809: The Call - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #809 | December 6, 2024 809: The Call Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 809 集 | 2024 年 12 月 6 日 809：电话 注意：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass OK, so you call a hotline, and then a complete stranger tries to figure out how to help you, on the spot.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 好的，所以你拨打了热线电话，然后一个完全陌生的人试图在现场找出如何帮助你的方法。
That idea seems to have begun in the 1950s.
这个想法似乎始于 20 世纪 50 年代。
The first suicide hotline in the United States was created in the early '60s by a guy in San Francisco, who was a priest and also a journalist.
美国第一条自杀热线是 60 年代初由旧金山的一位牧师和记者创建的。
And it was just him answering the phone at first.
而且一开始也是他接电话。
Ads on matchbooks and sides of buses said, "Thinking of ending it all?
火柴盒和公交车两侧的广告上写着：“想结束这一切吗？
Call Bruce," which, by the way, was not his real name.
打电话给布鲁斯”，顺便说一句，这不是他的真名。
His real name was Bernard Mayes.
他的真名是伯纳德·梅斯。
But of course, the power of anonymity is so important to any hotline.
当然，匿名的力量对于任何热线来说都非常重要。
People would call.
人们会打电话来。
And sometimes he could help them precisely because he had no connection to their life at all.
有时他能帮助他们正是因为他与他们的生活根本没有联系。
Like, they could say anything to him.
就像，他们可以对他说任何话。
In those pre-internet days, that was completely new, to harness that kind of anonymity, the intimacy of it, this way, over the phone.
在互联网出现之前的那些日子里，通过电话利用这种匿名性和亲密性，这是全新的。
These days, of course, there are all kinds of hotlines for people in all sorts of situations-- prayer hotlines, psychic hotlines, also hotlines for homework help, for new moms.
当然，如今，针对各种情况的人们都有各种各样的热线——祈祷热线、通灵热线、家庭作业帮助热线、新妈妈热线。
There's a hotline for owners of three-legged dogs, and another one specifically for anybody who swallows one of those-- you know those little, round button batteries?
有一条针对三足狗主人的热线，还有一条专门针对吞下其中一只狗的人的热线——你知道那些圆形的小纽扣电池吗？
That one also handles any kid who pushes it up their nose.
那个也能处理任何把它推到鼻子里的孩子。
Today we're going to devote our entire show to one phone call that happened on one hotline, a very unusual hotline.
今天，我们将把整个节目集中在一条热线电话上发生的一个电话上，这是一条非常不寻常的热线电话。
And then we have everything that followed from that one call.
然后我们就得到了这个电话之后的一切。
It takes you inside this world that I think either you're already in this world, or it's totally invisible to you.
它带你进入这个世界，我认为要么你已经在这个世界里，要么它对你来说是完全看不见的。
Like it's all around you.
就像它就在你周围一样。
You don't even register that this world is there.
你甚至没有意识到这个世界的存在。
Mary Harris tells what happened.
玛丽·哈里斯讲述了发生的事情。
She's the host of Slate's daily news podcast, What Next.
她是 Slate 每日新闻播客 What Next 的主持人。
One quick note, some parts of this phone call might not be great for young children to hear.
需要注意的是，这个电话的某些部分可能不太适合小孩子听。
I suppose I could have given you this warning before mentioning that part about pushing batteries up your nose.
我想我可以在提到有关将电池推入鼻子的部分之前向您发出此警告。
But anyway, here's Mary with Act 1, "The Call."
但无论如何，这是玛丽的第一幕“召唤”。
The call on this story took place a few years ago.
关于这个故事的呼吁发生在几年前。
Mary Harris It's a call to a hotline of sorts, though one I'd never heard about before and was surprised to learn existed.
玛丽·哈里斯（Mary Harris）：这是一个热线电话，虽然我以前从未听说过，并且很惊讶地得知它的存在。
This is the music you hear when you're waiting for an operator.
这是您在等待接线员时听到的音乐。
(RAPPING) I tried to break free.
（说唱）我试图挣脱。
You tried to keep me bound.
你试图束缚我。
I tried to live right.
我尝试过正确的生活。
You tried to keep me down.
你试图让我失望。
But now I'm going--
但现在我要去——
Hi.
嗨。
My name is Kimber.
我的名字是金伯。
Jessie How are you?
杰西你好吗？
Good, how are you?
很好，你好吗？
Jessie I'm good.
杰西我很好。
Let me catch your name one more time.
让我再听一遍你的名字。
Kimber.
金伯。
Jessie That's what I thought, OK.
杰西 我就是这么想的，好吧。
The woman taking this call, her name's Jessie.
接电话的女人叫杰西。
She's a nurse, and she's taken thousands of these.
她是一名护士，她已经接受了数千次这样的检查。
All right, let me get my book, Kimber.
好吧，让我去拿我的书，金伯。
I've never talked to you before.
我以前从未和你说过话。
I'm glad you called.
我很高兴你打电话来。
Have you called us before?
您之前给我们打过电话吗？
I just got out of rehab yesterday, and I don't want to use by myself.
我昨天刚从康复中心出来，我不想自己使用。
OK, all right.
好吧，好吧。
So what are you going to use, Kimber, and how are you going to use it?
那么你要使用什么，Kimber，你打算如何使用它？
Probably fentanyl.
应该是芬太尼吧
Jessie Probably fentanyl, OK.
杰西 可能是芬太尼，好吧。
The hotline is called "Never Use Alone." And the idea is, if you're going to inject heroin or do a speedball, something like that, and there's no one around, you can dial them up.
该热线被称为“切勿单独使用”。这个想法是，如果你要注射海洛因或做快速球之类的事情，而周围没有人，你可以拨打电话。
Someone will stay on the line, make sure you're OK.
有人会一直在线，请确保您没事。
If it seems like you've overdosed, they'll call the paramedics.
如果您看起来服药过量，他们会打电话给护理人员。
All right, let me get some information, OK, baby?
好吧，让我获取一些信息，好吗，宝贝？
All right, give me your callback number in case we get disconnected.
好吧，请给我你的回拨号码，以防我们断线。
Jessie gets the caller's phone number and address, just in case she has to call the ambulance.
杰西得到了来电者的电话号码和地址，以防万一她需要叫救护车。
The caller, Kimber, is in Massachusetts.
来电者金伯 (Kimber) 在马萨诸塞州。
Jessie is down in Georgia.
杰西在佐治亚州。
You got your door unlocked?
你的门没锁吗？
Kimber Let me check.
金伯 让我检查一下。
Hold on.
坚持，稍等。
Yeah, it's unlocked now.
是的，现在已经解锁了。
Yep.
是的。
Jessie All right, you're by yourself in your home, in your apartment?
杰西：好吧，你一个人在家里，在公寓里吗？
I do.
我愿意。
Jessie Set it out for me.
杰西 帮我准备一下。
And if you've got anything else extra that you don't need to do your job-- if you just picked up, if you got some extra rigs, put away anything you don't need, OK?
如果你还有其他不需要的东西来完成你的工作——如果你刚刚拿起，如果你有一些额外的装备，把你不需要的东西收起来，好吗？
OK.
好的。
Jessie Because God forbid I have to call the ambulance-- they'll take your shit when they leave, and I don't want them to do that.
杰西 因为上帝不允许我叫救护车——他们离开时会带走你的屎，我不想让他们这样做。
OK.
好的。
Hold on.
坚持，稍等。
Let me put everything away then in the bathroom.
让我把所有东西都放到浴室里吧。
There's like a bunch of stuff out.
好像有一堆东西出来了。
Yeah, just close the door, you know, or whatever.
是的，关上门，你知道，或者别的什么。
Just don't leave it right where you're at.
只是不要把它留在你所在的地方。
How long have you been abstinent?
你已经禁欲多久了？
About a month.
大约一个月。
Jessie OK.
杰西 好的。
So you know your tolerance is in the dirt, right, baby?
所以你知道你的忍耐力是卑鄙的，对吧，宝贝？
Yeah.
是的。
Jessie OK.
杰西 好的。
All right, so listen, so I'll stay on the phone with you.
好吧，听着，我会和你保持电话联系。
If you want to just-- I mean, if you want to do points at a time or half a point at a time, we'll take it as slow as you want.
如果你想——我的意思是，如果你想一次做几个点或一次做半个点，我们会按照你想要的慢速进行。
If you would feel better video chatting me, we can do a Jitsi or something, OK?
如果你和我视频聊天感觉更好的话，我们可以做个 Jitsi 之类的，好吗？
So you can hear like in the beginning, I'm upbeat.
所以你可以从一开始就听到，我很乐观。
I'm happy to talk to her.
我很高兴和她说话。
Yeah, what is that?
是啊，那是什么？
Jessie She was speaking with some speed, with some urgency.
杰西 她说话的速度有些快，有些紧迫。
I just-- I knew she wasn't going to be careful.
我只是——我知道她不会小心。
My mama spirit kicked in immediately.
我的妈妈精神立刻就来了。
It's a sixth sense that you develop when you do these calls.
这是你在拨打这些电话时形成的第六感。
She's not connecting with you.
她没有和你联系。
She's like, just, I'm here to get this done.
她说，我来这里就是为了完成这件事。
She was there to do a job.
她去那里是为了做一份工作。
So all I ask you to do is you let me know as soon as you push your first dose.
因此，我要求您做的就是在注射第一剂药物后立即通知我。
You let me know that you're done.
你让我知道你已经完成了。
OK.
好的。
Well, I have to hold my breath for a second because I have to do it in my neck.
好吧，我必须屏住呼吸一秒钟，因为我必须在脖子上做。
So I'm not going to be speaking for a second, but I'll let you know.
所以我不会说话，但我会让你知道。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
She's doing it-- you can inject in your external jugular vein.
她正在这样做——你可以注射到你的颈外静脉中。
But to do that, you have to hold your breath.
但要做到这一点，你必须屏住呼吸。
Is that-- like, you do that when your other veins are blown out?
当你的其他血管被吹断时，你会这样做吗？
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Mary Harris You're using terminology I don't understand, like half a point, a point.
玛丽·哈里斯：你使用了我不明白的术语，比如半点、一点。
What does that mean?
这意味着什么？
When they hopefully weigh their dope-- hopefully when you weigh your dope out, they're using a scale.
当他们希望称量他们的毒品时——希望当你称出你的毒品时，他们正在使用秤。
And they measure it out in grams.
他们以克为单位进行测量。
0.1 is a tenth of a gram, 0.2.
0.1是十分之一克，0.2。
I mean, that's drug user lingo for, we'll nickel and dime it right on in there.
我的意思是，这是吸毒者的行话，我们就在那里花钱。
Small doses are one way to try to stay safe when you're using a drug like heroin or fentanyl.
当您使用海洛因或芬太尼等药物时，小剂量是保持安全的一种方法。
But the truth is, you really have no idea what you're getting if you're buying drugs off the street.
但事实是，如果你在街上购买毒品，你真的不知道自己会得到什么。
I said, I just need a second because I got to find a vein.
我说，我只需要一秒钟，因为我必须找到静脉。
I just have really bad eyes, so it's like really hard to do.
我只是眼睛不好，所以很难做到。
Oh, god.
哦，上帝。
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Kimber But like all the veins on my arms are like shot.
金伯 但我手臂上的所有血管都像被射中了一样。
All right, I'm pushing, and I'm letting the tourniquet go.
好吧，我用力，然后松开止血带。
OK, baby.
好的，宝贝。
Kimber OK, I think I'm OK.
金伯 好吧，我想我还好。
I'm good.
我很好。
All right, well, we're gonna stay on the phone for about five minutes, OK?
好吧，我们要讲五分钟左右的电话，好吗？
OK.
好的。
Jessie And then if you want to do more, then you can do a little bit more, OK?
Jessie 如果你想做更多，那么你可以多做一点，好吗？
Sometimes a person will call in wanting to talk.
有时有人会打电话过来想要谈谈。
With the regulars, Jessie knows the names of their pets, keeps track of their birthdays.
对于常客来说，杰西知道他们宠物的名字，记录他们的生日。
But her main job is just to stay on the line and check in every now and then.
但她的主要工作只是保持通话并时不时地查看一下。
For this call, she was sitting at her kitchen table.
这次通话时，她坐在厨房的桌子旁。
Her husband walks in at some point for help with a Ziploc bag.
她的丈夫有时拿着一个密封袋进来寻求帮助。
But every minute or so, she's trying to get a read on Kimber.
但每隔一分钟左右，她就试图了解金伯的情况。
OK.
好的。
Mary Harris About 60 seconds later, Jessie checks in again?
玛丽·哈里斯 (Mary Harris) 大约 60 秒后，杰西 (Jessie) 又来了？
You OK, honey?
你还好吗，亲爱的？
Kimber?
金伯？
Kimber?
金伯？
Kimber?
金伯？
Kimber, I'm going to call your name about one more time, then I'm calling an ambulance.
金伯，我要再叫一次你的名字，然后我就叫一辆救护车。
Kimber.
金伯。
Kimber?
金伯？
You better answer me.
你最好回答我。
Kimber.
金伯。
I'm hoping that she just walked away from the phone.
我希望她刚刚离开电话。
I try to give them 30 seconds, 30 of the longest seconds of your life.
我试着给他们30秒，人生中最长的30秒。
I try to give them 30 seconds to, oh, shit, I'm sorry.
我试着给他们 30 秒的时间，哦，糟糕，我很抱歉。
I walked away from the phone.
我离开电话。
Or my earbuds disconnected, or I hit the mute by accident.
或者我的耳塞断开了，或者我不小心按下了静音键。
That's what I try to do-- 30 seconds.
这就是我尝试做的——30秒。
North Adams Public Safety.
北亚当斯公共安全。
This line is recorded.
这条线被记录下来。
1251 from North 911, transferring a operator from the Overdose Prevention Crisis Line, requesting ambulance in North Adams, Massachusetts.
从北 911 拨打 1251，从过量预防危机热线转接接线员，请求马萨诸塞州北亚当斯市的救护车。
I have the address of [BEEPED], Apartment 1, upstairs.
我有楼上 1 号公寓 [BEEPED] 的地址。
The caller became unresponsive while on the line with me.
与我通话时，呼叫者变得毫无反应。
OK, do you have any reason to believe they may have taken any narcotics?
好吧，你有什么理由相信他们可能服用了任何麻醉品吗？
We're an overdose crisis line, so it's possible.
我们是药物过量危机热线，所以这是有可能的。
OK, ma'am, can you give me any specifics in terms of the age of the potential patient?
好的，女士，您能给我有关潜在患者年龄的具体信息吗？
It's a female.
是一位女性。
Her first name is Kimber, K-I-M-B-E-R.
她的名字叫金伯 (Kimber)，K-I-M-B-E-R。
We're going to get help en route, ma'am.
女士，我们会在途中寻求帮助。
If you happen to get them back on the line or gain anything further, please call us right back, OK?
如果您碰巧让他们重新上线或获得任何进一步的信息，请立即给我们回电，好吗？
OK, yeah, I've got the call merged in.
好的，是的，我已经合并了通话。
Yeah.
是的。
OK, can you hear anything in the background, ma'am?
好的，女士，您能听到背景声吗？
No, no. Operator 1 I'm not picking anything up on my end.
不，不。接线员 1 我这边没有捡到任何东西。
No, let me call her name again.
不，让我再叫一次她的名字。
Kimber?
金伯？
Baby, answer me.
宝贝，回答我。
Kimber?
金伯？
No.
不。
OK, I'm going to get multiple agencies en route to assist, OK?
好的，我会在途中让多个机构提供协助，好吗？
Kimber, baby, I got you some help coming.
金伯，宝贝，我给你带来了一些帮助。
Jessie stays on the line.
杰西一直在线。
And then after a little while, you can faintly hear in the background, over the phone, someone shouting, "Anybody home"?
过了一会儿，你可以隐约听到电话里的背景声有人喊道：“有人在家吗？”
Anybody home?
有人在家吗？
Mary Harris The ambulance got there just 3 and 1/2 minutes after Jessie disconnected from 911.
玛丽·哈里斯 (Mary Harris) 在杰西 (Jessie) 与 911 断开连接后仅 3 又 1/2 分钟，救护车就到达了那里。
You awake?
你醒了吗？
Mary Harris Jessie hears him say, "You awake"?
玛丽·哈里斯·杰西听到他说：“你醒了”？
Then, "move that suitcase."
然后，“把那个手提箱搬走。”
Move that suitcase.
移动那个手提箱。
Mary Harris And then she hangs up.
玛丽·哈里斯 然后她挂断了电话。
It's easy to read the statistics and still not be able to imagine what the overdose crisis looks like in this country.
很容易阅读统计数据，但仍然无法想象这个国家的药物过量危机是什么样子。
More than 100,000 people die from an overdose each year.
每年有超过 100,000 人死于服药过量。
That means that Americans are now more likely to die from an overdose than from a car accident.
这意味着美国人现在死于服药过量的可能性比死于车祸的可能性更大。
This hotline's purpose is simple and very single-minded.
这个热线的目的很简单，也很专一。
It's not to get people sober or push them into treatment.
这并不是为了让人们清醒或迫使他们接受治疗。
It's just to keep people alive, one injection or snort after another.
只是为了让人活下去，一针一针或者一吸一吸。
I wanted to know what it was like for everyone, the callers and the people like Jessie, who sit there while someone uses, knowing they could die right there on the phone.
我想知道每个人的感受，包括打电话的人和像杰西这样的人，当有人使用时，他们坐在那儿，知道自己可能会死在电话里。
Jessie talks to people week after week, and sometimes they just stop calling.
杰西一周又一周地和人们交谈，有时他们就不再打电话了。
Maybe it's because they're not using anymore.
也许是因为他们不再使用了。
Maybe it's because they're gone.
也许是因为他们走了。
Actual overdoses on the hotline don't happen that often.
热线电话中实际服药过量的情况并不经常发生。
And Jessie had no way to know what went on after she hung up that day with Kimber.
杰西无法知道那天她挂断了金伯的电话后发生了什么。
She kept answering calls on the line, tried to distract herself.
她不停地接听电话，试图分散自己的注意力。
She says she probably walked around her yard, poured herself a Sprite.
她说她可能在院子里走了一圈，给自己倒了一杯雪碧。
Then she got a text from a pretty close friend of hers, a guy named Stephen.
然后她收到了她的一位非常亲密的朋友发来的短信，这个朋友名叫斯蒂芬。
He's a paramedic, so he sees a lot of overdoses.
他是一名护理人员，所以他看到了很多服药过量的情况。
She has him in her phone as "Bruh."
她在手机里称他为“Bruh”。
He said, what up, homie?
他说，怎么了，伙计？
I said, I was just living the dream, taking some calls, some NUA calls.
我说，我只是在实现梦想，接听一些电话，一些 NUA 的电话。
What you doing?
你在做什么？
He said, oh, you know I'm at work today, right?
他说，哦，你知道我今天上班，对吧？
And I'm like, oh, I forgot today's Saturday.
我想，哦，我忘了今天是星期六。
Texting back and forth, and I was like, oh, yeah, I had a Never Use Alone call.
来回发短信，我就想，哦，是的，我接到了“永远不要单独使用”的电话。
I had an overdose call in Massachusetts today.
今天我在马萨诸塞州接到服药过量的电话。
Immediately, her phone rings.
随即，她的手机就响了。
It's him.
是他。
Like, instead of texting, he wants to talk.
就像，他不想发短信，而是想说话。
She answers.
她回答。
He said, where?
他说，哪里？
I said, hold on.
我说，坚持一下。
I don't remember.
我不记得了。
He said, bitch, where?
他说，贱人，哪里？
I said, bitch, I said hold on.
我说，婊子，我说坚持住。
I got to go get the book.
我得去拿书了。
Damn.
该死。
I open the book.
我打开书。
North Adams, Massachusetts.
马萨诸塞州北亚当斯。
The sob that left this man's chest, I'll never forget.
这个男人胸中发出的抽泣声，我永远不会忘记。
He said that was me.
他说那就是我。
Act 2, Stephen.
第二幕，斯蒂芬.
Stephen Murray, the paramedic who responded to that overdose call Jessie took, he had a lot of jobs before working in an ambulance, each with a very different uniform.
史蒂芬·默里（Stephen Murray）是接听杰西服药过量电话的护理人员，在救护车工作之前，他做过很多工作，每份工作的制服都大不相同。
The first was a black t-shirt.
第一件是黑色T恤。
He was in a metal band.
他是金属乐队的成员。
Then a suit and tie.
然后是西装和领带。
When he was in college, he ran for a seat on the village council and won.
上大学时，他竞选村委会席位并获胜。
Being a paramedic meant wearing a button-up with S.
作为一名护理人员意味着要和 S 一起穿纽扣上衣。
Murray on one pocket and a badge above the other.
一个口袋上有穆雷的名字，另一个口袋上有一枚徽章。
He carried his dispatch radio pretty much everywhere, which is how he got the call that day.
他几乎到处都带着调度电台，这就是他那天接到电话的原因。
So it came in as an unresponsive possible overdose.
因此，它可能是药物过量而无反应的结果。
That's all we really got.
这就是我们真正得到的。
And when I heard the address, I was like, oh, that's really close by.
当我听到这个地址时，我就想，哦，那真的很近。
It was right up the hill from the ambulance station, basically on the same street.
就在救护站的山上，基本上在同一条街上。
We're only like 0.4, 0.5 miles away.
我们之间的距离只有 0.4、0.5 英里。
So I like jump in.
所以我喜欢跳进去。
How many people?
有多少人？
Stephen Murray It was one engine company, three police cruisers, and two ambulances.
斯蒂芬·默里：这是一家发动机公司、三辆警用巡洋舰和两辆救护车。
We get there, and I'm looking at the building, and there's multiple units within this big house.
我们到达那里，我正在看那栋大楼，这座大房子里有多个单元。
He bangs on the door, doesn't hear anything.
他敲门，没有听到任何声音。
Then he sees a little stairway, runs up, finds another door, which is unlocked.
然后他看到一个小楼梯，跑上去，找到另一扇门，门没有锁。
He lets himself in.
他让自己进来了。
I'm like, hello?
我说，你好？
Anybody here?
这里有人吗？
Like, EMS.
比如EMS。
With the cops there behind me, they're yelling out, and I'm looking around.
警察就在我身后，他们大喊大叫，我环顾四周。
And I get down this hallway.
我沿着走廊走下去。
And I find a girl laying on the ground, or a woman laying on the ground.
我发现一个女孩躺在地上，或者一个女人躺在地上。
But she's very small, and she looked really young.
不过她个子很小，看上去也很年轻。
And she was blue.
她是蓝色的。
And so I was like, crap.
所以我就想，废话。
Why?
为什么？
Hold it.
握住它。
Why?
为什么？
Stephen Murray Well, because nobody's there, and she's blue.
史蒂芬·默里：嗯，因为没人在那里，而且她是蓝色的。
When someone's blue, I know they're not breathing.
当某人脸色发青时，我知道他们没有呼吸。
Yeah, that's where my mind went immediately was that, here's somebody who's alone.
是的，我立刻想到的是，这是一个孤独的人。
She's blue on the ground.
她躺在地上是蓝色的。
And I find her pulse, and it's quite slow.
我找到了她的脉搏，而且很慢。
So it's like in the 40s.
所以就像是在 40 年代。
So I turned to the cop and said, she's got a pulse.
于是我转向警察说，她有脉搏了。
The bathroom is quite small, though, and I am big.
不过浴室很小，而我很大。
And it's really hard to work on somebody when you can't kneel down next to them.
当你不能跪在某人旁边时，为他们工作真的很困难。
And so I put my arms under hers and I drag her into the living room, down the hallway to the living room.
于是我把胳膊放在她的胳膊下，把她拖进客厅，沿着走廊来到客厅。
And at that point, the rest of my crew had brought all of our equipment upstairs.
那时，我的其他工作人员已将所有设备搬上楼。
So they were like-- they came up and put down our bag next to me.
所以他们就像——他们走过来把我们的包放在我旁边。
If they'd gotten there a few minutes later, it might have been too late.
如果他们晚几分钟到达那里，可能就太晚了。
But now they had a chance.
但现在他们有机会了。
Stephen's got a particular way he likes to handle overdoses, that he feels is easier on the people being revived.
斯蒂芬有一种他喜欢处理服药过量的特殊方式，他觉得这种方式对被救活的人来说更容易。
Because-- he's thought about this a lot-- if they do come to, it's going to be a very strange experience, some random guy leaning over you, face upside down.
因为——他对此想了很多次——如果他们真的醒过来，那将是一次非常奇怪的经历，某个随机的人脸朝下靠在你身上。
And if you just give someone a big dose of Narcan, it'll throw them into withdrawal.
如果你给某人服用大剂量的纳洛酮，就会使他们戒断。
People sometimes wake up angry.
人们有时会生气地醒来。
They'll have a massive headache because they might not have been getting oxygen to their brain.
他们会感到剧烈头痛，因为他们的大脑可能无法获得氧气。
That lack of oxygen, that's what will kill you in an overdose.
缺氧，过量服用就会杀死你。
So Stephen starts by fixing that.
所以斯蒂芬首先解决这个问题。
So I grabbed the bag valve mask out, hooked up to oxygen, and start to breathe for her.
于是我抓起气囊阀门面罩，接通氧气，开始为她呼吸。
And in the meantime, I directed one of my staff members to draw me up-- to pull out Narcan and put a needle on it, because I like to give it intramuscularly because I can control the dose better.
与此同时，我指示我的一名工作人员把我拉起来——拔出纳洛酮并在上面扎针，因为我喜欢肌肉注射，因为我可以更好地控制剂量。
He has the police stand in another room while he works.
当他工作时，他让警察站在另一个房间。
Well, because the thing is, I've seen people come out and vomit and feel unwell.
嗯，因为事实是，我见过有人出来呕吐并感觉不舒服。
And when I first started EMS, I remember the police would be standing over them, like what did you use, like yelling at them.
当我第一次开始 EMS 时，我记得警察会站在他们旁边，比如你用了什么，就像对他们大喊大叫。
I started to think about, like, what is that environment like when they wake up?
我开始思考，他们醒来时的环境是什么样的？
If there are too many people in the room, I will tell people to go wait outside.
如果房间里人太多，我会叫人到外面等。
So Stephen's kneeling over Kimber's head, squeezing oxygen into her lungs, one breath at a time.
于是史蒂芬跪在金伯的头上，将氧气挤入她的肺部，一次吸一口气。
Then he gives her the smallest dose of naloxone, just to see how she'll react.
然后他给了她最小剂量的纳洛酮，只是为了看看她会有什么反应。
Her color improves.
她的气色改善了。
Her oxygen saturation comes up.
她的血氧饱和度上升了。
And she then wakes up.
然后她醒了。
She looked upset.
她看起来很沮丧。
Mary Harris Upset, despite all his effort, but alive.
玛丽·哈里斯心烦意乱，尽管他竭尽全力，但还活着。
There's a conversation Stephen sometimes has with people he's revived.
斯蒂芬有时会与他复活的人进行对话。
He doesn't remember where it happened with Kimber, but often, it's in the back of the ambulance where the driver can't hear.
他不记得金伯是在哪里发生的，但通常是在救护车后部，司机听不到的地方。
The patient will say something like, you're so much nicer than the other EMTs.
病人会说，你比其他急救人员好得多。
And then Stephen will explain, I've been in your shoes.
然后斯蒂芬会解释说，我一直处于你的处境。
So Stephen, the person who revived Kimber from her overdose, he'd also survived an overdose.
所以斯蒂芬，那个让金伯从吸毒过量中复活的人，他也从吸毒过量中幸存下来。
Let me tell you what happened.
让我告诉你发生了什么事。
Stephen started using drugs sometime after he stopped touring with that metal band.
斯蒂芬停止与金属乐队巡演后的某个时间开始吸毒。
He'd been straight edge then, so no alcohol, no drugs.
那时他很正直，所以没有喝酒，没有吸毒。
But then he went to college, University of Miami, and academics had never been his thing.
但后来他上了大学，迈阿密大学，学术从来就不是他的事。
The people that I fell in with, my group of friends, we all met at the tables that were outside the dorms.
和我交往的人，我的一群朋友，我们都是在宿舍外的桌子上认识的。
And we would smoke cigarettes outside.
我们会在外面抽烟。
It was like this thing.
就像这样的事情。
And the guy that used to sell us our weed, he was great.
那个曾经卖给我们大麻的人，他很棒。
He was just like this really cool-- I can't even describe him.
他真的很酷——我什至无法形容他。
He was like-- he would show up with a fishing tackle box full of drugs.
他就像——他会带着装满毒品的渔具箱出现。
It was like a menu, right?
它就像一个菜单，对吧？
And he knew that I had been struggling a bit.
他知道我一直在挣扎。
A friend of the group named Kelly had died recently.
该组织的一位名叫凯利的朋友最近去世了。
She'd fallen off a balcony.
她从阳台上掉下来了。
It really kind of rocked Stephen's world.
这确实震撼了斯蒂芬的世界。
And so he was like, oh, if I remember right-- he was like, oh, you should try these.
所以他说，哦，如果我没记错的话——他说，哦，你应该试试这些。
It will make you feel better.
这会让你感觉更好。
And that was like oxycodone.
这就像羟考酮。
So drugs became part of Stephen's very busy life.
因此，毒品成了斯蒂芬忙碌生活的一部分。
He's going to school, working a campus job.
他要去上学，做一份校园工作。
He'd also won that seat on the local village council.
他还赢得了当地村委会的席位。
At the time, they were saying I was the youngest elected official that had ever happened in South Florida.
当时，他们说我是南佛罗里达州有史以来最年轻的民选官员。
I don't know if that's like verifiable, but that's what people were saying about me.
我不知道这是否可以验证，但这就是人们对我的评价。
And here I am, using drugs the whole time.
而我就在这里，一直在吸毒。
He used in his car before talking to TV news.
他在接受电视新闻采访之前在车里使用过。
Before bed, he would lay out lines of oxy for when he woke up at night in withdrawal.
睡觉前，他会在晚上醒来戒断时安排输氧管。
It was the only way he'd get back to sleep.
这是他重新入睡的唯一方法。
And he was getting way too skinny.
而且他变得太瘦了。
I used to wear baggier clothes when I would talk to my parents.
当我和父母说话时，我常常穿宽松的衣服。
This is the era when Skype was a thing.
这是 Skype 盛行的时代。
And I used to put under-eye concealer on my eyes.
我过去常常在眼睛上涂黑眼圈遮瑕膏。
I have naturally dark circles under my eyes.
我的眼睛下面有天然的黑眼圈。
But because I had lost so much weight, it was so sunken in.
但由于我体重减轻了很多，所以它变得如此凹陷。
They were very like pronounced.
它们的发音非常相似。
And so I would put under-eye concealer on before I would go on camera with my parents.
所以我会在和父母一起上镜头前涂上眼部遮瑕膏。
Wow.
哇。
Stephen Murray And actually, the camera would be faced backward, where I had all of my accolades on the wall, like certificate of election from the Board of Elections.
斯蒂芬·默里：事实上，摄像机是朝后的，我所有的荣誉都挂在墙上，比如选举委员会颁发的选举证书。
And I got a letter from a congressman congratulating me on being elected.
我收到了一位国会议员的来信，祝贺我当选。
And just those sorts of things were behind me.
这些事情都已经过去了。
But on the other side of the camera, my life was chaos.
但在镜头的另一边，我的生活却一片混乱。
So, yeah.
所以，是的。
Stephen thinks he probably OD'd twice somewhere in there, but luckily, he came to on his own.
斯蒂芬认为他可能在某个地方吸毒两次，但幸运的是，他自己醒过来了。
None of that stopped him.
这些都没有阻止他。
His family, at some point, had an intervention, which he said you could see a mile away.
他的家人在某个时候进行了干预，他说你可以在一英里之外看到。
Like, he walked into the room, and everyone was sitting there, and no one was saying anything.
就像，他走进房间，每个人都坐在那儿，没有人说话。
And he was like, oh, I know what this is.
他说，哦，我知道这是什么。
But he felt relieved to be found out.
但当他发现这一点时，他感到很欣慰。
He only had to go to rehab once, but recovery was a long process.
他只需要去康复中心一次，但康复是一个漫长的过程。
Stephen tried various jobs, ran out of money, went back to living with his folks.
斯蒂芬尝试了各种工作，花光了钱，回到了和家人一起生活。
They were retired in Western Massachusetts, where he noticed they were looking for volunteer firefighters.
他们在马萨诸塞州西部退休，他注意到他们正在寻找志愿消防员。
So he signed up.
于是他就报名了。
And for some reason, it stuck.
由于某种原因，它卡住了。
In my head and in my mind, I'm like, I'm Stephen the addict.
在我的脑海里，我的脑海里，我就像，我是瘾君子史蒂芬。
And now, I'm Stephen the firefighter.
现在，我是消防员斯蒂芬。
And it was like, I'm a firefighter.
就像，我是一名消防员。
That's pretty cool.
太酷了。
Eventually, he became a paramedic.
最终，他成为了一名护理人员。
Stephen's experience with addiction is not what made saving Kimber so emotional for him though.
不过，斯蒂芬的毒瘾经历并不是让他对拯救金伯如此激动的原因。
It was something else.
这是别的东西。
Back when Stephen was using, his drugs were coming from pain clinics known as pill mills.
当斯蒂芬使用药物时，他的药物来自被称为药丸厂的疼痛诊所。
But by the time he became a paramedic, many of those had been shut down.
但当他成为一名护理人员时，其中许多工厂已经关闭。
More and more people were getting drugs off the street.
越来越多的人从街上获取毒品。
That's when fentanyl entered the scene.
就在这时，芬太尼登场了。
Fentanyl can be 50 times stronger than heroin.
芬太尼的药效比海洛因强 50 倍。
It was causing these cluster overdoses.
它导致了这些集群用药过量。
Stephen would see them from his ambulance.
斯蒂芬会在救护车上看到他们。
He'd have days where he'd go to five ODs, one after another.
有时他会接连去五次 OD。
He was seeing more people die too.
他也看到更多的人死去。
One case stuck with him.
有一个案子一直困扰着他。
Everything went wrong.
一切都出了问题。
They were at the station when he got the call.
当他接到电话时，他们正在车站。
And the street address that was given, we'll say, for example, that was 313, like 3-1-3.
例如，给出的街道地址是 313，如 3-1-3。
And we get there, and there is no 313.
我们到了那里，却没有 313。
This isn't that uncommon, but usually, someone hears the sirens and comes out, says, we're over here.
这种情况并不少见，但通常有人听到警报声就会出来说，我们到了。
And so in this particular case, that didn't happen.
所以在这个特殊情况下，这种情况并没有发生。
And so we just start to go knock on doors and look.
所以我们就开始去敲门看看。
And so that went on.
就这样继续下去。
We knocked out a bunch of doors, and nobody ever came out.
我们敲掉了一堆门，却没有人出来。
And so the other thing that dispatch will try to do is they'll try to call the person back repeatedly.
因此，调度员会尝试做的另一件事是，他们会尝试反复给该人回电话。
Nobody answered on the call back.
回电后无人接听。
And so, eventually, we have finite resources.
因此，最终我们的资源是有限的。
And so the next calls are coming in, and we have to move on.
所以接下来的电话会打进来，我们必须继续前进。
A little while later, a different call comes in, a call about a dead body, a woman.
过了一会儿，另一个电话打了进来，是关于一具尸体的电话，是一个女人。
Stephen hears the location and realizes this was the overdose victim from that original call.
斯蒂芬听到了位置并意识到这是最初通话中服药过量的受害者。
In fact, Stephen had knocked on her very door.
事实上，斯蒂芬已经敲开了她的门。
Whoever called 911 the first time, they'd mixed up the numbers.
无论是谁第一次拨打 911，他们都会混淆号码。
So it wasn't 313.
所以不是313。
It was 133, something like that.
是 133，类似的数字。
So when Stephen and the cops fanned out, went house to house, Stephen had craned his neck to look in the window of the right building, but he just couldn't see the woman who needed his help.
因此，当斯蒂芬和警察分散开来，挨家挨户地走时，斯蒂芬伸长脖子往右边大楼的窗户里看，但他就是看不到那个需要他帮助的女人。
She was just out of view.
她只是看不见而已。
She was right around the corner from the door that I had looked in.
她就在我往里看的那扇门的拐角处。
And I just thought to myself, I was like six feet from her.
我心里想，我离她只有六英尺。
And when I got there, she was probably-- we could still have saved her.
当我到达那里时，她可能——我们仍然可以救她。
That was actually somebody that I had reversed an overdose on in the past.
那实际上是我过去逆转过服药过量的人。
I hadn't stayed in real touch, but she worked in the community, so I would see her sometimes.
我并没有真正保持联系，但她在社区工作，所以我有时会见到她。
Stephen played this over and over again in his mind, looking for ways it could have gone differently.
斯蒂芬在脑海中一遍又一遍地思考这个问题，寻找可能有不同的发展方式。
He understood that whoever called 911, they were doing what they could to keep this woman alive, but they were also scared, scared that when someone like Stephen showed up, there would be trouble.
他明白，无论谁拨打了911，他们都在尽其所能地让这个女人活下去，但他们也很害怕，害怕当像斯蒂芬这样的人出现时，就会有麻烦。
So they left.
于是他们离开了。
And in the end, it was leaving this woman alone that killed her.
而最后，却是让这个女人独自一人害死了她。
It meant Stephen couldn't find her.
这意味着斯蒂芬找不到她。
That overdose call solidified something for Stephen.
那次服药过量的电话让斯蒂芬更加坚定了一些东西。
With the drug supply getting more dangerous, keeping people who used drugs safe meant making sure they weren't left by themselves.
随着毒品供应变得越来越危险，确保吸毒者的安全意味着确保他们不会被遗弃。
It was sometime around then that he heard about the Never Use Alone hotline, and it immediately made sense.
就在那时，他听说了“切勿单独使用”热线，并立即明白了这一点。
So he got involved-- Zoom meetings, stuff like that.
所以他参与了 Zoom 会议之类的事情。
That's how he met Jessie.
就这样他认识了杰西。
To get the word out where he was, he made these little cards.
为了让大家知道他在哪里，他制作了这些小卡片。
I made this simple design on Vistaprint.
我在 Vistaprint 上做了这个简单的设计。
And I'm not a web designer or a graphic designer, so it looks terrible.
而且我不是网页设计师或图形设计师，所以它看起来很糟糕。
But basically, it was like, this is the Massachusetts line.
但基本上，就像，这是马萨诸塞州线。
Here's the number.
这是号码。
This is what we do.
这就是我们所做的。
And so I used my credit card and bought like 5,000 of those.
于是我用信用卡买了大约 5,000 个。
He convinced programs that give out clean syringes to include these Never Use Alone cards in their kits.
他说服发放干净注射器的项目将这些“切勿单独使用”卡纳入其工具包中。
Stephen had no idea if any of this was really working.
斯蒂芬不知道这一切是否真的有效。
A lot of times, he'd talked to drug users who said, what?
很多次，他与吸毒者交谈，他们说，什么？
I'm going to call up some stranger, tell them I'm about to inject dope?
我要打电话给一些陌生人，告诉他们我要注射毒品？
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吧？
But a few hours before he revived Kimber, she had gotten one of these cards bundled up with the stuff she'd picked up at a needle exchange.
但在他救活金伯的几个小时前，她得到了其中一张卡片，与她在针头交换中捡到的东西捆绑在一起。
That was why she called.
这就是她打电话的原因。
That was the thing that saved her life.
那是救了她一命的东西。
Stephen didn't know that though.
但斯蒂芬并不知道这一点。
When he dragged her out of the bathroom that day and started giving her rescue breaths, there was a cell phone right next to her.
那天，当他把她拖出浴室并开始给她进行人工呼吸时，她旁边有一部手机。
He just didn't put two and two together.
他只是没有把两个和两个放在一起。
After Kimber opened her eyes, Stephen told her she had to go to the hospital for observation.
金伯睁开眼睛后，斯蒂芬告诉她必须去医院观察。
That meant she had to do this walk of shame down her front steps and climb into the back of the ambulance.
这意味着她必须羞愧地走下前门的台阶，爬进救护车的后部。
It was nearly summer, but she put on a big winter coat, pulled up the hood.
快到夏天了，她却穿上了一件大冬衣，拉起了兜帽。
Stephen started packing up.
斯蒂芬开始收拾行李。
Before he left the scene, he went to check in with his crew.
离开现场前，他前往现场查看情况。
So they had the back doors of the ambulance open.
所以他们打开了救护车的后门。
And I stepped up into the back to talk to them.
我走到后面跟他们说话。
And it dawned on me again, like, oh, she was alone.
我再次意识到，哦，她孤身一人。
So I said something along the lines of like, whoever was here with you called and left.
所以我说了类似的话，无论谁和你在一起，都打电话然后离开。
You need to tell them never to do that again.
你需要告诉他们永远不要再这样做。
They need to stay with you until we get here.
他们需要一直陪着你直到我们到达这里。
And then she said, I wasn't with anybody.
然后她说，我没有和任何人在一起。
I was alone.
我独自一人。
And then I said, well, then, who called 911?
然后我说，那么，谁打了 911？
And then she said, I called the Never Use Alone hotline.
然后她说，我拨打了“切勿单独使用”热线。
"Oh, my God," he thought.
“哦，天哪，”他想。
When he got back to the station, that's when he started texting Jessie, and that's when it all kind of came out of him.
当他回到车站时，他开始给杰西发短信，这一切都在他的心里说出来。
When she told me that she was the operator, I started crying.
当她告诉我她是接线员时，我哭了。
I couldn't believe it.
我简直不敢相信。
We sobbed on the phone together.
我们在电话里一起哭泣。
I was in my office.
我当时在办公室。
There was this conference room thing that I was in, and I had the door closed.
我当时所在的会议室是关着门的。
And I was talking to her, and I'm sitting there crying with her.
我正在和她说话，我坐在那里和她一起哭泣。
And it was just-- it was like, wow.
就好像，哇。
Stephen says, over his time as a paramedic, he pronounced maybe 30 people dead from an overdose.
斯蒂芬说，在他担任护理人员期间，他宣布大约有 30 人因服药过量死亡。
All of them were alone.
他们都是孤独的。
Kimber was alone too, but she had the line.
金伯也独自一人，但她有电话。
The line had worked.
线路已经工作了。
It's so rare to find something that actually protects people once they're dealing with an addiction.
一旦人们陷入毒瘾，很少能找到真正能保护他们的东西。
But even when you save someone from an overdose, it doesn't mean they'll stop using.
但即使你让某人免于服药过量，也不意味着他们会停止使用。
In fact, usually, they don't.
事实上，通常情况下，他们不会。
The morning after Stephen revived Kimber, Jessie sent her a text.
斯蒂芬救活金伯后的第二天早上，杰西给她发了一条短信。
"Hi," she wrote.
“嗨，”她写道。
"I am so thankful you called." She sent this with a little smiley face and a green heart emoji.
“我很感谢你打电话来。”她发送的消息带有一个小笑脸和一个绿心表情符号。
Within a couple of hours, Kimber wrote back.
几个小时之内，金伯就回信了。
She thanked Jessie, asked how many times she got Narcanned.
她感谢杰西，并询问她注射了多少次麻醉药。
Then, Kimber says, "I want to use again this morning, but I'm terrified." "If you use again today," Jessie replied, "the likelihood of you OD'ing again is almost guaranteed."
然后，金伯说：“今天早上我想再次使用，但我很害怕。” “如果你今天再次使用，”杰西回答道，“几乎可以保证你再次吸毒的可能性。”
Mary Harris.
玛丽·哈里斯。
Coming up, what's Jessie's deal?
接下来，杰西的交易是什么？
Also, a fight in a Krispy Kreme parking lot.
此外，还在 Krispy Kreme 停车场发生了一场打架事件。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's show, "The Call," the story of one phone call to one telephone hotline and its aftermath.
今天的节目“The Call”讲述了一个电话热线电话及其后果的故事。
So Kimber did keep using and kept calling the line.
所以金伯确实继续使用并继续拨打该电话。
And a lot of times, she was connected with Jessie, which brings us to Act 3 of our program, "Jessie." Again, here's Mary Harris.
很多时候，她和杰西有联系，这让我们看到了节目的第三幕“杰西”。玛丽·哈里斯再次报道。
Jessie's kind of the backstop for the entire hotline, the whole operation.
杰西是整个热线、整个运作的后盾。
If none of the other operators are available, the calls automatically go to her.
如果其他接线员都没有空，电话就会自动转给她。
And she pretty much always picks up.
她几乎总是接电话。
Sometimes she'll even give someone her cell and say, just call me directly.
有时她甚至会把手机交给某人并说，直接给我打电话就可以了。
She did that with Kimber.
她和金伯就是这么做的。
It's like she can't help herself.
就好像她无法控制自己一样。
Oh, I got a call.
哦，我接到电话了。
OK.
好的。
Mary Harris I went down to visit Jessie at her home in Georgia to watch her work.
玛丽·哈里斯 我去杰西佐治亚州的家拜访她，观看她的工作。
You have an incoming call.
您有来电。
Jessie Never Use Alone.
Jessie 切勿单独使用。
It's Jessie.
是杰西。
From the second I walked in, she was taking calls, still in her housedress and mismatched socks.
从我走进去的那一刻起，她就开始接电话，仍然穿着家居服和不相配的袜子。
The vibe was organized chaos.
气氛是有组织的混乱。
She takes in strays, seven cats-- one is missing an eye-- a chihuahua, and more chickens than she can count.
她收养了流浪猫、七只猫（其中一只失去了一只眼睛）、一只吉娃娃狗，还有数不清的鸡。
Look at our eggs.
看看我们的鸡蛋。
Mary Harris Eh!
玛丽·哈里斯 呃！
Oh, those are from your chickens?
哦，那些是你养的鸡的吗？
Yes, those are the eating eggs.
是的，这些就是吃鸡蛋。
We've got eating eggs.
我们要吃鸡蛋了
They laid their eggs in the garage.
他们把鸡蛋产在车库里。
I wanted to know how Jessie, a nurse, had ended up spending so much of her time on this line.
我想知道杰西，一名护士，是如何在这条线上花费这么多时间的。
And at some point, in a pause in the conversation, she said this.
在谈话暂停的某个时刻，她说了这句话。
She was talking about Kaylen.
她在谈论凯伦。
Kaylen's 23, her only kid.
凯伦 23 岁，她唯一的孩子。
She's the most magnificent creature I've ever met in my life.
她是我一生中见过的最伟大的生物。
She's also the raggediest bitch I've ever met in my life.
她也是我一生中见过的最破烂的婊子。
She's magnificent.
她太棒了。
She is magnificent.
她是伟大的。
Kaylen has overdosed a dozen times and counting.
凯伦已经服药过量十几次，而且还在增加。
Have you picked up the phone and it's your daughter?
你拿起电话了吗，是你女儿打来的吗？
No, she would let me know that she was calling.
不，她会让我知道她正在打电话。
"Hey, Mom, I'm going to call the line." Thanks for letting me know.
“嘿，妈妈，我去拨打电话。”谢谢你让我知道。
I think-- I know that I could cut it off.
我想——我知道我可以把它剪掉。
I could cut the Mama off.
我可以切断妈妈的联系。
I could keep the Mama cut off if she become unresponsive.
如果妈妈没有反应，我可以让她与她断绝联系。
I know I could do what I have to do.
我知道我可以做我必须做的事情。
But what if I couldn't?
但如果我不能呢？
Watching her daughter nearly die again and again is kind of how Jessie came around to a whole new way of thinking, and the hotline, too.
看着女儿一次又一次差点死去，杰西开始接受一种全新的思维方式，也开始使用热线电话。
She tried for years to force her daughter to change.
多年来她一直试图强迫女儿改变。
She wanted her to finish school.
她希望她完成学业。
She wanted her to go to rehab.
她想让她去康复中心。
She wanted her to come home.
她想让她回家。
But wanting all that never made anything go differently.
但想要这一切并不会让事情变得不同。
It just made Kaylen push her away.
这让凯伦把她推开了。
Now, for her daughter, she really only has one goal.
现在，对于女儿来说，她真的只有一个目标。
It's the same goal she has for her callers-- don't die.
这与她对来访者的目标是一样的——不要死。
Jessie's serious about this goal, and this one goal only.
杰西对这个目标很认真，而且只是这一个目标。
She literally has a tattoo on her forearm that's a bird taking flight.
她的前臂上确实有一个纹身，是一只正在飞翔的鸟。
It's carrying a banner in its beak with a single word on it, "fucks," as in, "I don't give a fuck." My fucks are flying away.
它的嘴里叼着一面横幅，上面写着一个词，“操”，就像“我才不在乎”。我他妈的都飞走了。
Jessie told me this one story about a time Kaylen pulled up in front of the house with a bag of dope and a couple of friends.
杰西给我讲了一个故事，有一次凯伦带着一袋毒品和几个朋友把车停在屋前。
It was late at night, just Jessie and her husband at home.
夜已深了，家里只有杰西和她丈夫。
Kaylen called her from the driveway.
凯伦在车道上给她打电话。
I said, what are y'all doing?
我说你们都在做什么？
She said, well, Mama, we just picked up from a new guy, and we're not real sure if it's safe or not.
她说，好吧，妈妈，我们刚刚接了一个新人，我们不确定它是否安全。
I said, so y'all are going to sit in my front yard and use dope in a car?
我说，所以你们要坐在我的前院，在车里吸毒？
I said, how the hell-- I said, what I'm gonna do for y'all in a car, Kaylen?
我说，我说，我要在车里为你们做些什么，凯伦？
And I heard her.
我听到了她的声音。
She said, I told y'all we could go inside.
她说，我告诉过你们我们可以进去了。
I said, yes.
我说，是的。
I said, you're either going to come inside, or you're going to get out of my yard.
我说，你要么进来，要么离开我的院子。
I said I can't--
我说我不能——
Mm-mm.
嗯嗯。
Mary Harris They came in, and she watched as her daughter injected herself at her kitchen table.
玛丽·哈里斯 他们进来了，她看着女儿在厨房的桌子上给自己注射。
I had so many questions about this approach.
我对这种方法有很多疑问。
I'm a parent.
我是一名家长。
I know how hard it is to stop wanting things for your kids, stop protecting them, stop pushing them towards some imagined, better future.
我知道停止想要孩子的东西、停止保护他们、停止推动他们走向想象中的更美好的未来是多么困难。
The implications of abandoning that wanting were so radical to me.
放弃这种渴望的含义对我来说是如此激进。
I asked, what if Kaylen never stops using drugs?
我问，如果凯伦永远不停止吸毒怎么办？
If what she wants to do is continue to use, she should be alive and healthy to do so.
如果她想做的是继续使用，她应该活着并且健康才能这样做。
If what she wants to do is one day kick and go on and do something else, she should be healthy and alive to be able to do so.
如果她想做的是有一天踢球并继续做其他事情，那么她应该健康且活着才能做到这一点。
Do you even see her like no longer using permanently as a goal?
你是否甚至看到她不再以永久为目标？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I honestly don't think about what Kaylen will or won't do, and I honestly don't-- I don't mean this to sound like it's going to sound-- I really don't care what Kaylen does.
老实说，我不会考虑凯伦会做什么或不会做什么，而且我真的不会——我的意思不是听起来会这样——我真的不在乎凯伦会做什么。
As long as she don't die, that'll be great.
只要她不死就太好了。
That's it.
就是这样。
We can work with anything but death.
除了死亡，我们可以与任何事物合作。
It must have taken you so long to get there.
你一定花了很长时间才到达那里。
It took a fight in a Krispy Kreme parking lot one morning, right there where y'all stay.
一天早上，在你们住的一家 Krispy Kreme 停车场发生了一场战斗。
You go down to the end of Dawson.
你一直走到道森的尽头。
I bet y'all go to the end of Dawson and take a left to come to my house.
我打赌你们都会走到道森的尽头，然后左转来我家。
It's a Krispy Kreme donut shop right there.
那里有一家 Krispy Kreme 甜甜圈店。
It took a fist fight in the Krispy Kreme parking lot for me and her to come to this place.
我和她在 Krispy Kreme 停车场打了一架，才来到这个地方。
I hadn't seen her in weeks.
我已经好几个星期没见到她了。
I hadn't heard from her.
我没有收到她的消息。
She was hiding from me.
她在躲着我。
Because every time I talked to her, I was giving her the business, you know?
因为每次我和她说话，我都是在把生意交给她，你知道吗？
You're going to come home.
你要回家了。
You're going to do this.
你要这样做。
You're going do that.
你要这么做。
I was yelling at her, making her feel like crap.
我对她大喊大叫，让她觉得自己很糟糕。
People who are using substances who are in the place that she is, they feel bad enough about themselves.
那些正在使用药物的人，他们对自己的感觉已经够糟糕的了。
They don't need us to help them.
他们不需要我们帮助他们。
OK?
好的？
So she would change her phone number.
所以她要换电话号码。
She would hide from me.
她会躲着我。
I wouldn't see her.
我不会见她。
I'd ride an hour every morning before work.
我每天早上上班前都会骑一个小时。
I'd ride an hour at lunch.
午餐时我会骑一个小时。
And I'd ride an hour and a half every afternoon when I got off.
每天下午下车后我都会骑一个半小时。
I would ride 3 and 1/2 hours every single day, Monday through Friday, to try to catch a glimpse of my baby.
从周一到周五，我每天都会骑 3又1/2 小时，试图看一眼我的宝宝。
You would just literally ride around town, looking for her?
你真的会骑车绕城寻找她吗？
Literally ride around town in the places that I knew she was, trying to catch a glimpse of my baby.
从字面上看，在我认识她的地方骑车绕城转一圈，试图看一眼我的宝宝。
One morning, on the way to work, I saw her.
一天早上，我在上班的路上遇见了她。
She doesn't remember this.
她不记得这件事了。
She was that altered.
她就是这样变了。
But I saw her walking across the Krispy Kreme parking lot, and I drove across five lanes of traffic, me in that little Jeep.
但我看到她走过 Krispy Kreme 停车场，我开着那辆小吉普车穿过五个车道。
And I ran up on her, and I was excited.
我跑向她，我很兴奋。
And I guess I ran up real fast.
我想我跑得很快。
And she had her earbuds in, and I touched her.
她戴着耳机，我碰了碰她。
I grabbed her shoulder.
我抓住她的肩膀。
I meant to touch her shoulder, but I grabbed her shoulder.
我本想触碰她的肩膀，但我却抓住了她的肩膀。
And when I did, she turned around and hit me.
当我这样做时，她转过身来打我。
And being from West Tennessee, I hit her back.
作为来自西田纳西州的我，我回击了她。
So for a few seconds, she forgot I was her mama, and I forgot I was her mama.
所以有那么几秒钟，她忘记了我是她的妈妈，我也忘记了我是她的妈妈。
And when we got through fighting in the Krispy Kreme parking lot, we were both bleeding.
当我们在 Krispy Kreme 停车场打架后，我们都流血了。
She threw her hands out to the side, and she said, Mama, what the fuck do you want from me?
她把手伸向一边，说道，妈妈，你到底想从我这里得到什么？
And I threw my hands out and screamed back, what I've said a thousand times to you today.
我伸出双手，尖叫着回应，这是我今天对你说过一千次的话。
If you could just not die, that would be great.
如果你能不死，那就太好了。
And that's when it hit me.
就在那时，我受到了打击。
Just don't die.
只是别死。
That was literally the moment, the moment my brain shifted.
那确实是那一刻，我的大脑发生转变的那一刻。
Because even standing there bleeding, I was looking at my baby, and she was OK.
因为即使站在那里流血，我也在看着我的孩子，她没事。
And in that moment, that was all that mattered.
在那一刻，这才是最重要的。
Remember, Jessie was on her way to work when all this happened.
请记住，这一切发生时，杰西正在上班的路上。
I was in my nursing uniform going to teach-- I teach collegiately.
我穿着护士制服去教书——我在大学教书。
I was going to lecture.
我本来要去讲课的。
I was going to stand at my podium, looking my very best, my very best professional nurse that I could possibly look, going to teach all these baby nurses.
我要站在我的讲台上，尽我所能，表现出我最好的、我最好的专业护士的样子，去教所有这些婴儿护士。
She told them exactly what had just happened.
她把刚刚发生的事情一一告诉了他们。
After that fight in the parking lot, Jessie started getting needles for Kaylen.
在停车场打架后，杰西开始为凯伦打针。
Then she ordered Narcan.
然后她点了纳洛酮。
She got a big box to distribute around town.
她有一个大盒子要分发到镇上各处。
And inside was a Never Use Alone card.
里面有一张“切勿单独使用”卡。
Jessie saw it and thought, huh, good idea.
杰西看到了，心想，嗯，好主意。
I heard about Never Use Alone when I ordered my own Narcan from the New York City Department of Health.
当我从纽约市卫生部订购自己的纳洛酮时，我听说了“切勿单独使用”。
You have to go to a training before they'll send it to you.
您必须先参加培训，然后他们才会将其发送给您。
The training tells you how and when to reverse an overdose, and one of their PowerPoint slides mentioned the hotline.
培训告诉您如何以及何时逆转服药过量，他们的一张 PowerPoint 幻灯片提到了热线。
At the time, I imagined Never Use Alone was some official thing, like 911.
当时，我以为“永远不要单独使用”是一些官方的事情，比如 911。
But it's nothing like that.
但事实并非如此。
It was started, as Jessie puts it, by a bunch of drug users who were tired of watching their friends die.
正如杰西所说，它是由一群厌倦了看着朋友死去的吸毒者发起的。
When she first volunteered to answer calls, the screening process to be an operator consisted of talking to one guy to see if you were a fit.
当她第一次自愿接听电话时，成为接线员的筛选过程包括与一个人交谈，看看你是否适合。
The very same day, she picked up her cell and got connected to someone who was about to get high.
就在同一天，她拿起手机，接通了一个即将嗑药的人。
I said, hello?
我说，喂？
And he said, I'm trying to reach Never Use Alone.
他说，我正在努力达到“永不单独使用”的目标。
And I'm like, oh, shit, I guess you did.
我想，哦，妈的，我猜你是这么做的。
[LAUGHS] Because I didn't know what to do.
[笑]因为我不知道该怎么办。
I mean, I knew I needed to get his address.
我的意思是，我知道我需要得到他的地址。
I mean, that was kind of a no-brainer, right?
我的意思是，那是理所当然的，对吧？
But outside of that, I was like-- he was like, are you going to get my information?
但除此之外，我就像——他就像，你会得到我的信息吗？
I'm like, what information do I need?
我想，我需要什么信息？
He's like, oh, god.
他就像，哦，上帝。
He said, you're going to let me die.
他说，你会让我死的。
And I'm like, well, I mean, it seems that way right now, so help me out.
我想，嗯，我的意思是，现在看起来就是这样，所以帮帮我吧。
In the years since, Jessie's set up a whole system, a script that operators can use, a training regimen.
从那以后的几年里，杰西建立了一个完整的系统，一个操作员可以使用的脚本，一个培训方案。
But this organization is still basically run on a Google Doc and a prayer.
但这个组织基本上仍然是在谷歌文档和祈祷的基础上运行的。
I hung out while Jessie took one call after another over two days.
两天来，我出去玩，而杰西接了一个又一个电话。
The calls were intimate, sometimes joyful.
这些电话很亲密，有时甚至很愉快。
One guy talked to Jessie for like half an hour about his life, where he was going over the weekend, his girlfriend, his health.
一个人和杰西聊了大约半个小时，谈论了他的生活、周末去哪里、他的女朋友和他的健康状况。
You do good.
你做得很好。
You're drinking an ounce of water for every kilogram of body weight, aren't you?
每公斤体重要喝一盎司水，不是吗？
Didn't we figure that out the last time I talked to you?
上次我和你谈话的时候我们不是已经弄清楚了吗？
Another guy felt guilty for taking up Jessie's time.
另一个人因为占用了杰西的时间而感到内疚。
He tried to have everything ready to go when he called, and he apologized afterward.
当他打电话时，他试图把一切准备好，然后他道歉了。
Listen, if it wasn't for people like you calling, people like me wouldn't have nothing to do.
听着，如果不是像你这样的人打电话，像我这样的人就不会无所事事。
I'd be bored as hell.
我会无聊得要命。
I am so glad you called me.
我很高兴你打电话给我。
He told her he tapes Narcan to his arm and sits on his porch after getting high in case he passes out.
他告诉她，他在吸毒后将纳洛酮贴在手臂上，并坐在门廊上，以防他昏倒。
He hopes his neighbors will find him.
他希望他的邻居能找到他。
There was no recovery talk.
没有谈论康复。
Sprinkled throughout these conversations were little reminders of how scary things are for the people who need this line.
这些对话中几乎没有提醒人们，对于需要这条热线的人来说，事情是多么可怕。
Jessie gently admonished one caller who told her he'd used on his own, a few hours before, without letting her know.
杰西温柔地警告了一位来电者，他告诉她，几个小时前他自己使用了这种药物，但没有让她知道。
You didn't call me.
你没有打电话给我。
You know my heart would be broke if something happened to you.
你知道如果你出了什么事我的心会碎。
OK.
好的。
OK.
好的。
Just call us.
只需致电我们即可。
It's not a bother.
这不是什么麻烦事。
Even if it's a tiny amount, OK, even if it's a tiny amount, it's OK.
即使是一点点也没关系，即使是一点点也没关系。
You're worth it.
你值得。
You're worth it every time, OK?
你每次都是值得的，好吗？
It's notable that everyone in this story has some kind of connection to addiction-- the people who started the hotline, Stephen, the paramedic, Jessie with her daughter, and actually, Jessie herself.
值得注意的是，这个故事中的每个人都与毒瘾有某种联系——开通热线的人、斯蒂芬、护理人员、杰西和她的女儿，实际上还有杰西本人。
20 years ago, she had a real problem with opioids.
20 年前，她对阿片类药物确实存在问题。
I did, back in 2002.
早在 2002 年，我就这么做了。
I'd had a surgery.
我做过手术。
And my doctor put me on oxy 30's.
我的医生让我服用 oxy 30。
I'm a nurse.
我是一名护士。
Anytime I called for a refill, I got one.
每当我要求续杯时，我都会得到一个。
For Jessie, there was no rock bottom moment.
对于杰西来说，没有最低谷的时刻。
But after a couple of years, she started running out of pills.
但几年后，她的药片开始用完。
And she didn't want to risk her nursing license to get more.
她不想拿自己的护士执照去冒险去获得更多。
She quit cold turkey, spent three days sick on her bathroom floor.
她戒掉了戒烟，在浴室地板上病了三天。
Then it was over.
然后就结束了。
Jessie says her daughter Kaylen started using years later when a boyfriend introduced her to heroin.
杰西说，她的女儿凯伦几年后开始吸食海洛因，当时男友向她介绍了海洛因。
Jessie wonders about why a lot.
杰西很想知道为什么。
Everyone has a why, Jessie says.
杰西说，每个人都有一个原因。
Kaylen's why, she thinks, sort of has to do with her, their particular mother-daughter relationship.
凯伦认为，她的原因有点与她有关，与她们特殊的母女关系有关。
Jessie can be a hard ass.
杰西可能是个硬汉。
Kaylen, too.
凯伦也是。
When Kaylen got pregnant at 15, Jessie thought Kaylen's boyfriend was bad news, so she blocked him and his family from calling Kaylen's cell.
当凯伦15岁怀孕时，杰西认为凯伦的男朋友是个坏消息，所以她阻止他和他的家人拨打凯伦的手机。
Kaylen was pissed.
凯伦很生气。
She threatened to move out.
她威胁要搬出去。
One morning, Jessie told her to go ahead and do it, so she did.
一天早上，杰西让她继续做，她就这么做了。
They'd see each other every once in a while, but it wasn't the same.
他们偶尔会见面，但并不一样。
I found out I was a grandmother through a text message, when I had been at the hospital for two days with her while she was in labor.
当她临产时，我在医院陪了她两天时，我通过短信得知我是一位祖母。
But she sent me home and said, I'll be fine.
但她送我回家并说，我会没事的。
I'll let you know when something starts happening.
当有事情发生时我会通知你。
And I found out the baby was here through a text message.
我通过短信得知孩子在这里。
Oh, that's so hard.
哦，那太难了。
That's so hard because it's like, you go back, and you're like-- I don't know.
这太难了，因为就像，你回去后，你就像——我不知道。
Like, what should we have done?
比如，我们应该做什么？
I don't go back and have any regrets.
我不会回去，也不会有任何遗憾。
I did the best I could with what I had at the time.
我利用当时所拥有的一切，尽力而为。
That's all I got.
这就是我所得到的。
Yeah.
是的。
Jessie When it became overtly obvious that I was really not doing my best, that I was making things worse between me and her-- because we were always so incredibly close-- and when I realized, all right, you're fucking this up, you got to find a different way.
杰西：当事情变得非常明显时，我真的没有尽力而为，我让我和她之间的事情变得更糟——因为我们总是如此亲密——当我意识到，好吧，你搞砸了，你必须找到一种不同的方式。
You got to do something else because this right here is not working.
你必须做点别的事情，因为这里不起作用。
Over the years, Jessie has watched Kaylen go back and forth.
多年来，杰西一直看着凯伦来回走动。
She'll have months of sobriety, then return to use.
她将有几个月的清醒时间，然后恢复使用。
Kaylen's been picked up by the cops, had her photo posted on the local police department's Facebook page.
凯伦被警察带走，她的照片被发布在当地警察局的 Facebook 页面上。
While I was visiting, Jessie called Kaylen up.
当我拜访时，杰西给凯伦打电话。
Kaylen said she'd come by to talk, but she never showed.
凯伦说她会过来谈谈，但她从未露面。
I think Kaylen's part of why Jessie takes so many of these Never Use Alone calls.
我认为凯伦是杰西接听这么多“切勿单独使用”电话的部分原因。
It's people like her daughter on the other end.
另一端是像她女儿这样的人。
She told me as much.
她也这么告诉我。
I didn't want her to die.
我不想让她死。
This whole thing is about-- every, every, every fucking thing I do is about her not dying.
整件事都是关于——我他妈做的每一件事，每一件事，都是为了让她不要死。
About her not dying, then about her and her homie not dying, and then about her and her homie and their homies dying.
关于她没有死，然后关于她和她的朋友没有死，然后关于她和她的朋友以及他们的朋友的死亡。
And now it's about the entire town not dying.
现在是关于整个城镇不死的问题。
When Jessie took that call from Kimber, listened to her OD on the line, she knew better than to expect that moment to change Kimber's life.
当杰西接到金伯打来的电话，听到她在线上的OD时，她知道不要指望那一刻会改变金伯的生活。
And the next day, when Kimber thanked Jessie for saving her and then quickly followed that up with, "I want to use again," it didn't surprise Jessie.
第二天，当金伯感谢杰西救了她，然后很快又说：“我想再次使用”时，杰西并不感到惊讶。
In fact, for Jessie, this was good news.
事实上，对于杰西来说，这是个好消息。
It meant she could encourage Kimber to keep using the line, and it was an invitation to stay in touch.
这意味着她可以鼓励金伯继续使用这条线路，这是保持联系的邀请。
So she did.
所以她做到了。
She friended Kimber on Facebook, texted her for no reason.
她在脸书上加了金伯为好友，无缘无故地给她发短信。
A few months after her OD, Kimber started calling Jessie "Mama." But Kimber would also drift away.
吸毒几个月后，金伯开始称呼杰西为“妈妈”。但金伯也会渐行渐远。
When she did that, Stephen and Jessie would try to keep track of Kimber online, what she was liking and commenting on.
当她这样做时，斯蒂芬和杰西会尝试在网上跟踪金伯，了解她的喜好和评论。
"Messenger shows her active 6 minutes ago," Jessie texted Stephen at one point.
“Messenger 显示她 6 分钟前很活跃，”杰西有一次给斯蒂芬发短信。
"She hasn't even read my message.
“她甚至没有读过我的信息。
I text her phone-- nothing." "Yeah," he replied.
我给她发短信——什么也没有。” “是的，”他回答道。
"She's been leaving me on read," like she'd seen his message but hadn't replied.
“她一直在让我阅读，”就像她看到了他的消息但没有回复一样。
A month later, Jessie tried Kimber again.
一个月后，杰西再次尝试金伯。
"Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while.
“嘿，我已经有一段时间没有收到你的消息了。
I hope that means you're good," she texted.
我希望这意味着你很好，”她发短信说。
Two days later, "hello?
两天后，“喂？
Are you good"?
你好吗？”
A day after that-- "hi, this is Jessie B., in case you lost my contact.
一天后——“嗨，我是 Jessie B.，以防万一你失去了我的联系方式。
It's not like you not to respond.
你又不是不回应。
I'm growing concerned." She added a heart emoji, pressed send, and hoped for the best.
我越来越担心了。”她添加了一个心形表情符号，按下发送键，并希望一切顺利。
Act 4, "Kimber." While Jessie was checking in with Kimber by text and Facebook, Stephen, the paramedic, he was trying to help out IRL.
第四幕，“金伯”。当杰西（Jessie）通过短信和 Facebook 与金伯（Kimber）联系时，护理人员斯蒂芬（Stephen）正在努力帮助现实生活。
After all, he and Kimber lived in the same town.
毕竟，他和金伯住在同一个城镇。
Stephen got Kimber back into rehab.
斯蒂芬让金伯回到康复中心。
Then he offered to get her into job training.
然后他提出让她参加职业培训。
A few weeks after her overdose, he posted a picture of the two of them on Twitter.
她服药过量几周后，他在推特上发布了两人的照片。
Kimber had shown up at Stephen's July 4th barbecue.
金伯出现在斯蒂芬 7 月 4 日的烧烤会上。
A few months after that, though, is when Kimber went silent for Stephen and Jessie.
然而，几个月后，金伯对斯蒂芬和杰西保持沉默。
Weeks went by, then months.
几周过去了，然后是几个月。
And then Jessie got a text from a number she didn't recognize.
然后杰西收到了一条她不认识的号码发来的短信。
It read, "hey, Jessie, it's Kimber.
上面写着：“嘿，杰西，我是金伯。
I just wanted to give you my new number." Jessie replies, "oh, hey, hi," four exclamation marks.
我只是想给你我的新号码。”杰西回答道，“哦，嘿，嗨，”四个感叹号。
Kimber was alive.
金伯还活着。
[KNOCKING] Mary Harris Is this going to bug you?
[敲门声] 玛丽·哈里斯 这会让你烦恼吗？
No, you're good.
不，你很好。
[LAUGHS] Mary Harris This, of course, finally, is Kimber.
[笑]玛丽·哈里斯 当然，最后是金伯。
Kimber lives in Vermont now.
金伯现在住在佛蒙特州。
She's been sober for one year.
她已经戒酒一年了。
The place she calls home is a tidy duplex where she lives with her little gray dog, Luna, and not a lot else.
她称之为家的地方是一栋整洁的复式公寓，她和她的小灰狗卢娜住在一起，除此之外就没有其他人了。
She didn't bring anything with her when she left Massachusetts, where she OD'd two years back.
当她离开马萨诸塞州时，她没有带任何东西，两年前她在那里吸毒了。
There aren't any family pictures on the wall, not many mementos.
墙上没有任何家庭照片，也没有太多纪念品。
Kimber is growing plants, though.
不过，金伯正在种植植物。
Nature has always been her thing.
自然一直是她的最爱。
As a kid, she was the one who was always bringing creatures home.
小时候，她总是把小动物带回家。
Do you remember Elmyra from Looney Tunes?
你还记得《乐一通》中的艾尔米拉吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Kimber So my family called me Elmyra because her thing on the show was like, she would kiss and hug and squeeze animals until they died.
Kimber 所以我的家人叫我 Elmyra，因为她在节目中的表现就像是，她会亲吻、拥抱和挤压动物，直到它们死去。
And so that's what they called me because I always had some kind of critter or stuff like that.
他们就是这么称呼我的，因为我总是养着某种小动物或类似的东西。
In her new apartment, there's a little sunroom off the kitchen.
在她的新公寓里，厨房旁边有一个小日光浴室。
Kimber wanted to make it into a greenhouse, but the radiator started leaking there, and the floor got soft.
金伯想把它改造成温室，但那里的散热器开始漏水，地板也变软了。
Still, this is a fresh start.
尽管如此，这仍然是一个新的开始。
I do.
我愿意。
I do.
我愿意。
I carry it with me.
我随身携带。
You just never know when you're going to need Narcan.
你永远不知道什么时候需要纳洛酮。
Yeah.
是的。
Kimber I just had to revive somebody the other day here at an AA meeting.
金伯 前几天我刚刚在 AA 会议上救活了一个人。
It was different, being on that side of things.
站在事物的另一边，情况就不同了。
You don't even think about the fact that you almost died.
你甚至没有想到你差点就死了。
That's the crazy part.
这就是疯狂的部分。
Like, I forgot about a couple of my overdoses because you kind of just fall asleep and don't even know that you fell asleep.
就像，我忘记了几次服药过量的事情，因为你只是睡着了，甚至不知道自己睡着了。
I'd always get mad.
我总是会生气。
You get mad at the person.
你对这个人很生气。
You're like, what are you stressing out about?
你会想，你在紧张什么？
I'm here.
我在这儿。
I'm fine.
我很好。
What is the problem?
有什么问题吗？
And then I watched people overdose, and it's like three minutes between when you Narcan them, and they'll come back.
然后我看到人们服药过量，当你给他们注射纳洛酮时，大约三分钟后他们就会回来。
It feels like an eternity, and all those things run through your head.
感觉就像是永恒，所有这些事情都在你的脑海中闪过。
This person's dead.
这个人已经死了。
I don't know if this person's coming back.
不知道这个人是否会回来。
And then you realize, oh.
然后你就会意识到，哦。
You're like, oh.
你就像，哦。
OK, this was pretty scary.
好吧，这太可怕了。
On that first day she called the line, the day Jessie answered and Stephen revived her, Kimber remembers waking up to a cold shiver rolling down her spine.
金伯记得，在她拨打热线的第一天，杰西接听电话，史蒂芬救活了她，她醒来时感到脊椎发凉。
She was looking down the hallway to the bathroom where she last remembered being, a bathroom now filled with cops.
她沿着走廊望向她记忆中最后所在的浴室，现在浴室里挤满了警察。
There was the suitcase she'd just lugged home from rehab.
那是她刚从戒毒所拖回家的手提箱。
And then she got really, really sick.
然后她病得很厉害。
After Stephen forced her to go to the hospital, she checked herself out within an hour and walked home, puking along the side of the road.
在斯蒂芬强迫她去医院后，她在一个小时内检查了自己，然后步行回家，沿着路边呕吐。
She picked up more drugs pretty much right away.
她几乎立刻就拿起了更多的毒品。
The whole idea of Never Use Alone's approach is that, as Jessie puts it, you give the callers time, one more day to fight their demons.
正如杰西所说，“永远不要单独使用”方法的整个想法是，你给来电者时间，多一天的时间来对抗他们的恶魔。
And Kimber had a lot of demons.
金伯有很多恶魔。
She says her parents both used drugs.
她说她的父母都吸毒。
When she was 17, her brother was killed by a drug dealer.
当她17岁时，她的哥哥被毒贩杀害。
The whole family kind of crumbled after that, Kimber included.
从那以后，整个家庭都崩溃了，包括金伯。
Kimber went to rehab on and off for years.
金伯断断续续地接受了康复治疗多年。
She'd use a ton of drugs, realize things were getting a little out of control, and check in for a couple of weeks to "spin dry," as she put it.
她会使用大量药物，意识到事情有点失控，然后用她的话说，要花几周时间来“甩干”。
She'd get clean enough to go back to work and pay her rent, and then the cycle would start back up again.
她会变得足够干净，可以回去工作并支付房租，然后循环又会重新开始。
So the call with Jessie was not the moment things changed.
因此，与杰西的通话并不是事情发生变化的那一刻。
That moment came over a year later.
一年多后，那一刻到来了。
Things had gotten bad.
事情变得很糟糕。
She says the sheriff had kicked her out of her apartment, the one where Stephen had revived her.
她说治安官把她从公寓里赶了出来，斯蒂芬就是在公寓里救活了她。
Her car had been stolen and totaled.
她的车被盗并被毁坏。
She was carrying around a backpack with her passport and birth certificate in it.
她背着一个背包，里面有护照和出生证明。
But then it disappeared.
但后来它就消失了。
Her cell phone was gone too.
她的手机也不见了。
She had a friend who would let her crash, but the friend had a condition.
她有一个朋友愿意让她崩溃，但是这个朋友有一个条件。
Kimber had to call detox every day and try to get a bed, which eventually she did.
金伯每天都得给戒毒所打电话，争取一张床位，最终她做到了。
The hotline is called Never Use Alone, but walking into rehab, Kimber was utterly and completely alone.
该热线电话名为“永远不要独自使用”，但走进康复中心时，金伯完全是一个人。
And maybe for this part, you have to be.
也许对于这一部分，你必须这样做。
When she arrived, the nurse asked if she wanted medication.
当她到达时，护士问她是否需要药物。
Methadone?
美沙酮？
To make getting straight a little easier?
为了让变得更容易一点？
For the first time, she said no.
她第一次说不。
So I went up to detox and detoxed with no medication.
于是我就去排毒，不吃药就排毒了。
What did that feel like?
那感觉如何？
Kimber It was awful.
金伯 太糟糕了。
I just remember going in, and I couldn't lay in the bed.
我只记得进去之后，我就无法躺在床上了。
It was so cold.
天气太冷了。
They had the AC blasting.
他们进行了空调爆破。
It was summertime.
那是夏天。
Of course, the AC is on.
当然，空调是开着的。
But you're going through withdrawal, so you're so cold.
但你正在经历戒断，所以你很冷。
And I couldn't lay in the bed because they gave you like these thin blankets.
我不能躺在床上，因为他们给了你这些薄毯子。
So I went in the bathroom, where there's a heater thing in there, and laid on the floor.
所以我走进浴室，那里有一个加热器，我躺在地板上。
And they dragged me out.
他们把我拖了出去。
They wouldn't let me stay in the bathroom.
他们不让我呆在浴室里。
They're like, you can't lay in here.
他们说，你不能躺在这里。
And so then I waited for them to leave, and I went into the bathroom.
于是我等他们走了，我就进了浴室。
The only thing that felt good was I stripped down naked.
唯一感觉良好的是我脱光了衣服。
It was a really small bathroom with like tile floors, so I had to throw my clothes out of the door back into my room and just lay on the tile.
这是一个非常小的浴室，地板就像瓷砖一样，所以我不得不把衣服从门扔回我的房间，然后躺在瓷砖上。
And I had the blanket over the heating vent, and I just like had the heat on there.
我把毯子盖在暖气出口上，我喜欢那里有暖气。
But the coolness on my back and then the heat-- oh, my God.
但我的背上先是凉凉的，然后是热的——哦，天哪。
It was the only thing that kept me being able to sit through it.
这是唯一让我能够坚持下去的事情。
And I mean, I was throwing up the whole time.
我的意思是，我一直在呕吐。
And I don't know how long I was there.
而且我不知道我在那里呆了多久。
It was a while.
已经有一段时间了。
It just felt like days and days went on.
感觉日子一天天过去。
And I didn't think it was ever going to stop.
我不认为它会停止。
And I just kept telling myself that I could do it, that I really had the strength to do it.
我只是不断告诉自己我能做到，我真的有力量做到这一点。
Kimber remembers all the details because she's really proud of what she did.
金伯记得所有细节，因为她对自己所做的事感到非常自豪。
Four days after she checked in, she sent Jessie that text from a new phone.
入住四天后，她用新手机给杰西发送了这条短信。
"I feel like I'm in a stable enough place right now to reach out and let you know I'm back," Kimber wrote tentatively.
“我觉得我现在处于一个足够稳定的地方，可以向你们伸出援手，让你们知道我回来了，”金伯试探性地写道。
Jessie said, "everything that you've been through has prepared you for today.
杰西说：“你所经历的一切都为你今天做好了准备。
You haven't been wasting time.
你没有浪费时间。
You've been getting ready.
你已经做好准备了。
I'll support you however you need me to, every step of the way." For Kimber, it's been a year of big changes.
无论你需要什么，我都会支持你，每一步都是如此。”对于 Kimber 来说，这是发生重大变化的一年。
She's in a new town, but she still doesn't really trust herself around her old crowd.
她来到了一个新城镇，但在老朋友面前她仍然不太信任自己。
It's interesting how this one call brought these three people together.
有趣的是，这一通电话如何将这三个人聚集在一起。
Stephen told me when he first met Jessie, they didn't really like each other-- too similar maybe.
斯蒂芬告诉我，当他第一次见到杰西时，他们并不真正喜欢对方——也许太相似了。
But the call bonded them somehow.
但这个电话却以某种方式将他们联系在一起。
And Kimber, right after that call, she avoided Stephen, even though he kept reaching out.
而金伯，在那通电话之后，她就避开了斯蒂芬，尽管他一直在伸出援手。
She was embarrassed.
她很尴尬。
He lived in her town, knew all the police.
他住在她所在的城镇，认识所有的警察。
She said she got to this point where she knew other people were sick of her bullshit because she was sick of her bullshit.
她说她已经到了这个地步，她知道其他人厌倦了她的废话，因为她厌倦了她的废话。
That passed eventually.
最终还是过去了。
Kimber took a trip with Stephen's family to the beach this summer.
今年夏天，金伯和斯蒂芬的家人一起去海滩旅行。
There are these photos of them, hanging out in the sand.
这些照片是他们在沙滩上闲逛的。
Jessie, to this day, hasn't met Kimber in person, but they text all the time.
迄今为止，杰西还没有亲自见过金伯，但他们一直发短信。
On Mother's Day, Kimber sent Jessie a card.
母亲节那天，金伯给杰西寄了一张卡片。
There was a picture inside of it, an ultrasound.
里面有一张图片，超声波。
Kimber is pregnant.
金伯怀孕了。
I always said my body was too poisonous for anything to live inside.
我总是说我的身体太毒了，任何东西都无法在里面生存。
I had done so much to myself and just berated my body.
我对自己做了很多事，只是斥责我的身体。
And there was no way anything was going to be able to live in this toxic environment.
而且任何东西都无法在这种有毒的环境中生存。
Kimber's got a partner, Mikey.
金伯有一个搭档，麦基。
She met him in AA.
她在AA认识了他。
They moved in together.
他们搬到了一起住。
This pregnancy was a surprise, but a happy one.
这次怀孕是一个惊喜，但也是幸福的。
And I think there was definitely a part of me that thought I didn't know how to be a mother.
我想我内心肯定有一部分认为我不知道如何成为一名母亲。
So when I found out I was pregnant, like even if I had to do it by myself, like I was going to do it.
所以当我发现我怀孕了时，即使我必须自己做，就像我要做的那样。
I'm 31 years old.
我今年31岁了。
I was sober.
我很清醒。
I moved to a brand new place, started with nothing.
我搬到了一个全新的地方，一无所有。
And I knew I could do this.
我知道我能做到这一点。
If I could do everything I was doing, I could do this too.
如果我能做我正在做的一切，我也能做这件事。
So I never for a second thought that I was going to not keep the baby.
所以我从来没有想过我不会留下这个孩子。
Kimber still dreams about using drugs.
金伯仍然梦想着吸毒。
These are absurd dreams, vivid dreams, dreams about smoking dope that turns into vanilla frosting.
这些是荒谬的梦，生动的梦，关于吸毒变成香草糖霜的梦。
And most of the people she went to rehab with, they've gone back to using.
和她一起去康复中心的大多数人都已经恢复使用了。
These days, Jessie's still taking calls, sometimes 10 calls a day.
这些天，杰西仍然接听电话，有时一天要接 10 个电话。
She doesn't hear from her daughter Kaylen very much, but I did reach Kaylen.
她很少收到女儿凯伦的消息，但我确实联系到了凯伦。
She told me she's trying to use less.
她告诉我她正在努力减少用量。
Mostly, she said, she's sticking with weed.
她说，大多数情况下，她都坚持吸大麻。
As for Stephen, he says reviving Kimber changed his life.
至于斯蒂芬，他说金伯的复活改变了他的生活。
He'd been having nightmares about all the people he failed to save.
他一直在做噩梦，梦见那些他没能拯救的人。
After Kimber survived, he realized he didn't have to be the one pumping oxygen into someone's lungs to keep them alive.
金伯幸存后，他意识到他不必向某人的肺部泵入氧气来维持他们的生命。
He could work more on the hotline instead.
他可以在热线电话上做更多的工作。
So he's doing that.
所以他正在这样做。
He's even started taking calls.
他甚至开始接电话。
Stephen and Jessie wanted Kimber to come work on the hotline too.
斯蒂芬和杰西希望金伯也来热线工作。
So she went through the training and just took her very first call.
所以她接受了培训并接听了第一个电话。
Now she's one of the voices on the other side of the phone, saying, put me on speakerphone, lay out your Narcan, unlock your door.
现在她是电话另一端的声音之一，说，让我打开免提电话，拿出你的纳洛酮，打开你的门。
Mary Harris, she's the host and managing editor of Slate's daily news podcast, What Next.
玛丽·哈里斯 (Mary Harris) 是 Slate 每日新闻播客 What Next 的主持人兼总编辑。
They were our collaborators in making this story.
他们是我们制作这个故事的合作者。
If you liked what you just heard, Mary is such an amazing interviewer.
如果您喜欢刚刚听到的内容，那么玛丽是一位非常棒的面试官。
And her daily show gets into the news in ways other people don't.
她的每日节目以其他人不会的方式进入新闻。
You might check it out.
你可以检查一下。
Mary Harris's story was produced and edited by David Kestenbaum.
玛丽·哈里斯的故事由大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆制作和编辑。
Our show was produced today by Alix Spiegel.
今天我们的节目由阿利克斯·斯皮格尔制作。
The people who put together today's program include Bim Adewunmi, James Bennett II, Zoe Chase, Michael Comite, Sean Cole, Aviva DeKornfeld, Cassie Howley, Valerie Kipnis, Seth Lind, Katherine Rae Mondo, Stowe Nelson, Nadia Reiman, Alissa Shipp, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Bim Adewunmi、James Bennett II、Zoe Chase、Michael Comite、Sean Cole、Aviva DeKornfeld、Cassie Howley、Valerie Kipnis、Seth Lind、Katherine Rae Mondo、Stowe Nelson、Nadia Reiman、Alissa Shipp、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Diane Wu。
Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑是萨拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sarah Abdurrahman)。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks today to Alicia Montgomery, Paige Osburn, Susan Matthews, Elena Schwartz, Aymann Ismail, Jeffrey Bloomer, Dan Kois, and the entire Slate and What Next team, whose work you can find at slate.com.
今天特别感谢 Alicia Montgomery、Paige Osburn、Susan Matthews、Elena Schwartz、Aymann Ismail、Jeffrey Bloomer、Dan Kois 以及整个 Slate 和 What Next 团队，您可以在 slate.com 上找到他们的作品。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can stream our archive of over 800 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费地观看我们的 800 多集档案。
Also, you'll find merch.
此外，您还会找到商品。
We have the incredible Torey Mala-t-shirt.
我们有令人难以置信的 Torey Mala T 恤。
Check it out.
检查一下。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's confounder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的混杂者 Torey Malatia 先生。
He got fired from his job as an ambulance dispatcher because he was just way too chatty for the gig.
他作为一名救护车调度员被解雇了，因为他对这份工作来说太健谈了。
If it wasn't for people like you calling, people like me wouldn't have nothing to do.
如果不是你这样的人打电话，我这样的人也不会没事做。
I'd be bored as hell.
我会无聊得要命。
I am so glad you called me.
我很高兴你打电话给我。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。