571: The Heart Wants What It Wants - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #571 | November 25, 2016 571: The Heart Wants What It Wants Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 571 集 | 2016 年 11 月 25 日 571：心所向往 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Do you know where you're going to do this?
序言 Ira Glass 你知道你要在哪里做这件事吗？
Do you know where you're going to ask the question?
你知道你要在哪里问这个问题吗？
Ira Glass Where is it going to be?
Ira Glass 它会在哪里？
What can you say about that?
对此你能说什么？
Some answer.
有的回答。
You're going in a week.
一周后你就要走了。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
So are you freaking out?
那你吓坏了吗？
I'm a little excited.
我有点兴奋。
Ira Glass This man is 76.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 此人现年 76 岁。
I'm not going to say his name here on the radio, because he's hoping that the woman that he wants to marry is not going to get tipped off by some radio or podcast listener that he's about to ask her.
我不会在广播中说出他的名字，因为他希望他想娶的女人不会被某些广播或播客听众告知他要向她求婚。
And he doesn't know what she's going to say.
而且他不知道她会说什么。
He doesn't know.
他不知道。
Which is not usually how that goes down, right?
这通常不是这样的，对吧？
Usually, you ask somebody to marry you, you kind of know.
通常，你向某人求婚，你是知道的。
He's totally shooting in the dark, anxious about what she's going to say.
他完全是在摸黑，担心她会说什么。
And this is somebody who he's had feelings about for a long time.
而且这个人是他已经有好感很久的人了。
I met this girl at a time when I was 17, she was 16.
我17岁的时候认识了这个女孩，她16岁。
She was very popular.
她很受欢迎。
She was one of, you might say, the queens in high school, right?
你可能会说，她是高中女王之一，对吗？
And I didn't have all the confidence and courage that I needed at the time.
而我当时并没有所需要的全部信心和勇气。
And I just felt like I don't I don't measure up.
我只是觉得我不符合标准。
I mean, she can pick any superstar or whatever.
我的意思是，她可以选择任何超级明星或其他什么。
I was a fairly good athlete, but I wasn't a superstar and whatever and stuff like that.
我是一名相当优秀的运动员，但我不是超级巨星之类的。
All right.
好的。
So you didn't do everything you could.
所以你没有尽你所能。
No, I didn't try.
不，我没有尝试。
I just played like, well, hey, we're just friends.
我只是说，好吧，嘿，我们只是朋友。
And then, when it was time to go to the Navy, I just left, took the coward's way out.
然后，当我要去海军的时候，我就离开了，走了一条懦夫的路。
But that experience changed him, he says.
但他说，那次经历改变了他。
When he met his wife, he totally went for it.
当他遇到他的妻子时，他完全同意了。
Didn't want to make the same mistake again.
不想再犯同样的错误。
He and his wife were together for nearly 47 years, had children, who are now grown.
他和妻子在一起近 47 年，育有子女，现已长大成人。
And when his wife died eight years ago, after some time passed, he checked in with this woman from high school.
八年前，当他的妻子去世时，过了一段时间，他又去拜访了这个高中时期的女人。
Well, her husband had died.
嗯，她的丈夫已经死了。
And so this man started flying to the other side of the country to visit her, where she lives now.
于是这个男人开始飞往这个国家的另一边看望她，也就是她现在住的地方。
He stays in the guest room at her house.
他住在她家的客房里。
So the visits there, I would visit her for a week or so, and we hung out everyday, and we just did natural things.
所以去那里的时候，我会去看她一周左右，我们每天都出去玩，我们只是做自然的事情。
And we just went places and what have you.
我们只是去了一些地方，你有什么。
But there was really no intimacy involved, realistically.
但实际上，实际上并没有涉及任何亲密关系。
We were just hanging out, and I believe she was having a good time.
我们只是出去玩，我相信她玩得很开心。
I was having a good time.
我玩得很开心。
You know?
你知道？
But you guys didn't kiss?
但你们没有接吻吗？
Man Well, maybe only once or twice over those years and what have you.
伙计，这些年来也许只有一两次，但你有什么。
And every time we met, it was a friendly kiss on the side of the face, but it wasn't anything like a passionate, real kiss.
每次我们见面时，都是在脸颊上友好地亲吻，但绝不是一个充满激情、真实的吻。
And that happened only once, along the way, once or twice along the way.
这种事只发生过一次，一路上，一路上一两次。
Now, you must have been testing the waters and saying things to figure out where she felt and what her feelings were, right?
现在，你一定是在试水并说一些话来弄清楚她的感受和感受，对吧？
I was trying very hard to find that out along the way, Ira.
一路上我一直在努力寻找答案，艾拉。
And I was getting some mixed signals.
我收到了一些混合信号。
I didn't-- I had a sense on the one hand, when it was all over--
我没有——一方面，当一切都结束时，我有一种感觉——
OK, those mixed signals, she'd hold his hand all the time.
好吧，这些混杂的信号，她会一直握着他的手。
She never hesitated when he would call her and ask to schedule another week-long visit.
当他打电话给她并要求安排另一次为期一周的拜访时，她毫不犹豫。
But at the same time, she seemed very encouraging about him going out with other people, like weirdly encouraging.
但与此同时，她似乎很鼓励他和其他人出去，就像奇怪的鼓励一样。
And she did not seem interested in discussing her feelings towards him.
而且她似乎没有兴趣讨论她对他的感情。
It seemed like any time a question or anything came up that related towards that or went in that direction, she tended to slide away from it a little bit.
似乎每当出现与此相关的问题或任何事情或朝那个方向发展时，她都会倾向于稍微回避它。
That didn't sound good to me either.
这对我来说也不好。
My feeling was that she didn't want you to ask this question.
我的感觉是她不想让你问这个问题。
She doesn't want to have to give you that answer.
她不想给你这个答案。
Yes, I did.
是的，我做到了。
Ira Glass Has she ever said I love you back?
艾拉·格拉斯 她有说过我爱你吗？
No, no. Ira Glass Well, is it possible she just wants to be friends?
不，不。艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 嗯，她有可能只是想和朋友做朋友吗？
Very good possibility.
非常好的可能性。
Ira Glass OK, ladies and gentlemen, I know what you're thinking.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：好吧，女士们先生们，我知道你们在想什么。
This does not sound promising at all.
这听起来一点也不乐观。
And, oh my God, what love struck creatures we all are, wandering around this earth, right?
而且，天啊，我们这些在地球上流浪的生物，受到了怎样的爱的打击，对吧？
Here is a 76-year-old man, a father, a grandfather with the same logic defying feelings dominating him that a teenager has.
这是一位 76 岁的老人，一位父亲，一位祖父，他和一个青少年一样，有着与逻辑不符的情感。
He told me that back in July after years of wondering with this woman, OK, are we always just going to be friends?
在与这个女人多年思考之后，他在七月告诉我，好吧，我们永远只是朋友吗？
Is this ever going to be more than that, he finally told her, OK, look, we're going on a date.
难道事情还不止于此吗？他最后告诉她，好吧，听着，我们要去约会了。
We're going on a date.
我们要去约会。
It's going to be a real date.
这将是一次真正的约会。
Are you up to have a real date with me?
你愿意和我来一次真正的约会吗？
And she said yes.
她说是的。
So how'd that go?
那怎么样？
Man It went well, but it didn't go any differently than all the other dates we went on.
伙计，进展顺利，但与我们进行的所有其他约会没有任何不同。
So nothing really changed?
那么真的什么都没有改变吗？
Man No. So realistically, if I want to be just honest with you and-- I don't know where this can go, what have you, but my feeling is that either she truly wants me to move on, or she's waiting for me to ask this question.
伙计，不。所以说实话，如果我想对你说实话，我不知道这会走向何方，你会怎样，但我的感觉是，要么她真的希望我继续前进，要么她在等我问这个问题。
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗？
That's really where I am.
这确实是我的处境。
And I don't know which one is true.
而且我不知道哪一个是真的。
But you know people, if somebody is interested, they let you know.
但你知道人们，如果有人感兴趣，他们会让你知道。
If a lady is interested, she figures out a way to let you know, right?
如果一位女士感兴趣，她会想办法让你知道，对吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Some people might say, well, hey, she lets you stay at her house.
有些人可能会说，好吧，嘿，她让你住在她家。
I mean, you stay there all week.
我的意思是，你整个星期都呆在那里。
Oh man, you are stuck on this lady.
噢，伙计，你被这位女士迷住了。
Oh my god.
我的天啊。
Well, let's put it this way.
好吧，让我们这样说吧。
That may be the case, but it doesn't change anything that I just want to know that, hey, I did everything I could.
情况可能是这样，但这并没有改变任何事情，我只是想知道，嘿，我已经尽力了。
And that's what I didn't do first time.
这就是我第一次没有做的事情。
That's what I didn't do the first time.
这就是我第一次没有做的事情。
You know, what strikes me is that this is just very inconvenient for you, that you like her so much.
你知道，让我震惊的是，这对你来说非常不方便，而你又那么喜欢她。
That I like her so much?
原来我这么喜欢她？
That that's inconvenient?
那这样不方便吗？
Yeah, yeah, that you're having these feelings, that you're stuck on this lady, it seems like you're in the grip of this thing.
是的，是的，你有这些感觉，你被这位女士困住了，看起来你被这件事掌控了。
You don't even have a choice.
你甚至没有选择。
It defies all good sense.
它违背了所有的理智。
You know all the signs pointing against it.
你知道所有反对它的迹象。
And yet-- and yet you feel like you have no choice.
然而——然而你却觉得你别无选择。
You have to ask this question.
你必须问这个问题。
Oh, I do have to.
哦，我必须这样做。
In truth, I understand that.
事实上，我明白这一点。
I do have to ask the question.
我确实必须问这个问题。
My heart says resolve it.
我的心说解决它。
You know, just resolve it.
知道了就解决吧
And if her heart doesn't want it, then I don't want it with her.
如果她的心不想要，那我也不想和她在一起。
You know?
你知道？
Honestly, over the course of this conversation, I went from thinking that it was a terrible idea for him to ask this woman to marry him next week, to thinking he should totally do it.
老实说，在这次谈话的过程中，我从认为他下周向这个女人求婚是一个糟糕的主意，到认为他完全应该这么做。
He totally convinced me that he needed to hear yes or no once and for all.
他完全让我相信他需要一劳永逸地听到“是”或“否”。
And maybe he was going to get what he wanted, or maybe he was going to be set free, but either one of those was going to be better than just floating around her like he's been, wanting this thing to happen.
也许他会得到他想要的，或者也许他会被释放，但无论哪一个都比像他一样只是漂浮在她身边，希望这件事发生要好。
And then, OK, we talked the next day on the phone.
然后，好吧，我们第二天就通了电话。
And I learned that a weird thing happened in that conversation that he and I had had the day before, which is we switched positions.
我了解到在我和他前一天的谈话中发生了一件奇怪的事情，那就是我们交换了立场。
He had completely convinced me that he should ask her, but I had completely convinced him that he should not, because she wasn't showing enough signs that she loves him, because it seemed doomed on its face.
他完全说服了我他应该问她，但我完全说服了他不应该，因为她没有表现出足够的迹象表明她爱他，因为从表面上看这似乎是注定的。
So the next day, Tuesday, this week, we got on the phone and he told me his new very pragmatic, very sober plan.
所以第二天，也就是本周的星期二，我们通了电话，他告诉我他的新的非常务实、非常清醒的计划。
He's not going to ask her to marry him next week.
下周他不会向她求婚。
He's just going to tell her his feelings, and see if she's open to being in a real, actual, committed relationship.
他只是想告诉她他的感受，看看她是否愿意建立一段真实、真实、忠诚的关系。
This opens the door to get started with a relationship.
这为开始一段关系打开了大门。
I'm not really saying that she would want to go there, but if she does, then the question would be, well, where do we go from there?
我并不是说她想去那里，但如果她想去，那么问题就是，我们该去哪里？
So he flies to his fate this weekend.
所以他这个周末就要飞向他的命运了。
He's asking her Wednesday, he thinks.
他想，他星期三会问她。
"The heart wants what it wants." Emily Dickinson wrote that.
“心想要它想要的东西。”艾米莉·狄金森这样写道。
Though depending on how old you are, you might associate it with Woody Allen or Selena Gomez.
不过，根据您的年龄，您可能会将其与伍迪·艾伦或赛琳娜·戈麦斯联系起来。
Today on our program, people who get stuck on somebody, whether that's a good idea or not, whether they want to or not, people who get stuck, even when the signs are not looking so very good for them at all.
今天在我们的节目中，人们被某人困住了，无论这是一个好主意还是坏主意，无论他们是否愿意，人们都被困住了，即使迹象看起来对他们来说根本不是那么好。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act 1, Jesse's Girl.
第一幕，杰西的女孩。
So here's a great example of the heart wanting what it wants against all reason.
这是一个很好的例子，说明内心不顾一切理由想要得到它想要的东西。
It's the story of a con that lasted for over two decades.
这是一个持续了二十多年的骗局的故事。
And when the con was discovered, there was a trial.
当骗局被发现后，就进行了审判。
And incredibly, some of the people who had been conned testified on behalf of the man who scammed them.
令人难以置信的是，一些被骗的人为诈骗他们的人作证。
They defended the con in court.
他们在法庭上为这一骗局辩护。
Which is to say, that even after the con was over and the truth was revealed, people still bought into it.
也就是说，即使骗局结束、真相大白之后，人们仍然相信它。
NPR's social science correspondent, Shankar Vedantam was so curious about why and talked to some of the victims, including a man who says he got a lot out of being conned.
NPR 社会科学记者 Shankar Vedantam 很好奇其中的原因，并与一些受害者进行了交谈，其中包括一名男子，他说自己从被骗中得到了很多。
Here's Shankar.
这是香卡。
So here's how the con worked.
这就是这个骗局是如何运作的。
Guys around the country signed up for a pen pal service.
全国各地的人们都报名参加了笔友服务。
It would put them in touch with women they could befriend and correspond with.
这将使他们能够与可以交朋友和通信的女性取得联系。
And then they'd start to receive letters.
然后他们就会开始收到信件。
They come from Hillsdale, Illinois.
他们来自伊利诺伊州希尔斯代尔。
Some of them are white, pink, green.
其中一些是白色、粉色、绿色。
Jesse is a sweet, soft spoken man with thick, plastic aviator glasses.
杰西是一个甜美、说话轻声细语的男人，戴着厚厚的塑料飞行员眼镜。
He started receiving the letters in 1985, when he was in his 30s.
1985 年，他开始收到这些信件，当时他 30 多岁。
Back then, he was overweight.
那时，他体重超重。
He'd never had a serious girlfriend, always lived with his parents.
他从来没有过正式的女朋友，总是和父母住在一起。
After his mother died, he spent most of his time taking care of his sick dad and working at his family's restaurant.
母亲去世后，他大部分时间都在照顾生病的父亲并在自家的餐馆工作。
Jesse's favorite letters came from a woman named Pamela.
杰西最喜欢的信来自一位名叫帕梅拉的女士。
Yes, I usually took it at the end of the day, when I got them in the mail, went into my room and laid on my bed and just sat there and read them.
是的，我通常在一天结束时收到邮件，然后走进我的房间，躺在床上，坐在那里阅读它们。
"Dear Jesse, deep down, you know as well as I do that you could be a lot better off than you are if you only had someone on your side, someone who would help you, encourage you, work with you, and stick with you even when things get bad.
“亲爱的杰西，在内心深处，你和我一样知道，如果有人站在你一边，有人会帮助你，鼓励你，与你一起工作，并在事情变得糟糕时坚持你，你会过得比现在好得多。
What I'm talking about, of course, is a true friend, but that kind of person is hard to find today, isn't it?
我所说的当然是真正的朋友，但这样的人现在很难找到不是吗？
Jesse had never met or talked to Pamela, but he was curious.
杰西从未见过帕梅拉，也从未与帕梅拉交谈过，但他很好奇。
He wrote back, telling her a little about himself.
他回信告诉她一些关于他自己的事。
And Pamela replied again and again.
帕梅拉一次又一次地回答。
The letters were typed in a girlish font and signed in a blue pen with big loopy letters.
这些信是用少女字体打出来的，并用蓝色钢笔签署，上面写着大而循环的字母。
In another letter, Pamela wrote, "Just before I sat down to write this letter to you, I was thinking how lucky I am that in this great, big, crazy world I found you.
帕梅拉在另一封信中写道：“就在我坐下来给你写这封信之前，我在想我是多么幸运，在这个伟大、广阔、疯狂的世界里我找到了你。
I hope I can be part of your life for a long time, Darling, and I hope, as time goes by, I'll be able to make you happier and happier."
我希望我能长久地成为你生活的一部分，亲爱的，我希望，随着时间的推移，我能让你越来越幸福。”
This mystery woman seemed to know him.
这个神秘女子似乎认识他。
She made Jesse feel understood.
她让杰西感到被理解。
She made him feel loved.
她让他感受到被爱。
You can tell when you meet a person that they're not superficial.
当你遇到一个人时，你可以看出他并不肤浅。
This is coming from their heart.
这是来自他们的内心。
Everybody's looking for that perfect love and everything, and this pops up.
每个人都在寻找完美的爱情和一切，而这个就出现了。
So I thought, well, could this be something different?
所以我想，好吧，这会有所不同吗？
[LAUGHTER] Shankar Vedantam This was Pamela.
[笑声] Shankar Vedantam 这是帕梅拉。
He was middle aged, balding, and had a small, gray mustache.
他是中年人，秃顶，留着灰色的小胡子。
His real name was Don Lowry.
他的真名是唐·洛瑞。
Was any of it difficult, to come up with these characters?
塑造这些角色有困难吗？
Did the characters bore you?
这些角色让你感到厌烦吗？
I mean, tell me about it as a writing project.
我的意思是，把它作为一个写作项目告诉我。
No. No, I looked at a photograph of a girl and said what kind of girl is this?
不不不，我看了一张女孩的照片，说这是什么样的女孩？
Where is she from?
她来自哪里？
What does she like to do?
她喜欢做什么？
It was fairly easy after a while.
一段时间后就相当容易了。
The first 20 were a little bit rough, but the next 80 were not hard at all.
前20个有点难，但接下来的80个一点也不难。
And you enjoyed making up these characters?
你喜欢塑造这些角色吗？
I loved it!
我喜欢它！
Yeah, I loved it.
是的，我喜欢它。
I admit that.
我承认这一点。
Don died in 2014, but I met him in 2011, in a rundown house in Butler, Pennsylvania.
唐于 2014 年去世，但我是在 2011 年在宾夕法尼亚州巴特勒的一所破旧房子里见到他的。
He was 82.
他82岁了。
If you have trouble understanding Don's voice, it's because he was a lifelong heavy smoker.
如果您无法听懂唐的声音，那是因为他一生都是烟鬼。
The desk in his living room was covered with ash.
他客厅的桌子上满是灰烬。
His sofa smelled of smoke.
他的沙发有烟味。
Don told me he always wanted to be a writer, but his real talent was in being a hustler.
唐告诉我，他一直想成为一名作家，但他真正的天赋在于成为一名骗子。
He always had a scheme going.
他总是有一个计划在进行。
In his early 30s, Don visited Mexico and wrote a traveler's guide where he explained how American men could live cheaply there, pick up women, and get by with rudimentary Spanish.
30 岁出头的时候，唐访问了墨西哥，并写了一本旅行指南，其中解释了美国男人如何在那里过着廉价的生活、泡妞，并能用基本的西班牙语过日子。
It was called Mexico, Bachelor's Paradise.
它被称为墨西哥，单身汉的天堂。
It didn't sell.
它没有卖掉。
And then he tried something most writers would never consider.
然后他尝试了大多数作家永远不会考虑的事情。
He changed the name of the book's author to a woman's name.
他把书作者的名字改成了一个女人的名字。
Sales skyrocketed, he said.
他说，销售额猛增。
Apparently, lonely American men didn't want tips from a guy.
显然，孤独的美国男人不需要男人的建议。
They wanted tips from a girl.
他们想要一个女孩的建议。
Don realized there was a market waiting to be exploited.
唐意识到有一个市场等待开发。
He rented mailing lists from magazines that catered to single men and started writing letters to them, posing as different women.
他从专门针对单身男性的杂志上租用了邮件列表，并开始冒充不同的女性给他们写信。
Men like Jesse were invited to join a club, where in exchange for a small fee, they could receive love letters.
像杰西这样的男人被邀请加入一个俱乐部，只要支付少量费用，他们就可以收到情书。
In a moment of inspiration, Don decided to call the women who wrote the letters angels, Angel Linda, Angel Kristina, Angel Pamela.
在灵感的瞬间，唐决定称呼写下这些字母的女性为天使：天使琳达、天使克里斯蒂娜、天使帕梅拉。
He purchased stock photos of models and printed catalogs with photos and bios for each angel.
他购买了模特的库存照片，并打印了包含每个天使的照片和简介的目录。
Angels came in different flavors.
天使有不同的风格。
Some were compliant, helpless, and pure.
有些人是顺从的、无助的、纯洁的。
Others were raunchy and sent nude photos of themselves.
其他人则不修边幅并发送自己的裸照。
Most were young and all were eager to please.
大多数人都很年轻，而且都渴望取悦他人。
Dream women for a certain kind of man, dreamed up of course by another man.
某种男人的梦想女人，当然是另一个男人的梦想。
In one brochure, Angel Linda Scott is pictured in a one piece swimsuit on her hands and knees.
在一本小册子中，天使琳达·斯科特 (Angel Linda Scott) 身穿连体泳衣，双手和膝盖着地。
Angel Kristina looks like an idealistic woman.
安吉尔·克里斯蒂娜看起来是一个理想主义的女人。
She's shown hugging a tree and holding a flower.
她抱着一棵树，手里拿着一朵花。
I prefer a certain type of man, Kristina says.
“我更喜欢某种类型的男人，”克里斯蒂娜说。
"He can pick up a handful of dark, rich soil and feel a kind of reverence and joy.
“他能捧起一把深色肥沃的泥土，感受到一种崇敬和喜悦。
But he's awfully hard to find."
但他很难找到。”
Don mailed these brochures to men like Jesse.
唐将这些小册子邮寄给像杰西这样的人。
If a man wrote back, Don began sending letters to him as Angel Kristina or Angel Linda.
如果有人回信，唐就会以“天使克里斯蒂娜”或“天使琳达”的身份给他寄信。
Don told me he didn't want members who were just looking for sex.
唐告诉我，他不想要那些只是在寻找性的会员。
He wanted men looking for meaningful relationships, who would be in it for the long haul.
他希望男人能够寻找有意义的关系，并能长期维持这种关系。
He thought this would be better for business and better for the marks.
他认为这对生意和分数都会更好。
A guy, his wife died and he was living alone, he didn't have any friends, that kind of thing.
一个人，他的妻子去世了，他独自一人生活，他没有任何朋友，诸如此类的事情。
He needed this.
他需要这个。
He didn't have anything you or anybody else to cheer him up, nobody.
你或其他任何人都没有任何东西可以让他高兴起来，没有人。
Reject.
拒绝。
These girls would boost their egos, things like, "Oh, your handwriting is so masculine." Things like that, little things gave the guy a boost.
这些女孩会增强她们的自我意识，比如，“哦，你的字迹太男性化了。”诸如此类的小事都给了这个家伙动力。
And they loved it.
他们喜欢它。
After a few letters to Jesse, Pamela let him know that the only thing she wanted was a little help.
在给杰西写了几封信后，帕梅拉告诉他，她唯一想要的就是一点帮助。
"Darling, I want you to know that I really love writing you every day.
“亲爱的，我想让你知道我真的很喜欢每天给你写信。
It has filled a great need in my life and I know I'd be very sad if I had to stop writing to you and being your friend.
它满足了我生活中的巨大需求，我知道如果我不得不停止给你写信并不再成为你的朋友，我会非常难过。
I hope you feel the same way about me and my letters to you.
我希望你对我和我给你的信也有同样的感觉。
I think it's fair and reasonable for me to ask you to help with the expenses of paper, envelopes, postage, photos, and the other things I'll be sending you.
我认为我要求您帮助支付纸张、信封、邮资、照片以及我将寄给您的其他物品的费用是公平合理的。
If you could send me just $10 a week for my letters, I could continue writing every day as I have been.
如果你每周只给我寄 10 美元来买信，我就可以像以前一样继续每天写作。
Jesse was fine with that.
杰西对此很满意。
He figures he sent in $4,000 or $5,000 between 1985 and '88.
他估计 1985 年至 88 年间他寄了 4,000 或 5,000 美元。
It wasn't a big deal to him.
这对他来说没什么大不了的。
My business was prospering pretty well.
我的生意还算顺利。
We ran over $100,000 three years in a row, so it was no problem for me to be sending money and stuff.
我们连续三年的收入超过 10 万美元，所以我寄钱和东西对我来说是没有问题的。
So--
所以——
Pamela often sent Jesse stories about the two of them for a little extra money.
帕梅拉经常向杰西发送有关他们两人的故事，以获取一点额外的钱。
In one, Pamela and Jesse go on a picnic together.
其中一张，帕梅拉和杰西一起去野餐。
In another, he literally rescues her, as a knight in shining armor.
在另一部影片中，他以身着闪亮盔甲的骑士的身份拯救了她。
There's one story that has them both lying on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace.
有一个故事，他们俩躺在壁炉前的熊皮地毯上。
And of course, it goes where you think it will go, if two people are lying on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace.
当然，如果两个人躺在壁炉前的熊皮地毯上，它就会去你想去的地方。
But it's romantic, not explicit.
但这是浪漫的，而不是露骨的。
The language is tame.
语言很温和。
The letter concludes, "I lay beside you and whispered good night, my sweet Darling.
信的最后写道：“我躺在你身边，低声道晚安，我亲爱的。
Let us drift away to paradise in our dreams and wake up together to a new and wonderful day.
让我们一起飘向梦中的天堂，一起醒来迎接新的美好的一天。
I kiss you gently and fall asleep in your arms." OK, obviously cheesy.
我轻轻地吻你，然后在你怀里睡着了。”好吧，显然很俗气。
Don Lowry was not a gifted writer, but he was a gifted manipulator.
唐·洛瑞不是一个有天赋的作家，但他是一个有天赋的操纵者。
When I first heard about the story, I assumed the men who signed up for the letters from the angels must have been such easy marks, so naive.
当我第一次听说这个故事时，我以为那些签收天使信件的人一定是那么容易上当，那么天真。
Who else would buy such absurd fantasies?
还有谁会购买这种荒谬的幻想呢？
But then I read the dozens and dozens of letters that Pamela sent Jesse.
但后来我读到了帕梅拉寄给杰西的几十封信。
He saved them in a large binder, each letter in its own plastic sleeve.
他将它们保存在一个大活页夹中，每个字母都放在自己的塑料套中。
And as I read the letters, I started to understand the power of the psychological tools Don used to hook men like Jesse.
当我读到这些信时，我开始理解唐用来吸引像杰西这样的男人的心理工具的力量。
Most of the letters aren't epic fantasies.
大多数信件都不是史诗般的幻想。
Most are about the minutiae of Pamela's life.
大多数都是关于帕梅拉生活的细节。
She goes to the bank.
她去银行。
She talks to co-workers.
她与同事交谈。
She tells Jesse her thoughts on televangelists.
她告诉杰西她对电视布道者的看法。
Over and over, Pamela tells Jesse how much he means to her.
帕梅拉一遍又一遍地告诉杰西他对她来说有多重要。
She praises him, encourages him.
她表扬他，鼓励他。
When you read the letters one after the other, like Jesse did day after day after day, it paints a picture that feels real.
当你一个接一个地阅读这些信件时，就像杰西日复一日所做的那样，它会描绘出一幅感觉真实的图画。
I felt the Pamela in the letters was a real person, and I knew Don was writing them.
我觉得信中的帕梅拉是一个真实的人，我知道这些信是唐写的。
There were other tricks.
还有其他的伎俩。
In one letter, Pamela asked Jesse to keep a picture of hers nearby as he read her letters, so he would feel she was in the room with him.
在一封信中，帕梅拉要求杰西在读她的信时在附近放一张她的照片，这样他就会觉得她和他一起在房间里。
Jesse put up two photos of her on the wall.
杰西在墙上贴了两张她的照片。
She once sent him a dime.
有一次她寄给他一毛钱。
In that letter, she told Jesse she had just had a strange day.
在那封信中，她告诉杰西她刚刚度过了奇怪的一天。
Another driver bashed her car but didn't leave a note.
另一名司机猛撞了她的车，但没有留下任何痕迹。
Just when it looked like the day couldn't get any worse, she lost her purse.
就在日子看起来糟透了的时候，她的钱包丢了。
Depressed, Pamela spotted this very dime on the street.
帕梅拉沮丧地在街上发现了这一毛钱。
She picked it up, hoping it was a lucky charm.
她捡起它，希望这是一个幸运符。
Later, a little boy showed up with her purse.
后来，一个小男孩带着她的钱包出现了。
A woman called and took responsibility for the car.
一位女士打电话来并负责看管这辆车。
Pamela told Jesse she was giving him her lucky dime.
帕梅拉告诉杰西她正在给他她的幸运一毛钱。
Here's Jesse reading from the end of that letter.
这是杰西正在读的那封信的结尾。
"Keep this dime, Darling.
“亲爱的，留着这一毛钱吧。
Let it always remind you that good people can still come into your life and good things can still happen to you.
让它时刻提醒你，好人仍然可以进入你的生活，美好的事情仍然可以发生在你身上。
And also think of this as a small token of my affection for you.
也把这当作我对你的感情的一个小象征。
If you hold it in your hand and squeeze it hard, you'll feel the warmth of my love coming out of it."
如果你把它握在手里，用力挤压，你就会感受到我的爱的温暖从里面散发出来。”
Yes, I think I did do that and everything.
是的，我想我确实做到了这一点以及所有的事情。
Like I said, Jesse's mother had recently died, and his dad had heart trouble.
就像我说的，杰西的母亲最近去世了，他的父亲有心脏病。
He spent a lot of time looking after him.
他花了很多时间照顾他。
He wrote letters to Pamela, confiding in her about his depression.
他写信给帕梅拉，向她倾诉自己的抑郁症。
She sent him heartfelt letters about bad relationships she'd had.
她给他写了一封衷心的信，讲述了她的糟糕人际关系。
And she told him about visiting her grandfather, who was suffering from dementia.
她告诉他去看望患有痴呆症的祖父的事。
That really took its toll on her, so I bonded with that, knowing that she was going through the same thing that I was.
这确实对她造成了伤害，所以我对此很认同，因为我知道她正在经历和我一样的事情。
Me and her more or less bonded more than any other person I've ever talked to.
我和她的联系比我曾经交谈过的任何其他人都多。
It was like a beacon from outside, like if you were a ship out at sea and you were looking for lighthouse.
它就像外面的灯塔，就像你是一艘在海上寻找灯塔的船一样。
Which they used that in the deal to look for the light and everything and guide yourself towards it, where you know that you'll have safe haven.
他们在交易中用它来寻找光明和一切，并引导自己走向它，在那里你知道你将拥有安全的避风港。
I'm not sure I'm exactly following you.
我不确定我是否完全跟随你。
Is this something from one of the letters, where they basically talk about the lighthouse?
这是其中一封信中的内容吗，他们基本上在信中谈论了灯塔？
Yes, and in fact, I got a little wooden figure of a lighthouse that she sent to me at one time and everything, and said this beacon know that somebody is out there looking out for you and everything.
是的，事实上，我得到了一个灯塔的小木像，她曾经寄给我什么东西，并说这个灯塔知道有人在那里寻找你和一切。
If Jesse had wanted to see it, there were plenty of signs the letters were mass produced.
如果杰西想看的话，有很多迹象表明这些信件是批量生产的。
They looked typed, but the paper doesn't have the indentations that come from typewriter keys.
它们看起来是打字的，但纸张上没有打字机按键的压痕。
The signatures looked like they've been stamped or printed.
签名看起来就像是盖章或打印出来的。
All the specifics in the letters are about Pamela's life.
信中的所有细节都与帕梅拉的生活有关。
In the letters, did Pamela ever ask you how you were handling your mom's death?
在信中，帕梅拉有没有问过你如何处理你母亲的去世？
Not that I remember.
我不记得了。
No, I don't think so.
不，我不这么认为。
In fact, when I read Pamela's letters to Jesse, she never mentions any of the things he's told her.
事实上，当我读帕梅拉写给杰西的信时，她从未提及他告诉她的任何事情。
When Pamela talks about Jesse's life, she switches into generalities.
当帕梅拉谈论杰西的生活时，她变得笼统起来。
"I know you're sad.
“我知道你很难过。
I know you're lonely.
我知道你很孤独。
I know you're having a hard time." The only way the letters are personalized is that Jesse's name is sprinkled throughout, autofilled, like a madlib sheet.
我知道你很难过。”这些字母个性化的唯一方式是杰西的名字散布在各处，自动填充，就像一张 madlib 表格。
To Jesse, it didn't matter.
对于杰西来说，这并不重要。
He saw what he wanted to see.
他看到了他想看到的。
At the time, I wasn't really fully absorbing all of that.
当时，我并没有真正完全吸收所有这些。
I had a lot on my plate, in turmoil with everything that was going on.
我有很多事情要做，对正在发生的一切感到混乱。
So I just read them and I took some like encouragement out of it.
所以我读了它们，并从中得到了一些类似的鼓励。
Did you ever have doubts about what was going on as you were receiving the letters?
当您收到这些信件时，您是否对发生的事情有过疑问？
Well, no, not at the time and everything.
嗯，不，不是当时，也不是所有事情。
Like I said, I was glad to be getting letters from somebody, and even though you're paying money for that because you have blinders on and aren't really paying attention to all of that.
就像我说的，我很高兴收到某人的来信，尽管你为此付了钱，因为你蒙蔽了双眼，并没有真正关注所有这些。
Like I said, when you're not the best looking person in the world, that somebody out of the blue would write right to you and tell you things and build up your spirits and everything and stuff, because everybody looks at you and stuff, it's like the deal with the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
就像我说的，当你不是世界上最漂亮的人时，有人会突然写信给你，告诉你一些事情，鼓舞你的精神等等，因为每个人都看着你什么的，这就像与巴黎圣母院的驼背打交道。
You'll never find anybody that will care for you, but there at the end, he wound up making friends with the people that befriended him and everything.
你永远不会找到任何人会关心你，但最后，他最终与那些曾经帮助过他的人以及一切都成为了朋友。
At a certain point, Pamela became the thing that kept Jesse afloat when he had to work long hours, when he had to close his restaurant and rush his father to the hospital.
在某种程度上，当杰西不得不长时间工作，当他不得不关闭餐馆并赶他的父亲去医院时，帕梅拉成为了他维持生计的人。
Yes, there was one thing that really touched me and everything.
是的，有一件事真正触动了我和一切。
I was telling her I'm ready to give up and everything.
我告诉她我已经准备好放弃一切了。
And she just told me, get back on your feet and everything.
她只是告诉我，重新站起来等等。
So that really was a word of encouragement and everything.
所以这确实是一句鼓励的话。
As Don went on, he realized his members were hooked and he could take the fantasy further, much further.
随着唐的继续，他意识到他的成员们都被迷住了，他可以将这个幻想进一步发展，走得更远。
He invented an epic world for his angels, with a magical backstory and a fantastic future.
他为他的天使创造了一个史诗般的世界，有着神奇的背景故事和美好的未来。
Here's how it worked.
这是它的工作原理。
The angels supposedly lived together in a retreat, hidden away from the world.
据说天使们一起生活在远离尘世的隐居处。
Most were lost souls, escaping drugs and bad men.
大多数人失去了灵魂，逃避毒品和坏人。
These were women who needed a steady hand and a strong shoulder.
这些女性需要稳定的手和坚强的肩膀。
As he invented more angels, Don came up with interweaving backstories.
当唐发明更多的天使时，他想出了相互交织的背景故事。
Some angels were good, some bad.
有些天使是好的，有些是坏的。
Angels helped one another, backstabbed each other.
天使们互相帮助，互相背后捅刀子。
All the men who signed up to join the Lonely Hearts Club understood they were joining an organization of good hearted men who were devoted to taking care of the angels.
所有报名加入孤独之心俱乐部的人都明白，他们加入的是一个由致力于照顾天使的好心人组成的组织。
The organization was known as the Call.
该组织被称为“召唤”。
Don promised members of the Call that they would one day move with the angels to a valley paradise, into a giant building shaped like a naked woman lying down on the grass.
唐向召唤者承诺，有一天他们会和天使一起搬到山谷天堂，进入一座巨大的建筑，形状像一个躺在草地上的裸体女人。
This lady shaped building would house meeting rooms and auditoriums.
这座女士形状的建筑将设有会议室和礼堂。
The paradise was to be called Chonda-za.
这个天堂被称为Chonda-za。
In exchange for their contributions, the members would have their needs looked after at Chonda-za, all their needs.
作为贡献的回报，成员们的所有需求都将在 Chonda-za 得到满足。
At the center of the entire fantasy was a matriarch, a saintly woman named Mother Maria.
整个幻想的中心是一位女族长，一位名叫玛丽亚母亲的圣洁女性。
Maria collected and managed the money from the members, and she organized and disciplined the angels.
玛丽亚从会员那里收集和管理资金，并组织和纪律天使。
She was said to have mystical powers and could revirginize fallen women.
据说她拥有神秘的力量，可以让堕落的女性重获新生。
There were photos of Mother Maria.
有玛丽亚母亲的照片。
She was beautiful.
她很漂亮。
Maria's photos were actually of a woman named Esther.
玛丽亚的照片实际上是一个名叫埃丝特的女人。
She was Don's wife.
她是唐的妻子。
Not all the members of the Call believed in Chonda-za.
并非所有召唤者都相信乔达扎。
Jesse stuffed the letters describing Chonda-za in the back pocket of the binder.
杰西把描述乔达扎的信件塞进活页夹的后袋里。
He figured it was just some wacky idea Pamela had and just ignored it.
他认为这只是帕梅拉的一些古怪的想法，所以就忽略了它。
But there were other fish who found this Hoque tempting.
但也有其他鱼觉得这种 Hoque 很诱人。
In my mind, I always held this area.
在我心里，我一直占据着这个区域。
I tried not to be convinced 100% about it.
我试着不要百分百相信这一点。
Surely, this was too good to be true.
当然，这太好了，令人难以置信。
This is Ken Blanchard.
这是肯·布兰查德。
He's a big gentle man and was another member of the Call for many years.
他是一个大而温柔的人，多年来一直是“召唤”的另一位成员。
He was single when he joined, and he was still single when I met him in 2012.
他加入时还是单身，2012年我认识他时他也还是单身。
What was the draw?
抽签结果是什么？
What did you tell yourself when you said that this is too good to be true?
当你说这好得令人难以置信时，你对自己说了什么？
Well, I think with me it was the prospect of maybe at least having some sort of communication with some women, maybe my age, maybe a little bit too young for me, maybe even then.
嗯，我认为对我来说，这可能是至少与一些女性进行某种交流的前景，也许是我的年龄，也许对我来说有点太年轻，也许甚至在那时。
But it sounded like a neat idea to be on the leading edge of something like that.
但站在此类事物的前沿听起来是个好主意。
Oh geez, I don't know.
哦天哪，我不知道。
Well-- Ken Blanchard I don't know what else, how else to try to explain my part of it, or belief in it and everything.
嗯——肯·布兰查德（Ken Blanchard） 我不知道还有什么，或者如何尝试解释我的部分，或者对它的信念等等。
They got me hooked on what they were saying and everything.
他们让我着迷于他们所说的话和一切。
And I believed them, so--
我相信他们，所以——
Don got hundreds of new sign-ups every year.
唐每年都会有数百名新注册者。
Millions of dollars flowed back to Don's headquarters in Moline, Illinois.
数百万美元流回唐位于伊利诺伊州莫林的总部。
He bought himself expensive cars, a Rolls-Royce and a Mercedes.
他给自己买了昂贵的汽车，一辆劳斯莱斯和一辆奔驰。
He bought his sons and Esther everything they wanted.
他给儿子们和埃丝特买了他们想要的一切。
He got a big office in downtown Moline and operated a print shop.
他在莫林市中心拥有一间大办公室，并经营一家印刷店。
He hired assistants, salespeople, and ghostwriters to expand his operation.
他聘请了助理、销售人员和代笔人来扩大他的业务。
By the mid-1980s, Don was writing love letters to more than 30,000 men.
到 20 世纪 80 年代中期，唐已经给 30,000 多名男人写了情书。
We had lawyers, doctors, professors, mechanics, bakers, you name it.
我们有律师、医生、教授、机械师、面包师，凡是你能想到的。
All kinds of people were members.
各种各样的人都是会员。
We even had a priest join the Call.
我们甚至有一位牧师加入了召唤。
Really.
真的。
Yeah, a Catholic priest.
是的，一位天主教牧师。
Shankar Vedantam What was he hoping to get out of it?
Shankar Vedantam 他希望从中得到什么？
Who the hell knows?
谁他妈知道？
He was probably just bored.
他可能只是觉得无聊。
To exploit this growing market, Don constantly experimented with new schemes and products.
为了开拓这个不断增长的市场，唐不断尝试新的方案和产品。
He started selling cassette tapes, where the angels flirted with the men.
他开始销售盒式磁带，其中天使与男人调情。
He got into merch-- mugs, puzzles, commemorative coins, all with angels faces printed on them.
他迷上了商品——杯子、拼图、纪念币，所有这些都印有天使的面孔。
And we sent out a pillowcase with Angel Terry's face on it.
我们还送出了一个印有安吉尔·特里 (Angel Terry) 头像的枕套。
And it said, now you can sleep with Angel Terry every night.
上面说，现在你可以每晚和安吉尔·特里一起睡觉了。
The members weren't just sending in cash and checks.
成员们不仅仅寄出现金和支票。
They were sending gifts.
他们正在送礼物。
Ken sent Angel Vanessa a windbreaker.
肯给安琪·凡妮莎送了一件风衣。
Others sent coats and shoes, even gardening equipment so the angels could grow vegetables at their secret retreat.
其他人则送来外套和鞋子，甚至园艺设备，以便天使们可以在他们的秘密隐居处种植蔬菜。
Did you encourage them to send personal items?
您是否鼓励他们寄送个人物品？
Oh God, no, no. I hated that.
天哪，不，不。我讨厌那样。
Here's a guy, his wife died.
这是一个人，他的妻子死了。
And she left all kinds of jewelry and dresses and so on.
而她留下了各种首饰和衣服等等。
He put them in a big cardboard box and mailed it to us.
他把它们放在一个大纸板箱里然后邮寄给我们。
What the hell are we going to do with it, huh?
我们到底要拿它做什么，是吧？
Now, what you wanted, of course, was you wanted them to send a check.
现在，你当然想要他们寄一张支票。
Yeah, of course, or a money order, or cash, anything.
是的，当然，或者汇票，或者现金，任何东西。
Very subtly.
非常巧妙。
I didn't want to hurt their feelings.
我不想伤害他们的感情。
They thought they were doing a great thing for the angels by sending these clothes.
他们认为送这些衣服是为天使做了一件伟大的事情。
I didn't want to hurt them.
我不想伤害他们。
My dad would brazenly just have sidewalk sales, lingerie, and gifts, and jewelry.
我爸爸会厚颜无耻地在人行道上销售内衣、礼品和珠宝。
And my dad would brazenly just be selling the lingerie on racks in front of the print shop.
我爸爸会厚颜无耻地在印刷店门前的货架上出售内衣。
He would actually put up racks on the sidewalk in front of the print shop?
他真的会在印刷店门前的人行道上搭架子吗？
Yep, yep.
是的，是的。
My dad had a very sarcastic and wicked sense of humor.
我父亲有一种非常讽刺和邪恶的幽默感。
A local police officer told me men from all over the country started showing up in Moline, asking where they could find the angels.
当地一名警官告诉我，来自全国各地的人们开始出现在莫林，询问在哪里可以找到天使。
If they found their way to the print shop, Don called the cops on them.
如果他们找到了印刷店，唐就会报警抓捕他们。
Dumbfounded police tried to explain to the men that there was no Angel Vanessa, no retreat, no Chonda-za.
目瞪口呆的警察试图向这些人解释，没有安吉尔·凡妮莎，没有撤退，没有乔达扎。
But occasionally, if Don was in the mood, he'd actually allow them to meet female employees whom he had asked to pose as angels in photos.
但偶尔，如果唐有心情，他实际上会允许他们会见他要求在照片中扮成天使的女员工。
In time, Don even set up events for his most loyal members to meet the angels.
随着时间的推移，唐甚至为他最忠诚的成员举办了与天使会面的活动。
He called them gatherings.
他称这些为聚会。
At a gathering in Chicago, an advice columnist offered dating suggestions.
在芝加哥的一次聚会上，一位建议专栏作家提出了约会建议。
A comedian told jokes.
一位喜剧演员讲笑话。
Angels in yellow green dresses leapt around onstage in an interpretive dance.
身着黄绿色礼服的天使在舞台上翩翩起舞。
Jesse went to the Moline gathering.
杰西去参加莫林聚会。
He was excited to finally meet Pamela.
他很高兴终于见到帕梅拉。
She looked just like she did in her pictures.
她看起来就像照片中一样。
In fact, she was one of Don's employees and her name really was Pamela.
事实上，她是唐的雇员之一，她的名字确实是帕梅拉。
She greeted Jesse warmly.
她热情地向杰西打招呼。
But Jesse's excitement was tempered by the fact that there were a dozen other men at the gathering.
但杰西的兴奋因聚会上还有其他十几个人而减弱。
Jesse was shocked to find that every man thought he was in a personal relationship with Pamela too.
杰西惊讶地发现每个男人都认为他也与帕梅拉有私人关系。
They crowded around her, vying for her attention.
他们聚集在她周围，争夺她的注意力。
And then that's when it dawned on me.
然后我就恍然大悟了。
And I said, hey, this is not what I thought it would be or anything, that it was a rip-off.
我说，嘿，这不是我想象的那样，这是一个诈骗。
Well, that was like getting a kick in the stomach.
好吧，这就像肚子被踢了一脚。
It was upsetting and everything, wasting all that money and this and that and the other.
这一切都令人心烦意乱，浪费了所有的钱，浪费了这个、那个、那个。
And it wasn't what it was meant to be.
但事实并非如此。
It got you down to reality and stuff, so--
它让你回归现实，所以——
Jesse knew that Pamela liked music boxes, so he bought her an expensive one with a tiny record on it that played When the Saints Go Marching In .
杰西知道帕梅拉喜欢音乐盒，所以他给她买了一个昂贵的音乐盒，里面有一张小唱片，播放着《圣徒行进时》。
Pamela loved it.
帕梅拉很喜欢它。
He says she stared at it and let the record play.
他说她盯着它看并让唱片播放。
It went on and on and on.
事情一直持续着。
The other men stood around them and looked at Jesse.
其他人站在他们周围，看着杰西。
They looked at Pamela, then back to Jesse.
他们看看帕梅拉，然后又看看杰西。
He liked that he was making them jealous.
他喜欢他让他们嫉妒。
Jesse didn't blame Pamela.
杰西并没有责怪帕梅拉。
He wasn't exactly sure how the scam worked, but he was sure that the woman standing before him was the same woman who wrote to him, that she was the one who had read his letters.
他不太确定这个骗局是如何进行的，但他确信站在他面前的女人就是给他写信的那个女人，她就是读过他的信的人。
The proof?
证据？
Pamela's dog jumped into his lap.
帕梅拉的狗跳到他的腿上。
She jumped on my lap twice and everything, and that really surprised Pamela and them.
她在我腿上跳了两次，这让帕梅拉和他们感到非常惊讶。
So I guess she smelled my scent on the letters I was writing to her and everything and stuff, so--
所以我猜她在我写给她的信和所有东西上闻到了我的气味，所以——
We got in touch with Pamela to see if she remembered any of this, but she declined to be interviewed on tape for the story.
我们联系了帕梅拉，看看她是否还记得这些，但她拒绝接受有关这个故事的录音采访。
She did confirm that she hadn't written the letters.
她确实确认这些信不是她写的。
Jesse made friends with a couple of other men at the meeting, particularly two guys named Lenny and Al.
杰西在会上与其他几个人成了朋友，特别是两个名叫莱尼和阿尔的人。
They were all like strangers who had independently watched the same soap opera for many years.
他们就像是多年独立观看同一部肥皂剧的陌生人。
And we got to talking about it.
我们必须谈论它。
I said, well, why did you write to this and everything?
我说，好吧，你为什么写这个和所有的东西？
Instead of bonding with the girls, we ended up talking to each other and meeting new friends and talking about the troubles we had.
我们没有和女孩们建立联系，而是互相交谈，结识新朋友，谈论我们遇到的麻烦。
Well, they were just like me and everything.
嗯，他们就像我一样。
So we stayed in correspondence.
所以我们一直保持着书信往来。
Like they said, they wrote me letters and they even called me at my restaurant to ask me how things were going and everything, and finding out, asking about my dad and everything, so that was encouraging to hear somebody calling to want to check on you and everything.
就像他们说的，他们给我写信，甚至在我的餐厅给我打电话，询问我事情进展如何以及一切，并了解情况，询问我父亲的情况和一切，所以听到有人打电话来想要检查你和一切，这是令人鼓舞的。
In other words, they asked about all the personal stuff Pamela never asked about.
换句话说，他们询问了帕梅拉从未问过的所有私人问题。
Lenny and Al stayed in touch until they died.
莱尼和阿尔一直保持联系，直到去世。
What finally brought Don Lowry's scam to an end was a woman named Susan Rosseau.
最终结束唐·洛瑞的骗局的是一位名叫苏珊·罗索的女人。
She was a model that Don had worked with.
她是唐曾合作过的模特。
She'd gotten into a car crash and called Don for help.
她遭遇车祸并打电话给唐寻求帮助。
He showed up at the hospital with a photographer.
他和一名摄影师一起出现在医院。
They unbandaged her wounds and took pictures.
他们为她解开伤口并拍照。
They sent these to all the men who were corresponding with the angel Susan and asked them for help in paying her medical bills.
他们把这些寄给了所有与天使苏珊通信的男人，并请求他们帮助支付她的医疗费用。
But Don didn't give Susan the money.
但唐没有给苏珊钱。
She went to the cops.
她去找了警察。
And she came to our office.
她来到我们的办公室。
She revealed the promises Mr. Lowry had made to her and broken.
她透露了洛瑞先生对她做出的承诺，但又违背了这些承诺。
The return that Mr. Lowry received was staggering in terms of dollars and cents.
洛瑞先生获得的回报是惊人的。
This is Lieutenant Kenneth Rexroth of the Moline police department.
我是莫林警察局的肯尼思·雷克斯罗斯中尉。
He'd been aware of Don Lowry for years.
他多年来一直认识唐·洛瑞。
He turned away many men who would come to the police station in search of the angels.
他拒绝了许多来警察局寻找天使的人。
And he'd been looking for a way to lock Don up.
他一直在想办法把唐关起来。
He was very diabolical.
他非常邪恶。
He's a sinister person.
他是一个阴险的人。
I consider Mr. Lowry to be an evil man.
我认为洛瑞先生是一个邪恶的人。
But thanks to Susan Rosseau, the police finally had evidence to obtain subpoenas.
但多亏了苏珊·罗索，警方终于有了证据来获取传票。
They raided Don's print shop.
他们突袭了唐的印刷店。
They found out that some men sold everything in order to give their life savings to the angels.
他们发现有些人卖掉了一切，以便将毕生积蓄捐献给天使。
One man lived out of his car and forwarded his social security check to his angel.
一名男子住在他的车里，并将他的社会保障支票转交给他的天使。
When the police got in touch with these guys, many of them realized for the first time that their treasured letters were written by a man.
当警方与这些人取得联系时，他们中的许多人第一次意识到他们珍贵的信件是由一名男子写的。
What I turned out to be angry about and more embarrassed about more than anything was the fact that he was even involved, that any man at all was even involved.
结果让我感到愤怒和尴尬的是，他甚至参与其中，任何男人都参与其中。
Again, this is Ken Blanchard, who spent years receiving letters from Angel Vanessa.
再说一遍，这是肯·布兰查德（Ken Blanchard），他多年来一直收到安吉尔·凡妮莎（Angel Vanessa）的来信。
When I found out that these letters I'd been getting all these times and I thought it was some girl sharing something with me, well, then I find out it was him writing the darn thing, I thought, my God, what the hell am I getting into.
当我发现我一直收到这些信时，我以为是某个女孩与我分享了一些东西，然后我发现是他写了这该死的东西，我想，天哪，我到底陷入了什么困境。
But I can laugh about it now, but I think at the time I did have some feelings about that that weren't very charitable.
但现在我可以一笑置之，但我想当时我确实有一些不太仁慈的感觉。
Don's lawyer said that if members believed the angels were real, that was on them.
唐的律师表示，如果成员们相信天使是真实的，那是他们的责任。
As Don told me many years later.
正如唐多年后告诉我的那样。
People believe what they want to believe.
人们相信他们愿意相信的事情。
You cannot dissuade them.
你无法劝阻他们。
Most members believed the angels lived forever in a Never Never Land called the retreat.
大多数成员相信天使们永远生活在一个名为“隐居处”的梦幻岛里。
We told them that they live forever and they never grew old.
我们告诉他们，他们永远活着，永远不会变老。
Does that tell you anything?
这告诉你什么了吗？
Huh?
啊？
Well, you're surprised that they believed you?
嗯，你对他们相信你感到惊讶吗？
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
And it helped them.
这对他们有帮助。
I mean, it made them happy.
我的意思是，这让他们很高兴。
So big deal.
这么大的事。
Don and Pamela were charged with mail fraud, conspiracy, and money laundering.
唐和帕梅拉被指控邮件欺诈、共谋和洗钱。
The press mobbed the trial.
审判过程中媒体围观。
Don was shamed in the press, called a snake oil salesman in People Magazine .
唐在媒体上受到羞辱，被《人物》杂志称为万金油推销员。
Which brings me back to what got me interested in the story in the first place, the thing that really surprised me.
这让我回到了最初让我对这个故事感兴趣的原因，这真的让我感到惊讶。
Many members flew from all over the country to show up at the courthouse in defense of the Call.
许多成员从全国各地飞来法院，为这一呼吁辩护。
Some stood outside with picket signs, defending the brotherhood.
有些人站在外面举着纠察牌，捍卫兄弟情谊。
Jesse and his friend Al were both there.
杰西和他的朋友阿尔都在那里。
As they waited outside the courtroom, Jesse saw Pamela come up.
当他们在法庭外等候时，杰西看到帕梅拉走了过来。
He rushed over to her.
他冲向她。
She was walking up, and I noticed that she was cold, so I took off my jacket and draped it over her shoulders, and we walked all the way up to the courthouse.
她正往上走，我发现她很冷，于是我脱下夹克，披在她的肩上，我们一路走到法院。
I was like a security guard.
我就像一名保安。
And after she went indoors, I took my coat off and I backed off and everything.
她进屋后，我脱掉外套，退后一步等等。
Did she say anything to you at that point?
那时她对你说过什么吗？
No, not really.
不，不是真的。
Shankar Vedantam Members testified on the stand and said the Call had been a critical, beautiful part of their lives.
Shankar Vedantam 成员在证人席上作证，并表示这次呼吁是他们生活中重要而美好的一部分。
One man said letters from the angel saved him from alcoholism and thoughts of suicide.
一名男子说，天使的来信使他摆脱了酗酒和自杀的念头。
Jesse testified too.
杰西也作证。
This is him reading a court transcript of what he said on the stand.
这是他在宣读法庭笔录，记录他在证人席上的发言。
Well, it gave you, like I said, inspiration to continue no matter what the circumstances that you were going through, that if you persevered, you could make it.
嗯，就像我说的，它给了你灵感，无论你正在经历什么情况，都要继续前进，如果你坚持下去，你就能成功。
Do you remember saying this at the trial?
你记得在庭审时说过这句话吗？
Yes, I do.
是的，我愿意。
Shankar Vedantam Would you say that you still stand by what you said at trial?
Shankar Vedantam 您是否仍坚持自己在审判中所说的话？
Yes.
是的。
Shankar Vedantam So here's the thing, Jesse, Don Lowry lied to you and sent you letters on behalf of someone else for many years.
Shankar Vedantam 事情是这样的，杰西，唐·洛瑞对你撒了谎，多年来一直代表别人给你寄信。
And you formed an emotional connection with this woman who was writing to you, when at the same time you showed up at trial to essentially defend Don Lowry.
你和这位给你写信的女人建立了情感联系，同时你出庭为唐·洛瑞辩护。
And I'm trying to understand how and why you did that.
我试图了解你是如何以及为何这么做的。
Well, like I said before, it wasn't actually defending him, but it was actually Pamela that was the one that we were all turned our attention to help, and that meant helping Don also and everything.
好吧，就像我之前说的，这实际上并不是在捍卫他，但实际上帕梅拉是我们所有人都将注意力转向帮助的人，这意味着也帮助唐和一切。
I understand that Don was really the mastermind of the operation.
我知道唐才是这次行动的真正策划者。
But when she showed up at these meetings and she presented herself as the same Pamela who was the Pamela in the letters, wasn't she lying to you?
但当她出现在这些会议上并以信中的帕梅拉的身份出现时，她不是在骗你吗？
Well, I guess you could think about that that way, yes.
嗯，我想你可以这样想，是的。
No, not until now and everything, when all of this has been rebrought out and everything.
不，直到现在和一切，当所有这些和一切都被重新拿出来的时候。
Don and Pamela were both found guilty.
唐和帕梅拉均被判有罪。
Pamela served two years in prison.
帕梅拉在监狱服刑两年。
Don was in prison for 10 years.
唐在监狱里呆了 10 年。
When I met Don, I asked him whether he felt he did anything wrong.
当我见到唐时，我问他是否觉得自己做错了什么。
I think I did something very wrong.
我想我做了一件非常错误的事情。
I suppose I made it a little bit too real.
我想我把它做得有点太真实了。
I did.
我做到了。
I made it too real.
我把它弄得太真实了。
Jesse lives alone now with his dog Chewbacca.
杰西现在和他的狗楚巴卡独自生活。
He's in his 60s and is still single.
他已经60多岁了，仍然单身。
He's had some complications from diabetes recently, and had parts of his foot amputated.
他最近出现了一些糖尿病并发症，并且部分脚被截肢。
It hasn't been easy.
这并不容易。
My producer, Stephanie Foo, visited him at his house in Texas.
我的制片人斯蒂芬妮·符 (Stephanie Foo) 拜访了他位于德克萨斯州的家。
I was in the hospital after my amputation, running around on my knee scooter.
截肢后我在医院里，骑着膝上滑板车到处跑。
I said, you can still do this.
我说，你还可以这样做。
Keep going and everything, so-- and I remember those words she told me.
继续前进，一切，所以——我记得她告诉我的那些话。
"Get on your feet." So I do that and everything and keep going.
“站起来。”所以我就这么做了，然后继续前进。
Wow.
哇。
Even now, even today?
即使是现在，即使是今天？
Jesse Even today and everything and stuff so.
杰西 即使在今天，一切事物也是如此。
But basically, that line, "Get on your feet," it doesn't really matter who wrote it?
但基本上，“站起来”这句话是谁写的并不重要？
No. You think back, but it brings back fond memories of way back when, and you could be in your 100s and everything or older and I hope to have this on my mind on down the line and everything and stuff so.
不，你回想起来，但它会让你回想起很久以前的美好回忆，你可能已经100多岁了，甚至更老了，我希望以后能把这一切都记在我的脑海里。
Jesse still has the little wooden lighthouse Pamela sent him.
杰西还保存着帕梅拉送给他的木制小灯塔。
It's on his dresser in his bedroom.
它在他卧室的梳妆台上。
And he still has two photos of Pamela in his den, one on the wall, one on his desk.
他的书房里还保留着两张帕梅拉的照片，一张挂在墙上，一张放在桌子上。
In one, she's sitting in an office chair, hands in her lap, not glamorous, or sexy, or anything.
在一张照片中，她坐在办公椅上，双手放在腿上，既不迷人，也不性感，什么都没有。
Jesse says she's just sitting there, being herself.
杰西说她只是坐在那里，做她自己。
It's just a little something to say "I made a friend."
说“我交了一个朋友”只是一件小事。
Shankar Vedantam, he's NPR's social science correspondent and host of a brand new podcast called Hidden Brain about the world of unconscious bias in human behavior.
Shankar Vedantam，他是 NPR 的社会科学记者，也是一个名为“隐藏的大脑”的全新播客的主持人，该播客讲述了人类行为中无意识偏见的世界。
You might check out especially episode three about poker and women.
您可以特别查看有关扑克和女性的第三集。
That's Hidden Brain episode 3, wherever you get your podcasts.
这就是《Hidden Brain》第 3 集，无论您在哪里获取播客。
Coming up, romantic feelings popping up aggressively, undeniably in Times Square, on the 405 in Los Angeles.
接下来，不可否认的是，在洛杉矶 405 号公路上的时代广场，浪漫的感觉会猛烈地涌现。
They are everywhere.
他们无处不在。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, The Heart Wants What It Wants.
今天的节目，心所向往。
What happens when you find that whether you like it or not, you're having feelings, big feelings for somebody who is giving you signs that it really might not work out?
当你发现，无论你喜欢与否，你对某个向你暗示可能不会成功的人产生了感情，强烈的感情时，会发生什么？
We first broadcast this show a year ago.
我们一年前首次播出这个节目。
We have arrived at Act 2 of our program, Act 2, My Love is Blue.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕，第二幕，我的爱是蓝色的。
Elsa Waithe is a stand up comedian, young, moved to New York City not that long ago.
艾尔莎·维特 (Elsa Waithe) 是一位年轻的单口喜剧演员，不久前搬到了纽约。
Two years ago, after the policeman who shot Michael Brown was not indicted for killing him, she felt like, OK, that is not right.
两年前，枪杀迈克尔·布朗的警察没有因杀害他而被起诉后，她觉得，好吧，这是不对的。
And she decided to join the protesters who were out demonstrating about the decision and about police behavior.
她决定加入抗议者行列，抗议这一决定和警察的行为。
And at her very first protest, this thing happened she did not expect.
而在她第一次抗议时，她没想到的事情就发生了。
She got a very inconvenient crush on somebody she had no desire to have a crush on.
她爱上了一个她不想爱上的人，这让她很不方便。
And of course, as we have heard this hour, that is something you cannot control.
当然，正如我们今天所听到的，这是你无法控制的。
She talked about this on stage in a storytelling show about crushes.
她在一个关于暗恋的故事节目的舞台上谈到了这一点。
We have a recording from that show that is a little janky but it is totally audible with, as you will hear, a very enthusiastic audience.
我们有一个来自那个节目的录音，虽然有点卡顿，但正如你会听到的那样，非常热情的观众完全可以听到。
If you're listening online or to the podcast of our program, I want to say before we start, we have unbeeped a few curse words here in this online version of the program.
如果您正在在线收听或收听我们节目的播客，我想说在我们开始之前，我们已经在该节目的在线版本中取消了一些脏话。
If you prefer the beeped version of our show, maybe you're listening with little kids, you can get that it's thisamericanlife.org.
如果您喜欢我们节目的嘟嘟声版本，也许您正在和小孩子一起听，您可以知道这是 thisamericanlife.org。
Anyway, here's Elsa.
无论如何，这是艾尔莎。
And so now once we get to Times Square, we've met up with other groups.
现在，一旦我们到达时代广场，我们就会遇到其他团体。
And at this point, it's massive.
在这一点上，它是巨大的。
So we spread across the intersection, and we all sit down.
于是我们分散到十字路口，大家都坐下来。
And sure enough, the riot cops step up.
果然，防暴警察挺身而出。
And the riot police all have the face masks, the face guards.
防暴警察都戴着口罩、面罩。
And a part of me is thinking this is very intimidating.
我内心的一部分认为这非常令人生畏。
And you can't see anybody's face.
而且你看不到任何人的脸。
And they're really big, and it's just one stormtrooper sort of thing of very scary police officers.
他们真的很大，而且只是一个冲锋队之类的非常可怕的警察。
And at this point, you guys, I'm really nervous.
在这一点上，你们，我真的很紧张。
I'm really scared because they've given a dispersal warning and people are getting flustered and people are starting to leave.
我真的很害怕，因为他们发出了驱散警告，人们变得慌乱，开始离开。
And those of us who are sitting down, it's dwindled.
而我们这些坐下来的人，它却在减少。
There's also lots of cameras here, so I've made my stand.
这里也有很多摄像机，所以我已经表明了立场。
I don't want to get up, OK?
我不想起来，可以吗？
[LAUGHTER] People are going to see that.
[笑声]人们将会看到这一点。
And I'm just trying to find a zen place.
我只是想找到一个禅宗之地。
I'm just trying to look around and just find something to focus on, and really all I'm seeing is my reflection in all of these face masks, until I get to one officer, who has not put her face mask down, you guys.
我只是想环顾四周，找到一些可以集中注意力的东西，实际上我所看到的只是所有这些面罩中我的倒影，直到我找到一名警官，她还没有放下面罩，你们这些人。
And it was just the most angelic face.
那是一张最天使般的脸。
It was very delicate inside of this.
这里面是非常微妙的。
And it almost didn't seem like she even wanted to be there.
而且她似乎根本不想去那里。
I was transfixed.
我惊呆了。
And the sergeant, he says line up.
中士，他说排队。
And I realize that they're lining up in front of who they are going to arrest, and she's lined up with me.
我意识到他们在要逮捕的人前面排队，而她和我一起排队。
And he gives one more dispersal warning.
他又发出了一次驱散警告。
He says you have 30 seconds to get out of the street.
他说你有 30 秒的时间离开街道。
You were obstructing traffic.
你妨碍了交通。
If you do not get out of the street, you are subject to arrest.
如果您不离开街道，您将受到逮捕。
And I says, well, her?
我说，好吧，她？
The Sergeant gets one the megaphone and he says, OK, that's it.
中士拿起扩音器，他说，好吧，就这样了。
Whoever's here, round them up.
谁来了，就把他们围起来。
And so she leans in and she says, you're going to have to come with me.
所以她靠过来说，你必须跟我一起去。
And I realize I'm being filmed.
我意识到我正在被拍摄。
There's lots of cameras.
有很多相机。
Flashbulbs are going off everywhere.
到处都是闪光灯。
And so I wanted to be really thug and gangster about it, you know what I'm saying?
所以我想成为真正的暴徒和黑帮，你知道我在说什么吗？
You know?
你知道？
I was like, in my mind, I said, "Yeah, you're going have to pick me up!" But I think what actually came out and was like, "Yeah, OK."
我心里想，我说：“是的，你得来接我！”但我认为实际结果是，“是的，好吧。”
She picks me up, and she turns me around.
她把我抱起来，然后把我转过来。
And she goes to put the zip ties, the flex cuffs on me.
她去给我系上拉链，给我戴上弹性袖口。
And it was really-- she put them on really tight, you guys.
各位，她真的把它们穿得很紧。
And I wanted to be upset, but I kind of liked it.
我想感到沮丧，但我有点喜欢它。
I don't know.
我不知道。
And here's the thing, you guys.
事情是这样的，你们。
I was part of the first 10 people to be arrested in New York City in conjunction with these non-indictments.
我是纽约市首批因这些非起诉书而被捕的 10 人之一。
They were calling us the Times Square 10.
他们称我们为时代广场 10 号。
My picture was everywhere.
我的照片到处都是。
In the morning, when I woke up, it was on CNN.
早上，当我醒来时，CNN 正在播报。
It was on Yahoo News.
这是在雅虎新闻上。
And so all my friends back home, they've seen these pictures, and everyone's like, wow, you look really calm amongst all this chaos and--
所以我所有回家的朋友都看过这些照片，每个人都说，哇，你在这一切混乱中看起来真的很平静，而且——
I wanted to tell people something really poignant, you know?
我想告诉人们一些真正令人心酸的事情，你知道吗？
I was thinking about civil rights and I was thinking about Dr. King.
我想到了公民权利，想到了金博士。
And I wanted to tell you that it was all those things.
我想告诉你，就是这些事情。
But really it was just like, "Holy shit, there's a lot of cameras!
但实际上就像是，“天哪，有很多摄像机！
Her hands are soft."
她的手很软。”
[LAUGHTER] Gosh.
[笑声] 天哪。
So they load us into the back of the paddy-wagon.
于是他们把我们装进了水车的后部。
Unfortunately, she does not ride with us.
不幸的是，她不和我们一起骑车。
But when we get to the precinct now, I'm reunited with my arresting officer, because they have to take you through the booking process, OK?
但当我们现在到达辖区时，我与逮捕我的警官重聚，因为他们必须带你完成预订流程，好吗？
And so then they take your mugshot.
然后他们就会拍下你的照片。
Now, I'm ready for this.
现在，我已经准备好了。
All the excitement from getting arrested has dissipated.
被捕后的所有兴奋都消散了。
Here's the real shit.
这才是真正的狗屎。
I'm getting processed now, but you're partnered up with who arrested you.
我现在正在接受处理，但你和逮捕你的人是合伙的。
So I get her name now.
所以我现在知道她的名字了。
This is Officer Laura.
这是劳拉警官。
All right.
好的。
So now I have her name and this is great.
现在我知道了她的名字，这太棒了。
So she's taking me through the fingerprinting process, and they have to take your hand.
所以她正在带我完成指纹采集过程，他们必须握住你的手。
They do it for you.
他们为你做。
They take your hand.
他们牵着你的手。
And she's holding my hand.
她握着我的手。
And pressing my fingers into the ink, and now we're making a finger picture and it's gorgeous.
然后将我的手指压入墨水中，现在我们正在制作一张手指图片，它非常漂亮。
This is our first piece of artwork together!
这是我们合作的第一件作品！
And now it was mugshot time, you guys.
现在是照片拍摄时间了，你们。
It was time for the mugshot.
是时候拍一张照片了。
And I am determined.
我下定决心。
I am going to take a gangster mugshot, OK?
我要拍一张黑帮照片，可以吗？
I know nothing about this says gangster, but I'm going to thug up and take this mugshot, right?
黑帮说我对此一无所知，但我要打砸抢拍这张照片，对吗？
So we take it from the front.
所以我们从前面看。
Boom.
繁荣。
Take it from the side, boom.
从侧面拿走，繁荣。
And then, you guys, surprise, surprise, your arresting officer gets in the picture with you!
然后，你们，惊讶，惊讶，你们的逮捕警官也和你们一起合影了！
And we get to take a picture together!
我们还可以一起拍张照片！
I was so excited!
我太兴奋了！
I was so strong in the first two pictures, and then she gets in for the third, and I was so amped I threw a thumb up.
我在前两张照片中非常坚强，然后她进入了第三张照片，我太兴奋了，竖起了大拇指。
She didn't find that amusing.
她不觉得这有什么好笑的。
She slapped my hand.
她拍了我的手。
She's like, no gang signs!
她就像，没有帮派迹象！
Can I get a copy of this for Facebook?
我可以为 Facebook 获取此副本吗？
No one's going to believe me!
没有人会相信我！
All right, so that's where all the fun stopped, you guys.
好吧，你们所有的乐趣就到此为止了。
They put me in the cell.
他们把我关进牢房。
I was in for 8 and 1/2 hours.
我在里面待了 8 又 1/2 小时。
But I left in the morning.
但我早上就走了。
I wasn't tired.
我不累。
I wasn't upset.
我并没有不高兴。
I just had butterflies, cherubs, rainbows, unicorns.
我只有蝴蝶、小天使、彩虹、独角兽。
I wonder if I'll ever see her again.
我想知道我是否还能再见到她。
You know?
你知道？
But I finally got the gumption to go back out.
但我终于有了回去的勇气。
I'm not going to let this silence me.
我不会让这让我沉默。
I'm not going to let this scare me.
我不会让这吓到我。
And I had some down time.
我有一些休息时间。
I'm going to go back out.
我要出去了。
And so I went back out, no friends, nobody to tell anybody I was back out.
于是我就退出了，没有朋友，没有人告诉任何人我退出了。
Went back to Times Square and I was out there taking laps around Times Square with signs, waiting for the crowd to get bigger.
回到时代广场，我拿着标志在时代广场周围转了一圈，等待人群变得越来越多。
And you guys, I see what appears to be Officer Laura.
你们，我看到了劳拉警官。
And you've got to understand, I'm with some really anti-police people.
你必须明白，我和一些真正反警察的人在一起。
So you really can't say shit to the cops, right?
所以你真的不能对警察说脏话，对吧？
But I got [INAUDIBLE].
但我得到了[听不清]。
And I was like, "Officer Laura." And she turned around and it was her.
我当时就想，“劳拉警官。”她转过身来，是她。
And I couldn't contain my excitement.
我无法抑制自己的兴奋。
I was like, "Oh my God, it's so good to see you!"
我当时想，“天啊，很高兴见到你！”
Which didn't win me points from anybody.
这并没有为我赢得任何人的积分。
Because the protesters weren't happy and neither were the police.
因为抗议者不高兴，警察也不高兴。
And Officer Laura didn't remember me, you guys.
劳拉警官不记得我了，你们。
Elsa Waithe, she hosts a monthly comedy night in New York called Affirmative Laughter.
艾尔莎·维特 (Elsa Waithe) 在纽约主持每月一次的喜剧之夜，名为“肯定的笑声”(Affirmative Laughter)。
On Twitter, she is elsajustelsa.
在 Twitter 上，她的名字是 elsajustelsa。
She has recorded a monthly storytelling event called Tell at the Bureau of General Service Queer Division on 13th Street.
她在第 13 街的总务局酷儿部门录制了名为 Tell 的每月讲故事活动。
Act 3, Unbreak My Heart.
第三幕，释放我的心。
So this last story starts in exactly the way you would expect if you were even half paying attention to today's program.
因此，最后一个故事的开始方式与您所期望的完全一样，如果您对今天的节目有一半的关注的话。
I definitely 100% thought he was the one.
我绝对100%认为他就是那个人。
That's Julia.
那是朱莉娅。
A few years back, when she was in her 20s, she dated this guy who lived in England.
几年前，当她20多岁的时候，她和这个住在英国的男人约会过。
She was in Los Angeles.
她当时在洛杉矶。
She loved thinking about marrying him and moving to England and raising little babies with British accents who'd call her mummy.
她喜欢考虑嫁给他，搬到英国，抚养操着英国口音的小婴儿，他们会叫她妈妈。
And then one day, she was at work.
然后有一天，她去上班了。
And we were on Skype.
我们正在使用 Skype。
Not the video Skype, but the chat Skype, just typing to each other, like instant messenger.
不是视频 Skype，而是聊天 Skype，只是互相打字，就像即时通讯工具一样。
And he dumped her, not even on video.
他抛弃了她，甚至没有在视频中出现。
He text dumped her.
他发短信甩了她。
And it really took me by surprise.
这确实让我感到惊讶。
He wrote, "This isn't working for me." And I thought he meant his computer or something.
他写道：“这对我不起作用。”我以为他指的是他的电脑什么的。
I had no idea he was talking about our entire relationship.
我不知道他在谈论我们的整个关系。
Well, the wording leaves it vague, to be fair.
好吧，公平地说，措辞含糊其辞。
The wording is very vague.
措辞非常模糊。
Yeah, I agree.
是的，我同意。
Ira Glass She couldn't concentrate on work anymore.
Ira Glass：她无法再专注于工作。
Her life was wrecked.
她的生活被毁了。
No more babies calling her mummy in the future.
以后再也没有宝宝喊妈妈了。
And as she drove home, sitting in traffic--
当她开车回家时，堵在路上——
I called 1-800-Expedia, and I bought a one way ticket to England that left in six hours.
我拨打了 1-800-Expedia，购买了一张前往英格兰的单程机票，六小时后出发。
Maybe you should explain your thinking here.
也许你应该在这里解释一下你的想法。
I really thought, OK I'm going to make this big grand gesture.
我真的想，好吧，我要做出这个伟大的举动。
I'm a big rom com fan.
我是浪漫喜剧的忠实粉丝。
And I felt like this was my rom com moment in life.
我觉得这是我一生中的浪漫时刻。
What would Bridget Jones do?
布里吉特·琼斯会做什么？
You know what she would do?
你知道她会做什么吗？
She would go to England right away.
她马上就要去英国。
So that was the plan.
这就是计划。
I thought I'd show up at his house.
我以为我会出现在他家。
It would be a surprise.
这将是一个惊喜。
And he'll see me and our eyes will lock.
他会看到我，我们的目光就会锁定。
And if he sees me, he'll remember that we're perfect for each other and we should get married.
如果他看到我，他就会记得我们是完美的伴侣，我们应该结婚。
So packs a bag.
于是装了一个袋子。
Overpacks, actually, because who knows how long she'll be staying.
事实上，行李太多了，因为谁知道她会待多久。
Maybe the rest of her life?
也许她的余生？
Lands in England, gets off the plane, then it hits her.
降落在英国，下了飞机，然后她就受到了打击。
As I'm in the customs line, I start like crying and a little bit freaking out, what am I doing?
当我在海关排队时，我开始哭泣，有点害怕，我在做什么？
And I think that was the first time I started thinking, what if it doesn't go as they think that it'll go?
我想这是我第一次开始思考，如果事情没有像他们想象的那样发生怎么办？
You know?
你知道？
Yeah.
是的。
Julia Lillis When he sees me, he won't say you're the one.
朱莉娅·莉利斯 当他看到我时，他不会说你就是那个人。
Yeah.
是的。
Julia Lillis So I started crying.
朱莉娅·莉莉丝于是我开始哭泣。
And I approach-- I get to the front and I approached this customs agent, who was this adorable little British guy.
我走近——我走到前面，走近这位海关代理人，他是一个可爱的英国小家伙。
He was maybe 20.
他当时大概20岁。
He asks her, how long are you going to be in the country?
他问她，你要在国内待多久？
Standard question.
标准问题。
But this sets off a huge cry, because of course that is the biggest question in her whole life at this moment.
但这引起了一场巨大的哭泣，因为这当然是她此刻一生中最大的问题。
The answer depends entirely on the boyfriend.
答案完全取决于男朋友。
She spills the whole story to the British customs agent.
她向英国海关人员透露了整个故事。
The whole story, the whole plan.
整个故事，整个计划。
My boyfriend dumped me on Skype yesterday.
我男朋友昨天在 Skype 上甩了我。
I bought a one way ticket to England.
我买了一张去英国的单程票。
I'm going to surprise him.
我要给他一个惊喜。
And I told him, you know, but he's the one.
我告诉他，你知道，但他就是那个人。
He just forgets I'm the one.
他只是忘记了我就是那个人。
And I looked at him.
我看着他。
I'm like, "Is that crazy?"
我想，“这疯了吗？”
And I swear to you, Ira, he looked me straight in the eye, and with this adorable little British accent, he says, "You got to do what you got to do for love."
我向你发誓，艾拉，他直视着我的眼睛，带着可爱的英国口音，他说：“你必须为爱做你必须做的事。”
Which I thought was like, "Yeah, he's right!" I mean, come on.
我想，“是的，他是对的！”我的意思是，来吧。
That's straight out of a romantic comedy, right?
这简直就是一部浪漫喜剧，对吧？
And I really thought at that moment, I am doing what I got to do for love.
那一刻我真的想，我正在为爱做我必须做的事情。
That's what I'm doing right now!
这就是我现在正在做的事情！
She did not end up with the guy.
她最终没有和那个男人在一起。
When he sees her, he does not propose.
当他看到她时，他没有求婚。
He doesn't know.
他不知道。
You are not the one.
你不是那个人。
She flies home the next morning.
她第二天早上乘飞机回家。
Can I ask you when you look back on this, the thing that the British customs agents said to you, what was the line again?
我能问你，当你回顾这件事时，英国海关人员对你说的话，又是什么呢？
He said, "You got to do what you got to do for love."
他说：“为了爱，你必须做你必须做的事。”
I think, yeah.
我想，是的。
You know, I think he's right.
你知道，我认为他是对的。
And I'm glad I did what I thought I had to do for love.
我很高兴我做了我认为我必须为爱做的事情。
Because it really put the nail in the coffin on that relationship.
因为这确实给这段关系钉上了棺材。
Wait, you think you did the right thing even though you also think, with the distance of years, that it was crazy?
等等，你认为你做了正确的事，尽管多年来你也认为这很疯狂？
It was crazy.
太疯狂了。
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
But if I hadn't done all of this, I don't know.
但如果我没有做这一切，我不知道。
It would feel a little open ended.
感觉有点开放式。
It's so interesting that this is what you're saying to me.
太有趣了，这就是你对我说的话。
Because we began this week's show with a 76-year-old man who on Sunday is flying across the country to tell this woman that he has feelings for her, and to see if she has feelings for him.
因为我们本周的节目以一位 76 岁的男子开始，他在周日飞越全国，告诉这位女士他对她有感觉，并看看她是否对他有感觉。
And he knows, I think, in the back of his mind, that it's probably doomed, and he can't stop himself.
我想，在他内心深处，他知道这可能是注定的，而他无法阻止自己。
Well, he's got to do it, though, right?
好吧，但他必须这么做，对吧？
He's got to do what he's got to do for love, Ira.
他必须为爱做他必须做的事，艾拉。
No, I agree.
不，我同意。
I think you're saying it as a little bit of a joke, but I think he actually does.
我认为你这么说是有点开玩笑，但我认为他确实是这么做的。
I think that that's the truth.
我认为这就是事实。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Ira Glass If you had any advice for him, what would you say to him, if you could send a message to him right now?
Ira Glass 如果你对他有什么建议，如果你现在可以给他发消息，你会对他说什么？
It's funny, because I wouldn't even say it like you don't want to prepare yourself for the worst, because that's just going into it having a bad attitude.
这很有趣，因为我什至不会说你不想为最坏的情况做好准备，因为那只是态度不好。
I think the way I went into it, going into it really thinking this is going to happen, this is my life and this is how it works out, I think that's the best way to go into it.
我认为我进入它的方式，进入它时真的认为这将会发生，这就是我的生活，这就是它的结果，我认为这是进入它的最好方式。
And then just deal with whatever fallout happens.
然后处理发生的任何后果。
Julia Lillis, she now has a baby who calls her mommy, and a second one on the way, and a husband who does not have a British accent but apparently has other good qualities to compensate.
朱莉娅·莉莉丝（Julia Lillis）现在有了一个叫她妈妈的孩子，第二个孩子也即将出生，她的丈夫没有英国口音，但显然有其他良好的品质可以弥补。
Our program was produced todayy by Zoe Chace, Robyn Semien and me with Sean Cole, Neil Drumming, Stephanie Foo, Chana Joffe-Walt, Miki Meek, Jonathan Menjivar, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Zoe Chace、Robyn Semien 和我与 Sean Cole、Neil Drumming、Stephanie Foo、Chana Joffe-Walt、Miki Meek、Jonathan Menjivar、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Our senior producer for this show is Brian Reed.
我们这个节目的高级制片人是布莱恩·里德。
Our technical director is Matt Tierney.
我们的技术总监是马特·蒂尔尼。
Production help from Emmanuel Dzotsi.
Emmanuel Dzotsi 提供制作帮助。
Our staff includes Elise Bergerson, Emily Condon, Kimberly Henderson, and Seth Lind.
我们的员工包括 Elise Bergerson、Emily Condon、Kimberly Henderson 和 Seth Lind。
Research help today from Christopher Swetala and Michelle Harris.
Christopher Swetala 和 Michelle Harris 今天提供了研究帮助。
Music help today from Damian Graef and Rob Geddis.
今天，达米安·格雷夫 (Damian Graef) 和罗布·格迪斯 (Rob Geddis) 提供音乐帮助。
Special thanks today to Nancy Bermeo, Michael Dodge Weiskopf, Paul Rest, Carol McGuirk Allison, Maggie Penman, Anne Gudenkauf, Jefferson Bites.
今天特别感谢 Nancy Bermeo、Michael Dodge Weiskopf、Paul Rest、Carol McGuirk Allison、Maggie Penman、Anne Gudenkauf 和 Jefferson Bites。
This show first aired a year ago.
该节目于一年前首次播出。
The 76-year-old man that you heard at the beginning of the program did not get a yes from the woman that he flew across the country for.
你在节目开始时听到的那个 76 岁的男人并没有得到他飞越全国的女人的同意。
He has moved on.
他已经继续前进了。
He says he has no regrets.
他说他不后悔。
He's glad he tried.
他很高兴他尝试过。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
Thanks as always to our programs co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们的项目联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know, he got a new puppy, puts him to sleep every night with these words.
你知道，他养了一只新小狗，每天晚上都用这些话让他入睡。
Good night, my sweet Darling.
晚安，我亲爱的。
Let us drift away to paradise in our dreams and wake up together to a new and wonderful day.
让我们一起飘向梦中的天堂，一起醒来迎接新的美好的一天。
I kiss you gently and fall asleep in your arms.
我轻轻地吻你，然后在你的怀里睡着了。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life .
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。