393: Infidelity - This American Life

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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #393 | April 17, 2026 393: Infidelity Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.

00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 393 集 | 2026 年 4 月 17 日 393：不忠 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。

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Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

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Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.

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Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass This spring, sometime after South Carolina governor Mark Sanford publicly confessed that his soulmate was a woman in Argentina who was not his wife, which was just after the Elizabeth Edwards book tour where she talked about the child that her husband allegedly had with a woman who was not her, which was, of course, right on the heels of Jon and Kate splitting up after reports that he had an affair, which was all before Nevada senator John Ensign admitted paying $96,000 in cash to his former mistress and her husband, after her husband found out about their relationship, a writer named Jessica Pressler noticed something going on in the weddings pages of the New York Times , what the paper calls their Vows section.

序言：序言 艾拉·格拉斯 今年春天，南卡罗来纳州州长马克·桑福德公开承认他的灵魂伴侣是一位阿根廷女人，但她不是他的妻子，就在伊丽莎白·爱德华兹售书活动结束后不久，她谈到了她的丈夫据称与一个不是她的女人所生的孩子，当然，紧接着乔恩和凯特因有外遇的报道而分手，而这一切都发生在内华达州参议员约翰·恩西格承认支付了 96,000 美元之前在她的丈夫发现他们的关系后，一位名叫杰西卡·普莱斯勒（Jessica Pressler）的作家向他的前情妇和她的丈夫现金支付，注意到《纽约时报》的婚礼页面上发生了一些事情，该报纸称之为“誓言”部分。

She saw that there were couples getting married who cheerfully told the newspaper, in the little write up that they do there, as part of their "meet cute" story, that the way they got together was that one of them cheated on a spouse or longtime partner.

她看到有些结婚的夫妇高兴地告诉报纸，在他们在那里写的小文章中，作为他们“遇见可爱”故事的一部分，他们走到一起的方式是其中一人欺骗了配偶或长期伴侣。

I believe one of them says-- the headline on it is something like, it took awhile but they finally got together, and you're like, because he was having a three-year relationship with another person in the meantime.

我相信他们中的一个人说 - 标题是这样的，花了一段时间，但他们终于在一起了，你就像，因为他同时与另一个人有三年的关系。

Jessica Pressler wrote up her discovery on the New York magazine blog, "Daily Intel." She noted that there was a kind of code language in all these wedding articles.

杰西卡·普莱斯勒在纽约杂志博客“每日情报”上写下了她的发现。她指出，所有这些婚礼文章中都有一种代码语言。

They always say, like, their road to finding each other was a bumpy road.

他们总是说，他们寻找彼此的道路是一条坎坷的道路。

Or, they had a difficult time, many ups and downs.

或者说，他们经历过一段艰难的时期，经历过很多坎坷。

They encountered some obstacles along the way.

他们一路上遇到了一些障碍。

And it's like, no, those are people.

就像，不，那些是人。

Those are other lives.

那是另外的生活。

They're not speed bumps.

它们不是减速带。

Take, for instance, the married women who, according to a romantic write up on the Vows page of the New York Times , flew to Paris to see another man and stayed with him in a hotel in the Latin quarter for two weeks where they quote "reveled in their Vie Boheme" before she flew back to the US and moved out of the home in New Jersey that she shared with her husband.

例如，根据《纽约时报》誓言版上的一篇浪漫文章，这些已婚女性飞到巴黎去看另一个男人，并在拉丁区的一家酒店与他一起住了两周，并引用她们的话说“陶醉在波西米亚生活中”，然后飞回美国，搬出了新泽西州与丈夫同住的家。

I mean, it's just weird because Vows is something that you have to try to get into.

我的意思是，这很奇怪，因为誓言是你必须尝试进入的东西。

You have to lobby to get into that column.

你必须游说才能进入该专栏。

So it's like, Mark Sanford, he had to speak publicly about his affair.

所以，马克·桑福德（Mark Sanford）必须公开谈论他的婚外情。

Most people don't have to go around telling everybody about it.

大多数人不必到处告诉每个人这件事。

See, but that's what's so strange about it.

瞧，但这就是它的奇怪之处。

Is that somehow, some part of them doesn't think, I shouldn't talk about this.

不知何故，他们中的某些人认为我不应该谈论这个。

Somehow the notion, I had an affair, is so just nothing to them.

不知何故，“我有外遇”这个想法对他们来说根本不算什么。

Right.

正确的。

I think it's probably just people, when they cheat on other people, tell themselves that they're doing it because they have to, because fate is involved.

我认为这可能只是人们在欺骗别人时告诉自己，他们这样做是因为他们不得不这么做，因为这涉及到命运。

And whatever happened, you're better off and probably the person that you broke up with is better off.

无论发生什么，你都会过得更好，而且可能与你分手的人也会过得更好。

And this is the way it was meant to be.

这就是它本来的样子。

This is fate.

这就是命运。

As for the cheated on ex-partner, when the story appears in the newspaper on the wedding pages, it's almost as if the newspaper is siding with the cheating couple.

至于出轨的前伴侣，当这个故事出现在报纸的婚礼版上时，几乎就好像报纸站在了出轨夫妇一边。

The ex-partner is just collateral damage on the way to their wedding.

前伴侣只是他们婚礼途中的附带伤害。

They don't get to say anything for themselves.

他们无权为自己说任何话。

It's not their story anymore.

这不再是他们的故事了。

It's somebody else's love story.

这是别人的爱情故事。

But that's the thing, if it were any other section of the newspaper, the reporter would go to them too for a comment.

但事情就是这样，如果是报纸的其他版块，记者也会去找他们发表评论。

To get their side.

站在他们一边。

I think they should do that.

我认为他们应该这样做。

Ira Glass But because it's the wedding section, it's just like, well, it's not really their story.

艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：但是因为这是婚礼部分，所以这并不是他们的故事。

Right.

正确的。

Yeah, they have no say for themselves.

是啊，他们自己没有发言权。

They're done.

他们完成了。

This had nothing to do with them.

这与他们无关。

It's very bizarre.

这很奇怪。

It raises all kinds of questions for me.

它向我提出了各种各样的问题。

As a reader, I'm very distracted by it.

作为一名读者，我对此非常分心。

Well, today on our radio program, we go where the newspaper marriage columns fear to tread.

好吧，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们来到了报纸婚姻专栏不敢涉足的地方。

We hear from all parties to the affair, the cheated on, as well as the cheaters, and their differing takes on what happened.

我们听到了事件各方的声音，包括被骗者和作弊者，以及他们对所发生事件的不同看法。

And, no surprise, they are very different from one another's.

而且，毫不奇怪，它们彼此之间非常不同。

From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.

来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。

I'm Ira Glass.

我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Today on our show: "Infidelity." Stay with us.

今天我们的节目：“不忠”。留在我们身边。

"Let me kiss your stiff upper lip." We begin with this story from England, which, if you've read any 19th century literature, seems to be an island that is filled entirely with people who are full of submerged and often misplaced passions for other people.

“让我吻一下你僵硬的上唇。”我们从英国的这个故事开始，如果你读过任何 19 世纪的文学作品，你会发现英国似乎是一个岛上，岛上的人们对他人充满了被淹没的、常常被错位的热情。

Here's Ruby Wright.

请听鲁比·赖特的报道。

Yeah.

是的。

Ruby Wright But why did you end up in this part of Dorset?

鲁比·赖特 但你为什么会来到多塞特郡的这个地区呢？

I was looking for a house for myself and my two daughters, somewhere to live.

我正在为自己和两个女儿寻找房子，住的地方。

I always wanted to live in the countryside, having always lived in the towns in Dorset.

我一直想住在乡村，一直住在多塞特郡的城镇里。

And I saw it in the paper.

我在报纸上看到了。

It's as simple as that.

就这么简单。

No. Ruby Wright So how did you know about us?

没有。Ruby Wright 那么您是如何知道我们的？

I was at the pub.

我当时在酒吧。

And this couple walks in, and the bloke was wearing a leopard-skinned pillbox hat and I thought, I've got to get to know this person.

这对夫妇走进来，那个家伙戴着一顶豹皮药盒帽，我想，我必须认识这个人。

And he had a very attractive wife, I think that was-- I just saw them in the pub and thought, I must know these people.

他有一个非常有吸引力的妻子，我想那是——我刚刚在酒吧里看到他们，我想，我一定认识这些人。

This guy, Andrew, moved to the village.

这个家伙，安德鲁，搬到了村子里。

And he'd met us both together, at the same time, in the pub.

他同时在酒吧里遇见了我们。

And I would say that we both had a closeness to Andrew.

我想说我们都和安德鲁很亲近。

My closeness to Andrew was very much about talking about how I felt and how he felt.

我与安德鲁的亲密关系很大程度上在于谈论我的感受和他的感受。

And he would have various unsuitable girlfriends.

而且他还会有各种不合适的女朋友。

He'd have flings with people.

他会和人发生风流韵事。

And I'd say, come on, then Andrew, tell me about it.

我会说，来吧，安德鲁，告诉我这件事。

I liked it, he was very candid.

我很喜欢他，他很坦诚。

I was a single parent at the time, and it just seemed an idyllic situation.

那时我是单亲家长，这似乎是一个田园诗般的情况。

A beautiful old cottage with this couple, and their daughter living in it.

这对夫妇和他们的女儿住在一座美丽的老小屋里。

And it was a home from home, became a home from home for me.

这是一个家外之家，成为我的家外之家。

And you became a very good friend.

你们成了很好的朋友。

And I remember, you'd come up a lot, and we'd come down and see you.

我记得，你经常上来，我们会下来看你。

And you were always a very cozy person to have around.

你总是一个非常让人感到舒服的人。

It was always a delight when you used to come up and see us.

当你来看我们时，我们总是感到很高兴。

Yes.

是的。

I would argue that I'd fallen in love with the whole family.

我想说我已经爱上了整个家庭。

Including you and Ed, indeed, at that point.

事实上，当时也包括你和艾德。

When I started to fall in love with Andrew, it was like my falling in love with him was a direct parallel of my father dying.

当我开始爱上安德鲁时，就好像我爱上他就像我父亲的去世一样。

So as my father was dying at home of cancer, I was falling deeper and deeper in love with this man Andrew.

因此，当我父亲因癌症在家中去世时，我越来越深地爱着安德鲁这个男人。

And Andrew would talk to me about my father dying because he'd been with his mother, who died of a brain tumor.

安德鲁会跟我谈论我父亲的去世，因为他一直和他的母亲在一起，而他的母亲死于脑肿瘤。

He'd actually been beside her bed with her, as she died, and during that period.

事实上，在她去世的那段时间里，他一直在她的床边陪着她。

And I think I valued being with someone.

我想我很重视和某人在一起。

Because George's parents were both still very much alive at that point.

因为当时乔治的父母都还健在。

I think, for me, it was sort of-- I felt he had an understanding of what it was like.

我想，对我来说，这有点——我觉得他理解那是什么样子。

And it was very hard for me not to fall in love with him.

我很难不爱上他。

Did you think something was always going to happen?

你以为总会有事情发生吗？

No. I was convinced nothing would happen.

不，我确信不会发生任何事情。

I had fallen in love with her, so probably over the summer after her father's death, I was single at the time, just living with Tams, my younger daughter.

我爱上了她，所以可能在她父亲去世后的那个夏天，我当时单身，只是和我的小女儿塔姆斯住在一起。

And I didn't really want a partner at the time.

当时我并不真正想要一个合作伙伴。

So falling in love with Lal, I thought, that's OK.

所以爱上拉尔，我想，那没关系。

I can love somebody from afar, and I don't need to love anyone else.

我可以爱一个远方的人，而我不需要爱任何人。

And it had never occurred to me that she might even dream of falling in love with me.

我从来没有想过她甚至会梦想爱上我。

It just didn't occur to me that Lal might look at anyone other than George.

我只是没有想到拉尔可能会看乔治以外的任何人。

How did I know?

我怎么知道的？

Well, I'd come back from this trip, and it was Christmas.

嗯，我这次旅行回来了，那天是圣诞节。

And Lal said, "We're going to spend Christmas with Andrew." And I was delighted, because I couldn't think of anybody nicer to spend Christmas with.

拉尔说：“我们要和安德鲁一起过圣诞节。”我很高兴，因为我想不出还有谁比我更适合一起度过圣诞节了。

And I remember Andrew coming up the evening I got back.

我记得安德鲁在我回来的那天晚上来了。

I was going off to get the present for him that I'd bought.

我正要去拿我给他买的礼物。

I thought, that's odd, Lal and Andrew are not talking to each other.

我想，这很奇怪，拉尔和安德鲁没有互相交谈。

There's silence in the kitchen.

厨房里一片寂静。

And when he left, he kissed her on the back of the head.

离开时，他亲吻了她的后脑勺。

And I just-- something, I don't know, maybe I was-- one part of me was expecting something to happen one of these days.

我只是——我不知道，也许我是——我内心的一部分期待着有一天会发生一些事情。

It was confirmed, because mum has left her diary lying around.

这得到了证实，因为妈妈把她的日记留在了周围。

And I read it, and there it was.

我读了它，它就在那里。

So it was like she wanted you to find out without having to say it.

所以就好像她想让你不用说就能知道。

I think, yes.

我想，是的。

Ruby Wright And you actually had to tell me.

鲁比·赖特 你实际上必须告诉我。

Were you going to tell me together?

你们要一起告诉我吗？

Yes.

是的。

We were going to tell you-- I don't think we'd even discussed telling you.

我们本来要告诉你——我想我们甚至没有讨论过告诉你。

But what happened was, you had been away on a holiday and had come home.

但实际情况是，您外出度假并回家了。

And I picked you up, I think.

我想我是来接你的。

And you said to me, "Where is mum?" And I thought, what am I going to tell Ruby?

你对我说：“妈妈在哪儿？”我想，我要告诉鲁比什么？

I have probably half a minute to decide.

我大概有半分钟的时间来决定。

Am I going to tell her the truth or am I going to make up some story?

我该告诉她真相还是编造一些故事？

And I thought-- I just said to you, "Well, I think she's down at Andrew's." And I didn't have to say any more.

我想——我只是对你说，“嗯，我想她在安德鲁家。”我不必再说什么了。

You seemed to know.

你似乎知道。

You were very angry with me, quite rightly.

你对我很生气，这是正确的。

And I think up until that point, we had always had a very close relationship.

我认为在那之前，我们一直保持着非常密切的关系。

And your anger manifested itself mostly by you just refusing to see me.

而你的愤怒主要表现在你拒绝见我。

I think people were very shocked by what happened.

我认为人们对所发生的事情感到非常震惊。

And I was very shocked.

我非常震惊。

And Dad was very shocked.

爸爸非常震惊。

Were you surprised at yourself?

你对自己感到惊讶吗？

Or were you surprised at the force of your own attraction and actions?

或者你对自己的吸引力和行动的力量感到惊讶吗？

I am shocked now at how incredibly selfishly I acted.

我现在对自己的行为多么自私感到震惊。

And how oblivious I was to your pain and George's pain and Ed's pain.

我对你的痛苦、乔治的痛苦和艾德的痛苦是多么的无视。

Almost like I deserved this thing, I was on this track and I was heading off on it and nothing was going to deter me.

几乎就像我应得的一样，我就在这条轨道上，我正朝着它前进，没有什么能阻止我。

But as to say, almost as if I deserved it.

但要说的话，几乎就好像我应得的。

Almost as if I was owed it.

几乎就像是我欠了它一样。

George was tipped off.

乔治得到了通风报信。

And I felt-- as soon as I knew, I felt I had to go and face him.

我觉得——一旦我知道了，我就觉得我必须去面对他。

So I walked up to Manitoba and I can remember standing outside, in the bottom field, for a good half an hour, summoning up the courage to go and say to George, "This is true." I'd expected, quite literally expected him to hit me or bloody my nose or something like that.

所以我走到马尼托巴省，我记得站在外面，在最底层，整整半个小时，鼓起勇气去对乔治说：“这是真的。”我早就料到，确实料到他会打我，或者让我的鼻子流血之类的。

Or at least shout at me, or rave.

或者至少对我大喊大叫，或者大喊大叫。

I knocked on the door, he said, "Oh, Andrew.

我敲了敲门，他说：“哦，安德鲁。

Andrew, come in.

安德鲁，进来。

Come in.

进来吧。

Have a glass of wine."

喝杯酒吧。”

Five minutes later I was in floods of tears, and George wasn't.

五分钟后，我泪流满面，而乔治却没有。

It's just very odd.

这很奇怪。

It was all kind of wrong.

这一切都是错误的。

But what he said to me stayed with me, until now really, he said, "Andrew, I've lost my partner.

但他对我说的话一直萦绕在我心头，直到现在，他说：“安德鲁，我失去了我的伴侣。

I don't want to lose my best friend."

我不想失去我最好的朋友。”

I know I have a real problem with anger.

我知道我确实有一个愤怒的问题。

I mean, I don't tend to get angry.

我的意思是，我不太容易生气。

I find it a very hard emotion to express.

我发现这是一种很难表达的情感。

But I was angry at that point.

但当时我很生气。

I was very angry.

我很生气。

I remember standing at the sink doing the drying up and somehow the plates ended up being smashed on the floor.

我记得我站在水槽边擦干，不知怎的，盘子最终被砸在地板上。

The emotions were very, very odd because I was terribly, terribly fond of Andrew and he was very concerned about my well-being.

我的情绪非常非常奇怪，因为我非常非常喜欢安德鲁，而他非常关心我的幸福。

At that point I still believed, strongly, that we would all become friends again.

那时我仍然坚信，我们都会再次成为朋友。

I'm looking back and it's all terribly naive, really.

现在回想起来，我真的觉得这一切都太天真了。

But that's what I felt at the time, so I wanted to keep some kind of relationship going with George for this future, blissful time when we were all friends again.

但这就是我当时的感受，所以我想与乔治保持某种关系，以便未来我们再次成为朋友的幸福时光。

I think in my fantasy world, I would have carried on having a passionate, physical, sexual relationship with Andrew and a fond relationship with George.

我想在我的幻想世界中，我会继续与安德鲁保持充满激情的、身体的、性的关系，并与乔治保持美好的关系。

And the two would have somehow run together.

这两个人会以某种方式跑在一起。

I think some couples, through all their anger or hatred or battles, there's this incredible chemistry that still comes back.

我认为有些夫妻，尽管经历了所有的愤怒、仇恨或争斗，但仍然会产生这种令人难以置信的化学反应。

To your irritation, you can't get rid of this-- and I think with George somehow for me the chemistry disappeared quite early on.

令你恼火的是，你无法摆脱这一点——我认为对我来说，与乔治的化学反应很早就消失了。

I mean, the one thing we haven't discussed in all of this, you know, the question of sex.

我的意思是，我们在所有这一切中都没有讨论过一件事，你知道，性问题。

I mean, that was really at the heart of our split up.

我的意思是，这确实是我们分手的核心。

That mum did not-- she was not satisfied in that department.

那位妈妈没有——她对那个部门不满意。

And I knew that I had a part in this.

我知道我也参与其中。

That there was an aspect of our relationship, namely the sexual part of it, that I wasn't facing up to.

我们的关系中有一个方面，即性的部分，是我没有面对的。

That I had a responsibility in it.

我对此负有责任。

I wasn't an innocent victim, as it were.

可以说，我并不是一个无辜的受害者。

You could say that George loved Lal, he could understand me loving Lal.

你可以说乔治爱拉尔，他可以理解我爱拉尔。

And whilst that was contrary to his needs or wishes or whatever, he could understand it.

虽然这违背了他的需要或愿望或其他什么，但他可以理解。

In a sense, I think he never blamed me.

从某种意义上说，我认为他从未责怪过我。

I think he blamed Lal and not me.

我认为他责怪拉尔而不是我。

It got very complicated because George and Andrew, far from becoming rivals and having a duel at dawn-- far from George challenging Andrew to a duel at dawn, George kind of welcomed Andrew into the fold, and Andrew became a kind of member of my family, but without me there.

事情变得非常复杂，因为乔治和安德鲁远没有成为竞争对手并在黎明时决斗——远非乔治在黎明时挑战安德鲁进行决斗，乔治欢迎安德鲁加入，安德鲁成为我家庭的一员，但我不在场。

And there would be Sunday lunches and Saturday suppers and dances in Evershot.

周日的午餐和周六的晚餐以及在 Evershot 举行的舞会。

He was part of that.

他是其中的一部分。

And, of course, I felt like I was living in exile.

当然，我感觉自己生活在流亡之中。

I felt like I'd been exiled to this foreign country, albeit a beautiful one and it was six miles away.

我感觉自己被流放到了这个异国他乡，尽管那是一个美丽的国家，而且距离我有六英里。

But I felt I couldn't have been further away.

但我觉得我已经不能再走得更远了。

And Andrew was welcomed into the bosom of the family.

安德鲁也受到了家庭的欢迎。

And I think that caused enormous resentment for me.

我认为这引起了我的巨大不满。

I know it did.

我知道确实如此。

And I don't know whether Andrew ever understood that, what it was like, on a Sunday, to know that he was having lunch with my daughter and my son and my ex-partner.

我不知道安德鲁是否理解这一点，知道他在周日与我的女儿、我的儿子和我的前伴侣共进午餐是什么感觉。

And I was here.

我就在这里。

What then happened was that mum's relationship with Andrew didn't last.

后来发生的事情是，妈妈和安德鲁的关系并没有持续多久。

And I still continued to see Andrew because he lived just around the corner.

我仍然继续见到安德鲁，因为他就住在附近。

And I know that she found that incredibly hard.

我知道她发现这非常困难。

That when, despite the fact that she wasn't seeing Andrew, that I still was his friend.

那时，尽管她没有见到安德鲁，但我仍然是他的朋友。

And she felt excluded from my new life.

她觉得自己被排除在我的新生活之外。

I didn't think she had much right.

我不认为她有太多权利。

I've heard people say that it's impossible to have a relationship.

我听人说，建立关系是不可能的。

You can't stay with the person you leave your family for, because there's too much guilt and emotion.

你无法和你离开家人的人在一起，因为有太多的内疚和情感。

Do you think the fact that you left George for Andrew ultimately meant that you couldn't continue this relationship with him?

你认为你为了安德鲁而离开乔治这一事实最终意味着你不能与他继续这种关系吗？

Yes, I do.

是的，我愿意。

I don't think it's impossible.

我不认为这是不可能的。

But I think it was, if not inevitable, it was quite likely that those seeds of destruction that were laid right at the beginning, and blame did, in the end, undermine our relationship.

但我认为，即使不是不可避免，那些一开始就埋下的破坏种子和指责最终也很可能破坏了我们的关系。

Do you wish that you could turn the clock back?

你希望时光倒流吗？

No, because, at that point, I think I was still completely obsessed with Andrew.

不，因为，那时，我想我仍然完全迷恋安德鲁。

This idea that love being a madness.

这种爱的想法是疯狂的。

So I don't think at that point I did wish I could -- I think it was much later, I would wake, in the night, with the window on the wrong side of the room, sometime around dawn or before dawn, I think.

所以我不认为在那一点上我确实希望我能——我想那是很久以后的事了，我会在晚上醒来，窗户在房间的另一边，我想是黎明前后或黎明前的某个时候。

I'd just think, what am I doing in this place?

我只是想，我在这个地方做什么？

How have I got here?

我怎么到这里来了？

And it was as if I'd sleepwalked out of my other life, with no explanation, and I'd woken up and here I was.

就好像我从我的另一个生活中梦游出来，没有任何解释，然后我醒来，我就在这里。

And it was truly terrifying.

这确实很可怕。

And I think that, as long as I was damaging you lot, I was really not aware.

我认为，只要我伤害了你们，我就真的没有意识到。

But it was when I came to damage myself, that was when I really woke up.

但当我开始伤害自己的时候，我才真正醒悟。

Because I lost you.

因为我失去了你。

Effectively, I lost you between the ages of 13 and 18.

实际上，我在 13 岁到 18 岁之间就失去了你。

So my biggest loss was losing you for five years.

所以我最大的损失就是失去了你五年。

At puberty.

到了青春期。

You were 13, you were just about to have your first period.

那年你13岁，正值第一次月经来临。

You went off with George to Africa.

你和乔治一起去了非洲。

You came back and you looked different.

你回来了，你看起来不一样了。

And, actually, with maternal intuition-- which I obviously didn't have much of-- I remember looking at you and thinking, she's changed.

事实上，凭​​着母性的直觉——我显然没有太多的直觉——我记得我看着你，心想，她变了。

She started her period.

她开始经期了。

She's becoming a young woman.

她正在成为一名年轻女子。

And, sure enough, you told me.

果然，你告诉了我。

And I thought, God, George was there for that.

我想，上帝啊，乔治就在那里。

Her dad was there for that.

她的父亲就在那里。

Why wasn't I there for that?

为什么我不在场？

And I think during that whole time, we didn't really talk about how we felt, did we?

我想在那段时间里，我们并没有真正谈论我们的感受，不是吗？

No, I don't think so.

不，我不这么认为。

Ira Glass Ruby Wright.

艾拉·格拉斯·鲁比·赖特。

She does a music show called Ruby's Chicky Boil-Ups.

她举办了一档名为“Ruby's Chicky Boil-Ups”的音乐节目。

It airs every other Sunday on radionowhere.org.

该节目每隔一个周日在 radionowhere.org 上播出。

Her website is rubywright-- that's W-R-I-G-H-T-- dot com.

她的网站是 ruby​​wright——即 W-R-I-G-H-T——.com。

Coming up, what to say to your parents about the rich, married guy who set you up in an apartment when you're 22 years old.

接下来，对于在你 22 岁时为你安排一套公寓的富有的已婚男人，你该怎么向你的父母说呢？

And what to say to yourself.

以及对自己说些什么。

And other dilemmas of cheaters and the cheated on.

以及骗子和被骗者的其他困境。

In a minute.

一分钟后。

From Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.

当我们的节目继续进行时，来自芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台。

It's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.

这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Each week on our show, of course, we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.

当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。

Today's show: "Infidelity." Recently, when CNN did a story about Elizabeth Edwards, it was interesting to read the comments on CNN's website.

今天的节目：“不忠”。最近，当CNN做了一个关于伊丽莎白·爱德华兹的报道时，看CNN网站上的评论很有趣。

There were nearly 300 comments, a lot of them just vicious.

评论有近300条，其中很多都是恶毒的。

Calling her crazy, calling her delusional, calling her an idiot, to stay with her husband, John Edwards.

骂她疯了，骂她有妄想症，骂她白痴，只为了和她的丈夫约翰·爱德华兹在一起。

But a few women wrote in to say, it all seemed more complicated than that.

但一些女性写信说，事情似乎比这更复杂。

One posted this: "I am in this situation right now.

一位网友发帖称：“我现在正处于这种情况。

It's a difficult call to make." My mom was a psychologist, and she specialized in couples where somebody had cheated.

这是一个很难做出的决定。”我妈妈是一名心理学家，她专门研究有人出轨的夫妻。

She treated hundreds of these couples, and she did studies looking at hundreds more.

她治疗了数百对这样的夫妇，并对另外数百对进行了研究。

She wrote a book about her findings.

她写了一本关于她的发现的书。

There is solid research, a variety of researchers have shown, that in one out of two couples, one or both partners will cheat during the lifetime of a relationship.

各种研究人员已经进行了可靠的研究表明，每两对夫妇中就有一对，其中一方或双方都会在恋爱关系的一生中出轨。

That's 50% percent of all relationships.

这是所有关系的 50%。

Most affairs are never detected.

大多数事务从未被发现。

And one of the surprising things that my mom found out in her research was that tons of people will have affairs even though they're happy in their marriage.

我妈妈在研究中发现的令人惊讶的事情之一是，很多人即使婚姻幸福，也会发生外遇。

You don't have to be unhappy to have an affair.

你不必因为有外遇而感到不快乐。

56% of the men and 34% of the women in one of my mom's studies said they cheated though their marriage was happy.

在我妈妈的一项研究中，56% 的男性和 34% 的女性表示，尽管他们的婚姻很幸福，但他们还是出轨了。

And she said lots of couples came in to see where that was the situation.

她说很多夫妇都来看情况。

Where not only the cheated on partner, but the cheater seemed genuinely surprised that this had happened in their marriage.

不仅出轨的伴侣，而且出轨者似乎对他们婚姻中发生的这种情况感到真正惊讶。

Which brings us to our next story.

这引出了我们的下一个故事。

About the cheaters lurking inside any relationship.

关于潜伏在任何关系中的作弊者。

We're at Act 2 of our show, Act 2, "The Italian Job." This story comes from James Braly, who told it at the storytelling series, The Moth, in front of a live audience.

我们正在观看节目的第二幕，第二幕“意大利工作”。这个故事来自詹姆斯·布拉利 (James Braly)，他在讲故事系列剧《飞蛾》中向现场观众讲述了这个故事。

I am sitting on my suitcase in the main train station in Rome next to my girlfriend, Susan, who's sitting on hers.

在罗马的火车总站，我坐在我的行李箱上，旁边是我女朋友苏珊，她也坐在她的行李箱上。

And we're rifling through our Let's Go: Europe , trying to agree on the next destination of our vacation.

我们正在仔细浏览我们的《走吧：欧洲》，试图就我们假期的下一个目的地达成一致。

Susan grew up in Germany, so she'll go basically anyplace.

苏珊在德国长大，所以她基本上会去任何地方。

As long as it's sunny.

只要天气晴朗。

But I need to go to the right place.

但我需要去正确的地方。

And I have a pathological terror of going to the wrong place.

我对走错地方有一种病态的恐惧。

So, whenever Susan suggests someplace in particular, I suggest someplace else.

因此，每当苏珊特别建议某个地方时，我就会建议其他地方。

Because I can see something wrong with every place.

因为我可以看到每个地方都有问题。

And this is a gift I bring to every area of my life, notably my relationship with Susan.

这是我给生活各个方面带来的礼物，尤其是我和苏珊的关系。

We've been together for about seven years since college, and every time she brings up the subject of commitment-- maybe it's a good time to get married-- I say, I think I need a little more time just to make sure that what we're doing is right.

自大学以来我们已经在一起大约七年了，每次她提出承诺的话题——也许现在是结婚的好时机——我说，我想我需要更多的时间来确保我们正在做的事情是正确的。

So, as a result, all of the lights on the arrivals and departures board are blinking.

因此，到达和出发板上的所有指示灯都会闪烁。

And the man on the public address system keeps saying departzione over and over and over again.

公共广播系统上的那个人不断地一遍又一遍地说“离开”。

And Susan is up on her feet, screaming at me, "Make up your mind before all the trains pull out."

苏珊站了起来，对我尖叫：“在所有火车开出之前，你就下定决心吧。”

While I am kind of hypnotized by the hem of this flower print dress, it's about 10 feet away, fluttering in the breeze each time a train pulls in or out of the station.

虽然我有点被这件花朵印花连衣裙的下摆催眠了，但它距离车站大约 10 英尺，每次火车进站或出站时都会在微风中飘扬。

Which, at this point, is frequently.

在这一点上，这是经常发生的。

Which is hanging off what may be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, who is standing next to her beautiful friend.

这可能是我见过的最美丽的女人，她站在她美丽的朋友旁边。

When Susan says, "Are you looking at those women?" And I say, "Where?"

当苏珊说：“你在看那些女人吗？”我说：“哪里？”

And she says, "Right there, in the flower print dresses." And I say, "You mean them?" And she says, "Yes.

她说：“就在那里，穿着花朵印花连衣裙。”我说：“你是说他们吗？”她说：“是的。

They look interesting, don't they?

它们看起来很有趣，不是吗？

Like maybe they're going someplace interesting we might want to go.

就像也许他们要去某个我们可能想去的有趣的地方。

You know what?

你知道吗？

I think I'll ask them." And before I can tell her what a bad idea that is, she's over there talking to them in French.

我想我会问他们。”在我告诉她这是一个多么糟糕的主意之前，她已经在那边用法语和他们交谈了。

And they're pointing at me, and a few minutes later she's introducing them to me.

他们指着我，几分钟后她把他们介绍给我。

Isabel is the beautiful one and her sister is a gloriously beautiful woman named Franz, who has a face off of one of those French go to war, buy war bonds posters that makes you want to invade.

伊莎贝尔很漂亮，她的妹妹是一位非常美丽的女人，名叫弗兰茨，她的脸就像那些法国人开战、购买战争债券的海报，让你想要入侵。

So I'm just staring at her as Susan says, "Guess what, James?

所以我只是盯着她，苏珊说：“你猜怎么着，詹姆斯？

They're going to Positano." Which is one of the numerous fishing villages we debated going to.

他们要去波西塔诺。”这是我们争论要去的众多渔村之一。

"What do you say we all travel together?"

“你说我们一起旅行怎么样？”

And two minutes later Franz and I are on the same vacation.

两分钟后，弗朗茨和我就在同一个假期了。

Sitting on a train to Naples, and then on a hydrofoil to Positano, and then checking into the same hotel, into adjacent rooms where we're going to change into our swimsuits and meet on the beach.

坐火车去那不勒斯，然后乘水翼船去波西塔诺，然后入住同一家酒店，住进相邻的房间，在那里我们换上泳衣，在海滩上见面。

Now, I haven't been in a swimsuit for years, since the last time I was on the beach.

自从上次去海滩以来，我已经好几年没有穿泳衣了。

And I'm looking in the mirror in the hotel and things have changed since then.

我看着酒店的镜子，从那时起事情就发生了变化。

A little Italian bakery opened up around the corner from my office.

我办公室的拐角处开了一家意大利小面包店。

And I'd been going there every workday, having apricot bear claws.

我每个工作日都去那里，吃杏熊爪。

And now I have two apricot bear claws hanging off the sides of my waist, bubbling up over my swimsuit.

现在我的腰部两侧挂着两只杏色的熊爪，在我的泳衣上冒泡。

And it's one thing to decay in front of your girlfriend, there is a kind of mutual decay contract, where you are all going to atrophy at more or less the same rate.

在你女朋友面前腐烂是一回事，有一种相互腐烂的契约，你们都会以或多或少相同的速度萎缩。

But I don't have that deal with Franz.

但我和弗朗茨没有那个协议。

And there's no way she's seeing my bear claws.

她不可能看到我的熊爪。

So when we meet on the beach, the girls are in French bikinis.

所以当我们在海滩见面时，女孩们都穿着法式比基尼。

And I'm in my shorts and my button down shirt from the train ride, like I forgot to undress half myself.

我穿着短裤和火车上的纽扣衬衫，就像我忘记脱掉一半衣服一样。

And after a couple hours of them swimming, Franz comes over to me and says, "Do you not swim?" And I say, "Indoors.

他们游了几个小时后，弗兰茨走过来对我说：“你不会游泳吗？”我说：“在室内。

I burn easily." And she hands me her bottle of sunblock.

我很容易烧伤。”她递给我她的一瓶防晒霜。

And I start to shake my head sadly, and point to one of the ingredients, and I say, "I'm allergic."

我开始悲伤地摇摇头，指着其中一种成分说：“我过敏。”

There are six more days to go.

距离结束还有六天。

So, the next morning, after an all nighter with Let's Go: Europe , I have a comprehensive understanding of all the cultural high points within a 30-mile radius of the city of Positano.

于是，第二天一早，在《Let's Go: Europe》一整夜之后，我对波西塔诺市方圆30英里内的所有文化高点有了一个全面的了解。

None of which include the beach.

其中都不包括海滩。

There is Mount Vesuvius and the Grottoes of Capri and the Hanging Gardens at Ravenna.

有维苏威火山和卡普里岛石窟以及拉文纳的空中花园。

And we can go to a beach anywhere, but there's only so many places you can see this kind of culture.

我们可以去任何地方的海滩，但只有这么多地方可以看到这种文化。

That's the position I'm taking.

这就是我所采取的立场。

And the French love culture.

法国人热爱文化。

And the Germans admire the French.

德国人钦佩法国人。

So six days later, we're all just about as pasty as when we stepped off the hydrofoil.

六天后，我们都像走下水翼时一样面色苍白。

My secret waist is still a secret.

我的秘密腰至今仍然是一个秘密。

And I make it to the last night, we have a little farewell dinner at a seaside restaurant and we're walking on the beach one last time, for old time's sake.

我熬到了最后一晚，我们在一家海边餐厅吃了一顿告别晚餐，最后一次在海滩上散步，看在旧时光的份上。

Saying our goodbyes.

和我们说再见。

Everyone is a little misty.

每个人都有点云里雾里。

Except me.

除了我。

I can't wait to go home in the morning.

我早上就迫不及待地想回家了。

When Franz says, "Does anyone want to go swimming?" And her relatively more modest sister says, "We don't have suits." And fearless, guileless, dramatic Susan says, "That's OK with me." And a couple of minutes later, they're standing on the beach in panties and bras.

当弗朗茨说：“有人想去游泳吗？”她相对谦虚的姐姐说：“我们没有西装。”无所畏惧、坦诚、戏剧性的苏珊说：“我没意见。”几分钟后，他们穿着内裤和胸罩站在海滩上。

Which are very different than bikinis.

这与比基尼有很大不同。

And Franz's are chocolate brown lace.

Franz 的蕾丝是巧克力棕色的。

Her skin is the color of milk.

她的皮肤是牛奶色。

She looks like a profiterole.

她看起来像一个泡芙。

My favorite dessert.

我最喜欢的甜点。

It is agony to keep my eyes open, but I can't close them.

睁开眼睛很痛苦，但又无法闭上。

And the three of them run into the water, laughing and splashing, and then finally disappearing underneath the surface.

三人跑入水中，嬉笑着，溅起水花，最后消失在水面之下。

So everything is quiet for a moment and then one, two, three, they pop up and start calling at me, like sirens.

所以一切都安静了一会儿，然后一、二、三，他们突然出现并开始像警报一样呼唤我。

Who actually lived in Positano 3,000 years ago.

3000 年前，他实际上居住在波西塔诺。

"James, come in.

“詹姆斯，进来吧。

It's wonderful."

太棒了。”

I haven't been swimming one time, and it's dark.

我一次都没有游过泳，而且天已经黑了。

So I make a decision.

所以我做出决定。

I'm going to take off my shoes and socks and pants and I put them on a beach chair.

我要脱掉鞋子、袜子和裤子，然后把它们放在沙滩椅上。

And I unbutton my shirt and thread out my arms so that it's just hanging there like a little poncho.

我解开衬衫扣子，伸出双臂，让它像一件小斗篷一样挂在那里。

And when Franz disappears into the water again, it goes off on the back of a beach chair and I'm in.

当弗朗茨再次消失在水中时，它在沙滩椅背上爆炸，我也进去了。

But I've waited so long to make up my mind that Susan's cold.

但我等了很久才下定决心，苏珊感冒了。

Franz's sister is ready to go back as well.

弗兰兹的妹妹也准备回去了。

But Franz is fine, and I just got in, and we're all vacation buddies.

但弗朗兹很好，我也刚进来，我们都是度假伙伴。

So Susan and the sister go back to the hotel, leaving Franz and I, for first time, alone.

于是苏珊和姐姐回到了旅馆，留下弗兰茨和我，这是第一次，单独一人。

In the dark, in our underwear, in the Mediterranean, where they invented the word "philander." And, where it occurs to me, we can have sex without her seeing my body.

在黑暗中，在我们的内衣里，在地中海，他们发明了“花花公子”这个词。而且，如果我想到的话，我们可以在她不看到我的身体的情况下发生性行为。

So I swim around for a little bit, and trying to figure out what's the personal space in the Mediterranean.

所以我游了一会儿，试图找出地中海的个人空间。

How close can you swim before you can't swim away?

在无法游走之前，你能游多近？

And whatever that distance is, Franz swims right to the edge of it and says, "The water makes me feel so free." It's not having that effect on me.

不管这个距离是多少，弗朗兹都会游到边缘并说道：“水让我感到如此自由。”它对我没有那种影响。

I got bear claws to hide and promises to keep.

我有熊爪要隐藏并遵守诺言。

And I am so tense that I can't breathe normally, which makes me look abnormal.

而且我紧张得无法正常呼吸，这让我看起来很不正常。

Which leads Franz to say, "Is everything OK?

这让弗朗兹说道：“一切都好吗？

Maybe we should go back." And she gets out of the water, and stands on the beach dripping in the moonlight, dabbing at herself with her dress.

也许我们应该回去。”她从水里出来，站在月光下的海滩上，用裙子擦拭着自己。

So I've got one eye on her, and the other on my shirt, which is fluttering off the back of this chair.

所以我一只眼睛看着她，另一只眼睛看着我的衬衫，衬衫从椅背上飘落。

And I get closer and closer, spreading my legs wider and wider, so that only my head is visible.

我越来越近，双腿越开越宽，只剩下我的头。

Like an alligator.

就像鳄鱼一样。

It looks like I'm in about six feet of water, but really it's about 18 inches.

看起来我在大约 6 英尺深的水中，但实际上大约有 18 英寸深。

My thighs are in agony, and I can't hold out much longer, when Franz lifts her dress, over her head and I spring up on the beach and behind the chair and I am wet but covered when her head pops through the dress hole and steps back in surprise and lets out a little French vowel, "Ah."

我的大腿很痛苦，我再也坚持不了多久了，弗朗兹把她的裙子举过头顶，我跳到海滩上，在椅子后面，我浑身湿透，但被盖住了，这时她的头从裙子的洞里钻出来，惊讶地后退一步，发出一个小小的法语元音，“啊”。

And we get dressed and we're walking across the cobblestones, back to the hotel, which are slightly uneven, so the backs of our hands brush.

我们穿好衣服，穿过鹅卵石路，回到酒店，路面有些凹凸不平，所以我们的手背会擦过。

And she takes mine in hers.

她把我的纳入她的。

Which I've read in the Let's Go: Europe is a friendly and warm gesture among European women.

我在《走吧：欧洲》中读到的内容是欧洲女性友好而温暖的姿态。

Don't get any ideas.

不要有任何想法。

So I'm feeling friendly and warm, trying not to have any ideas.

所以我感到友好和温暖，尽量不抱有任何想法。

When Franz says, "Susan is very lucky to have you." And I say, "Well, thank you very much, but I'm very lucky to have her." Trying to regain a shred of dignity while holding onto this woman's hand.

当弗朗茨说：“苏珊很幸运有你。”我说：“嗯，非常感谢你，但我很幸运能拥有她。”握着这个女人的手，试图挽回一丝尊严。

James Braly.He's touring the country with a one-man show called Life in a Marital Institution , which he's also turning into a book.

詹姆斯·布拉利（James Braly）正在全国巡回演出一个名为《婚姻制度中的生活》的个人表演，他还将该表演改编成一本书。

His website, jamesbraly-- that's B-R-A-L-Y-- dot com.

他的网站 jamesbraly——即 B-R-A-L-Y——.com。

Thanks, as always, to The Moth, which features personal stories told live in front of an audience.

一如既往地感谢《飞蛾》，它在观众面前现场讲述了个人故事。

For more Moth stories, check out The Moth's great free weekly podcasts at themoth.org.

欲了解更多 Moth 故事，请在 themoth.org 上查看 The Moth 精彩的每周免费播客。

And The Moth has started its own radio show, The Moth Radio Hour, which we welcome onto the scene, now on public radio stations around the country.

The Moth 已经开始了自己的广播节目“Moth Radio Hour”，我们欢迎它出现在全国各地的公共广播电台上。

Act Three: How Did I Get Here?

第三幕：我是怎么到这里的？

Ira Glass Act 3, "How did I get here?" So James Braly gave us the thoughts of somebody in a moment before infidelity occurs.

艾拉·格拉斯第三幕，“我是怎么到这里的？”因此，詹姆斯·布拉利（James Braly）向我们展示了某人在不忠发生前一刻的想法。

Dani Shapiro has this story about the confusing mess it can be during the affair.

丹尼·夏皮罗（Dani Shapiro）讲述了这段恋情期间可能出现的令人困惑的混乱情况。

For a long time I believed him, with every bone in my body I trusted that Lenny Klein was telling me the truth.

很长一段时间我都相信他，我全身上下都相信莱尼·克莱因说的是实话。

When we talked about it, his jaw would tighten and his big brown eyes would fill with tears.

当我们谈论这件事时，他的下巴会绷紧，棕色的大眼睛里充满了泪水。

His voice would quaver with pent-up, complex feelings that I couldn't possibly begin to understand.

他的声音因压抑而颤抖，复杂的情感让我无法理解。

Poor Lenny.

可怜的莱尼。

I marveled that so many bad things could happen to one person.

我很惊讶一个人会发生这么多坏事。

And I vowed to take care of him.

我也发誓要照顾他。

I exhorted myself to be a real woman, one who could step up to the plate and be good to her man in his moment of crisis.

我告诫自己要成为一名真正的女人，一个能够挺身而出，在男人危难时刻善待他的女人。

Years later, I hold Lenny's lies up to the light and examine my own reasons for believing what, in retrospect, seems preposterous.

多年后，我将莱尼的谎言暴露在光天化日之下，并审视自己相信那些事后看来似乎荒谬的事情的理由。

I reread my old journals and noticed the way my girlish handwriting deteriorated into a scrawl as I wrote, "I have to be there for Lenny, he needs me, and he's going through so much.

我重读了我的旧日记，发现我少女般的笔迹已经变成了潦草的字迹，我写道：“我必须在莱尼身边，他需要我，而他正在经历这么多。

I don't know if I can handle it, but I have to be strong." I try to remember that Lenny was a trial lawyer, that he built an international reputation based on his own pathology.

我不知道我是否能应付，但我必须坚强。”我努力记住莱尼是一名出庭律师，他根据自己的病态建立了国际声誉。

That he lied with an almost evangelical conviction.

他以近乎福音派的信念撒谎。

He prided himself on being able to convince anyone of anything.

他为自己能够说服任何人相信任何事情而感到自豪。

The lies had small beginnings.

这些谎言都是从小事开始的。

Lenny called me from a business trip and told me he was at Montreal airport, waiting to catch a flight to Calgary.

莱尼出差给我打电话，告诉我他在蒙特利尔机场，等待搭乘飞往卡尔加里的航班。

I checked with the airline and found out that the flight would take approximately five hours, so when Lenny called an hour later to say he had landed in Calgary, I very calmly asked him where he really was.

我向航空公司查询，发现航班大约需要五个小时，所以当一个小时后莱尼打电话说他已经降落在卡尔加里时，我非常平静地问他到底在哪里。

"Calgary," he said.

“卡尔加里，”他说。

"No, Lenny.

“不，莱尼。

Really." He stuck to his story.

真的。”他坚持自己的故事。

In the time that I knew him, he never, ever changed his story midstream.

在我认识他的时候，他从来没有中途改变过他的故事。

I hung up on him and called his family's house in Westchester.

我挂断了他的电话，给他位于韦斯特切斯特的家打了电话。

When the maid answered the phone, I asked to speak with Mr. Klein.

当女仆接电话时，我要求与克莱因先生通话。

And when he picked up the extension, and I heard his rough, craggy, "Hello," I screamed so hard into his ear that he dropped the receiver.

当他拿起分机时，我听到他粗声粗气的“哈喽”，我对着他的耳朵大声尖叫，以至于他掉下了听筒。

He raced into the city, he let himself into my apartment and found me curled up in bed.

他跑进城里，闯进我的公寓，发现我蜷缩在床上。

He scooped me up and held me to his chest.

他把我抱起来，抱在胸前。

His wife wasn't home, he told me.

他告诉我，他的妻子不在家。

She was having shock treatment.

她正在接受休克治疗。

And someone had to take care of his daughter.

而且必须有人照顾他的女儿。

He hadn't wanted to tell me because he wanted to spare me, to protect me from the horror of his life.

他不想告诉我，因为他想饶恕我，保护我免受他生活中的恐怖之苦。

Surely I understood.

我当然明白了。

"Shush, sweetheart," he murmured into the top of my head as I wept, my face beet red like a little girl's.

“嘘，亲爱的，”当我哭泣时，他对着我的头顶低声说道，我的脸红得像个小女孩。

"So many people need me," he said.

“这么多人需要我，”他说。

"But I love you best of all."

“但我最喜欢你。”

Two years have passed, and something has gone wrong, terribly wrong with my life.

两年过去了，有些事情出了问题，我的生活出了严重的问题。

I don't, in fact, think of my life as my life, but rather as a series of random events that have no logical connection.

事实上，我并不认为我的生活就是我的生活，而是一系列没有逻辑联系的随机事件。

I'm no longer a student.

我不再是学生了。

I dropped out of Sarah Lawrence after my junior year, supposedly to pursue acting.

大三后我从莎拉·劳伦斯学院退学，据说是为了追求演艺事业。

And I'm actually doing a pretty good imitation of an actress.

事实上我正在很好地模仿一位女演员。

But I'm doing an even better imitation of a mistress.

但我正在更好地模仿情妇。

Lenny's been busy buying me things.

莱尼一直忙着给我买东西。

I don't particularly want these things, but they seem to be what Lenny is offering in lieu of himself.

我并不是特别想要这些东西，但它们似乎是莱尼代替他自己提供的。

So quite suddenly, overnight really, I find myself driving a black Mercedes convertible.

突然之间，真的是一夜之间，我发现自己驾驶着一辆黑色梅赛德斯敞篷车。

And just in case I might be mistaken for anything other than a kept woman, I wear a mink coat, a Cartier watch, a Bulgari necklace with an ancient coin at its center.

为了以防万一我可能被误认为是一个被包养的女人，我穿了一件貂皮大衣、一块卡地亚手表、一条宝格丽项链，项链中央有一枚古钱币。

The Mercedes is a step down from the first car Lenny gave me, when we had been going out for a month.

梅赛德斯比莱尼给我的第一辆车差了一步，当时我们已经出去一个月了。

A leased Ferrari.

一辆租用的法拉利。

I don't know how to drive a stick shift, so the Ferrari was a bit of a problem.

我不知道如何驾驶变速杆，所以法拉利有点问题。

What I must have looked like, a 20-year-old blonde, dressed like Ivana Trump, stalled in traffic, grinding gears, trying to find the point on the clutch to hold that ridiculous car in place.

我看起来一定是这样的，一个 20 岁的金发女郎，穿着像伊万娜·特朗普 (Ivana Trump) 那样的衣服，在车流中停滞不前，磨着齿轮，试图找到离合器上的点来将那辆可笑的汽车固定到位。

Lenny rented an apartment on a pretty little street in Greenwich Village.

莱尼在格林威治村一条漂亮的小街上租了一套公寓。

A furnished triplex with a garden, a fireplace, and a bedroom with a four-poster bed.

一间带家具的三层公寓，设有花园、壁炉和一间配有四柱床的卧室。

He called it "our house," as if he didn't have another home with a whole family in it an hour north of the city.

他称其为“我们的房子”，就好像他在距城市以北一小时车程的地方没有另一处全家人居住的家一样。

He kept half a dozen suits in the bedroom closet, and a brand new silk robe hung behind the bathroom door.

他在卧室衣柜里放了六套西装，浴室门后挂着一件全新的丝绸长袍。

There was an entire floor we didn't use, a large airy children's nursery.

有一整层楼我们没有使用，是一个宽敞通风的儿童托儿所。

My parents knew that something was up.

我的父母知道出事了。

They knew I was going out with somebody, but they had no idea who.

他们知道我要和某人约会，但他们不知道是谁。

I was drifting away from them, and they were letting me go.

我渐渐远离他们，而他们却让我离开。

One night I invited them over for dinner.

一天晚上，我邀请他们来吃晚饭。

I pushed all traces of Lenny out of sight, but, of course, there were clues.

我把莱尼的所有痕迹都抹去了视线之外，但是，当然，线索还是有的。

A glossy brochure for Italian yachts.

意大利游艇的精美手册。

A humidor in the center of the coffee table.

咖啡桌中央的雪茄盒。

I cooked up a storm and the place was filled with homey smells.

我掀起了一场风暴，这个地方充满了家的味道。

Garlic, basil, coriander.

大蒜，罗勒，香菜。

It was winter, and the snow was piled up on the sills.

那是冬天，窗台上堆满了雪。

Spotlights in the backyard shone on the landscaped garden, the redwood table, the Adirondack chairs.

后院的聚光灯照在风景优美的花园、红木桌子和阿迪朗达克椅子上。

I had my father's favorite music, Dvorak's Symphony for the New World , playing on the stereo system.

音响系统上播放着我父亲最喜欢的音乐——德沃夏克的《新世界交响曲》。

My parents rang the doorbell.

我的父母按响了门铃。

They looked so solid standing on my front stoop, their cold, red noses poking out from above their mufflers.

他们站在我家门前的门廊上，看起来很坚固，冰冷、红红的鼻子从围巾上方伸出来。

If nothing else, they looked like they belonged together.

如果不出意外的话，他们看起来就像是一体的。

They were elegant and rangy, similarly proportioned.

他们优雅而修长，比例相似。

Unlike Lenny and me.

不像莱尼和我。

Lenny's as thick as a linebacker, and I had become so delicate, the wind could have picked me up and blown me away.

莱尼像后卫一样厚重，而我却变得如此脆弱，风可能会把我卷起并吹走。

My mother strode into the brownstone as if it wasn't the weirdest thing in the world to be visiting her daughter in a lavish apartment with no name on the outside buzzer.

我母亲大步走进褐砂石建筑，仿佛在一间豪华公寓里看望她的女儿，外面的蜂鸣器上没有名字，这并不是世界上最奇怪的事情。

My father trailed behind her wearily, as if setting foot on another planet.

父亲疲倦地跟在她身后，仿佛踏上了另一个星球。

My mother entered the living room, flung her arms wide, and did an impromptu dance to Dvorak.

我母亲走进客厅，张开双臂，即兴为德沃夏克跳了一支舞。

"Tra-la-la-la," she trilled.

“特拉-拉-拉-拉，”她颤声说道。

My father and I hung back and watched, our faces crumpled into awkward smiles.

我和父亲停下来看着，我们的脸上都露出了尴尬的微笑。

It didn't occur to me that she was frightened.

我没想到她害怕了。

That this was a lot for her to take in, her college dropout daughter living in the lap of luxury.

她大学辍学的女儿生活在奢侈的生活中，这对她来说是一个沉重的负担。

All I could see was her outsized self, twirling around my living room in her fur coat and boots.

我所能看到的就是她巨大的自我，穿着毛皮大衣和靴子在我的客厅里旋转。

I wanted a drink.

我想喝一杯。

I poured two glasses of chardonnay for my parents and a large vodka for myself.

我给父母倒了两杯霞多丽，给自己倒了一大杯伏特加。

I figured that if the vodka was in a water glass they wouldn't know the difference, especially if I drank it like it was water.

我想如果伏特加装在水杯里，他们就不会知道有什么区别，特别是如果我像喝水一样喝它。

My drinking had taken on a new urgency in the past few months.

在过去的几个月里，我的饮酒变得更加紧迫。

It was no longer a question of desire, but of need.

这不再是欲望的问题，而是需要的问题。

I could not get through an evening like this without the armor of booze.

如果没有酒的铠甲，我无法度过这样的一个夜晚。

I handed them their wine and directed them to the couch.

我把酒递给他们，然后引导他们到沙发上。

On the coffee table, I had put out a plate of crudites and a bowl of olives.

咖啡桌上，我放了一盘蔬菜和一碗橄榄。

"Quite a place," my mother said brightly, her gaze darting around the room at the white brick fireplace with its wrought iron tools, the glass wall overlooking the garden, the soaring ceiling.

“真是一个地方，”我母亲明亮地说，她的目光扫视着房间里的白砖壁炉和锻铁工具，俯瞰着花园的玻璃墙，还有高耸的天花板。

My father stared at the fringe of the rug, glassy eyed.

父亲目光呆滞地盯着地毯的边缘。

He needed to be as numbed as I did to get through this night.

他需要像我一样麻木才能度过这个夜晚。

"Thanks," I murmured, as if she was paying me a compliment.

“谢谢。”我低声说道，好像她在恭维我。

I checked on dinner, using the opportunity to gulp some wine from the open bottle in the fridge.

我检查了晚餐，趁机喝了冰箱里开着的酒瓶里的一些酒。

Vodka and white wine was a combination I knew worked for me.

我知道伏特加和白葡萄酒的组合对我很有效。

If I stuck with the formula, things shouldn't be too bad in the morning.

如果我坚持这个公式，早上的情况应该不会太糟糕。

Especially if I wasn't eating, and I couldn't see myself eating.

尤其是当我不吃东西，而且我看不到自己吃东西的时候。

The music had stopped by the time we all sat at the dining room table, but I didn't notice then.

当我们都坐在餐桌旁时，音乐已经停止了，但我当时没有注意到。

If I had I would certainly have changed the tape, filled the air with something other than the tinny, lonely sound of our three forks scraping against plates.

如果我有的话，我肯定会更换磁带，让空气中充满其他东西，而不是我们的三个叉子刮擦盘子时发出的微弱而孤独的声音。

I pushed my chicken from one side of my plate to the other.

我把鸡肉从盘子的一侧推到另一侧。

My stomach clenched and growled in protest.

我的胃紧缩起来，发出抗议的叫声。

It seemed that my parents and I, after 22 years in each other's company, had run out of things to say.

我和父母在彼此陪伴了 22 年之后，似乎已经无话可说了。

I already knew their views on the political situation in Israel, and we couldn't discuss my school work, I was no longer in school.

我已经知道他们对以色列政治局势的看法，我们不能讨论我的学业，我已经不再上学了。

My father pressed a corner of his napkin to his lips and murmured something about the food being delicious.

父亲将餐巾的一角抵在嘴唇上，低声说食物很美味。

My mother agreed.

我妈妈同意了。

"My wonderful daughter," she said, shaking her head.

“我很棒的女儿，”她摇着头说。

"You've turned into such a little homemaker." I looked at my parents across the table.

“你变成了一个小家庭主妇。”我看着桌子对面的父母。

Is that what they really thought?

他们真的是这么想的吗？

How could they just sit there?

他们怎么能坐在那里？

Some small piece of me wanted my father to fling me over his shoulder and carry me kicking and screaming to the car he had parked outside.

我心里的某个小部分希望父亲把我扔到他的肩上，把我踢着、尖叫着带到他停在外面的车上。

I secretly wished that they would drive me home, deposit me in my childhood bedroom, and feed me chicken soup and Saltines.

我暗自希望他们能开车送我回家，把我安置在我儿时的卧室里，给我喝鸡汤和咸饼干。

I wanted to start my life over again, but I didn't know how.

我想重新开始我的生活，但我不知道如何开始。

In the face of the most tangible proof that Lenny had been lying to me all these years, I remained with him.

面对莱尼这些年来一直在对我撒谎的最确凿的证据，我仍然和他在一起。

"My little girl is dying," he would say whenever I noticed the discrepancies in his stories.

“我的小女儿快要死了，”每当我注意到他的故事中的差异时，他就会说。

Or "My children's mother is having electroshock therapy." When I couldn't take my own confusion anymore-- Was Lenny lying to me?

或者“我孩子的母亲正在接受电击治疗。”当我再也无法忍受自己的困惑时——莱尼在骗我吗？

Was I going crazy?-- I decided to hire a detective to get to the bottom of it.

我是不是疯了？——我决定雇一名侦探来查个水落石出。

By this time, my parents knew all about me and Lenny in theory, but it wasn't something we could talk about.

到这个时候，我的父母理论上已经了解了我和莱尼的一切，但这不是我们可以谈论的事情。

When I think back to my younger self rifling through the New York City yellow pages in search of a private investigator, I feel like I'm watching a movie about someone else.

当我回想起年轻时翻遍纽约市黄页寻找私家侦探的情景时，我感觉自己就像在看一部关于别人的电影。

A girl so clueless she really didn't know that her desire to hire a detective was all the answer she needed.

一个如此无能的女孩，她真的不知道她想要聘请一名侦探的愿望就是她所需要的全部答案。

I chose a detective agency based on nothing more than its good address, in the East 60s, a neighborhood filled with private schools and shrinks.

我选择一家侦探社只是因为它的地址好，位于东 60 年代，一个充满私立学校和心理医生的社区。

"This isn't what you think," I told the detective.

“这不是你想的那样，”我告诉侦探。

"I'm in a relationship with a married man, and I want you to find out if my boyfriend is cheating on me with his wife." At this, his eyebrows shot up.

“我正在和一个已婚男人谈恋爱，我想让你知道我的男朋友是否和他的妻子一起欺骗了我。”说到这里，他的眉毛扬了起来。

"Come again?" "He claims his wife is in a mental hospital.

“再来一次？” “他声称他的妻子在精神病院里。

He told me he hasn't been with her in years." "And you think he might be lying?" said the investigator.

他告诉我他已经很多年没有和她在一起了。” “你认为他可能在撒谎？”调查员说。

Did I see the laughter behind his eyes or is my memory supplying it now?

我是否看到了他眼底的笑声，或者是我的记忆现在提供了它？

Because I simply cannot imagine a middle-aged man listening to an earnest, over-dressed 22-year-old girl tell them that she thinks her boyfriend might still be sleeping with his wife.

因为我根本无法想象一个中年男人会听一个认真、衣冠楚楚的 22 岁女孩告诉他们，她认为她的男朋友可能还在和他的妻子睡觉。

"Yes," I said.

“是的，”我说。

Days later, I got the proof about Lenny's lies.

几天后，我得到了莱尼谎言的证据。

In tears, I called my mother.

我流着泪给妈妈打电话。

"Oh, darling.

“哦，亲爱的。

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉。

Is there anything I can do?" "I don't think so." A pause.

有什么我可以做的吗？” “我不这么认为。”停顿一下。

"Do you want me to call his wife?"

“要我给他老婆打电话吗？”

My mother and Mrs. Klein had met each other at a few school functions back when none of this could have struck anyone as a remote possibility.

我的母亲和克莱因夫人是在几次学校活动中认识的，当时任何人都不会认为这一切是一种遥远的可能性。

"Yes," I said.

“是的，”我说。

"Call her." "I'll do it right now," my mother said.

“给她打电话。” “我现在就做，”妈妈说。

I sat by the phone and watched the minutes tick by.

我坐在电话旁，看着时间一分一秒过去。

I pictured Lenny's wife answering the phone with a chirpy hello, and my mother's slow, steady explanation of why she was calling.

我想象着莱尼的妻子接电话时轻快地打招呼，而我母亲则缓慢而稳定地解释她打电话的原因。

I had set in motion a chain of events which was now unstoppable.

我引发了一系列的事件，现在已经无法阻止。

More than 20 minutes passed before my mother called me back.

二十多分钟过去了，妈妈才给我回电话。

"Well, I did it," she said.

“嗯，我做到了，”她说。

"You talked to her?" The world felt unreal, hallucinatory.

“你跟她说话了？”感觉这个世界不真实，充满幻觉。

"Yes.

“是的。

She called me a liar.

她称我为骗子。

She told me she has a happy marriage to a man who travels a lot.

她告诉我，她和一个经常旅行的男人有一段幸福的婚姻。

That he's on his way to California.

他正在去加利福尼亚的路上。

And I said, 'No, he's on his way to see my daughter.'" My mother sounded proud of herself, immersed in the drama of the moment.

我说，‘不，他正在去看我女儿的路上。’”我母亲听起来很自豪，沉浸在当下的戏剧性事件中。

"How did she seem?" I asked.

“她看上去怎么样？”我问。

"What do you mean?" "Lenny's wife, was she angry?" "No," my mother said slowly.

“你是什么意思？” “莱尼的妻子，她生气了吗？” “不，”妈妈慢慢地说。

"She just didn't believe me, Dani."

“她只是不相信我，丹尼。”

I spent the rest of that day in a state of awful excitement.

那天剩下的时间我都在极度兴奋的状态中度过。

Something was going to happen.

有事要发生了。

And when Lenny showed up that evening at the apartment we were still sharing in the West Village, I was ready.

那天晚上，当莱尼出现在我们仍在西村合住的公寓时，我已经准备好了。

He put his bags down and gave me a hug.

他放下包，拥抱了我。

The phone rang.

电话响了。

My mother had given Mrs. Klein the number at the apartment and suggested she find out for herself what her husband was up to.

我母亲把公寓的电话号码给了克莱因夫人，并建议她自己查明她丈夫在做什么。

Lenny picked up the phone on the kitchen well.

莱尼拿起厨房里的电话。

"Hello?"

“你好？”

I watched him.

我看着他。

And for the first and only time in the years I knew him, he looked genuinely surprised.

这是我认识他这些年来第一次也是唯一一次，他看起来真的很惊讶。

He didn't say a word.

他什么也没说。

He just listened for a few minutes, then hung up the phone.

他只是听了几分钟，然后就挂断了电话。

"That was my wife," he said.

“那是我的妻子，”他说。

I was silent.

我沉默了。

"How did she get this number?" I shrugged.

“她是怎么得到这个号码的？”我耸耸肩。

"I have to go." "I'd imagine," I said faintly.

“我得走了。” “我想，”我微弱地说。

When Lenny slammed out of the apartment, I was certain I would never see him again.

当莱尼冲出公寓时，我确信我再也见不到他了。

I knew the truth now.

我现在知道真相了。

It was staring me in the face in the concrete form of flight lists and photos.

它以航班列表和照片的具体形式盯着我的脸。

And he knew that I knew.

他知道我知道。

And besides, the whistle was blown.

此外，哨子也吹响了。

What could he possibly tell his wife?

他能告诉他的妻子什么？

This was it, I told myself.

就是这样，我告诉自己。

Absolutely, positively the end.

绝对的、肯定的结束。

It wasn't the end.

这还没有结束。

Lenny still called 10, 12 times a day.

莱尼仍然每天打十、十二次电话。

He left messages on my answering machine.

他在我的答录机上留言了。

"Hello?" His voice filled my bedroom.

“你好？”他的声音充满了我的卧室。

"Fox, are you there?" Sometimes he didn't say a word.

“狐狸，你在吗？”有时他一言不发。

He would stay on the line for as long as five minutes, just breathing.

他会在电话里呆上五分钟，只有呼吸。

Eventually he did get to me again.

最终他还是再次来找我。

And for the next year that we were together, three days here, four days there, my life became unrecognizable to me.

在我们在一起的第二年，这里三天，那里四天，我的生活变得面目全非。

I idly wondered what it would take to get me to leave him.

我漫不经心地想知道​​怎样才能让我离开他。

I wondered about this over bottles of chilled white wine, or heavy glasses half-filled with scotch.

我一边喝着瓶装冰镇白葡萄酒，或者喝着半杯苏格兰威士忌，一边思考着这个问题。

I was still wondering about it when I went to stay for a while at a health spa in California.

当我去加州的一个健康水疗中心呆了一段时间时，我仍然在想这个问题。

The phone rang in my room one day.

有一天，我房间里的电话响了。

There had been a car crash on a snowy highway.

积雪的高速公路上发生了一起车祸。

My mother had 80 broken bones.

我母亲有80处骨折。

My father was in a coma.

我父亲处于昏迷状态。

They were lying in a hospital 3,000 miles away.

他们躺在 3000 英里外的一家医院里。

And suddenly, in ways I could not have imagined seconds earlier, nothing else mattered.

突然之间，以我几秒钟前无法想象的方式，其他一切都不再重要了。

As I packed my bags, I remembered my mother twirling, dancing to Dvorak, through the doors of Lenny's brownstone.

当我收拾行李时，我记得母亲随着德沃夏克的曲子旋转着，穿过莱尼的褐砂石建筑的大门。

And the glassy look in my father's eyes.

还有我父亲目光呆滞的眼神。

I prayed that my father wouldn't die disappointed in me, and I knew then what I had to do.

我祈祷父亲不会对我失望而死，那时我就知道我必须做什么了。

Dani Shapiro.

丹尼·夏皮罗。

That story is in her memoir, Slow Motion .

这个故事出现在她的回忆录《慢动作》中。

She has another book, Devotion , coming out in February.

她还有另一本书《Devotion》，将于二月出版。

Act 4, "The Man Who Knew What I Was About to Say." So, in this second half of our program, we've had the moment before a possible affair, we've had what it's like during the affair, and now we turn to the aftermath of an affair.

第四幕，“知道我要说什么的人”。所以，在我们节目的后半部分，我们经历了可能发生外遇之前的那一刻，我们经历了外遇期间的情况，现在我们转向外遇的后果。

At least the very immediate aftermath.

至少是立即发生的后果。

This story is by writer Etgar Keret, and read for us by actor Matt Malloy.

这个故事由作家埃特加·凯雷特 (Etgar Keret) 创作，演员马特·马洛伊 (Matt Malloy) 为我们朗读。

The man who knew what I was about to say sat next to me on the plane, a stupid smile plastered across his face.

在飞机上，那个知道我要说什么的人坐在我旁边，脸上挂着愚蠢的微笑。

That's what's so nerve wracking about him.

这就是他如此伤脑筋的地方。

Smart, he wasn't.

聪明，他不聪明。

Or sensitive either.

或者敏感。

But still, he knew those lines and managed to say them.

但他仍然知道这些台词并设法说出它们。

All the lines I meant to say, three seconds before me.

我想说的所有台词都在我面前三秒。

"Do you sell Guerlain Mystique?" he asked the flight attendant, a minute before I could.

“你们卖娇兰魔幻香水吗？”他比我早一分钟询问空乘人员。

And she gave him an orthodontic smile and said, "There's just one last bottle left." "My wife goes crazy for that perfume," he said.

她给了他一个正畸的微笑，说道：“只剩下最后一瓶了。” “我的妻子非常喜欢这款香水，”他说。

"She's positively addicted.

“她确实上瘾了。

If I come back from a trip without a bottle of Mystique from the duty free, she says I don't love her anymore.

如果我旅行回来没有从免税店买一瓶 Mystique，她就会说我不再爱她了。

If I dare come into the house without at least one of these, I'm in deep [BLEEP]."

如果我敢在没有其中至少一件的情况下进屋，我就会陷入深深的[BLEEP]。”

That was supposed to be my line, but the man who knew what I was about to say stole it from me, without missing a beat.

这本来应该是我的台词，但是那个知道我要说什么的人毫不犹豫地从我嘴里偷走了它。

As soon as the wheels touched the ground, he switched on his mobile, a second before I did, and called his wife.

车轮一接触地面，他就比我早一秒打开手机，给他的妻子打电话。

"I just landed," he told her.

“我刚刚着陆，”他告诉她。

"I'm sorry.

“对不起。

I know it was supposed to be yesterday, flight was canceled.

我知道应该是昨天，航班取消了。

You don't believe me?

你不相信我吗？

Check it out yourself.

你自己检查一下。

Call Eric.

打电话给埃里克。

I know you don't.

我知道你不知道。

I can give his number right now."

我现在就可以给他电话号码。”

I also have a travel agent called Eric.

我还有一位旅行社代理人，名叫埃里克（Eric）。

He'd lie for me, too.

他也会为我撒谎。

When the plane reached the gate he was still talking on his mobile, giving all the answers I would have given, without a trace of emotion.

当飞机到达登机口时，他还在用手机通话，给出了我能给出的所有答案，没有一丝感情。

Like a parrot in a world where time flows backwards, repeating whatever is about to be said instead of what's been said already.

就像时光倒流的世界里的鹦鹉一样，重复即将说的话而不是已经说过的话。

His answers were the best ones, under the circumstances.

在这种情况下，他的回答是最好的。

His circumstances weren't too hot, not too hot at all.

他的处境并不太热，一点也不热。

Mine weren't either.

我的也不是。

Nobody was answering my call.

没有人接听我的电话。

But just listening to the man who knew what I was about to say made me stop trying.

但只是听那个知道我要说什么的人让我停止尝试。

Just listening to him, I could tell that this was a hole that even if I dug my way out of, it would be to a different reality.

光听他的话，我就知道这是一个坑，即使我挖出来，也将是另一个现实。

She'd never forgive me.

她永远不会原谅我。

She'd never trust me.

她永远不会相信我。

Ever.

曾经。

All my coming trips would be hell on earth, and the time in between would be even worse.

我接下来的所有旅行都将是人间地狱，中间的时间会更糟糕。

He went on talking and talking and talking.

他继续说啊说啊。

All those sentences that I'd thought up and hadn't said yet.

所有这些话都是我想出来但还没有说出来的。

It just kept flowing.

它一直在流动。

He stepped it up, changing the intonation, like a drowning man struggling desperately to stay afloat.

他加大了音量，改变了语调，就像一个溺水者拼命挣扎着想要浮在水面上。

People began getting off.

人们开始下车。

He got up, still talking, scooped up his laptop in the other hand and headed for the exit.

他站起来，仍在说话，另一只手拿起笔记本电脑，朝出口走去。

I could see him forgetting it behind, the bag he had put in the overhead compartment.

我看到他把放在头顶行李舱里的包忘在了后面。

I could see him forgetting it.

我看得出来他忘记了。

I didn't say anything.

我什么也没说。

I just stayed put.

我只是呆在原地。

Gradually everyone walked out, till the only ones still there were an overweight religious woman with a million children and me.

渐渐地，每个人都走了出去，直到只剩下一个肥胖的宗教妇女和我，她带着一百万个孩子。

I got up and opened the overhead compartment above me, as if nothing.

我起身，打开头顶的行李舱，仿佛什么都没有。

I took out the duty free bag like it had always been mine.

我拿出免税袋，就像它一直是我的一样。

Inside were the receipt and the bottle of Guerlain Mystique.

里面有收据和一瓶娇兰魔幻香水。

My wife goes crazy for that perfume.

我妻子非常喜欢这款香水。

She's positively addicted.

她确实上瘾了。

If I come back from a trip without a bottle of Mystique from the duty free, she says I don't love her anymore.

如果我旅行回来没有从免税店买一瓶 Mystique，她就会说我不再爱她了。

Matt Malloy, reading a story by Etgar Keret, who is the author of several books of very, very short stories, most recently The Girl on the Fridge.

马特·马洛伊（Matt Malloy）正在阅读埃特加·凯雷特（Etgar Keret）的故事，埃特加·凯雷特是几本非常非常短篇小说的作者，最近的一本是《冰箱上的女孩》。

Our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and our senior producer Julie Snyder with Alex Blumberg, Jane Marie, Sarah Koenig, Lisa Pollak, Robyn Semien, and Alissa Shipp.

今天我们的节目由南希·厄普代克和我们的高级制片人朱莉·斯奈德以及亚历克斯·布伦伯格、简·玛丽、莎拉·科尼格、丽莎·波拉克、罗宾·塞米恩和艾丽莎·希普共同制作。

Production help from Erin Scott.

艾琳·斯科特提供制作帮助。

Seth Lind is our production manager.

塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 是我们的生产经理。

Emily Condon is our office manager.

艾米丽·康登 (Emily Condon) 是我们的办公室经理。

Our music consultant is Jessica Hopper.

我们的音乐顾问是杰西卡·霍珀。

Special thanks today to The Moth and to Paul Tough.

今天特别感谢 The Moth 和 Paul Tough。

This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.

《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。

WBEZ for our program by our boss Torey Malatia.

我们的老板 Torey Malatia 为我们的项目制作了 WBEZ。

I'm a happily married man, so does it mean anything when he swims over to me at the company retreat and says things like, "The water makes me feel so free." I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life .

我是一个婚姻幸福的男人，所以当他在公司静修处游到我身边并对我说“水让我感到如此自由”之类的话时，这意味着什么吗？我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。

This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.

《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。