653: Crime Scene - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #653 | February 16, 2024 653: Crime Scene Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 653 集 | 2024 年 2 月 16 日 653：犯罪现场 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass I'm in the office of Dr. LJ Drakovic, who examines dead bodies for the police in Pontiac, Michigan, and he's running through this carousel of slides, all of them murder victims.
序言 Ira Glass 我在 LJ Drakovic 博士的办公室里，他正在密歇根州庞蒂亚克为警方检查尸体，他正在浏览幻灯片，所有这些都是谋杀受害者。
They're close-ups of body parts.
它们是身体部位的特写。
To say, as you just flip through these things, this is the grisliest slide show I've ever seen.
可以说，当你翻阅这些东西时，这是我见过的最可怕的幻灯片。
It's just like every slide is some--
就像每张幻灯片都有一些——
Is another story, yes.
是的，又是另一个故事了。
Every crime scene is a story of its own, is a novel, and it opens up in every direction.
每个犯罪现场都是一个自己的故事，是一部小说，并且向各个方向展开。
To illustrate, he tells me this story.
为了说明这一点，他给我讲了这个故事。
Back when he worked in the Wayne County Coroner's Office in Detroit, there was a young woman.
当他在底特律韦恩县验尸官办公室工作时，那里有一位年轻女子。
This story, by the way, probably is not suitable for younger children.
顺便说一句，这个故事可能不适合年幼的孩子。
OK, anyway, there's this young woman.
好吧，无论如何，有这个年轻女子。
She apparently killed herself by taking her boyfriend's gun, putting it in her mouth, and firing.
她显然是通过拿起男友的枪，将其放入嘴里并开枪自杀的。
It was ruled a suicide.
被判定为自杀。
That's what the police thought.
警察就是这么想的。
That's what the other medical examiners thought, but Dr. Drakovic wondered.
其他法医也是这么想的，但德拉科维奇医生却想知道。
This woman didn't have a history of depression.
这位女士没有抑郁症病史。
There's no note.
没有任何注释。
My colleagues tease me as being paranoid and seeing things where they were not.
我的同事们嘲笑我偏执，总是看到不该看到的东西。
So he does the examination, including the inside of the woman's mouth.
所以他进行了检查，包括女人口腔内部的检查。
In this particular case, the tongue showed two holes.
在这个特殊的例子中，舌头上有两个洞。
Two holes, he says, is very strange in this kind of case because usually, he told me-- this gets a little explicit, again.
他说，在这种情况下，两个洞是非常奇怪的，因为通常，他告诉我——这又变得有点明确了。
Usually, he says, when people shoot themselves in the mouth to kill themselves, they kind of point the gun upward toward the brain.
他说，通常，当人们向自己的嘴开枪自杀时，他们会将枪指向上方的大脑。
The tongue doesn't get involved at all-- doesn't get injured.
舌头根本不受影响——不会受伤。
The only way this could have happened, he realized, is if the tongue was all bunched up, kind of pushing against the tip of the gun-- the muzzle of the gun when the gun went off.
他意识到，发生这种情况的唯一方法是舌头全部卷起来，有点推着枪尖——枪响时的枪口。
But why would you do that?
但你为什么要这么做呢？
Why put your tongue there if you were killing yourself?
如果你要自杀，为什么还要把舌头放在那里？
In my assessment of this, this was a homicide.
根据我的评估，这是一起凶杀案。
Now, do I know for sure?
现在，我确定吗？
No, I did not.
不，我没有。
But that's the logic.
但这就是逻辑。
So I told the detectives that that was my finding.
所以我告诉侦探这是我的发现。
They went back to interview the boyfriend, and they said, we know that you shot her.
他们回去采访男朋友，他们说，我们知道你开枪打死了她。
He said, no, I didn't.
他说，不，我没有。
They said, yes, we know.
他们说，是的，我们知道。
The doctor told us.
医生告诉我们。
He said, what doctor?
他说，什么医生？
He says, the doctor that did the autopsy.
他说，是进行尸检的医生。
He said, what autopsy?
他说，什么尸检？
I called the coroner's office two weeks ago, and they told me they never did autopsies on suicides.
两周前我给验尸官办公室打电话，他们告诉我他们从未对自杀者进行过尸检。
Of course, you know, why call the coroner's office to ask that question if you're not planning on killing anybody?
当然，你知道，如果你不打算杀人，为什么要打电话给验尸官办公室问这个问题呢？
It did not take very long after that, he said, for this guy to confess.
他说，此后没过多久，这个人就坦白了。
As Dr. Drakovic says, every crime scene--
正如德拉科维奇博士所说，每个犯罪现场——
Is a novel.
是一本小说。
Ira Glass Well, today on our radio program, we dive into those crime scenes and the novels that led to them.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：好吧，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们将深入探讨那些犯罪现场以及导致这些犯罪现场的小说。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
And the thing that makes a crime scene such a strange kickoff to any story, any detective's investigation, is that the crime scene is filled with details, but it is totally unclear which ones are the important ones.
犯罪现场对于任何故事、任何侦探的调查来说都是如此奇怪的开端，因为犯罪现场充满了细节，但完全不清楚哪些细节是重要的。
Years back, I was talking to this former forensic criminologist, Enrico Togneri, about this.
几年前，我曾与前法医犯罪学家恩里科·托格内里 (Enrico Togneri) 谈论过此事。
And he said, sure, at a crime scene, there's all the stuff you would imagine from watching crime shows on TV.
他说，当然，在犯罪现场，有你在电视上观看犯罪节目时所能想象到的所有东西。
The shape of a blood stain can tell you the velocity and direction of the blood.
血迹的形状可以告诉您血液的速度和方向。
A mist of blood means one thing.
血雾意味着一件事。
A puddle of blood means something else.
一滩血意味着别的东西。
But there's so much more, he said.
但还有更多，他说。
Yeah, there's certain routine things that you would look for, and let's say you get into a scene where there's still some food on the table.
是的，你会寻找一些常规的东西，假设你进入了一个场景，桌子上仍然有一些食物。
You want to see if it's still warm.
你想看看天气是否还热。
You want to see where the placing of the utensils might be.
您想看看餐具可能放置在哪里。
That might give you a clue whether it's a right-handed or a left-handed person that was last there.
这可能会给你一个线索，最后到达的人是右撇子还是左撇子。
A smell could be important.
气味可能很重要。
You never know.
你永远不知道。
If you can remember it, can you think of a case where an utterly ordinary object ended up being the piece of evidence that clinched it?
如果你还记得的话，你能想到一个案例，一个极其普通的物体最终成为了定案的证据吗？
Well, as a matter of fact, there was a burglary with a piece of cheese that had a tooth mark in it, and we were able to match the bite mark to the individual that did the burglary.
嗯，事实上，有一起入室盗窃案，其中一块奶酪上有牙印，我们能够将咬痕与入室盗窃的人相匹配。
What?
什么？
Enrico Togneri Just a piece of cheese left in a refrigerator.
Enrico Togneri 冰箱里剩下的一块奶酪。
The individual decided to help himself to some food, and he took a bite out of a piece of cheese.
这个人决定自己吃点东西，他咬了一块奶酪。
And he had a unique enough bite mark that we were able to identify it.
他有一个足够独特的咬痕，我们能够识别它。
When the police are done with a crime scene, who actually cleans up the crime scene?
当警察清理完犯罪现场后，谁来真正清理犯罪现场？
Usually, the person who owns the property.
通常是拥有财产的人。
We would mark it as a possible biohazard, and then the individual would hire whoever he wanted to hire to have it cleaned up.
我们会将其标记为可能的生物危害，然后该个人将雇用他想雇用的任何人来清理它。
Other drivers stare at Neal Smither's truck and sometimes take pictures.
其他司机盯着尼尔·史密瑟的卡车，有时还会拍照。
On the sides and back of it, in big red letters, is the company name-- Crime Scene Cleaners, specializing in homicides, suicides, and accidental deaths.
在它的侧面和背面，用红色大字写着公司名称——犯罪现场清洁工，专门处理凶杀、自杀和意外死亡。
That's Nancy Updike, and this is Act 1 of our program.
这是南希·厄普代克，这是我们节目的第一幕。
Act 1-- Grime Scene.
第一幕——污垢场景。
Back when we first broadcast today's program-- this was a few years back-- Nancy went to a town near San Francisco to see Neal Smither, who cleans up crime scenes for a living.
当我们第一次播出今天的节目时——那是几年前的事了——南希去旧金山附近的一个小镇看望以清理犯罪现场为生的尼尔·史密瑟。
Quick warning-- some of this might not be suitable for younger listeners, the squeamish, and wimps.
快速警告——其中一些内容可能不适合年轻听众、神经质者和胆小者。
Also, we have unbeeped the curse words here in the podcast.
此外，我们还取消了播客中的脏话。
If you prefer a beeped version of our show, it's at our website.
如果您喜欢我们节目的嘟嘟声版本，请访问我们的网站。
After spending two days with Neal Smither, I was this close to signing up to open his Los Angeles franchise.
在与尼尔·史密瑟待了两天后，我差点就签约开设他的洛杉矶特许经营店了。
I'm not joking.
我不是在开玩笑。
Neal spends all day, every day speeding around in a huge white pickup truck with a cell phone glued to his ear, making sure his company gets to dispose of every drop of blood within driving distance of Orinda, California, and his franchises in Utah, Kansas, Texas, Las Vegas, and Alabama.
尼尔整天都在开着一辆巨大的白色皮卡车飞驰，耳朵上贴着手机，确保他的公司能够在加利福尼亚州奥林达以及他在犹他州、堪萨斯州、德克萨斯州、拉斯维加斯和阿拉巴马州的特许经营店的车程范围内处理掉每一滴血液。
Mostly, he doesn't leave the truck.
大多数情况下，他不会离开卡车。
He's had this one for about a year, and it's got 90,000 miles on it.
他拥有这辆车大约一年了，已经行驶了 90,000 英里。
Neal is absolutely blunt about his job, to the point of crassness.
尼尔对他的工作非常直率，甚至到了粗鲁的地步。
I did a job one time.
我曾经做过一次工作。
An old guy dropped dead, decomposed on his kitchen floor.
一个老人倒地身亡，腐烂在厨房地板上。
So when we got there, we had about a 10-by-5 foot square pool of just gore.
所以当我们到达那里时，我们看到了一个大约 10 x 5 平方英尺的血池。
No power in the house, so it's dark.
家里没有电，所以很黑。
It's very quiet.
非常安静。
I'm in there with a respirator because it was just humming.
我带着呼吸器在那里，因为它只是嗡嗡声。
It smelled.
闻起来。
I'm hearing this noise, you know, and I shouldn't be hearing a noise.
我听到了这种噪音，你知道，我不应该听到这种噪音。
There's no power in this house.
这房子里没有电。
Nothing.
没有什么。
I get a flashlight.
我得到一个手电筒。
I'm hearing this funky noise, man.
我听到了这种奇怪的声音，伙计。
What the fuck is that?
那是什么鬼？
So I get closer to the gore with my light, and it's just a bowling ball size thing of maggots, and they're writhing around in the blood and the gore, and it sounds like when you knead hamburger.
所以我用灯光靠近血迹，它只是保龄球大小的蛆虫，它们在血液和血迹中扭动，听起来就像你揉汉堡包时一样。
The maggots were making a sound that you could hear?
蛆虫发出了你能听到的声音吗？
There were so many of them, just so many of them writhing around in this pool of gore that, yeah, you could hear them.
他们的数量太多了，太多的人在这片血泊中翻滚，是的，你可以听到他们的声音。
The only time he speaks gently about what he does is on sales calls.
他唯一一次温和地谈论自己所做的事情是在销售电话中。
[PHONE RINGING] Neal Smither Hi there, this is Neal.
[电话铃声] 尼尔·史密瑟 你好，我是尼尔。
May I help you?
我可以帮你吗？
Yes, sir.
是的，先生。
Yes, sir.
是的，先生。
All righty.
好吧。
That's all you need to tell me.
这就是你需要告诉我的一切。
Let me kind of walk you through how we work.
让我向您介绍一下我们的工作方式。
We'd have a crew to you within the hour.
我们会在一小时内派出工作人员来接您。
They'd write you up a free estimate.
他们会给你写一份免费估价。
If you like the estimate, they'd rock and roll on that job right then and there.
如果你喜欢这个估计，他们会当场就做好这项工作。
Our services are all-inclusive.
我们的服务是全方位的。
By the way, have you noticed Neal's southern accent?
顺便问一下，你注意到尼尔的南方口音了吗？
He made it up.
他弥补了。
He borrowed it from his Arkansas grandparents so he could play Steel Magnolia during business negotiations.
他从阿肯色州的祖父母那里借来了它，这样他就可以在商业谈判中玩钢玉兰。
He grew up in Santa Cruz.
他在圣克鲁斯长大。
He has no problem admitting the accent is cultivated.
他毫不犹豫地承认他的口音是经过培养的。
Something about a southern voice, it just kind of opens up a trusting vein, you know, which is great.
关于南方的声音，它只是打开了一种信任的脉络，你知道，这很棒。
I mean, that's what I want.
我的意思是，这就是我想要的。
Neal has that tightly wound energy, like Jim Carrey.
尼尔拥有像金·凯瑞一样紧密缠绕的能量。
He's 5' 5" with short brown hair under a baseball cap and sunglasses.
他身高 5 英尺 5 英寸，留着棕色短发，戴着棒球帽和太阳镜。
He smokes Kools, does not stop for lunch, and drives way too fast.
他抽烟，不停地吃午饭，而且开车速度太快。
The directness, the crassness is all deliberate.
那些直接、粗鲁都是故意的。
It's his marketing strategy.
这是他的营销策略。
Gore sells.
戈尔有卖。
Look at the truck.
看看卡车。
We're pretty up front.
我们非常领先。
I hope I don't offend too many people.
希望我不要得罪太多人。
I just try to be honest with them, you know?
我只是试着对他们诚实，你知道吗？
I mean, we're dealing with death.
我的意思是，我们正在面对死亡。
How do you sugarcoat death?
你如何粉饰死亡？
You know, you can't.
你知道，你不能。
Neal describes for me the outline left on a pleather couch by a body that has decomposed into it over the course of 60 days.
尼尔向我描述了尸体在 60 天的时间里分解后在皮革沙发上留下的轮廓。
And I want to stop here and acknowledge that this is gross.
我想在这里停下来并承认这很恶心。
It is.
是的。
It's gross, but it's interesting.
这很恶心，但很有趣。
And to me, it's much more interesting than it is gross.
对我来说，它比恶心更有趣。
I mean, think of it-- a melted person.
我的意思是，想一想——一个融化的人。
Four years ago, Neal had never seen a dead body.
四年前，尼尔从未见过尸体。
He was a laid-off mortgage broker, for God's sake.
老天爷，他是个下岗的抵押贷款经纪人。
Then he saw Pulp Fiction.
然后他看到了《低俗小说》。
Remember that scene where John Travolta blows the guy's head off in the back of the car by mistake, and they have to call in Mr. Wolf to fix everything?
还记得约翰·特拉沃尔塔（John Travolta）错误地在车后座上炸掉了那个家伙的头的场景吗？他们不得不请沃尔夫先生来解决一切问题？
Good.
很好。
What I need you two fellows to do is take those cleaning products and clean the inside of the car.
我需要你们两个做的就是拿那些清洁产品来清洁汽车内部。
I need you to go in the back seat, scoop up all those little pieces of brain and skull.
我需要你到后座去，把那些大脑和头骨的小碎片舀起来。
Get it out of there.
把它从那里拿出来。
Wipe down--
擦下来——
Neal is possibly the only person in America who saw that scene and thought, wow, I want that job.
尼尔可能是美国唯一一个看到那个场景并想，哇，我想要那份工作的人。
And it turns out it is a real job.
事实证明这是一份真正的工作。
If someone dies in your house, it's up to you to get it clean.
如果有人死在你的房子里，你就得把房子打扫干净。
But doing it yourself, even if you wanted to, raises all sorts of problems.
但即使你愿意，自己动手也会引发各种各样的问题。
Are you complying with the state and federal laws governing the disposal of bodies and bodily fluids?
您是否遵守有关尸体和体液处理的州和联邦法律？
Do you have the proper permits and liability coverage?
您有适当的许可证和责任保险吗？
No, you don't.
不，你不知道。
So you call Neal.
所以你打电话给尼尔。
Here's how his job breaks down.
这就是他的工作崩溃的原因。
Murders are the least of his business.
谋杀是他最不关心的事情。
Most of the cleanups are either decomps-- bodies that have sat for a while and started to decompose.
大多数清理工作要么是腐烂的——尸体已经放置了一段时间并开始腐烂。
I did a decomp on the very end unit upstairs there.
我对楼上的最后单元进行了分解。
It was bad.
很糟糕。
How long had it been going?
已经过去多久了？
Neal Smither He sat for a good, long while.
尼尔·史密瑟 他坐了好长一段时间。
He was all humming, maggots everywhere.
他浑身嗡嗡作响，到处都是蛆虫。
It was a typical decomp.
这是一次典型的分解。
Or suicides.
或者自杀。
Suicides and attempted suicides are a surprisingly big part of his job.
令人惊讶的是，自杀和自杀未遂是他工作的重要组成部分。
The rest of Neal's business consists of meth labs and kiddie houses.
尼尔的其余业务包括冰毒实验室和儿童之家。
Kiddie houses are those places usually full of old newspapers and other garbage that have dozens of cats everywhere, eating and peeing and crapping.
儿童屋通常堆满了旧报纸和其他垃圾，到处都有几十只猫，它们在吃东西、撒尿和拉屎。
Meth labs are usually hotel accounts.
冰毒实验室通常是酒店账户。
Neal has a few national chains on contract.
尼尔与几家全国连锁店签订了合同。
Hotel rooms get used all the time to cook methamphetamine, Neal says.
尼尔说，酒店房间一直被用来制作甲基苯丙胺。
He does a lot of business with hotels.
他与酒店有很多生意。
He claims, hyperbolically, that there's no hotel in the country that hasn't had a murder or suicide in one of its rooms.
他夸张地声称，全国没有一家酒店的房间里没有发生过谋杀或自杀事件。
The second day I spend with Neal, he gets called out to a jail to clean up after a woman who tried to kill herself in the bathroom off the prisoners' waiting room.
我和尼尔一起度过的第二天，他被叫去监狱清理一名妇女在囚犯候诊室外的浴室里试图自杀的情况。
I'm not allowed to record anything.
我不被允许记录任何东西。
I have to just watch.
我只能看着。
I hold open the bathroom door with my foot while Neal sets up his stuff.
我用脚打开浴室的门，尼尔收拾东西。
Next to the sink are several thick, dark red drops of blood, and there are a few streaks of blood on the wall.
水槽旁边有几滴浓浓的、暗红色的血滴，墙上也有几道血痕。
Inside the sink is more blood.
水槽里有更多的血。
It isn't a lot, maybe a third of a cup, overall, but clearly, she did some damage.
总体来说，数量并不多，也许是三分之一杯，但显然，她造成了一些损害。
Then, while Neal's getting into his protective suit, a woman in the waiting room behind us-- a tweaker, Neal confided to me later, meaning a meth user-- reads the back of Neal's shirt out loud.
然后，当尼尔穿上防护服时，我们身后候诊室里的一个女人——尼尔后来向我透露，她是一名扭蛋者，指的是冰毒使用者——大声朗读尼尔衬衫的背面。
Crime Scene Cleaners, she says.
犯罪现场清洁工，她说。
You cleaned my mother's house.
你打扫了我母亲的房子。
Neal turns around.
尼尔转身。
Yeah?
是吗？
Which one was that?
那是哪一个？
Without any emotion, the woman says her mother and cousin were murdered by her mother's boyfriend a while ago.
这名女子面无表情地说道，她的母亲和表弟不久前被她母亲的男朋友谋杀了。
You guys cleaned the house, she repeats.
你们把房子打扫干净了，她重复道。
Oh yeah.
哦，是的。
I remember that one.
我记得那个。
That was on the news, Neal says.
尼尔说，这上了新闻。
The woman nods and doesn't say anything, so Neal goes back to cleaning.
女人点点头，什么也没说，于是尼尔继续打扫卫生。
He whips through it in about 10 minutes, like it's spilt milk.
他用了大约 10 分钟就把它翻了一遍，就像倒了牛奶一样。
In fact, it's exactly like cleaning up a mess at home, except with industrial strength cleansers and equipment.
事实上，这就像清理家里的乱七八糟的东西一样，只不过需要使用工业强度的清洁剂和设备。
He snaps on some rubber gloves, sprays the whole area with a special enzyme to neutralize the blood and kill any bacteria or viruses, scrubs any tough spots with a little brush, and then wipes everything clean with heavy duty paper towels.
他戴上橡胶手套，在整个区域喷洒一种特殊的酶，以中和血液并杀死任何细菌或病毒，用小刷子擦洗任何坚硬的地方，然后用重型纸巾把所有东西擦干净。
It isn't hard.
这并不难。
Just depressing.
简直郁闷。
Bottom line-- I'm a businessman.
底线——我是一名商人。
I'm an entrepreneur.
我是一名企业家。
I want to make money and build my company.
我想赚钱并建立我的公司。
Were you like this as a kid?
你小时候也是这样吗？
Neal Smither Well, I was the kid in school who would buy boxes of Blow Pops and bring them to school and sell them at lunch.
尼尔·史密瑟（Neal Smither）：嗯，我是学校里那个会买盒吹气棒棒糖带到学校并在午餐时出售的孩子。
I was the kid at school who ran a lunch ticket scam.
我是学校里那个进行午餐票诈骗的孩子。
I had a girlfriend in the office, the head office in high school, and she'd kick me down with lunch tickets for a discounted price.
我在办公室有一个女朋友，高中时在总部，她会用折扣价的午餐券把我踢倒。
And then I'd sell them for an increased price, but it was still lower than what the Mexican kids or whoever could buy them from the school.
然后我会以更高的价格出售它们，但仍然低于墨西哥孩子或任何可以从学校购买它们的人。
So I just figured I'd beat the school by $0.20 a ticket.
所以我想我可以比学校多出 0.20 美元一张的门票。
Shit, I bankrolled my whole high school career on Blow Pops and lunch tickets.
妈的，我的整个高中生涯都是靠吹气和午餐券来维持的。
It was a beautiful thing.
这是一件美好的事情。
I always had money, and I didn't break any laws.
我一直有钱，而且我没有违反任何法律。
Didn't sling dope-- none of that shit.
没有扔毒品——没有那些狗屎。
Bought my own car and I bankrolled it with Blow Pops and lunch tickets.
我买了自己的车，并用 Blow Pops 和午餐券为它提供了资金。
Neal's plan is to retire in seven years, at 40, and be rich.
尼尔的计划是七年后退休，40 岁，然后变得富有。
But in the meantime, the job is changing him.
但与此同时，这份工作正在改变他。
Seeing so many crime scenes, seeing the way so many people die, he's also seen how they live-- in houses filled with old newspapers, dirty dishes, and too many cats, never cleaning the bathroom.
看到了这么多的犯罪现场，看到了这么多人的死亡方式，他也看到了他们的生活——房子里堆满了旧报纸、脏盘子和太多的猫，却从不打扫浴室。
I think more than anything now, most people are just dirty motherfuckers.
我认为现在最重要的是，大多数人都是肮脏的混蛋。
We live like animals, man.
我们像动物一样生活，伙计。
You have no idea.
你不知道。
I'm a clean freak.
我是个爱干净的人
My place is spotless.
我的地方一尘不染。
So I was-- when I got into this, I was shocked by the way people live.
所以当我进入这个领域时，我对人们的生活方式感到震惊。
It's amazing.
太棒了。
I went into a bathroom yesterday at a car wash, right?
我昨天在洗车场进了浴室，对吗？
Guy in there doing his business, and I walk into the thing.
那个人在那里做他的事，我走进去。
And you know, this guy had thrown his garbage on the floor and didn't flush the toilet.
你知道，这家伙把垃圾扔在地板上，也没有冲厕所。
Just common-- no common courtesy at all.
只是普通的——根本没有普通的礼貌。
And he was in a tie and-- a clean-cut, nice-looking guy.
他打着领带——一个轮廓分明、相貌英俊的小伙子。
Didn't your mom teach you anything, you 40-year-old dirtbag?
你这个40岁的废物，你妈妈没教过你什么吗？
Are you just a dirtbag?
你只是一个土包子吗？
That's dirtbag, straight up.
直接说就是垃圾袋。
That is a dirtbag.
那是一个垃圾袋。
Did you think people were this big dirtbags before this job?
你以为在这份工作之前人们都是这么大的垃圾吗？
No, I had no idea.
不，我不知道。
I had no idea.
我不知道。
I thought everyone was normal.
我以为大家都很正常。
Believe me.
相信我。
The normal is the dirtbaggedness.
正常的是肮脏的。
Fuck.
他妈的。
But now, you see more dirtbaggery everywhere?
但现在，你看到到处都是肮脏的东西吗？
Oh, it's 80/20 dirtbag.
哦，这是80/20的垃圾袋。
You bet.
你打赌。
I swear to God.
我向上帝发誓。
So now I go home and take a hot shower.
所以现在我回家洗个热水澡。
Then I'll convert to a bathtub, read my book, and not think abou dirtbags, wait for my girl to get home.
然后我会换成浴缸，读我的书，不去想垃圾，等待我的女儿回家。
Wait for death.
等待死亡。
Death or my girl-- I love them both.
死亡还是我的女儿——我都爱他们。
[LAUGHING]
[笑]
Nancy Updike Neal's thought a lot about his own death in the last few years, not surprisingly.
南希·厄普代克·尼尔在过去几年里对自己的死亡思考了很多，这并不奇怪。
He says he wants to die slowly, so he can say goodbye to everyone.
他说他想慢慢死去，这样他就可以和所有人告别。
He doesn't want to be found by a company like his and cleaned up with his family off somewhere wondering what happened.
他不想被像他这样的公司找到，并与家人一起离开某个地方，想知道发生了什么。
He doesn't even care if it's a painful death, he says, as long as it's slow.
他说，他甚至不在乎死亡是否痛苦，只要死得慢就行。
Cancer would be fine, he says.
他说，癌症会好起来的。
He'd take cancer.
他会得癌症。
When was the last time you heard someone say that?
你最后一次听到有人这么说是什么时候？
Nancy Updike is a producer for our program.
南希·厄普代克是我们节目的制片人。
We heard about Neal Smither from the book, Gig, which is a kind of unofficial sequel/tribute to Studs Terkel's classic book about Americans and their jobs, Working.
我们从《Gig》一书中听说了尼尔·史密瑟，这是对 Studs Terkel 关于美国人及其工作的经典著作《工作》的非官方续集/致敬。
Neal is still working.
尼尔还在工作。
He has not retired.
他还没有退休。
He says business is booming.
他说生意兴隆。
Act 2-- The Police Cannot Do.
第二幕——警察不能做。
So the clues at a crime scene are not always conclusive, of course.
当然，犯罪现场的线索并不总是决定性的。
Lots of crimes are forever unsolved.
许多罪行永远悬而未决。
People die, and it's never explained why.
人们会死，但从来没有解释过为什么。
Stuff disappears and is never found again, though we want it to be.
东西消失了，再也找不到了，尽管我们希望如此。
Fiction writer Aimee Bender has this story about a boy who would be handy to have around at lots of crime scenes.
小说作家艾米·本德有一个关于一个男孩的故事，他很容易出现在许多犯罪现场。
I have to say this is one of my favorite pieces of fiction we've ever put on the radio show.
我不得不说这是我们在广播节目中播放过的我最喜欢的小说之一。
Her story was read first by actor Matt Molloy.
她的故事首先由演员马特·莫洛伊朗读。
Once, there was an orphan who had a knack for finding lost things.
从前，有一个孤儿，他有寻找丢失东西的本领。
Both his parents had been killed when he was eight years old.
他八岁时，他的父母双双被杀。
They were swimming in the ocean when it turned wild with waves, and each had tried to save the other from drowning.
当他们在海里游泳时，海浪汹涌起来，每个人都试图拯救对方免于溺水。
The boy woke up from a nap on the sand, alone.
男孩在沙滩上小睡中醒来，独自一人。
After the tragedy, the community adopted and raised him, and a few years after the death of his parents, he began to have a sense of objects, even when they weren't visible.
悲剧发生后，社区收养并抚养了他，在他父母去世几年后，他开始有了物体感，即使他们看不见。
This ability continued growing in power through his teens, and by his 20s, he was able to actually sniff out lost sunglasses, keys, contact lenses, and sweaters.
这种能力在他十几岁的时候不断增强，到了 20 多岁时，他能够真正嗅出丢失的太阳镜、钥匙、隐形眼镜和毛衣。
The neighbors discovered his talent accidentally.
邻居们无意中发现了他的才华。
He was over at Jenny Sugar's house one evening, picking her up for a date, when Jenny's mother misplaced her hairbrush and was walking around complaining about this.
一天晚上，他在珍妮·舒格家接她去约会，这时珍妮的妈妈把发刷放错了地方，并四处走动，抱怨这件事。
The young man's nose twitched, and he turned slightly towards the kitchen and pointed to the drawer where the spoons and knives were kept.
青年鼻子一抽，微微侧头看向厨房，指了指放勺子和刀子的抽屉。
His date burst into laughter.
他的约会对象突然大笑起来。
Now that would be quite a silly place to put the brush, she said, among all that silverware.
她说，现在把刷子放在所有银器中间是一个非常愚蠢的地方。
And she opened the drawer to make her point-- to wave with a knife or brush her hair with a spoon.
她打开抽屉来表达她的意思——用刀挥手或用勺子梳理头发。
But when she did, boom, there was the hairbrush, matted with gray curls, sitting on top of the fork pile.
但当她这样做时，“砰”的一声，叉子堆顶上出现了那把卷着灰色卷发的发刷。
Jenny's mother kissed the young man on the cheek, but Jenny herself looked at him suspiciously all night long.
珍妮的母亲亲吻了年轻人的脸颊，但珍妮自己却一整晚都怀疑地看着他。
You planned all that, didn't you, she said over dinner.
这一切都是你计划好的，不是吗，她在晚餐时说道。
You were trying to impress my mother.
你是想给我妈妈留下好印象
Well, you didn't impress me, she said.
好吧，你没有给我留下深刻的印象，她说。
He tried to explain himself, but she would hear none of it.
他试图解释自己，但她根本听不进去。
And when he drove his car up to her house, she fled before he could even finish saying he'd had a nice time, which was a lie, anyway.
当他开车到她家时，她还没来得及说完他玩得很开心，她就逃跑了，无论如何，这是一个谎言。
He went home to his tiny room and thought about the word "lonely," and how it sounded and looked so lonely, with those two Ls in it, each standing tall by itself.
他回到家，回到自己的小房间，想着“孤独”这个词，想着它的发音和看起来是多么孤独，里面有两个“L”，每个都独自高高地矗立着。
As news spread around the neighborhood about the young man's skills, people reacted in two ways.
当有关这个年轻人的技能的消息在附近传开时，人们有两种反应。
There were the deeply appreciative and the skeptics.
有深深的赞赏者和怀疑者。
The appreciative ones called up the young man regularly.
心怀感激的人们定期给这位年轻人打电话。
He'd stop by on his way to school, find their keys, and they'd give him a homemade muffin.
他会在去学校的路上顺道拜访他们，找到他们的钥匙，然后他们会给他一个自制的松饼。
The skeptics called him over, too, and watched him like a hawk.
怀疑论者也把他叫了过来，像鹰一样盯着他。
He'd still find their lost items, but they'd insist it was an elaborate scam and he was doing it all to get attention.
他仍然会找到他们丢失的物品，但他们坚称这是一个精心设计的骗局，而他所做的一切都是为了引起注意。
Maybe, declared one woman, waving her index finger in the air-- maybe, she said, he steals the thing so we think it's lost, moves the item, and then comes over to save it.
一位女士在空中挥舞着食指宣称，也许，她说，也许他偷了东西，所以我们认为它丢失了，移动了物品，然后过来救它。
How do we know it was really lost in the first place?
我们怎么知道它一开始就真的丢失了？
What is going on?
这是怎么回事？
The young man didn't know himself.
年轻人不认识自己。
All he knew was the feeling of a tug-- light, but insistent, like a child at his sleeve.
他所知道的只是一种拉扯的感觉——轻微，但持续，就像一个孩子在他的袖子里。
And that tug would turn him in the right direction and show him where to look.
那股拉力会让他转向正确的方向，并告诉他该往哪里看。
Each object had its own way of inhabiting space, and therefore messaging its location.
每个物体都有自己的居住空间方式，从而传递其位置信息。
The young man could sense, could smell an object's presence.
年轻人能感觉到、能闻到某种物体的存在。
He did not need to see it to feel where it put its gravity down.
他不需要看到它就能感觉到它的重力落在哪里。
As would be expected, items that turned out to be miles away took much harder concentration than the ones that were two feet to the left.
正如所预料的那样，距离几英里远的物体比左侧两英尺远的物体更难集中注意力。
When Mrs. Allen's little boy didn't come home one afternoon, that was the most difficult of all.
当艾伦太太的小男孩有一天下午没有回家时，那是最困难的一天。
Leonard Allen was eight years old and usually arrived home from school at 3:05.
伦纳德·艾伦 (Leonard Allen) 八岁，通常在 3 点 05 分放学回家。
He had allergies and needed a pill before he went back out to play.
他有过敏症，在出去打球之前需要吃药。
That day, by 3:45, alone, Mrs. Allen was a wreck.
那天，到了下午 3 点 45 分，艾伦夫人已经彻底崩溃了。
Her boy rarely got lost.
她的儿子很少迷路。
Only once had that happened, in the supermarket, but he'd been found quite easily under the produce tables, crying.
这种事只发生过一次，在超市，但很容易被发现他在农产品桌下哭泣。
The walk home from school was a straight line and Leonard was not the wandering kind.
从学校回家是一条直线，伦纳德不是那种徘徊的人。
Mrs. Allen was just a regular neighbor, except for one extraordinary fact.
除了一件非同寻常的事情之外，艾伦夫人只是一位普通邻居。
Through an inheritance, she was the owner of a gargantuan emerald she called the green star.
通过继承，她拥有了一颗巨大的祖母绿，她称之为绿星。
It sat, glasscased in her kitchen where everyone could see it, because she insisted that it be seen.
它被放在她厨房的玻璃柜里，每个人都可以看到它，因为她坚持要让人们看到它。
Sometimes, as a party trick, she'd even cut steak with its beveled edge.
有时，作为派对上的把戏，她甚至会用斜边切牛排。
On this day, she took the green star out of its case and stuck her palms on it.
这一天，她将那颗绿色的星星从盒子里拿出来，将手掌贴在上面。
Where is my boy, she cried.
“我的孩子在哪里？”她哭道。
The green star was cold and flat.
绿色的星星冰冷而扁平。
She ran, weeping, to her neighbor, who calmly walked her back home.
她哭着跑到邻居那里，邻居平静地送她回家。
Together, they gave the house a thorough search, and then the neighbor, a believer, recommended calling the young man.
他们一起彻底搜查了房子，然后邻居，一位信徒，建议给年轻人打电话。
Although Mrs. Allen was a skeptic, she thought anything was a worthwhile idea, and when the phone answered, she said in a trembling voice, you must find my boy.
艾伦夫人虽然持怀疑态度，但她认为任何事情都是值得的，当电话接通时，她用颤抖的声音说，你一定要找到我的男孩。
The young man had been just about to go play basketball with his friends.
这个年轻人正准备和他的朋友们去打篮球。
He'd located the basketball in the bath tub.
他在浴缸里找到了篮球。
You lost him, said the young man.
你失去了他，年轻人说。
Mrs. Allen began to explain, and then her phone clicked.
艾伦夫人开始解释，然后她的手机响了。
One moment please, she said, and the young man held on.
请稍等一下，她说，年轻人坚持了下来。
When her voice returned, it was shaking with rage.
当她的声音再次响起时，她的声音因愤怒而颤抖。
He's been kidnapped, she said.
她说，他被绑架了。
They want the green star.
他们想要绿星。
The young man realized then that it was Mrs. Allen he was talking to and nodded.
年轻人这才意识到正在和他说话的是艾伦夫人，于是点了点头。
Oh, he said.
哦，他说。
I see.
我懂了。
Everyone in town was familiar with Mrs. Allen's green star.
镇上的每个人都熟悉艾伦夫人的绿星。
I'll be right over, he said.
我马上就过去，他说。
The woman's voice was too run with tears to respond.
女人的声音里充满了泪水，无法回应。
In his basketball shorts and shirt, the young man jogged over to Mrs. Allen's house.
年轻人穿着篮球短裤和衬衫，慢跑到艾伦夫人家。
He was amazed at how the green star was all exactly the same shade of green.
他很惊讶那颗绿色的星星竟然是完全相同的绿色。
He had a desire to lick it.
他有一种想舔它的欲望。
By then, Mrs. Allen was in hysterics.
那时，艾伦夫人已经歇斯底里了。
They didn't tell me what to do, she sobbed.
他们没有告诉我该怎么做，她抽泣着。
Where do I bring my emerald?
我该把祖母绿带到哪里？
How do I get my boy back?
我怎样才能让我的男孩回来？
The young man tried to feel the scent of the boy.
年轻人试图感受男孩的气味。
He asked for a photograph and stared at it-- a brown-haired kid at his kindergarten graduation.
他要了一张照片，凝视着照片——一个棕色头发的孩子在幼儿园毕业典礼上。
But the young man had only found objects before, and lost objects at that.
但年轻人之前只发现过东西，然后就失去了东西。
He'd never found anything or anybody stolen.
他从未发现任何东西或任何人被盗。
He wasn't a policeman.
他不是警察。
Mrs. Allen called the police, and one officer showed up at the door.
艾伦夫人报了警，一名警官出现在门口。
Oh, it's the finding guy, the officer said.
噢，是负责寻找的人，警官说。
The young man dipped his head modestly.
年轻人谦虚地低下了头。
He turned to his right, to his left, north, south.
他向右转，向左转，向北，向南。
He got a glimmer of a feeling towards the north and walked out the back door through the back yard.
他心中隐隐有一丝向北的感觉，便从后门穿过后院走了出去。
Night approached, and the sky seemed to grow and deepen in the darkness.
夜幕降临，天空似乎在黑暗中变得越来越深。
What's his name again, he called back to Mrs. Allen.
“再说一遍，他叫什么名字？”他回电话给艾伦太太。
Leonard, she said.
伦纳德，她说。
He heard the policeman pull out a pad and begin to ask basic questions.
他听到警察拿出一本便笺簿，开始问一些基本问题。
He couldn't quite feel him.
他不太能感觉到他。
He felt the air, and he felt the tug inside the green star, an object displaced from its original home in Asia.
他感觉到了空气，也感觉到了绿色星星内部的拉力，这个物体离开了它原来在亚洲的家。
He felt the tug of a tree in the front yard, which had been uprooted from Virginia to be replanted here.
他感觉到前院一棵树被拉扯，这棵树是从弗吉尼亚连根拔起，重新栽种在这里的。
And he felt the tug of his own watch, which was from his uncle.
他感觉到自己的手表被拉了一下，那是他叔叔送的。
In an attempt to be fatherly, his uncle had insisted he take it, but they both knew the gesture was false.
为了表现出父亲的慈爱，他的叔叔坚持让他接受，但他们都知道这个举动是错误的。
Maybe the boy was too far away by now.
也许男孩现在已经离得太远了。
He heard the policeman ask, what is he wearing?
他听到警察问，他穿什么？
Mrs. Allen described a blue shirt, and the young man focused in on the blue shirt.
艾伦夫人描述了一件蓝色衬衫，年轻人把注意力集中在蓝色衬衫上。
He turned off his distractions, and the blue shirt came calling from the northwest like a distant radio station.
他关掉杂念，蓝色衬衫像遥远的广播电台一样从西北方向传来呼唤声。
The young man went walking and walking, and about 14 houses down, he felt the blue shirt shrieking at him.
年轻人一直走啊走，大约走了14栋房子，他感觉到那件蓝色衬衫在向他尖叫。
And he walked right into the back yard, right through the back door, and sure enough, there were four people watching TV, including the tear-stained boy with a runny nose eating a candy bar.
他径直走进后院，从后门进去，果然有四个人在看电视，其中就包括那个流着泪、吃着棒棒糖的男孩。
The young man scooped up the boy while the others watched, so surprised, they did nothing.
年轻人抱起男孩，其他人则惊讶地看着，但什么也没做。
And one even muttered, sorry, man.
有人甚至嘀咕道，对不起，伙计。
For 14 houses back, the young man held Leonard in his arms like a bride.
回到14栋，年轻人像新娘一样将伦纳德抱在怀里。
Leonard stopped sneezing and looked up at the stars, and the young man smelled Leonard's hair, rich with the memory of peanut butter.
伦纳德停止了喷嚏，抬头仰望星空，年轻人闻到了伦纳德头发上的味道，富含花生酱的记忆。
He hoped Leonard would ask him a question-- any question.
他希望伦纳德能问他一个问题——任何问题。
But Leonard was quiet.
但伦纳德却很安静。
The young man answered in his head.
年轻人在心里回答道。
Son, he said to himself, and the word rolled around, a marble on a marble floor.
儿子，他对自己说，这个词滚滚而来，就像大理石地板上的大理石一样。
Son, he wanted to say.
儿子，他想说。
When he reached Mrs. Allen's door, which was wide open, he walked in with quiet Leonard, and Mrs. Allen promptly burst into tears, and the policeman slunk out the door.
当他到达艾伦夫人的门时，门敞开着，他带着安静的伦纳德走进来，艾伦夫人立即泪流满面，警察则偷偷溜出了门。
She thanked the young man 1,000 times, even offered him the green star, but he refused it.
她向这个年轻人说了一千遍感谢，甚至向他赠送了绿星，但他拒绝了。
Leonard turned on the TV and curled up on the sofa.
伦纳德打开电视，蜷缩在沙发上。
The young man walked over and asked him about the program he was watching, but Leonard stuck his thumb in his mouth and didn't respond.
年轻人走过去询问他正在看的节目，伦纳德却将拇指放在嘴里，没有回应。
Feel better, he said softly.
感觉好多了，他轻声说道。
Tucking the basketball beneath his arm, the young man walked home, shoulders low.
年轻人把篮球夹在腋下，低着肩膀走回家。
In his tiny room, he undressed and lay in bed.
在狭小的房间里，他脱掉衣服，躺在床上。
Had it been a naked child with nothing on-- no shoes, no necklace, no hair bow, no watch-- he could not have found it.
如果这是一个赤身裸体的孩子，什么也没穿——没有鞋子，没有项链，没有发饰，没有手表——他就不可能找到它。
He lay in bed that night with the trees from other places rustling, and he could feel their confusion.
那天晚上，他躺在床上，外面的树木沙沙作响，他能感觉到它们的困惑。
No snow here.
这里没有雪。
Not a lot of rain.
雨不是很大。
Where am I?
我在哪里？
What is wrong with this dirt?
这污垢有什么问题吗？
Crossing his hands in front of him, he held onto his shoulders.
他双手交叉在身前，抓住了他的肩膀。
Concentrate hard, he thought.
集中精神，他想。
Where are you?
你在哪里？
Everything felt blank and quiet.
一切都显得空白而安静。
He couldn't feel a tug.
他感觉不到拉力。
He squeezed his eyes shut and let the question bubble up.
他闭上眼睛，让问题浮出水面。
Where did you go?
你去哪儿？
Come find me.
来找我吧。
I'm over here.
我在这儿。
Come find me.
来找我吧。
If he listened hard enough, he thought he could hear the waves hitting.
如果他仔细听的话，他想他能听到海浪拍击的声音。
Aimee Bender's short story is called Loser.
艾米·本德的短篇小说名为《失败者》。
It's from her collection of short fiction called The Girl in the Flammable Skirt.
这是她的短篇小说集《穿易燃裙子的女孩》的一部分。
It was read for us by Matt Molloy.
马特·莫洛伊为我们朗读了这本书。
Coming up-- what does it mean when you get out of prison, kick your drug habit, return to the scene of your crimes, and little kids make fun of you?
接下来——当你出狱、戒除毒瘾、回到犯罪现场、而小孩子取笑你时，这意味着什么？
Kindergarten con in a minute on Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续时，芝加哥公共广播电台将播放幼儿园节目。
This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
这个美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's show-- crime scenes and the stories they tell.
今天的节目——犯罪现场和他们讲述的故事。
So today's episode first aired years ago, but in putting together the rerun, we all realized here we did actually have a question about crime scenes that comes from stuff that's been in the news recently.
所以今天的剧集几年前首次播出，但在重播时，我们都意识到我们确实对最近新闻中出现的犯罪现场有一个疑问。
I am Bennet Omalu.
我是班尼特·奥马鲁。
I'm a forensic pathologist and neuropathologist.
我是一名法医病理学家和神经病理学家。
After Stephon Clark was shot by Sacramento police back in March, the county coroner did the official autopsy for the state.
三月份斯蒂芬·克拉克被萨克拉门托警方枪杀后，县验尸官为该州进行了官方尸检。
But the family also hired a well-known forensic pathologist named Bennet Omalu to do an autopsy for them.
但家人还聘请了一位名叫班尼特·奥马鲁的著名法医病理学家为他们进行尸检。
He announced his findings at this press conference.
他在这次新闻发布会上宣布了他的发现。
If you remember that case, Stephon Clark was unarmed, 22 years old, shot by police multiple times.
如果你还记得那起案件，史蒂芬·克拉克 (Stephon Clark) 22 岁，手无寸铁，多次被警察开枪射击。
Dr. Omalu's analysis came out before the county coroner's, and he was definitive about a number of things.
奥马鲁博士的分析在县验尸官之前公布，他对很多事情都是明确的。
There were a total of eight gunshot wounds, meaning that he was hit by eight bullets.
总共有八处枪伤，也就是说他是被八颗子弹击中的。
The first shot, Omalu said, hit Stephon Clark in the side and then spun him around so his back was to the officers.
奥马鲁说，第一枪击中了斯蒂芬·克拉克的侧面，然后把他转了过来，背对着警察。
Then six of the eight shots were to his back.
然后八枪中有六枪打在他的背后。
That is a different story than the police had told.
这与警方讲述的故事不同。
Police had said he was advancing towards them when they fired.
警方称，当他们开枪时，他正在向他们走来。
So the proposition that has been presented that he was assailing the officers is inconsistent with the prevailing forensic evidence.
因此，关于他袭击警察的说法与现行的法医证据不一致。
Weeks later, the county released its report.
几周后，该县发布了报告。
It was different from Dr. Omalu's report in some significant ways.
它在某些重要方面与奥马鲁博士的报告不同。
First, it said there were seven bullets, not eight.
首先，它说有七颗子弹，而不是八颗。
It said only three shots were to the back, not six.
据说后面只有三枪，而不是六枪。
And as for the first shot, the county said it was probably to his thigh and that Clark probably was walking towards the officers when it happened.
至于第一枪，县政府表示可能是打在他的大腿上，而且克拉克发生时可能正在走向警察。
And we wondered here at our show how could something so basic be in dispute?
我们想知道，在我们的展会上，如此基本的东西怎么会引起争议呢？
The number of shots, whether they entered from the back or from the front, does that indicate that one of the autopsies was deliberately spinning the results?
枪击的数量，无论是从后面还是从前面进入，是否表明其中一项尸检故意扭曲了结果？
Or are these actual, honest scientists simply disagreeing about the evidence that's in front of them?
或者这些真实、诚实的科学家只是不同意他们面前的证据？
Well, I asked Dr. Judy Melinek, a veteran forensic pathologist who does autopsies in San Francisco, and she said these kinds of discrepancies happen all the time when there are two autopsies of the same person.
好吧，我问了在旧金山进行尸检的资深法医病理学家 Judy Melinek 博士，她说，当对同一个人进行两次尸检时，这种差异总是会发生。
She said in these kinds of cases, the official autopsy-- the coroner's office-- usually happens first, and then the family gets to do their autopsy after that.
她说，在这种情况下，官方尸检——验尸官办公室——通常会先进行，然后家属才能进行尸检。
That's true, even though the family usually goes public with their results first, as happened in this case.
确实如此，尽管家人通常会先公开他们的结果，就像本案中所发生的那样。
So Dr. Melinek says, picture, OK, two autopsies by two doctors.
梅利内克医生说，图片，好吧，两名医生进行的两次尸检。
The first autopsy done by the coroner's office alters the body and changes the evidence.
验尸官办公室进行的第一次尸检改变了尸体并改变了证据。
So it makes it a lot more difficult for the second pathologist.
所以这让第二位病理学家的工作变得更加困难。
When the second pathologist gets the body, it's already been washed clean, so it doesn't have any bloodstains or trace residue.
当第二位病理学家拿到尸体时，尸体已经被清洗干净，所以没有任何血迹或痕迹残留。
The first pathologist has already cut open the body, has already removed the bullets.
第一个病理学家已经剖开尸体，取出子弹。
So when Dr. Omalu got the body, he didn't have the bullets anymore.
所以当奥马鲁博士拿到尸体时，他已经没有子弹了。
They had been taken out by the first autopsy, and he didn't have access to the x-rays of the body from the first autopsy.
它们在第一次尸检时就被取出来了，而他无法获得第一次尸检时尸体的X光片。
Which would have shown him where the bullets had been.
这样他就能知道子弹所在的位置。
He also didn't have the organs in their proper orientation in the body.
他体内的器官也没有处于正确的位置。
The organs had been taken out by the previous autopsy pathologist and sliced up to identify the wound tracks, and then put in a plastic bag inside the body cavity.
这些器官已被之前的尸检病理学家取出并切片以识别伤口痕迹，然后放入体腔内的塑料袋中。
So the first pathologist has that advantage because they got the body pristine, and it wasn't altered.
所以第一位病理学家有这个优势，因为他们得到了原始的身体，并且没有被改变。
In this way, Dr. Melinek says, there could be lots of disagreement, and it could be honest disagreement between pathologists.
梅利内克博士说，通过这种方式，可能会出现很多分歧，而且病理学家之间可能存在诚实的分歧。
They are people looking at different sets of data, so they come to different conclusions.
他们是查看不同数据集的人，因此得出不同的结论。
And with that, we have arrived at Act 3 of our program.
至此，我们进入了计划的第三幕。
Act 3-- Return to the Scene of the Crime.
第三幕——返回犯罪现场。
You know, there's this truism in detective fiction that a criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
你知道，侦探小说中有这样一条不言而喻的道理：罪犯总是会回到犯罪现场。
It turns out, in real life, that actually is not very common at all, except among arsonists.
事实证明，在现实生活中，除了纵火犯之外，这种情况实际上并不常见。
Arsonists apparently like to see the fires they've set, and then some of them are actually caught when police look at pictures taken of crowds at fires.
纵火犯显然喜欢看到他们放的火，当警察查看火灾中人群的照片时，其中一些人实际上被抓获。
And then-- OK, maybe this is rare, maybe not; nobody really keeps track of this kind of thing-- there are the people who circle back to the scene of the crimes to undo, to erase something, or at least to promise that it's never going to happen again.
然后——好吧，也许这种情况很少见，也许不是；没有人真正跟踪这种事情——有些人会回到犯罪现场来撤销、抹去某些东西，或者至少保证这样的事情永远不会再发生。
Katie Davis discovered that one of her own neighbors in Washington, DC, an old friend of hers, was trying to do just that.
凯蒂·戴维斯发现，她在华盛顿特区的一位邻居、她的老朋友正试图这样做。
Bobby comes up my street one afternoon in March.
三月的一个下午，鲍比来到我家的街道上。
I haven't seen him in a few months, and he's kind of gliding along, smoking a Marlboro.
我已经几个月没见到他了，他抽着万宝路，一路走来。
That's the way he's carried himself since sixth grade, when I first met him-- one of the bad boys from over on Calvert Street.
从六年级我第一次见到他时起，他就是这样的——卡尔弗特街上的坏男孩之一。
Bobby tells me he's going to coach a Little League team with some neighborhood kids.
鲍比告诉我他将和一些邻居的孩子一起执教一支少年棒球联盟球队。
Great, I say from up on my porch.
太好了，我在门廊上说道。
Inside, I'm thinking, who's he kidding?
我心里在想，他在跟谁开玩笑呢？
He's rail thin.
他很瘦。
He's sweating.
他出汗了。
It looks like he's been using all winter.
看起来他整个冬天都在使用。
Bobby flicks his burning cigarette into the street and watches me, waiting for more reaction.
鲍比将燃烧着的香烟弹到街上，看着我，等待更多的反应。
This is the same Bobby I loved and tried to save for a whole year.
这就是我爱着并努力拯救了整整一年的鲍比。
Bobby who sold $60 from my house to buy heroin and swore to God-- swore to his own dead daughter that my dog, Purdy, ate the money.
鲍比从我家卖了 60 美元来买海洛因，他向上帝发誓——向他死去的女儿发誓，我的狗珀迪吃了这些钱。
And this is his latest plan to get clean?
这就是他最近的洁身自好计划吗？
Coaching a bunch of 10, 11, and 12-year-olds rounded up by the DC Department of Recreation?
指导一群被华盛顿特区娱乐部围捕的 10 岁、11 岁和 12 岁的孩子？
All I can say is, that's great.
我只能说，那太好了。
A week later, Bobby's back, this time on my machine.
一周后，鲍比回来了，这次是在我的机器上。
Message one.
留言一.
Bobby Hey, how are you doing?
鲍比 嘿，你好吗？
Just calling to say hi.
只是打电话打个招呼。
When I get off, I'll probably walk Bailey.
当我下车时，我可能会步行贝利。
See if we can both run up and see if we can say hi to you.
看看我们能不能一起跑上去跟你打个招呼。
Katie, you've got to see this.
凯蒂，你一定要看看这个。
These thugs I got are unbelievable.
我遇到的这些暴徒令人难以置信。
One of them tried to spit on me yesterday at practice.
昨天训练时，其中一个人试图向我吐口水。
A couple of them, I don't think-- I don't think even I can handle.
其中有几个，我不认为——我想连我自己都应付不了。
It's like they're too much of a disruption, you know?
他们的干扰太大了，你知道吗？
[BEEP] Katie Davis My machine cuts him off, but now I know Bobby's clean because if he were still using heroin, nothing could puncture his detached haze.
[嘟嘟] 凯蒂·戴维斯 我的机器切断了他的联系，但现在我知道鲍比是干净的，因为如果他仍在吸食海洛因，没有什么可以刺破他疏离的阴霾。
He's sounding awake and rattled.
他听起来很清醒，而且很慌乱。
Bobby, who spent 2 and 1/2 years in Lorton Prison on assault and possession charges, rattled by a bunch of kids at their first baseball practice.
鲍比因袭击和占有罪名在洛顿监狱服刑 2 又 1/2 年，在第一次棒球训练时，他被一群孩子惊呆了。
First day was just crazy.
第一天简直太疯狂了。
Bobby We went to Harrison Playground between 13th and 14th on V Street, and that's a rough neighborhood.
鲍比：我们去了 V 街 13 号和 14 号之间的哈里森游乐场，那是一个简陋的街区。
And as soon as we got on the field, my kids started to act up right away-- right away-- and I think they were afraid.
我们一上场，我的孩子们就开始表现得马上——马上——我想他们很害怕。
I was a little afraid.
我有点害怕。
OK, he was like picking who was going be right field or whatever, but then everybody was just yelling at each other and jumping on each other.
好吧，他就像是在挑选谁是正确的外野之类的，但随后每个人都只是互相大喊大叫，互相攻击。
I tried to get them to chill, to relax and play ball, focus on the game.
我试图让他们冷静下来，放松下来，打球，专注于比赛。
They started cursing me-- a few of them-- cursing me and cursing each other.
他们开始咒骂我——其中有几个人——咒骂我并互相咒骂。
One kid spit at me.
一个孩子向我吐口水。
And he got mad and said practice was over.
他生气了，说练习结束了。
And I cursed them, and I told them I didn't-- they didn't [BLEEP] impress me.
我咒骂他们，我告诉他们我没有——他们没有[哔]给我留下深刻的印象。
Before they were born, I was in the penitentiary, you know, so if they're trying to act like they're bad, they're not impressing me.
在他们出生之前，我在监狱里，你知道，所以如果他们试图表现得像坏人，他们不会给我留下深刻的印象。
And right when I did that, I felt in my gut that I had just screwed up.
当我这么做的时候，我内心深处觉得我搞砸了。
I felt right then that, you know what?
我当时就有这样的感觉，你知道吗？
You just laid all of your cards on the table.
你刚刚把所有的牌都摊在了桌子上。
You don't have a whole card anymore.
你已经没有完整的卡了。
Now they know you.
现在他们认识你了。
Then Shannon said maybe he got pumped in the butt by lots of men.
然后香农说也许他被很多男人抽屁股了。
That's when everybody was laughing.
这时候大家都笑了。
One kid says, well, while you were in prison, were you getting humped?
一个孩子说，好吧，当你在监狱里的时候，你被驼背了吗？
And then I knew I had screwed up.
然后我知道我搞砸了。
I said, no, that didn't happen to me.
我说，不，这没有发生在我身上。
Another one said, oh, because you were the humper, right?
另一个人说，哦，因为你是骗子，对吧？
Three days later, they hold a second practice, this time at a field in our neighborhood.
三天后，他们举行了第二次训练，这次是在我们附近的一块场地上。
Bobby's back for more salvation through Little League.
鲍比回来了，希望通过少年棒球联盟获得更多拯救。
Shut the for I smack the shit out of you.
闭嘴，因为我把你打得屁滚尿流。
Do it.
做吧。
Katie Davis What's your strategy?
凯蒂·戴维斯 你的策略是什么？
Or do you-- maybe you're formulating it?
或者你——也许你正在制定它？
I'm formulating it, but my strategy, short term, is to-- my strategy is to remember I'm the adult.
我正在制定它，但我的短期策略是——我的策略是记住我是成年人。
Break!
休息！
Good stick!
好棍子！
Go, go, go, go!
走，走，走，走！
Run it out.
运行它。
He might fall.
他可能会摔倒。
He might break his ankle.
他可能会摔断脚踝。
All right.
好的。
Good stick.
好棍子。
Good hustle.
好热闹。
Hey, every first baseman don't play as good as him.
嘿，每个一垒手都打得不如他。
The second practice is going a lot better.
第二次练习进展得好多了。
The only tantrums being thrown are by the kids.
唯一发脾气的是孩子们。
Bobby stands by the backstop in our park, pushing away a locust sapling that's grown up through the fence.
鲍比站在我们公园的护栏旁，推开从栅栏外长出来的一棵槐树苗。
There are no bases and only a warped piece of rubber for the pitcher's mound.
投手丘没有底座，只有一块扭曲的橡胶。
That's how it goes around here.
这里就是这样的。
Anyone with any money drives their kids to the wealthier neighborhoods to play, leaving this misshapen field for Bobby's team.
任何有钱的人都会开车带孩子去较富裕的社区玩耍，把这个畸形的场地留给了鲍比的团队。
Come on, man.
来吧，伙计。
I'm not going to tell you where it's going, but I want you to bring it home when it comes to you.
我不会告诉你它要去哪里，但我希望你在需要时把它带回家。
Wake up!
醒醒吧！
Wake up.
醒来吧。
That's what I'm saying, see.
这就是我要说的，看吧。
The guy in the game, the batter's not going to tell you where the ball is going, guys.
比赛中的那个人，击球手不会告诉你球的去向，伙计们。
Talent level-- Bad News Bears.
天赋等级——坏消息熊。
They're horrible, as far as talent.
就天赋而言，他们是可怕的。
I think they're wonderful kids, and I'm not going to give up on them.
我认为他们是很棒的孩子，我不会放弃他们。
But God, man.
但是上帝啊，伙计。
They can't throw a ball, they can't catch a ball, they can't hit a ball, and they've never learned.
他们不会投球，他们不会接球，他们不会击球，他们从来没有学过。
No one's ever taught them.
从来没有人教过他们。
Ah, OK.
啊，好吧。
You've got good stop, good throw.
你停得很好，投得也很好。
That's the way to play, fella.
这就是玩的方式，伙计。
That's the way to play.
这就是玩的方式。
You think it's coming your way?
你认为它会如你所愿吗？
I'm back in the field and got a new ball.
我回到球场并得到了一个新球。
Heads, heads up.
抬头，抬头。
Katie Davis The third practice starts around 5 o'clock on a humid April afternoon.
凯蒂·戴维斯 (Katie Davis) 第三次训练于四月潮湿的下午 5 点左右开始。
Kids are scattered around the field, squatting down, twirling their gloves.
孩子们分散在操场周围，蹲下来转动手套。
Joey is throwing rocks at his brother.
乔伊正在向他的兄弟扔石头。
Joey is always throwing rocks.
乔伊总是扔石头。
Benjamin thinks he should be pitching.
本杰明认为他应该投球。
Bobby tells him to stay right where he is and keep catching.
鲍比告诉他留在原地并继续接球。
That's what I'm talking about right there.
这就是我正在谈论的。
Come on, Benjamin.
来吧，本杰明。
Get that thing, man.
得到那个东西，伙计。
Get that ball.
得到那个球。
You know.
你知道。
Bobby Get in front of that ball.
鲍比 走到那个球前面。
Oh, you didn't know.
哦，你不知道。
Bobby I do know.
鲍比，我知道。
You need to learn.
你需要学习。
Get in front of that ball.
走到那个球前面。
Bring it home.
把它带回家。
After a half hour, things start to spin out of control.
半小时后，事情开始失控。
Benjamin, the most volatile of the kids, throws a rock at Joey.
本杰明是孩子们中情绪最不稳定的一个，他向乔伊扔石头。
Bobby tells him to run a lap.
鲍比让他跑一圈。
You must be tripping, says Benjamin.
你一定是绊倒了，本杰明说。
I might be tripping, but you need to be lapping, says Bobby.
“我可能会绊倒，但你需要拍拍，”鲍比说。
You going to make me run a lap, and I ain't even throw nothing.
你要让我跑一圈，而我什么也不会扔。
Maybe you need exercise.
也许你需要锻炼。
Bobby Benjamin-- he's my favorite because I just see me more so than any other child on that team.
鲍比·本杰明——他是我最喜欢的，因为我比队里的其他孩子更能看到我。
I don't know what his home life is like, but from what I can see, he's emotional, and when he feels cheated or done wrong, he reacts exactly like I always reacted-- violently, verbally with the violence.
我不知道他的家庭生活是什么样的，但从我看来，他很情绪化，当他感到被欺骗或被冤枉时，他的反应和我一贯的反应一模一样——暴力，言语上的暴力。
And he just goes off-- and fuck you and fuck the team and-- well, that's me.
然后他就走了——操你，操球队，然后——好吧，那就是我。
That was me, and in ways, it still is.
那就是我，从某种程度上来说，现在仍然如此。
When I get my feelings hurt, I don't always say, well, you really hurt my feelings.
当我的感情受到伤害时，我并不总是说，好吧，你真的伤害了我的感情。
I say fuck you, motherfucker.
我说去你妈的，混蛋。
And you know what I do?
你知道我做什么吗？
What I've done for a lot of years is I would hurt myself because someone hurt me.
多年来我所做的就是因为有人伤害我而我会伤害自己。
Well, Benjamin does that at practice.
嗯，本杰明在练习中就是这么做的。
No, man, he always getting up on my nerves.
不，伙计，他总是让我心烦意乱。
Shit.
拉屎。
Getting on everybody's nerves.
搞得大家心烦意乱。
Bobby finally asked Benjamin to go home and come back next practice.
鲍比最后让本杰明回家，下次训练再回来。
Instead, Benjamin stands over my microphone and starts calling the game as he says it.
相反，本杰明站在我的麦克风前，一边说一边开始宣布比赛。
Who are you talking about?
你在说谁？
Benjamin The coach!
本杰明教练！
He always-- he pressed, oh, I've been in the penitentiary.
他总是——他追问，哦，我已经进过监狱了。
I know all this stuff.
我知道所有这些事情。
Man, bump all that, man.
伙计，打破这一切，伙计。
Bobby pauses as Benjamin mimics him, then throws the ball up and cracks it to the outfield.
博比停了下来，本杰明模仿他，然后把球扔到外场。
A few minutes later, Benjamin finally does a lap, but he walks it.
几分钟后，本杰明终于跑了一圈，但他是步行的。
Watch the hop.
观察跳跃。
You've still got him.
你还拥有他。
Good throw now, Monty.
现在投得好，蒙蒂。
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢，谢谢。
When he has these kids' ages, Bobby ran wild at night, taking money, stealing bikes.
当他有了这些孩子的年龄时，鲍比在晚上疯狂地跑，抢钱，偷自行车。
Most kids were afraid of him, but he never messed with me and my brothers.
大多数孩子都害怕他，但他从不惹我和我的兄弟们。
I even remember Bobby and his sister eating with us a couple of times because his mom never made dinner.
我什至记得鲍比和他的妹妹和我们一起吃饭过几次，因为他妈妈从来不做饭。
When Bobby was 13, his mother caught him stealing change out of her purse and kicked him out of the house.
鲍比 13 岁时，他的母亲发现他从钱包里偷零钱，并将他赶出了家门。
The only place Bobby knew to go was right here to this field, where he now coaches baseball.
鲍比唯一知道要去的地方就是这个球场，他现在在那里担任棒球教练。
It used to be an abandoned lot full of old cars and refrigerators.
这里曾经是一片废弃的土地，堆满了旧汽车和冰箱。
Here in the left outfield, where Joey is pacing and muttering because Bobby told him to quit looking for a fight-- right here, there used to be a white '69 Ford Falcon.
在左外场，乔伊正在踱步，嘟囔着，因为鲍比告诉他不要再打架了——这里曾经有一辆白色的 69 年福特猎鹰。
That's where Bobby went when his mother threw him out.
当鲍比的母亲把他赶出去时，他就去了那里。
I spray painted all the windows black so no one could see in, and I would shoplift food from the corner store-- the Maddie's delicatessen, neighborhood deli.
我把所有窗户都喷成黑色，这样没人能看到里面，我还会从街角的商店——麦迪熟食店、附近的熟食店偷食物。
Stuff like Vienna sausages and a bottle of wine to go to sleep with at night and sardines.
像维也纳香肠和一瓶晚上睡觉时喝的酒和沙丁鱼之类的东西。
And that was dinner.
那就是晚餐。
Bobby says that alcohol helped him feel less afraid late at night in that old Ford.
鲍比说，酒精帮助他在深夜驾驶那辆旧福特车时不再感到害怕。
Soon, he found pot, then PCP.
很快，他找到了大麻，然后是PCP。
In his 20s, he started shooting heroin.
20多岁时，他开始吸食海洛因。
Sorry, you little, big-headed, little kid.
对不起，你这个大脑袋的小孩子。
Like a whole bunch of little leprechauns running around.
就像一群小妖精到处乱跑。
Trash is talked at every practice, and Bobby is teased relentlessly for wearing Payless shoes, which the kids would never be caught dead in.
每次训练时都会说垃圾话，鲍比因为穿着无薪鞋而受到无情的嘲笑，而孩子们永远不会被困在其中。
Brandon, the 8-year-old, calls Bobby powdered donut because he's white, and he likes to lean into Bobby and whisper, punk.
8 岁的布兰登称鲍比为粉甜甜圈，因为他是白人，他喜欢靠在鲍比身上低声说“朋克”。
Mostly, Bobby laughs.
大多数时候，鲍比都会笑。
Other times, though, especially when the kids start in on each other, it can get to him.
但其他时候，尤其是当孩子们开始互相攻击时，他可能会受到影响。
Fellas, fellas, I can't talk if you're talking.
伙计们，伙计们，如果你们在说话，我就没法说话了。
I'm about ready to put the gloves in the bag and go home.
我正准备把手套放进包里回家。
Give me this stuff.
把这个东西给我。
Let me roll.
让我滚吧
That's yours, right?
那是你的，对吧？
No, man.
不，伙计。
No, man.
不，伙计。
Bobby I'm serious.
鲍比，我是认真的。
Well, shut up.
好吧，闭嘴。
Everybody shut up, please.
请大家闭嘴。
Bobby picks up the bat bag and slams it against the brick wall.
鲍比拿起蝙蝠袋，猛地撞在砖墙上。
[BANGING] Bobby Chill, OK?
[砰砰]鲍比冷静，好吗？
Chill.
寒意。
I can't talk if you're all talking.
如果你们都在说话，我就无法说话。
OK, look here.
好的，看这里。
I'm sorry--
对不起——
Somewhere around the third or fourth practice, without announcing it in any way, the boys start calling Bobby "coach." Coach, can you fix this glove?
在第三或第四次训练的某个时候，男孩们在没有以任何方式宣布的情况下开始称鲍比为“教练”。教练，你能修理一下这只手套吗？
Coach, which bat should I use?
教练，我应该用哪支球棒？
What's it like when the kids call you Coach?
当孩子们叫你教练时，感觉如何？
You know, I had no-- it didn't really hit me at first, you know?
你知道，我一开始并没有真正受到打击，你知道吗？
I took them to a picnic a couple of weekends ago that some recovering alcoholic and addict friends of mine threw.
几个周末前，我带他们去野餐，那是我的一些正在康复的酗酒者和瘾君子朋友举办的。
And to hear people there-- hey, Bobby, hey, Bobby, and then to hear this group of kids that I came with-- hey, Coach, hey, Coach.
听到那里的人们——嘿，鲍比，嘿，鲍比，然后听到我和我一起来的这群孩子——嘿，教练，嘿，教练。
That's when it sort of hit me that, hey, man, that's who you are.
就在那时，我突然意识到，嘿，伙计，这就是你。
And these people now see me as Coach, not just Bobby, the recovering drug-- dope fiend.
这些人现在将我视为教练，而不仅仅是鲍比，那个正在康复的吸毒者。
He's Coach.
他是教练。
So that makes me feel good to have these kids call me Coach.
所以让这些孩子们叫我教练让我感觉很好。
So I don't know.
所以我不知道。
Now I have this little small part and shape in what their day is going to be like, you know?
现在我有了这个小小的部分和形状，他们的一天将会是什么样子，你知道吗？
When he told me that he had come from prison and he got shot in his neck, I thought he was just another one of them people who like to talk about their life and didn't get over it.
当他告诉我他刚从监狱出来，脖子中弹时，我以为他只是他们中又一个喜欢谈论自己生活却无法忘记的人。
But I learned to understand him.
但我学会了理解他。
How do you understand him?
你怎么理解他？
Boy He don't want no trouble.
男孩 他不想惹麻烦。
He just wants us to listen to him.
他只是想让我们听他的。
But I guess as you grow into people, you start to have more patience.
但我想，当你成长为人时，你就会开始变得更有耐心。
As you roll into people?
当你滚入人们之中时？
Boy Grow.
男孩成长。
Start to have more patience, and I think that's what's happening.
开始变得更有耐心，我想这就是正在发生的事情。
The Department of Recreation gives Bobby an ID badge, which he wears around his neck when he comes down to the neighborhood, like a sign.
娱乐部给了鲍比一枚身份徽章，当他来到附近时，他就把它戴在脖子上，就像一个标志。
I am no longer a dope fiend.
我不再是吸毒狂了
I'm doing something good.
我正在做一些好事。
Most people might keep it in their pocket.
大多数人可能会把它放在口袋里。
Bobby wears it right on his chest.
鲍比把它戴在胸前。
I just walk around with my head high and feeling proud for the most part, very proud of what I'm doing.
我只是昂首阔步地走来走去，大部分时间都感到自豪，对我所做的事情感到非常自豪。
The skeptics are everywhere, though-- neighbors who gave him advances for paint jobs he never did, people he stole bank cards from, people he actually spit on.
然而，怀疑论者无处不在——邻居为他预付了他从未做过的油漆工作，有人偷了他的银行卡，有人实际上被他吐口水。
What is that like for you to walk around in the neighborhood?
你在附近散步是什么感觉？
And you might even walk by somebody that you owe money to or conned money out of.
你甚至可能会走过一个欠你钱或骗钱的人。
It's hard to explain, really.
真的很难解释。
It's a roller coaster of emotions, you know?
这是情绪的过山车，你知道吗？
There's times-- and right when I'm feeling like the world is wonderful, when everything is going my way, I'll see someone that I had conned out of a few hundred bucks.
有时候，当我感觉世界很美好，一切都按我的意愿进行时，我会看到一个被我骗了几百美元的人。
And the voice in my head will immediately say, see there?
我脑子里的声音会立即说，看到了吗？
You're still a scumbag.
你还是个渣男。
Remember what-- look.
记住什么——看。
That's who you really are.
那才是真正的你。
So what do you do when you see that person?
那么当你看到那个人的时候你会怎么做呢？
It depends.
这取决于。
It depends on how I feel, and there's times when I might be feeling really insecure, and I'll put that macho thing up.
这取决于我的感受，有时我可能会感到非常不安全，我会把男子气概的东西提出来。
And I'll put the cocky thing up and hope they say something wrong to me, so that I can go south with my-- you know?
我会把自大的事情挂起来，希望他们对我说错话，这样我就可以和我的——你知道吗？
So--
所以——
Do you do that?
你这样做吗？
No, but I want to.
不，但我想要。
I want to.
我想要。
I mean, there's a part of me that still wants to be a thug, you know?
我的意思是，我的一部分仍然想成为一名暴徒，你知道吗？
There's a part of me still very capable of being a thug, you know?
我的一部分仍然很有可能成为一个暴徒，你知道吗？
I just wouldn't be able to be a real good thug with my hands because I'm older.
因为我年纪大了，我无法用我的双手成为一个真正的好暴徒。
I'd have to get a weapon now, you know?
我现在必须去拿武器，你知道吗？
It's early May, and after 10 practices, the kids are finally stepping into their uniforms at the local recreation center.
五月初，经过 10 次训练，孩子们终于在当地的娱乐中心穿上了队服。
This is the first new thing they've seen all season.
这是他们整个赛季看到的第一个新事物。
Their bats and gloves are splintered and old, but the uniforms are bright blue and gray-- Texas Ranger uniforms with red caps.
他们的球棒和手套都破烂不堪，而且很旧，但制服是亮蓝色和灰色的——戴着红色帽子的德克萨斯游骑兵制服。
Bobby is tanned and relaxed, dancing around, faking jabs, counting the kids to see if he can field the team.
鲍比被晒黑了，很放松，一边跳舞，一边假装刺拳，数着孩子们的数量，看看他是否能派出球队。
Never a sure thing.
从来都不是确定的事情。
Today, there are exactly nine boys-- the day of their first game against another team.
今天，正好有九个男孩——这是他们与另一支球队的第一场比赛的一天。
The recreation bus is an hour late to take the team to their game, so some of us go in a taxi-- six kids and I all squished together.
载着球队去看比赛的休闲巴士晚了一个小时，所以我们中的一些人乘坐出租车——我和六个孩子挤在一起。
Bobby and the others are hailing a cab when the bus finally shows up.
当公共汽车终于出现时，鲍比和其他人正在叫出租车。
We all pile out at what is supposedly the best Little League field in the city.
我们都聚集在据说是城里最好的少年棒球联盟球场上。
The grass is shin high, there's a pile of dirt in the outfield.
草高到小腿，外场有一堆泥土。
No fans, no parents-- just Bobby and the team.
没有球迷，没有父母——只有鲍比和他的团队。
They don't even have a field I can slide on.
他们甚至没有一个可以让我滑行的场地。
Hey, what time is it?
嘿，现在几点了？
Katie Davis 6:00, about five of 6:00.
凯蒂·戴维斯 6:00，大约 6:00 的五点。
Dang, man.
当当，伙计。
Benjamin Oh, the other team-- 4:50.
Benjamin Oh，另一队—— 4:50。
The other team never shows, so Bobby's team wins by default.
另一支球队从未出现，因此鲍比的球队默认获胜。
Some other kids are in the same boat, so there's an impromptu scrimmage.
其他一些孩子也有同样的情况，所以就发生了即兴的混战。
And official or not, this is the first baseball game that most of these kids have ever played.
无论是否正式，这都是大多数孩子第一次参加的棒球比赛。
They too dang small, man.
他们太小了，伙计。
We would tear them up.
我们会把它们撕碎。
Uh-huh, OK, we suck, shut up, uh-huh, OK.
嗯嗯，好吧，我们很烂，闭嘴，嗯嗯，好吧。
The other team is small, but very fast, and they have three coaches who tell them when to steal bases.
另一队规模虽小，但速度很快，他们有三位教练告诉他们何时盗垒。
So a line drive becomes a run, then another run, and another run, and it's 5-0.
所以一次直线进攻就变成了一次跑动，然后是另一次跑动，再一次跑动，最终比分是 5-0。
He stole home on y'all.
他偷偷带你们回家了。
Man Good play, good play, Carlos.
伙计，打得好，打得好，卡洛斯。
That's all right.
没关系。
We'll see what we need to work on today, instead of looking good in our uniforms.
我们会看看今天需要做什么，而不是穿制服好看。
Come on, let's get an out.
来吧，我们出去吧。
We got a force at second.
我们获得了第二名的力量。
Get the force at second.
获得第二个力量。
The season lurches forward with DC Recreation canceling games for no reason, never rescheduling rain outs.
随着 DC Recreation 无缘无故地取消比赛，并且从不重新安排下雨的比赛，赛季突然向前推进。
The uniforms are not washed for three weeks, and one day, no one shows up to let the boys in to suit up for a game, so they have to forfeit.
队服已经三周没有洗了，有一天，没有人出现让孩子们穿上比赛服，所以他们不得不放弃。
By June, Bobby's team has only played one real game, one game in four months.
到了六月，鲍比的球队只打了一场真正的比赛，四个月内一场比赛。
In this inconsistent world, Bobby is someone the kids can count on.
在这个不稳定的世界里，鲍比是孩子们可以信赖的人。
He never misses practice, coming in his painter's pants most days to hit the ball to them.
他从不错过训练，大部分时间都穿着画家的裤子来把球击向他们。
And while it might seem like Bobby's keeping the kids in line, he'll tell you that's what they're doing for him.
虽然看起来鲍比在让孩子们遵守规矩，但他会告诉你这就是他们为他做的事情。
I don't want to have to avoid my neighborhood.
我不想避开我的邻居。
I don't want to have to avoid my community playground because I let these kids down because I'm a drunken dope fiend fucking bum, which is what I become if I go have a beer right now or some dope right now.
我不想避开我的社区游乐场，因为我让这些孩子失望了，因为我是一个醉酒的毒品恶魔他妈的流浪汉，如果我现在去喝啤酒或喝点毒品，我就会变成这样。
Tomorrow, I'm a bum because all the good feelings are gone.
明天，我会变成一个流浪汉，因为所有美好的感觉都消失了。
I don't want to feel the shame, which I felt from relapses.
我不想因为旧病复发而感到羞耻。
And that's a big time shame.
这是一个很大的耻辱。
It's a shame.
这是一个耻辱。
I won't be able to look these kids in their eyes, in their faces.
我将无法看着这些孩子的眼睛和脸。
I'll duck them.
我会躲开他们。
God, I'm 42 years old, and I would have to come in my own neighborhood and duck children because I'm ashamed.
天哪，我已经 42 岁了，我不得不来到自己的邻居家，鸭子孩子们，因为我感到羞耻。
I don't want that.
我不想要这样。
Throw that smoke.
把那烟扔掉。
Throw that smoke.
把那烟扔掉。
Throw that smoke.
把那烟扔掉。
You're the man out there.
你就是那个人。
You're the man.
你就是那个男人。
By June, Bobby's team gets its first win with some great pitching from Donald and a catch by Ricardo in the third inning that looks more like a football interception.
到了六月，鲍比的球队凭借唐纳德的出色投球和里卡多在第三局的接球（看起来更像是足球拦截）赢得了第一场胜利。
Oh, yeah!
哦，是啊！
Woo!
哇！
Yeah!
是的！
Oh, man!
哦，伙计！
Boy, that was a Major League catch, man!
天哪，那是大联盟的收获，伙计！
I don't make catches like that.
我不会那样做。
Woo!
哇！
And while they wait for their bus to take them back home, the boys start tussling with each other, rolling around on a grassy hill.
当他们等待巴士送他们回家时，男孩们开始互相扭打，在长满青草的小山上滚来滚去。
They are celebrating their win by wrestling.
他们正在通过摔跤庆祝胜利。
I'm about to myself!
我要对自己了！
This is easily the sweetest moment of the season, not only because of the win, but because it's amazing to see the boys so happy.
这无疑是本赛季最甜蜜的时刻，不仅因为胜利，还因为看到孩子们如此高兴真是令人惊奇。
And this is what Bobby will remember-- when Justin and Ricardo get in a real fight an hour later, when he has to suspend Benjamin not once, but twice, and when Joey threatens to beat up a kid from another team.
这就是鲍比会记住的事情——当贾斯汀和里卡多在一小时后真正打架时，当他不得不让本杰明停赛一次，而是两次，当乔伊威胁要殴打另一支球队的一个孩子时。
Always that delicate balance-- fragile, like sobriety.
总是那种微妙的平衡——脆弱，就像清醒一样。
Time out, time out.
超时了，超时了。
Let me-- I've got to tie my shoe.
让我——我得系鞋带。
I always thought I was going to be a loser forever.
我一直以为我会永远是一个失败者。
Man, first of all, being clean makes me feel like, OK, I got a chance to be a winner.
伙计，首先，保持干净让我感觉，好吧，我有机会成为赢家。
But the kids, especially-- and something about kids.
但孩子们，尤其是——以及关于孩子的事情。
This is something I never thought, man, that I'd be able to do.
这是我从未想过的事情，伙计，我能够做到。
It's like-- man, I was walking after a practice like a week or two ago.
就像——伙计，我在一两周前的训练结束后正在散步。
I swear to God I walked across Duke Ellington Bridge to the subway, and I started crying.
我向上帝发誓，我穿过艾灵顿公爵大桥来到地铁站，然后我开始哭泣。
I started crying because I was so fucking happy.
我开始哭，因为我实在是太幸福了。
You know?
你知道？
So happy that, damn, this is probably going to work out.
很高兴，该死，这可能会成功。
I'm probably going to be able to pull this off.
我可能能够成功。
By the end of the season, the kids have a record of two wins and no losses.
到赛季结束时，孩子们取得了2胜0负的战绩。
Playoffs never get scheduled, so there's no reason to practice anymore.
季后赛从来没有安排过，所以没有理由再训练了。
No one knows where Benjamin is these days, and just this week, I saw Joey stealing a soda from the corner store, and I made him take it back.
这些天没人知道本杰明在哪里，就在本周，我看到乔伊从街角商店偷了一瓶苏打水，我让他收回了它。
Bobby still comes around, though, and hangs out in the park, talks with the boys, and he sometimes shoots one on one with them.
不过，鲍比仍然会过来，在公园里闲逛，与男孩们交谈，有时他会与他们进行一对一的射击。
And he says, stick with me.
他说，跟着我吧。
I'm going to have tryouts for a 12 and under basketball team.
我将参加 12 岁及以下篮球队的选拔赛。
I'm going to still be coming around here.
我还会来这里的。
Katie Davis throws that smoke in the neighborhood she grew up in in Washington, DC.
凯蒂·戴维斯 (Katie Davis) 将烟雾扔到她在华盛顿特区长大的社区。
It's been years since we first broadcast this story over a decade ago.
距离我们十多年前首次播出这个故事已经过去了很多年。
Bobby did go on to coach a basketball team, and they took first place at a local Boys and Girls Club.
鲍比确实继续执教一支篮球队，他们在当地的男孩女孩俱乐部获得了第一名。
But Bobby also relapsed.
但鲍比也旧病复发。
He started doing heroin again.
他又开始吸食海洛因。
And then he would get clean, and then he would relapse again.
然后他就会痊愈，然后又旧病复发。
Then he moved to a halfway house, a sober house, where a few years back, he died.
然后他搬到了一个中途宿舍，一个清醒的房子，几年前，他在那里去世了。
He was clean.
他很干净。
His counselor said that one of his few possessions when he died was a CD with this story on it.
他的顾问说，他去世时为数不多的财产之一是一张刻有这个故事的CD。
Web programs produced today by Alex Blumberg and myself, with Susan Burton, Blue Chevigny, and Julie Snyder.
今天由 Alex Blumberg 和我、Susan Burton、Blue Chevigny 和 Julie Snyder 制作的网络节目。
Contributing editors for today's show-- Paul Tough, Jack Hitt, Margie Rockland, Elise Spiegel, Nancy Updike, and conciliary Sarah Vowell.
今天节目的特约编辑包括 Paul Tough、Jack Hitt、Margie Rockland、Elise Spiegel、Nancy Updike 和调解人 Sarah Vowell。
Production help from Todd Bachman, Mary Wiltenburg, and Anna Martin.
托德·巴赫曼、玛丽·威尔滕伯格和安娜·马丁为制作提供了帮助。
Our technical director is Matt Tierney.
我们的技术总监是马特·蒂尔尼。
Mixing help today from Katherine Rae Mondo and Stowe Nelson.
今天由 Katherine Rae Mondo 和 Stowe Nelson 提供混音帮助。
Producing help from Alvin Melathe.
得到阿尔文·梅拉西的帮助。
Special thanks today to Marion Roach, Cheryl Miller, Bob Cargee, Robert Kershner, Wesley Lowery, and John O'Leary.
今天特别感谢 Marion Roach、Cheryl Miller、Bob Cargee、Robert Kershner、Wesley Lowery 和 John O'Leary。
Enrico Togneri, the forensic criminologist you heard near the top of the show-- he died years ago.
恩里科·托格内里 (Enrico Togneri)，你在节目开头附近听到的法医犯罪学家，他几年前就去世了。
Our web site, thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our archive of over 600 stories for absolutely free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的 600 多个故事档案。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he was showing me around his gardening shed.
你知道，他带我参观了他的园艺棚。
He showed me his shears, his hand pruner, has shovels, and-- I don't know-- this thing filled with soil.
他向我展示了他的剪刀、手修枝剪、铲子，还有——我不知道——这个装满泥土的东西。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。