598: My Undesirable Talent - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #598 | December 30, 2022 598: My Undesirable Talent Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 598 集 | 2022 年 12 月 30 日 598：我的不受欢迎的人才 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Biba Struja was in high school in Serbia when he learned he was different from other people.
序言 Ira Glass Biba Struja 在塞尔维亚读高中时发现自己与其他人不同。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Ira Glass We talked about it through an interpreter.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 我们通过翻译谈论了这件事。
He was on the phone from Serbia.
他是从塞尔维亚打来的电话。
He said it was a rainy day.
他说那天是下雨天。
They were going in to weld gates and fences.
他们要进去焊接大门和栅栏。
And his friend touched the fence they were working on and got a shock.
他的朋友碰了碰他们正在修的栅栏，吓了一跳。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Interpreter He told me not to touch anything because there was electricity there.
翻译 他告诉我不要碰任何东西，因为那里有电。
But I touched it with my bare hand, and I didn't feel anything.
但我徒手摸了一下，并没有什么感觉。
Nothing happened.
什么也没发生。
Nothing happened.
什么也没发生。
Interpreter So he didn't believe me that I didn't feel anything, that there was no electricity in the fence.
翻译所以他不相信我说我没有感觉到任何东西，栅栏里没有电。
So he touched it again, but he was shocked again.
于是他再次触碰，却又震惊了。
Then another guy touches the fence, and he was shocked.
然后另一个人触碰了栅栏，他震惊了。
Biba sees this, and he thinks, oh, it's a prank.
比巴看到了这一点，他想，哦，这是一个恶作剧。
They're pretending.
他们在假装。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Interpreter So I touched the fence with both hands again, and I didn't feel anything.
于是我又用双手摸了摸栅栏，没有任何感觉。
And we started fighting.
我们开始打架。
I didn't believe them, and they thought that I was lying.
我不相信他们，他们也认为我在撒谎。
Biba has a genetic mutation where he doesn't sweat.
比巴有一种基因突变，他不会出汗。
That means his skin has a lot less water and so a higher resistance to electricity.
这意味着他的皮肤水分少得多，因此耐电性更高。
He says he does not feel currents that would shock most of us.
他说他并没有感受到会震惊我们大多数人的电流。
And scientists say, yeah, that might be possible.
科学家们说，是的，这是可能的。
This super power does come with that huge downside of not sweating, ever.
这种超能力确实有一个巨大的缺点，那就是永远不出汗。
Having a body that cannot cool itself is really, really miserable.
拥有一个无法自我冷却的身体真的非常非常痛苦。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] Interpreter From May until September, I'm a dead man, basically.
[非英语演讲] 翻译 从五月到九月，我基本上已经死了。
Because of the heat.
因为热。
Interpreter [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
口译员[非英语演讲]。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Interpreter Yes.
口译员 是的。
I need to be next to an air conditioner all day, or I need to be in a wet t-shirt or next to water or something.
我需要整天呆在空调旁边，或者我需要穿着湿 T 恤或靠近水或其他东西。
But the biggest problem with having a special talent like a high resistance to electricity is figuring out what exactly you do with that talent.
但拥有像高抗电性这样的特殊天赋的最大问题是弄清楚你到底用这个天赋做什么。
You can't just put on a costume and join the X-Men.
你不能穿上戏服就加入 X 战警。
Until the day that mankind is threatened by an alien race whose bodies are electric charges, you really aren't much use as a superhero.
直到人类受到身体带有电荷的外星种族的威胁的那一天之前，你作为超级英雄真的没有多大用处。
Biba's brother has the same genetic mutation, and he decided to do nothing with it.
Biba 的兄弟也有同样的基因突变，他决定不采取任何行动。
He stayed on the family farm.
他留在了家庭农场。
But Biba was sure there must be a way to monetize this.
但 Biba 确信一定有办法将其货币化。
So he went into show business, created a little act doing electricity tricks, like this one-- he sticks a fork in each end of a hot dog, holds the hot dog in midair in front of his face, one hand on each fork, and then-- OK, it's not clear exactly what's going on or whether you actually need a genetic mutation to do this trick, but electricity is pumped through the forks and cooks the hot dog.
于是他进入演艺界，创造了一个小表演，表演电力魔术，就像这个一样——他在热狗的两端各插了一把叉子，把热狗举在半空中，放在面前，一只手放在每个叉子上，然后——好吧，目前还不清楚到底发生了什么，也不清楚是否真的需要基因突变才能完成这个魔术，但电流通过叉子泵入并煮熟了热狗。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Ira Glass This is from a really good film that was made about Biba called Battery Man, Biba saying, am I the fastest grill or not?
Ira Glass 这是一部关于 Biba 的非常棒的电影，名叫《电池人》，Biba 说，我是不是最快的烧烤炉？
It just takes a minute or so to cook a hot dog this way.
这样煮热狗只需要一分钟左右。
He toured around Europe doing this act, mostly in discos, he says, sometimes on TV.
他说，他在欧洲各地巡回演出，主要是在迪斯科舞厅，有时也在电视上。
It's not much of a living.
这不算什么生活费。
He's got kids.
他有孩子了。
So he supplements that with a job that also sounds like it's kind of a grind for him-- he does therapeutic massages with electricity, up to 20 a day.
因此，他用一份听起来对他来说也很辛苦的工作来补充这一点——他用电进行按摩治疗，每天最多 20 次。
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH].
[非英语演讲]。
Interpreter I have a certificate as an electrobiotherapist.
口译员 我拥有电生物治疗师证书。
In English, anyway, this word "electrobiotherapist" has the unusual distinction of producing not one hit when you Google it.
无论如何，在英语中，“电生物治疗师”这个词有一个不寻常的区别，就是当你用谷歌搜索它时，不会出现任何搜索结果。
Mostly, you're probably getting the picture-- Biba's special talent does not seem to make him very happy.
大多数情况下，你可能已经明白了——毕巴的特殊才能似乎并没有让他很高兴。
When we talked, he complained about the injustice of being born in Serbia, where people don't understand his special gift.
当我们交谈时，他抱怨出生在塞尔维亚的不公平，那里的人们不理解他的特殊天赋。
In the movie about him, he says sometimes his talent feels like a curse.
在关于他的电影中，他说有时他的才华就像是一个诅咒。
But when I asked him about that, he said, we're all cursed.
但当我问他这个问题时，他说，我们都被诅咒了。
All of us on this planet are in some kind of jail, doing time here.
我们这个星球上的所有人都在某种监狱里，在这里度过时光。
It just depends how long.
这只是取决于多长时间。
It depends on the punishment you get, how long you're on this planet.
这取决于你受到的惩罚，以及你在这个星球上存在的时间。
That's what having a talent like this does to you.
这就是拥有这样的天赋对你的影响。
You end up saying stuff like that.
你最终会说出这样的话。
It seems sometimes like our entire culture is about glorifying people who have incredible special abilities.
有时，我们的整个文化似乎都是在颂扬那些拥有令人难以置信的特殊能力的人。
We have superhero films.
我们有超级英雄电影。
We have magazine articles on inspiringly great musicians and writers, then tech billionaires who invent whole new kinds of businesses.
我们的杂志文章介绍了鼓舞人心的伟大音乐家和作家，以及发明了全新业务的科技亿万富翁。
Today, we are not going to be talking about those people.
今天，我们不打算谈论那些人。
For once, let us look at the less fortunate super-talented-- and by that I mean people who are gifted, but gifted with skills that just don't help anyone that much.
这一次，让我们看看那些不幸的超级天才——我指的是那些有天赋的人，但他们拥有的技能却对任何人没有多大帮助。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, "My Undesirable Talent." Stay with us.
今天我们的节目《我的不良才能》。留在我们身边。
Act one, "Climb Spree." So we begin today with a man whose special skill was in the criminal arts.
第一幕，“疯狂攀登”。因此，我们今天从一位擅长犯罪艺术的人开始。
Is that a phrase?
这是一个短语吗？
Like, I said that, suddenly it felt very Hogwarts School.
就像，我这么说，突然感觉很霍格沃茨学校。
Anyway, I'm trying to say he had a real gift for committing crimes.
不管怎样，我想说的是他确实有犯罪的天赋。
Karen Duffin explains.
凯伦·达芬解释道。
Lou Bronfeld was a cop in San Francisco for 42 years.
卢·布朗菲尔德 (Lou Bronfeld) 在旧金山当了 42 年警察。
He spent 16 of those in the burglary unit.
其中16年是他在防盗部门度过的。
And when he talks about his most memorable cases, there's the one where two teenagers stole koalas from the zoo to impress their girlfriends, and there was a series of remarkable burglaries that all happened in the spring of 2002.
当他谈到他最难忘的案件时，有两个青少年为了给女朋友留下深刻印象而从动物园偷考拉的案件，还有一系列引人注目的入室盗窃案，这些案件都发生在 2002 年春天。
They all fit the same pattern.
它们都符合相同的模式。
The suspect would get into a variety of businesses at night via a skylight or the loft or the attic and then lowering themselves down in some of these businesses, and would take the valuables, and then raise themselves back up, almost like right out of a James Bond movie.
嫌疑人会在晚上通过天窗或阁楼或阁楼进入各种商店，然后在其中一些商店中蹲下来，拿走贵重物品，然后再站起来，就像詹姆斯·邦德电影中的那样。
He appeared to be a career criminal, often left no trace.
他似乎是一名职业罪犯，常常不留痕迹。
Businesses sometimes didn't even know they'd been burglarized until they opened the safe or cash register.
有时，企业甚至不知道自己被盗了，直到打开保险箱或收银机。
But it wasn't just his methods.
但这不仅仅是他的方法。
It was the volume.
这是音量。
Within a month, he'd pulled off dozens of burglaries.
一个月之内，他就破获了数十起入室盗窃案。
You know, we're asking ourselves at work, how is this guy pulling this off?
你知道，我们在工作中问自己，这个人是如何做到这一点的？
He must be something.
他一定是个什么东西。
I mean, he must be Spider-Man.
我的意思是，他一定是蜘蛛侠。
They assigned more cops later at night to the neighborhood Spider-Man mostly hit.
晚上晚些时候，他们向蜘蛛侠袭击最严重的社区派遣了更多警察。
It took two months to catch him.
花了两个月的时间才抓到他。
But in those two months, he'd done 63 burglaries.
但在那两个月里，他犯下了 63 起入室盗窃案。
Lou thinks it was the largest burglary count ever charged by the San Francisco DA's office.
卢认为这是旧金山地方检察官办公室有史以来指控的最大一起入室盗窃案。
Spider-Man had done so much so unusually and in such little time the cops were anxious to finally meet him.
蜘蛛侠做了这么多如此不寻常的事情，在这么短的时间内警察们都急于最终见到他。
They had a sense for who he'd probably be.
他们知道他可能是谁。
Really heavily addicted to a narcotic or he's criminally sophisticated, maybe on parole with a lot of priors.
确实对麻醉品上瘾了，或者他的犯罪经验很丰富，也许在假释期间有很多前科。
We meet this guy, and he didn't fit any of that.
我们遇到了这个人，他不符合任何条件。
The guy had no prior arrests, didn't appear criminally sophisticated at all-- rather, a little naive.
这家伙以前没有被捕过，看上去一点也不具备犯罪经验——相反，有点天真。
Lou says he was a gentleman-- quiet, polite, seemed relieved to have been caught.
卢说他是一位绅士——安静、有礼貌，似乎因为被抓而松了一口气。
They had a hard time connecting the Spider-Man in their heads with the person in front of them, which is a feeling I understand.
他们很难将脑海中的蜘蛛侠与面前的人联系起来，这是我理解的感觉。
Spider-Man is a friend of mine.
蜘蛛侠是我的一个朋友。
During his crime spree, we knew each other from church.
在他疯狂犯罪期间，我们是在教堂认识的。
I was Mormon at the time.
我当时是摩门教徒。
He still is.
他仍然是。
The idea that the guy who sat next to me singing "Choose the Right When a Choice Is Placed Before You" was going out every night and lowering himself into stores on ropes?
坐在我旁边唱着“当选择摆在你面前时选择正确”的那个人每天晚上都会出去，把自己降到绳子上的商店里？
How did that make any sense at all?
这有什么意义呢？
You were, like, last on the list of people I would peg for this, you know?
你是我认为的最后一个人，你知道吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Everyone was surprised.
大家都很惊讶。
I was a missionary for my church just over a year before this or so.
在此之前大约一年多，我是我教会的传教士。
Like, a year and a half before this.
比如说，一年半之前。
It was the furthest thing from everyone's mind.
这对每个人来说都是最遥远的事情。
Yeah.
是的。
I know everyone always says, I didn't see it coming.
我知道每个人总是说，我没有预见到它的到来。
But nobody who knew him saw it coming.
但认识他的人都没有预见到它的到来。
He's super capable in this effortless way-- cooking, singing, dancing, sports.
他在烹饪、唱歌、跳舞、运动方面都表现得毫不费力。
If he wasn't so nice, it'd be easy to hate him for it, which is to say, it just felt so unnecessary.
如果他不是那么好的话，人们很容易会因此而讨厌他，也就是说，感觉很没有必要。
He had so many ways to make money.
他有很多赚钱的方法。
Why would he steal it?
他为什么要偷它？
He was so well dressed, so perfectly put together, that the one clue his best friend Juliann spotted that something might be wrong was this--
他穿着如此考究，打扮得如此完美，以至于他最好的朋友朱利安发现可能出了问题的唯一线索是——
I noticed that he had dirt under his fingernails.
我注意到他的指甲下面有污垢。
And I asked him about it because it was very uncharacteristic of him.
我问他这件事，因为这很不符合他的性格。
She was alarmed because he had dirt under his fingernails.
她很震惊，因为他的指甲下有污垢。
At church, people called him the guy with the Italian shoes.
在教堂里，人们称他为穿意大利鞋的人。
He's extremely detailed.
他说得非常详细。
He's more put together than most people feel like they need to be.
他比大多数人想象的更加团结。
Even when he was living in his car, he would have his clothes dry-cleaned.
即使他住在车里，他也会把衣服干洗。
He doesn't want to use his name here on the radio, so we thought we'd call him Peter Parker, or maybe Peter Parkour, since that's his MO.
他不想在广播中使用他的名字，所以我们想叫他彼得·帕克，或者彼得·跑酷，因为那是他的行事风格。
He proposed Peter Park.
他向彼得·帕克求婚。
Sounds more Korean, he said, which he is.
听起来更像韩国人，他说，他就是这样。
We decided to go with just Peter.
我们决定只和彼得一起去。
I'm on the second floor.
我在二楼。
Karen Duffin OK, cool.
凯伦·达芬 好的，酷。
I've been friends with Peter for 15 years.
我和彼得已经是 15 年的朋友了。
And all that time, my understanding of him has had this gap, like a blurry patch on a photo, when it comes to Spider-Man.
一直以来，我对他的理解一直存在这样的差距，就像照片上的一个模糊的补丁，当谈到蜘蛛侠时。
There are so many things I've wondered and just never asked.
有很多事情我想知道但从未问过。
Now, I'd finally get my chance.
现在，我终于得到了机会。
Thanks.
谢谢。
Karen Duffin We're in his apartment in San Francisco-- floor-to-ceiling windows, open kitchen, great neighborhood.
凯伦·达芬 (Karen Duffin) 我们住在他位于旧金山的公寓里——落地窗、开放式厨房、很棒的社区。
He works in sales now, makes good money, has a girlfriend.
他现在从事销售工作，收入不错，有女朋友。
Peter and I talked for hours.
彼得和我聊了几个小时。
And even before this conversation, I knew he became Spider-Man because he had a gambling problem and wanted money for it.
甚至在这次谈话之前，我就知道他成为蜘蛛侠是因为他有赌博问题并且想要钱。
But I had no idea how extreme his gambling was.
但我不知道他的赌博有多极端。
A week before he left for college, he lost his entire college fund, thousands of dollars.
在他上大学前一周，他损失了全部大学基金，数千美元。
In his early 20s, he was going to the casino almost every day, losing every last penny.
20出头的时候，他几乎每天都去赌场，输得精光。
My whole mindset was what am I gonna eat?
我的整个想法就是我要吃什么？
How will I pay my rent?
我将如何支付房租？
Can I still put gas in the car to get to the casino?
我还可以给车加油才能到达赌场吗？
That became a baseline necessity for me.
这成为我的基本必需品。
Food, water, gambling.
食物、水、赌博。
Peter Food, water, gambling.
彼得 食物、水、赌博。
And food and water went away.
食物和水也消失了。
At least I still had gambling.
至少我还有赌博。
If shelter went away, at least I'd still have gambling.
如果庇护所消失了，至少我还会赌博。
That honestly became the center and the focus of my life.
老实说，这成了我生活的中心和焦点。
Of course, lots of people have gambling problems, and lots of people resort to stealing to feed that addiction.
当然，很多人都有赌博问题，而且很多人通过偷窃来满足这种瘾。
But lots of people do not embark on crime sprees so spectacular the cops give them a superhero nickname.
但很多人的犯罪行为并没有那么严重，以至于警察给他们起了一个超级英雄的绰号。
Peter explains what happened this way-- he found himself penniless and weeks behind on rent.
彼得这样解释了发生的事情——他发现自己身无分文，而且还拖欠了好几个星期的房租。
One night, he was closing up at the health club where he worked, and he went to transfer the cash to the safe like every night.
一天晚上，他在工作的健身俱乐部打烊了，他像往常一样去把现金转到保险箱里。
But that night, he thought, oh, I could just borrow this, gamble it, win enough to pay back my landlord, and then replace it by morning.
但那天晚上，他想，哦，我可以借这个，赌一把，赢够钱还我的房东，然后在早上把它换回来。
And so I took it out before I put the money in the safe, and took $200 to the casino, and promptly lost it.
于是我在把钱放进保险柜之前就把它拿出来，拿了200美元到赌场，然后很快就输了。
So that night, I walked out of the casino thinking, am I going to jail?
所以那天晚上，我走出赌场时就想，我会进监狱吗？
For taking the $200.
为了拿走200美元。
Peter That was a big turning point.
彼得 那是一个很大的转折点。
So I was driving home, probably around 2:00 AM.
于是我开车回家，大概是凌晨 2:00 左右。
The bridge was really empty, and I'm thinking, do I jump off the bridge and just end this now?
桥上真的空无一人，我在想，我是不是应该从桥上跳下去，结束这一切呢？
Or can I figure out a way of scraping together $200?
或者我能想办法凑够200美元吗？
How can I do that?
我怎样才能做到这一点？
So I started-- I don't know how the idea entered my head.
所以我开始——我不知道这个想法是如何进入我的脑海的。
But Mission Impossible came to mind, the scene of Tom Cruise entering from the rooftop and being lowered down on some ropes.
但我想起了《碟中谍》中汤姆·克鲁斯从屋顶进入并被绳索放下的场景。
And then he remembered this concession stand at his school, the City College of San Francisco.
然后他想起了他的学校旧金山城市学院的这个小卖部。
He'd bought snacks there.
他在那里买了零食。
It's remote, probably easy to break into.
它地处偏远，可能很容易闯入。
He also remembered that when he worked at a restaurant, they didn't lock the safe.
他还记得，当他在一家餐馆工作时，他们没有锁保险箱。
He hoped the concession stand didn't, either.
他希望小卖部也没有这么做。
And so I went home, got dressed in dark clothes, grabbed mittens because I didn't have any gloves.
于是我回到家，穿上深色衣服，戴上手套，因为我没有手套。
So I was wearing these-- basically like snowboarding mittens.
所以我戴着这些——基本上就像滑雪手套一样。
Like without fingers?
就像没有手指一样？
Peter No fingers.
彼得 没有手指。
No fingers.
没有手指。
Just mittens.
只是手套。
Are you nervous?
你紧张吗？
Are you excited?
你兴奋吗？
Are you scared?
你害怕吗？
Oh, I'm incredibly nervous.
哦，我非常紧张。
Never done anything like this.
从来没有做过这样的事情。
This idea has never crossed my mind, to do anything of this nature.
我从来没有想过要做这种性质的事情。
Honestly, I haven't been back here since that burglary.
老实说，自从那次入室盗窃案之后我就没有再回到过这里。
Wow.
哇。
We're driving up to the concession stand.
我们正开车前往小卖部。
We're looking down into the stadium.
我们正在俯视体育场。
And so just ahead of us now is this concession stand.
现在就在我们前面的是这个小卖摊。
We can probably just pull over right in front of this thing.
我们也许可以把车停在这东西前面。
It's a one-story building, maybe 15 by 15, fully concrete with a rolling window in front where vendors hand out hot dogs and beers during games.
这是一栋单层建筑，大约 15 乘 15，完全混凝土结构，前面有一扇滚动窗户，小贩在比赛期间分发热狗和啤酒。
And I had always been a really good climber, climbed tons of trees as a kid and always loved climbing things.
我一直是一个非常好的登山者，小时候爬过很多树，并且一直喜欢攀爬东西。
So I thought, I can probably find a way to climb on top of this building.
于是我想，我也许能找到办法爬到这座大楼的顶部。
He did.
他做到了。
He found a hatch on top, like a skylight, but it's steel.
他在顶部发现了一个舱口，就像天窗一样，但它是钢制的。
He turned the handle.
他转动了把手。
It was unlocked.
它被解锁了。
He opened it, and he dropped 10 feet into the darkness.
他打开门，然后坠入 10 英尺的黑暗中。
No rope, just jumped.
没有绳子，就跳了。
Had no idea what he was dropping into.
不知道他陷入了什么。
He'd never been in there before.
他以前从未去过那里。
Pretty soon, bingo.
很快，宾果游戏。
There was the safe.
那里有保险箱。
And it was open.
它是开放的。
And there was $5,500 in cash and coins.
还有 5,500 美元的现金和硬币。
And so I bundled it all up, and I took the sweater off that I had brought.
于是我把它们全部包起来，然后脱掉了带来的毛衣。
I hadn't brought a backpack with me.
我没有带背包。
Poor planning.
规划不佳。
Took my mittens off so that I could actually grab all the money, bundled all of the money up in the sweater that I kind of tied the sleeves of the sweater together.
脱掉我的手套，这样我就可以真正抓住所有的钱，把所有的钱都绑在毛衣里，我把毛衣的袖子绑在一起。
And my heart was pumping out of my chest.
我的心快要从胸腔里跳出来了。
He climbed on a table and out the hatch, drove straight back to his work, put the $200 he'd stolen earlier that night into the safe, and went home.
他爬上一张桌子，走出舱门，径直开车回到工作岗位，把那天晚上早些时候偷来的 200 美元放进保险箱，然后回家了。
What's going through your head as you lay down to sleep that night with $5,500 in your bundled-up sweater?
那天晚上，当你裹着 5,500 美元的毛衣躺下睡觉时，你脑子里在想什么？
I was really excited.
我真的很兴奋。
I mean, I'd figured out a way of doing this.
我的意思是，我已经找到了一种方法来做到这一点。
Also thinking, that's the only time that I'm going to do this because now I'll go back to the casino, and I'll win all kinds of money.
我还想，这是我唯一一次这样做，因为现在我将回到赌场，我将赢得各种钱。
And I'll just be able to probably not even gamble again.
我可能再也不会赌博了。
It kind of felt, I guess, at that moment like all of my problems had been solved.
我想，那一刻我感觉所有的问题都已经解决了。
This plan, of course, is crazy.
这个计划当然是疯狂的。
When he took the money to the casino, it did not turn into permanent financial stability.
当他把钱带到赌场时，它并没有转化为永久的财务稳定。
He lost it, all of it.
他失去了一切，失去了一切。
But now, he had a way to get it back.
但现在，他有办法拿回来了。
Now this door had been opened, and I knew that I could do this thing to get money.
现在这扇门已经打开了，我知道我可以做这件事来赚钱。
And with this thought, everything changed.
有了这个想法，一切都改变了。
The transformation from being one of us to being Spider-Man was as simple as he stumbled onto something that worked.
从我们中的一员到蜘蛛侠的转变就像他偶然发现了一些有用的东西一样简单。
And once he found it, he didn't let it go.
而一旦他找到了，他就不会放手。
He started looking at the city with different eyes.
他开始用不同的眼光看待这座城市。
I was now being more observant as I was driving around the city.
当我在城市里开车时，我现在变得更加敏锐。
I would just take a look at the one-story shops.
我只想看看单层商店。
Like, in the next five or so blocks, I did a bunch of burglaries.
就像，在接下来的五个街区左右，我犯了很多入室盗窃案。
We're in the Sunset District.
我们在日落区。
And I knew how many places he'd robbed, but seeing him point to one after another after another kind of blew my mind, made the scale of it seem so much bigger-- a flower shop, a burger joint, a comic book store, a kickboxing gym he climbed into through the skylight.
我知道他抢劫了多少个地方，但看到他指着一个又一个又一个的地方让我大吃一惊，让事情的规模显得更大——一家花店、一家汉堡店、一家漫画书店、他从天窗爬进的一家跆拳道馆。
Yeah, I just imagined all of the students being very angry and coming and kicking my butt with Thai kickboxing.
是的，我只是想象所有的学生都非常生气，用泰拳踢我的屁股。
Further down the block, he points to a series of buildings.
沿着街区继续往下走，他指着一系列建筑物。
One of these places, I had to jump across an alleyway from one building to the other.
其中一个地方，我必须穿过一条小巷，从一栋建筑跳到另一栋建筑。
Almost every news article mentioned that one.
几乎每一篇新闻文章都提到了这一点。
They say he leapt 10 feet between the two buildings.
他们说他在两座建筑物之间跳跃了 10 英尺。
And on the side of one of those buildings--
在其中一栋建筑物的一侧——
I was hanging onto a pipe with one hand, and then trying to climb in through these really thin windows that could probably not support my weight.
我用一只手抓住一根管子，然后试图从这些很薄的窗户爬进去，这些窗户可能无法支撑我的体重。
And I thought I'd probably fall and die.
我想我可能会摔倒而死。
He's pointing at places I've been to in a neighborhood where I used to live, including a cafe we used to go to together.
他指着我曾经住过的社区去过的地方，包括我们曾经一起去的一家咖啡馆。
I had no idea he'd stolen something from that place.
我不知道他从那个地方偷了东西。
Somehow, that never came up.
不知怎的，这从来没有出现过。
At the Noriega Produce Market just a few blocks away--
在几个街区外的诺列加农产品市场——
I actually took a break in the middle of this burglary to eat an ice cream bar.
事实上，我在这次入室盗窃案中休息了一下，吃了一个冰淇淋。
I guess I had gotten so comfortable at this point where I'm like, union break, right in the middle of this thing.
我想我在这一点上已经变得很舒服了，我就像，工会破裂，就在这件事的中间。
But they wrote it in, actually.
但实际上他们写了它。
Yeah, they wrote it into the police report that I had taken an ice cream bar.
是的，他们在警方报告中写到我拿走了一根冰淇淋。
Peter's police report says that, quote, "The manner in which the crimes were carried out indicates planning and sophistication." But if you ask Peter, his primary method was winging it.
彼得的警方报告称，“犯罪的实施方式表明其有计划且复杂。”但如果你问彼得，他的主要方法就是即兴发挥。
He wore whatever he had on, didn't case the interiors of the store in advance-- just chose a place and figured out how to break in.
他穿什么就穿什么，也没有提前观察商店的内部情况——只是选了一个地方，然后想办法闯进去。
He assembled a backpack of misfit tools he'd picked up at random-- garden hose, a carjack, a meat cleaver he used to cut through walls.
他装了一个背包，里面装满了他随意捡到的不合适的工具——花园软管、汽车千斤顶、他用来切墙的切肉刀。
Was there any part of it that was also exciting?
其中还有令人兴奋的部分吗？
Like, fun?
喜欢，好玩吗？
Like, you're good at this.
比如说，你很擅长这个。
It wasn't, honestly.
老实说，事实并非如此。
What I remember about that time in my life is fear, constant fear.
我对那段时间的记忆是恐惧，持续的恐惧。
And I didn't want to have to wake up to do these.
我不想醒来做这些。
Again, every time I did this, it was feeling like, I don't want to do this again.
再说一遍，每次我这样做时，我都会感觉，我不想再这样做了。
This is the last time.
这是最后一次了。
This is it.
就是这样。
I'm done.
我受够了。
I'm done.
我受够了。
He built himself a double life-- worked at the health club during the day, church on Sundays with us, friends on weekends, and an alarm set for 1:00 or 2:00 AM almost every night, when he'd become Spider-Man.
他为自己打造了双重生活——白天在健身俱乐部工作，周日和我们一起去教堂，周末和朋友们在一起，几乎每天晚上都将闹钟设置为凌晨 1:00 或 2:00，那时他就变成了蜘蛛侠。
If he found money, he'd come home, shower, and go straight to the casino, immediately.
如果他找到了钱，他就会回家，洗澡，然后立即前往赌场。
If he didn't, he'd go back to bed and sleep all day.
如果他不这样做，他就会回到床上睡一整天。
As his friend, it was hard to hear that he'd trapped himself in this terrible life.
作为他的朋友，很难听到他让自己陷入了这种可怕的生活。
He says he didn't see it.
他说他没看到。
I don't recall taking a step back and just asking myself, what the heck are you doing?
我不记得后退一步问自己，你到底在做什么？
How's that possible?
这怎么可能？
Like, how is it possible that at no point were you like, what am I doing?
就像，你怎么可能从来没有像我在做什么？
That's a good question.
这是个好问题。
I'm not really sure.
我不太确定。
What I know is I didn't want to look at it, honestly.
我所知道的是，老实说，我不想看它。
I think that was such a frightening thought, to even look into that chasm because there wasn't another option.
我认为这是一个非常可怕的想法，甚至要研究那个鸿沟，因为没有其他选择。
It was just keep doing this, and do as many of these as you have to get some money so that you can go back to the casino.
就是继续这样做，做尽可能多的事情，以获得一些钱，这样你就可以回到赌场。
And this time, maybe you can win enough money so that you can stop doing this.
而这一次，也许你可以赢得足够的钱，这样你就可以停止这样做了。
But there were so many other options, actually.
但实际上还有很多其他选择。
No, it's true.
不，这是真的。
I think I wanted the easiest way possible.
我想我想要最简单的方法。
I mean, I certainly wanted to take the path of least resistance.
我的意思是，我当然想走阻力最小的路。
But do you hear what you're saying?
但你听到你在说什么吗？
Because the path of least resistance does not include climbing through skylights.
因为阻力最小的路径不包括攀爬天窗。
That's not the path of least resistance.
这并不是阻力最小的道路。
That's true.
这是真的。
It took a lot to get me there.
我花了很多功夫才到达那里。
That wasn't something that I just wanted to go do.
那不是我只想去做的事情。
But once I was there, that became the path of least resistance.
但一旦我到达那里，那就成了阻力最小的道路。
It became like a job, but not a good job.
它变得像一份工作，但不是一份好工作。
He got injured all the time.
他一直受伤。
That's Hotei.
那是布袋。
Karen Duffin Oh, this is the old Japanese restaurant.
Karen Duffin 哦，这是一家老日本餐厅。
Yeah.
是的。
That's the Japanese restaurant right there.
就是那家日本餐厅。
One night, he got into this restaurant with another ad-libbed tool.
一天晚上，他带着另一种即兴工具进入了这家餐厅。
He cut the cord off a vacuum cleaner he found, tied it to the roof, and used it to climb down through the skylight.
他剪掉了找到的吸尘器的电线，把它绑在屋顶上，然后用它从天窗爬下来。
He landed on the floor, looked out the window, and saw a police car.
他落在地板上，向窗外望去，看到了一辆警车。
So there are two really large windows in the front of the restaurant.
所以餐厅前面有两个非常大的窗户。
Those are huge windows.
那些是巨大的窗户。
This isn't just like, oh, if you peeked out the window-- and the restaurant isn't big, either.
这不只是像，哦，如果你往窗外看——而且餐厅也不大。
So you're screwed.
所以你完蛋了。
He crawls to the register, gets the cash.
他爬到收银台，取出现金。
Worried he's tripped a silent alarm, he tries climbing back up, but loses his grip and falls 10 feet, breaking a table and some chairs.
由于担心触发了无声警报，他试图爬上去，但失去了抓力，从 10 英尺处跌落，摔坏了一张桌子和几把椅子。
His only option now is the front door.
他现在唯一的选择就是前门。
And so I walk over to the front door.
于是我走到前门。
I unlock it and open it up.
我解锁并打开它。
I take a step out the door.
我走出门去。
And to my left, there is a police officer.
在我的左边，有一名警察。
Immediately, I just reach into the pocket of my jeans, pull out my keys, and act like I'm locking the door.
我立即把手伸进牛仔裤的口袋，掏出钥匙，表现得就像我正在锁门一样。
And I say, hey, good evening, officer.
我说，嘿，晚上好，警官。
And then I walk down the street.
然后我沿着街道走。
As he told me these stories, I could see why Peter would be good at this-- the guy who thinks quickly on his feet, cool under pressure, intuitive.
当他告诉我这些故事时，我明白了为什么彼得会擅长这一点——他思维敏捷，在压力下保持冷静，直觉敏锐。
That night, he went to his best friend Juliann's house, the one who'd notice the dirt under his fingernails.
那天晚上，他去了他最好的朋友朱利安家，朱利安注意到了他指甲下的污垢。
I showed up at her house limping and hunched over and just told her I just need to sleep on your couch.
我一瘸一拐地出现在她家，弯着腰，告诉她我只需要睡在你的沙发上。
And so she knew there was something going on.
所以她知道有事情发生了。
She just didn't know what it was.
她只是不知道那是什么。
And I wasn't about to tell anyone what I was doing.
我不打算告诉任何人我在做什么。
Did you want to?
你想要吗？
Peter I didn't.
彼得，我没有。
I didn't want anyone to know.
我不想让任何人知道。
He didn't want anyone to know for all the obvious reasons.
出于所有显而易见的原因，他不想让任何人知道。
He was ashamed.
他很羞愧。
But also, he told me he was used to pretending he was in control, to pretending he was like everyone else.
而且，他告诉我，他习惯于假装自己掌控一切，假装自己和其他人一样。
Peter was adopted from Korea into a tiny town in Iowa, mostly white, raised by white parents.
彼得从韩国被收养到爱荷华州的一个小镇，大部分是白人，由白人父母抚养长大。
Honestly, I'd forget that I was Korean until someone would point it out and just kind of snap me back into reality sometimes.
老实说，我会忘记自己是韩国人，直到有人指出这一点，有时才让我回到现实。
It left him always feeling like an outsider.
这让他总是感觉自己像个局外人。
He put on the Italian shoes, kept his feelings to himself, and hoped no one would notice he was different.
他穿上意大利鞋，把自己的感受藏在心里，希望没有人会注意到他的不同。
And this is the thing that struck me, talking to him about all this.
当我和他谈论这一切时，令我震惊的就是这一点。
At church, we were all so impressed by how composed Peter was, how well put together, without realizing it was because he was trying so hard to be composed and well put together.
在教堂里，我们都对彼得的镇定和协调能力印象深刻，却没有意识到这是因为他非常努力地保持镇定和协调。
Peter was a really great thief in some ways, and a really dumb one in others.
彼得在某些方面是一位非常出色的小偷，但在其他方面却是一位非常愚蠢的小偷。
He never stopped to think, five dozen burglaries in a row in the same neighborhood during the same hours every day-- wouldn't the cops catch on?
他从来没有停下来思考过，同一街区每天同一时间连续发生五打入室盗窃案——警察不会发现吗？
They did, and caught him.
他们照做了，并抓住了他。
He confessed everything immediately.
他立即承认了一切。
He served some time, came out.
他服刑了一段时间，就出来了。
And now, of course, we all knew he was Spider-Man, and we rallied around him and rooted for him as he built this new life and went to meetings for his gambling addiction.
当然，现在我们都知道他是蜘蛛侠，我们团结在他周围，支持他建立新生活，并参加针对赌博成瘾的会议。
He was more involved in church than ever.
他比以往任何时候都更多地参与教会活动。
But within a year, secretly, he started going back to the casino.
但一年之内，他开始偷偷地回到赌场。
He started stealing again.
他又开始偷窃了。
And this time, he really started to unravel.
而这一次，他真的开始崩溃了。
Any kind of stealing is pretty tawdry.
任何形式的盗窃都是非常庸俗的。
But because Peter never saw his victims face-to-face, the crime felt a little abstract, like robbing a business and not a person.
但由于彼得从未面对面见过他的受害者，因此犯罪感觉有点抽象，就像抢劫企业而不是人。
But one afternoon, he finally committed a crime where he couldn't ignore how ugly it was.
但有一天下午，他终于犯下了一件令他无法忽视的丑恶罪行。
After a failed burglary the night before, he drove around looking for something to swipe in broad daylight.
前一天晚上入室盗窃失败后，他开车四处寻找可以在光天化日之下刷卡的东西。
He hoped to find a stray purse or wallet, but he couldn't.
他希望找到一个流浪的钱包或皮夹，但他找不到。
So when he spotted a young woman walking down the sidewalk with a purse, he made a decision.
因此，当他看到一位年轻女子提着钱包走在人行道上时，他做出了决定。
And so I started walking up behind her.
于是我开始走到她身后。
And the sun was shining towards us.
阳光正照向我们。
So she couldn't see my shadow as I came up behind her.
所以当我走到她身后时，她看不到我的影子。
And I was just walking quickly to try and catch up with her, the whole time just kind of having this inward battle, where I was getting close, and then I slowed down a little bit, and then speeding up.
我只是快步走着，试图追上她，一直以来，我都在进行一场内心的战斗，我已经接近了，然后我放慢了一点，然后加快了速度。
And so finally, I just walked up right behind her.
最后，我走到她身后。
And it's almost as though the second before I touched her purse, it's almost as though I was not in my body when this happened.
就好像在我触摸她的钱包的前一秒，发生这件事时就好像我不在我的身体里一样。
And I observed this from another angle.
我从另一个角度观察到了这一点。
He grabbed the purse, and to his horror, she wouldn't let go.
他抓住了钱包，令他惊恐的是，她不肯放手。
So he spun her around, and she fell to the ground, and he ran off with her purse.
于是他把她转了一圈，她摔倒在地，他拿着她的钱包跑开了。
This is really awful.
这实在是太糟糕了。
The fact that I victimized another human being, it's still such a source of shame.
我伤害了另一个人，这仍然是一种耻辱。
The next day, he tried to steal another purse from a table at Canvas Cafe, the restaurant that he and I used to go to together sometimes.
第二天，他试图从我和他有时一起去的 Canvas 咖啡馆的桌子上偷另一个钱包。
He was arrested and thrown into jail a second time.
他第二次被捕并被投入监狱。
While Peter was behind bars, the guards had heard all about his escapades.
当彼得入狱时，看守们听说了他的越轨行为。
They were a little enamored of him.
他们有点迷恋他。
So they took him to an empty corner of the jail one day and dropped a rope down from the ceiling.
因此，有一天他们把他带到监狱的一个空角落，从天花板上扔下一根绳子。
They wanted to see Spider-Man climb.
他们想看蜘蛛侠攀爬。
He was in, he says, the best shape of his life, was doing hundreds of pull-ups and sit-ups every day.
他说，他正处于一生中最好的状态，每天都会做数百个引体向上和仰卧起坐。
But I could not climb up this rope.
但我无法爬上这条绳子。
And it shocked me, actually.
事实上，这让我震惊。
It shocked me based on how strong I was at that point, that I couldn't do something that simple when I had climbed much, much more than that.
令我震惊的是，我当时的力量是多么强大，当我爬得比这多得多时，我却无法做那么简单的事情。
When I asked him what he thought the difference was, he said desperation.
当我问他认为区别是什么时，他说很绝望。
Sheer desperation.
纯粹的绝望。
That's how he was able to climb up and down ropes and into buildings.
这就是他能够爬上爬下绳索并进入建筑物的方式。
That's how Peter became Spider-Man.
彼得就是这样成为蜘蛛侠的。
Karen Duffin is one of the producers of our program.
凯伦·达芬 (Karen Duffin) 是我们节目的制作人之一。
Her friend Peter, by the way, got heavy-duty treatment for his addiction.
顺便说一句，她的朋友彼得因毒瘾而接受了严格的治疗。
He hasn't gambled since 2004.
自2004年以来，他就没有再赌博过。
Coming up, discovering you can out-Eddie-Murphy Eddie Murphy.
快来吧，发现你可以超越艾迪-墨菲 艾迪·墨菲。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台一分钟后我们的节目仍在继续。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们每周的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's program, "My Undesirable Talent," stories of people who find they have a special skill that has some upsides, but in the end, vexingly, more bad than good.
今天的节目《我的不良才能》讲述了人们发现自己拥有一项特殊技能的故事，这些技能有一些好处，但最终令人烦恼的是，坏处多于好处。
We've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, "Uganda Be Kidding Me."
第二幕，“乌干达，开玩笑吧。”
So in this act, as in the first act, we have another guy who tried something once, kind of almost by accident sort of stumbled onto his special skill, and then ran with it for a while until the problems with it became clear.
因此，在这一幕中，就像在第一幕中一样，我们有另一个人尝试过一次某件事，几乎是偶然地偶然发现了他的特殊技能，然后用它运行了一段时间，直到它的问题变得清晰。
Neil Drumming explains.
尼尔·鼓明解释道。
This story begins when Zora Bikangaga is about to start at a new college.
这个故事开始于佐拉·比坎加加即将进入一所新大学时。
My roommate emailed me first because he was really eager to get to know me.
我的室友首先给我发了电子邮件，因为他真的很想了解我。
And the first question he asked was, your name is awesome, man.
他问的第一个问题是，你的名字很棒，伙计。
Zora Bikangaga.
佐拉·比坎加加。
Where does it come from?
它从哪里来？
Uganda.
乌干达。
Zora's parents are Ugandan.
佐拉的父母是乌干达人。
Zora was born in Fresno.
佐拉出生于弗雷斯诺。
It was the summer before he transferred into Westmont College, a small Christian liberal arts school in Santa Barbara.
那是他转入韦斯特蒙特学院之前的那个夏天，这是一所位于圣巴巴拉的小型基督教文科学校。
Zora was sitting around with his high school buddies talking about this enthusiastic email he had received.
佐拉和他的高中好友坐在一起谈论他收到的这封热情的电子邮件。
The guy was apparently very excited to meet someone like Zora.
这家伙显然很高兴见到像佐拉这样的人。
Zora's friends, who'd known him for years, found this hilarious.
佐拉认识他多年的朋友们觉得这很搞笑。
They were like, dude, he probably thinks you're an international student or something.
他们说，伙计，他可能认为你是国际学生什么的。
You know?
你知道？
Zora Bikangaga.
佐拉·比坎加加。
Who has a name like that?
谁有这样的名字？
You should totally act like you're from Africa.
你应该表现得就像你来自非洲一样。
And so he called me.
于是他打电话给我。
I answered the phone.
我接了电话。
(AFRICAN ACCENT) Hello?
（非洲口音）喂？
Reed!
芦苇！
Reed Stoker?
里德·斯托克？
You are my roommate, huh?
你是我的室友吧？
The accent was sort of a hybrid of Zora's dad and Eddie Murphy in Coming to America, Zora's favorite movie.
这种口音有点像佐拉的父亲和佐拉最喜欢的电影《来到美国》中艾迪·墨菲的混合口音。
Up until then, Zora had only used it to toy with waiters and crack his friends up.
在那之前，佐拉只是用它来玩弄服务员和逗乐他的朋友们。
It was a joke.
这是一个笑话。
Quick comparison-- here's Eddie Murphy.
快速比较——这是艾迪·墨菲。
And now here's Zora.
现在佐拉来了。
Zora Bikangaga (AFRICAN ACCENT) Hello?
Zora Bikangaga（非洲口音） 你好？
Reed!
芦苇！
Anyway, back to our story.
无论如何，回到我们的故事。
Reed Wow, this is crazy.
里德 哇，这太疯狂了。
This dude is straight out of Africa.
这家伙直接来自非洲。
This is Zora's roommate.
这是佐拉的室友。
His name is Reed.
他的名字叫里德。
Even now, he's pretty stoked when he remembers the call.
即使现在，当他想起那个电话时，他还是很激动。
I was like, check this guy's accent.
我当时想，检查一下这个人的口音。
He's like some prince of some lake region.
他就像某个湖区的王子。
So I was excited that I got a very unique roommate to go alongside of my general excitement for going away to college.
因此，我很高兴能有一个非常独特的室友来陪伴我对离开大学的普遍兴奋。
Zora could have shown up on the first day of school speaking in his regular voice.
佐拉本可以在开学第一天出现，用他平常的声音说话。
But his friends back home wanted to see if he could fool Reed face-to-face.
但他家乡的朋友想看看他能否当面愚弄里德。
For that, he'd need more than an accent.
为此，他需要的不仅仅是口音。
I had this shirt on that I got in Uganda.
我穿着这件在乌干达买的衬衫。
It was a very traditional, vibrant print shirt that I got in Kampala.
这是我在坎帕拉买的一件非常传统、充满活力的印花衬衫。
And I was like, all right.
我当时想，好吧。
I'm gonna wear this shirt and these sandals that I got in Africa to look the part.
我会穿上我在非洲买的这件衬衫和凉鞋，让自己看起来很适合。
He figured he'd mess with the guy for a few minutes at the most.
他估计自己顶多只能跟这家伙纠缠几分钟。
But when Zora got to the dorm, Reed wasn't alone.
但当佐拉到达宿舍时，里德并不孤单。
He was there with his dad and his little sister, this white family from Orange County.
他和他的父亲和妹妹一起在那里，这个来自奥兰治县的白人家庭。
And immediately, they were so warm to me and so friendly.
立刻，他们对我就变得如此热情、如此友好。
And I remember his little sister was 13 or 14 at the time.
我记得他的妹妹当时13或14岁。
And she was so interested in Uganda.
她对乌干达非常感兴趣。
And she was so endearing and fascinated by my background.
她对我的背景非常可爱和着迷。
I had never had someone react to me in that way.
我从来没有人对我有过这样的反应。
Zora pulled from his parents' experiences and his limited knowledge of Africa to dazzle Reed's family with descriptions of tribes and exotic animals.
佐拉借鉴了他父母的经历和他对非洲有限的知识，用对部落和奇异动物的描述让里德的家人眼花缭乱。
Again, it could have stopped there.
再说一次，事情本来可以停在那里。
But it was the first day of school, and there were a lot of people who wanted to meet him.
不过今天是开学第一天，想见他的人还不少。
Everyone's around you.
每个人都在你身边。
My RA came in.
我的 RA 进来了。
The neighbors came in.
邻居们进来了。
We were meeting so many people to where I didn't have time to drop the character.
我们遇到了很多人，以至于我没有时间放弃这个角色。
It snowballed.
它像滚雪球一样越滚越大。
Zora stayed in character.
佐拉仍然保持着自己的性格。
He met a bunch of people, all of whom seemed delighted to get to know him.
他遇到了很多人，他们似乎都很高兴认识他。
He was enjoying the warm reception so much that he felt a pang of regret when he was introduced to two Kenyan students, actual African students.
他非常享受这种热情的接待，以至于当他被介绍给两名肯尼亚学生、真正的非洲学生时，他感到一阵遗憾。
He knew the game was over.
他知道比赛已经结束了。
And I was like, all right.
我当时想，好吧。
This is it.
就是这样。
I was introduced to them.
我被介绍给他们。
And they're like, oh, man, you're from Uganda.
他们就像，哦，伙计，你来自乌干达。
I went to Kampala.
我去了坎帕拉。
And we started to talk about Nairobi.
我们开始谈论内罗毕。
And I know about Nairobi because my mom lived there as a teenager.
我了解内罗毕是因为我妈妈十几岁的时候就住在那里。
She actually went to school there.
她实际上在那里上学。
And I spoke a little Swahili.
我会说一点斯瓦希里语。
And they knew a little bit of Luganda, which isn't even my parents' language, but it's the main language in Uganda.
他们懂一点卢干达语，这甚至不是我父母的语言，但它是乌干达的主要语言。
And I guess I knew enough about Uganda to the point where it's like, yeah.
我想我对乌干达已经足够了解了，是的。
They were like, all right.
他们就像，好吧。
Yeah, he's from-- OK.
是的，他来自——好吧。
He's from Uganda.
他来自乌干达。
And I look like I'm from Uganda.
我看起来像是来自乌干达。
That's when it got real to me.
就在那时，它对我来说变得真实了。
And I was like, these two guys think that I'm from Uganda, these two Kenyans.
我当时想，这两个人认为我来自乌干达，这两个肯尼亚人。
This is a real thing.
这是真实的事情。
I can do this for a long time.
我可以这样做很长时间。
Actually, I could probably get away with this forever.
事实上，我或许可以永远摆脱这一切。
Zora was thrilled and also a bit terrified by his new superpower.
佐拉对他的新超能力感到兴奋，同时也有点害怕。
He was part Storm, part Mystique, but a dude.
他一半是暴风女，一半是魔形女，但他是一个男人。
He needed to talk to the only people who knew his secret identity.
他需要与唯一知道他秘密身份的人交谈。
The first thing I did was I called my best friends back home.
我做的第一件事就是给我最好的朋友打电话回家。
And I was like, they bought it.
我当时想，他们买了它。
And they're like, oh, that's hilarious!
他们就像，哦，这太搞笑了！
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand.
我当时想，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不。你不明白。
Everyone thinks that I'm this guy.
每个人都认为我就是这个人。
I was kind of freaking out on the phone with them.
和他们通电话时我有点害怕。
And they were like, no this is-- they thought it was so funny.
他们说，不，这不是——他们认为这很有趣。
And I was like, no, you don't understand.
我当时想，不，你不明白。
This is a small school.
这是一所小学校。
And the orientation leaders think that I'm this guy.
迎新领导认为我就是这个人。
I met like a couple professors.
我遇到的就像一对教授。
You don't understand.
你不明白。
And they're like, you got to keep going with this.
他们说，你必须继续这样做。
You can be a completely different person.
你可以成为一个完全不同的人。
You can have so much fun with this.
你可以从中获得很多乐趣。
Do you understand what you've done?
你明白你做了什么吗？
You've got to see how long you can do it.
你必须看看你能坚持多久。
This is not good advice.
这不是一个好建议。
These are your good friends?
这些是你的好朋友吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, I mean these were guys that I grew up with, that I was close with.
是的，我的意思是这些人是和我一起长大的，和我很亲近的。
But again, they were 18.
但话又说回来，他们都18岁了。
I mean, I saw the fun in it.
我的意思是，我看到了其中的乐趣。
Did I want to have the same experience as I did in high school?
我想拥有和高中时一样的经历吗？
No, of course not.
不，当然不是。
High school was rough.
高中生活很艰难。
It was rough for me.
这对我来说很艰难。
Zora spent most of his childhood in a small, very white town in wine country, northern California, called Healdsburg.
佐拉童年的大部分时间是在加利福尼亚州北部葡萄酒之乡希尔兹堡的一个白色小镇度过的。
His father was a cardiovascular surgeon.
他的父亲是一名心血管外科医生。
And Healdsburg was exactly the kind of place where you'd expect the son of a successful doctor to blend in and thrive.
希尔兹堡正是那种你会期望一位成功医生的儿子能够融入其中并茁壮成长的地方。
Zora spoke like the other kids in the neighborhood.
佐拉说话的方式和附近的其他孩子一样。
He played like the other kids in the neighborhood.
他和附近的其他孩子一样玩耍。
He just didn't look like the other kids in the neighborhood.
他只是看起来不像附近的其他孩子。
And then there was one other black kid in the town that was adopted, Ben Jackson.
镇上还有另一个被收养的黑人孩子，本·杰克逊。
And he had one arm.
他有一只手臂。
We always used to joke that I was the black kid with two arms, and he was the black kid with one arm, like we didn't have a name.
我们总是开玩笑说我是那个有两只手臂的黑人孩子，他是那个只有一只手臂的黑人孩子，就像我们没有名字一样。
You know?
你知道？
It was like, what up, one arm?
就像，怎么了，一只手臂？
What up, two arms?
两只手臂怎么办？
That kind of thing.
那种事。
I felt bad for him.
我为他感到难过。
As one of the few black kids around, Zora stomached his share of snubs.
作为周围为数不多的黑人孩子之一，佐拉忍受着他的冷落。
He was called colorful names like porch monkey, coon, and spear chucker.
他被称为门廊猴、浣熊和矛卡克等丰富多彩的名字。
Oh, and [BLEEP].
哦，还有[哔]。
Once, a playmate refused to let him use his bathroom for fear his skin color would rub off in the toilet.
有一次，一个玩伴拒绝让他使用浴室，因为担心他的肤色会在厕所里掉掉。
These slights baffled Zora because for the most part, he didn't see himself as being different from his friends.
这些轻视让佐拉感到困惑，因为在大多数情况下，他并不认为自己与朋友们有什么不同。
And because he never talked to his parents about this stuff, it sometimes weirdly fell to his white friends to explain to him exactly what the hell was going on.
因为他从来没有和父母谈论过这些事情，所以有时奇怪的是，他的白人朋友需要向他解释究竟发生了什么。
Like that time in middle school when he was hanging out with his buddies at a neighborhood store, and the clerk made Zora-- only Zora-- empty his pockets to see if he was stealing.
就像中学时，他和朋友们在附近的一家商店闲逛，店员让佐拉——只有佐拉——掏空他的口袋，看看他是否偷窃。
My best friend at the time was like, I can't believe he did that because you're black.
我当时最好的朋友说，我不敢相信他会这么做，因为你是黑人。
And it dawned on me-- that was because I was black.
我突然意识到——那是因为我是黑人。
I really didn't see myself as different than everyone else in that way.
我真的不认为自己在这方面与其他人有什么不同。
And it was just moments like that that was like, you're black.
就在那样的时刻，你是黑人。
You're black.
你是黑人。
You're black.
你是黑人。
In high school, Zora hit it off with a white girl, but the romance was over before it started.
高中时，佐拉与一名白人女孩一拍即合，但这段恋情还没开始就结束了。
She told her dad that she liked me or whatever.
她告诉她爸爸她喜欢我什么的。
And her dad said, if you go out with him, don't ever bother coming back home.
她爸爸说，如果你和他出去，就永远不用回家。
And I was like, wait, she would be disowned for talking to me?
我当时想，等等，她会因为和我说话而被断绝关系吗？
I'm just like my friend Brian.
我就像我的朋友布莱恩一样。
If she went out with my friend Brian, it would have been fine.
如果她和我的朋友布莱恩出去就好了。
Zora went from being frustrated by all the indignities and exclusion to being guarded and distrustful of most people.
佐拉从因所有的侮辱和排斥而感到沮丧，转而对大多数人感到警惕和不信任。
Personality-wise, I'm naturally very extroverted.
就性格而言，我天生非常外向。
But I had to put this barrier around me, I think.
但我想我必须把这个障碍放在我周围。
I mean, not that I was losing my temper all the time or anything like that.
我的意思是，并不是我一直在发脾气或类似的事情。
But I was more closed off, for sure.
但我确实更加封闭。
Zora wasn't happy with this unhappy person he'd become.
佐拉对自己变成这样一个不快乐的人并不满意。
So when he got to Westmont and the opportunity arose to become yet another new person, someone who drew others to him rather than repulsing them, Zora seized it.
因此，当他到达韦斯特蒙特，有机会成为另一个新人，一个吸引别人而不是排斥他的人时，佐拉抓住了这个机会。
I could be extroverted.
我可能很外向。
I could be open and friendly and talk to a lot of different kinds of people and be gregarious and funny, make people laugh.
我可以开放、友好，与很多不同类型的人交谈，合群、有趣，让人们开怀大笑。
And people loved this guy.
人们喜欢这个家伙。
And as it went along, I felt conflicted about it.
随着事情的进展，我感到很矛盾。
But I was also kind of like, this guy is me.
但我也有点想，这个人就是我。
There's a part of me in this guy in that whatever people love about this guy, they love me.
这个家伙身上有我的一部分，无论人们喜欢这个家伙，他们都爱我。
The way that I say my name in American English would be Zora Beacon-gaga or Zora Be-con-gaga.
我用美式英语说我的名字的方式是 Zora Beacon-gaga 或 Zora Be-con-gaga。
But the way that I would say my full name would be (AFRICAN ACCENT) Zora Bikangaga or Muzora Bikangaga, which is the full name.
但我的全名应该是（非洲口音）Zora Bikangaga 或 Muzora Bikangaga，这就是全名。
Muzora Bikangaga.
穆佐拉·比坎加加。
I remember seeing him walk into campus.
我记得看到他走进校园。
And I was like, yes!
我当时想，是的！
Because we always feel that way.
因为我们总是有这样的感觉。
Yes, another black person!
是的，又一个黑人！
A black guy!
一个黑人！
That's awesome!
太棒了！
This is Angie.
这是安吉。
She says everyone at Westmont College seemed to love Zora.
她说韦斯特蒙特学院的每个人似乎都喜欢佐拉。
He had this regalness about him, in bulk.
他浑身散发着一种帝王般的气质。
Everyone was quiet and listened.
每个人都安静地听着。
'Cause with that accent comes a lot of pauses and a lot of thoughtfulness.
因为这种口音带来了很多停顿和很多深思熟虑。
So it was very, like, what is he gonna say?
所以这就像，他会说什么？
Even as a fellow black student, Angie was not immune to thinking of Zora as someone unusual and exciting.
即使作为一名黑人同学，安吉也难免认为佐拉是一个不同寻常、令人兴奋的人。
Oh, he's from another country.
哦，他来自另一个国家。
That resonated more with me because it was more interesting to me that he just wasn't an American black guy.
这更引起了我的共鸣，因为对我来说更有趣的是他不是美国黑人。
I can learn about his culture, where he's from.
我可以了解他的文化，他来自哪里。
That'd be amazing.
那真是太棒了。
So Angie and Zora got very close over the course of the semester.
所以安吉和佐拉在整个学期的过程中关系非常亲密。
She says they were full fledged BFF's.
她说他们是成熟的好朋友。
When they weren't in class, they spent days exploring Santa Barbara together.
当他们不上课时，他们花了几天时间一起探索圣巴巴拉。
They watched movies.
他们看电影。
They played basketball.
他们打篮球。
And they listened to a ton of hip-hop.
他们听了很多嘻哈音乐。
On Angie's 18th birthday, Zora surprised her with a copy of Common's Like Water for Chocolate.
在安吉 18 岁生日那天，佐拉送给她一本《Common's Like Water for Chocolate》给她一个惊喜。
I was so excited.
我很兴奋。
It made my whole birthday that he got me this CD.
他给我送了这张 CD，让我整个生日都高兴极了。
And we would just talk about the lyrics and stuff.
我们只会讨论歌词和其他东西。
And I was like, it's so cool.
我当时想，这太酷了。
Because I'd be like, in Africa, you guys have this?
因为我想，在非洲，你们有这个吗？
You know about Common?
你了解通用吗？
How did you see him?
你怎么看到他的？
On TV?
在电视上？
I was so fascinated.
我太着迷了。
Yeah, she was fascinated with my background.
是的，她对我的背景很着迷。
And so I felt so guilty about that.
所以我对此感到非常内疚。
But also, I was really into her, as well.
而且，我也很喜欢她。
She was beautiful.
她很漂亮。
She was outspoken.
她很直言不讳。
And she was this amazing girl.
她是一个了不起的女孩。
And we got really close.
我们非常接近。
BFF close, but not more.
BFF 很亲近，但也不是更多。
Eddie Murphy I want a woman that's going to arouse my intellect as well as my loins.
艾迪·墨菲 我想要一个能够激发我的智慧和欲望的女人。
Sorry.
对不起。
That was Eddie Murphy again.
那又是艾迪·墨菲。
I couldn't help myself.
我无法自拔。
Zora says he didn't get physically intimate with anyone the entire time he was in character.
佐拉说，在他扮演角色的整个过程中，他没有与任何人有身体上的亲密接触。
He figured if he ever got found out, that would just make his shenanigan seem infinitely more sinister.
他认为，如果他被发现，只会让他的恶作剧显得更加险恶。
Zora kept the facade up for months, almost the whole semester, and no one had a clue.
佐拉（Zora）几个月来一直保持着这种假象，几乎整个学期，没有人知道这一点。
They may have even been predisposed not to have a clue.
他们甚至可能本来就没有任何线索。
Here's Zora's roommate, Reed, again.
又是佐拉的室友里德。
It wasn't just the accent.
这不仅仅是口音的问题。
It's the fact that he's 6' 7".
事实上，他身高 6 英尺 7 英寸。
He was a really dark black guy in a white, rich-kid college.
他是一个非常黑的黑人，在一所白人富家子弟大学里。
And so I think people kind of wanted to know him and were intrigued by him.
所以我认为人们有点想了解他并且对他感兴趣。
And I think in a way, at a Christian school like that, I think people were motivated to proactively show how accepting they were to different kinds of people.
我认为在某种程度上，在这样的基督教学校，我认为人们有动力积极主动地展示他们对不同类型的人的接受程度。
And Zora encouraged them to believe he was different, the right kind of different.
佐拉鼓励他们相信他与众不同，而且是正确的与众不同。
So that was part of your persona, was international student.
所以这是你性格的一部分，是国际学生。
There was no Healdsburg.
没有希尔兹堡。
There was no American home.
没有美国的家。
You came from Uganda to go to school.
你从乌干达来上学。
Well, so here's what happened-- yes, but I had this old '73 Oldsmobile Delta 88 convertible.
好吧，事情是这样的——是的，但我有这辆旧的 73 年奥兹莫比尔 Delta 88 敞篷车。
And it was this old boat.
就是这艘旧船。
And we would drive down to the beach.
我们会开车去海滩。
So I had a bunch of people in the back seat.
所以我的后座上有一群人。
The car was packed.
车上挤满了人。
And there was a yearbook that I forgot under my seat.
还有一本我忘记在座位下面的年鉴。
And there was a girl back there that saw the yearbook.
后面有一个女孩看到了年鉴。
And she started flipping through it.
她开始翻阅它。
And I was like, oh, man.
我当时想，哦，伙计。
I'm done.
我完成了。
I'm done.
我完成了。
They found out that I'm from Healdsburg.
他们发现我来自希尔兹堡。
And she was like, Zora, why are you in this yearbook?
她说，佐拉，你为什么会出现在这本年鉴上？
And I was like, (AFRICAN ACCENT) oh, no. I was a foreign exchange student for a year.
我当时想，（非洲口音）哦，不。我当了一年的外国交换生。
I was with a family.
我和家人在一起。
And so I said I'd been in the States for a year.
所以我说我已经在美国呆了一年了。
And that's why I had the car.
这就是我拥有这辆车的原因。
And they're like, oh, OK.
他们就像，哦，好吧。
And it just went on.
事情就这么继续着。
Were you in college at one point-- this is the first semester-- thinking, God, this is so much better than it used to be?
你在大学里的某个时刻——这是第一学期——想，天啊，这比以前好多了？
Or did you think, this is worse in a different way?
或者您是否认为这在其他方面更糟糕？
No, it was better.
不，这样更好。
Neil Drumming It felt better.
尼尔打鼓感觉好多了。
100% better.
100% 更好。
Yeah.
是的。
I was having a blast.
我玩得很开心。
Yeah.
是的。
Zora Bikangaga I was getting to know people.
Zora Bikangaga 我正在结识一些人。
I was hanging out with girls.
我和女孩们一起出去玩。
I like to dance.
我喜欢跳舞。
And so people got a kick out of that, me going in the circle and doing the Roger Rabbit or something like that.
所以人们会从中得到乐趣，我会绕圈做“兔子罗杰”或类似的事情。
They're like, where did you learn that?
他们就像，你从哪里学到的？
So everything was just way cooler as this guy, where I was like, if I did that in high school, they'd be like, all right.
所以一切都像这个家伙一样酷，我想，如果我在高中这样做，他们会说，好吧。
The black kid can dance.
黑人小孩会跳舞。
We know that.
我们知道这一点。
But it was just so cool for me to go in there and do the running man.
但对我来说，去那里演跑男真是太酷了。
They just got a kick out of that.
他们刚刚从中得到了乐趣。
OK, because I remember doing the running man surrounded by white folks.
好吧，因为我记得在白人包围下跑男。
And to this day, that is not a good feeling.
直到今天，这种感觉都不太好。
That's not a pleasant memory that I have.
这对我来说不是一个愉快的回忆。
And I'm just wondering, at any moment, did you think, I don't like the fact that I'm performing?
我只是想知道，在任何时候，你是否认为，我不喜欢我正在表演的事实？
Or was it just too much-- like, people were nice, and it didn't bother you?
或者是太过分了——比如，人们都很好，但这并没有打扰你？
I didn't see it as me purely entertaining them.
我并不认为我纯粹是在娱乐他们。
I felt very, very in control of the situation.
我感觉自己非常非常能控制局势。
So if I felt like going in and dancing, that was because I wanted to.
所以如果我想进去跳舞，那是因为我想这么做。
You never want to be that token black guy.
你永远不想成为那个象征性的黑人。
Like, all right, well, I'm the good dancer.
就像，好吧，好吧，我是优秀的舞者。
Yeah.
是的。
Zora Bikangaga But it was different as an African.
佐拉·比坎加加 (Zora Bikangaga) 但作为非洲人，情况有所不同。
It was different.
这是不同的。
It was shocking to them that I knew how to do those things.
让他们震惊的是我知道如何做这些事情。
I mean, it was funny to me.
我的意思是，这对我来说很有趣。
I was like, (AFRICAN ACCENT) yeah, I've seen House Party.
我当时想，（非洲口音）是的，我看过家庭派对。
You know, this is one of my favorite movies.
你知道，这是我最喜欢的电影之一。
As much fun as it was being universally adored, Zora started to get annoyed by how little anyone at his school knew about African culture.
尽管受到普遍的喜爱很有趣，但佐拉开始对他学校里的人对非洲文化了解甚少感到恼火。
He found that he could tell them anything, and they would believe it.
他发现他可以告诉他们任何事情，他们都会相信。
With the people that would ask me stupid questions, I'd push it.
对于那些会问我愚蠢问题的人，我会推动它。
I would straight up say, (AFRICAN ACCENT) yeah, the rose petal thing in Coming to America, that's based on-- it's a thing.
我会直接说，（非洲口音）是的，《来到美国》中的玫瑰花瓣，是基于——这是一件事。
It happens.
它发生了。
He's talking about that scene in the movie where the scantily-clad servants sprinkle rose petals at the prince's feet wherever he walks.
他说的是电影中的一个场景，无论王子走到哪里，衣着暴露的仆人都会向他的脚下撒上玫瑰花瓣。
And they're like, no. And I'm like, yeah.
他们说，不。我想，是的。
And they're like, oh.
他们就像，哦。
I just would really push it.
我只是真的会推动它。
I remember this girl was asking me about my background.
我记得这个女孩问我的背景。
And she was like, do you have any exotic pets at all?
她问，你有什么外来宠物吗？
Is there something?
有什么东西吗？
And I was like, (AFRICAN ACCENT) yeah, like, everyone gets a lion, a cub.
我当时想，（非洲口音）是的，就像，每个人都有一只狮子，一只幼崽。
And you grow up with it, and it becomes your lion.
你和它一起成长，它就成为你的狮子。
And she was like, are you serious?
她说，你是认真的吗？
That's so cool.
太酷了。
I was like, (AFRICAN ACCENT) yeah.
我当时想，（非洲口音）是的。
Do you have a dog?
你有狗吗？
You know, that kind of thing where I was like, wait.
你知道，我当时就想，等等。
They believe me?
他们相信我吗？
I can push this-- she thought that everyone gets a lion?
我可以推动这一点——她认为每个人都有一只狮子？
That's insane.
那太疯狂了。
This is an educated adult or someone that is in college.
这是受过教育的成年人或在大学读书的人。
So why did you decide to come out as a regular black person?
那么你为什么决定以普通黑人的身份出柜呢？
I know, right?
我知道，对吧？
That's such a ridiculous thing to do.
这样做真是太可笑了。
Because I didn't want to do it forever.
因为我不想永远这样做。
It got old to me after a while.
一段时间后，它对我来说就变老了。
I wanted people to know who I was.
我想让人们知道我是谁。
So you stopped telling yourself that this was part of who you were.
所以你不再告诉自己这是你的一部分。
That didn't fly with you forever.
那并没有永远伴随着你。
That can only go so far.
只能走到这一步了。
And especially when I started to learn the pitfalls of being this guy, of the condescending nature, the undermining, the ignorance of Africa or Africans.
尤其是当我开始了解到作为这个人的陷阱、非洲或非洲人的居高临下、破坏性和无知的陷阱时。
That got old to me.
这对我来说已经很老了。
Zora decided to end the prank with a prank.
佐拉决定以恶作剧结束这场恶作剧。
He started with his roommate.
他从他的室友开始。
And so he came in one day.
于是有一天他进来了。
And he was checking our messages.
他正在查看我们的消息。
Because back then, the dorm rooms had landlines.
因为那时候宿舍里都有固定电话。
So he was checking the voicemail.
所以他正在检查语音信箱。
And I was like, yo, did anybody call for me?
我当时就想，哟，有人打电话找我吗？
Did my homies call for me?
我的兄弟们召唤我了吗？
I did this sort of exaggerated American accent.
我用的是这种夸张的美国口音。
He was like, hey, yo, any of my chicks call for me or what?
他就像，嘿，哟，我的任何小鸡呼唤我还是什么？
And I was kind of like, what'd you say?
我当时想，你说什么？
And then he goes, (AFRICAN ACCENT) oh, my American accent.
然后他说，（非洲口音）哦，我的美国口音。
It's very good, no?
非常好，不是吗？
I've been practicing.
我一直在练习。
Yeah it was really good.
是的，真的很好。
Wow.
哇。
And then he came back and was like--
然后他回来了，就像——
Well, what if I told you that I grew up in Healdsburg.
好吧，如果我告诉你我在希尔兹堡长大呢？
And--
还有——
No, but seriously, Reed, I'm not from Africa.
不，但说真的，里德，我不是来自非洲。
I'm from Fresno.
我来自弗雷斯诺。
I was born in Fresno, and I'm not from Uganda.
我出生在弗雷斯诺，我不是乌干达人。
And he just stared at me for-- it seemed like 30 seconds.
他就这样盯着我看——好像有 30 秒。
And he's like, I got to go.
他说，我得走了。
And he left for, like, an hour.
他离开了大约一个小时。
Call it the resilience of youth, but Reed was over it by the time he got back to the dorm room.
这就是年轻人的韧性，但当里德回到宿舍时，他已经克服了这一点。
Zora broke the truth to the rest of his guy friends the same way.
佐拉以同样的方式向他的其他男性朋友透露了真相。
One by one, they came in.
他们一一进来了。
And so I sort of flipped back and forth, like, (AFRICAN ACCENT) how was my accent?
所以我有点来回翻转，就像，（非洲口音）我的口音怎么样？
Was it good?
好吗？
Yeah, but what if I talk like this?
是啊，但是如果我这样说话呢？
I'm totally from Healdsburg.
我完全来自希尔兹堡。
And I revealed myself.
我也暴露了自己。
And the person would stay to see the other person's reaction.
这个人会留下来看看对方的反应。
Eventually, he outed himself in the school newspaper.
最终，他在校报上公开了自己的身份。
Half the school thought it was the brilliant final act of a grand performance art piece, thereby giving Zora another role to play.
一半的学校学生认为这是一场大型表演艺术作品的精彩最后一幕，因此佐拉又扮演了另一个角色。
This is before Borat came out.
这是波拉特出来之前的事。
But they saw me that way, of, like, man, he's a comedic genius.
但他们是这样看我的，就像，他是个喜剧天才。
This was a giant parody and social experiment.
这是一次巨大的模仿和社会实验。
And maybe I played into that a little bit.
也许我也参与其中了一点。
I was like, yeah, yeah.
我当时想，是啊，是啊。
I learned a lot from this.
我从中学到了很多。
And for sure, maybe I leaned into that a little bit.
当然，也许我有点倾向于这一点。
The president of the college called Zora into his office to interrogate him.
学院院长将佐拉叫到办公室审问他。
He wanted to know if he was somehow taking advantage of the school financially.
他想知道他是否在经济上利用了学校。
Was he receiving some scholarship or financial aid package for foreign students that he didn't deserve?
他是否获得了一些他不应得的外国学生奖学金或经济援助计划？
It was like that store in Healdsburg all over again.
这就像希尔兹堡的那家商店一样。
Zora wasn't stealing.
佐拉没有偷窃。
He was guilty only of being black.
他只因自己是黑人而感到内疚。
When it came time to tell Angie the truth, Zora decided to do pretty much exactly what he'd done with his roommate, but a little more tenderly because, you know, he liked her.
当需要告诉安吉真相时，佐拉决定做他对室友所做的几乎一模一样的事情，但更温柔一点，因为，你知道，他喜欢她。
So you let her in.
所以你让她进来了。
Like, you opened the door or whatever.
比如，你打开了门或者其他什么。
She comes over, and you're speaking to her in an African accent.
她过来了，你用非洲口音跟她说话。
And then you stop?
然后你停下来？
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
I just was like, Angie, I'm not from Uganda.
我只是说，安吉，我不是乌干达人。
And I tried to tell her.
我试着告诉她。
I was like, look, you know, we got along as people.
我当时想，看，你知道，我们和睦相处。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
And whatever you liked about me is me.
你喜欢我的就是我。
I wanted to be really honest with Angie because she was the one that I felt the most bad about.
我想对安吉说实话，因为她是我感觉最糟糕的人。
Yeah.
是的。
Zora Bikangaga And so I tried to be more sincere about it.
Zora Bikangaga 所以我试着表现得更加真诚。
He said something like, oh, I think you're hot or cute or something.
他说，哦，我觉得你很性感或者很可爱之类的。
It was something really American, stupid American boy, which to me decreased your level of regalness, in my mind.
这是真正的美国，愚蠢的美国男孩，在我看来，这降低了你的帝王地位。
It made him a whole new person just because of-- I can't remember exactly what he said.
这让他变成了一个全新的人，只是因为——我记不清他到底说了什么。
But whatever he said made him a whole new person to me on top of the fact that your voice is different, on top of the fact that when I'm asking you all these things about where you just came from, none of those have been your experience.
但无论他说什么，对我来说都让他变成了一个全新的人，除了你的声音不同之外，更重要的是，当我问你所有这些关于你来自哪里的事情时，这些都不是你的经历。
They may have been your parents' experiences, but you're making all this stuff.
这些可能是你父母的经历，但这些都是你自己创造的。
All this is made up.
这一切都是编出来的。
Because it was like, you've been acting like an-- and I told him, you should be a professional.
因为你的表现就像——我告诉他，你应该成为一名专业人士。
You've been acting this whole time.
一直以来你都在演戏。
Zora Bikangaga went from being rejected by a white girl because he was black to being rejected by a black girl because he was just black.
佐拉·比坎加加（Zora Bikangaga）从因为他是黑人而被白人女孩拒绝，到因为他只是黑人而被黑人女孩拒绝。
And that's not even the end of it.
这还没有结束。
And the last thing that she said before she stormed off, she was like, and you sound like a white boy, which was her final dagger that she stuck in my heart.
她在冲走之前说的最后一句话是，你听起来像个白人男孩，这是她插在我心里的最后一把匕首。
Identity can be funny at that age.
在那个年纪，身份可能会很有趣。
Maybe you don't like the way people see you.
也许你不喜欢人们看你的方式。
You want to try something new.
你想尝试一些新的东西。
You experiment.
你实验一下。
College kids do it all the time.
大学生总是这样做。
But being black in America is not like being awkward or having the wrong clothes or being bad at sports.
但在美国，黑人并不意味着尴尬、穿错衣服或不擅长运动。
When you're black and someone makes up their mind about you the moment they see you, without you ever having a chance to speak up and announce yourself, it can be so diminishing.
当你是黑人，而别人一看到你就对你下定决心，而你却没有机会大声说出自己的想法，那么这种感觉就会变得很渺茫。
It can be heartbreaking.
这可能会令人心碎。
Hell, it can be life-threatening.
天哪，这可能会危及生命。
Zora wasn't thinking about any of that when he went all Prince Akeem on a whole university.
当佐拉在整个大学里都像阿基姆王子一样时，他并没有想到这些。
He certainly didn't anticipate that being perceived as fresh from Africa would come with its own set of wild assumptions.
他当然没有预料到，被认为是来自非洲的新鲜事物会带来一系列疯狂的假设。
He was just goofing around.
他只是闲逛而已。
He stumbled into a place where he suddenly felt welcome and accepted, and he went with it.
他偶然发现了一个让他突然感到受欢迎和被接受的地方，他就跟着去了。
He clung to it, even if it meant he had to perpetuate a lie.
他坚持下去，即使这意味着他必须继续撒谎。
This new lie felt better than the ones that had been written about him long before he was born because, at least for a while, it felt like it was his to control.
这个新的谎言比他出生前很久就写的关于他的谎言感觉更好，因为，至少在一段时间内，感觉就像是他可以控制的。
It's something any of us might have done, if we had the chops to pull it off.
如果我们有能力的话，这是我们任何人都可能做到的事情。
Neil Drumming is one of the producers of our program.
尼尔·鼓明是我们节目的制作人之一。
Zora Bikangaga, by the way, just this year quit his teaching job and is trying out a new career-- acting.
顺便说一下，佐拉·比坎加加（Zora Bikangaga）今年刚刚辞掉了教师工作，正在尝试新的职业——表演。
Act three, "Disbarred." So one of the things that we realized here at the radio show when we were talking about this week's theme amongst ourselves-- this theme "My Undesirable Talent"-- we realized that most talents have some undesirable side to them.
第三幕，“取消律师资格”。因此，当我们在广播节目中谈论本周的主题时，我们意识到一件事——“我的不受欢迎的人才”——我们意识到大多数人才都有一些不受欢迎的一面。
Case in point, if you're an athlete or a dancer-- and especially if you get to the point where people pay you to do it, you're in the elite, you're that gifted.
举个例子，如果你是一名运动员或舞者——尤其是当你达到了人们付钱给你做这件事的地步，你就属于精英，你就是那么有天赋。
Of course, that is fantastic.
当然，那太棒了。
But one deeply undesirable part of having that kind of talent is that you age out of it.
但拥有这种才能的一个非常不受欢迎的部分是，随着年龄的增长，你就会失去这种才能。
And depending on what you're doing, you can age out of it in your 20s or your 30s.
根据你所做的事情，你可能会在 20 多岁或 30 多岁的时候摆脱这种状态。
I remember teachers saying, dance this like it's the last time you're gonna dance.
我记得老师们说过，跳这支舞就像这是你最后一次跳舞一样。
This is Wendy Whelan, one of the greatest dancers in the world, a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet starting in 1991.
这是温迪·惠兰 (Wendy Whelan)，世界上最伟大的舞蹈家之一，自 1991 年起担任纽约市芭蕾舞团的首席舞者。
She left the New York City Ballet in 2014.
她于2014年离开纽约市芭蕾舞团。
And she talked about the experience of walking away from this job that she loved, that she was a master of, in this radio documentary that I heard.
在我听到的这部广播纪录片中，她谈到了放弃这份她热爱的、她是大师的工作的经历。
And to close out today's show, they gave us permission to play a little excerpt of it here.
为了结束今天的演出，他们允许我们在这里播放其中的一小段片段。
Here we go.
开始了。
The day I slipped-- I slipped in class.
我滑倒的那天——我在课堂上滑倒了。
And I knew I had done something dramatic to the back of my hamstring or hip.
我知道我对我的腿筋或臀部做了一些戏剧性的事情。
And I went ahead, and I went to rehearsal.
我继续去排练。
And I thought, OK, I'll just see how this feels.
我想，好吧，我就看看这感觉如何。
And I started rehearsing.
我开始排练。
And my partner and I slipped again, again re-pulling the same injury in my body that had just happened two hours previous.
我和我的搭档又滑倒了，我的身体再次受到了两小时前刚刚发生的同样的伤害。
And I was just like, oh, my god.
我当时就想，哦，天哪。
Fate is absolutely stepping in right now and giving me a message.
命运现在绝对介入并给我一个信息。
And then I had another rehearsal.
然后我又进行了一次排练。
And I told the powers that be, my ballet mistress and my boss-- I just said, I pulled my hamstring today.
我告诉当权者，我的芭蕾舞老师和我的老板——我只是说，我今天拉伤了腿筋。
And so I'm going to do this, but it's a little bit sore.
所以我打算这样做，但有点痛。
And I'm kind of being a little careful.
我有点小心。
And then I pulled myself out of other repertory that I knew I couldn't do.
然后我把自己从其他我知道自己做不到的剧目中拉出来。
And I was doing the one piece, and the administrative team was like, can you do that bigger and with a little more clarity?
我正在做一件作品，管理团队就想，你能做更大、更清晰一点吗？
And I was just like, uh, actually, no. I can't.
我只是想，呃，实际上，不。我不能。
And it was really just the first time I had to say no. I've always been able-- yes, I can do that.
这确实是我第一次不得不说不。我一直都能——是的，我能做到。
Yes, I can do that.
是的，我可以做到。
Yes, I can do that.
是的，我可以做到。
No, I can't do that anymore.
不，我不能再这样做了。
It's terrifying.
太可怕了。
Yeah, terrifying.
是啊，可怕。
I watched many people retire before me.
我看到很多人在我之前退休。
And I've felt the energy of losing them and them cutting themself away from the company.
我感受到了失去他们以及他们与公司隔绝的能量。
And there's a lot of feelings that go in that.
其中有很多感受。
And I think being the one that's leaving somehow-- I don't know.
我认为作为那个以某种方式离开的人——我不知道。
I imagine it like death a little bit, whereas you look at it, and you're afraid of it.
我想象它有点像死亡，而你看着它，你就会害怕它。
And then you're actually experiencing it, and there's no pain.
然后你就会真正体验到它，并且没有痛苦。
And it's out of your hands.
而且它不在你的掌控之中。
Wendy Whelan, from a documentary called A Dancer Dies Twice , produced by Eleanor McDowall, originally a Falling Tree Production for BBC Radio 4.
温迪·惠兰 (Wendy Whelan) 出自一部名为《舞者死了两次》的纪录片，由埃莉诺·麦克道尔 (Eleanor McDowall) 制作，最初是 BBC 广播四台的 Falling Tree Production 制作。
We have a link to the full half-hour documentary.
我们有完整的半小时纪录片的链接。
I have to say, I usually hate documentaries where there's no narration.
我不得不说，我通常讨厌没有旁白的纪录片。
But this one is so, so good.
但这是非常非常好的。
It's at our website, thisamericanlife.org.
它位于我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
Well, our program was produced today by Jonathan Menjivar.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由 Jonathan Menjivar 制作的。
Our production staff includes Susan Burton, Zoe Chace, Dana Chivvis, Sean Cole, Neil Drumming, Karen Duffin, Emmanuel Dzotsi, Stephanie Foo, Chana Joffe-Walt, David Kestenbaum, Miki Meek, Robyn Smien, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Updike.
我们的制作人员包括 Susan Burton、Zoe Chace、Dana Chivvis、Sean Cole、Neil Drumming、Karen Duffin、Emmanuel Dzotsi、Stephanie Foo、Chana Joffe-Walt、David Kestenbaum、Miki Meek、Robyn Smien、Christopher Swetala、Matt Tierney 和 Nancy Updike。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
[致谢]《This American Life》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks, as always, to our show's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们节目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he showed up at the office this week with a new haircut, kind of a retro one-- really tall, hi-top fade.
你知道，他这周出现在办公室，换了一个新发型，有点复古——非常高，高顶褪色。
(AFRICAN ACCENT) Yeah, I've seen House Party.
（非洲口音）是的，我看过家庭派对。
You know, this is one of my favorite movies.
你知道，这是我最喜欢的电影之一。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。