730: The Empty Chair - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #730 | January 22, 2021 730: The Empty Chair Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 730 集 | 2021 年 1 月 22 日 730：空椅子 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Announcer A quick warning, there are curse words that are unbeeped in today's episode of the show.
序言：序言播音员 快速警告，今天的节目中有些脏话没有发出提示音。
If you prefer a beeped version, you can find that at our website, thisamericanlife.org.
如果您更喜欢蜂鸣声版本，您可以在我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org 上找到该版本。
There was this article that a comedy website put out last year.
去年有一个喜剧网站发布了这篇文章。
Did you see this one?
你看到这个了吗？
This was when cities first started going into lockdown.
这是城市第一次开始封锁的时候。
The headline said, "Nation's dogs effing loving whatever is going on right now." Apparently, that wasn't every dog.
标题是：“这个国家的狗爱死现在发生的一切。”显然，这不是每只狗。
Lauren's dog, Raffi, 50-pound boxer mix, was a kind of vigilant, super protective dog even before the pandemic.
劳伦的狗拉菲 (Raffi) 是一种重 50 磅的拳击手混种狗，即使在疫情爆发之前，它也是一种警惕性极强的保护性狗。
And then, once lockdown started--
然后，一旦封锁开始——
The problem was everyone was ordering stuff online, and there were a million delivery people coming.
问题是每个人都在网上订购东西，而且有一百万送货员来了。
There was FedEx, UPS, USPS, Amazon all day long.
整天都有联邦快递、联合包裹、美国邮政、亚马逊。
Or my neighbors would be coming and going.
或者我的邻居会来来去去。
And the minute-- I couldn't even hear a delivery truck coming up the street, and already, the dog jumped on a chair that was near my window, was peering out, just fully at attention, ears pricked up.
就在那一刻——我什至听不到街道上驶来的送货卡车的声音，而那只狗已经跳到我窗户附近的一张椅子上，向外张望，全神贯注，竖起耳朵。
That's when I started to see his anxiety amped up, right?
就在那时我开始看到他的焦虑加剧了，对吗？
He couldn't get any rest.
他无法得到任何休息。
He couldn't calm down.
他无法平静。
In the house, he was always barking and growling and couldn't settle down.
在屋里，他总是狂吠、咆哮，无法安定下来。
The fact that Lauren was now home all day with him-- which, for lots of dogs, would have been the greatest thing that ever happened to them-- for Raffi, just made things a lot worse.
事实上，劳伦现在整天和他在一起——这对很多狗来说，是发生在它们身上的最伟大的事情——但对拉菲来说，这只会让事情变得更糟。
Dogs like him, they need a break, right?
像他这样的狗，他们需要休息，对吧？
They need a break from the vigilance to say, I don't need to guard this person anymore.
他们需要从警惕中解脱出来，说：我不需要再守护这个人了。
This person's out of the house.
这个人不在家了。
I'm chill.
我很冷。
They need to not be on the job all the time.
他们不需要一直在工作。
And I think that he was on the job all the time.
我认为他一直都在工作。
And that was the problem.
这就是问题所在。
She took him to a behavioral veterinarian, who told her that lots of dogs were going through this since the pandemic.
她带他去看行为兽医，兽医告诉她，自从大流行以来，很多狗都经历过这种情况。
They put Raffi on meds-- meat-flavored Prozac.
他们给拉菲服用药物——肉味百忧解。
It didn't fix the problem.
它没有解决问题。
He got worse and worse.
他的情况越来越糟。
On walks, he was suspicious of people, which he had never been before.
散步时，他对人产生怀疑，这是他以前从未有过的。
He ran across the room and burst through the door to chase and bite a FedEx delivery man.
他跑过房间，冲破门，追赶并咬了一名联邦快递送货员。
He lunged at someone on the stairs of the building.
他向大楼楼梯上的某人猛扑过去。
Lauren set up an appointment with a trainer who specialized in aggressive dogs.
劳伦约见了一位专门训练攻击性狗的训练师。
And finally, Raffi attacked a little girl, maybe eight or nine years old.
最后，拉菲袭击了一个小女孩，大约八九岁。
Just burst through a latched gate at a community garden where dogs run off leash.
刚刚冲进社区花园的一扇锁着的大门，那里的狗不受皮带束缚。
Lauren was guarding the door to make sure nobody entered while Raffi was in there, but he rushed past her to get to the girl, breaking through the gate.
劳伦守着门，以确保拉菲在里面时没有人进来，但他冲过她身边，冲破了大门，找到了女孩。
And the girl fell down, and the dog just got on top of her.
女孩摔倒了，狗正好压在她身上。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
Lauren So terrifying.
劳伦太可怕了。
I mean, the dog probably weighed almost as much as the girl did.
我的意思是，那只狗的重量可能几乎和那个女孩一样重。
And I mean, I was just devastated for the girl.
我的意思是，我只是为这个女孩感到震惊。
The girl was upset and crying and walked away limping.
女孩伤心地哭着，一瘸一拐地走开了。
Lauren's an experienced dog person.
劳伦是一位经验丰富的养狗人士。
She worked with three different trainers when she first got Raffi to deal with his aggressiveness towards other dogs.
当她第一次让拉菲应对他对其他狗的攻击性时，她与三位不同的训练师合作。
But the fact that these attacks since the pandemic were completely unprovoked and on people, the fact that the meds weren't working, that Raffi seemed perpetually agitated and just changed, she thought about putting him down.
但事实是，自大流行以来，这些袭击完全是无缘无故的，而且是针对人的，药物不起作用，拉菲似乎永远焦躁不安，只是发生了变化，她考虑杀死他。
She felt like she had no choice.
她觉得自己别无选择。
And I wrestled with those things.
我也在与这些事情作斗争。
I mean, it's an excruciating decision to make.
我的意思是，这是一个令人痛苦的决定。
I've had dogs before that I've had to euthanize because they are old or they're sick.
我以前养过狗，但因为它们老了或者生病了，我不得不对其实施安乐死。
And you're putting them out of their misery.
你正在让他们摆脱痛苦。
And this was a totally different experience because you're taking a perfectly healthy being that loves you more than anything, that would do anything for you--
这是一种完全不同的体验，因为你正在接受一个完全健康的存在，他爱你胜过一切，他会为你做任何事——
Well, yeah.
嗯，是的。
And, in fact, is trying to protect you.
事实上，它正在努力保护你。
Right, right, and trusts you.
对对对，相信你。
But a completely unprovoked attack like that?
但这样的攻击完全是无缘无故的吗？
There's nothing you can say about it.
对此你无话可说。
There's no way you can reason yourself out of what has to happen next.
你无法推理出接下来要发生的事情。
If you go after a kid, you're done, you know?
如果你去追一个孩子，你就完了，知道吗？
It's truly the most heartbreaking decision I've ever had to make in my life.
这确实是我一生中做过的最令人心碎的决定。
It's the anniversary of the first COVID case in the United States.
这是美国第一例新冠肺炎病例的周年纪念日。
When you first heard of COVID, could you have imagined that it would have touched you in this particular way, that you'd end up not having your dog?
当你第一次听说新冠病毒时，你能想象它会以这种特殊的方式触动你，以至于你最终会失去你的狗吗？
There is no world in which I would think that this would be the logical outcome of COVID, that I would have to put my dog down, that COVID would ever have any impact on my dog.
我绝对不会认为这是新冠疫情的合乎逻辑的结果，我必须把我的狗放下，新冠疫情会对我的狗产生任何影响。
I mean, of all of the possible probable outcomes of a global pandemic, my dog dying is not one that I could have ever imagined.
我的意思是，在全球大流行的所有可能结果中，我的狗的死亡是我无法想象的。
There are certain consequences of the pandemic that we all know-- over 400,000 Americans dead, millions of people out of work, kids everywhere having these terrible school years with distant learning.
我们都知道，这场流行病会造成一定的后果——超过 40 万美国人死亡，数百万人失业，世界各地的孩子都在远程学习中度过了糟糕的学年。
But there are all these other ways the virus has altered and shaped our lives.
但病毒还通过其他方式改变和塑造了我们的生活。
I was talking to this woman, Cindy, in Lincoln, Nebraska about this thing that happened a few days after her dad died of COVID.
我正在与内布拉斯加州林肯市的辛迪女士谈论她父亲因新冠去世几天后发生的事情。
She was bringing her minivan into the garage and realized, oh, right.
她正把她的小型货车开进车库，然后意识到，哦，对了。
My dad isn't going to teach my son to drive.
我爸爸不会教我儿子开车。
I think it was-- I was just parking.
我想是——我只是在停车。
I think I was parking my own car and putting my hands on the keys and just thinking, oh, wait.
我想我当时正在停车，把手放在钥匙上，心里想着，哦，等等。
That's another thing that we're going to miss now.
这是我们现在会怀念的另一件事。
Her son Harrison and her dad were really close.
她的儿子哈里森和她的父亲非常亲密。
And she felt good knowing that her dad was going to teach him to drive.
知道她爸爸要教他开车，她感觉很好。
She says Harrison's really smart and funny, but not everybody gets him.
她说哈里森真的很聪明又有趣，但并不是每个人都能理解他。
And he and my dad really got each other.
他和我爸爸真的很投缘。
And they could just hang out, make funny jokes, ask questions, quiz each other.
他们可以一起出去玩，讲有趣的笑话，问问题，互相测验。
As a matter of fact, I was just looking.
事实上，我只是在看看。
I have a-- there's a toy plastic soldier sitting on my desk.
我的桌子上有一个塑料玩具士兵。
When her dad had open heart surgery, Harrison brought a few of these little plastic green soldiers to his hospital room.
当她父亲进行心脏直视手术时，哈里森将一些塑料绿色小士兵带到了他的病房。
And said, these will protect you while you're in the hospital, Grandpa.
并说，爷爷，当你住院时，这些会保护你。
And so, my dad started staging battle scenes from his hospital bed.
于是，我父亲开始在医院的病床上上演战斗场面。
And there was candy and Kleenex.
还有糖果和纸巾。
And then he would text them-- photos-- to my son and say, hey, Harrison, look.
然后他会把照片发短信给我儿子，说，嘿，哈里森，看。
Here's-- you know.
这是——你知道的。
Anyway, those were the kind of things that they would just do with each other.
不管怎样，这些都是他们只会和对方做的事情。
Anyway, driving-- not a huge thing, just a small, specific loss.
不管怎样，开车——不是什么大事，只是一个小小的、具体的损失。
Harrison's 16th birthday, the birthday that you can get a driver's license, was just a few weeks after her dad died.
哈里森的 16 岁生日，即可以获得驾驶执照的生日，就在她父亲去世几周后。
I don't know if we'll have to-- I suppose we'll take turns, my husband and I.
我不知道我们是否必须——我想我们会轮流，我和我的丈夫。
Yeah, we haven't talked about it anymore, though.
是的，不过我们还没有再讨论过这个问题。
I think we all kind of know it's hanging there.
我想我们都知道它挂在那里。
And in some ways, not moving on with it maybe is a way of still kind of that magical thinking of, oh, maybe we don't have to think about it another way, even though we all know that's the reality.
在某些方面，不继续前进也许仍然是一种神奇的思考方式，哦，也许我们不必以另一种方式思考它，即使我们都知道这就是现实。
Cindy said this one thing to me that really caught me by surprise.
辛迪对我说了一件让我大吃一惊的事。
We were talking about how, since her dad died, she's connected to this whole community of people online who've lost family members to COVID.
我们谈论的是，自从她父亲去世后，她如何与因新冠肺炎失去家人的整个网络社区建立联系。
And I asked her what people have said that's been helpful, expecting her to say, it's been comforting to talk to people who have been through what you've been through, that kind of thing.
我问她人们说过哪些有用的话，希望她说，与经历过你所经历的人交谈是令人欣慰的，诸如此类的事情。
But the most important thing she's gotten from it?
但她从中得到的最重要的东西是什么？
I think some validation in the anger when you're surrounded by still some denial.
我认为当你被一些否认所包围时，愤怒中会有一些证实。
People who say that the disease isn't that serious.
人们说这个病没有那么严重。
After her father got sick, Cindy says the car dealership where he worked told him that one of his co-workers had tested positive eight days before.
辛迪说，她父亲生病后，他工作的汽车经销商告诉他，他的一名同事八天前检测结果呈阳性。
Oh, absolutely.
哦，绝对是。
Ira Glass And then you're angry at the government in general, the way it was handled.
艾拉·格拉斯：然后你会对整个政府及其处理方式感到愤怒。
The fact that we still have a functioning television in our house is probably a miracle, because the number of times that I was ready to throw something when the occupant of the White House would talk about how this is no big deal, it's going to go away.
事实上，我们家里仍然有一台正常运转的电视机，这可能是一个奇迹，因为有多少次，当白宫主人说这没什么大不了的时候，我准备扔东西，它就会消失。
Because we clearly knew that that wasn't true.
因为我们清楚地知道那不是真的。
And after my dad got sick and then died, I was just so angry.
在我父亲生病然后去世后，我非常生气。
It's like, we knew what we needed to do.
就像，我们知道我们需要做什么。
We could have done something in this country.
我们本可以在这个国家做一些事情。
Have you heard Joe Biden talk about the empty chair?
你听过乔·拜登谈论空椅子吗？
Yeah, it was actually the final debate.
是的，这实际上是最后的辩论。
My dad's date of death is October 20th.
我父亲的去世日期是10月20日。
And the last debate was October 22nd.
最后一次辩论是在10月22日。
And I had heard that line.
我听过那句话。
I've heard him use it before.
我以前听他用过。
And I know that's a part of-- kind of like one of the things maybe from the stump speech, sort of thing.
我知道这是——有点像演讲中的其中一件事，之类的。
Right, it's one of those things he said a million times.
是的，这是他说过一百万遍的事情之一。
Right, he said it a million times.
是的，他已经说了一百万遍了。
And then, I'm sitting on the couch.
然后，我就坐在沙发上。
And he looks at the camera, and he talks about it again after my dad died.
他看着镜头，在我父亲去世后他又谈到了这件事。
And it truly felt like, oh, right, this is me now.
真的感觉就像，哦，对了，这就是我现在。
This is my Thanksgiving.
这就是我的感恩节。
This is my Christmas.
这就是我的圣诞节。
This is my son's 16th birthday.
这是我儿子的 16 岁生日。
And somehow, even though I knew he had said that line hundreds of times before, I felt like he was looking through the television, straight at me.
不知何故，尽管我知道他之前已经说过这句话数百次了，但我感觉他正在透过电视，直视着我。
I felt like he was looking at our whole family.
我感觉他在看着我们全家。
And I felt like he was looking at all of us, all of the other-- at the time, it was only, like, 200,000 families.
我觉得他正在看着我们所有人，所有其他人——当时，大概只有 20 万个家庭。
Just three months later, of course, the numbers doubled.
当然，仅仅三个月后，这个数字就翻了一番。
It's such a simple thing to acknowledge the loss that's all around us.
承认我们周围的损失是一件非常简单的事情。
Today, on our program, with the new president in office, one year after the first coronavirus case was found in the United States-- it was in Seattle, January 21st of last year-- here are stories about some of the things that have been lost this past year, things we do not usually think about as part of that empty chair.
今天，在我们的节目中，随着新总统的上任，在美国发现第一例冠状病毒病例（去年 1 月 21 日在西雅图）一年后，这里有一些关于过去一年中失去的东西的故事，这些东西我们通常不会认为是那张空椅子的一部分。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Cops and Robbers.
第一幕，警察与强盗。
So what do you say exactly about what was lost two weeks ago on January 6th, when rioters stormed the Capitol building?
那么，对于两周前的 1 月 6 日暴徒冲进国会大厦时所造成的损失，您到底有何看法呢？
When reporter Emmanuel Felton watched that day, out of all the footage he saw, one video stood out to him.
当记者伊曼纽尔·费尔顿那天观看时，在他看到的所有镜头中，有一个视频让他印象深刻。
You might have seen this one.
你可能见过这个。
It's of a single Black officer.
这是一名黑人军官的作品。
We'd all later find his name, Eugene Goodman.
后来我们都找到了他的名字，尤金·古德曼。
And in the video, he's backing up a staircase, holding off a mob of rioters with a tiny telescoping baton.
在视频中，他正在倒退楼梯，用一根小型伸缩警棍抵挡一群暴徒。
That gave Emmanuel the idea.
这给了伊曼纽尔一个想法。
He wanted to hear what the day was like for Black Capitol police officers, who faced off with this mostly white mob, a mob that showed up to the Capitol with Confederate flags and other symbols of white supremacy.
他想听听国会大厦黑人警察今天的情况如何，他们与这群以白人为主的暴徒对峙，这些暴徒拿着邦联旗帜和其他白人至上的象征出现在国会大厦。
What did they think about what happened?
他们对发生的事情有何看法？
Eventually, he got a few of these officers on the phone, and they shared an insider account that is really unlike anything we've heard from the Capitol so far.
最终，他给其中几位官员打了电话，他们分享了一份内部人士的叙述，这与我们迄今为止从国会大厦听到的任何消息都截然不同。
Some of their experience, of course, was the same as white officers.
当然，他们的一些经历与白人军官相同。
But as you'll hear, some of it was very different.
但正如您将听到的，其中一些非常不同。
Emmanuel put together this next story from an interview with one of those Black officers.
伊曼纽尔根据对其中一名黑人警官的采访整理了下一个故事。
The Capitol Police officers, their job is to protect the Capitol grounds and members of Congress.
国会大厦警察的工作是保护国会大厦场地和国会议员。
Because they're not allowed to talk to the press, we needed to disguise this officer's identity.
由于他们不被允许与媒体交谈，我们需要隐藏这名官员的身份。
And so, we had an actor copy his voice as closely as possible.
因此，我们让演员尽可能模仿他的声音。
A quick warning also-- this story contains a racial slur.
还有一个快速警告——这个故事包含种族歧视。
Here's Emmanuel.
这是伊曼纽尔。
The officer, who I'm calling Officer Jones, was the person almost everyone told me I just had to talk to.
那位警官，我称之为琼斯警官，几乎每个人都告诉我，我必须与之交谈的人。
Jones is warm and outgoing as hell.
琼斯非常热情、外向。
At one point, he told me his love language is words of affirmation.
有一次，他告诉我他的爱情语言是肯定的话语。
He has a lot of feelings about his job.
他对自己的工作有很多感触。
I talked to him on Friday, just two days after the attack.
周五，即袭击发生两天后，我与他进行了交谈。
He was a little stunned, still processing everything that had happened, and nursing some injuries.
他有些愕然，仍在处理所发生的一切，并护理着一些伤势。
Just scrapes, cuts, bruises, bloody knuckles.
只是擦伤、割伤、瘀伤、指关节流血。
I got me some work in, I tell you that.
我给我找了一些工作，我告诉你。
[LAUGHTER] But I did see two dead bodies.
[笑声]但我确实看到了两具尸体。
Three, if you include my co-worker.
第三，如果包括我的同事的话。
But he wasn't dead at the time.
但当时他还没有死。
I've never been in a war.
我从未经历过战争。
I'm not a veteran, but I can imagine that's what the fuck war looks like.
我不是退伍军人，但我可以想象这就是他妈的战争的样子。
Yeah.
是的。
Officer Jones I can imagine that, so.
琼斯警官 我可以想象，所以。
The day hadn't started that way at all.
这一天根本不是这样开始的。
That morning, he was posted on the east side of the Capitol building.
那天早上，他被派驻在国会大厦东侧。
A friend of mine screenshotted me an Instagram story saying, we're breaching the Capitol today, guys.
我的一个朋友给我截了一张 Instagram 故事的截图，上面写着：伙计们，我们今天要攻破国会大厦。
I hope you're all ready.
我希望你们都准备好了。
Officer Jones thinks it was from the Proud Boys.
琼斯警官认为这是骄傲男孩乐队发来的。
And I'm like, wait, what?
我想，等等，什么？
I laughed at it, and I was like, please.
我笑了，我想，拜托。
They ain't coming in here.
他们不会进来的。
Everybody say that.
大家都这么说。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Of course, we know by now that's exactly what happened.
当然，我们现在知道这正是发生的事情。
Not long after 1:00, he says people were coming from everywhere.
1:00 过后不久，他说人们从四面八方涌来。
And then, over the radio, they called out that they breached the first fence line or security.
然后，他们通过无线电大声喊道，他们突破了第一道栅栏线或安全设施。
It was like, wait a minute.
就像，等一下。
All right, guys.
好吧，伙计们。
This is going to get real.
这将会成为现实。
He raced over to the west side of the Capitol, the side that faces the mall where the stage was set up for inauguration, and joined the police line as they tried to beat back the crowd with their fists and batons, pepper spraying them and yelling, "Get back!
他跑到国会大厦的西侧，面向商场的一侧，那里是就职典礼舞台搭建的地方，加入了警察队伍，警察试图用拳头和警棍击退人群，向他们喷胡椒水，并大喊：“回来！
Get back!"
快回来吧！”
Have you ever been in a fight like that?
你有经历过这样的战斗吗？
No, not like that.
不，不是那样的。
No way.
决不。
These people were deranged, and they were determined.
这些人精神错乱，意志坚定。
I've played video games before.
我以前玩过电子游戏。
Well, you know, zombie games-- Resident Evil, Call of Duty.
好吧，你知道，僵尸游戏——《生化危机》、《使命召唤》。
And the zombies are just coming after you, and you're just out there.
僵尸就在追赶你，而你就在外面。
I guess that's what I could relate it to-- Call of Duty zombies.
我想这就是我可以将其与《使命召唤》僵尸联系起来的原因。
And the further you go, the more and more zombies just coming.
而且越往前走，僵尸就越多。
You're just running, running, running.
你只是跑，跑，跑。
And they wouldn't stop.
他们不会停止。
You're seeing they're getting their heads cracked with these batons, and we're spraying them, and they don't care!
你看到他们的头被这些警棍打裂了，而我们向他们喷水，他们却不在乎！
It was insane.
这太疯狂了。
Once the rioters broke into the Capitol around 2:00, Officer Jones rushed inside to try and help out.
2:00 左右，骚乱者闯入国会大厦后，琼斯警官冲进去试图提供帮助。
He wasn't following any instructions because there weren't any.
他没有遵循任何指示，因为没有任何指示。
He realized that as he listened into his radio.
当他听收音机时，他意识到了这一点。
The Department was attempting to come up with a plan-- attempting to come up with a plan because that was said on the radio, "We need to come up with a plan."
该部门正试图制定一项计划——试图制定一项计划，因为广播中说，“我们需要制定一项计划。”
Whoa.
哇哦。
[LAUGHS] Officer Jones I was thinking to myself, wait, why don't we have one already?
[笑] 琼斯警官 我心里想，等等，为什么我们还没有一个呢？
So the officers came up with their own strategy.
于是军官们想出了自己的策略。
They linked up in teams of two and ran around the building, responding to distress calls coming in over the radio.
他们两人一组，绕着大楼跑，回应通过无线电传来的求救信号。
Priority calls, which meant everyone stopped and listened.
优先呼叫，这意味着每个人都停下来倾听。
They were pouring in.
他们蜂拥而至。
So when you're used to hearing priority maybe once every two or three days and you're hearing it once every 30 seconds-- priority, we have an officer down.
因此，当您习惯于每两三天听到一次“优先”，并且每 30 秒听到一次“优先”时，我们有一名警官在场。
Priority, we have an officer trapped, surrounded by protesters.
最重要的是，我们有一名警官被困，周围都是抗议者。
Priority, we have a person having a medical emergency.
优先，我们有一个人出现紧急医疗情况。
We need DC Fire to this location.
我们需要 DC Fire 到达此位置。
Priority, they just breached the windows.
最重要的是，他们刚刚打破了窗户。
Priority, they're breaking the glass.
优先，他们正在打破玻璃。
Priority, they're headed up to the House chamber.
当务之急，他们要去众议院议事厅。
Priority, shots fired.
优先，开枪。
And you're thinking, what in the hell is happening?
你在想，到底发生了什么？
While responding to these distress calls, Officer Jones got into some really surprising and intense conversations with the rioters, like when he and his partner were responding to a call for help from a fellow officer and ran into a crowd of 30 or 40 rioters headed straight for an area full of injured cops.
在回应这些求救电话时，琼斯警官与骚乱者进行了一些非常令人惊讶和激烈的对话，比如当他和他的搭档回应同事的求救电话时，遇到了一群 30 或 40 名骚乱者，他们径直冲向满是受伤警察的地区。
I sent the guy I was with-- I told him to go ahead and respond to the other call, and I'll stand here and I'll hold this hallway.
我派了和我在一起的那个人——我告诉他去接另一个电话，我会站在这里，我会守住这条走廊。
And I took them all by myself.
而且都是我一个人拿走的。
I made an impassioned plea to them.
我向他们提出了慷慨的恳求。
I said, "Listen.
我说：“听着。
You have the nerve to be holding a Blue Lives Matter flag, and you are out there fucking us up.
你竟然有勇气举着“蓝色生命也是命”的旗帜，却在外面搞砸了我们。
Please go the fuck home.
请他妈的回家吧。
You don't care about us.
你不关心我们。
How can you care about us, and you're doing this to us?
你怎么能关心我们，还这么对我们？
We got dozens of cops incapacitated and hurt now."
我们现在有数十名警察失去行动能力并受伤。”
And when I said that, a lot of them stopped and paused and was like, wait, y'all got cops down?
当我这么说时，他们中的很多人停下来问，等等，你们把警察都抓走了吗？
How many cops are down?
有多少警察倒下？
And they looked like they had a moment of like, holy fuck.
他们看起来就像有那么一刻，天哪。
And then, they snapped back out of it.
然后，他们又恢复了过来。
And it was like, hey, guys.
就像，嘿，伙计们。
Man, we're doing this for you.
伙计，我们正在为你做这件事。
And then, one of the guys, it was a group of, like, seven people walked by.
然后，其中一个人，一群，大约七个人走过。
And two of them in the back say, "Hey, listen, man.
后面的两个人说：“嘿，听着，伙计。
I know what you're going through," and he pulled out his badge.
我知道你正在经历什么。”然后他拿出了徽章。
A police badge.
警察徽章。
Officer Jones And the other guy had his badge.
琼斯警官 另一个人有他的徽章。
I was like, wait, you got to be kidding.
我当时想，等等，你一定是在开玩笑。
And I wanted to go up and snatch it.
我想上去抢它。
I wanted to find out who the fuck they were.
我他妈的想知道他们是谁。
And me, I'm the only Black dude standing in front of them.
而我，我是唯一站在他们面前的黑人。
Yeah.
是的。
So what did they do?
那么他们做了什么？
Officer Jones They looked at me.
琼斯警官 他们看着我。
They yelled at me.
他们对我大喊大叫。
They were yelling at me.
他们对我大喊大叫。
And I would not let them go past.
我不会让他们过去。
They all want to go past me?
他们都想从我身边过去吗？
I'm going to beat all your asses.
我要打败你们所有的屁股。
One by one, I'm going to deck all of y'all.
我将一一装饰你们所有人。
Come on.
快点。
And that's when one of the guys that was a cop said, "Hey, man, we're going to stand here with you." I was like, "No, get the fuck out of my building." He was like, "This is our building." And I was like, "This is my goddamn building.
就在那时，其中一个警察说：“嘿，伙计，我们会和你站在一起。”我当时想，“不，滚出我的大楼。”他说：“这是我们的大楼。”我当时想，“这就是我该死的建筑。
I'm in charge here.
我是这里的负责人。
Get the fuck out." And that's when I started losing my temper even more.
他妈的滚出去。”就在那时我开始更加发脾气。
I mean, I got tears streaming down my face.
我的意思是，我的泪水从我的脸上流下来。
Later that day, when he was even more drained, he had another confrontation, this one about politics.
那天晚些时候，当他更加疲惫时，他又发生了另一次对抗，这次是关于政治的。
It happened near the rotunda when Officer Jones was trying to protect a critical hallway.
这起事件发生在圆形大厅附近，当时琼斯警官正试图保护一条重要的走廊。
There was something like 70 of them this time.
这次大约有七十个人。
The attackers he was facing off with started justifying what they were doing.
他所面对的攻击者开始为他们的所作所为辩护。
"Listen," they told him.
“听着，”他们告诉他。
"We can't let them overtake our democracy.
“我们不能让他们超越我们的民主。
We're stopping this deal, man."
我们要阻止这笔交易，伙计。”
Then I started-- actually, I got baited into a conversation.
然后我开始——实际上，我陷入了一场谈话。
I didn't get baited because I wanted to fucking engage him.
我没有被引诱，因为我他妈的想和他交往。
And the guy was telling me.
那家伙告诉我。
I was like, "Yeah, I voted for Joe Biden.
我当时想，“是的，我投票给了乔·拜登。
So the fuck what?" I was like, "What?
所以他妈的什么？”我当时想，“什么？
Do I not matter?
我不重要吗？
Am I a liar?
我是骗子吗？
I voted for Joe Biden.
我投票给乔·拜登。
So the fuck what?
那么他妈的什么？
So tell me I don't fucking matter." I was like, "What?
所以告诉我我他妈的不重要。”我当时想，“什么？
Oh, I gotta agree with you?
哦，我必须同意你的观点吗？
I gotta agree with you?
我必须同意你的观点吗？
If I don't, what?
如果我不这样做，那又怎样？
You're going to kill me?"
你要杀了我吗？”
I think that so much of Trump and his supporters' anger and inability to accept their loss in the 2020 election boils down to the idea that Black votes just shouldn't count.
我认为特朗普和他的支持者的愤怒和无法接受自己在 2020 年大选中失败的大部分原因都归结为黑人选票不应该算在内。
The president has continuously attacked Black voters.
总统不断攻击黑人选民。
He has claimed that there was widespread fraud in a number of cities with large Black populations, cities like Atlanta, Detroit, Philadelphia, and he has demanded that thousands of votes be thrown out because of it.
他声称，在亚特兰大、底特律、费城等一些黑人人口众多的城市，舞弊现象十分普遍，他因此要求扔掉数千张选票。
But this crowd was a lot more, mm, direct.
但这群人更加，嗯，直接。
They were lighting into me.
他们正在向我照射。
"Oh, this nigga voted for Joe Biden." And he yelled it to his crowd, the crowd, and they booed.
“哦，这个黑鬼投票给了乔·拜登。”他向他的人群大声喊叫，人群发出嘘声。
Eventually, reinforcements from other police departments arrived to help clear out the building.
最终，其他警察部门的增援部队赶到，帮助清理大楼。
It was a little before 5:00 when things finally calmed down enough that officers were told to take a few seconds to send an "I'm OK" text to loved ones.
快到 5:00 时，事情终于平静下来，警察被告知需要花几秒钟时间向亲人发送一条“我很好”的短信。
When Jones looked down at his phone, he had something like 70 text messages and over 30 missed calls.
当琼斯低头看手机时，他收到了大约 70 条短信和 30 多个未接来电。
Not long after that, he finally got a chance to sit down, catch his breath, and take it all in.
不久之后，他终于有机会坐下来，喘口气，静下心来感受这一切。
I didn't even think about race until we got everybody out.
在我们把所有人都赶出去之前，我什至没有考虑过种族问题。
And I sat down with one of my buddies, and tears just started streaming down my face.
我和我的一位朋友坐下来，泪水开始从我的脸上流下来。
Now, obviously, all the commotion has ended, so it's just law enforcement in there and FBI suits and all these suits walking around.
现在，显然，所有骚乱都已经结束，所以只有执法部门和联邦调查局的诉讼以及所有这些诉讼在四处走动。
Everybody-- you know, the important people show up once all the fucking mess is done.
每个人——你知道，一旦所有该死的混乱都解决了，重要的人就会出现。
Right.
正确的。
Officer Jones And I'm just sitting there, covered in fucking tear gas and OC spray.
琼斯警官，我就坐在那里，浑身都是他妈的催泪瓦斯和OC喷雾。
And I'm looking at my buddy.
我正在看着我的朋友。
He put his arm around me, another Black guy.
他用手臂搂住我，另一个黑人。
And I was like-- I was like, you got-- look at him, look at him.
我当时想——我想，你得——看看他，看看他。
They're just sitting there, smiling, sitting there, hand shaking each other.
他们只是坐在那里，微笑着，坐在那里，互相握手。
He means the FBI guys and other law enforcement.
他指的是联邦调查局人员和其他执法人员。
What the fuck are you smiling about?
你他妈的笑什么？
What the fuck are you smiling about?
你他妈的笑什么？
And I'm furious.
我很愤怒。
And that's when I said, "I'm so sick and tired of this shit.
就在那时我说：“我对这些狗屎感到厌倦了。
These were racist-ass terrorists!" And I'm screaming.
这些都是种族主义恐怖分子！”我尖叫起来。
I'm in the rotunda, and it echoes.
我在圆形大厅里，它在回响。
So it was loud as shit.
所以声音很大。
Everybody stopped, and they turned around and looked at me.
大家都停下来，转过头来看着我。
And I was like, "What the fuck are y'all looking at?
我当时想，“你们他妈的在看什么？
Nobody should be OK.
没有人应该没事。
We just fought for five fucking hours with some fucking racist terrorists." I said, "I got called a nigger 15 times, man."
我们刚刚和一些该死的种族主义恐怖分子战斗了五个小时。”我说，“我被称为黑鬼 15 次了，伙计。”
Yeah.
是的。
Fuck, yeah.
他妈的，是的。
I'm trying to imagine as a Black man what it was like, having the N-word hurled at you, seeing that kind of ugly racism.
我试图想象作为一个黑人，当你看到这种丑陋的种族主义时，被辱骂的词是什么感觉。
It broke my heart.
这让我心碎。
Like I said, that's why I had my breakdown in the rotunda.
就像我说的，这就是我在圆形大厅崩溃的原因。
And I just sat there and I cried.
我只是坐在那儿哭了。
I cried.
我哭了。
I cried for about 15 minutes, and I just let it out.
我哭了大约15分钟，然后就哭出来了。
I was done.
我已经完成了。
I was mentally exhausted.
我精神疲惫。
I was physically exhausted.
我已经筋疲力尽了。
And I didn't have anything left to give.
而我已经没有什么可以给予的了。
And it just hurts so much.
而且真的很痛。
And then I looked at my buddy.
然后我看着我的朋友。
And I remember, I said, "Is this fucking America, yo?
我记得，我说，“这他妈的是美国吗？
What are we doing?" I was like, what is happening?
我们在做什么？”我想，发生了什么事？
I've been thinking a lot about what January 6th says about America.
我一直在思考 1 月 6 日对美国的影响。
When I think about that day, I remember the photos I saw early that morning of Black poll workers in Georgia bravely counting the runoff ballots in the middle of a pandemic and under threat from Trump supporters; how, that afternoon, I saw video of a Black officer, Eugene Goodman, protecting Mike Pence and lawmakers from the insurrectionists; and later that night, watching a video of Black Capitol staff cleaning up the mess the rioters left.
当我想起那一天时，我记得那天早上我看到的照片，佐治亚州的黑人民意调查工作人员在疫情期间和特朗普支持者的威胁下勇敢地清点决选选票；那天下午，我如何看到黑人警官尤金·古德曼（Eugene Goodman）保护迈克·彭斯（Mike Pence）和立法者免受叛乱分子侵害的视频；那天晚上晚些时候，观看了黑人国会大厦工作人员清理骚乱者留下的烂摊子的视频。
Through all the attacks, everywhere I looked, it was Black people doing the job of making our democracy work.
在所有的攻击中，无论我看到哪里，都是黑人在努力让我们的民主发挥作用。
It was a job Officer Jones continued to do the day after the attack.
袭击发生后的第二天，琼斯警官继续从事这项工作。
He went straight back to work.
他直接回去工作了。
With continuing threats, the Capitol Police have had to work around the clock.
由于威胁不断，国会警察不得不全天候工作。
16-hour days have become the norm.
每天工作16小时已经成为常态。
He's had just one day off in the two weeks between January 6th and Inauguration.
从 1 月 6 日到就职典礼之间的两周内，他只休息了一天。
I talked to him a few days before.
几天前我和他谈过。
So you're back at work now.
所以你现在回到工作岗位了。
What does it feel like to be at the Capitol today?
今天在国会大厦感觉如何？
You look around and you see all these soldiers here.
你环顾四周，你会看到这里全都是士兵。
You look around and you see unscalable razor wire fences around here.
你环顾四周，你会看到这里周围有不可攀爬的铁丝网。
And as an officer who got his ass whooped a couple of days ago, you feel good.
作为一名几天前大喊大叫的警官，你感觉很好。
Hell yeah.
是啊。
Come back, try it again.
回来再试试吧。
We got help now.
我们现在得到了帮助。
Try it again.
再试一次。
So as an officer, I'm like, yeah.
所以作为一名军官，我想，是的。
But as just a person, American citizen, Black man, you feel like, what the hell?
但作为一个人，美国公民，黑人，你会觉得，到底是什么？
Is this normal now?
现在这正常吗？
Is this what we got to do to prevent this from happening?
这是我们必须做的事情来防止这种情况发生吗？
It's-- man.
这是——伙计。
It's-- ugh.
这是——呃。
There's a long list somewhere of things we thought could never happen.
有一长串我们认为永远不会发生的事情。
And so many of them have been lost, struck off the list, disappeared in the last year.
去年，他们中的许多人都消失了，被从名单上除名，消失了。
This was just the latest one.
这只是最新的一次。
In my conversations with the officers, it felt like we were saying, sure, there are a lot of racists in America.
在我与警察的谈话中，感觉就像我们在说，当然，美国有很多种族主义者。
But this?
但这？
That they could storm the Capitol, that they could shut down our government, that left us in awe.
他们可以冲击国会大厦，他们可以关闭我们的政府，这让我们感到敬畏。
That was new.
那是新的。
Emmanuel Felton-- he writes about race and inequality for BuzzFeed News.
Emmanuel Felton——他为 BuzzFeed News 撰写有关种族和不平等的文章。
He checked in with Officer Jones on Inauguration Day this week.
他在本周的就职日向琼斯警官报到。
Officer Jones said he was glad they were going to inaugurate the president that the rioters did not want to see inaugurated in public, in their faces, he said.
琼斯警官说，他很高兴他们要为总统举行就职典礼，而骚乱者不想看到总统在他们面前公开就职。
But when the actual day came, he did not get to enjoy it himself.
但当真正的那一天到来时，他自己却没能享受到这一天。
He didn't see any of the speeches or the performances.
他没有看到任何演讲或表演。
He was working on the east side of the building, far from the action.
他在大楼的东侧工作，远离现场。
The actor whose voice you heard saying Officer Jones's words is Gbenga Akinagbe.
您听到说出琼斯警官的话的演员是 Gbenga Akinagbe。
You can see him in the upcoming FX Hulu series, The Old Man, with Jeff Bridges and John Lithgow.
您可以在即将推出的 FX Hulu 系列剧《老人》中看到他与 Jeff Bridges 和 John Lithgow 的合作。
Coming up, we share something with you that you need, that is missing from your life, that you may not even have noticed how much you need this.
接下来，我们将与您分享一些您需要的、您生活中缺失的东西，您可能甚至没有注意到您有多么需要它。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, The Empty Chair.
今天的节目是《空椅子》。
We have stories about things that have been lost this past year, things that seemed worth noting, as we head into whatever new chapter is going to unfold this year.
当我们进入今年即将展开的新篇章时，我们有一些关于过去一年中失去的事情的故事，一些似乎值得注意的事情。
We've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, 50 Shades of Shade.
第二幕，五十度阴影。
So here is something else that we have all lost since the pandemic.
自大流行以来，我们都失去了一些东西。
It almost feels too small to mention, but really, I think, is pretty significant.
它几乎感觉太小而无法提及，但我认为它确实非常重要。
Rachel Connolly noticed this.
雷切尔·康诺利注意到了这一点。
She's a writer in London.
她是伦敦的一名作家。
Our producer Lilly Sullivan talked to her.
我们的制片人莉莉·沙利文与她进行了交谈。
To understand why this thing Rachel's missing matters so much, let's start with a little story about two brothers.
为了理解为什么雷切尔失踪的事情如此重要，让我们从两个兄弟的小故事开始。
OK, fab.
好的，棒极了。
So we just call them Frank and Stephen.
所以我们就叫他们弗兰克和斯蒂芬。
They're slightly different ages.
他们的年龄略有不同。
Frank is the older brother, and he's kind of shorter, less handsome.
弗兰克是哥哥，他有点矮，也不那么英俊。
Stephen's kind of the handsome brother.
斯蒂芬是个英俊的哥哥。
But Frank is kind of more gregarious and charming and this kind of really funny guy.
但弗兰克更合群、更有魅力，而且是一个非常有趣的人。
So they both are kind of attractive in different ways.
所以他们都以不同的方式具有吸引力。
This happened at the beginning of the pandemic.
这发生在大流行之初。
The brothers had moved back to their hometown for lockdown in a kind of surreal second adolescence, back with their parents, social distance hanging with people they'd kind of known in high school.
兄弟俩在一种超现实的第二个青春期搬回家乡进行封锁，回到父母身边，与高中时认识的人保持社交距离。
Frank and Stephen-- not their real names-- are in their early 20s.
弗兰克和斯蒂芬（化名）都 20 岁出头。
They'd spent the day drinking outside with someone they'd grown up with.
他们和一起长大的人在外面喝酒度过了一天。
And she's called Beth.
她叫贝丝。
And Frank, the less handsome but funny one, he's always had a thing for Beth.
而弗兰克，虽然不太英俊但很有趣，他一直对贝丝情有独钟。
And he's kind of like, you know what?
他有点像，你知道吗？
I've been meaning to do this for years.
多年来我一直想这么做。
This night is going to be our night.
今晚将是属于我们的夜晚。
And he said this to Stephen.
他对斯蒂芬说了这句话。
Like, I think this is going to be the night it finally happens.
就像，我想这将是它最终发生的夜晚。
And so, they were drinking all day.
就这样，他们整天喝酒。
And Frank just got drunker and drunker and drunker because people do, do that when they want to do something, but don't want to kind of be responsible for doing it.
弗兰克越喝越醉，因为人们在想做某事时就会这样做，但又不想为此负责。
They were kind of--
他们有点——
Absolutely.
绝对的。
Rachel Connolly Yep.
雷切尔·康诺利 是的。
So he got by the end of the day totally plastered, slurring his words, just telling the same story over and over again.
所以到了一天结束时，他已经完全糊涂了，言语含糊不清，只是一遍又一遍地讲述同一个故事。
And Stephen was like, I'm just going to do the nice thing here and just bring you back, Frank.
斯蒂芬说，我只是想在这里做点好事，然后把你带回来，弗兰克。
You're too drunk, and it doesn't look good.
你喝得太醉了，看起来不太好。
Stephen tells Beth, "I'm going to be a good brother here." He takes Frank home and puts him to bed.
斯蒂芬告诉贝丝：“我会在这里成为一个好兄弟。”他带弗兰克回家并让他上床睡觉。
Which is all very charitable-seeming.
这一切看起来都很仁慈。
But once he had done this, he then went back to Beth's house-- cycled back as well, not even walked.
但一旦他做完这件事，他就回到贝丝家——也是骑自行车回去，甚至没有步行。
And guess what happens next?
猜猜接下来会发生什么？
Sex.
性。
Sex is what happened next between Beth and Stephen, the younger brother, the more handsome but less funny brother, who had not liked Beth since childhood.
接下来发生在贝丝和斯蒂芬之间的就是性爱，斯蒂芬是弟弟，更英俊但不那么有趣，从小就不喜欢贝丝。
This is what we used to call gossip.
这就是我们以前所说的八卦。
It's the way conversation used to be before the pandemic took it away from us.
这就是大流行病夺走我们之前的谈话方式。
I found Rachel because she wrote an essay about how she suddenly noticed its absence.
我找到雷切尔是因为她写了一篇文章，讲述她如何突然注意到它的缺失。
She put her finger on this thing that I've been feeling, too.
她也把手指放在了我一直有感觉的事情上。
She wrote, "This was the year when everything happened and nothing happened.
她写道：“这一年，一切都发生了，又什么都没有发生。
And I quickly got bored of talking about the news-- almost always bad-- or asking people what they'd been up to-- almost always nothing."
我很快就厌倦了谈论新闻——几乎总是坏消息——或者询问人们他们在做什么——几乎总是什么也不做。”
Just Zoom calls with the same people to have essentially the same conversation, which was like, what have you done today?
只需 Zoom 与相同的人通话即可进行基本相同的对话，就像，你今天做了什么？
How is lockdown?
封锁情况如何？
Everyone safe?
大家安全吗？
And then it would be like, so what's going on?
然后就会像，那么发生了什么事？
And everyone would be like, nothing, actually, really.
每个人都会说，实际上，真的什么都没有。
Not really much on.
不太了解。
Oh, that's so true, though, that moment when people are like, "So what's new?" And you're like, "Nothing."
哦，确实如此，当人们会问“那么有什么新鲜事吗？”的那一刻。而你却说：“没什么。”
Yeah.
是的。
Lilly Sullivan The thing about this story, Rachel doesn't even know these people.
莉莉·沙利文（Lilly Sullivan）关于这个故事的事情，雷切尔（Rachel）甚至不认识这些人。
No. Lilly Sullivan She thinks she maybe met one of the brothers at a party once.
不。莉莉·沙利文（Lilly Sullivan）她认为她可能曾经在一次聚会上见过其中一个兄弟。
She just heard this story from a friend of hers.
她刚刚从她的一个朋友那里听到了这个故事。
He's the one who knows Frank and Stephen.
他是认识弗兰克和斯蒂芬的人。
The best kind of gossip, of course, is about people you know.
当然，最好的八卦是关于你认识的人的。
But she didn't have that.
但她没有那个。
And she was so hungry for it.
她非常渴望它。
It turns out in a pinch-- or in a pandemic-- strangers will do.
事实证明，在紧要关头——或者在大流行病中——陌生人会这么做。
You can't sleep with the person your brother likes.
你不能和你哥哥喜欢的人一起睡。
You just, like--
你只是，喜欢——
Do you think it's so bad?
你觉得有那么糟糕吗？
I'm not sure.
我不确定。
I kind of think it's one of those drunk things where it's like, if it's someone's liked them from a teenager, I'm like, do they even like them, or is it just like-- is this-- is it just someone who's here and has always been here?
我觉得这是一种醉酒的感觉，如果有人从十几岁起就喜欢他们，我会想，他们是否喜欢他们，或者只是像——是这样的——只是有人在这里并且一直在这里吗？
Rachel and I are both living without kids or extended family.
雷切尔和我都没有孩子或大家庭。
We haven't lost our jobs.
我们没有失去工作。
Neither we nor our loved ones got very sick.
我们和我们所爱的人都没有病得很重。
I recognize how dumb our concerns are compared to what so many people's lives have been, but we both noticed a thing that, over the course of the pandemic, had kind of drifted away while we weren't paying attention-- the ability to socialize like a normal person.
我认识到，与许多人的生活相比，我们的担忧是多么愚蠢，但我们都注意到，在大流行期间，当我们不注意时，有一种东西已经消失了——像正常人一样社交的能力。
Talking, it turns out, is like a muscle.
事实证明，说话就像肌肉一样。
And when you don't use it much for months on end, it can atrophy.
当你连续几个月不经常使用它时，它就会萎缩。
Rachel remembers the first time she went out to meet up with more than one person.
雷切尔还记得她第一次出去见多个人的情景。
I was literally like-- the next day, I felt like I had run a marathon or had done this extraordinary feat of endurance when it was just having a conversation with more than one person for a couple of hours.
第二天，我感觉自己好像跑了一场马拉松，或者完成了一项非凡的耐力壮举，而只是与多个人交谈了几个小时。
It was like a job.
这就像一份工作。
You have to really focus on what you're saying.
你必须真正专注于你所说的内容。
You have to focus on your body language.
你必须关注你的肢体语言。
I felt this also.
我也感受到了这一点。
Friends would get in touch and want to go for a walk.
朋友们会联系并想去散步。
I'm like, mm, it sounds awkward.
我想，嗯，听起来很尴尬。
I'll see you after the pandemic.
疫情过后我们再见。
It's not that I don't want to see people.
并不是我不想见人。
There's just no fuel for conversation.
根本没有对话的动力。
Stuff from before the pandemic is too old to talk about now.
大流行之前的事情现在已经太老了，无法谈论。
So what are you supposed to talk about when there are no situations?
那么没有情况的时候应该聊什么呢？
So Rachel started doing this thing that I thought was pretty brilliant.
所以雷切尔开始做这件事，我认为这是非常出色的。
She started asking people, got any gossip about anyone?
她开始询问人们，有没有关于任何人的八卦？
And it kind of worked.
这确实有效。
Conversation was easier when you were talking about the tailor who lied about her husband's death to avoid an uncomfortable conversation about a missing shirt, or the guy who'd hooked up with his roommate and it didn't work out, and should he move now?
当你谈论那个裁缝谎报了她丈夫的死讯，以避免一场关于丢失衬衫的不舒服的谈话时，或者当你谈论那个和他的室友勾搭上但没有成功的人时，谈话会更容易，他现在应该搬走吗？
I could talk your ear off about a friend of mine whose fiancé broke up with her during couple's therapy-- remote couple's therapy over Zoom.
我可以跟你说说我的一个朋友，她的未婚夫在夫妻治疗期间与她分手了——远程夫妻通过 Zoom 进行治疗。
How my friend watched her fiancé dump her from their laptop screen, even though they were sitting side by side on their bed.
我的朋友如何看着她的未婚夫从笔记本电脑屏幕上甩掉她，尽管他们并排坐在床上。
This kind of talk, it wasn't exactly normal like before, but it was good enough, like pretty decent fake meat.
这样的说话，虽然不像以前那么正常，但也足够好了，就像是相当不错的假肉一样。
It's like that story about the two brothers.
就像两兄弟的故事一样。
It delivers the thrill of being scandalized and that demented, little bond you feel when you huddle up with someone and judge people together.
它传达了被丑闻的快感，以及当你和某人挤在一起评判别人时那种疯狂的、微弱的联系。
Clearly, the younger brother, Stephen, was wrong, the handsome snake.
显然，弟弟史蒂芬错了，那条英俊的蛇。
But also, Beth, they're brothers.
而且，贝丝，他们是兄弟。
Did you really have to do that?
你真的必须这样做吗？
But actually, hold that thought.
但实际上，保持这个想法。
There is more.
还有更多。
Lilly Sullivan Here's the rest of the story.
莉莉·沙利文 这是故事的其余部分。
Frank, the funny one, he didn't know his brother had slept with Beth.
弗兰克，有趣的是，他不知道他的兄弟和贝丝睡过。
And about a week later, he also sleeps with Beth, the crush he'd put dibs on back in, like, eighth grade.
大约一周后，他还和贝丝上床了，贝丝是他在八年级时就迷恋过的人。
He was really excited about it.
他对此感到非常兴奋。
And he was sitting with a group of friends a few days after, kind of boasting they were going to have a lockdown thing and that this has finally happened.
几天后，他和一群朋友坐在一起，吹嘘他们将要进行封锁，而这终于发生了。
And then, one of these friends was like, oh, wait, but do you know about Stephen?
然后，其中一位朋友说，哦，等等，但是你知道斯蒂芬吗？
I'm presuming you do.
我想你会的。
And Frank was like, what?
弗兰克说，什么？
And then, yeah, it was broken to him by this, and also broken in front of a kind of group of people.
然后，是的，这对他来说是破碎的，而且是在一群人面前破碎的。
And then, he kind of had to row back and be like, I wasn't serious about this.
然后，他不得不退后一步，说，我对这件事不是认真的。
I didn't mean we were going to have a lockdown thing, which is obviously always-- it's always mortifying when you have been talking earnestly about something, and then it's revealed that you didn't have a piece of information that other people has.
我并不是说我们要进行封锁，这显然总是——当你认真地谈论某件事，然后发现你没有其他人拥有的信息时，这总是令人感到羞愧。
Completely, yeah.
完全是的。
Frank called Beth and told her the whole lockdown thing was off.
弗兰克打电话给贝丝，告诉她整个封锁已经结束。
He and his brother had a big falling out.
他和他的兄弟大吵了一架。
And Beth was really sad because it turns out she actually liked Frank back the same way he liked her.
贝丝真的很伤心，因为事实证明她实际上也喜欢弗兰克，就像他喜欢她一样。
The thing with Stephen was just a drunk hookup.
和史蒂芬的事情只是一次醉酒勾搭而已。
Frank was the real thing.
弗兰克是真实存在的。
Oh, really?
哦，真的吗？
She was like, we could have had a lockdown thing.
她说，我们本来可以进行封锁。
Yeah, she was like, the lockdown thing is off the cards, but it shouldn't have been.
是的，她当时想，封锁的事情是不可能的，但它不应该是这样。
That shouldn't have been the way it went, and I should have told him.
事情不应该是这样的，我应该告诉他。
She was confiding all this in a friend, who we'll call Sarah, who then goes off and sleeps with Frank, even though Beth had just told Sarah how much she liked him.
她向一位朋友（我们称之为莎拉）吐露了这一切，然后她就离开并与弗兰克上床了，尽管贝丝刚刚告诉莎拉她有多喜欢他。
I like that everyone behaved as a human does, which is, like, everyone is self-interested.
我喜欢每个人都像人一样行事，也就是说，每个人都是自私的。
People do do things out of a vengeance and spite.
人们做事确实是出于报复和怨恨。
But that is just normal behavior.
但这只是正常行为。
It's part of life.
这是生活的一部分。
And I think when we were discussing different chapters of the story, one person would be totally appalled by the fact that someone would do something.
我认为当我们讨论故事的不同章节时，一个人会对某人会做某事这一事实感到完全震惊。
And another person would be like, yeah, no, I would do that.
另一个人会说，是的，不，我会这么做。
I'd kind of been dreading this interview, just like I dread talking to anyone these days.
我有点害怕这次采访，就像这些天我害怕和任何人说话一样。
My social skills are rusty.
我的社交能力已经生锈了。
I worried that we'd run out of things to talk about.
我担心我们会无话可说。
I had actually postponed our call for a week because of that.
因此，我实际上将我们的通话推迟了一周。
But it's really fun to talk with you about this, and I'm like, oh my God, I'm totally paying attention.
但和你谈论这个真的很有趣，我想，天哪，我完全在注意。
I'm following everything she's saying.
我正在听她说的一切。
I'm relating.
我正在联系。
As a human, yeah.
作为一个人，是的。
That was a joke.
那是个笑话。
I understood that it's a joke.
我明白这是一个玩笑。
A lot of the times, I don't.
很多时候，我不这样做。
My joke receptor was-- Lilly Sullivan It was very funny, and I enjoyed it.
我的笑话接收器是——Lilly Sullivan 这非常有趣，我很喜欢。
I did enjoy it.
我确实很享受。
I realized it's one of the most fun conversations I've had in months.
我意识到这是我几个月来最有趣的谈话之一。
It's not about shit talking people.
这不是关于那些说脏话的人。
It's about the shit talking itself and the fact that we're doing it together.
这是关于狗屎本身的谈话以及我们正在一起做这件事的事实。
I haven't even told you the last part of the story.
我什至还没有告诉你故事的最后一部分。
Beth's mad at her friend Sarah for sleeping with the guy she liked.
贝丝因为她的朋友莎拉和她喜欢的男人上床而生气。
So she tells this other friend, Sarah's a slut.
所以她告诉另一个朋友，莎拉是个荡妇。
And then, that other friend turns around and tells Sarah, Beth called you a slut.
然后，另一个朋友转过身来告诉莎拉，贝丝称你为荡妇。
This peripheral friend is like, well, I've now become part of this.
这位外围朋友就像是，好吧，我现在已经成为其中的一部分了。
She completely inserted herself into the thing.
她完全融入了这件事。
Actually, to me, this is the worst, is like inserting yourself in, just with no other--
其实对我来说，这是最糟糕的，就像把自己插进去，没有其他——
Yeah, she didn't even sleep with anyone.
是的，她甚至没有和任何人睡过。
Yeah, she just was like, I had to tell her.
是的，她只是想，我必须告诉她。
But and also she didn't know when people snitch, they always do that thing of like-- everyone does this.
但她也不知道什么时候人们会告密，他们总是会做类似的事情——每个人都会这样做。
They're always like, I simply felt she had to know.
他们总是说，我只是觉得她必须知道。
People are like--
人们就像——
That's so true.
确实如此。
My principles compelled me to deliver the information.
我的原则迫使我传递信息。
Duty bound.
责无旁贷。
I wouldn't have said anything, but I felt I had to.
我本来不会说什么，但我觉得我必须说。
It's so true.
这是真的。
I could actually see myself being the snitch in that situation.
在那种情况下，我实际上可以看到自己就是告密者。
She had the right to know.
她有权知道。
It was her right.
这是她的权利。
I could see myself doing that.
我可以看到自己正在这样做。
Just inserting myself, like the worst character in it, too, when I have no stakes in it.
只是插入自己，就像其中最糟糕的角色一样，当我在其中没有利害关系时。
Just needing to be--
只需要——
I think the snitch is quite a controversial thing because the minute I heard about the snitch, I was like, how could she just doing that, like being that person?
我认为告密者是一个相当有争议的事情，因为当我听说告密者的那一刻，我就想，她怎么能这么做，就像是那个人一样？
And then a couple other people were like, is it so bad?
然后其他几个人就说，有那么糟糕吗？
So you're the snitch.
所以你就是告密者。
OK, so that's the end.
好啦，就这样结束了。
So who's right?
那么谁是对的呢？
Who's wrong?
谁错了？
Do we care?
我们关心吗？
We do.
我们做到了。
Lilly Sullivan is a producer on our show.
莉莉·沙利文是我们节目的制片人。
For more gossip and thoughts about gossip, you can find Rachel Connolly's essay that inspired this story in Hazlitt.
有关更多八卦和关于八卦的想法，您可以在 Hazlitt 中找到 Rachel Connolly 的文章，该文章启发了这个故事。
That's where it first came out.
这就是它最初出现的地方。
It is pretty delightful.
这是相当令人愉快的。
It is called "The Year in Gossip."
它被称为“八卦年”。
Act Three, There's a German Word for That.
第三幕，有一个德语单词。
So one thing that we've lost this past year is something big, something we all took for granted, I think-- something kind of frightening in its implications.
因此，我们在过去的一年里失去了一件大事，一件我们都认为理所当然的事，我认为——它的含义有点可怕。
And that's the idea that we could come out of a national election and agree that it was legit and agree on who won.
这就是我们可以在全国选举中同意选举是合法的并就谁获胜达成一致的想法。
You're either on one side of this or the other.
你要么站在这一边，要么站在另一边。
Either you think the man in the White House today won the election fair and square, or you don't.
你要么认为今天入主白宫的人公平公正地赢得了选举，要么不这么认为。
To state it clearly and unambiguously, I and the producers of this radio program side with all the people out there who do not think the election was stolen-- including, apparently, now former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who said that people who believe otherwise were fed lies.
明确地说，我和这个广播节目的制作人站在所有不认为选举被窃取的人一边——显然包括现在的前参议院多数党领袖米奇·麦康奈尔，他说那些不相信选举的人被灌输了谎言。
But right now, millions of people believe that the wrong guy is in the White House.
但现在，数百万人认为白宫的人选不对。
A third of all voters believe there was widespread fraud, which is remarkable, right?
三分之一的选民认为存在广泛的欺诈行为，这很了不起，对吧？
Back in November, a journalist in Germany, Jochen Bittner, was watching this unfold, seeing the fake evidence that was showing up under the hashtag, #stopthesteal, reading the president's tweets about supposed election fraud.
早在 11 月，德国记者 Jochen Bittner 就在关注此事的进展，看到#stopthesteal 标签下出现的虚假证据，阅读总统关于所谓选举舞弊的推文。
And for some reason, what sprang to my mind was, then, the memory of the dolchstosslegende, or the stab in the back myth--
出于某种原因，我的脑海中突然浮现出关于 dolchstossslegende 的记忆，或者说背后刺伤的神话——
The stab in the back myth.
背后捅刀的神话。
Jochen Bittner --that I learned about in school.
Jochen Bittner——我在学校学到的。
I mean, more or less, every German would know the stab in the back myth because it was such a potent lie in German history.
我的意思是，或多或少，每个德国人都会知道背后捅刀的神话，因为这是德国历史上一个如此有力的谎言。
Stop the steal is about losing an election.
停止盗窃意味着输掉选举。
The stab in the back myth is about losing an entire war, namely World War I.
背后捅刀的神话是关于输掉整场战争，即第一次世界大战。
But there are parallels between the two lies and the way they took hold that are unsettling.
但这两个谎言及其传播方式之间存在令人不安的相似之处。
The history goes like this.
历史是这样的。
Basically, there came a point in 1918.
基本上，1918 年是一个转折点。
The United States had entered the war.
美国已参战。
Germans suffered defeats.
德国人遭受了失败。
It was clear to everybody that Germany was going to lose.
每个人都清楚德国将会失败。
In fact, Navy sailors refused to head out to be killed in what they saw as suicide missions in a war that was doomed.
事实上，海军水手们拒绝前往执行被杀的任务，他们认为这是一场注定失败的战争中的自杀式任务。
Within Germany, lots of the population was against it.
在德国国内，很多人都反对。
And so, in 1918, the Germans surrendered.
于是，1918 年，德国投降了。
The German emperor, Kaiser Wilhelm II, abdicated the throne, fled the country.
德国皇帝威廉二世退位并逃离该国。
Germany became a democracy for the first time.
德国首次成为民主国家。
But right away, starting in 1918-- coincidentally, also a global pandemic going on right then, the 1918 flu.
但从 1918 年开始，巧合的是，当时正在发生一场全球大流行，即 1918 年流感。
50 million died.
5000万人死亡。
Right then, starting in 1918, right-wing politicians and newspapers started pushing this lie, a kind of steady, angry drumbeat of coverage, saying that, in fact, they could have won the war if Jews and Social Democrats and leftists hadn't stabbed the country in the back by forcing Germany to surrender.
就在那时，从 1918 年开始，右翼政客和报纸开始散布这个谎言，一种稳定、愤怒的报道，称事实上，如果犹太人、社会民主党和左翼分子没有在背后捅刀子迫使德国投降，他们本来可以赢得战争。
Even the creators of the stab in the back myth knew that they were lying-- the likes of Luddendorff, who later supported the Nazis.
就连背后捅刀神话的创造者也知道自己在撒谎——比如后来支持纳粹的鲁登道夫。
They knew well that the war was lost, was a lost cause.
他们很清楚，战争已经失败，注定失败。
So after this myth begins, one of the things that you write is that there was no national consensus on the reality on what had happened to them.
因此，在这个神话开始之后，你写的一件事是，对于发生在他们身上的现实，全国范围内没有达成共识。
And it became impossible for a democracy to continue.
民主已经不可能继续下去了。
Yes.
是的。
That was quite true.
这是千真万确的。
And the disturbing effect of the stab in the back myth was that it did not grow weaker, but stronger over the years.
背部刺伤神话的令人不安的影响是，多年来它并没有变得越来越弱，而是越来越强。
You might have expected that eventually, people will see the truth.
您可能期望人们最终会看到真相。
They will acknowledge the facts.
他们会承认事实的。
They will believe what journalists and observers and historians tell them.
他们会相信记者、观察家和历史学家告诉他们的事情。
But the contrary is true.
但事实恰恰相反。
That's actually one of the big things that I took from an op-ed that Jochen wrote about all this back in November, in The New York Times, that a lie like this might not die off on its own.
这实际上是我从 Jochen 去年 11 月在《纽约时报》上写的一篇关于这一切的专栏文章中得到的重要信息之一，这样的谎言可能不会自行消亡。
It very well might stick around and grow in power.
它很可能会继续存在并发展壮大。
Throughout the 1920s, the idea that certain Germans were to blame for this defeat, for this big loss, was very seductive and very attractive.
在整个 20 年代，认为某些德国人应对这次失败、这一巨大损失负责的想法非常诱人，也非常有吸引力。
And I would go so far to say that if it hadn't been for the stab in the back myth, the Nazis could have never been as successful as they were.
我想说的是，如果没有背后刺伤的神话，纳粹永远不会像现在这样成功。
It was a central premise in Hitler's speeches and ideology.
这是希特勒演讲和意识形态的核心前提。
Now, to be clear, Jochen Bittner is deeply aware of the differences between America today and Germany in the 1920s.
现在，需要明确的是，约亨·比特纳 (Jochen Bittner) 深刻意识到当今的美国与 20 年代的德国之间的差异。
He is not saying that we should expect the rise of a new Adolf Hitler or something like that.
他并不是说我们应该期待新的阿道夫·希特勒的崛起或类似的事情。
But he is saying that what 1920s Germany shows us is how effective and popular an alternate reality can be in a country that's deeply polarized.
但他表示，20 年代的德国向我们展示了另一种现实在一个两极分化严重的国家中是多么有效和受欢迎。
The other point along these lines that really has stayed with me and feels relevant to today in America is that back in the '20s, people who believed this myth saw their opponents as traitors, as people who had betrayed Germany in this basic fundamental way, which then justified anything that was done against them.
沿着这条线索，真正让我印象深刻并与今天的美国相关的另一点是，早在20世纪20年代，相信这一神话的人们将他们的对手视为叛徒，视为以这种基本方式背叛德国的人，然后为针对他们所做的任何事情辩护。
So the actual accusation was that all the people responsible for the so-called stab in the back were criminals, Novemberfabrican-- November criminals, who signed the armistice in November 1918.
所以真正的指控是，所有对所谓背后捅刀子负责的人都是罪犯，Novellfabrican——1918年11月签署停战协定的十一月罪犯。
So the idea was that they were the ones who obstructed the legitimate course of history.
所以我们的想法是，他们是阻碍历史合法进程的人。
Well, when you say that, it makes me think about the protesters at the Capitol who feel like the election's been stolen.
好吧，当你这么说时，这让我想起了国会大厦的抗议者，他们感觉选举被窃取了。
Like, of course, extreme measures are called for.
当然，需要采取极端措施。
An election has been stolen from them.
他们的选举被窃取了。
But this is an interesting mindset, isn't it?
但这是一种有趣的心态，不是吗？
I mean, we know it from people who are so convinced of the righteousness of their cause that they believe that even violence is legitimate to achieve their games.
我的意思是，我们从那些对自己事业的正义性深信不疑的人那里知道这一点，他们相信即使是暴力也是合法的来实现他们的目标。
It's more or less a terrorist mindset or an extremist mindset, of course.
当然，这或多或少是一种恐怖分子心态或极端主义心态。
They feel that they are the actual defenders of the true America.
他们觉得自己是真正美国的真正捍卫者。
I mean, I read that Republicans who actually spoke out against Trump and against the stop the steal campaign, they now have to fear for their lives.
我的意思是，我读到那些实际上公开反对特朗普和反对停止盗窃运动的共和党人，他们现在不得不担心自己的生命安全。
I saw that too, the death threats against Republicans who voted to accept the election results.
我也看到了针对投票接受选举结果的共和党人的死亡威胁。
And back in the '20s in Germany, there was violence, starting with the German politician who negotiated their terms of surrender in World War I.
早在20世纪20年代的德国，就存在暴力事件，首先是在第一次世界大战中谈判投降条款的德国政客。
He was murdered, a man named Mattias Erzberger.
他被谋杀的是一个名叫马蒂亚斯·埃兹伯格的人。
One of his assassins from a first failed assassination attempt went on trial and told the judge they did it because Erzberger stabbed the country in the back.
第一次未遂暗杀行动中的一名刺杀者接受审判，并告诉法官，他们之所以这么做，是因为埃尔兹伯格在背后捅了这个国家一刀。
When the judge asked him where he got this idea, he said, the newspapers.
当法官问他这个想法从何而来时，他说是报纸。
So yeah, President Biden's in office, signing executive orders and talking about unity and trying to turn the page.
是的，拜登总统已经就任，签署了行政命令，谈论团结，并试图翻开新的一页。
But a lie this big?
但谎言有这么大吗？
You didn't lose a war.
你没有输掉一场战争。
You didn't lose an election.
你没有输掉选举。
It can stick around and fester and grow.
它可以粘在周围、溃烂和生长。
It can lead to people losing faith in the entire system of government.
它可能导致人们对整个政府体系失去信心。
In fact, Germany stopped being a democracy by the '30s.
事实上，到了三十年代，德国就不再是一个民主国家了。
And it can lead to violence.
它可能导致暴力。
Act Four, Quarantweening.
第四幕，隔离。
So today's program is about losses that are unaccounted for.
所以今天的节目是关于下落不明的损失的。
And one of our producers, Chana Joffe-Walt, has been thinking about the lives of kids during this pandemic here, how to account for what they've lost.
我们的制作人之一查纳·乔夫-沃尔特 (Chana Joffe-Walt) 一直在思考这场大流行期间孩子们的生活，以及如何解释他们失去的东西。
One kid in particular.
特别是一个孩子。
I saw him on Zoom last May.
去年五月我在 Zoom 上看到了他。
I'd gotten an email asking me to show up for some online rallies, and he was at one of them.
我收到一封电子邮件，要求我参加一些在线集会，他参加了其中一次。
The rallies were for youth programs in New York City, programs that were being considered for budget cuts.
这些集会是为了纽约市的青年计划，这些计划正在考虑削减预算。
My kid's after school program was one of them.
我孩子的课后活动就是其中之一。
Hey, everybody.
嘿，大家。
Welcome to the Fund Youth NYC Virtual Rally, man.
欢迎来到基金会青年纽约虚拟集会，伙计。
How's everybody doing over here?
这里大家都过得怎么样？
What's going on, y'all?
你们怎么了？
Man 1 Hey, throw the X up.
男人 1 嘿，把 X 举起来。
Doing well, doing well.
干得好，干得好。
Chana Joffe-Walt It's so strange going back to this video now and seeing how psyched everyone is to be on Zoom together.
Chana Joffe-Walt 现在回到这段视频，看到每个人都在 Zoom 上在一起是多么兴奋，真是太奇怪了。
There's families and staff from programs across the city.
这里有来自全市各个项目的家庭和工作人员。
And people are practically giddy to see the people we used to see in the world in here.
人们看到我们过去在世界上见过的人在这里几乎感到头晕。
Let's do a selfie really quickly!
我们快点来张自拍吧！
If folks can just look at me, I'm going to take a picture.
如果人们能看着我，我就会拍一张照片。
And then, we're going to post it on our social media.
然后，我们将把它发布在我们的社交媒体上。
So are you ready?
那么你准备好了吗？
I'd forgotten this time.
这次我忘记了。
Back then, last May, we still believed we could get our lives back.
那时，去年五月，我们仍然相信我们可以恢复生活。
People in this rally say, well, obviously, we're going to need somewhere to send our kids.
这次集会中的人们说，很明显，我们需要一个地方来送我们的孩子。
We can't just close all the places children go every day.
我们不能关闭孩子们每天去的所有地方。
A single dad says, innocently, parents need to keep their jobs.
一位单亲爸爸天真地说，父母需要保住自己的工作。
There's a program director.
有一个节目总监。
His budget is about to be cut.
他的预算即将被削减。
And he's saying, but I mean, we can't lay off hundreds of people in the middle of a pandemic.
他说，但我的意思是，我们不能在大流行期间解雇数百人。
Come on.
快点。
This is a lot of what the meeting was-- people talking about why their programs shouldn't be cut, especially parents and kids.
这就是这次会议的很多内容——人们谈论为什么他们的节目不应该被削减，尤其是家长和孩子。
The kid who has stuck with me many months later is a little boy who spoke.
几个月后一直和我在一起的那个孩子是一个会说话的小男孩。
He's sitting up straight and stiff in a blue-collared shirt, clearly nervous.
他穿着蓝领衬衫，坐得笔直，身体僵硬，显然很紧张。
All right.
好的。
Hi, everyone.
大家好。
My name is Joel Santana.
我叫乔尔·桑塔纳。
And I just want to say that--
我只想说——
At first, he caught my eye because he seemed so little.
起初，他引起了我的注意，因为他看起来很小。
Most kids speaking were teenagers.
大多数发言的孩子都是青少年。
He looked like he could be nine or 10.
他看上去只有九岁或十岁。
But when he spoke, it was clear he's older, in middle school.
但当他说话时，显然他年纪更大了，已经上中学了。
He talks like a kid who wants to sound like an adult and is eager for his vocabulary to catch up.
他说话就像一个孩子，想要听起来像个成年人，并且渴望自己的词汇量能够跟上。
Throughout my time there, I got to know people and do engaging activities with them.
在那里的整个过程中，我认识了人们并与他们一起进行了有趣的活动。
And now, I can call them my friends.
现在，我可以称他们为我的朋友。
He's looking increasingly nervous-- maybe trying not to cry?
他看起来越来越紧张——也许是在努力不哭？
I can't tell.
我不知道。
Beacon Program really helps people in a community that don't really have anywhere to go after school.
灯塔计划确实帮助了社区中放学后无处可去的人们。
It really helps with the community.
它确实对社区有帮助。
And sorry, one second.
抱歉，等一下。
He turns off his camera.
他关掉相机。
And we all just wait, looking at his black square.
我们都只是等待，看着他的黑色方块。
Is he coming back?
他回来了吗？
20 seconds pass.
20秒过去了。
We love you, Joel.
我们爱你，乔尔。
Ozzy Joel, it's Ozzy here.
奥兹·乔尔，我是奥兹。
You got this, Joel.
你明白了，乔尔。
He turns his camera back on and finishes.
他重新打开相机并完成拍摄。
I just wanted to say that-- I just want to emphasize that it would be such a loss to have some sort of cut that would sort of prohibit our-- like, our growth in the community.
我只是想说——我只是想强调，如果某种削减会阻碍我们——比如我们在社区中的成长，那将是一种巨大的损失。
And it's so detrimental that youth like me have growth.
而对于像我这样的年轻人来说，成长是多么的不利。
Again, it would be such a loss to many kids.
再说一次，这对许多孩子来说都是一种损失。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Chana Joffe-Walt Thinking about what's been lost in this past year, I've wondered about Joel.
查纳·乔夫-沃尔特（Chana Joffe-Walt） 想到过去一年中失去的一切，我对乔尔（Joel）感到好奇。
How scared he seemed of losing his after school program.
他似乎多么害怕失去课后活动。
How scared he seemed in that moment.
那一刻他显得多么害怕。
I wondered what was going on with him and if his program got cut and what that 20-second silence was about.
我想知道他到底怎么了，他的节目是否被剪掉了，以及那 20 秒的沉默是怎么回事。
Last week, I called him up, introduced myself, and asked him.
上周，我给他打电话，做了自我介绍，然后问了他。
So what was happening when you turned your camera off?
那么当你关闭相机时发生了什么？
I probably just, like, breathing in and out.
我可能只是喜欢吸气和呼气。
Yeah, deep breath out.
是的，深呼吸。
Because it's definitely a hard topic to talk about, and this was something that was definitely a big chunk of my life.
因为这绝对是一个很难谈论的话题，而且这绝对是我生活中的一大块。
And then, it was just taken away.
然后，它就被拿走了。
Joel told me he wrote out what he planned to say at the rally in advance.
乔尔告诉我，他提前写下了他计划在集会上说的话。
He practiced his comments, practiced them in different rooms in his apartment, considered if he should print them.
他练习他的评论，在他公寓的不同房间里练习，考虑是否应该打印它们。
No, he should hold them in his hand.
不，他应该把它们握在手里。
No, he should put them to the side.
不，他应该把它们放在一边。
Joel thought, somehow, if he said the right words in the exact right way, the program would come back.
乔尔认为，不知何故，如果他以完全正确的方式说出正确的话，程序就会回来。
It just felt so important that I made my point clear.
我觉得这很重要，所以我明确了我的观点。
I just think that doing this would basically ensure that I still have that part of my life.
我只是认为这样做基本上可以确保我仍然拥有我生命中的那一部分。
Joel wanted that-- was so committed to saving his after school program because there was a big thing that happened to him there, something that was really big to him and is also really small.
乔尔希望如此——他如此致力于挽救他的课后计划，因为那里发生了一件大事，对他来说非常大，但也非常小。
His mom, Saritza Lopez-Rodriguez, says you have to understand who Joel was before middle school.
他的妈妈萨里扎·洛佩兹·罗德里格斯 (Saritza Lopez-Rodriguez) 说，你必须了解乔尔在中学之前是谁。
There's a reason Joel speaks like an adult.
乔尔说话像个成年人是有原因的。
He grew up around adults.
他是在大人身边长大的。
It was always him and his mom.
总是他和他的妈妈。
When he was little, Saritza used to take him to night school if she couldn't find childcare.
当他还小的时候，如果找不到托儿所，萨莉莎就会带他去夜校。
When she went to law school, they lived in the dorms together.
当她上法学院时，他们一起住在宿舍里。
So Joel spent a lot of time around adults.
所以乔尔花了很多时间和成年人在一起。
But with kids, he just could not connect.
但对于孩子，他就是无法沟通。
His mom tried sports programs.
他的妈妈尝试了体育项目。
Joel was not a sports guy.
乔尔不是一个运动爱好者。
She got him together with her friends' kids.
她让他和她朋友的孩子在一起。
He'd hang on her leg.
他会挂在她的腿上。
She thought, maybe we need to move.
她想，也许我们需要搬家。
They're Latino.
他们是拉丁裔。
Saritza thought maybe somewhere more diverse.
萨里扎认为也许有更多样化的地方。
Maybe he just needs to feel more included.
也许他只是需要感受到更多的包容性。
So right before middle school, they moved to Queens.
所以就在中学之前，他们搬到了皇后区。
I tried to find a park with the most kids, right?
我试图找到一个孩子最多的公园，对吗？
And I was like, he's going to have to play with somebody here and socialize here.
我当时想，他必须在这里和某人一起玩耍并在这里进行社交活动。
Because there were kids playing tag, and I kept on telling him.
因为有孩子在玩捉迷藏，我就一直告诉他。
I was like, "Joel, just start running, right?
我当时想，“乔尔，开始跑步吧？
Run, and they'll include you.
跑吧，他们会把你包括在内。
They'll ask you if you want to play, right?" And he's like, "No." And you have a bunch of kids just playing tag, you know?
他们会问你想不想玩，对吗？”他说：“不。”还有一群孩子在玩捉迷藏，你知道吗？
We would stay out-- be there, like, two hours and nothing.
我们会呆在外面——在那里，大约两个小时，什么也没有。
He made this statement, and I was just like, OK.
他发表了这样的声明，我当时就想，好吧。
He goes, "Mom, you don't understand the social aspect of being a kid." And I was like, "OK?"
他说：“妈妈，你不了解作为一个孩子的社交方面。”我当时想，“好吧？”
He said those words?
这些话是他说的？
Saritza Lopez-rodriguez Yes, he literally said those words.
萨里扎·洛佩兹-罗德里格斯 是的，他确实说过这些话。
And I was just looking at him.
我只是看着他。
I'm like, ahh.
我就像，啊。
Then, Joel started middle school.
然后，乔尔开始上中学。
Saritza signed him up for the after school program, and that's when something big happened for Joel.
萨里扎为他报名参加课外活动，就在那时，乔尔发生了一件大事。
He made a friend-- two, actually, in after school-- James and Richard.
他在放学后交了一个朋友——实际上是两个朋友——詹姆斯和理查德。
And then, walking home from after school one day, Joel met a kid named Daniel, who has become his best friend.
然后有一天，乔尔放学回家时，遇到了一个名叫丹尼尔的孩子，他成了他最好的朋友。
Joel told me that could easily have never happened, the two of them crossing paths at the exact same time.
乔尔告诉我，这很可能永远不会发生，因为他们两个在同一时间相遇。
And if he would have went into his apartment in a millisecond, they probably would have not had a chance to actually meet and have a friendship.
如果他在一毫秒内进入他的公寓，他们可能就没有机会真正见面并建立友谊。
He says if Daniel went in just a millisecond sooner, they wouldn't have had a chance to meet and have a friendship.
他说，如果丹尼尔早一毫秒进去，他们就没有机会见面并建立友谊。
Honestly, I don't know.
老实说，我不知道。
Daniel really-- he definitely gave me a sense of having a best friend.
丹尼尔真的——他确实给了我一种拥有一个最好朋友的感觉。
And I just think that I haven't had that before, where a friend would come over to my house and just play video games and hang out.
我只是觉得我以前从未经历过这样的情况，朋友会来到我家玩电子游戏并闲逛。
Joel said, I'm an only child.
乔尔说，我是独生子。
This was huge for him.
这对他来说意义重大。
And after that, he threw himself into the world in a way he had never done before.
之后，他以一种从未有过的方式投入到这个世界中。
At lunchtime, he had a table of friends to sit with.
午餐时间，他有一桌朋友坐在一起。
He signed up for photography in after school.
放学后他报名参加了摄影。
He ran for president of the after school student council, and he won.
他竞选课后学生会主席，并获胜。
He saw a counselor one day, playing with devil sticks, sort of like juggling.
有一天，他看到一位辅导员正在玩魔鬼棍，有点像杂耍。
And Joel begged his mom to get him some.
乔尔恳求他妈妈给他买一些。
Saritza told me he was obsessive about mastering it.
萨里扎告诉我，他非常想掌握它。
It was the first time she'd seen him have a hobby.
她还是第一次见他有爱好。
Joel was suddenly enthusiastically responding to the people and opportunities and chance encounters around him.
乔尔突然对周围的人、机会和偶遇产生了热情的反应。
He was mastering the social aspect of being a kid.
作为一个孩子，他已经掌握了社交方面的知识。
And then, in the middle of seventh grade, with the pandemic, after school shut down.
然后，在七年级中期，由于流行病，学校停课了。
It went before regular school closed.
事情发生在普通学校放学之前。
And those first few weeks were jarring, getting home early, letting himself into the house.
最初的几周很不舒服，提前回家，让自己呆在家里。
And it didn't feel right.
感觉不太对劲。
It didn't feel normal.
感觉不正常。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I ate a snack.
我吃了点心。
It just felt blank.
只觉得一片空白。
I just found myself either just lying down on my bed and just bored.
我发现自己要么只是躺在床上，感到无聊。
It's just been an overwhelming sense of just boredom all the time.
一直以来都是一种压倒性的无聊感。
That has not gone away.
这种情况并没有消失。
Joel's mom told me sometimes she still finds him lying on the bed.
乔尔的妈妈告诉我，有时她仍然发现他躺在床上。
No phone or book, just staring at the ceiling.
没有电话或书，只是盯着天花板。
Right when his world should have been getting bigger, it's gotten so much smaller.
当他的世界本该变得更大的时候，却变得小了很多。
He goes from his bedroom to the living room to the kitchen.
他从卧室走到客厅，再到厨房。
He talks to his mom.
他和他妈妈说话。
I asked if he sees friends in online school.
我问他是否在网上学校看到朋友。
Joel said, yeah, but it's not the same.
乔尔说，是的，但不一样。
I asked if he calls his best friend, Daniel.
我问他是否给他最好的朋友丹尼尔打电话。
He says, yeah.
他说，是的。
Again, it's not the same.
再说一遍，这是不一样的。
Chana Joffe-Walt Yeah.
查纳·乔夫-沃尔特 是的。
I was just thinking, listening to you, I know there's a lot of concern about learning loss, like kids missing out on the things that you would normally learn in middle school, like developing your writing skills and learning algebra and geometry.
我只是在想，听你说，我知道人们对学习损失有很多担忧，比如孩子们错过了你通常在中学学习的东西，比如发展你的写作技能以及学习代数和几何。
Do you think there are things that are not accounted for on that list?
您认为还有哪些事情没有被列入该清单中吗？
Some of my friends-- honestly, I have lost connection with a lot of my friends because of this.
我的一些朋友——老实说，我因此与很多朋友失去了联系。
And I really wish it would be different.
我真的希望情况会有所不同。
But I think the most that's not accounted for is the social aspect that you're supposed to have.
但我认为最没有考虑到的是你应该拥有的社交方面。
That is one of the biggest losses.
这是最大的损失之一。
Yeah.
是的。
Chana Joffe-Walt There are the losses we know have been suffered by children this past year.
Chana Joffe-Walt 据我们所知，去年儿童遭受了一些损失。
Kids have lost family members.
孩子们失去了家人。
They've lost learning, stability, sometimes access to food.
他们失去了学习能力、稳定性，有时甚至无法获得食物。
There are the losses we know, but what does it mean to lose your 13th year in the world?
我们知道有一些损失，但是失去你在世界上的第 13 年意味着什么？
What would have happened for Joel?
乔尔会发生什么？
In just one year, he made a friend.
仅仅一年的时间，他就交到了一个朋友。
He learned how to make his way through a middle school cafeteria, how to look around and say, no, not that table.
他学会了如何穿过中学食堂，如何环顾四周并说，不，不是那张桌子。
Not there.
不在那里。
Yes, here.
是的，在这里。
This is the place for me.
这是适合我的地方。
He found his first hobby.
他找到了他的第一个爱好。
He learned he could ask his peers to vote for him and his ideas, and they would.
他了解到他可以要求他的同事投票支持他和他的想法，他们也会这么做。
What else might have happened?
还可能发生什么？
No one ever says you're only 39 once.
从来没有人说过你只有 39 岁。
But you really are only 13 once.
但你确实只有一次13岁。
Joel finished seventh grade at home.
乔尔在家完成了七年级学业。
He'll probably finish eighth grade at home, too.
他也可能会在家读完八年级。
And the next time he steps foot in a school building, it'll be to start high school.
下次他踏入校舍时，就是高中开始了。
He's never going back to middle school.
他再也回不去中学了。
That's gone.
那已经消失了。
Whoever he might have become, that's gone, too.
无论他可能成为谁，那也都消失了。
Chana Joffe-Walt is one of the producers of our show.
查纳·乔夫·沃尔特 (Chana Joffe-Walt) 是我们节目的制片人之一。
If you have not heard her podcast, Nice White Parents, that she made with the Serial team, it's available wherever you get your podcasts.
如果您还没有听过她与 Serial 团队制作的播客《Nice White Parents》，那么您可以在任何地方找到播客。
Credits Ira Glass Our program was produced today by Nadia Reiman.
图片来源 Ira Glass 今天我们的节目由 Nadia Reiman 制作。
The people who put our show together today include Bim Adewunmi, Elna Baker, Susan Burton, Ben Calhoun, Dana Chivvis, Sean Cole, Aviva DeKornfeld, Damien Grave, Chana Joffe-Walt, Seth Lind, Miki Meek, Lina Misitizis, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Ari Saperstein, Robyn Semien, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, Julie Whitaker, and Diane Wu.
今天节目的制作人包括 Bim Adewunmi、Elna Baker、Susan Burton、Ben Calhoun、Dana Chivvis、Sean Cole、Aviva DeKornfeld、Damien Grave、Chana Joffe-Walt、Seth Lind、Miki Meek、Lina Misitizis、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Rae Mondo、Ari Saperstein、Robyn Semien、Lilly Sullivan、Christopher斯维塔拉、马特·蒂尔尼、朱莉·惠特克和黛安·吴。
Our managing editor is Sara Abdurrahman.
我们的总编辑是萨拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sara Abdurrahman)。
Our senior editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的高级编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.
我们的执行编辑是 Emanuele Berry。
Special thanks today to Paul Hamilos, Rachel Lissy, Luis Fuentes, Lauren Yee, Harrison Nesbit, Felix, and Igor Bobic.
今天特别感谢 Paul Hamilos、Rachel Lissy、Luis Fuentes、Lauren Yee、Harrison Nesbit、Felix 和 Igor Bobic。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
You can stream our archive of over 700 episodes for absolutely free.
您可以完全免费地观看我们的 700 多集档案。
Also, there's lists of favorite shows, videos we've made over the years, links to our television program, and tons of other stuff there.
此外，还有最喜欢的节目列表、我们多年来制作的视频、电视节目的链接以及大量其他内容。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's confounder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的混杂者 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he's redoing the drywall in his house.
你知道，他正在重做他房子里的干墙。
He's got all the supplies-- trowel, sandpaper, ladder.
他准备好了所有的用品——泥刀、砂纸、梯子。
It took him a long time.
他花了很长时间。
He was covered in white dust, or as he puts it--
他身上沾满了白色的灰尘，或者用他的话来说——
By the end of the day, like, totally plastered.
到了一天结束的时候，就像，完全灰了。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
This American Life This American Life 与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。