463: Mortal Vs. Venial - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #463 | April 27, 2012 463: Mortal Vs. Venial Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 463 集 | 2012 年 4 月 27 日 463：凡人VS。附注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
序言 Ira Glass 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这就是美国生活，由国际公共广播电台发行。
We want to thank everyone for coming out this morning.
我们要感谢今天早上大家的到来。
We're excited because it's an election time.
我们很兴奋，因为现在是选举时间。
Yeah!
是的！
Ira Glass This rally was just last month-- black elected officials from Chicago's West Side, two days before the primary election there.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 这次集会是在上个月举行的——来自芝加哥西区的黑人民选官员，距离那里的初选还有两天。
And what the rally was about, and what they were asking God to bless, was kind of unusual.
这次集会的内容以及他们祈求上帝保佑的事情有点不寻常。
We pray now, Master, with this election time, that you bring clarity and understanding, and you bring victory back home to the ones that stand--
师父，我们现在祈祷，在这个选举时刻，祈求您带来清晰和理解，并将胜利带回那些坚守的人手中——
Here's the victory that Reverend Randall is asking God to step in and help with.
这是兰德尔牧师请求上帝介入并帮助的胜利。
He wants God to help reelect Derrick Smith to the Illinois State House for the 10th district.
他希望上帝帮助德里克·史密斯（Derrick Smith）再次当选伊利诺伊州众议院第十选区议员。
Smith had been arrested just five days before this for accepting a $7,000 bribe.
就在五天前，史密斯因收受 7,000 美元贿赂而被捕。
He'd originally asked for $5,000, and then he upped it to 7, and specified that it had to be in cash, according to an FBI informant.
据联邦调查局线人透露，他最初要求支付 5,000 美元，后来将其提高到 7 美元，并指定必须是现金。
Allegedly Smith was getting the money as payment for writing a letter of support for a daycare center to get a government grant.
据称，史密斯之所以获得这笔钱，是因为他为日托中心写了一封支持信，以获得政府补助。
And this is the kind of case that when you hear the evidence, it doesn't seem to leave a lot of room for doubt.
在这种情况下，当你听到证据时，似乎并没有留下太多的怀疑空间。
The exchange of money was recorded by the FBI.
联邦调查局记录了货币兑换情况。
I read the 23-page FBI account of the case.
我读了联邦调查局关于此案的 23 页记录。
Here's how it went down.
事情是这样的。
The informant counts out the money-- "One, two, three, four, five-- damn, stuck together-- six, seven.
线人数出钱——“一、二、三、四、五——该死的，粘在一起——六、七。
Talk to you later." Smith says, "You don't want me to give you yours now?
稍后再跟你说。”史密斯说：“你现在不想让我把你的东西给你吗？
I'm going to get you your two, man." He had promised the informant $2,000-- that's on tape, also-- for bringing in the bribe.
我去给你拿两个，伙计。”他答应向线人支付 2,000 美元——这也有录音——用于贿赂。
And, you may ask, how do certain Democratic officials view all of that evidence?
而且，您可能会问，某些民主党官员如何看待所有这些证据？
Derrick Smith has not been proven guilty.
德里克·史密斯尚未被证明有罪。
He is continuing to run for office.
他正在继续竞选公职。
He's continuing--
他还在继续——
This is Cook County Commissioner Robert Steele.
我是库克县专员罗伯特·斯蒂尔。
So let's support Derrick until any time he is taken into the court system and found with anything that happened at that time.
因此，让我们支持德里克，直到他被带入法庭系统并发现当时发生的任何事情。
Derrick is an innocent candidate that's running for office.
德里克是一位无辜的竞选公职的候选人。
We're supporting an innocent candidate who's running for office.
我们支持一位正在竞选公职的无辜候选人。
Let's support Derrick Smith!
让我们支持德里克史密斯！
Let's support Derrick Smith!
让我们支持德里克史密斯！
This is the official line of the day from the Democrats, and they came out in force-- five state reps, two state senators, four aldermen, various commissioners, the Illinois Secretary of State-- 20 of them are listed on the press release announcing this rally, headlined by somebody who is generally seen as a stand-up guy, well-liked, long-serving-- US Congressman Danny Davis.
这是民主党当天的官方口号，他们集体出动——五名州代表、两名州参议员、四名市议员、多名委员、伊利诺伊州国务卿——其中 20 人被列在宣布这次集会的新闻稿中，领头人物是一位通常被视为正直的人、深受喜爱、长期任职的美国国会议员丹尼·戴维斯。
We know that our colleague is charged with criminal activity.
我们知道我们的同事被指控犯有犯罪活动。
But we also know that a charge is not a conviction.
但我们也知道，指控并不等于定罪。
That's right.
这是正确的。
Danny Davis But we also know that there are circumstances that concerns us.
丹尼·戴维斯 但我们也知道有些情况令我们担忧。
And right here is where you get to the reason for the show of force by Democrats that day.
这就是民主党当天展示武力的原因。
The other candidate in this Democratic primary was Tom Swiss, the former director of the Cook County Republican Party.
这次民主党初选的另一位候选人是库克县共和党前主任汤姆·斯威斯(Tom Swiss)。
He entered the Democratic Party in the primary, according to an email that became public, because he thought it was going to be easy to win, calling the residents of the district, quote, "low-information voters." Danny Davis said that running a Republican in a Democratic primary was just subterfuge.
根据一封公开的电子邮件，他在初选时加入了民主党，因为他认为很容易获胜，并称该地区的居民为“信息匮乏的选民”。丹尼·戴维斯表示，让共和党人参加民主党初选只是一个诡计。
And we want to make sure that we don't elect a wolf in sheep's clothing.
我们要确保我们不会选出披着羊皮的狼。
That's right, that's right, that's right!
没错，没错，没错！
That we don't elect a wolf in sheep's clothing.
我们不会选出披着羊皮的狼。
Should, ultimately, the judicial process determine that Representative Smith cannot serve, then there would be the opportunity to make sure that a Democrat--
如果最终司法程序确定史密斯众议员不能任职，那么将有机会确保民主党——
That's right.
没错。
Danny Davis That a Democrat--
丹尼·戴维斯 (Danny Davis) 是一名民主党人——
Right!
对了！
Say that again!
再说一遍！
Danny Davis Is elected to that position.
丹尼·戴维斯当选担任该职位。
And that's why we're here this morning to support Derrick Smith, State Representative.
这就是为什么我们今天早上在这里支持州众议员德里克·史密斯。
Derrick!
德里克！
No defeat!
没有失败！
No defeat!
没有失败！
Hold the seat!
稳住座位！
No defeat!
没有失败！
Hold the seat!
稳住座位！
No defeat!
没有失败！
I bring all this up because this week on our radio show, we have a bunch of stories in which people did something bad.
我之所以提出这一切，是因为本周在我们的广播节目中，我们有很多人们做了坏事的故事。
Like, you know, endorsing somebody who just accepted a bribe on tape, just days before.
就像，你知道的，为几天前刚刚收受贿赂的人背书。
And they knew it was bad.
他们知道这很糟糕。
But it wasn't clear just how bad.
但目前尚不清楚到底有多糟糕。
After all, like Danny Davis, they had their reasons.
毕竟，就像丹尼·戴维斯一样，他们有自己的理由。
And in putting together today's show, we got talking amongst ourselves about how bad actually counts as bad.
在整理今天的节目时，我们互相讨论了糟糕的事情到底有多糟糕。
Basically, we were talking about levels of sin, and how to rate the different levels of sin.
基本上，我们讨论的是罪的级别，以及如何评价不同级别的罪。
And you know, once you get into that game, you really need to turn to a professional.
你知道，一旦你进入这个游戏，你真的需要求助于专业人士。
I'm a Franciscan priest.
我是方济会牧师。
Like a missionary priest.
就像传教士一样。
Father Augustino Torres.
奥古斯丁·托雷斯神父。
Father Torres works with low-income people, especially young people, in Paterson, New Jersey, and very generously agreed to run us through the Catholic notions of serious and less serious sins, or-- the old Catholic terms for it-- mortal versus venial sins.
托雷斯神父在新泽西州帕特森与低收入人群，特别是年轻人一起工作，他非常慷慨地同意向我们介绍天主教关于严重和较轻罪行的概念，或者——天主教的古老术语——大罪与小罪。
A venial sin-- "venial" comes from the Latin word "venia," which means, basically, to pardon.
小罪——“venial”源自拉丁语“venia”，基本上意味着赦免。
Pardonable.
情有可原。
Something small.
一些小东西。
A mortal sin is something serious.
死罪是很严重的事情。
The word "mortal" means something that kills.
“凡人”这个词的意思是杀人的东西。
The three criteria for a mortal sin is, it's serious, I know it's serious, and with all my faculties, I do it anyway.
致命罪的三个标准是，它很严重，我知道它很严重，但无论如何我都会这么做。
It's serious, I know it's serious, and I do it anyway.
这很严重，我知道这很严重，但我还是这么做了。
Mortal sins, unrepented for, send you to hell when you die.
死前犯下的大罪如果不悔改，就会下地狱。
Getting right with God again to avoid that could take a long time and real personal change.
再次与神和好以避免这种情况可能需要很长时间和真正的个人改变。
Venial sins are so small that they're forgiven simply if you show up for mass.
小罪是如此之小，只要你参加弥撒，它们就会被宽恕。
So under this scheme, a white lie-- obviously a venial sin.
因此，在这个计划下，这是一个善意的谎言——显然是一种轻微的罪过。
Murder or adultery, mortal sins.
谋杀或通奸，都是大罪。
The Ten Commandments-- often, but not necessarily, mortal sins.
十诫——通常但不一定是死罪。
Like, for example, the commandment on taking the Lord's name in vain.
例如，禁止妄称主名的诫命。
So John Doe is commuting back to New Jersey.
所以约翰·多伊正在返回新泽西州。
He crosses two bridges, the Triborough and the George Washington Bridge, is in two hours of traffic, and then he gets home, finally, after driving home, and his son runs over him with his bike, on his foot, and he uses the Lord's name in vain.
他穿过三区桥和乔治·华盛顿大桥两座桥，交通需要两个小时，然后他开车回家后终于回到家，他的儿子骑着自行车从他身上碾过，他徒劳地使用主的名字。
Is that a mortal sin?
这是死罪吗？
It's grave matter.
这是一件很严重的事情。
It's serious.
情况很严重。
But if you were to bring me that situation, I would say, probably not.
但如果你给我带来这种情况，我会说，可能不会。
What you're saying is that context counts.
你说的是上下文很重要。
It does, it does count.
确实如此，确实很重要。
But it doesn't necessarily change what you did.
但这并不一定会改变你所做的事情。
That's also true of intention.
意图也是如此。
Your intentions count.
你的意图很重要。
So when Father Torres hears confession, which he does for eight hours a week or more, he asks people what happened, what their intentions were, what the circumstances were, and figures out from that the seriousness of the sin.
因此，当托雷斯神父每周进行八个小时或更长时间的忏悔时，他会询问人们发生了什么事，他们的意图是什么，当时的情况是什么，并从中找出罪孽的严重性。
We sometimes claim ignorance, and that's a place where people say, well, I didn't know.
我们有时会声称自己无知，而人们会说，好吧，我不知道。
Like, well, you did.
就像，好吧，你做到了。
If you had an inkling that it was wrong, then you knew.
如果你有预感这是错误的，那么你就知道了。
And we have something called a conscience, and a principle that we use-- you never go against an uncertain conscience.
我们有一种叫做良心的东西，以及我们使用的一个原则——你永远不会违背不确定的良心。
So like, if you have a doubt, if this may not be totally right, well, that's your conscience saying, don't do it.
所以，如果你有疑问，如果这可能不完全正确，那么，你的良心会告诉你，不要这样做。
Hm.
嗯。
That's interesting.
那很有意思。
I've never heard that.
我从来没有听说过。
That's the bread and butter, right there.
这就是面包和黄油，就在那里。
No, no. But that's a concept that I use often.
不，不。但这是我经常使用的一个概念。
And this conversation that we're having, I've had 1,000 times.
我们正在进行的这种对话，我已经进行过 1000 次了。
So, rule of thumb.
所以，经验法则。
If you find yourself wondering if something you did was right or wrong-- probably wrong.
如果你发现自己想知道你所做的事情是对还是错——很可能是错的。
Well, today on our program, we have stories of three people who pretty much know what they are choosing is wrong.
好吧，今天在我们的节目中，我们讲述了三个人的故事，他们几乎知道自己的选择是错误的。
They don't even wonder.
他们甚至不怀疑。
They know it.
他们知道。
But they don't think it's that wrong.
但他们并不认为这是错误的。
They make excuses.
他们找借口。
They dig themselves in deeper.
他们把自己挖得更深。
In short, they act like you and me, and everyone who has ever lived, witnessed-- 77% of Illinois' 10th district, who voted Derrick Smith another term.
简而言之，他们的行为就像你和我，以及所有曾经生活过的人，见证了伊利诺伊州第 10 选区 77% 的人投票给德里克·史密斯连任。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One.
第一幕。
The Postcard Always Rings Twice.
明信片总是响两声。
So a venial sin, a small sin, just isn't that big of a deal, right?
所以，一个小罪，一个小罪，没什么大不了的，对吧？
But it turns out, if you keep committing the same venial sin, over and over, if you pile it on, if you escalate, if you become-- in the words of one priest who we talked to this week, "callous of the heart"-- a venial sin can turn into a mortal sin through sheer volume.
但事实证明，如果你不断犯下同样的小罪，一遍又一遍，如果你不断加重，如果你升级，如果你变得——用我们本周采访的一位牧师的话说，“内心冷酷无情”——那么，小罪可能会随着数量的增加而变成大罪。
That is, a not terribly serious event can become a very serious one.
也就是说，一件不太严重的事件可能会变成一件非常严重的事件。
Which is more or less what happens in this next story, from Alex Blumberg.
这或多或少就是亚历克斯·布隆伯格的下一个故事中发生的事情。
Let's start things off by introducing our sinner.
让我们从介绍我们的罪人开始吧。
My name is Jeff Smith.
我叫杰夫·史密斯。
I'm from Saint Louis, Missouri.
我来自密苏里州圣路易斯。
I was an educator there.
我是那里的一名教育家。
I worked in the St. Louis City schools.
我在圣路易斯市的学校工作。
And then I ran for Congress.
然后我竞选国会议员。
I lost narrowly.
我以微弱优势输了。
Then I served on the Missouri State Senate for three years, and then I spent last year in federal prison.
然后我在密苏里州参议院任职三年，然后去年在联邦监狱度过。
Now, Jeff Smith will be the first to tell you-- the sin that landed him in federal prison was hardly the worst sin of his life.
现在，杰夫·史密斯将第一个告诉你——让他入狱的罪孽并不是他一生中最严重的罪孽。
In fact, among the myriad sins you'll hear about in this story-- sins involving drug dealing, lying to federal agents, attempted murder-- that original sin, the one that landed him in prison, might not even deserve the title of "sin" at all.
事实上，在这个故事中你会听到的无数罪恶中——涉及毒品交易、向联邦特工撒谎、谋杀未遂——其中使他入狱的原罪，甚至可能根本不值得被称为“原罪”。
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
但我有点超前了。
The story begins in 2003, and starts with, of all people, former Congressman Dick Gephardt from Missouri's 3rd District.
故事要从2003年开始，要从密苏里州第三选区的前国会议员迪克·格普哈特开始。
Dick Gephardt, who'd represented the 3rd District for 28 years, had run for president twice, unsuccessfully, but was the leader of the House Democrats, decided to retire.
代表第三选区 28 年的迪克·格普哈特 (Dick Gephardt) 曾两次竞选总统，均未成功，但作为众议院民主党领袖，他决定退休。
And Jeff Smith decided to run for his seat.
杰夫·史密斯决定竞选他的席位。
Now, let me just list the ways this was an utterly foolish decision.
现在，让我列出一下这是一个完全愚蠢的决定。
Jeff Smith was a part-time Political Science professor who'd never held any elected office-- not councilman, not dog catcher, nothing.
杰夫·史密斯是一位兼职政治学教授，他从未担任过任何民选公职——不是议员，不是捕狗员，什么都没有。
His opponent in the Democratic primary, on the other hand, Russ Carnahan, came from one of the most prominent political families in the state.
另一方面，他在民主党初选中的对手拉斯·卡纳汉(Russ Carnahan)来自该州最著名的政治家族之一。
As the Bushes are to Texas, the Kennedys are to Massachusetts, the Carnahans are to Missouri.
正如布什家族之于德克萨斯州、肯尼迪家族之于马萨诸塞州、卡纳汉家族之于密苏里州一样。
Russ' dad, Mel, was the governor of Missouri.
拉斯的父亲梅尔是密苏里州州长。
He died in a plane crash in 2000 as he was running for Senate.
2000年，他在竞选参议员时因飞机失事身亡。
Russ' grandfather also served in politics, a seven-term congressman from Missouri.
拉斯的祖父也曾从政，曾担任密苏里州七届国会议员。
Russ' mom, Jean, served briefly as a US senator from Missouri, and his sister Robin was Missouri's Secretary of State.
拉斯的母亲吉恩曾短暂担任密苏里州的美国参议员，他的妹妹罗宾曾担任密苏里州国务卿。
Add to this that Jeff Smith was 29 years old, 5'6", 120 pounds, with a funny voice and a penchant for baggy, hand-me-down suits.
除此之外，杰夫·史密斯 (Jeff Smith) 29 岁，身高 5 英尺 6 英寸，体重 120 磅，有着有趣的声音和对宽松的二手西装的喜爱。
He came across less like a candidate for Congress and more like a well-spoken teenager running for class president.
他给人的印象不太像国会候选人，而更像是一个竞选班长的能说会道的青少年。
In fact, his own family thought his candidacy was ridiculous.
事实上，他的家人认为他的候选资格很荒谬。
Well actually, I went to dinner at my family's house, and I told my parents and my brother that I planned to run for Congress.
事实上，我去我家吃晚饭，我告诉我的父母和我的兄弟我计划竞选国会议员。
And they laughed at me.
他们嘲笑我。
My brother was imitating Beavis and Butthead.
我哥哥在模仿比维斯和巴特海德。
"Uh, if you win, would you like, get Secret Service and stuff?" You know, stuff-- just moronic things like that.
“呃，如果你赢了，你愿意请特勤局之类的人吗？”你知道，诸如此类的蠢事。
My mom said, "What are you running away from?
妈妈说：“你逃避什么？
Why don't you just settle down and have a normal life?
为什么不安定下来过正常的生活呢？
This is the most absurd thing I've ever heard."
这是我听过的最荒谬的事情。”
My Grandma-- she was 95 at the time-- one of her bridge partners received my first solicitation letter.
我的祖母当时已经 95 岁了，她的一位桥牌合伙人收到了我的第一封邀请信。
And her bridge partner came to the bridge game and said, "Hey, can I write your grandson a check, you know?
她的桥牌搭档来到桥牌比赛现场说道：“嘿，我可以给你的孙子写一张支票吗？
Where do I send it?" And my Grandma said, "If I were you, I'd save your money."
我该寄到哪里呢？”我奶奶说：“如果我是你，我就会帮你省钱。”
Still, there was a method to Jeff's madness.
不过，杰夫的疯狂是有办法的。
There were 10 candidates competing in the primary, and Jeff figured, as one of the most outspoken and liberal candidates in the pack, he'd be able to stand out, generate just enough votes to eke out a win over the man everyone considered the frontrunner, Russ Carnahan.
有 10 名候选人参加初选，杰夫认为，作为这群候选人中最直言不讳、最自由的候选人之一，他能够脱颖而出，获得足够的选票，以击败所有人都认为是领跑者的拉斯·卡纳汉 (Russ Carnahan)。
Jeff had been a very popular part-time professor, and a lot of his former students began to volunteer for his campaign.
杰夫是一位非常受欢迎的兼职教授，他以前的许多学生开始自愿参加他的竞选活动。
This volunteer force of 20-somethings grew steadily into one of the biggest and most well-organized ground games in the primary.
这支由 20 多岁的志愿者组成的队伍稳步成长为初选中规模最大、组织最完善的地面比赛之一。
And Jeff Smith had another valuable asset-- his best friend, Steve Brown.
杰夫·史密斯还有另一项宝贵的资产——他最好的朋友史蒂夫·布朗。
I guess you would say I was Chairman of the Kitchen Cabinet, so to speak.
我想你会说我是厨柜主席，可以这么说。
Steve Brown and Jeff Smith had first met during Steve's failed bid for the state legislature in 2001.
史蒂夫·布朗 (Steve Brown) 和杰夫·史密斯 (Jeff Smith) 第一次见面是在 2001 年史蒂夫竞选州立法机构失败期间。
Jeff had been Steve's campaign manager.
杰夫曾是史蒂夫的竞选经理。
During that campaign, they discovered they were each other's political soulmates.
在那次竞选期间，他们发现自己是彼此的政治灵魂伴侣。
They had the same principles, the same beliefs, the same obsessive interest in the details of political strategy.
他们有着相同的原则、相同的信念，对政治策略的细节有着相同的痴迷兴趣。
They would spend hours a night discussing the nuances of messaging, how best to implement a get-out-the-vote campaign, whose political fortunes were rising, and whose were falling.
他们每晚都会花几个小时讨论信息传递的细微差别，如何最好地实施投票活动，谁的政治命运在上升，谁在下降。
And when Jeff told Steve he was running for Gephardt's seat, Steve-- unlike Jeff's own family-- was immediately behind him.
当杰夫告诉史蒂夫他要竞选格普哈特的席位时，史蒂夫——与杰夫自己的家人不同——立即站在他身后。
Steve was not an official member of Jeff's campaign, and he had no formal role.
史蒂夫不是杰夫竞选活动的正式成员，也没有正式的角色。
But his unofficial role was big, because Steve, unlike Jeff, came from a wealthy and politically connected family.
但他的非官方角色很重要，因为史蒂夫与杰夫不同，来自一个富有且有政治关系的家庭。
My specific goal was attempting to help introduce him to people that would help him raise money.
我的具体目标是试图帮助他认识可以帮助他筹集资金的人。
My family had spent a lot of time in Democratic politics in the state and doing other charitable work, as well, and I had access to people that could write him checks, and my job was to put him in front of those people.
我的家人花了很多时间参与该州的民主政治并从事其他慈善工作，而且我可以接触到可以给他写支票的人，而我的工作就是把他放在这些人面前。
And that's-- if I had a specific role, that's what I would try to do.
那就是——如果我有一个特定的角色，那就是我会尝试做的。
One other thing that must be said-- Jeff Smith was a very gifted campaigner.
还有一件事必须说——杰夫·史密斯是一位非常有天赋的活动家。
On the trail, he was funny, sincere, great in front of a crowd, whether that crowd was a bunch of liberal college kids at a coffee shop in St. Louis, or a group of wealthy donors in the suburbs.
在路上，他在人群面前风趣、真诚、出色，无论这些人群是圣路易斯一家咖啡馆里的一群自由派大学生，还是郊区的一群富有的捐助者。
And over the course of the race, Jeff's campaign steadily gained momentum, attracted more volunteers, more money.
在比赛过程中，杰夫的竞选活动稳步发展，吸引了更多的志愿者和更多的资金。
And professional campaign consultants.
以及专业的竞选顾问。
One sure sign that your campaign is doing better?
有一个明确的迹象表明你的竞选活动做得更好了？
More and more professional political types come forward to try and sell you their services.
越来越多的专业政治人士站出来尝试向你推销他们的服务。
And was an encounter with one of these types that sent Jeff down his windy, improbable path to prison.
正是与其中一种人的遭遇，让杰夫走上了他那条蜿蜒曲折、不可思议的监狱之路。
Here's Jeff.
这是杰夫。
We were approached by a man named Skip Ohlsen, who sort of billed himself as a practitioner of political dark arts.
一位名叫斯基普·奥尔森（Skip Ohlsen）的人找到我们，他自称是政治黑暗艺术的实践者。
He also claimed to be very close to the governor.
他还声称与州长关系非常密切。
Apparently he had spent the night in the governor's mansion, had raised money for the governor and lieutenant governor.
显然他是在总督府过夜，为总督和副总督筹款的。
Skip presented himself as a seasoned media consultant who wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty, and Jeff said no thanks.
斯基普将自己描述为一位经验丰富的媒体顾问，他不怕弄脏自己的双手，而杰夫则表示不，谢谢。
But as the campaign heated up and entered its final months, it became clear it wasn't going to be enough for Jeff just to plant more yard signs than his opponent.
但随着竞选活动的升温并进入最后几个月，很明显，杰夫仅仅比对手种植更多的院子标志是不够的。
He needed to attack Carnahan, and Jeff had just the issue he wanted to hit him with.
他需要攻击卡纳汉，而杰夫正好有他想要解决的问题。
When Carnahan had served in the state legislature, his attendance record was dismal.
当卡纳汉在州议会任职时，他的出席率记录很惨淡。
He had missed more votes and more days of work than almost any of the state legislators, and had passed no meaningful legislation.
他比几乎所有州立法者错过了更多的选票和更多的工作天数，并且没有通过任何有意义的立法。
So when Ohlsen came back to Jeff's campaign to offer his services again, the campaign took him up on it.
因此，当奥尔森再次回到杰夫的竞选团队并提供服务时，竞选团队接受了他。
Two of Jeff's staff members met with Ohlsen and shared Carnahan's attendance data with him.
杰夫的两名工作人员会见了奥尔森，并向他分享了卡纳汉的出勤数据。
Ohlsen was going to send out direct mailers to voters in the district highlighting his attendance record.
奥尔森打算向该地区的选民直接寄出邮件，强调他的出席记录。
The problem was, Ohlsen was going to do this as an independent expenditure.
问题是，奥尔森打算将其作为一项独立支出来进行。
For those not schooled in the intricacies of election law, an independent expenditure is money that could be spent on ads, mailers, whatever, that is not subject to campaign finance limits.
对于那些没有受过复杂的选举法教育的人来说，独立支出是指可以花在广告、邮件等上的钱，不受竞选财务限制。
The Swift Boat ads from 2004, targeting John Kerry-- those were independent expenditures.
2004 年针对约翰·克里 (John Kerry) 的 Swift Boat 广告——这些都是独立支出。
The catch is, there's supposed to be no coordination between the group putting together the independent expenditure and the campaign.
问题是，独立支出和竞选活动之间应该没有协调。
So for members of Jeff's staff to be coordinating with Skip Ohlsen on these mailers was illegal-- even if the coordination involved nothing more than supplying him with publicly available data on Carnahan's attendance and voting record.
因此，杰夫的工作人员与斯基普·奥尔森就这些邮件进行协调是非法的——即使这种协调只不过是向他提供有关卡纳汉出席和投票记录的公开数据。
Now, Jeff knew all this, but he gave it go-ahead anyway.
现在，杰夫知道这一切，但他还是同意了。
My two staff people came back to me at headquarters.
我的两名工作人员回到总部来找我。
They said, this guy wants to do this independent expenditure.
他们说，这家伙要做这个独立支出。
And instead of saying-- I don't want you to meet with him, I said, hey, I don't want to know any of the details.
我没有说——我不想让你见到他，而是说，嘿，我不想知道任何细节。
Which was essentially giving tacit permission for them to go and give him that information.
这实质上是默认他们可以向他提供这些信息。
This was Jeff's first sin.
这是杰夫犯下的第一个罪过。
The minute he knew that his staff were coordinating to produce an independent expenditure, he was complicit in this illegal act, and he knew that.
当他知道他的员工正在协调产生一项独立支出的那一刻，他就参与了这一非法行为，他知道这一点。
But as sins go, especially political sins, it didn't seem that bad-- the political equivalent of jaywalking.
但就罪恶而言，尤其是政治罪恶，它似乎并没有那么糟糕——政治上相当于乱穿马路。
Jeff figured, this is the sort of thing that happens all the time.
杰夫想，这种事情经常发生。
The campaign put Ohlsen in touch with Steve Brown, who found some money to pay him.
这次竞选活动使奥尔森与史蒂夫·布朗取得了联系，后者找到了一些钱来支付他的薪水。
And that part was legal, by the way.
顺便说一句，这部分是合法的。
Remember, Steve Brown was not an official member of Jeff's campaign.
请记住，史蒂夫·布朗并不是杰夫竞选活动的正式成员。
And then everyone went back about their business.
然后每个人都回去忙自己的事了。
Here's Jeff Smith.
这是杰夫·史密斯。
Over the course of the whole campaign, I didn't think about it for more than 15 minutes, probably.
在整个竞选过程中，我思考这个问题的时间可能不会超过 15 分钟。
It was just one more decision in a long string of decisions you make every day.
这只是你每天做出的一长串决定中的又一个决定。
Yeah, you make thousands of decisions.
是的，你会做出数千个决定。
And my focus was 600 volunteers, making sure that I had 20 full-time interns who were all college kids or high school kids, and I had a great field director-- I wanted to make sure they were all knocking on doors.
我的重点是 600 名志愿者，确保我有 20 名全职实习生，他们都是大学生或高中生，而且我有一位出色的现场主管 - 我想确保他们都来敲门。
I needed to raise the money to make sure that we could get up on black radio, that we could do TV ads, that we could fill out our direct mail program.
我需要筹集资金以确保我们能够在黑色广播电台上播出，我们能够做电视广告，我们能够填写我们的直邮节目。
I mean, really, I doubted that it would ever happen, because I didn't view Skip Ohlsen as being a credible person, and I doubted that he'd ever follow through with it.
我的意思是，真的，我怀疑这是否会发生，因为我不认为斯基普·奥尔森是一个可信的人，而且我怀疑他是否会坚持到底。
For weeks and weeks, it seemed Jeff was right to doubt.
几周来，杰夫的怀疑似乎是正确的。
But then, in the final days of the campaign, Skip sent out the mailers-- postcards to addresses all over the district, highlighting Carnahan's attendance record.
但随后，在竞选的最后几天，斯基普向整个选区的各个地址寄出了明信片，强调了卡纳汉的出席记录。
Jeff didn't even know the mailers had gone out until Jeff's press secretary got ahold of one.
杰夫甚至不知道邮件已经发出去，直到杰夫的新闻秘书找到了一封。
He shows it to me, and it was this amateurish thing.
他向我展示了它，这是一个业余的东西。
I mean, it looked like a seventh grader did it at the last minute, after procrastinating for three weeks on his end of the semester project.
我的意思是，看起来就像一个七年级学生在学期末的项目上拖延了三个星期后在最后一刻才完成的。
It was not well-done.
做得并不好。
And we immediately noticed that it lacked a disclaimer.
我们立即注意到它缺少免责声明。
That is, that little thing at the end of all political ads-- "Paid For By Citizens for Fairness," or "Taxpayers for Justice." So the way an independent expenditure is supposed to work-- a separate entity is formed and registered with the Federal Elections Committee, the body in charge of federal election law.
也就是说，所有政治广告结尾处的那句话——“公民为公平付费”或“纳税人为正义付费”。因此，独立支出的运作方式应该是——成立一个独立的实体，并向联邦选举委员会（负责联邦选举法的机构）注册。
And the name of that entity is supposed to be present on all the political materials it sends out.
该实体的名称应该出现在它发出的所有政治材料上。
Here's Steve Brown.
请听史蒂夫·布朗的报道。
And for whatever reason, I certainly didn't know that he was going to do it.
不管出于什么原因，我当然不知道他会这么做。
He put on there sort of a bogus disclaimer, saying "Paid For by RustyCarnahan.org." OK?
他在那儿放了一个虚假的免责声明，说“由 RustyCarnahan.org 付费”。可以吗？
I don't know why he did it.
我不知道他为什么这么做。
If he had put the regular thing on there, and they had found out that I was involved, it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.
如果他把常规的东西放在那里，并且他们发现我参与其中，那我就不会感到丝毫困扰。
We didn't want him to do that.
我们不希望他这样做。
He did that.
他这么做了。
And what was he supposed to say?
他应该说什么？
Paid for by--?
费用由——？
What was it supposed to say?
它本来应该说什么？
"Voters for Truth," which was just a entity that he had created to conduct business.
“真理选民”，这只是他为了开展业务而创建的一个实体。
But that was the entity that has all the T's crossed and the I's dotted and all that sort of stuff.
但这是一个实体，里面有所有的“T”交叉和“I”点缀以及所有类似的东西。
It was legal, basically.
基本上，这是合法的。
Yes.
是的。
It was a committee, or it was an independent expenditure, set up properly.
这是一个委员会，或者说是一个独立的支出，设立得当。
Putting a disclaimer on a political mailing is a pretty basic thing.
在政治邮件上添加免责声明是一件非常基本的事情。
To this day it's unclear why Skip Ohlsen didn't do it.
直到今天，我们还不清楚为什么斯基普·奥尔森没有这么做。
But since he hadn't, there were now 25,000 disclaimerless postcards out there, and the amount of damage that that one omission opened the door to was truly staggering.
但由于他没有这样做，现在市面上有 25,000 张无免责声明的明信片，而这一疏忽所造成的损失确实令人震惊。
What happened, in this case, is that Russ Carnahan also noticed that the mailer lacked a disclaimer.
在这种情况下，拉斯·卡纳汉也注意到邮件中缺少免责声明。
He noticed Jeff Smith holding press conferences raising the same exact point about his attendance record as the mailer did, and he probably noticed, as well, that when you clicked on RustyCarnahan.org, you came to a page with an illustration of a barefooted person on a beach, napping in a hammock.
他注意到杰夫·史密斯（Jeff Smith）召开新闻发布会，对他的出勤记录提出了与邮件发送者相同的观点，他可能还注意到，当你点击 RustyCarnahan.org 时，你会看到一个页面，上面有一个赤脚的人在海滩上的吊床上打盹的插图。
And so with roughly a week before the election, he filed a formal complaint with the FEC, saying essentially, here's this illegal mailer.
因此，在选举前大约一周，他向联邦选举委员会提出了正式投诉，基本上说，这是这个非法邮件。
I think Jeff Smith is behind it.
我认为杰夫·史密斯是幕后黑手。
Investigate, please.
请调查一下。
And then, about a week later, election night came.
然后，大约一周后，选举之夜到来了。
The race was much closer than anyone thought it would be.
这场比赛比任何人想象的都要激烈得多。
At several points during the night, it looked like Jeff might actually win.
当晚的几个时刻，杰夫看起来似乎真的会赢。
But in the end, he was edged out by Russ Carnahan.
但最终，他被拉斯·卡纳汉（Russ Carnahan）击败。
Final margin of victory, less than 2000 votes.
最终以不到2000票的微弱优势获胜。
A day or two later, Jeff met with Russ Carnahan in the obligatory water-under-the-bridge post-primary fence-mending session.
一两天后，杰夫在小学后必修的“桥下水”修墙会议上会见了拉斯·卡纳汉。
I said hey, congratulations, you won.
我说嘿，恭喜你，你赢了。
I'm happy to help you now in the general election.
我很高兴现在能在大选中为您提供帮助。
I want to make sure a Democrat holds this seat.
我想确保民主党人占据这个席位。
I'll endorse you.
我会支持你的。
I can do it publicly, I can do a press release, whatever you want.
我可以公开做，我可以做新闻稿，无论你想要什么。
I'll raise money for you, I'll knock on doors for you, I'll ask my volunteers to knock on doors for you.
我会为你筹集资金，我会为你敲门，我会请我的志愿者为你敲门。
He said, great.
他说，太好了。
I said, I do have one request.
我说，我有一个要求。
I'd love it if you dropped that FEC complaint.
如果您放弃对 FEC 的投诉，我会很高兴。
And my support will not hinge on your decision.
我的支持并不取决于你的决定。
I'll still be happy to do those things.
我仍然会很乐意做这些事情。
But as a gesture of goodwill, I'd appreciate it if you dropped the complaint.
但作为一种善意的表示，如果您放弃投诉，我将不胜感激。
And he looked at his brother, and his brother said, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid the missile's already left the silo.
他看着他的兄弟，他的兄弟说，对不起，但恐怕导弹已经离开了发射井。
Sometime later, Jeff received a copy of the FEC complaint in the mail.
一段时间后，杰夫在邮件中收到了 FEC 投诉的副本。
He showed it to his lawyer, and she prepared an affidavit for him to sign-- an affidavit claiming Jeff Smith had no knowledge of who was behind the postcard.
他把它拿给他的律师看，她准备了一份宣誓书供他签署——一份宣誓书声称杰夫·史密斯不知道明信片背后的人是谁。
This, of course, was not true, but Jeff signed it anyway.
当然，这不是真的，但杰夫还是签了字。
Now, this was a big step, making a false statement on an affidavit in response to a federal investigation.
现在，这是迈出的一大步，在回应联邦调查的宣誓书中做出了虚假陈述。
That took him out of wrist slap territory and into potential prison territory.
这让他脱离了打手腕的境地，进入了潜在的监狱境地。
But Jeff didn't really appreciate the magnitude of this much larger crime, because it was still linked in his mind too that smaller, original one-- that technically illegal coordination over a postcard.
但杰夫并没有真正意识到这一规模大得多的犯罪的严重性，因为在他的脑海里，这仍然与那起较小的、原始的犯罪联系在一起——通过一张明信片进行技术上的非法协调。
And plus, the campaign was over.
而且，竞选活动结束了。
He'd lost.
他输了。
He knew he'd never do anything like this again if it left a bad taste in his mouth the first time.
他知道，如果第一次给他留下了不好的印象，他就再也不会做这样的事了。
He was worried about implicating his staff people who'd met with Skip Ohlsen, and he was already in debt from his race and worried about paying a potential fine himself.
他担心会连累与斯基普·奥尔森会面的员工，而且他已经因竞选而负债累累，担心自己可能会被罚款。
And so for a variety of reasons, none of which I say to excuse my terrible mistake, I just went ahead and signed it.
因此，出于各种原因，我没有说这些是为了原谅我的可怕错误，我只是继续签署了它。
I just figured-- I did an instant calculation in my head.
我只是想——我在脑子里做了一个即时计算。
I know there's hundreds, if not thousands, of these situations across the country, every election cycle.
我知道，每个选举周期，全国各地都会有数百甚至数千起此类情况。
There's always accusations of coordination.
总是有人指责协调。
Most of the time they're probably right, but it's probably not provable.
大多数时候他们可能是对的，但这可能无法证明。
And I assume this complaint will just fall into that huge stack that they'll look into, not be able to figure anything out definitively, and-- you know, that will be that.
我认为这个投诉只会落入他们将调查的巨大堆栈中，无法明确地解决任何问题，而且 - 你知道，就是这样。
And in fact, for two years, basically nothing happened with the FEC case.
事实上，两年来，FEC案基本上没有任何进展。
During that time, Jeff made another bid for elected office, this one successful, and got himself elected to the Missouri State Senate.
在那段时间里，杰夫再次竞选公职，这次成功了，并当选为密苏里州参议员。
And then, about right after I got elected to the Missouri Senate, things heated up again.
然后，大约在我当选密苏里州参议员后，事情再次升温。
And Skip called my friend Steve Brown and said, they want to talk to me.
斯基普打电话给我的朋友史蒂夫·布朗说，他们想和我谈谈。
And Steve called me and told me that.
史蒂夫打电话给我并告诉了我这一点。
And he said, they're going to talk to Skip, but don't worry.
他说，他们会和斯基普谈谈，但别担心。
I'll take care of Skip.
我会照顾斯基普的。
I talked to him, and had a long conversation with him.
我和他聊了聊，聊了很长时间。
Again, Steve Brown.
又是史蒂夫·布朗。
He says he tried to convince Ohlsen not to say anything to the FEC.
他说他试图说服奥尔森不要向联邦选举委员会说任何话。
And I hung the carrot out there of working on future campaigns with me and Jeff, and making some money, if he were to sort of fall on his sword and have this investigation end with him.
我把胡萝卜挂在那里，与我和杰夫一起开展未来的竞选活动，并赚一些钱，如果他倒在剑上并结束这项调查的话。
And did you think that he was going to do that?
你认为他会这么做吗？
I was not 100% confident that he was going to do that.
我并不是 100% 相信他会这么做。
Now at this point, Steve Brown was an Assistant Attorney General for the state of Missouri, so he of all people knew that it was illegal to do what he was doing-- to try to get Ohlsen to lie to the FEC.
此时，史蒂夫·布朗 (Steve Brown) 是密苏里州的助理总检察长，因此他知道他所做的事情是非法的——试图让奥尔森向联邦选举委员会撒谎。
But he says he was thinking about it not like a lawyer, but a politician-- the same way Jeff was.
但他说，他不是像律师那样思考这个问题，而是像政治家一样——就像杰夫一样。
That original infraction was so minor and technical-- about a postcard.
最初的违规行为是如此轻微和技术性——关于一张明信片。
And there was a lot at stake now.
现在事关重大。
He and Jeff both had exceeded everyone's expectations with that campaign.
他和杰夫在那次竞选中都超出了所有人的预期。
Their political fortunes were on the rise.
他们的政治命运正在上升。
Steve was worried that an FEC violation would damage all that.
Steve 担心 FEC 违规行为会损害这一切。
And he figured, who would ever find out about a private conversation like this, anyway?
他想，无论如何，谁会发现这样的私人谈话呢？
Plus, it's not like the FEC has a reputation for aggressively pursuing campaign finance violations.
另外，联邦选举委员会并不以积极追查竞选财务违规行为而闻名。
Many people consider it a bit of a joke as an enforcement agency.
许多人认为作为执法机构这有点笑话。
And for about a year after Ohlsen talked to the FEC, nothing happened.
在奥尔森与 FEC 交谈后大约一年的时间里，什么也没发生。
During that time, Steve Brown left his job in the Attorney General's office and also got himself elected to the state legislature, on the House side, so now he and Jeff were going to be serving together.
在那段时间里，史蒂夫·布朗辞去了司法部长办公室的工作，并当选为众议院议员，所以现在他和杰夫将一起任职。
Things were going great.
事情进展顺利。
And then, in the winter of 2007, the FEC came out with its report saying they were dropping the case.
然后，2007 年冬天，FEC 发布报告称他们将撤销此案。
Skip Ohlsen was just too unreliable a witness.
斯基普·奥尔森这个证人实在是太不可靠了。
Steve Brown recalls getting the news.
史蒂夫·布朗回忆起听到这个消息的情景。
Jeff called me up and said, I've got a present for you.
杰夫打电话给我说，我给你准备了一份礼物。
I've got to come by and show it to you.
我必须过来给你看。
And he becomes by and gives me a copy of the final report that closes the matter, and I say to him, boy, I think we really dodged a bullet on this one.
他过来给了我一份结束此事的最终报告副本，我对他说，孩子，我认为我们在这件事上确实躲过了一劫。
And at that particular point in time, I did think this was over.
在那个特定的时间点，我确实认为一切都结束了。
In fact, reading the report, it only reinforced the notion that the FEC wasn't much of an investigative body.
事实上，阅读该报告后，它只会强化这样一种观念：联邦选举委员会并不是一个调查机构。
They never even talked to Steve Brown, although he did see his name mentioned.
他们甚至从未与史蒂夫·布朗交谈过，尽管他确实看到有人提到了他的名字。
A footnote in the investigation said, "Skip Ohlsen says Steve Brown helped provide the money for this effort." Something along the lines of, "We doubt that this person even exists." "We've been unable to locate him and doubt that he even exists." And at that particular time, when the FEC wrote that, my name was on the ballot in Missouri.
调查中的脚注称，“斯基普·奥尔森说史蒂夫·布朗帮助为这项工作提供了资金。”大致意思是“我们怀疑这个人是否存在。” “我们一直无法找到他，甚至怀疑他是否存在。”在那个特定的时间，当联邦选举委员会写下这句话时，我的名字出现在密苏里州的选票上。
But be that as it may, they closed their investigation at that point.
但无论如何，他们当时就结束了调查。
And that is the point where the matter would have died-- if not for one of the strangest and most random twists you could imagine.
如果不是你能想象到的最奇怪、最随机的转折之一，事情就到此为止了。
Late afternoon on a Wednesday in October 2008, a 69-year-old attorney found a wicker basket next to his car, an Acura, in the parking garage of his office.
2008 年 10 月的一个星期三下午晚些时候，一位 69 岁的律师在他办公室的停车场里，在他的一辆讴歌汽车旁边发现了一个柳条篮。
When he picked up the basket, it exploded, severely burning his hands and face.
当他拿起篮子时，篮子爆炸了，严重烧伤了他的手和脸。
The police could find no motive.
警方找不到作案动机。
This man didn't seem like the type of guy who would provoke an attempt on his life.
这个男人看起来不像是那种会挑衅他的人。
Who's trying to kill him?
谁想杀他？
They didn't find any suspects, but they did discover that there was another Acura, often parked in that same garage, just a floor away.
他们没有找到任何嫌疑人，但他们确实发现还有另一辆讴歌，经常停在同一个车库里，就在一层楼之外。
And this Acura belonged to a divorce attorney-- a divorce attorney who happened to represent the estranged ex-wife of one Skip Ohlsen, the practitioner of the political dark arts.
这辆讴歌属于一位离婚律师——这位离婚律师碰巧代表了政治黑暗艺术的实践者斯基普·奥尔森（Skip Ohlsen）分居的前妻。
Steve called Jeff with the news.
史蒂夫打电话告诉杰夫这个消息。
He called me one day right after session and told me that Skip Ohlsen was being investigated for a car bombing of Skip's ex-wife's divorce attorney.
会议结束后的一天，他给我打电话，告诉我斯基普·奥尔森因汽车炸弹袭击斯基普前妻的离婚律师而受到调查。
And we were just like, oh my god.
我们当时就想，天啊。
And then Steve told me that Skip was also being investigated for illegal weapons possession, and mortgage fraud, and bank fraud, and had also been convicted before of cocaine distribution and domestic violence, domestic abuse.
然后史蒂夫告诉我，斯基普还因非法持有武器、抵押贷款欺诈和银行欺诈而受到调查，之前还因分销可卡因、家庭暴力、家庭虐待而被定罪。
Just a whole litany of things.
只是一连串的事情。
And we had thought, had a hunch, that Skip was a little bit shady, but we, of course, had no idea of all of that.
我们曾以为，有一种预感，斯基普有点阴暗，但我们当然不知道这一切。
You didn't think that he was capable of murder?
你不认为他有杀人的能力吗？
Jeff worried, what if Skip tries to cut a plea deal by saying, "I have damaging information about two state lawmakers"?
杰夫担心，如果斯基普试图通过说“我有关于两名州议员的破坏性信息”来达成认罪协议怎么办？
So he and Steve met to talk it over.
于是他和史蒂夫见面讨论了这件事。
Well, Steve comes to my house, and one of my former staffers from 2004 comes over, and we discuss how we're going to handle the situation.
好吧，史蒂夫来到我家，我 2004 年的一位前员工也过来了，我们讨论了如何处理这种情况。
I say, hey, I'm already out there.
我说，嘿，我已经出去了。
I signed an affidavit, OK, saying I didn't know anything about this.
我签了一份宣誓书，好吧，说我对此一无所知。
So I'm just going to stick to that.
所以我会坚持下去。
And Nick Adams, my first staff person in 2004-- Nick said, "Hey, this is the word of one cocaine-distributing, wife-beating convicted felon against the word of a state representative and lawyer"-- Steve Brown-- "and political science professor and state senator.
2004 年，我的第一位工作人员尼克·亚当斯 (Nick Adams) 说：“嘿，这是一个散布可卡因、殴打妻子的重罪犯的话，违背了州代表和律师”——史蒂夫·布朗 (Steve Brown)——“以及政治学教授和州参议员的言论。
Who are they going to believe?" And I agreed with that.
他们会相信谁？”我同意这一点。
And I said, "I think we should just stick to the story."
我说：“我认为我们应该坚持这个故事。”
So Steve he called me several times over the course of a couple months, and we met in person and discussed all of this frequently.
因此，史蒂夫在几个月的时间里给我打了几次电话，我们亲自会面并经常讨论所有这些问题。
And little did I know that that entire time, he was wearing a wire.
我几乎不知道他一直戴着电线。
So when you were meeting at your house, he was wearing a wire.
所以当你们在家里见面时，他戴着一根电线。
He had you on tape saying--
他把你录在录音带上说——
He had me on tape saying the following.
他让我在录音中说出以下内容。
I said something to the effect of, "Did I know that Skip was going to do that postcard?
我说了一些大意的话，“我知道斯基普要制作那张明信片吗？
No, I didn't know.
不，我不知道。
But I guess you could say that I had a pretty good hunch." So I say something to that effect, something pretty close to that, on tape.
但我想你可以说我有一种很好的预感。”所以我在磁带上说了一些类似的话，一些非常接近的内容。
So why, you might be wondering, was Steve Brown taping this conversation?
那么，您可能想知道，为什么史蒂夫·布朗要录制这段对话呢？
Well, it turns out that three years earlier, when Steve had had that conversation with Skip Ohlsen-- the one where he tried to keep him from testifying to the FEC-- the conversation in which he'd promised material rewards if Ohlsen lied to federal investigators-- during that conversation, Skip Ohlsen had been wearing a wire on Steve.
事实证明，三年前，当史蒂夫与斯基普·奥尔森进行那次谈话时——他试图阻止他向联邦选举委员会作证——在谈话中他承诺如果奥尔森对联邦调查人员撒谎，他将给予物质奖励——在那次谈话中，斯基普·奥尔森一直在监视史蒂夫。
When the Feds went to investigate Ohlsen for his various illegal activities, they found this recording, along with a stack of other ones.
当联邦调查局调查奥尔森的各种非法活动时，他们发现了这段录音以及一堆其他录音。
It appeared surreptitiously recording people with whom he was conducting business was a bit of a habit of Skip Ohlsen's.
偷偷地记录与他做生意的人似乎是斯基普·奥尔森的一个习惯。
Sometime after discovering these recordings, FBI agents approached Steve as he was leaving his house.
发现这些录音后不久，联邦调查局特工在史蒂夫离开家时找到了他。
Steve contacted his lawyer.
史蒂夫联系了他的律师。
His lawyer found out about the recordings, and came back with some very bad news for Steve.
他的律师发现了这些录音，并给史蒂夫带来了一些非常坏的消息。
He said, you are in very big trouble.
他说，你遇到了很大的麻烦。
There's going to be a felony conviction.
将会有重罪定罪。
You're going to lose your law license.
你将会失去你的律师执照。
You're going to lose your political career.
你将会失去你的政治生涯。
The job now is to try to keep you out of jail.
现在的工作是尽力让你出狱。
So that came down instantaneously.
所以这立刻就下来了。
Steve says that right at that moment, his attorney laid out the strategy for keeping Steve out of jail.
史蒂夫说，就在那一刻，他的律师制定了让史蒂夫出狱的策略。
And of course, that includes assisting the federal government in building their case against Jeff.
当然，这包括协助联邦政府对杰夫提起诉讼。
You know, here I was.
你知道，我就在这里。
I mean-- Jeff and I, over the years, would talk four hours-- OK-- into the middle of the night, on the phone constantly.
我的意思是——多年来，杰夫和我会聊四个小时——好吧——直到半夜，不断地打电话。
And here I was, going to have one of those conversations with Jeff, knowing that the purpose was to get him to say things to incriminate himself, that would ultimately get him prosecuted.
我在这里，要与杰夫进行一次这样的谈话，我知道目的是让他说出一些让自己入罪的事情，这最终会让他被起诉。
And what are your thoughts?
你有什么想法？
I mean, what were you thinking at that time?
我的意思是，你当时在想什么？
Uh--it's really very hard to put into words.
呃——真的很难用语言来表达。
These were-- it was a dark, dark day.
这是——那是非常非常黑暗的一天。
I mean, this is a crappy situation.
我的意思是，这是一个糟糕的情况。
And if Jeff were sitting across from me right now, I'd apologize to him for doing it.
如果杰夫现在坐在我对面，我会为此向他道歉。
But it was clearly what was going to happen.
但这显然是即将发生的事情。
I had lost my life for Jeff.
我为杰夫失去了生命。
OK?
好的？
I lost my political career.
我失去了政治生涯。
I lost my law license.
我失去了律师执照。
I lost reputation.
我失去了名誉。
And I lost all that in an attempt to help Jeff.
为了帮助杰夫，我失去了一切。
And that was as far as I was prepared to go.
这就是我准备去的范围。
To be honest-- sorry, Jeff.
说实话——对不起，杰夫。
Ah-- you're a good guy.
啊——你是个好人。
I had hoped and planned to do great things with you.
我曾希望并计划与你一起做伟大的事情。
But I'm not-- I'm not risking, I'm not taking away from my two children and my wife for you or anybody else.
但我不会——我不会冒险，我不会为了你或其他任何人而夺走我的两个孩子和我的妻子。
And so thinking about them is what really got me thinking, what I needed to do to keep myself out of jail.
因此，对它们的思考才是真正让我思考的，我需要做什么才能让自己远离监狱。
It turns out, being a great cooperating witness and someone's closest friend-- there's a lot of overlap.
事实证明，作为一个出色的合作见证人和某人最亲密的朋友——有很多重叠之处。
Steve and Jeff would talk about Skip Ohlsen's investigation, and Steve would ask Jeff, what are you going to do if they come to your house?
史蒂夫和杰夫会谈论斯基普·奥尔森的调查，史蒂夫会问杰夫，如果他们来到你家，你会怎么做？
I say at one point on the tape, "i'm going to be 90% honest with them." So right there-- there's a count of obstruction of justice.
我在录音中曾说过，“我会对他们保持 90% 的诚实。”就在那里——有一项妨碍司法公正的罪名。
In the end, Jeff was charged with nine counts.
最终，杰夫被指控九项罪名。
On the day the Feds came to his door and charged him, he went to his lawyer's office.
联邦调查局上门指控他的那天，他去了律师办公室。
Then she called the US Attorney's Office, and she came back 10 minutes later, and sat me down with another attorney, and said-- you know, your best friend has been wearing a wire for the last couple months, and you're probably going to go to prison.
然后她给美国检察官办公室打了电话，十分钟后她回来了，让我和另一位律师坐下来，说——你知道，你最好的朋友在过去几个月里一直戴着电线，你可能会进监狱。
So I drove to my parents' house.
于是我就开车去了我父母家。
I called him, told them I needed to come over and talk to them.
我打电话给他，告诉他们我需要过来和他们谈谈。
It's only about five minutes away, but it was probably the longest five minutes in my life.
虽然只有五分钟左右的路程，但这可能是我一生中最长的五分钟。
And I told them, hey, guys, listen.
我告诉他们，嘿，伙计们，听着。
I made a big mistake in my first campaign, and immediately afterwards, and I'm probably going to go to prison.
我在第一次竞选中犯了一个大错误，之后不久，我可能会进监狱。
And let me explain what I did.
让我解释一下我做了什么。
And my mom's response was, "I probably could have predicted"-- she said, "I knew this was going to happen.
我妈妈的回答是，“我可能已经预料到了”——她说，“我知道这会发生。
I told you that politics is dirty.
我告诉过你政治是肮脏的。
I told you not to get mixed up in this.
我告诉过你不要掺和进来。
I told you that you shouldn't have ever run for office." Maybe not what I needed to hear right at that moment, but I understood where she was coming from, because she had been the loudest voice from the start, telling me it was the stupidest idea she'd ever heard, for me to run for office.
我告诉过你，你不应该竞选公职。”也许不是我当时需要听到的，但我明白她的想法，因为她从一开始就是最响亮的声音，告诉我这是她听过的最愚蠢的想法，让我竞选公职。
Jeff was sent to federal prison in Kentucky to serve his one-year sentence.
杰夫被送往肯塔基州联邦监狱服刑一年。
He stood out in many ways there-- 5'6", 120 pounds, white, PhD.
他在很多方面都很引人注目——身高 5 英尺 6 英寸、体重 120 磅、白人、博士。
Plus, he was one of the few people in the facility not serving a drug sentence.
另外，他是该设施中少数没有服毒刑的人之一。
In fact, his fellow inmates had a hard time figuring out-- wait, how exactly did you wind up here?
事实上，他的狱友们很难弄清楚——等等，你到底是怎么到这里来的？
They thought I, like, embezzled millions.
他们认为我贪污了数百万美元。
They're like, "Man, you pulled some Blago [BLEEP]." You know, because the Blagojevich stuff was happening.
他们就像，“伙计，你拉了一些 Blago [BLEEP]。”你知道，因为布拉戈耶维奇的事情正在发生。
I'm like, "I didn't get any." They're like,"Then why'd you end up here?" I'm like, "It wasn't about money." They're like, "man"-- and they'd always be like, "what the [BLEEP]'s wrong with you?
我说：“我什么也没得到。”他们会说，“那你为什么会来到这里？”我想，“这不是钱的问题。”他们就像，“伙计”——他们总是会说，“你怎么了[BLEEP]？
You end up in prison, you didn't even get no money?"
你进监狱了，连钱都没有拿到？”
They thought I was really stupid.
他们认为我真的很蠢。
I mean, they thought I was really stupid.
我的意思是，他们认为我真的很蠢。
They're like, I'm in prison for a postcard?
他们说，我为了一张明信片而入狱？
During his time in prison, Jeff had a lot of time to think about that postcard-- his own mistakes in allowing it to happen, but also the utterly improbable chain of coincidences that allowed that postcard to come back and get him.
在监狱里，杰夫有很多时间思考那张明信片——他自己的错误让这件事发生，但也有一系列完全不可能的巧合，让那张明信片回到了他身边。
If Skip Ohlsen had just put the proper disclaimer on that postcard, for starters, identifying the organization that he had, in fact, gone to the trouble to properly set up.
如果斯基普·奥尔森刚刚在那张明信片上贴上了适当的免责声明，那么首先，表明他实际上是不辞辛劳地正确建立了这个组织。
Or if Skip Ohlsen hadn't tried to car bomb his ex-wife's divorce attorney.
或者，如果斯基普·奥尔森没有试图用汽车炸弹袭击他前妻的离婚律师。
Or if he hadn't had a penchant for surreptitiously recording conversations with business partners.
或者如果他没有偷偷地记录与商业伙伴的谈话的爱好。
Take out any one of those things, and Jeff Smith wouldn't have been sitting in his prison cell.
去掉其中任何一件，杰夫·史密斯就不会坐在牢房里了。
And then there was Steve Brown, his best friend who'd worn the wire.
然后是史蒂夫·布朗，他最好的朋友，也佩戴了电线。
It's a hard thing to get over.
这是一件很难克服的事情。
In the beginning, Jeff says, he had a lot of bitterness towards Steve.
杰夫说，一开始他对史蒂夫怀有很多怨恨。
But early on, Jeff found a mentor at the prison-- a former drug dealer serving a multi-year sentence nicknamed KY.
但杰夫很早就在监狱里找到了一位导师——一位被判多年徒刑、绰号 KY 的前毒贩。
KY overheard Jeff talking about Steve Brown to some other inmates.
肯塔基州无意中听到杰夫向其他一些囚犯谈论史蒂夫·布朗。
KY soon thereafter took me aside, because somebody had asked me, in a group setting-- kind of jokingly asked me, "Hey, man, let me get after your boy." "I have someone get after your boy." Basically joking around, saying, hey, we can have someone go do something to Steve Brown.
此后不久，KY就把我拉到一边，因为有人在集体场合问我——有点开玩笑地问我，“嘿，伙计，让我来追你的孩子。” “我已经派人追捕你的孩子了。”基本上是开玩笑，说，嘿，我们可以让人去对史蒂夫·布朗做点什么。
And I was sort of humoring him, like, what are they going to do to him?
我有点迁就他，比如，他们要对他做什么？
And KY took me aside and said, man, you got to put that dude out of your mind.
KY 把我拉到一边说，伙计，你得把那个家伙从你的脑海里抹掉。
Don't even think about him.
根本不去想他。
He's like, my brother-in-law told and got me here.
我姐夫告诉我，他把我带到了这里。
He's like, my first year, that's all I could think about.
他就像，我的第一年，这就是我所能想到的。
What I was going to that [BLEEP] when I got out.
当我出去时我要去做什么[BLEEP]。
And he's like, you can't do time like that.
他说，你不能那样度过时间。
You see these other dudes-- all they're doing is worrying about the dude who told on them, and what they're going to do to him when they get out.
你看看其他这些家伙——他们所做的就是担心那个告发他们的家伙，以及他们出去后会对他做什么。
And he's like, you can't get through your time.
他就像，你无法度过你的时间。
You've got to focus on positive stuff.
你必须关注积极的事情。
What happens if we don't?
如果我们不这样做会怎样？
Jeff Smith There's too much-- you just eat yourself up.
杰夫·史密斯 太多了——你只会吃掉自己。
Like, you go back in your cell at night, and you're just sitting there, thinking about it.
就像，你晚上回到牢房，只是坐在那里思考这件事。
You can't do that.
你不能那样做。
You can't get through-- I had this little bit of time, compared to those guys.
你无法通过——与那些家伙相比，我的时间就那么一点点。
Most of those guys had 10, 15 years.
这些人中的大多数人都有10年、15年的时间。
It's just a miserable experience.
这只是一次悲惨的经历。
It's just miserable being away from the people you love-- and prison sucks.
远离你所爱的人真是太痛苦了——而且监狱很糟糕。
And it sucked even more, precisely for the reason that prison is supposed to suck.
而且它更糟糕，正是因为监狱应该很糟糕。
He had time to think about what he'd done.
他有时间思考自己做了什么。
And there was a lot to jog his memory in the transcripts of the secret recordings Steve Brown made.
史蒂夫·布朗的秘密录音笔录中有很多东西可以唤起他的记忆。
At a certain point during the several months in which Steve Brown is recording, the Feds approach Jeff and question him.
在史蒂夫·布朗录音的几个月中的某个时刻，联邦调查局找到杰夫并询问他。
Jeff lies to them about what he knows about Skip Ohlsen.
杰夫向他们谎报了他对斯基普·奥尔森的了解。
Later in conversation with Steve Brown, he goes back and forth about what he should have done.
后来在与史蒂夫·布朗的谈话中，他反复讨论了他应该做什么。
At one point he says, quote, "Do you think I made a huge mistake today, telling them I didn't know who did the mailer?
有一次他说，“你认为我今天犯了一个巨大的错误，告诉他们我不知道是谁发的邮件吗？
If I called them back, would that change things?" But then later in the same conversation, he tells Steve, if the feds come and interview you, quote, "Can you just shade it at all?"
如果我给他们回电话，事情会改变吗？”但后来在同一次谈话中，他告诉史蒂夫，如果联邦调查局来采访你，引用的话，“你能遮掩一下吗？”
During another moment, he appeals to Steve to blame the whole thing on one of his staffers who had coordinated with Skip Ohlsen, who had since died.
在另一时刻，他呼吁史蒂夫将整件事归咎于与斯基普·奥尔森（Skip Ohlsen）协调的一名员工，后者后来去世了。
Another time he tells Steve, quote, "I hate to say this.
另一次，他对史蒂夫说：“我讨厌这么说。
The only way they can get me is if you or Nick"-- another former staff member-- "says something."
他们能找到我的唯一方法就是你或尼克”——另一位前工作人员——“说点什么。”
And when Steve refers on tape to the conversation he had with Skip Ohlsen where he tried to get him to lie to the FEC, Jeff says, quote, "You can't tell them that." And quote, "You'd be an utter fool to tell them you crossed over the line."
当史蒂夫在录音中提到他与斯基普·奥尔森的谈话时，他试图让他向联邦选举委员会撒谎，杰夫说，“你不能告诉他们这一点。”并引用：“如果你告诉他们你越界了，那就太傻了。”
To Steve Brown, it felt like he was the one being betrayed by his best friend.
对于史蒂夫·布朗来说，感觉就像是他被最好的朋友背叛了。
There were times when it was clear to Jeff that the heat was on.
有时候，杰夫很清楚，事情已经开始了。
The FBI had visited him.
联邦调查局曾拜访过他。
He now knew that extreme consequences were attaching to our actions, and the only thing that came to his mind during that time was to continue to tell me to lie and put myself at risk.
他现在知道我们的行为会带来极端的后果，那段时间他脑子里唯一想到的就是继续让我撒谎，让自己处于危险之中。
I mean, what if he had said, Steve, I love you, you're my best friend, I can't ask you to do this anymore, I'm going to go talk to these people and see what I can get done?
我的意思是，如果他说，史蒂夫，我爱你，你是我最好的朋友，我不能再要求你这样做了，我要去和这些人谈谈，看看我能做什么？
He never said that.
他从来没有这么说过。
All he could tell me to do was lie.
他只能告诉我撒谎。
I understand why he would feel betrayed by that.
我理解为什么他会因此感到被背叛。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, it was not a good moment for me, you know?
我的意思是，这对我来说不是一个好时机，你知道吗？
Why didn't you tell him that, though, do you think?
你觉得你为什么不告诉他呢？
Don't worry-- protect yourself, basically?
别担心——基本上保护自己吧？
Talk to the Feds if you need to, et cetera?
如果需要，可以与联邦调查局联系，等等？
Alex, man, if you talked to 1,000 people in the world that were in a situation at all similar to what I was in-- and you asked 1,000 of them-- tell me the truth, why didn't you go to one of the only other people that could've gotten you, and go to the Feds, and just tell them whatever it was-- I don't think you're going to find many of those 1,000 that will honestly tell you-- yeah, I should've gone to tell them, hey, go to the Feds, and tell them anything, everything that happened.
亚历克斯，伙计，如果你和世界上 1,000 个处境与我相似的人交谈——你问了其中的 1,000 个人——告诉我真相，为什么你不去找唯一能找到你的人之一，然后去找联邦调查局，告诉他们无论是什么情况——我认为你不会在这 1,000 个人中找到很多会诚实地告诉你的——是的，我应该去告诉他们，嘿，去联邦调查局，告诉他们发生的一切。
I just don't think you're going to see that much.
我只是认为你不会看到那么多。
I mean, you feel like you're hunted prey when the Feds come knocking on your door at 6:30 in the morning.
我的意思是，当联邦调查局早上 6:30 来敲你的门时，你会感觉自己像是被追捕的猎物。
And you're right.
你是对的。
Of course I should have been like, Steve, you do what you need to do.
当然，我应该说，史蒂夫，你做你需要做的事。
But I felt sort of like-- we had made this agreement long ago, and for any one of us to go soft now was to get us all into trouble.
但我感觉有点像——我们很久以前就达成了这一协议，如果我们中的任何一个人现在表现得软弱，就会给我们所有人带来麻烦。
I mean, the way we talk about it, it's like there were six dead bodies in vacant houses somewhere.
我的意思是，按照我们谈论的方式，就好像某处的空房子里有六具尸体。
I mean, it's just so silly.
我的意思是，这太愚蠢了。
I just didn't feel that compelled to say to Steve at that point, we need to let them know everything.
我只是觉得没有必要对史蒂夫说，我们需要让他们知道一切。
In the year since Jeff was released from prison, he's managed to put his life together.
杰夫出狱后的这一年里，他成功地重新开始了自己的生活。
He got married, had a kid, landed a job teaching Public Policy at the New School in New York City.
他结了婚，生了一个孩子，并在纽约市的新学校找到了一份教授公共政策的工作。
He's written a book, although he still needs a publisher.
他写了一本书，尽管他仍然需要出版商。
Steve Brown has found it a bit more difficult.
史蒂夫·布朗发现这有点困难。
He still has his wife and his children, but he can't practice law more, can't do politics, and has yet to successfully transition to a new career.
他还有妻子和孩子，但不能更多地从事法律工作，不能从政，也尚未成功过渡到新的职业。
It's tough to do in your mid-40s.
四十多岁的人很难做到这一点。
They both say they've moved on from this.
他们都说他们已经摆脱了这个困境。
Neither wishes the other ill.
双方都不希望对方生病。
But the two men haven't spoken since the day Jeff found out that Steve was wearing a wire.
但自从杰夫发现史蒂夫戴着电线那天起，这两个人就没有说过话。
Betrayal-- it's a hard sin to forgive.
背叛——这是一种难以原谅的罪过。
Alex Blumberg is a producer for our show, often heard on the Planet Money podcast.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格 (Alex Blumberg) 是我们节目的制片人，经常在 Planet Money 播客上听到他的声音。
Coming up-- the intoxicating effect of guns, spying, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
即将推出——枪支、间谍活动和忍者神龟的令人陶醉的效果。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's program, "Mortal versus Venial." We have stories of people trying to figure out just how bad they are.
今天的节目是“凡人与小人”。我们有这样的故事：人们试图弄清楚自己到底有多糟糕。
How bad is bad?
坏到什么程度才算坏呢？
We've arrived at act two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two.
第二幕。
The Disenchanted Forest.
幻灭森林。
So lying is a sin, right, and lying to ourselves is also wrong.
所以说谎是一种罪，是对的，对自己说谎也是错的。
But what about the lies that we all collectively believe because they make us feel better, they give us hope?
但是我们大家都相信的那些谎言呢？因为它们让我们感觉更好，给我们希望？
How bad are those?
这些有多糟糕？
Mortal, venial?
凡人，仁慈吗？
Less than venial?
还不够温和吗？
Jonathan Goldstein has this story about confronting the truth.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦有一个关于面对真相的故事。
[GAVEL POUNDING] Jonathan Goldstein Honorable animals of the Forest Council-- Secretary Otter and Chairman Skunk-- I'm sorry, but I must interrupt.
[木槌敲击]乔纳森·戈德斯坦 尊敬的森林委员会动物们——奥特部长和臭鼬主席——我很抱歉，但我必须打断一下。
I know that time is of the essence, so I will keep my remarks brief.
我知道时间非常宝贵，所以我的发言将保持简短。
I stand before you not an arrogant hare, nor a flashy hare, as some of you would have it, but merely a hare who cares about this forest and all of its creatures.
我站在你们面前，不是一只傲慢的野兔，也不是你们中有些人所想象的一只浮夸的野兔，而只是一只关心这片森林和其中所有生物的野兔。
I've not coming here to cast aspersions on the tortoise.
我来这里不是为了诽谤乌龟的。
This is not a time for partisanship.
现在不是党派之争的时候。
Whether you be a hare man or a tortoise man, we must all work together.
无论你是兔子人还是乌龟人，我们都必须共同努力。
But to save the forest from its impending doom, it's important you know the truth about the race known as tortoise versus hare.
但为了拯救森林免遭即将到来的厄运，了解龟兔赛跑的真相非常重要。
Look, I know how this makes me look.
听着，我知道这让我看起来怎么样。
"The hare is a poor loser," you say.
“兔子是一个可怜的失败者，”你说。
"The hare has a problem with tortoises." Well, I'm going to stop you right there.
“兔子和乌龟有问题。”好吧，我就在那里阻止你。
Let the record show that I have nothing against turtles of any kind.
让记录表明我并不反对任何种类的海龟。
The snapping turtle is godfather to 27 of my kids, for crying out loud.
鳄龟是我 27 个孩子的教父，因为它们大声哭闹。
But if you think there is any chance that tortoise beat me fair and square, you are deluding yourselves.
但如果你认为乌龟有可能光明正大地打败我，那你就自欺欺人了。
Tortoises don't have a reputation for being slow.
乌龟并不以行动迟缓而闻名。
They are slow.
他们很慢。
Everyone knows this.
每个人都知道这一点。
It's not a question.
这不是一个问题。
It's not debatable.
这是没有争议的。
It just is.
确实如此。
So imagine my surprise when one morning, I wake up to discover the entire forest is talking about how I challenged the tortoise to a race.
因此，想象一下，当有一天早上，我醒来发现整个森林都在谈论我如何向乌龟挑战赛跑时，我会感到多么惊讶。
Think about it.
想一想。
Why would a hare challenge a tortoise to a race?
为什么兔子要挑战乌龟赛跑？
It doesn't make any sense.
这没有任何意义。
What would it prove?
能证明什么？
If I win, I'm ass[BLEEP].
如果我赢了，我就完蛋了[BLEEP]。
If I lose, I'm an embarrassment to my species.
如果我输了，我就是我的种族的耻辱。
Oh, how I was vilified after that race.
哦，那场比赛后我是多么受到诽谤。
In the picture they ran on the cover of the Forest Post, I'm pulling my whiskers out, stomping on my top hat and yelling at a judging official.
在他们刊登在《森林邮报》封面上的照片中，我拔出了胡须，跺着我的大礼帽，并对裁判大喊大叫。
There I was, the arrogant bucktoothed hare with the fabulous libido that everyone loves to hate, finally receiving his comeuppance.
我，一只傲慢的龅牙兔，有着让人又爱又恨的神话般的性欲，终于得到了报应。
And the lies that we're told about the race itself.
以及我们被告知的关于比赛本身的谎言。
Why would I stop just shy of the finish line and eat a large turkey dinner with all of the trimmings?
为什么我会在接近终点线的时候停下来吃一顿丰盛的火鸡大餐呢？
Or why would I pull out a beach chair and take a suntanning break?
或者为什么我要拉出沙滩椅来享受日光浴呢？
First of all, I burn easily.
首先，我很容易烧伤。
And second, what am I, an idiot?
其次，我是个白痴吗？
In the days after the race, when I put forth my multiple tortoises in multiple forest nooks theory, I was labeled a paranoid, a conspiracy nut, not to mention a speceist for suggesting that tortoises all look the same.
比赛结束后的几天里，当我在多个森林角落理论中提出我的多只乌龟时，我被贴上了偏执狂、阴谋论狂的标签，更不用说因为我认为所有乌龟看起来都一样而成为一个物种主义者。
But I knew then, as I know now, that there was a network of them-- tortoises, all working in cahoots, stationed behind trees, hiding in briar patches, all along the racing route.
但我当时就知道，正如我现在所知道的那样，它们有一个网络——乌龟，所有的乌龟都串通一气，驻扎在树后，躲在荆棘丛中，沿着比赛路线。
Nonetheless, the tortoise was awarded the title of fastest in the forest, and I had no choice but to shake his wrinkled little green hand and congratulate him.
尽管如此，乌龟还是被授予了森林里跑得最快的称号，我只好握着他布满皱纹的绿色小手，向他表示祝贺。
But dear fellow forest dwellers, back to the business at hand of this emergency meeting.
但是亲爱的森林居民同胞们，让我们回到本次紧急会议的正事上来。
As Smokey Bear alerted us this morning, the forest is burning.
正如烟熊今天早上提醒我们的那样，森林正在燃烧。
Time is of the essence.
时间至关重要。
With all due respect to the authority of this council, sending the tortoise as messenger to alert the creatures of these woods that there's a fire raging, and they must run for their lives-- not the best choice in the world.
尊重议会的权威，派遣乌龟作为信使，警告森林里的生物，火灾正在肆虐，他们必须逃命——这不是世界上最好的选择。
The tortoise left three hours ago, but if you rise up onto your toes, you can still see him, creeping along down there at the bottom of the hill.
乌龟三小时前就离开了，但如果你站起来，你仍然可以看到它在山脚下爬行。
So he cheated, and normally I would let this go.
所以他作弊了，通常我都会放过这件事。
Who among us has not to cheated at one time or another?
我们当中谁不曾被欺骗过呢？
Possum has cheated at checkers.
负鼠在跳棋比赛中作弊了。
Fox has cheated on his taxes.
福克斯偷税漏税了。
And I'm the first to admit that because of my own arrogance, I've cheated myself out of your friendship.
我首先承认，由于我自己的傲慢，我欺骗了自己，失去了你们的友谊。
And I've also cheated with some of your wives.
我还和你的一些妻子出过轨。
But the point is, we can no longer let this tortoise charade go on.
但关键是，我们不能再让这种乌龟游戏继续下去了。
If we don't do something now, lives will be lost.
如果我们现在不采取行动，就会失去生命。
So just give me the OK to get running, and as soon as I pick up my top hat at the blocker's, fill my jogging pipe with tobacco, eat a light dinner of sprouts and Tam Tam crackers, and get my retainer inserted, I'll be on my way.
所以只要允许我开始跑步，只要我在拦路者处拿起我的高顶帽子，在我的慢跑烟斗里装满烟草，吃一顿豆芽和 Tam Tam 饼干的清淡晚餐，然后戴上我的保持器，我就会上路。
All in favor, say aye.
大家都赞成，说好。
For the love of this forest and all that is good, please say aye.
为了对这片森林和一切美好事物的热爱，请说“是”。
Jonathan Goldstein.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦。
His story about the tortoise and the hare is itself based on a retelling of the Aesop's fable by the 18th baron of Dunsany, Edward Plunkett.
他关于龟兔赛跑的故事本身是基于邓塞尼第十八代男爵爱德华·普朗克特对《伊索寓言》的复述。
Jonathan is the host of the CBC radio show and podcast Wiretap, which you can hear on many public radio stations and you can get from the iTunes store, where a version of this story first ran.
乔纳森 (Jonathan) 是 CBC 广播节目和播客 Wiretap 的主持人，您可以在许多公共广播电台收听该节目，也可以从 iTunes 商店获取该节目，该故事的一个版本就是在该商店首次播放的。
So because the line between a mortal and a venial sin can be kind of hazy, sometimes the only way to know exactly where the line is, is just to test it.
因此，因为凡人与小罪之间的界限可能有点模糊，有时要确切知道界限在哪里的唯一方法就是测试它。
And that is particularly true when you're little.
当你还小的时候尤其如此。
Where your parents set the line-- well, sometimes you need to figure out if you agree with your parents on where that line is.
你的父母在哪里划定了界限——好吧，有时你需要弄清楚你是否同意你父母的界限。
Jonathan Menjivar tells a story about a time that he tested that line.
乔纳森·门吉瓦尔 (Jonathan Menjivar) 讲述了一个关于他测试该线路的故事。
When I was in junior high, I spent a lot of time with this kid Tommy.
当我上初中时，我花了很多时间和汤米这个孩子在一起。
That's not his real name.
那不是他的真名。
We went to the same school, but we ran in different circles.
我们上同一所学校，却跑在不同的圈子。
And then we started hanging out in Boy Scouts, and Tommy scared the hell out of me.
然后我们开始参加童子军，汤米把我吓坏了。
I came from a strict household.
我来自一个严格的家庭。
Not violent strict, but come here.
不是暴力严格，而是来这里。
Take a close look at these cabinets and tell me you don't see the dust, kind of strict.
仔细看看这些柜子，告诉我你没有看到灰尘，有点严格。
So I was obedient and stuck to the rules.
所以我很听话，遵守规则。
Tommy was like my real-life after school special.
汤米就像我现实生活中的放学后特别节目。
He did all the stupid things I knew I had to avoid if I didn't want to get in trouble, or end up hurt.
他做了所有我知道如果我不想惹上麻烦或最终受到伤害就必须避免的愚蠢事情。
We all had BMX bikes, but Tommy was the only one who would try crazy jumps.
我们都有小轮车，但汤米是唯一一个会尝试疯狂跳跃的人。
He lifted weights and got bad grades.
他举重但成绩很差。
Tommy's house was the first place I saw porn, and a gun.
汤米的房子是我第一个看到色情片和枪的地方。
We were in his parents' bedroom, and he pulled his dad's pistol out of a nightstand drawer and tried to show me how to load it.
我们在他父母的卧室里，他从床头柜抽屉里拿出他父亲的手枪，并试图向我展示如何装弹。
I left the room before the next scene of this very obvious plot could unfold.
在这个非常明显的情节的下一个场景展开之前，我离开了房间。
The miracle of Tommy was that he got away with things.
汤米的奇迹在于他逃脱了惩罚。
He didn't get caught and he didn't get hurt.
他没有被抓住，也没有受伤。
At least, not that bad.
至少，没那么糟糕。
When I was with him, the world seemed bigger.
和他在一起的时候，我觉得世界更大了。
He was always blowing right past boundaries that I didn't even know how to approach.
他总是突破我什至不知道如何接近的界限。
One day Tommy told me he had a huge crush on a neighbor who lived across the street from him-- this married woman who was pretty in a metal video kind of way.
有一天，汤米告诉我，他非常迷恋住在他街对面的一位邻居，这位已婚妇女在金属视频中非常漂亮。
She was blonde with that super-short haircut Demi Moore had in ghost, and Tommy said he'd seen her naked.
她金发碧眼，留着黛米·摩尔鬼魂中的超短发，汤米说他见过她裸体。
He told me that sometimes at night, he'd get all dressed up in black clothes and sneak out of his house so he could look in her bathroom window.
他告诉我，有时在晚上，他会穿上黑衣服，偷偷溜出家门，这样他就可以往她浴室的窗户里看。
He said he'd seen her come out of the shower.
他说他看见她洗完澡出来。
To me, the whole thing seemed more frightening than sexy.
对我来说，整件事似乎更可怕而不是性感。
And wrong.
错了。
Tommy didn't seem to have that problem.
汤米似乎没有这个问题。
So Tommy came to my house for a sleepover.
于是汤米来到我家过夜。
I think we'd stopped using that word, but that's what it was.
我想我们已经不再使用这个词了，但事实就是如此。
I was used to putting on my pajamas at 6:00 and settling in for the night.
我习惯于 6:00 穿上睡衣并安顿下来过夜。
Tommy showed up with a duffel bag and came into my room, clearly prepared for something else.
汤米带着一个行李袋出现，走进我的房间，显然是准备去做别的事情了。
He shut my bedroom door, opened the bag, and pulled out all these homemade weapons he'd made in his dad's garage.
他关上我卧室的门，打开袋子，拿出他在他父亲的车库里制作的所有自制武器。
There were several foot-long swords made from pieces of sheet metal with little wood handles, and a weapon called a sai, like the one the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Raphael used.
有几把一英尺长的剑，由金属片制成，带有小木柄，还有一种叫做“sai”的武器，就像忍者神龟拉斐尔使用的那样。
God, I loved Raphael.
天哪，我爱拉斐尔。
Anyhow, Tommy took all the weapons and stuffed them in between my mattress and box spring, and pretended like it was all totally normal.
不管怎样，汤米拿走了所有的武器，把它们塞到我的床垫和弹簧床之间，假装一切都很正常。
Which I did, too.
我也这么做了。
Then we did your standard sleepover stuff-- baked some pizza or whatever-- and I fell asleep watching Saturday Night Live.
然后我们做了标准的过夜活动——烤了一些披萨或其他什么——然后我看着《周六夜现场》睡着了。
A little after midnight, Tommy woke me up.
午夜过后不久，汤米叫醒了我。
He said it was time for night maneuvers.
他说现在是夜间演习的时间了。
Night maneuvers was this game Tommy and a friend had made up where they'd basically taken all the things we were into-- role playing games, and Atari, and ninjas-- and they tried to make them real.
夜间演习是汤米和一个朋友制作的这款游戏，他们基本上吸收了我们所感兴趣的所有东西——角色扮演游戏、雅达利游戏和忍者——他们试图让它们变得真实。
They would dress up at night in black and run these little missions around the neighborhood, sneaking around and sometimes going into people's yards to see what could be seen.
他们会在晚上穿上黑色衣服，在附近执行这些小任务，偷偷摸摸，有时甚至进入人们的院子里看看能看到什么。
That was night maneuvers.
那是夜间演习。
We snuck out my bedroom window and ran from shadow to shadow on my street, hiding behind cars and bushes so no one would spot us.
我们偷偷溜出卧室的窗户，在街道上从一个阴影跑到另一个阴影，躲在汽车和灌木丛后面，这样就不会有人发现我们。
We were both wearing black.
我们都穿着黑色衣服。
Tommy was the one wearing a backpack with swords in it.
汤米背着背包，里面装着剑。
My heart was racing, but it wasn't actually fun.
我的心在狂跳，但实际上并不有趣。
We hadn't gone far-- we were still on my street, just a few houses away-- and I was sure we'd get caught.
我们并没有走多远——我们还在我住的街道上，只有几栋房子的距离——我确信我们会被抓住。
Each time we went for it, we had to run through these big, bright spots from the streetlights, and then crouch down again.
每次我们去的时候，我们都必须跑过这些路灯下的大而明亮的地方，然后再次蹲下。
Every time I would hesitate and fumble, thinking, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad, I'm going to get caught, I'm going to get caught, I'm going to get caught-- it never got easier.
每次我都会犹豫和摸索，心想，这不好，这不好，这不好，我要被抓住了，我要被抓住了，我要被抓住了——事情从来没有这么容易过。
But Tommy did it with grace, like this was his Olympic sport.
但汤米做得很优雅，就像这是他的奥林匹克运动一样。
We went down the street, snuck around in the backyard of a friend of mine, and then jumped the fence and ended up near these railroad tracks where there weren't any streetlights.
我们沿着街道，偷偷溜进我一个朋友的后院，然后跳过栅栏，最后来到了没有路灯的铁轨附近。
Finally, a place where no one was going to see us.
终于到了一个没有人会看到我们的地方。
We were safe.
我们很安全。
And for the first time, I felt just how incredible what we were doing really was.
我第一次感觉到我们所做的事情是多么令人难以置信。
Here at night, letting my eyes adjust to the dark, looking up and seeing whatever little stars were there-- it was completely serene in a way I didn't know was possible.
晚上在这里，让我的眼睛适应黑暗，抬头看看那里有什么小星星——这是完全宁静的，我不知道这是可能的。
I don't think there's anything I could do right now that would give me the sense of confidence and possibility that I felt then.
我认为我现在无法做任何事情来给我当时所感受到的自信和可能性。
Being outside like that with no one to watch over me-- I thought that that's what it must feel like to be a grown-up.
就这样在外面，没人看管我——我想这就是作为一个成年人的感觉吧。
The air felt good in my lungs, the night wide open.
夜色开阔，空气在我的肺部感觉良好。
I watched Tommy jump into a couple yards and peer through sliding glass doors.
我看着汤米跳进几码远，透过滑动玻璃门往外看。
From where I stood, safe on the other side of a cinderblock wall, Tommy didn't seem to have superhuman calm or ninja moves anymore.
从我站的地方来看，汤米似乎不再有超人的冷静或忍者动作了，安全地站在煤渣砖墙的另一边。
He was just a dumbass kid, out at night, looking for things to get away with.
他只是个傻孩子，晚上出去寻找可以逃避惩罚的事情。
Same as me.
和我一样。
I thought he'd probably never even seen his neighbor naked.
我想他可能从来没有见过他邻居的裸体。
We started heading back to my house, and then something happened that sobered me up.
我们开始回我家，然后发生了一些事情让我清醒了过来。
It separated the Tommys from the Jonathans.
它将汤米家族与乔纳森家族分开。
We got near a streetlight and decided to duck behind a car.
我们走到路灯附近，决定躲在一辆车后面。
From the driveway, we could see a man watching TV in his living room.
从车道上，我们可以看到一个男人在客厅里看电视。
It wasn't long before the man took his eyes off the TV and noticed us.
没过多久，那个人就把目光从电视上移开，注意到了我们。
Tommy yelled at me to run, but, you know, I'm chicken, so I just stood there while the man caught us and screamed at us, saying, whatever we'd done to his car, we were going to pay for.
汤米对我大喊让我跑，但是，你知道，我是胆小鬼，所以当那个人抓住我们并对我们尖叫时，我只是站在那里，说，无论我们对他的车做了什么，我们都要付出代价。
I was sure we were going to pay heavily.
我确信我们会付出高昂的代价。
Then the man looked into my eyes and said the most frightening words I'd ever heard-- "I know who your parents are." He let me stew in the fear for a while, then he let us go.
然后那个男人看着我的眼睛，说出了我听过的最可怕的话——“我知道你的父母是谁。”他让我在恐惧中煎熬了一会儿，然后就让我们走了。
We ran back to my house and snuck into my bedroom through the windows.
我们跑回我家，从窗户溜进我的卧室。
It was like everything we'd just done was rewound back onto the tape, never to be heard again.
就好像我们刚刚所做的一切都倒带回磁带上，再也听不到了。
I crawled into bed and felt my heart try to escape my chest for a good half hour.
我爬到床上，感觉我的心试图逃离我的胸腔，足有半个小时。
Tommy fell asleep right away.
汤米立刻就睡着了。
That night was the first and last time I tried night maneuvers-- the last time I tried anything, really.
那天晚上是我第一次也是最后一次尝试夜间演习——真的是我最后一次尝试任何事情。
I never TP'ed anyone's house.
我从来没有TP过任何人的房子。
I didn't drink until I was in college.
我直到上大学才喝酒。
I wasn't even tempted.
我什至没有受到诱惑。
Was something a little bit bad, really bad?
是不是有些事情有点糟糕，真的很糟糕？
I didn't care anymore.
我不再关心了。
Either way, I knew I didn't have the stomach for it.
不管怎样，我知道我没有那个胃口。
And I was totally OK with that.
我对此完全同意。
Jonathan Menjivar is a producer for our program.
乔纳森·门吉瓦尔 (Jonathan Menjivar) 是我们节目的制片人。
[MUSIC - "UP TO NO GOOD" BY THE HARVEY SWAGGER BAND]
[音乐 - 哈维·斯威格乐队的《Up To No Good》]
Well, our program was produced today by Jonathan Menjivar with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sarah Koenig, Lisa Pollak, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Jonathan Menjivar 与 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Sarah Koenig、Lisa Pollak、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Seth Lind is our production manager, Emily Condon is our office manager.
Seth Lind 是我们的生产经理，Emily Condon 是我们的办公室经理。
Production help from Matt Kielty.
马特·基尔蒂 (Matt Kielty) 提供制作帮助。
Scouting help from [UNINTELLIGIBLE] Baker, music help from Damien Graef and Rob Geddes.
[无法理解] Baker 提供球探帮助，Damien Graef 和 Rob Geddes 提供音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGMENTS] Our website, where you can get tickets to our May 10 cinema event, coming up soon-- if you've heard about me talking about this already, ad infinitum, you know that we are doing our show onstage.
[致谢] 我们的网站，您可以在其中获得 5 月 10 日电影活动的门票，该活动即将推出 - 如果您已经听说过我已经无限谈论过这个问题，您就知道我们正在舞台上表演。
We're beaming it into movie theaters everywhere.
我们正在将其传送到各地的电影院。
We've added David Sedaris to the all-star lineup.
我们已将大卫·塞达里斯纳入全明星阵容。
David Sedaris now joins Mike Birbiglia, David Rakoff, Tig Notaro, Snap Judgment's Glynn Washington and others.
David Sedaris 现在加入了 Mike Birbiglia、David Rakoff、Tig Notaro、Snap Judgement 的 Glynn Washington 等人的行列。
This, I say in all sincerity, is the most ambitious live event we've ever done, filled with things designed for you to see.
我真诚地说，这是我们举办过的最雄心勃勃的现场活动，充满了专为您设计的东西。
Animation, dancing.
动画、舞蹈。
Tickets are going fast.
门票进展很快。
It's one night only, May 10.
5月10日，只有一晚。
Find a movie theater near you at thisamericanlife.org.
在 thisamericanlife.org 上查找您附近的电影院。
American
美国
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia, who sees all the long hours that we put in here in the radio show, and asks me all the time--
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行 WBEZ 管理监督，他看到我们在广播节目中投入的所有时间，并一直问我——
What are you running away from?
你在逃避什么？
Why don't you just settle down and have a normal life?
为什么不安定下来过正常的生活呢？
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。