702: One Last Thing Before I Go - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #702 | April 24, 2020 702: One Last Thing Before I Go Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 702 集 | 2020 年 4 月 24 日 702：出发前的最后一件事 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass Andrew Thomas Norway lives in St. Paul, but he's one of those doctors and nurses who flew to New York to help with flood of COVID patients who filled New York hospitals.
序言：序言 艾拉·格拉斯·安德鲁·托马斯·挪威住在圣保罗，但他是飞往纽约帮助纽约医院挤满的新冠患者的医生和护士之一。
He's actually at the hospital at Columbia University, where he went to medical school a quarter century ago.
他实际上在哥伦比亚大学的医院，二十五年前他在那里上过医学院。
At night, after his 12-hour shifts, he sleeps in his old dormitory, literally in the dorm room he had when he was 23.
晚上，12 小时的轮班结束后，他会睡在原来的宿舍里，实际上就是他 23 岁时的宿舍。
The hospital has scratched out all kinds of extra space for COVID patients, converting 24 operating rooms into intensive care units.
医院为新冠患者腾出各种额外空间，将 24 间手术室改造成重症监护室。
But the strangest thing to him?
但对他来说最奇怪的事情是什么？
Normally, there'd be family all over the place.
正常情况下，家里都会有家人。
But the families are not able to come close to the hospital.
但家属无法靠近医院。
They can't even come in the lobby, let alone get to see the people they love.
他们甚至不能进入大厅，更不用说见到他们所爱的人了。
And the other thing is just the reality that most of these people are going to die in these places alone.
另一件事是现实，大多数人将独自死在这些地方。
Most of them are unconscious, in medically-induced comas, because it's easier to survive on a ventilator that way.
他们中的大多数人都处于药物引起的昏迷状态，因为这样靠呼吸机更容易生存。
But because they're unconscious, it means that the gap between these COVID patients and their families is even more profound, because they don't talk on the phone or FaceTime or anything.
但因为他们失去了知觉，这意味着这些新冠肺炎患者与其家人之间的差距更加深远，因为他们不通过电话或 FaceTime 或任何其他方式交谈。
So Andrew suggested to the nurses that maybe they should take notes each day, little things they notice about each patient to share with the families if the patient dies.
因此安德鲁向护士们建议，也许他们应该每天做笔记，记录每个病人注意到的小事情，以便在病人去世后与家人分享。
I asked him to read a few.
我请他读几本。
Sure.
当然。
This one's from a nurse named Sandy.
这是一位名叫桑迪的护士发来的。
And she wrote, Mrs-- I won't say the name.
她写道，夫人——我不会说出名字。
"The patient is mostly sleeping.
“病人大部分时间都在睡觉。
She looks peaceful.
她看起来很平静。
Also, I really like her dark green fingernail polish.
另外，我真的很喜欢她的深绿色指甲油。
I would love to know the name of the color."
我很想知道这种颜色的名字。”
Here's another one.
这是另一张。
"I've been parting the patient's hair to the side.
“我一直把病人的头发分开到一边。
I don't know if that's how he wears it, but I think it looks good that way.
我不知道他是不是这样穿，但我觉得这样很好看。
Also, yesterday he got a shave, and now he looks so young."
而且，昨天他刮了胡子，现在看起来很年轻。”
Here's one more.
这里还有一个。
"The patient looks so peaceful.
“病人看起来很平静。
He's sleeping and calm.
他正在睡觉，很平静。
Everyone is jealous of his salt and pepper hair.
每个人都嫉妒他的椒盐色头发。
He looks like George Clooney right now."
他现在看起来就像乔治·克鲁尼。”
I talked to a few of the nurses who are writing these notes, and they said that, because the patients are unconscious, their interactions are pretty basic, so figuring out what to write can be tricky.
我与一些正在写这些笔记的护士交谈过，他们说，由于患者没有意识，他们的互动非常基本，所以弄清楚要写什么可能很棘手。
Dr. Thomas sees that for sure.
托马斯博士肯定地看到了这一点。
Yeah, so people end up focusing on what you can see, which is embellishments like earrings and hairstyles and fingernail polish, and also just trying to emphasize that the people are comfortable, that they're sleeping.
是的，所以人们最终会把注意力集中在你能看到的东西上，比如耳环、发型和指甲油等装饰品，而且只是想强调人们很舒服，他们正在睡觉。
They're not in pain.
他们并不痛苦。
That's something we really want to-- almost all the nurses comment on that, it seems, on almost every one.
这是我们真正想要做的事情——几乎所有的护士似乎都对此发表了评论。
And what's your hope about how the families will take this?
您对家人如何接受这件事有何希望？
My hope is that the families will know that their loved ones were being seen as people and treated as people, and that they weren't alone as this happened.
我希望这些家庭能够知道，他们的亲人被视为人，并被当作人对待，而且发生这种情况时他们并不孤单。
So they gather details about the people laying in front of them, knowing that there's something like an 80% chance that, if they're on a ventilator with COVID, they won't live.
因此，他们收集了躺在他们面前的人的详细信息，因为他们知道，如果他们患有新冠肺炎而使用呼吸机，他们有 80% 的可能性无法生存。
Those are the numbers in New York.
这些是纽约的数字。
Those two things are so different in size, writing down a few tiny observations measured against the enormity of death and what that means.
这两件事的大小如此不同，写下一些微小的观察结果来衡量死亡的严重性及其意味着什么。
But sometimes, I think that's all you can do.
但有时，我想这就是你能做的一切。
And today on our program, we have two stories where ordinary people rise to this exact task.
今天在我们的节目中，我们有两个普通人勇敢地面对这一任务的故事。
They look at death standing there-- gigantic, horrifying-- and they say something.
他们看着站在那里的死亡——巨大的、可怕的——然后他们说了些什么。
And in these stories, truly amazing things happen.
在这些故事中，真正令人惊奇的事情发生了。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Really Long Distance.
第一幕，真正的远距离。
So remember that tsunami that hit Japan?
还记得袭击日本的海啸吗？
March 2011, giant black waves more than 30 feet tall hit Japan.
2011年3月，30多英尺高的巨大黑浪袭击了日本。
A guy in a little town called Otsuchi shot this video.
一个名叫大槌的小镇的人拍摄了这段视频。
You can hear him yelling.
你可以听到他大喊大叫。
All the houses are washing away.
所有的房子都被冲走了。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Ira Glass Otsuchi had been there for 100 years, and in 30 minutes, it was gone, almost totally flattened.
[说日语] Ira Glass Otsuchi 已经在那里呆了 100 年了，30 分钟后，它就消失了，几乎完全被夷为平地。
The tsunami and the earthquake that went with it killed six times more people than died in 9/11, over 19,000 people.
海啸和随之而来的地震造成的死亡人数是 9/11 事件的六倍，死亡人数超过 19,000 人。
Another 2,500 are still missing.
另有 2,500 人仍下落不明。
In the aftermath, of course, families struggled to figure out how they were going to move forward without the people they loved.
当然，事后，许多家庭都在努力弄清楚，如果没有他们所爱的人，他们将如何继续前进。
And in that town of Otsuchi, it led to this new-- I don't know, ritual is not exactly the right word for this, but it's something close to that-- this thing that people invented to stay connected to the dead.
在大槌镇，它导致了这种新的——我不知道，仪式这个词并不完全适合这个词，但它是接近的东西——人们发明这种东西来与死者保持联系。
One of our producers, Miki Meek, has family in Japan, and she grew up going back and forth between there and here.
我们的制作人之一 Miki Meek 在日本有家人，她从小就在日本和日本之间往返长大。
And she watched this documentary about this thing people were doing in Otsuchi on the Japanese News Channel NHK, and got permission for us to play you some excerpts.
她在日本新闻频道 NHK 观看了这部关于大槌市人们所做的事情的纪录片，并获得我们的许可向您播放一些摘录。
Here's Miki.
这是米基。
Of all the areas in Japan affected by the tsunami, Otsuchi has one of the highest numbers of missing people, 421.
在日本所有受海啸影响的地区中，大槌市是失踪人数最多的地区之一，达 421 人。
Today, it's still partly in ruins, and partly a construction site, as they try to rebuild the town on higher ground.
如今，它仍然部分是废墟，部分是建筑工地，因为他们试图在地势较高的地方重建城镇。
But a year before the tsunami happened, this guy named Itaru Sasaki, he was already dealing with a loss.
但在海啸发生前一年，这个名叫佐佐木 Itaru 的家伙已经面临着损失。
His cousin had just died, and Itaru was having a hard time figuring out how to talk about it.
他的表弟刚刚去世，阿塔鲁很难弄清楚如何谈论这件事。
So he did something pretty ingenious.
所以他做了一件非常巧妙的事情。
He went out and bought an old-fashioned phone booth and stuck it in his garden.
他出去买了一个老式电话亭，把它插在自家花园里。
It looks like an old English-style one.
它看起来像一种古老的英式风格。
It's square and painted white, and has these glass window panes.
它是方形的，漆成白色，并有这些玻璃窗板。
Inside is a black rotary phone rusting on a wood shelf.
里面是一个黑色的旋转电话，放在木架子上生锈了。
This phone connected to nowhere.
此电话无法连接。
It didn't work at all.
它根本不起作用。
But that didn't matter to Itaru.
但这对伊塔鲁来说并不重要。
He just needed a place where he felt like he could talk to his cousin, a place where he could air out his grief.
他只是需要一个他觉得可以和表弟交谈的地方，一个可以发泄悲伤的地方。
And so putting an old phone booth in his garden, which sits on this little windy hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean, it felt like a perfect solution.
因此，在他的花园里放置一个旧电话亭，花园坐落在这座俯瞰太平洋的多风小山上，感觉像是一个完美的解决方案。
He's saying, because my thoughts could not be relayed over a regular phone line, I wanted them to be carried on the wind.
他说，因为我的想法无法通过普通电话线传达，所以我希望它们能随风飘扬。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek So I named it the Wind Telephone, [JAPANESE].
[日语] Miki Meek 所以我将其命名为风电话，[日语]。
The idea of keeping up a relationship with the dead is not such a strange one in Japan.
在日本，与死者保持联系的想法并不奇怪。
The line between our world and their world is thin.
我们的世界和他们的世界之间的界限很窄。
Lots of families keep a Buddhist altar for their dead relatives in the living room.
许多家庭在客厅里为死去的亲人摆放佛坛。
My uncle has one for our family.
我叔叔为我们家准备了一个。
There are photos on a little platform, and every day he leaves fresh fruit and rice for them, lights incense, and rings a bell.
小平台上挂着照片，每天他都会给他们留下新鲜的水果和米饭，烧香，摇铃。
It's a way to stay in touch, to let them know that there's still a big part of our family.
这是保持联系的一种方式，让他们知道我们的家庭仍然有很大一部分。
So after the tsunami and earthquake happened, word got out about Itaru's special Wind Telephone, that he was using it as another way to stay connected to the dead.
因此，海啸和地震发生后，关于 Itaru 的特殊风电话的消息传开了，他正在用它作为与死者保持联系的另一种方式。
Soon, people started showing up randomly on his property and walking right into the phone booth.
很快，人们开始随机出现在他的财产上，并径直走进电话亭。
This has been going on for five years now.
这种情况已经持续五年了。
Itaru estimates that thousands of people from all over Japan have come to use his phone.
Itaru 估计来自日本各地的数千人来使用他的手机。
A TV station asked Itaru and the people who come to use his phone if they could videotape their calls from a distance and put an audio recorder in the phone booth.
一家电视台询问 Itaru 和前来使用他电话的人们是否可以远距离录制通话并在电话亭安装录音机。
They wanted to get a sense of how people are still grieving.
他们想了解人们仍然处于悲伤之中。
I watched their documentary after the fifth anniversary of the tsunami back in March.
我在三月份海啸五周年纪念日后观看了他们的纪录片。
That whole week, all the news programs in Japan were airing memorial programs.
整整一周，日本所有的新闻节目都在播出纪念节目。
But I found the calls in this particular program remarkable and moving for just how simple they were.
但我发现这个特定程序中的调用非常简单，而且令人感动。
One woman from Otsuchi, named Sachiko Okawa, showed up one afternoon.
一天下午，一位来自大槌市、名叫大川幸子的女士出现了。
She's 71 years old, and lost her husband in the tsunami.
她今年 71 岁，在海啸中失去了丈夫。
She regularly brings her two young grandsons to the phone booth, and you can tell by how casually they talked to him on the phone.
她经常带着两个年幼的孙子去电话亭，从他们在电话中与他交谈的轻松程度就可以看出。
They squish into the phone booth with their grandma, wearing matching blue and black striped shirts.
他们和奶奶一起挤进电话亭，穿着相配的蓝黑条纹衬衫。
Sachiko starts the call by picking up the receiver and saying hello.
幸子拿起听筒打招呼开始通话。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Her oldest grandson quickly jumps in.
[日语] Miki Meek 她的大孙子很快插了进来。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Hi, Grandpa.
[说日语] Miki Meek 嗨，爷爷。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek How are you?
[说日语] Miki Meek 你好吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'll be in fourth grade next semester.
[说日语] Miki Meek 下学期我将上四年级。
Wasn't that fast?
那不是很快吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Daina, my younger brother, he'll be in second grade next year.
[说日语] Miki Meek Daina，我的弟弟，他明年将上二年级。
Then Sachiko corrects him.
然后幸子纠正了他。
She says, no, Daina will be in second grade this year, not next.
她说，不，戴娜今年将上二年级，而不是明年。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Yeah, yeah, this year.
[说日语] Miki Meek 是的，是的，今年。
A lot of calls were just like this, straightforward updates about life, the kind of quick highlights reel you might give to any family member you were catching up with on the phone.
很多电话都是这样的，直接更新生活，就像你可以给你在电话里联系的任何家庭成员的那种快速的精彩片段。
The boy, he then tells his grandpa--
男孩然后告诉他的爷爷——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Grandma is fine, too.
[说日语] Miki Meek 奶奶也很好。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'm giving the phone to Daina now.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我现在把电话交给 Daina。
Daina, his little brother, grabs the phone.
他的弟弟戴娜拿起电话。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Grandpa, I finished all my homework.
[说日语] Miki Meek 爷爷，我完成了所有的作业。
Sachiko urges him to keep talking.
幸子催促他继续说下去。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Grandson 2 [SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[日语] 孙子 2 [日语]
He says, everyone is doing fine.
他说，大家都过得很好。
Then he hangs up.
然后他就挂断了电话。
They all say goodbye.
他们都说了再见。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Grandson 1 Bye bye.
[插话] 孙子 1 再见。
As they're walking out of the booth, Daina says--
当他们走出展位时，戴娜说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Maybe Grandpa will say he heard us.
[说日语] Miki Meek 也许爷爷会说他听到了我们的声音。
In another call, a woman in a puffy winter jacket with a fur-lined hood shows up at the booth by herself.
在另一个电话中，一位穿着蓬松冬季夹克、带毛皮衬里兜帽的女士独自出现在展位上。
Her name is Kikue Hirano, and she's 66.
她的名字叫平野菊惠，今年 66 岁。
She used to live in Otsuchi, but she moved away after she lost her house and her husband in the tsunami.
她曾经住在大槌市，但在海啸中失去了房子和丈夫后就搬走了。
Her husband was a deep sea fisherman.
她的丈夫是一名深海渔民。
His name was Miyoji and they used to talk and drink sake together at night.
他的名字叫美代司，他们常常在晚上一起聊天、喝酒。
Now, Kikue lives alone, about 50 miles away.
现在，Kikue 独自生活在大约 50 英里外的地方。
But sometimes Kikue finds herself driving back to Otsuchi, and to this booth.
但有时菊惠发现自己开车回到大槌，回到这个摊位。
I watched her do this thing that a lot of callers seemed to do.
我看着她做了很多来电者似乎都会做的事情。
You hear Kikue actually dialing the rotary phone, saying some numbers to herself.
你听到菊惠实际上正在拨打转盘电话，自言自语地说着一些号码。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek 4, 2, 5, 7, 4, 4.
[日语] Miki Meek 4, 2, 5, 7, 4, 4。
She's dialing the phone number for her old house in Otsuchi, the last place she knew to reach her husband.
她正在拨打位于大槌市的老房子的电话号码，这是她最后联系到丈夫的地方。
Then Kikue just stands in the booth in silence, holding the phone to her ear.
然后菊惠就静静地站在电话亭里，把电话放在耳边。
Sometimes she fidgets around, and tilts her head up and concentrates on the ceiling, the same way I do when I want to cry but I'm trying hard not to.
有时她会坐立不安，抬起头，把注意力集中在天花板上，就像我想哭但又努力不哭时的做法一样。
It doesn't work.
这不起作用。
Kikue brushes some tears off her face.
菊惠擦掉脸上的泪水。
Eventually, she hangs up.
最终，她挂断了电话。
She lingers in the booth a little longer, hands clasped together in front of her, staring at the phone booth floor.
她在电话亭里逗留了一会儿，双手在身前合十，盯着电话亭的地板。
She walks out.
她走了出去。
One pattern that the owner of the phone booth, Itaru, has noticed over the years is that more men than women come to use it.
多年来，电话亭老板 Itaru 注意到的一个现象是，使用电话亭的男性多于女性。
Not surprisingly, this is not a demographic that's known for sharing their feelings, especially the older farmers.
毫不奇怪，这群人并不以分享自己的感受而闻名，尤其是年长的农民。
They already have a reputation for not talking much.
他们已经以不爱说话而闻名。
In one of the phone calls recorded in winter, a man with gray hair and a little towel hanging around his neck walks into the garden.
在冬天录制的一个电话中，一名头发花白、脖子上挂着一条小毛巾的男子走进花园。
This kind of towel is part of the uniform of Japanese farmers.
这种毛巾是日本农民制服的一部分。
They use them to wipe away sweat and clean their hands.
他们用它们擦汗、清洁双手。
This man opens the telephone booth door, and under his breath, you hear him say--
这个人打开电话亭的门，你可以听到他低声说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Huh, so this is the Wind Telephone.
[说日语] Miki Meek 嗯，这是风电话。
This appears to be his very first visit to the phone booth.
这似乎是他第一次来到电话亭。
He lost his oldest son in the tsunami.
他在海啸中失去了大儿子。
His son's name was Nobuyuki.
他儿子的名字叫伸行。
He also lost his house and had to move into temporary housing with his wife.
他还失去了房子，不得不和妻子一起搬进临时住所。
And recently, she got sick and also passed away.
最近，她生病了，也去世了。
He calls her okaasan.
他称她为“okaasan”。
It means mom in Japanese.
日语里是妈妈的意思。
It's what everyone in the family calls a female head of the house, even the husband.
这就是家里的每个人都称之为女一家之主，甚至是丈夫。
It's a very intimate, loving term.
这是一个非常亲密、充满爱意的词语。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Is Mom with you?
[日语] Miki Meek 妈妈和你在一起吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Sorry to ask this, but take care of her, and your grandma and grandpa, too.
[日语] Miki Meek 很抱歉问这个问题，但请照顾好她，还有你的奶奶和爷爷。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'll come again, OK?
[说日语] Miki Meek 我会再来的，好吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --I'll be back.
[说日语] Miki Meek --我会回来的。
He uses the towel around his neck to wipe his eyes.
他用脖子上的毛巾擦眼睛。
One of the things that makes these calls so poignant to me is all the understated ways that people are actually saying I love you and I miss you.
这些电话让我如此心酸的原因之一是人们实际上用低调的方式说我爱你，我想念你。
I'd never say something so direct like that in Japanese.
我从来不会用日语说这么直接的话。
It's just not done.
只是还没有完成。
I've only seen people say it in the soap operas.
我只在肥皂剧里见过人们这么说。
[JAPANESE].
[日本人]。
Even saying that right now feels weird.
即使现在这么说也感觉很奇怪。
I've never said that to my mom or my grandparents.
我从来没有对我的妈妈或祖父母说过这样的话。
[CREAKING] Take this call.
[吱吱作响]接听这个电话。
It's winter.
现在是冬天。
The phone booth is surrounded by snow.
电话亭被雪包围了。
[ROTARY DIALING] Man 3 [SPEAKING JAPANESE]
[旋转拨号] 男人 3 [日语]
Where are you?
你在哪里？
He's an older man wearing a baseball cap.
他是一位戴着棒球帽的老人。
He also calls his wife Mom.
他还称呼他的妻子为妈妈。
His wife, daughter and mother, they all went missing in the tsunami.
他的妻子、女儿和母亲都在海啸中失踪了。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek It's so cold, but you're not getting cold, are you?
[日语] Miki Meek 天气这么冷，但你并没有冷，是吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Are grandma and our daughter Miyuki with you, too?
[日语] Miki Meek 奶奶和我们的女儿 Miyuki 也和你一起吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Come back soon.
[说日语] Miki Meek 快回来。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Be found soon.
[说日语] Miki Meek 很快就能找到。
Everyone is waiting for you.
每个人都在等你。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Be found soon.
[说日语] Miki Meek 很快就能找到。
Hurry home, OK?
快点回家好吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'll build a house in the same place.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我会在同一个地方盖一栋房子。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Eat something, anything.
[说日语] Miki Meek 吃点东西，任何东西。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Just be alive.
[说日语] Miki Meek 只要活着就好。
Somewhere, anywhere.
某处，任何地方。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'm so lonely.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我很孤独。
He never says I love you directly.
他从不直接说我爱你。
Real feelings are communicated through small gestures, especially ones of concern, like when he asks his wife, are you staying warm?
真实的感情是通过小动作来传达的，尤其是那些关心的动作，比如当他问妻子，你暖和吗？
Are you eating?
你在吃饭吗？
And then promising, I'll build a house for us.
然后我承诺，我会为我们建造一座房子。
These are total heartfelt declarations of love.
这些都是衷心的爱的宣言。
For other men, the phone booth is a place where they can finally say their complicated feelings out loud.
对于其他男人来说，电话亭是他们终于可以大声说出复杂心情的地方。
They can voice their regrets.
他们可以表达自己的遗憾。
Anyone who's had someone close to them die knows this feeling.
任何一个亲人去世的人都知道这种感觉。
Like, I've kept having the same one-way conversation with my dad in my head ever since he passed away last year.
就像，自从我父亲去年去世以来，我的脑海里一直在与他进行同样的单向对话。
I just keep telling him all the situations where I wish I had been kinder, more patient.
我只是不断地告诉他所有我希望自己表现得更友善、更有耐心的情况。
One call I watched was from a young father with rectangle glasses and a long black jacket.
我看到一个电话是一位戴着长方形眼镜、穿着黑色长夹克的年轻父亲打来的。
He lost his family, both parents, his wife-- her name was Mine-- and a one-year-old son named Issei.
他失去了家人、父母、妻子（她的名字叫我）和一个一岁的儿子，名叫一诚。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek It's already been five years since the disaster.
[日语] Miki Meek 灾难发生已经五年了。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek If this voice reaches you, please listen.
[日语] Miki Meek 如果您听到这个声音，请听。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Sometimes I don't know what I'm living for.
[说日语] Miki Meek 有时我不知道自己为何而活。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Issei, please let me hear you call me Papa.
[说日语] Miki Meek Issei，请让我听到你叫我爸爸。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Even though I built a new house--
[说日语] Miki Meek 即使我盖了新房子——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --Dad, Mom--
[说日语] Miki Meek --爸爸，妈妈--
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --Mine and Issei--
[日语] Miki Meek --Mine 和 Issei--
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --without all of you, it's meaningless.
[说日语] Miki Meek——没有你们，就没有意义。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I want to hear your reply, but I can't hear anything.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我想听听你的回复，但我什么也听不到。
He hangs up the phone, takes off his glasses, and covers his eyes with his hands.
他挂断电话，摘下眼镜，用手捂住眼睛。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'm sorry.
[说日语] Miki Meek 对不起。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I'm so sorry I couldn't save you.
[说日语] Miki Meek 很抱歉我没能救你。
There's a couple of phrases I heard callers tell the dead again and again-- [JAPANESE], don't worry about us, and [JAPANESE], which basically means I'm doing my very best.
我听到来电者一次又一次地告诉死者一些短语——[日语]，别担心我们，以及[日语]，这基本上意味着我正在尽力而为。
I'm enduring.
我在忍。
In Japan, [JAPANESE] is a catch-all slogan for slogging through life's many challenges, no matter how tiny or big.
在日本，“日语”是一个包罗万象的口号，表示克服生活中的许多挑战，无论大小。
From trying to pass a test at school to grieving, you hear it all the time, for everything.
从试图在学校通过考试到悲伤，你每时每刻都会听到这样的声音。
In the phone booth, [JAPANESE] and [JAPANESE], these are key phrases to reassure the dead that the living, the people left behind, they're doing OK, even if they're not.
在电话亭里，[日语]和[日语]，这些是让死者放心的关键词，让生者、留下的人知道，他们过得很好，即使他们做得不好。
People don't want to worry or burden their loved ones, even dead loved ones, because most Japanese are Buddhist, and generally believe that, when someone dies, they're not suddenly relieved of all their earthly concerns.
人们不想让亲人担心或增加负担，甚至是已故亲人，因为大多数日本人都是佛教徒，并且普遍认为，当有人去世时，他们不会突然摆脱所有世俗的担忧。
They're not automatically in heaven, happy and carefree.
他们不会自动进入天堂，快乐而无忧无虑。
Many people believe that, if the dead see a family member suffering, they can't let go of their earthly life.
许多人相信，如果死者看到家人受苦，他们就无法放弃尘世的生活。
They hesitate to cross to the other side, and end up stuck in a no man's land.
他们犹豫是否要穿越到另一边，最终被困在无人区。
I heard these reassurances in a call from a 15-year-old kid named Ren Kozaki to his dad.
我在 15 岁的小崎仁 (Ren Kozaki) 给他父亲的电话中听到了这些保证。
He arrived at the phone booth after spending four hours on public transportation by himself.
他独自乘坐公共交通工具四个小时后到达了电话亭。
Ren lives in a city much farther north that wasn't affected as much by the tsunami, but his dad was a truck driver who drove all over Japan, and in a last-minute schedule change, he got sent on a route that took him along the coast when the tsunami hit.
任住在一个更靠北的城市，受海啸的影响不太严重，但他的父亲是一名卡车司机，在日本各地开车，在最后一刻改变了时间表，他被送到了一条在海啸袭来时沿着海岸行驶的路线。
He's been missing ever since.
从那以后他就失踪了。
Ren went into the phone booth wearing a red backpack.
任正非背着红色背包走进电话亭。
And what he does in his call, you hear him signaling to his dad that it's OK, he should keep moving on into the afterworld.
他在电话中所做的，你可以听到他向他的父亲发出信号，表示没关系，他应该继续进入来世。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek The four of us are doing fine.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我们四个人都做得很好。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek We're [JAPANESE].
[日语] Miki Meek 我们是[日语]。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek You don't need to worry about us.
[说日语] Miki Meek 你不用担心我们。
[JAPANESE].
[日本人]。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Dad, are you doing OK?
[说日语] Miki Meek 爸爸，你还好吗？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I do have one question I want to ask you.
[日语] Miki Meek 我有一个问题想问你。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Why did you die?
[说日语] Miki Meek 你为什么死？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Why did it have to be you, Dad?
[说日语] Miki Meek 爸爸，为什么一定是你呢？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Why just me?
[说日语] Miki Meek 为什么只有我？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I've always wondered--
[说日语] Miki Meek 我一直想知道——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --why am I the only one who is--
[日语] Miki Meek——为什么只有我一个——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --different from everyone else.
[说日语] Miki Meek——与其他人不同。
Anyways--
无论如何——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --please be found quickly.
[日语] Miki Meek——请尽快找到。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Where are you now?
[说日语] Miki Meek 你现在在哪里？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek They never found anything of you.
[说日语] Miki Meek 他们从来没有找到你的任何信息。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek I wanted to talk with you again.
[说日语] Miki Meek 我想再次和你说话。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Ren left the booth.
[说日语] Miki Meek Ren 离开了展位。
In late February, he came back with his entire family-- his mom, younger brother, and sister.
二月底，他带着全家回来了——他的妈妈、弟弟和妹妹。
They all drove down to Otsuchi together.
他们一起开车前往大槌。
And when they got to the phone booth, at first they kind of awkwardly hung out in front of it.
当他们到达电话亭时，一开始他们有点尴尬地在电话亭前闲逛。
So to break the ice, Ren walks in and places the first call to their dad.
为了打破僵局，任走进来，第一个给他们的父亲打电话。
He tells him--
他告诉他——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --I brought everyone with me today.
[说日语] Miki Meek ——今天我把大家都带来了。
When Ren walks out, his family laughs.
当任走出去时，他的家人都笑了。
They say--
他们说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek That was so fast.
[说日语] Miki Meek 太快了。
Ren shoots back--
雷恩回击——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --it was just a quick report to dad that I brought everyone with me today.
[说日语] Miki Meek——这只是向爸爸的一个快速报告，我今天带了所有人一起来。
Next up are Ren's little brother and sister, who are 12 and 14 years old.
接下来是任的弟弟妹妹，他们分别是 12 岁和 14 岁。
They go into the booth together, and the sister is talking and laughing nervously.
她们一起走进摊位，姐姐紧张地有说有笑。
What am I supposed to say?
我该说什么？
What should I tell them?
我应该告诉他们什么？
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Wait, wait, wait.
[说日语] Miki Meek 等等，等等，等等。
Don't leave me alone in here.
别把我一个人留在这里。
The sister picks up the phone.
姐姐接起了电话。
And let me just say, the mom told the film crew that this is a girl who has not said a single word about her dad to anyone since he went missing five years ago.
我只想说，妈妈告诉摄制组，自从五年前父亲失踪以来，这个女孩就没有对任何人说过任何关于她父亲的事。
So she picks up the phone and starts to cry.
于是她拿起电话开始哭泣。
She asks her brother again, what should I talk to him about?
她又问哥哥，我该跟他聊什么？
Her little brother's name is Riku, and he tells her--
她弟弟的名字叫 Riku，他告诉她——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Say what you wanted to tell him.
[说日语] Miki Meek 说出你想告诉他的话。
[SOBS] Miki Meek She says, are you trying to make me laugh, Riku?
[抽泣] Miki Meek 她说，你是想让我笑吗，Riku？
Riku says--
里库说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --no, I'm not.
[说日语] Miki Meek——不，我不是。
Then she finally starts talking to her dad.
然后她终于开始和她爸爸说话。
The conversation is all over the place.
谈话无处不在。
And she's crying so hard she can barely talk.
她哭得很厉害，几乎无法说话。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Dad, I'm so sorry I always used to say you were stinky.
[说日语] Miki Meek 爸爸，我很抱歉我总是说你很臭。
What happened to your promise to buy me a violin?
你答应给我买小提琴的事怎么了？
Now I'll have to buy one myself.
现在我得自己买一个了。
Her little brother who sticks close to her, he encourages her to keep going.
她的弟弟紧紧地贴着她，鼓励她继续前进。
He says, what else?
他说，还有什么？
So she tells her dad--
于是她告诉她爸爸——
I started tennis in junior high school.
我从初中开始打网球。
I'm not in the top eight.
我没进前八。
I want to be in the top eight in our last tournament.
我想在上届比赛中进入前八名。
Please cheer for me.
请为我加油。
I got hooked on this boy band, The Johnnys, when I was in my first year of junior high.
当我上初中一年级时，我就迷上了这个男孩乐队“The Johnnys”。
I'm still hooked.
我仍然着迷。
They both say--
他们俩都说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --goodbye.
[日语] Miki Meek——再见。
They come out of the booth together.
他们一起从摊位出来。
Now it's their mom's turn.
现在轮到他们的妈妈了。
Her kids tell her itterasshai.
她的孩子们告诉她 itterasshai。
Itterasshai.
伊特拉沙伊。
Miki Meek Have a good trip.
米基·米克 祝您旅途愉快。
Good luck.
祝你好运。
Ren, the oldest, he bows and waves to her.
任（Ren）是最年长的，他向她鞠躬并向她挥手。
She walks in, picks up the phone, and lets out a big sigh.
她走进去，拿起电话，长长地叹了口气。
Miki Meek I feel like you're still alive somewhere.
米基·米克 我感觉你还活着在某个地方。
We had so many things we wanted to do together.
我们有很多事情想一起做。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Over the phone we always said to each other, are you alive?
[说日语] Miki Meek 在电话里我们总是互相问，你还活着吗？
Yes, I'm alive.
是的，我还活着。
It was our password between the two of us, wasn't it?
这是我们两个人之间的密码，不是吗？
I can't ask you that anymore.
我不能再问你这个了。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek Come back.
[说日语] Miki Meek 回来吧。
We, all four of us together, we will be waiting.
我们，我们四个人一起，我们会等待。
Bye.
再见。
[PHONE HANGING UP] After she comes out, the family lingers outside the phone booth for a while.
[电话挂断]她出来后，一家人在电话亭外逗留了一会儿。
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] This was literally the first time they'd all talked about their dad together since the tsunami happened five years ago.
[说日语] 自五年前海啸发生以来，这实际上是他们第一次一起谈论他们的父亲。
The youngest, Riku, he sat quietly on a bench with his head in his hands.
最小的孩子Riku双手抱头安静地坐在长凳上。
The night before his dad disappeared, they went to a public bath together.
他父亲失踪的前一天晚上，他们一起去了公共浴室。
His mom and older siblings tell him--
他的妈妈和年长的兄弟姐妹告诉他——
--Riku, you don't need to keep your feelings in.
——利库，你不需要压抑自己的感情。
Go ahead and cry when you want to.
想哭的时候就哭吧。
Ren, the oldest, gently teases him.
任老大轻轻地逗弄他。
He says--
他说——
[SPEAKING JAPANESE] Miki Meek --see, he can't stop crying.
[说日语] Miki Meek——看，他无法停止哭泣。
Mom says yeah, but he held back until now.
妈妈说是的，但他直到现在才说。
It's OK because you held back.
没关系，因为你忍住了。
You endured until now.
你一直忍到现在。
The sister then hands Riku her handkerchief.
然后姐姐递给Riku她的手帕。
The mom says to her kids, we were all about to fall apart.
妈妈对她的孩子们说，我们都快要崩溃了。
We were so broken.
我们是如此破碎。
We didn't think we could make it through.
我们不认为我们能挺过去。
And maybe that's why we never talked about Dad until now.
也许这就是为什么我们直到现在才谈论爸爸。
But talking to him on the phone today, it changed something.
但今天通过电话与他交谈，改变了一些事情。
Miki Meek is one of the producers of our program.
米基·米克是我们节目的制作人之一。
Thanks to Tomohiko Yokoyama and NHK Sendai, who recorded all this and shared it with us.
感谢横山智彦和NHK仙台记录了这一切并与我们分享。
Today's show is mostly a rerun.
今天的节目主要是重播。
We checked this week, and the wind phone is still in operation, though not many visitors right now because of COVID.
我们本周检查过，风力电话仍在运行，尽管由于新冠疫情，目前游客不多。
The Japanese government is asking people to stay home.
日本政府要求人们呆在家里。
Coming up, two brothers in their 80s have a last chance to talk to each other before they die, and neither wants to take it.
接下来，两个八十多岁的兄弟在临死前有最后一次交谈的机会，但他们都不想抓住这个机会。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, One Last Thing Before I Go, stories that are about-- well, they're about what power do words have in the face of death?
今天的节目，我走之前的最后一件事，故事是关于——嗯，它们是关于面对死亡时言语有什么力量？
We've arrived at Act Two of our program-- Act Two, Uncle's Keeper.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕——第二幕，叔叔的守护者。
So in the first act of our program, people kind of defy death by making small talk and some talk that was not so small with their dead relatives.
因此，在我们节目的第一幕中，人们通过闲聊以及与死去的亲人进行一些不那么小的谈话来反抗死亡。
In this act, somebody wants to do something very similar, make a connection that seemed impossible between people.
在这个行为中，有人想做一些非常相似的事情，在人与人之间建立看似不可能的联系。
Except in this story, all the relatives are alive, which you'd think would make it super easy.
除了这个故事之外，所有的亲戚都还活着，你会认为这会让事情变得非常容易。
The story comes from Jonathan Goldstein.
这个故事来自乔纳森·戈德斯坦。
Hi, Johnny.
嗨，约翰尼。
Jonathan Goldstein Hey.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦嘿。
How you doing?
你好吗？
Good, you?
很好，你呢？
Jonathan Goldstein Good, good.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 好，好。
Good Yuntif.
好的尤蒂夫。
This is my father, Buzz.
这是我的父亲，巴兹。
I'm calling him at his home in Montreal.
我正在给他在蒙特利尔的家中打电话。
And the reason we're talking crazy talk is because it's Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, which seems as good a day as any to talk with him about forgiveness.
我们之所以谈论疯狂的话题，是因为今天是赎罪日，犹太人的赎罪日，这似乎是与他谈论宽恕的最佳日子。
So I wanted to-- I wanted to ask you something, and I just wanted to gauge your interest.
所以我想——我想问你一些事情，我只是想了解一下你的兴趣。
Yeah.
是的。
Jonathan Goldstein How would you feel about paying your brother, Sheldon, a visit?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 如果你去拜访你的兄弟谢尔顿 (Sheldon)，你感觉如何？
I have no feelings about it.
我对此没有任何感觉。
I'm not really interested.
我不太感兴趣。
My father, Buzz, is 80, and his brother, Sheldon, his only sibling, is 85.
我的父亲巴兹 80 岁，他的兄弟谢尔顿（他唯一的兄弟姐妹）今年 85 岁。
And for the past 40 years, they've pretty much been on the outs.
在过去的 40 年里，他们几乎一直处于出局状态。
My father lives in Montreal, and Sheldon lives in Florida.
我父亲住在蒙特利尔，谢尔顿住在佛罗里达州。
And the last time they saw each other, over 20 years ago, was at their mother's funeral when they had a fight over the details of the arrangement.
而他们最后一次见面，已经是二十多年前的事情了，还是在母亲的葬礼上，当时他们为了葬礼的细节发生了争执。
Since then, they've hardly spoken.
从那以后，他们就很少说话了。
It worries me because there's not a lot of time left, and I don't want my father to have regrets.
这让我很担心，因为剩下的时间不多了，我不想让父亲后悔。
And my father has a profound capacity for regret.
我的父亲有很强的后悔能力。
My mother gave up trying to reunite them years ago after many attempts.
几年前，经过多次尝试，我母亲放弃了让他们团聚的尝试。
So I know that if I don't push him, no one else will.
所以我知道，如果我不推动他，其他人也不会这么做。
I'm not surprised that you're not jumping at the idea, but I'm a little surprised--
我对你没有欣然接受这个想法并不感到惊讶，但我有点惊讶——
No. Jonathan Goldstein --that you're as against the idea.
不，乔纳森·戈尔茨坦——你反对这个想法。
Yeah.
是的。
Time's passed.
时间过去了。
He hasn't shown much interest.
他并没有表现出太大的兴趣。
So I'm respecting that, and I leave him alone.
所以我尊重这一点，我不会打扰他。
What he did do was he called you on your 80th birthday not so long ago, and you felt good about that.
他所做的就是不久前你80岁生日时给你打了电话，你对此感觉很好。
Yeah, because I called him on his 80th birthday.
是的，因为我在他 80 岁生日那天给他打了电话。
This kind of tit for tat accounting is what always gets in the way.
这种针锋相对的会计方式总是会造成阻碍。
You know what it is at this point with him?
你知道他现在是什么情况吗？
I'll tell you what it is.
我来告诉你它是什么。
I don't think it's even anger.
我认为这甚至不是愤怒。
He's past anger.
他已经不再愤怒了。
And he's past any feelings of animosity.
他已经不再有任何敌意的感觉了。
He's pissed.
他很生气。
He just doesn't care.
他只是不在乎。
Yeah.
是的。
Buzz Goldstein That's apathy.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 那是冷漠。
I mean, sometimes at least hate or love, they're emotions.
我的意思是，有时至少是恨或爱，它们是情感。
Apathy is nothing.
冷漠没什么。
Yeah.
是的。
Buzz Goldstein You know what, Johnny?
巴兹·戈德斯坦 你知道吗，约翰尼？
As a child, even when I was 10, when I was nine and eight, I was crazy about him.
当我还是个孩子的时候，即使在我十岁、九岁和八岁的时候，我也为他着迷。
We had a great-- I loved him.
我们度过了一段美好的时光——我爱他。
He was the older brother.
他是哥哥。
He would-- hello?
他会——喂？
I just looked up to him.
我只是仰望他。
And he had all the friends.
他拥有所有的朋友。
Sometimes he'd take me along with him.
有时他也会带我一起去。
And he was [INAUDIBLE].
他[听不清]。
Somebody tried to call here, dinging me here.
有人试图打电话给这里，给我打电话。
The most complicated question, the one I keep coming back to, is how did the bad blood begin?
最复杂的问题，也是我不断回想的问题，是这种不和是如何开始的？
And there are many versions-- an ill-fated trip to Montreal where Sheldon felt slighted about having to stay in my father's basement, an ill-fated trip to New York where my father felt slighted about having to stay in Sheldon's attic, rude words spoken to each other's wives.
有很多版本——一次不幸的蒙特利尔之旅，在那里谢尔顿因不得不住在我父亲的地下室而感到被轻视，一次不幸的纽约之旅，在那里我父亲因不得不住在谢尔顿的阁楼而感到被轻视，对彼此的妻子说了粗鲁的话。
In one version of the story, Sheldon's refusal to bring a table to my bris almost resulted in my being circumcised on an ironing board.
在故事的一个版本中，谢尔顿拒绝给我拿一张桌子，差点导致我在熨衣板上被割礼。
But in the version being told today, my father was asked by Sheldon to pay more than his fair share for their mother's funeral.
但在今天讲述的版本中，谢尔顿要求我父亲为母亲的葬礼支付超出他应得份额的费用。
And I said, you're always working some kind of an angle.
我说，你总是从某种角度工作。
So then he got furious.
于是他就勃然大怒了。
He got furious.
他勃然大怒。
He started screaming at the phone, go to hell, drop dead, blah, blah, blah.
他开始对着电话尖叫，见鬼去吧，去死吧，等等，等等。
That was how that ended.
事情就这样结束了。
But I feel he's the kind of guy-- he has angles like that.
但我觉得他是那种人——他有那样的角度。
He has angles.
他有角度。
I always felt I was on the up and up with him, and he wasn't with me.
我总觉得我和他一起进步，而他却不和我在一起。
If you got a stronger sense that he was interested in seeing you, then would you--
如果你更强烈地感觉到他有兴趣见到你，那么你会——
Yes, yes.
是的，是的。
Jonathan Goldstein --you would be more inclined to see him?
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦——你会更愿意见到他吗？
I wouldn't stay at his house though.
但我不会住在他家。
That's out of the question.
那是不可能的。
OK, quick sidebar-- anytime I've ever raised the prospect of visiting Sheldon, no matter how hypothetical the scenario, my father always makes a point of insisting how no matter what he would not stay in Sheldon's house, even if he was invited to, which, I should point out, he never is.
好吧，快速补充一下——每当我提出去拜访谢尔顿的可能性时，无论场景多么假设，我父亲总是坚持认为无论如何他都不会留在谢尔顿家里，即使他被邀请去，但我应该指出，他从来没有这样做过。
How come you-- [LAUGHS] Buzz Goldstein I wouldn't stay there.
你怎么会——[笑]巴兹·戈德斯坦 我不会留在那里。
I mean, that's not my thing.
我的意思是，那不是我的事。
How come you always bring that up?
你怎么老是提这个？
I mean, normally--
我的意思是，通常情况下——
--when someone goes to visit someone that they haven't seen in decades, they'll stay at a hotel.
——当有人去拜访几十年未见的人时，他们会住在酒店。
I would stay at a motel or somewhere near his place.
我会住在汽车旅馆或他家附近的某个地方。
A motel.
一家汽车旅馆。
Yeah.
是的。
No, we'd get a place with an ice machine and, you know.
不，我们会找一个有制冰机的地方，你知道的。
Why?
为什么？
You're interested in making a trip?
你有兴趣去旅行吗？
[SIGHS] I mean, I'm interested-- do you think that there's anything to be gained in seeing him?
[叹气]我的意思是，我很感兴趣——你认为见到他有什么好处吗？
Hm.
嗯。
I guess there's something.
我猜有什么东西。
You know, you share your common experience, and you talk about the old days, and there are things that only he and I can remember.
你知道，你们分享着共同的经历，你们谈论着往日的时光，有些事情只有我和他才能记得。
Yeah.
是的。
Buzz Goldstein What you could do is you could call him and see what his attitude is.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 你能做的就是打电话给他，看看他的态度如何。
It depends on how you feel, what kind of reception you get.
这取决于你的感受，以及你得到什么样的接待。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, I would.
我的意思是，我会的。
I would be happy to do that.
我很乐意这样做。
My concern is that--
我担心的是——
I like your initial suggestion that you call and feel him out, see what he's like.
我喜欢你最初的建议，即你打电话给他试探一下，看看他是什么样的。
OK, I didn't suggest that, but-- you suggested that.
好吧，我没有建议，但是——是你建议的。
Yeah, I like that.
是的，我喜欢这样。
But you'll give me an honest reaction.
但你会给我一个诚实的反应。
I'm happy to do it, but-- I mean, what are you looking for from-- what do you want to hear from him?
我很乐意这样做，但是——我的意思是，你想从他那里得到什么——你想从他那里听到什么？
I miss my brother.
我想念我的兄弟。
I would like to see him.
我想见见他。
OK.
好的。
Buzz Goldstein You understand?
巴兹·戈德斯坦 你明白吗？
And you come back on me with an honest evaluation.
然后你就以诚实的评价回到我身边。
That was quite a shock getting your phone call.
接到你的电话真是太震惊了。
You said Jon, and I--
你说乔恩，而我——
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein My hearing is not that great.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我的听力不太好。
OK.
好的。
Sheldon Goldstein And when I heard the first message I'm saying, who the heck is that?
谢尔登·戈德斯坦：当我听到第一条消息时，我说，那到底是谁？
I don't know anybody by that name.
我不认识叫这个名字的人。
Sheldon now lives outside of Fort Lauderdale, but my few memories of him are from when he lived in upstate New York.
谢尔顿现在住在劳德代尔堡郊外，但我对他的一些记忆是他住在纽约州北部时的。
I remember he lived in a trailer.
我记得他住在拖车里。
I remember that he worked at a local prison, that he smoked cigars, that he looked a little like my father, but was hunched like the world was weighing down on him.
我记得他在当地的一所监狱工作，他抽雪茄，他看起来有点像我父亲，但驼背，好像整个世界都压在他身上。
And he always wore this expression on his face that seemed to say, you got to be kidding me.
他脸上总是带着这样的表情，似乎在说，你一定是在跟我开玩笑。
You're keeping OK?
你还好吗？
You're keeping occupied?
你还忙着吗？
Yeah.
是的。
I read a lot.
我读了很多。
I go to the gym.
我去健身房。
I go shopping, you know, here and there, little things here and there.
我到处购物，你知道，到处都是小东西。
And so you still go-- how often do you go to the gym?
所以你仍然去——你多久去一次健身房？
Three times a week.
每周三次。
Jonathan Goldstein My father also goes to the gym.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 我的父亲也去健身房。
That's a part of his routine also.
这也是他日常工作的一部分。
He was happy to hear from you on his 80th birthday.
他很高兴在他 80 岁生日那天收到你的来信。
Yeah.
是的。
Well, he didn't call me on my 85th though.
好吧，虽然我 85 岁了，他没有给我打电话。
Tit, meet tat.
泰特，遇见泰特。
Sheldon Goldstein To be honest with you, I've been-- in the last few years, I've been a loner.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦：老实说，在过去的几年里，我一直是一个孤独的人。
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Sheldon Goldstein You would basically almost call me a recluse.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦（Sheldon Goldstein）你基本上几乎会称我为隐士。
I don't socialize with many people.
我不与很多人交往。
And I really don't give a damn what anybody thinks.
我真的不在乎别人怎么想。
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein And contrary to popular belief, I like being alone by myself.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦 与普遍看法相反，我喜欢独自一人。
I get along with myself very well.
我和自己相处得很好。
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein Look, I don't want to be rude--
谢尔登·戈德斯坦：听着，我不想无礼——
Yeah, yeah.
是啊，是啊。
Sheldon Goldstein --or anything, but I want to go have my lunch.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦——或者什么，但我想去吃午饭。
Yeah.
是的。
Jonathan Goldstein It's fine.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 没关系。
Sheldon, I appreciate your talking to me.
谢尔顿，我很高兴你跟我说话。
And you would be amenable to spending some time?
您愿意花一些时间吗？
Why not?
为什么不呢？
We are brothers.
我们是兄弟。
I mean, we're not close or anything, but we're not going to have a chance to see each other much in the future.
我的意思是，我们关系并不亲密，但我们以后不会有太多见面的机会。
Yeah.
是的。
Is that anything that you think about?
你有这样的想法吗？
Not much, no. Buzz Goldstein Press where to-- and then type-- you have an address?
不多，没有。 Buzz Goldstein Press 到哪里——然后输入——你有地址吗？
My dad and I meet up at the Fort Lauderdale Airport.
我和爸爸在劳德代尔堡机场见面。
I flew from New York and my dad from Montreal.
我从纽约飞来，我爸爸从蒙特利尔飞来。
My father's all dressed up, wearing a faux suede sports jacket that I've never seen him in.
我父亲盛装打扮，穿着一件我从未见过他穿的人造麂皮运动夹克。
We grab our airport rental and prepare for the two-hour drive to Sheldon.
我们租了机场租金，准备两小时车程前往谢尔顿。
In the 90-degree heat, it's immediately made clear that faux suede might not have been the best fashion choice.
在 90 度的高温下，人们立即意识到人造麂皮可能不是最好的时尚选择。
It's like we're on a safari.
这就像我们在狩猎一样。
[CAR DOOR SHUTTING]
[车门关闭]
On the road to Sheldon's, my father will experience a spectrum of feelings.
在去谢尔顿家的路上，父亲会经历一系列的感受。
As we first set out, there's excitement.
当我们第一次出发时，大家都很兴奋。
My brother was funny in a lot of ways.
我哥哥在很多方面都很有趣。
I could laugh.
我可以笑。
We're going to have laughs with him.
我们要和他一起欢笑。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
He's a very funny man.
他是一个非常有趣的人。
A half an hour in and there's bitterness.
半小时后，就感觉很苦涩。
We invited him to your bar mitzvah.
我们邀请他参加你们的成人礼。
And he returned a very cold card.
他还回了一张非常冷淡的卡片。
Sorry, we will not be attending.
抱歉，我们不会参加。
It was so mean, you know what I mean, even the writing.
这太卑鄙了，你知道我的意思，甚至是写作。
I'm relaxed.
我很放松。
Jonathan Goldstein Oh, good.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 哦，很好。
Kind of old to get anxious, you know what I mean?
有点老了，变得焦虑，你明白我的意思吗？
Yeah.
是的。
10 minutes to Sheldon's and Buzz is feeling--
距谢尔顿餐厅 10 分钟路程，巴兹感觉——
All right.
好吧。
Jonathan Goldstein Yeah?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 是吗？
You feeling a little--
你感觉有点——
It's going to be strange.
这会很奇怪。
Jonathan Goldstein Yeah.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 是的。
It's going to be very strange.
这会很奇怪。
I mean, the man is a stranger to me now, and yet he's my brother.
我的意思是，这个人现在对我来说是陌生人，但他是我的兄弟。
You understand?
你明白吗？
It's a very strange feeling.
这是一种非常奇怪的感觉。
Yeah.
是的。
Buzz Goldstein I wonder if he's getting nervous.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 我想知道他是否感到紧张。
Maybe.
或许。
Buzz Goldstein Course, he's waiting for us, right?
巴兹·戈德斯坦球场，他正在等我们，对吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon lives in the corner house on a quiet, suburban street.
谢尔顿住在郊区一条安静街道上的街角房子里。
Ring the bell.
按响门铃。
Buzz Goldstein I guess.
我猜是巴兹·戈德斯坦。
Is this his door?
这是他的门吗？
Hello.
你好。
Hi.
你好。
Buzz Goldstein Good to see you.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 很高兴见到你。
And this is Jonathan?
这是乔纳森？
Jonathan Goldstein Good to see you, yeah.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 很高兴见到你，是的。
Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你。
Come in.
进来吧。
Buzz Goldstein Come here.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 过来。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Sheldon Goldstein Lately I've become a monk, me and my pussycat.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦 最近我和我的小猫咪成了一名和尚。
Oh, you got a cat.
哦，你有一只猫。
Sheldon Goldstein Oh, come here.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 噢，过来。
What?
什么？
After all the years, and the worry, and the dread, things seem to be going swimmingly.
经过这么多年的担心和恐惧，事情似乎进展顺利。
We sit down at Sheldon's kitchen table, and my father gets right into it.
我们在谢尔顿的餐桌旁坐下，我父亲就开始参与其中。
Now there's things I want to know.
现在我想知道一些事情。
You said that Rainey died.
你说雷尼死了。
The dead are a good place to begin.
死者是一个很好的起点。
As a subject, they're easily agreed upon and not likely to spark a fight.
作为一个主题，它们很容易达成一致，并且不太可能引发争吵。
Yankel died.
扬克尔死了。
Buzz Goldstein Yankel died?
巴兹·戈尔茨坦·扬克尔死了吗？
He was the youngest brother.
他是最小的兄弟。
Oh, he died long ago.
哦，他很久以前就死了。
Buzz Goldstein He died, eh?
巴兹·戈德斯坦 他死了，是吗？
Well, you know who died?
那么，你知道谁死了吗？
Hoffman, a real [BLEEP].
霍夫曼，一个真正的[BLEEP]。
Buzz Goldstein Yeah.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 是的。
I didn't know him that well.
我不太了解他。
I didn't [BLEEP].
我没有[哔]。
Yeah.
是的。
Oh, that's shocking.
哦，这太令人震惊了。
Sheldon Goldstein Yeah.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 是的。
He was fat.
他很胖。
He was fat-- redhead.
他很胖——红头发。
Sheldon Goldstein Redhead, right.
红发谢尔登·戈尔茨坦，右。
Yeah, Kanish.
是的，卡尼什。
Yeah.
是的。
Remember Johnny?
还记得约翰尼吗？
Johnny was a sex maniac.
约翰尼是一个性狂。
Johnny, oh, he would [BLEEP] a dog on the street.
约翰尼，哦，他会在街上[哔哔]一只狗。
If he saw the dog, he'd try to [BLEEP].
如果他看到那只狗，他会尝试[发出哔哔声]。
I'd like a beer.
我想要一杯啤酒。
Jonathan Goldstein Yeah, sure.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 是的，当然。
I'll have a beer.
我要一杯啤酒。
Even though they're in their 80s, Sheldon and Buzz still possess voices and temperaments suited to shouting out Brooklyn tenement windows, while my voice--
尽管谢尔顿和巴兹已经 80 多岁了，但他们的声音和气质仍然适合对着布鲁克林公寓的窗户大喊大叫，而我的声音——
--is best suited to asking a waitress if there will be a sharing charge.
--最适合询问女服务员是否需要分摊费用。
[BLEEP] Jonathan Goldstein Forgot about that.
[BLEEP] 乔纳森·戈尔茨坦忘了这一点。
Sorry.
对不起。
Case in point, this is Sheldon accidentally swiping a portable microphone receiver off the kitchen table and me trying to smooth things over.
举个例子，谢尔顿不小心把便携式麦克风接收器从厨房的桌子上掉下来，而我则试图平息事情。
Just take it off, would you please?
请把它脱下来好吗？
Thank you.
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Over the next two days, my testes will flee like frightened cockroaches upward, ascending to heights not seen since the bar mitzvah that Sheldon was not attending.
在接下来的两天里，我的睾丸将像受惊的蟑螂一样向上逃跑，上升到自谢尔顿没有参加成人礼以来从未见过的高度。
While it's fun watching them reminisce, I'd say that about 80% of my Uncle Sheldon's stories about the good old days are filthy enough to make them virtually unbroadcastable.
虽然看着他们回忆起来很有趣，但我想说，我谢尔顿叔叔关于过去美好时光的故事中，大约 80% 都非常肮脏，几乎无法播放。
But here's one specially selected and beeped for your delicate ears.
但这里有一款专门为您娇嫩的耳朵精心挑选并发出蜂鸣声的。
Wally Rosen, wonder whatever became of him.
沃利·罗森，想知道他怎么样了。
He was a bum.
他是个流浪汉。
Me and Wally Rosen were joining the weightlifting club.
我和沃利·罗森加入了举重俱乐部。
So you had to be tested for a rupture.
所以你必须接受破裂测试。
I remember he put his hand [BLEEP].
我记得他把手放了[哔]。
I started laughing so hard I [BLEEP] right in his [BLEEP].
我开始笑得很厉害，我就在他的[BLEEP]中[BLEEP]。
Over the years, I've seen my father in the role of husband, uncle, and grandfather, but I've never really seen him in the role of younger brother.
这些年来，我见过父亲扮演丈夫、叔叔、祖父的角色，但从未真正见过他扮演弟弟的角色。
How odd to see it now at 80.
现在已经80岁了，看到这一切真是太奇怪了。
He sits beside Sheldon with this expression I've never seen on his face.
他坐在谢尔顿旁边，脸上带着我从未见过的表情。
It's wide-eyed, sweet, and deferential.
它睁大眼睛，甜美而恭敬。
But as the day wears on, Sheldon and Buzz begin to squabble over their memories, fighting over every little detail.
但随着时间的流逝，谢尔顿和巴兹开始为他们的记忆争吵，为每一个小细节争吵。
Remember the hullabaloo we had with the hair dyer, that heavyset girl?
还记得我们在吹风机时吵闹的那个身材魁梧的女孩吗？
A manicurist.
一名美甲师。
Buzz Goldstein She was a hair dyer.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 她是一名染发师。
Manicurist.
美甲师。
Buzz Goldstein No, she was a hair dyer.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 不，她是一名染发师。
Here's what happened.
事情是这样的。
She went over to Irving's--
她去了欧文家——
They even argue over the death of their grandmother.
他们甚至为祖母的死而争论。
I found her body.
我找到了她的尸体。
Sheldon Goldstein I did.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我做到了。
I opened the door-- no. Sheldon Goldstein I did.
我打开门——不。谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我做到了。
My mother was across the street at Greenberg's.
我母亲就在街对面的格林伯格家。
I remember walking in-- Buzz Goldstein I looked in on her.
我记得走进巴兹·戈德斯坦时我看着她。
--and I knew she was dead as soon as I saw her.
——我一看到她就知道她死了。
I never saw a dead body in my life, but I knew she was dead.
我一生中从未见过尸体，但我知道她已经死了。
Sure.
当然。
So, wait.
所以，等等。
So you found her, or you found her?
所以你找到了她，还是你找到了她？
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Buzz Goldstein It was awfully quiet.
[插话]巴兹·戈德斯坦 非常安静。
I found her, but let him take the credit.
我找到了她，但让他把功劳占了。
Some credit.
一些功劳。
Jonathan Goldstein The whole afternoon is like this.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 整个下午都是这样。
Every subject, even their dead grandmother, somehow becomes fodder for another pissing match.
每个主题，甚至是他们死去的祖母，都会以某种方式成为另一场小便比赛的素材。
They're burning up all this time with small talk when what they need is some big talk.
当他们需要的是一些大话时，他们总是热衷于闲聊。
In particular, they need to address a story that I know holds a great deal of meaning for my father.
特别是，他们需要讲述一个我知道对我父亲来说意义重大的故事。
It took place in 1939 on the day their mother left them.
事情发生在 1939 年，那天他们的母亲离开了他们。
I've only ever heard the story from my father, never from Sheldon.
我只从我父亲那里听过这个故事，从来没有从谢尔顿那里听过。
I wanted to ask what you remember, your perspective.
我想问你还记得什么，你的观点。
Well, I remember that time was when Pop was smacking her around, and she ran out in the hall in her slip.
嗯，我记得当时爸爸正在打她，她就穿着衬衣跑到了大厅里。
Fighting in the hall.
大厅内打斗。
Sheldon Goldstein No. He was smacking her around.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦 不。他正在打她。
Smacking her around, yeah.
打她周围，是的。
Sheldon Goldstein She ran out.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 她跑了出去。
Yeah.
是的。
So what happened the next morning?
那么第二天早上发生了什么？
The next morning?
第二天早上？
Buzz Goldstein Yeah.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 是的。
Look in the closet.
看看衣柜里。
Her clothes were gone.
她的衣服不见了。
She left.
她离开了。
Oh.
哦。
Jonathan Goldstein What happened after this, in my father's telling, is that his mother returned soon after she left with a policeman in tow.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦 根据我父亲的说法，此后发生的事情是，他的母亲带着一名警察离开后不久就回来了。
And they came back to try to get you.
他们回来试图抓住你。
They wanted you to come back with them.
他们希望你和他们一起回来。
And where were you?
你在哪里？
Buzz Goldstein I was there.
巴兹·戈德斯坦我当时也在场。
They were trying to drag you out of the house.
他们试图把你拖出房子。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
No, no, no. I could stay with my father and grandmother.
不，不，不。我可以和我的父亲和祖母住在一起。
This is the point of the story for my father.
这就是我父亲的故事的要点。
It proves once and for all how his mother loved Sheldon more than she loved him.
这一劳永逸地证明了他的母亲爱谢尔顿胜过爱他。
Sheldon didn't move out with her.
谢尔顿没有和她一起搬出去。
And after a year, their mother returned.
一年后，他们的母亲回来了。
And together Buzz and Sheldon grew up under the same roof, in the same bedroom, often sleeping under the same blanket, each knowing who the mother had chosen, and each having to do their best to carry on and live life with the burden of that knowledge.
巴兹和谢尔顿一起在同一个屋檐下、同一个卧室里长大，经常睡在同一张毯子下，每个人都知道母亲选择了谁，并且每个人都必须尽最大努力背负着这些知识的负担继续生活。
A couple times during the day, I asked them why they haven't spoken in so long.
白天我有几次问他们为什么这么久没有说话。
And they both insist, maybe out of embarrassment, that they do talk, just not often.
也许是出于尴尬，他们都坚持认为他们确实会说话，只是不经常说话。
But it isn't true.
但这不是真的。
In fact, my father learned of Sheldon's wife's death many years after the fact and then only from me.
事实上，我父亲是在多年后才从我那里得知谢尔顿妻子去世的消息的。
Sheldon's daughter got in touch through Facebook, and we made a phone date where she caught me up on her life and Sheldon's.
谢尔顿的女儿通过 Facebook 取得了联系，我们进行了电话约会，她向我讲述了她和谢尔顿的生活。
And a few nights later while over at my parents' for dinner, I told my father of his sister-in-law's death.
几天后的晚上，当我去父母家吃晚饭时，我告诉父亲他嫂子的死讯。
There was a terrible look that fell across his face, one of sadness, but something else too, maybe shock over just how far he and Sheldon had drifted.
他的脸上流露出一种可怕的表情，一种悲伤，但也有其他的东西，也许是对他和谢尔顿已经走得太远感到震惊。
I found out about Judy, about her death.
我知道了朱迪的事，知道了她的死讯。
I didn't know about it either until you told me.
在你告诉我之前我也不知道这件事。
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein Didn't I tell you?
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦：我没告诉过你吗？
No. Sheldon Goldstein You didn't know about it?
不，谢尔顿·戈德斯坦（Sheldon Goldstein）你不知道吗？
She was sick about two years, Judy.
她病了大约两年了，朱迪。
Well, when she got the diagnosis, she was already stage four.
好吧，当她得到诊断时，她已经处于第四阶段了。
What did I know about cancer?
我对癌症了解多少？
So the surgeon-- so I said, well, doc, how did the surgery go?
所以外科医生——所以我说，好吧，医生，手术进行得怎么样？
Oh, he said, it went very well.
哦，他说，进展顺利。
But the cancer's in her liver now.
但癌症现在已经在她的肝脏里了。
Oh.
哦。
It spread.
它传播开来。
Sheldon Goldstein I said, it's in her liver?
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我说，它在她的肝脏里？
I said, what?
我说，什么？
You know where I usually eat when I come in by myself?
你知道我一个人进来时通常在哪里吃饭吗？
By the bar.
在酒吧旁边。
They've got a waitress there who always waits on me.
他们那里有一个女服务员，她总是在等我。
She takes good care of me.
她很照顾我。
For dinner, Sheldon takes us to a local Outback Steakhouse.
晚餐时，谢尔顿带我们去当地的一家内陆牛排馆。
As people walk by, he provides a running commentary of an elderly couple--
当人们走过时，他对一对老年夫妇进行了连续的评论——
Don't get like that couple, whatever you do.
不管你做什么，都不要像那对夫妇那样。
It's time for the execution.
到了行刑的时间了。
--of an overweight couple.
——一对超重的夫妇。
Sheldon Goldstein Boy, are they fat.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦男孩，他们胖吗？
People are fat today.
今天的人都胖了。
It's as though he's sharpening his wit, readying it for the main event, teasing my dad about Canada.
就好像他正在磨练自己的智慧，为主要赛事做好准备，并用加拿大来取笑我爸爸。
I don't know how you could take Canada all year round.
我不知道你怎么能全年无休地带着加拿大。
Why?
为什么？
We've got nice neighbors.
我们有很好的邻居。
It's nice.
很好。
It's OK.
没关系。
What was I going to say?
我要说什么？
You're living in the same place for how many years?
你们在同一个地方住了多少年了？
Oh, about-- over 35, 38 years, something like that.
哦，大约——超过 35、38 岁，类似的事情。
I'm happy there.
我在那里很高兴。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
For my father, I know this is a touchy subject, believing, as he always has, that Sheldon looks down on him for the dinkiness of his Canadian life and home.
对于我的父亲来说，我知道这是一个敏感的话题，我相信，正如他一贯的那样，谢尔顿因为他在加拿大的生活和家庭的肮脏而看不起他。
It's like a constant reminder of just who is second best.
这就像不断提醒我们谁是第二好。
Later, my father will repeat Sheldon's words.
稍后，父亲会重复谢尔顿的话。
You're still living in that same place, he'll say, for how many years?
他会说，你还住在同一个地方多少年了？
But just then, I watched my father clench and unclench his jaw, as he does when he is brooding.
但就在那时，我看到父亲咬紧牙关又松开牙关，就像他沉思时那样。
I know he's trying to take the high road, trying not to ruin the evening.
我知道他想走正路，不想破坏这个夜晚。
Sheldon invites us back to his place for cookies, but my father says he isn't up for it.
谢尔顿邀请我们去他家吃饼干，但我父亲说他不愿意。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Good night.
晚安。
Sheldon Goldstein Yep.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 是的。
As we walk through the restaurant parking lot to the car, my father is silent.
当我们穿过餐厅停车场走向汽车时，父亲沉默了。
I find myself feeling protective of him, like maybe encouraging this trip had been a bad idea, only making things worse.
我发现自己对他产生了保护欲，好像鼓励这次旅行可能是一个坏主意，只会让事情变得更糟。
After midnight, lying awake in our hotel-- my father insisted we stay at one-- I lay in bed thinking about that day in 1939 when my grandmother came back for Sheldon, not my father.
午夜过后，我躺在酒店里，睡不着觉——我父亲坚持让我们住其中——我躺在床上，想着 1939 年的那一天，当时我的祖母回来找谢尔顿，而不是我的父亲。
For my father, not only did it push him away from Sheldon, making him feel jealous and resentful, but it also cast a shadow over the rest of his life, causing him to always feel passed over.
对于父亲来说，这不仅让他远离了谢尔顿，让他感到嫉妒和怨恨，也给他的余生蒙上了阴影，让他总觉得自己被忽视了。
He's mellowed with age, but as a kid I saw it come out in all kinds of ways-- always sensitive to slights, ready for a fight at the smallest perceived offense.
随着年龄的增长，他变得成熟起来，但作为一个孩子，我看到它以各种方式表现出来——总是对轻视很敏感，准备好为最小的感知冒犯而打架。
I wonder if there's a different way for my father to see things.
我想知道我父亲是否有不同的看待事物的方式。
If there is, the only living person in this world who can help is Sheldon.
如果有的话，这个世界上唯一能提供帮助的活着的人就是谢尔顿。
When their mom left, Sheldon was nine, my father five.
当他们的妈妈离开时，谢尔顿九岁，我父亲五岁。
Sheldon would have understood a lot more than my father.
谢尔顿比我父亲更能理解。
Yesterday, Buzz and Sheldon talked like a couple of kids who used to play stickball in the old neighborhood.
昨天，巴兹和谢尔顿的谈话就像两个在老邻居玩棒球的孩子一样。
Today, if me and my big fat meddling yap have any sway, they'll have a chance to talk as men, as brothers even.
今天，如果我和我那爱管闲事的大胖子有任何影响力，他们就有机会像男人、甚至像兄弟一样交谈。
Because if not now, when?
因为如果不是现在，更待何时？
Day two.
第二天。
This is a damn good cigar.
这是一支非常好的雪茄。
Sheldon Goldstein He sent me--
谢尔登·戈德斯坦 他派我——
Oh, Dominican Republic.
哦，多米尼加共和国。
They make a damn good cigar in Dominican Republic.
他们在多米尼加共和国生产非常好的雪茄。
What are you talking about?
你在说什么？
Despite the difficulties of last night, the coin is flipped back to the good side.
尽管昨晚遇到了困难，但硬币又回到了好的一面。
Sheldon offers my father a cigar and with the cigar some cigar talk, some pretty foul cigar talk.
谢尔顿给了我父亲一支雪茄，并一边喝着雪茄一边聊着雪茄，一些非常肮脏的雪茄聊。
We're riding on Queens Boulevard.
我们正行驶在皇后大道上。
Johnny's in the back seat with The Who.
约翰尼和 The Who 一起坐在后座。
He's got his naked ass up in the air.
他把赤裸的屁股举在空中。
And he's humping--
他正在驼背——
[LAUGHS] Sheldon Goldstein The funny thing is we had to stop for a light.
[笑]谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 有趣的是我们不得不停下来等红绿灯。
And there's a truck driver sitting in the cab up high.
驾驶室里高高地坐着一名卡车司机。
God, that was funny.
天哪，这太有趣了。
What?
什么？
Jonathan Goldstein Do you miss each other?
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦 你们想念彼此吗？
You know, he asks the weirdest questions.
你知道，他问的问题都是最奇怪的。
What is he, a broad?
他是什么，大佬？
No. I mean-- I don't know.
不，我的意思是——我不知道。
Eager to prove to my Uncle Sheldon that in spite of the fact I'm wearing my wife's travel deodorant, I am indeed not a broad.
我渴望向我的谢尔顿叔叔证明，尽管我穿着我妻子的旅行除臭剂，但我确实不是一个女人。
I allow them to return to more pressing matters, their prostates.
我让他们回到更紧迫的问题，他们的前列腺。
The guy says, Jesus.
那家伙说，耶稣。
He says, your prostate feels like the moon craters in there.
他说，你的前列腺感觉就像月球上的陨石坑。
I said thank you, Doctor.
我说谢谢你，医生。
Thought he was complimenting me.
以为他是在夸我。
So if I could steer this away from the prostates-- so my father said that it's significant to him to have come.
所以如果我能把它从前列腺上转移开——所以我父亲说这对他来说意义重大。
What do you say?
你怎么说？
But what about you?
但你呢？
Sheldon Goldstein I said I agree with whatever he said.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我说过我同意他所说的一切。
Do you want a written contract?
您想要一份书面合同吗？
No, no. I'm happy with that.
不，不。我对此很满意。
It feels like I'm getting a taste of what growing up with Sheldon might have been like.
感觉就像我正在尝尝和谢尔顿一起长大的滋味。
So again, I make my move.
所以，我再次采取行动。
So I have some questions just about-- because of the stories that I know from my father, but I'm curious what your take is because you were older.
所以我有一些问题——因为我从父亲那里知道的故事，但我很好奇你的看法是什么，因为你年纪大了。
Do you remember what was going on when your mom-- when your mother left originally, like why and what was going on?
你还记得你妈妈最初离开时发生了什么，比如为什么以及发生了什么吗？
Didn't you cover this ground before yesterday?
昨天之前你没有讲过这个话题吗？
But from my father's perspective, the way I understood it was always you were the favorite.
但从我父亲的角度来看，我理解的方式始终是你是最爱。
Did you feel that way?
你有这样的感觉吗？
At this point, Sheldon's face suddenly softens.
说到这里，谢尔顿的脸色突然柔和下来。
I always felt that I got the short end of the stick.
我总觉得自己吃亏了。
Yeah, but you were kind of a favorite with my mom.
是的，但你是我妈妈最喜欢的人。
Yeah, maybe with Mom 'cause maybe temperamentally we were closer than I was with my father.
是的，也许是和妈妈在一起，因为也许在性格上我们比我和父亲更亲近。
My father never gave me spit.
我父亲从来不向我吐口水。
Did you ever get any money from my father?
你从我父亲那里得到过钱吗？
Can't remember.
不记得了。
Sheldon Goldstein You never got a dime.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 你一分钱都没拿到。
No, can't remember.
不，不记得了。
Sheldon Goldstein You never-- one time I sprained my ankle so bad.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦（Sheldon Goldstein）你从来没有——有一次我把脚踝扭伤得很厉害。
Oh, I'll never forget that.
哦，我永远不会忘记这一点。
That was terrible.
那太可怕了。
I laid in that bed.
我躺在那张床上。
And he says to me, you lazy bum.
他对我说，你这个懒惰的流浪汉。
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein Man, he went off on me that time.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦 曼，那次他对我发火了。
Whoo.
呼。
He took Sheldon once.
他带过谢尔顿一次。
Sheldon happened to say the word [BLEEP].
谢尔顿碰巧说出了[BLEEP]这个词。
He came in with that [BLEEP] strap swinging with the buckle.
他进来时，[BLEEP]带子随着带扣摆动。
And I can understand it leaving a feeling of resentment and dislike.
我可以理解它会留下一种怨恨和厌恶的感觉。
That was his way of communicating with us-- smack, smack, and then--
这就是他与我们交流的方式——咂咂，咂咂，然后——
What a way.
多好的办法啊。
Yeah.
是的。
Jonathan Goldstein Was he easier on you, do you think?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 你觉得他对你比较轻松吗？
He wasn't that easy, but he was tough on Sheldon.
他并不那么容易相处，但他对谢尔顿很严厉。
I know you were closer to him than I was.
我知道你比我和他更亲近。
Yeah.
是的。
Sheldon Goldstein A lot of things that went on and you didn't understand really what was going on.
谢尔登·戈德斯坦：发生了很多事情，但你并不真正了解发生了什么。
No, I didn't.
不，我没有。
So you had a different take?
那么你有不同的看法吗？
Why?
为什么？
Are you surprised by-- Buzz Goldstein But I was a kid.
你对巴兹·戈德斯坦感到惊讶吗？但我还是个孩子。
I didn't understand it.
我不明白。
But you didn't know that Sheldon was getting it so bad?
但你不知道谢尔顿的处境如此糟糕吗？
No. Jonathan Goldstein In Buzz's telling, their father was always a more or less benign, childish figure incapable of expressing his feelings and so given to temper tantrums.
不。乔纳森·戈德斯坦 在巴兹的讲述中，他们的父亲总是一个多少有些仁慈、孩子气的人物，无法表达自己的感受，因此容易发脾气。
For Buzz, it was their mother who was the manipulator, the woman who played the brothers off each other.
对于巴兹来说，他们的母亲才是操纵者，是一个让兄弟俩互相欺负的女人。
But hearing Sheldon's take, it sounds like maybe their mother didn't come to take Sheldon because she loved him best, but simply because he needed more protecting from their father.
但听谢尔顿的说法，听起来也许他们的母亲来接谢尔顿并不是因为她最爱他，而仅仅是因为他需要更多的保护，免受他们的父亲的伤害。
For the first time during our trip, I can see my father considering Sheldon's point of view, actually taking it in.
在我们的旅行中，我第一次看到父亲考虑谢尔顿的观点，并真正接受它。
I know it's intense for him because he can't even meet Sheldon's eyes.
我知道这对他来说很紧张，因为他甚至无法直视谢尔顿的眼睛。
Instead, he looks at me, addresses his comments to me.
相反，他看着我，向我发表了他的评论。
It sad that my father had such a negative impact on him, just awful.
可悲的是我父亲给他带来了如此负面的影响，太糟糕了。
Because he had so much going for him.
因为他有太多的事情要做。
He was a wonderful son.
他是一个很棒的儿子。
He worked hard.
他工作很努力。
He was a good boy.
他是个好孩子。
He went to school.
他去上学了。
You're talking like I'm a failure in life.
你说得好像我是人生的失败者一样。
No, you weren't a failure.
不，你不是一个失败者。
That's the thing that I'm saying.
这就是我要说的。
No, I am.
不，我是。
Buzz Goldstein You weren't a failure.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 你并不是一个失败者。
But all I'm saying is that emotionally he left an impact on you.
但我想说的是，他在情感上给你留下了影响。
It took a long time for me to get out of that emotion.
我花了很长时间才从那种情绪中走出来。
And now I'm at peace with myself.
现在我对自己很平静。
I can talk about him and laugh about it.
我可以谈论他并嘲笑他。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Sheldon Goldstein Now I want peace, quiet.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦现在我想要平静，安静。
I'm happy living by myself.
我一个人生活很开心。
Are you lonely, Sheldon?
你孤独吗，谢尔顿？
Sheldon Goldstein No.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 No.
No?
没有？
Jonathan Goldstein The last time my father saw my grandfather in full health, my dad was visiting from Canada.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦（Jonathan Goldstein） 我父亲最后一次见到完全健康的祖父是在我父亲从加拿大来探望我的时候。
My grandfather asked my father to drive him to the cemetery to visit his parents' grave.
祖父让父亲开车送他去墓地给父母扫墓。
And once there, my grandfather wept inconsolably.
一到那里，我的祖父就伤心地哭泣。
Later that day, he would succumb to a stroke and shortly after be moved to a nursing home.
当天晚些时候，他因中风去世，不久后被转移到疗养院。
With Sheldon being more local, the burden of my grandfather's care fell mainly to Sheldon.
由于谢尔顿更加本地化，照顾祖父的负担主要落在了谢尔顿身上。
It seems like a lot of the family's burdens fell to Sheldon.
看起来家庭的很多负担都落在了谢尔顿身上。
They put a lot of the responsibility on him that my dad should have been taking that responsibility.
他们让他承担了很多责任，而我父亲应该承担这个责任。
And he shouldered that.
他承担了这个任务。
Who was going to take care of you?
谁来照顾你？
Who was going to take you to school?
谁要送你去学校？
[INAUDIBLE] I remember one time I was late or something.
[听不清] 我记得有一次我迟到了。
You stood outside that screen door, crying.
你站在纱门外哭泣。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Sheldon Goldstein I'd say, Buzzy, I'm here.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 我会说，巴兹，我在这儿。
I'm here.
我在这儿。
He was good to me.
他对我很好。
A lot of times he was good to me.
很多时候他对我都很好。
Mean, you know-- you were my older brother.
意思是，你知道——你是我的哥哥。
You used to knock the [BLEEP] out of me sometimes, but that's the way it is with brothers.
有时你会让我感到[BLEEP]，但兄弟之间就是这样。
Yeah.
是的。
I was good in some ways.
我在某些方面表现很好。
Some ways I was mean.
在某些方面我很刻薄。
Well, who is not?
那么，谁不是呢？
Who is not?
谁不是？
Who is not?
谁不是？
So if you feel like you were compelled to see each other now because you knew that it's a now or never kind of thing, then it means that it was important to you both, right, to see each other.
因此，如果您觉得现在不得不见面，因为您知道这是机不可失的事，那么这意味着见面对你们俩都很重要，对吧。
You want to take that?
你想拿那个吗？
Buzz Goldstein Sure.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 当然。
I'm not.
我不是。
Go ahead.
前进。
Buzz Goldstein Yes.
巴兹·戈德斯坦 是的。
It's an easy answer-- yes.
答案很简单——是的。
Yes, because we're not getting any younger.
是的，因为我们不再年轻了。
What's down the road?
路上有什么？
I'm 80.
我80岁了。
He's 85.
他85岁了。
I mean, because there was a lot of water under the bridge, and we want to close that bridge now.
我的意思是，因为桥下有很多水，我们现在想关闭那座桥。
I want to feel easy now.
我现在想要感觉轻松。
I want to say now he's going to be 86, I want to call him on his birthday and say happy birthday to him now.
我想说现在他就86岁了，我想在他生日那天给他打电话，祝他生日快乐。
I'm not going to stand any [BLEEP] ceremonies anymore.
我不会再忍受任何[BLEEP]仪式。
As my father speaks, as per his brother's example, dropping F bombs like he's in a Guy Ritchie film, Sheldon keeps his arms crossed and his eyes shut tight.
当我父亲说话时，就像他哥哥的例子一样，像盖·里奇电影中那样投下F炸弹，谢尔顿双臂交叉，眼睛紧闭。
He's quiet for several seconds, and then he reaches out to pet his cat.
他安静了几秒钟，然后伸手抚摸他的猫。
Should I leave you the cat in my will if anything happens?
如果发生什么事，我应该把猫留在遗嘱里吗？
If anything happens, I'll take care of the cat.
如果发生什么事，我会照顾猫。
I'll take care of the cat.
我会照顾猫的。
[LAUGHS] Buzz Goldstein I'm happy I came to see you.
[笑]巴兹·戈德斯坦 我很高兴能来看你。
That I am.
我就是这样。
I'm happy you came here.
我很高兴你来到这里。
That's good, very good.
这很好，非常好。
If either of you want to buy a house, that one is for sale over there.
如果你们中的任何一个想买房子，那栋房子就在那里出售。
When it's time to leave, Sheldon walks us outside.
离开的时候，谢尔顿带我们出去。
But before we get into the rental, he points across the lawn to his neighbor's house.
但在我们进入出租屋之前，他指着草坪对面他邻居的房子。
He tells my father that it's for sale, and then he tells him the asking price.
他告诉我父亲，它正在出售，然后告诉他要价。
And my father says that doesn't sound bad at all.
我父亲说这听起来一点也不坏。
And Sheldon says that, what, with Canada being so bloody cold, my father should consider moving to Florida.
谢尔顿说，加拿大这么冷，我父亲应该考虑搬到佛罗里达去。
And my father says maybe he will.
我父亲说也许他会的。
All right.
好的。
You take care.
你保重。
Sheldon Goldstein Water under the bridge.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦桥下的水。
Take care.
小心。
Sheldon Goldstein Take care, you too.
谢尔顿·戈德斯坦 保重，你也一样。
Safe trip, both of yous.
旅途平安，你们俩。
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢，谢谢。
We'll speak.
我们会说话。
We'll speak.
我们会说话。
They don't get too emotional.
他们不会太情绪化。
They don't even hug goodbye.
他们甚至没有拥抱告别。
They just shake hands.
他们只是握手。
And with that, it feels like Buzz has forgiven Sheldon and Sheldon has forgiven Buzz.
就这样，感觉就像巴兹原谅了谢尔顿，谢尔顿也原谅了巴兹。
Oh my god.
我的天啊。
I feel so different now, you know that?
我现在感觉很不同，你知道吗？
I feel different, Johnny.
我感觉不一样了，约翰尼。
I just feel so different.
我只是感觉很不同。
This has taken a lot off my shoulders, you know?
这让我的肩膀减轻了很多，你知道吗？
Jonathan Goldstein.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦。
This story was produced by Wendy Dorr with some help from Chris Neary for Jonathan's podcast, Heavyweight.
这个故事由温迪·多尔 (Wendy Dorr) 在克里斯·尼尔里 (Chris Neary) 的帮助下为乔纳森的播客《重量级》制作。
If you have never heard Heavyweight and don't know where to get started, I have to say, it is such an utterly original program.
如果你从未听过Heavyweight并且不知道从哪里开始，我不得不说，这是一个完全原创的节目。
And Jonathan has put together a playlist of his favorite episodes.
乔纳森整理了一个他最喜欢的剧集的播放列表。
Just search Heavyweight Starter Kit on Spotify.
只需在 Spotify 上搜索 Heavyweight Starter Kit 即可。
Jonathan, by the way, says his dad and Sheldon are doing fine under lockdown.
顺便说一句，乔纳森说他的父亲和谢尔顿在封锁期间表现得很好。
Sheldon says that he's happy with the peace and quiet.
谢尔顿说他对这里的和平与安静感到满意。
(SINGING) I still wonder how we got to this, how we pretend not to notice.
（唱歌）我仍然想知道我们是如何做到这一点的，我们如何假装没有注意到。
When today's program was first broadcast four years ago, produced by Robyn Semien.
今天的节目四年前首次播出，由罗宾·塞米恩 (Robyn Semien) 制作。
Our staff for this episode-- Elna Baker, Susan Burton, Zoe Chace, Dan Chivvis, Sean Cole, Neil Drumming, Karen Duffin, Emmanuel Dzotsi, Stephanie Foo, Chana Joffe Walt, David Kestenbaum, Miki Meek, Jonathan Menjivar, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Updike.
本集的工作人员包括 Elna Baker、Susan Burton、Zoe Chace、Dan Chivvis、Sean Cole、Neil Drumming、Karen Duffin、Emmanuel Dzotsi、Stephanie Foo、Chana Joffe Walt、David Kestenbaum、Miki Meek、Jonathan Menjivar、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Nancy Updike。
Production help for this rerun from Noor Gill, Katherine Rae Mondo, and Stowe Nelson.
诺尔·吉尔、凯瑟琳·雷·蒙多和斯托·尼尔森为这部重播剧提供了制作帮助。
Our translator for the wind phone was Kiku Matsuo.
我们的风电话翻译是 Kiku Matsuo。
Special thanks today to Emily Engle-Young, Brittany [INAUDIBLE], Dragana Novakovic, Helen Garey, Yuki Zaizen, Noriko Meek, Karin Jeffrey, John Matthews, Christine Fellows, Haley Shaw, and Lawrence Tassone.
今天特别感谢 Emily Engle-Young、Brittany [听不清]、Dragana Novakovic、Helen Garey、Yuki Zaizen、Noriko Meek、Karin Jeffrey、John Matthews、Christine Fellows、Haley Shaw 和 Lawrence Tassone。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where during lockdown or during your commute to your essential job you can listen to 700 episodes of our show for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，在封锁期间或在您上班途中，您可以完全免费收听我们的 700 集节目。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
Presidential debates are coming up later this year.
总统辩论将于今年晚些时候举行。
He tells everybody he knows why I'm never chosen to ask questions at the presidential debates.
他告诉每个他知道为什么我从未被选中在总统辩论中提问的人。
You know, he asks the weirdest questions.
你知道，他问的问题都是最奇怪的。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
(SINGING) Before I go, before I go, before I go.
（唱歌）在我走之前，在我走之前，在我走之前。
Before I go, before I go, before I go.
在我走之前，在我走之前，在我走之前。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。