438: Father's Day 2011 - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #438 | June 12, 2015 438: Father's Day 2011 Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 438 集 | 2015 年 6 月 12 日 438：2011 年父亲节 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Elena's dad moved to China, but here's the kind of thing that he does.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 埃琳娜的父亲搬到了中国，但他做了这样的事。
On Christmas Eve every year, Elena and her mom drive from Madison, Wisconsin, to her grandmother's down in Chicago.
每年圣诞节前夕，埃琳娜和她的妈妈都会从威斯康星州麦迪逊开车到她在芝加哥的祖母家。
So he-- since he's overseas, he doesn't make that trip with us anymore.
所以他——因为他在海外，所以他不再和我们一起旅行了。
So he'll watch the weather, and send me emails about how the drive's going to be.
所以他会观察天气，并向我发送电子邮件，告知驾驶情况。
A recent email began comparing the temperatures in Wisconsin with temperatures in Illinois, and warning her that quote "the greater danger will lie in the colder Wisconsin portion, hazardously slipping from water to ice and back." Elena read me the letter.
最近的一封电子邮件开始将威斯康星州的气温与伊利诺伊州的气温进行比较，并警告她，“更大的危险将存在于较冷的威斯康星州部分，危险地从水滑到冰再滑回来。”埃琳娜给我读了这封信。
"Icy conditions could suddenly appear, particularly on bridges and overpasses.
“结冰的情况可能会突然出现，特别是在桥梁和立交桥上。
In such conditions, I test periodically by first slowing down, then, with no traffic around, just touch the brakes a bit to test for slippage.
在这种情况下，我会定期进行测试，首先减速，然后在周围没有交通的情况下，稍微踩一下刹车来测试打滑情况。
If any at all, slow down and maintain plenty of distance from cars ahead.
如果有的话，请减速并与前方车辆保持足够的距离。
Let the fools and cowboys roar on to their wreckage."
让傻瓜和牛仔们向他们的残骸咆哮吧。”
You can't that?
你不能这样吗？
"Let the fools and cowboys roar on to their wreckage." In case you're wondering, when Elena got this letter, she had been driving in snow and ice for over a decade.
“让傻瓜和牛仔们向他们的残骸咆哮吧。”如果您想知道，当埃琳娜收到这封信时，她已经在冰雪中开车十多年了。
"If you feel yourself slipping, steer gently towards the edge of the highway where the crusty, accumulated snow and ice may keep you from spinning out.
“如果你感觉自己在打滑，请轻轻转向高速公路边缘，那里积雪和结冰可能会阻止你打滑。
Sometimes there's a residue of sand on the shoulder and coarser pavement to grip.
有时路肩上会残留沙子，路面也比较粗糙，难以抓握。
Sorry to give you advice, but I'm just passing on the fruits of a million miles in all kinds of weather.
很抱歉给你建议，但我只是在各种天气下传递一百万英里的成果。
Love to all, Dad."
爱所有人，爸爸。”
So what did you make of that?
那么你对此有何看法？
Elena Well, I mean, it's pretty typical.
埃琳娜：嗯，我的意思是，这很典型。
I said it reminds me of a manual for someone who's never driven in winter before.
我说这让我想起了一本为以前从未在冬天开车过的人准备的手册。
It's a mix of, I rolled my eyes, and, oh gosh, here we go again.
这是一个混合体，我翻了个白眼，然后，哦天哪，我们又来了。
But, at the same time, I thought it was really sweet and endearing.
但与此同时，我觉得这真的很甜蜜很可爱。
You know?
你知道？
Dads, man.
爸爸们，伙计。
We guys can have a hard time reaching out and telling our kids we love them.
我们这些人可能很难向我们的孩子伸出援手并告诉他们我们爱他们。
Take Jessica, whose father, a farmer who didn't really show his feelings much through physical affection.
以杰西卡为例，她的父亲是一位农民，很少通过身体上的感情来表达自己的感情。
One day, when she was around 14, out of the blue walked up to her, and started patting her on the shoulder.
有一天，当她14岁左右时，突然走到她面前，开始拍拍她的肩膀。
And she says, soon he was doing this all the time.
她说，很快他就一直这样做了。
He did this every day to her.
他每天都对她这样做。
But eventually it came to a point where I really, really disliked it.
但最终到了我真的非常不喜欢它的地步。
I would dread it.
我会害怕的。
I would know it was coming.
我就知道它即将到来。
I could hear him approaching behind.
我听见他在后面靠近。
And even developed a sense to realize, where is my dad?
甚至产生了一种意识，意识到我的爸爸在哪里？
When is this going to happen?
这什么时候会发生？
She asked him to stop, he wasn't able to stop.
她叫他停下来，他却停不下来。
She couldn't understand this behavior.
她无法理解这种行为。
And then she found out from her mom that her dad had been listening to a show on Christian radio, she thinks it was probably James Dobson, and he heard somebody on the show give the advice that people in your family need to be touched a certain number of times per day in order to feel loved.
然后她从妈妈那里得知，她爸爸一直在听基督教广播电台的一个节目，她认为这可能是詹姆斯·多布森，他听到节目中有人给出建议，你家里的人需要每天被触摸一定次数才能感受到爱。
And this was how he was going to do it.
他就是这么做的。
What if your dad had actually done this in a way where it was clear that what it was about is that he was trying to show you that he loved you?
如果你父亲实际上这样做的方式很明显他是想向你表明他爱你怎么办？
In other words, what if your dad-- you'd be in the kitchen, and your dad would be in the kitchen, and just out of the blue he would say, hey, I love you.
换句话说，如果你的爸爸 - 你在厨房里，而你的爸爸也在厨房里，他会突然说，嘿，我爱你。
Give me a hug.
给我一个拥抱。
Would that have worked?
那会有效吗？
Um, I would have thought something was wrong with him.
嗯，我还以为他出了什么问题。
Like having a breakdown or something.
比如精神崩溃什么的。
Then it would have been, Mom, what is wrong with Dad?
那么就会是，妈妈，爸爸怎么了？
Yeah, because it's not really his personality either.
是的，因为这也不是他的个性。
He's a little doomed in this.
他在这件事上有点注定了。
Still, guys want to reach out to their kids, right?
尽管如此，男人们还是想接触他们的孩子，对吗？
In 2005, when Rachel was about to head off to college in New York, one night her family's sitting around watching TV--
2005 年，当雷切尔即将前往纽约上大学时，一天晚上，她的家人围坐在一起看电视——
And my dad just turned to me and was, like, I'm building you an emergency terrorist attack kit to take with you to New York City.
我爸爸转向我说，我正在为你制作一个紧急恐怖袭击工具包，带你去纽约市。
It was completely out of nowhere.
它完全是凭空出现的。
But I looked at my mom.
但我看着妈妈。
And my dad has this one particular face he makes when you must take him seriously.
当你必须认真对待我的父亲时，他有一张特别的脸。
His eyebrows get raised, and his eyes go really wide.
他的眉毛扬起，眼睛睁得很大。
And he stares at you.
他盯着你。
And he was doing that, so I didn't argue about it.
他就是这样做的，所以我没有争论。
So the whole summer, my dad would find these different items to pack.
所以整个夏天，我爸爸都会找到这些不同的物品来打包。
Some of them were from weird Internet locations.
其中一些来自奇怪的互联网位置。
You can only get a universal radio that did not require electricity that worked with every cell phone from a crazy website.
你只能从一个疯狂的网站上得到一个不需要电力、适用于所有手机的通用收音机。
This is not something they sell at every store.
这不是每家商店都卖的东西。
So he ordered this special radio, he ordered a NASA issued space blanket and flares and fuel pellets for a stove you only needed fuel pellets for.
所以他订购了这个特殊的收音机，他订购了美国宇航局发行的太空毯和照明弹以及燃料颗粒，用于您只需要燃料颗粒的炉子。
Potassium iodide pills, in the event of a nuclear attack.
发生核攻击时服用碘化钾药丸。
He was really proud every time he found a new object.
每当他发现一个新物体时，他都会感到非常自豪。
Every time he thought of a new thing, he'd say, "I found something new for the box." And I'd laugh, I guess, because what else can you really do but laugh?
每当他想到新东西时，他都会说：“我为盒子找到了新东西。”我想我会笑，因为除了笑你还能做什么呢？
And find it really one of those, oh Dad, type of things.
发现这确实是一种，哦，爸爸，类型的事情。
So it comes time to go to school, Rache's dad packs all the gear into a nondescript three by three cardboard box, seals it up tightly with tape.
到了上学的时间，瑞奇的爸爸把所有的装备都装进一个不起眼的三乘三的纸板箱里，并用胶带紧紧地密封起来。
Writes "Winter Coats" on the side so as not attract any attention, you know, from the wrong element.
在侧面写上“冬季外套”，以免引起任何注意，你知道，因为错误的元素。
And then he sends Rachel off to college in the city that is, to be fair, probably the nation's most likely target for any terrorist attack.
然后他送雷切尔去这座城市上大学，公平地说，这座城市可能是全国最有可能遭受恐怖袭击的目标。
And he gives Rachel just one instruction, don't open this unless there's an attack.
他只给了瑞秋一个指示，除非有攻击，否则不要打开它。
And she follows that instruction for a year.
她遵循了这一指示一年。
And for a second year.
并连续第二年。
So I knew that there was $200 in there, and I was about to leave for London for my junior year.
所以我知道里面有 200 美元，我正准备去伦敦读大三。
And I really wanted to go tanning before the summer really started, so I just decided to open the box and take out the $200.
我真的很想在夏天真正开始之前去晒黑，所以我决定打开盒子，拿出 200 美元。
And I actually, when I did open it to get the money out, there was a letter inside from my dad that basically said, you know, if you're reading this, your mom and I love you and it was just-- oh my God, I'm actually get choked up thinking about it, I've never gotten choked up think about it-- but it was basically a letter.
事实上，当我打开它取出钱时，里面有一封我爸爸写的信，基本上是说，你知道，如果你正在读这篇文章，你妈妈和我爱你，这只是——天哪，我真的因为想到它而哽咽，我从来没有因为想到它而哽咽过——但这基本上是一封信。
Just saying, if you're reading this, something really bad has happened.
只是说，如果你正在读这篇文章，那就说明发生了非常糟糕的事情。
I just want you to know that your mom and I really, really love you.
我只是想让你知道，你妈妈和我真的、真的爱你。
And everything's going to be fine.
一切都会好起来的。
You know, my dad and I, we talk, and we communicate.
你知道，我和我爸爸会说话，我们会交流。
But neither one of is very good at talking about our feelings.
但两人都不擅长谈论我们的感受。
And it was just really sweet.
这真的很甜蜜。
It was really sincere.
实在是太真诚了。
It was like one of the most sincere things I've ever gotten from him.
这就像我从他那里得到的最真诚的东西之一。
Well, today on our radio show, for Father's Day, we have stories of dads reaching out to kids in very dad-like ways, which-- I mean, these stories anyway-- means that dads are not always so direct in saying their feelings.
好吧，今天在我们的广播节目中，在父亲节，我们讲述了爸爸们以非常像爸爸的方式向孩子们伸出援手的故事，这——我的意思是，无论如何，这些故事——意味着爸爸们并不总是那么直接地表达他们的感受。
They use the tools that they know.
他们使用他们知道的工具。
Which means instructions.
这意味着指令。
Which means disaster preparedness.
这意味着备灾。
Or, like my dad, one of the big ways that he can show his love is by helping me every year with my taxes, which I love.
或者，像我父亲一样，他表达爱的重要方式之一就是每年帮助我纳税，这是我所喜欢的。
I love my dad.
我爱我的爸爸。
Anyway, we have Jonathan Goldstein, we have Michael Ian Black, we have a dad who was not born in this country and has yet to learn the ways of American dads, which are very, very tricky.
不管怎样，我们有乔纳森·戈德斯坦，我们有迈克尔·伊恩·布莱克，我们有一个不是出生在这个国家的父亲，他还没有学习美国父亲的方式，这是非常非常棘手的。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass, stay with us.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，和我们在一起吧。
Act one, "Astro boy meet robot dad." We start with this story of a dad and kid and the space between them.
第一幕，“阿童木男孩遇见机器人爸爸”。我们从一个父亲和孩子以及他们之间的空间的故事开始。
From Michael Ian Black.
来自迈克尔·伊恩·布莱克。
My own father wasn't the best father.
我自己的父亲不是最好的父亲。
Not because he didn't love us, but because he simply didn't know how to be around kids.
不是因为他不爱我们，而是因为他根本不知道如何与孩子们相处。
He wasn't socially adept with adults, either, but with children he was hopeless.
他也不擅长与成年人相处，但与孩子们相处时他却毫无希望。
He didn't wrestle Or make dumb faces.
他没有摔跤，也没有做鬼脸。
Or play catch.
或者玩接球游戏。
Once he bought me a baseball mitt for my birthday, which I loved, except for the fact that I am a lefty and he bought me a right-handed mitt.
有一次他给我买了一只棒球手套作为我的生日礼物，我很喜欢它，除了我是左撇子，他给我买了一只右手手套。
It seemed equally possible to me that he was either unaware that baseball mitts came for both righties and lefties, or that he did not know that I am left-handed.
在我看来，同样有可能的是，他要么不知道棒球手套既适合右撇子，又适合左撇子，或者他不知道我是左撇子。
He was the first person I ever knew who owned his own computer.
他是我认识的第一个拥有自己电脑的人。
It was a hulking Tandy TRS-80.
那是一辆笨重的 Tandy TRS-80。
It did so much less than my brother and I did, and yet he spent so much more time interacting with the computer than with us.
它所做的事情比我和我兄弟少得多，但他与计算机互动的时间却比与我们互动的时间多得多。
A popular activity with my dad on the weekends, when we visited him, was to hand my brother and I each a plastic bucket and tell us to go outside and pick the rocks out of his lawn.
周末拜访我父亲时，他最喜欢做的一项活动就是递给我和弟弟每人一个塑料桶，并告诉我们到外面去捡他草坪上的石头。
He called the game "go pick up rocks." So much fun.
他称这个游戏为“捡石头”。太有趣了。
Here's how he died.
他是这样死的。
One night, the police find him pulled over in his car on the side of the highway.
一天晚上，警察发现他把车停在高速公路边。
He's unconscious, with a head injury, the apparent victim of an assault.
他昏迷不醒，头部受伤，显然是袭击的受害者。
They think it occurred in the parking lot at Rutgers University, where he is taking night classes to get his Master's degree.
他们认为这起事件发生在罗格斯大学的停车场，当时他正在那里上夜校以获得硕士学位。
He's 39 years old.
他今年 39 岁。
He is brought to the hospital where doctors perform emergency brain surgery.
他被送往医院，医生在那里进行紧急脑部手术。
My brother Rick and I aren't told until the following day, after he is out of immediate danger.
我和我的兄弟瑞克直到第二天他脱离了紧急危险后才被告知。
My brother and I visit him there a couple days later.
几天后，我和弟弟去那里拜访了他。
I don't remember who took us, Mom or his second wife, Beth.
我不记得是谁带走了我们，妈妈还是他的第二任妻子贝丝。
My parents have been divorced for seven years, and the relationship is terrible.
我的父母已经离婚七年了，关系很糟糕。
So it is probably Beth.
所以很可能是贝丝。
He's distant, and foggy, but recovering.
他很遥远，也很迷茫，但正在恢复。
Then one morning, we're asleep in our bunk beds.
然后有一天早上，我们在双层床上睡着了。
It's early.
现在还早。
A school day.
上学的一天。
I hear Mom come into the room.
我听到妈妈走进房间。
"Boys, wake up," she says.
“孩子们，醒醒吧，”她说。
My eyes open.
我睁开眼睛。
She's standing beside our bed, where she can see us both.
她站在我们的床边，她可以看到我们俩。
She is unhesitant.
她毫不犹豫。
"Your father died last night."
“你父亲昨晚去世了。”
She says it quick, almost blowing the words out with her breath.
她说得很快，几乎是用呼吸吹出来的。
"The hospital gave him a medicine he was allergic to.
“医院给了他一种他过敏的药物。
An accident.
一场意外。
I'm so sorry," she says.
我很抱歉，”她说。
She begins weeping huge convulsive sobs.
她开始抽搐地抽泣。
"I'm so sorry," she says, again and again.
“我很抱歉，”她一遍又一遍地说。
She runs from the room, leaving Rick and me alone.
她跑出了房间，只剩下我和瑞克。
The news is so swift and shocking that I cannot process it at all.
这个消息来得如此之快，如此令人震惊，我根本无法消化。
Dead?
死的？
In what way, dead?
以什么方式，死了？
Above me, I hear Rick began to cry, and after a moment I start crying, too.
我听到在我头顶上方的瑞克开始哭泣，过了一会儿我也开始哭泣。
Because I don't know what else to do.
因为我不知道还能做什么。
Crying seems like the appropriate response, and I'm still young enough, 12, that I can summon tears without too much effort.
哭泣似乎是合适的反应，而且我还很年轻，12岁，我可以毫不费力地流泪。
We lay in bed doing that for a while, and I wonder if I will have to go to school today.
我们在床上躺了一会儿，我想知道今天是否必须去学校。
No. No school today, or for the rest of the week.
不，今天或本周剩余时间不上学。
Mom takes Rick and me to work with her that day, because there's nothing else for us to do.
那天妈妈带里克和我一起去上班，因为我们没有其他事可做。
She and her partner Arlene own a small stationery store in a crummy flea market.
她和她的伴侣阿琳在一个简陋的跳蚤市场上拥有一家小文具店。
The day passes in a haze.
这一天在阴霾中过去。
We don't talk about Dad.
我们不谈论爸爸。
We don't talk about anything.
我们什么也不谈。
On our way home, we stop at the video store.
在回家的路上，我们在音像店停了下来。
Mom tells us we can pick out whatever movie we want.
妈妈告诉我们，我们可以选择任何我们想要的电影。
We choose The Blues Brothers , which is rated R.
我们选择评级为 R 的 The Blues Brothers。
Normally, we are not allowed to rent R-rated movies.
通常情况下，我们不允许租用R级电影。
She glances at the box but doesn't say anything.
她看了一眼盒子，但什么也没说。
Awesome.
惊人的。
A small, shameful part of me begins to see the upside to Dad dying.
我内心的一小部分羞耻的部分开始看到爸爸去世的好处。
For the foreseeable future, it seems like I will get away with whatever I want.
在可预见的未来，我似乎可以为所欲为。
Staying up late, R-rated movies.
熬夜看R级电影。
Maybe even the Holy Grail of childhood contraband, sugar cereals.
甚至可能是童年违禁品的圣杯——糖麦片。
Our cereal cupboard is normally filled with high-fiber, lesbian-friendly cereals, like Product 19 and Special K.
我们的谷物食品柜通常装满了高纤维、适合女同性恋的谷物食品，例如 Product 19 和 Special K。
Yes, Arlene is her partner and her partner.
是的，阿琳是她的伴侣，也是她的伴侣。
Surely a boy who has just lost his father is not to be denied a box or two of Frosted Flakes in his grief.
当然，对于一个刚刚失去父亲的男孩来说，在他的悲伤中，他不会被剥夺一两盒糖霜片。
Surely not.
当然不是。
Even as I am having these thoughts, I am aware what a horrible person I must be.
即使我有这些想法，我也知道我一定是一个多么可怕的人。
Who thinks like this?
谁有这样的想法？
Who thinks about using the death of a parent as a means to get sugar?
谁会想到利用父母的去世来获取糖分呢？
As it turns out, me.
事实证明，我。
Why do I not feel tormented with grief?
为什么我不感到悲伤的折磨？
Isn't that what you're supposed to feel when a parent dies?
当父母去世时，你不应该有这种感觉吗？
Am I defective?
我有缺陷吗？
We have nothing to do before the funeral two days from now, so Rick and I sit around the basement by ourselves, watching game shows and soap operas.
两天后的葬礼之前我们没什么事可做，所以里克和我独自坐在地下室周围，看游戏节目和肥皂剧。
We don't talk about it.
我们不谈论它。
Anyway, what is there to say?
无论如何，有什么可说的呢？
"It sucks that Dad died." "Pretty much." "Can you turn The Price is Right on?" "Sure."
“爸爸去世了，真是太可惜了。” “差不多了。” “你能打开‘价格合适’吗？” “当然。”
I keep flashing back to an incident that happened a year or so before, when Dad was dropping us off at home after one of our weekends with him.
我不断回想起大约一年前发生的一件事，当时爸爸和他度过了一个周末，送我们回家。
He was not a demonstrative man, and it occurred to me that I couldn't remember him ever telling me that he loved me.
他不是一个外露的人，我突然想到，我不记得他曾对我说过他爱我。
I didn't doubt that he did, but he'd never said it, and I had never said it to him.
我毫不怀疑他确实这么做了，但他从来没有说过，我也从来没有对他说过。
So I decided to tell him I loved him.
所以我决定告诉他我爱他。
I'm not sure why I felt the need to do it at that moment, it just seemed important.
我不知道为什么在那一刻我觉得有必要这样做，它看起来很重要。
That night, I waited for Rick and our younger sister Susan to get out of the car.
那天晚上，我等瑞克和妹妹苏珊下车。
When they were clear, I gathered up my courage, and blurted out, "I love you, Dad." Then I ran from the car, up the sidewalk, and into the house.
当他们听清楚后，我鼓起勇气，脱口而出：“爸爸，我爱你。”然后我下了车，沿着人行道跑进了房子。
If he responded, I never heard.
如果他回应的话，我从来没有听到过。
That's what I keep thinking about in the basement as Rick and I watch the Big Showcase Showdown wheel on The Price is Right , spinning on its axis, around and around and around.
这就是我在地下室里一直思考的问题，当时我和瑞克正在观看《价格是对的》中的大型展示摊牌轮，它绕着它的轴旋转，一圈又一圈，一圈又一圈。
The next day, our stepmother Beth picks us up, and we drive with her to the funeral home, a saggy, Gothic house near the highway.
第二天，我们的继母贝丝来接我们，我们和她一起开车去殡仪馆，那是一栋靠近高速公路的下垂的哥特式房子。
Inside, the place suffocates from wood and carpet.
在里面，这个地方因木头和地毯而令人窒息。
Beth asks if I want to go into the viewing where they've got Dad.
贝丝问我是否愿意去看他们有爸爸的地方。
"In a minute," I say, taking a seat on the bench in the hallway.
“等一下，”我说，在走廊的长凳上坐下。
She and Rick walk in to the room together, and I sit by myself.
她和瑞克一起走进房间，我独自坐着。
I do not want to go in.
我不想进去。
Absolutely do not want to go.
绝对不想去。
It's going to be creepy and I do not care for creepy things.
这会很令人毛骨悚然，我不喜欢令人毛骨悚然的事情。
Even Scooby Doo stresses me out.
就连史酷比也让我感到压力重重。
There's a lot of people milling around that I do not recognize.
周围有很多我不认识的人。
Work friends, maybe.
工作上的朋友，也许吧。
People he knew from his neighborhood.
他从邻居那里认识的人。
My aunt Jane is also there with our cousins.
我的简阿姨和我们的表兄弟姐妹也在那里。
My father's father, who we rarely see, is there.
我们很少见到的我父亲的父亲就在那里。
What's it like for him?
他感觉怎么样？
He doesn't say much.
他话不多。
He doesn't cry, and he doesn't hug me or even shake my hand.
他没有哭，也没有拥抱我，甚至没有握我的手。
All in all, he seems remarkably unperturbed.
总而言之，他看起来异常平静。
He used to be a cop.
他曾经是一名警察。
He lives another 25 years, but I never see him again.
他又活了25年，但我再也没有见过他。
Somebody checks on me.
有人检查我。
Am I OK?
我还好吗？
I nod, yeah, yeah.
我点头，是啊是啊。
Never better.
从来没有更好过。
My new suit is uncomfortable and itchy around the armpits.
我的新衣服不舒服，而且腋窝周围很痒。
Also I feel like I can't breathe and I might throw up.
我也觉得我无法呼吸，我可能会呕吐。
I'm good.
我很好。
Michael Ian Black reading an excerpt from this book that he's writing called You're Not Doing It Right , which comes out early next year.
迈克尔·伊恩·布莱克 (Michael Ian Black) 正在阅读他正在撰写的《你没有做对》一书的摘录，该书将于明年初出版。
He has a stand-up comedy special airing on Comedy Central this August.
今年八月，他在喜剧中心播出了一部单口喜剧特别节目。
[MUSIC -- "PAPA WAS TOO" BY JOE TEX]
[音乐 -- JOE TEX 的《PAPA WAS TOO》]
Act two, "I just called to say-- something that is very hard to say, that I really should say more often..." Well, now we'll hear another case study of a dad who has trouble saying a certain phrase to his child.
第二幕，“我只是打电话来说——一些很难说的事情，我真的应该更经常地说……”好吧，现在我们将听到另一个案例研究，一个父亲很难对他的孩子说某个短语。
And the dad in this case gets put to the test.
在这种情况下，父亲受到了考验。
Jonathan Menjivar has this story about this tough dad, and his now tough-skinned kid.
乔纳森·门吉瓦 (Jonathan Menjivar) 有一个关于这位强硬的父亲和他现在皮肤坚韧的孩子的故事。
The kid in the story is a girl.
故事里的孩子是个女孩。
Her name is Naomi Azar and she's the youngest of four kids.
她的名字叫娜奥米·阿扎尔，是四个孩子中最小的一个。
The baby.
宝贝。
She's in her 30s now, but she says that as a child she was afraid of her dad.
她现在 30 多岁了，但她说小时候她很害怕她的父亲。
So her sister would hold her hand--
所以她姐姐会握住她的手——
And my sister would take me to him and gently help me stroke his back, to teach me that he's OK, he's not going to bite.
我姐姐会把我带到他身边，轻轻地帮我抚摸他的背，告诉我他没事，他不会咬人。
Like he was a Doberman or something.
就像他是杜宾犬什么的。
He was that intense.
他就是那么激烈。
His name is Shaul Azar, and he's one of those immigrant tough dads.
他的名字叫沙乌尔·阿扎尔 (Shaul Azar)，他是那些坚强的移民父亲之一。
He was born in the Middle East.
他出生在中东。
As a kid, he sold chickens on the black market.
小时候，他在黑市上卖鸡。
And then he came to America and, from nothing, he starts his own real estate business.
然后他来到美国，白手起家，开始了自己的房地产生意。
The guy owns more than 30 buildings in Chicago now.
这家伙现在在芝加哥拥有 30 多栋建筑。
And if that part sounds familiar, this will too.
如果这部分听起来很熟悉，那么这也会。
I don't know why, but immigrant dads seem to follow a sort of script.
我不知道为什么，但移民爸爸似乎遵循某种脚本。
I say this as someone who is the son of an immigrant dad.
我是作为一个移民父亲的儿子这样说的。
Anyhow, Naomi dad's Shaul, he could be harsh.
无论如何，内奥米爸爸的肖尔，他可能会很严厉。
He once called Naomi stupid and ungrateful because she was chopping peppers the wrong way.
他曾经称内奥米愚蠢且忘恩负义，因为她切辣椒的方式不对。
But he was sweet, too, almost sappy.
但他也很可爱，几乎是多愁善感。
When Naomi was 18, he took her on a trip to Egypt and Jordan.
内奥米 18 岁时，他带她去埃及和约旦旅行。
Just the two of them.
只有他们两个人。
Naomi said she knew her dad loved her, but he never expressed it.
内奥米说她知道父亲爱她，但他从未表达过。
He worked all the time.
他一直在工作。
Gave his kids everything they needed.
给了他的孩子们所需的一切。
That's the way he said I love you.
他就是这样说我爱你的。
I don't really remember hearing him really say those words.
我真的不记得听他说过这些话。
I think the only time I started to hear him tell me that he loved me was when I started to tell him, regularly, that I loved him.
我想我唯一一次开始听到他告诉我他爱我是当我开始定期告诉他我爱他的时候。
Some dads would get off the phone and automatically say "I love you." He'll say, "Thank you very much."
有些爸爸挂断电话后会自动说“我爱你”。他会说：“非常感谢。”
Which is why it was weird when Naomi started getting these calls from her dad.
这就是为什么当内奥米开始接到她父亲的电话时感到很奇怪。
Shaul had been at dinner with one of Naomi's sisters.
绍尔当时正在和内奥米的一位姐妹共进晚餐。
Her sister's husband is a rabbi.
她姐姐的丈夫是一位拉比。
And at dinner, the cantor from his synagogue is there with his wife.
晚餐时，犹太教堂的领唱和他的妻子也在场。
And Shaul is arguing with her-- it doesn't really matter what it was about-- but eventually, the cantor's wife turns to Naomi's dad and asks him if he loves his children.
沙乌尔正在和她争论——争论的是什么并不重要——但最终，领唱的妻子转向内奥米的父亲，问他是否爱他的孩子们。
The cantor's wife basically called him on the fact that he feels all this love and respect for his children-- she's assuming, but I believe he does-- but that he doesn't ever express it.
领唱的妻子基本上给他打电话，因为他感受到了对他的孩子们的所有爱和尊重——她是这么认为的，但我相信他确实如此——但他从来没有表达过。
And really he should be telling us that he loves us.
他真的应该告诉我们他爱我们。
And she basically asks him to prove it.
她基本上要求他证明这一点。
She gives him this challenge.
她给了他这个挑战。
She tells Shaul, I want you to call each of your four children, every day, for a month.
她告诉 Shaul，我希望你每天都给你的四个孩子打电话，持续一个月。
And when you call them, I want you to tell them "I love you." Naomi was on vacation when he called the first time.
当你打电话给他们时，我希望你告诉他们“我爱你”。当他第一次打电话时，内奥米正在度假。
Naomi, this is Daddy [?
内奥米，这是爸爸[？
Warbuck ?].
沃巴克？]。
I heard that you rented a cabin and you're having fun.
听说你租了一间小屋，玩得很开心。
I'm very, very proud of you.
我非常非常为你感到骄傲。
And somebody, you know, the cantor's wife, Sydney, said to me I should call up all my children every day and tell them that I love them.
有人，你知道，领唱的妻子悉尼对我说，我应该每天给我所有的孩子打电话，告诉他们我爱他们。
So I'm doing what she tells me to do.
所以我就按照她告诉我的去做。
And she's the first one.
而她是第一个。
Shaul Azar OK, and you are the first one I am calling.
Shaul Azar 好的，我第一个给你打电话。
Does it make any difference?
有什么区别吗？
Let me know, please.
请告诉我。
Bye.
再见。
I was really surprised, and I was really touched.
我真的很惊讶，也真的很感动。
It was really sweet to hear him say it, and even just the tone of his voice around it.
听到他这么说真的很甜蜜，甚至只是他说话的语气。
Like, my dad, really?
就像，我的爸爸，真的吗？
He's going to call me every day?
他会每天给我打电话吗？
He's going to do that kind of thing?
他会做那种事吗？
He is going to open himself up in this way?
他要以这种方式公开自己吗？
He didn't call the next day.
第二天他没有打电话。
But the day after that, he tried to make up for it, though he clearly has his eyes on the finish line.
但第二天，他试图弥补这一点，尽管他显然把目光放在了终点线上。
Naomi, this is the third day, and I missed yesterday.
内奥米，这是第三天了，昨天我错过了。
So I'm telling you twice.
所以我告诉你两次。
I love you, one for yesterday.
我爱你，就在昨天。
And I love you, one for today.
我爱你，就在今天。
I cannot wait until the month is over.
我等不及这个月结束了。
Naomi, this is the third day.
内奥米，这是第三天了。
I'm saying love you again.
我又说爱你了
Twenty-seven days left.
还剩下二十七天。
So, what have you been doing, did it snow in New York?
那么，你在做什么，纽约下雪了吗？
The next day he didn't call, or the day after that.
第二天，或者第三天，他没有打电话。
Or the one after that either.
或者之后的那个。
Three days.
三天。
That's all he could handle.
他能承受的就只有这些了。
His big experiment was over.
他的大实验结束了。
Hello?
你好？
Naomi Azar [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE].
娜奥米·阿扎尔 [外语]。
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE].
[说外语]。
Naomi Azar [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE].
娜奥米·阿扎尔 [外语]。
This is of course Naomi's dad, Shaul Azar.
这当然是娜奥米的父亲，肖尔·阿扎尔。
So I want to introduce you to Jonathan, he's on the phone.
我想向您介绍乔纳森，他正在打电话。
Yeah, my name's Jonathan.
是的，我的名字是乔纳森。
Shaul Azar Good morning, Jonathan.
绍尔·阿扎尔 早上好，乔纳森。
Good morning, how are you?
早上好，你好吗？
Shaul Azar OK.
沙乌尔·阿扎尔 好的。
Talk to me.
跟我说话。
It's nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你。
Shaul Azar Thank you.
绍尔·阿扎尔 谢谢。
So, Naomi's been explaining this challenge that you were put on, to call each of your kids.
所以，内奥米一直在解释给你的每个孩子打电话的挑战。
And then she explained to me that it only lasted three days.
然后她向我解释说这只持续了三天。
Right.
正确的。
[LAUGHS] Jonathan Menjivar What happened?
[笑] 乔纳森·门吉瓦尔 发生了什么？
Well, she gave me a challenge for a month.
好吧，她给了我一个月的挑战。
I just felt funny.
我只是觉得好笑。
I felt funny to tell them I love you and this and that.
我觉得很有趣的是告诉他们我爱你以及这个那个。
I felt-- it's not me.
我感觉——这不是我。
And that's why I could not take it more than three days.
这就是为什么我不能忍受超过三天。
[LAUGHTER] It is not by word, it is by feeling.
[笑声]这不是言语，而是感觉。
And all my children know that I love them, and I'll do everything for them.
我所有的孩子都知道我爱他们，我会为他们做一切。
At the beginning, it was fun.
一开始，这很有趣。
But after three days, I felt a little bit phony.
但三天后，我感觉有点虚伪。
Did your parents ever tell you that they loved you?
你的父母有没有告诉过你他们爱你？
Never.
绝不。
They never called me, I love you.
他们从来没有给我打电话，我爱你。
But they loved me.
但他们爱我。
And you knew that.
你知道这一点。
Shaul Azar I always felt that they loved me, because the society was different.
Shaul Azar 我一直觉得他们爱我，因为社会不同。
I believe that parents should tell their children every once in a while, "I love you." But I think parents should tell-- maybe when they were small, of course we told them that we love them.
我认为父母应该时不时地对孩子说：“我爱你”。但我认为父母应该告诉他们——也许在他们还小的时候，我们当然告诉他们我们爱他们。
But now they are all married, and you don't want to tell them "I love you."
但现在他们都结婚了，你不想告诉他们“我爱你”。
I have a little girl, yeah.
我有一个小女孩，是的。
Shaul Azar I'm sure you tell her you love her every day.
Shaul Azar 我确信你每天都告诉她你爱她。
I do, yeah.
我愿意，是的。
Shaul Azar But how about when she is 25?
Shaul Azar 但是当她 25 岁时呢？
We'll see, I guess.
我想我们会看到的。
Shaul Azar We'll see.
绍尔·阿扎尔 我们拭目以待。
That's right.
这是正确的。
That's right.
这是正确的。
[LAUGHTER] Maybe I should have done it.
[笑声]也许我应该这么做。
I don't know.
我不知道。
Naomi, what difference-- did you feel lack of love if I did not do it?
内奥米，如果我不这么做，你会觉得缺乏爱吗？
Well, I wanted you to succeed.
嗯，我希望你成功。
When you say that you felt phony, maybe it was, like, you didn't actually-- you weren't hit with a wave of feeling love every day of the month.
当你说你感觉很虚伪时，也许你实际上并没有——这个月的每一天你都没有感受到爱的浪潮。
And so, for you, it didn't feel genuine to call on a Wednesday when you weren't actually feeling that kind of loving feeling, is that right?
所以，对你来说，当你没有真正感受到那种爱的感觉时，在周三打电话就感觉不真诚，对吗？
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
You see, Jonathan, I love this girl the most.
你看，乔纳森，我最喜欢这个女孩。
But it's just one hair above the rest.
但它只比其他人高出一根头发。
She is a hiker, she likes to travel, she has a bicycle.
她是一名徒步旅行者，她喜欢旅行，她有一辆自行车。
All the things I like.
所有我喜欢的东西。
[LAUGHTER] Naomi Azar She has a bicycle.
[笑声] Naomi Azar 她有一辆自行车。
Naomi, I wanted to ask you, in the first message, your dad says, "does it make any difference, let me know please." So, I guess, did it make a difference?
内奥米，我想问你，在第一条消息中，你爸爸说：“这有什么区别吗，请告诉我。”那么，我想，这有什么不同吗？
Really?
真的吗？
Naomi Azar Yeah.
娜奥米·阿扎尔 是的。
Because I know that you love me, but it's different to hear you say it.
因为我知道你爱我，但听到你说出来却是不同的。
I was excited, and I was proud of you for doing it, Dad.
我很兴奋，我为你做到了这一点感到自豪，爸爸。
Yeah.
是的。
[LAUGHTER] I'll save all of those messages to you.
[笑声]我会把所有这些消息都保存给你。
Jonathan Menjivar, he's a producer on our show.
乔纳森·门吉瓦尔（Jonathan Menjivar），他是我们节目的制片人。
He is celebrating Father's Day with his daughter, Sasha, who is 16 months old.
他正在与 16 个月大的女儿 Sasha 一起庆祝父亲节。
Coming up, the guy who explained to us years ago on our program about the greatest phone message in the world.
接下来是几年前在我们的节目中向我们解释世界上最伟大的电话留言的那个人。
A phone message about why the Little Mermaid can go [BLEEP] herself.
一条关于为什么小美人鱼可以自己发出[BLEEP]声的电话留言。
He's back, for Father's Day, with two daughters.
他带着两个女儿在父亲节回来了。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life , I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today we have a special show for Father's Day this weekend about fathers trying to connect with their kids using whatever flawed means are at their disposal.
今天，我们在本周末为父亲节准备了一场特别节目，讲述父亲们试图使用他们可以使用的任何有缺陷的方式与孩子建立联系。
You know that adage that you don't really understand stuff your parents did until you become an adult yourself?
你知道这句格言吗？直到你自己成为成年人，你才真正理解父母所做的事情？
I have a funny example of that that somebody emailed the radio show about.
我有一个有趣的例子，有人通过电子邮件发送了广播节目。
When Angie was growing up in this small town in Wisconsin, her dad did a lot of goofy stuff that she never thought twice about.
当安吉在威斯康星州的这个小镇长大时，她的父亲做了很多愚蠢的事情，而她从未想过。
He always worked swing shifts, so when should come home from school, he would usually be in the kitchen, packing his lunch to go off to work.
他总是轮班工作，所以当放学回家时，他通常会在厨房里收拾午餐去上班。
And every day when we would pack his lunch-- it was practically every day-- he went sing the Thermos song.
每天，当我们给他打包午餐时——几乎每天——他都会唱《Thermos》之歌。
I would watch him and he'd ask me about my day, and then he would sing me the Thermos song.
我会看着他，他会问我今天过得怎么样，然后他会给我唱热水瓶之歌。
So he would be, like, [SINGING] "I am picking out a Thermos, for you, for you, not an ordinary Thermos, for you, for you." It goes on and it's this goofy little song.
所以他会说，[唱歌]“我正在为你挑选一个保温瓶，为你，而不是一个普通的保温瓶，为你，为你。”它继续下去，这是一首愚蠢的小歌。
Another thing was, every year when the new phone book came out-- I was from a really small town, so the phone book was probably an inch and a half think.
另一件事是，每年当新的电话簿问世时，我来自一个非常小的城镇，所以电话簿可能只有一英寸半。
Right.
正确的。
Angie But he would freak out.
安吉 但他会吓坏的。
And he'd run to the front door.
他会跑到前门。
And he be like, "The new phone book's here.
他会说：“新电话簿在这里。
The new phone book's here." Me and my brother would gather around, and he'd flip through all the pages and he'd be like, "Here we are.
新的电话簿在这里。”我和我的兄弟会聚集在一起，他会翻阅所有页面，然后他会说：“我们到了。
Our name's in print, our name's in print." Every single time, every year, we would do that.
我们的名字印在印刷品上，我们的名字印在印刷品上。”每一次，每年，我们都会这样做。
So when I was in college, my roommate thought I was crazy.
所以当我上大学的时候，我的室友认为我疯了。
I was in the phone book for the first time.
我第一次出现在电话簿中。
And I was like, "The phone book's here, the phone book's here, we have to find ourselves." And I would actually sing the Thermos song, too.
我当时想，“电话簿在这里，电话簿在这里，我们必须找到自己。”我实际上也会唱Thermos 之歌。
Just randomly, when I would pack a lunch, you know you pick up things.
只是随机地，当我打包午餐时，你知道你会收拾东西。
So.
所以。
Once she gets to college, Angie happens to catch a old movie that she had never seen, Steve Martin's 1979 The Jerk .
进入大学后，安吉碰巧看了一部她从未看过的老电影，史蒂夫·马丁 1979 年的《混蛋》。
And it's really not very far into the movie that he gets a job in the gas station.
电影开始不久，他就在加油站找到了一份工作。
He's really excited about working there.
他对在那里工作感到非常兴奋。
And the phone book comes.
电话簿来了。
He freaks out.
他吓坏了。
He just jumps around like my dad did.
他就像我爸爸一样跳来跳去。
And we was, like, "The new phone book's here, the new phone book's here."
我们就像是，“新的电话簿在这里，新的电话簿在这里。”
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
The new phone book's here.
新的电话簿在这里。
The new phone book's here.
新的电话簿在这里。
I wish I could get that excited about nothin'.
我希望我能对任何事情都感到兴奋。
Nothing, are you kidding?
没什么，你开玩笑吧？
Page 73.
第 73 页。
Johnson, Navin R.
约翰逊，纳文 R.
I'm somebody now.
我现在是某人了。
Millions of people look at this book every day.
每天有数百万人阅读这本书。
This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people.
这是一种自发的宣传，你的名字被印在印刷品上，从而吸引人们。
And I immediately saw that, and I was like, holy crap.
我立刻就看到了这一点，我当时就觉得天哪。
That's what we do.
这就是我们所做的。
So I'm watching the movie, and then later on he's falls in love with-- I guess it's Bernadette Peters stars in the movie, I think?
所以我正在看这部电影，然后后来他爱上了——我想是电影中的伯纳黛特·彼得斯主演吧？
Yeah.
是的。
Angie And he sings this song to her.
安吉 他给她唱这首歌。
He's like, "Honey, honey, I wrote you a song."
他就像，“亲爱的，亲爱的，我给你写了一首歌。”
Honey, guess what, I wrote a song for you this morning.
亲爱的，你猜怎么着，今天早上我为你写了一首歌。
[SINGING] Oh, I'm picking out a Thermos for you.
[唱歌]哦，我正在为你挑选一个保温瓶。
Not an ordinary Thermos for you.
对您而言，这不是一个普通的保温瓶。
At this point, I'm just like, whoa, wait a minute.
在这一点上，我只是想，哇，等一下。
Why is he doing that?
他为什么要这么做？
And then I felt sort of wronged.
然后我就觉得有点委屈了。
And so did you call your dad?
那你给你爸爸打电话了吗？
Angie Yeah.
安吉 是的。
I called him up.
我给他打电话。
I was like, hey dad, that's not yours.
我当时想，嘿爸爸，那不是你的。
And he's, like, yeah, I know.
他就像，是的，我知道。
And I was like, dad, it's The Jerk.
我当时想，爸爸，这是混蛋。
And he's like, oh yeah.
他就像，哦，是的。
No, I love that movie.
不，我喜欢那部电影。
And I was like, did it ever occur to you that I'd never seen the movie?
我当时想，你有没有想过我从来没有看过这部电影？
He was like, gosh, no, I never thought about it.
他说，天哪，不，我从来没有想过。
Angie says it is impossible to imagine any part of the story happening with her mom.
安吉说，无法想象故事的任何部分发生在她妈妈身上。
Lifting bits from an old Steve Martin film and planting them into a kid's life without ever thinking to mention where they came from.
从史蒂夫·马丁的一部老电影中提取片段并将它们植入孩子的生活中，而从未想过提及它们来自哪里。
That is just a very dad-like behavior.
这真是一个非常像爸爸的行为。
When a dad sets the rules, it is his world and the kids have to live in it.
当父亲制定规则时，这就是他的世界，孩子们必须生活在其中。
Which brings us to the next act of our show, Act three, "Mr. Baby Monitor."
这让我们进入节目的下一幕，第三幕“婴儿监视器先生”。
Jonathan Goldstein tells this story of a dad and how he runs his house.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦讲述了一位父亲以及他如何经营家庭的故事。
My friend Josh is a stay-at-home dad.
我的朋友乔希是一位全职爸爸。
Recently, someone asked me what Josh did before he was a stay-at-home dad.
最近，有人问我乔什在成为全职爸爸之前做了什么。
And I said, he was a stay-at-home.
我说，他是一个待在家里的人。
Home is where Josh has always shined.
家是乔希一直闪耀的地方。
Home being the place he'd become absorbed in his many projects.
家是他全神贯注于许多项目的地方。
Meticulously categorizing his music collection or stockpiling yet-to-be-read newspapers into tilting monoliths.
仔细地对他的音乐收藏进行分类，或者将尚未阅读的报纸储存成倾斜的巨石。
Or, much to his neighbor's sorrow, teaching himself to play the castanets.
或者，令他的邻居悲伤的是，他自学弹响板。
But now Josh's newest home project, the project that's taken over everything else, is the raising of his 20-month-old twin daughters, Matilda and Juliette.
但现在乔什最新的家庭项目，即接管其他一切的项目，是抚养他 20 个月大的双胞胎女儿玛蒂尔达和朱丽叶。
He brings to it a certain similar thoroughness.
他给它带来了某种类似的彻底性。
Even in the old days, Josh was difficult to get out of the house.
即使在过去，乔什也很难走出家门。
Scheduling a beer together often required the kind of constant back and forth one usually associates with lunar landings.
安排一起喝啤酒通常需要像登月一样不断地来来回回。
But now, getting together is pretty much out of the question.
但现在，想聚在一起已经是不可能了。
None of our friends ever see him, and he pretty much never returns anyone's phone calls.
我们的朋友都没有见过他，他也几乎从不回任何人的电话。
People are starting to give up on Josh, and I guess I was starting to give up too.
人们开始放弃乔希，我想我也开始放弃。
Until a recent conversation I had with his wife, LeeAnn.
直到最近我和他的妻子李安进行了一次谈话。
"Please get him out of the house," she said.
“请把他赶出家门，”她说。
"Even just for an hour." If Josh acts with LeeAnn anywhere near the way he does with me-- that is, hostile, overly didactic, and so controlling as to forbid your use of certain words he doesn't approve of, a constantly growing roster that, at last check included, goo, bum, smoothie and lover-- the woman was in desperate need of a break.
“哪怕只是一个小时。”如果乔什对李安的态度与他对我的态度很相似——即充满敌意、过于说教，而且控制欲很强，禁止你使用他不赞成的某些词语，名单不断增加，最后检查包括“咕咕”、“流浪汉”、“冰沙”和“情人”——这个女人就迫切需要休息一下。
So I decide to just show up at his home with my tape recorder.
所以我决定带着我的录音机去他家。
And in the interest of full disclosure, I should probably also admit that I was motivated by a little something else.
为了充分披露，我可能还应该承认我是受到其他一些事情的激励。
Actually missing the guy.
其实是想念那个人了。
A lot.
很多。
As soon as I walk into the house, Josh starts in.
我一走进房子，乔希就开始进来。
He is standing at the top of the stairs, holding one of his twins, Juliette.
他站在楼梯顶上，抱着他的双胞胎之一朱丽叶。
So, you know what?
那么，你知道吗？
Try to keep a little bit of physical distance from her, because she gets-- like that would be not something to do.
尽量与她保持一点身体距离，因为她会——好像那不是一件该做的事情。
Like, stay over there.
就像，呆在那里。
Josh seems to think the microphone is making me appear sort of creepy.
乔什似乎认为麦克风让我显得有点令人毛骨悚然。
Here you go, Boo Boo.
给你，布布。
Jonathan Goldstein But in his shorts and unkempt beard, talking in a voice reminiscent of Jennifer Tilly, it seems to me that he is the creepy one.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 但他穿着短裤，胡须蓬乱，说话的声音让人想起詹妮弗·蒂莉 (Jennifer Tilly)，在我看来，他才是那个令人毛骨悚然的人。
Creepy and suspicious of why I wanted to record any of this, or do a story about him being a new dad in the first place.
令人毛骨悚然和怀疑为什么我想记录这一切，或者首先写一个关于他作为新爸爸的故事。
Just to say, the fact that you're recording this-- and so I making myself [UNINTELLIGIBLE]-- makes me feel like the greasiest, dirtiest [BLEEP] on the face of the planet.
只是想说，事实上你正在录制这个——所以我让自己变得[无法理解]——让我感觉自己是这个星球上最油腻、最肮脏的[哔]。
It's actually like I'm prostituting my children.
这实际上就像我在卖淫我的孩子一样。
The kids are stripped down to their diapers, Josh is wearing a diaper, too.
孩子们都脱得只剩下尿布，乔希也穿着尿布。
He says it makes the children more comfortable.
他说这让孩子们更舒服。
I think he was wearing one long before he ever had kids.
我认为他在生孩子之前很久就戴着它了。
Yeah, oh, can you please tickle her toes?
是的，哦，你能挠痒她的脚趾吗？
Yah.
嗯。
Ticky, ticky, ticky, ticky, ticky, ticky.
嘀嗒，嘀嗒，嘀嗒，嘀嗒，嘀嗒，嘀嗒。
Josh is protective.
乔什很有保护欲。
Last time I saw him, we took the kids for a walk around the block.
上次我见到他时，我们带着孩子们绕着街区散步。
And as they started to doze in their carriage, fearing they might be awoken, he shushed a revving car, as well as a boy bouncing a ball on the sidewalk.
当他们开始在马车里打瞌睡时，他担心他们会被吵醒，于是他让一辆飞驰的汽车和一个在人行道上弹球的男孩安静下来。
For Josh, being a dad means forcibly remodeling the world so that it conforms to the needs of his children.
对于乔什来说，成为一名父亲意味着强行重塑世界，使其符合孩子们的需求。
No matter what.
无论。
Let me give you-- if there's one word of advice I can give to new parents out there, it's kill your pets now.
让我告诉你——如果我能给新手父母一个建议的话，那就是现在就杀死你的宠物。
Yeah, where are the cats?
是啊，猫在哪里？
Josh Karpati I repeat my earlier statement.
乔什·卡帕蒂 我重复我之前的发言。
While sitting in his yard, I notice an empty wooden rectangular box.
当我坐在他的院子里时，我注意到一个空的长方形木盒子。
Alive and well, two cats sit within it, sunning themselves.
两只猫活蹦乱跳地坐在里面晒太阳。
Josh tells me that the box is a sandbox.
乔什告诉我这个盒子是一个沙箱。
When I ask him where the sand is, I expect him to tell me that sand is too filthy and unsafe for children, that he prefers keeping a sandbox free of sand.
当我问他沙子在哪里时，我希望他告诉我沙子太脏了，对孩子来说不安全，他更喜欢让沙箱里没有沙子。
But instead he tells me that they just haven't gotten around to filling it.
但他却告诉我，他们只是还没有抽出时间来填补它。
We have no time.
我们没有时间。
And you know why we have no time?
你知道为什么我们没有时间吗？
Because we have twins.
因为我们有双胞胎。
Now, that word should be banned.
现在，这个词应该被禁止。
You know what twins actually are?
你知道双胞胎到底是什么吗？
Two [BLEEP] babies at the same time.
同时有两个[BLEEP]婴儿。
So that's what people should say, "Oh, I see you have two [BLEEP] babies at the same time.
所以人们应该这样说：“哦，我看到你同时生了两个[BLEEP]婴儿。
That must be [BLEEP] crazy.
那一定是[哔]疯了。
How do you manage that?" That's what it should be like.
你是怎么处理的？”事情应该是这样的。
Because that's the reality.
因为这就是现实。
Because you think that twins doesn't get the idea across?
因为你认为双胞胎无法理解这个想法？
That's correct.
这是正确的。
People think, oh, I raised-- particularly older people-- I raised two children, I raised three children.
人们会想，哦，我养育了——尤其是老年人——我养育了两个孩子，我养育了三个孩子。
How hard could it be?
这有多难？
They were all different ages.
他们的年龄都不同。
Children are very, very different at different developmental stages.
孩子在不同的发展阶段有很大的不同。
Two [BLEEP] babies at the same time, very, very different.
同时生出两个[BLEEP]婴儿，非常非常不同。
That's all.
就这样。
So nomenclaturally, that's what I have to contribute.
从命名上来说，这就是我必须做出的贡献。
That's my great contribution to parenting philosophy in America.
这是我对美国育儿哲学的巨大贡献。
You feel like you always need to be around.
你觉得你总是需要在身边。
You can't just leave the kids with LeeAnn.
你不能把孩子留给莉安。
That's correct.
这是正确的。
I don't currently quote, unquote "work." And you don't really need the quotes there.
我目前不会引用或取消引用“工作”。而且你真的不需要那里的引号。
I don't make quote, unquote "money." Because I'm here all the time.
我不引用“金钱”。因为我一直都在这里。
It's also a certain style of parenting we have.
这也是我们的一种特定的养育方式。
Which is?
哪个是？
How would you describe that style?
您会如何形容这种风格？
It's called attachment parenting.
这就是所谓的依恋养育。
You try to foster a closeness, so you don't-- not so big on day care, at least in the early years.
你试图培养一种亲密感，所以你没有——在日托上没有那么大，至少在早年是这样。
Not so big on nannies, things like that.
对保姆之类的事情不太热衷。
More on having the parents present.
更多关于让父母在场的信息。
With twins it's a very, very hard philosophy to put into action.
对于双胞胎来说，这是一个非常非常难以付诸实践的哲学。
You know, always got to be present.
你知道，总是必须在场。
So I mean, I haven't gone out to a restaurant, I haven't gone out to a concert, or to a peep show, or anything in a long, long time.
所以我的意思是，我已经很长很长一段时间没有去餐馆了，没有去听音乐会，也没有去看西洋镜，或者任何其他的事情。
It's been over two years that you have just gone out and done something by yourself.
两年多了，你才独自出去做点事情。
Generally speaking.
一般来说。
The exception of an hour here, and hour there, which I usually used to go grocery shopping anyway.
除了这里一个小时，那里一个小时，无论如何我通常都会用来去杂货店购物。
So technically speaking, no, I haven't.
所以从技术上来说，不，我没有。
At all.
完全没有。
Gone anywhere, done anything.
去过任何地方，做过任何事情。
At all.
完全没有。
What with caring for the twins, sorry two [BLEEP] babies, neither he nor LeeAnn have gotten more than a few hours sleep in the past couple of nights.
照顾双胞胎，对不起，两个[BLEEP]婴儿，他和李安在过去的几个晚上都没有睡超过几个小时。
Nevertheless, Josh does admit that, as the girls are approaching their second birthday, things are starting to change.
尽管如此，乔什确实承认，随着女孩们即将迎来两岁生日，事情开始发生变化。
Starting to get a little bit easier.
开始变得容易一些。
Which prompts me to boldly ask the burning question.
这促使我大胆地提出紧迫的问题。
So what do you say?
那你说呢？
I mean, you're talking about how it's hard to organize, and make use of the time.
我的意思是，你说的是组织和利用时间是多么困难。
I mean, I'm here now.
我的意思是，我现在就在这里。
You want to go around the corner and get a souvlaki?
您想绕过拐角处买一份烤肉串吗？
You know, for old time's sake?
你知道吗，为了旧时光？
Not at this time of night.
不是在深夜这个时候。
It can't be done.
这是不可能的。
I mean, it could be done, but it'd be incredibly stress--
我的意思是，这是可以做到的，但压力会很大——
Just for an hour, say.
就说一个小时吧。
Forty-five minutes.
四十五分钟。
You have to understand that you know-- come to me in a year and we can go.
你必须明白，你知道——一年后来找我，我们就可以走了。
But, you know.
但是，你知道。
But, you, you-- Josh Karpati Come to me in six months and we can go.
但是，你，你——乔什·卡帕蒂（Josh Karpati）六个月后来找我，我们就可以走了。
But, but, but you were saying it's starting to change now.
但是，但是，但是你说现在开始改变了。
You don't feel like you can get an hour--
你不觉得你能得到一个小时——
Let me tell you something, when you start to change your clothes, are you ready to walk outside on the street?
我告诉你一件事，当你开始换衣服的时候，你准备好到外面的街上走了吗？
If you only have your undershirt on and no pants?
如果只穿背心，不穿裤子？
Knowing you, probably, that's OK.
认识你，也许，那没关系。
But for most normal people it's probably not the greatest thing in the world.
但对于大多数普通人来说，这可能不是世界上最伟大的事情。
You got a pair of socks and your junk's hanging out.
你有一双袜子，而你的垃圾却挂在外面。
So when LeeAnn came to me, pleading, saying, please, get him out of the house, how do you answer to this?
所以当李安来找我恳求说，请让他离开家时，你如何回答？
Do you think she doesn't know what she's talking about?
你以为她不知道自己在说什么吗？
No, of course she does.
不，她当然知道。
I say the same thing to her.
我对她也说了同样的话。
No-- look, don't make too much of it.
不——听着，别太过分了。
Come on in.
进来吧。
Take your shoes off.
脱掉你的鞋子。
When we get back inside, in spite of the summer heat, Josh closes the living room window due to the fumes of an idling car parked in front of the house.
当我们回到屋里时，尽管夏天很热，乔什还是关上了客厅的窗户，因为房子前面停着一辆空转的汽车发出的尾气。
The other thing is I'd probably-- if you weren't here-- I'd probably yell out the window.
另一件事是我可能——如果你不在这里——我可能会向窗外大喊。
Although the house is hot, the girls are in good spirits.
虽然屋子里很热，但姑娘们的精神却很好。
and they are very, very adorable.
他们非常非常可爱。
But as I start to play with them, Josh tells me I'm not doing it right, and so he offers some helpful instruction.
但当我开始和他们一起玩时，乔什告诉我我做得不对，所以他提供了一些有用的指导。
Tickle her [BLEEP] belly button.
挠痒痒她的肚脐。
Okay.
好的。
Here we go.
开始了。
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
挠痒痒，挠痒痒，挠痒痒。
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
挠痒痒，挠痒痒，挠痒痒。
It's inevitable that the girls will, some day, possibly soon, come to find Josh's neuroses, obsession and paranoia just as difficult as everyone else does.
不可避免的是，有一天，可能很快，女孩们就会发现乔什的神经症、痴迷和偏执，就像其他人一样困难。
And it'll be integral for Uncle Jonny to be there, to commiserate, to trash talk.
乔尼叔叔在场、表示同情、说垃圾话是不可或缺的。
Tickle tickle tickle.
痒痒痒痒。
Oh, she wants to touch your head.
哦，她想摸你的头。
Take your hat off.
脱掉你的帽子。
To nurture their annoyance with Josh so that one day it, too, can grow big and strong.
培养他们对乔什的不满，以便有一天它也能变得更大更强。
He doesn't have much hair.
他没有太多头发。
Jonathan Goldstein No. It's moist.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 不。它很潮湿。
Feel it.
感受一下。
Feel it.
感受一下。
Ira Glass Jonathan Goldstein is the host of the radio show Wiretap , which is heard on the CBC, and on many public radio stations in this country as well.
艾拉·格拉斯·乔纳森·戈尔茨坦 (Ira Glass Jonathan Goldstein) 是广播节目《Wiretap》的主持人，该节目在加拿大广播公司 (CBC) 以及该国的许多公共广播电台上都有收听。
Josh Karpati only allowed to let Jonathan come over and interview him for the radio if we mentioned his Twitter feed, so if you want to hear more words that Josh once banned, @jkarpati.
乔什·卡帕蒂（Josh Karpati）只有在我们提到他的 Twitter 消息时才允许乔纳森过来接受电台采访，所以如果你想听更多乔什曾经禁止的词，@jkarpati。
That is the letter J, K- A- R- P- A- T- I.
那是字母 J、K-A-R-P-A-T-I。
And yeah, follow if you want.
是的，如果你愿意，就关注吧。
Act four, "Bring your child to work detail." For fathers who are locked up for decades behind bars, family relationships suffer, as you'd imagine.
第四幕，“带你的孩子去做细节工作。”正如你想象的那样，对于被关押了数十年的父亲来说，家庭关系会受到影响。
Or even disappear.
甚至消失。
That is, unless, they decide to do something about it.
也就是说，除非他们决定对此采取行动。
Get a little creative.
发挥一点创意。
Michael May has the story, from prison in east Texas.
迈克尔·梅在德克萨斯州东部的监狱里讲述了这个故事。
Daniel Johnson is 66 years old, and he's spent more than half of his life behind bars.
丹尼尔·约翰逊现年 66 岁，一生中大半时间都是在监狱里度过的。
It shows.
它表明。
He's pale, gaunt, and has lost most of his teeth.
他脸色苍白，憔悴不堪，大部分牙齿都脱落了。
Before he went to prison, he'd fathered four children and built a successful insurance business.
在入狱之前，他已经是四个孩子的父亲，并建立了一家成功的保险业务。
But Daniel had a dark side.
但丹尼尔也有阴暗的一面。
I think it was a terrible ego problem I had.
我认为我有一个可怕的自我问题。
I used to be a debonair character, always athletic and I thought that women were pretty much in love with me.
我曾经是一个温文尔雅的人，总是喜欢运动，我认为女人很爱我。
I was married at the time, had a mistress on the side.
那时我已经结婚了，还有一个情妇。
One of those kind of guys that flirted and bounced around from town to town.
那种在城镇之间调情、蹦来跳去的家伙。
I was a businessman, often on trips and so forth.
我是一名商人，经常出差等等。
And I had women wherever I went.
无论我走到哪里，都有女人。
In 1970, he went through a bitter divorce and moved from Illinois to Houston.
1970年，他经历了一场痛苦的离婚，并从伊利诺伊州搬到了休斯敦。
He remarried.
他再婚了。
Then, in 1977, Daniel met a woman who worked at his apartment complex, and he says they made plans to meet.
然后，1977 年，丹尼尔遇到了一位在他的公寓大楼工作的女士，他说他们计划见面。
When he made his move, she said no.
当他采取行动时，她拒绝了。
I had something to drink that day, and when she threw up the rejection, my ego, I don't think tolerated that back then, and I just forced myself upon her.
那天我喝了点东西，当她吐出拒绝时，我的自我，我认为当时无法容忍，我只是强迫自己接受她。
Daniel was convicted of rape and given a sentence of life in prison.
丹尼尔被判犯有强奸罪并被判处终身监禁。
Since then, he's gone through a successful reconciliation with his victim, which she initiated.
从那时起，他与受害者成功实现了和解，这是她发起的。
But his family relationships never recovered.
但他的家庭关系却从未恢复。
I really abandoned my children.
我真的抛弃了我的孩子。
Bradley will be 48.
布拉德利将年满48岁。
Michael is 46.
迈克尔今年 46 岁。
Jacqueline is 45.
杰奎琳 45 岁。
And Tyler would be 34.
泰勒已经 34 岁了。
When I lost them, through my own criminal acts, of course, that put a big void in my heart.
当然，当我因自己的犯罪行为而失去它们时，我的内心深处产生了巨大的空虚。
I remember staying with my mother, like for, I think age four to five.
我记得和我母亲住在一起，大概是四五岁的时候。
But for some reason my mother lost custody.
但由于某种原因，我母亲失去了监护权。
That's Jesse Johnson.
那是杰西·约翰逊。
Same last name as Daniel.
与丹尼尔同姓。
As you'll hear it's an odd coincidence.
正如您所听到的，这是一个奇怪的巧合。
By appearance, the two inmates couldn't be more different.
从外表来看，这两个囚犯截然不同。
Daniel is white and weathered.
丹尼尔脸色苍白，饱经风霜。
And Jesse is 34 years old.
杰西今年 34 岁。
Black with youthful good looks.
黑色搭配青春靓丽的气质。
But they have a lot in common.
但他们有很多共同点。
They're both in prison for sexual assault, and they both know what it feels like to lose family.
他们都因性侵犯而入狱，并且都知道失去家人的感觉。
Jesse never really knew his dad, and after he was separated from his mother at five, his grandmother had to take him in.
杰西从未真正了解他的父亲，五岁时与母亲分开后，他的祖母不得不收留他。
He says she never really took to him, used to beat him.
他说她从来没有真正喜欢过他，常常殴打他。
And he ran away when he was 11.
他11岁时就逃跑了。
Daniel and Jesse connected almost immediately when they met five years ago.
丹尼尔和杰西五年前见面时几乎立刻就产生了联系。
It was during rec time on the yard at Eastham prison in east Texas.
当时正值得克萨斯州东部伊斯特姆监狱院子里的娱乐时间。
We were out in the yard and I pretty much always stayed to myself.
我们在院子里，我几乎总是一个人呆着。
Exercised by myself and so forth.
自己锻炼等等。
And walked around.
并四处走动。
And he was out in the yard, sitting there and as I often would do.
他就在院子里，坐在那里，就像我经常做的那样。
I surely was, that's what it was.
我当然是，就是这样。
And he walked by and he asked me what was I reading.
他走过来问我在读什么。
And I'd walk by and know some of the books that he'd be reading.
我路过时会知道他正在读的一些书。
And they were all motivational type books.
它们都是励志类型的书。
And I showed him the book The Secret .
我给他看了《秘密》这本书。
Then he shared with me this the book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
然后他与我分享了拿破仑·希尔的《思考致富》一书。
And I was like, yeah, I read that one.
我当时想，是的，我读过那篇文章。
I liked that book.
我喜欢那本书。
You know, saying like he read it too.
你知道，说得好像他也读过一样。
The two lived in different cell blocks, but they started meeting each other on the yard almost every day.
两人住在不同的牢房里，但他们几乎每天都在院子里见面。
And an informal mentorship began to develop.
非正式的指导开始发展。
Jesse helped Daniel get in shape, and Daniel answered Jesse's questions about how to start a personal training business.
杰西帮助丹尼尔保持身材，丹尼尔回答了杰西关于如何开展私人培训业务的问题。
If he try to work out for hisself, he'll over do it.
如果他尝试为自己锻炼，他就会做得过度。
He's very competitive.
他很有竞争力。
And so we'll go out on the rec yard every morning.
所以我们每天早上都会去游乐场。
And we work out every day, and we jog.
我们每天都锻炼，慢跑。
He does my exercises and my aerobics.
他帮我做练习和有氧运动。
So what would you tell him about your experience?
那么你会告诉他你的经历吗？
How I would go out and meet customers.
我将如何出去见客户。
How you meet and greet people.
您如何与人见面和打招呼。
How you get business.
如何开展业务。
How you advertise.
你如何做广告。
Each of them told me they were happy to find someone that didn't just want to talk about street life.
他们每个人都告诉我，他们很高兴找到一个不只是想谈论街头生活的人。
Drugs and women and crime.
毒品、妇女和犯罪。
As their friendship developed, they began talking about things besides exercise and business.
随着友谊的发展，他们开始谈论锻炼和生意之外的事情。
Personal stuff.
个人的东西。
Then he would tell me about his family.
然后他会告诉我他的家人。
And that's what really made me get close to him.
这才是真正让我接近他的原因。
I started to feel open, because I wanted a family.
我开始感到开放，因为我想要一个家庭。
I wanted to know how it feels to grow up to be loved.
我想知道长大后被爱是什么感觉。
And he grew up in a loving home.
而且他在一个充满爱的家庭中长大。
You know, with a mother and a father.
你知道，有母亲和父亲。
He was in a good environment, good neighborhood, good community.
他生活在一个良好的环境、良好的邻里、良好的社区中。
And I was, like, envious.
我很羡慕。
I always wanted that kind of life.
我一直想要那样的生活。
And really, I always wanted a father.
说实话，我一直想要一个父亲。
I started to think about him as my dad, I would say, in May of '09.
我想说，从 09 年 5 月起，我就开始把他当作我的父亲了。
In May.
在五月。
But I just kept it to myself.
但我只是把它留给自己。
And then, one day, it slipped out.
然后，有一天，它溜走了。
Jesse was talking to Daniel and he called him Dad.
杰西正在和丹尼尔说话，他叫他爸爸。
It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
这感觉就像是世界上最自然的事情。
Daniel had already taken to calling him son.
丹尼尔已经开始称他为儿子了。
He told me one day, he said, you know-- and he was looking at me as a father anyway-- he kind of called me Dad, you know.
有一天他告诉我，他说，你知道——而且他把我当作父亲看待——他有点叫我爸爸，你知道。
He said, when I was born, I didn't have a father on my birth certificate.
他说，我出生的时候，我的出生证上没有父亲。
I wanted him to adopt me as his son.
我想让他收我为儿子。
And I wanted to have him as my father.
我想让他成为我的父亲。
And he was in agreeance with it.
他也同意这一点。
He was, like, "I'd love to have you as a son." And I was like, yeah?
他就像是，“我很想有你这个儿子。”我当时想，是吗？
Yeah.
是的。
I said, you know, there's a big void in my heart, too, Jesse.
我说，你知道，我心里也有一个很大的空虚，杰西。
I said, I've lost my children.
我说，我已经失去了我的孩子。
And I said, it would wonderful for me to have a son.
我说，如果我能有个儿子就好了。
I'll adopt you.
我会收养你。
That's right.
这是正确的。
They decided they wanted to legally become father and son.
他们决定要合法地成为父子。
And, believe it or not, even in prison, this is possible.
而且，不管你信不信，即使在监狱里，这也是可能的。
Turned out to be a simple procedure for an adult to adopt another adult in Texas.
事实证明，在德克萨斯州，一个成年人收养另一个成年人是一个简单的程序。
Both parties have to agree to it, and a judge must sign off on the adoption papers.
双方必须同意，法官必须在收养文件上签字。
Daniel filed the paperwork and then waited.
丹尼尔提交了文件，然后等待。
Months went by.
几个月过去了。
And finally the judge wrote me a letter.
最后法官给我写了一封信。
And he said, "Mr. Johnson, why do you want to adopt him?" And in reply to that letter, I said, "There's a lot of love of a father within me.
他说：“约翰逊先生，你为什么想收养他？”在回复那封信时，我说：“我内心充满了父亲的爱。
This love has found a child.
这份爱找到了一个孩子。
It's found a home.
它找到了家。
It's someone I can call my son, who is not perfect, and I'm far from perfect.
我可以称他为我的儿子，他并不完美，而我也远非完美。
And we're going to do just fine, because I've accepted him, in my heart, as my son."
我们会做得很好，因为我已经在心里接受了他作为我的儿子。”
When I asked them why they felt so strongly that they wanted to go this far, they said all kinds of things.
当我问他们为什么如此强烈地想要走这么远时，他们说了各种各样的话。
It validated their relationship, it bound them together by law.
它证实了他们的关系，并通过法律将他们联系在一起。
But what it came to is that each of them was missing the kind of relationship the mattered to them most.
但结果是，他们每个人都错过了对他们来说最重要的那种关系。
They couldn't control much in their lives, or fix the past, but they could do this.
他们无法控制自己的生活，也无法改变过去，但他们可以做到这一点。
I thought it was just God sent that he didn't have a relationship with his children, and I didn't have a relationship with my father.
我以为这只是上帝派来的，他和他的孩子们没有关系，而我和我的父亲也没有关系。
He fulfilled that spot that I always wanted.
他实现了我一直想要的那个位置。
I always wanted some male figure in my life, somebody that I can look up to that had achieved something, that had done some things in life that I can say, hey, I want to do that.
我一直希望生活中有一个男性人物，一个我可以尊敬的人，他已经取得了一些成就，在生活中做了一些事情，我可以说，嘿，我想这么做。
And someone that would just be there for me, that whenever I messed up, they wouldn't criticize me, they wouldn't hit me, they wouldn't be verbally abusive with me.
有人会在我身边，每当我搞砸的时候，他们不会批评我，他们不会打我，他们不会辱骂我。
He would never be that way towards me.
他绝对不会这样对我。
If he saw any of my shortcomings, my weaknesses, he would just inspire me.
如果他看到我的任何缺点、弱点，他就会激励我。
Like, that's OK, you can do better, take your time.
就像，没关系，你可以做得更好，慢慢来。
I told him, I told him several times, son, you're just a younger me packaged a little bit differently.
我告诉他，我告诉过他好几次了，儿子，你只是一个年轻的我，包装有点不同。
Yes.
是的。
"It is hereby ordered, adjudged and decreed, that Jesse Lewis Johnson, born March 5, 1977, in Liberty County, Texas, is the adopted son of petitioner Daniel K.
“特此命令、判决和颁布法令，杰西·刘易斯·约翰逊 (Jesse Lewis Johnson)，1977 年 3 月 5 日出生于德克萨斯州自由县，是请愿者丹尼尔·K·约翰逊 (Daniel K.
Johnson for all purposes."
约翰逊出于各种目的。”
The reactions at the prison were mixed.
监狱里的反应不一。
Daniel was in a wing of old timers who had no problem with the adoption.
丹尼尔属于老一辈的一员，他们对收养没有任何问题。
Jesse was in a high security wing, with younger guys, and it made some of them uncomfortable.
杰西在戒备森严的翼楼里，周围都是年轻人，这让他们中的一些人感到不舒服。
Rumors circulated that the relationship was sexual.
有传言称这种关系是性关系。
And the fact that it was an older white inmate adopting a black inmate made it worse.
事实上，一名年长的白人囚犯收养了一名黑人囚犯，这让情况变得更糟。
Jesse tried to ignore the talk, but then he got attacked by a prisoner who snuck into his cell.
杰西试图忽略这些谈话，但随后他遭到了一名潜入牢房的囚犯的袭击。
Officials decided to send Jesse to another prison entirely.
官员们决定将杰西完全送往另一所监狱。
They said it was for his own safety.
他们说这是为了他自己的安全。
But Daniel and Jesse believed they separated them simply because they didn't approve of the adoption.
但丹尼尔和杰西认为他们分开只是因为他们不同意收养。
Now Jesse is at the Polunsky Unit, a prison an hour or so away.
现在杰西在波兰斯基监狱，距离监狱一小时左右。
I feel rather lonely.
我感到比较孤独。
I've been depressed a lot.
我一直很沮丧。
I don't exercise as much as I used to no more.
我不再像以前那样经常锻炼了。
He writes me letters.
他给我写信。
We write, we correspond.
我们写作，我们通信。
But it's not the same.
但这不一样。
Jesse's petitioned the courts to try to get them moved back together again.
杰西向法院请愿，试图让他们重新聚在一起。
But that doesn't look likely.
但这看起来不太可能。
They've also appealed Jesse's case to try to reduce his 60-year sentence.
他们还对杰西的案件提出上诉，试图减轻他 60 年的刑期。
But the reality is, Jesse could be in prison long after Daniel is dead.
但现实是，丹尼尔死后很久，杰西可能会入狱。
So we're going to see Jessie in an hour or so.
所以我们将在一个小时左右见到杰西。
Do you have a message for him?
你有话要告诉他吗？
You bet I do.
你打赌我会的。
Tell him I said I love him, I miss him.
告诉他我说我爱他，我想念他。
And to keep the faith, as we do.
并像我们一样保持信念。
That we're going to see this thing through.
我们会解决这件事。
And we're going to be together again.
我们将会再次在一起。
We're going to have a life out there in the streets.
我们将过着流落街头的生活。
And tell him that I'm very, very proud of the courage he's displaying.
并告诉他，我为他所表现出的勇气感到非常非常自豪。
Very proud of him.
非常为他感到骄傲。
Michael May, he's the managing editor at the Texas Observer .
迈克尔·梅 (Michael May)，他是《德克萨斯观察家报》的总编辑。
[MUSIC - "MY BABY'S DADDY" BY B ROCK AND THE BIZZ LYRICS]
[音乐 - B ROCK AND THE BIZZ 歌词的“MY BABY'S DADDY”]
Our program is produced today by Robyn Semien, and myself with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig, Jonathan Menjivar, Lisa Pollak, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Robyn Semien 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Jane Feltes、Sarah Koenig、Jonathan Menjivar、Lisa Pollak、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Eric Mennel, music help from Jessica Hopper and Damien Grave.
埃里克·门内尔 (Eric Mennel) 提供制作帮助，杰西卡·霍珀 (Jessica Hopper) 和达米恩·格雷夫 (Damien Grave) 提供音乐帮助。
Seth Lind is our production manager, Emily Condon is our office manager.
Seth Lind 是我们的生产经理，Emily Condon 是我们的办公室经理。
Jen Berman is filling in as our West coast producer.
Jen Berman 将担任我们的西海岸制片人。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
[致谢] 我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for a program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia, who's always trying to convince me that I am his favorite public radio host, and not Terry Gross.
WBEZ 对我们老板托里·马拉蒂亚 (Torey Malatia) 先生的一个节目进行管理监督，他总是试图让我相信我是他最喜欢的公共广播电台主持人，而不是特里·格罗斯 (Terry Gross)。
I finally asked him why.
我终于问他为什么。
Because she is my favorite.
因为她是我的最爱。
That was a joke.
那是个笑话。
And now I feel awful for making that joke.
现在我为开这个玩笑感到难过。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。