772: The Kids' Table - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #772 | June 3, 2022 772: The Kids' Table Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 772 集 | 2022 年 6 月 3 日 772：儿童餐桌 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
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如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass Kids can be so confident about what they know and what they think they can do.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 孩子们对他们所知道的和他们认为自己能做的事情非常自信。
And then they get tested.
然后他们接受测试。
One of our producers, Elna Baker, talked to somebody who was tested like that as a girl.
我们的一位制片人埃尔娜·贝克 (Elna Baker) 与一位在女孩时期经历过类似测试的人进行了交谈。
Hey there, Elna.
嘿，艾尔娜。
Hi, Ira.
嗨，艾拉。
Yeah, so the person in this story, her name is Molly.
是的，所以这个故事中的人，她的名字叫莫莉。
And Molly grew up in an apartment complex outside of Houston-- lots of families.
莫莉在休斯顿郊外的一个公寓楼里长大——那里有很多家庭。
And the parents, they worked long hours, some multiple jobs, which meant that this complex was really run by the kids.
而父母们，他们工作时间很长，有些还身兼数职，这意味着这个综合体实际上是由孩子们经营的。
They had total free rein.
他们拥有完全的自由。
And they did all sorts of things that you could only do if there were no adults around.
他们做了各种各样只有在没有大人在场的情况下才能做的事情。
Like what?
比如什么？
Elna Baker Like there was this four-lane highway up behind the complex, and the kids would go up to the highway.
埃尔娜·贝克（Elna Baker） 就像大楼后面有一条四车道的高速公路，孩子们会走上高速公路。
And we would play leapfrog across the highway.
我们会玩蛙跳过高速公路的游戏。
This is Molly.
这是莫莉。
Molly And we would wait until a car came.
莫莉 我们会等到一辆车来。
That way, it would be kind of scarier.
那样的话，就会更可怕一些。
If we could see headlights coming, this is when we were like, all right, now's the time to leapfrog.
如果我们能看到车头灯即将到来，那么我们就会想，好吧，现在是跨越的时候了。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
Elna Baker I know.
埃尔娜·贝克我知道。
And then, sometimes, those lights would be a police officer.
有时，那些灯会是一名警察。
So they would turn on their lights and turn around real quick and start speeding toward us.
所以他们会打开灯并快速转身并开始向我们加速。
And this is when it was fun because we were like, we're ditching the cops right now.
这时候很有趣，因为我们就像，我们现在就要抛弃警察。
And we would run and back into the complex and just spread out and hide wherever we could-- under cars, in bushes, in truck beds-- and watch through the cracks.
我们会跑回大楼，分散开来，躲在我们能躲的地方——汽车下、灌木丛中、卡车车厢里——然后从缝隙中观察。
Molly loved hiding.
莫莉喜欢躲藏起来。
So her and her best friend, Ariel, they come up with this reason to hide all the time.
于是她和她最好的朋友Ariel就想出了这个一直躲起来的理由。
They decide that they are spy detectives, and it is their job to sort of spy on everyone in the complex.
他们决定自己是间谍侦探，他们的工作就是监视建筑群中的每个人。
And at the time, they're 10, 11.
当时，他们分别是10岁、11岁。
And they're tiny, too.
而且它们也很小。
They're these tiny girls, so they can fit everywhere.
她们都是小女孩，所以她们可以适应任何地方。
They would go into the laundry room and hide inside the machines with the door cracked, so they could eavesdrop.
他们会进入洗衣房，躲在机器里，门开着缝，这样他们就可以偷听。
Or they would hide in the laundry room trash cans.
或者他们会躲在洗衣房的垃圾桶里。
Which is disgusting, but we didn't care.
这很恶心，但我们不在乎。
So they're hiding and spying on people all the time.
所以他们一直在隐藏和监视人们。
Yeah.
是的。
What's funny about it is, everywhere-- if you were a kid in this building, you never actually had-- you'd think you had a moment of privacy.
有趣的是，无论在哪里——如果你是这栋楼里的一个孩子，你从来没有真正拥有过——你会认为自己有片刻的隐私。
And then you turn, and you'd hear them giggling, or you'd know they were there.
然后你转身，你会听到他们咯咯地笑，或者你会知道他们在那里。
And there they are.
他们就在那里。
Did the other kids in the complex know that you guys were spies?
大楼里的其他孩子知道你们是间谍吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, because they always knew who was stalking them.
是的，因为他们总是知道谁在跟踪他们。
So all of this is going on for over a year.
所以这一切都持续了一年多。
And then Molly and Ariel, they leave the apartment complex one night to go to a sleepover.
然后莫莉和爱丽儿有一天晚上离开公寓大楼去过夜。
This is 2005.
这是2005年。
They're 12 and 13.
他们分别是12岁和13岁。
And when they get back to the complex the next morning, they see this swarm of cops.
第二天早上，当他们回到大楼时，他们看到了这群警察。
One of the other apartment kids immediately, as right as we got out of the car, ran up to us and was like, someone just got murdered.
我们一下车，公寓里的另一个孩子就立即跑到我们跟前，说有人刚刚被谋杀了。
And we were like, what?
我们当时想，什么？
And he was like, yeah.
他说，是的。
And the cops are looking for you because somebody said that you saw it.
警察正在寻找你，因为有人说你看到了它。
And we were like, what do you mean?
我们就想，你是什么意思？
We just got home.
我们刚到家。
We were at Sheridan's birthday party.
我们参加了谢里登的生日聚会。
And he was like, the apartment below me, somebody stabbed somebody else.
他就像是，在我楼下的公寓里，有人刺伤了别人。
And because the kids knew we knew everything, they were like, yeah, Molly and Ariel know.
因为孩子们知道我们知道一切，他们就说，是的，莫莉和爱丽儿知道。
They had to have seen it.
他们一定已经看到了。
No, they didn't, but the kids were just so confident.
不，他们没有，但孩子们就是这么自信。
Molly and Ariel, they see everything.
莫莉和爱丽儿，他们看到了一切。
So the kids are like, just go talk to them.
所以孩子们就像，就去和他们说话吧。
And so what happens?
那么会发生什么呢？
Elna Baker And so they hear these police are looking for them.
埃尔娜·贝克（Elna Baker）所以他们听说这些警察正在寻找他们。
So they ran up to the cop that they know, Officer Cook, because he lives in the building.
于是他们跑去找他们认识的警察库克警官，因为他就住在这栋楼里。
He was like, hey, I've been looking for y'all.
他说，嘿，我一直在找你们。
And we were like, OK, yeah, our friend told us, but we just got back from a birthday party.
我们就像，好吧，是的，我们的朋友告诉我们，但我们刚刚从生日聚会回来。
We weren't even here.
我们甚至都不在这里。
And he's like, oh, OK, well, y'all stay away from this area.
他说，哦，好吧，好吧，你们都远离这个区域。
And we were like, OK.
我们当时想，好吧。
Yeah, that's not going to happen.
是的，那不会发生。
Yeah, they think they can solve the murder.
是的，他们认为他们可以解决谋杀案。
But, you know.
但是，你知道。
So in order to solve this, they're like, OK, what do we need?
所以为了解决这个问题，他们会说，好吧，我们需要什么？
We need to know the facts.
我们需要了解事实。
So they go back to the boy who told them about this in the first place.
所以他们回到了最初告诉他们这件事的那个男孩。
And they're like, what happened?
他们就像，发生了什么事？
And he's like, OK, so it happened right underneath my window.
他说，好吧，所以事情就发生在我的窗户下面。
And they're like, let's go see.
他们说，我们去看看吧。
So we run up to Daniel's house.
所以我们跑到丹尼尔家。
And we look down into the fenced bottom floor apartment courtyard area, and we just see blood.
我们往下看有围栏的底层公寓庭院区域，我们只看到血迹。
And we're like, oh, my God.
我们就像，哦，天啊。
This is real.
这是真的。
This is not a rumor.
这不是谣言。
This is not a joke.
这不是玩笑。
It's real.
这是真的。
There was a puddle of blood.
那里有一滩血。
So we're like, we have to help the cops.
所以我们就像，我们必须帮助警察。
Obviously, we need to be involved in this because we're spy detectives.
显然，我们需要参与其中，因为我们是间谍侦探。
So we run back down to Officer Cook, and we're like, so what happened?
所以我们跑回库克警官那里，我们想，到底发生了什么？
And he was like, this woman stabbed her boyfriend, and he died.
他就想，这个女人刺伤了她的男朋友，然后他就死了。
And she threw the weapon, and we don't know where it is.
她把武器扔了，我们不知道它在哪里。
So they hear this, and immediately, they're like, we're going to find this murder weapon.
所以他们听到这个消息后，立刻就想，我们要找到这个凶器。
And it's so weird because, I mean, that's impossible.
这很奇怪，因为我的意思是，这是不可能的。
How do you find a murder weapon?
如何找到凶器？
But we just knew we were going to find this weapon.
但我们只知道我们会找到这种武器。
This apartment complex is our world.
这个公寓大楼就是我们的世界。
So we know every hiding spot because we've hid stuff there.
所以我们知道每个藏身之处，因为我们在那里藏了东西。
Oh, it's all coming together, all their hiding.
哦，一切都聚集在一起，他们都隐藏起来。
Yeah, they either have hid stuff there, or they've hidden there themselves.
是的，他们要么把东西藏在那里，要么他们自己藏在那里。
And so they go sit at the top of the stairs.
于是他们就坐在楼梯顶上。
And they just start brainstorming.
他们刚刚开始集思广益。
They're like, all right, where could this murder weapon be?
他们就像，好吧，这件凶器可能在哪里？
Could it be in the ditch that runs behind the building?
难道是在建筑物后面的沟渠里吗？
Could it be in the field out back?
会不会是在后面的田野里？
And then Molly has this idea.
然后莫莉有了这个想法。
Let's look on the carports.
让我们看看车库。
Elna Baker Why?
埃尔娜·贝克 为什么？
Well, think of it as, you have something of your sibling's, and you're going to hide it because you don't want them to have it.
好吧，想象一下，你有你兄弟姐妹的一些东西，你要把它隐藏起来，因为你不想让他们拥有它。
Well, we would throw it up onto the carport because we knew that there was no way they could get it once it's up there.
好吧，我们会把它扔到车库上，因为我们知道一旦它到了那里，他们就无法拿到它了。
So the carports, they're like 10 feet high.
所以车库大约有 10 英尺高。
You'd park under them.
你会把车停在它们下面。
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Elna Baker And it's impossible to see the top of them from the ground, but you can easily see it if you go to an upstairs apartment.
埃尔娜·贝克（Elna Baker）：从地面上看不到它们的顶部，但如果你去楼上的公寓，你就可以很容易地看到它。
Ah.
啊。
Elna Baker And Ariel's apartment overlooks the carports that are closest to the murder.
埃尔娜·贝克和爱丽儿的公寓俯瞰着距离谋杀案最近的车库。
So we run up Ariel's stairs.
于是我们跑上了爱丽儿的楼梯。
And her bedroom window looks to the back of the apartment, where the carports are.
她卧室的窗户面向公寓的后面，也就是车库所在的地方。
And we are looking on her carport, and we see a knife.
我们正在查看她的车库，我们看到一把刀。
And we're like, oh, my God.
我们就像，哦，天哪。
That's it.
就是这样。
That's the knife she used to kill her boyfriend.
那是她用来杀死男友的刀。
And when you first saw the knife, were you just shocked?
当你第一次看到这把刀时，你是否感到震惊？
Yeah, we were so shocked, because we were like, there's no way we just solved this that quickly.
是的，我们非常震惊，因为我们想，我们不可能那么快解决这个问题。
That is really quick.
那真的很快。
Elna Baker Yeah, so quick.
埃尔娜·贝克 是的，这么快。
I mean, if you think about it, police had been working on this for hours.
我的意思是，如果你想一想，警方已经为此工作了几个小时。
And this is the very first place that they looked.
这是他们首先看的地方。
So we run down the stairs back to Officer Cook, and we're like, there's a knife on the carport above Ariel's apartment.
于是我们跑下楼梯回到库克警官那里，我们发现阿里尔公寓楼上的车库里有一把刀。
And they're like, what?
他们就像，什么？
And we're like, yeah.
我们就像，是的。
And the officers are like, OK, yeah, yeah, we'll get to that in a minute, kids.
官员们就像是，好吧，是的，是的，我们一会儿就解决这个问题，孩子们。
And they do.
他们确实这么做了。
They come upstairs and look out the window.
他们上楼看向窗外。
And to their shock, they see the murder weapon.
令他们震惊的是，他们看到了凶器。
And then they send an officer out there with a ladder to climb the carport.
然后他们派一名警官带着梯子爬上车库。
And I remember the officer had one of those bags for evidence.
我记得那位警官有一个袋子作为证据。
And he picked it up, and there was blood dried on it.
他把它捡起来，上面有干涸的血迹。
And he put it in the bag.
然后他把它放进了袋子里。
And they were like, great job, girls.
他们就像，干得好，女孩们。
And we were like, thanks, you know?
我们就像，谢谢，你知道吗？
We're here any time you need us.
只要您需要我们，我们就在这里。
That is exactly the way the dialogue goes in the Disney TV version of the story.
这正是迪士尼电视版故事中的对话方式。
Well, the girls, for them, this is this huge triumph.
好吧，女孩们，对她们来说，这是一次巨大的胜利。
I mean, everyone in the whole complex finds out that the girls solved this murder.
我的意思是，整个建筑群中的每个人都发现女孩们解决了这起谋杀案。
We were so excited.
我们非常兴奋。
We were so proud of ourselves because we did it.
我们为自己感到自豪，因为我们做到了。
We proved we could do it.
我们证明了我们可以做到。
When she got older, Molly would tell this story.
当她长大后，莫莉会讲这个故事。
And when she did, she would play it for laughs.
当她这样做时，她会播放它来取笑。
But then, something happened recently.
但最近，发生了一些事情。
She was telling it to one of her coworkers-- also from Texas.
她把这件事告诉了她的一位同事——同样来自德克萨斯州。
And they're doing this thing where they're swapping only in Texas stories.
他们正在做这件事，他们只交换德克萨斯州的故事。
And she gets to this one.
她谈到了这一点。
And I think it was more her reaction to it that made me realize, oh, that's not actually a funny story to tell.
我认为更多的是她对此的反应让我意识到，哦，这实际上并不是一个有趣的故事。
That's a serious thing that happened to me.
这是发生在我身上的一件严重的事情。
I'm a child, and I just saw a puddle of blood on the ground and found the real knife that killed this real human being.
我是个孩子，我只是看到地上有一滩血，找到了杀死这个真正的人的真正的刀。
It was being able to see that blood on the knife, that's what stuck with her the most.
能够看到刀上的血，这才是最让她难以忘怀的事情。
And also, they sent people in to clean up that puddle of blood with bleach.
而且，他们还派人去用漂白剂清理那一滩血。
And she was going to remember the smell of that and watching that, the blood spread all over the pavement.
她会记住那股味道，看着血洒满人行道。
And where were my parents, you know?
我的父母在哪里，你知道吗？
Did we ever have a conversation about this?
我们曾经讨论过这个问题吗？
Did they even care?
他们关心吗？
How do you just solve a murder, and there are no adults around?
周围没有大人的情况下，如何侦破一起谋杀案？
How do you leapfrog across the highway?
如何跨越高速公路？
I mean, it doesn't mean I had a bad childhood, but I would never follow any of the rules that they followed as parents.
我的意思是，这并不意味着我有一个糟糕的童年，但我永远不会遵循他们作为父母所遵循的任何规则。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
嗯，来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这是《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today, on our program, we have stories of stuff that happens when the grown-ups are not around.
今天，在我们的节目中，我们讲述了大人不在身边时发生的事情。
Or they are there, but you wouldn't know it.
或者他们就在那里，但你不知道。
They stay so fully on the sidelines, leaving the kids to figure things out on their own, sometimes with incredible resilience and inventiveness and good, levelheaded judgment-- sometimes not.
他们完全站在一旁，让孩子们自己解决问题，有时具有令人难以置信的韧性和创造力以及良好、冷静的判断力——有时则不然。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, "Magically Malicious." So this all started pretty small.
第一幕，“神奇的恶意”。所以这一切都是从很小的事情开始的。
A bunch of little kids left alone in a classroom, not even that long, before it became a schoolwide, citywide fiasco that the kids had to make sense of.
一群小孩子被独自留在教室里，没过多久，事情就变成了一场全校、全市的惨败，孩子们必须弄清楚这一点。
Lilly Sullivan tells the story.
莉莉·沙利文讲述了这个故事。
You know those really vivid early childhood memories, the ones where, even though they happened so long ago, you recall them more clearly than you remember most things?
你知道那些非常生动的童年记忆，尽管它们发生在很久以前，但你对它们的记忆比对大多数事情的记忆还要清晰？
For David Quiroz, his happened when he was seven, in second grade, back in 1993.
对于 David Quiroz 来说，他的遭遇发生在 1993 年他七岁的时候，当时他还在上二年级。
His PE teacher told their class, we're going to watch a movie today.
他的体育老师告诉全班同学，我们今天要去看电影。
And she rolled the AV cart with the TV and the VCR on it.
她推着AV推车，上面放着电视和录像机。
She popped in a Blockbuster rental or whatever it was.
她突然租了一辆百视达出租屋或者其他什么东西。
She pressed Play.
她按下了“播放”键。
She turned off the lights and walked away.
她关掉灯，走开了。
She made mention of the fact that she needed to go to the teacher's lounge to make copies-- I don't know of what.
她提到她需要去老师休息室复印——我不知道是什么。
But she was just gone.
但她就这样走了。
And we were just there.
我们就在那里。
Ahh.
啊。
Haha!
哈哈！
Lilly Sullivan The movie?
莉莉·沙利文这部电影？
Leprechaun.
妖精。
Maybe you're familiar, but if you're not, Leprechaun is a 1993 horror film starring a young Jennifer Aniston.
也许您很熟悉，但如果您不熟悉，《妖精》是一部 1993 年的恐怖电影，由年轻的詹妮弗·安妮斯顿主演。
It's rated R.
其评级为R。
It's about a leprechaun who goes on a murderous rampage to try to hunt down his stolen pot of gold.
这是关于一个小妖精为了追捕他被盗的一罐金子而展开凶残的暴行的故事。
Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold, won't live through the night.
无论他们如何努力，无论他们如何努力，偷我金子的人都活不过今晚。
Hahaha!
哈哈哈！
We're sitting there, watching the movie.
我们坐在那里看电影。
And I remember immediately people being afraid and people being giddy with excitement at the same time.
我立即记得人们感到害怕，同时又兴奋得头晕。
Where there was kids who were just like, oh, I've seen this.
那里的孩子们就像是，哦，我见过这个。
My older brother showed me this, and it's scary!
我哥哥给我看了这个，太可怕了！
And everyone else is just like, I don't know about this.
其他人都说，我不知道这件事。
Which was against the rules.
这是违反规则的。
Lilly Sullivan David remembers thinking, what the hell is happening?
莉莉·沙利文·大卫记得当时在想，到底发生了什么？
I'm going to suffocate.
我要窒息了。
David Quiroz Oh, I hated it.
大卫·奎罗斯 哦，我讨厌它。
It was terrifying.
太可怕了。
I remember people crying.
我记得人们哭了。
And everyone had this, you have to stay in your seats, and we're going to obey because an adult told us to.
每个人都有这个，你必须留在座位上，我们要服从，因为大人告诉我们这样做。
Here are some of the things that happen in this movie.
以下是这部电影中发生的一些事情。
There are scenes of the leprechaun biting off a face, also an ear.
有小妖精咬掉一张脸和一只耳朵的场景。
He snares people in bear traps.
他用熊陷阱诱捕人们。
He snaps the neck of a bloody police officer, then rips that officer's eye from his corpse, only to shove said eye into his own gouged out eye socket.
他折断了一名血淋淋的警察的脖子，然后从尸体上扯下这名警察的眼睛，却把那只眼睛塞进了自己被挖掉的眼窝里。
An eye for an eye, my dear.
以眼还眼，亲爱的。
Lilly Sullivan It's stupid and scary.
莉莉·沙利文 这既愚蠢又可怕。
Fuck you, Lucky Charms!
去你妈的，幸运符！
Lilly Sullivan Oh, and also language.
Lilly Sullivan 哦，还有语言。
Again, these kids are in second grade, like seven years old.
同样，这些孩子才二年级，大约七岁。
And I remember, especially in scenes where the leprechaun was attacking people--
我记得，尤其是在小妖精攻击人类的场景中——
Help!
救命啊！
Please!
请！
Please!
请！
Help!
帮助！
David Quiroz --that there were kids who were holding their eyes to their desk or doing the heads up, seven up, where you put your head down.
大卫·奎罗兹（David Quiroz）——有些孩子把眼睛盯着桌子，或者抬起头来，七点向上，而你则低着头。
And there were kids who had their hands over their ears.
还有一些孩子用手捂住耳朵。
This was near Halloween.
当时正值万圣节临近。
Kids remember the teacher saying she put the movie on to get everyone in the holiday spirit, which worked for some kids.
孩子们记得老师说她放这部电影是为了让每个人都感受到节日气氛，这对一些孩子来说很有效。
David says some of them were into it.
大卫说他们中的一些人对此很感兴趣。
And that's where it got complicated.
这就是事情变得复杂的地方。
Because the kids who were putting their heads down at their desks and covering their ears were being ridiculed by the bully kids because, why are you scared?
因为那些低着头、捂着耳朵的孩子们被恶霸们嘲笑了，因为，你为什么害怕？
Why are you scared of this?
你为什么害怕这个？
This isn't scary.
这并不可怕。
This is funny.
这很有趣。
[CACKLES] Do you like the gold buckles on me shoes?
[CACKLES] 你喜欢我鞋子上的金扣吗？
Well, I guess I should also point out-- I went to a school that was entirely Mexican-American, as I was.
好吧，我想我还应该指出——我就读的学校完全是墨西哥裔美国人，就像我一样。
And the only reason I say that is because in Mexican-American culture, there is this cultural pressure to be tough.
我这么说的唯一原因是，在墨西哥裔美国人文化中，存在着强硬的文化压力。
Particularly in his neighborhood, David says.
大卫说，尤其是在他的社区。
The place he grew up was basically all Mexican, all working class, but also had a reputation for being kind of a tough part of town.
他长大的地方基本上都是墨西哥人，都是工人阶级，但也因城里的困难地区而闻名。
And so, oftentimes, instances where siblings are helping to raise one another, I've seen some things.
因此，我经常看到兄弟姐妹互相帮助抚养长大的情况。
There was a number of kids in the class who were walking to school by themselves at six years old or seven years old.
班上有很多六七岁的孩子自己走路上学。
And we had some rough-ass kids.
我们有一些粗鲁的孩子。
And those rough-ass kids had way different perspectives than the kids whose parents tried to keep scary things away from them.
那些粗鲁的孩子与那些父母试图让可怕的事情远离他们的孩子有着截然不同的观点。
And so, half the class was enjoying the horror movie, and half the class was terrified and crying.
于是，一半的班级在欣赏恐怖电影，一半的班级则惊恐地哭泣。
At some point, the teacher came back into the room, saw that people were visibly crying-- saw that people were crying and were visibly upset and then admonished the kids for crying.
在某个时候，老师回到房间，看到人们明显在哭泣——看到人们在哭泣并且明显感到不安，然后警告孩子们哭泣。
She said, why are y'all crying?
她说，你们怎么哭了？
This is a holiday movie.
这是一部假日电影。
And I was just like, all right.
我当时就想，好吧。
I beg to differ, but.
我不敢苟同，但是。
And then, well, she's like, y'all need to toughen up, that kind of thing.
然后，嗯，她说，你们都需要坚强起来，诸如此类的事情。
And then, she said, OK, well, if you don't want to watch it, I don't want to teach.
然后，她说，好吧，好吧，如果你不想看，我就不想教。
And so, you can sit outside.
所以，你可以坐在外面。
And sitting outside wasn't-- it was like sitting on the steps.
坐在外面并不是——就像坐在台阶上一样。
And they were the outside main entrance steps to the school.
它们是学校外面的主入口台阶。
His teacher didn't want to speak to me for the story.
他的老师不想和我谈论这个故事。
David and about half a dozen of his classmates walked outside, stunned.
大卫和大约六名同学走到外面，震惊不已。
We were sitting on the steps, and no one was talking.
我们坐在台阶上，没有人说话。
No one was saying anything.
没有人说什么。
Any trying to comfort each other or anything like that?
有没有试图互相安慰或类似的事情？
No, we were all suffering independently next to each other.
不，我们都在彼此独立地承受着痛苦。
When school was finally over, David's aunt picked him up like usual.
当学校终于放学时，大卫的姨妈像往常一样来接他。
And I told her, yeah, this thing happened at school.
我告诉她，是的，这件事发生在学校。
We saw something.
我们看到了一些东西。
And she was concerned because I couldn't even get the words out.
她很担心，因为我什至无法说出话来。
I was just scared to talk about it, I guess.
我想我只是害怕谈论它。
Which was really unlike him.
这真的很不像他。
David was a chatty, hyper verbal kid, the smart kid in class.
大卫是一个健谈、爱说话的孩子，是班上最聪明的孩子。
So when he was suddenly unable to talk, she and David's mom knew something was wrong, but they didn't get why he was freaking out so bad about some movie about leprechauns.
因此，当他突然无法说话时，她和大卫的妈妈知道出了什么问题，但他们不明白为什么他会对一部有关小妖精的电影感到如此害怕。
And so, my older cousins came home and were just like, no, that's a horror movie.
所以，我的表兄弟姐妹们回到家后就说，不，那是一部恐怖电影。
No, they couldn't have shown that to the kids.
不，他们不能向孩子们展示这一点。
There's no justification for that.
这样做是没有道理的。
David's cousins, like a lot of older cousins, were kind of that weird mix between bodyguards and tormentors.
大卫的表兄弟，就像许多年长的表兄弟一样，是保镖和施虐者之间的奇怪混合体。
Like, this is our nerd.
就像，这是我们的书呆子。
No one messes with him but us.
除了我们，没有人敢惹他。
David's mom, Jovita, says that after the movie, David couldn't sleep alone for weeks.
大卫的妈妈乔维塔说，电影结束后，大卫好几个星期都无法独自入睡。
He didn't want to take a shower behind a closed curtain.
他不想在拉上窗帘后洗澡。
I had to sit in the bathroom with him.
我不得不和他一起坐在浴室里。
Because he was old enough to shower by himself, but I had to sit in there, have the curtains semi-open, and say, I'm here, son.
因为他已经大到可以自己洗澡了，但我必须坐在那儿，把窗帘半开着，然后说，我在这儿，儿子。
Go ahead.
前进。
Especially when I had to wash his hair and his face, you know?
尤其是当我不得不给他洗头发和脸的时候，你知道吗？
When he washed it, if he closed his eyes, I had to make sure I held his hand.
当他洗衣服时，如果他闭上眼睛，我必须确保握住他的手。
David felt like any time his eyes were closed, he might open them and find a demon leprechaun attacking him.
大卫觉得只要他闭上眼睛，睁开眼睛就会发现一只恶魔妖精正在攻击他。
Jovita told me that after the movie, there was a way that fear just kind of wormed its way into the rest of David's life, like at the grocery store, Jovita told me.
乔维塔告诉我，电影结束后，恐惧就以一种方式渗透到大卫的余生中，就像在杂货店一样，乔维塔告诉我。
He was afraid to go down the Halloween aisle, didn't like seeing the masks or anything costumey.
他害怕走上万圣节的过道，不喜欢看到面具或任何盛装的东西。
Jovita bought him a Batman nightlight.
乔维塔给他买了一盏蝙蝠侠夜灯。
He'd never been afraid of the dark before.
他以前从来没有害怕过黑暗。
A lot of people have a movie like this when you're a kid, the movie you see way too young, after which you kind of can't get your life back.
很多人小时候都看过这样的电影，你看的电影太年轻了，看完之后你就无法恢复自己的生活了。
Sometimes it's The Exorcist or something.
有时是《驱魔人》之类的。
Or I heard from someone who could never recover after seeing a documentary about acid rain in second grade science class.
或者我听说有人在二年级科学课上看了一部关于酸雨的纪录片后再也无法康复。
For me, it was The Piano, a period drama with Holly Hunter about frontiersmen in New Zealand in the 1800s.
对我来说，它是《钢琴》，这是一部由霍利·亨特 (Holly Hunter) 主演的历史剧，讲述 1800 年代新西兰拓荒者的故事。
It's rated R for moments of, quote, "extremely graphic sexuality." Also, a guy chops off his wife's finger with an ax, which I will never not remember.
它因“极其生动的性行为”时刻而被评为 R 级。还有，一个男人用斧子砍掉了他妻子的手指，我永远不会忘记。
I saw it when I was 10.
我10岁的时候就看过了。
I don't know why I didn't turn it off.
我不知道为什么我没有把它关掉。
For what it's worth, I'm also Latina.
无论如何，我也是拉丁裔。
Toughness was a point of pride in my family, too.
坚韧也是我家人的骄傲。
But the big difference between David and me is that I saw that movie, and it was over.
但大卫和我之间最大的区别是我看了那部电影，然后它就结束了。
I didn't talk about it.
我没有谈论它。
I did everything I could to shut it out.
我竭尽全力将其拒之门外。
That wasn't possible for David.
这对大卫来说是不可能的。
Because in David's case, over 200 kids in his school went through this mandatory horror together, all at once.
因为在大卫的例子中，他学校里的 200 多个孩子同时经历了这种强制性的恐怖。
Four teachers played the movie to a bunch of classes, second graders up through fifth graders.
四位老师向一群班级（从二年级到五年级的学生）播放了这部电影。
Parents all started calling each other about it and calling the school.
家长们开始互相打电话讨论这件事，并给学校打电话。
So David couldn't put it away because it was all anyone would talk about.
所以大卫不能把它收起来，因为这是每个人都会谈论的话题。
It became the thing that happened that year.
就变成了当年发生的事情。
And if you think this is the point where adults come in and make things better, it's not.
如果你认为这是成年人介入并让事情变得更好的关键，那么事实并非如此。
Because what happened instead was what happens a lot of the time when you're a kid and adults swoop in to try to solve something, which is, they sometimes make it so much worse.
因为发生的事情是当你还是个孩子的时候很多时候发生的事情，而成年人突然介入试图解决一些问题，也就是说，他们有时会让事情变得更糟。
This is Fox News, 1230.
我是福克斯新闻，1230。
Reporter 1 Houston Elementary School teachers are under fire for showing an R-rated movie to students.
记者 1 休斯顿小学的老师因向学生播放 R 级电影而受到批评。
The Leprechaun controversy started at Browning Elementary School--
小妖精争议始于布朗宁小学——
Leprechaun is a violent tale of a murderous elf.
《妖精》是一个关于凶残精灵的暴力故事。
I think it was nasty.
我认为这很糟糕。
Reporter 3 What do you mean, nasty?
记者3 你什么意思，讨厌？
Horrible!
可怕！
Man I don't think it's something that should have been done in school.
伙计，我不认为这是应该在学校做的事情。
I think it should have been done at home.
我认为这应该在家里完成。
Debra, help me with the terminology here.
黛布拉，帮我解释一下这里的术语。
Is Browning on that list of what they call troubled or unacceptable schools or whatever?
布朗宁是否在他们所说的有问题或不可接受的学校之类的名单上？
David's mom happens to be one of those moms who kept the news on all the time.
大卫的妈妈恰好是那些一直报道新闻的妈妈之一。
And whenever the local Houston newscasters would talk about it, they would show a clip of the movie in the background.
每当休斯敦当地的新闻播音员谈论这件事时，他们都会在背景中播放电影片段。
So it would be a voiceover over stock footage of The Leprechaun.
所以这将是妖精素材的画外音。
And hurt them he does in some rather graphic ways.
他以一些相当生动的方式伤害了他们。
So now, David would be at home, sitting at the kitchen table, just doing his homework, and suddenly, the leprechaun's demented visage would spring into sight out of nowhere, terrifying him anew each time.
所以现在，大卫会在家里，坐在厨房的桌子旁，只是做作业，突然间，小妖精疯狂的面容会不知从何而来，每次都会让他再次感到恐惧。
This old lep, he played one!
这个老lep，他也玩过一把！
Lilly Sullivan Like in that news clip, this old lep, he played one, he played pogo on his lung.
莉莉·沙利文（Lilly Sullivan）就像那个新闻片段中那样，这个老lep，他演奏了一首，他在肺部演奏了单高跷。
What's happening in this clip is the leprechaun is jumping on a pogo stick on top of a man's chest, somehow impaling him with each jump, blood spurting everywhere.
这段视频中发生的是小妖精在一个男人胸口顶上的弹簧单高跷上跳跃，每次跳跃都会以某种方式刺穿他，鲜血喷得到处都是。
This was on the news all the time.
这一直是新闻报道。
I have 27 different clips I could find.
我能找到 27 个不同的剪辑。
And with every story, the footage.
每个故事、镜头。
And they say this movie should not have been shown at all.
他们说这部电影根本不应该上映。
I want me gold coin!
我要金币！
Ahh!
啊！
Lilly Sullivan Jovita would scramble to cover David's eyes and mute, but she couldn't always get there fast enough.
莉莉·沙利文·乔维塔（Lilly Sullivan Jovita）会争先恐后地捂住大卫的眼睛并保持沉默，但她总是无法足够快地到达那里。
330 parents signed a petition asking that the school fire the teachers.
330名家长签署请愿书，要求学校解雇教师。
For weeks, reporters were at the school.
几周来，记者们一直在学校里。
And the two factions of kids, the ones who were terrified by the movie and the ones who thought those kids were losers, basically ended up making their case on TV, making the divide between the scared kids and the brave kids even wider and so public.
两派孩子，一派被电影吓坏了，一派认为这些孩子是失败者，基本上最终在电视上表达了他们的观点，使害怕的孩子和勇敢的孩子之间的鸿沟变得更加广泛和公开。
And you know who came off really well?
你知道谁表现得很好吗？
The brave kids.
勇敢的孩子们。
But other children we talked with say it was no big deal.
但我们采访的其他孩子表示这没什么大不了的。
Did you think the movie was too scary?
你觉得这部电影太恐怖了吗？
A little bit.
一点点。
Reporter 7 Were you surprised to be seeing a movie like this in class?
记者7 在课堂上看到这样的电影你感到惊讶吗？
No. Lilly Sullivan Thanks a lot, Enrique Lopez.
不，莉莉·沙利文 非常感谢，恩里克·洛佩兹。
But a few kids did talk about how scared they were, the one everyone remembers.
但有几个孩子确实谈到了他们有多害怕，每个人都记得这一点。
Little Chastity walked out of class during the movie.
电影放映期间，小贞洁走出教室。
I saw half of it.
我看到了一半。
And the movie-- and the person came out, and it was ugly.
电影——人物出来了，很丑陋。
So the movie scared you?
所以这部电影吓到你了？
Young Chastity Yes.
年轻的贞操 是的。
Chastity was one of the kids on the steps with David that day.
贞洁是那天和大卫一起站在台阶上的孩子之一。
It was different for her, though.
但对她来说却不同。
She told me, it wasn't so much the movie itself that she was afraid of.
她告诉我，她害怕的并不是电影本身。
It was more scared for my soul, I guess.
我想，我的灵魂更害怕。
This was like the height of the Satanic panic.
这就像撒旦恐慌的顶峰一样。
And my parents were holy roller people.
我的父母都是神圣的滚轴人。
And I had been told as a child my whole life, Satan could get to you from things like movies or bad books.
当我还是个孩子的时候，我一生都被告知，撒旦可以通过电影或坏书之类的东西来攻击你。
Chastity only watched a couple of minutes of the movie before she'd booked it out of the classroom.
贞洁只看了几分钟这部电影就在教室外订了票。
Less than five, she was sure.
她确信，不到五个。
Was that enough for Satan?
这对撒旦来说够了吗？
I mean, I was literally frightened that I had, in some way, participated enough to where the devil would come and invade my soul.
我的意思是，我真的很害怕，因为我在某种程度上参与了足够多的事情，以至于魔鬼会来入侵我的灵魂。
Not the sort of kid who wants to end up on TV.
不是那种想上电视的孩子。
But one afternoon, reporters are in front of the school, interviewing her mom, who is not just outraged, but also the mom talking on the news the most about her outrage.
但一天下午，记者在学校门口采访她的妈妈，她妈妈不仅感到愤怒，而且也是新闻里谈论她愤怒最多的妈妈。
And Chastity is just standing there next to her, feeling embarrassed.
而贞洁只是站在她旁边，感到很尴尬。
And I felt like everybody was looking at me.
我感觉每个人都在看着我。
And people were kind of laughing and stuff.
人们都在大笑之类的。
And I kind of stood out like a sore thumb anyways, because I was the only--
无论如何，我有点引人注目，因为我是唯一的——
Chastity, by the way, was the only white kid in her class.
顺便说一句，贞洁是班上唯一的白人孩子。
Pale with blond hair and blue eyes.
肤色苍白，金发碧眼。
So I felt like I couldn't just disappear, blend in, even if I wanted to.
所以我觉得我不能就这样消失、融入其中，即使我想这样做。
But I remember talking to the reporters and I just remember them asking, how did it make you feel?
但我记得和记者交谈时，我只记得他们问，这让你感觉如何？
Or how was the movie?
或者说这部电影怎么样？
And I just said, it was scary.
我只是说，这很可怕。
The kids at school ran with that.
学校里的孩子们都跟着这样跑。
She'd pass kids in the hall, and they'd yell, it was scary, behind her.
她会在大厅里经过孩子们，他们会在她身后大喊，这太可怕了。
And Chastity had never been one of the coolest kids to begin with.
贞操从一开始就不是最酷的孩子之一。
I had a lot of friends, and most people were nice to me, but I also was very insecure.
我有很多朋友，大多数人对我都很好，但我也很没有安全感。
I had a lot of issues at home.
我家里有很多问题。
And then just, too, physically, how different I was than everybody else, and then with this whole situation, it just brought more attention to me, I felt like.
然后，在身体上，我与其他人有多么不同，然后在整个情况下，它只是给我带来了更多的关注，我觉得。
And I felt like I was bullied more.
而且我感觉自己被欺负的更多了。
I cried about it for sure.
我肯定为此哭泣。
So it's like the little phrase that has gone down in infamy, I guess.
我想这就像是一个臭名昭著的小短语。
She was like, it was scary.
她说，这太可怕了。
And yeah.
是的。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
Chastity Because I am 35 now, and I will still, when I run into people from elementary school or someone gets in contact with me on social media, they'll still say the whole, it was scary.
贞洁 因为我现在已经35岁了，而且我仍然会，当我遇到小学的人或者有人在社交媒体上与我联系时，他们仍然会说整个，这很可怕。
And it's like, it kind of feels like sometimes if people don't even remember the whole situation, they remember the it was scary part.
就好像，有时候人们甚至不记得整个情况，他们会记得那是可怕的部分。
And that was the sound bite, I guess, because whenever they ran out of material to kind of make fun of me with, it would revert back to that.
我猜这就是原声摘要，因为每当他们没有足够的材料来取笑我时，它就会恢复到原来的状态。
Because of it was scary and the fact that her mom was so vocal on the news, Chastity says kids and teachers blamed her for squealing to her mom and for bringing all this chaos and negative attention to the school.
由于这件事太可怕了，而且她妈妈在新闻中如此直言不讳，孩子们和老师都指责她向妈妈尖叫，并给学校带来了所有这些混乱和负面关注。
When Chastity looks back on all this, there's a whole list of adults who put her in this situation-- her mom, a TV reporter who made her the poster child for the losers, her parents and church, who told her the devil would come after her if she saw a movie like this, and of course, her teacher, who showed her the movie.
当贞洁回顾这一切时，有一长串的成年人让她陷入了这种境地——她的妈妈，一名电视记者，让她成为失败者的典范，她的父母和教会，他们告诉她，如果她看到这样的电影，魔鬼就会追随她，当然，还有她的老师，给她看了这部电影。
The four teachers who'd shown the movie were all removed from the school.
放映这部电影的四位老师全部被学校开除。
Two were substitutes who were taken off the list of subs the school would call.
两名替补球员被从学校征召的替补名单中删除。
The two full-time teachers were suspended for 10 days and then reassigned to other schools in the district, including David and Chastity's teacher.
这两名全职教师被停职 10 天，然后被重新分配到该地区的其他学校，其中包括 David 和 Chastity 的老师。
The teachers apologized.
老师们道歉了。
David and Chastity's teacher said she owned the movie, but didn't know what was on it.
大卫和贞操的老师说她拥有这部电影，但不知道里面有什么。
That's the closest thing I found to an explanation for all this.
这是我发现的最能解释这一切的事情。
There was one thing the adults at school did to try to more directly help the kids, which also went a little weird.
学校里的成年人做了一件事来尝试更直接地帮助孩子们，这也有点奇怪。
David remembers a woman coming to his class.
大卫记得有一个女人来听他的课。
She told them she was a grief counselor.
她告诉他们她是一名悲伤辅导员。
There was an introduction that said, hi, I'm here to talk about things.
有一个介绍说，嗨，我来这里是为了谈谈事情。
If you have any fears or concerns, that's exactly what I'm here for.
如果您有任何恐惧或担忧，这正是我来这里的目的。
Which David thought, that sounds OK.
大卫认为，这听起来不错。
I do have fears and concerns.
我确实有恐惧和担忧。
But when she started the session, he didn't like how she started.
但当她开始治疗时，他不喜欢她的开始方式。
If anyone would like to talk about what they saw in Leprechaun, please come to the nurse's office now or whatever office they had us in.
如果有人想谈论他们在小妖精中看到的一切，请现在就到护士办公室或者他们让我们去的任何办公室。
And you had to raise your hand after they asked.
他们问完后你必须举手。
So basically, they were just like, is anyone here still afraid of The Leprechaun thing?
所以基本上，他们就像，这里还有人害怕妖精的事情吗？
Raise your hand if so.
如果有请举手。
What did you do?
你做了什么？
Do you raise your hand, or did you--
你举手了吗，还是——
Yes.
是的。
We literally stood up and walked to the nurse's office as a group, a group of sad kids.
我们真的站起来，一群悲伤的孩子一起走向护士办公室。
And all the asshole kids were just making fun of everyone who stood up or raised their hand, which was like, you're a wuss.
所有那些混蛋孩子只是取笑每个站起来或举手的人，就像，你是个胆小鬼。
You wet the bed.
你弄湿了床。
You have bad dreams.
你做了恶梦。
You suck, that kind of thing.
你真糟糕，那种事。
Let me just point out the structural flaw at this plan.
让我指出这个计划的结构性缺陷。
Let's ask the kids who are already being teased to self-identify as weenies in front of their peers and get marched away as a group.
让我们问问那些已经被嘲笑的孩子，在同龄人面前自认是小孩子，然后集体被带走。
Anyway, the grief counselor sat the sad kids down in their sad little group.
不管怎样，悲伤辅导员让悲伤的孩子们坐在他们悲伤的小团体中。
She starts asking us questions.
她开始问我们问题。
And the questions are, presumably, basic grief counselor questions.
这些问题大概是悲伤咨询师的基本问题。
What's your name?
你叫什么名字？
Do you feel safe at home?
你在家感觉安全吗？
What's your home life like?
你的家庭生活是什么样的？
Questions appropriate for kids who are experiencing loss or abuse or neglect, not necessarily Leprechaun specific.
适合正在经历失去、虐待或忽视的孩子的问题，不一定是妖精特有的。
And then time ran out, and that was it, which definitely wasn't worth the public shaming.
然后时间就到了，就这样了，这绝对不值得公众羞辱。
So when she came to class the next time, a lot of the kids who'd come to the first session dropped out.
所以当她下次来上课时，很多第一节课的孩子都退学了。
David, for whatever reason, went again.
大卫，无论出于什么原因，又去了。
And so, the grief counselor, again, she just starts asking basic questions about who you are and if you feel safe.
因此，悲伤咨询师再次开始询问有关您是谁以及您是否感到安全的基本问题。
And I remember raising my hand and being like, are we going to talk about the leprechaun?
我记得举起手问，我们要谈谈小妖精吗？
Are we going to talk about how to kill this thing?
我们要谈谈如何杀死这个东西吗？
Because in my mind, it was a real fear.
因为在我看来，这是一种真正的恐惧。
The six-year-old me was like, this is bullshit.
六岁的我当时想，这都是胡说八道。
This counselor is not worth a damn.
这个辅导员根本不值钱。
She's not giving us practical advice.
她没有给我们实用的建议。
Why are we wasting time talking about this?
我们为什么要浪费时间谈论这个？
We need to focus on killing the fucking leprechaun.
我们需要集中精力杀死那个该死的妖精。
And I remember asking the grief counselor, so if the leprechaun comes, should we just be carrying change with us?
我记得我问过悲伤咨询师，如果妖精来了，我们应该随身携带零钱吗？
Do I need to carry gold to exchange my life?
我需要携带黄金来交换我的生命吗？
Because I think there's a scene in the movie where they distract the leprechaun by throwing coins in the air.
因为我认为电影中有一个场景，他们通过向空中扔硬币来分散妖精的注意力。
I guess the idea was that if they saw coins, they had to count them or pick them up or something.
我想这个想法是，如果他们看到硬币，他们必须数它们或捡起它们或其他什么。
And they were throwing shoes because the leprechaun was a cobbler, and he needed to clean shoes.
他们扔鞋子是因为小妖精是个补鞋匠，他需要擦鞋子。
But it was those types of questions.
但正是这些类型的问题。
Do I need holy water?
我需要圣水吗？
For real, I need somebody who's educated in this who's seen the movie and can tell me the actual practical recipe to killing a leprechaun.
说实话，我需要一个受过这方面教育的人，看过这部电影，并且可以告诉我杀死妖精的实际方法。
What did she say?
她说什么？
David Quiroz I remember her being kind of taken aback by the questions and just giving the same kind of stock answer of, this isn't real.
大卫·奎罗兹（David Quiroz） 我记得她对这些问题有点吃惊，只是给出了同样的老套答案：这不是真的。
This isn't something you should have to worry about, which is not helpful.
这不是您应该担心的事情，这没有帮助。
It felt more like, oh, let's send her to the poor Brown school and make sure the kids are all right.
感觉更像是，哦，让我们把她送到贫穷的布朗学校，确保孩子们都没事。
David just remembers feeling like the message he was getting from adults kept being like, the problem isn't the movie.
大卫只记得他从成年人那里得到的信息一直是这样的，问题不在于电影。
The problem is your reaction.
问题是你的反应。
There's no reason to be so scared.
没有理由如此害怕。
David didn't agree.
大卫不同意。
Again, he was a really bright kid in a class with other bright kids.
再一次，他和其他聪明的孩子一起在班上是一个非常聪明的孩子。
And so, people were more able to express, yo, I don't have anything at home that I'm really worried about.
因此，人们更能够表达，哟，我家里没有任何我真正担心的东西。
I'm just really worried about the leprechaun.
我只是真的很担心小妖精。
Or I'm afraid of the dark.
或者说我害怕黑暗。
Or one girl wet the bed as a result of it, which is sad and true.
或者一个女孩因此而尿床，这是令人悲伤和真实的。
How do you know that?
你怎么知道的？
David Quiroz Because we had to disclose these things in this fucking group session to this goddamn grief counselor.
大卫·奎罗兹 因为我们必须在这个该死的小组会议上向这个该死的悲伤辅导员透露这些事情。
So the grief counselor was like, has anyone in here wet the bed, and someone had to raise their hand?
所以悲伤辅导员说，这里有没有人尿床，有人不得不举手？
Oh, yeah, somebody had to opt into that, right?
哦，是的，有人必须选择这样做，对吧？
And it was a little girl in my class.
那是我班上的一个小女孩。
You remember her name?
你还记得她的名字吗？
David Quiroz [BLEEP] Lopez.
大卫·奎罗兹 [BLEEP] 洛佩兹。
[LAUGHS] Please bleep that.
[笑]请发出嘟嘟声。
Oh, David, so considerate all these years later.
哦，大卫，这么多年过去了，还是那么体贴。
You know who wasn't so discreet?
你知道谁不那么谨慎吗？
[BLEEP] Lopez's mom.
[BLEEP] 洛佩兹的妈妈。
She told the news.
她告诉了这个消息。
She's urinating in her bed, and she doesn't want to sleep alone.
她在床上撒尿，她不想一个人睡。
She's just-- I just have a lot of problems with her right now.
她只是——我现在和她之间有很多问题。
Parents-- am I right?
父母们——我说得对吗？
Ira Glass Lilly Sullivan is one of the producers of our show.
艾拉·格拉斯·莉莉·沙利文是我们节目的制片人之一。
Coming up, teenagers left in a room with other teenagers at church.
接下来，青少年们和教堂里的其他青少年一起离开了一个房间。
What could possibly go wrong there?
那里可能出什么问题？
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, the kids' table, stories of what happens when the kids are on their own.
今天的节目，儿童餐桌，讲述孩子们独自一人时发生的故事。
The grown-ups have left the room, and the kids have to figure things out by themselves.
大人们已经离开了房间，孩子们必须自己解决问题。
We've arrived at act two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two, "Classified Dad." This story is about what happens when an adult really is never around at all for a long time and the strange consequences and desires that can come out of that.
第二幕，“机密爸爸”。这个故事讲述的是当一个成年人真的很长时间不在身边时会发生什么，以及由此可能产生的奇怪后果和欲望。
Chris Benderev explains.
克里斯·本德列夫解释道。
In 2018, Georgie Codd was on a cruise with her mom.
2018 年，乔吉·科德 (Georgie Codd) 和妈妈一起乘游轮旅行。
And the day this all started was not as fun as she'd imagined.
而这一切开始的那一天并没有她想象的那么有趣。
Their ship had been scheduled to dock at the picturesque Shetland Islands off the northern coast of Scotland, but instead, because of bad weather, the boat had docked in an unremarkable industrial Scottish town.
他们的船原定停靠在苏格兰北部海岸风景如画的设得兰群岛，但由于天气恶劣，船却停靠在一个不起眼的苏格兰工业小镇。
We were rerouted to a port called invergordon, which possibly has a lot going for it, but I'd imagined that we'd be in Shetland, having this wonderful time, looking at tiny horses-- because Shetland ponies.
我们被改道到一个叫因弗戈登的港口，那里可能有很多好处，但我想象我们会在设得兰群岛，享受这段美好的时光，看看小马——因为设得兰群岛的小马。
And instead, we went to a very dreary museum, looking at a reproduction stethoscope from 1965.
相反，我们去了一家非常沉闷的博物馆，参观了 1965 年的听诊器复制品。
And then Peter, our friend Peter popped up.
然后彼得，我们的朋友彼得出现了。
Peter was a 70-year-old man from Wales who Georgie and her mom had met in the cruise ship's dining hall a few days earlier.
彼得是一位来自威尔士的 70 岁男子，乔吉和她妈妈几天前在游轮的餐厅里认识了他。
He'd told them corny jokes and a lot of stories from his days as a firefighter.
他给他们讲了一些老生常谈的笑话和很多他当消防员时的故事。
They liked him.
他们喜欢他。
And now, in the museum, he invited the two of them to go get coffee.
而现在，在博物馆里，他邀请两人去喝咖啡。
We found this community cafe, and the three of us sat down on a table, which had an empty seat.
我们找到了这家社区咖啡馆，我们三个人坐在了一张桌子上，桌子上有一个空座位。
And about two, three minutes later, a woman came up who none of us had met before, but was also on the cruise ship.
大约两三分钟后，一位我们以前从未见过的女士出现了，但她也在游轮上。
And she asked us, could she sit and join us on the table?
她问我们，她可以坐下来和我们一起坐在桌子上吗？
And without skipping a beat, Peter said, oh, I was just telling my wife and daughter it'd be lovely to have some company.
彼得毫不犹豫地说，哦，我只是告诉我的妻子和女儿，有人陪伴就好了。
And she sat down, none the wiser.
她坐下来，仍然没有任何反应。
My mum, I think, groaned, possibly rolled her eyes.
我想，我的妈妈呻吟着，可能还翻了个白眼。
And then he spotted my mum's reaction to what he'd said, and he corrected himself.
然后他发现我妈妈对他所说的话的反应，他纠正了自己。
Oh, ex-wife, ex-wife.
哦，前妻，前妻。
We liked to go on holiday still for Georgina to keep the family together.
我们仍然喜欢去度假，因为乔治娜可以让家人团聚。
Georgie's mom mostly sat out this practical joke.
乔吉的妈妈基本上对这个恶作剧袖手旁观。
Georgie, meanwhile, tried to gauge whether Peter was really going to keep this up.
与此同时，乔吉试图判断彼得是否真的会继续这样下去。
He was.
他是。
He was saying things like, oh, Georgina's very clever.
他说的是，哦，乔治娜很聪明。
She's a writer.
她是一位作家。
She's published a book.
她出版了一本书。
She did really well at school.
她在学校表现非常好。
All true, by the way.
顺便说一句，都是真的。
Georgie decided to play along.
乔吉决定一起玩。
Oh, Pops works in the fire service, you know.
哦，你知道，爸爸在消防部门工作。
He's a retired firefighter.
他是一名退休消防员。
He used to go up and down the town in Swansea, asking the ladies to get on his fire truck.
他常常在斯旺西镇上走来走去，请女士们上他的消防车。
And I have no doubt the woman thought we were a very strange family, but she seemed to believe that we were a family.
我毫不怀疑那个女人认为我们是一个非常奇怪的家庭，但她似乎相信我们是一个家庭。
Eventually, Peter, Georgie, and her mom said goodbye to the woman and left.
最终，彼得、乔吉和她的妈妈告别了那个女人并离开了。
Out on the street, they laughed, proud of pulling off this stupid little caper.
在街上，他们哈哈大笑，为完成这个愚蠢的小动作而感到自豪。
As they walked back to the ship, Peter mentioned to Georgie--
当他们走回船上时，彼得向乔吉提到——
I always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter.
我一直在想，如果有一个女儿，会是什么样子。
And I thought immediately, wow, I've always wondered what it would be like to have a dad.
我立刻想，哇，我一直想知道有一个爸爸会是什么样子。
Georgie's dad wasn't with her on this cruise because he wasn't in her life, never had been, left before Georgie was even born.
乔治的父亲没有和她一起参加这次巡游，因为他从来没有出现在她的生活中，甚至在乔治出生之前就离开了。
When she was 25, she found out where he lived and arranged a visit.
25 岁时，她找到了他的住处并安排了一次拜访。
She packed her bags and was on her way to the station when she got a call from her uncle telling her that her dad had died.
她收拾好行李，在去车站的路上，接到叔叔的电话，告诉她父亲去世了。
He'd had health issues.
他有健康问题。
The closest she got to him was at the funeral.
她离他最近的一次是在葬礼上。
So she'd never had a father figure in her life until in a really small, silly way, those 15 minutes in the cafe with Peter.
所以她一生中从来没有父亲的形象，直到以一种非常小而愚蠢的方式，那就是和彼得在咖啡馆里度过的那15分钟。
It'd been such an odd thing, but it felt so good and so unusual.
这是一件很奇怪的事情，但感觉很好，很不寻常。
And she just wanted to see, could that be a relationship that she'd have in her life?
她只是想看看，这会是她一生中的一段感情吗？
An older man to give advice and make dad jokes and be proud.
一个年长的男人可以提供建议，让爸爸开玩笑并感到自豪。
It's like he lit a little spark or something.
就像他点燃了一点火花什么的。
I felt very elated.
我感到非常高兴。
It seemed like a little door had opened or I'd glimpsed something.
似乎有一扇小门打开了，或者我瞥见了一些东西。
What would you say that was?
你说那是什么？
Georgie Codd Hmm.
乔吉·科德 嗯。
I think it was a need to feel acceptable and lovable by men without a hidden agenda?
我认为这是一种需要让男人感到可以接受和可爱，没有隐藏的议程？
This is sort of a big thing to discover on a sightseeing trip to Invergordon, that she wanted a dad's love, but it stuck with her.
这是在因弗戈登观光旅行中发现的一件大事，她想要父亲的爱，但这一直困扰着她。
She'd enjoyed Peter's improvisation, but that wasn't exactly what she was after.
她很喜欢彼得的即兴创作，但这并不是她想要的。
Then Georgie got an idea.
然后乔治想到了一个主意。
And you should know, Georgie is the type of person who gets very creative when she tries to solve a problem.
你应该知道，乔吉是那种在尝试解决问题时会变得非常有创造力的人。
She once worked in a funeral parlor to deal with her fear of death, took scuba diving lessons because she was scared of fish.
她曾经在殡仪馆工作来应对对死亡的恐惧，因为害怕鱼而参加了水肺潜水课程。
And so she made an ad for a dad, a classified ad.
所以她为一位父亲制作了一个广告，一个分类广告。
It said she was looking for someone to act as a father figure, nothing sexual.
上面说她正在寻找一个扮演父亲角色的人，与性无关。
She could be reached at [email protected] .
可以通过 [email protected] 联系她。
Georgie figured a lot of the men who could be her father still read actual newspapers and magazines.
乔吉认为很多可能成为她父亲的男人仍然阅读真正的报纸和杂志。
So I started with a magazine called New Scientist because I thought I'd quite like a dad who knows science.
所以我开始看一本叫做《新科学家》的杂志，因为我想我很喜欢一个懂科学的爸爸。
And I decided for the advert to run just after Christmas because all the dad type folks would have got subscriptions for their Christmas present, so the numbers would be quite high--
我决定在圣诞节后投放广告，因为所有爸爸类型的人都会订阅他们的圣诞礼物，所以数字会相当高 -
That's quite sensible.
这是相当明智的。
That's very strategic.
这非常具有战略意义。
Oh, I was, yeah, very strategic, very strategic.
哦，是的，我非常有策略，非常有策略。
As you might expect, she heard from a lot of creepy older guys.
正如你所料，她收到了很多令人毛骨悚然的老家伙的来信。
But they weren't all like that.
但他们并不都是这样。
Many people saw the ad for what it was and seemed genuinely interested.
许多人看到了广告的本质，并且似乎真的很感兴趣。
She emailed with a bunch of them, in particular, this one guy, Clive.
她给一群人发了电子邮件，特别是克莱夫这个人。
He was in his 60s, had had kids from multiple marriages, was estranged from one of his children, something he seemed sad about.
他已经 60 多岁了，多次婚姻育有孩子，与其中一个孩子关系疏远，他似乎对此感到难过。
Georgie and Clive emailed for weeks, and then they started talking on the phone, too.
乔治和克莱夫连续几周发电子邮件，然后他们也开始通电话。
I mean, the first time on the phone, we both acknowledged the awkwardness of it, which was a great icebreaker and a green flag for me.
我的意思是，第一次通电话时，我们都承认这很尴尬，这对我来说是一次很好的破冰行动，也是一面绿旗。
Clive stood out from all the other fake dads that she'd e-mailed with.
克莱夫在与她发电子邮件的所有其他假爸爸中脱颖而出。
Some of these guys, they were just waxing lyrical about life and the universe and everything.
其中一些人，他们只是对生命、宇宙和一切充满抒情。
But Clive was very engaged and remembered details that I told him, showed a real interest in me and my life.
但克莱夫非常投入，记得我告诉他的细节，对我和我的生活表现出真正的兴趣。
And I was interested in him and his life.
我对他和他的生活很感兴趣。
And he was open about struggles that he'd had with mental health and alcohol.
他对自己在心理健康和酗酒方面所经历的挣扎持开放态度。
And we would easily be on the phone for 90 minutes, two hours.
我们很容易就通电话 90 分钟，甚至两个小时。
I think we clicked.
我想我们一拍即合。
We just clicked.
我们刚刚点击了。
They talked about kids.
他们谈论了孩子。
Georgie was wondering if she should have them.
乔吉想知道她是否应该拥有它们。
And they talked politics-- more than she liked, even though their politics were the same.
他们谈论政治——超出了她喜欢的范围，尽管他们的政治观点是相同的。
Brexit.
英国脱欧。
Brexit would come up so often.
英国脱欧会经常出现。
I guess, much like a daughter might do to their dad, which is like, ugh, I mean, can we just talk-- let's just talk about something else.
我想，就像女儿对爸爸所做的那样，呃，我的意思是，我们可以谈谈吗——让我们谈谈别的事情吧。
Let's talk about something else.
我们来谈谈别的事情吧。
Shall I have babies or not?
我到底要不要孩子？
Come on, Clive.
来吧，克莱夫。
Tell me.
告诉我。
They never met face to face, but they talk on the phone maybe every month or so for a year and a half.
他们从未面对面见过面，但在一年半的时间里，他们可能每个月左右都会通一次电话。
It was going really well.
进展非常顺利。
After a while, though, things shifted a little bit.
然而，过了一段时间，事情发生了一些变化。
And we had this phone call.
我们接到了这个电话。
And towards the end of the call, he said that he had been drinking.
电话快结束时，他说他喝了酒。
And he started telling me that he loved me.
他开始告诉我他爱我。
And why wouldn't I call more regularly?
我为什么不更经常地打电话呢？
He would love it if I would just call more regularly.
如果我能更经常地打电话，他会很高兴的。
And I felt cornered.
我感到被逼入绝境。
And it wasn't anything like the tone of conversation we'd had for all those months up to that point.
这与我们几个月以来的谈话语气完全不同。
And I got scared.
我很害怕。
And I wrapped it up.
我把它包起来。
And I emailed him that I didn't feel able to be in that relationship anymore, having heard what he'd said in that call.
我给他发了一封电子邮件，表示在听到他在电话中所说的话后，我觉得自己无法再维持这种关系了。
What did it do to you that 18 months into what seemed like a kind of successful fake dad situation, that he had actually seen it romantically?
在看似成功的假爸爸事件发生 18 个月后，他实际上看到了这种浪漫，这对你有什么影响？
Well, it's interesting that you say romantic because, actually, it didn't feel like he was being romantic.
嗯，有趣的是，你说浪漫，因为实际上，感觉他并不浪漫。
Even though he was saying I love you, and I-- I didn't feel like he wanted to get in bed with me or anything.
尽管他说我爱你，但我……我不觉得他想和我上床或做任何事。
It just felt like he so craved, he was so craving the company.
感觉他是如此渴望，他是如此渴望有人陪伴。
Which is to say, she'd gotten exactly what she'd asked for-- a relationship like what a lot of people have with their parents, who, understandably, want more phone calls and time and attention.
也就是说，她得到了她所要求的一切——一种像很多人与父母之间的关系，可以理解的是，父母想要更多的电话、时间和关注。
And I couldn't be there.
我不能去那里。
I couldn't call all the time.
我不能一直打电话。
And I bailed.
我保释了。
I think I got scared and went into hiding.
我想我很害怕并躲了起来。
I still feel extremely guilty and sad about that.
对此我至今仍感到非常内疚和难过。
It's been six months since she emailed Clive, which, by the way, is not his real name.
自从她给克莱夫发电子邮件以来已经过去了六个月，顺便说一句，这不是他的真名。
She couldn't bring herself to look in the inbox again until our interview.
在我们采访之前，她无法再次查看收件箱。
Still hasn't written back.
还没有回信。
Georgie is still in touch with the guy on the boat, the one who gave her the idea in the first place, Peter.
乔吉仍然与船上的那个人保持联系，他是第一个给她这个想法的人，彼得。
They talk now and then, are friendly.
他们时不时地说话，很友好。
A while back, he mailed her a box of cakes when she was feeling down.
前段时间，当她心情低落时，他给她寄了一盒蛋糕。
And by the way, when she told him about the ad, he was horrified and worried.
顺便说一句，当她告诉他这则广告时，他感到震惊和担心。
You're going to get murdered, he told her, just like a real dad would say.
你会被谋杀，他告诉她，就像一个真正的父亲会说的那样。
Chris Benderev is a producer here at our show.
克里斯·本德列夫 (Chris Benderev) 是我们节目的制片人。
Act Three, "Stations of the Double Cross." So our show today is about kids trying to make sense of what happens when grown-ups are not around.
第三幕，“双十字车站”。所以我们今天的节目是关于孩子们试图理解当大人不在身边时会发生什么。
And in this act, it's religious kids and the mischief they get into, even when they're trying to do right by God.
在这个行为中，这是虔诚的孩子和他们所陷入的恶作剧，即使他们试图为上帝做正确的事。
Michelle Navarro attended a church retreat when she was in middle school.
米歇尔·纳瓦罗在中学时参加了一次教堂静修活动。
She has changed the names in this story.
她更改了这个故事中的名字。
I'd been hearing about the retreat for years.
多年来我一直听说撤退的消息。
It happened every Easter at my local Catholic parish on the southwest side of Chicago.
每年复活节，这种事都会发生在芝加哥西南侧我当地的天主教教区。
And at 13, when I was finally old enough, I thought I should go.
13 岁时，当我终于长大了，我想我应该离开。
I always noticed the effect that chanting prayers and rosaries had on the adults in my family.
我总是注意到念诵祈祷文和念珠对我家里的成年人的影响。
It was the only place I saw their faces fully rested, at peace, and wondered, why didn't I feel any of it?
这是我唯一看到他们的脸完全休息、平静的地方，我想知道为什么我没有感觉到任何感觉？
I was standing in between them, but I was an outsider.
我站在他们中间，但我是一个局外人。
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
I was a good kid, got good grades, spent a lot of time in libraries and book sections of thrift stores, went to catechism classes and mass every week.
我是一个好孩子，成绩很好，花了很多时间在图书馆和旧货店的图书区，每周都去参加教义问答课程和弥撒。
But Catholicism, I couldn't make any sense of it, and I really wanted to.
但是天主教，我无法理解它，但我真的很想理解。
This four-day retreat, it was run by the youth group at the parish, a group of teens from my neighborhood whose mission was to get other teens involved with the church.
这个为期四天的静修活动是由教区的青年团体组织的，这是一群来自我附近的青少年，他们的任务是让其他青少年参与教会。
They hyped it up to us.
他们向我们大肆宣传。
And the thing they said about it that really got my attention was that every year, during this retreat, there was a moment, a moment in the Catholic school gym basement where they found Jesus, felt his unconditional love.
他们所说的真正引起我注意的是，每年，在这次静修期间，都有一个时刻，在天主教学校体育馆的地下室里，他们找到了耶稣，感受到了他无条件的爱。
They describe this moment as warm and right and that it was when they knew they wanted to serve him.
他们形容这一刻是温暖而正确的，就在那时他们知道自己想为他服务。
They called it a newfound love, a newfound purpose, a change in perspective, which is what I felt I needed exactly.
他们称之为新发现的爱、新发现的目标、观点的改变，这正是我觉得我所需要的。
I had been waiting around for a revelation, an epiphany, and thought that this retreat is where I could feel it.
我一直在等待一个启示、一个顿悟，并认为这个静修处就是我能感受到它的地方。
So I signed up.
所以我报名了。
The second day of the retreat was Good Friday, and they took us, a herd of 13 to 17-year-old Mexican-American kids, to watch the annual neighborhood re-enactment of the crucifixion.
静修的第二天是耶稣受难日，他们带着我们一群 13 到 17 岁的墨西哥裔美国孩子去观看一年一度的受难事件社区重演。
Every year, there was a long-haired Jesus, this year, performed by a former youth leader whose name was, in fact, Jesus.
每年都有一个长发的耶稣，今年，由一位前青年领袖表演，他的名字其实就是耶稣。
Well, Jesus.
好吧，耶稣。
He wore nothing but a thorny crown on his head and a white bedsheet wrapped around his crotch.
他头上只戴了一顶荆棘王冠，胯下裹着一条白色的床单。
About eight men followed around him, dressed in full Party City Roman soldier costume attire, with red capes and plastic helmets and whips they would snap at Jesus's feet, as he hauled a wooden cross three times his size around my neighborhood.
大约八个人跟随在他周围，他们穿着全套派对城罗马士兵服装，戴着红色斗篷，戴着塑料头盔，当耶稣拖着一个三倍于他大小的木十字架在我家附近走动时，他们会用鞭子敲打耶稣的脚。
A priest followed in the back of a pickup truck with a big loudspeaker to read each station of the cross.
一名牧师坐在一辆皮卡车后面，用大扩音器朗读十字架的每一站。
Local cart vendors were posted up, eloteros selling corn and raspados-- think Mexican snow cones.
当地的手推车摊贩们张贴在街头，出售玉米和拉斯帕多斯——想想墨西哥的雪锥。
My favorite friend from catechism class, Crystal, who had edgy dyed red hair, but was never too cool to participate, walked with me and got some corn along the way.
我在教义问答课上最喜欢的朋友克里斯托（Crystal），她有一头前卫的红发，但从不觉得太酷而不愿参加，她和我一起散步，一路上还买了一些玉米。
One of the youth leaders, José, noticed that me and the girl beside me didn't get one.
一位青年领袖何塞注意到我和我旁边的女孩没有得到一份。
He pointed at us and smiled.
他指着我们微笑。
You guys don't want one, he asked.
你们不想要一个，他问道。
I got you.
我接到你了。
We shyly declined.
我们羞涩地拒绝了。
The teen leaders walked and talked to us, asked us what school we went to, which boys at the retreat we thought were cute.
青少年领袖一边走一边和我们交谈，问我们去了哪所学校，我们认为静修处的哪些男孩很可爱。
Crystal made fun of our catechism teacher, Jesse, one of the more stricter ones.
克里斯特尔取笑我们的教义问答老师杰西，他是一位比较严格的老师。
Jesse was talking about the Ten Commandments and got to shall not kill, she said.
杰西正在谈论十诫，并且不得杀人，她说。
Pena raised his hand and was like, isn't your brother in the Army?
佩纳举起手问道，你哥哥不是在军队里吗？
The whole class laughed, and he got kicked out.
全班都笑了，他被赶了出去。
The teen leaders laughed, so Crystal and I were like, oh, they think we're funny.
青少年领袖们笑了，所以克里斯托和我就想，哦，他们认为我们很有趣。
And so we kept going, running through all the other priests and directors.
所以我们继续前进，询问所有其他牧师和董事。
Someone shared their best impressions of Father Greg, our one white priest, whose Spanish was terrible-- he couldn't roll his R's-- and said that their mom doesn't go to the mass anymore when he's there because she doesn't understand him.
有人分享了他们对格雷格神父的最佳印象，他是我们的一位白人牧师，他的西班牙语很糟糕——他不会滚动他的R——并说当他在那里时，他们的妈妈不再去参加弥撒了，因为她听不懂他的话。
Everyone laughed.
大家都笑了。
We followed the procession all the way to the actual crucifixion at the top of a hill in Senka Park.
我们跟随游行队伍一路走到森卡公园山顶的十字架上。
And then suddenly, the mood shifted.
然后突然间，情绪发生了变化。
The youth leaders seemed to straighten up.
青年领袖们似乎都挺直了身子。
They got serious, stopped talking to us retreaters, and started whispering among themselves.
他们变得严肃起来，不再和我们静修者说话，开始互相窃窃私语。
We all need to get to the church ASAP, one of them said.
其中一位说，我们都需要尽快到达教堂。
They rounded us up once we were out of the park and started a head count.
我们一走出公园，他们就把我们围起来并开始清点人数。
When we got back to the gym, the team leaders continued to be quiet.
当我们回到体育馆时，领队仍然保持沉默。
Everyone needs to sit down and form a circle around the room, a youth leader said, now.
一位青年领袖说，现在每个人都需要坐下来，围着房间围成一圈。
Retreaters whispered rumors of what could have happened.
撤退者低声议论可能发生的事情。
Maybe someone was ditching during the walk, or they caught someone smoking weed out of an apple from the snack table.
也许有人在散步时抛弃了东西，或者他们发现有人用小吃桌上的苹果吸大麻。
Mauricio, the one adult supervising the retreat, walked into the room, looking down at the floor with his hands in his pockets.
毛里西奥（Mauricio）是监督静修的唯一一位成年人，他走进房间，双手插在口袋里，低头看着地板。
He stood in the middle of the circle and took his sweet time to look up at us.
他站在圆圈中间，慢慢地抬头看着我们。
Lo que paso ahora...lo que paso afuera...fue absolutamente irrespetuoso.
Lo que paso ahora...lo que paso afuera...fue Absoluteamente irrespetuoso。
What happened today, what happened out there, was absolutely disrespectful.
今天发生的事情，外面发生的事情，绝对是不尊重的。
Now saying this in Spanish really kicked things up a notch.
现在用西班牙语说这句话确实让事情更上一层楼。
The whole retreat was in English up until this point.
到目前为止，整个静修活动都是用英语进行的。
And getting scolded in English was something we got from our teachers at school.
用英语挨骂是我们在学校里从老师那里得到的。
But for kids like us, hearing disappointment in the language your parents spoke made it all much more intense.
但对于像我们这样的孩子来说，听到父母所说的语言中的失望会让一切变得更加强烈。
He paced around the circle.
他绕着圆圈踱步。
He stopped again, shook his head at the floor.
他再次停了下来，对着地板摇摇头。
We were participating in the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who carried the weight of the cross to which he was destined to be nailed to, who took the whippings of the Romans.
我们正在参与耶稣基督，我们的主和救世主的受难，他承受着他注定要被钉在十字架上的重量，他承受了罗马人的鞭打。
And his mother, our Virgin Mary, watched her son suffer for what?
而他的母亲，我们的圣母玛利亚，为何看着她的儿子受苦？
For all you to take a joyful walk in the neighborhood, to buy your raspados and eat your elotes and talk and laugh?
让你们在附近愉快地散步，买拉斯帕多斯，吃你的爱洛特，说说笑笑？
His voice trembled, and he started to tear up.
他的声音在颤抖，他开始流泪。
He had one hand over his eyes.
他用一只手捂住眼睛。
He walked to the podium and grabbed a heavy crucifix.
他走到讲台上，抓起一个沉重的十字架。
Cada uno de ustedes debe sentirse avergonzado.
Cada uno de ustedes debe sentirse avergonzado。
Every single one of you should feel ashamed, he shouted.
“你们每个人都应该感到羞耻，”他喊道。
How could you call yourself a child of God when you can't stand there with Him when He sacrifices for you, when He is suffering?
当他为你牺牲时，当他受苦时，你不能与他站在一起，你怎么能称自己是神的孩子呢？
He held the crucifix tight to his chest and continued to cry.
他将十字架紧紧抱在胸前，继续哭泣。
It was my first time seeing a grown man cry in real life.
这是我第一次在现实生活中看到一个成年男人哭泣。
He was out of breath at times in between the yelling and the crying.
在大喊大叫和哭泣之间，他有时会气喘吁吁。
The room stayed still, and no one was making eye contact with each other.
房间里一片寂静，没有人互相眼神交流。
I quickly tried to recall the whole walk in my head and what I was doing, thinking, oh, shit, I was talking.
我很快就试图在脑海中回忆起整个过程以及我在做什么，心想，哦，该死，我在说话。
Was I talking loud?
我说话大声了吗？
Did I laugh?
我笑了吗？
Damn, I did laugh.
该死的，我确实笑了。
Panicked, I looked at Crystal to see how she was taking it.
我惊慌失措地看着克里斯托，想看看她的反应如何。
And I noticed tears were streaming down her face.
我注意到泪水从她的脸上流下来。
She was still loosely holding the corn on the cob she bought.
她还松松地拿着她买的玉米棒子。
She got up, threw it out, and a bunch of retreaters began to do the same.
她站起来，把它扔了出去，一群静修者也开始做同样的事。
You see this?
你看到这个了吗？
He held up the large crucifix and quickly walked towards the center of the circle.
他举起那巨大的十字架，快步向圆圈中心走去。
This, this is what you did today, he yelled.
这，这就是你今天所做的，他喊道。
He slammed the crucifix at the center of the circle.
他猛击圆圈中心的十字架。
I closed my eyes as ceramic hit the floor.
当陶瓷掉到地板上时，我闭上了眼睛。
It shattered, scattering pieces all over.
它碎裂了，碎片散落一地。
There was a collective flinch and gasp.
人们集体畏缩和喘息。
Mauricio walked out.
毛里西奥走了出去。
It was like watching someone spit out the wafer you get at communion back into the priest's hands.
这就像看着有人把你在圣餐中得到的薄饼吐回到牧师的手中。
I looked around to see a lot of retreaters' heads down, hearing disrupted breaths from crying.
我环顾四周，看到很多静修者都低着头，听到哭声中断的呼吸声。
This girl, Karla, who went to the same middle school as me and was known to be somewhat of a troublemaker, was sitting right behind me.
坐在我身后的是这个和我在同一所中学，被认为是个捣蛋鬼的女孩，名叫卡拉。
She took a deep sigh and with the exhale, let out a, what the fuck?
她深深地叹了口气，呼出一口气，“这他妈的是什么？”
Which, in a way, was exactly what I was thinking.
从某种程度上来说，这正是我的想法。
Dude, be fucking respectful, said the boy sitting behind her.
伙计，他妈的要尊重，”坐在她后面的男孩说。
Dude, don't say fucking.
哥们，别说他妈的了。
We at church, said another whisper behind him.
“我们在教堂，”他身后又低声说道。
You just said it, Karla quickly snapped.
你刚刚就说了，卡拉很快厉声说道。
A collective shh followed.
接下来是集体嘘声。
I turned and looked at Karla.
我转身看着卡拉。
She leaned in, smacked her lips, and whispered, man, they do this every year.
她倾身过去，咂咂嘴唇，低声说道，伙计，他们每年都会这样做。
Areceli told me.
阿雷塞利告诉我的。
I couldn't even process it.
我什至无法处理它。
So this is an act that they put on every year to make us feel bad?
所以这是他们每年都会做的事情，让我们感觉不舒服？
That seemed really unhinged.
那看起来真的是精神错乱。
Every year, Mauricio cries, yells, and breaks a crucifix.
每年，毛里西奥都会哭泣、大喊，并打破十字架。
As I was trying to make sense of it, my neighbor, Sophia, who happened to be one of the youth leaders, walked to the center of the circle, microphone in hand, still crying.
当我试图理解这一点时，我的邻居索菲亚（Sophia），她恰好是青年领袖之一，走到圆圈中心，手里拿着麦克风，还在哭。
The other youth leaders took turns hugging her.
其他青年领袖轮流拥抱她。
Finally, she wiped away her tears.
最后，她擦干了眼泪。
Don't worry, you guys, she said.
别担心，你们，”她说。
She raised one of her arms up into the air, closed her eyes.
她将一只手臂举到空中，闭上眼睛。
Spanish gospel music began to crescendo in the background like a movie.
西班牙福音音乐开始像电影一样在背景中渐强。
I look over at the speaker to see a youth leader slowly turning up the volume knob.
我看向扬声器，看到一位青年领袖慢慢地调高了音量旋钮。
The rest of the youth leaders followed Sophia in closing their eyes, too.
其余青年领袖也跟着索菲亚闭上了眼睛。
Slowly, the crowd of retreat kids, still sitting on the floor, did the same.
慢慢地，一群仍然坐在地板上的静修孩子也做了同样的事情。
Sophia opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling.
索菲亚睁开眼睛，抬头看着天花板。
If we repent, He will forgive us.
如果我们悔改，他就会原谅我们。
I looked up, along with everyone else.
我和其他人一起抬起头。
Pressed against the ceiling, I could see soccer balls that had been kicked too high and gotten stuck.
贴在天花板上，我可以看到被踢得太高而被卡住的足球。
I glanced around the room and at Crystal, who was right next to me.
我环顾房间，看看就在我旁边的克里斯托。
She was completely moved, listening and crying, transfixed.
她完全被感动了，听着，哭着，呆住了。
Was this the moment?
这是现在吗？
Was this what they were talking about?
这就是他们所说的吗？
And was this what I came for?
这就是我来的目的吗？
On the walk home, I told my mom the whole story.
在回家的路上，我把整个故事告诉了妈妈。
She was surprised and thought the breaking of the crucifix was more disrespectful to God than the eating and talking during the reenactment.
她很惊讶，认为打碎耶稣受难像比重演时的吃饭和说话更不尊重上帝。
The part my dad couldn't get over, throwing away perfectly good food.
我父亲无法克服的部分是扔掉完美的食物。
He said that was a real sin, guilting kids into that.
他说那是真正的罪过，让孩子们感到内疚。
It didn't fully set in until that night, the lengths they had gone to, to play with our feelings.
直到那天晚上，他们才完全明白，他们为了玩弄我们的感情而竭尽全力。
That a grown man thought it would be appropriate to pretend to be angry, that the teen leaders chatted us up, try to be cool with us, only to throw it in our faces and use it against us.
一个成年人认为假装生气是合适的，青少年领袖与我们聊天，试图对我们保持冷静，结果却把它扔到我们脸上并用它来对付我们。
I wondered how many times they could have possibly done this and how many kids never learned that it was scripted, or I guess, eventually did, when they became the ones who tried to pull this on others.
我想知道他们可能做过多少次这样的事，有多少孩子从来没有意识到这是照本宣科的，或者我猜，当他们成为那些试图把这件事强加给别人的人时，他们最终还是意识到了。
I almost didn't go back the next day.
第二天我几乎没有回去。
But I, for real, did think, I might get my epiphany.
但我确实认为，我可能会顿悟。
I might get closer to God.
我可能会更接近上帝。
I just needed to trust it more.
我只是需要更加信任它。
And at the same time, a small part of me thought, this was just day two.
与此同时，我内心的一小部分人想，这只是第二天。
How far are they going to take this?
他们要走多远？
What other spectacles do they have planned?
他们还计划了什么其他奇观？
I didn't want to miss it.
我不想错过它。
I wasn't disappointed.
我并没有失望。
Day three was even weirder.
第三天就更奇怪了。
When we all arrived at the gym, there were these tall wooden crates in the middle.
当我们都到达体育馆时，中间有这些高高的木箱。
Behind them hung a large white tarp.
他们身后挂着一块巨大的白色防水布。
No one explained it to us.
没有人向我们解释这一点。
Instead, the youth leaders asked us about the times we felt like our parents misunderstood or neglected us.
相反，青年领袖问我们有哪些时候感觉父母误解或忽视了我们。
Lots of kids stood up, and it got very real.
很多孩子站了起来，这一切变得非常真实。
One girl talked about how much her mom expected her to take care of her siblings, like they were her kids.
一名女孩谈到她的妈妈多么希望她照顾她的兄弟姐妹，就像他们是她的孩子一样。
Someone shared that he was gay, and he knew his parents would never accept it.
有人透露他是同性恋，他知道他的父母永远不会接受。
It got to me.
我得到了。
It got to all of us.
它传到了我们所有人身上。
Then one youth leader pulled out a bucket of water balloons.
然后一位青年领袖拿出一桶水气球。
They're filled with paint, she said.
她说，它们充满了油漆。
Throw them at the crates.
将它们扔到板条箱上。
Let out your anger and frustration at your parents.
发泄对父母的愤怒和沮丧。
People hurled them, hard.
人们用力地扔它们。
Paint was everywhere.
油漆到处都是。
When they finished, the youth leaders went to the back of the crates and opened them up.
完成后，青年领袖走到板条箱后面打开它们。
Several parents stepped out, covered in paint.
几位家长走了出来，身上沾满了油漆。
No one saw this coming.
没有人预见到这一点。
See?
看？
See what anger toward your parents does?
看看你对父母的愤怒是什么？
This is what it does.
这就是它的作用。
Look at what y'all did.
看看你们都做了什么。
The room got quiet.
房间里安静了下来。
The parents looked somber.
父母脸色阴沉。
Some of them kept their heads down.
其中一些人低着头。
Their kids ran up to them, sobbed in their arms, and asked them for forgiveness.
他们的孩子跑到他们身边，在他们怀里哭泣，请求他们的原谅。
Leaders told other kids to join them, and they did.
领导们告诉其他孩子加入他们，他们也这么做了。
I just stood there.
我只是站在那里。
I looked at the crates.
我看着箱子。
And I could tell that the paint couldn't really seep through the small openings.
我可以看出油漆并不能真正从小开口中渗透出来。
They'd painted the parents before they even went inside.
他们甚至在进屋之前就给父母画了画。
It was like yesterday was just a warm-up.
就好像昨天只是一场热身。
There was a pattern, a formula they used.
他们使用了一种模式、一种公式。
They invited us to be ourselves again, but this time, more fully.
他们邀请我们再次做回我们自己，但这一次，更加充分。
People were being vulnerable, and they used it against them.
人们很脆弱，他们利用它来对付他们。
It felt cruel and dishonest and gross in a way I couldn't describe.
我无法形容这种感觉是残酷、不诚实和粗暴的。
Why did they set it up so that we'd end up feeling like we had to beg for forgiveness?
为什么他们要让我们觉得我们必须乞求宽恕？
It was like the only way they knew to bring us closer to God was to trick us.
就好像他们知道让我们更接近上帝的唯一方法就是欺骗我们。
A part of me was still waiting for my epiphany, but now I was sure they wouldn't get me there.
我的一部分仍在等待我的顿悟，但现在我确信他们不会让我到达那里。
I'd have to get there on my own.
我得自己去那儿。
Michelle Navarro is one of the producers of our show.
米歇尔·纳瓦罗是我们节目的制片人之一。
Credits Ira Glass Well, our program was produced today by Sean Cole.
图片来源：Ira Glass 好吧，我们今天的节目是由 Sean Cole 制作的。
The people who put together today's program include Jane Ackerman, Elna Baker, Chris Benderev, Zoe Chace, Michael Comite, Aviva DeKornfeld, Tobin Low, Miki Meek, Michelle Navarro, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Marisa Robertson-Textor, Alix Spiegel, Alissa Shipp, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, Julie Whitaker, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Jane Ackerman、Elna Baker、Chris Benderev、Zoe Chace、Michael Comite、Aviva DeKornfeld、Tobin Low、Miki Meek、Michelle Navarro、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Rae Mondo、Marisa Robertson-Textor、Alix Spiegel、Alissa Shipp、Lilly Sullivan、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney、Julie Whitaker 和 Diane吴。
Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑是萨拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sarah Abdurrahman)。
Our senior editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的高级编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks today to Eugene Mirman, Kyra Welker, Kathryn Styer Martinez, Bridie France, Edgar Stephen Curo, Rebecca O'Connor, Jenna Chandler Ward, Fernando Pimentel, Stephanie Jenkins, and Barbara Dawson, who, by the way, recorded all those news clips we used in the Leprechaun story on her VCR long ago.
今天特别感谢尤金·米尔曼、凯拉·韦尔克、凯瑟琳·斯蒂尔·马丁内斯、布里迪·弗朗斯、埃德加·斯蒂芬·库罗、丽贝卡·奥康纳、珍娜·钱德勒·沃德、费尔南多·皮门特尔、斯蒂芬妮·詹金斯和芭芭拉·道森，顺便说一句，他们很久以前就在她的录像机上录制了我们在妖精故事中使用的所有新闻剪辑。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can stream our archive of over 750 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费地观看我们的 750 多集档案。
Also, there's videos.
另外，还有视频。
There's lists of favorite shows.
有最喜欢的节目列表。
If you're looking for something to listen to, there's tons of other stuff there.
如果您正在寻找可听的内容，那里还有大量其他内容。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This is the last new program we are making with Ben Calhoun on our staff.
这是我们与本·卡尔霍恩一起制作的最后一个新节目。
Ben most recently did that two-episode story about a police officer and a KKK application in Muskegon earlier this year.
本最近在今年早些时候拍摄了关于一名警察和三K党在马斯基根的申请的两集故事。
But he also worked on our Harper High School show a few years ago, many political stories.
但几年前他也参与了我们的哈珀高中节目，很多政治故事。
He was a key player on that episode the won us the Pulitzer.
他是那一集的关键人物，为我们赢得了普利策奖。
And he did, I have to say, the world's most definitive journalistic treatment into whether pig bung is being passed off as fake calamari.
我不得不说，他对猪粪是否被冒充为假鱿鱼进行了世界上最明确的新闻处理。
Ben is a really good editor, which is rare, but good editors who are also great managers, like he is, even rarer.
Ben 是一位非常优秀的编辑，这很少见，但像他这样优秀的编辑同时也是伟大的管理者的更是罕见。
He's leaving to go run one of the most popular podcasts out there, The New York Times show, The Daily.
他将离开去运营最受欢迎的播客之一——《纽约时报》的节目《The Daily》。
They're lucky to get him.
他们很幸运能得到他。
We will miss him a lot.
我们会非常想念他。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
I had this cake in the office fridge.
我把这个蛋糕放在办公室冰箱里。
And this afternoon, I went to grab a slice-- gone.
今天下午，我去拿了一片——不见了。
Totally gone.
完全消失了。
Then I see Torey standing there with a couple of the producers, chocolate all over their faces, looking, I have to say, very guilty.
然后我看到托雷和几个制片人站在那里，脸上沾满了巧克力，我不得不说，他们看起来非常内疚。
Torey said to me--
托雷对我说——
We just got back from a birthday party.
我们刚从生日聚会回来。
We weren't even here.
我们甚至都不在这里。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。