329: Nice Work If You Can Get It - This American Life
You are using an outdated browser.
您正在使用过时的浏览器。
Please upgrade your browser or activate Google Chrome Frame to improve your experience.
请升级您的浏览器或激活 Google Chrome 浏览器内嵌框架以改善您的体验。
Sign up for a free Life Partners trial, and you can watch the video “A Night of Stories and Improv.”
注册免费试用《Life Partners》，您可以观看视频“故事与即兴表演之夜”。
00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #329 | March 21, 2008 329: Nice Work If You Can Get It Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 329 集 | 2008 年 3 月 21 日 329：干得好，如果你能得到它 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass First of all, is your last named pronounced Ivv-ins or Eye-vins?
序言 Ira Glass 首先，您的姓氏发音是 Ivv-ins 还是 Eye-vins？
Eye-vins.
眼睛葡萄酒。
Ira Glass And what's your correct title now?
Ira Glass：那么你现在的正确头衔是什么？
Astronaut.
宇航员。
Ira Glass Like, on your business card, it says, "astronaut?"
Ira Glass 就像你的名片上写着“宇航员？”
It actually does.
事实上确实如此。
Ira Glass That is the most glamorous thing I've ever heard.
艾拉·格拉斯 这是我听过的最迷人的事情。
OK, here's a question.
好的，这是一个问题。
We've got 95 active-duty astronauts in our country, but they almost never go into space anymore.
我们国家有 95 名现役宇航员，但他们几乎不再进入太空了。
Some years, there's just one shuttle mission.
有些年份，只有一次航天飞机任务。
The most we ever do is three or four.
我们最多做的就是三四个。
So if you're an astronaut, OK, you show up for work at Johnson Space Flight Center every morning.
因此，如果您是一名宇航员，那么您每天早上都会到约翰逊太空飞行中心上班。
What do you do all day?
你整天都做什么？
Monday's are the days from hell.
周一是地狱般的日子。
So Monday, I go to meetings all day long.
所以星期一，我一整天都去参加会议。
Marsha Ivins is a veteran of five space missions between 1990 and 2001.
玛莎·艾文斯 (Marsha Ivins) 是一位在 1990 年至 2001 年间执行过五次太空任务的老兵。
We have the astronaut office meeting.
我们召开宇航员办公室会议。
We have the staff meeting.
我们召开员工会议。
Because I support the new constellation program, they have a staff meeting.
因为我支持新的星座计划，所以他们召开了员工会议。
We've got to sit in a lot of conference rooms.
我们必须坐在很多会议室里。
Chris Cassidy was chosen to be an astronaut in 2004.
克里斯·卡西迪 (Chris Cassidy) 于 2004 年被选为宇航员。
And sometimes I find that tedious.
有时我觉得这很乏味。
And as a new guy astronaut, we go to a lot of those meetings.
作为一名新宇航员，我们参加了很多这样的会议。
I would say the worst part is probably the meetings.
我想说最糟糕的部分可能是会议。
Cady Coleman flew space missions in 1995 and, most recently, 1999.
卡迪·科尔曼 (Cady Coleman) 曾于 1995 年和最近的 1999 年执行过太空任务。
There is also the paperwork.
还有文书工作。
When you work for the government, you have to go to a security refresher and ethics refresher.
当你为政府工作时，你必须参加安全复习和道德复习。
OK, so it's the day you get back from a shuttle mission, are there special weird forms that you have to fill out on that day?
好吧，今天是你完成航天飞机任务回来的那一天，那天你需要填写一些特别奇怪的表格吗？
Well, there is a travel voucher.
嗯，有一张旅行券。
You know, we work for the government, all of us.
你知道，我们所有人都为政府工作。
And there is some government thing that says, when you're traveling, you will be paid for just the fact that you are gone from home, and there must be something you had to buy.
政府有规定，当你旅行时，只要你离开家，你就会得到报酬，而且一定有一些东西是你必须买的。
It's $3.50 a day?
一天3.50美元？
Chris Cassidy I think that's the government, what they call meals and incidentals rate.
克里斯·卡西迪（Chris Cassidy）我认为这就是政府，他们称之为膳食和杂费率。
So if I'm going to Washington, DC to go to NASA headquarters, it authorizes me the mode of transportation, you know, commercial air, or train, or taxi, or whatever when I'm there.
因此，如果我要去华盛顿特区前往 NASA 总部，它会授权我使用商业航空、火车、出租车或其他我在那里的交通方式。
So when we go to space, we get travel orders that authorize us to go from Houston to the Kennedy Space Center to Earth orbit and return.
因此，当我们进入太空时，我们会收到旅行订单，授权我们从休斯顿前往肯尼迪航天中心，再前往地球轨道并返回。
Wait, and is there a place on it where it says, like, taxi, jet, space shuttle?
等等，上面有没有写着出租车、喷气式飞机、航天飞机等字样？
Like, is that an actual box you fill in?
就像，这是您填写的实际框吗？
It's government air.
这是政府的空气。
Ira Glass Government air?
艾拉·格拉斯 政府空气？
It's government air.
这是政府的空气。
And then lodging is provided, transportation is provided, meals are provided.
然后提供住宿、提供交通、提供膳食。
The astronauts all have offices, three or four of them to a room, on the sixth floor of a nondescript office building.
宇航员们都有自己的办公室，三四个人一间，位于一栋不起眼的办公楼的六楼。
They do some public speaking.
他们做一些公开演讲。
Cady, for example, had just talked to a ninth grade biology class.
例如，卡迪刚刚在九年级生物课上讲过话。
Chris had welcomed the Farm Credit Bank of Texas Annual Stockholders Meeting to Houston just a couple of hours before our interview.
就在我们采访前几个小时，克里斯对德克萨斯州农业信贷银行年度股东大会在休斯敦举行表示欢迎。
If they have a mission coming up, they train all the time, but they almost never have a mission coming up.
如果他们有任务要执行，他们就会一直训练，但他们几乎从来没有任务要执行。
Most of the time they spend on the ground seems to be helping design the gear that's used in space, and teaching others how to use that gear and practicing on that gear.
他们在地面上花费的大部分时间似乎都在帮助设计在太空中使用的装备，并教其他人如何使用该装备并在该装备上进行练习。
They have to do a lot of studying.
他们必须做很多学习。
It's like grad school, one of them said, the operating systems of the space shuttle.
其中一位说，这就像研究生院，航天飞机的操作系统。
And once a week, each of them has to practice flying a real jet, which is to say it's like any good job.
每周一次，他们每个人都必须练习驾驶真正的喷气式飞机，也就是说，这就像任何好工作一样。
For all the stuff that's kind of interesting and sort of fun, there's lots of stuff that you just kind of have to get through.
对于所有有点有趣和有趣的事情，有很多事情是你必须经历的。
Cady and Chris both estimated they spend maybe one day a week doing the things that they really love.
卡迪和克里斯都估计他们每周可能会花一天时间做他们真正喜欢的事情。
That is the stuff, like, being physically in a big white spacesuit and getting lowered into a giant swimming pool and practicing spacewalking.
就是这样的事情，比如，穿着白色的太空服，进入一个巨大的游泳池，练习太空行走。
Now, here in civilian life, when we try to say that something's really difficult, we say, well, it's not rocket science.
现在，在平民生活中，当我们试图说某件事真的很困难时，我们会说，好吧，这不是火箭科学。
If you're actually in rocket science, what do you say?
如果你真的从事火箭科学，你会怎么说？
You say it's not rocket science, the same thing.
你说这不是火箭科学，是同一件事。
And everybody laughs about it, just like we are right now.
每个人都嘲笑它，就像我们现在一样。
Here's something else.
这是别的东西。
Many astronauts are just incredible super-achievers.
许多宇航员都是令人难以置信的超级成就者。
Chris Cassidy was a navy seal.
克里斯·卡西迪是一名海豹突击队队员。
He led operations in the caves on the Afghan-Pakistan border.
他领导了阿富汗和巴基斯坦边境洞穴的行动。
He was awarded two bronze stars at a presidential unit citation.
他在总统单位颁奖典礼上被授予两颗铜星奖。
Cady Coleman has a PhD in polymer science.
卡迪·科尔曼 (Cady Coleman) 拥有聚合物科学博士学位。
Before she was an astronaut, her official NASA bio says, she used to quote, "synthesize model compounds to investigate the use of organic polymers for third order nonlinear optical applications, such as advanced computers." These are people who are used to accomplishing big, big things.
美国宇航局官方简介称，在她成为一名宇航员之前，她常常引用“合成模型化合物来研究有机聚合物在三阶非线性光学应用（例如先进计算机）中的使用”。这些人习惯于完成伟大的事情。
And the main thing they do as astronauts is not go into space.
作为宇航员，他们所做的主要事情并不是进入太空。
44 of the 95 astronauts have never been in space.
95 名宇航员中有 44 人从未进入过太空。
19 of the astronauts, like Chris Cassidy, aren't even scheduled for a mission.
克里斯·卡西迪 (Chris Cassidy) 等 19 名宇航员甚至没有计划执行任务。
And time is running out on them.
他们的时间已经不多了。
The space shuttle is going to stop flying in 2010.
航天飞机将于 2010 年停止飞行。
And the next space vehicle isn't going to be ready until 2020.
下一个太空飞行器要到 2020 年才能准备就绪。
Here's Marsha Ivins.
这是玛莎·艾文斯。
Most people are pretty realists about the nature of things now.
现在大多数人对事物的本质都是非常现实的。
I was very fortunate to be selected and assigned to flights in an era where you could actually fly every two or three years.
我很幸运能够被选中并分配到一个实际上每两三年就可以飞行的时代。
That's never going to happen again.
这种事永远不会再发生了。
The guys that are in the office now realize that they'll be lucky to get one flight in the 10 or 15 years they spend in the office, maybe two.
办公室里的人现在意识到，他们在办公室工作的 10 年或 15 年里能坐上一次航班（也许是两次）就已经很幸运了。
And so, yes, there's a huge level of frustration and it's not just with astronauts, but with the NASA administrator, with the program managers.
所以，是的，存在巨大的挫败感，不仅是宇航员，还有美国宇航局局长和项目经理。
You look at the moon every night like a big giant tease out there because it's not any closer.
你每天晚上看着月亮就像一个巨大的戏弄在那里，因为它离你不远了。
And so she does what us non-astronauts do, she gets some of her space exploration on TV.
所以她做了我们非宇航员所做的事情，她在电视上看到了她的一些太空探索。
I do watch Battlestar Galactica and Farscape and all of them.
我确实看过《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》和《Farscape》等等。
I watch them all.
我看着他们所有人。
And what do you think when you see them flying around there in space?
当你看到它们在太空中飞来飞去时，你有何感想？
What's that like if you're an astronaut?
如果你是一名宇航员，那感觉如何？
Hugely jealous.
非常嫉妒。
You know, they have left earth orbit.
你知道，他们已经离开了地球轨道。
They have left the solar system.
他们已经离开了太阳系。
They have developed technologies that enable them to do that.
他们开发了使他们能够做到这一点的技术。
So if you want to talk about frustrating, it's like the commercial, where were those cars of the future that you promised us back when I was a kid?
所以如果你想谈论令人沮丧的话，就像广告一样，当我还是个孩子的时候，你向我们承诺的那些未来的汽车在哪里？
Well, where are those spaceships?
那么，那些宇宙飞船在哪里？
Where is that?
哪里是？
I want that.
我想要那个。
You know, I made it through my entire career at NASA, where is that?
你知道，我在 NASA 度过了我的整个职业生涯，那在哪里？
There's frustration for you.
你感到沮丧。
Does it actually remind you in any real way of being in space?
它真的会以任何真实的方式提醒您身处太空吗？
Absolutely none.
绝对没有。
Ira Glass None, it doesn't?
艾拉·格拉斯 没有，不是吗？
Absolutely not.
绝对不是。
Well, all of those shows assume that there are some sort of magical gravity things, so that when you're in your vehicle, everybody's all walking on the floor.
好吧，所有这些节目都假设存在某种神奇的重力，所以当你在车里时，每个人都在地板上行走。
Well, not in our space program.
嗯，不在我们的太空计划中。
They've got fighter jet flying.
他们有战斗机在飞行。
They have pointy noses and wings and they make them look like fighters.
它们有尖尖的鼻子和翅膀，让它们看起来像战士。
None of that is any advantage when there is no atmosphere.
当没有气氛时，这些都没有任何优势。
You don't need a wing.
你不需要翅膀。
You don't need a pointed nose.
你不需要尖鼻子。
You could be a box and have the same maneuverability as you do-- you know, the Borg had it right.
你可以成为一个盒子，并具有与你相同的机动性——你知道，博格是对的。
They're a big cube.
它们是一个大立方体。
They're perfectly maneuverable, as opposed to the little Star Fighter with a pointed nose and the wings and the engine in the back.
它们的机动性非常好，与尖头、机翼和发动机位于后部的小型星际战斗机不同。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
好吧，这是芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, we have stories of dream jobs and how all those jobs, of course, have certain aspects that turn out to be not so perfectly dreamy.
今天，在我们的节目中，我们讲述了梦想工作的故事，当然，所有这些工作的某些方面最终证明并不那么完美。
Our show today in four acts.
我们今天的演出分四幕。
Act One, I'm Not a TV Star, But I Play One on TV.
第一幕，我不是电视明星，但我在电视上扮演一个。
John Hodgman ends up on a dream job that he never even dreamt of himself.
约翰·霍奇曼最终找到了一份他自己从未梦想过的梦想工作。
Act Two, Show Me the Annuity.
第二幕，让我看看年金。
In that act, a dream job that you have almost certainly never heard of, unless you have won $1 million in the lottery.
就这一幕而言，这是一份你几乎肯定从未听说过的梦想工作，除非你中了 100 万美元的彩票。
Act Three, The Homesick Explorer.
第三幕，想家的探险家。
Sarah Vowell tells that story.
莎拉·沃威尔讲述了这个故事。
Act Four, Just One Thing Missing, in which a girl is stopped from getting her dream job by one of the most powerful forces on this earth.
第四幕，只缺少一件事，地球上最强大的势力之一阻止了一个女孩获得她梦想的工作。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, I'm Not a TV Star, But I Play One on TV.
第一幕，我不是电视明星，但我在电视上扮演一个。
John Hodgman was a magazine writer and he was a contributor to our radio show, and then he started appearing on television.
约翰·霍奇曼是一位杂志作家，也是我们广播节目的撰稿人，然后他开始出现在电视上。
He now appears about twice a month on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart , and he appears about one million times a month on a series of ads for Apple Computers.
现在，他每月大约出现在《乔恩·斯图尔特每日秀》上两次，并且每月大约出现在苹果电脑系列广告中一百万次。
You've probably seen these ads, one of the most noticeable ad campaigns in the country.
您可能已经看过这些广告，这是该国最引人注目的广告活动之一。
There's two guys against a white background, one's a Mac, one's a PC.
有两个人在白色背景下，一个是 Mac，一个是 PC。
John is the PC.
约翰是电脑。
At one of our live shows in Los Angeles-- Los Angeles, of course, the epicenter of American television production-- John talked about what it is like to have this strange new job.
在我们在洛杉矶举行的一场现场表演中——当然，洛杉矶是美国电视制作的中心——约翰谈到了从事这份奇怪的新工作的感觉。
Good evening.
晚上好。
My name is John Hodgman.
我叫约翰·霍奇曼。
Thank you for meeting me here in Los Angeles.
感谢您在洛杉矶与我见面。
I've been enjoying getting to know your city of Los Angeles.
我很高兴了解你们所在的洛杉矶市。
Until recently, my only experience within LA had been as a child.
直到最近，我在洛杉矶的唯一经历还是小时候。
I had come here in the early '80s with my dad.
八十年代初，我和父亲一起来到这里。
He was on business.
他正在出差。
He took me along.
他带我一起去。
And we went to the Universal Studios tour, and this was traumatic.
我们去了环球影城之旅，这是一次痛苦的经历。
What happened was we were sitting on some kind of a bench when I was approached by a small human dressed as Charlie Chaplin.
发生的事情是，当我们坐在某种长凳上时，一个装扮成查理·卓别林的小个子走近我。
At this time in my life, I had very long hair.
在我生命的这个时候，我的头发很长。
I was 10 years old, but I had very long hair.
我当时10岁，但头发很长。
It was a really stupid affectation, but the problem was that people routinely thought that I was a girl.
这确实是一种愚蠢的矫揉造作，但问题是人们通常认为我是个女孩。
And this would lead to occasional embarrassing situations.
这有时会导致尴尬的情况。
Double takes as I entered the men's room, for example.
例如，当我进入男厕所时，我看了两眼。
Or being expected, say, to kiss Charlie Chaplin on his white powdered cheek.
或者，比如说，人们期望亲吻查理·卓别林（Charlie Chaplin）涂了粉的白色脸颊。
And so, after some predictable and annoying cane and bowler hat shenanigans, the moment came.
于是，在经历了一些可预见的、恼人的手杖和圆顶礼帽恶作剧之后，这一刻到来了。
Charlie Chaplin sat next to me and indicated that he was ready for me to kiss him.
查理·卓别林坐在我旁边，表示他已经准备好让我吻他了。
He waited me out.
他等我出去。
It was clear what was expected of me and what was going to happen.
很清楚对我的期望是什么以及将会发生什么。
And finally, I let it happen.
最后，我让它发生了。
So that was my introduction to your city, a traumatic, gender-confused silent comedy date rape.
这就是我对你的城市的介绍，一部令人痛苦的、性别混乱的无声喜剧约会强奸。
At the time, I had no idea why someone would expect a complete stranger to want to kiss them on the cheek.
当时，我不知道为什么有人会期望一个完全陌生的人想要亲吻他们的脸颊。
But now I understand, because now I am on television.
但现在我明白了，因为现在我在电视上。
Now my life has glamour.
现在我的生活充满了魅力。
There is an original definition of the word "glamour" that I did not know about until I read fantasy novels.
“魅力”这个词有一个最初的定义，直到我读奇幻小说时我才知道。
A glamour is a kind of magical spell originally, to where glamour is to surround yourself with a kind of aura that causes people to see you in a different way, to see you as you are not.
魅力原本是一种神奇的咒语，魅力就是用一种光环包围你自己，让人们以不同的方式看待你，看到你本来的样子。
It's a disguise.
这是一种伪装。
And being on television, I've discovered, is sort of like wearing a disguise, one that you didn't necessarily choose to put on, and only other people can actually see it.
我发现，上电视有点像乔装打扮，你不一定选择穿上，只有其他人才能真正看到它。
Over the past year, I've been trying to make sense of exactly how this all came about.
在过去的一年里，我一直试图弄清楚这一切是如何发生的。
I had written a book and I had been asked to be a guest on The Daily Show .
我写了一本书，并被邀请做《每日秀》的嘉宾。
And next I was asked to audition for a series of ads for a computer company.
接下来我被要求为一家电脑公司试镜一系列广告。
And I got that job, too.
我也得到了那份工作。
And just like that, I was on TV, pretty much by accident.
就这样，我上了电视，这几乎是偶然的。
And as a result, I am an older, and fatter, and more jowly person than most people who are making their careers on TV, who are starting out on television now.
因此，与大多数在电视上开始职业生涯的人相比，我是一个更老、更胖、下巴更宽的人。
Here are some of the words that blogs have used when describing me on television.
以下是博客在电视上描述我时使用的一些词语。
"The pudgy John Hodgman." The chubby John Hodgman." "Round John Hodgman." "Stout John Hodgman." "Tubby John Hodgman." "Portly John Hodgman" and "Cutie." There's always an outlier.
“矮胖的约翰·霍奇曼。”胖乎乎的约翰·霍奇曼。”“圆滚滚的约翰·霍奇曼。”“粗壮的约翰·霍奇曼。”“矮胖的约翰·霍奇曼。”“肥胖的约翰·霍奇曼”和“可爱的约翰。”总是有一个异常值。
That last one came from a website that includes a regular feature mapping out celebrity sightings in New York City.
最后一张来自一个网站，该网站定期提供纽约市名人目击事件的专题报道。
And in this an anonymous tipster reported accurately that I was taking the B train south from my home in Manhattan.
在这篇文章中，一位匿名举报者准确地报道说，我正从曼哈顿的家乘坐 B 列车向南行驶。
And I remembered this.
我记得这一点。
I remember this exact thing happening.
我记得这件事确实发生过。
I was on the subway and I was wearing my brown jacket and my brown pants, and a neighbor had earlier said, you know, you look like a UPS guy in that outfit.
我当时在地铁上，穿着棕色夹克和棕色裤子，一位邻居早些时候曾说过，你知道，你穿着那套衣服看起来像 UPS 人员。
And I was sort of thinking about that, and a woman got on the subway and sort of looked at me like, I know you.
我正在思考这个问题，一个女人上了地铁，看着我，好像在说，我认识你。
But then she just immediately started typing on her BlackBerry.
但随后她立即开始在她的黑莓手机上打字。
And then, a guy got on and did sort of the same kind of double take look.
然后，一个人上车，做了同样的双重观察。
And which one of those people is the anonymous tipster?
其中哪一位是匿名举报者？
Which one thinks I am cutie?
哪个觉得我可爱？
So highly subjectively, the tipster reported that I was cutie.
线人非常主观地报告说我很可爱。
And then, returning once again to accuracy, the tipster reported I was dressed like a UPS man.
然后，再次回到准确性，线人报告说我穿得像 UPS 人员。
After that these strange brushes with fame, in which I bizarrely was the famous person, started coming about fairly frequently.
此后，这种与名气的奇怪接触开始相当频繁地发生，其中我奇怪的是其中的名人。
Dateline, the Radio Shack, Big Y Plaza, Greenfield, Massachusetts, the young guy at the counter asked me to autograph an old receipt that he pulls out of the garbage.
日期线，马萨诸塞州格林菲尔德大 Y 广场的广播小屋，柜台上的年轻人让我在他从垃圾堆里拉出的一张旧收据上签名。
What are you doing here?
你在这里做什么？
He asks in a way that conveys several more questions.
他问的方式传达了更多问题。
What are you doing in Massachusetts?
你在马萨诸塞州做什么？
In Greenfield?
在格林菲尔德？
At Radio Shack?
在无线电小屋？
At the Big Y Plaza?
在大Y广场吗？
The West Side Highway in the 20s, two men in a brown Chrysler pull up alongside my car.
20 年代的西区高速公路上，两个男人开着一辆棕色克莱斯勒汽车停在我的车旁边。
When spotted, double thumbs up.
发现后，竖起双拇指。
The Apple Store, SoHo.
苏荷区苹果专卖店。
General storewide freakout.
全店普遍恐慌。
There are waves of double takes as I walk to buy a cable.
当我步行去购买电缆时，人们会产生一波又一波的双重感。
The store greeter cannot believe it is me.
商店迎宾员简直不敢相信这是我。
She jumps up and down.
她上蹿下跳。
The staff starts to play the ads that I'm in on a giant video screen.
工作人员开始在巨大的视频屏幕上播放我所在的广告。
Suddenly, I am like a mascot walking around a theme park.
突然间，我就像一个在主题公园里走来走去的吉祥物。
I'm Charlie Chaplin at Universal Studios, and everyone is rushing to kiss me.
我是环球影城的查理·卓别林，每个人都争先恐后地吻我。
Not long ago, I was spotted at the airport in New York on my way here.
不久前，我在来纽约的途中被人发现在纽约机场。
A successful looking businessman passed by me as I was waiting in line.
当我排队等候时，一位看起来很成功的商人从我身边经过。
He immediately smiled and said, what, no corporate jet for you?
他立即笑道，怎么，没有公务机吗？
Ha ha, I said.
哈哈，我说。
Then the businessman said, whatever they're paying you, you ought to tell them, keep the cash and pay you in flights.
然后商人说，无论他们付给你多少钱，你都应该告诉他们，保留现金并支付你的航班费用。
Ha ha, I said.
哈哈，我说。
Beyond ha ha, I didn't know what to say, really, for two reasons.
除了哈哈，我真的不知道该说什么，有两个原因。
First, because prior to my being on television, businessmen in airports did not generally ever speak to me, or even see me.
首先，因为在我上电视之前，机场的商人一般不会和我说话，甚至不会见到我。
Second, I have to say I was a little confused.
其次，我不得不说我有点困惑。
As best as I could make it out, this businessman's financial plan for me was as follows.
据我所知，这位商人为我制定的财务计划如下。
I should give up all payment for my work and instead, barter my services for free airfare.
我应该放弃所有的工作报酬，用我的服务换取免费机票。
I wondered if he had taken his own advice.
我想知道他是否采纳了自己的建议。
Had he given up his paycheck for a trip around the world?
他是否放弃了薪水去环游世界？
Had he left his family behind, the children he could no longer feed, and the wife who could not understand his weird decision?
他是否抛下了他的家人、他无法养活的孩子以及无法理解他奇怪决定的妻子？
Did he now spend his days forever ascending and descending, buckling and unbuckling?
他现在是否每天都在不断地上升和下降、扣紧和解开扣带？
And now was he trying to trick me, like a fairy in a fable, into joining his strange, lonely, floating world?
而现在他是想像寓言中的仙女一样欺骗我加入他陌生、孤独、漂浮的世界吗？
Still, I said, ha ha.
我还是说，哈哈。
In a way, that said, that's a good idea.
从某种意义上说，这是一个好主意。
Because I almost instinctively wanted to please him even though he was clearly insane.
因为我几乎本能地想要取悦他，尽管他显然已经疯了。
Only much later, like, weeks later, would I consider a different explanation for his behavior, that the businessman was starstruck.
直到很久以后，比如几周后，我才会考虑对他的行为做出不同的解释，即这位商人是追星族。
He knew me from TV, he wanted to make a connection, and said the first thing that came to his head, a very, very bad business idea that made no sense.
他从电视上认识了我，他想建立联系，他说出了他想到的第一句话，一个非常非常糟糕的商业想法，毫无意义。
And I had to consider for the first time the possibility that I didn't need to please him, the successful businessman was trying to please me.
我不得不第一次考虑这样一种可能性：我不需要取悦他，这位成功的商人正在试图取悦我。
Not to complain, but this has been something of a difficult adjustment in my life.
不是抱怨，但这对我的生活来说是一个艰难的调整。
When you are in your 20s, it seems inevitable, somehow, that you will be on television, or an astronaut, or the president.
当你二十多岁的时候，不知何故，你似乎不可避免地会出现在电视上，或者成为宇航员，或者总统。
It is hard-wired into every gland, this ambition to be known and renowned.
这种渴望出名和出名的野心根植于每个腺体中。
And then, of course, you grow older, pudgier, stouter, more portly.
然后，当然，你会变老，变得更矮胖，更胖，更胖。
Then, just when you've discarded the last shred of a shred of a shred of the fantasy of, say, being an astronaut, to then have someone knock at your door one day and say, it's time.
然后，当你放弃了最后一丝幻想，比如说，成为一名宇航员时，有一天就会有人敲你的门，说，是时候了。
Suit up.
穿好衣服。
It's time to go into outer space.
是时候进入外太空了。
It's exciting, but also unsettling.
这很令人兴奋，但也令人不安。
You think, why now?
你想，为什么是现在？
And your idea of yourself never really catches up.
而你对自己的看法永远不会真正跟上。
You put on the space suit and you learn to eat dehydrated food and poop while floating upside down or whatever.
你穿上宇航服，学会吃脱水食物，并学会在倒立漂浮时排便或其他什么。
You adjust, but you never really feel like you're supposed to be up there, orbiting the earth.
你调整了，但你从来没有真正感觉到你应该在那里，绕地球运行。
Thank you very much.
非常感谢。
John Hodgman recorded at Royce Hall in Los Angeles.
约翰·霍奇曼 (John Hodgman) 在洛杉矶的罗伊斯音乐厅 (Royce Hall) 录制。
He's the author of the book, The Areas of My Expertise.
他是《我的专业领域》一书的作者。
[MUSIC - "FAME AND FORTUNE" BY MISSION OF BURMA]
[音乐 - 缅甸代表团的“名誉与财富”]
Act Two, Show Me the Annuity.
第二幕，让我看看年金。
Alex Blumberg has this story of a guy who ends up in what turns out to be the perfect job for him.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格（Alex Blumberg）有这样一个故事：一个人最终找到了一份对他来说是完美的工作。
Ed was working in a bar in Portland, Oregon, where he'd just moved with a bunch of friends from college, when he ran into trouble.
埃德在俄勒冈州波特兰市的一家酒吧工作，他刚刚和一群大学朋友搬到那里，这时他遇到了麻烦。
Oregon at the time had pioneered an innovative new method of playing the state lottery.
当时的俄勒冈州开创了一种创新的州彩票投注新方法。
They'd come out with these video poker terminals that you played five card stud on for money, just like if you're playing online or at a casino.
他们推出了这些视频扑克终端，您可以在上面玩五张牌梭哈来赚钱，就像您在网上或在赌场玩一样。
The difference was that all the money you won or lost came in or out of the Oregon state lottery fund.
不同之处在于，您赢得或输掉的所有钱都来自或来自俄勒冈州彩票基金。
They were incredibly popular.
他们非常受欢迎。
Almost every bar in Portland had a few of these video poker machines.
波特兰几乎每个酒吧都有一些这样的视频扑克机。
And Ed found them very hard to resist.
艾德发现它们很难抗拒。
If I had to be some place, let's say, at 7 o'clock, and I had an hour to kill, then I'd play for an hour.
如果我必须在 7 点到达某个地方，并且我有一个小时的时间可以消磨，那么我就会玩一个小时。
If I had $50 in my pocket, odds are I'd play those $50.
如果我口袋里有 50 美元，我很可能会玩这 50 美元。
And so, for me, I was so embarrassed of the fact that I was doing that, that that's really how I was spending so much of my free time, that I would tend to seek out bars in parts of the city that I knew my friends would be least prone to be in.
所以，对我来说，我对自己这样做感到非常尴尬，这就是我花费大量空闲时间的方式，我倾向于去城市中我知道我的朋友最不可能去的地方寻找酒吧。
And those bars that I often went to were strip clubs.
而我常去的那些酒吧就是脱衣舞俱乐部。
And the fact that there were naked girls dancing around was bonus.
事实上，有裸体女孩在周围跳舞，这是额外的好处。
It was a nice treat, but it really wasn't why I was there.
这是一次很好的款待，但这并不是我来这里的原因。
I went to the strip clubs because I figured that odds are no one else would be at a strip club at 3 o'clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
我去脱衣舞俱乐部是因为我觉得周二下午 3 点几乎没有人会去脱衣舞俱乐部。
So you went to the strip clubs to play the lottery?
所以你去脱衣舞俱乐部玩彩票？
Yeah.
是的。
Alex Blumberg It's like saying I read Playboy for the articles.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格（Alex Blumberg） 这就像说我读《花花公子》是为了看文章。
I know, but meaning it.
我知道，但就是这个意思。
Alex Blumberg And is it safe to say that one of the main reasons that you left Portland was because you were playing the lottery too much?
亚历克斯·布隆伯格（Alex Blumberg）可以肯定地说，你离开波特兰的主要原因之一是因为你玩彩票太多了？
Absolutely.
绝对的。
It was just better for all parties involved if I cut my losses and packed my truck and drove home, which is specifically what I did.
如果我减少损失并收拾好卡车并开车回家，这对所有相关方来说都是更好的事情，而这正是我所做的。
Deep in debt and feeling pretty bad, Ed spent the next 14 months living in his parents' basement, stuck in a mid-20s career malaise.
埃德负债累累，心情非常糟糕，在接下来的 14 个月里，他住在父母的地下室里，陷入了 20 多岁的职业生涯低迷之中。
Until one night, he got a call from a friend saying that she'd met this guy.
直到有一天晚上，他接到朋友的电话，说她认识了这个人。
He owned a company and that the company was hiring.
他拥有一家公司，该公司正在招聘。
Ed came in for an interview, and lo and behold, he got the job, a job that, before the interview, he hadn't even known existed, but for which he was strangely well prepared.
艾德来参加面试，你瞧，他得到了这份工作，在面试之前，他甚至不知道这份工作的存在，但奇怪的是，他为此做好了充分的准备。
The company buys and sells long-term payment streams from lottery winners.
该公司购买和出售彩票中奖者的长期付款流。
The firm where Ed was hired was one of the first entrants into a fledgling industry, which called itself the lump sum industry.
埃德受雇的公司是这个新兴行业的首批进入者之一，该行业自称为一次性行业。
And to understand how it works, you have to understand a little about the lottery.
要了解它是如何运作的，您必须了解一些关于彩票的知识。
Most lottery winners, especially in the '90s, when Ed started his job, didn't get all their money up front, but got paid in installments, annuities.
大多数彩票中奖者，尤其是在 90 年代，当埃德开始工作时，并没有预先拿到所有的钱，而是以分期付款、年金的方式获得。
So for example, if you won $1 million, that was actually only $50,000 a year for the next 20 years.
举例来说，如果你赢得了 100 万美元，那么在接下来的 20 年里，每年实际上只有 5 万美元。
50,000 times 20 is a million.
50,000 乘以 20 等于一百万。
And with taxes, it's not even $50,000.
算上税，连五万美元都不到。
It's more like $35,000.
大约是35,000美元。
One of the big problems that comes as a result of that is that the way these winners are marketed to and the way, when they win, they say, $1 winner, millionaire, millionaire in all these different capacities.
由此产生的一个大问题是，这些获奖者的营销方式以及当他们赢得时的方式，他们说，1美元获奖者、百万富翁、百万富翁以所有这些不同的身份。
And on their billboards and in their radio advertising and TV advertising.
以及他们的广告牌、广播广告和电视广告。
And even though they know that they just got a check for $35,000, they go out and they start acting like they think a millionaire should act.
尽管他们知道自己刚刚收到了一张 35,000 美元的支票，但他们还是走出去，开始表现得像百万富翁应该做的那样。
And so, even though they've only got $35,000 in the bank, they go out and they buy a Porsche or they buy an Escalade, or they buy a new house, or two new houses, or six cars, or whatever it might be.
因此，即使他们银行里只有 35,000 美元，他们也会出去买一辆保时捷，或者买一辆凯雷德，或者买一栋新房子，或者两栋新房子，或者六辆汽车，或者其他什么。
And almost instantly, they get themselves in real hot water financially because they're living how they think they should, or think they can.
几乎立刻，他们就在经济上陷入了真正的困境，因为他们正在按照自己认为应该或可以的方式生活。
If you think you're a millionaire, and in reality what you're getting is an extra $35,000 a year, not only are you not a millionaire, you've barely cracked the next income level, basically.
如果你认为自己是百万富翁，而实际上你每年额外获得 35,000 美元，那么你不仅不是百万富翁，而且基本上还勉强突破了下一个收入水平。
You know, you're barely in a different tax bracket.
你知道，你几乎处于不同的税级。
You're absolutely right.
你是绝对正确的。
And believe me, broke lottery winners or financially troubled lottery winners are the rule.
相信我，破产的彩票中奖者或陷入经济困境的彩票中奖者是规则。
They are hardly the exception.
他们也不例外。
Ed's job was to find these broke lottery winners and offer them cash up front, a lump sum, in exchange for the yearly checks they'd be getting from the lottery.
埃德的工作是找到这些破产的彩票中奖者，并一次性向他们提供现金，以换取他们从彩票中获得的年度支票。
Of course, the lump sum would be less than the total value of the long-term payments.
当然，一次性付款将低于长期付款的总价值。
So if you won $1 million, your lump sum would be about half that.
因此，如果您赢得 100 万美元，您的一次性奖金将约为该数字的一半。
The industry advertises.
业界做广告。
They advertise on television, Judge Judy or all the daytime People's Court kind of things.
他们在电视上做广告，朱迪法官或所有白天的人民法院之类的东西。
And then, generally, somebody will see an ad and then they'll call in to the firm.
然后，一般来说，有人会看到广告，然后他们会打电话给该公司。
Yeah, and back when I first started there, we got so many call-ins that you could literally cherry pick.
是的，当我刚开始在那里的时候，我们接到了很多电话，你几乎可以挑选。
I mean, it was as competitive as the industry became.
我的意思是，它的竞争程度与行业的竞争程度一样。
Back then, it was like the Wild Wild West.
那时，它就像狂野的西部。
And not to mention, of course, there was a tremendous amount of cold calling out to them.
当然，更不用说还有大量的寒冷在向他们呼唤。
Jus pretend that I'm a lottery winner.
假装我是彩票中奖者。
You got me on the phone.
你给我打电话了。
What would you say as a cold caller?
作为一个陌生来电者你会说什么？
What do you say to me?
你对我说什么？
Well, you know, anything you can do not to get hung up on is a good place to start.
嗯，你知道，任何你能做的不被挂断的事情都是一个好的开始。
Any question that you could ask that was going to give you a nugget to be able to work off of.
你可以问的任何问题都会给你一个可以解决的金块。
You're trying to figure out, are they in any type of financial hardship, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing?
你想弄清楚，他们是否遇到任何类型的经济困难，无论这是好事还是坏事？
I mean, a financial hardship might be that their daughter's getting married in the fall and they want to throw her a big lottery-winner wedding.
我的意思是，经济困难可能是因为他们的女儿将于秋季结婚，而他们想为她举办一场盛大的中奖婚礼。
And it could be something as sad as the fact that they're going bankrupt or they opened a restaurant and-- like, so many lottery winners open a restaurant, and they don't know the first thing about opening restaurants.
这可能是一件令人悲伤的事情，比如他们即将破产，或者他们开了一家餐馆，就像很多彩票中奖者开了一家餐馆，但他们不知道开餐馆的第一件事。
And I mean, there's so many failed bars and restaurants that lottery winners sank money into.
我的意思是，有很多失败的酒吧和餐馆，彩票中奖者都把钱投入其中。
But anything that you could do to try to find out what they need money for, even if it hadn't occurred to them.
但是你可以做任何事情来尝试找出他们需要钱做什么，即使他们没有想到。
Ed quickly worked his way up, eventually becoming the best salesmen in the company, with a corner office and a multiple six-figure income.
埃德很快就晋升了，最终成为公司最好的推销员，拥有一间角落办公室和六位数的收入。
One thing to keep in mind.
要记住一件事。
Ed was a middleman.
艾德是一个中间人。
He wasn't buying the lottery payments for himself, but on behalf of investors who put up a lump sum of cash now for a guaranteed income stream over the next 20 years.
他并不是为自己买彩票，而是代表投资者，他们现在投入了一笔现金，以获得未来 20 年有保障的收入流。
So if an investor was willing to pay, say, $500,000, and Ed got the lottery winner to agree to $480,000, then the firm made $20,000, A big portion of which went to Ed.
因此，如果投资者愿意支付 50 万美元，而埃德让彩票中奖者同意支付 48 万美元，那么公司就赚了 2 万美元，其中很大一部分都归埃德所有。
The smaller the amount Ed got the lottery winner to agree to, the more money Ed made.
埃德让彩票中奖者同意的金额越小，埃德赚的钱就越多。
And so the last thing Ed wanted to do was get into a deep discussion about the ins and outs of every deal, which, surprisingly, most lottery winners didn't want to do either.
因此，埃德最不想做的就是深入讨论每笔交易的来龙去脉，而令人惊讶的是，大多数彩票中奖者也不想这样做。
What Ed found was that, if lottery winners felt like they could relate to him, could trust him, then they'd be much more willing to do the deal, no matter what the terms.
埃德发现，如果彩票中奖者觉得他们可以与他建立联系，可以信任他，那么他们会更愿意做这笔交易，无论条款是什么。
And Ed found it wasn't hard to get them comfortable because they actually had a lot in common.
埃德发现让他们感到舒服并不难，因为他们实际上有很多共同点。
It was just a natural fit for me.
这对我来说很自然。
One of the biggest things that helped me was my intimate understanding of the mind of a gambler.
对我帮助最大的事情之一就是我对赌徒心理的深入了解。
A fellow I did a deal with in Florida, we went to a notary to get certain pages of the contracts, all the contracts needed to be signed.
我在佛罗里达州与一位同事做了一笔交易，我们去公证处获取了合同的某些页面，所有合同都需要签署。
Some of the signature pages needed to be notarized.
部分签名页需要公证。
And this notary happened to also sell lottery tickets.
而这个公证人恰好也卖彩票。
And when we went and got these pages notarized, he whipped out a wad of bills out of his pocket and bought 1,000 scratch tickets while the notary slash lottery ticket salesperson was notarizing the signature pages on his contract to sell me his annuity from the lottery win.
当我们去公证这些页面时，他从口袋里掏出一叠钞票，买了 1,000 张刮刮乐彩票，而公证斜杠彩票销售人员正在公证他合同上的签名页，向我出售他从彩票中奖中获得的年金。
He was sitting there.
他正坐在那里。
He didn't even look at the contracts.
他连合同都没看。
He's just scratching away.
他只是在抓挠。
He couldn't even wait to get away from the booth.
他甚至迫不及待地想离开摊位。
I'll never forget the way the notary looked at me sort of in awe.
我永远不会忘记公证员用敬畏的眼神看着我。
And yeah, it was a little daunting, a little bizarre seeing it.
是的，看到它有点令人畏惧，有点奇怪。
But I knew just who this cat was.
但我知道这只猫是谁。
I'd been that guy.
我就是那个人。
And I would like to think that maybe I was a little bit better than scratch tickets in the airport, but I don't know that scratch tickets in the airport are that much classier than video poker machines in the strip clubs of Oregon.
我想也许我比机场的刮刮票好一点，但我不知道机场的刮刮票比俄勒冈州脱衣舞俱乐部的视频扑克机优雅得多。
Do you think that that was part of what made you good, that you could see yourself making the exact same choices that they had made?
你是否认为这是让你变得优秀的部分原因，你可以看到自己做出与他们所做的完全相同的选择？
I think it was my secret weapon.
我认为这是我的秘密武器。
Forget about what I pretended to be in the office, but I knew who I was when I looked in the mirror.
忘记我在办公室里假装的样子，但当我照镜子时，我知道自己是谁。
And I knew I was a lottery winner.
我知道我是彩票中奖者。
I just never bought a ticket.
我只是从来没有买过票。
We've all heard stories about how winning the lottery can be a mixed blessing, with the unwanted attention and the cousins of friends of coworkers looking for handouts.
我们都听过这样的故事：中了彩票是一件喜忧参半的事情，其中包括不必要的关注以及同事朋友的表兄弟寻求施舍。
But when Ed discusses lottery winners, it can sound like he's talking about someone getting cancer.
但当埃德讨论彩票中奖者时，听起来就像是在谈论某人得了癌症。
Because in his experience, it's not even a mixed blessing.
因为以他的经验来看，这根本算不上是喜忧参半。
It's a catastrophe.
这是一场灾难。
Of the winners he's met, he figures 80% of them wished they'd never won.
他估计，在他遇到的获奖者中，80% 的人希望自己从未获奖。
More money often just intensifies your own worst tendencies and allows you to get in much worse trouble, be it through gambling, philandering, drinking, or just plain boneheadedness than you ever could have at $15 an hour.
更多的钱往往只会加剧你自己最坏的倾向，让你陷入比每小时 15 美元更糟糕的麻烦，无论是赌博、花花公子、酗酒，还是纯粹的愚蠢。
And, he says, it makes you paranoid.
而且，他说，这会让你变得偏执。
He did a deal with one woman.
他和一个女人做了一笔交易。
He showed up at her house for their appointment.
他出现在她家参加他们的约会。
I get into her front yard and the second I opened-- there's a gate to her front yard.
我走进她的前院，我一打开门——她的前院有一扇门。
And she opened her front door, purposely letting out maybe seven or eight huge dogs that cornered me.
她打开前门，故意放出七八条把我逼到墙角的大狗。
I'm a dog person.
我是一个爱狗的人。
I grew up with dogs.
我是和狗一起长大的。
I love dogs, but not these dogs.
我喜欢狗，但不喜欢这些狗。
These dogs literally cornered me in the corner of her yard.
这些狗简直把我逼到了她院子的角落里。
And I kept this sort of smile on my face thinking that, OK, this is a little awkward, but I don't want to ruin the deal.
我脸上一直挂着这样的微笑，心想，好吧，这有点尴尬，但我不想破坏这笔交易。
She's obviously coming out to deal with the dogs.
她显然是出来对付狗的。
She's going to come and she's going to pull the dogs off me.
她会过来，把狗从我身上拉走。
But she just sort of cracked her head outside.
但她只是在外面敲开了头。
And I'm sitting there.
我就坐在那里。
I have my hands up and I have my briefcase over my shoulder.
我举起双手，肩上扛着公文包。
And she says to me, she says, do you have an offer?
她对我说，你有工作邀请吗？
I thought she was kidding.
我以为她是在开玩笑。
At first I did.
起初我确实这么做了。
I laughed.
我笑了。
I remember nervously laughing.
我记得紧张地笑了。
But it kind of quickly occurred to me that maybe these dogs out in the yard wasn't fully a mistake on her part.
但我很快就想到，也许院子里的这些狗并不完全是她的错误。
If nothing else, it surely got my attention.
如果不出意外的话，它确实引起了我的注意。
And I will tell you, it worked.
我会告诉你，它有效。
It did.
确实如此。
I mean those dogs made her at least $10,000.
我的意思是这些狗至少让她赚了 10,000 美元。
But the dogs were just the tip of the paranoia iceberg.
但这些狗只是偏执狂的冰山一角。
The woman agreed to Ed's figure from her doorway, grabbed her keys, and said, let's go.
女人在门口答应了艾德的身影，抓起钥匙，说，我们走吧。
They headed to the notary, she in her car, Ed in his rental.
他们前往公证处，她开着自己的车，艾德则开着他的出租屋。
But when Ed pulled into the parking space at the notary, the woman zoomed away.
但当艾德把车开进公证处的停车位时，那个女人却迅速离开了。
Eventually, she called Ed from a pay phone and told him that she was reconsidering.
最终，她用公用电话给埃德打了电话，告诉他她正在重新考虑。
Ed tried to talk her down over the phone, but this was a little difficult.
艾德试图通过电话说服她，但这有点困难。
I guess she had watched too many cop shows or too many movies, because even though I'd been at her house, and I'd spoken to her on the phone, and I knew what her phone number was, and I knew where to find if I wanted her, she was afraid, somehow, that on my cellphone that I would be able to figure out where she was if she stayed on the phone with me for more than 30 seconds at a time.
我猜她看了太多警匪片或太多电影，因为尽管我去过她家，我在电话里和她说过话，我知道她的电话号码，也知道如果我想要她的话到哪里去找她，但她不知何故害怕，如果她一次和我通话超过30秒，我就能通过我的手机知道她在哪里。
Because in the movies-- and who knows if it's true-- but classically, that's how long it takes to tap a phone or to do a search, or whatever it, where you find out their location.
因为在电影中——谁知道这是不是真的——但传统上，这就是敲击电话或进行搜索或其他任何方式所需的时间，你可以在其中找到他们的位置。
So for the next two days, I'm down in this town in Virginia.
接下来的两天，我会在弗吉尼亚州的这个小镇上度过。
And we developed a whole new relationship on the phone, sort of starting from scratch and going through the entire sales process.
我们在电话上建立了一种全新的关系，从头开始，经历整个销售流程。
But now, we'd be talking and you could literally set your watch to it.
但现在，我们正在交谈，您实际上可以将手表设置为它。
And we would talk for-- you know, 30 seconds isn't a hell of a long time when you're try to get a deal done.
我们会讨论——你知道，当你试图达成交易时，30 秒并不是很长的时间。
And every 30 seconds, boom, she'd hang up again.
每隔 30 秒，砰，她就会再次挂断电话。
And she'd call right back.
她会立即回电。
Or she'd wait a minute or two, or whatever it was.
或者她会等一两分钟，或者无论如何。
But the one thing I tried to do was not to talk too fast.
但我试图做的一件事就是不要说得太快。
I didn't want to seem like I was fazed by the fact that I only had 30 seconds.
我不想让自己因为自己只有 30 秒的时间而感到困惑。
And so I'd be very casual.
所以我会非常随意。
And I'd ask her how she's doing and if she's thought anymore about it.
我会问她过得怎么样，是否还有想过这件事。
And then sometimes in the middle of a sentence she'd just hang up.
有时，她说到一半就会挂断电话。
And sometimes even when she was feeling, I guess, a little bit more relaxed, she'd forget about the 30 seconds and I'd even remind her.
有时，我想，即使她感觉稍微放松一点，她也会忘记这 30 秒，我什至会提醒她。
And then she'd hang up.
然后她就会挂断电话。
And I'd sit there and wait and then she'd call me back on my phone.
我会坐在那里等待，然后她会给我回电话。
And this went on for two days.
这种情况持续了两天。
That's the way, in the end, that we were able to get our deal done, is if she was able to regain a sense of control that she somehow felt she had lost pulling into the notary.
最终，我们能够完成交易的方式就是，如果她能够重新获得一种控制感，而她不知何故觉得自己失去了对公证人的吸引力。
Do you think that she was that paranoid before, or do you think this was all because she was a lottery winner?
你认为她以前就是那么偏执，还是因为她是彩票中奖者？
I think that it was as a direct result of the lottery.
我认为这是彩票的直接结果。
I think that it was an absolute cause effect.
我认为这是绝对的因果关系。
Ed left his job after seven years, partly for reasons anyone leaves a high stakes, high pressure sales job: the stress, the competition, the constant travel.
埃德在七年后离开了工作，部分原因是任何人离开高风险、高压力的销售工作：压力、竞争、经常出差。
But there was another part, too.
但还有另一部分。
Ed believed in the lump sum option.
埃德相信一次性付款的选择。
Still does.
仍然如此。
It makes more sense to take the money up front and invest it, than it does to let the state hold onto it interest free for 20 years.
预先拿钱进行投资比让国家无息持有20年更有意义。
But it doesn't necessarily make sense to buy the lump sum from Ed, the middle man, because he's taking a cut for himself.
但从中间人艾德那里一次性购买并不一定有意义，因为他自己从中提成。
And this was the inescapable truth to Ed's job, a truth that, because he identified so much with lottery winners, he found it especially hard to ignore.
这是埃德工作中不可避免的事实，因为他非常认同彩票中奖者，所以他发现这个事实特别难以忽视。
The more the lottery winners liked him, the less likely they were to notice how big a cut he took.
彩票中奖者越喜欢他，就越不可能注意到他拿了多少钱。
And the more desperate they were for cash, the more lucrative Ed's deal was likely to be.
他们越急需现金，埃德的交易可能就越有利可图。
There was a fella who needed to do a deal and needed to do a deal right away.
有一个家伙需要做一笔交易，并且需要立即做一笔交易。
And in the lump sum game, that's real good.
在一次性游戏中，这真的很好。
But the reason that it gave me sort of the heebie-jeebies was why he needed to do the deal.
但这让我有点惊慌的原因是他需要做这笔交易。
This fella, who's a terrific guy, but he needed to sell his entire prize in five minutes, so he could put a half million dollars into a very famous defense attorney's bank account so that he, the attorney, would defend his son, the lottery winner's son, in a murder trial.
这个家伙是个了不起的家伙，但他需要在五分钟内卖掉他的全部奖金，这样他就可以将五十万美元存入一位非常著名的辩护律师的银行账户，这样他，这位律师，就可以在谋杀案审判中为他的儿子，彩票中奖者的儿子辩护。
And the son, as we speak, was found guilty.
就在我们说话的时候，儿子被判有罪。
He was found guilty in his appeal.
他在上诉中被判有罪。
A young kid, 18, 19 years old, killed a woman.
一名 18 岁、19 岁的小孩杀死了一名妇女。
And this winner, he had to get in bed with the lump sum industry and he had to sell his payment under very rushed circumstances, which, of course, is to his detriment.
而这位获胜者，他不得不与一次性付款行业打交道，他不得不在非常仓促的情况下出售他的付款，这当然对他不利。
And he had to do all that because he was trying to save his son from going to prison for the rest of his life.
他必须做这一切，因为他试图让他的儿子免于在监狱里度过余生。
And in the end, he got a good deal, but we made a few dollars, too.
最后，他得到了一笔很好的交易，但我们也赚了几美元。
And I think that that sort of ambiguity was always present in a lottery deal.
我认为彩票交易中总是存在这种模糊性。
It was always there.
它一直在那里。
It was always sort of riding shotgun in the car with me, that, yeah, I might be solving his problem, but I'm sure as hell not hurting mine.
我总是在车里骑着猎枪，是的，我可能会解决他的问题，但我确信不会伤害我的问题。
And it's also sort of like in a way you're profiting from his problem.
这也有点像你从他的问题中获利。
Not in a way, absolutely.
绝对不是。
And there's nothing wrong with that, but isn't there?
这并没有什么问题，但是不是吗？
That's OK.
没关系。
I mean, people profit all the time from other people's problems, but it never made me feel great.
我的意思是，人们总是从别人的问题中获益，但这从来没有让我感觉很棒。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Like, you were looking for people that were in bad shape because people who are in bad shape put me in good shape.
就像，你正在寻找身体状况不佳的人，因为身体状况不佳的人使我的身体状况良好。
In the year since Ed first got into the business, the lump sum industry has gone through huge changes.
自从艾德刚入行的一年里，包干行业发生了巨大的变化。
New companies entered the field, increasing competition.
新公司进入该领域，加剧了竞争。
The states themselves got into the action.
各州自己也采取了行动。
A decade ago, almost none of them offered a lump sum option to their lottery winners.
十年前，几乎没有一家公司向彩票中奖者提供一次性付款的选择。
Today, almost all of them do.
今天，几乎所有人都这么做了。
And they offer pretty much the exact same terms Ed was offering, roughly $0.5 million up front on a $1 million win, but minus, of course, Ed's commission.
他们提供的条件与 Ed 提供的条件几乎完全相同，即赢得 100 万美元后预付大约 50 万美元，但当然要减去 Ed 的佣金。
The state has effectively cut out the middlemen like Ed.
国家有效地消除了像埃德这样的中间人。
The overwhelming majority of winners take their deal.
绝大多数获胜者都会接受他们的交易。
Alex Blumberg is one of the producers of our program.
亚历克斯·布隆伯格是我们节目的制作人之一。
Ed Ugel has written a book about his time in the lottery industry.
埃德·乌格尔（Ed Ugel）写了一本关于他在彩票行业的经历的书。
It comes out in September and is called, Money for Nothing.
它于九月出版，名为《Money for Nothing》。
Coming up, out on the frontier, treading the new world.
挺身而出，踏上边境，踏上新世界。
The only thing lacking is a salt shaker.
唯一缺少的是盐瓶。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
[MUSIC - "WORK SONG" BY VINCE GUERALDI]
[音乐 - 文斯·盖拉尔迪的“工作之歌”]
It's This American Life , I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来关于该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's show, Nice Work If You Can Get It, stories about people who land dream jobs, and how even dream jobs have parts that aren't really necessary so dreamy.
今天的节目《干得好，如果你能得到它》讲述了人们获得梦想工作的故事，以及即使是梦想工作也有一些不必要的部分如此梦幻。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, The Homesick Explorer.
第三幕，想家的探险家。
When we think of the Fremont expeditions to map the American West, as we so often do, we think of epic men, the kind of men who don't call their jobs jobs.
当我们想到弗里蒙特绘制美国西部地图的探险队时，就像我们经常做的那样，我们想到的是史诗般的人物，那种不把自己的工作称为工作的人。
They call their jobs destinies.
他们称自己的工作为“命运”。
Well, Sarah Vowell has some thoughts about one of the lesser-known guys on that trip, and the job he did.
莎拉·沃威尔对那次旅行中一位不太出名的人以及他所做的工作有一些想法。
John Charles Fremont was the spirited flashing light of a man from whom Las Vegas' flashy, lit-up Fremont Street would one day get its name.
约翰·查尔斯·弗里蒙特 (John Charles Fremont) 是一个充满活力的闪光人物，拉斯维加斯华丽、灯火通明的弗里蒙特街有一天会因他而得名。
In 1842, the United States government sent him to lead one of the most important expeditions of the 19th century, a mission to make maps and issue reports on what would come to be called the Oregon Trail.
1842 年，美国政府派他领导 19 世纪最重要的探险活动之一，任务是绘制地图并发布有关后来被称为“俄勒冈小道”的报告。
He hired the famous fur trapper and mountaineer, Kit Carson, to be the expedition scout.
他聘请了著名的毛皮捕猎者和登山家基特·卡森（Kit Carson）担任探险队侦察员。
To make maps and drawings along the way, Fremont employed a German immigrant named Charles Preuss.
为了沿途绘制地图和绘图，弗里蒙特雇用了一位名叫查尔斯·普鲁斯的德国移民。
Fremont's lively report to Congress of his findings, illustrated with Preuss's drawings and maps, became a bestseller.
弗里蒙特向国会生动地报告了他的发现，并配以普鲁士的图画和地图，成为畅销书。
And Preuss's map of the Oregon trail Congress published in 1846 was soon crammed into the glove box of every Conestoga rolling West.
国会于 1846 年出版的普鲁斯 (Preuss) 绘制的俄勒冈小道地图很快就被塞进了西部康尼斯托加每个人的手套箱里。
If you ever had to reach across a copy of the Book of Mormon blocking the Parmesan cheese at a pizza place outside of Provo, it's because Brigham Young was so intrigued with Fremont's description of the bucolic area surrounding Utah's Great Salt Lake, he promptly moved his Mormon brethren there.
如果你在普罗沃郊外的一家披萨店里遇到过一本《摩门教之书》，里面有帕尔马干酪，那是因为杨百翰对弗里蒙特对犹他州大盐湖周围田园风光的描述非常感兴趣，所以他立即将他的摩门教弟兄搬到了那里。
So Charles Preuss was one of the most important, influential, and talented cartographers of his generation.
因此，查尔斯·普鲁斯是他这一代最重要、最有影响力、最有才华的制图师之一。
Problem was, this excellent mapmaker just so happened to loathe pretty much every minute of actual exploring.
问题是，这位优秀的地图制作者碰巧讨厌实际探索的每一分钟。
Preuss's diaries from his three trips out West with Fremont seethe with manly, gung-ho cowboy bravery like--
普鲁斯与弗里蒙特三次西部旅行的日记充满了男子气概、狂热的牛仔勇气，比如——
I wish I were at the market with a shopping basket.
我希望我带着购物篮去市场。
Or, mulling over the roasting mule meat that is to be his dinner.
或者，仔细考虑作为他晚餐的烤骡肉。
What a treat it would be with a bottle of wine.
如果再配上一瓶葡萄酒，该是多么美妙的享受啊。
But stop, that thought is too beautiful.
但停下来，这个想法太美丽了。
Preuss's boss on the trip, John Charles Fremont, was manifest destiny's advance man.
普鲁士此行的老板约翰·查尔斯·弗里蒙特是命运的先行者。
As a young surveyor, he'd cut his teeth mapping the Cherokee lands in the southeast in the 1830s, so the US government had an accurate account of the real estate it was about to steal.
作为一名年轻的测量员，他在 1830 年代开始绘制东南部切罗基人土地的地图，因此美国政府对其将要窃取的房地产有了准确的了解。
Later on, Fremont came home from his expeditions out West a hero and celebrity.
后来，弗里蒙特从西部探险归来，成为英雄和名人。
His nickname, "The Pathfinder." He went on to become the first presidential candidate of the Republican party.
他的绰号是“探路者”。他后来成为共和党第一位总统候选人。
And the signature image used for all his later self-promotion, including his presidential campaign, was one incident from his Western journeys.
他后来所有的自我宣传（包括总统竞选）所使用的标志性形象就是他的西方之旅中的一件事。
It became the iconic moment of his life, what crossing the Delaware was for Washington, what tripping over the ottoman was for Dick Van Dyke.
这成为他一生中的标志性时刻，对于华盛顿来说，就像穿越特拉华州一样，对于迪克·范戴克来说，被脚凳绊倒也是如此。
Fremont climbed alone to what he thought was the highest peak in the Rockies, stood up straight and tall and jabbed an American flag into the mountain top, Old Glory whipping defiantly in the icy wind.
弗里蒙特独自攀登了他认为是落基山脉的最高峰，笔直地站着，将一面美国国旗刺入山顶，古老的荣耀在冰冷的寒风中挑衅地飘扬。
Think about the kind of person you have to be to do that, to be so unapologetically grand.
想想你必须成为什么样的人才能做到这一点，才能如此毫无歉意地伟大。
Preuss, meanwhile, was farther down the mountain, striking a less Neil Armstrongy pose.
与此同时，普鲁斯在山下更远的地方，摆出不像尼尔·阿姆斯特朗那样的姿势。
I slipped, sat down on my pants, and slid downhill at a great speed.
我脚下一滑，坐在裤子上，以极快的速度滑下山坡。
Although I made all efforts to hold back by trying to dig my fingers into the icy crust, I slid down about 200 feet until the bare rock stopped me again.
尽管我竭尽全力试图将手指插入冰冷的地壳中以阻止，但我还是滑落了大约 200 英尺，直到裸露的岩石再次阻止了我。
When I arrived, I rolled over twice and got away with two light bruises, one on my right arm, and one on my arse.
当我到达时，我翻了两次身，身上有两处轻伤，一处在我的右臂上，一处在我的屁股上。
The pain made me sit still for a few minutes.
疼痛让我静坐了几分钟。
Fremont wrote of this climb that, standing where never a human foot had stood before, that he "felt the exaltation of first explorers."
弗里蒙特在描述这次攀登时表示，站在人类从未站过的地方，他“感受到了第一批探险家的兴奋”。
Preuss put it this way.
普鲁士是这样说的。
Dermot Mulroney All my pants are torn.
德莫特·莫罗尼 我所有的裤子都破了。
Preuss's resentment of the bugs, the landscape, the Indians, and the monotony, pales compared to his many varied flipouts about food.
普鲁斯对虫子、风景、印第安人和单调的不满与他对食物的各种愤怒相比显得苍白无力。
His entry for June 12, 1842 cheers up with the slaughter of an ox.
1842 年 6 月 12 日，他的作品因宰杀一头牛而欢呼雀跃。
Preuss thinks that after the meat ages overnight--
普鲁斯认为肉在一夜之间老化之后——
Tomorrow, to be sure, it will taste excellent.
明天，可以肯定的是，它的味道会很棒。
June 13.
6 月 13 日。
Dermot Mulroney It did not taste excellent.
德莫特·莫罗尼 味道不太好。
Preuss has an entire subset of food complaints involving salt and the lack thereof.
普鲁斯有一整套涉及盐和缺乏盐的食品投诉。
One of his happiest entries takes place in the Sierra Mountains on February 15, 1843, near what is now the California-Nevada border.
1843 年 2 月 15 日，他最快乐的一次入境发生在塞拉山脉，靠近现在的加利福尼亚州和内华达州边界。
The great good news is that the men have bartered rock salt from the Indians.
好消息是，这些人已经与印第安人交换了岩盐。
Just now, Taplin is bringing in a big lump.
刚才，塔普林带来了一大堆东西。
Preuss was so giddy about the salt that he doesn't mention what the expedition was doing while they were waiting around for the seasoning to show up: discovering Lake Tahoe.
普鲁斯对盐太着迷了，以至于他没有提及探险队在等待调味料出现时正在做什么：发现太浩湖。
It makes sense that Preuss, a man who was outstanding at measuring and drawing and using barometric data to construct a two-dimensional topographical representation of a mountain, might suck at climbing said mountain.
普鲁斯在测量、绘画以及利用气压数据构建山脉的二维地形表示方面表现出色，但他可能不擅长攀登这座山，这是有道理的。
Cartography was Preuss's calling.
制图学是普鲁斯的使命。
But in order for him to do the job he loved to do, he had to live a life he hated.
但为了让他做他喜欢做的工作，他不得不过他讨厌的生活。
The thing I admire most about Charles Preuss is that Fremont, his boss, apparently had no idea just how miserable the cartographer was on the job.
我最钦佩查尔斯·普鲁斯的一点是，他的老板弗里蒙特显然不知道这位制图师的工作有多痛苦。
Preuss' diaries were meant for one reader, his wife, and they weren't published until 1958, after Preuss and all his colleagues had been dead for a century.
普鲁斯的日记是写给一位读者的，即他的妻子，直到 1958 年，普鲁斯和他的所有同事都去世一个世纪后，这些日记才出版。
In fact, Fremont commended Preuss for "his even temper and patient endurance of hardship," noting Preuss had a "cheerful philosophy of his own, which often brightened dark situations."
事实上，弗里蒙特称赞普鲁斯“脾气平和，对困难有耐心”，并指出普鲁斯有“他自己的快乐哲学，常常使黑暗的情况变得光明”。
I respect that.
我尊重这一点。
Preuss had a job to do and he bucked up and did it.
普鲁斯有一项工作要做，他鼓起勇气去做了。
The other people on these expeditions, John Charles Fremont, and his legendary scout, Kit Carson, are the sort of grand, hardy, how-the-west-was-won figures who are easily made into colossal statues.
这些探险队中的其他人，约翰·查尔斯·弗里蒙特和他的传奇侦察兵基特·卡森，都是那种伟大、顽强、西部征服的人物，很容易被塑造成巨大的雕像。
But there's something comforting, even heroic, about a human scale footnote like Preuss, a man who made history even though all he ever wanted was to make maps.
但像普鲁斯这样的人性尺度脚注有一些令人安慰的东西，甚至是英雄般的东西，一个创造历史的人，尽管他只想制作地图。
Sarah Vowell.
莎拉·沃威尔。
She's the author most recently of Assassination Vacation.
她是《刺杀假期》的最新作者。
Charles Preuss' diaries were read by actor Dermot Mulroney.
查尔斯·普鲁斯的日记由演员德蒙特·莫罗尼阅读。
[MUSIC - "DESERT BLUES" BY JIMMIE RODGERS]
[音乐 - 吉米·罗杰斯的《沙漠蓝调》]
Well, we end our show today with somebody who was blocked from getting their dream job, blocked by the government of the United States of America.
好吧，我们今天的节目以一个被美利坚合众国政府阻止而无法获得梦想工作的人结束。
Douglas McGray has the story.
道格拉斯·麦克格雷有这个故事。
He's changed the name of the woman in this story to protect her identity.
他更改了故事中该女子的名字以保护她的身份。
Martha doesn't like to talk about her future anymore.
玛莎不再喜欢谈论她的未来。
She'd wanted to go to med school, become an OB/GYN.
她想去医学院，成为一名妇产科医生。
And she's exactly the kind of kid everyone roots for.
她正是那种每个人都支持的孩子。
She grew up in a poor, mostly immigrant neighborhood in east LA, where most people didn't graduate from high school, and nobody talked about college.
她在洛杉矶东部一个贫穷的、主要是移民的社区长大，那里的大多数人都没有高中毕业，没有人谈论大学。
But Martha got into UCLA.
但玛莎进入了加州大学洛杉矶分校。
She couldn't believe it, UCLA.
她简直不敢相信，加州大学洛杉矶分校。
She majored in chemistry, threw herself into six-hour lab sessions, ran a volunteer organization on campus.
她主修化学，全身心投入六个小时的实验室课程，还在校园里经营一个志愿者组织。
But the fact is, she can't become a doctor.
但事实是，她成不了医生。
She can't work at all in the United States, not legally, anyway.
无论如何，她根本无法在美国工作，无论是合法的。
She's an undocumented immigrant.
她是一名无证移民。
Her mother brought her to the US from Mexico when she was nine.
她九岁时，母亲将她从墨西哥带到美国。
So now she's a waitress, earning minimum wage, working off the books.
所以现在她是一名女服务员，赚取最低工资，做账本外的工作。
And it may be the best job she can hope to get.
这可能是她希望得到的最好的工作。
The worst part?
最糟糕的部分？
Well, first of all, I suck at it.
嗯，首先，我很讨厌它。
My boss always gets these complaints for me.
我的老板总是替我收到这些投诉。
Oh, she takes too long to get my drinks.
哦，她花了太长时间才给我拿饮料。
She forgot to put this on my order.
她忘了把这个放在我的订单上。
She changed my order.
她改变了我的订单。
I asked her well done and she brought medium.
我问她做得好，她带来了中等。
And I'm extremely clumsy.
而我又极其笨拙。
I really suck at it.
我真的很讨厌它。
I can't multitask.
我无法同时处理多项任务。
I'm horrible at that.
我对此感到很可怕。
I don't know what's wrong with me.
我不知道我出了什么问题。
I'm very clumsy by nature and you can't be a clumsy waitress.
我生性很笨拙，你不能当一个笨手笨脚的服务员。
You know, that's like an oxymoron.
你知道，这就像一个矛盾修辞法。
And that's one thing.
这是一回事。
And the other thing is I am a very proud person.
另一件事是我是一个非常自豪的人。
I don't like people treating me a certain way.
我不喜欢人们以某种方式对待我。
So many people have come and told me, oh, here, here's $20 for the milk for your baby boy.
很多人来告诉我，哦，这里，这是给你的男婴买的牛奶 20 美元。
People look at me and right off the bat assume that I have a bunch of children, I'm probably a single mother.
人们看着我，立刻就认为我有一群孩子，我可能是一个单身母亲。
And that bothers me.
这让我很烦恼。
And I don't know.
我不知道。
I think being a waitress bothers me because people don't see my potential.
我认为当女服务员让我很困扰，因为人们看不到我的潜力。
When Martha arrived at UCLA, she figured she'd be the only undocumented kid there.
当玛莎到达加州大学洛杉矶分校时，她认为自己是那里唯一的无证孩子。
But she was wrong.
但她错了。
She found others.
她找到了其他人。
A high school valedictorian and prom queen from Compton who went to UCLA when the Marines rejected her.
来自康普顿的高中毕业生致辞者和舞会皇后，在海军陆战队拒绝她后前往加州大学洛杉矶分校。
Only legal residents can enlist.
只有合法居民才能入伍。
Another valedictorian, brought to the United States as an infant who spoke her first word in English.
另一位在婴儿时期被带到美国的告别演说者，用英语说出了她的第一个词。
A shy girl who arrived as a toddler and took 11 AP classes in high school.
一个害羞的女孩，还是个蹒跚学步的孩子时就来到这里，在高中时选修了 11 门 AP 课程。
They're a tiny, close community.
他们是一个微小而紧密的社区。
They actually have a small student club.
他们实际上有一个小型学生俱乐部。
They go out and mentor undocumented high school kids and raise money for scholarships.
他们出去指导无证高中生并筹集奖学金资金。
And they understand each other in a way that no one else can, like what they go through to stay in school.
他们以一种其他人无法理解的方式相互理解，就像他们在学校所经历的那样。
Most live really far from campus.
大多数人住的地方离校园很远。
Two and a half hours in Martha's case.
玛莎的情况是两个半小时。
And they have to be creative to survive.
他们必须具有创造力才能生存。
Being on hobo mode is something that we students, undocumented students, specifically, that's what we call it.
流浪汉模式是我们学生，无证学生，特别是我们所说的。
It's living on campus because we don't have a home near campus because we can't afford it.
我们住在校园里，因为我们在校园附近没有房子，因为我们买不起。
It's really expensive.
真的很贵。
So we'd stay here days at a time.
所以我们一次会在这里呆几天。
Sometimes a week.
有时一周。
Or sometimes, in my case, I did it weeks at a time.
或者有时，就我而言，我一次做几周。
I would stay in the library and sleep in the library.
我会呆在图书馆里，睡在图书馆里。
I would store my food in, like, a lounge in a building.
我会把食物存放在建筑物的休息室之类的地方。
I would take showers in the locker room.
我会在更衣室洗澡。
And I would store all my clothing because I'd bring underwear.
我会存放所有衣服，因为我会带内衣。
I'd bring a change of clothes for every single day and store it in the locker room.
我每天都会带一套换洗的衣服，然后把它存放在更衣室里。
It's really difficult to do that.
做到这一点确实很难。
And also, it's kind of stigmatizing because you kind of get ashamed if people find out you're in hobo mode.
而且，这也是一种耻辱，因为如果人们发现你处于流浪汉模式，你会感到羞愧。
20 years ago, California allowed undocumented kids to go to state universities with financial aid and everything.
20 年前，加州允许无证儿童在经济援助和一切条件下进入州立大学。
Five years later, the courts reversed that.
五年后，法院推翻了这一决定。
Kids like Martha would have to pay huge out-of-state fees.
像玛莎这样的孩子必须支付巨额的州外费用。
Four years after that, a ballot initiative barred undocumented kids from college altogether.
四年后，一项投票倡议完全禁止无证儿童上大学。
Then the courts got involved again.
随后法院再次介入。
Today, the laws for someone like Martha are different in every state.
如今，每个州对像玛莎这样的人的法律都不同。
10 states, including California and Texas, allow undocumented kids to go to state schools and pay in-state tuition, but no financial aid, no Pell Grant, no work study job, not even a student loan.
包括加利福尼亚州和德克萨斯州在内的10个州允许无证儿童去公立学校上学并支付州内学费，但没有经济援助，没有佩尔助学金，没有勤工俭学工作，甚至没有学生贷款。
To apply for a green card, which would solve all their problems, Martha would have to quit school, move to Mexico, wait in a line that can stretch 10 or 15 years, and most likely get rejected.
为了申请可以解决所有问题的绿卡，玛莎必须退学，搬到墨西哥，排队等待 10 到 15 年，而且很可能会被拒绝。
Last year, Martha found a perfect job to support herself, on campus even.
去年，玛莎找到了一份完美的工作来养活自己，甚至是在校园里。
But she couldn't accept it.
但她无法接受。
A UCLA professor needed a research assistant, someone to help her interview Spanish-speaking families in East LA.
加州大学洛杉矶分校的一位教授需要一名研究助理，帮助她采访东洛杉矶的西班牙语家庭。
Martha knew the neighborhood, spoke Spanish fluently.
玛莎熟悉这个街区，西班牙语说得流利。
The professor called Martha to say she got the job.
教授打电话给玛莎，说她得到了这份工作。
And I got the phone call.
我接到电话了。
I was so excited.
我很兴奋。
I was like, oh my God.
我当时想，天啊。
This is a really good job.
这真是一份好工作。
But it didn't click to me that I was going to be on the payroll.
但我并没有意识到我将被列入工资单。
I thought, oh, well, maybe she can just pay me cash or whatever.
我想，哦，好吧，也许她可以付给我现金或其他什么。
I was very naive.
我很天真。
And I was really bummed out.
我真的很沮丧。
But I try not to think about it too much.
但我尽量不去想太多。
What kept you motivated through all of this?
是什么让你有动力完成这一切？
Med school.
医学院。
I want to go to med school.
我想去医学院。
I wanted to be-- I still want to.
我想成为——我仍然想成为。
I mean, there's still a possibility it could happen, it's just not now.
我的意思是，它仍然有可能发生，只是不是现在。
I want to be a doctor because I've always seen myself as a public servant.
我想成为一名医生，因为我一直将自己视为一名公务员。
But I also see myself as a scientist.
但我也将自己视为一名科学家。
And to me, that's the only thing that I see myself doing.
对我来说，这是我认为自己在做的唯一一件事。
Because it gains you respect from people.
因为它会让你赢得人们的尊重。
And well, right now, I try not to think about it because it depresses me that I can't do it right now.
好吧，现在，我尽量不去想它，因为我现在做不到这件事让我感到沮丧。
Listening to you, I get the sense that you think that respect is something you have to fight for.
听你的话，我感觉到你认为尊重是你必须为之奋斗的东西。
Yes.
是的。
Unfortunately, not everybody gets respect just by being a human being.
不幸的是，并不是每个人都因为成为人而受到尊重。
I'm not the kind of person that seeks power.
我不是那种追求权力的人。
I don't like that.
我不喜欢这样。
I don't want to rule people.
我不想统治人们。
You know, that's not what I want.
你知道，这不是我想要的。
I'm not ambitious in that sense.
从这个意义上说，我并不雄心勃勃。
I just would like to be someone whose opinion people respect.
我只是想成为一个人们尊重意见的人。
Someone like, say, oh, there's this really important issue that we need to solve and we need your help.
有人会说，哦，我们需要解决这个非常重要的问题，我们需要您的帮助。
Or someone that people will say, oh, look, there she is.
或者人们会说，哦，看，她在那儿。
Let's go talk to her because we really like her work.
让我们去和她谈谈吧，因为我们真的很喜欢她的工作。
We really like what she does.
我们真的很喜欢她所做的事情。
That kind of thing.
那种事。
When Martha and I talked, she kept calling herself a quitter.
当玛莎和我谈话时，她一直称自己是一个半途而废的人。
She said the word like it was the worst word she knew.
她说这个词的时候就好像这是她所知道的最糟糕的词一样。
She said it over and over.
她一遍又一遍地说。
I told her she was being ridiculous.
我告诉她她很可笑。
I've known Martha for almost two years and I've never seen someone put so much pressure on herself.
我认识玛莎已经快两年了，我从来没有见过有人给自己施加这么大的压力。
When her grades were mediocre, she wouldn't blame her home life, or her commute, or the pair of double waitressing shifts she worked most weekends.
当她的成绩平平时，她不会责怪她的家庭生活，或者她的通勤，或者她大多数周末工作的双轮服务员轮班。
She would just say she hadn't tried hard enough.
她只会说她还不够努力。
One quarter, desperate to find more time to study, she actually started driving to school even though it scared her to drive without a license.
有四分之一的时候，她迫切地想找到更多的时间学习，实际上她开始开车去学校，尽管这让她害怕无证驾驶。
As an undocumented immigrant, she's not allowed to get one.
作为一名无证移民，她不被允许获得这一权利。
I kept asking her, what do you mean, quitter?
我一直问她，放弃者是什么意思？
Finally, she explained.
最后，她解释道。
Fall quarter, I just gave up on myself.
秋季季度，我放弃了自己。
I dropped all my classes and I withdrew from the quarter, because I felt so tired.
我放弃了所有课程并退出了本季度，因为我感到太累了。
I felt like, I don't want to do this anymore.
我感觉，我不想再这样做了。
That was the quarter that you were going to graduate at the end of that quarter?
那是你要在该季度末毕业的季度吗？
Right at that quarter.
就在那个季度。
Can you believe that?
你能相信吗？
It was the last quarter.
那是最后一个季度。
I could have just worked harder, but I didn't.
我本可以更加努力地工作，但我没有。
I was just so overwhelmed.
我简直不知所措。
My future is so uncertain and so unbelievably sad that I think to myself, well, why should I try, like, harder?
我的未来如此不确定，又如此令人难以置信的悲伤，以至于我对自己说，好吧，我为什么要更加努力呢？
I just gave up on that.
我只是放弃了。
[CRYING] Sorry.
[哭泣] 抱歉。
I shouldn't give up because a lot of people don't and the fact that I do really hurts me.
我不应该放弃，因为很多人都没有放弃，而我放弃的事实真的伤害了我。
None of my friends know.
我的朋友们都不知道。
I didn't tell anybody.
我没有告诉任何人。
I didn't talk to anybody about it, because it's really embarrassing for me to say that I'm such a quitter.
我没有和任何人谈论这件事，因为说我是一个放弃者真的很尴尬。
What happened to Martha is she saw graduation approaching and after it, nothing.
玛莎发生的事情是，她看到毕业即将来临，但毕业后却什么也没有。
The blankness of her future, suddenly only weeks away, drained the fight right out of her.
突然之间，距离她的未来只剩下几周的时间，她的前途一片空白，这让她失去了斗志。
Her entire college career seemed like a mean joke.
她的整个大学生涯看起来就像一个卑鄙的笑话。
She had exhausted herself working twice as hard as most of her classmates to get a UCLA education, Plus waitressing, plus the commute, plus cooking and cleaning when her parents were working, which was most of the time.
为了获得加州大学洛杉矶分校的教育，她比大多数同学付出了两倍的努力，加上当服务员，加上通勤，加上她父母工作时的大部分时间做饭和打扫卫生，她已经筋疲力尽了。
And for what?
为了什么？
She had no way to pay for a medical degree, and no hope of becoming a licensed doctor if she did.
她没有办法支付医学学位的费用，即使支付了费用，也没有希望成为一名执业医生。
There's a very simple solution to all of this.
所有这些都有一个非常简单的解决方案。
A bill called the Dream Act would offer conditional citizenship to those few kids, like Martha, who grow up in the United States and make it to college or the military.
一项名为“梦想法案”的法案将为像玛莎这样在美国长大并进入大学或参军的少数孩子提供有条件的公民身份。
If they get a degree, or finish their service, they become full citizens.
如果他们获得学位或完成服役，他们就成为正式公民。
By 2004, the Senate version of the Dream Act had actually picked up 47 co-sponsors.
到 2004 年，参议院版本的梦想法案实际上已经获得了 47 个共同提案国。
But the Dream Act keeps getting bogged down in immigration politics, tacked onto a bunch of big, messy immigration proposals that nobody in Congress could agree on.
但梦想法案不断陷入移民政治的泥潭，附加了一堆国会中无人能同意的庞大而混乱的移民提案。
Earlier this year, the Dream Act was introduced again in the House and Senate.
今年早些时候，《梦想法案》再次在众议院和参议院提出。
How would your working life change if you became a legal resident or a citizen tomorrow?
如果您明天成为合法居民或公民，您的工作生活会发生什么变化？
Wow, the possibilities are endless.
哇，可能性是无限的。
The sky's the limit.
天空是极限。
I mean, I could take any job I wanted.
我的意思是，我可以接受任何我想要的工作。
And I'm good at a lot of things.
而且我擅长很多事情。
I mean, I could take any job at any lab.
我的意思是，我可以接受任何实验室的任何工作。
I could work for UCLA.
我可以为加州大学洛杉矶分校工作。
Sometimes I think, well, what if it's not enough, that I'll still be unhappy?
有时我会想，如果这还不够，我还会不快乐怎么办？
But the more I think about it, that's not a possibility.
但我越想越觉得不太可能。
I mean, yes, a green card's not going to buy you happiness, but it's going to buy you a lot of peace of mind.
我的意思是，是的，绿卡不会给你带来幸福，但它会给你带来很多安心。
It really is.
确实如此。
Just being able to work with dignity.
只要能够有尊严地工作。
Martha went back to school a few days ago, and I don't think her temporary dropout counts as quitting, no matter how she sees it.
玛莎几天前回到了学校，我不认为她暂时退学算退学，无论她怎么看。
She hasn't given up hope.
她还没有放弃希望。
Maybe the laws will change.
也许法律会改变。
Maybe there'll be a normal life for her here after all.
也许她在这里终究会过上正常的生活。
She graduates in June.
她六月毕业。
Douglas McGray.
道格拉斯·麦格雷。
He's a fellow at the New America Foundation.
他是新美国基金会的研究员。
Well, our program was produced today by Alex Blumberg and myself, with Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig, Lisa Pollak, and Nancy Updike.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由 Alex Blumberg 和我本人以及 Jane Feltes、Sarah Koenig、Lisa Pollak 和 Nancy Updike 制作的。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Seth Lind and Tommy Andres.
塞思·林德 (Seth Lind) 和汤米·安德烈斯 (Tommy Andres) 为制作提供帮助。
Music help from Jessica Hopper.
杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。
Our longtime webmaster, Elizabeth Meister, who created our website, is retiring from the website to go make radio herself.
我们的长期网站管理员伊丽莎白·梅斯特（Elizabeth Meister）创建了我们的网站，她即将从网站退休，自己去制作广播。
She has done an amazing job thinking through what it is that we would do on the internet in the first place and then making it happen for so many years.
她做了一件了不起的工作，思考了我们首先要在互联网上做什么，然后多年来让它成为现实。
I do not know what would be doing on the web without her.
我不知道如果没有她，网络上会发生什么。
Elizabeth, we all wish you the best.
伊丽莎白，我们都祝你一切顺利。
You can see the latest incarnation of our website, souped up now with podcasts and free video, at www.thisamericanlife.org.
您可以在 www.thisamericanlife.org 上看到我们网站的最新版本，现在增加了播客和免费视频。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
[致谢]《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by Mr. Torey Malatia, who cannot wait to slip into his monogrammed silk bathrobe, ease into his leather chair and listen to this week's shows.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理人员 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行了监督，他迫不及待地穿上印有字母组合的丝绸浴袍，轻松地坐在皮椅上聆听本周的节目。
What a treat it would be with a bottle of wine.
如果再配上一瓶葡萄酒，该是多么美妙的享受啊。
But stop, that thought is too beautiful.
但停下来，这个想法太美丽了。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of this American life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多关于美国生活的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。