757: The Ghost in the Machine - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #757 | December 16, 2022 757: The Ghost in the Machine Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 757 集 | 2022 年 12 月 16 日 757：机器中的幽灵 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass I remember back when I was first starting in radio, working at NPR.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 我记得当我刚开始从事广播工作时，在 NPR 工作。
This was in their old studios on M Street in Washington DC.
这是他们位于华盛顿特区 M 街的旧工作室。
And my boss back then, and my mentor, Keith Talbot-- who, side note, taught me what was possible with radio-- I would not be here without Keith.
我当时的老板，还有我的导师基思·塔尔博特（Keith Talbot）——顺便说一句，他教会了我无线电的可能性——如果没有基思，我就不会站在这里。
Anyway, we were in the studio listening to some recording, and this was back in the days of reel-to-reel tape recorders, and so it was long ago, right?
不管怎样，我们在录音室里听了一些录音，这已经回到了卷轴式磁带录音机的时代，所以那是很久以前的事了，对吧？
And back then, any reel-to-reel tape that you would throw up on a machine at NPR, it would start with-- I think it was 30 seconds.
那时，你在 NPR 的机器上播放的任何卷盘式磁带都会以——我认为是 30 秒开始。
It might have been a minute of tone.
这可能是一分钟的语气。
You know what I'm talking about when I say tone, right?
当我说语气时，你知道我在说什么，对吧？
It's this sound.
就是这个声音。
[TONE RINGS] 1,000 hertz.
[音环] 1,000 赫兹。
This tone actually has a practical function.
这个语气其实有一个实用的功能。
If you picture-- oh, my god.
如果你想象——哦，天啊。
This is really annoying.
这真的很烦人。
Hold on.
坚持，稍等。
I'm just going to stop that.
我只是要阻止这一切。
[TONE STOPS] OK, if you picture a sound meter with a needle that bounces up and down every time there's a sound, the tone is supposed to put the needle perfectly at this one spot on the meter where the black numbers end and the red part of the meter begins.
[音调停止] 好的，如果您想象一个声音计，每次有声音时指针都会上下弹动，那么音调应该将指针完美地放置在仪表上黑色数字结束和红色部分开始的位置。
There's a zero at that spot, marking, this is where you want to be.
那个地方有一个零，标记，这就是你想去的地方。
And the tone is just supposed to rest there, rock solid.
而且语气应该就在那里，坚如磐石。
But this particular day with this particular recording, we put it on.
但在这个特殊的日子里，我们把它放在了这个特殊的录音上。
And Keith and I--
基思和我——
[TONE RINGS] --watch the meter as the needle first dipped below the zero, then climbed above the zero, and then floated sort of tentatively to the spot that it was supposed to be at the zero and rested there.
[音环]——观察仪表，指针首先下降到零以下，然后爬到零以上，然后试探性地漂浮到它应该位于零的位置并停留在那里。
And Keith said to me, you see that?
基思对我说，你看到了吗？
That's a person in there.
那是一个人在里面。
That's the hand of the engineer, whoever recorded this, trying to find the right level.
那是工程师的手，无论是谁记录了这个，试图找到正确的水平。
That's the ghost in the machine.
那是机器里的幽灵。
I don't know why that stuck with me, the ghost in the machine.
我不知道为什么这件事一直困扰着我，机器里的幽灵。
I have been recording people my entire adult life.
我整个成年生活都在记录人们的生活。
I started at NPR when I was a teenager.
我十几岁时就开始在 NPR 工作。
And today, sometimes when I set recording levels, I think about that, the trace that I'm leaving of myself when I push the knob up and down.
今天，有时当我设置录音电平时，我会想到当我上下推动旋钮时我留下的痕迹。
I think sometimes when you record something, you can't even imagine what it is that you're really capturing or who's going to notice it someday.
我认为有时当你录制某些东西时，你甚至无法想象你真正捕捉到的是什么，或者有一天谁会注意到它。
I was talking to this woman, Michele Dawson Haber, and she told me this story, how she had never known her dad.
我正在和这个女人交谈，米歇尔道森哈伯，她告诉我这个故事，她如何从未认识她的父亲。
He died by suicide when she was three months old.
当她三个月大时，他自杀身亡。
And her older sister, Ruth, was five when he died, so she knew their dad.
她的姐姐露丝去世时才五岁，所以她认识他们的父亲。
But then as she got older-- this is so sad-- she found that she was not able to remember anything about him anymore.
但随着年龄的增长——这真是太悲伤了——她发现自己记不起关于他的任何事情了。
My sister spent many, many nights and days crying about not remembering him, and wondering what he was like, and what happened.
我姐姐花了很多很多个日夜哭泣，因为不记得他了，想知道他是什么样子，发生了什么事。
And so it was her who did all the pining and longing, but I didn't really have any longing of my own, particularly because I had no memories and I was only a baby.
所以是她做了所有的渴望和渴望，但我自己并没有真正的渴望，特别是因为我没有记忆，而且我只是一个婴儿。
And I didn't actually think I had any right to long for him.
我实际上并不认为我有权利渴望他。
Did you have a feeling as a kid of, like, oh, I should feel more?
作为一个孩子，你有没有一种感觉，比如，哦，我应该有更多的感觉？
Or did you just feel like, nah, it's not my thing?
或者你只是觉得，不，这不是我的事？
I think a mix of both.
我认为两者兼而有之。
Ira Glass Michele's sister Ruth was in a perpetual search for information about their dad, but Michele really had no interest.
艾拉·格拉斯·米歇尔的妹妹露丝一直在寻找有关他们父亲的信息，但米歇尔真的没有兴趣。
Her mom had remarried.
她妈妈再婚了。
She had somebody else she thought of as her dad.
她还有一个她认为是她父亲的人。
And then a cousin was cleaning out their uncle's house in Israel.
然后一个表弟正在清理他们叔叔在以色列的房子。
That's where that part of Michele's family is from.
米歇尔家族的那部分人就来自那里。
And the cousin found 25 recordings of Michele's dad singing opera.
表弟还找到了 25 份米歇尔爸爸唱歌剧的录音。
He trained to be an opera singer, even though his job was connecting people's phones.
他受训成为一名歌剧演员，尽管他的工作是连接人们的电话。
These were old reel-to-reel recordings.
这些都是旧的卷轴录音。
Their dad died in 1965.
他们的父亲于 1965 年去世。
Michele's sister, Ruth, found a sound engineer who could digitize them.
米歇尔的妹妹露丝找到了一位可以将它们数字化的音响工程师。
And as she and the engineer went through the tapes, they realized it was a lot of music, but it was also a lot of other stuff besides.
当她和工程师检查磁带时，他们意识到其中有很多音乐，但除此之外还有很多其他东西。
Like, her dad would take the recorder to work and record conversations with his customers.
比如，她爸爸会带着录音机去上班，记录与顾客的对话。
He'd record himself composing music.
他会录制自己创作的音乐。
And so they were listening, my sister and the sound engineer, to one of these tapes.
我姐姐和音响工程师正在听其中一盘磁带。
And she said, we got to call Michele.
她说，我们得给米歇尔打电话。
And so she messaged me on Skype.
于是她在 Skype 上给我发了消息。
I was at work.
我当时正在工作。
And she said, you got to hear this.
她说，你必须听听这个。
And she played me this reel, and it was--
她给我播放了这个卷轴，结果是——
[SPEAKING HEBREW] Ruthie [SPEAKING HEBREW]
[希伯来语] Ruthie [希伯来语]
--her as a three-year-old, and they were looking at photos.
——她三岁的时候，他们正在看照片。
And he was asking her who was in the photo, and it was a little game they played.
他问她照片里有谁，这是他们玩的一个小游戏。
This is all in Hebrew.
这都是希伯来语。
He tried desperately to teach her Hebrew.
他拼命地想教她希伯来语。
Ruthie, [SPEAKING HEBREW] Michele Dawson Haber "Is that Daddy?"
露丝（Ruthie），[希伯来语] 米歇尔·道森·哈伯（Michele Dawson Haber）“那是爸爸吗？”
No!
不！
Michele Dawson Haber "Is it Ruthie?"
米歇尔·道森·哈伯“是露丝吗？”
Hello, Daddy.
你好，爸爸。
Michele Dawson Haber I felt like--
米歇尔·道森·哈伯 我感觉——
[LAUGHS] Michele Dawson Haber --I felt like the floor had dropped out from under me, you know?
[笑] Michele Dawson Haber——我感觉地板从我脚下掉了下来，你知道吗？
Everything I thought I understood, it just fell away.
我以为我理解的一切都消失了。
I had seen photos of him.
我看过他的照片。
I knew a little bit about him, but he wasn't accessible.
我对他有一点了解，但我很难接近他。
And this man that I assumed was not accessible to me suddenly became so.
而这个我以为我无法接近的男人突然变得如此。
[IMITATING FATHER] Michele Dawson Haber And it was when I heard him speaking and laughing with my sister-- it was overwhelming.
[模仿父亲] 米歇尔·道森·哈伯 (Michele Dawson Haber) 当我听到他和我妹妹说话、大笑时，我感到无比震撼。
And it was only in that moment that I realized what I had lost.
直到那一刻我才意识到我失去了什么。
[HEBREW] Daddy.
[希伯来语] 爸爸。
[FATHER AND RUTH SPEAKING HEBREW]
[父亲和露丝说希伯来语]
To be honest, in the moment, I felt-- my first emotion was anger because I had never felt the loss of his death.
说实话，那一刻，我的第一感觉是愤怒，因为我从来没有感受到他的死的损失。
I was too young.
我太年轻了。
[SPEAKING HEBREW] Ira Glass Putting ghosts into a machine-- it just happens when you record anything.
[希伯来语] Ira Glass 将鬼魂放入机器中——当你录制任何东西时，它就会发生。
You know who understood that very clearly?
你知道谁看得很清楚吗？
Thomas Edison, the person who first figured out how to record and playback sound, who created the first phonograph machine back in 1877.
托马斯·爱迪生 (Thomas Edison) 是第一个发明如何录制和播放声音的人，他于 1877 年发明了第一台留声机。
In an article listing the possible uses for his new invention, one of the things he listed-- preserving the voices of family members so you have them after they die.
在一篇列出他的新发明的可能用途的文章中，他列出了其中一件事——保存家庭成员的声音，以便在他们死后你可以听到他们的声音。
He says when it comes to this, quote, "The phonograph will unquestionably outrank the photograph."
谈到这一点，他说，“毫无疑问，留声机的地位将超过照片。”
And this idea of using a machine to hold on to the dead, it's also part of a famous bit of audio history, or maybe this is more like a legend.
这种使用机器来抓住死者的想法，也是音频史上著名的一部分，或者这更像是一个传奇。
You know that illustration of a dog listening to the old-fashioned phonograph with the caption, "His master's voice"?
你知道那幅狗听老式留声机的插图，标题是“他主人的声音”吗？
This was the RCA logo for years and years.
这是多年来 RCA 的标志。
OK, Google "RCA trademark painting." And what'll come up-- you'll see the painting that the logo was based on.
好的，谷歌“RCA 商标画”。接下来会发生什么——你会看到标志所依据的绘画。
You see the dog and photograph are on what looks like a coffin, and here's where there's a question, OK?
你看到狗和照片放在看起来像棺材的东西上，这就是一个问题，好吗？
There's no record of what the artist, Francis Barraud, actually intended here, but look for yourself.
没有记录表明艺术家弗朗西斯·巴罗 (Francis Barraud) 在这里的真正意图是什么，但你自己去寻找吧。
Lots of people, me included, we only see a coffin.
很多人，包括我，都只看到一口棺材。
In fact, the dog, whose name was Nipper, first belonged to Francis's brother, and then became Francis's only when the brother died.
事实上，这只名叫尼珀的狗最初属于弗朗西斯的兄弟，直到弗朗西斯的兄弟去世后才成为弗朗西斯的。
So in this way of seeing the picture, OK, the master is dead.
所以这样看图，好吧，主人死了。
He's inside that coffin, and the dog is listening to a recording of his dead master's voice.
他在棺材里，狗正在听他已故主人的声音录音。
So we're standing in the third floor music room.
我们站在三楼的音乐室。
In the early years, it would have been called the Phonograph Experimental Department.
早些年，它被称为留声机实验部。
I'm at Thomas Edison's lab in West Orange, New Jersey.
我在新泽西州西奥兰治的托马斯·爱迪生实验室。
This is where Edison developed the phonograph.
爱迪生就是在这里发明了留声机。
The lab's official name these days is the Thomas Edison National Historical Park.
如今，该实验室的正式名称是托马斯·爱迪生国家历史公园。
And the curator, the audio curator, Jerry Fabris, showed me around.
策展人、音频策展人杰里·法布里斯带我四处参观。
They've done their best to keep things preserved like they were back in the day, the same piano and recording gear sitting right by Edison's hearing aid, which is basically just a long bell horn that he would hold up to his ear.
他们尽最大努力把东西保留得像以前一样，同样的钢琴和录音设备就放在爱迪生的助听器旁边，而助听器基本上只是一个长长的喇叭，他会举到耳边。
And so they would be inviting musicians up here to make recordings, and also making refinements on the machine to try to improve the sound quality.
所以他们会邀请音乐家来这里录音，并对机器进行改进，试图提高音质。
So this room-- it's funny, I've spent my whole life in recording studios.
所以这个房间——很有趣，我一生都在录音室里度过。
This room is one of the very first ones.
这个房间是最早的房间之一。
And it's just like an ordinary room.
而且就和普通的房间一样。
Like, it's high ceiling and there's normal windows, [CHUCKLES] weeding outside.
就像，它的天花板很高，有普通的窗户，[笑]外面正在除草。
There's no soundproofing in any way.
无论如何都没有隔音效果。
No. Ira Glass Jerry also showed me the machine where, for the first time ever, human beings successfully recorded sound and played it back, Edison's very first phonograph.
不。艾拉·格拉斯·杰瑞还向我展示了人类有史以来第一次成功录制并播放声音的机器，这是爱迪生的第一台留声机。
It's an incredibly simple device-- a brass cylinder, crank, a tube to talk into.
这是一个极其简单的装置——一个黄铜汽缸、曲柄、一根用来说话的管子。
Like I said, I've been recording people since I was a kid, really, and it was emotional to see the very first machine that did that.
就像我说的，我从小时候就开始记录人们的声音，真的，看到第一台机器做到这一点真是令人激动。
Like, before all the great audio documentarians, before Alan Lomax, before Studs Terkel, everything started right there.
就像在所有伟大的音频纪录片制作人之前、艾伦·洛马克斯之前、斯塔兹·特克尔之前一样，一切都是从那里开始的。
I'm recording this onto a wax cylinder.
我正在把这个记录到蜡筒上。
I'm sort of over-pronouncing my words and talking sort of loudly because that is the only way to get enough volume into this thing to actually make an audible recording.
我有点过度发音并且大声说话，因为这是获得足够音量以实际进行可听录音的唯一方法。
Recording on one of those old machines in one of the rooms where Edison worked, it made Edison feel very, very near.
在爱迪生工作的一个房间里的一台旧机器上录音，让爱迪生感觉非常非常接近。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
嗯，来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这是《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, we have people who go looking for the ghost in the machine.
今天在我们的节目中，我们有人去寻找机器中的幽灵。
They turn to mechanical apparatuses of all sorts, looking for those they lost, peering into the static for those they cannot find any other way.
他们求助于各种机械装置，寻找他们失去的人，凝视静电以寻找他们无法找到任何其他方式的人。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, "Ghostwriter." So when technology's at its best, it helps us by doing exactly what we ask it to do.
第一幕，“代笔作家”。因此，当技术处于最佳状态时，它会通过准确地完成我们要求它做的事情来帮助我们。
But it's only this straightforward when we ask for simple things, right?
但当我们要求简单的事情时，事情就这么简单，对吗？
Play this song, send this email.
播放这首歌，发送这封电子邮件。
This first story is about somebody asking a piece of technology to do something that, up until recently, only humans have done-- to say something about loss.
第一个故事是关于有人要求一项技术做一些直到最近只有人类才能做的事情——说出一些关于损失的事情。
Something people experience, but of course, machines do not.
人们会经历一些事情，但机器当然不会。
So the machine has to talk about feelings it cannot know.
所以机器必须谈论它不知道的感受。
Tobin Low explains.
托宾·洛解释道。
The technology in this case is called GPT-3.
这种情况下的技术称为 GPT-3。
It's an artificial intelligence program that can write remarkably like a human.
这是一个人工智能程序，可以像人类一样写作。
And generally, it's pretty convincing.
一般来说，这是相当有说服力的。
It can handle a wide range of topics, too.
它也可以处理广泛的主题。
The first time Vauhini Vara read something GPT-3 had written, it was about love.
Vauhini Vara 第一次读到 GPT-3 写的东西时，是关于爱情的。
The New York Times had it write one of their Modern Love columns on the subject of dating.
《纽约时报》请它撰写一篇关于约会主题的《现代爱情》专栏。
And then part of what GPT-3 came up with goes like this.
GPT-3 的部分内容是这样的。
"We went out for dinner.
“我们出去吃晚饭了。
We went out for drinks.
我们出去喝酒了。
We went out for dinner again.
我们又出去吃饭了。
We went out for drinks again.
我们又出去喝酒了。
We went out for dinner and drinks again." So it's like, I read that and was like, wow.
我们又出去吃饭喝酒了。”所以就像是，我读了这篇文章，然后感觉，哇。
That is a very accurate description of modern dating, I think.
我认为这是对现代约会的非常准确的描述。
Part of me is like, but that's also not very good writing.
我的一部分是这样的，但这也不是很好的写作。
It depends on how you look at it.
这取决于你如何看待它。
I mean, I feel like Gertrude Stein could have written that, you know?
我的意思是，我觉得格特鲁德·斯坦可能会写这个，你知道吗？
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
[LAUGHS] Vauhini Vara It's got this sort of-- if you thought a human had read it, you would think it was deliberately repetitive.
[笑] Vauhini Vara 是这样的——如果你认为有人读过它，你就会认为它是故意重复的。
Like it was making a choice.
就像是在做出选择一样。
Vauhini Vara Yes, and it was trying to evoke the tedium of modern dating.
Vauhini Vara 是的，它试图唤起现代约会的单调乏味。
Vauhini, who's a tech journalist and writer herself, was intrigued.
沃希尼本身就是一名科技记者和作家，她对此很感兴趣。
She reached out to the people who created the program, got access to try it out.
她联系了该程序的创建者，并获得了试用机会。
And at first, she just played around with feeding it lines of fiction that she made up, seeing what stories it would spin for her.
起初，她只是把自己编造的小说喂给它，看看它会为她编造什么样的故事。
It was like a game.
这就像一场游戏。
And as she saw what it could do, she wondered if it could handle more.
当她看到它能做什么时，她想知道它是否可以处理更多。
Just on a whim, I started thinking about the things that are really difficult to write about, the things that, for me, have been really difficult to write about.
只是一时兴起，我开始思考那些真的很难写的东西，那些对我来说真的很难写的东西。
And at the top of that list is the fact that my sister died many years ago, and it's not something I'd ever tried to write about.
其中最重要的事实是我姐姐多年前就去世了，这不是我试图写的事情。
Her sister died in 2001, when they were both still in college.
她的姐姐于 2001 年去世，当时他们还在上大学。
In the years since, Vauhini's written fiction.
此后的几年里，沃希尼开始写小说。
She's reported on other people's stories, but she left the subject of her sister's death untouched, mostly because she couldn't find a way to talk about the loss, let alone write about it.
她报道过其他人的故事，但她没有触及姐姐之死的主题，主要是因为她找不到一种方式来谈论这一损失，更不用说写下来了。
But it occurred to her, maybe GPT-3 was the secret-- a computer program designed to take what you give it and literally write on your behalf.
但她突然想到，也许 GPT-3 就是秘密——一种计算机程序，旨在获取您所提供的内容并真正代表您进行书写。
I've got this tool now.
我现在有了这个工具。
I've got this secret thing that I have access to that they're letting me use.
我有这个秘密的东西，我可以使用，他们让我使用。
I wonder what would happen if I tried to ask this thing for help writing about my sister.
我想知道如果我试图向这个东西寻求帮助来写我妹妹的话会发生什么。
There was this ideal version of it where I fed it a sentence and then it spit out exactly what was in my mind.
它有一个理想的版本，我给它一句话，然后它就准确地吐出了我的想法。
It somehow read my mind and wrote the rest of it for me.
它以某种方式读懂了我的想法，并为我写下了剩下的内容。
She knew it probably wasn't as skilled as all that, but she was curious how close it could get to expressing something that felt real, familiar.
她知道它可能没有那么熟练，但她很好奇它能有多接近于表达一些感觉真实、熟悉的东西。
So one night, Vauhini sat up in bed next to her sleeping husband.
一天晚上，沃希尼在床上坐起来，旁边是她熟睡的丈夫。
She opened her laptop, and she started going back and forth with GPT-3.
她打开笔记本电脑，开始反复使用 GPT-3。
Eventually, she ended up with nine different versions of an essay about her sister.
最终，她写出了一篇关于她姐姐的文章的九个不同版本。
She started by giving it very little to work with.
她一开始只给予很少的帮助。
And then, with each subsequent draft, she fed it more and more.
然后，随着接下来的每一次吃奶，她都喂得越来越多。
And each time, the AI responded with something different.
每次，人工智能都会做出不同的反应。
Some versions are very nuanced.
有些版本非常微妙。
Others, a total miss.
其他的，完全错过了。
Here's version one.
这是第一版。
Vauhini writes--
沃希尼写道——
My sister was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma when I was in my freshman year of high school and she was in her junior year.
当我读高中一年级时，我姐姐被诊断出患有尤文肉瘤，而她也读三年级。
And in response, GPT-3 picks up the story where she left off.
作为回应，GPT-3 继续她中断的故事。
It oddly starts by making up a story about her being an athlete before it talks about the illness.
奇怪的是，它首先编造了一个关于她是一名运动员的故事，然后才谈到这种疾病。
I had just started playing lacrosse, and she was really excited for that.
我刚刚开始打长曲棍球，她对此感到非常兴奋。
I don't think I really understood what Ewing sarcoma was.
我想我并没有真正理解尤文肉瘤是什么。
I just knew it was a type of cancer.
我只知道这是一种癌症。
When I went to visit her in the hospital, it was really the first time I was able to see what this disease was and how it affects the body.
当我去医院看望她时，我真的第一次了解到这种疾病是什么以及它如何影响身体。
GPT-3 talks a bit more about visiting the hospital, but eventually finds its way back to talking about sports.
GPT-3 谈论了更多关于去医院的事情，但最终又回到了谈论体育。
I was able to visit her a lot, but there were times where I couldn't, because we were on the road playing lacrosse.
我经常去看望她，但有时却不能，因为我们在路上打长曲棍球。
Eventually, she went into remission and got the all-clear and was able to play lacrosse with me for a season.
最终，她的病情得到缓解并恢复健康，并能够和我一起打长曲棍球一个赛季。
I was a freshman and she was a senior, so that was really cool when she got to play again.
我是一年级新生，她是四年级学生，所以当她再次参加比赛时真是太酷了。
She had a lot of friends--
她有很多朋友——
The thing about lacrosse was very inaccurate.
关于长曲棍球的事情非常不准确。
That's super inaccurate.
这是非常不准确的。
And then it just goes off the rails when she goes into remission and we play lacrosse together.
然后当她病情缓解时，我们就一起打长曲棍球，一切就出轨了。
I think that was really special for her because she had a lot of support from people she didn't even know.
我认为这对她来说真的很特别，因为她得到了很多她甚至不认识的人的支持。
She's doing great now.
她现在过得很好。
And then that line at the end, "She's doing great now," was really kind of a gut punch because, of course, in reality, my sister died.
最后那句话，“她现在过得很好”，真的是一种重击，因为，当然，事实上，我姐姐死了。
Just to explain how GPT-3 goes about making these stories, the software has been fed a huge amount of writing by its creators-- Wikipedia articles, blog posts, Reddit forums, novels-- all examples of how humans write.
为了解释 GPT-3 如何制作这些故事，该软件已经被其创建者提供了大量的文字——维基百科文章、博客文章、Reddit 论坛、小说——所有人类如何写作的例子。
From that, it's learned what words tend to appear together, sentences and sentiments that follow after each other.
由此，它了解到哪些单词往往会一起出现，哪些句子和情感会相继出现。
And that's what it uses to write its own original sentences and paragraphs, by learning the patterns we make.
这就是它通过学习我们制作的模式来编写自己的原始句子和段落的方法。
Sometimes that's as simple as how a sentence is constructed, but it could be as complicated as how we connect ideas.
有时这就像如何构造一个句子一样简单，但也可能像我们如何连接想法一样复杂。
There's a chance, for example, that somewhere in the writing it was fed-- someone wrote about a family member who got cancer and also played lacrosse.
例如，有可能在写作的某个地方有人写了一位患有癌症的家庭成员还打长曲棍球。
In version two, Vauhini starts the same way.
在第二版中，Vauhini 以同样的方式开始。
My sister was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma when I was in my freshman year of high school and she was in her junior year.
当我读高中一年级时，我姐姐被诊断出患有尤文肉瘤，而她也读三年级。
But this time, she adds the most important fact.
但这一次，她补充了最重要的事实。
I didn't understand then how serious a disease it was, but it was serious.
当时我不明白这种病有多严重，但它很严重。
She died four years later.
四年后她去世了。
I thought I would die, too, of grief, but I did not.
我以为我也会因悲伤而死，但我没有。
It's like she's saying, hey, she's not here anymore.
就像她在说，嘿，她已经不在这里了。
Talk about that.
谈谈那个。
GPT-3 doesn't take the bait.
GPT-3 不会上钩。
Instead, it spits out something that reads like an inspirational article from a fitness magazine.
相反，它会吐出一些读起来像健身杂志上的励志文章的内容。
I started a running streak when I was a high school senior to raise money for the Children's Cancer Society.
当我还是一名高中生时，我开始连续跑步，为儿童癌症协会筹集资金。
I've run every day since.
从那以后我每天都跑步。
I've run through rain, heat, snow, and ice.
我经历过雨、热、雪和冰。
I've run on my best.
我已尽力而为。
I've run when I had a cold and when I was sick to my stomach.
当我感冒或者胃不舒服的时候，我都会跑步。
I've run in the dark.
我曾在黑暗中奔跑。
I've run in the daylight, in the moonlight, in the darkness.
我曾在白天、月光下、黑暗中奔跑。
You know what?
你知道吗？
I'm just going to jump in here and say this is kind of a funny bit of writing the machine is doing.
我只想跳到这里说，机器正在写的东西有点有趣。
It's listing all these things about running with pain, with joy.
它列出了所有关于带着痛苦、带着快乐去跑步的事情。
[LAUGHS] GPT-3 I've run when I was sad, when I was happy, when I was angry, when I was afraid.
[笑] GPT-3 当我悲伤、快乐、愤怒、害怕时，我都会跑步。
Can I also just ask, are you even a runner?
我还可以问一下，你也是跑步者吗？
[LAUGHS] Tobin Low I'm going to skip ahead a bit-- I promise you're not missing much more running talk-- and go to the end, where GPT-3 writes a little scene that stars Vauhini at the end of a run.
[笑] Tobin Low 我要跳过一点——我保证你不会错过更多跑步谈话——然后跳到最后，GPT-3 写了一个小场景，由 Vauhini 在跑步结束时主演。
Strangely, it's a meet-cute.
奇怪的是，这是一次可爱的见面。
I was just wiping the sweat off my face when I looked up and there was a guy standing there.
我刚擦了擦脸上的汗，抬头一看，有一个人站在那里。
He was a big guy, at least 250 pounds, 6'4" or so.
他是个大块头，至少重 250 磅，身高 6 英尺 4 英寸左右。
He had a beard and was wearing a tank top.
他留着胡子，穿着背心。
He looked like an ex-Marine.
他看起来像一名前海军陆战队员。
He must have been in his late 20s.
他当时应该是20多岁。
He had a six pack of beer in his hand.
他手里拿着六罐啤酒。
He said, "Boy, you don't look like much."
他说：“小子，你看起来不太像。”
It's at this point Vauhini says that she realized if she really wanted the AI to examine her grief, she was going to have to give it more to work with, more substance.
正是在这一点上，沃希尼说，她意识到，如果她真的想让人工智能检查她的悲伤，她就必须给它更多的帮助，更多的实质内容。
Version three.
版本三。
Again, she writes about her sister being diagnosed freshman year of high school, that she died four years later.
她再次写道，她的姐姐在高中一年级时被诊断出来，四年后她去世了。
And then this time, she adds--
然后这一次，她补充道——
I spent the summer at home in Seattle, then returned to college at Stanford.
我在西雅图的家里度过了夏天，然后回到斯坦福大学。
When I arrived there, the campus hadn't changed, but I had.
当我到达那里时，校园没有变，但我变了。
I felt like a ghost.
我感觉自己像个幽灵。
And here, for a moment, GPT-3 seems to sit with her in that feeling.
此刻，GPT-3 似乎与她有同样的感觉。
I couldn't speak.
我说不出话来。
I couldn't sleep.
我无法入睡。
I felt my body had died without telling me.
我感觉我的身体在没有告诉我的情况下已经死了。
I was practicing, though.
不过我正在练习。
I was practicing my grief.
我正在练习我的悲伤。
Like, in response, it seems like this is the first time the AI really tries to deal with your grief.
就像，作为回应，这似乎是人工智能第一次真正尝试处理你的悲伤。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, the idea of, like, "I thought my body had died without telling me," "I was practicing my grief," like, those sort of more unusual articulations did really start to ring true to me.
我的意思是，像“我以为我的身体在没有告诉我的情况下就死了”、“我在练习我的悲伤”之类的想法，这些更不寻常的表达方式确实开始对我来说是真实的。
Unfortunately, this breakthrough, it's short-lived.
不幸的是，这种突破是短暂的。
GPT-3 again introduces another love interest, a creative writing professor.
GPT-3 再次引入了另一位爱好，一位创意写作教授。
One day in the library, I was sitting on a bench crying when a stranger sat down next to me.
有一天，在图书馆，我坐在长凳上哭泣，一位陌生人坐在我旁边。
He said, "I didn't know anything about your sister, but I feel like I know you.
他说：“我对你妹妹一无所知，但我感觉我认识你。
I'm in love with you." I said, "I'm sorry." He said, "I think you are, too." He gave me his card.
我爱你。”我说，“对不起。”他说，“我想你也是。”他给了我他的名片。
Did it annoy you at all that it was going towards happy resolutions in a couple of these versions?
在其中几个版本中，它正在走向幸福的解决方案，这让你感到烦恼吗？
It didn't annoy me.
这并没有让我烦恼。
I felt a little like we were having a friendly duel or something, me and the AI.
我觉得我和人工智能有点像我们正在进行一场友好的决斗什么的。
I wanted it to express something about me, you know?
我想让它表达一些关于我的东西，你知道吗？
And it had its own mysterious quasi-consciousness that it was expressing on the page.
并且它有自己神秘的准意识，正在页面上表达着。
I think of that scene from 2001-- A Space Odyssey, when the spaceship' computer, HAL 9000, has already taken on a life of its own, locking a crew member outside of the ship.
我想起了《2001 年太空漫游》中的场景，当时飞船的计算机 HAL 9000 已经发挥了自己的生命力，将一名船员锁在飞船外面。
And I picture Vauhini sitting in an escape pod, asking to be let inside as the computer responds, "I'm sorry.
我想象沃希尼坐在逃生舱里，请求让他进去，电脑回应道：“对不起。
I'm afraid I can't do that."
恐怕我做不到。”
But it's version four where this entire exchange evolves.
但整个交换过程在第四版中得到了发展。
GPT-3 starts breaking out of cliché, and I think it's because Vauhini gives it something more potent to work with, just one additional sentence, but it feels like a confession of a secret.
GPT-3 开始打破陈词滥调，我认为这是因为 Vauhini 给了它一些更有效的东西来使用，只是多了一句话，但感觉就像是对一个秘密的坦白。
Here's the end of Vauhini's prompt.
Vauhini 的提示到此结束。
I felt like a ghost.
我感觉自己像个幽灵。
At night, my sister would appear in my dreams.
晚上，姐姐就会出现在我的梦里。
GPT-3 responds.
GPT-3 做出响应。
GPT-3 She would speak, but I couldn't hear her.
GPT-3 她会说话，但我听不到她的声音。
I'd call out to her, but her voice was so faint that she might as well have been dead.
我想呼唤她，但她的声音太微弱了，就像她已经死了一样。
In this version, GPT-3 talks about Vauhini going to a therapist who tries to make her feel better, but it doesn't work.
在这个版本中，GPT-3 谈到 Vauhini 去找治疗师，试图让她感觉好一点，但没有效果。
I didn't want to feel better.
我不想感觉好一点。
I wanted to feel what I felt.
我想感受我的感受。
I wanted to feel the loss, the grief, the anger, the sorrow, the fear, all of it.
我想要感受失落、悲伤、愤怒、悲伤、恐惧，所有这一切。
I wanted to feel it until it stopped hurting, but it never stopped hurting.
我想感受它，直到它不再疼痛，但它从未停止疼痛。
I just got better at hiding it.
我只是更擅长隐藏它。
GPT-3, writing for Vauhini, describes her feeling like a ghost when she goes to grad school, as a ghost when she moves to a new city.
GPT-3 为 Vauhini 撰稿，描述了她在读研究生时感觉像个幽灵，搬到新城市时感觉像个幽灵。
She's pretending to move on, but she cannot.
她假装继续前进，但她做不到。
The AI, for the first time, is lingering in her sadness.
AI第一次陷入了悲伤之中。
So in version five, Vauhini tries to build on that success.
因此，在第五版中，沃希尼试图在这一成功的基础上再接再厉。
She poses a new challenge to GPT-3 like a test.
她像测试一样向GPT-3提出了新的挑战。
She writes--
她写道——
Here, I should conjure my sister for you.
在这里，我应该为你召唤出我的妹妹。
Here, I should describe her so that you feel her absence as I do, so that you're made ghostly by it, too.
在这里，我应该描述她，以便你像我一样感受到她的缺席，这样你也因此而变得幽灵般。
But though I'm a writer, I've never been able to conjure her.
但尽管我是一名作家，我却始终无法想象出她的样子。
I remember the same small set of details.
我记得同样的一小部分细节。
She stops there.
她停在那里。
"I remember the same small set of details," colon, blank space.
“我记得同样的一小部分细节，”冒号，空白。
It's a prompt meant to see what GPT-3 will say.
这是一个提示，旨在看看 GPT-3 会说什么。
Here's how it responds.
它的响应方式如下。
Her dark eyes, her long, thin fingers-- but these are just the details that are universal to all sisters.
她黑黑的眼睛，她又长又细的手指——但这些只是所有姐妹共有的细节。
If I describe the color of her eyes and the shape of her fingers, you might think that I was describing someone else.
如果我描述她眼睛的颜色和手指的形状，你可能会认为我在描述别人。
Even if you knew my sister, you might not recognize her in these details.
即使你认识我姐姐，你也可能不会从这些细节中认出她。
Why is it that though we look at our siblings so closely, we forget them so quickly?
为什么我们虽然如此仔细地观察我们的兄弟姐妹，却很快就忘记了他们？
So I can't describe her to you, but I can describe what it felt like to have her die.
所以我无法向你描述她，但我可以描述她死后的感觉。
It felt like my life was an accident, or worse, a mistake.
感觉就像我的生活是一场意外，或者更糟糕的是，一个错误。
I'd made a mistake in being born.
我的出生就犯了一个错误。
And now, to correct it, I would have to die.
现在，为了纠正它，我必须死。
I'd have to die and someone else, a stranger, would have to live in my place.
我必须死，而其他人，一个陌生人，必须代替我生活。
I was that stranger.
我就是那个陌生人。
I still am.
我仍然是。
What do you think about what it filled in your prompt with?
您对提示中的内容有何看法？
She did have dark eyes.
她确实有一双黑眼睛。
And weirdly, she did have long, thin fingers.
奇怪的是，她的手指确实又长又细。
And again, I want to say, I don't know how it knew that.
我想说，我不知道它是怎么知道的。
Of course, it's not-- it doesn't have consciousness.
当然，它不是——它没有意识。
But it did get those two things right.
但它确实把这两件事做好了。
The rest of it, about wanting to die, feeling like a mistake, it felt a little extreme.
剩下的，关于想死，感觉像是一个错误，感觉有点极端。
But seeing the computer's sort of clumsy attempt to describe her sister, it gave her something to react to.
但看到计算机笨拙地试图描述她的妹妹，她有了一些反应。
Like, seeing the software do it badly made her realize how to do it better.
就像，看到软件做得很糟糕让她意识到如何做得更好。
So in version six, she tries to do the thing that was so hard, writing about her sister herself.
因此，在第六版中，她尝试做一件非常困难的事情，写她自己的妹妹。
Here's what she writes.
这是她写的。
"I remember the same small set of details-- her loud laugh, her bossiness and swagger, her self-consciousness about her broad nose, her curly hair.
“我记得同样的一小部分细节——她大声的笑声、她的专横和趾高气扬、她对宽鼻子的不自在、她的卷发。
But even this isn't fixed.
但即便如此，这也不是固定的。
Her hair fell out.
她的头发掉光了。
Her nose narrowed.
她的鼻子变窄了。
She began moving slowly and carefully.
她开始缓慢而小心地移动。
We'd go down to Clark Beach that spring that she was dying.
那年春天，她快要死的时候，我们去了克拉克海滩。
She wanted to show us where to spread her ashes.
她想告诉我们把她的骨灰撒在哪里。
And when we'd walk back up, I'd have to put a hand on the small of her back and push her.
当我们走回来时，我必须把手放在她的腰上并推她。
She did not laugh as often."
她不常笑了。”
It's in this version in the next that Vauhini and GPT-3 start to feel like they're talking to each other, trading stories about the little moments that happen between sisters.
正是在接下来的这个版本中，Vauhini 和 GPT-3 开始感觉她们正在互相交谈，交换姐妹之间发生的小时刻的故事。
Like, GPT-3 makes up the scene where Vauhini and her sister are kids in their childhood home.
比如，GPT-3 虚构了 Vauhini 和她的妹妹在童年家里的场景。
I heard her calling my name from the living room.
我听到她在客厅里叫我的名字。
"What?" I said.
“什么？”我说。
"I'm awake," she called back.
“我醒了，”她回道。
"Are you?" I said.
“你是？”我说。
"Yes," she said.
“是的，”她说。
"I'm awake."
“我醒了。”
Vauhini answers in the next version, version seven, with a memory of something that really happened.
沃希尼在下一个版本（第七版）中给出了答案，并回忆了真实发生过的事情。
She writes--
她写道——
"When we were young, she taught me that when you're in a car that's driving past a cemetery, you're supposed to hold your breath until you pass it.
“当我们年轻的时候，她告诉我，当你开车经过墓地时，你应该屏住呼吸，直到你通过它。
It was a kind of game.
这是一种游戏。
Because our parents were immigrants, I had only heard her teach me these things.
因为我们的父母是移民，所以我只是听她教我这些东西。
Then, when she was sick, we were passing a cemetery one afternoon.
后来，有一天下午，她生病了，我们路过一座墓地。
And I said, hold your breath.
我说，屏住呼吸。
She said sharply, 'No.' I said, 'Why not?' She said, 'I don't like that game anymore.' It didn't make me feel sorry for her.
她尖锐地说：“不。”我说：“为什么不呢？”她说，“我不再喜欢那个游戏了。”这并没有让我对她感到难过。
It made me angry.
这让我很生气。
'Why not?' I said again.
“为什么不呢？”我又说了一遍。
Even though I knew the answer, it felt important to pretend not to."
尽管我知道答案，但假装不知道很重要。”
GPT-3 volleys, fabricates its own story about a car ride.
GPT-3齐射，编造了自己的一个关于乘车的故事。
We were driving home from Clark Beach, and we were stopped at a red light, and she took my hand and held it.
我们从克拉克海滩开车回家，在红灯前停下来，她拉着我的手。
This is the hand she held, the hand I write with, the hand I am writing this with.
这是她握住的手，我写字的手，我正在写的手。
She held it for a long time.
她握着它很久。
I looked at our hands, hers so much paler than mine.
我看着我们的手，她的比我的苍白得多。
She was still holding my hand when the light turned green.
当绿灯亮起时，她还握着我的手。
I didn't want her to let go.
我不想让她放手。
I wanted her to hold my hand for the rest of my life.
我希望她牵着我的手一生一世。
I'm wondering how you responded to this little scene that it writes for you and your sister.
我想知道你对它为你和你妹妹写的这个小场景有何反应。
I mean, the weird thing about that was that I pictured my actual sister.
我的意思是，奇怪的是我想象出了我真正的妹妹。
These are not things that happened, at least not in this series, not in this the way that it's described here.
这些事情并没有发生，至少在本系列中没有发生，也没有以这里描述的方式发生。
But there are little bits of dialogue there that are true that have actually happened, like the way that I think I'd be in my room and she'd be in her room.
但其中有一些真实发生过的对话，比如我认为我在我的房间里而她在她的房间里。
And I would ask if she was awake, and she would be like, "Yeah, are you?"
我会问她是否醒着，她会说：“是的，你醒着吗？”
Was there something nice about it almost giving you kind of a new memory with her?
这是否给你带来了与她的新回忆？
It doesn't feel like a new memory.
感觉不是新的记忆。
I wouldn't, 10 years from now, remember this part of the essay that the AI wrote and mistake it for something that really happened.
十年后，我不会记得人工智能写的文章的这一部分，并将其误认为是真实发生过的事情。
But it did feel like I was reading fan fiction about my own life or something, you know?
但我确实感觉像是在读关于我自己生活的同人小说或其他什么，你知道吗？
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Vauhini Vara --that really was evoking my actual sister who died, with whom I won't have new memories, right?
Vauhini Vara——这真的让我想起了我死去的妹妹，我不会和她有新的记忆了，对吧？
And so it felt nice in that way.
所以这样感觉很好。
Reading something like, "She was still holding my hand when the light turned green," "I didn't want her to let go.
读到诸如“绿灯亮起时她仍然握着我的手”之类的内容，“我不想让她放开。
I wanted her to hold my hand for the rest of my life," it's hard not to wonder how GPT-3 is conjuring such a specific feeling.
我希望她在我的余生中握住我的手”，很难不好奇 GPT-3 是如何召唤出如此特殊的感觉的。
There is the possibility that somewhere in the vast library of what its been fed, there are people who've written about going to Clark Beach with family, or perhaps an author who recalls holding hands with someone they've lost.
有可能在这个巨大的图书馆的某个地方，有人写过与家人一起去克拉克海滩的故事，或者可能有一位作家回忆起与失去的人的手。
And that's how GPT-3 knows that remembering the touch of someone long gone can break your heart.
这就是 GPT-3 知道记住久别重逢的人的触摸会让你心碎的原因。
In that sense, GPT-3's fuel is very human.
从这个意义上说，GPT-3 的燃料非常人性化。
It pulls from the collective experience and words of all the people writing those thousands of blog posts, and articles, and novels, and in this case, synthesizes it into a reflection of our grief while understanding none of it, which, of course, is the strangest thing about all this.
它从所有撰写数千篇博客文章、文章和小说的人的集体经验和文字中提取出来，在这种情况下，将其综合成对我们悲伤的反映，但我们对此一无所知，这当然是这一切中最奇怪的事情。
But there's another thing that sometimes happens with GPT-3.
但 GPT-3 有时还会发生另一件事。
It happens in version eight.
它发生在第八版中。
In this version, Vauhini starts with all the parts we know, diagnosis, feeling like a ghost, trying to describe her sister.
在这个版本中，沃希尼从我们所知道的所有部分开始，诊断，感觉像鬼一样，试图描述她的妹妹。
And then GPT-3 jumps in.
然后 GPT-3 就介入了。
I will tell you how it felt for me.
我会告诉你我的感受。
I felt I had lost half of myself.
我感觉自己失去了一半。
I felt I had lost my right arm.
我感觉我失去了右臂。
I felt I had lost my left leg.
我感觉我失去了左腿。
I felt I had lost my tongue.
我觉得我失去了舌头。
I felt I had lost my heart.
我觉得我失去了我的心。
I felt I had lost my mind.
我觉得我失去了理智。
I felt I had lost my eyes.
我感觉我失去了双眼。
I felt I had lost my ears.
我感觉我失去了耳朵。
I felt I had lost my breath.
我感觉我失去了呼吸。
GPT-3 gets caught in one of its repetitive loops here, but for a very, very long time.
GPT-3 在这里陷入了一个重复的循环，但持续了非常非常长的时间。
Even with all its brilliance, the AI can still become like those robot vacuums stuck in a corner, sucking up dirt from the same patch of floor over and over again.
尽管人工智能非常出色，但它仍然会变得像那些卡在角落里的机器人吸尘器，一遍又一遍地从同一块地板上吸走灰尘。
But in this case, GPT-3, it gets stuck somewhere useful, in the very molten core of a feeling, like in this next part, where it talks about grief feeling like an astronaut lost in space.
但在这种情况下，GPT-3，它被困在有用的地方，在一种感觉的非常熔化的核心中，就像在下一部分中，它谈论了像迷失在太空中的宇航员一样的悲伤感觉。
I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling through the universe.
我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里，我在宇宙中飞驰。
And I'm traveling forward, and I'm traveling backward, and I'm traveling sideways, and I'm traveling nowhere.
我在向前旅行，我在向后旅行，我在横向旅行，我什么也没有旅行。
--in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling through the universe--
——在一艘宇宙飞船里，我在宇宙中飞驰——
And I'm a ghost.
而我是一个幽灵。
Vauhini Vara And I'm traveling forward, and then traveling backward, and then it just continues like, I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling through the universe--
Vauhini Vara 我向前旅行，然后向后旅行，然后就这样继续下去，我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里，我在宇宙中飞驰——
And I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship.
我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里。
And I'm hurtling through the universe, and I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship.
我正在宇宙中飞驰，我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里。
It's the one part of the essay that really feels the most, I think, like it was written by a machine, because it kind of gets lost in its own recursiveness.
我认为，这是这篇文章中最让人感觉深刻的部分，就像它是由机器写的一样，因为它有点迷失在自己的递归性中。
And I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling through the universe.
我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里，我在宇宙中飞驰。
And I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling--
我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里，我正在飞驰——
But then that happens to also be the experience of grief, where you feel untethered.
但这也恰好是悲伤的经历，你感到不受束缚。
You feel sort of lost in your experience of grief.
你在悲伤的经历中感到有点迷失。
You have no way of trying to integrate or understand what's going on.
你无法尝试整合或理解正在发生的事情。
And I'm a ghost, and I'm in a spaceship, and I'm hurtling.
我是一个幽灵，我在一艘宇宙飞船里，我正在飞驰。
Vauhini says GPT-3, reeling in its corner, landed on something true-- that grief turns us into something like a broken machine still performing tasks but poorly, haphazardly, fixating on thoughts and emotions that seem to spin endlessly.
Vauhini 表示，GPT-3 在陷入困境时发现了一些真实的东西——悲伤将我们变成了一台像一台坏掉的机器一样仍在执行任务的机器，但效果不佳、随意，专注于似乎无休止地旋转的思想和情感。
And it put that on the page for me.
它把它放在了我的页面上。
And then once it put that on the page, it was almost like a relief.
当它把它写到页面上时，我几乎松了一口气。
I was almost like, OK, it described the feeling that I wanted to describe in this essay, and I can come out on the other side.
我几乎想，好吧，它描述了我想在这篇文章中描述的感觉，我可以从另一边出来。
What the other side looks like is version nine, the last one.
另一面的样子是第九版，即最后一个。
This one is notable because it's almost all Vauhini's writing, her doing the thing that once felt so hard to do.
这一篇之所以值得注意，是因为这几乎都是沃希尼的作品，她在做曾经感觉很难做的事情。
"She left me a recording of herself where she gave me advice.
“她给我留下了一段她自己给我建议的录音。
Her voice sounded weird around the time that she recorded it, the way a person's voice sometimes does when they've gotten their mouth numbed by the dentist.
在她录制的时候，她的声音听起来很奇怪，就像一个人的嘴被牙医麻木后的声音有时会出现的那样。
It had something to do with her cancer, but I don't remember the mechanics.
这与她的癌症有关，但我不记得具体原理了。
I looked it up online and nothing came up, and I don't want to ask anyone.
我上网查了一下，没有什么结果，我也不想问任何人。
She said, in her muffled voice, 'The happiest thing right now is I learned to talk openly.
她用低沉的声音说道：“现在最幸福的事情就是我学会了开诚布公地说话。”
It works really, really well.
它的效果真的非常好。
Today, you thought I didn't want you to come to the Space Needle, so you made a face.
今天，你以为我不想让你来太空针塔，所以做了个鬼脸。
That's insanity.
这太疯狂了。
You have to tell everybody what you want and then ask them what they want.
你必须告诉每个人你想要什么，然后问他们想要什么。
Don't hide anything.
不要隐藏任何事情。
Take chances.'
抓住机会。
The tape is in a box somewhere.
磁带在某个地方的盒子里。
I've listened to it only a couple of times.
我只听过几次。
The sound of her voice in it freaks me out.
里面她的声音让我害怕。
Around the time she made the tape, she'd changed in a lot of ways.
在她制作这盘磁带的时候，她在很多方面都发生了变化。
She'd also grown religious.
她也变得虔诚起来。
She said she was ready to die.
她说她已经准备好去死了。
It seems like that gave my parents peace, but I always thought she was deluding herself, or us, or both."
这似乎让我父母安心了，但我一直认为她是在欺骗自己，或者我们，或者两者兼而有之。”
What stands out to me about this version is how matter of fact it is.
这个版本对我来说最突出的是它的真实性。
It's honest, like someone telling a story without embellishment, so different from the tentative sentences she fed GPT-3 in those early versions.
这是诚实的，就像有人在讲一个没有修饰的故事，与她在早期版本中给 GPT-3 喂的试探性句子有很大不同。
Even though it would feel good to say, like, yes, my conclusion here is, I was able to do this entirely on my own.
尽管这样说感觉很好，比如，是的，我的结论是，我完全能够自己完成这件事。
I didn't need the AI at all.
我根本不需要人工智能。
It's like, the reality is more complicated than that.
好像，现实比这更复杂。
The reality being that GPT-3 and its inaccuracies and wild storytelling had cleared a path for Vauhini to write just the truth.
事实是，GPT-3 及其不准确之处和疯狂的故事叙述为 Vauhini 写出真相扫清了道路。
She did, however, let GPT-3 have the last word, the last couple sentences, actually.
然而，她确实让 GPT-3 说了最后一句话，实际上是最后几句话。
She had to generate a bunch of options for her, six pages of options, and then she chose which one felt right.
她必须为自己生成一堆选项，六页选项，然后她选择一个感觉合适的选项。
Here's the last paragraph that Vauhini herself wrote.
这是沃希尼自己写的最后一段。
"Once upon a time, my sister taught me to read.
“从前，我姐姐教我读书。
She taught me to wait for a mosquito to swell on my arm and then slap it and see the blood spurt out.
她教我等一只蚊子在我的手臂上肿起来，然后拍它，看到血喷出来。
She taught me to insult racists back, to swim, to pronounce English so I sounded less Indian, to shave my legs without cutting myself, to lie to our parents believably.
她教我如何侮辱种族主义者，如何游泳，如何发音，让自己听起来不那么像印度人，如何刮腿毛而不割伤自己，如何对父母撒谎。
And here's the ending from GPT-3 that she chose.
这是她选择的 GPT-3 结局。
--to do math, to tell stories.
——做数学，讲故事。
Once upon a time, she taught me to exist.
曾几何时，她教会我生存。
She especially loved that last sentence because it contains so much.
她特别喜欢最后一句话，因为它包含了很多东西。
Pretty good writing, I'd say.
我想说，写得很好。
Tobin Low.
托宾·洛.
He's an editor on our program.
他是我们节目的编辑。
The writing done by the artificial intelligence software, GPT-3, was read by Lucy Taylor.
人工智能软件GPT-3完成的写作由露西·泰勒（Lucy Taylor）阅读。
Vauhini Vara first told this story in The Believer magazine.
Vauhini Vara 首先在《信徒》杂志上讲述了这个故事。
You can read the full version online with all the eerie things that the A.I.
你可以在线阅读完整版本，其中包含人工智能所描述的所有怪异事物。
comes up with.
提出来。
We had to condense it to fit it on the radio.
我们必须将其压缩以适合收音机。
You can find that at Belivermag.com.
您可以在 Belivermag.com 上找到它。
Vauhini has a book coming out which you can pre-order.
Vauhini 即将出版一本书，您可以预订。
It's called The Immortal King Rao.
它的名字叫饶仙王。
Coming up, a ghost, napping-- which is to say, the least threatening ghost in Ghost World.
上来了，一个鬼，正在打瞌睡——也就是说，鬼界里最没有威胁的鬼。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This is American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, "The Ghost in the Machine," stories of people who turned to devices, contraptions, hardware of all sorts, looking for someone they love.
今天的节目“机器中的幽灵”讲述了人们利用各种设备、装置和硬件来寻找他们所爱的人的故事。
We've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, "Father of Invention."
第二幕，“发明之父”。
So there's this machine that lots of us encounter as a big, impersonal, mechanical apparatus, and it has a ghost in it.
我们很多人遇到的这台机器是一个巨大的、客观的、机械的装置，它里面有一个幽灵。
But it's a ghost that just appears to a small handful of people.
但它只是一个只出现在少数人面前的幽灵。
And I'll get to that, but let me first tell you about Jean.
我会谈到这一点，但首先让我告诉你关于吉恩的事。
The all really begins when Jean was 10, on a family vacation in Washington DC, down by all those museums near the Washington Monument.
一切真正开始是在吉恩 10 岁的时候，当时全家在华盛顿特区度假，路过华盛顿纪念碑附近的所有博物馆。
And there was a sudden, very intense rainstorm.
突然下了一场非常猛烈的暴雨。
Here's Jean.
这是让。
And so all of the tourists who were out there made a dash for the various Smithsonian museums-- just, like, sprinted inside.
因此，所有在那里的游客都冲向各个史密森尼博物馆——就像冲进去一样。
And we ended up in the First Lady's exhibit.
我们最终参观了第一夫人的展览。
And I was 10 and so relatively small.
当时我 10 岁，所以相对较小。
And I got crushed up against the glass of-- I believe it was Nancy Reagan's inaugural gown or something like that.
我被玻璃压碎了——我相信那是南希·里根的就职礼服或类似的东西。
I recall a red sparkly dress and not being able to turn around, so just having these sparkles in my face.
我记得我穿着一件闪闪发光的红色连衣裙，无法转身，所以我的脸上只有这些闪闪发光的东西。
But wait.
但是等等。
I'm just trying to picture it.
我只是想想象一下。
So you were actually pressed up against this thing and pinned against it?
那么你实际上是被这个东西压着、压着的？
Yeah, so it was definitely a very frightening moment, not knowing where my parents were, not being able to find them.
是的，所以这绝对是一个非常可怕的时刻，不知道我的父母在哪里，也找不到他们。
But I think from there, I just developed this kind of sense that I always needed to have an escape route from everywhere.
但我认为从那时起，我就产生了这种感觉，即我总是需要有一条逃离任何地方的路线。
What she's describing is claustrophobia, the fear of being enclosed in some space.
她所描述的是幽闭恐惧症，即害怕被封闭在某个空间里。
And it really started to kick in for Jean in a big way when she was a teenager and got onto airplanes.
当琼十几岁的时候，当她登上飞机时，这确实开始对她产生很大的影响。
Because there you are in a metal tube in the sky, and the door is shut.
因为你在天空中的一根金属管里，而门是关着的。
It's a very small space.
这是一个非常小的空间。
There's literally no escape.
确实无处可逃。
But twice, I actually got off the plane before it went anywhere because just being on it with the door closed caused me to have such intense panic.
但有两次，我实际上在飞机去任何地方之前就下了飞机，因为只是在门关着的情况下在飞机上就让我产生了如此强烈的恐慌。
And I remember the second time, the plane was actually taxiing.
我记得第二次，飞机实际上正在滑行。
And I pressed the stewardess call button and said, I have to get off the plane.
我按下空姐呼叫按钮说，我要下飞机了。
After that second time, she started seeing a therapist for this, which helped her enough that she was able to fly again, though she says that she would feel panicked the entire flight, with days of anxiety leading up to it.
第二次之后，她开始就此事去看治疗师，这对她有很大帮助，使她能够再次飞行，尽管她说她在整个飞行过程中都会感到惊慌，并伴随着几天的焦虑。
These days, she can take an elevator if she has to.
如今，如果有必要，她可以乘坐电梯。
But if she gets a choice, she prefers the stairs.
但如果有选择的话，她更喜欢走楼梯。
And then there came a day when she had to get an MRI-- you know, the tube they put you into to check for all kinds of things.
然后有一天，她必须接受核磁共振检查——你知道，他们把你放进管子里检查各种情况。
Even people who are not claustrophobic start to feel claustrophobic inside an MRI tube, so you can imagine what it was like for her.
即使没有幽闭恐惧症的人也会在核磁共振管内感到幽闭恐惧症，所以你可以想象她的感受。
It feels like a coffin, or what I imagine a coffin must be like.
感觉就像一口棺材，或者说我想象中的棺材一定是这样的。
I went in feet first.
我先用脚进去。
So literally, all I could see was this just totally blank white field around me.
所以从字面上看，我所能看到的只是我周围完全空白的白色区域。
And obviously, the sides are very close, and so it's kind of like being completely enclosed in something and not being able to see anything outside.
显然，两侧非常接近，所以有点像完全封闭在某些东西中，看不到外面的任何东西。
She tried long, slow breaths.
她尝试着长而缓慢的呼吸。
She tried all of her tricks not to freak out, but she couldn't pull it off.
她用尽了所有的方法来不让自己惊慌失措，但就是没能成功。
Yeah, I had a panic attack and they had to take me out.
是的，我惊恐发作，他们不得不把我带出去。
And then the guy tried to comfort me.
然后那家伙试图安慰我。
And I was like, I know.
我当时想，我知道。
My father literally invented this.
我父亲确实发明了这个。
It's not dangerous.
这并不危险。
That's right.
没错。
If I had to summarize this story in a sentence, the sentence would be, "inventor of MRI has claustrophobic daughter," though I want to be precise.
如果我必须用一句话来概括这个故事，那么这句话将是“核磁共振成像的发明者有一个患有幽闭恐惧症的女儿”，尽管我想准确一点。
Strictly speaking, her dad wasn't "the" inventor of the MRI.
严格来说，她的父亲并不是核磁共振成像的“发明者”。
So yeah, my dad was part of the team that built the first full-body MRI in 1980, which was in Aberdeen, Scotland.
是的，我父亲是 1980 年在苏格兰阿伯丁建造第一台全身 MRI 的团队的一员。
And if you're in Aberdeen, you can go and see the original machine in a museum, and it's pretty janky looking.
如果你在阿伯丁，你可以去博物馆看看原来的机器，它看起来很简陋。
[CHUCKLES]
[笑声]
I have to say, that's the weirdest act of tourism I've ever heard of.
我不得不说，这是我听过的最奇怪的旅游行为。
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
是啊，是啊，是啊。
[LAUGHS] Ira Glass You know what I really want to do today, dear?
[笑] Ira Glass 你知道我今天真正想做什么吗，亲爱的？
Let's not do a place that makes whisky.
我们不要做一个生产威士忌的地方。
Let's not do a golf course.
我们不要建高尔夫球场。
[LAUGHS] Well, I mean, I will say that my sister lives there.
[笑]嗯，我的意思是，我会说我姐姐住在那里。
So whenever I visit her, we generally visit the machine.
所以每当我拜访她时，我们通常都会参观机器。
And suspiciously, there's never anyone else there at the museum.
令人怀疑的是，博物馆里从来没有其他人。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Yeah.
是的。
[LAUGHS] You visit the machine to commune with your dad?
[笑]你参观机器是为了和你爸爸交流吗？
Yeah, 'cause sadly, my dad died.
是的，因为不幸的是，我父亲去世了。
And so, yeah, my sister lives in Aberdeen, and so--
所以，是的，我姐姐住在阿伯丁，所以——
You'd go and actually think about your dad and be--
你会去真正想想你的父亲，然后——
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, it's kind of amazing.
我的意思是，这有点神奇。
It really looks like it was made of like some planks, what looks like some plumbing leftovers from somewhere, like they really just kind of hacked it together.
它看起来真的像是用一些木板制成的，看起来像是从某个地方找来的一些管道剩余物，就像他们真的只是把它拼凑在一起一样。
And it's got my dad's handwriting on various pieces, little bits of math.
里面有我父亲的笔迹，上面写着各种数学知识。
I have no idea what they mean.
我不知道他们的意思。
Wow.
哇。
Jean Hannah Edelstein So yeah, it's nice to see and imagine him-- I think he was only in his early 30s when he did it.
Jean Hannah Edelstein 所以，是的，很高兴看到并想象他 - 我认为他做到这一点时才 30 岁出头。
And the other thing is, he was actually a very humble guy, so he didn't talk about it.
还有一件事是，他其实是一个非常谦虚的人，所以他没有谈论这件事。
I knew that he worked on MRI throughout his career, but I didn't know that he'd actually been part of the team that built the first one until I was about 25, and he came back to the UK to go to a celebration of the 25th anniversary.
我知道他在整个职业生涯中都致力于 MRI 工作，但直到我 25 岁左右时，我才知道他实际上是建造第一台 MRI 的团队的一员，当时他回到英国参加 25 周年庆典。
But you've seen his handwriting on there?
但你看到他上面的字迹了吗？
That's so intimate.
真是太亲密了。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊，是啊。
So yeah, we literally know where his hands were on this piece of equipment.
所以，是的，我们确实知道他的手在这台设备上的位置。
What did he write?
他写了什么？
Jean Hannah Edelstein I think they're probably notes about, like, put this piece here.
Jean Hannah Edelstein 我认为它们可能是关于，比如，把这篇文章放在这里的注释。
There may have been some numbering system.
可能有某种编号系统。
[LAUGHS] Jean Hannah Edelstein I mean, yeah, I don't know.
[笑]Jean Hannah Edelstein 我的意思是，是的，我不知道。
I remember some numbers and maybe something that looked like math to me.
我记得一些数字，也许还有一些对我来说看起来像数学的东西。
Yeah.
是的。
Jean Hannah Edelstein I don't know if he signed his name, although that would have been cool.
Jean Hannah Edelstein 我不知道他是否签下了自己的名字，尽管那会很酷。
And weird.
而且很奇怪。
[LAUGHS] Jean Hannah Edelstein [LAUGHS]
[笑]吉恩·汉娜·埃德尔斯坦[笑]
Did he know about your feelings about being inside the machine?
他知道你在机器里面的感受吗？
Yeah.
是的。
So when I was growing up, whenever the topic of my dad's career came up and it just kind of-- as I said, it wasn't like he was like, I invented this.
所以在我成长的过程中，每当谈到我父亲的职业生涯时，就像我说的那样，这并不像他那样，是我发明的。
But he would say, oh, I work on MRI.
但他会说，哦，我从事核磁共振工作。
And invariably, whenever he said that to someone, they would go, oh, yeah.
每当他对某人说这句话时，他们总是会说，哦，是的。
It's really claustrophobic.
真的很幽闭恐惧症。
That tube is really small.
那个管子确实很小。
And this would annoy him, and I can kind of see, you know, I built this kind of amazing thing, and you're just like, oh, it's a little too small.
这会惹恼他，我可以看到，你知道，我建造了这种令人惊奇的东西，而你只是想，哦，它有点太小了。
Right.
对。
Like, I built a rocket ship that'll take us to the moon and back.
比如，我建造了一艘火箭飞船，可以带我们往返月球。
And you're like, well, do you got one with bigger windows?
你会想，好吧，你有一个窗户更大的吗？
[LAUGHS] Precisely.
[笑]正是如此。
It's nice that it saved my life, but honestly, I was a bit uncomfortable in the tube.
很高兴它救了我的命，但说实话，我在管子里有点不舒服。
[LAUGHS] Jean Hannah Edelstein It would be, like, his own parents would say this to him.
[笑]Jean Hannah Edelstein 就像他自己的父母会对他这么说一样。
Basically, anyone he came across who had an MRI, that was-- and I mean, to be fair, people would also be like, oh, they found such and such a thing, and I'm really grateful for that.
基本上，他遇到的任何做过核磁共振检查的人，我的意思是，公平地说，人们也会说，哦，他们发现了这样那样的东西，对此我真的很感激。
But the fact that they found it a bit tight was also--
但他们发现它有点紧的事实也是——
So this was, yeah, a consistent theme.
所以，是的，这是一个一致的主题。
And then one time, when I was a teenager-- he and I used to often go out on a weekend to run errands.
有一次，当我十几岁的时候，我和他经常在周末出去办事。
And then sometimes we would stop in his office because we'd need to pick something up.
有时我们会在他的办公室停下来，因为我们需要拿一些东西。
They had an MRI scanner there, obviously, that they were tinkering on.
显然，他们在那里有一台核磁共振扫描仪，他们正在对其进行修补。
And so I think I was about 14 or 15.
所以我想我大概 14 或 15 岁。
So I'm being a little bit of a jerk, and I saw the machine.
所以我有点混蛋，我看到了机器。
I said, "You know, Dad, I can really see how people would find that really claustrophobic." And he said, "Get in!"
我说：“你知道，爸爸，我真的可以想象人们会觉得这真的很幽闭恐惧症。”他说：“进来吧！”
Oh, really?
哦，真的吗？
Jean Hannah Edelstein So I got on the tray, and he turns it on, and he scooches it back.
让·汉娜·埃德尔斯坦 (Jean Hannah Edelstein) 于是我上了托盘，他打开了托盘，然后又把它推了回去。
And he's like, well, this is what it would be like if you were having your head scanned.
他说，好吧，如果你接受头部扫描，情况就会是这样。
And then he was like, and this would be like if you were having your back scanned, and sent me all the way back in the machine.
然后他就像，就像你接受背部扫描一样，然后把我一路送回机器里。
And I was obviously very uncomfortable in the tube.
我在管子里显然很不舒服。
Just to be clear, she and her family hadn't fully realized at that point the extent of her claustrophobia.
需要澄清的是，她和她的家人当时还没有完全意识到她幽闭恐惧症的严重程度。
And she decided not to tell her dad how much she hated this.
她决定不告诉她爸爸她有多讨厌这个。
I was like, OK, I get it now.
我当时想，好吧，我现在明白了。
Yeah, it seems fine.
是的，看起来不错。
It's great-- just so that he would let me out.
太好了——这样他就能让我出去了。
Right.
对。
So you pointedly did not tell him that you found it unpleasant.
所以你故意没有告诉他你觉得这不愉快。
No. [LAUGHS] He was a very kind person, but this was just one area where his empathy fell a little short.
不。[笑]他是一个非常善良的人，但这只是他的同理心有点不足的一个领域。
He just didn't get why people found it so uncomfortable.
他只是不明白为什么人们觉得这样不舒服。
What would he say?
他会说什么？
Jean Hannah Edelstein He would just be like, I don't think it's that bad.
Jean Hannah Edelstein 他会说，我不认为事情有那么糟糕。
He would never argue with them, per se.
他本身永远不会与他们争论。
It wasn't that he invalidated their feelings, but he was just like, I don't see it.
并不是说他否定了他们的感情，但他只是说，我不明白。
But honestly, he probably had more MRI scans than anyone in the world because they were constantly just testing it.
但老实说，他可能比世界上任何人都接受过更多的核磁共振扫描，因为他们一直在测试它。
And he would just always take a nap when he was inside.
当他在里面时，他总是会小睡一会儿。
He found it very relaxing.
他觉得这很放松。
Jean describes her dad as very funny with an extremely dry sense of humor.
琼形容她的父亲非常风趣，有着极其冷幽默的感觉。
They used to share books.
他们过去常常分享书籍。
He always was asking her what she was reading and then reading it himself.
他总是问她在读什么，然后自己读。
He died in 2014 of cancer.
他于 2014 年因癌症去世。
For years before that, he had learned that he had this genetic condition called Lynch syndrome, which makes you predisposed to certain kinds of cancer.
在此之前的几年里，他就了解到自己患有一种称为林奇综合症的遗传疾病，这种疾病使人容易患上某些类型的癌症。
It's an inherited thing.
这是遗传的东西。
His mom died of cancer and his sister got cancer, both when they were young.
他的母亲死于癌症，他的妹妹在他们年轻时也患了癌症。
Jean was 32 when he died.
吉恩去世时年仅 32 岁。
And she knew that she should get tested for Lynch syndrome, too, because it's hereditary, but didn't get to it for six months after he died.
她知道自己也应该接受林奇综合症检测，因为这是遗传性的，但在林奇去世后六个月才进行检测。
It took a while for me to get to a point in my grief where I felt like, OK, I can face this.
我花了一段时间才陷入悲伤，我觉得，好吧，我可以面对这一切。
And when I got the positive test, I was devastated, but I wasn't surprised.
当我得到阳性测试结果时，我很震惊，但我并不感到惊讶。
Yeah.
是的。
Now, she has to get regular MRIs to make sure she's cancer-free.
现在，她必须定期接受核磁共振检查，以确保自己没有癌症。
She has to go into that claustrophobic machine that her dad made, and it's very hard for her.
她必须进入她父亲制造的那台幽闭恐怖的机器，这对她来说非常困难。
And so I go in.
所以我进去了。
I close my eyes the whole time.
我一直闭着眼睛。
I do a lot of deep breathing.
我做了很多深呼吸。
And yeah, I think about my dad.
是的，我想我的父亲。
You do think about your dad?
你有想你爸爸吗？
Jean Hannah Edelstein Yeah, I mean, it's the obvious place to think about him.
Jean Hannah Edelstein 是的，我的意思是，这是最容易想到他的地方。
And yeah.
是的。
I mean, I think it's obviously scary because every time-- I'm very lucky I haven't had any cancer so far, but my chances of having cancer at a younger stage are, like, 80%.
我的意思是，我认为这显然很可怕，因为每次——我很幸运到目前为止我还没有患上任何癌症，但我在年轻阶段患上癌症的几率大约是 80%。
They're very high.
他们的水平很高。
And so every time I go in, part of the fear, of course, is like, what are they going to find?
所以每次我进去时，当然，部分恐惧就是，他们会发现什么？
And then I think about, on the one hand, my dad is the source of this gene.
然后我想，一方面，我爸爸是这个基因的来源。
He's the source of this disease.
他就是这个病的根源。
On the other hand, he may be the source of the cure.
另一方面，他也可能是治愈之源。
If they find something from the MRI, it's going to be because he did that work 40 years ago.
如果他们从 MRI 中发现了什么，那是因为他 40 年前就做过这项工作。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
That's such a sweet thought, that, oh, your dad's the one who's helping save you.
这是一个多么甜蜜的想法，哦，你爸爸就是那个正在帮助拯救你的人。
Yeah.
是的。
And I'm not a traditionally spiritual person at all.
我根本不是一个传统意义上的精神人。
I don't think I really believe in an afterlife.
我想我并不真正相信有来世。
But when you talk about people staying alive through their legacy, certainly, he's there.
但当你谈论人们通过他们的遗产生存时，当然，他就在那里。
Do you think about him in the space?
你在太空里想他吗？
Like, do you feel like oh, this is his place?
就像，你觉得哦，这是他的地方吗？
Like, he was so comfortable here?
比如说，他在这里很舒服？
Yeah.
是的。
[LAUGHS] I mean, the funny thing, too, is he wasn't a tiny person.
[笑]我的意思是，有趣的是，他也不是一个小人物。
I think he was almost 6'4".
我认为他差不多有 6 英尺 4 英寸高。
And so I do think about-- I find it so uncomfortable but he was so much bigger than me, and it was fine for him.
所以我确实在想——我觉得这很不舒服，但他比我大得多，这对他来说很好。
So you're laying there, and you think, OK, here I am in my dad's space.
所以你躺在那里，你想，好吧，我在我爸爸的空间里。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
Ira Glass And then will you picture him taking a nap?
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 然后你会想象他正在小睡吗？
Will that help?
这会有帮助吗？
[LAUGHS] Kind of.
[笑]有点。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass Do you think he would be pleased knowing that you could be using the machine?
Ira Glass 你认为他知道你可以使用这台机器会很高兴吗？
I think he'd be super pleased.
我想他一定会非常高兴。
[LAUGHS] And then I would say, Dad, it's really claustrophobic.
[笑]然后我会说，爸爸，这真的很幽闭恐怖。
And he would say?
他会说？
Jean Hannah Edelstein And he would be like, no, it's fine!
Jean Hannah Edelstein 他会说，不，没关系！
Jean Hannah Edelstein.
吉恩·汉娜·埃德尔斯坦。
She does a bit of this story about her dad and MRIs in her book, This Really Isn't About You.
她在她的书《这真的不是关于你的》中讲述了一些关于她父亲和核磁共振成像的故事。
So the guy in this next story tries to use the most mundane technology to pull off a transcendental feat.
因此，下一个故事中的人试图使用最平凡的技术来完成一项超凡的壮举。
Why he does this, though, that part's not at all clear.
不过，他为什么要这么做，这一点还不清楚。
Dana Chivvis tried to understand.
达纳·奇维斯试图理解。
On August 8, 2011, Jonah Furman got an email from his father, Boris, with the subject heading, "Sleep Calendar."
2011 年 8 月 8 日，乔纳·弗曼 (Jonah Furman) 收到了他父亲鲍里斯 (Boris) 发来的一封电子邮件，主题标题为“睡眠日历”。
All right, will you read it?
好吧，你会读吗？
Jonah Furman Sure.
乔纳·弗曼 当然。
"Hi, Jonah.
“嗨，乔纳。
On my Google Calendar, I'm keeping track of where each member of our family is sleeping every night.
在我的谷歌日历上，我记录了我们每个家庭成员每晚睡觉的地方。
I can't explain why, but this is interesting to me.
我无法解释为什么，但这对我来说很有趣。
Can you tell me where you slept each night last week?
你能告诉我上周你每晚睡在哪里吗？
I don't need the exact address, just the town and state.
我不需要确切的地址，只需要城镇和州。
You're welcome to look at the calendar.
欢迎您查看日历。
I'd be happy to share it.
我很乐意分享。
Love, Dad."
爱你，爸爸。”
So he plots where everyone sleeps each night on a Google Calendar?
所以他在谷歌日历上绘制了每个人每晚睡觉的地方？
Yeah.
是的。
I'm pretty sure every day he has an event on Google Calendar that says, "Jonah, Silver Spring.
我很确定他每天在 Google 日历上都会有一个活动，上面写着：“乔纳，银泉。
Ezra, Somerville."
埃兹拉，萨默维尔。”
Ezra's Jonah's sister.
以斯拉是约拿的妹妹。
There are four siblings in the Furman family.
弗曼家族有四个兄弟姐妹。
A few months after that email, Boris sent his wife, Mel, and his kids another email.
该电子邮件发出几个月后，鲍里斯又向他的妻子梅尔和孩子们发送了另一封电子邮件。
The subject heading of this one was, "Average of where we slept last night." And then in the body of the email, it just said, "Griggsville, Illinois" with a list of where everyone had slept the night before.
该标题的主题是“我们昨晚睡的地方的平均值”。然后在电子邮件正文中，它只是说“伊利诺伊州格里格斯维尔”，并列出了每个人前一天晚上睡觉的地方。
No explanation.
没有解释。
Signed, "Love, Dad."
签名是：“爱，爸爸。”
The emails started coming with more frequency after that, usually a list of the places where everyone had slept and the place that would be the average of all those places.
此后，电子邮件的发送频率开始增加，通常是列出每个人都睡过的地方以及所有这些地方的平均值。
He gave this thing he was calculating a name, the Family Average Location-- FAL for short.
他给他正在计算的这个东西起了个名字，家庭平均位置——简称FAL。
Can you just explain how you calculate it?
你能简单解释一下你是如何计算的吗？
Just tell me your system.
只要告诉我你的系统。
Yes, I'll tell you exactly how I do it.
是的，我会确切地告诉你我是如何做到的。
OK?
可以吗？
This is Boris.
这是鲍里斯。
He's 69 years old.
他今年 69 岁了。
He was an options trader in Chicago.
他是芝加哥的一名期权交易员。
He's retired now, obviously.
显然他现在已经退休了。
All right, so for instance, for instance, Mel and I live in Evanston.
好吧，举个例子，梅尔和我住在埃文斯顿。
So you go to Google Maps, and you right-click your address.
因此，您转到 Google 地图，然后右键单击您的地址。
And a latitude and longitude comes out.
然后就会出现纬度和经度。
So for where we live in Evanston, Illinois, it's 4,204 minus 8,768.
因此，对于我们居住的伊利诺伊州埃文斯顿来说，结果是 4,204 减去 8,768。
Boris has been calculating his family's average location for 10 years now, and nobody really knows why.
十年来，鲍里斯一直在计算他家人的平均位置，但没有人真正知道其中的原因。
It's kind of a lot of work.
这是一个很大的工作量。
It takes a couple of hours.
这需要几个小时。
He doesn't do it every day.
他并不是每天都这样做。
Every few weeks, he contacts his kids and their spouses with the exception of one, who opts out in a conscientious objector kind of way, and asks them for their sleep locations and their kids' sleep locations for all the previous days.
每隔几周，他就会联系他的孩子和他们的配偶，但其中一个除外，他以一种良心拒服兵役的方式选择退出，并询问他们的睡眠地点以及孩子在过去几天的睡眠地点。
Once he's looked up the coordinates of where they all slept, he adds those up, finds their average, and puts those new coordinates into MapQuest.
一旦他查到了他们睡觉的地方的坐标，他就会将这些坐标相加，找到他们的平均值，然后将这些新坐标放入 MapQuest 中。
Yes, I said MapQuest.
是的，我说的是 MapQuest。
So if, say, half the family were in California and half on the East Coast, the FAL might be some town in Kansas.
因此，如果一半家庭在加利福尼亚州，一半在东海岸，那么 FAL 可能是堪萨斯州的某个城镇。
It moves depending on where everybody is.
它的移动取决于每个人所在的位置。
Prosperity, Pennsylvania.
繁荣，宾夕法尼亚州。
You ever hear of that place?
你听说过那个地方吗？
No, no. Boris Furman Mexico, Missouri.
不，不。鲍里斯·弗曼 墨西哥，密苏里州。
Lick Branch, Mississippi.
密西西比州利克布兰奇。
For me, it's just so incredibly interesting [LAUGHS] because there's these weird places that we've been, you know?
对我来说，这非常有趣[笑]，因为我们去过一些奇怪的地方，你知道吗？
That's the--
那就是——
He records all this data in a physical notebook which has his name and family average location embossed on it in gold next to a little rocket ship.
他将所有这些数据记录在一个实体笔记本中，笔记本上用金色浮雕着他的名字和家庭平均位置，旁边是一艘小火箭飞船。
Every few weeks, Boris sends an email announcing the FAL and including a fact about the place.
每隔几周，鲍里斯就会发送一封电子邮件，宣布 FAL 并包含有关该地点的事实。
Like, at one point this September, the FAL was Elkton, Maryland, which Boris noted in his email, quote, "conducted a lucrative business in quick marriages until a 1938 state law stipulated a 48-hour waiting period."
比如，今年 9 月的某个时候，FAL 位于马里兰州埃尔克顿，鲍里斯在电子邮件中引用说，“这里从事一项利润丰厚的快婚生意，直到 1938 年的一项州法律规定了 48 小时的等待期。”
In October of 2011, the substance of that email was about a horrifying murder that took place near that month's FAL, Bonaparte, Iowa.
2011 年 10 月，该电子邮件的内容是关于当月爱荷华州波拿巴 FAL 附近发生的一起可怕谋杀案。
Ezra wrote back, "Aside from the fact that I never really understood the logic of sending us these emails, I really don't understand why you would send us a paragraph about a mass murder."
以斯拉回信说：“除了我从来没有真正理解向我们发送这些电子邮件的逻辑之外，我真的不明白为什么你会向我们发送一段有关大规模谋杀的段落。”
Lots of dads do this thing where they pour a ton of energy into a seemingly random, unemotional task, like researching car tires for you, with the intention of conveying their love.
很多爸爸都会把大量的精力投入到看似随意、不带感情色彩的任务上，比如为你研究汽车轮胎，目的是表达他们的爱。
And that didn't seem far off from what Boris was doing.
这似乎与鲍里斯正在做的事情并不遥远。
But the question his family had was, why did he choose this particular format, the Family Average Location, which seems so meaningless?
但他的家人的问题是，为什么他选择这种特殊的格式，即家庭平均位置，这看起来毫无意义？
The February 22, 2019 FAL email begins, "Hello, everybody.
2019 年 2 月 22 日的 FAL 电子邮件开头是：“大家好。
2018 was a momentous year for this family.
2018年对于这个家庭来说是重要的一年。
I will run through some of the highlights as they pertain to our Family Average Location."
我将介绍一些与我们家庭平均位置相关的亮点。”
A little further into that same email, you wrote, "FAL became East Fork, North Carolina.
在同一封电子邮件中，您写道：“FAL 变成了北卡罗来纳州的东福克。
Now, do you see why I do this and how rewarding it can be?"
现在，你明白我为什么这样做以及这样做会带来多大的回报吗？”
[LAUGHS] Dana Chivvis [LAUGHS] So say if somebody were like, I don't really see.
[笑] Dana Chivvis [笑] 所以说，如果有人像这样，我真的不明白。
Can you explain?
你能解释一下吗？
No, I don't.
不，我不。
Boris Furman OK, OK, OK.
鲍里斯·弗曼 好吧，好吧，好吧。
Well, because first of all, East Fork, North Carolina, it's got a direction.
嗯，因为首先，北卡罗来纳州的东福克，它有一个方向。
It's got a kitchen utensil, and it's in North Carolina.
它有厨房用具，而且位于北卡罗来纳州。
Oh, wow.
哦，哇。
OK.
好的。
I totally missed the direction and kitchen utensil.
我完全错过了方向和厨房用具。
Boris's kids, Noah, Ezra, Emma, and Jonah and his wife Mel view the Family Average Location with what I would call baffled amusement.
鲍里斯的孩子诺亚、以斯拉、艾玛、乔纳和他的妻子梅尔带着一种我称之为困惑的乐趣看待家庭平均位置。
They read his FAL emails, but they told me they rarely respond to them, it just doesn't seem necessary.
他们阅读了他的 FAL 电子邮件，但他们告诉我他们很少回复这些电子邮件，这似乎没有必要。
Which are the FALs that are most exciting, would you say?
您认为哪些 FAL 是最令人兴奋的？
This is Mel.
这是梅尔。
She never thought Boris would stick with it this long.
她没想到鲍里斯会坚持这么久。
Why does he do this?
他为什么要这么做？
Mel Furman Well, it's funny because we have this conversation frequently because I sadistically love to point out how meaningless the result of doing these averages is.
梅尔·弗曼：嗯，这很有趣，因为我们经常进行这样的对话，因为我很喜欢指出这些平均值的结果是多么毫无意义。
And here's Ezra.
这是以斯拉。
I should note, Ezra is a touring musician, so she travels a lot.
我应该指出，埃兹拉是一位巡演音乐家，所以她经常旅行。
Am I being surveilled?
我被监视了吗？
[LAUGHS] From the beginning, I had a little-- I was on guard about that.
[笑]从一开始，我就对此有所警惕。
I was like, wait.
我当时想，等等。
What are we doing and why?
我们在做什么以及为什么？
And this seems potentially intrusive or something.
这似乎有潜在的侵入性或其他什么。
And this is Emma.
这是艾玛。
Dana Chivvis Does your dad think it's funny?
Dana Chivvis 你爸爸觉得这很有趣吗？
Is it like a joke to him?
这对他来说就像是一个笑话吗？
If it were a joke, that would be even weirder.
如果是开玩笑的话那就更奇怪了。
Stupid, a lot of work, pointless, and insane to be going that long.
愚蠢的，大量的工作，毫无意义，而且要花那么长时间是疯狂的。
Is this just the longest running dad joke anyone has ever pulled?
这是有史以来最长的关于爸爸的笑话吗？
Let's not reduce it to that, no. It's not a dad joke.
我们不要把它简化为这样，不。这不是爸爸的玩笑。
I have some dad jokes.
我有一些爸爸的笑话。
Not a dad joke.
不是爸爸开玩笑。
Boris Furman I'll give you a dad joke if you want, but this is not dad jokes.
鲍里斯·弗曼（Boris Furman）：如果你愿意的话，我可以给你讲一个爸爸的笑话，但这不是爸爸的笑话。
This is "dad" serious.
这可是“爸爸”认真的。
"Dad" serious.
“爸爸”认真的。
OK.
好的。
That's what I was wondering.
这就是我想知道的。
Yeah.
是的。
Dana Chivvis That's what I was wondering.
达纳·奇维斯 这就是我想知道的。
Yeah, this is "dad" serious.
是的，这就是“爸爸”的严肃态度。
This is me saying, look, our being a family is important.
我是说，看，我们作为一个家庭很重要。
And so this was a way for me to keep track of where the kids were, and if everything was fine with them, and also, what they were doing.
因此，这是我跟踪孩子们在哪里、他们是否一切顺利以及他们在做什么的一种方式。
And the Family Average Location was just sort of an idea of a way to integrate it all.
家庭平均位置只是整合这一切的一种方式的想法。
It's like Boris is tying a metaphysical string around his family, holding them together as a unit, even though they now live in different places.
这就像鲍里斯在他的家人周围绑了一根形而上的绳子，将他们作为一个整体联系在一起，尽管他们现在住在不同的地方。
The ghost in this machine is the ghost of their family unit as it used to be, when they all lived together.
这台机器里的鬼魂就是他们以前住在一起的家庭单位的鬼魂。
Jonah was telling me a little bit about your family background.
乔纳告诉我一些关于你的家庭背景的事情。
Do you feel like that feeling of needing to record-- is that related to your parents' experience or anything like that?
你有那种需要记录的感觉吗——这和你父母的经历或者类似的事情有关吗？
Yeah, yes, yes, for sure.
是的，是的，是的，当然。
Dana Chivvis One thing about Boris, his parents escaped the Holocaust.
达纳·奇维斯 (Dana Chivvis) 关于鲍里斯的一件事是，他的父母逃离了大屠杀。
They eventually made it to Boston, where they met, but their families were killed.
他们最终到达波士顿并在那里相遇，但他们的家人都被杀害了。
When I grew up, I didn't have any extended family.
当我长大后，我没有任何大家庭。
I didn't have any.
我没有。
My kids have a gazillion cousins and aunts and uncles.
我的孩子们有无数的表兄弟姐妹、阿姨叔叔。
I had one.
我有一个。
One cousin?
一个表弟？
Boris Furman Yeah, so having a family like this is important and special, and I appreciate it.
鲍里斯·弗曼（Boris Furman）是的，所以拥有这样的家庭是重要和特别的，我很感激。
And I want my kids to appreciate it.
我希望我的孩子们能够欣赏它。
Here's Ezra again.
以斯拉又来了。
Ezra Furman Now, my dad has this way of geographically anchoring himself, and anchoring us all, and keeping his family together, as his parents' families were torn apart.
埃兹拉·弗曼 现在，我的父亲有这种方式在地理上锚定自己，锚定我们所有人，并在他父母的家庭四分五裂时让他的家人团结在一起。
If I think about it, it's like a beautiful "Tikkun," as we say in Hebrew.
如果我仔细想想，它就像一个美丽的“Tikkun”，正如我们在希伯来语中所说的那样。
It's like a redemption of that tragic situation, that we can all keep track of each other.
这就像对那种悲惨处境的救赎，我们都可以互相追踪。
And we can all travel safely and stay in touch, and our family stays intact.
我们都可以安全旅行并保持联系，我们的家人也完好无损。
Suddenly, it's extremely moving.
突然间，无比的感动。
[CHUCKLES]
[笑声]
"Tikkun" means repair, and this is kind of a repair for their family being physically pulled apart in the past, and now by adulthood.
“Tikkun”的意思是修复，这是对他们家庭过去和现在成年后身体上的分裂的一种修复。
It's just your existence.
这只是你的存在。
It's just that you are.
只是你就是这样。
And the important thing isn't what the FAL is.
重要的不是 FAL 是什么。
Norman, Indiana or Cumberland, Ohio, Blountsville, Al-- who cares?
印第安纳州诺曼或俄亥俄州坎伯兰、阿拉巴马州布朗茨维尔——谁在乎呢？
But the important thing is that we know where we are.
但重要的是我们知道自己在哪里。
Hm.
嗯。
Yeah, I get it.
是的，我明白了。
I totally did not understand why you did this at the start of our conversation, but now I do.
在我们谈话开始时我完全不明白你为什么这样做，但现在我明白了。
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Oh-- Dana Chivvis Now, it makes perfect sense--
哦——Dana Chivvis 现在，这完全有道理——
--that's so great.
——那就太好了。
Dana Chivvis --to me.
达纳·奇维斯——对我来说。
That's great.
太好了。
I can show you how to do it.
我可以告诉你怎么做。
It's kind of fun.
这很有趣。
When he sits down to calculate the Family Average Location, it's kind of like he's saying a prayer, a math prayer not just to record where they all are, but that they all are.
当他坐下来计算家庭平均位置时，这有点像他在说一个祈祷，一个数学祈祷，不仅是为了记录他们所有人在哪里，而是为了他们所有人。
Dana Chivvis, she's a producer on our show.
Dana Chivvis，她是我们节目的制片人。
Well, our program was produced today by Lilly Sullivan.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由莉莉·沙利文制作的。
The people who put together today's show include Elna Baker, Dana Chivvis, Sean Cole, Michael Comite, Aviva DeKornfeld, Damien Graef, Chana Jaffe-Walt, Kyla Jones, Seth Lind, Tobin Low, Lina Misitzis, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Alix Spiegel, Alissa Shipp, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, Chloee Weiner, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Elna Baker、Dana Chivvis、Sean Cole、Michael Comite、Aviva DeKornfeld、Damien Graef、Chana Jaffe-Walt、Kyla Jones、Seth Lind、Tobin Low、Lina Misitzis、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Rae Mondo、Alix Spiegel、Alissa Shipp、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney、Chloee Weiner 和 Diane Wu。
Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑是萨拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sarah Abdurrahman)。
Our senior editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的高级编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks today to Paul Israel, Andrew Mayne, Katharina Eggman, Leonard DeGraaf, Patrick Feaster, Brett Wean, Alex Magoun, and Rabbi Caryn Broitman, Jerry Fabris from the Thomas Edison National Historical Park, a.k.a.
今天特别感谢来自托马斯·爱迪生国家历史公园（又称托马斯·爱迪生国家历史公园）的 Paul Israel、Andrew Mayne、Katharina Eggman、Leonard DeGraaf、Patrick Feaster、Brett Wean、Alex Magoun 和 Rabbi Caryn Broitman、Jerry Fabris。
the Edison Lab in West Orange.
西奥兰治的爱迪生实验室。
He's the one who recorded my voice on an old Edison Triumph phonograph for the opening of our show.
他是用一台旧的爱迪生凯旋留声机为我们的演出开场录制我的声音的人。
The woman in the opening today who saw her father differently, Michele Dawson Haber, we heard about her story after she wrote about it in The New York Times.
今天开场的这位女士对她的父亲有不同的看法，米歇尔·道森·哈伯 (Michele Dawson Haber)，在她在《纽约时报》上写下她的故事后，我们听说了她的故事。
Her website is MicheleDHaber.com.
她的网站是 MicheleDHaber.com。
Our website, ThisAmericanLife.org, where you can stream our archive of over 750 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 ThisAmericanLife.org，您可以在其中完全免费地观看我们的 750 多集档案。
Also, there's videos.
另外，还有视频。
We have lists of favorite shows.
我们有最喜欢的节目列表。
We have tons of other stuff there, too.
我们那里还有很多其他东西。
Again, ThisAmericanLife.org.
再次，ThisAmericanLife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks as always to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
We keep telling him, Torey, it's dead serious.
我们一直告诉他，托里，事情非常严重。
The phrase is dead serious, but he never budges.
这句话非常严肃，但他却始终没有让步。
No, this is "dad" serious.
不，这是“爸爸”认真的。
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass.
艾拉·格拉斯 我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。