91: Escape the Box - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #91 | January 30, 1998 91: Escape the Box Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 91 集 | 1998 年 1 月 30 日 91：逃出盒子 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Act One: An American Girl Turns 18 Ira Glass Sylvia's parents are immigrants, very traditional.
第一幕：一个美国女孩年满 18 岁 Ira Glass 西尔维娅的父母是移民，非常传统。
And in Sylvia's house, the men are men, the women are women, just like back in the old country.
在西尔维娅的家里，男人就是男人，女人就是女人，就像回到了祖国一样。
My brother goes, "Oh, I want tortillas." And my mom, just like right there on, she'll just turn off the TV and she'll go make them.
我哥哥说：“哦，我想要玉米饼。”我妈妈就像刚才一样，她会关掉电视然后去做。
And my brother goes, "I want money." And my mom's right there taking my money.
我哥哥说：“我想要钱。”我妈妈就在那里拿走我的钱。
He goes, "Wash this shirt for me.
他说：“帮我洗这件衬衫。
I want to wear it tomorrow." And there goes my mom, washing the shirt.
我明天想穿它。”我妈妈去洗衬衫了。
And it's not like that with me.
但我的情况并非如此。
That's the way she thinks.
她就是这么想的。
That's the way she is.
她就是这样。
She's like, he's a boy.
她就像，他是个男孩。
For instance, he can't cook for himself.
例如，他不会自己做饭。
He's a boy.
他是个男孩。
He can't do this because he's a boy.
他不能这样做，因为他是个男孩。
That's a woman's job.
那是女人的工作。
My mom always has this little saying that really annoys me.
我妈妈总是有这样一句话让我很恼火。
Sometimes when the house is dirty, she says, "Oh, it looks like there's never been women in the house," making it sound like women are supposed to clean.
有时当房子脏了时，她会说，“哦，看起来房子里从来没有女人”，听起来就像女人应该打扫卫生一样。
And I'm thinking, Dad can clean.
我在想，爸爸可以打扫卫生。
She goes, "No, he's supposed to be in the garage fixing the car or something."
她说：“不，他应该在车库修车什么的。”
It's a typical American story in this country.
这是这个国家的一个典型的美国故事。
From the time she was little, Sylvia spoke English better than her parents.
从很小的时候起，西尔维娅的英语就比她的父母说得更好。
She was the one in the family who'd call the phone company or the utilities.
她是家里唯一给电话公司或公用事业公司打电话的人。
She translated teacher conferences.
她翻译了教师会议。
If the family was going somewhere and needed directions, Sylvia was the one who would walk up to a stranger and ask for them.
如果一家人要去某个地方需要指路，西尔维娅就会走到陌生人面前询问方向。
And now, nearly grown up, she wants to be an American girl in a way that her parents don't completely understand.
现在，她快长大了，她想以一种她父母不完全理解的方式成为一个美国女孩。
She goes to a big, integrated public school.
她在一所大型综合性公立学校上学。
A few years ago, she started listening to The Cranberries and Nirvana and Metallica, not the kind of stuff her parents knew growing up in small towns in rural Mexico.
几年前，她开始听 The Cranberry、Nirvana 和 Metallica，而不是她父母在墨西哥乡村小镇长大时所听的音乐。
My mom wants me to be a typical Mexican girl.
我妈妈希望我成为一个典型的墨西哥女孩。
When I was younger, before I had my cotillion, I used to start liking alternative music.
当我年轻的时候，在我拥有舞会之前，我曾经开始喜欢另类音乐。
Cotillion's like a coming out party when you turn 15.
Cotilion 就像你 15 岁时的出柜派对。
Yeah, when you turn 15.
是的，当你15岁的时候。
You have a huge party.
你有一个盛大的聚会。
You get your own beautiful dress.
你会得到属于你自己的漂亮衣服。
It's long, and it's big.
它很长，而且很大。
I started liking alternative music around the age of 14, around the time they started making my cotillion.
我在 14 岁左右开始喜欢另类音乐，大约在那时他们开始为我制作舞会。
And I remember my cousins used to say, oh, as soon as you hit your cotillion, you're going to start liking Mexican music.
我记得我的表兄弟曾经说过，哦，一旦你开始参加舞会，你就会开始喜欢墨西哥音乐。
And we're going to start taking you out.
我们将开始带你出去。
Because in my family, as soon as you hit 15, you're allowed to go to Mexican dances.
因为在我家，只要你一满 15 岁，你就可以去参加墨西哥舞会。
But you usually go with your older cousins.
但你通常和你的表兄弟姐妹一起去。
And that's where my mom wanted in me.
这就是我妈妈对我的期望。
My mom wanted me to be like my cousins.
我妈妈希望我像我的表兄弟姐妹一样。
They went to Mexican dances.
他们去参加墨西哥舞会。
They had Mexican boyfriends.
他们有墨西哥男朋友。
I mean, she wanted me to dress like them.
我的意思是，她希望我穿得像他们一样。
She didn't want me to dress kind of alternative.
她不想让我穿得另类。
And now sometimes we get into fights and I tell my mom, I'm not like my cousins.
现在有时我们会打架，我告诉妈妈，我不像我的表兄弟姐妹。
I'm like, my cousins are already like 19, 18, and they're already pregnant or married.
我想，我的表兄弟姐妹已经 19、18 岁了，他们已经怀孕或结婚了。
I'm like, is that what you want me to do with my life?
我想，这就是你想要我做的事吗？
This weekend, this is a particularly urgent question in Sylvia's life.
这个周末，这是西尔维娅生活中一个特别紧迫的问题。
This weekend, January 31, 1998, Sylvia turns 18.
1998 年 1 月 31 日这个周末，西尔维娅就满 18 岁了。
She's legally recognized as an adult, capable of deciding for herself what she'll do with her life.
她在法律上被承认为成年人，有能力自己决定自己的生活。
And she and her mom have been talking about what she's going to do.
她和她妈妈一直在谈论她要做什么。
Sylvia wants to go to a four year college, wait to get married, wait to have kids.
西尔维娅想要上四年制大学，等待结婚，等待生孩子。
And her mom is trying to understand.
她的妈妈正在努力理解。
Sometimes she's kind of like, yeah, do what you want.
有时她会说，是的，做你想做的事吧。
Do what you want.
做你想做的事。
Become whatever you want.
成为你想要的任何东西。
And there's just times where, like, why do you want to do that?
有时，你会想，你为什么要这么做？
Why do you want to do that?
你为什么要这么做？
Why do you think you're better than everybody?
为什么你认为你比所有人都优秀？
Why do you think you're special?
为什么你认为你很特别？
I'm like, Ma, I don't think I'm special.
我想，妈妈，我不认为我很特别。
I just want to do something with my life.
我只想用我的一生做点什么。
When her mom was young, back in Tamaulipas, her mom wanted to go to school.
当她妈妈年轻时，回到塔毛利帕斯州，她妈妈想去上学。
She was admitted to a good school nearby, but her grandfather told her no. He said the only reason the girls go to school is to get boyfriends.
她考上了附近一所好学校，但她的祖父拒绝了她。他说女孩们上学的唯一原因是为了交男朋友。
So she stopped going in sixth grade.
所以她六年级就不再上学了。
Now she spends most of her time at home, raising Sylvia's brother and sister, taking care of the house, rarely leaving the house.
现在她大部分时间都呆在家里，抚养西尔维娅的弟弟妹妹，打理房子，很少出门。
My mom has lived in a box all her life, and I feel like a lot of Mexican women have.
我妈妈一生都生活在一个盒子里，我觉得很多墨西哥女人也一样。
When you live in a box, you raise your children in a box.
当你住在一个盒子里时，你就在一个盒子里抚养你的孩子。
And sometimes I'll just try to climb out.
有时我会尝试爬出去。
And she's like pushing me in or I'm trying to poke a hole in the box and she tapes it right back up.
她就像把我推了进去，或者我试图在盒子上戳一个洞，她就把它重新粘起来。
Well, today on our radio program, Escaping the Box You were Born Into.
好吧，今天我们的广播节目《逃离你出生的盒子》。
From WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International, it's This American Life .
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 和国际公共广播电台的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week, of course, we choose a theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program in three acts.
今天的节目分三幕。
Act One, An American Girl Turns 18.
第一幕，一个美国女孩 18 岁了。
Act Two, $33 Million Box, the true story of a successful Cincinnati businessman millionaire who escaped his old life and created a new one in one single day by robbing a bank.
第二幕，价值 3300 万美元的盒子，讲述了一位成功的辛辛那提商人百万富翁的真实故事，他通过抢劫银行逃离了旧的生活，并在一天之内创造了新的生活。
Act Three, The Feeling You Want and the Feeling You Get.
第三幕，你想要的感觉和你得到的感觉。
We have an excerpt from David Cale's funny and thrilling story of a middle-aged woman who escapes the box of her own life.
我们摘录了大卫·凯尔（David Cale）有趣而惊心动魄的故事，讲述了一位中年妇女逃离自己生活的盒子的故事。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, American Girl Turns 18.
第一幕，美国女孩 18 岁生日。
So Sylvia is living at home, senior in high school, engaged in an ongoing discussion with her mom about what she should be after graduation in four months and whether she'll live a life like her mom's.
西尔维娅（Sylvia）高中四年级，住在家里，与她的妈妈不断讨论四个月后毕业后她应该做什么，以及她是否会像她妈妈那样生活。
She's too scared to get out of the box.
她太害怕了，不敢走出盒子。
She is.
她是。
She even told me.
她甚至告诉我。
She's just too scared.
她只是太害怕了。
I mean, if she has to go to my godmother's house, all she has to do do is take one bus and go straight.
我的意思是，如果她要去我干妈家，她所要做的就是乘坐一辆公共汽车然后直走。
And she just gets off at a certain stop and walks a block or two.
她只是在某个站点下车，然后步行一两个街区。
That scares my mom that she's by herself.
我妈妈很害怕她一个人。
It scares the hell out of her being by herself.
这让她独自一人感到害怕。
It just really scares her.
这真的让她害怕。
And I'm always by myself.
而我总是一个人。
And I'm always doing things by myself.
而且我总是自己做事。
And I'm always doing things that I want.
而且我总是在做我想做的事情。
And I think sometimes she admires me that I'm not scared, but at the same time, she just doesn't-- it's like she admires me that I'm not scared, but I think at the same time she hates me because she's scared.
我想有时她钦佩我，因为我不害怕，但同时，她就是不——就像她钦佩我，因为我不害怕，但我想同时她恨我，因为她害怕。
I would guess it's just the typical Mexican family, where you're married and you have children and you die together.
我猜这就是典型的墨西哥家庭，你们结婚生子，然后一起死去。
And you travel once in a while to your homeland, and you have usually Mexican music and laughter and drinking and partying.
你偶尔会回到自己的祖国，通常会听到墨西哥音乐、欢笑、饮酒和聚会。
And all the cousins coming together and all the aunts coming together.
所有的表兄弟姐妹都聚集在一起，所有的阿姨也聚集在一起。
Do you think she's unhappy?
你觉得她不幸福吗？
I mean, that sounds like it could be actually kind of nice.
我的意思是，这听起来确实不错。
Yeah, it could be nice, but, I mean, when you only hang around with that kind of people and that certain people and they're-- because they're kind of also-- not like bigots or something, but they're also really-- kind of like the way she thinks.
是的，这可能很好，但是，我的意思是，当你只和那种人、某些人在一起时，他们——因为他们也——不像偏执狂什么的，但他们也真的——有点像她的想法。
And they're not so crazy about people who think differently.
他们并不那么热衷于那些有不同想法的人。
Yeah, it's kind of like I'm the outcast of the family.
是的，这有点像我是家庭的弃儿。
I'm like the black sheep.
我就像害群之马。
That's why I really never depended on my parents because I really never had them when I wanted them.
这就是为什么我真的从来不依赖我的父母，因为当我想要他们的时候，我真的从来没有拥有过他们。
And also I never really asked for anything.
而且我从来没有真正要求过任何东西。
I never really wanted anything from them.
我从来没有真正想要从他们那里得到任何东西。
And now that I'm almost going to turn 18, they noticed that I really don't ask anything from them.
现在我快满 18 岁了，他们注意到我真的不向他们要求任何东西。
I remember one time.
我记得有一次。
It's really specific.
这真的很具体。
It happened last year.
事情发生在去年。
It just popped into my head.
它突然出现在我的脑海里。
I remember that my grandparents come every summer.
我记得每年夏天我的祖父母都会来。
And all the uncles and aunts come to the house because our grandparents are there and stuff like that.
所有的叔叔阿姨都来家里，因为我们的祖父母在那里，诸如此类。
And I was working, and when I came home, one of my aunts came.
我正在工作，当我回到家时，我的一位阿姨来了。
She's the second oldest in the family, and I find her really bitter.
她是家里的老二，我觉得她很苦毒。
She's my aunt, and I love her and stuff like that, but she's really bitter.
她是我的阿姨，我爱她之类的，但她真的很刻薄。
And she had told my mom that really got me mad.
她告诉我妈妈这真的让我很生气。
This woman who I talk to maybe once or twice a year.
我每年可能会和这个女人交谈一两次。
And because my mom was raised by this aunt-- she sees her as a mother figure, too-- she has a lot of respect for her.
因为我妈妈是由这位阿姨抚养长大的——她也将她视为母亲的形象——所以她非常尊重她。
She told my mom that the day that I grew up, I'm going to be ashamed of my parents and especially of her because she has no education and because she's an immigrant of this country.
她告诉我妈妈，当我长大的那一天，我将为我的父母，尤其是她感到羞耻，因为她没有受过教育，而且因为她是这个国家的移民。
And I told my mom, how dare she say that?
我告诉我妈妈，她怎么敢这么说？
She knows nothing about me.
她对我一无所知。
Does she want me to become like her kids?
她希望我变得像她的孩子一样吗？
Her oldest daughter got pregnant at 16.
她的大女儿16岁时怀孕了。
And her youngest son is kind of like a drifter.
而她的小儿子则有点像个漂泊者。
He really doesn't know what he does.
他真的不知道自己在做什么。
And I'm like, this woman has the idea that I'm going to be ashamed of my mom because I'm going to have an education and because I'm going to have a career?
我想，这个女人认为我会为我的妈妈感到羞耻，因为我要接受教育，因为我要拥有一份职业？
I suggest to Sylvia that her parents might understand her situation better than she acknowledges.
我向西尔维娅建议，她的父母可能比她承认的更了解她的处境。
After all, they themselves escaped the box of their own early lives, uprooted themselves from rural Mexico to inner city Chicago, to a country where they didn't even speak the language.
毕竟，他们自己逃离了早年生活的束缚，从墨西哥乡村搬到了芝加哥市中心，来到了一个他们甚至不会说这种语言的国家。
Sylvia doesn't buy it.
西尔维娅并不买账。
But as we talk, one of the most striking things is how there's still a part of her, the biggest part of her, that wants her parents to simply understand her and how she sees her own life.
但正如我们所说，最引人注目的事情之一是她的一部分，她最大的一部分，希望她的父母能够简单地理解她以及她如何看待自己的生活。
She still wants to be part of the family.
她仍然想成为这个家庭的一员。
It's like this, sometimes you usually see my mom and my brother talking and stuff like that, and they're goofing off.
是这样的，有时候你经常会看到我妈妈和我弟弟在聊天之类的，然后他们就在偷懒。
You see my little sister-- sorry.
你看到我的小妹妹了——抱歉。
Do you want some water?
你想要一些水吗？
Sylvia No, that's OK.
西尔维娅 不，没关系。
Usually I see my little sister and my dad talking and playing.
通常我看到我的妹妹和我的爸爸聊天、玩耍。
Or sometimes you see my mom and my little sister laughing and stuff like that.
或者有时候你会看到我妈妈和我妹妹在笑之类的东西。
And I'm usually in another room doing my own thing.
我通常在另一个房间做自己的事情。
I usually never do anything with her.
我通常不会和她做任何事。
And do you feel like that's mostly your choice, that that's the way that you want it?
你是否觉得这主要是你的选择，这就是你想要的方式？
Sometimes I do because a lot of the things that they want me to do, I don't want to do.
有时我这样做是因为他们想让我做的很多事情我不想做。
And it really hurts me that they're not really supportive.
他们并不真正支持我，这真的让我很伤心。
So I guess I just try to move myself away from them so they won't hurt me as much.
所以我想我只是想办法让自己远离他们，这样他们就不会伤害我太多。
But they don't understand that.
但他们不明白这一点。
They think I'm too strong to be hurt.
他们认为我太坚强了，不会受到伤害。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, but I mean they're not right about that.
是的，但我的意思是他们在这一点上是不对的。
No, they're not.
不，他们不是。
Ira Glass But getting out of the box doesn't necessarily mean you're any happier.
Ira Glass：但是打破常规并不一定意味着你会更快乐。
There are plenty of people who start off in a life that's really in a box and get out of it and change all the time.
有很多人的生活一开始就被困在盒子里，然后就摆脱了盒子，不断地改变。
And that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be happy.
这并不一定意味着你会快乐。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass You can be happy in the box or out of the box.
Ira Glass 无论是在盒子里还是在盒子外，你都可以感到高兴。
Do you have a sense of what kind of job you might want to yet?
您是否知道自己可能想要从事什么样的工作？
I have an idea.
我有一个主意。
I want this job that-- because I want to do digital effects, special digital effects.
我想要这份工作——因为我想做数字效果，特殊的数字效果。
Like for movies and stuff.
比如电影之类的。
Sylvia Yeah, like Jurassic Park and Men in Black and stuff like that.
西尔维娅 是的，比如《侏罗纪公园》和《黑衣人》之类的。
I think it's so cool.
我觉得这太酷了。
I just want one day to have a job.
我只想有一天能找到一份工作。
I usually think of myself sitting, having not like an office to myself but usually have an open space with a lot of different equipment everywhere and sitting in front of the computer and doing all these things on the computer and animating.
我通常认为自己坐着，不像自己的办公室，但通常有一个开放的空间，到处都有很多不同的设备，坐在电脑前，在电脑上做所有这些事情并制作动画。
And getting really frustrated because it takes me like six months to do like a five-second little scene.
我真的很沮丧，因为我花了六个月的时间才完成一个五秒钟的小场景。
It's just doing my own thing, not have to get dressed up, go casual, have an eyebrow ring or something on, how my hair whatever color I want, have a real cool boss.
这只是做我自己的事情，不必打扮得漂漂亮亮，穿得很休闲，戴上眉环什么的，我的头发无论我想要什么颜色，都有一个真正酷的老板。
But that's just a dream.
但这只是一个梦。
Have you seen those specials on TV where they show here's how they make these special effects and you see the people and what they look like who do all that work?
您是否在电视上看过那些特别节目，其中展示了他们如何制作这些特效，您看到了完成所有工作的人和他们的样子吗？
I've seen the making of Jurassic Park and Titanic and the Space Jam .
我看过《侏罗纪公园》、《泰坦尼克号》和《太空大灌篮》的制作过程。
And that's what I want to do, just use my imagination and make this thing blow up or something.
这就是我想做的，只要发挥我的想象力，让这件事爆炸什么的。
What's your biggest fear in trying to get out of the box?
在尝试摆脱束缚的过程中，你最害怕的是什么？
Failing.
失败了。
That's my biggest fear is failing.
我最大的恐惧就是失败。
Because I've done so many things.
因为我做了很多事情。
I've done so many organizations.
我做过很多组织。
I've done so many clubs.
我参加过很多俱乐部。
I did all these classes and all these grades.
我完成了所有这些课程和所有这些成绩。
And it's just going to go to waste.
它只会被浪费。
That's my biggest fear that it's going to go to waste, that all that I did is going to amount to nothing.
这是我最大的恐惧，担心它会被浪费，我所做的一切都会化为乌有。
And if you failed, what would it be?
如果你失败了，那会是什么？
Like what would you be?
就像你会是什么样子？
What would be my failure?
我的失败会是什么？
Ira Glass What would happen to you?
艾拉·格拉斯 你会发生什么？
Yeah.
是的。
I would become working an $11 an hour job at like 25 with already two kids and a husband and just doing that, day by day doing the same thing over and over.
我大概 25 岁时就开始了一份时薪 11 美元的工作，已经有了两个孩子和一个丈夫，就这样，日复一日地一遍又一遍地做同样的事情。
And what could make you fail?
什么会让你失败？
Sylvia I don't know.
西尔维娅 我不知道。
Sometimes I feel like my ambition's going to die out.
有时我觉得我的野心快要破灭了。
It's kind of like you rebel against everybody because you think you know what you're doing and you know you want to achieve more and you want to do more.
这有点像你反抗所有人，因为你认为你知道自己在做什么，你知道你想要取得更多成就，你想做更多。
But every time you take another step, it just hits you right in the face like, ha, ha, ha, you can't do it.
但每次你再迈出一步，它就会打在你的脸上，就像，哈哈哈，你做不到。
Go back into your line.
回到你的队伍中。
And after a while, you just get really tired of all the closing of the doors and telling you, no, you can't do this.
过了一段时间，你真的厌倦了所有关门的事，并告诉你，不，你不能这样做。
And you're like, well, maybe they are right.
你会想，好吧，也许他们是对的。
One day I'll just get tired and I'll just say, you win.
有一天我会累了，我会说，你赢了。
And do you feel like if you don't get out by the time you're 22 or 23 or 24, it's probably at that's when it would all die, like that's when your ambition would die and you would stay?
你是否觉得，如果你在 22 岁、23 岁或 24 岁的时候不离开，那么一切可能都会在那时消亡，就像那时你的野心会消亡而你会留下来一样？
Yeah, unless I change or something, unless all of a sudden something happens and my parents are supportive.
是的，除非我改变什么的，除非突然发生什么事并且我的父母支持我。
And I don't get into fights as much anymore and I feel like I'm actually wanted around the house or something, and then I feel like I'm happy, like I'm actually happy to be home.
我不再那么频繁地打架了，我觉得我真的被需要在家里或者其他什么地方，然后我觉得我很高兴，就像我真的很高兴回到家一样。
Then I wouldn't mind, but I just hope that when I actually do achieve what I want, that is, I want them to say, yeah, she did it.
那我不介意，但我只是希望当我真正实现我想要的目标时，也就是说，我希望他们说，是的，她做到了。
She did it.
她做到了。
I guess I was wrong.
我想我错了。
Sylvia turns 18 this weekend.
本周末西尔维娅就满 18 岁了。
Happy birthday.
生日快乐。
Good luck.
祝你好运。
Act Two.
第二幕。
You know who it's been a hard week for?
你知道这对谁来说是艰难的一周吗？
It's been a hard week to be an intern.
作为一名实习生，这是艰难的一周。
In fact, you could reasonably argue that in the history of interns, this past week or two, in late January 1998, they have been the low point.
事实上，你可以合理地认为，在实习生的历史上，过去一两周，即 1998 年 1 月下旬，是实习生的最低点。
An intern here at WBEZ Chicago, home of This American Life , told me that she was waiting for the L train this week.
《This American Life》的所在地芝加哥 WBEZ 的一名实习生告诉我，她这周正在等 L 火车。
And she's standing there, and this guy strikes up a conversation.
她站在那里，这个家伙开始搭讪。
And they're talking about this and that.
他们正在谈论这个和那个。
And he says to her at some point, so what do you do?
他有时对她说，那你该怎么办？
And she tells him that she's an intern.
她告诉他她是实习生。
And he says, oh, really?
他说，哦，真的吗？
As if she'd just told him, my job, I'm a slut.
就好像她刚刚告诉他，我的工作，我是个荡妇。
That's my job.
这就是我的工作。
Our senior editor Paul Tough was once an intern.
我们的高级编辑 Paul Tough 曾经是一名实习生。
I started in public radio as an intern at National Public Radio in Washington 19 years ago.
19 年前，我在华盛顿国家公共广播电台实习，开始涉足公共广播事业。
In fact, I would not have escaped the box that I grew up in if not for that internship.
事实上，如果没有那次实习，我就无法逃脱我成长的盒子。
I would not be in radio at all.
我根本不会在电台工作。
We at This American Life are a staff of former interns.
我们“This American Life”的员工都是前实习生。
Producers Alix Spiegel, Nancy Updike, Julie Snyder, all former interns.
制片人阿利克斯·斯皮格尔、南希·厄普代克、朱莉·斯奈德都是前实习生。
And so, to strike a small blow for the dignity of interns everywhere in this dire, dire hour our own This American Life intern, the capable and serious-minded Rachel Day will introduce our next act here on the program.
因此，为了在这个可怕的时刻，我们自己的“美国生活”实习生，能干且严肃的雷切尔·戴（Rachel Day）将在节目中介绍我们的下一幕，为了给各地实习生的尊严带来小小的打击。
Welcome to the show, Rachel.
欢迎来到这个节目，雷切尔。
Rachel Day Thank you, Ira.
雷切尔·戴 谢谢你，艾拉。
OK.
好的。
You ready to do this?
你准备好这样做了吗？
Rachel Day I think so.
雷切尔·戴 我想是的。
All right.
好的。
Here we go.
开始了。
Here's the keys to the radio show.
这是广播节目的钥匙。
Drive safe.
安全驾驶。
Bring it back home in one piece.
一件一件地带回家。
I think we're ready to go.
我想我们已经准备好出发了。
Act Two, $33 Million Box.
第二幕，价值 3300 万美元的盒子。
Barry Miller didn't have the kind of life you'd think he'd want to escape.
巴里·米勒（Barry Miller）并没有过着你认为他想要逃避的生活。
He owned a clothing store in Cincinnati that was worth $33 million.
他在辛辛那提拥有一家价值 3300 万美元的服装店。
He could buy whatever he wanted, took $15,000 vacations with his family.
他可以买任何他想要的东西，和家人一起享受 15,000 美元的假期。
But he was unhappy.
但他不高兴。
And one day, he permanently escaped his old life and entered his new one with one simple and unorthodox act.
有一天，他以一种简单而非正统的举动，永久地摆脱了旧的生活，进入了新的生活。
He robbed a bank.
他抢劫了一家银行。
Alex Blumberg talked with him at the Hocking Correctional Facility in Nelsonville, Ohio.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格在俄亥俄州纳尔逊维尔的霍金惩教所与他进行了交谈。
If you ask Barry Miller what was wrong with making lots of money, he'll tell you this.
如果你问巴里·米勒赚很多钱有什么问题，他会告诉你这一点。
He used to go to Rome at least twice a year, but he never saw the Coliseum.
他以前每年至少去罗马两次，但从未见过罗马斗兽场。
He never went to the Vatican.
他从未去过梵蒂冈。
If his business was over in the morning, he'd find a flight back in the afternoon.
如果早上的事情结束了，他就会找到下午的航班回来。
He was driven.
他被驱使着。
His relationship with his family suffered.
他与家人的关系受到了影响。
In Dallas once, I was with my oldest son, my middle child.
有一次在达拉斯，我和我的大儿子、老二在一起。
And I never spent a lot of time with him.
而且我从来没有花很多时间和他在一起。
I would try to go to his soccer games or those kinds of things, but I never really made it on time.
我会尝试去观看他的足球比赛或类似的活动，但我从来没有真正准时到达。
I got there at the last quarter.
我是在上个季度到达那里的。
So we were out.
所以我们出去了。
We were driving around.
我们开车到处走走。
And here I am with my son, and I have so very little to talk to him about and so little that I can relate with him about.
我和我的儿子在一起，我和他没什么可说的，也没什么可以和他联系的。
We started talking about cars.
我们开始谈论汽车。
And so I thought, well, he's interested in cars.
所以我想，嗯，他对汽车感兴趣。
Let's go buy a car.
我们去买辆车吧。
So I went to buy a car.
于是我就去买车了。
We bought a car.
我们买了一辆车。
Didn't need a car.
不需要汽车。
I could afford to buy a car.
我有能力买一辆车。
We went to buy a car.
我们去买车了。
Looking back, he says he was shallow and vain.
回想起来，他说自己很浅薄、很虚荣。
He says he was worshiping false gods.
他说他崇拜假神。
At the time though, he only felt a vague nagging that something wasn't right.
At the time though, he only felt a vague nagging that something wasn't right.
But he says gradually that feeling became more insistent and took stranger forms.
But he says gradually that feeling became more insistent and took stranger forms.
For instance, he says, he started blacking out, losing hours in the day.
For instance, he says, he started blacking out, losing hours in the day.
I was in New York on business, and I lost an afternoon.
I was in New York on business, and I lost an afternoon.
I didn't really know where I was, what I was doing.
我真的不知道我在哪里，我在做什么。
I ended up finding myself sitting in a lounge in a building that I recall going into because I had some business to do there, but it was three hours later.
我最终发现自己坐在一栋大楼的休息室里，我记得我进去是因为在那里有一些事情要做，但那是三个小时后的事了。
I don't know what I did for those three hours.
我不知道这三个小时我做了什么。
Sometimes you actually make a real decision to change your life and you set about doing it.
Sometimes you actually make a real decision to change your life and you set about doing it.
But just as often, you find yourself sort of edging toward the new life, half consciously.
But just as often, you find yourself sort of edging toward the new life, half consciously.
Part of you goes on as you always have while another part secretly plots an ambush.
Part of you goes on as you always have while another part secretly plots an ambush.
Barry Miller's case is as extreme as you can get.
Barry Miller's case is as extreme as you can get.
When he describes what happened, it's like he's describing a person in a trance.
When he describes what happened, it's like he's describing a person in a trance.
The day before the bank robbery, I drove by a car rental place.
The day before the bank robbery, I drove by a car rental place.
And I stopped.
我停了下来。
And I rented a car.
我租了一辆车。
Now, I have two cars, one I used and one my wife used.
Now, I have two cars, one I used and one my wife used.
I rented a car.
我租了一辆车。
I really don't know why I rented the car, but I rented the car.
I really don't know why I rented the car, but I rented the car.
And I continued on my way home, and I recall that we were out of fax paper.
And I continued on my way home, and I recall that we were out of fax paper.
And I drive by a Sam's, which is where we used to get our fax paper from.
And I drive by a Sam's, which is where we used to get our fax paper from.
And Sam's is on the right side of the road, and on the left side of the road is a Kmart.
And Sam's is on the right side of the road, and on the left side of the road is a Kmart.
So I'm headed toward Sam's to get the fax paper, and I turn into the Kmart lot instead of the Sam's lot.
于是我去山姆店拿传真纸，然后我转进了凯马特停车场，而不是山姆店。
And I bought a ski mask.
我还买了一个滑雪面罩。
And this is September, so they're not really out for sale.
现在是九月，所以它们并没有真正出售。
And I had ski masks at home.
我家里有滑雪面罩。
I bought a ski mask, and I know I bought the ski mask because at some point in time I come to and I'm sitting in the car and here I have a package with a ski mask in it.
我买了一个滑雪面罩，我知道我买了滑雪面罩，因为在某个时间点我醒来，我坐在车里，这里有一个装有滑雪面罩的包裹。
I don't remember buying it, but I know I bought it.
I don't remember buying it, but I know I bought it.
The next day, I get up.
第二天，我起床。
And I put into my briefcase a gun and a box of bullets.
我在公文包里放了一把枪和一盒子弹。
And regress a bit.
并退步一点。
I bought this gun on June 16 of '95.
我是95年6月16日买的这把枪。
That would have been 15 months before I used it.
那是我使用它之前的 15 个月。
I bought the gun because I was going to commit suicide.
我买枪是因为我要自杀。
I had taken the gun.
我已经拿走了枪。
We had a balcony on this condo.
我们的这套公寓有一个阳台。
And I took the gun one night, and I shot it into the woods.
一天晚上我拿起枪，把它射进树林里。
I had never shot a gun in my life.
我一生中从未开过枪。
I wanted to know how I felt because I figured if I'm going to put it to my head, I wanted to know where to put it.
我想知道我的感受，因为我想如果我要把它放在脑子里，我想知道把它放在哪里。
15 months later, I get the gun, put it in my briefcase.
15个月后，我拿到了枪，把它放进了我的公文包里。
I leave.
我离开。
And from there I don't really remember exactly what happened.
从那时起我就不太记得到底发生了什么。
I don't know how I got to the bank.
我不知道我是怎么到银行的。
I don't know how I picked that bank or that location.
我不知道我是如何选择那家银行或那个地点的。
I don't recall specific incidences.
我不记得具体的事件了。
Do you remember what you said to the teller?
你还记得你对柜员说的话吗？
Do you remember?
你是否记得？
Not exactly.
不完全是。
She said at the trial that I said something, give me all of your money, typical what you see in movies.
她在庭审时说我说了一句话，把你所有的钱都给我，就像你在电影中看到的那样。
I don't really remember.
我不太记得了。
She said, give me all your money.
她说，把你的钱都给我吧。
She hadn't given me all of the money, and I said, all of it or something like that.
她没有给我所有的钱，我说，全部或者类似的东西。
I really don't remember.
我真的不记得了。
What I remember is only from what she said at the trial.
我所记得的只是她在审判时所说的话。
When he robbed the bank, he was earning well into six figures a year.
当他抢劫银行时，他的年收入已达到六位数。
His take from the robbery, $8,000.
他从抢劫中获得的收入为 8,000 美元。
It's a lot to swallow, really, rob a bank, then claim not to remember it, especially when you bought a ski mask and rented a car the day before.
真的，要吞下很多东西，抢了一家银行，然后声称不记得了，尤其是当你前一天买了滑雪面罩并租了一辆车的时候。
And it's possible that Miller made up the story about not remembering when he went to trial.
米勒也有可能编造了不记得自己何时受审的故事。
He plead innocent by reason of insanity.
他以精神错乱为由辩称无罪。
The judge didn't buy it.
法官并不买账。
I talked to Steve Tolbert, the prosecutor in Miller's criminal trial.
我与米勒刑事审判中的检察官史蒂夫·托尔伯特进行了交谈。
He says it's possible that Miller was in a kind of a haze when he robbed the bank.
他说米勒抢劫银行时可能处于某种迷茫状态。
He'd certainly never heard that defense before.
他以前肯定从未听过这种辩护。
But for Tolbert, it was immaterial.
但对于托尔伯特来说，这并不重要。
Either way, Miller was guilty of the crime.
不管怎样，米勒都犯了罪。
But even Tolbert questions why a man who could have gotten a substantial loan from any bank in the city would actually need to hold one up for money.
但就连托尔伯特也质疑，为什么一个本来可以从城里任何一家银行获得大笔贷款的人实际上却需要持有一笔贷款。
And more importantly, why would he have bungled the job so badly?
更重要的是，为什么他会把这项工作搞得如此糟糕？
When Miller lays out the facts, it's hard to believe this workaholic, super achiever was really trying to get away with it.
当米勒陈述事实时，很难相信这位工作狂、超级成就者真的想逃脱惩罚。
Again, if this was a robbery to really get some money, I got to think I would have selected a place that wasn't on a busy street, a busy corner with a police station two blocks away.
再说一次，如果这是一次真正为了钱的抢劫，我想我会选择一个不在繁忙街道上的地方，一个繁忙的角落，两个街区外有一个警察局。
But in any event, my most vivid memories are after the bank robbery, where here I am, walking down the street that's relatively busy.
但无论如何，我最生动的记忆是银行抢劫案之后，我在这里，走在相对繁忙的街道上。
The parking lot to the bank where I parked my car is in the back.
我停车的银行停车场就在后面。
I mean, I didn't even park in front.
我的意思是，我什至没有把车停在前面。
I had to walk a quarter of a block to get to the car.
我必须步行四分之一个街区才能到车旁。
And I'm walking with a gun in my hand and a mask on my face at whatever time that was in the morning.
无论早上什么时候，我都会手里拿着枪，脸上戴着口罩。
It wasn't Halloween.
这不是万圣节。
The police came relatively quickly.
警察来得比较快。
The bag that had the money in it, the dye thing exploded.
装着钱的袋子，染料的东西爆炸了。
This big cop with a gun is yelling at me, get down on the ground, get down on the ground.
这个拿着枪的大警察对我大喊大叫，趴在地上，趴在地上。
I really didn't totally comprehend all of what he was saying, but I eventually did.
我确实没有完全理解他所说的一切，但我最终还是理解了。
And I got down on the ground.
然后我就跪在了地上。
And he handcuffed me, put me into his car, and took me away.
他给我戴上手铐，把我放进他的车里，然后把我带走了。
I'm no longer a rich man.
我不再是一个有钱人了。
I'm no longer a society person.
我不再是一个社会人了。
I'm no longer the person that I was before.
我不再是以前的我了。
I killed that person.
我杀了那个人。
I can create this person that I now want to be.
我可以创造出我现在想成为的人。
I can create a person who has more compassion, a person who wants a different lifestyle, who wants to live a different way.
我可以创造一个更有同情心的人，一个想要不同生活方式的人，一个想要以不同方式生活的人。
I lived on the top of the hill.
我住在山顶上。
I want to live in the valley with everybody else now.
我现在想和其他人一起住在山谷里。
A guy in my position, coming from my socioeconomic background does not do what I did.
一个处于我这个位置、来自我的社会经济背景的人不会做我所做的事情。
You don't go and rob a bank.
你不会去抢劫银行。
So therefore I have now been cast out from my family.
因此，我现在已被逐出我的家人。
And that which they needed from me, I guess I can't give to them.
他们需要我提供的东西，我想我无法给他们。
That which I was supposed to be, I'm now an embarrassment, which is rather remarkable because frankly I now am happier with myself as a person than I was during all of that time.
我本来应该成为的人，现在却感到尴尬，这是相当了不起的，因为坦率地说，我现在对自己作为一个人比以前更满意。
This is maybe the hardest thing of all to swallow.
这可能是所有事情中最难吞咽的。
Talking to Miller, I got a familiar feeling.
与米勒交谈时，我有一种熟悉的感觉。
He sounded like a new convert to a religion or a junkie who's gone clean, like someone desperate to believe what he is saying is true.
他听起来就像一个新皈依宗教的人，或者是一个戒毒的瘾君子，就像一个绝望地相信自己所说的是真的的人。
And who can blame him?
谁能责怪他呢？
When Barry Miller gets out of jail in four years, he's going to have to rebuild a life from scratch.
四年后，巴里·米勒出狱后，他将不得不从头开始重建生活。
No family, no job, 68 years old.
没有家庭，没有工作，68岁。
Despite my doubts, I wanted to believe him too.
尽管我心存疑虑，但我也想相信他。
So Rachel, want to take us to the ID break?
瑞秋，想带我们去身份证破解吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Coming up, lizards, awkwardness, and falling in love from Public Radio International.
来自国际公共广播电台的《蜥蜴》、《尴尬》和《坠入爱河》。
That's in a minute when our program continues.
一会儿我们的节目就继续了。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Rachel Day, the intern here at This American Life.
我是 Rachel Day，《This American Life》的实习生。
Each week, of course, we choose a theme, invite a variety of writers and performers to take a whack at that them.
当然，每周我们都会选择一个主题，邀请各种作家和表演者来尝试一下。
Today's show, Escaping the Box of Your Own life.
今天的节目是《逃离你自己的生活盒子》。
We've arrived at Act Three, The Feeling You Want and the Feeling You Get.
我们已经到了第三幕，你想要的感觉和你得到的感觉。
Good.
好的。
Ira Glass You are a credit to interns everywhere.
Ira Glass 你是世界各地实习生的功劳。
I am so glad.
我很高兴。
Ira Glass In this, their darkest hour.
艾拉·格拉斯 这是他们最黑暗的时刻。
That's right.
这是正确的。
Ira Glass In this act we have a story from David Cale from a show that premiered here at the Goodman Theatre here in Chicago.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 在这一幕中，我们讲述了大卫·凯尔 (David Cale) 在芝加哥古德曼剧院首演的一场演出中的故事。
And in this show, David Cale comes out on stage in black jeans and a corduroy shirt.
在这场演出中，大卫·卡尔 (David Cale) 穿着黑色牛仔裤和灯芯绒衬衫出现在舞台上。
And without dressing as a woman or changing his voice in any way, he simply becomes this middle-aged, good-humored British woman named Lillian.
他没有打扮成女人，也没有以任何方式改变声音，他只是变成了这个名叫莉莲的中年、幽默的英国女人。
The story he tells is of how Lillian escapes the life she's in.
他讲述的故事是关于莉莲如何逃离她现在的生活。
She launches herself out of her old life in this kind of half trance, like the bank robber we heard from earlier but not quite so severe.
她在这种半恍惚的状态下摆脱了过去的生活，就像我们之前听到的银行抢劫犯一样，但没有那么严重。
Lillian take steps to destroy her own life while she's only kind of half conscious that that's exactly what is it that she's trying to do.
莉莲采取措施毁掉自己的生活，而她却半知半解地意识到这正是她想做的事。
And the incident that gets her out of her old life turns out to be so small and awkward and a bit disappointing, but it does the job.
让她摆脱旧生活的事件虽然很小、很尴尬，而且有点令人失望，但它确实起到了作用。
Before we begin this story, a quick warning that there's some sexual content in the story.
在开始这个故事之前，先快速警告一下故事中存在一些色情内容。
No nasty words and, of course, nothing as graphic as the network news this week, but some mild sexual content that might not be appropriate for some younger listeners.
没有脏话，当然也没有像本周的网络新闻那样生动的内容，但有一些温和的色情内容，可能不适合一些年轻的听众。
The thought of someone else inside you is something I could never come to terms with.
想到你内心有另一个人是我永远无法接受的。
Keith had said to me before he went up north on that job, "I could get over somebody kissing you or cuddling, but if someone else went inside, I don't think I could ever touch you again." "Don't be dramatic," I said.
基思在去北方做那份工作之前曾对我说过：“我可以忘记有人亲吻你或拥抱你，但如果有人进去，我想我再也无法碰你了。” “别太戏剧化了，”我说。
"Nobody's going anywhere with me." Then almost a minute, the door shut.
“没有人能和我一起去任何地方。”过了大约一分钟，门关上了。
Keith was hardly in his precious Volvo when I meet little Jimmy in the store, 15 years my junior, with a look on his face the could drag a shipwreck up from the bottom of the ocean.
当我在店里遇见小吉米时，基思刚开着他那辆珍贵的沃尔沃，他比我小 15 岁，他脸上的表情可以把一艘沉船从海底拖上来。
"Wipe that dirty look off your face, Jimmy Foyle," I said, "and stop trying to put your fingers in my mouth.
“吉米·福伊尔，请把你脸上的肮脏表情抹掉，”我说，“别再把手指放进我嘴里了。
I'm a married woman."
我是一个已婚妇女。”
I couldn't believe the words were coming out of me.
我简直不敢相信这些话是从我嘴里说出来的。
It was like my husband just flew out the window.
就像我丈夫刚刚从窗户飞出去一样。
Jimmy was really what I had in mind for a lover before I said yes to Keith.
在我答应基思之前，吉米确实是我心目中的情人。
He was.
他是。
He was the kind of person I always wanted when I was his age but who never seemed interested in me.
他是那种我在他这个年纪时一直想要的人，但他似乎对我从来不感兴趣。
I wasn't generally a Jimmy's type.
我一般不是吉米喜欢的类型。
Jimmys didn't generally take notice of women like me.
吉米斯通常不会注意到像我这样的女人。
We seemed too tame.
我们显得太驯服了。
Jimmy was a wild one.
吉米是个狂野的人。
Rough around the edges, he was a bit of a devil.
他的边缘很粗糙，有点像魔鬼。
Didn't give things a lot of thought the way Keith did.
没有像基思那样对事情进行太多思考。
And he was funny.
他很有趣。
Keith had nothing approaching a sense of humor.
基思毫无幽默感。
Actually, Keith was the only person I knew that didn't find me funny in any way.
事实上，基思是我认识的唯一一个不觉得我有趣的人。
"I can't believe that, Lillian," Jimmy said.
“我简直不敢相信，莉莲，”吉米说。
"You're a riot." "Oh, how refreshing," I thought, "to be found funny again." It was really the idea of a Jimmy coming along that kept me from completely giving over to Keith.
“你这是一场骚乱。” “哦，多么令人耳目一新，”我想，“又发现有趣了。”事实上，正是吉米出现的想法让我无法完全屈服于基思。
I've been holding out for the thought of a Jimmy for a long time.
很长一段时间以来，我一直在等待吉米的想法。
So when he aimed his eyes at me and came on so strong that day, something in me was saying, it would not be a good idea to turn Jimmy down.
因此，那天当他用目光注视着我并表现得如此强烈时，我内心的某种感觉在告诉我，拒绝吉米并不是一个好主意。
It'll be a little fling.
会有一点小事。
You have to work out this Jimmy thing.
你必须解决吉米的事。
Lillian, it's between you and yourself.
莉莲，这是你和你自己之间的事。
Jimmy knew Keith was out of town.
吉米知道基思出城了。
I think he'd even been watching the precious Volvo to see if it was still in the front.
我想他甚至一直在观察那辆珍贵的沃尔沃，看看它是否还在前面。
He invited me over to his house to see his lizards.
他邀请我去他家看他的蜥蜴。
"Lizards?" I said.
“蜥蜴？”我说。
"Yes, lizards," he said.
“是的，蜥蜴，”他说。
"How peculiar," I said.
“多么奇怪啊，”我说。
"All right, Jimmy."
“好吧，吉米。”
He drove his car like he just robbed the bank.
他开车就像抢了银行一样。
We ran a red light.
我们闯红灯了。
"Hold on to your seat, Lillian," I thought.
“莉莲，坐在你的座位上，”我想。
His car didn't have safety belts.
他的车没有安全带。
"I cut them off," he said.
“我把它们剪掉了，”他说。
"They were uncomfortable." I thought about Keith.
“他们感到不舒服。”我想到了基思。
Keith wouldn't start the engine unless everyone was strapped in.
除非每个人都系好安全带，否则基思不会启动引擎。
Jimmy's house was lined with tiny aquariums.
吉米的房子里排列着小水族馆。
He got all excited as he told me what the various lizards were and where they came from.
当他告诉我各种蜥蜴是什么以及它们来自哪里时，他非常兴奋。
He was quite the authority.
他是相当有权威的。
Outside of the store, he looked much younger.
在店外，他看上去年轻了许多。
"God, Lillian," I thought, "what are you doing?"
“天哪，莉莲，”我想，“你在做什么？”
When he made his move on me, it was so sudden.
当他对我采取行动时，一切都那么突然。
Talk about a pounce.
谈论猛扑。
Even the lizards scuttled behind their plastic rocks.
就连蜥蜴也躲在塑料岩石后面。
I immediately felt like I'd been thrown into a wrestling ring.
我立刻感觉自己好像被扔进了摔跤场。
As we were rolling around on his leopard blanket, I must confess, my first thought was, "Am I really enjoying this?" He was so rough and young.
当我们在他的豹纹毯子上打滚时，我必须承认，我的第一个想法是：“我真的很喜欢这个吗？”他是如此粗鲁和年轻。
There was no warming up with Jimmy.
没有和吉米热身。
In fact, much to my surprise, it was dreadful.
事实上，令我惊讶的是，这太可怕了。
It's funny, I realized I'd gotten used to Keith's mouth.
有趣的是，我意识到我已经习惯了基思的嘴。
Jimmy had a smaller mouth.
吉米的嘴较小。
I think Keith's tongue was wider, too.
我认为基思的舌头也更宽。
There was nothing sensual about Jimmy's tongue.
吉米的舌头没有任何性感的成分。
It just sort of flickered around in my mouth, like the tongues of one of those lizards of his.
它只是在我嘴里闪烁，就像他的蜥蜴的舌头一样。
Whatever was wrong with Keith, the sexual part was all right.
无论基思出了什么问题，性方面的问题都没有问题。
Or maybe I'd overrated it, but he was considerate.
也许我高估了它，但他很体贴。
Sexually speaking, I'd say Keith was like a really good waiter in a pretty good restaurant.
从性的角度来说，我想说基思就像一家相当不错的餐厅里的一名非常好的服务员。
Very good service but ultimately disappointing food.
服务非常好，但最终的食物令人失望。
Jimmy seemed to approach the whole thing like it was some form of kung fu or that I was something that needed to be overthrown.
吉米似乎对待整件事就像是某种形式的功夫，或者我是一个需要被推翻的东西。
But believe me, I was just laying there.
但相信我，我只是躺在那里。
He was nervous, bless him.
他很紧张，祝福他。
I tried to get him to ease up.
我试图让他放松下来。
"Slow down," I said, in a voice that was supposed to sound seductive.
“慢点，”我说，声音应该听起来很诱人。
But I have to admit, it did come out rather motherly.
但我不得不承认，它确实显得很有母性。
Then he breathed into my ear.
然后他在我耳边吹了一口气。
"Can I [BLEEP] you, Lillian?" I thought about Keith, what the thought of someone else being inside me would do to him, how it really would be the final straw.
“我可以[哔]你吗，莉莲？”我想到了基思，想到别人在我体内会对他产生什么影响，这真的会成为压垮我的最后一根稻草。
And I said, "Yes, Jimmy.
我说：“是的，吉米。
If you want."
如果你愿意的话。”
What follows is a brief scene that's too graphic to play for you on the radio.
接下来是一个简短的场景，由于太过生动，无法在广播中播放。
Let's just say things take awhile.
我们只是说事情需要一段时间。
Jimmy keeps his eyes scrunched shut.
吉米紧闭双眼。
Lillian keeps hers open, lays there thinking about her husband, staring at the aquarium.
莉莲一直开着她的眼睛，躺在那里想着她的丈夫，盯着水族箱。
And I'm looking at Jimmy's lizards.
我正在看吉米的蜥蜴。
Can they really be happy in those little tanks with a light bulb over their heads morning and night?
它们在那些早晚头顶都有灯泡的小水箱里真的能快乐吗？
And he took so long.
而且他花了这么长时间。
[YAWNS] It is starting to feel a little like a visit to the dentist more than a sexual fling.
[哈欠]这开始感觉有点像去看牙医，而不是性放纵。
Then Jimmy makes a noise like he's been shot in the leg.
然后吉米发出一声声音，就像他的腿中弹了一样。
And I realize, "Thank God." He rolls over to the other side of the blanket.
我意识到，“感谢上帝。”他翻身到毯子的另一边。
"That was sexy," he says.
“那很性感，”他说。
"Yes," I said.
“是的，”我说。
"It was very.
“这非常。
Thank you." Lillian, polite to the end.
谢谢你。”莉莲，到最后都很有礼貌。
But then Jimmy did some really sweet things.
但后来吉米做了一些非常甜蜜的事情。
He ran a bath, put something blue in the water.
他洗了个澡，在水里放了一些蓝色的东西。
He showed me his muscles.
他向我展示了他的肌肉。
"Ooh," I said.
“哦，”我说。
He lit candles.
他点燃了蜡烛。
He was quite romantic after all.
毕竟他还是一个很浪漫的人。
He was a boy, really.
他确实是个男孩。
I half expected the police to come barging in and arrest me.
我几乎预料到警察会闯进来逮捕我。
"Did I disappoint you?" he asked.
“我让你失望了吗？”他问道。
"No, of course not," I said.
“不，当然不，”我说。
And for a moment, he looked so vulnerable, I thought my heart would break.
有那么一刻，他看上去如此脆弱，我以为我的心都要碎了。
We sat in the bath.
我们坐在浴缸里。
He was behind me.
他在我身后。
He did my back.
他帮我背了。
Drew objects on my shoulders in soap and had me guess what they were.
用肥皂在我的肩膀上画一些物体，让我猜它们是什么。
"It's a giraffe," I said.
“这是一只长颈鹿，”我说。
"No, it's a crane," he said.
“不，这是一台起重机，”他说。
"You win," I said.
“你赢了，”我说。
He was laughing.
他在笑。
He looked even younger with his hair wet.
头发湿漉漉的，他看起来更年轻了。
And I'm thinking of Keith in these Volvo, following the taillights of another car with his radio on-- he probably near Scotland by then-- with that perpetually anxious look on his face that he inherited from his father.
我想起开着这辆沃尔沃的基思，跟随另一辆开着收音机的汽车的尾灯——那时他可能已经在苏格兰附近了——脸上带着从父亲那里继承来的永远焦虑的表情。
And they're both nice men.
他们都是好人。
I mean, sweet men, good people.
我的意思是，可爱的男人，好人。
And as the damn television is chattering away in the background, all I can think is, "Well, my dear, now what?"
当该死的电视在背景中喋喋不休时，我所能想到的就是，“好吧，亲爱的，现在怎么办？”
Now we skip ahead five years.
现在我们提前五年。
Lillian is out of her marriage, working in a bookstore.
莉莲已经离婚，在一家书店工作。
She decides to go away to Brighton for a little vacation.
她决定去布莱顿度个小假。
Well, I was walking along the front, past the chalets on the beach when I hear somebody calling my name.
好吧，我正沿着前面走，经过海滩上的小木屋，这时我听到有人叫我的名字。
I turned around and see this young man with a beard waving at me.
我转过头，看到这个留着胡子的年轻人正在向我招手。
"Who on Earth are you," I thought.
“你到底是谁？”我想。
I presumed it must be a customer from the store.
我猜想一定是店里的顾客。
"It's me," said the man with the beard.
“是我。”留胡子的男人说道。
"It's Jimmy.
“是吉米。
Don't you remember?" "Jimmy," I cried, totally taken aback, "You look completely different.
你不记得了吗？” “吉米，”我大吃一惊，“你看起来完全不一样了。
I would have walked right past you." Besides the beard, he was much slimmer.
我本来会从你身边走过的。”除了胡子之外，他瘦了很多。
And it's probably my imagination, but I think he'd grown.
这可能是我的想象，但我认为他已经长大了。
"What are you doing here," I asked.
“你在这里做什么？”我问道。
"I live here," he said.
“我住在这里，”他说。
"Since when?" "Since about four years ago." I could not get over how different he looked.
“从什么时候开始？” “大约从四年前开始。”我无法理解他看起来有多么不同。
"I don't know lift weights anymore," he said.
“我不再知道举重了，”他说。
"I do tai chi.
“我打太极拳。
Lost a lot of bulk.
损失了很多体积。
Don't have muscles anymore.
已经没有肌肉了
And I've gone vegetarian." "And you have the beard now," I chimed.
而且我已经吃素了。” “你现在留胡子了，”我附和道。
"Yeah, my wife says it gives me authority." "Your wife?" "Can you believe it?" he said.
“是的，我妻子说这给了我权力。” “你的妻子？” “你能相信吗？”他说。
"I got hitched."
“我结婚了。”
The whole episode was quite disorienting.
整个情节非常令人迷惑。
Having Jimmy suddenly pop up in the middle of my Brighton after how many years?
多少年后，吉米突然出现在我的布莱顿市中心？
Five, was it?
五，是吗？
He asked me if I'd like to grab a bite.
他问我是否想吃点东西。
I said I would.
我说我会的。
I have to say, though, it was immediately comfortable between us.
不过，我不得不说，我们之间立刻就很舒服。
One thing about Jimmy and I, we always got along.
关于吉米和我的一件事是，我们总是相处得很好。
"I don't drink coffee anymore," he said.
“我不再喝咖啡了，”他说。
"Only herb tea.
“只有花草茶。
I'm watching my health, but I can have a chamomile tea and a tofu sandwich.
我正在注意自己的健康状况，但我可以喝一杯甘菊茶和一份豆腐三明治。
I'm very strict." "Tofu sandwich," I said.
我很严格。” “豆腐三明治，”我说。
"Oh, dear.
“哦，亲爱的。
I should be having a glass of wine, a pastry, a cappuccino, and a cigarette, in that order.
我应该按顺序喝一杯酒、一份糕点、一杯卡布奇诺和一支香烟。
Health kick." He laughed.
健康踢。”他笑了。
"Oh, good," I thought.
“哦，很好，”我想。
"I'm still amusing to him." While he wasn't looking, I glanced at the side of his face.
“我对他来说还是很有趣的。”趁他不注意的时候，我看了他的侧脸。
He'd become quite beautiful, delicate almost.
他变得非常美丽，甚至可以说是精致。
In the looks department, I have to say, the little bugger had really come into his own.
在外表方面，我不得不说，这个小家伙真的很出色。
We went to an awful health restaurant where they had a lot of attitude and no pastry.
我们去了一家很糟糕的健康餐厅，那里的态度很糟糕，而且没有糕点。
And when I tried to light a cigarette, I got a lecture on secondhand smoke.
当我试图点烟时，我听到了关于二手烟的讲座。
He wanted me to meet his wife, thought the two of us would get along.
他想让我见见他的妻子，认为我们两个会相处得很好。
"Why," I couldn't help wondering.
“为什么？”我忍不住想知道。
"She reminds me of you," he said.
“她让我想起了你，”他说。
"She's a bit older than me, very successful in business, has her own company.
“她比我大一点，生意很成功，有自己的公司。
She trains executives how to speak in public and how to alter their image so they'll become a more effective tool in the marketplace." The whole enterprise sounded positively creepy.
她培训高管如何在公共场合演讲以及如何改变自己的形象，使他们成为市场上更有效的工具。”整个企业听起来确实令人毛骨悚然。
I asked him what his role in all this was.
我问他在这一切中扮演什么角色。
He said he videotaped the executives speaking and that Donna, the wife, would identify their weaknesses and therefore help to rectify them.
他说，他对高管们的讲话进行了录像，而妻子唐娜将找出他们的弱点，从而帮助纠正它们。
"How old are you now," I asked, somewhat shifting the subject.
“你现在多大了？”我问道，稍微转移了话题。
"26," he said.
“26，”他说。
"How old are you?" "I'm not telling you how old am," I said.
“你今年多大？” “我不会告诉你我多大了，”我说。
"Let's put it this way.
“这么说吧。
When I write down my date of birth now, I put the word circa next to it."
现在当我写下我的出生日期时，我会在旁边写上“大约”这个词。”
Then he asked if I thought he seemed more mature.
然后他问我是否觉得他看起来更成熟了。
Apparently Donna was working on having him project a more mature version of himself.
显然，唐娜正在努力让他展现出一个更成熟的自己。
"Have you noticed I'm speaking slower," he asked.
“你有没有注意到我说话速度变慢了？”他问道。
"Donna got me to do that.
“唐娜让我这么做。
She made me watch a video of myself.
她让我看自己的视频。
I had no idea I talked so quickly." I'd never noticed it.
我没想到我说得这么快。”我从来没有注意到它。
Poor Jimmy was beginning to sound a bit like someone who's had a complete nervous breakdown and who's slowly pasting themselves back together again.
可怜的吉米听起来有点像一个神经完全崩溃的人，但又慢慢地恢复了正常。
And I was gaining the impression he'd married Eva Braun.
我感觉他已经和爱娃·布劳恩结婚了。
"She's not pointing any cameras at me," I thought, just as some horrendous-looking alfalfa something or other arrived.
“她没有用任何摄像机对着我，”我想，正当一些看起来可怕的苜蓿什么的到达时。
God knows what it was, but I wasn't going to eat it.
天知道那是什么，但我不想吃它。
He asked me how what's-his-name was.
他问我“他的名字”怎么样。
"You mean Keith," I said.
“你是说基思，”我说。
"I have no idea.
“我不知道。
I haven't seen Keith for nearly two years.
我已经快两年没见到基思了。
The last time I tried to talk to Keith, he said he still wasn't ready to speak to me yet." "Was it because of me," he asked, with a tone of slight self-satisfaction.
上次我试图与基思交谈时，他说他还没有准备好与我交谈。” “是因为我吗？”他问道，语气里带着些许得意。
I have to say, it did irritate me for a moment.
我不得不说，这确实让我恼火了一会儿。
I mean, there was a reason Keith and I stayed together for six years.
我的意思是，基思和我在一起六年是有原因的。
It wasn't a complete waste of time.
这并不是完全浪费时间。
"Let's just say you didn't help."
“就说你没有帮忙吧。”
One thing about Keith, he could read me like a book.
关于基思的一件事是，他可以像读一本书一样读懂我。
He immediately knew what had happened with Jimmy.
他立刻就知道吉米发生了什么事。
"The way you talked about him in the store, it was obvious," he'd say.
“你在店里谈论他的方式很明显，”他说。
"It's sad," he'd go on.
“这很悲伤，”他继续说道。
"You're like a little girl.
“你就像一个小女孩。
You'll fall for anyone who flatters you." Keith always referred to the thing with Jimmy as the episode.
你会爱上任何奉承你的人。”基思总是把与吉米的事情称为“插曲”。
"You haven't been the same person since the episode," was how he put it.
“自从这一集以来，你就不再是同一个人了，”他是这么说的。
I really didn't want to meet Donna.
我真的不想见到唐娜。
I imagined her as exuding sex appeal and confidence, and I really wasn't feeling up to comparisons.
我想象她散发着性感和自信，但我真的无法进行比较。
But I went along with it.
但我也同意了。
For some reason, Jimmy was so eager for us to meet.
出于某种原因，吉米非常渴望我们见面。
He called her up, warned her we were on our way while I excused myself for an emergency one-on-one between myself and my face in the bathroom mirror.
他打电话给她，警告她我们正在路上，而我则原谅自己和浴室镜子里的脸进行了紧急的一对一。
"I hope it's the light in here," I thought.
“我希望这是这里的光，”我想。
"Either that, my dear, or it is time to lay off the lattes."
“要么那样，亲爱的，要么是时候停止喝拿铁咖啡了。”
Donna was on a business call when we walked in, with her back to us.
当我们走进去时，唐娜背对着我们，正在出差。
Well, she was nothing at all like I'd anticipated.
嗯，她一点也不像我想象的那样。
Donna was a big girl.
唐娜是个大女孩了。
I mean literally.
我的意思是字面意思。
She must have been at least six feet two.
她的身高至少有六英尺二英寸。
And I have to say-- and this will sound awfully ungenerous on my part, and it is-- but the first thing that drew my attention was her hips.
我不得不说——这对我来说听起来非常不慷慨，事实确实如此——但首先引起我注意的是她的臀部。
She's probably given birth to something, I presumed.
我猜想，她可能生下了某种东西。
When she turned around, I thought, "Oh, I'm much better looking than you." And I was sort of surprised at myself for how juvenile I was behaving.
当她转过身来时，我想：“哦，我比你好看多了。”我对自己的行为如此幼稚感到有点惊讶。
But I have to say, I did suddenly feel in the mood to be a little threatening.
但不得不说，我确实突然有点想要威胁的心情了。
Finally she gets off the phone, waltzes over, extending her hand.
最后她挂断了电话，跳着华尔兹舞，伸出了手。
"I'm sorry," she says.
“我很抱歉，”她说。
"The Americans just think I've got all the time in the world.
“美国人只是认为我拥有世界上所有的时间。
But they're where the money is, so can't be complaining too much now, can we?" Then she kissed Jimmy on the mouth in front of me, which seemed a bit unnecessary, and said, "Hello, James." "James," I thought.
但他们是有钱的地方，所以现在不能抱怨太多，不是吗？”然后她当着我的面亲了一下吉米的嘴，这似乎有点多余，然后说：“你好，詹姆斯。” “詹姆斯，”我想。
"James.
“詹姆斯。
Well, excuse me." Jimmy may have been many things.
好吧，请原谅。”吉米可能有很多事情。
One thing he wasn't was a James.
他不是詹姆斯的一件事。
Redirecting her attention towards me, "What line are you in, Lillian," she asks.
她把注意力转向我，“莉莲，你在哪队？”她问道。
"Books," I say, "though I seldom read them." "Oh.
“书，”我说，“虽然我很少读。” “哦。
Publishing," she says.
出版，”她说。
"No," says I.
“不，”我说。
"Secondhand mostly." "Oh," she says.
“大部分是二手的。” “哦，”她说。
"What a pretty shirt you're wearing." And I thought, "You cow."
“你穿的衬衫多漂亮啊。”我想，“你这头牛。”
I was only there for about 10 minutes, which was quite long enough.
我只在那里待了大约10分钟，这已经足够长了。
Donna said she had a meeting to go to.
唐娜说她有一个会议要去参加。
"Oh, AA?" I inquired.
“哦，AA？”我询问道。
"Oh, you're hilarious," she said.
“哦，你真搞笑，”她说。
"So are you," I replied, which got no response.
“你也是。”我回答道，但没有得到回应。
She said she was going to Germany for the rest of the week and that James had the car.
她说这周剩下的时间她要去德国，而詹姆斯有车。
Every time she mentioned James, I had to think for a moment who she was talking about.
每次她提到詹姆斯时，我都不得不思考她在谈论谁。
"You two can get reacquainted," she said.
“你们两个可以重新认识，”她说。
"You don't need me around, now, do you?" For a second, it felt like she was throwing him at me.
“现在你不需要我在身边了，是吗？”有那么一瞬间，感觉就像她把他扔到了我身上。
Jimmy wanted to give me a tour of the south coast.
吉米想带我游览一下南海岸。
So the following day, after Donna left, he picked me up at the hotel.
第二天，唐娜离开后，他到酒店接我。
We went driving in her BMW.
我们开着她的宝马去。
"What happened to your car?" I asked.
“你的车怎么了？”我问。
"Donna made me get rid of it," he said.
“唐娜让我摆脱了它，”他说。
"I liked that car," I protested.
“我喜欢那辆车，”我抗议道。
"It suited you." "She approves of you," he said.
“这很适合你。” “她认可你，”他说。
"She thought you were down to earth," which, from a pretentious person, is not a compliment.
“她认为你很脚踏实地”，对于一个自命不凡的人来说，这并不是一种恭维。
"She said she thinks you're the kind of woman she could imagine me being with much more than her." "What does she mean by that?" I asked.
“她说她认为你是那种她能想象我和她在一起的女人。” “她这话是什么意思？”我问。
"I don't know," he said.
“我不知道，”他说。
"Sometimes I think she's tired of being married to people." "I'm her fourth husband." "Oh," I said.
“有时我觉得她厌倦了与人结婚。” “我是她的第四任丈夫。” “哦，”我说。
Then we just go drove for a while without saying anything.
然后我们就开车走了一会儿，什么也没说。
The countryside along the south coast is lovely.
南海岸的乡村很美丽。
I remembered how much I like to be in the passenger seat of a car.
我记得我是多么喜欢坐在汽车的乘客座位上。
While Jimmy was driving, I happened to notice his hands on the steering wheel.
当吉米开车时，我碰巧注意到他的手放在方向盘上。
They looked older.
他们看起来更老了。
I looked at mine.
我看了看我的。
I'm sure they do too.
我确信他们也是如此。
He slipped in a cassette tape.
他塞进了一盘盒式磁带。
I lowered my window.
我降下车窗。
A gust of wind blew through the car.
一阵风吹过车子。
My hair went everywhere.
我的头发到处都是。
Care and all its relatives seemed to fall out of me.
关怀和所有与它相关的事情似乎都从我身上消失了。
I don't know if it was the sea air or the music, too many cappuccinos or Jimmy, but I felt something like a sudden wave of enthusiasm.
我不知道是海风还是音乐、太多的卡布奇诺还是吉米的原因，但我感觉到一股突然的热情。
He must have thought my mind had just fluttered out the car window.
他肯定以为我的思绪刚刚飞出了车窗。
"Right now," I explained, "I feel like I'm right in the world."
“现在，”我解释道，“我觉得我就在这个世界上。”
Driving along the coast, we came to a huge fun fair.
沿着海岸行驶，我们来到了一个巨大的游乐园。
Jimmy wanted to get off the road and investigate.
吉米想离开马路去调查一下。
I did not take much convincing.
我没有采取太多说服力。
As we were going in, he stopped in his tracks.
当我们进去时，他停了下来。
"I always get excited around you," he said.
“我总是在你身边感到兴奋，”他说。
I said, "I feel the same way." I realized what it was.
我说：“我也有同样的感觉。”我意识到那是什么。
You see, you can be romantic with Jimmy and not feel like a fool.
你看，你可以和吉米浪漫起来，而不会觉得自己像个傻瓜。
I had been waiting a long time to be romantic with someone.
我已经等待与某人浪漫很久了。
Jimmy was immediately drawn to an enormous roller coaster called the Big Plunge.
吉米立即被一个名为“Big Plunge”的巨大过山车所吸引。
The Big Plunge was a ride that would go up extremely high and then plummet.
大暴跌是一种会上升到极高然后急剧下降的游乐设施。
Now, I have a terrible fear of heights.
现在，我有严重的恐高症。
"There is no way you're going to get me up on that thing," I said.
“你不可能在这件事上让我起来的，”我说。
"You go if you want to.
“如果你想去的话，你就去吧。
I'll stay here and have a cigarette." "Oh, Lillian, you're afraid of everything," he said.
我就待在这里，抽根烟。” “哦，莉莲，你什么都害怕，”他说。
"How dare you?" I said.
“你怎么敢？”我说。
"I'm not." "Come on," he said.
“我不是。” “来吧，”他说。
"Fear at a certain point just becomes another bad habit." Which had to have been something he'd picked up from Donna.
“恐惧到了一定程度就会变成另一个坏习惯。”这一定是他从唐娜那里得到的东西。
The only way I could go on the Big Plunge was by going through a complicated psychological snow job in which I rationalize that my fear of heights actually represented my terror of life and that going on the Big Plunge was extremely important for me and could lead to a personal breakthrough.
我能够继续进行大跳水的唯一方法是经历一项复杂的心理雪地工作，在其中我合理化我对高度的恐惧实际上代表了我对生活的恐惧，并且进行大跳水对我来说非常重要，可以带来个人突破。
Besides if 10-year-old children could brave it, so could I.
再说了，如果十岁的孩子都能勇敢面对，我也能。
"I'm sure I'm the oldest person to ever take the plunge," I cried.
“我确信我是有史以来最年长的冒险者，”我哭道。
The terrified wit.
惊恐的机智。
As the ride yanked everyone forward and the squealing began, first off I was petrified.
当车把每个人都向前猛拉并且尖叫声开始时，我首先被吓呆了。
Then I seemed to push through the fear.
然后我似乎克服了恐惧。
I have to say, the whole thing did seem like a personal breakthrough.
我不得不说，整件事看起来确实是个人的突破。
Donna would have been proud of me.
唐娜一定会为我感到骄傲的。
Jimmy held my hand for the duration, which was sweet of him.
吉米一直握着我的手，他真是太贴心了。
I've never been able to go on those rides before, but I ended up loving it.
我以前从未参加过这些游乐设施，但我最终爱上了它。
Went on three more times.
又去了三遍。
It had become completely easy between us.
我们之间的关系变得非常轻松。
Midway through the day, a strange notion crossed my mind.
半天的时候，我的脑海里突然闪过一个奇怪的念头。
"I can imagine myself being with you for a long time," I thought.
“我可以想象自己和你在一起很长一段时间，”我想。
By late afternoon, I realized I really was getting a little lightheaded around Jimmy.
到了下午晚些时候，我意识到我在吉米身边真的有点头晕。
I stood at a distance as he was buying tickets for the next ride and tried to give myself a little talking to.
当他买下一趟车的票时，我站在远处，试图和自己聊一会儿。
"He's 26.
“他26岁了。
He's married.
他结婚了。
He lives in Brighton," I said to myself.
他住在布莱顿，”我对自己说。
"Lillian, stop it."
“莉莲，别说了。”
Then out of the blue, on the Ferris wheel, he gives me a peck on the cheek.
然后突然在摩天轮上，他在我的脸颊上轻吻了一下。
"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to not sound delighted and failing abysmally.
“你在干什么？”我问道，试图让自己听起来不那么高兴，但最终却失败了。
"I wanted to kiss you," he says.
“我想吻你，”他说。
"James," I scolded, "behave."
“詹姆斯，”我责骂道，“乖点。”
The Ferris wheel then abruptly jolted to a halt, fortunately with us on the low end.
然后摩天轮突然停了下来，幸运的是我们在低端。
While we were waiting to move, Jimmy came out with what seemed like an out of the blue question.
当我们等待搬家时，吉米突然提出了一个问题。
"If somebody told you your life would end in, say, a year, do you think you'd start to really live or do you think you'd slip back under the covers and wait for it to be over?" "I think I'd get a move on," I replied.
“如果有人告诉你，你的生命将在一年后结束，你认为你会开始真正地生活，还是会躲到被窝里等待它结束？” “我想我会继续前进，”我回答道。
Just then the wheel began to turn.
就在这时，车轮开始转动。
As we were passing the arcade, I noticed a photo booth.
当我们经过拱廊时，我注意到一个照相亭。
"I don't have any pictures of you," I said.
我说：“我没有你的照片。”
"Come on.
“来吧。
I need some proof that you exist."
我需要一些证据来证明你的存在。”
We were clowning around in front of the camera.
我们在镜头前嬉闹。
Pictures took forever to come out.
照片花了很长时间才出来。
When they finally did emerge from the machine, I wasn't quite prepared for what I saw.
当他们最终从机器中出来时，我对所看到的并没有做好准备。
What took me back about the photos was that we looked like two people who were completely in love with each other.
这些照片让我回想起我们看起来像是两个完全相爱的人。
It's a year later.
已经是一年后的事了。
Lillian and Jimmy are married and happy.
莉莲和吉米结婚了并且幸福。
He had next to nothing in the way of possessions.
他几乎没有任何财产。
Everything had belonged to Donna.
一切都属于唐娜。
One of the few things that was actually his was this little tent that he took everywhere just in case he ever felt the urge to sleep outside, he'd say.
他说，实际上是他的为数不多的东西之一就是这个小帐篷，他到处都带着它，以防万一他想睡在外面。
One Saturday, we took a bus ride into the country.
一个星期六，我们乘坐公共汽车进入该国。
Sure enough, little package came along too.
果然，小包裹也来了。
No sooner we're off the bus than Jimmy said, "Let's forget about going home.
我们刚一下车，吉米就说：“我们别想回家了。
I want to sleep under the sky." I have to say, the idea did appeal.
我想睡在天空下。”我不得不说，这个想法确实很吸引人。
So we bought some sandwiches and supplies, walked what must have been miles till we found this spot that met Jimmy's definition of the word remote, by which time the sky was quite black.
所以我们买了一些三明治和补给品，走了一定有几英里的路，直到我们找到了这个符合吉米对“远程”这个词的定义的地方，那时天空已经很黑了。
He set up a little tent and pulled out a sleeping bag he'd had all along.
他搭起一个小帐篷，拿出一直带着的睡袋。
By the time we'd eaten, it was late.
等我们吃完饭，已经很晚了。
Jimmy went pretty much straight to sleep.
吉米几乎直接睡着了。
I, on the other hand, just laid there.
另一方面，我只是躺在那里。
The ground was uneven to put it mildly.
温和地说，地面不平坦。
I think we were parked on top of a mole community.
我想我们停在一个鼹鼠社区的顶部。
My spine was wondering what the hell was going on, and it was damp.
我的脊背很潮湿，想知道到底发生了什么事。
But I didn't care.
但我不在乎。
It was so quiet in the open.
空旷的地方是如此的安静。
You could almost hear your moods change.
你几乎可以听到你的情绪变化。
If you laid still enough, you could feel your instincts wriggling to the surface.
如果你躺得足够安静，你就能感觉到你的本能正在浮出水面。
Hours go by, and I'm still wide awake, thinking, "I'm 41 years old.
几个小时过去了，我仍然完全清醒，心想：“我已经 41 岁了。
It's 3 o'clock in the morning.
现在是凌晨 3 点。
And I'm laying in a field." And the whole thing seemed so absurd.
而我正躺在田野里。”整件事显得如此荒谬。
I just started laughing.
我刚开始笑。
"You know what?" I thought.
“你知道吗？”我想。
"Good things are going to happen.
“好事将会发生。
I'm ready for them now.
我现在已经准备好迎接他们了。
I wasn't before.
我以前不是。
I am now." "Yes," I thought.
我现在就是了。” “是的，”我想。
"I'm ready to roll my sleeves up.
“我已经准备好卷起袖子了。
My sleeves are fairly twitching to be rolled for the good things."
我的袖子相当抽动，想要为美好的事物而奋斗。”
David Cale's one woman show Lillian premiered at the Goodman Studio Theatre in Chicago.
大卫·卡尔的一部女性剧《莉莲》在芝加哥古德曼工作室剧院首演。
It was directed by Joe Mantello.
该片由乔·曼特罗执导。
They're currently in the process of putting the show up in other cities.
他们目前正在其他城市举办演出。
Watch for it.
留意它。
It's really great.
真的很棒。
Our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and myself with Alix Spiegel and Julie Snyder.
今天我们的节目由南希·厄普代克和我、阿利克斯·斯皮格尔和朱莉·斯奈德共同制作。
Senior editor Paul Tough.
高级编辑保罗·托夫。
To buy a cassette of this program, call us at WBEZ here in Chicago.
要购买该节目的磁带，请致电芝加哥的 WBEZ。
Our phone number 312-832-3380.
我们的电话号码 312-832-3380。
Our email address [email protected] .
我们的电子邮件地址 [电子邮件受保护]。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia, who's not trying to escape any boxes.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 负责监督，他并没有试图逃脱任何限制。
I just have to try to put this in a little box like I have every other thing that has been said and done and go on and do my job.
我只需要尝试将其放入一个小盒子中，就像我已经说过和做过的所有其他事情一样，然后继续完成我的工作。
That's what I'm going to work at.
这就是我要做的工作。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。