Grieving Dolly Parton On My Mother’s Birthday

I put off the call until the evening after learning of Dolly’s death.

得知多莉去世后，我把电话推迟到晚上。

I put off everything on my to-do list, crawl into bed and spend the afternoon alternating between soft tears and sobs.

我把待办事项清单上的所有事情都推迟了，爬上床，整个下午都在轻声哭泣和抽泣中度过。

I put three dozen red roses under her West Asheville mural and gather with others as some of us cry, some kiss a hand before resting it on her cheek.

我把三打红玫瑰放在她的西阿什维尔壁画下，和其他人聚集在一起，我们中的一些人哭泣，一些人亲吻一只手，然后将其放在她的脸颊上。

I put off the call as my partner and I sit at dinner, slowly taking bites, still in view of the mural, watching teens, seniors, and everyone in between place flowers, cards, a butterfly flag, and hug while we listen to the restaurant’s all-Dolly playlist.

我推迟了通话，我和我的搭档坐在一起吃晚饭，慢慢地吃着东西，仍然看着壁画，看着青少年、老年人和中间的每个人都献上鲜花、卡片、蝴蝶旗，并拥抱，同时我们听着餐厅的全多莉播放列表。

I put off the call until my partner says, Babe, you have to call your mother.

我推迟了电话，直到我的伴侣说，宝贝，你必须给你妈妈打电话。

You know she goes to bed early.

你知道她很早就睡觉了。

I put off putting off and she answers just as I think this will be a voicemail year.

我推迟了，她接了电话，我认为这将是语音信箱的一年。

I wish her a happy birthday, and she thanks me before saying, Sad day for you, but you’ll never forget my 74th birthday.

我祝她生日快乐，她向我表示感谢，然后说，这对你来说是悲伤的一天，但你永远不会忘记我的 74 岁生日。

I wish I could put off thinking she’ll ever change.

我希望我能推迟认为她会改变的想法。

Dustin Brookshire lives in North Carolina, and his debut poetry collection, For All Of Us Faggots , is forthcoming from Lily Poetry Review Books in March 2027.

达斯汀·布鲁克希尔 (Dustin Brookshire) 居住在北卡罗来纳州，他的首部诗集《For All Of Us Fagots》将于 2027 年 3 月由 Lily Poetry Review Books 出版。

He is editor of When I Was I Straight: A Tribute to Maureen Seaton Tribute and co-editor of Let Me Say This: A Dolly Parton Poetry Anthology .

他是《当我是异性恋时：向莫林·西顿致敬》的编辑，也是《让我这么说：多莉·帕顿诗歌选集》的联合编辑。

This poem was selected by October poetry curator Jessica L.

这首诗被十月诗歌策展人杰西卡·L.

Walsh, who writes: “Dustin Brookshire captures the wave of grief at losing a beloved inspiration who has deeply impacted his entire life, a woman who offered love when he most needed it and motivated him to keep on.

沃尔什写道：“达斯汀·布鲁克希尔捕捉到了失去一位深爱的灵感的悲伤浪潮，这位灵感对他的一生产生了深远的影响，一个在他最需要的时候给予爱并激励他继续前进的女人。

The speaker’s grief disrupts every element of his life, changing everything—except for the heartbreaking way the speaker’s mother insists on centering herself.

说话者的悲伤扰乱了他生活的方方面面，改变了一切——除了说话者母亲坚持以令人心碎的方式集中注意力。

Everyone with a troubled relationship to a loved one can relate to that feeling of knowing what to expect but hoping—always hoping—for better.”

每个与所爱之人的关系出现问题的人都会有这样的感觉：知道会发生什么，但希望——总是希望——更好。”