99: I Enjoy Being A Girl, Sort Of - This American Life
You are using an outdated browser.
您正在使用过时的浏览器。
Please upgrade your browser or activate Google Chrome Frame to improve your experience.
请升级您的浏览器或激活 Google Chrome 浏览器内嵌框架以改善您的体验。
Sign up for a free Life Partners trial, and you can watch the video “A Night of Stories and Improv.”
注册免费试用《Life Partners》，您可以观看视频“故事与即兴表演之夜”。
00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #99 | January 27, 2006 99: I Enjoy Being A Girl, Sort Of Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 99 集 | 2006 年 1 月 27 日 99：我喜欢做一个女孩，有点注释：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass So a new girl transfers into Rebecca's high school, an all-girls school.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 一名新女孩转入丽贝卡的高中，这是一所女子学校。
And it took a little while for everybody to figure her out because she transferred in from public school.
大家花了一段时间才了解她的情况，因为她是从公立学校转来的。
Actually, from one of the best public schools in the city.
实际上，来自该市最好的公立学校之一。
But still, in their eyes---
但在他们眼中——
She like had a lot of background.
她喜欢有很多背景。
And so when she came here, people thought she's nothing.
所以当她来到这里时，人们认为她什么都不是。
She's another--
她是另一个——
Public school kid?
公立学校的孩子？
Oh, so she's just like--
哦，所以她就像——
She's ghetto.
她是贫民窟。
Ira Glass She's ghetto?
艾拉·格拉斯 她是贫民窟？
She's ghetto, meaning she's from public school?
她是贫民窟，这意味着她来自公立学校？
No. Just the style.
不，只是风格。
Ira Glass Does she dress ghetto?
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）她穿贫民窟的衣服吗？
At first.
起初。
When she first came there.
当她第一次来到那里时。
Ghetto hoochie mama.
贫民区胡奇妈妈。
Ghetto hoochie mama.
贫民区胡奇妈妈。
I have to admit I did not know exactly what she meant by that.
我必须承认我并不确切地知道她这句话的意思。
So helpfully, Rebecca searched her brain for another phrase to explain it.
丽贝卡在大脑中搜寻另一个短语来解释它，这很有帮助。
Booty house girl.
战利品之家的女孩。
Do you what house music is?
你知道什么是浩室音乐吗？
Yeah, of course.
是的，当然。
Rebecca She was the kind of girl who all into booty house music.
丽贝卡（Rebecca） 她是那种热衷于战利品浩室音乐的女孩。
Fact is, there are so many ways of being a teenage girl, and you can switch from one to another Like one friend of Rebecca's who started high school with blond hair, blue eyes.
事实上，成为十几岁女孩的方式有很多种，你可以从一种方式切换到另一种方式，就像丽贝卡的一位朋友一样，她从一开始就是金发蓝眼睛的高中。
She started with the alternative, preppy girls.
她从另类的预科生女孩开始。
Gap clothes.
间隙衣服。
Straight, Gap, Banana Republic khakis, the crewneck sweaters.
直筒、Gap、香蕉共和国卡其裤、圆领毛衣。
How'd she talk when she was alternative?
当她是另类时，她是怎样说话的？
With no accent, no inflection on anything.
没有口音，没有任何变化。
She was just kind of like, yeah, dude.
她只是有点像，是的，伙计。
Yeah.
是的。
That year, that was freshman year.
那一年，正是大一。
And then she went to the Spanish group after, the Latinas.
然后她又去了西班牙组，拉丁裔组。
And she dressed in big, gold hoop earrings and real dark lipstick, like almost black.
她戴着大金圈耳环，涂着真正的深色唇膏，几乎是黑色的。
And the real thick eyeliner.
还有真正的粗眼线。
And then she started saying-- she'll be talking to you and she says but.
然后她开始说——她会和你说话，她说但是。
She wouldn't say but anymore, she'd say pero.
她不再说“但是”，她会说“pero”。
That's Spanish.
那是西班牙语。
And she'll go mira, mira.
她会去米拉，米拉。
You know, mean look.
你知道，看起来很卑鄙。
Look, look, look.
看，看，看。
Right.
正确的。
Rebecca She got more and more into it where she'd say instead of "look at that fine guy," "oh, look at that papi over there." That was all of sophomore year.
丽贝卡：她越来越投入其中，她不再说“看看那个好人”，而是说“哦，看看那边的那个爸爸”。那是大二的全部时间了。
And then, junior year she was kind of getting like-- well, we called it ghetto style.
然后，大三的时候，她有点像——嗯，我们称之为贫民区风格。
Because all of a sudden, she was dressing with big, baggy pants, windbreakers, Nike shirts, big gold chains.
因为突然之间，她就穿上了又大又宽松的裤子、风衣、耐克衬衫、大金链子。
And if she wanted to tell you-- so she got excited.
如果她想告诉你——那么她就会很兴奋。
She'd get real excited.
她会非常兴奋。
And OK, she came up to me one day and she's, oh, girl, we was driving in the car.
好吧，有一天她来找我，她说，哦，女孩，我们正在开车。
We saw this guy.
我们看到了这个人。
He was fine.
他很好。
And he looked my way and I was like, what's up, baby.
他看着我，我就想，怎么了，宝贝。
Wow.
哇。
Rebecca And she got real into it though, smacking her lips and [MAKES LIP SMACKING SOUND].
丽贝卡 不过她还是很投入，咂嘴并[发出咂嘴的声音]。
She gets hyper.
她变得亢奋。
And she's slamming her hands.
她猛地拍着手。
I think.
我认为。
Ira Glass Now senior year, that girl is a Clueless girl.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）现在已经是大四了，那个女孩是个无能的女孩。
Clueless.
无知。
Meaning she acts and dresses like the characters in the movie and the TV show Clueless.
这意味着她的行为和穿着就像电影和电视剧《独领风骚》中的角色一样。
Stacked shoes, polyester bellbottoms, retro '70s style.
叠层鞋，涤纶喇叭裤，复古 70 年代风格。
It's hard to imagine many boys changing style this quickly, this willfully, this many times.
很难想象有多少男孩如此迅速、如此任性、如此多次地改变风格。
It is very, very girl.
这是非常非常女孩。
Transforming yourself head to toe every year because you can.
每年从头到脚改变自己，因为你可以。
And because you're expected to be that obsessed with how you look.
因为你应该对自己的外表如此着迷。
So Rebecca, we're thinking about calling this week's show, I Enjoy Being a Girl, Sort Of.
丽贝卡，我们正在考虑将本周的节目命名为“我喜欢做一个女孩，有点”。
And I just want to ask, do you have any thoughts on that theme?
我只是想问，你对这个主题有什么想法吗？
How so?
为何如此？
Rebecca Because we get to the fun things.
丽贝卡 因为我们接触到了有趣的事情。
The fun things being?
有趣的事情是什么？
Rebecca I mean, we can do whatever we want with our faces, with our clothes, with our hair.
丽贝卡 我的意思是，我们可以用我们的脸、衣服、头发做任何我们想做的事情。
And well also because girls don't get as much pressure from things like gangs and all that stuff that guys do.
也因为女孩不会从帮派和男孩所做的所有事情中受到太大的压力。
We don't have to be hard and try to be, like macho.
我们不必表现得很坚强，也不必努力表现得像男子气概。
But we could if we want to.
但如果我们愿意的话我们可以。
And since all the equal rights have come up, we can do whatever.
既然所有的平等权利都出现了，我们就可以做任何事。
Like way more options than back in the day.
比以前有更多的选择。
It's perfect.
太完美了。
It's perfect?
完美吗？
Rebecca Well, no, no. OK, it's not perfect.
丽贝卡 嗯，不，不。好吧，它并不完美。
But it's getting there.
但它已经到了那里。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass Well, today on our program, enjoying being a girl, sort of, and sort of not.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）好吧，今天在我们的节目中，有点享受做一个女孩，又有点不享受。
Act One, Fatty Suit.
第一幕，胖子套装。
David Sedaris explains how one girl sidestepped her father's wish that she be thin and pretty and focus on getting a man through a technique that was almost like a kind of industrial sabotage.
大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）解释了一个女孩如何回避她父亲希望她又瘦又漂亮的愿望，并专注于通过一种几乎就像一种工业破坏的技术来吸引男人。
Act Two, How to Be a Man.
第二幕，如何做一个男人。
Writer Sarah Miller attends a class in New York City that teaches women how to walk and talk and act like men.
作家莎拉·米勒在纽约参加一门课程，教女性如何像男性一样走路、说话和举止。
Act Three, Strength in Numbers.
第三幕，人多力量大。
Six women, a van, a 12 hour drive to Mississippi that starts in the middle of the night and ends in a casino in a cotton field.
六名妇女，一辆面包车，从半夜出发，驱车 12 小时前往密西西比州，终点是棉田里的赌场。
Act Four, Taking Sisterhood One Step further.
第四幕，让姐妹情谊更进一步。
A happily married polygamist wife explains how having eight women married to one man is the ultimate feminist lifestyle.
一位婚姻幸福的一夫多妻制妻子解释说，八个女人嫁给一个男人是终极女权主义生活方式。
From WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 和国际公共广播电台的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass, stay with us.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，和我们在一起吧。
Act One, Fatty Suit.
第一幕，胖子套装。
David Sedaris has this parable of the pressures on modern women and how one woman, his sister, responded.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 有一个寓言，讲述了现代女性所承受的压力以及他的妹妹一位女性的反应。
My father called me late one recent Sunday evening, excited with the news that my sister, Amy, was scheduled to appear in a magazine article on young, New York women.
最近的一个周日晚上，父亲给我打电话，得知我的妹妹艾米将出现在一篇有关纽约年轻女性的杂志文章中，他感到很兴奋。
Can you imagine, he asked.
你能想象吗，他问道。
My God, put a camera in front of that girl and she'll shine like a diamond!
天啊，把相机放在那个女孩面前，她就会像钻石一样闪闪发光！
Between the single men and the job opportunities, her phone is going to be ringing right off the hook!
单身男人和工作机会之间，她的电话马上就要响了！
My father has always placed a great deal of importance on his daughter's physical beauty.
我的父亲一直非常重视女儿的外表美。
It is to him, their greatest asset, and he monitors their appearance with an almost freakish intensity.
这对他来说是他们最大的资产，他以近乎怪异的强度监视着他们的外表。
Because it was always assumed that we would go to college, my brother and I were free to grow as plump and ugly as we liked.
因为人们总是认为我们会上大学，所以我和我的兄弟可以自由地随心所欲地变得又胖又丑。
I might wander freely through the house drinking pancake batter from a plastic bucket, but the moment one of my sisters overspilled her bikini, our father was right there to mix his metaphors.
我可能会在房子里自由漫步，喝塑料桶里的煎饼面糊，但当我的一个姐妹把比基尼洒出来的那一刻，我们的父亲就在那里混合他的隐喻。
Jesus, Flossy, what are we running here, a dairy farm?
天哪，弗洛西，我们在这里经营什么，奶牛场？
Look at you, you're the size of a tank.
看看你，你有坦克那么大。
Two few more pounds and you won't be able to cross state lines without a trucking license.
再多两磅，如果没有卡车运输许可证，你将无法跨越州界。
Three of my sisters responded to this pressure by losing themselves, however briefly, to drugs and alcohol.
我的三个姐妹为了应对这种压力，沉迷于毒品和酒精，尽管时间很短暂。
The one exception is my sister, Amy, who for as long as I can remember has chosen to lose herself in others.
唯一的例外是我的妹妹艾米，从我记事起，她就选择在别人身上迷失自己。
For Amy, school was dedicated solely to the study or her teachers.
对于艾米来说，学校只是为了学习或她的老师。
She meticulously charted the reputation of their shoes and blouses and was quick to pinpoint their mannerisms.
她仔细地列出了他们鞋子和衬衫的声誉，并很快找出了他们的举止。
Practicing alone in the basement, she would pace before her king-sized blackboard in full costume.
她独自在地下室练习，穿着全套服装，在特大号黑板前踱步。
Her imaginary classroom was a forum where the teachers ignored the lesson plan, preferring instead to discuss their elaborate home lives, which most often involved the bedridden mother forced to take oxygen through a tank.
她想象中的教室是一个论坛，老师们忽略了教学计划，而是更喜欢讨论他们精心设计的家庭生活，其中最常见的是卧床不起的母亲被迫通过气瓶吸氧。
My sister turned that same eye on the adults my parents knew from the neighborhood and country club.
我姐姐也把同样的目光投向了我父母在社区和乡村俱乐部认识的成年人。
Choosing from her box of wigs and castoff dresses, she would prepare herself a false cocktail and sat at the rec room bar, mastering their slurred inflections.
她会从一盒假发和废弃的裙子中挑选出来，为自己准备一杯假鸡尾酒，然后坐在娱乐室的酒吧里，掌握它们含糊不清的语调。
She was great as Flow Wagner and Eleanor Kelleher.
她饰演的弗洛·瓦格纳和埃莉诺·凯莱赫非常棒。
But vocally, her best impersonation was of Penny Midland, a stylish, 50-year-old woman who work part-time at an art gallery my parents used to visit on a regular basis.
但从声音上来说，她最擅长模仿的是佩妮·米德兰 (Penny Midland)，她是一位 50 岁的时尚女性，在我父母经常去的一家美术馆做兼职。
Wearing a white page boy wig and one of my mother's better caftans, Amy began calling my father at the office.
艾米戴着一顶白色男孩假发，穿着一件我母亲更好的长袍，开始给办公室里的我父亲打电话。
Lou, Penny Midland here.
卢，佩妮·米德兰在这里。
How the hell are you?
你到底怎么样？
An awkward conversationalist, our father would fidget before saying, Penny.
我们的父亲是一个笨拙的健谈者，在说“佩妮”之前会坐立不安。
Well, what do you know?
那么，你知道什么？
Gosh it's good be hear your voice.
天哪，听到你的声音真是太好了。
The first few times she called, Amy discussed gallery business.
艾米最初几次打电话讨论的是画廊业务。
But little by little, she began complaining about her husband, a Westinghouse executive named Van.
但渐渐地，她开始抱怨她的丈夫，一位名叫范的西屋电气高管。
I want out, she'd say.
我想出去，她会说。
It isn't that I don't care for him as a friend, but at this point in my life I don't know that I can stay married to a man who, well, a man who likes boys.
并不是说我不关心他作为朋友，但在我生命的这个阶段，我不知道我可以和一个喜欢男孩的男人保持婚姻关系。
I don't know how else to say it.
我不知道还能怎么说。
The man likes boys and that's the way it is.
男人喜欢男孩，事情就是这样。
Our father offered comfort with such standard noncommittal phrases as, "I guess it takes two to tango," or "You hang in there, baby."
我们的父亲用一些标准的、不置可否的短语来安慰我们，比如“我想探戈需要两个人”或者“你坚持住，宝贝”。
Oh, Lou, it just feels so good to talk to someone who really understands.
哦，Lou，与真正理解的人交谈感觉真好。
I walked into the kitchen late one afternoon and came upon my 12-year-old sister propositioning her father.
一天下午晚些时候，我走进厨房，看到我 12 岁的妹妹正在向她父亲求婚。
I was thinking that maybe you and I could get together some time, just for laughs.
我在想也许你和我可以找个时间聚在一起，只是为了开怀大笑。
Unless we felt like taking it to another level.
除非我们想把它提升到另一个水平。
Amy studied her reflection in the oven door, brushing the white bangs away from her forehead with her heavily jeweled fingers.
艾米研究着烤箱门上自己的倒影，用戴着宝石的手指拨开额头上的白色刘海。
All I'm saying is that I find you to be a very attractive man.
我想说的是，我发现你是一个非常有魅力的男人。
Is that a crime?
这是犯罪吗？
This was what my mother meant when she accused people of playing a dangerous game.
这就是我母亲指责人们玩危险游戏时的意思。
Were my father to accept Penny's offer, Amy would have known him as a philanderer and wondered who else he might have slept with.
如果我父亲接受佩妮的提议，艾米就会知道他是个花心的人，并且想知道他还可能和谁上床。
Everything he'd ever said would be called into question and scanned for possible sexual content.
他所说的一切都会受到质疑，并被扫描以寻找可能的色情内容。
Was that really a business trip, or had he snuck off to Myrtle Beach with one of the Stravidies twins?
这真的是一次商务旅行，还是他和斯特拉维迪双胞胎之一偷偷去了默特尔比奇？
It is to his credit that our father was such a gentleman.
值得赞扬的是，我们的父亲是一位如此绅士的人。
Stammering that he was very flattered to be asked, he let Penny down as gently as possible.
他结结巴巴地表示很荣幸被邀请，并尽可能温和地让佩妮失望。
He offered to set her up with some available bachelors he knew from his office at IBM and told my sister to take care of herself.
他主动提出为她安排一些他在 IBM 办公室认识的单身汉，并告诉我妹妹要照顾好自己。
Adding that she was a very special woman who deserved to be happy.
并补充说她是一个非常特别的女人，值得幸福。
It was years before Amy admitted what she had done.
多年以后，艾米才承认自己所做的事情。
They were relatively uneventful years for our family and I imagine, a very confusing period of time for poor Penny Midland, who was frequently visited at the art gallery by my father and any number of his divorced business associates.
对于我们家来说，那是相对平静的几年，我想，对于可怜的佩妮·米德兰来说，这是一段非常混乱的时期，我父亲和他的一些离婚的商业伙伴经常去艺术画廊拜访她。
Here's the gal I was telling you about, he'd say to Bob Sweetie or Tommy Lattermore.
这是我向你介绍的那个女孩，他会对鲍勃·斯威蒂或汤米·拉特莫尔说。
I think the two of you would make a dynamite couple.
我想你们两个会成为一对火爆的情侣。
I swear to God.
我向上帝发誓。
Maybe some night this week the two of you could slip away and maybe have a few drinks.
也许本周的某个晚上，你们两个可以溜走，喝几杯。
Give it a try why don't you?
尝试一下为什么不呢？
The passage of time has not altered my father's obsessive attention to my sister's weight and appearance.
时间的流逝并没有改变父亲对妹妹体重和外表的过分关注。
And because of that, most of them keep their distance, checking in only by phone.
正因为如此，他们中的大多数人都保持距离，仅通过电话来查看。
Is it just my imagination, he'll ask, or has your voice gotten fatter?
他会问，这只是我的想象，还是你的声音变粗了？
You sound chubby to me.
你对我来说听起来很胖。
Is everything OK?
一切都好吗？
Because she has maintained her beautiful skin and youthful figure, Amy is my father's greatest treasure.
因为艾米一直保持着美丽的皮肤和年轻的身材，所以她是我父亲最大的财富。
She is by far, the most attractive member of our family.
到目前为止，她是我们家庭中最有吸引力的成员。
Yet she spent most of her life admiring skin diseases and praying for a hump.
然而，她一生的大部分时间都在欣赏皮肤病并祈祷驼峰能有。
It's not fair that I can't grow a beard she'll say, gluing a pebble-sized wort to the side of her nose.
我不能留胡子，这是不公平的，她会说，把鹅卵石大小的麦芽汁粘在她的鼻子旁边。
Compliments are genuinely lost on her.
她真的失去了赞美。
She can't see any benefit to being herself and is constantly searching for what she considers a flattering disguise.
她看不到做自己有任何好处，并且不断寻找她认为讨人喜欢的伪装。
She's got all the neck braces and false teeth a person could want, and recently spent a good deal of money on a customized fatty suit she enjoys wearing beneath sweat pants as tight and uninviting as sausage casings.
她拥有人们想要的所有颈托和假牙，最近还花了不少钱买了一套定制的肥大套装，她喜欢穿在像香肠肠衣一样紧绷、不吸引人的运动裤下面。
She couldn't afford the matching top and is reduced to waddling the streets much like two women fused together in some sort of a cruel experiment.
她买不起配套的上衣，只能在街上摇摇摆摆地走，就像两个女人在某种残酷的实验中融合在一起一样。
From the waist up, she's slim and fit, chugging forward on legs the size of tree trunks and followed by a wide, dimpled bottom so thick she could sit on a knitting needle and never feel a thing.
从腰部以上，她苗条而健康，用树干大小的腿向前推进，后面是宽阔、有酒窝的臀部，厚得让她坐在织针上都感觉不到任何东西。
She wore it home last Christmas where our startled, heartbroken father met us at the airport.
去年圣诞节，她戴着它回家，我们震惊、心碎的父亲在机场接我们。
He managed to silence his disapproval on the short ride to the house, but the moment Amy stepped into the bathroom he turned to me shouting, what the hell has happened to her?
在去房子的短短路程中，他设法平息了自己的不满，但艾米一踏进浴室，他就转向我大喊，她到底发生了什么事？
Jesus Christ Almighty, this is tearing me apart.
全能的耶稣基督，这让我心碎。
I'm in real pain here.
我这里真的很痛苦。
What?
什么？
Your sister, that's what.
你妹妹，就是这样。
The girl's ass is the size of a beanbag chair.
女孩的屁股有豆袋椅那么大。
I thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on her?
我以为你应该关注她？
I begged him to lower his voice.
我恳求他放低声音。
Please dad, don't mention it in front of her.
爸爸，请不要在她面前提起这件事。
Amy's very sensitive about her-- you know.
艾米对她非常敏感——你知道的。
Her what?
她什么？
Go ahead and say it.
说吧。
Her big fat ass.
她的大肥屁股。
That's what she's ashamed of, and she should be.
这就是她感到羞耻的地方，也是她应该感到羞耻的地方。
Christ Almighty, they could land choppers on ass like that.
万能的上帝啊，他们可以让直升机像那样降落在屁股上。
Oh, dad.
哦，爸爸。
Don't try to defend her, wise guy.
别试图为她辩护，聪明人。
She's a single woman and the clock is ticking away.
她是一个单身女性，时间正在流逝。
How is she supposed to find a husband with an ass like that?
像她这样的人，怎么找个老公呢？
He looked at me with great pity and shook his head.
他非常怜悯地看着我，摇了摇头。
What you don't know could fill a book.
你不知道的东西可以写满一本书。
My father composed himself when Amy re-entered the room, but the moment she opened the freezer door he acted as though she were tossing a lit match into the gas tank of his Porsche.
当艾米重新进入房间时，我父亲镇定下来，但当她打开冰箱门的那一刻，他的表现就好像她正在将一根点燃的火柴扔进他的保时捷的油箱里。
What in God's name are you doing?
看在上帝的份上，你在做什么？
Look at you, you're killing yourself.
看看你，你正在自杀。
Amy hugged a quart of ice cream to her chest and searched the drawers for a shovel-sized spoon.
艾米将一夸脱冰淇淋抱在胸前，在抽屉里寻找一把铲子大小的勺子。
Your problem is that you're bored, my father said.
你的问题是你很无聊，我父亲说。
You're bored and lonely and you're eating garbage to feel some kind of stinking void.
你感到无聊和孤独，你吃垃圾来感受某种发臭的空虚感。
I know what you're going through and believe me, you can lick this.
我知道你正在经历什么，相信我，你可以舔这个。
First of all, Amy said, I'm not bored.
首先，艾米说，我并不无聊。
And besides that, all I've eaten today are a stack of pancakes, four donuts, a danish at the airport, and a couple of really small brownies on the plane.
除此之外，我今天吃的只是一堆煎饼、四个甜甜圈、机场的一个丹麦面包，以及飞机上的几个非常小的布朗尼蛋糕。
She kept it up until our father, his voice cracking with pain, offered to find her some professional help.
她一直坚持下去，直到我们的父亲痛苦地声音嘶哑，主动提出为她寻求专业帮助。
I'm begging you to reach out before it's too late.
我恳求你在为时已晚之前伸出援手。
We can do this together.
我们可以一起做这件事。
There are programs and camps that specialize in this kind of thing.
有一些专门从事此类事情的项目和训练营。
But first, you have to admit that you have a problem.
但首先，你必须承认你有问题。
When Amy rejected his offer, he attempted to set an example.
当艾米拒绝他的提议时，他试图树立榜样。
Settling down to Christmas dinner, he pretended to be satisfied with nothing but a sliver of white meat accompanied by a single spear of broccoli.
坐下来吃圣诞晚餐时，他假装只吃一小片白肉和一根西兰花就满足了。
His athletic regime became theatric.
他的运动方式变得戏剧化。
That felt great, he'd say, finishing a round of sit-ups.
完成一轮仰卧起坐后，他会说，那感觉太棒了。
Now I'll do some squat thrusts, a couple dozen pushups, and it's off for a satisfying run.
现在我会做一些深蹲推力，几十个俯卧撑，然后就可以开始令人满意的跑步了。
Anyone want to join me?
有人想加入我吗？
Amy?
艾米？
She kept to her fatty suit until her legs were chafed and pimpled.
她一直穿着那件肥大的衣服，直到双腿擦伤、长满粉刺。
It was on the morning of our return flight when she revealed her joke and our father, bracing himself against the countertop, wept with the light.
就在我们回程航班的早上，她讲了她的笑话，我们的父亲靠在工作台面上，在灯光下哭泣。
Ha-ha he laughed as though he were reading the words off a page, the way he's always done.
哈哈，他笑起来，就像在读纸上的字一样，他总是这样做。
Ha-ha-ha, you really had me going.
哈哈哈，你真是让我心动了。
Ha-ha.
哈哈。
I knew you'd never let yourself go.
我知道你永远不会放过自己。
The fatty suit only reinvigorated him for the photo shoot he called about with such enthusiasm.
肥大的西装让他重新焕发了活力，去拍摄他充满热情的照片。
She had me fooled for a minute there, but even with a fat ass, you can't disguise the fact that she's a beautiful person and that's what really matters.
她在那里愚弄了我一分钟，但即使她有一个胖屁股，你也无法掩盖她是一个美丽的人的事实，这才是真正重要的。
Do you happen to know if they're going to be hiring a professional hairstylist, someone who really knows what they're doing?
您是否知道他们是否会聘请一位真正了解自己在做什么的专业发型师？
I sure as hell hope so because her hair is awfully thin and someone needs to talk her into losing those bangs.
我真的非常希望如此，因为她的头发非常稀疏，需要有人说服她放弃那些刘海。
There's a lot I don't tell my father when he calls asking after Amy.
当父亲打电话询问艾米的情况时，我有很多事情没有告诉他。
He wouldn't understand that she has no interest in getting married and was in fact, quite happy to break up with her live-in boyfriend.
他不会明白，她对结婚没有兴趣，事实上，与同居男友分手还很高兴。
He was a pleasant, hardworking fellow, whom she replaced with a dwarf rabbit named Tattletale.
他是一个令人愉快、勤奋的小伙子，她用一只名叫 Tattletale 的小兔子取代了他。
Tattletale enjoys chewing electrical cords, and as a result my sister's phone is often out of order.
Tattletale 喜欢咀嚼电线，因此我姐姐的电话经常出故障。
But it doesn't seem to bother her that available men can't get through.
但她似乎并不因为有空的男人无法打通电话而烦恼。
The last time she was asked out by a successful bachelor she paused for a few moments before saying, thanks for asking, but I'm really just not into white guys right now.
上次她被一位成功的单身汉约出去时，她停顿了一会儿，然后说，谢谢你的邀请，但我现在真的不喜欢白人。
This alone would have given my father an aneurysm.
仅此一点就会让我父亲得动脉瘤。
The clock is ticking, he says.
他说，时间正在流逝。
If she waits much longer she'll be alone for the rest of her life.
如果她再等下去，她的余生就会孤独一人。
This seems to suit Amy just fine.
这似乎很适合艾米。
For the time being, she seems perfectly content with her rabbit and an imaginary boyfriend she has named Ricky.
目前，她似乎对她的兔子和她命名为瑞奇的想象中的男朋友非常满意。
We'll be walking the streets of her West Village neighborhood, running errands, when she'll turn to me saying, Ricky gave me a bumper pool table for our one-month anniversary.
我们会在她西村附近的街道上散步，跑腿，这时她会转向我说，瑞奇送给我一张大台球桌作为我们的一个月周年纪念日。
I came home this afternoon and there it was parked beside the baby grand electric organ he gave me for President's Day.
今天下午我回到家，它停在他为总统日送给我的小型大型电风琴旁边。
I didn't know you played pool, I'll say.
我会说，我不知道你打台球。
When did you start?
你什么时候开始的？
How did you learn?
你是怎么学的？
Oh, a few months ago.
哦，几个月前。
Ricky taught me how to play on our last flight to Korea.
在飞往韩国的最后一趟航班上，瑞奇教我如何玩。
Oh, she'll say, he's not.
哦，她会说，他不是。
He just has a lot of friends there, so we go to Korea a lot.
他在那里有很多朋友，所以我们经常去韩国。
She carries on like this and after a while, Ricky seems not only real, but very likable.
她继续这样，过了一段时间，瑞奇看起来不仅真实，而且非常讨人喜欢。
Hey, my father will ask, what do you know about this Ricky person?
嘿，我父亲会问，你对瑞奇这个人了解多少？
Amy seems to think he's really something.
艾米似乎认为他真的很了不起。
What exactly has she told you?
她到底告诉了你什么？
It's always best to ask what he's already heard.
最好询问他已经听到的内容。
For all I know, Amy could have claimed that Ricky was a Navy SEAL, or the chief surgeon at a hospital specializing in diseases of the kidney or pancreas.
据我所知，艾米可以声称瑞奇是一名海豹突击队队员，或者是一家专门治疗肾脏或胰腺疾病的医院的首席外科医生。
When my father called asking about the photo shoot, I feigned ignorance.
当我父亲打电话询问拍摄照片的事情时，我假装不知道。
I didn't tell him that at the scheduled time, my sister arrived at the studio with unwashed hair and took her place beside a half dozen women carefully dressed in flattering outfits.
我没有告诉他，在预定的时间，我姐姐头发还没洗就来到了工作室，在六名精心打扮的女性旁边就座。
She waited while the others had their hair styled into the current fashion.
她等待着其他人把头发设计成时下流行的发型。
One by one, their brows were trained while makeup artists made the most of their lips and cheek bones.
她们的眉毛一一修整，化妆师则充分发挥她们的嘴唇和颧骨。
When called fourth to the styling table, Amy said only, I want to look like someone has beaten me up really, really bad.
当第四个被叫到造型台时，艾米只说，我想让自己看起来像是有人把我打得非常非常糟糕。
The makeup artist did a fine job.
化妆师做得很好。
The black eyes and purple jaw were accentuated by a series of scratch marks on her forehead.
她额头上的一系列划痕更加突出了黑色的眼睛和紫色的下巴。
Puss yellow pools surround her blistered nose and her swollen lips were fenced with mean rows of brackish stitches.
她起泡的鼻子周围是一滩淡黄色的水洼，肿胀的嘴唇上布满了一排排微咸的缝线。
Amy was enchanted with her new look.
艾米对她的新造型很着迷。
Following the photo shoot, she wore her bruises to the dry cleaner and grocery store.
拍摄完照片后，她带着瘀伤去了干洗店和杂货店。
Most people nervously looked away.
大多数人都紧张地移开视线。
But on the rare occasion someone asked what had happened, my sister smiled as brightly as possible saying, I'm in love.
但偶尔有人问起发生了什么事，姐姐却尽可能灿烂地笑着说，我恋爱了。
Can you believe it?
你能相信吗？
I'm finally, totally in love.
我终于彻底爱上了。
And you know what?
你知道吗？
It feels great.
感觉很棒。
David Sedaris is the author most recently of, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and editor of the collection, Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules: An Anthology of Outstanding Stories.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 是《给家人穿上灯芯绒和牛仔布》一书的作者，也是《赫拉克勒斯雕像前玩耍的孩子：杰出故事选集》系列的编辑。
This story was originally written for Vogue magazine, which then rejected it without explanation.
这个故事最初是为《Vogue》杂志写的，后来被杂志拒绝了，没有任何解释。
One Vogue employee speculated that perhaps it did not conform enough with Vogue's notions of feminine beauty.
一位《Vogue》员工推测，这或许不太符合《Vogue》对女性美的理念。
David's sister Amy is among other things, a star of the TV show and someday to be released movie, Strangers with Candy.
大卫的妹妹艾米是电视节目的明星，有一天还将上映电影《糖果陌生人》。
Act Two, How To Be a Man.
第二幕，如何做一个男人。
Well, one of the problems in doing a show like we're doing this week, a show made of different stories that seem to go together because they were all about, at some level, different ways of being a woman or a girl, is that you find yourself treading around all these broad generalizations about men and women that actually none of us really believe.
嗯，像我们这周做的节目，一个由不同故事组成的节目，因为它们在某种程度上都是关于成为女人或女孩的不同方式，所以问题之一是你发现自己在所有这些关于男人和女人的广泛概括中徘徊，而实际上我们没有人真正相信这些。
But we figured, we came this far with this theme, we might as well head down the river into the heart of darkness of gender cliches.
但我们想，既然我们已经带着这个主题走了这么远，我们不妨顺流而下，进入性别陈词滥调的黑暗中心。
And playing the Martin Sheen role in our little gender apocalypse now will be Sarah Miller.
现在，在我们的性别小启示录中扮演马丁·辛（Martin Sheen）角色的将是莎拉·米勒（Sarah Miller）。
Sarah Miller for a while, had the odd job of being a woman who wrote a sex column for men in a men's magazine, Details.
莎拉·米勒（Sarah Miller）有一段时间从事一份奇怪的工作，她是一名女性，为男性杂志《Details》撰写男性性专栏。
That job seemed to consist mostly of correcting guys gross misperceptions about women.
这项工作似乎主要是纠正男人对女人的严重误解。
We sent her to a class we heard about in New York City run by a woman named Diane Tore.
我们送她去参加我们听说在纽约市由一位名叫黛安·托尔 (Diane Tore) 的女士开办的课程。
A class that tries to teach women how to dress and walk and talk like men.
一个试图教女性如何像男性一样穿着、走路和说话的课程。
So it's kind of a reverse on her regular job.
所以这与她的日常工作有些相反。
Sarah Miller put on a loose fitting flannel shirt and tried to imagine transforming herself not just into any man, but into the kind of man who does not have a kind of ambiguous mix of traditionally male and female traits.
莎拉·米勒穿上一件宽松的法兰绒衬衫，试图想象自己不仅能变成任何一个男人，而且能变成那种不具有传统男性和女性特质的模糊混合体的男人。
She would become a guy's guy.
她会成为一个男人的男人。
I have to admit the idea of the workshop made me anxious.
我不得不承认研讨会的想法让我感到焦虑。
Just before I went I told a friend that I was afraid I already seemed like a guy.
就在我去之前，我告诉一个朋友，我担心我已经看起来像个男人了。
I'm tall, I'm loud, I swear a lot.
我很高，我很大声，我经常说脏话。
I told them I was afraid that Diane would say something to me like, God, you're a natural.
我告诉他们，我担心黛安会对我说，天啊，你真是个天生的人。
And I would take this to mean, you are naturally coarse and masculine.
我认为这意味着，你天生粗鲁而有男子气概。
And naturally, not at all pretty.
当然，一点也不漂亮。
I shouldn't have worried.
我不应该担心。
It turns out there's a whole world of gestures and attitudes between me in a flannel shirt and me being mistaken for a man.
事实证明，穿着法兰绒衬衫的我和被误认为是男人的我之间存在着各种各样的手势和态度。
There's the proper way to walk, for example.
例如，有正确的步行方式。
Diane demonstrated.
黛安示范了。
Sense of resolution ownership.
决议所有权感。
Sense that when I walk into this room, anything, anybody, could be mine.
感觉当我走进这个房间时，任何东西、任何人都可能是我的。
I could own anything and anybody, or everything, in this room.
我可以拥有这个房间里的任何东西、任何人或所有东西。
For that moment that my eyes rest there.
那一刻我的眼睛停在那里。
So that sense of ownership is conveyed in the gaze.
因此，凝视中传达了一种所有权感。
They're not afraid to take up the space or to own the space.
他们不害怕占用空间或拥有空间。
Or to check things out.
或者去检查一下。
How's this place structured?
这个地方的结构如何？
So when you walk you think you have a perimeter, a boundary of about three foot around you, OK?
所以当你走路时，你认为你周围有一个周长，大约三英尺的边界，好吗？
And this [UNINTELLIGIBLE], the way he walks, it's coming from the shoulders.
而这个[无法理解]，他走路的方式，是从肩膀发出的。
The hips are tight and he goes side to side at the same time he goes forward.
臀部收紧，他在前进的同时从一边走到另一边。
So it's like this 360 degrees moat around me, OK?
就像我周围有一条 360 度的护城河，好吗？
Then we gave it a try.
然后我们就尝试了一下。
I thought slumping was the quickest route to maleness, but when I looked around I saw the other stood ramrod straight.
我以为颓废是通往男性化的最快途径，但当我环顾四周时，我发现另一个人笔直地站着。
We examined each other for clues.
我们互相审视，寻找线索。
And maybe just introduce yourself to different people in the room.
也许只是向房间里的不同人介绍自己。
Just shake hands.
只需握手即可。
Don't smile.
别笑。
Stop smiling.
别再微笑了。
Smiling was the one thing none of us could seem to cut out.
微笑似乎是我们谁都无法避免的一件事。
Diane had to remind us again and again.
Diane had to remind us again and again.
So as it became clear to me that I was not going to leave as a convincing man, I manufactured a goal for myself.
因此，当我清楚地意识到我不会作为一个令人信服的人离开时，我为自己制定了一个目标。
I was here, I decided, to learn arrogance.
I was here, I decided, to learn arrogance.
Yeah.
是的。
So you want to cover the nipples first of all.
So you want to cover the nipples first of all.
Going to start wrapping from the bottom.
Going to start wrapping from the bottom.
An ACE bandage, my sisters, is the first tool you need on your path to gender liberation.
我的姐妹们，ACE 绷带是您在性别解放之路上所需的第一个工具。
Mine was double wide.
我的宽度是两倍。
It kept snapping out of my hands as I wrapped it around my chest.
当我把它缠在胸前时，它不断地从我手中脱落。
It's got to be quite tight.
It's got to be quite tight.
But not so tight that you can't breath.
But not so tight that you can't breath.
That's ridiculous.
这太荒谬了。
So remember, you're going to be wearing this the whole day and evening.
所以请记住，您将全天和晚上都穿着它。
So should be OK.
所以应该没问题。
All right, here we go.
好吧，我们开始吧。
This was the actual song we were listening to as we wrapped our chest down.
这就是我们低着头听的真实歌曲。
Diane had brought along a tape called "Frat Rock" to enhance that double X chromosome vibe we were all striving for.
黛安带来了一盘名为“Frat Rock”的磁带，以增强我们都在努力追求的双 X 染色体氛围。
[MUSIC PLAYING - BAD COMPANY - CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE]
[音乐播放 - 糟糕的公司 - 无法得到足够的爱]
My clothes, two big Levi's, a plaid flannel shirt, a Princeton t-shirt with Hebrew letters, all would have hung nicely on a guy's broad shoulders and slim hips.
我的衣服，两件大李维斯，一件格子法兰绒衬衫，一件带有希伯来字母的普林斯顿T恤，所有这些都很好地挂在一个男人宽阔的肩膀和苗条的臀部上。
But I looked a little lumpy.
But I looked a little lumpy.
My breasts had not disappeared so much as retreated under extreme duress to the middle of my chest.
我的胸部并没有消失，而是在极度的压力下退缩到了胸部中部。
Two sad, misplaced lumps uncertain of their meaning.
两个悲伤的、错位的肿块，不确定它们的意义。
My whiskers were good, but my eyes-- Diane pointed this out about all of us-- retained the hopeful sweetness of femininity.
我的胡须很好，但我的眼睛——黛安指出了我们所有人的这一点——保留了女性气质中充满希望的甜蜜。
And if I resembled anything, it was only some strange hybrid of a lumberjack, lady from Lady and the Tramp, and Marie Antoinette.
如果说我有什么相似之处的话，那就是伐木工、《小姐与流浪汉》中的女士和玛丽·安托瓦内特的某种奇怪的混合体。
I made up a new identity.
I made up a new identity.
Now my name was Dan Rosen.
Now my name was Dan Rosen.
I was a Brown dropout who worked at St. Mark's Bookshop.
我是布朗大学的辍学生，在圣马可书店工作。
I stacked the [UNINTELLIGIBLE] readers.
我把[无法辨认]的读卡器堆放在一起。
I bought Paul Auster novels on discount.
我打折买了保罗·奥斯特的小说。
My parents lived in Mt. Kisco and were lame.
My parents lived in Mt. Kisco and were lame.
Brown was lame.
布朗很蹩脚。
I was lame.
我是瘸子。
I'm Dan.
我是丹。
I'm Dan.
我是丹。
Diane The thing is that you are using the same [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
黛安 问题是你正在使用相同的[无法理解]。
I'm Dan and my boobs hurt.
I'm Dan and my boobs hurt.
Sarah Miller As Dan I sat down for my eating lesson and I noticed that none of us were really winning any surprises in the realness department.
莎拉·米勒饰演丹，我坐下来上我的饮食课，我注意到我们中没有人真正在真实性方面赢得任何惊喜。
Two of the girls had long hair tied back in ponytails.
其中两个女孩留着长发，扎成马尾辫。
When you looked at them you had a split second to decide if they were women dressed up as men or the Allman Brothers, and it wasn't a tough call.
当你看着他们时，你有一瞬间决定他们是女扮男装还是奥尔曼兄弟，这并不是一个艰难的决定。
One of them asked Diane how we should be sitting.
其中一位问黛安我们应该怎么坐。
With your legs open.
双腿张开。
Until you're taking as much space as possible.
Until you're taking as much space as possible.
Really?
真的吗？
Diane Yeah, you see guys on diners.
Diane Yeah, you see guys on diners.
You sit next to them and they'll be in these little round seats.
你坐在他们旁边，他们就会坐在这些小圆形座位上。
And their knees will be pushing right into your--
他们的膝盖会直接推入你的——
We could sit and eat with our legs as wide as we wanted, but we were not men.
我们可以坐着吃饭，双腿想多宽就多宽，但我们不是男人。
One of the Allman Brothers spent the meal nibbling her way through about half a piece of pita bread.
奥尔曼兄弟中的一位在吃饭时啃了大约半块皮塔饼面包。
Eating it with the slow deliberation of one not at peace with food.
慢慢地吃着它，就像一个对食物不满意的人。
The other Allman Brother looked a little bit like a guy, but she had this way of nodding and saying, uh hmm when she listened and it gave her away.
另一个奥尔曼兄弟看起来有点像个男人，但她听了就点头说，嗯嗯，这就出卖了她。
Only Diane, dressed up as her alter ego, Dan King, looked like a guy.
只有黛安打扮成她的另一个自我丹·金，看起来像个男人。
It was the eyes more than anything else.
It was the eyes more than anything else.
Her's were cool, detached.
Her's were cool, detached.
They assumed rather than asked.
他们假设而不是询问。
We were all too eager and naive looking.
We were all too eager and naive looking.
I said that we looked like little does tenderly eating grass and everyone laughed.
我说我们看起来像小可爱在吃草，大家都笑了。
When we finished eating, the place was a mess.
当我们吃完饭后，现场一片狼藉。
Food, napkins, and take-out containers everywhere.
到处都是食物、餐巾和外卖容器。
No one wanted clean up.
没有人愿意清理。
We sat in our men's clothes, staring at everything, not moving.
我们穿着男装坐在那儿，盯着一切，一动不动。
I knew what we were thinking.
我知道我们在想什么。
So now we got to get some [BLEEP] bitches to clean this [BLEEP] up, huh?
所以现在我们得找一些[BLEEP]母狗来清理这个[BLEEP]，是吧？
Yeah.
是的。
Sarah Miller My highest hope for the workshop once I realized I was in very little danger of actually resembling a man, was that I would have some great insight into the mystery of what makes men men and women women.
莎拉·米勒（Sarah Miller） 当我意识到自己实际上与男人相似的危险很小时，我对研讨会最大的希望是我能够深入了解男人和女人的奥秘。
But I think there's no mystery left.
但我认为已经没有什么秘密了。
The train of gender is too familiar, full of places we visited way too many times.
性别的列车太熟悉了，充满了我们去过太多次的地方。
Men are detached, unapologetic, unafraid to take up space.
男人是超然的、毫无歉意的、不害怕占据空间的。
Women are conciliatory and self-effacing.
女人性格温和、谦虚。
Men gulp, women sip.
男人喝一口，女人喝一口。
I'm not sure there's anything Diane or anyone could say that would really surprise any of us.
我不确定黛安或任何人所说的话会让我们中的任何一个人感到惊讶。
I did have one moment in the workshop where I was walking across the floor, shoulders hunched, lips in a scowl, where I felt what it must be like to Dan Rosen.
我确实在车间里经历过这样的时刻：我在地板上行走，肩膀耸起，嘴唇皱起，我感受到了丹·罗森的感受。
College dropout, keeper of the magazine section.
大学辍学生，杂志部的管理员。
Is this it, I thought?
我想，是这样吗？
Is this what it feels like to be a guy?
这就是身为男人的感觉吗？
But I realized that what I felt-- useless, defensive, underachieving, bored, tragically adolescent-- was not about feeling like a guy, but about remembering what it felt like to be in my early 20s.
但我意识到，我所感受到的——无用、防御性、成绩不佳、无聊、悲惨的青春期——并不是感觉自己像个男人，而是记住了我20岁出头的感觉。
What it felt like to be a failure.
失败是什么感觉。
And I don't need to be in drag to tap into that.
我不需要被拖拽来利用它。
As our graduation ceremony for the workshop, we wanted to go to a men's club to watch strippers.
作为研讨会的毕业典礼，我们想去男士俱乐部观看脱衣舞。
But it was a Sunday night in Giuliani's New York and we couldn't find a single one open.
但那是朱利安尼所在的纽约的一个周日晚上，我们找不到一家营业的店。
I was secretly relieved when we ended up at a restaurant in the West Village.
当我们来到西村的一家餐馆时，我暗自松了口气。
Right there in the booth I surreptitiously unwrapped my chest.
就在摊位上，我偷偷地打开了我的胸部。
I ordered a Diet Coke and a salad.
我点了一杯健怡可乐和一份沙拉。
Sarah Miller.
莎拉·米勒.
These days she writes a column for Men's Health magazine.
最近，她为《男性健康》杂志撰写专栏。
Her novel, Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn, is coming out this March.
她的小说《吉迪恩·雷伯恩的内心深处》将于今年三月出版。
Coming up, polygamy as feminist lifestyle.
接下来，一夫多妻制作为女权主义的生活方式。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, invite a variety of writers and reporters and everyday people to come in and speak on that theme.
当然，在我们的节目中，我们每周都会选择一个主题，邀请各种作家、记者和普通人进来并就该主题发表演讲。
Today on our program, I Enjoy Being a Girl, Sort Of.
今天在我们的节目中，我喜欢做一个女孩，有点。
In this second half of our program, we turned the stories of individual women and girls to stories of groups of women and girls.
在我们项目的后半部分，我们将个体妇女和女孩的故事转变为妇女和女孩群体的故事。
We have arrived at Act Three, Strength in Numbers.
我们已经到了第三幕，“人多力量大”。
This is the story about one group of women.
这是关于一群女性的故事。
And I have to say that every woman working on this show at some point during this last week has expressed a little envy for the women in this group.
我不得不说，在上周的某个时刻，参与该节目的每位女性都对这个群体中的女性表示了一点羡慕。
And I think maybe the best way to start their story is with their road trip.
我认为也许开始他们的故事的最好方式就是他们的公路旅行。
Barbara, Jewel, Lynn, Tiny, Valerie, and Rosetta decided to leave the husbands and kids and grandkids behind and hit the road.
芭芭拉、朱厄尔、林恩、蒂尼、瓦莱丽和罗塞塔决定离开丈夫、孩子和孙子，上路。
4 o'clock in the morning?
凌晨4点？
One Of The Hens 4:00 AM.
一只母鸡 凌晨 4:00。
We arrived at the donut place and they were not open.
我们到达了甜甜圈店，他们还没有营业。
They did not open til 7:00.
他们直到7:00才开门。
That is sad when you arrive at the donut place-- you were earlier then.
当你到达甜甜圈店时，你会感到难过——那时你来得比较早。
They were not open.
他们没有开放。
One Of The Hens And they would not open to 7:00 on the dot.
一只母鸡 他们不会在 7:00 准时开门。
We're waiting on 6 o'clock, so we can go into the donut place.
我们在六点钟等候，这样我们就可以去甜甜圈店了。
We got three hens in the car planning on how we could go up to Rosewood hospital and sneak up in the room.
我们车里有三只母鸡，正在计划如何前往罗斯伍德医院并偷偷溜进房间。
So it's like 4:00 in the morning.
所以现在就像凌晨 4:00。
Sometime between 4:00 and 6:00 in the morning on a Friday morning and you decide you're going to visit one of your friends, one the hens who's in the hospital before you hit the road.
周五早上 4:00 到 6:00 之间的某个时间，您决定去拜访您的一位朋友，一只在您上路之前住院的母鸡。
Yeah, but you know I thought we'd kind of pose as doctors and we're coming to see [?
是的，但你知道我想我们会假扮成医生，然后我们来看[？
Marilyn Jones.
玛丽莲·琼斯。
?] There's a special case.
？] 有一个特殊情况。
They do it on TV all the time.
他们一直在电视上这样做。
I can flash my DCFS badge.
我可以出示我的 DCFS 徽章。
One Of The Hens I was going to play like I worked for DCFS.
我本来打算像在 DCFS 工作一样去玩《一只母鸡》。
I do work for DCFS.
我在 DCFS 工作。
Department of Children and Family Services.
儿童和家庭服务部。
Department of Children and Family Services.
儿童和家庭服务部。
State agency.
国家机构。
One Of The Hens So I was going to show my ID and said that I had to talk to her about her kids.
一只母鸡所以我要出示我的身份证并说我必须和她谈谈她的孩子。
At 5:00 in the morning?
早上 5:00 吗？
I'm from DCFS, I got to talk to you about your kids at 5:00 in the morning.
我来自 DCFS，早上 5:00 我要和你谈谈你的孩子。
Now see, I was the last one they picked up, so I didn't know anything about that.
现在看，我是他们最后一个接的人，所以我对此一无所知。
And your reaction was?
你的反应是？
One Of The Hens I would not have agreed with that.
一只母鸡 我不会同意这一点。
My [UNINTELLIGIBLE] out.
我的[无法辨认]出局了。
I'm with DCFS legal.
我是 DCFS 的合法成员。
I need to have her sign some papers.
我需要让她签署一些文件。
She has high blood pressure and her sugar is up, so we don't want to excite her too much, but we want to give her that hen love.
她患有高血压，血糖也很高，所以我们不想让她太兴奋，但我们想给她母鸡般的爱。
And hen love.
和母鸡的爱。
One Of The Hens Give her a big hug and kiss.
一只母鸡 给她一个大大的拥抱和亲吻。
The Hens.
母鸡们。
Most of them have known each other since they were teenagers, growing up in Inglewood on Chicago's south side.
他们中的大多数人从青少年时期就认识了，在芝加哥南区的英格尔伍德长大。
A couple joined the group when they were working with other hands at the switchboard at The Palmer House, a fancy Chicago Hotel.
一对夫妇加入了这个小组，当时他们正在芝加哥一家高档酒店帕尔默之家的总机前与其他人一起工作。
Nine women.
九个女人。
And every March they take a big trip together or they throw a party.
每年三月，他们都会一起去一次大旅行，或者举办一个聚会。
Like the dinner dance they threw for themselves and their families where everybody wore white and gold.
就像他们为自己和家人举办的晚宴舞会一样，每个人都穿着白色和金色的衣服。
Everybody.
大家。
This March, they took a tape recorder and drove from Chicago to a casino in Mississippi and back in three days.
今年三月，他们带着一台录音机，开车从芝加哥到密西西比州的一家赌场，三天后又回来了。
They visited a stray Hen who works down at the casino, Sally.
他们拜访了一只在赌场工作的流浪母鸡莎莉。
Three of the Hens-- Jewel, Tiny, and Lynn came into the studio to talk about trip and explain what the Hens are all about.
三只母鸡——Jewel、Tiny 和 Lynn 来到工作室谈论旅行并解释母鸡的全部内容。
In the South, they say that when it's a bunch of women that get together, a bunch of hens.
在南方，人们说，当一群女人聚在一起时，就是一群母鸡。
Yeah, they say it in kind of a mean way.
是的，他们用一种刻薄的方式这么说。
Yeah, but we didn't take it as being means.
是的，但我们并不认为这是一种手段。
Hens to the Hilt.
母鸡到刀柄。
One Of The Hens Hilt.
母鸡刀柄之一。
That was our original name.
那是我们原来的名字。
Because when we traveled, we only stayed at Hilton Hotels.
因为我们旅行的时候只住希尔顿酒店。
Well, hell, your husband said something about they ain't nothing but a bunch of hens.
好吧，见鬼，你丈夫说过他们只不过是一群母鸡而已。
Bunch of hens.
一群母鸡。
Now he did say that in a mean way.
现在他确实以一种刻薄的方式说出了这句话。
In a very mean way.
以一种非常卑鄙的方式。
Ira Glass And you guys will help each other out, like if somebody's out of work or if somebody needs some money.
Ira Glass：你们会互相帮助，比如如果有人失业或者有人需要钱。
You guys will help out?
你们会帮忙吗？
We just did something like that recently.
我们最近刚刚做了类似的事情。
The last barbecue holiday.
最后一个烧烤假期。
Valerie's son went out to the army, so we came together with our families and had a big barbecue.
瓦莱丽的儿子去参军了，所以我们和家人一起吃了一顿丰盛的烧烤。
And at that barbecue we scraped together the little money that we had left to send him off to let him know we care.
在那次烧烤会上，我们凑了一点钱送他走，让他知道我们关心他。
And sent him off with money in his pocket with all our phone numbers and our addresses.
然后把他口袋里的钱和我们所有的电话号码和地址打发走了。
Have you got a letter yet?
你收到信了吗？
But we know he's doing fine.
但我们知道他做得很好。
We try to do things like that to let each other's family know that we care.
我们尝试做这样的事情，让彼此的家人知道我们关心他们。
So when your kids were growing up, when your kids were coming up, would you have a lot of contact with each other, talking about all the stuff they were doing?
那么，当你的孩子长大时，当你的孩子即将长大时，你们会互相接触很多，谈论他们所做的所有事情吗？
My kids basically stay with Jill and Barbara all the time.
我的孩子们基本上一直和吉尔和芭芭拉呆在一起。
We all had apartments next door to each other.
我们的公寓都是相邻的。
When our babies were one and two.
当我们的孩子一岁和两岁的时候。
101, 102, 103.
101、102、103。
I was 101, Tiny was 102, and Barbara was 103.
我当时 101 岁，蒂尼 102 岁，芭芭拉 103 岁。
There's a moment in the tape that you guys recorded on this last trip where really, literally everyone in the van is talking at the same time.
你们在上次旅行中录制的磁带中有一个时刻，实际上，货车里的每个人都在同时说话。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Ira Glass Now let me get to just the facts of how this weekend worked.
[插话] Ira Glass 现在让我简单介绍一下这个周末的情况。
You guys left at 4:00 in the morning on Friday morning and then you drove for how many hours?
你们周五早上凌晨 4:00 出发，然后开了几个小时？
Because you were heading from Illinois from Chicago through Tennessee, all the way to--
因为你要从伊利诺伊州出发，从芝加哥经田纳西州，一路前往——
12.
12.
It took us 12 hours.
我们花了12个小时。
Ira Glass You drove 12 straight hours more or less?
Ira Glass 您连续开车 12 个小时是多了还是少了？
And where did you--
而你在哪里——
Oh, we stopped.
哦，我们停了下来。
Oh, we stopped at a great place.
哦，我们停在了一个很棒的地方。
And I got this great restaurant in Lambert's.
我在兰伯特找到了一家很棒的餐厅。
Home of the throwed rolls.
扔面包卷的家。
It's like, Jill, what you talking about?
就像，吉尔，你在说什么？
I said, you guys, they throw the rolls at you.
我说，你们这些家伙，他们向你们扔面包卷。
People in the place throwing rolls and you have to catch them.
人们在这个地方扔面包卷，你必须接住他们。
Throwing rolls at you?
向你扔面包卷？
One Of The Hens Throwing dinner rolls at you.
一只母鸡向你扔晚餐。
Hot dinner rolls at you.
热腾腾的晚餐向你滚来。
Catch, catch, catch!
抓住，抓住，抓住！
One Of The Hens Because their rolls are so good that they couldn't serve them fast enough.
一只母鸡因为他们的面包卷太好吃了，他们上菜的速度不够快。
So one day the owner just threw one and that's how it started.
有一天，主人扔了一个，事情就是这样开始的。
So all you have to do is hold up your hand and they throw it and you catch it.
所以你所要做的就是举起你的手，他们扔出去，你接住它。
Now there's a recording of this and somebody apparently is not doing a very good job doing the catching.
现在有一段录音，显然有人在捕捉方面做得不太好。
Me.
我。
One Of The Hens [UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE].
一只母鸡[难以理解的短语]。
All right, so what's the name of this place for people listening on the radio--
好吧，对于听广播的人来说，这个地方叫什么名字——
Lambert's.
兰伯特的。
Ira Glass Lambert's and where is it?
Ira Glass Lambert's，它在哪里？
At interstate 57 and 55 there's Lambert's.
Lambert's 位于 57 号和 55 号州际公路旁。
Every time we get together is not fun and games, but then when we get together the following time we laugh about it.
每次我们聚在一起都不是好玩的游戏，但是当我们下次聚在一起的时候我们就会笑起来。
Because the last time we went to Oakbrook that really wasn't fun.
因为上次我们去奥克布鲁克那真的不好玩。
Why?
为什么？
What happened?
发生了什么？
One Of The Hens For years, Valerie has always so to speak, picked on Tony.
母鸡之一 多年来，瓦莱丽总是在挑衅托尼。
Tony.
托尼.
You know because Tony is the slow one.
你知道，因为托尼是个慢的人。
She's very slow.
她很慢。
You have to wait for her.
你必须等她。
Help her.
帮助她。
She walks with a cane sometime.
她有时拄着拐杖走路。
Yeah, you know, so she can't decide what she wants to put on.
是的，你知道，所以她无法决定自己想穿什么。
And so this particular night, Valerie just picked on Tony one too many times.
所以在这个特殊的夜晚，瓦莱丽多次挑衅托尼。
It was about some pictures or something.
是关于一些图片或其他东西的。
So the next thing I know, Tony had jumped up out her chair and [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
所以我知道的下一件事是，托尼从椅子上跳了起来，然后[无法辨认]。
It was like RoboCop.
就像机械战警一样。
She said, whoomp, whoomp, whoomp.
她说，呼呼，呼呼，呼呼。
Just stomps across the room.
只是跺脚穿过房间。
One Of The Hens No, Sally and I looked at each other.
一只母鸡 不，莎莉和我面面相觑。
We said, oh, no. We ran.
我们说，哦，不。我们跑了。
We left from there because I said I'm not-- we left.
我们从那里离开，因为我说过我不是——我们离开了。
That's the closest to a couple hens fighting.
这是最接近母鸡打架的场面。
But it wasn't funny at the time.
但当时这并不好笑。
But we get together now and we laugh about it.
但我们现在聚在一起，我们会笑起来。
There's a point where you guys are in the van and you got into this conversation about abortion that began when somebody was talking about these stories in the newspaper.
有一个时刻，你们在车里，开始了关于堕胎的对话，这个对话是在有人在报纸上谈论这些故事时开始的。
And there came a point in that conversation, Tiny, where you said, we were such brave souls to have our kids when we did.
在那次谈话中，蒂尼，你说，当我们有了孩子时，我们真是勇敢的灵魂。
Because most of you had your kids when you were teenagers.
因为你们大多数人在青少年时期都有自己的孩子。
Right.
正确的。
We all did.
我们都这么做了。
Ira Glass And then Barbara says-- she's kind of off mike.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）然后芭芭拉说——她有点不喜欢麦克。
You can barely hear it.
你几乎听不到。
She says, well not so brave.
她说，好吧，没那么勇敢。
I was seven months pregnant before told my father.
我在告诉父亲之前已经怀孕七个月了。
I never forget the look in daddy's face.
我永远不会忘记爸爸脸上的表情。
Whoo!
呼！
Boy I'm glad I made it through that!
男孩，我很高兴我成功了！
You know how daddy had that vein on his head that pops, and it started jumping.
你知道爸爸头上的静脉是如何突然爆裂并开始跳动的。
And he looked at me--
他看着我——
That's scary.
太可怕了。
Barbara And he said, whose is it?
芭芭拉 他说，这是谁的？
You know, momma worked at St. Luke Presbytarian Hospital.
你知道，妈妈在圣卢克长老会医院工作。
And she took me for her--
她把我当成了她——
We're not going to have the same amount of fun every time we get together because our lives are changing.
因为我们的生活正在发生变化，所以每次我们聚在一起时，我们不会有同样多的乐趣。
Like one time we sat around talking about getting old.
就像有一次我们坐在一起谈论变老。
We're realizing that, heck, we're getting older and there was health issues.
我们意识到，哎呀，我们正在变老，并且存在健康问题。
This year we had a serious issue we faced.
今年我们遇到了一个严重的问题。
We faced Tiny's father dying.
我们面临着蒂尼父亲的死亡。
But also, you knew him going back to when you were younger too.
而且，你小时候也认识他。
Yeah, Mr. [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
是的，[无法辨认]先生。
I was very scared of that man.
我非常害怕那个人。
A little before six.
六点前一点。
Ira Glass A little before six Friday.
艾拉·格拉斯 星期五六点前一点。
And describe the hotel.
并介绍一下酒店。
Beautiful.
美丽的。
One Of The Hens It was beautiful.
一只母鸡 它很漂亮。
It was like Vegas sitting in the middle of a cotton field.
就像维加斯坐落在棉花田中央。
Do your husbands have anything like this with their male friends?
你的老公和男性朋友之间有这样的事情吗？
We have tried to encourage it, but they never do.
我们试图鼓励它，但他们从来没有这样做。
They're real supportive now.
他们现在真的很支持。
We really had to go through a lot.
我们确实经历了很多。
And they do get crazy.
他们确实变得疯狂。
Like the closer we get to that departing time--
就像我们离出发的时间越近——
They come up with their little bitty things.
他们想出了一些小事。
Little things, little things that aggravate you.
小事，让你烦恼的小事。
But my husband has really gotten used to it.
不过我老公确实已经习惯了。
I'm thinking he's really gotten tired of me because he's-- remember when all came to pick me up.
我想他真的厌倦了我，因为他——记得所有人都来接我的时候。
He was just calm in the chair.
他只是坐在椅子上很平静。
And that's not like Dale.
这不像戴尔。
He's like, see you all.
他说，再见。
You all have a good time.
你们都玩得很开心。
John was the one.
约翰就是那个人。
Now this is my son.
现在这是我的儿子。
He calls me in the room.
他在房间里叫我。
Ma, I want to pray with you.
妈妈，我想和你一起祈祷。
I said, OK, John.
我说，好吧，约翰。
I just want to pray for your safe trip.
我只想祈祷你旅途平安。
I said, OK, John.
我说，好吧，约翰。
And he's holding my hand and he's praying.
他握着我的手，正在祈祷。
That was so funny.
那太有趣了。
One Of The Hens And I'm like, OK, John.
一只母鸡 我说，好吧，约翰。
You know, five minutes later he's still praying.
你知道，五分钟后他还在祈祷。
I'm like, OK, John.
我想，好吧，约翰。
Amen.
阿门。
Bye.
再见。
I got to get on my trip.
我得开始我的旅行了。
My Hens are waiting for me.
我的母鸡正在等我。
I have to deal with John now.
我现在必须对付约翰。
Ira Glass What would your husbands, what would they used to do?
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：你的丈夫会做什么？他们过去会做什么？
What'd they used to say when you were about to get to go on a trip.
当你准备去旅行时，他们会说什么？
When you coming back?
你什么时候回来？
One Of The Hens Can we say this on the radio?
一只母鸡 我们可以在广播中说这个吗？
Now, my other relationships could not deal with the Hens and we had to break up.
现在，我的其他关系无法与母鸡打交道，我们不得不分手。
We had to be lesbians.
我们必须是女同性恋。
One Of The Hens Seriously.
一只母鸡，认真地。
Yes.
是的。
And I broke up with-- Ira Glass That's what they would say, you're a bunch of lesbians?
我和—— Ira Glass 分手了 他们会这么说，你们是一群女同性恋？
They could not deal with the idea of women get together.
他们无法接受女性聚在一起的想法。
We're going to sleep together, you know?
我们要一起睡，你知道吗？
Because we have so many beds.
因为我们的床位实在是太多了。
Each room have a bed in it.
每个房间里都有一张床。
We're going to sleep together.
我们要一起睡。
Somebody's going to sleep with me that weekend.
那个周末有人会和我一起睡觉。
But the men in your lives, they must have their friends who they hang with?
但是你生活中的男人，他们一定有和他们在一起的朋友吗？
Yeah, they do.
是的，他们确实这么做了。
They do.
他们确实这么做了。
But they don't have the same kind of bond.
但他们没有同样的纽带。
You know, they got friends that they hang with.
你知道，他们有朋友。
I don't think men have the same kind of relationship that women have.
我认为男人与女人之间的关系不同。
Yeah, I think it's very much a women's thing.
是的，我认为这很大程度上是女性的事情。
Definitely a women's thing.
绝对是女人的事。
When I get with the Hens, I'm me.
当我和母鸡在一起时，我就是我。
I'm Tiny.
我是小小
You know, I don't have to be [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
你知道，我不必变得[难以理解]。
I don't have to be wife.
我不必成为妻子。
I don't have to be mother.
我不必成为母亲。
I'm not sitting up there flirting with anybody where I got to be a sexy broad.
我不会坐在那里与任何人调情，因为我必须是一个性感的女人。
I'm Tiny, naturally.
我自然是小小。
And anything that comes to my mind I can say it.
我想到的任何事情我都可以说出来。
And they're going to say, oh, is that how you think about it?
他们会说，哦，你就是这么想的吗？
Well I think this way and I like that input.
嗯，我是这样想的，而且我喜欢这种投入。
But it's a natural thing.
但这是很自然的事情。
Everybody in here [UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE].
这里的每个人[难以理解的短语]。
The Hens-- Tiny, Lynn and Jewel in the studio.
母鸡——Tiny、Lynn 和 Jewel 在工作室里。
Also, Barbara, Rosetta, Valerie, Sally, Tony and Jan.
还有芭芭拉、罗塞塔、瓦莱丽、莎莉、托尼和简。
This next song is the song that they always play driving home from their trips when they have to return to their husbands and kids and real life.
下一首歌曲是他们在旅行回家时必须回到丈夫、孩子和现实生活身边时总是播放的歌曲。
Act Four, Taking Sisterhood One Step Further.
第四幕，让姐妹情谊更进一步。
If you ask Elizabeth Joseph, it was the only reasonable choice to marry a man who was already married to five women.
如果你问伊丽莎白·约瑟夫，嫁给一个已经娶过五个女人的男人是唯一合理的选择。
She met her husband when she was a senior in college.
她在大学四年级时认识了她的丈夫。
Well, you look at somebody in my situation.
好吧，你看看和我处境相同的人。
I was almost 21 years old.
我当时快21岁了。
I could either marry somebody my own age and take another 10 years and finish the job of raising him, his mother started.
“我要么嫁给一个与我同龄的人，然后再花十年时间完成抚养他的工作，”他的母亲开始说道。
Or I could marry a proven failure and I practice divorce law.
或者我可以嫁给一个被证明失败的人，然后我执行离婚法。
I know there's all kinds of wonderful excuses for divorce, but by definition it's a failure.
我知道离婚有各种各样的美妙借口，但从定义上来说，这是失败的。
Or I could have found myself somebody who had proven himself to be a good husband, but maybe I didn't want to marry a 65-year-old widower.
或者我本可以找一个已经证明自己是个好丈夫的人，但也许我不想嫁给一个 65 岁的鳏夫。
So in Alex, there was no gamble.
所以在亚历克斯身上，没有赌博。
He was demonstrably a good husband, demonstrably a good father.
事实证明，他是一个好丈夫，一个好父亲。
So there was little risk to the situation.
因此，这种情况几乎没有风险。
Elizabeth Joseph is as an attorney and now public affairs director of a radio station in Utah.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫是一名律师，现任犹他州一家广播电台的公共事务总监。
We offer her story as part of our show as another example in the continuum of how to be a woman or a girl.
我们将她的故事作为我们节目的一部分，作为如何成为女人或女孩的连续体中的另一个例子。
She says that because she was in a polygamist marriage, she could do things like go off to law school and finish school and not have to worry who was taking care of the kids or her husband.
她说，因为她处于一夫多妻制婚姻中，所以她可以做一些事情，比如去法学院读书并完成学业，而不必担心谁来照顾孩子或她的丈夫。
There were other wives around for that.
周围还有其他妻子。
In short, she says, polygamy is the ultimate feminist lifestyle.
简而言之，她说，一夫多妻制是最终的女权主义生活方式。
It's having a man on your own terms.
就是有一个按照你自己的意愿的男人。
You know, he's in your bed.
你知道，他在你床上。
He's in your house at your invitation.
他应你的邀请来到你家。
The juggling act that so many women have to put on with respect to careers and family is so much relieved in our situation because there are so many of us to share those kinds of household duties and child rearing and husband taking care of.
许多女性必须在事业和家庭方面兼顾，但在我们的情况下，我们感到非常轻松，因为我们中有很多人分担家务、抚养孩子和照顾丈夫。
So I'm able to go to work with a guilt free heart and child never sees the inside of a daycare center or anything like that.
所以我能够带着无负罪感去上班，孩子永远不会看到日托中心或类似的东西的内部。
They're home with people who care about them.
他们和关心他们的人在一起。
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass And how many of the wives actually stay home?
Ira Glass：有多少妻子实际上呆在家里？
Do all of them work?
它们都有效吗？
Do just some of them work?
只有其中一些有效吗？
Yeah, we all work.
是的，我们都工作。
We all work.
我们都工作。
About nine years ago three of us had babies all in the same year and there was one wife in particular that we really wanted to watch out for the kids while we were at work.
大约九年前，我们三个人在同一年生了孩子，特别是有一个妻子，我们真的很想在工作时照顾孩子。
And so we went to her and said how much is it going to take to get you to quit your job for a couple of years til the kids go to school?
所以我们去找她，问你要花多少钱才能让你辞去工作几年，直到孩子们上学？
So she did that for us.
所以她为我们做到了这一点。
Then she went back to work.
然后她就回去工作了。
And when you say, how much would it take you, did the rest of you pay her?
当你说，你要花多少钱时，你们其他人付给她了吗？
Wow.
哇。
Elizabeth Joseph It was only fair, she was working hard.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫 这很公平，她工作很努力。
So when you first met your husband, had you been considering polygamy as an option?
那么，当您第一次见到您的丈夫时，您是否考虑过一夫多妻制作为一种选择？
Oh, only very recently because a friend of his had proposed to me also.
哦，直到最近，因为他的一个朋友也向我求婚了。
But no, I didn't even know it existed when I was in college until I met my husband and his friend.
但不，在我上大学的时候，我什至不知道它的存在，直到我遇到了我的丈夫和他的朋友。
I had no idea anybody was doing it modernly.
我不知道有人在现代这样做。
I was aware of the LDS history of the last century.
我知道上个世纪摩门教徒的历史。
The Mormon church, the Latter Day Saints Church?
摩门教、后期圣徒教会？
And when you met him, he was already married to five women at that point, right?
当你见到他时，他已经和五个女人结婚了，对吗？
Correct.
正确的。
Ira Glass How did a courtship happen?
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 求爱是如何发生的？
Like what actually happened?
就像实际发生的事情一样？
Well, we were separated by a thousand miles.
好吧，我们相隔一千英里。
He proposed by letter.
他通过信函求婚。
And I flew down and spent my spring break my senior year with him and his family.
我飞下来，和他和他的家人一起度过了大四的春假。
He had married two of my best friends from college.
他娶了我大学时最好的两个朋友。
So I came I thought as much to see them as him.
所以我来了，我和他一样想见见他们。
But I just needed to check out the situation.
但我只是想看看情况。
And I went home married.
然后我就结婚回家了。
What did your family say?
你的家人怎么说？
Elizabeth Joseph They were understandably upset.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫 他们很沮丧，这是可以理解的。
My dad was very educated, but a Montana cowboy and he told my brothers to get their rifles and they were coming after me.
我父亲受过很好的教育，但他是蒙大拿州的牛仔，他告诉我的兄弟们拿起步枪，他们就来追我了。
Wow.
哇。
Elizabeth Joseph My mother's a very educated, smart women and she was heartbroken, but she wasn't willing to give the association with her only daughter to maintain a point.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫：我的母亲是一位受过良好教育、聪明的女性，她伤心欲绝，但她不愿意为了维持一点而与她唯一的女儿发生联系。
Can I ask you to just explain kind of the practical terms of it?
我可以请您解释一下它的实际术语吗？
Like does everybody live in separate houses?
就像每个人都住在不同的房子里一样吗？
Does everybody live in the same house?
大家都住在同一所房子里吗？
How often do you see Alex?
你多久见一次亚历克斯？
I see Alex every day for sure.
我肯定每天都能见到亚历克斯。
Structurally, I have a home that I share with another wife just because it's so huge.
从结构上讲，我有一个与另一位妻子共享的家，因为它太大了。
But Margaret has her own place, Beau has our own place, Joanna has her own place.
但玛格丽特有她自己的地方，博有我们自己的地方，乔安娜有她自己的地方。
But we're all right close together.
但我们关系很好。
It's not like if he's at Diane and [?
这不像他在黛安和[？
Don's ?] house, I walk right in the front door and make myself at home.
唐？] 的房子，我径直走进前门，感觉就像在家里一样。
I mean, we enjoy each other's company.
我的意思是，我们很享受彼此的陪伴。
Margaret likes to say that he's more fun when there's more than one of us just because that's his nature.
玛格丽特喜欢说，当我们不止一个人时，他会更有趣，因为这是他的天性。
And yeah, there's three of us that have anniversaries real close together and it's a longstanding tradition for the four of us to go out to dinner together near those anniversary.
是的，我们三个人的周年纪念日非常接近，我们四个人在周年纪念日附近一起出去吃饭是一个长期的传统。
You know, the family spends a lot of time together.
你知道，一家人在一起度过了很多时间。
The kids are very fond of one another from the different mothers.
来自不同母亲的孩子们彼此非常喜爱。
So how many kids are there in the family?
那么家里有几个孩子呢？
And then, how often will he actually stay with you if I can ask you questions that personal.
然后，如果我可以问你一些私人问题，他实际上会多久和你在一起一次。
Yeah, we actually stay with him.
是的，我们实际上和他在一起。
He's got his own quarters.
他有自己的宿舍。
But over the years it's varied.
但多年来情况发生了变化。
When I was 20 I had one kind of sexual appetite and now that I'm in my-- I hate to say this-- mid 40s, it's a little different.
当我 20 岁时，我有一种性欲，而现在我——我不想这么说——40 多岁了，情况有点不同了。
But in talking to my monogamous friends, I have that kind of exchange with him as often or more often than they do.
但在与我的一夫一妻制朋友交谈时，我与他的这种交流与他们一样频繁，甚至比他们更频繁。
You know, roughly average once a week.
你知道，大约平均每周一次。
It just depends.
这只是取决于。
I've heard Mormon men talk about polygamy and talking about the advantage of it as being this.
我听摩门教徒谈论一夫多妻制，并谈论它的好处就是这样。
They say that there's certain things that a woman looks to a man for in terms of wanting to talk about things and wanting to be close regarding certain kinds of issues and have a certain kind of close friendship that a lot of men just they don't talk that way.
他们说，女人向男人寻求某些东西，比如想要谈论一些事情，想要在某些问题上保持亲密关系，并拥有某种亲密的友谊，但很多男人不会那样说话。
They don't relate to other people that way.
他们不会以这种方式与其他人交往。
And so one of the advantages of polygamy is that the women, the wives, can get that from the other wives.
因此，一夫多妻制的优点之一是，女性，即妻子，可以从其他妻子那里得到这一点。
That's one of the huge advantages.
这是巨大的优势之一。
That's a really nice thing.
这真是一件好事。
I mean, some of our funnest times have been when he's been like on a business trip and we'll get together and have a tequila party or something and just laugh our heads off.
我的意思是，我们最有趣的时光就是当他出差时，我们会聚在一起开龙舌兰酒派对什么的，然后开怀大笑。
Just have a good time.
祝你玩得开心。
Because the way the wives feel about one another is we're just extraordinarily proud of one another.
因为妻子们对彼此的感觉就是我们为彼此感到无比自豪。
We're extremely proud to be associated with one another.
我们非常自豪能够彼此合作。
And we've had women come into the situation and look into it.
我们让女性介入并调查此事。
And we didn't like them, and we got rid of them.
我们不喜欢它们，所以我们摆脱了它们。
We're women.
我们是女人。
We're good at it.
我们很擅长。
Do you have some sort of veto power over whether a woman actually gets to marry in?
你对一个女人是否真的结婚有某种否决权吗？
It's de facto, OK?
这是事实，好吗？
The rule is he'll marry whom he pleases.
规则是他想娶谁就娶谁。
But he has learned over the years that if we don't like them, his relationship with them is going nowhere.
但多年来他已经了解到，如果我们不喜欢他们，他和他们的关系就毫无进展。
So we've chased off our share.
所以我们已经赶走了我们的份额。
And do people get jealous?
人们会嫉妒吗？
Do you get jealous?
你嫉妒吗？
Well, you know, us American girls are raised to be very insecure and jealous.
嗯，你知道，我们美国女孩从小就被教育得非常没有安全感和嫉妒心。
Neither of which is a trait that you would want to embrace.
这两种特质都不是你想要接受的。
So in the early years I think as with any marriage, it takes a while to feel your way and get that security established.
因此，我认为在早年，就像任何婚姻一样，需要一段时间来摸索并建立安全感。
And yeah, there were times when I'd go well, why-- gee, you know, I can see way he likes Margaret.
是的，有时候我进展顺利，为什么——哎呀，你知道，我看得出来他很喜欢玛格丽特。
She does that so well and I don't.
她在这方面做得很好，而我则不然。
But then after a while you go, yeah, but look what I do that Margaret doesn't.
但过了一会儿你就会发现，是的，但是看看我做了什么玛格丽特没有做的事情。
And he does that.
他就是这么做的。
That's his job is to give you that security that he loves you for what you are.
他的工作就是给你安全感，让你知道他爱你本来的样子。
And 25 years into this deal and we've sort of got it down pat.
这笔交易已经进行了 25 年，我们已经把它牢牢地掌握在手中了。
We're not too threatened at all.
我们根本没有受到太多威胁。
Is this something that you think should be widely recommended to people?
您认为这是应该向人们广泛推荐的东西吗？
Or do you feel like that you are just in a special situation with a special man and it's not applicable to other people's lives?
或者你是否觉得你只是在一个特殊的情况下和一个特殊的男人在一起，这并不适用于其他人的生活？
It's only a certain kind of people.
这只是某一类人。
For example, I had a son who he had a family.
例如，我有一个儿子，他有一个家庭。
And I have a son.
我有一个儿子。
But anyway, a girl came to him who'd grown up in our community and she said what I said.
但无论如何，一个在我们社区长大的女孩来找他，她说了我说的话。
You're obviously a good father and husband.
显然你是一个好父亲和好丈夫。
Can I marry you?
我可以嫁给你吗？
And he really liked this girl.
而且他真的很喜欢这个女孩。
But he was blown away.
但他被震撼了。
He goes, I don't know if I can do this.
他走了，我不知道我是否能做到这一点。
And of course I knew him very well, my son.
当然，我非常了解他，我的儿子。
I said, Stewart, you're one of the few guys I think can.
我说，斯图尔特，你是我认为可以做到的少数几个人之一。
And he lasted like two months.
他持续了大约两个月。
And why do you think it didn't work for him?
为什么你认为这对他不起作用？
Well, usually two wives is very difficult.
嗯，通常两个妻子是很困难的。
You really need a third to balance it out.
你真的需要第三个来平衡它。
But usually, the most common scenario is the two women will gang up on the guy.
但通常情况下，最常见的情况是两个女人联合起来对付那个男人。
But you're thinking like 1 out of 10 men that you know could do it or like it's more m 1 out a 100?
但你认为你认识的人中有十分之一可以做到这一点，或者是 100 人中只有 1 人能做到？
More like 1 out of 1,000, if not 10,000.
即使不是一万，也更像是千分之一。
Wow.
哇。
Elizabeth Joseph It's not easy.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫 这并不容易。
That's why most of his boys will tell you they wouldn't entertain it because they know how difficult it is.
这就是为什么他的大多数男孩会告诉你他们不会接受它，因为他们知道这有多困难。
Because they watch their dad do it.
因为他们看着他们的父亲这样做。
And the main difficulty is just keeping everybody satisfied and happy?
主要的困难是让每个人都满意和快乐吗？
Well, yeah.
嗯，是的。
You got to be way smart.
你必须很聪明。
Like he says, how would you like eight women working your inventory 24 hours a day we?
就像他说的，您希望八位女性每天 24 小时为您的库存工作吗？
And we do.
我们确实这么做了。
We do.
我们做到了。
We're strong willed, independent, say what we think.
我们意志坚强，独立，说出我们的想法。
I haven't met anybody that could do what Alex has done.
我还没有遇到任何人可以做到亚历克斯所做的事情。
I've met polygamists, long-term polygamists, who I admire and respect for what they've done.
我遇到过一夫多妻制者，长期的一夫多妻制者，我钦佩并尊重他们所做的事情。
But in terms of demonstration, it doesn't come anything close to his family.
但就示范而言，这与他的家人相差甚远。
Elizabeth Joseph in Utah.
伊丽莎白·约瑟夫在犹他州。
Credits Ira Glass Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org where you can listen to our programs for absolutely free or buy CDs of them.
感谢 Ira Glass 我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的节目或购买这些节目的 CD。
Or you know you can download today's program in our archives at audible.com/thisamericanlife.
或者您知道可以在我们的档案库中下载今天的节目：audible.com/thisamericanlife。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] Ira Glass WBEZ management oversight from Mr. Torey Malatia who says that from now on he wants to be called-
[资金来源] Ira Glass WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 先生监督，他说从现在开始他希望被称为-
Ghetto hoochie mama.
贫民区胡奇妈妈。
Ira Glass Or perhaps you would prefer--
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）或者也许你更喜欢——
Booty house girl.
战利品之家的女孩。
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of this American life.
Ira Glass 我是 Ira Glass，下周回来，带来更多有关美国生活的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。