346: Home Alone - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #346 | November 14, 2008 346: Home Alone Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 346 集 | 2008 年 11 月 14 日 346：小鬼当家 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
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Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
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When holiday season began last November, Yvonne started getting it from all sides, friends, family.
当去年十一月假期开始时，伊冯开始从各方、朋友、家人那里得到这种信息。
I think people look at me sometimes, because I live alone, and think that I'm lonely.
我想人们有时会看我，因为我一个人住，认为我很孤独。
Like, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I had to really convince everybody that it's OK.
就像，明天是感恩节，我必须真正说服每个人，这没关系。
I'm going to be home alone on Thanksgiving.
感恩节我要一个人在家。
Go to Virginia, go to auntie whomever.
去弗吉尼亚，去找阿姨吧。
Do your thing.
做你的事。
And I'm going to be fine.
我会没事的。
Well, you know.
嗯，你知道。
No, I'm really going to be fine.
不，我真的会没事的。
Yvonne talked to researcher Allison McKim and our producer, John Jeter.
伊冯与研究员艾莉森·麦金和我们的制片人约翰·杰特进行了交谈。
She's lived alone since her kids moved out 12 years ago, and she says it took her five years before she came to actually enjoy it.
自从 12 年前她的孩子们搬出去之后，她就一直独自生活，她说她花了五年的时间才真正享受到这种生活。
I like the fact that it is self-indulgent.
我喜欢它的自我放纵这一事实。
What I want to eat, whether I choose to talk to anybody on the phone, if I want the TV and the radio going at the same time.
我想吃什么，是否选择通过电话与任何人交谈，是否希望电视和收音机同时播放。
And I'm not looking at or listening to either one.
我不会看或听其中任何一个。
I enjoy cooking, so cooking is not an issue, per se.
我喜欢做饭，所以做饭本身不是问题。
But I don't want to have to do anything.
但我不想做任何事情。
And so, I would want to cook when I want to, and I don't even want to compromise on it.
所以，我想做饭的时候就想做饭，而且我什至不想在这方面妥协。
OK, so you do Wednesday and Thursday, and I'll do-- No, I'll do it when I feel like it.
好的，所以你周三和周四做，我会做——不，我会在我愿意的时候做。
I want to do everything I feel like doing when I feel like doing it.
当我想做的时候，我想做所有我想做的事。
It's like killing a waterbug.
这就像杀死水虫一样。
I'm going to run from it if I'm here by myself.
如果我一个人在这里，我会逃离它。
But if, like you two are here, I was like, oh, no. I'll get it.
但如果像你们两个在这里一样，我就想，哦，不。我会得到它。
I'll get it.
我会得到它。
Where's the spray?
喷雾在哪里？
I can do that with other people, but I can just be the coward that I am when I'm alone.
我可以和其他人一起这样做，但当我独自一人时，我只能成为一个胆小鬼。
Right, exactly.
对，完全正确。
Exactly.
确切地。
Ira Glass When she gets involved with men, they're perfectly fine, she says.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：当她和男人交往时，他们都很好，她说。
But eventually she always decides that she would enjoy being alone more.
但最终她总是决定更喜欢独处。
Though, at first, she was scared to live alone, scared that somebody was going to break in, scared about how she was going to fill her time.
不过，一开始，她害怕独自生活，害怕有人闯入，害怕她将如何打发时间。
That took some getting used to.
这需要一些时间来适应。
And these days, she's afraid what's going to happen to her when she gets older, which is something her daughter worries about, too.
如今，她担心自己长大后会发生什么事，这也是她女儿担心的事情。
Yeah, she's worried that I'm going to be old, broke, possibly sick, and maybe unhappy that I've made this choice.
是的，她担心我会变老、破产、可能生病，而且可能会对我做出的这个选择感到不高兴。
Like, the rest of them, they want to see me happy, and they don't believe that I can be happy unless I have a companion.
就像其他人一样，他们希望看到我快乐，并且他们不相信除非我有伴侣，否则我会快乐。
Every now and then, the thought occurs to me, what if they're right?
我时常会想到，如果他们是对的怎么办？
It does happen every now and then.
它确实时不时地发生。
What if they're right?
如果他们是对的怎么办？
If this is as good as it gets, right now, and then I'm on to steady decline.
如果现在就这样，那么我就会稳步下降。
You'll have to interview me in 20 years, when I'll say, why didn't you stop me then, when I had a chance?
20年后你必须采访我，那时我会说，当我有机会的时候，你为什么不阻止我呢？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I'm good right now.
我现在很好。
Today in our radio show, Home Alone.
今天在我们的广播节目《小鬼当家》中。
We have three stories today of people living alone.
今天我们要讲三个关于独居者的故事。
Act One is the story of detective work in the homes of those who live by themselves.
第一幕讲述了在独居者家中进行侦探工作的故事。
Act Two is about a teenager who ends up living all alone.
第二幕讲述了一个最终独自生活的青少年的故事。
Act three is about a woman who has to trick an armed man into doing the right thing.
第三幕讲述了一个女人必须欺骗一个武装男人做正确的事情的故事。
It's This American Life , from WBEZ Chicago, distributed by Public Radio International.
《这就是美国生活》，来自芝加哥 WBEZ，由国际公共广播电台发行。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, A Plot Without a Story.
第一幕，没有故事的情节。
You may remember a couple years back in Chicago, in 1995, over 700 people died after a massive heat wave.
您可能还记得几年前的 1995 年芝加哥，一场大规模热浪导致 700 多人死亡。
And hundreds of them died alone, at home.
其中数百人孤独地死在家里。
Well, sociologist Eric Klinenberg wrote a book about all this, called Heat Wave .
社会学家埃里克·克林伯格 (Eric Klinenberg) 写了一本关于这一切的书，名为《热浪》。
And he says people die alone like this all the time, all over the country.
他说，全国各地一直有人像这样孤独地死去。
In fact, big cities have special personnel to deal with those deaths, who travel, Eric says, in the secret society of those who live and die alone.
事实上，大城市有专门的人员来处理这些死亡事件，埃里克说，他们在那些独自生活和死亡的人的秘密社团中旅行。
In Los Angeles, the county has an entire department, 100 people, just to manage the bodies and belongings of the deceased.
在洛杉矶，该县有一整个部门，100人，专门负责管理死者的尸体和财物。
And we sent Eric to LA, to watch what they do.
我们派埃里克去洛杉矶，看看他们做什么。
Mary Ann lived alone, and she died that way, too.
玛丽·安独自生活，她也是这样死去的。
She was 79 years old when she called herself an ambulance and went into the hospital.
当她叫救护车送进医院时，她已经79岁了。
Her life ended there two weeks later, after a full cardiac arrest.
两周后，她的生命在完全心脏骤停后结束。
She didn't have a friend or relative at her side.
她身边没有朋友，也没有亲戚。
In fact, the only person she'd even listed as an emergency contact was this woman, Sue, who delivered drugs for her pharmacy.
事实上，她唯一列为紧急联系人的人就是这位名叫苏的女士，她为她的药房运送药品。
I was really surprised when they called me and said that my name was on there as the person to contact.
当他们打电话给我并说我的名字在上面作为联系人时，我真的很惊讶。
I went, oh, really.
我去了，哦，真的。
OK.
好的。
I didn't even know if she had a brother or had family.
我什至不知道她是否有兄弟或有家人。
Sue last heard from Mary Ann on a phone call from the hospital.
苏最后一次收到玛丽安的消息是在医院打来的电话。
She left an urgent message, pleading with Sue to feed and look after her dogs, who were chained up outside the house.
她留下了一条紧急信息，恳求苏喂养和照顾她被锁在屋外的狗。
When she called, she was just crying, because she said, if somebody doesn't pick up the mail, they'll take her dogs away.
当她打电话时，她只是在哭，因为她说，如果有人不接邮件，他们就会把她的狗带走。
And she said, they're all I have.
她说，它们是我的全部。
She goes, I promise I won't cheat you.
她走了，我保证不会骗你。
I'll pay you.
我会付钱给你。
I wasn't worried about that.
我并不担心这一点。
It just broke my heart a little bit, you know, she would think that that's all she had.
这让我有点心碎，你知道，她会认为这就是她所拥有的一切。
That's what she said.
她就是这么说的。
This is the hospital where Mary Ann died.
这是玛丽·安去世的医院。
It's been two weeks, and her body's still here.
两周过去了，她的尸体还在这里。
No one's planned a funeral, or even picked up her things.
没有人计划葬礼，甚至没有人收拾她的东西。
The only personal property left at the hospital, according to their records, is a purse with glasses.
根据他们的记录，留在医院的唯一个人财产是一个带眼镜的钱包。
This is Emily [?
这是艾米丽[？
Issa ?].
伊萨？]。
She's a deputy investigator for the Los Angeles County Public Administrator, which means she's sort of like a detective for people who die alone.
她是洛杉矶县公共管理局的副调查员，这意味着她有点像一名侦探，专门调查那些孤独死去的人。
Emily combs through the remains of people's lives, trying to figure out what they left behind and who should get it, searching for next of kin.
艾米丽梳理人们的生命遗骸，试图找出他们留下的东西以及谁应该得到它，并寻找近亲。
Emily and her colleagues get 3,000 cases each year.
Emily 和她的同事每年都会收到 3,000 个病例。
Hi.
你好。
I'm here to see Carla Moreno in Patient Services, to pick up some property for a decedent.
我来这里是为了见病人服务部的卡拉·莫雷诺，为死者领取一些财产。
In this case, Mary Ann was single, with no known siblings or children.
在这种情况下，玛丽·安是单身，没有已知的兄弟姐妹或孩子。
But she owned her house.
但她拥有自己的房子。
She had a bank account, and who knows what other valuables in her home.
她有一个银行账户，谁知道她家里还有什么贵重物品。
Now someone stands to inherit it, and it's Emily's job to find out who.
现在有人将继承它，艾米丽的工作就是找出谁。
She's looking for someone who knew Mary Ann, to lead her to a relative.
她正在寻找认识玛丽·安的人，带她去见亲戚。
There's also the question of who's going to bury her.
还有一个问题是谁来埋葬她。
Before Emily's finished, she wants to resolve that, too.
在艾米丽说完之前，她也想解决这个问题。
We start our search at the Patient Services Office.
我们从患者服务办公室开始搜索。
There's a nun working there.
有一个修女在那里工作。
And, at first, we think she might know something helpful, because when she sees Mary Ann's name on the case file, her face lights up.
而且，一开始，我们认为她可能知道一些有用的信息，因为当她在案件卷宗上看到玛丽·安的名字时，她的脸亮了起来。
Oh.
哦。
I know her.
我认识她。
Emily How well did you know her?
艾米丽 你对她有多了解？
I just met her a couple of times, was able to visit her.
我只见过她几次，就能够拜访她。
Yeah.
是的。
Just when she was here.
就在她来的时候。
Anyway, so let's just have you--
无论如何，让我们拥有你——
She ever mention anything about family to you?
她有向你提起过任何有关家庭的事情吗？
Did she ever--
她有没有——
No. Eric Klinenberg The nun hands Emily a big plastic bag.
不。埃里克·克林伯格 修女递给艾米丽一个大塑料袋。
Inside is everything Mary Ann brought with her to the hospital, and Emily starts combing through it, looking for clues.
里面是玛丽安带到医院的所有东西，艾米丽开始仔细检查，寻找线索。
There's a fluffy blue robe, a small black purse.
有一件蓬松的蓝色长袍，一个黑色的小钱包。
There's some medication, some baby powder, just some glasses, typical things you'd find in a female's purse.
有一些药物、一些婴儿爽身粉、一些眼镜，这些都是女性钱包里常见的东西。
These are coupons.
这些是优惠券。
Here's the ads that she got the coupons from.
这是她获得优惠券的广告。
None of this is of much use to Emily.
这些对艾米丽来说都没有多大用处。
She needs contact information, an address book, a cell phone with some names on the speed-dial.
她需要联系信息、地址簿、快速拨号上有一些名字的手机。
There's nothing like that in the purse.
钱包里没有类似的东西。
She finds a notebook, and she flips through it in search of a personal note, maybe a list of last wishes.
她找到一本笔记本，翻阅起来寻找个人笔记，也许是最后的愿望清单。
But every page is blank.
但每一页都是空白。
What she does get is a set of keys to Mary Ann's house.
她得到的是一套玛丽安家的钥匙。
And Emily tells me that the best-case scenario is that, once we get there, we'll find a will or some instructions.
艾米丽告诉我，最好的情况是，一旦我们到达那里，我们会找到一份遗嘱或一些指示。
That only happens rarely, and in her line of work, it's like hitting the jackpot.
这种情况很少发生，在她的工作中，这就像中了大奖。
I've been out to a case where I walked in, and on the night stand next to the bed, it said "In case of emergency." And I opened the envelope, and it had listed everything that I would want to know.
我去过一个案子，我走进去，床边的床头柜上写着“以防万一”。我打开信封，里面列出了我想知道的一切。
And I'm like, wow.
我想，哇。
That's five minutes and I'm done.
五分钟后我就完成了。
Mary Ann's case isn't that easy.
玛丽·安的案子没那么容易。
When we get to her house, the two dogs are still chained up in the yard, so Emily calls animal control to take them away.
当我们到达她家时，两只狗仍然被拴在院子里，所以艾米丽打电话给动物管理中心将它们带走。
The outside of Mary Ann's house is a mess.
玛丽·安的房子外面一片狼藉。
The wood panels are rotting.
木板正在腐烂。
There's powdery gray dirt where grass should be.
本该是草的地方却出现了粉状的灰色泥土。
An old Volkswagen minibus with flat tires sits in the dusty driveway.
一辆轮胎漏气的旧大众小巴停在尘土飞扬的车道上。
The inside's even worse.
里面的情况更糟。
It's dark and dusty, cluttered with stacks of video cassettes, empty juice cans, boxes from the Home Shopping Network, many never even opened.
里面漆黑一片，布满灰尘，堆满了成堆的录像带、空果汁罐、家庭购物网络的盒子，其中许多甚至从未打开过。
I'm putting on my gloves so that we can start looking through the house.
我戴上手套，这样我们就可以开始检查房子了。
Emily, who seems completely unfazed by all this, declares it mildly pack-rat.
艾米丽似乎完全不为这一切所困扰，她宣称这有点像狼群。
This seems really pack-rat to me.
对我来说，这似乎真的很麻烦。
There's not an inch of--
没有一英寸——
You can walk on the ground.
你可以在地上行走。
You can still see the ground.
你仍然可以看到地面。
We see plenty of cases where you can't even walk on the ground.
我们看到很多您甚至无法在地面上行走的情况。
There is no floor, because it's packed with stuff where you're climbing over.
没有地板，因为上面堆满了你要爬过去的东西。
Emily is so used to places like this that she never goes on a search without gloves and tennis shoes, not to mention a mask, in case the person died at home and wasn't found for awhile.
艾米丽已经习惯了这样的地方，所以她从来不会在不戴手套和网球鞋的情况下进行搜索，更不用说戴口罩了，以防这个人死在家里，暂时找不到人。
Usually, she has to dig around.
通常，她必须四处挖掘。
Emily doesn't just open drawers and medicine cabinets.
艾米丽不只是打开抽屉和药柜。
If she has to, she climbs to the attic.
如果有必要，她会爬到阁楼上。
She breaks down locked doors.
她打破了锁着的门。
She once found someone's business records in a refrigerator.
她曾经在冰箱里发现过某人的商业记录。
Emily is searching through Mary Ann's living room.
艾米丽正在玛丽安的客厅里搜寻。
You can tell she has basically condensed her life into this one area.
你可以看出她基本上把自己的生活浓缩到了这一领域。
There's an unmade makeshift day bed in front of the dusty television.
布满灰尘的电视机前有一张未整理的临时沙发床。
So right now I'm just lifting up all of the different layers of the bed, the padding and blankets that are here.
所以现在我只是把床的所有不同层、衬垫和毯子都抬起来。
You'd be surprised how many times we actually find people that hide money and things under their bed.
你会惊讶地发现，有多少次我们确实发现有人把钱和东西藏在床底下。
But there's nothing under there, just stacks of egg crates and musty blankets.
但下面什么也没有，只有成堆的鸡蛋箱和发霉的毯子。
Oh, back here.
哦，回到这里。
This is a table and chairs.
这是一张桌子和椅子。
There's an entire dining room set hidden under the clutter.
整个餐厅隐藏在杂物之下。
Emily seizes on a stack of mail and canceled checks and starts rifling through it, but she doesn't find what she's looking for.
艾米丽抓起一叠邮件和作废的支票，开始翻阅，但她没有找到她要找的东西。
No business card from an attorney, no photos of friends or relatives, not even a personal check, just payments to AARP, Ladies Home Journal, TV Guide.
没有律师的名片，没有朋友或亲戚的照片，甚至没有个人支票，只有向美国退休人员协会、妇女家庭杂志、电视指南付款。
In fact, there's not a single sign that there was another person in Mary Ann's life, and I find that much stranger than the mess.
事实上，没有任何迹象表明玛丽·安的生活中还有另一个人，我发现这比混乱更奇怪。
Is this unusual?
这很不寻常吗？
I mean, we've now been here for maybe 45 minutes and we've not found a single personal item.
我的意思是，我们已经在这里待了大约 45 分钟，但我们还没有找到任何个人物品。
Not at all.
一点也不。
Eric Klinenberg It's not unusual?
埃里克·克林伯格：这并不罕见？
Not at all.
一点也不。
It's hard to describe, but there is a common thread that runs through a lot of our cases, where it's just like this, people surrounding themselves with things, things rather than people.
这很难描述，但是我们的很多案例中都有一个共同的线索，就是这样，人们周围都是事物，事物而不是人。
But she's surrounded herself.
但她已经把自己包围了。
She almost built herself into a little cave here, behind all of her stuff.
她几乎把自己建成了一个小山洞，藏在她所有的东西后面。
And you can tell that this is where she spent most of her time.
你可以看出，这是她度过大部分时间的地方。
Emily's just looking for contact information, not to piece together someone's life story.
艾米丽只是在寻找联系信息，而不是拼凑某人的生活故事。
But sometimes she gets those stories anyway.
但有时她还是会听到这些故事。
She tells me about one case that she can't stop thinking about.
她告诉我一个让她无法停止思考的案例。
A woman's husband died in World War II.
一名妇女的丈夫在第二次世界大战中去世。
She survived another 60 years, but her personal correspondence was a record of how she'd tried to avoid moving on.
她又活了 60 年，但她的私人信件记录了她如何试图避免继续前进。
I found the letters from the military telling her that his plane went down and that they couldn't find him.
我找到了军方的信，告诉她他的飞机坠毁了，他们找不到他。
I found the letter that said, we found his plane now and he's still missing.
我找到了那封信，上面写着，我们现在找到了他的飞机，但他仍然失踪。
And then I found the final letter that said, we found your husband's body.
然后我找到了最后一封信，上面写着：我们找到了你丈夫的尸体。
And she stopped living.
她不再活了。
Never remarried.
从未再婚。
They never had children.
他们从未生过孩子。
I mean, she just was-- it was like a time warp.
我的意思是，她只是——就像时间扭曲一样。
She just completely cut off the rest of the world.
她刚刚彻底切断了与世界的联系。
It's remarkable how little we find out about Mary Ann.
值得注意的是我们对玛丽·安的了解是如此之少。
We learn that her mother once lived with her at this address.
我们了解到她的母亲曾经和她住在这个地址。
There's lots of mail to her.
有很多邮件给她。
Her father married four times.
她的父亲结过四次婚。
Her mom was the third marriage.
她的妈妈是第三次婚姻。
She was into herbal medicine and natural remedies.
她热衷于草药和自然疗法。
She had microchipped the dogs.
她给狗植入了微芯片。
Emily tells me she doesn't want to make a personal connection with the people she's investigating.
艾米丽告诉我，她不想与她正在调查的人建立个人联系。
She doesn't usually try to figure them out, because there are just so many of them.
她通常不会试图弄清楚它们，因为它们实在太多了。
It would be hard to take.
这很难接受。
But I have to ask.
但我不得不问。
Do you ever wonder who she thought would clean this up?
你有没有想过她认为谁会清理这一切？
No. It's never even crossed my mind to think of.
不，我从来没有想过。
Most of the time, you see these people don't want anybody in here.
大多数时候，你会看到这些人不希望任何人在这里。
People who knew them never knew that they had this part of their lives that existed.
认识他们的人永远不知道他们生活中存在着这一部分。
She must have known that someday she would die, and someone would come in and find all these things.
她一定知道有一天她会死，会有人进来并发现所有这些东西。
Maybe it's just part of her knowing that she has no one to leave it to.
也许这只是她知道没有人可以留给她的一部分。
Where, who cares about my mess?
哪里，谁关心我的烂摊子？
Because I don't have anyone to leave my stuff anyway, so I might as well leave a mess.
因为反正我的东西也没人留下，所以我还不如留下乱七八糟的。
After nearly two hours, the only thing we found that might help Emily find a relative is a 30-year-old Christmas card addressed to Mary Ann and her mother.
近两个小时后，我们发现唯一可以帮助艾米丽找到亲戚的东西是一张 30 年前写给玛丽·安和她母亲的圣诞贺卡。
It's from a family in Virginia, and they must be related, because in the card they ask for help with the family tree for the kids.
这是来自弗吉尼亚州的一个家庭，他们一定有亲戚关系，因为在卡片上他们要求帮助孩子们制作家谱。
Emily deposits it in a clear plastic bag she'll bring back to the office.
艾米丽将其存放在一个透明的塑料袋中，她将带回办公室。
Emily seals the front door and walks outside.
艾米丽封上前门，然后走到外面。
A few neighbors are looking at us curiously, and she asked them what they know about Mary Ann.
几个邻居好奇地看着我们，她问他们对玛丽安了解多少。
Did you ever see her?
你见过她吗？
Did she have family?
她有家人吗？
After more than 20 years, I had never seen no visitors.
二十多年过去了，我从来没有见过访客。
This is Luis, who owns the house next door, and he says Mary Ann was never all that friendly.
这是路易斯，隔壁房子的主人，他说玛丽安从来都不是那么友好。
She doesn't seems to be very happy lady.
她似乎不是很高兴的女士。
Lonely.
孤独。
A lonely person is not a happy person.
一个孤独的人不是一个快乐的人。
She was very lonely most of the years.
这些年来，她大部分时间都很孤独。
George, another neighbor, had a different take.
另一位邻居乔治则有不同的看法。
He thought she was happy.
他以为她很幸福。
Yeah, all the time she talked with us.
是的，她一直在和我们说话。
She talked with my son.
她和我儿子谈话。
And every day I come from work, about 3:30, 4 o'clock, and she sometimes on the porch.
每天我下班，大约三点三十分、四点钟，她有时会在门廊上。
Hi, Mary.
嗨，玛丽。
Hi, George.
嗨，乔治。
So George thinks Mary Ann was happy.
所以乔治认为玛丽安很幸福。
Luis thinks unhappy.
路易斯不高兴地想。
Emily tells me this probably says more about Luis and George, and their personal feelings about people who are alone than Mary Ann.
艾米丽告诉我，这可能更多地反映了路易斯和乔治，以及他们对孤独者的个人感受，而不是玛丽安。
There's a stigma against living alone, and an even stronger one against dying alone.
独居是一种耻辱，而孤独死亡则更是一种耻辱。
I think one reason Emily is so well-suited for her job is that she believes most people live the way they want to live.
我认为艾米丽如此适合她的工作的原因之一是她相信大多数人都按照自己想要的方式生活。
She may be right, but I'm not so sure.
她可能是对的，但我不太确定。
When someone keeps to herself, there's no way to know whether she lived and died outside the reach of friends and family because she preferred it that way or because of things beyond her control.
当一个人独来独往时，我们无法知道她是否在朋友和家人的影响范围之外生活和死亡，因为她更喜欢这样，还是因为事情超出了她的控制范围。
Good afternoon.
下午好。
My name is Emily [?
我的名字是艾米丽[?
Issa ?].
伊萨？]。
I'm a deputy calling from the Los Angeles County--
我是从洛杉矶县打来的副警员——
Back in her cubicle, Emily makes a bunch of phone calls.
回到她的小隔间，艾米丽打了很多电话。
She tracks down the number of the man whose name was on the one clue she found in Mary Ann's house, the 30-year-old Christmas card.
她在玛丽·安家里找到了一条线索，即一张 30 年前的圣诞贺卡，找到了那个男人的电话号码。
His name is Terry.
他的名字叫特里。
He asked me not to use his last name.
他要求我不要使用他的姓氏。
But when Emily gets him on the phone, there's a problem.
但当艾米丽给他打电话时，出现了问题。
He's got no idea who Mary Ann is.
他不知道玛丽·安是谁。
Terry tells Emily to call his ex-wife.
特里让艾米丽给他的前妻打电话。
She's the one who actually wrote the card.
她才是真正写这张卡片的人。
Moments later, Emily's talking to her.
过了一会儿，艾米丽正在和她说话。
Oh, he's the one that gave me the phone number for you, and he said he had never heard of her.
哦，他就是给我你电话号码的人，他说他从来没有听说过她。
So you think that she was his aunt.
所以你认为她是他的姨妈。
I see.
我懂了。
The ex-wife was partly right.
前妻说对了一部分。
Mary Ann was a relative Terry's, but a distant one.
玛丽·安是特里的一位亲戚，但却是远亲。
Her mother was Terry's great aunt.
她的母亲是特里的曾姨妈。
But Terry had never met Mary Ann, never even spoken to her.
但特里从未见过玛丽·安，甚至从未与她说过话。
And he knew virtually nothing about her.
而他对她几乎一无所知。
We've been just going back and forth on this, trying to figure out, who is this person?
我们一直在反复讨论这个问题，试图弄清楚这个人是谁？
And meantime, I went back to the genealogy records, and I found all these Christmas cards.
与此同时，我又查阅了家谱记录，找到了所有这些圣诞贺卡。
And lo and behold, it was Mary Ann and her mother.
你瞧，那是玛丽·安和她的母亲。
Terry doesn't hesitate to admit that it was hard to feel emotional about Mary Ann's death.
特里毫不犹豫地承认，对玛丽·安的死很难感到悲伤。
My only feeling towards this right now is I feel responsibility to try to resolve her situation, to tidy up her life, I guess.
我现在对此唯一的感觉是我觉得有责任尝试解决她的处境，整理她的生活，我想。
One month after Mary Ann died, Terry and his cousins were still deciding whether they wanted the county to settle the estate or handle it themselves.
玛丽·安去世一个月后，特里和他的堂兄弟们仍在决定是希望县政府解决遗产还是自己处理。
Emily told me that, because Mary Ann's assets total more than $6,000, the Public Administrator would arrange for her to be buried in a local cemetery.
艾米丽告诉我，由于玛丽·安的资产总计超过6000美元，公共行政人员会安排她安葬在当地的一个墓地。
But what if she didn't have $6,000?
但如果她没有 6,000 美元怎么办？
LA County would still take care of things.
洛杉矶县仍然会处理好事情。
Honored guests, on this day we are gathered here for the annual mass burial, committing to this earthly resting place 1,918 brothers and sisters of humankind who passed away--
尊敬的各位来宾，这一天，我们聚集在这里，举行一年一度的集体安葬，向这片尘世安息的人类1918名逝去的兄弟姐妹们致以崇高的敬意——
When people die alone here without the money for burial, their bodies are cremated, and their ashes are stored in individual boxes for four years.
当人们在这里孤独地死去而没有钱埋葬时，他们的尸体会被火化，骨灰会被存放在单独的盒子里四年。
After that, if no one claims them, the ashes are removed from the boxes and buried together in a mass grave.
之后，如果无人认领，骨灰就会从盒子里取出，一起埋在集体坟墓里。
The burial takes place once a year.
葬礼每年举行一次。
This year's ceremony happened just a couple weeks ago.
今年的颁奖典礼刚刚在几周前举行。
We desire to honor these lives and the deaths of our unclaimed and seemingly forgotten people.
我们希望向这些无人认领和看似被遗忘的人们的生命和死亡表示敬意。
Just as--
正如——
We're in the corner of a massive cemetery, right next to a construction site that's torn up the whole street.
我们在一个巨大墓地的角落里，旁边就是一个建筑工地，整条街都被毁了。
The service is heartfelt, but a little empty, too.
服务很真诚，但也有点空虚。
Besides the chaplain, only 10 people, all county employees, showed up for the service.
除牧师外，只有 10 人参加了葬礼，全是县雇员。
One of them pointed out the tiny plaques that mark each year's grave site.
其中一个人指出了标记每年墓地的小牌匾。
The remains of 1,900 people fill a hole that's 10 feet long, eight feet wide, eight feet deep.
1,900 人的遗骸填满了一个 10 英尺长、8 英尺宽、8 英尺深的洞。
Look right over here.
看这里。
Half covered in dirt and sand, you've got 1984, and then three feet away is 1969.
一半被泥土和沙子覆盖，就是 1984 年，三英尺外就是 1969 年。
And there's 1966.
还有1966年。
And if we walk up this road, the numbers are going to keep dropping off and off and off, and go decades back.
如果我们沿着这条路走下去，数字将会不断下降，甚至会追溯到几十年前。
And you think about right here, in the span of just three feet, are the remains of thousands of people.
你想想，就在这里，在短短三英尺的范围内，有成千上万人的遗骸。
And from 10 feet away, you would never know that these plaques are here.
从 10 英尺外，您永远不会知道这些牌匾就在这里。
Right here.
就在这里。
All these thousands of people who lived alone and died alone aren't alone anymore.
成千上万的孤独生活和孤独死亡的人不再是孤独的。
Of course, being mourned is a kind of privilege, one that only comes to people who are actually close to other people.
当然，被哀悼是一种特权，只有真正与他人关系密切的人才能获得这种特权。
Whether they lived alone by choice or by accident, Mary Ann and those 1,918 dead won't get that luxury.
无论玛丽·安和那 1,918 名死者独自生活是出于选择还是出于偶然，他们都不会享受到这种奢侈。
[MUSIC - "TENUOUS GEARS" BY MICALAVERA]
[音乐 - MICALAVERA 的“TENUOUS GEARS”]
Eric Klinenberg is a professor of sociology at NYU and is working on a book called Alone in America .
埃里克·克林伯格（Eric Klinenberg）是纽约大学社会学教授，正在撰写一本名为《孤独在美国》的书。
Thea Chaloner did the reporting at Evergreen Cemetery in Los Angeles.
西娅·查洛纳 (Thea Chaloner) 在洛杉矶长青公墓进行了报道。
In the end, Mary Ann's family said that they're going to step in and take care of everything after her death.
最后，玛丽·安的家人表示，他们将在她去世后介入并处理好一切。
They'd be responsible for burying her or cremating her.
他们将负责埋葬她或火葬她。
And they'd clean out her house where, a month after her death, there was still a working phone line, and an answering machine.
他们会清理她的房子，在她死后一个月，那里仍然有一条可用的电话线和一台答录机。
[PHONE RINGING] Mary Ann This is a message phone.
[电话铃声] 玛丽·安 这是留言电话。
No name, no number, no message, no answer.
没有名字，没有电话号码，没有消息，没有答案。
[MESSAGE BEEP] Ira Glass Coming up, so you're 15 and living by yourself in an apartment, and you need money.
[消息提示音] Ira Glass 即将到来，所以您 15 岁，独自住在公寓里，并且需要钱。
So you and a 12-year-old named [?
那么你和一个名叫 [? 的 12 岁孩子
Moochie ?] go in on an investment scheme.
Moochie？] 参与一项投资计划。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, Home Alone.
今天我们的节目《小鬼当家》。
And we have, in the second half of our show, two adventure stories of things that happened to people who were home alone.
在节目的后半部分，我们有两个冒险故事，讲述了独自在家的人身上发生的事情。
We've arrived at Act Two of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two, Boy Interrupted.
第二幕，男孩被打断。
Before we get to what Clevins Browne actually did once he was living completely on his own as a teenager, a couple words about how he ended up that way.
在我们了解克莱文斯·布朗（Clevins Browne）青少年时期完全独立生活后实际上做了什么之前，先简单介绍一下他是如何最终变成这样的。
Sarah Koenig talked to Clevins.
莎拉·柯尼格与克莱文斯进行了交谈。
When he was little, Clevins Browne moved all around New York with his mother, to different apartments or homeless shelters.
小时候，克莱文斯·布朗 (Clevins Browne) 和母亲一起搬到了纽约各地，住过不同的公寓或无家可归者收容所。
He says a few months was the longest they ever stayed anywhere.
他说几个月是他们在任何地方停留的最长时间。
His mom would get in a fight with someone, or have a bad experience in a neighborhood, and they were off.
他的妈妈会和某人打架，或者在邻居中遇到不愉快的经历，然后他们就会离开。
But all that changed when Clevins was 12.
但一切在克莱文斯 12 岁时发生了变化。
That's when they finally got a subsidized apartment in Brooklyn, in a public housing complex known as the Pink Houses.
就在那时，他们终于在布鲁克林的一个名为“粉红屋”的公共住宅区内获得了一套补贴公寓。
Clevins says it was the first time he felt like maybe he could be a normal kid.
克莱文斯说，这是他第一次觉得自己可以成为一个正常的孩子。
He could invite friends over.
他可以邀请朋友过来。
He could decorate his own room.
他可以装饰自己的房间。
I was putting up posters of Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.
我当时正在张贴冷石史蒂夫·奥斯汀和巨石强森的海报。
And I also had posters of Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit decorating our refrigerator, stuff like that, stuff that we never really got to do, because since we didn't really own the house we can't really do that.
我还用 Kid Rock 和 Limp Bizkit 的海报来装饰我们的冰箱，诸如此类的东西，我们从来没有真正做过的事情，因为因为我们并不真正拥有房子，所以我们不能真正这样做。
But I just felt a sense of pride to say, hey, this is my wall.
但我只是感到自豪地说，嘿，这是我的墙。
I can put whatever I want on my wall, because I own this will.
我可以在墙上放任何我想要的东西，因为我拥有这个意志。
Like, wow, I've never owned a wall before.
就像，哇，我以前从未拥有过一堵墙。
Clevins says he was happy in the Pink Houses.
克莱文斯说他在粉红房子里很开心。
He liked school, and he had a couple of good friends in the project.
他喜欢上学，并且在这个项目中他有几个好朋友。
And then one day in the spring, when he had just turned 15 and was about to graduate from eighth grade, his mom got sick.
春天的一天，当他刚满 15 岁、即将八年级毕业时，他的妈妈生病了。
We were just watching television.
我们只是在看电视。
We were watching WB.
我们正在看WB。
That's basically what my mom and I do every night.
这基本上就是我和我妈妈每天晚上所做的事情。
We watch the WB, or we watch UPN.
我们看WB，或者我们看UPN。
And we were watching this one episode of The Fresh Prince .
我们正在观看新鲜王子的这一集。
My mother and I have seen this episode a million times.
我和我妈妈已经看过这个情节一百万次了。
And a joke came on.
然后就发生了一个笑话。
I forgot exactly what Will Smith said, but it was just one of those jokes that Will Smith said that we would always laugh at, and I just found myself, that I was the only person laughing.
我完全忘记了威尔·史密斯说了什么，但这只是威尔·史密斯说的我们总是会笑的笑话之一，我发现自己是唯一一个笑的人。
And then my mother was just staring at the television blankly.
然后我妈妈就只是茫然地盯着电视。
And I said, Mom, you didn't think that was funny this time?
我说，妈妈，你不觉得这次很有趣吗？
And she just remained quiet.
而她只是保持沉默。
And then she asked me to make her some tea, which really, in my house, with her is really skeptical, because my mother never makes me do anything for her.
然后她让我给她泡点茶，在我家里，对她来说，这真的很值得怀疑，因为我妈妈从来不让我为她做任何事。
So when she asked me to make her tea, I felt something was wrong.
所以当她让我给她泡茶时，我就觉得有些不对劲。
So while I was making her the tea, I just heard her-- I just heard, like, a boom sound.
所以当我给她泡茶时，我听到了她的声音——我听到了，就像是一声轰隆声。
Like, she just hit the floor.
就像，她刚刚摔在地板上。
Next thing you know, I walk into the room and then my mother is just holding her stomach.
接下来你知道的，我走进房间，然后我妈妈只是捂着肚子。
And she's closing her eyes and clenching her teeth.
她闭上眼睛，咬紧牙关。
She's screaming and everything.
她在尖叫等等。
Now my first initial reaction is to call 911 and run to the house phone, but then I realized that the house phone is disconnected.
现在我的第一反应是拨打911然后跑到家里的电话，但后来我发现家里的电话已经关机了。
So I run downstairs and I find a pay phone, and I called 911.
于是我跑下楼，找到一部公用电话，然后拨打了 911。
The operator responded by saying, 911, what's your emergency?
接线员回答说，911，你有什么紧急情况吗？
It took me about 10 seconds to respond to her.
我花了大约10秒才回复她。
I mean, I wanted to tell her that there was an emergency upstairs, but at the same time I didn't want to speak up about that.
我的意思是，我想告诉她楼上有紧急情况，但同时我又不想说出来。
Because I felt that if I spoke up about that, some way, somehow, Child Services would be involved.
因为我觉得如果我说出这件事，儿童服务机构就会以某种方式参与其中。
And that's really the last thing I wanted.
这确实是我最不想要的事情。
Why did you think that?
你为什么这么想？
Clevins Browne I mean, because I felt that if my mother was going to the hospital, then I would basically be upstairs by myself.
我的意思是克莱文斯·布朗，因为我觉得如果我妈妈要去医院，那么我基本上会自己上楼。
And I know pretty sure well that I might be taken away or something like that.
我非常清楚我可能会被带走或者类似的事情。
Like, the law would not allow a minor to be in the house by themselves.
比如，法律不允许未成年人独自呆在家里。
Had you ever been in Child Services before?
您以前参加过儿童服务机构吗？
No. Sarah Koenig So you had no experience with that system.
不。 Sarah Koenig 所以你没有使用该系统的经验。
It wasn't like, I'm not going back to the foster care, or something like that.
并不是说我不会回到寄养家庭，或者类似的事情。
I was in foster care, actually, before.
事实上，我以前曾被寄养过。
But Child Services, I got so many myths about.
但是关于儿童服务，我有很多误解。
Like it's just the worst thing in the world.
好像这是世界上最糟糕的事情。
You just don't ever want to be there.
你只是永远不想在那里。
So I dialed 911, and the operator on the other line was saying hello three times.
于是我拨打了911，另一边的接线员连声打招呼了三声。
And I pretended to be someone else.
而我则假装成别人。
And I said to the operator, "Um, hello, ma'am.
我对接线员说：“嗯，你好，女士。
There seems to be an emergency going on in apartment 8D, 1165 Stanley Avenue."
斯坦利大道 1165 号 8D 公寓似乎发生了紧急情况。”
Is that a character you had done before?
这是你以前演过的角色吗？
Oh, you want to know the inspiration for the voice?
哦，你想知道声音的灵感来源吗？
I do.
我愿意。
Clevins Browne When I was younger, I was always fascinated at the fact that you can be sitting in a movie theater, and there's always this one voice that you always hear.
克莱文斯·布朗（Clevins Browne） 当我年轻的时候，我总是着迷于这样一个事实：你可以坐在电影院里，并且你总是听到这个声音。
This summer, coming to a theater near you.
这个夏天，来到你附近的剧院。
And I'm like, who is this guy?
我想，这个人是谁？
Somebody tell me who he is.
有人告诉我他是谁。
And growing up I always thought he was this huge muscular dude, like this really, really large man, something like Paul Bunyan almost.
在成长过程中，我一直认为他是一个肌肉发达的大家伙，就像这个非常非常大的男人，几乎就像保罗·班扬一样。
So when you call 911, you're essentially pretending to be Paul Bunyan.
因此，当您拨打 911 时，您实际上是在假装是保罗·班扬 (Paul Bunyan)。
Pretty much.
差不多了。
I guess you could say that I'm pretending to be Paul Bunyan making an anonymous tip.
我想你可能会说我假装是保罗·班扬（Paul Bunyan）匿名举报。
And the operator asked me.
接线员问我。
She was just asking me all these probing questions.
她只是问我所有这些试探性的问题。
Because she doesn't believe.
因为她不相信。
Clevins Browne I think she thought it was a prank phone call.
克莱文斯·布朗 我想她认为这是一个恶作剧电话。
So then she asked me again, is there anyone else inside the house with her?
然后她又问我，房子里还有其他人和她一起吗？
"Oh, no. It's just this lady.
“哦，不，只是这位女士。
So I just figured I should just call you guys and let you know." So I run back upstairs, and the situation with my mother is a little bit tenser.
所以我想我应该给你们打电话让你们知道。”于是我跑回楼上，和妈妈的情况有点紧张。
She's not screaming at this point.
此时她没有尖叫。
She could actually speak to me.
她实际上可以和我说话。
She was like, you need to stop crying right now.
她说，你现在需要停止哭泣。
Don't worry.
不用担心。
Oh, you were crying.
噢，你哭了。
Clevins Browne I was crying.
克莱文斯·布朗我哭了。
And then moments later I'm hearing sirens, and I'm looking out the window.
过了一会儿，我听到警报声，我就看向窗外。
So I told her that the ambulance are here for you.
所以我告诉她救护车已经来接你了。
Don't tell them that I'm here.
别告诉他们我在这里。
And at this point I just ran into the closet.
这时我就跑进了衣柜。
I was really panicking right now, because I said to myself, Here they come.
我现在真的很恐慌，因为我对自己说，他们来了。
I can hear their footsteps, and I'm hearing walkie talkies and static.
我可以听到他们的脚步声，还听到对讲机的声音和静电噪音。
So I just closed the door in the closet.
所以我只是关上了壁橱的门。
And then, at that point, I was pretty much home alone.
然后，那时，我几乎一个人在家。
They were gone.
他们走了。
I'm looking out the window, watching them drive along and everything.
我看着窗外，看着他们开车，等等。
And I'm just like, I actually pulled this off.
我就想，我真的成功了。
I don't believe that I did that.
我不相信我这么做了。
Clevins' mother had a serious stomach illness.
克莱文斯的母亲患有严重的胃病。
Clevins says it was a cyst.
克莱文斯说这是一个囊肿。
But after that was taken care of, she ended up in the psychiatric ward.
但在得到处理后，她最终住进了精神科病房。
Clevins doesn't like to talk about it much, but his mom has a pretty long history of mental illness, depression, which accounts for all the moving.
克莱文斯不太喜欢谈论这件事，但他的妈妈有很长的精神疾病史，抑郁症，这就是所有感动的原因。
She'd been hospitalized for it before.
她之前曾因此住院过。
This time, she'd be away for about five months, but Clevins had no way of knowing that or anything about her condition.
这一次，她将离开大约五个月，但克莱文斯无法知道这一点，也不知道她的病情。
She couldn't call.
她无法打电话。
Their phone wasn't working.
他们的电话打不通。
And so he really had no idea what had just happened, where they'd taken her.
所以他真的不知道刚刚发生了什么，也不知道他们带她去了哪里。
He barely slept that first night.
第一晚他几乎没怎么睡。
The next morning, everything just seemed weird.
第二天早上，一切都显得很奇怪。
I remember leaving the apartment, and everything just looked new to me.
我记得离开公寓时，一切对我来说都是新的。
In front of my project building there was a sign that says "Hi, you're stepping into Louis H.
在我的项目大楼前面有一个标牌，上面写着“嗨，您正在走进 Louis H.
Pink Houses." And that's a sign I see every single day, but that one day it just looked new to me.
粉红色的房子。”这是我每天都会看到的标志，但有一天它对我来说看起来很新。
I felt older.
我感觉自己老了。
I just felt like, there's no one here.
我只是觉得，这里没有人。
There's no one that's going to do things for me from this moment on.
从这一刻起，就没有人会为我做事了。
I have to find out some way to do things on my own.
我必须想办法自己做事。
So you didn't want any of your neighbors to know you were there.
所以你不想让任何邻居知道你在那里。
I felt that they would call someone, like a Child Services representative.
我觉得他们会打电话给某人，比如儿童服务代表。
Because I really didn't want to go anywhere else.
因为我真的不想去别的地方。
Another thing that was really fearing me is that I felt like if I just got up and left, then maybe we would be evicted.
另一件让我真正害怕的事情是，我觉得如果我起身离开，那么也许我们就会被驱逐。
But I also knew that I didn't have any money to pay rent, so either way I was sort of stuck.
但我也知道我没有钱付房租，所以无论如何我都陷入了困境。
And then how do you-- at what point did you run out of food?
然后你怎么——什么时候食物用完了？
A little bit a half month later.
半个月后一点点。
And then, there has been a point where I just haven't been eating for days upon days.
然后，我已经好几天没有吃东西了。
Were you hungry?
你饿了吗？
Clevins Browne Very hungry.
克莱文斯·布朗 非常饿。
So what I would do is-- during the summer, different schools would have breakfast and lunch every single day-- so what I would do, I would just go to schools, any schools within the area, and just have breakfast and lunch there.
所以我会做的是 - 在夏天，不同的学校每天都会吃早餐和午餐 - 所以我会做的，我会去学校，该地区内的任何学校，然后在那里吃早餐和午餐。
And then there were some Saturdays and Sundays where I didn't eat anything at all.
然后有一些周六和周日我根本没有吃任何东西。
Or, if I'm lucky, I would probably get dinner from a friend of mine, like [?
或者，如果我幸运的话，我可能会从我的一个朋友那里得到晚餐，比如[？
Everoll ?], for example, or my neighbor Marie.
例如，Everoll？]，或者我的邻居玛丽。
But there was some Saturdays and Sundays that would pass by, and I'm not eating anything at all.
但有些周六和周日过去了，我根本不吃任何东西。
Wow.
哇。
How long were you without any money at all?
你有多久没有钱了？
Mm-hm.
嗯嗯。
Sarah Koenig So were you literally-- like, you did not have a dollar?
莎拉·科尼格（Sarah Koenig）那么，你真的没有一美元吗？
Nothing.
没有什么。
Sarah Koenig How did you do anything?
莎拉·柯尼格 你做了什么？
You live in New York City.
你住在纽约市。
How did you get on the subway?
你是怎么坐地铁的？
No. Sarah Koenig So what did you do all day?
不，Sarah Koenig 那么你一整天都做了什么？
I was basically just isolated to where I was at, just on my block.
我基本上只是孤立在我所在的地方，就在我的街区。
That's where I was at every day.
那就是我每天都待的地方。
Didn't really have any desire to go anywhere, really.
真的没有任何想去任何地方的愿望。
I would just be outside, just hanging out.
我只是在外面闲逛。
It was summer, and there's no one that's going to tell me that you have to be home at a certain time.
那是夏天，没有人会告诉我你必须在某个时间回家。
So I would just be out.
所以我就出去了。
I spent my entire summer just riding my bike, really.
我整个夏天都在骑自行车，真的。
It really was difficult for me to adjust to the fact that my mother's not here.
我真的很难适应妈妈不在的事实。
There's no one for me to talk to.
没有人可以跟我说话。
Where is she at at this very moment?
此时此刻她在哪里？
Is she OK at this very moment?
她此时此刻还好吗？
Is she thinking about me at this very moment?
她此时此刻是在想我吗？
And, at times, I would even listen to radio stations that my mother would listen to, even though I totally hated them.
有时，我什至会听我母亲听的广播电台，尽管我完全讨厌它们。
They'd play old music from way back in the day.
他们会演奏很久以前的老音乐。
Sugarfly honey bunch.
糖蝇蜂蜜束。
They played The Temptations and all this stuff.
他们演奏了《诱惑》之类的东西。
So while my mother was gone, I'd just start listening to WBLS.
所以当我母亲不在的时候，我就开始听 WBLS。
That's the best way I could really make the house lose its emptiness.
这是我真正能让房子不再空虚的最好方法。
So I really had no money in the house and everything.
所以我真的没有钱在房子和一切上。
So [?
所以 [？
Everoll ?] and I and a couple of our friends were walking in the street one day, and we found this garbage bag that had boxes of cigarettes inside there.
有一天，我和几个朋友在街上散步，我们发现了这个垃圾袋，里面装着几盒香烟。
So I have a stick, a little twig, that I'm just walking by, dragging it along the fence.
所以我有一根棍子，一根小树枝，我只是走过它，沿着栅栏拖着它。
So I see the garbage bag and I started poking it, and just started poking the bag and everything.
所以我看到垃圾袋，我开始戳它，然后开始戳袋子和所有东西。
So then, all these cigarettes, I don't know where they came from, just fall out of the bag.
那么，所有这些香烟，我不知道它们从哪里来，只是从袋子里掉出来。
In packs.
成包。
And then [?
进而 [？
Everoll ?] and I made a-- [?
Everroll ？] 我做了一个-- [？
Everoll ?] made a joke, actually.
埃弗罗尔？]实际上开了个玩笑。
He said, How many packs of cigarettes does it take to kill one person?
他说，需要多少包烟才能杀死一个人？
And then I just said, Maybe this is it right here.
然后我就说，也许就是这样。
And then we go home.
然后我们回家。
And then I'm inside my house, just watching TV, and I realized to myself-- I remember on my way upstairs, I saw people smoking cigarettes.
然后我在家里，只是看电视，我意识到——我记得在上楼的路上，我看到人们在抽烟。
And I'm saying to myself, people are wasting their money buying these cigarettes.
我对自己说，人们买这些香烟是在浪费钱。
So I just had to go back and get them.
所以我只得回去拿它们。
And so did you?
你也是吗？
Clevins Browne Mm-hmm.
克莱文斯·布朗 嗯嗯。
As much as I could.
尽我所能。
I didn't grab every last one, but I grabbed as much as I can.
我没有抓住最后的每一个，但我抓住了尽可能多的东西。
And then what did you do?
然后你做了什么？
Clevins Browne I went to Marie and I asked her if she would like to buy some cigarettes.
克莱文斯·布朗 我去找玛丽，问她是否愿意买一些香烟。
And she's like, What you doing selling cigarettes for?
她说，你卖香烟是为了什么？
I'm like, It's not like I'm selling drugs.
我想，我又不是在卖毒品。
These are cigarettes.
这些是香烟。
If the store can sell it, why can't I?
既然商店能卖，为什么我不能卖呢？
So she buys it.
所以她买了它。
And she's like, how much do you want for them?
她问，你想要多少钱？
I'm like, $2.
我想，2美元。
So she bought one box.
于是她就买了一盒。
Next thing you know, I have a whole line of people just knocking on my door, asking for cigarettes.
接下来你知道的，有一排人敲我的门，要香烟。
And in that one night, I made about $100.
在那一晚，我赚了大约 100 美元。
Like any good businessman, Clevins invested some of that money into a new venture, and made a profit of $150, with the help of his friend, [?
像任何优秀的商人一样，克莱文斯将其中的一部分资金投资到了一家新企业，并在他的朋友的帮助下获得了 150 美元的利润，[？
Moochie.
穆奇。
?] [?
？] [？
Moochie ?] was about 12, but he was shrewd.
Moochie？]大约12岁，但他很精明。
And he convinced Clevins, the way to make more money was to throw a party at his house and charge people $7 to come.
他让克莱文斯相信，赚更多钱的方法就是在他家里举办一场聚会，并向参加聚会的人收取 7 美元的费用。
[?
[？
Moochie ?] arranged the whole thing, the boom box, the food, which his mom cooked.
Moochie？] 安排了一切，包括音箱、食物，都是他妈妈做的。
The clean up and security detail, all [?
清理和安全细节，全部[？
Moochie's ?] little friends.
Moochie 的？]小朋友们。
And it worked, and Clevins was getting by, mostly staying out of trouble.
这招奏效了，克莱文斯过得很好，基本上没有遇到麻烦。
And then at about the two-month mark, he found a permanent solution to the food problem.
然后大约两个月后，他找到了解决粮食问题的永久解决方案。
There is this thing called an EBT card.
有一种东西叫做 EBT 卡。
EBT cards are food stamps.
EBT 卡是食品券。
How did you find the card?
你是怎么找到这张卡的？
Clevins Browne Going through my mother's stuff.
克莱文斯·布朗 (Clevins Browne) 正在翻阅我母亲的东西。
Where was it?
它在哪里？
Clevins Browne It was inside her purse that she left.
克莱文斯·布朗 (Clevins Browne) 她把东西留在了她的钱包里。
Oh, so she didn't even have her purse with her.
哦，原来她连钱包都没带。
So basically my mother had this card, and basically that's where all our food was coming from, like she would take this card, go to supermarkets.
所以基本上我妈妈有这张卡，基本上这就是我们所有食物的来源，就像她会拿着这张卡去超市一样。
So I was always under the impression that the code-- because there's a code, a four-digit number code-- I was always under the impression that it was my mother's birthday, 9763.
所以我总是觉得这个代码——因为有一个代码，一个四位数的数字代码——我总是觉得这是我母亲的生日，9763。
So I took the card to a supermarket, and I swiped the card and I have all this bunch of food and everything.
所以我拿着卡去了一家超市，刷了卡，我就有了这么多食物和所有东西。
What had you picked out?
你挑出了什么？
Clevins Browne I had picked out tons of pop tarts, cereal, peanut butter and jelly, bread, and all that.
克莱文斯·布朗 我挑了很多馅饼、麦片、花生酱、果冻、面包等等。
And I just throw it on the counter, and I swipe the card in.
我只是把它扔到柜台上，然后把卡刷进去。
And I type in 9763.
我输入 9763。
But then the card said, "invalid entry.
但随后卡上写着：“无效进入。
Read error."
读取错误。”
And before I figured out the access code, I would always go down to the supermarket and just run a test.
在我弄清楚访问代码之前，我总是会去超市进行测试。
I would take one item, and see if I could possibly pay for it by entering this access code.
我会拿一件商品，看看是否可以通过输入此访问代码来付款。
So I'm trying to figure it out, and I'm just scavenging through all of her stuff.
所以我试图弄清楚，我只是在翻阅她所有的东西。
And my mother has this leather jacket that is a unisex jacket, and I always wanted to wear this jacket.
我妈妈有一件男女皆宜的皮夹克，我一直想穿这件夹克。
I personally think the jacket looks better on me than it does on her.
我个人认为这件夹克穿在我身上比穿在她身上更好看。
And I would take this jacket.
我会选择这件夹克。
I would pretend that I'm Shaft.
我会假装我是Shaft。
And I had these two cap guns, these two black toy cap guns that I had.
我有这两把帽子枪，这两把黑色玩具帽子枪。
So what I would do is I would go in front of the mirror and put the guns inside my coat pocket and pull them out and just start shooting them.
所以我要做的就是走到镜子前，把枪放进外套口袋里，然后拿出来开始射击。
And I'm just going through the rest of the pockets.
我正在检查剩下的口袋。
So then I found an envelope that I was about to throw out.
然后我发现了一个我正要扔掉的信封。
And I read it, and it was a letter from the food stamps company, reminding my mother that her access code is this, this, this.
我读了它，这是一封来自食品券公司的信，提醒我妈妈，她的访问代码是这个，这个，这个。
And to my surprise, I went down to the supermarket and purchased some food, and it was actually the correct number.
令我惊讶的是，我去超市买了一些食物，结果实际上是正确的数字。
Now, what the food stamps card does is that they give you cash and they give you food stamps.
现在，食品券卡的作用是给你现金，给你食品券。
I had about $200 in cash and $200 in food stamps.
我有大约 200 美元的现金和 200 美元的食品券。
So I was really excited and grateful that this happened.
所以我对这件事的发生感到非常兴奋和感激。
All this time, his mom's close friend, a woman Clevins calls Aunt Elizabeth, one of the few adults he'd told about his situation, had been calling around to different hospitals trying to track down his mother.
一直以来，他母亲的密友、一位被克莱文斯称为伊丽莎白阿姨的女人，是他告诉过他的情况的少数几个成年人之一，一直在各个医院打电话试图寻找他的母亲。
Eventually, she did.
最终，她做到了。
Clevins found an old prescription of his mom's, and Aunt Elizabeth called the number and there she was, at Brookdale Hospital in Brooklyn.
克莱文斯找到了他妈妈的旧处方，伊丽莎白阿姨拨打了这个号码，她就在那里，在布鲁克林的布鲁克代尔医院。
Clevins rode his bike to go see her.
克莱文斯骑着自行车去看她。
It was pretty upsetting.
这真是令人沮丧。
There were some other people in there who had some really serious mental issues in there.
那里还有其他一些人有一些非常严重的精神问题。
And it really just made me feel uncomfortable.
这真的让我感到不舒服。
The people that she's in the ward with, those people are talking to themselves.
和她一起在病房的人，那些人正在自言自语。
And I'm always asking myself, why is my mother even with these people?
我总是问自己，为什么我的母亲和这些人在一起？
She's really nothing like them.
她真的一点都不像他们。
Why is she considered to be one of them?
为什么她被认为是其中之一？
My mother's pretty sane, but these guys are the total opposite.
我妈妈很理智，但这些人却完全相反。
Did you ask her that?
你有这么问她吗？
Clevins Browne No.
克莱文斯·布朗 No.
Not really.
不是真的。
Still trying to figure that out.
仍在尝试解决这个问题。
By this time, the summer was almost over.
这个时候，夏天已经快结束了。
And even though this whole thing had been hard on Clevins, still, in another way, he had lived the 15-year-old's dream summer.
尽管这整件事对克莱文斯来说很艰难，但从另一个角度来说，他还是度过了这个 15 岁男孩梦想的夏天。
Unlimited freedom, nothing to do but hang out with his friends.
无限的自由，除了和朋友们一起闲逛之外无所事事。
But now he had to start high school all on his own.
但现在他必须独自开始高中生活。
He was supposed to go to South Shore High School, which he knew nothing about, not even how to get there.
他本来应该去南岸高中，但他对此一无所知，甚至不知道如何到达那里。
He'd never even really been on the subway without his mom.
没有妈妈的陪伴，他甚至从未真正坐过地铁。
That first day, he asked the train conductor directions to his school, as if the guy was his personal tour guide.
第一天，他向火车售票员询问去学校的路线，就好像那个人是他的私人导游一样。
He never made it.
他从来没有成功过。
But on day two, once Clevins did get there, he was immediately miserable.
但第二天，克莱文斯到达那里后，他立即感到痛苦。
The place was huge.
这个地方很大。
He says it was like a jungle.
他说那就像一片丛林。
And it was so easy to cut classes, which he did, sometimes to go visit his mom.
逃课很容易，他也这么做了，有时去看望他的妈妈。
His grades slipped.
他的成绩下滑了。
Most of all, he hated how people at his school saw him.
最重要的是，他讨厌学校里的人如何看待他。
I didn't want to walk in to school being this panicky kid with problems.
我不想成为一个带着问题、惊慌失措的孩子走进学校。
That's not who I wanted to be.
那不是我想成为的人。
I just wanted to be a regular student.
我只想当一名普通学生。
Did you feel like people would look at you and know, oh, that kid.
你是否觉得人们看着你就知道，哦，那个孩子。
Nobody's taking care of-- did you look different from other kids?
没人照顾——你看起来和其他孩子有什么不同吗？
Did you feel like you looked different?
你有没有觉得自己看起来不一样了？
Were your clothes dirty or something?
你的衣服脏了还是怎么的？
My clothes were dirty, actually.
其实我的衣服很脏。
And I was really antisocial.
我真的很反社会。
I didn't really mix myself with other students and all that.
我并没有真正与其他学生混在一起。
Because why?
因为为什么？
Clevins Browne I just didn't feel like-- it just wasn't in me.
克莱文斯·布朗（Clevins Browne） 我只是不喜欢——它不在我身上。
I felt like I didn't know what direction I was going in.
我感觉我不知道自己要往哪个方向走。
It's like you're being teased.
就好像你被戏弄了一样。
Like, you have something in front of your eyes, but you can't get a hold of it.
就像，你眼前有一样东西，但你却抓不住它。
I'm always able to see my mother and talk to her, but I don't know when she's going to come out.
我总是能见到妈妈并和她说话，但我不知道她什么时候能出来。
I don't know how long she's going to be there.
我不知道她会在那里呆多久。
And that really just drove me insane.
这真的让我发疯。
I don't know what to do right now.
我现在不知道该怎么办。
And I never talked to anyone.
而且我从来没有和任何人说过话。
Never talked to my teachers.
从来没有和我的老师说过话。
There could be times where a teacher-- I'm sitting in a class and a teacher would call my name-- and I would just ignore them, like they're not even there.
有时，老师——我坐在课堂上，老师会叫我的名字——而我会忽略他们，就像他们根本不存在一样。
Like, don't talk to me.
比如，别跟我说话。
Were are you feeling self-conscious, that people would find out?
你是否因为担心人们会发现而感到难为情？
Yeah.
是的。
Sarah Koenig Did anyone ever say anything about it?
莎拉·科尼格（Sarah Koenig） 有人说过这件事吗？
My guidance counselor.
我的辅导员。
She just said, what's going on?
她只是说，怎么了？
I could obviously see something's wrong with you.
我明显看出你有些不对劲。
That's really a sign of something going on wrong at home, when people don't wash their clothes.
当人们不洗衣服时，这确实是家里出了问题的迹象。
I was just like, are you just attacking me?
我当时就想，你是在攻击我吗？
Is that what it is?
是这样吗？
Until now, I didn't see it-- I saw it as a way, oh, she's just attacking me.
直到现在，我还没有看到它——我把它看作是一种方式，哦，她只是在攻击我。
She's just trying to judge and disrespect me.
她只是想评判和不尊重我。
So I'm just going to leave her alone.
所以我就让她一个人呆着吧。
Forget about it.
忘记它吧。
Forget you, too.
也忘记你吧。
No, I didn't.
不，我没有。
Sarah Koenig And it was because she said that?
Sarah Koenig 是因为她这么说的吗？
Mm-hm.
嗯嗯。
Sarah Koenig And then, one day, the hospital called Aunt Elizabeth and told her Clevins' mom was ready to come home.
然后，有一天，医院给伊丽莎白阿姨打电话，告诉她克莱文斯的妈妈已经准备好回家了。
Prior to that day, the house was extremely messy, and my mother comes home.
那天之前，家里非常乱，妈妈才回家。
Were you worried?
你担心吗？
Clevins Browne Yeah.
克莱文斯·布朗 是的。
I thought she was really going to freak out with the way the house looked.
我以为她真的会对房子的样子感到害怕。
Actually, right before I opened the door, I'm like, Mom, you have to brace yourself for what you're about to see.
事实上，就在我打开门之前，我想，妈妈，你必须为即将看到的事情做好准备。
There are just so many unholy things going on in this house right now that you do not want to look at.
现在这所房子里发生了太多你不想看到的邪恶事情。
If you opened the door, imagine you're walking outside on a snowy day, and you have to struggle your ankles to get through the snow.
如果你打开门，想象一下你在下雪天走到外面，你必须挣扎着脚踝才能穿过雪。
Just substitute the snow with clothes and potato chip bags.
只需用衣服和薯片袋代替雪即可。
And I thought she was just going to be really upset.
我以为她会非常难过。
I was like, Mom, I'm going to take care of this.
我当时想，妈妈，我会处理好这件事。
This is my mess.
这是我的烂摊子。
I'll take care of it.
我会处理的。
No need to get mad or anything.
没必要生气什么的。
She didn't get upset.
她没有生气。
But I looked in her eyes and I felt like this is probably her way, a small way, of making up for the time she spent gone.
但我看着她的眼睛，我觉得这可能是她弥补她逝去的时光的一种小方式。
So that's why she really, really wanted to clean.
所以这就是为什么她真的非常想打扫卫生。
I've left you alone for this long.
我丢下你一个人这么久了。
This is the least I could possibly do for you.
这是我能为你做的最起码的事了。
So I came back just to check up on her.
所以我回来只是为了看看她的情况。
The house is completely spotless.
房子一尘不染。
There was no evidence of my five months of garbage piling up in there.
没有任何证据表明我五个月的垃圾堆在那里。
She just got rid of it all.
她刚刚摆脱了这一切。
The clothes were neatly packed up, the garbage is gone, the floor is mopped and swept.
衣服收拾得整整齐齐，垃圾不见了，地板拖地扫干净了。
I'm like, what?
我想，什么？
Did she ever say anything, directly, about the time you'd been alone?
她有没有直接说过关于你独处时的事？
Did you guys ever have a conversation about it?
你们有讨论过这件事吗？
Yeah, she kept on apologizing.
是的，她一直在道歉。
I said, there's no need for you to apologize.
我说，你没必要道歉。
You didn't intentionally say you want to leave me for five months.
你不是故意说要离开我五个月的。
So it's not your fault.
所以这不是你的错。
Was there any part of you that sort of-- Like, obviously, you love your mom and you wanted her to come home, but did you worry that certain things would become harder if she came home, too?
你是否有这样的感觉——显然，你爱你的妈妈，你希望她回家，但你是否担心如果她也回家，某些事情会变得更困难？
I felt that, when she comes home, I felt like I'm just going to be in the same predicament again one day.
我觉得，当她回家时，我感觉有一天我会再次陷入同样的困境。
I don't know when.
我不知道什么时候。
But I just knew and felt that it's going to happen again one day.
但我只是知道并感觉有一天这样的事情还会再次发生。
And I just felt like I just want to be more prepared the next time it happens.
我只是觉得我只想在下次发生这种情况时做好更充分的准备。
A few years later, it did happen again.
几年后，这样的事再次发生。
His mom disappeared.
他的妈妈失踪了。
Clevins was evicted.
克莱文斯被驱逐了。
But this time, Clevins was 18, and he did handle it a lot better.
但这一次，克莱文斯已经18岁了，他确实处理得更好了。
Since then, Clevins has been living in a friend's apartment.
从那时起，克莱文斯就一直住在朋友的公寓里。
He's working now, and he's planning on going to college next year.
他现在已经工作了，并计划明年上大学。
[MUSIC - "SPACE KEY" BY DANIEL LANOIS]
[音乐 - 丹尼尔·拉努瓦的《太空钥匙》]
Sarah Koenig is one of the producers of our show.
莎拉·科尼格是我们节目的制片人之一。
Act Three, The Man Who Came to Dinner.
第三幕，来吃晚饭的人。
Well, we end our show today with the story of a mother who was home alone with her two small children, when one of the scariest things that can happen actually happens.
好吧，我们今天以一位母亲带着两个小孩独自在家的故事来结束我们的节目，当时可能发生的最可怕的事情之一确实发生了。
This was in the early 1980s.
那是在 20 世纪 80 年代初。
Jennifer Schaller was one of the two little children at the time, and she tells the story.
詹妮弗·夏勒是当时两个小孩之一，她讲述了这个故事。
There's a story that my mother doesn't like to tell, because it brings back too many bad memories for her.
有一个故事，我妈妈不喜欢讲，因为它给她带来了太多不好的回忆。
But I love to hear her tell it.
但我喜欢听她讲。
It captures her perfectly, how fierce she is.
它完美地捕捉到了她，她是多么的凶猛。
It also shows what was really going on when I was a kid, and I didn't even know it.
它还展示了我小时候到底发生了什么，而我什至不知道。
We were living in Hightstown, New Jersey, in a one-bedroom apartment in a big courtyard building.
我们住在新泽西州海茨敦的一栋大庭院建筑中的一间卧室公寓里。
It was fall.
那是秋天。
My brother Alan and I were home from school playing outside.
我和弟弟艾伦放学回家，在外面玩耍。
I was five or six, and Alan was a year younger.
我五六岁，艾伦小一岁。
My mom, Ezra, picks up the story from here.
我的妈妈埃兹拉从这里开始讲述这个故事。
I was in the house by myself.
我一个人在屋里。
And then, he knocks on the door, and I open it up.
然后，他敲门，我打开门。
And he identifies himself as one of Raymond's friends, or associates, as they call each other.
他自称是雷蒙德的朋友或同事（他们互相称呼）之一。
Raymond is my father.
雷蒙德是我的父亲。
He wasn't around much.
他不在身边。
My parents told me that it was because of his job as a salesman.
我的父母告诉我，这是因为他的推销员工作。
I imagined he was a traveling salesman who pushed appliances.
我想象他是一个推销电器的旅行推销员。
I found out later that he was a pusher, but his job had nothing to do with vacuums or dishwashers.
后来我发现他是个推手，但他的工作与吸尘器或洗碗机无关。
When my mother and father first met, he was a legitimate jewelry salesman.
当我的父母第一次见面时，他是一名合法的珠宝推销员。
Then he traveled to Peru for his father's funeral, and while he was there his half-brother introduced him to the world of cocaine trafficking.
然后他前往秘鲁参加父亲的葬礼，在那里他同父异母的兄弟向他介绍了可卡因贩运的世界。
The drugs were a constant source of tension between my father and mother, who begged him to stop selling.
这些毒品一直是我父母之间关系紧张的根源，他们恳求他停止销售。
He promised he would, but never did.
他答应过，但从未做到。
At the time this story takes place, Raymond had been gone for more than a week, and my mom didn't know where he was.
当这个故事发生时，雷蒙德已经离开一个多星期了，我妈妈不知道他在哪里。
The man at the door told my mother he had business to discuss with Raymond.
门口的人告诉我妈妈他有事要和雷蒙德商量。
He wasn't going to leave until they had settled the matter.
在他们把事情解决之前，他是不会离开的。
And at that moment, both you and Alan run up behind him to see who it was that was at the door.
就在那时，你和艾伦都跑到他身后，想看看门口是谁。
And I really didn't know what to say to you guys.
我真的不知道该对你们说什么。
So he said that he was actually going to be staying with us for a while.
所以他说他实际上要和我们一起住一段时间。
And you guys were satisfied with that.
你们对此很满意。
And, you know, Oh, cool.
而且，你知道，哦，酷。
And you just take off and you start playing with your cousins again.
然后你就起飞了，然后又开始和你的表兄弟姐妹一起玩。
And so, at that point, he comes inside the apartment, and he shows me the gun.
所以，就在那时，他走进了公寓，并向我展示了枪。
The gunman said he had to make a phone call, so my mother took him to the phone in the kitchen.
枪手说他要打电话，于是我妈妈把他带到了厨房的电话处。
She listened to his conversation.
她听着他的谈话。
It became clear that he was on the phone with his boss in Florida.
很明显，他正在和佛罗里达州的老板通电话。
She overheard him report that Raymond was not around.
她无意中听到他报告说雷蒙德不在身边。
He said my mom didn't know where my father was or how to get a hold of him.
他说我妈妈不知道我父亲在哪里，也不知道如何找到他。
Then he turned to my mom and said his boss wanted to speak with her.
然后他转向我妈妈说他的老板想和她谈谈。
The man from Florida never identified himself, never actually gave his name.
这位来自佛罗里达州的男子从未透露自己的身份，也从未透露过自己的名字。
He just proceeded to tell me that he was very disappointed with Raymond, and that Raymond had disappeared.
他只是告诉我他对雷蒙德非常失望，而且雷蒙德已经失踪了。
It'd been four or five days already.
已经过去四五天了。
Absolutely no communication with him.
完全没有和他交流。
He had a kilo of coke on him, and it belonged to the man from Florida.
他身上有一公斤可乐，是那个来自佛罗里达的人的。
So he was concerned about his merchandise and his money.
所以他关心他的商品和他的钱。
So this is why that man wound up at our doorstep, to help smoke Raymond out.
这就是为什么那个人最后来到我们家门口，帮助把雷蒙德熏出来。
I hang up the phone with the guy from Florida, after he had told me that he was going to kill my children and me if Raymond didn't show up.
我挂断了与佛罗里达州人的电话，因为他告诉我，如果雷蒙德不出现，他就会杀死我的孩子和我。
I hang up the phone with the guy and I tell him, well, I guess we might as well get comfortable, because it looks like you're going to be here for a while, because Raymond isn't going to show up anytime soon.
我挂断了那个人的电话，然后告诉他，好吧，我想我们还是舒服点吧，因为看起来你要在这里呆一段时间，因为雷蒙德不会很快出现。
When my mom tells the story today, there's a lot of bravado.
今天我妈妈讲这个故事时，充满了虚张声势。
But at the time, she was terrified, mainly for us.
但当时她很害怕，主要是为了我们。
She wanted to keep me and my brother physically safe, but she didn't want this episode to scar us emotionally either.
她想保证我和我弟弟的人身安全，但她也不希望这一事件给我们带来情感上的创伤。
And so she made a decision.
于是她做出了决定。
She would continue with the ruse as long as she needed to.
只要需要，她就会继续这个诡计。
She carried on normally, as if the gunmen really was an old friend, staying with us for a short time.
她表现得很正常，就好像枪手真的是一位老朋友一样，在我们身边短暂停留了一段时间。
That evening you guys came in, I made dinner for us.
那天晚上你们进来了，我为我们准备了晚餐。
And you and your brother just joked around, because you thought he was a friend of your dad's.
你和你的兄弟只是开玩笑，因为你以为他是你爸爸的朋友。
So you guys were just being yourselves and joking around and stuff.
所以你们只是做自己，开玩笑之类的。
And I put you guys to bed.
我让你们上床睡觉。
And after I put you guys to bed, I went into the bathroom, and I grabbed a towel and I bunched it up and put it on my face.
在我让你们上床睡觉后，我走进浴室，抓起一条毛巾，把它揉成一团，放在脸上。
And I started screaming into it, as quietly as I could.
我开始尽可能小声地尖叫。
And then I started crying.
然后我开始哭泣。
And then, I thought to myself, OK, that's it.
然后，我心想，好吧，就这样了。
This guy can't know that you're upset or that you're fearful.
这个人不可能知道你感到不安或害怕。
Because the moment he sees fear, he's going to think he's got control.
因为当他看到恐惧的那一刻，他就会认为他已经控制了。
So he's not going to get that control from me.
所以他不会从我这里夺走控制权。
But how does a single mother with two small kids gain control over a hired gunman?
但是，一位带着两个小孩的单亲母亲如何控制一名雇佣枪手呢？
Moments after her tears in the bathroom, my mother saw an opportunity brought about by the television.
母亲在浴室里流泪后不久，就看到了电视带来的机会。
I wash my face, and I go back out into the living room, and I sat down.
我洗了把脸，然后回到客厅，坐下来。
And, at that time, it was probably about 8 or 9 o'clock, a movie started on TV, and it was The Godfather.
而且，当时大概是八九点左右，电视上开始放电影了，是《教父》。
I know.
我知道。
The Godfather.
教父。
Can you believe it?
你能相信吗？
I started conversing with the guy, and I tell him.
我开始和那个人交谈，然后我告诉了他。
I says, yeah, you know.
我说，是的，你知道。
I have an uncle that's in the mafia.
我有一个叔叔是黑手党的。
As I was telling him this story, his eyes got bigger.
当我给他讲这个故事时，他的眼睛睁得更大。
And he gets up quietly, and he goes over to the telephone, and he calls the guy in Florida.
他静静地站起来，走到电话旁，给佛罗里达州的那个人打电话。
He's explaining to him, you know, I'm not sure that we should be here in this place with this woman, because she has connections.
他正在向他解释，你知道，我不确定我们是否应该和这个女人一起在这个地方，因为她有联系。
And he was very nervous.
他非常紧张。
I could see that.
我看得出来。
And then he comes and he sits down.
然后他过来坐下。
And I just kept talking, like nothing.
我只是继续说话，就像什么都没有一样。
And I saw that I had the upper hand at that moment, so I was going to just go with it.
我看到那一刻我占了上风，所以我打算顺其自然。
My mother's uncle actually wasn't in the mafia, but his family all believed he was because that's what he told them.
我母亲的叔叔实际上并不加入黑手党，但他的家人都相信他是黑手党，因为这就是他告诉他们的。
He was actually hiding a girlfriend, and later on another family, from his wife.
他实际上向妻子隐瞒了一个女朋友，后来又隐瞒了另一个家庭。
He was a polygamist and not a goodfella.
他是一个一夫多妻制的人，而不是一个好人。
This lie struck a nerve with the hired gunman, who had settled in and slept nights on the sofa.
这个谎言触动了雇佣枪手的神经，他已经安顿下来并睡在沙发上。
My mother waited on him, bringing him things to eat and drink.
我母亲伺候他，给他送吃的和喝的。
The next day, you guys go to school, and I spend the whole entire day with this guy in our apartment.
第二天，你们去学校，我整天和这个家伙在我们的公寓里度过。
Pretty much just watched TV, yeah.
差不多就是看电视吧
And, every hour or two hours, the man from Florida would call and try and intimidate me and harass me, asking me where Raymond was and threatening to kill us.
而且，每隔一两个小时，那个来自佛罗里达的男人就会打电话来，试图恐吓我、骚扰我，问我雷蒙德在哪里，并威胁要杀了我们。
And I said, well, I don't know what to tell you, man.
我说，好吧，我不知道该告诉你什么，伙计。
But you do what you got to do.
但你做了你必须做的事。
If you feel that you got to kill us, then I guess I don't have any control over that.
如果你觉得你必须杀了我们，那么我想我对此没有任何控制权。
This is the point my mother says where her fear turned to rage.
这就是我母亲所说的，她的恐惧变成了愤怒。
She was enraged at my dad for getting us into this mess, at her captor for his intrusion, and at the man on the other end of the phone for his constant threats.
她对我父亲让我们陷入困境感到愤怒，对她的绑架者的闯入感到愤怒，对电话另一端的男人不断威胁感到愤怒。
So she amped things up a notch.
所以她把事情提高了一个档次。
While watching an episode of Miami Vice , she casually mentioned a cousin who was a police detective.
在观看《迈阿密风云》的一集时，她无意中提到了一位当警探的表弟。
This, my mother said, made her captor seem even more nervous.
我母亲说，这让绑架她的人显得更加紧张。
Then she began working on an excuse to see my aunt and uncle who lived in the apartment next door.
然后她开始找借口去看望住在隔壁公寓的我的阿姨和叔叔。
I had run out of milk.
我的牛奶已经用完了。
And the guy was insisting that I couldn't go anywhere, and that he had to watch me at all times.
那家伙坚持说我哪儿也不能去，而且他必须时刻看着我。
And I said well, cool, that's fine, but we need milk for the kids.
我说好吧，没关系，但我们需要给孩子们喝牛奶。
And I asked him, I said, OK, you won't allow me to go to the store.
我问他，我说，好吧，你不让我去商店。
Can I go right next door to my aunt's house and just ask her for a container of milk?
我可以去隔壁姨妈家向她要一盒牛奶吗？
And he just thought about it, and thought about it, and he waves his hand at me and says go ahead, go ahead, but you better be fast.
他只是想了想，想了想，然后他向我挥手说，继续，继续，但你最好快点。
Come back, and you better not be longer than five minutes.
回来后最好不要超过五分钟。
So I go next door, and I tell my uncle what's going on.
于是我走到隔壁，告诉叔叔发生了什么事。
And my uncle right away grabs his rifle, one of his rifles, and he says, well, I'm going over there and we're going to take care of this.
我叔叔立即抓起他的步枪，他的一支步枪，他说，好吧，我要去那里，我们会处理这件事。
And I said well, no, I don't want you getting involved in this.
我说好吧，不，我不想让你卷入这件事。
I don't want anything to happen to you.
我不想让你发生任何事。
So I said, can I use your phone?
于是我说，我可以用一下你的手机吗？
Let me call Tito real quick.
让我尽快给蒂托打电话。
Tito was an old family friend.
蒂托是我们家族的老朋友。
He was working as a delivery man at the time.
当时他正在做送货员。
My mother didn't call the police for two reasons.
我妈妈没有报警有两个原因。
She didn't want my father to go to jail, and she also feared that her children would be caught up in a violent mess.
她不想让我父亲进监狱，也担心她的孩子们会陷入暴力混乱之中。
She called Tito to ask him to drop by so that our captor would know that we had people, that we were not alone.
她打电话给蒂托，请他过来，这样我们的绑架者就会知道我们有人，我们并不孤单。
Things ended up working out better than she thought.
事情最终比她想象的要顺利。
The gunman mistakenly assumed that Tito was the police detective my mother mentioned earlier.
枪手误以为蒂托就是我母亲之前提到的警探。
I guess it was because of the clothing that he was wearing.
我猜这是因为他穿的衣服。
He had on a dark navy blue t-shirt and dark navy blue pants.
他穿着深海军蓝色T恤和深海军蓝色裤子。
And he didn't have any type of insignia on his clothing.
而且他的衣服上没有任何徽章。
And so, Tito comes in and he sits down.
于是，蒂托进来了，他坐下来。
I introduce him to the guy from Florida.
我把他介绍给来自佛罗里达的那个人。
And Tito's, you know, Hi, I just thought I'd come by and see how my comrade's doing, and find out how the kids are doing.
蒂托，你知道，嗨，我只是想过来看看我的同志怎么样，看看孩子们怎么样。
I haven't talked to them in a while.
我有一段时间没和他们说话了。
So the guy kind of slowly weens his way back towards the telephone in the kitchen, and he's on the phone again.
于是，那家伙慢慢地走回厨房里的电话机旁，然后他又开始打电话了。
And I tell Tito.
我告诉蒂托。
I says, Tito, shh.
我说，蒂托，嘘。
Listen to what he's saying.
听听他在说什么。
And he was in a panic.
他很恐慌。
He says, I'm leaving.
他说，我要走了。
I am not staying.
我不会留下来。
You do whatever the hell it is that you need to do, but I'm getting the hell out of here because now her cousin, who's the detective from New York City, is here.
不管你需要做什么，你都可以做，但我要离开这里，因为现在她的表弟，纽约市的侦探，就在这里。
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
我现在到底该怎么办？
The man on the other end of the phone somehow talked him into staying, and he did for three more days, with me and my brother coming and going to school and my mother waiting on him hand and foot.
电话那头的那个人不知何故说服了他留下来，他又留下了三天，我和我的兄弟来来去去上学，我的母亲全程侍候着他。
But by this point, the only person in the house who seemed afraid was the man with the gun, which brings us to what might be my mother's greatest triumph.
但此时，家里唯一感到害怕的人就是那个拿着枪的人，这可能是我母亲最大的胜利。
My brother and I never suspected any of this was going on.
我和我的兄弟从来没有怀疑过会发生这样的事情。
When I think back on this time, I remember going to kindergarten every day.
回想起这段时间，我记得每天都去幼儿园。
I liked to hug my teacher.
我喜欢拥抱我的老师。
My favorite food was pizza, and I was the best speller in my class.
我最喜欢的食物是披萨，而且我是班上拼写最好的。
I have no recollection of being held hostage by a gunman.
我不记得被枪手劫持为人质。
Neither does my brother.
我的兄弟也没有。
As a child, I was never angry at my dad for running off with someone else's cocaine.
小时候，我从来没有因为父亲带着别人的可卡因逃跑而生气。
And I don't think this memory is repressed.
我不认为这种记忆被压抑了。
I think my mother wanted more than anything for my brother and me to believe that our household was like any other, and she succeeded.
我想我母亲最希望我和我的兄弟相信我们的家庭和其他家庭一样，她成功了。
I only learned what happened that week years later, when I was grown.
几年后，当我长大后，我才知道那一周发生了什么。
I didn't show or demonstrate any anxiety.
我没有表现出任何焦虑。
Whenever you guys were around, I was my normal self with you.
每当你们在身边时，我就是和你们在一起的正常人。
I would play with you.
我会和你一起玩。
I would feed you guys.
我会喂你们。
I would read a book to you before you went to bed.
你睡觉前我会读一本书给你听。
And I went about business normally, our daily lives as I normally would.
我照常做生意，过着正常的生活。
That was pretty much it.
差不多就这样了。
That's maybe why you don't remember it ever happening.
也许这就是为什么你不记得它曾经发生过。
On our fourth day as hostages, my father showed up with the money and an explanation which seemed to placate the man who took us hostage, but not my mother.
在我们作为人质的第四天，我父亲带着钱和解释出现了，这似乎安抚了劫持我们人质的人，但我母亲却安抚不了。
This ordeal stamped out any hope she'd had of reconciling with my dad.
这次磨难浇灭了她与我父亲和解的希望。
The man with the gun was about to leave when my mother went into the backyard.
当我母亲走进后院时，持枪男子正要离开。
I had stepped outside into the backyard.
我走到了后院。
I mean, after so many days of being stuck inside the house, I needed fresh air.
我的意思是，在被困在房子里这么多天之后，我需要新鲜空气。
So I stepped outside, and so the man steps outside.
于是我走出去，那个人也走出去。
And he says to me, you know, senora, I am so sorry.
他对我说，你知道，女士，我很抱歉。
I hope that you are not going to hold this against me and tell your cousins or your uncle to come after me, because I really didn't want to be a part of this.
我希望你不会因为这件事而反对我，并告诉你的表兄弟或你的叔叔来追随我，因为我真的不想成为其中的一部分。
I was forced into this situation, and ma'am, I really, really, really am sorry about this whole thing.
我是被迫陷入这种境地的，女士，我对这整件事真的、真的、真的感到抱歉。
And he grabs my hand, and I thought he was going to shake my hand.
他抓住了我的手，我以为他要握我的手。
He grabs my hand, and he kissed it.
他抓住我的手，吻了吻它。
That was when I thought, damn, I'm good.
那时我想，该死，我很好。
That was the moment, truthfully.
说实话，那就是那一刻。
That was it.
就是这样。
That was when I thought, damn.
当时我就想，妈的。
And to this day, I think about it, and my palms get all sweaty.
直到今天，我想起来，手心都出汗了。
I was really in the zone.
我真的很投入。
I had my control back.
我恢复了控制权。
I had taken it back.
我已经把它拿回来了。
And it felt great.
感觉很棒。
It really did.
确实如此。
It felt really good.
感觉真的很好。
My father went on selling drugs for years.
我父亲多年来一直贩卖毒品。
When I was 11, he went to prison.
当我11岁的时候，他进了监狱。
But my mother says this experience changed her.
但我母亲说这次经历改变了她。
Nothing rattles her even now, she says.
她说，即使现在也没有什么能让她感到不安。
Not long ago, a client-- my mom's an insurance agent-- became irate with her, and, from across the desk in her office, threatened her with bodily harm.
不久前，一位客户——我妈妈是一名保险代理人——对她感到愤怒，并在她办公室的桌子对面威胁要伤害她。
My mom, all of five foot two, says she stood up, stepped out from behind her desk, and said calmly to the man, Well, have at it.
我妈妈身高五英尺二英寸，她说她站起来，从办公桌后面走出来，平静地对那个男人说，好吧，开始吧。
The man walked out of office in a huff and never bothered her again.
男人气呼呼地走出办公室，再也没有打扰她。
Our program was produced today by John Jeter and our senior producer Julie Snyder, with Alex Blumberg, Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig, Lisa Pollak, Robyn Semien, Alissa Shipp and Nancy Updike.
今天我们的节目由约翰·杰特 (John Jeter) 和我们的高级制片人朱莉·斯奈德 (Julie Snyder) 以及亚历克斯·布伦伯格 (Alex Blumberg)、简·菲尔特斯 (Jane Feltes)、莎拉·科尼格 (Sarah Koenig)、丽莎·波拉克 (Lisa Pollak)、罗宾·塞米恩 (Robyn Semien)、艾丽莎·希普 (Alissa Shipp) 和南希·厄普代克 (Nancy Updike) 共同制作。
Adrianne Mathiowetz runs our website.
阿德琳娜·马修韦茨 (Adrianne Mathiowetz) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Seth Lind and Bruce Wallace.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 和布鲁斯·华莱士 (Bruce Wallace) 为制作提供帮助。
Music help from Jessica Hopper.
杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGMENTS] Yvonne, the woman at the top of our program today, was originally interviewed for Eric Klinenberg's forthcoming book.
[鸣谢] Yvonne，我们今天节目的主角，最初接受了 Eric Klinenberg 即将出版的书的采访。
That research is funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
该研究由罗伯特·伍德·约翰逊基金会资助。
Our website, where you can get our free weekly podcast, www.thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站，您可以在其中获取我们的免费每周播客，www.thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Mr. Torey Malatia, who-- this is so weird.
[资金来源] 我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对 WBEZ 项目进行了管理监督，他——这太奇怪了。
He kept pledging over and over to public radio, hoping that he was going to win a big stuffed doll, until he spent all his savings.
他一遍又一遍地向公共广播电台许愿，希望能赢得一个大毛绒娃娃，直到他花光了所有积蓄。
Why didn't you stop me then, when I had a chance?
当我有机会的时候，你为什么不阻止我？
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life .
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。