457: What I Did For Love - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #457 | February 10, 2012 457: What I Did For Love Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 457 集 | 2012 年 2 月 10 日 457：我为爱做了什么 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
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如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass I've known Kristy a few years.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 我认识克里斯蒂已有几年了。
And she's been going through a rough time.
她正在经历一段艰难的时期。
When her boyfriend dumped her, she wanted to do something.
当她的男朋友抛弃了她时，她想做点什么。
She wasn't over him.
她并没有超过他。
And she had all these feelings.
她有所有这些感受。
And it's hard to just sit there.
坐在那里很难。
And she thought about standing outside of his window and serenading him.
她想到站在他的窗外为他唱小夜曲。
She's a singer.
她是一名歌手。
That's her job.
那是她的工作。
She sings.
她唱歌。
But she actually had tried serenading a guy once.
但她实际上曾经尝试过为一个男人唱小夜曲。
That really didn't work out.
那确实没有成功。
I would like to say, as a woman, I believe there is a serenade double standard.
我想说，作为一个女人，我相信小夜曲存在双重标准。
Where it's kind of OK for a man to go throw a rock at a window, but when a woman does it, it's sort of like, call the police.
男人向窗户扔石头没什么问题，但如果女人这么做，那就有点像报警了。
There's a singer/songwriter on my lawn.
我的草坪上有一位歌手/词曲作者。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass And she didn't want to be a crazy person, right?
Ira Glass：她不想成为一个疯狂的人，对吧？
She didn't want to stalk him.
她不想跟踪他。
She didn't want to bother him.
她不想打扰他。
But like I say, she had all these feelings.
但就像我说的，她有所有这些感受。
So she wrote him a letter every day that she did not send.
于是她每天给他写一封信，但她没有寄出。
And she started collecting stuff that she knew that he would like.
她开始收集她知道他会喜欢的东西。
And she kept it.
她保留了它。
She just kept it in a box underneath her bed.
她只是把它放在床下的一个盒子里。
She's also got food for him in her freezer, these pastries that he likes that she saw and couldn't help buying for him.
她的冰箱里还为他准备了食物，这些他喜欢的糕点，她看到了就忍不住买给他。
And she knows that he doesn't want to get any of this stuff from her.
她知道他不想从她这里得到任何这些东西。
So what is she collecting this stuff for?
那么她收集这些东西是为了什么？
She has no idea.
她不知道。
Finally, she figured out a way to reach out to him that she thought might be appropriate.
最后，她想出了一个她认为可能合适的联系他的方法。
Including phone pranks.
包括电话恶作剧。
And so Kristy explained to me that as she would drive around the country from one music gig to the next, she tried to do something that she thought would talk to that part of his personality.
因此克里斯蒂向我解释说，当她开车环游全国从一场音乐演出到下一场演出时，她试图做一些她认为能与他性格的一部分相呼应的事情。
I started writing his number on bathroom walls across the United States.
我开始在美国各地的浴室墙上写下他的电话号码。
What?
什么？
Kristy Kruger Yeah, I started writing on bathroom walls, "Ladies, please help me out.
克里斯蒂·克鲁格 是的，我开始在浴室的墙上写下：“女士们，请帮帮我。
I really want my man back.
我真的很想要我的男人回来。
Please call--" and then I put his number.
请打电话——”然后我输入了他的电话号码。
"And tell him his chalupa really misses him."
“并告诉他他的查鲁帕真的很想念他。”
And then I wrote, "Say your city and state, please."
然后我写道：“请说出您所在的城市和州。”
I see.
我懂了。
Because you knew that he doesn't want to see you, so you don't want to be calling him.
因为你知道他不想见你，所以你不想给他打电话。
That would be clearly out of bounds.
这显然是越界的。
Right.
正确的。
That's how I cleared myself of that, by having other women call and text him.
这就是我通过让其他女人给他打电话和发短信来清除自己的烦恼的方法。
Is it possible, though, if he doesn't want to hear from you, that this is even worse?
但是，如果他不想收到你的消息，情况是否有可能更糟？
Well, and that's eventually what happened.
好吧，这就是最终发生的事情。
Two months later, I received a very cold, dry text.
两个月后，我收到了一封非常冰冷、干巴巴的短信。
"I hope you're doing OK.
“我希望你一切都好。
But please knock it off with the bathroom walls.
但请用浴室的墙壁把它敲掉。
Desist with this."
别这样了。”
Yeah.
是的。
So Kristy tried a more constructive route.
于是克里斯蒂尝试了一条更有建设性的路线。
She started to learn these sad, old country songs, Floyd Tillman and Hank Williams.
她开始学习弗洛伊德·蒂尔曼和汉克·威廉姆斯这些悲伤、古老的乡村歌曲。
And she formed a cover band to play them that she calls, The Town Criers-- get it?
她还组建了一支翻唱乐队来演奏他们，她称之为“The Town Criers”——明白了吗？
Town Criers-- in Denton, Texas, where she lives.
Town Criers——她居住的德克萨斯州丹顿。
I asked her to send me one of those songs, and they are really, really sad.
我让她寄给我其中一首歌曲，它们真的非常非常悲伤。
[MUSIC PLAYING] All of the stuff that Kristy has done since the breakup-- recording this music, playing the prank, buying all that stuff for her boyfriend-- she says she just can't help herself.
[音乐播放] 克里斯蒂在分手后所做的所有事情——录制音乐、恶作剧、为男友购买所有这些东西——她说她就是无法控制自己。
She still has feelings, and she just has to act.
她还有感情，她只需要行动。
I was raised that you can always get what you want out of life, you just have to work hard.
我从小就知道，只要努力工作，你总能从生活中得到你想要的东西。
And my dad never really explained to me that that didn't apply to love.
我父亲从来没有真正向我解释过这不适用于爱情。
Well, today on our radio program, we hear people try all kinds of things, work hard in all kinds of ways for love.
嗯，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们听到人们为了爱尝试各种事情，以各种方式努力工作。
Including, I have to say, a few ways that I bet you have never heard of.
我不得不说，其中包括一些我敢打赌你从未听说过的方法。
And they do it because they just can not stop themselves.
他们这样做是因为他们无法阻止自己。
Like every country song ever written would tell you, they've got no choice.
就像每首乡村歌曲都会告诉你的那样，他们别无选择。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
It's a special Valentine's Day edition of our show, "What I Did For Love." I'm Ira Glass.
这是我们节目“我为爱所做的事”的情人节特别版。我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Kristy Kruger.
克里斯蒂·克鲁格。
Act One, The Best Laid Plans.
第一幕，最佳计划。
When you hear what this first couple did for love, I think one of the things that is most incredible about it is the kind of couple they were when they did it, which is a really great couple.
当你听到第一对夫妇为爱所做的事情时，我认为最令人难以置信的事情之一就是他们这样做时的样子，这是一对非常伟大的夫妇。
We were always like the most solid of all the relationships of our friends and everything like that.
我们总是像所有朋友关系中最牢固的那样。
Kurt Braunohler met his girlfriend on the third day of college.
科特·布劳诺勒在大学第三天遇到了他的女朋友。
And in all of the ways that we think of what makes for a good relationship, I think that they were doing better than you, or me, or most people.
在我们思考如何建立良好关系的所有方面，我认为他们都比你、我或大多数人做得更好。
They had a lot of fun together.
他们在一起玩得很开心。
They could talk about anything.
他们可以谈论任何事情。
They didn't really fight.
他们并没有真正打架。
Happy sex life.
快乐的性生活。
We really just got along very well together.
我们真的相处得很好。
We traveled well together.
我们一起旅行得很开心。
We were the place that friends would come when they are having hard times, and they would stay with us.
我们是朋友遇到困难时会来的地方，他们会和我们在一起。
It felt like very adult.
感觉非常成熟。
Even when I was 23, it felt like, I'm kind of married, even though neither of us had ever, ever discussed getting married.
即使在我 23 岁的时候，我也感觉自己已经结婚了，尽管我们从来没有讨论过结婚的事。
So what happened?
那么发生了什么？
Kurt Braunohler Well, after we had both turned 30, one day I just kind of was thinking about why we had never talked about getting married.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 嗯，在我们都年满 30 岁之后，有一天我在思考为什么我们从未谈论过结婚。
We had never, ever talked about it, seriously or otherwise.
我们从来没有认真地或以其他方式谈论过它。
And whenever anyone would ask us, we would always just kind of brush it off and say, oh, we'll get married when we have kids.
每当有人问我们时，我们总是会不屑一顾并说，哦，我们有了孩子就结婚。
That's what we would always say.
这就是我们常说的。
And I remember, we were sitting in the living room and it was October.
我记得，当时是十月，我们坐在客厅里。
And I just said, hey, I want to talk.
我只是说，嘿，我想谈谈。
And I said, why do you think we haven't gotten married yet, or even talked about it?
我说，你认为我们为什么还没有结婚，甚至没有谈论过这件事？
And she just kind of like looked at me and thought for a second.
她只是看着我，想了一会儿。
And then she said, well, I think that before we get married, we should probably sleep with other people.
然后她说，好吧，我认为在我们结婚之前，我们应该和其他人睡。
And you would imagine that that would come as a huge shock to me, like hit me hard.
你会想象这对我来说是一个巨大的震惊，就像对我的沉重打击。
But for some reason it made sense to me.
但出于某种原因，这对我来说是有意义的。
I was like, OK, very calmly.
我当时想，好吧，非常平静。
And I guess the reason--
我猜原因是——
I've thought a lot about this.
我对此想了很多。
And I think that there's a few reasons.
我认为有几个原因。
We both had this kind of arrogant notion of our relationship, that it could survive literally anything.
我们都对我们的关系抱有一种傲慢的观念，认为它可以经受住任何事情的考验。
We had known each other our whole adult lives.
我们成年后就已经认识了。
We were each other's world.
我们就是彼此的世界。
So really, I don't think we thought that we could destroy this thing.
所以说真的，我认为我们不认为我们可以摧毁这个东西。
I talked to the girlfriend who did not want to come on the radio.
我和不想上广播的女朋友谈过。
And she said, basically, that she had only had two boyfriends in her life, her high school boyfriend, who was not a good boyfriend at all, and Kurt, who was great.
她说，基本上，她一生中只有两个男朋友，一个是她的高中男友，他根本不是一个好男朋友，另一个是库尔特，他很棒。
But she met Kurt, she said, when she was 17.
但她说，当她 17 岁时，她遇到了科特。
She was 30 when this happened.
这件事发生时她已经30岁了。
And she said that she felt like maybe she missed out on something in her twenties, experiences that other people had.
她说她觉得自己可能错过了二十多岁时的一些东西，错过了其他人所拥有的经历。
And she didn't want to regret that.
她不想后悔。
A warning, I should say, before we go any further in this story.
在我们进一步讨论这个故事之前，我应该说一个警告。
We're going to acknowledge the existence of sex between adults.
我们将承认成年人之间性的存在。
Nothing explicit.
没有什么明确的。
So they sat on the couch, and they talked this through.
于是他们坐在沙发上，讨论了这个问题。
The next part of that conversation was the logistics.
谈话的下一部分是后勤工作。
Do we break up?
我们分手吗？
Do I move out?
我要搬出去吗？
Do we just do this while we're living in the same house together?
我们只是在住在同一所房子里时才这样做吗？
And we kind of came up with this idea of borrowing this Amish concept called rumspringa.
我们想出了借用阿米什概念“rumspringa”的想法。
And rumspringa in the Amish world is when you're 16, you're allowed to be not Amish for two years.
阿米什世界的 rumspringa 是指当你年满 16 岁时，你可以在两年内不成为阿米什人。
And then when you turn 18, you decide whether or not you come back to the fold.
然后当你年满 18 岁时，你就可以决定是否重返职场。
And during those two years, kids get drunk.
在那两年里，孩子们喝醉了。
They sleep around.
他们睡在周围。
They try drugs.
他们尝试吸毒。
They do lots of meth.
他们吸食大量冰毒。
Ira Glass They do lots of stuff.
Ira Glass 他们做了很多事情。
So we decided to have a rumspringa from our relationship.
所以我们决定从我们的关系中喝一杯朗姆酒。
And that's the other crazy thing is that we decided that 30 days was enough.
另一件疯狂的事情是我们认为 30 天就足够了。
Because probably within 30 days, sleeping with other people, we'll get that all out of our system in 30 days.
因为可能在 30 天内，与其他人睡觉，我们会在 30 天内将所有这些都从我们的系统中清除。
It turns out, it's really difficult to all of a sudden become single at 31 when you've never been single for your entire life.
事实证明，一辈子都没有单身过的人，31岁突然单身真的很难。
Because all of a sudden, I'm in New York City, and I'm single.
因为突然之间，我来到了纽约，而且我单身了。
And I essentially have the emotional tools of a 17-year-old boy.
我基本上拥有一个 17 岁男孩的情感工具。
Because the last time you had dated, you were 17.
因为你上次约会时才 17 岁。
The last time I dated I was in a dorm room.
上次约会是在宿舍里。
Also, it wasn't like I was single in New York City.
而且，我在纽约也不是单身。
Because being single in New York City is, I think, the majority of it is being just very lonely and being on your own.
我认为，因为在纽约单身，主要是因为非常孤独、独自一人。
Whereas this was very different.
而这却是非常不同的。
I was in a race.
我当时正在参加一场比赛。
I was in a 30-day race to sleep with as many people as I possibly could.
我在 30 天的比赛中与尽可能多的人上床。
Because after 30 days, I was going to go back and then get married.
因为30天后，我要回去然后结婚。
Every single-- it was almost to the minute where I'd just be like, if I wasn't out somewhere trying to meet someone, I was like, this is wasted time.
每一个——几乎到了我就会想，如果我没有出去某个地方试图见某人，我就想，这是浪费时间。
I am wasting my time right now.
我现在正在浪费时间。
And also, because of the fact that we were both-- my girlfriend and I were both very competitive with each other that we didn't speak during that 30 days.
而且，因为我们——我和我女朋友都非常争强好胜，所以我们在那 30 天里没有说话。
But I think in both of our minds, we had a competitive nature of being like, I need to sleep with more people than she does.
但我认为在我们俩的心里，我们都有一种竞争的本性，比如，我需要和比她更多的人上床。
And I think she felt the same way.
我想她也有同样的感觉。
That's true.
这是真的。
She did feel that way.
她确实有这样的感觉。
I asked her.
我问她。
So before they started the rumspringa, they took a last romantic trip together to New Orleans over New Years.
因此，在开始朗姆酒之前，他们一起去新奥尔良度过了最后一次浪漫的新年之旅。
And they had a great time.
他们玩得很开心。
And then on January 3, after they both cried a bit, Kurt moved out for a month.
1 月 3 日，他们都哭了一会儿后，科特搬出去住了一个月。
So suddenly, single at 31, time clock ticking, where do you start?
突然间，31岁了，单身，时钟滴答作响，你该从哪里开始呢？
Well, Kurt called this woman that he knew just a little bit and had a date on the very first or second night.
好吧，库尔特打电话给这个他只认识一点的女人，并在第一或第二天晚上就约会了。
He can't remember which it was.
他不记得那是什么了。
And at dinner, he told her the entire situation.
晚饭的时候，他把整个情况告诉了她。
He laid the whole thing out, that he was seeing somebody, they were taking this break to sleep around.
他把整件事都说了出来，他正在和某人约会，他们趁这个休息时间到处睡觉。
And this was a rule that he made for himself, that he was always going to be honest with any woman that he met during this month.
这是他为自己制定的一条规则，他永远要对这个月遇到的任何女人诚实。
He was going to be honest up front.
他会先说实话。
And that's the weird thing.
这就是奇怪的事情。
That's the thing that I still, kind of when I think back on this time, that I don't understand.
当我回想起来时，这仍然是我不明白的事情。
Like I don't understand how these women that I met during that time heard this story and were like, OK, let's continue with this date.
就像我不明白我在那段时间遇到的这些女人是如何听到这个故事的，然后说，好吧，让我们继续这个约会。
What would they say?
他们会说什么？
Kurt Braunohler I think most of them, the overwhelming response was like, "wow" and "I can't believe you're telling me this."
库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 我想大多数人的反应都是“哇”和“我不敢相信你会告诉我这个。”
Kurt was staying on a futon on a friend's living room floor for the month in this apartment where there was no door between the living room and the bedroom where his friend was sleeping.
库尔特在这间公寓的朋友客厅地板上的蒲团上住了一个月，客厅和他朋友睡觉的卧室之间没有门。
And he brought this woman back on the first date.
第一次约会他就把这个女人带回来了。
And they made out a little bit.
他们亲热了一点。
And then they set another date.
然后他们又定了一个日期。
I think it was probably for the next night or the nine after, something like that.
我想可能是第二天晚上或者九点之后，类似的事情。
And what happens?
会发生什么？
Kurt Braunohler What do you mean?
库尔特·布劳诺勒 你什么意思？
What happens on the date?
约会时会发生什么？
I guess I mean, do you sleep with her?
我想我的意思是，你和她一起睡吗？
Since the whole point of this story is you're trying to sleep with--
因为这个故事的重点是你想和——
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass I mean, suddenly I felt very modest about asking.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）我的意思是，突然间我对提问感到非常谦虚。
But yeah, no.
但是，是的，不。
Yeah.
是的。
Kurt Braunohler Yeah.
库尔特·布劳诺勒 是的。
It was amazing.
太棒了。
It was yeah, totally turned my head around.
是的，我完全转过头来。
It really did feel like having experiences like I would imagine I would have had as a teenager.
确实感觉就像经历了我想象中的青少年时期一样。
Where sex was this very powerful thing and it kind of overwhelmed you.
性是一种非常强大的东西，它让你不知所措。
A day or two after that, he picks up a woman at a bar, something he had never done before in his life.
一两天后，他在酒吧约了一个女人，这是他一生中从未做过的事情。
And he goes home with her.
他和她一起回家。
And from there he's off and running.
从那里他就开始奔跑。
But remember, he has the emotional tools of a 17-year-old.
但请记住，他拥有 17 岁孩子的情感工具。
I was emotionally getting involved with these women.
我在情感上与这些女人打交道。
And that was against one of our rules that we had come up-- my girlfriend and I had had a rule saying, no relationships.
这违反了我们制定的一项规则——我和我女朋友有一条规则说，不能有任何关系。
We don't get into relationships with people.
我们不与人建立关系。
We're just going to go out and sleep with people to see what it's like.
我们只是要出去和人们一起睡觉，看看那是什么样子。
Oh, I see.
我懂了。
But you didn't actually know how to just go out and sleep with somebody without getting emotionally involved.
但你实际上不知道如何在不涉及情感的情况下出去和某人睡觉。
Not at all.
一点也不。
I mean, the first date I went on, I immediately was, like, head over heels for her.
我的意思是，我第一次约会时，我立刻就为她神魂颠倒。
And I knew her for six hours.
我认识她六个小时了。
And I didn't know how to date.
而且我不知道如何约会。
I didn't know how to date casually.
我不知道如何随意约会。
So what I really was doing was just acting like a person who had been in a 13 year relationship with these women that I had just met.
所以我真正做的只是表现得像一个和我刚刚认识的这些女人已经有13年恋爱关系的人。
Like, how does that mean?
比如说，这是什么意思？
What do you mean?
你是什么意思？
Immediately holding hands.
立刻牵着手。
I remember that I would-- my impulse would be to say, "I love you" during sex.
我记得我会——我的冲动是在做爱时说“我爱你”。
That would be my impulse, because that's the only way I was used to having sex.
这就是我的冲动，因为这是我习惯做爱的唯一方式。
And I remember the first time that I did end up having sex, I started to say I love you, and then just kind of swallowed it and made it seem like I was coughing.
我记得我第一次做爱时，我开始说我爱你，然后就把它咽了下去，让我看起来像是在咳嗽。
And that didn't happen just once.
而且这样的事不止发生过一次。
Kurt says it was just a month of incredibly intense feelings.
库尔特说，这只是一个充满令人难以置信的强烈感受的一个月。
He'd feel this crazy elation or he would find himself walking down the street weeping.
他会感到这种疯狂的喜悦，或者他会发现自己在街上哭泣。
The girlfriend told me that she, meanwhile, is having escapades of her own.
女朋友告诉我，与此同时，她也有自己的越轨行为。
She'd be out all night, drinking and dancing, going to exclusive clubs with Mexican high rollers, doing crazy things with European tourists.
她整晚都在外面喝酒跳舞，和墨西哥豪赌客一起去高级俱乐部，和欧洲游客一起做疯狂的事情。
It was just what she wanted, actually.
其实这正是她想要的。
And both of them told me that the weirdest thing about that time was that the person that they wanted to talk to most about what was going on and share it with was each other.
他们俩都告诉我，那段时间最奇怪的事情是，他们最想谈论正在发生的事情并与之分享的人是彼此。
But of course, they weren't speaking.
但当然，他们没有说话。
Kurt says that one of the most amazing thing to him that was kind of a revelation during that time was something-- I've never actually heard anybody talk about it aloud, but I totally related to this-- was how quickly he would find himself in the home of a complete stranger.
库尔特说，那段时间对他来说最令人惊奇的事情之一是一种启示——我从来没有真正听到任何人大声谈论过这件事，但我完全与此相关——就是他很快就会发现自己身处一个完全陌生的家里。
Yeah, I had never gotten to see other people's apartments so much.
是的，我从来没有这么频繁地参观过别人的公寓。
That's what I kind of was fascinated by, getting to see all these different people's apartments and seeing how everyone lives.
这就是我所着迷的地方，参观所有这些不同人的公寓并了解每个人的生活方式。
And I loved that.
我喜欢这样。
I loved that part of it so much.
我非常喜欢那部分。
I was like, look at this.
我当时想，看看这个。
Like I'm seeing, this is all your stuff.
就像我看到的，这都是你的东西。
This is the stuff you keep on your bedside table.
这是你放在床头柜上的东西。
And also, having like really weird experiences I'd never had before.
而且，我还经历了以前从未有过的非常奇怪的经历。
Of like women picking me up, I had never experienced that before.
像女人来接我一样，我以前从未经历过。
I was so confused, because it was a bartender.
我很困惑，因为那是一个调酒师。
She was a bartender.
她是一名调酒师。
So she just kept giving me drinks, free drinks.
所以她就一直给我饮料，免费的饮料。
And I was like, why is she giving me all these free drinks?
我当时想，为什么她要给我这么多免费饮料？
But it is fascinating to see, if you stay at the bar until 4:00 in the morning, then all a sudden-- I had never been aware of it before.
但令人着迷的是，如果你在酒吧待到凌晨 4:00，那么突然之间——我以前从未意识到这一点。
But then, all of a sudden, looking around me, like, oh, all these people are pairing off.
但突然间，环顾四周，哦，所有这些人都结对了。
Look at how this happens.
看看这是如何发生的。
I'd been at bars until 4:00 in the morning, but I was always-- it's all of a sudden uncovering this whole level of single life in New York City that I just had not been aware of before.
我一直在酒吧待到凌晨 4:00，但我总是——突然之间，我发现了纽约市单身生活的整个水平，这是我以前从未意识到的。
Anyone in New York City I feel like can have sex any night of the week if they just follow two rules, which is stay at the bar until 4:00 in the morning and dramatically lower your standards.
我觉得纽约市的任何人都可以在一周的任何晚上发生性行为，只要他们遵循两条规则，那就是在酒吧呆到凌晨 4:00 并大幅降低你的标准。
So after a month, Kurt and his girlfriend get together and talk.
一个月后，库尔特和他的女朋友聚在一起聊天。
And they agreed that a month was not enough for this.
他们一致认为一个月是不够的。
They both said, it was just obvious the experiment hadn't run its course.
他们都说，很明显实验没有按计划进行。
They both wanted more time.
他们都想要更多时间。
So they decide on a second month, which then becomes a third month.
所以他们决定第二个月，然后变成第三个月。
And for Kurt, as time went on, it got harder and harder to stick with the rule that they had made of not getting into any relationships.
对于库尔特来说，随着时间的推移，遵守他们制定的不建立任何关系的规则变得越来越困难。
He was just muddling about how to figure out how to do that.
他只是在思考如何才能做到这一点。
In his head, he would think, when is something actually a relationship?
在他的脑海里，他会想，什么时候才是真正的关系呢？
And I think in my head I was like, three dates.
我想在我的脑海里我就像是三个约会。
Three dates makes a relationship.
三次约会就建立了关系。
That's what I defined.
这就是我的定义。
And so then I would try to not see people more than three times.
所以我会尽量不要见人超过三遍。
That was increasingly difficult.
这变得越来越困难。
It was difficult because he was giving women two opposite messages at the same time.
这很困难，因为他同时向女性传达了两种相反的信息。
He would tell them that he just taking a month's break from his real relationship and this isn't serious.
他会告诉他们，他只是从真正的关系中休息了一个月，这并不严重。
But then he didn't hold back any of his feelings.
但随后他并没有压抑自己的感情。
What I felt like kept happening was that I would act like I wanted to be their boyfriend.
我感觉不断发生的事情是我表现得好像我想成为他们的男朋友。
And then, after three dates, would just abruptly end it, with no explanation whatsoever.
然后，在三次约会之后，就突然结束了，没有任何解释。
And definitely, people would yell at me and call me names.
当然，人们会对我大喊大叫并辱骂我。
And I feel-- to this day I feel-- I feel horrible about that.
我觉得——直到今天我觉得——我对此感到可怕。
Because I was just, I was acting like a crazy person.
因为我只是，我表现得像个疯子。
I was acting like a person with absolutely no boundaries.
我表现得像一个完全没有界限的人。
Still, it was hard to stop himself while it was going on.
尽管如此，当事情发生时，他还是很难阻止自己。
And when we talked about it, Kurt's best explanation for that was--
当我们谈论这个问题时，库尔特对此最好的解释是——
When I was a kid, I had a dog.
当我还是个孩子的时候，我养过一只狗。
And one day, the cat knocked a five-pound bag of sugar off onto the floor.
有一天，猫把一袋五磅重的糖撞到了地板上。
And my dog was about nine pounds.
我的狗大约有九磅重。
He was a toy poodle.
他是一只玩具贵宾犬。
And he ate all five pounds of sugar in one day.
他一天就把五磅糖吃完了。
And then he was sick for three days afterwards.
然后他病了三天。
But I always think about that day for him, how amazing that day must have been, where like eating all of that sugar and eating it.
但我总是想起他的那一天，那一天一定是多么令人惊奇，就像吃掉所有的糖一样。
And then going away from it for a little while, and being like, I can't stop, when is this going to happen again?
然后离开它一段时间，然后想，我无法停止，这种情况什么时候会再次发生？
And then he just started vomiting and vomited for three straight days.
然后他就开始呕吐，连续吐了三天。
And that's how I felt.
这就是我的感受。
I knew this was bad.
我知道这很糟糕。
But I was like, when is this ever going to happen again?
但我想，这种事什么时候才能再次发生？
I asked Kurt's girlfriend if all this happened to her during the rumspringa too.
我问库尔特的女朋友，这一切是否也发生在她喝朗姆酒时。
If it was hard just to have sex without emotion entering into it at all.
如果没有情感介入就很难发生性行为。
And she said, absolutely not.
她说，绝对不是。
Quote, "You mean dudes that I meet at bars or parties or whatever, those people?" She said, "I didn't tell anyone anything about my background or the situation."
引用：“你是指我在酒吧、聚会或其他什么地方遇到的那些人？”她说：“我没有告诉任何人任何有关我的背景或情况的事情。”
And I asked her, wait.
我问她，等等。
So you wouldn't explain, I'm on a break from a relationship.
所以你不会解释，我正在脱离一段关系。
She said, no, because it sounds crazy.
她说，不，因为这听起来很疯狂。
I told her that Kurt would reveal all of that, which she knew.
我告诉她科特会透露所有这一切，她知道。
And she said, yeah, yeah, Kurt's way too open.
她说，是啊，是啊，库尔特太开放了。
But, quote, "That openness probably just made him more appealing to the ladies."
但是，引用一下，“这种开放性可能只会让他对女士们更有吸引力。”
By the end of three months, Kurt started to fall for this woman that he met in Australia.
三个月后，库尔特开始爱上他在澳大利亚遇到的这个女人。
And this time, really actually fall for her in a real way.
而这一次，是真正地爱上了她。
And this made him, of course, feel differently about his relationship with his girlfriend.
当然，这让他对自己和女友的关系有了不同的感觉。
So he flew back to the States, stayed at their old apartment.
于是他飞回美国，住在他们的旧公寓里。
And because this is the most comfortable relationship that has ever existed between two people, of course they dealt with it all right away, very straightforward.
而且因为这是两个人之间最舒服的关系，所以他们当然马上就处理了，非常直接。
And we woke up in the morning, and we went and got brunch.
我们早上醒来，然后去吃早午餐。
And we brought it to the park, the way we had always used to do on Saturdays.
我们把它带到公园，就像我们周六经常做的那样。
And we just sat in the park, and talked, and we broke up.
我们只是坐在公园里聊天，然后就分手了。
And that's the thing.
就是这样。
I can't point to something that was bad about our relationship.
我无法指出我们关系中有什么不好的地方。
Except for knowing that I feel like it had run its course.
只是我知道我觉得一切都已经结束了。
We organically got to the point where we both thought this was a good idea.
我们有机地达到了我们都认为这是个好主意的地步。
This, the rumspringa?
这个，朗斯普林加？
Kurt Braunohler It's almost like the relationship had an expiration date, but we didn't know about it.
库尔特·布劳诺勒（Kurt Braunohler）：这段关系几乎就像有一个到期日，但我们并不知道。
And then, all of a sudden, we came up with this really complicated, crazy plan to put the test on it at the right place where it would break.
然后，突然间，我们想出了这个非常复杂、疯狂的计划，在它会损坏的正确位置进行测试。
And it broke.
它坏了。
His old girlfriend said something similar.
他的前女友也说过类似的话。
She said she had probably wanted out of the relationship before the rumspringa, but she was just too scared to admit it to herself.
她说她可能在朗姆酒之前就想结束这段关系，但她太害怕了，不敢向自己承认这一点。
The rumspringa gave them a way to break up.
朗斯普林加给了他们分手的机会。
They still are very, very close.
他们仍然非常非常接近。
They talk a few times a week.
他们每周聊几次。
Kurt says he would not want to do a rumspringa again.
库尔特说他不想再做朗斯普林加了。
But he came out of this experience believing that it is important to force things to a decision with someone.
但从这次经历中，他相信与某人一起强迫事情做出决定是很重要的。
And that it's healthy for any relationship to be evaluated now and then.
时不时地评估任何关系都是健康的。
I do have a theory now.
我现在确实有一个理论。
I do have a theory about if I do get married in the future.
关于我将来是否结婚，我确实有一个理论。
What I think I would want to do is have an agreement that at the end of seven years, we have to get remarried in order for the marriage to continue.
我想我想做的是达成协议，七年后我们必须再婚才能继续婚姻。
But at the end of seven years, it ends.
但七年后，一切就结束了。
And we can agree to get remarried or not get remarried.
我们可以同意再婚或不再婚。
Why?
为什么？
Kurt Braunohler Because I think you get to choose and I think it would make the relationship stronger.
库尔特·布劳诺勒（Kurt Braunohler）因为我认为你可以做出选择，而且我认为这会让双方的关系更加牢固。
I don't know what I think of that.
我不知道我对此有何看法。
Because I think, actually, one of the things that's a comfort in marriage is that there isn't a door at seven years.
因为我认为，实际上，婚姻中令人安慰的事情之一就是七年没有门。
And so if something is messed up in the short-term, there's a comfort of knowing, well, we made this commitment.
因此，如果短期内出现问题，我们会感到安慰，因为我们做出了这一承诺。
And so we're just going to work this out.
所以我们要解决这个问题。
And even if tonight we're not getting along or there's something between us that doesn't feel right, you have the comfort of knowing, we've got time.
即使今晚我们相处得不好，或者我们之间有什么感觉不对劲，你也可以放心地知道，我们还有时间。
We're going to figure this out.
我们会解决这个问题。
And that makes it so much easier.
这使得事情变得更加容易。
Because you do go through times when you hate each other's guts.
因为你们确实经历过互相憎恨的时候。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Of course you do.
当然可以。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass And the no escape clause, weirdly, is a bigger comfort to being married than I ever would have thought before I got married.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 奇怪的是，没有逃避条款对结婚来说比我结婚前想象的更大的安慰。
I had never thought of it that way.
我从来没有这样想过。
I like thinking about it that way, you just see so many examples of where people don't think that way.
我喜欢这样思考，你会看到很多人们不这么想的例子。
Both Kurt and his girlfriend feel like the rumspringa got them where they needed to go as a couple.
库尔特和他的女朋友都觉得朗姆酒让他们达到了作为情侣需要去的地方。
Even if that place was different than they intended when they began the whole thing.
即使那个地方与他们开始整件事时的预期不同。
Sometimes what you need to do next as a couple, you can't even tell what it should be.
有时，作为夫妻，你们下一步需要做什么，您甚至不知道应该做什么。
The best you can do is hold your breath, make a guess, and jump.
你能做的最好的事情就是屏住呼吸，猜测一下，然后跳下去。
Coming up, love stories between a kid and someone who is not a kid, and a duck and someone who is not a duck.
接下来是孩子和非孩子之间、鸭子和非鸭子之间的爱情故事。
And Jeanne Darst and someone who is not Jeanne Darst.
还有珍妮·达斯特和一个不是珍妮·达斯特的人。
That is in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, for Valentine's Day, What I Did For Love.
今天在我们的情人节节目中，我为爱做了什么。
Stories about people who believe in love and do all kinds of things for love.
讲述人们相信爱情并为爱做各种事情的故事。
We have arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two, 21 Chump Street.
第二幕，21 Chump Street。
Last year, at three high schools in Palm Beach County, Florida, a bunch of young police officers were sent undercover to pose as students.
去年，在佛罗里达州棕榈滩县的三所高中，一群年轻警察被派去卧底冒充学生。
These were recent graduates of the police cadet program.
这些都是刚从警校学员项目毕业的学生。
And they blended right in.
他们就融为一体了。
They went to classes.
他们去上课了。
They ate in the cafeteria.
他们在自助餐厅吃饭。
The hung out on the basketball court during recess.
课间休息时，他们在篮球场闲逛。
They had fake Facebook accounts, of course.
当然，他们有假的 Facebook 帐户。
They even took the state's standardized test, the FCAT.
他们甚至参加了该州的标准化考试 FCAT。
Police officers were there undercover because parents and principals had complained about drugs being sold at the schools.
警察在那里卧底，因为家长和校长抱怨学校出售毒品。
Only the principals at the schools knew of their presence.
只有学校的校长知道他们的存在。
No teachers knew it, no parents knew it.
没有老师知道，没有家长知道。
Now, maybe it is hard to imagine a love story coming out of this situation, but one did.
现在，也许很难想象在这种情况下会产生一个爱情故事，但确实有一个。
A love story where somebody went out of his way and took action at a key moment for love.
一个关于某人在关键时刻为爱不遗余力采取行动的爱情故事。
Robbie Brown tells what happened.
罗比·布朗讲述了发生的事情。
The plan was called Operation D Minus.
该计划被称为 D 减号行动。
And one of the schools included in the plan was Park Vista Community High School, where a kid named Justin Laboy, an 18-year-old honor roll student, was in the last semester of his senior year.
该计划中包括的学校之一是 Park Vista 社区高中，该校有一个名叫贾斯汀·拉博伊 (Justin Laboy) 的 18 岁优等生，正在读高四最后一个学期。
And Justin could hardly believe his luck when a very pretty new girl-- everyone had noticed her-- showed up in not just one, but two of his classes.
当一个非常漂亮的新女孩——每个人都注意到了她——出现在他的一节课，而是两节课上时，贾斯汀简直不敢相信自己的运气。
The name that she used was Naomi.
她使用的名字是内奥米。
I think it was Naomi Rodriguez.
我认为是娜奥米·罗德里格斯。
And she sat in front of me, but then I sat next to her.
她坐在我前面，但后来我坐在她旁边。
So I started talking to her.
所以我开始和她说话。
Oh, hey, my name is Justin, you know.
哦，嘿，我叫贾斯汀，你知道。
Oh, I'm Naomi.
哦，我是娜奥米。
I'm from New York, this and that.
我来自纽约，这个那个。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
Me too.
我也是。
And I had a hat that said New York on it too, because I was trying to show her that I wasn't lying or faking it.
我有一顶帽子，上面也写着纽约，因为我试图向她表明我没有撒谎或假装。
She said she was from Queens.
她说她来自皇后区。
I'm from the Bronx.
我来自布朗克斯。
And she was Puerto Rican and Dominican.
她是波多黎各人和多米尼加人。
And that's what caught me even more.
这就是更吸引我的地方。
I was like, oh, man.
我当时想，哦，伙计。
OK.
好的。
And I was Puerto Rican.
我是波多黎各人。
And I was talking to her a little Spanish.
我正在和她讲一点西班牙语。
She talked to me in a little Spanish.
她用一点西班牙语跟我说话。
And then I just got really close to her.
然后我就离她很近了。
I got attached real quick.
我很快就粘上了。
I was like, wow, look at this.
我当时想，哇，看看这个。
What did she look like?
她长什么样？
Justin She was about 5' 4", black straight hair, light-skinned.
贾斯汀 她身高约 5 英尺 4 英寸，黑色直发，浅色皮肤。
She was mature body-wise, so that caught a lot of people's attention.
她的身材十分成熟，因此引起了很多人的关注。
But the things that she did that I thought made her a real student was that she would sleep in class.
但我认为她所做的让她成为一名真正学生的事情是她会在课堂上睡觉。
She wouldn't do her homework.
她不肯做作业。
I would have to wake her up all the time, be like, hey, listen, wake up.
我必须一直叫醒她，就像，嘿，听着，醒来。
You're going to get in trouble.
你会遇到麻烦的。
Hey, oh, you didn't do your homework?
哎呀，你作业没做吗？
OK, I'll let you copy my homework.
好吧，我让你抄我的作业。
Because, I mean, I take my classes seriously.
因为，我的意思是，我认真对待我的课程。
But with her, it was different.
但对于她来说，情况就不一样了。
I was just like, oh, man, you know?
我当时就想，哦，伙计，你知道吗？
Wow, you know, she's cute.
哇，你知道，她很可爱。
I could talk to her.
我可以和她说话。
I'd get in trouble once in a while.
我偶尔会遇到麻烦。
It would be like, Justin, stop talking.
就像贾斯汀，别说话了。
OK.
好的。
Justin's a good-looking guy, popular and well-liked.
贾斯汀是一个英俊的小伙子，很受欢迎，很受欢迎。
He'd had girlfriends before but nothing that lasted.
他以前也有过女朋友，但都没有长久。
Nothing that seemed worth holding on to.
似乎没有什么值得坚持的。
But Naomi seemed different.
但内奥米似乎有所不同。
She was a good listener.
她是一个很好的倾听者。
She didn't seem to gossip or play games.
她似乎不八卦，也不玩游戏。
She seemed very adult.
她看起来很成熟。
It's the maturity level that I really cared for.
这是我真正关心的成熟度水平。
I told her a lot of my feelings.
我跟她说了很多我的感受。
I told her how I felt for her.
我告诉她我对她的感觉。
I mean, I'm not the type of person to open up to you unless we have a really good relationship.
我的意思是，除非我们的关系非常好，否则我不是那种会对你敞开心扉的人。
And I was just opened up so much.
我刚刚敞开心扉。
I told her about my whole life story, about my parents.
我告诉她我一生的故事，关于我父母的故事。
I told her problems I had.
我告诉她我遇到的问题。
What was it about her that made you trust her?
她身上的什么让你信任她？
That made you feel like you could open up to her?
这让你觉得你可以向她敞开心扉？
She had told me that she came up here with her mother.
她告诉我她是和她妈妈一起来这里的。
That they was having problems in New York, so they came over here to Florida to settle down, to have a better life.
他们在纽约遇到了问题，所以他们来到佛罗里达定居，过上更好的生活。
And little stuff like that, telling people, I believed that, oh, wow.
像这样的小事，告诉人们，我相信，哦，哇。
OK, since you're telling me stuff like this, then I can tell you about my life.
好吧，既然你告诉我这样的事情，那我就可以告诉你我的生活了。
Yeah, I'm having hard troubles with this person right here.
是的，我在这里遇到了这个人的麻烦。
Or I'm having trouble with my parents.
或者我和父母之间有矛盾。
Little stuff like that makes people bond together.
像这样的小事可以让人们团结在一起。
Justin believed he was seeing the signs that Naomi was starting to like him.
贾斯汀相信他看到了娜奥米开始喜欢他的迹象。
Like him like him.
喜欢他就喜欢他。
They walked together in the halls.
他们一起在大厅里散步。
They would text during class.
他们会在课堂上发短信。
He says she even let him kiss her on the cheek.
他说她甚至让他亲吻她的脸颊。
And he serenaded her in front of their entire class.
他在全班同学面前为她唱了小夜曲。
I'd be like, oh, I'm going to sing you a song.
我会想，哦，我要给你唱首歌。
She'd be like, oh, OK.
她会说，哦，好吧。
And then I'd just start singing.
然后我就开始唱歌。
And then I'll get all blushed up.
然后我就会脸红。
And be like, oh, man, what am I doing?
就像，哦，伙计，我在做什么？
OK, let me continue.
好吧，让我继续。
I'll start rapping to her, and then I started singing.
我会开始对她说唱，然后开始唱歌。
And I mean, I even danced too.
我的意思是，我什至也跳舞了。
So I danced for her and I--
所以我为她跳舞，然后我——
You really liked this girl.
你真的很喜欢这个女孩。
Justin Man, it tore me apart.
贾斯汀·曼，这让我心碎。
I was like, oh my god.
我当时想，天啊。
So you felt like all the signs were good?
所以你觉得所有迹象都很好？
Oh, of course.
哦，当然。
I felt all the signs were good, because I never got a non-sign.
我觉得所有的迹象都很好，因为我从来没有遇到过不迹象。
So therefore, I was just like, OK, everything's good.
因此，我就想，好吧，一切都很好。
I know I'm taking it slow.
我知道我会慢慢来。
I know I'm taking it good.
我知道我接受得很好。
Usually, it doesn't take me that long to get a girlfriend when I start talking to them.
通常，当我开始和女朋友交谈时，我不需要那么长时间就能找到女朋友。
So when it took me-- I found it kind of odd.
所以当我需要的时候——我发现这有点奇怪。
I was like, wow, I'm such a great dude.
我当时想，哇，我真是个好人。
And we're hanging out.
我们正在闲逛。
What's the next step?
下一步是什么？
I don't care about sex and everything.
我不关心性和一切。
I just want to know if you're going to be mine.
我只是想知道你是否会属于我。
Yes.
是的。
I mean, me, I love that.
我的意思是，我，我喜欢这样。
So it attracted me even more.
所以更加吸引我了。
I love girls that guys can't have.
我喜欢男人无法拥有的女孩。
So I'm like, this is awesome.
所以我想，这太棒了。
And in hindsight, she was probably playing hard to get for a different reason.
事后看来，她可能出于不同的原因而欲擒故纵。
Yes, for a different reason.
是的，出于不同的原因。
Robbie Brown All of this built up, inevitably, to Justin asking Naomi to prom.
罗比·布朗（Robbie Brown）这一切不可避免地是因为贾斯汀邀请娜奥米参加舞会。
She's a senior, I'm a senior.
她是前辈，我也是前辈。
Our last year, I don't know where we're going to be after this.
这是我们的最后一年，我不知道之后我们会去哪里。
So let me just step up, and be a man, and do what I got to do.
所以，让我挺身而出，做一个男人，做我必须做的事。
So I went up to her in class.
所以我在课堂上走到她身边。
And I was like, listen, I know you don't know anybody in this school that much.
我当时想，听着，我知道你对这所学校里的任何人都不了解。
And I don't want to go to anybody in this school.
我不想去这所学校的任何人那里。
And I feel really attracted to you.
我觉得你真的很吸引我。
Would you like to come with me to prom?
你愿意和我一起去参加舞会吗？
Oh, that sounds nice.
哦，听起来不错。
OK.
好的。
Excuse me, let me think about it.
对不起，让我考虑一下。
I was blushing red.
我当时脸都红了。
I was like, oh my god, what if she says no?
我当时想，天哪，如果她拒绝怎么办？
What if she says yes?
如果她说是怎么办？
And after she gave me the OK, yeah, around the more of a yes side, I was OK.
在她给了我“好”的答复之后，是的，更多的是“是”的一面，我就没事了。
I was good.
我很好。
Good.
很好。
You know, prom was coming up.
你知道，舞会即将来临。
And I guess he needed a date.
我猜他需要约会。
I interviewed the undercover officer who played Naomi.
我采访了扮演娜奥米的卧底警官。
She's a 25-year-old new recruit with the Palm Beach School's police force.
她是棕榈滩学校警察部队的一名 25 岁新兵。
She wouldn't give me her real name, and only agreed to a phone interview if her supervising sergeant could listen in.
她不愿透露自己的真实姓名，只同意在她的上级警官可以旁听的情况下接受电话采访。
She wouldn't talk to me about any specific cases, or kids at the school, including Justin.
她不会和我谈论任何具体案例，也不会和我谈论学校里的孩子，包括贾斯汀。
But she did confirm that she was asked to prom.
但她确实证实她被邀请参加舞会。
She doesn't remember it quite the way Justin does though.
但她并不像贾斯汀那样记得那件事。
Mainly, she says she didn't say yes.
主要是，她说她没有答应。
I told him I wasn't going just because, since this is not where I spent the last three years of high school, I didn't really want to go to the prom.
我告诉他我不去只是因为，因为这不是我高中最后三年度过的地方，所以我真的不想去参加舞会。
And I had to pay for the ticket and everything else.
我必须支付门票和其他一切费用。
I was like, no, it's too much money for me.
我当时想，不，这对我来说太多了。
And he bought it.
他买了它。
Justin and Naomi didn't end up going to prom, of course.
当然，贾斯汀和内奥米最终没有去参加舞会。
Partly because of what happened next.
部分原因是接下来发生的事情。
One day at the beginning of April, after Naomi had been at school for about three months, she and Justin had a conversation about drugs.
四月初的一天，内奥米上学大约三个月后，她和贾斯汀谈论了毒品问题。
She asked me if I smoked.
她问我是否抽烟。
And I told her, no, I do not smoke.
我告诉她，不，我不抽烟。
But if you need anything, I'll be more than happy to help you out.
但如果您需要任何帮助，我会非常乐意为您提供帮助。
So like I said, I'm not a drug dealer.
就像我说的，我不是毒贩。
It's hard for me to get drugs at all.
对我来说，获得毒品是一件很困难的事情。
So it's not like she told me this day, and then I got it for her the very next day.
所以这不像她今天告诉我，然后我第二天就给她拿到了。
It took me a while, you know?
我花了一段时间，你知道吗？
She would text me, and I would text her.
她会给我发短信，我也会给她发短信。
She'd be like, do you have it yet?
她会问，你拿到了吗？
No, I don't have it at the moment right now.
不，我现在没有。
And she would be at school, hey, do you have that yet?
她会在学校，嘿，你有那个吗？
No, I don't have it right now.
不，我现在没有。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
对不起，对不起。
I'm really trying.
我真的很努力。
My heart is to get it, and I can't get it.
我心想得到，却得不到。
Because I liked the girl.
因为我喜欢那个女孩。
What are you thinking as you're trying to get this pot to sell to her?
当你试图把这个罐子卖给她时，你在想什么？
I'm thinking, what the heck am I doing?
我在想，我到底在做什么？
Like I had never done this in the school before.
就像我以前从未在学校做过这样的事情一样。
So I'm really scared and skeptical about it, too, at the same point.
所以我同时也对此感到非常害怕和怀疑。
And I'm like, oh, man.
我想，哦，伙计。
OK.
好的。
So I'm asking my home boy.
所以我才去问我家的孩子。
And my friend is like, no-- I don't know.
我的朋友说，不——我不知道。
Because I don't hang out with guys like that.
因为我不和这样的人在一起。
Maybe Justin didn't know guys like that, and maybe he did.
也许贾斯汀不认识这样的人，也许他认识。
The police say he told Naomi he smoked pot.
警方称他告诉内奥米他吸大麻。
Justin says he was just trying to seem cool to impress her.
贾斯汀说他只是想表现得很酷，以给她留下深刻印象。
But what's certain is he did find somebody who would sell to him, a person his cousin knew, he says.
但可以肯定的是，他确实找到了愿意卖给他的人，一个他表弟认识的人，他说。
So a couple days after they first talked about it, Justin brought a rolled up baggie of marijuana to school for Naomi.
因此，在他们第一次谈论这件事几天后，贾斯汀给娜奥米带来了一袋卷起的大麻到学校。
And I was petrified.
我吓呆了。
I was like, oh my god.
我当时想，天啊。
I'm actually going to do this.
我实际上要做这个。
So we were in class.
于是我们就去上课了。
And I sat right next to her.
我坐在她旁边。
And she was like, hey, do you have that?
她说，嘿，你有那个吗？
And I was like, you know what?
我当时想，你知道吗？
Yeah, I do.
是的，我愿意。
And I was like, OK, we're going to wait a few.
我当时想，好吧，我们要等一会儿。
Because I'm not going to be like, oh, hey, give it to her in her hand, slide it.
因为我不会说，哦，嘿，把它递给她手里，滑动它。
But she was like, OK, put it in my purse.
但她说，好吧，把它放进我的钱包里。
OK.
好的。
She put her purse on top of my desk.
她把钱包放在我的桌子上。
And then I slid it right in there.
然后我就把它滑进去了。
She goes, OK, now take the money.
她说，好吧，现在拿钱吧。
I was like, no, I don't need the money.
我当时想，不，我不需要钱。
It's OK.
没关系。
Just have it.
就拥有它吧。
You can take it.
你可以接受。
She goes, no, please take the money.
她说，不，请拿走钱。
You make me feel bad.
你让我感觉很糟糕。
So 10 minutes passed.
就这样10分钟过去了。
And then we're still arguing about it.
然后我们还在争论这个问题。
I'm like, please.
我就像，拜托。
No, I don't want the money.
不，我不要钱。
And she goes, no, just take the money.
她说，不，只要拿钱就可以了。
Take the money.
拿钱吧。
Please, take the money.
请收下钱吧
It will make me feel better.
这会让我感觉好一些。
I'm just like, OK, you know what?
我只是想，好吧，你知道吗？
Just so you could just shut up, I'll take the money.
为了让你闭嘴，我会拿钱。
Don't worry.
别担心。
You're making me feel bad, now that I'm taking the money from you.
现在我拿走了你的钱，你让我感觉很糟糕。
Justin would later find out it's a felony in Florida to sell marijuana.
贾斯汀后来发现在佛罗里达州出售大麻是重罪。
And the penalty is even harsher for selling it on school property.
在学校财产上出售的处罚甚至更严厉。
In other words, Justin had made an irreversibly bad decision.
换句话说，贾斯汀做出了一个不可挽回的错误决定。
The worst decision of his life, he says.
他说，这是他一生中最糟糕的决定。
And since he was over 18, he was legally an adult when he made it.
由于他已经超过 18 岁，从法律上来说他已经是成年人了。
Finally, in May, the police did a big sweep.
终于，到了五月，警方进行了一次大扫荡。
They arrested 31 people at several schools, almost all of them students who had sold small amounts of marijuana.
他们在几所学校逮捕了 31 人，几乎都是出售少量大麻的学生。
Justin was one of them.
贾斯汀就是其中之一。
And they said that I had sold to the undercover cop.
他们说我已经卖给了卧底警察。
And I'm weirded out.
我很奇怪。
I'm like, whoa.
我想，哇。
Who did I ever sell to?
我曾经卖给谁？
And then it just popped into my head that the only person that I ever did give anything to was this female.
然后我突然想到，我唯一给予过任何东西的人就是这个女人。
And I was shocked.
我很震惊。
My emotions were running.
我的情绪在奔腾。
I was just like, oh my god.
我当时就想，天哪。
This is so mean.
这太卑鄙了。
This is so messed up.
这太乱了。
How can she do this?
她怎么能这么做呢？
I mean, if it was a guy doing this, if a guy ever tried to come up to me like this, I would have put my hand in his face straight up, and said, no, get out of my face.
我的意思是，如果是一个人这样做，如果一个人试图像这样向我走来，我会直接把手放在他的脸上，然后说，不，从我面前滚开。
Please, get out of my face.
请从我面前滚出去。
I don't associate with that.
我不认同这一点。
But it's just a female.
但这只是一个女性。
It's a different feeling that you get for a female than you would when you have your home boy or a guy come up to you and ask you a question like that.
对于女性来说，与当你的男朋友或男人走到你面前问你这样的问题时，你得到的感觉是不同的。
Oh, hey, do you smoke?
哦，嘿，你抽烟吗？
No, no, I don't.
不，不，我不。
Get out of here.
离开这里。
It was a different feeling that when you get from a girl you like.
当你从一个你喜欢的女孩那里得到时，这是一种不同的感觉。
You're not going to turn down the person that you want to be with.
你不会拒绝你想在一起的人。
When I talked to the officer who plays Naomi, she said she had no regrets about her undercover work.
当我与扮演内奥米的警官交谈时，她说她对自己的卧底工作并不后悔。
She's a cop.
她是一名警察。
And she sees it the way a cop does.
她以警察的方式看待这件事。
These kids need to wake up.
这些孩子需要醒来。
They need to realize they can't be doing this.
他们需要意识到他们不能这样做。
And using undercover officers has gotten results.
而使用便衣也收到了效果。
The police in Palm Beach County tried the same tactics again at another group of schools last semester.
上学期，棕榈滩县警方在另一组学校再次尝试了同样的策略。
So far, they've arrested more than 80 people.
到目前为止，他们已经逮捕了80多人。
All have pled guilty to charges ranging from selling cocaine and pills to bringing weapons on school property.
所有人都承认了从出售可卡因和药丸到在学校财产中携带武器等指控。
Justin took a plea deal, three years probation in exchange for pleading guilty to the felony charge.
贾斯汀达成认罪协议，缓刑三年，以换取对重罪指控的认罪。
His lawyer told him that if he went to trial, it would be his word against Naomi's.
他的律师告诉他，如果他接受审判，他的诺言将与内奥米的诺言相悖。
And they disagreed about the drug deal.
他们对毒品交易的看法也不一致。
He says she kept asking him to sell her marijuana.
他说她一直要求他卖掉她的大麻。
She says he brought it up first.
她说是他先提出来的。
He says she insisted he take money for it.
他说她坚持要他付钱。
She says he just took the money without prompting.
她说他只是在没有提示的情况下拿了钱。
Either way, the police had Justin's text messages telling Naomi he would get marijuana for her.
不管怎样，警方收到了贾斯汀的短信，告诉内奥米他会为她买大麻。
So Justin's lawyer advised him, just take the plea.
所以贾斯汀的律师建议他，接受抗辩吧。
But before the deal came through, he spent more than a week in jail going over and over in his mind what had happened.
但在交易达成之前，他在监狱里度过了一个多星期，一遍又一遍地在脑海中思考发生的事情。
And still thinking, in spite of himself, about Naomi.
他仍然不由自主地想着内奥米。
I would have a good time when I would be with her.
当我和她在一起时，我会度过一段美好的时光。
And I would be with her all the time.
我会一直和她在一起。
And that's why, when all this collapsed and caved in, I felt so-- it just hurt.
这就是为什么，当这一切崩溃、塌陷时，我感到如此——很痛。
No, not-- Robbie Brown --since you were arrested?
不，自从你被捕后，罗比·布朗就没有？
Not at all.
一点也不。
Robbie Brown Have you tried to send her any messages?
罗比·布朗 你试过给她发消息吗？
No. I don't have any contact with her whatsoever.
不，我和她没有任何联系。
If I would, I would love to have a conversation with her.
如果可以的话，我很想和她谈谈。
No disrespect or anything.
没有不尊重什么的。
What would you tell her?
你会告诉她什么？
Justin I would tell her, what the heck did she do?
贾斯汀 我会告诉她，她到底做了什么？
Justin had planned to go into the Air Force after high school.
贾斯汀原计划高中毕业后加入空军。
He said he wanted to make something out of his life.
他说他想从自己的生活中创造一些东西。
And now, with a felony conviction, the Armed Forces, any part of it, was off the table.
而现在，由于被判重罪，武装部队，无论是其中的任何一部分，都不再被考虑。
Justin is applying to community college.
贾斯汀正在申请社区大学。
He says now the whole thing seems kind of unbelievable.
他说现在整件事看起来有点难以置信。
He was an honor roll student, a first time offender with no criminal record.
他是一名优等生，初犯，没有犯罪记录。
And of all the high schools in all the towns in all the world, she walked into his.
在全世界所有城镇的所有高中中，她走进了他的高中。
Robbie Brown works for the the New York Times in Atlanta.
罗比·布朗在亚特兰大《纽约时报》工作。
Act 3, Cold Stone Dreamery.
第三幕，冷石梦。
This next story, like that last one we just heard, is about a guy who yearns for someone, yearns.
下一个故事，就像我们刚刚听到的上一个故事一样，是关于一个渴望某人的人，渴望。
And this someone is not giving him much back.
而这个人并没有给他太多回报。
And this someone may not actually be good for him at all.
而这个人，其实对他来说，可能根本就没有什么好处。
Except in this story, the guy is a duck.
除了这个故事之外，这个家伙是一只鸭子。
This story is from Ben Loory.
这个故事来自本·洛里。
A duck fell in love with a rock.
一只鸭子爱上了一块石头。
It was a large rock, about the size of a duck actually, that was situated off the bank of the river, a little past the old elm.
那是一块大石头，实际上大约有一只鸭子那么大，位于河岸边，离老榆树不远。
Every day after lunch, the duck would saunter off to admire the rock for a while.
每天午饭后，鸭子都会漫步到岩石上欣赏一会儿。
"Where are you going?" said the other ducks.
“你要去哪里？”其他鸭子说。
"Nowhere," said the duck.
“无处可去，”鸭子说。
"Just around."
“就在附近。”
But the other ducks knew exactly where he was going.
但其他鸭子清楚地知道他要去哪里。
And they all laughed at him behind his back.
他们都在背后嘲笑他。
"Stupid duck is in love with a rock," they snickered.
“笨鸭子爱上了一块石头。”他们窃笑道。
"Wonder what kind of ducklings they will have."
“想知道他们会生出什么样的小鸭子。”
But there was one duck, a girl duck, who did not laugh.
但有一只鸭子，一只小鸭子，她没有笑。
She had known the strange duck for a long time and had always found him to be a good and decent bird.
她认识这只奇怪的鸭子很久了，一直觉得他是一只善良而正派的鸟。
She felt sorry for him.
她为他感到难过。
It was hard luck to fall in love with a rock.
爱上一块石头是一件很不幸的事。
She wanted to help, but what could she do?
她很想帮忙，可是她能做什么呢？
She trailed after the duck and watched him woo the rock from behind a tree.
她跟在鸭子后面，看着它从树后向石头求爱。
"I love you," the duck was saying.
“我爱你，”鸭子说。
"I love you.
“我爱你。
I love you.
我爱你。
I love you.
我爱你。
I love you more than the stars in the sky.
我爱你胜过爱天上的星星。
I love you more than the fish in the river.
我爱你胜过爱河里的鱼。
I love you more than, more than--" And there he stopped for he could think of nothing else that existed.
我爱你胜过、胜过——”说到这里他停了下来，因为他想不出还有什么其他的事存在。
"Life itself?" said the girl duck from behind the tree.
“生命本身？”女孩从树后躲开说道。
She hadn't meant to pipe up.
她本来不想插话的。
The words just sort of leapt out of her.
这句话简直是从她嘴里蹦出来的。
The duck spun around to look at her.
鸭子转过身来看着她。
He was terrified.
他很害怕。
"It's OK," said the girl duck, waddling out from behind the tree.
“没关系，”小鸭子说着，从树后摇摇晃晃地走了出来。
"I know you're in love with the rock.
“我知道你爱上了这块石头。
In fact, everyone knows."
事实上，每个人都知道。”
"Yes," said the girl duck.
“是的，”鸭子女孩说。
"Yes, they do."
“是的，他们确实这么做了。”
The duck sighed and sat down on the ground.
鸭子叹了口气，坐到了地上。
If he had had hands, he would have buried his head in them.
如果他有手，他一定会把头埋进双手里。
"What am I going to do?" he said.
“我要做什么？”他说。
"What am I going to do?"
“我要做什么？”
"How can it go on like this?" Said the duck.
“怎么能这样下去呢？”鸭子说。
"I love a thing that can not speak, can not move, can not-- I don't even know how it feels about me."
“我喜欢一个不能说话、不能动、不能——我什至不知道它对我有什么感觉的东西。”
The girl duck looked at the rock.
小鸭子看着岩石。
She didn't know what to say.
她不知道该说什么。
"I know," said the duck, "you think I'm crazy.
“我知道，”鸭子说，“你认为我疯了。
You think it's just a rock.
你以为它只是一块石头。
But it isn't just a rock.
但它不仅仅是一块石头。
It's different.
这是不同的。
It's very different." He looked at the rock.
这是非常不同的。”他看着岩石。
"But something has to happen," he said, "and soon.
“但有些事情必须发生，”他说，“而且很快。
Because my heart will break if this goes on much longer."
因为如果这种情况持续更长时间，我的心就会碎。”
That night, the girl duck had a hard time sleeping.
那天晚上，鸭姑娘一夜难眠。
She kept paddling around in circles, thinking about the rock, and the duck, and his heart that might break.
她不停地划着圈子，想着那块岩石，想着那只鸭子，想着他可能会破碎的心。
She thought long and hard.
她沉思了很久。
And before morning, she had an idea.
早上之前，她有了一个主意。
She went and woke up the strange duck.
她去叫醒了那只奇怪的鸭子。
"Things happen when they must," she said, as if it were an extremely meaningful statement.
“事情到了该发生的时候，”她说道，仿佛这是一个极其有意义的声明。
"So I have a plan," said the girl duck, "and I think that it will work."
“所以我有一个计划，”小鸭子说，“我认为它会奏效。”
"Well, what is it?" said the duck, nearly bursting with excitement.
“嗯，那是什么？”鸭子说，兴奋得几乎要爆发了。
"We will need help," said the girl duck.
“我们需要帮助，”小鸭子说。
"And it will take some time.
“这需要一些时间。
And also, we will need a cliff."
而且，我们还需要悬崖。”
Two days later they set out.
两天后，他们出发了。
It took four ducks to carry the rock.
搬动石头需要四只鸭子。
They worked in teams and traded off every 15 minutes.
他们以团队形式工作，每 15 分钟进行一次交换。
Everyone joined in, even though they laughed, for ducks are all brothers when it comes right down to it.
每个人都加入进来，尽管他们都笑了，因为归根结底，鸭子都是兄弟。
"The cliff is over that hill and then quite a ways to the south," said the most elderly duck.
“悬崖就在那座山上，然后向南延伸很远，”最年长的鸭子说。
"I remember flying over it when I was fledgling.
“我记得当我羽翼未丰的时候飞过它。
It looked like the edge of the world."
它看起来就像是世界的边缘。”
The ducks trudged on under their rocky weight for hours.
鸭子们在岩石的重量下艰难地行走了几个小时。
For hours, and then for days.
几个小时，然后几天。
At night, they camped under hedges and strange trees, and ate beetles and frogs.
晚上，他们在树篱和怪树下扎营，吃甲虫和青蛙。
"Do you think it will be much farther?" said one of the ducks.
“你觉得还会更远吗？”一只鸭子说。
"Maybe," said the old duck.
“也许吧，”老鸭子说。
"My memory is not so good anymore."
“我的记忆力已经不太好了。”
On the sixth day, the ducks began to tire.
第六天，鸭子们开始疲倦了。
"I don't believe there is a cliff," said one of them.
“我不相信有悬崖，”其中一人说道。
"Me neither," said another.
“我也一样，”另一个人说。
"I think the old duck is crazy."
“我觉得老鸭子疯了。”
"My back hurts," said a third duck.
“我的背疼，”第三只鸭子说。
"I want to go home."
“我想回家。”
"Me too," said a fourth.
“我也是，”第四个说。
"In fact, I'm going to."
“事实上，我要去。”
And then, all the ducks began to turn for home.
然后，所有的鸭子都开始回家了。
The rock fell to the forest floor and lay there.
岩石掉到森林地面上并躺在那里。
The strange duck looked imploringly at the girl duck.
奇怪的鸭子哀求地看着小鸭子。
"Don't worry," she said.
“别担心，”她说。
"I won't leave you."
“我不会离开你。”
They watched all the other ducks flee homeward.
他们看着所有其他鸭子都逃回家了。
And then they hoisted the rock onto their backs and trudged on.
然后他们把石头背在背上，艰难地前行。
"What do you think will happen when we throw it off the cliff?" said the duck.
“你觉得我们把它扔下悬崖时会发生什么？”鸭子说。
"I don't know," said the girl duck.
“我不知道，”鸭子女孩说。
"I just know it will be something."
“我只知道这将会是一些事情。”
Finally, they came to the edge of the cliff.
终于，他们来到了悬崖边。
The drop-off was so great they couldn't see the ground.
落差太大，他们看不到地面。
Just great white clouds spread out before them, like an endless, rolling cotton blanket.
只有巨大的白云在他们面前展开，就像一条无尽的、滚动的棉毯。
"It looks so soft," said the duck.
“它看起来很软，”鸭子说。
"Yes, it does," said the girl duck.
“是的，是的，”鸭子女孩说。
"Are you ready?"
“你准备好了吗？”
The duck looked at the rock.
鸭子看着岩石。
"This is it, my love," he said, "the moment of truth.
“这就是，我的爱人，”他说，“关键时刻。
And whatever happens, please remember, always remember, I love you."
无论发生什么，请记住，永远记住，我爱你。”
And the two ducks hurled the rock off the cliff together.
两只鸭子一起把石头扔下了悬崖。
At first the rock simply fell "like a rock," one might say.
人们可能会说，一开始岩石只是“像岩石一样”落下。
"Like a stone." But then something began to happen.
“就像一块石头。”但随后发生了一些事情。
It began to slow.
它开始变慢。
It began to grow.
它开始生长。
It began to change.
它开始改变。
It narrowed.
它变窄了。
It elongated.
它拉长了。
And it also spread sideways.
而且还横向蔓延。
"It's becoming a bird," the girl duck said.
“它正在变成一只鸟，”小鸭子说。
And it was.
确实如此。
It was becoming a beautiful gray bird, really not that unlike a duck.
它正在变成一只美丽的灰色鸟，真的不像鸭子。
Its wings began to move slowly up and down, up and down.
它的翅膀开始慢慢地上下移动。
And it dove down, and then coasted up.
它俯冲下来，然后滑行起来。
It looked back over its shoulder at the two ducks on the cliff, and it called out just once, "Good bye."
它回头看了一眼悬崖上的两只鸭子，只叫了一声：“再见。”
And then it was going, going, getting smaller and smaller, flying off over the blanket across the sky.
然后它就飞啊飞，越来越小，从毯子上飞过天空。
When they reached the pond, the other ducks gathered around and clamored to hear what had happened.
当他们到达池塘时，其他鸭子围拢过来，大声叫嚷着想听发生了什么事。
The duck and the girl duck glanced at each other.
小鸭子和小鸭子互相看了一眼。
"Nothing," said the girl duck.
“没什么，”小鸭子说。
"It fell."
“掉下来了。”
In the days that followed, the duck stayed to himself.
接下来的日子里，鸭子一直独处。
The girl duck went and swan around in circles.
小鸭子走过去，转着圈子。
She thought about that rocky bird flying off into the sky.
她想起那只飞向天空的岩石鸟。
She saw it over and over in her mind.
她在心里一遍又一遍地看到这一幕。
And then one day, not too many days later, she looked and saw the duck come swimming up.
不久之后的一天，她看到鸭子游了上来。
He was carrying a small salamander in his bill.
他的嘴里叼着一条小蝾螈。
And the duck smiled.
鸭子笑了。
Ira Glass Ben Loory, reading a story from his book, Stories for the Nighttime and Some for the Day.
艾拉·格拉斯·本·洛里 (Ira Glass Ben Loory) 正在朗读他的《夜间故事和白天故事》一书中的故事。
Act Four, Fantastic Mr. Fox.
第四幕，了不起的狐狸先生。
When you're first falling for somebody, there is that period where you don't know if you should trust what is happening just yet, or should you trust them?
当你第一次爱上某人时，有一段时间你不知道是否应该相信刚刚发生的事情，或者你应该相信他们吗？
And this question mark hangs over the whole thing.
这个问号笼罩着整个事情。
And part of what you're doing for love is gathering information to erase that question mark.
你为爱所做的一部分就是收集信息来消除这个问号。
Jeanne Darst met this guy, and thought of him as a fling and not serious dating material.
珍妮·达斯特（Jeanne Darst）遇见了这个人，并认为他是一个短暂的约会对象，而不是认真的约会对象。
At first, anyway.
无论如何，一开始。
Note to sensitive listeners.
请注意敏感的听众。
Once again, we refer to the existence of sex in this story, but give no details about how it works.
我们在这个故事中再次提到了性的存在，但没有详细说明它是如何运作的。
Anyway, here's Jeanne.
无论如何，这里是珍妮。
It was a pretty romantic set up.
这是一个非常浪漫的设置。
He was photographing me for a work thing.
他因为工作原因给我拍照。
My first impression of him was that he was a little silly, like a lot of men in Los Angeles are.
我对他的第一印象是他有点傻，就像洛杉矶的很多男人一样。
Wearing goofy, expensive sneakers like a rich five-year-old and mispronouncing words.
像一个五岁的富翁一样穿着愚蠢而昂贵的运动鞋，并且发音错误。
But also, super likable.
而且，超级讨人喜欢。
As we were talking about the layout for the shoot, he asked me, what do you think of monogamy?
当我们讨论拍摄布局时，他问我，你对一夫一妻制有何看法？
Later, when we had been dating a while, I asked him why he asked me what I thought of monogamy.
后来，当我们约会了一段时间后，我问他为什么他问我对一夫一妻制的看法。
And he said, because I wanted to date someone who wanted to be monogamous.
他说，因为我想和一个想要实行一夫一妻制的人约会。
The second time we met, he asked me to his house for a margarita.
我们第二次见面时，他邀请我去他家喝一杯玛格丽塔酒。
When I told him I was sober, he said, that's amazing.
当我告诉他我很清醒时，他说，这太棒了。
I'm sober a lot of the time too.
我很多时候也很清醒。
I haven't had a drink for eight days.
我已经八天没有喝酒了。
The ridiculousness of this was somehow exceedingly charming to me.
这种荒唐的感觉对我来说是极其迷人的。
Someone who, in trying to play down their drinking, has no idea that everything they're saying is screaming I'm an alcoholic.
有些人试图淡化自己的饮酒行为，却不知道他们所说的一切都在尖叫我是个酒鬼。
Normal drinkers don't know how many days it has been since their last drink.
正常饮酒者不知道距离上次饮酒已经过去了多少天。
In the way that, say, I couldn't tell you when I last had red potatoes.
比如说，我无法告诉你我上次吃红土豆是什么时候。
I guess I had thought that I would play in his power of now world for a week or two.
我想我本来以为我会在他的现在世界的力量中玩一两个星期。
That Jake and I would have fun, and that would be that.
杰克和我会玩得很开心，仅此而已。
But things were quickly, well, better than that.
但事情很快就比这更好了。
We had a lot in common.
我们有很多共同点。
He was divorcing like me, had a kid my kid's age.
他和我一样正在离婚，有一个和我孩子同龄的孩子。
He understood having dinner at 5:30.
他明白5点30分吃晚饭。
He was sexy, and sexy, and had good ideas about things to do.
他很性感，而且对要做的事情有很好的想法。
He'd call and say, let's take the boys to an outdoor movie at the golf course tonight.
他会打电话说，今晚我们带孩子们去高尔夫球场看一场露天电影。
And when I'd be in the middle of a work thing and realize we were all going to starve, I'd get a text saying he was making sandwiches, and bringing blankets and pillows, and picking us all up.
当我正在做工作并意识到我们都要挨饿时，我会收到一条短信，说他正在做三明治，并带来毯子和枕头，并接我们所有人。
He called me Fox-- constantly.
他经常叫我“狐狸”。
I forgave this because I thought it was a professional tick.
我原谅了这一点，因为我认为这是一个专业的蜱虫。
And after my divorce, I wasn't looking for an argument.
离婚后，我并没有寻求争论。
I soon realized he called everyone Fox.
我很快意识到他称每个人为“狐狸”。
Hey, Fox.
嘿，狐狸。
My neighbors, his agent.
我的邻居，他的经纪人。
He probably called his own mother Fox.
他可能称自己的母亲为狐狸。
What's up, Fox, how's the arthritis?
怎么了，狐狸，关节炎怎么样了？
My friends don't want to be called Fox.
我的朋友们不想被称为“狐狸”。
They really, really don't want to called Fox.
他们真的、真的不想给福克斯打电话。
But again, I let it ride because he worked in the fox industry, and had done a lot of drugs, and was pushing 50.
但我还是顺其自然，因为他在狐狸行业工作，吸毒很多，而且已经快 50 岁了。
Maybe he couldn't remember anyone's name.
也许他不记得任何人的名字。
Despite his stale vaudeville sleazy photographer routine, he seemed to be a lot more serious about getting serious than I was.
尽管他的摄影师风格陈旧、歌舞杂耍，但他似乎比我更认真地对待严肃的事情。
After about a month and a half, he told me he was in love with me.
半个月后，他告诉我他爱上了我。
I didn't say the same back because, while I was definitely crazy about him, something was off.
我没有回复同样的话，因为虽然我确实为他着迷，但有些事情不太对劲。
For instance, I sensed that Jake needed to make a connection to other women as well-- everywhere we went.
例如，我感觉到杰克也需要与其他女性建立联系——无论我们走到哪里。
Like the sales lady at CVS.
就像 CVS 的销售小姐一样。
Who the hell cares about this person?
谁到底在乎这个人？
Can we go?
我们可以走了吗？
Do you really need her to think you're terrific?
你真的需要她认为你很棒吗？
A month later, we went to New York for work and Thanksgiving.
一个月后，我们去纽约工作和过感恩节。
And he went down to use the building's gym.
他下楼去使用大楼的健身房。
Ad his journal was right there.
他的日记就在那里。
Right there.
就在那里。
I'd like to tell you that I had some hesitation about whether to open this thing up and read it.
我想告诉你，我对于是否打开这篇文章并阅读它有些犹豫。
That I thought for even one single second about right and wrong.
我哪怕只有一秒钟思考过是非。
But I didn't.
但我没有。
In his diary, there were some interesting entries.
在他的日记中，有一些有趣的条目。
But let's see, the one that jumped out was Friday was Miho, Saturday was Kiku, Sunday was Jeanne.
不过让我们看看，周五跳出来的是 Miho，周六跳出来的是 Kiku，周日跳出来的是 Jeanne。
Miho and Kiku are clearly women's names.
Miho和Kiku显然是女性的名字。
So again, that was Friday was Miho, Saturday was Kiku, Sunday was Jeanne.
再说一遍，周五是 Miho，周六是 Kiku，周日是 Jeanne。
And then he wrote, "What's going on with me?" Three women in three days?
然后他写道：“我怎么了？”三天三个女人？
What's going on with you?
你怎么了？
Well, a lot, apparently.
嗯，显然很多。
And then I read that he did not have an attraction to-- page turn-- white women.
然后我读到他对——翻页——白人女性没有吸引力。
White women like me.
像我这样的白人女性。
I knew he had dated some Asian women and his ex-wife was Asian.
我知道他和一些亚洲女性约会过，他的前妻是亚洲人。
He had Asian assistants, but I didn't think too much about it.
他有亚洲助理，但我没有想太多。
I guess that's why I got Sunday.
我想这就是我有周日的原因。
Maybe it was my fault.
也许是我的错。
I probably should have said right at the start of the relationship, I'm not Asian-- before anyone got hurt.
我可能应该在关系开始时就说，我不是亚洲人——在任何人受伤之前。
Me.
我。
Before I got hurt.
在我受伤之前。
I felt like I had been thrown across the room.
我感觉自己被扔到了房间的另一边。
Delusion is one thing.
妄想是一回事。
Self-delusion is in my bones.
自欺欺人是我骨子里的。
But lying?
但说谎呢？
Those aren't my people, liars.
这些人不是我的人，骗子。
There's no style in lying.
说谎没有风格。
There's no honor, no panache.
没有荣誉，没有气派。
And there was no need.
没有必要。
I was going way slower than he was, had, in fact, suggested to him that we keep things loose, see other people.
我的速度比他慢得多，事实上，我曾向他建议我们保持宽松，看看其他人。
But he insisted he did not want to see other people.
但他坚称他不想见其他人。
I then read in the journal, "There are some real red flags with Jeanne."
然后我在日记中读到，“珍妮有一些真正的危险信号。”
Red flags, me.
红旗，我。
I've got red flags.
我有危险信号。
I've been flagged.
我已经被标记了。
You're banging two other women on this page alone and you flag me?
你一个人在这个页面上和另外两个女人上床，还举报我？
I decided then and there that I had just been handed my new stage name, Redd Flaggs-- two D's, two G's.
我当时就决定，我刚刚得到了我的新艺名，雷德·弗拉格斯——两个 D，两个 G。
I stopped reading, and grabbed my jacket, and headed out to meet my friends.
我停止阅读，抓起夹克，出去见朋友。
I texted him what I had done, and said I would get my things later.
我给他发短信说我做了什么，并说我稍后会拿我的东西。
I got a text back saying, "Don't run, Jeanne.
我收到一条短信说：“别跑，珍妮。
Talk."
说话吧。”
Don't run?
不跑吗？
Don't run?
不跑吗？
I can't put on my Nikes fast enough, Fox.
我穿耐克鞋的速度不够快，福克斯。
I never talked to him again.
我再也没有和他说过话。
The following morning, I drove to a house in the country for Thanksgiving with my sister, and her husband, and two kids, and a bunch of old friends.
第二天早上，我和姐姐、她的丈夫、两个孩子以及一群老朋友开车去乡下的一所房子过感恩节。
I had woken up sick, and by the time the car pulled into the driveway, I had laryngitis and couldn't speak.
我醒来时感到不适，当汽车驶入车道时，我患有喉炎并且无法说话。
So for the next two days, in this house in the woods, I couldn't say a word.
于是接下来的两天，在这间树林里的房子里，我一句话也说不出来。
I sat by the blazing fire outside, the white girl whose boyfriend didn't like white girls.
我坐在外面熊熊燃烧的火边，这个白人女孩的男朋友不喜欢白人女孩。
Yes, he was a jerk.
是的，他是个混蛋。
But I was a snoop.
但我是个窥探者。
I now actually felt bad about what I'd done.
我现在真的对自己的所作所为感到难过。
That night, everyone else took turns telling me their snooping stories, trying to cheer me up.
那天晚上，其他人轮流给我讲他们的窥探故事，想让我高兴起来。
My favorite was one from my sister, Liz.
我最喜欢的是我姐姐莉兹的一件作品。
He started out-- it was one of those relationships where he started out super enthusiastic, like showing up at my office and calling all the time.
他开始时——这是他一开始非常热情的关系之一，比如出现在我的办公室并一直打电话。
And giving me presents, and really, really into it.
还给我送礼物，而且非常非常喜欢。
This was back when she was about 24 and dating this musician.
那是在她 24 岁左右和这位音乐家约会的时候。
After four months, it went suddenly, unexpectedly cold.
四个月后，天气突然变冷，出乎意料。
So I just wanted to find out what happened and why he changed his opinion.
所以我只是想知道发生了什么事以及他为什么改变了看法。
I was at his apartment.
我在他的公寓里。
He went into the shower, and he left his diary sitting out, which is something-- he was always writing in his diary.
他走进淋浴间，把日记留在外面，这是他总是在日记里写的。
It was just sitting there, sort of burning a hole in the nightstand, as I was sitting on the bed.
当我坐在床上时，它就坐在那里，在床头柜上烧了一个洞。
And I finally couldn't take it anymore.
而我终于受不了了。
I just figured, I'll just take one little peek.
我只是想，我就看一眼。
Just to sort of see what he's thinking about.
就是想看看他在想什么。
And you get that feeling when you're going out with someone, you don't really know them, and you're just trying to get to know them better.
当你和某人出去时，你会有这样的感觉，你并不真正了解他们，而你只是想更好地了解他们。
So the first page I opened to I see what basically looks like a to-do list.
因此，我打开的第一页基本上看起来像是一个待办事项列表。
And it's like, buy new guitar picks, get air conditioner fixed, call Grandma on her birthday, or something.
就像，买新的吉他拨片，修好空调，在奶奶生日那天给她打电话，等等。
And number four was break up with Liz.
第四是与莉兹分手。
So it was just like the saddest-- it was the most mundane list of boring things that he eventually had to get around to doing.
所以这就像最悲伤的事情一样——这是他最终不得不抽出时间做的最平凡的无聊事情清单。
And I was the fourth on the list?
我是名单上的第四个？
And then, I guess looking for more info, I just kind of quickly flipped through to see a couple things.
然后，我想在寻找更多信息时，我只是快速浏览了一下，看到了一些东西。
And just, my eye-- your eye is just searching for your own name.
只是，我的眼睛——你的眼睛只是在寻找你自己的名字。
And I saw something about like, problems with Liz.
我看到了莉兹的一些问题。
And one was like, Liz's boobs are too big.
有人说，莉兹的胸部太大了。
And I was like, what kind of person says that about someone?
我当时就想，什么样的人会这样评价某人？
It wasn't like I was 80 years old, and I had like the world's saggiest ones.
我并没有80岁，而且我的下垂程度是世界上最下垂的。
I was like, are you crazy?
我当时想，你疯了吗？
After reading his diary, she ran home and called him up and broke up with him, beating him to the punch, basically.
读完他的日记后，她跑回家给他打电话并与他分手，基本上是先发制人。
Liz isn't all that hung up on snooping being wrong.
莉兹并不热衷于窥探错误。
She just feels like it always bite you in the butt.
她只是觉得它总是咬你的屁股。
And she's right.
她是对的。
Reading Jake's journal did bite me in the butt.
读杰克的日记确实让我很受打击。
Some of what I read was so gross, there were unsavory details that I haven't talked about here.
我读到的一些内容非常粗俗，有些令人不快的细节我没有在这里讨论。
Details that I don't like having in my head.
我不喜欢把这些细节记在脑子里。
This is the high price of wanting to know the truth, you know the truth.
这就是想知道真相的高昂代价，你知道真相。
And I don't want to snoop anymore.
而且我也不想再窥探了。
But it wasn't the dumbest thing I've ever done.
但这还不是我做过的最愚蠢的事情。
It erased the question mark that hangs over every relationship at the beginning and gave me a clear answer.
它抹去了每一段关系一开始就笼罩在心头的问号，给了我一个明确的答案。
It was horrible and devastating, and I'm glad I did it.
这是可怕和毁灭性的，我很高兴我做到了。
I mean, without the proper intel, how was I supposed to know Jake was a liar?
我的意思是，如果没有正确的情报，我怎么知道杰克是个骗子？
My sister, Liz, even liked him.
我的妹妹莉兹甚至喜欢他。
He was just always like peppy and funny.
他总是充满活力和有趣。
And was like, huggy.
就像，拥抱。
And I don't know.
我不知道。
Calling everyone beautiful, and sexy, and foxy.
称每个人都是美丽的、性感的、狡猾的。
I don't think I'll ever read anyone's journal again.
我想我再也不会读任何人的日记了。
I never want to know what someone thinks of me in that kind of way ever again.
我再也不想知道有人以这种方式看待我了。
It's too intense.
太激烈了。
I know I'm not Asian.
我知道我不是亚洲人。
I know I had reservations about Jake, instincts, which is why I read the journal.
我知道我对杰克有所保留，本能，这就是我读这本日记的原因。
Jeanne Darst.
珍妮·达斯特。
She's the author of the memoir, Fiction Ruined My Family.
她是回忆录《小说毁了我的家庭》的作者。
She is single.
她是单身。
[MUSIC - "LOVE'S GONE BAD," CHRIS CLARK]
[音乐 - “爱情变坏了”，克里斯·克拉克]
Well, our program was produced today by Jonathan Menjivar and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Sarah Koenig, Miki Meek, Lisa Pollak, Brian Reed, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Jonathan Menjivar 和我本人制作，参与人员包括 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Sarah Koenig、Miki Meek、Lisa Pollak、Brian Reed、Robyn Semien、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Seth Lind is our production manager.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的生产经理。
Emily Condon is our office manager.
艾米丽·康登 (Emily Condon) 是我们的办公室经理。
Production help from Matt Kilty.
马特·基尔蒂 (Matt Kilty) 提供制作帮助。
Scouting help from Elna Baker.
艾尔娜·贝克 (Elna Baker) 提供球探帮助。
Music help from Damien Graef and Rob Geddis.
Damien Graef 和 Rob Geddis 提供音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Kurt Braunohler, the guy in Act One, used to tell a version of his rumspringa story on stage-- he's a comedian-- in a show called, "The Amish Guide to [BLEEP]."
[致谢] 第一幕中的库尔特·布劳诺勒 (Kurt Braunohler) 曾经在一个名为“阿米什 [BLEEP] 指南”的节目中在舞台上讲述他的 rumspringa 故事的一个版本——他是一名喜剧演员。
Kristy Kruger who sang the song at the top of the show is on the internet at kristykruger.com.
克里斯蒂·克鲁格 (Kristy Kruger) 在节目的开头演唱了这首歌，其网站为 kristykruger.com。
Both Kristy and Kruger are spelled with a K.
Kristy 和 Kruger 的拼写都是 K。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our show by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的演出进行 WBEZ 管理监督。
I keep asking him to come onto the radio program and do his Michael Jackson imitation.
我一直要求他参加广播节目并模仿迈克尔·杰克逊。
He always says--
他总是说——
Oh, that sounds nice.
哦，听起来不错。
OK.
好的。
Let me think about it.
让我考虑一下。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life .
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。