709: The Reprieve - This American Life

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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #709 | June 26, 2020 709: The Reprieve Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.

00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 709 集 | 2020 年 6 月 26 日 709：缓刑 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。

If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.

如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。

Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。

Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.

请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。

Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass Rana Awdish is a doctor in the intensive care unit at a big hospital, Henry Ford in Detroit.

序言：序言 艾拉·格拉斯·拉纳·奥迪什是底特律亨利·福特大医院重症监护室的一名医生。

And when corona cases started arriving in March, she made up this job for herself.

当三月份新冠病例开始出现时，她为自己安排了这份工作。

She started spending hours of each day walking the fourth, fifth, and sixth floors that made up the ICU, just checking in on her co-workers, seeing how they were doing.

她开始每天花几个小时在重症监护室的四楼、五楼和六楼走来走去，只是检查她的同事，看看他们的情况如何。

Which means that maybe more than any single person in the hospital, she knows best what the staff has been going through at every stage of this pandemic.

这意味着她可能比医院里的任何人都更了解工作人员在这场大流行的每个阶段所经历的事情。

And she tries to help.

她试图提供帮助。

Even, for instance, when a unit clerk tells her that she is short on bleach and wipes.

甚至，例如，当单位职员告诉她缺少漂白剂和湿巾时。

I love you, too.

我也爱你。

Ira Glass Miki Meek on our staff is the person who first reached out to Rana and got to know her.

我们员工中的 Ira Glass Miki Meek 是第一个接触 Rana 并了解她的人。

Hey there, Miki.

嘿，米基。

Hey, Ira.

嘿，艾拉。

So one of the things that's new about coronavirus is how much death the doctors and nurses see.

因此，关于冠状病毒的新事物之一是医生和护士看到的死亡人数。

It's relentless.

这是无情的。

And Rana especially worries about the doctors who are still in training, the residents and fellows.

拉纳尤其担心仍在接受培训的医生、住院医师和研究员。

Ah, right.

啊，对了。

Henry Ford is a big teaching hospital.

亨利·福特是一家大型教学医院。

Yeah, so when Rana was a resident, she says the doctors in charge never checked in with the trainees about their feelings after a patient died.

是的，所以当拉纳还是一名住院医师时，她说负责的医生从来没有与学员了解患者死亡后的感受。

She says it's traumatic.

她说这很痛苦。

You can feel like you failed them.

你会觉得你辜负了他们。

And Rana says that two of the residents she trained with actually died by suicide.

拉纳说，与她一起训练的两名住院医生实际上是自杀身亡。

She sometimes still wonders if someone checking in might have made a difference.

有时她仍​​然想知道是否有人签到可能会有所作为。

So when she heard about the team of Henry Ford trainees who lost a patient, she made a point of stopping by to see them.

因此，当她听说亨利·福特实习生团队失去一名病人时，她特意过来看看他们。

They were all in this cramped, windowless workroom.

他们都在这个狭窄、没有窗户的工作室里。

It's on the fifth floor.

它在五楼。

How are you?

你好吗？

I was trying to write an email to you, but I got caught up.

我正想给你写一封电子邮件，但我被耽误了。

That's why we came down, because I figured it was like a better talking thing than-- we heard there was a bad day.

这就是我们下来的原因，因为我认为这比我们听说今天过得很糟糕更好。

There was a young 22-year-old woman who died, and everyone took it pretty bad.

一名 22 岁的年轻女性去世了，每个人都很难过。

There wasn't a dry eye.

没有干眼症。

Jay Lakshmikanth Anywhere.

杰伊·拉克什米坎特 任何地方。

That's a resident named Rim saying there wasn't a dry eye.

一位名叫 Rim 的居民说没有干眼症。

I'm not sure I've ever heard doctors talk like this among themselves about what it's like when a patient dies.

我不确定我是否曾听过医生们这样谈论病人死亡时的感受。

I have to say, it's interesting.

我不得不说，这很有趣。

You've played me this tape, and before this conversation with the trainees even get started, their leader, Jay Lakshmikanth, heads for the door to leave.

你给我播放了这盘磁带，在与学员的对话开始之前，他们的领导杰伊·拉克什米坎特 (Jay Lakshmikanth) 就走向门口准备离开。

And we had to kind of blocks him.

我们不得不阻止他。

You guys can chat.

你们可以聊天。

I've got to go do this thing.

我得去做这件事了。

I'm going to walk over here.

我要步行到这里来。

Jay Lakshmikanth Yeah.

杰伊·拉克什米坎特 是的。

So she stands in front of the door, and she opens up this bag of donated scrub caps that have sharks and dinosaurs on them.

于是她站在门前，打开这袋捐赠的医用帽，上面有鲨鱼和恐龙。

Did it make you too sad?

是不是让你太伤心了？

Is that why you just took yourself out of the conversation?

这就是你退出谈话的原因吗？

No, well-- Rana Awdish I feel like you need one of these, though, because I'm seeing your hair.

不，好吧——拉纳·奥迪什（Rana Awdish），不过，我觉得你需要其中一件，因为我看到你的头发。

[LAUGHING] Jay Lakshmikanth Do you know how many of those I have?

[笑] Jay Lakshmikanth 你知道我有多少个吗？

Why aren't you wearing them?

你为什么不戴它们？

Jay Lakshmikanth People keep giving them to me.

Jay Lakshmikanth 人们一直把它们送给我。

It's sort of a hint.

这算是一种暗示吧。

[LAUGHING] Miki Meek And then Rana, she turned to that resident, Rim, to get her to say more about her feelings about this patient who died.

[笑] Miki Meek 然后 Rana，她转向那位住院医生 Rim，让她更多地讲述她对这位死去的病人的感受。

They'd taken care of her for a whole month.

他们照顾了她整整一个月。

What were you sharing about the patient?

您与患者分享了什么？

Oh, no, it was just, you know-- like, she's 22.

哦，不，只是，你知道——比如，她 22 岁了。

She's just like one of us.

她就像我们中的一员。

And I was just staring at how beautiful she was.

我只是盯着她有多美丽。

Aww.

哇。

Rim Like, her eyelashes, her nails, her toenails.

边缘就像，她的睫毛，她的指甲，她的脚趾甲。

She worked in the eyelash business.

她从事睫毛生意。

She was-- like, we saw her pictures.

她就像，我们看到了她的照片。

Her mom shared her pictures with us.

她妈妈和我们分享了她的照片。

And she was so beautiful She was the hardest case for us.

她是如此美丽，她对我们来说是最困难的情况。

I know, for me, personally, I wanted to quit many times.

我知道，就我个人而言，我多次想放弃。

Many days, I would imagine the conversation with Dr. Perry.

很多天，我都会想象与佩里医生的谈话。

I would just tell him, I can't do it anymore.

我只想告诉他，我不能再这样了。

Aww.

哇。

Rim But it's almost over, so it's like--

Rim 但快结束了，所以就像——

We all have those days.

我们都有那样的日子。

We literally all have those days.

我们确实都有过这样的日子。

It's crazy what we expect of ourselves.

我们对自己的期望太疯狂了。

I've cried on rounds multiple times.

我已经在比赛中哭过很多次了。

I've had to leave to take a break to cry, and then come back.

我不得不离开去休息一下，然后再回来。

It's just really hard.

这真的很难。

And I have such a good--

而我有这样一个好——

Jay had tried to get Rim to take a day off to get a break.

杰伊曾试图让瑞姆请一天假来休息一下。

The next day was her son's seventh birthday.

第二天是她儿子的七岁生日。

But Rim didn't want to leave the rest of her team hanging.

但 Rim 不想让她团队的其他成员陷入困境。

And he said-- Jay Lakshmikanth Your son's birthday, come on.

他说—— Jay Lakshmikanth 你儿子的生日，来吧。

Yeah, I know.

是的，我知道。

It's OK.

没关系。

Jay Lakshmikanth And you miss it.

Jay Lakshmikanth 你会想念它的。

No. Rim No, it's OK.

不，Rim 不，没关系。

He doesn't wake up till 11:00 anyways.

无论如何，他直到11:00才醒来。

[LAUGHS]

[笑]

You know what seven is?

你知道七是什么吗？

Rim I got him a drone.

Rim 我给他买了一架无人机。

I got him many toys, so--

我给他买了很多玩具，所以——

Toys aren't going to replace you.

玩具不会取代你。

Do you know what seven is?

你知道七是什么吗？

It's a lucky number in Hinduism.

在印度教中这是一个幸运的数字。

In my culture, it's a very lucky number.

在我的文化中，这是一个非常幸运的数字。

[LAUGHING] Jay Lakshmikanth Hey, have you seen this room?

[笑] Jay Lakshmikanth 嘿，你见过这个房间吗？

We don't know about white people.

我们不了解白人。

We chose Henry Ford Hospital because it's in Detroit.

我们选择亨利·福特医院是因为它位于底特律。

The city is 80% Black.

这座城市80%是黑人。

Black Americans have been dying of COVID-19 at higher rates than anybody else.

美国黑人死于 COVID-19 的比率高于其他任何人。

In Michigan, they are four times more likely to die than whites.

在密歇根州，他们的死亡可能性是白人的四倍。

Henry Ford usually gets a mix of Black and white patients from all over the Midwest.

亨利·福特通常会接待来自中西部各地的黑人和白人患者。

But with the pandemic, the hospital basically turned into a huge COVID ward for the city of Detroit, and the patients in the ICU were now mostly Black.

但随着疫情的蔓延，医院基本上变成了底特律市的一个巨大的新冠病房，而重症监护室里的病人现在大多是黑人。

The staff says the majority were essential workers-- bus drivers, police officers, firefighters, sanitation workers, people from grocery stores.

工作人员表示，大多数都是重要工作人员——公交车司机、警察、消防员、环卫工人、杂货店的工作人员。

Dr. Geneva Tatem is one of the few Black doctors in the ICU and one of the senior doctors in the hospital.

日内瓦·塔特姆医生是重症监护室为数不多的黑人医生之一，也是医院的资深医生之一。

She's a pulmonologist.

她是一名肺科医生。

Her family moved to Detroit when she was 10.

她十岁时，全家搬到了底特律。

She has deep ties to the city now, and a deep awareness of what the virus has done to Black people there.

她现在与这座城市有着深厚的联系，并且深刻认识到该病毒对那里的黑人造成的影响。

I mean, I've had friends' parents, I've had multiple church members, multiple community leaders die.

我的意思是，我有朋友的父母，我有多名教会成员，多名社区领袖去世。

When I walk into the ICU and 15 out of 16 patients is a Black male between the age of 45 and 75, it's really an emotional, emotional thing.

当我走进 ICU 时，发现 16 名患者中有 15 名是年龄在 45 岁至 75 岁之间的黑人男性，这真是一件令人激动的事情。

Dr. Tatum lives alone, but because of the stress of COVID, she's talking to a therapist for the first time-- her cousin.

塔图姆医生独自生活，但由于新冠疫情带来的压力，她第一次与治疗师——她的表弟交谈。

She has way more phone calls with me than she would probably care to admit.

她给我打的电话比她愿意承认的要多得多。

I probably owe her thousands of dollars in counseling money [LAUGHS] at this point.

此时我可能欠她数千美元的咨询费[笑]。

We started recording the staff at this hospital in mid-April, because we wanted to see what it is like for them to be going for so long in this intense and difficult situation.

我们从四月中旬开始记录这家医院的工作人员，因为我们想看看他们在这种紧张而困难的情况下坚持了这么长时间是什么感觉。

Rana started recording these conversations on her iPhone for us, with everybody's permission and knowledge.

在每个人的许可和知情的情况下，Rana 开始用她的 iPhone 为我们录制这些对话。

And she sent out emails to 40 people, urging them to talk to us, and to be honest about what's really happening in the hospital and tell everything, including, quote, "where we fail at times." "Be you," she wrote.

她向 40 个人发送了电子邮件，敦促他们与我们交谈，诚实地讲述医院中发生的真实情况并讲述一切，包括引用“我们有时会失败的地方”。 “做你自己，”她写道。

"I love you."

“我爱你。”

The day in mid-April that we started talking to Rana and the doctors at Henry Ford was the very first day that the number of people admitted to the ER was fewer than the day before.

四月中旬，我们开始与拉纳和亨利福特医生交谈的那天，是急诊室收治的人数比前一天减少的第一天。

It was the very first day after their peak, and the number of COVID patients has slowly dropped since then.

这是高峰期过后的第一天，此后新冠肺炎患者数量逐渐下降。

We wanted to follow a hospital staff over time, because we wanted to see how they managed, and adapted, and adjusted, and just what it did to them personally.

我们想要长期跟踪医院工作人员，因为我们想看看他们如何管理、适应和调整，以及这对他们个人有何影响。

And so we did regular calls with nurses and doctors on the Henry Ford staff for 2 and 1/2 months.

因此，我们在 2 又 1/2 个月的时间里定期与 Henry Ford 员工的护士和医生进行通话。

And what we're going to bring you this hour are the moments that just really struck us and surprised us, of all sorts.

这一小时我们要为大家带来的是那些真正让我们震惊和惊讶的时刻。

From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.

来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。

Stay with us.

留在我们身边。

Robyn Semien is the producer on our staff who talked to Dr. Tatem, who you just heard.

罗宾·塞米恩（Robyn Semien）是我们工作人员中的制片人，他与您刚刚听到的塔特姆博士进行了交谈。

And Dr. Tatem told her this story that gives a sense of the situation at Henry Ford and in Detroit.

塔特姆博士告诉她这个故事，让她了解亨利·福特和底特律的情况。

Robyn will explain.

罗宾会解释。

In our first interview, I asked Dr. Tatem a benign question about COVID patients using FaceTime to talk to their families who can't visit the ICU because the disease is so contagious.

在我们的第一次采访中，我问了 Tatem 医生一个善意的问题，关于新冠肺炎患者使用 FaceTime 与家人交谈的问题，因为这种疾病传染性太强，他们无法前往 ICU。

And as an answer, she told me a story so harrowing, it speaks to the relentlessness and devastation of the disease on the city, its speed and cruelty.

作为回答，她给我讲了一个如此悲惨的故事，它讲述了这种疾病对这座城市的无情和破坏、其速度和残酷性。

It was about a patient in his early 40s--

这是关于一个四十岁出头的病人的——

--who had Down syndrome, who was being cared for by his sister at home.

——患有唐氏综合症，由他姐姐在家照顾。

His sister brought him in with COVID symptoms.

他的姐姐带着新冠症状把他带进来。

She was also taking care of her mother, who was also sick with COVID, so she had to drop him off at the hospital by himself.

她还要照顾同样感染了新冠病毒的母亲，所以她不得不亲自送他去医院。

We bring him in.

我们把他带进来。

He's very sick.

他病得很重。

We brought him into the ICU.

我们把他送进了重症监护室。

You know, we're gowned, and masked, and face shields, and gloves, and that physical barrier between us and him.

你知道，我们穿着长袍，戴着面具，戴着面罩和手套，还有我们和他之间的物理屏障。

And we're trying to explain to him what in the world is going on.

我们正试图向他解释世界上正在发生什么。

He doesn't understand it.

他不明白。

He just sees a bunch of people dressed this way and is scared, confused, wondering where his sibling is and what's happening, why he needs to wear oxygen.

他看到一群人穿成这样，他感到害怕、困惑，想知道他的兄弟在哪里，发生了什么事，为什么他需要戴氧气罩。

And then, that's when it dawned on us-- we have to figure out a way pretty quickly to help him understand.

然后，我们突然意识到——我们必须尽快找到一种方法来帮助他理解。

So they used FaceTime.

所以他们使用了 FaceTime。

This was one of the first times Henry Ford used it with COVID patients.

这是亨利·福特首次将其用于治疗新冠患者。

It was still early in the pandemic.

当时还处于大流行初期。

Dr. Tatem and her team got the man's sister on the phone, on video, so she could explain to her brother how sick he was and why the oxygen was necessary.

塔特姆医生和她的团队通过视频联系了该男子的妹妹，这样她就可以向她的兄弟解释他的病情有多严重以及为什么需要氧气。

And then she told the doctors what might help her brother relax.

然后她告诉医生什么可以帮助她哥哥放松。

Geneva Tatem His favorite TV channel is this.

日内瓦·塔特姆 他最喜欢的电视频道是这个。

His favorite TV program is that.

他最喜欢的电视节目是那个。

He likes this for a snack.

他喜欢这个当零食。

He likes these things for activities.

他喜欢用这些东西来活动。

And so we were able, pretty quickly, to get those things that he needed to create the environment as close to normal as it can be in an isolation room, if you will.

因此，我们能够很快地获得他所需的东西，以创造尽可能接近正常的环境，就像在隔离室中一样，如果你愿意的话。

And did that work?

那有用吗？

Did it calm him down?

这让他平静下来了吗？

Meanwhile, she says his mom was at a different hospital with COVID, and her condition was worsening.

与此同时，她说他的妈妈因感染新冠病毒而在另一家医院，她的病情正在恶化。

His sister was monitoring them both from home and calling their brother all the time to check on him and keep his spirits up.

他的姐姐在家里监视着他们，并一直打电话给他们的兄弟，检查他的情况，让他保持精神状态。

Was she giving updates to her brother about how their mom was doing?

她有向她哥哥通报他们妈妈的最新情况吗？

Or was that a bridge too far?

或者那座桥太远了？

That was a bridge too far.

那是一座太远的桥。

Robyn Semien Oh, wow.

罗宾·塞米恩 噢，哇。

So he really didn't know that his mom was sick, basically?

所以他真的不知道他妈妈病了，是吗？

No. And the sad thing in this case is actually, because the sister who was his caregiver was both taking care of him and his mother, she got ill.

不。事实上，在这个案例中，令人悲伤的是，因为照顾他的姐姐同时照顾他和他的母亲，她生病了。

The staff found this out by accident.

工作人员偶然发现了这一点。

One day, they needed the sister's help.

有一天，他们需要姐姐的帮助。

And we kept calling and couldn't get an answer.

我们一直打电话，但没有得到答复。

And then, after multiple attempts, another sibling called and said, hey, I'm so-and-so's other sister.

然后，经过多次尝试，另一个兄弟姐妹打电话来说，嘿，我是某某的另一个妹妹。

And the reason why you haven't been able to get in touch with my sister is because she has now passed away.

而你之所以联系不上我姐姐，是因为她现在已经去世了。

I'm not really sure if he knows that his sister, who is his caregiver, has passed away.

我不太确定他是否知道他的照顾者妹妹已经去世了。

Oh, my goodness.

哦，我的天啊。

Geneva Tatem Yeah, because it-- so it was devastating to us, as a team, when we heard about that.

日内瓦·塔特姆 是的，因为当我们听到这个消息时，作为一个团队，这对我们来说是毁灭性的。

Because again, this is the aftermath of what we're seeing.

因为这又是我们所看到的后果。

And to know that his sister, who spent her life making sure that he was OK, wound up dying from the very disease that we're treating him for was really, really difficult.

得知他的姐姐一生都在确保他平安无事，最终却死于我们正在治疗他的疾病，这真的非常非常困难。

And this was what we'd been seeing over and over again-- the person who gets admitted to the ICU who tells us, yeah, well, my spouse is also sick, or my daughter or son is also sick.

这就是我们一遍又一遍地看到的情况——住进重症监护室的人告诉我们，是的，好吧，我的配偶也病了，或者我的女儿或儿子也病了。

We've had instances where we've had multiple family members of just one family in our ICUs.

我们曾经遇到过这样的情况：一个家庭的多名家庭成员都住进了重症监护室。

So it's really difficult, and something I don't think any of us could have even emotionally prepared ourselves for.

所以这真的很困难，我认为我们任何人都无法在情感上做好准备。

At its peak, COVID spread through Detroit like an invisible wildfire, entire homes, neighborhoods unrecognizable afterwards.

在高峰期，新冠病毒像一场看不见的野火一样在底特律蔓延，之后整个房屋、社区都面目全非。

The man Dr. Tatem treated was moved to rehab to recover from what COVID did to his body.

塔特姆医生治疗的这名男子被转移到康复中心，以从新冠病毒对他身体造成的影响中恢复过来。

What it did to his life is different.

这对他的生活造成了不同的影响。

There's no rehab for that.

没有康复治疗。

Ira Glass Robyn Semien is a producer on our show.

Ira Glass Robyn Semien 是我们节目的制片人。

Act One, "Pod Bless America." In April, when we first started talking to the staff at Henry Ford, the intensive care unit was struggling with something they had never seen before-- all these patients who were just not getting better.

第一幕，“波德保佑美国”。四月份，当我们第一次开始与亨利·福特的工作人员交谈时，重症监护室正面临着他们以前从未见过的情况——所有这些病人都没有好转。

These were COVID patients who would either die, or they'd stay stuck on ventilators for weeks, and the staff had no idea how to get them off.

这些新冠患者要么会死亡，要么会在呼吸机上呆上几个星期，而工作人员不知道如何让他们脱离。

When that doctor, Rana Awdish-- who we heard at the beginning of the show-- would circulate through the hospital, talking to staff and checking in, they all knew that she has a very particular approach to medicine and to patient care.

当那位医生，拉娜·奥迪什（Rana Awdish）——我们在节目开始时听到的——会在医院里走动，与工作人员交谈并检查时，他们都知道她对医学和病人护理有一种非常独特的方法。

Miki Meek, welcome back.

米基·米克，欢迎回来。

Miki Meek Hey again, Ira.

米基·米克 又来了，艾拉。

So yeah, Rana's whole approach to medicine comes out of an experience she had back in 2008.

是的，Rana 的整个医学方法源自她 2008 年的一次经历。

She was a doctor here at Henry Ford, and then she landed in her own ICU as a patient.

她是亨利·福特的一名医生，然后作为病人来到自己的重症监护室。

She had multi-system organ failure and went on a ventilator.

她患有多系统器官衰竭，需要使用呼吸机。

And she told me her co-workers acted like she couldn't hear them, but she actually could.

她告诉我，她的同事表现得好像她听不到他们的声音，但她实际上能听到。

What shocked and upset me the most was overhearing a resident in the hallway say, she's trying to die on me.

最让我震惊和不安的是无意中听到走廊里的一个居民说，她想死在我身上。

Hearing in the operating room, she's circling the drain.

手术室里听到她正在绕着下水道转。

Yeah.

是的。

It was so difficult to imagine my own recovery when everyone around me was talking about me as if I was dying.

当我周围的每个人都在谈论我，好像我快要死了时，很难想象我自己会康复。

But, you know, I had said similar things.

但是，你知道，我也说过类似的话。

She's circling the drain?

她绕着下水道转？

Rana Awdish Yeah.

拉纳·奥迪什 是的。

It was a culture of bravado, and it was showing that you were untouched by suffering.

这是一种虚张声势的文化，它表明你没有受到苦难的影响。

It was that it didn't matter.

原来这并不重要。

One of the things I've always felt sort of ashamed about is that our patients have been telling us these things for years.

我一直感到羞愧的一件事是我们的病人多年来一直告诉我们这些事情。

When she recovered, she returned to her job at the hospital with a new mindset.

康复后，她带着新的心态回到了医院的工作岗位。

It was all about empathy-- that empathy would make her a better doctor, not worse, which was the opposite of her training.

这一切都与同理心有关——同理心会让她成为一名更好的医生，而不是更差的医生，这与她所受的训练相反。

She'd been taught that too much feeling clouds a doctor's judgment.

她被告知太多的感觉会影响医生的判断。

She and a small team revamped the way the whole system talks to patients, and Rana wrote a book about her experience that's now used in medical schools.

她和一个小团队改进了整个系统与患者交谈的方式，拉纳写了一本关于她的经验的书，现在在医学院使用。

But when COVID hit their ICU, it became impossible for the staff to do some of the things Rana put in place.

但当新冠病毒袭击他们的重症监护室时，工作人员就不可能完成拉纳安排的一些事情了。

Like, before COVID, when someone arrived unconscious or sedated into the ICU, they'd always ask the family, what do you think your loved one would want me to know about them?

就像在新冠疫情之前，当有人昏迷不醒或服用镇静剂进入重症监护室时，他们总是会问家人，你认为你所爱的人会让我知道关于他们的什么信息？

Families would put up photos and bring in quilts, personalize the rooms.

家人会贴上照片，带上被子，让房间变得个性化。

And the staff, they liked that.

和工作人员，他们喜欢这一点。

They really wanted to get to know the person they'd be caring for.

他们真的很想了解他们要照顾的人。

But under COVID, all that was impossible.

但在新冠肺炎疫情下，这一切都是不可能的。

Families could no longer come in and get to know the staff.

家人无法再进来认识工作人员。

I had one nurse tell me just yesterday, I feel like all of my patients are the same.

昨天，一位护士告诉我，我觉得我所有的病人都是一样的。

Miki Meek What does that mean, all the same?

米基·米克 这到底是什么意思？

In this case, they all have COVID pneumonia, they're all proned, they're all on the ventilator.

在这种情况下，他们都患有新冠肺炎，他们都处于俯卧状态，都需要使用呼吸机。

And so there was the risk of depersonalization for the patients.

因此，患者存在人格解体的风险。

She said getting to know their patients was a part of their job that they really got a lot of satisfaction out of, but they didn't totally realize that until COVID took it away.

她说，了解患者是他们工作的一部分，他们确实从中获得了很大的满足感，但他们并没有完全意识到这一点，直到新冠疫情夺走了它。

This change throughout the hospital was biggest for the nurses.

整个医院的这种变化对护士来说是最大的。

They're the ones who spend the most time with COVID patients.

他们是与新冠患者相处时间最多的人。

And our next story is about the nursing staff in Pod Four.

我们的下一个故事是关于四号舱的护理人员。

The ICU in Henry Ford is broken up into these pods.

亨利·福特的重症监护室被分成这些舱室。

Pod Four was the front line in the hospital's COVID-19 effort.

四号病房是医院抗击新冠肺炎 (COVID-19) 工作的前线。

It was the very first pod designated as all coronavirus patients before the other ICU pods also became all COVID, all the time.

这是第一个被指定为所有冠状病毒患者的隔离舱，之后其他 ICU 隔离舱也一直被指定为所有新冠患者。

Ben Calhoun spent weeks talking to the nurses in Pod Four.

本·卡尔霍恩花了几周时间与四号病房的护士交谈。

By mid-April, the nurses in Pod Four had adapted to the alternate universe of COVID-19, at least in certain ways.

到 4 月中旬，第四号机组的护士至少在某些方面已经适应了 COVID-19 的另一个世界。

What I mean-- take just the PPE.

我的意思是——只带个人防护装备。

That's the personal protective equipment they had to wear to go into COVID rooms.

这是他们进入新冠病房时必须穿戴的个人防护装备。

This was a high-stakes thing.

这是一件事关重大的事情。

At this point, people had seen 10 ICU staff get COVID.

此时，人们已经看到 10 名 ICU 工作人员感染了新冠病毒。

Two colleagues were on ventilators.

两名同事使用呼吸机。

One nurse had died.

一名护士死亡。

Some people got superstitious about "I always put on my gloves in this order." "I always wear a scrub cap under the paper cap, and then I won't get sick."

有些人迷信“我总是按照这个顺序戴手套”。 “我总是在纸帽下面戴一顶医用帽，这样我就不会生病了。”

What I didn't get about the PPE until talking to the nurses in Pod Four was the mundane, relentless, crazy-making-ness of the very gear keeping them safe.

直到与第四号隔离区的护士交谈后，我才了解到个人防护装备是保障他们安全的装备，它平凡、无情、疯狂。

This arduous ritual of rubber gloves, tie-up gowns, P100 respirators that look like gas masks, clear plastic face shields.

这个艰巨的仪式需要橡胶手套、系带长袍、看起来像防毒面具的 P100 呼吸器、透明塑料面罩。

It took five minutes to put it on to go into a room, five to eight minutes to take it off when you come out.

进入房间需要五分钟的时间戴上它，出来时需要五到八分钟才能脱掉它。

You might have to do this as many as two dozen or more times every single shift.

每个班次您可能需要执行多达两打或更多次。

How long it took to get into a room because of all the PPE is actually a good example of how COVID changed what it was like for people to do even just the basic and normal parts of their jobs.

由于所有的个人防护装备，人们需要多长时间才能进入房间，这实际上是一个很好的例子，说明新冠疫情如何改变了人们的工作方式，甚至改变了人们工作的基本和正常部分。

Evan Guffey is a nurse in Pod Four.

埃文·加菲 (Evan Guffey) 是四号组的一名护士。

He says you have these ICU rooms with windows out onto the hallway.

他说这些 ICU 病房的窗户面向走廊。

Like, all shift long, you hear people banging on the glass windows.

就像，整个轮班期间，你都会听到人们敲打玻璃窗的声音。

[SHARP BANGING ON GLASS] Because they need-- they went into the room, and they forgot their supplies to draw blood, or they forgot one medication.

[玻璃上尖锐的撞击声]因为他们需要——他们走进房间，却忘记了抽血的用品，或者忘记了一种药物。

So--

所以——

Yes, it's very irritating, but we're all doing it to each other.

是的，这很令人恼火，但我们都在互相这样做。

[LAUGHS] So there's a little bit of a boom, boom, boom-- oh, not again?

[笑]所以有一点繁荣，繁荣，繁荣——哦，不是又是吗？

Yep, yep.

是的，是的。

Ben Calhoun It was hard, in the new world of COVID, to even communicate with these patients, to explain where they were and what was happening, and to reassure them, and to connect with them in the way that they're used to, the way Rana Awdish talks about.

本·卡尔霍恩（Ben Calhoun）：在新冠疫情的新世界里，与这些患者沟通、解释他们在哪里、发生了什么、安抚他们、以他们​​习惯的方式（拉纳·奥迪什谈论的方式）与他们联系都非常困难。

They were still puzzling out the ways to do that.

他们仍在想办法做到这一点。

These patients, many of them were sedated, alone in a room with the nonstop sound of the ventilator, which is loud.

这些病人中，很多人都服用了镇静剂，独自待在一个房间里，呼吸机的声音不停，声音很大。

It's like a vacuum.

就像真空一样。

So nurses had to shout through their P100 masks-- which is like a gas mask-- and a clear plastic face shield over the roar of the ventilator.

因此，护士们不得不通过 P100 面罩（类似于防毒面具）和透明塑料面罩来大声喊叫，以掩盖呼吸机的轰鸣声。

Hey, sir, do you know where you are right now?

嘿，先生，你知道你现在在哪里吗？

You're at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit.

您在底特律的亨利·福特医院。

Do you know that?

你知道吗？

OK.

好的。

Now, it's-- really, you're speaking through your eyes, because that's really all they can see.

现在，真的，你是通过你的眼睛说话，因为这就是他们能看到的一切。

Anthony Valeri, another nurse in Pod Four.

安东尼·瓦莱里（Anthony Valeri），第四号组的另一位护士。

You've got to speak through your eyes, because they can't see it.

你必须通过你的眼睛说话，因为他们看不到。

Or you just explain to them that you're smiling.

或者你只是向他们解释你在微笑。

Think how many times I've said that.

想想我已经说过多少次了。

I said, I'm saying good morning with a smile on my face right now.

我说，我现在脸上带着微笑说早安。

You know what you're here for?

你知道你来这里的目的吗？

You're being treated for COVID-19, the coronavirus, right now, OK?

您现在正在接受 COVID-19（冠状病毒）治疗，好吗？

Are you in any pain right now?

你现在有疼痛吗？

In April, a month and a half into all of this, the nurses from Pod Four seem like people who are in the throes of a crisis, but also like people who are used to crises.

四月，这一切已经过去一个半月了，第四号基地的护士们看起来像是正处于危机的痛苦之中，但也像是习惯了危机的人。

The first time I talked to Evan, I asked how he was holding up.

我第一次和埃文谈话时，我问他现在怎么样了。

Evan Guffey I'm good, yeah.

埃文·加菲 我很好，是的。

I have a good ability to leave work at work.

我有很好的能力在工作中放下工作。

So the second I leave, I can just not think about it.

所以当我离开的时候，我就无法去想它。

But I'm holding up good.

但我坚持得很好。

Sarah Davis is another nurse in Pod Four.

莎拉·戴维斯是第四组的另一位护士。

She'd been hoping to take on extra shifts because her husband lost his job thanks to COVID.

她一直希望加班，因为她的丈夫因新冠肺炎失业了。

But you ask how she's doing, she's got the same kind of ICU nurse toughness, which I sort of grew up around.

但你问她过得怎么样，她有着和 ICU 护士一样的坚韧，我就是在这种坚韧的环境下长大的。

My mom was a neonatal ICU nurse.

我妈妈是一名新生儿重症监护室护士。

She talks like Evan, who talks like Sarah.

她说话像埃文，埃文说话像莎拉。

I think what I do and most of us do, you're in the ICU, things are hard.

我认为我所做的和我们大多数人所做的一样，你在重症监护室里，事情很艰难。

What I say is, you put your pants on and you do it.

我说的是，你穿上裤子就可以了。

You can't complain about it.

你不能抱怨它。

That's going to make it worse.

这会让情况变得更糟。

And you just-- you've got to do it.

而你只是——你必须这么做。

By May, a month later, things change.

一个月后的五月，情况发生了变化。

Now it seems likely that Pod Four patients, who have been stuck on life support for weeks, most of them would probably never recover.

现在看来，第四号基地的病人已经依靠生命维持系统维持了数周，他们中的大多数人可能永远无法康复。

Evan was used to helping patients get better, or giving them a dignified death.

埃文习惯于帮助病人康复，或者让他们有尊严地死去。

Now he felt like he was seeing too many situations that were neither.

现在他觉得自己看到了太多的情况，但事实并非如此。

The nurses had not seen this coming.

护士们没有预料到会发生这种情况。

Sarah Davis told me she'd braced herself for the surge, but nobody envisioned this part.

莎拉·戴维斯告诉我，她已经做好了迎接激增的准备，但没有人想到这一点。

You know, you go to work because you want to help people.

你知道，你去工作是因为你想帮助别人。

These patients-- any patients-- are why we go to work in the morning.

这些病人——任何病人——都是我们早上去上班的原因。

Yeah.

是的。

Sarah Davis And when we can't-- when we can't help somebody, or we're just helping them just get through the day, when a lot of this-- and I don't want this to sound the wrong way-- but we know that they're probably not going to make it out of there, right?

莎拉·戴维斯：当我们无能为力时——当我们无法帮助某人时，或者我们只是帮助他们度过这一天时，当发生很多这样的事情时——我不希望这听起来是错误的——但我们知道他们可能无法摆脱困境，对吗？

Right.

正确的。

Sarah Davis So-- and I feel like I'm a person optimistic by nature, too.

莎拉·戴维斯 所以——我觉得我也是一个天生乐观的人。

Mm-hmm.

嗯嗯。

Sarah Davis And recently, I feel that-- because I feel like I have changed.

莎拉·戴维斯 最近，我有这样的感觉——因为我觉得我已经改变了。

I'm more of like-- my husband is a realist and I'm an optimist.

我更像是——我的丈夫是一个现实主义者，而我是一个乐观主义者。

And now I feel like we're changing places.

现在我觉得我们正在换地方。

When I talk to Evan Guffey in May, he tells me about what he's struggling with the most-- that families are continuing to tell them to do everything they can to save patients, which he gets.

当我五月与埃文·加菲交谈时，他告诉我他最挣扎的事情是——家人继续告诉他们尽一切努力拯救病人，他得到了这一点。

But there's a patient who typifies what he's seeing-- a man, several underlying health issues, who's been stuck on life support for weeks.

但有一个病人就是他所看到的典型——一个男人，有几个潜在的健康问题，几周来一直靠生命维持系统维持生命。

He's heavily sedated, breathing tube down his throat.

他注射了大量镇静剂，呼吸管插在喉咙里。

Eventually, the man's kidneys give out, so he's on constant dialysis.

最终，该男子的肾脏衰竭，因此他需要不断进行透析。

His lungs also give out.

他的肺也衰竭了。

And even when they stop sedating him, he remains unresponsive.

即使他们停止给他注射镇静剂，他仍然没有反应。

It's like, what are we doing here?

就像，我们在这里做什么？

We're just continuing to make these people suffer, in a way.

在某种程度上，我们只是继续让这些人受苦。

It's tough to see those people suffering every day, hooked up to all of these different lines and tubes, and they're essentially unresponsive.

很难看到这些人每天都在受苦，连接着所有这些不同的线路和管子，而且他们基本上没有反应。

And we know if we were to cut a couple of the interventions off, they would pass away very quickly.

我们知道，如果我们切断一些干预措施，它们很快就会消失。

Mm-hmm.

嗯嗯。

Evan Guffey So I think it causes a lot of frustration with the nursing staff.

埃文·加菲（Evan Guffey）所以我认为这给护理人员带来了很大的挫败感。

Because we feel like we're prolonging the inevitable.

因为我们觉得我们正在延长不可避免的事情。

Some of the frustration got brought up yesterday.

昨天有人提出了一些挫败感。

We had one of our nurses talking with our physicians about, well, when is enough?

我们让一位护士与我们的医生讨论，嗯，什么时候就足够了？

When are we done?

我们什么时候完成？

Evan means that the caring thing would be to let them die.

埃文的意思是，关心的事情就是让他们死去。

It sounds like everyone, from what I could tell from the rounding, they're just really frustrated.

从我从四舍五入中可以看出，听起来每个人都非常沮丧。

They feel like they're torturing people now.

他们感觉自己现在正在折磨人。

Around the same time, Rana Awdish checked in with Erin Dicks, Evan and Sarah's boss.

大约在同一时间，拉纳·奥迪什 (Rana Awdish) 与埃文 (Evan) 和莎拉 (Sarah) 的老板艾琳·迪克斯 (Erin Dicks) 进行了联系。

They were standing outside the nurse's break room, talking about exactly what Evan was saying.

他们站在护士休息室外，正在谈论埃文所说的内容。

Because they feel like they're doing wrong.

因为他们觉得自己做错了。

Yeah.

是的。

Erin Dicks They feel like they're preventing the inevitable, and everything that we do is not doing anything.

艾琳·迪克斯：他们觉得自己正在阻止不可避免的事情发生，而我们所做的一切都没有做任何事情。

And they're like, this isn't right.

他们说，这是不对的。

Like, they feel-- they start to feel guilty.

就像，他们感觉——他们开始感到内疚。

Yeah.

是的。

Erin Dicks Like they're just keeping somebody alive when there's nothing we do is changing any outcome, you know?

艾琳·迪克斯：就像他们只是在维持某人的生命，而我们所做的一切都无法改变任何结果，你知道吗？

No, I completely understand that feeling.

不，我完全理解那种感觉。

You know, there's no way--

你知道，没有办法——

They talk about how Pod Four nurses are stuck in the worst position in medicine.

他们谈论第四号护士如何陷入医学界最糟糕的境地。

They're caught in the middle between patients who they worry are suffering, who are clearly dying, and their families, who are holding out hope.

他们夹在中间，他们担心病人正在遭受痛苦，显然已经快要死了，而他们的家人则抱着希望。

Because that's-- they don't understand it.

因为那是——他们不明白。

We wouldn't believe any of this if we weren't here, right?

如果我们不在这里，我们不会相信这一切，对吗？

No. No, it's hard.

不，不，这很难。

I mean, you don't.

我的意思是，你不知道。

Unless you're sitting there day in and day out and living it every day, you don't understand it.

除非你日复一日地坐在那里，每天都过着这样的生活，否则你不会理解它。

You can't have the feelings that we all have.

你不可能有我们所有人都有的感受。

And so it's--

所以它是——

I've been wondering if there's anything we should try to prepare to do differently, maybe before the next wave.

我一直在想，也许在下一波浪潮到来之前，我们是否应该尝试做一些不同的准备。

I hate to even say it.

我什至不愿意说出来。

Erin Dicks I know, I know.

艾琳·迪克斯 我知道，我知道。

Like, if there are different timelines for these conversations.

比如，这些对话是否有不同的时间表。

By "these conversations," Rana means conversations with patients' families.

拉纳所说的“这些对话”是指与患者家属的对话。

She wonders if doctors and nurses need to change the language they're using with them, when a patient isn't getting better.

她想知道当病人病情没有好转时，医生和护士是否需要改变他们所使用的语言。

We were talking about this the other day.

前几天我们正在谈论这个。

I think it's how we say things.

我认为这就是我们说话的方式。

Instead of saying-- when they're that sick, instead of saying, we've seen progress today, maybe we say, we've seen a change today.

当他们病得那么严重时，我们不会说，我们今天看到了进步，也许我们会说，我们今天看到了变化。

And this is what we've seen.

这就是我们所看到的。

Right.

正确的。

And so not to-- I don't want to instill that, like, oh my god, they're getting better, because they're still so crazy sick.

所以不要——我不想灌输这样的观念，比如，天哪，他们正在好起来，因为他们仍然病得很厉害。

But if we say it differently--

但如果我们换一种说法——

Yes, because we're so eager to give good news, right?

是的，因为我们非常渴望提供好消息，对吧？

We want to, and so we--

我们想要，所以我们——

You almost need that.

你几乎需要那个。

Rana Awdish Yeah.

拉纳·奥迪什 是的。

But sometimes, it's false.

但有时，它是假的。

Yeah, they can change so rapidly.

是的，他们可以改变得如此之快。

So I think that's the challenge.

所以我认为这就是挑战。

That same week-- this is week nine-- one of the nurses I talked to, Sarah Davis, she had a day where two patients died, and neither of them had family in the room with them.

同一周——这是第九周——我采访过的一位护士莎拉·戴维斯(Sarah Davis)，一天有两名患者死亡，而且他们的房间里都没有家人陪伴。

The first was a man who was intubated, so he couldn't speak.

第一个是一名正在插管的男子，因此无法说话。

Sarah stood with the doctor and held an iPad wrapped in a plastic bag in front of the face of this dying man as a woman said goodbye to him.

莎拉与医生站在一起，将用塑料袋包裹的 iPad 放在这位垂死的男人面前，一名妇女向他告别。

And just hearing that conversation, with that woman who was talking to the patient who couldn't speak back to her, just saying how much she loved him, and that it was a pleasure to have him, to have him in her life.

只是听到那段对话，那个女人正在与无法与她说话的病人交谈，只是说她有多么爱他，很高兴有他，有他在她的生活中。

And there was just really-- just so much sadness.

真的有太多的悲伤。

In normal times, Sarah wouldn't even be witnessing this kind of private moment.

平时，莎拉根本不会目睹这种私人时刻。

Families would come into the room.

家人会走进房间。

Doctors and nurses would leave.

医生和护士会离开。

The second death-- this was the same shift-- Sarah and others in Pod Four gathered outside the room of a man who was dying alone, and they prayed with the man's son, who was on speakerphone.

第二次死亡——这是同一个班次——莎拉和第四号舱的其他人聚集在一个孤独垂死的男人的房间外，他们和那个通过免提电话的男人的儿子一起祈祷。

Probably less than an hour after that, Sarah says, the other patient, the man with the iPad, a couple family members were supposed to be there when he died.

莎拉说，可能在那之后不到一个小时，另一名病人、那个拿着 iPad 的男子、以及几名家人在他去世时就应该在场。

But things went wrong.

但事情出了问题。

The family told the hospital, take his ventilator tube out, and we'll be there to say goodbye at 7:30.

家人告诉医院，把呼吸机管子拔掉，我们7点30分就到那里告别。

So not long before 7:30, Sarah was in the room, and he was extubated.

就在 7 点 30 分之前不久，莎拉就在房间里，他被拔掉了气管插管。

But then, this man starts dying much faster than normal, and his family is not there yet.

但随后，这个男人的死亡速度比平常快得多，而他的家人还没有到场。

So I was waiting for them to come.

所以我就等着他们来。

But while-- I was waiting for them to come and I was making him comfortable.

但是当我等待他们到来时，我正在让他感到舒服。

And I stayed with him while he died, before his family came.

在他去世期间，在他的家人到来之前，我一直陪在他身边。

And he ended up passing right before his family came.

结果他在家人来之前就去世了。

I can't stress enough how different this is from Sarah's normal job, being alone with a dying patient.

我无法充分强调这与莎拉的正常工作有多么不同，莎拉独自照顾一个垂死的病人。

Since COVID, it's common for nurses, though, in hospitals everywhere.

不过，自新冠疫情以来，这种情况在各地医院的护士中都很常见。

With this man, Sarah stood by herself, and held his hand, and stroked his head.

莎拉独自站在这个男人身边，握住他的手，抚摸他的头。

She told him he did a good job, as she stared through the window, hoping desperately that his family would appear.

她告诉他，他做得很好，同时她凝视着窗外，绝望地希望他的家人会出现。

And then I came home.

然后我回到家。

And you'd appreciate this, because you have kids.

你会很感激的，因为你有孩子。

And I thought I was OK.

我以为我还好。

And I had come home.

我已经回家了。

My kids are normally asleep.

我的孩子通常都在睡觉。

So I just peeked in the room that they were in.

所以我只是往他们所在的房间里看了一眼。

And they both were looking like they were sleeping.

而且他们俩看起来都像是在睡觉。

I was just looking at them, crying.

我只是看着他们，哭了。

[LAUGHS]

[笑]

And then they were both up.

然后他们都站起来了。

And my son was like, oh, are you sad?

我儿子说，哦，你伤心吗？

Then I start bawling my eyes out.

然后我开始痛哭流涕。

And I was like, yeah, it was a sad day.

我当时想，是的，这是悲伤的一天。

And you know, he knows what I do.

你知道，他知道我做什么。

And we called the virus "the world bug." And he asked if somebody died.

我们称这种病毒为“世界虫子”。他问是否有人死了。

And so I told him, yeah.

所以我告诉他，是的。

And just in six-year-old terms, that I was with him, and that he was comfortable.

用六岁的话说，我和他在一起，他很舒服。

And so that was probably the saddest day that I've had.

所以那可能是我度过的最悲伤的一天。

Yeah.

是的。

It just really-- it just really sucks.

真的——真的很糟糕。

Around the same time, early May, COVID cases have finally receded enough that parts of the hospital are starting to go back to normal.

大约在同一时间，五月初，新冠病例终于减少到足以让医院的部分区域开始恢复正常。

Non-COVID floors are reopening.

非新冠肺炎楼层正在重新开放。

People who've been furloughed are coming back to work.

休假的人们正在重返工作岗位。

Specialists who'd been assigned to COVID ICUs go back to their normal jobs.

被分配到新冠重症监护室的专家将返回正常工作岗位。

Even the deli reopens.

就连熟食店也重新开业。

Some people tell Rana that they're surprised to find themselves feeling upset about other parts of the hospital going back to normal-- not because they're jealous, but because it makes them feel like this awful thing they'd all gone through is being erased.

有些人告诉拉纳，他们惊讶地发现自己对医院其他部分恢复正常感到不安——不是因为他们嫉妒，而是因为这让他们觉得他们经历过的可怕事情正在被抹去。

And for the staff of Pod Four with their 16 ICU beds, they're still 100% COVID patients.

对于拥有 16 张 ICU 床位的第四号基地的工作人员来说，他们仍然是 100% 的新冠患者。

And the COVID patients are going to keep coming.

新冠肺炎患者还会不断涌入。

Rana talked to Miki about it.

拉娜和三木谈论了这件事。

I'm not seeing relief.

我没有看到缓解。

I'm seeing sadness.

我看到了悲伤。

And that's the thing that's starting to settle in, is this is ours.

这就是开始安定下来的事情，这是我们的。

The relief valve isn't coming any time soon.

安全阀不会很快出现。

Right.

正确的。

The group of, I think, doctors and nurses who are caring for these patients are going to be the group of doctors and nurses caring for these patients for the next two years.

我认为，未来两年，照顾这些患者的医生和护士将成为照顾这些患者的医生和护士。

And I don't know if we've wrapped our minds around yet.

我不知道我们是否已经想清楚了。

COVID was this brutal new normal, stretching out all the way to the horizon of the foreseeable future.

新冠疫情就是这种残酷的新常态，一直延伸到可预见的未来。

Ben Calhoun, he's one of the producers on our show.

本·卡尔霍恩，他是我们节目的制片人之一。

Coming up, OK, your dad comes off a ventilator.

快来了，好吧，你爸爸已经脱离呼吸机了。

His life has been saved.

他的命被救了。

What is the very first thing he says to you?

他对你说的第一句话是什么？

We hear what happened in one family.

我们听到一个家庭发生的事情。

That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.

稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。

This American Life.

这美国生活。

I'm Ira Glass.

我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Today's show, "The Reprieve," stories of coronavirus at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit-- not when they were busiest and things were the worst, but in the weeks since, as the number of cases steadily declined.

今天的节目“缓刑”讲述了底特律亨利·福特医院的冠状病毒故事——不是在医院最繁忙、情况最糟糕的时候，而是在那之后的几周内，病例数量稳步下降。

What you're hearing this hour is when things were less awful.

你这一小时听到的是事情没那么糟糕的时候。

I should say, before we go any further, that, of course, this past week, COVID-19 cases across the country have been on the rise, including in Michigan.

在我们进一步讨论之前，我应该说的是，当然，过去一周，全国各地的 COVID-19 病例都在增加，包括密歇根州。

Anyway, in the first half of our show, we focused mostly on the staff of the hospital.

无论如何，在我们节目的前半部分，我们主要关注的是医院的工作人员。

In this half, we turn to the people that they tried to save.

在这一部分中，我们转向他们试图拯救的人。

We've arrived at Act Two of our show-- Act Two, "Stan's Good Day."

我们已经到了节目的第二幕——第二幕“斯坦的美好一天”。

And we found out about the patient in this story from a recording made by a young doctor named Stan Linder who worked in the intensive care unit during the second year of his training at Henry Ford, studying his specialties, nephrology and critical care.

我们从一位名叫斯坦·林德（Stan Linder）的年轻医生录制的录音中了解到了这个故事中的病人，他在亨利·福特接受培训的第二年在重症监护室工作，学习他的专业、肾脏病学和重症监护。

He said that he would binge Oreos to cope with the stress.

他说他会狂吃奥利奥来应对压力。

"I am not going to make my summer body goals," he told one of our producers.

“我不会实现夏季的身体目标，”他告诉我们的一位制片人。

Anyway, our producer Emanuele Berry put this together.

无论如何，我们的制片人埃马努埃莱·贝里（Emanuele Berry）将其放在一起。

It begins with a voice memo that Stan recorded for us on his phone.

它以斯坦在手机上为我们录制的语音备忘录开始。

This is April 30, 2020.

这是 2020 年 4 月 30 日。

It's 7:30 at night, and I've just finished my last COVID ICU day.

现在是晚上 7:30，我刚刚结束了新冠重症监护室的最后一天。

I've worked the last 11 days in a row, and it's been sort of a crazy experience.

过去 11 天我连续工作，这真是一次疯狂的经历。

And today was really rough-- really rough.

今天真的很艰难——真的很艰难。

I've had some really horrible moments-- horrible moments that I will always remember.

我经历过一些非常可怕的时刻——我将永远记住这些可怕的时刻。

And I feel like I'm eventually going to have PTSD from this, which sucks.

我觉得我最终会因此患上创伤后应激障碍（PTSD），这很糟糕。

But one of my best moments in this has definitely been one of my patients-- and I will always remember her for the rest of my life.

但我在这过程中最美好的时刻之一肯定是我的一位病人——我将在余生中永远记住她。

She was young and pregnant, very along in her pregnancy-- very along.

她很年轻，还怀孕了，怀孕期间非常顺利——非常顺利。

And the first day that I met her, she was struggling to breathe-- like, really struggling to breathe.

我见到她的第一天，她呼吸困难——真的呼吸困难。

And you could tell that just by how fast she was breathing.

你可以从她呼吸的速度看出这一点。

But she was, in that same moment, comfortable.

但在那一刻，她感到很舒服。

Her face was total comfort.

她的脸上满是安慰。

It was sort of eerie to see how fast she was breathing.

看到她呼吸的速度有多快，有点奇怪。

40 to 50 times a minute-- that's very fast.

一分钟40到50次——非常快了。

That's almost one breath a second.

这几乎是一秒钟呼吸一次。

For you to inhale and exhale that quickly takes a lot of work.

对于你来说，快速吸气和呼气需要做很多工作。

It takes a lot of muscle movement to do that.

要做到这一点需要大量的肌肉运动。

Eventually, someone will tire out, and they will stop breathing.

最终，有人会疲惫不堪，停止呼吸。

Before the patient ended up intubated, I had to have her call her husband on the phone so we could have a conversation about what would happen, not only to my patient, but also her unborn child.

在病人结束插管之前，我必须让她打电话给她的丈夫，这样我们就可以讨论将会发生什么，不仅是我的病人，还有她未出生的孩子。

That's an extreme conversation to have within five minutes of meeting a person.

在与一个人见面后五分钟内进行这样的谈话是非常极端的。

And so she was on the ventilator for seven days and ended up getting extubated on that seventh day.

因此，她使用呼吸机七天，最终在第七天拔掉了插管。

And she did great for a couple hours after she got extubated.

拔管后的几个小时里她表现得很好。

And then, by noon, everything went haywire.

然后，到了中午，一切都变得混乱起来。

And she was adamant, adamant, that she would not-- she absolutely did not want the tube back in.

她坚决、坚决，她不会——她绝对不想让管子重新插进去。

And I pleaded with her, because her heart rate was up, she was breathing so fast.

我恳求她，因为她的心率加快，呼吸太快。

I thought she was going to tire out again.

我以为她又要累了。

And she was adamant.

她态度坚决。

She's like, no, I do not want that tube back in.

她说，不，我不想让那根管子插回去。

And then, two days later, she had a vaginal delivery.

两天后，她顺产了。

I have never-- she had a vaginal delivery two days after getting extubated from a ventilator for seven days.

我从来没有——她在拔掉呼吸机插管 7 天后两天就进行了阴道分娩。

That blows my mind.

这让我大吃一惊。

It blows my mind, blows my mind.

它让我大吃一惊，让我大吃一惊。

A miracle!

奇迹！

Amazing!

惊人的！

My patient survived.

我的病人活了下来。

My patients survived.

我的病人活了下来。

I had two, two patients in that room, and they both came out healthy.

我那个房间里有两个、两个病人，他们都健康了。

And a lot of my patients, especially in the beginning of all this, didn't.

我的很多病人，尤其是在这一切开始的时候，并没有这样做。

So I'm really glad I've had this experience right at the end.

所以我真的很高兴我最后有这样的经历。

What's the baby like?

宝宝是什么样的？

Francesca Miranda Aquino Well, she's-- [LAUGHS] She's a really tough baby.

弗朗西斯卡·米兰达·阿基诺 嗯，她——[笑]她是一个非常坚强的孩子。

Why?

为什么？

Francesca Miranda Aquino She's, like-- she want to be in arms all day.

弗朗西斯卡·米兰达·阿基诺 她想一整天都抱在怀里。

And if you don't do what she wants at the moment, she gets really mad, and she give you this mad face.

如果你现在不做她想做的事，她就会非常生气，然后她就会给你一张生气的脸。

And it's funny that she's-- [LAUGHS]

有趣的是她——[笑]

You don't know what I went through for you, child?

孩子，你不知道我为你经历了什么吗？

Yeah.

是的。

I'm like, OK.

我想，好吧。

Yeah, I'm like, OK, you really have a bad attitude with me.

是的，我想，好吧，你对我的态度真的很糟糕。

[LAUGHING] Emanuele Berry This is Francesca Miranda Aquino.

[笑] 埃马努埃莱·贝里 这是弗朗西斯卡·米兰达·阿基诺。

She worked as a chef at PF Chang's.

她在 PF Chang's 担任厨师。

She's originally from Puerto Rico.

她来自波多黎各。

Now she lives in Mexicantown, Southwest Detroit, with her husband, who's a preacher, their two-year-old son, and now her newborn daughter, who does not seem to appreciate what her mom went through to bring her into the world.

现在，她和传教士丈夫、两岁的儿子和刚出生的女儿住在底特律西南部的墨西哥城，女儿似乎并不感激妈妈为把她带到这个世界上所经历的一切。

Francesca remembers a few things from her time in the ICU.

弗朗西斯卡记得她在重症监护病房期间的一些事情。

She remembers how hopeless the place seemed when they wheeled her in.

她记得当他们把她推进来时，这个地方看起来是多么绝望。

It felt like breathing in death, she says.

她说，感觉就像呼吸着死亡。

She remembers how, days later, when she came to, no one else in her pod was awake.

她记得，几天后，当她苏醒时，她的舱内没有其他人醒来。

And she remembers the moment Stan talked about, where she refused to be re-intubated.

她还记得斯坦谈到的那一刻，她拒绝重新插管。

It was the morning of the 21st.

那是21号早上。

The tube had only been out for a few hours.

管子只用了几个小时。

And I remember that another doctor came in, and he told me that my heart was beating really fast and my blood pressure was really, really high.

我记得另一位医生进来了，他告诉我，我的心跳非常快，血压非常非常高。

And he told me that, really, they need to put the tube back in again, and I need to relax.

他告诉我，真的，他们需要重新插回管子，而我需要放松。

And I told him, no.

我告诉他，不。

[LAUGHS] Francesca Miranda Aquino I told him, no, you're not going to put those tubes back again.

[笑]弗朗西斯卡·米兰达·阿基诺 我告诉他，不，你不会再把这些管子放回去。

And I told him, it's just passed one hour where they took out the tubes on me, and now you want to put the tubes back on me?

我告诉他，他们拔掉我身上的管子才过去一个小时，现在你想把管子放回我身上吗？

No. You just need to give me time.

不，你只需要给我时间。

That's what I told him.

我就是这么告诉他的。

You need to give me time where my body starts reacting normal.

你需要给我时间，让我的身体开始正常反应。

And he was like, OK.

他说，好吧。

Billions and billions of people have had babies.

数十亿人生过孩子。

Millions have gotten COVID.

数百万人感染了新冠病毒。

Very few people, like Francesca, have done both at the same time.

很少有人像弗朗西斯卡一样同时做到这两点。

They decided to induce labor, and she chose to do it alone because she thought it would be too dangerous for her family to come to the ICU where everyone had COVID.

他们决定引产，而她选择独自进行，因为她认为家人都去重症监护室太危险了，因为那里每个人都感染了新冠病毒。

Remember, she'd only been off the ventilator for two days.

请记住，她才没有使用呼吸机两天。

She was incredibly weak and could barely raise her legs by herself.

她非常虚弱，几乎无法自己抬起双腿。

At this point, she's still on oxygen.

此时，她仍在吸氧。

The doctors wanted her to hold her breath and push, but breathing in general was still tough.

医生要求她屏住呼吸并用力，但总体来说呼吸仍然困难。

And then, once the baby was born, after 25 hours of labor--

然后，婴儿出生后，经过 25 个小时的分娩——

So when I had the baby, they really took the baby out of the room, and I didn't get to see my baby after three days.

所以当我生完孩子后，他们真的把孩子带出了房间，三天后我就没有见到我的孩子了。

You didn't get to see the baby for three days?

你已经三天没见到孩子了？

Francesca was still recovering from COVID and still in the ICU, so she and the baby were separated.

弗朗西斯卡仍在从新冠病毒中恢复，仍在重症监护室，因此她和婴儿被分开。

When Francesca was well enough to be moved from the ICU to the general floor, she was told she would have to wear a mask and gloves, but she could hold her child for the first time.

当弗朗西斯卡病情好转，可以从重症监护室转移到普通楼层时，她被告知必须戴上口罩和手套，但她第一次可以抱孩子了。

And I was like, oh my god, I thought I would never hold you.

我当时想，天哪，我以为我永远不会拥抱你。

But I felt really happy.

但我感觉真的很幸福。

And as soon as I was with him in the room, I called my husband on video call, and my husband started crying.

我和他一进房间，就给我丈夫打了视频电话，我丈夫开始哭了。

And he-- my husband, he's a really emotional person.

他——我的丈夫，他是一个非常情绪化的人。

And he started crying, and then he was really excited.

他开始哭，然后他真的很兴奋。

And he put on the phone my son.

他给我儿子打电话。

And my son was watching his sister.

我的儿子正在看着他的妹妹。

It was a really, really good moment.

这真是一个非常非常美好的时刻。

What's the baby's name?

宝宝叫什么名字？

Francesca Miranda Aquino Arisbeth.

弗朗西斯卡·米兰达·阿基诺·阿里斯贝斯。

Francesca is at home now.

弗朗西斯卡现在在家。

She's not working because she doesn't have childcare, but she's happy that she's no longer being poked and prodded with needles at the hospital.

她没有工作，因为她没有托儿服务，但她很高兴自己不再在医院被针扎。

Arisbeth is doing great.

阿里斯贝斯做得很好。

She's perfectly healthy.

她非常健康。

Francesca says she loves kisses from her big brother.

弗朗西斯卡说她喜欢哥哥的吻。

She's sleeping through the night and already trying to roll on her tummy.

她整晚都在睡觉，已经开始尝试趴着打滚了。

Emanuele Berry.

伊曼纽尔·贝里.

Act Three: Granger in a Strange Land Ira Glass Act Three, "Granger in a Strange Land." So Robert Granger was in Pod Four for three weeks.

第三幕：格兰杰在陌生的土地 艾拉·格拉斯 第三幕，“格兰杰在陌生的土地”。因此罗伯特·格兰杰在第四号舱待了三个星期。

He got close with one of the nurses, Sarah Davis.

他与其中一位护士莎拉·戴维斯（Sarah Davis）关系密切。

She's the nurse that you heard earlier who saw two people die in a single day, the nurse who talked about becoming less of an optimist.

她就是你之前听说过的那位护士，她目睹了两个人在一天内死亡，这位护士谈到自己变得不那么乐观了。

She had a special connection with Mr. Granger and attached a lot of hope to his case.

她与格兰杰先生有着特殊的联系，并对他的案子寄予了很大的希望。

They talked about his wife, who died of cancer in January, and how hard his family had taken it.

他们谈到了他的妻子，她在一月份因癌症去世，以及他的家人承受的痛苦。

He also talked about his grown daughter, Jocelyn.

他还谈到了他已经成年的女儿乔斯林。

And as he got sicker, Sarah really pushed him to phone Jocelyn.

当他病情加重时，莎拉确实催促他给乔斯林打电话。

Here's Sarah.

这是莎拉。

I was like, we're calling her.

我当时想，我们正在给她打电话。

No, I don't want to.

不，我不想。

I was like, we're calling her.

我当时想，我们正在给她打电话。

[LAUGHS] But what was really interesting about him and his daughter was, as he was talking to his daughter, he was being so tough, but at the same time, crying.

[笑]但他和他的女儿真正有趣的是，当他和他的女儿说话时，他非常强硬，但同时又哭了。

His wife had just passed away, not from COVID.

他的妻子刚刚去世，并非死于新冠肺炎。

And he was doing everything that he possibly could because he didn't want his daughter to lose Dad.

他正在尽其所能，因为他不想让女儿失去爸爸。

Emanuele Berry put together this story about Robert Granger and his daughter Jocelyn.

埃马努埃莱·贝里 (Emanuele Berry) 整理了这个关于罗伯特·格兰杰 (Robert Granger) 和他的女儿乔斯林 (Jocelyn) 的故事。

Jocelyn's in her 20s, and her dad's in his 60s.

乔斯林 20 多岁，她爸爸 60 多岁。

He works for the city fixing buses.

他为城市修理公共汽车工作。

And he called her one Friday and said he needed to go to the hospital.

一个星期五，他打电话给她，说他需要去医院。

I'm like, that's all I need to know.

我想，这就是我需要知道的一切。

Hung up, ran down, speeded all my way to his house, because I was scared.

挂断电话，跑下来，一路飞驰到他家，因为我很害怕。

I'm like, I think he has it.

我想，我认为他有。

He probably was scared, because I probably was driving like the dragster at Cedar Point.

他可能很害怕，因为我可能像锡达角的高速赛车一样开车。

It was to the point to where it was-- I'm worried about-- I'm like, I need to get him there, because I'm thinking-- I'm hearing all over the news that they're running out of supplies.

事情已经到了这样的地步——我担心——我想，我需要把他送到那里，因为我在想——我到处都听到他们的物资即将耗尽的消息。

And I'm like, I need to get him in there just in case he needs a ventilator.

我想，我需要把他送去那里，以防万一他需要呼吸机。

And he was like, um, you know how fast you're going?

他说，嗯，你知道你要开多快吗？

And I'm like, OK, OK, reality, reality-- and then spiked back up.

我想，好吧，好吧，现实，现实——然后又猛然回升。

And I literally just remember drifting into the emergency, because I've seen the tents.

我确实只记得自己陷入了紧急状态，因为我看到了帐篷。

I had my mask on.

我戴着面具。

He was in the back seat, just to social distance from me.

他坐在后座，与我保持社交距离。

And then, the last thing he said to me was, if I get out of here and you're taking me home, don't drive like this when we go back.

然后，他对我说的最后一句话是，如果我离开这里，你要带我回家，我们回去时不要这样开车。

But she can't take him home.

但她不能带他回家。

He has COVID, and he's taken to ICU Pod Four.

他感染了新冠病毒，被送往重症监护病房四号病房。

As the days pass, he gets worse.

日子一天天过去，他的情况越来越糟。

The medications don't seem to work.

药物似乎不起作用。

His breathing becomes more labored.

他的呼吸变得更加困难。

And then, on Jocelyn's birthday--

然后，在乔斯林生日那天——

I get a call from him saying, like, hey, I might be put on a ventilator.

我接到他的电话，说，嘿，我可能会戴上呼吸机。

And I'm like, no. No, no, no, no. Because the doctors are telling me the last thing they want to do is put them on the ventilators, because most people are not making it out.

我想，不。不，不，不，不。因为医生告诉我他们最不想做的就是让他们使用呼吸机，因为大多数人都无法挺过去。

So I'm freaking out.

所以我很害怕。

Then it turns out it was a false alarm.

后来证明这是一场虚惊。

And then, a few days later, I get a phone call.

然后，几天后，我接到一个电话。

And he just said, it's not looking so good.

他只是说，看起来不太好。

And it almost sounded like he whispered it to me, because he couldn't breathe.

听起来几乎像是他对我耳语一样，因为他无法呼吸。

One of the scariest phone calls of my life.

我一生中最可怕的电话之一。

Probably the top second.

应该是排在第二位吧

The first is when he called me to tell me my mother passed.

第一次是他打电话告诉我我母亲去世了。

And now, this was the second-worst phone call I've ever received in my life.

现在，这是我一生中接到过的第二糟糕的电话。

How do you react to that?

你对此有何反应？

Jocelyn When I say it took so much muscle to not have my voice crack because I was getting ready to sob-- I'm like, OK, Dad.

乔斯林 当我说我花了这么多的力气才能不让我的声音嘶哑，因为我正准备哭泣——我想，好吧，爸爸。

I'll talk to you soon.

我很快就会和你谈谈。

Why didn't you want your voice to crack on the phone or for your dad to hear you getting upset?

为什么你不想让你的声音在电话里沙哑或者让你爸爸听到你不高兴？

Because if-- just like my mom, if I worry, he worries.

因为如果——就像我妈妈一样，如果我担心，他也会担心。

Is that why you he said he didn't want to-- he had to keep his composure, too?

这就是为什么你他说他不想——他也必须保持冷静？

Told her that, you know, I love her, and that I'm about to go on a ventilator and I don't know what's going to happen.

告诉她，你知道，我爱她，我即将使用呼吸机，但我不知道会发生什么。

And I just told her, let the family know, and talk to our minister.

我只是告诉她，让家人知道，并与我们的部长交谈。

And they came in, and they put me on it.

他们进来了，让我上场。

This is her dad, Robert, though I'm going to call him Mr. Granger, because that's what Sarah Davis called him.

这是她的父亲，罗伯特，不过我要称他为格兰杰先生，因为莎拉·戴维斯就是这么称呼他的。

And it's just a solid dad name.

这只是一个坚实的父亲名字。

The nurses told us they often wondered what this all looked like from the patient's side.

护士告诉我们，他们经常想知道从病人的角度来看这一切是什么样子的。

Here's how it looked for Mr. Granger.

格兰杰先生的情况是这样的。

When he was rolled into the ICU, he says he felt like he was inside a fishbowl.

当他被送入重症监护室时，他说他感觉自己就像在一个鱼缸里。

Lots of windows, lots of people staring at him through those windows, including Sarah Davis.

有很多窗户，很多人透过这些窗户盯着他，包括莎拉·戴维斯。

Sarah stands out the most.

莎拉最为突出。

I just remember her, a lot of times, looking through the window and out at the nurses.

我只记得她很多次透过窗户看着护士们。

And one nurse in particular would hold up a little piece of paper and saying, we're praying for you.

特别是一位护士会举起一张小纸片说，我们为你祈祷。

As I started getting a little worse, I noticed just the doctors were-- they didn't come in at first.

当我的情况开始变得更糟时，我注意到医生们——他们一开始并没有进来。

They would just look.

他们只是看看。

They would just look through the window.

他们只会透过窗户看。

Look at me, wave, and then look at the meter, at my vitals.

看着我，挥挥手，然后看看仪表，看看我的生命体征。

What did it feel like to just have people looking?

让人们看着是什么感觉？

I didn't know what to think at first.

一开始我不知道该怎么想。

And then one doctor came in, and he sat down, and he asked me, what did I think?

然后一位医生进来了，他坐下来，问我，我怎么想？

And I say, well, I'm thinking things are not too good.

我说，好吧，我认为事情不太好。

This is when the doctors told Mr. Granger they may have to put him on a ventilator.

这时，医生告诉格兰杰先生，他们可能需要给他戴上呼吸机。

And I said, if I'm on it for a reasonable amount of time and things don't look good, take me off.

我说，如果我在这上面待了相当长的时间，但情况看起来不太好，那就让我离开吧。

Was it easy for you to make that decision, or--

你做出这个决定容易吗，或者——

No, but it's a decision I wanted to make.

不，但这是我想做的决定。

I didn't want my daughter to have to make that decision.

我不想让我的女儿做出这个决定。

Going through my head is, at that time, they didn't know whether I was going to make it or not.

当时我脑子里闪过的是，他们不知道我是否能成功。

And the only thing I can think of is, wow, we just went through losing my wife, and my daughter is losing her mother.

我唯一能想到的是，哇，我们刚刚失去了我的妻子，我的女儿也失去了她的母亲。

Now, if she lose me, she's really going to be devastated.

现在，如果她失去了我，她真的会很伤心。

Because my daughter, she's an emotional person.

因为我的女儿，她是一个感性的人。

On that phone call about the ventilator, dad was trying to protect his daughter by being tough.

在那通关于呼吸机的电话中，父亲试图通过强硬来保护女儿。

Daughter was trying to protect dad by doing the same thing.

女儿也试图通过做同样的事情来保护父亲。

But neither of them is conscious of this until Sarah, the nurse who was getting to know them both, pointed it out.

但他们俩都没有意识到这一点，直到逐渐认识他们的护士莎拉指出了这一点。

Here's Jocelyn.

这是乔斯林。

She just asked me, like, you know, how was it?

她只是问我，你知道，怎么样？

Like, how did you stay so strong?

比如，你是如何保持如此坚强的？

And I said, girl, when I hung up, I was not strong at all.

我说，姑娘，当我挂断电话的时候，我一点也不坚强。

I let it out.

我把它放出来了。

She was like, your dad literally said the same thing.

她说，你爸爸确实说过同样的话。

I was like, go figure.

我当时想，想想吧。

And that's when I realized, I usually-- my mom was the sweetest person ever, and I used to think-- I got the kind of thing where I can't say no to helping people.

就在那时我意识到，我通常——我的妈妈是有史以来最可爱的人，我曾经认为——我有一种无法拒绝帮助别人的感觉。

I used to think I got it from her.

我曾经以为我是从她那里得到的。

I got it from him.

我从他那里得到的。

And that was just-- it just made me feel more guilty.

那只是——这让我感到更加内疚。

And I'm like, wow, I really wish I took the time to get closer to you, equally as much as my mom.

我想，哇，我真的希望我能花时间靠近你，就像我妈妈一样。

For 10 days, he's on a ventilator, and she wonders if she'll ever have more time with them.

十天来，他一直戴着呼吸机，她想知道自己是否还能有更多时间陪伴他们。

Jocelyn described this thing that really stuck with me, that when you call into a hospital every day, when you cannot see or talk to your loved one, you live with a sort of picture of them in your head that you're holding onto, even though what's happening to them may be completely different than that image.

乔斯林描述了一件让我印象深刻的事情，那就是当你每天打电话到医院时，当你无法见到你所爱的人或与你所爱的人交谈时，你的脑海中就会浮现出他们的一幅画面，尽管他们身上发生的事情可能与那个画面完全不同。

There's this disconnect.

存在这种脱节。

So when she calls to check in on him a week or so in, in her head, he's sleeping on a vent.

因此，大约一周后，当她打电话询问他的情况时，在她的脑海里，他正在通风口上睡觉。

But the nurse who answers the phone says, oh, he's off the vent.

但接电话的护士说，哦，他已经关掉了。

And he was.

他确实是。

She gets him on the phone.

她给他打电话。

And then, like, you know, one of the first things he asked me when he answered the phone to tell me that he was off the ventilator?

然后，就像，你知道，当他接电话告诉我他已经关闭了呼吸机时，他问我的第一件事是什么？

He literally asked me, did I need any money?

他直接问我，需要钱吗？

I'm like, are you serious right now?

我想，你现在是认真的吗？

[LAUGHS] I'm like, no. I'm like-- and it just kind of like-- you know how someone has a personality quirk that just sums up their whole character?

[笑]我想，不。我就像——有点像——你知道一个人的性格怪癖是如何概括他们的整个性格的吗？

That was it.

就是这样。

I was like, wow.

我当时想，哇。

You literally just died and came back, and the first thing you asked is, do you need any money?

你真的死了又回来，你问的第一件事是，你需要钱吗？

I just remember calling him on April 17, which is my mom's birthday.

我只记得4月17日给他打电话，那天是我妈妈的生日。

He was still not conscious.

他仍然没有知觉。

So I asked the nurse, and I'm like, is my dad awake?

所以我问护士，我想，我爸爸醒了吗？

And she was like, no, he's sedated.

她说，不，他注射了镇静剂。

And I'm like, OK, good, because today would've been his wife's birthday.

我想，好吧，很好，因为今天是他妻子的生日。

I just want to make sure he's not sad or depressed.

我只是想确保他没有悲伤或沮丧。

After four weeks in the hospital, Mr. Granger was discharged to a rehab center.

住院四个星期后，格兰杰先生出院前往康复中心。

When he was well enough to come home from there, Jocelyn went to pick him up.

当他康复到可以从那里回家时，乔斯林去接他。

She made sure to get all her crying done in the car before she got there.

在到达那里之前，她确保在车里哭完。

Yeah, I did.

是的，我做到了。

I tried not to cry, because I hate crying in front of my dad.

我努力不哭，因为我讨厌在爸爸面前哭。

I do, too.

我也是。

[LAUGHS] Jocelyn Because I feel like-- yeah.

[笑]乔斯林 因为我觉得——是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Jocelyn I really hate crying in front of my-- I don't know what it is.

乔斯林 我真的很讨厌在我面前哭泣——我不知道那是什么。

But I don't know.

但我不知道。

I just hate crying in front of people.

我只是讨厌在人们面前哭泣。

But it's just, I really hate crying in front of my dad.

只是，我真的很讨厌在爸爸面前哭。

So I'm like, don't cry, don't cry.

所以我就说，别哭，别哭。

Like, I want my crying out in the car.

就像，我想在车里哭泣。

I was playing all of my sad reuniting songs.

我正在播放所有悲伤的重聚歌曲。

So I'm like, OK.

所以我想，好吧。

What were you playing?

你在玩什么？

Jocelyn I think-- I'll have to go through my playlist, because I played about, like, 65 songs.

乔斯林 我想——我得检查一下我的播放列表，因为我播放了大约 65 首歌曲。

Because the problem with me is I can never play a song fully.

因为我的问题是我永远无法完整地演奏一首歌。

In the middle, I'm like, OK, I'm tired of this song.

在中间，我想，好吧，我厌倦了这首歌。

[LAUGHS] Jocelyn But I do know some artists.

[笑]乔斯林但我确实认识一些艺术家。

I played some of his favorite artists, which are The Temptations, The Whispers.

我演奏了他最喜欢的一些艺术家，比如《诱惑》、《耳语》。

I played some of my mom's favorite artists, which were the Bee Gees-- which is hilarious.

我扮演了一些我妈妈最喜欢的艺术家，其中包括 Bee Gees——这很搞笑。

And when I seen him, he looked different in a good way.

当我看到他时，他看起来很不一样。

Like, my dad never had a beard before.

就像，我爸爸以前从来没有留过胡子。

So I was like, wow, you have a beard.

所以我就想，哇，你有胡子。

And he looked so thin.

而且他看上去好瘦。

Not in a bad way-- like, you could tell he lost a lot of weight.

不错——就像，你可以看出他体重减轻了很多。

And I said, I'm like, wow, if Mom could have seen you now.

我说，我想，哇，如果妈妈现在能看到你就好了。

It just felt like we just kind of pressed play.

感觉就像我们只是按下了播放键。

It's like-- all right, you know how you play a CD, and it just skips, and you're just in some random scene?

就像——好吧，你知道如何播放 CD，但它只是跳过，而你只是处于某个随机场景中？

I felt like I was just like in a random splash of happiness.

我觉得我就像在随机的幸福之中。

It just didn't happen.

它只是没有发生。

Once I got him in that car, it felt like it didn't happen.

当我把他送进车里时，感觉就像没有发生过一样。

I'm like, wow.

我想，哇。

Like, I literally have you in the car.

就像，我确实让你在车里。

And you don't-- I didn't expect you to look like this, but you look better.

而你不——我没想到你会变成这个样子，但你看起来更好了。

And then we started talking about food and just normal things we talked about.

然后我们开始谈论食物和我们谈论的正常事情。

And I was like, wow, I feel like Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin.

我当时想，哇，我感觉就像小熊维尼和克里斯托弗·罗宾。

[LAUGHS]

[笑]

How so?

怎么会这样呢？

Jocelyn It's-- OK.

乔斯林 好吧。

Every time, the end of the movie, they go to the special place where they just talk about random things, and it's called the Enchanted Forest.

每次电影结束时，他们都会去一个特殊的地方，在那里他们只是谈论随机的事情，那就是魔法森林。

And it's kind of like that whole car ride was just conversations of things he missed, things that have been going on, random things that we'd talked about before, what we've been craving to eat.

整个车程就好像只是在谈论他错过的事情、正在发生的事情、我们之前谈论过的随机事情、我们一直想吃的东西。

And it just is so amazing.

这真是太神奇了。

And I'm like, wow, I almost-- I'm so happy that I almost forgot the trauma that I just experienced.

我想，哇，我几乎——我太高兴了，我几乎忘记了我刚刚经历的创伤。

Mr. Granger's at home, but still in recovery.

格兰杰先生在家，但仍在康复中。

When I talked to him, he could walk up to 9 minutes at a time.

当我和他交谈时，他一次最多可以走9分钟。

He's hoping to make it around the block soon without a walker.

他希望很快就能在没有助行器的情况下绕过街区。

Emanuele Berry.

伊曼纽尔·贝里.

Act Four: Mr. Eastside Ira Glass Act Four, "Mr. Eastside." Some of the first COVID patients to arrive at Henry Ford were police and others who'd attended a community breakfast in early March called Police and Pancakes.

第四幕：伊斯特赛德先生 艾拉·格拉斯 第四幕，“伊斯特赛德先生”。第一批到达亨利福特医院的新冠患者中，有一些是警察，还有一些参加过三月初名为“警察和煎饼”的社区早餐会的人。

And we were especially interested in the story of that breakfast and those patients because it illustrates the scale of loss outside the hospital walls, the scale of loss in the city of Detroit.

我们对那份早餐和那些病人的故事特别感兴趣，因为它说明了医院围墙外的损失规模，底特律市的损失规模。

Aaron Foley is from the city.

亚伦·弗利 (Aaron Foley) 来自这座城市。

He used to work as the city's chief storyteller, a position in the mayor's office that focuses on Detroiters telling their own narratives.

他曾经担任该市的首席故事讲述者，该职位在市长办公室中负责底特律人讲述自己的故事。

He has this story of the breakfast, and of one man in particular who ended up at Henry Ford.

他有一个关于早餐的故事，特别是一个最终加入亨利·福特的人的故事。

I'm going to take you to the East Side of Detroit for a minute, which is hard for me to do as a West Sider, but I'll let it slide, because I want to tell you the story of someone who embodies everything the city's East Side is made of, Marlowe Stoudamire.

我将带你们去底特律东区一分钟，这对我作为西区人来说很难做到，但我会顺其自然，因为我想告诉你们一个体现了底特律东区一切的人的故事，马洛·斯塔德迈尔。

The East Side is were some of the first Black Detroiters were able to legally purchase homes, and that includes some of Detroit's best attractions, like Belle Isle, which is something like our Central Park.

东区是第一批黑人底特律人能够合法购买房屋的地方，其中包括底特律的一些最佳景点，例如贝尔岛，就像我们的中央公园一样。

But it also includes ZIP code 48205, which, in addition to diehard loyalists, has had one of the highest crime rates in the city.

但它还包括邮政编码 48205，除了顽固的忠诚者之外，这里也是该市犯罪率最高的地区之一。

The policing in that ZIP code, and in the rest of the city, included so much excessive force that the Detroit Police Department, the DPD, was put under a consent decree for years.

该邮政编码区以及该市其他地区的治安执法过度使用武力，以至于底特律警察局 (DPD) 多年来一直处于同意令之下。

And ever since, police have been trying to establish a better relationship with the community.

从那时起，警方一直在努力与社区建立更好的关系。

The Police and Pancakes Breakfast was part of that.

警察和煎饼早餐就是其中的一部分。

The precinct there, the Ninth Precinct, held the breakfast to highlight the progress that they'd made and to try to get more voices in the conversation about police, like young people, pastors, and business owners.

那里的辖区，即第九辖区，举办了早餐会，以强调他们所取得的进展，并试图在关于警察的对话中获得更多的声音，比如年轻人、牧师和企业主。

It was at Fisher Magnet Upper Academy-- a table in the entryway for name tags, and long buffet tables where heated trays of hash browns, eggs, and, of course, pancakes are waiting.

那是在费舍尔磁力高等学院——入口处有一张桌子，上面放着名牌，还有长长的自助餐桌，上面放着加热过的薯饼、鸡蛋，当然还有煎饼。

About 100 people were at the opening session-- police officers, of course, but also residents, representatives of the mayor's office, state legislators, and some high-achieving high school students, like senior Harley James.

大约有 100 人参加了开幕式——当然有警察，但也有居民、市长办公室代表、州议员，以及一些成绩优异的高中生，比如高年级学生哈雷·詹姆斯 (Harley James)。

He's wearing a suit on a school day.

他在上学日穿着西装。

His principal texted him the night before asking if he could come.

他的校长前一天晚上给他发短信询问他是否可以来。

He's a good public speaker, with a full ride to Michigan State this fall.

他是一位出色的公共演讲家，今年秋天将全程前往密歇根州立大学。

When he arrived, the crowd was exactly what he expected it would be.

当他到达时，人群正如他所预料的那样。

A lot of old people.

很多老人。

Aaron Foley [LAUGHS]

亚伦·福利[笑]

It felt like one of them events that don't nobody go to.

感觉就像是一场没有人参加的活动。

But like, I didn't expect no high schoolers to be there.

但我没想到那里没有高中生。

It wasn't barely any high schoolers there.

那里几乎没有高中生。

It wasn't something a teenager would go to just like-- if they were just like, oh, let's go to that.

这不是青少年会喜欢的事情——如果他们只是想，哦，我们就这么做吧。

It was just, like, all grown people there.

那里的人都是成年人。

Letty Azar, who works in the Mayor's Office handling community affairs on the East Side, was speaking that day.

当天，在市长办公室负责东区社区事务的莱蒂·阿扎尔发表了讲话。

When she arrived, she saw Harley and gave him a big hug, not surprised that he'd be out of the classroom for an event like this.

当她到达时，她看到了哈雷并给了他一个大大的拥抱，对于他会离开教室参加这样的活动并不感到惊讶。

I mean, the kid can network like nobody's business.

我的意思是，这孩子可以像任何人一样建立人际网络。

He's an incredible young man.

他是一个令人难以置信的年轻人。

So--

所以——

She's looking around the crowd to see who's here, looking around at all the different police, worried that the message of the breakfast won't come across.

她环顾人群，看看谁在这里，环顾四周不同的警察，担心早餐的信息不会被传达。

And then I saw Marlowe, and that was a big reassurance that, in fact, it was going to be a good day and a great event.

然后我看到了马洛，这是一个很大的保证，事实上，这将是美好的一天和伟大的事件。

Marlowe is a community staple in Detroit.

马洛是底特律社区的主要人物。

He had been tapped to help organize this event and host one of the portions of the breakfast as well.

他被任命帮助组织这次活动并主持早餐的一部分。

Letty worked with him a lot last year, side-by-side in intense community meetings where he put people at ease and got their trust.

去年，莱蒂与他合作了很多次，在紧张的社区会议中并肩工作，他让人们感到轻松并赢得了他们的信任。

But she hadn't seen him in a few months.

但她已经几个月没有见到他了。

But I remember him walking through the entry door, and he just-- he gave me the biggest hug and lifted me right off my feet.

但我记得他走进大门，他给了我最大的拥抱，把我从脚上抬起来。

And we were both so excited to do this together that morning.

那天早上我们都很兴奋能一起做这件事。

And I was kind of reminded of that, the minute I saw his face-- that any concerns we had about how successful that day would be just went away once you saw Marlowe and got that hug.

当我看到他的脸的那一刻，我想起了这一点——一旦你看到马洛并得到那个拥抱，我们对那天能否成功的任何担忧都会消失。

One of the other people Marlowe ran into was my friend, Adam Hollier.

马洛遇到的其他人之一是我的朋友亚当·霍利尔。

We went to high school together.

我们一起上高中。

Now he's a state senator, representing part of the East Side.

现在他是一名州参议员，代表东区的一部分。

So he's always at events like the pancake breakfast.

所以他总是参加像煎饼早餐这样的活动。

But today, he wasn't giving out any hugs.

但今天，他没有给予任何拥抱。

I was taking COVID-19 very seriously.

我非常认真地对待 COVID-19。

People were, like, foot tapping or elbow bumping, but I wasn't.

人们会用脚打拍子或碰肘，但我没有。

I was trying to keep my distance with folks, just because my mother had recently got through chemo, and I was operating under an abundance of caution throughout this process.

我试图与人们保持距离，只是因为我的母亲最近刚刚完成化疗，而我在整个过程中都非常谨慎。

And then he saw Marlowe, and he forgot all that.

然后他看到了马洛，他就忘记了这一切。

Nobody has a quick interaction with Marlowe Stoudamire.

没有人能与马洛·斯塔德迈尔进行快速互动。

I mean, that's a guy that makes you feel like you matter, right?

我的意思是，这个人让你觉得自己很重要，对吧？

A good friend of mine was teasing him-- like, Marlowe's that hustle guy who found his way to work in the system, not on the outside of it.

我的一个好朋友在取笑他——就像，马洛是那个在体制内而不是在体制外工作的忙碌的人。

He's just like, hey, I need five turkeys, or I need to get these kids from this practice to this practice.

他就像，嘿，我需要五只火鸡，或者我需要让这些孩子从这个练习到这个练习。

And then, all of a sudden, you need a referee.

然后，突然之间，你需要一名裁判。

It's like, well, where are you going to get the referee?

就像，那么，你要去哪里找裁判呢？

You just call Marlowe.

你只要打电话给马洛就可以了。

Everybody has a story about Marlowe, and Marlowe seemed to know everybody who was trying to make life better for Black Detroit.

每个人都有一个关于马洛的故事，马洛似乎认识每个努力让黑人底特律生活更美好的人。

He'd host these people on a makeshift talk show he did on Facebook Live.

他会在 Facebook Live 上临时举办脱口秀节目来招待这些人。

I want to talk to you about a special guest that I have today.

我想和你们谈谈今天邀请的一位特别嘉宾。

She's killing it right now, in a major way.

她现在正在很大程度上杀死它。

Brittany Rhodes-- yeah, that's her-- is the founder of Black Girl MATHgic, all right?

布列塔尼·罗兹——是的，就是她——是 Black Girl MATHgic 的创始人，好吗？

It's "math" and "magic." Put them together--

这是“数学”和“魔法”。把它们放在一起——

I first met Marlowe when we were both invited to speak at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology-- for a panel about Detroit, of course.

我第一次见到马洛是在我们都受邀在麻省理工学院演讲时——当然，是为了一个关于底特律的小组。

I had just started working for the mayor's office as chief storyteller, and I was getting some backlash because the mayor is white, and I'm not.

我刚刚开始在市长办公室担任首席故事讲述者，我受到了一些强烈反对，因为市长是白人，而我不是。

I had a long career as a journalist, and the mayor hired me during an election year.

我有很长的记者生涯，市长在选举年雇用了我。

People said I sold out.

人们说我卖完了。

I heard rumors about me that I was just hired on to finesse the mayor's image.

我听到关于我的传言说我只是被雇佣来修饰市长形象的。

And because of that, I didn't know who in Detroit I could trust.

正因为如此，我不知道在底特律我可以信任谁。

That very first time I met him, Marlowe sensed something was wrong with me during that trip to Boston.

我第一次见到他时，马洛在波士顿之行中就感觉到我有些不对劲。

So he got me to open up.

所以他让我敞开心扉。

He was disarming, and I shared with him some of the mixed emotions I was having about what people were saying about me back home.

他让我放下了戒备，我和他分享了我对家乡人们对我的评价所产生的复杂情绪。

He told me, and I quote, "That really pisses me the fuck off that people would say that about you.

他告诉我，我引述道：“人们这么说你，真让我生气。

And if anybody has anything to say about it, we're going to deal with them." I never forgot that.

如果有人对此有什么意见，我们将与他们打交道。”我从未忘记过这一点。

Marlowe told me to "fuck 'em"-- his words.

马洛告诉我“操他们”——他的话。

He told me that folks are rooting for me, folks are watching me, folks are wanting me to do well, and that he was excited for me and he was counting on me.

他告诉我，人们支持我，人们关注我，人们希望我表现出色，他为我感到兴奋，并且指望我。

Just weeks after the breakfast, Marlowe Stoudamire would become the first person in Detroit publicly identified as dying from the virus.

早餐后几周，马洛·斯塔德迈尔就成为底特律第一个被公开确认死于该病毒的人。

Yo, yo, yo, good morning, Detroit.

哟，哟，哟，早上好，底特律。

Good morning.

早上好。

This is Marlowe Stoudamire with another edition of Saturday Morning Coffee, at another location, as you will see and find out in a few minutes.

这是马洛·斯塔德迈尔（Marlowe Stoudamire），他在另一个地点主持另一版《周六早间咖啡》，几分钟后您就会看到并发现。

Here he is the day after the Police and Pancakes Breakfast, discussing the event on his makeshift talk show, which he hosted every Saturday on Facebook Live.

警察和薄煎饼早餐会结束后的第二天，他在他的临时脱口秀节目中讨论了这一事件，该节目由他每周六在 Facebook Live 上主持。

I had the privilege of being invited by Justin Kimpson at the Ford Resource and Engagement Center-- shout out to Justin-- over on the East Side to facilitate a conversation between the community and the Detroit Police Department.

我有幸受到贾斯汀·金普森（Justin Kimpson）的邀请，在东区的福特资源和参与中心（向贾斯汀大声喊叫），以促进社区和底特律警察局之间的对话。

And it was called Police and Pancakes.

它的名字叫《警察和煎饼》。

And the cool thing about it was is that they brought in the different police and different community stakeholders, and the whole conversation was how to create a better community experience with the Detroit Police Department.

最酷的事情是，他们引入了不同的警察和不同的社区利益相关者，整个对话的主题是如何与底特律警察局创造更好的社区体验。

On that video, he also talked about his health.

在那段视频中，他还谈到了自己的健康状况。

This was before COVID really hit Detroit.

这是在新冠疫情真正袭击底特律之前。

It wasn't on most people's minds.

大多数人都没有想到这一点。

And he chalked it up to his lifestyle-- hustling, grinding, always going hard, 24/7.

他把这归因于他的生活方式——忙碌、磨砺、永远努力、24/7。

I ran into one of my frat brothers over the weekend, last weekend.

上周末，我遇到了我的一位兄弟会兄弟。

And he said, man, I really like the stuff that you're doing, the moves you're making out here, and all these other different things.

他说，伙计，我真的很喜欢你正在做的事情，你在这里所做的动作，以及所有其他不同的事情。

But one of the things that he talked about was-- he said, make sure you take care of yourself.

但他谈到的一件事是——他说，一定要照顾好自己。

He said, you need to find a way to have self-care.

他说，你需要找到一种自我保健的方法。

And what's interesting is that this week was a week where I felt bad.

有趣的是，这周是我感觉很糟糕的一周。

I had a few health challenges.

我遇到了一些健康挑战。

I had a procedure done this week.

我这周做了一个手术。

And I realized that I hadn't been taking care of myself.

我意识到我没有照顾好自己。

So I need to make some adjustments--

所以我需要做出一些调整——

No one knows exactly how COVID started spreading through Detroit, but law enforcement was hit hard in the beginning, and dozens of officers were at Police and Pancakes.

没有人确切知道新冠病毒是如何开始在底特律传播的，但执法部门一开始就受到了沉重打击，警察和煎饼店有数十名警察。

At its height, more than 500 DPD employees were quarantined to contain the spread-- about 1/5 of the force.

在高峰时期，超过 500 名 DPD 员工（约占总人数的 1/5）被隔离以遏制疫情传播。

As COVID spread through Michigan, I remember looking at what people in Detroit were sharing on Facebook.

随着新冠疫情在密歇根州蔓延，我记得查看过底特律的人们在 Facebook 上分享的内容。

There are a lot of requests for prayer.

有很多祈祷请求。

But there are a lot of jokes, too-- some about how Vernors, the popular ginger ale, was all Detroiters needed to beat this deadly virus.

但也有很多笑话，其中一些是关于广受欢迎的姜汁汽水弗诺斯如何成为底特律人战胜这种致命病毒所需要的一切。

After Police and Pancakes, the Detroit Health Department began letting attendees know that they may have been exposed to the virus.

继《警察和煎饼》之后，底特律卫生部开始让与会者知道他们可能已经接触过该病毒。

People started wondering if they were carriers and who they might be passing it on to.

人们开始怀疑自己是否是携带者，以及可能会将病毒传染给谁。

Harley had left Police and Pancakes and went back to school.

哈利离开了警察和煎饼店，回到了学校。

Letty left for another community event in District 4.

莱蒂前往第四区参加另一场社区活动。

Adam went to mingle with some pretty big names.

亚当去和一些相当大的人物打交道。

As soon as I left the breakfast, I went over to the Joe Biden office opening, the Joe Biden for President piece.

早餐一结束，我就去了乔·拜登办公室开幕式，即乔·拜登竞选总统的作品。

And so I was there with the LG--

所以我和 LG 一起在那里——

The lieutenant governor.

副州长。

Adam Hollier --Representatives Yancey and Tate, and former governor Blanchard as we kicked off the office.

亚当·霍利尔（Adam Hollier）——众议员扬西（Yancey）和泰特（Tate）以及前州长布兰查德（Blanchard）在我们启动办公室时。

And I drove up to Cornell and then came back.

我开车去了康奈尔大学然后又回来了。

And that Monday night, we had the big Joe Biden rally at Renaissance.

那个星期一晚上，我们在文艺复兴时期举行了大型乔·拜登集会。

And that was the last big event that I had gone to.

那是我参加的最后一次大型活动。

But at that same moment, I bump into Cory Booker, and Kamala Harris, and a host of Congressional members, and I'm with the governor.

但就在同一时刻，我遇到了科里·布克、卡玛拉·哈里斯和许多国会议员，而我和州长在一起。

When I got the call, maybe a week later, that Marlowe had tested positive, it was like, man, god, I just hope I didn't give somebody COVID-19.

大概一周后，当我接到电话说马洛的检测结果呈阳性时，我当时就想，天啊，我只是希望我没有把 COVID-19 传染给别人。

And when you look back at those moments, it was all very scary, because you're like, well, when, how, if?

当你回顾那些时刻时，一切都非常可怕，因为你会想，嗯，什么时候，如何，如果？

Do I have it?

我有吗？

He didn't get sick.

他没有生病。

Marlowe once worked at Henry Ford as community and diversity manager, and later, director of international business strategy.

马洛曾在亨利·福特担任社区和多元化经理，后来担任国际业务战略总监。

When he got there in March, he was one of the first patients treated for COVID-19 in Pod Four in the ICU.

当他于 3 月份到达那里时，他是 ICU 四号病房中第一批接受 COVID-19 治疗的患者之一。

His time there was short.

他在那里的时间很短。

He died on March 24.

他于 3 月 24 日去世。

Someone from work, a mutual friend, called Letty with the news.

同事、一位共同的朋友给莱蒂打电话通报了这个消息。

Was he the first person you knew that had passed from it, or--

他是你认识的第一个从中去世的人吗，或者——

He was.

他是。

But interestingly, three hours later, I got a call on a DPD friend who had passed away.

但有趣的是，三个小时后，我接到了一位去世的 DPD 朋友的电话。

That's Jonathan Parnell, who was one of our DPD captains.

那是乔纳森·帕内尔，我们的 DPD 队长之一。

And I've known his family for some time.

我认识他的家人有一段时间了。

So he was a great guy, very well-respected police officer and member of the community.

所以他是一个很棒的人，非常受人尊敬的警察和社区成员。

So it was Marlowe and Recon that day, and then the next day two, more.

所以那天是马洛和侦察兵，然后是第二天，还有更多。

Then, the next day, three more.

然后，第二天，又是三个。

And that week of March that Marlowe passed away was-- I hope to never have to live anything like that again.

马洛去世的三月那一周——我希望再也不用过那样的生活了。

But it was just unbelievable, the number of calls, and texts, and people you knew that you worked with, you prayed with, you ate with, you grew up with, that you would see at community meetings, that you realize you're just never going to see again.

但这真是令人难以置信，电话、短信的数量，以及你认识的那些与你一起工作、一起祈祷、一起吃饭、一起长大的人，你会在社区会议上见到他们，你意识到你再也见不到了。

We lost so many valuable souls in this city.

我们在这座城市里失去了那么多宝贵的灵魂。

And to come out of this pandemic-- they'd be the first people you'd turn to to say, all right, how do we get everybody-- how do we help rebuild some momentum?

为了摆脱这场大流行——他们将是你首先会向他们说，好吧，我们如何让每个人——我们如何帮助重建一些动力？

And they're not there.

但他们不在那里。

Over the next few hours on that day, tributes started to pour in across social media about Marlowe, about how Detroit lost a giant, a champion, whatever your preferred term may be, and there was now a void that couldn't be filled.

在那天接下来的几个小时里，社交媒体上开始纷纷涌入对马洛的悼念，关于底特律如何失去了一个巨人、一个冠军，无论你喜欢什么术语，现在出现了一个无法填补的空白。

Who do you call now when you need advice or when you need mentorship?

当您需要建议或指导时，您现在会打电话给谁？

Who calls you when you need to be checked on?

当您需要检查时谁给您打电话？

Who among us did he leave, and what would he be doing now in this moment when racial inequities have been laid bare, not just by the virus, but also by the killing of George Floyd?

他离开了我们当中的谁？在种族不平等不仅因病毒，而且因乔治·弗洛伊德被杀而暴露无遗的时刻，他会做什么？

In Detroit, another name you hear at the demonstrations these days is Aiyana Stanley-Jones.

在底特律，这些天你在示威活动中听到的另一个名字是艾亚娜·斯坦利·琼斯。

She was a seven-year-old girl from the East Side who was killed in a police raid while she slept on a couch back in 2010.

她是一名来自东区的 7 岁女孩，2010 年她睡在沙发上时在一次警察突袭中被杀。

Adam Hollier-- my friend, the state rep-- says Marlowe would be jumping in right now to help realize the goals of Black Lives Matter, wherever the biggest need is.

我的朋友、州众议员亚当·霍利尔 (Adam Hollier) 表示，无论哪里有最大的需求，马洛都会立即介入，帮助实现“黑人生命也是命”的目标。

Oh, Marlowe?

哦，马洛？

I mean, Marlowe is the type of person who would have been in the forefront.

我的意思是，马洛是那种站在最前沿的人。

But he'd also have been someone that white people would have been reaching out to, right?

但他也是白人会接触的人，对吧？

So I have gotten a number of calls and texts from my well-intentioned, caring white friends who were like, hey, just checking in on you.

所以我接到了很多善意、关心的白人朋友打来的电话和短信，他们说，嘿，只是来看看你。

Thinking about you.

想你。

Marlowe would have been the king of getting those kind of things, right?

马洛本来就是获得这些东西的国王，对吧？

There would have been a host of people reaching out to him.

会有很多人向他伸出援手。

And they'd say, well, how can I be helping?

他们会说，好吧，我能提供什么帮助吗？

He was like, well, you can do these three things, right?

他说，好吧，你可以做这三件事，对吧？

He'd say, I've got this organization that is doing this work.

他会说，我有这个组织正在做这项工作。

You can donate.

你可以捐款。

Your business could hire more Black people.

您的企业可以雇用更多黑人。

You can do these things.

你可以做这些事情。

And I think people are now willing to say that Black Lives Matter.

我认为人们现在愿意说“黑人的命也是命”。

What they aren't willing to say is how much they value them, right?

他们不愿意说的是他们有多重视他们，对吗？

How much do they matter?

它们有多重要？

He would have been uniquely situated to have those conversations with people.

他处于与人们进行这些对话的独特位置。

James Feagin IV is another one of those connectors in Detroit who I know knows everybody.

詹姆斯·费金四世 (James Feagin IV) 是底特律的另一位联络人，据我所知，他认识所有人。

Anytime I see him out, he's in a blazer and a button-up shirt.

每当我看到他出去时，他总是穿着西装外套和纽扣衬衫。

But now--

但现在——

Do I have to be in "sound bite, I'm on the air" mode?

我必须处于“原声片段，我正在直播”模式吗？

Or can I just talk?

或者我可以谈谈吗？

Just talk.

只是说话。

James Feagin Iv All right.

詹姆斯·费金四世 好吧。

Because yeah, I'm in gym shorts on my patio right now.

因为是的，我现在在我的露台上穿着运动短裤。

I'm not on right now.

我现在没在。

That's fine.

没关系。

Both James and Marlowe are around 40.

詹姆斯和马洛都在 40 岁左右。

They both grew up on the East Side during that chaotic time in Detroit when crack started to ravage the city.

他们都在底特律东区长大，当时正是毒品开始肆虐底特律的那段混乱时期。

They both built their careers in Detroit, dedicated to Detroit.

他们都在底特律建立了自己的职业生涯，并致力于底特律。

[EXHALES] You know, this was a question I started thinking about the other day.

[呼气]你知道，这是我前几天开始思考的一个问题。

And it was tough, because I'm still mourning.

这很艰难，因为我仍在哀悼。

And a lot of us are.

我们很多人都是如此。

But the sad irony that Marlowe's last act was at a Police and Pancakes breakfast on the Far East Side, trying to foster positive-- I'm sorry.

但讽刺的是，马洛的最后一幕是在远东区的警察和煎饼早餐会上，试图培养积极的态度——我很抱歉。

[SOBS] Positive relations with young black males and the police.

[SOBS] 与年轻黑人男性和警察的积极关系。

That's what's missing right now, you know?

这就是现在所缺少的，你知道吗？

[SOBS]

[抽泣]

There's a lot of us who may have had negative experiences with police, but we also got police in our family, friends.

我们很多人可能都有过与警察打交道的负面经历，但我们的家人、朋友中也有警察。

If we could create more forums like that, then it would help everybody.

如果我们可以创建更多这样的论坛，那么这会对每个人都有帮助。

Because our goal is that everybody, number one, stays alive, and number two, has a chance to contribute to a better Detroit and a better Black community.

因为我们的目标是每个人，第一，活下去，第二，都有机会为更好的底特律和更好的黑人社区做出贡献。

And I can just see him right now being that person that would be as angry as we all are about what happened to George Floyd, but also have some real relationships to point to and lean on.

我现在可以看到他就像我们所有人一样对乔治·弗洛伊德的遭遇感到愤怒，但也有一些真正的关系可以指出和依靠。

When I talked to Marlowe's wife, Valencia, she didn't want to discuss the final days of her husband's life and says their two children are still adjusting to life without their dad.

当我与马洛的妻子瓦伦西亚交谈时，她不想讨论她丈夫生命的最后几天，并说他们的两个孩子仍在适应没有父亲的生活。

But she told me this story about an overseas trip they took just this past fall.

但她给我讲了他们去年秋天去海外旅行的故事。

We went to Rome in October.

我们十月份去了罗马。

And literally, we saw the Colosseum.

从字面上看，我们看到了罗马斗兽场。

And he was, like, tearing up.

他就像是在流泪。

And I'm like, oh, babe, you know, what's wrong?

我说，哦，宝贝，你知道，出了什么问题吗？

And he's like, you just don't understand.

他就像，你只是不明白。

I'm not supposed to be here.

我不应该在这里。

This was what I saw in textbooks.

这是我在课本上看到的。

This was not real.

这不是真的。

And here's what had me to believe that it wasn't.

这就是让我相信事实并非如此的原因。

(VOICE BREAKING) It wasn't real for me as a Black male.

（破音）作为一名黑人男性，这对我来说并不真实。

It wouldn't be my reality to see it.

看到它不会是我的现实。

And it was overwhelming to him.

这对他来说是压倒性的。

I'm so glad we got to have that experience.

我很高兴我们能有这样的经历。

But he just-- it was very important for him that he beat the odds.

但他只是——战胜困难对他来说非常重要。

And it was important to him that not only did he beat them, but all of the young men that looked like him behind him had an opportunity to do the same.

对他来说重要的是，他不仅击败了他们，而且他身后所有看起来像他的年轻人都有机会做同样的事情。

And I think that was the most important thing to him.

我认为这对他来说是最重要的。

Last year, Marlowe did this thing for 50 days straight where, each day, he'd write a Facebook post about two Black people in Detroit he saw potential in, which he later turned into a website called Roster Detroit.

去年，马洛连续 50 天这样做，每天他都会在 Facebook 上写一篇关于他在底特律看到潜力的两名黑人的帖子，后来他将其变成了一个名为 Roster Detroit 的网站。

This came after a Chamber of Commerce official said that Amazon didn't choose Detroit for its new headquarters partly because the city didn't have enough talent.

此前，一名商会官员表示，亚马逊没有选择底特律作为新总部，部分原因是该市没有足够的人才。

Marlowe's response was this list to say, here's what you missed out on.

马洛的回应是这份清单，说的是，这就是你错过的东西。

Right now, the list of people we've lost to COVID is too long.

目前，我们因新冠肺炎而失去的人员名单太长了。

So, too, is the list of people we've lost to police brutality.

我们因警察暴行而失去的人员名单也是如此。

These lists are about Black death.

这些清单与黑死病有关。

But at this moment, I like to think about Roster Detroit, Marlowe's list of Black talent-- a list that's about Black people, living.

但此时此刻，我喜欢思考《底特律名册》，马洛的黑人天才名单——一份关于黑人生活的名单。

Aaron Foley.

亚伦·弗利.

He's about to become the head of the Black Media Initiative at the Newmark Graduate School of Journalism at the City University of New York.

他即将成为纽约城市大学纽马克新闻研究生院黑人媒体计划的负责人。

I'm looking at this sign in the window.

我正在看着橱窗里的这个标志。

I don't know if y'all can see it.

不知道大家能不能看到。

It says, "Nothing stops Detroit." Nothing stops the people of Detroit, is what I would say.

它说：“没有什么能阻止底特律。”我想说的是，没有什么能阻止底特律人民。

And the point that I'm making is, y'all, look-- if not us, then who?

我想说的是，你们看，如果不是我们，那是谁？

You got to make a decision about who you're going to be, right?

你必须决定你要成为谁，对吗？

And the city has to make a decision about what it's going to be and who it's going to be.

这座城市必须决定它将是什么以及它将是谁。

And I will tell you right now, it's tough.

我现在就告诉你，这很难。

But the last time I checked, this was the D.

但我上次检查时，这是D。

And so I will just say, stay motivated, stay connected, and help people.

所以我只想说，保持动力，保持联系，帮助别人。

Help people, help people, help people.

帮助人们，帮助人们，帮助人们。

I'll help you.

我会帮助你。

Hit me up.

打我吧。

All right, D.

好吧，D.

Holla.

哈拉。

Credits Ira Glass Well, our program was produced today by Miki Meek and Emanuele Barry.

图片来源：Ira Glass 嗯，我们今天的节目是由 Miki Meek 和 Emanuele Barry 制作的。

The people who put together our show today includes Bim Adewunmi, Susan Burton, Ben Calhoun, Dana Chivvis, Sean Cole, Aviva DeKornfeld, Hilary Elkins, Noor Gill, Damien Graef, Michelle Harris, Lina Misitzis, Stowe Nelson, and Katharine Mae Mondo, Lisa Pollock, Nadia Reiman, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Christopher Swetala, and Matt Tierney.

今天节目的制作人包括 Bim Adewunmi、Susan Burton、Ben Calhoun、Dana Chivvis、Sean Cole、Aviva DeKornfeld、Hilary Elkins、Noor Gill、Damien Graef、Michelle Harris、Lina Misitzis、Stowe Nelson 和 Katharine Mae Mondo、Lisa Pollock、Nadia Reiman、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Christopher Swetala 和 Matt蒂尔尼.

Our managing editors are Diane Wheeler and Sarah Abdurrahman.

我们的执行编辑是黛安·惠勒 (Diane Wheeler) 和莎拉·阿卜杜拉赫曼 (Sarah Abdurrahman)。

Our executive editor is David Kestenbaum.

我们的执行编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。

Special thanks today to Michael Eichenhorn, Sara Hegab, Jackie Pflaum, Kristen Chasteen, Kim North Shine, Patrick Bradley, Brittni Brown, Lamont Jones, Tatiana Grant, Melinda Madrigal, Imani Mixon, John Raniszewski, Jeffrey Rowe, Sonia Russell, Marcus Thirkill, Angela Wicks, Sarah Alvarez, Todd Bettison, Pamela Chen, Toni Davis, Gillian Grafton, Emily Ioco, Scott Kaatz, Toson Knight, Ricardo Marble, Carrie Morgan, Betty Morris, Varidhi Nauriyal, John Roach, Driadonna Rowland, Steve Poloni, Stacey Prantera, Zachary Smith, Jeff Wattrick, and Stateline, a journalism project funded by the Pew Charitable Trusts.

今天特别感谢迈克尔·艾肯霍恩、萨拉·赫加布、杰基·普夫劳姆、克里斯汀·查斯汀、金·诺斯·夏恩、帕特里克·布拉德利、布里特妮·布朗、拉蒙特·琼斯、塔蒂安娜·格兰特、梅琳达·马德里加尔、伊马尼·米克森、约翰·拉尼舍夫斯基、杰弗里·罗、索尼娅·拉塞尔、马库斯·瑟基尔、安吉拉·威克斯、莎拉·阿尔瓦雷斯、托德·贝蒂森、帕梅拉·陈、托尼·戴维斯、吉莉安Grafton、Emily Ioco、Scott Kaatz、Toson Knight、Ricardo Marble、Carrie Morgan、Betty Morris、Varidhi Nauriyal、John Roach、Driadonna Rowland、Steve Poloni、Stacey Prantera、Zachary Smith、Jeff Wattrick 以及由皮尤慈善信托基金资助的新闻项目 Stateline。

Our website, thisamericanlife.org.

我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。

This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.

《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。

Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder Mr. Torey Malatia.

一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。

You know, he actually met Donald Trump once.

你知道，他实际上见过唐纳德·特朗普一次。

This was years ago.

这是很多年前的事了。

Kind of a weird story.

有点奇怪的故事。

He literally asked me, did I need any money?

他直接问我，需要钱吗？

I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.

我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。

This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.

《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。