51: Animals Die, People Ponder - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #51 | January 24, 1997 51: Animals Die, People Ponder Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 51 集 | 1997 年 1 月 24 日 51：动物死亡，人们沉思 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass It's delicate.
序言 Ira Glass 很精致。
It's beautiful.
很美丽。
Sandy pulls out a handwritten page that's maybe three inches by five, tiny, black, perfect letters with brilliant orange and blue highlights on thin parchment.
桑迪拿出一张手写的纸，大约三英寸乘五英寸，薄薄的羊皮纸上有微小的黑色完美字母，带有明亮的橙色和蓝色亮点。
Look at how thin this is.
看看这有多薄。
Ira Glass This is a page from another book--
艾拉·格拉斯 这是另一本书的一页——
This is a page from a 13th century Parisian Bible.
这是 13 世纪巴黎圣经中的一页。
And there are hundreds, thousands of these.
而且有成百上千个这样的。
It was the required book for the University of Paris.
这是巴黎大学的必读书籍。
There were thousands and thousands of students and professors at the University of Paris over several centuries.
几个世纪以来，巴黎大学有成千上万的学生和教授。
And what's really amazing about it is that the writing is in two columns, and it looks too small to actually have been written by a human hand.
真正令人惊奇的是，它的字迹是两栏的，而且看起来太小，不可能是人手写的。
They invented eyeglasses in the 13th century.
他们在13世纪发明了眼镜。
Sandy is Sandy Hindman, director of an art gallery across from the Louvre that sells Medieval and Renaissance manuscripts, head of the art history department at Northwestern University.
桑迪是桑迪·欣德曼（Sandy Hindman），卢浮宫对面一家出售中世纪和文艺复兴手稿的美术馆馆长，西北大学艺术史系主任。
The reason she knows so much about manuscripts, she tells me, is that she doesn't know anything about anything else.
她告诉我，她之所以对手稿如此了解，是因为她对其他事情一无所知。
So they're written all-- like, all, 99.9% of the manuscripts of the Middle Ages are written on parchment.
所以它们都是写在羊皮纸上的，就像99.9%的中世纪手稿都是写在羊皮纸上的。
And parchment is animal skin.
羊皮纸是动物的皮。
Animal skin.
动物皮。
Cows, goats, cats.
牛、山羊、猫。
And in the case of the delicate perfect page that she showed me, probably--
就她向我展示的精致完美的页面而言，可能——
This would be, like, a rat.
这就像一只老鼠。
If you take a whole rat, like this big, sort of the size of what--
如果你拿一整只老鼠，像这么大，大概有什么大小——
You're holding your hands about a foot apart.
你们握着双手，相距一英尺。
--a foot apart, and you skin it, that makes a bifolium, which is two of these pages.
——相隔一英尺，剥皮，就形成了双叶，也就是其中的两页。
So that's what you would get.
这就是你会得到的。
And then you'd have to get 600 of those animals to get a book.
然后你必须得到 600 只这样的动物才能得到一本书。
So we're thinking 600 rats, 600 cats, maybe.
所以我们认为可能有 600 只老鼠，600 只猫。
Or squirrels or cats.
或者松鼠或猫。
The idea of cats has come up recently because they found all these cat bones, like a mound of cat bones, like a huge mound, like a burial site of cat bones right near the Seine where all the book-- where all the little book shops are now on the Seine, that's exactly where they were in the 15th century.
猫的想法是最近才出现的，因为他们发现了所有这些猫骨头，就像一堆猫骨头，像一个巨大的土堆，就像塞纳河附近的一个猫骨头埋葬地，所有的书——所有的小书店现在都在塞纳河上，那正是15世纪的地方。
Looking at these manuscripts with Sandy, I was really struck by just how complete our dominion is over the animal world, you know?
和桑迪一起看这些手稿，我真的很惊讶我们对动物世界的统治是多么完整，你知道吗？
That we could slaughter 300 cats or squirrels or rats or anything just to make this one little, little book.
我们可以宰杀 300 只猫、松鼠、老鼠或其他任何东西，只为了制作这本小书。
Now an eighth century book, like The Book of Kells, they say represented a herd of cattle.
现在一本八世纪的书，比如《凯尔经》，他们说代表了一群牛。
A Gutenberg Bible, like the first book ever printed is called the Gutenberg Bible, because he invented printing in 1452.
古腾堡圣经，就像有史以来第一本印刷的书一样，被称为古腾堡圣经，因为他在 1452 年发明了印刷术。
So a Gutenberg Bible, each of those was a herd of cattle.
所以一本古腾堡圣经，每一本都是一群牛。
I think, what would Norman Mailer do, you know?
我想，诺曼·梅勒会怎么做，你知道吗？
Or David Foster Wallace, what would they do if a couple paragraphs, four paragraphs maybe, you can fit on these tiny pages, if that required the death of, you know, a cow or a cat for every single copy of one of their books?
或者大卫·福斯特·华莱士（David Foster Wallace），如果几段，也许四段，你可以放在这些小页面上，如果这需要，你知道，他们的每一本书的每一本都要死一头牛或一只猫，他们会怎么做？
You know, it's no wonder that most of the books back then were religious.
要知道，难怪当时的书籍大多都是宗教性的。
What human writing could seem worth it?
什么样的人类写作看起来值得呢？
What do we know, if anything, about attitudes in the Middle Ages towards killing off that many animals?
如果有的话，我们对中世纪对于捕杀这么多动物的态度了解多少？
I mean, I don't know anything really.
我的意思是，我真的什么都不知道。
I mean, my guess would be that since there are tons of colophons, that is, little inscriptions in the back, saying "Oh, I'm so pleased to have done this for you, God.
我的意思是，我的猜测是，因为背面有大量的版权页，即小铭文，上面写着“哦，我很高兴能为你做这件事，上帝。
This was wonderful.
这太棒了。
It was worth all the time." So probably they thought that it was great for the animal too.
这一切都是值得的。”所以他们可能认为这对动物也有好处。
The animal was serving God just like they were by being in a book.
动物正在侍奉上帝，就像它们在书中一样。
Faced with the fact of our sheer dominion over animals, there are only a few attitudes possible, really.
面对我们对动物的绝对统治这一事实，实际上，只有几种可能的态度。
Guilt, indifference, or piety.
内疚、冷漠或虔诚。
Which brings us to today's program.
这就引出了今天的节目。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life .
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our show, animals, people, death, and God.
今天在我们的节目中，动物、人、死亡和上帝。
Act One of our program today, I'm Ferdinand, I'm Glad to Be Your Steak Tonight.
我们今天的节目第一幕，我是费迪南德，很高兴今晚成为您的牛排。
Act Two, the 400 Pound CEO, which is this amazing and funny and-- this is a story I just love by George Saunders.
第二幕，体重 400 磅的首席执行官，这真是令人惊奇又有趣——这是我非常喜欢乔治·桑德斯写的一个故事。
Act Three, Dead Animal Man.
第三幕，动物之死。
Act Four, Redemption.
第四幕，救赎。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One.
第一幕。
What do we choose to believe about the sacrifices that animals make for us?
对于动物为我们做出的牺牲，我们选择相信什么？
Well, Jay Allison came up with this answer to that question.
好吧，杰伊·艾利森（Jay Allison）对这个问题给出了答案。
When they came off of the ark, before they would disperse, remember, he said, God said to him, "Every beast of the field and fowl of the air shall become food unto you from this day on."
当他们离开方舟，在他们散去之前，他说，请记住，上帝对他说：“从今天起，田野的走兽和空中的飞鸟都将成为你们的食物。”
A friend of mine, a classical pianist I know, had a dream that he was sleeping in his own room when something woke him up.
我的一个朋友，我认识的一位古典钢琴家，做了一个梦，梦见自己正在自己的房间里睡觉，突然有东西把他吵醒了。
Gathering at the foot of his bed was every animal he had ever even.
他的床脚下聚集着他养过的所有动物。
They were just looking at him, breathing quietly.
他们只是看着他，静静地呼吸着。
They pushed in closer and closer around his bed as more kept coming.
他们在他的床边越推越近，更多的人不断涌来。
Then when the room was full, the ones that came first started to file out through the bathroom door.
当房间挤满了人时，先到的人开始从浴室的门里鱼贯而出。
And for the rest of the dream, each animal in turn simply paused by my friend's bed, looked at him, and passed on by to make room for the next one.
在梦的其余部分，每只动物都轮流停在我朋友的床边，看着他，然后走过去，为下一只动物腾出空间。
I went to the slaughterhouses and I went out to the cattle ranches and places like that.
我去了屠宰场，还去了养牛场之类的地方。
And I talked to the animals, because I wanted to know if this was a really traumatic thing.
我和动物们交谈，因为我想知道这是否真的是一件令人痛苦的事情。
It's like, I experience what the animal experiences.
就像，我经历了动物所经历的。
It's a vicarious experience.
这是一种替代体验。
I feel their emotions.
我感受到他们的情绪。
I think their thoughts.
我想他们的想法。
I literally become that animal.
我真的变成了那种动物。
They show me what they look at, and what they see in life.
他们向我展示他们所看到的以及他们在生活中所看到的。
And then I see it as they perceive it.
然后我就按照他们的看法来看待它。
That door slides up.
那扇门滑动起来。
They come in here, and we kill them here.
他们来到这里，我们就在这里杀死他们。
We lift this gate here, then the animal rolls out down here, and we put a chain around her leg.
我们把这里的门打开，然后动物滚下来，我们把一条链子套在她的腿上。
We use this chain the, put it right around her leg, a hind leg and pick them up.
我们用这条链子，把它绕在她的腿上，一条后腿上，然后把它们捡起来。
So when I was there and I asked them how they felt, and they said they didn't mind giving their life for a purpose.
所以当我在那里时，我问他们感觉如何，他们说他们不介意为了一个目标而献出自己的生命。
And I watched the ones that were lifted upside down, where they tie them up by the back legs and then they slit the throat and the animal dies.
我看着那些被倒挂起来的动物，他们把它们的后腿绑起来，然后割断喉咙，动物就死了。
We roll them over here and cut their throat, let the blood out of them.
我们把他们滚过来，割断他们的喉咙，放掉他们的血。
They bleed to death.
他们失血过多而死。
Well, I stood there and watched it, because I had to know if this was cruel.
好吧，我站在那里看着它，因为我必须知道这是否残酷。
And those animals felt a lot of pain, but it was only like 30 seconds.
而那些动物也感受到了很大的痛苦，但也只有三十秒左右的时间。
And then, because they were upside down, all the organs pushed towards it.
然后，因为它们是上下颠倒的，所有的器官都被推向它。
They cut off the blood supply.
他们切断了血液供应。
And the animals, when they actually had their throats cut, they were numb.
而那些动物，当它们的喉咙真正被割断时，它们已经麻木了。
Roll them on across, lay them down in the cradles.
将它们滚过，放在摇篮上。
Take their legs off, pick them up, and eviscerate them, split them down in the back then.
把他们的腿砍下来，捡起来，掏出内脏，然后从后面劈开。
Gives us two halves.
给我们两半。
People say, "Oh, I couldn't see an animal die." Well, most of those animals wouldn't even live if it hadn't been for the fact that they were going to be raised for food.
人们说：“哦，我不能看到动物死去。”好吧，如果不是为了食物而饲养的话，大多数动物甚至都无法生存。
They wouldn't have even been born.
他们甚至都不会出生。
And they're rolled out into the cutting room and cut up into steaks, roasts, ground beef, then wrapped.
它们被卷入切割室，切成牛排、烤肉、碎牛肉，然后包裹起来。
Each package is labeled, and then we put it in the freezer.
每个包裹都贴有标签，然后我们将其放入冰箱。
You know, the animals tell me, most of the ones that are raised for food are raised very humanely.
你知道，动物们告诉我，大多数为了食物而饲养的动物都是非常人道地饲养的。
They're given the best of food, they're given the best of care.
他们得到最好的食物，得到最好的照顾。
But they told me, no, that they felt that this was a purpose in life they were fulfilling.
但他们告诉我，不，他们觉得这是他们正在实现的人生目标。
And they understood it, and they accepted the role because they were not afraid to die.
他们理解这一点，并且接受了这个角色，因为他们不怕死。
I don't believe that they know what's going on, really.
我不相信他们真的知道发生了什么事。
Jay Allison, who did that story is the producer of Life Stories with his wife Christina Egloff.
杰伊·艾利森（Jay Allison）是该故事的作者，他与妻子克里斯蒂娜·埃格洛夫（Christina Egloff）共同制作了《生活故事》（Life Stories）。
Act Two, The 400 Pound CEO.
第二幕，400磅的首席执行官。
Well, animals and the death of animals are not the main point of this next story, but they do help define the moral universe of the story.
好吧，动物和动物的死亡不是下一个故事的重点，但它们确实有助于定义故事的道德世界。
This is a story by George Saunders.
这是乔治·桑德斯的故事。
A quick warning.
快速警告。
There is nothing explicit, there's no nasty language, nothing like that in this story.
这个故事中没有任何明确的内容，没有令人讨厌的语言，没有类似的内容。
But, but, but, some references and ideas might not be suitable for some children.
但是，但是，但是，有些参考资料和想法可能不适合某些孩子。
At noon, another load of raccoons comes in, and Claude takes them out back of the office and executes them with a tire iron.
中午，又一批浣熊进来，克劳德把它们带出办公室后面，用轮胎熨斗处决了它们。
Then he checks for vitals wearing protective gloves.
然后他戴着防护手套检查生命体征。
Then he drags the cage across 209 and initiates burial by dumping the raccoons into the pit that's our little corporate secret.
然后他把笼子拖过 209 号，将浣熊扔进坑里开始埋葬，这是我们公司的小秘密。
After burial comes prayer, a personal touch that never fails to irritate Tim, our ruthless CEO.
葬礼之后就是祈祷，这种个人风格总是会激怒我们无情的首席执行官蒂姆。
Before founding Humane Raccoon Alternatives, Tim purposely backed his car over a frat boy and got 10 to 12 for manslaughter.
在创立 Humane Raccoon Alternatives 之前，蒂姆故意倒车撞倒一名兄弟会男孩，结果因过失杀人罪被罚 10 比 12。
In jail, he earned his MBA by designing and marketing a line of light-up Halloween lapel broaches.
在监狱里，他通过设计和营销一系列发光万圣节翻领胸针获得了 MBA 学位。
Now he gives us the broaches as performance incentives and sporadically trashes a bookshelf or two to remind us of his awesome temper and of how ill-advised we'd be to cross him in any way whatsoever.
现在，他给我们胸针作为绩效奖励，并时不时地扔掉一两个书架，以提醒我们他的脾气很糟糕，以及我们以任何方式惹恼他是多么不明智。
Post-burial, I write up the invoices and a paragraph or two on how overjoyed the raccoons were when we set them free.
埋葬后，我写下了发票和一两段文字，讲述浣熊被释放时的欣喜若狂。
Sometimes I'll throw in something about spontaneous mating beneath the box elders.
有时我会在盒子长老下面加入一些关于自发交配的内容。
No one writes a better misleading letter than me.
没有人比我写出更好的误导性信了。
In the area of phone inquiries, I'm also unsurpassed.
在电话咨询方面，我也是无与伦比的。
When a client calls to ask how their release went, everyone in the office falls all over themselves transferring the call to me.
当一位客户打电话询问他们的释放进展如何时，办公室里的每个人都忙着把电话转给我。
I'm reassuring and joyful.
我很安心，也很高兴。
I laugh until tears run down my face at the stories I make up regarding the wacky things their raccoon did upon gaining its freedom.
当我编造关于他们的浣熊在获得自由后所做的古怪事情的故事时，我笑得泪流满面。
Then, as per Tim, I ask if they'd mind sending back our promotional materials.
然后，按照蒂姆的说法，我问他们是否介意寄回我们的宣传材料。
The brochures don't come cheap.
这些小册子并不便宜。
They show glossies of raccoons in the wild contrasted with glossies of poisoned raccoons in their death throes.
它们展示了野生浣熊的光泽与垂死挣扎时中毒浣熊的光泽形成鲜明对比。
You lay that on a housewife with perennially knocked-over trash cans and she breathes a sigh of relief.
如果你把它放在一个经常被打翻垃圾桶的家庭主妇身上，她就会松一口气。
Then she hires you and you get a 10% commission.
然后她雇用了你，你得到 10% 的佣金。
These days, commissions are my main joy.
如今，佣金是我的主要乐趣。
I'm too large to attract female company.
我太大了，无法吸引女性陪伴。
I weigh 400.
我体重400。
I don't like it, but it's beyond my control.
我不喜欢它，但这超出了我的控制范围。
I've tried running and rowing the stationary canoe and Hatha yoga and belly staples and even a muzzle back in the dark days when I had it bad for Frieda, our document placement and retrieval specialist.
我尝试过跑步、划固定独木舟、哈他瑜伽、腹部钉书针，甚至在黑暗的日子里，当我对我们的文档放置和检索专家弗里达（Frieda）感到不舒服时，我尝试过使用枪口。
When I was merely portly, it was easy to see myself as a kind of exuberant sportsman who overate out of lust for life.
当我还很胖的时候，很容易把自己视为一个精力旺盛的运动员，因为对生活的渴望而暴饮暴食。
Now, no one could possibly mistake me for a sportsman.
现在，没有人会误认为我是一名运动员。
When I've finished invoicing, I enjoy a pecan cluster.
当我完成发票后，我喜欢一串山核桃。
Two, actually.
实际上是两个。
Claude comes in all dirty from the burial and sees me snacking and feels compelled to point out that even my sub-rolls have sub-rolls.
克劳德从葬礼中浑身脏兮兮地进来，看到我在吃零食，他觉得有必要指出，即使是我的小卷也有小卷。
He's right, but still it isn't nice to say.
他说得对，但还是不好说。
Tim asks did Claude make that observation after having wild sex with me all night?
蒂姆问克劳德是在和我狂野地做爱一整夜后做出这样的观察吗？
That's a comment I'm not fond of, but Tim's the boss.
我不喜欢这样的评论，但蒂姆是老板。
His T-shirt says, "I hold your purse strings in my hot, little hand."
他的 T 恤上写着：“我用我温暖的小手握着你的钱包。”
"Haha, Tim," says Claude.
“哈哈，蒂姆，”克劳德说。
"I'm no homo.
“我不是同性恋。
But if I was one, I'd die before doing it with Mr. Lard."
但如果我是其中之一，我会在和拉德先生做这件事之前就死掉。”
"Haha," says Tim.
“哈哈，”蒂姆说。
"Good one.
“好一个。
Isn't that a good one, Jeffrey?"
这不是一件好事吗，杰弗里？”
"That's a good one," I say glumly.
“这很好，”我闷闷不乐地说。
What a bitter little office.
多么苦涩的小办公室啊。
My colleagues leave hippo refrigerator magnets on my seat.
我的同事把河马冰箱贴放在我的座位上。
They imply that I'm a despondent virgin, which I'm not.
他们暗示我是一个沮丧的处女，但我不是。
They might change their tune if they ever spoke with Ellen Burtomly regarding the beautiful night we spent at her brother Bob's cottage.
如果他们与埃伦·伯托利谈论我们在她哥哥鲍勃小屋度过的美好夜晚，他们可能会改变态度。
I was by no means slim then but could at least buy pants off the rack and walk from the den to the kitchen without panting.
那时我一点也不苗条，但至少可以买现成的裤子，然后从书房走到厨房而不会气喘吁吁。
I remember her nude at the window and the lovely seed helicopters blowing in as she turned and showed me her ample front on purpose.
我记得她在窗前裸体，当她转身故意向我展示她丰满的前额时，可爱的种子直升机吹了过来。
That was my most romantic moment.
那是我最浪漫的时刻。
Now for that kind of thing, it's the degradation of Larney's Consenting Adult Viewing Center.
现在对于这类事情来说，是拉尼成人同意观看中心的退化。
Before it started getting to me, I'd bring boot-loads of quarters and a special bottom cushion and watch hours and hours of Scandinavian women romping.
在它开始影响我之前，我会带上一大堆硬币和一个特殊的底垫，并观察斯堪的纳维亚妇女的嬉戏时间。
It was shameful.
这是可耻的。
Finally, last Christmas, I said enough is enough.
最后，去年圣诞节，我说够了。
I'd rather be sexless than evil.
我宁愿无性也不愿邪恶。
And since then, I have been.
从那时起，我就一直是这样。
Sexless and good, but very, very tense.
无性也很好，但是非常非常紧张。
Since then, I've tried to live above the fray.
从那时起，我就努力生活在争吵之外。
I've tried to minimize my physical aspects and be a selfless force for good.
我试图尽量减少身体方面的影响，并成为一股无私的善良力量。
When mocked, which is nearly every day, I recall Christ covered with spittle.
当几乎每天都受到嘲笑时，我会想起基督满身唾沫。
When filled with lust, I remember Gandhi purposely sleeping next to a sexy teen to test himself.
我记得当甘地充满欲望时，他故意睡在一个性感的青少年旁边来测试自己。
After work, I go home, watch a little TV, maybe say a rosary or two.
下班后，我回家，看会儿电视，也许念一两颗念珠。
30 more years of this and I'm out of it without hurting anybody or embarrassing myself.
又过了30年，我已经摆脱了这种状态，没有伤害任何人，也没有让自己难堪。
Sadly, I find my feelings for Frieda returning.
可悲的是，我发现我对弗里达的感情又回来了。
I must have a death wish.
我一定有一个求死的愿望。
Clearly I repulse her.
显然我是排斥她的。
Sometimes I catch her looking at my gut overhangs with a screwed-up face.
有时我发现她一脸愁容地看着我突出的内脏。
I see her licking her lips while typing and certain unholy thoughts go through my head.
我看到她一边打字一边舔着嘴唇，我的脑海里闪过一些邪恶的想法。
I hear her speaking tenderly on the phone to her little son Len and can't help picturing myself sitting on a specially reinforced porch swing while she fries up some chops and Len digs in the muck.
我听到她在电话里温柔地对她的小儿子莱恩说话，不禁想象自己坐在一个特别加固的门廊秋千上，而她正在炸排骨，莱恩则在泥土里挖东西。
Today as we prepare a mailer, she says she's starting to want to be home with Len all the time.
今天，当我们准备邮件时，她说她开始想一直和莱恩呆在家里。
But there's the glaring problem of funds.
但资金问题也很突出。
She makes squat.
她蹲下。
I've seen her stub.
我见过她的存根。
There's the further problem that she suspects Mrs. Rasputin, Len's babysitter, is a lush.
还有一个更严重的问题，她怀疑莱恩的保姆拉斯普京夫人是个酒鬼。
"I don't know what to do," Frieda says.
“我不知道该怎么办，”弗里达说。
I come home after work and she's sitting there tipsy in her bra, fanning herself with a racing form.
我下班回家，她坐在胸罩里喝得醉醺醺的，用赛车的姿势给自己扇风。
Before I know what I'm saying, I suggest that perhaps we should go out for dinner and offer each other some measure of comfort.
在我明白自己在说什么之前，我建议也许我们应该出去吃晚饭，给彼此一些安慰。
In response, she spits her Tab out across her cubicle.
作为回应，她把标签吐到了她的小隔间上。
She says now she's heard it all.
她说现在她已经听到了这一切。
She goes to fetch Tim and Claude so they can join her in guffawing at my nerve.
她去叫蒂姆和克劳德，这样他们就可以和她一起嘲笑我的神经。
She faxes a comical note about my arrogance to her girlfriend at the DMV.
她给DMV 的女朋友传真了一张关于我傲慢的滑稽便条。
All afternoon, she keeps looking at me with her head cocked.
整个下午，她一直歪着头看着我。
Needless to say, it's a long day.
不用说，这是漫长的一天。
Then at 5:00, after everyone else is gone, she comes shyly by and says she'd love to go out with me.
然后在 5:00，其他人都走了之后，她害羞地走过来，说她很愿意和我出去。
She says I've always been there for her.
她说我一直在她身边。
She says she likes a man with a little meat on his bones.
她说她喜欢骨头上有点肉的男人。
She says pick her up at 8:00 and bring something for Len.
她说 8:00 来接她，并给 Len 带来一些东西。
I'm shocked.
我很震惊。
I'm overjoyed.
我高兴极了。
My knees are nearly shaking my little desk apart.
我的膝盖几乎要把我的小桌子摇散。
I buy Len a football helmet and a baseball glove and an aquarium and a set of encyclopedias.
我给莱恩买了一顶橄榄球头盔、一只棒球手套、一个水族馆和一套百科全书。
I basically clean out my pitiful savings.
我基本上清理掉了可怜的积蓄。
Who cares?
谁在乎？
It's worth it to get a chance to observe her beautiful face from across a table without Claude et al.
在没有克劳德等人的情况下，有机会隔着桌子观察她美丽的脸庞是值得的。
hooting at me.
对我大吼大叫。
When I ring her bell, someone screams, "Come in." Inside, I find Len behind the home entertainment center and Mrs. Rasputin drunkenly poring over her grade school yearbook with a highlighter.
当我按响她的门铃时，有人尖叫着：“请进来。”在里面，我发现莱恩在家庭娱乐中心后面，拉斯普京夫人醉醺醺地拿着荧光笔仔细地看着她的小学年鉴。
She looks up and says, "Where's that kid?"
她抬起头来，问道：“那个孩子在哪儿？”
I feel like saying, "How should I know?" Instead I say, "He's behind the home entertainment center."
我想说：“我怎么知道？”相反，我会说：“他在家庭娱乐中心后面。”
"He loves it back there," she says.
“他喜欢那里，”她说。
"He likes eating the lint balls.
“他喜欢吃绒球。
They won't hurt him.
他们不会伤害他。
They're like roughage."
它们就像粗粮一样。”
"Come out, Len," I say.
“出来吧，莱恩，”我说。
"I have gifts." He comes out.
“我有礼物。”他出来了。
One tiny eyebrow cocks up at my physical appearance.
看到我的外表，一根细小的眉毛扬起。
Then he crawls into my lap holding his Mega Death Dealer by the cowl.
然后他爬到我的腿上，抓住他的超级死亡经销商的兜帽。
What a sweet boy.
多么可爱的男孩啊。
The Dealer's got a severed human head in its hand.
经销商手里拿着一颗被砍下的人头。
When you pull the string, the Dealer cries, "You're dead and I've killed you, Prince of Slime," and sticks its Day-Glo tongue out.
当你拉动绳子时，经销商会喊道：“你死了，我杀了你，史莱姆王子”，然后伸出它的荧光舌头。
I give Len my anti-violence spiel.
我向莱恩发表了我的反暴力演讲。
I tell him only love can dispel hate.
我告诉他只有爱才能消除恨。
I tell him we were meant to live in harmony and give one another emotional support.
我告诉他我们应该和睦相处并互相给予情感支持。
He looks at me blankly then flings his Death Dealer at the cat.
他茫然地看着我，然后把他的死亡贩子扔向那只猫。
Frieda comes down looking sweet and casts a baleful eye on Mrs. Rasputin and away we go.
弗里达下来，看起来很可爱，恶毒地看了拉斯普京夫人一眼，然后我们就走了。
I take her to Ace's Volcano Island.
我带她去艾斯的火山岛。
Ace's is an old service station now done up Hawaiian.
Ace's 是一个古老的加油站，现在已装修成夏威夷风格。
They've got a tape loop of surf sounds and some Barbies in grass skirts climbing a paper mache mountain.
他们有一盘冲浪声的循环磁带，还有一些穿着草裙的芭比娃娃正在爬纸山。
I purposely starve myself.
我故意饿死自己。
We talk about her life philosophy.
我们谈论她的人生哲学。
We talk about her hair style and her treasured childhood memories and her paranormally gifted aunt.
我们谈论她的发型、她珍贵的童年记忆以及她具有超自然天赋的阿姨。
I fail to get a word in edgewise, and that's fine.
我没能插上一句话，但没关系。
I like listening.
我喜欢听。
I like learning about her.
我喜欢了解她。
I like putting myself in her shoes and seeing things her way.
我喜欢设身处地为她着想，以她的方式看待事物。
I walk her home.
我送她回家。
Kids in doorways whistle at my width.
门口的孩子们对着我吹口哨。
I handle it with grace by shaking my rear.
我通过摇动我的臀部来优雅地处理它。
Frieda laughs.
弗里达笑了。
A kiss seems viable.
一个吻似乎是可行的。
It all feels too good to be true.
这一切感觉好得令人难以置信。
Then on her porch, she shakes my hand and says great, she can now pay her phone bill, courtesy of Tim.
然后在她的门廊上，她握着我的手说，太好了，感谢蒂姆，她现在可以支付电话费了。
She shows me the written agreement.
她给我看了书面协议。
It says, "In consideration of your consenting to be seen in public with Jeffrey, I, Tim, will pay you, Frieda, the sum of $50."
上面写着：“考虑到你同意与杰弗里一起出现在公共场合，我蒂姆将向弗里达支付你 50 美元。”
I take a weekend vacation and play Oilcan Man nonstop.
我利用周末假期不停地玩《油罐人》。
I achieve level nine.
我达到九级了。
At the end of night three, I step outside for some air.
第三晚结束时，我走到外面呼吸新鲜空气。
Up in the sky are wild clouds that make me think of Tahiti and courageous sailors on big sinking wooden ships.
天空中狂野的云彩让我想起塔希提岛和沉没的大木船上勇敢的水手。
Meanwhile, here's me, a grown man with a joystick burn on his thumb.
与此同时，我是一个拇指被操纵杆烧伤的成年人。
So I throw the game cartridge in the trash and go back to work.
所以我把游戏卡带扔进垃圾桶，然后回去工作。
I take the ribbing, I take the abuse.
我接受嘲笑，我接受辱骂。
Someone snipped my head out of the office folder and mounted it on a bride's body.
有人从办公室文件夹中剪下我的头，并将其安装在新娘的身上。
Tim says, what the heck, the thought of the visual incongruity of our pairing was worth the $50.
蒂姆说，管他呢，想到我们配对的视觉不协调就值这 50 美元了。
"Do you hate me?" Frieda asks.
“你恨我吗？”弗里达问道。
"No," I say, "I truly enjoyed our evening together."
“不，”我说，“我真的很享受我们在一起的夜晚。”
"God, I didn't," she says.
“天哪，我没有，”她说。
"Everyone kept staring at us.
“每个人都一直盯着我们。
It made me feel bad about myself that they thought I was actually with you.
他们认为我实际上和你在一起，这让我对自己感觉很糟糕。
Do you know what I mean?" I can't think of anything to say so I nod.
你知道我的意思吗？”我想不出什么可说的，所以我点点头。
Then I retreat moist-eyed to my cubicle for some invoicing fun.
然后我眼睛湿润地回到我的小隔间里享受发票的乐趣。
I'm not a bad guy.
我不是坏人。
If only I could stop hoping.
如果我能停止希望就好了。
If only I could say to my heart, "Give up.
如果我能对自己的心说：“放弃吧。”
Be alone forever.
永远孤独一人。
There's always opera.
总有歌剧。
There's angel food cake and neighborhood children caroling and the look of autumn leaves on a wet roof." But no. My heart's some kind of idiotic fishing bobber.
有天使蛋糕和邻居孩子们的颂歌，还有湿漉漉的屋顶上秋叶的样子。”但没有。我的心是某种愚蠢的钓鱼浮子。
My invoices go very well.
我的发票进展顺利。
The sun sinks, the moon rises, brown and pale as my stupid face.
太阳落下，月亮升起，棕色而苍白，就像我愚蠢的脸一样。
I minimize my office time by volunteering for the Carlisle entrapment.
我自愿参与卡莱尔的陷阱，从而最大限度地减少了我的办公时间。
The Carlisles are rich.
卡莱尔一家很有钱。
A poor guy has a raccoon problem, he sprinkles poison in his trash and calls it a day.
一个可怜的家伙遇到了浣熊问题，他在垃圾桶里撒了毒药，然后就到此为止了。
Not the Carlisles.
不是卡莱尔一家。
They dominate bread routes throughout the city.
他们主导着整个城市的面包路线。
Carlisle supposedly strong-armed his way to the top of the bread heap, but in person, he's nice enough.
据说卡莱尔是靠武力登上了面包堆的顶端，但就他个人而言，他已经足够友善了。
I let him observe me laying out the rotten fruit.
我让他观察我摆放腐烂的水果。
I show him how the cage door coming down couldn't hurt a flea.
我向他展示如何打开笼门不会伤害跳蚤。
Then he goes inside and I wait patiently in my car.
然后他进去了，我在车里耐心地等待。
Just after midnight, I trip the wire.
午夜刚过，我就触电了。
I fetch the Carlisles and encourage them to squat down and relate to the captured raccoon.
我把卡莱尔一家叫来，鼓励他们蹲下来，与捕获的浣熊进行交流。
Then I recite our canned speech congratulating them for their advance thinking.
然后我背诵我们的演讲稿，祝贺他们的超前思维。
I describe the wilderness where the release will take place, the streams and fertile valleys, the romp in the raccoon's stride when it catches its first whiff of pristine air.
我描述了放生地点的荒野、溪流和肥沃的山谷，以及浣熊第一次呼吸到纯净空气时欢快的步伐。
Mr. Carlisle says thanks for letting him sleep at night sans guilt.
卡莱尔先生感谢您让他晚上安心睡觉。
I tell him that's my job.
我告诉他那是我的工作。
Just then, the raccoon's huge mate bolts out of the woods and tears into my calf.
就在这时，浣熊的大伴侣从树林里冲了出来，撕碎了我的小腿。
I struggle to my car and kick the mate repeated against my wheel well until it dies with my leg in its mouth.
我挣扎着走向我的车，不断地踢那个伙伴在我的轮子上，直到它把我的腿卡在嘴里死掉。
The Carlisles stand aghast in the carport.
卡莱尔一家惊愕地站在车库里。
I stand aghast in the driveway, sick at heart.
我惊愕地站在车道上，心里很难受。
I've trapped my share of raccoons and helped Claude with more burials than I care to remember, but I've never actually killed anything before.
我困住了我那份浣熊，帮助克劳德埋葬的次数多得我记不清了，但我以前从未真正杀死过任何东西。
I throw both coons in the trunk and drive myself to the emergency room, where I'm given the first of a series of extremely painful shots.
我把两只浣熊扔进后备箱，然后自己开车去急诊室，在那里我接受了一系列极其痛苦的注射中的第一针。
I doze off on a bench post-treatment and dream of a den of pathetic baby raccoons in V-neck sweaters yelping for food.
治疗后，我在长凳上打瞌睡，梦见一群穿着 V 领毛衣的可怜浣熊宝宝在尖叫着寻找食物。
When I wake up, I call in.
当我醒来时，我打电话进来。
Tim asks if I'm crazy kicking a raccoon to death in front of clients.
蒂姆问我在客户面前把浣熊踢死是不是疯了。
Couldn't I have gently lifted it off, he asks, or offered it some rotting fruit?
他问，我不能轻轻地把它抬起来，或者给它一些腐烂的水果吗？
Am I proud of my ability to screw up one-car funerals?
我是否为自己搞砸一辆车葬礼的能力感到自豪？
I tell Tim I'm truly sorry I didn't handle the situation more effectively.
我告诉蒂姆，我真的很抱歉没有更有效地处理这种情况。
He says the raccoon must've had a said last couple of minutes once it realized it had given up its life for the privilege of gnawing on a shank of pure fat.
他说，当浣熊意识到自己为了啃咬纯脂肪小腿而放弃自己的生命时，它一定在最后几分钟内经历过这样的情况。
That hurts.
很痛。
Why I continue to expect decent treatment from someone who's installed a torture chamber in the corporate basement is beyond me.
我不明白为什么我仍然期望从在公司地下室安装酷刑室的人那里得到体面的待遇。
Down there, he's got a Hide-A-Bed and a whip collection and an executioner's mask with a built-in Walkman.
在那里，他有一张隐藏床、一套鞭子收藏品和一个带有内置随身听的刽子手面具。
Sometimes when I'm invoicing late, he'll bring in one of his willing victims.
有时，当我迟交发票时，他会带来一位自愿的受害者。
Usually, they're both wasto.
通常，他们都是废物。
I get as much of me under my desk as I can.
我尽可能多地在桌子下面表达自己的想法。
Talk about the fall of man.
谈论人的堕落。
Talk about some father somewhere being crestfallen if he knew what his daughter was up to.
谈论某个地方的某个父亲如果知道他女儿在做什么，他会感到垂头丧气。
Once I peeked out as they left and saw a blonde with a black eye going wherever Tim pointed and picking up his coat whenever he purposely dropped it.
有一次，他们离开时，我向外望去，看到一个黑眼睛的金发女郎走到蒂姆指的任何地方，每当他故意掉下他的外套时，我就会捡起它。
How do people get like this?
人们怎么会变成这样呢？
I thought.
我想。
Can they change back?
他们还能变回来吗？
Can they learn again to love and be gentle?
他们能再次学会爱和温柔吗？
How can they look at themselves in the mirror or hang Christmas ornaments without overflowing with self-loathing?
他们怎样才能在照镜子或挂圣诞装饰品时不充满自我厌恶呢？
Then I thought, I may be obese, but at least I'm not cruel to the point of being satanic.
后来我想，我可能肥胖，但至少我没有残忍到撒旦的地步。
The next day, Tim was inducted into Rotary and we all went to the luncheon.
第二天，蒂姆加入扶轮社，我们一起去参加午餐会。
He spoke on turning one's life around.
他谈到了改变一个人的生活。
He spoke on the bitter lessons of incarceration.
他谈到了监禁的惨痛教训。
He sang the praises of America and joked with balding, sweetheart ophthalmologists and after lunch hung his Rotary plaque in the torture chamber stairwell and ordered me to Windex it daily or face extremely grim consequences.
他歌颂美国，与秃头的甜心眼科医生开玩笑，午饭后，他把他的扶轮牌匾挂在酷刑室的楼梯间，并命令我每天都要对其进行检查，否则将面临极其严峻的后果。
Tuesday, a car pulls up as Claude and I approach the burial pit with the Carlisle raccoons.
周二，当我和克劳德接近卡莱尔浣熊的墓坑时，一辆车停了下来。
We drag the cage into a shrub and squat, panting.
我们把笼子拖进灌木丛，气喘吁吁地蹲下来。
Claude whispers that I smell.
克劳德低声说我闻到了。
He whispers that if he weighed 400, he'd take into account that people around him and go on a diet.
他低声说，如果他的体重是 400，他会考虑到周围的人并节食。
A pale girl in a sari gets out of the car and walks to the lip of the pit.
一个穿着纱丽、面色苍白的女孩下了车，走到坑边。
She paces off the circumference and scribbles in a notebook.
她沿着圆周踱步，在笔记本上乱写乱画。
She takes photos.
她拍照。
She slides down on her rear and comes back up with some coon bones in a baggy.
她从后面滑下来，带着一些装在袋子里的浣熊骨头回来。
After she leaves, we rush back to the office.
她走后，我们就赶回办公室。
Tim's livid and starts baby-oiling his trademark blackjack.
蒂姆脸色铁青，开始给他标志性的二十一点涂婴儿油。
He says no more coons in the pit until further notice.
他说，在另行通知之前，坑里不再有浣熊了。
He says we're hereby in crisis mode and will keep the coons on blue ice in our cubicles and if need be, wear nose clips.
他说我们现在处于危机模式，并将把浣熊放在我们小隔间的蓝色冰上，如果需要的话，戴上鼻夹。
He says the next time she shows up, he may have to teach her a lesson about jeopardizing our meal ticket.
他说下次她出现时，他可能得给她一个教训，不要让我们的饭票受到损害。
He says animal rights are all well and good, but there's a big difference between a cute bunny or cat and a disgusting raccoon that thrives on carrion and trash and creates significant sanitation problems with its inquisitiveness.
他说动物权利是好的，但可爱的兔子或猫和恶心的浣熊之间有很大的区别，浣熊靠腐肉和垃圾生存，并因其好奇心造成严重的卫生问题。
"Oh, get off it," Claude says, affection for Tim shining from his dull eyes.
“哦，别再这样了，”克劳德说道，他那双呆滞的眼睛里闪烁着对蒂姆的爱意。
"You'd eliminate your own mother if there was a buck in it for you."
“如果你有钱的话，你会消灭你自己的母亲。”
"Undeniably," Tim says, "especially if she knocked over a client trash can or turned rabid.
“不可否认，”蒂姆说，“尤其是当她打翻了客户的垃圾桶或变得狂躁时。
Then he hands me the corporate Visa and sends me to Hardware Niche for coolers.
然后他递给我公司签证，并让我去 Hardware Niche 购买冷却器。
When I get back to the office, everyone's gone for the night.
当我回到办公室时，每个人都已经出去过夜了。
The Muzak's off for a change and loud wax and harsh words are floating up from the basement via the heat ducts.
背景音乐响起，大声的蜡声和刺耳的话语从地下室通过热管道飘来。
Before long, Tim tromps up the stairs swearing.
不久，蒂姆咒骂着走上楼梯。
I hide pronto.
我赶紧躲起来。
He shouts thanks for nothing and says he could have had more rough and tumble fun dangling a cat over a banister, that there's nothing duller than a clerk with the sexual imagination of a grape.
他无缘无故地大喊谢谢，并说他本可以把一只猫挂在栏杆上，享受更多的打闹乐趣，没有什么比一个拥有葡萄般性想象力的店员更无聊的了。
"Document placement and retrieval specialist," Frieda says in a hurt tone.
“文档放置和检索专家。”弗里达用受伤的语气说道。
"Whatever," Tim says and speeds off in his Porsche.
“不管怎样，”蒂姆说着，开着他的保时捷疾驰而去。
I emerge overwhelmed from my cubicle.
我从小隔间里出来时不知所措。
Over her shoulder and through the plate glass is a shocked autumnal moon.
在她的肩膀上，透过平板玻璃，是一轮令人震惊的秋月。
Frieda's cheek is badly bruised.
弗里达的脸颊严重瘀伤。
Otherwise, she's radiant with love.
否则，她就会充满爱的光芒。
My mouth hangs open.
我张大了嘴。
"What can I say?" she says.
“我能说什么？”她说。
"I can't get enough of the man."
“我对这个男人的态度还不够。”
"Good night," I say and forget about my car and walked the nine miles home in a daze.
“晚安，”我说完，忘记了我的车，迷迷糊糊地走了九英里回家。
All day Wednesday, I prepare to tell Tim off, but I'm too scared.
星期三一整天，我都准备斥责蒂姆，但我太害怕了。
Plus he could rightly say she's a consenting adult.
另外，他可以正确地说她是一个同意的成年人。
Instead, I drop a few snots in his coffee cup and use my network access privileges to cancel his print jobs.
相反，我在他的咖啡杯里流了几滴鼻涕，并使用我的网络访问权限取消了他的打印作业。
He asks can I work late, and in spite of myself, I fawningly say sure.
他问我可以加班到很晚吗，我不由自主地阿谀奉承地说可以。
I hate him.
我讨厌他。
I hate myself.
我讨厌我自己。
Everybody else goes home.
其他人都回家了。
Big clouds roll in.
大朵大朵的云朵滚滚而来。
I invoice like mad.
我疯狂地开具发票。
Birds light on the dumpster and feed on substances caked on the lid.
鸟儿会落在垃圾箱上，以盖子上结块的物质为食。
What a degraded cosmos.
这是一个多么堕落的宇宙啊。
What a case of something starting out nice and going bad.
这是一个多么好的例子，事情开始时很好，后来却变坏了。
More of George Saunders' story, "The 400 Pound CEO" in a minute when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续时，我们稍后会详细介绍乔治·桑德斯的故事“400 磅的首席执行官”。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week, of course, we choose a theme, invite a variety of writers, documentary producers, and performers to tackle that theme.
当然，我们每周都会选择一个主题，邀请各种作家、纪录片制片人和表演者来解决这个主题。
Today's program, Animals Die, People Ponder Morality.
今天的节目《动物死亡，人们思考道德》。
We are in the middle or Act Two, George Saunders' story, "The 400 Pound CEO" continues.
我们正处于第二幕的中间，乔治·桑德斯的故事“400磅的首席执行官”仍在继续。
At this point in the story, it's late, our narrator has just discovered that Frieda loves his boss Tim.
故事讲到这里，已经很晚了，我们的叙述者刚刚发现弗里达爱他的老板蒂姆。
He hates Tim, but he works late for him that day anyway.
他讨厌蒂姆，但那天他还是为他工作到很晚。
Tim stays late too.
蒂姆也迟到了。
Just after 7:00, I hear him shout, "You, darling, will rot in hell with the help of a swift push to the grave from me." At first, I think he's pillow talking with Frieda by phone.
7:00 刚过，我听到他喊道：“亲爱的，你会在我迅速推向坟墓的帮助下在地狱里腐烂。”起初，我认为他正在和弗里达枕边打电话。
Then I look out the window and see the animal rights girl at the lip of our pit with a camcorder.
然后我向窗外望去，看到动物权利女孩拿着摄像机站在我们的坑边。
Tim runs out the door with his blackjack unsheathed.
蒂姆拔出了二十一点，跑出了门。
What to do?
该怎么办？
Clearly, he means her harm.
显然，他是有意伤害她。
I follow him, leaving behind my loafers to minimize noise.
我跟着他，留下我的乐福鞋以尽量减少噪音。
I keep to the shadows and scurry in my socks from tiny berm to tiny berm.
我躲在阴影里，穿着袜子从一个小护堤跑到另一个小护堤。
I heave in an unattractive manner.
我以一种不吸引人的方式起伏。
My heart rate's in the ionosphere.
我的心率处于电离层。
To my credit, I'm able to keep up with him.
值得赞扬的是，我能够跟上他的步伐。
Meanwhile, she's struggling up the slope with her hair in sweet disarray, backlit by a moon the color of honey, camcorder on her head like some kind of Kenyan water jug.
与此同时，她正在艰难地爬上斜坡，头发凌乱，背光是蜂蜜色的月亮，头上戴着摄像机，就像某种肯尼亚水壶。
"Harlot," Tim hisses, "attempted defiler of my dream," and whips his blackjack down.
“妓女，”蒂姆嘶声说道，“企图玷污我的梦想。”然后猛地抽下他的二十一点。
Am I quick?
我快吗？
I am so quick.
我这么快。
I lunge up and take it on the wrist.
我猛扑上去，把它戴在手腕上。
My arm bone goes to mush and my head starts to spin and I wrap Tim up in a hug the size of Tulsa.
我的臂骨变得一团糟，我的头开始旋转，我用塔尔萨那么大的拥抱包裹着蒂姆。
"Run," I gasp to the girl and see in the moonlight the affluent white souls of her fleeing boat-type shoes.
“快跑，”我对着女孩喘息着，在月光下看到她逃跑的船型鞋上丰富的白色灵魂。
I hug hard.
我用力拥抱。
I tell him drop the jack, and to my surprise, he does.
我告诉他放下千斤顶，令我惊讶的是，他确实这么做了。
Do I then release him?
那我释放他吗？
To my shame, no. So much sick rage is stored up in me.
令我羞愧的是，没有。我心里积攒了太多病态的愤怒。
I never knew.
我从来不知道。
And out it comes in one mondo squeeze and something breaks and he goes limp and I lay him gently down in the dirt.
然后它突然被挤压出来，有什么东西破裂了，他变得软弱无力，我轻轻地将他放在泥土上。
I CPR like anything.
我心肺复苏喜欢任何事情。
I beg him to rise up and thrash me.
我求他站起来打我。
I do a crazy little dance of grief.
我疯狂地跳起悲伤的小舞蹈。
But it's no good.
但这并不好。
I've killed Tim.
我杀了蒂姆。
I sprint across 209 and ineffectually drag my bulk around Industrial Grotto, weeping and banging on locked corporate doors.
我冲过 209 号公路，徒劳地拖着大块头绕着工业石窟转了一圈，一边哭泣，一边敲着紧锁的公司门。
United Knee Wrap's having a gala.
United Knee Wrap 正在举办一场盛会。
Their top brass are drunkenly lip-synching hits of the '50s en masse and their foot soldiers are laughing like subservient fools, so no one hears my frantic knocking.
他们的高层们醉醺醺地对口型唱着 50 年代的热门歌曲，而他们的步兵则像顺从的傻瓜一样大笑，所以没有人听到我疯狂的敲门声。
I prepare to heave a fake boulder through the plate glass.
我准备将一块假巨石扔进平板玻璃。
But then I stop.
但后来我停了下来。
By now, Tim's beyond help.
到目前为止，蒂姆已经无药可救了。
What do I gain by turning myself in?
自首我能得到什么？
Did I or did I not save an innocent girl's life?
我是否拯救了一个无辜女孩的生命？
Was he or was he not a cruel monster?
他到底是不是一个残忍的怪物？
And standing there outside the gala, I learned something vital about myself.
站在晚会外面，我学到了一些关于自己的重要知识。
When push comes to shove, I could care less about lofty ideals.
到了紧要关头，我就不再关心崇高的理想了。
It's me I love.
我爱的是我。
It's me I want to protect.
我要保护的是我。
Me.
我。
I hustle back to the office for the burial gear.
我赶紧回到办公室去拿殡葬用具。
I roll Tim into the pit.
我把蒂姆滚进坑里。
I sprinkle on lime and cover him with dirt.
我撒上石灰并用泥土覆盖他。
I forge a letter in which he claims to be going to Mexico to clarify his relationship with God via silent meditation and a rugged desert setting.
我伪造了一封信，他在信中声称要去墨西哥，通过静默冥想和崎岖的沙漠环境来澄清他与上帝的关系。
"My friends," I write through tears in his childish scrawl, "you slave away for minimal rewards.
“我的朋友们，”我流着泪用他幼稚的潦草的字迹写道，“你们为了微薄的回报而辛勤劳作。
Freedom can be yours if you open yourself to the eternal.
如果你向永恒敞开自己，自由就属于你。
Good health and happiness to you all.
祝大家身体健康、幸福快乐。
I'm truly sorry for any offense I may have given.
对于我可能造成的任何冒犯，我深表歉意。
Also, I have thought long and hard on this and have decided to turn over the reins to Jeffrey whom I have always wrongly maligned.
而且，我对此深思熟虑，并决定将权力交给我一直错误诽谤的杰弗里。
I see now that he is a man of considerable gifts and ask you all to defer to him as you would to me."
我现在发现他是一个具有相当天赋的人，请大家尊重他，就像尊重我一样。”
I leave the letter on Claude's chair and go out to sleep in my car.
我把信放在克劳德的椅子上，然后出去在车里睡觉。
I dream of Tim wearing a white robe in a Mexican cantina.
我梦见蒂姆穿着白色长袍在墨西哥小酒馆里。
A mangy dog sits on his lap explaining the rules of the dead.
一只癞皮狗坐在他的腿上解释死者的规则。
No weeping, no pushing the other dead, don't bore everyone with tales of how great you were.
不要哭泣，不要推搡别人，不要让每个人都讲述你有多伟大的故事。
Tim smiles sweetly and rubs the dog behind the ears.
蒂姆甜甜地笑了，揉了揉狗的耳朵后面。
He sees me and says no hard feelings and thanks for speeding him onto the realm of bliss.
他看到我并没有表示难过，并感谢你让他加速进入幸福的境界。
I wake with a start.
我惊醒了。
The sun comes up driving sparrows before it, turning the corporate reflective windows wild with orange.
太阳升起，驱赶着前面的麻雀，将公司的反光窗户变成了疯狂的橙色。
I roll out of my car and brush my teeth with my finger.
我滚下车，用手指刷牙。
My first day as a killer.
我作为杀手的第一天。
I walk to the pit in the light of fresh day hoping it was all a dream, but no. There's our scuffling footprints.
我在清晨的阳光下走向坑，希望这一切都是一场梦，但事实并非如此。那里有我们扭打的脚印。
There's the mound of fresh dirt, under which lies Tim.
那里有一堆新鲜的泥土，蒂姆就躺在下面。
I sit on a paint can in a patch of waving weeds and watch my colleagues arrive.
我坐在一片杂草丛生的油漆罐上，看着同事们到来。
I weep.
我哭了。
I think sadly of the kindly bumbler I used to be, bleary-eyed in the morning, guiltless and looking forward to coffee.
我悲伤地想起以前的我，那个善良的貉子，早上睡眼惺忪，天真无邪，期待着喝咖啡。
When I finally go in, everyone's gathered stunned around the microwave.
当我最终进去时，每个人都惊讶地聚集在微波炉周围。
"El Presidente," Claude says, disgustedly.
“总统先生，”克劳德厌恶地说。
"Sorry?" I say.
“抱歉？”我说。
I make a big show of shaking my head in shock as I read and reread the note I wrote.
当我读了又读我写的便条时，我表现出震惊地摇头。
I ask if this means I'm in charge.
我问这是否意味着我负责。
Claude says with that kind of conceptual grasp, we're not exactly in for salad days.
克劳德说，有了这种概念上的把握，我们就不会完全陷入沙拉时代。
He asks Frieda if she had an inkling.
他问弗里达是否有线索。
She says she always knew Tim had certain unplumbed depths, but this is ridiculous.
她说她一直都知道蒂姆有某些未曾探索过的深度，但这太荒谬了。
Claude says he smells a rat.
克劳德说他闻到了老鼠的味道。
He says Tim never had a religious bone in his body and didn't speak a word of Spanish.
他说蒂姆的身体里从来没有宗教信仰，也不会说一句西班牙语。
My face gets red.
我的脸变红了。
Thank God Blamphin, that toady, pipes up.
感谢上帝，布兰芬，那个谄媚的人，开始说话了。
"I say in terms of giving Jeffrey a chance, we should give Jeffrey a chance.
“我说，就给杰弗里一个机会而言，我们应该给杰弗里一个机会。
In as much as Tim was a good manager but a kind of a mean guy," he says.
尽管蒂姆是一位优秀的经理，但也是一个卑鄙的人，”他说。
"Well put," Claude says cynically.
“说得好，”克劳德愤世嫉俗地说。
"And I say this fatty knows something he's not telling." I praise Tim to the skies and admit I could never fill his shoes.
“我说这个胖子知道一些他没有说出来的事情。”我对蒂姆赞不绝口，并承认我永远无法取代他的位置。
I demean my organizational skills and leadership abilities but vow to work hard for the good of all.
我贬低我的组织能力和领导能力，但发誓我会为了所有人的利益而努力工作。
Then I humbly propose a vote.
然后我谦虚地提议投票。
Do I assume leadership or not?
我是否担任领导职务？
Claude says he'll honor a quorum, and then via show of hands, I achieve a nice one.
克劳德说他会遵守法定人数，然后通过举手，我达成了一个很好的目标。
I move my things into Tim's office.
我把东西搬进蒂姆的办公室。
Because he'd always perceived me as a hefty milquetoast with no personal aspirations, he trusted me implicitly.
因为他一直认为我是个胆小鬼，没有个人抱负，所以他绝对信任我。
So I'm able to access the corporate safe.
这样我就可以访问公司保险箱了。
I'm able to cater in prime rib and a trio of mustachioed violinists who stroll from cubicle to cubicle hoping for tips.
我可以为三名留着小胡子的小提琴手提供上等肋骨，他们从一个小隔间漫步到另一个小隔间，希望得到小费。
Claude's outraged.
克劳德很生气。
Standing on his chair, he demands to know what ever happened to the profit motive.
他站在椅子上，要求知道利润动机发生了什么。
He says one can't run a corporation on good intentions and blatant naivete.
他说，一个人不能凭着良好的意愿和公然的天真来经营一家公司。
He pleads that the staff fire me and appoint him CEO.
他恳求员工解雇我并任命他为首席执行官。
Finally, Blamphin proposes I can him.
最后，布兰芬提议我可以他。
Torson from Personnel seconds the motion.
人事部的托森附议该动议。
I shrug my shoulders and we vote and Claude's axed.
我耸耸肩，我们投票了，克劳德被解雇了。
He kicks the water cooler, he gives me the finger, but out he goes, leaving us to our chocolate mousse and cocktails.
他踢开水冷却器，对我竖了个手指，但他还是出去了，留下我们吃巧克力慕斯和鸡尾酒。
By nightfall, the party's kicked into high gear.
夜幕降临，聚会进入高潮。
I bring in jugglers and a comedian and drinks, drinks, drinks.
我请来杂技演员和喜剧演员，还有饮料、饮料、饮料。
My staff swears their undying loyalty.
我的员工发誓他们永远忠诚。
We make drunken toasts to my health and theirs.
我们为自己和他们的健康干杯。
I tell them we'll kill no more.
我告诉他们我们不会再杀人了。
I tell them we'll come clean with the appropriate agencies and pay all relevant fines.
我告诉他们我们将向适当的机构坦白并支付所有相关罚款。
Henceforth, we'll relocate the captured raccoons as we've always claimed to be doing.
从今以后，我们将像我们一直声称的那样重新安置捕获的浣熊。
The company will be owned by us, the employees, who will come and go as we please.
公司将由我们员工所有，我们可以随意来去。
Day care will be available on site.
现场将提供日托服务。
Frieda brightens and sits on the arm of my chair.
弗里达的神情焕然一新，坐在我的椅子扶手上。
Muzak will give way to personal stereos in each cubicle.
穆扎克音乐将让位于每个隔间中的个人立体声音响。
We will support righteous charities, take troubled children under our collective wing, enjoy afternoons off when the sun is high and the air sweet with the smell of mown grass.
我们将支持正义的慈善事业，将陷入困境的儿童置于我们的集体羽翼下，享受阳光高照、空气中弥漫着割草气味的午后时光。
And when one of us finally has to die, we will have the consolation of knowing that, aided by corporate largess, our departed colleague has known his or her full measure of power, love, and beauty.
当我们中的一个人最终不得不死去时，我们会感到安慰，因为我们知道，在公司慷慨的帮助下，我们去世的同事已经充分了解了他或她的力量、爱和美丽。
And arm in arm, we will all march to the graveyard singing sad hymns.
我们将手挽手，唱着悲伤的赞美诗，走向墓地。
Just then, the cops break in led by Claude, who's holding one of Tim's shoes.
就在这时，警察在克劳德的带领下闯了进来，克劳德手里拿着蒂姆的一只鞋子。
"If you went to Mexico," he shouts triumphantly, "wouldn't you take your Porsche?
“如果你去墨西哥，”他得意地喊道，“你不会开你的保时捷吗？
Would you be so stupid as to turn your life's work over to this tub of lard?
你会傻到把一生的心血都交给这桶猪油吗？
Things started to add up.
事情开始变得越来越严重。
I did some literal digging.
我做了一些文字挖掘。
And there I found my friend Tim with a crushed rib cage that broke my heart and a look of total surprise on his face."
在那里，我发现我的朋友蒂姆的肋骨被压碎，我的心都碎了，他的脸上满是惊讶的表情。”
"My Timmy," Frieda says, rising from my chair.
“我的蒂米，”弗里达从椅子上站起来说道。
"This disgusting pig killed my beautiful boy." They cuff me and lead me away.
“这头恶心的猪杀了我漂亮的男孩。”他们给我戴上手铐，然后把我带走。
In court, I tell the truth.
在法庭上，我说的是实话。
The animal rights girl comes out of the woodwork and corroborates my story.
动物权利女孩的出现证实了我的故事。
The judge says he appreciates my honesty and the fact that I saved a life.
法官说他很欣赏我的诚实以及我拯救了一条生命。
He wonders why having saved a life, I didn't simply release Tim and reap the laurels of my courage.
他想知道为什么我拯救了一条生命，却没有简单地释放蒂姆并获得勇气的桂冠。
I tell him I lost control.
我告诉他我失去了控制。
I tell him a lifetime of scorn boiled over.
我告诉他一生的蔑视已经沸腾了。
He says he empathizes completely and says he had a weight problem himself when a lad.
他说他完全理解，并说他自己小时候也有体重问题。
Then he gives me 50 as opposed to life without parole.
然后他给了我 50 分，而不是终身监禁。
So now I know misery.
所以现在我知道了痛苦。
I know the acute discomfort of a gray jail suit pieced together from two garments of normal size.
我知道用两件正常尺寸的衣服拼凑而成的灰色监狱服会带来极大的不适。
I know the body odor of Vic, a Chicago kingpin who's claimed me for his own and compels me to wear a feminine hat with fruit on the brim for nightly interludes.
我知道维克的体味，他是芝加哥的一个头目，他将我据为己有，并强迫我在每晚的插曲中戴上一顶帽檐上有水果的女性帽子。
Do my ex-colleagues write?
我的前同事会写信吗？
No. Does Frieda?
不，弗里达有吗？
Ha.
哈。
Have I achieved serenity?
我达到平静了吗？
No. Do I have a meaningful hobby that makes the days fly by like minutes?
没有。我是否有一个有意义的爱好，可以让日子过得像几分钟一样？
No.
不。
I have a wild desire to smell the ocean.
我有强烈的渴望去闻大海的味道。
I have a sense that God is unfair and preferentially punishes his weak, his dumb, his fat, his lazy.
我有一种感觉，上帝是不公平的，他优先惩罚他的弱者、他的哑巴、他的胖子、他的懒惰。
I believe he takes more pleasure in his perfect creatures and cheers them on like a brainless dad as they run roughshod over the rest of us.
我相信他对他的完美生物更感兴趣，当他们对我们其他人粗暴对待时，他会像一个无脑的父亲一样为他们加油。
He gives us a need for love and no way to get any.
他让我们需要爱，但却无法获得爱。
He gives us a desire to be liked and personal attributes that make us utterly unlikable.
他赋予我们被人喜欢的渴望，以及让我们完全不讨人喜欢的个人特质。
Having placed his flawed and needy children in a world of exacting specifications, he deducts the difference between what we have and what we need from our hearts and our self-esteem and our mental health.
他把他有缺陷和需要帮助的孩子放在一个有严格规范的世界里，他从我们的内心、自尊和心理健康中推断出我们拥有的和我们需要的之间的差异。
This is how I feel.
这就是我的感受。
These things seem to be true.
这些事情似乎都是真的。
But what's there to do but behave with dignity, keep a nice cell, be polite but firm when Vic asks me to shimmy while wearing a hat, join in at the top of my lungs when the geriatric murderer from Baton Rouge begins his nightly spiritual?
但是，除了表现得有尊严、保持一个良好的牢房、当维克让我戴着帽子摇摆时保持礼貌但坚定、当来自巴吞鲁日的老年杀人犯开始他的夜间灵修时尽我所能地加入时，还能做什么呢？
Maybe the God we see, the God who calls the daily shots is merely a sub-god.
或许我们看到的那个主宰日常的神只是一个亚神。
Maybe there's a God above this sub-god who's busy for a few God minutes with something else and will be right back and when he gets back will take the sub-god by the ear and say, "Now look, look at that fat man.
也许在这个亚神之上有一位神，他忙了几分钟别的事情，然后马上回来，当他回来时，他会抓住亚神的耳朵说：“现在看，看看那个胖子。
What did he ever do to you?
他曾经对你做过什么？
Wasn't he humble enough?
他还不够谦虚吗？
Didn't he endure enough abuse for 1,000 men?
他对一千人的虐待还不够多吗？
Weren't the simplest tasks hard?
最简单的任务难道不难吗？
Didn't you sense him craving affection?
难道你没感觉到他对感情的渴望吗？
Were you unaware that his days unraveled as one long bad dream?"
你难道不知道他的日子就像一场漫长的噩梦一样化为泡影吗？”
And maybe as this sub-god slinks away, the true God will sweep me up in his arms, saying, "My sincere apologies.
也许当这位次神溜走时，真神会把我揽入怀中，说道：“我真诚的道歉。
A mistake has been made.
犯了一个错误。
Accept a new birth as token of my esteem." And I will emerge again from between the legs of my mother a slighter and more beautiful baby, destined for a different life in which I am masterful, sleek as a deer, a winner.
接受新生，作为我尊重的象征。”我将再次从母亲的双腿之间诞生，成为一个更苗条、更美丽的婴儿，注定要过一种不同的生活，在这种生活中，我像鹿一样娴熟、光滑，是一个胜利者。
"The 400 Pound CEO" is in George Saunders' book of short stories CivilWarLand in Bad Decline .
“400磅的首席执行官”出现在乔治·桑德斯的短篇小说《内战之地》的《衰落》中。
Act Three, Dead Animal Man.
第三幕，动物之死。
It's our program on dead animals and on human thoughts.
这是我们关于死亡动物和人类思想的计划。
This next story is a story recorded during the summer, years ago, in Washington DC.
下一个故事是多年前的夏天在华盛顿特区记录的故事。
Society has a deal with people in certain unpleasant jobs.
社会对从事某些不愉快工作的人有一定的协议。
It pays them money, and they handle disgusting smelling stuff so nobody else has to.
它给他们钱，而且他们处理令人恶心的气味的东西，所以没有其他人需要这样做。
Well, meet Clarence Hicks.
好吧，来认识一下克拉伦斯·希克斯。
I pick up dead animals.
我捡起死去的动物。
I'm a dead animal man.
我是一个死去的动物人。
I pick up dead animals.
我捡起死去的动物。
Dead dogs, dead cats, whatever.
死狗，死猫，什么的。
That's just my job.
这就是我的工作。
Washington DC has three dead animal catchers in the Department of Sanitation.
华盛顿特区卫生部门有三名动物捕手死亡。
This week, I went out with Clarence Hicks.
这周，我和克拉伦斯·希克斯出去了。
What highway are we on here?
我们这里走的是哪条高速公路？
Clarence Hicks 295, southbound.
Clarence Hicks 295，南行。
It should down by Overlook.
它应该被 Overlook 下来。
Bird.
鸟。
Ira Glass --bird.
艾拉·格拉斯——鸟。
How long do you think that was there?
你认为那已经存在了多久？
That's probably been there a couple days.
那可能已经存在几天了。
It's body's going sucked all in, see.
它的身体都被吸进去了，瞧。
The worms and stuff ate him up.
虫子之类的东西把他吃掉了。
OK, we're running across the highway now.
好的，我们现在正在穿过高速公路。
It's a cat.
这是一只猫。
This is a cat.
这是一只猫。
It's been here for a little while.
它已经在这里有一段时间了。
Dried up, see?
干涸了，看到了吗？
It's all flat on one side.
它的一侧都是平的。
Clarence Hicks Yep.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 是的。
The cat's head was still normal, but the body was blackened and dissolving.
猫的头还正常，但身体已经变黑，正在溶解。
Mr. hicks slid a pitchfork under the poor thing and carried it back to his truck, where he dropped it into a metal trash can in the back.
希克斯先生用一把干草叉插在这个可怜的东西下面，然后把它带回卡车上，然后把它扔进了后面的一个金属垃圾桶里。
It was hot.
天气很热。
Summer is the busy season for dead animal catchers.
夏季是死去的动物捕手的忙碌季节。
More animals are outside so more are dead on the road.
更多的动物在外面，所以更多的动物死在路上。
And then there's the smell to deal with.
然后还有需要处理的气味。
In the hot sun, the animals decompose fast.
在烈日下，动物很快就会腐烂。
What sort of person does this kind of work?
什么样的人做这样的工作？
Clarence Hicks is 51 with a gray goatee.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 (Clarence Hicks) 51 岁，留着灰色山羊胡。
He has kids and grandkids, but no pets.
他有孩子和孙子，但没有宠物。
Before taking this job a year and a half ago, he worked in other divisions in the Department of Sanitation, cleaning alleys, working at the city incinerator.
在一年半前接受这份工作之前，他曾在卫生局的其他部门工作过，清洁小巷，在城市焚烧厂工作。
He says this job is definitely a step up.
他说这份工作绝对是一个进步。
I'm my own boss.
我是我自己的老板。
I'm by myself.
我一个人。
All they do is give me the work to do, I go get it.
他们所做的只是给我工作要做，我去完成它。
I don't have nobody bothering me all the time.
我没有人一直打扰我。
Driving around alone.
一个人开车到处走走。
Clarence Hicks And I'll be driving around.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 我会开车到处走走。
Yeah.
是的。
Driving by myself.
自己开车。
And I like that.
我喜欢这样。
It's not very strenuous.
这不是很费力。
Mostly Mr. Hicks stops by people's houses, picks up their dead pets, or dead animals in the neighborhood.
希克斯先生大多数时候都会去人们家门口，捡起他们死去的宠物，或者附近死去的动物。
Maybe a dozen a day.
也许一天十几个。
Few enough so he doesn't have to rush.
数量足够少，所以他不必着急。
A dispatcher gives him a list of animals and addresses over the radio.
调度员通过无线电给了他一份动物名单和地址。
OK, 2262 High Street SE.
好的，东南高街 2262 号。
I took care of that, 10-4?
我已经解决了，10-4？
10-4.
10-4。
Clarence Hicks Hey, buddy, do you see a dead cat laying around anywhere?
克拉伦斯·希克斯（Clarence Hicks）：嘿，伙计，你有没有看到到处都有一只死猫？
At one house, we were supposed to find a cat.
在一所房子里，我们应该找到一只猫。
But after looking in the street, in the backyard, everywhere, we only found a fish, 10 inches long, silver blue, in perfect condition, but dead.
但在街上、后院、到处都找了一遍之后，我们只发现了一条10英寸长的银蓝色鱼，状况良好，但已经死了。
Maybe they got confused.
也许他们很困惑。
Clarence Hicks Maybe so.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 也许是这样。
We had other stops.
我们还有其他站点。
A cat under a tree, a dog covered with maggots.
树下有只猫，长满蛆虫的狗。
Over on 30th Place, we were called out for a squirrel.
到了 30 号广场，我们被叫去寻找一只松鼠。
There it is.
就在那里。
Clarence Hicks There it is, right there.
克拉伦斯·希克斯：就在那里，就在那里。
It took less than a minute.
花了不到一分钟的时间。
Clarence Hicks Then I take him and put him in the truck here.
克拉伦斯·希克斯：然后我把他带到这里的卡车里。
After we get two put in the truck, we put it down.
当我们把两个放进卡车后，我们就把它放下了。
Then we go to the next stop.
然后我们前往下一站。
Pick up just--
拿起刚刚——
People have strong personal reactions to dead animals.
人们对死去的动物有强烈的个人反应。
A stranger wearing a white cap and a beeper just walked up to us and started talking.
一个戴着白帽、戴着传呼机的陌生人走到我们面前开始说话。
I'd have given half my life for that squirrel at one time.
我曾经愿意为那只松鼠献出我的半生。
I was a prisoner during the Korean War.
我在朝鲜战争期间是一名战俘。
And I used to sit up off that Han River and watch seagulls fly over.
我曾经坐在汉江边看海鸥飞过。
I'd be laying there thinking I could fry one, that's how hungry I was.
我躺在那里想着我可以煎一个，我就是这么饿。
What, are you just riding around?
什么，你只是骑着车到处走吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Man 2 You know, animals got a right.
男人 2 你知道，动物有权利。
We're killing most of them because we forced them off their land.
我们杀死了他们中的大多数人，因为我们迫使他们离开了自己的土地。
I think they have as much right on Earth as man has, or human beings.
我认为他们在地球上拥有与人类一样多的权利。
And we forced them off.
我们强迫他们离开。
In fact, they were here first.
事实上，他们是先到这里的。
Are you the person who called it in to the Department of Sanitation to pick this up?
你是打电话给卫生部门来接这件事的人吗？
I saw it.
我看到了。
Yeah.
是的。
They'll be here in a short period of time.
他们很快就会到达这里。
They'll pick up that before they pick up most human beings.
他们会在发现大多数人之前发现这一点。
Back in the truck, Mr. Hicks said that in his job, you can't just throw the animals around.
回到卡车上，希克斯先生说，在他的工作中，你不能只是把动物扔得到处都是。
People will complain.
人们会抱怨。
You have to respect people's feelings about animals, be more funeral director than garbage man.
你必须尊重人们对动物的感情，更像是殡葬承办人而不是垃圾工。
Like yesterday, he said, when he picked up a woman's dog.
就像昨天一样，他说，当时他捡起了一个女人的狗。
Yeah, she was really, really crying.
是的，她真的哭了。
It's a sad thing to see people really crying.
看到人们真正哭泣是一件悲伤的事情。
And you'll be surprised about the animals.
你会对这些动物感到惊讶。
People are really crazy about animals.
人们真的很喜欢动物。
It was a great big dog.
这是一只很棒的大狗。
A German Shepherd.
一只德国牧羊犬。
And she really got attached to it.
她真的很喜欢它。
I just said, well, I'm sorry you lost your dog.
我只是说，好吧，我很抱歉你失去了你的狗。
She just cried.
她只是哭了。
So I asked her were you going to get another one?
于是我问她你还要再买一份吗？
She said, I don't know.
她说，我不知道。
I might.
我可能会。
I might get a dog.
我可能会养一只狗。
I don't know.
我不知道。
So that's about the size of what you could do.
这就是你能做的事情的规模。
So I just put him on the truck, onto the next stop.
所以我就把他送上卡车，送到下一站。
This is a big black dog.
这是一只大黑狗。
Clarence Hicks A big dog.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 一条大狗。
A big black dog.
一条大黑狗。
The next stop for us was the animal shelter, where ordinary people bring their animals to be put to sleep, as they say.
我们的下一站是动物收容所，正如他们所说，普通人把他们的动物带到那里睡觉。
Mr. Hicks and another animal man, William Daniels, put on aprons and gloves and carried five big, gray, plastic barrels of animals into the truck, 50 or 60 animals in all.
希克斯先生和另一位动物人威廉·丹尼尔斯 (William Daniels) 穿上围裙，戴上手套，将五个灰色的大塑料桶装进卡车，总共有 50 到 60 只动物。
And that garbage bucket had a couple of dogs, a couple cats.
那个垃圾桶里有几只狗，几只猫。
Cats, dogs-- William Daniels Dogs, cats, rats, squirrels, possums, all that.
猫、狗——威廉·丹尼尔斯 狗、猫、老鼠、松鼠、负鼠，所有这些。
And now another dog.
现在又是一只狗。
Clarence Hicks Another big dog.
克拉伦斯希克斯另一只大狗。
Big German Shepherd here.
这里是大德国牧羊犬。
Ira Glass All the animals are taken to what Mr. Hicks calls "The Box," a walk-in freezer near the city incinerator.
艾拉·格拉斯 所有的动物都被带到希克斯先生所说的“盒子”，一个靠近城市焚化炉的步入式冰柜。
There, the animals are lifted into metal oil barrels and left.
在那里，动物被提升到金属油桶中并离开。
Has this job changed the way that you see animals?
这份工作改变了你看待动物的方式吗？
To me?
大部头书？
No. To me, they're dead, they're dead.
不，对我来说，他们已经死了，他们已经死了。
There's no change in--
没有任何变化——
Come on.
来吧。
I don't believe you.
我不相信你。
I feel like I see animals differently just from seeing those dogs in one of those gray, plastic--
我觉得我对动物的看法与那些穿着灰色塑料的狗的看法不同——
How do you see them dead?
你怎么看他们死了？
Are you seeing them decomposed?
你看到它们分解了吗？
You know they're dead, right?
你知道他们死了，对吧？
OK, they'll be decomposed, you know they ain't alive, because if they were alive they'd be still running around here.
好吧，他们会被分解，你知道他们不是活人，因为如果他们还活着，他们仍然会在这里跑来跑去。
I'll tell you, the next time I see a dog on the street, I'm going to think to myself-- I'm just going to remember what those dogs in the back of your truck looked like.
我告诉你，下次当我在街上看到狗时，我会自己想——我只会记住卡车后面的那些狗是什么样子。
They looked dead, yeah.
他们看起来死了，是的。
Clarence Hicks OK.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 好的。
You know they are not alive.
你知道他们已经没有生命了。
Because if they were alive, they'd be running around.
因为如果他们还活着，他们就会到处乱跑。
If you see a live dog, you say, well, you be careful now, because one day, you may be back in the back there.
如果你看到一只活狗，你会说，好吧，你现在要小心，因为有一天，你可能会回到那里。
Did you ever see those pictures of-- I guess it's the angel of death?
你看过那些照片吗——我猜那是死亡天使？
You know, big black hood and a sickle, a guy holding a sickle?
你知道吗，大黑兜帽和一把镰刀，一个拿着镰刀的家伙？
The Grim Reaper.
死神。
I've seen a picture of that guy.
我见过那个人的照片。
[INAUDIBLE] Why should I let that bother me?
[听不清] 为什么我要让这个困扰我？
Well, it shouldn't bother you because that's who you are for these dogs.
好吧，这不应该打扰你，因为对于这些狗来说，你就是这样的人。
Well, no, I'm the angel.
嗯，不，我是天使。
See, when they die, I'm going to take them to heaven.
看吧，等他们死了，我就带他们去天堂。
I'm the undertaker.
我是殡仪馆的承办人
I'm the undertaker.
我是殡仪馆的承办人
Keep them from laying on the streets, smelling, let birds pick on them and all that kind eat him or something like that.
不要让它们躺在街上，闻起来，让鸟儿啄它们，然后所有的东西吃掉他或类似的东西。
I take them off the street.
我把它们从街上带走。
Give them a decent disposal.
给他们一个体面的处置。
Clarence Hicks There you go.
克拉伦斯·希克斯 就这样吧。
A few times a week, a rendering company comes down from Baltimore to pick up the animals that Mr. Hicks has gathered and left in The Box.
一家渲染公司每周都会从巴尔的摩过来几次，取走希克斯先生收集并留在盒子里的动物。
In Baltimore, these smelly creatures that nobody wants are changed into smelly things that people sell to each other, ingredients for perfume, fertilizer, stuff that ordinary folks can handle themselves.
在巴尔的摩，这些无人想要的有臭味的生物被变成了人们互相出售的有臭味的东西，香水的原料，肥料，普通人可以自己处理的东西。
Act Four, Redemption.
第四幕，救赎。
So what if you took it as your mission to keep the animals from dying?
那么，如果你把防止动物死亡作为你的使命呢？
Well, the hardest cases, the most abused, the sickest animals in trouble are Leo Brillo's purpose in life.
嗯，最困难的案件、最受虐待的、最病态的动物陷入困境是利奥·布里洛的人生目标。
I guess I can't stand the suffering of an animal.
我想我无法忍受动物的痛苦。
An animal looks up at you, and to me, I can feel what he's feeling as a human little thing.
一只动物抬头看着你，而对我来说，我能感受到他作为一个人类小东西的感受。
Or there's something going on.
或者有什么事情发生。
I don't just see a furry thing.
我不只看到毛茸茸的东西。
I see the eyes and I get right into the feelings of the animal.
我看到它们的眼睛，就能体会到动物的感受。
And something affects me and I have to do something about it.
有些事情影响了我，我必须对此做点什么。
I don't have that empathy, maybe, with people.
也许我对人没有那种同理心。
Or maybe I don't allow it, to have that with people.
或者也许我不允许与人交往。
Because somehow people can take care of themselves.
因为人们可以以某种方式照顾自己。
These guys can't.
这些人不能。
These animals can't.
这些动物不能。
So I see that and I have to do something about it.
所以我看到了这一点，我必须为此做点什么。
But I won't draw the line.
但我不会划清界限。
See, I can't go to the pound.
瞧，我不能去拘留所。
I have meetings with the director, the whole set up out here.
我和导演开会，一切都在这里进行。
I can't go to the pound.
我不能去磅。
He has to meet me in a coffee shop.
他必须在一家咖啡店见我。
Because if I go to the pound, I'm going to walk through, look at every animal, take every dog that's ready to be killed that day and bring them to the shelter.
因为如果我去收容所，我会走过去，看看每只动物，把当天准备被杀死的每只狗带到收容所。
I can't do that.
我不能那样做。
But I will.
但我会的。
So for me, I know the weakness.
所以对我来说，我知道自己的弱点。
The weakness is don't communicate.
缺点是不沟通。
Don't be there.
别在那里。
Just be removed.
就被移除吧。
I can't go over the next hill if I don't have the room.
如果没有房间，我就无法翻过下一座山。
Still, there's just this thing inside of me that pulls me and I go into the next hill.
尽管如此，我内心还是有一种东西在拉着我，我进入了下一座山。
And I find things all the time.
我总是能找到东西。
I always find somebody when I do that.
当我这样做时，我总是会找到人。
And this is my code.
这是我的代码。
And this is the way I live.
这就是我的生活方式。
My one message to animals is if you're hungry or if you're hurt, cross my path.
我给动物的一条信息是，如果你饿了或者受伤了，请穿过我的路。
That's my message.
这就是我的信息。
And since the day I said that, I was in Hollywood, I told you, and I'm walking down the street and cats are jumping out in front of me ever since then.
自从我这么说的那天起，我就在好莱坞，我告诉过你，我走在街上，从那时起，猫就在我面前跳出来。
I mean, my friends, nobody has this problem.
我的意思是，我的朋友们，没有人遇到这个问题。
I go down the street and they pop out of everywhere.
我走在街上，他们随处可见。
And they're limping or they're hungry or whatever.
他们一瘸一拐或者饿了或者其他什么。
And that makes me feel OK that I don't have to worry about did I miss one.
这让我感觉很好，我不必担心我是否错过了一个。
Because I'll say, no, he's OK because he didn't cross my path.
因为我会说，不，他很好，因为他没有横过我的路。
And it is the same way, it's the same thing when you have one that's very sick, making the same decision.
同样的道理，当你有一个病得很重的人时，也会做出同样的决定。
You tell me, what am I supposed to do?
你告诉我，我该怎么办？
I don't want you to suffer, but if you can make it, and do you want to make it, and all these other things being considered.
我不想让你受苦，但如果你能做到，你是否想做到，以及所有其他的事情都被考虑在内。
And still, even then, it has to be suffering with absolutely no prognosis.
但即使如此，它也必须遭受绝对没有预测的痛苦。
I have a dog at home that I got and it had distemper.
我家里养了一只狗，它得了犬瘟热。
It ended up this dog lost the use of its rear legs.
最终这只狗失去了后腿的使用能力。
The vet said put her down.
兽医说把她放下来。
No way, she lost the front legs.
没办法，她失去了前腿。
Now I'm carrying her in and out five times, six times a day.
现在我每天背着她进出五次，六次。
At night, I'm waking up twice to flip her over because she can't move.
晚上，我两次醒来把她翻过来，因为她动不了。
She had a heating pad on.
她身上贴着加热垫。
She couldn't regulate her heat.
她无法调节自己的体温。
Everybody except my wife that heard about it said it's insane.
除了我妻子之外，每个听说过这件事的人都说这太疯狂了。
We just stopped letting people know.
我们只是停止让人们知道。
The vet said, "How'd that dog do?" I said, "Oh, we put her down." I didn't tell them.
兽医问：“那只狗怎么样了？”我说：“哦，我们把她放下了。”我没有告诉他们。
Six weeks, I did this, back and forth.
六个星期，我反复这样做。
Because she wanted to make it.
因为她想成功。
There was just something about her.
她就是有一些东西。
One day, when I'm bouncing her up and down on her feet so she can get muscle tone, I'm bouncing her, and she's just limp.
有一天，当我用脚上下弹跳她的脚以便让她恢复肌肉张力时，我在弹跳她，但她只是一瘸一拐的。
And all of a sudden, a foot goes out to get her balance.
突然，一只脚伸出来让她保持平衡。
And it was the best thing-- Bailey put a foot out.
这是最好的事情——贝利伸出了一只脚。
Two weeks later, she could walk.
两周后，她可以走路了。
Now she's running, tearing up.
现在她一边跑，一边流泪。
We've had her a year and a half now of tearing up everything.
我们已经让她撕毁一切了一年半了。
I mean, she's just-- she always remembers that she was appealing to live.
我的意思是，她只是——她总是记得她渴望活下去。
And she just needed somebody to give her the chance.
她只是需要有人给她机会。
I give them everything I can if they want to make it.
如果他们想成功，我会尽我所能给他们一切。
If they want to live, there's something about it, they fight.
如果他们想活下去，他们就会战斗。
I fight with them.
我和他们一起战斗。
I have a cat at home.
我家里有一只猫。
He had leukemia.
他患有白血病。
He got cancer, he got lymphosarcoma.
他得了癌症，得了淋巴肉瘤。
He has tumors and he's building up with fluid.
他患有肿瘤并且体内积液。
And we did a special new surgery.
我们做了一个特殊的新手术。
We put a tube inside him.
我们在他体内放了一根管子。
And twice a day, I use that tube to pull fluid out of him.
每天两次，我用那根管子从他身上抽出液体。
He's in no pain and he purrs constantly.
他并不感到疼痛，并且不断地发出咕噜声。
He just purrs and purrs and purrs, and he eats.
他只是咕噜咕噜地咕噜咕噜地叫，然后就吃东西了。
And the most important thing is to make him well.
而最重要的是让他康复。
And even then, it's only for a few months.
即便如此，也只有几个月的时间。
I mean, you know he's going to get it eventually.
我的意思是，你知道他最终会得到它。
And I said, it's amazing, but we only really pay that kind of attention and that kind of devotion to them when they're in that kind of trouble.
我说，这太棒了，但只有当他们遇到那样的麻烦时，我们才会真正给予他们那样的关注和那样的奉献。
That could be it.
可能就是这样。
My wife has another answer.
我的妻子有另一个答案。
She says when they're that close to death, they become perfect.
她说，当他们如此接近死亡时，他们就会变得完美。
And that's the attraction.
这就是吸引力。
I don't know.
我不知道。
They're becoming-- they know more.
他们正在变得——他们知道得更多。
All of a sudden, they know.
突然间，他们就知道了。
They know what's going on.
他们知道发生了什么事。
They know here and beyond and they know what the hell we're doing caught up in the middle of the two.
他们知道这里和其他地方，他们知道我们夹在两者中间到底在做什么。
And they know something.
他们知道一些事情。
And whatever it is, it changes them.
不管是什么，它都会改变他们。
And they become worth more if that's possible.
如果可能的话，它们会变得更有价值。
I don't know.
我不知道。
Just give them every shot.
只要给他们每一次机会。
And let me see what's going on out there.
让我看看外面发生了什么。
[DOGS BARKING] Ira Glass That story from producer Jay Allison.
[狗吠] Ira Glass 制片人 Jay Allison 的故事。
Well, our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and myself, with Peter Clowney and Alix Spiegel.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由南希·厄普代克和我本人以及彼得·克劳尼和阿利克斯·斯皮格尔制作的。
Contributing editors Paul Tough, Jack Hitt, and Margy Rochlin.
特约编辑 Paul Tough、Jack Hitt 和 Margy Rochlin。
Music help today by John Conners.
今天的音乐帮助由约翰·康纳斯 (John Conners) 提供。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] If you would like a copy of this program, it only costs $10.
[致谢] 如果您想要一份该程序的副本，只需花费 10 美元。
You can call us at WBEZ in Chicago, 312-832-3380, 312-832-3380.
您可以致电芝加哥 WBEZ，电话：312-832-3380、312-832-3380。
Our email address, [email protected] .
我们的电子邮件地址，[电子邮件受保护]。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia, who does not want to be referred to as--
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 负责监督，他不想被称为——
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life .
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
Talk about the fall of man.
谈论人的堕落。
Talk about some father somewhere being crestfallen if he knew what his daughter was up to.
谈论某个地方的某个父亲如果知道他女儿在做什么，他会感到垂头丧气。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。