681: Escape From the Lab - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #681 | August 16, 2019 681: Escape From the Lab Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 681 集 | 2019 年 8 月 16 日 681：逃离实验室 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass I think probably every two years, I read an article about some scientist who thinks there might be a way, building off chicken DNA or whatever, to figure out the DNA of dinosaurs and bring one to life.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 我想大概每隔两年，我就会读到一篇关于某位科学家的文章，他们认为可能有一种方法，可以利用鸡的 DNA 或其他东西来找出恐龙的 DNA，并赋予恐龙生命。
I feel like I run into these stories all the time.
我觉得我一直在遇到这些故事。
There were those scientists a couple years ago who were talking about how you could take Neanderthal DNA and use it to create new Neanderthals.
几年前，一些科学家正在讨论如何利用尼安德特人的 DNA 来创造新的尼安德特人。
Or this is, I think, the realest one going.
或者说，我认为这是最真实的。
I think this is an actual thing.
我认为这是一个真实的事情。
There's a team led by a Harvard scientist trying to bring back the woolly mammoth.
有一个由哈佛大学科学家领导的团队试图带回猛犸象。
That's right, the woolly mammoth.
没错，就是猛犸象。
And have herds of them tromping through the Siberian tundra.
让它们成群地穿越西伯利亚苔原。
That's the actual plan.
这就是实际的计划。
And can I just say, I know you scientists, you have your reasons.
我可以说，我了解你们科学家，你们有你们的理由。
But whenever I read this stuff, I think, did you guys not see Jurassic Park?
但每当我读到这些东西时，我就想，你们没看过侏罗纪公园吗？
Have we learned nothing from the movies?
我们从电影中没有学到什么吗？
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.
你们的科学家们如此全神贯注于他们是否可以，他们没有停下来思考他们是否应该这样做。
Thank you, Jeff Goldblum.
谢谢你，杰夫·高布伦。
Dr. Frankenstein collects the body parts of dead people, sews them together on a lab table, jolts them with some electricity-- very showy electricity, dare I say.
弗兰肯斯坦博士收集死人的身体部位，将它们缝合在一起放在实验室的桌子上，用一些电流震动它们——我敢说，非常华丽的电流。
The creature comes to life and then does things the scientist did not anticipate at all.
这种生物复活了，然后做了科学家根本没有预料到的事情。
Unintended consequences, my friends.
意想不到的后果，我的朋友们。
It's not just in the movies, by the way.
顺便说一句，这不仅仅是在电影中。
Of course, as we all know, discoveries in subatomic physics left the lab.
当然，众所周知，亚原子物理学的发现离开了实验室。
Decades later, we got nuclear bombs.
几十年后，我们得到了核弹。
Scientists constructed ways with computers to network with each other in the '60s.
20 世纪 60 年代，科学家们利用计算机构建了相互联网的方法。
Now, half a century later, we end up with the Russians trolling our elections through social media.
现在，半个世纪后，我们最终发现俄罗斯人通过社交媒体操纵我们的选举。
Cylons return to Caprica to kill all the humans who invented them.
赛昂人返回卡布里卡，杀死所有发明他们的人类。
OK, that one's not real.
好吧，那不是真的。
But my point is the same.
但我的观点是一样的。
Unintended consequences-- they happen when the experiment leaves the lab.
意想不到的后果——当实验离开实验室时就会发生。
And today on our show, we have three examples, three telling examples from three very different kinds of labs, one of them-- OK, one of those labs is actually just a laboratory of human feelings, but still.
今天在我们的节目中，我们有三个例子，三个来自三个截然不同的实验室的生动例子，其中一个——好吧，其中一个实验室实际上只是一个人类情感的实验室，但仍然如此。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One: Breakout Star Ira Glass Act One, Breakout Star.
第一幕：突破之星 艾拉·格拉斯 第一幕，突破之星。
OK, so we begin with this experiment gone wrong.
好的，我们从这个出错的实验开始。
Like I said, this is not a traditional experiment, not a traditional laboratory, but a laboratory of human emotion, one very familiar to lots of people.
就像我说的，这不是一个传统的实验，不是一个传统的实验室，而是一个人类情感的实验室，一个很多人都非常熟悉的实验室。
I'm talking about the reality TV show, The Bachelor.
我说的是真人秀电视节目《单身汉》。
Been around for 23 seasons.
已经存在了 23 季。
Every season, of course, is romance made in a Petri dish.
当然，每个季节都是在培养皿中制造的浪漫。
They throw in one guy, dozens of women.
他们投入了一名男子和数十名女子。
Each week, the guy ejects a few women from the Petri dish until there is just one left.
每周，这家伙都会从培养皿中逐出一些女性，直到只剩下一个。
And that's how it went until last season, when, for the first time, one of the lab subjects, a very important one, escaped the lab with, yes, unintended consequences.
直到上一季，情况就是这样，当时，第一次，一个实验室对象，一个非常重要的对象，逃离了实验室，是的，带来了意想不到的后果。
One of our producers, Emanuele Berry, tells what happened.
我们的制片人之一埃马努埃莱·贝里 (Emanuele Berry) 讲述了发生的事情。
I've been watching The Bachelor for years, and I've never seen anything like what happened on Episode 9 of Season 23.
我看《单身汉》很多年了，但我从未见过像第 23 季第 9 集那样的事情。
There's this one moment that felt so real that I haven't shut up about it.
有那么一刻，我感觉如此真实，以至于我无法闭嘴。
OK, so, it's almost the last episode of the season.
好吧，这几乎是本季的最后一集了。
It's The Bachelor, so of course, they're filming in a romantic location, a beautiful property in Portugal.
这是《单身汉》，所以当然，他们是在一个浪漫的地点拍摄的，这是葡萄牙的一处美丽的地产。
The bachelor this time around is Colton Underwood.
这次的单身汉是科尔顿·安德伍德。
He's 26, tall, sandy hair, handsome, a former football player.
他今年 26 岁，身材高大，沙色头发，英俊，曾是一名足球运动员。
And as the show has mentioned a million times, he's a virgin.
正如该节目一百万次提到的那样，他是处女。
I could care less.
我可以不在乎。
Online, I saw fans of the show describe him as sweet and sincere.
在网上，我看到该剧的粉丝形容他可爱又真诚。
My roommate once called him America's chicken nugget.
我的室友曾称他为美国鸡块。
I'm here to fall in love, so hopefully, by the end of this, I am down on one knee.
我来这里是为了坠入爱河，所以希望到最后我能单膝跪地。
This show is a Monday night tradition in my apartment.
这个节目是我公寓周一晚上的传统节目。
My roommate and I open a bottle of red wine, and for two hours, we enjoy some choreographed drama, contestants who aren't there for the right reason, bachelors who didn't know it would be so hard, tearful eliminations.
我和室友打开一瓶红酒，在两个小时里，我们欣赏了一些精心设计的戏剧，参赛者因正当理由缺席，单身汉们不知道淘汰会如此艰难，含泪而行。
The entire thing, it's kind of silly.
整个事情，有点愚蠢。
It's actually a total mess, but I'm so into it.
这实际上是一团糟，但我很喜欢它。
So back to that dramatic moment.
回到那个戏剧性的时刻。
It's nighttime in Portugal, and Colton has been dumped by the girl of his dreams.
葡萄牙的夜晚，科尔顿被他的梦中情人甩了。
He has shut himself into his room.
他把自己关在自己的房间里。
He says, "I'm done.
他说：“我完成了。
I'm done with this." Cue the most dramatic music.
我已经完成这件事了。”提示最戏剧性的音乐。
He throws open the door, and his hand is suddenly covering the entire TV screen.
他推开门，手突然覆盖了整个电视屏幕。
Then this strange thing happens.
然后就发生了这种奇怪的事情。
Suddenly, the invisible TV crew becomes very visible.
突然间，看不见的电视工作人员变得非常明显。
Cameramen find their way into the frame.
摄影师找到进入画面的方法。
Colton is running down the stairs.
科尔顿跑下楼梯。
He's taking off his mic, and the producers start calling for Chris.
他摘下麦克风，制片人开始叫克里斯。
Somebody get Chris.
有人去找克里斯。
Emanuele Berry Chris Harrison is the host of the show, who's forever popping into scenes unannounced.
埃马努埃莱·贝里·克里斯·哈里森是该节目的主持人，他总是在未经事先通知的情况下突然出现在场景中。
And I always feel like, wait, why are you here?
我总是觉得，等等，你为什么在这里？
Colton's walking away from Chris, ignoring everyone.
科尔顿离开克里斯，无视所有人。
And then he reaches this big white fence, like an industrial security gate.
然后他到达了这个巨大的白色栅栏，就像工业安全门一样。
It's maybe like eight feet tall.
大概有八英尺高。
And without hesitation, in one powerful, graceful movement, he leaps up and pulls himself over.
他毫不犹豫地以一种有力而优雅的动作跳了起来，把自己拉了过去。
He's on the other side in a heartbeat.
他正在心跳的另一边。
It's the type of move Captain America would do.
这就是美国队长会做的举动。
And then Chris Harrison utters what is perhaps my favorite line in the history of The Bachelor.
然后克里斯·哈里森说出了《单身汉》历史上我最喜欢的台词。
He just jumped the [BLEEP] fence.
他刚刚跳过[BLEEP]栅栏。
Is there a button that opens the gate?
有打开门的按钮吗？
The crew takes what feels like a while to actually get the gate open.
工作人员花了一段时间才真正打开大门。
And when they finally do, Colton is gone.
当他们最终这样做时，科尔顿已经走了。
He is gone.
他走了。
Emanuele Berry The bachelor has escaped.
埃马努埃莱·贝里 单身汉逃跑了。
For three minutes, I watch as they search for him, calling his name.
三分钟里，我看着他们寻找他，喊着他的名字。
Someone starts whistling like they're looking for a dog.
有人开始吹口哨，就像在寻找狗一样。
Colton!
科尔顿！
Chris Harrison I have no idea where he went.
克里斯·哈里森 我不知道他去了哪里。
Colton.
科尔顿.
Emanuele Berry They get into cars, and they're driving around.
埃马努埃莱·贝里（Emanuele Berry）：他们钻进汽车，然后四处行驶。
And finally, they spot him on the side of the road.
最后，他们在路边发现了他。
I'm asking if you're OK.
我问你还好吗
Colton Underwood No, I'm not OK.
科尔顿·安德伍德 不，我不好。
Colton keeps walking away.
科尔顿继续走开。
Chris tries to get him to talk.
克里斯试图让他说话。
Manages to get him to walk toward a car, but Colton insists it's over.
设法让他走向一辆车，但科尔顿坚持认为一切都结束了。
He says, I can't do this.
他说，我不能这样做。
I'm done.
我受够了。
Then commercial.
然后商业化。
And when we come back, it's the next day, and it's bright and sunny.
当我们回来时，已经是第二天了，天气晴朗。
And Chris Harrison is knocking on Colton's door to talk.
克里斯·哈里森正在敲科尔顿的门谈话。
[KNOCKING] And it all feels sort of normal.
[敲门声]这一切感觉都很正常。
And I'm watching at home, and I'm confused.
我在家看，我很困惑。
Like, didn't he just say he was done with the show?
就像，他不是刚刚说他已经结束了演出吗？
Yet here he is, talking with Chris, planning his next move.
然而他却在这里与克里斯交谈，计划着他的下一步行动。
On the show, it's never explained how Colton went from running away and quitting to being back in front of the cameras.
在节目中，从未解释科尔顿是如何从逃跑和退出到回到镜头前的。
Like, where did he go?
比如，他去哪儿了？
How long was he gone?
他走了多久？
And most important, what made him decide to come back?
最重要的是，是什么让他决定回来？
Like, what actually happened?
就像，到底发生了什么？
The TV show gave no satisfying answer to any of that.
电视节目对此没有给出令人满意的答案。
So--
所以——
Hey, Colton.
嘿，科尔顿。
Colton Underwood Hey, how are you?
科尔顿·安德伍德 嘿，你好吗？
Good, how are you doing?
很好，你好吗？
I called him.
我打电话给他。
Colton says when he signed up to be the bachelor, he'd already been on The Bachelorette, so he believed he understood how the show worked.
科尔顿说，当他报名成为单身汉时，他已经参加了《单身女郎》，所以他相信自己了解这个节目的运作方式。
I thought that I did.
我以为我做到了。
I thought that I had a lot of it figured out, and I was wrong.
我以为我已经弄清楚了很多事情，但我错了。
He explained that the whole fence jump goes back to a confusion of his own making.
他解释说，整个跳栅栏事件可以追溯到他自己造成的混乱。
So on each episode, there are dates with the bachelor.
所以每一集中都有与单身汉的约会。
Some are one-on-one.
有些是一对一的。
Some are big group dates.
有些是大型团体约会。
And sometimes contestants don't get selected for a date at all, which sucks, because it's really the only time you get to spend with the bachelor.
有时，参赛者根本没有被选中参加约会，这很糟糕，因为这实际上是你与单身汉共度的唯一时间。
And Colton told me something I didn't know watching the show, that to figure out who goes on these dates, producers are constantly checking in with the bachelor to figure out who he likes.
科尔顿告诉我一些我在看节目时不知道的事情，为了弄清楚谁参加了这些约会，制片人不断地与单身汉核实，以确定他喜欢谁。
Like, one of the women he initially hit it off with was Hannah.
就像，他最初一拍即合的女人之一是汉娜。
They always asked to rank the girls.
他们总是要求对女孩进行排名。
And very early on, Hannah was up there.
很早就，汉娜就在那里。
And she got left off of a date.
她被取消了约会。
In other words, in the beginning when there were over 20 contestants, this woman Hannah was his number one pick.
也就是说，当初参赛者有二十多人的时候，汉娜这个女人就是他的第一选择。
But they didn't schedule a date with her.
但他们没有安排与她约会。
And I sort of recall remember feeling a little burnt when they did that.
我记得他们这样做时感觉有点烧焦。
I was like, so let me get this straight.
我当时想，所以让我把这个说清楚。
Hannah's number one on my list right now, and she's not getting a date this week.
汉娜现在是我名单上的第一名，但她这周没有约会。
So from there on out, I was like, all right, if you're going to do that to my top girls, I'm not really going to tell you who my top girls are.
所以从那时起，我就想，好吧，如果你要对我的顶级女孩这样做，我不会真正告诉你我的顶级女孩是谁。
Because I don't want you messing with them.
因为我不想让你打扰他们。
So in a weird way, I tried to defend myself and defend the girls by not being truthful to them who my top was.
所以以一种奇怪的方式，我试图通过不诚实地告诉她们我的上衣是谁来保护自己和女孩们。
So even after Hannah stopped being his favorite.
即使汉娜不再是他的最爱之后也是如此。
I just kept the top the same.
我只是保持顶部不变。
So Hannah was always at the top of the list when I always made the list for them to see, and I never changed it.
因此，当我总是列出列表供他们查看时，汉娜总是位于列表的顶部，而且我从未更改过它。
It's so interesting because it feels like you're learning their game and then coming up with ways to sort of like either foil it, or protect yourself, or put yourself in a better position.
这很有趣，因为感觉就像你正在学习他们的游戏，然后想出一些方法来挫败它，或者保护自己，或者让自己处于更好的位置。
Like, did you find yourself doing that throughout the entire process?
比如，你发现自己在整个过程中都这样做了吗？
Well, yeah.
嗯，是的。
So like, that's just me wanting to set myself up for success.
就像，这只是我想让自己为成功做好准备。
While Colton kept putting Hannah as his number one pick each week, the girl he fell for hardest was actually Cassie.
虽然科尔顿每周都把汉娜列为他的第一选择，但他最喜欢的女孩实际上是卡西。
How are you?
你好吗？
Colton Underwood You look amazing.
科尔顿·安德伍德 你看起来棒极了。
How are you?
你好吗？
Good.
好的。
On a scale of one to hot, Colton is hot.
从一到热的等级来看，科尔顿很热。
I feel like we do have some chemistry, and I'm looking forward to just diving right in.
我觉得我们确实有一些化学反应，我期待着立即投入其中。
She's got a surfer vibe, blonde hair, beachy waves.
她有冲浪者的气质，金发，沙滩波浪。
They had chemistry.
他们产生了化学反应。
But as a viewer, she didn't seem like a frontrunner.
但作为一个观众，她看起来并不像一个领跑者。
I kind of kept forgetting who Cassie was.
我有点忘记卡西是谁了。
I think with Cass, the best way to describe our relationship is it was such a slow burn.
我认为对于卡斯来说，描述我们关系的最好方式就是它是如此缓慢地燃烧。
And it was, in a weird way, in the dynamic of The Bachelor franchise where it's supposed to be quick, and fast, and intense, it was sort of a relief to find a normal relationship in which it was a slower burn, and which it was a more realistic approach to a relationship.
以一种奇怪的方式，在《单身汉》系列的动态中，它应该是快速、快速、激烈的，找到一种正常的关系是一种解脱，在这种关系中，它是一种较慢的燃烧，并且这是一种更现实的关系方式。
And I think it was just, it was almost like when I was with Cass, it was like a breath of fresh air.
我认为这就像我和卡斯在一起时一样，就像呼吸新鲜空气一样。
So toward the end of the season, they're down to just three women-- Cassie, his favorite, Hannah, who the producers think is his favorite, and Tayshia, the token black girl.
因此，在本季结束时，他们只剩下三个女人——他最喜欢的卡西、制片人认为他最喜欢的汉娜，以及象征性的黑人女孩泰西亚。
They're all in Portugal, and they each have an overnight date scheduled with Colton.
他们都在葡萄牙，并且每个人都安排了与科尔顿的过夜约会。
But someone has to be eliminated by the end of the episode.
但在剧集结束时必须有人被淘汰。
I don't know exactly what the producers intended.
我不知道制作者的具体意图是什么。
They declined my request for an interview.
他们拒绝了我的采访请求。
But watching the show, it seemed like they were trying to get Cassie to quit.
但看节目，他们似乎试图让卡西退出。
They threw a wrench in her and Colton's relationship, a wrench shaped like Cassie's dad.
他们破坏了她和科尔顿的关系，这个扳手的形状就像卡西的父亲。
Colton had met Cassie's dad in an earlier episode when he asked for permission to propose.
科尔顿在早些时候的一集中遇到了卡西的父亲，当时他请求允许求婚。
Mind you, he did this for nearly all the remaining contestants.
请注意，他对几乎所有剩余的参赛者都这样做了。
But Cassie's dad said no.
但卡西的父亲拒绝了。
So I feel like as far as the hand of marriage, that would be a premature blessing.
所以我觉得就婚姻而言，这将是一个过早的祝福。
I see where you're coming from.
我知道你来自哪里。
That's not exactly what I wanted to hear.
这并不是我想听到的。
A week later in Portugal, Colton's certain about Cassie.
一周后，在葡萄牙，科尔顿对卡西有了信心。
Cassie's confused.
卡西很困惑。
Again, I have no idea what the producers were thinking.
再说一遍，我不知道制片人在想什么。
But when I was watching it, it seemed like they were forcing Cassie's hand.
但当我看的时候，他们似乎在强迫卡西的手。
The show allows a special guest to visit.
该节目允许一位特邀嘉宾参观。
Later, in that episode, her dad actually shows up, which nobody just accidentally shows up in Portugal.
后来，在那一集中，她的父亲真的出现了，在葡萄牙没有人会意外地出现。
So the producers paid a pretty hefty price to fly that man on out to Portugal to come visit and spend time with his daughter to give her clarity.
因此，制片人花了相当大的代价让那个男人飞到葡萄牙来探望并与他的女儿共度时光，让她明白。
Cassie's dad talks to her, and she decides to leave the show.
卡西的父亲与她交谈，她决定离开节目。
There shouldn't be any hesitation in your mind when you meet somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
当你遇到一个你想与之共度余生的人时，你不应该有任何犹豫。
None.
没有任何。
It's a lifelong decision.
这是一个终生的决定。
It's not something you make if you're unsure.
如果你不确定的话，这不是你所做的事情。
Cassie decides to tell Colton at dinner.
卡西决定在晚餐时告诉科尔顿。
Normally, during the dinners and during that, the producers are sort of hovering, or they're around to help the conversation flow.
通常情况下，在晚宴期间以及其他时间，制作人都会徘徊，或者他们会在周围帮助对话顺利进行。
Or they're there just to, like, bounce ideas off of when you guys are talking.
或者他们只是在你们谈话时交换想法。
When we had that dinner, there wasn't a producer in sight.
当我们吃晚饭时，看不到制片人。
There was just the cameras, and there was just the audios.
只有摄像机，只有音频。
Everybody else ran.
其他人都跑了。
And they didn't want to be near it because I think they knew that I knew.
他们不想靠近它，因为我认为他们知道我知道。
Knew that they set him up, he means.
他的意思是，知道他们陷害了他。
At dinner, Cassie tells him she's leaving.
晚餐时，卡西告诉他她要走了。
And she mentions that her dad is here in Portugal and that they've been talking.
她提到她的父亲在葡萄牙，他们一直在交谈。
Colton clearly has no idea that this was happening.
科尔顿显然不知道发生了这种事。
And he turns as though looking for someone.
他转过身来，好像在寻找什么人。
Oh, I was thinking I just got screwed.
哦，我以为我刚刚被搞砸了。
I was thinking that that wasn't her doing.
我当时想这不是她干的。
I know what the format of the show is.
我知道演出的形式是什么。
And for me hearing, hey, by the way, my dad came back, really sparked something in me.
对我来说，嘿，顺便说一句，我爸爸回来了，真的激发了我的灵感。
I was like, OK.
我当时想，好吧。
So I don't have the control I thought I had.
所以我没有我以为的控制力。
If I feel like my relationship's going to be messed with or toyed with at all, I'm going to be done.
如果我觉得我的关系会被搞乱或被玩弄，我就完蛋了。
Especially at this point, I've completely fallen in love.
尤其是这个时候，我已经彻底爱上了。
I've completely, like, gave myself all to her.
我已经完全把自己的一切都交给了她。
I mean, I had nothing to lose at that point besides the girl and the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
我的意思是，除了那个我想共度余生的女孩和女人之外，我当时没有什么可失去的。
So Colton's about to lose the girl that he loves.
所以科尔顿即将失去他所爱的女孩。
And in a perverse way, it's kind of his fault.
从一种反常的角度来说，这是他的错。
When Colton started lying about who he liked most on his list, the show's not really built for that.
当科尔顿开始在名单上最喜欢谁的问题上撒谎时，这部剧并不是为此而打造的。
It's as if an inanimate test subject suddenly became sentient.
就好像一个无生命的测试对象突然变得有知觉。
Basically, he compromised the entire experiment.
基本上，他破坏了整个实验。
He sort of played himself.
他有点扮演自己。
I think that it backfired because then they were like, whoa, we thought it was Hannah because you kept telling us even on your list, when you'd rank them, Hannah's one.
我认为这适得其反，因为然后他们就像，哇，我们以为是汉娜，因为你一直告诉我们，甚至在你的名单上，当你对他们进行排名时，汉娜是其中之一。
And so in the end, Cassie ends up basically sort of breaking up with you and leaving, right?
所以最后，卡西基本上是和你分手并离开了，对吧？
Yeah.
是的。
So we walk, and I just get up and we start walking to the car.
所以我们步行，我站起来，我们开始走向汽车。
And it was in the dark.
那是在黑暗中。
I remember there was a sidewalk we were supposed to stay on.
我记得有一条人行道我们应该留在上面。
It was completely lit, and I was like, we're not staying on the sidewalk.
它完全被照亮了，我想，我们不能呆在人行道上。
Like, I started-- right then and there, I was like, I'm not doing showy things anymore.
就像，我开始——就在那时，在那里，我想，我不再做炫耀的事情了。
I'm not doing things just to go through the motions of being the bachelor.
我做事不只是为了装作光棍。
So I was starting to run through scenarios in my head as I put her in the van and said goodbye to her.
因此，当我把她放进货车并向她道别时，我开始在脑海中想象各种场景。
I was like, all right, I'm going to go upstairs.
我当时想，好吧，我要上楼了。
I'm going to grab my wallet.
我要抓起我的钱包。
First off, I got to get away from these people.
首先，我必须远离这些人。
I have to lose my mic.
我必须失去我的麦克风。
I have to lose the cameras.
我必须丢掉相机。
I have to just be by myself.
我必须独自一人。
And my plan was to get out of there and go grab a new passport, because they did have my passport.
我的计划是离开那里去拿一本新护照，因为他们确实有我的护照。
So I was like, I got my wallet.
所以我想，我拿到了钱包。
I have--
我有——
Wait.
等等。
You're like, I'm going to go get a new passport?
你说，我要去拿一本新护照？
I'm done.
我受够了。
I wanted to be done.
我想完成。
I didn't want to talk to the people on the show.
我不想和节目中的人说话。
I was about to pay for my own flight to get home.
我正准备支付自己回家的机票费用。
I literally was done talking to everybody.
我真的已经和每个人都聊完了。
So I went up, I grabbed my wallet, and I remember opening the door and the first thing I see is a camera right there.
所以我上去，抓起钱包，我记得打开门，我首先看到的是那里有一个摄像头。
And if I had any regrets from the night, the only regret would be is actually hitting and putting a hand on the camera because that's not my property.
如果我对那天晚上有任何遗憾的话，唯一的遗憾就是实际上击打并把手放在相机上，因为那不是我的财产。
But I was heated, so I hit the camera just to get it out of my way and went down the stairs.
但我太激动了，所以我拍了拍相机，让它别挡道，然后下了楼梯。
And that's when I undid my mic.
就在那时我摘下了麦克风。
And once I did that, I think they had an idea of what was coming next.
一旦我这样做了，我想他们就知道接下来会发生什么。
And I remember walking up to the fence, and I had no clue how to open it.
我记得走到栅栏前，但我不知道如何打开它。
I didn't want to wait for people to open it.
我不想等待人们打开它。
So without hesitation, without even thinking, I was just like, screw it.
所以我毫不犹豫，想都没想，就想，管它呢。
I'm over this thing.
我已经结束这件事了
Let's do it.
我们开始做吧。
And I just gathered myself and jumped over the fence, fully expecting the other side to have people, producers, handlers, the food tent.
我只是振作起来，跳过栅栏，满心期待另一边有人员、生产者、处理者和食品帐篷。
I mean, the scale of this show is so big that there's people everywhere.
我的意思是，这个演出的规模太大了，到处都是人。
You can never get by yourself.
你永远无法靠自己。
I mean, there are so many hands on deck, all of these things.
我的意思是，有很多人在忙着处理所有这些事情。
But I jumped the fence, and there was nothing.
但我跳过了栅栏，什么也没有。
It was darkness.
天很黑。
It was fields.
那是田野。
And for me, I was like, this is awesome.
对我来说，我想，这太棒了。
So I was like, I'm here.
所以我就想，我在这里。
I was like, I don't want them to catch up.
我当时想，我不想让他们赶上。
So I started running.
于是我开始跑步。
I ran, and I took off.
我跑了，然后就起飞了。
And I'm the worst with directions.
而我是最不懂得指路的。
Like, I'm very directionally challenged.
就像，我在方向上面临很大的挑战。
And I had no clue where I was going.
我不知道我要去哪里。
I remember having a ton of bright lights over to the left, so I was like, I'm just going to run towards the lights.
我记得左边有很多明亮的灯光，所以我想，我要朝灯光跑去。
And hopefully, I get there.
希望我能够到达那里。
Granted, these lights are, like, 40 miles away, 30 miles away.
当然，这些灯距离大约 40 英里、30 英里。
I was like, let's do it.
我当时想，我们就这么做吧。
I was running in boots and tight jeans, which is the worst combination ever to run in.
我穿着靴子和紧身牛仔裤跑步，这是有史以来最糟糕的组合。
And I remember hearing in the distance the producers start yelling my name, so I knew they were chasing after me.
我记得在远处听到制片人开始喊我的名字，所以我知道他们在追我。
Where did you hide?
你躲到哪里去了？
You're a big dude.
你是个大家伙。
Were you hiding behind a tree?
你躲在树后面吗？
Were you in bushes?
你在灌木丛里吗？
Oh.
哦。
It was dangerous, too, because I had no clue what the laws were in Portugal.
这也很危险，因为我不知道葡萄牙的法律是什么。
I was hopping personal fences.
我正在跳过个人围栏。
I was hiding behind people's cars.
我躲在人们的车后面。
I was laying down in ditches.
我躺在沟渠里。
And finally, I hopped through a backyard, and there was like a chain link fence.
最后，我跳过后院，那里有一个铁丝网围栏。
And all of a sudden, I hear these animals.
突然间，我听到了这些动物的声音。
And they sort of sounded like dogs, and I love dogs.
它们听起来有点像狗，我喜欢狗。
I'm a big dog person.
我是一个大狗人。
But this was like an aggressive, growling, howling thing.
但这就像一个具有攻击性、咆哮、嚎叫的东西。
And I was like, all right, this is probably a little dangerous.
我当时想，好吧，这可能有点危险。
I probably am a little in over my head here, trying to get back and find a passport.
我可能有点不知所措，试图回去找到护照。
So I'll just turn myself in.
所以我就去自首吧
I was gone for about a good two hours.
我离开了大约两个小时。
You were gone for two hours?
你走了两个小时？
Colton Underwood It was yeah, when it's all said and done.
科尔顿·安德伍德 是的，当一切都说了又做了之后。
So he turns himself in.
于是他自首了。
Not to police, of course, but to reality TV.
当然不是警察，而是真人秀节目。
He does this by walking to the main road till someone finds him.
他通过走到主干道直到有人找到他来做到这一点。
When they do, he's still upset, and overwhelmed, and not ready to talk.
当他们这样做时，他仍然心烦意乱，不知所措，不准备说话。
So he plays the system.
所以他玩系统。
He says there's a rule that you cannot be filmed or recorded while talking to the show's therapist.
他说有一条规定，你在与节目治疗师交谈时不能被拍摄或录音。
So he asked for that.
所以他要求这样做。
He says they talked for an hour while he vented and figured out his next move.
他说他们聊了一个小时，他一边发泄一边思考下一步的行动。
And then finally, he was ready to talk to producers.
最后，他准备好与制片人交谈。
What was that game plan or that conversation like?
那个游戏计划或谈话是什么样的？
Did they have to convince you to come back?
他们必须说服你回来吗？
Because at that point, you were saying that you were done, right?
因为在那一刻，你说你已经完成了，对吗？
If Cassie wasn't going to be there, you were like-- you seemed very done also.
如果卡西不在那里，你就会觉得——你看起来也很累。
Yeah, what was the conversation like to get you to come back to the show?
是的，是怎样的谈话让你重返演出的？
So the conversation was-- well, obviously, they just wanted to hear me out.
所以谈话是——嗯，显然，他们只是想听我说完。
They wanted to hear what I had to say.
他们想听听我要说的话。
And then the game plan was to talk to Cass again, but I only wanted to do that after I talked to the other two women.
然后游戏计划是再次与卡斯交谈，但我只想在与其他两个女人交谈后才这样做。
The lab rat is suddenly running the lab.
实验室老鼠突然开始管理实验室。
Colton wants to break up with the other two contestants, so he can make it clear to Cassie that she's the one that he wants and they don't have to get married.
科尔顿想与另外两名参赛者分手，这样他就可以向卡西明确表示，她就是他想要的人，他们不必结婚。
This goes totally against the show's format.
这完全违背了节目的形式。
It means no final two, no big bro ceremony, no proposal scene.
这意味着没有最后两场比赛，没有大兄弟仪式，没有求婚场景。
All of these sacred touchstones are just gone from the show.
所有这些神圣的试金石都刚刚从节目中消失。
It's like watching the Olympics without the medal ceremony at the end.
这就像观看奥运会而最后没有颁奖仪式一样。
So you felt like you sort of had more power or maybe a little more leverage to have control when you went back.
所以当你回去时，你会觉得自己有更多的权力或者更多的影响力来控制。
Well, I think it was just me-- they knew I was serious.
嗯，我想这只是我——他们知道我是认真的。
Like, it's one thing when leads say, OK, I'm done.
就像，当领导说“好吧，我完成了”时，这是一回事。
Like, it's OK, but you turn around, and you're in an interview the next minute.
就像，没关系，但你一转身，下一分钟你就在接受采访。
It's like, you're not done.
就像，你还没有完成。
You're sitting right in front of them.
你就坐在他们面前。
You're doing exactly what they want you to do.
你正在做他们想要你做的事情。
So they knew not to really cross that line.
所以他们知道不要真正越过那条线。
In the end, he gets what he wants.
最终，他得到了他想要的。
He talks to Cassie.
他和卡西说话。
They decide to date and not get engaged.
他们决定约会而不订婚。
Colton is still friends with the producers.
科尔顿仍然是制片人的朋友。
And he says he and Cassie are still together and very happy.
他说他和卡西仍然在一起并且非常幸福。
The promos for Colton's season of The Bachelor were all about the fence jump.
科尔顿的《单身汉》季的宣传片都是关于跳栅栏的。
They tease viewers with footage of the jump.
他们用跳跃的镜头来逗弄观众。
My roommate and I watched every week, asking, is this the week he does it?
我和我的室友每周都会看，问他这周会这样做吗？
There's a Twitter account dedicated to the question, articles guessing when and why it would happen.
有一个 Twitter 帐户专门讨论这个问题，并有文章猜测它何时以及为何会发生。
The week he finally jumped, we threw a party in my apartment.
他终于跳楼的那一周，我们在我的公寓里举办了一场派对。
There was a cake with a fence.
有一个带有栅栏的蛋糕。
One of the things that I think is so sort of interesting about this situation is the very big independent act that you did, which was deciding to basically run away from the show, which hasn't happened before.
我认为这种情况非常有趣的一件事是你所做的非常大的独立行为，即决定基本上逃离演出，这以前没有发生过。
And then that sort of act of independence got taken and then that was the promo for the season, right?
然后采取了这种独立行为，然后这就是本季的促销活动，对吗？
From episode one, it was like, when is Colton going to jump the fence?
从第一集开始，就好像科尔顿什么时候会跳过栅栏？
When is Colton going to jump the fence, over and over again.
科尔顿什么时候才会一次又一次地跳过栅栏。
Watching those promos, how did it feel seeing this moment end up being used as a piece of plot?
看着那些宣传片，看到这一刻最终被用作情节，感觉如何？
That was sort of hard for me to deal with because in a way, they're teasing it.
这对我来说有点难以处理，因为在某种程度上，他们在取笑它。
America's making jokes about it, making memes about it.
美国拿它开玩笑，制作表情包。
And that's their number one marketing and selling piece.
这是他们的第一大营销和销售产品。
Meanwhile, I know the seriousness behind it.
同时，我也知道这背后的严重性。
I didn't really real-- I didn't even know if they were going to put that in the show until, obviously, I saw the trailer of me jumping the fence, and then I realized that they probably had to.
我真的不知道——我什至不知道他们是否会把它放在节目中，直到，显然，我看到了我跳过栅栏的预告片，然后我意识到他们可能不得不这样做。
In the end, the most disruptive thing that could have happened-- driving your lead to jump over a fence and run away-- was probably the best thing that could have happened for the TV show.
最后，可能发生的最具破坏性的事情——让你的主角跳过栅栏并逃跑——可能是电视节目中可能发生的最好的事情。
Ratings for Colton's finale were up compared to the previous season, which makes sense because hopping a fence, it felt real.
与上一季相比，科尔顿的结局的收视率有所上升，这是有道理的，因为跳过栅栏，感觉很真实。
Those are the moments I like the most in reality shows, the rare moments of sincere emotion inside this artificial human experiment.
这些是我在真人秀节目中最喜欢的时刻，是这个人造人体实验中罕见的真诚情感时刻。
Cameras everywhere, insane locations, over-the-top clothes-- the producers can control all that stuff.
无处不在的摄像机、疯狂的地点、夸张的服装——制片人可以控制所有这些东西。
Scientists can control the lab.
科学家可以控制实验室。
But they can't control the results.
但他们无法控制结果。
Emanuele Berry is one of the producers of our show.
埃马努埃莱·贝里 (Emanuele Berry) 是我们节目的制片人之一。
[MUSIC - BING CROSBY & THE ANDREWS SISTERS, "DON'T FENCE ME IN"]
[音乐 - Bing Crosby 和安德鲁斯姐妹，“别围攻我”]
Act Two: Two Times a Lady Ira Glass Act Two, Two Times a Lady.
第二幕：两次淑女 艾拉·格拉斯 第二幕，两次淑女。
OK, so a product is developed in a lab.
好的，产品是在实验室开发的。
Then after months and months, it's allowed out in the world for the first time.
几个月后，它首次被允许在世界范围内传播。
And it does something that its creators really did not intend.
它做了一些其创建者真正无意的事情。
It somehow pits men against women, industry leaders against an inventor.
它在某种程度上让男性与女性、行业领导者与发明家相对立。
Lina Misitzis reports.
莉娜·米西齐斯报道。
She was most of the way through 2018, and Lora Haddock was making something new.
2018 年已经过去了大部分时间，Lora Haddock 正在创作一些新东西。
Biomimicry is literally translating human or biological movement, and we're translating that into microrobotics.
仿生学实际上是对人类或生物运动的转化，我们正在将其转化为微型机器人。
So we've actually created brand new mechanical workings that have never been created before.
所以我们实际上创造了以前从未创造过的全新机械运作方式。
Lora knew that what she and her team were working on was innovative.
洛拉知道她和她的团队正在从事的工作是创新的。
But it wasn't until her newly appointed publicist encouraged her to submit it for awards that she really started seeing her new invention for what it was.
但直到她新任命的公关人员鼓励她提交该项目以获得奖项时，她才真正开始了解她的新发明。
That day, she looked at us and she said, you need to apply for tech awards, because this is serious tech.
那天，她看着我们说，你们需要申请技术奖，因为这是严肃的技术。
And I mean, you guys just made a robot.
我的意思是，你们刚刚制造了一个机器人。
A robot named Osé.
一个名叫奥塞的机器人。
Osé left its lab in Oregon, sent out into the world for the first time to apply for this award, an innovation award at CES.
Osé 离开俄勒冈州的实验室，首次前往世界各地申请这个奖项，即 CES 上的创新奖。
That's the Consumer Electronics Show, one of the largest trade shows in the world, with more than 170,000 attendees in recent years.
这就是消费电子展，它是世界上最大的贸易展之一，近年来有超过 170,000 名与会者。
Run by the Consumer Technology Association, the CTA, tens of thousands of new tech products debut at CES.
由消费者技术协会 (CTA) 管理的数以万计的新技术产品在 CES 上首次亮相。
Among them historically are the VCR, the camcorder, the game Tetris.
其中历史上有录像机、摄像机、俄罗斯方块游戏。
Winning a CES award is game changing.
赢得 CES 奖项将改变游戏规则。
With it comes industry wide promotion, product listings in CTA's trade magazine, and the chance to showcase your product beside the most buzzed about products at the expo.
随之而来的是行业范围内的促销、CTA 贸易杂志中的产品列表，以及在博览会上最受关注的产品旁边展示您的产品的机会。
It's a very big deal.
这是一件大事。
It took about a month to get all of our patent documents together that we were submitting.
我们花了大约一个月的时间才将我们提交的所有专利文件整理在一起。
And then we put everything in.
然后我们把所有东西都放进去。
And then we kind of sat and we waited.
然后我们就坐下来等待。
And there's a handful of judges that are experts in robotics and drones.
还有一些评委是机器人和无人机方面的专家。
And they decided that Osé deserved an award.
他们认为奥塞值得获奖。
And we got that email, and I think I literally went running through the office, like, yelling at all of our engineers.
我们收到了那封电子邮件，我想我真的跑遍了办公室，就像对我们所有的工程师大喊大叫一样。
And pretty sure some people cried.
很肯定有些人哭了。
And it was just absolutely astounding and felt so validating.
这绝对令人震惊，而且让人感觉如此有效。
The Osé is a robot-- a robotic sex toy.
Osé 是一个机器人——一个机器人性玩具。
There's no way to talk about this without acknowledging the existence of sex and the body parts typically involved.
如果不承认性和通常涉及的身体部位的存在，就无法谈论这个问题。
So if you're listening with kids or you don't want to hear about it, this might not be the story for you.
因此，如果您正在和孩子们一起听或者您不想听这个故事，那么这个故事可能不适合您。
OK.
好的。
According to its inventors, what makes the Osé different from other sex toys is that it conforms to each user's particular dimensions, stimulating both the G spot and the clitoris, resulting in a blended orgasm, which is an internal and external orgasm together in the same person at the same time.
据其发明者介绍，Osé与其他性玩具的不同之处在于，它符合每个使用者的特定尺寸，同时刺激G点和阴蒂，从而产生混合性高潮，即同一个人同时达到内部和外部高潮。
And then you go, holy shit, that was awesome.
然后你就走了，天哪，那太棒了。
And then do you, like-- do you do it again or like--
然后你会不会再做一次或者类似
Then you do it again just for good measure.
然后你再做一次只是为了更好的措施。
The biomimicry part, what's being imitated by the robotics, is what Lora calls the come hither motions made by a sexual partner's hands, mouth, or both.
仿生学部分，即机器人所模仿的部分，就是洛拉所说的由性伴侣的手、嘴或两者做出的来到这里的动作。
For Lora and her team, which was largely made up of female engineers, the award meant a frenzy of activity.
对于 Lora 和她的主要由女性工程师组成的团队来说，该奖项意味着一场疯狂的活动。
The Osé was still in prototype, meaning the design still needed to be finalized.
Osé 仍处于原型阶段，这意味着设计仍需最终确定。
The marketing and the product launch still needed planning.
营销和产品发布仍需要规划。
I was in an engineering meeting, and my phone went off and it was our publicist.
我正在参加一个工程会议，我的电话响了，是我们的公关人员打来的。
And I stepped out, and I got on the phone.
我走出去，拿起电话。
And I said, is everything OK?
我说，一切都好吗？
And she goes, are you sitting down?
然后她走了，你坐下吗？
You need to sit down.
你需要坐下来。
And she tells me that they are revoking our award.
她告诉我他们要撤销我们的奖项。
She got this news in an email.
她在一封电子邮件中得到了这个消息。
Apparently, higher-ups got to talking.
显然，高层开始说话了。
And they said when we had this bigger conversation, we decided that we are going to revoke your award.
他们说，当我们进行了这次更大的谈话时，我们决定撤销你的奖项。
And we're very sorry to have made this mistake.
我们对犯了这个错误感到非常抱歉。
I literally feel like this right now.
我现在确实有这样的感觉。
I welled up.
我涌了上来。
I was heartbroken, and angry, and very confused.
我很伤心，很愤怒，也很困惑。
The email referenced a CTA policy that products deemed by CTA to be immoral, or obscene, or indecent, or profane, or not in keeping with CTA's image could be disqualified, and that CTA reserves the right to disqualify any entry at any time.
该电子邮件引用了 CTA 政策，即 CTA 认为不道德、淫秽、不雅、亵渎或不符合 CTA 形象的产品可能会被取消资格，并且 CTA 保留随时取消任何参赛资格的权利。
Lora couldn't help but notice that CTA had very recently been fine with other sex toys, so long as they were oriented towards penises and the people those penises were attached to.
洛拉忍不住注意到 CTA 最近对其他性玩具表现得很好，只要它们是针对阴茎以及阴茎所附着的人的。
In 2017 CES show, the company Naughty America exhibited virtual reality porn.
在 2017 年 CES 展会上，Naughty America 公司展出了虚拟现实色情产品。
You'd put on a headset, choose from one of three boy-girl scenes, each of them through the eyeballs of the male.
你戴上耳机，从三个男孩女孩场景中选择一个，每个场景都是通过男性的眼球来呈现的。
In one, you're a guy on a workout bench, and a woman in yoga pants just squats over you.
在其中一个场景中，你是一个坐在健身凳上的男人，而一个穿着瑜伽裤的女人就蹲在你身上。
Then you have sex.
然后你就发生性行为。
And at a media partner show at CES, the creator of Real Doll showcased his electronic sex doll Harmony, who comes with her removable mouth insert that can be washed.
在 CES 的媒体合作伙伴展会上，Real Doll 的创造者展示了他的电子性玩偶 Harmony，该玩偶配有可拆卸、可清洗的口腔插入物。
Harmony can also be programmed to tell you that she loves you and to exhibit character traits, like jealous, insecure, unpredictable, or helpful.
Harmony 还可以通过编程来告诉你她爱你，并表现出一些性格特征，比如嫉妒、不安全、不可预测或乐于助人。
Lora took inventory of all this and the fact that Osé got banned.
洛拉盘点了这一切以及奥塞被禁的事实。
And very quickly came to the realization that it had everything to do with the fact that it's an adult product that is geared towards females and people with vaginas.
很快我们就意识到，这与它是一款针对女性和有阴道的人的成人产品有关。
And we wrote a letter back to the CTA stating that this is-- basically, that this is absolute crap.
我们给 CTA 回了一封信，表示这基本上是一派胡言。
This is wrong, and you know it.
这是错误的，你也知道这一点。
And they stood by their decision.
他们坚持自己的决定。
They said, we're very sorry.
他们说，我们非常抱歉。
There was a misunderstanding.
出现了误会。
We did not realize what the nature of your product was.
我们没有意识到你们产品的本质是什么。
And that I did not buy for a second because we looked at our application.
我一秒钟都没有购买，因为我们查看了我们的申请。
In the very first sentence of our application, the very first sentence says this is a robot to elicit a blended orgasm that stimulates the clitoris and the G spot.
在我们应用程序的第一句话中，第一句话说这是一个机器人，可以引发刺激阴蒂和 G 点的混合性高潮。
So there's no questioning what kind of product this was.
所以毫无疑问这是什么类型的产品。
CTA has had a pretty tumultuous on again/off again relationship with the sex industry for decades.
几十年来，CTA 与性行业的关系一直时断时续。
For a long time, sex was actually part of the trade show.
长期以来，性实际上是贸易展览的一部分。
Remember VHS tapes?
还记得 VHS 磁带吗？
Some of the first people to make the leap from film to VHS were porn people.
第一批从电影跨越到录像带的人中有一些是色情人士。
And porn viewers were excited to watch porn from home instead of adult movie theaters and booths in the backs of stores.
色情观众很高兴在家观看色情片，而不是在成人电影院和商店后面的摊位上观看。
And CES wanted to connect content creators with tech manufacturers.
CES 希望将内容创作者与科技制造商联系起来。
It was lucrative.
这是有利可图的。
So they let porn companies display at their show, but there were strings attached.
因此他们允许色情公司在他们的展会上展示，但有附加条件。
All adult content was relegated to an entirely different building from the rest of tech.
所有成人内容都被转移到与其他科技内容完全不同的建筑中。
Porn was still a part of CES, but to get to it, you'd have to leave the Las Vegas Convention Center and go to the Sahara, which was a casino more than a mile away.
色情仍然是 CES 的一部分，但要想看到它，你必须离开拉斯维加斯会议中心，前往撒哈拉沙漠，那里是一英里多外的赌场。
One of the main porn people back then was Paul Fishbein.
当时主要的色情人物之一是保罗·菲什宾（Paul Fishbein）。
He founded AVN, Adult Video News, the quintessential trade magazine of porn.
他创办了 AVN（成人视频新闻），这是典型的色情行业杂志。
You go up a little stairwell into this ballroom.
你走上一个小楼梯间就进入了这个舞厅。
And the booths were like any other booth that you would see in any other trade show.
这些展位就像您在任何其他贸易展会上看到的任何其他展位一样。
And people would have posters of movies, and they would have TV's that would play softcore clips from the movies.
人们会有电影海报，他们会有可以播放电影中的软色情片段的电视。
And they would have tables for porn stars to sit and sign autographs.
他们还会有桌子供色情明星坐下来签名。
What were some of the big movies in the late '80s, early '90s?
80 年代末、90 年代初有哪些大电影？
Now you're really pushing.
现在你真的很努力了。
Um, hold on a second.
嗯，等一下。
We're talking late '80s?
我们正在谈论 80 年代末吗？
Yep.
是的。
Paul Fishbein John Stagliano started his first Buttman movie in 1989, The Adventures of Buttman.
保罗·菲什宾 (Paul Fishbein) 约翰·斯塔利亚诺 (John Stagliano) 于 1989 年开始拍摄他的第一部布特曼电影《布特曼历险记》。
And he went on to become a major player.
他后来成为一名主要球员。
And even though business was good, tensions arose.
尽管生意很好，但紧张气氛却出现了。
Porn exhibitors grew resentful.
色情片参展商对此越来越不满。
They were being charged the same participation costs as other tech companies, but they weren't getting the same marketing or show placement.
他们被收取与其他科技公司相同的参与费用，但他们没有得到相同的营销或展示位置。
And then things came to a head in 1998 when CES put up signs by the sex industry section bathrooms that said: "Stop.
1998 年，事情达到了紧要关头，当时 CES 在性产业区的浴室旁张贴了标语，上面写着：“停下来。
These restrooms are shared with exhibit personnel in the adult software area.
这些卫生间与成人软件区的参展人员共用。
You may choose another bathroom.
您可以选择其他浴室。
Thank you." As porn veteran Bryn Pryor, who was also AVN's managing editor back then, told me in an email, the implication of those signs was that sex workers might have, quote, "diseases or molest you or shit on the floor."
谢谢你。”正如当时担任 AVN 总编辑的色情资深人士布林·普赖尔 (Bryn Pryor) 在一封电子邮件中告诉我的那样，这些迹象的含义是性工作者可能患有“疾病或骚扰你或在地板上拉屎”。
The next year, 1999, the divorce.
第二年，1999年，离婚。
Porn splintered off from CES.
色情内容从 CES 中分裂出来。
AVN began hosting their own expo only for adult content.
AVN 开始举办自己的博览会，仅针对成人内容。
And for a while, they still held it the same weekend as CES.
有一段时间，他们仍然在 CES 的同一个周末举办。
CES, meanwhile, banned porn from their show, though, obviously, some sex stuff still found its way onto the show floor.
与此同时，CES 禁止在他们的展会上出现色情内容，但显然，一些色情内容仍然出现在展会上。
Which brings us back to 2019.
这让我们回到了 2019 年。
With her tech award gone and her sex toy robot banned from CES, Lora wrote another letter, this one an open letter, and posted it to Osé's website on midnight, January 8, the day CES was starting in Vegas.
随着她的技术奖被取消，她的性玩具机器人被禁止参加 CES，Lora 写了另一封信，这是一封公开信，并于 1 月 8 日午夜将其发布到 Osé 的网站上，当天 CES 在拉斯维加斯开幕。
Our very first bit of coverage surfaced right about 9:00 AM.
我们的第一个报道是在上午 9:00 左右出现的。
And all of a sudden, the floodgates opened.
突然间，闸门打开了。
The story was picked up by Fast Company, The New York Times, Fortune, Gizmodo, Glamour, Cosmo, Wired, The Guardian, and more.
该故事被《Fast Company》、《纽约时报》、《财富》、《Gizmodo》、《Glamour》、《Cosmo》、《连线》、《卫报》等多家媒体转载。
Headlines like "Women's Sexuality is Still Taboo for Tech" were popping up, and "Sex Toy Debacle Reveals Shameful Double Standard at CES."
诸如“女性的性行为仍然是科技行业的禁忌”和“性玩具崩溃在 CES 上暴露出可耻的双重标准”等头条新闻不断出现。
A month later, in February, Lora gets an email from the assistant to CTA President Gary Shapiro.
一个月后，也就是 2 月份，Lora 收到了 CTA 主席加里·夏皮罗 (Gary Shapiro) 助理发来的一封电子邮件。
He says Gary Shapiro would like to talk to you.
他说加里·夏皮罗想和你谈谈。
Can we schedule a phone call?
我们可以安排电话吗？
And I mean, at that point, I'm nervous.
我的意思是，在这一点上，我很紧张。
Like, what does he want to talk to me about?
比如，他想和我谈什么？
OK.
好的。
We get on the call, and the first thing Gary says is I owe you all a very big apology.
我们接到电话后，加里说的第一句话就是我欠你们所有人一个非常深的歉意。
We did you a great disservice, and we're very sorry for what's happened.
我们给您带来了极大的伤害，我们对所发生的事情感到非常抱歉。
And we realize that we have made a mistake.
我们意识到我们犯了一个错误。
Lora and her team were being given their award back.
洛拉和她的团队正在收回他们的奖项。
At the end of the press release came a promise of new and updated policies.
新闻稿的最后承诺了新的和更新的政策。
They'd make CES a more, quote, "welcoming and inclusive event for all." The first new policy was that they'd include sex products in the CES show on a one year trial basis.
他们会让 CES 成为一个更加“欢迎所有人、包容所有人的活动”。第一个新政策是他们将在 CES 展会上纳入性产品，试用一年。
It was not clear why they called this a new policy since sex products were actually in the show the previous year.
目前还不清楚为什么他们称这是一项新政策，因为性产品实际上在前一年就出现在节目中。
They said these products would now be in the category Health and Wellness.
他们表示这些产品现在将属于健康和保健类别。
And they rolled out one other new policy to address something else they'd gotten a lot of criticism for in the past.
他们还推出了另一项新政策，以解决他们过去受到很多批评的其他问题。
They instituted a dress code.
他们制定了着装规范。
Quote, "Booth personnel may not wear clothing that is sexually revealing or clothing that reveals an excess of bare skin or body conforming clothing that hugs genitalia." What CES was trying to address was booth babes.
引用：“展位工作人员不得穿着暴露性的衣服或暴露过多裸露皮肤的衣服或拥抱生殖器的贴身衣服。” CES 想要解决的是展位美女问题。
Booth babes and CES have always gone together since the 1960s.
自 20 世纪 60 年代以来，展位美女和 CES 就一直形影不离。
These are models in revealing clothing, or body conforming clothing that hugs genitalia, hired to stand next to the tech on the show floor.
这些模特穿着暴露的衣服，或者拥抱生殖器的合身衣服，被雇来站在秀场上的技术旁边。
In a 1986 story for the Toronto Star, Jonathan Gross wrote, quote, "The quality of the products was inversely proportional to the chest size of the booth babes handing out the literature." Paul Fishbein sold AVN years ago to pursue a career in mainstream TV.
乔纳森·格罗斯 (Jonathan Gross) 在 1986 年《多伦多星报》的一篇报道中写道：“产品的质量与分发宣传品的摊位美女的胸部大小成反比。”保罗·菲什宾 (Paul Fishbein) 几年前卖掉了 AVN，转而从事主流电视事业。
But when I told him about CES's new policies, he wasn't surprised at all.
但当我告诉他CES的新政策时，他一点也不感到惊讶。
It's the same thing.
这是同样的事情。
It's the 2020 version of everything we just talked about.
这是我们刚才讨论的所有内容的 2020 版本。
Nothing has changed.
一切都没有改变。
Sex scares them.
性让他们害怕。
I reached out to CES for comment.
我联系了 CES 寻求评论。
They put me on with their executive vice president, Karen Chupka.
他们让我和他们的执行副总裁凯伦·查普卡一起。
But there were conditions.
但有条件。
CES wouldn't speak with me about the history of their show, the history of sex tech at their show, Lora's product, the award it got, the award being taken away, or the award being given back.
CES 不会跟我谈论他们展会的历史、展会上性技术的历史、Lora 的产品、它获得的奖项、奖项被收回或奖项被退回。
All I could ask about was the future of CES.
我所能问的就是 CES 的未来。
It was a short interview.
这是一次简短的采访。
But there was one thing she said that helped shed a little bit of light on their decision making.
但她说的一件事有助于阐明他们的决策。
I asked what would it take for sex to not come back in 2021, after the one year trial?
我问，经过一年的试验后，怎样才能在 2021 年不再出现性行为？
And Karen told me that CES's priority is to make everyone who attends the trade show feel welcome.
凯伦告诉我，CES 的首要任务是让参加展会的每个人都感到受欢迎。
As long as her 175,000 attendees aren't offended by seeing sex products at the show, sex products can stay.
只要 175,000 名参加者没有因为在展会上看到性产品而感到被冒犯，性产品就可以留下来。
So that's the goal-- satisfying everyone.
这就是我们的目标——让每个人都满意。
Lora, the inventor, she told me that CES actually consulted with her about what category to put sex products into for this one year trial.
发明者洛拉（Lora）告诉我，CES实际上与她协商了在为期一年的试验中将性用品归入什么类别。
CES's instinct?
CES 的本能？
Do it like they used to-- sex in its own category, in its own room.
像他们以前那样做——在自己的类别里，在自己的房间里做爱。
And I pushed back on that really hard, because I didn't want to be sequestered off in the corner.
我非常努力地拒绝了这一点，因为我不想被隔离在角落里。
So she argued for sex toys to fall under the Health and Wellness category.
因此，她主张将性玩具归入健康和保健类别。
But me, I don't know if I agree.
但我，我不知道我是否同意。
When I think of the sex toys that I have used in my lifetime, I probably can't say on the radio.
当我想起我一生中使用过的性玩具时，我可能无法在广播中说出来。
When I think of, like, the sex toys that I have been aware of in my lifetime, the point, as I understand it, is pleasure.
当我想到我一生中所知道的性玩具时，据我所知，重点是快乐。
And I think it's OK for products to be marketed to women simply for the fact that they create pleasure.
我认为，仅仅因为产品能带来快乐就向女性推销产品是可以的。
And I actually just-- I wonder why Health and Wellness.
事实上，我只是——我想知道为什么是健康与保健。
I wonder why it couldn't just be in a category called Pleasure.
我想知道为什么它不能只是属于一个名为“快乐”的类别。
Why isn't pleasure just good enough?
为什么快乐还不够好？
It is pleasure, but as far as I read it, pleasure is also a part of health and wellness.
这是快乐，但据我所知，快乐也是健康和保健的一部分。
In this one area, Lora's agenda is a lot like CES's.
在这一领域，Lora 的议程很像 CES 的议程。
They both want to sell sex.
他们都想出卖性。
And CES's old solution to the problem was to segregate sex in a separate room in a separate building.
CES 解决这个问题的旧方法是将性别隔离在单独建筑物的单独房间中。
But Lora doesn't want to risk losing anyone.
但洛拉不想冒失去任何人的风险。
She wants to sell to everybody on the main floor with the mainstream products.
她想把主流产品卖给主楼层的所有人。
And if calling her sex robot a health and wellness product gets it out of the lab and into the world, she's fine with that.
如果称她的性爱机器人为健康和保健产品，并使其走出实验室并走向世界，她对此表示同意。
It's still hidden, just in a different way.
它仍然是隐藏的，只是以不同的方式。
Lina Misitzis is one of the producers of our show.
Lina Misitzis 是我们节目的制作人之一。
Coming up, a woman puts on a suit that turns her invisible.
出现后，一名女子穿上了一套让她隐形的套装。
What could possibly go wrong in that scenario?
在这种情况下可能会出现什么问题？
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
Act Three: Fraught Couture Ira Glass This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
第三幕：充满忧虑的高级定制 Ira Glass 在美国生活中，我是 Ira Glass。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们每周的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's show, Escape from the Lab, stories of the unintended consequences-- yes, unintended consequences-- when a lab subject leaves the lab and heads into the bigger world.
今天的节目《逃离实验室》讲述了当实验对象离开实验室进入更广阔的世界时所产生的意想不到的后果——是的，意想不到的后果。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, Fraught Couture.
第三幕，充满忧虑的时装。
So we end our show today with a piece of fiction that was actually written for this episode of our show.
所以我们今天用一篇实际上是为我们节目的这一集写的小说来结束我们的节目。
In fact, we had this story, and then we went looking for the other stories to put with it.
事实上，我们有这个故事，然后我们去寻找其他故事来配合它。
It's by one of our co-workers, Neil Drumming, and it's read for us by actor Susan K.
这是我们的一位同事 Neil Drumming 创作的，由演员 Susan K. 为我们朗读。
Watson.
华生.
The clerk at the sporting goods store in Georgetown eyes me like I'm taking a dump in his trail mix.
乔治敦体育用品店的店员看着我，就像我在他的混合干果里拉屎一样。
Like a black woman can't purchase camping gear.
就像黑人女性无法购买露营装备一样。
I toss my new overpriced LL Bean rucksack on the counter with the rest of the stuff, hoping Chet will just ring it up and keep his opinions to himself.
我把我新买的价格过高的 LL Bean 背包和其他东西一起扔在柜台上，希望切特能打电话给我，并保留他的意见。
Hell, what I really want to do is reach under my collar, power up the special adaptive camouflage on my suit, and poof, disappear right in front of his stupid face.
天啊，我真正想做的就是把手伸到衣领下面，启动我套装上的特殊自适应迷彩，然后噗的一声，消失在他愚蠢的脸前。
But A, I've been a little wary of cloaking since the incident.
但是，自从那次事件发生以来，我一直对隐身感到有点警惕。
And B, the suit's in the trunk of my car.
B，这套衣服在我汽车后备箱里。
I'm all Ann Taylor business casual for my meeting today.
我今天开会时穿的是安·泰勒商务休闲装。
And C, Chet and his stank eye are not entirely off base.
C、切特和他那双臭眼睛也并非完全没有道理。
Truth is, I don't know how to use most of the stuff I'm buying.
事实是，我不知道如何使用我购买的大部分东西。
I was always more of an indoor kid.
我一直都是一个宅在家里的孩子。
The whole private military super soldier thing is kind of a fluke.
整个私人军事超级士兵的事情有点侥幸。
I shove the gear into the trunk of my Honda Civic A2, climb in on the passenger side-- I'm old school-- and recline the seat back as far as it can go.
我把齿轮塞进本田思域 A2 的后备箱，爬到乘客一侧——我是老派——然后将座椅靠背尽可能地倾斜。
I speak the destination, and the A2 quietly shifts into drive and pulls out.
我说出目的地，A2 就悄悄地换入行驶档并驶出。
We've got some time.
我们还有一些时间。
Let me tell you how I got here.
让我告诉你我是怎么来到这里的。
I came out of college doing administrative work for defense subcontractors-- data analysis, asset forfeiture, anything to pay Howard University back and support my impressive weed habit.
大学毕业后，我为国防分包商做行政工作——数据分析、资产没收、任何偿还霍华德大学费用并支持我令人印象深刻的杂草习惯的事情。
By my early 20s, I had built up a pretty high level of security clearance for a civilian.
到了 20 岁出头，我已经获得了相当高水平的平民安全许可。
I was bored behind a desk, though.
不过，我坐在桌子后面很无聊。
The first time a field agent let me hold his gun, I was like, yas!
第一次现场特工让我拿着枪时，我当时想，是的！
I jumped from agency to agency-- DEA, FBI, ICE.
我从一个机构跳到另一个机构——DEA、FBI、ICE。
And then I pulled a gangster move.
然后我做了一个黑帮动作。
Remember Class 8A, the government's now defunct development program for disadvantaged businesses?
还记得政府为弱势企业制定的现已失效的 8A 级发展计划吗？
I launched my own minority led private security company.
我创办了自己的少数族裔领导的私人保安公司。
You know how we do.
你知道我们是怎么做的。
The world had basically been imploding since 2020, and the US defense tab was wide open.
自 2020 年以来，世界基本上处于崩溃状态，而美国的国防开支却敞开了。
Me and my guys started to piece together a living wage doing Black Ops work-- Latin America, the Mideast, most of it pretty unsavory.
我和我的伙计们开始通过黑色行动的工作拼凑一份生活工资——拉丁美洲、中东，其中大部分都非常令人讨厌。
Surgical hits, regime change.
外科手术式打击，政权更迭。
I learned the secret to doing dirt.
我学会了做肮脏事的秘诀。
Do it and walk away.
做完然后走开。
Don't feel anything.
别有什么感觉。
I got good at it.
我很擅长。
But the bigger firms like DynCorp and Sierra kept muscling us aside, snapping up the best jobs in all the global hot zones.
但像 DynCorp 和 Sierra 这样的大公司不断把我们挤到一边，抢占全球所有热点地区最好的工作机会。
That all changed when the suits came out.
当套装问世后，一切都改变了。
This was a few years ago.
这是几年前的事了。
The DoD very discreetly announced that they were looking for subcontractors to field test some new nano engineered adaptive camouflage uniforms.
美国国防部非常谨慎地宣布，他们正在寻找分包商来现场测试一些新型纳米工程自适应迷彩服。
No cool acronym.
没有很酷的缩写。
They were for stealth use in ground conflicts.
它们是在地面冲突中秘密使用的。
The suit was made entirely of a melanin based polymer.
该套装完全由黑色素聚合物制成。
It was synthetic melanin whipped up in labs.
它是在实验室中合成的黑色素。
But that didn't stop me from raising the fuss in the right circles.
但这并没有阻止我在正确的圈子里引起骚动。
I played the race card as hard as I could play it.
我尽我所能地打出比赛牌。
I mean, the US military was beta testing high tech leotards fashioned from the souls of black folk.
我的意思是，美国军方正在对由黑人灵魂制成的高科技紧身衣进行测试。
Someone in the Defense Department had to have enough PR savvy to understand why they couldn't do that without handing one to the premier intersectional mercenary in the business, me.
国防部的某个人必须具有足够的公关头脑，才能理解为什么他们不能做到这一点，而不将其交给业内首屈一指的跨部门雇佣兵，我。
And so I leveled up.
于是我就升级了。
The A2 pings me as we pull into the parking lot in Pentagon City.
当我们驶入五角大楼城的停车场时，A2 向我发出了叮当声。
That reminds me.
这让我想起了。
I'm going to have to ditch the old girl.
我将不得不抛弃那个老女孩。
I'm playing it too sloppy as it is, running errands in my own car and so close to headquarters.
我实在是太草率了，开着自己的车办事，而且离总部这么近。
Besides, something tells me autonomous automobiles don't make great getaway cars.
此外，有件事告诉我，自动驾驶汽车并不能成为出色的逃亡汽车。
Security waves me through the lobby, staring at my chest in lieu of asking for ID.
保安挥手让我穿过大厅，盯着我的胸部，没有要求出示身份证件。
I'm not going to miss that.
我不会错过那个。
Nor will I miss the bland '90s pop cocktail playing in the elevator.
我也不会怀念电梯里播放的平淡的 90 年代流行鸡尾酒。
Gina's sitting rigidly behind her desk as I walk into her office.
当我走进吉娜的办公室时，她正僵硬地坐在办公桌后面。
I'm not worried.
我不担心。
I know why I'm here, why she called me in.
我知道我为什么在这里，为什么她叫我进来。
She's going to tell me that two weeks ago, there was an incident involving the accidental shooting of a civilian non-combatant in Bamako, Mali.
她要告诉我，两周前，马里巴马科发生了一起意外枪击一名平民非战斗人员的事件。
Then she's going to inform me that there's to be an official inquiry into the incident and by which agency.
然后她会通知我将对这一事件进行正式调查，并由哪个机构进行调查。
Finally, she's going to lean in, narrow her eyes, and ask me firmly if I had anything to do with said incident.
最后，她会倾身过来，眯起眼睛，坚定地问我是否与上述事件有关。
Because she knows that I was in Bamako two weeks ago, shadowing possible members of a radical insurgency.
因为她知道我两周前在巴马科，跟踪可能是激进叛乱分子的成员。
That's her job as my official DoD liaison-- to know where I am at all times, at least as often as I decide to tell her.
作为我的国防部官方联络人，她的工作就是随时了解我在哪里，至少是在我决定告诉她的时候。
When Gina and I are off the clock, tangled up in her cozy two-story house in Southeast, I like to call her my handler, then roll out of bed before she can catch me and debrief me.
当我和吉娜下班后，在她位于东南部的舒适的两层楼房子里纠缠在一起时，我喜欢称她为我的经纪人，然后在她抓住我并向我汇报之前从床上滚下来。
As you were, she yells, before jumping up and chasing me down.
就像你一样，她喊道，然后跳起来追我。
That I'm going to miss.
我会想念的。
Gina tells me to shut the door behind me.
吉娜让我关上身后的门。
Then she says everything I think she's going to say, except not the way I think she's going to say it.
然后她说了我认为她会说的一切，除了不是我认为她会说的方式。
Her voice is trembling.
她的声音在颤抖。
She's worried about me.
她很担心我。
Jesus, Gina.
天哪，吉娜。
There you go overreacting again, I think to myself.
我心里想，你又反应过度了。
I mean, the situation wasn't good.
我的意思是，情况不太好。
It was a shit show.
这真是一场狗屎秀。
But as military clusterfucks and hostile dust bowls go, it wasn't unusual.
但随着军事上的混乱和敌对的沙尘暴的发生，这并不罕见。
Really, it was just cross signals.
事实上，这只是交叉信号。
US Special Forces had surrounded the guy's house, not knowing I was inside.
美国特种部队包围了那个人的房子，却不知道我在里面。
I mean, how could they?
我的意思是，他们怎么可能？
I want to tell Gina not to worry about me anymore.
我想告诉吉娜不要再为我担心了。
But then she'll want to know what that means.
但随后她会想知道这意味着什么。
So instead I say what I've been planning to say since I put on my Ann Taylor blouse this morning.
所以我想说的是自从今天早上我穿上安·泰勒衬衫以来我一直想说的话。
I wasn't there.
我当时不在场。
It sucks that that happened, but I wasn't there.
很遗憾发生了这样的事，但我不在场。
Gina's quiet.
吉娜很安静。
My hand involuntarily reaches for my shirt collar, hoping to find the neck of the suit popping out.
我的手不由自主地伸向衬衫领子，希望能看到西装的领口露出来。
Then I remember I'm not wearing it.
然后我想起来我没有戴它。
It's in the trunk of my car.
它在我汽车的后备箱里。
"They airlifted him from Bamako to Walter Reed for observation," she says.
“他们把他从巴马科空运到沃尔特里德进行观察，”她说。
"What?" I snap.
“什么？”我啪地一声。
"The civilian from Mali.
“来自马里的平民。
He's at Walter Reed Hospital."
他在沃尔特里德医院。”
"I thought he was dead." "I thought you said you weren't there."
“我以为他死了。” “我以为你说过你不在场。”
I say nothing.
我什么也没说。
"He's in a coma," she says.
“他处于昏迷状态，”她说。
My mind races back to that day.
我的思绪飞速回想起那一天。
There was a lot of blood.
有很多血。
I thought he was dead.
我以为他死了。
"Kelly," barks Gina, as if saying my name will lasso me into this moment.
“凯莉，”吉娜叫道，仿佛说出我的名字就会把我带入这一刻。
"We've received reports that for days, the man had been telling friends and neighbors that he thought he was being haunted."
“我们收到报告称，几天来，该男子一直告诉朋友和邻居，他认为自己被闹鬼了。”
"Like a man or a woman that he could only see out of the corner of his eye when he wasn't really looking, watching him, following him.
“就像一个男人或女人，当他没有真正看、看着他、跟随他时，他只能用眼角的余光看到。
That's what he said.
他就是这么说的。
Like a ghost."
就像幽灵一样。”
"I wasn't there," I repeat.
“我不在那儿，”我重复道。
I see Gina's hand about to move toward me, but I'm already backing away.
我看到吉娜的手正要向我靠近，但我已经后退了。
As I head for the elevator, I take small solace in the knowledge that when they come after me, they won't send her.
当我走向电梯时，我感到小小的安慰，因为我知道当他们来追我时，他们不会送她。
I didn't shoot the guy in Mali.
我没有在马里开枪射杀那个人。
I was in the house with him, sure.
当然，我和他一起在房子里。
But by then, I was wrapping up the investigation.
但到那时，我已经结束了调查。
He was no insurgent, not even a threat.
他不是叛乱分子，甚至不是威胁。
Just a cagey dude waxing too political on Snapchat.
只是一个在 Snapchat 上过于政治化的谨慎家伙。
Besides, I was anxious as hell to get out of there.
此外，我非常渴望离开那里。
Honestly, I've been feeling off since I first touched down in Africa.
老实说，自从我第一次踏上非洲以来，我就一直感觉不舒服。
When I was wearing the suit, I was jumpy.
当我穿上西装时，我很紧张。
I was hearing things.
我听到了一些事情。
I felt overstimulated and hyper aware.
我感到过度刺激和高度警觉。
And I was starting to feel things, like other people's feelings when they passed too close to me in the street.
我开始感受到一些事情，就像其他人在街上离我太近时的感受一样。
The guy whose house I'd been snooping around, I could sense his fear.
我一直在他的房子里窥探的那个人，我能感觉到他的恐惧。
I didn't like how it felt, being inside other people like this, even if it was helpful.
我不喜欢这种感觉，像这样进入别人的内心，即使这很有帮助。
Like, when the special forces squad creeped on the house, nervous as hell, I felt them coming.
就像，当特种部队小队紧张地爬进房子时，我感觉到他们来了。
It's like they were vibrating outside of their bodies through the walls, and I was an antenna.
就好像他们通过墙壁在身体之外振动，而我是一根天线。
That's why I went outside-- to talk them down.
这就是为什么我走到外面去说服他们。
The suit's camouflage isn't perfect.
这套衣服的迷彩并不完美。
Wearing it, I'm nearly impossible to spot in dark or busy areas.
戴着它，我在黑暗或繁忙的地方几乎不可能被发现。
But if you stare right at it, it's like someone's smudged reality with a Photoshop brush, a moving distortion in space time.
但如果你直视它，它就像有人用 Photoshop 画笔弄脏了现实，时空移动的扭曲。
I walked calmly out the back door, but before I could pull the hood down and put my hands in the air, one of the special forces guys saw the smudge and let one go.
我平静地走出后门，但在我拉下引擎盖并将双手举在空中之前，一名特种部队人员看到了污迹并放开了其中一个。
At the moment I heard the pop from his rifle, I felt a surge of, I guess, resistance that started in my chest and forced its way out through my pores.
当我听到他的步枪发出砰的一声时，我猜我感到一股阻力从我的胸口开始，并从我的毛孔中强行排出。
And when that wave reached the suit, it's like the suit radiated that force outward 50 times stronger.
当那股波浪到达宇航服时，宇航服向外辐射的力量就强了 50 倍。
The bullet ricocheted off my shoulder through the door and into the house.
子弹从我的肩膀上弹开，穿过门，进入了房子。
I heard the civilian noncombatant scream and fall to the floor.
我听到平民非战斗人员尖叫着倒在地上。
I don't know what he said, but I know what he felt.
我不知道他说了什么，但我知道他的感受。
It was as clear to me as if he'd whispered it right into my ear.
我听得很清楚，就好像他在我耳边低语一样。
Ghost.
鬼。
Since Africa, I had been doing some research on the origins of the suit.
从非洲开始，我就一直在研究这套衣服的起源。
As far back as the '90s, the military had been pouring money into researching melanin.
早在上世纪九十年代，军方就一直投入大量资金研究黑色素。
It was known that certain birds used the chemical to change color.
众所周知，某些鸟类使用这种化学物质来改变颜色。
So it was a no brainer that defense would be looking at it as a way to camouflage troops.
因此，国防部毫无疑问会将其视为伪装部队的一种方式。
Some scientists also hypothesized that it was melanin that gave blood worms their incredible jaw strength.
一些科学家还推测，正是黑色素赋予了红虫令人难以置信的下巴力量。
But I don't know shit about blood worms.
但我对血虫一无所知。
What I do know is that the suit was not designed to stop or repel bullets.
我所知道的是，这套衣服并不是为了阻挡或击退子弹而设计的。
It's not armor.
这不是盔甲。
Something is happening.
有事正在发生。
The suit is changing, evolving.
西装正在发生变化、发展。
And I think it might have something to do with who's wearing it.
我认为这可能与佩戴它的人有关。
I know this is going to sound crazy, but when I was a sophomore at Howard, this senior with an ankh around his neck used to follow me through the quad, calling me queen and preaching to me about the principles of comedic spirituality.
我知道这听起来很疯狂，但当我在霍华德读二年级时，这位脖子上戴着安卡的大四学生常常跟着我穿过四方院，称我为女王，并向我宣讲喜剧灵性的原则。
I bet he would've had a field day with this suit.
我敢打赌他穿着这套衣服一定会玩得很开心。
He'd say the concentrated melanin must be amplifying ancient African mysticism or whatever.
他会说浓缩的黑色素一定是放大了古代非洲的神秘主义或其他什么。
He'd say the suit was helping me channel my ancestors.
他会说这套衣服正在帮助我引导我的祖先。
Hell, he'd probably paint a sankofa on the chest and teach himself how to fly.
天哪，他可能会在胸前画一个桑科法并自学如何飞行。
He was full of that kind of bullshit.
他满脑子都是这种废话。
Me, I'm thinking this suit never should have been made at all.
我，我认为这套衣服根本就不应该制作。
That it's the result of cocky science assholes and soldiers hacking into natural power they don't understand and can't control.
这是自大的科学混蛋和士兵侵入他们不理解和无法控制的自然力量的结果。
From the few very guarded conversations that I was able to have about this without setting off alarm bells over at the Pentagon, there is only one other person successfully deployed with the suit who ever reported side effects like mine.
从我在没有引起五角大楼警钟的情况下就此事进行的几次非常谨慎的对话来看，只有一个人成功地部署了该套装，并报告了像我一样的副作用。
That brother, a tough ex-Marine from South Philly, is currently doodling on the wall at a psychiatric hospital somewhere in New Mexico.
这位来自南费城的坚强的前海军陆战队员兄弟目前正在新墨西哥州某处精神病院的墙上涂鸦。
The hospital staff won't go near him.
医院的工作人员不会靠近他。
They say he can tell you what you had for breakfast or who you're fucking just by looking at you.
他们说他只要看着你就能知道你早餐吃了什么或者你在和谁上床。
That's not going to be me, stuck in some psych ward somewhere, David Blaine to a bunch of orderlies.
那不会是我，被困在某个精神病房里，大卫布莱恩对一群勤务兵。
That's why I'm running.
这就是我跑步的原因。
After Mali, I knew I needed some time alone with the suit, to figure out exactly what was going on, what it was doing to me.
在马里之后，我知道我需要一些时间与这套套装单独相处，以弄清楚究竟发生了什么，它对我做了什么。
I figured I'd do some beta testing of my own.
我想我应该自己做一些测试。
I'd go off the grid, head west, maybe even make my way to New Mexico or San Diego, where a lot of the original melanin research was done.
我会脱离电网，向西行驶，甚至可能前往新墨西哥州或圣地亚哥，那里进行了许多原始黑色素研究。
No one's supposed to know about the suits, not foreign governments.
没有人应该知道这些诉讼，外国政府也不应该知道。
Folks in the White House don't even know.
连白宫里的人都不知道。
So I knew that if I took off with it, someone would come looking to take it back.
所以我知道如果我带着它离开，就会有人来把它拿回来。
Until this morning, I was pretty confident I could stay gone.
直到今天早上，我还非常有信心我可以离开。
But now, I have another item on my to do list.
但现在，我的待办事项清单上还有另一项。
And I have to take care of it before I can leave.
我必须先处理好它，然后才能离开。
I meant what I said to Gina about this sort of eye witness who was currently convalescing in Bethesda.
我的意思是我对吉娜所说的关于目前正在贝塞斯达康复的目击者。
It sucked that he caught wind of me.
他听到我的风声真是太糟糕了。
It sucked that he caught a bullet that was meant for me.
真糟糕，他接住了一颗本来是给我的子弹。
Hell, it sucked that he'd gotten caught up in all this at all.
天哪，他竟然卷入这一切之中，真是太糟糕了。
But coma or no coma, he was proof-- literally living proof-- that I'd been at the center of that mess in Mali.
但无论昏迷与否，他都是证据——确切地说是活生生的证据——我曾处于马里那场混乱的中心。
And everything I'd learned over the years about how to do dirt and get away clean told me that this was simply not something I could let go.
多年来我所学到的关于如何清理污垢并干净利落地离开的一切都告诉我，这根本不是我可以放弃的东西。
He was a loose end that needed to be tied off.
他是一个需要绑起来的松散的末端。
Slipping into a secure military hospital sounds difficult, but not when you have a top secret cloaking device or when everyone inside already thinks you're a nurse.
潜入安全的军事医院听起来很困难，但当你拥有绝密的隐形装置或者里面的每个人都已经认为你是一名护士时，一切就不那么困难了。
I'm on the right floor in the correct ward before I even have to put the suit on.
在我穿上防护服之前，我就已经在正确的楼层、正确的病房了。
I stare at it for a minute.
我盯着它看了一分钟。
It's an impenetrable impossible matte black.
这是一种坚不可摧的哑光黑色。
But at the same time, if you gaze into the fabric, it's every color in the spectrum.
但与此同时，如果你仔细观察织物，你会发现它是光谱中的每种颜色。
It feels good to put it back on.
重新戴上的感觉真好。
I realize as it bonds to my skin that I've been missing it.
当它与我的皮肤结合时，我意识到我一直在想念它。
I feel stronger, like twice myself.
我感觉自己比以前更坚强了。
I shake out of this Bilbo Baggins moment and exit the bathroom stall.
我摆脱了比尔博·巴金斯的时刻，退出了卫生间。
I sneak easily around the two schlubs who got stuck guarding a coma patient and enter the Mali guy's room.
我轻松地绕过两个看守昏迷病人的笨蛋，进入马里人的房间。
He's alone in his bed, breathing slowly through a tube.
他独自一人躺在床上，通过一根管子缓慢地呼吸。
Machines chirp all around him.
机器在他周围叽叽喳喳地叫着。
I approach the bed and check the name on the chart.
我走近床边，查看图表上的名字。
John Doe.
约翰·多伊.
Of course.
当然。
Luckily, I'm wearing psychic pajamas.
幸运的是，我穿着通灵睡衣。
I lean in and put my hand over his.
我倾身过去，将手放在他的手上。
And whoa.
哇哦。
This is new.
这是新的。
His memories come rushing at me.
他的记忆涌向我。
It's like his mind pours up through the sleeves of the suit and into mine.
就好像他的思想通过西装的袖子涌入我的。
It takes me a second to slow it down.
我花了一秒钟才放慢速度。
His name is Oumar.
他的名字叫奥马尔。
Wow.
哇。
I really underestimated this guy.
我真是低估了这个人。
I flip through his recent past like a carousel slide show.
我像轮播幻灯片一样翻阅他最近的过去。
The entire time I'd been watching Oumar in Mali, he'd been watching me or trying.
我在马里观察奥马尔的整个过程中，他一直在观察我或尝试。
He'd actually caught a few glimpses of me at my sloppiest, circling around behind him to see who he was texting, sliding into his room as he drifted off to sleep.
事实上，他在我最马虎的时候瞥见了我，在他身后转了一圈，看看他在给谁发短信，在他渐渐入睡时溜进了他的房间。
He'd been looking right at me as the bullet bounced off me and struck his skull.
当子弹从我身上弹开并击中他的头骨时，他一直看着我。
He's going to recover from that, by the way.
顺便说一句，他会从中恢复过来。
His vitals are good.
他的生命体征良好。
I find myself thinking, maybe I don't have to do what I came here to do after all.
我发现自己在想，也许我根本不必做我来这里要做的事情。
It's not like he actually saw my face.
他并没有真正看到我的脸。
So what if he wakes up and tells a few more people he saw a ghost?
如果他醒来并告诉更多的人他看到了鬼又怎么样呢？
What's the harm in that?
这有什么坏处呢？
The thought surprises me.
这个想法让我感到惊讶。
I'm used to cleaning up after myself.
我习惯了自己清理。
But I'm also relieved.
但我也释然了。
I back away from the hospital bed, thinking if I leave now, I'll still have a pretty good head start on whatever spooks are chasing me down.
我从病床上退了一步，心想如果我现在离开，我仍然可以在任何追捕我的幽灵中抢占先机。
That's when it occurs to me.
就在那时我想到了。
I can't just leave him here.
我不能把他留在这里。
The people who are coming after me have way more to lose than I do.
那些追随我的人会失去比我更多的东西。
If they're ready to kill me for stealing the suit, they'll take Oumar out just for knowing about it.
如果他们准备因为我偷了这套衣服而杀了我，他们就会因为知道这件事而把奥马尔带出去。
I'm still holding his hand.
我还握着他的手。
I squeeze his fingers, scan his dark features, and then I realized, I can't let that happen.
我捏捏他的手指，扫视他阴暗的面容，然后我意识到，我不能让这种事发生。
I have to protect him.
我必须保护他。
The thought really freaks me out.
这个想法真的让我感到害怕。
It seems to come from somewhere deeper inside me than me, pulled up to the surface by-- by-- oh, shit.
它似乎来自于我内心比我更深处的某个地方，被——被——哦，操，拉到了表面。
It's the suit.
这是西装。
I know it.
我知道这。
First, it has me reading minds, and now I'm supposed to care about this guy.
首先，它让我读心术，现在我应该关心这个家伙。
Not convenient.
不方便。
Not cool.
不酷。
I could die right here today fighting for some African dude I don't even know, all because of a double extra strength dose of melanin.
我今天可能会死在这里，为某个我什至不认识的非洲人而战，这一切都是因为双倍额外剂量的黑色素。
I get a text from Gina that reads simply, "as you were." I know she means they're coming, and I should run.
我收到吉娜发来的一条短信，上面写着：“就像你以前一样。”我知道她的意思是他们要来了，我应该逃跑。
I don't.
我不知道。
I move to stand between Oumar's bed and the door.
我走到奥马尔的床和门之间。
I've got no weapon, and my hand-to-hand combat training is rusty as all hell.
我没有武器，我的肉搏战训练也已经生锈了。
Pray the ancestors can help me with that.
求各位前辈们帮帮我。
I take off my earrings.
我摘下耳环。
Susan K.
苏珊·K.
Watson reading a short story by Neil Drumming.
沃森正在阅读尼尔·德鲁明的短篇小说。
Susan is in the TV show This is Us, which has a new season, and she's in the Mr. Rogers film with Tom Hanks.
苏珊出演了新一季的电视节目《我们这一天》，她还与汤姆·汉克斯一起出演了《罗杰斯先生》电影。
It's coming out soon.
很快就出来了。
Credits Ira Glass Our program was produced today by Neil Drumming.
图片来源 Ira Glass 今天我们的节目由 Neil Drumming 制作。
The people who put our show together include Emanuele Berry, Susan Burton, Sean Cole, Jessica Lussenhop, Miki Meek, Lina Misitzis, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Raimondo, Nadia Reiman, Robyn Semien, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Updike.
制作我们节目的人员包括 Emanuele Berry、Susan Burton、Sean Cole、Jessica Lussenhop、Miki Meek、Lina Misitzis、Stowe Nelson、Katherine Raimondo、Nadia Reiman、Robyn Semien、Lilly Sullivan、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Nancy Updike。
Our managing editor is Diane Wu.
我们的总编辑是 Diane Wu。
Our executive editor is David Kestenbaum.
我们的执行编辑是大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
Special thanks today to Carrie Morgan, Alvin Melathe, Peter Warren and AVN, Zoe Ligon, Wendy Zukerman, Kaitlyn Sawrey, and Lois Drabkin.
今天特别感谢 Carrie Morgan、Alvin Melathe、Peter Warren 和 AVN、Zoe Ligon、Wendy Zukerman、Kaitlyn Sawrey 和 Lois Drabkin。
Original music for our science fiction story in the third act was composed by Blue Dot Sessions, Ricardo Gutierrez, and Andrae Taylor.
第三幕科幻故事的原创音乐由 Blue Dot Sessions、Ricardo Gutierrez 和 Andrae Taylor 创作。
Our website thisamericanlife.org, where you can stream our archive of over 680 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费地播放我们的 680 多集档案。
There's also videos and tons of other stuff there.
那里还有视频和大量其他内容。
Go get our app, which has all that stuff and also lets you download as many episodes as you want.
去获取我们的应用程序，它拥有所有这些东西，还可以让您下载任意数量的剧集。
Again, thisamericanlife.org.
再说一次，thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he was complaining this week about how boring weddings seem to him these days.
你知道，他本周一直在抱怨现在的婚礼对他来说是多么无聊。
And he got all-- I don't know-- he got all nostalgic about how they were so much more fun back in the '70s.
他非常怀念 70 年代的时光，我不知道，那时的他们是多么有趣。
And they would have, you know, tables for porn stars to sit and sign autographs.
你知道，他们还会有桌子供色情明星坐下来签名。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。