94: How To - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #94 | June 11, 1999 94: How To Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 94 集 | 1999 年 6 月 11 日 94：如何注意：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass It's a how-to manual, just six pages long, written by a sixth grader in Brooklyn named Peter.
序言 Ira Glass 这是一本操作手册，只有六页长，由布鲁克林一位名叫彼得的六年级学生撰写。
He handed it in to his teacher three years ago.
三年前他把它交给了老师。
She still has it.
她仍然拥有它。
I keep it on my bulletin board by my refrigerator in case-- both for amusement and also in case I ever need to consult it.
我把它放在冰箱旁边的布告栏上，以防万一——既是为了娱乐，也是为了以防万一我需要查阅它。
The manual gives step-by-step instructions on how to protect yourself from all sorts of unwanted visitors, that's all sorts of unwanted visitors says the teacher, Melissa Cantor.
该手册提供了如何保护自己免受各种不受欢迎的访客侵害的分步说明，老师梅丽莎·坎托 (Melissa Cantor) 说，这就是各种不受欢迎的访客。
There are a number of them.
其中有很多。
The first is the Wolfman.
第一个是狼人。
Then come aliens.
然后外星人来了。
Then there's one which is kind of a subtle digression, but it's along the same lines.
还有一个有点微妙的题外话，但大致思路是一样的。
It's if you have a bad dream.
如果你做了一个恶梦。
Which, in a way, is an unwanted visitor.
从某种程度上来说，这是一个不速之客。
It so is.
确实如此。
Really.
真的。
It really is.
确实如此。
And the final one is dinosaurs.
最后一种是恐龙。
If you have an unwanted visitor dinosaur?
如果您有不受欢迎的恐龙访客？
Right.
正确的。
Ira Glass The chapter on the Wolfman begins with this little pep talk.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）关于狼人的章节以这个小小的鼓舞人心的谈话开始。
"First think," it says, "why would the Wolfman come to your house out of all the houses in Brooklyn?" But if you're afraid, here's what you do.
“首先想一想，”它说，“为什么狼人会从布鲁克林的所有房屋中来到你家？”但如果你害怕，这就是你要做的。
Number one, sleep with a glass with water in it.
第一，睡觉时喝一杯水。
Number two, Peter tells you to close the blinds, get under the covers, put a fan on.
第二，彼得告诉你关上百叶窗，躲到被窝里，打开风扇。
Number three, "if he comes in, put covers over your whole body.
第三，“如果他进来，把你的全身都盖上。
Don't move."
别动。”
Exactly.
确切地。
This is what to do if a Wolfman with a low IQ comes to your house.
如果一个低智商的狼人来到你家，这就是你应该做的事情。
"Four, if you want the satisfaction of killing him, take the glass and splash the water in his face." Then it switches.
“四，如果你想要杀了他的满足感，就拿起杯子，把水泼到他脸上。”然后它就会切换。
It says, B.
它说，B.
Wait, we've gone from one, two, three, four, and now we're going B, C, D?
等等，我们已经从一、二、三、四变成了 B、C、D？
Right.
正确的。
Ira Glass What's interesting is that one instinctively knows, even in the sixth grade, that if there's going to be a how-to, there are going to have to be steps and substeps.
Ira Glass 有趣的是，即使在六年级，人们也本能地知道，如果有指导，就必须有步骤和子步骤。
Yes.
是的。
I think in sixth grade-- I don't know if this is a digression or not.
我想在六年级——我不知道这是不是题外话。
It is a digression.
这是一个题外话。
Can I digress, or should I stick to the text?
我可以离题吗，还是应该继续看正文？
No, no, no. Digress away.
不，不，不。离题了。
Melissa Cantor In sixth grade, I think there's a general sense of kind of that the universe has an order, and they know a few key terms that guide that order.
梅丽莎·坎托 (Melissa Cantor) 在六年级时，我认为人们普遍认为宇宙是有秩序的，而且他们知道一些指导该秩序的关键术语。
But some of the specifics sort of escape them.
但有些具体细节他们却忽略了。
So for example, I had a sixth grader who wrote a story, and I knew it was a very, very steamy story, because when he went to give it to me, he was surrounded by all of his friends who were kind of giggling madly and sort of quite shocked that he gave it to me and then raced out of the room.
举个例子，我有一个六年级的学生写了一个故事，我知道这是一个非常非常火爆的故事，因为当他把它交给我时，他周围都是他所有的朋友，他们都疯狂地咯咯笑，对他把它交给我然后跑出房间感到非常震惊。
And the story involved a man and a woman who were having a romantic evening in front of the fire.
这个故事讲述了一个男人和一个女人在火炉前度过了一个浪漫的夜晚。
And there was soft music playing.
还有轻柔的音乐在播放。
And finally, to show that this was truly a romantic evening, the man takes a bottle of white wine-- it was very clear, white wine that they had been drinking-- and pours it all over the woman, which is I guess a sign that this is amorous.
最后，为了表明这确实是一个浪漫的夜晚，男人拿了一瓶白葡萄酒——非常清澈，是他们喝过的白葡萄酒——倒在女人身上，我想这是多情的标志。
The kid had the props right-- the fire, the soft music, the wine.
这孩子准备好了道具——火、轻柔的音乐、酒。
He just wasn't clear on how everything fit together, which, in a way, happens all through this how-to.
他只是不清楚一切是如何组合在一起的，在某种程度上，这在整个操作方法中都会发生。
It's a hodgepodge.
这是一个大杂烩。
The dinosaur advice has images lifted straight from Jurassic Park .
恐龙建议的图像直接来自侏罗纪公园。
The Wolfman section has one practical piece of advice taken, really, from any middle-class dinner table in Brooklyn.
《狼人》部分有一条实用的建议，实际上是取自布鲁克林任何中产阶级餐桌上的。
"After you kill the Wolfman," it says, "if you think your mom will get mad from all the blood, take seltzer and paper towels and pat it.
“杀死狼人后，”上面写着，“如果你认为你妈妈会因为流血而生气，那就拿苏打水和纸巾拍拍它。
Then scrub."
然后擦洗。”
Why do you think he did this as a how-to?
你认为他为什么这样做？
What is it about the how-to form that would be so attractive?
怎样的表格会如此有吸引力？
I think that the how-to form makes it seem like the world will follow certain rules.
我认为这种方法形式使得世界看起来会遵循一定的规则。
And if you follow certain rules, you'll be safe.
如果您遵守某些规则，您就会安全。
And it puts it, I think, in your control.
我认为，这一切都在你的掌控之中。
Because obviously, you have no control over whether or not the Wolfman or aliens come to your house.
因为显然，你无法控制狼人或外星人是否来到你家。
The how-to form.
如何形成。
It's ingrained in us.
它在我们心中根深蒂固。
It's part of what we are, how we make sense of the universe.
这是我们的一部分，也是我们理解宇宙的方式的一部分。
Consider this story.
考虑一下这个故事。
In 1696, in England, the law changed, and suddenly people in England could publish whatever they wanted without getting it approved first by the king and his censor.
1696 年，英国的法律发生了变化，突然之间，英国人可以发布任何他们想要的内容，而无需先得到国王和他的审查员的批准。
And so there was this explosion of publishing.
于是出版业出现了爆炸式增长。
And within just a few decades, the single most popular kind of book, as soon as people could sell and buy any kind of books they chose, these were how-to books.
在短短几十年内，最受欢迎的一类书籍，一旦人们可以出售和购买他们选择的任何类型的书籍，这些都是指导书籍。
In particular, how-to books written to teach people, mostly women, how, through education, self-control, and hard work, any family could better itself, could enter what we come to think of now as the middle class.
特别是那些指导人们（主要是女性）的指导书籍，告诉人们如何通过教育、自我控制和努力工作，让任何家庭变得更好，进入我们现在所认为的中产阶级。
And here's where it gets interesting.
这就是有趣的地方。
The advice books on how to become middle class came before the existence of an actual middle class.
关于如何成为中产阶级的建议书早在真正的中产阶级出现之前就出现了。
People followed the how-to instructions, bettered themselves, and the middle class emerged.
人们遵循操作说明，提高自己，中产阶级出现了。
We would not be who we are today without how-to.
如果没有如何做，我们就不会成为今天的我们。
There's a straight line from those 18th century books of personal betterment to every Tony Robbins infomercial, every Jane Fonda workout video, every Martha Stewart magazine article-- stuff that gives you both step-by-step instructions and a motivational dream, a dream that you can transform yourself into a different person.
从那些 18 世纪的个人进步书籍到每一部托尼·罗宾斯的电视广告、每一个简·方达的健身视频、每一篇玛莎·斯图尔特杂志文章，都有一条直线——这些东西既给你逐步的指导，又给你一个激励性的梦想，一个你可以把自己变成另一个人的梦想。
Which brings us to today's show.
这让我们看到了今天的节目。
Each week on our program, of course we choose theme and bring you a variety of different stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同故事。
Today's show, how-to's, and what happens during a how-to, and what our how-to's say about us.
今天的节目，介绍操作方法，操作方法期间会发生什么，以及我们的操作方法对我们的介绍。
Act One of today's show, Roadrunner, in which I teach one of our regular contributors, Sarah Vowell, how to drive, and I find out that a simple how-to is never as simple as you think.
今天的节目《Roadrunner》的第一幕中，我教我们的一位定期撰稿人莎拉·沃威尔 (Sarah Vowell) 如何驾驶，我发现简单的操作方法绝不会像您想象的那么简单。
Act Two, How to Date a Blackgirl, Browngirl, Whitegirl, or Halfie.
第二幕，如何与黑人女孩、棕色女孩、白人女孩或半人约会。
Junot Diaz explains what to do with the government-issued cheese in the refrigerator when you bring a date over to the house.
朱诺·迪亚兹（Junot Diaz）解释了当你带约会对象到家里时如何处理冰箱里政府发放的奶酪。
Act Three, How to Increase Your Value as a Person, an act in which we try to tackle the biggest possible how-to we could think of, how to make your life worth more.
第三幕，如何增加你作为一个人的价值，在这一幕中，我们试图解决我们能想到的最大可能的问题，如何让你的生活更有价值。
And we get answers, real practical answers.
我们得到了答案，真正实用的答案。
Stay with this.
坚持下去。
Act One, Roadrunner.
第一幕，走鹃。
We don't even agree on where this story begins.
我们甚至不同意这个故事从哪里开始。
As far as I was concerned, it was just another how-to story.
就我而言，这只是另一个如何做的故事。
Our contributing editor Sarah Vowell wanted to learn how to drive, and I would teach her in two quick lessons.
我们的特约编辑莎拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell）想学习如何开车，我会教她两节快速课程。
For me, it wasn't even about driving.
对我来说，这甚至与驾驶无关。
It was about fear.
这是关于恐惧。
Nothing scares me more than driving.
没有什么比开车更让我害怕的了。
Nothing.
没有什么。
I can't even ride a bike without mangling my digits and hitting parked cars.
我什至不能骑自行车而不弄伤我的手指并撞上停放的汽车。
I've always been terrified that I'd get behind the wheel and it would be a big Shangri-La song with people screaming, "Look out!
我一直很害怕我开车时会听到一首香格里拉大歌，人们尖叫着：“小心！
Look out!
当心！
Look out!
当心！
Look out!" Somehow I didn't mention this to Ira before we began.
当心！”不知怎的，在我们开始之前我没有向艾拉提到这一点。
And this, I think, is how it usually goes with any how-to.
我认为，这就是任何操作方法通常的搭配方式。
A how-to seems like the most rational, orderly thing in the world.
指导似乎是世界上最理性、最有秩序的事情。
You know you do step one.
你知道你做了第一步。
You do step two, step three.
你执行第二步、第三步。
Follow the diagram and instructions.
按照图表和说明进行操作。
Before you know it, creme brulee or the toy train set is assembled, or you're a more effective, convincing public speaker, whatever.
在你不知不觉中，焦糖布丁或玩具火车套装已经组装完毕，或者你是一个更有效、更有说服力的公共演讲者，等等。
But in fact, the logical step-by-step process is just a veneer of civilization cutting the vast paranoia that is not knowing, and the process of learning itself, which is inherently irrational, which brings us to the car guys.
但事实上，逻辑上一步步的过程只是文明的一个表象，切割了不知道的巨大偏执，而学习的过程本身本质上是非理性的，这把我们带到了汽车人身上。
Tom and Ray?
汤姆和雷？
Ray Magliozzi Yeah, who's this?
雷·马格利奥齐 是的，这是谁？
Is this Ira?
这是伊拉吗？
How are you guys doing?
你们好吗？
Tom Magliozzi We're doing great.
汤姆·马格利奥齐 我们做得很好。
What's up, man?
怎么了，伙计？
These of course, are Tom and Ray Magliozzi, hosts of NPR's Car Talk .
当然，他们就是 NPR 汽车谈话节目的主持人 Tom 和 Ray Magliozzi。
I called them up to ask for practical advice on how to teach Sarah how to drive.
我打电话给他们，询问如何教莎拉开车的实用建议。
There isn't one person in 20,000 that knows the correct way to take a left turn.
两万人中没有一个人知道左转的正确方法。
The rule simply is, you continue in the lane you're driving in until you get into what is the right lane of the lane you're turning to, right?
规则很简单，你继续在你正在行驶的车道上行驶，直到你进入你要转向的车道的右车道，对吗？
Now what happens when a car is coming in the other direction which also wants to take a left turn?
现在，如果一辆车从另一个方向驶来并且也想左转，会发生什么情况？
Got it?
知道了？
Yeah, got it.
是的，明白了。
Ira Glass What was I thinking?
艾拉·格拉斯 我在想什么？
Tom and Ray articulated rules of the road so obscure that no one actually follows them.
汤姆和雷制定的交通规则如此晦涩难懂，以至于没有人真正遵守它们。
And there's not one driver in 50,000 who conforms to that rule.
五万名司机中没有一个遵守这一规则。
Wait a second.
等一下。
And you're saying that I should teach her this way and not the way that every driver in America does it?
你是说我应该这样教她，而不是像美国每个司机那样教她？
No, you should teach her the way that every driver does it because she'll be assassinated her first day out.
不，你应该教她每个司机都会做的事情，因为她第一天就会被暗杀。
[LAUGHS] Yeah, boy.
[笑]是的，孩子。
Ira Glass No useful tips on steering or shifting or traffic, but the sages of Car Talk Plaza did have one prediction about what happens when you teach someone to drive.
Ira Glass 没有关于转向、换档或交通的有用提示，但 Car Talk Plaza 的智者确实对教某人开车时会发生什么有一个预测。
You have to be aware that things in your nature that you heretofore have kept secret from the entire world will be divulged to this person.
你必须意识到，你本性中迄今为止一直对全世界保密的事情将会泄露给这个人。
Now wait a second.
现在等一下。
Are you giving me this advice out of personal experience on either of your part?
您给我这个建议是根据你们的个人经验吗？
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Ray Magliozzi Absolutely.
雷·马格利奥齐 绝对的。
Keep us posted, Ira.
请随时通知我们，艾拉。
And I look forward every Friday to hearing you on that science show that you work for.
我期待着每周五在你工作的科学节目中听到你的声音。
Oh, boy.
哦，男孩。
Sarah Vowell When people ask me why I don't drive, I usually say, my sister drives.
莎拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell） 当人们问我为什么不开车时，我通常会说，我姐姐开车。
And to most people, that sounds like such a loony idea.
对于大多数人来说，这听起来像是一个疯狂的想法。
But my sister and I are twins, and when you're a twin, there can be a very clear division of labor.
但我和姐姐是双胞胎，当你是双胞胎的时候，就可以有非常明确的分工。
I did the mental things.
我做了精神上的事情。
She did the physical ones.
她做了身体上的事情。
I learned to read before she did.
我比她先学会了读书。
She learned to ride a bike years before I did.
她比我早几年学会骑自行车。
Driving was her jurisdiction.
开车是她的职责。
Criticizing her driving was mine.
批评她的驾驶是我的。
After one humiliating attempt to learn when I was 16, I simply blocked the possibility out of my mind.
16 岁时，我经历了一次羞辱性的学习尝试，之后我干脆将这种可能性排除在外。
I'm never going to drive, like I'm never going to murder anyone, like I'm never going to like Celine Dion.
我永远不会开车，就像我永远不会谋杀任何人，就像我永远不会喜欢席琳迪翁一样。
It was that huge.
就是那么大。
So it comes the day when Sarah's supposed to go down to the Department of Motor Vehicles to get her learner's permit.
因此，莎拉应该去机动车辆管理局领取学习许可证的那一天到来了。
And she stops by, and I'm still thinking that we're just doing this little radio story, not realizing that, in fact, this is her greatest phobia.
她停下来，我仍然认为我们只是在做这个小广播故事，没有意识到，事实上，这是她最大的恐惧症。
And I notice that she has this look on her face that I can only describe as pre-throw up, as she nervously flips through a copy of the Illinois state driving rules.
当她紧张地翻阅伊利诺伊州驾驶规则的副本时，我注意到她脸上的表情我只能形容为呕吐前的表情。
So the second I opened it-- and this has been going on for days, you know.
所以当我打开它的时候——你知道，这种情况已经持续了好几天了。
The second I opened it, I have been extremely anxious.
当我打开它的那一刻，我就非常着急。
It was like opening it up, boom.
就像打开它一样，繁荣。
I was another person.
我是另一个人。
I had just been tapping my fingers and nervous.
我刚刚敲着手指，很紧张。
It's like I just had 12 gallons of coffee.
就像我刚刚喝了 12 加仑咖啡一样。
Am I sounding completely nervous and out of control and scared?
我听起来是不是完全紧张、失控、害怕？
Yeah.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Sarah Vowell Good.
莎拉·沃威尔 好。
I'm communicating that.
我正在传达这一点。
You don't believe in your heart that you can actually control a car.
你内心并不相信你能真正控制一辆车。
Nope.
没有。
Ira Glass But that's the part that you're going to learn through this process.
Ira Glass：但这就是您将通过此过程学习的部分。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I just feel like this just isn't about me.
我只是觉得这不关我的事。
This is for the car class.
这是针对汽车类的。
Ira Glass What are you talking about?
艾拉·格拉斯 你在说什么？
The car class is a specific class of people whom the American world is set up for.
汽车阶层是美国世界为之设立的特定阶层。
The car class in the elite.
汽车级别中的精英。
The car class is the upper class.
汽车等级为上等。
The car class has all the power, makes all the rules.
汽车类拥有所有的权力，制定所有的规则。
The car class occasionally throws a few dimes of taxes our way so that the non-car class can get places on the train.
汽车类偶尔会向我们征收几毛钱的税，以便非汽车类可以在火车上获得席位。
I mean, the car class burns fossil fuels.
我的意思是，汽车类燃烧化石燃料。
The car class, you know--
汽车级别，你知道——
So you feel like the fact that I'm encouraging you-- like that you'll feel good if you can drive-- you just feel like--
所以你感觉我在鼓励你——就像如果你会开车你会感觉很好——你只是感觉——
One of us.
我们中的一员。
One of us.
我们中的一员。
Listening back to that conversation now, I am pained.
现在回想起那段对话，我心痛不已。
I don't know who that humorless fanatic was.
我不知道那个毫无幽默感的狂热分子是谁。
Though in my defense, I was grasping for any reason to get out of this driving mistake.
尽管在我的辩护中，我无论如何都想摆脱这个驾驶错误。
Let me assure you that I care about fossil fuels precisely as much as everyone else in America, which is to say not at all.
让我向你保证，我和美国其他人一样关心化石燃料，也就是说根本不关心。
I told you what was my biggest fear.
我告诉过你我最大的恐惧是什么。
You have to tell me yours.
你必须告诉我你的。
So Sarah passes the test to get a learner's permit.
因此，莎拉通过了考试，获得了学习许可证。
I rent a car, and we head out to an elementary school parking lot.
我租了一辆车，然后前往小学停车场。
OK.
好的。
What do I do?
我该怎么办？
Should my feet be touching those pedals?
我的脚应该接触那些踏板吗？
They should be able to.
他们应该能够。
So what you want to do is first you want to just get situated and adjust the mirrors and the seat.
因此，您要做的就是首先找到位置并调整镜子和座椅。
So push up the seat.
所以把座位推高。
Good.
好的。
I was asking a lot of questions, not just because I wanted to know, but because I was stalling.
我问了很多问题，不仅仅是因为我想知道，而是因为我在拖延。
She asked about the mirror, as if reflective glass was this crazy, newfangled gadget.
她问起了镜子，好像反光玻璃就是这个疯狂的新奇玩意。
What you want to see is kind of like the side of the car just a little bit, and then you want to see what's next to the car.
你想看到的是有点像汽车的侧面，然后你想看看汽车旁边有什么。
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass This is the thing about a how-to.
Ira Glass 这是关于操作方法的内容。
You find yourself explaining things, putting words into sentences that you never imagined you would ever be doing.
你发现自己正在解释事情，将单词放入你从未想象过的句子中。
After more stalling than we can possibly recount here on the radio, there was no avoiding the moment I'd been dreading since I was 15.
在经历了比我们在广播中所能描述的更多的停滞之后，我无法避免自 15 岁起就一直害怕的那一刻。
I want to just give it a little bit of gas.
我只想给它一点气体。
I want you to be mindful there's only one car in this parking lot.
我希望你注意这个停车场只有一辆车。
I don't want us to hit it.
我不想让我们撞到它。
So do that.
所以就这么做吧。
You're going to keep going to the right.
你将继续向右走。
I want you to just give it a little bit of gas.
我希望你给它一点点汽油。
[LAUGHS] Ira Glass Let's just say that we just kind of lurched forward like one of those scenes in Star Trek where they're hit by a spaceship.
[笑] Ira Glass 这么说吧，我们只是像《星际迷航》中被宇宙飞船击中的场景一样向前倾斜。
And then we drove in circles.
然后我们就开车兜圈子。
Literally, circles.
顾名思义，就是圈子。
And it was a surprisingly nonverbal kind of how-to.
令人惊讶的是，这是一种非语言的指导方法。
Mostly I just watched while Sarah got a feel for the car's controls, how much spin on the steering wheel actually turned the car, how much pressure on the gas pedal yielded how much speed.
大多数时候，我只是看着莎拉感受一下汽车的控制装置，方向盘上的旋转量实际上使汽车转动了多少，油门踏板上的压力有多大，产生了多少速度。
And I have to say, she was a natural.
我不得不说，她是天生的。
You are so good at this.
你很擅长这个。
I'm so impressed.
我很感动。
Sarah, you are doing so well.
莎拉，你做得很好。
Here's the tricky turn, though.
不过，这是一个棘手的转折。
Don't hit the handicapped people!
别打残疾人！
[LAUGHS] It was like learning to play the piano, how in the beginning, you look at your hands as much as you look at the music.
[笑]这就像学习弹钢琴一样，一开始，你要像看音乐一样看你的手。
The hard thing isn't decoding the notes.
困难的不是破译音符。
It's doing it in time without stopping to think about every little move.
它及时行动，无需停下来思考每一个小动作。
I'm turning left and lurching, and turning right a little bit.
我向左转，摇摇晃晃，然后又向右转一点。
And now I'm turning left a lot!
现在我经常左转！
After half an hour in which I played the driving equivalent of chopsticks, Ira took over the wheel again to take us to the next parking lot.
在我玩了半个小时的筷子驾驶游戏后，艾拉再次接管了方向盘，带我们去了下一个停车场。
I watched the streets while he drove, and suddenly they looked so narrow and fraught with the danger.
他开车的时候，我看着街道，突然间，街道显得如此狭窄，充满了危险。
My beautiful city of orderly boulevards and responsible fellow citizens now looked like some film noir back alley where you can't trust a soul, where a dame's pretty smile gets you nothing but the jaws of life, where even the parked cars looked like they were packing heat, and they didn't care who knew.
我美丽的城市，有秩序井然的林荫大道和负责任的同胞，现在看起来就像黑色电影中的后巷，在那里你不能相信任何灵魂，那里一位女士美丽的微笑只能让你感到生活的残酷，甚至停放的汽车看起来都充满了热量，而且他们不在乎谁知道。
Meanwhile, in the real world, I looked for a bigger parking lot to practice driving in.
与此同时，在现实世界中，我寻找了一个更大的停车场来练习驾驶。
And then we drove past Rosehill Cemetery.
然后我们开车经过罗斯希尔公墓。
Perfect.
完美的。
Like a big, deserted public park with long winding roads, no cars, nobody around.
就像一个空旷的大公园，道路蜿蜒曲折，没有汽车，周围也没有人。
Nobody we could hurt anyway.
无论如何我们都不能伤害任何人。
Sarah drove on snow.
莎拉在雪上开车。
She handled intersections.
她处理十字路口。
I thought she was doing great.
我以为她做得很好。
But then she started to act very, very strange.
但后来她的行为开始变得非常非常奇怪。
I don't feel like myself right now.
我现在感觉不像我自己了。
I'm having an outer body experience.
我正在体验外在身体。
I'm not really nervous anymore, but I'm not really concentrating.
我不再那么紧张了，但我并没有真正集中注意力。
[LAUGHS] Ira Glass Well, that's reassuring.
[笑] Ira Glass 嗯，这让人放心。
My voice sounds different.
我的声音听起来不一样。
Does my voice sound different?
我的声音听起来不一样吗？
I don't sound like myself right now, do I?
我现在听起来不像我自己，是吗？
In any how-to, there are the actual skills that you're learning and then there is the fact that by learning these skills, you are actually becoming, in a small way, a different person.
在任何指南中，都有您正在学习的实际技能，而且事实上，通过学习这些技能，您实际上正在某种程度上成为一个不同的人。
And during the how-to there's this period where you have the skills but you do not yet see yourself as a kind of person who has those skills, as the changed person.
在指导过程中，有一个阶段，你拥有这些技能，但你还没有将自己视为拥有这些技能的人，也没有将自己视为改变的人。
And this period, it can last for hours.
而这个时期，可以持续几个小时。
It can last for years, really.
它真的可以持续很多年。
Forever.
永远。
There's a car behind me, huh?
我后面有一辆车，是吗？
Ira Glass Well, that's the way it's going to be.
艾拉·格拉斯：嗯，事情就是这样。
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass Slow down.
艾拉·格拉斯 慢点。
No. Slow down.
不，慢点。
Not so much gas.
没那么多气。
Good.
好的。
I'd sort of forgotten there'd be other cars around.
我有点忘记周围还有其他车。
I had problems of my own without worrying about the other drivers, not just their actions, their actual existence.
我有自己的问题，而不担心其他司机，不仅仅是他们的行为，他们的实际存在。
And this brings us to the part of our story that we think of as the frightening near misses.
这就把我们带到了故事中我们认为是可怕的未遂事件的部分。
A word about this next recording before we play it for you.
在我们为您播放下一段录音之前，先介绍一下它。
Remember, please, driving is my greatest fear.
请记住，开车是我最大的恐惧。
And it's not a totally irrational fear.
这并不是一种完全非理性的恐惧。
There are things about driving that are in fact dangerous, like learning to pass another car without hitting it.
关于驾驶的一些事情实际上是危险的，比如学习在不撞到另一辆车的情况下超越它。
So what happens when you confront the scariest part of your greatest fear?
那么，当你面对你最大的恐惧中最可怕的部分时，会发生什么呢？
Well, I don't know about you, but I laugh, a lot.
好吧，我不了解你，但我经常笑。
It was like that the first time when I was 16 and my sister tried to teach me to drive.
当我 16 岁的时候，我姐姐第一次尝试教我开车，情况就像这样。
I got behind the wheel and started giggling so maniacally and so uncontrollably for so long that she kicked me out of her car and made me walk.
我坐上方向盘，开始疯狂地、无法控制地咯咯笑了很长时间，以至于她把我从车里踢了出来，让我走开。
So all of which to say, the first two times that another car passed us on the road in the cemetery, Sarah drove straight off the street.
综上所述，前两次，另一辆车在墓地的路上从我们身边经过时，莎拉直接开出了街道。
Here's what it sounded like.
听起来是这样的。
Sarah, now, listen.
莎拉，现在，听着。
None of the wheels of this car is actually in the street right now.
这辆车的车轮现在实际上都没有在街上。
Can't we just pretend like I did well?
我们就不能假装我做得很好吗？
What was that?
那是什么？
That's called panicking, isn't it?
这就是所谓的恐慌，不是吗？
I saw the other car, and I just wanted to be away from it.
我看到了另一辆车，我只想远离它。
What I don't understand is you're doing so well.
我不明白的是你做得这么好。
What do you have to panic about?
你有什么好恐慌的？
I swerved away from it to protect them.
我避开它以保护他们。
That was actually a heroic move and not a cowardly one.
这实际上是一种英雄之举，而不是懦弱之举。
But I'm such a brand-new driver that I have no habits.
但我是个新手，没有什么习惯。
Five minutes after I'd lurched away from the truck, a Buick passed, and I was compelled toward it like a magnet.
我摇摇晃晃地离开卡车五分钟后，一辆别克车驶过，我像一块磁铁一样被吸引向它。
Ira grabbed the wheel and swerved us away.
艾拉抓住方向盘，把我们赶走了。
Slow.
慢的。
Slow.
慢的。
This is the thing that I never suspected.
这是我从来没有怀疑过的事情。
I thought it was just going to be like, step one, step two, step three, easy, learn to drive, no problem.
我以为就这样，第一步，第二步，第三步，很简单，学开车，没问题。
I never realized that I was actually going to get scared.
我从来没有意识到我实际上会感到害怕。
"Oh, I look down on Sarah's fears.
“哦，我看不起莎拉的恐惧。
I thought Sarah's fears were unfounded.
我认为莎拉的担心是没有根据的。
Sarah's just a scaredy cat, who, if she just thought things through like a rational human being--"
莎拉只是一只胆怯的猫，如果她像一个理性的人一样思考问题——”
Sarah Vowell.
莎拉·沃威尔。
Sarah Vowell.
莎拉·沃威尔。
Sarah Vowell Yes, Ira.
莎拉·沃威尔 是的，艾拉。
You have to admit that this was not so hard.
你必须承认这并不难。
After only an hour in the cemetery, you were ready to drive among the living.
在墓地待了仅仅一个小时后，您就准备好在生者中间开车了。
Pull up a little more.
再拉一点。
After this car, I want you to go.
开完这辆车，我要你走。
Now.
现在。
Stay in your lane.
留在你的车道上。
[SIGHS] Ira Glass Sarah looked to the left, looked to the right, and pulled into traffic down a narrow residential street.
[叹气]艾拉·格拉斯·莎拉向左看了看，又向右看了看，然后沿着一条狭窄的住宅街道驶入车流。
I brought a tape, now that we're out on the road.
我带了一盘磁带，现在我们已经上路了。
Follow the curb here.
沿着这里的路边走。
[MUSIC - "ROADRUNNER" BY THE MODERN LOVERS]
[音乐 - 现代恋人的“走鹃”]
Aw, you remembered!
噢，你想起来了！
[SINGING] Going faster miles an hour.
[唱歌] 每小时行驶得更快。
Gonna drive past the Stop 'n' Shop.
开车经过 Stop 'n' Shop。
With the radio on.
收音机开着。
Sarah named her first book after a line from this song, a song all about driving.
莎拉以这首歌中的一句歌词命名了她的第一本书，这是一首关于驾驶的歌曲。
I thought it was all about listening to the radio.
我以为这都是关于听广播的。
Anyway, the celebration turned out to be a little premature.
无论如何，庆祝活动有点为时过早。
The song was so blissfully distracting, it was hard to keep pace with traffic.
这首歌是如此令人幸福地分散注意力，很难跟上交通的步伐。
And four cars, in a kind of convergence of hate, honked a big, "Howdy, neighbor, welcome to the car class."
而四辆车，以一种仇恨的汇聚，大声鸣响了喇叭，“你好，邻居，欢迎来到汽车课。”
It suddenly seemed like a very good idea to turn off the tape.
突然间，关掉磁带似乎是个好主意。
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass Turn off the stereo.
艾拉·格拉斯 关闭音响。
Go to the right.
往右边走。
Turn right.
右转。
Turn right.
右转。
You have a green.
你有一个绿色。
Good.
好的。
Pull over here.
靠边停车。
Sarah Vowell Pull over?
莎拉·沃威尔靠边停车？
Stop, stop, stop.
停下来，停下来，停下来。
Stop.
停止。
Sarah Vowell Despite the occasional close call, it was a very good start.
萨拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell） 尽管偶尔会遇到千钧一发的情况，但这仍然是一个很好的开始。
But our second lesson the next day led us to a side of our how-to that-- I mean, I guess I should have seen this coming.
但第二天的第二课让我们了解到了如何做到这一点的一方面——我的意思是，我想我应该预见到这一点。
After all, I did have the warning from the Garage Cassandras, the Bards of Stratford on Charles, the oracle at Car Talk Plaza.
毕竟，我确实收到了来自查尔斯车库卡桑德拉、斯特拉特福吟游诗人、汽车谈话广场的神谕的警告。
Things in your nature that you heretofore have kept secret from the entire world will be divulged to this person.
你本性中迄今为止一直对全世界保密的事情将会向这个人透露。
We'd gotten along OK on the first day.
第一天我们相处得还不错。
Day two began with this insane claim on the part of my friend Sarah Vowell.
第二天，我的朋友莎拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell）提出了这一疯狂的主张。
Insane?
疯狂的？
Ira Glass You claimed you hadn't driven.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：你声称你没有开车。
I just feel very removed from the whole thing.
我只是觉得自己与整件事格格不入。
I wasn't driving.
我没有开车。
I was doing a story.
我正在写一个故事。
But you drove for two hours.
但你开了两个小时的车。
Sarah Vowell Yeah.
莎拉·沃威尔 是的。
But somehow you still think that you haven't driven.
但不知怎的，你仍然认为你没有开车。
Well, yeah, I mean, driving just isn't something I do.
嗯，是的，我的意思是，开车不是我做的事情。
I mean, I guess I could see that physically, yes, I was doing it.
我的意思是，我想我可以从身体上看到这一点，是的，我正在这样做。
And I remember being there in all of it.
我记得我参与了这一切。
But I just felt like that was my evil twin or something.
但我只是觉得那是我邪恶的孪生兄弟什么的。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Yesterday when you and I were in the car, everything was just fine, right?
昨天当你和我在车里时，一切都很好，对吗？
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Ira Glass It was just fine.
艾拉·格拉斯 一切都很好。
We got along fine.
我们相处得很好。
It's only right now you're getting on my nerves.
只是现在你让我心烦意乱。
That's what I was going to say.
这就是我想说的。
You're getting on my nerves.
你让我心烦意乱。
You are.
你是。
I can't believe this.
我简直不敢相信这一点。
I mean, you can actually drive.
我的意思是，你实际上可以开车。
And I don't know.
我不知道。
Maybe this is just very boy, but I feel like I showed you how to drive and now you're turning around and you're telling me that it never happened.
也许这只是非常男孩，但我觉得我向你展示了如何驾驶，现在你转过身来告诉我这从未发生过。
I feel like you have this kind of you feel like you need to save me or something right now in a way that's bothering me.
我觉得你有这种感觉，你觉得你现在需要拯救我或做一些让我困扰的事情。
Well, no, it isn't that I feel like I need to save you.
嗯，不，我并不是觉得需要拯救你。
It's that I feel like you don't know, but I know.
就是我感觉你不知道，但我知道。
I know better.
我更了解。
It's a feeling of I know better.
这是一种我更了解的感觉。
Not a very good feeling to bring up between two people.
两个人之间的感情不太好。
Not only is it a feeling of I know better.
这不仅是一种我更了解的感觉。
It's a feeling that I know better what you need.
感觉我更知道你需要什么。
Hmm.
唔。
I don't want to drive.
我不想开车。
And since I have driven, I feel like-- this is sort of weird, but it sort of feels like I would imagine how it feels to have an affair or something.
自从我开车以来，我觉得——这有点奇怪，但感觉就像我会想象有外遇或其他什么感觉。
I feel like I've cheated on myself.
我觉得我欺骗了自己。
You know that while you're doing it that that's what you're doing and you can sort of feel yourself doing it.
你知道，当你这样做的时候，那就是你正在做的事情，你可以感觉到自己正在做这件事。
You can feel yourself touch this foreign object.
你可以感觉到自己触摸到了这个异物。
And then the next morning, you just wish the whole thing had never happened.
第二天早上，你只希望整件事从未发生过。
You just hope no one ever finds out.
你只是希望没有人发现。
An impasse.
陷入僵局。
Any teacher will tell you, in any how-to situation, there's the actual learning part and then, the trickiest part of all, motivation.
任何老师都会告诉你，在任何指导情况下，都有实际的学习部分，然后是最棘手的部分，动机。
I'm feeling a little deflated right now, like I need to be pumped up to go out.
我现在感觉有点泄气，就像我需要打气才能出去。
I need some fun encouragement to get back in the car again.
我需要一些有趣的鼓励才能再次回到车上。
Sarah knew how to drive.
莎拉知道如何开车。
She just didn't remember why she should drive.
她只是不记得为什么要开车。
So I tried to evoke for her the picture of an America in which she could hit the open road, like Dean Moriarty, like driving is America, like there's a fundamental idea of what it is to be an American that is bound up in every hit-the-road song and movie and story that either of us have ever loved and probably you listening to my voice right now, in your car, listening to the radio that you also have loved, like, "it's waiting out there like a killer in the sun.
所以我试图向她描绘一个美国的画面，她可以像迪恩·莫里亚蒂一样在开阔的道路上行驶，就像开车就是美国一样，就像有一个关于作为一个美国人的基本理念，它与我们都曾经喜欢过的每一首公路歌曲、电影和故事紧密相连，也许你现在在车里听着我的声音，听着你也喜欢的广播，就像，“它就像阳光下的杀手一样在那里等待。
Just one more chance.
只剩下一次机会了。
We can make it if we run." All of that.
如果我们跑的话我们就能成功。”所有这些。
I went through all of it.
我经历了这一切。
Didn't work.
没用。
She mentioned something about the highway within that I didn't completely understand.
她在里面提到了一些关于高速公路的事情，我不太明白。
So I switched tactics.
所以我改变了策略。
To feel the freedom of the road, you don't need Jack Kerouac.
要感受道路上的自由，你不需要杰克·凯鲁亚克。
You just need Jack in the Box.
你只需要盒子里的杰克。
Drive-through.
直通车。
Drive-through.
直通车。
Really?
真的吗？
Ira Glass Let's go.
艾拉·格拉斯 我们走吧。
OK.
好的。
I know most people think of the drive-through as a visual and gastronomic blight.
我知道大多数人都认为汽车餐厅是一种视觉和美食上的灾难。
But my sister and I are obsessed with them.
但我和我姐姐却对它们着迷。
Our dad wouldn't go through drive-throughs when we were growing up.
在我们成长的过程中，我们的父亲不会经过免下车服务。
I think they make him nervous, partly because he's deaf.
我认为它们让他感到紧张，部分原因是他聋了。
He only approves of fast food when it's served on the fancy trays, so we think of drive-throughs as these objects of desire, full of the thrills denied to us so cruelly for so long.
他只认可盛在精美托盘上的快餐，因此我们将得来速餐厅视为欲望的对象，充满了我们长期以来被残酷拒绝的刺激。
So what's it going to be then?
那么接下来会怎样呢？
Are you in the mood for Burger King or McDonald's or--
您想吃汉堡王或麦当劳吗？还是——
I want to go to a place that's on the right side of the street.
我想去街右边的一个地方。
[LAUGHTER] Ira Glass So you don't have to make a left turn?
[笑声] Ira Glass 所以你不必左转？
Yeah.
是的。
Three left turns later, we pull into the drive-through lane of a Burger King.
左转三圈后，我们驶入汉堡王的车道。
OK.
好的。
You're doing great.
你做得很好。
Sarah Vowell Look.
莎拉·沃威尔 看。
We're at the thing.
我们正在处理事情。
We'd like a Whopper and two Cokes and one chicken sandwich.
我们想要一份皇堡、两杯可乐和一份鸡肉三明治。
You want two Cokes, a Whopper, and a chicken sandwich?
您想要两杯可乐、一份皇堡和一份鸡肉三明治吗？
Yep.
是的。
Man Would you like any fries with that?
伙计，你想加点薯条吗？
OK, that's two Cokes, a Whopper, a chicken sandwich, and a medium fry.
好的，这是两杯可乐、一份皇堡、一份鸡肉三明治和一份中度炸薯条。
Will that be all?
仅此而已吗？
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Man OK, your total comes to $9.08.
好的，您的总金额为 9.08 美元。
Drive through, please.
请开车过去。
OK.
好的。
[LAUGHS] He said drive through, please, to me.
[笑]他对我说，请开车过去。
To me.
大部头书。
No one's ever said that to me before.
以前从来没有人对我说过这样的话。
Those of you familiar with the customs of life here in the United States of America need no explanation of what happens next.
熟悉美国生活习惯的人不需要解释接下来会发生什么。
We give the guy some money.
我们给那家伙一些钱。
He gives us food.
他给我们食物。
Notice.
注意。
Notice.
注意。
It's coming through the car window.
它从车窗进来。
OK, there you go.
好的，就这样吧。
Sarah Vowell Thank you.
莎拉·沃威尔 谢谢。
You too.
你也是。
Ira Glass We pulled into a parking space to eat.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 我们把车开进一个停车位去吃饭。
That was fun.
那很有趣。
[LAUGHS] I have to say, this is probably going to be the best crappy sandwich I've ever had in my life.
[笑]我不得不说，这可能是我一生中吃过的最好的蹩脚三明治。
It was a really remarkable thing to see.
这真是一件了不起的事情。
Half an hour before this, she never wanted to drive ever again, never wanted to join the part of our American culture that is behind the wheel.
半小时前，她再也不想开车，再也不想加入美国文化中开车的那一部分。
It was an epiphany, an actual epiphany, all taking place at a Burger King.
这是一次顿悟，一次真正的顿悟，一切都发生在汉堡王。
She overcame the greatest fear of her life at a drive-through window.
她在免下车窗口克服了一生中最大的恐惧。
How many times do you think you'd have to do drive through before it would stop giving you this unbelievable thrill?
您认为您需要开车经过多少次才能停止给您带来这种难以置信的刺激？
I loved the way the guy looked at me and smiled and said, you know-- what did he say, something plain like enjoy your meal?
我喜欢那个家伙看着我的样子，微笑着说，你知道吗——他说什么，简单地说，比如享受你的饭菜？
But I felt like he really meant it.
但我感觉他确实是这么想的。
[LAUGHTER] And now, my fellow Americans, we have arrived at the drive off into the sunset portion of our story, even though it was the middle of the day, even though we were heading east.
[笑声] 现在，我的美国同胞们，我们已经到达故事的日落部分，尽管那是中午，尽管我们正在向东行驶。
We went up Irving Park Road to the highway, Lake Shore Drive, the most beautiful street in America.
我们沿着欧文公园路前往高速公路，湖岸大道，美国最美丽的街道。
Trees and old beautiful buildings, the whole city of Chicago to our right.
树木和美丽的古老建筑，整个芝加哥市就在我们的右边。
Lake Michigan to our left.
密歇根湖在我们的左边。
Eight lanes of speeding cars.
八车道超速行驶的汽车。
We merged.
我们合并了。
Now I'm feeling kind of giddy.
现在我感觉有点头晕。
But you know what?
但你知道吗？
What?
什么？
Sarah Vowell I feel like I'm driving.
莎拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell） 我感觉自己在开车。
You do.
你做。
Sarah Vowell Yes.
莎拉·沃威尔 是的。
No alternate personalities are in charge of this vehicle at this moment.
目前没有替代人物负责这辆车。
That's good to know.
很高兴知道这一点。
Follow that white car.
跟着那辆白色汽车。
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass OK, whatever they do, you do.
艾拉·格拉斯 好吧，无论他们做什么，你都做。
[SINGING] Anything you can do, I can do better.
[唱歌] 你能做的任何事，我都能做得更好。
I can do anything better than you.
我可以做任何事情都比你更好。
No, you can't.
不，你不能。
Sarah Vowell OK, it's true.
莎拉·沃威尔：好的，这是真的。
[MUSIC - "ROADRUNNER" BY THE MODERN LOVERS]
[音乐 - 现代恋人的“走鹃”]
Coming up, if she's from the neighborhood, take her to El Cibao to eat.
来了，如果她是附近的，就带她去 El Cibao 吃饭。
If she's not, Wendy's will do.
如果她不这样做，温迪也可以。
And after dinner, what to say when you see the sunset and other how-to's including how to value your own life, in a minute from Public Radio International when our program continues.
晚餐后，当我们的节目继续时，国际公共广播电台将介绍当您看到日落时该说什么以及其他指导方法，包括如何珍惜自己的生命。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, invite a variety of writers and reporters and performers to tackle that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一个主题，邀请各种作家、记者和表演者来解决这个主题。
Today's program, How-to.
今天的节目，操作方法。
What happens during a how-to, what our how-to's say about us.
在指导过程中发生了什么，我们的指导对我们说了些什么。
We've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, How to Date a Browngirl, Blackgirl, Whitegirl, or Halfie.
第二幕，如何与棕色女孩、黑人女孩、白人女孩或半身女孩约会。
You know, one of the most common kinds of how-to's, going back to when they begin has always involved how to act to seem attractive to someone else.
你知道，最常见的指导方法之一，回到开始时总是涉及如何表现得对别人有吸引力。
In that genre, we offer this story from Junot Diaz.
在这一类型中，我们提供朱诺·迪亚兹的这个故事。
A warning that some of this might not be suitable for younger listeners.
警告其中某些内容可能不适合年轻听众。
Wait for your brother and your mother to leave the apartment.
等待你的兄弟和你的母亲离开公寓。
You've already told them that you're feeling too sick to go to Union City to visit that tia who likes to squeeze your nuts.
你已经告诉他们你感觉太不舒服了，无法去联合城看望那个喜欢挤你的坚果的蒂亚。
"He's gotten big," she'll say.
“他已经长大了，”她会说。
And even though your moms knows you ain't sick, you stuck to your story until finally she said, "Go ahead and stay, malcriado."
即使你妈妈知道你没有生病，你还是坚持你的故事，直到最后她说：“留下来吧，马尔克里亚多。”
Clear the government cheese from the refrigerator.
从冰箱中取出政府奶酪。
If the girl's from the Terrace, stack the boxes behind the milk.
如果女孩来自露台，请将盒子堆放在牛奶后面。
If she's from the Park or Society Hill, hide the cheese in the cabinet above the oven, way up where she'll never see.
如果她来自公园或社会山，请将奶酪藏在烤箱上方的柜子里，藏在她永远看不到的地方。
Leave yourself a reminder to get it out before morning or your moms will kick your ass.
提醒自己在早上之前把它拿出来，否则你妈妈会踢你的屁股。
Take down any embarrassing photos of your family in the campo, especially the one with the half naked kids dragging a goat on a rope leash.
记下你家人在营地里所有令人尴尬的照片，尤其是那些半裸的孩子拖着一只用绳子拴着的山羊的照片。
The kids are your cousins, and by now they're old enough to understand why you're doing what you're doing.
孩子们是你的表兄弟姐妹，现在他们已经足够大了，能够理解你为什么要做你正在做的事情。
Hide the pictures of yourself with an Afro.
隐藏你的爆炸头照片。
Make sure the bathroom is presentable.
确保浴室美观。
Put the basket with all the crapped-on toilet paper under the sink.
把装有所有脏卫生纸的篮子放在水槽下面。
Spray the bucket with the Lysol, then close the cabinet.
用来苏水喷洒桶，然后关闭柜子。
Shower, comb, dress.
淋浴、梳子、衣服。
Sit on the couch and watch TV.
坐在沙发上看电视。
If she's an outsider, her father will be bringing her, maybe her mother.
如果她是外人，她的父亲会带她来，也许她的母亲也会带她来。
Neither of them want her seeing any boys from the Terrace.
他们俩都不希望她看到露台上的任何男孩。
People get stabbed in the Terrace.
人们在露台上被刺伤。
But she's strongheaded, and this time will get her way.
但她意志坚强，这一次她一定会如愿以偿。
If she's a white girl, you know you'll at least get a hand job.
如果她是白人女孩，你知道你至少会得到一份手工工作。
The directions were in your best handwriting, so her parents won't think you're an idiot.
这些说明都是你最好的笔迹，所以她的父母不会认为你是个白痴。
Get up from the couch and check the parking lot.
从沙发上站起来，检查停车场。
Nothing.
没有什么。
If the girl's local, don't sweat it.
如果女孩是本地人，那就不用担心。
She'll flow over when she's good and ready.
当她准备好时，她就会流过来。
Sometimes she'll run into her other friends, and a whole crowd will show up at your apartment.
有时她会遇到她的其他朋友，一大群人会出现在你的公寓里。
And even though that means you ain't getting [BLEEP], it will be fun anyway and you'll wish these people would come over more often.
即使这意味着你不会得到[BLEEP]，但无论如何这都会很有趣，你会希望这些人能更频繁地过来。
Sometimes the girl won't flow over at all, and the next day in school, she'll say, sorry, and smile.
有时女孩根本不会过来，第二天在学校，她会说，对不起，然后微笑。
And you'll be stupid enough to believe her and ask her out again.
你就会愚蠢到相信她并再次约她出去。
Wait, and after an hour, go out to your corner.
等待，一个小时后，走到你的角落。
The neighborhood is full of traffic.
附近交通繁忙。
Give one of your boys a shout, and when he says, "Are you still waiting on that bitch?" say, "Hell yeah." Get back inside.
大声喊你的一个男孩，当他说：“你还在等那个母狗吗？”说：“是的。”回到里面。
Call her house.
给她家打电话。
And when her father picks up, ask if she's there.
当她父亲接电话时，问她是否在。
He'll ask, "Who is this?" Hang up.
他会问：“这是谁？”挂断。
He sounds like a principal or a police chief, the sort of dude with a big neck who never has to watch his back.
他听起来就像一位校长或警察局长，是那种从不小心背后的大脖子家伙。
Sit and wait.
坐下来等待。
By the time your stomach's ready to give out on you, a Honda or maybe a Jeep pulls in, and out she comes.
当你的胃快要崩溃的时候，一辆本田车或者吉普车开进来了，然后她就出来了。
"Hey," you'll say.
“嘿，”你会说。
"Look," she'll say, "my mom wants to meet you.
“听着，”她会说，“我妈妈想见见你。
She's got herself all worried about nothing." Don't panic.
她让自己无忧无虑。”不要恐慌。
Say, "Hey, no problem." Run a hand through your hair like the white boys do, even though the only thing that runs easily through your hair is Africa.
说：“嘿，没问题。”像白人男孩那样用手梳理头发，尽管唯一容易梳理头发的是非洲。
She will look good.
她会看起来不错。
The white ones are the ones you want the most, but usually the out-of-towners are black-- black girls who grew up with ballet and Girl Scouts, who have three cars in their driveways.
白人是你最想要的，但外地人通常是黑人——伴随着芭蕾舞和女童子军长大的黑人女孩，他们的车道上停着三辆车。
If she's a halfie, don't be surprised that her mother is white.
如果她是混血儿，不要对她的母亲是白人感到惊讶。
Say hi.
打个招呼吧。
Her moms will say hi, and you will see that you don't scare her, not really.
她的妈妈会打招呼，你会发现你并没有吓到她，真的没有。
She will say that she needs easier directions to get out.
她会说她需要更简单的指示才能出去。
And even though she has the best directions in her lap, give her new ones.
即使她手里有最好的指示，也要给她新的指示。
Make her happy.
让她开心。
You have choices.
你有选择。
If the girl is from around the way, take her to El Cibao for dinner.
如果女孩来自附近，带她去 El Cibao 吃晚饭。
Order everything in your busted up Spanish.
用你蹩脚的西班牙语点所有东西。
Let her correct you if she's Latina, and amaze her if she's black.
如果她是拉丁裔，请让她纠正你；如果她是黑人，请让她惊讶。
If she's not from around the way, Wendy's will do.
如果她不是附近的人，温迪餐厅也可以。
As you walk to the restaurant, talk about school.
当你走向餐厅时，谈论学校。
A local girl won't need the stories about the neighborhood, but the other ones might.
当地女孩不需要邻居的故事，但其他女孩可能需要。
Supply the story about the loco who had been storing canisters of tear gas in his basement for years, how one day the canisters cracked and the whole neighborhood got a dose of the military strength stuff.
提供一个关于疯子的故事，他多年来一直在地下室储存催泪瓦斯罐，有一天罐子破裂了，整个社区都得到了一剂军事力量的东西。
Don't tell her that your moms knew right away what it was, that she recognized its smell from the year the United States invaded your island.
不要告诉她，你的妈妈立刻就知道那是什么，她在美国入侵你的岛屿的那一年就认出了它的气味。
Hope that you don't run into your nemesis, Howie, the Puerto Rican kid with the two killer mutts.
希望你不会遇到你的宿敌豪伊，一个带着两只杀手杂种狗的波多黎各孩子。
He walks them all over the neighborhood, and every now and then, the mutts corner themselves a cat and tear it to shreds.
他带着它们在附近到处走，时不时地，杂种狗会把一只猫逼到角落里，把它撕成碎片。
Howie laughing as the cat flips up in the air, its neck twisted around like an owl, red meat showing through the soft fur.
豪伊笑着看着猫在空中翻转，它的脖子像猫头鹰一样扭动着，红色的肉从柔软的皮毛中露出来。
If his dogs haven't cornered a cat, he will walk behind you and ask, "Hey, Junior, is that your new [BLEEP]?" Let him talk.
如果他的狗没有把猫逼入绝境，他会走到你身后问：“嘿，小伙子，这是你的新[BLEEP]吗？”让他说话吧。
Howie weighs about 200 pounds and could eat you if he wanted.
Howie 重约 200 磅，如果他愿意的话可以吃掉你。
At the field, he will turn away.
到了场上，他就会转身走开。
He has new sneakers and doesn't want them muddy.
他有新运动鞋，不想让它们沾满泥。
If the girl's an outsider, she will hiss now and say, "What a [BLEEP] asshole." A homegirl would have been yelling back at him the whole time unless she was shy.
如果这个女孩是个局外人，她现在会发出嘶嘶声说：“真是个[BLEEP]混蛋。”一个家庭女孩除非害羞，否则肯定会一直对他大喊大叫。
Either way, don't feel bad that you didn't do anything.
不管怎样，不要因为自己什么都没做而感到难过。
Never lose a fight on your first date or that will be the end of it.
永远不要在第一次约会时就输掉一场战斗，否则一切就结束了。
Dinner will be tense.
晚餐会很紧张。
You are not good at talking to people you don't know.
你不擅长和不认识的人交谈。
A halfie will tell you that her parents met in the movement, will say, "Back then, people thought it a radical thing to do." It will sound like something her parents made her memorize.
半个半人会告诉你，她的父母是在运动中认识的，会说：“当时，人们认为这是一件激进的事情。”这听起来像是她父母让她背下来的东西。
Your brother once heard that one and said, "Man, that sounds like a whole lot of Uncle Tomming to me." Don't repeat this.
你哥哥有一次听过这句话，他说：“伙计，这对我来说听起来就像是汤明叔叔。”不要重复这个。
Put down your hamburger and say, "It must have been hard." She will appreciate your interest.
放下你的汉堡并说：“一定很难。”她会感激你的兴趣。
She will tell you more.
她会告诉你更多。
"Black people," she will say, "treat me real bad.
“黑人，”她会说，“对我很不好。
That's why I don't like them."
这就是为什么我不喜欢他们。”
You'll wonder how she feels about Dominicans.
您会想知道她对多米尼加人的感觉如何。
Don't ask.
别问。
Let her speak on it, and when you're both finished eating, walk back into the neighborhood.
让她说一下，当你们都吃完饭后，走回附近。
The skies will be magnificent.
天空将是壮丽的。
Pollutants have made Jersey sunsets one of the wonders of the world.
污染物使泽西岛的日落成为世界奇观之一。
Point it out.
指出来。
Touch her shoulder and say, "That's nice, right?"
拍拍她的肩膀说：“很好，对吧？”
Get serious.
认真点吧。
Watch TV, but stay alert.
看电视，但保持警惕。
Sip some of the rum your father left in the cabinet, which nobody touches.
喝点你父亲留在柜子里的朗姆酒，没人碰它。
A local girl may have hips and a thick ass, but she won't be quick about letting you touch.
当地女孩可能有臀部和厚屁股，但她不会很快让你触摸。
She has to live in the same neighborhood as you, has to deal with you being in her business.
她必须和你住在同一个社区，必须应付你参与她的生意。
She might just chill with you and then go home.
她可能只是和你在一起放松一下，然后就回家了。
She might kiss you and then go.
她可能会吻你然后走。
Or she might, if she's reckless, give it up, but that's rare.
或者，如果她鲁莽的话，她可能会放弃，但这种情况很少见。
Kissing will suffice.
接吻就够了。
A white girl might just give it up right then.
白人女孩可能会立即放弃。
Don't stop her.
别阻止她。
She'll take her gum out of her mouth, stick it to the plastic sofa covers, and then will move close to you.
她会把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，粘在塑料沙发套上，然后靠近你。
"You have nice eyes," she might say.
“你的眼睛很漂亮，”她可能会说。
Tell her that you love her hair, that you love her skin, her lips, because in truth, you love them more than you love your own.
告诉她你爱她的头发，你爱她的皮肤，她的嘴唇，因为事实上，你爱它们胜过爱自己的嘴唇。
She will say, "I like Spanish guys." And even though you've never been to Spain, say, "I like you." You'll sound smooth.
她会说，“我喜欢西班牙男人。”即使您从未去过西班牙，也要说：“我喜欢你。”你听起来会很流畅。
You'll be with her until about 8:30, and then she'll want to wash up.
你会和她在一起直到大约 8:30，然后她会想要洗漱。
In the bathroom, she will hum a song from the radio and her waist will keep the beat against the lip of the sink.
在浴室里，她会哼着收音机里的歌曲，她的腰部会紧贴着水槽的边缘，跟着节奏。
Imagine her old lady coming to get her, what she would say if she knew her daughter had just laid under you and blown your name, pronounced with her eighth grade Spanish, into your ear.
想象一下，她的老太太来接她，如果她知道她的女儿刚刚躺在你的身下，用她八年级的西班牙语把你的名字吹到你耳边，她会说什么。
While she's in the bathroom, call one of your boys and say, Lo hice, loco.
当她在浴室时，打电话给你的一个男孩并说，嗨，疯了。
Or just sit back on the couch and smile.
或者只是坐在沙发上微笑。
But usually-- usually it won't work this way.
但通常——通常情况下不会这样。
Be prepared.
做好准备。
She will not want to kiss you.
她不会想吻你。
"Just cool it," she'll say.
“冷静一下，”她会说。
The halfie might lean back, breaking away from you.
半人可能会向后倾斜，脱离你。
She will cross her arms, say, "I hate my tits." Stroke her hair, but she will pull away.
她会交叉双臂，说：“我讨厌我的乳房。”抚摸她的头发，但她会躲开。
"I don't like anyone touching my hair," she will say.
“我不喜欢任何人碰我的头发，”她会说。
She will act like somebody you don't know.
她会表现得像个你不认识的人。
In school, she is known for her attention-grabbing laugh, as high and far ranging as a gull.
在学校里，她以引人瞩目的笑声而闻名，笑声像海鸥一样高高远远。
But here she will worry you.
但在这里她会让你担心。
You will not know what to say.
你会不知道该说什么。
"You're the only kind of guy who asks me out," she will say.
“你是唯一约我出去的人，”她会说。
"You and the black boys."
“你和黑人男孩。”
Say nothing.
什么也不说。
Let her button her shirt.
让她扣衬衫扣子。
Let her comb her hair, the sound of it stretching like a sheet of fire between you.
让她梳理头发，头发的声音就像一片火在你们之间伸展。
When her father pulls in and beeps, let her go without too much of a goodbye.
当她父亲停车并发出嘟嘟声时，让她走，无需太多告别。
She won't want it.
她不会想要的。
During the next hour, the phone will ring.
在接下来的一个小时内，电话将响起。
You will be tempted to pick it up.
你会很想把它捡起来。
Don't.
不。
Watch the shows you want to watch without a family around to debate you.
观看您想看的节目，而无需家人在场与您辩论。
Don't go downstairs.
别下楼。
Don't fall asleep.
别睡着了。
It won't help.
这不会有帮助。
Put the government cheese back in its place before your mother kills you.
在你妈妈杀了你之前，把政府的奶酪放回原处。
Junot Diaz's story is in his book Drown.
朱诺·迪亚兹的故事出现在他的书《溺水》中。
[MUSIC - "FINE BROWN FRAME" BY NELLIE LUTCHER]
[音乐 - NELLIE LUTCHER 的“精美棕色框架”]
Act Three, How to Increase Your Value as a Person.
第三幕，如何增加你作为一个人的价值。
Most how-to's make a promise.
大多数方法都是做出承诺。
You're not just going to learn skills.
你不只是要学习技能。
You will be transformed.
你将会被改变。
So, putting together today's program, we thought, what would be the ultimate transformation?
那么，在整理今天的节目时，我们想，最终的转变是什么？
What how-to could actually increase the value of human life?
什么方法可以真正增加人类生命的价值？
And it turns out that we as a society have people whose job it is to think about this very question.
事实证明，我们这个社会有人的工作就是思考这个问题。
And they turned out to be insurance adjusters.
原来他们是保险理算员。
Insurance adjusters.
保险理算员。
When somebody dies, insurance adjusters review the facts of the case, consider how much juries usually pay for various kinds of lifes and deaths when somebody dies and somebody else is to blame.
当有人死亡时，保险理赔员会审查案件事实，考虑当有人死亡且其他人有责任时，陪审团通常会为各种生命和死亡支付多少费用。
And then the adjusters recommend how much the insurance company should settle for, what the life was worth.
然后理赔员会建议保险公司应该赔付多少钱，生命值多少钱。
Adam Davidson put together this how-to on how to increase the value of your life.
亚当·戴维森 (Adam Davidson) 整理了这份关于如何增加生活价值的指南。
When I was seven, my mom told me about a guy who died because his car blew up.
当我七岁的时候，我妈妈告诉我一个人因为汽车爆炸而死的故事。
It was the manufacturer's fault, and the man's relatives sued and got about $300,000.
这是制造商的错，该男子的亲属提起诉讼并获得了大约 30 万美元。
I remember wondering about that number.
我记得我对这个数字感到好奇。
I remember thinking if you were going to assign a number to a human life, it would have to be huge, at least a million.
我记得我当时想，如果要给一个人的生命分配一个数字，这个数字必须很大，至少是一百万。
To my seven-year-old mind, a million seemed like the start of the really big numbers.
对于我七岁的孩子来说，一百万似乎是真正大数字的开始。
The other day, I wanted to find out how much my life was worth, so I went to talk to this guy George Karas, an adjuster in Merrillville, Indiana.
有一天，我想知道我的生命值多少钱，所以我去找乔治·卡拉斯（George Karas）交谈，他是印第安纳州梅里维尔的一名理赔员。
He looked me over, asked me my stats-- age, job, marital status.
他打量了我，询问我的统计数据——年龄、工作、婚姻状况。
Right now, today, I'm willing to pay you $35,000.
现在，今天，我愿意付给你 35,000 美元。
For my death?
为了我的死？
George Karas For your death.
乔治·卡拉斯 为了你的死。
Total.
全部的。
That's crazy.
太疯狂了。
George Karas What do you think it's worth?
乔治·卡拉斯 你觉得它值多少钱？
My life, worth less than half a second of one commercial on Seinfeld .
我的生命，不及《宋飞正传》广告中的半秒。
George explains it this way-- I'm single, got no dependents.
乔治这样解释——我单身，没有家属。
And as far as he's concerned, no one would be all that affected by my death.
对他来说，没有人会因为我的死而受到如此大的影响。
I argued with him, pointed out my parents need me.
我和他争论，指出我的父母需要我。
I make them laugh.
我让他们发笑。
I tease them in a way that nobody else can.
我以其他人无法做到的方式取笑他们。
How often do they see you?
他们多久见一次？
Adam Davidson My mom sees me once a month, my dad every three months.
亚当·戴维森 我妈妈每个月见我一次，我爸爸每三个月见我一次。
Once a month and every three months.
每月一次和每三个月一次。
How close are you to them?
你离他们有多近？
Do you take them out for dinner?
你带他们出去吃饭吗？
Do you always meet them on family holidays?
你总是在家庭假期见到他们吗？
Do you sit around the fireplace with them at night and roast marshmallows?
晚上你会和他们一起坐在壁炉旁烤棉花糖吗？
Those things are worth money?
那些东西值钱吗？
George Karas Absolutely.
乔治·卡拉斯 绝对的。
Loss of love and affection.
失去爱和感情。
In your case, there doesn't appear to be that strong emotional relationship.
就你而言，似乎没有那么强烈的情感关系。
You see your dad once every three months.
你每三个月见你爸爸一次。
Does he send you a picture in between so you remember what he looks like?
他是否会在中间给你发一张照片，以便你记住他的样子？
Girlfriends don't count.
女朋友不算数。
Adam Davidson They don't count?
亚当·戴维森 他们不算数？
Absolutely not.
绝对不是。
Adam Davidson I see my girlfriend every day, and we're madly in love.
亚当·戴维森（Adam Davidson） 我每天都见到我的女朋友，我们疯狂地相爱。
If you love her that much, marry her.
如果你那么爱她，就嫁给她吧。
Show her the respect to quit shacking up and marry her.
向她表示尊重，停止同居并嫁给她。
And then she'll count.
然后她会数数。
There's no government chart or general agreement on how much people are worth.
对于人们的身价，没有政府图表或普遍共识。
If you die and it's someone else's fault, you could be worth as little as a few hundred bucks or as much as a quarter of a billion dollars to your survivors.
如果你死了并且是别人的错，那么对于你的幸存者来说，你的价值可能少至几百美元，多至二十亿美元。
To come up with a dollar amount for a person's life, insurance adjusters add fixed costs-- medical bills, funeral expenses-- to the more intangible costs, things like loss of comfort, love, affection, guidance.
为了得出一个人一生的金额，保险理赔员会将固定成本（医疗费用、丧葬费用）加上无形成本（例如失去舒适、爱、情感、指导等）。
Obviously figuring out the intangible values is more difficult, but there are basic principles that adjusters and the courts go by.
显然，弄清楚无形价值更加困难，但理赔人和法院都遵循一些基本原则。
The more people you have dependent on you and the more people you affect positively, the more you're worth.
你依赖你的人越多，你积极影响的人越多，你的价值就越高。
So if you want to increase your value, here's how.
因此，如果您想增加自己的价值，请按以下方法操作。
Join community groups, tutor some poor kids.
加入社区团体，辅导一些贫困孩子。
Marrying your girlfriend or boyfriend adds a couple million dollars to your value.
与你的女朋友或男朋友结婚可以让你的价值增加几百万美元。
And while you're at it, have sex with them a lot.
当你这样做的时候，经常和他们发生性关系。
Losing the pleasure of sex with you can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
失去与你性爱的乐趣可能会带来数十万美元的损失。
Remember, girlfriends don't count.
记住，女朋友不算数。
Have a child.
生个孩子吧。
That will add another two million.
这将再增加 200 万。
A second or third or fourth child doesn't add anything.
第二个、第三个或第四个孩子不会增加任何东西。
A college degree usually increases your value by millions, same for a high paying professional job.
大学学位通常会让你的价值增加数百万美元，对于高薪专业工作来说也是如此。
But if you really want to go for the hard cash, the thing to do is suffer.
但如果你真的想赚到实实在在的钱，你要做的就是受苦。
Nothing gets a jury going like misery.
没有什么比痛苦更能让陪审团继续下去了。
Another adjuster, Sarelle Povitsky, explained that to really increase your value after a tragic accident, don't die.
另一位理算员萨雷尔·波维茨基 (Sarelle Povitsky) 解释说，要在悲剧性事故发生后真正增加你的价值，就不要死。
Live, but be severely injured.
活着，但受了重伤。
Yeah, right.
是的，对。
Brain dead or paraplegic quads, those really demand a lot of money because there's so much future care involved in that.
脑死亡或四肢截瘫，这些确实需要很多钱，因为这涉及到未来的护理。
Yeah, the quad is worse because you are really struggling each and every single day.
是的，四轮驱动更糟糕，因为你每天都在挣扎。
To increase your value, I would probably say burn.
为了增加你的价值，我可能会说燃烧。
That's the worst injury are burns.
最严重的伤害就是烧伤。
Why is that?
这是为什么？
Sarelle Povitsky Because there's no relief from that pain.
Sarelle Povitsky 因为这种痛苦无法缓解。
I mean, they put cream on them, but there's really no relief.
我的意思是，他们在上面涂了奶油，但实际上并没有缓解。
There's nothing they can do for you.
他们无能为力。
So I would say burns over most of your body would be--
所以我想说你身体的大部分烧伤会是——
--the best way to increase your value.
——增加你的价值的最好方法。
There's so much pain and suffering with that.
随之而来的是太多的痛苦和磨难。
And then the next thing would be to be brain dead.
然后接下来的事情就是脑死亡。
An insurance adjuster told me about a young guy driving a truck full of tires.
一位保险理算员告诉我，一个年轻人驾驶着一辆装满轮胎的卡车。
He crashed.
他坠毁了。
The car caught fire, and the tires pinned him inside.
汽车着火了，轮胎将他压在车内。
He slowly burned to death, begging for his life.
他慢慢地被烧死，乞求饶命。
He was a menial worker, single, no kids.
他是一名卑微的工人，单身，没有孩子。
Normally, the adjuster told me, he wouldn't be worth 30 grand.
理算员告诉我，正常情况下，他的价值不会是 30 英镑。
But his parents got a tremendous settlement because of his suffering.
但他的父母因为他的痛苦而得到了巨额赔偿。
And it struck me, as I heard this, that in financial terms, the last 10 minutes of this man's life were worth more than the whole 25 years that came before.
当我听到这个消息时，我突然意识到，从经济角度来看，这个人生命的最后 10 分钟比他之前的 25 年都更有价值。
Anyone who looks at this stuff realizes pretty quickly that there's something irrational in all these schemes.
任何看过这些东西的人很快就会意识到所有这些计划都有一些不合理的地方。
For example, the single most important factor in determining your worth is not who you are, what you've done, who you love.
例如，决定你的价值的最重要的因素不是你是谁、你做了什么、你爱谁。
It's the state or county where you die.
这是您死亡的州或县。
In general, if you die in a big city, you'll be worth a lot more than if you die in a rural farming community.
一般来说，如果你死在大城市，你的身价会比死在农村社区高得多。
Juries in big cities are just more generous.
大城市的评审团更加慷慨。
Adjusters say if you're going to die, die in Chicago or New York, preferably the Bronx, LA, Detroit.
理赔员说，如果你要死，就死在芝加哥或纽约，最好死在布朗克斯、洛杉矶、底特律。
Florida is pretty good.
佛罗里达还不错。
Avoid New England, especially Maine.
避开新英格兰，尤其是缅因州。
Stay away from the Rockies states.
远离落基山脉各州。
Don't die in Utah.
别死在犹他州。
You definitely don't want to die anywhere you can see the stars at night.
你绝对不想死在晚上能看到星星的地方。
George Karas, the adjuster in rural Indiana, told me I would be lucky to get 50 grand for my life, but Sarelle, who works in Chicago's Cook County, knew her juries would be more sympathetic.
印第安纳州乡村的理算员乔治·卡拉斯 (George Karas) 告诉我，如果我一生能得到 50 格兰特，那我就很幸运了，但在芝加哥库克县工作的萨雷尔 (Sarelle) 知道，她的陪审团会更有同情心。
You have this future potential.
你有这个未来的潜力。
God only knows where you could have gone with your degree and being a freelance person in communications.
只有上帝知道你凭借你的学位和作为传播领域的自由职业者能去往何处。
The whole world is open to you, and all of that is closed because you've died.
整个世界向你敞开，而所有这一切都因为你死了而关闭。
So I would say that for sympathy factor, it's possible in Cook County to get a million dollar or better verdict.
所以我想说，出于同情因素，库克县有可能获得一百万美元或更好的判决。
A million dollars, the price I dreamed of when I was seven.
一百万美元，这是我七岁时梦想的价格。
I asked Sarelle what I could do to increase my value even above that.
我问萨雷尔我能做些什么来提高我的价值，甚至超过这个值。
And what she said kind of shocked and disappointed me.
她的话让我感到震惊和失望。
Essentially she told me I would have to reinvent myself.
本质上，她告诉我我必须重塑自己。
In particular, I would have to spend more time outside.
特别是，我必须花更多的时间在外面。
It's a peculiar quirk of our legal system that people who enjoy outdoor activities are worth more than people who just stay inside and watch TV.
我们的法律制度有一个奇怪的现象，即喜欢户外活动的人比只待在室内看电视的人更有价值。
OK, here's what you should do to add value to your life, if you can.
好吧，如果可以的话，这就是你应该做的事情来为你的生活增加价值。
If you enjoy swimming or sunsets or gardening, or any of those things that create beauty in the world, try to do that, because that gives you added value.
如果你喜欢游泳、日落、园艺，或者任何那些创造世界美丽的事物，那就尝试这样做，因为这会给你带来附加值。
Here's one thing I was thinking of.
这是我想到的一件事。
I like to read sort of obscure plays.
我喜欢读一些晦涩难懂的戏剧。
I like to read sort of historical plays, which I'd imagine most people really could care less about.
我喜欢读一些历史剧，我想大多数人可能不太关心这些。
What about people who have-- let's say there's a guy, you could say he watches TV all the time, but what he's doing is he's watching videotapes of incredible foreign films.
假设有一个人，你可以说他一直在看电视，但他正在做的是观看令人难以置信的外国电影的录像带。
Is that going to--
难道这会——
Impact the verdict?
影响判决吗？
No, I don't think so.
不，我不这么认为。
See, the reason being-- so everybody watches TV and everybody reads.
看，原因是——所以每个人都看电视，每个人都读书。
I don't know if it's necessarily the content that's important.
我不知道是否一定是内容重要。
The person that we're talking about who's involved in the community, who is very active in sports and loves sunsets, and all that kind of stuff, he gives more to the world than the person who maybe watches historical plays.
我们所说的那些参与社区活动、非常活跃于体育运动、热爱日落以及诸如此类的人，他比那些观看历史剧的人为世界奉献了更多。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
It's not content.
这不是内容。
It's the whole value of the person's life, what they've done with it, how involved they are.
这是一个人生命的全部价值，他们用生命做了什么，以及他们的参与程度。
That gives you the greater value.
这会给你带来更大的价值。
Right.
正确的。
Because the things that I feel add value to my life as I experience it, for me-- because I'm not much of an outdoors person-- what I feel adds the richness to my life personally really is reading.
因为当我经历的时候，我觉得那些为我的生活增添价值的东西，对我来说——因为我不是一个喜欢户外活动的人——我觉得让我个人生活更加丰富的东西确实是阅读。
It's reading literature, reading nonfiction, and seeing wonderful films.
它包括阅读文学作品、阅读非小说类作品以及观看精彩的电影。
I mean, that's something I really get a lot of deep pleasure.
我的意思是，这是我真正感到非常高兴的事情。
But I don't know that that adds value to your life, because we all do it.
但我不知道这会给你的生活增加价值，因为我们都这样做。
I love reading.
我喜欢读书。
I love going to movies.
我喜欢去看电影。
That's something you do personally.
这是你个人做的事情。
No one's dependent on you to do that.
没有人依赖你来做这件事。
It's just something you yourself are being enriched from.
这只是你自己从中获得的财富。
And I don't know that that would have a great deal of value.
我不知道这会有很大的价值。
So the jocks who I hated in high school and felt were worth less than I was, it turns out they're worth--
所以我高中时讨厌的那些运动员，觉得他们的价值比我低，事实证明他们的价值——
More.
更多。
Yeah.
是的。
Adam Davidson We look to systems of rules, to how-to schemes, to create order out of situations that inherently defy rationality.
亚当·戴维森（Adam Davidson） 我们寻求规则体系、指导方案，在本质上违背理性的情况下创造秩序。
And it always amazes me to think that when this particular system does its job, a check is cut, it has a dollar amount on it, and that's supposed to be the value of somebody's life.
当这个特定的系统完成其工作时，我总是感到惊讶，一张支票被划开，上面有美元金额，而这应该是某人生命的价值。
I talked to one adjuster who said that when someone loses a loved one, they don't want money.
我与一位理赔员交谈过，他说当有人失去亲人时，他们并不想要钱。
They want to get rid of their pain.
他们想摆脱痛苦。
They want that person back.
他们想要那个人回来。
They're angry, and they want whoever caused the death to suffer.
他们很愤怒，他们希望造成死亡的人受到惩罚。
But the only thing we can give them is money.
但我们唯一能给他们的就是钱。
That's all we have.
那是我们所有的东西。
That's all we can do.
这就是我们能做的。
Well this, of course, is the point in our program when we do the credits.
当然，这就是我们制作学分时节目中的重点。
And we thought, as part of that, we would have one last how-to.
我们认为，作为其中的一部分，我们将有最后一个操作方法。
And to help with that how-to, I'd like to welcome to the program my dad, Barry Glass, now a certified public accountant in Baltimore, but in his younger days was a disc jockey in college radio and commercial radio.
为了帮助您了解如何操作，我想欢迎我的父亲巴里·格拉斯 (Barry Glass) 加入该计划，他现在是巴尔的摩的一名注册会计师，但在他年轻的时候是大学广播电台和商业广播电台的唱片骑师。
Now, when you and I talked about the show, you've had a particular criticism of the way I do the show.
现在，当你和我谈论这部剧时，你对我制作这部剧的方式提出了特别的批评。
Well, it was a constructive criticism.
嗯，这是一个建设性的批评。
Let me put it that way.
让我这样说吧。
Let me start by being defensive.
让我从防守开始。
[LAUGHS] Well, it was a constructive criticism, which is why I invited you here today.
[笑]嗯，这是一个建设性的批评，这就是我今天邀请你来这里的原因。
And knowing from past experience, when I used to have to do things like closing credits, they get to be very mundane and things you do all the time.
从过去的经验来看，当我过去必须做诸如结束片尾之类的事情时，它们就会变得非常平凡，而且是你一直在做的事情。
And sometimes you just roll right through them without a lot of emotion or maybe without sounding like a lot of caring.
有时你只是简单地浏览它们，没有太多的情感，或者听起来没有太多的关心。
And that was my criticism to you.
这就是我对你的批评。
Just so people at home can hear, let's just play some credits from a recent show so they can hear what you're talking about.
为了让家里的人能够听到，我们播放一些最近节目的片尾字幕，以便他们能够听到您在说什么。
Our program produced today by Julie Snyder and myself with Alix Spiegel and Nancy Updike.
我们今天的节目由朱莉·斯奈德和我本人以及阿利克斯·斯皮格尔和南希·厄普代克制作。
Senior editor Paul Tough.
高级编辑保罗·托夫。
Contributing editors Jack Hitt, Margy Rochlin, and consigliere Sarah Vowell.
特约编辑 Jack Hitt、Margy Rochlin 和顾问 Sarah Vowell。
Production help from Rachel Day and [?
雷切尔·戴 (Rachel Day) 和 [?
Sohini ?] Davenport.
索希尼？]达文波特。
Now, Dad, explain to the nonprofessionals, what am I doing wrong there?
现在，爸爸，向非专业人士解释一下，我在那里做错了什么？
Well, you're just not giving it enough importance.
好吧，你只是没有给予它足够的重视。
You're anxious to beat the clock or something like that, or to get to a cup of coffee or I don't know what.
你急于赶时间或者类似的事情，或者想喝杯咖啡或者我不知道什么。
Yeah.
是的。
So give me some pointers.
所以请给我一些指示。
Give me some how-to.
给我一些操作方法。
Well, I think you just ought to take your time and not rush through it so quickly, and try to give a feeling for the importance of the people who make the show go beside yourself.
好吧，我认为你应该慢慢来，不要那么快地看完它，并尝试让大家感受到那些让这部剧精彩的人的重要性。
OK, well, why don't you and I split up the credits between us?
好吧，那为什么你和我不平分积分呢？
You have a copy of the script there in front of you.
您面前有一份脚本副本。
You're speaking to me, I should say, by the way, from the studios of WJHU in Baltimore, the Public Radio affiliate there.
顺便说一句，你是在巴尔的摩 WJHU 的工作室里对我说话，那里是公共广播电台的附属机构。
And why don't you just start the credits?
为什么不直接开始制作学分呢？
Our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and Ira Glass with Alix Spiegel and Julie Snyder.
今天我们的节目由南希·厄普代克、艾拉·格拉斯、阿利克斯·斯皮格尔和朱莉·斯奈德共同制作。
Senior editor Paul Tough.
高级编辑保罗·托夫。
Contributing editors Jack Hitt, Margy Rochlin, and Sarah Vowell.
特约编辑杰克·希特、玛吉·罗克林和莎拉·沃威尔。
Production help today from Rachel Day and [?
今天，雷切尔·戴 (Rachel Day) 和 [?
Sohini ?] Davenport.
索希尼？]达文波特。
To buy a cassette of this program, call us at WBEZ here in Chicago.
要购买该节目的磁带，请致电芝加哥的 WBEZ。
The phone number, 312-832-3380.
电话号码：312-832-3380。
See?
看？
I put in all those pauses.
我把所有这些停顿都加进去了。
Was that good?
这样好吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Wonderful.
精彩的。
Ira Glass 312-832-3380.
艾拉·玻璃 312-832-3380。
Our email address, [?
我们的电子邮件地址，[?
[email protected] .
[电子邮件受保护]。
?].
？]。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia, who reminds you--
Torey Malatia 负责 WBEZ 管理监督，他提醒您——
Don't die in Utah.
别死在犹他州。
Ira Glass Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 下周将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
I'm Barry Glass.
我是巴里·格拉斯。
Ira Glass Don't drive like my father.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：别像我父亲那样开车。
And don't drive like me.
还有别像我一样开车。
Announcer PRI.
播音员 PRI。
Public Radio International.
国际公共广播电台。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。