464: Invisible Made Visible - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #464 | March 21, 2025 464: Invisible Made Visible Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 464 集 | 2025 年 3 月 21 日 464：无形变得可见 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而生，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Ryan started going blind when he was 18, so it's been a long time now that he can't see.
序言 Ira Glass Ryan 从 18 岁起就开始失明，所以现在他已经失明很长时间了。
And one night he flies to Chicago for this work thing.
一天晚上，他飞往芝加哥处理这项工作。
And gets to his hotel room and he wants to call his wife back home in Canada to let her know that he's arrived safely.
到达酒店房间后，他想给加拿大的妻子打电话，让她知道他已经安全抵达。
So all he needs to do is find the phone.
所以他需要做的就是找到手机。
And so I walk into the room and I find the bed.
于是我走进房间，找到了床。
And then to the left of the bed, I feel along and I find this nightstand, which is where I expect the phone to be.
然后在床的左边，我摸索着找到了这个床头柜，这就是我期望的手机所在的地方。
And so I feel up the nightstand and there's no phone.
于是我摸了摸床头柜，发现没有电话。
Fine.
美好的。
So I reach across the bed to the other side and find the other nightstand.
于是我把手伸到床的另一边，找到了另一个床头柜。
And I feel that one up, and there's no phone.
我感觉到了，但没有电话。
That's unusual, right?
这很不寻常，对吧？
Ryan Knighton It's a bit odd, right?
瑞恩·奈顿 这有点奇怪，对吧？
So Ryan can shuffle cautiously around till his knees graze into things.
所以瑞安可以小心翼翼地走来走去，直到他的膝盖擦到东西。
And that's how he finds a sofa.
这就是他找到沙发的方法。
Which orients him.
这为他指明了方向。
And so I turn to where I think there might be a table, and poof!
于是我转向我认为可能有桌子的地方，然后噗！
There's a coffee table.
有一张咖啡桌。
So I grope this coffee table for a while and there's no phone on it.
于是我摸索了这张咖啡桌一会儿，上面没有电话。
Grope is kind of a funny word to use for this.
摸索这个词用起来有点有趣。
It sort of feels that way, though.
不过，感觉有点像这样。
You're just sort of-- because you don't know where anything begins or ends, so you really maul it.
你只是——因为你不知道任何事情从哪里开始或结束，所以你真的破坏了它。
He says that as he moves around any new place, he doesn't exactly draw a map in his head.
他说，当他在任何新地方移动时，他并不会在脑海中准确地绘制地图。
He says that it's more like wandering around in a first-person video game.
他说这更像是在第一人称视频游戏中闲逛。
One where nothing is visible until he touches it.
一个在他触摸之前什么都看不见的地方。
So he figures OK, let's see what is on the other side of this coffee table that he's found.
所以他认为好吧，让我们看看他在咖啡桌的另一边发现了什么。
And he edges forward in the room.
他在房间里向前移动。
And I find there's a desk.
我发现那里有一张桌子。
And I'm like, aha, the desk!
我就像，啊哈，桌子！
So I feel around on the desk and there's a lamp and there's the notepad I'll never use, and there's stuff, but there's no phone.
所以我摸索桌子周围，有一盏灯，还有我永远不会用的记事本，还有东西，但没有电话。
So I'm left to my last blind guy resort, which is I go back to the beginning.
所以我只剩下最后一个盲人度假村，那就是我回到起点。
Back to the bed and I find the wall.
回到床上，我找到了墙。
And I start Marcel Marceauing the walls.
我开始用马塞尔·马索（Marcel Marceau）翻墙。
I'm wiping them up and down.
我正在把它们上下擦拭。
And I round the fourth corner and I get to the bathroom, and I go past the bathroom and there's nothing.
我绕过第四个拐角，来到洗手间，经过洗手间，什么也没有。
And I feel behind me again and the bed is back behind me again.
我再次感觉到在我身后，床又回到了我身后。
So I've circled this room.
所以我绕着这个房间转了一圈。
And I even thought, well maybe it's a super fancy hotel.
我什至想，也许这是一家超级豪华的酒店。
And maybe there's a phone in the bathroom.
也许浴室里有电话。
And I go in there and there's nothing.
我进去了，什么也没有。
So I circle the room two more times this way, wiping it down.
于是我就这样绕着房间转了两圈，把它擦干净了。
And I check the coffee table again.
我再次检查了咖啡桌。
I check the desk again.
我又检查了一下桌子。
And I just figure, forget it.
我只是想，算了吧。
I'll just go to bed and try again tomorrow.
我去睡觉，明天再试一次。
So he goes to bed.
于是他去睡觉了。
Doesn't call his wife.
不打电话给他的妻子。
Sleeps.
睡觉了。
And in the morning, he wakes up to the sound of something curious.
早上，他被某种奇怪的声音吵醒。
A phone ringing.
电话铃声响起。
And groggy, he follows the sound, and finds somehow now, there is a phone in this room.
他昏昏沉沉地顺着声音循行，不知怎的，现在发现这个房间里有一部电话。
And the phone is on a coffee table.
电话放在咖啡桌上。
Now I know I felt that thing up to an illicit degree.
现在我知道我对这种感觉的感受达到了非法的程度。
I mauled that coffee table, and there was nothing on that table last night.
我把那张咖啡桌砸坏了，昨晚那张桌子上什么也没有。
And so I answer the phone and it's my wife.
我接了电话，是我妻子打来的。
And she says, "why didn't you call me last night?" And I said, "well there was no phone.
她说：“你昨晚为什么不给我打电话？”我说：“好吧，没有电话。
But there is now."
但现在有了。”
She doesn't believe him that there was no phone, but this is kind of par for the course when you're married to a blind guy.
她不相信他说没有电话，但当你嫁给一个盲人时，这是理所当然的。
And so we talk.
我们就这样聊。
And then I hang up the phone and I go to get back into bed, and there's now a wall there.
然后我挂断电话，回到床上，现在那里有一堵墙。
A wall.
一堵墙。
Where the bed should be is now a wall.
本来应该放床的地方现在变成了一堵墙。
He feels for the sofa.
他摸索着沙发。
The sofa's right where it should be.
沙发就在它该在的地方。
The wall behind the sofa is right where it should be, right there in place.
沙发后面的墙就在它该在的地方，就在它该在的地方。
He feels along the sofa again, inches towards where the bed should be, and yes, it's still a wall.
他又沿着沙发摸了摸，距离床应该在的地方只有几英寸，是的，它仍然是一堵墙。
And I'm totally disoriented at this point.
此时我完全迷失了方向。
Like it's funny and it's also sort of terrifying.
好像很有趣，但也有点可怕。
Because I know the bed was there, and now there's a wall.
因为我知道床就在那里，而现在有一堵墙。
And I keep touching the wall, thinking maybe this time it'll go away.
我不断地触碰墙壁，心想也许这一次它会消失。
And I go to the left, and there's another wall now.
我向左走，现在又出现了一堵墙。
And I'm a grown man and I'm lost in a hotel room.
我是一个成年人了，我迷失在酒店房间里。
So what's your next move?
那么你的下一步行动是什么？
What do you do?
你做什么工作？
I ended up doing the Marcel Marceau thing.
我最终做了马塞尔·马索的事情。
I start wiping the walls, feeling my way along the edges, and it wraps back around till I find the bed is actually behind me.
我开始擦拭墙壁，沿着边缘摸索，然后它又绕回来，直到我发现床实际上在我身后。
He was in a part of the room that he hadn't encountered the night before.
他正身处房间里他前一天晚上没有遇到过的地方。
This was an alcove on a side of the bed that he just never discovered.
这是床边的一个凹室，他只是从未发现过。
So here's what the room actually looked like.
这就是房间的实际样子。
There are two coffee tables and two sofas on the left and the right side of the bed.
床的左右各有两张茶几和两张沙发。
The mistake that he made the night before was this.
他前一天晚上犯的错误就是这个。
When he was Marcel Marceauing the walls, he got 3/4 of the way around the room and got to the last wall.
当他是 Marcel Marceau 时，他绕着墙壁走了 3/4，到达了最后一面墙。
And he didn't actually feel all the way along that wall until it met another wall.
事实上，他并没有沿着那堵墙一路摸索，直到它遇到了另一堵墙。
Basically, he went a little ways down that wall, felt that the bed was behind him.
基本上，他沿着那堵墙走了一小段路，感觉到床就在他身后。
So when he realized that the bed was behind him, be figured he was done.
所以当他意识到床在他身后时，他就认为他已经完成了。
He stopped feeling that wall.
他不再感觉到那堵墙了。
He just assumed that the wall continued for another eight feet or so.
他只是假设墙还会继续延伸八英尺左右。
But it didn't continue.
但事情没有继续。
It stopped.
它停了下来。
And there was this alcove.
还有这个凹室。
And this is the problem.
这就是问题所在。
When you're blind, you just can't assume anything.
当你盲目时，你就无法假设任何事情。
And the problem is you get a picture in your mind and if you get it wrong, you just live inside the mistake.
问题是你脑子里有一幅图画，如果你弄错了，你就生活在错误之中。
This kind of thing happens to him a lot.
这种事在他身上发生过很多次。
Way, way more than you would think.
方式，比你想象的要多得多。
Two weeks before our interview, he got lost in another hotel room, this one in Los Angeles.
在我们采访前两周，他在洛杉矶的另一间酒店房间里迷路了。
He couldn't find the door to get out of the room.
他找不到离开房间的门。
He says that during the decade that he slowly went blind--
他说，在这十年里，他慢慢失明了——
It took me a long time to come to understand that blindness actually wasn't the main problem.
我花了很长时间才明白失明实际上并不是主要问题。
The main problem was embarrassment.
主要问题是尴尬。
That I had to give myself over to the slapstick of things.
我不得不让自己屈服于事情的闹剧。
To state the obvious, sometimes it is just a lot easier to see things.
显而易见的是，有时看到事物要容易得多。
Clears a lot of things up.
澄清了很多事情。
And today on our radio show, we have all kinds of stories of people trying to take things that are normally invisible to them and make them visible.
今天，在我们的广播节目中，我们有各种各样的故事，人们试图将通常看不见的东西变得可见。
I'm talking about unspoken feelings.
我说的是不言而喻的感受。
I'm talking about people's secret lives.
我说的是人们的秘密生活。
I'm talking, in a very literal way, about me and the other people doing stories on today's radio program.
我以一种非常字面的方式谈论我和其他人在今天的广播节目中讲故事。
As people on the radio, usually we are invisible, but today we are bringing you excerpts from the show that we did on stage in front of people last week in New York City, and then beamed into movie theaters all across the United States and Canada and Australia.
作为广播中的人们，我们通常是隐形的，但今天我们为您带来我们上周在纽约市舞台上在人们面前表演的节目的节选，然后传送到美国、加拿大和澳大利亚各地的电影院。
Some of the stuff on that show-- in fact, a lot of the stuff on that show-- was way too visual to put on the radio.
该节目中的一些内容——事实上，该节目中的很多内容——太视觉化了，无法放在广播中。
But the rest of the show consisted of these great stories from David Sedaris and David Rakoff, and Tig Notaro, and others.
但节目的其余部分包括大卫·塞达里斯、大卫·拉科夫、蒂格·诺塔罗等人的精彩故事。
We have a really nice show for you today.
今天我们为您带来了一场非常精彩的表演。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One: Does a bear hit in the woods?
第一幕：熊会袭击树林吗？
So let's go to the first story that I'm gonna play you from the cinema event that we did.
那么，让我们来看第一个故事，我将在我们举办的电影活动中为您扮演。
The guy who you just heard, actually, Ryan Knighton.
你刚才听到的那个人，实际上是瑞恩·奈顿。
He has this story that is not about what is invisible to him, as somebody who can't see.
作为一个看不见的人，他的故事并不是关于他看不见的东西。
It's about being invisible.
这是关于隐形的。
Here he is, Ryan Knighton.
他在这里，瑞恩·奈顿。
I couldn't wait to tell my daughter that I'm a blind guy.
我迫不及待地想告诉我的女儿我是个盲人。
And I'm not saying I was excited to tell her, I'm saying I couldn't wait to tell her in a way that she could actually grasp the basic concept of blindness.
我并不是说我很高兴告诉她，而是说我迫不及待地想以一种让她真正掌握失明的基本概念的方式告诉她。
The trouble is, a two-year-old can't imagine what it's like to be another person, let alone imagine an entirely different physical reality like blindness.
问题是，一个两岁的孩子无法想象成为另一个人会是什么样子，更不用说想象像失明这样完全不同的物理现实了。
I'd say to her, "Papa sees what you see when you close your eyes, but mine are open." Which makes no sense.
我会对她说：“爸爸看到的是你闭上眼睛时看到的东西，但我的是睁着眼睛的。”这毫无意义。
To anybody.
对任何人。
So the miscommunications began to pile up between us.
于是我们之间的沟通不畅就开始堆积起来。
One day I'm standing in the hallway of our house and Tess either kicked or rolled this foam soccer ball to me.
有一天，我站在我们家的走廊上，苔丝要么把这个泡沫足球踢给我，要么把它滚给我。
Foam soccer balls are really quiet.
泡沫足球真的很安静。
You see my problem.
你看到我的问题了。
And it rolled by, yes, and I ignored it.
是的，它滚滚而过，我忽略了它。
But I didn't know it was there.
但我不知道它在那里。
And she got upset.
她很不高兴。
She wants to know why didn't I kick it back to her?
她想知道我为什么不把它踢回给她？
Why didn't I want to play with her?
为什么我不想和她一起玩？
And she began to cry.
她开始哭泣。
Now I don't know what's going on at all.
现在我根本不知道发生了什么事。
So I'm just saying things like, "what's wrong, punkin?" And like, "hey, why don't you go get your ball or something?"
所以我只是说“怎么了，小混蛋？”就像，“嘿，你为什么不去拿你的球什么的？”
Yeah, my wife did see this happen later on.
是的，我妻子后来确实看到了这种情况。
And only then did I learn how I was rejecting my kid all day.
直到那时我才知道我是如何整天拒绝我的孩子的。
And part of me felt useless as a father.
我的一部分感觉作为一个父亲毫无用处。
And another part of me just felt really angry at NERF.
我的另一部分只是对 NERF 感到非常愤怒。
Another time I picked up Tess at a daycare.
还有一次我去托儿所接苔丝。
And "Papa, Papa!" she screams as I walk in.
还有“爸爸，爸爸！”当我走进去时她尖叫起来。
And she sees me, and I squat down and I open my arms, and I wait for the hug.
她看到了我，我蹲下来，张开双臂，等待拥抱。
Because it's best that I wait, because the floor is dotted with babies between us.
因为我最好等待，因为我们之间的地板上散布着婴儿。
And nothing ruins our sweet moment like me stomping on babies.
没有什么比我踩婴儿更能破坏我们甜蜜的时刻了。
So her body slams into mine and she wraps herself in a monkey hug, and I tell her how much I've missed her.
于是她的身体撞到了我的身上，她用猴子般的拥抱包裹着自己，我告诉她我有多么想念她。
And of course, to that, she cries.
当然，为此她哭了。
But she cried on the other side of the room.
但她在房间的另一边哭了。
And suddenly, I feel this body and it's not familiar.
突然间，我感觉到了这个身体，它并不熟悉。
And in fact, it's a little boy.
事实上，这是一个小男孩。
And Tess is crying "Papa, Papa!" as if the word itself hurts, on the other side of the room.
苔丝哭着“爸爸，爸爸！”就好像这个词本身就伤害了房间的另一边。
And so she just can't understand why I've hugged another child And I chase after the sound of her, and I'm sorry about the babies.
所以她就是不明白为什么我拥抱了另一个孩子，我追逐着她的声音，我对孩子们感到抱歉。
So the miscommunications piled up, and they were mostly just little heartbreaks, but sometimes they were dangerous.
于是，沟通不畅就堆积起来，大多只是小小的心碎，但有时却是危险的。
There's times when I would walk her to the daycare in the morning.
有时早上我会送她去日托所。
And I work at a university, and we'd walk across campus together in the morning.
我在一所大学工作，早上我们会一起穿过校园。
And she'd be in one of those NASCAR roll cage backpack things, which are great for blind fathers.
她会穿着纳斯卡防滚架背包之一，这对盲人父亲来说非常有用。
And we'd make our way across campus, and it's beautiful.
我们穿过校园，校园很美。
It's in the mountains and it's forested.
它在山里，森林茂密。
And I say this just so you can understand my legitimate panic when from her backpack she said to me one of her few words.
我这么说只是为了让你能理解当她从背包里对我说了她的几句话之一时我的合理恐慌。
She said "bear."
她说“熊”。
And I turned, 'cause I can still see some smears, so I looked for a big black one.
我转过身来，因为我仍然可以看到一些污迹，所以我寻找了一个大的黑色污迹。
"Bear." And I said, "There?
“熊。”我说：“在那里？
Like we're going over there?"
好像我们要去那里？”
And she's "bear, bear." And she's getting more upset, very clearly.
她是“熊，熊”。很明显，她变得更加心烦意乱。
Now this is Canada.
现在这是加拿大。
We're in the forest.
我们在森林里。
And this is the mountains, and the bears love our dumpsters.
这里是山，熊喜欢我们的垃圾箱。
They dine frequently.
他们经常吃饭。
The security guards just tell us which entrances and exits to avoid and they even just lock down the daycare and let the kids bust out the Goldfish crackers and watch the bears from the windows like some demented drive-in movie.
保安只是告诉我们要避开哪些入口和出口，他们甚至只是封锁了日托中心，让孩子们拿出金鱼饼干，从窗户里看熊，就像看一部疯狂的汽车影院电影一样。
And now Tess is watching one from the comfort of my back.
现在，苔丝正坐在我舒适的背上看着其中一个。
And where it is I have no idea.
我不知道它在哪里。
Now I can feel she's upset and she's sort of leaning.
现在我能感觉到她很沮丧并且有点倾斜。
So I reached behind me, and I grabbed her hand, and she was pointing right behind us.
于是我把手伸到身后，抓住她的手，她指着我们身后。
So I reeled around to face the bear.
于是我转身面对熊。
And I smelled for it.
我闻到了它的味道。
And I have no idea what bear smell is.
我不知道熊的气味是什么。
Now I didn't know if I should run, or if that would startle the bear to charge us.
现在我不知道我是否应该逃跑，或者这是否会吓到熊向我们冲来。
Or if I would just run into the bear, and that would be ironic.
或者如果我碰上那只熊，那就太讽刺了。
So I said, "let's just go this way, punkin." And I started to run, and she got really upset.
所以我说：“我们就这样走吧，小混蛋。”我开始逃跑，她非常沮丧。
So I said, "actually, let's go this way."
于是我说：“其实，我们就这样走吧。”
And she got really upset.
她真的很沮丧。
And I thought, well I'm running, I'm pinballing around this parking lot with a baby on my back like a Geiger counter.
我想，好吧，我正在跑步，我在停车场周围弹球，背上有一个婴儿，就像盖革计数器一样。
And then it occurs to me.
然后我想到了。
And I reach back with both hands, and yeah, she dropped her teddy bear.
我伸出双手，是的，她掉下了她的泰迪熊。
And yeah, she'd grown a little frustrated.
是的，她有点沮丧。
But everything changed when she was three.
但一切在她三岁时发生了变化。
And I remember the exact moment.
我记得那一刻。
We were sitting in the kitchen and I asked her to pass me a cookie and she did.
我们坐在厨房里，我请她递给我一块饼干，她照做了。
And I reached for it and did my usual dumb crab pinching the air thing.
我伸手去拿它，做了我惯常的愚蠢的螃蟹捏空气的动作。
And she said, "Papa doesn't see!" And I thought, that's what I've been saying!
她说：“爸爸没看见！”我想，这就是我一直在说的！
And we said "Yes, Tess.
我们说：“是的，苔丝。
Papa doesn't see." And then she had to check.
爸爸看不见。”然后她必须检查一下。
"Mummy sees." And we said, "Yes, Mummy sees."
“妈咪看到了。”我们说：“是的，妈妈看到了。”
And she said, "Tess sees?" And we said, "Yes, you see."
她说：“苔丝看到了吗？”我们说：“是的，你看。”
And one week later, we were sitting in the living room, and she was watching Sesame Street or something.
一周后，我们坐在客厅里，她正在看《芝麻街》之类的节目。
And she said, "Papa, who's that?" And I said, "Ah, Papa doesn't see."
她说：“爸爸，那是谁？”我说：“啊，爸爸没看见。”
And so she grabbed my hand and she put it on the screen, and she drew it over whatever she was looking at.
于是她抓住我的手，把它放在屏幕上，然后把它画在她正在看的任何东西上。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Ryan Knighton.
瑞恩·奈顿。
He's the author of the books C'mon Papa and Cockeyed.
他是《C'mon Papa》和《Cockeyed》两本书的作者。
This, by the way, is the band OK Go, playing a song on hand bells with the audience.
顺便说一句，这是 OK Go 乐队，正在与观众一起演奏一首手铃歌曲。
OK, back to the live show.
好啦，回到直播。
Act Two: Groundhog Dayne.
第二幕：土拨鼠戴恩。
I had the experience a couple years ago that a friend of mine became roommates with Bobby Kennedy's daughter, one of his daughters.
几年前，我有过一次经历，我的一个朋友和鲍比·肯尼迪的女儿（他的女儿之一）成为了室友。
And she's like, do you want to meet her?
她说，你想见见她吗？
Do you want to meet her?
你想见见她吗？
She's really nice.
她真的很好。
I was like, we're not supposed to meet the Kennedys!
我当时想，我们不应该见到肯尼迪家族！
Like the Kennedys, that is too famous for us to meet.
就像肯尼迪家族一样，他们太出名了，我们无法见面。
Like that's too famous for a normal person to meet.
这对于普通人来说太出名了。
Do you know what I mean?
你知道我的意思吗？
The super famous are over there, and we are over here in our world.
超级名人就在那里，而我们就在我们的世界里。
And we're not supposed to run into Angelina Jolie at the CVS, you know?
我们不应该在 CVS 遇到安吉丽娜·朱莉，你知道吗？
But sometimes the iconic, the famous, the stars that we remember from when we were younger, they leave their magical, invisible world and actually tread in our world.
但有时，我们年轻时记忆中的偶像、名人、明星，他们会离开他们神奇的、看不见的世界，真正踏入我们的世界。
And this was witnessed recently by comedian Tig Notaro.
喜剧演员蒂格·诺塔罗最近目睹了这一点。
Welcome her.
欢迎她。
So I live in Los Angeles.
所以我住在洛杉矶。
And I went to this party with my friend Pam.
我和我的朋友帕姆一起去参加了这个聚会。
And we were going to leave the party and she said to me, "Do you know who that was standing by the door?"
我们正准备离开聚会，她对我说：“你知道站在门口的是谁吗？”
I said no. She said, "that was Taylor Dayne."
我说不。她说：“那是泰勒·戴恩。”
Do you know who Taylor Dayne is?
你知道泰勒·戴恩是谁吗？
No?
不？
She was a pop singer in the late '80s, early '90s.
她是80年代末90年代初的流行歌手。
She sang "Love Will Lead You Back." She sang "Tell It to My Heart."
她演唱了《爱会带你回来》。她演唱了《告诉我的心》。
Anyway, I love Taylor Dayne.
不管怎样，我爱泰勒·戴恩。
And not ironically.
这并不讽刺。
I love Taylor Dayne.
我爱泰勒·戴恩。
So I went back into the party, and I went up to her and I said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you.
于是我回到聚会中，走到她跟前说：“对不起，很抱歉打扰你。
But I just have to tell you, I love your voice."
但我只想告诉你，我喜欢你的声音。”
And she just turned and said, "Yeah, I don't do that anymore."
她只是转身说：“是的，我不再这样做了。”
And I looked over and this other friend of mine was doubled over laughing at me.
我回头一看，我的另一个朋友正弯着腰嘲笑我。
She was like, "Yeah, you just got dissed by Taylor Dayne." Didn't feel great.
她说，“是的，你刚刚被泰勒·戴恩鄙视了。”感觉不太好。
So I left the party.
于是我离开了聚会。
Then like nine months passed.
然后九个月过去了。
And I happened to be out to eat with that same friend of mine, Pam.
我碰巧和我的同一个朋友帕姆一起出去吃饭。
And there was a party of 10 seated right behind us.
我们后面坐着一个 10 人的聚会。
You guys are not going to believe who was sitting there.
你们不会相信谁坐在那里。
Any guesses?
有什么猜测吗？
Andy Gibb?
安迪·吉布？
Tig Notaro Just think about-- what's that?
Tig Notaro 想想看——那是什么？
Taylor Dayne.
泰勒·戴恩.
Tig Notaro That's correct.
蒂格·诺塔罗 没错。
It was Taylor Dayne.
这是泰勒·戴恩。
Pam said, "Oh my gosh, you have to say something to her."
帕姆说：“天哪，你必须对她说点什么。”
And I said, "No question." 'Cause I still love Taylor Dayne.
我说：“没问题。”因为我仍然爱泰勒·戴恩。
But I didn't know what to say to her.
但我不知道该对她说什么。
And then I realized the best thing that I could say to Taylor Dayne would be the exact same sentence that I said the first time.
然后我意识到我能对泰勒·戴恩说的最好的话就是我第一次说的那句话。
So I turned around and I interrupted her entire dinner.
于是我转身打断了她的整个晚餐。
And I said, "Excuse me, sorry to bother you.
我说：“对不起，很抱歉打扰你。
But I just have to tell you, I love your voice."
但我只想告诉你，我喜欢你的声音。”
And I said, "Yes.
我说：“是的。
I was sitting here with my friend.
我和我的朋友坐在这里。
I heard someone talking behind me, and I said, I need to turn around a compliment this person on their speaking voice."
我听到有人在我身后说话，我说，我需要转而称赞这个人说话的声音。”
And what I didn't realize at the time was that Taylor Dayne was pursuing an acting career, which I guess is why she was no longer accepting compliments on her singing voice.
当时我没有意识到泰勒·戴恩正在追求演艺事业，我想这就是为什么她不再接受对她歌声的赞美。
Then like a year passed.
然后好像一年过去了。
And at this point, I've told all of my friends about my run-ins with Taylor Dayne, and how she's the easiest person in the world to run into.
至此，我已经告诉我所有的朋友我与泰勒·戴恩的争执，以及她是世界上最容易遇到的人。
Like I'm not even convinced that she's not here tonight.
就好像我什至不相信她今晚不在这儿一样。
So I was at my writing partner Kyle's house, and my phone rang and it was Sarah Silverman.
当时我在我的写作伙伴凯尔家里，我的电话响了，是莎拉·西尔弗曼打来的。
And at the time, Sarah was dating Jimmy Kimmel.
当时，莎拉正在和吉米·坎摩尔约会。
And Sarah called and said, "Guess who's promoting a new CD on Jimmy's show tomorrow night?" You guys will not believe who it was.
莎拉打来电话说：“猜猜明天晚上谁会在吉米的节目中宣传一张新 CD？”你们不会相信那是谁。
Taylor Dayne!
泰勒·戴恩！
Tig Notaro Yes, it was Taylor Dayne.
蒂格·诺塔罗 是的，这是泰勒·戴恩。
You're good with patterns.
你很擅长设计图案。
Sarah said, "I want you to come down to Jimmy's show tomorrow night.
莎拉说：“我希望你明天晚上能来观看吉米的演出。
And I want you to say those exact same words that you said the other times."
我希望你能说出你之前说过的那些话。”
And I said, "No question." But I didn't end up having to go to Jimmy's show the next night, because that same day that Sarah called me at Kyle's house, Kyle and I took a lunch break.
我说：“没问题。”但第二天晚上我并没有去吉米的演出，因为就在莎拉打电话到凯尔家的那天，凯尔和我午休了。
We ordered lunch to be picked up.
我们点了午餐来取。
We walked across the street to the strip mall where the restaurant was.
我们穿过马路来到了餐厅所在的购物中心。
Kyle was walking in front of me.
凯尔走在我前面。
I was walking behind him.
我走在他身后。
We walked up to the restaurant, he opened the door, he looked at this table, then he looked back at me, then he looked back at the table.
我们走到餐厅，他打开门，他看了看这张桌子，然后他又看了看我，然后又看了看桌子。
And I was like, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, of course she's here."
我当时想，“哦，是的，是的，是的，她当然在这里。”
And Kyle and I walked over to the counter where our food was waiting for us, and Kyle was just pacing back and forth, about to have a stroke.
凯尔和我走到柜台前，我们的食物正在等着我们，凯尔只是来回踱步，快要中风了。
And I was like, "What is your problem?"
我当时想，“你有什么问题吗？”
And he said, "Nothing, I'm just really uncomfortable right now."
他说：“没什么，我只是现在真的不舒服。”
And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because I know it's about to happen."
我说：“为什么？”他说：“因为我知道这即将发生。”
And I said, "Yeah, and I can't wait to do it." I said, "This has nothing to do with you." I said, "This is between me and Taylor Dayne." I said, "but what I do need you to do when I go up and interrupt her lunch, I want you to take my cellphone, and just point it in the general vicinity and videotape me talking to Taylor Dayne.
我说：“是的，我迫不及待地想这么做。”我说：“这与你无关。”我说：“这是我和泰勒·戴恩之间的事。”我说：“但是当我上去打断她的午餐时，我需要你做的就是拿走我的手机，把它指向附近的地方，录下我和泰勒·戴恩的谈话。
Just so I finally have proof."
这样我终于有证据了。”
And Kyle said, "OK." So I walked up to Taylor Dayne's table and I said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you.
凯尔说：“好吧。”于是我走到泰勒·戴恩的桌子旁，说道：“对不起，很抱歉打扰您。
But I just have to tell you, I love your voice."
但我只想告诉你，我喜欢你的声音。”
And she said, "Thank you." And I was like, oh, that was weird.
她说：“谢谢你。”我当时想，哦，这很奇怪。
But the best part was when Kyle and I went back and looked at that video footage, you didn't hear me talking to Taylor Dayne.
但最好的部分是当凯尔和我回去看那个视频片段时，你没有听到我和泰勒·戴恩说话。
You just heard Kyle in an imaginary conversation going, "Oh hey.
你刚刚在一次想象中的对话中听到凯尔说：“哦嘿。
Hey man, what's going on?
嘿伙计，发生什么事了？
I'm having lunch at the Chicken Cafe, at the Pizza Cal, at the California Chicken Kitchen Pizza Kitchen Cafe."
我正在 Chicken Cafe、Pizza Cal、California Chicken Kitchen Pizza Kitchen Cafe 吃午餐。”
So the person that Kyle made up in that conversation was the world's most difficult human being that will not let the easy stuff slide.
所以凯尔在那次谈话中扮演的人是世界上最难相处的人，他不会让简单的事情溜走。
The person on the other end of that call is going, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.
电话另一端的人会说：“哇，哇，哇。
Back up, dude.
回来吧，伙计。
Where are you having lunch?
你在哪里吃午饭？
At the Chicken What Cafe?
在鸡什么咖啡馆？
No man, I've never heard of that place.
不，我从来没有听说过那个地方。
This conversation is going no further until you make it clear to me where exactly you're having lunch right now."
在你向我明确说明你现在到底在哪里吃午饭之前，这场谈话就不会再继续了。”
And I feel confident that I'm the reason that Taylor Dayne ended up putting out another record.
我相信我是泰勒·戴恩最终推出另一张唱片的原因。
'Cause you know she called her manager and was like, "My fans miss me.
因为你知道她打电话给她的经理说：“我的粉丝想念我。
They love me.
他们爱我。
I mean, sure they're a a bunch of he/she-looking robots."
我的意思是，他们肯定是一群长得像他/她的机器人。”
"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you.
“对不起，很抱歉打扰您。
But I just have to tell you, I love your voice.
但我只想告诉你，我喜欢你的声音。
Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you.
对不起，很抱歉打扰您。
But I just have to tell you, I love your-- Excuse me."
但我只想告诉你，我爱你——对不起。”
Just as a side note, I left out other times that I ran into Taylor Dayne.
作为旁注，我省略了其他时候我遇到泰勒·戴恩的事情。
Anyway, thank you.
不管怎样，谢谢你。
Tig Notaro!
蒂格·诺塔罗！
Tig Notaro!
蒂格·诺塔罗！
Her website, tignation.com.
她的网站 tination.com。
Her podcast, Professor Blastoff.
她的播客，Blastoff 教授。
Her newest CD, Good One.
她的最新CD《Good One》。
And now ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Taylor Dayne.
现在，女士们、先生们，请欢迎泰勒·戴恩。
Oh yeah.
哦，是的。
Defiance!
蔑视！
[MUSIC--"I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU" BY TAYLOR DAYNE]
[音乐——泰勒·戴恩的《我永远爱你》]
OK, this is me live in the studio.
好吧，这是我在工作室的现场。
I should probably describe what is happening here.
我也许应该描述一下这里发生的事情。
Taylor Dayne, in a sequined mini-dress, is singing to Tig.
泰勒·戴恩 (Taylor Dayne) 穿着亮片迷你裙，正在给蒂格唱歌。
Tig is sitting on this stool onstage, her arms are crossed, she's looking sort of skeptical.
蒂格坐在舞台上的这张凳子上，双臂交叉，看上去有些怀疑。
And Taylor's trying to win her over.
泰勒正试图赢得她的支持。
You know the words.
你知道这些话。
I see you in diners.
我在餐馆里看到你。
In coffee beans.
在咖啡豆中。
My speaking voice.
我说话的声音。
So it's around here in the song that Taylor does start to win Tig over.
所以，正是在这首歌中，泰勒开始赢得蒂格的青睐。
She's with me now.
她现在和我在一起。
Show 'em what you got, Tig.
向他们展示你所拥有的，蒂格。
Let's go.
我们走吧。
Give it to 'em good.
给他们好。
Ira Glass They're laughing 'cause she busts out vintage Michael Jackson moves.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 他们在笑，因为她表演了迈克尔·杰克逊的经典动作。
You like that singing voice?
你喜欢那个歌声吗？
Tig Notaro I love it.
蒂格·诺塔罗我喜欢它。
Taylor!
泰勒！
I love your voice.
我喜欢你的声音。
Ira Glass Taylor Dayne!
艾拉·格拉斯·泰勒·戴恩！
Coming up, David Rakoff's seven step process for grating cheese, David Sedaris, and other highlights from the show that we did on stage and beamed into movie theaters last week.
接下来是大卫·拉科夫 (David Rakoff) 的奶酪磨碎七步法、大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 以及我们上周在舞台上表演并在电影院放映的节目中的其他亮点。
In a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today on our show, we're bringing you stories from the episode that we did on stage in New York at the Skirball Center for the Performing Arts last week, and beamed into movie theaters all over North America.
今天，在我们的节目中，我们将为您带来我们上周在纽约斯基博尔表演艺术中心舞台上表演并在北美各地电影院播放的剧集中的故事。
As I said earlier, about half this show is just way too visual to ever put on the radio.
正如我之前所说，这个节目大约一半的内容太过视觉化，无法在广播中播放。
It had dance and animation and all kinds of stuff.
它有舞蹈、动画和各种各样的东西。
But half was a regular show like we always do.
但一半是像我们往常一样的常规节目。
The theme was "The Invisible Made Visible."
主题是“看不见的东西变得可见”。
One of the things that we have put up online that you can actually see right now for free, is a short film made by Mike Birbiglia for this show.
我们在网上发布的内容之一是迈克·比尔比利亚 (Mike Birbiglia) 为该节目制作的短片，您现在实际上可以免费观看。
It co-stars Terry Gross from NPR's Fresh Air, and it totally got huge laughs, totally killed in theaters.
该片由 NPR 节目《Fresh Air》的特里·格罗斯 (Terry Gross) 联合主演，引起了巨大的笑声，在影院里大放异彩。
It is about what happens that you do not see when you listen to Fresh Air.
这是关于当你听《新鲜空气》时你看不到的事情。
You can find that on YouTube, just search there.
您可以在 YouTube 上找到该内容，只需在那里搜索即可。
Or go to our website, thisamericanlife.org, for the link.
或者访问我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org 获取链接。
We have arrived at Act Three of our program.
我们已经到了我们计划的第三幕了。
Act Three: Stiff as a board, light as a feather.
第三幕：硬如木板，轻如羽毛。
In our bodies, blood moves, cells appear and cells die off, proteins form and are consumed, all invisibly to us.
在我们的体内，血液流动、细胞出现和死亡、蛋白质形成和消耗，所有这些对我们来说都是看不见的。
Until the moment that something goes wrong.
直到出现问题的那一刻。
And then we have no choice but to see the effects.
然后我们别无选择，只能看看效果。
The next story, from our live show, is from David Rakoff.
我们现场表演的下一个故事来自大卫·拉科夫 (David Rakoff)。
It hardly merits the term dream, it's such a throwaway moment.
它几乎不值得用“梦想”这个词来形容，这只是一个一次性的时刻。
But I've had it three times now.
但我现在已经经历过三次了。
The dream, or dreamlet, goes like this.
梦，或者说小梦，是这样的。
I say to an unidentified companion, "Hey, watch this."
我对一位身份不明的同伴说：“嘿，看这个。”
It's the punchline to that old joke, "what are an idiot's last words?" Except in my case, it is already too late.
这是那个老笑话的妙语：“白痴的遗言是什么？”除了我的情况外，已经太晚了。
The idiot has already acted upon his idiot brag, the shallow part of the quarry has been dived into, the electric fence down by the rail yards unsuccessfully scaled, and my Trans Am has already failed to make it around Dead Man's Curve or down Killers Hill or off of, I don't know, Prom Night Suicide Cliff.
这个白痴已经兑现了他的白痴吹嘘，采石场的浅水部分已经被潜入，铁路场边的电围栏未能成功翻越，而我的 Trans Am 已经无法绕过死人曲线或下杀手山或离开，我不知道，舞会之夜自杀悬崖。
I had surgery last December-- my fourth in as many years-- to remove a tenacious and nasty tumor behind my left collarbone.
去年 12 月，我接受了手术——这是我多年来的第四次手术——切除了左锁骨后面顽固而令人讨厌的肿瘤。
I've also had radiation and about a year and a half's worth of chemo and counting.
我还接受了放射治疗以及大约一年半的化疗和计数。
This last operation severed the nerves of my left arm, which relieved me of a great deal of pain.
最后一次手术切断了我左臂的神经，使我减轻了很大的痛苦。
I'd spent three years prior to that popping enough Oxycontin to satisfy every man, woman, and child in Wasilla.
在那之前的三年里，我服用了足够的奥施康定，以满足瓦西拉的每个男人、女人和孩子的需求。
But the surgery also left me with what's known as a flail limb.
但手术也给我留下了所谓的连枷肢体。
It is attached, but aside from being able to shrug Talmudically, I can neither move nor feel my left arm.
它已连接，但除了能够以塔木德方式耸肩之外，我既不能移动也不能感觉到我的左臂。
It now hangs from my side heavy and insensate as a bag of oranges.
现在它像一袋橘子一样沉重而麻木地挂在我身边。
But this is a dream after all.
但这毕竟是一个梦。
So "hey, watch this," I say.
所以“嘿，看这个，”我说。
And up goes the left arm.
左臂向上。
The resurrection of the dead limb feels both utterly logical and completely magical.
死肢的复活感觉既完全合乎逻辑又完全神奇。
But it is precisely that magical feeling that lets me know immediately that I have moved in error, and the jig, as it always is, is soon to be up.
但正是这种神奇的感觉让我立刻知道自己走错了，而吉格一如往常，很快就要上场了。
I either literally pinch myself or snap my fingers in my ears trying to establish some reality.
我要么掐自己一下，要么用手指在耳朵里打响指，试图建立一些现实。
Or I ask someone, "is this real?" But I already know.
或者我问某人：“这是真的吗？”但我已经知道了。
There are some questions in life, the very speaking of which are their own undoing.
生活中存在一些问题，这些问题本身就是毁灭性的。
"Am I fired?
“我被解雇了吗？
Is this a date?
这是约会吗？
Are you breaking up with me?" "Yes.
你要和我分手吗？” “是的。
No. Yes."
不，是的。”
The voice, my voice, that is asking "is this real" is the sound that is waking me up to the world where-- alas-- the dream's a total cliche.
这个声音，我的声音，在问“这是真的吗”，它唤醒了我，让我意识到这个世界——唉——梦完全是陈词滥调。
Anyone with one working limb would dream it, which frankly, yawn.
任何拥有一只肢体的人都会梦见它，坦率地说，它会打哈欠。
The one difference I might point to is how I move in the dream.
我可能会指出的一个区别是我在梦中的移动方式。
The limb floats up like a table at a seance.
肢体像降神会上的桌子一样漂浮起来。
I am one of those empty windsock men outside of used car lots who suddenly billows up into three dimensional life.
我是二手车停车场外那些空荡荡的风向袋人之一，突然进入三维生活。
The arm rises and there at the top of my gesture, my fingers frill like a sea anemone caught by an unseen current.
手臂抬起，在我的手势达到最高点时，我的手指像被看不见的水流卷入的海葵一样褶皱。
There is no functionality to it.
它没有任何功能。
I am not reaching for something, pulling the pin from a fire extinguisher, or hailing a cab.
我不会伸手去拿东西，拔掉灭火器的销子，或者叫一辆出租车。
Mine is an extremely graceful and, I'll just say it, faggy gesture.
我的姿势非常优雅，而且，我只能说，是一种基佬的姿势。
Unmistakably, a gesture from ballet class, a gesture of someone who danced.
毫无疑问，这是芭蕾舞课上的一个动作，一个跳舞的人的动作。
Which is very different from having been a dancer.
这与成为一名舞者有很大不同。
I danced a lot, all through my childhood bedroom.
我在童年的卧室里经常跳舞。
It's an incredibly generic trait for a certain type of boy.
对于某种类型的男孩来说，这是一个令人难以置信的普遍特征。
Like a straight boy being obsessed with baseball, except it's better.
就像一个异性恋男孩痴迷于棒球，只不过它更好。
And after that, I danced fairly serious in university.
之后我在大学里就开始认真跳舞了。
But I was never really that great.
但我从来没有那么伟大。
And it's close to three decades ago now.
现在已经是接近三十年前的事了。
I took classes across the street at the women's college, not the most rigorous of places.
我在街对面的女子学院上课，那不是最严格的地方。
And as a boy, one of at most any three males in any of the classes, the standards were even laxer.
作为一个男孩，任何班级中最多三名男性之一，标准甚至更宽松。
Any illusions I might have had about my scant abilities were blown to smithereens by the occasional class I took at a proper dance studio down on 55th Street in the real world, where actual New York City dancers came.
我对自己能力不足的任何幻想都被我在现实世界第 55 街的一家正规舞蹈工作室偶尔上的课击碎了，那里有真正的纽约市舞者。
It was an exercise in humiliation and trying to make myself as invisible as possible.
这是一种羞辱，试图让自己尽可能地被忽视。
The only saving grace, indeed, the only reason I really went at all, were the 20 minutes in the men's changing room before and after.
事实上，唯一的可取之处，也是我真正去的唯一原因，是前后在男更衣室待了 20 分钟。
There's almost no way to explain it to a younger person, but you cannot imagine the rare thrill it was to see beautiful naked people in those pre-internet days of the early 1980s.
几乎没有办法向年轻人解释这一点，但你无法想象在 20 世纪 80 年代初互联网出现之前看到美丽裸体的人是多么罕见的兴奋。
I would walk slowly to the subway undone, clinging to the sides of buildings like someone who'd just come from the eye doctor.
我会慢慢地走到地铁站，像刚从眼科医生那里出来的人一样，紧贴着建筑物的侧面。
If I retained anything from dancing, it's a physical precision that certainly helps in my new daily one-armed tasks.
如果说我从跳舞中保留了什么的话，那就是身体上的精确度，这无疑有助于我完成新的日常单臂任务。
They're the same as my old two-armed chores.
它们和我以前用两只手做的家务是一样的。
They're not epic or horrifying.
它们既不史诗也不恐怖。
Some of them don't even take much longer, but they're all to one degree or another, more annoying than they used to be, requiring planning, strategy, and a certain enhanced gracefulness.
其中一些甚至不需要更长的时间，但它们都在某种程度上比以前更烦人，需要计划、策略和某种增强的优雅。
Oral hygiene.
口腔卫生。
Hold the handle of the toothbrush between your teeth the way FDR or Burgess Meredith playing The Penguin bit down on their cigarette holders.
用牙齿咬住牙刷柄，就像扮演企鹅人的罗斯福或伯吉斯·梅雷迪思咬住烟嘴一样。
Put the toothpaste on the brush, recap the tube, put it away.
将牙膏放在刷子上，重新盖上牙膏管，然后将其收起。
You really have to keep things tidy, because if they pile up, you'll just be in the soup.
你真的必须保持东西整洁，因为如果它们堆积起来，你就会陷入困境。
Then reverse the brush and put the bristles in your mouth, proceed.
然后反转刷子并将刷毛放入嘴中，继续。
Washing your right arm.
清洗右臂。
Soap up your right thigh in the shower, put your foot up on the edge of the tub, and then move your arm over your soapy lower limb back and forth like an old-timey barbershop razor strop.
在淋浴时给你的右大腿涂上肥皂，把你的脚放在浴缸的边缘，然后将你的手臂在涂有肥皂的下肢上来回移动，就像老式理发店的剃须刀一样。
Grating cheese.
磨碎奶酪。
Get a pot with a looped handle, the heavier the better.
买一个有环柄的锅，越重越好。
This will anchor the bowl that you want the cheese to go into.
这将固定您想要放入奶酪的碗。
Put the bowl into the pot.
将碗放入锅中。
Now take a wooden spoon and feed it through the handle of the grater and the loop of the pot, and then tuck the end down into the waistband of your jeans.
现在拿一个木勺，将其穿过刨丝器的手柄和锅的环，然后将末端塞入牛仔裤的腰带中。
Clean underpants are a good idea.
干净的内裤是个好主意。
Jam yourself up against the kitchen counter and go to town.
把自己挤在厨房柜台上，然后进城。
Special kitchen note: always, always, always have your bum hand safely out of the way, preferably in a sling since you now have a limb that you could literally-- no joke-- cook on the stove without even knowing it.
特别的厨房注意事项：永远，永远，永远让你的屁股手安全地远离，最好是用吊带，因为你现在有一个肢体，你可以毫不夸张地（不是开玩笑）在炉子上做饭，甚至不知道它。
Which makes me feel not like a freak, exactly, but well actually, like a freak.
确切地说，这让我觉得自己不像一个怪胎，但实际上，就像一个怪胎。
At dinner with friends recently, the conversation turned to what about yourself was still in need of change?
最近和朋友吃饭的时候，话题转到了你自己还有哪些地方需要改变？
They all seem to feel that they were living half-lives.
他们似乎都觉得自己过着半衰期。
One fellow hoped that he could be more like the god Pan, unabashedly lusty and embracing experience with gusto.
一个人希望自己能像潘神一样，毫不掩饰地旺盛，并热情地拥抱经验。
Another wanted to feel less disengaged at key moments, able to feel more fully committedly human, and less like that old science fiction B movie trope: "What is this wetness on Triton 3000's face plate?" "Why, space robot, you're crying!"
另一个人希望在关键时刻感觉不那么脱节，能够感受到更充分的人性化，而不是像老式科幻 B 电影中的比喻：“Triton 3000 面板上的潮湿是什么？” “怎么了，太空机器人，你哭了！”
We were going around the table, so the natural progression of things demanded that I eventually get a turn to weigh in as well.
我们围着桌子转了一圈，所以事情的自然进展要求我最终也能参与进来。
Suppose you're out to dinner with a group of triathletes, all discussing their training regimens.
假设您和一群铁人三项运动员出去吃饭，所有人都在讨论他们的训练方案。
And you have no legs.
而且你没有腿。
They can't flat-out ignore you, and they also can't say words to the effect of, "well, we all know what your event is.
他们不能完全忽视你，也不能说这样的话：“好吧，我们都知道你的活动是什么。
Getting all that marvelous wonderful parking, you lucky thing!"
能得到这么多奇妙的停车位，你真是太幸运了！”
It was uncomfortable, and I suspect more for me than for them.
这很不舒服，我对自己的怀疑比对他们的怀疑更多。
I have no idea.
我不知道。
But thanks to my rapidly dividing cells, I no longer have that feeling-- although I remember it very well-- that if I just buckled down to the great work at hand, lived more authentically, stopped procrastinating, cut out sugar, then my best self was just there right around the corner.
但多亏了我快速分裂的细胞，我不再有那种感觉——尽管我记得很清楚——如果我全身心投入手头的伟大工作，更真实地生活，停止拖延，戒掉糖，那么我最好的自己就在眼前。
Yeah, no. I'm done with all that.
是的，不。我已经受够了这一切。
I'm done with so many things.
我已经完成了很多事情。
Like dancing.
就像跳舞一样。
I've no idea if I can do it anymore.
我不知道我是否还能再做下去。
I've been, frankly, too frightened and too embarrassed to try it, even alone in my apartment.
坦率地说，我太害怕、太尴尬而不敢尝试，即使是独自一人在我的公寓里。
There was a time however-- as recently as about a couple of years ago, when I was already one course of radiation and two surgeries into all this nonsense-- when doing this simple barre exercises while holding onto a kitchen chair achieved what they always used to do.
然而，曾经有一段时间——就在大约几年前，当时我已经接受了一次放射治疗并接受了两次手术，以应对所有这些无意义的事情——当我握住厨房的椅子做这种简单的把杆练习时，就达到了他们以前经常做的效果。
What they're supposed to do.
他们应该做什么。
As best as I can describe it, it's the gestures themselves, their repetition, their slowness.
我所能描述的最好的就是手势本身，它们的重复，它们的缓慢。
It all hollows one out.
这一切都掏空了一个人。
One becomes a reed or a pipe, and the movement and the air pass through and you become this altered, humming, dare I say, beautiful working instrument of placement and form and concentration.
一个变成了一根簧片或一根管子，运动和空气穿过，你就变成了这个改变的、嗡嗡作响的，我敢说，美丽的工作工具，放置、形式和集中。
But like I said, that's a long time ago.
但就像我说的，那是很久以前的事了。
And a version of myself that has long since ceased to exist.
还有一个早已不复存在的我自己。
Before I became such an observer-- I'm sorry.
在我成为这样的观察者之前——我很抱歉。
So at this point, David Rakoff walks away from the microphone.
此时，大卫·拉科夫（David Rakoff）离开了麦克风。
And just when it seems like he might walk off stage, like he quit, he turns, and turns again.
就在他似乎要走下舞台的时候，就像他放弃了一样，他转身，再转身。
And then raises his right knee, and then places that foot down again, and then traces a half circle on the ground with his left foot.
然后抬起右膝，再放下那只脚，然后用左脚在地上划出半圈。
And then he lunges, he arches his back, swings his right arm in an arc from low to high, all totally graceful.
然后他弓步，弓背，右臂从低到高呈弧形摆动，一切都非常优雅。
And then, he dances.
然后，他跳舞。
Look, mine is not a unique situation.
瞧，我的情况并不是个例。
Everybody loses ability-- everybody loses ability as they age.
每个人都会失去能力——随着年龄的增长，每个人都会失去能力。
If you're lucky, this happens over the course of a few decades.
如果幸运的话，这种情况会在几十年内发生。
If you're not--
如果你不是——
But the story is essentially the same.
但故事本质上是一样的。
You go along the road as time and the elements lay waste to your luggage, scattering the contents into the bushes.
你沿着路走，随着时间和自然因素的影响，你的行李被毁掉，里面的东西散落到灌木丛中。
Until there you are, standing with a battered and empty suitcase that frankly, no one wants to look at anymore.
直到你站在那里，提着一个破旧的空行李箱，坦白说，没有人愿意再看它。
It's just the way it is.
事情就是这样。
But how lovely those moments were, gone now except occasionally in dreams, when one could still turn to someone and promise them something truly worth their while, just by saying "hey, watch this."
但那些时刻是多么可爱，现在已经消失了，除了偶尔在梦中，当一个人仍然可以转向某人并向他们承诺一些真正值得的东西时，只需说“嘿，看这个”。
David Rakoff is the author of many fine books, most recently Half Empty .
大卫·拉考夫 (David Rakoff) 是许多优秀书籍的作者，最近的一本是《半空》。
This dance was choreographed by Monica Bill Barnes.
该舞蹈由莫妮卡·比尔·巴恩斯编排。
We have arrived at Act Four: Turn Around, Bright Eyes.
我们已经到了第四幕：转身，明亮的眼睛。
In his writing, David Sedaris can be kind of sharp tongued.
大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）在他的作品中可能有点尖刻。
But when you talk to him, when you meet him, he's really kind of a sweetheart.
但当你和他交谈时，当你见到他时，你会发现他真的是一个甜心。
When my sister Karen met him at a reading, I remember she said to David, she said, "You're a lot nicer than I thought you would be, based on your books." And I remember David said, "Oh, I'm not nice.
当我姐姐凯伦在一次读书会上遇见他时，我记得她对大卫说，“根据你的书，你比我想象的要好得多。”我记得大卫说：“哦，我不友善。
Just two-faced."
简直就是两面派。”
So I'm pleased to say that tonight, you're really gonna see a story.
所以我很高兴地说，今晚你真的会看到一个故事。
You're gonna see David, how he really is tonight in real life, the real guy.
今晚你会看到大卫，他在现实生活中的真实面目，一个真正的人。
And the story that he's telling is about feelings that often go unexpressed, at least unexpressed at the moment they happen.
他所讲述的故事是关于常常没有表达出来的感受，至少在它们发生的那一刻没有表达出来。
Welcome David Sedaris, please.
欢迎大卫·塞达里斯。
OK, an important fact about what the audience is seeing right here at this point in the show.
好的，关于观众此时此刻所看到的一个重要事实。
David Sedaris takes the stage in full clown makeup.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 化着小丑妆登上舞台。
Red nose, white face, bald wig.
红鼻子，白脸，秃头假发。
To those who don't travel very often, the Courtyard Marriott might seem like a decent enough hotel.
对于那些不经常旅行的人来说，万怡酒店似乎是一家足够不错的酒店。
It's clean, sure.
当然，它很干净。
And the staff is polite.
而且工作人员很有礼貌。
I wouldn't give you $0.02 for its pillows though, and the tubs are far too shallow for my taste.
不过我不会给你 0.02 美元买它的枕头，而且浴缸太浅了，不符合我的口味。
In the deserted lobby of the one I stayed at not long ago in New Hampshire, there was a coffee bar.
不久前我在新罕布什尔州住过的那家酒店空荡荡的大厅里有一家咖啡吧。
Not a Starbucks, but a place that "proudly served Starbucks" and sold it alongside breakfast cereals and prepackaged sandwiches.
不是星巴克，而是一个“以提供星巴克为荣”并将其与早餐麦片和预包装三明治一起出售的地方。
I noticed it on my way back from lunch, and just as I decided to get a cup of coffee, someone came around the corner and moved in ahead of me.
我在吃完午饭回来的路上注意到了这一点，正当我决定去喝杯咖啡时，有人从拐角处走过来，在我前面走了进来。
I'd later learn that her name was Mrs. Dunstan, a towering, doe-colored, pyramid of a woman wearing oversized glasses and a short-sleeved linen blazer.
后来我才知道她的名字叫邓斯坦夫人，身材高大，母鹿色，金字塔形，戴着超大眼镜，穿着短袖亚麻西装外套。
Beside her was a man I guessed to be her husband.
她旁边站着一个男人，我猜是她的丈夫。
And after looking at the menu board, she turned to him.
看完菜单板后，她转向他。
"A latte," she said, "now is that the thing that Barbara likes to get?
“一杯拿铁咖啡，”她说，“这就是芭芭拉喜欢喝的东西吗？
The one with whipped cream or is that called something else?"
是加了鲜奶油的还是别的什么名字？”
Oh [BEEP], I thought.
哦[哔]，我想。
"I can do a latte with whipped cream on top", the young woman behind the counter said.
“我可以做一杯拿铁，上面加奶油”，柜台后面的年轻女士说。
She was fair and wore her shoulder-length hair pushed behind her ears.
她皮肤白皙，齐肩的头发挽在耳后。
Tiny moles were scattered like buckshot across her face, which was bare but for a bit of eyeliner.
细小的痣像铅弹一样散布在她的脸上，除了画了一点眼线外，她的脸上光秃秃的。
"I can do one with flavors too."
“我也可以做一份有味道的。”
"Really?" Mrs. Dunstan said, "what sorts of flavors?"
“真的吗？”邓斯坦夫人说：“什么口味？”
In the end, she settled on caramel.
最后，她选择了焦糖。
Then her husband squinted up at the board, deciding after a good long while that he'd try one of those mocha something or others, and could he get that iced?
然后她的丈夫眯着眼睛看着黑板，过了很长一段时间后他决定尝试一下摩卡咖啡或其他饮料，他能把它加冰吗？
As I groaned into my palm, he wandered off.
当我在手掌中呻吟时，他走开了。
His wife, meanwhile, leaned her bulk against the counter and began her genial interrogation.
与此同时，他的妻子把大块头靠在柜台上，开始和蔼地审问。
"Are you from this area?" she asked.
“你是这个地区的吗？”她问道。
"No, from Vermont." "Well, that's interesting.
“不，来自佛蒙特州。” “嗯，这很有趣。
What brought you here?"
是什么风把你吹到这里来的？”
I learned that the coffee person used to work at the town's other hotel, which had recently closed for remodeling.
我了解到，那个喝咖啡的人曾经在镇上的另一家酒店工作，该酒店最近因装修而关闭。
"So after it's done, will you stay put or go back over there?" Mrs. Dunstan asked.
“那结束之后，你是留在原地还是回去？”邓斯坦夫人问道。
"Me, I have a son at the college, so that's what I'm doing.
“我，我有一个在大学读书的儿子，所以这就是我正在做的事情。
Just checking in.
刚刚登记入住。
He's my second boy, actually.
事实上，他是我的第二个男孩。
The first one went here too.
第一个也去了这里。
"He's not working in his field yet, but with unemployment as high as it is, he should be lucky to have anything at all.
“他还没有在自己的领域工作，但由于失业率如此之高，他应该很幸运能拥有任何东西。
If I've told him that once, I've told him 100 times.
如果我告诉他一次，我就告诉他一百次了。
But of course, being young, he's impatient, which is natural.
但当然，因为年轻，他缺乏耐心，这是很自然的。
Wants to set the world on fire and if it can't happen by tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM, then life's just unfair and hardly worth living.
想要点燃世界，如果明天早上 9:00 之前这件事还不能实现，那么生活就是不公平的，几乎不值得活下去。
What about you, did you go to college?"
那你呢，上大学了吗？”
After what felt like weeks, the young woman finished with the orders.
感觉过了几周的时间，这位年轻女子完成了订单。
Two cups the size of waste paper baskets were placed upon the counter.
柜台上放着两个废纸篓大小的杯子。
And then Mr. Dunstan reappeared and pointed out the plate glass window toward a cluster of grim buildings on the other side of the parking lot.
然后邓斯坦先生又出现了，他用平板玻璃窗指着停车场另一边的一排阴森的建筑。
"What are those?" he asked.
“那些是什么？”他问道。
The young woman said they used to belong to the college.
这位年轻女子说，他们曾经属于该学院。
Of course, that was before they expanded the west side of the campus.
当然，那是在他们扩建校园西侧之前。
"And when was that?" Mr. Dunstan asked.
“那是什么时候？”邓斯坦先生问道。
He was a good 10 years older than his wife, mid-70s maybe, and he wore a baseball cap with a tattered brim.
他比他的妻子大十岁，大概七十多岁了，戴着一顶帽檐破烂的棒球帽。
"I beg your pardon?" the young woman said.
“请原谅？”年轻女子说道。
"I said uh, when did they expand the west side of the campus?
“我说呃，什么时候扩建校园西侧的？
Was it recent, or did they do it a long time ago?"
是最近才做的，还是很久以前就做的？”
Who the hell cares?
谁在乎？
I wanted to shout.
我想大声喊叫。
What are you, the official historian of Who Gives a Damn College?
你是什么人，《谁赐予了一所该死的大学》的官方历史学家？
Do you not notice that there's someone in line behind you?
你没注意到你后面有人在排队吗？
Someone who's been standing here, rocking back and forth on his heel for the last 10 minutes while you and that brontosaurus run your stupid mouths about nothing?
有人一直站在这里，在过去的十分钟里用脚后跟来回摇晃，而你和那只雷龙却在胡言乱语？
I was this close to walking away, to marching off in a huff.
我几乎要走开，气呼呼地走开。
But then Mrs. Dunstan would have turned to her husband and the girl behind the counter saying, "Some people!"
但随后邓斯坦夫人就会转向她的丈夫和柜台后面的女孩说：“有些人！”
I'd gotten a similar reaction the previous morning when I'd squeezed past a couple standing side by side on the moving walkway connecting concourses A and B.
前一天早上，当我挤过一对并排站在连接 A 和 B 大厅的自动人行道上的情侣时，我也有过类似的反应。
"In a great big hurry to meet that heart attack!" the man called after me.
“急于应对心脏病发作！”那人在我身后叫道。
I wanted to remind him that this was an airport, and that some of us had a tight connection, if that was OK.
我想提醒他，这是一个机场，如果可以的话，我们中的一些人有紧密的联系。
But of course, I had no connection.
但当然，我没有任何联系。
I just couldn't bear to see him and his wife standing side by side, blocking the way of someone who might have a tight connection.
我只是不忍心看到他和他的妻子并肩站着，挡住了一个可能关系密切的人的去路。
The Dunstans' bill came to $8, which everyone agreed was a lot to pay for two cups of coffee.
邓斯坦一家的账单是 8 美元，每个人都认为对于两杯咖啡来说这个价格很高。
But they were large ones, and this was a vacation.
但它们很大，而且这是一个假期。
Sort of.
有点像。
Not like a trip to Florida, but certainly couldn't do that at the drop of a hat.
不像去佛罗里达旅行，但肯定不能一下子就做到这一点。
Especially with gas prices the way they are, and looking to go even higher.
特别是考虑到天然气价格目前的情况，并且还希望进一步上涨。
While talking, Mrs. Dunstan rummaged through her tremendous purse.
邓斯坦夫人一边说话，一边翻找她那巨大的钱包。
Her wallet was eventually located, but then it seemed that the register was locked, so the best solution was to put the coffees on her bill.
她的钱包最终被找到了，但收银机似乎被锁了，所以最好的解决办法就是把咖啡记在她的账单上。
That's how I discovered her name.
我就是这样发现她的名字的。
And her room number.
还有她的房间号。
My only question then was what time I should arrange her wake-up call for.
当时我唯一的问题是我应该在什么时间安排叫醒她。
Let's see how chatty you feel at 4:00 AM, I thought.
我想，让我们看看你在凌晨 4:00 感觉有多健谈。
Then it was all about returning the wallet to the purse and getting that all safely zipped up before picking her drink off the counter and starting in on her long goodbye.
然后就是把钱包放回钱包，安全地拉上拉链，然后从柜台上拿起她的饮料，开始漫长的告别。
When the two of them finally lumbered off toward the elevator, I approached the counter, hoping the woman behind it would roll her eyes, acknowledging that something really needed to be done about people like the Dunstans.
当他们两个最终笨手笨脚地走向电梯时，我走近柜台，希望柜台后面的女人会翻白眼，承认确实需要对像邓斯坦一家这样的人采取一些措施。
She didn't, though.
但她没有。
So I decided I would hate her as much as I had hated them.
所以我决定我会像恨他们一样恨她。
When she told me that her little stand didn't serve regular brew coffee, I hated her even more.
当她告诉我她的小摊不提供普通的现煮咖啡时，我更加讨厌她了。
"I can do you a nice cappuccino," she said.
“我可以给你一杯美味的卡布奇诺，”她说。
"Or an iced latte, maybe." This last word was delivered to my back as I stormed out the door.
“或者冰拿铁，也许吧。”当我冲出门外时，这最后一句话就传到了我的背上。
Then it was up the street and around the corner to a real coffee place.
然后就到了街上，拐角处有一家真正的咖啡馆。
The pierced and tattooed staff members scowled at my approach, and I placed my order confident that they would hate the Dunstans as much, or possibly even more, than they already hated me.
那些穿孔和纹身的工作人员对我的做法皱起了眉头，我下了订单，相信他们会像他们讨厌我一样讨厌邓斯坦一家，甚至可能更讨厌我。
David Sedaris.
大卫·塞达里斯。
He's the author, most recently, of Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: a Modest Bestiary.
他最近是《松鼠寻找花栗鼠：一本朴实的动物寓言》一书的作者。
Again, OK Go.
再次，好的，开始吧。
Well, our program was produced today by Seth Lind and myself.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由塞思·林德和我自己制作的。
Our live cinema event was directed by David Stern.
我们的现场电影活动由大卫·斯特恩执导。
Annette Jolles was the associate producer.
安妮特·乔勒斯 (Annette Jolles) 是副制片人。
The entire crew here are incredible.
这里的全体工作人员都令人难以置信。
They're like NASA scientists.
他们就像美国宇航局的科学家。
The executive producers for cinema are Robert and Julie Borchard-Young.
电影的执行制片人是罗伯特·博查德-杨和朱莉·博查德-杨。
Lenny Laxer was the technical manager.
莱尼·拉克瑟 (Lenny Laxer) 是技术经理。
Emily Condon was the associate producer for today's show.
艾米丽·康登 (Emily Condon) 是今天节目的副制片人。
Miki Meek helped produce the show.
米基·米克 (Miki Meek) 帮助制作了该节目。
Today's show was recorded live at NYU's Skirball Center for the Performing Arts.
今天的节目是在纽约大学斯基博尔表演艺术中心现场录制的。
Amy Coombs, technical director.
艾米·库姆斯，技术总监。
Jason Adams, production manager.
杰森·亚当斯，生产经理。
Claire Keane coordinated all the illustrations and animations.
克莱尔·基恩协调了所有插图和动画。
She did the poster art, just incredible.
她做了海报艺术，真是令人难以置信。
Station outreach by Sean Nesbitt, Kathy Twist, Roger Gamal and Heidi Schultz.
车站外展工作由 Sean Nesbitt、Kathy Twist、Roger Gamal 和 Heidi Schultz 负责。
Thanks to the many, many public radio stations who participated and brought people out.
感谢很多很多公共广播电台的参与并带人们出去。
Thanks to my wife Anaheed.
感谢我的妻子阿纳希德。
Our staff, the greatest radio production staff ever.
我们的员工，有史以来最伟大的广播制作人员。
Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sarah Koenig, Jonathan Menjivar, Lisa Pollak, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格、本·卡尔霍恩、莎拉·科尼格、乔纳森·门吉瓦尔、丽莎·波拉克、布莱恩·里德、罗宾·塞米恩、艾丽莎·希普和南希·厄普代克。
Our senior producer, Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help, yeah, from Matt Kielty and Elna Baker.
是的，来自马特·基尔蒂和埃尔娜·贝克的制作帮助。
Adrianne Mathiowetz runs our website.
阿德琳娜·马修韦茨 (Adrianne Mathiowetz) 负责运营我们的网站。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International, WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行，WBEZ 管理部门由我们的老板托里·马拉蒂亚 (Torey Malatia) 先生监督我们的节目。
You know, how did I end up in this job?
你知道我是怎么找到这份工作的吗？
How did it happen?
这是怎么发生的？
He came to me over and over, walked up to me in restaurants and on the street saying the same thing over and over again.
他一遍又一遍地来找我，在餐馆和街上走到我面前一遍又一遍地说着同样的话。
Excuse me, sorry to bother you.
对不起，抱歉打扰您。
But I just have to tell you, I love your voice.
但我只想告诉你，我喜欢你的声音。
You mean my speaking voice?
你是说我说话的声音吗？
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。