330: My Reputation - This American Life

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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #330 | April 13, 2007 330: My Reputation Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.

00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 330 集 | 2007 年 4 月 13 日 330：我的声誉 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。

If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.

如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。

Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.

文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。

Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.

请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。

Prologue Ira Glass So Robyn was the only woman working on this men's magazine, which, OK, is weird to start with.

序言 Ira Glass 所以 Robyn 是唯一一位为这本男性杂志工作的女性，好吧，一开始就很奇怪。

This magazine, you should picture Maxim or FHM , but not as classy.

这本杂志，你应该会想到《Maxim》或《FHM》，但不是那么优雅。

They would get a medium famous TV star, like Alyssa Milano, out into the desert and convince her to take off her top for a photo shoot, that kind of thing.

他们会让一位中等知名的电视明星，比如艾莉莎·米兰诺，到沙漠里说服她脱掉上衣拍照，之类的事情。

So, Robyn's working there, and she's 23, just out of college.

Robyn 在那里工作，她 23 岁，刚刚大学毕业。

And she had started as the intern.

她是从实习生开始的。

She would write little music reviews.

她会写一些音乐评论。

And then her bosses asked her to do a much more substantial story than she'd ever done, about a Japanese pop star name Seiko.

然后她的老板要求她写一个比她以前做过的更实质性的故事，讲述的是日本流行歌星精子的故事。

They came to me, and this was a possible cover.

他们来找我，这可能是一个掩护。

I'm sure my jaw just dropped.

我确信我的下巴都惊掉了。

And she's coming in tomorrow, she is the Japanese Madonna.

她明天就来了，她是日本麦当娜。

You need to go to the photo shoot, she's going to get completely naked.

你需要去拍摄照片，她会全身赤裸。

This is the first time that this woman has ever done anything scandalous.

这个女人，还是第一次做出如此伤天害理的事情。

And you get to be the one to break this story, of her coming to America.

你将成为揭晓她来到美国这个故事的人。

And how'd that go?

进展如何？

Robyn Forest Um, not well.

Robyn Forest 嗯，不太好。

I hadn't had a lot of experience with high-level celebrities.

我没有太多与高级名人交往的经验。

And she had eight people come to the interview with us.

她带了八个人来接受我们的采访。

She also had figured out a way of doing this interview style that's very mirroring, where she would repeat back to me what I had asked.

她还想出了一种非常相似的采访风格，她会向我重复我所问的内容。

So, "What kind of clothes do you like to wear when you're performing?" "What kinds of clothes would you like to wear?" And I'd be like, "Well, I'm not sure because I'm not performing.

那么，“你表演的时候喜欢穿什么样的衣服？” “你想穿什么类型的衣服？”我会说，“好吧，我不确定，因为我没有表演。

But, if I were, I'd probably want to wear chaps, a small cowboy hat." I didn't know how to react, you know?

但是，如果我是的话，我可能会想戴一顶小牛仔帽。”我不知道该如何反应，你知道吗？

When I was asking her about her romantic life, she would do that same style.

当我问起她的感情生活时，她也会这么做。

And I think it really worked.

我认为这确实有效。

It did unsettle me.

这确实让我不安。

I'd say, "Are you involved with anyone?

我会说：“你和什么人有关系吗？

What do you love about men?" And she'd be like, "What do you love about men?"

你到底爱男人什么？”她会说：“你喜欢男人什么？”

And I left the interview pretty close to being in tears.

采访结束时我差点哭了。

So I went home, with a very brief interview, where essentially I had more of myself on tape than I had of her.

所以我回家了，进行了一次非常简短的采访，基本上我在录音中比对她的了解更多。

And I called back to office, and I said, there's just nothing here.

我打电话回办公室，我说，这里什么也没有。

On every level, there's nothing here.

在每个层面上，这里都什么都没有。

And they said, well, make it work.

他们说，好吧，让它发挥作用。

It's a 2,000 word piece now.

现在已经是2000字的文章了。

It's a feature.

这是一个特点。

It's our main feature on the feature wall.

这是我们特色墙上的主要特色。

Go home, and take your notes, and write what you can with it.

回家，记下笔记，写下你能写的东西。

So she didn't know what to do.

所以她不知道该怎么办。

And then she started thinking, OK, how would all the guys in the office write this story?

然后她开始思考，好吧，办公室里的所有人会如何写这个故事？

The magazine she worked for, they did that men's magazine thing where the writer basically just drools over the girl in the story, and how hot that girl is.

她工作的杂志，他们做了男性杂志的事情，作者基本上只是对故事中的女孩垂涎欲滴，以及那个女孩有多性感。

And Robyn thought, OK, fill enough paragraphs with that and the fact that she had no decent quotes from Seiko wouldn't even matter.

罗宾想，好吧，用这句话填充足够多的段落，而她没有从精工那里得到像样的引言这一事实​​根本不重要。

And I decided, my name sort of sounds like a boy anyway.

我决定，无论如何，我的名字听起来有点像男孩。

I'm just going to write it as if I'm a man who thinks she's the most attractive woman that's ever walked the earth, which is what I did.

我只是想写下它，就好像我是一个认为她是地球上最有魅力的女人的男人，这就是我所做的。

OK.

好的。

And so we have the article here.

所以我们这里有这篇文章。

Can I just ask you to read-- here's the article.

我可以请你读一下——这是这篇文章。

OK.

好的。

Ira Glass Can I ask you to just read the first paragraph or two?

Ira Glass 我可以请你读一下第一段或第二段吗？

"The prospect of seeing a beautiful woman's bare skin keeps me sane as I sit in traffic, en route to the photo session for Seiko, the reigning Japanese pop queen.

“当我坐在车流中，前往日本流行天后精子的拍照会场时，看到美丽女人裸露皮肤的前景让我保持理智。

Hot flashes of the Asian teen queen under an erotic spell of the camera blazes me a path through LA, bumper to bumper, and I arrive eager, mentally aroused, and a half an hour late.

亚洲少女女王在镜头的色情魔咒下的潮热让我一路穿过洛杉矶，一路颠簸，我兴奋地到达，精神兴奋，但迟到了半个小时。

The nude has been shot.

裸体已被拍摄。

Proof of the event is handed to me in Polaroid form.

活动证明以宝丽来形式交给我。

There I get my first glimpse of Seiko, as she posed a mere 30 minutes prior wearing only a good girl smile and a fan splayed over her privates.

在那里，我第一次看到 Seiko，她在 30 分钟前摆出姿势，脸上只有一个善良的女孩微笑，一把扇子遮住了她的私处。

And immediately, I'm consumed with the need to see in person what looks so tempting on film."

立刻，我就迫不及待地想亲眼看看电影中看起来如此诱人的东西。”

[LAUGHTER] Robyn Forest Yep.

[笑声] Robyn Forest 是的。

Yep, yep, yep.

是的，是的，是的。

Did the men who you work with, did they like this?

和你一起工作的人喜欢这样吗？

They thought it was like, wow, look at her.

他们认为这就像，哇，看看她。

How cool that our little girl's, you know--

我们的小女孩有多酷，你知道——

Our little 's growing up.

我们的小宝贝长大了。

Robyn Forest Our little girl's growing up to be a misogynist.

罗宾·福里斯特（Robyn Forest） 我们的小女孩正在成长为一个厌恶女性的人。

Were thrilled.

我们很激动。

So after a while, the magazine hits the newsstands.

过了一段时间，这本杂志就出现在报摊上。

And when Robyn gets to work the next day, her phone is already ringing.

当罗宾第二天上班时，她的电话已经响了。

It's Seiko's publicist.

这是精工的公关人员。

I thought she was calling me because I had written an article that she found offensive.

我以为她打电话给我是因为我写了一篇令她感到无礼的文章。

But I found out it was really she was upset because this woman had gotten naked on the set of our photo shoot, and she was going to have to try to control this so it basically doesn't cause this huge scandal in Japan.

但我发现她确实很沮丧，因为这个女人在我们的拍摄现场赤身裸体，她必须尽力控制这一点，这样它基本上就不会在日本引起这个巨大的丑闻。

Oh, because she's supposed to be a wholesome girl.

哦，因为她应该是一个健康的女孩。

That's her image, wholesome girl.

这就是她的形象，健康的女孩。

Yes.

是的。

So this is the first time she's ever really shown skin or anything like that.

所以这是她第一次真正展示皮肤或类似的东西。

So I'm waiting in the office, prepared to deal with camera crews that want to talk about her nudity.

所以我在办公室等着，准备应对想要谈论她裸体的摄制组。

And I remember I came up-- there might be have even been more than one TV crew waiting in the reception area.

我记得我上来时——甚至可能不止一个电视工作人员在接待区等候。

And when I came out, and I was a woman, they were completely freaked out.

当我出来时，我是一个女人，他们完全吓坏了。

Now, the reason why they freaked out-- as best as Robyn was able to piece together later-- the reason why was that when Seiko came to the United States to try to establish herself, not just as a Japanese pop star, but as an American pop star, this rumor started circulating in Japan that Seiko was leaving her husband behind, for some American.

现在，他们之所以惊慌失措——据罗宾后来所能拼凑出来的——原因是，当精子来到美国，试图确立自己的地位，不仅作为一名日本流行歌星，而且作为一名美国流行歌星时，这个谣言开始在日本流传，说精子要为了某个美国人而离开她的丈夫。

And so the press, the Japanese press, were trying to figure out, is there an American?

所以媒体，日本媒体，试图弄清楚，有美国人吗？

Who was this American?

这个美国人是谁？

So when they got this article, they were like, well, this person certainly seems obsessed with her, and very sexually hot for her.

所以当他们收到这篇文章时，他们的反应是，这个人看起来确实对她很着迷，而且对她来说非常性感。

Maybe Mr. Robyn Forest is her current lover.

也许罗宾·福里斯特先生就是她现在的情人。

So when Mr. Robyn Forest came out and Mr. Robyn Forest is a college-aged girl, they were really freaked out.

所以当罗宾·福里斯特先生出来时，罗宾·福里斯特先生是一个大学年龄的女孩，他们真的吓坏了。

Now Seiko has left her husband for this college-age girl, who's obsessed with her.

现在，精子为了这个痴迷于她的大学女孩而离开了她的丈夫。

Who looks just like an LA surfer girl.

她看起来就像洛杉矶冲浪女孩。

And that just sent them into a tizzy.

这让他们感到头晕目眩。

Like the story has gotten so much better than they ever dreamed.

就像这个故事比他们想象的要好得多。

Right, right, right.

对，对，对。

Ira Glass So Robyn sits down for this first interview, and she has no idea about any of this at the time, right?

Ira Glass 所以 Robyn 坐下来接受第一次采访，她当时对这些一无所知，对吗？

She thinks that they are only there to talk about the nudity.

她认为他们只是在那里谈论裸体。

And she tries to do right by Seiko.

她试图通过精工做正确的事。

She says what a nice girl Seiko is, how she hopes Seiko's album does great in the United States.

她说 Seiko 是一个多么好的女孩，她多么希望 Seiko 的专辑在美国取得好成绩。

And that was that.

就是这样。

So that first interview, I remember I just thought, well, I really set the record straight there.

所以，我记得第一次采访时我只是想，好吧，我真的在那里澄清了事实。

You know?

你知道？

And I thought that would be the end of the TV crews coming.

我以为电视工作人员的到来就到此为止了。

So then, the second day, about three or four came.

于是，第二天，大约有三四个人来了。

So I did another interview with one of them.

所以我又对其中一位进行了采访。

I thought, well, maybe this will make them leave.

我想，好吧，也许这会让他们离开。

And in that interview, that was the first time anyone said, "Are you attracted to her?" And I'm on camera.

在那次采访中，这是第一次有人问：“你被她吸引了吗？”我在镜头前。

I was like, oh wait, you think that I-- I was like, "Oh no, no, no, no. I'm not a lesbian."

我当时想，哦等等，你认为我——我当时想，“哦不，不，不，不。我不是女同性恋。”

And did you say you didn't find her sexy?

你说你不觉得她性感吗？

Because you have a whole article here saying you did.

因为你在这里有一整篇文章说你做到了。

I said, you know, I can recognize that she's attractive as a woman.

我说，你知道，我可以看出她作为一个女人很有魅力。

But no. I'm not attracted to her.

但没有。我对她没有吸引力。

And then they would just try to slip in a quick question like, "Did you touch her breast?" And I would be like, "Um, no." And then they'd just move on, really clever.

然后他们会尝试快速提出一个问题，比如“你摸过她的胸部吗？”我会说，“嗯，不。”然后他们就继续前进，非常聪明。

And then they'd be like, "What are your hobbies, Robyn?"

然后他们会问：“罗宾，你的爱好是什么？”

They were trying to throw me off.

他们试图把我赶走。

So that third interview, I was starting to get annoyed.

所以第三次采访时，我开始生气了。

And as the interviews got more and more-- I probably did about 20-- they would just get right to the point.

随着采访越来越多——我可能做了大约 20 次——他们就会切入主题。

"Did you sleep with her?

“你和她睡过吗？

What parts of her body did you see naked?

你看到她身体的哪些部位赤裸？

Did you touch her breast?

你摸过她的胸部吗？

Are you still talking to her?" And then they just didn't even try to be polite.

你还在跟她说话吗？”然后他们甚至没有尝试保持礼貌。

From her fans?

来自她的粉丝？

Robyn Forest Yeah.

罗宾森林 是的。

And people really just were never convinced that I wasn't the person that was having an affair with her.

人们真的从来不相信我不是与她有染的人。

Mainly, she just wished that her bosses had killed the story like she asked, back when the original interview went so badly.

主要是，她只是希望她的老板能像她要求的那样扼杀这个故事，当时最初的采访进展得如此糟糕。

I was like, "I told you guys that we shouldn't try to make this into a story.

我当时想，“我告诉过你们我们不应该试图把这变成一个故事。

And now look.

现在看看。

I'm a lesbian in Japan."

我在日本是一名女同性恋。”

And all of this had consequences in America, too.

所有这一切也对美国产生了影响。

See, before all this, among the very few articles Robyn had ever written, she'd done another story that had made publicists angry with her.

看，在这一切之前，在罗宾写过的极少数文章中，她写了另一篇让公关人员对她生气的故事。

People that are the handlers of celebrities, when they found out about all of this-- the publicists in LA definitely let each other know when things are going wrong.

那些名人的经纪人，当他们发现这一切时，洛杉矶的公关人员肯定会在出现问题时互相告知。

And there was, to some degree, I feel like, a bit of a black ball going on.

从某种程度上来说，我觉得这里面有一些黑球正在发生。

My reputation was that of being a wild card.

我的名声是“外卡”。

Maybe not to trusted with bigger celebrities.

也许不信任更大的名人。

So I recognized that this is probably the end for me.

所以我意识到这可能就是我的终结。

It was pretty much done.

已经差不多完成了。

So wait, so your entire career in journalism, you basically wrote two stories.

等等，你的整个新闻职业生涯基本上写了两个故事。

You ruined your own reputation.

你毁了你自己的名誉。

Yes.

是的。

I did.

我做到了。

And that was it.

就是这样。

Ira Glass That was it.

艾拉·格拉斯 就是这样。

You don't get to choose what makes your reputation.

你无法选择什么造就了你的声誉。

One dumb mistake can do it.

一个愚蠢的错误就可以做到这一点。

Well from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International.

来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。

I'm Ira Glass.

我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Today on our show, My Reputation.

今天我们的节目《我的声誉》。

Stories of people finding themselves at the mercy of what other people think of them.

人们发现自己受到别人对他们的看法的支配的故事。

And very much not agreeing with what other people think of them.

并且非常不同意其他人对他们的看法。

Act one of our show, Not Everybody Loves Raymond.

我们的节目之一，不是每个人都爱雷蒙德。

It that act, we have the story of a politician who goes through the kind of scandal that destroys a person's reputation.

正是这一行为，我们才有了一位政客的故事，他经历了毁掉一个人声誉的丑闻。

But he's the unusual politician in that he is willing to talk about it all, with a reporter, in a way you never hear.

但他是一位不同寻常的政治家，因为他愿意以一种你从未听过的方式与记者谈论这一切。

Act two, The Hole Truth.

第二幕，漏洞的真相。

A man asks his closest friends, on tape, what they really think of him.

一名男子在录音中询问他最亲密的朋友他们对他的真实看法。

And he is surprised at what they say.

他对他们所说的话感到惊讶。

And not in a good way.

而且不是以一种好的方式。

Stay with us.

留在我们身边。

Act one, Not Everybody Love Raymond.

第一幕，不是每个人都爱雷蒙德。

This story begins right after a political stampede in New Hampshire.

这个故事开始于新罕布什尔州的一场政治踩踏事件之后。

Last year, Democrats won majorities in the State Senate, in the House, they toppled both incumbent Republicans in congress to take the state's two house seats in Washington.

去年，民主党在州参议院赢得了多数席位，在众议院，他们推翻了国会中的两位现任共和党人，夺得了华盛顿州的两个众议院席位。

They already had a Democratic governor, but now they also took local boards and city councils.

他们已经有了一位民主党州长，但现在他们还控制了地方委员会和市议会。

The day after the election, Republicans called it a tsunami.

选举后的第二天，共和党人称其为海啸。

Keep in mind, this is New Hampshire, which is usually dominated by Republicans.

请记住，这是新罕布什尔州，通常由共和党人主导。

A kind of Libertarian "Live free or die" sort of Republican.

一种自由主义“不自由，毋宁死”的共和党人。

The last time Democrats had the House and the Senate and the governor's mansion in New Hampshire?

民主党上次在新罕布什尔州拥有众议院、参议院和州长官邸是什么时候？

1874.

1874年。

The last time they had all that, and the two representatives in DC was in the 1850s.

上一次他们拥有这一切，华盛顿的两位代表是在 1850 年代。

In a sense, the politics of New Hampshire is, in a way, small town politics.

从某种意义上说，新罕布什尔州的政治在某种程度上就是小镇政治。

State Representative is a part-time job.

州代表是一份兼职工作。

It only pays $100 a year.

每年只需支付 100 美元。

Political news happens on a half dozen public cable access shows that not many people watch.

政治新闻出现在六个公共有线电视节目上，但收看的人并不多。

But it's also sort of big politics, because New Hampshire, of course, has the first presidential primary in the country.

但这也是一种大政治，因为新罕布什尔州当然是该国第一次总统初选。

And New Hampshire politicians and political operatives hang out for months with the presidential hopefuls.

新罕布什尔州的政界人士和政治活动人士与总统候选人一起度过了数月之久。

OK.

好的。

So that is the setting for this story Sarah Koenig, tells what happened.

这就是莎拉·柯尼格讲述所发生的事情的故事背景。

The day after election day was suddenly a very, very good time to be a Democrat in New Hampshire.

选举日后的第二天突然成为新罕布什尔州民主党人的一个非常非常好的时机。

And a good time to be Ray Buckley, too.

这也是成为雷·巴克利的好时机。

Buckley was one of the main strategists behind the landslide.

巴克利是这场压倒性胜利背后的主要战略家之一。

Here's how he began his weekly political talk show on cable access TV the next morning.

以下是他第二天早上在有线电视上开始每周政治脱口秀节目的方式。

[MUSIC - "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" BY QUEEN]

[音乐 - 女王的“我们是冠军”]

The takeover caused statewide euphoria among Democrats, but you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone happier about it than Buckley.

这次收购引起了全州民主党人的欢欣鼓舞，但你很难找到比巴克利更高兴的人了。

He'd been waiting for this day nearly his entire life.

他几乎一生都在等待这一天。

Is New Hampshire going to become a permanent democratic state?

新罕布什尔州会成为永久民主州吗？

That makes every phone call, every envelope that I've stuffed, every sign that I've put up, every single bit of that over the last 40 years, absolutely worth it.

这使得我在过去 40 年里的每一个电话、我装的每一个信封、我张贴的每一个标牌、每一个细节都绝对值得。

Because I feel this is what this has all been for.

因为我觉得这就是这一切的目的。

Buckley is a tall, blond, round-faced guy who doesn't like the outdoors and has the figure to prove it.

巴克利是一个身材高大、金发碧眼、圆脸的家伙，他不喜欢户外活动，但他的身材证明了这一点。

He's either called an operative or a hack, depending on your point of view.

他要么被称为特工，要么被称为黑客，这取决于你的观点。

Whatever he does, he's good at it.

无论他做什么，他都擅长。

And by now he should be.

现在他应该是了。

He says he's been obsessed by politics since third grade.

他说他从三年级起就对政治着迷。

By the time he was 14, he made his mother volunteer to run his town's Democratic committee, a job he was actually already doing, but was too young to have officially.

当他 14 岁时，他让母亲自愿担任镇上的民主党委员会的负责人，他实际上已经在做这项工作，但当时还太年轻，无法正式担任。

Because he was 14.

因为他14岁了。

And since then, he's been deep in political campaigns all the time.

从那时起，他就一直深入参与政治竞选活动。

Either running himself-- he was a state rep for 18 years-- or getting other people elected.

要么自己参选（他担任州代表长达 18 年），要么让其他人当选。

He knows the stats on hundreds of Democrats around the state.

他知道全州数百名民主党人的统计数据。

I found this out at a fundraiser when I casually asked him the name of the woman we'd just been talking to.

我是在一次筹款活动中偶然问他我们刚才谈话的那个女人的名字时发现了这一点。

Ellie Carpenito.

埃莉·卡佩尼托。

Sarah Koenig Ellie Carpenito.

莎拉·科尼格·埃莉·卡佩尼托。

Yep.

是的。

From Salem.

来自塞勒姆。

15 Scully Square, 03079.

15 斯卡利广场，03079。

And how do you know that?

你怎么知道的？

Raymond Buckley I remember most people's address and phone numbers and emails.

Raymond Buckley 我记得大多数人的地址、电话号码和电子邮件。

That's--

那是——

You do?

你知道吗？

Raymond Buckley Some of these people I've been mailing-- I've either hand addressed or put labels for 20, 30 years on an envelope.

雷蒙德·巴克利（Raymond Buckley）：我一直在给其中一些人邮寄信件——20、30年来，我要么亲手写地址，要么在信封上贴标签。

You know?

你知道？

What's her address?

她的地址是什么？

Raymond Buckley Maggie Lozano?

雷蒙德·巴克利 玛吉·洛扎诺？

417 Walnut Street, Manchester, New Hampshire.

新罕布什尔州曼彻斯特核桃街 417 号。

He's probably been to a lot of their houses, too.

他可能也去过他们的很多房子。

New Hampshire is tiny, about a million people.

新罕布什尔州很小，大约有一百万人。

So everybody knows everybody for years back.

所以很多年前每个人都认识每个人。

Especially, it seems, in the political world.

看起来尤其是在政治领域。

And for Buckley, this decades-long attention to who's who paid off in November's victories.

对于巴克利来说，几十年来对谁是谁的关注在十一月的胜利中得到了回报。

A few years ago, the Senate Democrats asked him to run their Political Action Committee.

几年前，参议院民主党人请他管理他们的政治行动委员会。

He said yes, but only if they'd sign on to what a lot of people thought was a pipe dream.

他说可以，但前提是他们愿意签署这个被很多人认为是白日梦的协议。

To not only keep the eight seats they had, but to take a majority of the Senate.

不仅要保住他们所拥有的八个席位，还要获得参议院的多数席位。

He studied 20 years' worth of financial records.

他研究了 20 年的财务记录。

He invented a new fundraising strategy.

他发明了一种新的筹款策略。

And he forced safe candidates, the incumbents, to help the new candidates.

他还强迫安全的候选人、现任者帮助新候选人。

It worked.

它起作用了。

They took the Senate and helped Democrats all the way down the ticket.

他们拿下了参议院，并帮助民主党一路领先。

Now Buckley wanted to be chairman of the party.

现在巴克利想成为该党的主席。

He wanted to be the guy to make sure New Hampshire stayed democratic for good.

他想成为确保新罕布什尔州永远保持民主的人。

It's an elected position and it only took two weeks for Buckley to get more than a 140 of the 196 committee members to promise they'd vote for him, including all the state's most influential Democrats.

这是一个民选职位，巴克利只花了两周时间就让 196 名委员会成员中的 140 多名成员承诺投票给他，其中包括该州所有最有影响力的民主党人。

But three months before the vote, Buckley was accused of one of the worst things a person can be accused of.

但在投票前三个月，巴克利被指控犯有一个人可以被指控的最糟糕的事情之一。

Something so ugly and dark that almost no one accused of it ever really shakes it, guilty or not.

这是一种如此丑陋和黑暗的东西，几乎没有人被指控过，无论是否有罪，都不会真正动摇它。

It threatened to ruin not just his career, but his life.

这不仅会毁掉他的职业生涯，还会毁掉他的生活。

We've all seen this story from a distance.

我们都从远处看过这个故事。

The politician accused, the public outcry, embattled press conferences, TV crews tailing a haunted official on his way to a waiting car.

被指控的政客、公众的强烈抗议、四面楚歌的新闻发布会、电视台工作人员在一名闹鬼的官员走向一辆等候的汽车的路上尾随他。

And that's all we get.

这就是我们得到的全部。

We rarely get to hear what happens offstage.

我们很少听到台下发生的事情。

For Ray Buckley, the hardest thing was getting his mind around what the accusation meant.

对于雷·巴克利来说，最困难的事情是理清指控的含义。

That his dream job, the job he'd already locked up, had suddenly vanished.

他梦想的工作，他已经锁定的工作，突然消失了。

And that was part of the horror during the ordeal.

这就是磨难期间恐怖的一部分。

To suddenly be benched, at a time that is going to be a watershed time for our party, was just-- it's not just the public humiliation, it's not just all of the other stuff of having all these enormous legal bills.

在我们党的一个分水岭时刻突然被坐上替补席，这不仅仅是公开的羞辱，也不仅仅是所有这些巨额法律费用的其他事情。

It was, I'd just spent 40 years working towards this, and it's gone.

是的，我刚刚花了 40 年的时间来实现这个目标，但它已经消失了。

The whole thing started with another politician.

整件事是从另一位政客开始的。

A guy named Steve Vaillancourt.

一个名叫史蒂夫·瓦扬古的人。

Vaillancourt is a Republican state representative from Manchester.

瓦扬古是来自曼彻斯特的共和党州代表。

An eccentric, and a viper when provoked.

性格古怪，被激怒时就是毒蛇。

And he's often provoked.

而且他经常被激怒。

I once wrote a profile of him for the Concord Monitor newspaper, in which a colleague affectionately compared him to nuclear waste.

我曾经为《Concord Monitor》报纸写过一篇关于他的简介，其中一位同事亲切地把他比作核废料。

He sometimes harmed the very causes he fought for, legalized gambling, legalized marijuana, abolishing the death penalty.

他有时会损害他所奋斗的事业，使赌博合法化，使大麻合法化，废除死刑。

He's in perpetual motion and he's also obsessive.

他永远在运动，而且他也很着迷。

He once wrote a book of 5,000 trivia questions about the OJ Simpson trial.

他曾经写过一本关于 OJ 辛普森审判的 5,000 个琐事问题的书。

To give you some sense of his frantic style, he's got his own public access TV show called More Politically Alert .

为了让您了解他疯狂的风格，他有自己的公共电视节目，名为“更多政治警惕”。

And the unedited rawness of it is kind of remarkable.

它未经编辑的原始性是令人惊叹的。

Here he's talking about the committee he has just been assigned to in the Legislature, Environment and Agriculture.

他在这里谈论的是他刚刚被分配到立法机关、环境和农业委员会。

What he wanted was the Finance Committee, and he doesn't disguise that.

他想要的是财务委员会，他并没有掩饰这一点。

We have the introduction of Steve Taylor, the Department of Agriculture chairman came in.

我们请农业部主席史蒂夫·泰勒进来。

We make almost a billion dollars a year out of agriculture in this state, and about half of that comes from flowers and garden supplies and things like that.

在这个州，我们每年从农业中赚取近十亿美元，其中大约一半来自花卉和园艺用品等。

It's going to be a fun year on the Agriculture Committee, not that I deserve to be on Finance, although Ben Baroody, and Tom Fahey, junior leader column, said that I was much better suited for finance than him.

今年在农业委员会将是有趣的一年，但这并不是说我应该在金融领域工作，尽管本·巴鲁迪和初级领导专栏汤姆·费伊说我比他更适合金融领域。

And most other people say I'm intelligent.

大多数人都说我很聪明。

All the media this week has been saying, you're one of the most intelligent people around.

本周所有媒体都在说，你是周围最聪明的人之一。

Well I've never claimed to be intelligent, or unintelligent, I've just claimed to be what I am, a meat eater.

好吧，我从来没有声称自己聪明或不聪明，我只是声称我就是肉食者。

[LAUGHTER] Oh my god.

[笑声] 天啊。

It's all like this.

都是这样的。

A dazzling stream of consciousness that's like an unfiltered glimpse into his brain, and it's also completely entertaining.

耀眼的意识流就像是对他大脑的未经过滤的一瞥，而且也非常有趣。

Vaillancourt is theatrical, but he's also smart, so his colleagues don't tune him out completely.

瓦扬古很戏剧化，但他也很聪明，所以他的同事并没有完全忽视他。

And it was on his show, in early January, that he dropped this little bomb about the chairman's race.

正是在一月初的节目中，他投下了关于主席竞选的小炸弹。

That front runner, Ray Buckley, will not win as the Democratic party chairman in balloting later in January.

领先者雷·巴克利 (Ray Buckley) 在 1 月底的投票中不会赢得民主党主席职位。

You heard it here first, a shoe will drop.

你首先在这里听到的，一只鞋子会掉下来。

Later in the show, he cues a swirly background, and repeats this forecast about Buckley, in the looser Vaillancourt style.

在节目的后期，他暗示了一个漩涡背景，并以更宽松的瓦扬古风格重复了对巴克利的预测。

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇，哇，哇。

I'm getting dizzy.

我头晕了。

Watch out, or Ray Buckley will say I'm drooling.

小心点，不然雷·巴克利会说我流口水了。

Hey Ray-bo, how you doing?

嘿雷博，你好吗？

You are not going to be Chairman of the Democratic party, we predict.

我们预测你不会成为民主党主席。

Vaillancourt knew a shoe would drop in the chairman's race, because he had already dropped it.

瓦扬古知道在主席竞选中会有一只鞋子掉下来，因为他已经掉了它。

He had written a letter to governor John Lynch.

他给州长约翰·林奇写了一封信。

"Raymond Buckley," he wrote, "has a long history with kiddie pornography.

“雷蒙德·巴克利，”他写道，“与儿童色情制品有着悠久的历史。

I know for a fact that Mr. Buckley used to smuggle kiddie porn from Amsterdam and Denmark into the United States inside Newsweek and other magazines.

我知道巴克利先生曾经在《新闻周刊》和其他杂志上将儿童色情内容从阿姆斯特丹和丹麦走私到美国。

You could not enter his room without stepping over kiddie porn, strewn on the floor," the letter said.

你不能进入他的房间，除非踩过散落在地板上的儿童色情片，”信中说。

Someone leaked the letter to the TV news and, once it got out, it was huge.

有人将这封信泄露给了电视新闻，消息一经传出，引起了巨大的轰动。

Sources tell News 9 , a fellow politician and former friend of Buckley's--

消息人士告诉 News 9，巴克利的政治同僚和前朋友——

Well, Jen and Tom, this is the letter.

好吧，珍和汤姆，这就是信。

It's dated December 26, it's a one-pager, written by state representative Steve Vaillancourt.

这是一份单页纸，日期为 12 月 26 日，由州代表 Steve Vaillancourt 撰写。

It accuses Buckley of being attracted to boys aged four through nine.

它指责巴克利被四岁到九岁的男孩所吸引。

It talks about a computer purchased by the Manchester City Democrats in 1998, and allegedly used by Buckley to surf the Internet for child porn.

它讲述了曼城民主党于 1998 年购买的一台电脑，据称巴克利用它来上网浏览儿童色情内容。

Buckley emphatically denies the allegations, but he has not responded to repeated attempts for interviews.

巴克利断然否认这些指控，但他没有回应多次采访尝试。

The investigation--

调查结果——

Vaillancourt ended the letter by saying "I can only assume that even a cursory investigation will convince you that Mr. Buckley is not the person Democrats, or New Hampshire, want in a leadership position." The man he sent the letter to, Governor Lynch, has made it a priority to get tougher prison sentences for child predators.

瓦扬古特在信的最后说道：“我只能假设，即使是一项粗略的调查也会让你相信巴克利先生不是民主党或新罕布什尔州想要担任领导职务的人。”他写信给的林奇州长已将对儿童掠夺者判处更严厉的刑罚作为首要任务。

And Vaillancourt almost dared him to ignore the letter.

瓦扬古几乎怂恿他不要理会这封信。

And he hit the most sensitive political issue in the state.

他触及了该州最敏感的政治问题。

New Hampshire's status as the first place to hold presidential primaries every four years.

新罕布什尔州是第一个每四年举行一次总统初选的地方。

Last summer, Nevada moved its caucus ahead of New Hampshire's primary, and New Hampshire officials have been freaking out ever since.

去年夏天，内华达州在新罕布什尔州初选之前提前举行了党团会议，从那时起，新罕布什尔州的官员们就一直惊慌失措。

A scandal at the top of the party could give presidential candidates pause.

党内高层的丑闻可能会让总统候选人犹豫不决。

Would they really want to pose for pictures with an accused pervert?

他们真的想与被指控的变态者合影吗？

And might give other states ammunition for arguing that New Hampshire shouldn't be first anymore.

并且可能会给其他州争论新罕布什尔州不应该再成为第一的理由。

So Governor Lynch responded as Vaillancourt must have known he would.

因此，林奇州长做出了回应，瓦扬古一定知道他会这么做。

There were serious allegations made by a state representative, which is why we immediately forwarded the letter to the Department of Justice, and they are managing the situation now.

州代表提出了严重指控，这就是为什么我们立即将这封信转发给司法部，他们现在正在处理这一情况。

And this was the other thing Lynch said.

这是林奇说的另一件事。

Well, you know, I didn't and I don't believe that while this matter is pending he should be running for state party chair.

嗯，你知道，我没有，我也不相信，在这件事悬而未决的同时，他应该竞选州党主席。

Vaillancourt began pushing his case in public.

瓦扬古开始公开推动他的案件。

He held an interminable press conference.

他召开了一场无休无止的新闻发布会。

In the first two and a half minutes, he somehow managed to weave together Julius Caesar, Berlin, Germany, the San Diego Chargers and Catherine the Great.

在前两分半钟里，他设法将凯撒大帝、德国柏林、圣地亚哥闪电队和叶卡捷琳娜大帝编织在一起。

But he also had moments of clarity.

但他也有清醒的时刻。

I don't need to be here.

我不需要在这里。

So if you ask me, is this going to ruin your career, Representative Vaillancourt, and I've been asked that often.

因此，如果你问我，这会毁掉你的职业生涯吗，瓦扬古议员，我经常被问到。

Ruin my career?

毁了我的职业生涯？

Ruin a $100 a year job?

毁掉一份年薪 100 美元的工作？

Ruin my reputation?

毁了我的名声？

I say what I feel because I believe somebody has to step forward and tell the truth.

我说出我的感受，因为我相信必须有人站出来说出真相。

I'm not going to come off looking like a good guy no matter what happens, somebody that turns in a friend.

无论发生什么，我都不会表现得像一个好人，一个交出朋友的人。

But if you believe me, then you've got to believe that at least a dozen, maybe two dozen, maybe more, have known about this for a long time.

但如果你相信我，那么你就必须相信，至少有一打，也许两打，也许更多，很长时间以来都知道这件事。

If you believe me.

如果你相信我的话。

And as I say, don't believe me if you don't want to, but I do not lie.

正如我所说，如果你不愿意就不要相信我，但我不会说谎。

I do exaggerate, occasionally I do comedy.

我确实夸张，偶尔也演喜剧。

But I never lie.

但我从不说谎。

I do tend to exaggerate.

我确实倾向于夸大其词。

And most of the things I've said I don't have proof about, but I think I have enough information so that if you don't want to believe me, you better think twice about not believing me.

我所说的大部分事情我都没有证据，但我想我有足够的信息，所以如果你不想相信我，你最好三思而后行，不相信我。

I'm looking, reading a letter that my first response is, boy, to have written this sort of a letter, he's got to really hate you.

我正在看、读一封信，我的第一反应是，孩子，写了这样的信，他一定很恨你。

Before it made the TV news, before it made the paper, Ray Buckley had gotten a knock at his office door, and two friends had sat him down in a conference room and showed him the letter.

在这封信登上电视新闻、登上报纸之前，雷·巴克利的办公室门被人敲响，两个朋友让他在会议室坐下，给他看了这封信。

And then I just, I was kind of thinking of him and saying, I don't think he's thought this through.

然后我只是想他并说，我认为他没有考虑清楚这一点。

I don't think he realizes what he just did.

我认为他没有意识到自己刚刚做了什么。

And so we went through the letter, step by step, and it was like, there's no truth to any of this.

所以我们一步一步地看完了这封信，感觉这一切都没有事实依据。

There's nobody that's going to corroborate any of this.

没有人会证实这一点。

How could anyone take this letter seriously?

怎么会有人认真对待这封信呢？

His friends assured him the governor was taking it seriously, and that he'd rescinded his support for Buckley's candidacy.

他的朋友向他保证，州长正在认真对待这件事，并且他已经取消了对巴克利候选人资格的支持。

Since he's the most important Democrat in the state, their top elected official, this was a big deal.

由于他是该州最重要的民主党人，也是他们的最高民选官员，所以这是一件大事。

As was the fact that he publicly called for Buckley to withdraw.

事实上，他公开呼吁巴克利退出。

But Buckley thought, well, it's such nonsense, it'll blow over.

但巴克利想，好吧，这真是无稽之谈，它会过去的。

I was thinking, well it's just going to take a couple days, it's going to be over with by the end of the week and it probably might not even ever make the papers.

我在想，好吧，这只需要几天的时间，到本周末就会结束，而且可能永远不会出现在报纸上。

Well, I went out of the meeting and, at this point, it's now after 5:00.

嗯，我离开了会议，此时已经是 5:00 以后了。

I went home.

我回家了。

Are you alone?

你一个人吗？

Raymond Buckley Yeah.

雷蒙德·巴克利 是的。

I sorted socks.

我整理了袜子。

At that point, I didn't want to upset my family, so I didn't want to call them.

那时，我不想让家人不高兴，所以我不想给他们打电话。

I couldn't talk to any of my immediate friends, in case they were going to be called in for questioning.

我无法与我的任何亲密朋友交谈，以防他们被叫来接受审问。

So I had nobody to talk to.

所以我没有人可以说话。

So I remembered that I really hadn't organized my sock drawer for a while, and I brought them all in, and dumped them on the couch and I sat there, watching TV and matched socks.

所以我想起我确实有一段时间没有整理我的袜子抽屉了，我把它们全都放进去，然后把它们倒在沙发上，然后我坐在那里，看电视并搭配袜子。

It sounds calming, but Buckley says his mind was racing.

这听起来很平静，但巴克利说他的思绪在飞速运转。

He's the oldest of nine children and he's close with his parents and step-parents.

他是九个孩子中最大的一个，与父母和继父母关系密切。

And he was horrified at the idea that they would all be drawn into this somehow.

一想到他们都会以某种方式卷入其中，他就感到震惊。

And what was going to happen to his career?

他的职业生涯将会发生什么？

And how would he pay for the lawyer?

他如何支付律师费？

And how should he act right this minute?

而此时他应该怎样做才是正确的呢？

He started to get a little paranoid.

他开始变得有点偏执。

You know, are the police going to show up at my door tonight?

你知道吗，今晚警察会出现在我家门口吗？

So, don't move anything.

所以，不要动任何东西。

I watched one too many TV shows, I guess.

我想我看太多电视节目了。

I'm thinking they're going to say, oh, if you moved that book, and so there's no dust there.

我想他们会说，哦，如果你移动了那本书，那么那里就没有灰尘了。

I didn't dare touch anything in my house.

我不敢碰家里的任何东西。

I literally didn't even throw out my trash for the first couple weeks.

最初几周我什至没有扔垃圾。

I put it in my basement, so I could say, nothing has left this house.

我把它放在我的地下室，所以我可以说，这所房子什么也没有留下。

Here's my trash.

这是我的垃圾。

I didn't clean out my car.

我没有清理我的车。

Because I was afraid that someone would see me taking something out of my car and throwing it away.

因为我害怕有人看到我从车里拿出东西然后扔掉。

And I would be accused of throwing something out.

我会被指责扔掉一些东西。

So my car through the whole ordeal, just became increasingly filled with random stuff.

所以我的车经历了整个磨难，只是变得越来越充满随机的东西。

There were Christmas gifts that I just hadn't taken out of the car yet.

我还没有从车里拿出圣诞礼物。

Your fear and-- the first night, I look over at the pictures of my 10 nieces and six nephews.

你的恐惧——第一天晚上，我看了我 10 个侄女和 6 个侄子的照片。

It was like, are they going to think that odd that I have my nieces and nephews on my living room wall?

就像，他们会觉得我的客厅墙上挂着我的侄女和侄子很奇怪吗？

Do other uncles have their nieces and nephews?

其他叔叔有他们的侄女和侄子吗？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Does that imply something ugly?

这是否暗示着一些丑陋的事情？

He couldn't sleep.

他无法入睡。

And for the first time in his life, he lost his appetite.

他有生以来第一次失去了胃口。

Over the next two months he'd lose 40 pounds.

在接下来的两个月里，他减掉了 40 磅。

He'd lie awake at 4:00 in the morning and obsess, so he tried sleeping pills, which didn't really help.

他会在凌晨 4:00 醒来并沉迷其中，因此他尝试服用安眠药，但效果并不明显。

Of course, he had to tell his parents that soon all their friends were going to see their son accused of kiddie porn in the news.

当然，他必须告诉他的父母，很快他们所有的朋友都会在新闻中看到他们的儿子被指控儿童色情。

He says this isn't something anyone wishes on their parents.

他说这不是任何人希望他们的父母做的事情。

It's like they're being punished, too.

他们好像也受到了惩罚。

His family was still recovering from the death of his 11-year-old niece, who died of cystic fibrosis.

他 11 岁的侄女死于囊性纤维化，他的家人仍在恢复中。

He says at least when something like that happens, family friends know how to react.

他说至少当类似的事情发生时，家人朋友知道如何反应。

People, they would offer my parents and my siblings or whatever, love and support.

人们，他们会给我的父母和我的兄弟姐妹或其他什么人，爱和支持。

People knew how to show that sort of support to a family that's grieving.

人们知道如何向悲伤的家庭表示支持。

It's like it's hard, but you know what to say.

好像很难，但你知道该说什么。

Exactly.

确切地。

Exactly.

确切地。

This is not something that you naturally know whether to bring it up, not to bring it up.

这不是你自然知道该提还是不提的事情。

It is a whole different conversation of like, oh, isn't this horrible, this is happening to Raymond.

这是一场完全不同的对话，就像，哦，这不是太可怕了吗，这发生在雷蒙德身上。

And knowing, deep down, that a person is like, oh, this is really-- it just goes down a road that you don't go when you're showing your sympathy towards a grieving family.

在内心深处知道，一个人就像，哦，这真的是——当你对一个悲伤的家庭表示同情时，它只是走上了一条你不会走的路。

Once the news hit, Buckley figured out pretty quickly that the investigation would take weeks, not days, and he finally did what the governor wanted.

消息传出后，巴克利很快就意识到调查需要几周而不是几天的时间，他最终按照州长的要求做了。

He pulled out of the chairman's race.

他退出了主席竞选。

And all this time, of course, he had stuff to do.

当然，这段时间他都有事情要做。

He was head of the Manchester City Democrats, vice chair the New Hampshire Democratic Party, chairman of the Eastern Region of the DNC, a member of its executive committee.

他曾任曼城民主党党魁、新罕布什尔州民主党副主席、民主党全国委员会东部区主席、执行委员会成员。

He was vice president the state Chairs Association, and a board member of the National Stonewall Democrats.

他曾担任州主席协会副主席和全国石墙民主党董事会成员。

And he still had a day job, as executive director of the Senate Democratic Caucus.

他仍然有一份日常工作，担任参议院民主党核心小组的执行主任。

He had to go to work.

他必须去上班。

And all day long he's talking to people who are reading these headlines.

他整天都在和阅读这些头条新闻的人交谈。

But for Buckley one advantage of doing politics in such a small place, is that everybody knew him.

但对巴克利来说，在如此小的地方从事政治活动的一个好处是每个人都认识他。

And they also knew Vaillancourt, and they knew the history between them.

他们也了解瓦扬古，也了解他们之间的历史。

And most people reacted to the charges with skepticism.

大多数人对这些指控都持怀疑态度。

Even the state's most notoriously conservative newspaper, the Union Leader , said, quote, "This is nothing more than a suspect allegation, and it should be treated as such." The fact that Vaillancourt admitted having no proof made headlines.

就连该州最臭名昭著的保守派报纸《工会领袖》也表示，“这只不过是一项可疑的指控，应该如此对待。”瓦扬古承认没有证据这一事实成为头条新闻。

No political leaders at the state level, Republican or Democrat, stood by Vaillancourt, who told me that many people in the gay community did come to him privately, saying they believed him, even if not many public figures did.

州一级的政治领导人，无论是共和党还是民主党，都没有支持瓦扬古，他告诉我，同性恋群体中的许多人确实私下来找他，说他们相信他，即使没有多少公众人物这样做。

I was vilified, but I expected to be vilified.

我被辱骂了，但我也预料到会被辱骂。

People that I had talked to, friends of mine in advance, said, don't do this, it's going to be down to your detriment.

与我交谈过的人，我事先的朋友，说，不要这样做，这会对你造成损害。

I decided that to get my conscience clear once and for all, I would put it out there no matter what it cost me.

我决定，为了一劳永逸地问清自己的良心，无论付出什么代价，我都会把它放在那里。

Meanwhile, Buckley's friends and allies, it was almost as if they started a campaign to keep Buckley from curling up into a fetal position and never leaving his house.

与此同时，巴克利的朋友和盟友，几乎就像他们发起了一场运动，阻止巴克利蜷缩成胎儿的姿势，永远不要离开他的房子。

This is Donna Soucy, who works for the Senate Democrats.

我是唐娜·苏西，为参议院民主党工作。

Most importantly in the beginning, I was the one who made him just go to public events, and just reach out.

最重要的是，一开始，我是那个让他去参加公共活动并伸出援手的人。

Kathy Sullivan was chairwoman of the state party at the time.

凯西·沙利文当时是该州的主席。

A couple of us said to Raymond, you are going to the inauguration.

我们几个人对雷蒙德说，你要去参加就职典礼。

It's important for you to be out there.

对你来说，走出去很重要。

Judy Reardon, former Chief of Staff for a previous governor.

朱迪·里尔登 (Judy Reardon)，前任州长的幕僚长。

You know, be out there.

你知道，出去吧。

Don't not go to things.

不要不去事。

He went to the governor's Inaugural Ball the next day after it had broken publicly.

州长就职舞会公开举行后的第二天，他就参加了。

And he said, again, they're not going to want me there.

他再次说，他们不会想要我在那里。

And we said, no, you are going to the Inaugural Ball because you have to show people that you're not hiding, you have nothing to be ashamed of, that this is all crap.

我们说，不，你要去参加就职舞会，因为你必须向人们表明你没有隐藏，你没有什么可羞耻的，这都是垃圾。

All his friends operated from this notion, that it was all crap.

他所有的朋友都抱着这样的想法：这都是垃圾。

And they were confident about that because this was just the latest skirmish between Vaillancourt and Buckley.

他们对此充满信心，因为这只是瓦扬古和巴克利之间最近的一次小冲突。

For the last 10 years or so, Vaillancourt has had it out for Ray Buckley for reasons that only Vaillancourt knows.

在过去十年左右的时间里，瓦扬古一直在为雷·巴克利而苦苦挣扎，原因只有瓦扬古知道。

I've asked and asked, and no one seems to have the answer.

我问了又问，似乎没有人能回答。

Or at least admits they do.

或者至少承认他们确实如此。

There are theories.

有一些理论。

Unrequited love, chief among them.

单相思，其中最主要的。

They're both gay, but both men swear there's never been a romantic or sexual moment between them.

他们都是同性恋，但两人都发誓他们之间从未有过浪漫或性的时刻。

And it's convincing when they say that.

当他们这么说时，就很有说服力。

They make that face you might make when you imagine your parents in bed.

当你想象你的父母躺在床上时，他们的表情就像你可能会做的那样。

Their friends second the denials.

他们的朋友也予以否认。

Katherine Rogers has known them both for decades.

凯瑟琳·罗杰斯认识他们几十年了。

And she makes that same face.

她也做出同样的表情。

Was he in love with Raymond Buckley.

他爱上了雷蒙德·巴克利吗？

Like, why--?

比如，为什么——？

Oh god, no. And I've seen it in print, you know, maybe there was some relationship.

天哪，不。我在印刷品上看到过它，你知道，也许有某种关系。

No. There was never anything with the two of them.

不，他们两个从来没有发生过任何事情。

But Buckley rented a room in Vaillancourt's house for 16 years, and they were close friends.

但巴克利在瓦扬库尔的家里租了一个房间长达16年，他们是亲密的朋友。

They hung out all the time, and travelled together.

他们总是一起出去玩，一起旅行。

They both talk about taking care of each other when one was sick or depressed.

他们都谈到当一个人生病或沮丧时要互相照顾。

Vaillancourt used to be painfully shy, and Kathy Rogers remembers trying to lure him out of his room with M&Ms, ET style.

Vaillancourt 曾经非常害羞，凯西·罗杰斯 (Kathy Rogers) 记得曾试图用 ET 风格的 M&M 巧克力引诱他离开房间。

But Buckley encouraged him to run for the House, and he did.

但巴克利鼓励他竞选众议院议员，他也这么做了。

Back then, Vaillancourt was a Democrat.

当时，瓦扬古是民主党人。

And once he was elected, he was quickly promoted to leadership positions because he was talented.

而他一当选，就因为才华横溢，很快就被提拔到领导岗位。

But so was Buckley.

但巴克利也是如此。

He'd become the Democratic Whip, and Vaillancourt was furious.

他成为了民主党党鞭，瓦扬古非常愤怒。

This is Peter Burling.

这是彼得·伯林。

He was House Democratic Leader back then, and he says Vaillancourt behaved so badly after that, attacking Buckley, attacking him, that he had to demote him.

他当时是众议院民主党领袖，他说瓦扬古在那之后表现得非常糟糕，攻击巴克利，攻击他，以至于他不得不将他降职。

You know, on some level, as I look at these episodes over the last 14 years, I cannot help feeling a profound sense of sadness for Mr. Vaillancourt.

你知道，在某种程度上，当我回顾过去14年来的这些事件时，我不禁为瓦扬古先生感到深深的悲伤。

It is clear that there is a whole level of competitive anxiety, shall we say, that Ray Buckley's success brings out in Mr. Vaillancourt.

很明显，我们可以说，雷·巴克利的成功在瓦扬古先生身上表现出了一种整体水平的竞争焦虑。

After that demotion, Vaillancourt started to break with the party.

降职后，瓦扬古开始与该党决裂。

Around that same time, he kicked Buckley out of his house, and they went to court over claims of unpaid rent.

大约在同一时间，他把巴克利赶出了家门，他们因拖欠租金而上了法庭。

It wasn't long before Vaillancourt became a Republican.

不久之后，瓦扬古就成为了共和党人。

And all this stuff was very public.

所有这些事情都是非常公开的。

Not only because of the smallness of the place, because of public access TV in Manchester.

不仅因为这个地方很小，还因为曼彻斯特有公共电视。

Politics in that city, in particular, as Peter Burling said to me, is of the whack and slash variety.

正如彼得·伯林对我所说，那个城市的政治尤其是残酷的。

This plays out in about half a dozen political TV shows, which can get mean.

这种情况在大约六个政治电视节目中上演，这可能会变得很刻薄。

And Buckley is no innocent here.

巴克利在这里并不无辜。

He can be refined and diplomatic, attending small private gatherings with Barack Obama or John Edwards, but he also gets nasty.

他可以表现得文雅而圆滑，与巴拉克·奥巴马(Barack Obama)或约翰·爱德华兹(John Edwards)一起参加小型私人聚会，但他也变得令人讨厌。

That's his job as a party operative.

这是他作为党员的工作。

He's like James Carville.

他就像詹姆斯·卡维尔。

On his show, In the Know , he's called other politicians half-witted and freakish, suggested they were mildly retarded, or plastered.

在他的节目《In the Know》中，他称其他政客愚笨、怪异，暗示他们有轻度弱智，或者是糊涂虫。

And just a few months before Vaillancourt sent his letter to the governor, Buckley went after him.

就在瓦扬古向州长寄信的几个月前，巴克利开始追捕他。

Do you want this guy representing you?

你想要这个人代表你吗？

Do you want your family's reputation stained by having this guy, who absolutely gets unhinged, has no ability to really control his behavior, his mouth, and his antics?

你想让这个完全精神错乱、没有能力真正控制自己的行为、嘴巴和滑稽动作的家伙玷污你家人的声誉吗？

So when Vaillancourt made his accusation, Buckley's friends dismissed the whole thing as an act of revenge.

因此，当瓦扬古提出指控时，巴克利的朋友们将整件事视为报复行为。

But the cops didn't see it that way.

但警察并不这么看。

They searched for Buckley's old computer.

他们搜查了巴克利的旧电脑。

They questioned more than a dozen people, many of whom Vaillancourt said would corroborate his claims.

他们询问了十几个人，瓦扬古表示，其中许多人证实了他的说法。

And Vaillancourt kept on.

瓦扬古继续前行。

He wanted to take a lie detector test, on TV if necessary.

他想接受测谎仪测试，如有必要，还可以在电视上进行测试。

He made up a set of polygraph questions, complete with his answers.

他提出了一套测谎仪问题并附上了他的答案。

One of which was, "Did you and Mr. Buckley ever have a sexual relationship.

其中之一是，“你和巴克利先生有过性关系吗？

Answer: No." And handed it around.

回答：不。”并把它递了过去。

He offered to be hypnotized, to take phenobarbital.

他提出接受催眠，服用苯巴比妥。

When I asked him about the various theories people have for why he'd written his letter, Vaillancourt said his reason was simply to tell the truth.

当我问他人们对他写这封信的原因有什么不同的看法时，瓦扬古说他的原因很简单，就是要说出真相。

There was no jealousy, no vendetta.

没有嫉妒，没有仇杀。

Wipe that out of your mind.

把它从你的脑海中抹去。

There are three people I really hate in the world.

世界上我真正讨厌的人只有三个。

Ray Buckley is not one of them.

雷·巴克利不是其中之一。

In fact, I admire Ray Buckley for being a good vegetarian, and for doing a lot of good things.

事实上，我很钦佩雷·巴克利（Ray Buckley），他是一名优秀的素食主义者，并且做了很多好事。

So that is just hogwash.

所以这只是废话。

Peter Burling is one of the people I hate most in the world, and he's the one that developed that hogwash.

彼得·伯林是我在世界上最讨厌的人之一，也是他发明了这种废话。

Because what he'll say is you have professional jealousy.

因为他会说你有职业嫉妒心。

I've just explained to you, I have no professional jealousy.

我刚才已经向你解释过，我没有职业嫉妒心。

I have no desire to move up in the political ranks.

我无意在政治上晋升。

I have a desire to promote my philosophy of government, get out of my back, out of my bed and out of my wallet.

我渴望宣扬我的政府理念，摆脱困境，摆脱困境，摆脱钱包。

Weeks passed.

几周过去了。

And then a second set of charges came out against Buckley.

然后巴克利又受到了第二项指控。

This time, an unnamed former party staffer, calling himself a concerned Democrat, said Buckley was quote "Vulgar, disgraceful and indecent in the workplace." The person said his daily behavior included quote, "Sexually harassing male staffers, and blacklisting staffers that were not receptive to his sexual remarks or advances."

这次，一位不愿透露姓名的前党内工作人员自称是一名忧心忡忡的民主党人，表示巴克利的言论“在工作场所粗俗、可耻和不雅”。该人士表示，他的日常行为包括“对男性员工进行性骚扰，并将不接受他的性言论或性挑逗的员工列入黑名单”。

Buckley was floored.

巴克利被击倒了。

He prides himself on getting young people interested in politics, the way he was.

他为自己让年轻人对政治产生兴趣而感到自豪，就像他一样。

And he's got many proteges as proof.

他有很多门生作为证明。

But Buckley can be really raunchy.

但巴克利确实很不修边幅。

He's quick to make a dick joke.

他很快就开起了玩笑。

And so it's easy to see how he could offend someone.

所以很容易看出他如何冒犯某人。

The Senate Democrats hired a lawyer to investigate, and Buckley was cleared of any wrongdoing.

参议院民主党聘请了一名律师进行调查，巴克利被证明没有任何不当行为。

But still, it had made the papers, and the piling on was just exhausting.

但尽管如此，它还是上了报纸，堆积如山实在令人筋疲力尽。

Part of you is like, I don't want to talk about this anymore.

你的一部分会想，我不想再谈论这个了。

I just want to get my life back.

我只想找回我的生活。

Then you realize that, wow, every time you've ever read of something even remotely similar to this happening to someone, you thought you understood what they were going through.

然后你意识到，哇，每当你读到与某人发生的事情哪怕有一点相似的事情时，你都会认为你理解他们正在经历的事情。

And, oh boy, you do not.

而且，天哪，你不知道。

And you do not.

而你却没有。

What was the most surprising part, just talk about that.

最令人惊讶的部分是什么，就谈谈吧。

What was the thing you hadn't anticipated or couldn't have imagined?

有哪些事情是你没有预料到或无法想象的？

The feeling that you're not in control of your life.

感觉自己无法掌控自己的生活。

That was probably the most difficult thing through the whole ordeal is that I wasn't in charge of my life.

整个磨难中最困难的事情可能是我无法掌控自己的生活。

And as someone who, starting as a very small child, seemed to think that they were, at least, in control of me.

作为一个从很小的孩子开始，似乎就认为他们至少可以控制我的人。

That I was at the mercy of how people thought of me.

我受制于人们对我的看法。

I was at the mercy-- although, my entire life, obviously, was based on other people voting for me for either a party office or for an elective office and so my entire life has been at the mercy of other people and what they thought of me.

我受到了摆布——尽管，显然，我的整个生活都是基于其他人投票给我担任党内职务或选举产生的公职，因此我的整个生活都受到其他人和他们对我的看法的摆布。

But this was at a different level.

但这是在不同的层面上。

Buckley became unsure.

巴克利变得不确定。

Not just about whether to throw out his trash, but unsure in the most basic way.

不仅是要不要扔垃圾，连最基本的方式都不确定。

You just run through everything.

你只是经历了一切。

It's like, was this a good choice for your life?

就像，这对你的生活来说是一个好的选择吗？

What was this all about?

这是怎么回事？

Why did I move in that house?

我为什么搬进那所房子？

Why did I befriend that person that I knew was a different kind of person from day one?

为什么我要和那个我从第一天起就知道是不同类型的人成为朋友？

You know, why did my ego lead me to believe that I was going to fix this broken person?

你知道，为什么我的自我让我相信我会修复这个破碎的人？

Good afternoon.

下午好。

My name is Kelly Ayotte, the Attorney General for the state.

我叫凯利·阿约特，该州总检察长。

I have with me the police chief from the City of Manchester, John Jaskolka.

与我同行的还有曼彻斯特市警察局长约翰·雅斯科卡 (John Jaskolka)。

And then, after more than two months, the Attorney General called a press conference.

然后，两个多月后，司法部长召开了新闻发布会。

We are here today to report that our investigation revealed absolutely no evidence that Raymond Buckley possessed child pornography.

我们今天在这里报告，我们的调查绝对没有证据表明雷蒙德·巴克利拥有儿童色情制品。

Therefore, we will not be bringing any criminal charges against Mr. Raymond Buckley.

因此，我们不会对雷蒙德·巴克利先生提出任何刑事指控。

And with those two sentences, it was over.

就这两句话，就结束了。

The AG went on to say that no one they interviewed could corroborate anything Vaillancourt had said.

总检察长接着表示，他们采访的任何人都无法证实 Vaillancourt 所说的任何内容。

No one had come forward with any evidence whatsoever.

没有人提出任何证据。

And that Vaillancourt himself couldn't describe seeing anything that constituted child pornography under New Hampshire statute.

瓦扬古本人也无法描述自己看到过任何构成新罕布什尔州法律规定的儿童色情制品的东西。

And that he had admitted to police that he had exaggerated in his letter to the governor.

他还向警方承认，他在给州长的信中夸大了事实。

And then someone asked whether Vaillancourt had essentially made all this up.

然后有人问这一切是否基本上都是 Vaillancourt 编造的。

It is clear that if she could have, the Attorney General would have said yes.

很明显，如果她可以的话，司法部长会答应的。

I can tell you that we seriously considered bringing charges against Mr. Vaillancourt.

我可以告诉你，我们认真考虑过对瓦扬古先生提出指控。

However, the statute requires that we prove that someone knowingly made a false report to law enforcement.

然而，法规要求我们证明有人故意向执法部门做出虚假报告。

And so, therefore, that would be a difficult hurdle for us to initially overcome.

因此，这将是我们最初克服的一个困难障碍。

Vaillancourt was there in the crowd.

瓦扬古就在人群中。

Wearing a parka that belonged to Buckley's father, by the way, and videotaping the whole thing.

顺便说一句，他穿着巴克利父亲的派克大衣，并拍摄了整个过程。

He even asked a couple of questions.

他甚至问了几个问题。

And the AG and the cops are answering, using his name in the third person like they don't recognize him, which maybe they don't.

总检察长和警察正在回答，用第三人称使用他的名字，就像他们不认识他一样，也许他们不认识他。

In any case, he stages a press conference immediately afterwards.

无论如何，他随后立即召开了新闻发布会。

I guess it's always good to quote those Dixie Chicks.

我想引用那些南方小鸡的话总是好的。

"Not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down." Absolutely everything I wrote in the letter to Governor Lynch is correct.

“我还没准备好示好，我也没准备好退缩。”我在给林奇州长的信中所写的一切绝对是正确的。

I have to say, I am so saddened in a sense today, because this investigation takes me back to when Mark Fuhrman found one glove behind Kato Kaelin's house and Detective Vannatter was running around Los Angeles, 30 miles with a vial of blood.

我不得不说，今天我在某种意义上感到非常悲伤，因为这次调查让我回想起马克·福尔曼在加藤·凯林的房子后面发现一只手套时，瓦纳特警探带着一瓶血在洛杉矶周围跑了 30 英里。

Not since then has an investigation been so botched as this one.

从那时起，还没有哪项调查像这次调查那样糟糕。

Vaillancourt said he was sure there was a cover-up, which he still believes.

瓦扬古表示，他确信其中存在隐瞒，而且他仍然相信这一点。

He said people had known about Buckley for years, and he couldn't understand why the cops gave up so easily.

他说人们多年来都知道巴克利，他不明白为什么警察这么容易放弃。

Then someone asked whether he was worried about what would happen to him now, about whether his reputation was ruined.

然后有人问他是否担心现在的事情会发生在他身上，担心他的名声是否被毁了。

I have only been happier three times in my life.

我一生中只幸福过三次。

Two other times.

还有两次。

Once, my senior year in college, I was extremely happy.

有一次，我大学四年级，我非常高兴。

Good times.

美好时光。

When I fell in love I was extremely happy.

当我坠入爱河时，我感到非常幸福。

And now.

现在。

I think it's like a giant cloud has been lifted from my soul.

我觉得这就像我灵魂中的一朵巨大的云彩被驱散了。

And I feel very happy and at peace with myself, more than I have ever done.

我比以往任何时候都感到非常快乐和平静。

His only regret, he said, was that he hadn't come forward sooner.

他说，他唯一的遗憾是没有早点站出来。

But it was like if your sister's doing heroin, he said, you should turn her in, but you just can't.

但他说，这就像如果你姐姐吸食海洛因，你应该举报她，但你就是做不到。

She's your sister.

她是你的妹妹。

Buckley had been exonerated in the strongest way possible.

巴克利以最强烈的方式被证明无罪。

And within days, he was back on top, doing what New Hampshire politicians do, attending events with presidential candidates.

几天之内，他又回到了巅峰，做了新罕布什尔州政治家所做的事情，与总统候选人一起参加活动。

In this case, another scandal survivor, Hillary Clinton.

在这种情况下，另一位丑闻幸存者希拉里·克林顿。

And Raymond Buckley, an early congratulations.

雷蒙德·巴克利（Raymond Buckley），提前表示祝贺。

You have-- and I have a bit of an idea what it's been like-- you have gone through this with grace and courage.

你——我对那是什么感觉有一点了解——你以优雅和勇气经历了这一切。

Congratulations.

恭喜。

Hey, Rob.

嘿，罗布。

It's Ray Buckley, how are you?

我是雷·巴克利，你好吗？

How are you?

你好吗？

Raymond Buckley Good, good.

雷蒙德·巴克利 好，好。

Hey, obviously, I'm calling through the list for the state chair's race and calling to re-solicit your support, and hoping that you'd consider casting your ballot for me on the 24th?

嘿，显然，我正在打电话查看州主席竞选名单，并再次征求您的支持，并希望您考虑在 24 号为我投票？

Ray's calling his former supporters.

雷正在给他以前的支持者打电话。

This one jokes, "You mean I can't abstain?"

这人开玩笑道：“你的意思是我不能弃权？”

You mean I can't abstain?

你的意思是我不能弃权？

Raymond Buckley No. [LAUGHING]

雷蒙德·巴克利号。[笑]

Yes, of course you have-- Raymond Buckley I still have to ask, Rob.

是的，你当然有——雷蒙德·巴克利，我仍然要问，罗布。

Buckley was back in the race.

巴克利重返比赛。

The governor endorsed him again.

州长再次对他表示支持。

I met with Buckley at the headquarters of the Manchester Democrats, eight days before the election.

选举前八天，我在曼彻斯特民主党总部会见了巴克利。

Buckley was working his way down a list of 196 names in tiny print.

巴克利正在用小字印刷出一份包含 196 个名字的名单。

Let me make another call.

让我再打个电话。

I'm in the zone here.

我就在这个区域。

Hi, Jerry.

嗨，杰瑞。

It's Ray Buckley, how are you?

我是雷·巴克利，你好吗？

I'm fine, Ray, how are you?

我很好，雷，你怎么样？

Raymond Buckley I'm terrific now.

雷蒙德·巴克利 我现在棒极了。

[LAUGHING]

[笑]

It was going well.

进展顺利。

But while I was sitting there in his office, Buckley's cellphone started going nuts, buzzing every minute or two.

但当我坐在他的办公室时，巴克利的手机开始变得疯狂，每隔一两分钟就嗡嗡作响。

He'd glance at it, and then keep talking.

他会扫一眼，然后继续说话。

Until a call came from the current chair of the party, Kathy Sullivan.

直到该党现任主席凯西·沙利文打来电话。

He spoke to her for a second, and then asked me to leave the room.

他和她说了一会儿话，然后让我离开房间。

And while I was standing outside his closed door, a local reporter called me and tipped me off about what was happening.

当我站在他紧闭的门外时，一位当地记者打电话给我，向我通报了正在发生的事情。

Paul Hodes, the newly elected congressman, one of the state's top Democrats, had just issued a press release saying he was withdrawing his support for Buckley's candidacy because he'd seen a video of Buckley posted on YouTube.

新当选的国会议员、该州民主党高层之一保罗·霍兹刚刚发布新闻稿称，他将撤回对巴克利候选资格的支持，因为他在 YouTube 上看到了巴克利的视频。

Hodes also said he thought the proper authorities should look into the matter.

霍兹还表示，他认为有关当局应该调查此事。

Suddenly, Buckley's candidacy was in jeopardy all over again.

突然间，巴克利的候选资格再次陷入危险。

The YouTube thing had been posted the day before.

YouTube 的事情已经在前一天发布了。

Vaillancourt didn't post it himself, but he gave another Manchester Republican some old home movies for it.

Vaillancourt 本人并未发布此内容，但他为此向另一位曼彻斯特共和党人赠送了一些旧家庭电影。

It showed Buckley in his 20s and 30s behaving not badly exactly, but embarrassingly.

它显示了巴克利在20多岁和30多岁时的行为并不糟糕，但令人尴尬。

Doing things maybe a gay frat boy would do, and saying things you might say if you were on vacation with your friends, or playing a board game late at night.

做一些同性恋兄弟会男孩会做的事情，说一些你和朋友一起度假时可能会说的话，或者在深夜玩棋盘游戏。

Which he was.

他就是这样。

About this trip to the Hague.

关于这次海牙之旅。

Raymond Buckley Hitler should have bombed it.

雷蒙德·巴克利·希特勒应该轰炸它。

This is from Vaillancourt's old home movies.

这是 Vaillancourt 的老家庭电影。

And what's striking is how intimate they are.

令人惊讶的是他们的亲密程度。

Even though the content is awful.

虽然内容很烂。

He and Buckley were such close friends when he shot these movies.

当他拍摄这些电影时，他和巴克利是非常亲密的朋友。

Put little clips on them and pull you down the [BLEEP] street right by your little nipples.

把小夹子放在上面，然后把你拉到[BLEEP]街上，就在你的小乳头旁边。

In another part of the video, a narrator points out that Buckley has a MySpace page that's just a few clicks away from gay teenagers.

在视频的另一部分，旁白指出巴克利有一个 MySpace 页面，同性恋青少年只需点击几下即可。

When I came back into the room, Buckley was trying to call his staff members back to work.

当我回到房间时，巴克利正试图叫他的员工回去工作。

He needed to send out an urgent email to party members to try to neutralize Hodes' statement.

他需要向党员发送一封紧急电子邮件，试图抵消霍德斯的言论。

It was a Friday night, and there was a blizzard.

那是一个星期五的晚上，下了一场暴风雪。

Yeah.

是的。

Hey, can you help me try to track down Michael so he can get back here?

嘿，你能帮我找到迈克尔，让他回到这里吗？

I can't hear you, Donna.

我听不见你说话，唐娜。

His car probably isn't going to drive very well in this snow, but I need to send out an email.

他的车在这雪天可能开不好，但我需要发一封电子邮件。

I'm at the city Dems office.

我在市民主党办公室。

I had asked Buckley about the YouTube clip the day before, when it was posted, and he laughed it off, saying the worst thing about it was that he realized how much he'd aged.

前一天 YouTube 视频发布时，我向巴克利询问过此事，他一笑置之，说最糟糕的是他意识到自己老了很多。

The newspapers didn't seem interested either, and they didn't bother writing about it.

报纸似乎也不感兴趣，也懒得报道。

Now Hodes had just made it a story, by saying he's withdrawing his support for Buckley because of it.

现在霍兹刚刚把这件事变成了一个故事，他说他因此而取消了对巴克利的支持。

And Buckley had to fight back.

巴克利不得不反击。

I dropped out once, I'm not doing it again.

我退出过一次，我不会再这样做了。

Two staffers came in and went straight to their desks, as if they already knew what to do.

两名工作人员进来，径直走到自己的办公桌前，好像他们已经知道要做什么一样。

Buckley sat down at a laptop.

巴克利坐在笔记本电脑前。

At this moment, he's fighting for his career.

此时此刻，他正在为自己的事业而奋斗。

For his life's work, really.

真的，为了他一生的工作。

And what that entails, couldn't be more annoyingly small.

而这所带来的后果却是小得令人恼火。

He's trying to log on to YouTube and extract a six-minute video from cyberspace.

他正在尝试登录 YouTube 并从网络空间提取一段六分钟的视频。

Don't touch.

别碰。

Because this is-- how do you even type on this thing?

因为这是——你怎么在这个东西上打字？

2006.

2006年。

Raymond Buckley No, it's my birthday.

雷蒙德·巴克利 不，这是我的生日。

I was not born in 2006, Michael.

我不是 2006 年出生的，迈克尔。

No one's saying much.

没人多说什么。

They all seem utterly focused and purposeful, like a special ops team.

他们看起来全神贯注、目标明确，就像一支特种部队。

Reporters are calling and Buckley is not picking up.

记者打电话给巴克利，但没有接听。

And friends, a couple of whom are lawyers, are calling to give advice.

朋友们（其中有几位是律师）打电话来提供建议。

It occurs to me that Buckley's probably had to do this dozens of times for other candidates.

我想到巴克利可能不得不为其他候选人这样做数十次。

Politics is all about tearing down reputations and building them back up.

政治就是摧毁声誉并重建声誉。

So of course he knows what to do for his own crisis.

所以他当然知道如何应对自己的危机。

They find out they can't shut down the video, but they can complain about it online.

他们发现自己无法关闭视频，但可以在网上投诉。

So their next strategy is to get their friends to become YouTube members, so they can flag the video as offensive.

因此，他们的下一个策略是让他们的朋友成为 YouTube 会员，这样他们就可以将视频标记为攻击性的。

You know, Chris is at home.

你知道，克里斯在家。

Obviously, Donna's at home.

显然，唐娜在家。

Call Judy.

打电话给朱迪。

Just have them start calling people.

让他们开始打电话给人们。

After about 40 minutes, they give up on Youtube, and concentrate instead on the email they're writing to committee members.

大约 40 分钟后，他们放弃了 YouTube，转而专注于写给委员会成员的电子邮件。

Michael is on the phone with an adviser, and they decide on what the message should be.

迈克尔正在与顾问通电话，他们决定应该传达什么信息。

That at the time these movies were filmed, Buckley was young and immature.

在拍摄这些电影时，巴克利还年轻且不成熟。

Michael suggests they fib about his age, and say the video was shot when Buckley was in his 20s.

迈克尔暗示他们谎报了他的年龄，并表示该视频是在巴克利 20 多岁时拍摄的。

Buckley doesn't take his advice.

巴克利没有采纳他的建议。

He sidesteps how old he was and instead concentrates on the bigger question, who should they blame for the attack?

他回避了自己的年龄，而是专注于更大的问题，他们应该将这次袭击归咎于谁？

Party chairwoman Kathy Sullivan is on the phone, and she proposes blaming the Republican party as a whole.

党主席凯西·沙利文正在打电话，她提议将责任归咎于整个共和党。

But Buckley isn't so sure.

但巴克利不太确定。

Well, think about it.

好吧，想想看。

Because if it's clearly pinpointed, it's just the two of them operating on their own, as these two rogue, disgraced individuals.

因为如果说得清楚的话，那就是他们两个人在各自为政，这两个无赖、不光彩的人。

I guess I don't want to make this entirely about me against the Republican party.

我想我不想让这完全是关于我反对共和党。

You sure about that?

你确定吗？

Sarah Koenig That night the YouTube video had only been seen 365 times.

Sarah Koenig 当晚，YouTube 视频的浏览量仅为 365 次。

Despite everything Buckley's people did, the thing stayed in the news for days.

尽管巴克利的人做了一切，这件事还是在新闻中出现了好几天。

And by the end of the week, it had been seen 7,000 more times.

到本周末，该视频的观看次数又增加了 7,000 次。

If all of you members of the state committee could please take your seats.

请各位州委员会委员就座。

Finally, the state party had its meeting, where they would elect the new chairman.

最后，缔约国召开会议，选举新主席。

Oh, Martha's writing a check.

哦，玛莎正在写一张支票。

Then we won't have her take her seat.

那我们就不让她坐了。

This was the moment Buckley had been fighting for three months.

这就是巴克利奋斗了三个月的时刻。

The moment that would decide whether he'd get his dream job.

这一刻将决定他是否能得到他梦想的工作。

Whether he'd really survived.

他是否真的活下来了。

There was a little skirmish when congressman Paul Hodes, the guy who had started the Youtube flap, gave his speech.

当国会议员保罗·霍兹（Paul Hodes）（正是 YouTube 的发起者）发表演讲时，发生了一场小冲突。

But mostly it was pretty civil.

但大多数情况下都是相当文明的。

Eventually Kathy Sullivan took the mic.

最终凯西·沙利文拿起了麦克风。

I have the results.

我有结果了。

Our new chairman, with a vote of 109, is Raymond Buckley.

我们的新任主席是雷蒙德·巴克利 (Raymond Buckley)，他以 109 票当选。

[APPLAUSE] Sarah Koenig After all the cheering, reporters mobbed Buckley, who talked about how, as the new chairman, he wanted to improve civility in political life in New Hampshire.

[掌声]莎拉·科尼格 (Sarah Koenig) 在大家欢呼之后，记者们围攻巴克利，巴克利谈到，作为新任主席，他希望改善新罕布什尔州政治生活中的文明程度。

After the three months that I've just lived through, it's really my mission now.

在我刚刚经历了三个月之后，现在这确实是我的使命。

There's no way that you could've survived the few months that I did without coming out a changed person.

你不可能像我一样熬过这几个月而不变了一个人。

Throughout this whole thing, people kept talking about the politics of personal destruction, and how shocked they were that these tactics had come to New Hampshire.

在整个事件中，人们一直在谈论个人毁灭的政治，以及他们对这些策略来到新罕布什尔州感到多么震惊。

But in a presidential primary year especially, it's hard to be optimistic that people will suddenly be nicer to each other.

但尤其是在总统初选的一年里，很难乐观地认为人们会突然变得更加友善。

The real change to come out of all this public, political drama, will probably end up being private and personal.

所有这些公共政治戏剧所带来的真正改变可能最终会是私人的和个人的。

Because even though his career might have survived, Buckley is changed.

因为尽管巴克利的职业生涯可能得以幸存，但他已经改变了。

He told me he no longer trusts people the way he used to.

他告诉我他不再像以前那样信任别人。

He no longer wants to make new friends.

他不再想结交新朋友。

He polices himself all the time, making sure he doesn't say anything that someone else might find offensive.

他一直自我约束，确保自己不说任何可能令别人冒犯的话。

The other day at lunch, a staff person used extreme language to reference a person.

前几天午餐时，一名工作人员使用极端语言来提及某人。

And I just quickly picked up what was left of my lunch and I said, "I have to leave the room, because you said that word.

我很快拿起午餐剩下的东西，然后说：“我必须离开房间，因为你说了那个词。

I have to leave."

我得走了。”

Whereas before you would have laughed or just--

而以前你会笑或者只是——

I wouldn't pay attention, I wouldn't be listening.

我不会注意，我不会听。

Now I listen to everything that's going on around me, to make sure that nobody can misinterpret anything that anyone is saying near me that was inappropriate.

现在，我倾听周围发生的一切，以确保没有人能够误解我附近任何人所说的不恰当的话。

Because the attorney general's report was so emphatic about clearing him, and because the report was such big news, his reputation's about as good as he could hope for.

因为总检察长的报告非常强调为他洗清罪名，而且该报告又是一个大新闻，所以他的声誉就如他所希望的那样好。

Some people even said he came out looking stronger for all this.

有些人甚至说，这一切让他看上去更坚强了。

But Buckley thinks he's permanently changed.

但巴克利认为他已经永久改变了。

That he's not sure he'll ever really feel in control of his life again.

他不确定自己是否能再次真正掌控自己的生活。

Coming up, what if you have a terrible reputation, and then you figure out that it is absolutely correct.

接下来，如果你的名声很糟糕，然后你发现它绝对正确怎么办？

That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.

稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。

It's This American Life , I'm Ira Glass.

这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, bring your a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.

当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。

Today's show "My Reputation." We've arrived at act two of our show, act two.

今天的节目是《我的名声》。我们已经到了演出的第二幕，第二幕。

The Hole Truth.

漏洞的真相。

I think most of us would rather not think about our reputations tpp much, you know?

我想我们大多数人都不愿意过多考虑我们的声誉，你知道吗？

What's the point?

有什么意义？

What's it going to do for you?

它会对你做什么？

But in this next story one man, one brave man, faces his reputation.

但在下一个故事中，一个人，一个勇敢的人，将面对他的声誉。

He sets out to learn, once and for all, what people really think of him.

他开始一劳永逸地了解人们对他的真实看法。

This brave man's name is Gabe Delahaye.

这位勇敢的人的名字叫加布·德拉哈耶。

A warning to listeners that a word shows up in this story.

警告听众这个故事中出现了一个词。

A word that we beep.

我们发出嘟嘟声。

I'm well aware that I have a certain reputation.

我很清楚我有一定的声誉。

My roommate, Andrew, who went to high school with me and knows me better than almost anyone, who is one of the most thoughtful and considerate people I know, puts it best.

我的室友安德鲁（Andrew）和我一起上高中，他比任何人都更了解我，他是我认识的最有思想、最体贴的人之一，他说得最好。

This is actually really hard to say to somebody's face, it turns out.

事实证明，这实际上很难当着别人的面说。

I mean everyone-- I don't know.

我是说每个人——我不知道。

Sorry, I am actually trying to figure out the best way to do this.

抱歉，我实际上正在尝试找出最好的方法来做到这一点。

I don't know, everyone just thinks you're an ass[BLEEP].

我不知道，每个人都认为你是个混蛋[BLEEP]。

I mean, it's true that I make fun of people all the time.

我的意思是，我确实一直在取笑别人。

But with my friends, at least, it comes from a good place.

但至少对于我的朋友来说，它来自一个好地方。

Like that time that Danielle asked me at the bar if I'd seen that episode of 90210 and I shouted "No," before she could even tell me which one.

就像有一次，丹妮尔在酒吧问我是否看过《90210》的那一集，在她告诉我是哪一集之前，我大喊“没有”。

And then I laughed in her face.

然后我当着她的面笑了。

And, OK, I'd just met her that night.

好吧，那天晚上我才认识她。

So Lindsey turned to me and said that she wanted me to teach her how to be such an ass[BLEEP].

于是林赛转向我说她想让我教她如何成为这样一个混蛋[BLEEP]。

And I told her it couldn't be taught.

我告诉她这是无法教的。

But we were all just joking around, right?

但我们都只是开玩笑，对吧？

That's how I saw it.

我就是这么看的。

And I assumed my friends saw it that way, too.

我想我的朋友们也这么认为。

I mean, Andrew calls me an ass[BLEEP] all the time.

我的意思是，安德鲁一直叫我混蛋[BLEEP]。

He warns people about me, right in front of me.

他就在我面前警告人们注意我。

But he wouldn't still be my friend if it wasn't kind of a joke.

但如果这不是一个玩笑的话，他就不会是我的朋友了。

It's just this role that I've been assigned in our group of friends, a role I'm more than happy to play.

这正是我在我们的朋友圈中被分配的角色，我非常乐意扮演这个角色。

So I sat Andrew down, to make sure he felt the same way.

所以我让安德鲁坐下来，以确保他也有同样的感觉。

That I'm a quote, unquote, ass[BLEEP].

我是一个引用，取消引用，屁股[BLEEP]。

But I'm not really an ass[BLEEP].

但我并不是一个真正的混蛋[BLEEP]。

And, right away, he brings up the emails that led to this very conversation.

而且，他立即提出了导致这次谈话的电子邮件。

I had written to ask him if he could be home at 8:00, to talk on tape.

我写信询问他是否可以在 8:00 回家听录音。

And at this point, I say, "All right, that sounds pretty good.

此时，我说：“好吧，听起来不错。

Make sure to tell craft services I am ovo-lacto," which is maybe not the funniest joke but, you know.

一定要告诉工艺服务人员我是蛋奶，”这可能不是最有趣的笑话，但是，你知道。

And you reply, I think out of nowhere, "Sure.

我突然想到你会回答：“当然。

How do you take your coffee?

你怎么喝咖啡？

Like your women, right?

就像你的女人一样，对吧？

So that's rarely." And then you write, "Zing." I thought the whole thing was a little unnecessary.

所以这种情况很少见。”然后你写“Zing”。我觉得整件事有点不必要。

But you don't, uh, drink a lot of coffee.

但你不会，呃，喝很多咖啡。

Right?

正确的？

Yeah, that's true.

是的，确实如此。

Gabriel Delahaye Have you ever seen me be nice to people?

加布里埃尔·德拉哈耶 你见过我对人友善吗？

Yeah.

是的。

I can't think of any examples, but I'm sure you have.

我想不出任何例子，但我相信你有。

I'm sure you have.

我确信你有。

Like if you weren't paying attention or something.

就好像你不注意什么的。

You've probably gotten up on the subway for somebody or something, right?

您可能是为了某人或某事而在地铁上起床的，对吧？

Maybe not.

也许不是。

I don't know.

我不知道。

Inertia?

惯性？

Gabriel Delahaye Inertia.

加布里埃尔·德拉哈耶惯性。

Did you hear him say that he was only friends with me out of inertia?

你有没有听他说他只是出于惯性才和我做朋友？

And I'm the ass[BLEEP]?

我就是那个混蛋[BLEEP]？

So we're sitting there talking about this stuff, and our friend Travis, who lives in the neighborhood, showed up.

所以我们坐在那里谈论这些事情，我们住在附近的朋友特拉维斯出现了。

And once the two of them could compare notes, something changed.

一旦他们两个能够交换意见，事情就发生了变化。

For one, they didn't just think I was an ass[BLEEP] because of a well meaning joke taken too far.

首先，他们不只是因为一个善意的玩笑开得太过分而认为我是个混蛋。

It was more than that.

不仅如此。

Like the time Travis wouldn't take off his stupid bicycle helmet.

就像特拉维斯不肯摘下他那愚蠢的自行车头盔那样。

I think I was carrying something else.

我想我还带着别的东西。

Like, it was just easier to just put the helmet on my head, even though I wasn't on my bike.

就像，即使我没有骑自行车，将头盔戴在头上也更容易。

But for some reason, that prompted you to keeps hitting me on my head.

但出于某种原因，这促使你不断地打我的头。

Which, you know, it was kind of funny the first time but it actually kind of hurt.

你知道，第一次有点好笑，但实际上有点伤人。

And I was, like, stop doing that.

我当时就想，别再这样做了。

So I was telling someone else about it.

所以我就把这件事告诉了别人。

Like, can you believe what a jerk this guy is?

就像，你能相信这个家伙是多么混蛋吗？

Like, why is he your friend?

比如，为什么他是你的朋友？

It's like, well.

就像，好吧。

I was telling you to take the helmet off, though.

不过我是告诉你把头盔摘下来的。

Yeah, but that's not a good way to tell someone to take the helmet off.

是的，但这不是告诉某人摘下头盔的好方法。

He was right, that was kind of bad.

他是对的，这有点糟糕。

It was like in elementary school when someone would grab your hand and start hitting you in the face with your own hand, and ask you why you were hitting yourself.

就像在小学时，有人会抓住你的手，开始用手打你的脸，并问你为什么打自己。

Who does that?

谁这样做？

Apparently, I do.

显然，我愿意。

And the more they talked, the more obvious it became that their feelings about my behavior went much deeper than just thinking I can be an ass[BLEEP].

他们说得越多，他们对我行为的感受就越明显，而不仅仅是认为我是个混蛋[BLEEP]。

They admitted that lots of times they'll email each other all day long without including me, because they figure I'll just make fun of them.

他们承认很多时候他们会整天互相发电子邮件而不包括我，因为他们认为我只会取笑他们。

And at that moment, in the middle of a question, I had one of those realizations in which you see something you thought you understood in a totally new light.

在那一刻，在回答问题的过程中，我突然意识到，你会以一种全新的视角看到一些你认为自己理解的东西。

I find that there have been countless situations where I'll call you, and you're out with everybody.

我发现有无数次我给你打电话，而你却和每个人都出去了。

And no one has called me.

而且没有人给我打电话。

Now that could be because I'm an ass[BLEEP] and you guys don't want to hang out with me, I'm now realizing.

现在我意识到，这可能是因为我是个混蛋[BLEEP]，你们不想和我一起出去玩。

Only now.

只是现在。

But that's a very-- that's always been very hurtful to me.

但这对我来说一直是非常伤害的。

It's hard to describe what this was like.

很难描述这是什么样的。

The room actually seemed to shrink.

房间实际上似乎缩小了。

Of course it wasn't that every single one of my friends forgot to invite me, repeatedly.

当然，并不是我的每一位朋友都一再忘记邀请我。

Of course.

当然。

And maybe it was the uncomfortable laughter, but they hardly noticed that my face was red, and I was drenched in sweat.

也许是笑声不舒服的缘故，他们却几乎没有注意到我的脸已经红了，汗水湿透了。

I could imagine that an acquaintance, or somebody who had just met me, might feel this way about me.

我可以想象一个熟人，或者刚刚认识我的人，可能会对我有这样的感觉。

But these were two of my best friends and there were times when they would just rather avoid me altogether.

但这是我最好的两个朋友，有时他们宁愿完全避开我。

Here's Travis.

这是特拉维斯。

It kind of seems like you intentionally try and be the kind of aggressive guy who makes people uncomfortable, or whatever.

看起来你好像故意尝试成为那种让人感到不舒服的好斗的人，或者其他什么。

Andrew chimed in.

安德鲁插话道。

Andrew Yeah.

安德鲁 是的。

I feel like you end up setting the threshold for what people's comfort level with your relationship is.

我觉得你最终为人们对你们关系的舒适度设定了门槛。

The amount of aggression, or back and forth.

侵略的程度，或者来回。

And if they don't like it, it's often just, like, that's it.

如果他们不喜欢它，通常只是，就这样了。

I guess I just assumed we all have our flaws.

我想我只是假设我们都有缺点。

Andrew is the kind of guy who argues everything, and I mean everything.

安德鲁是那种凡事都争论的人，我的意思是凡事都争辩。

Like the word grill, which is popular slang for face.

就像“烧烤”这个词，这是流行的俚语，意思是“脸”。

Andrew has maintained for years that it is slang for a rib cage, despite a thousand rap songs to the contrary.

安德鲁多年来一直坚称这是肋骨的俚语，尽管有一千首说唱歌曲与此相反。

Or if Andrew's tired, and you're hanging out with him, he just talks about being tired the whole time.

或者，如果安德鲁累了，而你和他一起出去玩，他只是一直在谈论累。

And it's like, dude, I get it.

就像，伙计，我明白了。

You're tired.

你累了。

Go take a nap.

去小睡一下吧。

But that's my point.

但这就是我的观点。

We're friends, so I accept all that about him.

我们是朋友，所以我接受他的一切。

I don't warn people to avoid the word grill around Andrew.

我不会警告人们在安德鲁周围避免使用“烧烤”这个词。

I don't tell them in advance that most of Travis' day-to-day conversation is a string of impenetrable one liner inside jokes that he would never bother explaining to someone who didn't understand them already.

我没有提前告诉他们，特拉维斯的大部分日常谈话都是一连串难以理解的内部笑话，他永远不会费心向那些不明白这些笑话的人解释。

I accept these things about Andrew and Travis as part of the deal.

作为交易的一部分，我接受有关安德鲁和特拉维斯的这些事情。

Just like I expected them to accept that I can be an ass[BLEEP].

就像我期望他们接受我可能是个混蛋一样[BLEEP]。

Which, actually, I guess they do.

事实上，我猜他们确实这么做了。

I just don't get to decide what that acceptance looks like.

我只是无法决定这种接受是什么样的。

We're friends.

我们是朋友。

We're friends.

我们是朋友。

But some of the time spent with you is not fun.

但有些和你一起度过的时间并不有趣。

That's really well put.

这确实说得很好。

It's not about like or dislike.

这与喜欢或不喜欢无关。

It's about just how you treat people, I guess.

我想这只是关于你如何对待别人。

When Travis left, it was pretty tense in our apartment.

特拉维斯离开后，我们公寓里气氛相当紧张。

Andrew and I spent half an hour making small talk.

安德鲁和我闲聊了半个小时。

Saying things like, "Dinner is a really great meal, you know?

可以这样说：“晚餐真是一顿美餐，你知道吗？

Like out of the three?" Just to ensure that our friendship hadn't suffered a mortal blow.

喜欢三个中的一个吗？”只是为了确保我们的友谊没有受到致命的打击。

The next morning, I woke up with an emotional hangover.

第二天早上，我带着宿醉的情绪醒来。

I had that anxiety where it feels like someone is sitting on your chest and I left early for work to avoid seeing Andrew again.

我有一种焦虑感，感觉好像有人坐在你的胸口上，我很早就去上班了，以避免再次见到安德鲁。

I spent the whole day writing emails to people, asking them to remind me that I'm not an ass[BLEEP].

我花了一整天的时间给人们写电子邮件，请他们提醒我，我不是一个混蛋[BLEEP]。

When I told them that I was confronting this reputation head on, the typical reaction was not reassure me, but just to tell me how brave I was for trying.

当我告诉他们我正直面这种声誉时，典型的反应不是让我放心，而是告诉我我有多么勇敢地尝试。

"Oh," one of them wrote.

“哦，”其中一位写道。

"I don't think I could do what you're doing.

“我不认为我能做你正在做的事情。

That sounds really hard."

听起来真的很难。”

Over the next few weeks, I talked to friends and family to see if they felt the same way.

在接下来的几周里，我与朋友和家人交谈，看看他们是否有同样的感觉。

And everyone, down to the last man, had something to say on the subject.

每个人，直到最后一个人，都对这个话题有话要说。

My brother.

我的兄弟。

You know, it's embarrassing, of course.

你知道，这当然很尴尬。

Sometimes you go a bit over the top.

有时你会做得有点过头了。

My ex-girlfriend Kate.

我的前女友凯特。

Kate I think you, honestly, embrace it.

凯特，老实说，我认为你会接受它。

I mean, do you like knowing that people say they don't like you?

我的意思是，你喜欢知道人们说他们不喜欢你吗？

My friend Scott.

我的朋友斯科特。

Scott I didn't like you before I met you.

斯科特，在遇见你之前我并不喜欢你。

And I had decided that I was not going to talk to you or give you the time of day.

我决定不再和你说话，也不给你时间。

And I also tried to persuade other people to dislike you.

我也试图说服其他人不喜欢你。

Even my mom.

甚至我妈妈。

Gabriel's Mom Well, it used to bother me.

加布里埃尔的妈妈 嗯，这曾经困扰过我。

Because I thought, wow, all this energy I put into this kid and he makes fun of me.

因为我想，哇，我把所有的精力都投入到这个孩子身上，他却取笑我。

Then I got OK with it.

然后我就同意了。

I think that's kind of where I'm at, I'm mostly OK with it.

我想这就是我现在的处境，我基本上对此感到满意。

It's easy to dismiss Andrew or Scott.

人们很容易忽视安德鲁或斯科特。

But my mom?

但我妈妈呢？

How do I dismiss my mom?

我该如何辞退我妈妈？

By the time I talked to my friend Carey, who just decided, like, last Friday that she didn't hate me anymore, she asked me the next logical question.

当我和我的朋友凯莉交谈时，她刚刚决定，就像上周五，她不再恨我一样，她问了我下一个合乎逻辑的问题。

So what are you going to do?

那么你要做什么？

Are you going to change?

你要改变吗？

Well.

出色地。

Uh.

呃。

It was in that pause right there, when I avoided answering, that I realized what I had done.

就在那一刻，当我避免回答时，我意识到我做了什么。

I believe I'm the first person in history to have staged an intervention on himself.

我相信我是历史上第一个对自己进行干预的人。

What started out as an attempt to force Andrew into admitting that I wasn't an ass[BLEEP] became a referendum on me as a person, with everyone agreeing that he was kind of right.

一开始是试图迫使安德鲁承认我不是一个混蛋[BLEEP]，后来变成了对我作为一个人的公投，每个人都同意他是对的。

And while I might not have thrown any furniture, or beaten my fist against the wall, crying out, "How could you all do this to me?" I did what a lot of people in interventions do.

虽然我可能不会扔任何家具，或者用拳头敲打墙壁，大声喊道：“你们怎么能这样对我？”我做了很多干预措施中的人所做的事情。

I looked my friends and family in the eye, apologized and then politely refused to go to rehab.

我看着朋友和家人的眼睛，道歉，然后礼貌地拒绝去康复中心。

Because, unpleasant as I discovered I can be, I just know in my heart that I'm not changing.

因为，尽管我发现自己可能很不愉快，但我心里知道我不会改变。

And in response to Carey's question, which is the most obvious question to ask, what am I going to do?

回答凯里的问题，这是最明显的问题，我要做什么？

Why don't I change?

我为什么不改变呢？

Why don't I stop the teasing and the fake punching and the helmet slapping?

我为什么不停止戏弄、假拳击和拍打头盔呢？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Inertia?

惯性？

Gabriel Delahaye, is an ass[BLEEP] living in New York.

Gabriel Delahaye，是一个住在纽约的混蛋[BLEEP]。

Our program was produced today by Sarah Koenig and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Jane Feltes, Lisa Pollak, Alissa Shipp, and Nancy Updike.

今天我们的节目由 Sarah Koenig 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Jane Feltes、Lisa Pollak、Alissa Shipp 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。

Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.

我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。

Production help for our show by Seth Lind and Tommy Andres.

Seth Lind 和 Tommy Andres 为我们的节目提供制作帮助。

Music help from Jessica Hopper.

杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。

Web help from Jorge Just and Xioa Jao Yung.

来自 Jorge Just 和 Xioa Jao Yung 的网络帮助。

[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, were you can get our free weekly podcast, see free clips from our television show, or listen to any of our old shows for that same price, free.

[致谢] 在我们的网站上，您可以免费获得我们的每周免费播客，观看我们电视节目的免费剪辑，或者以相同的价格免费收听我们的任何旧节目。

www.thisamericanlife.org.

www.thisamericanlife.org。

We are also trying this experiment right now on vox.com, we have a place where you can talk about This American Life online with other people who listen to the show.

我们现在也在 vox.com 上尝试这个实验，我们有一个地方可以让你与其他收听节目的人在线谈论《This American Life》。

vox.com.

vox.com。

This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.

《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。

[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss, Torey Malatia, who really wishes we hadn't aired that story about him a couple weeks ago.

[资金来源] 我们的老板 Torey Malatia 对我们的项目进行了 WBEZ 管理监督，他真希望我们几周前没有播出关于他的故事。

Yeah, no, I was like, "I told you guys that we shouldn't try to make this into a story.

是的，不，我当时想，“我告诉过你们我们不应该试图把这变成一个故事。

And now look.

现在看看。

I'm a lesbian in Japan."

我在日本是一名女同性恋。”

I'm Ira Glass.

我是艾拉·格拉斯。

Back next week, with more stories of This American Life.

下周将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。

This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.

《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。