321: Sink or Swim - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #321 | December 1, 2006 321: Sink or Swim Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 321 集 | 2006 年 12 月 1 日 321:下沉还是游泳 注:《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的,旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话,我们强烈建议您收听音频,其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的,可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Sometimes you set out walking briskly on the path to disaster, without even suspecting.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 有时,你会毫不怀疑地踏上通往灾难的道路。
Scott was 23, and he saw an ad in the paper looking for a German interpreter.
斯科特 23 岁,他在报纸上看到一则招聘德语翻译的广告。
He'd majored in German in college, lived for a year in Germany, speaking German.
他在大学主修德语,在德国生活了一年,说德语。
What could go wrong?
可能会出什么问题?
The job was with the Detroit Visitor Information Bureau.
这份工作是在底特律游客信息局工作的。
And his first assignment was a bunch of tourists who were going to the Ford Wixom plant.
他的第一个任务是带领一群前往福特威克瑟姆工厂的游客。
He met them early, at the hotel.
他很早就在酒店遇见了他们。
They seized upon me immediately and started asking me questions.
他们立即抓住我并开始问我问题。
And that's when I realized that I spoke Hochdeutsch or standard German, which is what you learn in school.
就在那时我意识到我说的是高德语或标准德语,这是你在学校学到的。
And they spoke Austrian, which sounds completely different.
他们说的是奥地利语,听起来完全不同。
And so I really couldn't understand them.
所以我真的无法理解他们。
But no time to worry about that.
但没时间担心这个。
In minutes they're all put onto buses and off to the Ford plant.
几分钟之内,他们就全部被送上公共汽车,前往福特工厂。
And I knew what was going to happen.
我知道会发生什么。
It was gradually taking shape.
已逐渐成形。
But we went in and there was a conference room.
但我们进去一看,里面有一个会议室。
A man from Ford was in there with his presentation ready to go.
福特公司的一名员工在那里准备了他的演讲。
And he said, "So where's the interpreter?" And all the Austrians gestured at me.
他说:“那么翻译在哪里?”所有的奥地利人都向我打手势。
And he said, "Good.
他说:“很好。
Shall we begin." So the man starts talking all this automobile industry jargon, sort of welcome to the Ford Wixom plant.
我们开始吧。”于是,这名男子开始谈论所有这些汽车行业术语,有点欢迎来到福特威克瑟姆工厂。
I'd like to start by explaining how a catalytic converter is implanted on our power train which moves at an estimated 1.5 meters every 10 seconds, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
我想首先解释如何将催化转换器植入到我们的动力传动系统中,该传动系统估计每 10 秒移动 1.5 米,等等,等等,等等。
And then he turned to me.
然后他转向我。
And I just sort of stammered, "Dies ist eine auto Fabrik." This is an auto factory.
我只是结结巴巴地说:“Dies ist eine auto Fabrik。”这是一家汽车工厂。
It was somewhere around this point that Scott realized this was no idle group of Austrian tourists.
就在这时,斯科特意识到这并不是一群闲着的奥地利游客。
These were people from the Austrian car industry.
这些人来自奥地利汽车行业。
And somehow they had picked as their interpreter the one guy in Detroit who knew absolutely nothing about cars.
不知何故,他们选择了底特律一个对汽车一无所知的人作为翻译。
So not only did Scott not know the German words for what they were talking about, he didn't know the English words.
因此,斯科特不仅不知道他们正在谈论的德语单词,而且也不知道英语单词。
So I'm just standing there stammering idiotically.
所以我只是站在那里结结巴巴白痴。
And they were all looking at me politely.
他们都礼貌地看着我。
And so it was a total free-fall, like if you just threw someone out on an opera stage and said sing opera.
所以这完全是自由落体,就像你把某人扔到歌剧舞台上并说唱歌剧一样。
And let me just ask you like if it were a simple sentence like, our conveyor belt operates at three miles an hour, can you even say that in German?
让我问你,如果这是一个简单的句子,比如,我们的传送带以每小时三英里的速度运行,你能用德语说吗?
No. Ira Glass One of the Austrian women stepped forward, and she tried to takeover the translating.
不,艾拉·格拉斯(Ira Glass)中的一位奥地利妇女挺身而出,试图接管翻译工作。
What Scott did would seem like the only reasonable thing at the time.
斯科特所做的似乎是当时唯一合理的事情。
He excused himself to go to the bathroom, snuck outside, found a telephone, called a friend to come get him, and he never looked back.
他借口去洗手间,偷偷溜出去,找到电话,打电话给朋友来接他,然后就再也没有回头。
He felt a little ashamed.
他感到有些羞愧。
But mostly he felt relieved.
但大多数时候他感到如释重负。
It was a good feeling.
这是一种很好的感觉。
Ira Glass And can you say like-- people say a lot of about you're in a kind of a sink or swim situation and how gratifying it is to actually overcome all obstacles and to actually swim.
艾拉·格拉斯(Ira Glass):你能这样说吗——人们经常说你处于一种陷入困境或游泳的境地,以及真正克服所有障碍并真正游泳是多么令人欣慰。
But what you're describing, nobody really talks about how great it can be just to totally embrace utter and complete failure.
但正如你所描述的,没有人真正谈论完全接受彻底的失败有多么伟大。
Well, I started to sink in that conference room.
好吧,我开始在那个会议室里沉沦。
And so I just got out of the water and ran.
于是我就从水里爬出来就跑。
Which brings to the conflict at the heart of today's program.
这就带来了今天节目的核心冲突。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》,由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our show, Sink or Swim.
今天在我们的节目中,下沉或游泳。
We have three stories of people who get thrown in over their head.
我们有三个关于人们陷入困境的故事。
In one of our acts we have a guy who is not a doctor who starts doing something that even he admits only a doctor should be doing.
在我们的一个表演中,有一个不是医生的人开始做一些即使他也承认只有医生应该做的事情。
In another, the entire world decides that a teenager is something that he feels that he is not.
在另一个故事中,整个世界都认为一个青少年是他认为自己不是的东西。
And Jonathan Goldstein brings us the story of the first global sink-or-swim.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦为我们带来了全球首个“沉或游”的故事。
I'm talking of course about the story of Noah's ark.
我当然是在谈论诺亚方舟的故事。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One.
第一幕。
Mr. Central High.
中央高中先生。
This is the story of somebody who gets in over his head, gets into water so deep that it is actually hard for him to make it, all by accident.
这是一个关于一个人陷入困境的故事,他陷入了如此深的水中,以至于他实际上很难成功,这一切都是偶然的。
He never intended for it to happen this way.
他从来没有想过事情会变成这样。
Susan Drury tells the story.
苏珊·德鲁里讲述了这个故事。
There's a famous photograph you may have seen.
您可能见过一张著名的照片。
It's a photo of Bill Clinton as a teenager.
这是比尔·克林顿青少年时期的照片。
He's standing in the Rose Garden, shaking the hand of then President John F.
他站在玫瑰园里,与时任总统约翰·肯尼迪握手。
Kennedy.
肯尼迪.
Clinton was in Washington, DC, because he'd been elected governor of Boys State in Arkansas in 1963.
克林顿之所以来到华盛顿特区,是因为他于 1963 年当选为阿肯色州男孩州州长。
Boys State is a mock government program held in most states.
男孩之州是大多数州举办的模拟政府项目。
And then there's another less famous picture.
还有另一张不太出名的照片。
This time Clinton is President.
这次克林顿当总统。
It's 1998.
现在是 1998 年。
And he's shaking hands with a teenager named Chauncey Julius, who had been elected governor of Boys State in Tennessee.
他正在与一位名叫昌西·朱利叶斯(Chauncey Julius)的青少年握手,后者已当选为田纳西州男孩州州长。
And if you look closely, you'll notice that Chauncey is giving Clinton a confident two-handed handshake, the kind that Clinton was known for, like Chauncey might be the one in charge.
如果你仔细观察,你会发现昌西正在给克林顿自信的双手握手,这是克林顿众所周知的方式,就像昌西可能是负责人一样。
This is a story about how Chauncey got to be in this picture and what happened after, none of which he expected.
这是一个关于昌西如何出现在这张照片中以及之后发生的事情的故事,这一切都是他意想不到的。
The story starts when Chauncey's in ninth grade.
故事开始于昌西九年级时。
He lives in Columbia, Tennessee, in a rough part of town.
他住在田纳西州哥伦比亚市的一个贫困地区。
His mom has a good factory job at the Saturn plant.
他的妈妈在土星工厂有一份不错的工作。
But his dad is addicted to crack and is blowing all the family's money.
但他的父亲沉迷于毒品,花光了家里所有的钱。
Chauncey is selling drugs and skipping school.
昌西贩卖毒品并逃学。
He is the picture of a kid going nowhere.
他就像一个无处可去的孩子的照片。
But one day, he decides he wants something different.
但有一天,他决定想要一些不同的东西。
I remember the day that I stopped selling drugs.
我记得我停止贩毒的那一天。
There had been a couple raids in the area.
该地区曾发生过几次袭击事件。
Police, and having to hop out of windows and run away so I wouldn't get caught.
警察,我不得不跳出窗户逃跑,以免被抓住。
It was the next day after one of those raids.
这是其中一次袭击发生后的第二天。
And I was sitting on the porch.
我坐在门廊上。
And I remember it was around this time.
我记得就在这个时候。
It was around like sundown.
周围就像日落一样。
And I wish I had it.
我希望我能拥有它。
But I have a little piece of paper that I still have.
但我还留着一张小纸。
I wrote it in ninth grade.
这是我九年级写的。
And on it, it has some goals.
对此,它有一些目标。
It talks about how I want to graduate from school, maybe go to graduate school.
它讲述了我如何想从学校毕业,也许去读研究生。
And I said that I wanted to be a CEO of a major-- at that time it was a cosmetic company because Boomerang was big.
我说我想成为一家专业公司的首席执行官——当时是一家化妆品公司,因为Boomerang很大。
The movie Boomerang.
电影《回旋镖》。
And he was like the CEO of like a cosmetic company.
他就像一家化妆品公司的首席执行官。
So I said I want to be a CEO of Revlon or something.
所以我说我想成为露华浓的首席执行官什么的。
I think that would be awesome.
我认为那会很棒。
Just the girls and everything.
只有女孩和一切。
They'll like me.
他们会喜欢我的。
I just wanted to be like the guy in Boomerang.
我只是想像《回旋镖》中的那个人一样。
And that was that.
就是这样。
He quit selling drugs.
他不再贩毒了。
When Chauncey came back to school, it was the start of 10th grade.
当昌西回到学校时,正是十年级开始的时候。
He had come out of ninth grade with only half a credit, mostly because he almost never went to school.
他从九年级毕业时只获得了半个学分,主要是因为他几乎从未上过学。
He didn't know any of the guidance counselors.
他不认识任何辅导员。
But he decided he needed someone to help him.
但他决定需要有人来帮助他。
So he walked into the guidance counselor's office.
于是他走进了辅导员办公室。
There he met this woman, Mary Ann Lynn.
在那里他遇到了这个女人,玛丽·安·林恩。
He came into the guidance office and said, "Who is the best guidance counselor in this office?" And the secretary said, "Well, Ms. Lynn is the most spirited." He said, "OK, that's who I want to talk to."
他走进辅导室,问道:“这个办公室里最好的辅导员是谁?”秘书说:“嗯,林女士最有精神。”他说:“好吧,这就是我想找的人。”
OK.
好的。
Let me point something out right here.
让我在这里指出一些事情。
If you had only gone to school basically to sell drugs for your whole ninth grade year, would you waltz into the office and demand the very best the school had to offer?
如果你在整个九年级上学基本上只是为了卖毒品,你会跳进办公室并要求学校提供最好的东西吗?
Probably not.
可能不会。
But here's the thing everybody was about to find out about Chauncey.
但这是每个人都将要了解的有关昌西的事情。
When he needs to turn things around, he will find what he needs to get it done.
当他需要扭转局面时,他会找到完成任务所需的资源。
Here's Mary Ann Lynn.
这是玛丽·安·林恩。
He wanted to know if he had any kind of chance of getting to go to college.
他想知道他是否有机会上大学。
That he could not afford anything like that.
他买不起这样的东西。
And I said, "Oh, honey.
我说:“哦,亲爱的。
Oh, yes." I said, "We will work on our grades.
哦,是的。”我说:“我们会努力提高成绩。
There's money.
有钱了。
We dig for money." And he says, "I know I want that.
我们挖钱。”他说:“我知道我想要那个。
I know I may not have the background for it." But he says, "I want that."
我知道我可能没有这方面的背景。”但他说:“我想要那个。”
I began to go to class.
我开始去上课了。
I began to go to school.
我开始去上学。
That was a big step.
这是一个很大的进步。
I had to remember my locker combination numbers and dust my books off.
我必须记住我的储物柜密码并掸掉书本上的灰尘。
Probably one of my priorities was to graduate with my class.
也许我的首要任务之一就是与班级一起毕业。
The thought of being left behind that was a no-go.
被抛在后面的想法是行不通的。
That wasn't happening.
那并没有发生。
This seems like a pretty big transition to make when you're 15 years old.
当你 15 岁的时候,这似乎是一个相当大的转变。
But there's something about Chauncey.
但昌西身上有一些东西。
He wasn't an ordinary kid.
他不是一个普通的孩子。
He was a kid so self possessed, so good looking, and so confident that everybody noticed him and wanted to know him.
他是一个如此自信、如此英俊、如此自信的孩子,以至于每个人都注意到他并想认识他。
Even as a sophomore in high school, you wouldn't have known he was a sophomore.
即使是高中二年级的学生,你也不会知道他是二年级学生。
I mean he could come in and sit down and talk to you like he already had his degree.
我的意思是,他可以进来坐下来和你交谈,就像他已经获得了学位一样。
Now where he learned that or how he learned it at that time, I don't know.
现在他从哪里学到的,或者他当时是如何学到的,我不知道。
But I could see him being President or whatever.
但我可以看到他成为总统或其他什么。
He just had a God given gift of charisma.
他只是拥有上帝赐予的魅力礼物。
If he had had on a neon sign, it wouldn't been any more clear.
如果他有霓虹灯,那就不会更清楚了。
Chauncey got to work.
昌西开始工作。
He took as many summer school classes as he could.
他尽可能多地参加了暑期学校课程。
He attached himself to several teachers who acted as mentors and coaches.
他依附于几位担任导师和教练的老师。
He was in a couple plays.
他出演了几部戏剧。
He was on the football team and later became captain.
他曾是橄榄球队的成员,后来成为队长。
He became a part of a group called Elevated Young Minds.
他成为了一个名为“Elevated Young Minds”的团体的成员。
And he went with this group on a tour of black colleges.
他和这群人一起参观了黑人大学。
He also became increasingly involved in church.
他也越来越多地参与教会活动。
And he even got ordained as a minister.
他甚至被任命为牧师。
One of Chauncey's classmates told me it was like Chauncey came out of nowhere, and pretty soon he was everywhere.
昌西的一位同学告诉我,昌西就像凭空出现一样,很快他就无处不在。
The kids liked him.
孩子们喜欢他。
And teachers began thinking of him as a leader, as someone who would go somewhere, someone who could do great things.
老师们开始认为他是一个领导者,一个会去某个地方的人,一个可以做伟大事情的人。
One day during his junior year, Chauncey was walking down the hall on the way to his English class when he saw Mary Ann Lynn in the hallway.
大三的一天,昌西正沿着走廊走去上英语课,这时他在走廊里看到了玛丽·安·林恩。
Ms. Lynn said, "Listen to the announcements today when they come over the loudspeaker." I was like, am I in trouble?
林恩女士说:“今天通过扩音器播放的公告请收听。”我当时想,我有麻烦了吗?
I didn't know what was going on.
我不知道发生了什么事。
They caught me totally by surprise with this one.
他们对这个让我完全惊讶。
But I was listening to the announcements.
但我正在听公告。
And they said, Boys State delegates.
他们说,男孩州代表。
My name was mentioned in there.
里面提到了我的名字。
And I was like, did they just recommend me for something?
我当时想,他们只是推荐我做某事吗?
What is Boys State?
什么是男孩州?
Boys State is a big deal.
男孩州是一件大事。
Being chosen as a delegate means that the teachers at your high school think you're among most promising, the most impressive boys in the school.
被选为代表意味着你所在高中的老师认为你是学校里最有前途、最令人印象深刻的男孩之一。
The program takes place over a week at a college campus.
该项目在大学校园进行为期一周多的时间。
And the whole thing is geared around mock elections.
整个事情都是围绕模拟选举展开的。
Hundreds of boys representing every high school in the state are divided into towns, counties, that sort of thing.
代表该州每所高中的数百名男孩被分为城镇、县等。
And the whole week is filled with campaigns for various offices, from sanitation chief to mayor to governor.
整整一周都充满了各种职位的竞选活动,从卫生局局长到市长再到州长。
So Chauncey went at the end of his junior year.
所以昌西在大三结束时就去了。
He knew it was an honor, but it didn't feel like that big of a deal to him at the time.
他知道这是一种荣誉,但当时对他来说并没有什么大不了的。
Mostly it just seemed like it would be fun.
大多数情况下,它只是看起来很有趣。
Like a long field trip where he would get to hang out in this little school.
就像一次长途实地考察,他可以在这所小学校里闲逛。
But Chauncey felt different once he got to Boys State.
但昌西一到男孩州立大学就感觉不一样了。
He was surrounded by all these boys, all of whom were smart and motivated and outgoing.
他周围都是这些男孩,他们都很聪明、上进、外向。
And even though he hadn't planned on it, Chauncey decided he would just go for it and run for governor, the highest office.
尽管昌西并没有计划这样做,但他还是决定去竞选最高职位——州长。
It was almost like he couldn't help himself.
就好像他无法控制自己一样。
He announced his candidacy in front of hundreds of boys in a huge auditorium.
他在一个巨大的礼堂里当着数百名男孩的面宣布了自己的候选资格。
Everyone who was running for governor is in this room.
所有竞选州长的人都在这个房间里。
People just yelling out, hey vote for me.
人们只是大喊,嘿,投票给我。
Side conversations and everything.
闲聊什么的。
People holding up banners.
人们高举横幅。
And people got their cronies and their little goons saying, vote for my best friend here.
人们让他们的亲信和小暴徒说,投票给我这里最好的朋友。
You hear all that added.
你听到了所有添加的内容。
The other people that was running, they come with all these supplies.
其他跑步的人带着所有这些物资来了。
Markers.
标记。
They got construction paper, poster boards.
他们有建筑用纸、海报板。
Everything.
一切。
They came prepped.
他们是有备而来。
And I had this little dingy t-shirt that I held up that I wrote with probably a Expo dry erase marker.
我举起这件肮脏的小 T 恤,上面可能是用世博干擦记号笔写的。
I wrote, Julius for Governor.
我写道,朱利叶斯竞选州长。
And I held the shirt up.
我举起了衬衫。
And I remember the response.
我还记得大家的反应。
Boo, whatever.
嘘,无论如何。
Put that shirt down.
把那件衬衫放下来。
Ain't nobody voting for you.
没人投票给你。
And immediately, something clicked on the inside.
立刻,里面有什么东西点击了。
Don't tell me that you're not going to vote for me.
别告诉我你不会投票给我。
Don't tell me that I can't do nothing.
别告诉我我什么也做不了。
You're not going to tell me that I'm not going to win.
你不会告诉我我不会赢。
Chauncey gave a terrific speech and beat out 11 other guys to become the nominee of his party.
昌西发表了精彩的演讲,击败了其他 11 名候选人,成为该党的提名人。
And as he headed into the general election, people flocked to his campaign.
当他进入大选时,人们纷纷涌向他的竞选活动。
People were just doing crazy stuff like hanging out stuff from their room windows.
人们只是做一些疯狂的事情,比如从房间的窗户上挂东西。
And across the whole window, they'd hang out a banner that says, "Vote for Julius" or vote for-- And I'm just like, wow, I didn't ask the guy to do that.
他们会在整个窗户上挂出一条横幅,上面写着“投票给朱利叶斯”或投票给——我就想,哇,我没有要求那个人这样做。
For the first time Chauncey saw all these people, not just teachers but kids now, pulling for him, doing things for him, just because he was him.
昌西第一次看到所有这些人,不仅仅是老师,还有现在的孩子们,为他拉扯,为他做事,仅仅因为他就是他。
He was shocked by it and overwhelmed.
他对此感到震惊和不知所措。
I mean what does it say about you when a guy you don't even know shaves your name into his hair?
我的意思是,当一个你甚至不认识的人把你的名字剃到他的头发上时,这对你意味着什么?
On the day of the election for governor, the other candidates nervously stood at the podium and read their speeches.
州长选举当天,其他候选人紧张地站在讲台上宣读演讲。
But Chauncey took to the stage as if he had done it a hundred times before.
但昌西走上舞台就好像他以前做过一百次一样。
By this time he'd already preached at his church.
这时他已经在教堂讲道了。
And he was really interested in leadership.
他对领导力非常感兴趣。
He'd read all sorts of books on it.
他读过各种有关这方面的书籍。
He grabbed the mike and walked the stage like a motivational speaker.
他抓起麦克风,像励志演说家一样走上舞台。
He was a natural.
他是一个天生的人。
And he had the audience, hundreds of 17-year-old boys, captivated.
他让数百名 17 岁男孩的观众着迷。
It was like it was in slow motion.
就像是慢动作一样。
I got up, and I just began to just go for it.
我站起来,开始努力。
Clapping, standing-O.
鼓掌,站立-O。
Everything.
一切。
It was just like a rush, an adrenalin rush.
这就像一种冲动,一种肾上腺素的激增。
And where it was so much where I was almost about to pass out because the rush was so great.
那里太拥挤了,我几乎要昏倒了,因为太匆忙了。
And it was like a drug.
这就像毒品一样。
It was-- Wow!
那是——哇!
He won in a landslide.
他以压倒性优势获胜。
Chauncey came back home after being elected governor at Boys State.
昌西当选男孩州州长后回到家乡。
But his position in his hometown had changed.
但他在家乡的地位却发生了变化。
His win was important not just for him, but for lots of people in his town for lots of reasons.
他的胜利不仅对他很重要,而且对他镇上的很多人都很重要,原因有很多。
Colombia's just 30,000 people.
哥伦比亚只有三万人口。
And nobody from Colombia had ever been elected governor of Boys State.
哥伦比亚从未当选过男孩州州长。
And here was Chauncey, the black kid from a tough neighborhood.
这是昌西,一个来自贫困社区的黑人孩子。
The kid who turned his life around, bringing home the honor.
这个孩子改变了他的生活,把荣誉带回家。
It became a very big deal.
这成了一件大事。
The word is spreading.
这个词正在传播。
The word is spreading, even in my neighborhood.
这个消息正在传播,甚至在我的社区也是如此。
Even the people that's my friends that was out there still selling drugs.
甚至那些我的朋友也在外面贩卖毒品。
What you doing man?
你在做什么伙计?
I saw you in the Daily Herald.
我在《每日先驱报》上看到你了。
You the governor?
你是州长吗?
You won.
你赢了。
You the governor now?
你现在是州长吗?
They was like man, congratulations.
他们就像男人一样,恭喜。
The Chamber of Commerce threw him a big party and gave him a plaque.
商会为他举办了一场盛大的宴会,并赠送了他一块牌匾。
The County Commission named June 19th, Chauncey Julius Day.
县委员会将 6 月 19 日命名为昌西·朱利叶斯日。
Chauncey spoke to the local American Legion, the Kiwanis Club, the Lions Club.
昌西与当地的美国军团、基瓦尼斯俱乐部、狮子俱乐部进行了交谈。
He is a story and a guy people could not get enough of.
他是一个有故事的人,也是一个让人爱不释手的人。
And though Chauncey had won a mock election for a mock office, he got some very real power out of it at his own school.
尽管昌西赢得了模拟选举并获得了模拟职位,但他在自己的学校中获得了一些非常真实的权力。
Administrators asked him to help pick the new principal.
管理人员请他帮助挑选新校长。
And the student government appointed him to a special office created just for him.
学生会任命他为专门为他设立的特别办公室。
And when all the seniors voted on the superlatives-- you know, most likely to succeed, most popular, those sorts of things-- Chauncey won so many awards that the administrators had to call him into the office and tell him to pick just two, so other people could have some.
当所有的高年级学生投票选出最高级的奖项时——你知道,最有可能成功的奖项、最受欢迎的奖项,诸如此类的奖项——昌西赢得了如此多的奖项,以至于管理人员不得不把他叫到办公室,告诉他只选两个,这样其他人就可以得到一些。
He chose Mr. Central High School and Mr. Football.
他选择了中央高中先生和足球先生。
I got away with a whole lot more.
我逃脱了更多。
Had a little bit of influence.
有一点点影响。
Had a little bit of power.
曾经有过一点点的力量。
Had some connects.
有一些联系。
And I can get out of some things a little bit easier, after all I did.
毕竟,我可以更轻松地摆脱某些事情。
I was on the panel to decide who was going to be the next principal.
我是小组成员之一,负责决定谁将成为下一任校长。
So there was some arrogance there, a little bit.
所以那里有一些傲慢,一点点。
I knew some people.
我认识一些人。
Didn't have to go to class as much because some of the teachers I had, had a hand in helping me go to Boys State.
不必经常去上课,因为我的一些老师帮助我去男孩州立大学。
So it's like, it's Chauncey, he all right.
所以这就像是昌西,他没事。
But none of the success changed his home life, which was still as unpredictable and crazy as ever.
但所有的成功都没有改变他的家庭生活,他的家庭生活仍然一如既往地难以预测和疯狂。
Chauncey's mom, Deborah Julius, told me they lived in a house where you can go to the closet it to get your coat and find that Chauncey's dad had sold it for drugs.
昌西的妈妈黛博拉·朱利叶斯告诉我,他们住在一所房子里,你可以去衣柜里拿外套,却发现昌西的爸爸把它卖给了毒品。
She never felt like they belonged in the circles Chauncey was now moving in.
她从来不觉得他们属于昌西现在进入的圈子。
Here's Deborah.
这是黛博拉。
Part of me kind of, sort of wanted to say why did you do this?
我的一部分有点想说你为什么这么做?
Don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思。
I was happy.
我很高兴。
I was elated.
我很高兴。
What was happening to Chauncey was great, under any other circumstances, like if he had a dad that was prominent or if he had a dad that even had a good job and was just an ordinary Joe.
在任何其他情况下,发生在昌西身上的事情都是伟大的,就像他有一个杰出的父亲,或者如果他有一个甚至有一份好工作但只是一个普通的乔的父亲。
If we were just a normal family and a functional family.
如果我们只是一个正常的家庭和一个功能齐全的家庭就好了。
Every day.
每天。
Every day I knew they had it wrong.
每天我都知道他们错了。
I was same person that brought piles of weed past your doors when I was in ninth grade.
我就是九年级时把成堆的杂草带到你家门口的那个人。
Am I really a success?
我真的是成功者吗?
This is just high school, people.
这只是高中,朋友们。
We're about to graduate.
我们马上就要毕业了。
Not only that, but I'm going through hell in my home.
不仅如此,我还在家里经历着地狱。
So my grades aren't all that good.
所以我的成绩并不是那么好。
I'm still struggling at Algebra II.
我还在代数 II 上挣扎。
Will I pass Algebra II?
我会通过代数 II 吗?
I have a lot of flaws.
我有很多缺点。
Ya'll sure you got the right person?
你确定你找对人了吗?
Chauncey was facing a whole community, everybody with these huge expectations.
昌西面对的是整个社区,每个人都抱有巨大的期望。
And at some point of his senior year, he couldn't do it anymore.
在他高四的某个时候,他再也做不到了。
He just wanted to disappear.
他只想消失。
Here's Mary Ann Lynn.
这是玛丽·安·林恩。
We put him in a place where if he came down a notch, he would feel like he failed.
我们把他放在一个地方,如果他下降了一个档次,他就会觉得自己失败了。
I'm not sure we did the right thing on some of that.
我不确定我们在其中一些方面做得是否正确。
Then I feel like what happened to him and what happens to anybody in that situation is hey, I do have to be great.
然后我觉得发生在他身上的事情以及发生在那种情况下的任何人的事情就是嘿,我必须表现得很棒。
They've told me I'm great.
他们告诉我我很棒。
I've got to be perfect.
我必须变得完美。
And there were still some struggles with some academics.
与一些学者之间仍然存在一些斗争。
And the background, he just didn't have it.
而背景,他就是没有。
So he had so much pressure on him to be great.
所以他承受着很大的压力,要他变得伟大。
I felt the pressure to perform, to perform in academics.
我感受到了在学术上表现的压力。
The pressure for football.
足球的压力。
I was a senior.
我是一名高年级学生。
I was a captain.
我是一名队长。
The pressure from friends, where you don't hang out with us as much as you used to because I'm really involved in school activities.
来自朋友的压力,你不再像以前那样经常和我们一起出去玩,因为我真的很参与学校的活动。
And the fact that I'm trying to graduate.
事实上我正在努力毕业。
Prior to no one knowing my name, I didn't have these pressures.
在没有人知道我的名字之前,我没有这些压力。
If he could just make it to graduation and pass all his classes, he'd have a full scholarship at Tennessee Tech, thanks to his win at Boys State.
如果他能顺利毕业并通过所有课程,他将获得田纳西理工大学的全额奖学金,这要归功于他在男孩州立大学的胜利。
The scholarship was Chauncey's dream.
奖学金是昌西的梦想。
But after three years of trying to play catch-up up with the rest of his class, at the end of his senior year he was still one credit short.
但经过三年努力追赶班上其他同学后,在高四结束时,他仍然差一个学分。
And I didn't graduate with a diploma.
而且我没有毕业并获得文凭。
It hurt.
很痛。
Embarrassing, because I was the poster boy.
尴尬,因为我是海报男孩。
Didn't finish in what really mattered.
没有完成真正重要的事情。
I wanted that more than anything, to graduate.
我最想要的就是毕业。
Here's Mary Ann Lynn.
这是玛丽·安·林恩。
Mary Ann Lynn We kind of set him up for failure.
玛丽·安·林恩 我们有点让他陷入失败。
Everything went wonderful.
一切都很顺利。
And then right before he went to college, it was like throwing mud in his face.
然后就在他上大学之前,这就像往他脸上泼泥一样。
So he went down.
于是他就下去了。
His feelings about school, about himself, and everything.
他对学校、对自己、以及一切的感受。
How did I be so great and then all at once everything go wrong?
我怎么这么优秀,然后突然一切都变糟了?
Chauncey's successes had been very public.
昌西的成功已广为人知。
But his failure was pretty private.
但他的失败是相当私人的。
He was allowed to walk in his school's graduation ceremony.
他被允许参加学校的毕业典礼。
And hardly anybody even knew he didn't really graduate.
几乎没有人知道他并没有真正毕业。
The next fall, Chauncey got another chance.
第二年秋天,昌西又得到了一次机会。
He showed up at college, took the GED test that weekend, and was instantly admitted.
他出现在大学,在那个周末参加了 GED 考试,并立即被录取。
But within a couple of weeks, he stopped going to class.
但几周之内,他就不再去上课了。
College was harder than he thought.
大学比他想象的要难。
And he felt like he had lost his momentum.
而且他感觉自己失去了动力。
He spent his time hanging out and partying.
他把时间花在闲逛和聚会上。
He basically fell off the map, like he had in ninth grade.
他基本上从地图上消失了,就像他九年级时那样。
And I had like a lot of support there.
我在那里得到了很多支持。
I just never used it.
我只是从来没有使用过它。
I thought that when you go to college everything you need to succeed, you already had to possess.
我认为当你上大学时,你已经拥有了成功所需的一切。
And I didn't.
但我没有。
And I felt that I was a fraud.
我觉得我是个骗子。
I felt that I had let people down.
我觉得我让人们失望了。
I was like OK, I don't have what it takes.
我当时想,好吧,我没有能力。
By the end of freshman year, he had lost his scholarship and was kicked out.
大一结束时,他失去了奖学金并被开除。
He came back to Columbia.
他回到了哥伦比亚。
He half-heartedly took some classes at the local community college.
他半心半意地在当地社区大学上了一些课程。
He worked in a factory and at Long John Silver.
他曾在一家工厂和 Long John Silver 工作。
Everyone in his hometown, the bankers, the preachers, the drug dealers, knew who he was and had thought he was heading somewhere.
他家乡的每个人,银行家、传教士、毒贩,都知道他是谁,并以为他要去某个地方。
He went from possibly the most promising kid in town to just another kid with a GED and no plans for the future.
他从可能是镇上最有前途的孩子变成了另一个拥有 GED 且对未来没有计划的孩子。
Chauncey decided joining the army would solve his problems.
昌西决定参军可以解决他的问题。
He went down to the recruiter's office and signed up.
他去了招聘人员办公室并报名了。
Recruiters would love a person like this.
招聘人员会喜欢这样的人。
I mean they didn't have to work hard at all.
我的意思是他们根本不需要努力工作。
My recruiter was so laid back because he knew I was so-- He didn't have to work at all.
我的招聘人员非常悠闲,因为他知道我是如此——他根本不需要工作。
Whatever he put in front of me, I did.
无论他摆在我面前的是什么,我都做了。
I was like, whatever you want.
我当时想,无论你想要什么。
You don't even have to drive me to Nashville to the medical station, I will run from Colombia.
你甚至不必开车送我去纳什维尔去医疗站,我会从哥伦比亚跑过来。
That's like 45 miles.
相当于 45 英里。
And I was like, I will go.
我当时想,我会去。
Whatever you need for me to do, whatever it takes for me to get away from here, and for me not to face the embarrassment of failing to this community, to my high school, to whatever it takes for me where you're going to enable me to run.
无论你需要我做什么,无论我需要做什么才能离开这里,并且让我不要面对未能进入这个社区、无法进入我的高中的尴尬,无论我需要做什么才能让我能够竞选。
I'm going to do it.
我会去做的。
Ten days later from the time I walked into that office, I was gone.
自从我走进那间办公室十天后,我就走了。
And in the army, the trend that had started years earlier came back.
在军队中,多年前开始的趋势又回来了。
His superiors saw in him something.
他的上级在他身上看到了一些东西。
Leadership, he says.
领导力,他说。
Determination.
决心。
But there was one difference in the army.
但军队中有一点不同。
Nobody cared about his potential, about what he might do.
没有人关心他的潜力,关心他可能做什么。
They only cared about what he actually did.
他们只关心他实际上做了什么。
Chauncey got sent to Iraq.
昌西被派往伊拉克。
And then he came back, got married, and reenlisted for another tour.
然后他回来了,结婚了,并重新报名参加另一次巡演。
In all, he spent six years in the Army.
他总共在军队度过了六年。
And he just got out.
而他刚刚出来。
Things haven't turned out the way he thought, but they are turning out.
事情并没有像他想象的那样发展,但正在发生。
For the first time in many years, he feels like he can return home with no shame.
多年来,他第一次觉得自己可以毫无羞耻地回家了。
And I talked to a lot of my friends.
我和很多朋友聊过。
And they say, Chaunce, I thought you'd be on TV by now.
他们说,昌斯,我以为你现在已经上电视了。
Like honestly, like we expected to see you on CNN.
老实说,就像我们期望在 CNN 上看到你一样。
Like, what are you doing?
比如,你在做什么?
They always want to know like what I'm doing.
他们总是像我一样想知道在做什么。
And I'm just, I was in the military for a while.
我只是,我在军队服役了一段时间。
I was in school for a while.
我在学校呆过一段时间。
And I went into the military.
我参军了。
And went to Iraq twice.
并两次前往伊拉克。
And I'm back in school.
我回到了学校。
But I'm running my race.
但我正在参加我的比赛。
I had to learn that.
我必须学习这一点。
I had to really learn that.
我必须真正学习这一点。
And I think what people saw in me is happening right now.
我认为人们在我身上看到的东西现在正在发生。
What they saw and what they saw can happen possibly is happening right now in my life.
他们所看到的以及他们所看到的可能发生的事情可能正在我的生活中发生。
Chauncey's counselor, Mary Ann Lynn, has thought a lot about why it took till now for Chauncey to come into his own, about why things went so wrong at the end of high school for him.
昌西的辅导员玛丽·安·林恩(Mary Ann Lynn)思考了很多,为什么昌西直到现在才恢复正常,为什么在高中结束时事情对他来说如此糟糕。
She's got a gift for finding kids who are about to fall through the cracks.
她有一种天赋,可以找到那些即将陷入困境的孩子。
And she makes it her business to try to help them.
她以帮助他们为己任。
And when she looks at what happened to Chauncey, she thinks the adults in his life just got carried away.
当她看到昌西发生的事情时,她认为他生活中的成年人只是得意忘形了。
Probably the cruel thing-- Sometimes I've blamed myself with, OK, did I push him too hard and put him into a position that was so hard to survive?
也许是残酷的事情——有时我会责怪自己,好吧,我是否把他逼得太紧了,把他置于一个难以生存的境地?
But we took him from just being a kid in school and kind of made him famous.
但我们让他不再只是一个在学校的孩子,让他出名了。
And then he had all this stuff thrown at him.
然后所有这些东西都扔给他。
And I don't think we realized what we were pushing him into.
我认为我们没有意识到我们把他推入了什么样的境地。
Chauncey just started school at Kansas State University near Fort Riley, where he was based in the Army.
昌西刚刚在赖利堡附近的堪萨斯州立大学上学,他在那里服役。
Within the first three weeks of school, one of his deans told him they hadn't seen a student of his stature in 25 years.
在开学的前三周内,他的一位院长告诉他,他们已经 25 年没有见过像他这样水平的学生了。
The dean predicted that Chauncey would take the school by storm.
院长预言昌西会席卷学校。
Susan Drury, in Nashville.
苏珊·德鲁里,在纳什维尔。
Coming up, a former heroin addict gets into a situation where he has to invent for himself, on his own, the rules and procedures of being a doctor.
接下来,一名前海洛因成瘾者陷入了一种境地,他必须自己发明成为一名医生的规则和程序。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
一分钟后,芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our show we choose a theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题,为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's show, Sink or Swim.
今天的节目,沉没或游泳。
We have stories of people who put themselves into situations that they are completely unprepared for.
我们有这样的故事:人们将自己置于完全没有准备的境地。
We've arrived at Act Two of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第二幕了。
Act Two.
第二幕。
I'm Not A Doctor But I Play One At The Holiday Inn.
我不是医生,但我在假日酒店扮演医生。
Back in the '60s, a heavy drug user, a hippie, named Howard Lotsof, tried a powerful hallucinogen named ibogaine.
早在 60 年代,一位名叫霍华德·洛索夫 (Howard Lotsof) 的重度吸毒嬉皮士尝试了一种名为伊博加因 (ibogaine) 的强力致幻剂。
Lotsof apparently had one of the most intense drug experiences of his life.
洛索夫显然经历了他一生中最强烈的吸毒经历之一。
And when it was done, the odd thing was he had absolutely no desire to ever use drugs again.
当这一切完成后,奇怪的是他完全不想再吸毒了。
Just wasn't interested.
只是不感兴趣。
He stayed clean.
他保持干净。
And years later, he decided that ibogaine should be used to cure drug addicts.
多年后,他决定使用伊博加因来治疗吸毒者。
And so he tested and got patents for several different dosages of ibogaine.
因此,他测试了几种不同剂量的伊博加因并获得了专利。
But for a variety of reasons it never got picked up by any of your mainstream drug companies.
但由于多种原因,它从未被任何主流制药公司采用。
But ibogaine hung around on the margins.
但伊博加因一直徘徊在边缘。
This drug, like it's supposed to be doing the impossible, especially for heroin addicts.
这种药物就像它应该做的不可能的事情,特别是对于海洛因成瘾者来说。
You take it.
你拿去吧。
You go on this intense trip.
你继续这趟紧张的旅行。
And at the end of that trip, you have no withdrawal symptoms.
在那次旅行结束时,你没有出现戒断症状。
None.
没有任何。
Nothing.
没有什么。
And you also have no desire to ever do heroin again.
而且你也不想再吸食海洛因。
Well, this brings us to our story, which was put together by Lu Olkowski and Trey Kay.
好吧,这给我们带来了由 Lu Olkowski 和 Trey Kay 整理的故事。
Lu narrates.
卢叙述。
At his worst, Dimitri was living in his parents' basement in Detroit.
在迪米特里最糟糕的时候,他住在底特律父母的地下室里。
He had been using heroin for 27 years.
他吸食海洛因已有 27 年了。
His wife had died.
他的妻子已经去世了。
Many of his friends had died, and he was edging towards 40.
他的许多朋友都去世了,而他也快40岁了。
That was when it finally hit him that it was time to do something.
就在那时,他终于意识到是时候做点什么了。
In 2002, Dimitri went to Amsterdam for an experimental ibogaine treatment.
2002年,迪米特里前往阿姆斯特丹进行实验性伊博加因治疗。
It was given to him by a woman who cared for drug users our of her thatched roof farmhouse, surrounded by her five kids.
这是一位妇女给他的,她在她的茅草屋顶农舍里照顾吸毒者,周围环绕着她的五个孩子。
Thirty hours after taking the drug, Dimitri was cured of his heroin addiction, literally cured of his 27-year-old habit.
吸毒 30 小时后,迪米特里的海洛因成瘾就被治愈了,真正治愈了他 27 年来的恶习。
He remembers waking up at the crack of dawn three days later and experiencing a sensation that he hadn't felt in years, joy.
他记得三天后黎明时分醒来,体验到一种多年来从未有过的感觉:喜悦。
I have never felt that good in my life.
我一生中从未感觉如此美好。
Didn't need heroin.
不需要海洛因。
I was completely exhausted.
我已经筋疲力尽了。
And I just kept on saying-- I said praise God, over and over and over again.
我只是不停地说——我一遍又一遍地说赞美神。
And one of the little girls-- I can't remember which daughter it was.
其中一个小女孩——我不记得是哪个女儿了。
She said, "We had a black man from the Bronx, and he kept saying the same thing.
她说:“我们有一个来自布朗克斯的黑人,他一直说同样的话。
Praise God and praise God."
赞美神,赞美神。”
Dimitri says a lot of people come out of ibogaine treatments feeling euphoric, almost evangelical.
迪米特里说,很多人在接受伊博加因治疗后都感到欣快,几乎是福音派的感觉。
And Dimitri became a kind of ibogaine convert, determined to take the good news about this miracle drug that had instantly cured him, to other junkies.
迪米特里成为了伊博加因的皈依者,决心将这种立即治愈他的神奇药物的好消息告诉其他瘾君子。
He knew tons of people back in the States that needed help.
他在美国认识很多需要帮助的人。
And as far as Dimitri was concerned, they weren't treated well by the traditional medical establishment.
而对于迪米特里来说,他们并没有受到传统医疗机构的良好对待。
I mean my girlfriend works at a hospital.
我的意思是我女朋友在医院工作。
She comes back and tells me these stories.
她回来告诉我这些故事。
I've seen it.
我见过。
I've been in a hospital when I was an active user and fought with doctors for friends of mine.
当我还是一名活跃用户时,我曾在医院里为我的朋友与医生抗争过。
I had a friend of mine sitting home with spinal meningitis and aspirin because they didn't believe it.
我的一个朋友患有脊髓性脑膜炎,坐在家里服用阿司匹林,因为他们不相信。
And he turned out to be HIV-positive too.
结果他也感染了艾滋病毒。
And I take him in a second time.
我第二次带他去。
And got in a big fight with this doctor who started moralizing.
还和这个开始说教的医生大吵了一架。
"God only gives you three chances." None as an MD, but he knows how many chances God gives you.
“上帝只给你三次机会。”作为医学博士,没有,但他知道上帝给了你多少机会。
And so Dimitri decided to become an ibogaine provider himself, to save his friends just like the woman in Amsterdam had saved him.
因此迪米特里决定自己成为一名伊博加因提供者,以拯救他的朋友,就像阿姆斯特丹的那个女人拯救了他一样。
There were only two problems with this otherwise laudable goal.
这个本来值得称赞的目标只有两个问题。
First of all, because ibogaine is a hallucinogen, it's illegal in the US.
首先,由于伊博加因是一种致幻剂,因此在美国是非法的。
It's a Schedule I drug, like heroin.
这是一种一级毒品,就像海洛因一样。
And if Dimitri was caught buying or selling ibogaine, he could go to prison for the rest of his life.
如果迪米特里被发现买卖伊博加因,他可能会在监狱里度过余生。
The second problem was that by giving people ibogaine, Dimitri was basically doing the job of a doctor or nurse, without being either.
第二个问题是,通过给人们伊博加因,迪米特里基本上是在做医生或护士的工作,但实际上他既不是医生也不是护士。
Dimitri was a small-time rock star, bike messenger, dishwasher.
迪米特里是一位小众摇滚明星、自行车送信员、洗碗机。
He hadn't even taken a first aid course.
他甚至没有上过急救课程。
And ibogaine is a potentially dangerous psychotropic.
伊博加因是一种潜在危险的精神药物。
So for guidance, Dimitri hooked up with other underground ibogaine providers, former junkies like Dimitri who over several decades had developed a kind of ad hoc collection of protocols about dosage and care.
因此,为了寻求指导,迪米特里联系了其他地下伊博加因供应商,像迪米特里这样的前瘾君子,他们在几十年来开发了一种关于剂量和护理的临时协议集。
And the first time he gave a treatment, it went OK.
他第一次治疗时,效果很好。
But with the second guy, a drug dealer who helped Dimitri find ibogaine and who actually referred addicts to him for treatment, it didn't go so smoothly,
但第二个人,一个帮助迪米特里找到伊博加因的毒贩,并且实际上将吸毒者转介给他接受治疗,事情进展得并不顺利,
So we go through the process.
所以我们要经历这个过程。
He gets done with it basically.
他基本上就完成了。
OK.
好的。
This is my second treatment.
这是我的第二次治疗。
And then he goes into a seizure, eyes rolling to the back of his head, foaming at the mouth, biting his tongue, a seizure.
然后他癫痫发作,眼睛翻到后脑勺,口吐白沫,咬舌头,癫痫发作。
It was unbelievable.
这太令人难以置信了。
I thought he was dead, Long story short, I was freaked.
我以为他死了,长话短说,我吓坏了。
And actually at that point I panicked.
事实上,在那一刻我惊慌失措。
I didn't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办。
This guy was going to die and what the hell am I doing?
这家伙快要死了,我到底在做什么?
And this guy's going to die.
而且这个家伙快要死了。
And yeah, what business do I have to do this?
是的,我有什么必要这样做呢?
Dimitri managed to get the guy to a hospital, where he eventually recovered.
迪米特里设法将这名男子送往医院,他最终康复了。
But this was the first time Dimitri realized exactly what he had gotten himself into.
但这是迪米特里第一次真正意识到自己陷入了怎样的境地。
How crazy it was to be flying without a net, doing a job that put other people's lives into his hands.
在没有网的情况下飞行,做一份将别人的生命置于自己手中的工作是多么疯狂。
And this is the issue.
这就是问题所在。
Dimitri knows what it's like to be a junkie, to be desperate, frantic, to quit.
迪米特里知道成为一个瘾君子是什么感觉,绝望、疯狂、戒烟是什么感觉。
And he believes that since he has what he thinks is a cure, despite the risk, it's his moral responsibility, his obligation really, to help.
他相信,尽管存在风险,但既然他已经找到了他认为的治疗方法,那么提供帮助就是他的道义责任,他的义务。
It's terrifying, man.
这太可怕了,伙计。
And especially, you spend time with these people.
尤其是,你花时间和这些人在一起。
You get to know people.
你会认识人。
God, you don't want them to die.
天哪,你不想让他们死。
You don't want them to be hurt in any way.
你不希望他们受到任何形式的伤害。
Because Dimitri doesn't want his clients to be hurt in any way, he tries to be as much like a professional clinic as a former junkie with a by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation can be.
因为迪米特里不希望他的客户受到任何形式的伤害,所以他努力把自己打造成一家专业诊所,就像一个凭感觉做手术的前瘾君子一样。
He says he's even cobbled together a set of rules, more or less through trial and error.
他说,他甚至或多或少地通过反复试验,拼凑出了一套规则。
For example, a client should be clean of drugs and alcohol for a certain amount of time before treatment.
例如,服务对象应在治疗前一段时间内戒除毒品和酒精。
They should get EKGs if possible and liver panels.
如果可能的话,他们应该进行心电图检查和肝脏检查。
And so just like he's had to invent nearly everything else about this job, he's had to invent boundaries for himself.
因此,就像他必须发明有关这份工作的几乎所有其他内容一样,他也必须为自己创造界限。
Boundaries that are hard to maintain with everyone.
与每个人都难以维持的界限。
They ring my doorbell, call me up in the night.
他们按我的门铃,晚上给我打电话。
I had a guy threatening to shoot me two weeks ago who had had a relapse.
两周前,一个旧病复发的人威胁要开枪打死我。
And this is like a real close guy, man.
这就像一个真正亲密的人,伙计。
He wanted to [BLEEP] kill me.
他想[哔]杀了我。
Having a client threaten to shoot you probably wouldn't be accepted in the world of professional medicine.
在专业医学界,客户威胁要开枪打死你可能是不被接受的。
But Dimitri sees addicts differently than most people do.
但迪米特里对成瘾者的看法与大多数人不同。
He loves them.
他爱他们。
I interviewed him for a total of 35 hours over seven months.
我在七个月内采访了他总共 35 个小时。
And here's how he described every single addict he knows.
以下是他如何描述他认识的每一个瘾君子。
He's really a god.
他真的是一个神。
He's a beautiful guy.
他是一个漂亮的家伙。
He's a great guy.
他是一个很棒的人。
He's a musician.
他是一位音乐家。
He's a writer.
他是一位作家。
He's an incredibly sweet man.
他是一个非常可爱的人。
And he's such a great guy.
他是一个很棒的人。
He's got great taste in music.
他对音乐很有品味。
He's read some great books.
他读过一些很棒的书。
He's funny.
他很有趣。
He's strange.
他很奇怪。
I like him, man.
我喜欢他,伙计。
I really like him.
我真的很喜欢他。
One of the people Dimitri talks about this way, one of his clients, is Jimmy.
迪米特里以这种方式谈论的人之一,他的客户之一,是吉米。
Jimmy's middle-aged, clean cut, working class.
吉米是中年人,干净利落,工人阶级。
The kind of guy you'd see working at the post office or sitting next you on a bus.
你会看到那种在邮局工作或在公共汽车上坐在你旁边的人。
He's clearly genuinely a sweet guy.
他显然是一个真正的可爱的人。
But if you hang around with him long enough, you feel the dark cloud that follows him around.
但如果你和他相处的时间足够长,你就会感觉到乌云笼罩着他。
I talked to Jimmy a few days before Dimitri was going to give him an ibogaine treatment And he told me he had tried to shake heroin many times before.
在迪米特里准备给吉米接受伊博加因治疗前几天,我和吉米谈过,他告诉我他以前曾多次尝试戒掉海洛因。
He'd done traditional rehab, and a whole array of alternative treatments.
他接受了传统的康复治疗,以及一系列替代疗法。
He even tried ibogaine once before, with another underground provider.
他之前甚至曾与另一家地下供应商尝试过伊博加因。
According to Jimmy, ibogaine pretty much worked the first time around.
据吉米说,伊博加因第一次就很有效。
He says after the treatment he felt no craving for heroin.
他说,接受治疗后,他不再渴望吸食海洛因。
The thing that made him relapse was the dark cloud, all the other problems in his life.
让他旧病复发的是乌云,以及他生活中的所有其他问题。
Somewhere around three or four months when I started feeling a little bit lonely again.
大约三四个月的时候,我又开始感到有点孤独了。
It's like, why isn't anything really happening?
就像,为什么什么都没有发生?
I mean I'm feeling all these feelings, but what's really changing in my life.
我的意思是,我感受到了所有这些感受,但我的生活真正发生了变化。
I remember Eric was talking about a guy taking ibogaine.
我记得埃里克正在谈论一个服用伊博加因的人。
And a few months later he met a girl.
几个月后,他遇到了一个女孩。
He got married.
他结婚了。
So I'm like, when is this going to happen for me?
所以我想,这什么时候会发生在我身上?
And then I started getting to feel like, ahh, maybe I'm just the same old person, and there is no cure.
然后我开始觉得,啊,也许我只是同一个老人,而且没有治愈方法。
I'm standing on a street corner in the rain in midtown Manhattan with Dimitri.
我和迪米特里在雨中站在曼哈顿市中心的街角。
It's 5:00 PM, the time Jimmy is supposed to show for his treatment.
现在是下午 5:00,吉米应该到场接受治疗。
But he's late.
但他迟到了。
Dimitri is not happy.
迪米特里不高兴。
Just the week before, he was waiting for a client in the exact same spot and the guy never showed.
就在一周前,他还在同一个地方等待一位客户,但那个人却从未露面。
It's not unusual.
这并不罕见。
The flake factor is an occupational hazard when your entire client base is heroin addicts.
当您的整个客户群都是海洛因成瘾者时,薄片因素就是一种职业危害。
But it still gets to Dimitri, who's always nervous and tense before a treatment.
但这仍然困扰着迪米特里,他在治疗前总是很紧张。
I'm getting hives, which is normal.
我得了荨麻疹,这是正常的。
You see.
你看。
It's all over my legs and my feet.
它遍布我的腿和脚。
I get hives every treatment.
每次治疗我都会得荨麻疹。
Finally, three hours later-- three hours-- Jimmy arrives.
最后,三个小时后——三个小时——吉米到达了。
We drive up and open the car door for Jimmy.
我们开车过去,为吉米打开车门。
Sorry for putting you through a lot of crap.
抱歉让你经历了很多麻烦。
What did you forget?
你忘记了什么?
That you're going to take like a [BLEEP] strong African hallucinogen today.
今天你会像服用[BLEEP]强烈的非洲致幻剂一样。
It like slipped your mind?
你好像忘记了?
Yeah.
是的。
I just crashed because I was like up all night.
我只是崩溃了,因为我整晚都没睡。
And then Dimitri begins the underground provider equivalent of an intake survey.
然后迪米特里开始地下提供者相当于一项摄入调查。
Yeah, sort of.
是的,有点像。
Dimitri When's the last time you used?
迪米特里:你最后一次使用是什么时候?
7:00 maybe, 8:00.
7:00 也许,8:00。
Dimitri OK.
迪米特里 好的。
How many bags were you doing at the end?
最后你一共带了多少个包?
It really depended on how much money I had.
这实际上取决于我有多少钱。
I tried to hold a bundle through the whole week.
我试图在整个星期里保持一包东西。
And I ended up doing the whole bundle of in one day.
我最终在一天之内完成了整件事。
I mean I can't hold onto it.
我的意思是我无法坚持下去。
It sucks.
太糟糕了。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Lu Olkowski As I listen to this exchange, it's hard to tell if Dimitri is getting any useful information.
Lu Olkowski:当我聆听这次交流时,很难判断 Dimitri 是否获得了任何有用的信息。
It's all so casual.
一切都是那么随意。
Basically, Dimitri and Jimmy just joke around until we get to the hotel in New Jersey.
基本上,迪米特里和吉米只是开玩笑,直到我们到达新泽西州的酒店。
A comfortable chain, where Dimitri has instructed Jimmy to book an economy suite with a small bedroom and a separate living space with cable TV.
这是一家舒适的连锁酒店,迪米特里指示吉米预订了一间经济套房,配有一间小卧室和一个配备有线电视的独立起居空间。
While Jimmy hangs out, Dimitri puts away some groceries and preps the room.
当吉米闲逛时,迪米特里收拾一些杂货并准备房间。
I'm going to set up a bucket for him to puke in.
我准备放一个桶让他吐。
I want to make the room as dark as possible.
我想让房间尽可能黑暗。
Good thing we're starting at night.
还好我们晚上开始。
Dimitri is careful to make everything as comfortable as possible for Jimmy.
迪米特里(Dimitri)小心翼翼地让吉米(Jimmy)的一切尽可能舒适。
He even turns around the LCD alarm clock because he knows people are really sensitive to light when they're on ibogaine.
他甚至转动液晶闹钟,因为他知道人们在服用伊博加因时对光线非常敏感。
Then he takes out about 20 capsules containing varying amounts of ibogaine.
然后他取出大约20颗含有不同含量伊博加因的胶囊。
He leaves the pills on the desk and tries to figure out how much to give Jimmy.
他把药放在桌子上,试图算出该给吉米吃多少。
All right.
好的。
I'm going to do about 16.
我要做16个左右。
[WHISTLING] Hmm, that's too much.
[口哨] 嗯,这太过分了。
Hmm.
唔。
I'm going to give him a dose of like 16 milligrams per kilogram.
我会给他每公斤 16 毫克的剂量。
I'm just trying to combine the pills so they add up to that.
我只是想把这些药片组合起来,让它们相加。
Yup, that's right.
是的,没错。
OK.
好的。
You ready, buddy?
你准备好了吗,伙计?
Jimmy Yeah, I'm ready.
吉米:是的,我准备好了。
OK.
好的。
Lu Olkowski Jimmy strips down to his underpants and crawls into bed before taking the dose.
卢·奥尔科夫斯基·吉米在服药前脱光了内裤,爬上床。
His job is to lay there, as still as possible, in this dark room and let the drug take effect.
他的工作就是尽可能安静地躺在这个黑暗的房间里,让药物生效。
Dimitri's job is to wait on the other side of the door in case anything goes wrong.
迪米特里的工作是在门的另一边等待,以防出现任何问题。
After two hours, Dimitri goes in to check on his patient.
两个小时后,迪米特里进去检查他的病人。
Jimmy doesn't acknowledge we're there until Dimitri asks how he's doing.
直到迪米特里问吉米过得怎么样时,吉米才承认我们在那里。
He opens his eyes and looks around.
他睁开眼睛,环顾四周。
But just like a newborn baby, his eyes don't really focus on anything.
但就像刚出生的婴儿一样,他的眼睛并没有真正聚焦在任何东西上。
Oh, it's really intense.
哦,真的很激烈。
Dimitri It's really intense?
迪米特里 真的很激烈吗?
Yeah.
是的。
Dimitri OK.
迪米特里 好的。
Did you throw up a little bit?
你吐了一点吗?
Huh?
啊?
Dimitri Did you throw up a little bit?
迪米特里 你吐了一点吗?
Yeah.
是的。
Dimitri You're doing fine though, buddy.
迪米特里:不过你做得很好,伙计。
You're doing really good.
你做得真的很好。
Do you want me to get a towel for you?
要我给你拿条毛巾吗?
The treatment takes about 30 hours and is, at least for Dimitri and me, uneventful.
治疗大约需要 30 个小时,至少对于迪米特里和我来说,很顺利。
We watch a lot of TV.
我们看很多电视。
Dimitri checks in on Jimmy and cleans him up when he throws up.
迪米特里检查吉米并在他呕吐时帮他清理。
Jimmy just lies there having visions, not sleeping, but not fully coherent either.
吉米只是躺在那里出现幻象,没有睡觉,但也没有完全神志不清。
Dimitri seems worried when Jimmy's finished with the treatment.
当吉米完成治疗后,迪米特里似乎很担心。
Jimmy's isn't euphoric the way people usually are.
吉米并不像人们通常那样欣喜若狂。
Instead, he's kind of depressed and agitated.
相反,他有点沮丧和激动。
And after chatting a little bit, Jimmy reveals that he'd been doing coke the night before.
聊了一会儿之后,吉米透露他前一天晚上喝了可乐。
I was getting high the night before.
前一天晚上我兴奋极了。
Coke.
可乐。
Yeah.
是的。
I was smoking crack.
我当时正在抽可卡因。
Dimitri Oh, smoking crack.
迪米特里哦,吸可卡因。
Oh, let me tell you something.
哦,让我告诉你一件事。
Don't smoke crack the night before.
前一天晚上不要抽烟。
I actually prior to when you called me up, I was smoking crack.
事实上,在你打电话给我之前,我正在吸可卡因。
When you called me and asked me where I was.
当你打电话给我并问我在哪里时。
Oh, my god.
我的天啊。
Now remember that when we picked Jimmy up, he told Dimitri he'd been clean since Thursday, the day before the treatment.
现在请记住,当我们接吉米时,他告诉迪米特里,他从周四(治疗前一天)开始就干净了。
Yeah.
是的。
Dimitri So you didn't get any sleep?
迪米特里:所以你没有睡觉?
No. I was smoking crack.
不,我吸的是可卡因。
Dimitri So basically you haven't slept since Thursday morning.
迪米特里:所以基本上你从周四早上就没有睡觉。
And it's Sunday evening.
现在是周日晚上。
Right, right.
对,对。
Dimitri So like, yeah, so you kind of had that crack ibogaine combo a little bit, right?
迪米特里 所以,是的,所以你有点服用了伊博加因组合,对吧?
Yeah.
是的。
I was doing benzos and methadone too.
我也服用苯并类药物和美沙酮。
Oh, really.
哦真的吗。
How long?
多长时间?
Jimmy For about two weeks.
吉米 大约两周。
Anything else?
还要别的吗?
I mean right now it doesn't really matter.
我的意思是现在这并不重要。
Just for my amusement.
只是为了我的娱乐。
No, no. Dimitri You weren't like sniffing shoe polish or anything like that?
不,不。 Dimitri:你不喜欢闻鞋油之类的东西吗?
No, no glue.
不,没有胶水。
OK.
好的。
All right.
好的。
Dimitri was joking.
迪米特里是在开玩笑。
But later when I talked to him, he copped to the fact that mixing all those drugs was a really bad idea.
但后来当我和他交谈时,他承认混合所有这些药物是一个非常糟糕的主意。
Something horrible could have happened.
可能发生了一些可怕的事情。
And so, the risk would be like heart attack?
那么,风险就像心脏病发作一样吗?
I don't know.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道。
To be honest with you, I don't know.
老实说,我不知道。
Maybe I should know, but I don't.
也许我应该知道,但我不知道。
When I went home, I called the doctor who does ibogaine treatments at a licensed clinic in Cancun, Mexico.
当我回家后,我打电话给在墨西哥坎昆一家有执照的诊所进行伊博加因治疗的医生。
He told me that because Jimmy had taken benzodiazepine, there was a serious risk of seizure and potentially death, which brings us back to Dimitri's constant dilemma.
他告诉我,因为吉米服用了苯二氮卓类药物,所以存在癫痫发作和潜在死亡的严重风险,这让我们回到了迪米特里持续的困境。
He knows he's doing a really risky job.
他知道他正在做一项非常危险的工作。
He can't control everything.
他无法控制一切。
And the stakes are very high.
而且风险非常高。
And when I raise this with him, he suddenly seemed sad.
当我向他提出这个问题时,他突然显得很悲伤。
I probably don't have a lot of business doing it in a certain sense.
从某种意义上说,我可能没有太多生意做这件事。
But there's nobody else doing it.
但没有其他人这样做。
And that it seems is the heart of it.
这似乎就是它的核心。
No one else is doing it.
没有其他人这样做。
So far everything's worked out OK for Dimitri.
到目前为止,迪米特里一切都很顺利。
No one has been killed or hurt on his watch.
在他任内没有人被杀或受伤。
In fact, he feels he's helped many people.
事实上,他觉得自己帮助了很多人。
And he likes doing this work.
而且他喜欢做这项工作。
The actual work is basically touching people, cleaning people, nurturing people, holding people up, soothing their fears, being stern when they need some direction.
实际的工作基本上是接触人、清洁人、培育人、支撑人、安抚他们的恐惧、在他们需要指导时保持严厉。
And during the actual-- and being really patient and quiet.
在实际过程中,要非常耐心和安静。
It's not about me.
这与我无关。
The job is to love these people, he says.
他说,工作就是爱这些人。
But sometimes that's really hard.
但有时这真的很难。
There are just so many addicts with so many problems.
有这么多的瘾君子,有这么多的问题。
OK.
好的。
This guy's got a probation officer.
这家伙有一个缓刑官。
And he needs to do this, this, and this.
他需要做这个、这个、这个。
But he doesn't have a house.
但他没有房子。
And this other guy's homeless too.
另一个人也无家可归。
And she's got like all these abandonment issues.
她也遇到了所有这些被遗弃的问题。
And then this one can't really get it, because to get off the psych meds would be too much.
然后这个人就无法真正得到它,因为摆脱精神药物的影响太大了。
And on and on and on.
不断不断。
All these people with really sad, hard lives.
所有这些人都过着非常悲伤、艰难的生活。
I think about like what am I really doing?
我思考我到底在做什么?
How important is it?
它有多重要?
And I think about that a lot.
我对此思考了很多。
I think I've said this many times.
我想我已经说过很多次了。
This is what I can do.
这就是我能做的。
OK.
好的。
This little thing.
这件小事。
This little thing.
这件小事。
Dimitri just hopes doing that one little thing is enough.
迪米特里只希望做一件小事就足够了。
Lu Olkowski.
卢·奥尔科夫斯基.
She reported this story with Trey Kay.
她向 Trey Kay 报道了这个故事。
Act Three.
第三幕。
If This Ark Is A Rockin', Don't Come A Knockin'.
如果这艘方舟很摇滚,请不要来敲门。
The Bible is just one big sink or swim after another.
圣经只是一个又一个的大水槽或游泳。
God throwing people into some situation where they're supposed to figure it out and do the right thing.
上帝把人们置于某种境地,他们应该弄清楚并做正确的事。
Like for instance, Noah and the flood.
例如,诺亚和洪水。
Jonathan Goldstein has today's lesson.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦今天有课。
Contrary to what most people think, the years leading up to the great flood were actually quite joyful.
与大多数人的想法相反,大洪水之前的几年实际上是非常快乐的。
The pre-flood generation saw that the random smitings, the slavery, and the back-breaking labor of the early days had left their forefathers bitter and hateful.
洪水前的一代人看到,早期的随意殴打、奴役和艰苦的劳动让他们的祖先感到痛苦和仇恨。
And so they collectively resolved to live lives of greater ease.
因此,他们共同决定过上更加安逸的生活。
Work, they realized, was overrated.
他们意识到,工作被高估了。
Two days of toil a week were plenty.
一周工作两天就足够了。
In this way, they had time for hobbies.
这样,他们就有时间发展自己的爱好了。
People drew pictures, played music, and danced.
人们画画、演奏音乐、跳舞。
It was a golden age of art.
那是艺术的黄金时代。
And the pre-flood generation really felt like they were onto something.
洪水前的一代人确实感觉自己已经意识到了一些事情。
One man though felt that this whole business was ass-backwards and off track.
但有一个人觉得这整个事情完全倒退,偏离了轨道。
His name was Noah.
他的名字叫诺亚。
He was over 400 years old and was used to the work ethic of the good old days.
他已经 400 多岁了,已经习惯了过去美好时光的职业道德。
Noah swore in his wrath that he for one would always remain old school and he would keep his children old school, by teaching them about the value of good, hard work.
诺亚在愤怒中发誓,他将永远保持守旧的态度,他也会让他的孩子们保持守旧的态度,教导他们良好、努力工作的价值。
Noah and his sons were contractors.
诺亚和他的儿子们都是承包商。
They built huts for people.
他们为人们建造小屋。
Officially, the company name was Noah and Son and Son and Son.
公司正式名称为Noah and Son and Son and Son。
Though in private, Noah referred to his outfit as Noah and his good for nothing dummies.
尽管在私下里,诺亚称他的服装为“诺亚”,也称他为“无用的假人”。
He called his sons dummies at least 100 times a day.
他每天至少给儿子们打电话 100 次。
Noah knew he disciplined his boys with great ferocity.
诺亚知道他对孩子们的管教非常严厉。
But he also knew it was necessary.
但他也知道这是必要的。
During those dark, evil days, one had to teach one's children right from wrong.
在那些黑暗、邪恶的日子里,人们必须教导自己的孩子是非。
And if that involved the use of straps, riding crops, thick branches, throat punches, and leg locks, so be it.
如果这涉及使用带子、马鞭、粗树枝、喉咙拳和腿锁,那就这样吧。
That was what a father had to do.
这就是一个父亲必须做的事情。
One day while yelling at his sons as they worked, Noah heard a voice.
有一天,诺亚在儿子们干活时对他们大喊大叫,他听到一个声音。
He could only hear it faintly, under his own words.
他只能隐隐约约听到自己的话。
At first he thought it was a whistling in his nose hairs.
起初他以为那是他鼻毛里发出的口哨声。
He pressed a finger to each side of his nose and shotgunned mucus onto the floor.
他用一根手指按住鼻子两侧,然后用霰弹枪将粘液喷到地板上。
But still, the ghostly voice below the surface of his own speech persisted.
但尽管如此,他自己言语之下的幽灵般的声音仍然存在。
When he stopped to try and hear it better, the little voice would cease.
当他停下来想听得更清楚时,那小小的声音就停止了。
Noah started to speak once more.
诺亚再次开始说话。
And once more he heard the tiny voice behind his own voice.
他再一次听到了自己声音背后的微小声音。
It was mumbly and high pitched, and he could hardly hear it.
那声音低沉而高亢,他几乎听不见。
He kept his mouth shut for the rest of the day, communicating his wishes to his sons through a hardy assortment of lashes, sucker punches, and head butts.
那天剩下的时间里,他一直闭嘴,通过各种严厉的鞭打、拳头和头撞向儿子们表达自己的愿望。
He put down his wine jug and waited for sobriety to return, whereupon he would take a long walk with Brandy, his beloved poodle.
他放下酒壶,等待清醒过来,然后和他心爱的贵宾犬布兰迪一起散步。
He would talk freely.
他会畅所欲言。
He would see if the little voice still lingered.
他要看看那个小声音是否还存在。
Several weeks went by, and the voice continued still.
几个星期过去了,那个声音依然没有停止。
Eventually, Noah began to understand little bits here and there.
最终,诺亚开始明白一些事情。
Out in the woods, Noah would speak.
在树林里,诺亚会说话。
I am talking.
我正在说话。
I am talking.
我正在说话。
Blah, blah, blah.
巴拉,巴拉,巴拉。
My sons are dummies.
我的儿子们都是傻瓜。
Blah, blah, blah.
巴拉,巴拉,巴拉。
I am listening, and I'm talking.
我在听,我在说。
Blah, blah, blah.
巴拉,巴拉,巴拉。
And as he spoke, he could hear, "You must build an ark made of gopher wood.
当他说话时,他听见:“你必须用歌斐木建造一艘方舟。
I will guide your hand to choose animals, which you will place within the ark.
我将引导你的手选择动物,将它们放入方舟内。
There is going to be a great flood.
将会有一场大洪水。
All will drown except you and yours, and the chosen animals."
除了你和你的家人,以及被选中的动物之外,所有人都会被淹死。”
"What is gopher wood?" "It's this wood that gophers like."
“歌斐木是什么?” “这就是地鼠喜欢的树林。”
"Can I enlist the help of the dummies to build the ark?"
“我可以请假人帮助建造方舟吗?”
"Why build an ark?" "I shall bring a flood that will wipe out the world.
“为什么要建造方舟?” “我将带来一场洪水,毁灭世界。
The whole thing was a bad mistake, except for you.
整件事都是一个严重的错误,除了你。
You I like."
我喜欢你。”
"Who are you?" "I'm the creator of the universe."
“你是谁?” “我是宇宙的创造者。”
Noah decided to set the whole family down and tell them what God had in store.
诺亚决定放下全家人,告诉他们上帝的旨意。
I was just talking with the Lord, said Noah.
“我只是在与主交谈,”诺亚说。
And you know what, he regrets having made his children too.
你知道吗,他也后悔生下了自己的孩子。
And he says it just like this.
他就是这样说的。
I will blot them out.
我会把它们抹掉。
The brothers looked at each other.
兄弟俩面面相觑。
"What does that mean, blot them out?", asked his son Shem.
“把它们抹掉是什么意思?”他的儿子闪问。
You take your thumb and you smoosh 'em into the earth like lady bugs.
你用拇指把它们像瓢虫一样压进土里。
He's going to drown the whole world with his tears of rage.
他要用他的愤怒的泪水淹没整个世界。
And after everyone's dead, he's going to start fresh.
当所有人都死后,他将重新开始。
And guess who he chose to spearhead the operation?
猜猜他选择谁来带头行动?
That's right.
这是正确的。
Me.
我。
Also, you virginal dummies have to get married so we can reseed the earth.
另外,你们这些处女假人必须结婚,这样我们才能在地球上重新播种。
Enough waxing the nimrod.
给尼姆罗德打蜡就够了。
Clean your toga and get out there.
清洁你的长袍并出去。
His father had had visions before.
他的父亲以前曾有过幻觉。
And so the prevailing opinion was that the old man was, once again, off his rocker.
因此,普遍的看法是,这位老人再一次精神错乱了。
Of everyone, the family, the neighbors, the village at large, it was Noah's youngest son Ham who was the only one that sort of believed that his father might not be crazy.
在所有人、家人、邻居、整个村庄中,诺亚最小的儿子哈姆是唯一一个相信他的父亲可能没有疯的人。
From what Ham had heard about God, he was a lot like their father.
根据含对上帝的了解,他很像他们的父亲。
Tough, stubborn, and prone to yelling right in your face for pretty much no reason.
强硬、固执,而且很容易无缘无故当着你的面大喊大叫。
To Ham, a flood didn't seem that out of the question.
对哈姆来说,洪水似乎并不是不可能的。
And God would have chosen his father, because his father felt just like he did.
上帝会选择他的父亲,因为他父亲的感受和他一样。
He hated his kids, and was going to teach them the meaning of righteousness by killing them dead.
他恨他的孩子,要杀了他们,让他们明白正义的意义。
Sometimes when his father was hard at work on his ark, Ham would sit off to the side and draw pictures of it.
有时,当他的父亲正在努力建造他的方舟时,哈姆会坐在一边为它画画。
It incensed Noah.
这激怒了诺亚。
Are you sick in the head, Noah would exclaim.
“你脑子有病吗?”诺亚会惊呼道。
Why would anyone want to make stupid pictures?
为什么有人想要制作愚蠢的照片?
Can you eat them?
你能吃它们吗?
Can you build a house with them?
你能和他们一起盖房子吗?
Can you use your precious art to diaper your loins?
你能用你珍贵的艺术来给你的腰部换尿布吗?
As far as Noah could see, Ham's artist friends did not contribute much to society.
在诺亚看来,汉姆的艺术家朋友对社会没有多大贡献。
Still, Ham liked them.
尽管如此,哈姆还是喜欢它们。
He spent much of his time with a woman artist named Lila.
他大部分时间都和一位名叫莉拉的女艺术家在一起。
Recently, Lila had covered an apple tree in bear fur and replaced all the apples with dead snakes.
最近,莉拉用熊毛覆盖了一棵苹果树,并用死蛇代替了所有的苹果。
She called it the tree of knowledge.
她称其为知识树。
Ham thought Lila's work was provocative.
哈姆认为莉拉的作品具有挑衅性。
And he thought Lila herself was possessed of a strange blond-haired, weasel-like beauty.
他还认为莉拉本人有着一种奇怪的金发、黄鼠狼般的美貌。
While sitting together one day sketching pictures of Noah as he worked, Ham turned to Lila and said, "If somehow the old man is right about this whole flood thing, I'd like you to come and ride out the flood with me." Lila considered Ham's offer.
有一天,哈姆坐在一起为诺亚工作时画草图,他对莉拉说:“如果这位老人对整个洪水事件的看法是正确的,我希望你能来和我一起渡过洪水。”莉拉考虑了哈姆的提议。
Then she took his hand.
然后她握住了他的手。
When the ark was ready, Noah took to the task of gathering animals.
当方舟准备好后,诺亚开始收集动物。
After only one day of work, he already looked like hell.
仅仅工作了一天,他就已经一副地狱般的样子。
He appeared to be bleeding out of every pore in his body.
他身上的每一个毛孔似乎都在流血。
He had two black eyes, three broken ribs, and his nose hung half off his face from a bobcat bite.
他有两只黑眼睛,三根肋骨断了,鼻子被山猫咬伤,半张脸都垂下来了。
So great was his pain, that after the very first day even Noah began to doubt whether he had actually heard the voice of God.
他的痛苦如此之大,以至于在第一天之后,甚至诺亚也开始怀疑他是否真的听到了上帝的声音。
"Is one obligated to trust the voice inside one's nose?" Noah asked himself.
“一个人有义务相信自己鼻子里的声音吗?”诺亚问自己。
Maybe I am sick in the head.
也许我脑子有病。
But what is there left for me?
但我还剩下什么呢?
If I admit to that, it means the dancing dummies are right about the world and I am wrong.
如果我承认这一点,那就意味着跳舞假人对世界的看法是正确的,而我错了。
There is nothing left for me to do but to persist.
除了坚持,我别无他法。
And so he persisted.
所以他坚持了下来。
As Noah hunted around for animals, he judged them.
当诺亚到处寻找动物时,他对它们进行了评判。
He wanted to try and bring only the most worthy animals aboard his ark.
他想尝试只将最有价值的动物带上他的方舟。
He would stop by a group of rabbits and figure out who was a hardworking rabbit and who was a lazy, stupid dummy.
他会在一群兔子旁边停下来,找出谁是一只勤劳的兔子,谁是一只懒惰、愚蠢的假人。
Judging the rabbits made him feel a bit like God.
评判兔子让他感觉有点像上帝。
He liked that.
他喜欢这样。
As he walked away with the ones he had chosen for salvation, he would look back at their brethren and shake his head disapprovingly.
当他带着他选择拯救的人走开时,他会回头看看他们的弟兄,不以为然地摇摇头。
Goodbye, you dead dummies.
再见,你们这些死傻瓜。
And that was that.
就是这样。
The flood started slowly.
洪水慢慢开始。
It did not seem biblical at all.
这看起来根本不符合圣经。
The first day was nothing more than a drizzle really.
第一天确实只是蒙蒙细雨。
Nothing to cause alarm.
没有什么可以引起警觉的。
It continued like this for some time.
这样持续了一段时间。
We sure are getting an awful lot of rain for this time of year, people said.
人们说,每年的这个时候我们肯定会下很多雨。
But eventually it got worse.
但最终情况变得更糟。
The rain fell faster and heavier.
雨下得更快、更大。
Each drop fat with purpose and spite.
每个人都有目的和怨恨地减脂。
Ham stood looking at the ark with Lila at his side.
汉姆站着看着方舟,莉拉站在他身边。
His father was already on board.
他的父亲已经在船上了。
He'd begun to live in there several days earlier as the very first drops of water fell.
几天前,当第一滴水落下时,他就开始住在那里了。
Ham turned his head towards the sky and felt the drops of rain pock-mark his face.
汉姆把头转向天空,感觉到雨滴在他的脸上留下了麻子。
He imagined them all in the ark.
他想象他们都在方舟里。
He imagined the aardvarks, the orangutans, the smell, the claustrophobia, his father's constant screams and shouts.
他想象着土豚、猩猩、气味、幽闭恐惧症、父亲不断的尖叫和叫喊。
He imagined himself deciding at the very last minute to forego the ark entirely and take his chances with the flood.
他想象自己在最后一刻决定完全放弃方舟,并在洪水中碰碰运气。
The sky began to hemorrhage.
天空开始流血。
All at once, the drops became indistinguishable one from the other.
突然之间,这些水滴变得彼此无法区分。
The water poured down like all the heavens had become an inverted ocean.
水倾泻而下,仿佛整个天空都变成了一片倒转的海洋。
Ham opened his mouth to scream and caught a yap-full of water.
哈姆张开嘴想尖叫,结果发出一声充满水的狂叫。
The taste reminded him of this time when he was 10 and had almost drowned at the beach.
这个味道让他想起了他10岁时在海滩上差点被淹死的那次。
In a panic, he grabbed Lila by the skin of her bicep and together, they ran up the plank and into the cold, echoey darkness of the ark.
惊慌失措中,他抓住了莉拉的二头肌,然后他们一起跑上木板,进入方舟冰冷、回响的黑暗中。
The first hands he heard banging at the outside walls of the ark felt like nails pushing into his temples.
他第一次听到有人敲打方舟外壁的声音,感觉就像钉子刺进了他的太阳穴。
Then there were more hands, pounding, punching, scratching.
然后更多的手开始敲打、拳打、抓挠。
Then kicks and shrieking that even drowned out the sound of the rain.
然后踢腿和尖叫甚至淹没了雨声。
The worst was when Ham was able to make out individual voices.
最糟糕的是哈姆能够辨别出个人的声音。
He could hear their neighbor [?
他能听到他们的邻居[?
Zebala ?] and her little daughter Ariel.
泽巴拉?]和她的小女儿阿里尔。
They called his name.
他们叫了他的名字。
"Let them bang", said Noah.
“让他们爆炸”,诺亚说。
"God knows what he's doing."
“天知道他在做什么。”
"You know, we can empty out the alligator cage to make room for a few more people", offered Ham.
“你知道,我们可以清空鳄鱼笼,为更多的人腾出空间”,哈姆说道。
"The world can do without alligators."
“世界可以没有鳄鱼。”
"And disobey God?
“并且违背上帝?
You dummy.
你这个假人。
And you try reopening that door.
然后你尝试重新打开那扇门。
Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass we'd be in for?
你知道我们会陷入多么痛苦的境地吗?
No thanks." Noah sat down and ate apples in the dark, waiting for his ark to rise above the world.
不,谢谢。”诺亚在黑暗中坐下来吃苹果,等待他的方舟升到世界之上。
For 40 days and 40 nights, they rode the ark as the animals roared, whined, and screeched.
40天40夜,他们乘坐方舟,听着动物们的咆哮、哀鸣和尖叫。
Sometimes when things quieted down, Noah and his family pressed their ears against the walls to try and figure out where they were.
有时,当一切安静下来后,诺亚和他的家人就会把耳朵贴在墙上,试图弄清楚他们在哪里。
Most often though, they just spent their time remembering.
但大多数情况下,他们只是花时间回忆。
Ham thought back to the days he'd spent with his artist friends and some of the old crowd he ran with.
汉姆回想起他与艺术家朋友以及一些老朋友一起跑步的日子。
There was Aloysius, who lived in a tree house and made big pots of bark soup for the hungry.
阿洛伊修斯住在树屋里,为饥饿的人煮一大锅树皮汤。
And Gwendolyn, a young widow who kept her big fat baby in a sack on her back.
还有格温多林,一位年轻的寡妇,她把她那又大又胖的婴儿放在背上的麻袋里。
And when she danced, you couldn't help but smile.
当她跳舞时,你会情不自禁地微笑。
He thought about every single person he had ever known, and how he would never see them again.
他想到了他所认识的每一个人,以及他将如何再也见不到他们。
Believing it might bring him some solace, Ham pulled out a stick of a sketching tool and some parchment, and went over to draw the puppies in their cages.
汉姆相信这会给他带来一些安慰,于是他拿出一根素描工具棒和一些羊皮纸,走过去画了笼子里的小狗。
He studied their faces.
他审视着他们的脸。
He tried to see what God and his father had seen in them, why they had chosen in these particular dogs over all the others.
他试图了解上帝和他的父亲在它们身上看到了什么,为什么他们选择了这些特殊的狗而不是其他的狗。
The two dogs paced about their cage.
两只狗在笼子里来回踱步。
And as Ham watched them, the puppy that was slightly larger set upon the haunch of the other.
当哈姆看着他们时,那只稍大一点的小狗停在了另一只小狗的屁股上。
And for no apparent reason, tore into it with nasty, purposeful bites.
没有任何明显的原因,用令人讨厌的、有目的的咬伤撕扯它。
The smaller dog yelped, twisted its body over, and sank its teeth into the ear of its attacker.
小一点的狗叫了一声,把身体扭了过来,把牙齿咬进了攻击者的耳朵里。
Flopped upon each other in this way, the puppies rolled across the floor.
小狗们就这样互相扑倒,在地板上滚来滚去。
Ham turned away and walked over to the giraffe cage.
哈姆转身走向长颈鹿笼子。
There he found the long-necked beasts eye-to-eye, each trying to step on the other's hooves.
在那里,他发现长颈兽面对面,每只都试图踩对方的蹄子。
He looked over at the tiger cage, where the tigers were scraping at the walls to get at the bear cubs next door.
他看了看老虎笼,里面的老虎正在刮着墙壁,想要吃隔壁的小熊。
And the bear cubs sat stock still, eyeing Ham with hunger.
小熊们一动不动地坐着,用饥饿的目光看着汉姆。
Ham left the cages and went looking for Lila.
哈姆离开笼子去寻找莉拉。
She was sitting on the floor, painting a flower onto a rock she held in her hand.
她坐在地板上,在手里的一块石头上画一朵花。
He knelt down beside her, put his face in her hair, and waited for the rain to stop.
他在她身边跪下来,把脸埋进她的头发里,等待雨停。
Jonathan Goldstein.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦。
He's the host of the CBC radio program, Wire Tap.
他是 CBC 广播节目 Wire Tap 的主持人。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by Mr. Torey Malatia, who is always coming up and asking me, what is the point to all these radio shows that we do?
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理部门由 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行监督,他总是过来问我,我们做的所有这些广播节目有什么意义?
Can you eat them?
你能吃它们吗?
Can you build a house with them?
你能和他们一起盖房子吗?
Can you use your precious art to diaper your loins?
你能用你珍贵的艺术来给你的腰部换尿布吗?
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作,并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。