777: Name. Age. Detail. - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #777 | August 12, 2022 777: Name.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 777 集 | 2022 年 8 月 12 日 777：姓名。
Age.
年龄。
Detail.
细节。
Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Pearl Young and Aaron Salter Jr. Ira Glass Denise Clark is a retired schoolteacher who still works as a substitute.
Pearl Young 和 Aaron Salter Jr. Ira Glass 丹尼斯·克拉克 (Denise Clark) 是一名退休教师，目前仍在担任代课老师。
When COVID hit and her high school switched to remote learning, it was hard for her for all the normal reasons.
当新冠疫情袭来，她的高中转向远程学习时，由于所有正常原因，这对她来说很困难。
But also, like lots of older people, she wasn't so great on computers.
但和许多老年人一样，她对电脑也不太擅长。
Ditto for her friend, Pearl, who was another substitute at that school, who Denise would do crossword puzzles with in the faculty lounge.
她的朋友珀尔也是如此，她是那所学校的另一位替补，丹尼斯会在教员休息室与她一起玩填字游戏。
Pearl, also not so great on the computers.
珍珠，在电脑上也不太好。
And Pearl was a decade older than Denise, in her mid-70s.
珀尔比丹妮丝大十岁，七十多岁了。
She always told me, can you help me?
她总是对我说，你能帮我吗？
She thought I was good at it, so she always wanted me to help her.
她认为我很擅长，所以她总是希望我能帮助她。
I really wasn't the best person.
我确实不是最好的人。
It took a while for me to learn it, to tell you the truth.
我花了一段时间才学会它，告诉你真相。
You know, you think, if you're 75, and your job completely changes, you might call it quits.
你知道，你想，如果你已经 75 岁了，你的工作完全改变了，你可能会放弃它。
But Pearl was adamant.
但珀尔态度坚决。
She was going to learn to work on the computer.
她要学习如何在计算机上工作。
And when she got stuck, she wasn't shy to call in help from the IT guy, or the assistant principal, or really, whoever she could find.
当她遇到困难时，她会毫不犹豫地向 IT 人员、副校长，或者任何她能找到的人寻求帮助。
I had to tip my hat to her if I had one.
如果我有的话，我必须向她致敬。
Because she would keep trying.
因为她会继续努力。
That's the thing I like about her.
这就是我喜欢她的一点。
She'd ask questions.
她会问问题。
She was doing better than some of us.
她比我们中的一些人做得更好。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
And Pearl, she kept up with it.
而珀尔，她坚持了下来。
You know, she didn't know sometimes-- she had some difficulties.
你知道，她有时并不知道——她遇到了一些困难。
What kind of difficulties was she having?
她遇到了什么样的困难？
Well, we all had difficulties.
好吧，我们都有困难。
You know, we had to get-- to get in.
你知道，我们必须进入。
Sometimes the computer's lights would go off.
有时电脑的灯会熄灭。
But this was new-- the Zoom stuff.
但这是新的——Zoom 的东西。
But you had to learn it.
但你必须学习它。
Pearl did learn it.
珍珠确实学会了。
Pearl's daughter, Pam, in fact, told me that she watched, fascinated that her 70-something-year-old mom was on the computer all the time.
事实上，珀尔的女儿帕姆告诉我，她看着她 70 多岁的妈妈一直在电脑前，这让她着迷。
Over a year before this, she'd bought Pearl a laptop that had mostly gone unused.
一年多前，她给珀尔买了一台几乎没有使用过的笔记本电脑。
But now, Pearl was running a classroom on Zoom, taking attendance, telling kids to get on camera and participate.
但现在，Pearl 在 Zoom 上管理一间教室，记录出勤情况，告诉孩子们接受镜头并参与其中。
I always tell her how proud I was of her for that.
我总是告诉她我为此感到多么自豪。
And after that achievement-- OK, who would have guessed that this was going to happen-- Pearl started using her computer and her phone when she was not working, in ways that her daughter had never imagined were possible.
在取得这一成就之后——好吧，谁能想到这会发生——珀尔开始在不工作的时候使用她的电脑和手机，以她女儿从未想象过的方式。
She never-- my mom never sent me an email.
她从来没有——我妈妈从来没有给我发过电子邮件。
But when she got on Facebook-- oh my goodness.
但当她登陆 Facebook 时——天哪。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
Pam She started communicating through Facebook all the time.
Pam 她开始一直通过 Facebook 进行交流。
So there was some day where, like, you're on Facebook, and then suddenly, your mom pops up?
有一天，你在 Facebook 上，然后你妈妈突然出现了？
And were you just like, what's happening?
你是否只是想，发生了什么事？
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Oh my gosh, OK, so all of a sudden, my mom is coming up in my Timelines.
哦，天哪，好吧，突然之间，我的妈妈出现在我的时间轴中。
Like, if I put a picture up of, you know, me and my daughters going out to eat somewhere, then I would get something on Facebook saying, you didn't invite me, you know, and things like that, you know?
就像，如果我上传一张我和我女儿们出去吃饭的照片，然后我会在 Facebook 上看到一些信息说，你没有邀请我，你知道，诸如此类的事情，你知道吗？
Oh, yeah, it would be funny sometimes.
哦，是的，有时会很有趣。
If she couldn't get in contact with me or Damon-- that's my younger brother--
如果她无法联系到我或达蒙——那是我的弟弟——
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Pam --she knows that if she would put on Facebook, tell Pam or tell Damon to call me, someone in our family is calling us to say, you know, call your mom.
帕姆——她知道，如果她在 Facebook 上告诉帕姆或达蒙给我打电话，我们家里就会有人打电话给我们说，你知道，给你妈妈打电话。
On Saturday, May 14, Pam's mom, Pearl, was one of the 10 people killed at Tops grocery in Buffalo.
5 月 14 日星期六，帕姆的妈妈珀尔 (Pearl) 是布法罗 Tops 杂货店遇害的 10 人之一。
A teenage white supremacist has been charged with driving over three hours there to murder Black people.
一名青少年白人至上主义者被指控开车三个多小时前往那里谋杀黑人。
When something like the Buffalo shooting happens, each of the people killed gets summarized afterwards in a sentence.
当像布法罗枪击事件这样的事情发生时，每个被杀的人都会在事后用一句话进行总结。
Pearl was Pearl Young, the 77-year-old grandmother who taught Sunday school and ran a food pantry at the church for decades.
珀尔就是珀尔·杨 (Pearl Young)，她是一位 77 岁的祖母，几十年来一直在教会教主日学，并经营食品储藏室。
That leaves so much out about how she lived-- big things, like special connections she had with teenagers, how they'd bond with her, and could talk to her about what was really going on with them; little things, like how her world changed when she learned the computer and started mildly trolling her grown children on Facebook.
这就遗漏了很多关于她如何生活的事情——一些大事，比如她与青少年的特殊联系，他们如何与她建立联系，以及如何与她谈论他们的真实情况；等等。小事，比如当她学会计算机并开始在 Facebook 上温和地恶搞她成年的孩子时，她的世界发生了怎样的变化。
We're all of us too big to fit into a sentence.
我们所有人都太大了，无法用一句话来形容。
Take Aaron Salter Jr., who was also killed at Tops that day.
以小亚伦·索尔特 (Aaron Salter Jr.) 为例，他当天也在托普斯被杀。
The story about him that was repeated a lot in the wake of the shooting-- he was a store security guard, a retired police officer.
枪击事件发生后，关于他的故事被多次重复——他是一名商店保安，一名退休警察。
And when the gunman came in firing a semiautomatic rifle, Aaron Salter exchanged fire with him.
当枪手用半自动步枪进来时，亚伦·索尔特与他交火。
But the guy was wearing body armor, and killed Aaron Salter.
但这家伙穿着防弹衣，杀死了亚伦·索尔特。
He was called a hero.
他被称为英雄。
There were photos of him in his uniform.
有他穿着制服的照片。
But there were other sides to him.
但他还有其他的一面。
In his spare time, Salter would invent things.
在业余时间，索尔特会发明一些东西。
He was a tinkerer-- rebuilt a '67 Cadillac.
他是一位修补匠，改装了一辆 67 年的凯迪拉克。
In 2011, when gas prices rose to over $4 a gallon, he went online and bought plans to refit a car engine so it would run on water by splitting the water into hydrogen and oxygen, and using that hydrogen as fuel.
2011 年，当汽油价格上涨到每加仑 4 美元以上时，他在网上购买了改装汽车发动机的计划，通过将水分解为氢气和氧气，并使用氢气作为燃料，使汽车能够以水为动力。
Like any hobbyist, there are videos of him talking about this online, getting those original plans.
像任何爱好者一样，有他在网上谈论这个问题的视频，并获得了那些原始计划。
I was skeptical myself.
我自己也很怀疑。
I didn't-- you know, I didn't believe that it would work.
我不——你知道，我不相信它会起作用。
But I just wanted to see.
但我只是想看看。
He says the plans that he bought online, they weren't any good.
他说他在网上购买的计划并不好。
So he designed his own version with a cooling system and a circulation system, and it worked-- a little, anyway.
因此，他设计了自己的带有冷却系统和循环系统的版本，并且它起作用了——无论如何，有一点作用。
All right, I'm just going to-- I'm just going to start it.
好吧，我要——我要开始了。
His system, which he built and installed in an F-150 truck, was innovative enough that it was actually granted a patent.
他建造并安装在 F-150 卡车上的系统具有足够的创新性，因此实际上获得了专利。
And Salter says in these videos that he's been able to drive the truck on hydrogen for 8/10 of a mile so far, though in the videos, it all very much still looks like a work in progress.
Salter 在这些视频中表示，到目前为止，他已经能够用氢气驾驶卡车行驶 8/10 英里，尽管在视频中，这一切看起来仍然像是一项正在进行的工作。
Like, after he throws the valve to send hydrogen into the engine, it runs for a little while, but then he has to shut it down.
就像，在他打开阀门将氢气输送到发动机后，发动机会运行一段时间，但随后他必须将其关闭。
It's holding water.
它正在盛水。
Man It's holding water in it?
伙计，里面有水吗？
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Ira Glass Water pours out of the tube that's supposed to be carrying only hydrogen.
艾拉玻璃水从原本只含有氢气的管子中流出。
And that's not supposed to be there, right?
那不应该在那里，对吗？
That's why it's not running.
这就是它没有运行的原因。
Ira Glass Watching him troubleshoot on these videos is where it really starts to feel like you see Aaron Salter's personality for the first time.
Ira Glass 看着他在这些视频中排除故障，你会感觉自己第一次看到 Aaron Salter 的个性。
He's calm, methodical.
他很冷静，有条理。
Got to get this water.
一定要得到这个水。
Ira Glass His son, Aaron III, told a reporter after he died that the last time he saw his dad, they went riding motorcycles.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）的儿子亚伦三世（Aaron III）死后告诉记者，他最后一次见到父亲时，他们骑摩托车去了。
And when his motorcycle broke down, and his dad got into the engine to try to fix it, it was the most Aaron Salter Junior-y thing his dad could have done.
当他的摩托车坏了，他爸爸钻进发动机试图修理它时，这是他爸爸能做的最像小亚伦·索尔特的事情。
Just seeing him in action, he said, doing stuff like that, is what I'm going to miss about him.
他说，只要看到他在行动，做这样的事情，我就会怀念他。
Well, today on our program, this has been a year of so many mass shootings, really horrific ones, that it feels hard to absorb the names and pictures of each one before the next one happens.
好吧，今天在我们的节目中，这一年发生了如此多的大规模枪击事件，非常可怕，以至于在下一起枪击事件发生之前，很难记住每一起枪击事件的名字和照片。
Uvalde was, I don't know, what was it, 10 days after Buffalo?
尤瓦尔迪，我不知道，那是什么，布法罗之后十天？
What happened in Buffalo was a mass shooting, but it was also an act of racial violence.
布法罗发生的事件是大规模枪击事件，但也是种族暴力行为。
The alleged killer wrote in his 180-page manifesto, his whole goal was, quote, "to kill as many Blacks as possible." That's how he chose Tops.
这名被指控的凶手在他 180 页的宣言中写道，他的全部目标是“杀死尽可能多的黑人”。这就是他选择Tops的原因。
He didn't care in particular who they were, just that they were Black.
他并不特别关心他们是谁，只关心他们是黑人。
What do you do in the face of that?
面对这种情况你会怎么做？
Well, I think first and foremost, it seems worth asserting the obvious fact that these were not interchangeable Black people, but specific people living their lives, and that we remember them for who they were, as well as we know how.
好吧，我认为首先也是最重要的是，似乎值得断言一个明显的事实，即这些人不是可以互换的黑人，而是过着自己生活的特定人，我们记得他们是谁，也知道如何记住他们。
At our show, we were talking about that list of names that went around after Buffalo, 10 names and ages, and what it would mean to know more about them and tell some of their stories in ways that we hadn't heard before after one of these shootings.
在我们的节目中，我们讨论了布法罗事件之后流传的名单，其中有 10 个名字和年龄，以及在其中一次枪击事件发生后，更多地了解他们并以我们以前从未听说过的方式讲述他们的一些故事意味着什么。
We asked a bunch of Black writers to use their skills to help us do just that.
我们请一群黑人作家利用他们的技能来帮助我们做到这一点。
Each one wrote about somebody they felt some connection to, or noticed some detail about that they couldn't get out of their head, to show you a side of these 10 people that you have not heard or seen.
每个人都写了一些他们觉得与他们有联系的人，或者注意到了一些他们无法忘记的细节，向你展示这 10 个人你没有听说过或见过的一面。
That's our show today.
这就是我们今天的节目。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
The music that you're hearing right now is by Curtis Lovell, a Buffalo musician who you're going to hear throughout the show today.
您现在听到的音乐是布法罗音乐家柯蒂斯·洛弗尔 (Curtis Lovell) 创作的，您将在今天的整场演出中听到他的音乐。
And let's start with--
让我们从——
Celestine Chaney, 65 years old.
塞莱斯廷·钱尼，65 岁。
The one-sentence description of her was something like, she attended Fosdick-Masten Vocational High School, which was a prestigious school for girls in Buffalo, where she studied to be a seamstress, went on to jobs in Buffalo companies that made suits and baseball caps.
对她的一句话描述是这样的，她就读于福斯迪克-马斯滕职业高中，这是布法罗一所著名的女子学校，她在那里学习成为一名裁缝，后来在布法罗制作西装和棒球帽的公司工作。
Though in reading about her, we saw a thing where one of her grandchildren, a 25-year-old, Kayla Jones, said her grandmother was her best friend, and they were really close, somebody that she could confide in over homemade margaritas.
不过，在阅读有关她的故事时，我们看到她的一个孙子、25 岁的凯拉·琼斯 (Kayla Jones) 说，她的祖母是她最好的朋友，他们关系非常亲密，她可以在喝自制玛格丽特酒时向她倾诉心声。
They'd party together.
他们会一起聚会。
Writer Brittany Luse was interested in that relationship and talked to Kayla.
作家布列塔尼·卢斯对这段关系很感兴趣，并与凯拉进行了交谈。
Kayla Jones says most of the words you'd use to describe a grandma apply to hers, Celestine Chaney.
凯拉·琼斯 (Kayla Jones) 说，大多数描述祖母的词语都适用于她的祖母，塞莱斯廷·钱尼 (Celestine Chaney)。
She could sew, was active in church, and loved to host.
她会缝纫，活跃于教堂，并且喜欢接待客人。
The family would often get together at Celestine's place for parties-- like, real parties.
一家人经常在塞莱斯廷家聚会——就像真正的聚会一样。
Grandma had a bar.
奶奶开了一家酒吧。
Like, she used to-- like, at her house, a lot of people would come over for-- like, they'd have game night.
就像，她过去常常——比如，在她家，很多人会过来——比如，他们会度过一个游戏之夜。
You know, our game nights be like, Uno and stuff.
你知道，我们的游戏之夜就像，Uno之类的。
But their game nights is, like, gambling with card games and stuff like that.
但他们的游戏之夜就像是玩纸牌游戏之类的赌博。
And they had bingo.
他们还玩宾果游戏。
So that's why they-- like, a lot of her sisters and her cousins and stuff, they'd come over and they'd do all that.
所以这就是为什么他们——比如，她的很多姐妹和她的表兄弟姐妹之类的人，他们会过来，他们会做这一切。
They got a bar.
他们有一个酒吧。
The thing Kayla connected most with her grandma about?
凯拉与她祖母联系最紧密的一件事是什么？
They both liked to look good-- nails, hair, clothes.
他们都喜欢看起来漂亮——指甲、头发、衣服。
Celestine refused to leave the house looking anything less than immaculate.
塞莱斯廷拒绝让房子看起来不完美。
She and Kayla shared that in common.
她和凯拉有这个共同点。
Of course, they had different ideas about what immaculate looked like.
当然，他们对于完美的样子有不同的看法。
Kayla says her grandma would tease her for showing too much skin.
凯拉说她的奶奶会因为她暴露太多皮肤而取笑她。
Celestine preferred to shop at Kohl's and Burlington Coat Factory.
塞莱斯廷更喜欢去 Kohl's 和 Burlington Coat Factory 购物。
She always at the nail shop whenever she needed a fill.
每当她需要补指甲时，她总是去美甲店。
She wore acrylics, so-- never nothing too long.
她穿着丙烯酸树脂的衣服，所以——永远不会穿太长的衣服。
She was always like the oval.
她总是像椭圆形。
I can say, like, short, not too short length.
我可以说，就像，短，不是太短的长度。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Kayla Jones And she got the little-- always used to have, like, the back in the day nail tech-- like, you know, back in the day, the styles we used to get?
凯拉·琼斯（Kayla Jones）她有一些小东西——过去总是有，比如，过去的美甲技术——就像，你知道，过去，我们曾经得到的款式？
Like, she still got those, like, with the little lines and dots and stuff like that.
就像，她仍然有那些，比如，带有小线条和点之类的东西。
With the lines and dots on the little palm tree.
用小棕榈树上的线条和点。
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like we used to wear early 2000s.
是啊是啊，就像我们2000年代初穿的衣服一样。
She still gets that style.
她仍然保持这种风格。
Celestine reminds me a lot of my own mom.
塞莱斯廷让我想起了我自己的妈妈。
They're both loving grandmothers, church ladies who like to party, and they both love a full look.
她们都是慈爱的祖母、喜欢聚会的教堂女士，而且她们都喜欢完整的造型。
They were also both born in the 1950s.
他们也都出生于20世纪50年代。
Many Black women of that generation were taught that chipped nails, undone hair, or wrinkly clothes could widen the gap between you and a job, a home loan, or basic respect.
那一代的许多黑人女性都被教导说，指甲碎裂、头发蓬乱或衣服起皱可能会拉大你与工作、住房贷款或基本尊重之间的差距。
Beauty was a joy, but it was also a shield.
美貌是一种快乐，但同时也是一种盾牌。
When Kayla was still a kid, Celestine went through a lot with her health.
当凯拉还是个孩子的时候，塞莱斯廷的健康经历了很多。
She battled breast cancer and suffered three brain aneurysms.
她与乳腺癌作斗争，并患有三处脑动脉瘤。
When Celestine began to lose her hair, Kayla started to style it for her.
当塞莱斯廷开始脱发时，凯拉开始为她设计头发。
They took a piece of her skull out, so I'm not sure if they was working on her brain or something like that.
他们取出了她的一块头骨，所以我不确定他们是否正在对她的大脑或类似的东西进行治疗。
So she had, like, a little dent in it.
所以她身上有一点凹痕。
And I know for sure, like, that's the worst part about it that she hated, was that, and of course because her hair had to get cut off.
我确信，这是她讨厌的最糟糕的部分，当然，因为她的头发必须被剪掉。
So, like, in that part where the dent was, the hair fairly-- like, it didn't grow as much.
所以，就像，在凹痕所在的部分，头发并没有长得那么多。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Kayla Jones So like, when I used to-- like, sometimes she would wear her real hair.
凯拉·琼斯（Kayla Jones）所以就像，当我以前——就像，有时她会戴上她的真头发。
And I'd have to curl it.
我必须把它卷起来。
She was just like, can you please just make sure that you cover that up?
她就像，你能确保把它掩盖起来吗？
Because she genuinely did not like that.
因为她真的不喜欢那样。
What was it like back then to be able to care for your grandmother in that way?
当年能这样照顾奶奶是什么感觉？
I didn't really like it because I know she didn't like it.
我不太喜欢它，因为我知道她不喜欢它。
And I know that she feels some type of way about it.
我知道她对此有某种感觉。
It's just sad to-- so I just did whatever I can to help out.
这真是令人难过——所以我只是尽我所能提供帮助。
Because I know if it was me, I would hate it, too.
因为我知道如果是我，我也会讨厌它。
Kayla's interest in hair eventually led her to hair school.
凯拉对头发的兴趣最终让她进入了美发学校。
In recent years, Kayla started making wigs for her grandmother just because Celestine liked them.
近年来，凯拉开始为她的祖母制作假发，只是因为塞莱斯廷喜欢它们。
She'd see Kayla in her custom wigs and say, give me that wig when you're done with it.
她会看到凯拉戴着她定制的假发，然后说，等你用完假发，把假发给我。
So I can't say she had a favorite, but I did make her a couple.
所以我不能说她有最喜欢的，但我确实让她成为了一对。
My favorite wig that she had was the one I made her.
我最喜欢她的假发是我为她做的。
And it had blue streaks in it.
而且里面还有蓝色的条纹。
Blue streaks?
蓝色条纹？
Kayla Jones I gave her some blue streaks, yep.
凯拉·琼斯 我给了她一些蓝色条纹，是的。
I got a picture.
我有一张照片。
[LAUGHTER] Brittany Luse Wait, so was it short, or was it long--
[笑声] Brittany Luse 等等，它是短还是长——
It was like a short bob.
就像一个短鲍勃。
I made her a short middle part bob.
我给她做了一个中间短鲍勃。
And I put, like, a little-- couple tracks in it, like blue tracks, like teal.
我在里面放了一些曲目，比如蓝色曲目，比如青色曲目。
That's cute.
太可爱了。
Kayla Jones And throughout the back.
凯拉·琼斯 以及整个背部。
But she had a nice, little, wavy bob.
但她有一头漂亮的小波浪波波头。
She really liked that.
她真的很喜欢这样。
I was going to say, what was her response when she saw that the wig was blue?
我想说，当她看到假发是蓝色的时候，她有什么反应？
She was cracking up.
她快要崩溃了。
I got a video when I had-- she liked it.
我收到了一个视频——她喜欢它。
I think she liked it.
我想她喜欢它。
[LAUGHS] Kayla Jones She wore it.
[笑]凯拉·琼斯她穿过它。
It wasn't OD a lot of blue in it.
它不是OD，里面有很多蓝色。
I probably put, like, three or four tracks in so it had, like, little small streaks.
我可能放了三四首曲目，所以它有一些小条纹。
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she didn't have, like, nothing too blue, too much.
是啊，是啊，是啊，她没有什么太蓝色、太多的东西。
Something that she can definitely wear, but it's something a little extra-- you know, extra little-- she never had a little style like that.
她绝对可以穿的东西，但有点额外——你知道，额外的一点——她从来没有这样的风格。
So I wanted her to stand out a little.
所以我想让她脱颖而出一点。
Celestine was a traditional lady, the type who might find a signature style and stick with it-- a press and curl, a roller set, maybe they'll do a flat iron with a little bump at the ends.
塞莱斯廷是一位传统的女士，她可能会找到一种标志性的风格并坚持下去——按压和卷发、卷发器，也许他们会做末端有一点凸起的直发器。
But your granddaughter suggesting blue highlights?
但是你的孙女建议使用蓝色亮点？
Not going to happen.
不会发生的。
But Celestine was loving and trusting enough of Kayla to allow herself to be seen the way her granddaughter saw her.
但塞莱斯廷对凯拉足够的爱和信任，让别人以她孙女看待她的方式看待自己。
Celestine embraced all of Kayla, exactly how she was-- mostly.
塞莱斯廷拥抱了凯拉的全部，就像她本来的样子——大部分都是这样。
Just she can't stand my eyelashes, they're so long.
只是她受不了我的睫毛，它们太长了。
When I do put lashes in, she'll go, I'm gonna cut them off with toenail clippers.
当我戴上睫毛时，她会走，我会用脚趾甲剪把它们剪掉。
I literally have a video of her saying that.
我确实有她说这句话的视频。
Like, I'm going to get them-- take them little caterpillars off your eyes.
就像，我要把它们抓起来——把它们从你眼睛上拿走。
[LAUGHS] Kayla Jones That's the only thing she could not stand, was them long lashes.
[笑] 凯拉·琼斯 这是她唯一不能忍受的，就是长长的睫毛。
That's why I put some on her.
这就是为什么我给她放了一些。
I ain't OD at the funeral, but, like, when I put her together for the funeral, I did put lashes on her.
我在葬礼上不是吸毒者，但是，就像，当我把她放在一起参加葬礼时，我确实给她上了睫毛。
Did you do her hair for the funeral, as well?
葬礼上你也给她做了头发吗？
Yeah, I got her a wig, like a short bob.
是的，我给她买了一顶假发，就像短鲍勃一样。
It was a front bang wig.
那是一顶前刘海假发。
And then I had one of my best friends do her makeup.
然后我让我最好的朋友之一给她化妆。
And then we had matching outfits.
然后我们就有了相配的服装。
So I had-- we had the same suit on.
所以我——我们穿着同样的衣服。
Like, exactly the same outfit, just same suit, same undershirt.
就像，一模一样的衣服，同样的西装，同样的汗衫。
Do you think your-- do you think your grandmother would be honored by that, by you all being-- like, looking so much alike on that day?
你认为你的——你认为你的祖母会因为你们所有人——那天看起来如此相似而感到荣幸吗？
Oh, of course.
哦，当然。
I made sure she went out-- like, she looked really cute.
我确保她出去了——她看起来真的很可爱。
Like, she looked really good and-- because they had to do, like, a lot of-- they had to reconstruct the side of her face.
就像，她看起来真的很好，而且——因为他们必须做很多——他们必须重建她的脸的一侧。
So I had to just make sure, like, we could get her looking just like-- you know what I mean, to herself as possible.
所以我必须确保，比如，我们能让她看起来就像——你知道我的意思，尽可能地让她看起来像她自己。
But she looked really good-- like, really good.
但她看起来真的很好——真的很好。
When we're little, the first, and often only people to care for our hair are family-- mothers, aunties, sisters, cousins, and grandmothers.
当我们还小的时候，第一个、通常也是唯一一个照顾我们头发的人是家人——母亲、阿姨、姐妹、表兄弟姐妹和祖母。
We spend long mornings between their knees or at kitchen tables with combs and brushes next to our cereal bowls before our days even begin.
在我们的一天开始之前，我们就在他们的膝盖之间或在厨房的桌子上度过了漫长的早晨，梳子和刷子放在麦片碗旁边。
Their palms kiss our scalps, allowing us to greet an unkind world with a halo of love.
他们的手掌亲吻着我们的头皮，让我们带着爱的光环迎接这个不友善的世界。
And sometimes, when we grow up, we have the honor of returning the gesture.
有时，当我们长大后，我们有幸回报这种姿态。
Brittany Luse is co-host of the For Colored Nerds podcast.
布列塔尼·卢斯 (Brittany Luse) 是“有色书呆子”播客的联合主持人。
Andre Mackniel, born 1969.
安德烈·麦克尼尔，生于 1969 年。
After the Buffalo shooting, there wasn't a lot written about Andre Mackniel, and his family hasn't been talking much to the press.
布法罗枪击事件发生后，关于安德烈·麦克尼尔的报道不多，他的家人也没有向媒体透露太多。
We know that he worked at a restaurant, had five children, that he wrote poetry.
我们知道他在一家餐馆工作，有五个孩子，他写诗。
The one place that he shared parts of himself publicly was on TikTok.
他公开分享自己的部分内容的唯一一个地方是 TikTok。
Here, at our radio show, the person who swims the furthest and deepest in the ocean that is TikTok is Bim Adewunmi.
在我们的广播节目中，在 TikTok 的海洋里游得最远、最深的人是 Bim Adewunmi。
She has many thoughts about what she sees there.
她对在那里看到的东西有很多想法。
We were very interested to hear what she would say about his videos.
我们很想听听她对他的视频有何评价。
She likes them.
她喜欢它们。
Andre was 53 years old when he was murdered.
安德烈被谋杀时年仅 53 岁。
And he used TikTok exactly as you would expect a 53-year-old man to use TikTok, which is to say, he's not interested in recreating complex, choreographed dances.
他使用 TikTok 的方式与你想象中的 53 岁男性使用 TikTok 的方式完全一样，也就是说，他对重现复杂的、精心设计的舞蹈不感兴趣。
And he's not telling funny stories.
而且他讲的不是有趣的故事。
We actually never hear his voice.
我们实际上从未听到过他的声音。
Instead, there are slideshows of friends and members of his family, or of himself, often in his car.
相反，通常在他的车里播放朋友和家人或他自己的幻灯片。
Here's one of his partner in hospital after giving birth.
这是他的一位伴侣生完孩子后在医院的情况。
Here's a smiling kid with cornrows.
这是一个带着玉米辫的微笑的孩子。
Here's a screenshot of a Facebook photo.
这是 Facebook 照片的屏幕截图。
His videos are all soundtracked by music he liked, some of it three decades old-- R&B songs by artists like Luther Vandross, Usher, Jagged Edge, Tevin Campbell, Jeremih.
他的视频全部由他喜欢的音乐配乐，其中一些是三十年前的 R&B 歌曲，由 Luther Vandross、Usher、Jagged Edge、Tevin Campbell、Jeremih 等艺术家创作。
I recognize the music because I love this music, too.
我认得这首音乐，因为我也喜欢这首音乐。
It hits me, watching, we're not that far apart in age.
我突然意识到，我们的年龄相差并不远。
The most TikTok thing Andre does in the 37 videos he posted?
安德烈发布的 37 个视频中，在 TikTok 上做的最多的事情是什么？
He lip-syncs to hip hop and R&B classics.
他对嘻哈和 R&B 经典歌曲进行口型同步。
In one, he mouths along to Raheem DeVaughn's 2008 song, "Customer."
在一首歌曲中，他用嘴跟着拉希姆·德沃恩 (Raheem DeVaughn) 2008 年的歌曲《顾客》(Customer)。
(SINGING) If your heart is hungry, you can place your order here with me.
（唱）如果你的心饿了，可以在这里跟我点餐。
Let me serve you up, let me, let me serve you up--
让我为你服务，让我，让我为你服务——
Andre looks right into the camera in these videos, the frame super tight around his face and chest.
在这些视频中，安德烈直视镜头，他的脸和胸部周围的框架非常紧。
And he emotes.
他情绪激动。
He puts his hand to his chest and his temple, and points to the camera, landing the lyrics with intent.
他把手放在胸口和太阳穴上，指向镜头，故意将歌词落下来。
His beard is flecked with gray, so it's more salt and pepper than black.
他的胡子上布满了灰色斑点，所以它更像是盐和胡椒而不是黑色。
When he lip syncs to H-Town's "Part Time Lover," he really nails the ad-libs.
当他对口型唱 H-Town 的《Part Time Lover》时，他的即兴表演真的很出色。
(SINGING) There is not another man who wouldn't take care of you.
（唱）没有一个男人不会照顾你。
Right now, I know you're busy, baby, but let me be your part time fool.
现在，我知道你很忙，宝贝，但让我当你的兼职傻瓜吧。
Both those videos and a couple of others have the same caption-- for my wife.
这两个视频和其他几个视频都有相同的标题——献给我的妻子。
Love songs so easily fall into the realm of cheesy, singing along to them even more so.
情歌很容易陷入俗气的境地，跟着唱更是如此。
But Andre commits.
但安德烈承诺了。
He's feeling feelings.
他正在感受感情。
And on TikTok, if nowhere else, you can be earnest.
在 TikTok 上，如果没有其他地方，你可以很认真。
These videos feel like something he hoped his partner would actually see and love.
这些视频感觉像是他希望他的伴侣真正看到并喜欢的东西。
For me, some of the most moving videos from Andre were a couple posted on the day DMX died, in April 2021.
对我来说，Andre 最感人的视频是 2021 年 4 月 DMX 去世那天发布的几段视频。
In both, he's wearing a maroon terry robe over his T-shirt, with his beard trimmed close.
在这两件作品中，他都在 T 恤外面穿着一件栗色毛圈布长袍，胡须修剪得很整齐。
The idea of him posting those to honor the late rapper, a stranger who had moved him with his art, wrecks me.
他发布这些照片是为了纪念已故的说唱歌手，一个用他的艺术感动了他的陌生人，这个想法让我很伤心。
One of the lyrics Andre lip-syncs to is from 1998's "Slippin'"-- "If I'm strong enough, I'll live long enough to see my kids doing something more constructive with they time than bids."
安德烈口型同步的歌词之一来自 1998 年的《Slippin'》——“如果我足够坚强，我会活得足够长，看到我的孩子们利用时间做一些比投标更有建设性的事情。”
The one thing that was repeated in news stories about Andre is that he'd gone to Tops that day to do something for his three-year-old son.
关于安德烈的新闻报道中重复出现的一件事是，他那天去托普斯为他三岁的儿子做点什么。
He was there to pick up a birthday cake.
他去那里取生日蛋糕。
He didn't live long enough.
他活得不够长。
[MUSIC - DMX, "SLIPPIN'"] Ira Glass Bim Adewunmi is one of the producers of our show.
[音乐 - DMX，“SLIPPIN”] Ira Glass Bim Adewunmi 是我们节目的制作人之一。
Katherine Massey, age 72.
凯瑟琳·梅西，72 岁。
After the Buffalo shooting, the fact that was repeated about Kat Massey was that she had written a letter to the newspaper calling for gun control about a year before she was murdered.
布法罗枪击事件发生后，有关凯特·马西的事实被重复，即她在被谋杀前大约一年给报纸写了一封信，呼吁实行枪支管制。
When we started putting together today's program, talking to people who knew Kat Massey, and reading some of the many, many letters to the editor that she wrote, and all the different things that she cared about, we immediately thought of the writer Eve Ewing.
当我们开始整理今天的节目时，与认识凯特·梅西的人交谈，阅读她写给编辑的许多信，以及她关心的所有不同的事情，我们立即想到了作家伊芙·尤因。
Here she is.
她在这里。
Probably like a lot of people, and maybe in particular like a lot of Black people, I've been turning away from the news from Buffalo.
可能像很多人一样，尤其是像很多黑人一样，我一直对布法罗的新闻不理会。
It felt too hurtful to sit with.
坐在一起感觉太痛苦了。
But then, when the show reached out and told me about Kat, things changed.
但后来，当节目联系我并告诉我有关凯特的事情时，事情发生了变化。
I never met Katherine "Kat" Massey.
我从未见过凯瑟琳·“凯特”·梅西。
But when I read about her life, I felt a kinship with her.
但当我读到她的生活时，我感到与她有亲切感。
Because by all accounts, Kat was a certified member of a group to which I also proudly belong-- the busybody club.
因为从各方面来看，凯特是一个团体的认证成员，我也自豪地属于这个团体——爱管闲事的人俱乐部。
Aunties, literal or figurative, doers of the most, that one person you know that's all up on everything, not for the sake of being nosy or in people's business, but someone who, when they see something that could be safer, smarter, better, more accessible, cleaner, more equitable, does something about it.
阿姨，无论是字面上的还是象征性的，都是最重要的实干家，你认识的那个人对所有事情都全力以赴，不是为了多管闲事或管别人的事，而是当他们看到一些可以更安全、更聪明、更好、更容易接近、更干净、更公平的东西时，就会采取行动。
I'm gonna give you an example.
我给你举个例子。
Here's a story people love to tell about Kat, maybe because it's a story she loved to tell about herself.
这是一个人们喜欢讲的关于凯特的故事，也许是因为这是她喜欢讲的关于她自己的故事。
But I got to hear it from her friend and frequent co-conspirator, Ms. Betty Jean Grant.
但我是从她的朋友、经常同谋的贝蒂·简·格兰特女士那里听到这一消息的。
Kat was trying to get something done, some improvements on her street.
凯特试图完成一些事情，改善她的街道。
And she wrote a letter to the governor.
她给州长写了一封信。
He was unmoved.
他不为所动。
He hit her back and was like, isn't that something a block club would normally handle?
他回击了她，心想，这不是街区俱乐部通常会处理的事情吗？
But he said, if you get your block club to write a letter, then we'll consider that letter.
但他说，如果你让你的街区俱乐部写一封信，那么我们会考虑这封信。
He assumed she had a block club when she did not.
他以为她有一个街区俱乐部，但她没有。
And so she, [LAUGHS] being the resourceful, resourceful person that she is and was, she gets letterhead that she created from the Cherry Street Block Club, and she wrote that request to the governor.
因此，她，[笑]，作为一个足智多谋、足智多谋的人，她现在和过去都是这样，她收到了樱桃街街区俱乐部制作的抬头信纸，然后她向州长写了这个请求。
On the low, the Cherry Street Block Club was, shall we say, aspirational.
可以说，樱桃街街区俱乐部在低谷是令人向往的。
It had exactly one member-- president, founder, treasurer, secretary, letterhead designer all rolled into one lady-- Katherine Massey.
它只有一位成员——总裁、创始人、财务主管、秘书、信笺设计师，全都集中在一位女士——凯瑟琳·梅西(Katherine Massey)身上。
And that turned out to be enough to get the job done.
事实证明，这足以完成工作。
Once it was approved, Kat said, oh, my god, you know?
一旦获得批准，凯特说，哦，天哪，你知道吗？
I got to form this block club.
我必须组建这个街区俱乐部。
[LAUGHTER] I got this done with a block club that doesn't exist.
[笑声]我通过一个不存在的街区俱乐部完成了这件事。
So I got to form a block club.
所以我必须组建一个街区俱乐部。
And so she did.
她也这么做了。
That's how the Cherry Street Block Club was born.
樱桃街街区俱乐部就是这样诞生的。
Now, busybody 101 is the person who's out in the park picking up trash or making sure kids have something to eat.
现在，爱管闲事的人 101 是指在公园里捡垃圾或确保孩子们有东西吃的人。
But the advanced busybody is the one who knows how to rally the people.
但先进的好管闲事者是懂得如何团结人民的人。
They understand how to build a collective vision.
他们了解如何建立集体愿景。
And they've got the charisma and persuasive talents to do it.
他们拥有做到这一点的魅力和说服力。
That was Kat-- elite level busybody.
那是凯特——精英级的好管闲事。
Let me tell you another story, this time from somebody who wasn't Kat's close friend.
让我告诉你另一个故事，这次不是凯特的密友。
Well, my name is Michael Christner, actually Mike.
嗯，我的名字是迈克尔·克里斯特纳，实际上是迈克。
Worked for 25 years at the New York State Department of Transportation.
在纽约州交通部工作了 25 年。
Mike Christner met Kat the way various other political officials slash school principals slash city council people met Kat.
迈克·克里斯特纳 (Mike Christner) 遇见凯特的方式就像其他政治官员、学校校长、市议会人员遇见凯特一样。
Someone came into his office and said, there's a lady downstairs waiting to meet with you.
有人走进他的办公室，说，楼下有一位女士在等你。
Mike had been assigned to a project near Kat's house.
迈克被分配到凯特家附近的一个项目。
What was the official title of the project?
该项目的正式名称是什么？
I don't remember what the official title was.
我不记得官方名称是什么了。
Usually, our titles are very long and very boring.
通常，我们的标题都很长而且很无聊。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Michael Christner So it was something like replacement of the railing on top of the retaining wall along state highway blank, blank, blank.
迈克尔·克里斯特纳（Michael Christner）所以这就像更换沿着国道的挡土墙顶部的栏杆，空白，空白，空白。
So it would make no sense.
所以这没有任何意义。
And she found out-- I'm not sure how, but she found out that we had this project.
她发现了——我不知道是怎么发现的，但她发现我们有这个项目。
And she came in.
她进来了。
And sat down and talked to us, and actually asked us or told us, what are you going to do for me, and for us, and for my neighborhood?
坐下来和我们交谈，实际上问我们或告诉我们，你们要为我、为我们、为我的邻居做什么？
Kat's house faced the highway-- like, sit on your front porch looking at a highway-type faced the highway.
凯特的房子面向高速公路——就像，坐在你的前廊上，看着面向高速公路的高速公路类型。
And she was tired of it.
她已经厌倦了。
Her neighborhood, like a lot of Black neighborhoods in the United States, has an expressway cutting through it.
她的社区和美国的许多黑人社区一样，有一条高速公路穿过它。
The part that ran by Kat's house was built out in the 1960s, a period when the federal government was incentivizing highway expansion in a way that often involved bisecting or flat out bulldozing communities of color, sometimes incidentally, sometimes on purpose.
Kat 家附近的部分建于 20 世纪 60 年代，当时联邦政府鼓励高速公路扩建，其方式经常涉及平分或平推有色人种社区，有时是偶然的，有时是故意的。
Between Kat's house and all the cars, there was a rusting railing that was falling apart.
在凯特的房子和所有汽车之间，有一道生锈的栏杆，已经快要散架了。
So somehow or other, Kat figured out the guy who she could talk to about it.
不管怎样，凯特找到了可以和她谈论这件事的人。
And she used her tried and true method-- she showed up in his office.
她用了她屡试不爽的方法——她出现在他的办公室。
And she brought a friend with her.
她还带来了一个朋友。
Remember, collective vision.
请记住，集体愿景。
As Mike recalls it, they sat down, reached into a bag, and pulled out a piece of kente cloth.
迈克回忆道，他们坐下来，把手伸进袋子里，拿出一块肯特布。
They put it down in front of him.
他们把它放在他面前。
Yes, it was.
是的，确实如此。
Eve Ewing And what did they say?
伊芙·尤因 他们说什么？
Kat looked at me.
凯特看着我。
And Kat asked, what are you going to do with this?
凯特问，你打算用这个做什么？
How can you incorporate this into your project?
您如何将其合并到您的项目中？
I mean, I assume that up to that moment, you had no plans to incorporate any type of kente cloth.
我的意思是，我假设在那一刻之前，您还没有计划采用任何类型的肯特布。
I've never done anything like that before, but I was elated, actually.
我以前从未做过这样的事，但实际上我很高兴。
And I looked at this as an opportunity.
我认为这是一个机会。
The fact that Mike saw this moment as an opportunity, that was something Kat brought out in people.
事实上，迈克将这一刻视为一个机会，这是凯特在人们身上表现出来的。
Kat's sister, Barbara, says that one of Kat's many catchphrases was, "this is a question-suggestion." I love this phrase.
凯特的妹妹芭芭拉说，凯特的众多口头禅之一是“这是一个问题建议”。我喜欢这句话。
It's brilliant, it's inviting, and it's assertive.
它很出色，很吸引人，而且很自信。
It says, I have a vision, but figure it out with me.
它说，我有一个愿景，但请和我一起实现它。
What Kat couldn't have known before she met Mike was that by recruiting him to be on Team Busybody, she was also helping him see his vision through.
在遇见迈克之前，凯特不可能知道的是，通过招募他加入 Busybody 团队，她也在帮助他实现自己的愿景。
Mike, and I mean this in the most flattering way possible, is a transportation nerd.
迈克，我的意思是以最讨人喜欢的方式，是一个运输书呆子。
This dude is passionate.
这哥们儿真热情。
A couple of months before this time, I was in Minneapolis-Saint Paul.
几个月前，我在明尼阿波利斯-圣保罗。
And I looked at the railings and the public streets that they have, and I noticed that they had a lot of interesting railing art-- art on the railings, and art on the walls.
我看着他们的栏杆和公共街道，我注意到他们有很多有趣的栏杆艺术——栏杆上的艺术，墙上的艺术。
Do you often, when you travel or you go to different places, do you look at railings a lot?
当您旅行或去不同的地方时，您是否经常经常看栏杆？
Oh, I look at everything.
哦，我什么都看。
Even as a kid, I used to stare out the window as, like, driving down the highway.
甚至当我还是个孩子的时候，我就常常盯着窗外，就像在高速公路上开车一样。
And then she walked in and showed me this kente cloth.
然后她走进来给我看了这块肯特布。
And I-- one and one equaled two.
而我——一加一等于二。
It seemed like a perfect match.
这看起来是完美的搭配。
Mike told Kat that the exact kente cloth pattern would be hard to replicate-- too many fine lines to be rendered in concrete.
迈克告诉凯特，确切的肯特布图案很难复制——太多的细线无法在混凝土中呈现。
But they brainstormed and came up with something else-- Adinkra symbols from Ghana representing different principles and ideas, like a Sankofa bird with the words, "go back and retrieve." They thought the symbols and words would be cool to look at, but also achieve Kat's goal of inspiring people in the neighborhood to learn a bit about West African heritage and the Black diaspora.
但他们集思广益，想出了别的东西——来自加纳的 Adinkra 符号代表了不同的原则和想法，就像桑科法鸟一样，上面写着“回去并取回”。他们认为这些符号和文字看起来很酷，而且也实现了凯特的目标，即激励附近的人们了解一些西非传统和黑人侨民。
They worked together, and the plan was approved-- amazing.
他们共同努力，计划获得批准——太棒了。
The end.
结束。
Psych.
心理。
This is the government.
这就是政府。
Of course it took forever.
当然，这花了很长时间。
And Kat wasn't going to let up.
凯特不会放松。
Getting her plan in place wasn't enough.
使她的计划到位还不够。
Well, Kat would call us occasionally, about every-- every three or six months, ask us to give her an update.
好吧，凯特偶尔会打电话给我们，大约每隔三到六个月，要求我们向她提供最新情况。
How are things going?
进展如何？
How are things coming along?
事情进展如何？
When can we expect something?
我们什么时候可以期待一些事情？
Not quite realizing the process that we go through and how long it takes.
不太清楚我们经历的过程以及需要多长时间。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Michael Christner However, she was still very supportive.
然而，迈克尔·克里斯特纳（Michael Christner）仍然非常支持。
I mean, she'd always walk into the room with a big smile on her face.
我的意思是，她走进房间时总是脸上挂着灿烂的笑容。
And she was-- while she wanted things, she wasn't demanding or pushy.
她是——虽然她想要一些东西，但她并不苛求或咄咄逼人。
She had a personality that you really wanted to help.
她的个性让你很想帮助她。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Michael Christner You wanted to help her.
迈克尔·克里斯特纳 你想帮助她。
And you said 25 years was your amount of time at the Department, is that correct?
你说你在该部门工作了 25 年，对吗？
25--
25--
In that 25 years, how many times would you say you had a resident calling frequently to check up on you with the progress of a project?
在那25年里，您会说有多少次有居民经常打电话来询问您项目的进展情况？
She is the only one.
她是唯一的一个。
She would always send us a Christmas card--
她总是给我们寄一张圣诞贺卡——
Wow.
哇。
Michael Christner --every year, even after the project was completed.
迈克尔·克里斯特纳——每年，甚至在项目完成后也是如此。
And she'd address it to me and the A-Team-- that's what she called us.
她会向我和 A 团队——她就是这么称呼我们的。
[LAUGHS] Did anybody else send you Christmas cards to your office?
[笑]有其他人给你寄圣诞贺卡到你的办公室吗？
Nobody.
没有人。
Eve Ewing Nobody.
伊芙·尤因 无人问津。
Wow, not even the streets and sanitation people?
哇，连街道和环卫工人都没有吗？
Or are you guys, like, rivals with them?
或者你们是他们的竞争对手吗？
Well, I wouldn't call it rivals.
好吧，我不会称其为竞争对手。
But we-- we do a mutual job.
但我们——我们是共同的工作。
In 2012, Kat wrote her own obituary.
2012年，凯特写了自己的讣告。
I'm going to read you some excerpts, a little bit of what she wanted us to know about her.
我将给你们读一些摘录，一些她想让我们了解的关于她的事情。
Here it is.
这里是。
Kat did not hesitate from being a committee of one.
凯特毫不犹豫地加入了一个委员会。
Once, she picketed her landlord's restaurant for the lack of heat in her apartment.
有一次，她因公寓缺乏暖气而对房东的餐厅进行了纠察。
One of her proudest moments in a time when she nearly got cold feet was her appearance as Ms. Broc-cooli-- her invention.
在她几乎临阵退缩的那段时期，她最自豪的时刻之一就是她作为布罗克·库利女士的出现——她的发明。
That's broccoli with the word cool in it.
那是西兰花，里面有“酷”这个词。
It's a pun-- at a health assembly at the Dr. Lydia T.
这是一个双关语——在 Lydia T 博士的健康大会上。
Wright School.
莱特学校。
Her rented broccoli costume was accessorized by sunglasses and leopard gloves.
她租来的西兰花服装配有太阳镜和豹纹手套。
She performed the rap song written by her for the occasion.
她表演了她为这个场合写的说唱歌曲。
She often said she was a single parent with 35,000 adopted children attending Buffalo's public schools.
她经常说她是一位单亲家长，有 35,000 名被收养的孩子在布法罗的公立学校就读。
Kat was an upbeat people person with a well-used smile.
凯特是一个乐观的人，总是面带微笑。
She was not an inside the box individual, as her home's unusual decorations, such as a knight in armor, demonstrated.
她不是一个封闭的人，正如她家里不寻常的装饰（例如身穿盔甲的骑士）所证明的那样。
And oh, yes, she didn't mind expressing her opinion-- in newspaper editorials, at school board and community meetings, at Blue Cross Blue Shield, where she worked, in the barber shop, at bus stops, in train stations, via online blogs, or wherever.
哦，是的，她不介意表达自己的观点——在报纸社论、学校董事会和社区会议、她工作的蓝十字蓝盾、理发店、公共汽车站、火车站、通过在线博客或任何地方。
Kat wrote another thing about her own passing-- a letter to her family encouraging them to prepare for the idea of her being gone.
凯特还写了一封关于她去世的事情——一封写给家人的信，鼓励他们为她的去世做好准备。
She said, I don't know why Patti had to leave first.
她说，我不知道为什么帕蒂必须先离开。
But my prayer is for me to be the next to go.
但我祈祷我是下一个离开的人。
I'm overdue.
我已经逾期了
I told Patti, don't let me be a wimp when it's my time.
我告诉帕蒂，到了我该做的时候，别让我成为一个懦夫。
And don't none of you be wimps, either.
你们也不要成为懦夫。
That last part is underlined.
最后一部分有下划线。
I told you earlier that when I saw news about Buffalo, I would look away.
我之前告诉过你，当我看到有关布法罗的新闻时，我会移开视线。
Looking away can be a thing you have to do sometimes to protect yourself.
有时为了保护自己，你必须把目光移开。
But looking away forever also makes it impossible to really grieve.
但永远移开目光也让人无法真正悲伤。
Grief requires you to hold on to something, to sit with it, to look at it, consider it, cry, be mad.
悲伤需要你抓住某些东西，坐在它旁边，看着它，考虑它，哭泣，生气。
And I get the sense that Kat would have really, really wanted us to do all those things.
我感觉到凯特真的非常希望我们做所有这些事情。
Because she didn't look away.
因为她没有移开视线。
Kat showed up.
凯特出现了。
We need people like Kat-- the people who aren't paid to care, who aren't experts who know everything.
我们需要像凯特这样的人——那些没有报酬的人，他们不是无所不知的专家。
They're just the folks who are willing to make the sign, meet the principal, call the governor, put on the rapping broccoli costume.
他们只是那些愿意做标语、会见校长、打电话给州长、穿上说唱西兰花服装的人。
The few, the proud, the busybodies.
少数人、骄傲的人、爱管闲事的人。
Eve Ewing in Chicago.
伊芙·尤因在芝加哥。
Her website is eveewing.com.
她的网站是 eveewing.com。
Coming up, a man and a deacon get into a car.
很快，一名男子和一名执事上了车。
Money is exchanged.
钱是兑换的。
The man is confused.
男人很困惑。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Our program today is about the 10 people killed at Tops grocery in Buffalo this May.
我们今天的节目是关于今年 5 月在布法罗 Tops 杂货店被杀的 10 人。
I think the world moved on from that event a little too quickly.
我认为世界从那次事件中走出来有点太快了。
And today, we're talking about things about them that get left out when we speed past these moments of mass violence.
今天，我们谈论的是有关他们的事情，当我们快速经历这些大规模暴力时刻时，这些事情就被忽略了。
Small things, like Margus Morrison, 52, a school bus aide, father of six.
小事，比如 52 岁的马格斯·莫里森 (Margus Morrison)，他是校车助手、六个孩子的父亲。
Several people remember him as bubbly, funny, though his cousin and his brother, Frederick, said OK, sometimes he really wasn't as funny as he thought.
很多人都记得他活泼、有趣，尽管他的表弟和兄弟弗雷德里克说，好吧，有时他真的没有他想象的那么有趣。
Well, you know how you tell a joke, but it's only humor to you?
好吧，你知道如何讲笑话，但这对你来说只是幽默？
But just to make you feel good, we'll laugh with you anyway?
但为了让你感觉良好，我们还是会和你一起笑吗？
Ira Glass Do you remember any of his jokes?
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 你还记得他讲过的笑话吗？
I don't.
我不知道。
They were corny, but just laugh with him anyway.
他们虽然很老套，但还是和他一起笑吧。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Fredrick did remember some of his brother's dirty jokes, but didn't want to share those on the radio.
弗雷德里克确实记得他哥哥的一些黄色笑话，但不想在广播中分享。
The brothers, they were two years apart.
兄弟俩相差两岁。
And they saw each other all the time.
他们一直见面。
Every day.
每天。
Ira Glass For real?
艾拉·格拉斯 真的吗？
Every day?
每天？
Every day, every chance we get.
每一天，每一个机会。
You see him, you see me.
你看到他，你也看到我。
That's why people used to think we were twins, 'cause we always together.
这就是为什么人们过去认为我们是双胞胎，因为我们总是在一起。
Yeah.
是的。
Frederick And we look alike.
弗雷德里克 我们看起来很像。
And we look alike.
而且我们长得很像。
Margus would text him or call him, saying, open the back door.
马格斯会给他发短信或打电话给他，说，打开后门。
And they'd sit and chat in Frederick's living room, Margus on the brown recliner, Frederick on the couch.
他们坐在弗雷德里克的客厅里聊天，马格斯坐在棕色躺椅上，弗雷德里克坐在沙发上。
They'd watch TV.
他们会看电视。
They liked stand-up.
他们喜欢单口站立。
They listened to music together.
他们一起听音乐。
That's what Frederick says he misses the most-- something that doesn't have a particular name.
这就是弗雷德里克说他最怀念的东西——没有特定名称的东西。
Not a dramatic memory with his brother, just hanging out, the daily-ness of it.
和他哥哥在一起的回忆并不是什么戏剧性的，只是一起出去玩，很平常的事。
Geraldine Chapman Talley Ira Glass Next up-- Geraldine Chapman Talley, age 62.
杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利 (Geraldine Chapman Talley) 艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 下一位——杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利 (Geraldine Chapman Talley)，62 岁。
People in Buffalo told us that pretty much everybody who's there who's Black knows somebody who died May 14.
布法罗的人们告诉我们，几乎所有在那里的黑人都认识 5 月 14 日去世的人。
And the effects of violence like this, a gunman showing up to specifically kill Black people, ripple out from the families involved to those like that who knew them, to people all over the country, especially Black people who are thinking it through.
像这样的暴力事件，一名枪手出现专门杀害黑人，其影响从相关家庭波及到那些认识他们的人，波及到全国各地的人们，尤其是正在思考这一问题的黑人。
For his story, Kiese Laymon wanted to talk through one fact in particular about Geraldine Chapman Talley's life with someone he knows.
在他的故事中，基斯·雷蒙想讲述一个事实，特别是关于杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利和他认识的人的生活。
Geraldine Chapman Talley, Gerri by her friends and family.
杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利 (Geraldine Chapman Talley)，她的朋友和家人的杰里 (Gerri)。
She was the seventh of nine children and graduated from East High School in 1977.
她在九个孩子中排行第七，1977 年从东部高中毕业。
She was an excellent cook and baker.
她是一位出色的厨师和面包师。
She had a daughter, a son, and a stepdaughter.
她有一个女儿、一个儿子和一个继女。
Not long after learning she was about to become a grandmother for the first time, Chapman Talley was murdered in a Tops supermarket in Buffalo, New York.
在得知自己即将成为祖母后不久，查普曼·塔利在纽约州布法罗的一家 Tops 超市被谋杀。
Here's the part that felt most familiar and ultimately most terrifying about this American story.
这是这个美国故事中让人最熟悉、最可怕的部分。
Gerri Chapman Talley was born in Grove Hill, Alabama, and moved to Buffalo when she was 11.
格里·查普曼·塔利 (Gerri Chapman Talley) 出生于阿拉巴马州格罗夫希尔，11 岁时搬到布法罗。
That move, Grove Hill, Alabama, to Buffalo, New York, I heard that.
我听说从阿拉巴马州格罗夫山搬到纽约州布法罗。
And I had the same reaction as my friend, Zandria Robinson, who, like me, left the deep south for the north.
我和我的朋友赞德里亚·罗宾逊有同样的反应，他和我一样，离开了南方腹地前往北方。
Zandria was raised right up the road.
赞德里亚就在路边升起。
I'm from Jackson, Mississippi, and she's from Memphis, Tennessee.
我来自密西西比州杰克逊，她来自田纳西州孟菲斯。
I mean, my immediate thought was just, we went all the way up there just to die the same way that we were trying not to die.
我的意思是，我的第一反应是，我们一路走到那里只是为了死，就像我们试图不死一样。
Wow.
哇。
I wanted to talk to Zandria because she wrote the book Chocolate Cities with Dr. Marcus Hunter.
我想和赞德里亚谈谈，因为她和马库斯·亨特博士一起写了《巧克力城市》一书。
They drew the map on Black migratory paths in America.
他们绘制了美国黑人迁徙路线的地图。
Zandria is a professor of African-American Studies at Georgetown, so that's Dr. Robinson to y'all.
赞德里亚是乔治城大学非裔美国人研究教授，所以这就是你们的罗宾逊博士。
On the Black map they drew, Buffalo isn't the North or even the Northeast.
在他们绘制的黑色地图上，布法罗不是北方，甚至不是东北部。
It's part of something called the up south.
它是所谓“南方”的一部分。
And Alabama, like Mississippi, like Memphis, is a part of something called the deep south.
阿拉巴马州和密西西比州、孟菲斯一样，属于“南方腹地”的一部分。
Zandria told me Ms. Chapman Talley's people made the move later than most, in 1971.
赞德里亚告诉我，查普曼·塔利女士的人于 1971 年搬迁，比大多数人都晚。
So Buffalo, there was a bunch of Black people there already.
布法罗，那里已经有一群黑人了。
Yeah.
是的。
Zandria Robinson They had cultivated a Black side of town.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊 他们培育了城镇的黑人一面。
Right.
正确的。
Zandria Robinson They found up there, definitely an up south, or definitely a north that was the south.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊 他们发现那里，绝对是南方，或者绝对是南方的北方。
Definitely an up south.
绝对是南边的。
Zandria Robinson Definitely an up south.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊（Zandria Robinson） 绝对是南方人。
But it was still something different.
但这仍然是不同的。
I told Zandria that when I talked to Chapman Talley's family, I heard the story of how the Chapmans arrived in Buffalo a few different ways.
我告诉赞德里亚，当我与查普曼·塔利的家人交谈时，我听到了查普曼一家如何通过几种不同的方式到达布法罗的故事。
Chapman Talley's niece, Tamika Harper, says the family was coming up to Niagara Falls from Alabama for a family vacation.
查普曼·塔利的侄女塔米卡·哈珀说，他们一家人正从阿拉巴马州来到尼亚加拉瀑布度假。
Something happened to the car, she says.
她说，车子出事了。
Chapman Talley's father found a job paying better than Alabama, and ended up staying.
查普曼·塔利的父亲找到了一份比阿拉巴马州工资更高的工作，并最终留下来。
Hattie Chapman Steele, Chapman Talley's older sister by six years, recalls a slightly different story.
查普曼·塔利六岁的姐姐海蒂·查普曼·斯蒂尔回忆起一个略有不同的故事。
She says that the family moved to Buffalo because their mother found out she had a sister in Buffalo.
她说，全家搬到了布法罗，因为他们的母亲发现她在布法罗有一个妹妹。
Zandria said it's hard to really grasp the enormity or the psychic toll of these migrations, whether one was moving up and over a few counties or all the way across the country.
赞德里亚说，很难真正理解这些移民的严重性或精神损失，无论是向上移动并跨越几个县还是一路穿越全国。
You know, in my father's case, I'm leaving Glendora, Mississippi, and I'm going to Memphis.
你知道，就我父亲而言，我将离开密西西比州的格伦多拉，前往孟菲斯。
Yes.
是的。
Zandria Robinson That is, for somebody who lived the county, two counties over from where Emmett Till was murdered, that's a big move.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊（Zandria Robinson）：对于居住在距埃米特·蒂尔被谋杀地两个县的县的人来说，这是一个重大举措。
It's huge.
它是巨大的。
Zandria Robinson It's a huge move.
Zandria Robinson 这是一个巨大的举动。
So to imagine the Chapmans saying, all right, we're going from the bottom to the top, that's symbolic.
所以想象一下查普曼夫妇说，好吧，我们要从下到上，这是象征性的。
It's geographical.
这是地理上的。
It's cognitive.
这是认知的。
And it meant that Ms. Gerri ended up with a different kind of life than she would have had in Alabama.
这意味着格里女士最终过上了与阿拉巴马州不同的生活。
Gerri's older sister, Hattie, said that for her, the move to Buffalo was difficult.
格里的姐姐海蒂说，对她来说，搬到布法罗很困难。
Hattie was 18 years old.
海蒂当时 18 岁。
And though she was eager to see what Buffalo had to offer, she was still deeply connected to Alabama.
尽管她渴望看到布法罗所提供的一切，但她仍然与阿拉巴马州有着深厚的联系。
But Gerri was much younger, and she took to Buffalo quickly.
但格里年轻得多，她很快就喜欢上了布法罗。
Zandria and I talked a while about what young Gerri's life might have been like in Buffalo.
赞德里亚和我聊了一会儿年轻的格里在布法罗的生活。
In our deep south, it was ritual to sit on a porch cradled by humidity, or in an idling Impala, considering the journey of Black folk who left home and never made it back.
在我们的南方腹地，坐在潮湿的门廊上或坐在闲置的黑斑羚上是一种仪式，考虑到黑人离开家乡再也没有回来的旅程。
And, like, this is the thing I love about talking to you because there's something either deeply Black American, deeply Southern Black American about what we're doing now, which is a kind of attempt at eulogy, elegy, really loving someone that we did not particularly individually know know, but we felt like we might have known part of their journey.
就像，这就是我喜欢和你们谈论的事情，因为我们现在所做的事情要么是深深的美国黑人，要么是深深的美国南方黑人，这是一种悼词、挽歌的尝试，真正爱一个我们并不特别了解的人，但我们觉得我们可能知道他们旅程的一部分。
We say these things, we know these people.
我们说这些话，我们认识这些人。
And I'm just hurt a lot that we don't get to know more about her, from her.
我们无法从她那里更多地了解她，这让我很受伤。
You write a lot about what we are owed in life as folks from-- Black folks from the deep south, and what kinds of-- I'm interested in-- you can talk to me about what kinds of death are we owed when we leave home, or are carried from home for a different kind of freedom?
你写了很多关于我们作为来自南方腹地的黑人的人在生活中所欠的东西，以及我感兴趣的类型，你可以跟我谈谈当我们离开家时，或者为了一种不同的自由而被带离家时，我们欠什么样的死亡？
People always want to talk about this repair, and reparation, or whatnot.
人们总是想谈论这种修复、赔偿或诸如此类的事情。
What kind of deaths are we owed, whether we stay home in the deep south, and particularly in this situation, whether we go to these corners of the nation that might be a little bit different or a lot different from our Southern homes?
我们应该承担什么样的死亡，无论我们是否留在南方腹地的家里，特别是在这种情况下，我们是否会去这个国家的这些与我们南方家园可能有点不同或有很大不同的角落？
I think we're owed the death of our choosing.
我认为我们应该选择死亡。
(WHISPERS) Yes.
（低声）是的。
Zandria Robinson And that might seem hyperbolic because, of course, God and all of that.
Zandria Robinson 这可能看起来很夸张，因为当然有上帝和所有这些。
But I would say that of all the things, I would hope that people would be able to be peaceful, quiet, surrounded by music, love, and family, chosen and otherwise, and whoever else they wanted to be there.
但我想说的是，在所有事情中，我希望人们能够平和、安静，被音乐、爱和家庭包围，选择或其他方式，以及他们想要的其他人。
(WHISPERS) Yes.
（低声）是的。
Zandria Robinson Being able to move into the light in ways of their own choosing.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊 能够以自己选择的方式走向光明。
That's what this country owes to all Black people as reparations, to be able to choose.
这就是这个国家对所有黑人的赔偿，让他们能够选择。
But this manner-- yes, to be lynched-- that's all the way up in the corner, next to Canada.
但这种方式——是的，被私刑处死——一直在加拿大旁边的角落里。
Yeah.
是的。
Zandria Robinson And I know what America is.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊 我知道美国是什么。
Right.
正确的。
Zandria Robinson I wasn't like, oh my god, this happened up north.
Zandria Robinson 我当时并没有想，天啊，这件事发生在北方。
Right, right-- Zandria Robinson Obviously, I know what America is.
对，对——赞德里亚·罗宾逊（Zandria Robinson） 显然，我知道美国是什么。
Yes.
是的。
Zandria Robinson I've always known this.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊 我一直都知道这一点。
Yet to go so far, and then to not have a choice, to have that choice made for you in that way, that's not acceptable, to take people like this.
然而走了这么远，然后没有选择，以这种方式为你做出选择，这是不可接受的，接受这样的人。
And I think that being able to choose our exits, choose which way we going to go off the stage--
我认为能够选择我们的出口，选择我们离开舞台的方式——
Yes.
是的。
Zandria Robinson --is so essential.
赞德里亚·罗宾逊——非常重要。
Geraldine Chapman Talley did not get to choose how she left Buffalo.
杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利无法选择如何离开布法罗。
Tamika shared some of the regular texts she'd exchanged with her aunt.
塔米卡分享了她与姨妈经常交换的一些短信。
And two in particular got to me.
其中有两个特别吸引我。
In one of Chapman Talley's messages to her niece, she rejoices at her recent negative COVID tests, and thanks her niece for all the care and concern as she battles a prolonged back problem.
在查普曼·塔利给侄女的一封信中，她对最近的新冠病毒检测结果呈阴性感到高兴，并感谢侄女在她与长期背部问题作斗争时给予的所有照顾和关心。
"Happy to say I'm negative for COVID," Chapman Talley texted Harper.
查普曼·塔利给哈珀发短信说：“很高兴地说我对新冠病毒呈阴性。”
"Just to hear a concerned family member voice can feel they are for real.
“只要听到家人关心的声音就能感受到他们是真实的。
Means the world to me.
对我来说意味着世界。
You have always checked on me throughout my years of illness.
在我生病的这些年里，您一直在照顾我。
There will always be a place in my" heart emoji "for you."
我的“心里表情”里永远都会有一席之地是属于你的。
"Aw," Harper responded to the text from her aunt.
“噢，”哈珀回复了她姨妈发来的短信。
"No thanks needed, my auntie slash mommy.
“不用谢，我阿姨砍了妈妈。
I love you." Blowing kisses emoji.
我爱你。”飞吻表情符号。
My auntie slash mommy.
我阿姨砍了妈妈。
A few weeks after 10 Black people are murdered in a grocery store in Western New York for being Black people in a grocery store in Western New York, nothing feels more deeply southern than the "my" preceding auntie slash mommy.
几周前，10 名黑人因身为黑人而在纽约州西部的一家杂货店被谋杀，没有什么比“我的”前阿姨砍妈妈更能感受到南方的感觉了。
That "my" desperately wants Geraldine Chapman Talley, a Black woman born in Grove Hill, Alabama, whose heartmeat seems as uniquely shaped as her migration journey to Buffalo-- to know she is cherished, connected, and most horrifying of all, safe.
这个“我的”迫切希望杰拉尔丁·查普曼·塔利（Geraldine Chapman Talley），一位出生于阿拉巴马州格罗夫山的黑人女性，她的心似乎与她前往布法罗的移民之旅一样独特——知道她被珍惜，与人联系在一起，但最可怕的是，安全。
Kiese Laymon, he's the author of the memoir Heavy and other books.
Kiese Laymon，他是回忆录《Heavy》和其他书籍的作者。
Ruth Whitfield, 86 years old.
露丝·惠特菲尔德，86 岁。
There's this line used over and over about the oldest victim, Ruth Whitfield, that she'd gone to Tops after visiting her husband that morning in a nursing home.
关于最年长的受害者露丝·惠特菲尔德(Ruth Whitfield)，人们反复使用这句话，说她那天早上在疗养院探望她的丈夫后去了托普斯。
BA Parker wanted to talk to her son, Garnell Jr., about what seemed to be a very long love story.
BA Parker 想和她的儿子小加内尔 (Garnell Jr.) 谈论一个看似很长的爱情故事。
I sat down at Garnell Jr.'s dining room table hoping to hear stories about Ruth Whitfield and her husband, Garnell Sr., how they met, and who they were before having four children, and before the nursing home visits.
我坐在小加内尔的餐桌旁，希望听听有关露丝·惠特菲尔德和她的丈夫老加内尔的故事，他们是如何认识的，以及在生四个孩子之前和去疗养院探访之前他们是谁。
But instead, I learned about how she loved secondhand shopping and singing the hymn, "Peace Be Still," how she got her GED late in life, and was adamant that no one call her Ruth, always Mrs. Whitfield, or how she once desperately rushed onto a football field when a teenage Garnell Jr. got injured during a game.
但相反，我了解到她多么喜欢二手货购物，喜欢唱赞美诗“Peace Be Still”，她如何在晚年获得 GED，并且坚决不让任何人叫她露丝，而总是叫她惠特菲尔德夫人，或者当十几岁的小加内尔 (Garnell Jr.) 在一场比赛中受伤时，她如何绝望地冲上足球场。
And I open my eyes, and I look up at my mom standing over me [LAUGHS] in the middle of the field and all of these people.
我睁开眼睛，抬头看到我妈妈站在田野中央，站在我身边[笑]，还有所有这些人。
My mom gonna run out on the field.
我妈妈会跑到球场上。
[LAUGHS] And I said, mom, what are you doing out here?
[笑]我说，妈妈，你在这儿做什么？
But--
但是——
Garnell Jr. is the second oldest, and a retired fire commissioner for the City of Buffalo.
小加内尔 (Garnell Jr.) 是布法罗市第二年长的消防专员，也是一名退休消防专员。
And he sat with me in his flip flops while his tiny dog rested at his feet.
他穿着人字拖和我坐在一起，而他的小狗则躺在他的脚边。
And instead of a love story about his parents, he told me a story about a car.
他给我讲的不是关于他父母的爱情故事，而是关于汽车的故事。
When Garnell Jr.'s dad first moved into the nursing home, Mrs. Whitfield wanted a car.
当小加内尔的父亲第一次搬进疗养院时，惠特菲尔德夫人想要一辆汽车。
So whatever, she got her first car in her name.
不管怎样，她以自己的名义得到了第一辆车。
Wait, were you at the dealership with her?
等等，你和她一起在经销店吗？
Oh, yeah, we were there.
哦，是的，我们在那里。
We were there.
我们在那里。
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Because I think the first time-- because she had never done this before.
因为我认为这是第一次——因为她以前从未这样做过。
And I didn't-- and she never had credit.
而我没有——而且她也从来没有获得过荣誉。
She never had credit.
她从来没有信用。
It was my dad's credit.
这是我父亲的功劳。
She never worked.
她从来没有工作过。
She never had credit.
她从来没有信用。
No. So yeah, I was there.
不，是的，我当时就在那里。
So Mrs. Whitfield was in her early 80s, in a car dealership with three of her adult children, going back and forth about what car to get.
惠特菲尔德夫人 80 岁出头，和她的三个成年孩子在一家汽车经销店里，反复考虑要买什么车。
She wanted something with a little flair, but her kids were pleading with her to be sensible.
她想要一些有一点天赋的东西，但她的孩子们恳求她理智一点。
And so she ended up getting a Buick, which was fine.
所以她最终买了一辆别克，这很好。
What she bought-- she bought the SUV because she thought she would be-- it would be easier to get my father and take him on visits to the home or whatever from the nursing home.
她买的东西——她买了这辆SUV，因为她认为她会——这样会更容易找到我父亲，带他去疗养院探望或做其他事情。
But as it turns out, she wasn't able to do that with him.
但事实证明，她无法对他做到这一点。
At her age, it wasn't physically feasible for Mrs. Whitfield to help him into the car.
以惠特菲尔德夫人的年龄，她不可能扶他上车。
And so she regretted getting the SUV.
所以她后悔买了这辆SUV。
She hated-- she ended up hating it.
她讨厌——她最终讨厌它。
She hated it because that's not really what she wanted.
她讨厌这样，因为那不是她真正想要的。
But that was kind of what Mrs. Whitfield always did-- take care of others, get the car she didn't really want because it could possibly help someone else.
但这就是惠特菲尔德夫人一直做的事情——照顾别人，买她并不真正想要的车，因为它可能会帮助别人。
See, Mrs. Whitfield grew up on Grand Island, the small island right between Buffalo and Niagara Falls.
看，惠特菲尔德夫人在格兰德岛长大，格兰德岛是布法罗和尼亚加拉瀑布之间的小岛。
And even as a kid, she was caring for siblings and cousins.
即使还是个孩子的时候，她就开始照顾兄弟姐妹和表兄弟姐妹。
And when she got married at 19, same thing.
当她19岁结婚时，同样的事情。
She was taking care of her husband and kids.
她要照顾丈夫和孩子。
Her house was the one that everyone in the neighborhood would come to.
她家是附近每个人都会来的地方。
So to Garnell Jr., hearing his mom described as a doting wife, sure.
对于小加内尔来说，听到他的妈妈被描述为一位溺爱的妻子，当然。
But it doesn't quite feel like enough.
但感觉还不够。
But they stayed together, you know?
但他们还是在一起了，你知道吗？
They stayed together.
他们呆在一起。
They loved each other.
他们彼此相爱。
And everything was not hunky dory.
一切都不是那么美好。
Everything was not-- between them, they had problems over the years, you know?
一切都不是——他们之间多年来一直存在问题，你知道吗？
And it cost them.
这让他们付出了代价。
It cost her, you know?
她为此付出了代价，你知道吗？
It cost her.
这让她付出了代价。
She sacrificed a lot of her dreams, you know?
她牺牲了很多梦想，你知道吗？
She sacrificed them to stay together, and to stay with us.
她牺牲了他们，让他们能够在一起，和我们在一起。
When my father became debilitated, it's the first time in my mom's life that she was independent, had-- had that kind of independence, where she had to pay bills.
当我父亲变得虚弱时，这是我母亲一生中第一次独立，拥有那种必须支付账单的独立性。
She became the head of the household.
她成了一家之主。
And as difficult as it might have been, it was something that she relished, I think, you know?
尽管这可能很困难，但我认为这是她喜欢的事情，你知道吗？
She got to be her own person and be in charge.
她必须做自己并负责。
Garnell Jr. watched as his mom asserted herself and figured out what she wanted.
小加内尔看着他的妈妈坚持自己的主张，并弄清楚了她想要什么。
When the staff at the nursing home would talk to Garnell Jr., his mom would get annoyed and say, you're talking to the wrong person.
当疗养院的工作人员与小加内尔交谈时，他的妈妈会生气地说，你在跟错误的人说话。
Talk to me.
跟我说话。
And she drove herself everywhere.
她自己开车到处走走。
Granted, she had three accidents this year.
诚然，她今年发生了三起事故。
But Garnell insists that at least one of them wasn't her fault.
但加内尔坚称，至少其中之一不是她的错。
She started doing things she'd never done before, like taking herself on a vacation, solo, to Florida-- a first.
她开始做以前从未做过的事情，比如独自去佛罗里达度假——这是第一次。
And it was around this time that the new, independent Mrs. Ruth Whitfield, now 83, finally went shopping for the car that she actually wanted-- a 2020 Hyundai Elantra.
大约在这个时候，现年 83 岁的新独立的露丝·惠特菲尔德夫人终于去购买了她真正想要的汽车——一辆 2020 款现代伊兰特。
And there was no fighting her on this one.
在这一点上没有人与她争斗。
When we went to get the car, the guy had a-- he had a 2019, brand-new, no miles on it, hadn't sold it.
当我们去取车时，那家伙有一辆 2019 年的全新车，没有行驶里程，还没有卖掉。
Great deal, great deal.
太棒了，太棒了。
She refused to take it because it wasn't new.
她拒绝接受，因为它不新鲜。
It wasn't-- it had to be in the current year that we were there.
不是——我们必须是在当年。
[LAUGHS] Garnell Jr. Oh, we went around and around, and said, mama, are you kidding me?
[笑]小加内尔哦，我们绕来绕去，说，妈妈，你在开玩笑吗？
This is a great deal, ma.
这是一件大事，妈妈。
They're giving you this car, and it's a great deal, ma.
他们给了你这辆车，这很划算，妈妈。
No. She would have-- she got mad.
不，她会——她会生气的。
Oh, it got to be a real thing between us.
哦，我们之间一定是真实的事情。
I said, ma, it doesn't-- no, I want it new.
我说，妈，不是——不，我想要新的。
It's got to be in the current year.
一定是今年的事。
I don't care if nobody ever drove it before.
我不在乎以前是否没有人开过它。
It's got to be in this-- and that's how she was.
一定是这样的——她就是这样。
So she got her-- she got her brand-new car, yeah.
所以她得到了她——她得到了她的全新汽车，是的。
Again, this is a brand-new car, and she is 83 years old.
再说一遍，这是一辆全新的车，而她已经83岁了。
Oh, she loved it.
哦，她喜欢它。
She got what she wanted.
她得到了她想要的。
She had the sunroof, the heated seats, you know?
她有天窗，加热座椅，你知道吗？
She-- it had to be-- she wanted black.
她——一定是——她想要黑色。
She got black.
她变黑了。
[INAUDIBLE] or something-- I want black.
[听不清]什么的——我想要黑色。
So she got her a black Hyundai Elantra.
所以她给她买了一辆黑色现代伊兰特。
And you had to know my mom.
你必须认识我妈妈。
See, her car would be full of stuff all the time.
看，她的车里总是装满了东西。
She was a thrift-- she'd go to thrift stores, and she would just buy stuff.
她是个节俭者——她会去旧货店，只买东西。
You know, she would just buy stuff.
你知道，她只会买东西。
Some of it's very nice stuff.
其中一些是非常好的东西。
But she would have stuff in the car that's been sitting in there for, you know-- you know, they--
但她会在车里放一些东西，这些东西一直放在那里，你知道——你知道，他们——
At Tops, when I saw a car similar to hers, that looked like hers, might be hers in the parking lot, I told the detectives and the police that were there cordoning off the area.
在托普斯，当我在停车场看到一辆与她的车相似、看起来像她的车、可能是她的车时，我告诉正在封锁该地区的侦探和警察。
I said, like, I see the roof of a black car sitting in that parking lot.
我说，就像，我看到停车场里停着一辆黑色汽车的车顶。
I need you to go and look at that car, and see if it's my mother's car.
我需要你去看看那辆车，看看是不是我妈妈的车。
As a former fire commissioner, he knew the police.
作为一名前消防专员，他认识警察。
And he ran down to Tops when he heard about the shooting to see if he could help.
当他听说枪击事件时，他跑到托普斯寻求帮助。
The car caught him by surprise.
这辆车让他大吃一惊。
And they said, well, how would you know?
他们说，好吧，你怎么知道？
What's the [INAUDIBLE]?
[听不清]是什么？
I said, look in the car.
我说，你看看车里。
It's going to be some kind of hat in the back window.
后窗上会放一顶帽子。
It's going to probably be handwritten signs in the windows of their car.
这可能是他们车窗上的手写标志。
You know, it would be something-- something about God, something about the Buffalo Bills.
你知道，这会是一些关于上帝的事情，一些关于布法罗比尔队的事情。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
She was a note writer.
她是一名笔记作家。
Mirrors in the house, doorways in the house, they would have notes.
房子里的镜子，房子里的门口，他们都会有笔记。
So I knew that if they saw these things in the car, that would identify the car.
所以我知道如果他们在车里看到这些东西，就能识别出这辆车。
And that's basically what happened, yeah.
这基本上就是发生的事情，是的。
Hmm.
唔。
After Mrs. Whitfield died, Garnell Jr. kept some of the notes that his mother wrote-- some that were in the car, and more directly, the one she kept in her husband's room at the nursing home.
惠特菲尔德夫人去世后，小加内尔保留了他母亲写的一些笔记——有些在车里，更直接地说，是她放在疗养院丈夫房间里的笔记。
One that stuck out read, God's got my back.
其中一则突出的内容是：上帝支持我。
She kept it in her husband's room to let everyone know not to be worried-- once again, taking care of everyone.
她把它放在丈夫的房间里，让大家知道不用担心——再一次照顾大家。
BA Parker is one of the hosts of Code Switch on NPR.
BA Parker 是 NPR 节目 Code Switch 的主持人之一。
Roberta Drury, 32 years old.
罗伯塔·德鲁里，32 岁。
She was the first person killed, and the youngest person killed.
她是第一个被杀的人，也是被杀的最年轻的人。
Roberta moved to Buffalo from outside Syracuse to care for her brother, who was ill.
罗伯塔从锡拉丘兹郊外搬到布法罗照顾生病的弟弟。
She was described in a lot of stories as vibrant, funny, joyful.
在很多故事中，她被描述为充满活力、有趣、快乐。
When we reached out to Damon Young to write about somebody for today's show, he asked specifically for Roberta.
当我们联系达蒙·杨（Damon Young）为今天的节目撰写有关某人的文章时，他特别要求罗伯塔（Roberta）。
If Roberta Drury and I happened to be acquaintances, if we were coworkers, if she were a neighbor, or if I were a new boyfriend of a cousin, the ask would have been subtle.
如果罗伯塔·德鲁里和我碰巧是熟人，如果我们是同事，如果她是邻居，或者如果我是表弟的新男友，那么这个问题就会很微妙。
If we happened to be close friends, though, I would have just came out with it.
不过，如果我们碰巧是亲密的朋友，我就会直接说出来。
Roberta, your name-- what's the story there?
罗伯塔，你的名字——那里有什么故事？
It was the second thing that struck me when first reading news stories about her.
这是第一次读到有关她的新闻报道时令我震惊的第二件事。
The first was her face, because she reminded me so much of a close friend of mine-- the smile, especially.
第一个是她的脸，因为她让我想起了我的一位密友——尤其是她的微笑。
It's eerie how a stranger can feel so familiar, so tactile from just a picture, how you can see and hear so much from a face, and how a face can sit inside of you and just stay there.
奇怪的是，一个陌生人如何仅仅从一张照片中就感到如此熟悉、如此有触觉，你如何能从一张脸上看到和听到如此多的东西，以及一张脸如何坐在你的内心并停留在那里。
But then there was her name.
但还有她的名字。
It's funny sometimes how names work.
有时名字的作用很有趣。
Names like Tiffany and Amber, for instance, feel like the '80s and the '90s, like Pringles chips, Cross Colours jeans, and Nintendos.
例如，Tiffany 和 Amber 这样的名字让人感觉像是 80 年代和 90 年代，就像 Pringles 薯片、Cross Colors jeans 和 Nintendos。
Names like Akil and Raheem feel East Coast, but not Atlanta, Miami, or Charlotte-- more like Philly, Baltimore, Brooklyn, and DC.
像阿基尔和拉希姆这样的名字让人感觉是东海岸，但不是亚特兰大、迈阿密或夏洛特——更像是费城、巴尔的摩、布鲁克林和华盛顿特区。
Roberta, today, in 2022, it feels like a vestige of an earlier era, something almost ancestral.
罗伯塔，2022 年的今天，感觉就像是早期时代的遗迹，几乎是祖传的东西。
She was adopted at 18 months into a white family.
她在 18 个月大时被一个白人家庭收养。
The name came from her birth family.
这个名字来自她的出生家庭。
And it reminds me of power and laughter and love, of generous hugs and the baked candied yams you still taste three months after Thanksgiving.
它让我想起力量、欢笑和爱，想起慷慨的拥抱和感恩节三个月后你仍然可以品尝到的烤蜜饯山药。
And I think it reminds me of those things because of the aunties, church ladies and grandmothers I've known and known of who were named that.
我认为它让我想起了这些事情，因为我认识的阿姨、教堂女士和祖母都被命名为这个名字。
The Roberta in my life is a great aunt.
我生命中的罗伯塔是一位曾祖母。
Everyone, at least everyone at New Castle, PA, calls her Birdie.
每个人，至少宾夕法尼亚州纽卡斯尔的每个人都叫她小鸟。
My family also had a Peggy, a Betty, a Ruth, and a Gladys.
我家还有一个佩吉、一个贝蒂、一个露丝和一个格拉迪斯。
It still has an Eleanor.
它仍然有一个埃莉诺。
And when the Peggies and Betties and Gladyses in our families leave us, those names usually leave us, too.
当我们家里的佩吉、贝蒂和格拉迪斯离开我们时，这些名字通常也会离开我们。
But Roberta Drury, a 32-year-old in 2022, was here.
但 2022 年 32 岁的罗伯塔·德鲁里 (Roberta Drury) 就在这里。
It's also funny how names can be predictive, which is an academic way of saying prophetic, and my way of saying that maybe Roberta was here because the world needed more Robertas-- more love, more vibrancy, more jubilance, more saying "I love you," and not just saying it, but leaning out the window and shouting it at your best friend, which is what Roberta's best friend, Krystle, said she always did.
同样有趣的是，名字是具有预测性的，这是一种学术性的表达预言的方式，我的说法是，也许罗伯塔在这里是因为世界需要更多的罗伯塔——更多的爱，更多的活力，更多的欢乐，更多地说“我爱你”，而不只是说出来，而是探出窗外，对你最好的朋友大喊，这就是罗伯塔最好的朋友克里斯特尔说的她总是这样做的。
More singing yourself to sleep, which is what Roberta's sister, Amanda, said she'd always do as a kid.
更多地唱歌入睡，罗伯塔的妹妹阿曼达说，她小时候总是这样做。
She'd sing so forcefully, so joyfully, that it would drain her into slumber.
她唱得那么有力，那么快乐，以至于让她陷入沉睡。
Sometimes, her singing would be too loud, like when she'd call her half-sister, Nancy, at work, and Roberta would belt Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" so loudly that Nancy had to run outside to answer it.
有时，她的歌声太大声，比如当她在工作中打电话给她同父异母的妹妹南希时，罗伯塔会大声唱惠特尼·休斯顿的“我想与某人跳舞”，声音太大，南希不得不跑到外面去接听。
But Nancy would always pick up because, as Roberta would say, Whitney Houston is calling.
但南希总是会接电话，因为正如罗伯塔所说，是惠特尼·休斯顿打来的。
You don't ignore Whitney.
你不会忽视惠特尼。
Talking to the people who knew her, I also learned that she didn't love her name.
与认识她的人交谈时，我还了解到她不喜欢自己的名字。
Her family knew her as Robbie.
她的家人称她为罗比。
When she got older, she chose to be called Berta.
当她长大后，她选择叫伯塔。
I get it.
我得到它。
Roberta is a hard name for a young person to have.
罗伯塔（Roberta）对于年轻人来说是一个很难起的名字。
The Robertas in my life, I can't even picture them young.
我生命中的罗伯塔斯一家，我什至无法想象他们年轻时的样子。
What I associate with that name is a product of years, decades of life.
我所联想到的这个名字是多年、几十年生活的产物。
I just wish Roberta Drury had that chance, too.
我只是希望罗伯塔·德鲁里也有这样的机会。
Damon Young is a contributing opinion writer at the Washington Post.
达蒙·杨（Damon Young）是《华盛顿邮报》的撰稿人。
Heyward Patterson, 67 years old.
海沃德·帕特森，67 岁。
A quick heads up before we start this one-- this story talks a little about the day of the shooting and the violence that day.
在我们开始这个故事之前，先快速提醒一下——这个故事谈论了枪击当天和那天的暴力事件。
Heyward Patterson was deacon at State Tabernacle Church of God in Christ, grew up in Buffalo, loved to sing.
海沃德·帕特森 (Heyward Patterson) 是州立上帝教会的执事，在布法罗长大，喜欢唱歌。
Penny Beckham, who worked with Patterson at the church, says he had a beautiful voice.
佩妮·贝克汉姆（Penny Beckham）曾在教堂与帕特森一起工作，她说帕特森的声音很优美。
"I'm a Soldier in the Army of the Lord" was a favorite of his.
《我是上帝军队中的士兵》是他的最爱。
He volunteered regularly at the soup kitchen Penny ran, Ms. Penny's Plate of Love food ministry.
他定期在佩妮经营的施食厨房（佩妮女士的爱盘食品事工）做志愿者。
Most volunteers, she said, don't spend a lot of time talking to the people who come in, some of whom are in a pretty bad way.
她说，大多数志愿者不会花很多时间与进来的人交谈，其中一些人的情况相当糟糕。
But Deacon Patterson would go in, and he would talk to each individual.
但迪肯帕特森会进去，他会和每个人交谈。
He wasn't judgmental.
他没有评判性。
He let them know that their present state was not their expected end.
他让他们知道，他们现在的状态并不是他们所期望的结局。
And he would tell them about God's love, and how God's love transformed him from who he was to who he was that day.
他会告诉他们神的爱，以及神的爱如何将他从现在的样子转变为那天的样子。
Michael Harriot, a writer for TheGrio, met somebody who watched Deacon Patterson a lot, mostly from a distance, somebody who saw him almost every day, including the day he died.
TheGrio 的作家迈克尔·哈里奥特 (Michael Harriot) 遇到了一个经常观看迪肯·帕特森 (Deacon Patterson) 的人，大多数时候是从远处看，这个人几乎每天都看到他，包括他去世的那天。
At the center of every Black neighborhood is the store.
每个黑人社区的中心都是商店。
It's not a store, but the store, a nexus that serves as the de facto gathering spot.
这不是一家商店，而是商店，一个作为事实上的聚集点的纽带。
Tops was the store, and Grady Lewis was the quintessential man in front of the store.
上衣就是这家商店，而格雷迪·刘易斯就是商店门前的典型人物。
Grady's work was what partly kept him around Tops.
格雷迪的工作是他留在托普斯的部分原因。
Almost every day, he pushed a shopping cart for miles, collecting bottles and cans.
几乎每天，他都会推着购物车行驶数英里，收集瓶子和罐头。
Then he'd bring them to Tops to collect the recycling return fee.
然后他会把它们带到 Tops 收取回收返回费。
Then he'd just hang for hours.
然后他就会挂上几个小时。
The men in front of the store see everything.
商店前面的人看到了一切。
Grady knew when security guard Aaron Salter was scheduled to begin his shift.
格雷迪知道保安亚伦·索尔特计划什么时候开始值班。
He could tell you when a new employee was hired.
他可以告诉你何时雇用新员工。
Everyone knew Grady.
每个人都认识格雷迪。
My mother told me I never met a stranger.
我妈妈告诉我，我从来没有遇到过陌生人。
So I have no problems with chatting with anybody.
所以我和任何人聊天都没有问题。
I can walk up to anybody from anywhere and talk to them.
我可以从任何地方走到任何人面前并与他们交谈。
After he dropped his cans, Grady would hang out at the abandoned building across the street from the store.
放下罐头后，格雷迪会在商店对面的废弃建筑里闲逛。
And that's where Grady first noticed the black Ford Fusion that would be in the Tops parking lot every day.
在那里，格雷迪第一次注意到每天停在 Tops 停车场的黑色福特 Fusion。
He'd put, like, a strip, a silver strip right there by the door.
他会在门边放一条银条。
I would always be able to tell his car because of that strip it had on there.
我总能认出他的车，因为车上有一条条带。
The car belonged to Heyward Patterson, the deacon.
这辆车属于执事海沃德帕特森。
Grady knew Deacon from around East Buffalo, back when Deacon lived on the same block as Grady's uncle's, back when everyone used to call Deacon Patterson Teeny Boy.
格雷迪在东布法罗附近认识迪肯，当时迪肯和格雷迪叔叔住在同一个街区，当时每个人都叫迪肯帕特森小男孩。
And he knew Deacon from Tops, where Deacon was a jitney driver, shuttling passengers back and forth to the neighborhood's only grocery store in his unofficial cab.
他在托普斯认识了迪肯，迪肯是那里的一名吉尼车司机，用他的非官方出租车载着乘客往返于附近唯一的杂货店。
But Grady didn't know know Deacon until one day, Grady was sitting in his usual spot at the abandoned building across from Tops, and then Deacon called Grady over to the parking lot.
但格雷迪并不知道迪肯，直到有一天，格雷迪坐在托普斯对面那栋废弃建筑里他常坐的位置，然后迪肯把格雷迪叫到停车场。
He asked if Grady wouldn't mind helping one of his jitney customers carry her bags.
他问格雷迪是否介意帮他的一位吉特尼顾客提行李。
Grady knew Deacon had a bad knee and couldn't climb stairs.
格雷迪知道迪肯的膝盖受伤了，无法爬楼梯。
I know that he needed my help.
我知道他需要我的帮助。
So even if I had no money in my pocket, and he needed my help, I would help him.
所以即使我口袋里没有钱，而他需要我的帮助，我也会帮助他。
Because I remember the first time I did it for him, the woman had steep-- like, I don't even know, 30, 40 steps up the back house.
因为我记得我第一次为他做这件事时，那个女人在后屋爬了 30、40 级陡峭的台阶，我什至不知道。
And that was a little bit of a lug, carrying those groceries up them steep steps.
带着这些杂货走上陡峭的台阶，那是一个小小的负担。
Grady figured Deacon was making a cool profit as a jitney driver.
格雷迪认为迪肯作为吉尼车司机赚了很多钱。
He knew other jitneys charged as much as $10 to $20 to ride a couple of blocks.
他知道其他小型公共汽车骑行几个街区的收费高达 10 至 20 美元。
But often, Deacon would give the bulk of the money to Grady.
但迪肯常常会把大部分钱给格雷迪。
Deacon would pay him just for walking a couple of blocks or going up one flight of stairs, or for just pointing people in his direction.
只要他走了几个街区或爬了一层楼梯，或者只是为人们指明了他的方向，迪肯就会付钱给他。
One time, I told somebody, OK, here's a jitney over here.
有一次，我告诉某人，好吧，这里有一辆吉尼车。
He gave me $10.
他给了我 10 美元。
So it's been numerous times where he gave me $10, where he probably got $15.
所以有很多次他给了我 10 美元，但他可能得到了 15 美元。
So I thought to myself, well, how much money could he be making if he's giving me a majority of it?
所以我心里想，如果他把大部分都给我的话，他能赚多少钱？
But Grady never asked.
但格雷迪从未问过。
He just quietly did the math in his head because he knew Deacon wasn't rich.
他只是默默地在心里算了一下，因为他知道迪肯并不富有。
Patterson worked part-time at Sneakertown, an athletic shoe store across the street from Tops.
帕特森在 Tops 街对面的一家运动鞋店 Sneakertown 做兼职。
Grady thought, Deacon must have seen me pushing that shopping cart for miles.
格雷迪想，迪肯一定看到我推着购物车走了几英里。
Everyone saw me.
每个人都看到了我。
I mean, he knew my situation.
我的意思是，他知道我的处境。
So he knew I-- I collected bottles and cans.
所以他知道我——我收集瓶子和罐头。
So well, I'm a week by week money guy.
好吧，我是一个每周都赚钱的人。
If a day, I don't got no money in my pocket, and then I get some money, that's a beautiful thing, especially for doing something I would have did for free, anyway.
如果有一天，我口袋里没有钱，然后我得到了一些钱，那是一件美好的事情，尤其是做一些我本来会免费做的事情。
So that's probably why, since I think he knew I needed money, that's what he did.
所以这可能就是为什么，因为我认为他知道我需要钱，所以他就这么做了。
He gave me money.
他给了我钱。
That's when Grady realized he wasn't helping Deacon, Deacon was helping him.
就在那时，格雷迪意识到他不是在帮助迪肯，而是迪肯在帮助他。
Deacon wasn't even running a profit-making venture.
迪肯甚至没有经营一家盈利企业。
He was providing a resource for people who needed help.
他为需要帮助的人提供资源。
When Grady would ride with Deacon, they'd get to the end of the ride, and the customers would say, how much do I owe you?
当格雷迪和迪肯一起骑行时，他们会到达骑行终点，顾客会说，我欠你多少钱？
And Deacon would tell his riders to give whatever your heart desires.
迪肯会告诉他的骑手们要给予任何你内心想要的东西。
When I used to hear him say it, I'd be like, whatever they want?
当我以前听到他这么说时，我会想，无论他们想要什么？
Whatever their heart desire?
无论他们内心的愿望是什么？
Shoot, it may be $2 their heart may desire.
好吧，他们可能想要 2 美元。
But he would take it.
但他会接受。
And if you're wondering, who does that, Grady wondered the same thing.
如果你想知道是谁干的，格雷迪也想知道同样的事情。
This older lady, he took her, 1, 2, 3 blocks up.
这位年长的女士，他带她走了一、二、三个街区。
And she kept asking, how much.
她一直在问，多少钱。
And he kept telling her how much you can afford.
他一直告诉她你能负担多少钱。
She ended up giving him $10.
她最终给了他10美元。
He gave me $8.
他给了我8美元。
The one thing that Deacon Patterson and Grady had in common is that they were Black men in Buffalo, which also meant that they were subject to the systemic failures of their city.
迪肯·帕特森和格雷迪的一个共同点是，他们都是布法罗的黑人，这也意味着他们会受到城市系统性失败的影响。
In Buffalo, the Black unemployment rate is nearly twice the White unemployment rate.
在布法罗，黑人失业率几乎是白人失业率的两倍。
In Buffalo, more than a third of the Black population lives in poverty.
在布法罗，超过三分之一的黑人生活在贫困之中。
In Buffalo, Black residents are six times more likely to live in an area without a grocery store.
在布法罗，黑人居民居住在没有杂货店的地区的可能性是其他人的六倍。
Deacon Patterson was just one of the members of this community who took it upon themselves to patch the shoddy social safety net that's supposed to address these problems, problems that should be considered public concerns and solved with public resources.
迪肯·帕特森只是这个社区的成员之一，他自己承担起修补劣质社会安全网的责任，该网本应解决这些问题，这些问题应该被视为公众关心的问题并用公共资源解决。
Deacon Patterson helped people because he could see that people needed help.
执事帕特森帮助人们，因为他看到人们需要帮助。
On Friday, May 13, Deacon didn't have any work for Grady, so Grady hung around in front of the store.
5 月 13 日星期五，迪肯没有给格雷迪做任何工作，所以格雷迪在商店门口闲逛。
He chatted up the security guard who works the shift before Aaron Salter.
他和亚伦·索尔特之前轮班的保安聊了聊。
He ran into his mother shopping at Tops.
他在 Tops 购物时遇到了他的母亲。
And he noticed the new guy leaving the store.
他注意到新人离开了商店。
Grady says he approached him, and when the stranger said he was from out of town, that he stopped by the store on his way to a camping trip, Grady says he told him that he has to go see Niagara Falls.
格雷迪说，他走近他，当陌生人说他来自外地，并在去露营的路上顺便路过商店时，格雷迪说他告诉他必须去尼亚加拉大瀑布。
The next day, Saturday morning, Grady went to Miss Penny's Plate of Love as usual.
第二天，星期六早上，格雷迪像往常一样去了佩妮小姐的爱之盘。
And I woke up late.
而且我醒得很晚。
So I always would take out the garbage for her because she does a lot in the community.
所以我总是帮她倒垃圾，因为她在社区做了很多事情。
So I went up there late, and I got there about 12:00 or something like that.
所以我去的很晚，大约12:00左右到达那里。
She finished cleaning up about 2:00.
她在2:00左右完成了清理工作。
She had two breakfasts still.
她还吃了两顿早餐。
And I was like, well, I can find somebody to give it to because I was going to Tops anyway.
我当时想，好吧，我可以找人把它送给我，因为无论如何我要去 Tops。
Because I know it's a lot of people there, and they will want the breakfast.
因为我知道那里有很多人，他们会想要早餐。
Miss Penny told Grady, oh, I have something to get at the store.
佩妮小姐告诉格雷迪，哦，我要去商店买点东西。
I'll give you a ride.
我送你一程。
I dropped him off up on Jefferson, dropped Grady off.
我把他送到了杰斐逊，然后又送了格雷迪。
And I went to take care of something that I had to.
我去处理一些我必须做的事情。
And then--
然后——
She dropped me off at the store.
她把我送到商店。
I walked across the street because there was nobody there.
我穿过马路，因为那里没有人。
And then-- and I'd seen an old guy out there.
然后——我看到外面有一个老人。
And then I gave him a breakfast.
然后我给他吃了早餐。
And I walked right next door to Tops.
我就走到了Tops 的隔壁。
And I gave one of the breakfasts to the guys that were sitting over there.
我给坐在那边的人一份早餐。
And I noticed the police guard, Aaron Salter's car.
我注意到警察警卫亚伦·索尔特的车。
He had an old, fancy Cadillac.
他有一辆老式的、豪华的凯迪拉克。
Grady saw Roberta Drury, noticed she had a nice dress on and a lot more groceries than normal.
格雷迪看到了罗伯塔·德鲁里，注意到她穿着一件漂亮的衣服，而且比平常多了很多杂货。
He saw Pearl Young, who had just attended a prayer breakfast.
他看到了珀尔·杨，她刚刚参加了祈祷早餐会。
And he saw the Deacon, who had just come from Mr. Love's barbershop, standing outside the store as usual.
他看到刚刚从爱先生的理发店出来的执事，一如既往地站在店外。
I talked to the old man for a quick second.
我和那位老人简短地聊了一会儿。
I bought my drink, walked out.
我买了饮料，走了出去。
And I thought to myself, you know, I should sit here for a second because I see there's a lot of people out here.
我心想，你知道，我应该在这里坐一会儿，因为我看到这里有很多人。
Maybe he's having a good day today, and don't really mind too much.
也许他今天过得很愉快，并不太介意。
And it was a beautiful day out, so I walked across the street at the bus stop.
这是美好的一天，所以我在公交车站穿过马路。
And then I opened my drink, and I took a sip out of it.
然后我打开饮料，喝了一口。
And I heard a big "boom!"
然后我就听到“轰”的一声巨响！
And then I looked up from where I was sitting at, right across.
然后我从我坐的地方抬起头来，就在对面。
And I saw this white smoke.
我看到了这种白烟。
And I think I'd seen her fall, the first victim, Roberta.
我想我见过她倒下，第一个受害者，罗伯塔。
Then I seen a guy in camouflage shoot a lady by the door.
然后我看到一个穿着迷彩服的家伙在门口向一位女士开枪。
Then I'd seen him shoot-- I didn't know at the time, but Deacon.
然后我看到他开枪——当时我不知道，但迪肯知道。
Then I see him shoot through the window, and I'm seeing people running.
然后我看到他透过窗户射击，我看到人们在奔跑。
And then I'm just seeing more smoke.
然后我就看到更多的烟雾。
And I'm thinking, OK, maybe the Russians attacked us, and I didn't hear about it on the news.
我在想，好吧，也许俄罗斯人袭击了我们，但我没有在新闻中听到这件事。
And I'm like, OK, this is crazy.
我想，好吧，这太疯狂了。
Then I seen Aaron Salters run back into the building.
然后我看到亚伦·索尔特斯跑回大楼。
And I seen the guy go in with his gun, rifle.
我看到那家伙拿着枪进来了，步枪。
And he's just shooting.
而他只是在射击。
And as soon as he went in, I started yelling and screaming for people, because I don't have a cell phone.
他一进去，我就开始对人们大喊大叫，因为我没有手机。
I started yelling and screaming for people to call the police, the police.
我开始大喊大叫，要求人们报警，报警。
Somebody please call the police.
有人请报警。
And I'm just hearing the ringing from the-- the gunshots.
我刚刚听到枪声。
And it was rapid.
而且速度很快。
And it was loud.
而且声音很大。
It was, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
那是，繁荣，繁荣，繁荣，繁荣，繁荣，繁荣。
I think actually, at that point, that my feelings kind of left my body.
我认为实际上，在那一刻，我的感觉已经离开了我的身体。
Because it was the most incredible thing I ever experienced in my life, that people you know, people you don't know, somebody in there shooting random people with this loud, big gun, and white smoke.
因为这是我一生中经历过的最令人难以置信的事情，你认识的人，你不认识的人，有人用这把响亮的大枪和白烟随意射击。
You know, Grady was calling me, telling me that they shot Deacon.
你知道，格雷迪打电话给我，告诉我他们枪杀了迪肯。
But I didn't want to accept that.
但我不想接受这一点。
So I asked him, Deacon who?
于是我问他，执事是谁？
And he said-- I said, was it Deacon from my church?
他说——我说，是我教会的执事吗？
And he said, yes.
他说，是的。
And at that particular time, he talk-- he said, wait.
在那个特定的时间，他说话——他说，等等。
And then he said, they just covered him up.
然后他说，他们只是把他掩盖起来。
So I knew then Deacon was gone.
所以我知道迪肯走了。
It's been three months since the shooting.
距离枪击事件已经过去三个月了。
Tops has reopened, and the men are back in front of the store, across from the memorial to the 10 lives that were stolen from this community.
Tops 已经重新开业，人们又回到了商店前面，对面是纪念这个社区被盗的 10 条生命的纪念碑。
The car with the silver stripe isn't waiting at Tops, or at the Plate of Love on Saturday mornings.
周六早上，带有银色条纹的汽车不会在 Tops 或 Plate of Love 等候。
When I pull into the parking lot, that first vehicle I would see in the parking lot would be Deacon Patterson's vehicle.
当我把车开进停车场时，我在停车场看到的第一辆车就是迪肯·帕特森的车。
And I would always park next to him.
我总是把车停在他旁边。
And to pull up in the parking lot, and his car not be there, that was strange.
当他把车停在停车场时，他的车却不在那儿，这很奇怪。
And to go in, to enter the church through the side door of the parking lot-- and when I would go into the church, I would see Deacon Patterson.
进去，从停车场的侧门进入教堂——当我走进教堂时，我会看到执事帕特森。
So to go into the services and not see him, to come to the Plate of Love and not see him, you know, is a great loss, a great loss.
所以，去服务却看不到他，来到爱之盘却看不到他，你知道，这是一个巨大的损失，一个巨大的损失。
That loss is being felt in different places by different people across Buffalo's East Side.
布法罗东区不同地方的不同人都感受到了这种损失。
Pamela Pritchett no longer sees her mom, Pearl Young, pop up on Facebook, asking, why wasn't I invited?
帕梅拉·普里切特 (Pamela Pritchett) 再也见不到她的妈妈 Pearl Young 在 Facebook 上问，为什么我没有被邀请？
At Garnell Whitfield's Sr.'s nursing home, everyone notices that Mrs. Ruth Whitfield no longer comes every day, bringing gifts for the staff that she picked up thrifting.
在加内尔·惠特菲尔德老家的疗养院，每个人都注意到露丝·惠特菲尔德夫人不再每天都来，给工作人员带来她节俭买来的礼物。
When Kayla Jones turned 25 last week, she cried.
上周凯拉·琼斯 (Kayla Jones) 25 岁生日时，她哭了。
Normally, her grandmother would be the first person to call her on her birthday.
一般来说，在她生日的时候，她的奶奶会是第一个给她打电话的人。
When someone is missing from your daily life because of a racist act of terror, it changes you.
当某人因种族主义恐怖行为而从你的日常生活中消失时，你就会改变。
It's changed Grady-- Grady, who used to talk to everyone, who had approached a stranger outside Tops the day before the shooting.
格雷迪变了——格雷迪以前和每个人都说话，在枪击事件发生的前一天，他在托普斯外接近了一个陌生人。
Grady learned that that person was, of course, the same person who came back the next day and allegedly shot and killed 10 people in front of him, a young white man who traveled to one of the most segregated cities in America determined to kill Black people.
格雷迪了解到，这个人当然就是第二天回来并据称在他面前枪杀 10 人的同一个人，他是一名年轻的白人，前往美国最种族隔离的城市之一，决心杀害黑人。
And Grady, the man in front of the store, is still watching.
商店前面的那个人格雷迪仍在注视着。
But he sees things different now.
但现在他的看法不同了。
I was at the memorial.
我当时在纪念馆。
And a lady and her husband and her young son-- 18, 19, 20-- I'm talking to them, no problem.
一位女士和她的丈夫以及她年幼的儿子——18岁、19岁、20岁——我正在和他们交谈，没问题。
I looked at him, and I was scared of him.
我看着他，我很害怕他。
And I'd seen another young white kid, boy.
我还看到了另一个年轻的白人孩子，男孩。
I was scared of him.
我很害怕他。
So I have this thing now to where I'm kind of scared of young white boys now.
所以我现在已经有点害怕年轻的白人男孩了。
Probably-- well, probably-- definitely from the shooting, for me talking to this kid, and him seeming to be like a regular guy.
可能——嗯，可能——绝对是在枪击事件中，因为我和这个孩子说话，他看起来就像一个普通人。
And I don't even think-- I went to the Tops on Elmwood, this all-white Tops.
我什至没有想到——我去了埃尔姆伍德的上衣，这件全白上衣。
And then-- it's just-- it's me.
然后——就是——就是我。
I felt like every white person was looking at me.
我感觉每个白人都在看着我。
Before the shooting, Grady's can-collecting trek took him to neighborhoods all over Buffalo.
枪击事件发生前，格雷迪走遍了布法罗各地的街区收集罐头。
Even when-- before this, I would always would be cautious.
即使是——在此之前，我也会一直保持谨慎。
But I kind of had a break because I was an old Black guy pushing a shopping cart.
但我有点休息，因为我是一个推着购物车的黑人老家伙。
Maybe nobody would bother him.
也许没有人会打扰他。
Now, I mean, they're shooting old people in supermarkets.
现在，我的意思是，他们在超市里向老人开枪。
So yeah, so I don't feel safe in going in no neighborhoods anymore.
所以是的，所以我不再觉得去任何社区都不安全。
So I haven't been able to collect my bottles and cans anymore.
所以我再也无法收集我的瓶子和罐头了。
Because like I said, I would go on the West Side and North Buffalo.
因为就像我说的，我会去西区和北布法罗。
And those are predominantly white neighborhoods.
这些主要是白人社区。
And I would do it at 12:00 at night, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00.
我会在晚上 12:00、12:00、1:00、2:00、3:00、4:00、5:00 进行。
I can't take no chance and do that at all.
我不能不冒险就这么做。
And it's kind of a shame because-- well, it ain't kind of a shame, it is a shame because actually, I love collecting bottles and cans.
这是一种耻辱，因为——嗯，这不是一种耻辱，这是一种耻辱，因为实际上，我喜欢收集瓶子和罐子。
It made me feel like I had a purpose, doing something good for the environment, and also making money, and getting exercise in.
这让我觉得我有一个目标，为环境做一些有益的事情，同时还能赚钱，并得到锻炼。
I walked 23 miles, made my own time.
我走了 23 英里，安排了自己的时间。
You know, if I wanted to work, I can work.
你知道，如果我想工作，我就能工作。
If I want to work later, I can work later.
如果我想晚点工作，我可以晚点工作。
If I wanted, could go to work earlier.
如果我愿意的话，可以早点去上班。
So I felt free in that sense.
所以从这个意义上来说我感到自由。
If the world made sense, Grady would still feel free.
如果世界有意义，格雷迪仍然会感到自由。
If the world made sense, Deacon Patterson's life could serve as a parable about love, charity, or the redemptive quality of grace.
如果世界有意义，执事帕特森的一生可以作为一个关于爱、慈善或恩典的救赎品质的寓言。
But there is a danger in manufacturing meaning out of something so meaningless.
但从无意义的东西中制造意义是有危险的。
There is no way to rationalize the hate that left a huge, gaping hole in an entire community.
没有办法合理化仇恨，这种仇恨在整个社区留下了巨大的漏洞。
Then again, if any of this made sense, there'd be no such thing as Black neighborhoods, or poverty, or food deserts, or racial disparities, or senseless violence.
话又说回来，如果这一切有意义的话，就不会有诸如黑人社区、贫困、食物荒漠、种族差异或无意义的暴力之类的事情了。
If the world made sense, Deacon Heyward Patterson would still be a man in front of a store.
如果世界有意义的话，执事海沃德·帕特森仍然会是商店门前的一个人。
Michael Harriot writes for TheGrio.
迈克尔·哈里奥特 (Michael Harriot) 为 TheGrio 撰稿。
And he's the host of TheGrio Daily podcast.
他是 TheGrio Daily 播客的主持人。
Our program was produced today by Chana Joffe-Walt and our Executive Editor, Emanuele Berry.
今天我们的节目由 Chana Joffe-Walt 和我们的执行编辑 Emanuele Berry 制作。
The people who put together today's show include Elna Baker, Chris Benderev, Sean Cole, Michal Comite, Andrea López Cruzado, Cassie Howley, Valerie Kipnis, Seth Lind, Tobin Low, Miki Meek, Michelle Navarro, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Nadia Reiman, Ryan Rumery, Alissa Shipp, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Elna Baker、Chris Benderev、Sean Cole、Michal Comite、Andrea López Cruzado、Cassie Howley、Valerie Kipnis、Seth Lind、Tobin Low、Miki Meek、Michelle Navarro、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Rae Mondo、Nadia Reiman、Ryan Rumery、Alissa Shipp、Lilly Sullivan、Christopher Swetala、Matt蒂尔尼和黛安·吴。
Our Managing Editor-- Sarah Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑——莎拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼。
Our Senior Editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的高级编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Special thanks to Madison Carter, Sherry Sherrill of Covington Associates Consulting and We Are Women Warriors, Barbara Massey-Mapp, Peter Kramer, Shawn Litster, James Pennington, Valerie Wilcox, Alvina Alston, Jay Rey, and Jerry Urban and WBFO News.
特别感谢 Madison Carter、Covington Associates Consulting 和 We Are Women Warriors 的 Sherry Sherrill、Barbara Massey-Mapp、Peter Kramer、Shawn Litster、James Pennington、Valerie Wilcox、Alvina Alston、Jay Rey、Jerry Urban 和 WBFO News。
Thanks again to Curtis Lovell, the Buffalo musician you're hearing right now and throughout our show.
再次感谢柯蒂斯·洛弗尔（Curtis Lovell），您现在以及整个节目中听到的布法罗音乐家。
You can find her on Spotify, iTunes, wherever you get your music.
无论您在何处获取音乐，您都可以在 Spotify、iTunes 上找到她。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can stream our archive of over 750 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费地观看我们的 750 多集档案。
Also, there's videos, there's lists of favorite shows, there's tons of other stuff there.
此外，还有视频、最喜欢的节目列表，还有大量其他内容。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。