486: Valentine’s Day - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #486 | February 8, 2019 486: Valentine’s Day Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 486 集 | 2019 年 2 月 8 日 486：情人节 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass OK.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 好的。
So a couple of physicists walk into a bar.
几个物理学家走进一家酒吧。
Just kidding, they're not at the bar.
开玩笑，他们不在酒吧。
They're at a school.
他们在一所学校。
Scientists in training.
科学家们正在接受培训。
I'm sure this story seems strange to you.
我确信这个故事对你来说很奇怪。
But, to me, it was just-- you know, this is just like another day [LAUGHS] in the physics world.
但是，对我来说，这只是——你知道，这就像物理世界的又一天[笑]。
David Kestenbaum used to live in the physics world.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆曾经生活在物理世界。
These days, he lives in our world.
如今，他生活在我们的世界里。
He's a journalist-producer here at our show.
他是我们节目中的一名记者兼制片人。
But at the time of this story, he was getting a PhD in high energy particle physics at-- there's no way to avoid the name droppiness of what I'm about to say-- at Harvard University.
但在写这篇文章时，他正在哈佛大学获得高能粒子物理学博士学位——我将要说的这个名字无可避免地显得有些落俗。
But to paraphrase Us Magazine, Harvard physicists, in certain ways around the office, they're just like us.
但用《美国杂志》的话来说，哈佛物理学家在办公室的某些方面，他们就像我们一样。
There's always a time of day when someone made a pot of very strong coffee.
一天中总会有某个时候有人煮一壶很浓的咖啡。
And afterwards, everyone drank the coffee and then didn't quite want to work yet.
然后大家喝完咖啡就不太想干活了。
And so we all stood around and talked about various things.
所以我们都站在一起谈论各种事情。
You know, and there was a blackboard, or a whiteboard, or something there.
你知道，那里有一块黑板，或者一块白板，或者其他什么东西。
And we were talking about how nobody really had girlfriends.
我们正在谈论如何没有人真正有女朋友。
So, this being physics world, the next logical thing to do was to employ the power of mathematics to estimate the likelihood of finding a girlfriend.
因此，在物理世界中，下一个合乎逻辑的事情就是利用数学的力量来估计找到女朋友的可能性。
And so they start jotting down a calculation.
于是他们开始记下计算。
I guess it's sort of a variation on-- you know this thing called the Drake equation?
我想这是一种变体——你知道这个叫做德雷克方程的东西吗？
No. David Kestenbaum That is a way to estimate how many planets are out there that have intelligent life on them.
大卫·凯斯滕鲍姆（David Kestenbaum） 这是一种估算有多少颗行星上存在智慧生命的方法。
OK.
好的。
So in this Drake equation, apparently you start with how many stars are in the universe.
所以在这个德雷克方程中，显然你从宇宙中有多少颗恒星开始。
That is, all the places where there might be life, and then you subtract out all the stars that don't have planets around them, right?
也就是说，所有可能存在生命的地方，然后减去所有周围没有行星的恒星，对吧？
Because there can't be life there.
因为那里不可能有生命。
And then you subtract out all the planets that are too far from the sun, or too close to the sun to support life, and so on, and so on.
然后你减去所有距离太阳太远或太近而无法维持生命的行星，等等。
You get the idea.
你明白了。
Until finally you come up with the likelihood of a planet with life evolved to the point of intelligence.
直到最后你得出了一颗行星上有生命进化到智慧程度的可能性。
OK.
好的。
They ran the same kind of math now except-- and I realize this is going to sound a little strange.
他们现在进行同样的数学计算，除了——我意识到这听起来有点奇怪。
But he say they replaced intelligent life with girlfriends.
但他说他们用女朋友取代了智能生活。
So I think we started to do the calculation on the board.
所以我想我们开始在黑板上进行计算。
And can you look up what the population of Boston is?
你能查一下波士顿有多少人口吗？
Now Dave is asking me to look this up because at this point in our interview I actually made him run the math for me with real numbers that we got from the internet.
现在戴夫让我查一下这个，因为在我们采访的这一点上，我实际上让他用我们从互联网上获得的真实数字为我进行数学计算。
So he started with the population of Boston, because he and his fellow physics students wanted girlfriends in Boston, where they all lived.
所以他从波士顿的人口开始，因为他和他的物理系同学想要在波士顿找到女朋友，因为他们都住在那里。
The population of Boston, I found online, was a little under 600,000.
我在网上查到，波士顿的人口略低于 60 万。
So you start with 600,000, which sounds great, except that half of them are guys, right?
所以你从 600,000 开始，这听起来不错，只是其中一半是男性，对吧？
And I'm only interested in girls.
而且我只对女孩感兴趣。
OK.
好的。
So it's 300,000.
所以是30万。
David Kestenbaum And then I want people-- let's be honest, probably within 10 years of my age or something, right?
David Kestenbaum 然后我想要一些人——说实话，可能是比我年龄小 10 岁之内的人，对吧？
OK.
好的。
So 10 years on either side.
所以两边都是10年。
So that means--
所以这意味着——
I'm actually looking at some numbers here.
我实际上在这里查看一些数字。
It looks like if you go from 20 to 40, you're talking-- that's still like 35% of the population, a third or something.
看起来如果你从 20 岁增加到 40 岁，你仍然在谈论——这仍然是人口的 35%，三分之一左右。
So that means that out of 300,000 women, that leaves 100,000 in his age range.
因此，这意味着在 30 万女性中，剩下 10 万名女性属于他的年龄范围。
These being doctoral students they wanted girlfriends who were college grads.
这些是博士生，他们想要大学毕业生的女朋友。
Well, OK.
好吧，好吧。
About 25% of Americans over 25 years old have graduated from college.
25岁以上的美国人中约有25%已经大学毕业。
That knocks out roughly three-fourths of these women.
这使得这些女性中大约四分之三被淘汰。
Ouch.
哎哟。
Ira Glass So you're down to-- we were at 100,000.
Ira Glass：这么说，我们的人数是 100,000。
So you're down to 25,000.
所以你的人数减少到了 25,000。
Then you start applying stuff like, you know, how often are they single?
然后你开始应用诸如，你知道，他们单身的频率是多少？
Yeah.
是的。
Let's say half of them are single.
假设其中一半是单身。
So now you're down to 12,500.
所以现在您的人数已降至 12,500。
Yeah, see?
是啊，看到了吗？
It's getting scary now, right?
现在越来越可怕了，对吧？
And then, of course, you get to how many people are actually attractive to you.
当然，然后你就会知道有多少人真正对你有吸引力。
And even if you give a really high percentage-- like one in five, OK?
即使你给出的比例非常高——比如五分之一，好吗？
That knocks your pool of candidates down from 12,500 to 2,500.
这将使您的候选人人数从 12,500 人减少到 2,500 人。
Yeah.
是的。
David Kestenbaum That's just like a needle in a haystack.
David Kestenbaum 这就像大海捞针一样。
And that 2,500 is before you get to anything personal, like your religion, or how you see the world, what's your sense of humor.
这 2,500 是在你谈论任何个人的事情之前，比如你的宗教信仰，或者你如何看待世界，你的幽默感是什么。
So Dave and his fellow students are talking about this-- these rather kind of, you know, depressing numbers.
所以戴夫和他的同学们正在谈论这个——你知道，这些数字相当令人沮丧。
And one of the professors comes in.
一位教授进来了。
She's not married either.
她也没有结婚。
And so we start to draw it for her.
所以我们开始为她画它。
And then we started to say, well, OK, half of them are men.
然后我们开始说，好吧，其中一半是男性。
So we'd circle half.
所以我们要绕一半。
And then we'd say, well, what's the age group you're interested in?
然后我们会说，那么，您对哪个年龄段的人感兴趣？
And then we'd sort of circle a smaller subset.
然后我们会圈出一个较小的子集。
And then she had all these other requirements, like the guy had to be taller than her-- and she's pretty tall-- so that really limited things.
然后她还有所有这些其他要求，比如那个人必须比她高——而她很高——所以这真的很有限。
And then she said he had to be smarter than her.
然后她说他必须比她聪明。
You know, and she's a Harvard physics professor.
你知道，她是哈佛大学的物理学教授。
So that was even smaller.
所以那甚至更小。
And basically we got down to there being nobody.
基本上我们就决定没人了。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Ira Glass During this period of your life when you would think about these numbers, were you sure the entire time that there was somebody out there?
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 在您生命中的这段时期，当您思考这些数字时，您是否一直确定外面有人？
Yeah.
是的。
I don't know why.
我不知道为什么。
But, you know, at the beginning of every mathematical proof, people often write, assume that there exists X.
但是，你知道，在每个数学证明的开头，人们经常写道，假设存在 X。
[LAUGHS] Assume we have an infinite surface bound by something or whatever.
[笑]假设我们有一个无限的表面，被某物或其他东西所束缚。
It's like, assume there exists some girlfriend.
就像，假设有女朋友。
There is totally that act of faith underneath it.
这背后完全是一种信仰的行为。
Yeah.
是的。
But I had a more scientific view, which is that there are people out there, you know, who might be right for me.
但我有一个更科学的观点，那就是，你知道，有些人可能适合我。
And not just one person.
而且不仅仅是一个人。
That seemed like some-- in a silly novel or something.
这看起来像是——在一本愚蠢的小说之类的东西里。
You know?
你知道？
Yeah.
是的。
David Kestenbaum I don't believe there's just one-- if there were just one person out there, good luck!
David Kestenbaum 我不相信只有一个人——如果那里只有一个人，祝你好运！
They could speak Chinese, you know?
他们会说中文，你知道吗？
And they probably do, right?
他们可能会这样做，对吧？
What are the odds you're going to find them and the translator?
你找到他们和翻译的几率有多大？
You've got to believe there's more than one person.
你必须相信有不止一个人。
Well, today in our program we have stories of people who dare to believe that they have found that one person for them, even if it is just a pleasant lie, that there is just one person out there for each of us.
好吧，今天在我们的节目中，我们讲述了一些人的故事，他们敢于相信自己已经找到了一个适合自己的人，即使这只是一个令人愉快的谎言，但我们每个人都只有一个人。
They have chosen to believe that they need to look no further.
他们选择相信他们不需要再犹豫了。
And then they act on that belief, doing some things, I have to say, I bet you have never heard of people doing.
然后他们根据这个信念采取行动，做一些事情，我不得不说，我敢打赌你从来没有听说过人们这样做。
And they do these things because they just cannot stop themselves.
他们做这些事情是因为他们无法阻止自己。
Like every country song ever written would tell you, they have got no choice.
就像每首乡村歌曲都会告诉你的那样，他们别无选择。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
We first broadcast today's episode in 2013.
我们于 2013 年首次播出今天的节目。
We're running it again today because Valentine's Day is coming around again.
我们今天再次运行它，因为情人节又到了。
The population of Boston has grown since 2013 when we first did this show.
自 2013 年我们第一次做这个节目以来，波士顿的人口一直在增长。
It's now almost 700,000.
现在已经快70万了。
Meaning the odds of finding love there have gotten even worse, if you believe there's just one person for you.
这意味着，如果您相信只有一个人适合您，那么在那里找到真爱的可能性就会变得更糟。
So what if that's true?
如果这是真的呢？
Answers today.
今天给出答案。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, The Best Laid Plans.
第一幕，最佳计划。
Well, when you hear it the first couple did-- the thing that they decided to attempt-- I think one of the things that is the most incredible about it is the kind of couple they were when they did this, which is a really great couple.
好吧，当你听到第一对夫妇所做的事情时——他们决定尝试的事情——我认为最令人难以置信的事情之一就是他们这样做时的那种夫妇，这是一对非常伟大的夫妇。
We were always like the most solid of all the relationships of our friends and everything like that.
我们总是像所有朋友关系中最牢固的那样。
Kurt Braunohler met his girlfriend on the third day of college.
科特·布劳诺勒在大学第三天遇到了他的女朋友。
And, in all of the ways that we think of what makes a good relationship, I think that they were doing better than you, or me, or most people.
而且，在我们认为如何建立良好关系的所有方面，我认为他们都比你、我或大多数人做得更好。
They had a lot of fun together.
他们在一起玩得很开心。
They could talk about anything.
他们可以谈论任何事情。
They didn't really fight.
他们并没有真正打架。
Happy sex life.
快乐的性生活。
We really just got along very well together.
我们真的相处得很好。
We traveled well together.
我们一起旅行得很开心。
You know, we were always the kind of-- we were the place that friends would come when they are having hard times and they would stay with us.
你知道，我们一直是朋友遇到困难时会来的地方，他们会和我们在一起。
And we were kind of-- it felt like very adult.
我们有点——感觉非常成熟。
Even when I was 23, I felt like, I'm kind of married, even though neither of us had ever, ever discussed getting married.
即使在我 23 岁的时候，我也觉得，我已经结婚了，尽管我们从来没有讨论过结婚的事。
So what happened?
那么发生了什么？
Kurt Braunohler Well, after we had both turned 30, one day I just kind of was thinking about why we had never talked about getting married.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 嗯，在我们都年满 30 岁之后，有一天我在思考为什么我们从未谈论过结婚。
Like, we had never, ever talked about it seriously or otherwise.
就像，我们从来没有认真或以其他方式谈论过它。
And whenever anyone would ask us, we would always just kind of brush it off and say, oh, well, we're going to-- we'll get married when we have kids.
每当有人问我们时，我们总是会不屑一顾并说，哦，好吧，我们会——当我们有了孩子时我们就会结婚。
That's what we'd always say.
这就是我们常说的。
And I remember we were sitting in the living room and it was October.
我记得当时是十月，我们坐在客厅里。
And I just said, hey, I want to talk.
我只是说，嘿，我想谈谈。
And I said, why-- you know, why do you think we haven't gotten married yet?
我说，为什么——你知道，为什么你认为我们还没有结婚？
Or even talked about it?
或者甚至谈论过它？
And she just kind of looked at me and thought for a second.
她只是看着我，想了一会儿。
And then she said, well, I think that before we get married, we should probably sleep with other people.
然后她说，好吧，我认为在我们结婚之前，我们应该和其他人睡。
And-- and that-- you would imagine that that would come back as a huge shock to me, like hit me hard.
而且——还有——你会想象这会给我带来巨大的震惊，就像重击我一样。
But for some reason, it kind of-- it made sense to me.
但出于某种原因，这对我来说是有道理的。
I kind of was like, OK.
我有点想，好吧。
Very calmly.
非常平静。
And I guess the reason--
我猜原因是——
I've thought a lot about this.
我对此想了很多。
And I think that there's a few reasons.
我认为有几个原因。
We both had this kind of arrogant notion of our relationship-- that it could survive literally anything.
我们对我们的关系都有一种傲慢的观念——它可以经受住任何事情。
That we had been together-- we had known each other our whole adult lives.
我们一直在一起——我们在整个成年生活中都认识彼此。
We were each other's worlds.
我们是彼此的世界。
So really I don't think we thought that we could destroy this thing.
所以我真的不认为我们可以摧毁这个东西。
I talked to the girlfriend, who did not want to come on the radio.
我和女朋友谈过，她不想上广播。
And she said basically she'd only had two boyfriends in her life-- her high school boyfriend, who was not a good boyfriend at all, and Kurt, who was great.
她说她一生中基本上只有两个男朋友——一个是她高中时的男朋友，他根本不是一个好男朋友，另一个是科特，他很棒。
But she met Kurt, she said, when she was 17.
但她说，当她 17 岁时，她遇到了科特。
She was 30 when this happened.
这件事发生时她已经30岁了。
And she said that she felt like maybe she missed out on something in her 20s, experiences that other people had.
她说她觉得自己可能错过了20多岁时的一些事情，错过了其他人所拥有的经历。
And she didn't want to regret that.
她不想后悔。
A warning, I should say, before we go any further in this story.
在我们进一步讨论这个故事之前，我应该说一个警告。
We're going to acknowledge the existence of sex between adults.
我们将承认成年人之间性的存在。
Nothing explicit.
没有什么明确的。
Anyway, so they sat on the couch, and they talked this through.
不管怎样，他们坐在沙发上，讨论了这个问题。
The next part of that conversation was how-- the logistics.
谈话的下一部分是如何——后勤。
Do we break up?
我们分手吗？
Do I move out?
我要搬出去吗？
Do we just do this while we're living in the same house together?
我们只是在住在同一所房子里时才这样做吗？
And we kind of came up with this idea of borrowing this Amish concept called rumspringa.
我们想出了借用阿米什概念“rumspringa”的想法。
And rumspringa in the Amish world is when you're 16, you're allowed to be not Amish for two years.
阿米什世界的 rumspringa 是指当你年满 16 岁时，你可以在两年内不成为阿米什人。
And then when you turn 18, you decide whether or not you come back to the fold.
然后当你年满 18 岁时，你就可以决定是否重返职场。
Right.
正确的。
And during those two years, kids get drunk.
在那两年里，孩子们喝醉了。
They sleep around.
他们睡在周围。
They try drugs.
他们尝试吸毒。
They do lots of meth.
他们吸食大量冰毒。
Ira Glass They do lots of stuff.
Ira Glass 他们做了很多事情。
So we were going to have-- we decided to have a rumspringa from our relationship.
所以我们决定从我们的关系中喝一杯朗姆酒。
And that's the other crazy thing is that we decided that it-- 30 days was enough.
另一件疯狂的事情是我们认为 30 天就足够了。
Because probably within 30 days, sleeping with other people would get that all out of our system in 30 days.
因为可能在 30 天内，与其他人睡觉就会在 30 天内将所有这些都从我们的系统中清除。
Turns out it's really difficult to all of a sudden become single at 31, when you've never been single for your entire life.
事实证明，在 31 岁的时候突然单身真的很难，因为你一生都没有单身过。
Because all of a sudden, I'm in New York City and I'm single, and I essentially have the emotional tools of a 17-year-old boy.
因为突然之间，我就来到了纽约，而且我单身了，而且我本质上拥有了一个 17 岁男孩的情感工具。
Because the last time you'd dated was-- you were 17.
因为你最后一次约会是——你17岁。
The last time I dated I was in a dorm room.
上次约会是在宿舍里。
Yeah.
是的。
Kurt Braunohler Also it wasn't that I was just-- it wasn't like I was single in New York City.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 另外，我并不是在纽约单身。
Because being single in New York City is, I think, the majority of it is being just very lonely and being on your own, whereas this was very different.
我认为，因为在纽约单身，主要是因为非常孤独，独自一人，而这里却截然不同。
I was in a marathon.
我当时正在参加马拉松比赛。
I was in a race.
我当时正在参加一场比赛。
I was in-- I was in a 30-day race to sleep with as many people as I possibly could.
我在 30 天的比赛中与尽可能多的人上床。
Because after 30 days, I was going to go back and then get married.
因为30天后，我要回去然后结婚。
So--
所以——
Every single-- it was almost to the minute where I'd just be like, if I wasn't out somewhere trying to meet someone, I was like, this is wasted time.
每一个——几乎到了我就会想，如果我没有出去某个地方试图见某人，我就想，这是浪费时间。
I am wasting my time right now.
我现在正在浪费时间。
And also because of the fact that we were both-- my girlfriend and I were both very competitive with each other, that we didn't speak during that 30 days.
也因为我们——我和我女朋友都非常争强好胜，所以我们在那 30 天里没有说话。
But I think in both of our minds we had a competitive nature of being like, I need to sleep with more people than she does.
但我认为在我们俩的心里，我们都有一种竞争的本性，比如，我需要和比她更多的人上床。
And I think she felt the same way.
我想她也有同样的感觉。
That's true.
这是真的。
She did feel that way.
她确实有这样的感觉。
I asked her.
我问她。
So before they started the rumspringa, they took a last romantic trip together to New Orleans over New Year's.
因此，在开始朗姆酒之前，他们在新年期间一起去新奥尔良进行了最后一次浪漫的旅行。
And they had a great time.
他们玩得很开心。
And then on January 3, after they both cried a bit, Kurt moved out for a month.
1 月 3 日，他们都哭了一会儿后，科特搬出去住了一个月。
So, you know, suddenly single, 31, time clock ticking, where do you start, right?
所以，你知道，突然单身，31岁，时钟滴答作响，你从哪里开始，对吧？
Well, Kurt called this woman that he knew just a little bit and had a date on the very first or second night.
好吧，库尔特打电话给这个他只认识一点的女人，并在第一或第二天晚上就约会了。
He can't remember which it was.
他不记得那是什么了。
And at a dinner, he told her the entire situation.
并且在一次晚宴上，他把整个情况告诉了她。
He laid the whole thing out, that he was seeing somebody.
他把整件事都说了出来，他正在和某人约会。
They were taking this break to sleep around.
他们利用这个休息时间到处睡觉。
And this was a rule that he made for himself, that he was always going to be honest with any woman that he met during this month.
这是他为自己制定的一条规则，他永远要对这个月遇到的任何女人诚实。
He was going to be honest, upfront.
他会诚实、坦率。
That-- and that's the weird thing.
那——这就是奇怪的事情。
That's the thing that I still kind of-- when I think back on this time-- that I don't understand.
当我回想这段时间时，我仍然有点不明白这一点。
Like, I don't understand how these women that I met during that time heard the story and were like, OK.
就像，我不明白我在那段时间遇到的这些女性如何听到这个故事并且说，好吧。
Let's continue with this date.
让我们继续这个日期。
Well, what would they say?
好吧，他们会说什么？
Kurt Braunohler I think most of them-- the overwhelming response was like, wow?
库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 我想他们中的大多数人——压倒性的反应是，哇？
And I can't believe you're telling me this.
我不敢相信你会告诉我这些。
Kurt was staying on a futon on a friend's living room floor for the month in this apartment where there was no door between the living room and the bedroom where his friend was sleeping.
库尔特在这间公寓的朋友客厅地板上的蒲团上住了一个月，客厅和他朋友睡觉的卧室之间没有门。
And he brought this woman back on the first date.
第一次约会他就把这个女人带回来了。
And they made out a little bit.
他们亲热了一点。
And then they set another date.
然后他们又定了一个日期。
I think it was probably for the next night or the night after.
我想可能是第二天晚上或后天晚上。
Something like that.
类似的事情。
And what happens?
会发生什么？
Kurt Braunohler What do you mean?
库尔特·布劳诺勒 你什么意思？
What happens on the date?
约会时会发生什么？
I guess I mean, do you sleep with her?
我想我的意思是，你和她一起睡吗？
Since the whole point of this story is you trying to sleep with women.
因为这个故事的重点是你试图和女人上床。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass I mean, suddenly, I felt very, like, modest about asking.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass），我的意思是，突然之间，我对提问感到非常谦虚。
But, yeah, no. Did you sleep--
但是，是的，不。你睡了吗——
Yeah.
是的。
Kurt Braunohler Yeah.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 是的。
It was amazing.
太棒了。
It was-- yeah.
是的。
It totally turned my head around.
它完全改变了我的想法。
It really did feel like having experiences like I would imagine I would have had as a teenager.
确实感觉就像经历了我想象中的青少年时期一样。
You know?
你知道？
Where sex was this very powerful thing, and it kind of overwhelmed you.
性是一种非常强大的东西，它让你不知所措。
A day or two after that, he picks up a woman in a bar-- something he had never done before in his life.
一两天后，他在酒吧里约了一个女人——这是他一生中从未做过的事情。
And he goes home with her.
他和她一起回家。
And from there, he's off and running.
从那里开始，他就开始奔跑。
But, remember, he has the emotional tools of a 17-year-old.
但是，请记住，他拥有 17 岁孩子的情感工具。
I was emotionally getting involved with these women.
我在情感上与这些女人打交道。
And that was against one of our rules that we had come up with.
这违反了我们制定的一项规则。
My girlfriend and I had had a rule saying, no relationships.
我和我女朋友有一个规矩，就是不许恋爱。
We don't get into relationships with people.
我们不与人建立关系。
We're just going to go out and sleep with people to see what it's like.
我们只是要出去和人们一起睡觉，看看那是什么样子。
Oh, I see.
我懂了。
And then-- but you didn't actually know how to just go out and sleep with somebody without getting emotionally involved.
然后——但你实际上不知道如何在不涉及情感的情况下出去和某人睡觉。
Not at all.
一点也不。
I mean, the first date I went on, I immediately was, like, head over heels for her and I knew her for six hours.
我的意思是，我第一次约会时，我立刻就为她着迷，我认识了她六个小时。
And I didn't know how to date.
而且我不知道如何约会。
I didn't know how to date casually.
我不知道如何随意约会。
So what I really was doing was just getting involved-- I was acting like a person who had been in a 13-year relationship with these women that I had just met.
所以我真正做的就是参与其中——我表现得就像一个与我刚刚认识的这些女性已经有 13 年关系的人。
Like how does that mean?
比如这是什么意思？
What do you mean?
你是什么意思？
Immediately holding hands.
立刻牵着手。
I remember that my impulse would be to say, "I love you," during sex.
我记得在做爱时我的冲动是说“我爱你”。
[LAUGHS] That would be my impulse because that's the only way I was used to having sex.
[笑]那是我的冲动，因为这是我习惯做爱的唯一方式。
And I remember the first time that I did end up having sex, I started to say, I love you, and then just kind of swallowed it and made it seem like I was coughing.
我记得我第一次做爱时，我开始说，我爱你，然后就咽了下去，让我看起来像是在咳嗽。
[LAUGHS] And that wasn't-- and that didn't happen just once.
[笑]那不是——而且这种事不止发生过一次。
Kurt says it was just a month of incredibly intense feelings.
库尔特说，这只是一个充满令人难以置信的强烈感受的一个月。
He'd feel this crazy elation or he would find himself walking down the street weeping.
他会感到这种疯狂的喜悦，或者他会发现自己在街上哭泣。
The girlfriend told me that she, meanwhile, was having escapades of her own.
女朋友告诉我，与此同时，她也有自己的越轨行为。
She'd be out all night, drinking and dancing, going to exclusive clubs with Mexican high rollers, doing crazy things with European tourists.
她整晚都在外面喝酒跳舞，和墨西哥豪赌客一起去高级俱乐部，和欧洲游客一起做疯狂的事情。
It was just what she wanted actually.
这正是她真正想要的。
And both of them told me that the weirdest thing about that time was that the person that they wanted to talk to most about what was going on and share it with was each other.
他们俩都告诉我，那段时间最奇怪的事情是，他们最想谈论正在发生的事情并与之分享的人是彼此。
But of course they weren't speaking.
但他们当然没有说话。
Kurt says that one of the most amazing things to him, that was kind of a revelation during that time, was something-- I've never actually heard anybody talk about it out loud, but I totally related to this-- was how quickly he would find himself in the home of a complete stranger.
库尔特说，对他来说最令人惊奇的事情之一，那段时间是一种启示，是——我从未真正听到有人大声谈论过这件事，但我完全与此相关——是他很快就会发现自己身处一个完全陌生的家里。
Yeah.
是的。
I'd never gotten to see other people's apartments so much.
我从来没有这么频繁地参观过别人的公寓。
That's kind of what I was fascinating by, getting to see all these different people's apartments and seeing how everyone lives.
这就是让我着迷的地方，参观所有这些不同人的公寓并了解每个人的生活方式。
And I loved that.
我喜欢这样。
I loved that part of it so much.
我非常喜欢那部分。
You know, it's like-- I was like, look at this.
你知道，就像——我当时想，看看这个。
Like, I'm seeing-- this is all your stuff.
就像，我看到——这都是你的东西。
This is the stuff you keep on your bedside table.
这是你放在床头柜上的东西。
And also having like really weird experiences I'd never had before, like, of like, women picking me up.
还有我以前从未有过的非常奇怪的经历，比如，女人来接我。
I never experienced that before.
我以前从未经历过这种情况。
I was so confused.
我很困惑。
Because it was a bartender.
因为那是一个调酒师。
She was, like, a bartender.
她就像一个调酒师。
So she just kept giving me drinks, free drinks.
所以她就一直给我饮料，免费的饮料。
And I was like, why is this person-- why is she giving me all these free drinks?
我当时就想，为什么这个人——为什么她要给我这么多免费饮料？
But it is fascinating to see if you stay at the bar until 4:00 in the morning, then all of a sudden-- I'd never been aware of it before.
但如果你在酒吧呆到凌晨 4:00，然后突然间，这真是令人着迷——我以前从未意识到这一点。
But then I started looking around me like, oh, all these people are like pairing off.
但后来我开始环顾四周，哦，所有这些人都像是结对的。
Look at how this happens.
看看这是如何发生的。
Like I'd never been-- I've been at bars until 4:00 in the morning, but I was always-- it's all of a sudden like uncovering this whole level of single life in New York City that I had-- that I was just-- had not been aware of before.
就像我以前从未去过的那样——我一直在酒吧待到凌晨 4:00，但我总是——突然之间，我发现了纽约市单身生活的全部水平，而我——我只是——以前从未意识到过。
Anyone in New York City I feel like can have sex any night of the week if they just follow two rules-- which is, stay at the bar until 4:00 in the morning and dramatically lower your standards.
我觉得纽约市的任何人都可以在一周的任何晚上发生性行为，只要他们遵循两条规则——那就是在酒吧呆到凌晨 4:00 并大幅降低你的标准。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
So after a month, Kurt and his girlfriend get together and talk.
一个月后，库尔特和他的女朋友聚在一起聊天。
And they agree that a month was not enough for this.
他们一致认为一个月是不够的。
They said that it was just obvious the experiment hadn't run its course.
他们说，很明显实验没有按计划进行。
They both wanted more time.
他们都想要更多时间。
So they decided on a second month, which then becomes third month.
所以他们决定第二个月，然后变成第三个月。
And for Kurt, as time went on, it got harder and harder to stick with the rule that they had made of not getting into any relationships.
对于库尔特来说，随着时间的推移，遵守他们制定的不建立任何关系的规则变得越来越困难。
He's just muddling about, how to figure out how to do that.
他只是在胡思乱想，如何弄清楚如何做到这一点。
In his head he would think, like, when is something actually a relationship?
在他的脑海里，他会想，什么时候某件事才是真正的关系？
And I think in my head I was like, three dates.
我想在我的脑海里我就像是三个约会。
Three dates makes a relationship.
三次约会就建立了关系。
That's what I defined.
这就是我的定义。
And so then I would try to not see people for more than three times.
所以我会尽量不要见人超过三遍。
That was increasingly difficult.
这变得越来越困难。
It's difficult because he was giving women two opposite messages at the same time.
这很困难，因为他同时向女性传达了两种相反的信息。
He would tell them that he was just taking a month's break from his real relationship and this isn't serious.
他会告诉他们，他只是从真正的关系中休息一个月，这并不严重。
But then, he didn't hold back any of his feelings.
但随后，他就没有再压抑自己的感情了。
What I felt like kept happening was that I would act like I wanted to be their boyfriend, and then after three dates, would just abruptly end it with no explanation whatsoever.
我感觉不断发生的事情是，我会表现得好像我想成为他们的男朋友，然后在三次约会之后，会突然结束，没有任何解释。
And definitely-- definitely people would yell at me and call me names.
当然，人们肯定会对我大喊大叫，辱骂我。
And I feel-- to this day, I feel horrible about that.
我觉得——直到今天，我对此都感到可怕。
Because I was just-- I was acting like a crazy person.
因为我只是——我表现得像个疯子。
I was acting like a person with absolutely no boundaries.
我表现得像一个完全没有界限的人。
So it was hard to stop himself while it was going on.
所以在这件事发生的过程中，自己很难停下来。
And when we talked about it, Kurt's best explanation for that was--
当我们谈论这个问题时，库尔特对此最好的解释是——
Well, I once had a-- when I had a dog-- when I was a kid, I had a dog.
嗯，我曾经养过——当我养狗的时候——当我还是个孩子的时候，我养过一只狗。
And one day, the cat knocked a five pound bag of sugar off onto the floor.
有一天，猫把一袋五磅重的糖撞到了地板上。
And my dog was about nine pounds.
我的狗大约有九磅重。
He was a toy poodle.
他是一只玩具贵宾犬。
And he ate all five pounds of sugar in one day.
他一天就把五磅糖吃完了。
And then he was sick for, like, three days afterwards.
然后他病了大约三天。
But I always think about that day for him, how amazing that day must have been, like, eating all that sugar, and eating it, and then going away from it for a little while, and being like, I can't stop.
但我总是想起那一天对他来说，那一天一定是多么令人惊奇，就像，吃掉所有的糖，吃掉它，然后离开它一段时间，就像，我无法停止。
When is this going to happen again?
这种事什么时候会再次发生？
And then he just started vomiting and vomiting for three straight days.
然后他就开始呕吐，连续呕吐三天。
And that's how I felt, you know?
这就是我的感受，你知道吗？
Like, I knew this was bad.
就像，我知道这很糟糕。
But I was like, when is this ever going to happen again?
但我想，这种事什么时候才能再次发生？
I asked Kurt's girlfriend if all this happened to her during the rumspringa, too-- if it was hard just to have sex without emotion entering into it at all.
我问库尔特的女朋友，这一切是否也发生在她喝朗姆酒的时候——如果不带任何情感的情况下发生性行为会不会很困难。
And she said, absolutely not.
她说，绝对不是。
Quote, "You mean the dudes that I meet at bars, or parties, whatever?
引用：“你是指我在酒吧或聚会上遇到的那些家伙？
Those people?" She said, "I didn't tell anyone anything about my background or the situation."
那些人？”她说：“我没有告诉任何人任何有关我的背景或情况的事情。”
And I asked her, wait, so you wouldn't explain, I'm on a break from a relationship?
我问她，等等，所以你不会解释，我正在脱离一段关系？
She said, "No, because it sounds crazy." I told her that Kurt would reveal all of that, which she knew.
她说：“不，因为这听起来很疯狂。”我告诉她科特会透露所有这一切，她知道。
And she said, yeah, yeah, Kurt's way too open.
她说，是啊，是啊，库尔特太开放了。
But, quote, "That openness probably just made him more appealing to the ladies."
但是，引用一下，“这种开放性可能只会让他对女士们更有吸引力。”
By the end of three months, Kurt started to fall for this woman that he met in Australia.
三个月后，库尔特开始爱上他在澳大利亚遇到的这个女人。
And this time, really actually fall for her in a real way.
而这一次，是真正地爱上了她。
And this made him, of course, feel differently about his relationship with his girlfriend.
当然，这让他对自己和女友的关系有了不同的感觉。
So he flew back to the States, stayed at their old apartment, and because this is the most comfortable relationship that has ever existed between two people, of course, they dealt with it all right away.
于是他飞回美国，住在他们的旧公寓里，因为这是两个人之间最舒服的关系，所以他们当然马上就处理了。
Very straightforward.
非常简单。
And we woke up in the morning and we went and got brunch.
我们早上醒来就去吃早午餐。
And we brought it to the park, the way we'd always used to do on Saturdays.
我们把它带到公园，就像我们周六经常做的那样。
And we just sat in the park and talked.
我们只是坐在公园里聊天。
And we broke up.
我们分手了。
And that's the thing.
就是这样。
I can't I can't point to something that was bad about our relationship, except for knowing that I feel like it had run its course.
我不能，我不能指出我们关系中不好的地方，除了知道我觉得事情已经走到了尽头。
I mean, we organically got to the point where we both thought this was a good idea.
我的意思是，我们有机地达到了我们都认为这是一个好主意的地步。
This-- the rumspringa?
这个——朗斯普林加？
Kurt Braunohler It's almost like we-- the relationship had an expiration date, but we didn't know about it.
库尔特·布劳诺勒（Kurt Braunohler）：这几乎就像我们的关系有一个到期日，但我们不知道。
And then all of a sudden, we came up with this really complicated, crazy plan to put the test down at the right place where it would break.
然后突然间，我们想出了这个非常复杂、疯狂的计划，将测试放在它会崩溃的正确位置。
And it broke.
它坏了。
His old girlfriend said something similar.
他的前女友也说过类似的话。
She said she'd probably wanted out of the relationship before the rumspringa, but she was just too scared to admit it to herself.
她说她可能想在朗姆酒之前就结束这段关系，但她太害怕了，不敢向自己承认这一点。
The rumspringa gave them a way to break up.
朗斯普林加给了他们分手的机会。
Kurt says he would not want to do a rumspringa again.
库尔特说他不想再做朗斯普林加了。
But he came out of this experience believing that it is important to force things to a decision with someone, and that it's healthy for any relationship to be evaluated now and then.
但从这次经历中，他相信强迫某人做出决定是很重要的，而且时不时地评估任何关系都是健康的。
I do have a theory now.
我现在确实有一个理论。
I do have a theory about if I do get married in the future.
关于我将来是否结婚，我确实有一个理论。
What I think I would want to do is have an agreement that, at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue.
我想我想做的是达成协议，七年后我们必须再婚才能继续婚姻。
But at the end of seven years, it ends.
但七年后，一切就结束了。
And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried.
我们可以同意再婚或不再婚。
Why?
为什么？
Kurt Braunohler Because then I get-- I think you get to choose.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 因为那样我就会——我认为你可以选择。
And I think it makes the relationship-- would make the relationship stronger.
我认为这会让这种关系变得更加牢固。
I don't know what I think of that because I think, actually, one of the things that's a comfort in marriage is that there isn't a door at seven years.
我不知道我对此有何看法，因为我认为，实际上，婚姻中令人安慰的事情之一就是七年没有门。
And so if something is messed up in the short term, there's a comfort of knowing, like, well, we made this commitment.
因此，如果短期内出现问题，知道我们做出了这一承诺就会感到安慰。
And so we're just going to work this out.
所以我们要解决这个问题。
Like, if even if tonight we're not getting along or there's something between us that doesn't feel right, you have the comfort of knowing, like, we've got time.
就像，即使今晚我们相处得不好，或者我们之间有什么感觉不对劲，你也可以放心地知道，比如，我们还有时间。
We're going to figure this out.
我们会解决这个问题。
And that makes it so much easier.
这使得事情变得更加容易。
Because you do go through, like, times when you hate each other's guts.
因为你们确实经历过互相憎恨的时候。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Like--
就像——
Of course you do.
当然可以。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass And the no escape clause, weirdly, is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought, before I got married.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 奇怪的是，没有逃避条款对结婚来说比我结婚前想象的还要更大的安慰。
Yeah.
是的。
It's-- Kurt Braunohler I like thinking about it that way.
这是——库尔特·布劳诺勒（Kurt Braunohler），我喜欢这样思考。
You just see so many examples of where that-- of people-- where people don't think that way.
你会看到很多例子，说明人们不这么想。
Both Kurt and his girlfriend feel like the rumspringa got them where they needed to go as a couple, even if that place was different than they intended when they began the whole thing.
库尔特和他的女朋友都觉得朗姆酒让他们作为情侣到达了他们需要去的地方，即使那个地方与他们开始整件事时的预期不同。
Sometimes what you need to do next as a couple you can't even tell what it should be.
有时，作为夫妻，你们下一步需要做什么，您甚至不知道应该做什么。
And the best you can do is hold your breath, make a guess, and jump.
你能做的最好的事情就是屏住呼吸，猜测一下，然后跳下去。
It's actually been a few years since we first broadcast this story.
距离我们第一次播出这个故事实际上已经有几年了。
Today's show is a rerun.
今天的节目是重播。
Kurt and his girlfriend are now both happily married to other people, and each separately have children.
库尔特和他的女朋友现在都与其他人幸福地结婚了，并且各自有了孩子。
Things worked out fine.
事情进展顺利。
Kurt's on the TV show Black Monday and does stand up around the country, including this weekend at the Crocodile in Seattle.
库尔特出现在电视节目“黑色星期一”中，并且确实在全国各地站起来，包括本周末在西雅图的鳄鱼餐厅。
His tour schedule is at kurtbraunohler.com.
他的巡演时间表请访问 kurtbraunohler.com。
Coming up, love stories between a kid and someone who is not a kid, and a duck and someone who is not a duck, and Mike Birbiglia and someone who is not Mike Birbiglia.
接下来是一个孩子和一个不是孩子的人、一只鸭子和一个不是鸭子的人、迈克·比尔比利亚和一个不是迈克·比尔比利亚的人之间的爱情故事。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, for Valentine's Day, stories about people who believe in love, who believe they have found someone for them, and who take action.
今天在我们的情人节节目中，讲述了那些相信爱情、相信自己找到了爱人并采取行动的人们的故事。
We have arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two, 21 Chump Street.
第二幕，21 Chump Street。
A couple of years ago, at three high schools in Palm Beach County, Florida, a bunch of young police officers were sent undercover to pose as students.
几年前，在佛罗里达州棕榈滩县的三所高中，一群年轻警察被派去卧底冒充学生。
These were recent graduates of the police cadet program, and they blended right in.
这些都是刚从警校学员项目毕业的学生，他们很快就融入了这里。
They went to classes, they ate in the cafeteria.
他们去上课，在食堂吃饭。
They hung out on the basketball court during recess.
课间休息时他们在篮球场闲逛。
They had fake Facebook accounts, of course.
当然，他们有假的 Facebook 帐户。
They even took the state's standardized test, the FCAT.
他们甚至参加了该州的标准化考试 FCAT。
Police officers were there undercover because parents and principals had complained about drugs being sold at the schools.
警察在那里卧底，因为家长和校长抱怨学校出售毒品。
Only the principals at the schools knew of their presence.
只有学校的校长知道他们的存在。
No teachers knew it.
没有老师知道。
No parents knew it.
没有父母知道这一点。
Now, maybe it is hard to imagine a love story coming out of this situation, but one did.
现在，也许很难想象在这种情况下会产生一个爱情故事，但确实有一个。
A love story where somebody went out of his way, and took action at a key moment for love.
一个有人不遗余力，在关键时刻为爱采取行动的爱情故事。
We've told this story twice on our program.
这个故事我们已经在节目中讲过两次了。
Once we turned it into a musical, once as straight reporting.
有一次我们把它变成了一部音乐剧，曾经是直接报道。
That's what you're about to hear-- the straight reporting version.
这就是您将要听到的——直接报告版本。
Robbie Brown was a reporter with the New York Times when he first looked into this.
罗比·布朗（Robbie Brown）第一次调查此事时是《纽约时报》的记者。
The plan was called Operation D-Minus.
该计划被称为“D-减号行动”。
And one of the schools included in the plan was Park Vista Community High School, where a kid named Justin LaBoy, an 18-year-old honor roll student, was in the last semester of his senior year.
该计划中包括的学校之一是 Park Vista 社区高中，该校有一个名叫贾斯汀·拉博伊 (Justin LaBoy) 的 18 岁优等生，正在读高三最后一个学期。
And Justin could hardly believe his luck when a very pretty new girl-- everyone had noticed her-- showed up in not just one, but two of his classes.
当一个非常漂亮的新女孩——每个人都注意到了她——出现在他的一节课，而是两节课上时，贾斯汀简直不敢相信自己的运气。
The name that she used was Naomi.
她使用的名字是内奥米。
I think it was Naomi Rodriguez.
我认为是娜奥米·罗德里格斯。
And she sat in front of me, but then I sat next to her.
她坐在我前面，但后来我坐在她旁边。
So I started talking to her.
所以我开始和她说话。
Oh, hey.
哦，嘿。
My name is Justin, you know?
我叫贾斯汀，你知道吗？
Oh, I'm Naomi.
哦，我是娜奥米。
I'm from New York.
我来自纽约。
This and that.
这个和那个。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
Me too.
我也是。
And I had a hat that said New York on it, too, because I was trying to show her that I wasn't lying or faking it.
我有一顶帽子，上面也写着纽约，因为我试图向她表明我没有撒谎或假装。
She said she was from Queens.
她说她来自皇后区。
I'm from the Bronx.
我来自布朗克斯。
And she was Puerto Rican and Dominican.
她是波多黎各人和多米尼加人。
And that's what caught me even more.
这就是更吸引我的地方。
I was like, oh, man.
我当时想，哦，伙计。
OK.
好的。
And then I was Puerto Rican, and I was talking to her a little Spanish.
然后我是波多黎各人，我用一点西班牙语和她说话。
And she talked to me a little Spanish.
她跟我说了一点西班牙语。
And then we just-- I just got really close to her.
然后我们就——我和她变得非常亲近。
I got attached real quick.
我很快就粘上了。
I was like, wow, look at this, you know?
我当时想，哇，看看这个，你知道吗？
What did she look like?
她长什么样？
Justin Laboy She was about 5'4, black straight hair, light skinned.
贾斯汀·拉博伊 (Justin Laboy) 她身高约 5 英尺 4 英寸，黑色直发，浅色皮肤。
She was mature in the body-wise.
她的身体已经成熟了。
So I mean, that caught a lot of people's attention.
所以我的意思是，这引起了很多人的注意。
But the things that she did that I thought that made her a real student was that she would sleep in class.
但我认为她所做的事情让她成为一个真正的学生，那就是她会在课堂上睡觉。
She wouldn't do her homework.
她不肯做作业。
I would have to wake her up all the time.
我必须一直叫醒她。
Be like, hey, listen.
就像，嘿，听着。
Wake up.
醒来吧。
You're going to get in trouble.
你会遇到麻烦的。
Hey, oh, you didn't do your homework?
哎呀，你作业没做吗？
OK, I'll let you copy my homework.
好吧，我让你抄我的作业。
OK.
好的。
Because I mean, I take my classes, you know, seriously, you know?
因为我的意思是，我认真上课，你知道吗？
But with her?
但和她在一起呢？
It was different.
这是不同的。
I was just like, oh, man.
我当时就想，哦，伙计。
You know, wow, you know.
你知道，哇，你知道。
She's cute.
她很可爱。
I could talk to her, you know?
我可以和她谈谈，你知道吗？
I'll get in trouble once in a while.
我偶尔会遇到麻烦。
They'd be like, Justin, stop talking.
他们会说，贾斯汀，别说话了。
I'd be like, OK.
我会说，好吧。
Justin's a good looking guy, popular and well-liked.
贾斯汀是一个英俊的小伙子，很受欢迎，很受欢迎。
He'd had girlfriends before, but nothing that lasted.
他以前也有过女朋友，但都没有长久。
Nothing that seemed worth holding on to.
似乎没有什么值得坚持的。
But Naomi seemed different.
但内奥米似乎有所不同。
She was a good listener.
她是一个很好的倾听者。
She didn't seem to gossip or play games.
她似乎不八卦，也不玩游戏。
She seemed very adult.
她看起来很成熟。
It's the maturity level that I really cared for.
这是我真正关心的成熟度水平。
And-- OK, I told her a lot of my feelings.
而且——好吧，我告诉了她很多我的感受。
You know, I told her how I felt for her.
你知道，我告诉她我对她的感觉。
I mean, I'm not the type of person to open up to you unless we have a really good relationship.
我的意思是，除非我们的关系非常好，否则我不是那种会对你敞开心扉的人。
And [LAUGHS] I was just opening up so much.
[笑]我只是敞开心扉。
And I told her about all my whole life story, about my parents.
我告诉她我一生的故事，关于我父母的故事。
I told the problems I had.
我说出了我遇到的问题。
What was it about her that made you trust her?
她身上的什么让你信任她？
That made you feel like you could open up to her?
这让你觉得你可以向她敞开心扉？
She had told me that she lived-- she came up here with her mother, that they was having problems in New York.
她告诉我，她和她母亲一起来到这里，他们在纽约遇到了问题。
So you know, they came over here to Florida to settle down, to have a better life.
所以你知道，他们来到佛罗里达定居是为了过上更好的生活。
And little stuff like that, to telling people, I believe that, oh, wow.
像这样的小事，告诉人们，我相信，哦，哇。
You know, OK, since you're telling me stuff like this, then I could tell you about my life.
你知道，好吧，既然你告诉我这样的事情，那么我就可以告诉你我的生活。
Yeah.
是的。
You know, I'm having hard troubles with this person right here.
你知道，我和这个人在一起遇到了麻烦。
Or I'm having trouble with my parents, or stuff-- little stuff like that makes people bond together, you know?
或者我和父母之间有矛盾，或者诸如此类的小事让人们团结在一起，你知道吗？
Justin believed he was seeing signs that Naomi was starting to like him-- like him, like him.
贾斯汀相信他看到了娜奥米开始喜欢他的迹象——喜欢他，喜欢他。
They walked together in the halls.
他们一起在大厅里散步。
They would text during class.
他们会在课堂上发短信。
He says she even let him kiss her on the cheek.
他说她甚至让他亲吻她的脸颊。
And he serenaded her in front of their entire class.
他在全班同学面前为她唱了小夜曲。
I'd be like, oh, I'm going to sing you a song.
我会想，哦，我要给你唱首歌。
She'd be like, oh, OK.
她会说，哦，好吧。
And then I'll just start singing.
然后我就开始唱歌。
And then I'll get all blushed up.
然后我就会脸红。
I'll be like, ah, man, what am I doing?
我会说，啊，伙计，我在做什么？
OK.
好的。
Let me continue.
让我继续。
I'll start rapping to her, and I'll start singing.
我会开始对她说唱，然后开始唱歌。
And I mean, I even danced, too.
我的意思是，我什至也跳舞了。
So I danced for her, and I did--
所以我为她跳舞，我做到了——
You really liked this girl.
你真的很喜欢这个女孩。
Justin Laboy Man, it tore me apart.
贾斯汀·拉博伊 伙计，这让我心碎。
I was like, oh my god.
我当时想，天啊。
So you felt like all the signs-- all the signs were good.
所以你感觉所有的迹象——所有的迹象都很好。
Oh, of course.
哦，当然。
I felt all the signs were good because I never got a diss-- a non-sign.
我觉得所有的迹象都很好，因为我从来没有受到过批评——没有迹象。
So, therefore, I was just like, OK.
因此，我就想，好吧。
Everything's good.
一切都很好。
You know, I know I'm taking it slow.
你知道，我知道我会慢慢来。
You know, I know I'm taking it good.
你知道，我知道我接受得很好。
You know, usually it doesn't take me that long to get a girlfriend when I start talking to them.
你知道，当我开始和女朋友聊天时，通常我不需要那么长时间就能找到女朋友。
So when it took me-- I found it kind of odd that, you know, I was like, wow, you know, I'm such a great dude, and, you know, we're hanging out, you know?
所以当我——我发现有点奇怪，你知道，我当时想，哇，你知道，我是一个很棒的家伙，而且，你知道，我们在一起闲逛，你知道吗？
What's the next step, you know?
下一步是什么，你知道吗？
I don't care about sex, or anything.
我不关心性，什么的。
I just want to know if you're going to be mine.
我只是想知道你是否会属于我。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
I mean, me, I love that.
我的意思是，我，我喜欢这样。
So it attracted me even more.
所以更加吸引我了。
I was like, oh, my-- I love girls that guys can't have.
我当时想，哦，天哪——我爱男人无法拥有的女孩。
So I'm like, oh, this is awesome.
所以我想，哦，这太棒了。
And in hindsight, she was probably playing hard to get for a different reason.
事后看来，她可能出于不同的原因而欲擒故纵。
All of this built up, inevitably, to Justin asking Naomi to prom.
所有这一切不可避免地是贾斯汀邀请内奥米参加舞会。
Yeah.
是的。
You know, she's a senior.
要知道，她已经是前辈了。
I'm a senior.
我是一名前辈。
Our last year.
我们的最后一年。
I don't know where we're going to be after this.
我不知道这之后我们会去哪里。
So let me just step up, and be a man, and do what I got do.
所以，让我挺身而出，做一个男人，做我该做的事。
So I went up to her in class and I was like, listen, you know, I know you don't know anybody in this school that much.
所以我在课堂上走到她面前，我说，听着，你知道，我知道你在这所学校里对任何人都不了解。
And I don't want to go with anybody in the school.
我不想和学校里的任何人一起去。
And you know, I feel really attracted to you.
你知道，我真的被你吸引了。
Would you like to come with me to prom?
你愿意和我一起去参加舞会吗？
Oh, that sounds nice.
哦，听起来不错。
OK.
好的。
Excuse me, let me think about it.
对不起，让我考虑一下。
I was blushing red.
我当时脸都红了。
I was like, oh, my god.
我当时想，哦，天啊。
What if she says no?
如果她说不怎么办？
What if she says yes?
如果她说是怎么办？
And after she gave me the OK, yeah, you know, around the more of a yes side, I was-- OK.
在她给了我“好”的答复之后，是的，你知道，在更多的是“是”方面，我是——好的。
I was good.
我很好。
Good.
好的。
You know, prom was coming up and-- I mean, I guess he needed a date.
你知道，舞会快到了——我是说，我猜他需要约会。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
I interviewed the undercover officer who played Naomi.
我采访了扮演娜奥米的卧底警官。
She's a 25-year-old new recruit with the Palm Beach school's police force.
她是棕榈滩学校警察部队的一名 25 岁新兵。
She wouldn't give me her real name, and only agreed to a phone interview, if her supervising sergeant could listen in.
她不愿透露自己的真实姓名，只同意在她的上级警官可以旁听的情况下接受电话采访。
She wouldn't talk to me about any specific cases or kids at the school, including Justin.
她不会和我谈论任何具体案件或学校里的孩子，包括贾斯汀。
But she did confirm that she was asked to prom.
但她确实证实她被邀请参加舞会。
She doesn't remember it quite the way Justin does, though.
但她并不像贾斯汀那样记得那件事。
Mainly, she says she didn't say yes.
主要是，她说她没有答应。
I told him I wasn't going, just because-- since this is not where I spent the last three years of high school, I didn't really want to go to the prom.
我告诉他我不会去，只是因为——因为这不是我高中最后三年度过的地方，所以我真的不想去参加舞会。
And I had to pay for the ticket and everything else, so I was like, nah, it's too much money for me.
我必须支付门票和其他一切费用，所以我想，不，这对我来说太多了。
And he bought it.
他买了它。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Justin and Naomi didn't end up going to prom, of course, partly because of what happened next.
当然，贾斯汀和内奥米最终没有去参加舞会，部分原因是接下来发生的事情。
One day at the beginning of April, after Naomi had been at school for about three months, she and Justin had a conversation about drugs.
四月初的一天，内奥米上学大约三个月后，她和贾斯汀谈论了毒品问题。
She asked me if I smoked.
她问我是否抽烟。
And I told her, no, I do not smoke.
我告诉她，不，我不抽烟。
But if you need anything, I'll be more than happy to help you out.
但如果您需要任何帮助，我会非常乐意为您提供帮助。
So you know, like I said, I'm not a drug dealer.
所以你知道，就像我说的，我不是毒贩。
I don't-- it's hard for me to get drugs at all.
我不——对我来说获得毒品根本就很难。
So it's not like she told me this day, and then I got it for her the very next day.
所以这不像她今天告诉我，然后我第二天就给她拿到了。
You know, it took me a while, you know?
你知道，我花了一段时间，你知道吗？
She would text me, and I would text her.
她会给我发短信，我也会给她发短信。
She would be like, do you have it yet?
她会说，你有吗？
No, I don't have it at the moment right now.
不，我现在没有。
And she'll be at school, hey, do you have that yet?
她会去学校，嘿，你有吗？
No, I don't have it right now.
不，我现在没有。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
You know, I'm sorry.
你知道，我很抱歉。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
I'm really trying like my hardest to get it.
我真的尽了最大的努力去得到它。
And I can't get it, you know, because I like the girl, so--
我无法得到它，你知道，因为我喜欢这个女孩，所以——
What are you thinking as you're trying to get this pot to sell to her?
当你试图把这个罐子卖给她时，你在想什么？
I'm thinking, what the heck am I doing?
我在想，我到底在做什么？
[LAUGHS] Like I never-- I never done this in this school before.
[笑]就像我以前从未在这所学校这样做过一样。
So I'm really scared and skeptical about it, too, at the same point.
所以我同时也对此感到非常害怕和怀疑。
And I'm like, oh, man.
我想，哦，伙计。
OK.
好的。
OK.
好的。
So I'm asking my homeboy.
所以我才去问我老家的。
And my friend's like, no, I don't know-- I don't know because I don't hang out with guys like that.
我的朋友说，不，我不知道——我不知道，因为我不和这样的人一起出去玩。
Maybe Justin didn't know guys like that and maybe he did.
也许贾斯汀不认识这样的人，也许他认识。
The police say he told Naomi he smoked pot.
警方称他告诉内奥米他吸大麻。
Justin says he was just trying to seem cool to impress her.
贾斯汀说他只是想表现得很酷，以给她留下深刻印象。
But what's certain is he did find somebody who would sell to him-- a person his cousin knew, he says.
但可以肯定的是，他确实找到了愿意卖给他的人——他的表弟认识的人，他说。
So a couple days after they first talked about it, Justin brought a rolled up baggie of marijuana to school for Naomi.
因此，在他们第一次谈论这件事几天后，贾斯汀给娜奥米带来了一袋卷起的大麻到学校。
And I was petrified.
我吓呆了。
I was like, oh, my god.
我当时想，哦，天啊。
I'm actually going to do this.
我实际上要做这个。
So we was in class.
于是我们就去上课了。
And I sat right next to her, and she was like, hey, do you have that?
我坐在她旁边，她说，嘿，你有那个吗？
And I was like, you know what?
我当时想，你知道吗？
Yeah, I do.
是的，我愿意。
And I was like, OK, we're going to wait in a few.
我当时想，好吧，我们要等一会儿。
We're going to wait a few.
我们要等几个。
Because I'm not going to be like, oh, hey, give it to her in her hand, slide it to her.
因为我不会说，哦，嘿，把它递给她手里，滑给她。
But she was like, OK.
但她说，好吧。
Put it in my purse.
把它放进我的钱包里。
OK.
好的。
She put her purse on top of my desk.
她把钱包放在我的桌子上。
And then I put-- slid it right in there She goes, OK.
然后我把它滑进去，她走了，好吧。
Now take the money.
现在拿钱吧。
I was like, no, I don't need the money.
我当时想，不，我不需要钱。
It's OK.
没关系。
Just have it.
就拥有它吧。
You can take it.
你可以接受。
She goes, no, please.
她走了，不，拜托。
Take the money.
拿钱吧。
You know, you make me feel bad.
你知道，你让我感觉很糟糕。
So 10 minutes passed, and then we're still arguing about it.
10分钟过去了，我们还在争论。
I'm like, please.
我就像，拜托。
No, I don't want the money, you know?
不，我不要钱，你知道吗？
And she goes, no, just take the money.
她说，不，只要拿钱就可以了。
Take the money.
拿钱吧。
Please, take the money.
请收下钱吧
It would make me feel better.
这会让我感觉好一些。
I'm just like, OK, you know what?
我只是想，好吧，你知道吗？
Just so you could just shut up, I'll take the money, you know?
为了让你闭嘴，我会拿钱，知道吗？
Don't worry, you know?
别担心，你知道吗？
You're making me feel bad now that I'm taking money from you.
现在我从你那里拿钱，你让我感觉很糟糕。
And this was at school?
这是在学校吗？
Justin Laboy Yes.
贾斯汀·拉博伊 是的。
Justin would later find out it's a felony in Florida to sell marijuana.
贾斯汀后来发现在佛罗里达州出售大麻是重罪。
And the penalty is even harsher for selling it on school property.
在学校财产上出售的处罚甚至更严厉。
In other words, Justin had made an irreversibly bad decision.
换句话说，贾斯汀做出了一个不可挽回的错误决定。
The worst decision of his life, he says.
他说，这是他一生中最糟糕的决定。
And since he was over 18, he was legally an adult when he made it.
由于他已经超过 18 岁，从法律上来说他已经是成年人了。
Finally, in May, the police did a big sweep.
终于，到了五月，警方进行了一次大扫荡。
They arrested 31 people at several schools, almost all of them students who had sold small amounts of marijuana.
他们在几所学校逮捕了 31 人，几乎都是出售少量大麻的学生。
Justin was one of them.
贾斯汀就是其中之一。
And they said that I had sold to the undercover cop.
他们说我已经卖给了卧底警察。
And I'm-- I'm weirded out.
我——我很奇怪。
I'm like, whoa, who did I ever sell to?
我想，哇，我卖给谁了？
And then it just popped into my head that the only person that I ever did give anything to was this female.
然后我突然想到，我唯一给予过任何东西的人就是这个女人。
And I was just-- I was shocked.
我只是——我很震惊。
I was-- I-- my emotions were running.
我——我——我的情绪在奔腾。
And I was just like, oh, my god.
我当时就想，哦，天哪。
This is so mean.
这太卑鄙了。
This is all messed up.
这一切都一团糟。
How can she do this, you know?
她怎么能这么做，你知道吗？
I mean, if it was a guy doing this, if a guy ever tried to come up to me like this, I would have put him-- put my hand in his face, straight up and said, no. Get out of my face.
我的意思是，如果是一个人这样做，如果一个人试图像这样走到我身边，我会把他——把手放在他的脸上，直接说，不。从我面前滚出去。
Please, get out of my face.
请从我面前滚出去。
I don't associate with that, you know?
我不参与其中，你知道吗？
But it's just the female-- it's a different feeling that you get for female than you would when you have your homeboy, or a guy come up to you and ask you a question like that.
但这只是女性——你对女性的感觉与当你有男朋友时的感觉不同，或者当一个男人走到你面前问你这样的问题时。
Oh, hey.
哦，嘿。
Do you smoke?
你抽烟吗？
No, no, I don't.
不，不，我不。
Get out of here.
离开这里。
It was a different feeling that when you get from a girl you like, you know, you're not going to turn down your-- the person that you want to be with.
这是一种不同的感觉，当你从一个你喜欢的女孩那里得到时，你知道，你不会拒绝你想与之在一起的人。
When I talked to the officer who plays Naomi, she said she had no regrets about her undercover work.
当我与扮演内奥米的警官交谈时，她说她对自己的卧底工作并不后悔。
She's a cop, and she sees it the way a cop does.
她是一名警察，她以警察的方式看待这件事。
These kids need to wake up.
这些孩子需要醒来。
They need to realize they can't be doing this.
他们需要意识到他们不能这样做。
And using undercover officers has gotten results.
而使用便衣也收到了效果。
The police in Palm Beach County tried the same tactics again at another group of schools last semester.
上学期，棕榈滩县警方在另一组学校再次尝试了同样的策略。
So far, they've arrested more than 80 people.
到目前为止，他们已经逮捕了80多人。
All have plead guilty to charges ranging from selling cocaine and pills to bringing weapons on school property.
所有人都承认了从出售可卡因和药丸到在学校财产中携带武器等指控。
Justin took a plea deal-- three years probation in exchange for pleading guilty to the felony charge.
贾斯汀接受了认罪协议——缓刑三年，以换取对重罪指控的认罪。
His lawyer told him that if he went to trial, it would be his word against Naomi's.
他的律师告诉他，如果他接受审判，他的诺言将与内奥米的诺言相悖。
And they disagreed about the drug deal.
他们对毒品交易的看法也不一致。
He says she kept asking him to sell her marijuana.
他说她一直要求他卖掉她的大麻。
She says he brought it up first.
她说是他先提出来的。
He says she insisted he take money for it.
他说她坚持要他付钱。
She says he just took the money without prompting.
她说他只是在没有提示的情况下拿了钱。
Either way, the police had Justin's text messages telling Naomi he would get marijuana for her.
不管怎样，警方收到了贾斯汀的短信，告诉内奥米他会为她买大麻。
So Justin's lawyer advised him, just take the plea.
所以贾斯汀的律师建议他，接受抗辩吧。
But before the deal came through, he spent more than a week in jail, going over and over in his mind what had happened, and still thinking in spite of himself about Naomi.
但在交易达成之前，他在监狱里呆了一个多星期，脑子里一遍又一遍地回忆着发生的事情，但仍然不由自主地想起娜奥米。
I would have a good time when I would be with her.
当我和她在一起时，我会度过一段美好的时光。
And I would be with her, like, all the time.
我会一直和她在一起。
And that's why when all this collapsed and caved in, I felt-- I felt so like-- it just hurt.
这就是为什么当这一切崩溃、塌陷时，我感觉——我感觉很像——很痛。
No, not-- Robbie Brown --since you were arrested?
不，自从你被捕后，罗比·布朗就没有？
Not at all.
一点也不。
Robbie Brown Have you tried to send her any messages?
罗比·布朗 你试过给她发消息吗？
No. I don't have any contact with her whatsoever.
不，我和她没有任何联系。
If I would, I would love to have a conversation with her.
如果可以的话，我很想和她谈谈。
You know?
你知道？
And no disrespect, or anything.
也没有任何不尊重，或者其他什么。
What would you tell her?
你会告诉她什么？
Justin Laboy I would tell her, what the heck did she do?
贾斯汀·拉博伊 我会告诉她，她到底做了什么？
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Justin had planned to go into the Air Force after high school.
贾斯汀原计划高中毕业后加入空军。
He said he wanted to make something out of his life.
他说他想从自己的生活中创造一些东西。
Now with a felony conviction, the armed forces, any part of it, was off the table.
现在，随着重罪被定罪，武装部队，无论是其中的任何一部分，都不再被考虑。
Justin is applying to community college.
贾斯汀正在申请社区大学。
He says now the whole thing seems kind of unbelievable.
他说现在整件事看起来有点难以置信。
He was an honor roll student, a first time offender, with no criminal record.
他是一名优等生，初犯，没有犯罪记录。
And of all the high schools, in all the towns in all the world, she walked into his.
在世界上所有城镇的所有高中中，她走进了他的高中。
Robbie Brown, these days he works at Bloomberg Media.
罗比·布朗，目前在彭博媒体工作。
Regular listeners to our program know the composer Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a mini musical based on the story that you just heard.
我们节目的常客都知道作曲家林-曼努尔·米兰达根据您刚刚听到的故事创作了一部迷你音乐剧。
And it's really something.
这真的很重要。
A video of it is at our website, ThisAmericanLife.org.
我们的网站 ThisAmericanLife.org 上有该视频的视频。
Act Three: Cold Stone Dreamery Ira Glass Act Three, Cold Stone Dreamery.
第三幕：冷石梦想 艾拉·格拉斯 第三幕，冷石梦想。
This next story, like that last one we just heard, is about a guy who yearns for someone-- yearns-- and this someone is not giving him much back.
下一个故事，就像我们刚刚听到的上一个故事一样，是关于一个人渴望某人——渴望——而这个人并没有给他太多回报。
This story is from Ben Loory.
这个故事来自本·洛里。
A duck fell in love with a rock.
一只鸭子爱上了一块石头。
It was a large rock-- about the size of a duck, actually, that was situated off the bank of the river, a little past the old elm.
那是一块大石头——实际上大约有鸭子那么大，位于河岸边，离老榆树不远。
Every day after lunch, the duck would saunter off to admire the rock for a while.
每天午饭后，鸭子都会漫步到岩石上欣赏一会儿。
Where are you going?
你要去哪里？
said the other ducks.
其他鸭子说。
Nowhere, said the duck.
无处可去，鸭子说。
Just around.
就在附近。
But the other ducks knew exactly where he was going and they all laughed at him behind his back.
但其他鸭子清楚地知道他要去哪里，他们都在背后嘲笑他。
Stupid duck is in love with a rock, they snickered.
傻鸭子爱上了一块石头，他们窃笑道。
Wonder what kind of ducklings they will have.
想知道他们会生出什么样的小鸭子。
But there was one duck-- a girl duck-- who did not laugh.
但有一只鸭子——一只小鸭子——没有笑。
She had known the strange duck for a long time and had always found him to be a good and decent bird.
她认识这只奇怪的鸭子很久了，一直觉得他是一只善良而正派的鸟。
She felt sorry for him.
她为他感到难过。
It was hard luck to fall in love with a rock.
爱上一块石头是一件很不幸的事。
She wanted to help, but what could she do?
她很想帮忙，可是她能做什么呢？
She trailed after the duck and watched him woo the rock from behind a tree.
她跟在鸭子后面，看着它从树后向石头求爱。
I love you, the duck was saying.
我爱你，鸭子说。
I love you.
我爱你。
I love you.
我爱你。
I love you.
我爱你。
I love you more than the stars in the sky.
我爱你胜过爱天上的星星。
I love you more than the fish in the river.
我爱你胜过爱河里的鱼。
I love you more than-- more than-- and there he stopped, for he could think of nothing else that existed.
我爱你胜过——胜过——然后他停了下来，因为他想不出还有什么其他的存在。
Life itself?
生命本身？
said the girl duck from behind the tree.
女孩从树后躲开说道。
She hadn't meant to pipe up.
她本来不想插话的。
The words just sort of leaped out of her.
这句话简直是从她嘴里蹦出来的。
The duck spun around to look at her.
鸭子转过身来看着她。
He was terrified.
他很害怕。
It's OK, said the girl duck, waddling out from behind the tree.
没关系，小鸭子说着，从树后摇摇晃晃地走了出来。
I know you're in love with the rock.
我知道你爱上了这块石头。
In fact, everyone knows.
其实大家都知道。
They do?
他们这样做吗？
said the duck.
鸭子说。
Yes, said the girl duck.
是的，鸭子女孩说。
Yes, they do.
是的，他们确实这么做了。
The duck sighed and sat down on the ground.
鸭子叹了口气，坐到了地上。
If he had had hands, he would have buried his head in them.
如果他有手，他一定会把头埋进双手里。
What am I going to do?
我要做什么？
he said.
他说。
What am I going to do?
我要做什么？
Do?
做？
the girl duck said.
鸭子姑娘说道。
How can it go on like this?
怎么可以这样下去呢？
said the duck.
鸭子说。
I love a thing that cannot speak, cannot move, cannot-- I don't even know how it feels about me.
我喜欢一个不能说话、不能移动、不能——我什至不知道它对我有什么感觉的东西。
The girl duck looked at the rock.
小鸭子看着岩石。
She didn't know what to say.
她不知道该说什么。
I know, said the duck, you think I'm crazy.
我知道，鸭子说，你认为我疯了。
You think it's just a rock.
你以为它只是一块石头。
But it isn't just a rock.
但它不仅仅是一块石头。
It's different.
这是不同的。
It's very different.
这是非常不同的。
He looked at the rock.
他看着岩石。
But something has to happen, he said, and soon, because my heart will break if this goes on much longer.
但有些事情必须发生，他说，而且很快，因为如果这种情况持续更长时间，我的心会碎。
That night, the girl duck had a hard time sleeping.
那天晚上，鸭姑娘一夜难眠。
She kept paddling around in circles, thinking about the rock, and the duck, and his heart that might break.
她不停地划着圈子，想着那块岩石，想着那只鸭子，想着他可能会破碎的心。
She thought long and hard, and before morning, she had an idea.
她苦苦思索了很久，天亮之前，她有了一个主意。
She went and woke up the strange duck.
她去叫醒了那只奇怪的鸭子。
Things happen when they must, she said, as if it were an extremely meaningful statement.
她说，事情总是在必要的时候发生，就好像这是一个极其有意义的声明。
So?
所以？
said the duck.
鸭子说。
So I have a plan, said the girl duck.
所以我有一个计划，鸭子女孩说。
And I think that it will work.
我认为这会起作用。
Well, what is it?
嗯，那是什么？
said the duck, nearly bursting with excitement.
鸭子说，兴奋得几乎要爆发了。
We will need help, said the girl duck.
我们需要帮助，鸭子女孩说。
And it will take some time.
这需要一些时间。
And also, we will need a cliff.
而且，我们还需要悬崖。
Two days later they set out.
两天后，他们出发了。
It took four ducks to carry the rock.
搬动石头需要四只鸭子。
They worked in teams and traded off every 15 minutes.
他们以团队形式工作，每 15 分钟进行一次交换。
Everyone joined in, even though they had laughed, for ducks are all brothers when it comes right down to it.
每个人都跟着笑，尽管他们都笑了，因为归根结底，鸭子都是兄弟。
The cliff is over that hill and then quite a ways to the south, said the most elderly duck.
最年长的鸭子说，悬崖就在那座山上，然后向南延伸了很长一段路。
I remember flying over it when I was a fledgling.
我记得当我还是个羽翼未丰的人时，曾飞过它。
It looked like the edge of the world.
它看起来就像是世界的边缘。
The ducks trudged on under their rocky weight for hours.
鸭子们在岩石的重量下艰难地行走了几个小时。
For hours, and then for days.
几个小时，然后几天。
At night they camped under hedges and strange trees, and ate beetles and frogs.
晚上，他们在树篱和奇怪的树下扎营，吃甲虫和青蛙。
Do you think it will be much farther?
你觉得还会更远吗？
said one of the ducks.
一只鸭子说。
Maybe, said the old duck.
也许吧，老鸭子说。
My memory is not so good anymore.
我的记忆力已经不太好了。
On the sixth day, the ducks began to tire.
第六天，鸭子们开始疲倦了。
I don't believe there is a cliff, said one of them.
“我不相信有悬崖，”其中一位说道。
Me neither, said another.
“我也一样，”另一个人说。
I think the old duck is crazy.
我觉得老鸭子疯了。
My back hurts, said a third duck.
我的背疼，第三只鸭子说。
I want to go home.
我想回家。
Me too, said a fourth.
我也是，第四个说。
In fact, I'm going to.
事实上，我要去。
And then all the ducks began to turn for home.
然后所有的鸭子都开始回家了。
The rock fell to the forest floor and lay there.
岩石掉到森林地面上并躺在那里。
The strange duck looked imploringly at the girl duck.
奇怪的鸭子哀求地看着小鸭子。
Don't worry, she said.
别担心，她说。
I won't leave you.
我不会离开你。
They watched all the other ducks flee homeward, and then they hoisted the rock onto their backs and trudged on.
他们看着其他鸭子都逃回家了，然后把石头背在背上，艰难地前行。
What do you think will happen when we throw it off the cliffs?
你认为当我们把它扔下悬崖时会发生什么？
said the duck.
鸭子说。
I don't know, said the girl duck.
我不知道，鸭子女孩说。
I just know it will be something.
我只知道这将会是一些事情。
Finally, they came to the edge of the cliff.
终于，他们来到了悬崖边。
The drop off was so great they couldn't see the ground.
落差太大，他们看不到地面。
Just great, white clouds spread out before them like an endless, rolling cotton blanket.
巨大的白云在他们面前展开，就像一条无尽的、滚动的棉毯。
It looks so soft, said the duck.
它看起来很软，鸭子说。
Yes, it does, said the girl duck.
是的，确实如此，鸭子女孩说。
Are you ready?
你准备好了吗？
The duck looked at the rock.
鸭子看着岩石。
This is it, my love, he said.
就是这样，我的爱人，他说。
The moment of truth.
关键时刻。
And whatever happens, please remember, always remember, I love you.
无论发生什么，请记住，永远记住，我爱你。
And the two ducks hurled the rock off the cliff together.
两只鸭子一起把石头扔下了悬崖。
At first, the rock simply fell, like a rock one might say, like a stone.
起初，岩石只是掉落下来，就像人们可能会说的一块岩石，就像一块石头。
But then something began to happen.
但随后发生了一些事情。
It began to slow.
它开始变慢。
It began to grow.
它开始生长。
It began to change.
它开始改变。
It narrowed.
它变窄了。
It elongated.
它拉长了。
And it also spread sideways.
而且还横向蔓延。
It's becoming a bird, the girl duck said.
它正在变成一只鸟，小鸭子说。
And it was.
确实如此。
It was becoming a beautiful gray bird-- really not that unlike a duck.
它正在变成一只美丽的灰色鸟——真的不像鸭子。
Its wings began to move slowly up and down, up and down, and it dove down, and then coasted up.
它的翅膀开始缓慢地上下移动，上下移动，然后向下俯冲，然后滑行向上。
It looked back over its shoulder at the two ducks on the cliff, and it called out just once-- goodbye.
它回头看了一眼悬崖上的两只鸭子，只叫了一声——再见。
And then it was going, going, getting smaller and smaller, flying off over the blanket across the sky.
然后它就飞啊飞，越来越小，从毯子上飞过天空。
When they reached the pond, the other ducks gathered around and clamored to hear what had happened.
当他们到达池塘时，其他鸭子围拢过来，大声叫嚷着想听发生了什么事。
The duck and the girl duck glanced at each other.
小鸭子和小鸭子互相看了一眼。
Nothing, said the girl duck.
没什么，鸭子女孩说。
It fell.
它掉下来了。
In the days that followed, the duck stayed to himself.
接下来的日子里，鸭子一直独处。
The girl duck went and swam around in circles.
小鸭子走过去，绕着圈游着。
She thought about that rocky bird flying off into the sky.
她想起那只飞向天空的岩石鸟。
She saw it over and over in her mind.
她在心里一遍又一遍地看到这一幕。
And then one day, not too many days later, she looked and saw the duck come swimming up.
不久之后的一天，她看到鸭子游了上来。
He was carrying a small salamander in his bill.
他的嘴里叼着一条小蝾螈。
For me?
为我？
the girl duck said.
鸭子姑娘说道。
And the duck smiled.
鸭子笑了。
Ira Glass Ben Loory, reading a story from his book, Stories for Nighttime and Some For the Day.
艾拉·格拉斯·本·洛里 (Ira Glass Ben Loory) 正在朗读他的《夜间故事和白天故事》一书中的故事。
Act Four, My Girlfriend's Boyfriend.
第四幕，我女朋友的男朋友。
Comedian Mike Birbiglia has this story of some of the extreme things that some of us put up with when we believe that we have found the one person in the world for us.
喜剧演员迈克·比尔比利亚（Mike Birbiglia）讲了一个故事，讲述了当我们相信自己已经找到了世界上最适合自己的人时，我们中的一些人忍受了一些极端的事情。
He recorded this in front of a live audience and-- quick warning-- there's not really any sexual, prurient content in the story.
他在现场观众面前录制了这段视频，并且——快速警告——故事中实际上并没有任何色情、淫荡的内容。
But Mike does refer to the fact that sex exists and happens between people.
但迈克确实提到了性存在并发生在人与人之间的事实。
When I was a senior in high school, I had my first girlfriend, Amanda.
当我高中四年级时，我有了我的第一个女朋友，阿曼达。
And this was a big deal for me, because it was that-- that first time you fall in love, where you're like, oh, there is someone for me.
这对我来说很重要，因为当你第一次坠入爱河时，你会想，哦，有人适合我。
This is it!
就是这样！
Like, I found her!
就像，我找到了她！
And she was great.
她很棒。
She was so beautiful, and she played tennis, and she wrote for the newspaper, and she was a-- she was a bad girl.
她很漂亮，她打网球，她为报纸撰稿，她是一个坏女孩。
And I was a kind of dorky nerd, kind of an outcast.
我是一个傻乎乎的书呆子，一个被遗弃的人。
This was at a boarding school that I didn't board at.
这是在一所我没有寄宿的寄宿学校。
I was only there because my family lived nearby.
我在那里只是因为我的家人住在附近。
And she had major street cred.
她在街头享有盛誉。
She had been expelled from her previous school for dealing acid.
她因贩卖酸而被之前的学校开除。
I remember at one point she said-- it was totally messed up because it was actually this other girl who was dealing acid, and I was framed.
我记得有一次她说——事情完全搞砸了，因为实际上是另一个女孩在卖迷幻药，而我被陷害了。
And I was like, awesome.
我当时想，太棒了。
I just-- I thought it was one of those things where we were opposites and we knew it, and that made it more exciting.
我只是——我认为这是我们性格相反的事情之一，我们知道这一点，这让它更令人兴奋。
Like, she wanted to be a writer and in student government, and I wanted to know what it was like to be cool.
比如，她想成为一名作家并加入学生会，而我想知道变酷是什么感觉。
Well, I find that when you fall in love, you tend to overlook certain red flags.
嗯，我发现当你坠入爱河时，你往往会忽视某些危险信号。
And I don't mean that in an offensive way.
我的意思并不是带有攻击性的。
At boarding school, lying is something of a way of life.
在寄宿学校，说谎是一种生活方式。
I remember there was one guy in my class.
我记得我班上有一个人。
He was a legendary liar.
他是一个传奇的骗子。
His name was Keith Robbins.
他的名字叫基思·罗宾斯。
And he used to lick his fingers like a bookie.
他常常像赌徒一样舔手指。
And he'd go, yeah, yeah.
他会走，是的，是的。
Nice.
好的。
Nice.
好的。
Nice.
好的。
[LAUGHTER] And he would lie about things that weren't important.
[笑声]他会在不重要的事情上撒谎。
Like, he'd be like, yeah.
就像，他会说，是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Nice.
好的。
My uncle's Tony Robbins, motivational speaker.
我叔叔的托尼·罗宾斯是一位励志演说家。
Yeah.
是的。
Nice.
好的。
And I found out later that that wasn't even true.
后来我发现事实并非如此。
But even if it were, it wouldn't be that impressive, you know, I--
但即使是这样，也不会那么令人印象深刻，你知道，我——
[LAUGHTER] So you didn't bother protesting it.
[笑声] 所以你没有费心去抗议。
You'd just go, oh, OK, Keith.
你只要走，哦，好吧，基思。
You know?
你知道？
The other red flag was that Amanda used to say really mean stuff to me.
另一个危险信号是阿曼达常常对我说一些非常刻薄的话。
And then she'd say, only kidding.
然后她会说，开玩笑的。
She'd be like, you're not good at anything.
她会说，你什么都不擅长。
Only kidding.
只是开玩笑。
The final red flag was that she told me not to tell anyone she was my girlfriend.
最后的危险信号是她告诉我不要告诉任何人她是我的女朋友。
She had another boyfriend at home that she was in the process of breaking up with.
她家里还有另一个男朋友，但她正准备分手。
And it was over, but if it got back to him, you know, it'd be bad.
一切都结束了，但如果这件事又传到他身上，你知道，那就糟糕了。
So she would go home every weekend and visit him, and at one point she said she had to go home more frequently, because his parents were sick.
所以她每个周末都会回家看望他，有一次她说她必须更频繁地回家，因为他的父母生病了。
So she had to console him in that.
所以她必须在这方面安慰他。
And I thought, well, you know, the guy's parents are dying.
我想，好吧，你知道，那家伙的父母快要去世了。
So I ought to be understanding.
所以我应该理解。
I also put up with it because I couldn't believe how lucky I was just to be with her.
我也忍受了，因为我不敢相信我能和她在一起是多么幸运。
Like, in retrospect, I understand how selfish she was.
回想起来，我明白她是多么自私。
But at the time, I didn't know that.
但当时我并不知道这一点。
When you're in a relationship with someone who's selfish, what keeps you in it is the fact that when they shine on you, it's like this souped up shine.
当你和一个自私的人处于一段关系中时，让你保持这种关系的原因是，当他们在你身上闪耀时，就像这种增强的光芒。
And you feel like you're in the club.
你感觉就像在俱乐部里一样。
And you don't even know what the club is.
你甚至不知道俱乐部是什么。
You just you know you want to stay in it.
你只是知道你想留在其中。
We'd been going out two months.
我们已经出去两个月了。
And we went on Christmas break and she invited me to meet her parents in New Hampshire.
我们去度圣诞假期，她邀请我去新罕布什尔州见她的父母。
And this is very exciting.
这非常令人兴奋。
This is going to be my big moment.
这将是我的重要时刻。
It would vindicate me and legitimize me as the main boyfriend.
这将证明我的清白，并使我作为主要男朋友的地位合法化。
And so I drive my mom's Volvo station wagon from Massachusetts to New Hampshire.
所以我开着妈妈的沃尔沃旅行车从马萨诸塞州到新罕布什尔州。
And I meet her parents.
我还见到了她的父母。
And it's going really well.
一切进展顺利。
And then this guy shows up.
然后这个人出现了。
And his name is Scott.
他的名字叫斯科特。
And then the three of us are hanging out.
然后我们三个就出去玩了。
And it dawns on me that I'm hanging out with my girlfriend's boyfriend.
我突然意识到我正在和我女朋友的男朋友一起出去玩。
He seemed like a good guy.
他看上去是个好人。
He was an all-state wrestler.
他是一名全州摔跤手。
And he was remarkably nice.
而且他非常友善。
I could totally see what she saw in him.
我完全可以看出她在他身上看到了什么。
[LAUGHTER] And there was some consolation because every time he would go to the bathroom, or go into the other room, she would be very affectionate towards me.
[笑声]还有一些安慰，因为每次他去洗手间，或进入另一个房间时，她都会对我非常友善。
She'd kiss my neck, or say something in her sweet voice.
她会亲吻我的脖子，或者用她甜美的声音说些什么。
But then there was a moment where I was in the bathroom--
但有那么一刻我在浴室里——
--and I thought, what's happening in the other room?
——我想，另一个房间里发生了什么？
The day took a strange turn when Scott suggests that we go hang out at his house.
当斯科特建议我们去他家玩时，这一天发生了奇怪的变化。
And so we go and I meet his parents.
于是我们就去见了他的父母。
It's a very strange thing, meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time.
第一次见到女朋友的男朋友的父母，这是一件很奇怪的事情。
Part of you is angry, for obvious reasons.
出于显而易见的原因，你的一部分感到愤怒。
And then part of you still wants to make a good impression.
然后你的一部分仍然想给人留下好印象。
As a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
顺便说一句，他们看起来非常健康。
I drive home, defeated.
我开车回家，失败了。
And I sort of knew that, at this point, this was her life.
我知道，此时此刻，这就是她的生活。
And I was like her secret life, like on Maury Povich.
我喜欢她的秘密生活，就像莫里·波维奇一样。
So I was like, this is it.
所以我想，就是这样。
You know, I'm going to stick up for myself.
你知道，我会坚持自己的立场。
It's either him or me.
要么是他，要么是我。
And I convinced myself that, given that choice, she would go with me because what we had was so special.
我说服自己，如果有这个选择，她会和我一起去，因为我们拥有的东西是如此特别。
So when we got back to school, I called her and I said, we need to talk.
所以当我们回到学校时，我打电话给她，我说，我们需要谈谈。
Let's meet at the hockey game.
我们在曲棍球比赛中见面吧。
And she says, great.
她说，太好了。
And so I go to the hockey game and she's not there.
所以我去看曲棍球比赛，但她不在。
Hockey game ends, still no sign.
曲棍球比赛结束了，仍然没有任何迹象。
I had that pit in my stomach, you know, like this was going to be my moment.
你知道，我的胃里有一个坑，就像这将是我的时刻。
And I was going to tell her that she had to pick me or that's it.
我打算告诉她她必须选择我，否则就是这样。
And so I start walking around the school, to the library, or the cafeteria-- the places she might be.
于是我开始在学校里走来走去，去图书馆或自助餐厅——她可能会去的地方。
And I asked people where she is.
我问人们她在哪里。
And finally, someone says, I saw her with Keith Robbins down at the tennis courts.
最后，有人说，我看到她和基思·罗宾斯一起在网球场上。
I remembered earlier that day at lunch, Keith had said to me, I'm sleeping with your girlfriend.
我记得那天早些时候吃午饭时，基思对我说，我正在和你女朋友睡觉。
You know that, right?
你知道，对吧？
And I thought, well, first of all, I hadn't even slept with my girlfriend.
我想，好吧，首先，我什至没有和我的女朋友睡过觉。
So that would be insane.
所以那太疯狂了。
And second of all, he's a liar, so he must be lying.
其次，他是个骗子，所以他一定是在撒谎。
I remember I said to him, yeah.
我记得我对他说，是的。
I know.
我知道。
But at this moment it dawns on me that Keith was her new second boyfriend, and I was done.
但此时此刻我突然意识到基思是她新的第二个男朋友，我已经完了。
And it was that horrible, lonely feeling where you're walking around some place, and there are people all around, and there's only one person you want to be with, no matter how mean they've been to you.
当你在某个地方走来走去，周围都是人，而你只想和一个人在一起，无论他们对你有多刻薄，那是一种可怕、孤独的感觉。
I just wanted to hear that-- only kidding.
我只是想听听——开个玩笑。
I remember people were coming up to me, and I couldn't even hear them.
我记得有人向我走来，但我什至听不见他们的声音。
I couldn't even tell them what had happened, because even though I was being dropped, the relationship itself was based on a secret.
我什至无法告诉他们发生了什么事，因为即使我被抛弃，这段关系本身也是建立在一个秘密的基础上的。
And that spring, I graduated.
那年春天，我毕业了。
Keith was expelled for making fake IDs in his dorm room.
基思因在宿舍制作假身份证而被开除。
[LAUGHTER] He had built a life-sized license from Arkansas that people stuck their face in.
[笑声]他在阿肯色州制作了一张真人大小的许可证，人们可以把脸贴进去。
And he would photo it, and then laminate it.
他会拍照，然后将其层压。
He later took a job at Goldman Sachs.
后来他在高盛找到了一份工作。
That detail seems made up.
这个细节似乎是编造的。
It's actually true.
这确实是真的。
And Amanda was expelled the next year for dealing Ritalin.
第二年，阿曼达因交易利他林而被开除。
At boarding school, you can't go to the graduation if you're expelled.
在寄宿学校，如果你被开除，你就不能参加毕业典礼。
It's one of the shames of being expelled, and it's very strict.
被开除是耻辱之一，而且非常严格。
And I found out later that Amanda actually did show up to the graduation, in a disguise.
后来我发现阿曼达确实乔装出席了毕业典礼。
She wore a wig and sunglasses.
她戴着假发和太阳镜。
My friends laughed about this, the way the friends do, to make you feel better when you've had your heart broken.
我的朋友们对此大笑，就像朋友们所做的那样，让你在心碎时感觉好一些。
But I could relate to her doing that because sometimes when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
但我可以理解她这样做，因为有时当你非常想去一个地方时，你会做任何事。
Mike Birbiglia, his one-man show, The New One, just finished its run on Broadway.
迈克·比尔比利亚 (Mike Birbiglia) 的独角戏《新人》(The New One) 刚刚在百老汇上演完。
He has a podcast called The Old Ones.
他有一个名为“The Old Ones”的播客。
It's available whenever you get your podcasts.
每当您收到播客时都可以使用它。
[MUSIC - "WHOLE WILD WORLD" BY WRECKLESS ERIC]
[音乐 - WRECKLESS ERIC 的《Whole WILD WORLD》]
Our program was produced today by Jonathan Menjivar, with help from Elna Baker, Phia Bennin, and Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Cornfield, Sarah Koenig, Jane Marie, Miki Meek, Stowe Nelson, Lisa Pollak, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, Matt Tierney, and Nancy Updike.
我们今天的节目由 Jonathan Menjivar 制作，并得到 Elna Baker、Phia Bennin、Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Cornfield、Sarah Koenig、Jane Marie、Miki Meek、Stowe Nelson、Lisa Pollak、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp、Matt Tierney 和 Nancy Updike 的帮助。
Our senior producer for today's show is Julie Snyder.
我们今天节目的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Music help from Damien Graef, Jessica Hopper, and Rob Geddis.
Damien Graef、Jessica Hopper 和 Rob Geddis 提供音乐帮助。
Special thanks today to Justin Collins, Julia McCullough, Amy Silverman, Joshua Kendell, Meg, Jonathan Mitchell, Michael Spivak, Eli Donda, Seth Parrish, Robin Weiss, and Stephanie Brill.
今天特别感谢贾斯汀·柯林斯、朱莉娅·麦卡洛、艾米·西尔弗曼、约书亚·肯德尔、梅格、乔纳森·米切尔、迈克尔·斯皮瓦克、伊莱·唐达、塞斯·帕里什、罗宾·韦斯和斯蒂芬妮·布里尔。
Our website, ThisAmericanLife.org, where you can listen to our archive of over 600 episodes for absolutely free.
我们的网站 ThisAmericanLife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的 600 多集档案。
This American Life is distributed to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 分发到公共广播电台。
Thanks as always to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们计划的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
You know that show, Cheers?
你知道那个节目吗，干杯？
He has this weird theory about the mailman.
他对邮递员有一个奇怪的理论。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
[MUSIC - "WHOLE WILD WORLD" BY WRECKLESS ERIC]
[音乐 - WRECKLESS ERIC 的《Whole WILD WORLD》]
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。