476: What Doesn’t Kill You - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #476 | October 5, 2012 476: What Doesn’t Kill You Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 476 集 | 2012 年 10 月 5 日 476：什么不会杀死你 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
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如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass So Tig Notaro, you're coming onto the radio show today to talk about the last year of your life.
序言 Ira Glass So Tig Notaro，您今天将在广播节目中谈论您生命的最后一年。
Is this going to be an uplifting story?
这会是一个振奋人心的故事吗？
[LAUGHS].
[笑]。
Well, it's not even a year.
好吧，还不到一年。
It's four months-- and no.
已经四个月了——但没有。
Tig Notaro is a comedian.
蒂格·诺塔罗是一位喜剧演员。
She was on our show this past spring telling the story-- maybe you heard this-- about Taylor Dayne.
去年春天，她在我们的节目中讲述了关于泰勒·戴恩的故事——也许你听说过这个。
But in just four months she went through a series of terrible things, life changing things, including finally, two months after she was on our show this past May, she was diagnosed with cancer.
但在短短四个月内，她经历了一系列可怕的事情，改变了生活，最后，在今年五月她参加我们的节目两个月后，她被诊断出患有癌症。
Her doctor called her with the test results on a Wednesday.
她的医生在周三打电话给她并告知了检查结果。
Eight days later she was told that it was stage two and that it might be spreading throughout her body.
八天后，她被告知这是第二阶段，并且可能会扩散到她的全身。
And then the next night she did something that you don't see a lot of cancer patients do.
第二天晚上，她做了一些很多癌症患者都不会做的事情。
She went on stage and did a stand-up set about it, about everything she was going through.
她走上舞台，做了一场单口相声，讲述了这件事，讲述了她所经历的一切。
She felt like she had to.
她觉得她必须这么做。
I really had the fear that if I walked away from this opportunity to perform that I would never be able to again.
我真的很担心，如果我放弃这个表演的机会，我就再也没有机会了。
Yeah.
是的。
You know, my life could just start changing very quickly.
你知道，我的生活可能很快就会开始改变。
I could immediately be on chemo.
我可以立即接受化疗。
I could be ill.
我可能生病了。
My past four months had shown me that who knows what's coming up.
过去的四个月让我知道谁知道会发生什么。
The set she did at a club called Largo in Los Angeles became notorious in comedy circles immediately after it happened because another comedian, Louis CK, tweeted that it was one of the best sets he ever saw.
她在洛杉矶一家名为 Largo 的俱乐部拍摄的场景一发生就在喜剧界声名狼藉，因为另一位喜剧演员路易斯·CK 在推特上表示，这是他见过的最好的场景之一。
It's not the kind of set that kills with joke after joke after joke.
这不是那种笑话接二连三地杀人的场景。
What makes it special is listening to it you can feel Tig figuring out how she's even going to talk about these things on stage as she's making her way through it.
它的特别之处在于，听它时，你可以感觉到蒂格正在弄清楚她将如何在舞台上谈论这些事情。
It was scary.
太可怕了。
I picture myself walking and just kind of putting my tip-toe in front of me slowly, just, oh, I have no idea what this next line is going to be.
我想象自己走路时，慢慢地将脚尖放在我面前，只是，哦，我不知道下一行会是什么。
I don't have any reference here.
我这里没有任何参考。
You mean, what it's going to be, like how they're going to react.
你的意思是，将会发生什么，比如他们将如何反应。
How they're going to react, and is this funny?
他们会如何反应，这很有趣吗？
I didn't know.
我不知道。
Well, today on our radio show, "What Doesn't Kill You," we have stories of people who nearly die.
好吧，今天在我们的广播节目“什么不会杀死你”中，我们讲述了一些濒临死亡的人的故事。
Some of them nearly die more than once.
他们中的一些人不止一次差点死掉。
And we see what it turns them into, who they are when they come back to the rest of us.
当他们回到我们身边时，我们会看到他们变成了什么，他们是谁。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, "Too Soon?" So we're going to start with that set that Tig Notaro performed the day after she heard that she had stage two cancer back in August.
第一幕“太快了？”所以我们将从 Tig Notaro 在八月份听说自己患有二期癌症后第二天表演的那一套开始。
It's never been broadcast or released anywhere from now.
从现在开始，它从未在任何地方播出或发布过。
This is going to be excerpt of the much longer half hour set.
这将是更长的半小时集的摘录。
[CROWD CHEERING] Tig Notaro Good evening.
[人群欢呼] Tig Notaro 晚上好。
Hello.
你好。
I have cancer.
我得了癌症。
How are you?
你好吗？
Hi, how are you?
你好你好吗？
Is everybody having a good time?
大家都过得好吗？
I have cancer.
我得了癌症。
How are you?
你好吗？
Ah, it's a good time.
啊，正是好时机。
Diagnosed with cancer.
被诊断患有癌症。
[SIGHS].
[叹气]。
It feels good.
感觉很好。
Just diagnosed with cancer.
刚刚诊断出患有癌症。
Oh, God.
哦，上帝。
Oh, it's fine.
哦，没关系。
Here's what happened.
事情是这样的。
It's very personal.
这是非常个人化的。
Found a lump.
发现一个肿块。
Guys, relax.
伙计们，放松点。
Everything's fine.
一切都很好。
I have cancer.
我得了癌症。
[LAUGHTER] Found a lump, got a mammogram.
[笑声] 发现了一个肿块，做了乳房X光检查。
I ended up getting biopsies, which is painful.
我最终进行了活检，这很痛苦。
It feels like being stabbed.
感觉就像被刺了一下。
I felt like I'd been rear-ended all day, and then just dropped off back at my house.
我感觉自己一整天都被追尾了，然后就回到了我家。
I couldn't move or anything.
我不能动，也不能做任何事。
And it was so intrusive and horrible.
这是如此侵入性和可怕的。
And I was just like, God.
我当时就想，上帝。
After all of these like ice pick, stabbing feelings, I'd better have cancer.
在经历了所有这些像冰镐、刺痛的感情之后，我最好得癌症。
Somebody over here just keeps going, oh.
这里有人继续前进，哦。
Oh, I think she might really have cancer.
哦，我想她可能真的得了癌症。
Who's taking this really bad?
谁真的把这件事看得很糟糕？
Oh.
哦。
It's OK.
没关系。
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] It's OK.
[笑声和掌声] 没关系。
It's going to be OK.
一切都会好起来的。
It might not be OK.
可能不太好。
But I'm just saying, it's OK.
但我只是说，没关系。
You're going to be OK.
你会没事的。
I don't know what's going on with me.
我不知道我怎么了。
I literally got diagnosed just a few days ago.
几天前我确实被诊断出来了。
And this friend of mine, she was like, oh my gosh.
我的这个朋友，她说，天哪。
I'm sure you've heard about these funny cancer greeting cards.
我相信您听说过这些有趣的癌症贺卡。
And I go, whoa, whoa, whoa.
我就去，哇，哇，哇。
You're sure I've heard about funny cancer greeting cards?
你确定我听说过有趣的癌症贺卡吗？
I was like, I just got diagnosed.
我当时想，我刚刚被诊断出来。
I didn't just go out and learn all about the subculture, and start buying knickknacks, and like, no. I don't know about the funny cancer greeting cards.
我不只是出去了解亚文化，然后开始购买小玩意，然后，不。我不知道有趣的癌症贺卡。
I just don't know.
我只是不知道。
I just got diagnosed.
我刚刚确诊。
And so my friend texted me one of the cards.
于是我的朋友给我发了一张卡片。
The outside of the card says-- oh, what is it?
卡片外面写着——哦，这是什么？
So you have cancer.
所以你得了癌症。
Sad face.
悲伤的脸。
Then you open the card.
然后你打开卡。
And it says, thank goodness.
它说，谢天谢地。
I've been looking for a reason to shave my head.
我一直在寻找剃光头的理由。
[HESITANT LAUGHTER] I can't believe that's what you guys haven't laughed at tonight.
[犹豫的笑声]我不敢相信你们今晚没有笑过这件事。
That was straight from the funny cancer greeting cards.
这直接来自有趣的癌症贺卡。
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] What's odd, though, is having this diagnosis, it's such a weird time because I have so many amazing things going on in my life.
[笑声和掌声] 不过，奇怪的是得到这个诊断，这是一个非常奇怪的时刻，因为我的生活中发生了很多令人惊奇的事情。
Like, all of the best and all of the worst is exactly at the same time.
就像，所有最好的和所有最坏的都恰好同时发生。
In fact, at the end of March I had this-- basically a bacteria was eating my digestive system.
事实上，三月底我就遇到了这种情况——基本上是一种细菌正在吞噬我的消化系统。
So I had this bacteria eating my digestive tract.
所以我的消化道被这种细菌吃掉了。
So I lost 20 pounds.
所以我减掉了20磅。
I've put five back on.
我又装了五个了
And just please bear with me.
请耐心听我说。
It's so hard, because right now in my life, when I have a show I don't feel like, oh, I want to go talk about how funny it is that a bee was taking the 405 freeway.
这太难了，因为现在在我的生活中，当我有一场演出时，我不想，哦，我想去谈论一只蜜蜂在 405 高速公路上行驶是多么有趣。
Like all the jokes that I've written, I just am like, I can't even bring myself to talk about it.
就像我写过的所有笑话一样，我什至无法让自己谈论它。
Because-- and just, everyone relax-- my mother just died.
因为——只是，大家放松一下——我母亲刚刚去世。
Should I leave?
我应该离开吗？
My mother just died-- tragically, too.
我的母亲刚刚去世——也是一场悲剧。
She was 65, she tripped, hit her head, and died, a week after I got out of the hospital.
她 65 岁，在我出院一周后，她绊倒了，撞到了头，然后去世了。
What happened was after we buried her in our hometown in Mississippi, we drove back to Texas.
发生的事情是，我们将她埋葬在密西西比州的家乡后，我们开车返回德克萨斯州。
And I was checking the mail.
我正在检查邮件。
And the hospital sent my mother a questionnaire to see how her stay at the hospital went.
医院给我妈妈发了一份调查问卷，了解她住院的情况。
[LAUGHTER] Hm-- not great.
[笑声] 嗯——不太好。
Did not go great.
进展不太顺利。
The questionnaire asked things such as, number one, during this hospital stay, did nurses explain things in a way you could understand?
调查问卷询问的问题包括，第一，在住院期间，护士是否以您能理解的方式解释事情？
I mean, considering you had zero brain activity.
我的意思是，考虑到你的大脑活动为零。
Number two, was the area around your room quiet at night?
第二，你房间周围晚上安静吗？
Or could you hear the 12 hours of your daughter alone at your bedside sobbing and telling you things she wished she was brave enough to tell you when you were conscious?
或者你能听到你女儿独自在你床边哭泣的 12 个小时，告诉你一些她希望她有足够勇气在你清醒时告诉你的事情吗？
Number four, suggestions for improvements.
第四，改进建议。
Such as, should we stop sending questionnaires to dead people?
例如，我们是否应该停止向死者发送调查问卷？
When I was-- I'm jumping around a lot-- I'm going back to the cancer.
当我——我经常跳来跳去——我又回到了癌症。
I'm bailing on the mother thing.
我正在放弃母亲的事情。
After I got the biopsies, they did another mammogram.
在我进行活检后，他们又做了一次乳房X光检查。
And I had to have my shirt off.
我不得不脱掉衬衫。
And I was standing there at the machine.
我站在机器旁边。
And the technician said, oh my gosh, you have such a flat stomach.
技师说，天啊，你的肚子真平坦。
What is your secret?
你的秘密是什么？
And I was like, oh, I'm dying.
我当时想，哦，我快死了。
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] The condition I had in the hospital is called C diff.
[笑声和掌声]我在医院患的病症称为艰难梭菌。
And so I just refer to it as the C diff diet.
所以我将其称为 C diff 饮食。
You just sit there and watch the pounds melt away.
你只需坐在那里，看着体重消失。
Don't like exercising?
不喜欢锻炼？
Who does, girlfriend?
女朋友，谁呢？
This diet does all the work for you.
这种饮食可以为您完成所有工作。
Just clear all the bacteria from your intestines and let the C diff whittle way at your waistline.
只需清除肠道中的所有细菌，让艰难梭菌逐渐减少您的腰围即可。
So basically, the events-- I got pneumonia.
基本上，这些事件——我得了肺炎。
I was in the hospital for a week for C diff.
我因艰难梭菌住院一周。
Got out.
出去了。
A week later, my mother died.
一周后，我母亲去世了。
I know, it's hilarious.
我知道，这很搞笑。
Then I went through a break up, right in the middle of it all.
然后我经历了一次分手，就在这一切的中间。
It's tough times.
这是艰难的时期。
You can't stick around for that.
你不能为此留下来。
Got to get out before the cancer comes.
必须在癌症到来之前离开。
Went through a break up.
经历了分手。
Seems legit.
似乎是合法的。
Tig Notaro Seems totally legitimate.
Tig Notaro 似乎完全合法。
Who here is just wishing I would tell bees going down the 405?
这里谁只是希望我能告诉沿着 405 公路行驶的蜜蜂？
[LAUGHTER] I just can't.
[笑声]我就是做不到。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
[SIGHS].
[叹气]。
But you know what's nice about all of this is that you can always rest assured that God never gives you more than you can handle.
但你知道这一切的好处是你可以永远放心，上帝永远不会给你超过你能承受的东西。
Never.
绝不。
Never.
绝不。
When you've had it, God goes, all right, that's it.
当你拥有了它，上帝就走了，好吧，就是这样。
I just keep picturing God going, you know what?
我只是一直想象着上帝继续前进，你知道吗？
I think she can take a little more.
我想她还可以再承受一点。
[LAUGHTER] And then the angels are standing back going, God, what are you doing?
[笑声]然后天使们退后一步，上帝，你在做什么？
You are out of your mind.
你疯了。
And God was like, no, no, no. I really think she can handle this.
上帝说，不，不，不。我真的认为她能处理好这件事。
But why, God?
但为什么呢，上帝？
Like, why?
比如，为什么？
Why?
为什么？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I just, you know.
我只是，你知道。
Just trust me on this.
相信我这一点。
I heard another little sad [INAUDIBLE].
我听到另一个有点悲伤的声音[听不清]。
May you just should have stayed home.
也许你应该呆在家里。
You know, what if I just transitioned right now into silly jokes right now?
你知道，如果我现在就变成愚蠢的笑话怎么办？
No!
不！
No!
不！
Tig Notaro No. I want to hear more bad news.
Tig Notaro 不，我想听到更多坏消息。
No!
不！
Right here.
就在这里。
Audience Member 2 Right here.
观众2 就在这里。
Right here.
就在这里。
Tig Notaro Now I feel bad that I don't have more tragedy to share.
Tig Notaro 现在我感到很难过，因为我没有更多的悲剧可以分享。
[LAUGHTER] I'm honestly tapped out.
[笑声]老实说我已经筋疲力尽了。
Like that's all that happened to me.
就像这就是发生在我身上的一切。
That's it.
就是这样。
OK, it's me again jumping in here.
好吧，又是我跳到这里了。
So after about half an hour of this, trying all kinds of stuff.
大约半小时后，尝试了各种东西。
Some that gets huge laughs, some stuff she's just kind of trying out and seeing.
有些会引起大笑，有些则只是她尝试和看到的。
For example, she talks about getting a double mastectomy.
例如，她谈到进行双乳切除术。
She talks about her friends not knowing how to talk to her normally now that she has this diagnosis.
她说，自从她确诊后，她的朋友们不知道如何与她正常交谈。
There's a whole bit about will I date with cancer?
有很多关于我会和癌症约会吗？
And as the set is winding down, the audience requests the bee joke that she's been mentioning.
随着演出接近尾声，观众要求播放她刚才提到的蜜蜂笑话。
Tell the bee joke.
讲蜜蜂的笑话。
Tig Notaro Tell the bee joke?
蒂格·诺塔罗 讲蜜蜂笑话吗？
OK.
好的。
And hearing her do the bee joke is like hearing her perform a version of herself which she knows doesn't even exist anymore.
听她讲蜜蜂笑话就像听她表演自己的一个版本，她知道她甚至不存在了。
I was driving here.
我开车来这里。
[LAUGHTER AND CHEERS]
[笑声和欢呼声]
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] And my car hadn't moved in several minutes.
[笑声和掌声] 我的车已经好几分钟没动了。
I was just sitting there.
我只是坐在那里。
And my window was down.
我的窗户是摇下的。
And a bee flew past me.
一只蜜蜂从我身边飞过。
Do you have any idea how frustrating it is when a bee passes you in 5 o'clock traffic?
你知道当一只蜜蜂在五点钟的车流中从你身边经过时是多么令人沮丧吗？
And PS, what was the bee doing taking the 405 in the first place?
PS，蜜蜂最初拿着 405 做什么？
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Ira Glass Tig Notaro.
[欢呼和掌声] Ira Glass Tig Notaro。
What you just heard was less than half of what she did that night.
你刚才听到的还不到她那天晚上所做的一半。
The full thing is available, can be downloaded at Louis CK's website, louisck.net.
完整的内容可以在 Louis CK 的网站 louisck.net 上下载。
Yay, cancer!
耶，癌症！
That's the best response I've ever gotten.
这是我得到过的最好的回应。
Act Two, "Just Keep Breathing." So this 13-year-old get bit by a shark.
第二幕，“保持呼吸”。这个13岁的孩子被鲨鱼咬了。
And it's harrowing, but not as harrowing as what happens after the attack.
这很令人痛苦，但不像袭击后发生的那样令人痛苦。
Because sharks are dangerous, but so are grown-ups.
因为鲨鱼很危险，成年人也很危险。
The 13-year-old is now a grown-up herself.
13岁的她现在已经是个成年人了。
And she agreed to tell her story here on the radio.
她同意在广播中讲述她的故事。
But she asked that I not give out her name.
但她要求我不要透露她的名字。
She was raised in this small town in New Zealand where everyone knew the shark story.
她在新西兰的这个小镇长大，那里人人都知道鲨鱼的故事。
And the last few years, she's been enjoying a life in America where that is not the very first thing that every single person she meets knows about her.
在过去的几年里，她在美国过着很享受的生活，但这并不是她遇到的每个人首先了解她的事情。
And she wanted to try to keep that going by not outing herself on the radio.
她想努力保持这种状态，不要在广播中暴露自己。
The attack happened when her family was out on a camping trip at the beach.
袭击发生时，她的家人正在海滩露营。
She went for a swim with her friend.
她和她的朋友去游泳。
It was beautiful.
很漂亮。
It was about dusk.
那时已是黄昏时分。
We were walking out.
我们正走出去。
The tide was really, really far out.
潮水真的非常非常遥远。
And I wasn't even completely wet, slightly more than waist deep.
我什至还没有完全湿透，只有齐腰深一点。
And essentially, I walked straight into it.
本质上，我直接走进了它。
And they're incredibly powerful.
他们非常强大。
It was like being hit by a freight train.
就像被货运列车撞到一样。
It goes in.
它进去了。
It got its teeth into me.
它咬住了我。
And then I couldn't get out.
然后我就出不去了。
She says the feeling of this was like the shark was trying to get inside her.
她说这种感觉就像鲨鱼试图进入她体内一样。
It grabbed her on her right side, a few inches above the hip.
它抓住了她的右侧，距离臀部几英寸。
The shark, as best as she could tell anyway, was about five feet long.
无论如何，据她所知，这条鲨鱼大约有五英尺长。
She was just over five feet tall.
她身高只有五英尺多一点。
The best analogy I can think of is that it's like a dog.
我能想到的最好的比喻就是它就像一只狗。
It got its teeth in.
它咬牙切齿了。
And then it's shaking.
然后它就摇晃起来。
It's like using that.
就像使用它一样。
Oh, it's shaking you, like a dog shakes its head back and forth.
哦，它在摇晃你，就像狗来回摇头一样。
But it's trying to shake me to get me under the water.
但它试图摇动我，让我沉入水下。
And so I'm trying to stand on my feet, like really trying to stand on my feet.
所以我试图站起来，就像真的试图站起来一样。
And I want whatever it is inside of me out.
我想要把我内心的一切都排出体外。
So I want to win.
所以我想赢。
I want to stand up.
我想站起来。
Ultimately, it dragged me under three times.
最终，它把我拖了三遍。
The first two times I got back up.
前两次我都站起来了。
But the third time I started taking in a lot of water.
但第三次我开始摄入大量的水。
So I thought I was going to drown.
所以我以为我会被淹死。
And when it started to drown me, that's when I really hit it, scratched it, everything.
当它开始淹没我时，我才真正击中它，抓伤它，一切。
It was just full-on-- your animal instincts come out.
这完全是——你的动物本能显现出来了。
It's like hand-to-hand combat, kind of.
这有点像肉搏战。
But whatever happened, whatever I did, gave it enough of a fright that it stopped trying to drown me, and disengaged from my stomach.
但无论发生什么，无论我做了什么，都给它带来了足够的恐惧，它不再试图淹死我，而是从我的胃里脱离了。
She hobbled towards shore, sent her friend for help.
她一瘸一拐地向岸边走去，向她的朋友求助。
A small chunk of skin was torn off.
一小块皮肤被撕掉了。
She had two big puncture wounds.
她有两处很大的刺伤。
Her swimsuit was half tattered.
她的泳衣已经破烂了一半。
And I know I'm losing blood.
我知道我正在失血。
And I'm worried that that's going to attract either that shark back, or some other sharks.
我担心这会吸引那条鲨鱼或其他一些鲨鱼回来。
And then I get to a certain point where I'm in quite shallow water.
然后我到达了某个点，我在很浅的水中。
And I just can't walk anymore.
我就是不能再走路了。
So I lie down.
于是我就躺下了。
And it's shallow enough that I can lie down.
而且它很浅，我可以躺下。
And I can feel blood everywhere.
我能感觉到到处都是血。
And these fishermen come along.
这些渔民也跟着来了。
Are you all right?
你还好吗？
And I'm patently not all right.
我显然不太好。
But the other issue is that I'm exposed, like I'm quite naked.
但另一个问题是我暴露在外，就像我赤身裸体一样。
And I'm 13.
我13岁了。
So I'm like, oh, I'm fine.
所以我想，哦，我很好。
I'm fine.
我很好。
And they're like, hm, you don't look fine.
他们会说，嗯，你看起来不太好。
I'm like, I'm OK.
我想，我很好。
I'm OK, you carry on.
我没事，你继续。
Like, well, we'd like to take you out of the water.
就像，好吧，我们想把你从水里救出来。
I'm like, hm.
我就像，嗯。
And then at a certain point, they just stop trying to negotiate and just pick me up.
然后到了某个时候，他们就不再尝试谈判，而是接我了。
And I'm dying of shame.
我羞愧得要死。
I am just dying of shame.
我简直羞愧得要死。
On the beach, a small crowd starts to form.
海滩上，一小群人开始聚集。
Of course, to her horror.
当然，令她恐惧的是。
Her parents show up and drive her to the nearest town, which she remembers as 30 minutes away.
她的父母出现并开车送她到最近的城镇，她记得距离那里有 30 分钟路程。
Though her mom remembers it as 15 to 20.
尽管她妈妈记得是15到20。
It's such a tiny town in a remote part of New Zealand that there's no hospital there.
这是新西兰偏远地区的一个小镇，那里没有医院。
It's Friday night.
现在是星期五晚上。
So they have to call the local doctor to come in to open up this little medical office.
所以他们必须请当地的医生进来开设这个小诊所。
The doctor and my dad-- everyone's sort of quite jovial, they're kind of relieved.
医生和我爸爸——每个人都很高兴，他们有点松了一口气。
And I remember them talking-- my dad and the doctor-- talking about the cricket.
我记得他们——我爸爸和医生——谈论蟋蟀。
Did they not seem like they were in a big hurry?
他们看起来不是很着急吗？
The way you describe it--
按照你描述的方式——
No. So I just remember him cleaning up the wound, and immediately pulling all this skin I'd lost together, and then stitching that.
不。所以我只记得他清理了伤口，然后立即将我失去的所有皮肤拉到一起，然后缝合。
He gave me a tetanus shot.
他给我注射了破伤风疫苗。
He said to my parents, I might act a little bit strange that night, a little bit odd, because I might be in shock.
他对我父母说，那天晚上我可能表现得有点奇怪，有点奇怪，因为我可能很震惊。
They should ignore me.
他们应该无视我。
I'd be fine.
我会没事的。
Now these instructions from the doctor play a big part in what is about to follow.
现在，医生的这些指示在接下来的事情中发挥着重要作用。
They've become part of family lore.
它们已成为家庭传说的一部分。
So I just want to hold on this point for one more moment.
所以我想再坚持一下这一点。
The doctor said-- or anyway, they remember him saying--
医生说——或者无论如何，他们记得他说——
I can't remember the exact words.
我不记得确切的词了。
But it was essentially, she'll be fine.
但本质上，她会没事的。
You know, she'll be dramatic about this.
你知道，她对此会很戏剧化。
Kids can get a little extreme about this stuff.
孩子们可能会对这些事情变得有点极端。
But everything's OK.
但一切都好。
Ignore it.
忽略它。
Then we leave.
然后我们离开。
And we go back.
然后我们回去。
So we're in a caravan camping.
所以我们在一辆大篷车里露营。
The caravan's like an RV?
大篷车就像房车一样？
Anonymous Yeah.
匿名 是啊
Remember, they're on vacation.
请记住，他们正在度假。
It's her parents and her three siblings, all younger.
这是她的父母和她的三个兄弟姐妹，他们都很年轻。
She's in pain.
她很痛苦。
But the doctor said she'd be in pain.
但医生说她会很痛。
And normally I have to sleep on a top bunk in an awning outside.
通常我必须睡在外面遮阳篷的上铺上。
But I was allowed to stay in the caravan that night.
但那天晚上我被允许留在大篷车里。
And it's kind of hard to describe how painful it was.
而且很难描述那是多么痛苦。
But essentially, very quickly I start vomiting up blood and stomach lining.
但本质上，很快我就开始吐血和胃粘膜。
Or I assume it's stomach lining.
或者我认为是胃壁。
Like, it's sort of a jelly-like substance.
就像，它是一种果冻状的物质。
I don't know what it is at the time.
我当时不知道那是什么。
And so I just go and get a plastic cup out of the cupboard and start to collect it.
所以我就去从柜子里拿出一个塑料杯并开始收集它。
Because I didn't want to get the caravan dirty.
因为我不想弄脏大篷车。
And in the midst of this, everyone else goes to bed.
在此期间，其他人都去睡觉了。
And it just keeps getting worse and worse.
而且情况变得越来越糟。
It feels like I'm on fire.
感觉我就像着火了。
Like every atom in my body is in an inferno.
就像我体内的每一个原子都处于地狱之中。
And so I go and tell my parents.
所以我去告诉我的父母。
I wake them up.
我叫醒他们。
And I say, I'm on fire.
我说，我着火了。
I'm burning up.
我正在燃烧。
And they were-- go back to sleep.
他们——回去睡觉吧。
Come on, you'll be fine.
来吧，你会没事的。
This, after all, was what the doctor told them was going to happen.
毕竟，这就是医生告诉他们将会发生的事情。
She'd be uncomfortable, that was normal, nothing to worry about.
她会感到不舒服，这很正常，不用担心。
This continues all night.
这持续了一整夜。
She throws up blood into a cup, feels feverish.
她把血吐进杯子里，感到发烧。
What's actually happening, everybody's going to learn later, is that the shark has bitten through her bowel in several places.
每个人稍后都会了解到，实际发生的情况是，鲨鱼已经咬穿了她肠道的好几个地方。
So the contents of her bowels are slowly leaking into her gut, basically poisoning her.
所以她肠子里的东西慢慢地渗入她的肠道，基本上使她中毒。
She's developing sepsis and peritonitis.
她患有败血症和腹膜炎。
She is bleeding internally.
她正在内出血。
One side effect of all this is that her lungs start filling with liquids, making it increasingly difficult for her to breathe.
所有这一切的一个副作用是她的肺部开始充满液体，使她呼吸越来越困难。
And at that point, my mother-- this is during the night-- and I was saying, I can't breathe.
就在那时，我的母亲——这是在晚上——我说，我无法呼吸。
I can't breath.
我无法呼吸。
And she said, mind over matter-- stop that hyperventilating.
她说，注意事情——停止过度换气。
Which has become a family joke.
这已经成为一个家庭笑话。
Where now any time someone says, I've got a cold, we're like, mind over matter-- stop that hyperventilating.
现在，每当有人说“我感冒了”时，我们都会说，多管闲事——别再过度换气了。
And it gets a lot worse.
而且情况会变得更糟。
I am incredibly weak.
我非常虚弱。
I can't breathe.
我无法呼吸。
And then eventually I could just feel I was losing my ability to keep going.
最终我感觉自己正在失去继续前进的能力。
And again, during the night I try again.
晚上我再次尝试。
And I wake them up.
我叫醒他们。
And I say, I'm dying.
我说，我快死了。
And again, they're just like, come on.
再说一遍，他们就像，来吧。
For me, I was like, come on.
对我来说，我想，来吧。
I've made this pretty clear.
我已经说得很清楚了。
I have done everything I can to communicate this to you.
我已尽我所能向您传达这一信息。
I love how this is like exactly what it's like to be 13, is that you have urgent things that you're telling people around you, and adults just kind of shrug it off.
我喜欢这就像 13 岁时的感觉，就是你有紧急的事情要告诉周围的人，而成年人只是耸耸肩。
But in this case, it's completely real.
但在这种情况下，它是完全真实的。
And you need them to actually pay attention to this one.
你需要他们真正关注这一点。
Right.
正确的。
And there isn't an alternative.
并且没有其他选择。
Like, I live on or die based on convincing them.
就像，我的生存或死亡取决于说服他们。
And it's not working.
但它不起作用。
Anonymous There's no plan B.
匿名 没有B计划。
There's no taking my dad's car keys and driving.
拿了我爸爸的车钥匙就不能开车了。
I can't drive.
我不会开车。
It's before I had a phone.
那是在我有电话之前。
I can't ring anyone.
我无法给任何人打电话。
Now I talked to her parents to answer the question that might be forming in your head right this second.
现在我和她的父母交谈，回答你此刻可能想到的问题。
They do not seem like terrible people, or the worst parents I have ever met.
他们看起来不像是可怕的人，也不是我见过的最糟糕的父母。
They both understand how they screwed up that night.
他们都明白那天晚上他们是如何搞砸的。
Her mom told me, yes, she knows this all looks very bad in retrospect.
她妈妈告诉我，是的，她知道现在回想起来这一切看起来都很糟糕。
And they should have listened to their kid.
他们应该听听他们孩子的意见。
Yes, her dad said.
是的，她爸爸说。
She woke them up.
她叫醒了他们。
She said she was dying.
她说她快要死了。
They didn't do anything.
他们什么也没做。
It all looked very different later.
后来一切看起来都大不相同了。
In their defense, they both pointed out that, at the time, the liquid that she was throwing up looked more brown to them than blood-red.
在辩护中，他们都指出，当时她吐出的液体在他们看来更像是棕色的，而不是血红色的。
They both assumed that it was Coca-Cola, which she had been drinking.
他们都认为那是她一直喝的可口可乐。
And not to excuse their actions, but simply as context for the "stop hyperventilating" remark, her mom pointed out that, at that age, her daughter did hyperventilate when she was nervous about all kinds of things, like a music performance at school.
她妈妈指出，在那个年纪，当她对各种事情感到紧张时，比如学校的音乐表演，她的女儿确实会过度换气。
When the sun came up the next morning, their daughter was pale, having a terrible time getting in enough air to breathe.
第二天早上太阳升起时，他们的女儿脸色苍白，呼吸困难。
And then her eyes rolled back in her head.
然后她的眼睛又在脑海里翻了个白眼。
Her mom saw the whites of her eyes.
她妈妈看到了她的眼白。
And she said she felt like she was falling through the surface of the Earth.
她说她感觉自己正在从地球表面掉下来。
She had somebody call the doctor's office.
她让人给医生办公室打电话。
They were coming in.
他们进来了。
Her daughter picks up the story.
她的女儿听到了这个故事。
The problem is my dad's taken the car to visit various fishermen with the scraps of my swimming suit.
问题是我爸爸带着我的泳衣碎片开着车去拜访了各个渔民。
Because he's trying to find out what happened.
因为他想弄清楚到底发生了什么。
Because it's still out there.
因为它还在那里。
Actually, whether it was a shark or some other creature is still in some dispute.
事实上，到底是鲨鱼还是其他生物仍然存在争议。
Her dad says that the town listed it officially as a stingray attack, so it wouldn't hurt tourism.
她的父亲说，该镇将其正式列为黄貂鱼袭击事件，因此不会损害旅游业。
A New Zealand shark expert told us that if it were not a shark it could either be a stingray or a fur seal.
一位新西兰鲨鱼专家告诉我们，如果它不是鲨鱼，它可能是黄貂鱼或海狗。
But it would be impossible to tell that without a photograph of the wound, which we were unable to locate in time for our broadcast.
但如果没有伤口照片，我们就无法判断这一点，因为我们无法及时找到伤口以便进行广播。
Anyway, back to our story.
无论如何，回到我们的故事。
So he comes back.
所以他回来了。
Then you get in the car?
然后你上车吗？
Get in the car, back to the backseat.
上车，回到后座。
And that was a really long journey.
那是一段非常漫长的旅程。
A long journey, because by this point, there is so much fluid in her lungs that it's taking all of her concentration to keep enough air going in and out.
这是一段漫长的旅程，因为此时她的肺部已经有太多的液体，她需要集中所有的注意力来保持足够的空气进出。
It's exhausting.
真累。
And I knew it was a long way away.
我知道那是很遥远的事。
And I knew-- at that point, I started to doubt whether I would be able to keep doing what I'd been doing for a long time.
我知道——在那一刻，我开始怀疑我是否能够继续做我已经做了很长时间的事情。
And so what do you remember of that trip?
那次旅行你还记得什么？
We're making reasonable progress.
我们正在取得合理的进展。
But at a certain point, we hit a bridge.
但在某个时刻，我们遇到了一座桥。
And there's a farmer moving his sheep across the bridge.
有个农夫正赶着他的羊过桥。
So we're blocked.
所以我们被封锁了。
And I hadn't factored that into my-- this is how long I can keep myself going.
我没有考虑到这一点——这就是我能让自己坚持下去的时间。
And at that point, I really felt I lost it.
那一刻，我真的觉得我失去了它。
She started losing consciousness.
她开始失去知觉。
But she describes it as lifting off in an airplane.
但她将其描述为乘坐飞机起飞。
It felt good.
感觉很好。
Though she fought it.
尽管她奋力反抗。
Any time I felt myself losing consciousness, I wanted to come back.
每当我感觉自己失去知觉时，我就想回来。
I remember, like, willing myself.
我记得，我自己也愿意。
And that was tough.
这很艰难。
Because when you're drifting off into unconsciousness there's no pain.
因为当你陷入无意识状态时，就不会感到疼痛。
And I've been in pain for so long now, in such extreme pain.
我已经痛苦了这么久，处于如此极度的痛苦之中。
So it, each time, took a lot of effort to be like, actually, I'm coming back.
所以，每次我都花了很大的努力才说，实际上，我要回来了。
Her mom was in the back seat with her.
她妈妈和她一起坐在后座。
And her mom told me that when they stopped on the bridge, there was a noticeable change.
她妈妈告诉我，当他们停在桥上时，发生了明显的变化。
Her daughter's body seemed to get very light.
女儿的身体似乎变得很轻。
She told her husband to hurry.
她告诉丈夫快点。
Finally, they arrived at the medical office.
终于，他们来到了医务室。
She can't speak, can't move.
她不能说话，也不能动。
But she's still conscious.
但她还有意识。
There are now either three or four doctors, depending on whose memory you rely on.
现在有三到四位医生，这取决于你依赖谁的记忆。
She's put on a table.
她被放在桌子上。
And she hears the doctor say something to her parents that she can't quite make out, but that seems to be either she's dying, or possibly, she's dead.
她听到医生对她的父母说了一些她不太明白的话，但这似乎表明她要么快死了，要么可能已经死了。
I remember them reacting very badly.
我记得他们的反应非常糟糕。
So I remember my dad saying, she was my favorite daughter.
所以我记得我爸爸说，她是我最喜欢的女儿。
And at the time, I was like, yes.
当时，我想，是的。
Because I have two sisters.
因为我有两个姐姐。
[LAUGHTER] Anonymous And at the other end of the scale, I remember my mom saying, just like the cat.
[笑声] 匿名 在天平的另一端，我记得我妈妈说，就像猫一样。
Because our cat, Winkles, had recently made an untimely end.
因为我们的猫温克斯最近过早地去世了。
And so that was a bad situation.
所以情况很糟糕。
It's brutal.
太残酷了。
Ira Glass The parents do confirm these quotes.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）的父母确实证实了这些说法。
Her dad remembers saying, that was my favorite daughter.
她爸爸记得说过，那是我最喜欢的女儿。
He said it was obvious that she might die.
他说很明显她可能会死。
He was haranguing the doctor to do something now.
他正在大声劝说医生现在就做点什么。
Her mom does not remember, but says that it is very possible she declared, just like the cat.
她妈妈不记得了，但说她很可能像那只猫一样声明过。
Because Winkles had died of internal injuries after its stomach was perforated, very similar to their daughter.
因为温克斯是胃部穿孔后内伤而死的，和他们的女儿很像。
And I do remember my dad getting angry.
我确实记得我爸爸很生气。
And then there's an exchange between him and the doctor.
然后他和医生之间进行了交流。
And then the next thing I know is the doctor comes back, gets out a blade.
然后我知道的下一件事是医生回来了，拿出了一把刀片。
I didn't see it.
我没看到。
I felt it.
我感觉到了。
And just slices into my arm.
就这样切入了我的手臂。
It wasn't like they gave me anesthetic.
他们并没有给我注射麻醉剂。
They just took out a blade and hacked into my arm.
他们只是拿出一把刀片，砍进我的手臂。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I think they're performing an autopsy on me.
我认为他们正在对我进行尸检。
Because no one's talking to me.
因为没有人跟我说话。
I am so irrelevant in this whole situation because I can't communicate.
我在这整个情况中是如此无关紧要，因为我无法沟通。
And they're in the middle of an autopsy.
他们正在进行尸检。
And I can't say anything to anyone.
我不能对任何人说什么。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
Anonymous And I can't communicate.
匿名 我无法沟通。
I don't have control over my body.
我无法控制自己的身体。
Doctors slice into her arms and ankles.
医生切开她的手臂和脚踝。
She still had inch-long scars that she showed me.
她给我看了她身上还有一英寸长的伤疤。
She says it's hard to believe that when they sliced into your ankles with no anesthesia, it hurt worse than being attacked in the water.
她说很难相信，当他们在没有麻醉的情况下切开你的脚踝时，比在水中被攻击更疼。
I'm worried that the next thing he's going to do is cut my throat.
我担心他接下来要做的就是割断我的喉咙。
Because I don't understand.
因为我不明白。
I don't understand why they're cutting my ankles.
我不明白他们为什么要割断我的脚踝。
There was no shark attack on my ankles.
我的脚踝没有受到鲨鱼袭击。
My feet are fine.
我的脚很好。
The way she remembers it, when they cut into her ankles, she jolted.
她记得，当他们切入她的脚踝时，她浑身颤抖。
And they realized at that point that she was alive.
那时他们意识到她还活着。
And they called the helicopter to fly her to a proper hospital.
他们呼叫直升机将她送往正规医院。
At least, that's how she saw it at the time.
至少，她当时是这么看的。
The reality was different.
现实却有所不同。
I reached one of the doctors who worked on her that day, Dr. Vic Eastman.
我找到了那天为她工作的医生之一，维克·伊斯特曼医生。
He was trained in emergency room medicine.
他接受过急诊室医学培训。
And he says that they definitely were not performing an autopsy.
他说他们绝对没有进行尸检。
He said that she was in such a state of shock, she lost so much blood.
他说她当时非常震惊，失血过多。
They believed that if they didn't get IVs into her immediately, she would die.
他们相信，如果不立即给她静脉注射，她就会死。
Cutting into the arms and ankles is what doctors do to find a vein in that situation when there is so little blood pressure.
在血压很低的情况下，医生会切开手臂和脚踝来寻找静脉。
This is a standard ER procedure.
这是标准的 ER 程序。
And they didn't feel like they had the time to stop and anesthetized her.
他们觉得自己没有时间停下来麻醉她。
They did call in helicopters.
他们确实呼叫了直升机。
She was flown to a hospital in the city of Nelson, where she was operated on.
她被空运到尼尔森市的一家医院，在那里接受了手术。
For a while, it didn't seem like she was going to survive.
一时之间，她似乎快要活不下去了。
She went into a coma, and woke up days later.
她陷入昏迷，几天后醒来。
And I was in an intensive care unit.
我当时在重症监护室。
And the male nurse was saying, Mom, get in her eye sight.
男护士说，妈妈，进入她的视线。
He's coming around.
他正在过来。
She's coming around.
她正在过来。
And my mom looked over, and she said, aren't you lucky the doctors saved you?
我妈妈看了过来，她说，你不幸运，医生救了你吗？
And I couldn't talk, because I was on life support ventilator for my lungs so that I could breathe.
我无法说话，因为我的肺部需要呼吸机才能呼吸。
And I indicated for paper and pencil.
我指出要纸和铅笔。
And I wrote, I saved myself.
我写了，我拯救了自己。
Underline, underline, underline.
下划线，下划线，下划线。
When somebody asks her to tell this story, what happened the day after she was bit by the shark-- or whatever it was-- it's possible for her to get mad all over again.
当有人请她讲述这个故事时，她被鲨鱼咬伤后第二天发生了什么——或者无论是什么——她可能会再次生气。
But it usually doesn't come up.
但它通常不会出现。
She doesn't think about it.
她不去想。
And she's fine with her parents.
而且她和她父母相处得很好。
Her relationship with them is pretty much like anybody's.
她和他们的关系就像任何人一样。
And she understands their actions that day.
她也理解他们那天的举动。
Everybody moved on.
每个人都继续前进。
I mean, they subsequently bought a house just along from where the whole thing happened.
我的意思是，他们随后在整个事件发生的地方买了一栋房子。
And I was very anti that plan.
我非常反对这个计划。
Wait, they bought a house right near where it happened?
等等，他们在事发地点附近买了房子？
Yeah, in this very remote community.
是的，在这个非常偏远的社区。
And I was like, I'm going to boycott that.
我当时想，我要抵制这一点。
But you can't.
但你不能。
We went back the next year to the same camping spot.
第二年我们又回到同一个露营地。
It was a family with four kids.
那是一个有四个孩子的家庭。
Nobody was inclined to dwell on the past, including her.
没有人愿意沉溺于过去，包括她。
Within a year, her dad had started buying joke presents about it-- a necklace with a shark, and a swimmer coming out of its mouth.
一年之内，她的父亲开始购买有关它的笑话礼物——一条带有鲨鱼的项链，以及一个从鲨鱼嘴里出来的游泳者。
Or a t-shirt with a cartoon shark bite, fake blood splatters, and a hole-- a real hole in the shirt-- coincidentally, right where her actual bite was.
或者是一件印有卡通鲨鱼咬伤、假血飞溅和一个洞的 T 恤——衬衫上的一个真正的洞——巧合的是，就在她实际咬伤的地方。
The fact that she nearly died, that was the past.
她差一点就死了，那已经是过去式了。
She wore the shirt and the necklace.
她穿着衬衫和项链。
And then quietly, after a while, she had enough of it.
然后静静地，过了一会儿，她受够了。
Coming up, when you're little, you learn that you are supposed to be careful with sharp, dangerous objects.
长大后，当你还小的时候，你就会知道应该小心锋利、危险的物体。
You learn that you are not supposed to put dangerous things into your mouth.
您了解到不应该将危险的东西放入口中。
In a minute, somebody who ignores both those rules-- really, really ignores them.
很快，那些无视这两条规则的人——真的、真的无视它们。
From Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，来自芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, "What Doesn't Kill You." We have stories of people surviving all kinds of things, and where they end up on the other side of that.
今天的节目是《什么杀不死你》。我们有一些关于人们在各种各样的事情中幸存下来的故事，以及他们最终走到了另一边的故事。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, "A Real Nail Biter."
第三幕，“真正的咬指甲者”。
This story is amazing.
这个故事太棒了。
Because the woman that it's about, I think more than anybody else on today's show, probably should not be around to tell the story.
因为我认为这个女人比今天节目中的其他人更不应该在场讲述这个故事。
Reporter Jessica Benko tells what happened.
记者杰西卡·本科讲述了事情的经过。
The woman's name is Cathy.
这个女人的名字叫凯茜。
And the thing that almost killed her over and over was a thought.
而一次又一次差点杀死她的就是一个念头。
It first appeared one day when she was 12 or 13 years old.
它第一次出现是在她 12 或 13 岁时的一天。
She was in a psychiatric institution at the time.
当时她正在精神病院里。
Cathy asked that I not use her full name on the radio.
凯茜要求我不要在广播中使用她的全名。
And she didn't want to discuss certain events of her childhood.
她不想讨论她童年的某些事件。
She hopes it's enough to describe it as troubled.
她希望用“困扰”来形容就足够了。
But she threw violent tantrums as a kid, assaulted her teachers, and even began cutting herself.
但她小时候就经常发脾气，攻击老师，甚至开始割伤自己。
So Cathy's doctors had convinced her parents an institution might help her.
因此，凯茜的医生说服她的父母，有一个机构可能会帮助她。
But it was there that the thought first came to her.
但正是在那里，她首先想到了这个想法。
I was in the quiet room.
我在安静的房间里。
Quiet rooms are a room that's smaller than the size of a bathroom-- a good-sized bathroom.
安静的房间是比浴室还小的房间——一个大小合适的浴室。
And it's all concrete.
这都是具体的。
And they have this mattress on the floor that has no springs in it.
他们在地板上放了这个没有弹簧的床垫。
It's a safety mattress.
这是一个安全床垫。
And I found a nail.
我找到了一颗钉子。
At first, I wanted to use it on my arm to cut myself.
起初，我想用它在手臂上割伤自己。
So I hid it, because I knew if I got caught with it they would take it.
所以我把它藏了起来，因为我知道如果我被发现，他们就会拿走它。
And then I got the thought to swallow it.
然后我就有了吞下它的想法。
I wanted to feel it go down my throat and go into my stomach.
我想感觉它穿过我的喉咙，进入我的胃。
Out of anger and frustration, or something else?
是因为愤怒、沮丧，还是其他原因？
Out of a compulsion, like the thought.
出于强迫，就像这样的想法。
The thought wouldn't leave me alone.
这个想法不会让我孤单。
And I just did it.
我刚刚做到了。
Cathy says it felt good to swallow the nail.
凯茜说吞下指甲的感觉很好。
And once it was in her stomach, she felt intense relief.
当它进入她的胃时，她感到强烈的轻松。
The thought was no longer nagging her.
这个想法不再困扰她。
Doctors put her in the hospital and waited for the nail to pass.
医生把她送进医院，等待指甲脱落。
But once it was gone, the thought returned with increasing frequency, again and again.
但一旦它消失了，这个想法就会越来越频繁地出现，一次又一次。
It was horrible.
太可怕了。
I was tortured.
我被折磨了。
I literally was tortured in my mind.
我的内心确实受到了折磨。
I've swallowed pencils, hundreds of pencils, multiple toothbrushes, nails, a plastic fork, knives, two antennas-- radio antennas.
我吞下了铅笔，数百支铅笔，多把牙刷，指甲，塑料叉子，刀子，两根天线——无线电天线。
I swallowed a chess piece, a book bracket.
我吞下了一个棋子，一个书架。
I don't know what it's called, the thing that goes on a shelf, it holds the shelf.
我不知道它叫什么，放在架子上的东西，它支撑着架子。
Oh, yeah, battery and glass.
哦，是的，电池和玻璃。
All of this sounds intolerably painful.
所有这一切听起来都令人难以忍受的痛苦。
But for Cathy, it was even more agonizing when she wasn't able to swallow something, when she wasn't able to appease the thought.
但对于凯茜来说，当她无法吞咽某些东西时，当她无法安抚这个想法时，那就更痛苦了。
Cathy told my producer Brian Reed and me about one day when she snatched a straw from the common area of the psych ward.
凯茜告诉我的制片人布莱恩·里德和我，有一天她从精神病房的公共区域抓走了一根吸管。
She hid it in her bra, hoping to swallow it the next chance she got.
她把它藏在胸罩里，希望下次有机会就把它吞下去。
But the staff strip-searched her before she could do it.
但在她这么做之前，工作人员对她进行了脱衣搜身。
And they found it on me.
他们在我身上找到了它。
And I flipped.
我翻转了。
I just lost control.
我刚刚失去了控制。
I started banging my head on the mirror in the bathroom where they strip-searched me, saying, please don't take it.
我开始用头撞浴室的镜子，他们对我进行脱衣搜身，说，请不要接受。
You're going to kill me.
你会杀了我的。
You don't understand how much this-- I got to have it.
你不明白这个有多少——我必须拥有它。
And they ended up restraining me, and putting me in restraints, and giving me injections until I fell asleep.
最后他们把我绑起来，给我打针，直到我睡着。
Why were you so upset?
你为什么这么难过？
Cathy Because I thought I was going to die.
凯茜 因为我以为我要死了。
I thought my mother was going to die.
我以为我妈妈快要死了。
Cathy isn't using metaphor here.
凯茜在这里没有使用隐喻。
She genuinely believed this irrational thought that if she didn't swallow the object she had fixated on, she or her mother would die.
她真的相信这种非理性的想法：如果她不吞下她所注视的物体，她或她的母亲就会死。
She says having the object inside her felt like a protection.
她说，把这个东西放在她体内感觉就像是一种保护。
Cathy was given a lot of diagnoses over the years.
多年来，凯茜接受了很多诊断。
But doctors believe her swallowing was a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
但医生认为她的吞咽行为是强迫症的症状。
This is the same disorder that causes people who are afraid of germs to wash their hands incessantly, or others who are worried about a fire to check the stove dozens of times before they can leave the house.
这种疾病会导致害怕细菌的人不停地洗手，或者担心起火的人在离开家之前检查炉灶数十次。
Cathy's fear about her or her mother's safety was a more extreme and illogical version of this.
凯茜对她或她母亲安全的恐惧是这种恐惧的更极端和不合逻辑的版本。
Doctors didn't have a good cure.
医生没有很好的治疗方法。
No matter what they tried-- therapy, drugs, repeated electroshock treatments-- they could not stop the thought from torturing Cathy.
无论他们尝试什么——治疗、药物、反复电击治疗——他们都无法阻止这种想法折磨凯茜。
All they could do was try to stop Cathy from hurting herself.
他们所能做的就是阻止凯茜伤害自己。
She couldn't be trusted on her own, so she was permanently institutionalized and put in four-point restraints.
她自己无法被信任，因此她被永久送入收容机构并受到四点限制。
Four-point restraints is when they tie leather down to the bed, and they have handcuffs on the feet, and on the legs, on the arms.
四点束缚是指他们将皮革绑在床上，脚上、腿上、手臂上都戴着手铐。
On top of this, Cathy was constantly supervised by one, and sometimes even two staff members.
除此之外，凯茜经常受到一名甚至两名工作人员的监督。
But that didn't stop her from swallowing things.
但这并没有阻止她吞下东西。
By law, every eight hours staff had to let her walk around for 15 minutes.
根据法律规定，工作人员每八小时必须让她走动 15 分钟。
Those 15 minutes were Cathy's chance to act.
那 15 分钟是凯茜采取行动的机会。
And this is where I would scout things.
这就是我侦察事物的地方。
So I would see what I wanted.
所以我会看到我想要的。
And then I wouldn't sleep that night.
然后那天晚上我就睡不着了。
I'd plan it to a T.
我会把它计划成T。
It's like playing Stratego, but playing for, like, 24 hours without winning or without losing, but in the end knowing you're going to win.
这就像玩 Stratego，但玩了 24 小时，没有赢也没有输，但最终知道你会赢。
She had to win.
她必须赢。
Because every time she focused in on a new object, the fear that something horrible might happen was reignited.
因为每当她专注于一个新物体时，对可能发生可怕事情的恐惧就会重新燃起。
Can you tell us about the time you swallowed a knife?
你能告诉我们你吞下一把刀的那次经历吗？
Just pick one?
就选一个吗？
Brian Reed How many times have you swallowed knives?
布莱恩·里德（Brian Reed） 您吞过多少次刀？
Four.
四。
Jessica Benko Cathy never got her hands on a real metal knife, just the plastic ones they used in the hospital.
杰西卡·本科·凯茜从未接触过真正的金属刀，只有医院里使用的塑料刀。
But the results weren't so different.
但结果并没有那么不同。
A quick warning, what Cathy describes in the next minute or so is graphic.
快速警告一下，凯茜在接下来的一分钟左右所描述的内容是生动的。
You might want to turn down the volume if you're sensitive.
如果您比较敏感，可能需要调低音量。
I took a knife out of the kitchen.
我从厨房里拿出一把刀。
And I put it in my bra.
我把它放在我的胸罩里。
And I asked if I could go to the bathroom.
我问我是否可以去洗手间。
They let me go to the bathroom by myself.
他们让我自己去洗手间。
I went in, and I went to the bathroom.
我进去了，然后去了洗手间。
I swallowed the knife.
我把刀吞了下去。
I started bleeding out of my mouth.
我的嘴开始流血。
Well, my throat was bleeding.
嗯，我的喉咙在流血。
And I couldn't breathe right.
我无法正常呼吸。
I was going [GASPING].
我正要[喘气]。
I couldn't get a deep breath in.
我无法深呼吸。
Did it hurt right away when it was cutting your esophagus?
当它割断你的食道时，立即感到疼痛吗？
Yeah.
是的。
I had a hard time getting it down, because it was cutting me as I was putting it down.
我很难把它放下来，因为当我放下它时，它刺痛了我。
And you didn't think, oh, my gosh, I might die?
你没有想到，哦，天哪，我可能会死？
No, it's not my thought at all.
不，这根本不是我的想法。
I kept thinking I had to get it down.
我一直在想我必须把它记下来。
And you didn't think, OK, I just can't?
你没有想到，好吧，我就是不能？
I need to pull it out.
我需要把它拉出来。
I got a fever of 106.
我发烧106度。
And they saw the hole in my throat.
他们看到了我喉咙上的洞。
And then they immediately did surgery.
然后他们立即做了手术。
And I was in ICU for three weeks.
我在重症监护室住了三个星期。
And I couldn't eat because the hole was in my-- it needed repair.
我无法进食，因为我的洞需要修复。
And I almost died then.
那时我差点就死了。
This wasn't even the closest Cathy came to dying.
这甚至还不是凯茜最接近死亡的一次。
Once-- I'm sorry this is a little graphic-- she sneezed while swallowing a radio antenna.
有一次——对不起，这有点生动——她一边打喷嚏，一边吞下了一根无线电天线。
And it became lodged dangerously close to her brain stem.
它非常危险地靠近她的脑干。
Doctors had to put her in a medically induced coma while they figured out how to extract it.
医生不得不让她处于药物诱导的昏迷状态，同时研究如何将其苏醒。
Over the years, Cathy had more than 500 endoscopies, where surgeons inserted a tube down her throat and pulled the item out through it.
多年来，凯茜接受了 500 多次内窥镜检查，外科医生将一根管子插入她的喉咙，然后将异物从中取出。
She had more than a dozen invasive surgeries to remove objects and repair tears and holes in her stomach, intestines, and esophagus.
她接受了十几次侵入性手术，以清除异物并修复胃、肠和食道上的撕裂和孔洞。
One of Cathy's doctors told us she almost single-handedly trained an entire generation of surgical residents at his hospital's ER.
凯茜的一位医生告诉我们，她几乎凭一己之力在医院的急诊室培训了整整一代外科住院医师。
Things got so bad that after Cathy turned 18, hospital staff went in front of a judge to get permission to put her in a straitjacket.
事情变得如此糟糕，以至于凯茜 18 岁后，医院工作人员走到法官面前，请求允许她给她穿上紧身衣。
No hospital wanted to keep me longer than they had to.
没有一家医院愿意让我住院的时间比他们必须的时间长。
So they shipped me around every six months, because I was a liability.
所以他们每六个月就会运送我一次，因为我是一个负担。
Did you have any thoughts at that time about what your future was looking like?
当时您对自己的未来有什么想法吗？
I didn't have a future.
我没有未来。
I didn't see a future.
我没有看到未来。
I wanted to die.
我想死。
I didn't have a way to die.
我没有办法死。
I was in a straitjacket.
我穿着紧身衣。
I laid in a bed.
我躺在床上。
What did you think about when you were in a straitjacket, laying in bed day after day?
当你穿着紧身衣，日复一日地躺在床上时，你在想什么？
If I didn't have something on my mind to swallow, I don't remember thinking anything.
如果我心里没有什么东西要咽下去，我就不记得思考过任何事情。
I would just exist.
我就只是存在而已。
When Cathy was 21, she was transferred to yet another new facility-- Taunton State Hospital.
凯茜 21 岁时，她被转移到另一个新机构——汤顿州立医院。
She was so heavily drugged when she arrived, she didn't wake up for about a week.
当她到达时，她已经被下了很重的迷药，大约一个星期没有醒来。
And when she did, her muscles were so atrophied from being restrained she couldn't hold up her head or lift her arms.
当她这样做时，她的肌肉因受到束缚而萎缩，她无法抬起头或举起手臂。
But Cathy says this hospital, Taunton, was different.
但凯茜说，汤顿这家医院与众不同。
The doctors and staff were willing to give her a chance.
医生和工作人员愿意给她一个机会。
They set up a system of rewards she could work toward.
他们建立了一个她可以努力争取的奖励制度。
Each day she went without swallowing something, she was allowed one hour out of the straitjacket.
每天她不吞咽任何东西，就可以脱掉紧身衣一小时。
They helped her build muscle tone back in her arms by walking her hands up and down the walls.
他们通过在墙壁上上下移动她的手来帮助她恢复手臂的肌肉张力。
They showed her a bit of kindness.
他们向她表现出了一点善意。
After a winter storm, they brought her a snowball, something she hadn't felt in about 10 years.
一场冬季暴风雨过后，他们给她带来了一个雪球，这是她大约十年来没有感觉到的。
And it was at Taunton that Cathy had a chance encounter that changed her life.
正是在汤顿，凯茜的一次偶遇改变了她的生活。
Her regular psychiatrist went on vacation, and another doctor filled in for him.
她的常规精神科医生去度假了，另一位医生接替了他的工作。
He was familiar with a relatively unknown surgery for extreme cases of OCD that he thought might help Cathy.
他熟悉一种相对不为人知的治疗强迫症极端病例的手术，他认为这可能对凯茜有帮助。
It was a controversial procedure, mostly because when people hear about brain surgery on mentally ill patients, they immediately think of a lobotomy.
这是一个有争议的手术，主要是因为当人们听说对精神病患者进行脑部手术时，他们立即想到脑白质切除术。
This wasn't a lobotomy.
这不是脑白质切除术。
It was much more high-tech and precise than that.
它比这更加高科技和精确。
But it would mean destroying a small section of Cathy's brain.
但这意味着要摧毁凯茜大脑的一小部分。
The idea was that surgeons could burn out a piece of the circuit they believed was malfunctioning-- the circuit that communicated between the emotional and logical parts of Cathy's brain.
这个想法是，外科医生可以烧掉他们认为出现故障的电路的一部分，即凯茜大脑的情感和逻辑部分之间进行通信的电路。
Only one hospital in the country offered the procedure regularly.
该国只有一家医院定期提供该手术。
And it happened to be near Cathy-- Massachusetts General.
它恰好靠近凯茜——马萨诸塞州将军。
They had been doing it for decades.
他们已经这样做了几十年。
And they had found that the risks were low.
他们发现风险很低。
More than half of the OCD patients who got the surgery improved.
超过一半的强迫症患者接受手术后病情得到改善。
And for those that didn't, the side effects were minor.
对于那些没有这样做的人来说，副作用很小。
So Cathy agreed to try it.
于是凯茜同意尝试一下。
It took about two hours.
大约花了两个小时。
And amazingly, after she got out of the surgery, she immediately felt different.
令人惊讶的是，手术结束后，她立即感觉不一样了。
Her urge to swallow had vanished completely.
她想要吞咽的冲动完全消失了。
In the beginning I was weary.
一开始我很疲倦。
I'm like, is it really gone?
我想，真的消失了吗？
And then I swallowed something, like, two months after I had the procedure.
然后我吞下了一些东西，大概是在我接受手术两个月后。
It wasn't that I had the urge.
并不是我有这个冲动。
I was so used to swallowing that it was so odd that I didn't feel the urge to swallow.
我太习惯吞咽了，奇怪的是我没有感觉到吞咽的冲动。
And I'm like, well, maybe I should just swallow something.
我想，好吧，也许我应该吞下一些东西。
I'm like, something's missing in my life, you know?
我想，我的生活中缺少了一些东西，你知道吗？
It was like an old friend.
就像一个老朋友一样。
But after I did it, I'm like, this isn't me.
但当我做到了之后，我想，这不是我。
I don't want this.
我不想要这个。
That feeling lasted almost a year, until Cathy relapsed.
这种感觉持续了将近一年，直到凯茜旧病复发。
The obsession came back.
痴迷又回来了。
And she started swallowing again.
她又开始吞咽。
So doctors did a second surgery and destroyed a little more of her brain.
于是医生做了第二次手术，毁掉了她更多的大脑。
Again, Cathy woke up and the thought was gone.
凯茜再次醒来，这个念头消失了。
Again, she moved forward warily, not sure if it would last.
她再次小心翼翼地向前走去，不确定这是否能持续下去。
As the months passed, she began earning more freedom in the psych hospital.
几个月过去了，她开始在精神病院获得更多的自由。
She was out of the straitjacket for good.
她永远摆脱了束缚。
Staff let her walk around the grounds of the hospital freely.
工作人员让她在医院内自由走动。
But recovery wasn't easy.
但康复并不容易。
Even moments that should have been exciting were challenging instead.
即使那些本应令人兴奋的时刻也变得充满挑战。
Like when she went home for the first time.
就像她第一次回家的时候一样。
After spending 10 years confined, mostly in restraints, to mental institutions, she was allowed to go to her mom's house for dinner.
在精神病院度过了十年的监禁（大部分时间都受到限制）后，她被允许去她妈妈家吃晚饭。
It was odd because there were knives.
这很奇怪，因为有刀。
There were all these things that I saw that I'm not used to seeing.
我看到了所有这些我不习惯看到的事情。
Because we had filet mignon and rice pilaf.
因为我们吃了菲力牛排和抓饭。
And it was an odd feeling to cut my steak with a steak knife.
用牛排刀切牛排的感觉很奇怪。
Did it make you nervous?
这让你紧张吗？
Cathy Yeah.
凯茜 是的。
Yeah.
是的。
I don't know how to explain it.
我不知道该如何解释。
I'm like, a sharp knife.
我就像一把锋利的刀。
Then I'm like, oh my God.
然后我就想，天啊。
[DOOR CLOSING] Cathy This is a little messy, if you don't mind mess.
[关门] Cathy 如果你不介意乱的话，这里有点乱。
More than a decade later, Cathy's showing us around her apartment.
十多年后，凯茜带我们参观了她的公寓。
When she first moved out on her own, she was 28.
当她第一次独自搬出去时，她28岁。
Though she essentially had the life skills of a 13-year-old.
尽管她基本上拥有 13 岁孩子的生活技能。
She had to learn how to cook, how to clean.
她必须学习如何做饭，如何打扫卫生。
Her doctor sent someone to teach her how to shower by herself.
她的医生派人教她如何自己洗澡。
For like the first month, I probably didn't sleep during the night at all because I had the freedom.
就像第一个月一样，我可能晚上根本没睡觉，因为我有自由。
I wasn't told to go to bed.
没有人告诉我去睡觉。
So I was just basking in the glory of smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee all night.
于是我整晚都沉浸在抽烟喝咖啡的荣光之中。
For like a month I did that.
我这样做了大约一个月。
And I would sleep during the day, just because I could.
我会在白天睡觉，只是因为我可以。
It felt big, enormous.
感觉很大，巨大。
Jessica Benko Since then, Cathy's earned her GED and has taken a few classes at community college.
Jessica Benko 从那时起，Cathy 获得了 GED 证书，并在社区大学选修了一些课程。
These days, she checks in with her therapist every six months or so.
如今，她每六个月左右就会去看一次治疗师。
She has a good life.
她过着美好的生活。
She's funny, easy to talk to.
她很有趣，很容易交谈。
You really don't want to see my bedroom.
你真的不想看到我的卧室。
She shares this apartment with her boyfriend of eight years.
她与交往八年的男友合住这套公寓。
There's an extra bedroom for her nieces and nephews to stay in when they visit.
还有一间额外的卧室供她的侄女和侄子来访时入住。
It's also where Cathy and her boyfriend keep the fishing rods they use on their boat each weekend.
这里也是凯茜和她男朋友每个周末在船上使用的钓鱼竿的地方。
There are framed pictures of her family and friends, toys for the kids, and of course, toothbrushes, and forks, and knives.
里面有她家人和朋友的镶框照片、孩子们的玩具，当然还有牙刷、叉子和刀子。
Every single one of these things that are my house I cherish-- every single one of them.
我珍惜我的房子里的每一件东西——每一件。
I collect pens now.
我现在收集钢笔。
Pens?
钢笔？
Cathy Pens.
凯茜笔。
I have a whole jar of pens over there because they wouldn't allow me to have them for so many years.
我在那里有一整罐钢笔，因为他们多年来不让我拥有它们。
And now I can have them.
现在我可以拥有它们了。
And they don't torture me.
他们不会折磨我。
So I collect them just to say where I've been and where I am now.
所以我收集它们只是为了说明我去过哪里以及现在在哪里。
We went over to the desk in the corner of her living room.
我们走到她客厅角落的桌子旁。
Cathy picked up a mug filled with pens.
凯茜拿起一个装满钢笔的杯子。
One came from TD Bank, one from the Institution for Savings.
一份来自道明银行，一份来自储蓄机构。
A friend gave her another.
一个朋友给了她另一个。
Now she can take one out of her collection and jot down a grocery list or a note to her boyfriend.
现在，她可以从她的收藏中拿出一个，并记下一份购物清单或给她男朋友的便条。
Jessica Benko in New York.
杰西卡·本科在纽约。
Act Four: The Sweet Year After Ira Glass Act Four, "The Sweet Year After." In the aftermath of some terrible incident that nearly kills you, turns out things can be kind of great.
第四幕：艾拉·格拉斯之后的甜蜜之年 第四幕，“甜蜜的一年之后”。在发生了一些几乎要了你的命的可怕事件之后，事实证明事情可能会很棒。
Tim Kreider explains how.
蒂姆·克雷德 (Tim Kreider) 解释了具体方法。
17 years ago, I was stabbed in the throat.
17年前，我的喉咙被刺伤。
This is kind of a long story, and less interesting than it sounds.
这是一个很长的故事，而且没有听起来那么有趣。
Except for the 10 or 15 minutes during which it looked like I was about to die, which I would prefer not to relive, getting stabbed wasn't even among the worst experiences of my life.
除了那 10 或 15 分钟看起来我快要死了（我不想重温那段经历）之外，被刺伤甚至不是我一生中最糟糕的经历。
In fact, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
事实上，这是我经历过的最好的事情之一。
After my unsuccessful murder, I wasn't unhappy for an entire year.
谋杀不成功后，我一整年都过得很开心。
Winston Churchill's description of the exhilaration of being shot at without result is verifiably true.
温斯顿·丘吉尔对被枪击而没有结果的兴奋的描述是真实的。
I'm not claiming to have been continuously euphoric the whole time.
我并不是说我一直都处于欣快的状态。
It's just that during that grace period, nothing much could bother me or get me down.
只是在那段宽限期内，没有什么事情可以打扰我或让我沮丧。
The horrible thing I'd always dreaded was going to happen to me had finally happened.
我一直害怕发生在我身上的可怕的事情终于发生了。
I figured I was off the hook for a while.
我想我暂时摆脱困境了。
In a parallel universe only two millimeters away, the distance between my carotid and the stiletto, I would have been flown home in the cargo hold instead of in coach.
在平行宇宙中，距离只有两毫米，即我的颈动脉和细高跟鞋之间的距离，我会乘坐货舱而不是乘坐经济舱飞回家。
I started brewing my own dandelion wine in a big Amish crock.
我开始在一个大阿米什陶罐里酿造自己的蒲公英酒。
I listened to old one hit wonders, much too embarrassing to name in public.
我听老歌创造了奇迹，但在公共场合说出名字太尴尬了。
And I developed a strange new laugh that's stayed with me to this day-- a loud, raucous barking thing.
我产生了一种奇怪的新笑声，这种笑声一直伴随着我至今——一种大声、沙哑的吠声。
It makes people in bars or restaurants look over for a second to make sure I'm not about to open up on the crowd with a weapon.
这会让酒吧或餐馆里的人多看一眼，以确保我不会拿着武器向人群开枪。
Not for one passing moment did it occur to me that God must have spared my life for some purpose.
我一刻也没有想到上帝一定是出于某种目的而饶恕了我的生命。
Even if I had been the type who was prone to such notions, I would have been disabused of it by the heavy-handed coincidence of the Oklahoma City bombing occurring on the same day I spent in a recuperative coma.
即使我是那种容易产生这种想法的人，我也会因为俄克拉荷马城爆炸事件发生在我恢复昏迷的同一天这一巧合而打消了这个念头。
If there is some divine plan that requires my survival and the deaths of all those children in daycare, I respectfully decline to participate.
如果有某个神圣的计划需要我的生存和日托中心所有孩子的死亡，我会恭敬地拒绝参加。
What I had been was not blessed or chosen, but lucky.
我的经历并不是被祝福或被选择的，而是幸运的。
Which is not to turn my nose up at luck.
我并不是对运气嗤之以鼻。
It's better to be lucky than just about anything else in life.
幸运比生活中的任何其他事情都要好。
And if you're hearing this now, you're among the lucky, too.
如果您现在听到这个消息，那么您也是幸运的。
You'd like to think that nearly getting killed would be a permanently life-altering experience.
你可能会认为差点被杀将是一次永久改变生活的经历。
But getting stabbed was like a lightning strike-- over almost as soon as it happened, and the illumination didn't last.
但被刺伤就像一道闪电——几乎是一发生就结束了，而光芒并没有持续多久。
You can't feel crazily grateful to be alive your whole life anymore than you can stay passionately in love forever, or grieve forever for that matter.
你不能对自己一生都活着感到疯狂，就像你不能永远热情地爱着，或者永远为此悲伤一样。
Time makes us all betray ourselves and get back to the busy work of living.
时间让我们都背叛了自己，回到忙碌的生活中。
It's easy now to dismiss that year as nothing more than the same sort of shaky, hysterical high you'd feel after being clipped by a taxi.
现在人们很容易将那一年视为无非就是被出租车撞到时所感受到的那种颤抖、歇斯底里的快感。
But you could also try to think of it as a rare glimpse of reality, being jolted out of a lifelong stupor.
但你也可以尝试将其视为对现实的难得一睹，从终生的昏迷中惊醒。
I can't recapture that feeling of euphoric gratitude any more than I can really remember the mortal terror I felt when I was pretty sure I had about four minutes to live.
我无法再回忆起那种欣喜若狂的感激之情，就像我无法真正记得当我确信自己只剩下四分钟的生命时所感受到的致命的恐惧一样。
But I know that it really happened, that that state of grace is accessible to us, even if I only blundered across it once and never find my way back.
但我知道它确实发生了，即使我只跌跌撞撞地遇到过一次，再也找不到回来的路，我们也能获得这种恩典的状态。
At my cabin on the Chesapeake Bay, I'll sometimes see bald eagles swoop up from the water with wriggling little fish in their talons.
在我位于切萨皮克湾的小屋里，有时我会看到秃鹰从水中猛扑而出，爪子里抓着蠕动的小鱼。
And whenever they accidentally drop their catch, I like to imagine that fish trying to tell his friends about his own near-death experience, a perspective so unprecedented there are no words in the fish language to describe it.
每当他们不小心掉落捕获的鱼时，我喜欢想象那条鱼试图告诉他的朋友他自己的濒死经历，这种视角是如此前所未有，鱼语言中无法用任何词语来形容它。
For a short time, he was outside the world.
有一段时间，他脱离了这个世界。
He could see forever.
他可以看到永远。
There's so much more than they knew.
事情比他们知道的要多得多。
But he's glad to be back.
但他很高兴能回来。
Tim Kreidor reading an excerpt from his book of essays and cartoons with the really wonderful name We Learn Nothing.
蒂姆·克雷多 (Tim Kreidor) 正在阅读他的散文集和漫画集的摘录，其名字非常美妙：“我们什么也没学到”。
[MUSIC-- "SURVIVAL SONG," BY ANDREW JACKSON JIHAD]
[音乐——“生存之歌”，作者：安德鲁·杰克逊·吉哈德]
Our program was produced today by Brian Reed with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sarah Koenig, Jonathan Menjivar, Lisa Pollak, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Brian Reed 与 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Sarah Koenig、Jonathan Menjivar、Lisa Pollak、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Tarek Fouda.
Tarek Fouda 提供制作帮助。
Seth Lind is our operations director.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的运营总监。
Emily Condon's our office manager.
艾米丽·康登是我们的办公室经理。
Elise Bergerson's our administrative assistant.
埃莉斯·伯格森是我们的行政助理。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
[致谢]《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
Our new film, Sleepwalk With Me is still in tons of theaters.
我们的新电影《与我梦游》仍在众多影院上映。
Like any comedy, it's always more fun to see in a movie theater with a crowd of people.
就像任何喜剧一样，在一群人的电影院里看总是更有趣。
But if you are one of the many, many people who actually comprise the majority of people in our country, maybe you've got kids, maybe you stay at home, you don't get out to movies much, I'm excited to announce that our film is available now on VOD-- Video On Demand-- through most cable operators and satellite providers.
但是，如果您是实际上构成我们国家大多数人口的许多人之一，也许您有孩子，也许您呆在家里，您很少去看电影，我很高兴地宣布，我们的电影现在可以通过大多数有线电视运营商和卫星提供商在 VOD（视频点播）上观看。
You can watch it right now, tonight.
你现在就可以观看，今晚。
Or we are encouraging everybody-- we have this idea to throw pizza parties this coming Friday night, October 12, Friday night.
或者我们鼓励大家——我们有这个想法，在即将到来的周五晚上，10 月 12 日，周五晚上举办披萨派对。
Invite over friends, order some pizzas, watch the film.
邀请朋友过来，点一些披萨，看电影。
Mike Birbiglia, who stars in the film, and I will be Skyping and video chatting into as many parties as we can.
电影中的主演迈克·比尔比利亚（Mike Birbiglia）和我将通过 Skype 和视频聊天尽可能多地参加聚会。
To sign up for that and to let us know how to reach you on Friday, go to our website-- thisamericanlife.org.
要注册并让我们知道如何在周五联系您，请访问我们的网站 - thisamericanlife.org。
WBEZ management oversight for our show by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的演出进行 WBEZ 管理监督。
His reaction to the presidential debate this week-- he turns it on, and I guess, I don't know, he was really put off by the president's performance.
他对本周总统辩论的反应——他把它打开了，我猜，我不知道，他真的被总统的表现推迟了。
I'm on fire.
我着火了。
I'm burning up.
我正在燃烧。
Ira Glass Well, understandable, I guess.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 嗯，我想这是可以理解的。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
[MUSIC-- "SURVIVAL SONG," BY ANDREW JACKSON JIHAD]
[音乐——“生存之歌”，作者：安德鲁·杰克逊·吉哈德]
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。