308: Star-Crossed Love - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #308 | February 9, 2007 308: Star-Crossed Love Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 308 集 | 2007 年 2 月 9 日 308：命运多舛的爱情 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass OK, so let me just ask you this straight off.
序言 Ira Glass 好的，让我直接问你这个问题。
We're doing a show this week about doomed love.
本周我们要做一档关于注定的爱情的节目。
Oh.
哦。
Ira Glass What was that "Oh"?
艾拉·格拉斯那个“哦”是什么？
What did that "Oh" mean?
那个“哦”是什么意思？
Well, I feel like that's the most frequent situation I get.
嗯，我觉得这是我最常遇到的情况。
So frequently, they're hopeful and I am really pessimistic.
很多时候，他们充满希望，而我却非常悲观。
Right.
正确的。
So we thought to ourselves, me and the people who work on this radio show, OK, Valentine's Day.
所以我们对自己、我和这个广播节目的工作人员想，好吧，情人节。
Let's do a show of incredibly romantic stories.
让我们表演一个令人难以置信的浪漫故事。
And of course, some of the most romantic stories are stories of doomed love, your Romeo and Juliet kinds of stories.
当然，一些最浪漫的故事是注定爱情的故事，即罗密欧与朱丽叶式的故事。
Star-crossed lovers.
命运多舛的恋人。
Somehow the fact that they can never be makes their love seem all the more intense.
不知何故，他们永远无法成为的事实让他们的爱显得更加强烈。
But when we turned to somebody who you'd think would be seeing lots of these kinds of stories in real life, Amy Dickinson, who writes the "Ask Amy" advice column in about 150 newspapers, she said, yes, she sees stories of doomed love all the time.
但是，当我们求助于艾米·狄金森（Amy Dickinson），她在大约 150 家报纸上撰写“询问艾米”建议专栏时，她说，是的，她总是看到注定爱情的故事。
All the time.
一直以来。
It's the most frequent thing that she sees, but usually it is not so romantic.
这是她最常看到的事情，但通常并不那么浪漫。
OK.
好的。
Here's one.
这是一个。
"Dear Amy.
“亲爱的艾米。
I'm in love with a very charming older man.
我爱上了一个非常有魅力的老人。
He's always there for me when something arises, and I have some doozies arise.
当事情发生时，他总是在我身边，我也遇到了一些奇怪的事情。
We get along well, enjoy each other's company.
我们相处得很好，享受彼此的陪伴。
We hardly ever fight except over the following six things.
除了以下六件事之外，我们几乎不吵架。
One, he cheated on me, then when caught, said he stopped.
第一，他欺骗了我，然后当被发现时，他说他停止了。
Two, he has female friends he sees and purposely doesn't share those visits with me, and has never introduced me to any of them.
第二，他有见过的女性朋友，但故意不与我分享这些拜访，也从未将我介绍给她们中的任何一个。
Three, I've never met any of his male friends.
第三，我从未见过他的男性朋友。
Four, he's never taken me to work functions, as he has attended several of mine.
第四，他从来没有带我去参加工作活动，因为他参加了我的几次工作活动。
Five, except for when talking to family, he doesn't acknowledge my presence to callers on the phone.
五，除了与家人交谈时，他不会在电话中向来电者承认我的存在。
And six, when I catch him lying, hiding something, or disrespecting my feelings, he withdraws, blames me, never apologizes, and says he's in pain over my questioning of his behavior.
第六，当我发现他撒谎、隐瞒什么或不尊重我的感受时，他会退缩、责备我、从不道歉，并说他因我对他行为的质疑而感到痛苦。
At one time, these things hurt me and that hurt turned into insecurity and rage when I wasn't heard and my feelings weren't accepted.
曾经，这些事情伤害了我，当我的声音没有被听到并且我的感受没有被接受时，这种伤害变成了不安全感和愤怒。
Now I think something is fundamentally wrong with this picture.
现在我认为这张照片有根本性的错误。
I'm getting mixed signals.
我收到了混合信号。
What do you think?"
你觉得怎么样？”
OK, so he's still seeing other women.
好吧，所以他还在和其他女人约会。
He's keeping her a secret.
他正在为她保守秘密。
Maybe he's married to somebody else.
也许他已经和别人结婚了。
But that's the only thing that's wrong.
但这是唯一错误的地方。
Otherwise it's great.
否则就太好了。
So they are totally doomed.
所以他们完全是注定的。
Amy Dickinson Yeah, totally.
艾米·狄金森 是的，完全可以。
What are you going to say to her?
你要对她说什么？
What did you say to her?
你对她说什么了？
You are, one, totally doomed.
你，一个，完全注定了。
Two, absolutely doomed.
二、彻底注定。
Three- you know, I'll give her a list.
三——你知道，我会给她一份清单。
Let me read another one to you.
让我再读一篇给你听。
This came in.
这进来了。
"Dear Amy.
“亲爱的艾米。
I've been dating a man on and off for at least 15 years.
我断断续续地和一个男人约会至少15年了。
He let me know on the first date that he's a confirmed bachelor.
第一次约会时他就告诉我他已经是单身汉了。
I'm single, too.
我也是单身。
Sometimes I don't hear from him for more than a year."
有时我一年多都没有他的消息。”
Just a second.
稍等一下。
Doesn't confirmed bachelor mean gay?
确定单身不是意味着同性恋吗？
Yeah.
是的。
"I'm single, too.
“我也是单身。
Sometimes I don't hear from him for more than a year, and then he'll call to go out.
有时我一年多没有他的消息，然后他就会打电话出去。
Do you think I should always go out with him when he calls?
你认为当他打电话时我应该总是和他一起出去吗？
I don't want to seem desperate.
我不想显得绝望。
Also, do you think I should call him when I don't hear from him?
另外，你认为当我没有收到他的消息时我应该给他打电话吗？
I don't want him to think I'm a chaser.
我不想让他认为我是一个追逐者。
I like him very much and I find him very interesting to talk to.
我非常喜欢他并且觉得和他交谈很有趣。
He's also very smart and I like smart men.
他也很聪明，我喜欢聪明的男人。
So far, we've had a very platonic relationship."
到目前为止，我们的关系非常柏拉图式。”
He's extremely well-groomed.
他打扮得非常得体。
Amy Dickinson Right.
艾米·狄金森 对。
If you put her in the column, are you going to say, "Will and Grace."
如果你把她放在专栏里，你会说“威尔和格蕾丝”吗？
Yeah, I do.
是的，我愿意。
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
I have done that.
我已经这么做了。
I will say, "This man is definitely gay.
我会说：“这个男人绝对是同性恋。
Just so you know that.
只是为了让你知道这一点。
That's what's behind the platonic, 15 years, a year between phone calls.
这就是柏拉图式的背后的原因，15年，一年一次电话间隔。
He's definitely gay." Yeah, I've done that.
他绝对是同性恋。”是的，我已经这么做了。
"Just FYI."
“仅供参考。”
As for the kind of old-fashioned star-crossed love, the romantic kind, where two people are destined for each other and they struggle against great odds and love triumphs-- I should not have asked Amy.
至于那种老式的命运多舛的爱情，那种浪漫的爱情，即两个人命中注定的爱情，他们克服巨大的困难而获得爱情的胜利——我不应该问艾米。
She just had a few letters like that.
她只收到过几封这样的信。
These situations are rare, she says.
她说，这些情况很少见。
She had a Jewish woman and a Hindu Sikh man, very much in love, both afraid of how their families were going to react and how they were going to make a life together.
她有一个犹太女人和一个印度教锡克教男人，他们非常相爱，但都担心他们的家人会如何反应，以及他们将如何共同生活。
She had first cousins, first cousins in love, and though it's legal for them to marry in a dozen states, she says they would face real hurdles with their family.
她有表兄弟姐妹，表兄弟姐妹相爱，尽管他们在十几个州结婚是合法的，但她说他们将面临与家人相处的真正障碍。
Or there was this letter she got, for her very first column.
或者她收到了这封信，这是她的第一篇专栏文章。
This woman was stopping at a gas station every day on her way home from work.
这位女士每天下班回家途中都会在加油站停下来。
And the guy who worked at the gas station had a huge crush on her.
在加油站工作的那个人非常迷恋她。
And he wrote to me, wondering if he-- even though he's a gas station attendant and she was, he thought, a busy executive, what should he do?
他写信给我，想知道他是否——尽管他是一名加油站服务员，而她是一位忙碌的高管，他想，他应该做什么？
And in that case I felt really-- I was young.
在那种情况下，我真的觉得——我还年轻。
What did I know?
我知道什么？
I said, "Go for it.
我说：“去做吧。
Look for signs that she's interested in you.
寻找她对你感兴趣的迹象。
She seems to be coming to the gas station every single day and buying gas in very small amounts.
她似乎每天都会去加油站买很少量的汽油。
I think she's interested."
我认为她有兴趣。”
"If she's finding a reason to talk to you--" because they were chit-chatting.
“如果她想找个理由跟你说话——”因为他们正在闲聊。
So, about a week after it ran, I got a letter from her.
所以，大约一周后，我收到了她的一封信。
She said, "I think I'm the woman in the letter.
她说：“我想我就是信中的那个女人。
I think I'm the woman who's stopping in.
我想我就是那个停下来的女人。
And you know what, I'm interested.
你知道吗，我很感兴趣。
What should I do?"
我该怎么办？”
And I said, "OK.
我说：“好吧。
Now I'm out of it.
现在我已经摆脱了。
Now I'm getting out of this [UNINTELLIGIBLE]-- Now you take your letter, he'll take his letter, and now you have something real to talk about."
现在我要摆脱这个[难以理解]——现在你拿走你的信，他也会拿走他的信，现在你有一些真正的东西可以谈论了。”
So there's a happy story for Valentine's Day.
于是就有了一个关于情人节的欢乐故事。
Oh.
哦。
Yeah, well, you could seize on that.
是的，好吧，你可以抓住这一点。
A story where you don't know the ending is a happy story.
不知道结局的故事才是幸福的故事。
Listen to the words that you are saying.
听听你所说的话。
"Yeah, you can seize on that," meaning that straw, that tiny little straw.
“是的，你可以抓住它”，意思是那根稻草，那根小小的稻草。
You know what you are?
你知道你是什么吗？
You know what you are?
你知道你是什么吗？
You're like a cop.
你就像一个警察。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
All you see is the worst cases.
你所看到的只是最坏的情况。
Exactly.
确切地。
All you see is the bad.
你看到的都是坏的。
So you have no idea that it can be something else.
所以你不知道它可能是别的东西。
Yeah.
是的。
That's right.
这是正确的。
I've been walking the streets of Hell's Kitchen.
我一直在地狱厨房的街道上行走。
Where is the romance, my friends?
朋友们，浪漫在哪里？
Where is the romance these days?
这些天的浪漫在哪里？
Well, today in our program, for Valentine's Day, we head out into the world looking for stories of true love, love that fate is against in every way.
好吧，今天在我们的节目中，在情人节，我们前往世界各地寻找真爱的故事，寻找与命运在各方面对抗的爱。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
We bring you three stories of star-crossed love today.
今天我们为大家带来三个不幸的爱情故事。
Act One, Prisoner of Love.
第一幕，爱情的囚徒。
In that act, two people overcome incredible barriers to their love.
在那一幕中，两个人克服了爱情中难以置信的障碍。
Their countries are at war.
他们的国家正处于战争之中。
He's Iraqi.
他是伊拉克人。
She's American.
她是美国人。
He is a prisoner.
他是一名囚犯。
She is his guard.
她是他的护卫。
Act Two, The Diary of Mrs. Sam Horrigan.
第二幕，萨姆·霍里根夫人的日记。
A high-school girl tells the story of one doomed love that improbably and accidentally and against her will became a second doomed love story.
一名高中女孩讲述了一段注定的爱情的故事，而这段爱情却不可思议地、意外地违背了她的意愿，变成了第二段注定的爱情故事。
Act Three, So a Chipmunk and a Squirrel Walk Into a Bar.
第三幕，一只花栗鼠和一只松鼠走进一家酒吧。
In that act, a brand-new story by David Sedaris, a look inside what it is really like, really truly like, when families disapprove, when society looks down its nose, where there's a love and one of you is a chipmunk and the other is a squirrel.
在那一幕中，大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）讲述了一个全新的故事，深入了解了真实的情况，真正的真实情况，当家庭不赞成时，当社会鄙视时，当有爱时，你们中的一个是花栗鼠，另一个是松鼠。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Prisoner of Love.
第一幕，爱情的囚徒。
This is a kind of unlikely love story, and the only reason that it could happen at all is a series of very unlikely events that precede it.
这是一个不太可能的爱情故事，它可能发生的唯一原因是在它之前发生了一系列非常不可能的事件。
And, I've got to say, we're going to dwell on those events here for a minute or two, because they really are kind of incredible.
而且，我必须说，我们将在这里详细讨论这些事件一两分钟，因为它们确实令人难以置信。
It starts with a kid, this kid, Shant Kenderian, who's Armenian, born and raised in Baghdad.
故事从一个孩子开始，这个孩子叫尚特·肯德里安 (Shant Kenderian)，他是亚美尼亚人，在巴格达出生和长大。
When he's 13, his parents divorce.
当他13岁时，他的父母离婚了。
He goes to live with his mom in suburban Illinois, outside Chicago.
他和母亲一起住在芝加哥郊外的伊利诺伊州郊区。
Basically, he becomes an American kid, fluent in English.
基本上，他变成了一个美国孩子，英语很流利。
The summer before his senior year, he goes to visit his dad in Iraq.
大四前的那个夏天，他去伊拉克看望父亲。
He's there for a few days.
他在那里呆了几天。
The Iran-Iraq war starts.
两伊战争开始。
Borders are closed.
边界已关闭。
He's stuck.
他被困住了。
Soon enough, he's drafted into the Iran-Iraq war.
很快，他就被征召参加两伊战争。
He spends three and a half years fighting the Iranians.
他花了三年半的时间与伊朗人作战。
He's at the front lines.
他在前线。
He's near Basra.
他在巴士拉附近。
The war ends.
战争结束。
After the war, borders are reopened.
战争结束后，边界重新开放。
He begins applying again to renew his US green card and join his mother, who's now moved to LA.
他开始再次申请更新他的美国绿卡并与他的母亲团聚，而他的母亲现在搬到了洛杉矶。
Then, before that process is completed, Iraq invades Kuwait.
然后，在这一过程完成之前，伊拉克入侵科威特。
Again, borders close.
再次，边界关闭。
All the men under 55 are drafted.
所有55岁以下的男子都应征入伍。
Shant ends up in the Iraqi navy.
尚特最终加入了伊拉克海军。
Who even knew they had a navy, right?
谁知道他们有海军，对吧？
So in a tiny boat-- it's like a landing craft.
所以在一艘小船上——它就像一艘登陆艇。
Only two of the 30 guys on the boat actually have guns.
船上30个人中只有两个人有枪。
Very little food, very little water.
食物很少，水也很少。
Their job is-- here's their mission.
他们的工作是——这就是他们的使命。
Are you ready?
你准备好了吗？
They're supposed to sail into the Persian Gulf, tossing 400-pound floating mines into the water.
他们应该驶入波斯湾，将 400 磅重的漂浮水雷抛入水中。
Now, normally, these kinds of mines, you anchor them down to the bottom, and you keep track of where they are on a map, so you know where they are.
现在，通常情况下，这些类型的地雷，你将它们固定在底部，并跟踪它们在地图上的位置，这样你就知道它们在哪里。
Their mission?
他们的使命？
They're just supposed to toss them off the side of the boat and then gun the engine to get away before the mines float back up and explode.
他们应该把它们从船边扔下来，然后在水雷重新浮起并爆炸之前启动发动机逃离。
So then they drop the mines.
然后他们就会放下地雷。
And what they're supposed to do is drop the mines, pass through these waters, and then drive back through the same water that they've just littered with mines.
他们应该做的就是放下地雷，穿过这些水域，然后穿过他们刚刚布满地雷的水域返回。
That's their job.
那是他们的工作。
OK.
好的。
So, for Shant and the other guys in the boat, the way that they saw it is that their greatest hope of getting out of all this alive is that they would be captured, captured and captured quickly by the Americans.
所以，对于尚特和船上的其他人来说，他们认为活着离开这一切的最大希望就是被美国人抓住、抓住、很快抓住。
And in fact, after boat fires and air attacks, the Americans see them.
事实上，在船只起火和空袭之后，美国人就看到了它们。
They attack.
他们攻击。
They abandon ship.
他们弃船了。
They're floating in this little life raft, waiting to be taken prisoner, not sure what's going to happen to them next.
他们漂浮在这个小救生筏上，等待着被俘虏，不知道接下来会发生什么。
All right.
好的。
Here's Shant.
这是尚特。
He's going to read from a memoir that he wrote.
他将阅读他写的回忆录。
While the helicopter orbited around the life raft and boat, it passed by the raft once every few minutes.
直升机绕着救生筏和救生艇旋转时，每隔几分钟就会经过救生筏一次。
Ahmed was excited, like a little puppy.
艾哈迈德很兴奋，就像一只小狗。
He followed the helicopter with his eyes and whole body, making it very uncomfortable in the crowded raft.
他的目光和全身都跟着直升机，在拥挤的筏子里显得很不舒服。
When the helicopter made a sudden turn, Ahmed too swung around, and elbowed Riyadh in his already-injured face, giving him a nosebleed.
当直升机突然转弯时，艾哈迈德也转身，用肘部撞到利雅德已经受伤的脸上，导致他流鼻血。
Whenever the helicopter came close to the raft, we cheered and waved at the pilot in an overly friendly gesture.
每当直升机靠近木筏时，我们都会欢呼，并以一种过于友好的姿态向飞行员挥手致意。
After doing this a dozen times, I explained to my Iraqi friends that the pilot understood the message.
这样做了十几次后，我向我的伊拉克朋友解释说，飞行员理解了这个信息。
We didn't need to cheer anymore.
我们不需要再欢呼了。
Two more helicopters came, followed by a large missile frigate.
又来了两架直升机，后面跟着一艘大型导弹护卫舰。
"They're going to kill us," cried Ahmed.
“他们会杀了我们，”艾哈迈德喊道。
"Don't be ridiculous.
“别开玩笑了。
We surrendered," I told him.
我们投降了，”我告诉他。
"They're here to pick us up."
“他们是来接我们的。”
"Do you think they will beat us up or torture us?" Munther asked this time.
“你认为他们会殴打我们或者折磨我们吗？”蒙特这次问道。
"But weren't they the ones who dropped nuclear bombs on Japan?
“但是他们不是向日本投下核弹的人吗？
And what about the war they fought in Vietnam?
那么他们在越南打的战争呢？
I read that many Americans married Vietnamese women, and when the war was over, they left them behind with their children." Apparently, Munther had been reading some Iraqi propaganda.
我读到，许多美国人与越南妇女结婚，战争结束后，他们把她们和孩子留在了身后。”显然，蒙特一直在阅读一些伊拉克的宣传材料。
"They didn't do this to torture the Vietnamese women," I said.
“他们这样做并不是为了折磨越南妇女，”我说。
"I really don't think anyone's going to marry you and leave you behind." A wave of laughter shook the raft.
“我真的不认为有人会嫁给你然后把你抛在身后。”一阵笑声震动了木筏。
There were approximately 100 Americans out on the deck of the missile frigate.
导弹护卫舰的甲板上大约有 100 名美国人。
We saw smiling faces, cameras flashing, and video cameras.
我们看到了笑脸、闪光灯和摄像机。
For each Iraqi on the life raft, there were at least two or three guns and one camera pointed at us, ready to go off.
救生筏上的每个伊拉克人至少有两三把枪和一台摄像机对着我们，准备出发。
The contrast between the American and Iraqi soldiers was astounding.
美国和伊拉克士兵之间的对比令人震惊。
They looked like athletes, like swimmers and boxers and football players.
他们看起来像运动员，像游泳运动员、拳击手和足球运动员。
We stood with our wasted bodies, malnourished and plagued.
我们站着，身体虚弱，营养不良，饱受折磨。
We felt like an inferior species.
我们感觉自己是低等物种。
We had, between 15 of us, two guns, one helmet, and 15 old gas masks.
我们 15 个人有两支枪、一顶头盔和 15 个旧防毒面具。
Each American soldier had his own gun, helmet, gas mask, bulletproof vest, eye protection goggles, flashlights, and ear plugs.
每个美国士兵都有自己的枪、头盔、防毒面具、防弹背心、护目镜、手电筒和耳塞。
Ear plugs.
耳塞。
The luxury of that amazed me.
其奢华程度令我惊讶。
Here was a country that respected its soldiers so much it would even take care of their ears.
这是一个非常尊重士兵的国家，甚至会照顾他们的耳朵。
I must have stared too long, because the guard became uncomfortable and told me to look away.
我一定是盯着看得太久了，因为警卫感到不舒服并让我把目光移开。
I was the 11th prisoner aboard the USS Curts, and the 23rd POW of Desert Storm.
我是“柯特”号航空母舰上的第 11 名囚犯，也是“沙漠风暴”号上的第 23 名战俘。
It was noon of January 24, 1991, eight days into the war.
那是 1991 年 1 月 24 日中午，战争已经进行了第八天。
So the Americans figure out right away that Shant is different from all these other prisoners.
因此，美国人立即发现尚特与所有其他囚犯不同。
For one thing, he's fluent in English.
一方面，他的英语很流利。
Because of that, they assume that either he is a high-ranking Iraqi officer or he's a spy.
因此，他们认为他要么是伊拉克高级军官，要么是间谍。
He is put through many, many interrogations with a revolving cast of American interrogators.
他接受了美国审讯人员的多次审讯。
He writes that actually his treatment is not so bad, but it is harrowing.
他写道，实际上他的待遇并没有那么糟糕，但令人痛苦。
He is constantly blindfolded and handcuffed and forced to spend several days with real Iraqi officers in an outdoor pit dug in the sand at a base in Saudi Arabia.
他经常被蒙住眼睛和戴上手铐，被迫与真正的伊拉克军官在沙特阿拉伯基地的一个露天沙坑里呆上几天。
After about six weeks of this, he says, he's sent to another POW camp, the 403rd, where he's supposed to wait to be transferred to Saudi custody.
他说，大约六周后，他被送往另一个战俘营，即第 403 号战俘营，他应该在那里等待被转移到沙特拘留所。
He of course does not want Saudi custody.
他当然不想要沙特的监护权。
He wants to go to America.
他想去美国。
And it's at the 403rd that the Americans start to believe his story.
直到第 403 次，美国人才开始相信他的故事。
And they can use his translation skills, so they make him a trustee, meaning that he acts as kind of an employee, and has more freedom and he isn't subject to interrogations anymore.
他们可以利用他的翻译技能，让他成为受托人，这意味着他就像雇员一样，有更多的自由，不再受到审讯。
And it's while working at the 403rd that he meets Monica.
正是在 403 室工作期间，他认识了莫妮卡。
It was perhaps the second day at the 403rd when the Americans asked if I could help unload some boxes of MREs.
大约是在 403 营的第二天，美国人问我是否可以帮忙卸下几箱 MRE。
The truck driver happened to be an attractive young female soldier.
卡车司机恰好是一位年轻貌美的女军人。
She handed down the boxes from the truck bed while we stacked them in the supply tent nearby.
她把箱子从卡车上递下来，而我们则把它们堆放在附近的补给帐篷里。
The two Iraqi POWs who were helping me found it highly strange to interact with a woman in this way.
帮助我的两名伊拉克战俘发现以这种方式与一名妇女互动非常奇怪。
"Do they do the same work as men?" asked one of them.
“她们和男人做同样的工作吗？”其中一位问道。
"It looks like it.
“看起来是这样。
See?
看到了吗？
This one is driving a truck," answered the other.
这个人正在开卡车。”另一个人回答道。
Women drove cars in Iraq, but it was unheard of to see one driving a truck.
在伊拉克，女性开车，但从未听说过女性驾驶卡车。
"American guys don't seem to care if there are females among them," said the first.
“美国男人似乎并不关心其中是否有女性，”第一个说。
The second one smiled.
第二个微笑着。
"I'm sure it's a different story at night."
“我确信晚上的情况会有所不同。”
The guys seemed baffled at how the male American soldiers interacted with the woman in such a matter-of-fact way.
这些家伙似乎对美国男兵如何以如此平淡的方式与这位女士互动感到困惑。
As for me, I had lived in the US.
至于我，我曾在美国生活过。
In Iraq, we were Christians, not Muslims, so I had enjoyed plenty of social interaction with women.
在伊拉克，我们是基督徒，而不是穆斯林，所以我很享受与女性的大量社交互动。
I wasn't inclined to fall in love just because a female soldier handed me a box of MREs.
我不会因为一个女兵递给我一盒MRE就倾向于恋爱。
Still, I was hardly desensitized to her presence either.
尽管如此，我对她的存在也几乎没有麻木不仁。
She was beautiful.
她很漂亮。
She had red hair.
她有一头红头发。
She smiled.
她笑了。
While we were working to unload the truck, I was aware that she had noticed me too, but more in a way where she actually seemed to be looking away from me a little more than one normally would in a work-together situation.
当我们在卡车上卸货时，我意识到她也注意到了我，但更多的是，她实际上似乎把目光从我身上移开，比在一起工作的情况下通常会多一点。
I continued unloading the truck, reminding myself that I wasn't there to find a girlfriend in a POW camp.
我继续从卡车上卸货，提醒自己我不是来战俘营找女朋友的。
When we'd finally finished unloading the MREs, she came over to talk.
当我们终于卸下 MRE 后，她走过来说话。
We introduced ourselves.
我们做了自我介绍。
Monica was her name.
莫妮卡是她的名字。
It turned out she had heard about me, and was curious to learn about my journey from high school in the Chicago suburbs to prisoner of war in Saudi Arabia.
原来她听说过我，并且很好奇我从芝加哥郊区的高中到沙特阿拉伯的战俘的经历。
I told her about myself.
我告诉她我自己的事。
I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she listened intently, and only interrupted to ask more questions.
我不知道她在想什么，但她专注地听着，只是打断了问更多问题。
I was surprised by how good it felt to have this woman show a genuine interest in me as an individual human being and not just some enemy soldier.
让我惊讶的是，这个女人对我作为一个个体而不只是一个敌方士兵表现出真正的兴趣，这种感觉是多么好。
It wasn't really anything specific she said.
她说的其实并不是什么具体的事情。
She asked me the same questions I was asked every day during interrogation.
她问我的问题和我每天在审讯期间被问到的问题一样。
The difference was in her body language, the way she leaned on her truck beside me, and the sound of her voice.
不同之处在于她的肢体语言、她靠在我旁边的卡车上的方式，以及她的声音。
Over the next few days, I watched Monica a lot.
接下来的几天里，我看了莫妮卡很多次。
She had this breezy, warm, gentle air about her that seemed so California to me.
她身上有一种轻松、温暖、温柔的气息，对我来说就像是加州的感觉。
It was just her smile and laugh, the way she brought a playful atmosphere into the processing tent, something I never would have expected in the military during wartime.
这只是她的微笑和笑声，她给加工帐篷带来了一种俏皮的气氛，这是我在战时军队中从未想到的。
She totally contrasted with this harsh and deadly place.
她与这个严酷而死气沉沉的地方形成了鲜明的对比。
For the next several days, the words "good morning" and "good night" were all that we said to one another.
接下来的几天，我们互相说的都是“早安”、“晚安”。
In the beginning, I was careful never to greet her first, since I had this little problem of being an enemy POW.
一开始，我很小心，从来没有先跟她打招呼，因为我有一个作为敌方战俘的小问题。
And when I returned her greeting, I was careful to use the American custom of meeting a woman's gaze directly but not staring at her.
当我回应她的问候时，我小心翼翼地遵循美国的习俗，直接与女性目光接触，但不要盯着她看。
Things began to change when Wik, an American soldier who I translated for, brought me up as a topic of conversation with Monica.
当我担任翻译的一名美国士兵威克（Wik）将我作为与莫妮卡谈话的话题时，事情开始发生变化。
"Do you know him already?" he asked Monica, gesturing with his head at me.
“你已经认识他了吗？”他用头指着我问莫妮卡。
"Yes, he's my friend," she answered simply.
“是的，他是我的朋友，”她简单地回答。
Then she offered her hand to shake mine.
然后她伸出手与我握手。
"You are my friend, aren't you?" I was just so self-conscious about the odd situation.
“你是我的朋友，不是吗？”我对这种奇怪的情况感到非常不自在。
Then when Wik learned that Monica and her truck were free, he asked Lieutenant Cunningham's permission for all three of us to go to the 401st, where I was previously held, and retrieve my money and other belongings which were still there.
然后，当 Wik 得知 Monica 和她的卡车是自由的时，他请求 Cunningham 中尉允许我们三个人前往 401 营，也就是我之前被关押的地方，取回我的钱和其他仍然在那里的物品。
With permission granted, Wik grabbed his M-16 and sat with me in the truck bed while Monica drove a winding and bumpy dirt road.
获得许可后，维克抓起他的 M-16，和我一起坐在卡车车厢里，而莫妮卡则在蜿蜒崎岖的土路上行驶。
When we got to the 401st, I wanted to go with Wik, but he suggested that it might be better if I stayed in the truck.
当我们到达 401 号时，我想和 Wik 一起去，但他建议我留在卡车上可能会更好。
I was nervous about being left alone with Monica, especially when she stepped out and sat next to me on the truck bed.
我对独自和莫妮卡在一起感到很紧张，尤其是当她走出来坐在我旁边的卡车床上时。
But then she began talking, openly and with no apparent awkwardness.
但随后她开始说话，开诚布公，没有明显的尴尬。
It felt intoxicating.
感觉很陶醉。
Here I was, alone with this lovely woman in this improbable place.
我和这个可爱的女人独自在这个不可思议的地方。
Normally, this would have been a perfect opportunity to ask her out, which I know seems ridiculous.
通常来说，这将是约她出去的绝佳机会，但我知道这似乎很荒谬。
It was only Monica's matter-of-fact friendliness that kept the closeness from being overwhelming.
只是莫妮卡实事求是的友善才让这种亲密感不至于变得难以承受。
It was there that I first began to realize that I was carrying feelings for this woman, for this soldier.
正是在那里，我第一次开始意识到我对这个女人、这个士兵怀有感情。
Monica's work as a truck driver kept her away from the compound most of the time.
莫妮卡是一名卡车司机，因此她大部分时间都远离小区。
When she came, she would only be in the processing tent for a short time, but she always made sure to say hello.
她来的时候，只会在加工帐篷里待很短的时间，但她总是一定会打招呼。
Sometimes, she would ask for more details about all that happened to me, the treatment I received at the Marines camp and joint interrogation facility.
有时，她会询问更多关于我身上发生的事情、我在海军陆战队营地和联合审讯设施中受到的待遇的细节。
To me, the treatment didn't seem as atrocious as she felt it was.
对我来说，这种治疗似乎并不像她想象的那么残酷。
After all, I had been hoping to get captured by the Americans.
毕竟我一直希望被美国人俘虏。
It seemed the only alternative to certain death.
这似乎是除了必死无疑的唯一选择。
My extended stay in the interrogation camp didn't bother me, so long as I remained in American custody.
只要我仍被美国人拘留，我在审讯营的长期停留并不会困扰我。
I also told her about my flashbacks and nightmares.
我还告诉她我的回忆和噩梦。
In my dreams, I would often see myself trapped again in Iraq, or that Saddam likes me and wants me to always be near him.
在梦中，我经常会看到自己再次被困在伊拉克，或者萨达姆喜欢我，希望我永远在他身边。
So I had to pretend that I liked him too, or else face death.
所以我必须假装我也喜欢他，否则就面临死亡。
While Monica listened to my stories, at one point I felt her hand gently rub my back.
当莫妮卡听我讲故事时，有一次我感觉到她的手轻轻地抚摸着我的背。
I was afraid to comment on it, so I just kept on going.
我不敢对此发表评论，所以我就继续说下去。
"I don't know if I will ever be able to forget these things," I said.
“我不知道我是否能够忘记这些事情，”我说。
"You probably never will forget them, but eventually they won't be so painful anymore." She paused for a moment, then changed the subject.
“你可能永远不会忘记它们，但最终它们不会再那么痛苦了。”她停顿了一下，然后改变了话题。
"Do you have a girlfriend in Iraq?"
“你在伊拉克有女朋友吗？”
I was afraid to even hope that this might mean that she felt some special interest in me, so I give her an answer that stuck to the facts.
我什至不敢希望这可能意味着她对我有某种特殊的兴趣，所以我给了她一个符合事实的答案。
The Iraqi society is more westernized than many Arab countries, but still most marriages are arranged.
伊拉克社会比许多阿拉伯国家更加西化，但大多数婚姻仍然是包办的。
Couples have to date in secret with the intent to marry.
情侣必须秘密约会才能结婚。
I was attracted to a few girls, but I never made any advances.
我被几个女孩吸引，但我从未取得任何进步。
"I don't want to have a family.
“我不想有一个家庭。
I never expected to survive the Iran-Iraq war, and if I did, I didn't want any ties to hinder my attempts in escaping Iraq and returning to America."
我从未想过能在两伊战争中幸存下来，即使我能幸存，我也不希望任何关系阻碍我逃离伊拉克并返回美国的尝试。”
"Do you like children?" she asked.
“你喜欢孩子吗？”她问道。
"To tell you the truth, I usually don't give them any special attention, but they seem to like to play with me anyway.
“说实话，我平时不会对他们有什么特别的关注，但他们似乎还是很喜欢和我一起玩。
The same thing is true with dogs."
对于狗来说也是如此。”
Monica smiled.
莫妮卡笑了。
"Children and dogs know a nice person when they see one."
“孩子和狗一看到好人就知道是好人。”
On the surface, we appeared to have little in common.
从表面上看，我们似乎没有什么共同点。
Monica was a waitress from the Midwest, a people person who joined the Army Reserve to help make ends meet.
莫妮卡是一名来自中西部的女服务员，她加入陆军预备役部队是为了维持生计。
Her life was tough in many ways, with family crises and financial difficulty, yet simple in so many others, such as one would expect from a small-town life in a free country.
她的生活在很多方面都很艰难，有家庭危机和经济困难，但在其他许多方面她的生活很简单，比如人们对自由国家小镇生活的期望。
The stakes were very high, though.
不过，赌注非常高。
If we allowed our friendship to go any deeper and we were caught, Monica could be reprimanded.
如果我们的友谊进一步加深而被抓住，莫妮卡可能会受到谴责。
There was no telling how seriously.
不知道有多严重。
I could have easily been stripped from my special trustee status and transferred to the general population of Iraqi POWs.
我本可以轻易地被剥夺特殊受托人的地位，并转移到伊拉克战俘的普通民众中。
My interaction with the Americans would then diminish, and with it, all my hopes of returning to the United States would vanish.
我与美国人的互动将会减少，我返回美国的所有希望也会随之消失。
But the more we tried to stay away from each other, the more our feelings grew.
但我们越是试图远离彼此，我们的感情就越加深。
Up to now, I had always thought that love should start from the head and only later be allowed into the heart.
到现在为止，我一直认为爱应该从头脑开始，然后才能进入内心。
I thought that logic had to prevail over irrational emotional impulses, or forces that might attract us into relationships too difficult to maintain.
我认为逻辑必须战胜非理性的情感冲动，或者可能吸引我们陷入难以维持的关系的力量。
Romeo and Juliet, for example, should have known never to fall in love.
例如，罗密欧和朱丽叶应该知道永远不会坠入爱河。
But my theories were of little help when it came to Monica.
但当谈到莫妮卡时，我的理论几乎没有什么帮助。
Although no one else had made any comments yet about our association together, I was sure that back at their camp, the guys had plenty to say.
尽管还没有其他人对我们的合作发表任何评论，但我确信回到他们的营地，这些人有很多话要说。
It was clear that people were noticing the attraction between us.
很明显，人们注意到了我们之间的吸引力。
Soon, I decided that I needed to use my head and limit this budding relationship with Monica.
很快，我决定需要用我的头脑来限制与莫妮卡的这种萌芽关系。
After all, she was one of my American captors.
毕竟，她是我的美国绑架者之一。
So I convinced myself that whatever time I spent with her should be no different than with the other female soldiers around the admin compound.
所以我说服自己，无论我和她一起度过的时间，都应该与行政大院周围其他女兵一起度过的时间没有什么不同。
On the following day, Monica was mostly running errands somewhere outside the admin compound.
第二天，莫妮卡主要在行政院外的某个地方办事。
During the few times that she was briefly present, I made it a point to walk away from the processing tent and not to return until her truck was gone.
在她短暂出现的几次期间，我特意离开了加工帐篷，直到她的卡车消失后才返回。
Later in the afternoon I was sitting on a bench inside the processing tent, drawing on a sketchpad while waiting for another translation assignment.
下午晚些时候，我坐在加工帐篷内的长凳上，一边在画板上画画，一边等待另一项翻译任务。
I was so intent on my drawing that I didn't notice that she had entered the processing tent until she sat next to me and simply asked, "What are you doing?"
我全神贯注地画画，没有注意到她已经进入了加工帐篷，直到她坐在我旁边，简单地问：“你在做什么？”
"I'm trying to draw," I said.
“我正在尝试画画，”我说。
I didn't lift my eyes from the paper.
我的眼睛没有从纸上移开。
Monica stood up and walked away.
莫妮卡站起来走开了。
For the rest of the day, she didn't come near me or even look my way.
那天剩下的时间里，她没有靠近我，甚至没有看我一眼。
From that moment on, I didn't have to avoid her or pretend to go to the bathroom every time she entered the compound.
从那一刻起，我再也不用在她每次进院子的时候躲着她，或者假装去洗手间了。
She had taken the hint and was staying away from me.
她听懂了我的暗示，远离了我。
So much for what my head wanted.
我的头脑想要的就这么多。
But Monica was not the type who would leave things unsettled.
但莫妮卡并不是那种会置之不理的人。
Before she went home for the night, she asked me to sit with her in the truck.
晚上回家之前，她让我和她一起坐在卡车里。
"Why were you avoiding me all day?" she asked.
“你为什么一整天都躲着我？”她问道。
The directness of her question stabbed at me.
她问题的直接性刺痛了我。
All I could say was, "Monica, you've been very kind to me.
我只能说：“莫妮卡，你对我很好。
I just don't want to cause you any trouble.
我只是不想给你带来任何麻烦。
Your commanders could get all sorts of terrible ideas about this.
你的指挥官可能会对此产生各种可怕的想法。
They might think I'm trying to use you.
他们可能认为我想利用你。
I think, Monica, I think we should stop being friends."
我想，莫妮卡，我想我们应该停止做朋友了。”
She was quiet for a moment.
她沉默了一会儿。
"Listen, Shant.
“听着，尚特。
I know how to keep myself out of trouble.
我知道如何让自己远离麻烦。
It's true that the guys have been talking about our friendship, but I also heard Sergeant Shepherd tell them that it was nobody's business what I do." She waited for me to respond.
确实，这些家伙一直在谈论我们的友谊，但我也听到谢泼德中士告诉他们，我所做的事与任何人无关。”她等着我回应。
I was lost for words.
我哑口无言。
I could barely look at her.
我几乎不敢看她。
My throat tightened.
我的喉咙发紧。
"The guys can talk all they want," she continued.
“这些人想说什么就说什么，”她继续说道。
"But I want to be your friend, Shant.
“但我想成为你的朋友，尚特。
I love you."
我爱你。”
I held her hand and said, "I love you too, Monica." She kissed my hand and I kissed hers.
我握着她的手说：“我也爱你，莫妮卡。”她吻了我的手，我也吻了她的手。
And that simple gesture of affection was one of the most powerful emotional experiences that I had ever had.
这种简单的关爱之举是我所经历过的最强烈的情感体验之一。
She smiled and said, "You didn't expect to go to war and find yourself a girl, did you?"
她笑道：“你没想到去打仗还给自己找了个女孩吧？”
"This is crazy," I said, and I don't doubt that she felt the same way.
“这太疯狂了，”我说，我毫不怀疑她也有同样的感觉。
"It's funny how everyone preaches that we should love our enemy," she replied.
“有趣的是，每个人都宣扬我们应该爱我们的敌人，”她回答道。
Then she changed the subject.
然后她改变了话题。
We talked for nearly an hour.
我们聊了将近一个小时。
I kept telling myself to leave, without success.
我一直告诉自己要离开，但没有成功。
A few days later, Monica asked me to help her carry some containers of liquid detergent into the supply tent.
几天后，莫妮卡让我帮她把一些装液体洗涤剂的容器搬进补给帐篷。
Once we were alone, she opened her arms and gave me a very long hug.
当我们独处时，她张开双臂，给了我一个很长的拥抱。
I let my guard down and forgot that I was a POW for a moment.
我放松了警惕，一时忘记了自己是战俘。
We didn't kiss.
我们没有接吻。
We just hugged.
我们只是拥抱了。
But the next day, she asked me into the supply tent again.
但第二天，她又邀请我进补给帐篷。
She kissed me on the cheek, and I kissed her back.
她吻了我的脸颊，我也回吻了她。
It was not a passionate kiss.
这不是一个充满激情的吻。
It couldn't have been.
不可能的。
The processing tent, with everybody in it, was less than 15 feet away.
所有人都在里面的加工帐篷距离不到 15 英尺。
Anyone could have walked in on us at any time.
任何人都可能随时闯入我们的行列。
We decided that the risk was too great.
我们认为风险太大了。
Before anyone could notice that we were gone too long, we stepped back out.
在有人注意到我们离开太久之前，我们退了出去。
"I wish that we were together," Monica said, "in civilian clothing, holding hands and walking down the streets of my hometown.
“我希望我们能在一起，”莫妮卡说，“穿着便服，手牵着手，走在我家乡的街道上。
People would see us but no one would care at all." Monica was wistful.
人们会看到我们，但根本没人会关心。”莫妮卡满怀渴望。
She seemed a million miles away.
她似乎离我们有一百万英里。
After I spent a month with the 403rd, the US army was beginning the transfer of POWs to Saudi camps.
我在第 403 营呆了一个月后，美军开始将战俘转移到沙特营地。
They were preparing to go back to America without me.
他们正准备在没有我的情况下返回美国。
At least, with fewer POWs in the camp, the workload was relaxed, and I found myself spending more time with Monica.
至少，营地里的战俘减少了，工作量减轻了，我发现自己花更多的时间和莫妮卡在一起。
By now, our friendship was widely known, but no one seemed to mind.
到目前为止，我们的友谊已广为人知，但似乎没有人介意。
We sat on the bench and played cards in the processing tent.
我们坐在加工帐篷的长凳上打牌。
I won, she cheated, I stopped her from cheating, and she called out to a nearby officer, "Sir.
我赢了，她作弊，我阻止她作弊，她向附近的一名警官喊道：“先生。
He cheats, sir."
他作弊了，先生。”
The officer shook his head and muttered, "Just like my kids.
军官摇摇头，嘟哝道：“就像我的孩子们一样。
Just like my kids."
就像我的孩子一样。”
Monica giggled and whispered in my ear, "He says everything twice."
莫妮卡咯咯地笑着，在我耳边低声说道：“他每句话都说了两遍。”
"That's very unusual.
“这很不寻常。
That's very unusual," I replied.
这很不寻常，”我回答道。
Enclosure One closed down, and I was transferred to Enclosure Two, which was scheduled to close down 10 days later.
一号围栏关闭了，我被转移到二号围栏，原定十天后关闭。
On my second day there, Monica stopped visiting.
我在那里的第二天，莫妮卡就不再来了。
When I saw her truck, a man was driving it.
当我看到她的卡车时，一个男人正在驾驶它。
My heart was crushed.
我的心都碎了。
Monica's truck had been taken away, and she had no way to come and visit me again.
莫妮卡的卡车被拿走了，她没办法再来看我了。
Without her, my days were longer, and my POW wristband was heavier.
没有她，我的日子更长了，我的战俘腕带也更重了。
I stood at the barbed wire boundaries of the admin compound.
我站在行政院落的铁丝网边界处。
I stood watching for a long time, until I finally recognized Monica.
我站在那里看了很长时间，终于认出了莫妮卡。
She was too far away to notice me or hear my voice if I screamed.
如果我尖叫，她距离太远，无法注意到我或听到我的声音。
Although she had somehow lost possession of her truck, I was still hoping to be with her one more time.
尽管她不知何故失去了卡车，但我仍然希望能再和她在一起。
I stood like an animal in a cage, longing for his master.
我像一只关在笼子里的动物一样站着，渴望着主人。
I waited for her every day behind the barbed wire, until I gave up hope that I would ever see her again.
我每天都在铁丝网后面等她，直到我放弃了再次见到她的希望。
I had four more days before my transfer, 100 miles north, deep into the Saudi desert.
距离转移还有四天时间，我将前往以北 100 英里的地方，深入沙特沙漠。
I was particularly anxious to see Monica, because she'd asked for my mother's phone number in Los Angeles and volunteered to call her for me.
我特别渴望见到莫妮卡，因为她问了我母亲在洛杉矶的电话号码，并自愿帮我给她打电话。
After three days of waiting miserably, I was sitting beside one of the lieutenants in the kitchen tent when Monica suddenly appeared and blurted, "I want to talk to Shant, sir.
经过三天的痛苦等待，当我坐在厨房帐篷里的一位中尉旁边时，莫妮卡突然出现并脱口而出：“我想和尚特谈谈，先生。
I called his mom in the United States, and I need to talk to him." The lieutenant gave us permission to go and talk.
我给他在美国的妈妈打了电话，我需要和他谈谈。”中尉允许我们去谈谈。
Monica looked like she'd been crying for hours.
莫妮卡看起来好像已经哭了好几个小时了。
She told me they took her truck to stop her from visiting me.
她告诉我他们拿走了她的卡车来阻止她来看我。
"I feel helpless," she said.
“我感到无助，”她说。
"I can't protect you anymore.
“我无法再保护你了。
They're going to transfer you to the Saudis in three days." She stopped talking and bowed her head, hiding her face from me.
三天后他们会把你转移到沙特。”她不再说话，低下头，把脸藏在我面前。
I felt horrible, but all I wanted to do was reassure her.
我感觉很糟糕，但我只想让她放心。
"Don't worry about me, Monica.
“别担心我，莫妮卡。
I'll be fine." I took out three letters, handed them over to her, and said, "Here.
我不会有事的。”我拿出三封信，递给她，说道：“给。
I wrote you a letter for each day you didn't come."
你没来的每一天我都会给你写一封信。”
She put the letters in her pocket, wiped her tears away, and started to tell me about my mother.
她把信放进口袋，擦干眼泪，开始向我讲述我母亲的事。
She had given my mother the number to fax my proof of [?
她给了我母亲传真我的[？
permanent ?] residency and other supporting documents I would need to be released.
永久？] 居住权和其他证明文件我需要被释放。
Monica and I talked for a long time.
莫妮卡和我聊了很长时间。
Seeing how upset she was, I tried not to talk about my imminent transfer to the Saudis and concentrate on the glimmer of hope that my documents would arrive and somehow save me.
看到她如此沮丧，我尽量不去谈论我即将被调往沙特，而是专注于我的文件会到达并以某种方式拯救我的一线希望。
Monica looked up at me.
莫妮卡抬头看着我。
"Whenever you make it to the States, make sure you call me." And with that, we both said our goodbyes for the night.
“无论你什么时候到美国，一定要给我打电话。”就这样，我们都告别了今晚。
I wonder now if we both knew we were lying a little.
我现在想知道我们是否都知道我们在撒谎。
Thanks to her help, and the help of a few other soldiers, I made it from Saudi Arabia to the United States just two weeks later.
在她和其他几名士兵的帮助下，我仅在两周后就从沙特阿拉伯到达了美国。
Monica came back from the Army two or three months after that.
两三个月后莫妮卡从军队回来了。
When I called her, she was cold.
当我打电话给她时，她很冷。
Then she said she was engaged.
然后她说她订婚了。
The guys from her unit told me later that after I left, she cried all the time.
后来她单位的人告诉我，我走后，她一直哭。
Then she met someone else.
然后她遇到了另一个人。
In a way, we were doomed from the start.
从某种程度上来说，我们从一开始就注定要失败。
But all the hardest things in a relationship-- the fact that I was Iraqi and she was an American, the fact that our countries were at war and I was her enemy, that I was a prisoner and she was one of my guards-- we were able to overcome.
但关系中所有最困难的事情——我是伊拉克人而她是美国人，我们的国家正处于战争状态而我是她的敌人，我是囚犯而她是我的看守之一——我们都能够克服。
What ended up dooming it in the end was the most ordinary thing of all.
最终导致它失败的，是最平常的事情。
She couldn't wait for me.
她等不及我了。
We didn't have control over the war or the politics of our countries.
我们无法控制战争或我们国家的政治。
We didn't have control over where we were born, where we came from or were going to.
我们无法控制自己出生在哪里、来自哪里或将去往哪里。
But the one thing that we had control over, being able to wait for each other, being patient, that's the thing that broke us up.
但我们能控制的一件事，就是能够互相等待、保持耐心，这就是让我们分手的原因。
She didn't love me enough for that.
她还不够爱我。
Shant Kenderian, reading an excerpt from his book, 1001 Nights in Iraq: The Shocking Story of an American Forced to Fight for Saddam Against the Country That He Loves.
尚特·肯德利安（Shant Kenderian）正在阅读他的书《伊拉克一千零一夜：一个美国人被迫为萨达姆对抗他所爱的国家的令人震惊的故事》的摘录。
The book will be out in June from Atria Books.
这本书将于 6 月由 Atria Books 出版。
Shant is happily married.
尚特婚姻幸福。
When he tried to describe his wife in an email, he said that she is truly a gift from God.
当他试图在电子邮件中描述他的妻子时，他说她确实是上帝的礼物。
They have two daughters.
他们有两个女儿。
Coming up, what if fate makes it so that you and your love don't have much to talk about?
接下来，如果命运让你和你的爱人无话可说怎么办？
Are you doomed?
你注定了吗？
Is that enough to doom you?
这足以让你毁灭吗？
David Sedaris weighs in.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 参与其中。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
[MUSIC - "IT'S NOT UNUSUAL" BY WILLIE BOBO]
[音乐 - 威利·波波 (WILLIE BOBO) 的《这并不罕见》]
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose a theme, and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，我们的节目每周都会选择一个主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, for Valentine's Day, Star-crossed Love.
今天的节目是情人节《命运多舛的爱情》。
And we've arrived at Act Two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act Two, The Diary of Mrs. Sam Horrigan.
第二幕，萨姆·霍里根夫人的日记。
Of course, there is no doomed love that ever seems quite as doomed as the doomed love that happens when you're in high school, Catalina Puente put together an account of doomed love in high school.
当然，没有什么注定的爱情比你在高中时发生的注定的爱情更注定了，卡塔利娜·普恩特（Catalina Puente）整理了高中注定的爱情。
She is a Radio Rookie at WNYC Radio in New York City.
她是纽约市 WNYC 电台的电台新秀。
It's a program that trains teenagers how to make radio stories about their lives.
这是一个培训青少年如何制作有关他们生活的广播故事的节目。
A warning to listeners that although Catalina is a teenager, not everything in here might be appropriate for younger kids.
警告听众，尽管卡塔琳娜是青少年，但并非这里的所有内容都适合年幼的孩子。
I've loved Sam Horrigan since I was 13.
我从 13 岁起就喜欢 Sam Horrigan。
I'm 16 now.
我现在16岁了。
He's an actor.
他是一名演员。
You probably don't know him.
你可能不认识他。
He pops up in sitcoms once in a while.
他偶尔会出现在情景喜剧中。
He always plays some type of bully.
他总是扮演某种恶霸的角色。
Hey, Betty Crockers.
嘿，贝蒂妙厨。
Catalina Puente But he's my favorite actor.
Catalina Puente 但他是我最喜欢的演员。
He was in this movie, Brink.
他在这部电影中，布林克。
I watched it over and over and over.
我看了一遍又一遍。
I could spend up to a whole day thinking about him, but normally it's about four hours or so.
我最多可以花一整天的时间来想他，但通常大约是四个小时左右。
Every time I go to the internet, I look up things about him and go onto websites to see what girls have to say about Sam.
每次我上网时，我都会查找有关他的信息，并上网站看看女孩们对萨姆的评价。
I'm writing back to a few stupid girls that write about Sam.
我正在给一些写关于山姆的愚蠢女孩回信。
I wrote to this girl, and she wrote, "When I was 14, I got really drunk at Sam Horrigan's apartment and made out with him.
我写信给这个女孩，她写道：“当我 14 岁的时候，我在 Sam Horrigan 的公寓里喝醉了，然后和他亲热了。
Whoa."
哇哦。”
And then I wrote, "That is the most stupidest lie I have heard since the lie about, the world's going to end.
然后我写道：“这是我听过的最愚蠢的谎言，因为世界末日即将来临。
And if it's true, I hope your tongue boils and burns into ashes.
如果这是真的，我希望你的舌头沸腾并烧成灰烬。
I am Sam's numero uno fan, OK?
我是 Sam 的忠实粉丝，好吗？
Now if I have to go all the way where you live to cut your head off for making such a big lie like that, I would."
现在，如果我必须跑到你住的地方去砍掉你的头，因为你撒了这么大的谎，我会的。”
Then some other girl wrote after me.
然后其他女孩在我后面写了信。
And she wrote, "Dude, chill.
她写道：“伙计，冷静点。
No need to threaten anybody.
没必要威胁任何人。
Sam is cool but no need to get all freaky."
萨姆很酷，但没必要变得怪异。”
My schools are always crowded and loud.
我的学校总是拥挤而喧闹。
When I go up and down the stairs, I always bump into someone I know and say hi and bye.
当我上下楼梯时，我总是会撞到我认识的人并打招呼和再见。
When I arrived at my high school as a freshman, a year and a half ago, I had no idea what was waiting for me there.
一年半前，当我作为一名新生来到高中时，我不知道那里等待着我的是什么。
I was going down the stairs when someone was coming up, and I got such a surprise because that person looked just like Sam.
我正要下楼梯，突然有人上来了，我大吃一惊，因为那个人长得很像萨姆。
The eyebrows, white skin, black hair, same nose, eyes, lips, and the same strong jaw.
眉毛、白皮肤、黑头发、同样的鼻子、眼睛、嘴唇，还有同样强壮的下巴。
That was what scared me the most.
这是最让我害怕的。
I went, "Oh, my God." But it wasn't Sam.
我说：“哦，天啊。”但那不是萨姆。
It was just a regular student.
那只是一个普通的学生。
It wasn't even a boy.
那甚至不是一个男孩。
At the beginning, it just started with the feeling of how shocked I was that she looked like Sam.
一开始，我只是因为她长得像萨姆而感到震惊。
I guess I was too shocked to think I liked her.
我想我太震惊了，没想到我喜欢她。
Before I knew her name, I'd think about her at home, calling her the Sam Girl.
在我知道她的名字之前，我会在家里想起她，称她为“山姆女孩”。
Later on, I found out her real name, but I'm only going to use the nickname that I gave her, which is K-licious, like the gum, Bubblicious.
后来我知道了她的真名，但我只会用我给她起的昵称，K-licious，就像口香糖一样，Bubblicious。
Now I have the letter K on my right thigh.
现在我的右大腿上有字母K。
I made it by rubbing my skin off with a toothpick.
我是用牙签擦掉皮肤制成的。
My older sister Maria thought what I did was crazy.
我的姐姐玛丽亚认为我所做的事情很疯狂。
My sister's 23, like Sam.
我姐姐和 Sam 一样 23 岁。
The three most important people in my life are my sister, Sam, and God.
我生命中最重要的三个人是我的妹妹、萨姆和上帝。
My sister was the main witness to my obsession.
我的姐姐是我痴迷的主要见证人。
It's plain to me how I used to be obsessed with this girl.
我很清楚我曾经是如何迷恋这个女孩的。
Oh, my God.
哦，天啊。
Everything would remind you of her.
一切都会让你想起她。
Even if it had nothing to do with her, you would find something, and then say, "Oh, look.
即使这与她无关，你也会发现一些东西，然后说：“哦，看。
She wears this color.
她穿这个颜色。
Or look, she was wearing these boots." It's ridiculous, ha ha, your friend gave you a gum.
或者看，她穿着这双靴子。”太可笑了，哈哈，你的朋友给了你一块口香糖。
She gave you a gum that belonged to her, and you still have it.
她给了你一块属于她的口香糖，而你仍然拥有它。
You have it there.
你那里有。
And, "Oh, my God.
并且，“哦，天啊。
What's that smell?
那是什么味道？
What was that smell?
那是什么气味？
That was her perfume.
那是她的香水。
I know it.
我知道这。
I know.
我知道。
I'm going to buy it.
我要去买它。
I'm going to buy it."
我要去买它。”
She was the first girl I had different feelings for.
她是第一个让我有不同感觉的女孩。
Like, strong love feelings.
比如，强烈的爱的感觉。
When I heard any love song, especially "My Immortal" by Evanescence, I'd think about her.
当我听到任何情歌，尤其是伊凡塞斯的《My Immortal》时，我都会想起她。
That song makes me so sad.
那首歌让我如此悲伤。
It reminds me of the things we could have done if we were together.
它让我想起如果我们在一起我们可以做的事情。
[MUSIC - "MY IMMORTAL" BY EVANESCENCE]
[音乐 - EvanESCence 的《我的不朽》]
I'd just imagine the lights off, us in the bed, nose to nose, fingertips to fingertips, not saying a word except some "I love you's," playing with each other's hair, breathing each other's body scent.
我想象着关掉灯，我们躺在床上，鼻子对鼻子，指尖对指尖，除了几句“我爱你”之外不说任何一句话，玩弄彼此的头发，呼吸彼此的体味。
We're both happy.
我们都很高兴。
[MUSIC - "MY IMMORTAL" BY EVANESCENCE]
[音乐 - EvanESCence 的《我的不朽》]
I wanted to marry the darn girl.
我想娶那个该死的女孩。
I wanted to live with her.
我想和她住在一起。
I wanted to spend the rest of my sorry life with her.
我想和她一起度过我的余生。
I wanted to die with her.
我想和她一起死。
I wanted to be in heaven with her.
我想和她一起在天堂。
Until K-licious, the only crushes I had for women were women on TV.
在 K-licious 之前，我唯一迷恋的女性就是电视里的女性。
I came out to my parents over her.
我为了她向父母出柜了。
My mom said she didn't care, that she still loved me.
我妈说她不在乎，她仍然爱我。
I only told my dad when I was asking my family about my obsession.
当我向家人询问我的痴迷时，我才告诉了爸爸。
I was scared that'd he'd see me differently, be disgusted or end the conversation.
我害怕他会以不同的方式看待我，感到厌恶或结束谈话。
The day after I told him, we talked about it again.
我告诉他的第二天，我们又讨论了这件事。
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Catalina Puente Something that I told you, that was important.
[说西班牙语] Catalina Puente 我告诉过你的事情很重要。
What was that?
那是什么？
[SPEAKING SPANISH] Translator Yes.
[说西班牙语] 翻译 是的。
That you used to like boys and girls.
原来你曾经喜欢过男孩和女孩。
Yeah, and now.
是的，现在。
Translator And now, too.
译者 现在也是。
And you asked me how I felt about it.
你问我对此有何感受。
And I said that it happens to a lot of people.
我说很多人都会遇到这种情况。
And how do you feel, that I told you that?
我告诉你这些，你感觉如何？
Do you feel different than last night?
你感觉和昨晚有什么不同吗？
I feel good, happy because you have trust in me, to tell your dad everything.
我感觉很好，很高兴，因为你信任我，把一切都告诉你爸爸。
And I am happy with you.
和你在一起我很高兴。
It's easier to show your feelings to a boy, because that's how society is, for a guy and a girl to be together.
向男孩表达你的感受更容易，因为社会就是这样，男孩和女孩在一起。
I mean, a guy can't freak out when a girl tells you she likes you.
我的意思是，当一个女孩告诉你她喜欢你时，一个男人不会惊慌失措。
I heard a rumor that some girl found out that I liked her and was going to curse me out in front of the whole school.
我听说有一个女孩发现我喜欢她，要当着全校的面咒骂我。
I assumed K-licious saw the desk that I wrote her name on.
我以为 K-licious 看到了我写下她名字的桌子。
I wrote that she was hot, and I thought she figured out about me crushing on her.
我写道她很性感，我以为她知道我迷恋她。
I was scared and talked to a school counselor, who arranged a meeting with the two of us.
我很害怕，就和一位学校辅导员交谈，他安排了我们两个人的会面。
I was so terrified, I thought I was going to pee in my pants.
我非常害怕，我以为我要尿裤子了。
She came in, and I asked her if she heard anything bad about me.
她进来了，我问她是否听到了我的坏话。
She looked clueless, and also beautiful.
她看起来毫无头脑，也很漂亮。
After a few seconds, she said, "No, but if I did, I wouldn't remember.
几秒钟后，她说：“不，但如果我记得，我也不会记得。
I don't believe in 'he-said, she-said' rumors." Then I said, "Good, but if you hear anything bad about me, it's not true."
我不相信‘他说、她说’的谣言。”然后我说，“很好，但如果你听到任何关于我的坏话，那就不是真的。”
When I talked to her, my heart beat fast, like, boom-boom, boom-boom, boom-boom.
当我和她说话时，我的心跳得很快，就像，咚咚，咚咚，咚咚。
The obsession was like a second person.
这种痴迷就像第二个人一样。
It felt like I was responsible for two people, my regular self and my obsessive self.
感觉就像我要对两个人负责，一个是正常的自己，一个是强迫性的自己。
In my house, I was unhappy most of the time.
在我家里，我大部分时间都不开心。
The depression was a new feeling.
抑郁是一种新的感觉。
I was sad for myself that I felt this way over a girl who didn't even notice me.
我为自己感到难过，因为我对一个根本没有注意到我的女孩有这种感觉。
I would pray to God almost every night, telling him to send me a sign, that if I wasn't going to get with her, to make me stop liking her, but if I was, to let me keep going.
我几乎每天晚上都会向上帝祈祷，告诉他给我一个信号，如果我不打算和她在一起，让我停止喜欢她，但如果我愿意，让我继续前进。
My sister was getting annoyed.
我姐姐开始生气了。
After I figured out that y'all were never going to get together, and this was going nowhere, I just wanted you to shut up about her, and to move on and leave her alone, because you guys were never going to be together.
当我发现你们永远不会在一起，而且这一切都没有结果后，我只是想让你们闭嘴，别再提她了，继续前进，让她一个人呆着，因为你们永远不会在一起。
I started losing concentration in school, even though K-licious and I had no classes together.
尽管 K-licious 和我没有一起上课，但我在学校开始注意力不集中。
My report cards were disgusting.
我的成绩单很恶心。
The feelings were so strong, they started to hurt.
这种感觉是如此强烈，以至于他们开始受伤。
I used to cry in the bathroom because it was the only door with a lock.
我常常在浴室里哭泣，因为这是唯一有锁的门。
I remember those mean days.
我记得那些卑鄙的日子。
I wrote poems and haikus to clear out my mind.
我写诗和俳句来理清思绪。
I feel like I'm trapped.
我感觉自己被困住了。
Trapped as the walls surround me.
当墙壁包围我时，我被困住了。
I want to get out.
我想出去。
Maria told me, "Don't tell me anything if you don't got her number or have not done anything with her." So what I used to do was, while I was in school, I used to think of a good lie to tell my sister, so that she could be interested in my talking about K-licious, because I had no one else to express myself to.
玛丽亚告诉我，“如果你没有得到她的电话号码或者没有对她做过任何事，就不要告诉我任何事情。”所以我以前做的就是，当我在学校的时候，我常常想一个好的谎言告诉我姐姐，这样她就会对我谈论K-licious感兴趣，因为我没有其他人可以表达自己的意思。
Almost every day, I would come home with a story.
几乎每天，我都会带着故事回家。
I felt scared to tell Maria about the lies, because she might lose trust in me.
我害怕告诉玛丽亚这些谎言，因为她可能会失去对我的信任。
I decided to confess.
我决定坦白。
Do you remember when I used to come from school and I used to tell you stuff, like what happened to me today?
你还记得我以前从学校回来时常常告诉你一些事情，比如今天发生在我身上的事情吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Catalina Puente Can you tell me one of the stories that you remember?
Catalina Puente 你能告诉我你记得的一个故事吗？
"Oh, today, guess what happened to me?
“哦，今天，你猜我发生了什么事？
I don't have my ID."
我没有身份证。”
I told Maria that K-licious stole my high school ID.
我告诉玛丽亚，K-licious 偷了我的高中身份证。
"And she said, oh, if you want it back, you'd better come to school, because you never come to school, so I can't wait to go back tomorrow.
“她说，哦，如果你想要回来，你最好来学校，因为你从来不来学校，所以我迫不及待地想明天回去。
She's going to give me back my ID.
她会把我的身份证还给我。
Oh, my God, she's holding it.
哦，天哪，她拿着它。
She put it in her back butt pocket.
她把它放在屁股后面的口袋里。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
When she gives it back to me, it's going to be from her pocket.
当她把它还给我时，它会从她的口袋里拿出来。
Oh, my God."
哦，天哪。”
We're the stupidest sisters in the world.
我们是世界上最愚蠢的姐妹。
I just want to know.
我只是想知道。
Maria I'm always in a good mood.
玛丽亚 我总是心情很好。
I need to tell you something.
我需要告诉你一些事情。
Maria What you did?
玛丽亚 你做了什么？
You have another story.
你还有另一个故事。
Catalina Puente No. Like half of them that I said--
Catalina Puente 不。就像我说的一半——
--were fake.
——都是假的。
Catalina Puente How you came up with that?
Catalina Puente 你是怎么想到这个的？
Why?
为什么？
Catalina Puente Because you started saying, "I don't want to hear if it's nothing good." So that's why.
Catalina Puente 因为你开始说，“我不想听它是否没什么好处。”所以这就是原因。
I had nobody else to express myself to.
我没有其他人可以表达自己的想法。
So I used to lie, if I could talk to you.
所以如果我能和你说话，我就会撒谎。
I know.
我知道。
Maria Why would you do something like that?
玛丽亚 你为什么要做那样的事？
I'm not mad, but I'm just saying, that's so weird.
我没有生气，但我只是想说，这太奇怪了。
Why you did that?
你为什么这么做？
You didn't have to.
你不必这样做。
I was surprised Maria didn't think it was such a big deal.
我很惊讶玛丽亚并不认为这有什么大不了的。
I think why she didn't get mad with my confession was because she probably thought it was more stupid.
我想她为什么没有因为我的坦白而生气，是因为她可能认为这更愚蠢。
Every time we had a school break, I'd think about how to slow down my obsession.
每次学校放假的时候，我都会思考如何减缓我的痴迷。
Winter break was so depressing because I didn't see her, but then I started thinking about her less.
寒假很郁闷，因为我没见到她，但后来我开始少想她了。
But when I got back to school, it all fell on top of me again.
但当我回到学校时，这一切又落在了我的头上。
Finally, the summer came, and there was a rumor that she might move, so I might never see her again.
终于，夏天来了，有传言说她可能会搬家，所以我可能再也见不到她了。
I decided to end the obsession.
我决定结束这种痴迷。
I felt like an old lady whose husband just died after 50 years together.
我感觉自己就像一位老太太，丈夫在共同生活了 50 年后刚刚去世。
I tried not thinking about her, and I punished myself a little by not giving myself pleasure, like listening to songs and reading things that would remind me of her.
我试着不去想她，并通过不给自己带来快乐来惩罚自己，比如听歌和读能让我想起她的东西。
Sam helped me a lot, too.
萨姆也给了我很多帮助。
I would watch Sam all the time.
我会一直看着萨姆。
I kept watching the episode of the sitcom, Still Standing , that Sam starred in.
我一直在看山姆主演的情景喜剧《Still Standing》。
"Because he's a butler, dude.
“因为他是管家，伙计。
He does anything we tell him to.
他会做我们告诉他做的任何事情。
He's our designated driver, he goes on burger runs, he does our homework."
他是我们指定的司机，他去跑汉堡，他做我们的作业。”
Babysits my son.
照顾我的儿子。
Catalina Puente Wow, buddy.
卡塔利娜·普恩特 哇，伙计。
Even though K-licious looks like him, it was a whole different kind of love than what I had for Sam.
尽管 K-licious 看起来很像他，但这与我对 Sam 的爱完全不同。
Plus, it started with her because I know I'm not going to get with Sam.
另外，一切都是从她开始的，因为我知道我不会和萨姆在一起。
I miss K-licious, but by the end of the summer, my obsession was leaving.
我想念 K-licious，但到了夏末，我的痴迷消失了。
On the bus on the first day back, I was nervous that if she was there, I might fall in love with her again.
第一天回来的公交车上，我很紧张，担心如果她在那里，我可能会再次爱上她。
When I got to school, I saw her, but I didn't react like I thought I would.
当我到达学校时，我看到了她，但我并没有像我想象的那样做出反应。
I have classes with her now, unlike before when I just wished I did.
我现在和她一起上课，不像以前我只是希望能和她一起上课。
I'd get uptight for the first 10 minutes, but then I'd just relax and forget that she's in the class.
前 10 分钟我会感到紧张，但随后我就会放松下来，忘记她在课堂上。
If that was me last year, I don't know what I would do.
如果是去年的我，我不知道自己会做什么。
I know I wouldn't be relaxed.
我知道我不会放松。
Maria asked me if I was completely over K-licious.
玛丽亚问我是否完全厌倦了 K-licious。
I stood speechless for a while.
我站了一会儿说不出话来。
I wanted to say that the obsession was gone, but decided to answer as honest as I could, because I didn't want Maria to doubt what I was saying.
我想说的是迷恋已经消失了，但决定尽可能诚实地回答，因为我不想让玛丽亚怀疑我说的话。
I have to admit that I am 99% over her.
我不得不承认我比她好99%。
But there's 1% that I still, I don't know.
但还有 1% 我仍然不知道。
It's scary, because I don't want to think about her, but sometimes I just do.
这很可怕，因为我不想去想她，但有时我就是这么做。
I still like K-licious, but not so, so in love.
我还是喜欢K-licious，但不是那么喜欢。
I have a piece of love in my heart, that my heart won't let me erase.
我心里有一份爱，我的心不让我抹去。
Until I have a real relationship, maybe I'm not going to be completely over her.
在我建立真正的关系之前，也许我不会完全忘记她。
For This American Life , this is Catalina Puente, aka Mrs. Sam Horrigan.
在《美国生活》中，我是卡特琳娜·普恩特，又名萨姆·霍里根夫人。
[MUSIC - "MY IMMORTAL" BY EVANESCENCE]
[音乐 - EvanESCence 的《我的不朽》]
Catalina Puente in New York with WNYC's Radio Rookies, whose story was produced by Serena Patel with assistance from Miguel Macias, Wayne Schulmister, and Karen Michel.
Catalina Puente 在纽约与 WNYC 的 Radio Rookies 合作，其故事由 Serena Patel 制作，并得到 Miguel Macias、Wayne Schulmister 和 Karen Michel 的协助。
Other stories by Radio Rookies at www.radiorookies.org.
Radio Rookies 的其他故事，请访问 www.radiorookies.org。
Catalina's story was supported by Con Edison, the Fred L.
卡塔琳娜的故事得到了联合爱迪生公司 Fred L.
Emerson Foundation, the National Endowment for the Arts, Open Society Institute's Youth Initiatives program, the Helena Rubinstein Foundation, the Surdna Foundation, Rockefeller Philanthropy Advisors, the New York Times Company Foundation, and Time Warner.
艾默生基金会、国家艺术基金会、开放社会研究所青年倡议计划、海伦娜·鲁宾斯坦基金会、苏德纳基金会、洛克菲勒慈善顾问、纽约时报公司基金会和时代华纳。
Act Three.
第三幕。
So a Squirrel and a Chipmunk Walk Into a Bar.
一只松鼠和一只花栗鼠走进了一家酒吧。
We end our program today with this fable of doomed love from David Sedaris.
我们以大卫·塞达里斯的这则注定爱情的寓言结束今天的节目。
The squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about.
松鼠和花栗鼠已经约会了两周，但他们却无话可说。
Acorns, parasites, the inevitable approach of autumn, these subjects had been covered within their first hour.
橡子、寄生虫、不可避免的秋天，这些主题在第一个小时内就被涵盖了。
And so, breathlessly, their faces had flushed.
于是，他们气喘吁吁，脸色通红。
Twice they had held long conversations about dogs, each declaring their across-the-board hatred of them, and speculating on what life might be like were someone to put a bowl of food in front of them two times a day.
他们曾两次就狗进行了长时间的交谈，每个人都宣称对狗有全面的仇恨，并猜测如果有人每天两次把一碗食物放在他们面前，生活会是什么样子。
"They're spoiled rotten, is what it comes down to," the chipmunk had said.
“归根结底，它们都被宠坏了，腐烂了，”花栗鼠说道。
And the squirrel had placed his paw over hers, saying, "That's it, exactly.
松鼠把他的爪子放在她的爪子上，说道：“正是这样。
Finally, someone who really gets it."
终于，有人真正明白了。”
Friends had warned them that their romance could not possibly work out.
朋友们警告他们，他们的恋情不可能成功。
And such moments convinced them that these naysayers were not just wrong, but jealous.
这些时刻让他们相信，这些反对者不仅是错误的，而且是嫉妒的。
"They'll never have what we do," the squirrel would say.
“他们永远不会拥有我们所做的一切，”松鼠会说。
And then the two of them would sit quietly, hoping for a flash flood or a rifle report, something, anything that might generate a conversation.
然后他们两个会安静地坐着，希望能听到山洪爆发或步枪报告，或者任何可能引发对话的东西。
They were out one night at a little bar run by a couple of owls when, following a long silence, the squirrel slapped his palm against the table top.
一天晚上，他们在一家由几只猫头鹰经营的小酒吧里，经过长时间的沉默，松鼠用手掌拍打着桌面。
"You know what I like?" he said.
“你知道我喜欢什么吗？”他说。
"I like jazz."
“我喜欢爵士乐。”
"I didn't know that," the chipmunk said.
“我不知道，”花栗鼠说。
"My goodness.
“我的天啊。
Jazz." She had no idea what jazz was, but worried that asking would make her sound stupid and unworthy of his affections.
爵士乐。”她不知道爵士乐是什么，但担心这样问会让她听起来很愚蠢，不值得他的爱。
"What kind, exactly?" she asked, hoping his answer might narrow things down a bit.
“具体是哪种？”她问道，希望他的回答能缩小范围。
"Well, all kinds really," he told her, "especially the earlier stuff."
“嗯，确实各种各样，”他告诉她，“尤其是早期的东西。”
"Me too," she said.
“我也是，”她说。
And when he asked her why, she told him that the later stuff was just a little too late for her tastes, almost like it was overripe or something, you know what I mean?
当他问她为什么时，她告诉他后来的东西对她的口味来说有点太晚了，几乎就像是太熟了或者什么的，你知道我的意思吗？
And for the third time since she had known him, the squirrel reached across the table and took her paw.
自从她认识他以来，这是第三次，松鼠把手伸过桌子，抓住了她的爪子。
On returning home that evening, the chipmunk woke her older sister, with whom she shared a room.
那天晚上回到家后，花栗鼠叫醒了与她同住一个房间的姐姐。
"Listen," she whispered.
“听着，”她低声说。
"I need you to explain something.
“我需要你解释一件事。
What's jazz?"
什么是爵士乐？”
"Why are you asking me?" the sister said.
“你为什么问我？”姐姐说。
"So you don't know either?" the chipmunk asked.
“所以你也不知道？”花栗鼠问道。
"I didn't say I didn't know," the sister said.
“我没说我不知道，”姐姐说。
"I asked you why you're asking.
“我问你为什么这么问。
Does this have anything to do with that squirrel?"
这和那只松鼠有什么关系吗？”
"Well, I'm telling," the sister announced.
“好吧，我告诉你，”姐姐宣布。
"First thing tomorrow morning, because this has gone on long enough." She punched at her pillow of moss, then repositioned it beneath their head.
“明天早上的第一件事，因为这已经持续了足够长的时间了。”她敲击自己的苔藓枕头，然后将其重新放在他们的头下。
"I warned you weeks ago that this wouldn't work out.
“我几周前就警告过你，这不会成功。
And now you've got the whole house in an uproar, waltzing home in the middle of the night, waking me up with your dirty little secrets.
现在你让整个房子一片喧闹，半夜跳着华尔兹的家，用你肮脏的小秘密把我吵醒。
Jazz indeed.
确实是爵士乐。
You just wait until Mother hears about this."
你就等着妈妈知道这件事吧。”
The chipmunk lay awake that night, imagining the unpleasantness that was bound to take place the following morning.
那天晚上，花栗鼠彻夜未眠，想象着第二天早上必然会发生的不愉快的事情。
What if jazz was squirrel slang for something terrible, like anal intercourse?
如果爵士乐是松鼠俚语中指可怕的事情（比如肛交）怎么办？
"Oh, I like it too," she'd said, and so eagerly.
“哦，我也喜欢它，”她说道，语气如此热切。
Then again, it could just be mildly terrible, something along the lines of Communism or fortune-telling, subjects that were talked about but hardly ever practiced.
话又说回来，它可能只是有点可怕，类似于共产主义或算命，这些话题被谈论但很少实践。
Just as she thought she'd calmed herself down, a new possibility would enter her mind, each one more terrible than the last.
正当她以为自己已经平静下来时，一种新的可能性出现在她的脑海中，每一个都比上一个更可怕。
Jazz was a maggot-infested flesh of a dead body.
爵士乐是一具长满蛆虫的尸体。
The ochre crust on an infected eye.
受感染眼睛上的赭色痂皮。
Another word for ritual suicide.
仪式性自杀的另一种说法。
And she had claimed to like it.
她声称喜欢它。
Years later, when she could put it all in perspective, she'd realized that she'd never really trusted the squirrel.
多年后，当她能够正确看待这一切时，她意识到自己从未真正信任过这只松鼠。
How else to explain all those terrible possibilities?
否则如何解释所有这些可怕的可能性呢？
Had he been another chipmunk, even a tough one, she'd have assumed that jazz was something familiar, a kind of root, say, or maybe a hairstyle.
如果他是另一只花栗鼠，即使是一只坚强的花栗鼠，她也会认为爵士乐是一种熟悉的东西，一种根，比如说，或者可能是一种发型。
Of course, her sister hadn't helped any.
当然，她的姐姐并没有提供任何帮助。
None of her family had.
她的家人都没有。
"It's not that I have anything against squirrels, per se," her mother had said.
“这并不是说我对松鼠有任何反对意见，”她的母亲说道。
"It's just that this one-- well, I don't like him." When pressed for details, she'd mentioned his fingernails, which were a little too long for her tastes.
“只是这个——呃，我不喜欢他。”当被追问细节时，她提到了他的指甲，这对她的口味来说有点太长了。
"A sure sign of vanity," she warned.
“这是虚荣心的明显表现，”她警告说。
"And then there's this jazz business."
“还有爵士乐生意。”
That was what did it.
就是这么做的。
Following a sleepless night, the chipmunk's mother had forced her to break it off.
经过一个不眠之夜后，花栗鼠的妈妈强迫她把它拆掉。
"Well, the squirrel had sighed.
“嗯，松鼠叹了口气。
"I guess that's that."
“我想就是这样。”
"I guess it is," the chipmunk said.
“我想是的，”花栗鼠说。
He headed downriver a few days later, and she never saw him or spoke to him again.
几天后，他顺流而下，她再也没有见过他，也没有再和他说过话。
"It's no great loss," her sister said.
“这并不是什么大损失，”她姐姐说。
"No girl should be subjected to language like that, especially from the likes of him."
“任何女孩都不应该遭受这样的语言，尤其是来自他这样的人。”
Eventually, the chipmunk met someone else, and after she had safely married, her mother speculated that perhaps Jazz was a branch of medicine, something like chiropractic therapy that wasn't quite legitimate.
最终，花栗鼠遇到了其他人，在她安全结婚后，她的母亲推测爵士乐可能是医学的一个分支，类似于脊椎按摩疗法，但并不完全合法。
Her sister said, no. It was more likely a jig.
她姐姐说，没有。这更可能是一种夹具。
And then she pushed herself back from the table and kicked her chubby legs into the air.
然后她从桌子上站起来，把胖胖的腿踢向空中。
"Oh, you," her mother said.
“哦，你，”她妈妈说。
"That's a can-can." And then she joined in and gave a few kicks of her own.
“那是康康舞。”然后她也加入进来，也踢了几脚。
This stuck in the squirrel's mind, for she never knew her mother could identify a dance step, or anything associated with fun.
这件事深深地印在了松鼠的脑海里，因为她从来不知道她的妈妈能够识别出舞步，或者任何与乐趣相关的东西。
It was the way her own children would eventually think of her: dull, strict, chained to the past.
这就是她自己的孩子最终对她的看法：迟钝、严格、被过去束缚。
She had boys, all of them healthy and only one prone to trouble.
她有几个男孩，他们都很健康，只有一个容易出麻烦。
He had a habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but his heart was good, and the chipmunk knew he would eventually straighten himself out.
他有在错误的时间出现在错误的地点的习惯，但他的心是善良的，花栗鼠知道他最终会改正自己的错误。
Her husband thought so too, and died knowing that he had been correct.
她的丈夫也这么认为，直到临死时才知道自己是对的。
A month or two after he'd passed on, she asked this son what Jazz was, and when he told her it was a kind of music, she knew immediately that he was telling the truth.
他去世后一两个月，她问儿子爵士乐是什么，当他告诉她这是一种音乐时，她立即知道他说的是实话。
"Well, if it's played badly," he said.
“好吧，如果打得不好的话，”他说。
"Otherwise, it's really quite pleasant."
“不然的话，还真是挺愉快的。”
"God, no," he said.
“上帝，不，”他说。
"Whoever gave you that idea?"
“是谁给你提出这个主意的？”
The chipmunk stroked her brown and white muzzle.
花栗鼠抚摸着她棕色和白色的口鼻。
"Nobody," she said.
“没有人，”她说。
"I was just guessing."
“我只是猜测。”
When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about.
当花栗鼠的口鼻变得更白而不是棕色时，她忘记了她和松鼠没有什么可谈的。
She forgot the definition of Jazz as well, and came to think of it as every beautiful thing she had ever failed to appreciate: the taste of warm rain, the smell of a baby, the din of a swollen river rushing past her tree and onward to infinity.
她也忘记了爵士乐的定义，并开始认为它是她从未欣赏过的每一种美丽的事物：温暖的雨水的味道，婴儿的气味，汹涌的河流冲过她的树并流向无限的喧嚣。
David Sedaris' most recent book is Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 的最新著作是《用灯芯绒和牛仔布装扮你的家人》。
He's also the editor of an anthology of favorite short stories called Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules .
他还是一本深受人们喜爱的短篇小说选集《在大力神雕像前玩耍的孩子们》的编辑。
Our program was produced today by Jane Feltes and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Diane Cook, Sarah Koenig, Amy O'Leary, and Lisa Pollak.
今天我们的节目由 Jane Feltes 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Diane Cook、Sarah Koenig、Amy O'Leary 和 Lisa Pollak 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Elizabeth Meister runs our website.
伊丽莎白·梅斯特 (Elizabeth Meister) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Sam Hallgren, Thea Chaloner, Seth Lind, and Tommy Andres.
Sam Hallgren、Thea Chaloner、Seth Lind 和 Tommy Andres 为制作提供了帮助。
Music help from Jessica Hopper.
杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGMENTS] Our website, where you can sign up for our free, our absolutely free weekly podcast, or listen to all of our old shows by audio streaming, www.thisamericanlife.org.
[鸣谢] 我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中注册我们免费的、绝对免费的每周播客，或通过音频流收听我们所有的旧节目。
Or for the podcast, you can go to the iTunes store.
或者，对于播客，您可以访问 iTunes 商店。
This week on the website, there's information about our upcoming six-city national tour.
本周在网站上，有关于我们即将进行的六城市全国巡演的信息。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program provided by Mr. Torey Malatia, who does not understand why we have so many women on our staff.
[资金来源] Torey Malatia 先生对我们的计划进行了 WBEZ 管理监督，他不明白为什么我们的员工中有这么多女性。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories on This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass)，下周我会带来更多关于《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。