470: Show Me the Way - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #470 | March 18, 2016 470: Show Me the Way Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 470 集 | 2016 年 3 月 18 日 470：给我指路 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass OK, so there's this couple.
序言 Ira Glass 好的，这对夫妇就是这样。
They've been married for years, had two kids, when they decided to separate.
他们结婚多年，有两个孩子，当他们决定分居时。
They get lawyers, start to figure out custody and split the property.
他们请了律师，开始解决监护权问题并分割财产。
But they're still living in the same house, and the guy is hoping that they're going to work things out.
但他们仍然住在同一所房子里，那家伙希望他们能解决问题。
They're going to marriage counseling.
他们要去婚姻咨询处。
They're going to parenting classes.
他们要去参加育儿课程。
And then one Saturday, the guy spots a text message on his wife's phone from another man to his wife saying, "I love you and miss you." And he's devastated.
然后在一个星期六，这个男人在他妻子的手机上发现了另一条男人发给他妻子的短信，上面写着：“我爱你，想念你。”他很伤心。
And he turns to someone he knows will be on his side, will help him make sense of this, tell him what to do-- his lawyer.
他转向一个他知道会站在他一边的人，帮助他理解这一点，告诉他该怎么做——他的律师。
The guy who represents him in the separation.
那个在分手中代表他的人。
What he didn't know was that his lawyer was probably, at that moment, the single worst person in the world for him to be bringing this up with because, as he later learned, the man his wife was having an affair with was his lawyer.
他不知道的是，当时他的律师可能是世界上最糟糕的人，因为他后来了解到，与他妻子有染的男人就是他的律师。
Of course, once the husband figures out the truth, he gets a new lawyer.
当然，一旦丈夫弄清楚真相，他就会聘请新律师。
The old lawyer ends up being charged with professional misconduct.
这位老律师最终被指控犯有职业不当行为。
I have right here the transcript of that disciplinary hearing.
我这里有那次纪律听证会的笔录。
Because the family's been through enough already with this, I'm not going to give their names here on the radio or tell you where this happened.
因为这个家庭已经经历了足够多的事情，所以我不会在广播中透露他们的名字，也不会告诉你这件事发生在哪里。
They have moved on.
他们已经继续前进。
I will just call them Mr. And Mrs. X.
我就称他们为 X 先生和 X 夫人吧。
And this transcript is an amazing document, because when you read it, you realize it's even worse than you would imagine.
这份文字记录是一份令人惊叹的文件，因为当你阅读它时，你会发现它比你想象的还要糟糕。
Like, it sounds bad, and the details make it even worse, because a lawyer, you know, is not just like a business consultant who you hire to deal with your paperwork.
就像，这听起来很糟糕，细节让它变得更糟，因为律师，你知道，不仅仅是像你雇用来处理文书工作的商业顾问。
A lawyer is really a confidant.
律师真是知己。
The Monday after he learns of the affair, Mr. X goes to his lawyer's office and pours out his heart about what's happened.
X 先生得知此事后的周一，他前往律师办公室，倾诉了所发生的事情。
At that point, Mr. X doesn't know who his wife might be seeing but suspects a firefighter in town.
此时，X 先生不知道他的妻子可能会见谁，但怀疑镇上有一名消防员。
This is from the hearing transcript.
这是来自听证会笔录。
Quote, "I'm sitting with the lawyer for an hour explaining to him how I can't believe she's having an affair, that I think it's the fireman.
引用：“我和律师坐了一个小时，向他解释我如何不敢相信她有外遇，我认为是消防员。
And he's looking at me right in the face.
他正直视着我的脸。
I'm in tears crying to him, you know?
我泪流满面地为他哭泣，你知道吗？
Because I never thought she would have an affair on me.
因为我从来没想过她会对我有外遇。
And here, he's right in front of me.
而在这里，他就在我面前。
He's the guy that's having an affair with my wife."
他就是那个和我妻子有染的人。”
The person questioning Mr. X asks, "What's he saying to you?"
询问 X 先生的人问道：“他对你说什么？”
Mr. X, "Nothing.
X先生：“没什么。
He didn't say nothing.
他什么也没说。
He didn't even seem to care I was there."
他似乎根本不在乎我在场。”
It gets even worse.
情况变得更糟。
Specifically, when they deal with the question of payment, which really boils down to if your attorney has an affair with your wife who is also, at the same time, the opposing party in the case, do you get a refund for that?
具体来说，当他们处理付款问题时，这实际上归结为如果你的律师与你的妻子有外遇，同时也是案件的对方，你会得到退款吗？
The $1,500 that you paid your lawyer, do you get that back?
你付给律师的 1,500 美元，你能拿回来吗？
In this hearing, the lawyer was actually given a chance to question the witnesses himself, which led to a totally surreal moment in which, under oath, the lawyer actually cross-examined Mr. X, the client whose wife he had an affair with.
在这次听证会上，律师实际上有机会亲自询问证人，这导致了一个完全超现实的时刻，在宣誓下，律师实际上盘问了与他的妻子有染的委托人X先生。
The lawyer says to Mr. X, quote, "When we talked about returning the fee that you paid me, isn't it true that I said I was willing to talk about it?"
律师对X先生说，“当我们谈论退还你支付给我的费用时，我不是说我愿意谈论这件事吗？”
Mr. X-- "No. You said you earned every penny.
X 先生——“不。你说过每一分钱都是你赚来的。
You said, 'I had done a lot of work.
你说，‘我做了很多工作。
And I feel like I earned all that money.' That's exactly what you said."
我觉得这些钱都是我赚的。”这正是你所说的。”
Lawyer-- "So you don't believe you recall hearing me say that I was willing to talk about it?"
律师——“所以你不相信你记得听我说过我愿意谈论这件事？”
Mr. X-- "No." Lawyer-- "Do you remember that I tried to apologize to you?"
X先生——“不。”律师——“你还记得我试图向你道歉吗？”
Mr. X-- "Yeah, I do remember that.
X 先生——“是的，我确实记得这一点。
I asked you, 'Don't you have something to say to me?' I said, 'For everything you've done, having an affair with my wife,' I said, 'don't you at least owe me an apology for all that?' And yes, you did.
我问你：“你没有什么话要对我说吗？”我说，“对于你所做的一切，与我妻子的外遇，”我说，“你至少不应该为这一切向我道歉吗？”是的，你做到了。
You said, 'I'm sorry for all that.' Does that answer your question?"
你说：“我对这一切感到抱歉。”这能回答你的问题吗？”
Lawyer-- "Did you at any point feel like you could bring yourself to accept my apology?"
律师——“你有没有想过接受我的道歉？”
Mr. X-- "It's going to take a long time.
X先生——“这需要很长时间。
I have and I pray for you every day.
我每天都为你祈祷。
And I hope God has mercy on your soul.
我希望上帝怜悯你的灵魂。
I really do."
我真的愿意。”
For his part, the lawyer said he never intended to hurt anyone.
律师则表示，他无意伤害任何人。
He was an alcoholic, he said, just coming out of a divorce himself, quote, "Lonely and not exercising good judgment." When he was asked about that moment in his office when Mr. X came in and cried, and he didn't say anything, he says, quote, "I remember feeling very awkward about it.
他说，他是个酒鬼，自己刚刚离婚，“孤独且没有良好的判断力。”当他被问及 X 先生走进办公室哭的那一刻时，他什么也没说，他说，“我记得当时感到非常尴尬。
In hindsight, I should have revealed the relationship sooner and withdrawn from the case.
事后看来，我应该早点揭露这段关系并退出此案。
And I did say to her on several occasions, 'You know, I'm going to have to bow out of this case.'"
我确实多次对她说过，‘你知道，我将不得不退出这个案子。’”
The person questioning the lawyer asks, "Well, why didn't you?"
询问律师的人问道：“那么，你为什么不这么做呢？”
The lawyer says, "Well, to be honest, it was very awkward.
律师说：“嗯，说实话，这很尴尬。
It was one of those things I just wasn't sure how to bring up or when to bring up."
这是我不确定如何提出或何时提出的事情之一。”
Yes, that is an awkward thing to bring up with your client.
是的，向你的客户提起这件事是一件尴尬的事情。
And I think the most extraordinary part of this transcript is the part where the lawyer tries to explain himself by telling his own, sad story.
我认为这份笔录中最特别的部分是律师试图通过讲述自己的悲伤故事来解释自己的部分。
Quote, "I found myself justifying aspects of the relationship in terms of positive intentions, if that makes any kind of sense at all.
引用：“我发现自己用积极的意图来证明这种关系的各个方面是合理的，如果这有任何意义的话。
I hope I'm not rambling too much.
我希望我没有胡言乱语太多。
I guess part of my-- part of my attraction to Mrs. X initially was that she was one of the first persons, one of the first individuals I had confessed my drinking problem.
我想我最初对 X 女士的吸引力部分是因为她是第一批承认自己酗酒问题的人之一。
And she was just so understanding and so supportive.
她非常理解和支持。
At the time, I couldn't believe it."
当时，我简直不敢相信。”
"If a girl meets a guy and finds out that he's a drunk, she should dump him, you know?
“如果一个女孩遇到一个男人，发现他是个酒鬼，她就应该甩掉他，你知道吗？
Run not walk to get away from the situation.
为了摆脱这种情况，要跑而不是走。
But she was very kind, very supportive.
但她非常友善，非常支持我。
I know it looks real bad."
我知道这看起来很糟糕。”
For what he did, he was suspended for practicing law for three years.
由于他的所作所为，他因执业律师被暂停三年。
But before the suspension was over, another case came up of professional misconduct, and he was disbarred.
但在禁赛结束前，又出现了一起职业不当行为案件，他被取消了律师资格。
For his part, Mr. X always regretted his choice of attorney.
就X先生而言，他一直对自己选择的律师感到遗憾。
He said, quote, "I've never had to deal with anything through the law in my life.
他说，“我一生中从未需要通过法律处理任何事情。
And I hired him as my attorney.
我聘请他作为我的律师。
I expected him to represent me, and he did everything but."
我本以为他能代表我，但他却做了一切，但事实并非如此。”
The problem, of course, is when you sign up with an attorney or anybody else to give you advice, to be your guide, you have to trust them, right?
当然，问题是当你与律师或其他任何人签约为你提供建议、成为你的指导时，你必须信任他们，对吗？
And you put your life in their hands in some situations.
在某些情况下，你把你的生命交到他们手中。
And it is a huge leap of faith.
这是信仰的巨大飞跃。
Today on our radio show, we have people who need help, who need advice, and who make some very unusual choices about who they take that leap of faith with.
今天，在我们的广播节目中，我们的人们需要帮助，需要建议，并且对于与谁一起进行信仰的飞跃做出了一些非常不寻常的选择。
A kid runs away from home to get advice from somebody who he has never met in his life.
一个孩子离家出走，向他一生中从未见过的人寻求建议。
A man in a terrible medical situation looks for a doctor and gets a world famous doctor who chooses to communicate with him only in rhyme.
一个病情严重的人寻找医生，却找到了一位世界著名的医生，他选择只用韵律与他交流。
From WBEZ Chicago, it is This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Just South of the Unicorns.
第一幕，就在独角兽以南。
When I was a kid, I wrote to my favorite astronauts.
当我还是个孩子的时候，我写信给我最喜欢的宇航员。
I wrote to my radio hero who was this funny proto-shock jock in Baltimore named Johnny Walker.
我写信给我的广播英雄，他是巴尔的摩一位有趣的原始冲击运动员，名叫约翰尼·沃克。
And I got responses.
我得到了回应。
I got satisfying responses.
我得到了满意的答复。
It doesn't seem so strange at that age to reach out to people who you idolize, no matter how far away they seem.
在那个年纪，接触你崇拜的人似乎并不奇怪，无论他们看起来有多远。
Logan Hill has the story of somebody doing just that.
洛根·希尔 (Logan Hill) 讲述了有人这样做的故事。
In the winter of 1987, my middle school in rural North Carolina was preparing for an event called The Night of the Notables.
1987 年冬天，我所在的北卡罗来纳州乡村中学正在准备一场名为“名人之夜”的活动。
For one night only, the members of the sixth and seventh grade would dress up as historic figures and mingle.
仅在这一晚，六年级和七年级的学生会打扮成历史人物并进行交流。
The parents would try to guess who we were.
父母会尝试猜测我们是谁。
Each kid picked a notable-- Lincoln, Washington, Harriet Tubman.
每个孩子都选了一位著名人物——林肯、华盛顿、哈丽特·塔布曼。
When it was my turn, the 12-year-old me said, "Piers Anthony." My teacher, Mrs. Beal, gently suggested I might want to pick someone a bit more, well, notable, because parents might not read as much science fiction and fantasy as I did.
轮到我时，12 岁的我说：“皮尔斯·安东尼。”我的老师比尔夫人温和地建议我可能想选一个更引人注目的人，因为父母可能不会像我一样读那么多科幻小说和奇幻小说。
But I would not be swayed.
但我不会动摇。
I was so obsessed with sci-fi and fantasy that, at my 12th birthday party, I was pulled off the roller rink for reading the sci-fi book I had just unwrapped while roller skating.
我对科幻小说和幻想非常着迷，以至于在我 12 岁生日聚会上，我因为滑旱冰时刚打开的一本科幻书而被从溜冰场上拉下来。
I read Ursula Le Guin, and Ray Bradbury, and Harry Harrison, and Harlan Ellison, and Larry Niven, and Robert Heinlein.
我读过乌苏拉·勒吉恩、雷·布拉德伯里、哈里·哈里森、哈伦·埃里森、拉里·尼文和罗伯特·海因莱因。
But at 12, the author I loved above all others was Piers Anthony, who cranked out four books a year filled with heroic adventures, goofy puns, wise-cracking ogres and sexy cyborgs.
但在 12 岁时，我最喜欢的作家是皮尔斯·安东尼 (Piers Anthony)，他每年出版四本书，里面充满了英雄的冒险、愚蠢的双关语、俏皮的食人魔和性感的机器人。
I loved all of it.
我喜欢这一切。
But what made Piers Anthony so different and so remarkable was that at the end of those books about alternate dimensions and apocalypses narrowly avoided, he would often write these rambling confessional author's notes.
但让皮尔斯·安东尼如此与众不同、如此引人注目的是，在那些勉强避免的关于异次元和启示录的书的最后，他经常会写下这些漫无目的的自白作者笔记。
They'd run 30, sometimes 40 pages, and they'd rarely be about the novels.
它们长达 30 页，有时甚至 40 页，而且很少涉及小说。
Instead, Piers Anthony would write about everyday life at his Florida home and what he dubbed mundania-- his tree farm, his vegetarianism, his martial arts exercise routines.
相反，皮尔斯·安东尼会写他在佛罗里达的家中的日常生活，以及他所谓的“平凡”——他的林场、他的素食主义、他的武术练习。
There were stories about his daughters, his wife, and the horse in his backyard name Blue that became the inspiration for a unicorn in one novel and a magical horse called The Nightmare in another.
有一些关于他的女儿、他的妻子和他后院的一匹名为“蓝色”的马的故事，这成为一本小说中独角兽和另一本小说中名为“噩梦”的神奇马的灵感来源。
The notes were personal, like a grown-up's diary-- clashes with publishers, family illnesses, daily responsibilities.
这些笔记是个人的，就像成年人的日记一样——与出版商的冲突、家庭疾病、日常责任。
I studied them to the point that I still remember when he upgraded his computer to MS-DOS and doubled his RAM from 256k to 512k.
我研究了它们，直到我仍然记得当他将计算机升级到 MS-DOS 并将 RAM 从 256k 增加一倍到 512k 时。
"When I write to you," he wrote once, "it is as if we are in privacy booth, and we are sharing things that neither of us would confess elsewhere."
“当我给你写信时，”他有一次写道，“就好像我们在隐私亭里，我们正在分享我们在其他地方都不会承认的事情。”
I was sure Piers Anthony would help me impersonate him at the Night of the Notables.
我确信皮尔斯·安东尼会帮助我在名人之夜模仿他。
So I wrote him the first and only fan letter of my life.
所以我给他写了我一生中第一封也是唯一一封粉丝信。
And he immediately responded with what seemed to be an Arc of the Covenant sized crate-- an amazing box filled with new books, his unpublished memoir, Bio of an Ogre , and a long, kind letter that wished me luck on my big night.
他立即回复了一个似乎是圣约之弧大小的板条箱——一个令人惊叹的盒子，里面装满了新书、他未出版的回忆录《食人魔传记》，以及一封长长的善意的信，祝我在这个重要的夜晚好运。
When that night came, I wore a fake beard cut from a scratchy carpet remnant, plus jam surfer shorts and flip-flops since I figured that's what they wore in Florida.
那天晚上到来时，我留着从粗糙的地毯上剪下来的假胡子，还穿着果酱冲浪短裤和人字拖，因为我认为他们在佛罗里达就是这么穿的。
In the school library, I told parents I was originally from England, but I built this awesome writing studio in my backyard.
在学校图书馆，我告诉父母我来自英国，但我在后院建了这个很棒的写作工作室。
And my novel, Ogre, Ogre , was the first fantasy paperback original on the New York Times bestseller list.
我的小说《食人魔，食人魔》是《纽约时报》畅销书排行榜上第一本奇幻平装原著。
I bragged that I'd written some 80 books, and I was so famous that my novels were on sale at the Walden Books across from the Food Lion.
我吹嘘说我写了大约80本书，而且我太有名了，我的小说在Food Lion对面的瓦尔登书店有售。
My teacher was right.
我的老师是对的。
Not a single one of these muggles could guess who I was.
这些麻瓜没有一个能猜出我是谁。
Steven King, one parent guessed.
一位家长猜测，史蒂文·金（Steven King）。
Star Trek, guessed another.
星际迷航，另一个猜测。
That's not even a person, I thought.
我想，那根本就不是一个人。
Somehow, I don't remember being embarrassed in the least about my choice.
不知何故，我不记得自己对自己的选择有过任何尴尬。
I don't remember the slightest hint of regret.
我不记得有一丝遗憾。
In fact, I remember sipping sparking apple juice through my itchy beard with a 12-year-old Harriet Tubman and feeling kind of smug about the whole thing.
事实上，我记得我和 12 岁的哈丽特·塔布曼 (Harriet Tubman) 一起喝着闪闪发亮的苹果汁，胡子发痒，并对整个事情感到有点沾沾自喜。
And if nobody knew who I was, that was their problem.
如果没有人知道我是谁，那就是他们的问题。
For a night, I'd walked in my favorite writer's flip-flops.
有一晚，我穿着我最喜欢的作家的人字拖行走。
And for years, I thought that had to make me his biggest fan.
多年来，我一直认为这一定会让我成为他最大的粉丝。
10 years after the Night of the Notables, I first met my friend Andy.
名人之夜十年后，我第一次见到了我的朋友安迪。
It was the summer of 1997.
那是1997年的夏天。
I'd gone to the coast of Georgia for a wedding.
我去佐治亚州海岸参加一个婚礼。
A bunch of friends of the couple, barely out of college, had gone out early to party.
这对夫妇的一群刚刚大学毕业的朋友很早就出去参加聚会了。
I was wading in the ocean with this guy Andy, a friend of the groom.
我和新郎的朋友安迪一起在海里涉水。
At some point, it came out that I was a writer.
在某个时刻，我发现我是一名作家。
And Andy asked me who I read when I was a kid.
安迪问我小时候读过谁的书。
I could've said some hip sci-fi author like Philip K.
我可以说像 Philip K.
Dick or William Gibson, but I told Andy the truth, that I'd been obsessed with this guy, Piers Anthony, who wrote about centaurs and ogres and unicorns.
迪克或威廉·吉布森，但我告诉安迪真相，我一直痴迷于皮尔斯·安东尼这个人，他写了有关半人马、食人魔和独角兽的文章。
And Andy cut me off.
安迪打断了我的话。
"Me, too!" he said.
“我也是！”他说。
"I was obsessed." This didn't happen very often, so I got a little competitive.
“我很着迷。”这种情况并不经常发生，所以我有点竞争。
I said, "No, I was so obsessed I impersonated him." And Andy said he was more obsessed, really.
我说：“不，我太着迷了，所以模仿了他。”安迪说他真的更着迷。
And then, I one-upped him by talking about my special letter.
然后，我通过谈论我的特别信来比他更胜一筹。
We went back and forth, out-nerding each other until finally I blurted out, "What, you weren't the kid who ran away to his house, were you?"
我们来来回回，互相较量，最后我脱口而出：“什么，你不是那个跑到他家的孩子吧？”
Actually, you said, "Were you that kid that ran away from home to visit him?" That's right.
其实你说，你就是那个离家出走来看他的孩子吗？这是正确的。
I totally remember that now.
我现在完全记得那件事了。
This is Andy.
这是安迪。
And the way I remember it is that after I said that, Andy just seemed sort of stunned.
我记得我说完这句话后，安迪似乎有点震惊。
And what did you think about when I said that?
当我这么说的时候你想到了什么？
I think I had a young person's flash of like, am I notorious?
我觉得我有年轻人的闪光点，我是不是臭名昭著？
I was shocked that anybody had heard of that, because it wasn't a story and still isn't to this day-- well, I guess today being an exception-- is not a story that I've told to very many people.
我很震惊有人听说过这个故事，因为这不是一个故事，直到今天仍然不是——好吧，我想今天是个例外——这不是一个我告诉过很多人的故事。
The fact was I had read about Andy in Piers Anthony's office notes many years before.
事实上，我多年前就在皮尔斯·安东尼的办公室笔记中读到过有关安迪的事情。
He'd included a couple offhand sentences about a boy who'd run away from home and showed up on his doorstep.
他添加了几句随口的句子，内容是关于一个离家出走并出现在他家门口的男孩的。
Andy had never seen this author's note himself, but the story had stuck with me.
安迪本人从未见过这位作者的笔记，但这个故事却让我印象深刻。
And if I'm honest, it was probably because I was a little jealous.
老实说，这可能是因为我有点嫉妒。
That same winter, when 12-year-old me was proudly dressing up in Piers Anthony drag, 15-year-old Andy was crossing seven states by himself to seek out our idol.
同年冬天，当 12 岁的我自豪地穿上皮尔斯·安东尼 (Piers Anthony) 变装时，15 岁的安迪独自穿越七个州寻找我们的偶像。
Andy's story wasn't the high-spirited adventure that I'd imagined.
安迪的故事并不像我想象的那样充满激情。
He doesn't like to dwell on the details of his teenage years mostly out of respect for his family.
他不喜欢过多地谈论自己青少年时期的细节，主要是出于对家人的尊重。
But the basic facts of his life back then are probably familiar to lot of unhappy kids.
但他当时生活的基本事实可能对许多不幸的孩子来说都很熟悉。
Andy lived in a suburb outside Buffalo, New York.
安迪住在纽约州布法罗郊外的一个郊区。
His parents had divorced when he was young, and Andy lived with his mother, half-sister, and his stepfather.
他的父母在他很小的时候就离婚了，安迪和他的母亲、同父异母的妹妹和继父住在一起。
His relationship with his mom wasn't good.
他和他妈妈的关系并不好。
His relationship with his stepfather, a red-blooded, corporate, athletic alpha dude, was worse.
他和他的继父——一个热血、有事业心、运动能力强的大佬——的关系更糟糕。
School was torture.
学校是一种折磨。
Not only was he small, the smallest kid in his class even at 15, but he was weird.
他不仅个子小，15 岁就是班里最小的孩子，而且还很奇怪。
He liked to read books about elves.
他喜欢读有关精灵的书籍。
He says he had nobody to talk to, didn't have a single friend.
他说他没有人可以说话，没有一个朋友。
By his sophomore year in 1987, Andy had so little hope of fitting in that he gave up trying.
1987 年，安迪读大二时，融入环境的希望渺茫，因此他放弃了尝试。
He started wearing his grandfather's 1940s fedora to school and buttoning his shirts up all the way to his neck, sometimes imagining he was from some other country, some other planet.
他开始戴着祖父 20 世纪 40 年代的软呢帽去学校，把衬衫的扣子一直扣到脖子，有时想象自己来自另一个国家、另一个星球。
The worse he felt, the more he retreated into fantasy until finally, like Spock slowly dematerializing on the transporter, he was barely in high school at all.
他感觉越糟糕，他就越陷入幻想，直到最后，就像史波克在传送器上慢慢消失一样，他才刚刚上高中。
I just gave up.
我刚刚放弃了。
I said, "[BLEEP] it.
我说：“[哔]它。
I'm not going to do anything." So I began failing all of my classes-- like all of them.
我不会做任何事。”所以我开始所有的课程都失败了——就像所有的课程一样。
I had to repeat the 10th grade.
我不得不重读十年级。
And I'm not a dumb person.
而且我不是一个愚蠢的人。
I just didn't-- actually, I would go to class.
我只是没有——实际上，我会去上课。
But I would just check out mentally with the help of Piers Anthony or Stephen King or whoever.
但我会在皮尔斯·安东尼或斯蒂芬·金或其他人的帮助下进行心理检查。
And then in class, I would have the textbook.
然后在课堂上，我会有课本。
And then, inside the textbook I would have Ogre , Ogre or whatever Piers Anthony novel.
然后，在教科书中我会有《食人魔》、《食人魔》或任何皮尔斯·安东尼的小说。
At the time, I also was really into Stephen King.
当时，我也很喜欢斯蒂芬·金。
It came out a few years later, but I remember I read It in class all day long for like eight hours, however long you're in class, 7:00 in the morning until 3:00 in the afternoon.
几年后它出版了，但我记得我整天在课堂上读了大约八个小时，无论你在课堂上呆多久，从早上 7:00 到下午 3:00。
And I finished that 1,000 page book in like two days.
我花了两天时间就读完了那本 1000 页的书。
That's how checked out I was.
我就是这样被检查的。
Like me, Andy loved Piers Anthony most of all, in part, because you never ran out of books because the guy just wrote so damn many.
和我一样，安迪最喜欢皮尔斯·安东尼，部分原因是因为他写的书太多了，所以你永远不会用完书。
And also because of those long author's notes, which he read as closely as I did.
也因为那些长篇的作者笔记，他和我一样仔细地阅读了这些笔记。
I loved them, and I devoured them as avidly as I did the rest of the book.
我喜欢它们，并且像阅读本书的其余部分一样贪婪地阅读它们。
And all he was describing was like the mundanity of his daily life.
而他所描述的一切，就像他日常生活中的平凡一样。
But it felt, to me, like he was talking directly to me.
但对我来说，感觉就像他在直接和我说话。
And it felt great to have an adult talk to me about the world and talk to me about adult life and leave nothing out, you know?
有一个成年人和我谈论这个世界，和我谈论成人生活，并且不遗漏任何事情，感觉很棒，你知道吗？
And explain things without it being condescending or talking down to me because I was a kid.
解释事情时不要居高临下或居高临下地对我说话，因为我还是个孩子。
And having trouble in school and no friends, it felt like he was a friend.
在学校里遇到麻烦，没有朋友，感觉就像他是一个朋友。
Little by little, Andy says he found himself fantasizing less about the wild adventures of Piers Anthony's novels and more about the everyday reality of those notes.
安迪说，渐渐地，他发现自己不再幻想皮尔斯·安东尼小说中的狂野冒险，而是更多地关注这些笔记中的日常现实。
And at some point, he stopped sneaking into the magical land of Xanth or the futuristic planet Proton entirely.
在某个时刻，他完全不再潜入 Xanth 的神奇土地或未来的质子星球。
Instead, he begin to imagine another escape-- what life might be like on the small farm in the modest house he'd read about in those author's notes.
相反，他开始想象另一种逃避——他在那些作者的笔记中读到的小农场、简陋房子里的生活会是什么样子。
To Andy, an ordinary, happy life seemed just as fantasical as the novels themselves.
对于安迪来说，平凡而幸福的生活就像小说本身一样幻想。
I don't remember exactly when it started, but it kind of crept into my mind.
我不记得它是什么时候开始的，但它已经悄悄地进入了我的脑海。
I'd been toying with all kinds of ideas about running away.
我一直在考虑各种关于逃跑的想法。
Like, I imagined myself doing something wild like walking across the entire United States on foot.
就像，我想象自己做一些疯狂的事情，比如步行穿越整个美国。
And a lot of kids want to run away and-- I don't know, what?
很多孩子想要逃跑——我不知道，什么？
Live with hobos?
和流浪汉住在一起？
I don't know.
我不知道。
For me, I wanted an alternate place to live.
对我来说，我想要一个替代的住处。
And so, I imagined walking across the country.
所以，我想象着步行穿越这个国家。
And then, somehow I think through these author's notes, I felt like I'd gotten to know this person through these very personal notes.
然后，不知怎的，我通过这些作者的笔记思考，我觉得我是通过这些非常私人的笔记来了解这个人的。
And so I felt like he would be somebody that if I explained my situation, he might care, and that he might give me shelter if I just went there.
所以我觉得如果我解释我的情况，他可能会关心我，如果我去那里，他可能会为我提供庇护。
Right away, Andy faced an enormous obstacle.
安迪立刻面临着一个巨大的障碍。
He didn't actually know where his favorite author lived.
他实际上并不知道他最喜欢的作家住在哪里。
But Piers Anthony left hints inside his books.
但皮尔斯·安东尼在他的书中留下了暗示。
His bestselling series is the Xanth series, a 36-novel universe that takes its name from its location, the magical kingdom of Xanth, a land of wizards and goblins and flirting fairies.
他最畅销的系列是《Xanth》系列，这是一个包含 36 部小说的宇宙，它的名字来源于其所在的 Xanth 魔法王国，这是一个充满巫师、妖精和调情仙子的土地。
I remember looking at maps a lot.
我记得我经常看地图。
I was into maps.
我很喜欢地图。
I had atlases and stuff like that.
我有地图集之类的东西。
And I remember looking at maps a lot and comparing them to the map of Xanth.
我记得我经常查看地图并将它们与克桑斯的地图进行比较。
As any fan on the books knows, the hand-drawn maps of Xanth look exactly like Florida only Key West become Centaur Aisle, Gainesville becomes a deep, black void, and West Palm Beach is transformed into a literal gold coast where sand castles are sculpted out of golden nuggets.
任何书迷都知道，Xanth 的手绘地图看起来和佛罗里达一模一样，只有基韦斯特变成了半人马过道，盖恩斯维尔变成了深邃的黑色虚空，西棕榈滩变成了名副其实的黄金海岸，那里的沙堡是用金块雕刻而成的。
As any fan of the author's notes knows, Piers Anthony lives in Florida.
任何喜欢作者笔记的人都知道，皮尔斯·安东尼住在佛罗里达州。
So Andy made a calculated bet-- that the capital of Xanth, that's where he'd find the real Piers Anthony.
于是安迪做了一个精心策划的赌注——在克桑斯的首府，他会在那里找到真正的皮尔斯·安东尼。
I was a detective.
我是一名侦探。
I sort of poured over these books and thought that I'd located, triangulated about exactly where he lived, based on the location of the capital of Xanth, just south of the unicorns.
我翻阅了这些书，认为我已经根据克桑斯首都的位置（就在独角兽的南边）定位、三角测量了他的确切居住地点。
And then, some other offhand comments that he made of stuff that was nearby.
然后，他对附近的东西发表了一些其他即兴评论。
And so I had it narrowed down to one of two small towns in rural Florida.
所以我把范围缩小到佛罗里达州乡村的两个小镇之一。
It was either Inverness or Floral City.
它要么是因弗内斯，要么是花城。
The two towns Andy had zeroed in on, Inverness and Floral City, were about seven miles apart in rural Florida.
安迪瞄准的两个城镇，因弗内斯和弗洛尔城，位于佛罗里达州乡村，相距约七英里。
But Andy decided he could work that out if he got there.
但安迪决定，如果他到了那里，他就能解决这个问题。
First, he needed money for a plane ticket.
首先，他需要钱买机票。
Andy had been working a paper route for years.
安迪多年来一直从事送报工作。
And his mother had been matching the earnings and depositing them into a college fund that Andy wasn't allowed to touch until after high school.
他的母亲一直在匹配收入并将其存入一个大学基金，直到高中毕业后安迪才被允许动用该基金。
But it seemed like his only shot.
但这似乎是他唯一的机会。
So on Thursday, February 19, 1987, Andy walked the half mile to the bank.
1987 年 2 月 19 日星期四，安迪步行半英里来到银行。
I just went up to the counter.
我刚走到柜台前。
I guess I must have filled out a withdrawal slip.
我想我一定是填写了提款单。
Or maybe not.
或者也许不是。
I think I just had the-- somehow, I got the account number.
我想我刚刚得到了——不知何故，我得到了账号。
And I just said, "I want all the money." And I don't know why, but the woman behind the counter-- the account had my name on it.
我只是说：“我想要所有的钱。”我不知道为什么，但是柜台后面的那个女人——账户上有我的名字。
I don't know if I had a student ID or what.
我不知道我是否有学生证或什么。
But she just said, "OK." And she gave me $1,200 in cash in an envelope.
但她只是说：“好吧。”她在一个信封里给了我 1,200 美元现金。
And I was a little astounded by that, that it had worked.
我对此感到有点惊讶，它竟然奏效了。
I think, at this point, I wasn't totally clear on whether any portion of this plan was feasible, right?
我想，此时我还不太清楚这个计划的任何部分是否可行，对吧？
The whole thing depends on getting money.
一切都取决于赚钱。
And then, boom, you've got money.
然后，繁荣，你就有钱了。
And it almost felt like a dare.
这几乎感觉就像是一个挑战。
With his envelope full of money, Andy prepared to leave the next day.
安迪带着装满钱的信封准备第二天离开。
But when he woke up, he chickened out.
但当他醒来时，他却愣住了。
For three days, he sat on the money and went back and forth about the whole idea.
三天来，他坐在钱上，反复讨论整个想法。
And then finally, on Monday morning, he packed a backpack full of clothes.
最后，在周一早上，他收拾了装满衣服的背包。
I kissed my mom goodbye, and I said, "I'm off to school." And instead of going to school, I walked to the airport, which is-- I'd have to look at a map now.
我吻别妈妈，然后说：“我要去上学了。”我没有去学校，而是步行去了机场，也就是说——我现在必须看地图了。
But I think it was at least eight miles.
但我认为至少有八英里。
And I wasn't totally clear on how to get there.
我并不完全清楚如何到达那里。
So I think it took me four or five hours to get in that general direction and then figure out where the airport was.
所以我想我花了四五个小时才到达那个大致方向，然后弄清楚机场在哪里。
Andy walked up to the first ticket counter he saw and bought a ticket to Orlando for 300-some dollars.
安迪走到他看到的第一个售票柜台，花了 300 美元买了一张去奥兰多的机票。
This would be his time on an airplane, his first trip anywhere without his family.
这将是他乘坐飞机的时间，也是他第一次没有家人陪伴的地方旅行。
He started to worry about his mom.
他开始担心他的妈妈。
So he bought a postcard with a picture of Niagara Falls on it, and he wrote something about how he had to go away for a while and might visit again in a year, maybe next Christmas.
于是他买了一张明信片，上面有尼亚加拉大瀑布的照片，他写了一些关于他必须离开一段时间并可能在一年后（也许是明年圣诞节）再次访问的内容。
Andy hoped that would be reassuring, so he dropped it in the mail.
安迪希望这能让人放心，所以他把它寄给了邮件。
Then, he got on the plane and hit Play on his Walkman.
然后，他上了飞机，按下随身听上的“播放”键。
What did you imagine was going to happen?
你想象会发生什么？
What was the goal of all this?
这一切的目的是什么？
I think the goal was to live somewhere else.
我认为目标是住在其他地方。
I think the goal was very simply just what it was.
我认为目标非常简单。
Like, I wanted to go live with Piers Anthony.
就像，我想和皮尔斯·安东尼一起住。
Was there a worry at some point, like Piers might not go along with it, or might-- were you certain that you would get there and everything would be cool?
是否在某个时候有过担心，比如皮尔斯可能不会同意，或者可能——你确定你会到达那里并且一切都会很酷吗？
Yeah, that's a good question.
是的，这是一个好问题。
No, I was not certain.
不，我不确定。
But I think I just, well, I'll worry about that when I get there.
但我想我只是，好吧，当我到达那里时我会担心这个。
Let's see what happens.
让我们看看会发生什么。
And I had all kinds of pie in the sky fantasies of what it would be like to live there with him.
我对和他住在那里会是什么样子有各种各样的幻想。
You know, happy days.
你知道，快乐的日子。
Yeah, what'd you think a day would be like?
是啊，你觉得一天会是什么样子？
That we would get up, and I could cook breakfast for the family.
我们会起床，我可以为家人做早餐。
And then, we would go out into the woods or the fields and ride horses or grow food or do work around the house.
然后，我们会去树林或田野里骑马或种植食物或在房子周围干活。
I think I wanted that the days would be purposeful for some reason, or that they would be exciting.
我想我希望这些日子出于某种原因是有意义的，或者是令人兴奋的。
Logan, can you correct me if I'm wrong?
洛根，如果我错了，你能纠正我吗？
Does Piers Anthony play the harmonica?
皮尔斯·安东尼会吹口琴吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Andy I imagined him teaching me how to play the harmonica.
安迪，我想象他教我如何吹口琴。
Yeah.
是的。
Andy Yeah, just like whatever.
安迪 是的，就像别的什么一样。
I imagined myself participating in the daily life that was the Anthony household.
我想象自己参与了安东尼一家的日常生活。
Andy touched down late in the afternoon of that Monday, beamed in from the icy cold of Buffalo to the tropical warmth of Florida.
安迪在那个星期一下午晚些时候着陆，从冰冷的布法罗到佛罗里达的热带温暖。
He couldn't believe that it had worked.
他不敢相信这竟然奏效了。
There were no buses to Floral City until the next day, so Andy had to spend the night in Orlando.
直到第二天才有去花城的巴士，所以安迪不得不在奥兰多过夜。
And actually, the next 24 hours tell you a lot about what Andy was like when he was 15.
事实上，接下来的 24 小时可以告诉你很多关于安迪 15 岁时的情况。
He hired a cab, the first cab he'd ever taken.
他雇了一辆出租车，这是他乘坐的第一辆出租车。
It was driven by a Jamaican guy, the first Jamaican guy he'd ever met.
驾驶这辆车的是一个牙买加人，这是他遇到的第一个牙买加人。
Because he was too young to check into a hotel, Andy paid the cabby $50 to get him a room at the Days Inn.
由于他太年轻，无法入住酒店，安迪付给出租车司机 50 美元，让他在戴斯酒店 (Days Inn) 找到一个房间。
Then, on the way, Andy thought of the $900 in his pocket.
然后，在路上，安迪想起了口袋里的900美元。
He wondered, "Why not have some fun?" If you can, think of all the things a 15-year-old boy away from home for the first time with no parents might do with nearly $1,000 in cash.
他想：“为什么不玩点乐子呢？”如果可以的话，想象一下一个 15 岁的男孩第一次离家出走，没有父母陪伴的情况下，拿着近 1,000 美元的现金可能会做的所有事情。
Andy turned to the cab driver.
安迪转向出租车司机。
So I made him take a little side trip to an art supply store.
所以我让他顺便去了一家艺术用品店。
And I made him keep the cab running.
我让他让出租车保持运转。
And I went in there, and I was like, wow, I could get anything I wanted.
我进去了，我想，哇，我可以得到我想要的任何东西。
So I got myself a really bad-ass portfolio to keep art in and a bunch of colored pencils, and pens, and paints, and brushes, and whatever else I wanted.
所以我给自己买了一个非常糟糕的文件夹来保存艺术，还有一堆彩色铅笔、钢笔、颜料、画笔，以及我想要的任何其他东西。
I probably spent $180 or something like that, which felt weird.
我大概花了 180 美元或者类似的东西，这感觉很奇怪。
But then, I was like, well why not, right?
但后来我想，为什么不呢，对吧？
Right, right.
对，对。
Andy Let the wild rumpus began.
安迪让疯狂的喧闹开始了。
Andy spent the night alone in his hotel room drawing until he got hungry.
安迪一个人在酒店房间里画了一个晚上，直到他饿了。
Then, he walked over to a Pizza Hut.
然后，他朝一家必胜客走去。
Until that point, Andy hadn't been very emotional.
在那之前，安迪一直没有太情绪化。
He remembers feeling nothing, really, just putting one foot in front of the other executing his great escape.
他记得实际上没有任何感觉，只是将一只脚放在另一只脚前面，执行他的伟大逃跑。
But alone with his personal pan pizza in a restaurant that looked just like the one in Buffalo, he started to think about his mom again.
但当他独自一人在一家与布法罗的餐厅一模一样的餐厅里享用他个人的平底披萨时，他又开始想起他的妈妈。
He pushed it down, didn't cry.
他把它压下去，没有哭。
1,000 miles in, Andy decided he had to see it through.
1000 英里后，安迪决定必须坚持到底。
In the morning, he hopped a bus to Floral City and arrived in the town itself.
早上，他搭乘巴士前往花城，抵达小镇。
Andy walked into the local drugstore and asked for the telephone book.
安迪走进当地的药店，要了电话簿。
He had based this entire journey on a hunch that Piers Anthony lived in the capitol of Xanth.
他的整个旅程都是基于皮尔斯·安东尼住在克桑斯首都的预感。
Now, looking in the phone book under A, there was no listing for Piers Anthony.
现在，查看 A 下方的电话簿，没有找到皮尔斯·安东尼的列表。
But he didn't panic.
但他并不惊慌。
Andy knew that Piers Anthony's full name was really Piers Anthony Dillingham Jacob.
安迪知道皮尔斯·安东尼的全名实际上是皮尔斯·安东尼·迪林厄姆·雅各布。
He searched through the phone book and found a listing for Jacob, comma, P.
他搜索了电话簿，找到了雅各布、逗号、P 的列表。
Beside it, there was an address.
旁边，还有一个地址。
Next, Andy hitched a ride.
接下来，安迪搭便车。
And the very first car to come along, a red Cadillac, stopped.
第一辆车，一辆红色凯迪拉克，停了下来。
He told the nice guy who picked him up a story about how he's visiting his uncle, and then ended up having to keep this lie going for several hours because after looking and looking for Piers Anthony's address, they realized the name of the street had been changed.
他告诉那个接他的好人一个关于他如何拜访他叔叔的故事，然后最终不得不继续这个谎言几个小时，因为在寻找皮尔斯·安东尼的地址后，他们意识到街道的名称已被更改。
They asked around and drove some more and eventually ended up on a long road into the woods.
他们四处打听，又开了一些车，最终走上了一条通往树林的长路。
At this point, we had been driving for at least three hours.
此时，我们已经行驶了至少三个小时。
It's getting more and more wooded.
树林越来越茂密了。
You're basically driving into the woods.
你基本上是在开车进入树林。
And the road stops being paved.
道路不再铺设。
And then, there's wooden fence posts.
然后，还有木栅栏柱。
But it's not clear what the wooden fence is holding in or keeping out because there's just trees everywhere.
但目前尚不清楚木栅栏阻挡或阻止了什么，因为到处都是树木。
And then, we get to the address.
然后，我们就到达了地址。
And in my mind, it's at the end of a dead end.
在我看来，这是一条死胡同的尽头。
But I don't think it was.
但我不认为是这样。
I think it just took forever, so it seemed like it was the end of a dead end.
我认为这花了很长时间，所以看起来就像是死胡同的尽头。
And we get there.
我们到了那里。
And I'm like, "OK, thanks a lot." I don't really want this guy to find out that it wasn't my uncle and that I don't actually know this person.
我说：“好吧，非常感谢。”我真的不想让这个人发现那不是我叔叔，而且我实际上并不认识这个人。
So I just jump out the car.
所以我就跳下车。
I grab my book bag.
我抓起我的书包。
I'm like, "Later days, thank you."
我想，“以后的日子，谢谢你。”
And then, just then, I knew that Piers Anthony had dogs.
然后，就在那时，我知道皮尔斯·安东尼养了狗。
But I didn't expect them to be insane, big, mean dogs, which is what they turned out to be.
但我没想到它们是一群疯狂的、大的、卑鄙的狗，结果也正是如此。
At least, in my memory they are.
至少，在我的记忆中是这样。
And there's a house.
还有一栋房子。
And then, there's a little shack out back which I immediately gathered was Piers' writing shack.
然后，后面有一个小棚屋，我立即意识到这是皮尔斯的写作棚屋。
Which he wrote about, yeah.
他写过，是的。
Andy Yeah.
安迪 是的。
And so the ruckus draws his attention.
所以骚动引起了他的注意。
And this bearded head pops out and sees me standing at the gate and comes out.
这个留着胡子的脑袋探了出来，看到我站在门口，就走了出来。
And I was like, "Oh my god, it's the man.
我当时想，“天哪，就是那个男人。
This is my idol here." And he just comes up to the gate.
这是我在这里的偶像。”他刚走到门口。
And he's like, "Can I help you?"
他说：“我可以帮你吗？”
And at that point, I've been through so much.
在那一刻，我经历了很多。
And I didn't really-- when he said, "Can I help you," or "What can I do for you," I didn't even know what to say.
当他说“我可以帮你吗”或“我能为你做什么”时，我什至不知道该说什么。
How do you explain, "What are you doing here?" And I just burst into tears and starting saying, begging him, "Can I stay with you?
你如何解释“你在这里做什么？”我泪流满面，开始恳求他：“我可以和你在一起吗？
I can cook.
我会做饭。
I could help you do blah, blah, blah.
我可以帮你做废话、废话、废话。
Please, help me."
请帮帮我。”
And I could tell he was just totally taken aback.
我看得出来他完全大吃一惊。
And he just kind of shook his head and was like, "Ah, you should-- you better come inside.
他只是摇了摇头，说道：“啊，你应该——你最好进来。
We need to talk about this." And I was like, "OK." And that seemed like progress.
我们需要谈谈这个。”我当时想，“好吧。”这似乎是进步。
I was invited into the house.
我被邀请进屋。
So we went in the house.
于是我们就进屋了。
We went in.
我们进去了。
And he sat down with me and proceeded to listen to my story and listen to my tale of woe of high school misery.
他和我坐下来，开始听我的故事，听我讲述高中时期的悲惨故事。
Andy says he told Piers Anthony everything.
安迪说他把一切都告诉了皮尔斯·安东尼。
He talked and talked.
他说啊说啊。
He remembers that Piers Anthony said very little.
他记得皮尔斯·安东尼很少说话。
Mostly, he just listened as Andy laid out all the reasons why he was there that day.
大多数情况下，他只是听安迪讲述他那天在那里的所有原因。
He told Piers about school, about how he had no friends, and about his home life and his stepfather, about how alone he felt.
他告诉皮尔斯关于学校的事情，关于他如何没有朋友，关于他的家庭生活和他的继父，关于他感到多么孤独。
Andy doesn't know exactly how long they sat there talking, but he knows it was hours.
安迪不知道他们坐在那里聊了多久，但他知道已经是几个小时了。
And so we sat there.
于是我们就坐在那里。
And he listened to my story.
他听了我的故事。
And we got to the end of it, and I was like, "So, can I stay with you?" And he was just like, "Ah, no. First of all, my wife would kill me if I took in a runaway." And we didn't really get to any more reasons than that, you know?
我们到了最后，我想，“那么，我可以和你在一起吗？”他就说，“啊，不。首先，如果我收养一个逃亡者，我妻子会杀了我。”我们并没有真正找到比这更多的理由，你知道吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Andy I'm sure that he was trying to let me down as easy as he could and be as-- which I guess involves passing the buck.
安迪，我确信他是想尽可能轻松地让我失望，而且我想这涉及到推卸责任。
"Hey, it's not me, man." It's a typical parent thing.
“嘿，这不是我，伙计。”这是一个典型的父母的事情。
"It wasn't me.
“那不是我。
It's your mom."
是你妈妈。”
But when he said that, it made sense to me.
但当他这么说时，我觉得很有道理。
I was like, "Ah, yeah.
我当时想，“啊，是的。
What I'm doing is wacky." I think it hit me for the first time.
我正在做的事很古怪。”我想这是我第一次受到打击。
Like, this is a really strange situation.
就像，这是一个非常奇怪的情况。
And this is a lot that I'm asking this person.
我向这个人提出了很多问题。
And then he said, "Look, I know that things are bad.
然后他说：“听着，我知道事情很糟糕。
But at this point, you have a couple options.
但此时，您有几个选择。
If you think things are so bad that you don't want to go back home, I can help put you in touch with people that will help runaways.
如果您认为情况太糟糕而不想回家，我可以帮助您与帮助离家出走的人取得联系。
Or if you think that things aren't that bad, you should call your parents and go back." Both of which seemed like really sensible options.
或者如果你觉得事情没那么糟糕的话，你应该给你的父母打电话然后回去。”这两个看起来都是非常明智的选择。
And so when he said that to me, I realized, OK, I need to go back.
所以当他对我说这句话时，我意识到，好吧，我需要回去。
Did you feel-- so it sounds like you didn't feel disappointed that he was essentially saying, no this fantasy you had of moving in with me is not going to happen.
你有没有觉得——所以听起来你并没有因为他本质上说的而感到失望，不，你搬来和我一起住的幻想不会发生。
Right.
正确的。
No, I think I might have felt a moment of disappointment when he first said no. But I think after-- the fact that he didn't just dismiss it out of hand as soon as I got there, that he sat down and listened to me and talked with me and tried to advise me in a really caring way, and me outlining my situation in words made me stop and really think about my situation more clearly, too.
不，我想当他第一次拒绝时我可能感到一阵失望。但我想，事实上，我一到那里，他并没有立即将其驳回，他坐下来听我说话，与我交谈，并试图以真正关心的方式为我提供建议，而我用语言概述了我的情况，这让我停下来，也更清楚地思考我的情况。
I think it made complete sense that he would say no. It didn't seem like a cruel thing to say.
我认为他的拒绝是完全有道理的。这话听起来并不像是残酷的话。
I felt a little disappointment that my fantasy had smacked into an uncooperative reality.
我感到有点失望，因为我的幻想撞上了不合作的现实。
But I felt sort of invigorated about reality itself from that and more interested in working with reality rather than retreating into fantasy.
但我从中感到对现实本身充满了活力，并且对与现实合作更感兴趣，而不是退回到幻想中。
Which is ironic that that's what a fantasy author-- that my interaction with a fantasy author was not more fantasy, that my interaction with a fantasy author was plain reality.
具有讽刺意味的是，这就是幻想作家的样子——我与幻想作家的互动并不更多是幻想，我与幻想作家的互动是简单的现实。
And it just felt good to be heard and to be accepted.
被倾听和被接受的感觉很好。
Andy says that was the first time anyone had listened to him explain why he was so unhappy.
安迪说，这是第一次有人听他解释为什么他如此不高兴。
And it felt like a fever or hex had broken.
感觉就像是发烧或咒语已经消失了。
Afterwards, Piers Anthony called Andy's mother.
随后，皮尔斯·安东尼给安迪的母亲打了电话。
And Andy remembers the sound of relief in her voice.
安迪还记得她声音中的轻松感。
They made plans to drive Andy to the airport the next day.
他们计划第二天开车送安迪去机场。
But first, Andy would spend the night in Piers Anthony's house.
但首先，安迪会在皮尔斯·安东尼家里过夜。
He'd get his wish for one day.
他有一天会实现自己的愿望。
That afternoon, Andy walked around Anthony's farm with Piers Anthony's teenage daughter.
那天下午，安迪和皮尔斯·安东尼十几岁的女儿在安东尼的农场周围散步。
He saw the horse named Blue who became the unicorn in Xanth and the gnarled branches that twisted their way into the horror novel, The Shade of the Tree .
他看到了那匹名叫布鲁的马，后来成为了克桑斯的独角兽，也看到了恐怖小说《树荫》中扭曲的粗糙树枝。
And though he didn't cook dinner for them as he'd imagined, he ate at the table with a family he'd hoped would replace his own.
尽管他没有像他想象的那样为他们做饭，但他还是和一个他希望能取代自己家人的家人一起在餐桌上吃饭。
After dinner, Andy sat on the couch with the Anthonys and watched a bad cop show on TV.
晚饭后，安迪和安东尼一家坐在沙发上，看电视上的黑警察节目。
And he remembers that feeling good and normal.
他记得那种感觉很好，很正常。
After the show, Piers Anthony gave Andy a copy of his latest manuscript and set up a bed for him in the room of their older daughter who was away at college.
演出结束后，皮尔斯·安东尼给了安迪一份他最新的手稿，并在他们上大学的大女儿的房间里为他准备了一张床。
Andy lay in bed reading about a young, Indian prince who gets recruited to become the god of war.
安迪躺在床上，读着一位年轻的印度王子被招募成为战神的故事。
With the world on the brink of apocalypse, the prince is the only one who can save it by learning how to turn back the hands of a doomsday clock.
世界正处于世界末日的边缘，王子是唯一一个能够通过学习如何拨回末日时钟的指针来拯救世界的人。
Comforted, Andy fell asleep, book on his chest.
安迪安心地睡着了，胸前放着一本书。
Andy returned to mundania the next day.
第二天，安迪回到了蒙达尼亚。
His family picked him up at the airport in Buffalo, relieved that he was back.
他的家人在布法罗机场接他，看到他回来了，松了口气。
Andy embarked on a crazy quest and actually pulled it off.
安迪开始了一项疯狂的探索，并最终成功了。
He studied cryptic maps and pieced together clues, faced down dogs at the gate, and fought his way to the oracle.
他研究了神秘的地图，拼凑出线索，在门口击败了狗，并一路奋战到了神谕之地。
In a fantasy novel, when a quest is completed, everything changes in an instant.
在奇幻小说中，当任务完成后，一切都会瞬间改变。
The zombies turn to ash.
僵尸化为灰烬。
The aliens disappear into the mother ship.
外星人消失在母舰中。
But Andy was right back where he started.
但安迪又回到了起点。
He still hated school.
他仍然讨厌学校。
He still struggled to make friends.
他仍然很难交到朋友。
He still flunked every class.
他每门课仍然不及格。
In fact, he'd have to repeat the 10th grade all over again like some accursed time traveler.
事实上，他必须像某个该死的时间旅行者一样重新重读十年级。
If anything, his relationship with his stepfather actually got worse.
如果说有什么不同的话，那就是他和继父的关系实际上变得更糟了。
Even so, something was different.
即便如此，还是有些不同。
Something had shifted.
有些东西发生了变化。
After Florida, Andy felt for the first time like there was a better world out there somewhere and he could find it.
离开佛罗里达之后，安迪第一次感觉到外面有一个更美好的世界，而他可以找到它。
And the whole thing was like fresh air.
整个事情就像新鲜空气一样。
It was like I pulled the lid off what had formerly seemed like this trapped existence where every situation was unpleasant and there didn't seem to be any way out.
就好像我揭开了以前看似受困的存在的盖子，那里的每一种情况都令人不愉快，而且似乎没有任何出路。
And so I just forced a way out like a hero in one of Piers Anthony's novels.
所以我就像皮尔斯·安东尼小说中的英雄一样，强行找到了一条出路。
And it was completely refreshing.
这真是令人耳目一新。
Yeah, it wasn't what I thought it would be or what I wanted it to be.
是的，这不是我想象的那样，也不是我想要的那样。
But it was exactly what I needed it to be.
但这正是我所需要的。
It was great.
太棒了。
OK, so we're dialing Piers Anthony.
好的，我们要拨打皮尔斯·安东尼的电话。
I kind of have butterflies.
我有点像蝴蝶。
This is surreal.
这是超现实的。
Logan Hill In the 25 years since Andy's adventure, he often thought of getting back in touch with Piers Anthony if only to thank him, to let him know that he turned out OK.
洛根·希尔 (Logan Hill) 自安迪 (Andy) 冒险以来的 25 年里，他经常想到与皮尔斯·安东尼 (Piers Anthony) 重新取得联系，哪怕只是为了感谢他，让他知道自己一切顺利。
But he never got around to it.
但他从来没有抽出时间去做这件事。
So we set up a call.
于是我们就打了电话。
Andy was worried that Piers Anthony might not even remember him.
安迪担心皮尔斯·安东尼可能不记得他了。
But he did.
但他做到了。
One of the things I do, I keep a record each day of what I do.
我所做的一件事是，我每天都会记录我所做的事情。
Usually, it's just how much I write and how much I read and so on.
通常，这只是我写了多少、读了多少等等。
And one of those days, I'd had, "Andy, four hours."
有一天，我说：“安迪，四个小时。”
[LAUGHTER] Logan Hill Actually, Piers Anthony remembered nearly everything.
[笑声] Logan Hill 事实上，Piers Anthony 几乎记得所有事情。
Well, you told me how your stepfather was basically mean to you.
好吧，你告诉我你的继父对你有多刻薄。
And you didn't like it.
而你不喜欢它。
As far as I know, your mother was OK.
据我所知，你妈妈没事。
But as far as I know, she didn't oppose your stepfather.
但据我所知，她并不反对你继父。
And so it made it ugly for you.
所以它让你变得丑陋。
And that, I understood without needing to understand the details.
而这一点，我不需要了解细节就明白了。
But I do remember my general advice as such was keep your head down.
但我确实记得我的一般建议是保持低调。
Endure it.
忍着吧
In a few years, you can get out.
几年后，你就可以出去了。
Uh-huh, yes.
嗯嗯，是的。
Piers Anthony And I think that's what you must have done.
皮尔斯·安东尼 我认为这就是你所做的。
Yes, absolutely.
是的，绝对是。
I think that's part of what made the next few years more bearable.
我认为这也是让接下来几年变得更容易忍受的部分原因。
They talked for an hour.
他们聊了一个小时。
Andy thanked Piers Anthony for his kindness that day.
安迪感谢皮尔斯·安东尼那天的好意。
And what became clear to me as I listened to them was that Piers Anthony had seen a lot of himself in the 15-year-old Andy.
当我听他们说话时，我清楚地意识到，皮尔斯·安东尼在 15 岁的安迪身上看到了很多自己的影子。
He said he'd had a rough childhood of his own-- divorced parents, bed wetting, bullies at school, lousy grades, all of it.
他说他自己的童年很艰难——父母离婚、尿床、学校欺凌、成绩很差等等。
My high school was a very fancy private school and so on.
我的高中是一所非常高档的私立学校等等。
They constantly solicit me for money to contribute to it.
他们不断地向我索要资金来捐助。
I never do.
我从来不这样做。
Because there, I was one of the-- they had the upper crust, and they had the lower crust.
因为在那里，我是其中之一——他们有上地壳，也有下地壳。
I was the lower crust.
我是下层阶级。
I was the one that nobody paid any attention to, that nobody cared about.
我是一个没有人关注、没有人关心的人。
I didn't like being a member of the underclass of the peons like that.
我不喜欢成为这样的下层苦工。
No one does.
没有人这样做。
Piers Anthony When I was in high school, I was in study hall and caught up on my homework.
皮尔斯·安东尼 当我上高中时，我在自习室里做作业。
And I was reading a fantasy magazine.
我正在读一本奇幻杂志。
And a proctor came by, caught it, threw it away.
一名监考员走过来，抓住了它，然后把它扔掉了。
Well, you want to know one reason I don't contribute to that school?
好吧，你想知道我不为那所学校捐款的原因之一吗？
That is one reason out of many.
这是众多原因之一。
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Piers Anthony People talk-- they sneer at escapism.
皮尔斯·安东尼 人们谈论——他们嘲笑逃避现实。
Well, there are those of us who need it.
好吧，我们当中有人需要它。
Piers Anthony is 77 years old now.
皮尔斯·安东尼现年77岁。
But really, he was just an angry kid who'd muddled through like everyone else, which surprised Andy.
但实际上，他只是一个愤怒的孩子，和其他人一样得过且过，这让安迪感到惊讶。
In the author's notes from his book Fractal Mode , book two of his Mode series, he writes, "One thing you who had secure or happy childhoods should understand about those of us who did not, we who control our feelings, who avoid conflicts at all costs or seem to seek them, who are hypersensitive, self-critical, compulsive, workaholic, and above all survivors, we're not that way from perversity.
在他的模式系列第二本书《分形模式》的作者注释中，他写道：“对于我们这些没有安全或快乐童年的人来说，你应该了解一件事，我们控制自己的感情，不惜一切代价避免冲突或似乎寻求冲突，高度敏感，自我批评，强迫性，工作狂，最重要的是幸存者，我们并不是从反常中走出来的。
And we cannot just relax and let it go.
我们不能只是放松并放手。
We've learned to cope in ways you never had to."
我们学会了以你从未用过的方式应对。”
Logan Hill.
洛根·希尔.
He's a senior editor at GQ magazine.
他是《GQ》杂志的高级编辑。
Coming up, no grime, mimes, or chimes, no organized crime, no vines to climb, just rhymes in one minute's time from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
接下来，没有污垢、哑剧或钟声，没有有组织的犯罪，没有可供攀爬的藤蔓，当我们的节目继续时，只有芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台在一分钟内发出的押韵。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们每周的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Show Me the Way, stories of what happens when you turn to unusual people or maybe even the wrong person for advice.
今天的节目“给我指路”讲述了当您向不寻常的人甚至错误的人寻求建议时会发生什么的故事。
We've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, Oh, the Places You Won't Go.
第二幕，哦，那些你不会去的地方。
In this act, like in the first act, somebody needs help.
在这一幕中，就像第一幕一样，有人需要帮助。
And instead of turning to those nearby, he writes a letter.
他没有向附近的人求助，而是写了一封信。
The correspondence is read by Jonathan Goldstein and David Rakoff.
该信件由乔纳森·戈德斯坦和大卫·拉科夫阅读。
Herr doctor, I find myself, for reasons inexplicable to me or my loving family, to have woken up this morning transformed into a cockroach.
医生先生，我发现自己，由于我或我亲爱的家人无法解释的原因，今天早上醒来变成了一只蟑螂。
I am reasonably certain this is not a dream.
我相当确定这不是梦。
Can you help?
你能帮忙吗？
I am usually in very fine fettle in the morning.
我早上通常精神很好。
But as a result of my new condition, I find myself unable to go into work.
但由于我的新情况，我发现自己无法上班。
And while my life has never been what you might call a bed of roses, this unfortunate turn of events has certainly made it worse.
虽然我的生活从来都不是你所说的称心如意，但这次不幸的事件无疑让情况变得更糟。
By way of example, this letter has been composed by painstakingly mashing my antenna into the keys of my father's typewriter.
举例来说，这封信是我将我的天线煞费苦心地敲入父亲打字机的按键中写成的。
It has taken me close to four hours and has left me with a horrendous migraine.
我花了将近四个小时，并留下了可怕的偏头痛。
I write to you because I have heard of your brilliance and your keen appreciation for the absurdity of this world.
我写信给你是因为我听说了你的才华和你对这个世界的荒谬的敏锐鉴赏力。
Please help.
请帮忙。
Yours, Gregor Samsa, Prague.
您的，格雷戈尔·萨姆萨，布拉格。
Samsa, I've only just opened your letter.
萨姆沙，我刚刚打开你的信。
Fear not, worry neither.
不要害怕，也不要担心。
We'll soon have you better.
我们很快就会让你变得更好。
You might feel like a freak, but I'll make you quite well.
你可能会觉得自己像个怪胎，但我会让你康复。
Your problem's unique, yet your name rings a bell.
你的问题很独特，但你的名字却很响亮。
A silkworm I knew used to live in a trillium.
我认识的一只蚕曾经住在延龄草里。
I think his name was Samsa.
我想他的名字叫萨姆沙。
Or was it Fitzwilliam?
或者是菲茨威廉？
Oh, well.
那好吧。
Please forgive me.
请原谅我。
My mind is a haze.
我的心是一片阴霾。
One really meets so many faces nowadays.
如今，一个人真的会遇到很多面孔。
If you ooze like a slug or you prick like a cactus, every ill-feeling bug finds his way to my practice.
如果你像蛞蝓一样渗出液体，或者像仙人掌一样刺痛，那么每一个不怀好意的虫子都会找到我的做法。
Whether dozens of styes mar your 100-eyed face, whatever your ailment, you're in the right place.
无论您的 100 只眼睛脸上有几十个麦粒肿，无论您患有什么疾病，您都来对地方了。
Not to brag, but I've never yet failed to determine whatever root causes were vexing a vermin.
不是吹牛，但我从来没有无法确定困扰害虫的根本原因。
Rest assured, I'll endeavor to glean and deduce.
请放心，我会尽力收集和推断。
You'll be better than ever or my name isn't Seuss.
你会比以往任何时候都更好，否则我的名字不是苏斯。
Dear Dr. Seuss, perhaps you do not understand.
亲爱的苏斯博士，也许你不明白。
And for this, I am probably to blame for not having made this point more clear.
为此，我可能要为没有更清楚地阐明这一点而负责。
While I am now a cockroach, I was not always one.
虽然我现在是一只蟑螂，但我并不总是蟑螂。
I was born a man and am now a bug.
我生来就是一个男人，现在却是一只虫子。
Do you see?
你看到了吗？
Is this even pertinent to my case?
这与我的情况有关吗？
I mention it only in the interest of aiding your diagnosis.
我提到它只是为了帮助您的诊断。
I hope I have not offended you with my quibbling.
我希望我的狡辩没有冒犯你。
If I have, the only defense I can offer is that I have not been myself.
如果我有的话，我能提供的唯一辩护就是我不再是我自己了。
I feel that time is of the essence in this matter because without my being able to go into the office, I fear my whole family will all too soon wind up in the poor house.
我觉得时间在这件事上至关重要，因为如果我不能去办公室，我担心我的全家很快就会住进这间破房子。
To migrate embarrassment, my father has already taken to eating his meals with lesser employees of the bank.
为了避免尴尬，我父亲已经开始和银行的少数员工一起吃饭。
Very sincerely, Gregor Samsa.
非常真诚，格雷戈尔·萨姆萨。
PS, pardon me if this is a rude question, but I must ask.
PS，如果这是一个粗鲁的问题，请原谅我，但我必须问。
Is metrical rhyme an American mode of correspondence?
韵律韵律是美国的通信方式吗？
If so, I apologize for not responding in kind.
如果是这样，我很抱歉没有做出同样的回应。
Were circumstances different-- that is, were I not a bug-- I would have very much enjoyed the challenge.
如果情况不同的话——也就是说，如果我不是一个bug——我会非常喜欢这个挑战。
As it is, though, typing even the simplest of prose taxes me for hours.
但事实上，即使是最简单的散文的打字也要耗费我几个小时。
The way that I speak gets a comment each time.
我说话的方式每次都会得到评论。
Some people have accents, while I like to rhyme.
有些人有口音，而我喜欢押韵。
Just as those who I treat might have thorax or a stinger, but nothing that ever resembled a finger, it's simply my way.
就像我治疗的人可能有胸部或毒刺，但没有任何像手指一样的东西，这就是我的方式。
I mean nothing by it.
我这么说没什么意思。
If you'd digits to type with, I'd tell you to try it.
如果您想输入数字，我会告诉您尝试一下。
But still, this attempt to be merely convivial can backfire sometimes and make me seem trivial.
但尽管如此，这种单纯的欢乐有时也会适得其反，让我显得微不足道。
And then, I am forced to make mollifications by dryly reciting my qualifications.
然后，我被迫干巴巴地背诵我的资格来安抚自己。
See, I'm a doctor who chiefly helps insects particular, a recap just briefly of my vitae curricular.
看，我是一名主要帮助昆虫的医生，这是我的简历课程的简要回顾。
One patient of mine, a tubercular chigger, was referred by a june bug who'd shrunk, then got bigger.
我的一个病人是一名患有结核病的恙螨，是由一只六月虫转介而来的，它先缩小了，然后又变大了。
I made the arrangements and booked him a trip to a mulberry thicket for that flea with the grip.
我做了安排，并为他预订了去桑树林里抓那只跳蚤的行程。
And there did he rest and sip syllabub tea.
他在那里休息并喝了茶。
But the thicket's the ticket for curing a flea.
但灌木丛是治愈跳蚤的门票。
A potato bug who would eat nothing but onions, a millipede suffering from 2,000 bunions.
一只只吃洋葱的土豆虫，一只患有 2000 个拇囊炎的千足虫。
A night crawler who could crawl only by day, a mantis who lost the volition to pray.
一只只能在白天爬行的夜行者，一只失去祈祷意志的螳螂。
A fruit fly whose flying resisted fruition are just a short list of the kinds of conditions I've treated.
果蝇的飞行抵抗果蝇只是我治疗过的几种病症的一小部分。
And all were made well double-quick.
一切都做得很好，速度很快。
I'm the one who they call when a crawly is sick.
当爬行动物生病时，他们会打电话给我。
But cockroach to human, or vice or verse?
但蟑螂对人类，还是罪恶或诗句？
What a mystery, a new one confounding.
多么神秘啊，一个新的令人困惑的事情。
What's worse is I've leafed through the pages of yellowing journals.
更糟糕的是我翻阅了泛黄的日记本。
Through thoughts from the sages I've sifted for kernels.
通过圣贤的思想，我筛选出了内核。
And no one, it seems, has devised an approach for how to return to a man from a roach.
似乎没有人设计出一种方法来让蟑螂变回人类。
For the nonce, I'd advise some geranium juice.
暂时，我建议喝一些天竺葵汁。
But stop if it turns your extremities puce.
但如果它让你的四肢变成紫褐色，就停下来。
And I will consult with my college chum Bruce.
我会咨询我的大学好友布鲁斯。
Till then, stay strong, Samsa.
在那之前，保持坚强，萨姆沙。
Your loyal friend, Seuss.
你忠实的朋友，苏斯。
Dear Doctor, please forgive me for my presumption.
尊敬的医生，请原谅我的冒昧。
But I fear you may not appreciate the gravity of my situation.
但我担心你可能不了解我处境的严重性。
I am a hideous monster, and I'm only getting worse.
我是一个可怕的怪物，而且我只会变得更糟。
Earlier today, my own father lobbed a basket of apples at me, one of which is still embedded in the soft flesh of my back.
今天早些时候，我的父亲向我扔了一篮子苹果，其中一个仍然嵌在我背上柔软的肉里。
Our charwoman, too, has grown weary of my grotesque, physical appearance.
我们的女佣也厌倦了我怪异的外表。
And whereas once she entered my room with good-natured shouts of, "Come out, you old cockroach!" when I hid beneath the couch, now she threatens to crack me on the crown with a chair when I crawl too close.
有一次她走进我的房间，善意地喊道：“出来吧，你这个老蟑螂！”当我躲在沙发下面时，现在当我爬得太近时，她威胁要用椅子敲碎我的头顶。
At your word, I am prepared to have my dear sister, the only one who seems to be able to stomach me, pack me into a wooden crate with air holes and ship me to your office.
按照你的话，我准备让我亲爱的妹妹，似乎唯一能忍受我的人，把我装进一个有气孔的木箱里，然后把我送到你的办公室。
My fate rests in your hands.
我的命运掌握在你的手中。
Please, doctor, you are my only hope.
拜托，医生，你是我唯一的希望。
Yours, G Samsa.
你的，G·萨姆萨。
Oh, Samsa, descriptions like that are invidious.
哦，萨姆沙，这样的描述是令人反感的。
It's human and callous to call yourself hideous.
称自己丑陋是人性和冷酷无情的表现。
I reckon among those of similar breed, you're actually handsome, quite handsome indeed.
我觉得在同类中，你其实很帅，确实很帅。
Remember when tempted to heap self-reproach that he who formed lilies created the roach.
请记住，当你想自责时，创造百合花的人创造了蟑螂。
But now to this new factor with which I must grapple.
但现在我必须应对这个新因素。
You say you've been wounded, that now there's an apple that's currently making its home in your back.
你说你受了伤，现在有一个苹果在你的背上安家。
Is it in the soft tissue?
是在软组织里吗？
Did your carapace crack?
你的甲壳裂了吗？
I've questioned my colleagues and asked my attorney about your perhaps maybe making the journey to see me and thereby see your problems ended.
我询问了我的同事并询问了我的律师，您是否会专程来看我，从而解决您的问题。
Alas, the consensus is not recommend.
唉，不建议达成共识。
The trip is too long, and they would not allow a cockroach through customs.
路程太长，他们不允许蟑螂通过海关。
Plus, I don't see how it would any way help ease your suffering and pain.
另外，我不知道这会如何帮助减轻你的痛苦。
The cost of the postage alone is insane.
光是邮费就贵得离谱了。
But do not lose hope.
但不要失去希望。
Disregard the above.
忽略以上内容。
I have news.
我有消息。
I've engaged the services of a carrier jubjub bird flying to you and in his beak berries, one green and one blue.
我聘请了一只朱布朱布鸟，它会飞到你这里来，它的嘴里衔着浆果，一绿一蓝。
Chew the blue 30 times, and the green 30, too.
咀嚼蓝色的 30 次，绿色的也咀嚼 30 次。
In a week's time, you'll see that you'll be good as new.
一周后，你就会发现自己焕然一新。
Now, rest and eat lots of magnolia custard and rosehip souffle and some dew drops with mustard.
现在，休息一下，吃大量的木兰蛋奶冻和玫瑰果蛋奶酥，还有一些芥末露珠。
And pay special mind if you're starting to blister.
如果你开始起水泡，请特别注意。
Wash the area daily.
每天清洗该区域。
You mentioned a sister?
你提到了一个姐姐？
Is she the one there who might broker a truce?
她是那个可能促成停战的人吗？
Samsa, please take good care.
萨姆沙，请保重。
Concernedly, Seuss.
令人担忧的是，苏斯。
Dear doctor, I feared at the beginning of this ordeal that I was no longer me.
亲爱的医生，在这场磨难开始时，我担心我不再是我了。
And now, I know this certainly to be the case.
现在，我知道情况确实如此。
At first, I thought my change had to do merely with the physical, with this horrifying metamorphosis.
起初，我以为我的改变仅仅与身体有关，与这种可怕的变态有关。
But now, I see that it is much deeper than that.
但现在，我发现它的意义远不止于此。
I used to wonder in my idle moments in a train carriage or an unfamiliar hotel bedroom when I was still traveling for my work, what might I do if ever my scant good fortune ran out?
当我还在出差途中，在火车车厢或陌生的酒店卧室里闲逛时，我常常想，如果我微薄的好运用完了，我该怎么办？
"Well, Gregor," I used to think to myself, "that would be easy.
“好吧，格雷戈尔，”我常常对自己说，“那很容易。
If I ever became a burden to the family, I would simply walk out the front door and throw myself in front of a team of carriage horses."
如果我成为了家庭的负担，我就会走出前门，扑到一队马车前。”
You have told me to stay strong, not to give up, as if the two were opposite things.
你告诉我要坚强，不要放弃，好像两者是相反的事情。
But I'm afraid you are mistaken.
但恐怕你错了。
We both are.
我们都是。
Sometimes, to give oneself up one must be strong.
有时候，要放弃自己就必须坚强。
In thanks for your friendship, I have composed for you a rhyme.
为了感谢您的友谊，我为您创作了一首童谣。
It's the first one I've written since my boyhood.
这是我从小到大写的第一篇文章。
And you'll have to pardon me if it isn't very good.
如果做得不太好，请原谅我。
You shall be remembered as the doctor who tried to determine what turned Gregor Samsa to vermin.
你将被铭记为一位试图找出格雷戈尔·萨姆沙变成害虫的原因的医生。
Forgive me.
对不起。
I was not able to get any further.
我无法再继续下去了。
Goodbye, dear Dr. Seuss.
再见，亲爱的苏斯博士。
Samsa, I am-sa.
萨姆萨，我是萨。
I read your last letter with no small alarm.
我读了你的上一封信，心里不禁有些惊慌。
It sounds like you're fixing to do yourself harm.
听起来你正准备伤害自己。
I know that you feel like you've got nothing left, like your time has run out, you're abandoned, bereft of all hope, that you've been forced to bear it in silence, your family's scorn, their indifference, their violence.
我知道你感觉自己一无所有，就像你的时间已经不多了，你被抛弃了，失去了所有的希望，你被迫默默承受家人的蔑视、冷漠和暴力。
I take it the jubjub bird failed to arrive.
我认为朱朱布鸟没有到达。
So how, my dear friend, will we keep you alive?
那么，我亲爱的朋友，我们怎样才能让你活下去呢？
I'd recommend exercise, plenty of fruit, but finally cede that such bromides are moot.
我建议锻炼身体，多吃水果，但最终承认这种溴化物没有实际意义。
Samsa, I need you to martial your will.
萨姆沙，我需要你磨练你的意志。
There isn't a purgative, poultice or pill or anything else on the pharmacy shelf that will make you so healthy as much as yourself.
药房货架上没有一种泻药、膏药、药丸或其他任何东西能让你像你自己一样健康。
You think your new body has made you a bother.
你认为你的新身体给你带来了麻烦。
You hold yourself guilty while blameless your father.
你认为自己有罪，而你的父亲却无可指责。
Gregor, we'd all die if physical beauty was needed for others to render their duty.
格雷戈尔，如果其他人需要美丽的外表来履行他们的职责，我们都会死。
Ever since our first letter, I've had this strange notion that I'd make you better, ignoring the ocean that makes up the distance that renders you Seussless.
自从我们写第一封信以来，我就有了一个奇怪的想法，那就是我会让你变得更好，而忽略了海洋，它构成了让你成为苏斯莱斯的距离。
But despite my persistence, I've been worse than useless.
但尽管我坚持不懈，我还是比没用更糟糕。
I'm astonished at times when I think of the past, of my thousands of rhymes, of how life is so vast.
当我想起过去，想起我的成千上万的韵律，想起生命是如此广阔时，我有时会感到惊讶。
I'm left, then, to wonder how anyone gleans a purpose or sense of what anything means.
那么，我想知道人们是如何收集任何事物的目的或意义的。
It's not ours for the knowing.
这不是我们的知识。
It's meaning abstruse.
就是深奥的意思。
We both best be going.
我们最好都走。
Your loving friend, Seuss.
你亲爱的朋友，苏斯。
Dear doctor, I found your letters among my brother's things when my parents and I were cleaning out our flat in preparation of moving.
亲爱的医生，当我和父母清理公寓准备搬家时，我在我哥哥的东西中发现了你的信。
It is my sad duty to inform you that Gregor died some three weeks ago, perhaps from his injury, an act for which my father blamed himself for days on end, although I doubt it.
我悲伤地告诉你，格雷戈尔大约三周前去世了，可能是因为受伤，为此我父亲连续几天自责，尽管我对此表示怀疑。
I think Gregor may well have starved himself to death.
我认为格雷戈尔很可能是饿死的。
When the charwoman found him, she pushed at his body with the handle of her broom, and he slid across the floor with no more weight than a dried leaf.
当女佣找到他时，她用扫帚柄推了推他的身体，他就在地板上滑了下来，重量不比一片干树叶重。
Before our charwoman disposed of him, I took one last look and saw that Gregor's shell had cracked open.
在我们的女佣处理掉他之前，我最后看了一眼，发现格雷戈尔的壳已经裂开了。
And just underneath were little wings.
下面是小翅膀。
He was a beetle, not a cockroach as we had feared.
他是一只甲虫，而不是我们担心的蟑螂。
A beetle, nothing more.
一只甲虫，仅此而已。
Even the word is lovely.
就连这个词也很可爱。
I know that ever since his childhood, Gregor had always had very vivid dreams of flight that left him happy in the morning.
我知道，从童年起，格雷戈尔就一直有非常生动的飞行梦想，这让他早上很高兴。
If only he himself had known, I kept thinking.
我一直在想，要是他自己知道就好了。
At any rate, dear doctor, I thought you should know what befell my poor brother and to thank you for all your efforts in his behalf.
无论如何，亲爱的医生，我认为你应该知道我可怜的兄弟遭遇了什么，并感谢你为他所做的一切努力。
If you should find yourself ever in Prague, please consider yourself most welcome in our home.
如果您来到布拉格，请认为我们家非常欢迎您。
Sincerely, Grete Samsa.
此致，格蕾特·萨姆萨。
That story was written by David Rakoff, who was Seuss, and Jonathan Goldstein, who was Samsa.
这个故事的作者是大卫·拉科夫（David Rakoff）（即苏斯）和乔纳森·戈尔茨坦（Jonathan Goldstein）（即萨姆萨）。
David has got a new book coming out next year, a novel written completely in rhyme.
大卫明年将出版一本新书，一本完全用押韵写成的小说。
Jonathan's new book, I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow , comes out in October.
乔纳森的新书《我会抓住明天》将于十月出版。
Our program was produced today by Sarah Koening with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Jonathan Menjivar, Lisa Pollak, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Sarah Koening 与 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Jonathan Menjivar、Lisa Pollak、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Our senior producer's Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人朱莉·斯奈德。
Seth Lind is our operations director.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的运营总监。
Emily Condin's our office manager.
艾米丽·康丁是我们的办公室经理。
Music help from Damien Graef and Rob Geddis, production help from [?
Damien Graef 和 Rob Geddis 提供音乐帮助，[?
Tariq Fudha ?].
塔里克·福达？]。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our Dr. Seuss/Gregor Samsa story was produced by Jonathan Goldstein and Mira Burt-Wintonick with Cristal Duhaime.
[鸣谢] 我们的苏斯博士/格雷戈尔·萨姆萨故事由乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 和米拉·伯特·温托尼克 (Mira Burt-Wintonick) 与 Cristal Duhaime 制作。
It first aired on CBC's great program WireTap , which is distributed in the United States by PRI, Public Radio International.
它首先在 CBC 的精彩节目 WireTap 上播出，该节目由国际公共广播电台 PRI 在美国发行。
It's also available for download online.
它也可以在线下载。
A program note, last week here on the radio show, we asked you to email, phone, or tweet at your local movie theater to ask them to book our upcoming film, Sleepwalk with Me .
节目说明，上周在广播节目中，我们要求您向当地电影院发送电子邮件、电话或推文，要求他们预订我们即将上映的电影《与我一起梦游》。
Thanks to you, we have now added 24 new theaters-- nearly doubles the number of theaters that we're at.
感谢你们，我们现在增加了 24 家新影院，几乎使我们现有的影院数量增加了一倍。
We jumped from 34 theaters to 58, which means that we only need another-- hold on, let me-- 4,291 theaters to catch up to The Avengers .
我们从 34 家影院跃升至 58 家，这意味着我们只需要另一个——等等，让我——4,291 家影院就能赶上《复仇者联盟》。
You can see the trailer at our website.
您可以在我们的网站上看到预告片。
See it for yourself.
亲自看看吧。
The film was written and directed by and stars Mike Birbiglia based on a story that he did here on the radio.
这部电影由迈克·比尔比利亚编剧、导演并主演，改编自他在广播中讲述的故事。
It's sincere.
是真诚的。
It's really funny.
真的很有趣。
It killed at Sundance, came home with an audience award.
它在圣丹斯电影节上大放异彩，并获得了观众奖。
We would love for you to be able to see the film with a crowd, which is the best way to see any comedy, in a theater.
我们希望您能够在人群中观看这部电影，这是在剧院观看任何喜剧的最佳方式。
A list of where we are booked now and the phone numbers, email addresses, and Twitter handles of theaters near you where we want to be is at our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org 列出了我们现在预订的地点以及您附近我们想去的剧院的电话号码、电子邮件地址和 Twitter 账号。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的项目进行 WBEZ 管理监督。
You know he took a tour of the White House this week.
你知道他本周参观了白宫。
And incredibly, there in the hallway, he actually met Barack Obama.
令人难以置信的是，在走廊里，他真的遇到了巴拉克·奥巴马。
And I just burst into tears.
我只是泪流满面。
And I started saying, begging him, "Can I stay with you?
我开始恳求他说：“我可以和你在一起吗？
I can cook.
我会做饭。
I could help you do blah, blah, blah.
我可以帮你做废话、废话、废话。
Please help me."
请帮助我。”
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。