312: How We Talked Back Then - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #312 | May 12, 2006 312: How We Talked Back Then Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 312 集 | 2006 年 5 月 12 日 312：我们当时是如何交谈的 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
序言 Ira Glass 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这就是美国生活，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Long ago, when our radio show was first on the air, we tried an experiment, two experiments, actually.
很久以前，当我们的广播节目第一次播出时，我们尝试了一个实验，实际上是两个实验。
We did two of our shows onstage in Chicago within six months of each other.
我们在芝加哥的舞台上演出了两场演出，时间间隔不到六个月。
In the first, at this small club called the Lunar Cabaret, we had a kind of open mic, where people came onstage and they read letters, letters that they'd received, letters that they'd written, letters that they'd found.
首先，在这个名为 Lunar Cabaret 的小俱乐部，我们有一种开放式麦克风，人们走上台，他们读信件，他们收到的信件，他们写的信件，他们发现的信件。
The second show, at the Museum of Contemporary Art, was all about this new phenomenon called the internet.
第二场展览在当代艺术博物馆举行，主题是互联网这一新现象。
This was 1997, and most people were still just discovering the internet.
那是 1997 年，大多数人刚刚发现互联网。
And we invited our listeners to come on and tell us stories about things that were happening on the web that never would have happened anywhere else.
我们邀请听众来给我们讲一些在网络上发生的、在其他地方永远不会发生的事情的故事。
Today on our radio show, we're going to go back to those two shows.
今天在我们的广播节目中，我们将回顾这两个节目。
They're like little time capsules, those shows.
那些节目就像小时间胶囊。
The internet stuff, which is going to be the second half of today's program, it just seems so quaint that we were asking ourselves, how big is this internet thing going to be?
互联网的东西，这将是今天节目的后半部分，它看起来很奇怪，我们不禁要问自己，这个互联网的东西会有多大？
Is it really going to change things?
它真的会改变事情吗？
And the letters that people read onstage that we're going to play in the first half of the show, even that feels like it's from a completely other time.
人们在舞台上读到的我们将在演出的前半部分播放的信件，甚至感觉像是来自完全不同的时间。
Like, today, who writes letters?
就像今天，谁写信？
When do you write a letter except for a thank you note or a letter to get a job?
除了感谢信或求职信之外，你什么时候写信？
Even soldiers in Iraq, when they write home to their families, they use email.
即使是伊拉克的士兵，当他们给家人写信时，他们也会使用电子邮件。
My co-host for both of these old shows was a Chicago playwright named David Hauptschein.
我这两场老节目的共同主持人是一位芝加哥剧作家，名叫大卫·豪普特沙因 (David Hauptschein)。
David had been hosting and organizing events like this around Chicago where he would have people come onstage and read letters.
大卫一直在芝加哥各地主持和组织类似的活动，他会让人们上台朗读信件。
So let's go back in time to 1996 and 1997.
让我们回到 1996 年和 1997 年。
All right, you see this egg timer here?
好吧，你看到这里的煮蛋计时器了吗？
This egg timer will get you off the stage after five minutes.
这个煮蛋计时器将在五分钟后让你离开舞台。
When you hear [BELL RING] that, you must stop.
当您听到[铃声]时，您必须停止。
If you're really nervous, I have this little elephant for people to hold, in case they're really--
如果你真的很紧张，我有一只小象可以让人抱，以防他们真的——
He's holding up a-- David Hauptschein Oh, it's a rhino.
他举着一头—— David Hauptschein 哦，这是一头犀牛。
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
对不起，对不起，对不起。
You're holding up about a six-inch long, gray rhinoceros, fluffy rhinoceros.
你举着一头大约六英寸长的灰犀牛，毛茸茸的犀牛。
So I will leave this up here on the podium.
所以我会把它留在讲台上。
So if anyone gets really tense, just hang on to this.
所以如果有人真的很紧张，就坚持下去。
I hold in my hand a bowl, a silver bowl full of pieces of paper on which members of our audience here have written their names.
我手里拿着一个碗，一个装满纸片的银碗，上面写下了我们这里的观众的名字。
OK, I'll read you a couple things from Carolyn.
好的，我给你读一下卡罗琳的几件事。
Hiya, hun.
嗨，哼。
What are you up to?
你要做什么？
I'm listening to Motley Crue, Shout at the Devil.
我正在听 Motley Crue 的《Shout at the Devil》。
That's a pretty kick-ass tape.
这是一盘非常精彩的磁带。
It's Joe's, but it's still a kick-ass tape, and Vince Neil is such a fox.
这是乔的，但仍然是一盘很牛逼的磁带，而文斯·尼尔真是个狐狸精。
I'd love to go backstage at a Crue concert.
我很想去克鲁音乐会的后台。
I'd be in total heaven, because I know what I'd do, and I'll bet you do too.
我会感觉就像在天堂一样，因为我知道我会做什么，我敢打赌你也知道。
Like my green marker?
喜欢我的绿色记号笔吗？
I think it's cool.
我认为这很酷。
Explain this to me.
向我解释一下这一点。
Something fishy's going on.
发生了一些可疑的事情。
What?
什么？
I don't know.
我不知道。
But you're acting fishy, so don't lie, and it's nothing I did.
但你的行为很可疑，所以不要撒谎，这不是我做的。
I don't act any different than before we did it.
我的行为与我们之前没有什么不同。
Are you trying to say that I'm acting different, or I'm slightly more insane than unusual?
你是想说我的行为与众不同，还是我有点疯狂而不是异常？
Is that what you mean?
你是这个意思吗？
I'm acting differently?
我的表现不一样？
If that's what you mean, how?
如果这就是你的意思，怎么办？
I just heard Judas Priest [?
我刚刚听到犹大牧师[？
talking to ?] Dio.
说话？]迪奥。
That's pretty kick-ass.
这真是太棒了。
Why did Chris ask for me today?
克里斯今天为什么找我？
And why did you guys hang up on me?
你们为什么挂断我的电话？
That's pretty ignorant, not to mention immature and rude.
这是相当无知，更不用说不成熟和粗鲁了。
I'm listening to Motley Crue, "Bastard" again, so they are so cool.
我又在听 Motley Crue 的《Bastard》，他们太酷了。
I haven't decided if I like Crue or Maiden better yet, but they're both totally kick-ass.
我还没有决定我更喜欢 Crue 还是 Maiden，但他们都非常棒。
God, is this note [BLEEP] dumb.
天哪，这个音符[BLEEP]是哑巴吗？
It's 7:30 and I want it to be 8:30 because then I can listen to RPM, Real Precious Metal 103.1.
现在是 7:30，我希望是 8:30，因为那时我可以听 RPM、Real Precious Metal 103.1。
831-1031.
831-1031。
Kick ass!
踢屁股！
"Helter skelter, you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer, helter skelter."
“狼狈，你可能是一个情人，但你不是舞者，狼狈。”
Next reader, Neal Pollack.
下一位读者是尼尔·波拉克。
Neal Pollack Hi.
尼尔·波拉克 你好。
I wrote-- can I hold this?
我写了——我可以拿着这个吗？
Please do.
请这样做。
Ira Glass Neal is holding the rhinoceros.
艾拉·格拉斯·尼尔抱着犀牛。
I wrote these letters soon after I graduated from college.
这些信是我大学毕业后不久写的。
And I like to turn back to them every now and then to remind myself what an idiot I was.
我喜欢时不时地回头看看他们，提醒自己我是一个多么白痴的人。
I believed at the time that I could get any job I wanted anywhere at any point.
当时我相信我可以在任何时间任何地点找到我想要的任何工作。
And these letters, I think, are indicative.
我认为这些信件具有代表性。
Here's one I wrote to Tina Brown, who was then the editor of Vanity Fair magazine.
这是我写给蒂娜·布朗的一封信，她当时是《名利场》杂志的编辑。
Dear Ms. Brown, I'll cut to the quick.
亲爱的布朗女士，我就直截了当地说吧。
[LAUGHTER] I would like to work for The New Yorker , and I imagine, with the big changeover, you may need lots of editorial help.
[笑声]我想为《纽约客》工作，我想，随着巨大的转变，你可能需要大量的编辑帮助。
So I'm throwing my hat into the ring and asking you to consider hiring me as an editorial assistant for your new project.
因此，我向您提出请求，请您考虑聘请我作为您的新项目的编辑助理。
I've been precociously reading The New Yorker for some time now.
我早熟地阅读《纽约客》已经有一段时间了。
Most of the writers I respect most, living and dead, have written for your magazine at some time.
大多数我最尊敬的作家，无论是在世的还是已故的，都曾经为你们的杂志撰稿过。
I'm willing to cut my journalistic and literary teeth elsewhere if I can't get a job at The New Yorker , but I am determined not to end up anywhere else.
如果我不能在《纽约客》找到工作，我愿意在其他地方开始我的新闻和文学生涯，但我决心不会去其他地方。
The resume I've enclosed doesn't indicate this, but I've been working as a freelance writer since graduating two months ago.
我附上的简历并未表明这一点，但自两个月前毕业以来，我一直在担任自由撰稿人。
[LAUGHTER]
[笑声]
I've been doing pretty well, but I'm still waiting for the big score.
我已经做得很好了，但我还在等待大比分。
Maybe you could help.
也许你能帮忙。
I strongly encourage you to take a chance on me, but if I don't suit your needs at this time, thank you for reviewing my application.
我强烈建议您给我一个机会，但如果我目前不能满足您的需求，感谢您审阅我的申请。
I look forward to hearing from you.
我期待收到您的来信。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
About six months later, I hadn't yet heard from Tina Brown.
大约六个月后，我还没有收到蒂娜·布朗的消息。
So I turned my gaze elsewhere.
于是我把目光转向别处。
Here's one I wrote to Strobe Talbott, who at the time was an editor-at-large at Time Magazine , and now, as you may or may not know, is a Deputy to the Secretary of State in the Clinton administration.
这是我写给斯特罗布·塔尔博特的一封信，他当时是《时代》杂志的特约编辑，现在，你可能知道，也可能不知道，他是克林顿政府的国务卿副手。
So here's what I wrote to Strobe.
这就是我写给 Strobe 的内容。
Dear Mr. Talbott, I'm a damn good editor.
亲爱的塔尔博特先生，我是一位非常好的编辑。
I'm young and gutsy as a marine in combat.
作为一名参加战斗的海军陆战队员，我年轻而勇敢。
My terse, tough prose style would make Raymond Chandler weep.
我简洁、强硬的散文风格会让雷蒙德·钱德勒哭泣。
Somewhere, somehow, the grapevine told me that you're starting a magazine called Globe Review .
不知何故，小道消息告诉我，你正在创办一本名为《环球评论》的杂志。
Said vine also let me know that the staff will be small, which means you're not hiring too many people.
藤说还让我知道员工人数会很少，这意味着你们不会雇用太多人。
[LAUGHTER]
[笑声]
Being low man on the totem pole is fine with me.
作为图腾柱上的低等人对我来说很好。
Your magazine sounds original, smart, and progressive, sophisticated but not shallow.
你的杂志听起来新颖、聪明、进步、复杂但不肤浅。
Of course, I'm just guessing.
当然，我只是猜测。
Can you go global without me?
没有我你能走向全球吗？
I think so.
我想是的。
Should you?
你应该吗？
I think not.
我认为不是。
Or at least hope not.
或者至少希望不会。
I'll do good work as an assistant editor, copy editor, or researcher.
作为助理编辑、文案编辑或研究员，我会做好工作。
I'll be in New York City from November 11 through 17.
我将于 11 月 11 日至 17 日在纽约市。
If you'd like to interview me, you can contact me at the Chicago address on my resume until then.
如果您想采访我，可以通过我简历上的芝加哥地址与我联系。
Thank you for reviewing my application, and I look forward to seeing the magazine, whether I'm part of it or not.
感谢您审阅我的申请，无论我是否参与其中，我都期待着看到这本杂志。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
Next reader, Jenny Magnus.
下一位读者是珍妮·马格纳斯。
Jenny Magnus All right, this is a letter that I received.
珍妮·马格纳斯 好吧，这是我收到的一封信。
It's addressed to me.
这是写给我的。
So my name is Jenny Magnus.
我的名字是珍妮·马格纳斯。
And on the envelope it says, "Lessons for Advanced Beginners." And then on the back, it says, "burn after reading."
信封上写着：“高级初学者课程”。然后背面写着“阅后即焚”。
Dear Ms. Magnus, I almost fell off my chair when, during one of your pieces, you implied that you are, quote, "a really good artist." After sitting there listening to you chant "mama, mama, mama, mama, mama," which you got from Janov's book Primal Scream-- I shop through paperbacks at thrift stores, too-- then hearing you chant "give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me," I sat there wondering just how conventional some pretentious chick dressed in black can be.
亲爱的马格努斯女士，在您的一篇作品中，当您暗示您是“一位非常优秀的艺术家”时，我差点从椅子上摔下来。坐在那里听你喊“妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，妈妈，妈妈”，这是从雅诺夫的《原始尖叫》中读到的——我也在旧货店买平装本——然后听到你喊“把它给我，给我，给我，给我，给我，”我坐在那里，想知道一些穿着黑衣的自命不凡的小妞是多么传统。
I, by the way, use "chick" lightly, since you are not very feminine.
顺便说一句，我轻描淡写地使用“小鸡”，因为你不太女性化。
In fact, you are nothing but a contrived, self-deceiving, selfish, not overly bright, mediocre joke.
事实上，你只不过是一个做作的、自欺欺人的、自私的、不太聪明的、平庸的笑话。
You might be able to fool the poseurs who hang around Urbis Orbis flattering your brother pretending to know, but not me, babe.
你也许能愚弄那些在乌尔比斯奥比斯周围闲逛、奉承你哥哥假装知道的人，但不能愚弄我，宝贝。
Not me, babe.
不是我，宝贝。
I use "babe" lightly.
我轻轻地使用“宝贝”。
You are not a babe.
你不是一个宝贝。
You have-- [LAUGHTER] You have no sensuality, no charm, no looks, et cetera.
你——[笑声]你没有性感，没有魅力，没有外表，等等。
Without affectation, without deliberately taking steps to appear avant, where would you be?
不做作，不刻意表现得前卫，你会在哪里？
Nothing comes naturally to you, does it?
对你来说，没有什么是自然而然的，不是吗？
You really have to steal and grub and labor.
你真的必须偷窃、掠夺和劳动。
In fact, you are perusing this letter for material right now, I bet.
事实上，我敢打赌，您现在正在仔细阅读这封信以获取材料。
[LAUGHTER]
[笑声]
I realized how repressed and affected you are during "Loser's Alias." And thank God for the fire which started, or you'd probably still be on the floor reciting your brother's tripe.
我在《失败者的别名》中意识到你是多么压抑和受影响。感谢上帝让我们生了火，否则你可能还在地板上背诵你哥哥的牛肚。
You are just too, too uptight, baby.
你实在是太、太紧张了，宝贝。
You think you can act uninhibited, but why do you want to?
你以为你可以肆无忌惮，但你为什么要这么做呢？
Is it that important to you that you seem to yourself and others as if you are special?
在自己和他人眼中你显得很特别，这对你来说有那么重要吗？
You are quite interesting, the only person with absolutely no substance I've ever met.
你很有趣，是我见过的唯一一个毫无实质内容的人。
How did you get so [BLEEP]?
你怎么变得这么[BLEEP]？
Give up art.
放弃艺术。
You're no good at it, anyway.
反正你也不擅长。
And save your [BLEEP] ass.
并拯救你的[BLEEP]屁股。
Sincerely, Mason 32 Degrees.
此致， 梅森 32 度。
PS, well, I've done my good deed for tonight.
PS，好吧，今晚我已经做了我的好事了。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
Our next reader, pulled from our bowl of readers, Adam Davidson.
我们的下一位读者是从我们的读者中选出的，亚当·戴维森。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
OK.
好的。
This is age 16.
这是16岁。
Dear Adam, I can lose my guard best when I write.
亲爱的亚当，当我写作时，我最能放松警惕。
No wonder I scared off S with my letter.
难怪我的信吓跑了S。
Speaking of which, I didn't hear from him.
说起来，我没有收到他的消息。
You see, how can I ever think of hurting you like that?
你看，我怎么会想到这样伤害你呢？
Let's say something starts between us.
假设我们之间发生了一些事情。
What about S?
那么S呢？
I may not like him, but maybe I do.
我可能不喜欢他，但也许我喜欢。
Also, what if I'm just on the rebound from Dave?
另外，如果我只是从戴夫那里恢复过来怎么办？
Not that I didn't like you before-- maybe I'm just free to say it now-- but I might be exaggerating it because I'm feeling a loss.
并不是说我以前不喜欢你——也许我现在可以自由地说——但我可能夸大了它，因为我感到失落。
Maybe we're confusing a really good friendship for love, et cetera.
也许我们混淆了真正良好的友谊和爱情等等。
You know the deal.
你知道这笔交易。
Also, let's say we do have sex.
另外，假设我们确实发生了性行为。
It'll be a bigger deal for you.
这对你来说会是一件更重要的事情。
Not that I won't take it seriously.
并不是说我不会认真对待它。
I have seriously thought about it.
我认真地思考过。
But it's a big responsibility to put on me, your first time, et cetera.
但这对我来说是一个很大的责任，你的第一次等等。
Now who's babbling?
现在是谁在胡言乱语？
Anyway, [LAUGHTER] I think you're a wonderful person and friend, and the last thing I want to do is screw that up.
不管怎样，[笑声]我认为你是一个很棒的人和朋友，我最不想做的就是搞砸。
Maybe we should just see, trial-run, if making out agrees with us.
也许我们应该看看，试运行，如果我们同意的话。
You never know, we might decide it doesn't feel right and keep things status quo.
你永远不知道，我们可能会认为这感觉不对并保持现状。
But we might end up getting it on every day.
但我们最终可能会每天都穿上它。
Excuse the vulgar language.
语言粗俗请见谅。
As that guy in English class would say, "there is no pretty way to look at sex."
正如英语课上那个人会说的那样，“没有什么漂亮的方式来看待性。”
Anyway, I love you, but I'm not sure what kind of love.
无论如何，我爱你，但我不确定是什么样的爱。
Love, K.
爱，K.
Geez, I don't even know what attracts me to you.
天哪，我什至不知道你什么吸引我。
You're so [BLEEP] perfect I guess.
我猜你是如此[哔]完美。
Then supplemental letter-- supplementary letter.
然后是补充信——补充信。
Will things be the same once the sexual tension is gone?
一旦性紧张消失，情况还会一样吗？
I think that's half the fun.
我想这就是乐趣的一半。
It's what has kept Moonlighting on the air.
这就是《Moonlighting》持续播出的原因。
Will we still be able to joke about getting married, et cetera, without feeling uncomfortable?
我们还能开着结婚之类的玩笑而不会感到不舒服吗？
Confusion, is there an S in confusion?
混乱，混乱中有一个S吗？
I'm even mixed up about that.
我什至对此感到困惑。
We went out after that for a year.
之后我们出去了一年。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
Andrew Fenchel?
安德鲁·芬切尔？
Andrew Fenchel OK, I found this letter in the street in my neighborhood.
安德鲁·芬切尔（Andrew Fenchel）好的，我在我家附近的街道上发现了这封信。
I think it won't really need any other introduction, except that where the letter-writer refers to Vienna, I think it's safe to assume that that's not Austria.
我认为它实际上不需要任何其他介绍，除了写信人提到维也纳的地方，我认为可以安全地假设那不是奥地利。
OK.
好的。
Time, 10:00 PM.
时间，晚上 10:00。
June 10, '96.
96 年 6 月 10 日。
Dear Carla, what's up, babe?
亲爱的卡拉，怎么了，宝贝？
How are you doing?
你好吗？
Fine, I hope.
好吧，我希望。
Well, I'm in Vienna.
嗯，我在维也纳。
But I didn't forget to write.
但我没有忘记写。
Baby, I miss you.
宝贝，我想你。
I can't wait to see you.
我等不及要见你了。
I've been thinking about you all the time, and I can't stop.
我一直在想你，无法停止。
I got into a fight in here with a king, and for that I got two weeks in the hole.
我在这里和一位国王打架，为此我在洞里呆了两周。
Baby, I hope you're not talking to someone else.
宝贝，我希望你没有和别人说话。
I've been waiting for your letters, but I haven't received any yet.
我一直在等你的来信，但还没有收到。
What's up with that?
这是怎么回事？
Carla, I feel that you don't love me anymore.
卡拉，我觉得你不再爱我了。
Baby, I love you more than what you could ever know.
宝贝，我爱你胜过你所能想象的。
I miss making love to you, kissing you.
我想念和你做爱、亲吻你。
Please send me some pictures of you.
请给我发一些你的照片。
When I get out of here, I'm going to get a job.
等我离开这里，我就去找份工作。
I'll even quit gang-banging if you show me you love me.
如果你让我知道你爱我，我什至会停止群交。
Carla, what do you mean when you say you went from 100% to 50%?
Carla，当你说你从 100% 上升到 50% 时，你是什么意思？
I don't understand.
我不明白。
I haven't been cheating on you, and I'll be with you all the time when I get out.
我没有欺骗你，出狱后我会一直陪着你。
Carla, I care about you a lot.
卡拉，我非常关心你。
You just don't know.
你只是不知道。
Why is your mom going to kick you out?
为什么你妈妈要把你赶出去？
What have you done?
你做了什么？
Please don't lie to me.
请不要对我撒谎。
Are you [BLEEP] around with someone else, staying out late?
你[BLEEP]和其他人在一起，在外面呆到很晚吗？
What is it?
它是什么？
I've got the feeling you are seeing someone else, but I guess I can't trip, so long as when I get out, you come back to me.
我有一种感觉，你正在和别人约会，但我想我不能绊倒，只要我出去后，你就回到我身边。
What do you mean that you love me and good luck in life?
你爱我并祝你生活愉快是什么意思？
[LAUGHTER] I get the first part but not the second.
[笑声]我得到了第一部分，但没有得到第二部分。
[LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] Are you breaking up with me?
[笑声] [鼓掌] 你要和我分手吗？
Are you going away from me?
你要离开我吗？
Whatever you do, wherever you go, you'll always be in my heart, Carla.
无论你做什么，无论你去哪里，你将永远在我心中，卡拉。
Believe that.
相信这一点。
I know you think I don't love you anymore, but you're wrong, babe.
我知道你认为我不再爱你了，但你错了，宝贝。
I said it before and I'll say it again, I love you Carla.
我以前说过，我会再说一遍，我爱你，卡拉。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
[MUSIC - "I GOT A LETTER FROM MY BABY" BY ELMORE JAMES]
[音乐 - 埃尔莫尔·詹姆斯的《我收到了一封来自我宝贝的信》]
Coming up, a guy offers a girl a late night tour of Microsoft, and this actually makes him seem hot.
接下来，一个男人邀请一个女孩深夜参观微软，这实际上让他看起来很性感。
That, and other hard-to-believe tales from the early days of the internet, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，还有来自互联网早期、芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台的其他令人难以置信的故事。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
If you're just tuning in, we're revisiting two live shows that we did in 1996 and '97, onstage in Chicago.
如果您刚刚收听，我们将重温 1996 年和 97 年在芝加哥舞台上进行的两场现场表演。
In one show, listeners brought letters and read them onstage.
在一场演出中，听众带来信件并在台上朗读。
And now we turn to the other show from back then.
现在我们转向当时的另一个节目。
Back then, the internet was still new to most of us.
那时，互联网对我们大多数人来说还是新鲜事物。
And so we decided we were going to do a show where we would try to figure out what was happening on the internet, especially if things were happening on the internet that would never happen anyplace else.
所以我们决定做一个节目，试图弄清楚互联网上正在发生什么，特别是如果互联网上发生的事情在其他地方永远不会发生。
And to answer that question, we advertised in cities around the country, inviting people to send us their stories about life on the internet.
为了回答这个问题，我们在全国各地的城市做广告，邀请人们在互联网上向我们发送他们的生活故事。
Some of these people I interviewed, and then others just showed up at the theater, at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago, the night we did the show.
我采访了其中一些人，然后其他人就在我们演出的那天晚上出现在芝加哥当代艺术博物馆的剧院里。
And they came up to the mic, and they read from emails or web pages.
他们走到麦克风前，阅读电子邮件或网页。
And I have to say, listening to this show, it's almost adorably quaint, the entire mission of this show.
我不得不说，听这个节目，它几乎是非常可爱的古雅，这就是这个节目的全部使命。
It's almost embarrassing, actually, to hear me and other people trying to think through this question, like, what is this internet?
事实上，听到我和其他人试图思考这个问题，比如，这个互联网是什么？
What is new about the internet?
互联网有什么新鲜事？
You'll hear there is a point where I'm talking to a woman who's looking through the websites of complete strangers.
你会听到，有一次我正在和一个正在浏览完全陌生的网站的女人交谈。
And it's like, can you believe it?
就像，你能相信吗？
She's looking through the websites of complete strangers.
她正在浏览完全陌生的网站。
And then she has this experience, which now is incredibly common, where she meets in person somebody who she first met on the internet.
然后她有了这样的经历，这种经历现在非常普遍，她见到了她第一次在互联网上认识的人。
And we're all talking about it like, can you believe that such a thing can happen in this world that we live in?
我们都在谈论它，你能相信这样的事情会发生在我们生活的这个世界上吗？
You'll hear.
你会听到的。
It's really interesting.
这真的很有趣。
It's like a historic document.
这就像一份历史文件。
So without further ado, let us turn on the time machine and go back to 1997.
话不多说，让我们打开时光机，回到1997年。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
So Mary is 19 years old, an English major at the University of Washington.
玛丽今年 19 岁，就读于华盛顿大学英语专业。
And one day, she's cruising the net, visiting the home pages of complete strangers.
有一天，她在网上漫游，访问完全陌生的人的主页。
And I came across this site that I thought was amazing.
我发现了这个我认为很棒的网站。
It was the most cutting-edge, thought-provoking site I had ever seen.
这是我见过的最前沿、最发人深省的网站。
And so I was examining it, checking it out, and I realized that this guy was my age, and he worked at Microsoft.
所以我正在检查它，检查它，我意识到这个人和我同龄，而且他在微软工作。
And that just blew me away.
这让我大吃一惊。
Because I'm a student, I can barely afford coffee in the morning.
因为我是学生，所以早上我几乎买不起咖啡。
And here, this guy worked at Microsoft.
在这里，这个人在微软工作。
I ended up emailing him just to tell him how much I liked his site and how amazing I thought it was.
我最终给他发了一封电子邮件，只是为了告诉他我有多喜欢他的网站以及我认为它有多神奇。
And he wrote back.
他回信说。
And that went on for about four or five days.
这样的情况持续了大约四五天。
We just kept writing back and forth.
我们只是不停地写来写去。
Really personal stuff, too, not just computer geek stuff.
也是真正个人的东西，而不仅仅是计算机极客的东西。
What is the brave new world of the internet?
互联网的美丽新世界是什么？
You can meet a stranger and get to know them intimately, much faster on the net than you can anywhere else.
您可以在网上结识陌生人并亲密地了解他们，这比在其他任何地方都要快得多。
But for a week, Mary and this guy wrote each other several times a day, long, personal emails.
但在一周的时间里，玛丽和这个家伙每天都会给对方写好几次长长的私人电子邮件。
Then they agreed to meet in person at a coffee shop on Valentine's Day.
然后他们同意在情人节那天在一家咖啡店见面。
I was nervous before we met, because I was worried that he wouldn't find me as interesting in real life.
我们见面之前我很紧张，因为我担心他在现实生活中不会觉得我有趣。
So we met for coffee.
所以我们见面喝咖啡。
We ended up spending the next 12 hours together.
我们最终一起度过了接下来的 12 个小时。
There wasn't really a turning point until a few days later.
直到几天后，事情才真正出现转折点。
We had continued to see each other.
我们继续见面。
And one night, we ended up going out to his office at Microsoft.
一天晚上，我们最终去了他在微软的办公室。
It was about midnight and nobody was there.
那时已经是半夜了，那里没有人。
And we were hanging out, and one thing led to another.
我们在一起闲逛，一件事又引发了另一件事。
And all of a sudden, we were making out.
突然之间，我们就亲热了。
And you were glad, though, because you were liking him.
不过你很高兴，因为你喜欢他。
Oh yeah, yeah.
哦，是的，是的。
It wasn't a bad thing.
这并不是一件坏事。
But it was awkward because it was my first time.
但这很尴尬，因为这是我第一次。
I had never really done that with anybody before.
我以前从未真正对任何人这样做过。
It was your very first time actually having sex with somebody?
这是你第一次真正与某人发生性关系吗？
Right, well, no. It was my first time kissing anybody.
对，好吧，不。这是我第一次亲吻任何人。
Because you hadn't had a high school boyfriend who you would do that with?
因为你没有一个高中男友可以和你一起做这件事？
No. No. I was a real big loner in high school.
不，不，我在高中时是一个非常孤独的人。
I didn't get out much.
我没有出去太多。
So it was your first time just making out with somebody and it was at Microsoft.
所以这是你第一次和某人亲热，而且是在微软。
Yeah.
是的。
And so it made it all the more surreal, I think.
我认为这让一切变得更加超现实。
It was just weird for me to think that, here's this guy I met a little over a week ago by chance on the internet.
我觉得很奇怪，这是我一个多星期前在互联网上偶然认识的这个人。
And here we are at his office doing this.
我们在他的办公室里做这件事。
And then after that, I barely heard from him.
从那以后，我就几乎没有他的消息了。
He told me that he didn't want a relationship right now, that he wanted to wait.
他告诉我他现在不想建立关系，他想等待。
He kept using the term, he wanted to make his first million before he had a relationship with somebody.
他一直用这个词，他想在与某人发生关系之前赚到他的第一个一百万。
His first million?
他的第一个一百万？
Mary Yes.
玛丽 是的。
After the fact, after the night at his office down there at Microsoft, I noticed, boy, he really was feeding me some lines there.
事后，在他在微软的办公室度过一晚之后，我注意到，天哪，他真的在那里给我灌输了一些台词。
Like what else?
还有什么？
Mary He actually was going to set me up with a copy of Office 97.
Mary He 实际上打算给我提供一份 Office 97。
He never did.
他从来没有这样做过。
The cad!
恶棍！
At what point in the whole interaction did he promise you the Office 97, the free software?
在整个互动过程中，他在什么时候向您承诺免费软件 Office 97？
Did you just think, he's feeding me a lot of soup?
你有没有想过，他给我喝了很多汤？
No. I thought it was cool, because I had heard some things about Office 97.
不。我觉得这很酷，因为我听说过一些有关 Office 97 的事情。
Wow, I'd like to have that.
哇，我想要那个。
Now I'm sure you can only look back on the incredible naivety.
现在我确信你只能回顾那令人难以置信的天真。
Some young man is prowling the streets of Seattle, walking through the U District, telling women--
一些年轻人在西雅图的街道上徘徊，穿过U区，告诉女人们——
Got your free software.
得到了你的免费软件。
Ira Glass People came to the Museum of Contemporary Art with their own stories about the internet.
Ira Glass 人们带着自己关于互联网的故事来到当代艺术博物馆。
My co-host is David Hauptschein.
我的搭档主持人是 David Hauptschein。
We're going to begin with Joe Fosco.
我们将从乔·福斯科开始。
In preparation for this show, we spent many hours surfing the net together and finding files that we thought were interesting.
为了准备这个节目，我们花了很多时间一起上网并寻找我们认为有趣的文件。
And Joe's going to come up and read some.
乔会过来读一些。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
Wait a minute, Joe.
等一下，乔。
Let me get this timer going here.
让我把计时器调到这里。
I've got to put these other ones in different places.
我必须把其他的放在不同的地方。
This one I'm going to read now is a website of this guy who's building an aluminum ball, a ball of aluminum foil.
我现在要读的这个是这个人的网站，他正在制作一个铝球，一个铝箔球。
And he went into quite a bit of detail about this ball.
他详细介绍了这个球。
He says, "I don't remember exactly how the ball began, but it is a sphere, composed entirely of aluminum foil of various varieties.
他说：“我不记得球是如何开始的，但它是一个球体，完全由各种铝箔组成。
It is mostly candy wrappers with a few bits of foil and other food items mixed in.
它主要是糖果包装纸，混有一些箔纸和其他食品。
So far the best finish coat is York Peppermint Patty wrappers.
到目前为止，最好的面漆是约克薄荷馅饼包装纸。
Other foil is fine, but a coat of Peppermint Patty wrappers is necessary to keep it on.
其他箔纸也可以，但需要一层薄荷肉饼包装纸来保持它。
Gum wrappers also tend to have that quality, but they are far too difficult to peel, considering the minimal bulk they have.
口香糖包装纸也往往具有这种品质，但考虑到它们的体积最小，它们很难剥离。
Gum wrappers do make a good finish coat on top of Peppermint Patty wrappers for show.
口香糖包装纸确实可以在薄荷肉饼包装纸上形成一层很好的饰面层，以供展示。
Some items, such as Hershey's Miniatures, which look like they might be good candidates for foil, aren't.
有些物品，例如好时迷你模型，看起来可能是箔纸的良好候选者，但事实并非如此。
The ball is more impressive in person than this page can hope to depict."
这个球比本页所希望描述的更令人印象深刻。”
Oh, there is.
哦，有。
I don't know if you can see it.
不知道你能不能看到。
[LAUGHTER] And then he has this diary of its growth.
[笑声] 然后他写了一本关于它的成长的日记。
And it starts back in January.
事情要从一月份开始。
And he says, "we've gotten an electric postage scale in the office.
他说：“我们办公室里有一个电子邮资秤。
It reads one more digit of precision, so we now have a weight of 3.9 ounces.
它读取的精度多了一位，因此我们现在的重量为 3.9 盎司。
I have done the math to compute the density of the ball.
我已经完成了数学计算来计算球的密度。
Curiously, it is much lower than that of solid aluminum.
奇怪的是，它比实心铝低得多。
I have a hard time believing that the ball is less than half aluminum by mass, so I invite you to let me know if there are any errors in my computations.
我很难相信这个球的质量还不到铝的一半，所以我邀请您告诉我我的计算是否有任何错误。
I expected that the density would be less than that of solid aluminum because of a small amount of air between layers of the foil, the adhesive coatings, inks, and small quantities of chocolate grease and other leftovers from the food items that the wrappers were originally used to package.
我预计铝箔的密度会低于实心铝的密度，因为铝箔层之间存在少量空气、粘合剂涂层、油墨以及少量的巧克力油脂和包装纸最初用来包装食品的其他残留物。
I wouldn't have been too surprised by a 5% or even 10% difference, but I find the actual results obtained a little difficult to believe."
对于 5% 甚至 10% 的差异，我不会感到太惊讶，但我发现获得的实际结果有点难以置信。”
The other interesting thing is that on this, he has links to other sites that are making aluminum foil balls.
另一件有趣的事情是，在这上面，他有其他制作铝箔球的网站的链接。
[LAUGHTER] And someone else who is making a rubber band ball.
[笑声]还有其他人正在制作橡皮筋球。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
Our next presenter, our next reader, Noel.
我们的下一位演讲者，我们的下一位读者，诺埃尔。
My name is Noel, and I'm diastematic.
我叫诺埃尔，我是个口裂者。
Anybody here know what that means?
这里有人知道这意味着什么吗？
It means that I have a gap between my front two teeth.
这意味着我的两颗门牙之间有一个间隙。
For those of you unfamiliar with this whole website gap-tooth thing, I built a website for gap-tooth people.
对于那些不熟悉整个网站间隙牙齿事物的人，我为间隙牙齿人建立了一个网站。
So yeah, idiotic.
所以是的，白痴。
You want it?
你想要吗？
You've got it.
你已经明白了。
But I'm in good company.
但我的同伴很好。
10% of America, including David Letterman, Lauren Hutton, Noam Chomsky, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, Itzhak Perlman, Chaucer's Wife of Bath, Vince Lombardi, blah, blah, blah, all with the tooth cleavage.
美国10%的人，包括大卫·莱特曼、劳伦·赫顿、诺姆·乔姆斯基、最高法院法官桑德拉·戴·奥康纳、伊扎克·帕尔曼、乔叟的巴斯之妻、文斯·隆巴迪，等等，等等，都是乳沟。
I must admit, for better or for worse, yes, I'm the one who built this website.
我必须承认，无论好坏，是的，我是建立这个网站的人。
But the emphasis is humor.
但重点是幽默。
In early November last year--
去年11月初——
Wait, humor versus what?
等等，幽默与什么？
Like, attacks at people without gaps in their teeth?
比如，攻击牙齿没有缝隙的人？
What would be the other thing that you would do?
你会做的另一件事是什么？
You would proselytize on behalf-- try to bring people over, encourage people to create gaps in their teeth?
你会代表人们传教——试图把人们带过来，鼓励人们在牙齿上制造缝隙？
Absolutely.
绝对地。
This is very, this will hit on a lot of those themes.
这非常，这将触及很多这样的主题。
In early November last year, I was watching a Bears-Packers game.
去年11月初，我观看了熊队与包装工队的比赛。
And during the pregame ceremonies, the USPS, the post office, unveiled art for a new stamp, due this summer, featuring the late, great Vince Lombardi, who was one of the greatest gappers ever to live.
在赛前仪式上，美国邮政总局（邮局）揭开了今年夏天发行的新邮票的艺术图，其中包括已故伟大的文斯·隆巴迪（Vince Lombardi），他是有史以来最伟大的间隙者之一。
He was on a stamp, riding high atop the team in the throes of victory, smiling huge.
他就像一枚邮票，在胜利的阵痛中高高在上，笑容灿烂。
But something was missing, Coach Lombardi's trademark gap-toothed grin.
但缺少了一些东西，那就是隆巴迪教练标志性的露牙笑容。
He had near-perfect pearly whites and the gap was gone.
他拥有近乎完美的珍珠白，差距也消失了。
The next day, as a joke, I added a page to the gap-tooth website, protesting the post office's depiction of Lombardi as a cosmetically-altered hero.
第二天，我开玩笑地在间隙牙齿网站上添加了一个页面，抗议邮局将隆巴尔迪描绘成一个经过整容的英雄。
Who would Don King be if he were bald?
如果唐·金是秃头的话他会是谁？
Or Gorbachev without the Kool-Aid stain?
或者没有酷爱饮料污点的戈尔巴乔夫？
Or Jimmy Durante without that nose?
或者没有那个鼻子的吉米·杜兰特？
So knowing that this was the web, the oddball media that gets no real merit for its content, I expected little to no attention.
因此，我知道这是网络，是一种奇怪的媒体，其内容没有真正的价值，所以我预计几乎不会受到关注。
But then came Yahoo, which featured it as a weekly pick.
但后来雅虎来了，它把它列为每周精选。
The Washington Post had me on the phone and ran a half-page story with my before and after pics.
《华盛顿邮报》给我打电话，用我之前和之后的照片刊登了一篇半页的故事。
Chicago's Channel 7 came to my apartment and ran a story on its 6:00 News, just before the Super Bowl.
就在超级碗比赛之前，芝加哥第七频道来到我的公寓并在其 6:00 新闻节目中报道了一个故事。
Getting out of hand?
失控？
Yeah, timeout!
对啊，超时了！
If you're thinking this pathetic web-based protest should never have received any attention, I'm in agreement with you.
如果您认为这种可悲的网络抗议不应该受到任何关注，我同意您的观点。
What was ironic about this story is that they painted me as a freak-- imagine that-- a super fan ready to strap myself with bombs and blow up my teeth and Washington, DC if they didn't change the art.
这个故事的讽刺之处在于，他们把我描绘成一个怪胎——想象一下——一个超级粉丝，如果他们不改变艺术，就准备用炸弹绑住自己，炸毁我的牙齿和华盛顿特区。
And I thought, I'm just running a website for gap-toothed people.
我想，我只是在为牙齿不齐的人运营一个网站。
You can't take me that seriously.
你不能这么认真地对待我。
So I called up Bob, the artist of the postage stamp, and we talked about the stamp.
所以我打电话给邮票艺术家鲍勃，我们讨论了邮票的问题。
We discussed angles and art representation.
我们讨论了角度和艺术表现。
He was a really nice guy.
他是一个非常好的人。
I was thinking about dropping the protest already when he told me his three-year-old daughter was gap-toothed.
当他告诉我他三岁的女儿牙齿有缝隙时，我已经在考虑放弃抗议了。
And that was it.
就是这样。
Protest over.
抗议结束。
But what still gets me today is that the web has the power to make insignificant things seem real, that email can really serve as a powerful form of protest, which it did in this case, and that people, including myself, really do have too much time on their hands.
但今天仍然让我印象深刻的是，网络有能力让无关紧要的事情变得真实，电子邮件确实可以作为一种强有力的抗议形式，在这种情况下确实如此，而且人们，包括我自己，确实有太多的空闲时间。
[LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE]
[笑声] [掌声]
Well, for our next one, I thought we'd do one that people contacted us when we advertised around the country for things going on on the net.
好吧，对于我们的下一个项目，我想我们应该做一个当我们在全国范围内为网络上发生的事情做广告时人们联系我们的项目。
And somebody notified us about this one web page.
有人通知我们有关这一网页的信息。
We were searching for people who were having experiences on the net that they would never have otherwise.
我们正在寻找那些在网络上拥有他们永远不会有的经历的人。
And this particular page was made by a woman named Jenni Ringley, a senior at Dickinson College in Pennsylvania.
这个特殊的页面是由一位名叫珍妮·林利 (Jenni Ringley) 的女士制作的，她是宾夕法尼亚州迪金森学院的大四学生。
And like a lot of people, she created her own little home page on the world wide web.
和很多人一样，她在万维网上创建了自己的小主页。
There's the regular part of my page, I guess you would say, with information about me, the music I like, things like that, like everybody has on their page.
我想你会说，这是我页面的常规部分，包含有关我的信息，我喜欢的音乐，诸如此类的信息，就像每个人的页面上都有的一样。
The one item that has become extremely popular, though, is the JenniCam.
不过，JenniCam 是一款非常受欢迎的产品。
And it's just a camera that sits in my room and takes a picture every three minutes and uploads it.
它只是我房间里的一个相机，每三分钟拍一张照片并上传。
So every three minutes, you can find out what fascinating thing I'm doing in my room.
因此，每隔三分钟，您就可以了解我在房间里所做的有趣的事情。
The JenniCam is on seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and the number of people who want to see what fascinating thing is going on in a college girl's dorm room each day?
JenniCam每周7天、每天24小时不间断，每天有多少人想看看女大学生宿舍里发生了什么迷人的事情？
People, I'm not sure.
人们，我不确定。
But as far as number of hits go, we get over 500,000 hits a day.
但就点击量而言，我们每天的点击量超过 500,000 次。
OK, I'm just going to stop the recording right there.
好的，我要停止录音了。
This is Ira.
这是艾拉。
This is me in the present.
这就是现在的我。
This number right here, this number, a half million hits, we had no way to confirm that at the time.
这里这个数字，这个数字，五十万的点击量，我们当时没有办法确认。
And not only that, we had no idea how to interpret that number.
不仅如此，我们不知道如何解释这个数字。
Like, it just seemed absurdly high, the idea that each page hit didn't necessarily represent a distinct person, that thought had not totally penetrated the culture.
就像，它看起来高得荒谬，每个页面点击并不一定代表一个不同的人，这种想法还没有完全渗透到文化中。
And if you think about a photo every three minutes on this website, somebody staying on that site an hour might be counted as 20 separate hits.
如果您考虑一下此网站上每三分钟一张照片，那么某人在该网站上停留一小时可能会被算作 20 次单独的点击。
You'd only need 25,000 people to get to a half million.
只需 25,000 人即可达到 50 万人。
OK, anyway, let's get back.
好吧，不管怎样，我们回去吧。
A half million hits every single day.
每天有五十万次点击。
And what do people see?
人们看到了什么？
Nothing, really.
没什么，真的。
I write email.
我写电子邮件。
I sleep.
我睡觉了。
I have friends over.
我有朋友过来。
You can watch my hedgehog when I'm not in the room.
当我不在房间时你可以看我的刺猬。
Things like that.
诸如此类的事情。
Pretty much, just regular college life as far as I know.
据我所知，差不多就是正常的大学生活。
Our associate producer tuned in to your page just to see what was going on.
我们的副制片人调到您的页面只是为了看看发生了什么。
And for about a half an hour, she witnessed you on the phone.
在大约半个小时的时间里，她在电话里目睹了你。
Every three minutes, there'd be another picture of you in a different position on the telephone.
每隔三分钟，电话里就会出现另一张你处于不同位置的照片。
I talk on the phone a lot.
我在电话里聊了很多。
Ira Glass In a way, it's hard to think of anything more banal than seeing a college student's dorm room.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 在某种程度上，很难想象还有什么比看到大学生宿舍更平庸的事情了。
I would have to agree.
我不得不同意。
I would absolutely agree.
我绝对同意。
I don't do anything that's that interesting.
我不做任何那么有趣的事情。
I don't have company very often.
我很少有人陪伴。
I don't do anything more interesting really than talk on the phone, watch TV, and sleep.
我没有做任何比打电话、看电视和睡觉更有趣的事情。
Let me ask you to talk about the nudity.
让我请你谈谈裸体。
Well, whenever I'm nude in my room, I'm nude on the JenniCam.
好吧，每当我在房间里裸体时，我在 JenniCam 上也是裸体的。
But when I think about how often somebody is nude in the course of a day, it's really not very long.
但当我想到有人在一天中裸体的频率时，我发现这真的不是很长。
Well, maybe I'm not an average person.
嗯，也许我不是一个普通人。
But I figure when I'm alone, who really cares?
但我想，当我独自一人时，谁真正在乎呢？
I sleep naked, and I get changed.
我裸睡，然后换衣服。
And when I get out of the shower, I'm all wet.
当我洗完澡出来时，我浑身湿透了。
There's no hurry to put on clothes.
还不急着穿衣服。
Explain what the thrill is about being naked in front of a computer camera.
解释一下在电脑摄像头前赤身裸体是多么令人兴奋。
Actually, with the camera there, I don't think about it much.
事实上，有了相机，我并没有想太多。
So whenever I'm normally naked in my room, that's when I would be on the camera.
因此，每当我通常在房间里赤身裸体时，我就会出现在镜头前。
It really doesn't affect me in much of a big way, I would say.
我想说，这确实不会对我产生太大影响。
But wait, you're saying it means nothing to you?
但是等等，你是说这对你来说毫无意义？
I think the camera would be a lot less interesting if I paid that much attention to it.
我认为如果我对相机投入那么多的注意力，它就会变得不那么有趣了。
It would be more of a staged show, and you can go see a staged show anywhere.
这更像是一场舞台表演，你可以去任何地方观看舞台表演。
I think the whole appeal of the camera is that it is whatever is normally going on in my room.
我认为相机的全部吸引力在于它是我房间里通常发生的一切。
And with it having been up for a year and a half now, I'm pretty accustomed to it being there.
现在它已经存在一年半了，我已经习惯了它的存在。
It really doesn't affect me much, I would say.
我想说，这确实对我影响不大。
Have there been any moments over the last two years where you were sort of sorry that the camera was in the dorm room?
在过去的两年里，有没有什么时刻让你对相机放在宿舍里感到有点遗憾？
Actually, it goes sort of the opposite way.
事实上，情况恰恰相反。
Whenever I go home for breaks, for spring break or something like that, I'm always sad to be away from the camera.
每当我回家休息、春假或类似的事情时，我总是很难过远离镜头。
It's really a different feeling, whenever I'm in the room and the camera is broken, or for some reason, my room feels totally different.
这确实是一种不同的感觉，每当我在房间里相机坏了，或者由于某种原因，我的房间感觉完全不同。
It's like I'm completely alone.
就好像我完全孤独了。
So I usually prefer the camera be there, and I'm sad when it's off as opposed to wishing it weren't there.
所以我通常更喜欢相机在那里，当它关闭时我会感到难过，而不是希望它不在那里。
Because you don't feel alone when it's on.
因为当它开启时，你不会感到孤独。
Right.
正确的。
Even though there's nobody actually there with me, even though I'm still alone, even if there's nobody watching the camera from the other end, it's just comforting to know that there is somebody metaphorically out there.
尽管实际上没有人在我身边，尽管我仍然孤身一人，即使没有人从另一端看着摄像机，但知道有人隐喻地在那里，这还是令人感到安慰。
In your view, why are so many people checking out the site each day?
在您看来，为什么每天有这么多人查看该网站？
A lot of the people, it's totally hoping to find me getting out of the shower, getting dressed for bed, things like that.
很多人完全希望看到我洗完澡，穿好衣服上床睡觉，诸如此类的事情。
It's hoping to find the nudity.
它希望找到裸体。
But I get lots of email from people who say that it's just nice when they're alone in their office to know that there's somebody else out there, somebody else that is doing nothing more interesting than what they're doing at the same time.
但我收到很多电子邮件，他们说，当他们独自一人在办公室时，知道还有其他人在那里，其他人没有做比他们同时做的事情更有趣的事情，这真是太好了。
It's like having a little virtual friend.
就像有一个虚拟小朋友一样。
Now, at some point in the two years, you've probably had somebody over in the dorm room to mess around.
现在，在这两年的某个时刻，你可能有人在宿舍里闲逛。
At that point, it goes on the other person's comfortability.
到那时，就取决于对方的舒适度了。
I have no problem doing that.
我这样做没有问题。
And that's the whole point of the camera is that it's whatever I'm doing.
这就是相机的全部意义所在，它就是我所做的一切。
When I went into this, I understood that, in order to make it really work, it would have to be no matter what I was doing.
当我进入这个领域时，我明白，为了让它真正发挥作用，无论我在做什么，都必须是这样。
But I can't really enforce that on people who are visiting me.
但我无法真正对来拜访我的人强制执行这一点。
So if the other person is uncomfortable, then the camera is turned off, or it points to a different part of the room.
因此，如果对方感到不舒服，那么摄像机就会关闭，或者指向房间的不同部分。
And generally, has the other person been uncomfortable?
一般来说，对方是否感到不舒服？
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass Was there ever a time that you actually had somebody over where you actually kept the camera on the two of you?
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 是否曾经有人在你身边，让相机一直对着你们两个？
Yes, in fact.
是的，事实上。
And the funny thing is that it never actually was broadcast because the number of people suddenly reloading on the server ended up crashing the computer that posted the JenniCam at the time.
有趣的是，它实际上从未被播出，因为服务器上突然重新加载的人数最终导致当时发布 JenniCam 的计算机崩溃。
Wow.
哇。
Jenni Ringley So even though we were there and the camera was on, the server was crashed by the number of people wanting to see.
Jenni Ringley 因此，即使我们在那里并且摄像头已打开，服务器也会因为想要观看的人数而崩溃。
What's your impression of who these people are?
您对这些人的印象如何？
Oh, I don't know.
哦，我不知道。
Mostly men, it's almost exclusively men.
大部分是男性，几乎全是男性。
I get about 700 emails a day.
我每天收到大约 700 封电子邮件。
And of that number, maybe 10 are from women.
在这个数字中，大约有 10 个来自女性。
You get 700 emails a day?
您每天收到 700 封电子邮件？
Jenni Ringley Right.
珍妮·林利 对。
Well, a lot of those are entries to a contest on my web page called "Name that Curve" where once a week I put up a new picture of some close-up shot of a part of my body and people guess what it is.
好吧，其中很多都是我网页上名为“命名曲线”的竞赛的参赛作品，每周我都会发布一张我身体某个部位的特写镜头的新照片，人们猜猜它是什么。
So I would say 300 or so of that number are "Name that Curve" entries.
所以我想说这个数字中有大约 300 个是“命名该曲线”条目。
The rest of them are people saying either I saw your web page, I like your page, or can I call you, or can you send me private, special pictures?
其余的人说我看到了你的网页，我喜欢你的页面，或者我可以给你打电话，或者你可以给我发送私人的、特殊的图片吗？
It really, really, ranges.
它真的，真的，范围。
Jenny says she spends five to six hours a day answering email.
珍妮说她每天花五到六个小时回复电子邮件。
And when I talked to her, on the one hand, there seemed to be something completely innocent in what she was doing, putting herself out there and not really caring who sees.
一方面，当我和她交谈时，她所做的事情似乎完全是无辜的，把自己摆在那里，并不真正关心谁会看到。
And if you press her about her on exhibitionism, she'll tell you over and over, oh, no, no, it's not about exhibitionism.
如果你追问她关于暴露癖的问题，她会一遍又一遍地告诉你，哦，不，不，这与暴露癖无关。
It's an experiment at letting people view a person's entire life without editing.
这是一个让人们在不经过编辑的情况下查看一个人的整个生活的实验。
Though, one thing that she's gotten on the internet that she could never have gotten so easily any other way is she's famous within a small circle.
不过，她在互联网上得到的一件事是她在一个小圈子里出名，这是她用其他任何方式都无法轻易得到的。
It's a small, particular kind of thing.
这是一件小而特殊的事情。
I do get a fair number, at this point, of requests for autographed pictures and people wanting to buy my hair and my clothing, things like that.
目前，我确实收到了相当多的索要签名照片的请求，还有人想购买我的头发和衣服之类的东西。
What?
什么？
Jenni Ringley It's pretty scary.
珍妮·林利（Jenni Ringley） 这太可怕了。
Well, one time, I was caught on camera actually trimming my bangs, because if you only have to do that, it's cheaper.
嗯，有一次，我被摄像机拍到正在修剪刘海，因为如果你只需要这样做，那就更便宜了。
And all of a sudden, I got 40 emails from people saying, are you going to do anything with that hair?
突然间，我收到了 40 封电子邮件，人们说，你打算用那头发做点什么吗？
Can I buy it from you?
我可以向你购买吗？
Well, it's kind of scary.
嗯，有点吓人。
I mean, I do meet people from time to time.
我的意思是，我确实时不时会遇到一些人。
Somebody will say, I'm passing through the area, do you think I could meet you?
有人会说，我路过那一带，你觉得我能遇见你吗？
And you say?
你说呢？
Jenni Ringley I actually have a pretty good knack for getting a good feeling about people right off the bat.
Jenni Ringley 事实上，我有一个很好的本领，可以立即对别人产生好感。
So sometimes I say no, sometimes I say yes.
所以有时我说不，有时我说是。
I've had dinner with probably a dozen people from the JenniCam.
我和 JenniCam 的大概十几个人共进晚餐。
And has that been nice?
这样好吗？
Jenni Ringley I had one person who had a hard time taking no for an answer, even after I made it abundantly clear I wasn't interested.
Jenni Ringley 我遇到过一个人，即使在我明确表示我不感兴趣之后，也很难接受“不”的回答。
It is, kind of.
确实是这样。
I've had a fair number of improper passes at the end of the evening.
晚上结束时，我有过很多次不当的传球。
But it stays at a pass.
但它仍然停留在通过状态。
If there were a cable channel that would just have a camera on in your room, with no sound, 24 hours a day, do you think you'd get a half million viewers?
如果有一个有线电视频道，每天 24 小时在你的房间里开着一个摄像头，没有声音，你认为你会有 50 万观众吗？
I don't think so.
我不这么认为。
I don't think I would, because if you have the TV, you have other things you can watch.
我想我不会，因为如果你有电视，你就可以看其他东西。
I think it would still be popular, but I think at that point, it would be a lot less interesting.
我认为它仍然会很受欢迎，但我认为到那时，它就会变得不那么有趣了。
Because people can do this from their offices, at work, if they have internet usage that's not monitored.
因为人们可以在办公室、工作中执行此操作，只要他们的互联网使用情况不受监控。
From work, you can just put it on and leave it on in the background while you're doing whatever else on your computer.
工作时，您只需将其打开，然后在计算机上执行其他操作时将其保留在后台即可。
Jenni Ringley has just graduated from college.
珍妮·林利 (Jenni Ringley) 刚刚大学毕业。
She's moved to another city, where she has gotten a job designing web pages for a big national magazine.
她搬到了另一个城市，在那里她找到了一份为一家全国性大型杂志设计网页的工作。
[APPLAUSE]
[掌声]
OK.
好的。
It's me again in the present.
又是现在的我。
Jenni Ringley and the JenniCam were internet celebrities for seven years, written about all the time.
Jenni Ringley 和 JenniCam 成为网络名人已有七年，一直被人们所谈论。
There were parody websites, JenniCam-ing people's pets and stuff like that.
有模仿网站、JenniCam-ing 人们的宠物之类的。
She was invited on the Letterman show.
她被邀请参加莱特曼秀。
She was included in a 2001 exhibit done by the Museum of Modern Art.
她参加了现代艺术博物馆 2001 年举办的展览。
The word JenniCam was reportedly, for a while, one of the most popular search terms on Slashdot.
据报道，JenniCam 这个词一度是 Slashdot 上最流行的搜索词之一。
Until finally, at the end of 2003, Jenni Ringley shut down the site.
直到 2003 年底，Jenni Ringley 最终关闭了该网站。
According to Wikipedia, fans started to turn on her in part because they were annoyed that she just would loaf around the apartment.
根据维基百科，粉丝们开始攻击她，部分原因是他们对她在公寓里闲逛感到恼火。
There was a feeling of, like, get a job.
有一种感觉，就像找到一份工作一样。
By the end, people had to pay to log on to the site, and she actually was making decent money from it, or seemed to.
到最后，人们必须付费才能登录该网站，而她实际上从中赚了可观的钱，或者看起来如此。
And this annoyed fans as well.
这也惹恼了粉丝。
To the very end, she continued to describe the site as a kind of art project.
直到最后，她仍然将这个网站描述为一种艺术项目。
"I keep JenniCam alive not because I want or need to be watched, but because I simply don't mind being watched," she wrote.
“我让 JenniCam 存活下来不是因为我想要或需要被监视，而是因为我根本不介意被监视，”她写道。
"What you see is my life, exactly as it would be, whether or not there were cameras watching, as a chronicle, a long-term experiment."
“你看到的是我的生活，无论是否有摄像机在观看，就像一部编年史，一场长期的实验。”
Well, now, this example of people's lives changed by the internet, Eileen and Fred Kiefer live outside Columbus, Ohio.
好吧，现在，艾琳·基弗和弗雷德·基弗住在俄亥俄州哥伦布市郊外，这是互联网改变人们生活的例子。
They are septuagenarians with seven kids and 13 grandkids.
他们都是七十多岁的老人，有 7 个孩子和 13 个孙子。
OK, well, when we first got our email going on our computer, I sent a message to our son in Milwaukee whose address was K-I-E-F-F.
好吧，当我们第一次在计算机上收到电子邮件时，我向密尔沃基的儿子发送了一条消息，他的地址是 K-I-E-F-F。
K-I-E-F-F?
K-I-E-F-F？
Eileen Kiefer Yeah.
艾琳·基弗 是的。
It was my first time to use it, and I left one of the F's off.
这是我第一次使用它，我把其中一个 F 关闭了。
Her email was a chatty email about everything going on in the family, signed "love, Mom."
她的电子邮件是一封闲聊的电子邮件，讲述了家里发生的一切，署名是“爱，妈妈”。
So I got back a letter from someone whose address was K-I-E-F.
于是我收到了一封来自地址为 K-I-E-F 的人的来信。
And he said, I enjoyed this letter, but I don't think you meant it for me.
他说，我很喜欢这封信，但我不认为你是为了我而写的。
And so then I wrote back and said, thanks and explained how I'd made the mistake.
然后我回信说，谢谢，并解释了我是如何犯这个错误的。
And he wrote back.
他回信说。
And we've been writing now for, it'll be two years this month.
我们现在一直在写，这个月就满两年了。
The man, the couple actually, who got her email were Kiefer and Galen Mitchell in Portland, Oregon.
收到她电子邮件的男人，实际上是这对夫妇，是俄勒冈州波特兰市的基弗·米切尔和盖伦·米切尔。
He works at Tandy and does a radio show out there.
他在 Tandy 工作并在那里做广播节目。
And when he got Mrs. Kiefer's email in his account, the thing that actually got to him was that she signed it "love, Mom." His own mother had just died two months before.
当他在自己的帐户中收到基弗夫人的电子邮件时，真正让他感动的是她在邮件上署名“爱，妈妈”。他自己的母亲两个月前刚刚去世。
His father had been dead for years.
他的父亲已经去世多年了。
Mrs. Kiefer said she never intended or wanted to have a long-term email friendship.
基弗夫人说，她从来没有打算或不想建立长期的电子邮件友谊。
It seems like we had nothing in common going in.
看来我们没有什么共同点。
The age difference, and they had no children, and they're Mormons and we're Catholics.
年龄差异，他们没有孩子，他们是摩门教徒，我们是天主教徒。
So it seemed like there wasn't a whole lot that we had to talk about.
所以看起来我们没有太多要谈的。
But we never have any trouble.
但我们从来没有遇到任何麻烦。
At first, we were writing every day.
起初，我们每天都在写作。
We were both so excited about this.
我们都对此感到非常兴奋。
And now, we're usually in touch at least once a week.
现在，我们通常每周至少联系一次。
And we've visited, and he's in Oregon.
我们拜访过他，他在俄勒冈州。
We're in Ohio.
我们在俄亥俄州。
We visited in Portland last year and spent a couple days with him and had a wonderful time.
去年我们访问了波特兰，和他一起度过了几天，度过了一段美好的时光。
And they're like 30 years younger than we are.
而且他们比我们年轻30岁左右。
So we've become mom and dad, and we've adopted them.
所以我们成为了爸爸妈妈，并且收养了他们。
We call them our legally adopted children.
我们称他们为我们合法收养的孩子。
And in December, when I had a serious operation, he was on the phone every night, just like the rest of our kids.
十二月，当我做了一次严重的手术时，他每天晚上都打电话，就像我们其他的孩子一样。
So he's really become one of our kids.
所以他真的成为了我们的孩子之一。
So what in the world was it in those first emails they sent two years ago?
那么他们两年前发送的第一封电子邮件到底写了什么？
What could people possibly say to create a bond like that?
人们可能会说什么来建立这样的联系？
Oh, I don't remember.
哦，我不记得了。
I just remember indicating that I was 70.
我只记得说我70岁了。
So there was-- I didn't want anybody to think that we were going to have this big romance or anything.
所以——我不想让任何人认为我们将会有这么大的浪漫或其他什么。
And then-- Eileen Kiefer Because you read these stories about people doing weird things with people on the internet.
然后——艾琳·基弗 因为你读过这些关于人们在互联网上与人做奇怪事情的故事。
We never had that problem.
我们从来没有遇到过这个问题。
We have seven children.
我们有七个孩子。
And all of them have email except one.
除了一封之外，他们所有人都有电子邮件。
And the ones out of town, we hear from a couple times a week.
对于那些外地的人，我们每周都会收到几次消息。
One of our daughters, we hear from almost daily.
我们几乎每天都会收到我们其中一位女儿的来信。
Now, did you have as much contact with them before email?
现在，在发送电子邮件之前，您与他们有过同样多的联系吗？
Oh, no. No. We would talk on the phone maybe once a month.
哦，不。不会。我们可能每月通一次电话。
And it was always, how are you?
总是这样，你好吗？
And you never really were part of their lives that way.
而你从来没有真正成为他们生活的一部分。
And two of our children live in Boston.
我们的两个孩子住在波士顿。
And we just weren't-- well, we were always close.
我们只是不——好吧，我们总是很亲密。
We weren't communicating very often.
我们并不经常交流。
So email has really brought you all closer together.
所以电子邮件确实拉近了你们之间的距离。
Oh, it's wonderful.
哦，太棒了。
I keep trying to talk everybody I know into it, if their children have access to a computer.
我一直试图说服我认识的每个人都同意他们的孩子是否可以使用计算机。
It's changed our life a lot.
它改变了我们的生活很多。
It's just changed our lives.
它只是改变了我们的生活。
I wouldn't think of not checking the computer first thing in the morning to see who's writing.
我不会想到早上第一件事不检查电脑看看谁在写。
[APPLAUSE] Well, as we looked for stories from the net for this show, especially stories of things happened on the net that might not happen anywhere else, we found Earl Jackson.
[掌声] 嗯，当我们为这个节目寻找网络故事时，特别是那些发生在网络上而在其他地方可能不会发生的事情的故事，我们找到了厄尔·杰克逊。
He's an Associate Professor of Comparative Literature at the University of California at Santa Cruz, and he spends a lot of time on the net.
他是加州大学圣克鲁斯分校的比较文学副教授，他花了很多时间上网。
He writes about the net, has seven websites himself.
他撰写有关网络的文章，自己拥有七个网站。
And he tells this story, which begins on America Online.
他讲述了这个故事，故事始于美国在线。
I was on AOL and other services in San Francisco a lot.
我经常使用 AOL 和旧金山的其他服务。
And there are these chat rooms where gay men can meet and talk.
还有一些聊天室，男同性恋者可以在那里见面和交谈。
And in San Francisco, it's fairly wild.
在旧金山，情况相当疯狂。
There's a 24-hour bulletin board that I was observing for this study I was doing, where you could almost be guaranteed that if you lived in San Francisco and you had a modem, you could have sex any time of the day or night.
我在做这项研究时观察了一个 24 小时的公告牌，在那里你几乎可以保证，如果你住在旧金山并且有调制解调器，你可以在白天或晚上的任何时间发生性行为。
This was a very goal-directed bulletin board.
这是一个目标明确的公告板。
Right.
正确的。
And you would know exactly what they wanted to do, and you would probably have nude pictures of them before that.
你会确切地知道他们想做什么，而且在那之前你可能会有他们的裸照。
What I also thought was really interesting-- and this was more true of AOL-- that there was a new metaphysics of sexuality.
我还认为非常有趣的是——对于美国在线来说更是如此——存在一种关于性的新形而上学。
Because people would talk about, cyber-sex or real sex?
因为人们会谈论网络性爱还是真实性爱？
And it occurred to me after I listened to enough, by real sex they meant phone sex.
当我听得足够多之后，我突然想到，真正的性爱是指电话性爱。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
Earl Jackson Yeah, so it became, instead of a two-tier system, it's a three-tier system.
Earl Jackson 是的，所以它不再是两层系统，而是三层系统。
And you have real sex, ultra-real sex, and cyber-sex.
你有真实的性爱、超真实的性爱和网络性爱。
That would mean what I call a slow-time interface, which means actual physical contact.
这意味着我所说的慢速界面，即实际的物理接触。
God, do people still do that?
天哪，现在还有人这样做吗？
Earl Jackson Um, yes.
厄尔·杰克逊 嗯，是的。
Earl Jackson says that he meets more and more people who have hooked up what amounts to video cameras on their computers with a technology called CU-SeeMe, they can look at the person they're interacting with over the net.
Earl Jackson 说，他遇到越来越多的人在他们的计算机上连接了一种名为 CU-SeeMe 的技术，相当于摄像机，他们可以看到通过网络与之互动的人。
I know people that actually leave physical dates to go home and have sex over the net with the quick cam.
我知道有些人实际上会离开约会回家并通过快速摄像头在网上发生性行为。
Come Earl Jackson It's true.
厄尔·杰克逊来吧 这是真的。
There's an entire culture that's entirely video transmission sexuality now.
现在有一种完全是视频传输性的文化。
Talk a little more about that.
多谈谈这一点。
You actually know somebody who actually left an actual date--
你实际上认识一个真正留下过约会对象的人——
Yeah, me, in fact.
是的，事实上是我。
Ira Glass Oh, they left you?
艾拉·格拉斯 哦，他们离开了你？
Yeah, they left me.
是的，他们离开了我。
But he said that that is what he does lately.
但他说这就是他最近所做的。
And I understood that, because a lot of men are afraid of sexual contact because of AIDS.
我理解这一点，因为很多男人因为艾滋病而害怕性接触。
So the perfect thing to eroticize is distance.
所以，最适合色情的东西就是距离。
And so he says to you-- at what point in the evening did he say, I'm going to go home now?
所以他对你说——晚上什么时候他说，我现在要回家了？
Pretty soon.
很快。
He said that he really needed to do the CU-SeeMe stuff.
他说他确实需要做 CU-SeeMe 的事情。
Back in December of 1993, Earl Jackson met a guy over the net in one of these gay chat rooms.
早在 1993 年 12 月，厄尔·杰克逊 (Earl Jackson) 在其中一个同性恋聊天室中通过网络认识了一个人。
The guy's name was Ken, who lived nearby, but he had a boyfriend so the two never met in person.
这个人名叫肯，住在附近，但他有一个男朋友，所以两人从未见过面。
But almost every day for a year, they got online together and created these elaborate fantasies together online, using that kind of software where you can see what the other person types as they type it, and they can see what you type as you type it.
但一年来，他们几乎每天都在一起上网，一起在网上创造出这些精心设计的幻想，使用那种软件，你可以在别人打字时看到他们打字的内容，他们也可以在你打字时看到你打字的内容。
We would have a fantasy about what if he came to my classroom and then I took him back into my office.
我们会幻想如果他来到我的教室然后我带他回到我的办公室会怎样。
But it was really sort of a game.
但这确实是一场游戏。
But these narratives became so intense that we would set times of the day, or he would just check in.
但这些叙述变得如此激烈，以至于我们会设定一天中的时间，或者他只会检查。
And he said, do you have time for a story now?
他说，你现在有时间讲故事吗？
And he would start it, and then I would continue it.
他会开始，然后我会继续。
And we have all of these stories.
我们有所有这些故事。
But as we kept doing this, then a little part of his life would come in.
但当我们继续这样做时，他生活的一小部分就会融入其中。
And then there would be a story that would take us somewhere else.
然后会有一个故事将我们带到其他地方。
And then I'd know a little bit more.
然后我就会知道更多一点。
And soon the sex part was really an excuse to tell the other stories.
很快，性爱部分就成为了讲述其他故事的借口。
And sometimes he would be telling this story about his childhood in Missouri.
有时他会讲述他在密苏里州童年的故事。
And then it would remind him of a sexual fantasy.
然后这会让他想起性幻想。
And then he'd put me in it.
然后他就把我放进去。
And you couldn't plan to do these things.
而且你不能计划做这些事情。
We became sort of like jazz pianists or something.
我们变得有点像爵士钢琴家之类的。
We'd have these riffs together.
我们会把这些连复段放在一起。
Then one day, he was asking me if I had time to talk to him.
然后有一天，他问我是否有时间和他谈谈。
And I was just leaving, but I could tell that even the way he was typing was different.
我正要离开，但我看得出来，连他打字的方式都不同了。
You could tell even the way he was typing was different?
你甚至能看出他打字的方式不同吗？
People have different habits in their speed, or the way he would respond, or if he didn't put a smiley face after a certain number of words.
人们对速度、反应方式、或者在一定数量的单词后是否放笑脸等方面都有不同的习惯。
I just knew there was something really wrong with the way he asked me if I had time.
我只知道他问我是否有时间的方式确实有问题。
And he said, bad news, son.
他说，坏消息，儿子。
And I think I knew it instantly, what that was.
我想我立刻就知道那是什么了。
He had tested positive.
他的检测呈阳性。
And he didn't know how to break it to me.
他不知道如何向我打破它。
And our messages to each other then became a lot more about that and about what happened to him as a child and other things that were fairly tragic and amazing that he was telling anybody, because he was really one of those strong, silent types.
然后我们互相传递的信息更多地是关于这个，关于他小时候发生的事情，以及他告诉任何人的其他相当悲惨和令人惊讶的事情，因为他确实是那些坚强、沉默的类型之一。
Then-- this is when I should have gotten more nervous-- he started saying that he didn't want any of his porn tapes anymore because he associated the porn with him being positive.
然后——这是我应该变得更加紧张的时候——他开始说他不再想要他的任何色情录像带，因为他将色情录像带与他的积极态度联系在一起。
So he wanted to mail them to me, and he mailed me a box of them.
所以他想邮寄给我，他给我寄了一盒。
I didn't really want them, but he wanted to do this for me.
我并不是真的想要它们，但他想为我做这件事。
So there was suddenly a box of porn tapes in my house.
于是我家里突然出现了一盒色情磁带。
And then the following week, there was one too.
接下来的一周，也出现了一个。
And then just before I got back to San Francisco, I got a message from him, hoping that I was well and hoping I got the tapes.
然后就在我回到旧金山之前，我收到了他的一条消息，希望我一切都好，并希望我能拿到录音带。
And he said that I'd get another message very soon.
他说我很快就会收到另一条消息。
Now, he was writing to me almost entirely in capital letters, which scared me.
现在，他给我写的信几乎全是大写字母，这让我感到害怕。
And I didn't know why.
我不知道为什么。
But here's the last one.
但这是最后一个。
"I have it all boxed up now.
“我现在已经把一切都装箱了。
I will give it my friend.
我会把它给我的朋友。
He will mail it for me like he did before.
他会像以前一样为我邮寄。
And it will arrive either Thursday or Friday, via two-day express.
它将通过两天快递在周四或周五送达。
I have a letter coming to you to help explain a few things.
我有一封信要写给您，请您解释一些事情。
Thank you for being a friend when I really needed it.
谢谢你在我真正需要的时候成为我的朋友。
Kenneth."
肯尼思。”
And then three days, nothing.
然后三天了，什么也没有。
And then there's just one line.
然后就只有一行了。
"A package should arrive today.
“包裹今天应该会到达。
1/19/95.
95 年 1 月 19 日。
Email me.
给我发电子邮件。
Cruiser3.
巡洋舰3.
Bye.
再见。
Love, Ken."
爱你，肯。”
And then on the 25th, there was one that looked like it was from Ken.
然后在 25 日，有一封看起来像是来自 Ken 的邮件。
It was his screen name.
这是他的网名。
But then, when I opened it up, it said, "this is a hard note for me to write.
但当我打开它时，它说：“这对我来说很难写。
Ken left a note to ask me to let you know Ken took his own life on Friday, January 20.
肯留下了一张纸条，请我转告你肯在 1 月 20 日星期五结束了自己的生命。
He was cremated yesterday, and his ashes will be dropped into the ocean off of San Francisco today.
他昨天被火化，今天他的骨灰将被撒入旧金山附近的大海。
Ken's mental attitude over the last four to six weeks is very hard to describe.
肯在过去四到六周里的精神状态很难描述。
He was a basket case to say the least.
至少可以说，他是一个废人。
I will keep his account open for the next day if you have any questions or response, and I will try to answer them for you.
如果您有任何问题或回复，我会在第二天保留他的帐户，我会尽力为您解答。
Ken's friend, Dave."
肯的朋友戴夫。”
Did he send you a final note in the last package he sent you?
他在寄给您的最后一个包裹中是否给您寄了最后一张纸条？
Yeah.
是的。
It was the only time I ever saw his handwriting.
这是我唯一一次看到他的笔迹。
And that said similar things.
这也说了类似的话。
He said, thank you for being a friend when I needed it.
他说，谢谢你在我需要的时候成为我的朋友。
And I would always love you.
我会永远爱你。
It must have been so strange to see a physical manifestation of him after the email.
邮件发出后看到他的身体表现一定很奇怪。
It was.
是的。
And what was really odd was that, when he first sent the first box of tapes, he told me which tape had a scene where the two people are the ones that he imagined us to be.
真正奇怪的是，当他第一次寄出第一盒磁带时，他告诉我哪盘磁带中有一个场景，其中两个人就是他想象中的我们。
Now, that doesn't mean that he looked like either one of them, but he knew the fantasies that would resonate with us.
现在，这并不意味着他看起来像他们中的任何一个，但他知道会引起我们共鸣的幻想。
So even at that point, our fantasies were constantly mediated by some other technology, which is probably hard for you to imagine.
所以即使在那时，我们的幻想也不断地受到其他一些技术的调节，这可能你很难想象。
But none of this was cold.
但这一切都不冷。
There was something so tender about this that I was very moved by this experience.
这件事是如此温柔，以至于我对这次经历非常感动。
After he died, did you go through a period of mourning for him?
他去世后，你为他经历过一段哀悼期吗？
Yes, I did.
是的，我做到了。
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass What a strange thing to be mourning somebody who you never actually saw.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 哀悼一个你从未真正见过的人是一件多么奇怪的事情。
Yeah.
是的。
Although, it's real.
虽然，这是真的。
You know, when people say, oh, the computers are making us all isolated and it's such a cold world, I've had emotional experiences and long-term friendships that would have never possible otherwise.
你知道，当人们说，哦，电脑让我们变得孤立，世界如此寒冷，我却拥有了否则不可能有的情感体验和长期友谊。
It's funny because it's almost like the whole thing, it could be a con, an elaborate con.
这很有趣，因为它几乎就像整个事情一样，它可能是一个骗局，一个精心设计的骗局。
He would be such a creep that-- I thought of that, actually.
他真是个令人讨厌的人——事实上，我也这么想过。
Because it seemed almost like a melodrama from a long time ago.
因为这看起来就像是很久以前的情节剧。
It was really tawdry.
真的很俗气。
And if I wrote a short story, I wouldn't end it this way because it was too hokey.
如果我写一篇短篇小说，我不会这样结尾，因为它太做作了。
After he died, you know how after somebody you're close to is gone, how when you go back to the places where you used to go with them, you'll think of them inevitably and miss them.
他去世后，你知道当你亲近的人离开后，当你回到曾经和他们一起去过的地方时，你会不可避免地想起他们并想念他们。
After he was gone, when you would get back on your computer, would you sense his loss?
他离开后，当你重新打开电脑时，你会感觉到他的失落吗？
Yes.
是的。
He really felt gone.
他真的感觉自己消失了。
He really felt gone.
他真的感觉自己消失了。
When I saw somebody else using his screen name, I mean, to get a stranger with his screen name, that was really, really chilling.
当我看到其他人使用他的网名时，我的意思是，让一个陌生人使用他的网名，这真的非常非常令人不寒而栗。
Earl Jackson in Santa Cruz.
厄尔·杰克逊在圣克鲁斯。
Credits Ira Glass Well, our program was produced today by Dolores Wilbur, Julie Snyder, and me, with Paul Tough, David Hauptschein, Peter Clowney, Alix Spiegel, and Nancy Updike.
感谢 Ira Glass 嗯，我们今天的节目由 Dolores Wilbur、Julie Snyder 和我以及 Paul Tough、David Hauptschein、Peter Clowney、Alix Spiegel 和 Nancy Updike 共同制作。
Elizabeth Meister runs our website.
伊丽莎白·梅斯特 (Elizabeth Meister) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Laura Doggett, Seth Lind, Thea Chaloner, and Sativa January.
Laura Doggett、Seth Lind、Thea Chaloner 和 Sativa January 为制作提供帮助。
The internet part of today's program was a co-production with Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art, Peter Taub, curator.
今天节目的网络部分是与芝加哥当代艺术博物馆馆长彼得·陶布（Peter Taub）共同制作的。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] David Hauptschein's most recent play, The Ballad of Johnny 5 Star , premiered at the Edinburgh Theater Fringe Festival.
[鸣谢] David Hauptschein 的最新戏剧《约翰尼五星之歌》在爱丁堡边缘戏剧节首演。
Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our show for absolutely free, or buy CDs of them, or you know you can download today's program at our archives on that famous internet at audible.com/thisamericanlife.
我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的节目，或购买其中的 CD，或者您知道您可以在著名的互联网 audible.com/thisamericanlife 的档案库中下载今天的节目。
This American Life is distributed bu Public Radio International .
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by Torey Malatia, who insists he doesn't even know what Office 97 is.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理部门由 Torey Malatia 对我们的项目进行监督，他坚称他甚至不知道 Office 97 是什么。
No matter what anybody says--
不管别人怎么说——
He actually was going to set me up with a copy of Office 97.
他实际上打算给我安装一份 Office 97。
He never did.
他从来没有这样做过。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。