429: Will They Know Me Back Home? - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #429 | March 11, 2011 429: Will They Know Me Back Home?
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 429 集 | 2011 年 3 月 11 日 429：他们会认识我回家吗？
Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Nancy Updike Hello listeners.
序言 南希·厄普代克 听众朋友们大家好。
I'm Nancy Updike.
我是南希·厄普代克。
If you heard last week's show you know I'm filling in for Ira Glass.
如果您听过上周的节目，您就会知道我将接替艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass)。
He's out reporting a great story for you.
他要为你报道一个精彩的故事。
He will be back next week.
他将于下周回来。
But while he's gone, I thought maybe we could have movie night.
但当他离开时，我想也许我们可以度过一个电影之夜。
[MUSIC PLAYING] Clearly this isn't a movie that was made in the recent past.
[音乐播放] 显然这不是一部最近制作的电影。
But it was a blockbuster and an Oscar winner.
但这是一部大片，并获得了奥斯卡奖。
It was huge.
它是巨大的。
It's called, The Best Years of Our Lives , and it's a war movie, really a post-war movie.
它的名字叫《我们生命中最美好的岁月》，这是一部战争电影，实际上是一部战后电影。
Three men are coming back from a war, World War II, to the same town they all lived in before the war.
三名男子从第二次世界大战中回到他们战前居住的同一个城镇。
And the movie is about their hard transition back into civilian life.
这部电影讲述的是他们重返平民生活的艰难转变。
It's black and white, full of words like swell, but while I was watching it I kept thinking, "This could be about today."
它是黑白的，充满了像膨胀这样的词，但当我看着它时，我一直在想，“这可能是关于今天的。”
In the beginning of the movie the three men are on a military plane on their way home.
电影一开始，三人乘坐军用飞机回家。
And as they get closer, instead of getting excited they get quiet and edgy.
当他们靠近时，他们并没有变得兴奋，而是变得安静和急躁。
Fred, the young airman who's got some swagger asks the older guy, Al--
弗雷德，一位神气十足的年轻飞行员，问年长的阿尔——
Remember what it felt like when you went overseas?
还记得你出国时的感受吗？
I know what you mean.
我知道你的意思。
Just nervous out of the service, I guess.
我想，只是因为服务而感到紧张。
The thing that scares me most is that everybody's going to try to rehabilitate me.
最让我害怕的是每个人都会试图让我康复。
That's Al, the older one, worrying about people rehabilitating him.
那是阿尔，年纪较大的那个，正在担心人们如何让他康复。
It's surprising when says it.
说出来的时候真是让人惊讶。
He's the one who seems least visibly affected by the war, not a candidate for any kind of rehabilitation or even help.
他似乎是受战争影响最小的人，不适合接受任何形式的康复，甚至不提供帮助。
Al just seems like a gentle, somewhat stiff family man who's been married for 20 years and will be married for another 20 years.
艾尔看起来只是一个温柔、有点拘谨的顾家男人，已经结婚 20 年了，而且还将再结婚 20 年。
But on the first night back it's obvious he's not OK.
但回来的第一个晚上，他显然不太舒服。
He's tense.
他很紧张。
He can barely sit still.
他几乎坐不住了。
He insists on taking his wife and daughter out on the town and proceeds to get more drunk than I've seen someone his age get in a movie in a long time.
他坚持带他的妻子和女儿去镇上，并且喝得比我在很长一段时间里在电影中看到的同龄人喝得更醉。
He sloshes around the dance floor with his wife, Milly, played by Myrna Loy.
他与妻子米莉（米娜·洛伊饰）在舞池里翩翩起舞。
And at one point he starts into a little joke that his wife gamely plays along with.
有一次，他开始讲一个小笑话，他的妻子也兴高采烈地配合着。
You're a bewitching little creature.
你是一个迷人的小生物。
In a way you remind me of my wife.
在某种程度上你让我想起了我的妻子。
Oh yeah.
哦，是的。
I've got a little woman, two kiddies, back there in the States.
我在美国有一个小女人和两个孩子。
Oh, you're so right.
哦，你说得太对了。
This night belongs only to us.
这个夜晚只属于我们。
I found this one of the most poignant moments in the film, even with Al's drunkenness.
我发现这是电影中最令人心酸的时刻之一，即使阿尔喝醉了。
These are two people trying to make light of something huge, the fear of being strangers after so long apart.
这两个人试图淡化一些重大的事情，即在分开这么久之后成为陌生人的恐惧。
Do you still know me?
你还认识我吗？
Am I still me?
我还是我吗？
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
Today on the show, a question.
今天节目中，有个问题。
Will they know me back home?
回家后他们会认识我吗？
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
We're going to have just two stories on the show today.
今天的节目我们只讲两个故事。
Both are about men and women living through war and trying to figure out how to live their lives outside of war.
这两部作品都讲述了经历战争的男人和女人，并试图找出如何在战争之外生活的故事。
These are stories from the most recent, officially combat ended war the US has fought, the Iraq War.
这些故事来自美国最近一场正式结束的战争——伊拉克战争。
And a word about how we chose these stories.
谈谈我们如何选择这些故事。
We've been reading about the wars-- Afghanistan, Iraq-- from the beginning, just like you probably have.
我们从一开始就一直在阅读有关战争的内容——阿富汗、伊拉克——就像你可能读到的那样。
And we've forgotten a lot of what we've read, like you probably have.
我们已经忘记了很多我们读过的内容，就像你可能已经忘记的那样。
These are stories we couldn't forget.
这些都是我们无法忘记的故事。
The first one is from a stupendously well-reported book by journalist David Finkel called The Good Soldiers.
第一个来自记者大卫·芬克尔（David Finkel）的一本广受好评的书《好士兵》（The Good Soldiers）。
He followed one group of soldiers for 15 months, at war and at home.
他跟踪一组士兵长达 15 个月，无论是在战争中还是在家里。
Lots of reporters have done something like this.
很多记者都做过这样的事。
But he observes and describes these soldiers' "corner of the war," as he puts it, with such precision and without comment.
但正如他所说，他如此精确地观察和描述了这些士兵的“战争角落”，而且没有发表任何评论。
Reading it, you don't analyze the war, you don't ponder it.
读它时，你不会分析战争，也不会思考它。
You feel it.
你感觉到了。
One chapter stood out, the one where the soldiers go home on leave for 18 days, and their wives and families talk about waiting for them.
其中一章很引人注目，士兵们休假18天回家，他们的妻子和家人谈论着等待他们的故事。
And with David's permission we're doing something unusual with this chapter to put it on the air.
在大卫的允许下，我们对这一章做了一些不寻常的事情，将其播出。
In the book, the individual voices of the soldiers and their wives come through so clearly you hear them in your head.
在书中，士兵和他们的妻子的个人声音清晰可见，你可以在脑海中听到他们的声音。
We wanted to recreate that, so we worked with David to turn the chapter into a series of monologues, that each could be read by separate person, the same way you hear them in your head while you're reading.
我们想要重现这一点，所以我们与 David 合作，将这一章变成了一系列独白，每个独白都可以由单独的人阅读，就像你在阅读时在脑海中听到它们一样。
So these are actors reading, not the soldiers.
所以这些是演员在读书，而不是士兵。
But what they're reading is what the soldiers and their wives told David and what he saw.
但他们读到的是士兵和他们的妻子告诉大卫的以及他所看到的。
Briefly, here's what the soldiers were living through before they went on leave.
简而言之，这就是士兵们休假前的生活。
David embedded with an army battalion known as the 216, from Fort Riley, Kansas, during one of the most difficult periods of the Iraq War.
在伊拉克战争最困难的时期之一，大卫加入了来自堪萨斯州莱利堡的一支名为 216 的陆军营。
The surge, when the US sent small groups of soldiers and Marines out from the big, well-protected bases they'd been living in into dangerous neighborhoods all over Baghdad, where they would live for weeks at a time.
增兵是指美国将一小群士兵和海军陆战队员从他们一直居住的保护良好的大型基地派遣到巴格达各地的危险社区，他们一次会在那里居住数周。
Before the surge worked, it was terrifying.
在暴涨发挥作用之前，这是非常可怕的。
Every day, sniper attacks and IEDs that got more sophisticated and more lethal over time.
随着时间的推移，狙击手的袭击和简易爆炸装置每天都变得更加复杂和致命。
IEDs were on every road the 216 drove for a year.
一年来，216 行驶的每条道路上都布满了简易爆炸装置。
They were triggered by remote control-- in other words, people watching them.
它们是由远程控制触发的——换句话说，是人们在观看它们。
And there was no consistent pattern to where and when they exploded.
它们爆炸的地点和时间也没有一致的模式。
It could, and did, happen any time.
它随时可能发生，而且确实发生。
The soldiers started going home on leave in the middle of that year, the fall of 2007.
2007年年中，即秋天，士兵们开始休假回家。
The average age in the unit was 19.
该单位的平均年龄为19岁。
Heads up, these are young soldiers on leave.
请注意，这些是正在休假的年轻士兵。
There's some swearing.
有一些脏话。
We beep it.
我们发出嘟嘟声。
There's also a description of going to a strip club.
还有去脱衣舞俱乐部的描述。
Here's the chapter.
这是本章。
The first thing I did was take $1,500 and take my two brothers to the mall.
我做的第一件事就是拿了 1,500 美元，带我的两个兄弟去商场。
No. The first thing I did was take off my uniform in the airport parking lot, put on shorts and a T-shirt that my brothers had brought me, and then go to the mall.
没有，我做的第一件事就是在机场停车场脱掉制服，穿上哥哥们给我带来的短裤和T恤，然后去商场。
For three hours we bought whatever we wanted, sale or no sale, as if money didn't matter.
在三个小时的时间里，我们买了我们想要的任何东西，不管有没有促销，好像钱并不重要。
And what I bought was new pants, a new shirt, and new athletic shoes.
我买的是新裤子、新衬衫和新运动鞋。
All in white.
全部都是白色的。
Pure white because I wanted to feel clean.
纯白色，因为我想要干净的感觉。
From there I went home to see the rest of my family.
从那里我回家看望其他家人。
And that's where the questions began.
这就是问题开始的地方。
"What do you do," they asked.
“你做什么，”他们问。
"Well, we go out," I said.
“好吧，我们出去吧，”我说。
I wasn't sure how to describe it, so I showed them pictures instead.
我不知道如何描述它，所以我给他们看了照片。
That's Harrelson's Humvee on fire.
那是哈里森的悍马着火了。
That's Craig's Humvee right after he died.
那是克雷格死后的悍马车。
Those are some kids in Kamalaya.
这些是卡马拉亚的一些孩子。
My grandma started crying.
我奶奶开始哭了。
She knew about the deaths.
她知道死亡的事。
But this was seeing how people lived, the [BLEEP] trenches and stuff.
但这是看到人们如何生活，[BLEEP]战壕之类的。
I showed her a picture of a Humvee stuck in a [BLEEP] trench and she asked if that was mud, and I tried to explain it was [BLEEP] and that those lakes on the side were [BLEEP] [BLEEP] and she didn't want to see any more.
我给她看了一张悍马车被困在[BLEEP]沟渠中的照片，她问那是不是泥巴，我试图解释这是[BLEEP]，旁边的那些湖泊是[BLEEP][BLEEP]，她不想再看到了。
She got up and went in the other room, and she got busy ordering me my favorite dinner, which is chicken parmesan.
她起身走进另一个房间，忙着给我点我最喜欢的晚餐，那就是帕尔马干酪鸡肉。
My first day went from there.
我的第一天就从那里开始了。
I ate some marvelous chicken parmesan, bought my first legal six-pack of beer.
我吃了一些美味的帕尔马干酪鸡肉，买了我的第一瓶合法的六罐装啤酒。
Then I went with my brothers and some friends to the Yankee Bar and Grill for the Friday night wet T-shirt contest.
然后我和我的兄弟以及一些朋友一起去 Yankee Bar and Grill 参加周五晚上的湿 T 恤比赛。
I drank beer.
我喝了啤酒。
I drank tequila.
我喝了龙舌兰酒。
I drank Crown Royal.
我喝的是皇家皇冠。
I drank another beer.
我又喝了一杯啤酒。
I drank a flaming Dr Pepper.
我喝了一杯火焰胡椒博士。
I drank something else.
我喝了别的东西。
I don't even know what the [BLEEP] it was, but they put something on fire and dropped it in a beer.
我什至不知道那是什么[BLEEP]，但他们放火了一些东西，然后把它扔进了啤酒里。
I danced with a girl, told her I was home from Iraq.
我和一个女孩跳舞，告诉她我从伊拉克回来了。
Danced with another girl, told her I was home from Iraq.
和另一个女孩跳舞，告诉她我从伊拉克回来了。
I was wearing my new white shirt and white pants and white shoes, and I was feeling pretty good about things.
我穿着新的白衬衫、白裤子和白鞋，我感觉很好。
And, yes, I was drunk.
是的，我喝醉了。
Totally drunk.
彻底醉了。
But not so drunk I didn't hear people calling out my name and telling me to get on stage.
但没喝醉，我没有听到有人喊我的名字并叫我上台。
So my brother and I went up there and I sat in one chair and my brother sat in another chair, back to back.
于是我和我哥哥就去了那里，我坐在一张椅子上，我哥哥背靠背坐在另一张椅子上。
And there was a stripper pole in between us.
我们之间有一根脱衣舞杆。
And six girls in T-shirts came on stage and started dancing around us in a circle.
六个穿着T恤的女孩走上舞台，开始围着我们跳舞。
And I yell over to my brother, "Dude, there's no [BLEEP] way."
我对我的兄弟大喊：“伙计，没有办法[BLEEP]。”
And then there's water hoses, and the girls are soaked from head to toe and dancing through puddles, and taking off their T-shirts.
然后是水管，女孩们从头到脚都湿透了，在水坑里跳舞，脱掉了 T 恤。
And then one of the girls is stepping onto my new white shoes and leaning toward me and pushing her chest toward my face.
然后其中一个女孩踩上我的新白鞋，向我倾斜，将她的胸部推向我的脸。
And then she's climbing onto my lap and standing on my thighs with her wet dirty feet to get onto the strippers' pole, And she's trying to step onto my shoulders.
然后她爬到我的腿上，用她湿漉漉的脏脚站在我的大腿上，准备登上脱衣舞娘的钢管，她还试图踩到我的肩膀上。
And me, all I can think about was my new white shoes, my new white pants, my new white shirt.
而我，我能想到的就是我的新白鞋、我的新白裤子、我的新白衬衫。
But then I remembered it didn't really matter.
但后来我想起来这并不重要。
I had more money.
我有更多的钱。
I could buy more clothes tomorrow.
明天我可以买更多衣服。
So I started laughing and cheering, and then someone yelled in the microphone, "Welcome back from Iraq!" And then a woman was saying, "I'll give you a ride home tonight." And then we were parked in front of my house, kissing.
于是我开始大笑、欢呼，然后有人对着麦克风喊道：“欢迎从伊拉克回来！”然后一个女人说：“今晚我送你回家。”然后我们把车停在我家门前，接吻。
And then I passed out on her chest, drunk.
然后我就醉倒在她怀里了。
Done.
完毕。
She woke me up, "Maybe we should do this another night?" "Yeah." I went inside, passed out again, and dreamed of an explosion.
她叫醒了我，“也许我们应该改天再做一次？” “是的。”我走进去，再次昏倒，梦见爆炸。
"Dude, what's wrong?" my brother said as he sat up, wide-eyed.
“哥们儿，怎么了？”哥哥睁大眼睛坐起来说道。
I passed out again and then the phone began ringing.
我又昏过去了，然后电话响了。
"They're trying to call me.
“他们试图给我打电话。
They're trying to call me," I began screaming.
他们想给我打电话，”我开始尖叫。
I had a cigarette and passed out again.
我抽了一支烟，又昏过去了。
Then it was morning and my grandmother was the one leaning towards me saying, "Here's some orange juice." 17 days to go.
然后到了早上，我的祖母靠向我说：“这是一些橙汁。”还剩 17 天。
Nine months along.
九个月了。
Where's home now?
现在家在哪里？
Is it back there where my wife Stephanie recorded this video of my three kids on my birthday?
我的妻子斯蒂芬妮在我生日那天录制了我三个孩子的视频吗？
Or is it here, where I watch it?
或者就在这里，我在哪里观看？
[CHILDREN SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"]
[孩子们唱着“祝你生日快乐”]
Is home the place where the kids grow so steadily that it's invisible?
家是孩子们稳步成长的地方吗？
Or here, where I notice it in increments, like a distant relative?
或者在这里，我像远房亲戚一样逐渐注意到它？
Dear son, the weather this weekend has been glorious.
亲爱的儿子，这个周末天气真好。
The leaves are all turning color, no wind, the temperature's in the upper 60s, low 70s.
树叶都变色了，没有风，气温在 60 多度，低 70 多度。
Are there any other signs of fall in Iraq except the more reasonable temperatures?
除了较为合理的气温之外，伊拉克还有其他秋季迹象吗？
Your loving mom and dad.
你慈爱的妈妈和爸爸。
Dear mom and dad, it's still 100 degrees here.
亲爱的爸爸妈妈，这里的温度还是100度。
The leaves are not turning color.
叶子没有变色。
Love, Ralph.
爱，拉尔夫。
Hi, love, I love you.
嗨，亲爱的，我爱你。
Well, today I've spent in vacation research craziness.
好吧，今天我在假期里度过了疯狂的研究。
I found flights to Florida and hotel and resort packages for January.
我找到了一月份飞往佛罗里达州的航班以及酒店和度假村套餐。
Would you rather a hotel or a condo?
您想要酒店还是公寓？
Meals included, or not?
含餐还是不含餐？
Disney or Universal?
迪士尼还是环球？
Thoughts?
想法？
Stephanie Corey, As long as I get to spend all the time with you and the kids we can do it in a bungalow upside-down for all I care.
斯蒂芬妮·科里，只要我能一直和你和孩子们在一起，我们就可以在平房里颠倒地做，我不在乎。
Do need a heated pool.
确实需要一个温水游泳池。
Your choice on all.
全部由您选择。
Hugs, Ralph Wester.
拥抱，拉尔夫·韦斯特。
OK.
好的。
I stayed up two extra hours to get all the details straight for you so you could be part of making a decision on our trip.
我额外熬了两个小时，为您提供所有详细信息，以便您可以参与我们旅行的决定。
I know you're making lots of decisions over there and I shouldn't bother you with this.
我知道你在那里做了很多决定，我不应该用这个来打扰你。
It's just, I've been making all the decisions here for 10 months by myself.
只是，这10个月里所有的决定都是我一个人做的。
When I called home the last time, Laura told me she'd just come back from taking our two daughters to the sports bar we would go to every Friday afternoon when I was there.
当我上次打电话回家时，劳拉告诉我，她刚刚带我们的两个女儿去体育酒吧回来，当我在那里时，我们每个周五下午都会去那里。
It was a tradition of ours.
这是我们的传统。
And it moved me that she'd done this.
她这样做让我很感动。
But then Laura was saying that our four-year-old daughter, who has Down's Syndrome, began vomiting all over herself at the table.
但后来劳拉说，我们四岁的女儿患有唐氏综合症，她开始在餐桌上呕吐得浑身都是。
And our eight-year-old daughter kept saying, "Gross, gross, gross." And the waitress was horrified.
我们八岁的女儿一直说：“恶心，恶心，恶心。”而女服务员也被吓坏了。
And she couldn't find enough napkins.
她找不到足够的餐巾纸。
People all over the restaurant were looking away and covering their mouths.
餐厅里的人都移开了视线，捂住了嘴。
When I got home, I ended up in Las Vegas at the Sweethearts' Wedding Chapel with my girlfriend of two years, getting married as her mother listened in on a cell phone.
当我回到家时，我和交往两年的女朋友在拉斯维加斯的情侣婚礼教堂结婚，她的母亲用手机监听着。
I spent like $5,000, ring not included, much of it at the Bellagio.
我花了大约 5,000 美元（不包括戒指），大部分是在贝拉吉奥酒店花的。
The penthouse suite.
顶楼套房。
It's like $500 or something dollars a night.
一晚大概500美元左右。
We stayed for two.
我们住了两个人。
And then it was time to go.
然后是时候离开了。
It was worse than leaving the first time.
这比第一次离开更糟糕。
I went home, and as glad as I was to be there, my heart sank when I saw my 17-year-old son, Joey, was driving around in a truck that had 160,000 miles on it.
我回到家，尽管我很高兴能回到家，但当我看到我 17 岁的儿子乔伊开着一辆行驶了 16 万英里的卡车四处行驶时，我的心沉了下去。
It was leaking oil and transmission fluid, had a plastic bag taped over a broken-out window.
它正在漏油和变速箱油，破烂的窗户上贴着一个塑料袋。
So we go looking for a truck.
所以我们去找一辆卡车。
And golly, these cars are so expensive.
天哪，这些车太贵了。
The one we liked the most was at a Toyota place.
我们最喜欢的是在丰田的一家店。
It was a used grey Dodge, 25,000 miles on it.
那是一辆二手灰色道奇车，行驶了 25,000 英里。
But the price was $17,000.
但价格是17,000美元。
Only $17,000, the salesman, a little ball of energy, had said.
推销员说，只要 17,000 美元，一个小小的能量球。
But there's no "only" about it.
但没有“唯一”。
One night I was sitting out on the porch by myself and thinking about it.
一天晚上，我独自坐在门廊上思考这件事。
And I was thinking, "You know, Randy, if you don't make it back for whatever reason, if you don't come back, what will Joey have to drive if you don't get him something before you leave?" I was alone on the porch, and I went back and forth on it.
我在想，“你知道吗，兰迪，如果你因为某种原因没能回来，如果你不回来，如果你在离开之前没有给乔伊买点东西，乔伊必须开什么车呢？”我独自一人站在门廊上，在上面来回走动。
Fix the old truck, that I could afford.
修理我买得起的旧卡车。
Or I could buy him something and be done with it.
或者我可以给他买点东西然后就结束了。
And at least when I go back to Iraq, I'll have a clear conscience that I did the right thing when I was home.
至少当我回到伊拉克时，我会问心无愧，我在家里做了正确的事。
So I bought him a $17,000 truck.
所以我给他买了一辆价值 17,000 美元的卡车。
And let me tell you how I did this.
让我告诉你我是如何做到这一点的。
This is great.
这太棒了。
This is how I surprised him.
这就是我让他惊讶的地方。
We find this truck and drive it and go away for a couple of days.
我们找到这辆卡车并驾驶它并离开几天。
I do all the paperwork while he's at school.
他在学校的时候我做所有的文书工作。
Because I did it over the phone.
因为我是通过电话做的。
I said, "Joey, let's drive back up to the Toyota place and see if that truck's still there." He said, "There ain't no need in going up there, Dad.
我说：“乔伊，我们开车回丰田那儿吧，看看那辆卡车还在吗？”他说：“爸爸，没有必要去那里。
We can't afford it.
我们买不起。
We already talked about it.
我们已经讨论过了。
It costs too much.
成本太高了。
I said, "Well, let's go talk to him and let's go see if we can get him down to $15,000 instead of $17,000." So we pull up there and the truck's moved because they're getting it ready for me to pick it up.
我说：“好吧，我们去和他谈谈，看看能否把他的薪水从 17,000 美元降到 15,000 美元。”所以我们把车停在那里，卡车已经移动了，因为他们正在准备好让我去取。
And we walk up to one of salesman.
我们走到一位推销员面前。
And that guy didn't know me, and I asked him about the truck.
那个人不认识我，我就向他询问卡车的事。
And he said, "Oh somebody came by this morning and bought it."
他说：“哦，今天早上有人过来买了它。”
Aw, you should have Joey's face.
哦，你应该有乔伊的脸。
"I told you dad.
“我告诉过你爸爸。
I told you somebody bought it." And I said, "Well let's go inside and see." So we go inside and the little guy comes running up to me.
我告诉过你有人买了它。”我说，“好吧，让我们进去看看。”于是我们进去，那个小家伙向我跑来。
He says, "Mr. Wadell, how you doing?
他说：“先生。瓦德尔，你好吗？
Blah blah blah." And I said, "So I hear you sold that truck today." And he said, "Yeah.
等等等等。”我说，“所以我听说你今天卖掉了那辆卡车。”他说，“是的。
We sold it to you." Joey looked at me and I said, "Oh yeah.
我们把它卖给你了。”乔伊看着我，我说，“哦，是的。
You own that truck outside." It turned out well.
外面那辆卡车是你的。”结果很好。
In the first hours of my leave, I walked through the Atlanta airport and couldn't look anyone in the eye.
在我离开的头几个小时里，我走过亚特兰大机场，不敢直视任何人的眼睛。
The businessmen on cell phones, the families on vacation, all of it was too strange.
打电话的商人，度假的家庭，这一切都太奇怪了。
"The normal abnormal," Major Cummings called Iraq.
卡明斯少校称伊拉克为“正常的异常”。
But this was exactly the opposite.
但这恰恰相反。
The abnormal normal.
异常正常。
I kept my eyes down.
我低着头。
I made my way to a connecting flight home and the girlfriend that I wasn't sure I knew how to talk to anymore.
我乘搭转机回家的路上遇到了我不确定如何与她交谈的女朋友。
I'm going home too.
我也回家了
But unlike the others, I'm not coming back.
但与其他人不同的是，我不会回来。
Five months after carrying Sergeant Emory down the stairs in Kamalaya, I couldn't do it anymore.
在卡马拉雅背着埃莫里中士走下楼梯五个月后，我再也做不到了。
This is my third deployment to Iraq.
这是我第三次被派往伊拉克。
I've been here 34 months by my own count, just over 1,000 days.
据我自己算，我在这里已经 34 个月了，也就是 1000 多天。
It doesn't matter to me anymore that I was one of 216's best soldiers.
我曾经是216最好的士兵之一，这对我来说已经不重要了。
I need to go home.
我需要回家。
That's what combat stress said after I finally gave in and admitted that my thoughts had turned suicidal.
这就是我最终屈服并承认我的想法变成了自杀之后，战斗压力所说的。
So I'm finished.
所以我完成了。
Down to my final hours.
直到我的最后几个小时。
Packed, weaponless, under escort.
打包，没有武器，在护送下。
Waiting for the helicopter that'll take me away to a wife who just told me on the phone, "I'm scared of what you might do." "You know I'd never hurt you," I said.
等待直升机带我去见一位妻子，她刚刚在电话里告诉我，“我害怕你会做什么。” “你知道我永远不会伤害你，”我说。
Hung up and wandered around the base.
挂了电话，在基地里闲逛。
Got a hair cut, came back to my room where I'm thinking, "But what if she's right?
剪了头发，回到我的房间，我在想，“但如果她是对的呢？
What if I snap someday?" It's a thought that makes me feel sick.
如果有一天我突然崩溃怎么办？”这个想法让我感到恶心。
You spend 1,000 days, it gets to the point where it's Groundhog Day.
你度过了 1000 天，到了土拨鼠日。
Every day is over and over.
每一天都在一遍又一遍地过去。
The heat, the smell, the language.
热量、气味、语言。
And I remember when it wasn't that way.
我记得当时情况并非如此。
I remember the initial invasion when it wasn't that way.
我记得最初的入侵时情况并非如此。
I was in the front seat of the greatest movie I'd ever seen in my life.
我坐在我一生中看过的最伟大电影的前座。
I remember the firefights in my second deployment.
我记得第二次部署时的交火。
I loved it.
我喜欢它。
Any time I got shot at in a firefight, it's the sexiest feeling there is.
每当我在交火中被枪击时，这是最性感的感觉。
But this deployment I began to feel bad early on.
但这种部署我很早就开始感觉不好。
I'd get in the Humvee and be driving down the road and I'd feel my heart pulsing up in my throat.
当我坐上悍马车沿着公路行驶时，我会感到心脏跳到了嗓子眼。
And that was the start of it.
这就是一切的开始。
And then Emory happened.
然后埃默里发生了。
Then Crow.
然后是乌鸦。
And then I was in a succession of explosions.
然后我就陷入了连续的爆炸之中。
Then a bullet skimmed across my thighs.
然后一颗子弹掠过我的大腿。
Then Doster happened.
然后多斯特发生了。
And then I was waking up thinking, "Holy [BLEEP] I'm still here and it's misery." It's hell.
然后我醒来时想，“天哪[BLEEP]我还在这里，真是痛苦。”这是地狱。
I didn't give a [BLEEP].
我没有发出[BLEEP]声。
I wanted it over as soon as possible, whether they did it or I did it.
我希望尽快结束，无论是他们做的还是我做的。
The amazing thing is that no one knew.
令人惊奇的是，没有人知道。
There was all this stuff going on, pounding heart, panicked breathing, sweating palms, electric eyes.
所有这些事情都在发生，心脏剧烈跳动，呼吸急促，手掌出汗，电眼。
And no one regarded me as anything other than the soldier I'd always been.
没有人将我视为不同于我一直以来的士兵的人。
The one who never complained.
那个从不抱怨的人。
Who hoisted bleeding soldiers onto my back.
谁把流血的士兵举到我的背上。
Who'd suddenly begun insisting on being in the right front seat of the lead Humvee on every mission.
他突然开始坚持在每次执行任务时都坐在领头悍马车的右前座上。
Not because I wanted to be dead, but because that's what selfless leaders would do.
不是因为我想死，而是因为那是无私的领导人会做的事。
And I was the great Sergeant Schumann, who one day walked into the aid station, went through the door marked Combat Stress, and asked for help from James Tczap.
我是伟大的舒曼中士，有一天，他走进急救站，走进标有“战斗压力”的门，并向詹姆斯·查普寻求帮助。
And then I was on my way home.
然后我就踏上了回家的路。
I remember what Tczap had told me.
我记得 Tczap 告诉我的话。
"With your stature, maybe you've opened the door for a lot of guys to come in." It made me feel really good.
“以你的地位，也许你已经为很多人打开了进来的大门。”这让我感觉非常好。
But I still felt awful yesterday when I told one of my team leaders to round up everyone in my squad.
但昨天，当我告诉我的一位团队领导将我队中的所有人都召集起来时，我仍然感觉很糟糕。
"What did we do now?" he asked.
“我们现在做什么了？”他问道。
"You didn't do anything.
“你什么也没做。
Just get them together." They came into my room and I shut the door and told them I was leaving the following day.
让他们聚在一起。”他们走进我的房间，我关上门并告诉他们我第二天就要离开。
I said, "I don't even know what I'm going through.
我说：“我什至不知道自己正在经历什么。
I just know that I don't feel right." That's what I told them.
我只知道我感觉不对劲。”我就是这么告诉他们的。
"That's why I'm leaving." "How long?" one of them asked.
“这就是我要离开的原因。” “多久？”其中一人问道。
I told them I didn't know.
我告诉他们我不知道。
"I might not be coming back." And they rallied around me then.
“我可能不会回来了。”然后他们就聚集在我周围。
Shook my hand, grabbed me by the arm, patted me on the back, saying whatever 19 and 20-year-olds could think of to say.
握着我的手，抓住我的胳膊，拍拍我的背，说着 19 岁和 20 岁的人能想到的话。
"Take care of yourself," "Drink a beer for me." I never felt so guilt-ridden in my life.
“照顾好自己，”“给我喝杯啤酒。”我一生中从未感到如此内疚。
Early this morning the rest of the squad drove off on a mission, leaving me behind.
今天一早，小队的其他人就出发去执行任务了，把我留在了后面。
After they disappeared I didn't know what to do with myself.
他们消失后，我不知道自己该怎么办。
I went to my room, turned up the air conditioner full blast.
我回到自己的房间，把空调开到最大。
Started watching Apocolypse Now on my computer.
开始在我的电脑上观看《现代启示录》。
I packed my meds.
我收拾好我的药。
I left some beef jerky and smoked oysters, packages of mac and cheese for the guys.
我给大家留下了一些牛肉干、熏牡蛎、通心粉和奶酪。
Finally it was time to go to the helicopter.
终于到了登上直升机的时间了。
My stomach hurt as I made my way across the base.
当我穿过基地时，我的胃很痛。
I felt myself becoming nauseated.
我感觉自己开始恶心了。
At the landing area, other soldiers from other battalions were lined up.
登陆区，其他营的其他士兵也排好了队。
And when the helicopter landed, everyone was allowed to board, except me.
当直升机降落时，除了我之外，每个人都被允许登机。
I didn't understand.
我不明白。
"Next one's yours," I was told.
“下一个是你的，”我被告知。
When it came a few minutes later I realized why I'd had to wait.
几分钟后，当它到来时，我意识到为什么我必须等待。
It had a big red cross on the side.
它的侧面有一个大大的红十字。
It was the helicopter for the injured and the dead.
这是运送伤者和死者的直升机。
And that was me.
那就是我。
I was injured.
我受伤了。
I was dead.
我死了。
I was done.
我已经完成了。
I was home now, too.
我现在也在家了。
Sitting on my front porch since waking up in the dark to the sound of explosions.
自从在黑暗中被爆炸声吵醒后，我就坐在我的前廊上。
Just thunder, I realized.
我意识到，只是雷声。
So I went outside to see my first rainstorm in months.
所以我走到外面去看几个月来的第一场暴雨。
My wife said, "We're going to have to get the umbrellas out for the girls." And I wondered whether the umbrellas were still in the same place as when I left.
我妻子说：“我们得为女孩们拿出雨伞。”我想知道雨伞是否还在我离开时的原处。
At Rudina's, the coffee shop where I like to go, one of the regulars clapped me on the back and motioned to a friend, "Come on over me and meet Brent Cummings," he said.
在我喜欢去的鲁迪纳咖啡馆，一位常客拍着我的背，向一位朋友示意，“过来见见布伦特·卡明斯，”他说。
"He's just back from Iraq.
“他刚从伊拉克回来。
He's a hero."
他是一个英雄。”
I'd sit on the porch and listen to the automatic lawn sprinklers that Laura had mentioned in an email that she was having installed.
我会坐在门廊上，听劳拉在一封电子邮件中提到的自动草坪洒水器的安装情况。
I'd sit in the living room and listen to my daughters play the piano that Laura had mentioned she was thinking of buying.
我会坐在客厅里，听我的女儿们弹奏劳拉提到她正在考虑购买的钢琴。
One day I said to Laura, "How much do you want to know?"
有一天，我对劳拉说：“你想知道多少？”
He hung up his uniform, and I was just sitting on the bed watching him.
他挂起了制服，我坐在床上看着他。
And suddenly he started to cry.
突然他开始哭泣。
"It's so stupid, Laura.
“这太愚蠢了，劳拉。
It's so stupid." That's all he kept saying over and over.
这太愚蠢了。”这就是他一遍又一遍地说的话。
I felt better after that.
之后我感觉好多了。
Stephanie It wasn't the 18 days that Ralph would be here but the 400 days that he would not.
斯蒂芬妮：拉尔夫不是在这里待了 18 天，而是他不在了 400 天。
It's boxes of Christmas decorations that I'd hauled down from the attic and needed to put up.
这是我从阁楼上拖下来并需要安装的一盒圣诞装饰品。
It's thickening ice on the sidewalk and steps, and where in the world was the big bag of ice melter we bought last year?
人行道和台阶上的冰越来越厚了，我们去年买的一大袋融冰器到底在哪里？
It's the lights flickering in the storm, and where were the AA batteries for the flashlight in case the electricity went out?
暴风雨中灯光闪烁，手电筒的 AA 电池在哪里，以防停电？
Here were the C batteries, here were the AAAs, but where were the AAs?
这里是 C 电池，这里是 AAA，但是 AA 在哪里？
The framed photograph of Ralph on top of the refrigerator also needed batteries to power the motion sensor that triggered the memory chip on which he'd recorded a message so the kids wouldn't forget his voice.
冰箱顶部拉尔夫的镶框照片也需要电池为运动传感器供电，该传感器触发存储芯片，他在上面记录了一条信息，这样孩子们就不会忘记他的声音。
Hey!
嘿！
What are you doing over there?
你在那儿做什么？
I see you!
我看见你！
I see you!
我看见你！
He'd recorded it, trying to be funny, after I said that his original message about how much he missed them might be too sad.
在我说他最初表达的关于他多么想念他们的信息可能太悲伤之后，他录下了这段视频，试图搞笑。
And it worked.
它奏效了。
He got on a plane to go to Iraq, and the kids came home and walked into the kitchen and heard him saying, "I see you." They went out and came back in.
他登上了飞往伊拉克的飞机，孩子们回到家，走进厨房，听到他说：“我看到你们了。”他们出去又回来。
"I see you." They woke up the next morning and came into the kitchen for breakfast.
“我看到你了。”第二天早上，他们醒来，来到厨房吃早餐。
"I see you."
“我看见你。”
Every morning there he was.
每天早上他都在那里。
Even before I had coffee.
甚至在我喝咖啡之前。
"I see you." I began ducking when I came into the kitchen.
“我看见你。”当我走进厨房时，我开始躲避。
What could I do, though?
但我能做什么呢？
I couldn't turn the photo upside-down.
我无法把照片倒过来。
I couldn't take the batteries out or cover the sensor or do anything that would seem disrespectful of the circumstances that had led to the buying of the frame and the recording of the message.
我不能取出电池或盖住传感器或做任何看起来不尊重导致购买相框和记录信息的情况的事情。
"I see you.
“我看到你了。
I see you.
我看到你了。
I see you.
我看到你了。
I see you."
我看到你了。”
And then one day the batteries ran out.
然后有一天，电池耗尽了。
And I meant to replace them, but now it's months later and anyway they were probably AAs.
我本想更换它们，但现在已经是几个月后的事了，无论如何它们可能是 AA。
And if I could find any AAs I'd better put them in the flashlight because the storm is getting worse.
如果我能找到任何 AA，我最好把它们放在手电筒里，因为风暴正在变得越来越严重。
In April, when Ralph wrote to tell me that Jake Hadgemat died, he didn't go into detail about how.
四月，当拉尔夫写信告诉我杰克·哈德马特去世时，他没有详细说明是如何去世的。
And when I wrote back, I didn't go into detail about painting Easter eggs with the kids.
当我回信时，我没有详细说明和孩子们一起画复活节彩蛋的事情。
In July, when the 216 was being attacked several times a day, I didn't dwell on my own drama, that the kids and I were driving home from out of state and the car died.
7 月份，当 216 号每天遭到多次袭击时，我并没有沉迷于自己的戏剧性事件，即我和孩子们从州外开车回家时，车子坏了。
And in September, I didn't tell him much about the Colonel's wife who'd approached me and asked.
九月份，我没有告诉他太多有关上校妻子来找我询问的事情。
"How are you doing?" "I'm doing OK." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Are you sure?" "Yes.
“你好吗？” “我很好。” “你确定吗？” “是的。” “你确定吗？” “是的。
I'm doing OK." "No you're not.
我很好。” “不，你不是。
You're not doing OK."
你做得不太好。”
It would have been an uncomfortable conversation any time.
任何时候这都会是一场不舒服的谈话。
But making it worse was the setting, the memorial service for the three soldiers.
但更糟糕的是环境，为三名士兵举行的追悼会。
And what am I supposed to say?
我应该说什么？
I'm sick of being a single parent?
我厌倦了单亲家庭吗？
I'm sick of not having sex?
我厌倦了没有性生活吗？
Is that when I say?
是我说的时候吗？
That life sucks?
这样的生活很糟糕吗？
Instead, I keep anything like that to myself.
相反，我会把类似的事情留给自己。
I wasn't going to tell a colonel's wife that.
我不会把这件事告诉上校的妻子。
And I'm not going to tell Ralph, who I'm sure needs me to be nothing other than upbeat.
我不会告诉拉尔夫，我确信他需要我保持乐观。
Just like there's no way I'm going to tell him how much work these videos are.
就像我无法告诉他这些视频的工作量有多大一样。
[CHILDREN SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"]
[孩子们唱着“祝你生日快乐”]
That the boys prefer to be watching TV or playing with friends.
男孩们更喜欢看电视或和朋友一起玩。
That no one would say anything and I had to prompt them with whispered commands.
没有人会说什么，我不得不低声命令他们。
I won't tell him about the branch that just missed the car, or the way I attack the ice on the sidewalk with a hammer and a knife because I couldn't find the melter.
我不会告诉他刚刚错过汽车的树枝，也不会告诉他我用锤子和刀攻击人行道上的冰的方式，因为我找不到融化器。
I won't tell him that before I could find a moment to write him, the night had been a parade of footsteps and flushing toilets and coughs.
我不会告诉他，在我找到时间给他写信之前，整个夜晚都是脚步声、冲厕所声和咳嗽声。
And me, trying to soothe our little anxious boys by saying, "Good night my handsome men."
而我，试图通过说“晚安，我的帅哥们”来安抚我们焦虑的小男孩。
I hate this war and what it has done to my life.
我讨厌这场战争以及它对我的生活造成的影响。
I won't tell him that either.
我也不会告诉他这些。
Instead, at 12:44 AM, exhausted, I write, "Hi love.
相反，在凌晨 12 点 44 分，我筋疲力尽地写道：“嗨，亲爱的。
Well guess who loves you?
那么猜猜谁爱你？
Me and A, J, and G.
我和A、J、G。
I hope you enjoyed the pictures I sent earlier.
我希望您喜欢我之前发送的照片。
Quite a remarkable storm." He'll be home in January.
真是一场非凡的风暴。”他将于一月份回家。
He's due to leave Baghdad in 16 days.
他将于 16 天后离开巴格达。
I'm worried about January.
我很担心一月。
Who will he be?
他会是谁？
"I'm proud of you," I write him.
“我为你感到骄傲，”我写信给他。
Your wife, Stephanie.
你的妻子，斯蒂芬妮。
Excerpts from David Finkel's great non-fiction book about the Iraq War, The Good Soldiers .
摘自大卫·芬克尔关于伊拉克战争的伟大非小说类书籍《好士兵》。
The excerpts were read by actors Michael Chernus, Fran Tarr, Patch Dara, Danny Barbone, John Ellison Conley, Eric Menel, Alec Beard, Wendy Door and Connie Britain.
演员迈克尔·切努斯、弗兰·塔尔、帕奇·达拉、丹尼·巴伯恩、约翰·埃里森·康利、埃里克·梅内尔、亚历克·比尔德、温迪·多尔和康妮·英国朗读了这些节选。
[MUSIC - "BABY, WON'T YOU PLEASE COME HOME?" BY PRESERVATION HALL JAZZ BAND AND AMY LEVERE]
[音乐-“宝贝，你不想回家吗？”由保护厅爵士乐队和 AMY LEVERE 创作]
Coming up, when the question in the war becomes, "What would Carol Brady do?" That's one short minute away, from WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
接下来，当战争中的问题变成“卡罗尔·布雷迪会怎么做？”当我们的节目继续时，距 WBEZ 芝加哥和国际公共广播电台仅一分钟路程。
Welcome back.
欢迎回来。
I'm Nancy Updike sitting in for Ira Glass.
我是南希·厄普代克，代理艾拉·格拉斯。
He's out reporting a story, a great story.
他出去报道一个故事，一个很棒的故事。
He'll be back next week.
他下周就会回来。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
And we have a theme this week, like we do every week.
与每周一样，我们本周有一个主题。
Today's is, "Will They Know Me Back Home?" Two stories about war and after war.
今天的主题是“他们会认识我回家吗？”两个关于战争和战后的故事。
This second story has stuck in my head for six months.
第二个故事在我脑海里萦绕了六个月。
Last summer I was in Iraq with another reporter, Larry Kaplow, and our interpreter was a woman named Sarah.
去年夏天，我和另一位记者拉里·卡普洛一起在伊拉克，我们的翻译是一位名叫莎拉的女士。
Usually the interpreter in a radio story is just a voice when they're on the air, not a full-fledged person.
通常，广播故事中的口译员在广播时只是一个声音，而不是一个成熟的人。
But after the Iraq show we put together aired, we got more mail about Sarah than about almost anyone else in the show, even though her own personal story was on the air for less than a minute.
但在我们整理的伊拉克节目播出后，我们收到的有关莎拉的邮件几乎比剧中其他任何人都多，尽管她自己的个人故事播出了不到一分钟。
Sarah makes an impression.
莎拉给人留下了深刻的印象。
And it's partly because who she was before the war still comes through.
部分原因是她在战前的身份仍然清晰可见。
This warm, chatty housewife raising her two boys, getting up every morning and putting on clothes that will be familiar to anyone who's ever spent the whole day at home.
这位热情、健谈的家庭主妇抚养着她的两个儿子，每天早上起床，穿上所有整天待在家里的人都会熟悉的衣服。
Track suit.
田径服。
And pajamas.
还有睡衣。
And then a uniform.
然后是制服。
The uniform was an American military uniform.
制服是美国军服。
And Sarah's laughing because she can still barely believe the arc of her life over the last seven years.
莎拉笑了，因为她仍然不敢相信过去七年里她的生活轨迹。
She was part of the same grueling period of the war that the soldiers in David Finkel's book faced.
她和大卫·芬克尔书中的士兵所面临的战争时期是一样的。
In fact, her story overlaps with their time in Iraq almost exactly.
事实上，她的故事与他们在伊拉克的经历几乎完全重叠。
But unlike them, she not only wasn't a soldier, she'd never worked outside her home in her life.
但与他们不同的是，她不仅不是军人，而且一生中从未外出工作过。
And she went from that into the middle of one of the most violent stretches of the war.
从那时起，她就进入了战争中最暴力的时期之一。
So Sarah's story, the story you're about to hear, is about an ordinary woman with no heroic ambitions who took on a role for which she was the unlikeliest of candidates and thrived in it.
所以莎拉的故事，也就是你即将听到的故事，是关于一个没有英雄抱负的普通女性，她承担了一个她最不可能胜任的角色，并在其中茁壮成长。
Before the war, Sarah's marriage was unhappy.
战前，莎拉的婚姻并不幸福。
She's blunt about it.
她对此很直言不讳。
And the war made it worse.
战争使情况变得更糟。
By the end of 2006, Sarah and her family had been bombed out of their house-- they were Sunnis driven out by Shiite militias-- and militia members had taken over her husband's car repair business.
到 2006 年底，莎拉和她的家人被炸出家门——他们是被什叶派民兵驱逐的逊尼派——民兵成员接管了她丈夫的汽车修理生意。
The family had to rebuild from nothing.
这个家庭不得不从零开始重建。
They were broke and sometimes hungry, including the kids, Mustafa, 16 years old, and Becker, who just turned 10.
他们身无分文，有时还挨饿，包括孩子们，16 岁的穆斯塔法和刚满 10 岁的贝克尔。
The streets were dangerous, but someone needed to get a job.
街道很危险，但有人需要找到工作。
And Sarah and her husband were arguing all the time.
莎拉和她的丈夫一直在争论。
Sometimes I was really, you know, try to clear his scary vision.
有时我真的，你知道，试图清除他可怕的视野。
He was so scared from the-- I don't blame him.
他非常害怕——我不怪他。
It was a hard time for everyone.
这对每个人来说都是一段艰难的时期。
But many of the fathers go every morning outside, and they work and they come back to their houses safe.
但许多父亲每天早上都会出去工作，然后安全地回到家中。
So I was talking with him like, "Hey, I am here to support you.
所以我和他说话就像是，“嘿，我是来支持你的。
You have to work.
你必须工作。
You have to go bring money or food for your boys.
你必须去给你的孩子们带钱或食物。
We are all in very hard time.
我们都处于非常困难的时期。
Not only us, all Iraq.
不仅是我们，还有整个伊拉克。
So you have to go outside." He said, "You want them to kill me?"
所以你必须到外面去。”他说：“你想让他们杀了我吗？”
Really I had many arguments with my husband.
确实，我和我丈夫吵过很多次架。
I really-- when I get upset I raise my voice.
我真的——当我心烦意乱时，我会提高声音。
And he was raising his voice more than I raise my voice.
他提高声音的幅度比我提高声音的幅度还要大。
Sarah had gotten married at 19.
莎拉19岁时结婚了。
And like I said, she'd never worked outside the home, at her husband's insistence.
正如我所说，在她丈夫的坚持下，她从未外出工作过。
For her, this was part of the bitterness at the core of their marriage.
对她来说，这是他们婚姻的核心痛苦的一部分。
He'd pressured her to drop out of college with only one year to go after promising before they'd married that he would let her finish.
他在结婚前承诺让她完成学业后，在大学只剩下一年的时候向她施压，要求她退学。
Work was always out of the question.
工作始终是不可能的。
Until now.
到目前为止。
A new opportunity suddenly came up.
一个新的机会突然出现了。
American soldiers happened to hear Sarah's younger son, Becker, speaking English, and they asked where he'd learned it, which was from his mother.
美国士兵碰巧听到莎拉的小儿子贝克尔说英语，他们问他是从哪里学来的英语，是从他母亲那里学来的。
Sarah has an ear for languages.
莎拉对语言有敏锐的洞察力。
She studied German in college.
她在大学学习德语。
But she'd learned some English in school, too.
但她在学校也学过一些英语。
And she built it up watching movies, listening to American music.
她通过看电影、听美国音乐来建立起这种习惯。
The Americans asked Sarah's husband to send her in.
美国人要求莎拉的丈夫送她进来。
They needed interpreters.
他们需要口译员。
This was 2007, four years into the war, and interpreters were targets for Al Qaeda and other Sunni militants and for Shiite militias.
那是 2007 年，战争已经过去了四年，口译员成为基地组织和其他逊尼派武装分子以及什叶派民兵的攻击目标。
Sarah was terrified.
莎拉很害怕。
But the family needed money.
但家里需要钱。
So she took the test and was offered a contract.
于是她参加了测试并获得了一份合同。
Starting salary: $1,150 a month.
起薪：每月 1,150 美元。
Enough for the family to live on and build up savings again.
足够一家人生活并再次积累积蓄。
That was the good part of the contract.
这是合同中好的部分。
The contract said 27 days in the camp and then four days vacation.
合同规定在营地待27天，然后放假4天。
So it's a very long time for me to leave my kids alone in the house.
所以我有很长一段时间把孩子们单独留在家里。
So you would be living on the base with the Americans for 27 days, and then get 4 days at home?
那么你会在基地与美国人一起生活 27 天，然后在家里呆 4 天？
You couldn't commute back and forth and see them at night, even?
甚至晚上你也不能来回看他们吗？
No, no, no. I really worried about this item in the contract.
不，不，不。我真的很担心合同里的这个项目。
But I start work with them and I found myself in a room smaller than this one, alone and I spend only one night and then I want to quit the next morning.
但我开始和他们一起工作，我发现自己在一个比这个更小的房间里，独自一人，我只呆了一晚，然后第二天早上我想辞职。
I wanted to take my bag and run away to my house.
我想拿上我的包跑回我家。
Because each time I hear the American soldiers in the bath laughing and talking, I said, "What am I doing here?
因为每次我听到美国士兵在洗澡时说说笑笑，我就说：“我在这里做什么？
This is not my place.
这不是我的地方。
My place with my boys in the house.
我和我的孩子们在家里住的地方。
How can I just bear 27 days without seeing my kids?"
我怎么能忍受27天见不到孩子呢？”
And then one of the Iraqi interpreters, he saw me so confused.
然后一位伊拉克翻译，他看到我很困惑。
And I told them this is the first day for me.
我告诉他们这是我的第一天。
I want to quit.
我想退出。
I want to leave.
我想离开。
So he says, this is normal thing.
所以他说，这是正常的事情。
We all felt the same way you feel now.
我们都和你现在的感受一样。
So just relax and give yourself time.
所以放松一下，给自己一些时间。
Picture a woman in her late 30s with a wide face.
想象一个 30 多岁、宽脸的女人。
Five foot three, but solid, not fragile.
五英尺三英寸，但坚固，不脆弱。
Huge smile.
灿烂的笑容。
Now wearing fatigues, bulletproof vest, medic bag, wrap-around shrapnel-resistant glasses and a helmet, 40 pounds of gear.
现在穿着迷彩服、防弹背心、医疗包、环绕式防弹眼镜和头盔，以及 40 磅的装备。
Sarah is her nickname.
莎拉是她的昵称。
All Iraqi interpreters pick nicknames.
所有伊拉克口译员都会起绰号。
The fewer people who know their real names, the better.
知道自己真实姓名的人越少越好。
She picked Sarah.
她选择了莎拉。
It's easy to pronounce in English and in Arabic.
它的英语和阿拉伯语发音都很容易。
Sarah was an interpreter for Alpha Company 177, but she did more than just interpret.
莎拉是阿尔法 177 连的一名翻译，但她所做的不仅仅是翻译。
She gathered key information that became intel for the unit.
她收集的关键信息成为了该部队的情报。
Remember, this was the surge.
请记住，这是激增。
Baghdad was on the edge of all-out civil war, and the surge plan was to send US military outfits, like Alpha Company, out into the middle of dangerous areas with constant IED and sniper attacks to try and stabilize them.
巴格达正处于全面内战的边缘，增兵计划是派遣阿尔法连等美军部队前往危险地区中部，不断进行简易爆炸装置和狙击手袭击，试图稳定局势。
Alpha Company landed in southwest Rashid.
阿尔法连在拉希德西南部登陆。
At the time it was a confusing churn of different militias, including the powerful Mahdi Army, the Jaish al-Mahdi, who were trying to control the area.
当时，不同民兵组织混杂在一起，令人困惑，其中包括试图控制该地区的强大的迈赫迪军（Jaish al-Mahdi）。
Kidnapping and killing were common.
绑架和杀戮屡见不鲜。
And the only way for the Americans to fight was to get tips from informants, ordinary local people who were frightened all the time.
而美国人战斗的唯一方法就是从线人那里获取线索，他们是一直处于恐惧之中的当地普通民众。
Of the militias, of the Americans.
民兵的，美国人的。
Sarah's job was to try to convince these frightened people to talk.
莎拉的工作就是试图说服这些受惊的人开口说话。
Her new boss, Captain Bill Higgins-- he's actually now a major-- gave her an assignment.
她的新老板比尔·希金斯上尉——他现在实际上是一名少校——给了她一项任务。
Call up this guy.
打电话给这个人。
He doesn't want to talk, but just try.
他不想说话，但只是尝试一下。
Try to talk with him.
尝试与他交谈。
Try to ask him about the neighborhood.
尝试向他询问附近的情况。
And I called him and I talked with him.
我打电话给他并与他交谈。
"I'm Sarah.
“我是莎拉。
I'm working with the Americans.
我正在和美国人一起工作。
You know, these things.
你知道，这些事情。
And I ask him about the neighborhood, his neighborhood.
我向他询问邻居的情况，他的邻居。
And he starts to give me his real name, his job, all the information about the bad guys in his neighborhood.
他开始告诉我他的真实姓名、他的工作以及有关他附近坏人的所有信息。
So when I told the captain after I finished my call, he was really surprised.
所以当我打完电话告诉船长时，他真的很惊讶。
He said, "Sarah, we tried with him since six months.
他说：“莎拉，六个月以来我们一直在尝试与他合作。
Tried to get even his name.
甚至想知道他的名字。
And he refused to give it to us.
他拒绝给我们。
This is something unbelievable."
这是令人难以置信的事情。”
It was the first time for me to recognize and realize that there is other things I can do in addition to be a housewife, a good housewife.
这是我第一次认识到，意识到除了做一个家庭主妇之外，我还可以做其他的事情，一个好家庭主妇。
I start to feel all this energy inside me, all these good things inside me.
我开始感受到我体内的所有能量，所有这些美好的事物。
So yes, there is something else.
所以是的，还有其他事情。
I can do it.
我能做到。
And within the right way.
并且以正确的方式进行。
Major Higgins told me it really was unbelievable how good Sarah was at getting people to open up to her.
希金斯少校告诉我，莎拉在让人们向她敞开心扉方面表现得如此出色，真是令人难以置信。
They trusted her.
他们信任她。
They liked talking to her.
他们喜欢和她说话。
Major Higgins felt that way.
希金斯少校有这样的感觉。
Sarah was approachable, sympathetic, funny, and unexpected.
莎拉平易近人、富有同情心、有趣且出人意料。
Like running into your favorite sister or aunt in a war zone.
就像在战区遇到你最喜欢的姐妹或阿姨一样。
Even though she was dressed in fatigues, as soon as she started talking, it was clear to people that she knew their world and she knew them.
尽管她穿着迷彩服，但一开口，人们就清楚地知道她了解他们的世界，她了解他们。
She used to be them.
她曾经是他们。
Let's see, I spent 17 years in the kitchen, making food for the family and guests all the time.
让我们看看，我在厨房里呆了 17 年，一直为家人和客人做饭。
So this is, you know, a big step for me, to get out from all these things to a new world.
所以，你知道，这对我来说是一大步，让我摆脱所有这些事情，进入一个新世界。
It was really a hard seven months in my life, and the most wonderful seven months in my life.
这真是我人生中最艰难的七个月，也是我人生中最美妙的七个月。
Sometimes we cannot sleep for days, working all the day and night.
有时我们几天都睡不着，没日没夜地工作。
Talking with the sources, get information, make plans, raid houses.
与消息来源交谈，获取信息，制定计划，突袭房屋。
Sarah's world flipped.
莎拉的世界发生了翻天覆地的变化。
Everything that had seemed overwhelming in the beginning became normal.
一切一开始看似难以承受的事情都变得正常了。
Militias, informants, raids, IEDs, gunfire, dead bodies, and working around the clock.
民兵、线人、突袭、简易爆炸装置、枪声、尸体，以及全天候工作。
27 days in a row of this.
连续27天都是这样。
And then four days off.
然后休息四天。
And not even fully off.
甚至还没有完全关闭。
She gave trusted informants or sources her personal cell phone number.
她向值得信赖的线人或消息来源提供了她的个人手机号码。
She found herself struggling to get back into the quiet rhythm that used to be her whole life.
她发现自己正在努力恢复平静的生活节奏。
Making meals, cleaning the house, being a wife, a sister, a mom.
做饭、打扫房间、做妻子、姐妹、妈妈。
Many times-- believe me, and I'm really sorry to say that, I don't want to hurt anyone-- many of the times, they're talking and my mind thinking of this source.
很多时候——相信我，我真的很抱歉地说，我不想伤害任何人——很多时候，他们在说话，我的脑海里想着这个来源。
I have to call him and talk with him.
我得给他打电话并和他谈谈。
Try to take more information.
尝试获取更多信息。
I forgot to ask this informer about this thing.
我忘了问这个举报人这件事了。
And I have to ask him.
我必须问他。
So you were thinking about work while your relatives are talking about their lives and--
所以你在考虑工作，而你的亲戚却在谈论他们的生活，而且——
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Many times I miss what they talking about.
很多时候我都想念他们谈论的内容。
The problem for me was even when I was in my vacation, people keep calling me.
对我来说，问题是即使我在度假，人们仍然不断给我打电话。
And this is-- it didn't let me switch off all the these things and be a mom instead of being interpreter.
这是——它并没有让我关掉所有这些事情，成为一名母亲而不是翻译。
One of the times when I was in a vacation, Becker asked me to do his favorite food-- chicken in the oven, with rice, of course-- and at the same time I got a call from a source.
有一次我在度假时，贝克尔让我做他最喜欢的食物——烤箱里的鸡肉，当然还有米饭——同时我接到了一位消息人士的电话。
She starts to tell me something so important about weapon caches in the area.
她开始告诉我一些关于该地区武器储藏室的重要事情。
And I'm just holding the phone in one hand, and I try to put the tray in the oven.
我只是用一只手拿着手机，然后尝试将托盘放入烤箱。
You can see where this ends.
你可以看到这一切结束的地方。
She burns herself.
她烧伤了自己。
She's still got the scar.
她身上还留着伤疤。
But listen to her voice.
但听听她的声音。
She's thrilled.
她很兴奋。
She wasn't just good at her job.
她不仅仅擅长她的工作。
She loved her job.
她热爱她的工作。
On that phone call, the information she got while getting burned was so important she left her vacation early.
在那通电话中，她在被烧伤时得到的信息非常重要，她提前离开了假期。
It was really a big day for us.
这对我们来说确实是一个重要的日子。
We captured about 18 leaders in the same night.
当晚我们抓获了大约 18 名领导人。
Sarah became indispensable.
莎拉变得不可或缺。
Out of the four or five interpreters the unit worked with regularly, she was the top.
在该单位经常合作的四、五名口译员中，她名列前茅。
She was the one that Major Higgins and his operations officer wanted at their meetings with local sheikhs and other leaders.
她是希金斯少校和他的行动官员在与当地酋长和其他领导人会面时想要的人。
They sought her opinion as well as her interpreting skills.
他们征求她的意见以及她的口译技巧。
And her work with informants was crucial.
她与线人的合作至关重要。
Major Higgins says he's certain some of the people who called, especially women, would never have talked to a male interpreter.
希金斯少校表示，他确信一些打电话的人，尤其是女性，永远不会与男性翻译交谈。
Sarah's letters of praise from American military officers are effusive and consistent.
美国军官对莎拉的表扬信热情洋溢、前后一致。
They wrote, "Her work has directly led to identifying many criminal actors and capturing them.
他们写道：“她的工作直接导致识别出许多犯罪分子并将他们抓获。
We've learned that Sarah is feared by local criminals.
我们了解到当地犯罪分子害怕莎拉。
Sarah unhesitatingly faced the same dangers as our soldiers.
莎拉毫不犹豫地面临着与我们的士兵同样的危险。
She's earned the trust and confidence of everyone in the unit."
她赢得了单位里每个人的信任和信心。”
The letters also talk about how hard Sarah worked.
这些信还谈到了莎拉的工作有多努力。
Major Higgins sometimes let her kids come to the compound and stay with her for a few days when the long separations got too difficult.
当长时间的分离变得太困难时，希金斯少校有时会让她的孩子们来院子里陪她几天。
Her husband came a couple of times, too.
她的丈夫也来过几次。
Sarah later overheard him talking to the kids about it.
莎拉后来无意中听到他和孩子们谈论这件事。
He said, "I really shocked when I saw your mother do all this work all the time, day and night.
他说：“当我看到你妈妈日夜不停地做这些工作时，我真的很震惊。
So God help her and protect her."
所以上帝帮助她并保护她。”
The word empowerment has a quaintness about it now in the US, as though it's forever rendered in a '70s-era font.
“赋权”这个词现在在美国显得有些古怪，就好像它永远以 70 年代的字体呈现一样。
But there's no other word for what happened to Sarah.
但对于发生在莎拉身上的事情，没有其他的说法。
She became empowered.
她变得有力量了。
She used to be embarrassed to talk to strangers.
她过去常常羞于与陌生人交谈。
Now she could talk to anyone.
现在她可以和任何人交谈。
And when she did, everyone listened.
当她这样做时，每个人都在听。
Her world had become huge.
她的世界变得无比广阔。
For Sarah, it was a change that would come at a staggering personal cost.
对于莎拉来说，这是一个需要付出惊人个人代价的改变。
And she saw others pay a price for their courage, also.
她看到其他人也为自己的勇气付出了代价。
Sarah called up a woman in the area one day at the captain's request.
有一天，莎拉应船长的要求给该地区的一名妇女打电话。
He said, "Sarah, this woman really has good information about a very bad area in the sector.
他说：“莎拉，这位女士确实掌握了该行业一个非常糟糕的领域的详细信息。
We need her." I told her, "I'm a mom too, and I have two boys.
我们需要她。”我告诉她，“我也是一个妈妈，我有两个儿子。
And I accept to do this work, and it was very dangerous, because someone needs to be serious with this area, with this country.
我接受做这项工作，这是非常危险的，因为需要有人认真对待这个地区、这个国家。
It has to be me or you or anyone to bring the secure and the safe to the area."
必须是我、你或任何人才能为该地区带来安全。”
The woman agreed to talk, in spite of being frightened.
尽管很害怕，这位女士还是同意谈话。
She lived in a neighborhood where militia members often hid.
她住在民兵经常藏身的街区。
From the back of her house she could see what was happening on the main street, people planting IEDs to catch US military vehicles.
从她家的后面，她可以看到主要街道上发生的事情，人们放置简易爆炸装置来拦截美国军车。
And from the front, she could see who and what was coming into the area.
从前面，她可以看到谁和什么正在进入该区域。
She was a great source, calling Sarah at home to tell her about weapons and militias.
她是一个很好的消息来源，给萨拉家里打电话，告诉她有关武器和民兵的信息。
They became friends.
他们成了朋友。
And she told Sarah that the militias had a nickname for Sarah.
她告诉莎拉，民兵给莎拉起了个绰号。
The Lion.
狮子。
One day the woman's husband called Sarah and said, "They came and took her.
有一天，女人的丈夫打电话给莎拉，说：“他们来抓走了她。
Militia leaders took her."
民兵领导人带走了她。”
I know the militias.
我认识民兵。
They are savage and they torture everyone.
他们很野蛮，他们折磨每个人。
They don't care about a woman or a kid or anything.
他们不关心女人或孩子或任何东西。
And I feel guilt.
我感到内疚。
I thought, maybe I am the reason for what she will suffer from.
我想，也许我就是她遭受苦难的原因。
I just wanted to take her back to her kids.
我只是想带她回到她的孩子们身边。
And so I was like a crazy.
所以我就像个疯子。
Talking, crying, and talking with the captain, begging him to find any way to go and try to find her.
一边说着，一边哭着，跟船长说话，求他想办法找到她。
I called one of the double agent, who work with the American and work with me.
我给一名双重间谍打了电话，他与美国人一起工作，也与我一起工作。
Someone in the Jaish al-Mahdi who was working with you, working with the Americans?
马赫迪军中有人与你一起工作，与美国人一起工作吗？
Yes.
是的。
And I begged him, "Just tell me where they will take her.
我恳求他：“告诉我他们会带她去哪里。
Tell me about the places where you keep the kidnapped people." So we're moving from house to house, and all the houses were empty.
告诉我你们关押被绑架者的地方。”于是我们挨家挨户地搬家，所有的房子都空了。
We spend maybe 2 days searching for her.
我们大约花了两天时间寻找她。
And then her husband called me and said, "Hey Sarah, they called us and they said, we killed her." Really it was-- every time I remembered her I really say, she was the Lion, not me.
然后她的丈夫打电话给我说：“嘿，莎拉，他们打电话给我们，他们说，我们杀了她。”确实如此——每次我想起她，我都会说，她是狮子，而不是我。
I wasn't the Lion.
我不是狮子。
She was the Lion.
她是狮子。
Yeah.
是的。
In the beginning of 2008, after Major Higgins and his group had rotated out and a new group had come in, Sarah's husband joined the Sons of Iraq.
2008 年初，在希金斯少校和他的团队轮换并加入新团队后，莎拉的丈夫加入了伊拉克之子。
These were groups of Iraqis the Americans paid to fight alongside them, especially against Al Qaeda, in areas all over Baghdad and other parts of Iraq.
这些伊拉克人是美国人花钱雇来与他们并肩作战的，特别是在巴格达各地和伊拉克其他地区打击基地组织。
The Sons of Iraq also manned checkpoints.
伊拉克之子也负责检查站。
Sarah worried about the kids with both parents gone a lot, and at dangerous jobs.
莎拉担心父母经常外出并从事危险工作的孩子们。
But her husband said he would only work part of the day.
但她的丈夫说他只会工作一天的一部分时间。
And he'd be back in the house during after school hours.
放学后他就会回到家里。
After he finished training, he worked for less than a month.
培训结束后，他工作了不到一个月。
He was driving his car in one of the streets where they put their checkpoints, and two cars drive beside his car, with three men inside it, and they start to shoot on him and kill him in his car.
他当时正在他们设置检查站的街道上开着车，两辆汽车开在他的车旁边，车里有三名男子，他们开始向他开枪，并在他的车里杀死了他。
I was shocked, really.
我真的很震惊。
I start to cry.
我开始哭泣。
My boys jumped in my mind, and I called Mustafa immediately and I asked him about Becker, and he told me he is in the house with me.
我的孩子们在我的脑海中跳了起来，我立即打电话给穆斯塔法，向他询问贝克尔的情况，他告诉我他和我一起在房子里。
And I said, "Don't go anywhere, because I will come to you." And I was crying and he was confused and asked me, "What's going on, mom?
我说：“哪里都别去，因为我会来找你。”我哭了，他很困惑，问我：“妈妈，发生了什么事？
Tell me what's going on."
告诉我发生了什么事。”
Many Sons of Iraq fighters were being killed at the time.
当时许多伊拉克之子战士被杀。
But Sarah was horrified to learn from one of her informants that her husband was killed at least in part because of her work.
但莎拉从一位线人那里得知，她的丈夫至少部分是因为她的工作而被杀，她对此感到震惊。
The informant told her he saw militia members the day her husband died.
线人告诉她，在她丈夫去世的那天，他看到了民兵。
He saw them celebrate after his killing and distribute candies and laughing call each other and congratulate each other, "Hey we killed Sarah's husband."
他看到他们在他被杀后庆祝，分发糖果，笑着互相打电话祝贺，“嘿，我们杀了莎拉的丈夫。”
Sarah started trying to get herself and her sons out if Iraq, to emigrate to the US.
莎拉开始试图让自己和儿子离开伊拉克，移民到美国。
With the help of Major Higgins and others from his unit, as well as people from the new group, she applied for a special visa using those recommendation letters I quoted earlier.
在希金斯少校和他所在单位的其他人以及新小组的人员的帮助下，她使用我之前引用的推荐信申请了特殊签证。
But in the fall of 2008, as she was waiting to do her first interview to get the visa, something totally unexpected happened.
但2008年秋天，当她等待第一次面试以获得签证时，发生了完全意想不到的事情。
In the afternoon of what seemed to be a normal work day, Sarah was taken to what she thought would be a routine screening.
在看似正常工作日的下午，莎拉被带到了她认为是例行检查的地方。
It happened every six months or so on the job, when she had to renew her security badge.
在工作中大约每六个月就会发生一次，当时她必须更新她的安全徽章。
But this time the questions, by an American interrogator, went on for hours and hours.
但这一次，由美国审讯者提出的问题持续了几个小时。
Finally she was taken into custody and driven to a section of the Baghdad Airport she'd never been to before.
最后她被拘留并被带到巴格达机场她以前从未去过的一个区域。
They took me to the airport and then I found myself in a jail.
他们带我去机场，然后我发现自己进了监狱。
I really tried to explain what's going on.
我真的很努力地解释发生了什么事。
No one answer me.
没有人回答我。
She was in an American jail and she had no idea why.
她在美国监狱里，她不知道为什么。
It was several days before she could even let her kids know where she was.
过了好几天，她才让孩子们知道她在哪里。
They allowed us to just two minutes to tell our families where we are.
他们只给我们两分钟的时间告诉家人我们在哪里。
So I called my Mustafa and I talked with him.
所以我打电话给我的穆斯塔法并与他交谈。
And then I talked with my older sister.
然后我和姐姐交谈。
And I couldn't tell her that I'm in jail, really.
我真的不能告诉她我在监狱里。
I felt so shamed and I didn't know what to say.
我感到很羞愧，不知道该说什么。
Even if I told her, I'm in a jail, I'm sure she will ask me, why you are in jail?
即使我告诉她，我在监狱里，我相信她也会问我，你为什么在监狱里？
I don't know what to say or answer.
我不知道该说什么或回答。
So I told them, hey there is some information about me and they keep me here in the airport just to check this information, if it's true or not, and then they will release me.
所以我告诉他们，嘿，有一些关于我的信息，他们把我留在机场只是为了检查这些信息，不管它是真是假，然后他们就会释放我。
The Americans she'd been working with for the last year were preparing to rotate out of Iraq.
去年与她共事的美国人正准备从伊拉克轮流撤离。
She didn't hear from them.
她没有收到他们的消息。
Day by day I realized that I'm alone and I need to defend myself, by myself.
日复一日，我意识到我很孤独，我需要靠自己来保护自己。
Over weeks of questioning, Sarah figured out what was happening.
经过几周的询问，莎拉弄清楚了发生了什么。
She'd been accused by an anonymous Iraqi source of betraying the Americans she was working with.
一位匿名的伊拉克消息人士指控她背叛了与她一起工作的美国人。
Taking money from militias, deliberately misinterpreting so militia members would be released, and sneaking militia members into the Sons of Iraq to spy on the Americans.
从民兵那里拿钱，故意曲解民兵成员被释放，并将民兵成员偷偷潜入伊拉克之子监视美国人。
By the time she got a chance to defend herself in front of a judge, she had been in prison for two months.
当她有机会在法官面前为自己辩护时，她已经入狱两个月了。
The judge threw out the case for insufficient evidence.
法官以证据不足为由驳回了此案。
But it took another month for the paperwork to go through.
但文书工作又花了一个月的时间才完成。
And incredibly, in that month, her situation got worse.
令人难以置信的是，在那一个月里，她的情况变得更糟了。
She was transferred from the American jail into Iraqi custody.
她被从美国监狱转移到伊拉克拘留所。
And really it was a terrible experience for me there in the Iraqi jail.
对于我来说，在伊拉克监狱里的经历确实是一次可怕的经历。
I don't want to remember anything.
我不想记住任何事情。
That jail makes my hair grey, really.
那个监狱真的让我的头发变白了。
Those three months undid her.
这三个月让她崩溃了。
Not only the jails.
不仅仅是监狱。
Sarah had been keeping all her savings in a bag in her room at the camp where she'd worked with the Americans.
莎拉一直把她所有的积蓄都放在她与美国人一起工作的营地房间里的一个袋子里。
Banks hadn't felt safe.
银行感到不安全。
Iraq was still unstable.
伊拉克局势依然不稳定。
And she hadn't wanted to leave it at her house.
她不想把它留在家里。
When her son Mustafa went to pick up her things from the camp while Sarah was sitting in jail, the money was gone.
当莎拉在监狱里时，她的儿子穆斯塔法去营地取回她的东西，钱就不见了。
I said, "No way.
我说：“不可能。
There was all my saving money in the bag." He says, "No mom.
袋子里全是我的积蓄。”他说：“没有妈妈。
The bag was empty."
袋子是空的。”
About $20,000 disappeared, she says.
她说，大约 20,000 美元消失了。
The family had lived frugally the entire time Sarah was working so she could save most of her paycheck.
莎拉工作期间，一家人一直节衣缩食，这样她就可以省下大部分薪水。
It was money she'd planned to use for them to emigrate, if necessary.
她计划用这笔钱让他们在必要时移民。
Now they didn't even have it to live on.
现在他们连生活的钱都没有了。
There was a final blow.
最后一击来了。
Even though the case against her has been dismissed, and Sarah had an exemplary work record, she's been blacklisted.
尽管针对她的案件已被驳回，而且莎拉有着出色的工作记录，但她仍被列入黑名单。
The anonymous accusations are now a seemingly permanent part of her US Defense Department file.
这些匿名指控现在似乎已成为她美国国防部档案中永久的一部分。
She can't work for the US anymore, and her visa to America has been denied.
她不能再为美国工作，她的美国签证也被拒绝了。
Sarah has never seen the file that keeps her from working for the US government and emigrating.
莎拉从未见过阻止她为美国政府工作和移民的文件。
The American lawyers working on her case have never seen it.
处理她案件的美国律师从未见过这一点。
I talked to one high-ranking US officer, who never worked with Sarah, but has detailed knowledge of her case.
我与一位美国高级官员交谈过，他从未与莎拉共事过，但对她的案件有详细的了解。
He said that in his view, the fact that she's been blacklisted is, quote, "A shameful situation and a gross miscarriage of justice." He believes the case against her was badly misinformed.
他说，在他看来，她被列入黑名单的事实是“一种可耻的情况和严重的误判”。他认为针对她的案件受到了严重误导。
Sarah is still in touch with some of the American soldiers she worked with in the beginning.
莎拉仍然与她最初共事的一些美国士兵保持着联系。
And she thinks about them a lot, how they're doing, how their families are doing.
她经常想念他们，想念他们过得怎么样，他们的家人过得怎么样。
Because they are like, the persons who removed the dust from my real-- what you call it-- personality.
因为他们就像是那些从我真实的——你所说的——个性中除去灰尘的人。
For the year and a half Sarah was working with the Americans, she felt recognized for who she really was for the first time in her adult life.
在莎拉与美国人一起工作的一年半时间里，她在成年后第一次感到自己的真实身份得到了认可。
It's a powerful feeling to be known like that and a terrible thing to lose.
被人这样认识是一种强烈的感觉，而失去它又是一件可怕的事情。
The moment in our last Iraq show that made everyone remember Sarah happened when she was interpreting for us during an interview with a former Sons of Iraq fighter.
在我们上一期伊拉克节目中，让大家记住莎拉的那一刻发生在她在接受一位前伊拉克之子战士的采访中为我们做翻译时。
He pulled a tissue from a box next to him to make a point.
他从旁边的盒子里抽出一张纸巾来表达自己的观点。
I'm sorry.
对不起。
He says the American forces use us like a tissue.
他说美军像使用纸巾一样使用我们。
I feel the same thing.
我也有同样的感觉。
I wish I could tell you this story ends well.
我希望我能告诉你这个故事有一个美好的结局。
It doesn't.
事实并非如此。
Sarah is stranded.
莎拉陷入困境。
She can't go back to being a housewife.
她不能再做家庭主妇了。
She's got her kids to support.
她还有孩子要养活。
But jobs are scarce for a single woman whose employment experience is mostly a job she can't even talk about with a lot of Iraqis without putting her life at risk.
但对于单身女性来说，工作机会很少，她们的就业经历大多是一份工作，她甚至无法在不冒生命危险的情况下与很多伊拉克人谈论工作。
She wants to be recognized.
她想要被认可。
She just doesn't know when she's going to get the chance.
她只是不知道什么时候才能有机会。
[MUSIC - "I WANNA BE FREE" BY EVELYN HARLENE AND CASEY CLARK'S BAND]
[音乐 - EVELYN HARLENE 和 CASEY CLARK 乐队的“I WANNA BE FREE”]
This week's program was produced by Robyn Semian with Alex Blumberg, Ben Calhoun, Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig, Jonathan Menjivar, Lisa Pollak, and Alissa Shipp.
本周的节目由 Robyn Semian 与 Alex Blumberg、Ben Calhoun、Jane Feltes、Sarah Koenig、Jonathan Menjivar、Lisa Pollak 和 Alissa Shipp 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Seth Lind is our production manager.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的生产经理。
Emily Condon is our office manager.
艾米丽·康登 (Emily Condon) 是我们的办公室经理。
Production help from Eric Mennel.
埃里克·门内尔 (Eric Mennel) 提供制作帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
[致谢]《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our show by our boss, Torey Malatia, and editorial oversight by our other boss, Ira Glass.
WBEZ 的管理监督由我们的老板 Torey Malatia 负责，编辑监督由我们的另一位老板 Ira Glass 负责。
He told me this week that the secret to his casual, natural delivery on the radio?
他本周告诉我，他在广播中随意自然地表达的秘诀是什么？
Comfy clothes.
舒适的衣服。
Track suit.
田径服。
And pajamas.
还有睡衣。
Nancy Updike More stories from This American Life next week, with Ira J.
南希·厄普代克 (Nancy Updike) 将于下周与艾拉·J·南希·厄普代克 (Nancy Updike) 分享《美国生活》的更多故事。
Glass.
玻璃。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。