860: Suddenly: A Mirror! - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #860 | May 23, 2025 860: Suddenly: A Mirror!
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 860 集 | 2025 年 5 月 23 日 860：突然：一面镜子！
Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
序言：序言 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥的 Ira Glass，这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
And I am joined in the studio right now by one of my co-workers, Aviva DeKornfeld.
我的一位同事 Aviva DeKornfeld 现在也加入了我的工作室。
Hi, Ira.
嗨，艾拉。
Ira Glass Hi, there.
艾拉·格拉斯 嗨，那里。
And so you're here to tell us a story.
所以你来这里是为了给我们讲一个故事。
Yes.
是的。
It happened probably when I was 11 or 12.
这大概发生在我11岁或12岁的时候。
I was with my older sister, Ora, who's probably 14, and our cousin, Jake, who's 16 or so.
我和我的姐姐奥拉（Ora）一起，她大概 14 岁，还有我们的表弟杰克，大约 16 岁。
He was visiting us.
他正在拜访我们。
And one night we decided it would be fun to sneak into the community pool, which is just a few blocks away from our house.
有一天晚上，我们决定溜进距离我们家只有几个街区的社区游泳池会很有趣。
Yes.
是的。
It's probably midnight.
大概已经是半夜了。
Our parents are asleep.
我们的父母都睡着了。
We'd never snuck in.
我们从来没有偷偷溜进去过。
So we're walking to the pool.
所以我们步行去游泳池。
And I actually didn't even want to sneak into the pool.
事实上我什至不想溜进游泳池。
I was scared, but I just-- the bliss of being included with the older kids as the younger one very much overrode my reservations.
我很害怕，但我只是——像小孩子一样和大孩子在一起的幸福感超越了我的保留。
Absolutely.
绝对地。
Aviva DeKornfeld So we get to the pool, scale the chain link fence, hop over, triumphant.
阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 于是，我们到达了泳池，爬过铁丝网，一跃而过，带着胜利的喜悦。
Immediately, like one second after we've entered the pool, sirens go off.
就在我们进入泳池后一秒钟，警报器就响起了。
They're so loud.
他们太吵了。
It's like, woo-woo.
就像，呜呜。
And then an automated voice comes on, and it's like, you are trespassing.
然后自动声音响起，就像是，你非法侵入了。
The police have been alerted.
警方已接到警报。
They're on their way.
他们正在路上。
Evacuate the premises.
疏散场所。
So we panic.
所以我们恐慌。
And my cousin, he is the oldest and tallest.
还有我的表弟，他年纪最大，个子最高。
And he just runs to the fence, hops over it, clears it no problem, takes off running.
他就跑到栅栏前，跳过栅栏，没问题地越过栅栏，然后开始奔跑。
And then my sister is next.
接下来是我姐姐。
And she hops up on the fence, but then she kind of falls down.
她跳上栅栏，但随后又摔倒了。
She doesn't quite make it over.
她还没有完全康复。
And then she hops up again, and she was just moving so slowly, in my mind.
然后她又跳了起来，在我看来，她移动得很慢。
It was probably 15 seconds, actually.
实际上大概是 15 秒。
And what I did in my panic, is, she was up about 2 feet off the ground, holding on to the fence.
我惊慌失措时所做的就是，她站在距地面约 2 英尺的地方，抓住栅栏。
And I grabbed her waist, and I ripped her off the fence.
我抓住她的腰，把她从栅栏上扯下来。
And I climbed over myself.
然后我就爬了过去。
[LAUGHTER] And I-- And it's the w-- we get home.
[笑声] 然后我——我们就这样回家了。
She's fine.
她很好。
She eventually makes it over.
她最终还是挺过来了。
But for me, this is the first moment that I remember thinking, I have been shown what kind of person I am, and I am a very bad person.
但对我来说，这是我第一次思考，我已经看到我是一个什么样的人，我是一个非常坏的人。
Or there is a part of me that is deeply selfish or capable of deep selfishness.
或者我的一部分是非常自私的或者能够非常自私的。
Yeah.
是的。
That's like a very grown-up thought to have.
这就像一个非常成熟的想法。
And there comes a time when you think that for the first time, right, you're 11, and you're capable of that.
有时候，你第一次认为，对吧，你已经 11 岁了，你有能力做到这一点。
Yeah.
是的。
And what I saw was, this is who you are.
我看到的是，这就是你。
You're the kind of person who prioritizes yourself over other people, including the person you love the most.
你是那种将自己置于他人之上的人，包括你最爱的人。
My big sister was the person I idolized at the time, and we're still very close.
我姐姐是我当时崇拜的人，我们现在仍然很亲密。
But I was really like, anything for you.
但我真的很想，为你做任何事情。
I love you so much.
我真的很爱你。
And then it turns out, actually, nope, I just want to save myself when I'm scared.
然后事实证明，实际上，不，我只是想在害怕的时候拯救自己。
And the whole reason I'm here telling you this story is because I think that lots of people have moments like this and that these moments can act as a kind of mirror that reflect something back at you about yourself.
我在这里告诉你这个故事的全部原因是因为我认为很多人都有这样的时刻，这些时刻可以充当一面镜子，反射出你自己的一些东西。
And does this moment come back to you in the years since?
多年以后，你还会想起这个时刻吗？
Absolutely.
绝对地。
Every time I do something a little selfish or say something kind of shitty, or just, like, I have some sort of failure of kindness, I think back to this moment, and I'm like, well, that's the real you.
每当我做了一些自私的事情，或者说一些粗俗的话，或者只是，比如，我没有表现出某种善意，我就会回想起这一刻，我会想，好吧，这就是真正的你。
Wow.
哇。
OK, so the reason you're telling this story, I know, is that you have come here today with a collection of stories and moments like this one from a variety of people.
好吧，我知道你之所以讲述这个故事，是因为你今天来到这里，带来了来自不同人的一系列故事和像这样的时刻。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass And with that, I'm going to just step out of the way and just hand over the show to you to host.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：说到这里，我将退开一步，将节目交给您主持。
OK.
好的。
Wait.
等待。
Should I say, "I'm Aviva DeKornfeld sitting in for Ira Glass," or no?
我应该说“我是艾维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 代替艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass)”，还是不说？
No, no, you don't have to do that because I think everybody's gotten that by this point.
不，不，你不必这样做，因为我想此时每个人都已经明白了。
They know who's who?
他们知道谁是谁？
Ira Glass [LAUGHS] Yeah.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）[笑]是的。
OK.
好的。
[LAUGHS] Ira Glass They have the cast of characters.
[笑] Ira Glass 他们有演员阵容。
OK.
好的。
Today on the show, we have stories, like mine, about people who are suddenly confronted with a part of themselves they had not previously known and how they deal with that newfound knowledge.
今天在节目中，我们有像我一样的故事，讲述的是人们突然面对自己以前不了解的一部分，以及他们如何处理这些新发现的知识。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
Act One, On Top of Spaghetti, All Covered With Shame.
第一幕，在意大利面条之上，满面羞耻。
So that moment with my sister when I was 11, did it change me?
那么，当我 11 岁时和姐姐在一起的那一刻，它改变了我吗？
I can tell you that I have never pulled her, or anyone, off a fence while running from the police again, not even once.
我可以告诉你，我再也没有在逃离警察时把她或任何人从栅栏上拉下来，一次也没有。
But beyond that, no. I think this moment gave me a little window into myself, and that's about it.
但除此之外，没有。我认为这一刻给了我一扇了解自己的窗口，仅此而已。
Fundamentally, I am the same person.
从根本上来说，我是同一个人。
My coworker, Tobin Low, when I told him this story, he was like, well, yeah, I'm sure most people who have these split-second moments of selfishness don't really change.
我的同事托宾·洛（Tobin Low），当我告诉他这个故事时，他说，好吧，是的，我确信大多数拥有这些瞬间自私时刻的人并没有真正改变。
And to that, I say, what kind of world is that?
对此，我想说，那是一个什么样的世界？
Not one I want to live in.
没有一个是我想住的地方。
So I sent Tobin searching to see if he could find someone who had one of these moments and actually did change.
所以我派托宾去寻找一个人，看看他是否能找到一个经历过这些时刻并真正改变的人。
I'll let Tobin take it from here.
我会让托宾把它从这里带走。
David and his girlfriend were fast asleep in his apartment in London when someone started banging on the door downstairs, screaming, fire.
大卫和他的女朋友在伦敦的公寓里熟睡时，楼下有人开始敲门，尖叫着，着火了。
He got up and opened the bedroom door to find smoke piling in.
他起身打开卧室门，发现浓烟滚滚而来。
And here is where he had his moment of split-second decision-making.
这就是他瞬间做出决定的时刻。
My first reaction was, OK, self-preservation.
我的第一反应是，好吧，自我保护。
I'm going to get my passport because if that burns up, I'm going to be stuck here.
我要去拿我的护照，因为如果它被烧毁，我就会被困在这里。
I'm going to get my trousers because, again, I don't want to look foolish waiting downstairs in my underwear.
我要去拿裤子，因为我不想穿着内衣在楼下等待显得很愚蠢。
And then I got my shoes.
然后我就拿到了鞋子。
I ran outside.
我跑到外面。
And I ran so vigorously, I ran up against a wall, and I got a burn, like a carpet burn, but from the wall.
我跑得很用力，跑到了墙上，我被烧伤了，就像地毯烧伤一样，但是是从墙上烧伤的。
And I really wanted to get out of there.
我真的很想离开那里。
He made it outside.
他到了外面。
And it occurred to him only then that his girlfriend existed, and she'd also been in that smoke-filled room that he'd fled, passport in hand.
直到那时他才意识到他的女朋友存在，而且她也曾在他逃离的那个充满烟雾的房间里，手里拿着护照。
He realized this because she was standing next to him.
他意识到这一点是因为她就站在他旁边。
She'd made it out, too.
她也成功了。
But he had to admit to himself--
但他不得不承认——
Oh, I'm glad she's safe, obviously, but I didn't have anything to do with that.
哦，显然我很高兴她安全了，但我与此无关。
His girlfriend, who's now his wife, says, I'm pretty sure I ran out ahead of you.
他的女朋友（现在是他的妻子）说，我很确定我比你先跑了。
He doesn't buy that, still beats himself up, says it's like a cloud of shame that follows him around.
他不相信这一点，仍然责备自己，说这就像一团耻辱笼罩着他。
And yet--
然而——
Do you think it caused you to be the kind of person who runs towards a fire now?
你认为这会导致你现在变成那种见火就跑的人吗？
Do you think you're more of that person now?
你认为你现在更像那个人了吗？
I think no. I think I'm definitely-- I don't think I'm a hero.
我认为不。我想我绝对——我不认为我是英雄。
I put the call out in multiple places, talked to everyone I knew, wondering if I'd find a kind of superhero origin story, someone who took their pain and turned it into action.
我在多个地方发出了呼吁，与我认识的每个人交谈，想知道我是否能找到一种超级英雄的起源故事，一个能承受痛苦并将其转化为行动的人。
Turns out, there are many people out there haunted by the ghosts of split-second decisions past.
事实证明，有很多人都被过去瞬间做出的决定所困扰。
Jonah in Illinois-- one night, his girlfriend woke up with terrible food poisoning from eating a bison Sloppy Joe.
伊利诺伊州的乔纳——一天晚上，他的女朋友因吃了一头野牛马虎乔而严重食物中毒。
She was suddenly and violently throwing up.
她突然剧烈地呕吐。
He said he thought of helping, but instead, snatched the blanket off of her, threw it over his head, and ran out of the room.
他说他想帮忙，但他却一把夺过她的毯子，盖在头上，然后跑出了房间。
He said the smell was too terrible.
他说气味太难闻了。
Um, no. No, I would say no. But I was a bit embarrassed, like ashamed that I didn't step up to the plate a little bit better.
嗯，不。不，我会说不。但我有点尴尬，好像为自己没有更好地站出来感到羞愧。
In my defense, it was extremely, extremely gross.
在我看来，这实在是太恶心了。
To be fair to Jonah, I don't know that I would have stuck around for a repeat appearance of bison Sloppy Joes either, though there was a small pattern developing in my search results, a recurring theme of boyfriends making the, quote unquote, "wrong" decision, but not doing much differently afterwards.
公平地说，我也不知道我是否会为了野牛《邋遢的乔斯》的重复出现而坚持下去，尽管我的搜索结果中出现了一个小模式，一个反复出现的主题，即男朋友做出了“错误”的决定，但事后并没有做出太大的不同。
I wish I could report that it's going to change from here on out, but here we go.
我希望我能报告说，从现在开始，情况将会发生变化，但我们开始了。
A lot of times, it was the girlfriends who wrote in to tell us what happened.
很多时候，都是女朋友写信告诉我们发生了什么事。
There's Jana, who lived in bear country.
贾娜住在熊的国度。
One afternoon, a black bear charged.
一天下午，一只黑熊冲了过来。
And what did her boyfriend do?
而她的男朋友做了什么？
He ran for his life, leaving Jana to fend for herself.
他逃命，留下贾娜自生自灭。
A similar thing happened to another woman, but instead of a bear, it was a charging bull.
类似的事情也发生在另一位女士身上，但那不是熊，而是一头冲锋的公牛。
When she turned to grab her boyfriend's hand, she discovered he was already long gone, racing to the car.
当她转身抓住男友的手时，却发现他早已跑向车子。
Jenny in North Carolina-- she and her high school boyfriend were sneaking back into her house after curfew.
北卡罗来纳州的珍妮——宵禁后，她和高中男友偷偷溜回她家。
Her stepdad thought it was an intruder and pulled a gun on them.
她的继父认为这是入侵者，并用枪指着他们。
What did her boyfriend do?
她男朋友做了什么？
He yanked her in front of him, used her as a human shield.
他把她拉到面前，把她当作人体盾牌。
Did you dump that guy right after it happened?
事情发生后你就抛弃了那个人吗？
Oh, absolutely not.
哦，绝对不是。
No. Tobin Low They stayed together for five more years.
不。Tobin Low 他们又在一起生活了五年。
And surprise, surprise, he was a jerk the whole time.
令人惊讶的是，令人惊讶的是，他一直都是个混蛋。
It ended very tragically and heartbroken for me, which is funny looking back on it, because it was like, he was a really bad boyfriend.
它的结局对我来说非常悲惨和心碎，回想起来很有趣，因为就像，他是一个非常糟糕的男朋友。
Talking to all these people, my search was coming up empty.
与所有这些人交谈后，我的搜索结果一无所获。
Nobody seemed to be changing their behavior.
似乎没有人改变他们的行为。
They felt guilt, shame, embarrassment, sure, but actually changing?
当然，他们感到内疚、羞耻、尴尬，但真的改变了吗？
Not so much.
没那么多。
Then I talked to Becca.
然后我和贝卡交谈。
Becca is a pharmacist who lives in Chicago.
贝卡是一位住在芝加哥的药剂师。
Her story happened while she was on a medical mission trip in Ethiopia.
她的故事发生在她前往埃塞俄比亚执行医疗任务时。
Her and her team were there working at a local clinic.
她和她的团队在当地一家诊所工作。
It was the end of her stint.
她的任期就此结束。
She was headed back to the airport from the village she had been working in.
她正从工作的村庄返回机场。
There was Becca, a paramedic, and this older volunteer couple, Frank and Sue.
其中有护理人员贝卡，还有一对年长的志愿者夫妇弗兰克和苏。
Before their flight, they sit down for a meal at a restaurant.
起飞前，他们在一家餐厅坐下来吃了一顿饭。
They're starving.
他们快饿死了。
Everyone else gets burgers.
其他人都买汉堡。
Becca orders a plate of spaghetti.
贝卡点了一盘意大利面。
And Frank just becomes unresponsive a little bit at the table.
弗兰克在餐桌上变得有点反应迟钝。
He didn't faint.
他没有晕倒。
He just was sitting there, staring into space and breathing heavily.
他只是坐在那里，凝视着虚空，呼吸粗重。
And I just thought he was dehydrated.
我只是以为他脱水了。
And I was like, Frank, here, drink this.
我当时想，弗兰克，在这里，喝这个。
Our food's here, and I'm so excited to eat.
我们的食物来了，我很高兴能吃到。
And then he's not responding to his wife.
然后他就不再回复他的妻子了。
She's like, Frank, Frank.
她就像，弗兰克，弗兰克。
And he's just sitting there, labored breathing.
他只是坐在那里，呼吸困难。
Frank falls out of his chair, fully passes out.
弗兰克从椅子上摔下来，彻底昏倒了。
And then the paramedic immediately jumps up, this huge, I don't know-- 6' 5", bulky guy, and he just throws him over his shoulder and starts running back towards the van and is like, come on, we're finding a hospital.
然后护理人员立即跳了起来，这个巨大的，我不知道的——6英尺5英寸的大块头，他只是把他扔到肩膀上，开始跑回货车，然后说，来吧，我们正在找一家医院。
And his wife is confused, but she's following and just like, uh, OK, what's going on?
他的妻子很困惑，但她跟着，就像，呃，好吧，发生了什么事？
Is Frank going to be OK?
弗兰克会好吗？
Like, just frantic.
就像，只是疯狂。
And I-- oh, this is so bad.
我——哦，这太糟糕了。
I sat at that table like an idiot, trying to get the wait staff's attention to see if we can get to-go boxes for the food.
我像个白痴一样坐在那张桌子旁，试图引起服务员的注意，看看我们是否可以拿到外带食物的盒子。
And Cornell, the paramedic, is yelling, let's go.
护理人员康奈尔大喊，我们走吧。
We have to go.
我们得走了。
I stand up, and I pick up my plate of spaghetti carbonara on a white porcelain plate with silverware, and take that with me into the van.
我站起来，拿起白色瓷盘上的意大利面，上面放着银器，然后把它带进了货车。
So we're zooming away.
所以我们正在远离。
Frank's in the back seat, for all we know, dying.
据我们所知，弗兰克坐在后座上，快要死了。
And I'm holding this plate of spaghetti in the car.
我把这盘意大利面放在车里。
I talked to Cornell, the paramedic.
我和护理人员康奈尔大学谈过。
He said, yes, he remembers her holding the plate of spaghetti while he performed CPR on Frank the entire ride to the hospital, and also feeling kind of like, OK, I guess I'm on my own here.
他说，是的，他记得在去医院的整个旅程中，当他对弗兰克进行心肺复苏时，她拿着那盘意大利面，同时也感觉有点像，好吧，我想我独自一人在这里。
And I don't know why I did it.
我不知道我为什么这么做。
I don't know why I did it.
我不知道我为什么这么做。
I don't know why I did it.
我不知道我为什么这么做。
I was immediately so ashamed and so embarrassed.
我立刻感到非常羞愧和尴尬。
When did you eventually put the plate of spaghetti down?
你什么时候最终放下那盘意大利面的？
[SIGHS] When we got to a hospital.
[叹气]当我们到达医院时。
And I put this plate of spaghetti just on the seat, in the van, and we all went inside.
我把这盘意大利面放在车里的座位上，然后我们就进去了。
Frank ended up being OK.
弗兰克最终平安无事。
They hooked him up to an IV.
他们给他接上了静脉注射器。
He felt better after a couple of hours.
几个小时后他感觉好多了。
They got back in the van to head to the airport.
他们回到面包车上前往机场。
And dear listener, if you're wondering if the plate of spaghetti was still there, if the driver of the van handed it back to Becca like a trophy of shame, if it sat on her lap because she was too ashamed to eat it in front of everyone else, yes, that did happen.
亲爱的听众，如果你想知道那盘意大利面是否还在那儿，面包车司机是否把它当作耻辱的战利品一样交还给贝卡，是否因为她羞于在其他人面前吃它而把它放在她的腿上，是的，这确实发生了。
Afterward, they joked that she was just looking out for them.
后来，他们开玩笑说她只是在照顾他们。
She was just bringing them a snack.
她只是给他们带来了点心。
What do you think was actually happening in your head at that moment?
你认为那一刻你脑子里到底发生了什么？
I think I was hungry and I wanted spaghetti.
我想我饿了，我想吃意大利面。
I think I was being really selfish.
我想我真的很自私。
I really do.
我真的这么做。
I think I was being really selfish.
我想我真的很自私。
It doesn't sound good, right, when I say it.
当我这么说时，听起来不太好，对吧。
To me, it sounds like someone who went into shock.
对我来说，这听起来像是一个震惊的人。
And you don't make rational choices when you're in shock.
当你感到震惊时，你不会做出理性的选择。
But everyone else did.
但其他人都这么做了。
I think that's what still gets me.
我想这仍然让我着迷。
And I have since almost swung the other direction of trying to be so selfless.
从那时起，我几乎改变了努力变得无私的另一个方向。
Just the other day, this woman fell in the middle of the road at the airport, blood everywhere.
就在前几天，这名女子在机场摔倒在马路中间，血迹斑斑。
I drop all my stuff, run over there.
我丢下所有东西，跑过去。
I don't care about my luggage.
我不在乎我的行李。
I don't care about my stuff.
我不关心我的东西。
Someone can steal my phone.
有人可以偷我的手机。
I don't care.
我不在乎。
I need to help this person.
我需要帮助这个人。
She's really trying to change.
她确实在努力改变。
There are other examples.
还有其他例子。
Like last year, when she was driving on the highway, when she saw a car accident, someone flung from their vehicle, she immediately pulled over, left her keys in the ignition, her dog in the back seat, just trying to get to this person to help.
就像去年，当她在高速公路上开车时，当她看到一场车祸，有人从车上摔下来时，她立即靠边停车，把钥匙放在点火开关上，她的狗放在后座上，只是想去找那个人帮忙。
Becca is the only person I talked to who actually lives her life differently after reflecting on how she acted.
贝卡是我交谈过的唯一一个在反思自己的行为后实际上以不同的方式生活的人。
I'm trying to use that in a positive way, I think, now, because it's pretty gross, what I did.
我想，现在我正在尝试以积极的方式利用它，因为我所做的事情非常恶心。
Do you think each time you're doing something like that, are you thinking about that plate of spaghetti on some level?
你是否认为每次你做类似的事情时，你是否在某种程度上想到了那盘意大利面？
Honestly, I think maybe I am, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, yes.
老实说，我想也许我是，在我心灵深处的某个地方，是的。
I think we're tempted to think of these moments of panic as revealing our true nature.
我认为我们很容易认为这些恐慌时刻揭示了我们的真实本性。
But really, that's just the animal part of your brain reacting on instinct.
但实际上，这只是你大脑中动物部分的本能反应。
The stuff we do after those moments, when we apologize, or double down, or gaslight, or atone, that's the part that makes us human.
在那些时刻之后我们所做的事情，当我们道歉、加倍努力、或煤气灯、或赎罪时，这就是我们成为人类的部分。
Act Two, BWE, Big Wig Energy.
第二幕，BWE，Big Wig Energy。
You know those moments in life where everything's falling apart, and it feels like you're drowning?
你知道生活中的那些时刻，一切都崩溃了，感觉就像被淹死了吗？
You've gone through a breakup.
你已经经历了分手。
You've been laid off.
你被解雇了。
And so you just grab on to the first log you see floating down the river, just so you have something to hold on to, like a rebound relationship or some new hobby you get way too invested in.
所以你只要抓住你看到的第一根顺流而下的木头，这样你就有了可以坚持的东西，比如反弹的关系或你过于投入的一些新爱好。
That's what Leisha did, which led her to trying on this whole new identity.
这就是蕾莎所做的，这促使她尝试这个全新的身份。
It began when Leisha's best friend adopted a dog, and Leisha decided to buy a present to celebrate.
故事始于蕾莎最好的朋友收养了一只狗，蕾莎决定买一份礼物来庆祝。
Leisha's best friend is a hardcore Pittsburgh Steelers fan, so she decides to buy the dog a Troy Polamalu jersey.
蕾莎最好的朋友是匹兹堡钢人队的铁杆球迷，因此她决定给这只狗买一件特洛伊·波拉马鲁球衣。
Troy was her friend's favorite player on the team, known for, among other things, his long, curly hair.
特洛伊是她朋友在球队中最喜欢的球员，以他的长卷发而闻名。
Leisha finds a dog jersey, no problem.
蕾莎找到了一件狗的球衣，没问题。
And I thought, oh, this would be great.
我想，哦，这太好了。
I'll get the wig to go with this jersey.
我要买假发来搭配这件球衣。
I went to all the pet stores.
我走遍了所有的宠物店。
I looked online.
我上网查了一下。
And I could not find a wig.
我找不到假发。
And I thought, well, this is like a void that needs to be filled.
我想，这就像一个需要填补的空白。
And I decided I was going to be the one to do it.
我决定我要成为那个做这件事的人。
These days, pet wigs are everywhere.
如今，宠物假发无处不在。
You can order one with next-day shipping.
您可以订购一件并享受次日送达服务。
But this was back in the primitive days of 2014, before our culture had advanced quite that far.
但这是在 2014 年的原始时期，当时我们的文化还没有进步到那么远。
Leisha is good at lots of things.
蕾莎擅长很多事情。
She's a musician and actress.
她是一位音乐家和演员。
You might recognize her from The L Word.
你可能会在《拉字至上》中认出她。
But none of that translated to knowing how to make a hairpiece for a dog.
但这些都没有转化为知道如何为狗制作假发。
Fortunately, her sister is a hairdresser.
幸运的是，她的姐姐是一名美发师。
So together, they bought a bunch of Styrofoam balls in three different sizes to represent the heads of small, medium, and large dogs.
因此，他们一起买了一堆三种不同尺寸的聚苯乙烯泡沫塑料球，分别代表小型、中型和大型狗的头部。
Then they bought some cheap wigs for humans to cut up and turn into prototypes.
然后他们买了一些廉价的假发供人类切割并制成原型。
They came up with 10 different iconic hairstyles from throughout history.
他们想出了历史上 10 种不同的标志性发型。
They made a mullet, a B52-style beehive, a gray Golden Girls wig.
他们制作了一条鲻鱼、一个 B52 风格的蜂箱、一顶灰色的 Golden Girls 假发。
I had a Farrah Fawcett long, blonde flowing hair, feathered.
我有一头法拉·福塞特式的长发，金色飘逸，长着羽毛。
I had a bob, like, "can I see the manager" kind of bob.
我有一个鲍勃，就像“我可以见经理”之类的鲍勃。
I think, for me, it was the beehive because it was so-- it was just the ultimate wig.
我想，对我来说，它就是蜂巢，因为它就是终极假发。
It was fire-red.
它是火红色的。
It had little sideburns that were curled, that came down.
它的鬓角小而卷曲，垂下来。
And it got funnier as it got smaller.
随着它变小，它变得更有趣。
It made a lot of sense on a pitbull, but when it went down to a chihuahua or a Pomeranian, it was hilarious.
这对比特犬来说很有意义，但当它适用于吉娃娃或博美犬时，那就很搞笑了。
I think that was a big part of this, is that it was so silly and so joyful.
我认为这很重要，因为它是如此愚蠢又如此快乐。
It was enjoyable to wake up and think about.
醒来并思考是一件令人愉快的事。
And that's a really nice thing to follow.
这是一件非常值得遵循的事情。
Leisha had had a really rough year before this.
在此之前，莱莎度过了非常艰难的一年。
Her mom got sick.
她妈妈病了。
Then she went through a big breakup.
然后她经历了一次大分手。
Then she left the band she'd been in for the better part of 10 years, which meant she was also out of work.
然后她离开了已经加入了十年的乐队，这意味着她也失业了。
But now she had a mission.
但现在她有一个使命。
Leisha went all in on the pet wigs.
莱莎全力投入宠物假发。
Over the next few months, Leisha and her sister make 30 wigs, all 10 designs in each of the three sizes.
在接下来的几个月里，Leisha 和她的妹妹制作了 30 顶假发，三种尺寸各有 10 种设计。
She also got an LLC, opened a bank account.
她还成立了一家有限责任公司，开设了一个银行账户。
Of course, she needed a name for her product.
当然，她需要为她的产品起一个名字。
She decided to keep it simple-- PetWigs, one word.
她决定保持简单——PetWigs，一个词。
I had a tagline-- it's a wig for your pet.
我有一个口号——这是给你的宠物的假发。
Very descriptive.
非常具有描述性。
[LAUGHS] Leisha Hailey Well, you know--
[笑]Leisha Hailey 好吧，你知道——
If you didn't get from the name that it's wigs for pets.
如果你没从名字上看出来这是宠物假发。
Exactly.
正是如此。
Because that was always the second-- that was always the followup question, when I said I'm making pet wigs.
因为当我说我正在制作宠物假发时，这始终是第二个 - 这始终是后续问题。
People would say-- Leisha Hailey What is a pet wig?
人们会说——Leisha Hailey 什么是宠物假发？
It's a wig for your pet.
这是为您的宠物准备的假发。
It was almost so shocking to people that they had to have that followup question.
这几乎让人们感到震惊，以至于他们不得不提出后续问题。
So I made it clear.
所以我说清楚了。
Three of Leisha's friends were living with her at the time.
当时蕾莎的三个朋友和她住在一起。
Their prototypes were always scattered around the living room, and all three friends got really into the project.
他们的原型总是散落在客厅各处，三个朋友都非常投入这个项目。
One made a website.
一个人做了一个网站。
Another took over social media.
另一个人接管了社交媒体。
The third signed her up for conventions, including DragCon.
第三个让她报名参加各种大会，包括 DragCon。
Leisha was very excited about DragCon.
蕾莎对 DragCon 感到非常兴奋。
She could show the wigs to people who really know and love wigs and find out if there's any possible market for them.
她可以把假发展示给真正了解和喜爱假发的人，看看它们是否有可能的市场。
So in preparation, she spent a ton of time building out her booth.
因此，在准备过程中，她花了很多时间搭建自己的展位。
It was beautiful.
很漂亮。
I just want to give it full props.
我只是想给它充分的支持。
It was a really great-looking booth.
这是一个非常漂亮的展位。
It was like a room you walked into.
这就像你走进的一个房间。
It was all white and clean.
一切都是白色的，干净的。
I had all the samples on a wall on shelves.
我把所有的样品都放在墙上的架子上。
And I remember I really wanted it to sort of feel like when you walk into the Apple Store.
我记得我真的希望它有一种走进苹果专卖店的感觉。
I wanted it to be clean lines, white walls, very stark.
我希望它是干净的线条、白色的墙壁、非常鲜明的。
And then I wanted the pictures and the wigs to be the moment.
然后我希望照片和假发成为当下的焦点。
So I wanted it to be top of the line, classic, like so high-- I wanted it to feel high-end.
所以我希望它是顶级的、经典的、高端的——我希望它给人高端的感觉。
The reaction that people had when they rounded the corner, people lit up in a way I've never been a part of.
人们拐过街角时的反应，他们以一种我从未参与过的方式点亮。
I've never seen people so happy.
我从未见过人们如此幸福。
[CHUCKLES] I had a line out the door.
[笑]我在门外排队。
I'm not going to say they were climbing over each other to get to it, but it was sort of rabid.
我不会说他们互相攀爬才能到达目的地，但这有点疯狂。
RuPaul himself even came by the booth.
鲁保罗本人甚至来到了展位。
He loved the wigs.
他喜欢假发。
And it's then that something shifts for Leisha.
就在那时，莱莎的事情发生了变化。
Because it's one thing for your sister or your friends to like your idea, but when a stranger, clear-eyed in their total indifference to your well-being, when they tell you your idea is good, you believe it.
因为你的姐妹或你的朋友喜欢你的想法是一回事，但是当一个陌生人，他们对你的幸福完全漠不关心时，当他们告诉你你的想法很好时，你就会相信它。
So, riding the high of DragCon, Leisha decides it's time to go big.
因此，在 DragCon 的盛况下，蕾莎决定是时候大干一场了。
She sets up an appointment with Walmart.
她与沃尔玛预约了。
She flies to Bentonville, Arkansas, home of Walmart headquarters.
她飞往阿肯色州本顿维尔，那里是沃尔玛总部所在地。
The building is hulking and corporate, with big glass doors and security guards, a far cry from her sunny living room littered with wigs.
这座建筑笨重而企业化，有大玻璃门和保安，与她阳光明媚、散落着假发的客厅相去甚远。
It's suddenly all feeling very official.
突然之间，一切都变得非常正式。
It felt-- you know when Annie walks into-- in the musical, when Daddy Warbucks-- you know?
当安妮走进音乐剧时，当沃巴克斯爸爸时，你知道吗？
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Leisha Hailey She walks into the house, and she's looking around.
Leisha Hailey 她走进房子，环顾四周。
Like, almost like that.
就像，几乎就这样。
Like, am I going to like it here?
比如，我会喜欢这里吗？
A rep meets her in the lobby, and they walk down this long hallway to his office, passing dozens of identical offices, each filled with other people pitching their products.
一位代表在大厅遇见了她，他们沿着这条长长的走廊走到他的办公室，经过数十个相同的办公室，每个办公室都挤满了推销产品的人。
Leisha said it felt like a factory.
蕾莎说感觉就像一个工厂。
Leisha sits down opposite the Walmart guy, setting her bag of wigs next to her on the floor.
莱莎坐在沃尔玛店员对面，把一袋假发放在她旁边的地板上。
She takes a deep breath and makes her pitch.
她深吸一口气，开始发言。
She starts as confidently as she feels.
她一开始就如她所感觉的那样自信。
One of the first things out of my mouth was, "I'm about to blow your mind."
我嘴里说的第一句话就是：“我要让你大吃一惊了。”
This, unsurprisingly, was not the first time this guy had heard this.
不出所料，这家伙已经不是第一次听到这种话了。
But then Leisha goes in for the hard sell.
但随后莱莎开始强行推销。
I think I talked a lot about the void in the market, the missing piece, the finishing touch to every costume out there, the billions of costumes that are sold every day to pets, to owners, all around the world, yet they're not completed.
我想我谈了很多关于市场的空白、缺失的部分、每件服装的最后润色、每天向世界各地的宠物、主人出售的数十亿件服装，但它们尚未完成。
Because that was a real frustration of mine.
因为那是我真正的挫败感。
It honestly was.
老实说确实如此。
It drove me crazy that you couldn't complete a costume.
你无法完成一套服装，这让我抓狂。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Leisha Hailey He said, OK, let me see them.
Leisha Hailey 他说，好吧，让我看看他们。
And I put them on the desk and presented my pitch deck.
我把它们放在桌子上并展示了我的融资演讲稿。
And the first thing he said was, great.
他说的第一句话是，太好了。
I'd like to place an order.
我想要点菜。
I think this would be great for Halloween.
我想这对于万圣节来说会很棒。
Let's launch at Halloween.
让我们在万圣节开始吧。
Oh, my god.
我的天啊。
Leisha Hailey I know.
蕾莎·海莉 我知道。
And right away, the questions started coming at me.
很快，问题就开始向我袭来。
How much can you make them for?
你能花多少钱制作它们？
Where are you making these?
你在哪里做这些？
How are they packaged?
它们是如何包装的？
How fast can you turn these around?
你能以多快的速度扭转这些局面？
Do you have insurance?
你有保险吗？
Just on and on.
就这样一直持续下去。
Of all the questions the Walmart guy asked you in your meeting, how many of them did you have answers for, would you say?
您会说，在沃尔玛工作人员在会议中向您提出的所有问题中，您回答了多少个问题？
Zero.
零。
I had nothing.
我什么都没有。
Aviva DeKornfeld But how did you think that-- how capable were you of fulfilling the Walmart order?
Aviva DeKornfeld 但是您如何看待——您履行沃尔玛订单的能力有多大？
I had no means at the time to fulfill one wig order.
当时我没有办法完成一份假发订单。
Not even one?
连一个都没有吗？
Leisha Hailey Yeah.
蕾莎·海莉 是的。
I would have called my sister back up and said, we've got to get cracking.
我会打电话给我姐姐并说，我们必须开始行动了。
I got some wigs to make.
我要制作一些假发。
I just had the idea.
我只是有这个想法。
I had a great idea.
我有一个好主意。
All at once, the improbability of Leisha's whole scheme caught up to her.
突然间，蕾莎的整个计划变得不可能了。
Until now, Leisha had been charging full speed ahead, never stopping to consider even basic questions of viability.
到目前为止，蕾莎一直在全速前进，从未停下来考虑哪怕是最基本的生存问题。
But now, here was this Walmart guy forcing her to consider, for the first time, the reality of this project, which, frankly, Leisha had no interest in doing.
但现在，这个沃尔玛家伙迫使她第一次考虑这个项目的现实，坦率地说，蕾莎对此没有兴趣。
I remember just wanting to take the wigs and put them back in my safe little bag with my great little ideas and zip it up, and just like, yeah, never mind, you know?
我记得只是想把假发放回我安全的小包里，里面装着我伟大的小想法，然后拉上拉链，就像，是的，没关系，你知道吗？
You just want to--
你只是想——
Protect them from-- Leisha Hailey --forget about it.
保护他们免受——Leisha Hailey——算了。
Yes, from the horror of reality.
是的，来自现实的恐怖。
Because that's what he represented to you?
因为这就是他向你所代表的？
He was like reality crashing and ruining the fun?
他就像是现实崩溃了，破坏了乐趣？
100%.
100%。
I think he just made me realize it was about to become very unfun very, very fast.
我想他只是让我意识到事情很快就会变得非常非常无趣。
That was it.
就是这样。
Aviva DeKornfeld And with that, Leisha did what so many people fail to do.
艾维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 就这样，莱莎做到了很多人未能做到的事情。
That little life raft she'd created for herself when things were rough?
她在遇到困难时为自己建造的那个小救生筏？
That log she jumped on?
她跳上的那根木头？
She jumped right back off.
她直接跳了回来。
She didn't double down.
她并没有加倍努力。
She didn't marry the rebound relationship.
她没有嫁给反弹关系。
Suddenly, she was able to see her pet wigs fever dream for what it was.
突然，她看清了自己的梦想到底是什么。
It was sort of a strange fantasy bridge that I walked across for a year and a half.
这是一座奇怪的幻想桥，我走过了一年半。
Because once it was over, things sort of normalized.
因为一旦结束，事情就恢复正常了。
And the pieces of my life that I was used to started falling back into place.
我习惯的生活片段开始回归原位。
Yeah, I think I was better.
是的，我想我更好。
I think I was done.
我想我已经完成了。
Leisha tossed the pet wigs into a bin in the shed behind her house, didn't think much about them.
蕾莎把宠物假发扔进了她家后面棚子里的一个垃圾箱里，没有多想它们。
And after some time, she threw them away.
一段时间后，她把它们扔掉了。
How did it feel when Halloween rolled around?
万圣节来临之际，你的感受如何？
The first Halloween, when I would walk through the pet aisles, I'm like, oh, they're still not here.
第一个万圣节，当我走过宠物过道时，我想，哦，他们还没来。
I still don't see a wig.
我还是没看到假发。
Someone should really do something about this.
有人真的应该为此做点什么。
Yes, someone should, right.
是的，有人应该这样做，对吧。
Aviva DeKornfeld But it's not going to be me.
Aviva DeKornfeld 但这不会是我。
Exactly.
确切地。
Aviva DeKornfeld Sometimes the reflection you see of yourself, it's just a mirage.
Aviva DeKornfeld 有时候，你看到的自己的倒影，只是海市蜃楼。
There for a moment, then it disappears.
在那里呆了一会儿，然后就消失了。
And there you are again, the same person you always were.
你又来了，还是原来的你。
Coming up, how not to explain drugs to your kid.
接下来，如何不向您的孩子解释毒品。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Aviva DeKornfeld, sitting in for Ira Glass.
我是艾维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld)，代理艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass)。
Our show today-- Suddenly, A Mirror.
我们今天的节目——突然间，一面镜子。
We have stories about people catching surprising reflections of themselves and what they do with that information.
我们有一些故事，讲述的是人们对自己的惊人反思以及他们如何处理这些信息。
When I was thinking about this theme, I remembered this story about this guy I went to college with.
当我思考这个主题时，我想起了和我一起上大学的那个人的故事。
His name is Ari.
他的名字叫阿里。
We went to school just outside Los Angeles, and Ari moved to LA proper after graduation.
我们在洛杉矶郊外上学，阿里毕业后搬到了洛杉矶。
One afternoon, the summer after he graduated, he was driving around.
毕业后的那个夏天，一个下午，他开车四处走动。
I couldn't have been more brains off in this moment.
这一刻我简直不能再动脑子了。
I mean, I was just stuck in traffic, driving along the highway, and was just passively playing the radio.
我的意思是，我只是堵在路上，沿着高速公路行驶，只是被动地播放着收音机。
Yeah.
是的。
I was doing a drive like that, had done it a million times kind of thing.
我正在做这样的驾驶，已经做了一百万次了。
He was listening to KCRW, one of the local public radio stations.
他正在收听 KCRW，当地的公共广播电台之一。
And--
还有——
The DJ on the radio was just playing a lot of really good music, song after song.
收音机里的 DJ 一首接一首地播放着很多非常好的音乐。
It was like, whoa.
就像，哇。
I want to say, just a lot of things that were very popular in 2015.
我想说，就是2015年非常流行的很多东西。
So like, indie pop.
就像独立流行音乐一样。
And I was just like, whoa, who is this DJ?
我当时就想，哇，这个 DJ 是谁？
And then they start back announcing the songs, which means after they play a couple songs, they have to do the credits.
然后他们开始重新宣布歌曲，这意味着在他们播放几首歌后，他们必须制作学分。
And I just start having this picture in my head of who they are, like this classic idea of what I understood KCRW DJs to be like, which was a really cool woman who's single, in her late 30s, early 40s, has been on the alt scene for her whole career, has a short pixie cut.
我的脑海中开始浮现出他们是谁，就像我所理解的 KCRW DJ 的经典想法一样，这是一位非常酷的单身女性，30 岁末、40 岁出头，整个职业生涯都在另类场景中，留着短发。
I don't know why.
我不知道为什么。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, I just saw it.
是的，我刚看到。
Aviva DeKornfeld So Ari is driving along, feeling like he's found his radio DJ soulmate.
Aviva DeKornfeld So Ari 开车前行，感觉自己找到了自己的电台 DJ 灵魂伴侣。
I was like, wow, this person has the exact same music taste as me.
我当时想，哇，这个人的音乐品味和我一模一样。
This is going to become a staple of my commute, catching their show.
这将成为我通勤的主要内容，观看他们的表演。
And this is going to be just the start of a rich, wonderful, one-sided relationship.
这只是一段丰富、美妙、单方面关系的开始。
And after they back announce everything, they go, you're listening to the Frothy Indie Electronics Show with me, DJ Ari, here on KSPC.
当他们回来宣布一切后，他们走了，你正在和我一起在 KSPC 上听泡沫独立电子展，DJ Ari。
And I realized that the voice is me.
我意识到那个声音就是我。
And I mean, I was just so out of my body, floored because--
我的意思是，我简直失去了我的身体，陷入了困境，因为——
You're the lady.
你就是那个女士。
Ari Because I'm the lady, exactly.
阿里：因为我就是那位女士，没错。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
That's so weird.
那太奇怪了。
Ari Yeah.
阿里 是的。
It was like reality broke for a second.
就像现实瞬间破碎了一样。
How is it possible that I am hearing my own voice?
我怎么可能听到自己的声音？
What had happened was this.
事情的经过是这样的。
Ari was not listening to KCRW.
Ari 没有听 KCRW 的声音。
He had accidentally tuned to KSPC, our college radio station, where he had DJed as a student.
他无意中调到了我们大学的广播电台 KSPC，他在学生时代曾在那里当过 DJ。
And this set he was listening to was actually a rerun of a show he had done a few months prior.
他正在听的这一套实际上是他几个月前做过的节目的重播。
This mistake he'd made, it was actually a version of a mistake that many, many people had made.
他犯的这个错误，实际上是很多很多人都犯过的错误的一个版本。
You see, anytime Ari is on the phone with someone who doesn't personally know him, they always assume that he's a woman every single time.
你看，每当阿里与不认识他的人通电话时，他们每次都会认为他是女性。
And that doesn't really bother him.
这并没有真正困扰他。
It's not like he finds it insulting or anything.
他并不认为这是侮辱或其他什么。
It's more, he just finds it confusing.
更重要的是，他只是觉得这很混乱。
I don't see it, basically.
基本上我没看到。
I just don't hear this is something that I'm going to immediately presume to be a female voice, until I did, in the moment of hearing my voice on the radio.
我只是没有听到这是我会立即认为是女性声音的东西，直到我在广播中听到我的声音的那一刻。
It's cool that when you finally heard your voice as the rest of the world hears it, you really liked it.
当你终于像世界其他地方一样听到你的声音时，你真的很喜欢它，这很酷。
Oh, hell yeah.
哦，天哪，是的。
I was picturing the coolest person.
我正在想象最酷的人。
Act Three, There Will Be Questions.
第三幕，会有问题。
This next story is about a dad who catches glimpses of himself in the questions his daughter asks him.
下一个故事讲述的是一位父亲在女儿问他的问题中瞥见了自己的影子。
The dad is comedian Mike Birbiglia, and he's been traveling around, talking about these questions on stage for over a year now.
父亲是喜剧演员迈克·比尔比利亚（Mike Birbiglia），他一年多来一直在舞台上谈论这些问题。
It's a pretty wide-ranging show.
这是一个范围相当广泛的节目。
Here's an excerpt.
这是摘录。
I'm walking my daughter home from school.
我正在送女儿放学回家。
And my wife and daughter and I live in Brooklyn, and there's all these smoke shops there.
我和我的妻子、女儿住在布鲁克林，那里有很多烟店。
And they have these cutesy names like Blazy Susan--
他们有这些可爱的名字，比如 Blazy Susan——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --and Yes, We Can-nabis.
[观众笑声]——是的，我们吸大麻。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And my daughter Oona looks up.
[观众笑声] 我女儿乌娜抬起头来。
She's nine years old.
她九岁了。
She looks up at the name of one of these shops, and she goes, Dad, what's The Good Life?
她抬头看着其中一家商店的名字，然后问道，爸爸，什么是“美好生活”？
And I was like, I don't even know.
我当时想，我什至不知道。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] It's not what I'm doing.
[观众笑声]这不是我正在做的事情。
And but then it was one of those moments where I'm like, oh, I should try to explain drugs as best I can.
但那是我想的那些时刻之一，哦，我应该尽力解释毒品。
And I was like, well, some people use drugs, and they make your brain happy, but it's sort of a fake happy.
我当时想，好吧，有些人使用毒品，它们会让你的大脑快乐，但这有点假快乐。
And you don't want to get too happy because then you gotta use more drugs to get it as happy as it was the first time.
而且你不想变得太快乐，因为那样你就必须使用更多的药物才能让它像第一次一样快乐。
And then the eighth or ninth time, you're in real trouble.
然后第八次或第九次，你就真的遇到麻烦了。
Anyway, Mom and I use them sometimes.
不管怎样，我和妈妈有时会用它们。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Not often, mostly when we were younger.
[观众笑声] 不常见，主要是在我们年轻的时候。
Not your age, like three years older than you are now.
不是你的年龄，比你现在大三岁。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] But I use prescription drugs.
[观众笑声]但我使用处方药。
I don't want to, but I have to because I have a serious sleepwalking disorder.
我不想，但我必须这么做，因为我有严重的梦游症。
The reason I bring up the sleepwalking is that 20 years ago, I get diagnosed with REM sleep behavior disorder, and they put me on Klonopin.
我之所以提起梦游，是因为 20 年前，我被诊断出患有快速眼动睡眠行为障碍，他们让我服用 Klonopin。
And I recently went to a new doctor, and she's looking at my chart.
我最近去看了一位新医生，她正在看我的病历。
And she goes, you've been on Klonopin for 20 years?
她说，你已经服用 Klonopin 20 年了？
And I go, yeah.
我走了，是的。
She goes, all right.
她走了，好吧。
That was--
那是——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] That is not what you want to hear when you go to the doctor.
[观众笑声] 当你去看医生时，这不是你想听到的。
I go, are you concerned?
我去，你担心吗？
She goes, well, do you know the side effects?
她说，好吧，你知道副作用吗？
I go, I don't know.
我去，我不知道。
She goes, depression, loss of memory, poor motor skills.
她患有抑郁症、记忆力减退、运动技能差。
I said, oh, I just thought that was my personality.
我说，哦，我只是觉得这就是我的性格。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] It's a strange moment in one's life when you realize your personality is side effects.
[观众笑声] 当你意识到你的性格是副作用时，这是一个人生命中的一个奇怪的时刻。
Because then I'm just self-conscious about all my daily activities.
因为那时我对我所有的日常活动都会感到不自在。
One thing I do every night before bed is my dosage of Klonopin is 1 and 1/2 milligrams.
我每晚睡前做的一件事是我的 Klonopin 剂量是 1又 1/2 毫克。
And so I have to break a pill precisely in half.
所以我必须将药丸准确地切成两半。
Yeah, you know who shouldn't have a precision task like that?
是的，你知道谁不应该承担这样的精确任务吗？
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Someone with poor motor skills.
[观众笑声] 运动技能较差的人。
Because inevitably, I break it in half, and there's a pile of Klonopin dust on the sink.
因为不可避免地，我把它分成两半，水槽上有一堆可洛平灰尘。
And I'm depressed, and I'm crying into the dust.
我很沮丧，我哭到了尘埃里。
And the tears are merging to form a Klonopin sorbet.
眼泪融合成可洛平冰糕。
And then I lick up--
然后我舔起来——
--what I perceive to be a half a milligram, but definitely isn't a half a milligram.
——我认为是半毫克，但绝对不是半毫克。
So how do I explain that to my daughter?
那么我该如何向我女儿解释呢？
That's the good life.
这就是美好的生活。
Yeah, that's what they're saying.
是的，他们就是这么说的。
There are so many things I feel like I can't explain to my daughter.
有很多事情我觉得无法向女儿解释。
She's nine years old.
她九岁了。
And it's just getting harder and harder.
而且它变得越来越难。
Because when they're younger, it sort of doesn't matter.
因为当他们年轻的时候，这并不重要。
They're an animated bag of rice, and you just gotta make sure they stay animated.
它们是一袋动画的大米，你只需确保它们保持动画状态即可。
And then, even when they're toddlers, it's a lot of layups.
然后，即使他们还是小孩，也会有很多上篮。
What's that?
那是什么？
That's an egg.
那是一个鸡蛋。
I'm a genius, you know.
我是个天才，你知道的。
But--
但是——
And my wife doesn't know that much stuff either.
我的妻子也不懂那么多东西。
She's a poet.
她是一位诗人。
I'm a comedian.
我是一名喜剧演员。
Together, we're a sculptor.
我们一起是一名雕塑家。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] We just don't know a lot.
[观众笑声]我们知道的不多。
I mean, and it just started to become very clear to me about a year ago because I get a call from my mom.
我的意思是，大约一年前，因为我接到妈妈的电话，我才开始变得非常清楚。
And she said, Dad was sick this week.
她说，爸爸这周病了。
And I tried to get him to go to his doctor, but he wouldn't go.
我试图让他去看医生，但他不肯去。
And then yesterday, he fell down in the bathtub.
然后昨天，他在浴缸里摔倒了。
And I called 911, and the ambulance took him into the ER.
我拨打了 911，救护车把他送进了急诊室。
And it turned out he had had a stroke.
结果发现他中风了。
And I get off the phone, and I'm alone in my bedroom.
我挂掉电话，卧室里只剩下我一个人。
And then I go into my closet.
然后我走进我的衣柜。
I'm just sort of organizing things.
我只是在组织一些事情。
And I just start crying, alone.
我就开始独自哭泣。
And my daughter Oona comes in, and she goes, Dad, what's wrong?
我女儿乌娜进来了，她说，爸爸，怎么了？
And I go, well, Grandpa had a stroke.
我说，好吧，爷爷中风了。
And she says, Dad, what's a stroke?
她说，爸爸，什么是中风？
And that's when I realized.
就在那时我意识到了。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
[观众笑声]
I can't really explain what a stroke is.
我无法真正解释什么是中风。
I took a swing.
我挥了挥杆。
I mean, I know the bullet points.
我的意思是，我知道要点。
I go, it's a brain injury, and there's bleeding in your brain.
我去，是脑损伤，脑部流血了。
And then it was a lot of free association after that, you know.
之后就是很多自由联想，你知道。
I was like, it's your brain.
我当时想，这是你的大脑。
Your brain is bleeding.
你的大脑在流血。
And I'm not sure where the blood was, but I think it was in the vessels.
我不确定血液在哪里，但我认为是在血管里。
And they're sort of all in there, you know?
他们都在那里，你知道吗？
And but now, it's just-- it's everywhere.
但现在，它无处不在。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] I think.
[观众笑声]我想。
And maybe ask your mom about that or Grandpa, but not this week, you know?
也许可以问问你妈妈或爷爷，但不是这周，你知道吗？
And--
还有——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] So Oona goes, is Grandpa Vin going to be OK?
[观众笑声] 那么 Oona 走了，Vin 爷爷会没事吗？
And I go, I don't know.
然后我就走了，我不知道。
I'm going to go home tonight.
今晚我要回家了。
So that night, I drove to Providence, Rhode Island, to the hospital.
于是那天晚上，我开车去了罗德岛州的普罗维登斯，去了医院。
And I take the elevator up to the eighth floor, to the stroke unit.
我乘电梯到八楼，去中风病房。
And I see my dad, and he's just a shell of himself.
我看到了我的父亲，他只是一个空壳。
He can't move half of his body, and he can't really speak.
他半个身子都动不了，也说不出话来。
And the neurologist came in, and she goes, Vince, we're going to do a spinal tap.
神经科医生进来了，她说，文斯，我们要做脊髓穿刺。
My dad happens to be a retired neurologist.
我父亲恰好是一位退休的神经科医生。
So from the condition he was in, he suggested a type of spinal tap.
因此，根据他的情况，他建议进行一种脊椎穿刺术。
He goes, guided spinal tap, which is impressive, but also a good example of how controlling my dad is.
他进行了引导性脊椎穿刺，这令人印象深刻，但也是我父亲如何控制的一个很好的例子。
I'm watching a half-dead neurologist tell a fully alive neurologist--
我正在看着一个半死不活的神经科医生告诉一个还活着的神经科医生——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] --how to do her job.
[观众笑声]——如何做好她的工作。
I mean, that is next-level mansplaining.
我的意思是，这是下一个级别的男人说教。
I mean, that is--
我的意思是，那就是——
It was devastating seeing my dad in this condition because when I was a kid, I always viewed my dad as larger than life.
看到我父亲处于这种状态，我感到很沮丧，因为当我还是个孩子的时候，我总是认为我的父亲比生命更伟大。
He was almost like a mythological creature, you know?
他几乎就像一个神话人物，你知道吗？
Just, in a way, I sort of wanted to be my dad because he knew so much stuff.
只是，在某种程度上，我有点想成为我的父亲，因为他知道很多东西。
He was a doctor, and in his free time, he got his law degree.
他是一名医生，在业余时间获得了法律学位。
Yeah.
是的。
That's how much he didn't want to be a dad.
这就是他多么不想当爸爸。
He was like--
他就像——
He was like, what can I do in these slots of time when I would be parenting?
他说，当我要养育孩子的时候，我能在这些时间里做什么呢？
In fairness, we weren't great kids.
公平地说，我们都不是好孩子。
We always wanted a dad.
我们一直想要一个爸爸。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And he wanted another secondary degree.
[观众笑声]他想要另一个二级学位。
So our goals were at odds.
所以我们的目标是不一致的。
My dad was a doctor, but I didn't really see him that way, you know.
我父亲是一名医生，但你知道，我并没有真正这么看他。
Every once in a while, when I was a kid, strangers would come up to me.
当我还是个孩子的时候，每隔一段时间就会有陌生人来找我。
They'd be like, (BOSTON ACCENT) your dad is a great doctor!
他们会说，（波士顿口音）你爸爸是一位伟大的医生！
And all right, you know?
好吧，你知道吗？
From Worcester, Massachusetts, that's how everyone talks.
来自马萨诸塞州伍斯特市的每个人都这么说话。
(BOSTON ACCENT) Your dad is a great doctor.
（波士顿口音）你爸爸是一位伟大的医生。
It's like, we don't-- none of us fully understand what our parents do when we're kids.
就像，我们没有人完全理解我们的父母在我们还是孩子的时候做了什么。
It was rare that I saw my dad as a doctor.
我很少见到我的父亲是一名医生。
I remember a couple times-- I played soccer when I was a kid.
我记得有几次——我小时候踢过足球。
I was the goalie.
我是守门员。
And one time, I dove head-first for the ball.
有一次，我头朝下扑向球。
And I got to it.
我做到了。
And then the kid on the other team kicked my head-- I know-- with the intensity he had intended for the ball.
然后另一队的那个孩子踢了我的头——我知道——他踢球时的力度很大。
And I don't know the rest of the story.
我不知道故事的其余部分。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] But I have been told that I hopped up, and I was like, I'm good.
[观众笑声] 但有人告诉我我跳了起来，我当时想，我很好。
[CHUCKLES] And they took my word for it, and they kept me in the game.
[笑]他们相信我的话，让我继续参与游戏。
And about 15 minutes later, I just wander off the field.
大约 15 分钟后，我就离开了球场。
--onto another field.
——到另一个领域。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]
[观众笑声]
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE] And my teammates ran over.
[欢呼，掌声]我的队友们跑了过来。
They go, Mike, are you OK?
他们走了，迈克，你还好吗？
And I said to them-- and I quote-- I go, what are we even doing here?
我对他们说——我引用一下——我走了，我们到底在这里做什么？
And my dad ran onto the field.
我爸爸跑到了操场上。
And he picked me up, and he carried me off.
他把我抱起来，然后把我带走了。
And he drove me home.
然后他开车送我回家。
And he asked me all the questions that doctors asked their patients.
他问了我医生问病人的所有问题。
What's your middle name?
你的中间名是什么？
What are the classes you take at school?
你在学校上什么课？
And I was like, oh, OK, this is what my dad does.
我当时想，哦，好吧，这就是我爸爸所做的。
And then the other time when it came up is that I went to St. Mary's School for grade school in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts.
另一次，我在马萨诸塞州什鲁斯伯里的圣玛丽学校读小学。
And every Friday night, we had science club, which is kind of like a mafia front for Catholic school.
每个星期五晚上，我们都有科学俱乐部，这有点像天主教学校的黑手党幌子。
Like, (BOSTON ACCENT) we believe Jesus turned water into wine, and also, there were dinosaurs, you know.
就像，（波士顿口音）我们相信耶稣把水变成了酒，而且，还有恐龙，你知道。
And--
还有——
So every Friday night, it's like a different parent explaining what science has to do with their job.
所以每个周五晚上，就像不同的家长解释科学与他们的工作有什么关系。
And one night, it was going to be my dad, and I was so nervous.
有一天晚上，我爸爸要来了，我非常紧张。
I was like, what's he going to say?
我当时想，他会说什么？
He doesn't know anything about science.
他对科学一无所知。
And he came in, and he brought his medical tools.
他进来了，带来了他的医疗工具。
And he took them out one by one.
然后他就把它们一一取出来。
He explained what each of them does.
他解释了他们每个人的职责。
He took out a three-dimensional model of the brain and explained the hemispheres of the brain.
他拿出了大脑的三维模型，并解释了大脑的半球。
And all these kids came up to me afterwards, and they were like, your dad is wicked smart.
后来所有这些孩子都来找我，他们说，你爸爸太聪明了。
You have the smartest dad.
你有一个最聪明的爸爸。
I was like, yeah, I do have the smartest dad.
我当时想，是的，我确实有最聪明的爸爸。
But how come he didn't explain any of that stuff to me sooner?
但他为什么不早点向我解释这些事情呢？
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Because I just didn't see a lot of that, you know?
[观众笑声] 因为我没有看到很多这样的东西，你知道吗？
What I would see of my dad was, he'd come home from work around 8 o'clock at night, and he would sit in the corner of the living room and read a war novel and scowl.
我看到的父亲是晚上八点左右下班回家，坐在客厅的一角，愁眉苦脸地读一本战争小说。
And every now and then, he'd sort of fly off the handle about some little thing.
有时候，他会因为一些小事而发脾气。
He'd be like, (SHOUTING) where are my goddamn keys?
他会说，（大喊）我该死的钥匙在哪里？
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] I'd be like, we gotta find Dad's keys!
[观众笑声]我想，我们必须找到爸爸的钥匙！
I spent my whole life looking for those keys.
我一生都在寻找那些钥匙。
So we'd look for the keys, and then my mom would just pray, you know.
所以我们会寻找钥匙，然后我妈妈就会祈祷，你知道。
She'd be like, I'm going to say a prayer to St. Anthony.
她会说，我要向圣安东尼祈祷。
I was seven.
我当时七岁。
I was like, I don't think this is going to work.
我当时想，我认为这行不通。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] We need more concrete tactics to locate the keys.
[观众笑声]我们需要更具体的策略来找到钥匙。
My dad would not like that joke.
我爸爸不喜欢这个笑话。
No, my dad doesn't like a lot of my jokes, but he particularly doesn't like it when they're crude, and then also personal.
不，我爸爸不喜欢我的很多笑话，但他特别不喜欢那些粗俗、而且还带有个人色彩的笑话。
And he doesn't like political jokes.
而且他不喜欢政治笑话。
As a matter of fact, when I was in my 20s, I was doing a political joke, and then we ended up having this discussion from it about politics.
事实上，当我20多岁的时候，我开了一个政治玩笑，然后我们就从这个玩笑中讨论了政治。
And it was tense.
气氛很紧张。
I was visiting him, and we went for a walk on this wooded path behind his house.
我去拜访他，我们在他房子后面的这条树林小路上散步。
And the farther we walked, the more tense it got, to the point where he was just saying mean-spirited things about me.
我们越走越紧张，他甚至开始说我的坏话。
And then I started saying mean-spirited things about him.
然后我就开始说他的坏话。
And I got back to my car, and I said, bye, Dad.
我回到车里，我说，再见，爸爸。
And he didn't say goodbye.
他没有说再见。
He goes, well, you've gone another way.
他走了，好吧，你走了另一条路。
And that was it.
就是这样。
And I just drove home.
我刚刚开车回家。
And I just felt so adrift.
我只是感觉很茫然。
I thought my whole life, I sort of wanted to be my dad.
我以为我一生都想成为我的父亲。
And at a certain point, I decided I wanted him to be me.
在某个时刻，我决定让他成为我。
So I'm with my dad in March at the hospital, and it's devastating.
所以三月份我和父亲一起在医院，这真是毁灭性的。
I mean, if you've been with someone who's had a stroke, I mean, it's the worst thing you can possibly imagine.
我的意思是，如果你和一个中风的人在一起，我的意思是，这是你能想象到的最糟糕的事情。
But I will say, if I'm being completely honest, it has calmed him down.
但我要说的是，如果我完全诚实的话，这让他平静下来。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Stay with me.
[观众笑声] 留在我身边。
Most of the jokes are for you, but a few of them are for me.
大多数笑话是给你看的，但也有一些是给我看的。
This is--
这是——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] This is a coping mechanism.
[观众笑声]这是一种应对机制。
I hope it is for you, too.
我希望它也适合你。
I mean, most of the time, this is horrific.
我的意思是，大多数时候，这都是可怕的。
But then every once in a while, I'm like, where was the stroke when I was five?
但每隔一段时间，我就会想，我五岁时中风在哪里？
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
When I was a kid, he'd be like, (SHOUTING) where are my goddamn keys?
当我还是个孩子的时候，他会说，（大喊）我该死的钥匙在哪里？
Now he's like, keys.
现在他就像，钥匙。
And I'm like, I can't say I don't prefer the latter.
我想，我不能说我不喜欢后者。
It is a little more polite.
算是比较有礼貌一点。
So I'm with my dad in March at the hospital, and then he can't even really move his face.
所以三月份我和我爸爸一起在医院，然后他甚至不能真正移动他的脸。
And so the only way I can even understand his expression is through his eyes.
所以我只能通过他的眼睛来理解他的表情。
And the expression in his eyes is fear.
而他眼中的表情，则是恐惧。
So how do I explain that to my daughter?
那么我该如何向我女儿解释呢？
Mike Birbiglia.
迈克·比尔比利亚。
This was an excerpt from his brand new comedy special, The Good Life.
这是他的全新喜剧特辑《美好生活》的节选。
It comes out this week, Monday, the 26th.
它将于本周 26 号星期一发布。
Go watch it.
去看吧。
Act Four, Trouble Afoot.
第四幕，麻烦正在发生。
As you've heard many, many times in today's show, how you behave in a crisis, sometimes it shows you who you really are.
正如您在今天的节目中多次听到的那样，您在危机中的表现有时会显示您的真实身份。
That can be true even with a very small crisis.
即使是非常小的危机也是如此。
Here's David Kestenbaum.
请听大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆的报道。
The story starts with a shoe that one day seemed to stop existing.
故事始于一只有一天似乎不再存在的鞋子。
It was a gray and white Adidas, belonging to one Ruby Gans, age 24.
那是一辆灰白色的阿迪达斯，属于 Ruby Gans，24 岁。
Ruby had worn it and its mate to work, like she did just about every day.
鲁比每天都戴着它和它的伴侣去上班。
She's not a person who has a lot of shoes.
她不是一个拥有很多鞋子的人。
At the end of the day, she switched to her running shoes to go for a run with a friend.
一天结束时，她换上跑鞋和朋友一起去跑步。
The Adidas, she stuck in her car.
阿迪达斯，她被困在车里。
After the run, she drove home, then reached over to the back seat, where she'd put the shoes.
跑步结束后，她开车回家，然后把手伸到后座，把鞋子放在那里。
And there's only one shoe.
而且只有一只鞋。
And so, I did my best.
所以，我尽了最大努力。
It was dark at that point.
那时天已经黑了。
So I did my best to sort through the car and look under the seats.
所以我尽最大努力对汽车进行整理并查看座椅下方。
Still, only one shoe.
仍然只有一只鞋。
It was weird to lose just one.
只失去一个就很奇怪了。
The next morning, she looks everywhere-- around the car, on the sidewalk.
第二天早上，她四处张望——汽车周围、人行道上。
This is in Santa Barbara, California.
这是在加利福尼亚州圣巴巴拉。
She texts her parents, who live nearby, "I seem to have lost a sneaker." Her dad texts back, "Have you looked on your feet?" Ruby-- "I have looked on my feet." Dads.
她给住在附近的父母发短信说：“我好像丢了一只运动鞋。”她爸爸回复道：“你检查过你的脚吗？”鲁比——“我检查过我的脚。”爸爸们。
She rechecks the car.
她重新检查了车。
I even-- I did the whole deep cleaning thing where you take out all the carpets.
我什至——我做了整个深度清洁工作，把所有的地毯都拿出来。
Yeah, totally.
是的，完全可以。
David Kestenbaum Ruby is a science type, works in a lab.
David Kestenbaum Ruby 是一名科学型人士，在实验室工作。
So she comes up with a working hypothesis.
所以她提出了一个可行的假设。
She figures she had dropped the shoe getting into the car, and the street sweeper had come by and swept it up, which would explain why it was nowhere.
她估计她把鞋子掉进车里了，街道清扫工过来把它扫了，这就解释了为什么它不见了。
Case closed.
案件结案。
She kept the one lonely sneaker, just because hope.
她保留着那双孤独的运动鞋，只是因为希望。
It's a new month.
这是新的一个月了。
I have a new basic pair of shoes that I wear every day.
我有一双每天穿的新基本鞋。
It's a pair of black Doc Martens.
这是一双黑色 Doc Martens 鞋。
And I knew that I had those shoes in the car.
我知道我把那双鞋放在车里。
I was getting ready for work.
我正准备上班。
I got out to the car, and I could only find one shoe.
我下了车，只找到一只鞋子。
I was just completely shocked and confused because how could this have happened not once, but twice?
我完全震惊和困惑，因为这种事怎么可能发生不是一次，而是两次？
I don't know anyone who has ever lost one shoe.
我不知道有谁丢过一只鞋子。
And now it's happened to me twice.
现在这种事已经发生在我身上两次了。
This just is not possible.
这是不可能的。
And I looked around, I mean, pretty thoroughly, checked everywhere I could think that a shoe would fit.
我环顾四周，我的意思是，非常彻底地检查了我认为鞋子适合的所有地方。
And there was only one shoe in the car.
而且车里只有一只鞋子。
And I was-- I mean, I would say panicked is too strong, but I was worked up about it.
我是——我的意思是，我想说恐慌太强烈了，但我对此很生气。
This is not a thing that happens in real life.
这不是现实生活中发生的事情。
Where is my shoe?
我的鞋在哪里？
I was into Ruby's story.
我很喜欢鲁比的故事。
I find losing things to be completely maddening.
我发现失去东西是完全令人抓狂的。
Objects cannot just disappear.
物体不可能就这样消失。
Here's what I want.
这就是我想要的。
I want, when you die, for them-- and I don't know who I mean by them-- to tell you where everything you lost over the course of your life actually was when you were looking for it.
当你死后，我想为他们——我不知道我所说的他们是谁——告诉你，当你寻找它时，你一生中失去的一切实际上在哪里。
Anyway, Ruby, who is wired similarly, decides she is not going to work until she finds this shoe.
不管怎样，鲁比也有类似的想法，她决定在找到这双鞋之前她不会去工作。
Her hunt begins with deduction.
她的追寻从演绎开始。
She feels sure it was in the car yesterday, which meant it must have fallen out of the car, which feels kind of unlikely now that I say it.
她确信它昨天在车里，这意味着它一定是从车上掉下来的，现在我这么说，感觉不太可能。
Did the shoe hurl itself out somehow?
鞋子是不是自己掉出来了？
Anyway, she makes a list of every place she had gone the day before.
不管怎样，她把前一天去过的每个地方都列了一张清单。
She'd gone to a city office to file a form.
她去市政府办公室提交了一份表格。
She'd gone to a Trader Joe's.
她去了乔氏超市。
And she'd gone to work.
她去上班了。
So she checks all these places.
所以她检查了所有这些地方。
The parking lot at the city office-- no shoe.
市政府停车场——禁止穿鞋。
The Trader Joe's-- actually goes into the Trader Joe's and asks the manager, did any workers find a single shoe in the parking lot?
Trader Joe's——实际上走进Trader Joe's并问经理，有没有工人在停车场找到一只鞋子？
No. She texted the facilities guy at work, who texts her back a laughing face emoji and no, no shoe.
不。她给工作中的设施人员发了短信，后者给她回了一个笑脸表情符号，不，没有鞋子。
She also goes to look at her boyfriend's house, where things took a turn.
她还去看了男友的家，那里的情况出现了转机。
And I went and I looked all around the house, didn't find the shoe.
我走遍了整个房子，没有找到那只鞋子。
But I did find his dad, who had showed up.
但我确实找到了他的父亲，他出现了。
And his dad was like, have you considered that someone's messing with you?
他爸爸说，你有没有想过有人在惹你？
And I was like, no, I had not considered that.
我当时想，不，我没有考虑过这一点。
But you're right, I should.
但你是对的，我应该这么做。
He'd just mentioned it in passing, but suddenly, things made a lot more sense.
他只是顺便提了一下，但突然间，事情变得更有意义了。
The question was, who was it?
问题是，是谁？
It had to be someone who knew about the first shoe and how crazy that had made her, who had then taken the second shoe as a kind of prank.
一定是有人知道第一只鞋的存在，也知道这让她有多疯狂，然后她把第二只鞋当作一种恶作剧。
There was a short list of suspects, maybe a friend at work.
嫌疑人名单很短，可能是工作中的朋友。
There are cameras in the parking lot.
停车场有摄像头。
She could ask the facilities guy to go through them.
她可以请设施人员检查一下。
Or maybe, actually, her boyfriend-- it would have been easy for him to grab her car keys.
或者，实际上，也许是她的男朋友——他很容易就能抢到她的车钥匙。
I texted him saying, be straight with me.
我给他发短信说，跟我说实话。
Are you messing with me?
你在逗我吗？
Do you think someone else is somehow messing with me?
你认为其他人在某种程度上惹恼我吗？
Is there a way to tell if someone broke into my car?
有没有办法判断是否有人闯入我的车？
He's a car guy, so.
他是个汽车人，所以。
"I am not the one hiding your shoes, if that's what you're asking.
“如果你问的话，我不是那个藏你鞋子的人。
I don't like pranks, and I wouldn't do that.
我不喜欢恶作剧，我也不会这么做。
If someone's doing that, it's not funny to me."
如果有人这样做，我觉得一点都不好笑。”
It wasn't funny to her either, but anything was starting to seem possible at this point.
这对她来说也不好笑，但此时一切似乎都开始变得可能了。
I was starting to feel a little bit genuinely concerned.
我开始感到有点真正的担心。
It didn't really process at first, but then once I was thinking about it, I realized that would mean somebody is getting into my car, and that makes me pretty uncomfortable.
一开始并没有真正处理过，但是当我思考这个问题时，我意识到这意味着有人正在进入我的车，这让我非常不舒服。
And I'm starting to feel kind of afraid.
我开始感到有点害怕。
Ruby wonders, should I call the police?
鲁比想知道，我应该报警吗？
She drives home from her boyfriend's house, sits on the front steps, when a thought occurs to her.
她从男朋友家开车回家，坐在门前的台阶上，这时她突然想到了一个想法。
And that thought is, wait, yesterday, didn't I come home for 10 minutes?
这个想法是，等等，昨天，我不是回家了 10 分钟吗？
I did.
我做到了。
And didn't I park over there?
我不是把车停在那里吗？
She gets up, walks over to that spot.
她起身，朝那个地方走去。
I looked in the street.
我在街上看了看。
I looked in the gutter.
我在阴沟里看了看。
It wasn't there.
它不在那里。
And I was like, ugh, OK, fine.
我当时想，呃，好吧，好吧。
But then, I looked up.
但随后，我抬起头来。
And there, in the tree, was her shoe.
树上有她的鞋子。
I'm kidding.
我在开玩笑。
It was a few feet away, on a curb next to someone's yard.
它就在几英尺外，在某人院子旁边的路边。
It looked like someone had helpfully picked it up and set it off to the side.
看起来有人帮忙把它捡起来并放在一边。
And I was so relieved.
我松了口气。
I was relieved beyond words to see the shoe sitting there.
看到鞋子放在那里，我感到无比的欣慰。
I took a picture of it.
我拍了一张照片。
So many things were put right in that moment.
在那一刻，很多事情都被解决了。
It was confirmation that objects do not suddenly stop existing and disappear.
这证实了物体不会突然停止存在并消失。
And also, the world was suddenly repopulated in her mind with people who were generally kind and helpful.
而且，她脑海中的世界突然重新充满了善良和乐于助人的人。
It was really nice to swing from thinking that a stranger is trying to break me psychologically to, oh, a stranger picked this up for me.
从认为一个陌生人试图从心理上摧毁我到“哦，一个陌生人为我捡到了这个”，这真是太好了。
It was still a little crazy-making that the first missing single shoe was unaccounted for.
第一个失踪的单鞋下落不明，还是有点让人抓狂。
But then a few days later, she was walking her parents' dog, and it jogged her memory.
但几天后，她在遛父母的狗时，这唤起了她的记忆。
She'd parked in that very spot she was walking the day she had lost the shoe.
丢鞋那天，她就把车停在她正在走路的那个地方。
It was after the run, but before she went home.
那是在跑步之后，但在她回家之前。
She'd just forgotten.
她只是忘记了。
And there it was, beside the road, the gray and white Adidas.
就在那里，路边，灰白色的阿迪达斯。
She was back in the world she had started in.
她又回到了她开始的世界。
It's interesting how quickly you went to seriously considering the least likely things, you know?
有趣的是，你有多快就开始认真考虑最不可能发生的事情，你知道吗？
Yeah.
是的。
I immediately started thinking about all the crazy-- all the things that people believe and I think are crazy.
我立即开始思考所有疯狂的事情——所有人们相信的、我认为都是疯狂的事情。
I'm like, pfft, that could never happen to me.
我想，噗，这永远不会发生在我身上。
I'm way too smart and logical.
我太聪明了，也太逻辑化了。
Actually, it was logic, a kind of logic that led you there, right?
事实上，这是逻辑，一种引导你到那里的逻辑，对吧？
Yeah.
是的。
Maybe I would have thought that I was somehow superior or just-- I don't know.
也许我会认为我在某种程度上比较优越，或者只是——我不知道。
Turns out, I'm not.
事实证明，我不是。
If you are listening to this and feeling a little disappointed, like you were promised a plot twist, something exciting and more dramatic than a story about a woman who had just lost two shoes in a row, because that is what you come to this show for, fair enough.
如果你在听这个并感到有点失望，就像你被承诺了一个情节转折，一些比一个关于一个刚刚连续丢了两只鞋子的女人的故事更令人兴奋和更具戏剧性的东西，因为这就是你来这个节目的目的，这很公平。
But I am just holding up a mirror to the real world, where sometimes a lost shoe is just a lost shoe.
但我只是举起现实世界的一面镜子，有时，丢失的鞋子只是丢失的鞋子。
David Kestenbaum is a senior editor at our show.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆 (David Kestenbaum) 是我们节目的高级编辑。
Today's show was produced by me and Tobin Low and edited by Laura Starecheski.
今天的节目由我和 Tobin Low 制作，Laura Starecheski 编辑。
The people who put together our show today include Phia Bennin, Jendayi Bonds, Mike Comite, Emmanuel Dzotsi, Angela Gervasi, Miki Meek, Katherine Rae Mando, Stowe Nelson, Nadia Reiman, Lilly Sullivan, Frances Swanson, Christopher Swetala, Nancy Updike, Julie Whitaker, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Phia Bennin、Jendayi Bonds、Mike Comite、Emmanuel Dzotsi、Angela Gervasi、Miki Meek、Katherine Rae Mando、Stowe Nelson、Nadia Reiman、Lilly Sullivan、Frances Swanson、Christopher Swetala、Nancy Updike、Julie Whitaker 和 Diane Wu。
Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑是萨拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sarah Abdurrahman)。
Our senior editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的高级编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks to Brittany Luse, Kathy Tu, Elly Fishman, Jon Herbert, Alyssa Lowery, Michael Burgin, Sheila Maloney, Ora DeKornfeld, Nathan Englander, Katie Rhodes, Chris Thompson, and John Skidmore.
特别感谢 Brittany Luse、Kathy Tu、Elly Fishman、Jon Herbert、Alyssa Lowery、Michael Burgin、Sheila Maloney、Ora DeKornfeld、Nathan Englander、Katie Rhodes、Chris Thompson 和 John Skidmore。
Our website is thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站是 thisamericanlife.org。
I know this is the spot where Ira mentions This American Life Partners and all the perks you can get, like bonus episodes.
我知道艾拉在这里提到了《美国生活伙伴》以及你可以获得的所有福利，比如奖励剧集。
I did one a couple of months ago in which Ira called me, quote, "mean and eye-rolly." So if you want to hear that, head on over.
几个月前，我做了一件事，艾拉在其中骂我“卑鄙且爱翻白眼”。所以如果你想听的话，就过来吧。
But really, all the bonus episodes are so good and funny and super different from the stuff you normally hear on our show.
但实际上，所有的奖励剧集都非常精彩、有趣，与您通常在我们的节目中听到的内容非常不同。
Ira cries in one, which is kind of cool.
艾拉在其中哭泣，这有点酷。
So to hear those episodes, and more importantly, to help us keep making the show, subscribe at thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners.
因此，要收听这些剧集，更重要的是，为了帮助我们继续制作节目，请在 thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners 上订阅。
That link is also in the show notes.
该链接也在节目注释中。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to my boss, big dog Ira Glass.
一如既往地感谢我的老板，大狗艾拉·格拉斯。
He's back on the dating scene and has this new approach where he's trying to be radically honest about what he needs from a partner.
他重返约会舞台，并采用了这种新方法，他试图对自己需要从伴侣那里得到的东西非常诚实。
And so if the first date goes well, he sits the person down before the end of the night and lets them know--
因此，如果第一次约会进展顺利，他会在晚上结束前让对方坐下来并让他们知道——
This is going to be just the start of a rich, wonderful, one-sided relationship.
这将只是一段丰富、美好、单方面关系的开始。
I'm Aviva DeKornfeld.
我是阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德。
Ira will be back next week with more stories of This American Life.
艾拉将于下周带着更多《美国生活》的故事回来。
This American Life This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
This American Life This American Life 与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。