639: In Dog We Trust - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #639 | February 24, 2023 639: In Dog We Trust Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 639 集 | 2023 年 2 月 24 日 639：在《我们信任的狗》中 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Heather and her girlfriend live with a cat named Sid.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯·希瑟和她的女朋友和一只名叫席德的猫住在一起。
The girlfriend was always inventing these cute little affectionate nicknames for Sid, but never did that for Heather.
女朋友总是给希德起这些可爱的、亲切的昵称，但从来没有给希瑟起过这样的绰号。
She was always praising Sid and asking Heather to praise Sid, but never gave that kind of approval to Heather.
她总是赞扬希德并要求希瑟赞扬希德，但从未给予希瑟那样的认可。
If anything, she was kind of detached when it came to Heather.
如果说有什么不同的话，那就是她对希瑟有点冷漠。
So, even though Sid was just a cat, against her will, against her better judgment, Heather started to get jealous.
因此，尽管希德只是一只猫，但希瑟违背了她的意愿，违背了她更好的判断，开始嫉妒。
I remember that I would sort of wake up in the morning, and I would hear her saying things like, you are so beautiful.
我记得我早上醒来，我会听到她说，你真漂亮。
You are a princess.
你是一位公主。
Look at you.
看看你。
And, you know, as I opened my eyes, I realized that she was talking not to me, but to the cat.
而且，你知道，当我睁开眼睛时，我意识到她不是在对我说话，而是在对猫说话。
Mm-hmm.
嗯嗯。
You know, I know if there had been another woman, I would have compared myself to her physically, sort of, what does she look like?
你知道，我知道如果有另一个女人，我会把自己和她的身体进行比较，她长什么样？
What kinds of things is my girlfriend attracted to that I could aspire to?
我的女朋友会被哪些我可以追求的事物所吸引？
You know, what personality traits.
你知道，什么是人格特质。
Is she funny?
她有趣吗？
You know, but there was just-- I didn't know what it was about Sid.
你知道，但只是——我不知道席德是怎么回事。
I mean, I could see that she was attractive as a cat, and I could see that she had this nonchalance that was beautiful.
我的意思是，我可以看到她像一只猫一样迷人，而且我可以看到她有一种美丽的漫不经心。
You know, she didn't seem to care, really, that she was loved.
你知道，她似乎并不关心她是否被爱。
So those were things that I did think about really-- cultivating, even.
所以这些是我真正考虑过的事情——甚至是培养。
But--
但是——
You thought that cultivating a nonchalance, and--
你以为要培养一种冷漠的态度，而且——
You know, that I was this concerned about it shows you that it would have been a, you know, a fake.
你知道，我如此担心它表明你知道它可能是假的。
But, yeah, I mean, I thought about cultivating it like that.
但是，是的，我的意思是，我想过这样培养它。
Since our pets win our love, they can also activate all the other feelings that can go with love-- jealousy, and anger, and dependence, and just everything else.
既然我们的宠物赢得了我们的爱，它们也可以激活所有其他与爱相伴的情感——嫉妒、愤怒、依赖，以及其他一切。
And as soon as any one of those feelings kicks in, all the complicated dynamics that happen between any people, in any household, any family, all of those also inevitably kick in.
一旦其中任何一种感觉开始出现，任何人之间、任何家庭、任何家庭之间发生的所有复杂的动态也不可避免地开始出现。
And that's what happened with Heather and Sid the cat.
这就是希瑟和猫席德身上发生的事情。
I felt sort of the same way I felt-- you know how when you have a crush on someone, and then you're friends with their significant other, and all the awkwardness as you pretend that, you know, you sort of don't have the feelings that you do for this other person.
我的感觉和我的感觉有点一样——你知道当你迷恋某人，然后你和他们的另一半成为朋友时，以及当你假装你对另一个人没有那种感觉时，所有的尴尬。
I sort of felt like Sid was the significant other of the person, you know, for whom I had feelings.
我有点觉得希德是那个我有感情的人的重要另一半。
And so I felt awkward around Sid, and I felt like I had to-- I don't know.
所以我在希德身边感到很尴尬，我觉得我必须——我不知道。
I felt like they were together before I was around, and I was an interloper.
我觉得他们在我出现之前就已经在一起了，而我是一个闯入者。
You know, all the awkwardness surrounding that.
你知道，围绕这一切的尴尬。
And so what's it like to be in a love triangle with another woman and a cat?
那么与另一个女人和一只猫陷入三角恋是什么感觉呢？
Well, it was pretty, you know, diminishing.
嗯，它很漂亮，你知道，正在减少。
I mean, it was a beautiful cat.
我的意思是，那是一只漂亮的猫。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, "In Dog We Trust," stories of dogs and cats and other pets, and how they get caught up in our family dynamics as non-speaking members of our households.
今天在我们的节目“我们信任的狗”中，讲述了狗、猫和其他宠物的故事，以及它们作为不说话的家庭成员如何融入我们的家庭动态。
Our program today in three acts.
我们今天的节目分三幕。
Act 1, "The Youth in Asia," in which writer David Sedaris describes how a Great Dane-- and not a very smart one-- was able to completely replace him and his sisters when they grew up and moved out of their parents' house.
第一幕“亚洲青年”，编剧大卫·塞达里斯描述了一只大丹犬——而且不是很聪明——在他和他的姐妹们长大并搬出父母的房子后，如何完全取代了他们。
Act 2, "Polly Wants So Much More Than a Cracker." Three small children who love their mom, but do not love their mom's pet bird.
第二幕，“波莉想要的不仅仅是一块饼干。”三个小孩爱他们的妈妈，但不爱妈妈的宠物鸟。
Act 3, "Resurrection." What it means in a family when a pet armadillo dies, and what it means when it doesn't die.
第三幕，“复活”。当宠物犰狳死亡时对家庭意味着什么，当它没有死时又意味着什么。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act 1, "The Youth In Asia." So when a pet dies, to what degree can it be replaced by another pet?
第一幕“亚洲青年”。那么当一只宠物死亡后，在多大程度上可以被另一只宠物替代呢？
And to what degree can pets replace people in our lives?
而宠物能在多大程度上取代我们生活中的人呢？
In the early 1960s, during what my mother referred to as the tail end of the Lassie years, my parents were given two collies, which they named Rastus and Duchess.
20 世纪 60 年代初，也就是我母亲所说的莱西时代的末期，我的父母养了两只柯利牧羊犬，他们给它们取名为 Rastus 和 Duchess。
We were living, then, in New York State, out in the country, and the dogs were free to race through the forest.
那时，我们住在纽约州的乡下，狗们可以自由地在森林里奔跑。
They napped in meadows, and stood knee-deep in frigid streams, co-stars in their own private dog food commercial.
他们在草地上打盹，站在齐膝深的寒冷溪水中，共同出演他们自己的私人狗粮广告。
Late one January evening, while lying on a blanket in the garage, Duchess gave birth to a litter of slick, potato-sized puppies.
一月的一个傍晚，公爵夫人躺在车库的毯子上，生下了一窝光滑、土豆大小的小狗。
When it looked as though one of them had died, our mother placed the creature in a casserole dish and popped it into the oven like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.
当其中一个看起来似乎已经死亡时，我们的母亲将其放入砂锅中，然后将其放入烤箱，就像《汉赛尔与格蕾特》中的女巫一样。
Oh, keep your shirts on, she said.
哦，穿上你的衬衫，她说。
It's only set on 150.
只设置为150。
I'm not baking anyone.
我不会烘烤任何人。
This is just to keep it warm.
这只是为了保暖。
The heat revived the sick puppy, and left us believing that our mother was capable of resurrecting the dead.
高温使生病的小狗复活了，让我们相信我们的母亲有能力复活死者。
Faced with the responsibilities of fatherhood, Rastus took off.
面对父亲的责任，拉斯特斯起飞了。
The puppies were given away, and we moved south, where the heat and humidity worked against the best interests of a collie.
小狗被送走了，我们搬到了南方，那里的炎热和潮湿不利于牧羊犬的最大利益。
Duchess's once beautiful coat now hung in ragged patches.
公爵夫人曾经漂亮的外套现在已经破烂不堪。
When finally, full of worms, she collapsed in the ravine beside our house, we re-evaluated our mother's healing powers.
当她最终浑身是虫倒在我们家旁边的峡谷时，我们重新评估了母亲的治愈能力。
The entire animal kingdom was beyond her scope.
整个动物王国都超出了她的范围。
She could only resurrect the cute dead.
她只能复活可爱的死者。
The oven trick was performed on half a dozen dazed and chubby hamsters, but failed to work on my first guinea pig, who died after eating four cigarettes and an entire pack of matches.
烤箱魔术在六只茫然而胖乎乎的仓鼠身上进行了，但对我的第一只豚鼠却不起作用，它在吃了四根香烟和一整包火柴后死了。
Don't take it too hard, my mother said, removing her oven mitts.
别太难受，我母亲一边说，一边脱下了烤箱手套。
The world is full of guinea pigs.
世界上到处都是豚鼠。
You can get another one tomorrow.
明天你可以再去拿一份。
Eulogies tended to be brief, our motto being there's always more where this one came from.
悼词往往很简短，我们的座右铭是永远有更多的悼词。
A short time after Duchess died, our father came home with a German shepherd puppy.
公爵夫人去世后不久，我们的父亲带着一只德国牧羊犬小狗回家。
For reasons that were never fully explained, the privilege of naming the dog went to a friend of my older sister's, a 14-year-old girl named Cindy.
由于从未完全解释过的原因，为这只狗命名的特权授予了我姐姐的一个朋友，一个名叫辛迪的 14 岁女孩。
She was studying German at the time.
当时她正在学习德语。
And after carefully examining the puppy, and weighing it with her hands, she announced that it would be called Madchen, which apparently meant girl in what she referred to as Deutsch.
在仔细检查小狗并用手称重后，她宣布将其命名为“Madchen”，这在她所说的“德语”中显然意味着“女孩”。
When she was six months old, Madchen was hit and killed by a car.
当她六个月大时，麦琴被车撞死了。
Her food was still in the bowl when our father brought home an identical German shepherd.
当我们的父亲带回家一只一模一样的德国牧羊犬时，她的食物还在碗里。
The same Cindy christened as Madchen II.
同一个辛迪被命名为马琴二世。
This tag team progression was disconcerting, especially for the new dog, who was expected to possess both the knowledge and the personality of her predecessor.
这种双打的进展令人不安，尤其是对于新狗来说，人们期望它拥有前任的知识和个性。
Madchen I would never have wet on the floor like that, my father would scold, and the dog would sigh, knowing she was the canine equivalent of a rebound.
我永远不会把地板弄湿成这样，我的父亲会责骂，而狗会叹息，因为知道她相当于狗的反弹。
Madchen II never accompanied us to the beach, and rarely posed in any of the family photographs.
马琴二世从未陪我们去海滩，也很少在家庭照片中摆出姿势。
Once her puppyhood was spent, we more or less lost interest.
一旦她度过了幼年期，我们或多或少就失去了兴趣。
We ought to get a dog, we'd sometimes say, completely forgetting that we already had one.
我们有时会说，我们应该养一只狗，却完全忘记了我们已经养了一只狗。
During the era of the Madchens, we had a succession of drowsy, secretive cats who seemed to share a unique bond with our mother.
在马钦一家的时代，我们养了一系列昏昏欲睡、神秘的猫，它们似乎与我们的母亲有着独特的联系。
It's because I open their cans, she said.
这是因为我打开了他们的罐头，她说。
Though we all knew it ran deeper than that.
尽管我们都知道事情的意义远不止于此。
What they had in common were their claws.
它们的共同点是爪子。
That, and a deep-seated need to destroy my father's golf bags.
那，以及毁掉我父亲的高尔夫球袋的根深蒂固的需要。
The first cat passed into a disagreeable old age, and died hissing at the kitten who had prematurely arrived to replace her.
第一只猫进入了令人不愉快的老年，并在对过早到来取代她的小猫发出嘶嘶声而死。
When, at the age of nine, the second cat was diagnosed with feline leukemia, my mother was devastated.
当我九岁时，第二只猫被诊断出患有猫白血病时，我的母亲非常伤心。
I'm going to have Sadie put to sleep, she said.
“我要去安乐死萨迪，”她说。
It's for her own good, and I don't want to hear a word about it from any of you.
这是为了她好，我不想听到你们任何人说这件事。
This is hard enough as it is.
这已经够难的了。
The cat was put down, and then came the anonymous postcards and phone calls orchestrated by my sisters and I.
猫被安乐死了，然后我和姐妹们精心安排了匿名明信片和电话。
The cards announced a miraculous new cure for feline leukemia, while the callers identified themselves as representatives of Cat Fancy magazine.
这些卡片宣布了一种治疗猫白血病的神奇新疗法，而来电者则自称是《猫幻想》杂志的代表。
We'd like to use Sadie as our cover story, and we're hoping to schedule a photo shoot.
我们想用 Sadie 作为我们的封面故事，并且我们希望安排一次照片拍摄。
Is tomorrow possible?
明天可能吗？
After spending a petless year with only one child still living at home, my parents visited a breeder, and returned with a Great Dane they named Melina.
在家里度过了没有宠物的一年后，我的父母拜访了一位饲养员，并带回了一只大丹犬，他们将其命名为梅琳娜。
They loved this dog in proportion to its size, and soon their hearts had no room for anyone else.
他们对这只狗的喜爱与它的大小成正比，很快他们的心就容不下其他任何人了。
In terms of family, their six children had been nothing more than a failed experiment.
对于家庭来说，他们的六个孩子只不过是一个失败的实验。
Melina was the real thing.
梅琳娜是真实存在的。
The dog was their first true common interest, and they loved it equally, each in their own way.
狗是他们第一个真正的共同兴趣，他们同样以自己的方式热爱它。
Our mother's love tended towards the horizontal, a pet being little more than a napping companion, something she could look at and say, that looks like a good idea.
我们母亲的爱是横向的，宠物只不过是一个午睡的伙伴，她可以看着并说出来，这看起来是个好主意。
Scoot over, why don't you.
快点过去吧，为什么不呢？
A stranger peeking through the window might think that the two of them had entered a suicide pact.
一个陌生人从窗户里偷看可能会认为他们两个已经达成了自杀协议。
She and the dog sprawled like corpses, their limbs arranged into an eternal embrace.
她和狗像尸体一样四肢摊开，四肢永远拥抱在一起。
My father loved the Great Dane for its size, and frequently took her on long, aimless drives, during which she'd stick her heavy, anvil-sized head out the window and leak great quantities of foamy saliva .
我父亲喜欢大丹犬的体型，经常带着她漫无目的地长途跋涉，期间她会把沉重的、铁砧大小的头伸出窗外，流出大量泡沫状的唾液。
Other drivers pointed and stared, rolling down their windows to shout, hey, you got a saddle for that thing?
其他司机指指点点，盯着看，摇下车窗喊道，嘿，你有那个东西的马鞍吗？
When out for a walk, there was the inevitable are you walking her, or is it the other way around?
出去散步时，不可避免的是你要遛她，还是相反？
Our father always laughed as if this were the first time he'd heard it.
我们的父亲总是笑起来，好像这是他第一次听到一样。
The attention was addictive, and he enjoyed a pride of accomplishment he'd never felt with any of us.
这种关注让人上瘾，他享受着一种他在我们任何人身上从未感受到的成就感。
It was as if he were somehow responsible for her size and stature, as if he'd personally designed her spots, and trained her to grow to the size of a pony.
就好像他对她的身材和身材负有某种责任，就好像他亲自设计了她的斑点，并训练她长到小马的大小。
When out with the dog, he carried a leash in one hand and a shovel in the other.
当他带着狗出去时，他一手拿着皮带，另一只手拿着铲子。
Just in case, he said.
以防万一，他说。
Just in case, what, she dies and you need to bury her?
以防万一，怎么，她死了，你需要埋葬她吗？
I didn't get it.
我没明白。
No, he'd say.
不，他会说。
It's for-- you know, it's for her business.
这是为了——你知道，这是为了她的事。
My father was retired, but the dog had business.
我父亲退休了，但狗还有生意。
I was living in Chicago when they first got Melina, and every time I came home, the animal was bigger.
当他们第一次得到梅琳娜时，我住在芝加哥，每次我回家，这只动物都更大了。
Every time, there were more Marmaduke cartooms displayed upon the refrigerator.
每次，冰箱上都会陈列更多的马默杜克漫画。
And every time my voice grew louder as I asked myself, who are these people?
每当我问自己时，我的声音就会变得更大，这些人是谁？
Down, girl, my parents would chuckle as the puppy jumped up, panting for my attention.
下来，女孩，当小狗跳起来，气喘吁吁地吸引我的注意力时，我的父母会咯咯地笑。
Her great padded paws reached my waist, then my chest and shoulders, until, eventually, her arms wrapped around my neck and her head towering above my own, she came to resemble a dance partner scouting the room for a better offer.
她那带垫子的大爪子伸到了我的腰部，然后是我的胸部和肩膀，直到最后，她的手臂搂住了我的脖子，她的头高过我的头，她就像一个舞伴，在房间里寻找更好的报价。
That's just her way of saying hello, my mother would say, handing me the towel used to wipe up the dog's bubbling seepage.
这只是她打招呼的方式，我母亲一边说，一边递给我用来擦狗冒泡的渗水的毛巾。
Here, you missed a spot on the back of your head.
在这里，你错过了后脑勺的一个地方。
The dog's growth was monitored on a daily basis, and every small accomplishment was documented for later generations.
每天都会监测狗的生长情况，每一个小成就都被记录下来供后代使用。
One can find two pictures of my sister Tiffany, while Melina has entire volumes devoted to her Terrible Twos.
人们可以找到我妹妹蒂芙尼的两张照片，而梅琳娜则有一整本书专门介绍她的“可怕的两岁”。
Hit me, my mother said on one of my returns home from Chicago.
有一次我从芝加哥回家时，母亲对我说：打我吧。
No, wait, let me go get my camera.
不，等等，让我去拿相机。
She left the room and returned a few moments later.
她离开了房间，片刻后又回来了。
OK, she said, now hit me.
好吧，她说，现在打我吧。
Better yet, why don't you just pretend to hit me.
更好的是，你为什么不假装打我呢？
I raised my hand, and my mother cried out in pain.
我举起手，妈妈疼得哇哇大叫。
Ow, she yelled, somebody help me.
噢，她喊道，谁来救救我。
This stranger is trying to hurt me, and I don't know why.
这个陌生人想要伤害我，但我不知道为什么。
I caught an advancing blur moving in from the left, and the next thing I knew, I was down on the ground, the Great Dane tearing holes in the neck of my sweater.
我看到一道模糊的东西从左边移动过来，接下来我就知道了，我已经倒在了地上，那只大丹犬在我的毛衣领子上撕开了几个洞。
The camera flashed, and my mother squealed with delight.
相机闪光，妈妈高兴地尖叫起来。
God, I love that trick.
天啊，我喜欢这个把戏。
I rolled over to protect my face.
我翻身以保护我的脸。
This isn't a trick.
这不是诡计。
My mother snapped another picture.
我妈妈又拍了一张照片。
Oh, don't be so critical.
哦，别这么挑剔。
It's close enough.
已经足够接近了。
With us grown and out of the house, my sisters and I foolishly expected our parents' lives to stand still.
随着我们长大并离开家，我和我的姐妹们愚蠢地期望父母的生活会一成不变。
They were supposed to stagnate and live in the past, but instead, they constructed a new we, consisting of Melina and the founding members of her fan club.
他们本应停滞不前，活在过去，但相反，他们构建了一个新的我们，由梅琳娜和她的粉丝俱乐部的创始成员组成。
Someone who obviously didn't know her too well had given my mother a cheerful stuffed bear with a calico heart stitched onto its chest.
一个显然不太了解她的人送给了我母亲一只快乐的毛绒玩具熊，胸前缝着一颗印花布心形玩具熊。
According to the manufacturer, the bear's name was Mumbles, and all it needed in order to thrive were two AA batteries and a regular diet of hugs.
据制造商介绍，这只熊的名字叫 Mumbles，它需要的只是两节 AA 电池和定期的拥抱，才能茁壮成长。
Where's Mumbles, my mother would ask, and the dog would jump up and snatch the bear from its hiding place on top of the refrigerator, yanking it this way and that in hopes of breaking its neck.
我妈妈会问，曼布尔斯在哪里，狗就会跳起来，把熊从冰箱顶上的藏身之处抓起来，把它拉来拉去，希望能扭断它的脖子。
That's my girl, my mother would say.
我妈妈会说，那是我的女儿。
We don't like Mumbles, do we?
我们不喜欢Mumbles，是吗？
I learned that we liked Morley Safer, but not Mike Wallace, that we didn't like Mumbles or thunder, but we're crazy about Stan Getz records and the Iranian couple who'd moved in up the street.
我了解到我们喜欢 Morley Safer，但不喜欢 Mike Wallace，我们不喜欢 Mumbles 或雷霆，但我们对 Stan Getz 的唱片和搬到街上的伊朗夫妇很着迷。
It was difficult to keep straight, but having known these people all my life, I didn't want to be left out of the we.
保持正直很难，但我一生都认识这些人，我不想被排除在我们之外。
During the final years of Madchen II and the first half of the Melina epoch, I lived with a female cat named Neil.
在马德钦二世的最后几年和梅琳娜时代的前半段，我和一只名叫尼尔的母猫住在一起。
My mother looked after the cat when I moved from Raleigh, and flew her to Chicago once I'd found a place and settled in.
当我从罗利搬来时，我母亲照顾了这只猫，当我找到地方并安顿下来后，她就用飞机将她带到了芝加哥。
Neil was old when she moved to Chicago, and then she got older.
尼尔搬到芝加哥时已经老了，然后她就变老了。
She started leaving teeth in her bowl, and developed the sort of breath that could remove paint.
她开始把牙齿留在碗里，并发展出一种可以去除油漆的呼吸。
When she stopped cleaning herself, I took to bathing her in the sink, and she'd stand still, too weak to resist the humiliation of shampoo.
当她停止清洗自己时，我开始在水槽里给她洗澡，她会一动不动地站着，太虚弱了，无法抵抗洗发水的羞辱。
Soaking wet, I could see just how thin and brittle she really was, almost comic, like one of those cartoon cats checking her fur coat at the cloakroom of the seafood restaurant.
浑身湿透，我可以看到她实际上是多么瘦弱，几乎是滑稽的，就像一只卡通猫在海鲜餐厅的衣帽间检查她的皮大衣。
Her kidneys shrank to the size of raisins, and though I loved her very much, I assumed the vet was joking when he suggested dialysis.
她的肾脏缩小到葡萄干大小，尽管我非常爱她，但当兽医建议进行透析时，我认为他是在开玩笑。
I took her for a second opinion.
我征求了她的第二意见。
Vet number two tested her blood, and phoned me at home, saying, perhaps you should think about euthanasia.
二号兽医检查了她的血液，并给我家里打电话说，也许你应该考虑安乐死。
I hadn't heard that word in a while, and pictured scores of happy Japanese children spilling from the front door of their elementary school.
我已经有一段时间没听到这个词了，脑海中浮现出几十个快乐的日本孩子从小学前门涌出来的情景。
Are you thinking about it, he asked?
他问，你在想这个问题吗？
Yes, I said, as a matter of fact I am.
是的，我说，事实上我就是。
In the end, I returned to the animal hospital, and had her put to sleep.
最后，我回到动物医院，让她安乐死。
When the vet injected the sodium phenobarbital, Neil fluttered her eyes, assumed a apt position, and died.
当兽医注射苯巴比妥钠时，尼尔眨了眨眼睛，采取了适当的姿势，然后就死了。
A week after putting her to sleep, I received Neil's ashes in a forest green can.
让她入睡一周后，我收到了尼尔的骨灰，装在一个森林绿色的罐子里。
She'd never expressed any great interest in the outdoors, so I scattered her remains on the carpet-- --and then vacuumed her back up.
她从来没有对户外活动表现出任何浓厚的兴趣，所以我把她的遗体撒在地毯上——然后用吸尘器把她吸回去。
The cat's death struck me as the end of an era.
猫的死让我觉得一个时代的结束。
It was, of course, the end of her era.
当然，这是她时代的结束。
But with the death of a pet, there's always that urge to crowd the parentheses and string black crape over an entire 10- or 20-year period.
但随着宠物的去世，人们总会有一种冲动，想要在整个 10 或 20 年的时间里塞满括号并串上黑纱。
The end of my safe college life, the last of my 30-inch waist, my faltering relationship with my first real boyfriend.
我安全的大学生活结束了，我30英寸腰的最后一根筋，我和第一个真正的男朋友的关系摇摇欲坠。
I cried for it all, and spent the next several months wondering why so few songs were written about cats.
我为这一切哭泣，并在接下来的几个月里想知道为什么关于猫的歌曲如此之少。
My mother sent a consoling letter, along with a check to cover the cost of the cremation.
我母亲寄来一封安慰信，并附上一张支付火葬费用的支票。
In the left-hand corner, under the heading marked, memo, she'd written, pet burning.
在左上角，在标有“备忘录”的标题下，她写下了“宠物燃烧”。
I had it coming.
我已经让它来了。
When my mother died, Melina took over her side of the bed.
我母亲去世后，梅琳娜占据了她那一侧的床。
Due to their size, Great Danes generally don't live very long.
由于体型较大，大丹犬通常寿命不长。
My father massaged her arthritic legs, carried her up the stairs, and lifted her into bed.
我父亲按摩了她患有关节炎的双腿，抱她上了楼梯，然后把她抱到了床上。
He treated her the way that men in movies treat their ailing wives, the way he would have treated my mother had she allowed such naked displays of affection.
他对待她的方式就像电影中的男人对待生病的妻子一样，如果我母亲允许如此赤裸裸地表达爱意，他也会对待她。
Melina's parentheses contained the final 10 years of his married life.
梅琳娜的括号里写的是他婚姻生活的最后十年。
She'd attended my father's retirement, lived through my sister's wedding, and knew who everyone was talking about when they mentioned the M words-- Mom, Mumbles, and Morley Safer.
她参加了我父亲的退休典礼，经历了我姐姐的婚礼，并且知道每个人在提到“M”这个词时都在谈论谁——妈妈、曼布尔斯和莫利·萨弗。
Regardless of her pain, my father could not bear to let her go.
不管她多么痛苦，父亲都不忍心放开她。
The youth in Asia begged him to end her life.
亚洲的年轻人恳求他结束她的生命。
[JAPANESE], they said.
[日语]，他们说。
[JAPANESE] But he held out until the last minute.
[日语] 但他坚持到了最后一刻。
A month after Melina died, my father returned to the breeder, and came home with another Great Dane, a female like Melina, gray spots like Melina, only this one is named Sophie.
梅琳娜死后一个月，我父亲回到饲养员那里，又带着另一只大丹犬回家，一只像梅琳娜的雌性，像梅琳娜的灰斑，只是这只叫索菲。
He tries to love her, but readily admits that he may have made a mistake.
他试图爱她，但很快承认自己可能犯了一个错误。
She's a nice enough dog, but the timing is off.
她是一只足够好的狗，但时机不对。
When walking the puppy through the neighborhood, my father feels not unlike the foolish widower stumbling behind his energetic young bride.
当带着小狗穿过邻居时，我父亲的感觉就像是一个愚蠢的鳏夫在他精力充沛的年轻新娘身后跌跌撞撞。
Her stamina embarrasses him, as does her interest in younger men.
她的耐力让他感到尴尬，她对年轻男人的兴趣也让他感到尴尬。
The passing drivers slow to a stop and roll down their windows.
路过的司机慢慢停下来，摇下车窗。
Hey, they yell, are you walking her, or is it the other way around?
嘿，他们喊道，你是在遛她，还是相反？
Their words remind him of happier times, of milder forces straining against the well-worn leash.
他们的话让他想起了快乐的时光，想起了对那条破旧的皮带施加的温和力量。
He still gets the attention.
他仍然受到关注。
But now, in response, he just lifts his shovel and groans.
但现在，他的回应只是举起铲子，呻吟一声。
David Sedaris.
大卫·塞达里斯。
This story "The Youth in Asia" is in his book Me Talk Pretty One Day.
《亚洲青年》这个故事收录在他的著作《Me Talk Pretty One Day》中。
A version of the story also appeared in Esquire magazine.
这个故事的一个版本也出现在《Esquire》杂志上。
You can catch David on tour all over the country starting in April.
从四月开始，您可以观看 David 在全国各地的巡演。
Details at DavidSedarisBooks.com/tour.
详情请访问 DavidSedarisBooks.com/tour。
Act 2, "Polly Wants So Much More Than a Cracker."
第二幕，“波莉想要的不仅仅是一块饼干。”
When Veronica tells this story, it's a story about love.
当维罗妮卡讲述这个故事时，这是一个关于爱情的故事。
When she was 17, she saw a bird in a pet store, a macaw, which is kind of a big parrot-- brightly colored, with a three-foot wingspan.
17 岁时，她在宠物店看到一只鸟，是金刚鹦鹉，是一种大鹦鹉，颜色鲜艳，翼展有三英尺。
And I fell in love with her immediately.
我立刻就爱上了她。
And, you know, I was still in high school.
而且，你知道，我还在上高中。
I had no money whatsoever.
我什么钱都没有。
How expensive was she?
她的身价有多贵？
Veronica Well, the price tag on the cage said $1,400, which was an inordinate amount of money.
维罗妮卡 好吧，笼子上的标价是 1,400 美元，这可是一笔巨款。
So how long did it take you to pay off the bird?
那么你花了多长时间才还清那只鸟的钱呢？
It took me about five years to pay her off, working part-time jobs, babysitting.
我花了大约五年的时间才付清她的工资，做兼职、照顾孩子。
And what did you love about her?
你喜欢她什么？
What was the thing that drew you to her?
是什么吸引了你到她身边？
I find it hard to say, exactly, why I was drawn to her.
我发现很难确切地说出为什么我被她吸引。
I thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
我认为她是我见过的最美丽的人。
It's hard to describe how it feels to love an animal.
很难描述爱一只动物的感觉。
But as soon as I saw her face, I just thought she was the most beautiful thing, and I had to have her, and I wanted to see that face every day, and I wanted to care for her.
但我一看到她的脸，我就觉得她是最美丽的，我必须拥有她，我想每天看到那张脸，我想照顾她。
And I didn't know anything about bringing up parrots, or feeding them, or caring for them.
我对饲养鹦鹉、喂养它们或照顾它们一无所知。
I just wanted to take her home like a big-- like a treasure.
我只是想把她带回家，就像一个大宝贝一样。
When we first broadcast this story, Veronica was 40 years old, married with two twin boys, Kyle and Cameron, aged five, and another boy, Daniel, who was eight.
当我们第一次播出这个故事时，维罗妮卡 40 岁，已婚，有两个双胞胎男孩，凯尔和卡梅伦，五岁，还有另一个男孩，丹尼尔，八岁。
One of the things she didn't know about parrots when she first saw her macaw is that they can live for 80 years-- 80.
当她第一次看到金刚鹦鹉时，她不知道鹦鹉的一件事是它们可以活 80 年——80 年。
So every morning, she would take the bird, whose name is Gideon, out of her cage so she could freely wander the house.
所以每天早上，她都会把这只名叫吉迪恩的鸟从笼子里抱出来，这样她就可以在房子里自由地漫步。
And get into things she shouldn't get into, like a baby-- climbing into laundry baskets and ripping up clothes, and taking the kids' Pokemon cards and ripping them to shreds, and pulling newspapers out of boxes.
做一些她不应该做的事情，就像一个婴儿一样——爬进洗衣篮，撕烂衣服，把孩子们的神奇宝贝卡撕成碎片，从盒子里拿出报纸。
And so at breakfast, you've got three little kids there.
早餐时，三个小孩在那里。
The kids will interact with each other.
孩子们会互相互动。
And Gideon will scream as loud as she can over their heads.
吉迪恩会在他们头顶上尽可能大声地尖叫。
Now let's play a recording of Gideon for people at home.
现在让我们为家里的人播放吉迪恩的录音。
It sounds really loud.
听起来真的很大声。
Veronica It's intolerable.
维罗妮卡 这是无法忍受的。
It's a sound that you don't want to hear.
这是你不想听到的声音。
[LAUGHING] Ira Glass The word you just used was intolerable?
[笑] Ira Glass 你刚才用的词令人难以忍受？
It's the most unpleasant sound I think I have ever heard.
这是我听过的最难听的声音。
But you've lived with this sound for 23 years.
但你已经和这种声音生活了 23 年。
I've lived with that sound for 23 years.
我已经在这种声音中生活了 23 年。
It's in my dreams.
这是在我的梦里。
It's wherever I go.
无论我走到哪里都是如此。
It's in the kitchen.
它在厨房里。
It's in the dining room.
它在餐厅里。
It's in my bedroom.
它在我的卧室里。
And the kids have grown up with her.
而孩子们也跟着她长大了。
So they won't really notice it at first.
所以他们一开始不会真正注意到它。
But after about the fourth or fifth scream, they will start covering their ears and shouting back at the bird.
但在大约第四次或第五次尖叫后，他们会开始捂住耳朵，对鸟大喊。
[PARROT SCREECHING] Cameron You stop it please?
[鹦鹉尖叫] Cameron 你停下来好吗？
[PARROT SCREECHING] Mommy, will you take me and put her in the tree?
[鹦鹉尖叫]妈妈，你能带我把她放到树上吗？
Now you tape little interviews with your kids about Gideon.
现在你对你的孩子们录制了关于吉迪恩的小采访。
Here's Cameron, who's five.
这是卡梅伦，他五岁了。
Do you like having Gideon in the family?
你喜欢家里有吉迪恩吗？
Not really.
并不真地。
Veronica Would you rather that she went somewhere else?
维罗妮卡 你愿意她去别的地方吗？
Yeah.
是的。
All the way to Sco-- to England.
一直到斯科——到英格兰。
Because I don't want her to scream when we're watching TV.
因为我不想让她在我们看电视时尖叫。
Would you rather have a different kind of pet than Gideon?
您愿意养一种与吉迪恩不同的宠物吗？
Yeah.
是的。
A dog that is really nice and doesn't bite and doesn't bark.
一只非常好的狗，不咬人也不叫。
But do you understand why mommy loves Gideon?
但你知道妈妈为什么爱吉迪恩吗？
No. Ira Glass This is Kyle, the other twin, also five.
不，艾拉·格拉斯 这是凯尔，双胞胎中的另一个，也是五岁。
One time she just almost bited off my thumb.
有一次她差点咬掉我的拇指。
That kind of scared me.
这让我有点害怕。
They're terrified of Gideon.
他们害怕基定。
If they're approached by her, they'll immediately scream and run away.
如果他们靠近她，他们会立即尖叫并逃跑。
They won't go near her now.
他们现在不会靠近她了。
And is that because Gideon is, in fact, a little dangerous?
这是因为吉迪恩实际上有点危险吗？
They're right to be a little scared?
他们有点害怕是对的吗？
Well, Gideon's primary objective in life is to be my mate.
好吧，吉迪恩人生的首要目标是成为我的伴侣。
And so every other person or creature that comes near me is a threat to our relationship.
因此，靠近我的每个其他人或生物都会对我们的关系构成威胁。
And my children are a very big threat to our relationship because we have physical contact with each other.
我的孩子对我们的关系构成了很大的威胁，因为我们彼此有身体接触。
She sees me carrying them and cooking for them and touching them and picking them up.
她看到我抱着它们，为它们做饭，抚摸它们，把它们捡起来。
And so she has a desire to kill them, basically.
所以她基本上有杀死他们的愿望。
I mean, in the bird world, she would kill another predator or some intrusive love interest.
我的意思是，在鸟类世界中，她会杀死另一个掠食者或一些侵入性的爱人。
Now after your kids were born and you saw how Gideon reacted to your children, and you saw how your children reacted to Gideon-- they were scared, that Gideon bit Kyle-- did it change your feelings about Gideon?
现在，在你的孩子出生后，你看到了吉迪恩对你的孩子的反应，你也看到了你的孩子对吉迪恩的反应——他们很害怕，吉迪恩咬了凯尔——这是否改变了你对吉迪恩的感觉？
I don't think anything can change my feelings about Gideon.
我认为没有什么可以改变我对吉迪恩的感情。
But if I had a dog that I loved, and then I had a new baby in the house, and the dog was hostile towards the baby, I wouldn't feel the same way about the dog.
但如果我有一只我爱的狗，然后我家里有了一个新婴儿，而狗对婴儿充满敌意，我就不会对狗有同样的感觉。
I would feel protective of my kid, which I'm sure you did.
我会保护我的孩子，我相信你也是如此。
Well, I do feel protective of the children, and I take certain steps to protect them from her, but I can't stop loving her because of her natural tendency to want to drive away competition.
嗯，我确实对孩子们感到保护，并且我采取了某些措施来保护他们免受她的伤害，但我无法停止爱她，因为她自然倾向于想要赶走竞争。
As I said, this is a love story, and that Veronica knows Gideon is driving everybody else who she loves crazy.
正如我所说，这是一个爱情故事，维罗妮卡知道吉迪恩正在让她所爱的其他人发疯。
She loves the bird.
她喜欢这只鸟。
The same monogamous feelings that make Gideon mean to everyone else make Gideon fantastically sweet to Veronica.
一夫一妻制的感觉使吉迪恩对其他人都很重要，同样也让吉迪恩对维罗妮卡异常甜蜜。
Gideon watches her every move, cuddles with her, blushes.
吉迪恩注视着她的一举一动，拥抱着她，脸红了。
Gideon actually blushes when they play together.
当他们一起玩耍时，吉迪恩实际上会脸红。
She is all that Gideon lives for, and it's hard to turn away from that.
她是吉迪恩赖以生存的全部，很难拒绝这一点。
Thank you, Gideon.
谢谢你，吉迪恩。
Veronica also worries that if she gave the bird away, the bird would die.
维罗妮卡还担心，如果她把这只鸟送人，这只鸟就会死。
They mate so fiercely that sometimes when their mate vanishes, that can happen.
它们的交配非常激烈，有时当它们的配偶消失时，这种情况就会发生。
[PARROT SCREECHING] I know, Gideon, it's upsetting.
[鹦鹉尖叫]我知道，吉迪恩，这令人心烦意乱。
[PARROT CHIRPING] And then there's this story.
[鹦鹉鸣叫]然后就是这个故事。
When Veronica was 18 and barely owned Gideon for a year, she took Gideon outside like she did every day.
当维罗妮卡 18 岁的时候，几乎没有拥有吉迪恩一年，她就像每天一样带着吉迪恩出去。
And Gideon flew away.
基定飞走了。
Veronica hadn't been careful enough clipping her feathers.
维罗妮卡剪羽毛时不够小心。
She was wrecked.
她崩溃了。
Every night, Veronica cried herself to sleep.
每天晚上，维罗妮卡都哭着入睡。
Every day she sat on the roof, watching the skies.
她每天都坐在屋顶上，看着天空。
After six days, a kid on his way to school spotted the bird.
六天后，一个孩子在上学的路上发现了这只鸟。
And I quickly ran to where he said she was.
我赶紧跑到他说的地方。
And I saw her in probably the tallest tree and immediately scaled the tree, got all the way to the top.
我看到她可能在最高的树上，我立即爬上了树，一直爬到了树顶。
I was up about 50 feet.
我当时的高度大约是 50 英尺。
She was on the end of the branch, all the way out.
她在树枝的尽头，一直到外面。
And so I inched my way out.
于是我慢慢地走了出去。
And about 3/4 of the way out-- I was only a foot away from her-- the branch snapped.
大约走到 3/4 的时候——我离她只有一英尺——树枝折断了。
And I fell straight down without hitting anything on the way.
然后我就直接摔倒了，途中没有撞到任何东西。
And just fell 50 feet and landed on my feet on hard ground.
然后我就从 50 英尺处跌落，双脚着地于坚硬的地面上。
And I suffered a multiple compression fracture of my spine and I had a collapsed lung.
我的脊柱多处压缩性骨折，肺部塌陷。
I should have died, according to the orthopedic surgeon.
据整形外科医生说，我应该死了。
Do you think the fact that you nearly died trying to save Gideon is one of the things that makes it impossible for you to give Gideon up?
你认为你为了拯救基定差点丧命的事实是让你无法放弃基定的原因之一吗？
That's something I've thought about.
这是我思考过的事情。
Yeah, it's quite possible.
是的，这很有可能。
I feel like it's brought us closer.
我觉得这让我们更亲近了。
It's not a pleasant thing that happened, but I feel like she would have died out there.
这不是一件令人愉快的事情，但我觉得她会死在那里。
You say that it brought us closer, but you're the only one who actually understands that you went out and you got injured trying to save Gideon.
你说这让我们更亲近，但你是唯一一个真正明白你出去救吉迪恩并受伤的人。
Gideon doesn't understand that.
吉迪恩不明白这一点。
No, she doesn't understand that, but I know she understands something.
不，她不明白这一点，但我知道她明白一些事情。
She's very bonded to me.
她对我很有感情。
She became so close to me at one point that her hormones produced an egg.
有一次，她和我变得如此亲密，以至于她的荷尔蒙产生了一个卵子。
And that's something that happens only between couples.
而这种事只有情侣之间才会发生。
So I know she feels something.
所以我知道她有感觉。
I don't really need to know much more than that.
我真的不需要知道更多。
In the end, I think this is only partly a story about Veronica's love for Gideon.
最后，我认为这只是部分关于维罗妮卡对吉迪恩的爱的故事。
It's also a story about her family's love for her, that they put up with the bird.
这也是一个关于她的家人对她的爱的故事，他们容忍了这只鸟。
We all want to believe that the people who love us will at least accept the parts of us that are not so appealing.
我们都愿意相信，爱我们的人至少会接受我们不那么吸引人的部分。
And in Veronica's case, the unappealing part just happens to have physical form and be a bird.
在维罗妮卡的例子中，没有吸引力的部分恰好具有物理形态并且是一只鸟。
Every day that her kids and her husband put up with that, they prove to her just how much they love her.
她的孩子和她的丈夫每天忍受这一点，他们向她证明他们有多么爱她。
I just don't know why you had to buy her.
我只是不明白你为什么要买她。
How much bucks was she?
她当时多少钱？
She cost a lot of money.
她花了很多钱。
Kyle Like how much money?
凯尔喜欢多少钱？
She cost like $1,400.
她的花费约为 1,400 美元。
Kyle Whoa, just for a parrot?
凯尔 哇，只是为了一只鹦鹉？
Why would they do that?
他们为什么要这么做？
Hi.
你好。
The most remarkable thing, I think, about the phrase "I love you" is how rarely it's used literally to mean I love you, that I have a feeling of love for you.
我认为，关于“我爱你”这句话，最值得注意的是，它很少被用来字面意思是我爱你，我对你有一种爱的感觉。
It's used much more often, I think, to mean 100 other things.
我认为它更常用来表示 100 种其他事物。
Tell me that you love me.
告诉我你爱我。
Or I need to get off the phone now.
或者我现在需要挂掉电话。
Or things are fine between us, right?
或者我们之间一切都很好，对吧？
Or yes, it's fine that we keep the parrot.
或者是的，我们养鹦鹉也没什么问题。
Coming up, one of the best known stories from the bible, re-enacted with an armadillo, sort of.
即将推出的是圣经中最著名的故事之一，以犰狳为原型重新演绎。
And what animal takes a licking and keeps on ticking?
什么动物会舔一下并继续滴答作响？
Answers in a minute, when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，我们会在一分钟内给出答案。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's program, "In Dog We Trust"-- stories of pets and the ways they function as actual members of our families and affect family dynamics.
今天的节目“我们信任的狗”——关于宠物的故事以及它们作为我们家庭的实际成员发挥作用并影响家庭动态的方式。
We first broadcast this show years ago.
我们几年前首次播出这个节目。
We have arrived at Act Three of our program.
我们已经到了我们计划的第三幕了。
Act Three, "Resurrection."
第三幕“复活”。
So earlier in today's show, David Sedaris talked about animals that his mom could and could not bring back to life.
在今天的节目早些时候，大卫·塞达里斯谈到了他妈妈可以或不能复活的动物。
This is another story about what it is that animals can take the place of in our lives and in our homes.
这是另一个关于动物在我们的生活和家庭中可以取代什么的故事。
It's a piece of fiction from writer Brady Udall.
这是作家布雷迪·尤德尔的一部小说。
It was three days after our old man died that my brother, Donald, accomplished the most spectacular deed of his life.
我们的老人去世三天后，我的兄弟唐纳德完成了他一生中最伟大的事迹。
I wish I could have been there to see it.
我希望我能去那里看到它。
Donald taking the Greyhound down to Nogales all by himself, buying the baby armadillo for 800 pesos from a pie-faced Indian woman at the [INAUDIBLE] market, tucking the little thing under his arm like a football, and running the length of the pedestrian border station-- past the heat-struck tourists in their sombreros and loud socks, and the guards with their sidearms and walkie-talkies, pushing through the last steel-toothed turnstile, and sprinting like a madman into the heart of the Nogales slums.
唐纳德独自一人乘坐灰狗巴士前往诺加利斯，在[听不清]市场上从一位大饼脸的印度女人那里花了 800 比索买了小犰狳，把这个小东西像足球一样夹在腋下，跑过步行边境站——经过穿着宽边帽和响亮袜子的中暑游客，以及手持手枪和对讲机的警卫，推开最后一个钢牙旋转门，像疯子一样冲进诺加利斯贫民窟的中心。
It was his proudest moment, though it did take him the rest of the day and half the night of wandering among the hookers and street corner punks to find a bus that would bring him back to Aho, where we lived.
这是他最自豪的时刻，尽管他确实花了一天剩下的时间和半个晚上在妓女和街角小混混中徘徊，才找到一辆巴士把他带回我们住的阿霍。
There he was, after I came home from hours of frantic searching, sitting stiff-backed on the couch, beaming.
当我经过几个小时的疯狂寻找回到家后，他就在那里，背部僵硬地坐在沙发上，笑容满面。
The little armadillo was rooting at the crotch of his pants, and Donald's pink sweating face had screwed itself up with such a grin of utter self-satisfaction.
小犰狳在他的裤裆里翻滚，而唐纳德那张满是汗水的粉红色脸上露出了一种完全自我满足的笑容。
Donald ended up giving the armadillo to me.
唐纳德最终把犰狳给了我。
A present, he said, something to make me feel better.
他说，一份礼物，一份能让我感觉好一点的东西。
I thanked him, took the armadillo which clawed at my T-shirt like a cat, and gave it a little squeeze.
我向他道了谢，接过犰狳，它像猫一样抓着我的 T 恤，轻轻地捏了捏它。
What else could I do?
我还能做什么？
My father had worked as a janitor for 21 years.
我的父亲当了21年的看门人。
But he was also a reader of books, a scholar, if it is possible to be both a scholar and a sixth grade dropout.
但他也是一个读书人，一个学者，如果有可能的话，他既是一个学者，又是一个六年级的辍学生。
And one of his favorite subjects was zoology.
他最喜欢的科目之一是动物学。
He could bore you into a coma with what he knew about the great horned owl or the common mealworm or the laughing hyenas of Africa.
他可以用他对非洲大角鸮、普通粉虫或笑鬣狗的了解让你陷入昏迷。
But of all the beasts of the animal kingdom, he loved and admired the humble armadillo most.
但在动物王国的所有野兽中，他最喜爱和欣赏的是卑微的犰狳。
Nope, not the smartest or the prettiest, he would say when one of them scattered across the highway in front of our old LeMans.
不，不是最聪明或最漂亮的，当他们中的一个分散在我们老勒芒前面的高速公路上时，他会说。
But the hardiest, you see what I'm saying, the most resourceful.
但最坚强的人，你明白我说的，最足智多谋的。
He often promised he would get us an armadillo for a pet, but he died before he could come through-- an end-all heart attack standing in line at the grocery store.
他经常答应给我们买一只犰狳当宠物，但他还没兑现诺言就去世了——最终在杂货店排队时心脏病发作。
I was 17, Donald 19.
那年我 17 岁，唐纳德 19 岁。
Our mother, a Guatemalan migrant worker who had married my father under the impression he would one day be a rich man who could buy her a Cadillac and a house with a swimming pool, had run off when we were babies.
我们的母亲是一名危地马拉移民工人，她嫁给了我父亲，以为他有一天会成为一名富翁，可以给她买一辆凯迪拉克和一栋带游泳池的房子，但当我们还是婴儿时，她就离家出走了。
So it was just the two of us now.
所以现在就只有我们两个人了。
It took me about a week to get over the shock, and then I did what I had to.
我花了大约一周的时间才从震惊中恢复过来，然后我做了我必须做的事。
I dropped out of school, started working full time pouring concrete for Hasenpfeffer's and moved Donald and me to a cheaper apartment near the [?
我辍学了，开始全职为 Hasenpfeffer's 浇筑混凝土，并把唐纳德和我搬到了[？
McComb ?] and Sons wrecking yard, where Donald could watch the cars getting pulverized from our window.
麦库姆？]和儿子的残骸场，唐纳德可以从我们的窗户看到汽车被粉碎。
We got money from the state that paid for Donald's medication, but the rest was up to me.
我们从国家那里得到了支付唐纳德药物费用的钱，但剩下的就取决于我了。
Donald was really something else.
唐纳德确实是另外一个人。
What could be done with a guy who ate his own earwax, who carried a maroon mini bible in the band of his underpants, and read random scriptures out loud at inappropriate times?
对于一个吃了自己耳垢、在内裤带上藏着一本栗色迷你圣经、在不适当的时候随意大声朗读经文的人来说，该怎么办呢？
Who could be sashaying about the room one minute, doing a dead-on impression of Sammy Davis, Jr., and the next be downstairs in the closet grunting like a pig and trying to tear his hair out?
谁可能前一分钟还在房间里大摇大摆地走来走去，把小萨米·戴维斯(Sammy Davis, Jr.) 的形象准确地表现出来，下一分钟就在楼下的衣柜里像头猪一样咕咕叫，试图扯下他的头发？
From a distance, you wouldn't have been able to tell him from any other teenager.
从远处看，你根本无法将他与其他少年区分开来。
He had relatively good hygiene, did not usually talk to himself in public, and was something of a handsome devil, with his dark hair hanging down over pale green eyes.
他的卫生条件比较好，平时很少在公共场合自言自语，黑发垂下来，遮住淡绿色的眼睛，有点英俊的魔鬼气质。
Sometimes I would take him to a party or a dance with me and the girls would flock around us.
有时我会带他一起去参加聚会或舞会，女孩们会聚集在我们周围。
He could be as charming as Hugh Hefner in short bursts before he'd have to run off and hide in the bathroom.
他可能会像休·海夫纳一样在短时间内变得像休·海夫纳一样迷人，然后他就不得不跑到浴室里躲起来。
I remember once when I was nine or 10, and we were playing in the back yard.
我记得有一次，当我九岁或十岁的时候，我们在后院玩耍。
He kept pestering me, saying, I am the Indian.
他一直缠着我说，我是印度人。
You are the cowboy.
你是牛仔。
OK?
好的？
I told him to shut his trap.
我告诉他关闭他的陷阱。
I was busy building a cave for my army men.
我正忙着为我的军人建造一个洞穴。
He wouldn't give up.
他不会放弃。
Me Indian, you cowboy.
我是印第安人，你是牛仔。
Okey-dokey?
好吧？
Over and over.
一遍又一遍。
Damn it, Donald, you freak, I hollered.
该死的，唐纳德，你这个怪物，我喊道。
Do whatever you want, but just shut up for a second.
做你想做的事，但请闭嘴一秒钟。
I'm not a freak, he said, sticking his chin out.
我不是怪人，他伸出下巴说道。
All right then, I said.
那好吧，我说。
The next time I looked up, Donald was on top of the doghouse with a bow and arrow set my father had bought for him at a garage sale.
当我再次抬头时，唐纳德正站在狗舍顶上，手里拿着一套我父亲在车库拍卖会上为他买的弓箭。
He had the arrow notched and pulled back to his ear, just like the Indians we saw on TV.
他把箭头切开缺口，拉回到耳朵上，就像我们在电视上看到的印第安人一样。
I hadn't noticed before, but now I saw that he had taken off his shirt and tucked it in the elastic of his shorts so it looked like he was wearing a loincloth, and had used a little blood from the scab on his elbow to make fiendish red streaks across his face.
我以前没有注意到，但现在我看到他脱掉了衬衫，把它塞进短裤的松紧带里，看起来就像缠着缠腰布，并用肘部结痂的一点血在他的脸上留下了凶恶的红色条纹。
He was doing it perfect, really, just like a TV Indian.
他做得很完美，真的，就像电视上的印度人一样。
I didn't believe he would really shoot me, so I just sat there like a jackass, my hands full of dirt.
我不相信他真的会向我开枪，所以我就像个傻瓜一样坐在那里，双手沾满了泥土。
I didn't see him let go of the bowstring, but I certainly did hear the fop the arrow made when it hit me in the chest dead center.
我没有看到他松开弓弦，但我确实听到了箭击中我胸部正中央时发出的声音。
More from the surprise than anything, I fell flat on my back.
更多的是因为惊讶，我仰面躺倒了。
It was only a target arrow, but it pierced my sternum just enough to stand up right from my chest, waving around sluggishly like a reed in a river.
这只是一支箭，却刺穿了我的胸骨，让我从胸口直立起来，像河里的芦苇一样缓慢地挥舞着。
I lay in the grass and stared up at the neon yellow fletching of the arrow.
我躺在草地上，抬头凝视着霓虹黄色的箭羽。
My hands were still full of dirt.
我的手上仍然沾满了泥土。
Donald jumped down from the doghouse and stood over me.
唐纳德从狗窝里跳下来，站在我身边。
He was smiling an odd, satisfied smile, as if he was expecting to be congratulated on his marksmanship.
他脸上挂着一种奇怪而满意的微笑，仿佛他期待着别人祝贺他的枪法。
He looked down at me for a long time before he gently put his hand around the shaft of the arrow without pulling it out.
他低头看了我良久，才轻轻地把手放在箭杆上，没有拔出来。
He said, right smack dab in the heart, white man.
他说得恰到好处，白人。
I told Donald I wanted him to name the armadillo.
我告诉唐纳德我想让他为犰狳命名。
After several days of deliberation, he decided to name it after Otis, the happy drunk on The Andy Griffith Show, who our father had resembled in almost eerie detail.
经过几天的深思熟虑，他决定以奥蒂斯的名字来命名它，奥蒂斯是《安迪·格里菲斯秀》中快乐的醉汉，我们的父亲在几乎令人毛骨悚然的细节上与他相似。
I'd gotten used to taking care of Donald alone.
我已经习惯了独自照顾唐纳德。
I had no choice.
我别无选择。
But Otis was a different story.
但奥蒂斯却是另一回事。
First of all, Otis smelled.
首先，奥蒂斯闻了闻。
He gave off a musky odor that intensified whenever he was nervous or hungry.
他散发出一种麝香的气味，每当他紧张或饥饿时，这种气味就会变得更强烈。
And no matter if we scrubbed him raw with industrial soap and water, the smell would come back in an hour or so.
无论我们用工业肥皂和水把他擦干净，一小时左右，气味就会再次出现。
And then there was the furniture.
然后是家具。
Armadillos are burrowing animals.
犰狳是穴居动物。
This is something I learned from my father.
这是我从父亲那里学到的。
And in the confines of our small apartment, Otis didn't have many opportunities to burrow.
在我们的小公寓里，奥蒂斯没有太多挖洞的机会。
Instead, he would march through the house like a tiny gray tank and move the furniture around.
相反，他会像一辆灰色的小坦克一样在房子里大步走动，并移动家具。
He'd waddle into the living room, put his blunt forehead against one of the legs of the coffee table and bear down, inching it around the room, his little squirrel claws scrabbling on the wood floor.
他会摇摇晃晃地走进客厅，用他那钝的前额抵住咖啡桌的一条腿，然后用力将它在房间里慢慢移动，他的小松鼠爪子在木地板上乱抓。
At least once a week, he would crawl between the mattress and box springs of my bed and take a dump.
每周至少有一次，他会爬到我床上的床垫和弹簧床之间拉屎。
My father was right about armadillos.
我父亲对犰狳的看法是正确的。
They are hardy, they are resourceful-- and if Otis is typical, they're as dumb as donkey crap.
他们很坚强，足智多谋——如果奥蒂斯是典型的话，他们就像驴子一样愚蠢。
Sometimes in the course of his incessant apartment wandering, Otis would find himself trapped in a corner and would spend the rest of the evening attempting to claw his way out.
有时，在他不断在公寓里徘徊的过程中，奥蒂斯会发现自己被困在一个角落里，并会在晚上剩下的时间里试图找出路。
Otis was technically my pet.
严格来说，奥蒂斯是我的宠物。
But Donald cared for him, worried over and tormented and teased him, then made up with tearful professions of regret and affection.
但唐纳德关心他，担心他，折磨他，取笑他，然后含泪表示遗憾和爱意来弥补。
While I was away at work, they would do things together.
当我不在工作时，他们会一起做事。
Donald would carry Otis around outside, conversing with him, rooting in the weeds in the vacant lot, searching for earthworms or crickets for Otis's dinner.
唐纳德会带着奥蒂斯在外面到处走动，与他交谈，在空地上的杂草中扎根，寻找蚯蚓或蟋蟀作为奥蒂斯的晚餐。
Sometimes Donald would hide behind the recliner, and when Otis passed by would jump out and shout in a high soprano wail, "Look out, Otis!" Poor Otis would spring two feet into the air like a startled cat, his leathery body twisting, his claws clutching at nothing.
有时唐纳德会躲在躺椅后面，当奥蒂斯经过时，他就会跳出来，用高亢的女高音哭喊：“小心，奥蒂斯！”可怜的奥蒂斯会像一只受惊的猫一样跳到空中两英尺，他皮革般的身体扭曲着，他的爪子抓着什么也没有。
And once he'd landed, he'd scurry into the hallway looking back over his shoulder, embarrassment in those little piggy eyes.
一旦落地，他就会匆匆跑进走廊，回头看看，那双小猪眼里满是尴尬。
This kind of living arrangement was no boost to my social life, I can tell you.
我可以告诉你，这种生活安排并没有促进我的社交生活。
If I ever wanted to bring a girl home, I figured I'd have some difficulty explaining why the apartment smelled like a bear's den, why the furniture was strewn around, and why my brother was naked and hiding behind the couch, waiting to scare the daylights out of an armadillo.
如果我想带一个女孩回家，我想我很难解释为什么公寓闻起来像熊窝，为什么家具散落一地，为什么我哥哥赤身裸体躲在沙发后面，等着把犰狳吓跑。
It took five years before I found someone I loved enough to bring home.
我花了五年的时间才找到一个我足够爱的人带回家。
Allison was good about everything, told me I was a saint and a Christian to be taking care of Donald.
艾莉森对一切都很好，告诉我我是一个圣人和基督徒来照顾唐纳德。
She was so wonderful and beautiful and good-smelling, I could barely stand it.
她是如此美妙、美丽、芬芳，我几乎无法忍受。
Eventually, I proposed to her, after which I went home to talk to Donald.
最终，我向她求婚，然后我回家和唐纳德谈谈。
It was springtime in the desert, the smell of cactus blossoms everywhere.
沙漠里正值春天，到处都弥漫着仙人掌花的香味。
And I was so full of love and desire I could barely see straight.
我充满了爱和欲望，几乎看不清东西。
Allison and I had decided that we would get an apartment nearby.
艾莉森和我决定在附近买一套公寓。
With my new promotion at Hasenpfeffer's and Allison's job at the county courthouse, we could afford our own place-- and with the help of the government's support, Donald.
随着我在哈森普费弗的新晋升和艾莉森在县法院的工作，我们可以负担得起自己的住所——并且在政府支持的帮助下，唐纳德。
Donald would be all right as long as we checked on him daily, made sure he was taking his medication, and occasionally washed down the place with ammonia so the smell wouldn't bother the neighbors.
只要我们每天检查唐纳德，确保他正在服用药物，并且偶尔用氨水冲洗这个地方，这样气味就不会打扰邻居，唐纳德就可以了。
I have to admit, the thought of escaping from Donald and Otis and that cave of an apartment was almost as enticing as the thought of being together with Allison.
我不得不承认，逃离唐纳德和奥蒂斯以及那个公寓的洞穴的想法几乎和与艾莉森在一起的想法一样诱人。
At home, when I sat Donald down to explain things to him, I could barely get a word out.
在家里，当我让唐纳德坐下来向他解释事情时，我几乎一句话也说不出来。
I stuttered and stammered, kept wiping my mouth.
我结结巴巴，不停地擦着嘴。
When I finally made things clear, Donald whipped out his mini bible and frantically paged through it, but couldn't seem to come up with anything-- the first time I'd ever seen him at a loss for a scripture.
当我终于把事情说清楚时，唐纳德拿出他的迷你圣经，疯狂地翻阅它，但似乎想不出任何东西——这是我第一次看到他对经文不知所措。
He yanked at his hair and ground his teeth together until they squeaked.
他拉扯自己的头发，咬紧牙关，直到牙齿发出吱吱声。
Finally without saying anything, he snatched up Otis who had been napping under one of the couch cushions and went into the laundry room, slamming the door behind him.
最后什么也没说，他一把拉起正在沙发垫下打瞌睡的奥蒂斯，走进洗衣房，砰地关上门。
I felt like kicking that door down and wringing his neck.
我真想踢开那扇门，扭断他的脖子。
Couldn't you at least try to be happy for me, to think of somebody other than himself for one minute?
你就不能至少试着为我感到高兴，为我考虑一分钟而不是为他自己考虑一下吗？
I wanted only to be with Allison, and I hated Donald for making it so difficult-- hated him for years of responsibility and obligation and lost opportunities-- hated him in the way only a brother can hate a brother.
我只想和艾莉森在一起，我恨唐纳德让事情变得如此困难——恨他多年来的责任和义务以及失去的机会——恨他的方式只有兄弟才能恨兄弟。
I took a few steps toward the stairwell to leave.
我朝楼梯间走了几步准备离开。
I didn't care.
我不在乎。
I was going to stay at Allison's, my first night ever away from Donald, when I heard a splashing noise from inside the apartment.
我正准备住在艾莉森家，这是我离开唐纳德的第一个晚上，这时我听到公寓内传来扑通扑通的声音。
The laundry room door was locked and I shouted Donald's name, but got no response.
洗衣房的门锁着，我大喊唐纳德的名字，但没有得到回应。
I tried to kick in the door, which was made of something like cardboard.
我试图踢开那扇用纸板之类的东西制成的门。
My foot went right through it.
我的脚直接穿过了它。
Once I had my leg free, I looked through the splintered hole and could see Donald hunched over the overflowing utility sink, both arms submerged up to his biceps.
当我把腿放开后，我透过裂开的洞往里看，看到唐纳德弓着背在溢出的公用水槽上，双臂浸没在二头肌处。
The back of his neck was purple and pulsing, full of angry blood.
他的颈后呈紫色，搏动着，充满了愤怒的血液。
And it took me only a moment to understand.
我只花了一会儿就明白了。
He was trying to drown Otis.
他试图淹死奥蒂斯。
I unlocked the door and grabbed him from behind, but he resisted me, grunting and plunging Otis deeper into the water.
我打开门，从后面抓住他，但他拒绝了我，咕哝着，把奥蒂斯扔进了更深的水里。
I wrestled him out into the living room, where we fell sideways against the couch.
我把他摔到客厅，我们一起倒在沙发上。
Donald twisted away from me and stood up, the water dripping off his elbows, forming a puddle around his shoes.
唐纳德扭身离开我，站了起来，水从他的手肘上滴下来，在他的鞋子周围形成了一个水坑。
Otis was curled up in a ball, just like when he slept.
奥蒂斯蜷缩成一团，就像睡觉时一样。
And Donald began to shiver so badly that he lost his grip, and let Otis' body slide out of his hands and hit the floor with a wet slap.
唐纳德开始颤抖得厉害，以至于他失去了控制，让奥蒂斯的身体从他手中滑落，湿漉漉的一巴掌撞到了地板上。
Donald's face twisted into a mask of concentrated grief.
唐纳德的脸因悲伤而扭曲。
See, he wept, see what I did?
瞧，他哭了，看看我做了什么？
Looking at my brother, I felt all the parts of me that had been opening up since I had met Allison collapse on each other like so many empty rooms.
看着我的兄弟，我感到自从遇见艾莉森以来，我身体的所有部分都像许多空荡荡的房间一样相互崩溃。
It would have to be me and Donald, brothers, inseparable, no one else allowed.
必须是我和唐纳德，形影不离的兄弟，没有其他人允许。
I don't remember if I looked away or if it was as sudden as it seemed, but one moment Otis was a sad, wet corpse, as dead as an armadillo could be.
我不记得我是否把目光移开了，或者是否像看上去那么突然，但有那么一刻，奥蒂斯成了一具悲伤、潮湿的尸体，就像一只犰狳一样死了。
And the next, he was huffing and twitching and scrabbling to his feet.
接下来，他气喘吁吁，抽搐着，挣扎着站了起来。
Donald let out an arching shriek, which sent Otis zigzagging into the kitchen where a mad chase ensued-- Donald slipping and flailing, knocking over chairs and pulling down the drapes, still choking and sobbing, now with relief.
唐纳德发出一声弓形尖叫，奥蒂斯曲折地走进厨房，一场疯狂的追逐随之而来——唐纳德滑倒、挥舞，撞倒了椅子，拉下了窗帘，他仍然在窒息和哭泣，现在松了口气。
He finally herded Otis under the table.
他最终把奥蒂斯赶到了桌子底下。
And once he had pulled him out, he held him up, his fingers locked in a death grip around his little body, and cried, "Otis is resurrected.
一旦他把他拉出来，他就将他举了起来，手指紧紧地抓住他小小的身体，喊道：“奥蒂斯复活了。
Otis is resurrected."
奥蒂斯复活了。”
A fair trade.
公平贸易。
Donald got his armadillo back and I got to marry Allison.
唐纳德找回了他的犰狳，而我则嫁给了艾莉森。
Never again did Donald show any sign of jealousy or resentment.
唐纳德再也没有表现出任何嫉妒或怨恨的迹象。
He was the best man at our wedding, read a long section from Zephaniah at the reception, and even bought us a gift-- a book called Hot Sex for Cold Fish.
他是我们婚礼上的伴郎，在招待会上读了很长一段《西番雅书》，甚至给我们买了一份礼物——一本叫《冷鱼的热性》的书。
Things went well those first few years.
最初几年一切进展顺利。
We saved up enough to buy the concrete business from old Hasenpfeffer, who retired to ride his Harley around the continent.
我们攒了足够的钱从老哈森普费弗那里购买了混凝土业务，他退休后骑着他的哈雷摩托车环游非洲大陆。
And Donald and Otis seemed to thrive together.
唐纳德和奥蒂斯似乎一起茁壮成长。
We stopped in to visit as often as we could.
我们尽可能经常停下来参观。
Allison cooked dinner for them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
艾莉森每周二和周四为他们做晚餐。
And we paid a house cleaning service to scrub the apartment down every week, put the furniture back in place, and steamed the carpets.
我们还支付了房屋清洁服务费，每周都会擦洗公寓，将家具放回原处，并蒸地毯。
Donald had his first episode one night while I was in Phoenix at a heavy equipment auction.
一天晚上，当我在凤凰城参加重型设备拍卖时，唐纳德迎来了他的第一集。
They found him digging up the lawn in front of the city First Bank, blabbering about how difficult it was to find high grade earthworms on the south end of town.
他们发现他正在城市第一银行前面的草坪上挖土，一边喋喋不休地说在城市南端要找到高级蚯蚓是多么困难。
When the cops tried to approach him, he pelted them with dirt clods and threatened to eat a fist full of worms if they got any closer.
当警察试图接近他时，他向他们扔土块，并威胁说，如果他们再靠近，他就吃掉装满虫子的拳头。
He spent most of the night in the holding tank before Sheriff Brasky figured out who he was and gave me a call.
在布拉斯基警长弄清楚他是谁并给我打电话之前，他在储水池里呆了大半夜。
A few months later, Donald climbed an old elm at the city park, which branched out over a sidewalk.
几个月后，唐纳德爬上城市公园的一棵老榆树，公园在人行道上延伸。
He managed to pee on a few passersby before the groundskeeper knocked him off a branch with a well-thrown rake.
他设法在几个路人身上撒尿，然后场地管理员用一把精心扔出的耙子把他从树枝上撞下来。
We took him to a doctor, who adjusted his medication and suggested that Donald be put in a home where he could get the care and attention he needed, where he could socialize with somebody besides an armadillo.
我们带他去看医生，医生调整了他的药物治疗，并建议将唐纳德安置在一个能让他得到所需护理和关注的家中，在那里他可以与犰狳之外的其他人交往。
I brought up the subject with Donald, but he told me he would rather die than give up Otis and go live in a house with a bunch of half-wits and knuckleheads.
我向唐纳德提起了这个话题，但他告诉我，他宁愿死也不愿放弃奥蒂斯，去住在一所有一群傻瓜和傻瓜的房子里。
The only other option, we knew, was taking in Donald and Otis ourselves.
我们知道，唯一的选择就是亲自接纳唐纳德和奥蒂斯。
Allison was eight months pregnant with our second baby.
艾莉森怀着我们的第二个孩子八个月了。
The business was really starting to take off.
生意才真正开始腾飞。
It just wasn't a good time, we told ourselves.
我们告诉自己，这不是一个好时机。
We might be able to work something out in a few months when things had settled down.
当事情稳定下来后，我们也许可以在几个月内解决一些问题。
By the end of the summer, Donald was dead.
夏末，唐纳德去世了。
The call came in the middle of the night like they always do.
像往常一样，电话是在半夜打来的。
Sheriff Brasky told me that Donald had been hit by a car on 87 near the refinery.
布拉斯基警长告诉我，唐纳德在 87 路炼油厂附近被车撞了。
He had run through traffic completely naked, dodging cars and sprinting down the median until an old couple in a minivan clipped him with their bumper, knocking him over a temporary still divider and onto a concrete platform where he was partially impaled by a jutting piece of rebar.
他完全赤身裸体地穿过车流，躲避汽车，冲过中央隔离带，直到一对开着小型货车的老夫妇用保险杠撞到了他，把他撞倒在一个临时的静止隔断上，摔到了一个混凝土平台上，在那里他被一根突出的钢筋刺穿了部分身体。
He bled to death before the ambulance arrived.
在救护车到达之前，他因失血过多而死亡。
After I went to the hospital to identify his body, I drove out to the accident site.
去医院认领尸体后，我开车前往事故现场。
For half an hour, I combed both sides of the highway without a flashlight until I found Otis cowering under a piece of discarded plywood.
半个小时里，我在没有手电筒的情况下梳理了高速公路两侧，直到发现奥蒂斯蜷缩在一块废弃的胶合板下。
His left foreleg was mangled, nearly torn from his body.
他的左前腿被撞伤，几乎从身体上撕下来。
And he was bleeding from the soft flesh of his belly.
他腹部柔软的肉正在流血。
I drove him over to the only veterinarian in town, Larry Oleander, and pounded on the door until he answered.
我开车送他到镇上唯一的兽医拉里·奥兰德那里，然后敲门直到他回答。
Larry was an old retired cowboy with a glass eyeball and a dent in his head where a mule had kicked him.
拉里是一位退休的老牛仔，他的眼球是玻璃的，头上有一个被骡子踢到的凹痕。
Jesus, Geronimo, Christ, he said.
耶稣，杰罗尼莫，基督，他说。
It was 4 o'clock in the morning.
当时是凌晨四点。
I held Otis out to him and he said, what you have there is an armadillo.
我把奥蒂斯递给他，他说，你那是一只犰狳。
Fix him up, I said.
把他治好，我说。
Son, he said, I don't know what you think-- Do it.
儿子，他说，我不知道你怎么想——去做吧。
Larry Oleander peered up at me.
拉里·奥兰德抬头看着我。
He sighed and held the screen door open.
他叹了口气，打开纱门。
Come the hell on in.
快进来吧。
Larry amputated Otis' leg, stitched up the wound on his underside, and bandaged him until he looked like one big wad of gauze.
拉里截掉了奥蒂斯的腿，缝合了他下面的伤口，并用绷带包扎了他，直到他看起来像一大团纱布。
When I tried to pay him, he waved his hand in front of my face, took a slug off a bottle of vodka he kept under the operating table.
当我试图付钱给他时，他在我面前挥了挥手，从他放在手术台下的一瓶伏特加中抽出了一口。
Jesus, Richard, just promise me you'll never make a peep about this to anybody.
天哪，理查德，向我保证你永远不会向任何人偷看这件事。
I took Otis home, and he has been part of our family ever since.
我把奥蒂斯带回家，从那时起他就成了我们家庭的一员。
Over the last few years, I've added on a wing to the house just for him.
在过去的几年里，我专门为他在房子里加了一个侧翼。
He has a room with a skylight and two bay windows, his own pillow bed to sleep under, and a bunch of old furniture to push around.
他有一个带天窗和两个凸窗的房间，有自己的枕头床可以睡觉，还有一堆旧家具可以推来推去。
As far as I'm aware, he is the only three-legged armadillo on Earth with his own personal wading pool.
据我所知，他是地球上唯一拥有自己的浅水池的三足犰狳。
Allison is not thrilled about having an armadillo in her home, never has been.
艾莉森对于家里有一只犰狳并不感到兴奋，从来没有。
But she knows it's important to me.
但她知道这对我很重要。
The kids-- we have four of them now-- can't stand Otis either.
孩子们——我们现在有四个孩子——也无法忍受奥蒂斯。
They want another pet, some kind of happy, slobbering dog or an albino snake to impress their friends.
他们想要另一只宠物，某种快乐、流口水的狗或一条白化蛇来给他们的朋友留下深刻的印象。
Otis is not only real, real, dumb, they argue, but also smells like doodoo.
他们认为，奥蒂斯不仅真实、真实、愚蠢，而且闻起来像杜杜。
They're not sure which is worse.
他们不确定哪个更糟。
I tell them they are correct.
我告诉他们他们是正确的。
They'll get no disagreement from me, but Otis is our pet and we're going to love him no matter what.
他们不会从我这里得到不同意见，但奥蒂斯是我们的宠物，无论如何我们都会爱他。
I try not to let myself forget how blessed I am-- my beautiful family, my dream house up in the hills, a successful business that pretty much runs without me.
我尽量不让自己忘记我是多么幸福——我美丽的家庭，我梦想中的山上房子，一家几乎不需要我就可以经营的成功企业。
I am happy and satisfied most of the time.
大多数时候我是快乐和满足的。
But every once in a while, maybe once or twice a year, something will come over me-- a dark mood that I can't shake, usually at night when everyone is asleep and the house is quiet.
但每隔一段时间，也许一年一两次，我就会有一些东西——一种我无法摆脱的黑暗情绪，通常是在晚上，当每个人都睡着了，房子里很安静的时候。
And I'll get Otis out from under his pillow bed and take him upstairs.
我会把奥蒂斯从他的枕头床底下救出来并带他上楼。
I run a bath, sitting on the lip of the tub, holding him close to my chest the way he likes it.
我洗澡，坐在浴缸的边缘，按照他喜欢的方式把他抱在我的胸前。
Usually I just let him paddle around, but sometimes when the tub is almost overflowing, I take him firmly in both hands and plunge him into the water.
通常我只是让他划来划去，但有时当浴缸快满溢时，我会用双手紧紧地抓住他，将他投入水中。
There's not a clock in the bathroom, so I count one alligator, two alligator, three alligator.
浴室里没有钟，所以我数了数，一只鳄鱼，两只鳄鱼，三只鳄鱼。
This is how I count off the seconds.
这就是我数秒的方式。
Otis struggles like a tiny lion for the first two or three minutes, writhing and spasming wildly, sending up a boiling foam of bubbles, fighting and scratching with everything he's got, and I hate myself for what I'm doing to him.
在最初的两三分钟里，奥蒂斯像一头小狮子一样挣扎，疯狂地扭动和痉挛，喷出沸腾的泡沫，用他所有的东西战斗和抓挠，我讨厌自己对他所做的一切。
Usually between the fourth and fifth minute is when he starts to lose his will and his thrashing weakens, as he gradually curls up on himself like a flower dying, and goes utterly still.
通常在第四到第五分钟之间，他开始失去意志，他的殴打也减弱了，他逐渐像一朵枯萎的花一样蜷缩起来，然后完全静止。
This is always the hardest part for me.
这对我来说始终是最难的部分。
The urge to pull him out is almost unbearable, but I go five or 10 seconds longer than the last time.
想把他拉出来的冲动几乎难以忍受，但我比上次多了五到十秒。
One alligator, two alligator, three alligator, four alligator, five alligator-- until I can't stand it anymore.
一只鳄鱼，两只鳄鱼，三只鳄鱼，四只鳄鱼，五只鳄鱼——直到我再也受不了了。
I lift him out and he lies there in my hands like a deflated soccer ball.
我把他抱了出来，他像一个瘪了气的足球一样躺在我手里。
And I'm sick with dread knowing that this time, I've taken it too far.
我很害怕，因为我知道这一次我做得太过分了。
I've killed him.
我已经杀了他了。
I stare down at him and wait, hardly blinking, wait for that first twitch or jerk, for his nostrils to flare with life.
我低头盯着他，眼睛几乎不眨一下，等待着他的第一次抽动或抽动，等待他的鼻孔因生命而张开。
And usually there's an almost imperceptible shudder from under his hard shell, a stirring.
通常情况下，他坚硬的外壳下都会有一种几乎难以察觉的颤抖，一种激动。
And his tail will begin to vibrate like a piano wire.
他的尾巴会开始像钢琴弦一样振动。
And he slowly, hesitantly, opens up and stretches himself, clawing the air and coughing like a newborn.
他慢慢地、犹豫地打开身体，伸展身体，抓着空气，像新生儿一样咳嗽。
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub with Otis wet and dripping in my arms, I'm always overcome with the same vision-- Donald clutching a newly revived Otis, his face slick with tears, transformed from a man twisted inside out with grief to someone awestruck at the realization that our worst mistakes can be retrieved-- that death can be traded in for life, that what has been destroyed can be made whole again.
坐在浴缸边，怀里抱着浑身湿漉漉、滴着水的奥蒂斯，我总是被同一个愿景所征服——唐纳德紧紧抓住刚刚复活的奥蒂斯，他的脸上挂满了泪水，从一个因悲伤而从里到外扭曲的人变成了一个对我们最严重的错误可以挽回感到敬畏的人——死亡可以换来生命，被摧毁的东西可以再次变得完整。
With a sudden surge, Otis struggles to get out of my lap.
奥蒂斯突然猛地一猛，挣扎着从我的腿上爬起来。
He is an armadillo and there is exploring to do.
他是一只犰狳，需要探索。
I let him down and watch him slide around on the linoleum and try to push the toilet off its base, and I feel a small, bitter joy lodge in my heart.
我把他放了下来，看着他在油毡上滑来滑去，试图将马桶推离底座，我的心里感到一丝苦涩的喜悦。
Otis is resurrected, I whisper.
奥蒂斯复活了，我轻声说道。
I carry him to his room and make sure he is comfortable under his pillow bed.
我把他抱到自己的房间，确保他在枕头床下感到舒服。
And only then will I be able to walk peacefully through the dark, quiet halls of my home, kiss each of my children good night, and lie down next to my wife to sleep.
只有这样，我才能平静地走过家中黑暗、安静的大厅，亲吻我的每个孩子晚安，然后躺在我妻子旁边睡觉。
Brady Udall.
布雷迪·尤德尔.
His short story "Otis Is Resurrected" was first published in Story Magazine.
他的短篇小说《奥蒂斯复活了》首次发表在《故事》杂志上。
It is a work of fiction.
这是一部虚构作品。
No armadillos were harmed in the making of this radio story.
在制作这个广播故事的过程中，没有犰狳受到伤害。
Our program was produced today by Alex Blumberg and myself, and Susan Burton, Blue Chevigny, and Julie Snyder.
今天我们的节目由 Alex Blumberg 和我本人、Susan Burton、Blue Chevigny 和 Julie Snyder 制作。
Our technical director is Matt Tierney, production help from Alvin Melathe.
我们的技术总监是 Matt Tierney，生产助理是 Alvin Melathe。
In the years since we first broadcast our story in Act Two about Veronica Chater's macaw, she has published a memoir, which includes "Life with a Macaw." It's called Waiting for the Apocalypse.
自从我们在第二幕中首次播出有关维罗妮卡·查特金刚鹦鹉的故事以来，她出版了一本回忆录，其中包括《与金刚鹦鹉的生活》。它的名字叫《等待世界末日》。
Special thanks today to the student staff of WWVU in Morgantown in West Virginia, to Mary Zimmerman, to Larry Josephson, to Deborah and Stephen Diggs.
今天特别感谢西弗吉尼亚州摩根敦 WWVU 的学生工作人员、玛丽·齐默尔曼、拉里·约瑟夫森、黛博拉和斯蒂芬·迪格斯。
Our website, ThisAmericanLife.org.
我们的网站 ThisAmericanLife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks as always to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, it's weird.
你知道，这很奇怪。
We've known each other for years, but every time I try to give him a hug, he starts yelling
我们已经认识很多年了，但每次我试图拥抱他时，他都开始大喊大叫
Somebody help me.
有人帮助我。
This stranger is trying to hurt me and I don't know why.
这个陌生人想要伤害我，但我不知道为什么。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
[MUSIC PLAYING] This American Life This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
[音乐播放] This American Life This American Life 与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。