659: Before the Next One - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #659 | October 12, 2018 659: Before the Next One Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 659 集 | 2018 年 10 月 12 日 659：在下一篇之前 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass It's a school trying to do the right thing, a school trying something new, trying to keep its students safe.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 这是一所试图做正确事情的学校，一所尝试新事物、努力确保学生安全的学校。
So they bought handguns, seven of them, Glock 9mm, to use if a shooter comes into their building.
因此，他们买了七把手枪，都是格洛克 9 毫米手枪，以便在枪手进入他们的大楼时使用。
And a week and a half before school started, after a bunch of training, they were running their first drill in the school building with their guns, fresh out of the boxes.
开学前一周半，经过一系列训练，他们拿着刚从盒子里拿出来的枪在教学楼里进行了第一次演习。
Here, look at them, make sure they're all loading.
在这里，查看它们，确保它们都已加载。
Look at them.
看看他们。
They all should be.
他们都应该是。
The building's mostly empty, no kids around.
大楼里几乎空无一人，周围没有孩子。
It's a district in rural Ohio that let us record on the condition that we not say their name on the air.
这是俄亥俄州乡村的一个地区，允许我们录音，但条件是我们不能在广播中说出他们的名字。
It's eight people on this team.
这个团队有八个人。
Only two teachers volunteered for it.
只有两名老师自愿参加。
The rest are a guidance counselor, two custodians, and the three administrators who run the school.
其余的人是一名辅导员、两名保管员和三名管理学校的行政人员。
One of them is the only woman on the team.
其中一名是团队中唯一的女性。
Producer Lisa Pollak watched them doing this.
制片人丽莎·波拉克（Lisa Pollak）看着他们这样做。
Lisa, so explain how this works exactly.
丽莎，请解释一下它到底是如何工作的。
OK, so the seven guns are locked in these small safes that have been installed in locations all over the school.
好的，这七把枪被锁在安装在学校各处的小保险箱里。
I saw them run a bunch of drills.
我看到他们进行了一系列演习。
And in all of them, the goal was to run to the nearest safe, get the gun out of the safe, and then get to where the shooter is as soon as possible.
在所有这些游戏中，目标都是跑到最近的保险箱，从保险箱中取出枪，然后尽快到达枪手所在的地方。
And they time each drill.
他们为每次训练计时。
OK.
好的。
We're going to play a tape of this.
我们要播放这盘磁带。
I just want to warn listeners there are loud gunshots from blanks that they fired during these drills.
我只是想警告听众，在这些演习中，他们发射的空弹会发出很大的枪声。
So the first little glitch they came to was that some of the team members actually had trouble getting into the safes.
因此，他们遇到的第一个小问题是，一些团队成员实际上无法进入保险箱。
You have to put your finger on the sensor.
您必须将手指放在传感器上。
There's a sheriff's deputy.
有一名副警长。
He's playing the shooter.
他在扮演射手。
I'm following a guy named John.
我正在跟踪一个名叫约翰的人。
He's the principal for grade six through 12.
他是六年级至十二年级的校长。
He's running from his office, darts by the cafeteria.
他从办公室跑出来，穿过自助餐厅。
He's got a gun.
他有枪。
He's wearing a bulletproof vest.
他穿着防弹背心。
He's holding a walkie talkie, very focused, very aware the clock is ticking.
他拿着对讲机，非常专注，非常清楚时间正在流逝。
He's told me that every few seconds in of one of these shootings, another kid can be killed.
他告诉我，在一次枪击事件中，每隔几秒钟就会有另一个孩子被杀。
Elementary wing, it's in the elementary wing.
初级翼，就在初级翼。
Elementary wing, the body from [INAUDIBLE].
初级翼，来自[听不清]的身体。
Elementary wing-- the building also has middle school and high school.
小学侧——该建筑还设有初中和高中。
Right.
正确的。
So the principal's running down the hallway, and he's just about to get to the area where the elementary kids are.
校长沿着走廊跑，他正要到达小学生们所在的区域。
But there's a door there, and it's locked.
但那里有一扇门，而且是锁着的。
This happens automatically when the school goes into lockdown.
当学校进入封锁状态时，这种情况会自动发生。
So he and the two guys with him are stuck.
所以他和他身边的两个人就被困住了。
He fumbles for his keys, and he's trying to find the right one.
他摸索着钥匙，并试图找到合适的一把。
Yeah.
是的。
[INAUDIBLE].
[听不清]。
Lisa Pollak He's trying to unlock the door.
丽莎·波拉克 他正试图打开门。
Door opens.
门打开。
They're on the elementary school side.
他们在小学那边。
And they find the shooter right there.
他们就在那里找到了枪手。
So that's the goal of the exercise.
这就是练习的目标。
They got there.
他们到了那里。
And they don't pretend to shoot him or anything.
他们不会假装开枪射击他或其他什么。
They're just timing the response.
他们只是在计时回应。
And it wasn't great.
这并不好。
That was an eternity compared to the first time.
与第一次相比，那是一个永恒。
Yeah.
是的。
Oh, yeah, it was because you got to get through the doors.
哦，是的，那是因为你必须进门。
All clear.
一切都清楚了。
Thank you for your cooperation.
感谢您的合作。
Lisa, it's so controversial to put guns into a school.
丽莎，把枪带进学校是有争议的。
Like, why did they choose to do it here?
比如，他们为什么选择在这里做？
Like, why did that seem like the best option to them?
比如，为什么这对他们来说似乎是最好的选择？
Well, I talked to John, the principal, about this.
嗯，我和校长约翰谈过这件事。
Yeah.
是的。
Lisa Pollak For a long time, he agreed with people who think guns in schools is a bad idea.
丽莎·波拉克（Lisa Pollak） 长期以来，他同意人们认为学校里持枪是个坏主意的观点。
And even now, he doesn't think it's something that's right for every school.
即使现在，他也不认为这适合每所学校。
He says he's not a gun guy, didn't grow up with guns, had never used one.
他说他不是枪迷，不是伴随着枪长大的，也从未使用过枪。
Then he came to this school.
然后他就来到了这所学校。
And this school is pretty remote, in an area that doesn't even have its own police force.
而且这所学校相当偏远，所在地区甚至没有自己的警察部队。
So if a shooter got in the building, they could be waiting a long time for help.
因此，如果枪手进入大楼，他们可能会等待很长时间才能寻求帮助。
I don't know that I was necessarily sold that this was the right thing to do, but what are we going to do?
我不知道我是否一定相信这是正确的做法，但我们要做什么？
We're 15 minutes away from an ambulance being here.
距离救护车到站还有 15 分钟路程。
We're 15 minutes away from a sheriff department being here.
我们距离这里的治安部门只有 15 分钟路程。
We're 15 minutes away-- you worry.
我们还有 15 分钟路程——你担心吧。
You worry because you realize that you're on your own.
你担心是因为你意识到你只能靠自己。
And so I wanted to learn.
所以我想学习。
And so I went out and started learning how to shoot a gun and how to handle a gun, and-- which is different.
所以我出去开始学习如何开枪以及如何操作枪，而且——这是不同的。
The first time you shoot a gun, that's pretty scary.
第一次用枪射击，那是相当可怕的。
It was scary to me.
这对我来说很可怕。
After that, he went through a lot of training, including one class where he was really forced to think through what it would mean, in a very literal way, to have to shoot someone in school.
之后，他接受了很多训练，其中有一堂课，他被迫以非常字面的方式思考在学校开枪射击意味着什么。
In one exercise, the instructor said--
在一次练习中，教练说——
You need to walk up to the target till as close as you can.
你需要走到目标，直到尽可能接近。
And he says, and in your mind, you have to envision this as a shooter in your cafeteria, and there's students all around.
他说，在你的脑海里，你必须把这想象成你的自助餐厅里有一个射手，周围都是学生。
How close do you have to get before you're confident you're going to hit that target?
在您确信自己能够实现该目标之前，距离目标有多近？
You've got to shoot that target, and you can't miss.
你必须射击那个目标，而且不能错过。
I can't miss.
我不能错过。
Because if I miss, there's a possibility of somebody else getting hurt.
因为如果我失手，其他人就有可能受伤。
All right?
好的？
And I can't let that happen.
我不能让这种事发生。
I can't let it be me who hurts a student in my school.
我不能让我伤害了我学校的学生。
Though, of course, he might have to shoot one of his students.
当然，他可能不得不射杀他的一名学生。
In a lot of these shootings, that's who the shooter is.
在许多枪击事件中，枪手就是枪手。
If you had told me years ago that this is what I'd be advocating or thinking, I wouldn't have believed you.
如果你几年前告诉我这就是我所提倡或思考的，我不会相信你。
But these things don't stop happening.
但这些事情并没有停止发生。
They just continue to happen.
它们只是继续发生。
These shootings do just continue to happen.
这些枪击事件确实还在继续发生。
Today on our program, we have all kinds of people trying to figure out what to do to prepare, like the staff at this school.
今天，在我们的节目中，各种各样的人都在试图弄清楚要做什么准备，就像这所学校的工作人员一样。
In general, it seems to plan for disaster, school administrators and others look at previous shootings.
总的来说，似乎是在为灾难做好准备，学校管理人员和其他人会查看以前的枪击事件。
They look to the past to anticipate the future, knowing full well the whole time there's a limit to what any planning can accomplish.
他们回顾过去来预测未来，深知任何计划所能实现的目标都是有限的。
If a shooter gets into a school, the sad fact is you cannot stop every tragic possibility.
如果枪手进入学校，可悲的事实是你无法阻止所有悲剧的可能性。
You can't stop everything.
你无法阻止一切。
Act one of our show today, we have people who are trying to learn from the past.
在我们今天的节目之一中，我们有人试图从过去学习。
They're trying to put in measures.
他们正在努力采取措施。
They're trying to be as thoughtful and thorough as they possibly can, and it's still not enough.
他们试图尽可能地周到和彻底，但这仍然不够。
Act two, we have people who have invented something that actually seems to work and help.
第二幕，我们有人发明了一些看起来确实有效和有帮助的东西。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act one, "Ready As You'll Never Be." For any school that's trying to figure out the best ways to prepare for a gunman, there's an example out there that might be really helpful, and that's Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida.
第一幕，“你永远不会做好准备”。对于任何试图找出应对枪手的最佳方法的学校来说，有一个可能真正有帮助的例子，那就是佛罗里达州帕克兰的马乔里·斯通曼·道格拉斯高中。
Just a month before the shooting that killed 17 people in that school, the teachers trained their students on new procedures they should follow in that exact situation.
就在该校发生导致 17 人死亡的枪击事件前一个月，老师们对学生进行了培训，让他们了解在这种情况下应遵循的新程序。
This came after a total overhaul of the school's emergency response planning.
这是在对学校应急响应计划进行全面改革之后发生的。
And the day of the shooting in a television interview, one of the teachers reflected on the effectiveness of that training.
枪击事件当天，一位老师在接受电视采访时反思了这次培训的有效性。
But I don't think we could have been more prepared than we were today.
但我认为我们不可能比今天做好更多准备。
And I mean, they knew what to do and we knew what to do.
我的意思是，他们知道该做什么，我们也知道该做什么。
And even still, even with that, we still have 17 casualties, 17 people that aren't going to return to their families.
即便如此，我们仍然有 17 名人员伤亡，其中 17 人将无法返回家人身边。
[CRYING] And to me, that's totally unacceptable.
[哭泣]对我来说，这是完全不能接受的。
Did the training they received save lives that day or didn't it?
那天他们接受的训练是否挽救了生命？
It's actually an open question.
这实际上是一个悬而未决的问题。
One of our producers, Robyn Semien, went to Parkland to talk to the teachers about what was actually in the training and how well it did or did not prepare them for what they went through.
我们的一位制片人罗宾·塞米恩 (Robyn Semien) 前往帕克兰与老师们讨论培训的实际内容以及培训为他们所经历的事情做好了准备或没有做好准备。
The training they did at Stoneman Douglas High School was an attempt to be as prepared as possible for a wide range of emergencies-- bomb threats, hurricane warnings, a bank robber nearby, an active shooter.
他们在斯通曼·道格拉斯高中进行的训练是为了尽可能地为各种紧急情况做好准备——炸弹威胁、飓风警报、附近的银行抢劫犯、活跃的枪手。
Douglas is a school with 11 buildings and over 3,000 students, so upgrading all their emergency procedures took months to plan and coordinate with faculty and district officers, police and fire departments.
道格拉斯是一所拥有 11 栋建筑和 3,000 多名学生的学校，因此升级所有应急程序需要花费数月时间与教职员工、学区官员、警察和消防部门进行规划和协调。
Melissa Falkowski teaches journalism at the high school.
梅丽莎·法尔科斯基在高中教授新闻学。
She's the teacher in that news clip you just heard.
她就是你刚才听到的那个新闻片段中的老师。
And the training was on her mind that night because she was on the committee that set it up.
那天晚上她脑子里一直想着培训，因为她是设立培训的委员会的成员。
She's an enthusiastic teacher, a planner.
她是一位热情的老师，一位规划者。
She believes in a good hard think and being proactive.
她相信认真思考和积极主动。
Once she and the other teachers had been trained, they ran their students through all the new drills.
一旦她和其他老师接受了培训，他们就让学生完成所有新的练习。
The whole school did this over two days in January.
一月份，全校在两天内完成了这项工作。
Teachers were told--
老师们被告知——
We want you to go back to every single class.
我们希望你回到每一节课。
We know it's going to be annoying.
我们知道这会很烦人。
We know the kids are going to get tired of hearing it by the time you get to the eighth period class because they're going to have heard it from every teacher, but they wanted us to go stand in front of the kids and go through all the emergency procedures.
我们知道，当你到第八节课时，孩子们会厌倦听到这些内容，因为他们会从每个老师那里听到这些内容，但他们希望我们站在孩子们面前并完成所有紧急程序。
This is what we do for a fire.
这就是我们为火灾所做的事情。
For every period?
每个时期？
Melissa Falkowski For every-- this is what a code black is.
Melissa Falkowski 对于每个人来说——这就是黑色代码。
This is what we do--
这就是我们所做的——
For two days?
两天？
Melissa Falkowski For two days, we went over the procedures with the kids.
梅丽莎·福尔科斯基 (Melissa Falkowski) 用了两天的时间与孩子们一起回顾了手术过程。
Why did you have to do it with each and every class?
为什么你必须在每堂课上都这样做？
Because they wanted to make sure that the kids knew the procedures, that it was ingrained in their mind and that they knew.
因为他们想确保孩子们了解这些程序，这些程序已在他们的脑海中根深蒂固并且他们知道。
So if they were absent on a silver day, they would get it on a burgundy day.
因此，如果他们在银色日缺席，他们就会在勃艮第日得到它。
School colors, silver and burgundy.
学校颜色，银色和酒红色。
They're on an alternating schedule.
他们的时间表是交替的。
Melissa says her kids took the drill seriously.
梅丽莎说她的孩子们认真对待这次演习。
On a scale of 1 to 10-- Melissa Falkowski I would say we were totally prepared, like a 10.
按照从 1 到 10 的评分标准——Melissa Falkowski，我想说我们已经做好了充分的准备，就像 10 分一样。
The school told every teacher to cover the tall, rectangular windows on their classroom doors with paper, and leave the paper up all year.
学校要求每位老师用纸遮住教室门上高大的矩形窗户，并且全年都将纸遮盖起来。
Just in case if there were one, it would make it harder for an active shooter to see in.
以防万一，如果有的话，活跃的射手就更难看到。
That's a lesson from previous shootings.
这是从之前的枪击事件中吸取的教训。
Get out of sight.
滚出视线。
Before Columbine, very few schools did active shooter drills.
在哥伦拜恩之前，很少有学校进行主动射击训练。
Now, nearly 20 years later, most of them do.
如今，近 20 年后，大多数人都这么做了。
Ashley Kurth teaches culinary at Douglas.
阿什利·库斯 (Ashley Kurth) 在道格拉斯学院教授烹饪。
She's levelheaded, pragmatic, like a person who's spent years working in busy restaurant kitchens, not losing her cool, which she did.
她头脑冷静、务实，就像一个在繁忙的餐厅厨房工作多年的人，却没有失去冷静，而她确实做到了。
Ashley remembers being trained with the other teachers on the new procedures last year.
阿什利记得去年与其他老师一起接受了有关新程序的培训。
It started with them listening to 911 audio from Sandy Hook.
首先，他们聆听桑迪·胡克 (Sandy Hook) 的 911 音频。
The audio is of, I believe, if I remember correctly, it's of the front office and one of the ladies that called in when the shooter is outside the door.
如果我没记错的话，我相信这段音频是前台和一位女士的声音，当枪手在门外时，她打电话过来。
And you can hear her, like-- her voice drops when she's like, he's right outside, he's right outside.
你可以听到她的声音，当她说，他就在外面，他就在外面时，她的声音就降低了。
And you can hear the dispatch officer telling her, you know, don't move and be quiet.
你可以听到调度人员告诉她，你知道，不要动，保持安静。
Hide, lock down.
隐藏，锁定。
It's probably the most common response in schools all across the country.
这可能是全国各地学校最常见的反应。
But out of Sandy Hook, another lesson.
但桑迪·胡克给了我另一个教训。
Schools told teachers, keep your classrooms locked all day, every day.
学校告诉老师，每天都要锁好教室。
Again, Melissa.
再说一次，梅丽莎。
That's kind of what they told us as they told us about Sandy Hook, how he went to the first classroom, the door was locked.
这就是他们告诉我们的，就像他们告诉我们关于桑迪·胡克的事情，他是如何去第一间教室的，门是锁着的。
He went to the second classroom, the door was locked.
他来到第二间教室，门锁着。
He went to the third classroom, the door was unlocked.
他来到第三间教室，门没有锁。
And he stepped into that classroom, and he took advantage of that opportunity.
他走进了那间教室，他利用了这个机会。
And that's what I told my kids when we were preparing.
这就是我在准备时告诉我的孩子们的。
I told them, I know it's going to be really annoying that the door's always going to be locked and you're going to have to knock.
我告诉他们，我知道门总是锁着，你必须敲门，这真的很烦人。
But I told them what they had told us in the training.
但我告诉了他们他们在培训中告诉我们的内容。
And I said, I will not be the third door.
我说，我不会成为第三扇门。
Like, I will not be that third door.
就像，我不会成为第三扇门。
The details of this are not exactly right.
这个细节并不完全正确。
At Sandy Hook, it was the front door and bathrooms that were locked.
在桑迪胡克，前门和浴室都锁着。
The classrooms weren't.
教室不是。
But the lesson is the same, keep your door locked at all times.
但教训是一样的，始终锁好门。
Other details got hammered home, like what to do if a fire alarm goes off during a code red.
其他细节也被敲定，比如如果火警警报在红色代码期间响起该怎么办。
The thinking on this is a lesson from the Jonesboro Middle School shooting in Arkansas 20 years ago.
对此的思考是20年前阿肯色州琼斯伯勒中学枪击事件的教训。
There were two shooters, both kids.
有两名枪手，都是孩子。
One of them pulled a fire alarm to get the school to evacuate to a field, where from the woods, the boys shot at them.
其中一人拉响了火警警报，要求学校疏散到一片田野，男孩们从树林里向他们开枪。
Five people died.
五人死亡。
In the training at Douglas, they addressed this exact thing.
在道格拉斯的培训中，他们解决了这个问题。
If a fire alarm and a code red happen to coincide, ignore the fire alarm, mind the code red.
如果火警和红色代码碰巧同时发生，请忽略火警，注意红色代码。
Ashley told her students--
阿什莉告诉她的学生——
The code red drill trumps all.
红色钻头代码胜过一切。
If you hear a fire alarm go off, you stay put.
如果您听到火警警报响起，请留在原地。
The main question from students, both Melissa and Ashley told me, what if I'm in the bathroom and I hear gunshots?
梅丽莎和阿什利都告诉我，学生们提出的主要问题是，如果我在浴室里听到枪声怎么办？
What do I do then?
那我该怎么办？
We told them to run.
我们告诉他们快跑。
If you're out in the hallway and there's a code red, you have to find a place to hide yourself.
如果您在走廊上并且出现红色代码，则必须找到一个地方隐藏自己。
So you either find a place to hide or you run, and you keep running, and you don't look back.
所以你要么找个地方躲起来，要么就跑，然后继续跑，头也不回。
You run.
你跑吧。
You run as far away as you can and as fast as you can away from the sound.
你尽可能地跑得远、跑得快，远离声音。
Unlike Melissa, Ashley had been through this kind of training before at a school she taught at before Douglas.
与梅丽莎不同的是，阿什利之前在道格拉斯之前任教的学校里接受过这种培训。
That school had a drill that really freaked Ashley out, with very loud, realistic sounds of gunfire.
那所学校进行了一次演习，枪声非常响亮、逼真，真的把阿什利吓坏了。
Ashley says there were blanks.
阿什利说有空白。
The officer would walk around with blanks, and they would shoot.
军官会拿着空弹四处走动，然后他们就会开枪。
If the door was open, they'd go into the room and say, you're all dead in here.
如果门开着，他们就会走进房间说，你们都死在这儿了。
Surprise drills with blanks, while not the norm, appeal to some schools who say there are benefits to learning how you'll act under pressure.
空白练习虽然不是常态，但对一些学校很有吸引力，他们说学习在压力下如何表现是有好处的。
But surprise drills with blanks are controversial.
但带空白的突击钻是有争议的。
For one thing, they're disturbing.
一方面，它们令人不安。
There have even been lawsuits about them.
甚至还有针对他们的诉讼。
In one, a teacher claims she got PTSD after a man in a black hoodie came into her class, pointed a gun to her face, fired, and said, you're dead.
其中，一名老师声称，一名身穿黑色连帽衫的男子走进她的班级，用枪指着她的脸开枪，并说“你死定了”，她因此患上了创伤后应激障碍。
The teacher heard a pop.
老师听到“啪”的一声。
She smelled smoke.
她闻到了烟味。
She really thought she'd been shot.
她真的以为自己被枪杀了。
She had no idea it was a drill.
她不知道这是一次演习。
I talked to several school safety experts about these drills with blanks, these surprise drills that are hyperrealistic.
我与几位学校安全专家讨论了这些空白演习，这些超现实的惊喜演习。
None of them thought they're a good idea.
他们都不认为这是个好主意。
One guy who trains teachers using video simulations told me that teachers who've been through one of these surprise drills perform worse on his simulations than teachers who have no training at all.
一位使用视频模拟培训教师的人告诉我，经历过其中一项突击演习的教师在模拟中的表现比根本没有接受过培训的教师要差。
They forget crucial steps, like calling the police, and commit more dangerous mistakes.
他们忘记了报警等关键步骤，并犯下了更危险的错误。
Some find the blanks so upsetting they can't even finish the simulations.
有些人发现空白太令人沮丧，他们甚至无法完成模拟。
And there's a more basic problem with these surprise drills.
这些突击演习还有一个更基本的问题。
If you know one is coming and you hear shots, how can you tell if it's a drill or the real thing?
如果您知道有人来了并且听到枪声，您如何判断这是演习还是真实的？
At Douglas, Ashley and Melissa both thought this was the kind of drill they'd have, unannounced with a fake shooter firing blanks.
在道格拉斯，阿什利和梅丽莎都认为这就是他们进行的那种演习，在没有事先通知的情况下，用假射手发射空弹。
Ashley told her students that's what they should expect.
阿什利告诉她的学生，这是他们应该期待的。
Oh, yes, 100%.
哦，是的，100%。
I told them, I said, it can happen at any point in time.
我告诉他们，我说，这随时可能发生。
So just be prepared that no matter which classroom you're in or where you're at, this could take place.
因此，请做好准备，无论您在哪个教室或在哪里，这种情况都可能发生。
They said it was going to sound real and feel real.
他们说这听起来很真实，感觉也很真实。
I now have another faculty member who was at another high school in the district, and they did the active shooter training at her school, and they used blanks.
我现在有另一位教员，她在该地区的另一所高中，他们在她的学校进行了主动射击训练，他们使用了空弹。
It was simulated, and it felt real.
这是模拟的，感觉很真实。
And so that's why a lot of people were like, is this the drill?
这就是为什么很多人会问，这是演习吗？
Is this not the drill?
这不是演习吗？
But when you look at the time that it occurred, they don't run a drill at 2:25 in the afternoon, 15 minutes before we dismiss, and all these buses have to run kids all over the district.
但是当你看看事情发生的时间时，他们并没有在下午 2:25 进行演习，也就是我们下班前 15 分钟，所有这些巴士都必须载着孩子们跑遍整个地区。
Was that a question in your mind right away, like it's too late for a drill?
您是否立即想到了这个问题，就像演习已经太晚了一样？
Yes.
是的。
Robyn Semien Which brings us to the day of the shooting.
罗宾·塞米恩 (Robyn Semien) 这让我们回到了枪击事件的当天。
At 2:20 in the afternoon on Valentine's Day, a former student with an AR-15 began down the hallway of the first floor of the building that everyone calls the freshmen building.
情人节那天下午 2 点 20 分，一名带着 AR-15 的前学生开始沿着大家称之为新生楼的大楼一楼的走廊走下去。
In an adjacent building, Ashley's culinary class had just finished their shrimp scampi lab.
在邻近的大楼里，阿什利的烹饪班刚刚完成了他们的虾虾实验室。
They were plating and cleaning up.
他们正在电镀和清理。
I'm standing next to my door, pulling my doorstop out.
我站在门边，拉开门挡。
I hear two pops.
我听到两声爆裂声。
It was not rapid fire.
这不是速射。
It was just like a pop, pop.
就像流行音乐一样。
I'm not startled by it, because, I mean, it's Valentine's Day.
我对此并不感到惊讶，因为，我的意思是，今天是情人节。
And you don't know if it's, like, a balloon popping or what.
你不知道这是否是气球爆裂之类的。
And then the fire alarm went off very quickly.
然后火警警报很快就响了。
The fire alarm.
火警警报。
Dust set it off, dust from acoustical tiles hit by a round of gunshots.
灰尘引爆了它，隔音砖上的灰尘被一轮枪声击中。
No one knew that at the time.
当时没有人知道这一点。
Melissa, in a building farther out than Ashley's, didn't hear any pops, just a fire alarm.
梅丽莎所在的大楼比阿什利家更远，她没有听到任何爆破声，只听到火警警报。
She went into action running that drill, the fire drill.
她开始进行消防演习。
The fire alarm goes off, and I counted the kids as they left the room.
火警警报响起，我数了数孩子们离开房间的情况。
I was the last one to leave.
我是最后一个离开的。
I closed the door.
我关上了门。
It was already locked because I leave it locked.
它已经被锁住了，因为我把它锁住了。
Out the door with my phone, my keys, and my folder.
带着我的手机、钥匙和文件夹出了门。
Those are like the three most important things-- my phone, my keys, and my folder.
这就像三件最重要的东西——我的手机、我的钥匙和我的文件夹。
Her emergency folder.
她的紧急文件夹。
That's the training.
这就是训练。
I went out the doors.
我出了门。
The security person who's posted outside my hallway, she's there.
我走廊外的保安人员就在那里。
And I said, oh, what's going on?
我说，哦，发生了什么事？
Because they have walkie talkies.
因为他们有对讲机。
I don't.
我不知道。
The security personnel have walkie talkies.
保安人员有对讲机。
So she said, someone set off a firecracker in the 1200 building.
她说，有人在1200楼里放鞭炮。
And I said, OK.
我说，好吧。
And I turned to two other teachers and I told them.
我转向另外两位老师并告诉了他们。
And then as soon as I finished saying that to them, she yelled out, no, go back.
然后我一对他们说完这句话，她就喊道，不，回去吧。
It's a code red.
这是红色代码。
Go back.
回去。
It's a code red.
这是红色代码。
And so we called to the kids, and I turned around and went back to my room, which was right there, opened up the door, and kids start streaming in.
所以我们叫了孩子们，我转身回到我的房间，就在那里，打开门，孩子们开始涌进来。
But was this a real code red?
但这是真正的红色代码吗？
Melissa didn't know.
梅丽莎不知道。
She knew a fire alarm could go off during a code red, but the whole thing was confusing.
她知道火警警报可能会在红色代码期间响起，但整件事令人困惑。
Well, it was weird because we'd actually had an actual fire drill earlier in the day, like our planned, scheduled, monthly drill had occurred that morning.
嗯，这很奇怪，因为我们实际上在当天早些时候进行了一次真正的消防演习，就像我们计划的、预定的每月演习在那天早上进行的一样。
So it was weird that it was going off again because they don't do them in the last period of the day.
所以奇怪的是，它又开始了，因为他们在一天的最后一段时间没有这样做。
And so I knew it was something, but I didn't think it was a serious something.
所以我知道这是一件大事，但我不认为这是一件严重的事。
I thought it was like-- the culinary was cooking with oil that day.
我觉得那天的烹饪是用油烹饪的。
So who knows.
所以谁知道呢。
Because that will sometimes set off the fire drill.
因为这有时会引发消防演习。
Of course will set it off if they burn something or whatever, so.
当然，如果他们烧了东西或其他东西，就会引爆它，所以。
Are there other things that set a fire drill?
还有其他可以进行消防演习的事情吗？
Oh, well, kids sometimes probably pull it.
哦，好吧，孩子们有时可能会拉扯它。
Yeah, sometimes kids will pull it.
是的，有时孩子们会拉它。
Sometimes there could be a faulty-- that's why our system gets inspected all the time.
有时可能会出现故障——这就是我们的系统一直受到检查的原因。
It just depends.
这只是取决于。
But most-- I don't want to say mostly it's culinary, because Ashley Kurth will kill me, but a lot of times it's culinary.
但大多数——我不想说主要是烹饪，因为阿什利·库思会杀了我，但很多时候是烹饪。
One time we went outside three times in one day because of the culinary class-- three times.
有一次，因为烹饪课，我们一天出去三次——三次。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, we have three smoke detectors in my room.
我的意思是，我们的房间里有三个烟雾探测器。
So if you walk underneath it with a pot of boiling water, you will set the fire alarm off.
因此，如果你拿着一壶开水走到它下面，就会触发火灾警报。
That's kind of like the joke of our school.
这有点像我们学校的笑话。
Teachers at Douglas knew that code red trumps a fire drill.
道格拉斯学校的老师们知道，红色代码胜过消防演习。
They even had a plan for how to straighten that confusion out-- make an announcement, clarify the code red.
他们甚至制定了一个计划来解决这种混乱——发布公告，澄清红色代码。
On that day, an assistant principal, Mr. Porter, did that.
那天，助理校长波特先生做了这件事。
Was there an announcement?
有公告吗？
Melissa Falkowski There was, but a lot of people were already out of their room, so they didn't hear it.
Melissa Falkowski：有，但很多人已经走出房间，所以他们没有听到。
In culinary, Ashley heard the code red.
在烹饪方面，阿什利听到了红色代码。
She's not sure about it, but she's going through the motions.
她对此并不确定，但她正在走过场。
She goes to her door to pull it shut.
她走到门口把门关上。
And as she does--
正如她所做的那样——
Two boys come running around the corner, and they're-- just they look terrified, and they're screaming, it's a shooter, it's a shooter.
两个男孩从拐角处跑过来，他们——只是他们看起来很害怕，他们尖叫着，这是一个枪手，这是一个枪手。
She pulls them into her classroom, tells them to get in the storage closet with her students.
她把他们拉进教室，让他们和学生们一起进入储藏室。
But she's still thinking drill, right?
但她还在想演习，对吧？
It must be.
一定是的。
It must be for practice.
一定是为了练习。
Even seconds later, when she hears--
甚至几秒钟后，当她听到——
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
流行，流行，流行，流行，流行，流行，流行，流行，流行。
And to me, I'm like, OK, that's not what I experienced in the first drill just because of the rapid succession that was happening.
对我来说，我想，好吧，这不是我在第一次演习中所经历的，只是因为发生了快速的连续性。
At the time, I was like, maybe they're uppin' their game on that.
当时，我想，也许他们在这方面正在加强他们的比赛。
It's unclear how many teachers thought like Ashley and Melissa did, that this was not a real code red, but the promised code red drill, and if this cost anyone their life.
目前还不清楚有多少老师像阿什利和梅丽莎一样认为这不是真正的红色代码演习，而是承诺的红色代码演习，以及这是否会导致任何人丧生。
I spoke to the Broward County chief of staff in charge of organizing the district's safety upgrades where Douglas is.
我与负责组织道格拉斯所在地区安全升级的布劳沃德县参谋长进行了交谈。
He said he didn't know any teachers at Douglas came out of that training expecting an unannounced drill with blanks.
他说，他不知道道格拉斯的任何老师在培训结束后都期待着一场未经宣布的空白演习。
But eight of 14 teachers I spoke to said they were anticipating what Melissa and Ashley were, a surprise active shooter drill using blanks.
但我采访过的 14 名老师中有 8 名表示，他们期待梅丽莎和阿什利的表现，即使用空包进行令人惊讶的主动射击训练。
After those two boys tore around the corner yelling, it's a shooter, it's a shooter, Ashley stood for another second in her doorway, still confused.
当那两个男孩冲过街角大喊“这是一个枪手，这是一个枪手”之后，阿什利在门口又站了一会儿，仍然很困惑。
Then she glanced to her left all the way down the hall to a set of open doors, the face of the freshmen building.
然后她朝左边看了一眼，一直走到大厅里，看到一扇开着的门，那是新生楼的正面。
I see like, hundreds of kids running out of the freshmen building looking terrified.
我看到数百名孩子从新生大楼里跑出来，看上去很害怕。
When you see terrified kids running like that and they're not-- there is no rhyme or reason.
当你看到惊恐的孩子像那样奔跑时，他们却没有——没有任何规律或理由。
It was chaos.
一片混乱。
And then you hear-- you can hear the gunshots.
然后你会听到——你可以听到枪声。
And it's just-- that is not what the drill was.
只是——这不是演习的目的。
She knew it was real.
她知道这是真的。
Ashley Kurth For like the next 90 seconds, as kids are running by me, I'm just screaming at them, keep running.
Ashley Kurth 在接下来的 90 秒里，当孩子们从我身边跑过时，我只是对他们尖叫，继续跑。
Don't stop.
别停下来。
She shouted back to her kids, stay put and get down.
她对孩子们喊道，别动，趴下。
She's still in her doorway when she realized there's another group, a smaller group.
当她意识到还有另一群人，一个较小的群体时，她还在门口。
Kids that are running towards the freshmen building.
孩子们跑向新生楼。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
Ashley Kurth Yes.
阿什利·库斯 是的。
I was grabbing them and just pulling them into my room.
我抓住他们，把他们拉进我的房间。
They were following instructions.
他们遵循指示。
Remember, if you're not in a classroom, run.
请记住，如果您不在教室，请跑。
Keep running away from the sound.
继续躲避声音。
How is it that kids are running towards kids running the other way?
孩子们怎么会跑向相反方向的孩子呢？
Because the way that the gunshot sounds were ricocheting off the media center area, the quad, it sounded like there was shooting coming from that direction as well, which is why kids were running in the opposite direction.
因为枪声是从媒体中心区域（四边形）反弹的，听起来好像也有射击从那个方向传来，这就是孩子们朝相反方向跑的原因。
Wow.
哇。
Ashley Kurth To give you an idea, I had 29 students that were present that day with myself.
Ashley Kurth 给你一个想法，那天我和我一起在场的有 29 名学生。
And by the time we were finished, there were 65 total bodies in my room.
当我们结束时，我的房间里共有 65 具尸体。
Wasn't the drill to shut the door and not let people in?
演习不就是关门不让人进来吗？
Then what happened?
然后发生了什么？
Ashley Kurth There were terrified people running and I just-- I could not, in all consciousness, leave them be like that.
阿什利·库斯（Ashley Kurth）有人惊恐地逃跑，而我只是——在我的意识中，我不能让他们就那样。
Ashley wasn't the only teacher to stand in the doorway and say to hell with what she had been taught.
阿什利并不是唯一一个站在门口对自己所学的东西说“见鬼去吧”的老师。
You can choose to follow the protocol or follow your instinct.
您可以选择遵循协议或遵循您的直觉。
For some teachers, it wasn't a choice at all.
对于一些老师来说，这根本不是一个选择。
In her classroom, Melissa got her attendance sheet out of her emergency folder.
在教室里，梅丽莎从紧急文件夹中取出了考勤表。
She counted 17 of her 25 students, and two from a different class she'd pulled in from the hallway.
她数了数 25 名学生中的 17 名，其中两名来自她从走廊拉来的另一个班级。
The group was small enough to fit in a supply closet, so Melissa told them to leave their backpacks out of sight, as she'd been taught, and move there.
这群人的规模很小，可以放进一个补给柜里，所以梅丽莎告诉他们把背包放在看不见的地方，就像她被教导的那样，然后搬到那里。
In the closet, it was hot and dark, except students' faces lit by their cell phones.
衣柜里又热又黑，只有学生们的脸被手机照亮。
Melissa had her phone out too.
梅丽莎也拿出了手机。
There's a group text between me and three other teachers in the English department because we're friends outside of school.
我和英语系的其他三位老师之间有一条群发短信，因为我们是校外的朋友。
And my friend Stacey, who is on the third floor of the freshman building, she texts-- she sent a text to us that says, there is a shooter.
我的朋友史黛西住在新生楼的三楼，她发短信给我们，说有枪手。
There's a shooter in my floor.
我的楼层有一个射手。
And so my friend Sarah says, drill or actual?
我的朋友莎拉说，是演习还是实际？
And she says, actual, my window is blown out.
她说，事实上，我的窗户被炸碎了。
And then she told us she had been grazed by a bullet.
然后她告诉我们她被子弹擦伤了。
She was grazed in her arm by a bullet.
她的手臂被子弹擦伤。
Oh, my god.
我的天啊。
Melissa Falkowski And I didn't hear from her for a while.
梅丽莎·法尔科斯基（Melissa Falkowski） 我有一段时间没有收到她的消息了。
An hour went by.
一个小时过去了。
Melissa Falkowski We heard noises in the hallway.
梅丽莎·法尔科斯基 我们听到走廊里有噪音。
We got really quiet.
我们真的很安静。
I had the flashlight part of my phone on so that we could kind of like illuminate the closet without having the light on.
我打开了手机的手电筒部分，这样我们就可以在不开灯的情况下照亮衣柜。
And when I heard the door open-- but it sounded like it was opened with a key.
当我听到门打开的声音时——但听起来像是用钥匙打开的。
And so then I could hear movement in the room.
然后我就听到房间里有动静。
And then somebody--
然后有人——
I mean, not, because you don't know what the hell is happening.
我的意思是，不是，因为你不知道到底发生了什么。
And the police-- and then the police officer said, this is the police.
然后警察——然后警察说，这是警察。
Is anyone in here?
这里有人吗？
And then there was kind of like a pause.
然后有一种停顿。
And then they're like, this is the police.
然后他们就说，这是警察。
Is anyone in here?
这里有人吗？
And I was like, guys, I'm going to open the door because--
我当时想，伙计们，我要打开门，因为——
Someone says, this is the police, is anyone in here?
有人说，这是警察，这里有人吗？
And your first thought is, it really is the police, or still you're not sure?
你的第一个想法是，这真的是警察，或者你仍然不确定？
I'm still not sure.
我还是不确定。
The first time they said it, I'm not sure what I should do.
当他们第一次这么说时，我不知道我应该做什么。
Am I supposed to open the door?
我应该开门吗？
Very slowly, the handle, and I opened it really slow because even if it is the police, they have weapons too, and they're looking for the shooter.
非常慢，把手，我打开它非常慢，因为即使是警察，他们也有武器，他们正在寻找枪手。
So I know they have their weapons drawn.
所以我知道他们已经拔出了武器。
She really just had to guess about whether to trust this was a cop and not a group of shooters saying they were cops.
她真的只需要猜测是否相信这是一名警察，而不是一群自称是警察的枪手。
And so I just very slowly opened, pulled on the handle, pushed it open and said, we're in here.
所以我只是非常缓慢地打开，拉动手柄，推开它并说，我们在这里。
We're in the closet.
我们在壁橱里。
And then they started giving us instructions.
然后他们开始给我们指示。
Come out with your hands up.
出来吧，举起双手。
Melissa told me that Ashley was one of five people she knew who had broken protocol that day, by holding their doors open longer than they were supposed to.
梅丽莎告诉我，阿什利是她认识的五个违反规定的人之一，他们开门的时间比应有的时间要长。
And they even did that on the third floor when they knew something was wrong.
当他们知道有问题时，他们甚至在三楼这样做了。
And my friend Stacey held her door open until she was like, locked eyes with the shooter, and yells to Scott Beigel to close his door, and grabs the handle with two hands and pulls it closed.
我的朋友史黛西把门打开，直到她与枪手目光交汇，然后对斯科特·贝格尔大喊，让他关上门，然后用两只手抓住把手，把门关上。
So her door was open up to the moment he started, like, shooting bullets down the hallway.
所以当他开始的那一刻，她的门是开着的，就像在走廊上开枪一样。
Stacey is the teacher whose arm was grazed.
史黛西是手臂被擦伤的老师。
She survived.
她活了下来。
Scott Beigel in the room next to Stacey's did the same thing Stacey did, waited a little with the door open.
斯泰西隔壁房间里的斯科特·贝格尔也做了同样的事，门开着等了一会儿。
He's one of the 17 who died that day, standing in his doorway.
他是那天站在门口的 17 名死者之一。
There's very little evidence about whether school shooting drills of any kind actually work.
几乎没有证据表明任何形式的学校射击训练是否真的有效。
The data doesn't exist.
该数据不存在。
School shootings, for how much we think and talk about them, are still statistically rare.
就我们对校园枪击事件的思考和谈论程度而言，从统计数据来看，校园枪击事件仍然很少见。
But now, Melissa and Ashley have been in that rare situation, the one that's hard to study.
但现在，梅丽莎和阿什利却陷入了一种罕见的、难以研究的境地。
And they both told me that having a playbook for what to do helped.
他们都告诉我，制定一份行动手册很有帮助。
Now I lock my door.
现在我锁上门。
Now I count the kids in my class.
现在我数一下我班上的孩子们。
Now I move us all to a closet.
现在我把我们全部搬到壁橱里。
But they also both had ideas coming out of this, about ways they could have been better prepared.
但他们也由此产生了一些想法，关于如何做好更好的准备。
Melissa, for instance, wanted trauma kits with gauze in every classroom and training on how to treat bullet wounds with it.
例如，梅丽莎希望每个教室都配备带有纱布的创伤包，并培训如何用纱布治疗枪伤。
Gauze actually has saved lives in mass shootings.
纱布实际上在大规模枪击事件中拯救了生命。
I really wanted to find some expert to weigh in on Douglas, to tell me, did the teachers' training help?
我很想找一位专家来对道格拉斯进行评估，告诉我，老师的培训有帮助吗？
Did more kids survive because of it?
有更多的孩子因此幸存下来吗？
What might have worked better?
什么可能效果更好？
Cheryl Jonson researches what's effective in these drills at Xavier University and is a training instructor for ALICE, one of two big companies in the US that train schools how to respond to active shooters.
谢丽尔·琼森 (Cheryl Jonson) 在泽维尔大学研究这些演习的有效方法，并且是 ALICE 的培训讲师，ALICE 是美国培训学校如何应对活跃射手的两家大公司之一。
ALICE has its own way of doing things, just like the other big outfit, Safe Havens International, has its own way of doing things.
ALICE 有自己的做事方式，就像另一个大机构 Safe Havens International 有自己的做事方式一样。
There's no one single way, no agreement on what's best.
没有单一的方法，也没有就什么是最好的达成一致。
Cheryl Jonson didn't want to get into the specifics of what happened at Douglas, partly because it's still too soon.
谢丽尔·琼森不想详细了解道格拉斯发生的事情，部分原因是现在还为时过早。
The investigation isn't done.
调查尚未完成。
But she did talk to me more generally about some of things I knew they'd done at Douglas, like papering over windows.
但她确实与我谈论了一些我知道他们在道格拉斯做过的事情，比如在窗户上贴纸。
Cheryl doesn't think it helps much.
谢丽尔认为这没有多大帮助。
It's 2 o'clock on a Tuesday.
现在是星期二下午 2 点。
The shooter knows you're in your classrooms.
枪手知道你在教室里。
Also, code red, all the codes, their colors and meanings.
另外，红色代码，所有代码，它们的颜色和含义。
The consultants I talked to said no to this too.
我采访过的顾问也对此表示不同意。
I'm a big advocate for not using codes at all.
我坚决主张完全不使用代码。
How come?
怎么会？
Cheryl Jonson If I say "code red," it takes a split second for your brain to go, OK, code red means bad, means active shooter, means I have to do this versus if I say there is a gunman in the school.
谢丽尔·琼森（Cheryl Jonson） 如果我说“红色代码”，你的大脑会在一瞬间思考，好吧，红色代码意味着不好，意味着活跃的射手，意味着我必须这样做，而不是如果我说学校里有枪手。
Keeping classroom doors locked, resounding yes.
锁好教室门，这是肯定的。
But the idea that this is all you do, that you lock the door and put every kid under a desk, all the consultants I talked to said that's outdated.
但是，“这就是你所做的一切，你锁上门，把每个孩子都放在桌子底下”的想法，我采访过的所有顾问都说这种想法已经过时了。
Cheryl says people need many more options, many more ways to respond to a shooting.
谢丽尔说，人们需要更多的选择、更多的方式来应对枪击事件。
Sometimes you stay in your room.
有时你呆在自己的房间里。
Sometimes you evacuate, like if you're far enough away from the shooter or in an open space with more exits, like a cafeteria or a gym.
有时你会撤离，比如如果你距离枪手足够远，或者在有更多出口的开放空间，比如自助餐厅或健身房。
As a last resort, you fight.
作为最后的手段，你只能战斗。
Basically, trust your ability to make a decision.
基本上，相信你做出决定的能力。
I told her about Ashley Kurth, how she had stood in her doorway, grabbing up dozens of scared students.
我向她讲述了阿什利·库斯 (Ashley Kurth) 的事，以及她如何站在门口抓住了数十名害怕的学生。
Remember, it was a break from her school's protocol.
请记住，这违反了她学校的规定。
Cheryl's such an advocate for thinking on your feet.
谢丽尔非常提倡随机应变。
I wondered if she maybe believed Ashley did the right thing, pulling in kids.
我想知道她是否相信阿什利拉了孩子们做的是正确的事。
The problem with this-- unless you're there, you don't know what exactly happened.
问题是——除非你在场，否则你不知道究竟发生了什么。
Now, did she probably save lives?
现在，她可能拯救了生命吗？
Probably.
大概。
And in that situation, did it work with the gunman being in a different building?
在这种情况下，如果枪手在另一栋大楼里，这是否有效？
Yes.
是的。
One thing that was part of the training at Douglas was barricading your door, basically pushing lots of furniture up against your classroom door.
道格拉斯培训的一部分就是在你的门上设置路障，基本上就是把很多家具推到教室门上。
But Melissa and Ashley didn't do it.
但梅丽莎和阿什利没有这么做。
Seems like very few teachers did.
好像很少有老师这么做。
Though if Ashley had done it, if she'd followed the protocol, locked and barricaded her door right away, it would've been way harder to pull all those kids into her room from the hallway.
不过，如果阿什利这么做了，如果她遵守了协议，立即锁上门并设置路障，那么将所有这些孩子从走廊拉到她的房间就会困难得多。
She'd have to unbarricade herself first.
她必须先解除自己的障碍。
Fewer kids would have made it in.
能成功的孩子会更少。
Reporting on this for several months, I knew what I was looking for, something concrete to tell my daughter's school.
经过几个月的报道，我知道自己在寻找什么，一些具体的东西可以告诉我女儿的学校。
My daughter's nine, fourth grade.
我女儿九岁，四年级。
Last year, she did a traditional lockdown at her school, squat and hide.
去年，她在学校进行了传统的封锁，蹲下躲起来。
But when I asked her what the drill was for, she said, I don't know exactly.
但当我问她演习的目的时，她说，我不太清楚。
They didn't say.
他们没有说。
It's not great.
这不太好。
I keep thinking about this one shooting, the Red Lake Indian Reservation shooting, and how in that one, a classroom of students did a traditional lockdown, squat and hide, because they practiced it, and how an investigator on that case told me that drill did not help them at all.
我一直在思考这起枪击事件，即红湖印第安人保留地枪击事件，以及在那起枪击事件中，一群学生如何进行传统的封锁、蹲下和躲藏，因为他们练习过，以及该案的一名调查员如何告诉我，演习对他们根本没有帮助。
They'd have been better off without it.
如果没有它，他们会过得更好。
And the researcher who told me we should not do drills in school, period.
那位研究人员告诉我我们不应该在学校进行演习，就这样。
It's too traumatizing for kids.
这对孩子来说太创伤了。
We don't pretend to crash on an airplane.
我们不会假装在飞机上坠毁。
We just deal with the possibility of crashing by hearing some instructions.
我们只是通过听取一些指示来处理崩溃的可能性。
Where I come down on this-- I don't agree with no drills at all.
我对此的看法是——我根本不同意不进行任何演习。
I want my daughter to know everything.
我想让我的女儿知道一切。
I want her to know about barricading, and I want her to know about running and fighting back.
我想让她知道如何设置路障，如何奔跑和反击。
I want her to know about active shooters because it's a thing to reckon with.
我想让她了解活跃的射手，因为这是一件需要认真对待的事情。
I want her to know there's nothing that can keep her completely safe because it's the truth.
我想让她知道没有什么可以保证她完全安全，因为这是事实。
One more thing I'd say to my daughter's school, Cheryl's point about don't say codes.
我还要对我女儿的学校说一件事，谢丽尔关于不要说密码的观点。
Call it like it is.
就这样称呼吧。
I don't want someone to come over an intercom and tell my daughter code red.
我不希望有人通过对讲机告诉我女儿红色密码。
I want someone to say, listen up, there's a person with a gun in our school.
我想让有人说，听着，我们学校里有一个带枪的人。
Of course, I never want someone to say that at all.
当然，我根本不想有人这么说。
This year at Douglas, there are new gates, new fences, new cameras, gym bag searches, key card entry for staff, gauze-filled trauma kits in every room, 15 campus monitors compared to five last year, three school resource officers instead of one.
今年，道格拉斯分校配备了新大门、新围栏、新摄像头、健身包搜查、工作人员钥匙卡进入、每个房间都配有纱布填充的创伤包、15 个校园监视器（去年为 5 个）、3 名学校资源官员（而不是 1 名）。
And they already did a code red drill, only this time there was no confusion about when it would be.
他们已经进行了红色代码演习，只是这一次对于何时进行没有任何困惑。
The school called parents, told all the students and teachers in advance.
学校打电话给家长，提前告知了所有学生和老师。
When it started, the principal came on the PA and told everyone, OK, here we go.
比赛开始后，校长通过广播告诉大家，好吧，我们开始吧。
And this is our code red.
这是我们的红色代码。
And try to breathe.
并尝试呼吸。
Keep breathing.
继续呼吸。
Only real surprise since school started, if you can call it that, the fire alarm.
自开学以来唯一真正的惊喜，如果你可以称之为火警的话。
It's gone off seven times so far this year-- malfunctions, maintenance, a special ed kid pulled it twice.
今年到目前为止，它已经发生了七次故障——故障、维护、一个特殊教育孩子拉了两次。
Two times it happened right before school got out.
有两次这样的事发生在放学前。
Melissa said the first time it happened a week in, she cursed.
梅丽莎说，一周后第一次发生这种情况时，她咒骂了一声。
Students cried.
学生们哭了。
One student, Julia, froze.
一名学生朱莉娅愣住了。
Julia, Melissa said, you're OK.
朱莉娅，梅丽莎说，你没事。
Am I?
我是吗？
Julia said.
朱莉娅说。
What the school does not do during the fire alarms, evacuate, like they're supposed to.
学校在火警警报期间没有做的事情是疏散，就像他们应该做的那样。
No one goes outside to the parking lot.
没有人去外面的停车场。
No one jokes about culinary.
没有人拿烹饪开玩笑。
No one moves.
没有人动。
Not a single class evacuates.
没有一个班级撤离。
Melissa says it's too scary to be out there standing in the parking lot like that, vulnerable.
梅丽莎说，像这样站在停车场太可怕了，很脆弱。
What if there's a sniper?
如果有狙击手怎么办？
It's what they know now.
这是他们现在所知道的。
Drills have blind spots.
钻头有盲点。
Robyn Semien is one of the producers of our show.
罗宾·塞米恩 (Robyn Semien) 是我们节目的制片人之一。
Coming up, a couple returns to the worst thing that ever happened to them, over and over again.
接下来，一对夫妇一次又一次地回到他们所经历过的最糟糕的事情。
Why?
为什么？
In a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们每周的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's show, "Before the Next One." Now the mass shootings have become the new normal in our country.
今天的节目是《下一场之前》。现在大规模枪击事件已成为我国的新常态。
We have stories of people preparing for the next one in various ways.
我们有很多关于人们以各种方式为下一场做准备的故事。
We've arrived at act two of our program, act two.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕，第二幕。
Keep breathing.
继续呼吸。
So there's a whole infrastructure that springs into action every time a mass shooting occurs.
因此，每次发生大规模枪击事件时，都会有一套完整的基础设施启动。
There's Red Cross, fire and police departments, SWAT teams, therapy dogs, the Billy Graham prayer truck.
这里有红十字会、消防局和警察局、特警队、治疗犬、葛培理祈祷车。
But now, there's also a group of people who show up in the immediate aftermath for more personal reasons.
但现在，还有一群人因为更个人的原因而在事件发生后立即出现。
These are the parents of kids who've died in other mass shootings.
这些是在其他大规模枪击事件中丧生的孩子的父母。
And what they do at these shootings is so simple and kind of amazing to hear.
他们在这些枪击事件中所做的事情是如此简单，而且听起来令人惊奇。
Producer Miki Meek talked with two of these parents.
制片人米基·米克与其中两位家长进行了交谈。
It's a couple named Sandy and Lonnie Phillips.
这是一对名叫桑迪·菲利普斯和朗尼·菲利普斯的夫妇。
Their daughter, Jessi, died when a gunman opened fire in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado back in 2012.
2012 年，他们的女儿杰西 (Jessi) 在科罗拉多州奥罗拉 (Aurora) 的一家电影院内遭枪手开枪身亡。
And since then, they have organized their lives to be able to reach out to other parents like themselves.
从那时起，他们就开始组织自己的生活，以便能够接触到像他们一样的其他父母。
Here's Miki.
这是米基。
Sandy and Lonnie Phillips have traveled to eight mass shootings since Aurora.
自奥罗拉事件以来，桑迪·菲利普斯和朗尼·菲利普斯已经去过八次大规模枪击事件。
It started with Sandy Hook and Isla Vista, San Bernardino, Orlando, Las Vegas, Sutherland Springs, Parkland, and then Santa Fe, Texas, which is where I met up with them in May, right after a student walked into the high school and killed 10 people.
首先是桑迪胡克和伊斯拉维斯塔、圣贝纳迪诺、奥兰多、拉斯维加斯、萨瑟兰温泉、帕克兰，然后是德克萨斯州圣达菲，我五月份在那里与他们会面，当时一名学生走进高中杀害了 10 人。
They pulled up in front of the school in their truck.
他们开着卡车停在学校门口。
Even though they have done this a lot, Sandy told me the discomfort and awkwardness they feel about showing up like this in a community has never gone away.
尽管他们已经这样做了很多次，但桑迪告诉我，他们在社区中这样出现的不适和尴尬从未消失。
Ready for this?
准备好了吗？
Miki Meek But in Santa Fe, they just launched themselves in anyway.
米基·米克 (Miki Meek) 但在圣达菲，他们无论如何都只是发起了自己的行动。
They're each wearing a big button with a photo of their daughter, Jessi, smiling.
他们每个人都戴着一个大纽扣，上面有他们女儿杰西微笑的照片。
A memorial had just gone up on a big, grassy lawn out front.
前面的大草坪上刚刚矗立着一座纪念碑。
There were 10 wood crosses, each with a red heart and a photo of the student or teacher who had been killed.
有10个木十字架，每个十字架上都有一颗红心和一张被杀的学生或老师的照片。
People were starting to leave teddy bears, flowers, and balloons.
人们开始留下泰迪熊、鲜花和气球。
What the Phillips do here is just talk to whoever wants to talk.
菲利普斯在这里所做的就是与任何想说话的人交谈。
They figure that'll lead them to families they might be useful to.
他们认为这将引导他们找到可能对他们有用的家庭。
And within seconds of getting out of their truck, they bump into a dazed teenage girl wearing shorts and a Santa Fe High School soccer T-shirt.
下了卡车后几秒钟，他们就撞到了一个茫然的少女，她穿着短裤和圣达菲高中足球 T 恤。
I'm not OK.
我不太好。
Miki Meek And here, the sound gets muffled because Sandy's tiny mic gets crushed when they hug.
Miki Meek 在这里，声音变得低沉，因为桑迪的小麦克风在他们拥抱时被压碎了。
It's the main sound I remember from that day.
这是我记得那天的主要声音。
We're just so sorry this has happened to you and your friends and your families and your community.
我们对发生在您和您的朋友、您的家人以及您的社区身上的事情感到非常抱歉。
Thank you so much.
太感谢了。
Miki Meek Another girl, a junior with light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, walks up to them and stares at their buttons.
米基·米克 (Miki Meek) 另一个女孩，浅棕色头发向后扎成马尾辫，走到他们面前，盯着他们的纽扣。
We lost our daughter in a mass shooting six years ago.
六年前，我们在一场大规模枪击事件中失去了女儿。
She's pretty.
她很漂亮。
Sandy Phillips Thank you.
桑迪·菲利普斯 谢谢你。
She is.
她是。
Inside and out, she was lovely, just like your friends.
从里到外，她都很可爱，就像你的朋友一样。
Sandy is good at making people feel comfortable.
桑迪善于让人感到舒服。
She has a round, warm face, framed by a gray bob.
她有一张温暖的圆脸，留着灰色的短发。
She's maternal and keeps her comments caring and brief.
她充满母性，她的评论总是充满关怀和简短。
Lonnie stands right next to Sandy with his arm around her.
朗尼站在桑迪旁边，手臂搂着她。
Sandy's the one who mostly talks to the kids, but he's always by her side, listening intently.
桑迪是最常和孩子们说话的人，但他总是在她身边，专心地听。
His presence helps her do this.
他的存在帮助她做到了这一点。
He looks out for her, sometimes running ahead to start the AC in their truck before she climbs in.
他会照顾她，有时会在她上车之前跑到前面启动卡车上的空调。
Hi, Tracy.
嗨，特雷西。
Woman I hear you had a daughter--
女人，我听说你有一个女儿——
I was surprised at how quickly people opened up to the Phillipses.
我对人们对菲利普斯敞开心扉的速度感到惊讶。
The girl who said Jessi was pretty, she started telling them that she escaped the shooting by hiding behind a building with other students.
那个说杰西很漂亮的女孩开始告诉他们，她和其他学生躲在一栋大楼后面，躲过了枪击事件。
Now, she just wanted to stay at home.
现在，她只想待在家里。
But at home, all she could think about was the shooting.
但在家里，她满脑子都是枪击事件。
Scenes from that day kept replaying through her head.
那天的情景不断在她脑海中回放。
Sandy doesn't miss a beat here.
桑迪在这里不会错过任何一个节拍。
Over at the victims' assistance, they have trauma therapists over there.
在受害者的帮助下，他们那里有创伤治疗师。
I recommend strongly that any of you kids, really think about stopping by the victims' assistance.
我强烈建议你们中的任何一个孩子，认真考虑向受害者提供援助。
I will.
我会。
Sandy Phillips Do some trauma therapy.
桑迪·菲利普斯 做一些创伤治疗。
OK, honey.
好的亲爱的。
Thank you so much.
太感谢了。
Sandy Phillips You're welcome.
桑迪·菲利普斯 不客气。
The Phillipses don't make money off this.
菲利普斯家族不靠这个赚钱。
They're volunteers, and they're not wealthy either.
他们是志愿者，而且也不富有。
They're retirees living in a 245-square foot trailer, surviving off of modest savings and social security.
他们是退休人员，住在一辆 245 平方英尺的拖车里，靠微薄的积蓄和社会保障度日。
Sandy is 68 and used to work in tourism for the city of San Antonio.
桑迪现年 68 岁，曾在圣安东尼奥市从事旅游业工作。
And Lonnie is 74.
朗尼已经74岁了。
He used to own some car lots.
他曾经拥有一些车位。
One thing I quickly realized going to Santa Fe is that there are now so many of these mass shootings that they become grim reunions for all the people who show up to them as part of their jobs or volunteer work.
去圣达菲后，我很快意识到一件事是，现在有如此多的大规模枪击事件，对于所有因工作或志愿工作而出现在他们面前的人来说，它们变成了可怕的团聚。
Are you from Las Vegas?
你来自拉斯维加斯吗？
Miki Meek Sandy and Lonnie ran into an emergency responder from the Las Vegas shooting, and then bumped into this other guy who travels around, putting up all those white crosses you see at almost every mass shooting.
米基·米克·桑迪（Miki Meek Sandy）和朗尼（Lonnie）遇到了拉斯维加斯枪击事件中的一名紧急救援人员，然后又遇到了另一个四处走动的人，他几乎在每次大规模枪击事件中都挂起了白色十字架。
He made one for their daughter, Jessi, in Aurora too.
他也在奥罗拉为他们的女儿杰西做了一件。
Standing on the patchy brown grass next to the crosses, Lonnie interrupted him to do this thing he and Sandy do a lot.
朗尼站在十字架旁边杂乱的棕色草地上，打断了他，让他做这件他和桑迪经常做的事情。
Sign, 1:11.
标志，1:11。
Miki Meek They suddenly call out the time.
米基·米克 他们突然喊出了时间。
We have a 1:11, 11:11, and we're talking to you at 1:11.
我们有 1:11、11:11，我们将在 1:11 与您交谈。
So it's a sign from our daughter.
这是我们女儿的信号。
11:11 is a thing.
11点11分是一件事。
A lot of people see it as an auspicious sign or a time to make a wish.
许多人将其视为吉祥的征兆或许愿的时刻。
And it was a lyric in one of Jessi's favorite songs.
这是杰西最喜欢的歌曲之一中的歌词。
If we get 11:11 twice a day, we know we really had a good day.
如果我们每天两次得到 11:11，我们就知道我们真的度过了美好的一天。
They told me, I know it's silly, but I take it as a hello or a god wink.
他们告诉我，我知道这很愚蠢，但我将其视为打招呼或上帝眨眼。
It helps.
它有帮助。
Hello.
你好。
What's your name?
你叫什么名字？
Cindy Evans Cindy Evans.
辛迪·埃文斯 辛迪·埃文斯。
Cindy, Cindy?
辛迪，辛迪？
Cindy Evans My son is in high school here.
辛迪·埃文斯 我儿子在这里上高中。
Oh, I'm so sorry.
哦，我很抱歉。
Miki Meek As the day went on, people kept dropping by the memorial in front of the high school.
米基·米克 (Miki Meek) 随着时间一天天过去，人们不断来到高中前的纪念馆。
Parents and students stood huddled together, staring at the crosses or writing messages on them.
家长和学生挤在一起，盯着十字架，或者在上面写下信息。
It was quiet and hot and still.
周围很安静、很热、很安静。
There was a low generator hum from the gigantic Billy Graham ministry truck set up in the parking lot.
停在停车场的巨大的比利·格雷厄姆事工卡车发出低沉的发电机嗡嗡声。
And then all of a sudden, this young guy started wailing.
突然，这个年轻人开始嚎啕大哭。
Sandy made a beeline for him.
桑迪径直朝他走去。
It's too much, man.
太多了，伙计。
It's too dang much.
实在是太过分了。
I'm so angry.
我很生气。
He immediately threw his arms around her.
他立刻张开双臂搂住她。
Here, here, here, here.
这里，这里，这里，这里。
Put your arms around me.
用你的双臂搂住我。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips It's OK.
[抽泣]桑迪·菲利普斯 没关系。
It's OK.
没关系。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips It's not OK.
[抽泣]桑迪·菲利普斯 这不太好。
It's not OK.
这不行。
Let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go.
放手吧，放手吧，放手吧，放手吧。
Just cry your heart out.
只是把你的心哭出来。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips Cry your heart out and get your anger out on here, on here, on here.
[抽泣] 桑迪·菲利普斯 (Sandy Phillips) 大声哭出来，在这里发泄你的愤怒。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips I'm so sorry.
[抽泣] 桑迪·菲利普斯 我很抱歉。
Oh, god, I'm so sorry.
哦，天哪，我很抱歉。
It makes me wish I could've done something.
这让我希望我能做点什么。
OK.
好的。
It's OK, honey.
没关系，亲爱的。
You're doing it now.
你现在正在做。
He graduated last year.
他去年毕业了。
There were crosses set up for three people he knew well.
为三个他熟悉的人设立了十字架。
One of them was a teacher named Ms. Perkins, who he really loved.
其中一位是一位名叫帕金斯女士的老师，他非常喜欢她。
He said she always tried to be strict with him but could never keep up that front for very long.
他说她总是试图对他严格，但永远无法长期保持这种态度。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips Take a nice, deep breath.
[抽泣]桑迪·菲利普斯 深吸一口气。
[SOBBING] Sandy Phillips OK, OK.
[抽泣]桑迪·菲利普斯 好吧，好吧。
Breathe with me.
和我一起呼吸。
[EXHALING]
[呼气]
After a few minutes, he's caught his breath enough to talk.
几分钟后，他终于平复了呼吸，可以说话了。
He tells Sandy he wants the shootings to stop.
他告诉桑迪他希望枪击事件停止。
He wants to take action somehow.
他想采取某种行动。
And then he suddenly switches gears and starts spilling out his feelings about guns and gun control.
然后他突然转变态度，开始吐露他对枪支和枪支管制的感受。
Nowadays with the violence that is going on in this world, taking guns away is not going to change that because it's just like drugs.
如今，世界上暴力不断，拿走枪支并不能改变这一点，因为它就像毒品一样。
They make drugs illegal and are still able to get drugs.
他们将毒品定为非法，但仍然可以获得毒品。
He plans to get a concealed handgun license when he turns 21 later this year.
他计划在今年晚些时候年满 21 岁时获得隐蔽手枪执照。
The Phillipses are actually gun owners too.
菲利普斯家族实际上也是枪支拥有者。
They have a 12-gauge shotgun.
他们有一把 12 号霰弹枪。
They believe in the Second Amendment.
他们相信第二修正案。
But they're also advocates for universal background checks and tight regulations on the types of guns, ammunition, and accessories, like bump stocks, a person can buy.
但他们也主张进行普遍的背景调查，并对枪支、弹药和配件（如个人可以购买的撞火枪托）的类型进行严格规定。
However, Sandy says they don't push their political beliefs on survivors when they're doing outreach.
然而，桑迪表示，他们在进行外展活动时不会将自己的政治信仰强加给幸存者。
Their primary goal is to support.
他们的主要目标是支持。
But it's impossible for grieving parents to avoid the politics around guns.
但悲伤的父母不可能避免围绕枪支的政治。
There's a whole movement of conspiracy theorists who believe that the US government stages mass shootings to make guns look bad.
阴谋论者发起了一场运动，他们认为美国政府发动大规模枪击事件是为了让枪支看起来很糟糕。
We were told by Alex Jones that our daughter never existed.
亚历克斯·琼斯告诉我们，我们的女儿根本不存在。
Alex Jones, of course, is famous for saying that mass shootings are fake.
当然，亚历克斯·琼斯因说大规模枪击事件是假的而闻名。
He's now a defendant in several defamation lawsuits.
他现在是几起诽谤诉讼的被告。
When the Phillipses ran into him face-to-face at a gun control event, he accused them of inventing their entire story.
当菲利普斯一家在枪支管制活动中面对面遇到他时，他指责他们编造了整个故事。
And then two minutes later, he's saying, your daughter's still alive, and she's living in the Bahamas, and she's living the high life.
两分钟后，他说，你的女儿还活着，她住在巴哈马群岛，过着上流的生活。
And you're crisis actors, and you're paid by the Obama administration, and da da da.
你们是危机行动者，你们的报酬是由奥巴马政府支付的，哒哒哒。
I'm listening to him, just going, you are so absolutely crazy.
我听着他的话，就走了，你真是疯了。
Lonnie got into it with Jones, stood right in front of him.
朗尼和琼斯一起参与其中，就站在他面前。
It looked like a shoving match was about to start, until Sandy stepped in and broke it up.
看起来一场推搡比赛即将开始，直到桑迪介入并打破了局面。
I reached out to Jones through one of his lawyers, who declined to comment.
我通过琼斯的一位律师联系了他，但他拒绝发表评论。
The conspiracy theorists, known as truthers or hoaxers, troll families of victims on social media immediately after any mass shooting.
阴谋论者，被称为真相者或骗子，在大规模枪击事件发生后立即在社交媒体上对受害者家属进行恶搞。
This can get dangerous.
这可能会很危险。
After the Phillipses' son gave interviews in Aurora, he got death threats and had to get the FBI involved.
菲利普斯的儿子在奥罗拉接受采访后，收到死亡威胁，不得不让联邦调查局介入。
The man who was threatening him ended up in jail.
威胁他的人最终入狱。
So hoaxers are one of the things the Phillips has warned parents about.
因此，骗子是菲利普斯警告家长的事情之一。
They tell families to brace themselves.
他们告诉家人要做好准备。
After watching Lonnie and Sandy in Santa Fe, I wondered why in the world they were throwing themselves back into this setting, reliving their worst moment over and over again.
看完朗尼和桑迪在圣达菲的表演后，我想知道为什么他们要把自己扔回这个环境，一遍又一遍地重温他们最糟糕的时刻。
The answer, of course, starts with their daughter's shooting.
答案当然要从他们女儿的枪击案说起。
They got the news in the middle of the night when they were asleep at their home in Texas.
他们是在半夜在德克萨斯州的家中睡觉时得知这个消息的。
This was back in 2012.
这已经是2012年的事了。
And their daughter, Jessi, was in college at the time.
他们的女儿杰西当时正在上大学。
She got to see the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, with one of her friends at a multiplex in Aurora, Colorado.
她和一位朋友在科罗拉多州奥罗拉市的一家影院观看了新的蝙蝠侠电影《黑暗骑士崛起》。
About a half hour after the movie started, Jessi's friend called Sandy from the theater.
电影开始大约半小时后，杰西的朋友从剧院给桑迪打电话。
The minute I picked up the phone, there was screaming, just horrible screaming in the background, panic.
我一拿起电话，就听到尖叫声，背景里传来可怕的尖叫声，恐慌。
And he said, there's been a shooting.
他说，发生了枪击事件。
And I was like, what is he talking about?
我当时想，他在说什么？
Because Jessi had been at a mall in Toronto almost seven weeks before, where there was a mass shooting.
因为杰西大约七周前曾去过多伦多的一家购物中心，那里发生了大规模枪击事件。
This was a coincidence.
这是一个巧合。
Jessi had left a food court in a mall just three minutes before a man walked in and opened fire.
杰西离开商场的美食广场仅三分钟，一名男子走进并开枪。
So my first thought was, this isn't funny.
所以我的第一个想法是，这不好笑。
But he's not a prankster.
但他不是一个爱恶作剧的人。
And I said, are you OK?
我说，你还好吗？
And he said, I think I've been hit twice.
他说，我想我已经被击中两次了。
And it was when he said that that I went, why isn't Jessi calling?
当他说我去了的时候，杰西为什么不打电话来？
And I knew something was really wrong.
我知道事情真的出了问题。
He said, I tried.
他说，我试过了。
And that's when I woke up because the scream was so loud.
就在那时我醒了，因为尖叫声太大了。
It was so horrific and something I never heard before.
这太可怕了，我以前从未听说过。
Lonnie found Sandy in the living room, sliding down a wall.
朗尼在客厅里发现桑迪正在从墙上滑下来。
He picked her up and took her to their couch, where he held her.
他抱起她，把她带到沙发上，抱着她。
Jessi was one of 12 people killed that night.
杰西是当晚遇难的 12 人之一。
Another 70 people were injured.
另有70人受伤。
And then five months later, there was another mass shooting, Sandy Hook, where 20 first graders and six educators died.
五个月后，桑迪胡克又发生大规模枪击事件，造成 20 名一年级学生和 6 名教育工作者死亡。
Days later, the Brady Campaign to prevent gun violence contacted the Phillipses.
几天后，防止枪支暴力的布雷迪运动联系了菲利普斯夫妇。
They were reaching out to families from other mass shootings and asked if they'd be willing to travel to Newtown to talk to parents there.
他们正在联系其他大规模枪击事件的家庭，并询问他们是否愿意前往纽敦与那里的父母交谈。
Sandy says they didn't even have to think about it.
桑迪说他们甚至不需要考虑这个问题。
They immediately said yes, because they wished they'd had someone to talk to right after Jessi died.
他们立即答应了，因为他们希望杰西死后有人可以倾诉。
But when they arrived at a community center in Newtown, Sandy says they felt nervous and uncomfortable.
但桑迪说，当他们到达纽敦的一个社区中心时，他们感到紧张和不舒服。
Maybe they were intruding.
也许他们闯入了。
They weren't sure if these parents would feel angry or grateful about their presence.
他们不确定这些父母会对他们的存在感到愤怒还是感激。
It's like walking into a funeral of people that you don't know.
这就像走进一个你不认识的人的葬礼。
And I remember saying to my husband, when we walked in the room and I saw their faces, I said, that's what we looked like five months ago.
我记得我对我丈夫说，当我们走进房间，我看到他们的脸时，我说，这就是我们五个月前的样子。
What does that look like?
那看起来像什么？
Sandy Phillips Pff.
桑迪·菲利普斯 Pff.
They're hanging on to each other.
他们互相依偎着。
They've been crying, so their eyes are red.
他们一直在哭，所以他们的眼睛都红了。
They're walking almost robot-like.
他们走路几乎像机器人一样。
Their bodies are moving, but they're not really there.
他们的身体在移动，但他们并不真正在那里。
I realized, that's what I looked like just five months ago.
我意识到，这就是我五个月前的样子。
But it also made me realize, this is exactly what I want to be doing.
但这也让我意识到，这正是我想做的事情。
She wanted to help these parents acclimate to their new reality.
她想帮助这些父母适应新的现实。
Looking back, Sandy says it was probably too soon for them to be out there trying to comfort other parents when they were still so raw.
回顾过去，桑迪说，当其他父母还很不成熟时，他们就去安慰他们可能还为时过早。
But the Phillipses said there was also a strong and instant sense of kinship that they couldn't turn away from.
但菲利普斯夫妇表示，他们也有一种强烈而即时的亲情感，他们无法拒绝。
While they were there, they ran into parents from other mass shootings, too, parents from Virginia Tech and Tucson.
当他们在那里时，他们也遇到了来自其他大规模枪击事件的父母，来自弗吉尼亚理工大学和图森的父母。
These parents had lost kids suddenly and violently in places where they thought that they were safe.
这些父母在他们认为安全的地方突然而暴力地失去了孩子。
The Phillipses now had parents that they could lean on too.
菲利普斯夫妇现在也有了可以依靠的父母。
This was the moment that launched the Phillipses into what's become their life work.
正是在这个时刻，菲利普斯夫妇开始了他们一生的事业。
They could see the need.
他们可以看到这种需要。
There are no experts on what to do when your child dies in a mass shooting.
没有专家知道当你的孩子在大规模枪击事件中死亡时该怎么办。
The only experts are the people it's happened to.
唯一的专家是发生过这种事的人。
So to help them find each other, Lonnie and Sandy have set up an organization called Survivors Empowered.
因此，为了帮助他们找到彼此，朗尼和桑迪成立了一个名为“幸存者授权”的组织。
They help families navigate their grief, plus a bunch of other practical things, everything from medical bills and charity scams that use kids' photos to raise money, to how to get your child's body home if you live out of state.
他们帮助家庭度过悲痛，还有一些其他实际的事情，从医疗费用和利用孩子的照片筹集资金的慈善骗局，到如果你住在外州，如何将孩子的尸体带回家。
However, this new mission was hard for their family and friends to comprehend.
然而，这个新使命让他们的家人和朋友很难理解。
They want you to move on with your life.
他们希望你继续你的生活。
They want you to get back to normal.
他们希望你恢复正常。
My own brother said to me-- said, you're not the same as you were.
我自己的兄弟对我说——说，你和以前不一样了。
I said, let me explain something to you.
我说，我给你解释一下。
You're right.
你说得对。
I'm not the same person.
我不是同一个人。
I never will be.
我永远不会。
They see it as we're obsessed with this.
他们看到这一点就像我们对此着迷一样。
Well, we are, in a sense.
嗯，从某种意义上说，我们是。
We are obsessed with it.
我们对此很着迷。
The Phillipses and a few other parents told me, because it's so hard for people to understand that the grief never fades, old relationships start to fall away.
菲利普斯夫妇和其他一些家长告诉我，因为人们很难理解悲伤永远不会消失，旧的关系开始消失。
People you were closest to disappear, which makes this informal support group even more crucial.
你最亲近的人消失了，这使得这个非正式的支持小组变得更加重要。
What that support looks like over time and what it means to the parents who get it, I've got to see all that when Sandy and Lonnie got to know a couple from Florida who lost their son in the shooting at Parkland.
随着时间的推移，这种支持会是什么样子，对获得这种支持的父母意味着什么，当桑迪和朗尼认识一对在帕克兰枪击事件中失去儿子的佛罗里达夫妇时，我必须看到这一切。
Annika and Mitch Dworet.
安妮卡和米奇·德沃雷特。
I met them at their house.
我在他们家遇见了他们。
Their son's name was Nick.
他们的儿子叫尼克。
He was the captain of Parkland swim team and was about to go to the University of Indianapolis on a swim scholarship.
他是帕克兰游泳队的队长，即将获得游泳奖学金去印第安纳波利斯大学就读。
He was a six-foot tall blond kid who collected different flavors of Oreos and waited for supreme drops.
他是一个六英尺高的金发小伙子，收集了不同口味的奥利奥并等待着最好的掉落。
Mitch said they'd just reached a point where they were becoming real friends.
米奇说他们已经成为真正的朋友了。
They talked about relationships, shared playlists, and watched Scarface together.
他们谈论人际关系、分享播放列表、一起观看《疤面煞星》。
The day of the shooting, Mitch and Annika got phone calls and texts all day from people who said they'd heard Nick was OK.
枪击事件发生当天，米奇和安妮卡一整天都接到人们打来的电话和短信，他们说听说尼克没事。
One person said they heard he'd been moved to a staging area for all the students who'd witnessed the shooting.
一个人说，他们听说他被转移到了所有目睹枪击事件的学生的集结地。
Another said a police officer was giving him a ride home.
另一个人说，一名警察正在送他回家。
And then a nurse at a local hospital said she saw a patient who matched Nick's description.
然后当地一家医院的一名护士说她看到了一名与尼克描述相符的病人。
But by that evening, the Dworets' still hadn't heard directly from Nick, so they went to an area that law enforcement designated as a meeting area.
但到了那天晚上，德沃雷特一家仍然没有收到尼克的直接消息，所以他们去了执法部门指定的会议区。
They sat in a ballroom with other parents and waited.
他们和其他家长坐在舞厅里等待。
Every time the phone rings, you jump and think it's Nick calling from somebody else's phone.
每次电话响起，你都会跳起来，以为是尼克用别人的电话打来的。
The media was calling you.
媒体给你打电话了。
Do you have any comments?
您有什么意见吗？
Can we help you find your son?
我们可以帮你找到你的儿子吗？
I was just like, yeah.
我当时就想，是啊。
And at 2 o'clock in the morning, we see this FBI car, and then they start pulling one family into a room at a time.
凌晨 2 点，我们看到这辆联邦调查局的车，然后他们开始一次把一家人拉进一个房间。
And you hear screams from these rooms.
你会听到这些房间里传来尖叫声。
Even walking into that room, you have this tiny little hope that they're going to say, we couldn't even find your son, and that hope of that he was somewhere else.
即使走进那个房间，你也有一点点希望，他们会说，我们甚至找不到你的儿子，而且希望他在其他地方。
And I keep on thinking, maybe he walked home.
我一直在想，也许他是步行回家的。
And then you do the math in your head, like, doesn't take that long to walk to our house.
然后你在脑子里算算，不需要那么长时间就能走到我们家。
And then they told us the news that he was gone.
然后他们告诉我们他去世的消息。
He was shot and he was never brought to the hospital at all-- just like a nightmare, just like a nightmare.
他被枪杀了，但他根本没有被送往医院——就像一场噩梦，就像一场噩梦。
Nick's body was still at the school because he died instantly, and the building was still a crime scene.
尼克的尸体仍在学校里，因为他当场死亡，而这座大楼仍然是犯罪现场。
It'd be two days before they could see him.
两天后他们才能见到他。
Annika wanted to look at his injuries.
安妮卡想看看他的伤势。
Mitch did not.
米奇没有。
Annika says, this is just how her brain works.
安妮卡说，这就是她大脑的运作方式。
She's an ER nurse.
她是一名急诊室护士。
She needs details.
她需要细节。
The director at the funeral home, wanting to protect her, called the medical examiner's office to ask about Nick.
殡仪馆负责人为了保护她，打电话给法医办公室询问尼克的情况。
And the person that answered the phone said, oh, let me take a look.
接电话的人说，哦，让我看看。
What's the name again?
又叫什么名字？
It's Nicholas Dworet.
我是尼古拉斯·德沃雷特。
He's the swimmer.
他是游泳运动员。
Oh, the swimmer's perfect.
噢，游泳运动员太完美了。
What does that mean?
这意味着什么？
Annika Dworet I think it meant that there was nothing on his face or his head, like he was perfect.
安妮卡·德沃莱特（Annika Dworet） 我认为这意味着他的脸上或头上没有任何东西，就像他是完美的一样。
He'd been shot three times.
他被枪杀了三枪。
A bullet in his chest destroyed his heart and lungs.
他胸口的一颗子弹摧毁了他的心脏和肺部。
Yes, it was helpful.
是的，这很有帮助。
Because your picture in your head, when you hear that somebody has been shot with an AR-15, just so gruesome, so horrible, horrible.
因为当你听说有人被 AR-15 射击时，你脑海中浮现出这样的画面：太可怕了、太可怕了、太可怕了。
And I think to see him and to see on his body where his injuries were made me get it, like he was so peaceful.
我认为看到他并看到他身上的伤势让我明白了，就像他是如此平静一样。
And he was not in pain.
而且他并不痛苦。
And it made me have a better image of him than the one that was playing over in my mind.
这让我对他有了比我脑海中浮现的形象更好的印象。
The Phillipses had traveled to Parkland a couple of days after the shooting.
枪击事件发生几天后，菲利普斯夫妇前往帕克兰。
They didn't know the Dworets, but a mutual friend thought they should talk.
他们不认识德沃雷特夫妇，但一位共同的朋友认为他们应该谈谈。
And so this friend, with Mitch's permission, gave Sandy his phone number.
因此，这位朋友在米奇的允许下，给了桑迪他的电话号码。
Sandy called and got no answer, so she left a voicemail.
桑迪打电话没有得到答复，所以她留下了语音信箱。
I'm very sorry for your loss.
我对你的损失感到非常抱歉。
I understand your loss.
我理解你的损失。
We lost our daughter.
我们失去了我们的女儿。
And you can call me any time.
你可以随时给我打电话。
She let them know that she and Lonnie would be in Parkland for a few more days.
她让他们知道她和朗尼还要在帕克兰待几天。
Mitch called back quickly.
米奇很快回了电话。
He did want to meet with them in person, thought it would be helpful to talk to another family who'd been through a mass shooting.
他确实想亲自与他们会面，认为与另一个经历过大规模枪击事件的家庭交谈会有所帮助。
But he told Sandy the timing wasn't going to work.
但他告诉桑迪这个时机行不通。
His house was packed with family in town for Nick's funeral.
他的家里挤满了镇上的家人来参加尼克的葬礼。
And I'm on the phone with him, and ironically, I'm standing right in front of his child's cross.
我正在和他通电话，讽刺的是，我就站在他孩子的十字架前。
And I said, you're not going to believe this.
我说，你不会相信这一点。
She said that she was standing right in front of Nick's memorial.
她说她正站在尼克的纪念碑前。
I get chills right now.
我现在浑身发冷。
And we proceeded to have a talk.
我们继续交谈。
And he said, I don't think we're ready to meet with you.
他说，我认为我们还没有准备好与你见面。
And I said, I totally understand.
我说，我完全理解。
I'm just glad that we're getting to talk.
我很高兴我们能谈谈。
But you do need to know that truthers are already online saying that this didn't happen.
但你确实需要知道，真相者已经在网上说这并没有发生。
He said, what are truthers?
他说，什么是真理者？
And I said, ugh, OK.
我说，呃，好吧。
I thought like, wow, you kidding me?
我想，哇，你在开玩笑吗？
Crazy.
疯狂的。
Mitch asked her to stop by their house the following day.
米奇邀请她第二天去他们家。
While Mitch was on board with the Phillipses, Annika had a different take on total strangers stopping by their house.
当米奇和菲利普斯一起上船时，安妮卡对完全陌生的人来到他们家有不同的看法。
I was more-- maybe more skeptical, like nervous of why are they here?
我更——也许更怀疑，比如紧张他们为什么在这里？
What's their agenda?
他们的议程是什么？
How can people come and meet with us if they don't want something from us?
如果人们不想要我们的东西，他们怎么能来见我们呢？
Their house was so crowded that the only private place to talk was their bedroom.
他们的房子太拥挤了，唯一可以说话的私人地方就是他们的卧室。
Annika and Mitch sat on the bed, Lonnie and Sandy on chairs.
安妮卡和米奇坐在床上，朗尼和桑迪坐在椅子上。
Annika remembers feeling a little uncomfortable and thinking to herself--
安妮卡记得感觉有点不舒服，心里想——
Why am I sitting here?
我为什么坐在这里？
Why I'm not with the family?
为什么我不和家人在一起？
Who are these people?
这些人是谁？
I don't know them.
我不认识他们。
But I guess it might help.
但我想这可能会有所帮助。
But it was very overwhelming.
但这是非常压倒性的。
Like, I can't believe that I have to sit and have this conversation.
就像，我不敢相信我必须坐下来进行这样的谈话。
What is this?
这是什么？
This is my life now?
这就是我现在的生活？
Was there a point in the conversation where it started to turn for you?
谈话中是否有某个时刻开始对你产生影响？
Yeah.
是的。
I think when they said, don't join our organization now, don't fight now.
我想当他们说，现在不要加入我们的组织，现在不要战斗。
Just take care of yourself and let yourself grieve.
照顾好自己，让自己悲伤。
They asked questions about Nick.
他们询问了有关尼克的问题。
And before long, they were just talking.
不久之后，他们就只是说话了。
Lonnie remembers Mitch asking if they were religious and if they ever got signs from Jessi.
朗尼记得米奇问他们是否有宗教信仰，以及是否收到过杰西的信号。
He told Mitch that, like them, they weren't, but they took 11:11 as a hello from Jessi.
他告诉米奇，和他们一样，他们也不是，但他们把 11 点 11 分当作杰西的问候。
The conversation went on for three hours.
谈话持续了三个小时。
All our friends and family, as much as they did for us and how much love they showed, none of them could have any clue what we were feeling.
我们所有的朋友和家人，尽管他们为我们做了多少，表现出了多少爱，但他们都无法知道我们的感受。
And here were two people knowing exactly what we were feeling.
这里有两个人完全了解我们的感受。
They also made me feel a little more confident.
他们也让我感觉更加自信了。
I don't know if that's the right word.
我不知道这个词是否正确。
You're in a club we all don't want to be in.
你加入了一个我们都不想加入的俱乐部。
We didn't want to meet you.
我们不想见到你。
We wish we would have met under different circumstances, but you have people help you with this kind of grief.
我们希望我们能在不同的情况下相遇，但有人帮助你度过这种悲伤。
And a few days later, when the online conspiracies started appearing about Nick, that he didn't exist or that he was living in California, they remembered Sandy's warning.
几天后，当网上开始出现有关尼克的阴谋时，他不存在或他住在加利福尼亚州，他们想起了桑迪的警告。
It was still upsetting, but less upsetting because they knew it was coming.
它仍然令人不安，但不那么令人不安，因为他们知道它即将到来。
They've helped in other ways, too.
他们还以其他方式提供了帮助。
The Dworets took the Phillipses' advice and got in to trauma therapy right away, both individually and as a family.
德沃雷夫妇采纳了菲利普斯夫妇的建议，立即开始接受创伤治疗，无论是个人还是家庭。
Their younger son, Alex, has been through a lot.
他们的小儿子亚历克斯经历了很多事情。
Nick was his best friend.
尼克是他最好的朋友。
One of the last things Nick did on the day of the shooting was walk Alex to his English class.
枪击当天尼克做的最后一件事就是送亚历克斯去他的英语课。
Alex was injured in the shooting and sat by a kid who died right in front of him.
亚历克斯在枪击事件中受伤，坐在一个死在他面前的孩子旁边。
Annika says managing her grief, along with her son's, has been tough.
安妮卡说，控制她和她儿子的悲伤是很困难的。
There was so much attention on Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.
尼克、尼克、尼克、尼克、尼克受到了如此多的关注。
Everybody came for Nick.
每个人都是冲着尼克来的。
The flowers were for Nick.
这些花是送给尼克的。
The letters were for Nick.
这些信是写给尼克的。
I felt like I-- if this didn't happen to Nicholas and only this, I could have been there for Alex so much stronger and so much more.
我觉得——如果这件事没有发生在尼古拉斯身上，仅此而已，我本可以为亚历克斯提供更强大、更多的帮助。
So I was afraid that he would get neglected in all that.
所以我担心他会因此而被忽视。
I think sometimes children feel like, well, you must have loved that child more than you love me.
我想有时孩子们会觉得，好吧，你一定爱那个孩子胜过爱我。
Sandy's son was 25 when his sister died.
桑迪的妹妹去世时，他的儿子 25 岁。
Sandy tried to talk to him about it, which ended up pushing him farther away.
桑迪试图和他谈谈这件事，结果却把他推得更远。
When she talks to parents, she talks about her own mistakes, too.
当她与父母交谈时，她也会谈论自己的错误。
Eight months after they first met, Mitch is still in touch with Sandy.
他们第一次见面八个月后，米奇仍然与桑迪保持联系。
They text or call each other every couple weeks.
他们每隔几周就会互相发短信或打电话。
Mitch relies on Sandy more than Annika, who unlike him, already has a built-in network of friends she talks to all the time.
米奇比安妮卡更依赖桑迪，安妮卡与他不同，她已经拥有一个内置的朋友网络，她一直可以与之交谈。
And we texted-- I think we texted yesterday.
我们发短信了——我想我们昨天发短信了。
It was 11:11 actually.
实际时间是 11 点 11 分。
We texted yesterday.
我们昨天发短信。
And I feel like she's still in it.
我感觉她还在里面。
She's still with us.
她还和我们在一起。
It's someone who we can lean on and give us support.
这是我们可以依靠并给予我们支持的人。
And I, in turn, want her to lean on me.
反过来，我也希望她能依靠我。
Maybe seeing us get stronger, it gives her energy, too.
也许看到我们变得更强，这也给了她能量。
He's right about that.
他是对的。
Sandy spends almost every day at her tiny kitchen table in her trailer, fielding texts and phone calls from survivors, and messaging with people on social media who ask for help.
桑迪几乎每天都在拖车里的小厨房桌子前度过，回复幸存者的短信和电话，并在社交媒体上与寻求帮助的人发消息。
The pain is always there at the end of the day.
一天结束时，痛苦总是存在的。
And when you go to bed at night, when you first wake up in the morning, it's there.
当你晚上睡觉时，当你早上第一次醒来时，它就在那里。
But you have a sense of purpose and that helps.
但你有一种使命感，这会有所帮助。
A little bit of a lifeline or something?
一点点生命线什么的？
Oh, it's a total lifeline, total-- if I didn't have this work, I don't think I'd be alive, I really don't.
哦，这完全是一条生命线，完全——如果我没有这份工作，我想我就活不下去了，我真的活不下去。
And I say that to Lonnie all the time.
我一直对朗尼这么说。
He goes, but don't you love me enough, kind of thing, to stay alive?
他走了，但你难道还不够爱我，以至于无法活下去吗？
I just don't think I would have had the ability to keep going.
我只是认为我没有能力继续下去。
Mitch and Annika told me that when they're feeling stronger, they'd like to do for other families what the Phillipses have done for them.
米奇和安妮卡告诉我，当他们感觉更坚强时，他们愿意为其他家庭做菲利普斯夫妇为他们所做的事情。
They said, god forbid another shooting happens.
他们说，上帝禁止再次发生枪击事件。
But if it does, we'll be out there with them.
但如果是的话，我们会和他们一起。
Miki Meek is one of the producers of our show.
米基·米克是我们节目的制作人之一。
Our program was produced today by Lisa Pollak and Robyn Semien.
今天我们的节目由 Lisa Pollak 和 Robyn Semien 制作。
The people who put the show together today includes Elna Baker, Zoe Chace, Sean Cole, Damien Graef, Michelle Harris, Chana Jaffe-Walt, Seth Lind, Anna Martin, [INAUDIBLE], Miki Meek, Catherine Raimondo, Nadia Reiman, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Diane Wu.
今天的节目制作人包括 Elna Baker、Zoe Chace、Sean Cole、Damien Graef、Michelle Harris、Chana Jaffe-Walt、Seth Lind、Anna Martin、[听不清]、Miki Meek、Catherine Raimondo、Nadia Reiman、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Diane Wu。
Our senior producer is Brian Reed.
我们的高级制片人是布莱恩·里德。
Our managing editor is Susan Burton.
我们的总编辑是苏珊·伯顿。
We had some original scoring in today's program by Matt McKinley.
今天的节目中有一些由马特·麦金利 (Matt McKinley) 创作的原创配乐。
Special thanks today to Andy and Barbara Parker, Heather and Seth Adams, Nicole Hockley from Sandy Hook Promise, Michael Dorn of Safe Havens International, Harvey Shapiro and James Fox at Northeastern University, Carrie Klein, Kate [INAUDIBLE], Joe Eaton, and Jim Irvine.
今天特别感谢 Andy 和 Barbara Parker、Heather 和 Seth Adams、Sandy Hook Promise 的 Nicole Hockley、Safe Havens International 的 Michael Dorn、东北大学的 Harvey Shapiro 和 James Fox、Carrie Klein、Kate [听不清]、Joe Eaton 和 Jim Irvine。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our archive of over 600 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的 600 多集档案。
We also have an app that lets you download our entire archive and lots of other features.
我们还有一个应用程序，可让您下载我们的整个档案和许多其他功能。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks as always to our programs co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们的项目联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he was watching this documentary on rock and roll in the '60s, but it complained it was taking them forever, forever, to get to The Rolling Stones.
你知道，他在 60 年代观看了这部关于摇滚乐的纪录片，但纪录片抱怨说，他们花了很长时间才到达滚石乐队。
Oh, yeah, it was because you got to get through the doors.
哦，是的，那是因为你必须进门。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
Never again, never again will I let you go.
再也不会，再也不会让你离开。
Never again, never again will I let you go.
再也不会，再也不会让你离开。
Never again.
再也不会了。
Never again.
再也不会了。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。