787: Baby's First Christmas - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #787 | December 23, 2022 787: Baby's First Christmas Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 787 集 | 2022 年 12 月 23 日 787：宝宝的第一个圣诞节 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass Allen is not the real Santa Claus-- the guy in the North Pole.
序言： 序言 艾拉·格拉斯·艾伦并不是真正的圣诞老人——北极的那个家伙。
Obviously-- and I say this to any little kids who might be listening to me right now-- that guy in the North Pole is amazing.
显然——我对所有现在可能正在听我讲话的小孩子说——那个北极的家伙太棒了。
Allen is not that guy.
艾伦不是那样的人。
Allen's just a guy who dresses up as Santa sometimes.
艾伦只是一个有时打扮成圣诞老人的人。
Allen doesn't have Santa's flying reindeer.
艾伦没有圣诞老人的飞行驯鹿。
Allen doesn't have legions of elves backing him up.
艾伦没有大批精灵支持他。
And most of all, Allen doesn't have his years of experience.
最重要的是，艾伦没有他多年的经验。
This is my first year as Santa, my first-- oh, I'm going the wrong way.
这是我作为圣诞老人的第一年，我的第一年——哦，我走错路了。
He's driving to his very first chair gig.
他正开车去参加他的第一次主持演出。
OK.
好的。
I'm so nervous.
我好紧张。
I-- [BREATHES] I'm nervous.
我——[呼吸]我很紧张。
I'm really, really nervous.
我真的非常非常紧张。
A chair gig-- you sit in a chair, talk to kids about what they want for Christmas.
椅子演出——你坐在椅子上，和孩子们谈论他们圣诞节想要什么。
One of our producers, Aviva DeKornfeld, rode with him to this job.
我们的一位制片人 Aviva DeKornfeld 与他一起完成了这项工作。
This was in Redlands, California, an hour or so east of Los Angeles.
这是在加利福尼亚州雷德兰兹，距洛杉矶以东约一小时车程。
Allen is an earnest guy with a kind face, who-- and he would tell you this himself-- tends to overthink things a little.
艾伦是一个真诚的人，面容和善，但他——他自己会告诉你这一点——往往会想得太多。
Really, he told Aviva, he's not sure what to expect at this gig.
真的，他告诉 Aviva，他不确定在这场演出中会发生什么。
Like, what could go wrong?
比如，会出什么问题吗？
So he's just been trying to prepare for everything by making some lists, checking them twice.
所以他只是试图通过列出一些清单并检查两次来为一切做好准备。
Last night, I made checklists on my phone for all the things that I would need and all the things I would potentially need.
昨晚，我在手机上列出了我需要的所有东西和我可能需要的所有东西的清单。
I have a backup for almost everything that I wear.
我几乎为我穿的所有东西都有备份。
How come?
怎么会？
Allen Well, in case a baby spits up, I need another shirt.
艾伦 好吧，以防婴儿吐奶，我需要另一件衬衫。
If the coat gets dirty.
如果外套弄脏了。
I need another coat.
我需要另一件外套。
And I have to have extra gloves, and I've been kind of manic about trying to anticipate all the catastrophes that could happen, one way or another, and prepare for them.
我必须有额外的手套，而且我一直有点疯狂地试图以某种方式预测所有可能发生的灾难，并为它们做好准备。
He's also worried about his beard.
他还担心自己的胡子。
He's 53, so his natural beard is still mostly brown.
他已经 53 岁了，所以他的天然胡须大部分仍然是棕色的。
So I started bleaching my beard in June, and my beard started getting smaller.
所以我从六月开始漂白我的胡子，我的胡子开始变小。
The bleach was damaging it.
漂白剂正在损坏它。
He's tried some expensive hair products to stop the damage, but it's still a little shorter than he wants.
他尝试了一些昂贵的护发产品来阻止损伤，但头发仍然比他想要的要短一些。
And maybe his greatest anxiety going into this gig was the questions that the kids might ask him.
也许他对这份演出最大的焦虑是孩子们可能会问他的问题。
Would he say the right thing?
他会说正确的话吗？
There might be a child with a real problem, like their mom is gone, or somebody is incarcerated, or something like that.
可能有一个孩子遇到了真正的问题，比如他们的妈妈去世了，或者有人被监禁了，或者类似的事情。
And I can't-- I can't bring anyone back that they've lost, and I really worry about being asked about that.
我不能——我不能把任何失去的人带回来，我真的很担心被问到这个问题。
I can't bring someone home who's on a deployment somewhere.
我无法将在某处部署的人员带回家。
He frets and drives on his way to the gig, two full Santa's costumes in the bag.
他焦急地开车前往演出现场，包里装着两套圣诞老人服装。
You know, Christmas comes around every year, always the same-- with the same songs, and the same stage props, and same specials on TV.
你知道，圣诞节每年都会到来，而且总是一样的——同样的歌曲、同样的舞台道具、同样的电视特别节目。
You can get numb to it.
你可能会对此感到麻木。
It's so easy to lose the magical feeling that so many people had as kids around the holiday.
很容易失去很多人小时候在假期期间拥有的神奇感觉。
But one thing you can say about Allen-- he's not feeling numb.
但关于艾伦，你可以说一件事——他并没有感到麻木。
Just the opposite.
恰恰相反。
He is on high alert.
他处于高度戒备状态。
Not just because he wants to be a perfect Santa for these little kids.
不仅仅是因为他想成为这些小孩子的完美圣诞老人。
Mainly, he's that way because it is his first time in the chair.
主要是因为这是他第一次担任主席。
And there are all kinds of reasons that is a big deal for him, that we're going to get into in a minute or two.
有各种各样的原因对他来说很重要，我们将在一两分钟内讨论。
But my point right now is, when you're trying something for the first time, you can just taste all the potential and excitement of what it could be.
但我现在的观点是，当你第一次尝试某件事时，你可以尝到它的所有潜力和兴奋。
You feel feelings.
你感受到感情。
Which is why this Christmas, here at our show, we thought it would be nice to spend an hour with people who are not doing what they've ever done in the past at Christmas, who are not doing the same old, same old.
这就是为什么今年圣诞节，在我们的展会上，我们认为与那些没有做过去在圣诞节做过的事情的人们一起度过一个小时是件好事，他们不再做同样的事情。
We want to spend the hour with people who are trying something brand new at Christmas, because they have a shot at some deep Christmas-y feeling.
我们想与那些在圣诞节尝试全新事物的人们一起度过一个小时，因为他们有机会感受到一些深刻的圣诞节感觉。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One: Does Santa Believe in Himself?
第一幕：圣诞老人相信自己吗？
Ira Glass Act One, Does Santa Believe in Himself?
艾拉·格拉斯第一幕，圣诞老人相信自己吗？
OK, so Allen-- or maybe I should say Santa Allen-- is on his way to his first chair gig, as we said.
好的，艾伦——或者也许我应该说圣诞老人艾伦——正如我们所说，正在前往他的第一次主持演出的路上。
Producer Aviva DeKornfeld went with him to see how he would do on that gig.
制片人阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 和他一起去看看他在那场演出中表现如何。
But to understand why he is so nervous and what he hoped to get out of the gig, you kind of have to understand what the job means for him in the first place.
但要理解他为什么如此紧张以及他希望从这份工作中得到什么，你首先必须了解这份工作对他意味着什么。
And so that is where Aviva is going to start.
这就是 Aviva 的起点。
Before getting into the Santa business, Allen had a job that was sort of the opposite of being Santa.
在进入圣诞老人行业之前，艾伦从事的工作与圣诞老人有点相反。
He was a corrections officer at a state prison.
他是州立监狱的一名狱警。
He'd gotten into the work because he needed the money and stability, and stayed for over two decades.
他之所以从事这份工作是因为他需要金钱和稳定，并且一待就是二十多年。
But he hated it, and felt increasingly queasy about the whole system and his role in it.
但他讨厌它，并且对整个系统以及他在其中的角色感到越来越不安。
And then, in 2017, he got a break from it, though not under great conditions.
然后，在 2017 年，他摆脱了这种状态，尽管条件并不好。
He got really sick and ended up having to take nearly a year and a half off from work for medical leave.
他病得很重，最后不得不请了近一年半的病假。
He got depressed, stopped shaving, grew a long beard.
他变得沮丧，不再刮胡子，留起了长胡子。
One day, to cheer himself up, Allen and his wife, Erin, decided to go to a comic book convention.
有一天，为了让自己开心起来，艾伦和他的妻子艾琳决定去参加一个漫画书大会。
Because, obviously, I'm kind of a nerd and I enjoy that sort of thing.
因为，显然，我是个书呆子，而且我喜欢这类事情。
But I went there, and I wasn't really having a very good time.
但我去了那里，但我并没有过得很愉快。
And you know, I was taking a break from walking around in the convention, and I'm sitting in a little cafe.
你知道，我在大会上闲逛时正在休息，我坐在一家小咖啡馆里。
And I'm having something to drink or eating a sandwich.
我正在喝点东西或者吃三明治。
I don't really remember.
我不太记得了。
But there's this guy there and he says, hey, I like your beard.
但有一个人在那里说，嘿，我喜欢你的胡子。
And I want, oh, um, thanks.
我想要，哦，嗯，谢谢。
And he gave me this little card, and what it is, it's a recruitment card for this Fraternal Order of Real-Bearded Santas.
他给了我这张小卡片，它是什么，是这个大胡子圣诞老人兄弟会的招募卡。
Huh.
呵呵。
There's something very sort of tied to the real world about the idea of recruiting a Santa, when it feels like it should just be like, some snow falls on your shoulder or something and you become Santa.
招募圣诞老人的想法与现实世界有某种联系，感觉就像是，一些雪落在你的肩膀上或其他什么东西，你就成为了圣诞老人。
Yeah.
是的。
But no, this was just a guy sitting around at a Comic-Con.
但不，这只是一个坐在动漫展上的人。
I talked to over a dozen first-time Santas in reporting the story.
在报道这个故事时，我采访了十多个第一次当圣诞老人的人。
Nearly everyone had this in common.
几乎每个人都有这个共同点。
It was someone else who first identified them as Santa.
是其他人首先认出他们是圣诞老人。
Turns out, that is the magical snow that falls on your shoulder.
原来，那是落在你肩上的神奇雪花。
Allen shows a business card to his wife, Erin, who suggests he dress up for their godson's kids.
艾伦向妻子艾琳展示了一张名片，艾琳建议他为教子的孩子们打扮一番。
Christmas is still months away, but it might give him something to look forward to.
距离圣诞节还有几个月的时间，但这可能会给他带来一些期待。
I'm thinking, OK, well, I do have this beard now.
我在想，好吧，好吧，我现在确实有胡子了。
And I've always been definitely on the rotund side of things.
我一直都坚定地站在事物的圆的一边。
So I've got that working for me.
所以我已经得到了对我有用的东西。
And I went, well, I should quit feeling sorry for myself and maybe do something with this now.
我说，好吧，我应该停止为自己感到难过，也许现在就做点什么。
Allen figures, he'll play Santa, just this once, as a nice thing to do for his family.
艾伦想，他会扮演圣诞老人，就这一次，作为对他的家人来说的一件好事。
Since he's like a grandfather to these kids, Allen was worried they might recognize him.
由于他就像这些孩子的祖父，艾伦担心他们可能会认出他。
He bleached his beard white and asked a friend who knows how to sew to make him a red suit.
他把胡子漂白了，并请一位会缝纫的朋友给他做了一套红色西装。
But on Christmas Eve, as he's heading over to the house, he realizes he actually has no idea what to do.
但在圣诞节前夕，当他走向房子时，他意识到自己实际上不知道该怎么做。
So he just tries to imagine what a real Santa might do, then opens the door and makes an entrance.
所以他只是试着想象一个真正的圣诞老人会做什么，然后打开门进来。
Ho, ho, ho!
嗬，嗬，嗬！
Who builds a house without a chimney?
谁建造没有烟囱的房子？
And they're freaking out.
他们吓坏了。
Santa Allen Is it Christmas Eve?
圣诞老人艾伦 今天是平安夜吗？
They have no idea it's me.
他们不知道这是我。
It was the furthest thing from their mind.
这对他们来说是最遥远的事情。
Let's do this anyway!
无论如何，让我们这样做吧！
Allen I didn't have tremendous expectations going into it.
艾伦 我对此并没有抱太大期望。
And then, when I did it, it was just this tremendous rush of emotions, and that's not a thing that happens to me a lot.
然后，当我这样做的时候，只是情绪的巨大冲击，而这种事情并不经常发生在我身上。
I've been a pretty buttoned-up person most of my life.
我一生中大部分时间都是一个守口如瓶的人。
So when it was Santa for them, it became Santa for me.
因此，当对他们来说是圣诞老人时，对我来说就成了圣诞老人。
It's just one of the most powerful things I've ever felt in my life.
这是我一生中感受到的最强烈的事情之一。
When I'm him, I'm a completely different person.
当我是他时，我是一个完全不同的人。
And all my little neuroses and doubts and faults and foibles-- it's all gone.
我所有的小神经症、怀疑、缺点和缺点——都消失了。
And all the problems that Allen has-- Santa doesn't have any of those.
艾伦所面临的所有问题——圣诞老人都没有。
Allen loved this new version of himself.
艾伦喜欢这个新版本的自己。
But pretty soon, Christmas was over, and so was medical leave, which meant Allen's beard had to go.
但很快，圣诞节就结束了，病假也结束了，这意味着艾伦的胡子必须剃掉。
Because as a corrections officer, he had to be able to wear a gas mask in case a riot broke out at the prison, and you can't properly fit a gas mask over a beard.
因为作为一名狱警，他必须能够戴上防毒面具，以防监狱爆发骚乱，而你无法将防毒面具正确地戴在胡子上。
Allen couldn't afford to quit, so he grabbed his clippers and made himself shave off his beard.
艾伦无法放弃，所以他抓起剪刀，让自己刮掉了胡子。
[SIGHS] This is going to sound really weird.
[叹气]这听起来真的很奇怪。
I still have that beard in a Ziploc bag.
我仍然把那胡子放在密封袋里。
Really?
真的吗？
Allen Yeah.
艾伦 是的。
I mourned that beard.
我哀悼那胡子。
Why do you still have it?
为什么你还留着它？
Allen [SIGHS] I probably shouldn't.
艾伦 [叹气] 我可能不应该。
But it meant a lot to me.
但这对我来说意义重大。
It was the key to the door that opened that let me do this.
正是那把打开的门的钥匙让我能够做到这一点。
And when I had to shave that beard off, I was pretty unhappy about it.
当我不得不剃掉胡子时，我对此非常不满意。
I was upset.
我很沮丧。
The next year, Allen bought a fake beard to play Santa.
第二年，艾伦买了假胡子来扮演圣诞老人。
But it looked so bad, he couldn't bring himself to wear it.
但它看起来太糟糕了，他无法让自己穿上它。
So two years pass without playing Santa.
两年过去了，我们没有扮演圣诞老人。
And then, thanks in part to his wife, Erin, who was making enough money as an engineer to support them, Allen is finally able to retire.
然后，艾伦终于能够退休了，这在一定程度上要归功于他的妻子艾琳，她作为一名工程师赚了足够的钱来养活他们。
And he throws himself into becoming Santa.
他全身心投入成为圣诞老人。
The goal is to become a professional Santa-- the kind that someone might hire for, say, a private party or a parade or-- the Holy Grail of Santa engagements-- a chair gig.
我们的目标是成为一名专业的圣诞老人——有人可能会雇佣这种圣诞老人来参加私人聚会或游行，或者——圣诞老人活动的圣杯——椅子演出。
First thing-- Allen starts growing his beard back.
第一件事——艾伦开始长胡子。
Then, he signs up for Santa's school, a weekend intensive where you learn everything, from what to say to skeptical kids to how to make an entrance.
然后，他报名参加圣诞老人学校，这是一个周末强化班，在那里你可以学到一切，从对怀疑的孩子说什么到如何入学。
He meets lots of other Santas, who offer helpful tips like how to sneak in a bathroom break while staying in character.
他遇到了许多其他圣诞老人，他们提供了一些有用的建议，例如如何在保持性格的同时偷偷去洗手间。
Apparently, you're supposed to say you have to make a call to the North Pole.
显然，你应该说你必须打电话到北极。
Finding out there's this entire world you didn't know about has been a little weird.
发现还有这个你不知道的世界有点奇怪。
And sometimes you wonder how you got to this place in life.
有时你会想知道你是如何到达人生的这个阶段的。
This is a deeply weird thing for middle-aged and elderly guys to do.
对于中老年人来说，这是一件非常奇怪的事情。
But-- but it's kind of wonderful.
但是——但这有点美妙。
I mean, it's-- but it's deeply strange at the same time.
我的意思是，这是——但同时又非常奇怪。
By the time I'm talking to him, Allen's spent almost a full year preparing for the role.
当我和他交谈时，艾伦已经花了几乎一整年的时间来准备这个角色。
He's a diligent and serious student of the Santa tradition, but there's one part of it he doesn't believe in-- the naughty list.
他是圣诞老人传统的勤奋而认真的学生，但他不相信其中的一部分——淘气清单。
Surprising, maybe, given his last job.
考虑到他的上一份工作，这或许令人惊讶。
You've been bad, you're on the naughty list.
你一直很坏，你在淘气名单上。
That's no way to be.
那是不可能的。
Feels punitive.
感觉很受惩罚。
Allen Exactly.
艾伦 没错。
And that's-- I've seen punitive, and I don't think it works.
那就是——我见过惩罚性的做法，但我认为这不起作用。
So I want to be able to lift them up, rather than put them in a corner somewhere and tell them that you're this thing.
所以我希望能够把他们举起来，而不是把他们放在某个角落里并告诉他们你就是这个东西。
Being Santa lets them work on the other side of the ledger, which feels a lot better to him.
成为圣诞老人让他们在账本的另一边工作，这对他来说感觉好多了。
I tried to do that job as well as I could, but you know, it was really difficult.
我尽力尽我所能地完成这项工作，但你知道，这真的很困难。
And when you run into a lot of people that are sort of on the naughty list, and you can't do anything for them, and they can't do anything for themselves, it feels kind of hopeless.
当你遇到很多在淘气名单上的人，你不能为他们做任何事情，他们也不能为自己做任何事情时，你会感觉有点绝望。
That's a lesson I learned from my career.
这是我从职业生涯中学到的教训。
People need redemption.
人们需要救赎。
They need to be accepted back into the fold, even if they've made mistakes.
即使他们犯了错误，他们也需要被重新接纳。
You know, finding a way to forgive other people sort of gives you an opening to forgive yourself.
你知道，找到一种原谅别人的方法可以给你一个原谅自己的机会。
And there's a box of Kleenex here.
这里有一盒面巾纸。
[BLOWS NOSE]
[擤鼻涕]
Aviva DeKornfeld The day has finally arrived for Allen's first-ever chair gig.
阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 艾伦首次主持演出的日子终于到来了。
We're driving to the event, which is at an abandoned Pier 1 in an outdoor mall, about a half an hour from his house.
我们开车去参加活动，地点是一个露天购物中心废弃的 1 号码头，距离他家大约半小时车程。
We hop out of the car and meet Joanna Garcia, who hired Allen for the event.
我们下了车，见到了乔安娜·加西亚 (Joanna Garcia)，她聘请了艾伦来参加这次活动。
She lets us in through the back door of the building.
她让我们从大楼的后门进去。
There's a single clothing rack with T-shirts on it.
有一个单独的衣架，上面放着T恤。
Allen takes the shirts off, so he can use the rack to hang all the pieces of a Santa outfit.
艾伦脱下衬衫，这样他就可以用架子挂起圣诞老人服装的所有部件。
But he's so nervous, he keeps dropping stuff.
但他太紧张了，总是掉东西。
I'm kind of almost jittery.
我有点紧张。
It almost feels like I'm doing slapstick or something.
感觉就像我在闹闹什么的。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
A line forms outside while Allen changes into his costume.
艾伦换上服装时，外面排起了长队。
He's got a fur-lined red robe and matching hat and a green vest with gold buttons underneath.
他穿着一件毛皮衬里的红色长袍，戴着配套的帽子，还有一件绿色背心，里面有金色纽扣。
He's wearing big black boots and little half-moon spectacles that, I have to say, really pull the whole outfit together.
他穿着黑色大靴子，戴着半月形小眼镜，我不得不说，这真的让整套衣服融为一体。
But he still just looks like a guy in a costume.
但他看起来仍然像一个穿着戏服的人。
And then the door is open, and the kids rush in.
然后门开了，孩子们冲了进来。
[BELLS RINGING] Santa Allen Hello, everyone!
[铃声响起]圣诞老人艾伦 大家好！
Merry Christmas!
圣诞快乐！
Ho, ho!
嗬嗬！
I love your dress!
我喜欢你的衣服！
Suddenly, he's Santa.
突然间，他变成了圣诞老人。
Confident, arms stretched wide, beaming-- whatever the opposite of neurotic is, he is that.
自信、张开双臂、笑容满面——无论神经质的反面是什么，他就是这样。
Two little girls walk in and spot him, and their eyes seem to double in size, like they're seeing something truly magical.
两个小女孩走进来，发现了他，她们的眼睛似乎放大了一倍，就像看到了真正神奇的东西。
It's clear they have no idea this is his first time doing this.
显然他们不知道这是他第一次这样做。
To them, he's Santa.
对他们来说，他是圣诞老人。
OK!
好的！
Are we ready, everybody?
大家准备好了吗？
Child Yeah.
孩子 是啊。
The day begins.
这一天开始了。
Santa Allen Do you know what you want for Christmas, sweetheart?
圣诞老人艾伦 你知道圣诞节想要什么吗，亲爱的？
Monster trucks.
怪物卡车。
Santa Allen Monster trucks?
圣艾伦怪物卡车？
I love monster trucks!
我喜欢怪物卡车！
[ROARS]
[咆哮]
As you can hear, he's got his kid voice on.
正如你所听到的，他用童声说话。
And I don't know what I expected, exactly, but this job requires just so much pep.
我不知道我到底期望什么，但这份工作需要太多的动力。
Santa Allen is tap-dancing as fast as he can--
圣艾伦正在以最快的速度跳踢踏舞——
(SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
（唱歌）叮叮当，叮叮当，一路叮叮当。
--so the photographer, Sam, can snap a good picture for the parents.
——这样摄影师 Sam 就可以为父母拍一张好照片。
(SINGING) Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol, paw, paw, paw, paw, paw, paw, paw, Paw Patrol!
（唱歌）狗狗巡逻队，狗狗巡逻队，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子，爪子巡逻队！
Watching Santa Allen, I thought about this thing another Santa-- a pastor named Santa Don-- told me.
看着圣诞老人艾伦，我想到了另一位圣诞老人——一位名叫圣诞老人唐的牧师——告诉我的事情。
Santa Don said that back when he was in graduate school for psychology, on his first day of class, his professor asked, how many of you have people who are already coming to you for counseling?
圣唐说，当他在心理学研究生院时，在上课的第一天，他的教授问，你们中有多少人已经来找你们咨询了？
Don and a few other students raise their hands.
唐和其他一些学生举起了手。
Then the professor goes, I'm going to be honest with you.
然后教授就走了，我要对你说实话。
If people aren't already coming to you, getting a degree from here probably won't change that.
如果人们还没有来找你，从这里获得学位可能不会改变这一点。
You're either the kind of person people want to confide in, or you're not.
你要么是人们想要倾诉的人，要么不是。
Don thinks that the same is true for Santa.
唐认为圣诞老人也是如此。
There's some innate Santa essence, some Santa vibe, that you either have or you don't.
有一些与生俱来的圣诞老人本质，一些圣诞老人的氛围，你要么有，要么没有。
And here, on his first chair gig, Santa Allen seemed to have it, though it didn't always go so smoothly with every kid.
在这里，在他的第一次椅子演出中，圣·艾伦似乎拥有了它，尽管并非每个孩子都总是那么顺利。
[CHILD CRYING] Santa Allen (SINGING) Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus--
[孩子哭]圣诞老人艾伦（唱歌）圣诞老人来了，圣诞老人来了，圣诞老人来了——
[BABY CRYING] Santa Allen Oh!
[婴儿哭声]圣诞老人艾伦哦！
I'm so sorry!
我很抱歉！
We'll get you next year!
明年我们就来接你！
I'll see you on Christmas Eve, my friend.
圣诞节前夕我会见到你，我的朋友。
Sometimes kids asked Santa Allen for things that threw him for a loop, like the boy who said he wanted trouble for Christmas, or the girl who just wanted socks.
有时孩子们会向圣诞老人艾伦询问一些让他大吃一惊的事情，比如男孩说他想要圣诞节惹麻烦，或者女孩只是想要袜子。
But, like, character socks, right?
但是，就像角色袜子一样，对吧？
Good socks?
好袜子吗？
No?
不？
Just regular sock socks?
只是普通的袜子吗？
OK, that's good.
好的，很好。
One little girl wanted two hamsters, but as she asked for them, her parents stood behind her with wide eyes, vigorously shaking their heads, no. Of course, there were some awkward moments, like when Santa Allen accidentally mistaked a boy with long hair for a girl.
一个小女孩想要两只仓鼠，但当她开口要的时候，她的父母却站在她身后，睁大眼睛，使劲摇头，“不”。当然，也有一些尴尬的时刻，比如桑塔·艾伦不小心把一个长发男孩误认为是女孩。
And this kid, who looked like a tiny adult, and who is not having it with Santa Allen's questions--
这个孩子，看起来像个小大人，对圣艾伦的问题不感兴趣——
I have animals.
我有动物。
Do you know what kind of animals I have?
你知道我养的是什么动物吗？
Uh, the pretend kind.
呃，假装的那种。
Santa Allen No, the real reindeer.
圣诞老人艾伦 不，真正的驯鹿。
They have antlers like this.
他们有这样的鹿角。
Have you seen Rudolph?
你见过鲁道夫吗？
Have you seen his nose?
你看到他的鼻子了吗？
Yeah it lights up, and it's red.
是的，它亮了，而且是红色的。
Are you going to school right now?
你现在去学校吗？
I'm barely four.
我还不到四岁。
Santa Allen Oh, some people go to school when they're four.
Santa Allen 哦，有些人四岁就去上学。
Santa Allen had imagined fielding all these big, hard questions from kids.
圣·艾伦曾设想回答孩子们提出的所有这些重大而棘手的问题。
But in practice, the real work of imitating Santa is more like working in a factory line, a quick back-and-forth, snap a picture, then onto the next.
但实际上，模仿圣诞老人的真正工作更像是在工厂生产线上工作，快速来回，拍一张照片，然后再拍下一张。
The hardest question he ended up getting was about Mrs. Claus.
他最终得到的最难的问题是关于克劳斯夫人的。
I was going to ask you-- Santa Allen OK.
我本来想问你——圣诞老人艾伦，好吧。
--if you can ask Mrs. Claus if she actually does bake cookies.
--如果你可以问克劳斯太太她是否真的烤饼干。
So like, if she does, can she send me one?
那么，如果她愿意的话，她能给我寄一份吗？
I don't-- she doesn't-- she just mostly makes them for the North Pole, but we'll ask.
我不知道——她也不知道——她只是为北极制造它们，但我们会问。
And she is important.
她很重要。
She is the CEO of the North Pole.
她是北极公司的首席执行官。
Mrs. Claus is actually my boss.
克劳斯夫人实际上是我的老板。
Allen wanted to yes-and the little girl, but didn't want to promise cookies and set her up to be disappointed on Christmas Day.
艾伦想答应——还有小女孩，但不想答应给她饼干，让她在圣诞节那天感到失望。
So instead, he pivoted to a feminist message.
因此，他转而转向女权主义信息。
He later told me, he wants to update the image of Mrs. Claus for kids, especially for girls.
他后来告诉我，他想为孩子们，尤其是女孩们更新克劳斯夫人的形象。
He doesn't like the idea that she just bakes cookies and putters around the North Pole all day.
他不喜欢她整天在北极周围烤饼干和推杆。
At 1:00 PM, the doors are closed.
下午 1:00，门已关闭。
Santa Allen's been there for two hours, talked to over 100 kids.
Santa Allen 已经在那里待了两个小时，与 100 多个孩子进行了交谈。
He changes out of his costume and into what's referred to as "Santa casual" -- red clothing, but not the whole shebang.
他脱下服装，换上所谓的“圣诞老人休闲装”——红色衣服，但不是整个服装。
Christmas Lite.
圣诞节精简版。
He packs up, and we get in the car.
他收拾好东西，我们就上了车。
We're about to drive back to his house, when Allen realizes he's left his backpack inside the store.
我们正要开车回他家，艾伦意识到他把背包落在商店里了。
This is a problem for him, because he really doesn't want to go back and get it and have people see him when he's not in the full Santa costume.
这对他来说是一个问题，因为他真的不想回去拿它并让人们在他没有穿着全套圣诞老人服装时看到他。
But as we're walking back to the Pier 1, a guy in a car notices Allen.
但当我们走回一号码头时，车里的一个人注意到了艾伦。
Santa?
圣诞老人？
Aviva DeKornfeld Allen puts his finger up to his lips, as if to say, shh!
阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德·艾伦将手指放在嘴唇上，好像在说，嘘！
(LAUGHING) OK.
（笑）好的。
Aviva DeKornfeld I won't say nothing, the guy says.
Aviva DeKornfeld：我不会说什么，那家伙说。
Then, we're standing in front of the store, waiting to be let back in, when a girl in the backseat of a car driving by yells, Santa!
然后，我们站在商店门前，等待被放回去，这时一辆汽车后座上的一个女孩开过，喊道：圣诞老人！
Oh, jeez.
哦，天哪。
I kind of don't want to ruin the image for anybody.
我有点不想破坏任何人的形象。
Allen tries to tuck himself into the corner of the building by the door to hide from people, but it doesn't work.
艾伦试图把自己藏到大楼靠门的角落里以躲避人们，但没有成功。
At all.
完全没有。
Everyone who passes by double-takes him or yells at him.
每个路过的人都会对他多看一眼，或者对他大喊大叫。
Allen looks miserable.
艾伦看起来很痛苦。
Aviva DeKornfeld It's funny, you've transformed back into Allen.
Aviva DeKornfeld 很有趣，你又变回艾伦了。
I know.
我知道。
Aviva DeKornfeld Without the robe.
阿维娃·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 不穿长袍。
I know.
我知道。
You love watching me squirm like this.
你喜欢看我这样蠕动。
No!
不！
I don't.
我不知道。
But I'm struck by the transformation.
但我对这种转变感到震惊。
Yeah.
是的。
Aviva DeKornfeld How different you are.
阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德 (Aviva DeKornfeld) 你是多么与众不同。
I guess I'm back to being Clark Kent or something.
我想我又回到了克拉克·肯特什么的。
I don't know.
我不知道。
You're literally cowering in a corner.
你实际上是蜷缩在一个角落里。
This is not the man I saw 30 minutes ago.
这不是我三十分钟前看到的那个人。
I'm-- I'm not him.
我——我不是他。
I'm me.
我就是我。
Aviva DeKornfeld Allen did not plan on ending his first chair gig glued to the side of a Pier 1.
阿维瓦·德科恩菲尔德·艾伦 (Aviva DeKornfeld Allen) 并不打算结束他在 1 号码头一侧的第一张椅子演出。
But there is a part of him, he tells me later, that's relieved to be himself again.
但他后来告诉我，他内心有一部分因为再次做回自己而感到欣慰。
All that cheeriness, being so enthusiastically on-- it's exhausting being Santa.
所有这些欢乐，如此热情——作为圣诞老人真是太累了。
Aviva DeKornfeld is one of the producers of our show.
Aviva DeKornfeld 是我们节目的制作人之一。
Act Two, Jews for Jesus, for Just One Day.
第二幕，犹太人为耶稣，只为了这一天。
For Alex Edelman, it's easy to remember his first Christmas, because it was his only Christmas.
对于亚历克斯·埃德尔曼（Alex Edelman）来说，很容易记住他的第一个圣诞节，因为这是他唯一的圣诞节。
He was raised as an Orthodox Jew.
他是作为正统犹太人长大的。
And he says his family was very Jewish, casually dropped Hebrew around the house.
他说他的家人是非常犹太人的，在家里随意地讲希伯来语。
He and his brother, AJ, called their parents Eema and Abba for Mom and Dad.
他和他的兄弟 AJ 称他们的父母为“妈妈”和“爸爸”为“伊玛”和“阿爸”。
He's a comedian and tells this story about how they were so Jewish and so surrounded by Jews, he didn't even know he was Jewish for a while.
他是一位喜剧演员，讲述了这个故事，讲述了他们如何如此犹太人，如此被犹太人包围，他甚至有一段时间不知道自己是犹太人。
And I remember the first time I was aware of being Jewish.
我还记得我第一次意识到自己是犹太人的情景。
I was at a children's birthday party at a Chuck E.
我当时正在 Chuck E 餐厅参加一个孩子们的生日聚会。
Cheese, and I reached for a slice of pizza that had some sausage on it or some pepperoni-- something not kosher.
奶酪，我伸手拿了一片披萨，上面有一些香肠或一些意大利辣香肠——一些不符合犹太洁食的东西。
And my grandfather saw me reaching, and he kicked my hand away.
我的祖父看到我伸手，他把我的手踢开了。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Kicked.
[观众笑声]被踢了。
And he went, you can't have that!
他走了，你不能这样！
We're Jewish!
我们是犹太人！
And I said, what does that mean?
我说，这是什么意思？
And with a totally straight face, he just went, it means you'll never be happy.
他板着脸就走了，这意味着你永远不会幸福。
And I went, Papa!
我去了，爸爸！
I don't want to be Jewish!
我不想成为犹太人！
And then, my grandfather laughed at me and went, ha-ha!
然后爷爷就笑我走了，哈哈！
Chief, that's the most Jewish thing there is!
酋长，这是最犹太化的事情！
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] Ira Glass When Alex and his brother, AJ, were little, they attended yeshiva, Jewish day school.
[观众笑声] Ira Glass 当亚历克斯和他的兄弟 AJ 还小的时候，他们就读于犹太走读学校 yeshiva。
So like I say, their whole world was people who never celebrated or talked about Christmas.
所以就像我说的，他们的整个世界都是从不庆祝或谈论圣诞节的人。
But in the show Alex has been touring, he talks about this one December when he was six and AJ was four.
但在 Alex 巡回演出的演出中，他在 12 月谈到了这件事，当时他六岁，AJ 四岁。
He mentions, by the way, a family friend in the story.
顺便说一句，他在故事中提到了一位家庭朋友。
And he changed her name when he tells the story on stage.
当他在舞台上讲述这个故事时，他改变了她的名字。
Here's Alex.
这是亚历克斯。
Alex Edelman All of the best Jewish moments of my life are moments where Jewish values presented themselves in, like, unconventional places.
亚历克斯·埃德尔曼（Alex Edelman） 我一生中所有最美好的犹太时刻都是犹太价值观在非传统的地方展现出来的时刻。
Like, once, when I was a kid, my family had Christmas.
就像有一次，当我还是个孩子的时候，我的家人过圣诞节。
My mom had this friend named Kelly.
我妈妈有一个朋友，名叫凯利。
And Kelly had lost her siblings, like, in years previous, and her parents weren't in the picture.
凯莉失去了她的兄弟姐妹，就像几年前一样，她的父母也不在照片中。
She was alone in Boston, and my mom noticed that she would get sad around the holidays.
她独自一人在波士顿，我妈妈注意到她在假期期间会感到难过。
And this was a really good friend, and so my mom said, hey, Kelly, why don't you come to our house for Christmas?
这是一个非常好的朋友，所以我妈妈说，嘿，凯利，你为什么不来我们家过圣诞节呢？
That's the kind of person my mom was.
我妈妈就是这样的人。
My father did not want that.
我父亲不想这样。
My mom is a Jew from Cincinnati.
我妈妈是来自辛辛那提的犹太人。
She's a Midwestern Jew.
她是中西部犹太人。
It's a slightly gentler existence.
是一种稍微温柔一些的存在。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] My father grew up Jewish in Boston, like me.
[观众笑声] 我父亲和我一样，都是在波士顿长大的犹太人。
But Dad grew up Jewish in Boston in a time when it's actually really hard to be Jewish there, which is between the years 1500 and 1994.
但爸爸在波士顿长大，是个犹太人，当时在 1500 年到 1994 年间，在那里做犹太人实际上非常困难。
He's like, Cheryl, I will not have Christmas in a Jewish home!
他说，谢丽尔，我不会在犹太人家里过圣诞节！
And she's like, Elazer, we're having Christmas.
她说，Elazer，我们要过圣诞节了。
And he's like, over my dead body are we having Christmas!
他说，我们在我的尸体上过圣诞节！
So they compromised, and we had Christmas.
所以他们妥协了，我们就过了圣诞节。
AJ and I come downstairs one day.
有一天，AJ 和我下楼。
My parents are sitting in the living room.
我的父母坐在客厅里。
I don't know if anyone else grew up in a home like this.
不知道有没有人是在这样的家庭长大的。
We were never allowed, as children, in the living room, never.
当我们还是孩子的时候，我们从来不被允许进入客厅，从来没有。
The living room was for guests and tragedy.
客厅是为客人准备的，悲剧了。
So those are the only times we were allowed.
所以这是我们唯一被允许的时间。
And everything in the living room was covered with, like, a thick plastic sheet, in case, like, the real owners of the home showed up one day.
客厅里的所有东西都覆盖着一层厚厚的塑料布，以防有一天真正的主人出现。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] We come downstairs.
[观众笑声]我们下楼了。
My parents are in the living room.
我的父母在客厅。
No guests.
没有客人。
And AJ and I look at each other like, oh, no, Bubbe died again.
AJ 和我互相看着对方，好像在说，哦，不，巴布又死了。
(LAUGHING) And we walk in, and we sit down on the forbidden couch.
（笑）我们走进去，坐在禁止的沙发上。
And my mom just went, boys, this year, we're going to have Christmas.
我妈妈刚刚走了，孩子们，今年我们要过圣诞节了。
And this is how young and insulated we were.
这就是我们多么年轻和孤立。
AJ and I looked at each other, and we looked at my parents, and I just went, "What's Christmas?"
AJ 和我互相看了看，又看了看我的父母，然后我就问：“圣诞节是什么？”
And my father went-- [SIGHS] "It's like Hanukkah." And my mom undermined him immediately and went, "Yeah but, maybe even a little bit more fun!" Hanukkah sucks!
我父亲走了——[叹气]“这就像光明节。”我妈妈立即贬低了他，说道：“是的，但是，也许更有趣一点！”光明节真糟糕！
I appreciate the new politically correct world that everybody lives in.
我很欣赏每个人所生活的政治正确的新世界。
We all pretend that all the holidays are equal.
我们都假装所有的假期都是平等的。
They are not equal.
他们不平等。
Everybody knows it.
每个人都知道。
Hanukkah is very much the Diet Coke to Christmas' black tar heroin.
光明节就像是圣诞节的黑焦油海洛因的健怡可乐。
There is no comparison.
没有可比性。
There is no comparison.
没有可比性。
And you never know when Hanukkah is, because the calendars-- sometimes it's in early December.
你永远不知道光明节是什么时候，因为日历——有时是在十二月初。
Sometimes it's in, like, late July.
有时是在七月下旬。
You never [BLEEP] know.
你永远不会[哔]知道。
But my non-Jewish friends are always like, well, you guys are lucky.
但我的非犹太朋友总是说，好吧，你们很幸运。
You get eight days of gifts.
您将获得八天的礼物。
I have never met a single Jew who has ever received eight days of gifts.
我从来没有见过一个犹太人曾收到过八天的礼物。
Here's how it works.
这是它的工作原理。
You get one gift over the course of the eight days.
您在八天内会收到一份礼物。
If you're getting a bike, you get, like, a pedal on the first day, the handlebars the second day, and the wheel on the third day.
如果你要买一辆自行车，你会在第一天得到踏板，第二天得到车把，第三天得到车轮。
It is absolute bull-[BLEEP].
这绝对是公牛-[BLEEP]。
Anyway.
反正。
We do Christmas, and oh my god, do we do Christmas.
我们过圣诞节，天哪，我们过圣诞节吗？
We do the lights.
我们做灯。
We do the stockings and glitter.
我们做丝袜和闪光。
We went whole hog-- no hog.
我们全力以赴——不。
Kosher Christmas dinner.
犹太洁食圣诞晚餐。
But we deck these goddamn halls.
但我们装饰这些该死的大厅。
Deck.
甲板。
And Kelly comes into our house, and Kelly-- white, WASP, like Princess Diana haircut, chunky gold earrings, Hermes scarf, shocking blue pantsuit-- white.
凯莉走进我们家，凯莉——白色，WASP，像戴安娜王妃的发型，厚实的金耳环，爱马仕围巾，令人震惊的蓝色裤装——白色。
But she walks into her house like a little kid.
但她像个小孩子一样走进她的房子。
And she starts to cry immediately.
她立即开始哭泣。
And my mom just went, boys, whatever Kelly wants to do, we're going to do.
我妈妈就走了，孩子们，无论凯利想做什么，我们都会做。
And we did all this deep-cuts Christmas stuff.
我们做了所有这些深入的圣诞节事情。
Like, we strung popcorn together on a string.
就像，我们把爆米花串在一根绳子上。
We ate our way through the entire chocolate advent calendar in, like, 25 minutes.
我们大约用了 25 分钟就吃完了整个巧克力降临节日历。
And we watched Christmas movies.
我们还看了圣诞电影。
Please try to imagine being a young Jew who has never seen a single Christmas movie.
请尝试想象一下，作为一个从未看过圣诞电影的年轻犹太人。
And then one day, you watch, like, seven of them in a row.
然后有一天，你连续观看了七个。
AJ and I are like, what is this!
AJ 和我就想，这是什么！
And the one that sticks out is the Peanuts Christmas special.
其中最引人注目的是花生圣诞特别节目。
Snoopy, Charlie Brown-- AJ and I are, like, pressed up against screen.
史努比、查理·布朗——AJ 和我就像被压在屏幕上一样。
We're, like, vibrating with joy, and it's like, the meaning of Christmas, Snoopy!
我们就像在喜悦中颤抖，这就像圣诞节的意义，史努比！
I'm like, the spirit of Christmas, Charlie Brown!
我就像圣诞节的精神，查理·布朗！
My dad's in the corner, like, praying for lightning.
我爸爸就在角落里祈祷闪电。
And, like--
而且，就像——
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] At some point, Kelly, crying, walks over to us, and she's like, boys, we need to put out cookies for Santa Claus, don't we?
[观众笑声] 在某个时刻，凯莉哭着向我们走来，她说，孩子们，我们需要为圣诞老人准备饼干，不是吗？
And AJ and I are like, uh-huh!
AJ 和我的反应是，嗯！
And we look at my dad, who's already covering his face, and I just went, "Aba!
我们看着我爸爸，他已经捂住了脸，我就说：“阿爸！
Who's Santa Claus?"
圣诞老人是谁？”
And my father rarely cursed in front of us.
而且父亲很少在我们面前骂人。
And my mother says she doesn't think this happened, but I remember so clearly-- and maybe he thought we couldn't hear him.
我母亲说她不认为这件事发生过，但我记得很清楚——也许他认为我们听不到他的声音。
My father looked at my mom, and he went, "Cheryl!
我父亲看着我妈妈，说道：“谢丽尔！
Jesus [BLEEP] Christ!"
天哪[哔]基督啊！”
And my mom went, "Elazer!" And he went, "Come on!" And she went, "Do it!"
我妈妈说：“埃拉泽！”他说：“来吧！”她说：“做吧！”
My father walked up to us, and he went, "Santa Claus, boys-- he is a fat man.
我父亲走到我们面前，说道：“圣诞老人，孩子们——他是个胖子。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And he comes down non-Jewish chimneys in the middle of the night, and he gives gifts to young gentiles."
[观众笑声]他在半夜从非犹太烟囱下来，给年轻的外邦人送礼物。”
And he said, "He's like Elijah.
他说：“他就像以利亚。
But instead of drinking your wine, he eats cookies and leaves you gifts." If you don't know who Elijah is, on Passover, the Jewish holiday, in my house, here's what will happen.
但他没有喝你的酒，而是吃饼干并给你留下礼物。”如果你不知道以利亚是谁，在犹太节日逾越节，在我家，将会发生以下情况。
Your uncle will open the door for Elijah.
你叔叔将为以利亚开门。
And then, one of the other uncles under the table will start kicking the table.
然后，桌子下面的另一个叔叔就会开始踢桌子。
When the wine cup shakes, they'll go, look, he's drinking!
当酒杯摇晃时，他们就会走，看，他在喝酒！
He's drinking!
他在喝酒！
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And AJ and I look at each other.
[观众笑声] AJ 和我互相看着对方。
And we look at my dad.
我们看着我的父亲。
And AJ just went, "B'emet?" Which means, "For real?" And my father looked at my mom, and he looked at us, and he went, "Yeah, of course he's real."
AJ 就问道：“B'emet？”这意味着“真的吗？”我父亲看着我妈妈，又看着我们，然后说道：“是的，他当然是真实的。”
We put out cookies for Santa Claus.
我们为圣诞老人准备了饼干。
I remember every little detail, little table, red tablecloth, Power Rangers plate, three chocolate chip cookies.
我记得每一个小细节，小桌子，红色桌布，恐龙战队盘子，三块巧克力饼干。
We're very skeptical, obviously.
显然，我们非常怀疑。
We go upstairs.
我们上楼。
We go to bed.
我们去睡觉了。
We come downstairs the next morning.
第二天早上我们下楼。
The cookies are gone!
饼干不见了！
They're gone!
他们走了！
And AJ and I see this, and we black out completely.
AJ 和我看到了这一点，我们完全昏了过去。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] We, like, lose consciousness.
[观众笑声] 我们就像失去了知觉。
But I know what's happened, because I saw home videos a couple of years ago, and on them, we're like, oh, my god!
但我知道发生了什么，因为几年前我看过家庭视频，在上面，我们就像，哦，天哪！
Oh, my god!
我的天啊！
He was here!
他来了！
He was here!
他来了！
And at some point, AJ is standing on the couch, and he looked at me, and he just went, "Santa came!" And I went, "Baruch HaShem!"
在某个时刻，AJ 站在沙发上，他看着我，然后说道：“圣诞老人来了！”我说：“Baruch HaShem！”
And we ran out to the garage.
我们跑到车库。
Why?
为什么？
This is the one concession my father got from my mom.
这是我父亲从我母亲那里得到的唯一让步。
He's like, Cheryl, I will not have a Christmas tree in a Jewish home.
他说，谢丽尔，我不会在犹太人家里有一棵圣诞树。
And she's like, I can respect that, Elazer.
她说，我可以尊重这一点，埃拉泽。
We'll put it in the garage.
我们会把它放在车库里。
And there are two photos of this.
还有两张照片。
They're the weirdest photos.
它们是最奇怪的照片。
We're wearing jackets, because we're in a Boston garage in December.
我们穿着夹克，因为十二月我们在波士顿的车库里。
We're wearing pajamas, because we're children.
我们穿着睡衣，因为我们还是孩子。
And we're wearing yarmulkes, because we're Jews.
我们戴着圆顶小帽，因为我们是犹太人。
But we're standing in front of a fully-decorated Christmas tree with a teddy bear on the top, holding a dreidel and wearing a yarmulke!
但我们正站在一棵装饰精美的圣诞树前，树顶上有一只泰迪熊，手里拿着陀螺，戴着圆顶小帽！
And we go to yeshiva that day, because Jewish day school, if you can believe it-- not canceled for Christmas.
那天我们去犹太学校，因为犹太走读学校，如果你相信的话——圣诞节并没有取消。
And we come home that night, and my father gets a phone call.
那天晚上我们回到家，我父亲接到了电话。
It's exactly what you think.
这正是你的想法。
And he picks it up.
他把它捡了起来。
And the first thing the principal says to him is, Professor Edelman!
校长对他说的第一句话是，埃德尔曼教授！
Your sons have a lying problem!
你的儿子有说谎的毛病！
My father said, what did they do?
父亲说，他们做了什么？
And the principal said, well, the teacher tried to explain to the children the very delicate topic of Christmas.
校长说，好吧，老师试图向孩子们解释圣诞节这个非常微妙的话题。
And Alex raised his hand, and he said, we had Christmas.
亚历克斯举起了手，他说，我们过圣诞节了。
And the teacher said, you didn't have Christmas.
老师说，你没有过圣诞节。
And he said, hmm, I'm pretty sure we had Christmas.
他说，嗯，我很确定我们已经过了圣诞节。
Lights, stockings, Snoopy, Charlie Brown, meaning of Christmas--
灯、丝袜、史努比、查理布朗，圣诞节的意义——
And the teacher's like, you didn't have Christmas.
老师说，你没有过圣诞节。
You had Hanukkah, three weeks ago or nine months from now, depending on the year.
你会在三周前或九个月后度过光明节，具体取决于年份。
Anyway, non-Jews believe in this guy, called Santa Claus.
不管怎样，非犹太人相信这个人，叫圣诞老人。
And in my mind's eye, I remember AJ raising his hand and saying, we had Santa Claus.
在我的脑海里，我记得 AJ 举起手说，我们有圣诞老人。
That's what I remember.
这就是我所记得的。
But there are conflicting accounts here.
但这里存在相互矛盾的说法。
Apparently, AJ didn't raise his hand.
显然，AJ没有举手。
Apparently, AJ, in the words of the teacher, lifted two fingers, like he was ordering a second Martini.
显然，用老师的话来说，AJ举起了两根手指，就像他在点第二杯马提尼一样。
And AJ didn't say, we had Santa Claus.
AJ 没有说，我们有圣诞老人。
Apparently, AJ just went, we know Santa Claus.
显然，AJ 刚刚走了，我们就认识圣诞老人了。
[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] And the teacher's like, you don't know Santa Claus, AJ!
[观众笑声] 老师说，你不认识圣诞老人，AJ！
And AJ's like, mmm, pretty sure I know Santa Claus.
AJ 说，嗯，我很确定我认识圣诞老人。
And the other kids are like, who's Santa Claus?
其他孩子会问，谁是圣诞老人？
AJ's like, oh!
AJ 就像，哦！
He's amazing!
他太棒了！
He's a fat man, and he comes down non-Jewish chimneys in the middle of the night, and he gives gifts to the young gentiles.
他是个胖子，半夜从非犹太烟囱下来，给年轻的外邦人送礼物。
He's like Elijah, but instead of wine, there's cookies and gifts.
他就像以利亚，但没有酒，而是饼干和礼物。
But last night, because he's friends with our dad--
但昨晚，因为他是我们爸爸的朋友——
--he came down our chimney, and he left this Walkman underneath the tree that my parents put in the garage, and he ate all of the cookies!
——他从我们的烟囱下来，把随身听放在我父母放在车库里的树下，然后他吃掉了所有的饼干！
The principal said, Professor Edelman, is this true?
校长说，埃德尔曼教授，这是真的吗？
And apparently, my father just went, no. It's not entirely true.
显然，我父亲只是走了，不。这并不完全正确。
And the principal said, what do you mean it's not entirely true?
校长说，你说这不完全正确是什么意思？
And my father said, Cheryl and I ate the cookies.
我父亲说，谢丽尔和我吃了饼干。
AJ's wrong.
阿杰错了。
Santa didn't come to our house.
圣诞老人没有来我们家。
And my mom says there was a significant pause on the other end of the phone.
我妈妈说电话那头有明显的停顿。
And then, the principal went, I know Santa didn't come to your house!
然后，校长说，我知道圣诞老人没有来你家！
Yet, Christmas?
然而，圣诞节？
My father explained.
我父亲解释道。
He explained that Kelly was bereft and that she had nowhere to go, and that he had reservations about this.
他解释说，凯利失去了亲人，无处可去，他对此持保留态度。
But he let it happen, because he thought it was actually a really valuable, teachable moment, where you could explain to his children that doing the thing centered in Jewish values may not always appear conventionally Jewish.
但他让它发生了，因为他认为这实际上是一个非常有价值的、值得教育的时刻，你可以向他的孩子们解释，做以犹太价值观为中心的事情可能并不总是看起来像传统的犹太人。
And more than anything else, doing this for this woman, who really had nowhere to go, really-- it was a classic example of what Jews would traditionally call mitzvah, which means good deed.
最重要的是，为这个真的无处可去的女人做这件事，真的——这是犹太人传统上所说的“mitzvah”的典型例子，这意味着做好事。
Principal listens, Dad explains.
校长听着，爸爸解释道。
My dad finishes.
我爸说完了。
The principal said, Professor Edelman, I understand where you're coming from, but you're wrong.
校长说，埃德尔曼教授，我明白你的想法，但你错了。
Because what you've actually done is you've introduced this holiday that is foreign and corrosive into your home.
因为你实际上所做的是将这个陌生且具有腐蚀性的假期引入你的家。
And you've clearly confused your children, and perhaps harmed them permanently.
你显然已经让你的孩子感到困惑，甚至可能永久地伤害了他们。
Well, you've given them this holiday, and next year, you're going to take it away from them.
好吧，你给了他们这个假期，明年你就会把这个假期从他们身上夺走。
So what's that going to do?
那么那会做什么呢？
This isn't a good deed.
这可不是什么好事。
This isn't a mitzvah.
这不是成人礼。
It's idol worship, which is the most grievous sin that a Jew can possibly commit.
这是偶像崇拜，这是犹太人可能犯下的最严重的罪行。
And you and your wife need to begin repenting for that right now.
你和你的妻子现在需要开始为此悔改。
And my father, to his credit, went-- well, clearly, rabbi, you don't understand the meaning of Christmas.
值得赞扬的是，我的父亲去了——好吧，显然，拉比，你不明白圣诞节的意义。
And then, he hung up the phone.
然后，他就挂了电话。
Alex Edelman, with an excerpt of his one-man show, Just For Us, has taken the show to London in January.
亚历克斯·埃德尔曼 (Alex Edelman) 带着他的独角秀《Just For Us》的节选，于一月份在伦敦举办了该节目。
To find out when he's bringing the show to your city, go to AlexEdelmancomedy.com.
要了解他何时将这部剧带到您所在的城市，请访问 AlexEdelmancomedy.com。
The radio excerpt of his story was produced for our show by Aviva DeKornfeld.
他的故事的广播摘录是由 Aviva DeKornfeld 为我们的节目制作的。
Coming up-- the hottest, sexiest parts of It's a Wonderful Life, and other revelations about a very old film from a first-time viewer.
即将推出——《生活多美好》中最热门、最性感的部分，以及首次观看者对一部非常老的电影的其他揭露。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program-- Baby's First Christmas.
今天的节目——宝宝的第一个圣诞节。
Stories of people trying something for the very first time at Christmas, and what that does for them.
人们在圣诞节第一次尝试某件事的故事，以及这对他们有什么影响。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show, Act Three, Buffalo Gals, Can't You Come Out Tonight?
我们已经到了节目的第三幕，第三幕，布法罗女孩，你今晚不能出来吗？
So in this story, the new experience that somebody is having at Christmas is simple.
所以在这个故事中，某人在圣诞节所经历的新体验很简单。
We have a grown man, a man who loves films-- classic films, obscure films, new films, all kinds of films-- and he's seen tons of them-- who, somehow, has never seen the most pervasive movie that's out there at Christmas-- It's a Wonderful Life.
我们有一个成年人，一个热爱电影的人——经典电影、冷门电影、新电影、各种各样的电影——他看过很多电影——但不知何故，他从未看过圣诞节上映的最流行的电影——《生活多美好》。
That man-- somebody who's been on the show a bunch, one of our former producers, Neil Drumming.
那个人——一个经常出现在这个节目中的人，我们的前制片人之一，尼尔·德鲁明（Neil Drumming）。
Our executive editor, Emanuele Berry, is, in real life, friends with Neil, and took it upon herself to change his life forever, or possibly not at all, and show him the film.
我们的执行编辑埃马努埃莱·贝里（Emanuele Berry）在现实生活中是尼尔的朋友，她决心永远改变他的生活，或者可能根本改变不了他的生活，并向他展示了这部电影。
I've watched a lot of movies with Neil.
我和尼尔一起看了很多电影。
It's fun, because he gets so giddy and excited about showing you a movie you haven't seen.
这很有趣，因为他会因为给你看一部你没看过的电影而感到头晕和兴奋。
You always know you're going to have a thoughtful conversation afterwards.
你总是知道之后你们会进行一次深思熟虑的谈话。
But I also sometimes hate it-- like when he recites all the dialogue in Dazed and Confused while you're trying to watch it.
但有时我也讨厌这样——就像当你试图观看《年少轻狂》时，他背诵所有对话。
So how'd he miss this movie that's been on television every year since he was born?
那么他怎么会错过这部自他出生以来每年都会在电视上播出的电影呢？
I really-- I feel like the Christmas movies that I love are the movies with Christmas in the background, like all British movies.
我真的——我觉得我喜欢的圣诞电影都是以圣诞节为背景的电影，就像所有英国电影一样。
But, like, Love Actually, or Die Hard, or like-- movies with Christmas in that background, Christmas in the foreground-- like, I've never seen the one with the little kid with the glasses?
但是，就像《真爱至上》或《虎胆龙威》，或者类似的电影，以圣诞节为背景，以圣诞节为前景，就像，我从来没有看过那个带着戴眼镜的小孩的电影？
Yeah.
是的。
But, like, the movies that are just Christmas-- I just didn't have an inclination to see them.
但是，就像圣诞节的电影一样——我只是没有兴趣看它们。
I think it's because Christmas, for me, was always in the background.
我想这是因为圣诞节对我来说总是处于背景之中。
Like, I was a Jehovah's Witness, so Christmas was like a thing that happened around me.
就像，我是耶和华见证人，所以圣诞节就像发生在我周围的事情。
No Christmas tree, no Christmas carols, no Christmas movies.
没有圣诞树，没有圣诞颂歌，没有圣诞电影。
Given that--
鉴于——
what is your favorite Christmas movie-- Christmas-in-the-background movie, I guess, is what we're calling them.
你最喜欢的圣诞电影是什么——我想，我们就是这么称呼它们的。
I think Die Hard is clearly my favorite Christmas movie.
我认为《虎胆龙威》显然是我最喜欢的圣诞电影。
I mean, I hate to be so traditional, like, as a male--
我的意思是，我讨厌如此传统，就像，作为一个男性——
(LAUGHING) So traditional.
（笑）太传统了。
Neil Drumming I mean, because a lot of men-- a lot of people-- a lot of men will say that Die Hard is their favorite Christmas movie.
我的意思是，尼尔·鼓明，因为很多男人——很多人——很多男人会说《虎胆龙威》是他们最喜欢的圣诞电影。
It is--
它是——
Neil, you see, is a classic example of the problem.
你看，尼尔就是这个问题的一个典型例子。
I think there's a world of people out there who haven't seen It's a Wonderful Life, because their impression is it's just some corny Hallmark-y movie.
我认为世界上有很多人没有看过《生活多美好》，因为他们的印象是这只是一部老套的标志性电影。
Weirdly, I think the most popular Christmas movie out there is also somehow the most underrated by people like Neil.
奇怪的是，我认为最受欢迎的圣诞电影在某种程度上也是被尼尔这样的人低估的。
To be upfront about this-- I love It's a Wonderful Life.
坦率地说——我喜欢《生活多美好》。
I love the romance of it, the darkness, the humor.
我喜欢它的浪漫、黑暗、幽默。
I love Jimmy Stewart, the lead actor, and his bumbling charm.
我喜欢男主角吉米·斯图尔特和他笨手笨脚的魅力。
Zuzu's petals, the broken banister-- I love it all.
祖祖的花瓣，破损的栏杆——我都喜欢。
It's not just my favorite Christmas film.
这不仅仅是我最喜欢的圣诞电影。
It's my favorite film.
这是我最喜欢的电影。
And I want Neil to see what I see.
我想让尼尔看到我所看到的。
What do you know about It's a Wonderful Life?
关于《生活多美好》你了解多少？
It's a Christmas movie, because it happened-- it's always on the air during Christmas.
这是一部圣诞电影，因为它发生了——它总是在圣诞节期间播出。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Neil Drumming But-- and I know-- I think Macy's is involved or something.
尼尔·鼓明但是——我知道——我认为梅西百货参与其中或者其他什么。
Wrong.
错误的。
Here's what else he thinks he knows.
以下是他认为他知道的其他内容。
Jimmy Stewart, it's in black and white, and he saw something on Instagram that it's about a person losing everything.
吉米·斯图尔特（Jimmy Stewart），它是黑白的，他在 Instagram 上看到了一些关于一个人失去一切的内容。
Which makes me think it's, like, maybe some kind of, like, yuletide retelling of the Job story?
这让我觉得这可能是圣诞期间乔布斯故事的重述？
OK.
好的。
Neil Drumming I don't know.
尼尔打鼓我不知道。
That's a guess.
这是一个猜测。
Another reason It's a Wonderful Life holds a special place in my heart-- the ending of the film actually makes me get a little teary.
《生活多美好》在我心中占有特殊地位的另一个原因是电影的结局实际上让我有点流泪。
I'm not a crier.
我不是一个爱哭的人。
I'm embarrassed by the idea of a film making me cry.
一想到电影会让我哭泣，我就感到尴尬。
But for lots of people, I think It's a Wonderful Life sneaks up on you.
但对于很多人来说，我认为“生活多美好”会悄悄降临到你身上。
Do you think you will cry?
你觉得你会哭吗？
Neil Drumming I mean, I absolutely will not cry.
尼尔·鼓明 我的意思是，我绝对不会哭。
The only movie I can think of that I cried at was, like-- it was a Will Smith movie, where he played, like, a poor father once.
我能想到的唯一一部让我哭的电影是，就像是一部威尔·史密斯的电影，他曾经扮演过一个可怜的父亲。
I can't remember the name of that movie.
我不记得那部电影的名字了。
Because he had this thing-- he had some long speech about failure as a man, and--
因为他有这样的东西——他有一些关于作为一个男人的失败的长篇演讲，而且——
Oh, wow, I think-- I don't know, if-- you might cry, Neil.
哦，哇，我想——我不知道，如果——你可能会哭，尼尔。
Yeah, OK.
是的，好的。
It's-- I mean, OK, that was a few years ago.
那是——我的意思是，好吧，那是几年前的事了。
Let's see if-- if there is a long speech about failing as a man, then maybe I'll cry.
让我们看看如果有一个关于作为一个男人失败的长篇演讲，那么也许我会哭。
Because that's a subject close to my heart.
因为这是一个我很关心的话题。
[LAUGHTER] Emanuele Berry We start the film.
[笑声] Emanuele Berry 我们开始电影了。
In case you, like Neil, haven't seen it, the movie is about George Bailey, a bright, goofy, and friendly young man who wants to see the world but keeps getting stuck in his hometown.
如果你和尼尔一样没有看过这部电影，这部电影讲述的是乔治·贝利，一个聪明、傻乎乎、友好的年轻人，他想看看世界，但总是被困在家乡。
First, it's a job that keeps him there.
首先，是一份工作让他留在那里。
His father passes, and he takes his place running the family business.
他的父亲去世了，他接替他经营家族生意。
Then, it's a romance.
然后，就是浪漫了。
George meets Mary at a dance where they fall into a pool.
乔治在一次舞会上遇到了玛丽，他们掉进了水池里。
And they're forced to walk home in whatever dry clothing they can wrangle together.
他们被迫穿着任何可以一起争论的干衣服步行回家。
Mary is in a bathrobe, and George is in a football uniform three sizes too big.
玛丽穿着浴袍，乔治穿着大了三号的足球服。
(SINGING) Buffalo gal, can't you come out tonight and dance by--
（唱歌）水牛姑娘，你今晚不能出来跳舞吗——
You know, if it wasn't me talking, I'd say you were the prettiest girl in town.
你知道，如果不是我说话，我会说你是城里最漂亮的女孩。
Well, why don't you say it?
嗯，你为什么不说呢？
George Oh, I don't know.
乔治哦，我不知道。
Maybe I will say it.
也许我会这么说。
(LAUGHING) What do you mean?
（笑）你什么意思？
Neil Drumming It's hot!
尼尔打鼓 太热了！
This is a hot meet-cute!
这是一场热辣的见面——可爱！
This is hot!
这很热！
It's a very good meet-cute.
这是一次非常好的见面——可爱。
George Am I talking too much?
乔治 我是不是说太多了？
Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
你为什么不吻她而不是把她说死呢？
How's that?
怎么样？
Man Why don't you kiss her, instead of talking her to death?
伙计，你为什么不亲吻她，而不是把她说死呢？
This is wild sexy.
这真是狂野性感。
This is amazing to me.
这对我来说太神奇了。
This is so hot to me.
这对我来说太热了。
[EMANUELE LAUGHS] Man Oh!
[埃马努埃莱笑]天哪！
Youth is wasted on the wrong people.
青春浪费在错误的人身上。
[LAUGHTER] Emanuele Berry The chemistry between the two leads on this fateful walk home-- I can tell Neil's at least somewhat sold.
[笑声] Emanuele Berry 两人之间的化学反应引领了这次命运般的回家之路——我可以看出尼尔至少有些被说服了。
George and Mary get married.
乔治和玛丽结婚了。
And just when George is about to get out of town, travel with his wife, there's a bank run.
就在乔治准备出城和妻子一起旅行时，银行发生了挤兑。
Then, after that-- a war.
然后，在那之后——一场战争。
Man Then came a war.
男人 然后爆发了一场战争。
Each time, he's faced with another obstacle.
每一次，他都会面临另一个障碍。
Restuck, he sticks around, tries to fix it-- until one fateful Christmas Eve.
重新站起来后，他坚持了下来，试图解决这个问题——直到一个决定性的圣诞夜。
His business is about to go under because of a careless mistake made by one of his employees, but George is the one who will be held responsible.
由于一名员工的粗心错误，他的生意即将破产，但乔治是要承担责任的人。
He's lost, feels like he has no place to turn.
他迷失了方向，感觉无处可去。
He goes home.
他回家了。
Mary and the kids are decorating for Christmas, and he snaps.
玛丽和孩子们正在装饰圣诞节，他厉声说道。
George, what's wrong?
乔治，怎么了？
George Wrong?
乔治 错了吗？
Everything's wrong.
一切都不对劲了。
You call this a happy family?
你管这叫幸福家庭吗？
Why do we have to have all these kids?
为什么我们必须要有这些孩子？
Ooh!
哦！
Damn!
该死！
Emanuele Berry Not so Merry Christmas-y, is it, Neil?
埃马努埃莱·贝里 圣诞快乐，不是吗，尼尔？
I'm with it.
我同意。
Let's get darker.
让我们变得更暗。
Let go to see how dark this gets.
让我们看看这会变得多么黑暗。
I'm on board.
我在船上。
Let's go darker.
让我们变暗吧。
This is horrible.
这太可怕了。
[EMANUELE LAUGHS] Emanuele Berry George wishes he'd never been born, and an angel named Clarence makes his wish come true.
[埃马努埃莱笑]埃马努埃莱·贝里·乔治希望自己从未出生过，而一位名叫克拉伦斯的天使让他的愿望成真。
Is that your wish?
这是你的愿望吗？
Emanuele Berry He sees what the town would be like if he didn't exist, and it's horrible-- ruled by money-grubbing robber barons.
埃马努埃莱·贝里（Emanuele Berry）他看到了如果他不存在的话这个小镇会是什么样子，那是多么可怕——由贪图金钱的强盗大亨统治。
Nobody has jobs or hope.
没有人有工作或希望。
What's going on around here?
这附近发生了什么事？
Emanuele Berry Neil points out, it's very much like a film he has seen-- Back to the Future.
埃马努埃莱·贝里·尼尔指出，这很像他看过的一部电影——《回到未来》。
Only then does George realize the impact his life has made and that he, in fact, had a wonderful life.
直到那时，乔治才意识到他的生活所产生的影响，并且他实际上拥有美好的生活。
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
抱歉，我无法自拔。
Help me, Clarence!
帮帮我，克拉伦斯！
Emanuele Berry Clarence takes back George's wish.
埃马努埃莱·贝里·克拉伦斯收回了乔治的愿望。
He runs home to his family, and then everyone in town shows up and gives him money so his business will survive.
他跑回家与家人团聚，然后镇上的每个人都出现并给他钱，这样他的生意就能生存下去。
Very nearly, George!
非常接近了，乔治！
Very nearly.
非常接近。
She told some people you were in trouble.
她告诉一些人你有麻烦了。
They scattered all over town, collecting money.
他们分散到全城各地，收集钱财。
Didn't ask any questions.
没有问任何问题。
Just heard George is in trouble and--
刚听说乔治遇到麻烦了而且——
Well, these-- Man 2 Another run on the bank?
好吧，这些—— Man 2 又一次银行挤兑？
I look over at Neil.
我看着尼尔。
No tears.
没有眼泪。
But when the film ends, he tells me that he liked it, and he was surprised by it, and recognized that it was not just a Christmas film.
但当电影结束时，他告诉我他喜欢这部电影，他对此感到惊讶，并认识到这不仅仅是一部圣诞电影。
I definitely forgot it was a Christmas movie.
我完全忘记了这是一部圣诞电影。
I stopped thinking about it as Christmas.
我不再把它当作圣诞节了。
It doesn't feel that-- like, that doesn't feel like what it's about.
感觉不像是这样的。
Until they sing.
直到他们唱歌。
I thought it was so funny when you were saying at the beginning that you were like, oh, yeah, I like Christmas movies where Christmas is in the background.
当你一开始说你就像，哦，是的，我喜欢以圣诞节为背景的圣诞电影时，我觉得这很有趣。
I was like, yeah, this is one of those films, actually.
我当时想，是的，实际上这是其中一部电影。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Even the "Auld Lang Syne" is, to me, a New Year's thing.
对我来说，即使是“友谊地久天长”也是新年的事情。
It's like, the Christmas part-- it doesn't really come back to Christmas.
就像圣诞节的部分——它并没有真正回到圣诞节。
It's not, like, about that.
事情不是这样的。
You know what it's like a lot?
你知道很多是什么感觉吗？
It's like Die Hard.
就像《虎胆龙威》一样。
[LAUGHTER] Emanuele Berry OK, OK.
[笑声] 埃马努埃莱·贝里 好吧，好吧。
Say more.
多说一点。
OK, they both-- the theme of both of them is to, like-- that things aren't as bad as you think.
好吧，他们俩——他们俩的主题都是——事情并没有你想象的那么糟糕。
It's that your life could-- that if you stop and appreciate your life-- not even just appreciate.
如果你停下来欣赏你的生活，你的生活可能不仅仅是欣赏。
It's not just that you stop and appreciate your life.
这不仅仅是你停下来欣赏你的生活。
It's that circumstance, dire circumstance, forces you to appreciate your life.
正是这种情况，可怕的情况，迫使你珍惜你的生活。
So in Die Hard, like, a series of ridiculously absurd terrorist-type events makes it so that he appreciates his marriage and his family more.
所以在《虎胆龙威》里，一系列荒唐可笑的恐怖事件让他更加珍惜自己的婚姻和家庭。
And he fights to save it.
他为拯救它而奋斗。
That's what I love about that movie.
这就是我喜欢那部电影的原因。
That's literally the thing I love the most about that movie is how it is kind of a romantic film.
从字面上看，我最喜欢这部电影的一点就是它是一部浪漫电影。
Like, it's like, wait, everything I had was great.
就像，就像，等等，我拥有的一切都很棒。
I should go back and save it.
我应该回去保存它。
And this is that same thing of just, like, in the moment, when things are bad, you can feel like it wasn't worth it.
这就是同样的事情，就像，在事情糟糕的那一刻，你会觉得这不值得。
But if you stop and look at it, it's worth saving.
但如果你停下来看看它，它就值得保存。
It's worth preserving.
值得保存。
It's the end of the year.
已经是年底了。
Like, maybe these kinds of movies are supposed to remind us that, like, amongst all the things you did wrong, there's something-- there's, like-- it's ultimately worth it.
就像，也许这类电影应该提醒我们，在你做错的所有事情中，有一些东西——有，比如——它最终是值得的。
I don't know.
我不知道。
But maybe that's a common theme of, like, movies that air at the end of the year.
但这也许是年底播出的电影的共同主题。
Like, maybe we just want to be reassured, going into the next year, that what we did wasn't completely a waste of time.
就像，也许我们只是想在进入明年时放心，我们所做的并不是完全浪费时间。
At one point while we're talking about the film, Neil asked why I cry at that moment the townspeople come out to support George.
有一次，当我们谈论这部电影时，尼尔问我为什么在镇民出来支持乔治的那一刻哭泣。
And I say, it's nice to think that people might recognize all that you do for them.
我说，想到人们可能会认可你为他们所做的一切，真是太好了。
Neil tells me, maybe that's why I'm emotional-- because I do a lot for other people.
尼尔告诉我，也许这就是我情绪化的原因——因为我为别人做了很多事情。
And Neil says maybe that's why he's not so emotional.
尼尔说也许这就是他不那么情绪化的原因。
Because, well, he doesn't.
因为，好吧，他不这样做。
Not news to me.
对我来说不是新闻。
Case in point, what I did for him this Christmas-- gave him the gift of watching It's a Wonderful Life.
举个例子，今年圣诞节我为他所做的——给了他观看《生活多美好》的礼物。
What he did for me-- got me to watch Die Hard.
他为我做了什么——让我看《虎胆龙威》。
Emanuele Berry is our show's executive editor.
埃马努埃莱·贝里 (Emanuele Berry) 是我们节目的执行编辑。
Act Four, Single Bells.
第四幕，单钟声。
Scaachi Koul is celebrating a Christmas first of her own this year, one that she is still puzzling through.
斯卡奇·库尔今年将庆祝她自己的第一个圣诞节，但她仍然对这个圣诞节感到困惑。
Here she is.
她在这里。
My marriage was over by last Christmas, but I didn't notice, because I was having such a nice time.
我的婚姻在去年圣诞节就结束了，但我没有注意到，因为我玩得很开心。
One of my ex's many radiant qualities was how much he liked the holidays-- always in stark contrast to me, a misery gremlin who recently escaped a bog and is allergic to natural sunlight.
我前任的众多光辉品质之一就是他多么喜欢假期——总是与我形成鲜明对比，我是一个刚刚逃离沼泽、对自然阳光过敏的痛苦小妖精。
I didn't really grow up celebrating Christmas.
我并不是真正庆祝圣诞节长大的。
I was raised Hindu by immigrants who just didn't really care about the holiday.
我是由印度教移民抚养长大的，他们并不真正关心这个节日。
The extent of our decorations was a sparse plastic tree with screwed-in branches that looked like if a spruce had recently been set ablaze.
我们的装饰范围是一棵稀疏的塑料树，树枝用螺丝拧紧，看起来就像是最近被点燃的云杉。
Our family's dedication to the holiday was always cartoonishly pathetic.
我们一家人对节日的奉献总是卡通般的可悲。
But when I met my ex a little over 10 years ago, I realized that being with him meant being with a Christmas person.
但当我十多年前遇到我的前任时，我意识到和他在一起意味着和一个圣诞节的人在一起。
It was like joining a cult where the belief structure was built around a glazed ham.
这就像加入一个邪教，其信仰结构是围绕着釉面火腿建立的。
Being with him meant we bought a real, live tree, year after year, filling our apartment with pine needles that I'd find until we bought the next real, live tree.
和他在一起意味着我们年复一年地买了一棵真正的活树，我们的公寓里装满了松针，直到我们买下一棵真正的活树。
"Doesn't it smell great?" he'd say.
“味道不是很好闻吗？”他会说。
And I'd reply with, no, because years of cigarette smoking has robbed me of a sense of smell.
我会回答说，不，因为多年的吸烟已经让我丧失了嗅觉。
My ex-husband was practically competitive about gift-giving, always giving me the best gift, the thing I wanted, sometimes even the several things I wanted.
我的前夫在送礼物方面几乎很有竞争力，总是给我最好的礼物，我想要的东西，有时甚至是我想要的几件东西。
One year, he took me to Cuba.
有一年，他带我去了古巴。
Another year, he bought me a Nintendo console that had been reliably sold out for months.
还有一年，他给我买了一台任天堂游戏机，该游戏机已经连续几个月卖光了。
The year after that-- delicate diamond studs for my non-deserving ears.
在那之后的一年——为我不配的耳朵戴上精致的钻石耳钉。
I got him a bag, like, three times.
我给他买了一个包，大概三次。
Just three different bags.
只是三个不同的袋子。
I don't know.
我不知道。
You seem to need a lot of bags.
看来你需要很多包。
I don't know what I'm doing out here.
我不知道我在这儿做什么。
OK?
好的？
I resented Christmas and his love for it often.
我常常怨恨圣诞节和他对圣诞节的热爱。
We used to fight about how I wanted to go see my family for the holidays, even though there wasn't much of a holiday to speak of, and how he wanted to go back to his sleepy little hometown with a three-car Santa Claus parade, and his stepmother's gingerbread village that the grandchildren bickered over, and the minced sauce with his dad's lamb, and the Christmas brunch with his mother.
我们常常吵架，说我多么想在假期里去看望我的家人，尽管没有什么假期可言；他多么想带着三辆车的圣诞老人游行回到他昏昏欲睡的小家乡，还有他继母的姜饼村，孙子们争吵不休，还有他爸爸的羊肉末酱，还有他妈妈的圣诞早午餐。
I was always fighting against my instincts to hate everything, to be cynical, to ask to be left alone.
我总是与自己的本能作斗争，讨厌一切，愤世嫉俗，要求独处。
I didn't like Christmas because it required so much sincerity and emotional intelligence I clearly, obviously, still lack.
我不喜欢圣诞节，因为它需要太多的真诚和情商，而我显然仍然缺乏。
We separated in February, and he's now off building a life I know nothing about.
我们在二月份分居了，现在他开始过着我一无所知的生活。
I was worried about how he'd do, alone at Christmas.
我担心他一个人过圣诞节会怎样。
But you know who is alone, in actuality?
但你知道实际上谁是孤独的吗？
Me, the Christmas hater.
我，讨厌圣诞节的人。
I'm Grinch at the top of the mountain, looking down at the denizens of Whoville, asking in the smallest voice possible, do they miss me down there?
我是山顶上的格林奇，俯视着沃维尔的居民，用尽可能小的声音问，他们在山下想念我吗？
Because though I was always loathe to admit it, I did like so many things about Christmas with his family.
因为虽然我总是不愿意承认，但我确实喜欢和他的家人一起过圣诞节的很多事情。
I did like how I always felt warm and soft between December 23 and 26, like I was a big, fat baby in a plush blanket.
我确实喜欢 12 月 23 日至 26 日期间我总是感觉温暖而柔软，就像我是一个躺在毛绒毯子里的又大又胖的婴儿。
I became comfortable with it.
我对此感到很舒服。
And eventually, I learned to look forward to it.
最终，我学会了期待它。
Christmas with him and his people was the closest to cortisol zero I've ever gotten in my life.
与他和他的人民一起度过的圣诞节是我一生中最接近零皮质醇的圣诞节。
My ex-husband's mother and stepmother always told me they loved me on Christmas Day when we exchanged gifts.
当我们交换礼物时，我前夫的母亲和继母总是在圣诞节那天告诉我他们爱我。
And I always said it back.
我总是这么回复。
I meant it, too-- a rarity for me.
我也是这么想的——这对我来说很罕见。
I liked being a daughter-in-law and offering to help with the turkey, even though I have no idea how to cook a turkey.
我喜欢当儿媳妇并主动帮忙做火鸡，尽管我不知道如何煮火鸡。
There was comfort in opening the garage door and seeing his cousins piled in there, wearing old Labatt sweaters, chain-smoking, and fighting over who stole whose lighter-- all these 40-something-year-olds reverting to who they were when they were 17.
打开车库门，看到表弟们挤在那里，穿着旧拉巴特毛衣，一根接一根地抽烟，为谁偷了谁的打火机而争吵——所有这些 40 多岁的人都回到了 17 岁时的样子，这让我感到很安慰。
My ex grew up somewhere without the pollution of a big city, so you could always see the stars.
我的前任在没有大城市污染的地方长大，所以你总能看到星星。
I wish I had spent more time looking at them.
我希望我能花更多的时间来观察它们。
To marry into a family that loves Christmas is to be conscripted into something that feels pleasingly conspiratorial.
嫁入一个热爱圣诞节的家庭，就等于被征召入伍，感觉像是一场令人愉快的阴谋。
You know exactly what you need to do, and where, and for whom.
您确切地知道自己需要做什么、在哪里、为谁做。
The days pass and inch you closer to December 24, and you have a precise awareness of what's expected of and for you.
日子一天天过去，12 月 24 日越来越近，你对自己的期望和对自己的期望有了准确的认识。
And when the holiday is done, you have all these little secrets to whisper to each other in delight.
当假期结束时，你们可以高兴地互相窃窃私语这些小秘密。
"Remember that year my mom put brown sugar in the eggs she made for Christmas Day brunch?" my husband would whisper into my mouth while we lay in bed, after we returned to our lives in New York, to the albatross that increasingly was our marriage.
“还记得那年我妈妈在她为圣诞节早午餐做的鸡蛋里放了红糖吗？”当我们回到纽约的生活后，当我们躺在床上时，我的丈夫会在我嘴里低语，我们的婚姻越来越成为负担。
I'd laugh and say, "Yes, but we ate it.
我会笑着说：“是的，但我们吃了它。
Because we love her, and we love each other, right?
因为我们爱她，我们彼此相爱，对吗？
We love each other.
我们彼此相爱。
Say it one more time, just so I'm sure that you're sure."
你再说一遍，这样我就确信你确定了。”
Now, all I feel is this constant twinge in my gut.
现在，我所能感觉到的就是我的肠胃持续不断的刺痛。
It's like having a tail cut off.
就好像尾巴被砍掉了一样。
I wasn't supposed to even have one.
我什至不应该拥有一个。
But I did for a while.
但我确实做了一段时间。
And now, I don't.
而现在，我不这样做了。
I thought about spending Christmas alone this year.
今年圣诞节我想一个人过。
I could do something devastating and romantic, like take myself on a solo vacation, maybe somewhere sunny, where I'd swan around in drapey fabric and look sad and hot and sad.
我可以做一些毁灭性的、浪漫的事情，比如带自己去一个人度假，也许是在阳光明媚的地方，在那里我穿着窗帘布到处走动，看起来悲伤、炎热、悲伤。
Maybe at a resort.
也许在度假村。
Everyone there would think I had a secret.
那里的每个人都会认为我有一个秘密。
But the secret is, I'm sad.
但秘密是，我很伤心。
Instead, on both hands, I count the people I won't speak to this December.
相反，我双手数着今年十二月我不会说话的人。
His folks, his siblings, his nieces and nephews, the cousin of his that was my favorite, the other cousin of his who always spent too much time touching my lower back, his aunt, who always called me Sasha, even 10 years in.
他的父母，他的兄弟姐妹，他的侄女和侄子，我最喜欢的他的表弟，他的另一个表弟总是花太多时间抚摸我的后背，他的阿姨，她总是叫我萨莎，甚至十年了。
I'll add this pain to the several others that hardened me from the inside-out.
我会把这种痛苦加到其他几个让我从内到外变得坚强的痛苦之上。
The first year of divorce is just a march of agonies.
离婚的第一年只是痛苦的进行曲。
Every notable event-- the first one you do by yourself.
每一个值得注意的事件——你自己做的第一个事件。
First birthday where we don't even speak, first family medical crisis where we don't cling to each other like driftwood in a tsunami, and now, our first Christmas apart.
我们甚至不说话的第一个生日，第一次家庭医疗危机，我们不能像海啸中的浮木一样紧紧抓住彼此，现在，我们第一个分开的圣诞节。
My grief around my divorce remains wildly unpredictable.
我对离婚的悲伤仍然难以预测。
I don't have any strategy or plan on how to cope with the holidays.
我没有任何关于如何应对假期的策略或计划。
I just have to walk through a TJ Maxx and glare at the Christmas display and how I have no use for a Santa Claus cookie jar.
我只需走过 TJ Maxx，盯着圣诞展示，看看我对圣诞老人饼干罐没有什么用处。
I never did, but now, I really don't.
我从来没有这样做过，但现在，我真的不这样做了。
In the end, I decided to just go home this year and lick my wounds amongst my own family.
最后，我决定今年就回家，和家人一起舔舐伤口。
My 12-year-old niece and sister-in-law celebrate Christmas with glee.
我 12 岁的侄女和嫂子高兴地庆祝圣诞节。
There are cookies to be iced, and an embarrassment of riches under the tree, and a fireplace, and a mini dachshund named Beans, who will gladly snap a hunk of turkey off of your fork.
这里有要加冰的饼干，树下有一堆令人尴尬的财富，还有一个壁炉，还有一只名叫豆子的迷你腊肠犬，它会很高兴地从你的叉子上咬下一大块火鸡。
Even my dad enjoys Christmas, if forced.
如果被迫的话，即使是我的父亲也喜欢圣诞节。
He will never say no to a slice of pecan pie after a dinner that he complains does not have enough masala.
晚餐后，如果他抱怨马沙拉不够，他永远不会拒绝吃一片山核桃派。
I could conceivably find pleasure in this holiday again if I worked at it.
如果我努力的话，我可以想象再次在这个假期中找到乐趣。
But I don't want to right now.
但我现在不想。
It's not that I like or dislike the holiday.
这并不是说我喜欢或不喜欢这个假期。
It's simply that now it hurts my feelings.
只是现在伤害了我的感情。
I crave nothing more than indifference, to view Christmas as but another holiday that isn't mine-- Easter, Hanukkah, Eid.
我所渴望的只是冷漠，把圣诞节视为另一个不属于我的节日——复活节、光明节、开斋节。
You won't see me crying over Casimir Pulaski Day.
你不会看到我为卡西米尔普拉斯基日哭泣。
For the last year, everything has felt either triumphant or devastating.
去年，一切都让人感觉要么是胜利，要么是毁灭性的。
And it would be nice to feel, instead, nothing at all.
如果什么都感觉不到，那就太好了。
Scaachi Cole is the author of One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, and a cultural reporter at BuzzFeed News.
斯卡奇·科尔（Scaachi Cole）是《有一天我们都会死》和《这一切都无关紧要》一书的作者，也是 BuzzFeed News 的文化记者。
Her story was produced by Diane Wu.
她的故事由吴黛安制作。
Our program was produced today with holiday spirit by Sean Cole.
今天我们的节目由肖恩·科尔带着节日气氛制作。
The people who put together today's program include Jane Ackermann, Bim Adewunmi, Michal Comite, Aviva DeKornfeld, Cassie Howley, Valerie Kipnis, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Nadia Reiman, Ryan Rumery, Alissa Shipp, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Jane Ackermann、Bim Adewunmi、Michal Comite、Aviva DeKornfeld、Cassie Howley、Valerie Kipnis、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Rae Mondo、Nadia Reiman、Ryan Rumery、Alissa Shipp、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Diane Wu。
Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman, and our senior editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的总编辑是 Sarah Abdurrahman，我们的高级编辑是 David Kestenbaum。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks today to Larry Weissman, a.k.a.
今天特别感谢拉里·韦斯曼 (Larry Weissman)，又名
DJ PreSkool, Rachael Albert, Ben Levine, Phoenix Henkle, and Majestic Retail in Redlands, California, where we recorded Santa Allen.
DJ PreSkool、Rachael Albert、Ben Levine、Phoenix Henkle 和位于加利福尼亚州雷德兰兹的 Majestic Retail，我们在那里录制了 Santa Allen。
Our website-- thisamericanlife.org, where you can stream our archive.
我们的网站 - thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中流式传输我们的档案。
That's over 750 episodes for absolutely free.
超过 750 集完全免费。
Also, there's videos.
另外，还有视频。
There's lists of favorite episodes.
有最喜欢的剧集列表。
There's tons of other stuff there.
那里还有很多其他东西。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks as always to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he came into my office this week and spent, like, I don't know, 25 minutes working on the settings on my web browser.
你知道，他这周来到我的办公室，花了 25 分钟（我不知道）来设置我的网络浏览器。
I really had no idea what he was doing.
我真的不知道他在做什么。
Finally, he turns to me, triumphant, and declares--
最后，他转向我，胜利地宣布——
The cookies are gone!
饼干不见了！
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass.
艾拉·格拉斯 我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Happy holiday.
节日快乐。
Back next week with more stories on This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多关于《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
This American Life This American Life 与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。