384: Fall Guy - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #384 | June 26, 2009 384: Fall Guy Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 384 集 | 2009 年 6 月 26 日 384：替罪羊 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass The prosecutor from a district attorney's office in Boston recently told one of the producers or our radio show that from what he's seen, criminals do not take the fall for each other.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 波士顿地区检察官办公室的检察官最近告诉我们广播节目的一位制作人，从他的观察来看，犯罪分子不会互相承担责任。
He said, nobody willingly goes to prison for a crime to help a buddy.
他说，没有人愿意因为犯罪而入狱去帮助朋友。
There's too much at stake, he said.
他说，这事关重大。
The circumstances would have to be extraordinary.
情况必定非同寻常。
So I ran this by this guy named Rich Farrell who's spent a lot of time around the Boston mob while co-writing a book with this mobster named Patrick Nee.
所以我是由一个名叫里奇·法雷尔（Rich Farrell）的人负责的，他花了很多时间与波士顿黑帮打交道，同时与一个名叫帕特里克·尼（Patrick Nee）的黑帮合作写了一本书。
And who also wrote a book about his own years committing petty crimes and doing heroin.
他还写了一本关于自己多年来犯下的轻微犯罪和吸食海洛因的书。
And Rich Farrell did not agree.
里奇·法雷尔并不同意。
He said guys take the fall for each other all the time.
他说人们总是互相承担责任。
He told me about two mobsters, and one of them is a buddy of his.
他告诉我有两个黑帮，其中一个是他的朋友。
He's convinced both did time for murders they didn't commit.
他确信两人都因他们没有犯下的谋杀罪而入狱。
It's believable to him because he's taken the fall.
这对他来说是可信的，因为他已经承担了责任。
This was back when he was on the streets in the 1980s in Lowell, Massachusetts.
那是 20 世纪 80 年代他在马萨诸塞州洛厄尔街头的情景。
He says, one time there was this kid.
他说，曾经有这样一个孩子。
There was a kid that was a real scumbag.
有一个孩子，真是个渣男。
Listen to me, we were scumbags too.
听我说，我们也曾是渣男。
But there's different level of scumbags on the streets.
但街上也有不同程度的渣男。
We were drug addicts.
我们是吸毒者。
We weren't going to rob from old ladies, from kids, from people that weren't engaged in the type of stuff we were.
我们不会从老太太、孩子、那些不从事我们从事的事情的人那里抢劫。
And this kid was known for this coming out of the projects down there.
这个孩子因从那里的项目中脱颖而出而闻名。
They would run over and they would grab the old lady's pocketbook right out of their arms.
他们会跑过去，从怀里抢走老太太的钱包。
And just rip it off them and run.
然后把它从他们身上扯下来然后跑。
So this kid does this to Rich's aunt.
所以这个孩子对里奇的阿姨做了这样的事。
And later, the kid is found beat up, badly beat up.
后来，孩子被发现被殴打，殴打得很厉害。
And the police accuse Rich of doing it.
警方指控里奇干了这件事。
So the cops must have thought I had cause to do this, but it was actually one of my best friends that I grew up with.
所以警察一定认为我有理由这样做，但实际上是和我一起长大的最好的朋友之一。
He's dead now, Tommy Sparks.
他现在死了，汤米·斯帕克斯。
I was taken in for it and it came down to my father's friend who was my attorney.
我因此被骗了，这一切都归咎于我父亲的朋友，他是我的律师。
He said, to me, Richie, they made a deal.
他对我说，里奇，他们达成了协议。
Basically, I had to agree to it.
基本上，我不得不同意。
I said, but Gene, I didn't do it.
我说过，但是吉恩，我没有这么做。
I frigging wasn't even there.
我他妈根本就不在那儿。
The things weren't even there.
那些东西根本不存在。
And he said, hey, Richie-- I'll never forget this-- he said, Richie, did you ever do anything and get away with it?
他说，嘿，里奇——我永远不会忘记这一点——他说，里奇，你有没有做过任何事并且侥幸逃脱？
And I smiled and I said, of course.
我微笑着说，当然。
So it was one of those things.
所以这是其中之一。
The one thing he never would have done he says, is tell them that his friend Tommy did it.
他说，他永远不会做的一件事就是告诉他们是他的朋友汤米干的。
That would have been unthinkable.
那是不可想象的。
We had that code, that Irish code, that just said, you're not a rat.
我们有那个密码，那个爱尔兰密码，上面写着，你不是老鼠。
You don't tell on people.
你不会告发别人。
You just take it.
你就拿着吧。
It's principle.
这是原则。
And I learned it early on.
而且我很早就学会了。
When I was in the seventh grade, 13.
那是我七年级的时候，13岁。
I look back, I was 13 years old.
蓦然回首，我已经13岁了。
We're at a YMCA dance in downtown Lowell.
我们正在洛厄尔市中心参加基督教青年会的舞会。
And around 11 o'clock we're cutting back across the city to the Acre, the Irish section, St. Patrick's School was there where we attended school, all the Irish kids.
11点左右，我们穿过城市前往阿卡，爱尔兰区，圣帕特里克学校就在那里，我们所有的爱尔兰孩子都在那里上学。
And door's open and Billy Burns had to go to the bathroom.
门开着，比利·伯恩斯不得不去洗手间。
So he went up to the second floor and we went up and Billy had taken one of the urinal pucks and he had put it into the toilet and flushed it.
于是他上了二楼，我们上了楼，比利拿了一个小便池，他把它放进马桶里冲了水。
Rich Farrell Yeah, those little cakes.
里奇·法雷尔 是的，那些小蛋糕。
And there was water coming out.
而且还有水流出来。
And we said, let's get out of here.
我们说，我们离开这里吧。
Well, we went home thinking, OK, we're going to make it.
好吧，我们回家想，好吧，我们会成功的。
No problem.
没问题。
Didn't think anything.
没想什么。
The cops came to my door.
警察来到我家门口。
Wow.
哇。
That's a real response for urinal cakes down a pipe.
这是对小便池里的蛋糕掉入管道的真实反应。
Yeah, they came to my door and they said that I was the one who threw the puck down.
是的，他们来到我家门口，说是我把冰球扔了下来。
And so I looked up my father standing there and I knew I was in a lot of trouble.
于是我抬头看了看站在那里的父亲，我知道我遇到了很多麻烦。
My father had a belt that his father had given him from Ireland, and he used to give us what he called, zebra stripes, because it left these red marks.
我父亲有一条腰带，是他父亲从爱尔兰送给他的，他常常送给我们他所谓的斑马条纹，因为它留下了这些红色的痕迹。
So he called them zebra stripes.
所以他称它们为斑马条纹。
I knew I was in trouble.
我知道我有麻烦了。
But I also knew by my father's eye something I was taught early on, there's like this Irish code, unwritten, that you just do not tell on anybody.
但我也从我父亲的眼睛里知道了一些我很早就学到的东西，就像爱尔兰的守则，不成文，你不能告诉任何人。
If you get caught at something, if you're involved in something, you just suck it up.
如果你被某事抓住，如果你卷入某事，你就会忍气吞声。
That's part of being a man.
这是作为一个男人的一部分。
So I looked at him and of course I said, well, I didn't do it.
所以我看着他，当然我说，好吧，我没有这么做。
But I wasn't going to say who did it and I didn't say Billy Burns was lying.
但我不会说是谁干的，也不会说比利·伯恩斯在撒谎。
I got a beating that night anyway.
无论如何，那天晚上我被殴打了。
And then the next day in school, the nuns took us all in and was questioning us.
第二天，在学校里，修女们把我们全部带进来并询问我们。
And I could-- it would have been easy for me to say, I didn't do it.
我可以——对我来说很容易说，我没有这样做。
It was Billy.
是比利。
But instead, I sucked it up because I knew if I thought that those zebra stripes were bad, the beaten I would have received from my dad would have been triple-- giving people up.
但相反，我忍了下来，因为我知道，如果我认为那些斑马条纹不好，我会从我父亲那里受到三倍的殴打——放弃人们。
So I was expelled from school, and that was my first lesson in being the fall guy, taking the rap for something I didn't do.
所以我被学校开除了，这是我作为替罪羊的第一堂课，为我没有做的事情承担责任。
Well, today on our program, the Fall Guy, stories of people who take the fall out of principle, and people who take the fall because they just can't figure out any way to get out of it.
好吧，今天在我们的节目《替罪羊》中，讲述了那些不守原则的人的故事，以及那些因为找不到任何方法摆脱困境而承受跌倒的人的故事。
In other words, willing and unwilling fall guys.
换句话说，愿意和不愿意的堕落者。
Our program today in four acts.
我们今天的节目分为四幕。
Act one, Beat It.
第一幕，击败它。
Act two, Be Careful Who You Love.
第二幕，小心你爱的人。
Act three, Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough.
第三幕，不要停止，直到你受够了。
Act four, Man in the Mirror.
第四幕，镜中人。
In this four acts, it's Mike Birbiglia, Philip Gourevitch, the Planet Money guys and Shalom Auslander.
在这四幕中，迈克·比尔比利亚 (Mike Birbiglia)、菲利普·古勒维奇 (Philip Gourevitch)、星球金钱乐队 (Planet Money) 的成员和沙洛姆·奥斯兰德 (Shalom Auslander) 参与其中。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
"Act one, Beat It." Sometimes things start happening to you, and then they keep happening to you, and it's only once days and weeks have passed that you realize exactly what it is that's going on.
“第一幕，击败它。”有时事情开始发生在你身上，然后它们不断发生在你身上，只有几天或几周过去后，你才能确切地意识到发生了什么。
That's what happened to Mike Birbiglia.
这就是迈克·比尔比利亚的遭遇。
He recorded this story in front of an audience in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
他在马萨诸塞州剑桥市的观众面前录制了这个故事。
When I was a freshman in high school I went to an all boys' Catholic school called St. John's in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts.
当我还是一名高中新生时，我就读于马萨诸塞州什鲁斯伯里的一所名为圣约翰的天主教男校。
And the first few weeks of school are pretty overwhelming because there are kids from all different towns: Shrewsbury, Worcester, Sutton, Oxford, Milford, Leominster, Milford.
开学的前几周是相当令人难以承受的，因为这里有来自各个不同城镇的孩子：什鲁斯伯里、伍斯特、萨顿、牛津、米尔福德、莱明斯特、米尔福德。
One of the things about all boys' schools is that homophobia is almost a religion as opposed to usually where it's just an integral part of a religion.
所有男子学校的一个特点是，恐同症几乎是一种宗教，而不是通常情况下它只是宗教的一个组成部分。
We were constantly calling each other gay.
我们经常互相称对方为同性恋。
A common conversation would be like, you're gay.
常见的对话是这样的，你是同性恋。
No, you are.
不，你是。
No, you are.
不，你是。
And that would go on for like an hour.
这会持续大约一个小时。
And every day when we walked down the hill to soccer practice there was a back and forth between the soccer and football teams that the other team was in fact, gay.
每天，当我们下山去参加足球训练时，足球队和足球队之间都会来来回回，而另一支球队实际上是同性恋。
And what developed was this kind of all out you're gay war.
结果就是这种全力以赴的同性恋战争。
I found out later that one of my you're gay grenades hit a guy named Joey [?
后来我发现我的一枚你是同性恋手榴弹击中了一个名叫乔伊的人[？
Grigione ?].
格里乔内？]。
Now I didn't know Joey [?
现在我不认识乔伊[?
Grigione ?], but he was from Worcester.
格里乔内？]，但他来自伍斯特。
He was tough.
他很坚强。
He liked to fight.
他喜欢战斗。
This is going to sound like I'm making this up, but he was like a cross between a white Allen Iverson and a velociraptor.
这听起来像是我编造的，但他就像白人阿伦·艾弗森和迅猛龙的混合体。
So one day I'm walking down the hill to soccer practice and I'm hit by what feels like a rock on the back of my head.
有一天，我下山去参加足球训练时，我的后脑勺被一块石头击中。
I later found out that it was a fist.
后来我才知道那是拳头。
Forgot to mention this detail: Joey had rock-like fists.
忘了提这个细节：乔伊有岩石般的拳头。
The impact of this immediately knocks me to the ground and I'm on the ground.
这股冲击力立刻将我撞倒在地，我趴在了地上。
I'm being hit by these rock fists.
我正被这些岩石拳头击中。
And finally, I'm like, I need to run away.
最后，我想，我需要逃跑。
I don't even consider fighting back.
我什至不考虑反击。
I'm just like, I need to leave here.
我只是想，我需要离开这里。
This is going terribly.
事情进展得很糟糕。
This is the worst walk ever.
这是有史以来最糟糕的一次步行。
So he hits me about four or five times.
所以他打了我大约四五次。
Mind you, he's in full football gear and I am in nylon shorts and shin guards.
请注意，他穿着全套足球装备，而我穿着尼龙短裤和护腿板。
So if he had wanted to beat the crap out of my shins, no dice.
所以如果他想把我的小腿打得屁滚尿流，就不用骰子了。
But really, anywhere else on my body is fair game.
但实际上，我身体的其他任何地方都是公平的游戏。
Particularly my head, which he seemed focused on.
尤其是我的头，他似乎全神贯注地盯着我的头。
I run down the hill and he shouts, now who's gay?
我跑下山，他大喊，现在谁是同性恋？
And he was right.
他是对的。
In that context between me and him, I was definitely the one who was gay.
在我和他之间的背景下，我绝对是同性恋者。
But it's at this point that I realize that Joey [?
但正是在这一点上，我意识到乔伊[？
Grigione ?] actually cared that someone had called him gay.
格里乔内？]实际上很关心有人称他为同性恋。
That's what confused me.
这就是让我困惑的地方。
It never occurred to me that it had any meaning to call anything, anyone gay.
我从来没有想过称任何事物、任何人为同性恋有任何意义。
I mean, we called everything gay.
我的意思是，我们称一切为同性恋。
The football team, some of our teachers, the water fountain, geometry, tuna fish sandwiches.
足球队、我们的一些老师、喷泉、几何、金枪鱼三明治。
I mean, anything.
我的意思是，任何事情。
Anyway I go to practice and I tried to go on business as usual.
不管怎样，我去训练了，我试着像往常一样继续做生意。
And that day in the middle of sprints, I start crying.
那天，在冲刺期间，我开始哭泣。
You know, I can't control it.
你知道，我无法控制它。
And the coach asked me, what happened and I tell him.
教练问我发生了什么事，我告诉他。
And so at this point there's an investigation.
现在正在进行一项调查。
And I assume Joey [?
我假设乔伊[？
Grigione ?] will be punished in some way.
Grigione？]将受到某种形式的惩罚。
I don't know, but maybe suspended.
我不知道，但可能会被暂停。
Maybe even expelled from school.
甚至可能被学校开除。
But he isn't.
但他不是。
He's suspended for one football game.
他被禁赛一场足球比赛。
There are things that kids do to each other in high school that if you did them as adults, you would go to jail for sure.
有些孩子们在高中时会互相做一些事情，如果你作为成年人这样做，你肯定会进监狱。
If I walked up here and I said to this guy, like, you're gay, and he takes my head and smashes it on the stage, he would go to jail.
如果我走到这里对这个人说，比如，你是同性恋，然后他拿走我的头并在舞台上砸碎，他就会进监狱。
Not at St. John's.
不在圣约翰。
One football game.
一场足球比赛。
Which I thought was nothing, but apparently Joey was furious about this.
我认为这没什么，但显然乔伊对此感到愤怒。
So he sends some other bullies after me because they're watching him at this point.
所以他派了一些其他恶霸来追我，因为他们此时正在监视他。
And one day I'm walking back from soccer practice and this guy named Tom [?
有一天，我从足球训练回来时，遇到了这个名叫汤姆的人[？
Bocatti ?] walks up to me and he gets in my face.
博卡蒂？]走到我面前，他挡住了我的脸。
But there's nothing really to argue about.
但其实没有什么可争论的。
Because the original fight was based on nothing.
因为最初的战斗是没有任何基础的。
It was like, you're never going to call Joey [?
就像，你永远不会打电话给乔伊[？
Grigione ?] gay again or I'll kill you.
Grigione？] 又是同性恋，否则我就杀了你。
And I was like, absolutely.
我当时想，绝对是。
You have my word, fine sir.
我向你保证，好的，先生。
One day I'm at my locker and this guy Bill Murphy goes, hey, Mike.
有一天，我在我的储物柜前，比尔·墨菲这个家伙走了过来，嘿，迈克。
And I look over and he punches me in the face.
我回头一看，他打了我的脸。
Not really hard, but hard enough that it made the punch in the face noise, which is pride swallowing.
不是很重，但足够重，以至于发出了打在脸上的声音，这是一种令人窒息的骄傲。
And he goes, that's for Joey [?
他走了，那是给乔伊的[？
Grigione ?].
格里乔内？]。
And I'm like, what!
我想，什么！
Wait a minute, this guy is smaller than me.
等等，这家伙比我还小。
And what's sad is I don't even fight back.
可悲的是我什至没有反击。
I'm like, I guess this is what my life is like now.
我想，我想这就是我现在的生活。
And the next day I'm in the computer lab and I'm writing an article for the school paper about the aviation club and this guy walks in and he goes, Dave Kilroy's looking for you and he's going to kill you.
第二天，我在计算机实验室，正在为校报写一篇关于航空俱乐部的文章，这个家伙走进来，说，戴夫·基尔罗伊正在找你，他要杀了你。
And I'm like, I don't even know who Dave Kilroy is.
我想，我什至不知道戴夫·基尔罗伊是谁。
That's how bad my situation was.
我的处境就是这么糟糕。
I'm the kind of person who, for fun, writes articles called, "Aviation Club Soars Into Orbit." And a bully I have never heard of is sending out envoys.
我是那种为了好玩而写文章的人，叫做“航空俱乐部飞入轨道”。还有一个我从未听说过的恶霸正在派遣使者。
One more thing that made this entirely strange, and this might just be funny for me, but there was a dress code at the school.
还有一件事让这件事变得完全奇怪，这对我来说可能很有趣，但学校有着装要求。
And so in the middle of all this violence everyone is wearing a coat and tie.
因此，在所有这些暴力事件中，每个人都穿着外套，打着领带。
So these bullies, they look like these low rent child mobsters sent in to discipline people on bad loans.
所以这些恶霸，他们看起来就像这些低租金的儿童暴徒，被派来惩罚不良贷款的人。
Well, I make it through the winter and I decide that I'm going to stick it out.
好吧，我熬过了冬天，我决定要坚持下去。
Like all great underdogs, I'd been knocked down, but I was going to make a place for myself.
像所有伟大的失败者一样，我被击倒了，但我要为自己创造一个位置。
So I run for class president.
所以我竞选班长。
And I lose by a lot.
而我却输了很多。
And then, I try out for the tennis team.
然后，我参加网球队的选拔。
And I don't make it-- by a lot.
但我没能成功——差很多。
St. John's just didn't want to participate in my life.
圣约翰只是不想参与我的生活。
And at the end of the year I came up with a different idea, which was to quit.
年底我想出了一个不同的想法，那就是辞职。
And I ran this by all the adults in my life: my teachers, my parents, my guidance counselor.
我由我生命中所有的成年人来管理这个：我的老师，我的父母，我的辅导员。
And what's surprising is that no one tried to talk me out of it.
令人惊讶的是，没有人试图劝说我放弃这一想法。
They didn't say those things that you hear in the after school specials.
他们没有说那些你在课后特别节目中听到的事情。
Like, hey, buddy, don't give up.
就像，嘿，伙计，不要放弃。
And stick it out champ.
并坚持下去，成为冠军。
Or, don't let them get the best of you, ace.
或者，别让他们打败你，艾斯。
The best of me was off the table, and everyone knew it.
我最好的一面已经被淘汰了，每个人都知道这一点。
Somehow I'd become the fall guy for the entire ninth grade class.
不知怎的，我成了整个九年级班级的替罪羊。
I symbolized a certain kind of kid, the kind of kid who everyone hates.
我象征着某种孩子，一种人人都讨厌的孩子。
So I left.
所以我离开了。
And at my new school, those first few weeks where everyone's getting to know each other, where you're from, what do you like to do, I decided to omit the fact that at my previous school for a year I had been picked on so badly that I left the school.
在我的新学校，最初几周，每个人都在互相了解，你来自哪里，你喜欢做什么，我决定忽略这样一个事实：在我以前的学校有一年，我受到了严重的欺负，以至于我离开了学校。
And here's the truth about life that they never tell you in those after school specials.
这是他们在课后特辑中从未告诉你的生活真相。
Running away works.
逃跑有效。
Because you know what?
因为你知道什么？
The kids at my new school, they never found out.
我新学校的孩子们从来没有发现过这一点。
Mike Birbiglia, who starts a national tour in August, going through the Fall from Cape Cod to Los Angeles.
迈克·比尔比利亚（Mike Birbiglia）将于八月开始全国巡演，整个秋季从科德角到洛杉矶。
Search the Internet for his name for details.
在互联网上搜索他的名字以获取详细信息。
[MUSIC- "RUNNIN' AWAY" BY SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE]
[音乐- SLY 和家人的“RUNNIN' AWAY”]
"Act two, Be Careful Who You Love."
“第二幕，小心你爱的人。”
We now turn to a political fall guy, somebody who got blamed all over the world for certain US policies.
我们现在转向一个政治替罪羊，他因美国的某些政策而受到全世界的指责。
Somebody that you definitely heard of, but who hasn't made much of a case for herself.
你肯定听说过这个人，但她并没有为自己做太多的论证。
Journalist Philip Gourevitch tells her story.
记者菲利普·古雷维奇讲述了她的故事。
There's no law of nature, or even of storytelling that says a fall guy has to be admirable.
没有自然法则，甚至讲故事的法则都没有规定替罪羊必须令人钦佩。
Just because the wrong person is blamed for something doesn't mean that person's otherwise blameless.
仅仅因为错误的人因某事而受到指责并不意味着该人在其他方面是无可指责的。
I mean, as a rule, a fall guy is not going to be someone who's made all the right choices.
我的意思是，一般来说，替罪羊不会是做出所有正确选择的人。
Private First Class Lynndie England was 20 years old when she was sent to Iraq in 2003 in the first summer of the war.
2003 年战争爆发的第一个夏天，一等兵林迪·英格兰被派往伊拉克时年仅 20 岁。
She was a West Virginia girl, a reservist with the 372nd Military Police Company.
她是一名西弗吉尼亚州女孩，是第 372 宪兵连的预备役军人。
At first, the unit was sent to the city of Al Hilla where they had a pretty good time.
起初，这支部队被派往阿尔希拉市，在那里他们度过了一段愉快的时光。
Al Hilla was calm.
阿尔希拉很平静。
They could walk the streets, meet Iraqis, do some tourism.
他们可以走在街上，结识伊拉克人，去旅游。
The word was that they'd be going home after a couple months.
据说几个月后他们就要回家了。
But then they get sent instead to Abu Ghraib Prison outside Baghdad.
但随后他们被送往巴格达郊外的阿布格莱布监狱。
Nobody in the 372nd had any training as military prison guards, but that's the work that most of Lynndie England's best buddies were given.
第 372 营中没有人接受过军事监狱看守的训练，但林迪·英格兰的大多数最好的伙伴都接受过这样的工作。
England herself was luckier, she was in administration.
英国本身就比较幸运，她在执政。
Officially she wasn't even allowed on the cell blocks.
按照官方规定，她甚至不被允许进入牢房。
Her job was in-processing.
她的工作正在处理中。
American combat troops were rounding up Iraqis by the hundreds every day and dumping them in Abu Ghraib.
美国作战部队每天围捕数百名伊拉克人，并将他们扔到阿布格莱布监狱。
England took their fingerprints.
英格兰采集了他们的指纹。
She did their retina scans and looked after their paperwork.
她为他们做了视网膜扫描并照顾他们的文书工作。
In-processing had been her job in the unit back in the states too.
处理中也是她在美国单位的工作。
The year before when the company was on a drill weekend, getting ready to be activated and sent to Iraq, a new guy joined up, Corporal Charles Graner.
前一年，当连队进行周末演习，准备被派往伊拉克时，一名新人加入了，查尔斯·格拉纳下士。
An ex marine, he'd served in the first Gulf War.
他曾是一名海军陆战队员，曾参加过第一次海湾战争。
England took his papers and in-processed him.
英格兰拿走了他的证件并对他进行了处理。
Beyond that, she says, she hardly noticed Graner at first.
除此之外，她说，一开始她几乎没有注意到格拉纳。
But then she realized he noticed her.
但后来她意识到他注意到了她。
He would follow me around he said.
他说他会跟着我。
Like I smoked and he didn't.
就像我抽烟而他不抽烟一样。
He started smoking, so he could get out there in the little smokers group.
他开始吸烟，这样他就可以加入吸烟者小团体中。
So he could talk to me.
这样他就可以和我说话了。
England wasn't used that kind of attention.
英格兰并没有受到这样的关注。
And looking back, she said, he played me.
她说，回想起来，他玩弄了我。
He courted her with Bluegrass music, her favorite.
他用她最喜欢的蓝草音乐向她求爱。
He bought her clothes and drinks and meals.
他给她买衣服、饮料和饭菜。
He taught her how to drive a stick shift.
他教她如何驾驶变速杆。
She'd never seen the ocean before, so Graner took her to Virginia Beach.
她以前从未见过大海，所以格拉纳带她去了弗吉尼亚海滩。
The thing was, Lynndie England was married.
事情是，林迪·英格兰结婚了。
That held her back for a while, but she felt stress and disconnection at home.
这让她犹豫了一段时间，但她在家里感到了压力和孤立。
And everything in her marriage was made worse by the fact that she was about to be deployed to Iraq.
由于她即将被派往伊拉克，她婚姻中的一切都变得更糟。
She talked to Graner about it and he listened.
她和格拉纳谈论了这件事，他听了。
She'd say, I don't need this.
她会说，我不需要这个。
And he'd say, well, no, you don't.
他会说，好吧，不，你不知道。
She'd say of her husband, we're just friends.
她会说她丈夫，我们只是朋友。
And Graner would say it back to her.
格拉纳也会对她说同样的话。
When she said, we're not really compatible as husband and wife, Graner would return it as, you're not really compatible as husband and wife.
当她说，我们作为丈夫和妻子并不真正兼容时，格拉纳会回复说，你们作为夫妻并不真正兼容。
And England found this steady echo persuasive.
英格兰发现这种稳定的回声很有说服力。
Graner, she said, he's really charming.
格兰纳，她说，他真的很有魅力。
And I was what?
而我是什么？
20 years old when I met him.
我认识他的时候20岁。
He was 34.
那年他34岁。
When they got together, she didn't mind that he took pictures of her all the time.
他们在一起的时候，她并不介意他一直给她拍照。
Even, when he insisted, naked pictures.
甚至，当他坚持时，还拍裸体照片。
England filed for separation from her husband and told him she wanted a divorce.
英格兰提出与丈夫分居，并告诉他她想离婚。
It was a heady spring for England with the invasion on TV, waiting to go to war, and love.
对于英格兰来说，这是一个令人陶醉的春天，电视上出现了入侵、等待开战和爱情。
England and Graner had been a couple for six months when they arrived at Abu Ghraib.
当英格兰和格拉纳抵达阿布格莱布监狱时，他们已经成为情侣六个月了。
Graner documented their whole romance on his digital camera.
格拉纳用他的数码相机记录了他们的整个浪漫史。
After the first Gulf War, he told her, nobody had believed his war stories.
他告诉她，第一次海湾战争之后，没有人相信他的战争故事。
And this time he was going to have proof.
而这一次，他要拿出证据来。
He was never without his camera and that's what he told everyone.
他从来没有离开过他的相机，这就是他告诉所有人的。
He was collecting proof.
他正在收集证据。
At Abu Ghraib, Graner was the guard in charge of the night shift on the cell blocks reserved for so-called high value prisoners who were being interrogated by military intelligence and the CIA.
在阿布格莱布监狱，格拉纳是负责值夜班的警卫，牢房专为军事情报部门和中央情报局审讯的所谓高价值囚犯而设。
While he was there, he wound up taking many photographs of American soldiers abusing their Iraqi wards.
当他在那里时，他拍摄了许多美国士兵虐待伊拉克病房的照片。
Graner posed in a lot of those photographs himself, and he posed England in a lot of them.
格拉纳本人在很多照片中摆出了姿势，其中很多照片中他都摆出了英格兰的姿势。
There were hundreds of photographs from Abu Ghraib.
有数百张来自阿布格莱布监狱的照片。
But the pictures that became instantly iconic were the ones that showed naked prisoners in the same frame with American servicewomen.
但那些立即成为标志性的照片是那些裸体囚犯与美国女军人同框的照片。
Most famously, or infamously, they were the shots of Lynndie England holding what looked like a leash at the end of which crawled a naked Iraqi man.
最著名或最臭名昭著的是林迪·英格兰（Lynndie England）的照片，他手里拿着一条看起来像皮带的东西，皮带末端爬着一个裸体的伊拉克男子。
And the shots from another night, of England pointing and grinning at a naked and hooded prisoner who'd been made to masturbate in front of her.
还有另一个晚上的镜头，英格兰指着一名赤身裸体、戴着头巾的囚犯微笑着，这名囚犯被迫在她面前自慰。
These scenes had obviously been staged for the camera.
这些场景显然是为了镜头而上演的。
England, staring flatly in the lens, or giving a thumbs up, is clearly posing for the photographer.
英格兰要么直视镜头，要么竖起大拇指，显然是在给摄影师摆姿势。
The Abu Ghraib photographs eventually exposed the Bush administration's torture policy to the world.
阿布格莱布监狱的照片最终向世界揭露了布什政府的酷刑政策。
But the repellent, kinky weirdness of the images, of Lynndie England and her naked captives, created an immediate and powerful distraction.
但林迪·英格兰和她赤身裸体的俘虏的令人厌恶的、怪异的图像立即产生了强烈的干扰。
Lynndie England was portrayed in the press as a sadist, a masochist, an Appalachian hillbilly slut, mentally retarded, you name it.
林迪·英格兰在媒体上被描绘成一个虐待狂、一个受虐狂、一个阿巴拉契亚乡下荡妇、一个弱智，凡是你能想到的。
Everybody had an opinion about her.
每个人都对她有看法。
But there was one thing missing from the discussion: her voice.
但讨论中缺少一件事：她的声音。
The army placed all the soldiers who took and appeared in the Abu Ghraib photographs in custody, then sent to courts marshal.
军队拘留了所有拍摄并出现在阿布格莱布监狱照片中的士兵，然后送往元帅法院。
These were the only people ever to be convicted and imprisoned for the president's torture program, and none of them was of high rank than staff sergeant.
这些人是唯一因总统的酷刑计划而被定罪和监禁的人，而且他们的军衔都没有比上士高。
They never had the opportunity to speak for themselves in public until they began to be released a year, or two, or three later.
他们从来没有机会在公开场合为自己说话，直到一年、两年或三年后开始被释放。
That's when the filmmaker, Errol Morris, started interviewing them for a documentary movie.
就在那时，电影制片人埃罗尔·莫里斯开始采访他们拍摄一部纪录片。
And I joined him to write a book from the same material.
我和他一起用同样的材料写了一本书。
Lynndie England spoke for nearly nine hours over two days.
林迪·英格兰在两天内演讲了近九个小时。
She didn't feel guilty.
她并不感到内疚。
In fact, she didn't think she'd done anything wrong.
事实上，她并不认为自己做错了什么。
She kept saying, everything we did was just what we were told to do.
她一直说，我们所做的一切都是我们被告知要做的。
It was true.
这是真的。
The MPs weren't only instructed and encouraged to harm the prisoners in the ways they recorded in pictures, they were commended for it.
国会议员不仅被指示和鼓励以照片中记录的方式伤害囚犯，而且还因此受到赞扬。
There were senior commanders coming through the cell blocks pretty much every night to watch the MPs do their dirty work.
几乎每天晚上都有高级指挥官穿过牢房区，观看议员们做肮脏的工作。
As Graner took photos of what was going on, he showed them to his superior officers at the prison.
当格拉纳拍下当时发生的事情时，他将它们展示给监狱的上级官员。
Their response was, good job.
他们的回答是，干得好。
He even got that in writing from his captain after he knocked one prisoner's head into the wall.
在他将一名囚犯的头撞到墙上后，他甚至从队长那里得到了书面的答复。
So hard that eight stitches were required to staunch the bleeding.
太严重了，需要缝八针才能止血。
Again and again, the MPs were told, these prisoners are the worst of the worst.
议员们一次又一次被告知，这些囚犯是最糟糕的囚犯中的最糟糕的。
And as England kept saying, the stuff you see in the photographs is not the real torture that was happening at the prison.
正如英格兰一直说的那样，你在照片中看到的东西并不是监狱里发生的真正的酷刑。
What you see is just humiliation, she said, and harassment.
她说，你看到的只是羞辱和骚扰。
That same Fall at Abu Ghraib, soldiers were shooting prisoners who protested the rotten food and overcrowding at Abu Ghraib.
同年秋天，在阿布格莱布监狱，士兵们射杀了抗议阿布格莱布监狱腐败食品和过度拥挤的囚犯。
Shooting them with live rounds.
用实弹射击他们。
In some cases, shooting them dead.
在某些情况下，枪杀他们。
A prisoner was killed during a CIA interrogation in the shower and Graner and his team were enlisted to help cover it up.
一名囚犯在中央情报局浴室审讯期间被杀，格拉纳和他的团队被招募来帮助掩盖这一事件。
There was a night when England heard a prisoner screaming in that shower, a scream so horribly piercing that she was sure he was being killed.
有一天晚上，英格兰听到一名囚犯在淋浴中尖叫，尖叫声如此可怕刺耳，以至于她确信他被杀了。
So she couldn't get too worked up about the photographs, and she expressed no remorse for her conduct at Abu Ghraib.
所以她不能对这些照片过于激动，而且她对自己在阿布格莱布监狱的行为也没有表示悔意。
She was just a bystander there, the night watchman's girlfriend, just lending him a hand with his chores.
她只是那里的一个旁观者，是守夜人的女朋友，只是帮他做家务。
That's how she saw it.
她就是这么看的。
And it made it tough to feel sympathy for her.
这让我们很难对她产生同情。
England fit nobody's political narrative.
英国不适合任何人的政治叙事。
Not the left's, not the right's.
不是左派，也不是右派。
It wasn't even clear that she disapproved of the policy for which she had taken the fall.
甚至不清楚她是否不赞成她承担责任的政策。
Take, for instance, the picture which showed her with a naked prisoner on a leash.
就拿那张照片来说，她和一名拴着皮带的裸体囚犯在一起。
It wasn't actually a dog leash, it was a cargo tie down strap that Graner used to coax a belligerent prisoner out of an isolation cell.
它实际上并不是一条狗皮带，而是一条货物束缚带，格拉纳用它来将一名好战的囚犯从隔离牢房中哄出来。
And Graner had handed it to her for all of 30 seconds so he could photograph her with it.
格拉纳把它递给了她整整 30 秒，这样他就可以用它给她拍照。
Here's what England said when she looked at the photograph.
以下是英格兰在看到照片时所说的话。
I don't see the infamous picture from the Iraqi War.
我没有看到伊拉克战争中那张臭名昭著的照片。
I just see me.
我只看到我。
It's just the picture.
这只是图片。
The first thing that comes up in my mind is just, that's me.
我脑海中第一个浮现的就是，那就是我。
And yeah, that happened at the prison when I was in Iraq and that was one of the pictures taken.
是的，那是我在伊拉克时在监狱里发生的事情，这是拍摄的其中一张照片。
As far as she was concerned, it wasn't a snapshot of her relationship to the prisoner, it was a snapshot of her relationship with Graner.
对她而言，这不是她与囚犯关系的快照，而是她与格拉纳关系的快照。
It's showing that he has power over me.
这表明他对我有权力。
And he wanted to demonstrate that power.
他想展示这种力量。
At Abu Ghraib, Charles Graner had become Lynndie England's chain of command.
在阿布格莱布监狱，查尔斯·格拉纳成为林迪·英格兰的指挥系统。
Whatever he asked me to do, she said, I'd do it.
无论他让我做什么，她都说我会做。
For her, this story isn't about torture, it's a love story.
对她来说，这个故事不是关于酷刑，而是关于爱情的故事。
In the end, Graner moved on from England while they were still at Abu Ghraib.
最终，当他们还在阿布格莱布监狱时，格拉纳就离开了英格兰。
This was a month or two before she found out she was pregnant with his baby.
一两个月后，她才发现自己怀上了他的孩子。
He cut her loose and took up instead with another soldier from the unit, Megan Ambuhl.
他解除了她的束缚，转而与该部队的另一名士兵梅根·安布尔 (Megan Ambuhl) 交往。
They're married now, Chuck and Megan Graner.
查克和梅根·格兰纳现在结婚了。
Although he's still in custody serving a 10 year sentence.
尽管他仍被监禁，正在服刑 10 年。
When England looks at how it all turned out between them, she understands that she was duped by a government that made torture its policy and then punished those who let themselves be seen doing it.
当英格兰看到他们之间的一切结果时，她明白自己被一个制定酷刑政策的政府欺骗了，然后惩罚了那些让自己被人看到这样做的人。
Just like a decoy she said.
就像她说的一个诱饵。
But mostly, she sees herself as duped by Graner.
但大多数情况下，她认为自己被格拉纳欺骗了。
The moment that changed me was meeting Graner.
改变我的那一刻是遇见格拉纳。
If I wasn't involved with Graner I wouldn't probably be here.
如果我没有和格拉纳打交道，我可能就不会在这里。
I wouldn't have been in that situation.
我不会处于那种情况。
I probably would have been doing admin work.
我可能会一直做管理工作。
Therefore, I wouldn't have been in the pictures.
因此，我不会出现在照片中。
I wouldn't have been involved in any of that.
我不会参与其中的任何事情。
I probably would have know it was going on, but I wouldn't have been involved and I wouldn't have therefore, went to prison.
我可能会知道事情正在发生，但我不会参与其中，也不会因此入狱。
Or been the poster girl for this war.
或者是这场战争的海报女郎。
How do people see me as the villain?
人们如何看待我这个恶棍？
I mean, yeah, I was in pictures that showed me holding a leash around the guy's neck.
我的意思是，是的，我在照片中显示我用皮带套在那个家伙的脖子上。
But that's all I did.
但这就是我所做的一切。
I was in a picture.
我在照片里。
I never actually did anything to them.
我实际上从未对他们做过任何事。
I was convicted of being in a picture.
我因出现在照片中而被定罪。
Lynndie England's living back with her mom and her stepdad now with no income and with her three year old boy Carter, whose only relationship to his father is that he looks more like Graner every day.
林迪·英格兰 (Lynndie England) 和她的妈妈和继父住在一起，现在没有收入，和她三岁的儿子卡特 (Carter) 住在一起，卡特与他父亲的唯一关系是他每天看起来都更像格拉纳 (Graner)。
I just want to go on with life.
我只想继续生活。
Get a job, raise my son.
找份工作，抚养儿子。
It's going to be hard for me to get a job because now I have a felony on my record.
我很难找到工作，因为现在我有重罪记录。
Plus that people don't want the publicity.
另外，人们不想要宣传。
I don't think I have a lot of choices.
我不认为我有很多选择。
The way I feel right now in my own country to walk down the street is, I'm still scared.
我现在在自己的国家走在街上的感觉是，我仍然感到害怕。
Because there's just people that hate me.
因为有人讨厌我。
They feel like we shouldn't have been doing that or we were being inhumane, or whatever their opinion is.
他们觉得我们不应该这样做，或者我们不人道，或者无论他们的意见是什么。
At least when I was in Iraq I knew who the enemy was.
至少当我在伊拉克时我知道敌人是谁。
Here I don't.
在这里我没有。
I mean I go out.
我的意思是我出去了。
I go to Walmart, I go shopping.
我去沃尔玛，我去购物。
But it's like I'm always watching my back.
但我好像总是在注视着自己的背后。
I don't like to walk in public.
我不喜欢在公共场合行走。
I don't like to walk down the street.
我不喜欢走在街上。
I don't like to walk into a room that's crowded because it feels like everyone's staring at me.
我不喜欢走进一个拥挤的房间，因为感觉每个人都在盯着我。
And people do.
人们确实如此。
They stare me when I'm shopping for food, or something.
当我买食物或其他东西时，他们会盯着我看。
I got my son with me and I'm concentrating on him.
我带着我的儿子，我的注意力集中在他身上。
But I know people are staring at me.
但我知道人们都在盯着我看。
They know it's me.
他们知道是我。
All I did was what I was told to do.
我所做的就是别人告诉我要做的。
I didn't make the war.
我没有发动战争。
I can't end the war.
我无法结束战争。
It just doesn't make sense.
这根本没有意义。
The government is just putting the blame on me because they can, and they have.
政府只是把责任归咎于我，因为他们可以，而且他们已经这么做了。
I'm over it.
我已经结束了。
I'm fine.
我很好。
You know, I'm not fine with it, but whatever.
你知道，我对此不太满意，但无论如何。
She doesn't like to remember Abu Ghraib, but it's hard work forgetting.
她不喜欢记住阿布格莱布监狱，但忘记却很困难。
When a memory comes over her she says she thinks about something else, reads a book, watches a movie Sometimes she has nightmares.
当她回忆起来时，她说她在想别的事情，看书，看电影，有时她会做噩梦。
I don't even talk to my psychiatrist about them.
我什至不和我的精神科医生谈论它们。
Really?
真的吗？
Lynndie England No. Because if I don't think about it, then guess what?
Lynndie England 不。因为如果我不考虑这一点，那你猜怎么着？
Thoughts cause emotions.
思想引发情绪。
If I don't think about it, I'm not going to relive it.
如果我不去想它，我就不会重温它。
I'm only going to feel what I feel then.
我只会感受我当时的感受。
I'm not going to feel anything.
我不会有任何感觉。
So that's what I do, I don't think about anything.
所以我就这么做，什么都不去想。
I don't want to relive or feel.
我不想重温或感受。
If I think about it, I mean, it's overwhelming.
如果我仔细想想，我的意思是，这是压倒性的。
It's too much to think about.
需要考虑的太多了。
It's why I take medicine, so I don't have the nightmares.
这就是为什么我要吃药，这样我就不会做噩梦了。
Anti-depression, anxiety pills.
抗抑郁、抗焦虑药。
That and usually my son wears me out.
通常我的儿子都让我精疲力尽。
I'm usually exhausted and go to sleep.
我通常会感到筋疲力尽，然后就去睡觉。
On the rare occasion that I forget to take my medicine, I usually have nightmares.
偶尔忘记吃药时，我通常会做噩梦。
When that guy was screaming in the shower, I'll hear that in the middle of the night.
当那个家伙在淋浴时尖叫时，我会在半夜听到。
It'll wake me up and freak me out.
它会把我吵醒并吓坏我。
I mean, the way he was screaming.
我的意思是，他尖叫的方式。
It sounded like they were killing him.
听起来他们好像要杀了他。
Just death scream I guess you could call it.
我想你可以称之为死亡尖叫。
Sorry?
对不起？
Lynndie England Like a death scream, I don't know.
林迪·英格兰 就像死亡的尖叫声，我不知道。
It was horrible.
太可怕了。
He was just screaming at the top of his lungs constantly.
他只是不断地用尽全力尖叫。
And you're right like in the next room.
你就在隔壁房间。
It's like it's vibrating your whole body it's so loud.
就好像它在振动你的整个身体，声音如此之大。
I don't think I'll ever get that out of my head.
我想我永远也忘不了这一点。
In spite of the nightmares, when she spoke of the lessons she took away from Abu Ghraib, England went right back to Graner.
尽管做了噩梦，当她谈到从阿布格莱布监狱学到的教训时，英格兰立刻回到了格拉纳。
Learn from your mistakes.
从错误中吸取教训。
I learned from mine.
我从我的身上学到了。
It's like, I don't need a man to survive.
就像，我不需要男人来生存。
Forget him.
忘记他吧。
This is what makes Lynndie England such a frustrating fall guy, her inability to see Abu Ghraib as anything more than the place where she met her own private fate.
这就是林迪·英格兰成为一个令人沮丧的替罪羊的原因，她无法将阿布格莱布监狱视为她遭遇自己私人命运的地方。
Yet, the more she talked, the more I came to see her point.
然而，她说得越多，我就越明白她的意思。
She'd gone off to war, proud to be a soldier, and she returned a figure of disgrace on a scale that is really utterly incomprehensible.
她为自己是一名军人而自豪，奔赴战场，但归来时却遭遇了令人难以理解的耻辱。
Her buddies from Abu Ghraib had also been scapegoated.
她来自阿布格莱布监狱的好友也成为了替罪羊。
But Lynndie England was the household name.
但林迪·英格兰却是家喻户晓的名字。
Politicians denounced her, newscasters sneered at her, she got hate mail blaming her for the fact that Americans were being beheaded by Iraqi insurgents.
政客们谴责她，新闻播音员嘲笑她，她收到仇恨邮件，指责她造成美国人被伊拉克叛乱分子斩首。
And around the world, her picture holding the leash was splashed on the walls of mosques, stenciled on protest t-shirts, hoisted on signs that bobbed over angry mobs from Tehran to Jakarta.
在世界各地，她牵着皮带的照片被喷在清真寺的墙上，被印在抗议 T 恤上，被悬挂在从德黑兰到雅加达愤怒的暴徒上方飘扬的标语上。
So she couldn't make sense of what all this had to do with her.
所以她无法理解这一切与她有什么关系。
Can you blame her?
你能怪她吗？
I mean, at one level, she's right.
我的意思是，在某种程度上，她是对的。
Philip Gourevitch.
菲利普·古雷维奇.
His book about what happened in that prison and in those photos is called, The Ballad of Abu Ghraib.
他关于那所监狱和那些照片中发生的事情的书叫做《阿布格莱布之歌》。
Errol Morris's film with the actual interviews with England and the other US personnel from the prison is just really this incredible piece of filmmaking.
埃罗尔·莫里斯的电影对英格兰和监狱中的其他美国人员进行了实际采访，这确实是一部令人难以置信的电影制作作品。
I cannot recommend it enough.
我极力推荐它。
View movies are as ambitious and eye-opening.
看电影同样雄心勃勃、令人大开眼界。
It's called, Standard Operating Procedure.
这就是所谓的“标准操作程序”。
Coming up, grandma takes the fall.
一上来，奶奶就摔倒了。
Or that's what a little grandkid wants anyway.
或者这就是一个小孙子想要的。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show we choose a theme, bring you different kinds of stories on that theme.
我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的不同类型的故事。
Today's program, the Fall Guy.
今天的节目，《替罪羊》。
We have stories of people who are taking the rap for things they were not responsible for, willingly or unwillingly.
我们有这样的故事：人们自愿或不情愿地为自己不负责的事情承担责任。
We have arrived at act three of our show.
我们已经到了演出的第三幕了。
"Act three, Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough."
“第三幕，不要停止，直到你受够了。”
Our current economic crisis has moved into the beginning of a lawsuit phase.
我们当前的经济危机已进入诉讼阶段。
I don't know if that's good or bad.
我不知道这是好是坏。
But we're in a situation where people are trying to get somebody else to take the blame, take the fall, and pay up for our financial misdeeds in the last few years.
但我们现在的处境是，人们试图让别人承担责任，承担责任，为我们过去几年的财务不当行为付出代价。
Our economics correspondents on our program, Alex Blumberg and NPR's Adam Davidson have been looking into this and they have counted so far 196 lawsuits that are simply banks suing other banks.
我们节目中的经济通讯员 Alex Blumberg 和 NPR 的 Adam Davidson 一直在调查这一问题，他们统计了迄今为止 196 起银行起诉其他银行的诉讼。
And they have brought some of their findings here into the studio.
他们将一些发现带到了工作室。
So, Ira, as you can see, I have a huge pile of documents in front of me.
所以，艾拉，正如你所看到的，我面前有一大堆文件。
These are just a handful of the lawsuits that are going.
这些只是正在进行的诉讼中的一小部分。
There's big, white binders full of boring looking papers.
白色的大活页夹里装满了看起来很无聊的文件。
Yes, and this one right here that I took out my stack, this is M&T Bank Corp versus Gemstone CDO VII and Deutsche Bank Securities, and a handful of other people.
是的，我在这里拿出了我的堆栈，这是 M&T Bank Corp 与 Gemstone CDO VII 和德意志银行证券以及其他一些人的对比。
This focuses on one CDO, one of these toxic asset--
这里重点关注一项 CDO，即这些有毒资产之一——
Exactly.
正是如此。
But what they're saying is that Deutsche Bank lied.
但他们所说的是德意志银行撒谎了。
That's the allegation.
这就是指控。
They had made the original mortgage loans, and then they had created these toxic products made up of all these bundled mortgage loans.
他们发放了最初的抵押贷款，然后又创造了由所有这些捆绑抵押贷款组成的有毒产品。
They knew that a lot of people weren't paying their mortgages.
他们知道很多人没有支付抵押贷款。
A lot of people weren't even paying the first month the mortgage was due.
许多人甚至没有支付抵押贷款到期的第一个月。
So M&T's allegation is Deutsche Bank knew that--
所以 M&T 的指控是德意志银行知道——
And lied to the credit agencies, and lied to their clients.
并对信用机构撒谎，对他们的客户撒谎。
And lied to M&T.
并对 M&T 撒了谎。
Ira Glass Now has Deutsche Bank responded?
Ira Glass 现在德意志银行回应了吗？
They have.
他们有。
They asked a judge to dismiss this out of hand saying let's not even hear the case.
他们要求法官立即驳回这一指控，并表示我们甚至不要审理此案。
And actually, this is one of the only cases out of the hundreds of securities law cases that the judge did not dismiss.
事实上，这是数百起证券法案件中法官没有驳回的唯一案件之一。
It's really hard to get one of these through.
想要通过其中一项确实很难。
So M&T bank is trying to say that Deutsche Bank should be the fall guy for this $82 million?
那么 M&T 银行是想说德意志银行应该成为这 8200 万美元的替罪羊吗？
And I understand that there's another lawsuit that you guys have been looking into, which involves Citigroup.
据我所知，你们一直在调查另一起诉讼，其中涉及花旗集团。
Yeah, this is the big one.
是的，这是一个大的。
Ira Glass And in the case of Citigroup, it isn't another bank suing Citigroup.
Ira Glass 就花旗集团而言，并不是另一家银行起诉花旗集团。
Right, it's the Citigroup shareholders suing the bank that they own shares in.
没错，是花旗集团的股东起诉他们持有股份的银行。
And specifically, it's not all shareholders, it's a subset of shareholders.
具体来说，它不是所有股东，而是股东的子集。
Specifically, people who bought these shares between 2004 and 2009 in that five year period.
具体来说，是在 2004 年至 2009 年这五年期间购买这些股票的人。
And what they're saying basically is, they wouldn't have bought them for the price they paid if Citigroup had been more honest about its financial situation.
他们的意思基本上是，如果花旗集团对其财务状况更加诚实，他们就不会以所支付的价格购买它们。
So they're saying basically, they got tricked into buying Citigroup shares at a higher price than they should have paid for them.
所以他们基本上是说，他们被骗以高于应支付价格的价格购买了花旗集团股票。
And what's the substance of their suit against their own company?
他们对自己公司提起诉讼的实质是什么？
At the heart of this complaint is that Citigroup had all these toxic assets.
这一抱怨的核心是花旗集团拥有所有这些有毒资产。
And it's actually the opposite of the M&T lawsuit.
这实际上与 M&T 诉讼相反。
In the M&T lawsuit, they're saying Deutsche Bank had a crappy, toxic asset that wasn't worth anything and sold it to M&T.
在 M&T 诉讼中，他们称德意志银行拥有一文不值的蹩脚有毒资产，并将其卖给了 M&T。
They cheated M&T.
他们欺骗了 M&T。
This lawsuit is saying Citigroup had these crappy, toxic assets and they kept them.
该诉讼称花旗集团拥有这些蹩脚的有毒资产，但他们保留了它们。
Because they couldn't sell them.
因为他们卖不出去。
And so what they did is they kept them on their own books and then kept on, basically doing this activity for almost a year, where they would appear to sell them, but they weren't actually selling them.
因此，他们所做的是将它们保留在自己的账本上，然后继续进行，基本上进行了近一年的活动，他们似乎在出售它们，但实际上并没有出售它们。
They were just sort of creating an off balance sheet company that they would sell these assets to, but Citigroup still had the exposure to these assets.
他们只是创建一家表外公司，将这些资产出售给该公司，但花旗集团仍然拥有这些资产的风险敞口。
They would create an off balance sheet company?
他们会创建一家表外公司吗？
In other words, they would create a company and then pretend to sell it to that separate company.
换句话说，他们会创建一家公司，然后假装将其出售给该单独的公司。
Well, they would sell it to that company, but they owned that company.
好吧，他们会把它卖给那家公司，但他们拥有那家公司。
Right.
正确的。
What they didn't tell people is that they were still responsible for that company.
他们没有告诉人们的是他们仍然对那家公司负责。
Allegedly.
据称。
Adam Davidson If that company went down, they had to come and take on all of its assets.
亚当·戴维森（Adam Davidson） 如果该公司倒闭，他们就必须接管其所有资产。
Allegedly.
据称。
Adam Davidson So that's the allegation anyway.
亚当·戴维森：无论如何，这就是指控。
Yeah.
是的。
This document, which sums up their complaint is 534 pages, and it's just one of many, many documents we have on this lawsuit.
这份长达 534 页的文件总结了他们的投诉，这只是我们拥有的有关该诉讼的众多文件之一。
I got to say, as far as tables of contents go, I find this one really interesting.
我不得不说，就目录而言，我发现这个非常有趣。
It sort of tells the whole story in pretty inflammatory and not very legalistic language.
它用相当煽动性而不是非常法律主义的语言讲述了整个故事。
Right.
正确的。
So it starts off, CDOs.
那么一切就开始了，CDO。
What CDOS are.
CDOS 是什么。
Then it says, defaults inevitable.
然后它说，违约不可避免。
It goes into schemes.
它进入计划。
How to make $25 billion of subprime exposure and risks parentheses, "appear to disappear." CDO Ponzi schemes.
如何让 250 亿美元的次贷风险和风险“看起来消失了”。 CDO 庞氏骗局。
Wait, wait, wait.
等等，等等，等等。
These are the stockholders accusing their own company of running a Ponzi scheme?
这些股东指责自己的公司经营庞氏骗局？
Yeah.
是的。
Alex Blumberg OK, so Citigroup CDO Ponzi schemes.
Alex Blumberg 好的，花旗集团 CDO 庞氏骗局。
Case one, case two, case three.
情况一、情况二、情况三。
And then it has the continuation and culmination of the Ponzi scheme, citigroup's falsely hedged CDOs.
然后是庞氏骗局的延续和高潮，即花旗集团错误对冲的 CDO。
So it's basically alleging that they made these CDOs and then they pretended to hedge them.
因此，这基本上是指他们制造了这些 CDO，然后假装对冲它们。
In other words, pretended to like, basically get insurance against them if they went wrong.
换句话说，假装喜欢，如果他们出错的话，基本上可以得到保险。
But the suit alleges they didn't actually get insurance against these CDOs, so they weren't protected.
但诉讼称，他们实际上并没有获得针对这些 CDO 的保险，因此他们没有受到保护。
Citigroup's disclosures were materially false and misleading, omitted material information, precluded any independent assessment of Citigroup's exposure to potential risks.
花旗集团的披露存在重大虚假和误导性，遗漏了重要信息，导致无法对花旗集团面临的潜在风险进行独立评估。
Exactly.
确切地。
I mean this is just page three I think.
我的意思是，我认为这只是第三页。
It goes on for another five pages of the table of content.
它继续了目录的另外五页。
Of the table of contents.
目录。
Adam Davidson Right, exactly.
亚当·戴维森 正确，完全正确。
Citigroup's November 2007 disclosures and valuations were still false and misleading.
花旗集团 2007 年 11 月的披露和估值仍然是虚假和误导性的。
Still is in italics.
仍然是斜体。
Then this is one.
那么这是一个。
Citigroup's pre-November 2007, super senior-- that's a type of bond.
花旗集团 2007 年 11 月之前的超级高级债券——这是一种债券。
Super senior valuations were simplistic, solipsistic, and reckless reliance on credit ratings.
超级高级估值是简单化、唯我主义和鲁莽地依赖信用评级。
Quote--
报价--
Their pre-November 2007 valuations of these bonds that they had.
他们在 2007 年 11 月之前对这些债券的估值。
Were solipsistic?
唯我论吗？
Adam Davidson And then there's the whole second part of the sentence, and this is all in italics.
Adam Davidson 然后是该句子的整个第二部分，全部以斜体字显示。
Read this in italics.
请以斜体字阅读此内容。
Despite the fact that CDO prospectuses authored by Citigroup stated that such ratings were not reliable indicators of CDO value.
尽管花旗集团撰写的 CDO 招股说明书指出，此类评级并不是 CDO 价值的可靠指标。
So in other words, they relied on the very things that they were saying were not reliable.
换句话说，他们所依赖的正是他们所说的不可靠的东西。
Don't get these people mad.
别让这些人生气。
Adam Davidson Yeah, exactly.
亚当·戴维森 是的，完全正确。
So when you look at the M&T lawsuit, it's something familiar to us.
所以当你看到 M&T 诉讼时，你会发现这是我们熟悉的事情。
That's something we can understand.
这是我们可以理解的。
They're lying to someone.
他们在对某人撒谎。
They're cheating.
他们在作弊。
The Citigroup lawsuit is actually much stranger.
花旗集团的诉讼实际上要奇怪得多。
But it turns out, much more important.
但事实证明，这更重要。
The shareholders' lawsuit to Citigroup is not that you defrauded someone else, it's that you defrauded yourself.
股东对花旗集团的诉讼不是你欺骗了别人，而是你欺骗了自己。
That you brought yourself down.
是你把自己拉低了。
This by the way, is part of Citigroup's defense.
顺便说一句，这是花旗集团辩护的一部分。
In their legal documents they say, wait a second.
他们在法律文件中说，等一下。
Why in the world would we defraud ourselves?
我们到底为什么要欺骗自己？
Willingly.
心甘情愿。
Alex Blumberg Willingly, knowingly, purposefully.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格 (Alex Blumberg) 心甘情愿、有意、有目的地。
Now the argument is the managers, the people they're suing, get a bonus every year.
现在的争论是，经理们，他们所起诉的人，每年都会得到奖金。
So late 2006, early 2007, they're seeing the collapse coming.
所以在 2006 年底、2007 年初，他们看到了崩溃的到来。
But if they put it off a while, they get a little more bonus.
但如果他们推迟一段时间，他们会得到更多的奖金。
Maybe, just maybe, they'll get a lucky break and it won't be that bad, and nobody will ever know that they had all this junk on their books.
也许，只是也许，他们会得到一次幸运的突破，情况不会那么糟糕，而且没有人会知道他们的书上有这些垃圾。
In fact, in a way, you could say that the lawsuit against Citigroup is, you failed to defraud enough people that you were the sucker.
事实上，在某种程度上，你可以说针对花旗集团的诉讼是，你没有欺骗足够多的人，所以你才是傻瓜。
You should have found other suckers to sell this junk to.
你应该找到其他傻瓜来卖这些垃圾。
Wait, I feel like you just lost me.
等等，我感觉你刚刚失去了我。
Because you're saying that there was this crappy stuff on the books and somehow the manager should have found a way to sell it to somebody else, so they wouldn't get stuck with it?
因为你是说账本上有这些蹩脚的东西，经理应该找到一种方法把它卖给其他人，这样他们就不会被困住？
They should get it off their books.
他们应该把它从书本上去掉。
Now, they could get it off their books in a legitimate way.
现在，他们可以通过合法的方式将其从账簿中删除。
But obviously, they weren't able to sell this stuff.
但显然，他们卖不掉这些东西。
Nobody wanted it.
没有人想要它。
At least anywhere near the price they were willing to sell it for.
至少接近他们愿意出售的价格。
So a reasonable presumption seems to be that the shareholders would have been perfectly happy.
因此，一个合理的假设似乎是股东们会非常高兴。
In fact, thrilled, if Citigroup had managed to get rid of this.
事实上，如果花旗集团能够摆脱这个问题，我会很兴奋。
Right.
正确的。
And then maybe those other people would be suing you, but we wouldn't be suing you.
然后也许其他人会起诉你，但我们不会起诉你。
It'd be some other bank's shareholders probably, but not our problem.
可能是其他银行的股东的问题，但不是我们的问题。
And what I find really interesting is, if Citigroup had managed to sell some of the stuff off of its balance sheet and sell it to other people, make other people the suckers, it might not have been as bad for the system and for the rest of us as a whole.
我发现真正有趣的是，如果花旗集团能够设法将其资产负债表上的一些东西出售给其他人，让其他人成为傻瓜，那么对于整个系统和我们其他人来说，情况可能不会那么糟糕。
Wow.
哇。
You're saying that if Citigroup had been more of a bastard, the economy would be better?
你是说如果花旗集团再混蛋一些，经济会更好吗？
I am saying that.
我是这么说的。
I don't think that's even controversial, actually.
事实上，我认为这甚至没有争议。
So here's the way the argument goes.
这就是争论的方式。
Citigroup was the largest bank, financial institution in the country.
花旗集团是该国最大的银行、金融机构。
It is hugely important to the system as a whole.
它对于整个系统来说非常重要。
So if Citigroup goes down, it brings down the rest of the global financial system with it.
因此，如果花旗集团倒闭，全球金融体系的其他部分也会随之倒塌。
I mean Lehman almost brought down the global financial system.
我的意思是雷曼兄弟几乎摧毁了全球金融体系。
Citigroup is far, far larger than Lehman brothers and far more systemically important.
花旗集团比雷曼兄弟规模大得多，而且具有更重要的系统重要性。
So that's A.
所以那就是A。
B, they were on the brink of bringing the entire global economy down with them.
B，他们正处于拖垮整个全球经济的边缘。
And the way they got themselves to that position was because of these CDOs that the lawsuit is talking about.
他们之所以能达到这样的地位，是因为诉讼中提到的这些 CDO。
So it took all these crappy mortgages, and it took all these like crappy, toxic assets, and it sort of assembled them into one place, which was the Citigroup balance sheet.
因此，它吸收了所有这些蹩脚的抵押贷款，吸收了所有这些蹩脚的有毒资产，并将它们整合到一个地方，那就是花旗集团的资产负债表。
Which also happened to be sort of the central node of the global financial system.
这也恰好是全球金融体系的中心节点。
Instead of spreading the risk around the globe, it concentrated it all in the place where it could do the most damage.
它没有将风险分散到全球各地，而是将风险集中在可能造成最大损害的地方。
And of course, we don't know anything, right?
当然，我们什么都不知道，对吧？
I mean, obviously this is allegations in a lawsuit.
我的意思是，显然这是诉讼中的指控。
We're just saying it's really interesting.
我们只是说这真的很有趣。
And these lawsuits are one of the only avenues we have to try and understand what happened.
这些诉讼是我们必须尝试了解发生的事情的唯一途径之一。
Because the congressional hearings have frankly, not really yet revealed much of substance about what was going on inside the banks.
因为坦率地说，国会听证会还没有真正透露出有关银行内部正在发生的事情的大量实质内容。
The banks themselves haven't told us an awful lot.
银行本身并没有告诉我们太多信息。
Right.
正确的。
And one of the things that seems like out there is there's this sense that surely, something criminal must have been going on.
其中一件事似乎是有一种感觉，肯定是有犯罪行为发生。
That something this bad doesn't just happen by accident or by random sort of mistake.
如此糟糕的事情并不是偶然或随机错误发生的。
And so there must have been somebody at the heart of this who knew, I'm doing a bad thing.
所以一定有人在这件事的核心知道，我正在做一件坏事。
And these lawsuits are sort of like one of the things that's going to help us figure out if that was actually true.
这些诉讼有点像帮助我们弄清楚这是否属实的事情之一。
Adam Davidson and Alex Blumberg.
亚当·戴维森和亚历克斯·布隆伯格。
Their reporting on the economy is a co-production of our show and NPR News.
他们对经济的报道是我们的节目和 NPR 新闻的联合制作。
They'r thrice weekly podcast, Planet Money , is at npr.org/money.
他们每周三次播客 Planet Money，网址为 npr.org/money。
"Act four, Man in the Mirror."
“第四幕，镜中人。”
You know how in big families there's often one kid who's the default to get blamed and take the fall when something happens?
你知道在大家庭里，经常会有一个孩子在发生事情时默认受到指责并承担责任吗？
Shalom Auslander came from a small family, so in his family who would take the fall was usually up for grabs.
沙洛姆·奥斯兰德出身于一个小家庭，所以在他的家庭里，谁能承担责任通常是可以争夺的。
And he very much did not want it to be him.
他非常不希望这个人是他。
I was not a brave child.
我不是一个勇敢的孩子。
I was scared of heights.
我有恐高症。
I was scared of non-Jews.
我害怕非犹太人。
I was scared of Nazis.
我害怕纳粹。
I was scared of Arabs.
我害怕阿拉伯人。
I was scared of ET, the extraterrestrial.
我害怕 ET，外星人。
I was scared of the black people who lived in the town to the left of us, and I was scared of the Hasidic Jews who lived in the town to the right of us.
我害怕住在我们左边城镇的黑人，我害怕住在我们右边城镇的哈西德派犹太人。
I was scared of my father.
我很害怕我的父亲。
I was scared of God.
我害怕上帝。
I was scared of the dark.
我害怕黑暗。
I was not a brave child.
我不是一个勇敢的孩子。
I was eight years old and had a downstairs bedroom and I was afraid to come out at night.
我八岁了，住在楼下的卧室，晚上我不敢出来。
The bathroom lay on the far side of the den.
浴室位于书房的另一边。
And though the agony in my loins was often unbearable, I would rather have died of a burst bladder, then fall prey to the non-Jews, Nazis, Arabs, black people, extraterrestrials, and Hasidic Jews, who were lying in wait beneath the sofa bed next door.
虽然我腰部的痛苦常常难以忍受，但我宁愿死于膀胱破裂，也不愿成为埋伏在隔壁沙发床下的非犹太人、纳粹分子、阿拉伯人、黑人、外星人和哈西德派犹太人的牺牲品。
And so I spent my nights in the fetal position, in torment, waiting for my kidneys to fail.
于是我整晚都以胎儿的姿势度过，痛苦地等待着我的肾脏衰竭。
And wondering what would happen when they did.
并想知道当他们这样做时会发生什么。
One day I came home from school to find my mother in the den, opening the sofa bed, and putting on fresh sheets.
有一天，我放学回家，发现妈妈在书房里，打开沙发床，换上了新床单。
Grandma Ida is going to be living with us for a while she said.
艾达奶奶说要和我们住一段时间。
Why?
为什么？
Grandma Ida had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few months earlier.
几个月前，艾达奶奶被诊断出患有阿尔茨海默氏症。
And as the disease was progressing rapidly, she was no longer able to take care of herself.
随着病情的迅速发展，她已经无法照顾自己了。
She needs our help said, my mother.
我妈妈说，她需要我们的帮助。
Grandma Ida was my father's mother, 4 feet and 10 inches of compressed fury and discontent, wound as tightly as the silver hair bun on the top of her head.
艾达奶奶是我父亲的母亲，身高四英尺十英寸，内心压抑着愤怒和不满，就像她头顶上的银色发髻一样紧紧缠绕着。
She came to our house and scowled.
她来到我们家，皱起了眉头。
She scowled at me, and she scowled at my brother.
她皱着眉头看着我，也皱着眉头看着我弟弟。
She scowled at the food my mother cooked.
她皱着眉头看着我妈妈做的食物。
And she scowled at my father for scowling at the very same food she had just scowled at.
她对我父亲皱起了眉头，因为我父亲对她刚才皱眉的食物也皱起了眉头。
I had a recurring dream about her.
我经常梦见她。
It is Sukkot, the Jewish feast of Tabernacles.
这是住棚节，即犹太人的住棚节。
Grandma is sitting next to me.
奶奶坐在我旁边。
She looks at me and scowls.
她看着我，皱起了眉头。
Why don't you finish your meat, she says.
你为什么不把肉吃完呢，她说。
I'm not hungry, I reply.
我不饿，我回答道。
Your mother worked hard to make that.
你妈妈为了做到这一点付出了很大的努力。
How come you're not eating it then, I ask.
我问你那你怎么不吃呢？
And with that, Grandma scoops me up in her arms, carries me away from the table, and throws me down the stairs.
说完，奶奶把我抱在怀里，把我从桌子上抱起来，然后把我扔下了楼梯。
You can come back up, she says, when you learn some respect.
她说，当你学会了一些尊重时，你就可以回来。
I had a dream about her, I said to my mother.
我梦见了她，我对妈妈说。
Oh, she said, pulling on the pillow cases.
哦，她一边说，一边拉动枕套。
Stop being ridiculous, said my mother.
别再搞笑了，妈妈说。
Your grandmother, she added unconvincingly, loves you.
你的祖母，她难以置信地补充道，她爱你。
That dog, my mother said, is a ticking time bomb.
我妈妈说，那条狗是一颗定时炸弹。
Noodles was my white, curly-haired poodle-something mix.
面条是我养的白色卷毛贵宾犬的混合物。
I was the only one in the family that understood Noodles, and he was the only one who understood me.
我是家里唯一懂面条的人，他也是唯一懂我的人。
I loved Noodles not just because of who he was, but because of who he hated.
我爱面条不仅因为他是谁，还因为他讨厌谁。
Noodles hated my father.
面条讨厌我的父亲。
My father was a frightening man, with broad shoulders, thick fingers, and a short temper.
我的父亲是一个令人畏惧的人，肩膀宽阔，手指粗壮，脾气暴躁。
But Noodles didn't care.
但面条并不在意。
Noodles growled when my father came home.
当我父亲回家时，面条发出咆哮声。
He growled when my father walked across the room.
当我父亲走过房间时，他咆哮起来。
He growled when my father got up to go to bed.
当我父亲起身去睡觉时，他咆哮起来。
Lousy mutt, said my father, closing his bedroom door behind him.
糟糕的杂种狗，我父亲说着，关上了身后的卧室门。
Good boy, I whispered.
好孩子，我小声说道。
That dog, said my mother, is a ticking time bomb.
我妈妈说，那条狗是一颗定时炸弹。
One week later, Grandma Ida moved in.
一星期后，艾达奶奶搬了进来。
My mother had explained to me that Alzheimer's is a degenerative disease, which affected parts of the brain.
我母亲向我解释说，阿尔茨海默病是一种退行性疾病，会影响大脑的某些部分。
Grandma couldn't remember my name, or the name of my siblings, and she was wearing a diaper because she was losing control of her bowels.
奶奶不记得我的名字，也不记得我兄弟姐妹的名字，而且她穿着尿布，因为她的肠道失去了控制。
She looked even smaller than I remembered, and as I watched her struggle up the front steps of the house, my fear of her was replaced with sorrow and pity.
她看起来比我记忆中还要小，当我看着她挣扎着走上房子前面的台阶时，我对她的恐惧被悲伤和怜悯所取代。
Hi, Grandma, I said, giving her a hug.
嗨，奶奶，我一边说，一边给了她一个拥抱。
Don't hi me, said Grandma.
别跟我打招呼，奶奶说。
And stop pulling.
并停止拉扯。
Whatever parts of my grandmother's brain the Alzheimer's was affecting, it clearly hadn't yet spread to her scowl lobe, or her central anger cortex.
无论阿尔茨海默氏症影响了我祖母大脑的哪个部分，它显然还没有扩散到她的皱眉叶或她的中央愤怒皮层。
She scowled when she saw her room, scowled when she learned that I would be sleeping next door.
当她看到自己的房间时，她皱起了眉头；当她得知我将睡在隔壁时，她也皱起了眉头。
A strange man like that, she complained.
她抱怨道，这样一个奇怪的男人。
And scowled when my mother served dinner.
当我妈妈端上晚饭时，我皱起了眉头。
How are you feeling, Grandma?, I asked passing her the potatoes.
我把土豆递给她，问道，奶奶，你感觉怎么样？
Laugh now, she said, you'll die soon too.
现在笑吧，她说，你也很快就会死。
Then we'll see who's laughing.
然后我们就看看谁在笑。
That night I had a dream about her.
那天晚上我梦见了她。
It is Sukkot, the Jewish feast of Tabernacles.
这是住棚节，即犹太人的住棚节。
Grandma is sitting next to me.
奶奶坐在我旁边。
She looks at me and scowls.
她看着我，皱起了眉头。
Then comes the scooping, then the carrying, then the throwing me down the stairs.
然后是舀我，然后拎我，然后把我扔下楼梯。
I woke up.
我醒了。
It was late and my heart was racing.
天色已晚，我的心狂跳起来。
And as usual, my bladder was bursting.
和往常一样，我的膀胱爆裂了。
I tip-toed to my bedroom door and looked across the darkened room to the bathroom that lay beyond.
我蹑手蹑脚地走到卧室门前，目光穿过黑暗的房间，望向远处的浴室。
I thought for a moment that I would be safe crossing the room with Grandma there.
我想了一会儿，只要有奶奶在，我就能安全地穿过房间。
But it took her five minutes to get out of bed and the Nazis would be finished with me in just one.
但她花了五分钟才起床，纳粹只需一分钟就可以完蛋了。
Perhaps it was the opening of my door, perhaps it was a breeze coming from the window, but as I was turning to go back to bed I noticed a faint pee smell.
也许是门开了，也许是窗外吹来的微风，但当我转身回去睡觉时，我注意到一股淡淡的尿味。
She was, I thought to myself, an old woman.
我心里想，她是一位老妇人。
Accidents, I realized, happen.
我意识到，事故是会发生的。
A little extra pee I figured, wouldn't hurt anyone.
我想，多撒一点尿不会伤害任何人。
And so as Grandma Ida lay sleeping just 10 feet away, I stood at the edge of my bedroom, pulled down my pajama bottoms and peed on the orange shag rug that covered the den floor.
当艾达奶奶在 10 英尺外睡觉时，我站在卧室边缘，脱下睡裤，在覆盖书房地板的橙色粗地毯上撒尿。
I was not a brave child.
我不是一个勇敢的孩子。
I woke the following morning to a soft hissing sound coming from next door.
第二天早上，我被隔壁传来的轻微的嘶嘶声吵醒。
Watch where you step said my mother.
妈妈说，注意你的脚步。
She was emptying a can of Glade air freshener into the air.
她正在把一罐格莱德空气清新剂倒到空气中。
There was a pail of water on the rug beside the spot where I had peed the night before, along with an old scrub brush and some rags.
前一天晚上我撒尿的地方旁边的地毯上有一桶水，还有一把旧刷子和一些抹布。
What happened?, I asked.
发生了什么事？我问道。
Your grandmother had a little accident, she said.
你祖母出了点小意外，她说。
That's all.
就这样。
What kind of an accident?
什么样的事故？
An accident, that's what Kind Get some breakfast, you'll be late for school.
一场意外，就是这样，吃点早餐吧，你上学就要迟到了。
She took off her rubber gloves and followed me upstairs.
她摘下橡胶手套，跟着我上楼。
Grandma was in the kitchen scowling at her oatmeal.
奶奶在厨房里皱着眉头看着她的燕麦片。
Says you, said Grandma.
你说，奶奶说。
Noodles growled.
面条咆哮着。
That dog, said my mother, is a ticking time bomb.
我妈妈说，那条狗是一颗定时炸弹。
I was deliberate.
我是故意的。
I was careful.
我很小心。
I never peed on the same spot two nights in a row.
我从来没有连续两个晚上在同一个地方撒尿。
I peed as far away from my bedroom door and as close to Grandma's bed as possible.
我撒尿的时候离卧室门越远，离奶奶的床越近。
Every so often, I simply stood at my door and swiveled my hips, sprinkler style, so that the location of the pee could never be accurately identified.
每隔一段时间，我只是站在门口，像洒水器一样旋转臀部，这样就永远无法准确识别小便的位置。
This whole house smells like a god damn toilet, said my mother.
“这整个房子闻起来就像该死的厕所，”我妈妈说。
She's an old woman, I said.
她是个老太婆了，我说。
She bought some air fresheners with names like lavender meadow and orchard nectar Carpet Fresh, and spent Sunday morning cleaning, and scrubbing, and blotting, and dabbing.
她买了一些空气清新剂，比如薰衣草草甸和果园花蜜地毯新鲜，并花了周日早上进行清洁、擦洗、吸干和轻拍。
But the house still smelled like a toilet.
但房子里仍然有厕所的味道。
It smelled like a toilet someone had stuffed with flowers.
闻起来就像有人塞满了鲜花的厕所。
She bought my grandmother new diapers.
她给我祖母买了新尿布。
Now with elasticized legs, said the box.
盒子上说，现在有了松紧腿。
For greater comfort and security.
为了更加舒适和安全。
And she covered the mattress with an absorbent deodorizing mattress pad.
她还在床垫上盖了一块吸水除臭床垫。
I began to enjoy the peeing.
我开始享受撒尿的乐趣。
It wasn't just that it was the perfect crime, it's that it was the perfect justified crime.
这不仅是一次完美的犯罪，更是一次完美的正当犯罪。
My father was violent, my grandmother was bitter, my mother was manipulative, and I had a weak bladder.
我的父亲很暴力，我的祖母很刻薄，我的母亲很控制欲，而我的膀胱很弱。
Peeing on our house felt good.
在我们的房子上撒尿感觉很好。
It felt right.
感觉不错。
I'd wanted to pee on our house for some time, and it soon occurred to me that there was really no reason I couldn't pee in other rooms too.
我想在我们的房子里撒尿已经有一段时间了，但很快我就意识到我真的没有理由不能在其他房间里撒尿。
Grandma wasn't restricted to the den.
奶奶并不局限于书房。
I could pee anywhere she went.
我可以在她去的任何地方撒尿。
And so I did.
我也这么做了。
During breakfast, during dinner, while they were downstairs watching TV.
早餐的时候，晚餐的时候，还有他们在楼下看电视的时候。
I peed in my sister's room, I peed in my parents' room, and I peed in the dining room.
我在姐姐的房间里撒尿，在我父母的房间里撒尿，在餐厅里撒尿。
To avoid suspicions, I even peed in my own bedroom a couple of times.
为了避免怀疑，我什至在自己的卧室里撒尿了几次。
The house may have smelled like a toilet, but for the first time, in a long time, I felt happy.
房子里可能有厕所的味道，但很长一段时间以来，我第一次感到高兴。
And then one day, less than a month after Grandma arrived, I came home from school to find my mother waiting for me in my bedroom.
然后有一天，奶奶来了不到一个月，我放学回家，发现妈妈在卧室里等我。
We need to talk, she said.
我们需要谈谈，她说。
About what?, I asked.
关于什么？我问。
About Noodles.
关于面条。
Noodles always met me at the door when I came home from school.
当我放学回家时，面条总是在门口迎接我。
And looking around, I noticed he was missing.
环顾四周，我发现他不见了。
Where is he?
他在哪儿？
I asked.
我问。
Your father took him.
你父亲带走了他。
Took him?
带走了他？
That dog, said my mother, was a ticking time bomb.
我妈妈说，那条狗是一颗定时炸弹。
Took him where?
带他去哪儿了？
He's been peeing on the floor, said my mother.
“他一直在地板上撒尿，”我妈妈说。
It was Grandma, I said.
是奶奶，我说。
Grandma wears diapers, said my mother.
奶奶穿尿布，妈妈说。
It was Noodles.
这是面条。
And he nipped your father again.
他又咬了你父亲。
Where did he take him?
他带他去哪儿了？
I demanded, my eyes beginning to fill with tears.
我问道，我的眼睛开始充满泪水。
He took him to the pound, she said.
她说，他带他去了收容所。
He'll find a new home and we'll find a new dog.
他会找到一个新家，我们也会找到一只新狗。
I don't want a new dog, I shouted.
我不想要一只新狗，我喊道。
It was Grandma.
是奶奶。
I threw myself on the bed, buried my face in the pillow, and cried.
我扑倒在床上，把脸埋在枕头里哭了。
Noodles, I wailed.
面条，我哭了。
Noodles.
面条。
My grandmother stopped at my door and I looked up at her, tears running down my cheeks.
祖母在我家门口停下来，我抬头看着她，泪水从我的脸颊上流下来。
What is that racket, she said.
那是什么球拍，她说。
why is this [?
这是为什么[?
meshugana making such a racket?
梅苏加纳制造这样的球拍？
He misses his dogs, said my mother.
“他想念他的狗，”我母亲说。
Grandma waved her hand as she shuffled away.
奶奶摆摆手，拖着脚步走开了。
Filthy animals, she said.
肮脏的动物，她说。
I watched her go and a powerful rage grew inside me.
我看着她离去，一股强烈的愤怒在我心中升起。
OK, I thought.
好吧，我想。
Now it's personal.
现在是个人的了。
It wasn't just that they had punished the wrong person, it was that they had punished the wrong, wrong person.
不仅仅是他们惩罚了错误的人，而是他们惩罚了错误的、错误的人。
Sure, OK, yes.
当然，好的，是的。
I was peeing on the floor.
我在地板上撒尿。
But Grandma was peeing in her pants.
但奶奶却尿在裤子里了。
The only one not peeing where he wasn't supposed to was Noodles, and now he was gone.
唯一没有在不该撒尿的地方撒尿的是面条，而现在他已经走了。
I drank.
我喝了。
I drank water, I drank soda, I drank lemonade, I drank tea.
我喝水，我喝苏打水，我喝柠檬水，我喝茶。
I peed in the den, I peed in the kitchen, I peed in the foyer, I peed on the carpeted stairs.
我在书房里撒尿，在厨房里撒尿，在门厅里撒尿，在铺着地毯的楼梯上撒尿。
For the first few days my parents still blamed Noodles.
最初几天，我父母仍然责怪面条。
That damn dog, my mother said.
那条该死的狗，我妈妈说。
Scrubbing her way down the stairs.
她用力擦着下楼梯。
You see what he did to this house?
你看到他对这所房子做了什么吗？
But when new pee spots continued to appear, it was clear to everyone that a grave miscarriage of justice had been done.
但当新的尿点不断出现时，每个人都清楚，这是一场严重的误判。
The peer was still in the house.
这位同伴还在屋里。
I drank and I peed, and I drank and I peed.
我喝了，我尿了，我喝了，我尿了。
And then, one day, I came home from school and Grandma was gone.
然后有一天，我放学回家，奶奶不见了。
About what, I asked.
我问，关于什么。
About Grandma.
关于奶奶。
My mother's sighed and explained that they found Grandma a home where she could get the care and attention she needed.
我母亲叹了口气，解释说他们给奶奶找到了一个家，在那里她可以得到她所需要的照顾和关注。
It's in Brooklyn, said my mother.
“在布鲁克林，”我妈妈说。
Nice of you to ask.
很高兴你能问。
Can we get Noodles back?
我们可以把面条拿回来吗？
It's not that simple, she said.
她说，事情没那么简单。
And then she explained what happens at the pound to dogs that get returned.
然后她向被送回的狗解释了收容所发生的事情。
And to dogs that nip.
还有那些会咬人的狗。
And what the expression "put down" means.
以及“放下”这个词的含义。
And I felt the strength drain out of my legs and I sank onto the couch and buried my face in my hands.
我感到腿上的力气消失了，我跌坐在沙发上，把脸埋在双手里。
Hey, she said rubbing my shoulder, we'll get another dog.
嘿，她揉着我的肩膀说，我们再养一只狗吧。
What had started with pee on the carpet had ended with blood on my hands.
从在地毯上撒尿开始的事情以我双手沾满鲜血而告终。
I was angry at Grandma, but I didn't want them to put her down too.
我对奶奶很生气，但我不想让他们也贬低她。
I thought about being brave, about owning up to what I had done.
我想过要勇敢，承认自己所做的事情。
But I wasn't brave.
但我并不勇敢。
I knew my father would kill me, and then there'd be three dead bodies.
我知道我父亲会杀了我，然后就会出现三具尸体。
And so I took a deep breath, told my mother I wanted to get a big dog this time.
于是我深吸了一口气，告诉妈妈我这次想养一只大狗。
And together, we went upstairs for dinner.
然后我们一起上楼吃晚饭。
Shalom Auslander is the author of several books, including most recently, Foreskin's Lament.
沙洛姆·奥斯兰德 (Shalom Auslander) 是多本书的作者，其中包括最近出版的《包皮的挽歌》(Foreskin's Lament)。
Our program was produced today by Jane Feltes and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Sean Cole, Sarah Koenig, Lisa Pollak, Alissa Shipp and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由 Jane Feltes 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Sean Cole、Sarah Koenig、Lisa Pollak、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help of [?
生产帮助 [?
Andy Dixon.
安迪·迪克森。
?] Seth Lind is our production manager.
？] Seth Lind 是我们的生产经理。
Music help from Jessica Hopper.
杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
[致谢]《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia, who swears that he will not take the fall.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对 WBEZ 项目进行了管理监督，他发誓他不会承担责任。
It was not him who stole the plagiarism copy of Car Talk's Greatest Hits.
抄袭《Car Talk》精选集的人不是他。
But I didn't do it.
但我没有这么做。
I frigging wasn't even there.
我他妈根本就不在那儿。
The things weren't even there.
那些东西根本不存在。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories on This American Life .
我是艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass），下周回来，带来更多关于《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。