525: Call For Help - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #525 | April 17, 2015 525: Call For Help Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 525 集 | 2015 年 4 月 17 日 525：寻求帮助 注意：This American Life 是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Maybe you saw this story about a month ago.
序言 Ira Glass 也许您大约一个月前看过这个故事。
This couple was sailing across the Pacific Ocean on a boat with their two young daughters.
这对夫妇带着两个年幼的女儿乘船横渡太平洋。
And one of the kids was three and the other was just a baby, like a year old.
其中一个孩子三岁了，另一个还只是个婴儿，大约一岁。
And the baby got sick and they called in rescuers.
婴儿生病了，他们呼叫了救援人员。
Four Air National Guardsmen parachuted in.
四名空军国民警卫队士兵跳伞降落。
A Navy vessel traveled 2,000 miles to reach them.
一艘海军舰艇航行了 2,000 英里才到达他们身边。
And this got a lot of play, can I say kind of weirdly, in newspapers, online, on morning TV.
这在报纸、网络、早间电视上得到了很多关注，我可以说有点奇怪吗？
Emergency medics parachuting in to save a sick baby on board a sailboat adrift at sea.
紧急医疗人员跳伞营救一艘漂流在海上的帆船上的生病婴儿。
ABC's Martha Raddatz here with that story.
美国广播公司 (ABC) 的玛莎·拉达兹 (Martha Raddatz) 为您带来这个故事。
And Martha, so many questions about what that family was doing out there in the first place.
玛莎，有很多关于那个家庭最初在做什么的问题。
So many questions this morning George.
今天早上有很多问题乔治。
This rescue was as harrowing as they come.
这次救援与他们来时一样令人痛苦。
On Good Morning America, George Stephanopoulos and Martha Raddatz updated viewers on the rescue.
在《早安美国》节目中，乔治·斯蒂芬诺普洛斯和玛莎·拉达茨向观众介绍了救援的最新情况。
But also it raised the question that seemed to animate a lot of the interest in the story.
但它也提出了一个似乎激起了人们对这个故事的兴趣的问题。
That question, were these bad parents?
那问题来了，这些父母是坏父母吗？
--but their trip immediately sparking criticism on the family's Facebook page.
——但他们的旅行立即在家人的 Facebook 页面上引发批评。
One person calling them irresponsible parents.
有人称他们是不负责任的父母。
Another writing, how selfish to jeopardize the lives of their tiny and helpless children.
另一篇文章，危及他们年幼无助的孩子的生命是多么自私。
The family's boat has now sunk, along with everything on it.
现在，这家人的船连同船上的所有东西都沉没了。
But this was indeed a very costly rescue.
但这确实是一次代价高昂的救援。
Everybody is very happy the baby was saved.
大家都很高兴孩子得救了。
But I don't know about you guys, but when I have children by a swimming pool I'm nervous.
但我不知道你们怎么想，但当我在游泳池边带孩子时，我很紧张。
Don't know how they did it.
不知道他们是怎么做到的。
Yeah.
是的。
I don't know how they could do it at all.
我根本不知道他们是怎么做到的。
OK Martha, thanks very much.
好的玛莎，非常感谢。
The front page New York Times story on the family was headlined, quote, "Two tots, a Sailboat, and a Storm over Parenting," and quoted experienced sailors arguing pro and con weather was OK to take a baby to sea.
《纽约时报》头版关于这个家庭的报道的标题是“两个孩子、一艘帆船和育儿风暴”，并引用了经验丰富的水手的观点，认为天气是否适合带孩子出海。
People went online and they read the blogs that these parents were keeping of their voyage online.
人们上网并阅读这些父母在网上保存的航行博客。
And what a surprise, this being the internet they found things to get angry at.
令人惊讶的是，这就是他们发现的令人愤怒的互联网。
Comments on the internet ranged from, why take a baby out to see when she's a baby?
网上的评论五花八门，“为什么带孩子出去看看她还是个婴儿？”
After all, she won't remember it.
毕竟，她不会记得。
To a point a lot of people made, quote, "This family should be forced to pay for the rescue.
在某种程度上，很多人都引用了这样的话：“这个家庭应该被迫为救援付费。
Who in the hell takes two little kids on a voyage like this."
到底是谁带着两个小孩子踏上这样的旅程。”
So that is how the whole thing looked from dry land.
这就是从陆地上看整个事情的样子。
But 1,200 miles out in the middle of the ocean in the cabin of a 36 foot boat, it looked pretty different.
但在 1,200 英里外的大洋中央，一艘 36 英尺长的船的船舱里，情况看起来却大不相同。
The parents, their names are Eric and Charlotte Kaufman, say that a whole bunch of things had gone wrong besides the sick baby.
父母，他们的名字是埃里克和夏洛特·考夫曼，他们说除了生病的婴儿之外，还有很多事情都出了问题。
The boat was taking on water.
船正在进水。
Eric is an experienced sailor with a Coast Guard Master's License.
埃里克是一位经验丰富的水手，拥有海岸警卫队硕士学位。
It takes 360 days on the water to get that, and it means that he can captain a commercial vessel, which he has done.
他需要在水上航行 360 天才能达到这一目标，这意味着他可以担任一艘商船的船长，他已经做到了。
And he says that when things started to get bad on his sailboat, he started thinking about this piece of gear they have on the boat.
他说，当他的帆船上的情况开始变得糟糕时，他开始考虑船上的这个装备。
It looks like a fluorescent green Big Gulp cup with electronics inside and a little antenna that's sticks out.
它看起来像一个荧光绿色的 Big Gulp 杯子，里面有电子设备，还有一根伸出的小天线。
It's called an EPIRB.
它称为 EPIRB。
EPIRB stands for emergency position indicating radio beacon.
EPIRB 代表紧急位置指示无线电信标。
And basically when all else fails you break a seal, you push a button, and this device transmits your coordinates to authorities who know that it means that you are in trouble and they need to send help.
基本上，当所有其他方法都失败时，你打破密封，按下按钮，这个设备就会将你的坐标传输给当局，他们知道这意味着你遇到了麻烦，他们需要提供帮助。
And on day 16 of the trip-- well here's Eric and then also Charlotte.
在旅行的第 16 天，这是埃里克 (Eric)，然后是夏洛特 (Charlotte)。
I just looked over at the bulkhead and there's the EPIRB sitting up there staring back at me.
我只是看了一眼舱壁，EPIRB 就坐在那儿盯着我看。
And I ran through it in my head a few times, like have we done everything we reasonably can do?
我在脑海中反复思考了几次，就像我们已经做了我们合理能做的一切吗？
Is this real?
这是真的吗？
Is this really happening?
这真的发生了吗？
We're not sleep deprived.
我们没有被剥夺睡眠。
This is a real thing.
这是真实的事情。
We did the math that we were going to lose the boat.
我们计算了一下我们将会失去这艘船。
I was going to have to scuttle it.
我不得不把它毁了。
I mean, we were married and lived on our boat.
我的意思是，我们结婚了，住在我们的船上。
We were engaged and lived on our boat for that.
为此我们订婚并住在我们的船上。
Both of our kids grew up on that boat.
我们的两个孩子都是在那条船上长大的。
And we were in the middle of crossing an ocean going to the South Pacific.
我们正在跨越海洋前往南太平洋。
I mean, how idyllic can you get, right?
我的意思是，你能得到多田园诗般的感觉，对吧？
They write songs about that stuff.
他们写关于这些东西的歌曲。
And instead we were about to push this button that shifts that whole reality into a whole different reality, and a reality we didn't want.
相反，我们即将按下这个按钮，将整个现实转变为一个完全不同的现实，一个我们不想要的现实。
This eventually became national news, the fact that you called for help.
你呼救的事实最终成为全国新闻。
Did you have any sense of, OK, so we push this button and now we're famous?
你有没有感觉到，好吧，所以我们按下这个按钮，现在我们就出名了？
No. Never.
不，从来没有。
We were we were completely thrown aback by that.
我们对此完全感到惊讶。
We thought some of the sailing message boards are going to have a thread about this.
我们认为一些航行留言板将会有一个关于此的主题。
After all, they knew about other boats that had called for help, and it never seemed to land anybody on morning television, or get talked about on The View, or even make the paper.
毕竟，他们知道其他求救的船只，但它似乎从来没有在早间电视上登陆过任何人，或者在《观点》上被谈论，甚至登上了报纸。
And as for bringing two small children with them, it literally didn't occur to them that that could be an issue for anybody because they knew lots of other families through sailing message boards that they were on with kids just as young as theirs.
至于带着两个小孩，他们根本没有想到这对任何人来说都是一个问题，因为他们通过航行留言板认识了很多其他家庭，他们的孩子和他们一样小。
Oh yes.
哦是的。
In fact three other boats did the Pacific crossing this year.
事实上，今年还有另外三艘船横渡了太平洋。
The youngest baby was four months old.
最小的婴儿只有四个月大。
And in fact, our daughter was the oldest baby.
事实上，我们的女儿是最大的孩子。
The one-year-old, she was the oldest.
一岁了，她是最大的。
The rest were all younger.
其余的人都比较年轻。
We reached somebody from the American Boat and Yacht Council, which writes the safety guidelines for these kinds of boats, and he confirmed that there are in fact thousands of families living on boats, tooling around the world with children of all ages.
我们联系了美国船舶和游艇委员会的某人，该委员会为此类船只编写了安全指南，他证实，实际上有成千上万的家庭生活在船上，世界各地都有各个年龄段的孩子。
And he said that what the Kaufmans did was not unusual at all.
他说考夫曼一家的所作所为一点也不罕见。
In fact, he said, however it may sound to people who do not sail, crossing an ocean on a sailboat is routine.
他说，事实上，无论对于不会航海的人来说听起来如何，乘坐帆船横渡大洋已经是家常便饭了。
He said it was on the adventurous side of routine, but it was routine.
他说这是例行公事中冒险的一面，但这就是例行公事。
So when Eric and Charlotte Kaufman got to safety and realized the reaction their story was getting, they put out a statement on the internet.
因此，当埃里克和夏洛特考夫曼到达安全地带并意识到他们的故事引起的反应时，他们在互联网上发表了一份声明。
It said, quote, "For those who are more critical, we ask that you kindly await all the details." They thought that if people heard the whole story, everything that happened to them, their choices would seem reasonable.
引用说，“对于那些更挑剔的人，我们请您耐心等待所有细节。”他们认为，如果人们听到整个故事，以及发生在他们身上的一切，他们的选择就会显得合理。
But they didn't say any more.
但他们没有再说什么。
They didn't say anything else.
他们没有再说什么。
They gave no interviews explaining what really happened until today.
直到今天他们才接受采访解释到底发生了什么。
Today on our program we have them and their story.
今天我们的节目中有他们和他们的故事。
And we also have other stories of people calling for help.
我们还有其他人们寻求帮助的故事。
It turns out that when you call for help it can lead you to places that you never suspected that it possibly ever could.
事实证明，当您寻求帮助时，它可能会将您带到您从未想过的地方。
Including, by the way, we have former Wyoming Senator Alan Simpson stepping in to lend a hand about a matter that is not the kind of matter that one usually turns to the United States Senate for.
顺便说一下，包括前怀俄明州参议员艾伦·辛普森（Alan Simpson）介入，帮助解决一件通常不属于美国参议院的问题。
Not actually the kind of thing that the Senate usually handles at all.
实际上根本不是参议院通常处理的那种事情。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, When May Day Falls in April.
第一幕，四月五一节来临之际。
OK.
好的。
Some basic facts about Eric and Charlotte Kaufman.
关于埃里克·考夫曼和夏洛特·考夫曼的一些基本事实。
First off, OK, whatever impressions you have of people who own boats, they are not rich.
首先，好吧，无论你对拥有船只的人有什么印象，他们并不富有。
The boat is their house.
船就是他们的家。
They have no other home.
他们没有其他家。
This is where their savings went.
这就是他们的积蓄的去处。
Before they set sail last month, Eric made his living doing a computer job for a financial services company.
上个月他们启航之前，埃里克在一家金融服务公司靠做电脑工作谋生。
Eric and Charlotte had been preparing for this trip seriously since 2010 when they started buying safety gear and did all the careful steps you do to make a ship as safe as possible, replace the rigging and chain plates, that kind of thing.
埃里克和夏洛特自 2010 年起就开始认真准备这次旅行，当时他们开始购买安全装备，并采取了所有谨慎的步骤来使船只尽可能安全，例如更换索具和链板之类的事情。
The plan was they were going to travel to the Pacific Islands, make it to New Zealand before November, then live in New Zealand for a couple years, and then on to Micronesia and Indonesia, then who knows where.
他们的计划是前往太平洋岛屿，在 11 月之前到达新西兰，然后在新西兰生活几年，然后前往密克罗尼西亚和印度尼西亚，然后谁知道在哪里。
When I asked Eric how long the trip was going to be, he didn't have an answer.
当我问埃里克这次旅行要多长时间时，他没有回答。
Years for sure.
肯定是好几年了。
The idea was they would head out and then just figured it out.
他们的想法是，他们会出发，然后就想通了。
Which made me especially interested in the moment that they decided to give all that up and call for help.
这让我对他们决定放弃一切并寻求帮助的那一刻特别感兴趣。
What happened that made them abandon everything they had been hoping for and planning for for years and years?
发生了什么让他们放弃了多年来所希望和计划的一切？
Well, Eric said that one of the big problems began the day before they called for help.
埃里克说，一个大问题是在他们寻求帮助的前一天开始的。
Basically they sailed into a part of the ocean called the Intertropical Convergence Zone where they hit some nasty weather and waves.
基本上，他们航行到了被称为热带辐合区的海洋部分，在那里他们遇到了一些恶劣的天气和海浪。
Not horrible Eric said.
埃里克说，这并不可怕。
You'd expect this kind of thing on an ocean crossing.
你会预料到在跨越大洋时会发生这种事情。
But they were getting rained on every 30 to 35 minutes with squalls, waves are going over the boat, covering the deck.
但每隔 30 到 35 分钟就会下雨，伴随着狂风，海浪冲过船，覆盖了甲板。
And then-- here's the bad part-- they get broached, which is sailing language for a wave pushed their boat onto its side, just for a few seconds, and then it righted itself.
然后——这是糟糕的部分——他们被拉扯了，这是航海语言，意思是波浪将他们的船推到一边，只持续了几秒钟，然后它又恢复正常了。
We got knocked over several times.
我们被撞倒了好几次。
And people have asked Eric, were you scared out there?
人们问埃里克，你在外面害怕吗？
And Eric always says, no, I wasn't scared.
埃里克总是说，不，我并不害怕。
But I was in the cabin with the girls, and one time our oldest was going to the bathroom by herself-- because she's three, she's almost four, and she want's to do everything by herself-- and when that wave hit it's the scariest sound.
但我和女孩们一起在小屋里，有一次我们最大的孩子独自去洗手间——因为她三岁了，快四岁了，她想自己做所有事情——当海浪袭来时，这是最可怕的声音。
Because it's just a big bang?
因为这只是一场大爆炸？
Charlotte Kaufman Yeah.
夏洛特·考夫曼 是的。
It's this huge bang.
就是这个巨大的爆炸。
It's like you were in a car accident.
就像你遭遇车祸一样。
You're expecting to go up and see who just T-boned you.
你期待着上去看看是谁刚刚把你打成了丁字形。
But it was a wave.
但这是一波浪潮。
And so you guys are downstairs in the cabin and Eric is upstairs driving the boat.
所以你们在楼下的船舱里，埃里克在楼上驾驶船。
Is he upstairs out on the deck when the boat gets turned on its side?
当船侧翻时，他是在楼上的甲板上吗？
Yes.
是的。
He was definitely on the side decks.
他肯定是在侧甲板上。
But he goes out there clipped in, and we all maintain the rule, one hand for you, one hand for the ship.
但他出去了，我们都遵守规则，一只手为你，一只手为船。
So he's always holding on.
所以他总是坚持下去。
So he's clipped on with straps and stuff, so he can't just go into the water?
所以他被带子之类的东西夹住了，所以他不能直接下水？
Right.
正确的。
Yeah.
是的。
I think the hardest part for people who don't sail to really imagine about this trip is that you're constantly in motion.
我认为对于那些不航海的人来说，真正想象这次旅行最困难的部分是你不断地在运动。
You're burning calories just by sitting because your body is constantly fighting to keep you in an upright position.
只需坐着就可以燃烧卡路里，因为您的身体不断努力让您保持直立姿势。
We could never stand still.
我们永远不能停滞不前。
When I'm making food, I have to brace my feet at a really far angle, or I had to wear a belt, a galley belt, just to stay upright.
当我做饭时，我必须将脚支撑在一个非常远的角度，或者我必须系上皮带，厨房皮带，只是为了保持直立。
We would have to-- our youngest daughter, she slept in a little chair, a little kid seat, strapped down in her bunk because, if we had just put her in her berth, her body would literally have been just rolling five inches.
我们必须——我们最小的女儿，她睡在一张小椅子上，一个小儿童座椅，绑在她的铺位上，因为如果我们把她放在铺位上，她的身体实际上只会滚动五英寸。
Rolling five inches.
滚滚五寸。
Rolling, because she was too little to lay spread eagle and brace herself at night to sleep.
打滚，因为她还太小，无法在晚上平躺着睡觉。
Now, to get broached by itself is not such a big deal.
现在，被提出来本身并不是什么大不了的事。
Eric says lots of boats get broached.
埃里克说很多船都被拉开了。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, you want to minimize it as much as you possibly can.
我的意思是，你想尽可能地减少它。
And you probably did something wrong, or you could have been more active on the helm, or something like that.
你可能做错了什么，或者你本可以更积极地掌舵，或者类似的事情。
But it's not like, oh, my gosh, this is horrible.
但这并不像，哦，天哪，这太可怕了。
No boat has ever experienced this.
没有一艘船经历过这种情况。
That's not the case.
事实并非如此。
It's sailing across an ocean.
它正在穿越海洋。
It's what it is.
就是这样。
If you don't want to take hits like that, don't go across an ocean.
如果你不想遭受这样的打击，就不要远渡重洋。
The problem, he says, is that when their boat got knocked on to its side, it put the boom into the water.
他说，问题在于，当他们的船被撞到一边时，栅栏就掉进了水里。
Now I didn't know what a boom was, and so he had to explain that to me.
现在我不知道繁荣是什么，所以他必须向我解释。
If you picture a triangular sail on a sailboat, there's the mast which runs vertically from the deck, sticks into the sky.
如果你想象一艘帆船上有一个三角形的帆，那么桅杆就会从甲板上垂直延伸，伸向天空。
And then the horizontal pole that runs along the bottom of the sail, parallel to the water, that's the boom.
然后沿着帆底部延伸的水平杆，与水平行，这就是吊杆。
And when they got broached, the boom went into the water.
当它们被拉开时，吊杆就进入了水中。
And when the boat bounced back upright-- the boom is connected to the mast and the rigging, which is connected to the hull with wires and chain plates-- and with all that pressure on the boom--
当船直立弹回时——吊杆连接到桅杆和索具，索具通过电线和链板连接到船体——所有压力都作用在吊杆上——
That basically yanked on enough stuff that it caused breaks in the hull in a couple different places, which-- I knew where a couple of them were.
这基本上拉动了足够多的东西，导致船体在几个不同的地方破裂，我知道其中几个在哪里。
And then some of them actually just proceeded to get worse and worse.
然后其中一些实际上变得越来越糟。
And then at that point we started having a lot of leaking at the hull deck joint on the starboard quarter.
然后在那时我们右舷四分之一的船体甲板接缝处开始出现大量泄漏。
Sorry for turning into boat nerd on you, but that's-- I think we ended up maybe about taking on 60 or 70 gallons a day, which isn't really that bad if you think about how quick you can move the bucket if somebody put a gun to your head and said, move that water.
很抱歉让你变成了船迷，但那是——我想我们最终可能每天要处理 60 或 70 加仑的水，如果你想想如果有人用枪指着你的头说，把水移开，你能多快地移动水桶，这还不算太糟糕。
He had a big, heavy manual pump on board that pumped a gallon with each stroke.
他船上有一个又大又重的手动泵，每次冲程泵送一加仑。
So 60 to 70 gallons took a few minutes.
所以 60 到 70 加仑需要几分钟。
No biggie.
没什么大不了的。
Yeah.
是的。
The boat's not going to sink at that point.
到那时船就不会沉了。
We're not all going to die because we've got a bunch of water coming in.
我们不会都死，因为我们有大量的水进来。
It's a pain in the ass, but it's not the end of the world.
这是一件令人痛苦的事情，但这并不是世界末日。
There you are.
你就在那里。
It was under control.
一切都在控制之中。
So that was one thing, but there was another.
所以这是一回事，但还有另一回事。
Their baby daughter Lyra was sick.
他们的小女儿莱拉病了。
Now, contrary to what you might have read or heard about this part of the story if you followed this story at all, the baby was not sick when they started their trip.
现在，与您可能读到或听到的关于这部分故事的内容相反，如果您完全遵循这个故事，婴儿在开始旅行时并没有生病。
She'd had salmonella poisoning before they set out on the trip, but they waited for her to get better.
在他们出发之前，她就患有沙门氏菌中毒，但他们等待她好转。
They delayed their trip.
他们推迟了行程。
And they only went to sea after they got a clean bill of health from her doctor.
他们只有在从医生那里得到健康证明后才出海。
For the first week of the trip she was healthy.
旅行的第一周她很健康。
But then, seven days in, she got a rash.
但七天后，她出现了皮疹。
Here's Charlotte.
这是夏洛特。
Kids get rashes, so we didn't freak out.
孩子们会出疹子，所以我们没有惊慌。
But then her ears started to smell like cheese.
但随后她的耳朵开始闻起来像奶酪。
At first we thought it was because we weren't bathing enough.
起初我们以为这是因为我们洗澡不够。
We were all pretty dirty.
我们都非常脏。
So we cleaned her ears up, and they still smelled like cheese.
所以我们清理了她的耳朵，它们仍然闻起来像奶酪。
So now we've got two things going on.
现在我们有两件事发生。
And then she started getting diarrhea.
然后她开始腹泻。
And then she started acting lethargic.
然后她开始表现得无精打采。
And when your kid starts to act differently, that's when you need to really pay attention.
当您的孩子开始表现出不同的行为时，您就需要真正注意了。
So they got on the satellite phone and they called Lyra's doctor.
于是他们打开卫星电话给莱拉的医生打电话。
And he said to give her amoxicillin, an antibiotic.
他说给她服用阿莫西林，一种抗生素。
Which they do for a couple days, and it doesn't work.
他们这样做了几天，但没有效果。
The kid's still sick.
孩子还病着。
And now they don't know how worried they should be.
而现在他们不知道自己该有多担心。
With kids, within 24 hours you should see results with antibiotics.
对于孩子，您应该在 24 小时内看到抗生素治疗的结果。
And there was no improvement.
而且没有任何改善。
Now the two days that Lyra is taking antibiotics are the same two days that the boat enters those rough seas where they're getting broached and water starts to leak in.
现在，莱拉服用抗生素的两天与船进入波涛汹涌的大海的两天是一样的，在那里他们被拉扯，水开始渗入。
And so, on the morning of their 16th day at sea, Eric decides, as safety precaution, to advise the Coast Guard of what is happening, just in case things go south.
因此，在出海第 16 天的早上，埃里克决定，作为安全预防措施，向海岸警卫队报告正在发生的事情，以防情况恶化。
We're just going to let them know, hey, this is the situation, this is our medical situation, this is who's on board, this is the sea state we're at right now, so that if this gets any worse, they have some context of what's actually happening.
我们只是想让他们知道，嘿，这就是情况，这是我们的医疗状况，这就是船上的人员，这就是我们现在所处的海况，这样，如果情况变得更糟，他们就能了解实际发生的情况。
And he called them with our satellite phone and gave them that update.
他用我们的卫星电话给他们打电话，并向他们通报了最新情况。
--which, in the Maritime world, it's not the most common thing to do, but it's certainly smiled upon to do that.
——在海洋世界中，这并不是最常见的事情，但这样做肯定会受到微笑。
And they said, OK, we're going to talk to the doctor here.
他们说，好吧，我们要和这里的医生谈谈。
Leave your satellite phone on for a certain amount of time and we'll call you back.
将您的卫星电话保持开启一段时间，我们会给您回电。
And when we hung up with them, the satellite phone never worked again after that call with the Coast Guard.
当我们挂断电话时，卫星电话在与海岸警卫队通话后就再也无法使用了。
We weren't able to reach anybody else.
我们无法联系到其他人。
It just said SIM card error, SIM card error over, and over, and over.
它只是说SIM卡错误，SIM卡错误一遍又一遍。
And I tried everything.
我尝试了一切。
I took the thing out, and cleaned it, and prayed to it, and begged it, and put it back in.
我把那东西拿出来，清理干净，向它祈祷，恳求它，然后把它放回去。
And I tried dialing the emergency numbers, and then it was like, sorry, from where you are you can't dial the emergency number.
我尝试拨打紧急电话号码，然后感觉很抱歉，从你所在的地方无法拨打紧急电话号码。
And I'm like, this is so awesome.
我想，这太棒了。
They found out later what happened.
后来他们才知道发生了什么事。
Apparently, a week after they'd headed out to sea, their satellite phone company changed the brand of SIM card that it used.
显然，在他们出海一周后，他们的卫星电话公司改变了所使用的 SIM 卡的品牌。
And the company mailed new SIM cards to everybody who had a phone through the mail, the regular mail, even though people with satellite phones-- the whole point of a satellite phone-- is that you're not anywhere normal.
该公司通过普通邮件向每个拥有电话的人邮寄新的 SIM 卡，尽管拥有卫星电话的人——卫星电话的全部意义——就是你在任何地方都不正常。
Right?
正确的？
You're off far away on a mountain, or a desert, or anywhere that regular phones do not work.
您身处遥远的山上、沙漠或普通电话无法使用的任何地方。
So they mailed us a new SIM card, and then they deactivated them a week after they mailed them.
所以他们给我们寄了一张新的 SIM 卡，然后在寄出一周后将其停用。
So there was just some guy in some office somewhere that was drinking his coffee, and at the exact same time I hung up the phone with the Coast Guard, he like, ba-dupe, pressed this little button, and then that's it.
所以只有某个办公室里的某个人正在喝咖啡，就在我挂断海岸警卫队的电话的同时，他喜欢，ba-dupe，按下了这个小按钮，然后就这样了。
Game over.
游戏结束。
But have no fail, we have a long range radio.
但千万不要失败，我们有远程无线电。
There's two different radios on the boat, and we use that.
船上有两个不同的收音机，我们使用它。
But that seawater that I was talking about coming down the starboard quarter, well, the battery compartment is under that stuff and so was the radio fittings.
但是我所说的海水从右舷四分之一处流下来，嗯，电池舱就在这些东西下面，无线电配件也是如此。
So all the radio, over the last few days now, was all getting bathed slowly but surely in a nice coating of seawater.
因此，在过去的几天里，所有的收音机都缓慢但肯定地沐浴在一层漂亮的海水中。
And I get on the long range radio and I started issuing pan-pan distress calls, which is like the step under a Mayday, on the emergency--
我打开远程无线电，开始发出盼盼求救信号，这就像求救信号下的台阶，在紧急情况下——
Pan-pan?
盼盼？
Eric Kaufman Pan-pan, yeah.
埃里克·考夫曼盼盼，是的。
Pan-pan, pan-pan, pan-pan.
盼盼、盼盼、盼盼。
This is the sailing vessel Rebel Heart at position da-da-da-da-da.
这是“叛逆之心”号帆船，位于“da-da-da-da-da”位置。
Yeah.
是的。
OK.
好的。
Eric Kaufman So we started doing the pan-pans and didn't get anything back.
埃里克·考夫曼（Eric Kaufman）于是我们开始做平底锅，但没有得到任何回报。
Does that mean that the radio isn't working, or does that mean that no one is close enough to hear you?
这是否意味着收音机无法正常工作，或者是否意味着附近没有人能够听到您的声音？
I don't know.
我不知道。
Charlotte Kaufman I thought, how are we going to do this?
夏洛特·考夫曼 我想，我们该怎么做呢？
I made him do the math.
我让他算了算。
I said, how much longer do we have?
我说，我们还有多久？
if she is sick and she doesn't get better, will we be there in a week?
如果她病了并且没有好转，我们一周后会去那里吗？
And he did the math, and three weeks, and I thought, oh gosh, how are we going to do this?
他做了数学计算，花了三个星期，我想，天哪，我们要怎么做呢？
You wouldn't be there for three weeks.
你不会在那里三个星期。
Wow.
哇。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass Now, it's not just that they're three weeks from where they're going.
Ira Glass：现在，这不仅仅是他们距离目的地还有三周的时间。
Where they're going is incredibly rustic-- the Marquesas island chain in French Polynesia.
他们要去的地方非常质朴——法属波利尼西亚的马克萨斯群岛。
A beautiful place, but a place that is not notorious for its medical services.
一个美丽的地方，但一个并不因其医疗服务而臭名昭著的地方。
Right?
正确的？
Like they don't have a blood testing facility there.
就像他们那里没有血液检测设施一样。
Right?
正确的？
The first place we were going to go to doesn't even accept-- they don't even use money.
我们要去的第一个地方甚至不接受——他们甚至不使用钱。
So he and Charlotte sit in the boat's cabin and they talk.
于是他和夏洛特坐在船舱里聊天。
He remembers he had his logbook in his hand.
他记得他手里拿着日志。
So at that point you've got a boat that isn't horribly bad.
所以到那时你就有了一艘还不错的船。
But you've got a boat that has flooding that your automatic bilge pumps won't keep up with anymore.
但你的船已经进水了，你的自动舱底泵已经无法跟上。
No one would go to sea on a boat like that.
没有人会乘坐这样的船出海。
It's not good.
这不好。
It's not fatal.
这并不致命。
But it's not good.
但这并不好。
We have unknown, other structural damage that's causing water to come in, beyond what I've been able to see.
我们还发现其他未知的结构损坏导致水渗入，超出了我所能看到的范围。
Yeah.
是的。
One of our solar panels was ripped off.
我们的一块太阳能电池板被扯掉了。
Some of our electronics were starting to fail because the water was going into the battery compartment.
我们的一些电子设备开始出现故障，因为水进入了电池室。
Our satellite phone was out.
我们的卫星电话坏了。
So now if we needed any other kind of medical care at all-- if somebody bonked their head, anything-- my child had whatever medical stuff was going on with her.
所以现在如果我们需要任何其他类型的医疗护理——如果有人摇头，任何事情——我的孩子有她身上发生的任何医疗问题。
The symptoms are pretty clear and laid out as they are.
症状非常清楚并且按原样列出。
And I don't see it getting any better.
我认为情况没有任何改善。
When you lay it out this way, it seems like it wasn't actually a difficult decision.
当你这样安排时，看起来这实际上并不是一个困难的决定。
It seems like it was obvious what to do, like you didn't actually have to struggle.
似乎该做什么是显而易见的，就像你实际上不必挣扎一样。
Do I have that right?
我有这个权利吗？
Yeah.
是的。
It really took about 10 minutes once I realized-- I mean, really once you know that you have a person on board that is sick with an ailment that is not responding to the treatment that is provided to it, and you no longer have access to medical care, and you won't for weeks to go, and that that person is-- once you know that right there, what else would you do?
我真的花了大约 10 分钟才意识到——我的意思是，一旦你知道船上有一个人患有某种疾病，对所提供的治疗没有反应，你将无法再获得医疗护理，并且在接下来的几周内你都无法获得医疗护理，而那个人就是——一旦你知道了这一点，你还会做什么？
I mean, what would you do?
我的意思是，你会怎么做？
Would you just keep sailing for three weeks?
你愿意继续航行三个星期吗？
Now, of course, if they take action, if they use the EPIRB-- remember the EPIRB is the emergency device that calls for help-- nobody is going to tow their boat to safety, they're boat which they had been living on, their boat that was their whole life.
现在，当然，如果他们采取行动，如果他们使用 EPIRB——记住 EPIRB 是寻求帮助的紧急装置——没有人会把他们的船拖到安全的地方，他们是他们一直生活的船，他们的船就是他们的一生。
Nobody was going to pick them up, and save their daughter, and then return them to their boat later.
没有人会去接他们，救他们的女儿，然后再把他们送回船上。
And at that point, he said we've got to use the EPIRB.
那时，他说我们必须使用 EPIRB。
And I had walked forward in the boat, which is a challenge.
而我是坐着船往前走的，这是一个挑战。
Forward is always the bumpiest part of the boat.
船头永远是船上最颠簸的部分。
And I was kind of feigning like I needed to go to the bathroom, but I was really just trying to walk away from the decision.
我假装我需要去洗手间，但实际上我只是想放弃这个决定。
And he just followed me forward and sat there talking and saying this is what we've got to do.
他只是跟着我往前走，坐在那里说话，说这就是我们必须要做的。
And I'm standing there holding onto the boat, bumping up and down because I'm in the bumpiest part of the boat.
我站在那里，扶着船，上下颠簸，因为我处于船最颠簸的部分。
And you know that if you hit the EPIRB, help will come.
而且您知道，如果您联系 EPIRB，就会有帮助。
But when you hit it you also know that [VOICE BREAKS] your home is gone.
但当你按下它时，你也知道[声音中断]你的家不见了。
Damn.
该死。
Charlotte Kaufman Yeah.
夏洛特·考夫曼 是的。
[SNIFFLES]
[抽鼻子]
So that's the hard part.
这就是最困难的部分。
You're safe.
你很安全。
Well, hopefully you'll be safe.
好吧，希望你能安全。
But that's it.
但仅此而已。
Logistically, I go, and take it, and strap it up to deck up on one of the handrails up on the foredeck So it has a little sticker that says, keep a clear view of the sky.
从逻辑上讲，我去把它拿起来，然后把它绑在前甲板的一个扶手上，所以它有一个小贴纸，上面写着“保持天空的清晰视野”。
And then it just sits there strobing, which is interesting because you wonder, is it actually doing anything or is it just strobing.
然后它只是坐在那里频闪，这很有趣，因为你想知道，它实际上在做什么还是只是频闪。
And then you wait.
然后你就等着吧。
There's nothing, no magical sparkles that come out.
什么也没有，没有神奇的火花散发出来。
There's nothing that says, we got it.
没什么可说的，我们明白了。
We got your message.
我们收到您的消息了。
You just have to trust that somebody, somewhere, in front of a computer is getting this message and it's going to help coordinate getting you help.
您只需要相信电脑前的某个人正在收到此消息，并且它将帮助协调为您提供帮助。
So that was in the morning of their 16th day at sea that they pushed the button on the EPIRB.
就在他们出海第 16 天的早上，他们按下了 EPIRB 按钮。
It took until near sunset for anything to happen.
一直到日落时分，事情才发生。
First there was a burst of static on the radio, which they thought was dead, the radio.
首先，收音机里传来一阵静电干扰声，他们以为收音机已经死了。
They hadn't heard anything from anybody on it in a week.
他们已经一周没有收到任何人的任何消息了。
It was a plane with rescuers saying they were on their way.
这是一架飞机，救援人员说他们正在路上。
And then this C130 just comes screeching out of the middle of nowhere and buzzes us-- it seems like maybe 100 feet, 200 feet off the deck-- really close, comes right on top of us.
然后这架 C130 突然从不知名的地方呼啸而出，让我们嗡嗡作响——看起来距离甲板可能有 100 英尺、200 英尺——非常接近，就在我们的头顶上。
And then in my head, on the one hand you want to start singing the national anthem.
然后在我的脑海里，一方面你想开始唱国歌。
Right?
正确的？
You're seriously like, dude, no corniness aside, this is awesome.
你真的很喜欢，伙计，除了陈词滥调之外，这太棒了。
I live in a country that can do this.
我生活在一个可以做到这一点的国家。
This button I pressed caused this plane to show up.
我按下这个按钮导致这架飞机出现。
And then you start wondering, you're like, wait a second.
然后你开始想，你会想，等一下。
It's a plane and we're on a boat, and we need to get out of here.
这是一架飞机，而我们在船上，我们需要离开这里。
How is that going to work?
这将如何运作？
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Eric Kaufman What?
埃里克·考夫曼 什么？
You know.
你知道。
Sure enough, they throw smoke grenades out the back and out come-- they kick some gear out the back that comes out on a parachute.
果然，他们从后面扔了烟雾弹，然后把一些装备从后面踢了出来，这些装备是降落伞上的。
So then these four guys all jump out of the back with their parachute gear and they have a Zodiac, an inflatable boat with and outboard on the back.
然后这四个人都带着降落伞从后面跳出来，他们有一艘 Zodiac，一艘充气船，后面有舷外机。
And they press some buttons and [ENGINE NOISE] this thing pops to life and they all hop in it.
他们按下一些按钮，[引擎噪音]这个东西就会突然出现，他们都跳进去。
And then, long story short, they got close to us.
然后，长话短说，他们离我们很近。
We got close to them.
我们离他们很近。
And then we bring these guys on board and they just hop on the boat.
然后我们把这些人带上船，他们就跳上船。
And then one of the guys immediately went down and started working with Lyra.
然后其中一个人立即下去并开始与莱拉一起工作。
This is the baby.
这是婴儿。
Eric Kaufman Yeah.
埃里克·考夫曼 是的。
They're all very highly trained medical professionals.
他们都是训练有素的医疗专业人员。
So one of the guys just immediately went to her.
所以其中一个人立即走向她。
The Pacific Ocean is so big that it took three days for a Navy vessel to get to them at full speed.
太平洋太大了，一艘海军舰艇全速到达需要三天时间。
The four guys stayed on the sailboat with the Kaufmans during that time with all their gear in the tiny, non-air conditioned cabin.
在那段时间里，这四个人和考夫曼一家一起呆在帆船上，他们的所有装备都放在狭小的、没有空调的船舱里。
Six adults and two kids in this small boat.
这艘小船上有六个成人和两个孩子。
Eric says everybody got to know everybody pretty well.
埃里克说每个人都非常了解每个人。
When they transferred off the boat to the USS Vandergrift, Charlotte had the kids say goodbye to their home, and she said goodbye herself.
当他们下船前往范德格里夫特号航空母舰时，夏洛特让孩子们告别了他们的家，而她自己也告别了。
Eric cut some hoses inside the boat which flooded it with seawater and sank his own boat.
埃里克割断了船内的一些软管，海水淹没了船，导致他自己的船沉没。
He didn't watch it go down though.
但他并没有眼睁睁地看着它沉下去。
It's been a month now.
现在已经一个月了。
They never did figure out what exactly Lyra had that made her so sick.
他们从来没有弄清楚莱拉究竟患有什么病，让她病得如此严重。
And she's still not completely recovered, but she's doing better.
她还没有完全康复，但已经好多了。
And Charlotte and Eric say they do not regret the decision they made.
夏洛特和埃里克表示，他们并不后悔自己做出的决定。
And I don't really need anybody to validate that.
我真的不需要任何人来验证这一点。
I know there's people out there who have their thoughts and their commentary about things, sending emails that me and my family should go drown.
我知道有些人对事物有自己的想法和评论，他们发送电子邮件让我和我的家人应该被淹死。
I couldn't really give a [BLEEP] less what a whole bunch of people think.
我真的无法给出一大群人的想法。
I mean, we were where we were.
我的意思是，我们就在原地。
We had the situation that we had, and here we are.
我们曾经遇到过这样的情况，现在我们就到了这里。
Alive.
活。
Eric Kaufman Yeah.
埃里克·考夫曼 是的。
So I could flip it around the other way and say I'm a 35-year-old man who made his family homeless.
所以我可以反过来说我是一个 35 岁的男人，他让他的家人无家可归。
If I'm feeling negative about it, I could look at it that way too.
如果我对此感到消极，我也可以这样看待它。
Eric Kaufman.
埃里克·考夫曼。
Coming up, Senators gone wild.
即将到来，参议员们疯狂了。
Well, one Senator anyway.
好吧，无论如何，一位参议员。
That's in a minute.
就在一分钟之内。
From Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，来自芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, Call for Help.
今天的节目是《呼救》。
We've arrived at act two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two, Government Assistance.
第二幕，政府援助。
This next story is about what might be one of the strangest constituent requests of a politician ever.
下一个故事讲述的是政客有史以来最奇怪的选民要求之一。
it's told to us by a fellow Public Radio reporter from WNYC, Anna Sale.
这是 WNYC 公共广播电台记者安娜·赛尔 (Anna Sale) 告诉我们的。
One day last fall my cellphone went dead at work.
去年秋天的一天，我的手机在工作时没电了。
I left it to charge on a co-workers desk.
我把它放在同事办公桌上充电。
When I picked it up a few hours later, there was this odd message.
几个小时后，当我拿起它时，收到了一条奇怪的消息。
Ms. Anna Sale.
安娜·赛尔女士。
This is Alan K.
这是艾伦·K.
Simpson in the wilds of Wyoming.
辛普森在怀俄明州的荒野中。
Former US Senator.
前美国参议员。
I need to talk to you about an urgent matter.
我需要和你谈谈一件紧急的事情。
Nothing life threatening at all, I can assure you.
我可以向你保证，没有任何生命危险。
But give me a call.
但请给我打电话。
I was covering politics at the time, but there was no reason that former Republican Senator Alan Simpson should be calling me out of the blue, urgent or otherwise.
当时我正在报道政治，但前共和党参议员艾伦·辛普森没有理由突然给我打电话，无论是紧急的还是其他的。
Anyway, give me a buzz at your convenience.
不管怎样，请在您方便的时候给我打电话。
As I say, I'm in Laramie right now, I was in San Francisco yesterday.
正如我所说，我现在在拉勒米，昨天我在旧金山。
Headed for Washington Saturday.
周六前往华盛顿。
And so there your are.
你就是这样。
OK.
好的。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Bye-bye.
再见。
I wanted to call him back immediately, but it was weird enough that I waited a few minutes until I was out of the office.
我想立即给他回电话，但奇怪的是我等了几分钟才离开办公室。
It was the end of the day.
那天已经结束了。
I was on my way home walking up Sixth Avenue in Manhattan toward the subway.
我正在回家的路上，沿着曼哈顿第六大道走向地铁。
Senator Simpson, I said, this is Anna Sale.
辛普森参议员，我说，这是安娜·赛尔。
He sounded delighted to hear back from me.
他听起来很高兴收到我的回复。
And then he started telling me why he called.
然后他开始告诉我他打电话的原因。
It didn't have anything to do with the national debt or anything else Al Simpson is known for in politics.
这与国债或艾尔·辛普森在政治上闻名的其他任何事情都没有任何关系。
He wanted to talk to me about my ex-boyfriend Arthur.
他想和我谈谈我的前男友亚瑟。
In other words, Senator Alan Simpson, a total stranger, wanted to talk to me about my love life.
换句话说，艾伦·辛普森参议员，一个完全陌生的人，想和我谈谈我的爱情生活。
I better explain.
我最好解释一下。
A month before, Arthur and I had broken up.
一个月前，亚瑟和我分手了。
We'd been mostly long distance for two years.
两年来我们大部分时间都在异地。
He's an ecologist, and he was spending a lot of time in Wyoming doing field work.
他是一名生态学家，他花了很多时间在怀俄明州进行实地工作。
He was finally going to move to New York to be with me, but I had the feeling it wasn't for keeps.
他终于要搬到纽约和我在一起了，但我有一种感觉，这不会长久。
I asked him if we were going to buy a couch together and he dodged the question.
我问他我们是否要一起买一张沙发，他回避了这个问题。
So on the day I was going to sign a lease for our new apartment, we got on the phone and agreed to call it off.
因此，在我要签署新公寓租约的那天，我们通了电话并同意取消。
After we hung up, I backed out of the apartment and he had to deal with a half-packed U-haul in Wyoming.
挂断电话后，我退出了公寓，他不得不在怀俄明州处理一辆半满的U-haul。
No. It was not half packed.
不，它还没有装满一半。
It was entirely packed, dammit.
完全挤满了，该死。
This is Arthur.
这是亚瑟。
Our breakup was one of those classic, I love you, but this isn't going to work, breakups.
我们的分手是经典的分手之一，我爱你，但这行不通，分手。
Our version was, we're in our 30s.
我们的版本是，我们已经30多岁了。
I'm a reporter in the city.
我是城里的一名记者。
You study wildlife in the wild.
你在野外研究野生动物。
This doesn't have a future.
这没有未来。
Arthur returned the U-haul.
亚瑟归还了U-haul。
And just a tip if you're ever in this situation, he got all his money back when he mentioned the breakup.
如果你遇到这种情况，请注意，当他提到分手时，他拿回了所有的钱。
A few weeks went by, then Arthur texted and called.
几个星期过去了，亚瑟发短信和打电话。
He'd changed his mind.
他改变了主意。
He wanted to get back together.
他想复合。
Arthur kept insisting he had a plan for how our lives really could fit together.
亚瑟一直坚称他有一个计划，可以让我们的生活真正融为一体。
I thought he was panicking about being alone.
我以为他因为孤独而感到恐慌。
We were just in different places.
我们只是在不同的地方。
You thought it was impossible for me to figure all that out, and I knew it was possible.
你认为我不可能弄清楚这一切，但我知道这是可能的。
Well I basically said, this is not the way it's going to happen.
好吧，我基本上是说，事情不会这样发生。
Oh really?
哦真的吗？
Anna Sale You said, Anna, I know you're the only one for me.
安娜·赛尔 你说，安娜，我知道你是我唯一的人。
And I'm one of the only ones for you.
我是唯一适合你的人之一。
I know that.
我知道。
Oh, God.
哦，上帝。
[CHUCKLES] Wow.
[轻笑]哇。
Anna Sale It was so hard, so sad, but I just wasn't convinced.
Anna Sale 这太难了，太悲伤了，但我就是不相信。
So I pushed ahead.
所以我继续前进。
I got busy with work.
我工作很忙。
I even went on a few dates.
我什至还去约会过几次。
I heard from friends that Arthur was a mess.
我听朋友说亚瑟是个一团糟的人。
And at some point I was just sitting there and I just thought, well, I can't-- there's no argument that I can make.
在某个时刻，我只是坐在那里，我只是想，好吧，我不能——我无法提出任何争论。
I've said everything I can say.
我已经说了我能说的一切。
So either she changes her mind or something else has to happen.
所以要么她改变主意，要么必须发生其他事情。
Something funny has to happen.
一定会发生一些有趣的事情。
Things had just gotten too hard, and they had gotten too-- our story had just become too--
事情变得太艰难了，而且它们也变得——我们的故事变得太——
Heavy.
重。
Arthur Heavy.
亚瑟·重.
"Dear Senator Simpson, the love of my life, Ms. Anna Sale, lives in New York City.
“亲爱的辛普森参议员，我一生的挚爱安娜·赛尔女士住在纽约市。
We've known each other for two years and three months.
我们认识两年零三个月了。
I love Wyoming and have indulged its pull a little too much.
我爱怀俄明州，并且过分沉迷于它的吸引力。
And so a month ago, Anna stopped believing I would ever close the distance to be with her, and she cut me loose.
所以一个月前，安娜不再相信我会拉近和她在一起的距离，她放开了我。
I don't blame her.
我不怪她。
I was being a fool and I took her for granted, but now I see, eyes wide open, my mistake."
我当时是个傻瓜，我把她视为理所当然，但现在我睁大了眼睛，明白了我的错误。”
"Senator Simpson-- this is the one-- I poured my heart and soul into Wyoming for six years.
“辛普森参议员——就是这个——我在怀俄明州倾注了六年的心血。
I hope you will consider this as a favor for a man who's risked it all for that place.
我希望你能将此视为对一个为那个地方冒着一切风险的人的恩惠。
Perhaps"--
也许”——
Arthur wanted Al Simpson to call me and invite me to a ball in Wyoming.
亚瑟希望艾尔·辛普森给我打电话，邀请我参加怀俄明州的一个舞会。
All the Wyoming political royalty would be there-- Al Simpson, Dick Cheney.
所有怀俄明州的政治人物都会出席——阿尔·辛普森、迪克·切尼。
I'd known for months that Arthur was going to be a guest of honor at this ball.
几个月前我就知道亚瑟将成为这次舞会的主宾。
He was getting this big prize for Wildlife Research.
他因野生动物研究而获得了这项大奖。
I was supposed to be Arthur's plus one, until I told him I wasn't going anymore.
我本来应该是亚瑟的加一，直到我告诉他我不再去了。
That's when Arthur wrote to Al.
就在那时，亚瑟写信给阿尔。
And Al, and his wife Ann, got involved.
艾尔和他的妻子安也参与其中。
OK.
好的。
When you first read that, what did you think?
当你第一次读到这篇文章时，你有什么想法？
I just thought it was the auditor, the agents.
我只是以为是审计员、代理人。
And I looked at it, put it away, and then Ann and I were in Denver.
我看了看它，把它收起来，然后安和我就到了丹佛。
And I said, I got to do something with this thing.
我说，我必须对这件事做点什么。
I think I'll just toss it.
我想我就扔掉它吧。
And Ann looked at it, and she said, worth a try.
安看着它，她说，值得一试。
This is just the sweetest letter.
这只是最甜蜜的信。
And I thought, that would be a shame not to call.
我想，不打电话就太可惜了。
He seemed very desperate.
他看上去非常绝望。
Anna Sale He was desperate, and some of that had rubbed off on Al.
安娜·塞尔（Anna Sale） 他很绝望，其中一些也影响到了阿尔。
When he reached me on the phone that first time, I got a hard sell.
当他第一次打电话给我时，我受到了强烈的推销。
You confessed he didn't know much about us.
你承认他对我们了解不多。
But he told me all couples have hard times.
但他告诉我所有的夫妻都有困难的时候。
Then Ann got on the line and asked me, what have you got to lose?
然后安打电话来问我，你会失去什么？
It was bizarre.
这很奇怪。
But I was also moved.
但我也很感动。
Arthur's Hail Mary was totally romantic.
亚瑟的《万福玛丽》非常浪漫。
I told Arthur I'd go to the ball with him.
我告诉阿瑟我会和他一起去参加舞会。
And that weekend in Wyoming was wonderful.
在怀俄明州的那个周末真是太棒了。
The Simpsons were just as sweet and open as they seemed on the phone.
辛普森一家就像电话里那样甜蜜、开放。
They were easy to talk to.
他们很容易交谈。
Arthur and I ended up telling them stories about how we'd met, and why we'd split up.
亚瑟和我最终向他们讲述了我们如何相遇以及为何分手的故事。
They chimed in with their own.
他们也附和着自己的观点。
And then, a few weeks after the ball, Arthur and I got back together.
然后，舞会几周后，阿瑟和我又复合了。
He even moved in with me in New York.
他甚至搬到纽约和我一起住。
And strangely, we kept talking to Al and Ann Simpson.
奇怪的是，我们一直在和艾尔·辛普森和安·辛普森交谈。
After that first phone call, we talked a lot.
第一次通电话后，我们聊了很多。
They gave us advice.
他们给了我们建议。
I needed it.
我需要它。
I was still uncertain about the future.
我对未来仍然不确定。
Because, look, I'm divorced, I'm in my 30s, I want to be a mother.
因为，你看，我离婚了，我已经 30 多岁了，我想成为一名母亲。
I was so afraid of making the wrong choice again and losing time.
我很害怕再次做出错误的选择并浪费时间。
And after things had been so strained with Arthur, it was a relief to listen to the Simpsons who'd been together 60 years but hadn't always felt like they were on solid ground either.
在与亚瑟的关系如此紧张之后，听辛普森一家的谈话真是一种解脱，他们已经在一起 60 年了，但并不总是感觉他们有坚实的基础。
They didn't always know what was going to happen together.
他们并不总是知道在一起会发生什么。
Ann struggled in their marriage when their three kids were young.
当三个孩子还小的时候，安在婚姻中陷入了困境。
And before that, when they were dating Al was drinking a lot, and Ann worried that he was an alcoholic.
在此之前，他们约会时阿尔喝了很多酒，安担心他是个酒鬼。
They weren't just telling me these stories to get them off their chest.
他们告诉我这些故事不仅仅是为了发泄心中的不满。
It did seem like they really wanted to help Arthur and me.
看来他们真的很想帮助亚瑟和我。
It was surprisingly intimate and useful.
这是令人惊讶的亲密和有用。
So much so that I asked if I could come to their house in Cody, Wyoming and talk to them some more.
以至于我问我是否可以去他们位于怀俄明州科迪的家，和他们再聊聊。
They said, sure.
他们说，当然。
They're like these elder statesman of relationships.
他们就像这些关系中的元老政治家。
They enjoy showing off what they've learned.
他们喜欢炫耀他们所学到的东西。
Take this story about one big fight that started on a dance floor.
以一个关于一场在舞池上开始的大战的故事为例。
Al and Ann were at some event.
艾尔和安参加了某个活动。
And she was dancing with a guy who I knew was a horny old toad.
她正在和一个男人跳舞，我知道他是一只性欲旺盛的老蟾蜍。
And I thought-- and she loves to dance.
我想——她喜欢跳舞。
And so she's whirling around the floor and giggling and laughing.
于是她在地板上旋转，咯咯地笑。
And so anyway, I got home and I said, I want to tell you something.
不管怎样，我回到家后说，我想告诉你一些事情。
I saw you snuggling up to that horny bastard there.
我看到你依偎在那个好色的混蛋那里。
And she said, look, I am not into this to play games.
她说，听着，我不喜欢玩游戏。
But I'm not going to be under a glass lid just because of your jealousy.
但我不会因为你的嫉妒而被置于玻璃盖之下。
And I love to dance.
我喜欢跳舞。
And I will do that.
我会这么做的。
And I'm not going to jump in the sack with somebody, so I think you better get over it.
我不会和某人一起跳槽，所以我认为你最好克服它。
Which really pissed me off.
这真的让我很生气。
So I gave her a lecture-- it was a beautiful thing-- about life, and fealty, and love, and loyalty, and all the rest.
所以我给她上了一堂课——这是一件美丽的事情——关于生活、忠诚、爱、忠诚以及其他一切。
I thought, she won't sleep a wink.
我想，她不会合眼。
And 10 minutes later, I look in, she [SNORES].
10 分钟后，我往里一看，她[打鼾]。
Absolutely dead, but asleep.
绝对死了，但是睡着了。
Guilt free.
无罪。
Alan Simpson Guilt free.
艾伦·辛普森无罪。
And me?
而我呢？
I got boulders in my gut down here.
我的肚子里有巨石。
I didn't sleep, but I did one important thing.
我没有睡觉，但我做了一件重要的事情。
I'd always loved Shakespeare.
我一直很喜欢莎士比亚。
And I went in and read Othello that night-- took a long while-- how he killed the most beautiful person in his life, Desdemona, choked her, smothered her right in the bed, the marriage bed.
那天晚上我进去读了《奥赛罗》——花了很长时间——他如何杀死了他生命中最美丽的人苔丝狄蒙娜，掐死了她，将她闷死在床上，婚床上。
I thought, Jesus, this is one sick son-of-a-bitch.
我心想，天啊，这真是个有病的王八蛋。
This is not me.
这不是我。
This is totally destructive and has nothing to do with her.
这完全是破坏性的，与她无关。
The Simpsons say they learned to get past things, like Al's jealousy, by doing the obvious thing-- talking about it.
辛普森一家说，他们学会了通过做显而易见的事情——谈论它来克服一些事情，比如艾尔的嫉妒。
Sounds trite until you hear just how corrosive not talking about something can be.
听起来很老套，直到你听到不谈论某事是多么具有腐蚀性。
The Simpsons told me there was one thing they didn't talk about until they were at least a decade into their marriage, and it didn't come out until after they did some couple's counseling through their church.
辛普森一家告诉我，有一件事他们直到结婚至少十年后才谈论，直到他们通过教堂对一些夫妇进行咨询后才透露出来。
And one time-- I don't know, we'd been married 15 years-- she said, I've never told you something.
有一次——我不知道，我们结婚已经 15 年了——她说，我从来没有告诉过你一件事。
And I said, well, go ahead.
我说，好吧，继续吧。
I'd had an experience of being molested.
我有过被骚扰的经历。
And it was just something that I was always aware of when I had sex.
当我做爱时，我总是意识到这一点。
And once I was able to talk about it, it diminished.
一旦我能够谈论它，它就减少了。
It was a gift.
这是一份礼物。
It did.
确实如此。
I felt safe.
我感到很安全。
That's exactly right.
完全正确。
The hardest thing for all couples to talk about is sex.
对于所有夫妻来说，最难谈论的事情就是性。
And it's hard to believe, but it is.
很难相信，但事实确实如此。
And the big issues in all marriages that hang it up is your sexual relationship.
所有婚姻破裂的最大问题就是你们的性关系。
We're older, so it isn't the issue now that it was when we were young, but it was a big issue, and it is in all marriages.
我们年纪大了，所以现在这不是我们年轻时的问题，但这是一个大问题，在所有婚姻中都是如此。
Well, then when you talk about it you think, well, there's a couple of horny people.
好吧，那么当你谈论它时，你会想，好吧，有几个好色的人。
No, that's not the point.
不，这不是重点。
It's called intimacy.
这就是所谓的亲密。
Scratch my back, give me a hug, just a hug.
挠挠我的背，给我一个拥抱，只是一个拥抱。
And I said, OK.
我说，好吧。
[PANTING] You know.
[气喘吁吁]你知道。
But just a touch.
但只是轻轻一碰。
You know, a whack on the fanny in the kitchen or whatever, whatever.
你知道，在厨房里敲打屁股或者其他什么。
Hearing these very personal details about their marriage, I could almost forget about their very public lives.
听到这些关于他们婚姻的非常私人的细节，我几乎忘记了他们非常公开的生活。
But then Al and Ann told me about one of their hardest moments.
但后来艾尔和安告诉我他们最艰难的时刻之一。
It happened right at the center of a national controversy.
这件事发生在全国争议的中心。
Tell them about-- Ann Simpson Yes.
告诉他们——安·辛普森 是的。
That's when he was in the Clarence Thomas thing.
那时他正处于克拉伦斯·托马斯的事情中。
Pissed me off.
惹恼了我。
Ann Simpson And I said to all the men on that one-- I said, you all came across like a bunch of bullies.
安·辛普森 我对那个节目中的所有男人说——我说，你们都像一群恶霸。
This was back in 1991.
这已经是 1991 年的事情了。
If you remember, Clarence Thomas was a nominee for the Supreme Court.
如果您还记得的话，克拉伦斯·托马斯是最高法院的提名人。
A law professor named Anita Hill told the Senate Judiciary Committee that Thomas had sexually harassed her when he was her boss.
一位名叫安妮塔·希尔的法学教授告诉参议院司法委员会，托马斯在担任她的老板时对她进行了性骚扰。
Al Simpson was a Republican on that committee, and he had some questions about Anita Hill's story and her motives.
阿尔·辛普森是该委员会的共和党人，他对安妮塔·希尔的故事和动机有一些疑问。
If what you say this man said to you occurred, why in God's name would you ever speak to a man like that the rest of your life?
如果这个人对你说的话发生了，看在上帝的份上，你为什么要在余生中和这样的人说话呢？
That's a very good question.
这是一个非常好的问题。
Anna Sale While the hearings were happening in DC, Ann was back in Wyoming, caring for her mother who was critically ill.
安娜·塞尔 (Anna Sale) 在华盛顿特区举行听证会时，安回到了怀俄明州，照顾病危的母亲。
And I was not following it moment by moment.
我并没有时刻关注它。
And when I finally did, I just couldn't believe the way Al was operating.
当我最终这么做时，我简直不敢相信艾尔的运作方式。
And I did tell him, you all sound terrible.
我确实告诉他，你们听起来都很糟糕。
You sound like a bunch of male chauvinist pigs.
你们听起来就像一群大男子主义的猪。
Al and Ann said they talked every night during those hearings.
艾尔和安说，他们在听证会上每晚都会交谈。
And I would say, you know-- Alan Simpson She'd say, I don't know what you were doing today, but for God's sake, you looked really nasty.
我会说，你知道——艾伦·辛普森 她会说，我不知道你今天在做什么，但看在上帝的份上，你看起来真的很糟糕。
You looked like a beast.
你看起来就像一头野兽。
Alan Simpson But don't forget, I'd had a wife-- I never said who a wife-- a mother-- one of whom had been abused.
艾伦·辛普森：但是别忘了，我有一个妻子——我从来没有说过谁是妻子——母亲——其中一个曾被虐待。
One of whom who'd had much more harassment than Anita Hill.
其中一位比安妮塔·希尔受到的骚扰要多得多。
And that's where I lost my marbles.
这就是我失去理智的地方。
I thought, what is this?
我想，这是什么？
I mean, for God's sake, what did he do?
我的意思是，看在上帝的份上，他做了什么？
Well, nothing.
好吧，没什么。
Did he touch you?
他碰过你吗？
No. What it it?
不，这是什么？
Well, he wanted to talk about Long Dong Silver, and pubic hair, and Coke cans.
嗯，他想谈谈龙东银、阴毛和可乐罐。
Is that it?
是这样吗？
Yes it is.
是的。
I wanted you to be aware of his behavior.
我想让你注意他的行为。
And so I was a monster.
所以我是一个怪物。
I just was pissed to the core.
我简直生气到了极点。
Al Simpson got called out, not just by his wife.
艾尔·辛普森不仅被他的妻子叫了出来。
Editorials across the country blasted him for attacking Anita Hill with rumor and innuendo.
全国各地的社论都谴责他用谣言和影射攻击安妮塔·希尔。
Al Simpson lashed back at the press, and Ann knew he was going too far.
艾尔·辛普森猛烈回击媒体，安知道他太过分了。
He just kept getting more and more worked up.
他只是变得越来越激动。
They had lost their balance.
他们失去了平衡。
And then, one time he was at home and I said, you know, you have a wonderful reputation the way you've always operated.
然后，有一次他在家，我说，你知道，你一直以来的运作方式都享有盛誉。
And it seems to me that you are caught in something, and you just need to shut up.
在我看来，你似乎陷入了某种困境，你只需要闭嘴。
Shut up.
住口。
Ann Simpson He said, you've never said that to me before.
安·辛普森 他说，你以前从来没有对我说过这样的话。
And I said, well I am now.
我说，我现在就是了。
There's a time to just recognize when you're out of control.
当你失控的时候，你需要意识到这一点。
And sometimes you have to identify that in the other person.
有时你必须在对方身上找出这一点。
This is still a tender spot for Al Simpson when it comes up.
当这个问题出现时，这仍然是阿尔·辛普森的一个敏感点。
Somethings he's contrite about, other things he re-litigates.
他对一些事情感到懊悔，对另一些事情他重新提起诉讼。
And Ann's still disappointed.
安仍然很失望。
It's not resolved, it's just passed, stitched into their long relationship together.
这件事并没有解决，只是过去了，融入了他们长期的关系中。
That's what the Simpsons kept saying to me.
这就是辛普森一家一直对我说的话。
You're never going to get rid of conflict, so you have to face it.
你永远无法摆脱冲突，所以你必须面对它。
And you have to do that together.
你们必须一起做到这一点。
That's all it is.
仅此而已。
You decide to make it work.
你决定让它发挥作用。
There are lot's of different ways.
有很多不同的方法。
We had ways.
我们有办法。
Other people have different ways.
其他人有不同的方法。
You make a decision.
你做出决定。
That was the big thing I had to do, decide.
这是我必须做的大事，决定。
We didn't have to have all the logistics hammered out, we just had to make the choice to figure it out together.
我们不必敲定所有的后勤工作，我们只需做出选择，共同解决这个问题。
So as crazy as it sounds, Arthur's letter to Al Simpson worked, not because he convinced a retired politician to call me up, but because it reminded me of the kind of man Arthur is-- dogged, and brave, and willing to ask for help when we need it.
尽管听起来很疯狂，但亚瑟给阿尔·辛普森的信起了作用，不是因为他说服了一位退休政客给我打电话，而是因为它让我想起亚瑟是一个怎样的人——顽强、勇敢，在我们需要时愿意寻求帮助。
A good person to spend decades figuring things out with.
一个值得花几十年时间解决问题的好人。
And Al and Ann Simpson, they still keep up with us.
艾尔和安·辛普森夫妇仍然跟上我们的脚步。
They just had Arthur over for dinner when he was back in Wyoming for work.
当亚瑟回到怀俄明州工作时，他们刚刚请他过来吃晚饭。
Ann kept asking him when we were going to get married already.
安一直问他我们什么时候结婚。
She even offered possible venues in town.
她甚至提供了城里可能的场地。
I think Al thought she was being a little pushy.
我认为阿尔认为她有点咄咄逼人。
Because the next day, I was sitting at my desk in New York and my cell phone rang.
因为第二天，我坐在纽约的办公桌前，我的手机响了。
It was former Senator Alan Simpson, calling again to talk about my love life.
是前参议员艾伦·辛普森再次打电话来谈论我的爱情生活。
He wanted me to know Arthur handled it all just fine.
他想让我知道亚瑟处理得很好。
Anna Sale.
安娜·赛尔.
This story is part of her brand new podcast, Death, Sex, and Money, which comes from WNYC.
这个故事是她的全新播客《死亡、性和金钱》的一部分，该播客来自 WNYC。
It just launched this week.
它本周刚刚推出。
Welcome to the world new podcast.
欢迎来到新播客世界。
The whole idea of this podcast is that Anna's show is going to feature lots of intimate conversations-- like the one you just heard with the Simpsons-- about things that we all deal with but are usually to polite to bring up.
这个播客的整个想法是，安娜的节目将包含许多亲密的对话——就像你刚刚听到的辛普森一家——关于我们都会处理但通常礼貌地提出的事情。
It's free to sign up.
注册是免费的。
Get it weekly.
每周获取一次。
Go to iTunes or deathsexmoney.org.
前往 iTunes 或 DeathsexMoney.org。
Act Three, horse of a Different Color.
第三幕，不同颜色的马。
So usually when you look for outside help, what you need is an expert.
因此，通常当您寻求外部帮助时，您需要的是专家。
Right?
正确的？
You need a Senator.
你需要一位参议员。
You need paramedics with parachutes.
你需要携带降落伞的护理人员。
You need somebody with experience and skills.
您需要有经验和技能的人。
Though the family of one of our producers, Chana Joffe-Walt, found themselves with a problem.
尽管我们的一位制片人查纳·乔菲-沃尔特 (Chana Joffe-Walt) 的家人发现自己遇到了问题。
And after going to all the usual places, and experts, and all that, they found themselves saved not by one of them, but by a complete novice.
在去了所有常见的地方、专家以及所有这些之后，他们发现自己不是被其中一个人拯救的，而是被一个完全的新手拯救的。
Just a note, because the story gets into the personal lives of children, we have changed some other names.
请注意，因为这个故事涉及孩子们的个人生活，所以我们更改了其他一些名字。
Here's Chana.
这是查娜。
Usually you have no idea how your new baby compares to her peers until you go to the pediatrician and they put her the scale, they show you those charts, and you can see your kid is under weight or tall.
通常，您不知道您的新生儿与同龄人相比如何，直到您去看儿科医生，他们给她量体重秤，并向您展示这些图表，您可以看到您的孩子体重不足或身高。
It wasn't like that with my sister Maya.
我姐姐玛雅的情况并非如此。
My mom and her partner, Ellen, traveled to China to adopt Maya.
我妈妈和她的伴侣艾伦前往中国收养玛雅。
And they were part of this big group of adoptive parents who were all hanging around the hotel until the paperwork went through, which meant my step-mom, Ellen, had 35 direct comparisons every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
他们是这一大群养父母的一部分，他们都在酒店附近闲逛，直到文书工作完成，这意味着我的继母艾伦每天都会进行 35 次直接比较，包括早餐、午餐和晚餐。
There's a picture that was taken the day before we left that hotel.
有一张照片是我们离开那家酒店前一天拍的。
And all the babies are lined up on a couch, and Maya's in the middle, and Maya looks conspicuously different.
所有的婴儿都排在沙发上，玛雅在中间，玛雅看起来明显不同。
The other babies are smiling, or some of them are crying, but there's some kind of-- it's hard to articulate what it is about Maya that looks different.
其他婴儿在微笑，或者其中一些在哭泣，但有某种——很难说清楚玛雅看起来有何不同。
But she just seems like she's not there, like she's out of it.
但她就像不存在一样，就像她不存在一样。
Maya turned one while they were still in China.
当他们还在中国时，玛雅就满一岁了。
A lot of babies learn to walk around that age, around one year old.
很多婴儿在这个年龄（一岁左右）开始学习走路。
Maya couldn't sit up.
玛雅坐不起来。
She couldn't grasp things in her hands, and she would only eat out of a bottle.
她手里抓不住东西，只能从瓶子里吃东西。
But as soon as she got home, that changed really quickly.
但当她回到家后，情况很快就发生了变化。
Here's my mom, Sara.
这是我的妈妈，萨拉。
She learned to sit, and then she learned to eat.
她学会了坐，然后她学会了吃饭。
And she eventually learned to crawl, and she learned to walk, and she started to talk.
她最终学会了爬行，学会了走路，还开始说话。
And by three and 1/2, Maya was drawing, using scissors and my microphone.
到三又 1/2 时，玛雅正在用剪刀和我的麦克风画画。
Uh, uh, uh.
呃，呃，呃。
It's not working.
它不起作用。
Say something.
说些什么。
Hi, Maya.
嗨，玛雅。
How are you?
你好吗？
Maya I'm fine.
玛雅我很好。
I want to watch Mary Poppins.
我想看《欢乐满人间》。
By five years old, there was no question Maya had bonded with both of her moms.
毫无疑问，到了五岁时，玛雅就与她的两位妈妈建立了亲密的关系。
This is my mother, Ellen.
这是我的母亲，艾伦。
She's going to play Twinkle Twinkle on guitar while I sing along.
她会用吉他弹奏《一闪一闪亮晶晶》，而我则跟着唱。
Maya is 20 years younger than me, but when she was little I showed her off like a grandparent does.
玛雅比我小20岁，但当她还小的时候，我就像祖父母一样向她炫耀。
She was the MVP of my wedding, running around in her dress and her tool belt, sharing her encyclopedic knowledge of dinosaurs with all my friends.
她是我婚礼上的最有价值的人，穿着裙子和工具腰带跑来跑去，与我所有的朋友分享她百科全书式的恐龙知识。
She knew a lot about dinosaurs.
她对恐龙了解很多。
Maya could sit down with a guitar and freestyle lyrics about how the super continent Pangaea was separated in the time of the dinosaurs.
玛雅人可以坐下来，弹着吉他，听着即兴歌词，讲述恐龙时代超级大陆盘古大陆是如何分裂的。
(SINGING) Pangaea separated in the time of the dinosaurs.
（歌唱）盘古大陆在恐龙时代就分裂了。
And how one of the biggest meat eaters was Gigantonosaurus, who's tooth was as big as a banana.
巨龙是最大的肉食动物之一，它的牙齿有香蕉那么大。
(SINGING) --as a banana.
（唱歌）——像香蕉一样。
That is so big.
那太大了。
Mommy, you should be scared of it.
妈妈，你应该害怕它。
I should.
我应该。
Maya So you brought her in.
玛雅 所以你把她带进来了。
Gallant Fox, Omaha, War Admiral.
勇敢的福克斯，奥马哈，战争海军上将。
Around eight years old, the dinosaur obsession switched to horses, and it's been horses ever since then.
八岁左右，对恐龙的迷恋转向了马，从那时起就一直是马。
A lot of girls love horses-- Maya loves race horses.
很多女孩都喜欢马——玛雅喜欢赛马。
Maya is now 13, and she will walk right up to you with her pad of paper and just begin talking.
玛雅现在 13 岁了，她会拿着她的纸径直走向你并开始说话。
It's hard to tell if the obsession with horses is more intense or if it's the same as it was with dinosaurs.
很难说人们对马的痴迷是否更强烈，还是和对恐龙的痴迷一样。
Only now it strikes people as a weird instead of cute.
只是现在人们觉得它很奇怪而不是可爱。
It strikes people, as it may have struck you, that Maya has autism.
玛雅患有自闭症，这一点让人们感到震惊，就像你也可能感到震惊一样。
For technical reasons, Maya's never been diagnosed as on the autism spectrum, but she does exhibit almost all the characteristics, including sensitivity to touch, lack of eye contact, obsessive and intense interest in one topic, and difficulty with social emotional reciprocity, what many of us call conversation.
由于技术原因，玛雅从未被诊断为自闭症谱系障碍，但她确实表现出了几乎所有的特征，包括对触摸敏感、缺乏目光接触、对某一话题有强迫性和强烈的兴趣，以及社交情感互惠（我们许多人称之为对话）的困难。
Man o' War, [INAUDIBLE].
Man o' War，[听不清]。
Chana Joffe-Walt What is this that you're reading to me?
Chana Joffe-Walt 你读给我听的是什么？
Race horse names.
赛马名称。
Chana Joffe-Walt But just every race horse that you've ever heard of?
Chana Joffe-Walt 但只是您听说过的每匹赛马？
Well, the first page, Sir Barton to Affirmed, those 11 are the Triple Crown winners in the United States.
嗯，第一页，巴顿爵士确认，这11人是美国的三冠王。
Street Life to My Adonis, those are the horses--
街头生活对我的阿多尼斯来说，那些是马——
Maya can tell you every horse that's won the Triple Crown since 1919, their results, their injuries.
玛雅可以告诉您自 1919 年以来赢得三冠王的每一匹马、它们的成绩、它们的伤病。
She tracks the major awards, such as the Eclipse Award which is comprised of more than a dozen categories, which she will recite unprompted over a snack of Doritos.
她跟踪主要奖项，例如由十几个类别组成的 Eclipse 奖，她会一边吃多力多滋零食一边自发地背诵这些奖项。
Three-year-old male, three-year-old female, older male.
三岁男，三岁女，老年男。
And then there's the categories for people, which I don't find as interesting.
然后是人员的类别，我觉得这不太有趣。
You don't find the categories for people interesting?
您不觉得人们的类别有趣吗？
People have always been hard for Maya.
人们对玛雅一直很严厉。
In preschool, kindergarten, she never really made friends.
在学前班、幼儿园里，她从来没有真正交过朋友。
We figured she just wasn't interested.
我们认为她只是不感兴趣。
But as she got older, it became clear it was the other children who weren't interested in her.
但随着年龄的增长，她发现其他孩子对她不感兴趣。
First grade, second grade, third grade, the only time Maya ever got invited to someone's house was when the entire class was invited.
一年级、二年级、三年级，玛雅唯一一次被邀请去某人家，是全班同学都被邀请的时候。
In the meantime, Maya amassed a team of therapists who diagnosed her with reactive attachment disorder, RAD.
与此同时，玛雅组建了一个治疗师团队，诊断她患有反应性依恋障碍（RAD）。
Kids with RAD have often been neglected or abused as babies.
患有 RAD 的孩子在婴儿时期经常被忽视或虐待。
They don't emotionally attach to anyone early so they have attachment disorder, which in Maya's case was just one diagnosis to be followed by a series of others that all seemed to take her most obvious character trait and add the word "disorder" to it.
他们不会很早就在情感上依恋任何人，所以他们患有依恋障碍，在玛雅的例子中，这只是一个诊断，随后一系列其他诊断似乎都采用了她最明显的性格特征，并在其中添加了“障碍”一词。
And true to the label, Maya did not attach to other children, which was so painful to watch.
正如标签所示，玛雅并没有依恋其他孩子，这看起来很痛苦。
Because it wasn't that she didn't care, she just didn't know how to interact.
因为她不是不在乎，只是不知道如何去交往。
She didn't know how to have a back and forth.
她不知道该如何来回。
She would ask my mom or Ellen to invite someone over, and that someone would come over, and then they just wouldn't come back or return the invitation.
她会让我妈妈或艾伦邀请某人过来，然后有人过来，然后他们就不会回来或回复邀请。
Maya didn't get why her friends were always so busy.
玛雅不明白为什么她的朋友们总是那么忙。
Well, at school there were kids who would always be playing together as the same group, same people always playing together.
嗯，在学校里，有些孩子总是作为同一个群体一起玩耍，同样的人总是在一起玩耍。
And I was never really a part of those groups.
我从来都不是这些团体的真正成员。
I'm more by myself at recess.
课间休息时我更独自一人。
What do you do at recess?
课间休息时你做什么？
Maya Draw, play games that don't involve many people.
Maya Draw，玩不需要很多人参与的游戏。
In fourth grade, in a bout of utter boredom, Maya went and knocked on the neighbor's door.
四年级时，玛雅非常无聊，去敲了邻居的门。
She asked if their boys could play.
她问他们的孩子是否可以玩。
They were busy.
他们很忙。
And then Maya sat down on their porch and just started wailing, "No one will play with me."
然后玛雅坐在他们的门廊上，开始哭泣，“没有人会和我一起玩。”
And then things got really dark.
然后事情变得非常黑暗。
She stopped asking for play dates all together.
她不再一起要求一起玩耍。
She stopped reading.
她不再读书了。
She stopped smiling, and sleeping.
她停止了微笑，睡着了。
And she was on the edge all the time, especially at school.
她一直处于边缘，尤其是在学校。
A kid would take her pencil or brush up against her at the bus stop, and Maya would blow up.
一个孩子会拿走她的铅笔，或者在公交车站蹭到她，玛雅就会勃然大怒。
She had to be physically restrained.
她的身体必须受到约束。
She broke a window.
她打破了一扇窗户。
She was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder.
她被诊断出患有对立违抗性障碍。
She got hospitalized for a brief period.
她短暂住院。
Here's my step-mom, Ellen.
这是我的继母，艾伦。
How I felt so helpless.
我怎么感觉这么无助。
And I had no idea what to do.
我不知道该怎么办。
And none of this [BLEEP] is working.
而这些 [BLEEP] 都不起作用。
None of it's working.
这些都不起作用。
And I'm out of ideas.
我没有主意了。
Like, help.
喜欢，帮忙。
What are we going to do with this kid?
我们要对这个孩子做什么？
In our family, we talk about Maya's life in two sections, BC and AC.
在我们家里，我们分BC和AC两个部分来谈论玛雅的生活。
Everything I've just told you about, that's all BC, before Charlotte.
我刚才告诉你的一切，都是公元前，夏洛特之前的事。
What happened next is AC, after Charlotte.
接下来发生的是AC，夏洛特之后。
And this is Charlotte.
这是夏洛特。
Well, it was the first day of this camp, it was really hot, and we were just waiting for everyone to get there, and we were hanging out.
嗯，这是这个营地的第一天，天气真的很热，我们只是在等待大家到达那里，然后我们就出去玩了。
And it was a horse camp, so we were watching these guys throw hay down from a hay loft in the barn.
那是一个马营，所以我们看着这些人从谷仓的干草阁楼上扔干草。
And Maya goes, I did that one time at a place called Hay Down Farm.
玛雅说，我有一次在一个叫干草农场的地方这样做过。
And we thought that was hilarious for six months.
六个月来我们都认为这很搞笑。
Hay down.
干草下来。
Get it?
得到它？
You do get it?
你明白了吗？
Don't over think it.
别想太多了。
That is the entire joke.
这就是整个笑话。
Maya had found her audience.
玛雅找到了她的听众。
Her audience was Charlotte.
她的听众是夏洛特。
As a parent, you try to construct various environments for your kids so that when you have to cast them off on their own, hopefully the right thing will happen.
作为父母，你会尝试为你的孩子构建各种环境，这样当你不得不抛弃他们时，希望正确的事情会发生。
You baby-proof the cabinet so hopefully the baby won't eat poison.
你对柜子进行了婴儿防护，希望婴儿不会误食毒药。
You put the kid in a good school and hope she'll learn math.
你把孩子送进了一所好学校，并希望她能学习数学。
Ellen put Maya in horse camp, but by this point, by the time Maya was 11 years old, a friend was not even on Ellen's list of things to hope for.
艾伦把玛雅送进了马营，但到了玛雅11岁的时候，艾伦的愿望清单上甚至没有一个朋友了。
They'd given up on that.
他们已经放弃了。
She just wanted to see her kid smile once or twice a week.
她只想每周看到她的孩子一两次微笑。
But she dropped Maya off the second day of camp--
但她在营地的第二天就让玛雅离开了——
And I met Charlotte's mom there.
我在那里遇见了夏洛特的妈妈。
And I said, Maya seems to be kind of connecting with Charlotte.
我说，玛雅似乎与夏洛特有某种联系。
And she said, yeah.
她说，是的。
Charlotte really is feeling a connection with Maya too.
夏洛特也确实感受到了与玛雅的联系。
And in fact, she said, Mommy, Maya is perfect.
事实上，她说，妈妈，玛雅是完美的。
And my jaw practically hit the ground with a thud.
我的下巴几乎重重地撞在了地上。
I just kept saying it to myself in the car all the way home, Maya is perfect.
回家的路上我一直在车里对自己说，玛雅很完美。
Mommy, Maya is perfect.
妈妈，玛雅很完美。
I was like, this is not possible.
我当时想，这是不可能的。
But it is.
但确实如此。
Her mom said it.
她妈妈这么说。
It must have really happened.
这一定是真的发生过。
I asked Charlotte recently why Maya was perfect.
我最近问夏洛特为什么玛雅是完美的。
She told me it was pretty simple, actually.
她告诉我，其实这很简单。
Did you like her?
你喜欢她吗？
Charlotte Yeah.
夏洛特 是的。
It was pretty clear from the beginning that we had a lot of common interests.
从一开始就很明显我们有很多共同利益。
Perfect.
完美的。
Charlotte invited Maya over for a play date that Thursday, just like that.
夏洛特邀请玛雅在周四一起玩耍，就这样。
No big deal, just, hey, you want to come over?
没什么大不了的，只是，嘿，你想过来吗？
And she did.
她做到了。
Maya went over.
玛雅走了过去。
And it went fine.
一切都很顺利。
There was another play date, and then another, and another.
还有另一个玩耍约会，然后是另一个，然后是另一个。
And Charlotte and Maya would sit on the floor together with their model horses.
夏洛特和玛雅会和他们的模型马一起坐在地板上。
Mostly they did their own thing.
大多数时候他们都做自己的事情。
They weren't talking or laughing a lot, but we all thought, wow, this is working.
他们没怎么说话或笑，但我们都想，哇，这很有效。
Maya has a companion.
玛雅有一个同伴。
And then a couple months in, they invited Charlotte on an overnight to DC.
几个月后，他们邀请夏洛特去华盛顿过夜。
And afterwards they got a hotel, and Ellen could hear the kids in the other room telling jokes.
后来他们住了一家旅馆，艾伦可以听到另一个房间里的孩子们在讲笑话。
And they just cracked up, and Maya lost it, and she just started laughing, and laughing, and laughing.
他们就大笑起来，玛雅失去了理智，她开始大笑、大笑、大笑。
And Charlotte making fart jokes, and Maya just exploding in laughter.
夏洛特还开着放屁玩笑，玛雅则哈哈大笑。
And I was lying there in the other room thinking, this is a miracle.
我躺在另一个房间里想，这真是一个奇迹。
I can't believe this is happening.
我不敢相信这一切正在发生。
She's giggling and talking and whispering at a sleepover like a regular kid.
她在过夜时像个普通孩子一样咯咯地笑、说话、窃窃私语。
What would you have imagined Maya would do in that situation?
您认为玛雅在这种情况下会做什么？
I would have imagined her saying, hey, go to sleep.
我想象她会说，嘿，去睡觉吧。
It's night time.
现在是晚上。
The light is off.
灯灭了。
I am tired.
我累了。
But that night, Maya discovered what a sleepover could be.
但那天晚上，玛雅发现了过夜的感觉。
My mom had a moment like this too, where she realized that AC was a wildly different era than BC.
我妈妈也有过这样的时刻，她意识到AC是一个与BC截然不同的时代。
She was watching Maya with Charlotte, and at first she couldn't figure out what was going on with Maya.
她正在和夏洛特一起观察玛雅，一开始她不明白玛雅到底发生了什么事。
She looked weird.
她看起来很奇怪。
And then my mom realized, oh, that's happiness.
然后我妈妈意识到，哦，这就是幸福。
It's just hard to describe how thrilled she was.
很难形容她有多么激动。
I felt like Maya would jump out of her skin.
我感觉玛雅会从她的皮肤里跳出来。
AC is just that kind of engagement with somebody else, and engagement in the world.
AC 就是与他人的接触，以及与世界的接触。
I had hardly seen it in years at all.
我已经好几年没见过它了。
[LAUGHTER] Chana Joffe-Walt Maya just turned 13 a couple weeks ago.
[笑声] Chana Joffe-Walt Maya 几周前刚满 13 岁。
The only thing she wanted for her birthday was a sleepover with Charlotte.
她生日唯一想要的就是和夏洛特一起过夜。
So Charlotte came over and the two of them sat on the floor with their model horses for hours.
于是夏洛特过来了，两人和模型马坐在地板上几个小时。
Charlotte loves to play Hailey, a young rider who's whiny and thinks she knows everything.
夏洛特喜欢扮演海莉，一个爱发牢骚、自以为无所不知的年轻骑手。
Maya likes to play, well, Maya, someone who does know everything and can set Hailey in her place.
玛雅喜欢扮演，好吧，玛雅，一个无所不知并且可以让海莉取代她的人。
I've done everything after.
之后我已经做了所有事情。
Maya You haven't Have you raced in the Kentucky Derby?
玛雅 你还没有参加过肯塔基德比赛吗？
Probably.
大概。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I don't remember.
我不记得了。
I would've been really little.
我本来就很小。
I take that as a no. You have not raced in the Kentucky Derby, because really little people do not-- really young people do not race in the Kentucky Derby.
我认为这是不。你没有参加过肯塔基德比比赛，因为很少有人不参加——真正的年轻人不会参加肯塔基德比比赛。
How do you know I'm not 80-hundred years old and I'm just short because I'm a jockey?
你怎么知道我没有8000岁，只是因为我是骑师所以个子矮？
Oh my gosh.
天哪。
80-hundred years old.
8000岁了。
No one's lived to be that old.
没有人能活到那么老。
No. Charlotte Well then how do you know you're not going to live to 80-hundred years old?
不，夏洛特 那么你怎么知道你不会活到 8000 岁呢？
Year's old.
一岁了。
Because people just don't live that long.
因为人的寿命并没有那么长。
That right there, that is a genuine back and forth interaction.
就在那里，这是一种真正的来回互动。
Maya is not lecturing, she's not ignoring Charlotte.
玛雅并不是在说教，她也没有忽视夏洛特。
She's amused.
她很有趣。
She is feeling amusement.
她觉得好笑。
And she's responding directly to what Charlotte is saying.
她直接回应夏洛特的话。
Maya and Charlotte have been friends for almost two years now.
玛雅和夏洛特已经成为朋友近两年了。
We'll be two years into AC this summer.
今年夏天我们进入 AC 已经两年了。
And here are the basic facts of AC.
以下是 AC 的基本事实。
Maya no longer regularly gets in trouble at school.
玛雅不再经常在学校惹麻烦。
She now does her homework and washes her hair without a struggle.
现在，她可以毫不费力地做作业、洗头发。
She has not had one violent incident AC.
她没有发生过一起暴力事件。
She makes eye contact sometimes.
她有时会进行眼神交流。
She asks, how are you, sometimes.
有时她会问，你好吗？
She does chores.
她做家务。
That felt impossible BC.
这在公元前感觉是不可能的。
All of it seemed impossible BC.
这一切在公元前似乎都是不可能的。
The other day I went to pick up Maya from school, and her bus driver got out of the bus to introduce himself to me and tell me, Maya, she's really worked on herself this year.
有一天，我去学校接玛雅，她的公交车司机下车向我做自我介绍，并告诉我，玛雅，她今年真的很努力。
She's doing great.
她做得很好。
Her horseback riding instructor pulled my mom aside the other day to say, Maya has been making eye contact with me.
有一天，她的骑马教练把我妈妈拉到一边说，玛雅一直在和我进行眼神交流。
I've never seen that before.
我以前从未见过这样的情况。
It feels like when people see a really beautiful piece of art and they can't wait to talk to someone about it.
感觉就像当人们看到一件非常美丽的艺术品时，他们迫不及待地想与某人谈论它。
Just to say, did you see that?
只想说，你看到了吗？
Awesome, right?
太棒了，对吧？
And Charlotte, I can't imagine a kid better suited to being Maya's friend than Charlotte.
还有夏洛特，我无法想象还有哪个孩子比夏洛特更适合成为玛雅的朋友。
Just listen to the way she talks, and try to remember, this kid is 13 years old.
听她说话的方式，试着记住，这个孩子已经13岁了。
How would you describe Maya?
您会如何描述玛雅？
Charlotte She's extremely obsessed with race horses.
夏洛特 她非常迷恋赛马。
Well, I've learned a lot of new stuff from her actually, because half the time it's all she'll talk about.
嗯，实际上我从她那里学到了很多新东西，因为有一半的时间她都会谈论这些。
But it's been really interesting because it's a whole new part of the horse world that I wasn't really familiar with until I met her.
但这真的很有趣，因为这是马世界的一个全新部分，在遇到她之前我并不真正熟悉。
You know, all the Triple Crown winners in order.
你知道，所有三冠王得主都按顺序排列。
She's really smart.
她真的很聪明。
But sometimes she's a bit lacking in social graces.
但有时她有点缺乏社交礼仪。
Just a little bit.
只是一点点。
Sometimes it makes her really funny.
有时这让她真的很有趣。
Charlotte's noticed that if she talks about something she's interested in that's not horses, like Star Trek, or Harry Potter, it used to be that Maya just wouldn't respond.
夏洛特注意到，如果她谈论一些她感兴趣的而不是马的东西，比如《星际迷航》或《哈利·波特》，以前玛雅就不会回应。
She didn't know what to say.
她不知道该说什么。
But lately, Charlotte says, Maya tries to be interested in whatever she's talking about.
但最近，夏洛特说，玛雅试图对她所说的一切感兴趣。
And sometimes she'll even respond to it by connecting it to horses, which I think is a neat thing to be able to do.
有时她甚至会通过将其连接到马来对此做出反应，我认为这是一件很巧妙的事情。
I just think it's really cool when people connect everyday things to things that are really their passion.
我只是认为，当人们将日常事物与他们真正感兴趣的事物联系起来时，这真的很酷。
Yeah.
是的。
That's really smart.
这真的很聪明。
Charlotte It can be a great way to interact with the world.
夏洛特 这可能是与世界互动的好方法。
When I ask her how she deals with it when Maya has tantrums, Charlotte says, sometimes I wait it out, or sometimes integrating humor can be helpful.
当我问她当玛雅发脾气时她如何处理时，夏洛特说，有时我会等待，或者有时融入幽默会有所帮助。
See what I mean?
明白我的意思吗？
That's a special kid.
那是一个特别的孩子。
And Maya can see that.
玛雅人可以看到这一点。
This is a really important friendship.
这是一段非常重要的友谊。
And I've been learning how to be a better friend in order to keep the friendship.
我一直在学习如何成为一个更好的朋友以保持友谊。
Like what kinds of things are you learning?
比如你正在学习什么类型的东西？
Be more flexible.
更加灵活。
Not just talk about what you want to talk about all the time.
不只是一直谈论你想谈论的事情。
Do other stuff that your friend wants.
做你朋友想做的其他事情。
The morning after Maya's birthday sleepover, I found her sitting outside the bedroom door at 6:00 in the morning waiting for Charlotte to wake up.
玛雅生日过夜后的第二天早上，我发现她早上 6:00 坐在卧室门外等待夏洛特醒来。
She wasn't allowed to wake her up until 8:00, so Maya was just sitting there.
直到 8:00 才被允许叫醒她，所以玛雅就坐在那里。
I don't think I'd completely gotten this until I saw Maya waiting-- Maya loves Charlotte.
直到我看到玛雅在等待，我才完全明白这一点——玛雅爱夏洛特。
She loves her.
她爱她。
She feels the feelings that come when you're a girl and you have a friend who makes you laugh, and thinks about you when you're apart, and gets you.
她感受到了当你还是个女孩的时候，你有一个让你开怀大笑的朋友，在你们分开时想起你，并理解你的感觉。
It's not a romantic love, but if you've had this, you know it feels just as important.
这不是浪漫的爱情，但如果你有过这样的经历，你就会知道它的感觉同样重要。
Maya is getting to experience the joy of being 13 and having a best friend.
玛雅 (Maya) 开始体验 13 岁的快乐，并拥有一个最好的朋友。
And that is why she's willing to work so hard.
这就是为什么她愿意如此努力工作。
It's why she's trying to learn how to read facial expressions, and social cues, to control waves of anger and frustration, to sit still when all you want is to wake someone up.
这就是为什么她试图学习如何解读面部表情和社交暗示，控制愤怒和沮丧的浪潮，当你只想叫醒别人时安静地坐着。
You have to really want something to work that hard for it.
你必须真正想要某样东西，并为此付出努力。
Charlotte's going to high school next year and she's just growing up faster than Maya is.
夏洛特明年就要上高中了，她的成长速度比玛雅快。
She could move on, maybe soon, something we talk about all the time and try not to think about.
她可以继续前进，也许很快，我们一直在谈论的事情，并尽量不去想。
We know BC, and we know AC, but we don't know what comes after.
我们知道BC，也知道AC，但我们不知道之后会发生什么。
Maya needed the friendship to learn how to be a friend, but maybe, hopefully, now she knows.
玛雅需要友谊来学习如何成为朋友，但也许，希望她现在知道了。
And with or without Charlotte, she'll be OK.
不管有没有夏洛特，她都会没事的。
Chana Joffe-Walt is one of the producers of our show.
查纳·乔夫·沃尔特 (Chana Joffe-Walt) 是我们节目的制片人之一。
Our program was produced today by Robyn Semien, with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sean Cole, Stephanie Foo, Chana Joffe-Walt, Sarah Koenig, Miki Meek, Jonathan Menjivar, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Robyn Semien 制作，与 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Sean Cole、Stephanie Foo、Chana Joffe-Walt、Sarah Koenig、Miki Meek、Jonathan Menjivar、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 一起制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Alison Davis.
艾莉森·戴维斯提供制作帮助。
Seth Lind is our operations director.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的运营总监。
Emily Condon is our production manager.
艾米丽·康登 (Emily Condon) 是我们的生产经理。
Elise Bergerson is our administrative assistant Adrianne Mathiowetz runs our website.
Elise Bergerson 是我们的行政助理 Adrianne Mathiowetz 负责运营我们的网站。
Research help from Julie Beer and Michelle Harris.
朱莉·比尔和米歇尔·哈里斯的研究帮助。
Music help from Damien Graef and Rob Geddis.
Damien Graef 和 Rob Geddis 提供音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
[致谢] 我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
Thanks as always to our program's co-founder Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know he always reminds me, when our program is on the air, he sits at the radio station's master control console, his finger poised above the controls, and at any moment, any moment at all I do anything he doesn't like.
你知道他总是提醒我，当我们的节目播出时，他坐在广播电台的主控制台前，手指悬在控制器上方，随时我都会做他不喜欢的任何事情。
Ba-dupe, press this little button, and then that's it.
Ba-dupe，按下这个小按钮，然后就可以了。
Game over.
游戏结束。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。