655: The Not-So-Great Unknown - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #655 | August 24, 2018 655: The Not-So-Great Unknown Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 655 集 | 2018 年 8 月 24 日 655：不太伟大的未知 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass OK, so let's begin today with this story about two people.
序言 Ira Glass 好的，今天我们就从这个关于两个人的故事开始吧。
These are two people with two very different perspectives on the world.
这是两个对世界有两种截然不同看法的人。
And the one thing these two people have in common, the only thing that connects them, is a can of olives that one of them sends to the other.
这两个人有一个共同点，唯一将他们联系在一起的就是他们中的一个人送给对方的一罐橄榄。
Diane Wu, one of the producers of our show, she looked into this.
吴黛安（Diane Wu）是我们节目的制片人之一，她对此进行了调查。
Hey, Diane.
嘿，黛安。
So the first person in the story is named Caroline.
所以故事中的第一个人名叫卡罗琳。
She was a year out of college when this package arrived to her parents' house, a place she hadn't lived for many years.
当这个包裹到达她已经很多年没有住过的父母家时，她已经大学毕业一年了。
Her mom texted her.
她妈妈给她发短信。
What do you want me to do with this box from Walmart.com?
您想让我用 Walmart.com 上的这个盒子做什么？
Which was weird because Caroline hadn't ordered anything from Walmart, like ever, so she just texted her mom back to say, well, just open it up and see what's inside.
这很奇怪，因为卡罗琳没有像以前一样从沃尔玛订购任何东西，所以她只是给妈妈发短信说，好吧，打开它看看里面有什么。
And then she texts me that it's a can of black olives.
然后她给我发短信说这是一罐黑橄榄。
It's just like this can of black olives and an empty box.
就像这罐黑橄榄和一个空盒子一样。
No note, no nothing.
没有任何注释，什么也没有。
So Caroline starts texting her friends and asks them, did you send me these olives?
于是卡罗琳开始给她的朋友发短信问他们，你给我寄了这些橄榄吗？
Is there, like, an olive inside joke that we have that I forgot about?
是否有一个我忘记的橄榄内部笑话？
And people are like, I don't know what you're talking about.
人们会说，我不知道你在说什么。
Like, I didn't send you any olives.
就像，我没有给你寄橄榄。
One of her friends wrote, oh, the classic oliving.
她的一位朋友写道，哦，经典的奥利弗。
So Caroline then goes to urbandictionary.com and types in "oliving." Nothing comes up.
因此，卡罗琳随后访问 Urbandictionary.com 并输入“oliving”。什么也没有出现。
So her friend was kidding?
所以她的朋友是在开玩笑吗？
Diane Wu Yeah.
吴黛安 是的。
Caroline thinks, OK, maybe Walmart just made a mistake.
卡罗琳想，好吧，也许沃尔玛只是犯了一个错误。
This was a random computer glitch.
这是一个随机的计算机故障。
Or maybe her friends were lying and one of them did send it.
或者也许她的朋友在撒谎，其中一位确实发送了它。
So she calls Walmart.
于是她给沃尔玛打电话。
There's no receipt but the order number was on the box.
没有收据，但订单号在盒子上。
And?
和？
Diane Wu And they told her it was not a random computer glitch.
吴黛安 他们告诉她这不是随机的电脑故障。
There was a person who ordered it and sent it to her, like a real person, and he's the other person in the story.
有一个人订购并寄给她，就像真人一样，他就是故事中的另一个人。
And they gave me the name.
他们给了我这个名字。
They said it was this guy named Christopher Fouts, and I don't know anyone by that name.
他们说这个人名叫克里斯托弗·福茨，但我不认识叫这个名字的人。
She thinks, why would a total stranger send me a can of olives?
她想，为什么一个完全陌生的人会送我一罐橄榄呢？
So she Google's Christopher Fouts, looks for him on Facebook, but she can't figure out who he is.
于是她在谷歌上搜索了 Christopher Fouts，在 Facebook 上寻找他，但她不知道他是谁。
Who do you think Christopher Fouts is?
你认为克里斯托弗·福茨是谁？
How do you imagine him?
你想象中的他怎么样？
I imagine that maybe he has, like-- this is a very specific thing that I'm imagining.
我想也许他有，就像——这是我想象的一个非常具体的事情。
Go for it.
大胆试试吧。
Caroline OK, so I imagine that, I don't know, he has a day-to-day office job where he comes in to the cubicle every day, and grinds away.
卡罗琳：好的，所以我想，我不知道，他有一份日常办公室工作，每天都会来到小隔间里，埋头苦干。
And so on the side, he likes to pull these pranks and whatnot.
所以另一方面，他喜欢搞这些恶作剧之类的。
Caroline really liked the whole idea that there was this stranger out there somewhere in the world sending random packages to people, just to surprise them.
卡罗琳真的很喜欢这个想法，即世界上某个地方有一个陌生人随机向人们发送包裹，只是为了给他们一个惊喜。
I think it means there's hope, you know?
我认为这意味着还有希望，你知道吗？
If some random person is just going to send you olives to make you smile when you open up-- you know?
如果某个随机的人只是想送你橄榄，让你在敞开心扉时微笑——你知道吗？
OK, so after that conversation, you set out to find Christopher Fouts, right?
好吧，那次谈话之后，你就开始去找 Christopher Fouts，对吧？
Mm-hm.
嗯嗯。
Ira Glass To ask him why he sent her the olives.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 问他为什么送她橄榄。
Was it hard to find him?
找到他很难吗？
It was a little bit hard.
有点难。
He isn't easily Google-able.
他不容易被谷歌搜索到。
I had to write him a letter, like in the mail.
我必须给他写一封信，就像通过邮件一样。
And it got forwarded to Germany, because that's where he lives now.
它被转发到德国，因为那是他现在住的地方。
So a couple weeks after I started looking for him, he sent me back an email.
所以在我开始寻找他几周后，他给我回了一封电子邮件。
So did you tell him Caroline's theory that he's out there sending random stuff to strangers to make them smile?
那么你有没有告诉他卡罗琳的理论，即他在外面随机向陌生人发送东西以使他们微笑？
I did.
我做到了。
I ran that by him.
我帮他跑了。
And he told me--
他告诉我——
So it turns out Christopher Fouts sells stuff on Amazon as a side gig.
事实证明，克里斯托弗·福茨 (Christopher Fouts) 在亚马逊上销售商品是一种副业。
He runs the whole operation out of his basement.
他在自己的地下室里负责整个业务。
He sells household goods.
他卖家居用品。
And Caroline was one of his customers.
卡罗琳是他的顾客之一。
Miss Caroline had placed an order on December 30th for a 12 piece dining ware set.
卡洛琳小姐于 12 月 30 日订购了一套 12 件套餐具。
But when he went to his basement to send the dining ware set to her, he found out he didn't have it in stock.
但当他去地下室把餐具寄给她时，却发现自己没有库存了。
So Christopher went online and bought it from Walmart, had them send it to her at the address she gave, which was her parents' house.
于是克里斯托弗上网从沃尔玛购买了它，让他们按照她提供的地址寄给她，那是她父母的房子。
But there was a snag.
但有一个障碍。
The dinner ware set was below Walmart's threshold for free shipping.
这套餐具的价格低于沃尔玛的免费送货门槛。
Enter the star of our show, the can of olives.
进入我们节目的明星，橄榄罐头。
Adding the can of black olives put the order at above the threshold for the free shipping.
添加一罐黑橄榄使订单高于免费送货的门槛。
How much did he save?
他存了多少钱？
Diane Wu $3.70, by adding the olives.
Diane Wu 3.70 美元，加入橄榄。
Is there any part of you, when you did this, that thought about Caroline opening the box and getting the olives?
当你这样做时，你是否想过卡罗琳打开盒子并拿到橄榄？
No, actually.
不，实际上。
I was just thinking about minimizing my losses on this order.
我只是想尽量减少这笔订单的损失。
So basically she has thought about him a lot.
所以基本上她已经为他想了很多。
He has never given her any thought at all.
他根本就没有考虑过她。
And the answer to Caroline's question about where her olives came from?
卡罗琳关于她的橄榄来自哪里的问题的答案是什么？
It is the least romantic answer you could possibly come up with.
这是你能想到的最不浪漫的答案。
Like, it's less romantic than just a random computer glitch.
就像，它比随机的电脑故障更不浪漫。
A guy trying to save $3.70 in shipping costs.
一个人试图节省 3.70 美元的运费。
So Diane and I called Caroline, and we explained how Christopher Fouts saw their whole transaction.
于是黛安和我打电话给卡罗琳，我们解释了克里斯托弗·福茨如何看待他们的整个交易。
Her reaction to this, I think, cut to the heart of the matter succinctly.
我认为，她对此的反应简洁地切中了问题的核心。
I think we're just very different people.
我认为我们只是非常不同的人。
True enough.
确实如此。
And the way you see a can of olives depends on your perspective about things in general.
你如何看待一罐橄榄取决于你对事物的总体看法。
Like, do you choose to see life as an adventure or do you see it as a guy trying to reduce shipping costs?
比如，你选择将生活视为一场冒险，还是将其视为一个试图降低运输成本的人？
Caroline, of course, knows where she stands.
卡罗琳当然知道自己的立场。
Life's an adventure.
人生就是一场冒险。
I mean-- yeah, it's like-- I feel like if I had the mentality that life was a guy reducing his shipping costs, that would be just so sad.
我的意思是——是的，就像——我觉得如果我有一种心态，生活就是一个人减少运输成本，那就太悲伤了。
I have to say, I'm with you.
我不得不说，我和你在一起。
I also think life is an adventure, but I do acknowledge the stunning amount of information that we get all the time, letting us know that a lot of it is a guy reducing his shipping cost.
我也认为生活是一场冒险，但我确实承认我们一直获得的信息量惊人，让我们知道其中很多是一个人降低了运输成本。
Yes.
是的。
Most of the data points are a guy reducing his shipping cost, I would say.
我想说，大多数数据点都是一个人降低了运输成本。
Well, today on our radio show we meet some people who are going into remarkable situations, and I mean true adventures.
好吧，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们遇到了一些正在经历非凡境遇的人，我指的是真正的冒险。
We have a space explorer who went to the moon, a professional basketball player, people embracing big dreams.
我们有登上月球的太空探险家，有职业篮球运动员，有怀抱远大梦想的人。
Except all these people are Christopher's.
但这些人都是克里斯托弗的。
They are not Caroline's.
他们不是卡罗琳的。
They are all about keeping shipping costs low.
它们都是为了保持较低的运输成本。
They are practical people in situations so many of us would find deeply thrilling.
他们是务实的人，他们的处境让我们很多人都感到非常兴奋。
How they managed to be who they are in the face of spectacular wonder and the vast unknown-- from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
他们如何在面对壮观的奇迹和巨大的未知时成功地成为自己——来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这就是《美国生活》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act 1-- "So Over the Moon." So a man takes a trip to a place that a lot of people dream of going.
第一幕——“月亮之上”。于是，一个人去一趟很多人都梦想去的地方。
The food's not the best, but the scenery is pretty great.
食物不是最好的，但风景很棒。
Anyway, the experience of it for him was not what you usually hear.
无论如何，他的经历并不是你平常听到的。
David Kestenbaum tells the story.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆讲述了这个故事。
I found out about this guy entirely by accident.
我完全是偶然发现这个人的。
I was watching this short documentary that just came out about the Apollo 8 mission.
我正在观看一部刚刚发布的关于阿波罗 8 号任务的短片。
This is the 50th anniversary.
今年是 50 周年纪念日。
It was a beautiful film with all this footage from the launch and from space.
这是一部美丽的电影，包含来自发射和太空的所有镜头。
So I reached out to the filmmaker, Emmanuel Vaughan-Lee, thinking maybe we could do some version of it here on the radio.
所以我联系了电影制片人伊曼纽尔·沃恩-李，想也许我们可以在广播中制作一些版本。
Maybe we'd do a show about space.
也许我们会做一个关于太空的节目。
And it turns out Emmanuel had done these very long, multi-day interviews with each of the three astronauts.
事实证明，伊曼纽尔对三名宇航员进行了为期多天的长时间采访。
He sent me raw recordings.
他给我发了原始录音。
And listening through, I heard something I was not expecting at all.
仔细听，我听到了一些我完全没有预料到的事情。
One of the astronauts, Frank Borman, was saying things I had just never heard an astronaut say.
其中一位宇航员弗兰克·博尔曼正在说一些我从未听过宇航员说过的话。
Like this--
就像这样——
Space science fiction still bores me.
太空科幻小说仍然令我厌烦。
I've never seen-- what's the name of that-- that very popular--
我从来没见过——那个叫什么名字——这么受欢迎——
2001?
2001年？
Frank Borman Yeah, all that crap.
弗兰克·博尔曼 是的，都是废话。
I've never seen any of that.
我从来没有见过这些。
Emmanuel, the filmmaker, also seemed amused.
电影制片人伊曼纽尔似乎也被逗乐了。
He pressed on.
他继续说道。
What about when you were a kid?
你小时候呢？
Airplanes.
飞机。
Emmanuel Vaughan-Lee Airplanes, and airplanes only.
Emmanuel Vaughan-Lee 飞机，仅限飞机。
Wow.
哇。
Wow.
哇。
Frank Borman And a certain particular girl.
弗兰克·博尔曼和某个特定的女孩。
Susan is Borman's wife.
苏珊是博尔曼的妻子。
They fell in love in high school.
他们在高中时相恋。
Borman was game to answer any question Emmanuel put to him, though he particularly seemed to like the ones he could easily dispatch answers to, like a little problem he had solved.
博尔曼乐于回答伊曼纽尔向他提出的任何问题，尽管他似乎特别喜欢那些他可以轻松给出答案的问题，比如他已经解决的小问题。
In 1945-- David Kestenbaum He was very matter of fact.
1945 年——David Kestenbaum 他很务实。
When Emanuel asked if being in the cramped spaceship was like being in a submarine, Borman said, "I don't know.
当伊曼纽尔问在这艘狭窄的宇宙飞船里是否就像在一艘潜艇里时，博尔曼说：“我不知道。
I've never been in a submarine." My sense reading press accounts from back in the day is that Borman wasn't this blunt about it all back in the '60s, when astronauts were supposed to be playing the part of America's heroes.
我从来没有坐过潜艇。”阅读当时的新闻报道，我感觉博尔曼在 60 年代并没有这么直言不讳，当时宇航员应该扮演美国英雄的角色。
But now, time has passed.
但现在，时间已经过去了。
He's 90 years old.
他已经90岁了。
He says he doesn't give a damn.
他说他不在乎。
I never knowingly altered it, but it was very difficult for me to be as candid now, I think, as I was then-- I just didn't cover some things as in-depth as you're doing here today.
我从来没有故意改变它，但我想，现在对我来说很难像当时那样坦诚——我只是没有像你们今天在这里所做的那样深入地讨论一些事情。
And when you have been this candid and honest as you are now, what's been people's reactions?
当你像现在这样坦诚和诚实时，人们的反应是什么？
I haven't had any reaction, because I'm just being it with you.
我没有任何反应，因为我只是和你在一起。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
When I was a science reporter, I covered NASA for years.
当我还是一名科学记者时，我报道了 NASA 多年。
So I've interviewed my share of astronauts.
所以我采访了我的宇航员。
But I always felt like I wasn't really getting it what it was like to be in space.
但我总觉得我并没有真正体会到在太空中的感觉。
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
They were polite and smart.
他们很有礼貌，也很聪明。
But there was a sameness to it all.
但这一切都有相似之处。
They talk about how amazing it was to be weightless, about how it was humankind's destiny to leave the planet and explore.
他们谈论失重是多么令人惊奇，谈论人类的命运如何离开地球去探索。
But I always felt like of course they'd say that.
但我总觉得他们当然会这么说。
They want to get picked by their bosses to go into space again, and it's the polite thing to say.
他们希望被老板选中再次进入太空，这是礼貌的说法。
It's what people want to hear.
这是人们想听到的。
And I imagine it's what they felt.
我想这就是他们的感受。
After all, that is exactly the kind of person who ends up becoming an astronaut.
毕竟，这正是最终成为宇航员的人。
I've always wondered what someone else might make of going up there, experiencing the vastness of the universe and coming home again.
我一直想知道其他人会怎样去那里，体验浩瀚的宇宙并再次回家。
Borman seemed different.
博尔曼似乎有所不同。
He was the astronaut I had always wanted to hear from.
他是我一直想听到的宇航员。
Borman lives in Billings, Montana.
博尔曼住在蒙大拿州比林斯。
He agreed to block out a couple of hours so we could talk.
他同意抽出几个小时，以便我们可以谈谈。
I flew out there.
我飞到了那里。
We met in the lobby of the hotel with no real plan for how to recognize each other.
我们在酒店大堂见面，并没有真正计划如何认出对方。
There were a lot of retirees around, and I kept wondering is that the guy who's been to outer space?
周围有很多退休人员，我一直在想，这个人是不是去过外太空？
Maybe that guy?
也许是那个人？
We eventually found each other.
我们最终找到了彼此。
He was walking slowly, shirt tucked in.
他把衬衫塞进裤子里，慢慢地走着。
I'd read that when he was an astronaut they'd had to spend $45,000 to make a special helmet for him because his head was larger than others.
我读到，当他还是一名宇航员时，他们不得不花费 45,000 美元为他制作一个特殊的头盔，因为他的头比其他人大。
But I don't know, it seemed normal to me.
但我不知道，这对我来说似乎很正常。
We sat down in a little conference room.
我们坐在一个小会议室里。
I'd half wondered if we should use our time together to watch 2001-- A Space Odyssey.
我有点想知道我们是否应该利用我们在一起的时间观看《2001太空漫游》。
I thought if he actually saw it, he might like it.
我想如果他真的看到了，他可能会喜欢它。
But it's a long film.
但这是一部很长的电影。
I went with something shorter.
我选择了更短的东西。
Can I show you something and see if it speaks to you at all?
我可以给你看一些东西，看看它是否对你有帮助吗？
Star Trek.
星际迷航。
Yeah, that's what I was-- I've never seen that.
是的，我就是这样——我从来没有见过。
Space, the final frontier.
太空，最后的疆域。
These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise--
这些是企业号星舰的航程——
I looked at Borman as he watched, but I couldn't read his expression.
我看着博尔曼，但我看不懂他的表情。
--to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.
——寻找新生活、新文明，大胆去前人未曾去过的地方。
Nonsense to me.
对我来说废话。
I-- it doesn't interest me.
我——这对我不感兴趣。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
To go where no man has gone before, that doesn't do anything for you?
去没有人去过的地方，这对你没有任何帮助吗？
[LAUGHS] David Kestenbaum He really did.
[笑] David Kestenbaum 他真的做到了。
When Borman became an astronaut, only eight people had ever been into space.
当博尔曼成为一名宇航员时，只有八人进入过太空。
Apollo 8-- the mission he was commander of-- it was the very first time humans had ever left Earth's orbit.
阿波罗 8 号——他所指挥的任务——这是人类第一次离开地球轨道。
Borman and the two other crew members in this tiny spacecraft went all the way to the moon.
博尔曼和另外两名宇航员乘坐这艘微型宇宙飞船一路前往月球。
They didn't land.
他们没有着陆。
It was kind of a dry run for the moon landing.
这是登月的一次预演。
But in some ways, it actually seems more exciting to me and terrifying.
但在某些方面，它实际上对我来说似乎更令人兴奋和可怕。
It was the first time anyone had gone that far from the earth, really ventured out into space, seeing the moon so close up.
这是第一次有人离开地球那么远，真正冒险进入太空，如此近距离地观察月球。
This other celestial body right there, outside the window.
另一个天体就在那里，就在窗外。
He was 40 years old.
他40岁了。
How did Borman-- the guy who didn't really care about space-- end up being one of the first people to go to the moon?
博尔曼——一个并不真正关心太空的人——如何最终成为第一批登上月球的人之一？
It's true.
这是真的。
This was the beginning of the space program, and a lot of the early astronauts were test pilots.
这是太空计划的开始，许多早期宇航员都是试飞员。
But still, the other two guys Borman flew with-- they were the type of people who might have gone to space camp as kids.
不过，与博尔曼一起飞行的另外两个人——他们可能是小时候去过太空营的人。
If space camp had existed back then.
如果太空营当时就存在就好了。
One of them, Bill Anders, loved geology.
其中一位名叫比尔·安德斯（Bill Anders）的人热爱地质学。
As a kid, he had decided he wanted to own a piece of every rock in the world.
当他还是个孩子的时候，他就决定要拥有世界上每块岩石的一块。
The other, Jim Lovell, while in high school, had tried to build a model rocket, one powered by liquid oxygen.
另一位名叫吉姆·洛弗尔（Jim Lovell），在高中时曾尝试建造一枚由液氧驱动的模型火箭。
Lovell was mesmerized by space and exploration, and wanted desperately to explore the moon.
洛弗尔对太空和探索着迷，并且迫切希望探索月球。
I was there because it was a battle in the Cold War.
我在那里是因为那是冷战时期的一场战斗。
I wanted to participate in this American adventure of beating the Soviets.
我想参与这场美国击败苏联的冒险。
But that's the only thing that motivated me-- beat the damn Russians.
但这是唯一激励我的事情——击败该死的俄罗斯人。
I've always known we were in a race to beat the Russians, but I didn't realize how intense it could have felt back then.
我一直都知道我们正在一场击败俄罗斯队的比赛，但我没有意识到当时的感觉有多激烈。
The Russians had launched the first satellite, Sputnik.
俄罗斯人发射了第一颗卫星——人造卫星。
They were also the first to put a man in space, the first to put a woman in space.
他们也是第一个将男性送入太空的人，第一个将女性送入太空的人。
The Russians did the first spacewalk.
俄罗斯人进行了第一次太空行走。
They landed a probe on the moon before we did.
他们比我们先于月球登陆探测器。
The US always seemed a step behind.
美国似乎总是落后一步。
As Borman saw it, a freedom loving democracy was being beaten by a dictatorship.
在博尔曼看来，热爱自由的民主国家正在被独裁政权击败。
And whoever put a person on the moon first, that was going to be in the history books forever.
无论谁第一个将人送上月球，那都将永远载入史册。
Borman was an Air Force pilot who'd gone to West Point.
博尔曼是一名空军飞行员，曾就读于西点军校。
He had a reputation for being blunt, and also kind of serious.
他以直率着称，但也有点严肃。
He didn't like anyone messing around.
他不喜欢有人乱来。
He'd never been in battle, but he thought this is where the real fight is now.
他从未参加过战斗，但他认为现在才是真正的战斗。
So he applied to be an astronaut.
于是他申请成为一名宇航员。
The psychiatrist who evaluated him later said Borman was the least complicated man he had ever met.
评估他的精神科医生后来表示，博尔曼是他见过的最不复杂的人。
I don't-- I have no idea.
我不知道。
I have no idea.
我不知道。
I don't-- whether I'm complicated or uncomplicated.
我不——无论我是复杂还是简单。
What would Susan say?
苏珊会说什么？
Frank Borman Susan says this.
弗兰克·博尔曼·苏珊这样说。
I was the most uncomplicated man she ever knew.
我是她认识的最简单的男人。
Are you a romantic person?
你是一个浪漫的人吗？
Frank Borman I think in some ways I am.
弗兰克·博尔曼（Frank Borman） 我认为在某些方面我是。
I get emotional at good movies at times, and things like that.
我有时会因为好电影之类的事情而激动不已。
What movies do you watch?
你看什么电影？
Frank Borman Probably the best movie that I've ever seen is Casablanca.
弗兰克·博尔曼 也许我看过的最好的电影是《卡萨布兰卡》。
I love Casablanca.
我爱卡萨布兰卡。
Casablanca was a wonderful wartime story of the recognition that a good cause is more important than the human being relationship.
《卡萨布兰卡》是一个精彩的战时故事，讲述了人们认识到良好的事业比人际关系更重要。
Oh.
哦。
Frank Borman Win the war and lose the woman was what that was all about.
弗兰克·博尔曼赢得了战争却失去了女人，这就是问题所在。
No, it's very romantic.
不，这很浪漫。
David Kestenbaum I asked Borman to walk me through the mission, what it was like for him at each stage.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆 我请博尔曼引导我完成任务，了解他在每个阶段的感受。
On the morning of the Apollo 8 launch, December 21, 1968, Borman and the two other astronauts sat atop the Saturn 5 rocket, which had only been tested twice, not with anyone on it.
1968 年 12 月 21 日阿波罗 8 号发射的早晨，博尔曼和另外两名宇航员坐在土星 5 号火箭上，该火箭只进行了两次测试，上面没有任何人。
The Apollo 1 had caught fire on the launch pad, killing three astronauts.
阿波罗一号在发射台起火，造成三名宇航员死亡。
Borman's left hand was on an abort switch.
博尔曼的左手放在中止开关上。
He told me he wasn't scared.
他告诉我他并不害怕。
But Susan, his wife-- she was.
但苏珊，他的妻子——她是。
She and their two kids had come to watch the other time Borman had gone into space for the Gemini 7 launch.
上次博尔曼进入太空进行双子座 7 号发射时，她和两个孩子来观看。
But this rocket, the Saturn 5 rocket, was way, way, way bigger-- 36 stories high.
但这枚火箭，即土星 5 号火箭，要大得多——有 36 层楼那么高。
So with this one, they didn't come.
所以就这一件事，他们没有来。
Rockets-- you know, it's a very loud and frightening thing.
火箭——你知道，这是一件非常吵闹和可怕的事情。
And to have your husband and father in the nose of the thing is-- I think it was difficult for them.
让你的丈夫和父亲置身事外——我认为这对他们来说很困难。
--and the pressure's still building up--
——而且压力仍在增加——
She said it was.
她说是的。
That's why she stayed home.
这就是她留在家里的原因。
--45 seconds.
--45秒。
Final reports coming from Frank Borman at this time.
最终报告此时来自弗兰克·博尔曼。
I wasn't going to play you the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 tape, but then I listened back to it.
我本来不打算给你播放 5、4、3、2、1 磁带，但后来我又听了一遍。
It's pretty good.
非常好。
It's like you can hear how big the thing is.
就好像你能听到这东西有多大。
One of the astronauts said it felt like being a rat in the jaws of a big terrier.
一名宇航员说，这感觉就像是一只老鼠被大梗犬咬住了一样。
We have ignition sequence start.
我们已经启动了点火顺序。
The engines are on.
引擎已启动。
4, 3, 2, 1, 0-- we have connect.
4、3、2、1、0——我们已连接。
We have--
我们有——
We have lift off.
我们已经升空了。
Man [INAUDIBLE] looking good.
男人[听不清]看起来不错。
OK, so after the launch-- and please, don't feel compelled to answer yes to any of these questions, you know.
好的，所以在发布之后——请不要觉得有必要对这些问题中的任何一个回答“是”，你知道。
Oh, I won't.
哦，我不会。
I'mma tell you the truth.
我要告诉你真相。
OK.
好的。
[LAUGHS] No. David Kestenbaum I think everyone thinks it would be amazing to be weightless and floating.
[笑]不。大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆（David Kestenbaum）我想每个人都认为失重和漂浮会很神奇。
He said his main observation about being in zero g was just the obvious thing.
他说他对零重力的主要观察是显而易见的。
When you let go of something in midair, it would stay there.
当你在半空中放开某物时，它会留在那里。
Turn loose of this and it would stay there.
松开它，它就会留在那里。
Except when turning loose of it, you'd probably impart a little motion to it so it would float around.
除了松开它时，您可能会对其施加一点运动，这样它就会漂浮起来。
But--
但是——
Maybe for the first 30 seconds, then it became accepted.
也许在最初的 30 秒里，它就被接受了。
I think of explorers as the people who push into new territory, bring back exotic experiences to the rest of us in the ordinary world.
我认为探险家是那些进入新领域、为平凡世界中的我们带回异国经历的人。
But I like the idea the opposite might also be true.
但我喜欢这个想法，相反的情况也可能是正确的。
That after a while somewhere new, it starts to feel familiar, even outer space.
在新的地方呆了一段时间后，它开始感觉熟悉，甚至是外太空。
[INAUDIBLE] coming up on 20 seconds to ignition.
[听不清] 距离点火还有 20 秒。
After they reached orbit, Borman and the two others fired the rocket engine again and did what had never been done before.
到达轨道后，博尔曼和另外两人再次点燃了火箭发动机，做了以前从未做过的事情。
They headed away from the safety of the planet, and out toward the moon.
他们离开了安全的星球，前往月球。
It was going to take them two days to get there.
他们需要两天时间才能到达那里。
Two days in the middle of nothingness.
两天的时间里，什么都没有。
Borman says interviewers always ask if it felt lonely.
博尔曼说，面试官总是询问是否感到孤独。
He feels like everyone wants him to say yes.
他觉得每个人都希望他答应。
But the answer was no.
但答案是否定的。
I can't tell if you're the best person or the worst person to have gone to the moon, in terms of describing what it's like.
从描述月球的情况来看，我无法判断你是登上月球的最佳人还是最差的人。
I'm probably the worst.
我可能是最糟糕的。
David Kestenbaum Did you say, at some point, they should have sent a poet?
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆 你是否说过，在某个时候，他们应该派出一位诗人？
No, I didn't-- if I did, I didn't-- the last thing I would have wanted on our crew was a poet.
不，我没有——如果我有的话，我也没有——我最不希望我们的船员中有一位诗人。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
The trip seemed like it was this weird combination of something intense and romantic and otherworldly, but also a little like a long car ride.
这次旅行似乎是一种强烈、浪漫和超凡脱俗的奇怪组合，但也有点像长途汽车旅行。
At one point in the transcripts, one of them says, "I'm warm now.
在文字记录中，其中一位说：“我现在很温暖。
How about you?" Borman says.
你呢？”博尔曼说。
"I'm hot." The other guy says, "Man, I'm still cold."
“我很热。”另一个人说：“伙计，我还是很冷。”
And this happens on long car rides.
这种情况发生在长途汽车行驶时。
People sometimes get sick.
人们有时会生病。
In this case, it was Borman.
在这种情况下，就是博尔曼。
Same as it does on Earth.
和地球上的一样。
Uncomfortable and I tried to capture it in a disposal bag, but I didn't get all of it.
不舒服，我试图把它装进垃圾袋里，但没能全部收到。
Still I just could not swallow the idea that none of this had moved him.
但我还是无法接受这样的想法：这一切都没有打动他。
You're in space going over 20,000 miles an hour, stars everywhere.
您正以每小时超过 20,000 英里的速度在太空中，星星无处不在。
The first people to really leave the Earth.
第一批真正离开地球的人。
[INAUDIBLE] is coming to you approximately half-way between the moon and the Earth.
[听不清] 大约在月球和地球之间的中间位置向您袭来。
We've been 31 hours, about 20 minutes into the flight, we have about less than 40 hours left to go to the moon.
我们已经飞行了 31 小时，大约 20 分钟，距离登月还有大约不到 40 小时。
Borman says there was really just one moment where he felt something stir in his uncomplicated self.
博尔曼说，确实只有那么一瞬间，他感到自己单纯的自我中有些东西被搅动了。
It happened while they were circling the moon, which as a destination, he says, did not look like a place you would ever want to live or work.
这件事发生在他们绕月飞行时，他说，作为一个目的地，月球看起来不像是一个你想要生活或工作的地方。
Oh, devastation.
哦，毁灭。
Meteor craters, no color at all.
流星陨石坑，完全没有颜色。
Just different shades of gray.
只是不同深浅的灰色。
And then peering out the small windows, over the gray landscape of the moon, they saw something coming up over the horizon.
然后他们从小窗户往外看，在月亮的灰色景观上，看到有东西从地平线上升起。
It was the earth, and it was beautiful.
那是地球，它是美丽的。
This blue and white marble, the only thing that had any color.
这块蓝色和白色的大理石，是唯一有颜色的东西。
Here's how he described it to Emmanuel, the filmmaker.
这是他向电影制片人伊曼纽尔描述的。
It's 240,000 miles away.
距离有24万英里。
It was small enough you could cover it with your thumbnail.
它足够小，您可以用缩略图覆盖它。
The dearest things in life that were back on the Earth-- my family, my wife, my parents.
生命中最亲爱的东西回到了地球——我的家人、我的妻子、我的父母。
They were still alive then.
那时他们还活着。
That was, for me, the high point of the flight from an emotional standpoint.
对我来说，从情感的角度来看，那是这次飞行的最高点。
It's like the high point of being in space was the Earth.
就像太空中的最高点就是地球一样。
The contrast between our memories of the Earth and the color on the Earth, and the totally bleak and dead moon was striking.
我们对地球的记忆以及地球上的颜色与完全暗淡死气沉沉的月亮之间的对比是惊人的。
They'd been taking hundreds of photos of the surface of the moon, because, you know, no one had ever been there.
他们拍摄了数百张月球表面的照片，因为，你知道，从来没有人去过那里。
NASA wanted to pick out a future landing site.
美国宇航局想要挑选一个未来的着陆点。
They took so many photos of the moon that Bill Anders, the astronaut who was doing it, said it got boring.
他们拍摄了如此多的月球照片，以至于负责拍摄的宇航员比尔·安德斯 (Bill Anders) 表示这很无聊。
There was nothing in the mission plan to take pictures of the Earth.
任务计划中没有任何拍摄地球照片的内容。
It's like it hadn't even occurred to anyone it might look interesting.
就好像任何人都没有想到它可能看起来很有趣。
But Borman and the crew, when they saw the Earth rising over the moon, they were like, whoa, that is a photo.
但是博尔曼和工作人员，当他们看到地球从月球上方升起时，他们就像，哇，那是一张照片。
There's actually audio of this moment.
实际上有这一刻的音频。
Oh, my god.
我的天啊。
Look at that picture over there.
看看那边那张照片。
There's the Earth coming up.
地球即将升起。
Wow, that's pretty!
哇，真漂亮！
Hey, don't take that.
嘿，别这样。
It's not scheduled.
没有预定。
That's Borman there, saying, don't take that.
博尔曼在那儿说，别接受这个。
It's not scheduled.
没有预定。
He was joking.
他是在开玩笑。
Hand me a roll of color quick, would you?
快给我一卷颜色，好吗？
Oh, man this [INAUDIBLE].
哦，伙计，这个[听不清]。
David Kestenbaum It ended up being one of the most famous photos of all time.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆 它最终成为有史以来最著名的照片之一。
If you Google "Earth rise," you'd be like, oh, yeah.
如果你用谷歌搜索“地球升起”，你会说，哦，是的。
That one.
那个。
It's like the first selfie of us all, the whole planet, and it's remarkable.
这就像我们所有人、整个地球的第一张自拍照，非常了不起。
It's exactly other worldly.
这完全是另一个世界。
Humans have been watching the moon rise from the earth for hundreds of thousands of years.
数十万年来，人类一直在观看月球从地球升起。
This was the first time someone had seen the reverse-- us, our planet, rising over the moon's horizon.
这是第一次有人看到相反的情况——我们，我们的星球，从月球地平线上升起。
The other thing that strikes me about this photo is just how truly dark space can get.
这张照片让我印象深刻的另一件事是，太空可以变得多么真实黑暗。
Only half the Earth is lit up.
只有一半的地球被照亮。
The other half is in complete blackness, like it's been consumed by something.
另一半则是一片漆黑，就像被什么东西吞噬了一样。
I asked Borman if that was just the exposure of the photo.
我问博尔曼这是否只是照片的曝光。
He said no, it's exactly how it looked.
他说不是，看起来就是这样。
It took a couple of days for Borman and the others to travel a quarter of a million miles back here.
博尔曼和其他人花了几天时间才行驶了 25 万英里回到这里。
It was mostly uneventful.
大部分时间都平安无事。
At some point, Jim Lovell punched some wrong buttons on the computer, which reset the guidance system.
在某个时刻，吉姆·洛弗尔在电脑上按了一些错误的按钮，导致导航系统重置。
The spacecraft had no idea where it was.
宇宙飞船不知道它在哪里。
Lovell had to measure the position of stars by hand, just like sailors used to do at sea.
洛弗尔必须用手测量星星的位置，就像水手过去在海上所做的那样。
They eventually splashed down in the ocean.
他们最终溅落到海里。
They were elated.
他们很高兴。
The mission was over.
任务结束了。
Everything had worked.
一切都成功了。
Borman says it felt like he imagines winning the World Series might.
博尔曼说，他感觉自己有可能赢得世界职业棒球大赛。
He had a quick phone call from the president while on board an aircraft carrier.
当他在航空母舰上时，他接到了总统的快速电话。
And then he went home to his kids and his wife, Susan.
然后他回家见他的孩子和妻子苏珊。
How did you describe the mission to her?
你如何向她描述这次任务？
Like, what you'd seen.
就像你所看到的那样。
I mean, you'd just been on this incredible--
我的意思是，你刚刚经历了这令人难以置信的——
I really didn't talk about it very much.
我真的没有谈论太多。
As a matter of fact, I can't remember talking to her at all about it.
事实上，我根本不记得和她谈过这件事。
You don't remember saying, you won't believe what the moon looks like.
你不记得说过，你不会相信月亮的样子。
I was up there?
我在上面吗？
Why not?
为什么不呢？
Frank Borman It was more important to see the boys and see her.
弗兰克·博尔曼 见到孩子们和见到她更重要。
And what have you be doing?
你在做什么？
We're back.
我们回来了。
It was a wonderful time of reunion and emotion, and the last thing from my mind was to tell them what the moon looked like.
那是一段团聚和感动的美好时光，我最不想做的就是告诉他们月亮是什么样子。
Didn't they want to know?
难道他们不想知道吗？
Frank Borman No. Nobody asked.
弗兰克·博尔曼 没有。没有人问过。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
How glad I was to be home, how glad they were to have me back, and how the boys are doing in school, and why the dog's dish was still full.
我很高兴回到家，他们也很高兴我回来，孩子们在学校表现如何，为什么狗的盘子还满了。
We got right back to the nitty-gritty's.
我们回到了本质。
Just seven months later, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon.
仅仅七个月后，巴兹·奥尔德林和尼尔·阿姆斯特朗就踏上了月球。
The Russians gave up, which for Borman had been the point of the whole thing.
俄罗斯人放弃了，对博尔曼来说，这才是整件事的重点。
So he did something that today seems kind of amazing.
所以他做了一些今天看起来有点令人惊奇的事情。
He quit.
他退出了。
He left the job so many kids dream about.
他辞去了许多孩子梦想的工作。
If you had stayed, could you have walked on the moon?
如果你留下来，你能在月球上行走吗？
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
I could have.
我本来可以的。
Probably.
大概。
I probably could have walked on the moon.
我也许可以在月球上行走。
Yeah.
是的。
Did you want to?
你想要吗？
Frank Borman No. Why?
弗兰克·博尔曼 不。为什么？
Look, the answer to your question-- I would have not accepted the risk involved to go pick up rocks.
听着，你的问题的答案是——我不会接受去捡石头所涉及的风险。
It doesn't mean that much to me.
这对我来说意义不大。
Somebody else wanted to do it.
还有人想做这件事。
Let them take my place.
让他们取代我的位置。
I love my family more than anything in the world.
我爱我的家人胜过世界上的一切。
I would have never subjected them to the dangers simply for me to be an explorer.
我绝不会仅仅因为我是一名探险家而让他们面临危险。
How often do you think of the Apollo 8 mission?
您多久会想起一次阿波罗 8 号任务？
Just when you're on your own, doing your normal stuff.
当你独自一人做你平常的事情时。
It never occurred in our lives much at all, really.
事实上，它在我们的生活中根本没有发生过太多。
I was looking up at the moon the other night, and it still feels crazy to me that you were there.
那天晚上我抬头仰望月亮，你的存在仍然让我感觉很疯狂。
If you do think back to it, is there a particular part that you tend to remember?
如果你回想一下，是否有一个特定的部分是你容易记住的？
The thing that reminds me, that I recall till the day I die, was the Earth, looking back at the Earth.
直到我死去的那一天，让我想起的，是地球，回望着地球。
I wouldn't say Borman hated space.
我不会说博尔曼讨厌太空。
He was just indifferent to it.
他只是对此漠不关心。
Or put another way, he has a strong preference for the Earth.
或者说，他对地球有着强烈的偏爱。
I've written a bunch of endings for this story.
我为这个故事写了一堆结局。
About yes, it's in our nature to explore.
是的，探索是我们的天性。
It's also in our nature to want to be home.
想要回家也是我们的天性。
But I'm very aware of the fact that so many historians and journalists and thinkers have tried to read particular meanings into that time that we went to the moon.
但我非常清楚这样一个事实：许多历史学家、记者和思想家都试图解读我们登月那段时期的特殊含义。
I'm just going to end this the way the world's most uncomplicated man might-- the facts of the present, what he's doing now.
我只是想用世界上最简单的人可能会做的方式来结束这一切——当前的事实，他现在正在做的事情。
It's as earthbound as it gets.
它与地球一样紧密。
Here it is.
这里是。
His wife, Susan, has Alzheimer's, for nine years now.
他的妻子苏珊患有阿尔茨海默氏症，已有九年了。
I'm with her every day, and she can't walk or talk or feed herself.
我每天都和她在一起，但她不能走路、不能说话、不能自己吃饭。
So that's where I come in.
这就是我进来的地方。
So that's very, very difficult-- very.
所以这非常非常困难——非常困难。
And that's it.
就是这样。
Which is either the least romantic thing you can think of or just the opposite.
这要么是你能想到的最不浪漫的事情，要么恰恰相反。
David Kestenbaum.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆。
He's one of the producers of our show.
他是我们节目的制作人之一。
The documentary he mentioned about Apollo 8 is called Earthrise.
他提到的有关阿波罗 8 号的纪录片叫做《地出》。
The film is opening this weekend in New York at the Maysles Documentary Center, New Yorkers, and will be released on the TV show, POV, and the New York Times' Op-Docs website in October.
该影片将于本周末在纽约梅斯尔斯纪录片中心上映，并将于 10 月份在电视节目、POV 和《纽约时报》Op-Docs 网站上发布。
Coming up, when in doubt, when your life's out of whack, there's always Switzerland.
当你有疑问时，当你的生活失控时，瑞士总是有的。
Some pros and cons of that solution in a minute from WBEZ Chicago when our program continues.
当我们的计划继续进行时，芝加哥 WBEZ 会立即介绍该解决方案的一些优点和缺点。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's show-- "The Not-So-Great Unknown." We have stories today of unromantic, unadventurous people in deeply adventurous situations.
今天的节目——“不太伟大的未知”。今天，我们有一些关于不浪漫、不喜欢冒险的人在非常冒险的情况下的故事。
We've arrived at Act 2 of our program, Act 2-- Traveling Violation.
我们已经到了我们计划的第二幕，第二幕——旅行违规。
Jared Marcelle knows a guy, a friend of his, who-- this very week that we're making this show-- is heading out into the unknown, embarking on the kind of trip that for most people would be a great adventure.
贾里德·马塞尔（Jared Marcelle）认识一个人，他的一个朋友，就在我们制作这个节目的这周，他正前往未知的地方，开始一段对大多数人来说将是一次伟大冒险的旅行。
And this guy is doing it for entirely practical reasons.
这家伙这样做完全是出于实际原因。
Or anyway, that's how he sees it.
或者无论如何，他就是这么看的。
He is sure this is the right choice, that it's what he needs to do.
他确信这是正确的选择，这就是他需要做的。
Jared, however-- he is not so sure.
然而贾里德——他不太确定。
Quick warning that there's a curse word in this story that is not beeped here on the podcast of the program.
快速警告，这个故事中有一个咒语，在节目的播客上没有发出提示音。
If you prefer a beeped version of our show-- maybe listening with kids-- it's at our website.
如果您喜欢我们节目的嘟嘟声版本（也许是和孩子们一起听），请访问我们的网站。
Here's Jared.
这是贾里德。
Joel Wright and I are close.
乔尔·赖特和我很亲近。
We grew up together in Crown Heights, in Brooklyn.
我们在布鲁克林的皇冠高地一起长大。
Back then, Joel was a small and goofy kid.
那时，乔尔还是个傻乎乎的小孩子。
We got together recently, talking about those days.
我们最近聚在一起，谈论那些日子。
We were always trying to figure out how to make money.
我们一直在想办法赚钱。
Making $0.50 stretch.
使 0.50 美元变得有弹性。
You know, making $0.85 stretch.
你知道，赚 0.85 美元是有压力的。
Taking care of each other, making sure we ate.
互相照顾，保证我们吃饭。
Bro, I remember there were times where we would meet in front of my house or your building.
兄弟，我记得有时我们会在我家或你的大楼前见面。
And we would say, OK, I'm going go in and look for change I got.
我们会说，好吧，我要进去寻找我得到的零钱。
I'll come back with like $0.50, $0.75.
我会带着 0.50 美元、0.75 美元回来。
You come back with whatever you have-- a dollar, $0.75.
你带着你所有的东西回来——一美元，0.75 美元。
I looked for the change in the couch.
我在沙发上寻找零钱。
You come back.
你回来吧。
And now we got to eat.
现在我们得吃饭了。
Yeah, I remember-- I was going to a pizza shop and splitting that pizza down the middle.
是的，我记得——我要去一家披萨店，把披萨从中间劈开。
We'd always divide stuff in half.
我们总是把东西分成两半。
One time, we only had enough to buy a single chicken wing.
有一次，我们的钱只够买一个鸡翅。
We split it down the middle.
我们把它从中间分开。
It was a rule.
这是一条规则。
We had to make sure each other was fed.
我们必须确保彼此吃饱。
Joel was an average student and didn't really excel at anything, except maybe video games.
乔尔是一名普通学生，除了电子游戏之外，在任何事情上都不擅长。
Love you, man, but it's true.
爱你，伙计，但这是真的。
I was more of a hustler, and always found new ways to get paid, like shoveling snow.
我更像是一个骗子，总是能找到新的赚钱方式，比如铲雪。
Because I did it he gave it a try, but ultimately he was just too lazy to follow through.
因为我这么做了，他就尝试了一下，但最终他只是懒得坚持下去。
I ended up shoveling for him when he got tired.
当他累了的时候，我就帮他铲土。
Joel meant well, but he just needed to find himself, find his thing.
乔尔的本意是好的，但他只需要找到自己，找到他的东西。
And then it was like overnight he did.
然后他就像一夜之间就做到了。
We'd always play basketball together, but he wasn't good.
我们总是一起打篮球，但他打得不好。
Then I went away to school for the ninth grade and when I came back, Joel stood about 6'5".
然后我去上九年级的学校，当我回来时，乔尔身高大约为 6 英尺 5 英寸。
Frankly, I was jealous.
坦白说，我很嫉妒。
And he'd become a local star.
他成了当地的明星。
People were now calling him Air Jamaica-- he's Jamaican.
人们现在称他为牙买加航空——他是牙买加人。
Joel was now practicing twice a day-- at 6:30 AM before class and as well as after school ended.
乔尔现在每天练习两次——上午 6:30 上课前和放学后。
Basketball had changed him.
篮球改变了他。
Joel played all four years in college, and eventually the pros.
乔尔在大学打了四年球，最终成为职业球员。
He went undrafted but played in the NBA D League.
他落选但在 NBA D 联盟打球。
That's the NBA's version of the minor leagues.
这就是 NBA 版本的小联盟。
Joel Wright, Number 15.
乔尔·赖特，15 号。
One article called him the D league's most underrated player.
一篇文章称他为发展联盟最被低估的球员。
In one game, he scored 41 points.
在一场比赛中，他得到了41分。
Ahead to Covington.
前往卡温顿。
All alone-- right.
独自一人——对。
He is now 18 for 18.
现在他18岁了，18岁了。
It didn't pay very much-- $13,000 a year, a penny to an NBA star.
它的报酬并不高——一年 13,000 美元，对于一个 NBA 球星来说只是一分钱。
Then he got an offer to play overseas.
然后他收到了去海外踢球的邀请。
The money was great.
钱多极了。
One team paid him $25,000 a month for two months.
一支球队每月向他支付 25,000 美元，为期两个月。
He asked me if I would go with him, all expenses paid.
他问我是否愿意和他一起去，所有费用都由我承担。
It was a foreign land and he wanted someone to make him feel comfortable.
这是一个异国他乡，他需要有人让他感到舒服。
But I was trying to make my own life.
但我正在努力创造自己的生活。
I couldn't do that following him.
我不能跟着他这么做。
He went to the Philippines.
他去了菲律宾。
You remember times where I was calling you from Saudi Arabia?
你还记得我从沙特阿拉伯给你打电话的次数吗？
Like, ah, damn me.
就像，啊，该死的我。
I had goat, bro.
我有山羊，兄弟。
Like, goat-- I'm eating-- I'm Jamaican.
就像，山羊——我正在吃东西——我是牙买加人。
So often time, I eat curry goat.
很多时候，我吃咖喱山羊。
But I never had the real goat, like-- you see what I'm saying?
但我从来没有真正的山羊，就像——你明白我在说什么吗？
Bro, yo--
兄弟，哟——
What's real goat?
什么是真正的山羊？
Joel Wright Yo, I had the whole goat.
乔尔·赖特 哟，我有一整只山羊。
Like, I had the whole goat in front of me, bro.
就像，我面前有一整只山羊，兄弟。
Like, the tongue, the eye, the teeth, everything.
比如，舌头、眼睛、牙齿，一切。
It was just weird over there.
那里很奇怪。
Sometimes in the middle of the game, you got to stop because it's praying time.
有时在游戏进行到一半时，你必须停下来，因为这是祈祷时间。
But I like it though.
但我还是喜欢它。
The people is nice.
人们很好。
It's genuine people, you know?
这是真正的人，你知道吗？
Everyone on the team had to pray, even if they weren't Muslim?
团队中的每个人都必须祈祷，即使他们不是穆斯林？
No, only basically, like, Saudis.
不，只是基本上，就像沙特人一样。
When I went, I started praying with them.
当我去的时候，我开始和他们一起祈祷。
I started learning the first prayer.
我开始学习第一个祈祷。
I started studying, and it was very interesting.
我开始学习，这很有趣。
You know, because I got so equipped with the people over there, man.
你知道，因为我和那边的人相处得很融洽，伙计。
Like, I'm a people's guy.
就像，我是一个人民的人。
You know me well--
你很了解我——
OK, that's how he talks about it now.
好吧，他现在就是这么说的。
I remember that story a bit differently.
我对这个故事的记忆有点不同。
And his time in Saudi Arabia was especially tough on him.
在沙特阿拉伯的日子对他来说尤其艰难。
Joel was home sick.
乔尔生病在家。
He'd call me almost every night, saying he missed his family.
他几乎每天晚上都会给我打电话，说他想念家人。
Eventually, he did come home the following March, and spent the summer playing in basketball tournaments as he prepared for his next job.
最终，他在第二年三月回到了家，整个夏天都在参加篮球锦标赛，为下一份工作做准备。
A team in Belgium was interested.
比利时的一个团队对此很感兴趣。
The deal came just in time, as Joel's funds were low because he was too generous with his money, something I'd always warned him about.
这笔交易来得很及时，因为乔尔的资金很少，因为他对钱过于慷慨，这是我一直警告他的事情。
But he felt it was his job to help everyone.
但他觉得帮助大家是他的工作。
And this is when Joel really entered the great unknown.
这就是乔尔真正进入未知世界的时候。
There's something I haven't told you about him, and it's something he didn't even know until he was in high school.
关于他，有些事情我没有告诉过你，而他直到上高中才知道。
Joel is not a US citizen.
乔尔不是美国公民。
His mom brought him here illegally when he was little.
当他还小的时候，他的妈妈把他非法带到这里。
He's one of the DACA kids.
他是 DACA 儿童之一。
Right now under DACA, people like him could stay here, work, and go to school.
现在，在 DACA 的保护下，像他这样的人可以留在这里、工作和上学。
So Joel got the opportunity to play in Belgium, which he was going to take.
因此乔尔得到了在比利时踢球的机会，他也打算抓住这个机会。
But then on TV one night, he saw that President Trump was trying to cancel DACA.
但有一天晚上，他在电视上看到特朗普总统试图取消 DACA。
He talked to his lawyer, who said leaving the country now would be a bad idea.
他与律师交谈，律师表示现在离开这个国家是个坏主意。
He might have a hard time getting back in again.
他可能很难再回来了。
So it's like, you leave now, it's like you just leaving the country.
所以就像，你现在离开，就像你刚刚离开这个国家一样。
You just leaving America and that's it.
你刚刚离开美国，仅此而已。
You see what I'm saying?
你明白我在说什么吗？
Once you leave, it's nothing for you to come back.
一旦你离开了，你再回来就没有什么了。
Nothing at all for you to come back.
根本没有什么能让你回来。
So that's when it got to me.
这就是我的想法。
That's when I took a step back.
就在那时我退了一步。
I'm like, yo, I'mma have to really evaluate this.
我想，哟，我必须认真评估一下。
And then that's when I got out the contract.
然后就在那时我签订了合同。
Joel told the Belgian team he wasn't coming, which ruined his reputation with them.
乔尔告诉比利时队他不会来，这毁了他在他们心目中的声誉。
His agent dropped him as a client.
他的经纪人放弃了他的客户身份。
Joel ran out of money, slept on friend's couches and floors.
乔尔没钱了，睡在朋友的沙发和地板上。
He got irritable and stopped training for a bit.
他变得烦躁，暂时停止了训练。
Everyone was asking why Air Jamaica is still home.
每个人都在问为什么牙买加航空还在家里。
It must have been because he couldn't get a job, right?
一定是因为找不到工作吧？
Shame and embarrassment kept him from ever telling people he was out of money and living out of his suitcase.
羞耻和尴尬使他从不告诉别人他没钱了，只能靠手提箱过活。
It kind of broke him.
这有点让他崩溃了。
Here he went from being a made man to living at the mercy of others.
在这里，他从一个被造的人变成了受他人摆布的人。
It had almost been two years since he played professionally, which can kill a career.
他已经快两年没有参加职业比赛了，这可能会毁掉他的职业生涯。
Younger, fresher athletes are streamed into the talent pool every year.
每年都会有更年轻、更新鲜的运动员涌入人才库。
Then one day this spring, I got a call from him.
今年春天的一天，我接到了他的电话。
He'd signed a new contract.
他签了一份新合同。
Joel was going to play for a team in Switzerland.
乔尔原本打算为瑞士的一支球队效力。
It seemed like a terrible idea.
这似乎是一个糟糕的主意。
The courts, for the moment, have kept DACA alive, but the government has stopped giving DACA recipients permission to travel abroad.
目前，法院维持了 DACA 的资格，但政府已停止向 DACA 受益人提供出国旅行的许可。
So if he left, it was now totally unclear how he'd be able to get back in.
因此，如果他离开，现在完全不清楚他如何才能回来。
I'm basically, in other words, taking my own deportation from my family, from my loved ones, from America, period.
换句话说，我基本上是在被驱逐出我的家人、我所爱的人、美国，就这样。
And I'm basically going to start a new life somewhere else, not knowing how I'll be able to get back in the country, not knowing if I'll ever see America again.
我基本上要在其他地方开始新的生活，不知道如何才能回到这个国家，不知道是否还能再次见到美国。
One Thursday night, I went to go see Joel play at a tournament at West 4th.
一个星期四的晚上，我去看乔尔在西四区参加的一场锦标赛。
An older guy called the game on a megaphone.
一位年长的家伙用扩音器宣布了比赛。
Gentleman, do not get hurt.
先生，别受伤。
Gentleman, do not get hurt.
先生，别受伤。
This is a game with a bunch of guys who make a living playing basketball.
这是一群以打篮球为生的人的游戏。
I hadn't seen Joel play in a while.
我已经有一段时间没看到乔尔打球了。
How you feel right now?
你现在感觉如何？
Joel Wright Good as shit.
乔尔赖特 好得一塌糊涂。
I just finished a great game.
我刚刚完成了一场精彩的比赛。
He finished the game with about 25 points, but he looked a little rusty.
全场比赛他拿下25分左右，但看上去有些生疏。
At least, to me he did.
至少，对我来说他做到了。
He's still working his way back, and I worry what if he has a bad season?
他仍在努力回归，我担心如果他赛季表现不佳怎么办？
The Swiss team has only guaranteed him a contract for a year.
瑞士队只为他保证了一年的合同。
If he gets hurt, then what?
如果他受伤了，那怎么办？
They could drop him.
他们可以放弃他。
Then where would he be?
那么他会在哪里呢？
He probably can't come home.
他可能回不了家了
But whenever we talk about this, he doesn't want to hear it.
但每当我们谈论这个时，他就不想听。
He stands by his decision.
他坚持自己的决定。
You can't-- I can't name 10 people on my finger that would make that decision, but I'm happy with my decision.
你不能——我无法在手指上说出 10 个做出这个决定的人的名字，但我对我的决定感到满意。
I'm comfortable with my decision.
我对自己的决定很满意。
But do you understand why I'm not that comfortable with it?
但你明白为什么我对此不太舒服吗？
Yeah-- of course, I understand why you're not that comfortable with it.
是的——当然，我理解为什么你对此不太舒服。
I mean, you, my friends, my loved one, my mom, nothing-- nobody is comfortable with it.
我的意思是，你、我的朋友、我所爱的人、我的妈妈，什么都没有——没有人对此感到舒服。
But it comes to a time in your life when you've got to make important decisions for the things you love.
但在你生命中的某个时刻，你必须为你所爱的事物做出重要的决定。
You've got to make sacrifices for the things you love.
你必须为你所爱的事物做出牺牲。
And I'm just ready to sacrifice.
我已经准备好牺牲了。
Like, what's the worst case scenario?
比如，最坏的情况是什么？
I think we both know the worst case scenario, though-- you getting hurt.
不过，我想我们都知道最坏的情况——你受伤了。
And we don't know if they'll stick by you, right?
我们不知道他们是否会坚持你，对吗？
Like, we don't know if this team will stand by you and keep you around.
就像，我们不知道这个团队是否会支持你并留在你身边。
Like, they're shipping Americans overseas like this, like a supermarket.
就像，他们像超市一样将美国人运送到海外。
You just buy another one.
你只要再买一个就可以了。
I'm not thinking about getting hurt.
我没有考虑受伤。
That's never been on my mind.
我从来没有想过这个问题。
No, of course, you're not thinking about it.
不，当然，你没有考虑它。
But, like, these are possibilities that I feel like we have to talk about.
但是，我觉得我们必须讨论这些可能性。
This is possibility that's not on my mind.
我没有想到这种可能性。
Because if I put that possibility in my mind, it's like I'm putting that energy in the air.
因为如果我把这种可能性放在心里，就好像我把这种能量放在空气中一样。
That's not the energy I want in the air.
这不是我想要的空气中的能量。
That's not the vibe I want to put out in the atmosphere.
这不是我想在气氛中营造的氛围。
I don't want to put that, because the stake is so big for me.
我不想这么说，因为赌注对我来说太大了。
That can't be on my mind.
这不可能在我的脑海里。
Being hurt can't be on my mind.
受伤不能放在我的脑海里。
In sports, this is a great mentality to have.
在体育运动中，这是一种很好的心态。
Losing isn't an option.
失败不是一个选择。
This kind of thing is going to help him make game winning shots.
这种事情将帮助他投出制胜球。
But in life, it seems like a dangerous way to live.
但在生活中，这似乎是一种危险的生活方式。
I reminded him that last time he went abroad, it was tough on him, and he was only gone eight months.
我提醒他，上次出国对他来说很艰难，而且他才出国八个月。
This time, it could be years.
这一次，可能会持续数年。
You know, this time I'm mentally prepared.
你知道，这一次我已经做好了心理准备。
Like, I'm mentally ready to fit in and to know what I'm moving towards.
就像，我在心理上已经准备好融入并知道我要走向什么。
But my thing is this though, because you definitely weren't happy.
但我的事情就是这样，因为你肯定不高兴。
You were very homesick.
你非常想家。
Like, what could have really happened in the past two years that could have you not only ready to leave, but you're leaving under the understanding that coming back here is going to be damn near-- I'm not going to say damn near impossible, but it's going to be tough.
就像，过去两年中真正发生的事情可能会让你不仅准备好离开，而且你在离开时会意识到，回到这里将是非常接近的——我不会说几乎不可能，但这将是艰难的。
Two words-- ambition and pride.
两个字——野心和骄傲。
For the past two years, I felt like I haven't had control over anything, and I think that's what drove me to the worst.
在过去的两年里，我感觉自己无法控制任何事情，我认为这就是让我走向最糟糕的原因。
I feel like that's what put me in depression stage.
我觉得这就是让我陷入抑郁阶段的原因。
I feel like that's what did a lot of those things to me, because I just felt like I was out of control of everything, out of my life.
我觉得这就是对我做了很多事情的原因，因为我觉得我对一切都失去了控制，脱离了我的生活。
I felt like everything was wild.
我感觉一切都很疯狂。
So that makes it much easier.
这样就容易多了。
It makes it much easier to make decisions like that, when you deal with certain stuff.
当你处理某些事情时，它会让你更容易做出这样的决定。
And I know I've got on the phone with you millions of time, and I express all of this stuff to you, man.
我知道我已经和你通了数百万次电话，我向你表达了所有这些东西，伙计。
Pride is a crazy thing.
骄傲是一件疯狂的事情。
I'm scared for you.
我为你感到害怕。
That's all I'm saying.
我就是这么说的。
Yeah.
是的。
Me scared for me too.
我也为我自己害怕。
My mom is scared for me.
我妈妈很担心我。
Everybody's scared for me.
每个人都为我感到害怕。
But is scared then covering what I've got to take care of.
但害怕覆盖我必须照顾的事情。
28 years old.
28岁。
What's being scared going to do to me now?
现在害怕会对我做什么？
I get it.
我明白了。
Joel has a lot of people like me in his life, telling him this is a bad idea.
乔尔的生活中有很多像我这样的人，告诉他这是一个坏主意。
But we're not offering him anything that seems better.
但我们不会向他提供任何看起来更好的东西。
If it were me, I'd get a 9 to 5 job, settle into the world.
如果是我，我会找一份朝九晚五的工作，融入这个世界。
But Joel doesn't want an ordinary life.
但乔尔并不想要平凡的生活。
His approach to dealing with adversity is to just work even harder at the thing he's good at.
他应对逆境的方法就是在他擅长的事情上更加努力。
And that's basketball.
这就是篮球。
He wants to be a basketball player again.
他想再次成为一名篮球运动员。
He just wants these last two years to be over.
他只是希望这两年快点过去。
The risk is too great for me to cosign this move, but maybe that's my problem.
对我来说，共同签署这一举措的风险太大，但也许这就是我的问题。
Maybe in some ways I've subconsciously become a pillar of uniformity.
也许在某些方面我已经下意识地成为了统一的支柱。
I asked him what he knows about Switzerland.
我问他对瑞士了解多少。
And he said he doesn't know anything.
而且他还说他什么都不知道。
I told him to at least Google the weather.
我告诉他至少要谷歌一下天气。
I know he doesn't like the cold.
我知道他不喜欢寒冷。
Joel's flight was scheduled for Thursday-- yesterday.
乔尔的航班定于周四——昨天。
We spent the day together.
我们一起度过了一天。
He went to the barbershop and got a haircut, then visited his mom at the restaurant she works at.
他去理发店理了发，然后去他妈妈工作的餐厅拜访了她。
She was in the kitchen cooking.
她正在厨房做饭。
She said a little prayer for him.
她为他做了一点祈祷。
I'm going to miss you, man.
我会想念你的，伙计。
I pray everything you do may prosperous and success.
我祈祷你所做的一切都会繁荣和成功。
In the name of the Father, and the Son, and his Holy Spirit to guide you and protect you upon your journey.
以圣父、圣子和圣灵的名义，在您的旅程中引导并保护您。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊，是啊。
Joel's Mom And guide you upon your--
乔尔的妈妈并指导你——
On this sacrifice.
就这个牺牲而言。
Joel's Mom It's a journey, OK?
乔尔的妈妈这是一次旅行，好吗？
American and a sprint?
美国和短跑？
Joel Wright It's a marathon, not a sprint.
乔尔·赖特 这是一场马拉松，而不是短跑。
Oh.
哦。
Joel Wright It's not a sprint.
乔尔·赖特：这不是短跑。
It's no rush.
不着急。
After that we drove to the airport and said goodbye.
之后我们驱车前往机场并告别。
If you happy, I'm happy.
如果你快乐，我就快乐。
Not really, but yeah.
不是真的，但是是的。
All right, man.
好吧，伙计。
Jared Marcelle My dog, B.
贾里德·马塞尔 我的狗，B.
All right, bro.
好吧，兄弟。
Jared Marcelle Air Jamaica has left the building.
贾里德·马塞尔牙买加航空已离开大楼。
I just hope he can come back.
我只是希望他能回来。
Act 3-- A Fly on the Call.
第三幕——一只随叫随到的苍蝇。
So there are all kinds of experiences that people avoid because they are just too far out there-- too daring, taboo.
因此，人们会回避各种各样的经历，因为它们太遥远了——太大胆、太禁忌。
This next story is a work of fiction about somebody who gets up the nerve, and tries something that he's always wondered about.
下一个故事是一部虚构的作品，讲述的是一个鼓起勇气尝试一些他一直想知道的事情的人。
Quick warning that this story has nothing explicit in it at all, but it refers to some grown up activities that probably aren't right for kids to hear about, and won't make much sense to lots of them anyway.
快速警告一下，这个故事根本没有任何明确的内容，但它提到了一些可能不适合孩子们听到的成年人活动，而且对他们中的很多人来说也没有多大意义。
This piece of fiction was written by Neil Drumming.
这部小说的作者是尼尔·德鲁明。
It's read for us by an actor, Dorian Missick.
这是由演员多里安·米西克为我们朗读的。
Cassie answered the phone all sharp and bothered-- "Hello?"-- like she wasn't expecting anyone, which technically I'm not anyone to her.
卡西接了电话，语气尖锐，很困扰——“喂？”——就好像她没有在等任何人，从技术上来说，我对她来说不是任何人。
"You're late," she said.
“你迟到了，”她说。
That I was, about two minutes late.
我就是这样，迟到了大约两分钟。
She wasn't usually this particular though.
不过她平时并不这么特别。
"Yes, mistress.
“是的，女主人。
I'm sorry, mistress." I usually don't have much to say.
对不起，夫人。”我通常没什么话可说。
Cassie and I have a routine.
卡西和我有一个惯例。
OK, let me back up for a minute.
好的，让我备份一下。
A few months ago, I decided to go see a dominatrix.
几个月前，我决定去看施虐狂。
Like, a real one, at a dungeon and everything.
就像一个真实的人，在地牢什么的。
It was something I'd always fantasized about and I'd just gotten out of a relationship, so I didn't have to try to hide it from anyone.
这是我一直幻想的事情，而且我刚刚结束了一段关系，所以我不必试图向任何人隐瞒它。
I got excited, left the office two hours early on a Tuesday, took the train to this place I had heard about in midtown.
我很兴奋，周二提前两个小时离开办公室，坐火车去了我听说过的市中心的这个地方。
Inside, it wasn't what I was expecting, but it was a lot.
里面的东西虽然不是我想象的那样，但是也很多。
The smell of leftover sweat on the leather.
皮革上残留的汗味。
Muffled sound of some poor bastard down the hall getting berated.
大厅里传来某个可怜的混蛋受到斥责的低沉声音。
The paperwork, like, literally checking boxes next to taboo desires I don't actually have-- foot fetish, medical play, jeez.
文书工作，比如，字面上勾选我实际上没有的禁忌欲望旁边的方框——恋足癖、医疗游戏，天哪。
I passed a couple other customers.
我经过了另外几个顾客。
White dudes under the dim, red lights.
昏暗的红灯下的白人。
They looked me up and down like I couldn't possibly be into this stuff too.
他们上下打量着我，好像我不可能也喜欢这种东西。
Huh, even here.
呵呵，这里也是。
They were was sort of right though.
不过，他们是对的。
I ended up in a room, blindfolded, with my hands cuffed behind the back.
我最终被困在一个房间里，眼睛被蒙住，双手被反铐在背后。
This woman with a vaguely European name and accent shut the thick wooden doors and started in with the humiliation, barking at me to kneel.
这个有着隐隐约约的欧洲名字和口音的女人关上了厚厚的木门，带着羞辱开始冲我跪下。
I paid for the session up front, so I was trying to commit-- to submit, I should say.
我预先支付了会议费用，所以我应该说，我试图承诺——提交。
I was still too much in my head, involuntarily dissecting the fantasy piece by piece.
我的脑子里仍然有太多的东西，不由自主地把这个幻想一点一点地剖析。
Sure, the handcuffs were real enough, but nothing else was.
当然，手铐是真的，但除此之外什么都不是。
This woman couldn't possibly be this angry.
这个女人不可能这么生气。
I mean, I just got here.
我是说，我刚到这里。
She just got me down on my knees when there was a knock at the door.
她刚把我跪下来，就有人敲门。
The mistress was called out into the hallway to deal with some dungeon-related clerical issue.
女主人被叫到走廊去处理一些与地牢相关的文书问题。
So she left me there-- no explanation, no sorry, I'll be right back.
所以她把我留在那里——没有解释，没有抱歉，我马上回来。
I wasn't alone.
我并不孤单。
She was right outside, squabbling with the house mistress.
她就在外面，正在和女主人争吵。
But the point is she wasn't paying attention to me.
但关键是她没有注意到我。
I was there, but I wasn't considered important enough to be considered.
我在那里，但我没有被认为重要到值得被考虑的程度。
It felt somehow great.
感觉有点棒。
I felt like it didn't matter what I had to say or what I did next.
我觉得我要说什么或接下来做什么并不重要。
She come back when she decided to come back and that was it.
当她决定回来时，她就回来了，仅此而已。
I don't know if that makes sense, but it was like being reminded that the world would just keep going on without me, that I was nothing, that I was weightless.
我不知道这是否有道理，但这就像被提醒，没有我，世界也会继续运转，我什么都不是，我没有重量。
I mean, it might sound dark to some people.
我的意思是，对某些人来说这可能听起来很黑暗。
But I don't know, to me, it just felt like the truth.
但我不知道，对我来说，这只是感觉就像事实。
I was into it.
我很喜欢它。
That was it, my pervert origin story.
就是这样，我的变态起源故事。
No gamma radiation, no meteor shower, just me in a room, powerless and forgotten.
没有伽马辐射，没有流星雨，只有我在一个房间里，无能为力，被遗忘。
And just like anything else that feels good to you and seems weird to other people, there's a whole cottage industry dedicated to it.
就像任何其他让你感觉良好而对其他人来说似乎很奇怪的事情一样，有一个专门从事它的家庭手工业。
After only a minimal amount of research on the topics of abandonment fetish and neglect fantasy, I found myself nervously browsing online for phone sex workers who would gladly ignore me for an hourly rate.
在对遗弃恋物癖和忽视幻想等主题进行了少量研究后，我发现自己紧张地在网上浏览电话性工作者，他们很乐意以小时费率忽略我。
Mistress Cassie wasn't the first woman I called for this service, but she was the one who figured me out.
卡西女士并不是我打电话请求这项服务的第一个女人，但她是第一个了解我的人。
With the others, I'd call up and they'd make a big ruckus of running a hot bath, unwrapping some expensive gift chosen from an Amazon wish list by a wealthy admirer.
和其他人一起，我打电话给他们，他们会大吵大闹地洗个热水澡，打开一些由富有的崇拜者从亚马逊愿望清单中挑选的昂贵礼物。
I'd hear them cooing about new lingerie, clomping around their apartments in high heels.
我听到她们叽叽喳喳地谈论新内衣，穿着高跟鞋在公寓里走来走去。
And that was intended to be my cue to, I guess, get off somehow?
我猜这是为了暗示我要以某种方式下车？
For the record, it's not sexual like that for me.
根据记录，这对我来说不是性的。
For me, it's a mental thing.
对我来说，这是一个精神上的事情。
With Cassie, there was no, "god, it's so warm in here," or, "I got to get out of these wet clothes," exaggerated bullshit.
对于卡西来说，没有“天哪，这里真暖和”，或者“我得脱掉这些湿衣服”之类的夸张废话。
She kept it 100% real.
她保持了100%真实。
Most days, I'd just focus on the sound of her fingernails dragging against her laptop as she lazily surfed the web.
大多数时候，我只会关注她懒洋洋地上网时指甲摩擦笔记本电脑的声音。
Sometimes she watched Netflix, smoked weed until she fell asleep, and I'd sit silently through whole episodes of Black Mirror and Archer with no responsibility other than to think about her-- what she might be wearing, was she dreaming-- knowing that I had absolutely no impact on any of it.
有时她看Netflix，抽大麻直到她睡着，而我会静静地坐着看完《黑镜》和《弓箭手》的整集，除了思考她之外没有任何责任——她可能穿什么，她在做梦吗——我知道我对这一切绝对没有影响。
I was a nonevent in her uneventful life.
在她平静的生活中，我只是一个无足轻重的人物。
When I was on the phone with Cassie, I could feel my muscles relax.
当我和卡西打电话时，我能感觉到我的肌肉放松了。
The demands of my own existence faded away.
我自身存在的要求逐渐消失。
My will disappeared into the silence between us.
我的意志消失在我们之间的沉默中。
I breathe easier.
我呼吸更顺畅了。
It's funny.
很有趣。
I spent my whole life working twice as hard to show the next man that I'm at it, only to reach a place where I was happy being utterly beside the point.
我一生都在加倍努力地工作，以向下一个人展示我在这方面的能力，结果却达到了一个让我很高兴完全脱离主题的地步。
Progress is weird.
进展很奇怪。
Anyway, like I said, today with Cassie was different.
不管怎样，就像我说的，今天和卡西在一起是不同的。
She was agitated from the moment she got on the line.
从接通电话的那一刻起，她就很激动。
"What exactly is it that you want to hear from me?" she asked bluntly and loud.
“你到底想听我说什么？”她直率而大声地问道。
I was used to Cassie being herself, but this was more.
我已经习惯了卡西做她自己，但这更重要。
"Well," she snapped, "What do you want me to say?" I froze.
“好吧，”她厉声说道，“你想让我说什么？”我愣住了。
I didn't know how to respond.
我不知道该如何回应。
And then someone else spoke, someone else in the room with Cassie that I hadn't realized was there, some guy.
然后有人说话了，和卡西一起在房间里的另一个人，我没有意识到他在那里，某个人。
I almost laughed into the phone.
我差点对着电话笑了。
I should have recognized the question right away.
我应该立即意识到这个问题。
"What do you want me to say?"
“你想让我说什么？”
I asked somebody the same thing in the same tone less than a year ago, and again six or seven months before that.
不到一年前，我用同样的语气问过某人同样的事情，六七个月前又问过一次。
"What do you want me to say?" It's never actually a question, is it?
“你想让我说什么？”这实际上从来都不是一个问题，不是吗？
Cassie had apparently answered my call while in the middle of a fight with some guy and decided to take it anyway, because that's our deal.
卡西显然是在与某个人打架时接听了我的电话，但无论如何还是决定接听，因为这是我们的交易。
Whatever happens, I listen.
无论发生什么，我都会听。
And so I heard the guy say that he thought she was being stubborn, and that was obviously something they needed to talk about.
所以我听到那个人说他认为她很固执，这显然是他们需要谈论的事情。
She insisted that they were talking.
她坚持认为他们正在交谈。
They were talking right now.
他们现在正在说话。
There was a long pause.
一阵长长的停顿。
And then he said her name, her real name.
然后他说出了她的名字，她的真名。
And I thought to myself, that doesn't sound right.
我心想，这听起来不对。
I prefer Cassie.
我更喜欢卡西。
Cassie let the phone hang by her side, and I felt like a kid trying to make sense of his parents arguing.
卡西把电话挂在身边，我感觉就像一个孩子试图理解父母的争吵。
But the gist of the conversation was that Cassie was planning to go away this weekend with some friends.
但谈话的要点是卡西计划这个周末和一些朋友一起出去。
These friends included an ex-boyfriend of hers.
这些朋友包括她的前男友。
Cassie insisted she had no intentions of hooking up with him, but he was still an important part of her life.
卡西坚称她无意与他交往，但他仍然是她生活中重要的一部分。
The guy was not at all OK with this plan.
这家伙对这个计划一点也不同意。
There was some pleading and cross-talking and a lot of shouting.
有人恳求、互相交谈，还有很多叫喊声。
And at one point, a door slammed.
就在这时，一扇门砰地关上了。
And I stood up, alone in my own apartment.
我站起来，独自一人在自己的公寓里。
And then it was over.
然后就结束了。
"Hello?" It was Cassie, alone, in her apartment.
“你好？”这是卡西独自一人在她的公寓里。
And this time, she was definitely talking to me.
而这一次，她肯定是在跟我说话。
"Did you hear all of that?" she asked.
“你都听到了吗？”她问道。
Her voice was low and hoarse.
她的声音低沉而沙哑。
She'd been crying.
她一直在哭。
"Yeah," I said.
“是的，”我说。
"Are you OK?"
“你还好吗？”
"Let me ask you something," she said, taking one of those deep, shaky breaths.
“让我问你一件事，”她说，颤抖着深吸了一口气。
"If you love someone and you know they love you, no question, wouldn't you just trust them?" "Of course," I said, because that's the answer I would have wanted to hear.
“如果你爱一个人并且你知道他们爱你，毫无疑问，你难道不相信他们吗？” “当然，”我说，因为这就是我想听到的答案。
"Are you just saying that to get me to stop crying?" she asked.
“你这么说只是为了让我停止哭泣吗？”她问道。
I suddenly became aware of all the heavy things in my apartment-- the furniture, the TV, the desk stacked with bills, and the phone in my hand with Cassie on the other end.
我突然意识到我公寓里所有沉重的东西——家具、电视、堆满钞票的桌子，以及我手里的电话，另一端是卡西。
It was exhilarating feeling her there, closer, more real than she had ever been to me before.
感觉她就在那里，比以前对我更亲近、更真实，真是令人兴奋。
It was also kind of freaking me out.
这也让我有点害怕。
"That's sweet," she said.
“这很甜蜜，”她说。
"You could have hung up a long time ago." "Don't worry about it," I said.
“你早就可以挂电话了。” “别担心，”我说。
"I'm not giving you a refund," she said.
“我不会给你退款，”她说。
I had to laugh.
我不得不笑。
We talked for another 20, 25 minutes after that.
之后我们又聊了20、25分钟。
And I mean, we did actually talk.
我的意思是，我们确实谈过。
Turns out, Cassie and I have a lot in common.
事实证明，卡西和我有很多共同点。
Both from Jersey, both like house music, think that Black Mirror is overrated.
两人都来自泽西岛，都喜欢浩室音乐，都认为《黑镜》被高估了。
She was funny.
她很有趣。
I hadn't thought of her as funny.
我没想到她这么有趣。
She says she had that trip coming up, and then a doctor's appointment, and then some thing at her kid's school-- something else we also had common-- but that she'd be around in the middle of next week for another session.
她说她即将进行那次旅行，然后预约医生，然后在她孩子的学校做一些事情——我们也有共同的事情——但她会在下周中旬参加另一场会议。
After we hung up, I sat down at my desk, went online, and found Cassie's Amazon wish list.
挂断电话后，我坐在办公桌前，上网找到了卡西的亚马逊愿望清单。
I picked out something tasteful-- sexy but not too provocative.
我挑选了一些有品味的东西——性感但不太挑衅。
And I sent it to Cassie, two day delivery.
我把它寄给了卡西，两天送达。
The next week, I booked a session with someone else, someone I didn't know.
下周，我和另一个我不认识的人预约了一次会议。
Dorian Missick reading a short story by one of our producers, Neil Drumming.
多里安·米西克 (Dorian Missick) 正在阅读我们的制片人之一尼尔·德鲁明 (Neil Drumming) 的短篇小说。
The two of them, by the way, made a feature film a few years back called Big Words.
顺便说一下，他们两人几年前制作了一部故事片，名为《大话》。
Neil wrote and directed, Dorian starred.
尼尔自编自导，多里安主演。
It's on iTunes and Amazon Prime.
它在 iTunes 和 Amazon Prime 上提供。
Act Four: Act Four Ira Glass So we close out our show today with this last story, a true story of an unadventurous explorer.
第四幕：第四幕 Ira Glass 因此，我们以最后一个故事结束今天的节目，这是一个不爱冒险的探险家的真实故事。
The rapper Aesop Rock grew up in New York and lived in cities most of his life.
说唱歌手伊索·洛克 (Aesop Rock) 在纽约长大，一生大部分时间都生活在城市中。
And a few years ago, he decided he was going to pack up his gear and moved to the country into an actual barn to work on music.
几年前，他决定收拾行李搬到乡下的一个真正的谷仓里从事音乐工作。
So there he is, writing lyrics and making beats in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by unfamiliar stuff, including wildlife.
所以他就在那里，在一个不知名的地方写歌词并创作节奏，周围都是陌生的东西，包括野生动物。
And he has thoughts about it.
他对此有想法。
(RAPPING) Hey.
（说唱）嘿。
Warm cider, barn full of spiders.
温暖的苹果酒，谷仓里满是蜘蛛。
Orange moon, starry night, particle exciters in a pageant rivaled only by the origin of fire.
橙色的月亮、星光灿烂的夜晚、粒子激发器的盛会只有火的起源可以与之媲美。
Now add an organism from alternative environs.
现在添加来自替代环境的生物体。
A dozen pair of cartoon eyes in the thicket to see a neophyte get sliced into ribbons.
灌木丛中十几双卡通眼睛看着新手被切成丝带。
I'm here to pick lice off each other and assimilate, duck a suit, troubleshoot his moody user interface.
我来这里是为了互相除掉虱子并同化，脱下西装，解决他喜怒无常的用户界面问题。
True and sucker-proof, grew to fully disengage.
真实且防骗，逐渐完全脱离。
Float his only vanishing point away from the picture plane.
让他唯一的消失点远离画面。
Go to where the radio trails off and people catch rabies on the way to their mailbox.
去无线电信号减弱、人们在去邮箱途中感染狂犬病的地方。
Under a sideways rain cornering the brier, still pull a broad sword from a hoarded synthesizer.
在一场斜向荆棘的雨下，仍然从储藏的合成器中拔出一把阔剑。
Nap in a hole in a tree.
在树洞里打盹。
Cat leaving voles at my feet.
猫把田鼠留在我脚边。
Talking Master P, memory foam, everything.
会说话的Master P、记忆海绵，应有尽有。
Jettison the rest and roulette us a new trajectory.
抛弃其余的，轮盘赌我们一个新的轨迹。
Spinal Tap 11, tapping resin out the evergreen.
脊椎攻丝11，攻丝出常绿树脂。
Designated dark horse, headless independently.
指定黑马，无头独立。
Sidewalks end with ponds and frog eggs.
人行道的尽头是池塘和青蛙蛋。
Buried bones, and his very own blurry Sasquatch vids.
埋葬的骨头，还有他自己的模糊的大脚野人视频。
Led like field ants to a hot lens.
像田野里的蚂蚁一样被引向炙热的镜头。
8 o'clock kittens vs. cobwebs-- fight!
8点钟小猫大战蜘蛛网——战斗！
Maps won't work here.
地图在这里不起作用。
Aesop Rock from the album, The Impossible Kid.
伊索摇滚来自专辑《不可能的孩子》。
Well, our program was produced today by Neil Drumming.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由尼尔·鼓明制作的。
People who helped make our program today-- Elna Baker, Zoe Chace, Sean Cole, Whitney Dangerfield, Jared Floyd, David Kestenbaum, Anna Martin, Miki Meek, Katherine Rae Mondo, Nadia Reiman, Lilly Sullivan, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Diane Wu.
今天帮助我们制作节目的人有：Elna Baker、Zoe Chace、Sean Cole、Whitney Dangerfield、Jared Floyd、David Kestenbaum、Anna Martin、Miki Meek、Katherine Rae Mondo、Nadia Reiman、Lilly Sullivan、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Diane Wu。
Our senior producer is Brian Reed.
我们的高级制片人是布莱恩·里德。
Our managing editor is Susan Burton.
我们的总编辑是苏珊·伯顿。
Special thanks today to Brent Sayers and Charlotte Taillor.
今天特别感谢布伦特·塞耶斯和夏洛特·泰勒。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our archive of over 600 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的 600 多集档案。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, we were watching The Matrix, and I look over at him, and he's cheering for the robots!
你知道，我们正在看《黑客帝国》，我看着他，他正在为机器人欢呼！
For the robots!
为了机器人！
He explains to me later--
后来他向我解释——
I think we're just very different people.
我认为我们只是非常不同的人。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Be back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们会带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。