518: Except For That One Thing - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #518 | February 20, 2015 518: Except For That One Thing Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 518 集 | 2015 年 2 月 20 日 518：除了那一件事 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass When Mike and Sara bought their house, they were in their 30s-- been renters all their lives.
序言 Ira Glass 当迈克和莎拉买下他们的房子时，他们已经 30 多岁了——一生都是租房者。
Not married, no kids yet, but heading there.
还没结婚，还没有孩子，但正要去那里。
We had saved some money for a down payment, and we used all of that.
我们存了一些钱作为首付，我们把这些钱都用了。
So we had no money to furnish the house with.
所以我们没有钱装修房子。
And we were two people who had been living like grad students, basically.
我们两个人基本上都像研究生一样生活。
So yeah, we moved in our futon, and we moved in our--
所以是的，我们搬进了我们的蒲团，我们搬进了我们的——
They had a little table that they got from Mike's dad's garage.
他们有一张从迈克父亲的车库里买来的小桌子。
Their chairs were these plastic stacking deck chairs-- the ones from Kmart.
他们的椅子是塑料折叠躺椅——凯马特的。
They had two desks.
他们有两张桌子。
And that was about it.
就是这样。
So most of the house was empty.
所以房子的大部分都是空的。
Most of the rooms had nothing in them.
大多数房间里什么都没有。
And so on the weekends, they would go looking for furniture.
所以在周末，他们会去寻找家具。
At first, they tried yard sales.
起初，他们尝试庭院出售。
And then they learned about estate sales, barn sales.
然后他们了解了房地产销售、谷仓销售。
They live in Maine.
他们住在缅因州。
The thing that they wanted more than anything was to get a dining room table.
他们最想要的就是得到一张餐桌。
If they had a dining room table, they could have friends over for dinner, and they really wanted that.
如果他们有一张餐桌，他们就可以邀请朋友过来吃晚饭，他们真的很想要这样。
But the problem was they never had enough money to win at these barn auctions.
但问题是他们从来没有足够的钱来赢得这些谷仓拍卖。
Somebody would always outbid them.
总会有人出价高于他们。
And Mike says he was seeing a side of Sara he had never seen before.
迈克说他看到了萨拉以前从未见过的一面。
She turned into an absolute different person at these barn auctions.
在这些谷仓拍卖会上，她变成了一个完全不同的人。
They would hand her a paddle, and she would have to win, which is not good when you don't have any money.
他们会给她一把球拍，她必须获胜，当你没有钱时，这并不好。
Yeah.
是的。
You give me a paddle, and I'm not going to sit there with it on my lap the whole time.
你给我一个桨，我不会一直把它放在腿上坐在那里。
And so then I would get a little wound up.
所以我会有点生气。
After this one time when she spent hundreds of dollars that they did not have on something that looked from the back of the room where they were sitting like it was kind of a table but did not actually turn out to be a table, the two of them decided, OK, no more barn auctions.
有一次，她花了数百美元买了一些他们没有的东西，从他们坐在房间后面的地方看起来像是一张桌子，但实际上并不是一张桌子，他们两个决定，好吧，不再进行谷仓拍卖了。
But Sara was not done.
但萨拉还没有完成。
Well, then I discovered this little thing called eBay.
好吧，然后我发现了这个叫 eBay 的小东西。
And this is like 1998, 1999.
这就像1998年、1999年。
EBay is really new.
eBay 确实很新。
They had just gone public.
他们刚刚上市。
People like Sara are calling on dial-up modems.
像萨拉这样的人正在使用拨号调制解调器进行呼叫。
And Sara said that the first thing that she did when she got onto eBay was enter "dining room table" into the search box.
萨拉说，她进入 eBay 后做的第一件事就是在搜索框中输入“餐桌”。
And then I was amazed because suddenly there were all these pictures of tables, and you can just get them.
然后我很惊讶，因为突然出现了所有这些桌子的图片，而且你可以直接得到它们。
Today it seems kind of old hat, but back then it really was exciting.
今天看来这有点老套了，但在当时确实很令人兴奋。
So at first, bidding on eBay was a lot like the barn auctions.
所以一开始，eBay 上的竞价很像谷仓拍卖。
Sara would bid on some piece of furniture and then ultimately did not have enough money to win.
萨拉曾竞标某件家具，但最终没有足够的钱赢得胜利。
But she says that she was able to get a nice side table for $20.
但她说她花 20 美元就能买到一张漂亮的边桌。
That gave her hope.
这给了她希望。
And then one day--
然后有一天——
The listing was "round walnut table and two chairs." And I clicked on it, and the starting bid was like $10, but then the shipping was really low.
清单是“圆胡桃木桌子和两把椅子”。我点击了它，起拍价格是 10 美元，但运费非常低。
I remember seeing a picture of it.
我记得看过一张它的照片。
It was kind of fancier than something we might normally go for, and the chairs looked great.
这比我们通常想要的东西更奇特，而且椅子看起来很棒。
It looked like what grown-up people would put in their house.
它看起来就像成年人会放在家里的东西。
Like, if we can put that table in here, that's it, that's the beginning.
就像，如果我们可以把桌子放在这里，就这样，这就是开始。
You could kind of see your kids sitting around that table someday.
有一天你可能会看到你的孩子坐在那张桌子旁。
So there's a brief bidding war, and Sara wins the table.
于是，发生了一场短暂的竞购战，萨拉赢得了桌子。
She remembers it costing $20, Mike remembers it as $40.
她记得它花了 20 美元，迈克记得它是 40 美元。
But the moment she won, that she's totally clear on.
但当她获胜的那一刻，她就完全清楚了。
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吧？
On that front, I was elated.
在这方面，我很高兴。
That felt great.
那感觉棒极了。
It just felt like, wow, I could furnish our whole house for $400.
感觉就像，哇，我可以花 400 美元装饰我们的整个房子。
I felt like suddenly, oh, we've been looking in the wrong places.
我突然觉得，哦，我们找错地方了。
We'd been going to these barn auctions, but people already know about that.
我们去过这些谷仓拍卖会，但人们已经知道了。
But nobody knows about eBay yet.
但还没有人知道 eBay。
So yeah, I was really fired up about it.
是的，我对此感到非常兴奋。
So a couple days pass.
就这样，几天过去了。
And one day Sara goes out to the mailbox, and there's a package.
有一天，莎拉走到邮箱前，发现了一个包裹。
It's a box, like, half the size of a toaster.
这是一个盒子，大约有烤面包机一半大小。
I was sort of like, oh, what's this?
我当时就想，哦，这是什么？
I brought it inside, and I came into the kitchen, and I opened up the box.
我把它带进去，走进厨房，打开盒子。
And there was my walnut table and two chairs.
还有我的胡桃木桌子和两把椅子。
And it was just as beautiful as it had been in the picture, but it was about 2 and 1/2 inches high.
它和图片中一样美丽，但它大约有 2又 1/2 英寸高。
But it had the little velvet cushions, and it had a crocheted top on it.
但它有小天鹅绒垫子，上面有钩针编织的上衣。
And it was from some guy in Maryland who makes doll furniture.
这是来自马里兰州一个制作娃娃家具的人。
And I sat and I stared at it, dumbfounded for so long, trying to decide how I felt.
我坐下来盯着它，目瞪口呆了很长时间，试图确定我的感受。
That was the first thing when I was staring at the doll table.
这是我盯着玩偶桌时的第一件事。
It was one of those do I laugh or do I cry moments.
这是我笑或哭的时刻之一。
And then I do remember getting back on eBay and realizing that when you put in a general search term, there are still categories.
然后我确实记得回到 eBay 并意识到当你输入一般搜索词时，仍然有类别。
Because I went and found the listing, and it was under doll furniture.
因为我去找到了清单，它在娃娃家具下面。
Next, she showed it to Mike.
接下来，她把它拿给迈克看。
And Mike says that when she showed him the toy table, at first he couldn't even understand what it was that he was looking at.
迈克说，当她向他展示玩具桌时，起初他甚至不明白自己在看什么。
His brain could not process the information-- like, what is this?
他的大脑无法处理这些信息——比如，这是什么？
But then we were like, OK.
但后来我们就想，好吧。
That's fine.
没关系。
So we set it up in the dining room.
所以我们把它放在餐厅里。
So we had this big empty house and this tiny doll table with doll chairs set up in the dining room.
所以我们有一个空荡荡的大房子，在餐厅里摆了一张小娃娃桌和娃娃椅。
And our friends started buying us little doll dishes and glasses.
我们的朋友开始给我们买小娃娃盘子和眼镜。
So it was a perfect transaction except for that one thing.
所以除了那件事之外，这是一笔完美的交易。
I do remember wanting Mike to see what a beautiful table it was, even if it was the wrong size.
我确实记得想让迈克看看那是一张多么漂亮的桌子，即使它的尺寸不对。
Like, that did matter.
就像，这确实很重要。
It was a nice table.
这是一张漂亮的桌子。
And I remember when our friends came over and they would all mock me, it really was important to me that they saw-- I mean, it was a beautiful-- the guy who made it is an artist.
我记得当我们的朋友过来时，他们都会嘲笑我，这对我来说真的很重要，他们看到——我的意思是，它很漂亮——制作它的人是一位艺术家。
I'm going to give him that.
我要把那个给他。
And it was walnut, and it was hand-carved, and it had a nice little rim around it.
它是胡桃木的，是手工雕刻的，周围有一个漂亮的小边缘。
And it was a miniature version of exactly what I wanted.
这正是我想要的缩小版。
Well, today on our radio program, "Except For That One Thing," we have stories today where everything is just like you would dream, just like you would wish for, except for one pesky detail, one flaw.
好吧，今天在我们的广播节目“除了那一件事”中，我们今天有一些故事，一切都像你梦想的那样，就像你希望的那样，除了一个讨厌的细节，一个缺陷。
And the people involved, they have to decide if they can live with that flaw, that one problem in how things worked out, or if they cannot live with it.
相关人员必须决定他们是否可以忍受这个缺陷，即事情如何发展的一个问题，或者他们是否不能忍受它。
That's what growing up is about, right?
这就是成长的意义吧？
Living with things not being absolutely perfect.
与不绝对完美的事物一起生活。
Am I just talking for myself here?
我在这里只是为自己说话吗？
I hope not.
我希望不会。
OK.
好的。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act 1, Run On Sentence.
第一幕，运行句子。
So lots of us have things about ourselves that we keep to ourselves that we assume people would see us differently if they knew about.
我们中的很多人都有一些关于自己的事情，我们都保守着自己，我们认为如果人们知道的话，他们会对我们有不同的看法。
And Mike Anderson had something like that, one thing about him in particular that he kept a secret, until one day it came out.
迈克·安德森也有类似的特质，尤其是他保守秘密的一件事，直到有一天它被曝光。
Jessica Lussenhop explains.
杰西卡·卢森霍普解释道。
Mike Anderson was 36 years old, married, a suburban father of four.
迈克·安德森 (Mike Anderson) 36 岁，已婚，住在郊区，是四个孩子的父亲。
He owned a contracting business and built his family's modest, three-bedroom house in St. Louis from the ground up.
他拥有一家承包公司，并在圣路易斯从头开始建造了家人朴素的三居室房子。
He volunteered at church on the weekends and coached his son's football team.
他周末在教堂做志愿者并担任儿子足球队的教练。
That changed last July.
去年七月情况发生了变化。
He was at home alone with his two-year-old daughter while his wife was away on a business trip.
他独自一人在家带两岁的女儿，而他的妻子却出差了。
I was sleeping.
我那时在睡觉。
I was awoken.
我被吵醒了。
It was about 6 o'clock in the morning, woken by knocking at the door.
早上六点左右，是被敲门声吵醒的。
And it was unusual knocking.
而且敲门声很不寻常。
It was the consistent knocking, the hard knocking.
这是持续不断的敲击声，很重的敲击声。
So I knew something was going on.
所以我知道发生了什么事。
So I just stood at the top of the stairs for a moment.
所以我就在楼梯顶上站了一会儿。
And finally I said, who is it?
最后我说，这是谁？
I'm in my boxers.
我穿着平角内裤。
And they said, marshals.
他们说，元帅们。
Open it up, or it's coming down.
打开它，否则它会掉下来。
Open up the door.
打开门。
As soon as I opened up the door, it was a small army.
一打开门，是一支小军队。
I mean, it was about eight of them.
我的意思是，大约有八个人。
They had the shields.
他们有盾牌。
They had the helmets.
他们有头盔。
They had the AR-15 style machine looking guns.
他们拥有 AR-15 型机枪。
And they had the street blocked off.
他们封锁了街道。
And I said, hey, man, you got the wrong person.
我说，嘿，伙计，你找错人了。
And he just looked at me.
他只是看着我。
He said, no, you're the right person.
他说，不，你是对的人。
The officer handcuffed him and asked, do you remember 13 years ago?
恶警给他戴上手铐，问你还记得13年前的事吗？
I broke out in a sweat.
我出了一身冷汗。
They had to sit me down.
他们不得不让我坐下。
And the only thing I could think about, what's my wife going to say?
我唯一能想到的就是我的妻子会说什么？
What's she going to think?
她会怎么想？
I called her.
我打电话给她。
And as soon as I called her, she was crying, what's going on?
我一给她打电话，她就哭了，这是怎么回事？
And I told her what was going on.
我告诉她发生了什么事。
I said, baby, this is from 13 years ago.
我说，宝贝，这是13年前的事了。
I'm freaking out-- I mean, screaming, crying.
我吓坏了——我是说，尖叫、哭泣。
This is Mike's wife, LaQonna.
这是迈克的妻子拉科娜。
They've been married for six years.
他们结婚六年了。
I can hear the marshals in the background telling him he has to go.
我能听到背景中的法警告诉他他必须离开。
So he told me he loved me, and that was it.
所以他告诉我他爱我，仅此而已。
And when you heard "something from 13 years ago," did you understand what that meant at all?
当你听到“13年前的事情”时，你明白这意味着什么吗？
Or what were you thinking?
或者你在想什么？
I didn't understand what it meant until the next day, when we had a talk with the attorney.
直到第二天我们与律师交谈时我才明白这意味着什么。
Then I just passed out.
然后我就昏过去了。
Hit my head on the concrete.
我的头撞到了混凝土上。
Here's what LaQonna learned.
这是拉科纳了解到的。
In 1999, Mike was arrested for armed robbery but never served his time because of what amounted to a clerical error.
1999 年，迈克因持械抢劫被捕，但由于相当于文书错误而从未服刑。
He was 22 years old when he and a friend held up a Burger King manager making a night deposit at a bank.
当他 22 岁的时候，他和一个朋友拦住了汉堡王经理在银行进行夜间存款的行为。
This wasn't a case of mistaken identity or wrongful conviction.
这不是一个身份错误或错误定罪的案件。
Mike was there.
迈克在那里。
Although his attorney instructed him not to discuss the details of the crime with me, Mike says he got caught up with the wrong crowd that night.
尽管他的律师指示他不要与我讨论犯罪细节，但迈克说那天晚上他遇到了错误的人群。
Until then, he had no prior convictions and worked a full time job at AT&T.
在此之前，他没有任何前科，并在 AT&T 从事全职工作。
In court, Mike testified that the robbery wasn't his idea and that the gun his friend was holding was just a BB gun.
迈克在法庭上作证说，抢劫不是他的主意，他朋友拿着的枪只是一把BB枪。
The police never actually recovered any weapons, but Mike was convicted of armed criminal action and robbery.
警方从未真正找到任何武器，但迈克被判犯有武装犯罪行为和抢劫罪。
The judge sentenced him to 13 years in prison.
法官判处他13年有期徒刑。
Mike filed a series of appeals, but in the end, the courts decided, nope.
迈克提出了一系列上诉，但最终法院判决不予执行。
He had to serve his sentence.
他必须服刑。
At the time, Mike was out on bail.
当时，迈克已获得保释。
And here, something strange happened.
而这里，发生了一些奇怪的事情。
At this point, Mike's bail should've been revoked, and he should have been arrested and taken to prison.
此时，迈克的保释应该被撤销，他应该被逮捕并入狱。
But a warrant was never issued for that.
但从未为此发出逮捕令。
Mike's attorney and the prosecutor appeared before a judge.
迈克的律师和检察官出现在法官面前。
Mike wasn't actually there himself.
迈克本人实际上并不在那里。
From what I understand, the judge asked, where is Mr. Anderson?
据我了解，法官问道，安德森先生在哪里？
My attorney handed her the briefs and told her Mr. Anderson is currently out on bond.
我的律师把案情陈述交给了她，并告诉她安德森先生目前正在保释中。
But the prosecuting attorney at that time hopped up and said, no, he's not out on bond.
但当时的检察官跳起来说，不，他没有保释。
I checked, my office checked, he's currently in prison.
我查过，我的办公室也查过，他目前在监狱里。
And so that was it.
就是这样。
It was the prosecutor who told the judge that Mike was in custody, even though he wasn't, he was at home.
检察官告诉法官迈克已被拘留，尽管他没有被拘留，但他在家。
Mike's attorney didn't say anything because he hadn't actually talked to Mike in a few days, and he thought maybe he really was back in prison-- until he talked to Mike on the phone.
迈克的律师没有说什么，因为他已经有几天没有真正与迈克交谈了，他想也许他真的回到了监狱——直到他通过电话与迈克交谈。
He was shocked.
他很震惊。
He said, you aren't in jail?
他说，你没坐牢吧？
I said, no, I'm not.
我说，不，我不是。
And so I was like, what are we supposed to do?
所以我想，我们应该做什么？
Am I supposed to turn myself in?
我应该自首吗？
And it was just like, well, at this time, it's a mistake.
就好像，好吧，在这个时候，这是一个错误。
They'll figure out their mistake.
他们会发现自己的错误。
He says, temporary-- expect to be picked up.
他说，暂时的——预计会被接走。
They're going to pick you up.
他们会来接你。
It wasn't unusual for it to take a couple of weeks for a warrant to get issued, but months then years passed.
逮捕令签发需要几周的时间并不罕见，但几个月、几年过去了。
No one ever came and picked up Mike.
没有人来接迈克。
Mike says he never really considered turning himself in.
迈克说他从未真正考虑过自首。
He figured they'd either come for him or they wouldn't.
他认为他们要么会来找他，要么不会。
And if they didn't, OK.
如果他们不这样做，也没关系。
That was God's plan for him.
这就是神对他的计划。
His lawyer was vague about what he should do next.
他的律师对他下一步应该做什么含糊其辞。
He left it up to Mike.
他把这件事留给了迈克。
But after the arrest, the trial, the months he spent in prison before bonding out, Mike decided to turn his life around.
但在被捕、审判以及出狱前的几个月后，迈克决定改变自己的生活。
He went back to school and became a master carpenter.
他回到学校，成为一名木匠大师。
He got married and became a family man who checked homework and got his kids ready for bed every night.
他结婚了，成了一个顾家的男人，每天晚上都会检查家庭作业并哄孩子们准备睡觉。
Mike never had another run-in with the law.
迈克再也没有触犯过法律。
Did you feel like a fugitive during that time?
那段时间你有没有感觉自己像个逃犯？
No. I never felt like a fugitive.
不，我从来不觉得自己是个逃犯。
Because a fugitive is someone that's running from the law.
因为逃犯是逃避法律的人。
I never ran from the law.
我从来没有逃避过法律。
I was there.
我在那里。
I registered my business through the state with a Social Security number, address, everything.
我通过州政府注册了我的企业，并提供了社会安全号码、地址等一切信息。
I'm four streets over from the address that they had on file.
我距离他们备案的地址有四条街。
I built a house over there.
我在那里建了一座房子。
So there was never any running or strategy of, hey, I don't want to go here because there's going to be authorities.
所以从来没有任何跑步或策略，嘿，我不想去这里，因为会有当局。
No, I lived a normal life.
不，我过着正常的生活。
Did you feel relaxed right away?
是不是立刻就感觉轻松了呢？
What was it like to sort of acclimate to this feeling that you're out and you may get to stay out?
适应这种你出去了并且你可能会留在外面的感觉是什么感觉？
It was 13 years of somewhat relief.
这是13年的轻松时光。
But was it always in the back of my mind?
但它一直在我的脑海里吗？
Of course it was always in the back of my mind.
当然，它一直在我的脑海里。
Is that day coming any day now?
那一天随时会到来吗？
So like, you get pulled over for a traffic ticket.
就像，你因为交通罚单而被拦下来。
You run a red light, run a stop sign, or you didn't come into a complete stop.
你闯红灯、闯停车标志，或者没有完全停车。
And they're running your information, and your heart's beating fast, like, man, are they going to know?
他们正在运行你的信息，你的心跳得很快，就像，伙计，他们会知道吗？
And they come back, hey, Mr. Anderson.
他们回来了，嘿，安德森先生。
Hey, get your taillight fixed.
嘿，把你的尾灯修好。
Get your tags renewed.
更新您的标签。
And that was it.
就是这样。
And I was just like, wow.
我当时就想，哇。
What's going on?
这是怎么回事？
In the end, the only reason that the Missouri Department of Corrections realized Mike was missing was because they were preparing to release him from prison.
最终，密苏里州惩教署意识到迈克失踪的唯一原因是他们准备将他从监狱释放。
I called the Department of Corrections, the county's warrant officers, the original court where this happened, Missouri's Attorney General, and the state supreme court, and no one would say anything about how there was a record claiming that Mike was one of their inmates when he was, in fact, free.
我给惩教署、该县的准尉、事件发生的原审法院、密苏里州总检察长和州最高法院打了电话，没有人愿意透露如何有记录声称迈克是他们的囚犯之一，而事实上他是自由的。
Meanwhile, Mike and his wife still have not had a frank conversation about all this either.
与此同时，迈克和他的妻子也还没有就这一切进行坦诚的交谈。
They haven't discussed the fact that Mike knew all those years that he might someday go back to prison but never told her.
他们没有讨论这样一个事实：迈克多年来都知道他有一天可能会回到监狱，但从未告诉过她。
Do you feel any sense of anger or wish that he had told you this earlier on?
你是否感到愤怒或希望他早点告诉你这些？
I mean, that question arose in my head, just like, why he didn't tell me.
我的意思是，这个问题出现在我的脑海中，就像，为什么他不告诉我。
I can't get mad at him because I understand why he hid it from me.
我不能生他的气，因为我明白他为什么向我隐瞒。
He just wanted to protect me.
他只是想保护我。
So he didn't want to put too much on me that I couldn't handle.
所以他不想让我承受太多我无法承受的负担。
And that's just the type of person Mike is, too.
迈克也是这样的人。
He'll try to juggle everything by himself.
他会尝试独自处理所有事情。
It feels a little strange that you guys haven't had that conversation.
你们没有进行过这样的谈话，感觉有点奇怪。
It's uncomfortable for me because I'm always embarrassed about it.
这对我来说很不舒服，因为我总是为此感到尴尬。
That's not who I am now.
那不是我现在的样子。
It's not who I'll ever be.
这不是我将成为的人。
I just want to forget.
我只是想忘记。
When I first visited Mike in November, he had to stay in his cell for about 22 hours a day in a huge penitentiary called Fulton Reception and Diagnostic, a gray building planted in the middle of farmland about two hours west of St. Louis.
当我去年 11 月第一次拜访迈克时，他每天必须在一个名为“富尔顿接待和诊断”的巨大监狱的牢房里呆大约 22 个小时，这是一栋灰色建筑，位于圣路易斯以西约两小时车程的农田中央。
Usually clean cut, Mike had several months worth of beard on his chin.
迈克的胡子一向干净整洁，但他的下巴上留着几个月的胡须。
August, the kids went to school, their first day of school.
八月，孩子们上学了，这是他们上学的第一天。
Missed that.
错过了。
September, missed me and my wife's anniversary on the 26th.
九月，错过了26号我和我妻子的周年纪念日。
November, my son turned seven on the 5th, and my daughter turned 11 on the 10th.
11月，五号儿子七岁，十号女儿十一岁。
I missed a lot-- missed a lot.
我错过了很多——错过了很多。
13 years without going to prison did exactly what you'd hope 13 years in prison will do for a person.
13 年没有入狱的经历正是你所希望的 13 年监禁对一个人的影响。
Mike reformed, became a model citizen.
迈克改过自新，成为了模范公民。
Which raises the question, do we want to send him to prison?
这就提出了一个问题，我们想把他送进监狱吗？
It'll cost the state of Missouri about $20,000 a year to house and feed him.
密苏里州每年要花费大约 2 万美元来安置和喂养他。
And if Mike's no longer a danger to society, what's the point of having him sit in a cell when he could be out working, paying taxes, and raising his kids?
如果迈克不再对社会构成威胁，那么当他可以外出工作、纳税和抚养孩子时，让他坐在牢房里还有什么意义呢？
Tim Lohmar is the prosecuting attorney in St. Charles County, where Mike was sentenced-- although he's not the one who jumped up in court and said Mike was in prison.
蒂姆·洛马尔（Tim Lohmar）是圣查尔斯县的检察官，迈克在那里被判刑，尽管他并不是那个在法庭上跳起来说迈克在监狱里的人。
That prosecutor has passed away.
那个检察官已经去世了。
It still baffles me how this could have happened.
我仍然困惑这怎么会发生。
But I think the state's interests are that this sentence has to be served.
但我认为国家的利益是必须执行这句话。
So he's had this life.
于是他就过上了这样的生活。
He's had children, started a small business.
他有了孩子，开始做小生意。
hasn't had any run-ins with the law.
没有触犯法律。
Some people would say that he's been rehabilitated.
有人会说，他已经康复了。
He shouldn't have to serve the sentence because it took so long.
他不应该服刑，因为花了这么长时间。
Well, I can't say that that's not a reasonable thing for those people to think, especially his family, people who are close to him.
嗯，我不能说这对那些人来说不是一个合理的想法，尤其是他的家人，与他关系密切的人。
Anybody who doesn't have sympathy for Mr. Anderson I think is not being genuine.
我认为任何对安德森先生没有同情心的人都是不真诚的。
It's a horrible tragedy for he and his family.
对于他和他的家人来说，这是一场可怕的悲剧。
So whether that spurs somebody at a higher pay grade than me to figure out a better way to do this, I don't know.
因此，我不知道这是否会促使薪水比我高的人找到更好的方法来做到这一点。
You open Pandora's box.
你打开了潘多拉魔盒。
If our system allowed for people to somehow-- whether it was their doing or somebody else's doing-- to delay their incarceration to see if they can rehabilitate and become a productive member of society, become a family man, I don't know how we would do that.
如果我们的制度允许人们以某种方式——无论是他们自己做的还是其他人做的——推迟他们的监禁，看看他们是否能够康复并成为社会的富有成效的成员，成为一个有家室的男人，我不知道我们会怎么做。
I don't know where you stop.
我不知道你停在哪里。
Where do you draw the line?
你在哪里划清界限？
That's not a precedent that I feel that we can set.
我认为这不是我们可以开创的先例。
Mike's family hired a lawyer who's filed a brief arguing that when the state forgot about Mike for 13 years, they violated his constitutional right to due process, or speedy punishment, that now suddenly taking Mike away from his life because of the state's, quote, "utter and complete failure to act defines cruelty," end quote.
迈克的家人聘请了一名律师，该律师提交了一份简短的辩称，当国家忘记迈克13年之久时，他们侵犯了他享有正当程序或迅速惩罚的宪法权利，现在突然夺走了迈克的生命，因为国家“完全不采取行动定义了残忍”，引用结束语。
If that fails, Mike can petition Missouri governor Jay Nixon for clemency.
如果失败，迈克可以向密苏里州州长杰伊·尼克松请求宽大处理。
He's only granted that once.
他只被允许过一次。
Then there's the victim from the robbery.
然后是抢劫案的受害者。
You'd think if anyone would have an opinion about whether Mike should serve his time or not, it would be him.
你可能会想，如果有人对迈克是否应该服刑有意见，那一定是他。
I hope someday that man can forgive me for what I was a part of.
我希望有一天那个人能够原谅我所参与的事情。
So I've always wanted to someway, somehow, reach out to him, but I always feared that it would be an intrusion.
所以我一直想以某种方式联系他，但我总是担心这会是一种侵犯。
All I can do is just-- I'm sorry.
我能做的就是——对不起。
I should have never been there that night.
那天晚上我根本不应该去那里。
I first reported this story last summer for the St. Louis Riverfront Times.
去年夏天，我首次为《圣路易斯河滨时报》报道了这个故事。
At that time, I couldn't find the victim.
当时我找不到受害者。
But then, right after my article published, he found me.
但后来，我的文章发表后，他就找到了我。
His name is Dennis.
他的名字叫丹尼斯。
I was sitting there back at work, eating my lunch and reading this magazine.
我坐在那儿工作，一边吃午饭，一边读这本杂志。
Something about, oh, the guy was a Burger King manager at a night shift, and he got robbed out in St. Charles.
哦，这个人是汉堡王夜班经理，他在圣查尔斯被抢劫了。
And that's when I was like, wow, man, this is really trippy.
那时我就想，哇，伙计，这真的很迷幻。
That almost sounds like something that happened to me.
这听起来几乎就像发生在我身上的事情。
And then when I got on down farther, then I was like, crap, they are talking about me.
然后当我再往下走时，我就想，糟糕，他们在谈论我。
When he first contacted me, Dennis sent me an email saying, I was that victim.
当丹尼斯第一次联系我时，他给我发了一封电子邮件，说我就是那个受害者。
Why don't you talk to me, and I'll tell you how bad it screwed up my life.
为什么你不跟我谈谈，我会告诉你这件事对我的生活造成了多么严重的影响。
When we finally met, Dennis told me that getting robbed at gunpoint left him deeply paranoid.
当我们终于见面时，丹尼斯告诉我，被枪胁迫抢劫让他非常偏执。
He even moved a few times, thinking the robbers might come looking for him to keep him from testifying.
他甚至还动了几次，以为强盗可能会来找他，阻止他作证。
It started kind of getting to me a little bit, to where I wasn't sleeping at nights.
它开始让我有点困扰，让我晚上睡不着觉。
And it kind of just escalated from there.
从那时起事情就升级了。
I didn't want to be there at work no more, refused to take any money back to the bank, not at nighttime, anyway.
我不想再去那里工作，拒绝把任何钱带回银行，至少晚上不行。
I just didn't trust anybody, didn't want to do anything, didn't want to be anywhere.
我只是不相信任何人，不想做任何事，不想去任何地方。
I just pretty much wanted to just be by myself.
我只是想一个人待着。
Dennis said he had problems in his life before the robbery-- with his marriage, with drinking.
丹尼斯说，在抢劫发生之前，他的生活出现了问题——婚姻、酗酒。
But he says after, they got worse.
但他说，之后情况变得更糟。
His marriage fell apart.
他的婚姻破裂了。
And so when Dennis found out that Mike never served his sentence, he got pretty angry.
因此，当丹尼斯发现迈克从未服刑时，他非常生气。
But then the more I thought about it, it was like, what you're doing to him is not right.
但后来我越想越觉得，你对他做的事情是不对的。
He wasn't out robbing other people, doing this, that, and the other.
他并没有出去抢劫别人，做这做那，做那做那。
He seemed to have gotten his life together.
他似乎已经把自己的生活整合在一起了。
You've got to give the guy a little bit of slack.
你得给这家伙一点宽松的空间。
I mean, yeah, he screwed up when he was little.
我的意思是，是的，他小时候搞砸了。
But the law dropped the ball.
但法律却失败了。
The law ought to drop it completely.
法律应该彻底废除它。
They need to leave the man alone.
他们需要让这个人独自一人。
When you tell people that that's how you feel about it, does it surprise them?
当你告诉人们这就是你的感受时，他们会感到惊讶吗？
It's the weirdest thing.
这是最奇怪的事情。
As I was sitting downstairs rereading that article one day for my daughter, she goes, Dad, we read this in school the other day.
有一天，当我坐在楼下为女儿重读那篇文章时，她说，爸爸，前几天我们在学校读过这篇文章。
I was like, oh yeah?
我当时想，哦，是吗？
I said, oh.
我说，哦。
But at the time, she didn't know it was me.
但当时，她并不知道那是我。
Because I just never talk about it.
因为我从来不谈论它。
She said that she didn't think it was right, what they're doing to him now.
她说她认为他们现在对他所做的事情是不对的。
And pretty much her whole class agreed with her.
几乎全班同学都同意她的观点。
Then Dennis told her that he was the Burger King manager in that article and that he felt the same way she did.
然后丹尼斯告诉她，他是那篇文章中的汉堡王经理，他和她有同样的感觉。
Two days after that conversation, I went back to the prison to talk to Mike.
那次谈话两天后，我回到监狱与迈克谈话。
I told him what Dennis and his daughter said, that the state should let him go.
我告诉他丹尼斯和他女儿说的话，国家应该让他离开。
He was overwhelmed.
他不知所措。
Wow, that's-- all I can say is praise, God.
哇，我只能说赞美，上帝。
Thank God for that.
感谢上帝。
And I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么。
(CHOKING UP) I don't.
（哽咽）我不。
He told me he was really sorry to be bothering Dennis by reminding him of the past.
他告诉我，他真的很抱歉让丹尼斯想起过去而打扰他。
I appreciate him.
我很欣赏他。
I never want him to ever be-- this brought back to him.
我从来不想让他成为这样的人——这又让他想起了。
That's my fault.
那是我的错。
I appreciate him for that-- his daughter and the class.
我为此感谢他——他的女儿和班级。
His daughter could be affected by that, you know?
他的女儿可能会受到影响，你知道吗？
That's not something that I ever-- that's never my intent, and I don't want that.
这不是我曾经做过的事——这从来不是我的意图，我也不想那样。
Mike is afraid of falling into the daily routines of prison.
迈克害怕陷入监狱的日常生活中。
So aside from his church group, he doesn't interact much with the other inmates.
因此，除了他的教会团体之外，他与其他囚犯的互动不多。
He won't do things like watch TV with them or play cards.
他不会和他们一起看电视或打牌之类的事情。
He also doesn't like writing his family letters.
他也不喜欢写家人的信件。
I try not to write anybody because I don't want to get used to this.
我尽量不给任何人写信，因为我不想习惯这一点。
I don't want my wife coming up here to visit me.
我不想让我的妻子来这里探望我。
She wanted to come up here the 1st of this month, and I said, no, don't do it.
她想这个月 1 号来这里，我说，不，别这么做。
For eight years, we've never been apart.
八年来，我们从未分开过。
And I don't want her getting this image of me.
我不想让她看到我的这个形象。
I don't want anybody thinking this is who I am.
我不想让任何人认为这就是我。
If you could go back, would you turn yourself in at 22?
如果可以重来，你会在22岁时自首吗？
If I would have known this, yes.
如果我知道这一点，是的。
Yes.
是的。
If it would have been something-- oh, definitely.
如果它是某种东西的话——哦，当然。
Like I said, I would have rather done it then.
就像我说的，我宁愿那么做。
I was 22, 23 at the time, didn't have any children, didn't have a wife, didn't have a mortgage, didn't have a car payment.
我当时22、23岁，没有孩子，没有妻子，没有抵押贷款，没有汽车付款。
The hurt would have been less then.
那样伤害就会少一些。
No one, financially or physically, depended on me.
没有人在经济上或身体上依赖我。
It's almost like I feel like I've abandoned my job as a man and as a father.
我几乎感觉自己已经放弃了作为一个男人和一个父亲的工作。
Because my mom, my wife, my kids, they're doing the same time I'm doing.
因为我的妈妈、我的妻子、我的孩子们，他们和我在做同样的事情。
As it stands now, Mike's sentence will keep him in until 2026.
目前来看，迈克的刑期将使他被关押到 2026 年。
He'll be nearly 50 when he gets out.
等他出来的时候，他已经快50岁了。
His two-year-old will just be starting high school.
他两岁的孩子刚刚开始上高中。
Accepting all that, it's just too crushing to consider.
接受这一切，想想就太令人沮丧了。
I have to look at it like, no matter what, God's got me.
无论如何，我必须这样看待它：上帝抓住了我。
I wake up every time the doors pop.
每次门突然打开我都会醒来。
Every time the intercom comes on, every time my name is called, I feel it's my time.
每次对讲机响起，每次叫到我的名字，我都觉得是我的时间了。
I'm going home.
我要回家了。
How long do you think you can kind of keep up that mindset?
你认为你能保持这种心态多久？
I'm going to keep up that mindset till the day I walk out of here.
我会一直保持这种心态，直到我走出这里的那一天。
I have to.
我必须。
I can't sit here and think that I'll be here for 13 years.
我不能坐在这里想着我会在这里待 13 年。
There's no way.
没办法啊
Everything that I've been allowed to do that I've accomplished.
我已经完成了所有被允许做的事情。
It seems like it would be all for nothing.
似乎这一切都是徒劳的。
In November, Mike and his wife both expected he'd be home for Christmas.
十一月，迈克和他的妻子都希望他能回家过圣诞节。
Now she just assures herself it'll be very soon.
现在她只是向自己保证，这很快就会发生。
They talk on the phone almost every day.
他们几乎每天都通电话。
But they both told me they figure they'll finally discuss Mike's original crime, and the fact he kept it from her all those years, face-to-face, once this is all over, once he gets home.
但他们都告诉我，他们认为他们最终会讨论迈克最初的罪行，以及他多年来对她隐瞒的事实，一旦这一切结束，一旦他回家。
Jessica Lussenhop, she's the managing editor at the Riverfront Times in St. Louis.
杰西卡·卢森霍普 (Jessica Lussenhop) 是圣路易斯《河滨时报》的总编辑。
Since we first broadcast that story a year ago, a lot has changed for Mike Anderson and his family.
自从我们一年前首次播出这个故事以来，迈克·安德森和他的家人发生了很多变化。
Four little children are back in the arms of their father tonight.
今晚，四个小孩又回到了父亲的怀抱。
They haven't seen him since US Marshals came to take him back to prison last July.
自从去年七月美国法警将他带回监狱以来，他们就再也没有见过他。
That's right.
这是正确的。
Mike Anderson was released this past May when a judge decided keeping him in prison was a waste of taxpayer money and that, quote, "it would unnecessarily punish an obviously rehabilitated man." Then six months after being released, Mike was back behind bars.
迈克·安德森（Mike Anderson）于今年五月被释放，当时一名法官认为将他关在监狱里是浪费纳税人的钱，并且引用“这将不必要地惩罚一个显然已经改过自新的人”。获释六个月后，迈克又回到监狱。
He was leaving a restaurant, 1:00 in the morning.
凌晨 1:00，他正离开一家餐馆。
And he was stopped by police, identified as a man who had just stolen a purse.
他被警察拦住，警方确认他是一名刚刚偷了钱包的男子。
Mike Anderson said he was innocent.
迈克·安德森说他是无辜的。
He was nowhere near the scene of the crime when the crime happened.
案发时他并不在案发现场附近。
He'd said he'd been in the restaurant with his wife at a party his employer was throwing.
他说他和妻子在餐厅里参加了雇主举办的聚会。
He was charged with felony, second degree robbery.
他被指控犯有重罪、二级抢劫罪。
Then three months after being arrested, new evidence emerged.
被捕三个月后，新的证据出现了。
Surveillance footage proved Mike had been telling the truth all along.
监控录像证明迈克一直说的是实话。
Here's Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce.
请听巡回检察官詹妮弗·乔伊斯的报道。
My apologies to Mr. Anderson.
我向安德森先生道歉。
Mr. Anderson did not commit this crime.
安德森先生并没有犯下这一罪行。
And so two times, Mike Anderson became a free man.
就这样，迈克·安德森两次成为自由人。
Coming up after the break, a date that is close, so close to being perfect, except for one thing.
休息后即将到来，这次约会已经非常接近完美，除了一件事之外。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, "Except For That One Thing." Stories where everything is perfect, except for one inconvenient detail.
今天的节目是《除了那一件事》。除了一个不方便的细节之外，一切都很完美的故事。
We have arrived at Act 2 of our program.
我们已经到了计划的第二幕。
Act 2, Not Okay Cupid.
第二幕，丘比特不好。
This is a piece of fiction by BJ Novak-- a piece of fiction that, with his help, we've turned into a little radio drama.
这是 BJ Novak 的一部小说——在他的帮助下，我们把这部小说变成了一部小型广播剧。
It takes place at a restaurant.
事情发生在一家餐厅。
Hold on, let me cue restaurant sound, please.
请稍等，让我提示一下餐厅的声音。
[CHATTER] There we go.
[喋喋不休]我们开始了。
OK.
好的。
Here's our story.
这是我们的故事。
OK.
好的。
Now, you, sir.
现在，你，先生。
Bj Novak Julie finished the second-to-last half sip of her third complicated cocktail.
Bj Novak Julie 喝完了她的第三杯复杂鸡尾酒的倒数第二半。
Yes?
是的？
Julie You, sir.
朱莉 你，先生。
Now, I am-- OK.
现在，我——好吧。
[LAUGHS] I feel like we've only talked about me, but I don't know anything about you, other than that you're very charming, and well, very cute, of course.
[笑]我觉得我们只谈论了我，但我对你一无所知，除了你非常迷人，当然，非常可爱。
Don't let that go to your head.
不要让这个占据你的头脑。
Shouldn't have said that.
不应该这么说。
Shouldn't have said that.
不应该这么说。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Julie OK.
朱莉 好的。
If this is my-- [LAUGHS] OK.
如果这是我的——[笑]好吧。
What do you do?
你做什么工作？
Sorry.
对不起。
I hate that question, too.
我也讨厌这个问题。
It's like, is this a date or an interview, right?
就像，这是约会还是采访，对吧？
He finished his bite of sauce-soaked broccolini and answered.
他吃完一口沾满酱汁的西兰花，然后回答道。
[INAUDIBLE] lord.
[听不清] 主啊。
Julie Hm?
朱莉 嗯？
All I heard was "lord."
我只听到“主啊”。
Yes.
是的。
Julie Oh, OK.
朱莉哦，好的。
OK.
好的。
This is fun.
这很有趣。
Are you a landlord?
你是房东吗？
Because I do not have the best history getting along with landlords.
因为我和房东相处的历史不太好。
My first apartment--
我的第一间公寓——
I am not a landlord.
我不是房东。
Julie Are you a drug lord?
朱莉 你是毒枭吗？
Julie stroke-poked the side of his face with her finger.
朱莉用手指戳了戳他的侧脸。
No. Julie You're not the Lord, are you?
不，朱莉，你不是主，是吗？
Because I haven't gone to temple since my bat mitzvah.
因为自从我的成人礼之后我就没有去过寺庙了。
Don't tell my grandma.
别告诉我奶奶。
[CHUCKLES] Bj Novak She could tell he was laughing just to be nice.
[咯咯笑] Bj Novak 她看得出来他只是为了表现得好而笑。
And she liked that more than if he had laughed from finding her funny.
她更喜欢这样，而不是他因为觉得她有趣而大笑。
A nice guy, now that would be a real change of pace for her.
一个好人，现在这对她来说将是一个真正的改变。
Then what kind of lord are you anyways, huh?
那你到底是个什么样的主啊？
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
I'm a warlord.
我是一个军阀。
Julie Interesting.
朱莉 有趣。
Now, I don't know exactly what this is.
现在，我不知道这到底是什么。
But I want to learn.
但我想学习。
So what exactly is a warlord?
那么到底什么是军阀呢？
She rested her chin playfully on a V of two upturned palms.
她顽皮地将下巴搁在两只向上的 V 形手掌上。
Educate me.
教育我。
Julie's Date OK.
朱莉的约会没问题。
Can you picture where the Congo is on a map?
你能想象刚果在地图上的位置吗？
This is Africa.
这是非洲。
Bj Novak He pointed to an imaginary map in the air between them.
Bj Novak 他指着他们之间空中的一张想象的地图。
This is the Indian Ocean.
这就是印度洋。
This is the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
这就是刚果民主共和国。
This is just regular Congo.
这只是普通的刚果。
Wha-- what?
什——什么？
Hold up.
耽误。
Julie's Date I know.
我知道朱莉的约会。
That's just how it is.
就是这样。
I didn't name them.
我没有说出他们的名字。
[CHUCKLES] Anyway, this, all this here, this is what I control.
[咯咯笑]无论如何，这，这一切，都是我控制的。
No. There are areas of the world, Julie, where it will show up on your map as a certain country.
不。朱莉，世界上的某些地区会在您的地图上显示为某个国家。
But in reality, no government is in control of that region in any real way.
但实际上，没有政府能够以任何真正的方式控制该地区。
They cannot collect taxes.
他们不能征税。
They cannot enforce laws.
他们无法执行法律。
Do you follow?
你跟随吗？
The people that are in charge are the warlords.
掌权的人是军阀。
They-- we-- bribe, kidnap, indoctrinate, torture, and what am I forgetting?
他们——我们——贿赂、绑架、灌输、酷刑，而我忘记了什么？
What's the fifth one?
第五个是什么？
Oh, kill.
哦，杀了。
[CHUCKLES] It's weird that I forgot that one.
[咯咯笑] 奇怪的是我忘记了那个。
We kill the population of any region that falls above a certain threshold of natural resources but below a certain threshold of government protection.
我们杀死任何自然资源超过一定阈值但政府保护低于一定阈值的地区的人口。
It's not exactly that simple, Julie.
事情并不那么简单，朱莉。
But basically that determines where I'm based.
但基本上这决定了我的基地。
Once those conditions reach that level, me and my team, we show up and terrorize that area until the entire population is either dead, subdued, or ideally, one of our soldiers.
一旦这些情况达到这种程度，我和我的团队就会出现并恐吓该地区，直到全体居民要么死亡、被制服，要么最好是我们的一名士兵。
Ideally-ideally, dream scenario, a child soldier.
理想-理想，梦想的场景，一名儿童兵。
No. It isn't legal at all.
不，这根本不合法。
Have you been listening?
你有在听吗？
Oh, um-- Bj Novak Julie blushed and rotated her fork on her napkin in a four-point turn so that she would have something to focus on besides her embarrassment.
哦，嗯——Bj Novak Julie 脸红了，把餐巾上的叉子旋转了四点，这样除了尴尬之外，她还有别的事情可以集中。
This is a show of force outside the ability of any government to enforce its laws.
这是任何政府执行法律能力之外的武力展示。
He went on and on.
他继续说下去。
The words "rape" and "limbs" came up more than on any other date she could remember.
“强奸”和“四肢”这两个词比她记忆中的任何其他日期出现的次数都要多。
Have you ever scene a picket fence made of limbs?
你见过用四肢做成的尖桩篱栅吗？
No. But what about, like, the international community?
不。但是国际社会呢？
Don't they ever pressure you to stop or-- or something?
他们从来没有强迫你停下来或者——或者其他什么吗？
Yes, sure.
是的，当然。
For example, there was this thing about me on Twitter a while ago.
比如，前段时间推特上有关于我的一件事。
Are you on Twitter?
你有用Twitter吗？
She said she was but didn't check it often.
她说她是，但没有经常检查。
Same here.
同样在这里。
I have an account, but I can never figure out if it's a thing I do or not.
我有一个帐户，但我永远无法弄清楚这是否是我做的事情。
Anyway, I was trending.
无论如何，我是趋势。
Do you know what that is?
你知道那是什么吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Julie's Date I'll be honest, it weirded me out.
朱莉的约会 说实话，这让我很奇怪。
I got into this pattern where I was checking my name every two seconds.
我陷入了这种模式，每两秒检查一次我的名字。
And there were, like, 45 new mentions of me-- all negative.
大约有 45 次新提及我——全都是负面的。
Exactly.
确切地。
Anyway, it passed.
无论如何，都过去了。
You know Twitter, before long everyone's onto the next thing.
你知道 Twitter，很快每个人都会关注下一个事情。
What about [GULP] um, the ethics of it?
[GULP] 嗯，它的道德规范怎么样？
How do you feel about that?
你对此有何感想？
Doesn't that trouble you?
这不困扰你吗？
The warlord gestured to Julie with his fork.
军阀用叉子向朱莉做了个手势。
That top you're wearing-- Anthropologie?
你穿的那件上衣——人类学？
H&M, but thank you.
H&M，但是谢谢你。
Julie's Date Even better.
朱莉的约会 更好。
Do you know the conditions in the factories that made that top you're wearing?
你知道制造你穿的这件上衣的工厂的条件吗？
Do you ever think about that?
你有想过吗？
Yeah, OK.
是的，好的。
No. That's not-- nice try.
不，这不是——很好的尝试。
Just because-- no. No. And yes, I know this phone right here that I use every day.
只是因为——不。不。是的，我知道我每天都在使用这部手机。
But no-- no. You can't-- it doesn't help anything to equate-- look-- there's no excuse.
但不——不。你不能——它没有任何帮助——看，没有任何借口。
But that also does not mean--
但这也并不意味着——
(WHISPERING) Just in case you're thinking about dessert.
（低声）以防万一你正在考虑甜点。
The waitress dropped off two stiff sheets of artisan paper in front of Julie and the warlord.
女服务员把两张硬邦邦的纸放在朱莉和军阀面前。
Remember when they used to ask first if you wanted to see a dessert menu?
还记得他们曾经先问你是否想看甜点菜单吗？
Now everyone just ambushes you with a dessert menu without asking.
现在每个人都不问就用甜点菜单伏击你。
When did that start?
那是从什么时候开始的？
I know.
我知道。
Everyone started doing it at the same time, too.
每个人也同时开始这样做。
Yes.
是的。
Julie How does stuff like that happen?
朱莉 这样的事怎么会发生呢？
I don't know.
我不知道。
Julie Everywhere just [SNAPS FINGERS] changing their policy at the exact same time.
Julie Everywhere 恰好在同一时间[打响指]改变了他们的政策。
I have no idea.
我不知道。
Better get Malcolm Gladwell on that.
最好让马尔科姆·格拉德威尔来解决这个问题。
I know, right?
我知道，对吧？
Bj Novak They both scanned the menus.
Bj Novak 他们都浏览了菜单。
Let's see-- Bj Novak Each pair of eyes starting in the unhelpful middle of the dessert menu for some no-reason, then tipsily circling around and around until most of the important words had been absorbed.
让我们看看——Bj Novak 每双眼睛都无缘无故地从甜点菜单中间无用的地方开始，然后醉醺醺地转来转去，直到大部分重要的单词都被吸收了。
I have never understood flourless chocolate cake.
我一直不明白无面粉巧克力蛋糕。
Is flour such a bad thing?
面粉有这么坏吗？
I mean, compared to the other things in chocolate cake?
我的意思是，与巧克力蛋糕中的其他东西相比？
You want to split that?
你想分割那个吗？
Julie's Date Flour is probably the least unhealthy thing I can think of in a chocolate cake.
朱莉的枣子粉可能是我能想到的巧克力蛋糕中最不健康的东西了。
Is that supposed to be the point, that the whole cake is just all eggs and sugar and butter?
整个蛋糕都是鸡蛋、糖和黄油，这就是重点吗？
And anyway, who cares?
无论如何，谁在乎呢？
It's chocolate cake.
这是巧克力蛋糕。
We know it's not a health food.
我们知道它不是保健食品。
Use whatever ingredients you want.
使用任何你想要的成分。
All it has to do is taste good.
它所要做的就是味道好。
We don't need to know how you did it, just make it.
我们不需要知道你是如何做到的，只要做到就行。
You want to maybe split that?
你想把它分开吗？
Julie's Date We shall split the flourless chocolate cake.
朱莉的约会 我们将分割无面粉巧克力蛋糕。
Great.
伟大的。
Julie So do you get to travel a lot?
朱莉 那么你经常旅行吗？
Not as much as I'd like.
没有我想要的那么多。
Now and then we'll reach some ceasefire, especially after some big massacre, and things get quiet for a bit.
有时我们会达成停火协议，尤其是在发生了一些大屠杀之后，事情会变得平静一些。
That's what allowed me to take some time off, travel, meet you, stuff like that.
这就是让我有时间休息、旅行、见你等等的原因。
Oh, I meant to say, you look even better in person than in your profile picture.
哦，我的意思是，你本人看起来比你的头像还要好看。
Oh, thank you.
哦，谢谢。
Julie's Date Yeah.
朱莉的约会 是的。
I've been meaning to tell you that.
我一直想告诉你这一点。
It's a nice surprise.
这是一个很好的惊喜。
Rare that it goes in that direction.
很少会朝那个方向发展。
Hah, well, thanks.
哈，好的，谢谢。
Um, same.
嗯，一样。
Don't let it go to your head.
不要让它冲昏头脑。
Ceasefires?
停火？
Julie's Date Right.
朱莉的约会对了。
So you know, ceasefires, they never stick.
所以你知道，停火从来不会坚持下去。
Yes.
是的。
I think I saw something about that on Jon Stewart.
我想我在乔恩·斯图尔特身上看到了一些关于这一点的东西。
That must be frustrating.
这一定很令人沮丧。
It is.
这是。
Thank you, Julie.
谢谢你，朱莉。
That's exactly the right word.
这是完全正确的词。
It's very frustrating.
这非常令人沮丧。
Flourless chocolate cake.
无面粉巧克力蛋糕。
Julie Thank you.
朱莉谢谢你。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Waitress Can I get you anything else?
服务员 我能给您点别的吗？
Another drink?
再来一杯？
I really shouldn't.
我真的不应该。
Are you OK to drive, by the way?
顺便问一下，你可以开车吗？
I have a driver.
我有一个司机。
Bj Novak Julie ordered a fourth and final cocktail.
Bj Novak Julie 点了第四杯也是最后一杯鸡尾酒。
BJ Novak, that story, "Julie and the Warlord," is from his book of short stories called One More Thing-- Stories and Other Stories .
BJ 诺瓦克（BJ Novak）的故事《朱莉和军阀》出自他的短篇小说集《还有一件事——故事和其他故事》。
Our amazing actors-- Alison Brie played Julie.
我们出色的演员——爱丽森·布里扮演朱莉。
Tunde Adebimpe was the warlord.
通德·阿德宾佩 (Tunde Adebimpe) 是军阀。
Act 3, Hungry Hungry People.
第三幕，饥饿的人们。
There was a period in the early 1900s in our country when meat was actually scarce because of huge waves of immigrants coming in.
在 1900 年代初期，我国曾有过一段时期，由于大批移民涌入，肉类实际上很稀缺。
Plus, there was also a growing demand for us to export meat to other countries.
此外，我们向其他国家出口肉类的需求也不断增长。
And meat was scarce enough that the thinkers and journalists and politicians of the day didn't just call it a meat shortage.
肉类非常稀缺，以至于当时的思想家、记者和政治家不仅仅称其为肉类短缺。
The problem was commonly referred to by this loftier, more zen-like name, the Meat Question.
这个问题通常用一个更崇高、更禅宗的名字来称呼：“肉类问题”。
Jon Mooallem wrote a long story about this for The Atavist online.
乔恩·穆阿勒姆 (Jon Mooallem) 为《返祖者》在线网站撰写了一篇关于此的长篇故事。
He says that there would be newspaper editorials about what are we going to do about the Meat Question.
他说报纸上会有社论讨论我们将如何解决肉类问题。
It pops up in congressional testimony on unrelated subjects.
它出现在国会关于不相关主题的证词中。
People will say, well, you know, it's just like the Meat Question.
人们会说，嗯，你知道，这就像肉类问题一样。
The question being, how are we going to raise enough meat for all the people here?
问题是，我们如何为这里的所有人饲养足够的肉？
Jon Mooallem talked to This American Life producer Alex Blumberg about all this.
乔恩·穆阿勒姆 (Jon Mooallem) 与《美国生活》制片人亚历克斯·布隆伯格 (Alex Blumberg) 谈论了这一切。
He said it wasn't like American industry wasn't trying to produce more meat.
他说，美国工业并不是没有尝试生产更多的肉类。
This is like Upton Sinclair, The Jungle era.
这就像厄普顿·辛克莱的《丛林时代》。
So you have the industry just ramping up and trying to become as efficient as it can.
因此，这个行业正在加速发展，并试图尽可能提高效率。
But it's just not happening.
但这并没有发生。
It's just the supply was still being dwarfed by the demand.
只是供应量仍与需求量相比相形见绌。
And--
还有——
No matter how many rats and human fingers they added, they just couldn't produce enough meat.
无论他们添加多少老鼠和人类手指，他们都无法生产出足够的肉。
Well, right.
嗯，对。
And people were actually a little bit worried.
人们实际上有点担心。
There were rumors that Germans were eating dogs and all this stuff.
有传言说德国人正在吃狗和所有这些东西。
And could it happen here, too?
这也会发生在这里吗？
And in that way, it was also really an existential crisis for the country at the same time because literally, we had gone all the way west.
这样一来，这同时也是这个国家的一场生存危机，因为从字面上看，我们已经一路向西了。
People talk about the frontier being closed.
人们谈论边境被关闭。
There wasn't a sense that there was more to scoop up in America.
没有人觉得美国还有更多东西可以挖掘。
Passenger pigeons and buffalo had been decimated.
旅鸽和水牛大量死亡。
You had forests that had been overlogged and destroyed.
你的森林被过度砍伐和破坏。
And then suddenly, about 1900, 1910, this kind of regret started to seep into the culture where people were kind of looking around and wondering, well, what have we done?
然后突然之间，大约在 1900 年、1910 年，这种遗憾开始渗透到文化中，人们环顾四周，想知道，我们做了什么？
And what did that say about the country at the turn of the century if no one could come up with some innovative idea to kind of hit this problem head on and solve it?
如果没有人能想出一些创新的想法来正面解决这个问题，那么对于世纪之交的国家来说，这意味着什么呢？
OK.
好的。
So there's the problem.
所以问题来了。
It's a problem that's crying out for bold solutions.
这是一个迫切需要大胆解决方案的问题。
And low and behold, somebody comes forth with a bold solution.
瞧，有人提出了一个大胆的解决方案。
Right.
正确的。
It was a very bold solution.
这是一个非常大胆的解决方案。
The solution was hippopotamuses.
解决方案是河马。
[LAUGHS] Explain.
[笑]解释一下。
Explain further.
进一步解释一下。
How are hippopotamuses going to fix the problem?
河马将如何解决这个问题？
OK.
好的。
It was really going to be cool.
这真的会很酷。
The problem basically is we don't have any more land.
问题基本上是我们没有更多的土地。
We've hit the Pacific Ocean.
我们已经到达太平洋了。
So what we need to do is look at land that right now looks completely worthless and find a way to extract the energy that's hidden in that land and turn it into meat.
所以我们需要做的是看看现在看起来完全没有价值的土地，找到一种方法来提取隐藏在这片土地中的能量并将其转化为肉。
The swamps all along the Gulf Coast-- you can't have a cow trudging through a swamp, eating muddy water.
墨西哥湾沿岸都是沼泽——你不可能让一头牛在沼泽中艰难跋涉，吃泥水。
It's not going to survive.
它不会生存。
You can't graze it there.
你不能在那里吃草。
But you could take a hippopotamus and put it in that landscape, and it would eat aquatic plants.
但是你可以把河马放在那个地方，它就会吃水生植物。
So the hippopotamus was this-- today we'd call it a very disruptive technology.
河马就是这样的——今天我们称其为一项非常具有颠覆性的技术。
It was going to turn something that seemed worthless and leverage it into millions of tons of meat to solve this big crisis.
它将把看似毫无价值的东西变成数百万吨的肉来解决这场大危机。
And there's two main sort of characters at the center of your story who were behind this-- Frederick Burnham and a man named Fritz Duquesne.
故事的中心有两个主要人物是这一切的幕后黑手——弗雷德里克·伯纳姆（Frederick Burnham）和一个名叫弗里茨·杜肯（Fritz Duquesne）的人。
And both of them have very sort of colorful back histories, but they both spent time in Africa, were sort of very, very talented outdoor guide, survival guide scouts.
他们俩都有非常丰富多彩的背景历史，但他们都在非洲呆过一段时间，都是非常非常有才华的户外向导、生存向导侦察兵。
Yeah.
是的。
Someone had called Burnham the most complete human being who ever lived, I guess you would say, like a shorthand.
我想你会说，有人称伯纳姆为有史以来最完整的人，就像一个速记一样。
And these guys were actually, you write-- for much of their lives, they were mortal enemies.
你写道，这些人实际上在他们一生的大部分时间里都是不共戴天的敌人。
For a large part of their lives, they were actually spies.
在他们一生的大部分时间里，他们实际上都是间谍。
They fought against each other.
他们互相争斗。
But they had actually come together at this point over this idea, the hippo idea.
但实际上他们此时已经就这个想法，即河马想法走到了一起。
And then at a certain point, this idea, with their help, makes its way to Congress.
然后在某个时刻，这个想法在他们的帮助下进入了国会。
Yeah.
是的。
So a congressman named Robert Broussard from Louisiana-- his constituents called him Cousin Bob.
因此，来自路易斯安那州的一位名叫罗伯特·布鲁萨德的国会议员——他的选民称他为鲍勃表弟。
He insisted he was cousins with half of the people in his district.
他坚称自己与所在地区一半的人是表兄弟。
And Broussard brought a bill to the Agriculture Committee of the House of Representatives to ask for $250,000 for the importation of useful animals, the hippopotamus being-- that was the example they felt ready to go ahead with, the common hippopotamus.
布鲁萨德向众议院农业委员会提出了一项法案，要求拨款 25 万美元用于进口有用的动物，河马——这是他们认为准备好继续实施的例子，普通河马。
And Jon writes that everyone involved in this idea had their own motivations.
乔恩写道，参与这个想法的每个人都有自己的动机。
For Congressman Bob Broussard, it was to solve a problem in his district-- the water hyacinth.
对于国会议员鲍勃·布鲁萨德来说，这是为了解决他所在选区的一个问题——水葫芦。
It came to New Orleans during the World's Fair, which was also known as the World Industrial and Cotton Centennial, when a group of Japanese visitors had given a bunch of water hyacinths away as gifts.
它在世界博览会期间来到新奥尔良，该博览会也被称为世界工业和棉花百年纪念，当时一群日本游客赠送了一束水葫芦作为礼物。
And the water hyacinth, basically, was a plague in the bayous of Louisiana.
基本上，水葫芦是路易斯安那州海湾的瘟疫。
It was choking all these rivers and stopped shipping.
它堵塞了所有这些河流并停止了航运。
Boats couldn't get through with cargo.
船只无法运送货物。
Fish died because there was no oxygen left in the water.
鱼死了是因为水中没有氧气了。
And there were all sorts of attempts to kill the flower, none of which worked.
人们曾尝试过各种各样的方法来杀死这朵花，但都没有成功。
The US War Department was on the job, just even pouring oil all over the flower, hoping to kill it.
美国陆军部出手了，甚至把油浇在花上，希望能杀死它。
So the idea was the hippos could be brought in, put in the rivers.
所以我们的想法是可以把河马引入河里。
They'd suck up all this aquatic vegetation.
它们会吸收所有这些水生植物。
And so they'd literally ingest one problem and convert it into the solution for the other problem, which was the meat crisis.
因此，他们确实吸收了一个问题，并将其转化为另一个问题的解决方案，即肉类危机。
Two birds.
两只鸟。
Jon Mooallem Exactly.
乔恩·穆阿勒姆 没错。
As I say, it was a perversely elegant win-win, the hippopotamuses.
正如我所说，河马这是一场异常优雅的双赢。
Yeah.
是的。
Alex Blumberg Except that it's utterly ridiculous, right?
亚历克斯·布隆伯格（Alex Blumberg）：除了这太荒谬了，对吧？
OK.
好的。
Right, it's utterly ridiculous.
没错，这实在是太荒谬了。
But can you tell me why?
但你能告诉我为什么吗？
Well, it's just-- hippopotamus is just a ridiculous thing.
嗯，只是——河马真是个可笑的东西。
OK.
好的。
So I don't disagree with what you're saying, but you're telling me why it sounds ridiculous.
所以我并不反对你所说的，但你告诉我为什么这听起来很荒谬。
You're not telling me why it is ridiculous.
你没有告诉我为什么这很荒谬。
And I'm not saying that it's not ridiculous.
我并不是说这并不荒谬。
OK?
好的？
I'm just saying that I can't yet locate exactly why it is ridiculous.
我只是说我还不能确切地找出为什么它是荒谬的。
And actually, as you looked into it, there was a lot of reasons why this plan should actually work.
事实上，当你深入研究时，你会发现这个计划真正有效的原因有很多。
And maybe not even why it would work, but there's a logic to it.
也许甚至不知道为什么它会起作用，但它是有逻辑的。
I was surprised by how much logic there was to it.
我对它的逻辑性感到惊讶。
That was what drew me in.
这就是吸引我的地方。
And you can really see this logic on display in the congressional hearing about this idea.
你可以在国会关于这个想法的听证会上真正看到这种逻辑。
Back in 1910, testimony was heard for Broussard's bill, HR 23261, also known as the hippo bill.
早在 1910 年，人们就布鲁萨德法案 HR 23261（也称为河马法案）听取了证词。
One of the main people called on to testify?
主要人物之一被传唤出庭作证？
Fred Burnham.
弗雷德·伯纳姆。
Burnham did a really good job of making this sound normal.
伯纳姆做得非常好，让这听起来很正常。
He made the point that, OK, what are the animals that Americans eat?
他指出，好吧，美国人吃什么动物？
Chickens, pigs, cows, sheep, lambs.
鸡、猪、牛、羊、羔羊。
None of those, really, are native to the US.
事实上，这些都不是美国本土的。
They were all brought centuries before by people from other parts of the world.
它们都是几个世纪前由世界其他地区的人们带来的。
But they had been here so long that we took them for granted as American cuisine.
但它们已经存在了很长时间，我们理所当然地认为它们是美国菜。
Really, the only thing that was native was turkeys.
确实，唯一土生土长的东西就是火鸡。
And we only ate that once a year.
我们一年只吃一次。
So why did we suddenly stop feeling free enough to change the landscape that way?
那么，为什么我们突然不再有足够的自由来改变景观呢？
And so the idea of solving the Meat Question this way, this is sort of where the beautiful poetry of it is.
因此，以这种方式解决肉类问题的想法，这就是它的美丽诗意所在。
It was this key that unlocked all these other feelings of optimism and ambition and sort of stick-to-itiveness that America wanted to feel again.
正是这把钥匙开启了美国想要再次感受到的所有其他乐观、雄心和坚持的感觉。
Because it was a way of saying, we have the smarts and the courage to solve this in a bold way.
因为这是一种说法，我们有智慧和勇气以大胆的方式解决这个问题。
What about, though, the other reaction, which is sort of like, yuck.
不过，另一种反应呢，有点像“恶心”。
That's disgusting.
太恶心了。
I'm not going to eat hippo meat.
我不会吃河马肉。
Yuck.
恶心。
Right.
正确的。
There was a lot of that.
这样的事有很多。
There was a kind of campaign to nudge people past that.
有一种运动来推动人们克服这一点。
You had this guy, WN Irwin, at the Department of Agriculture who was helping Burnham and Duquesne promote it.
农业部的 WN Irwin 正在帮助伯纳姆和杜肯大学推广这一技术。
Apparently he had a supply of hippopotamus jerky that he offered to reporters here and there in his office.
显然，他在办公室里向记者提供了一批河马肉干。
And I found this story in the Washington Post.
我在《华盛顿邮报》上发现了这个故事。
He had actually given it to a Washington Post reporter as he showed the Washington Post reporter a photo of that very hippo being skinned in Africa by a crowd of men.
他实际上把它交给了《华盛顿邮报》记者，当时他向《华盛顿邮报》记者展示了一张照片，照片上那只河马在非洲被一群男人剥皮。
And that reporter liked it.
那位记者很喜欢。
"Toughness is only skin deep," is what he wrote.
“坚韧只是表面的，”他写道。
So obviously, the state of Louisiana is not covered in hippo ranches.
显然，路易斯安那州并没有河马牧场覆盖。
We don't have hippo bacon on the menus of fancy restaurants.
我们高档餐厅的菜单上没有河马培根。
So what happened?
那么发生了什么？
What got in the way of this vision?
是什么阻碍了这一愿景的实现？
Yeah.
是的。
That's a really good question.
这是一个非常好的问题。
What got in the way of this vision?
是什么阻碍了这一愿景的实现？
Frankly, a lot of the problem was administrative.
坦率地说，很多问题都是行政方面的。
They're all writing letters to each other all summer, all three men, trying to get this new food supply society up and running, which was going to be a lobbying firm to promote the idea in the next session of Congress.
整个夏天，三个人都在互相写信，试图让这个新的食品供应协会成立并运行，该协会将成为一家游说公司，在下届国会会议上推广这一想法。
And I said to my editor on the story, I said, I'm starting to get the impression that if they had had email, this might have actually happened.
我对这个故事的编辑说，我开始感觉到，如果他们有电子邮件，这可能真的发生了。
It's just so infuriating.
真是太令人气愤了。
Duquesne writes to Broussard and says, what can I do for you?
杜肯写信给布鲁萨德说，我能为你做什么？
But Broussard is in South America.
但布鲁萨德在南美洲。
And then when he comes back, he gets the flu.
然后当他回来时，他得了流感。
And so you have back and forth with his secretary.
所以你和他的秘书来来回回。
Or Burnham is traveling in Mexico and can't be reached.
或者伯纳姆正在墨西哥旅行，无法联系到。
Or someone misses a letter.
或者有人漏掉了一封信。
They never got the letter.
他们从未收到过这封信。
So then they write back two weeks later, I never received your reply to my last letter.
所以两周后他们回信，我从未收到你对我上一封信的回复。
So it got really messy and sloppy.
所以事情变得非常混乱和草率。
You tell this story at the very end of-- there's this scene at the very, very end of this piece that you wrote, where Frederick Burnham is now an older man.
你在你写的这篇文章的最后非常非常结尾处讲述了这个故事，弗雷德里克·伯纳姆现在已经是一个老人了。
It's 1944.
现在是 1944 年。
Yeah.
是的。
34 years after all this.
这一切过去了 34 年。
At this point, he's a very distinguished man.
从这一点来看，他是一个非常杰出的人。
He's become very wealthy.
他变得非常富有。
And he was preparing his papers for posterity at both Stanford and Yale.
他正在斯坦福大学和耶鲁大学为后代准备论文。
I guess that's how you know you've had an impressive life, when both Stanford and Yale libraries want your archives.
我想，当斯坦福大学和耶鲁大学的图书馆都想要你的档案时，你就知道自己过着令人印象深刻的生活。
And he finds this speech that he had given to a civic organization in Pasadena in 1910.
他找到了 1910 年他在帕萨迪纳向一个民间组织发表的演讲。
And he reads over the speech.
他读了一遍演讲稿。
And there he is in 1910, 34 years earlier, making the case to the general public of why this is going to work, why it's necessary, and just urging these laypeople to understand that what he calls the complacent belief in the unending plenty of our natural wealth was now so totally false.
34 年前的 1910 年，他就在那里向公众阐述了为什么这会起作用、为什么有必要，并敦促这些外行人明白，他所说的对我们的自然财富无穷无尽的自满信念现在完全是错误的。
It was so obvious that wasn't true anymore.
很明显，这不再是事实了。
But that here he was, humbly with this idea.
但他在这里，谦卑地提出了这个想法。
He's assuring them.
他向他们保证。
He's saying, the idea made sense.
他说，这个想法有道理。
It makes sense.
这是有道理的。
But it's going to require working against what he calls overwhelming difficulties and the loud guffaws of the ignorant to make it a reality.
但这需要克服他所说的巨大困难和无知者的大声笑声才能使其成为现实。
And here he is, he reads this over.
他就在这里，把这篇文章读了一遍。
And still, he takes a pen and he writes in this very shaky, kind of old-man hand, he writes, "The facts are still unrefuted." And he signs it "FRB, 1944." And then he sends it off to the archives, which is where I found it.
尽管如此，他仍然拿起笔，用他那双颤抖的、老人般的手写下，“事实仍然没有被反驳。”他签下了“FRB，1944”。然后他把它送到档案馆，我就是在那里找到它的。
Jon Mooallem talking to Alex Blumberg, who these days you may have heard on the StartUp podcast.
Jon Mooallem 与 Alex Blumberg 交谈，这些天您可能在 StartUp 播客上听到过他的声音。
You can read Jon's full account of the American hippopotamus, including everything about the crazy rivalry between Fred Burnham and Fritz Duquesne that we were not able to get into, at theativist.com.
您可以在 theativist.com 上阅读乔恩对美国河马的完整描述，包括有关弗雷德·伯纳姆和弗里茨·杜肯之间疯狂竞争的所有内容，但我们无法深入了解。
It's also available on amazon.com as an ebook.
它也可以在 amazon.com 上以电子书形式获得。
Act 4, Start Me Up.
第四幕，让我起来。
When comedian Tig Notaro was in sixth grade, she took this music class, and it was the kind of class where they would talk about Beethoven and The Who.
当喜剧演员蒂格·诺塔罗（Tig Notaro）六年级时，她参加了这门音乐课，这是一种他们会谈论贝多芬和谁人乐队的课程。
And they would play instruments, and they read books.
他们会演奏乐器，也会读书。
She described what happened in that class in front of a live audience at Largo in Los Angeles.
她在洛杉矶拉戈的现场观众面前描述了那堂课上发生的事情。
It was so much fun.
太有趣了。
I just-- I loved it.
我只是——我喜欢它。
I was a huge Beatles and Rolling Stones fan.
我是披头士乐队和滚石乐队的超级粉丝。
And at the end of every class, the teacher would let one kid play their favorite song for the whole class to hear.
每节课结束时，老师都会让一个孩子播放他们最喜欢的歌曲给全班同学听。
And I always brought in Beatles and Rolling Stones albums.
我总是带来披头士乐队和滚石乐队的专辑。
And the coolest kid in our entire school, JD-- of course-- he came up to me after school one day, and he said, if I bring in my dad's Rolling Stones album, will you tell me a cool song to play?
当然，我们全校最酷的孩子 JD 有一天放学后找到我，他说，如果我带我爸爸的滚石乐队专辑，你能告诉我一首很酷的歌曲吗？
I said, absolutely.
我说，绝对。
No doubt.
无疑。
Next day, he brought in the Rolling Stones album Let it Bleed.
第二天，他带来了滚石乐队的专辑《Let it Bleed》。
I looked it over.
我仔细看了一遍。
I said, this song.
我说，这首歌。
Play this one.
玩这个吧
And I pointed at "You Can't Always Get What You Want."
我指出“你不可能总是得到你想要的”。
He said, are you sure?
他说，你确定吗？
I was like, I couldn't be more positive.
我当时想，我不能更积极了。
This is the coolest song that you could possibly play.
这是你能演奏的最酷的歌曲。
And he was like, OK.
他说，好吧。
So the teacher asked if anyone had a song.
于是老师就问有没有人有一首歌。
And JD raised his hand.
JD举起了手。
She called him up to the front.
她叫他到前面去。
He pointed out that song.
他指出那首歌。
And at that point, this is what the entire classroom heard.
就在这时，整个教室都听到了这样的声音。
[MUSIC - "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT" BY THE ROLLING STONES]
[音乐 - 滚石乐队的“你不能总是得到你想要的”]
JD was furious.
JD很生气。
He's looking at me like, what is this?
他看着我，好像在问，这是什么？
And I'm like frantically signing, no, no, no, this is an amazing song.
我就像疯狂地签名，不，不，不，这是一首很棒的歌曲。
It gets better.
情况会变得更好。
[MUSIC - "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT" BY THE ROLLING STONES]
[音乐 - 滚石乐队的“你不能总是得到你想要的”]
And then the bell rang.
然后铃声响了。
Nobody got to hear any more of that song.
没有人能再听到那首歌了。
And the coolest kid in school just marched down there, grabbed his record, and turned to me and was like, thanks a lot, and then just bolted out of the classroom.
学校里最酷的孩子就大步走到那里，抓起他的唱片，转向我，说，非常感谢，然后就冲出了教室。
I was like, no!
我当时想，不！
It gets better!
它变得更好了！
And I guess you can't always get what you want.
我猜你不可能总是得到你想要的。
Tig Notaro, her latest comedy albums and her podcast, Professor Blastoff , are at her website, tignation.com.
Tig Notaro、她最新的喜剧专辑和播客Professor Blastoff 均位于她的网站tignation.com 上。
[MUSIC - "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT" BY THE ROLLING STONES]
[音乐 - 滚石乐队的“你不能总是得到你想要的”]
Act 5, Happy Accident.
第五幕，快乐的意外。
Etgar Keret always had a good relationship with his dad, except for one thing.
Etgar Keret 和他父亲的关系一直很好，除了一件事。
This story is true.
这个故事是真实的。
It all happens in Israel, where Etgar lives, and was read for us in English translation by actor Michael Chernus.
这一切都发生在埃特加居住的以色列，演员迈克尔·切尔努斯为我们朗读了英文翻译。
"30 years I'm a cabbie," the small guy sitting behind the wheel tells me.
“我当出租车司机已有 30 年了，”坐在方向盘后面的小个子告诉我。
"30 years and not one accident." It's been almost an hour since I got into his taxi in Beersheba, and he hasn't stopped talking for a second.
“30年，没有发生过一起事故。”自从我在贝尔谢巴坐上他的出租车已经快一个小时了，他却没有停止过说话。
Under different circumstances, I would tell them him to shut up, but I don't have the energy for that today.
在不同的情况下，我会让他们闭嘴，但我今天没有精力这样做。
Under different circumstances, I wouldn't shell out 350 shekels to take a taxi to Tel Aviv.
在不同的情况下，我不会花 350 谢克尔乘坐出租车去特拉维夫。
I would take the train.
我会坐火车。
But today I feel that I have to get home as early as I can.
但今天我觉得我必须尽早回家。
I spent last night at Ichilov Hospital with my wife.
昨晚我和妻子在伊奇洛夫医院度过。
She had a miscarriage and was bleeding heavily.
她流产了，流血过多。
We thought it would be OK, till she passed out.
我们以为一切都会好起来的，直到她昏倒了。
It wasn't until we got to the emergency room that they told us that her life was in danger and gave her a blood transfusion.
直到到达急诊室，他们才告诉我们她有生命危险，并给她输血。
Three days before that, my dad's doctors told me and my parents that the cancer at the base of his tongue, which had been in remission for four years, was back.
三天前，我父亲的医生告诉我和我的父母，他的舌根癌已经缓解了四年，现在又复发了。
And the tumor was at such an advanced stage that the only way to fight it was to remove his tongue and larynx.
而且肿瘤已经到了晚期，对抗肿瘤的唯一方法就是切除他的舌头和喉部。
The oncologist said she didn't recommend having the surgery, but my dad said that he was for it.
肿瘤科医生说她不建议进行手术，但我爸爸说他赞成。
The oncologist told him that the operation would leave him seriously handicapped, unable to speak or eat.
肿瘤科医生告诉他，手术将使他严重残疾，无法说话或进食。
"At my age," my dad said, "all I need are my heart and my eyes so I can enjoy watching my grandchildren grow."
“在我这个年纪，”我父亲说，“我所需要的只是我的心和我的眼睛，这样我就可以享受看着我的孙子们成长。”
When we left the room, the doctor whispered to me, "Try to talk to him." She clearly doesn't know my dad.
当我们离开房间时，医生低声对我说：“试着和他谈谈。”她显然不认识我父亲。
The taxi driver repeats, for the 100th time, that in 30 years, he hasn't had a single accident and that all of a sudden, five days ago, his car kissed the bumper of the car in front of him, traveling at 20 kilometers per hour.
出租车司机第100次重复说，30年来，他没有发生过一起事故，五天前，他的车突然撞到了前面那辆车的保险杠，并以每小时20公里的速度行驶。
When they stopped and checked, he saw that except for a scratch on the left side of the bumper, the other car hadn't really been damaged at all.
当他们停下来检查时，他发现另一辆车除了保险杠左侧有划痕外，并没有受到任何真正的损坏。
He offered the other driver 200 shekels on the spot.
他当场向另一名司机支付了200谢克尔。
But the driver insisted that they exchange insurance information.
但司机坚持要求他们交换保险信息。
The next day, the driver, a Russian, asked him to come to a garage.
第二天，司机是一位俄罗斯人，请他去车库。
And he and the owner, probably a friend of his, showed him a huge dent all the way on the other side of the car and said the damage was 2,000 shekels.
他和车主（可能是他的朋友）向他展示了汽车另一侧的一个巨大凹痕，并表示损失达 2,000 谢克尔。
The cab driver refused to pay, and now the other guy's insurance company was suing him.
出租车司机拒绝付款，现在另一个人的保险公司正在起诉他。
"Don't worry, it'll be OK," I tell him, in the hope that my words will make him stop talking for a minute.
“别担心，不会有事的，”我告诉他，希望我的话能让他暂时停止说话。
"How will it be OK?" he complains.
“怎么会好呢？”他抱怨道。
"They're going to screw me.
“他们会搞砸我的。
Those bastards are going to squeeze the money out of me.
这些混蛋会榨干我的钱。
You see how unfair it is?
你看这有多么不公平吗？
Five days I haven't slept.
我已经五天没有睡觉了。
Do you get what I'm saying?"
你明白我在说什么吗？”
"Stop thinking about it," I suggest.
“别再想了，”我建议道。
"Try thinking about other things in your life, happy things."
“试着想想生活中的其他事情，快乐的事情。”
"I can't," the cab driver groans and grimaces.
“我不能，”出租车司机呻吟着，做了个鬼脸。
"I just can't."
“我就是做不到。”
"Then stop talking to me about it," I say.
“那就别再跟我谈论这件事了，”我说。
"Keep on thinking and suffering, but just don't tell me about it anymore, OK?"
“继续思考和痛苦，但不要再告诉我了，好吗？”
"It's not the money," the taxi driver continues, "believe me.
“这不是钱的问题，”出租车司机继续说道，“相信我。
Yesterday I went with my son to the graves of the Sadikim.
昨天我和儿子一起去了萨迪金人的坟墓。
We bought blessings for 1,800 shekels, and I didn't mind paying.
我们花了1800谢克尔买了祝福，我不介意付钱。
It's the injustice that gets me."
让我受不了的是不公正。”
"Shut up," I say, finally losing it.
“闭嘴，”我说，终于失去了理智。
"Just shut up for a minute!"
“你就闭嘴一分钟吧！”
"What are you yelling for?" the cab driver asks, insulted.
“你喊什么？”出租车司机问道，语气受到侮辱。
"I'm an old man.
“我是一个老人。
It's not nice."
这不太好。”
"I'm yelling because my father is going to die if they don't cut his tongue out of his mouth," I continue to yell.
“我大喊大叫，因为如果他们不把他的舌头从嘴里割下来，我父亲就会死，”我继续大喊。
"I'm yelling because my wife is in the hospital after a miscarriage." The driver is silent for the first time since I got into his taxi.
“我大喊大叫是因为我的妻子流产后住院了。”自从我上了他的出租车以来，司机第一次沉默了。
And now I'm suddenly the one who can't stop the stream of words.
现在我突然变成了一个无法停止言语的人。
"Let's make a deal," I say.
“我们来做个交易吧，”我说。
"Get me to an ATM, and I'll take out 2,000 shekels and give it to you.
“带我去 ATM 机，我取出 2000 谢克尔给你。
In exchange, it'll be your father who has to have his tongue removed and your wife who's lying in a hospital bed getting a blood transfusion after a miscarriage."
作为交换，你的父亲将不得不被切除舌头，而你的妻子将在流产后躺在医院的病床上接受输血。”
The driver is still silent, and now so am I.
司机依然沉默，我也沉默了。
I feel a little uncomfortable for having shouted at him but not uncomfortable enough to apologize.
我对他大喊大叫感到有点不舒服，但还没有不舒服到道歉。
To avoid his eyes, I look out the window.
为了避开他的目光，我看向窗外。
We missed the exit to Tel Aviv.
我们错过了前往特拉维夫的出口。
I tell him that politely-- or I shouted angrily, I don't recall anymore.
我礼貌地告诉他——或者我愤怒地喊道，我已经不记得了。
He tells me not to worry.
他告诉我不要担心。
He doesn't really know the way, but in a minute, he'll find out.
他确实不认识路，但过一会儿他就会找到的。
A few seconds later, he parks in the right lane of the highway after managing to convince another driver to stop.
几秒钟后，他在设法说服另一名司机停车后，将车停在高速公路的右车道。
He starts to get out of the taxi to ask for directions to Tel Aviv.
他开始下出租车询问去特拉维夫的路线。
"You'll kill us both," I tell him.
“你会杀了我们两个，”我告诉他。
"You can't stop here."
“你不能停在这里。”
"30 years I'm a cabbie," he tosses back at me as he gets out of the taxi.
“我当出租车司机已有 30 年了，”他下了出租车，对我说道。
"30 years and not one accident."
“30年，没有发生过一起事故。”
Alone in the cab, I can feel the tears rising.
独自一人在驾驶室里，我能感觉到泪水在流淌。
I don't want to cry.
我不想哭。
I don't want to feel sorry for myself.
我不想为自己感到难过。
I want to be positive like my dad.
我想像我爸爸一样积极乐观。
My wife is fine now, and we already have a wonderful son.
我的妻子现在很好，我们已经有了一个很棒的儿子。
My dad survived the Holocaust.
我父亲在大屠杀中幸存下来。
That's not just the half-full glass, it's an overflowing one.
这不仅仅是半满的杯子，而是满溢的杯子。
I don't want to cry, not in this taxi, not next to this driver that I yelled at.
我不想哭，不是在这辆出租车里，也不是在我对着大喊大叫的司机旁边。
The tears are welling up and will soon begin to flow.
泪水正在涌出，很快就会流下来。
Suddenly I hear a crashing boom and the sound of windows breaking.
突然，我听到一声巨响和窗户破碎的声音。
The world around me shatters.
我周围的世界支离破碎。
A silver car veers across the next lane, completely smashed.
一辆银色汽车转向旁边的车道，完全被撞坏了。
The taxi moves too, but not on the ground.
出租车也会移动，但不在地面上。
It floats above it, towards the concrete wall on the side of the road.
它漂浮在它上面，朝向路边的混凝土墙。
After it hits, there's another bang.
击中之后，又是一声巨响。
Another car must have hit the taxi.
一定是另一辆车撞上了出租车。
A second before the ambulance drives away, they load the taxi driver into it.
救护车开走前一秒，他们将出租车司机抬上车。
Deep in my heart, I was hoping they'd send us in separate ambulances, but it just wasn't my day.
在我内心深处，我希望他们能用不同的救护车送我们，但那不是我的日子。
The driver, looking revitalized and happy, lights a cigarette.
司机点了一根烟，看上去精神焕发，很高兴。
The paramedic wears a yarmulke and tells me I was very lucky.
护理人员戴着圆顶小帽，告诉我我很幸运。
An accident like that with no deaths is a miracle.
这样的事故没有造成人员伤亡，堪称奇迹。
"The minute you're discharged from the hospital," he says, "you should run to the nearest synagogue and give thanks for still being alive." My cellphone rings.
“出院那一刻，”他说，“你应该跑到最近的犹太教堂，感谢自己还活着。”我的手机响了。
It's my dad.
这是我爸爸。
He's only calling to ask how my day at the university was and whether the little one is asleep yet.
他打电话只是想问我在大学的日子过得怎么样，孩子睡了没有。
I tell him that the little one is sleeping and my day at the university was great.
我告诉他，小家伙正在睡觉，我在大学的一天过得很愉快。
And Shira, my wife, is fine, too.
我的妻子希拉也很好。
She just stepped into the shower.
她刚刚走进淋浴间。
"What's that noise?" he asks.
“那是什么声音？”他问道。
"An ambulance siren," I tell him.
“救护车警报器，”我告诉他。
I try to sound casual.
我试着让自己听起来很随意。
"One just passed by on the street."
“有个人刚刚在街上路过。”
Once, five years ago when I was in Sicily with my wife and son, I called my dad to ask how he was.
五年前，有一次，当我与妻子和儿子在西西里岛时，我打电话给我父亲，询问他怎么样。
He said everything was fine.
他说一切都很好。
In the background, a voice on a loudspeaker was calling a Dr. Shulman to the operating room.
在背景中，扩音器里有一个声音正在呼唤舒尔曼医生到手术室。
"Where are you?" I asked.
“你在哪里？”我问。
"In the supermarket," my dad said without a moment's hesitation.
“在超市。”爸爸毫不犹豫地说。
"They're announcing on the loudspeaker that someone lost her purse." He sounded so convincing when he said that, so confident and happy.
“他们用扩音器宣布有人丢了钱包。”他说这句话的时候听起来是那么的有说服力，那么的自信和快乐。
"Why are you crying?" my dad asks now from the other side of the line.
“你为什么哭？”我爸爸现在在电话的另一边问道。
I force myself to smile, hoping he can sense it, too.
我强迫自己微笑，希望他也能感觉到。
"It's nothing," I say as the ambulance stops next to the emergency ward and the paramedic slams the ambulance doors open.
“没什么，”我说，救护车停在急诊室旁边，护理人员砰地一声打开了救护车门。
"Really, it's nothing."
“真的，没什么。”
Ira Glass Michael Chernus, reading a story by Etgar Keret.
艾拉·格拉斯·迈克尔·切努斯 (Ira Glass Michael Chernus) 正在阅读埃特加·凯雷特 (Etgar Keret) 的故事。
Etgar's most recent book is Suddenly a Knock on the Door.
埃特加的最新著作是《突然有人敲门》。
[MUSIC - "HOW ARE YOU DOING" BY THE LIVING SISTERS"]
[音乐 - 活着的姐妹的“你好吗”]
Well, our program was produced today by Miki Meek and myself with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sean Cole, Sarah Koenig, Jonathan Menjivar, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由米基·米克（Miki Meek）和我本人以及亚历克斯·布伦伯格（Alex Blumberg）、本·卡尔霍恩（Ben Calhoun）、肖恩·科尔（Sean Cole）、莎拉·科尼格（Sarah Koenig）、乔纳森·门吉瓦（Jonathan Menjivar）、布莱恩·里德（Brian Reed）、罗宾·塞米恩（Robyn Semien）、艾丽莎·希普（Alissa Shipp）和南希·厄普代克（Nancy Updike）共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Simon Adler.
西蒙·阿德勒 (Simon Adler) 提供制作帮助。
Seth Lind is our operations director.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的运营总监。
Emily Condon's our production manager.
艾米丽·康登是我们的生产经理。
Elise Bergerson's our office manager.
埃莉斯·伯格森是我们的办公室经理。
Adrianne Mathiowetz runs our website.
阿德琳娜·马修韦茨 (Adrianne Mathiowetz) 负责运营我们的网站。
Research help today from Michelle Harris and Julie Beer.
米歇尔·哈里斯 (Michelle Harris) 和朱莉·比尔 (Julie Beer) 今天为研究提供了帮助。
Music help today from Damien Graef, from Rob Geddis.
今天的音乐由达米恩·格雷夫 (Damien Graef) 和罗布·格迪斯 (Rob Geddis) 提供帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
[致谢] 我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 向公共广播电台播出。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。