306: Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #306 | April 19, 2024 306: Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 306 集 | 2024 年 4 月 19 日 306：当时看来是个好主意 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass Paul's a cop in New York-- Paul Bacon.
序言： 序言 Ira Glass 保罗是纽约的一名警察——保罗·培根。
Officer Bacon.
培根警官。
No jokes, please.
请不要开玩笑。
And one night he did his regular 4:00 to midnight shift, and then he was told that they needed him to cover a second shift in another part of the city.
一天晚上，他按常规从 4:00 轮班到半夜，然后他被告知，他们需要他在城市的另一个地方进行第二次轮班。
In a little security booth.
在一个小保安亭里。
In an area they were protecting from terrorists, basically.
基本上，他们正在保护一个地区免受恐怖分子的侵害。
At 2:00 AM the other officer who's working in this booth with him takes a lunch break.
凌晨 2:00，与他一起在这个摊位工作的另一位官员正在午休。
Goes and takes a nap.
去小憩一下。
And then at 3:00 AM it's Paul's turn for a break.
然后凌晨 3:00 轮到 Paul 休息了。
He's exhausted.
他已经筋疲力尽了。
Remember, he had already worked a full shift as a patrolman.
请记住，他已经作为巡逻员工作了一整班。
And he decides that he's also going to take a nap.
他决定也去小睡一下。
So he gets into his patrol car.
于是他上了他的巡逻车。
And he drives it out into this parking lot a little ways away from the security booth.
他把车开进离保安亭不远的停车场。
I parked my car in the one available spot thinking, no, this is a parking lot.
我把车停在一个可用的停车位上，心想，不，这是一个停车场。
Nobody's going to be coming by here.
没有人会经过这里。
It's going to be fine.
一切都会好起来的。
And so I turned off the ignition and just sat there.
于是我关掉了点火装置，坐在那里。
And I realized I can't-- I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep sitting up.
我意识到我不能——我认为我无法坐着睡着。
So I got out of the driver's seat, got in back, and closed the door.
于是我从驾驶座上下来，坐进后排，关上车门。
And I was asleep within seconds.
几秒钟之内我就睡着了。
I had set my alarm watch to go off so that I would get up in plenty of time to go back on post so my partner wouldn't worry where I was.
我把闹钟设置为响，这样我就有足够的时间起床返回岗位，这样我的搭档就不会担心我在哪里。
And everything would be fine.
一切都会好起来的。
It would be smooth.
会很顺利。
But I woke up a few seconds before my alarm with this terrible realization, which is that I was locked in the back.
但我在闹钟响起前几秒钟醒来，意识到我被锁在后面了。
I just-- I was like-- [GASPING] I'm trapped.
我只是——我就像——[喘气]我被困住了。
That was my first thought.
这是我的第一个想法。
Because you don't get out of the back of a police car.
因为你不会从警车后部出来。
The back of the police car is for prisoners.
警车的后部是供囚犯使用的。
And you know, I never really thought about it, that a police car is really just like a rolling jail cell.
你知道，我从来没有真正想过，警车实际上就像一个滚动的牢房。
That's exactly right.
完全正确。
And also, it's hermetically sealed.
而且，它是密封的。
And remember, it was very cold that night.
请记住，那天晚上非常冷。
It was February.
那是二月。
And I had closed the grating to the front.
我已经关闭了前面的格栅。
And the windows were up, so it was really-- you could just feel there was less oxygen in the air.
窗户开着，所以真的——你能感觉到空气中的氧气减少了。
And also, all the windows were all fogged up, so I could barely see out.
而且，所有的窗户都被雾气笼罩了，所以我几乎看不到外面。
And I started to panic.
我开始恐慌。
I reached for both of the door handles.
我伸手去够两个门把手。
Neither of them worked.
他们都没有工作。
And so I rolled over on my side, and I pounded against the door as hard as I could with both my feet.
于是我翻身侧身，用双脚用尽全身力气敲门。
And there's just no way out of this car.
而且根本没有办法离开这辆车。
It's dark.
天黑了。
It's cold.
是冷的。
But he's only 60 feet away from the security booth where his partner is.
但他距离他的搭档所在的保安亭只有 60 英尺。
And he's right next to a sidewalk.
他就在人行道旁边。
All he needs is for somebody to see him, come over, and lift the door handle from the outside.
他所需要的只是有人看到他，过来并从外面拉起门把手。
And he gets lucky.
他很幸运。
A Pepsi truck parks right on the street right in front of him.
一辆百事可乐卡车停在他面前的街道上。
He waves frantically at the driver.
他疯狂地向司机挥手。
He pounds on the glass.
他敲击玻璃。
He can see the driver peering in at him.
他可以看到司机正盯着他看。
And then the driver flees.
然后司机逃跑了。
He flees.
他逃跑了。
Who is going to help some maniac trapped in the back of a police car?
谁来帮助一个被困在警车后座的疯子？
My next thought was, well, maybe somebody else will come by.
我的下一个想法是，好吧，也许会有其他人过来。
And so I wrote-- in the steam on the window I wrote the word "help." And I did it backwards.
于是我在窗户上的蒸汽中写下了“帮助”这个词。我是倒着做的。
But then I got to thinking, well, that's not going to be any more convincing.
但后来我开始想，好吧，这不会更有说服力。
So I wrote-- underneath help I wrote, "I'm a cop." But unfortunately, nobody came by to read my message.
所以我在帮助下写道：“我是一名警察。”但不幸的是，没有人来看我的消息。
His police radio's in the front seat, out of reach.
他的警用无线电在前排座位上，够不到的。
And 3:00 in the morning, exhausted, panicked, it takes him 25 minutes to remember that he is carrying a cell phone-- a cell phone he says he almost never uses.
凌晨 3:00，他精疲力竭、惊慌失措，花了 25 分钟才想起自己带着一部手机——他说他几乎从不使用这部手机。
But here's the problem.
但问题就在这里。
He's working with an officer that he's never met before in a place he's never been before.
他正在与一位他以前从未见过的官员在一个他以前从未去过的地方一起工作。
He has no idea what the phone number is to that little booth just 60 feet away from his parked car-- that little booth where right now, his partner is expecting him back on post, wondering where he is.
他不知道距离他停放的汽车仅 60 英尺的那个小电话亭的电话号码是什么——现在，他的搭档正在那个小电话亭等待他回到岗位，想知道他在哪里。
His first great idea of the night was to take a nap.
当晚他的第一个好主意就是小睡一会儿。
Now he had a second great idea.
现在他有了第二个好主意。
I did what I thought I would never have to do ever in my life.
我做了我认为我一生中永远不必做的事情。
And that is to call 911 as a cop.
那就是作为警察拨打 911。
When the operator came on very shortly, she says, well, don't worry.
接线员很快就过来了，她说，好吧，别担心。
We'll put this through to your central dispatcher.
我们会将其发送给您的中央调度员。
And she was about to get off the phone with me.
她正要和我挂断电话。
And I said, well, wait.
我说，好吧，等等。
There's this very, very important thing to tell the dispatcher.
有一件非常非常重要的事情要告诉调度员。
And that is that this needs to go over the radio as a non-emergency.
也就是说，这需要作为非紧急情况通过无线电进行传达。
Because any time that a cop requests help and it's not qualified in any way, it sends out the cavalry.
因为每当警察请求帮助而其在任何方面都不合格时，它就会派出骑兵。
Everybody drops everything they're doing and comes very quickly to that location.
每个人都放下手中的一切，很快就来到了那个地方。
And that's a dangerous situation, and all because I made this stupid mistake.
这是一个危险的情况，而这一切都是因为我犯了这个愚蠢的错误。
So I said, please, make sure that you specify it's a non-emergency.
所以我说，请确保您指定这不是紧急情况。
I swear, within a minute, lights and sirens coming from all directions.
我发誓，不到一分钟，灯光和警报器就会从四面八方传来。
Now, part of the chaos is coming from the fact that Paul wasn't really exactly sure where he was.
现在，混乱的部分原因在于保罗并不确定自己在哪里。
Remember, this is not his regular precinct, so cops are zooming around, just trying to find him.
请记住，这不是他的常驻区域，因此警察四处搜寻，只是想找到他。
This seems like way too much commotion even for that.
即使如此，这似乎也太过骚动了。
Something has gone very, very wrong.
事情已经变得非常非常错误了。
So Paul dials 911 again.
于是保罗再次拨打了 911。
They tell him that his call had gone out as a 1013.
他们告诉他，他拨打的电话是 1013。
1013.
1013.
Officer down.
官下。
Like, as if a cop was being beaten, or had just been shot.
就像一个警察被殴打，或者刚刚被枪杀一样。
And that's why everybody was going all over the place.
这就是为什么每个人都到处走动。
My call had basically woken up the entire midnight squad.
我的电话基本上吵醒了整个午夜小分队。
Probably half that squad was also sleeping, and now I had gotten everybody's blood going.
大概有一半的队员也在睡觉，现在我已经让每个人都热血沸腾了。
So my partner up in the booth finally got up and started walking down into the parking lot.
所以我在摊位上的伙伴终于站了起来，开始走进停车场。
And I saw him coming.
我看到他来了。
And I took my flashlight off my belt.
我把手电筒从腰带上取下来。
And I'm shaking my flashlight like crazy, just to show him that this is not a headlight of some car.
我疯狂地摇动我的手电筒，只是为了让他知道这不是某辆车的车头灯。
This is a person being very creative, and very emphatic about letting you know that this is somebody stuck.
这是一个非常有创造力的人，并且非常强调让你知道这是一个被困住的人。
And he sees me from about 50 yards away.
他在大约 50 码外就看到了我。
And he takes his flashlight off and jingles it back at me, and then starts to walk away.
他取下手电筒，叮叮当当地对着我，然后开始走开。
He's just thinking I'm having a good time, you know?
他只是觉得我玩得很开心，你知道吗？
Like, ha ha ha.
喜欢，哈哈哈。
He was walking away.
他正走开。
So I had to rap really hard on my window again.
所以我不得不再次用力敲打窗户。
And I rapped so hard that I cut my knuckles, but he got the point.
我敲得太用力，以至于割伤了指关节，但他明白了。
And he came down to my car, just lifted the door handle.
他来到我的车旁，只是抬起了门把手。
It took him two seconds to let me out.
他花了两秒钟才放我出去。
So he's free, and they call off the cavalry.
所以他自由了，他们叫走了骑兵。
Nobody in his regular precinct ever found out about it.
他的管辖区里没有人知道这件事。
Today on our radio show we bring you stories like this one.
今天，我们在广播节目中为您带来这样的故事。
Stories that begin with a bright idea-- like, for instance, you're going to park your car 60 feet from your partner, climb in, and take a nap.
故事以一个好主意开始——例如，你要把车停在距离你的伴侣 60 英尺的地方，爬进去小睡一会儿。
And then things happen.
然后事情就发生了。
More than you bargained for, more than you wanted.
超出您的讨价还价，超出您的想要。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week we bring you a bunch of stories organized around a single thought.
每周我们都会为您带来一堆围绕一个想法组织的故事。
And this week, that thought is "It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time." Our show in four acts today, each of which starts off with great hope and a shiny new idea.
本周，这个想法是“这在当时看来是个好主意”。我们今天的演出分为四幕，每一幕都以巨大的希望和闪亮的新想法开始。
Act One, Luck of the Irish.
第一幕，爱尔兰人的幸运。
In that act, a bunch of people become very convinced that with one simple purchase, they can change their lives forever.
在这一行动中，一群人变得非常相信，只需一次简单的购买，他们就可以永远改变他们的生活。
Act Two, Taxation Without Inebriation.
第二幕，不醉不归地征税。
In that act, how to make a decision to hire somebody who absolutely, positively is going to do you no good-- and you can tell they're going to do you no good-- and why you may never fire that person.
在那一幕中，如何决定雇用一个绝对、肯定不会给你带来好处的人——而且你可以看出他们不会给你带来好处——以及为什么你永远不会解雇那个人。
Act Three, Bad Morning America.
第三幕，《糟糕的美国早晨》。
Davy Rothbart goes onto morning television and does a little experiment on his hosts.
戴维·罗斯巴特 (Davy Rothbart) 上了早间电视节目，在他的主持人身上做了一个小实验。
Act Four, The Function of the Heart.
第四幕，心脏的功能。
An 11-year-old girl comes up with a simple scheme on how she can finally get to really know her dad, her dad who is not so keen on being known.
一个 11 岁的女孩想出了一个简单的计划，让她最终能够真正了解她的父亲，她的父亲并不那么热衷于被人认识。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Luck of the Irish.
第一幕，爱尔兰人的幸运。
This first story takes place far from the New York police force.
第一个故事发生在远离纽约警察局的地方。
This is a very different kind of job, maybe about as different as you can get.
这是一种非常不同的工作，也许是你能得到的最不同的工作。
Well, I was in Riverdance.
嗯，我在《大河之舞》里。
But I don't actually dance.
但我其实不会跳舞。
I just sing.
我只是唱歌。
There's a lead female singer.
有一位女主唱。
It must be a terrible thing to be the singer in Riverdance because nobody actually-- it's all about the dancing, right?
成为《大河之舞》中的歌手一定是一件可怕的事情，因为实际上没有人——一切都与舞蹈有关，对吧？
No, exactly.
不，确切地说。
And every now and then, someone will say something like, it's called Riverdance, not Riversing.
时不时地，有人会说，它叫《大河之舞》，而不是《大河之歌》。
Mr. And Mrs. America, please meet Katie Else.
美国先生和夫人，请见见凯蒂·埃尔斯。
Katie was touring with Riverdance, doing eight shows a week, working every day.
凯蒂随《大河之舞》巡演，每周演出八场，每天都在工作。
Any day that they weren't on stage, they would be traveling.
只要他们不在舞台上，他们就会去旅行。
70 people in the company.
公司现有70人。
That's four singers, a band, assorted tech guys and support people, and 40-- yes, 40-- dancers doing that Irish stepdancing thing they do.
其中包括四名歌手、一支乐队、各种技术人员和支持人员，以及 40 名（是的，40 名）舞者，他们正在跳爱尔兰踢踏舞。
I don't even know if it's called stepdancing.
我什至不知道这是否叫踏步舞。
You know what I'm talking about here?
你知道我在这里说什么吗？
The Michael Flatley-- of course you do, because you've seen television.
迈克尔·弗拉特利——你当然知道，因为你看过电视。
Anyway, two months into the tour, a time when working every day, they're getting kind of tired with the monotony of working every day.
不管怎样，巡演两个月了，每天都在工作，他们对每天工作的单调感到有点厌倦了。
And they needed some excitement.
他们需要一些兴奋。
And this idea spread through the company like wildfire.
这个想法像野火一样在公司传播开来。
I think it was the idea of the lead dancer and dance captain.
我认为这是领舞和领舞的主意。
He has this ridiculous luck with raffles.
他的抽奖运气真是可笑。
We have a raffle every Friday, and he has won it like five times.
我们每个星期五都有抽奖活动，他已经赢了五次了。
And he just has ridiculous luck with this.
而他在这方面的运气真是可笑。
And he just happened to notice, on the internet I guess, that Mega-Millions had gotten up to like $360 million or something like that.
我猜他只是碰巧在互联网上注意到百万富翁已经达到了 3.6 亿美元或类似的数字。
So he suggested that we all do a syndicate ticket.
所以他建议我们都办一张联合票。
It's like you pool your money.
就好像你把钱集中起来一样。
So $5 gets five tickets.
所以 5 美元可以买五张票。
But everybody has a share in all the tickets.
但每个人都可以分享所有门票。
Not to complicate it, right?
不要让事情复杂化，对吧？
They're playing the lottery.
他们在玩彩票。
So the company's physical therapist, who's a guy named Scott, he is the one who organized the whole thing and collected everybody's money.
公司的物理治疗师，一个名叫斯科特的人，他是组织整个事情并收集每个人的钱的人。
And the reason why it's him is-- OK, if you picture this company of 40 dancers, it's like-- and I hate to bring up this analogy, but honestly it's very, very apt-- the Starship Enterprise.
之所以是他，是因为——好吧，如果你想象一下这支由 40 名舞者组成的舞团，它就像——我不想提起这个类比，但老实说，它非常非常恰当——企业号星舰。
Remember this?
还记得这个吗？
I always thought that it was really a little weird that the one job besides actually flying around and exploring space, the one set that they bothered to build on this television show that wasn't actually adventure related, was the doctor's office.
我一直觉得这真的有点奇怪，除了实际飞行和探索太空之外，他们在这部与冒险无关的电视节目中费心打造的那一份工作就是医生的办公室。
I mean of all the things, right?
我的意思是所有的事情，对吧？
And basically, it's like that with Riverdance.
基本上，《大河之舞》就是这样。
Scott, the physical therapist, has a very big role behind the scenes in Riverdance.
物理治疗师斯科特在《大河之舞》的幕后扮演着非常重要的角色。
Well, his office is like a center for gossip, and people gather there during the show.
嗯，他的办公室就像一个八卦中心，人们在演出期间聚集在那里。
And how'd the pitch go?
球场进展如何？
Give me the pitch.
给我介绍一下。
Well, he didn't-- it was just basically like, everybody's doing this.
嗯，他没有——基本上就像是，每个人都在这样做。
We want everybody to get involved.
我们希望每个人都参与其中。
Because then our chances will be better, which is kind of a ridiculous thing to say when you're talking about the lottery because your chances are so slim.
因为那样我们的机会就会更大，当你谈论彩票时，说这句话有点荒谬，因为你的机会太渺茫了。
To be like, one more person.
就像，多了一个人。
But we figured out the stats.
但我们已经弄清楚了统计数据。
I guess the stats on the Mega-Millions at that point was 1 to 760 trillion.
我猜当时百万富翁的统计数字是 1 到 760 万亿。
But we figured we had like a 340 to 760 trillion chance, which sounded better than one.
但我们认为我们有大约 340 到 760 万亿的机会，这听起来比 1 更好。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass But did it seem in some way reasonable?
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）但这在某种程度上看起来合理吗？
I'm sitting here, actually.
事实上我就坐在这里。
And you're saying these numbers.
你说的是这些数字。
And I'm writing out on a piece of paper 760.
我正在一张纸上写下760。
And I realize like, I don't even know-- wait.
我意识到，我什至不知道——等等。
Is trillion the next one up from billion?
万亿是十亿之上的下一个吗？
And then I'm writing 340.
然后我写了340。
And then honestly, then you start to cross off a zero and a zero.
然后老实说，然后你开始划掉一个零和一个零。
And then you've got the 34 and the 76 and then a lot of zeros.
然后是 34 和 76，还有很多零。
And it just still seems like there's a lot of zeros there.
而且看起来仍然有很多零。
(LAUGHING) You're still up in the kind of billions, aren't you, to 1?
（笑）你的财富还剩几十亿，不是吗？是 1 吗？
Yeah.
是的。
I mean the chances are so unreasonable at that point, we just kind of forgot about the stats.
我的意思是，那时的机会是如此不合理，我们只是忘记了统计数据。
I don't even know.
我什至不知道。
I mean it just got unreasonable.
我的意思是它变得不合理。
We just thought for some reason if we focused all our energy on this, we were going to win it.
我们只是出于某种原因认为，如果我们将所有精力集中在这件事上，我们就会赢得胜利。
People even brought up theories of quantum physics and how we're all energy.
人们甚至提出了量子物理学以及我们如何都是能量的理论。
And if we just focus our energy on winning this lottery, we'll be able to create our own destiny if that makes any sense.
如果我们把精力集中在赢得这张彩票上，我们就能够创造自己的命运（如果这有意义的话）。
It does indeed, yeah.
确实如此，是的。
No, because when math fails, what do you have left but sheer faith?
不，因为当数学失败时，除了纯粹的信念，你还剩下什么？
Faith, yeah.
信仰，是的。
There'd be dissenters.
会有异议。
They would be like, you know, the chances of us winning this-- and we'd be like, no. No, no, no. You're the chink in the chain.
他们会说，你知道，我们获胜的机会——而我们会说，不。不，不，不。你是链条中的缝隙。
We need to focus all our energy on winning the lottery.
我们需要集中所有精力去赢得彩票。
And then it just became kind of like a group psychology thing, right?
然后它就变得有点像群体心理学，对吧？
Like everybody's holding everybody else up.
就像每个人都在支撑着其他人一样。
Yeah.
是的。
It's kind of bizarre how worked up you can get yourself.
你能让自己如此激动，这有点奇怪。
And one of the girls even said-- she had been reading Deepak Chopra, or something.
其中一个女孩甚至说——她一直在读迪帕克乔普拉之类的书。
And she was like, we can't say we're going to win the lottery.
她说，我们不能说我们会中彩票。
We have to say, we've won the lottery, and then we'll win.
我们必须说，我们已经中了彩票，然后我们就会赢。
How far did this go?
这走了多远？
They all started planning what they were going to do with the money.
他们都开始计划用这笔钱做什么。
Katie, for example, was going to pay off her parents' house.
例如，凯蒂打算还清父母的房贷。
She was going to buy a house for herself.
她打算给自己买一套房子。
She was going to put a little recording studio in the house for her singing career.
她打算在家里建一个小录音室，用于她的歌唱事业。
And as they came closer to the night of the Mega-Millions drawing, a Tuesday night, it was clear what most of the cast wanted.
当周二晚上，百万大奖抽奖之夜临近时，大多数演员想要什么就很清楚了。
I have to say it's kind of touching.
不得不说有点感人。
It tells you so much about them and their lives, what it is that they wanted.
它告诉你很多关于他们和他们的生活，他们想要什么。
See, a lot of the people are quite young in the show.
你看，剧中很多人都很年轻。
So they're like, I'm quitting Riverdance.
所以他们就像，我要退出大河之舞。
I'm going to school.
我要去学校了。
Everybody was quitting.
每个人都放弃了。
All right.
好的。
I'm going to stop that tape right there.
我要把那盘磁带停在那里。
Can I just say this is such a sad statement about the state of education funding in America that if you're young-- you're young.
我只能说，对于美国的教育经费状况来说，这是一个令人悲伤的说法，如果你还年轻，你就很年轻。
You're in your 20s.
你才20多岁。
You think, OK, how can I get to college?
你想，好吧，我怎样才能上大学？
What might be a good way that I might be able to finance that?
我可以通过什么方式筹集资金？
What would be a good plan?
什么是一个好的计划？
And the plan that seems reasonable to you-- and not just to you, but to you and several dozen of your peers is "I'm going to play the lotto."
对你来说，不仅对你，而且对你和你的几十个同龄人来说，似乎合理的计划是“我要玩乐透”。
Everybody was quitting.
每个人都放弃了。
But we decided that we would stick out the rest of the tour because it would be a while before-- because at first people were like, this will be our last show.
但我们决定坚持巡演的其余部分，因为这需要一段时间——因为一开始人们会说，这将是我们的最后一场演出。
This will be our last show.
这将是我们的最后一场演出。
We realized we wouldn't get the money for a while.
我们意识到我们暂时拿不到钱。
And so we decided that we'd stick out the rest of the tour.
所以我们决定继续进行剩下的巡演。
And then I'll quit after that.
然后我就会退出。
Well, that's sporting of you to honor your commitment to Riverdance.
嗯，这就是你兑现对大河之舞的承诺的表现。
Yeah, isn't it?
是啊，不是吗？
Because we were just going to call our producer the next day and tell him we were done.
因为我们打算第二天打电话给制片人并告诉他我们已经完成了。
Well, we also had a plan too, because we had a break a week later of a few days.
嗯，我们也有一个计划，因为一周后我们休息了几天。
And he's like, well, I'll just go pick up the money in Georgia during the break.
他说，好吧，我会在假期期间去佐治亚州取钱。
I'll bring somebody else with me.
我会带别人一起去。
And he's like, first things first, we've got to hire ourselves a lawyer.
他说，首先，我们必须聘请一名律师。
We had the whole game plan.
我们有整个比赛计划。
That's important because, as anybody who's ever been to the movies knows, you have to have a game plan.
这很重要，因为任何看过电影的人都知道，你必须有一个游戏计划。
Because somebody has to go with the physical therapist to Georgia to pick up the money.
因为必须有人和物理治疗师一起去佐治亚州取钱。
Or suddenly, you're in a whole Billy Bob Thornton movie where things are going wrong, and people are running off.
或者突然间，你置身于一部比利·鲍勃·松顿的电影中，事情出了问题，人们纷纷逃跑。
And you definitely want to avoid that.
你肯定想避免这种情况。
All right.
好的。
This brings us to the big night.
这让我们迎来了那个重要的夜晚。
All right.
好的。
Let me cue some big event music here.
让我在这里提示一些大型活动音乐。
OK.
好的。
Here we go.
开始了。
All right.
好的。
It's the big night, Mega-Millions drawing, Tuesday night, a show night for them because every night is a show night.
这是一个重要的夜晚，百万大奖抽奖，星期二晚上，对他们来说是一个表演之夜，因为每天晚上都是一个表演之夜。
Backstage before the show, they all gather in a big huddle around the dance captain for what basically amounts to the Saint Crispin's Day speech from Henry V.
演出开始前，他们在后台围成一大群，围着舞队长，聆听亨利五世在圣克里斯平日的演讲。
He kind of made this speech and said, we want you to put all your energy into this show.
他在演讲中说，我们希望你把所有的精力都投入到这个节目中。
And maybe we can win this thing.
也许我们可以赢得这件事。
You mean while you're dancing, you're dancing--
你的意思是当你跳舞的时候，你在跳舞——
For the lottery.
为了彩票。
Ira Glass And you're focusing that dance at those little balls somewhere.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：你将舞蹈的焦点集中在某个地方的那些小球上。
Exactly.
确切地。
Ira Glass You're sending that dancey energy through space.
Ira Glass 你正在通过太空发送舞蹈能量。
So it was sort of exciting.
所以这有点令人兴奋。
Katie Else It was quite exciting.
凯蒂·埃尔斯 这真是令人兴奋。
And I mean, we kind of got worked up into a frenzy almost.
我的意思是，我们几乎陷入了疯狂。
People were just going insane.
人们简直要疯了。
There is one point where I actually dance.
有一点我确实在跳舞。
I dance for about 30 seconds.
我跳舞大约30秒。
And we're kind of spinning in this circle in the middle.
我们在中间的这个圆圈里旋转。
And usually you're kind of like yip, yoo, woo.
通常你会表现得像“yip, yoo, woo”。
But people were screaming.
但人们在尖叫。
And they were yelling things like, do it for the lotto.
他们大喊“为乐透而做”之类的话。
Do you think the audience could hear "do it for the lotto?"
你认为观众能听到“为乐透而做吗？”
I really hope not.
我真的希望不会。
Ira Glass I mean you can see why they would get so worked up about this.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）我的意思是你可以明白为什么他们会对此如此激动。
They had been working every day for two months, which actually brings us to one of the difficult things about doing theater, especially a show like Riverdance.
他们已经连续两个月每天工作，这实际上给我们带来了做戏剧的困难之一，尤其是像《大河之舞》这样的演出。
You have to find ways to break up the monotony of doing something like that.
你必须找到方法来打破做类似事情的单调。
Because it's not even like you have a role to throw yourself into.
因为你甚至没有一个可以投入的角色。
And half of what I sing is nonsense anyway.
反正我唱的一半都是废话。
So to have something else to add to the show or spice up the show I think helps a lot.
因此，我认为为节目添加其他内容或为节目增添趣味会很有帮助。
Because otherwise, you can just easily just be going through the motions.
因为否则的话，你很容易只是走走过场。
That's right.
这是正确的。
I hadn't thought about that.
我没有想到这一点。
It's actually a job where you don't get a day off.
这实际上是一份没有休息日的工作。
And every single day, you do exactly the same thing.
每一天，你都做同样的事情。
Yes.
是的。
Ira Glass And exactly the same thing.
Ira Glass 和完全相同的东西。
It's not like other jobs where you're working a cash register, and it sort of seems like you're doing the same thing.
这与其他工作不同，你在收银台工作，而且看起来你在做同样的事情。
But you're actually talking to different people, and you're doing this and that.
但你实际上是在和不同的人交谈，你在做这做那。
But you're actually literally making exactly the same motions around the stage and uttering the same sounds out of your mouth.
但实际上，你在舞台上做着完全相同的动作，从嘴里发出同样的声音。
It's exactly the same every day.
每天都是一模一样的。
Yeah.
是的。
See, we try to find other ways to try to spice up the show.
看，我们试图寻找其他方法来为节目增添趣味。
Like, OK, in this number, you have to do as many random 360-degree turns as you can.
就像，好吧，在这个数字中，你必须尽可能多地随机进行 360 度转弯。
Really?
真的吗？
Katie Else Yeah.
凯蒂·艾尔丝 是的。
Or, in this one, you have to do as many head twitches as you can fit in.
或者，在这个过程中，你必须尽可能多地扭动头部。
This is-- I don't know.
这是——我不知道。
This is just a universal thing with performing, I guess.
我想这只是表演的普遍现象。
I mean I feel like I-- even I, in my limited way, understand this.
我的意思是，我觉得我——即使是我，以我有限的方式理解了这一点。
I, for our radio show, go out, and I visit public radio stations around the country and give these talks about our show in theaters.
为了我们的广播节目，我会出去访问全国各地的公共广播电台，并在剧院里就我们的节目进行这些演讲。
And years ago, when I first started doing this, the way that they would send me out is I would go out five or six nights in a row, like one city each night.
几年前，当我第一次开始这样做时，他们送我出去的方式是我会连续出去五六个晚上，就像每晚一个城市一样。
And the thing that I learned is that I am not a good enough performer to say the same thing on stage five or six nights in a row and sound sincere, or even speak with any feeling at all.
我学到的是，我不是一个足够好的表演者，无法连续五六个晚上在舞台上说同样的话并且听起来很真诚，甚至说话时根本没有任何感情。
I have to do them weeks apart.
我必须每隔几周做一次。
And even then, it's best if I change the speech a little each time.
即便如此，我最好每次都稍微改变一下演讲内容。
Otherwise, I find myself on stage talking about these things that mean so much to me, about our radio show and what we're trying to do.
否则，我发现自己在舞台上谈论这些对我来说意义重大的事情，关于我们的广播节目以及我们正在努力做的事情。
And I'm on stage, and I'll be talking.
我在台上，我会讲话。
And it'll just feel like nothing, like nothing, like-- blah, blah, blah.
就会感觉什么都没有，什么都没有，就像——巴拉，巴拉，巴拉。
Like gum that's been chewed for way too long.
就像嚼了太久的口香糖一样。
And this is the thing about doing dance as a job, or any kind of performing-- music, or comedy, or acting.
这就是把舞蹈作为工作或任何类型的表演——音乐、喜剧或表演——的问题。
It's like once you turn it into a job, once it's a job, it means that every night, you have to get on stage and take something that means so much to you, that means the world to you, and you have to repeat it until it does not mean anything at all.
就像一旦你把它变成了一份工作，一旦它成为了一份工作，就意味着每天晚上，你都必须登上舞台，接受一些对你来说意义重大、对你来说意味着整个世界的东西，你必须重复它，直到它完全没有任何意义为止。
So if you're somebody like Katie in a big professional touring production, you have to consciously do stuff to keep up your energy when you're on stage.
因此，如果你是像凯蒂这样的大型专业巡演作品中的人，那么当你在舞台上时，你必须有意识地做一些事情来保持精力。
Sometimes if you're on stage, and the dancers are dancing, and I'm not singing, I'll just be talking to people.
有时，如果你在舞台上，舞者在跳舞，而我不唱歌，我只会和人们说话。
(LAUGHING) Talking to people.
（笑）与人交谈。
Smoking a cigarette.
抽烟。
You get a cell phone call.
你接到一个手机电话。
Excuse me.
打扰一下。
I have to take this.
我必须接受这个。
No. But I know.
不，但我知道。
And I feel bad in the same regard with the audience when we perform.
当我们表演时，我对观众同样感到难过。
And they think you're giving them all this energy and this amazing performance.
他们认为你给了他们所有的能量和令人惊叹的表现。
And you're really just like, where are we going to go tonight?
你真的会想，我们今晚要去哪里？
What are we going to do?
我们要做什么？
Though, on the night of the big Mega-Millions drawing, that was definitely not a problem.
不过，在超级百万大奖抽奖当晚，这绝对不是问题。
The audience was really reacting to the amount of energy that we were putting out.
观众对我们所付出的精力做出了真正的反应。
They were going nuts.
他们快疯了。
They'd be breaking out into applause in the middle of numbers.
他们会在人群中间爆发出热烈的掌声。
And just the amount of volume coming from the audience, you could just tell.
观众的音量大小，你就能看出来。
Definitely the best show on tour.
绝对是巡回演出中最好的表演。
So much energy we were giving them, but it was because we wanted to win the lottery.
我们给了他们如此多的能量，但那是因为我们想赢得彩票。
It wasn't because we necessarily wanted to give them a really good show.
这并不是因为我们一定想给他们带来一场真正精彩的表演。
It's because we were greedy.
那是因为我们太贪心了。
Was it the actual best night of Riverdance you ever were in?
这是您参加过的《大河之舞》中最美好的夜晚吗？
Yeah.
是的。
At the end of the show, I almost felt like I was on some kind of crazy drug.
演出结束时，我几乎感觉自己好像服用了某种疯狂的药物。
Because I was like, yes, do it for the lottery.
因为我当时想，是的，为了买彩票而这么做。
You'd gotten yourself so worked up at that point.
那时你已经让自己太激动了。
At least for me, I've never had so much energy on stage.
至少对我来说，我从来没有在舞台上有过如此充沛的精力。
I'm usually a little bit lethargic and just kind of-- I basically just kind of stroll around, turn my head out to the audience, and sing.
我通常有点昏昏欲睡，基本上只是四处闲逛，把头转向观众，然后唱歌。
So they come off stage.
于是他们走下舞台。
It's 10:15, 10:20, something like that.
现在是 10:15、10:20，类似的时间。
And it's like they are stoned.
他们就像被石头砸死了一样。
They are buzzing.
他们在嗡嗡作响。
They are totally hyped up.
他们完全被炒作了。
And the lottery's at 11:00.
抽奖时间为 11:00。
And they gather at the hotel bar.
他们聚集在酒店的酒吧。
And Scott, the physical therapist, actually went to the trouble to type the numbers of all their lottery tickets out onto a page, which he duplicated and handed copies to everybody.
物理治疗师斯科特实际上不厌其烦地将他们所有的彩票号码打在一页上，然后将其复制并分发给每个人。
So that's all over the bar.
这就是酒吧里的一切。
And he also had the original tickets sealed neatly in these little plastic bags in numerical order.
他还将原始门票按数字顺序整齐地密封在这些小塑料袋中。
Such care.
这样的关怀。
And pretty much everybody was there.
几乎每个人都在那里。
We're at a bunch of different tables.
我们坐在一堆不同的桌子上。
And every table has a different computer printout to read over the lottery numbers.
每张桌子都有不同的计算机打印输出来读取彩票号码。
So we get the numbers.
这样我们就得到了数字。
And we're just poring over these sheets.
我们只是仔细研究这些表格。
And we're just getting nothing, nothing, not even anything remotely close.
而我们却一无所获，一无所获，甚至连任何遥远的东西都没有。
Wow.
哇。
Katie Else So then someone's like, I want to see the originals.
凯蒂·埃尔斯于是有人说，我想看原著。
What if you made a mistake in the computer?
如果你在电脑上犯了错误怎么办？
So we're going through the originals and collectively--
所以我们正在回顾原著并共同——
Yeah.
是的。
I love the instinct of that, though.
不过，我喜欢这种本能。
The instinct is, this must be wrong.
直觉告诉我，这一定是错误的。
I mean clearly we won.
我的意思是显然我们赢了。
Exactly.
确切地。
Ira Glass There's been some sort of mistake here.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：这里有某种错误。
He made a mistake.
他犯了一个错误。
But it wasn't even like there was one that was close.
但它甚至不像有一个接近的。
And someone actually brought up-- someone actually posed the idea that maybe Scott had put the numbers in wrong, and we had won the lottery.
确实有人提出了这样的想法：也许斯科特把数字写错了，而我们却中了彩票。
He had won the lottery and was going to take all the money.
他中了彩票，准备拿走所有的钱。
Wow.
哇。
Katie Else It's amazing how worked up you can get yourself, and especially-- it's like gang mentality-- how worked up you can get each other.
凯蒂·埃尔斯 令人惊奇的是，你可以让自己如此兴奋，尤其是——就像帮派心态一样——你可以让彼此如此兴奋。
And then you just crash.
然后你就崩溃了。
Nobody even hung around, she said.
她说，甚至没有人在附近闲逛。
They all went straight to bed.
他们都直接上床睡觉了。
And the next day, they did a lousy show, incredibly low energy.
第二天，他们的表演很糟糕，能量低得令人难以置信。
And here's the disturbing thing.
这是令人不安的事情。
The audience loved it.
观众喜欢它。
Couldn't tell at all, which either means that A, they are such solid performers and this material, the Riverdance material, is so solid that even on their worst day, they are pretty damn good.
根本说不出来，这要么意味着A，他们是非常出色的表演者，而这种材料，大河之舞的材料，是如此坚固，以至于即使在他们最糟糕的一天，他们也非常好。
Or B-- and this is kind of ugly to say, but I'm just going to say it.
或者B——虽然这样说有点难听，但我就是要这么说。
When you and I and a lot of people, when we get together in a mass group, and we get together in an audience, and we're sitting in the theater in an audience, we just get stupid.
当你和我以及很多人，当我们聚集在一个群众团体中，当我们聚集在观众中，当我们坐在剧院的观众中时，我们就会变得愚蠢。
And it doesn't matter if the performers try.
表演者是否尝试并不重要。
Katie actually sees it somewhere in between those two.
凯蒂实际上认为它介于两者之间。
They're going to see kind of what they want to see.
他们会看到他们想看到的东西。
They came wanting to see this thing.
他们来就是想看看这个东西。
They think you're giving them all this energy and this amazing performance.
他们认为你给了他们所有的能量和令人惊叹的表现。
And that's what they're going to see.
这就是他们将会看到的。
Which in a way is just people being nice, assuming the performers are doing their best onstage.
在某种程度上，这只是人们表现得很好，假设表演者在舞台上尽了最大努力。
You know?
你知道？
We want to laugh at the comedian's jokes.
我们想嘲笑喜剧演员的笑话。
We want them to be funny.
我们希望他们变得有趣。
It's a nice thing.
这是一件好事。
This whole experience raised some very basic questions about performing.
整个经历提出了一些关于表演的非常基本的问题。
And in theory, I guess-- we were talking.
我想，从理论上讲，我们正在谈论。
We were like, you know, I guess that's how much energy you're supposed to give the audience, ideally, every night.
我们当时想，你知道，我想这就是你应该为观众提供多少能量，理想情况下，每晚都是如此。
But you can't.
但你不能。
Like I couldn't do-- after we lost the lottery, obviously, I turned to one of my friends.
就像我做不到的那样——显然，在我们中了彩票之后，我转向了我的一位朋友。
And I was like, I don't think I could do another lotto show.
我当时想，我不认为我可以再做一次乐透表演。
I don't think it would be possible.
我认为这是不可能的。
It's just too draining.
实在是太累了。
Because I would think it's more fun to perform if you're more hyped up.
因为我认为如果你更加兴奋的话表演会更有趣。
You know?
你知道？
It definitely is more fun.
这绝对更有趣。
It kind of puts performing in perspective because-- I don't know.
这有点让表演变得正确，因为——我不知道。
Maybe some people just get themselves really hyped up and can do that every night.
也许有些人只是让自己非常兴奋，并且每天晚上都能做到这一点。
And good for them.
对他们有好处。
But eight shows a week, that's a lot of shows.
但每周有八场演出，已经很多了。
I don't think I could.
我不认为我可以。
One of the conclusions that you all could come to is that, although you were dancing your hardest and trying to direct that energy towards the Powerball, perhaps that isn't really what determines how the Powerball falls.
你们所有人都可以得出的结论之一是，尽管你们尽最大努力跳舞并试图将能量引导到强力球上，但也许这并不是真正决定强力球如何落下的因素。
Perhaps.
也许。
Ira Glass Well, or possibly you weren't dancing quite hard enough.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：好吧，或者可能是你跳舞不够努力。
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass Or there was a touring company of Chicago that really danced.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 或者，芝加哥有一家真正跳舞的巡回演出公司。
Well, I think the people who ended up winning was-- it was another syndicate ticket, but it was nurses.
嗯，我认为最终获胜的人是——这是另一张辛迪加彩票，但是护士。
So I don't know what they did.
所以我不知道他们做了什么。
They put as much energy into changing bedpans and putting in IVs as they could.
他们投入尽可能多的精力来更换便盆和放置静脉注射器。
Or saving lives.
或者拯救生命。
Katie Else Or saving lives.
凯蒂·艾尔瑟 或者拯救生命。
One little dance troupe can't compete with that, man.
一个小舞蹈团根本无法与之抗衡，伙计。
No. Ira Glass They get in there, and they save a couple lives for the lottery.
不，艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 他们进去了，为彩票拯救了几条生命。
That's some energy.
那是一些能量。
That's true.
这是真的。
I bet they saved a life.
我敢打赌他们拯救了一条生命。
Damn it.
该死的。
Singer Katie Else.
歌手凯蒂·埃尔斯。
Since doing this interview, she's quit Riverdance.
自从接受这次采访后，她就退出了《大河之舞》。
She has an album coming out.
她有一张专辑即将发行。
Info at katieelse.com.
信息请参见 katielse.com。
[MUSIC - "LOTTERY" BY MARKY RAMONE AND THE INTRUDERS]
[音乐 - 马克·雷蒙和入侵者的“彩票”]
Act Two, Taxation Without Inebriation.
第二幕，不醉不归地征税。
So you need help.
所以你需要帮助。
You're in over your head, and you turn to a professional.
你不知所措，于是你求助于专业人士。
Often, that is a good idea.
通常，这是一个好主意。
It just depends on who the professional is that you turn to.
这仅取决于您求助的专业人士是谁。
A couple years ago, Joel Lovell and his wife had financial problems.
几年前，乔尔·洛弗尔和他的妻子遇到了财务问题。
Tax time was coming around.
报税时间快到了。
And for once, he says, they got the bright idea to take appropriate steps.
他说，这一次他们有了采取适当措施的好主意。
The first time we went to see Len, he spent an hour and a half talking about movies and musicals and the actors he'd had as clients way back when nobody knew their names.
我们第一次去见莱恩时，他花了一个半小时谈论电影和音乐剧，以及很久以前他作为客户的演员，当时没人知道他们的名字。
"F.
“F.
Murray Abraham owes me," he said.
默里·亚伯拉罕欠我的，”他说。
"I've saved his ass for years."
“我已经救了他很多年了。”
Eventually, my wife Kate cut in and explained that we were pretty worried, that the bulk of our income that year had been untaxed, and that we hadn't paid any quarterly estimates.
最终，我的妻子凯特插话并解释说我们非常担心，那年我们的大部分收入都没有纳税，而且我们没有支付任何季度估算。
Kate made most of her living then as an improv actor, and I made most of mine as a freelance writer.
凯特当时的大部分生活是作为一名即兴演员，而我的大部分生活是作为一名自由作家。
And the truth was we'd spent everything we'd earned and more.
事实上，我们已经花光了我们赚到的一切，甚至更多。
Len looked at us incredulously.
莱恩不可置信地看着我们。
"Can one of you explain to me," he said, "how the hell Ordinary People beats out Raging Bull?
“你们谁能给我解释一下，”他说，“普通人到底是怎么打败愤怒的公牛的？
Does that make a lick of freaking sense?" It's a little hard to explain now.
这听起来有点奇怪吗？”现在有点难以解释。
But at the time, it seemed charming rather than worrisome that our accountant was more concerned about what won best picture in 1980 than about our unpaid taxes.
但当时，我们的会计师更关心什么赢得了 1980 年最佳影片，而不是我们未缴的税款，这似乎是迷人的，而不是令人担忧的。
On the subway ride from Len's Manhattan apartment back to Brooklyn, I went on and on about how reassuring it was to take our financial mess to a guy like him.
在从莱恩位于曼哈顿的公寓返回布鲁克林的地铁上，我不停地说，把我们的财务困境交给像他这样的人是多么令人安心。
His whole attitude was comforting, I kept saying.
我一直说，他的整个态度令人欣慰。
Even the fact that he was drunk while we sat there in his office, it helped put things in perspective.
即使我们坐在他的办公室时他喝醉了，这也有助于我们正确看待事情。
When we got home, there were three messages on our answering machine, each one more slurred than the one that had come before it.
当我们回到家时，答录机上收到了三条留言，每一条都比前一条更加含糊不清。
"It's Len," the first message started.
“我是莱恩，”第一条消息这样开头。
"You kids are screwed.
“你们这些孩子完蛋了。
I'll do what I can, but this is a horror show.
我会尽我所能，但这是一部恐怖剧。
You should know that." Then a beep and, "It's me, Len.
你应该知道这一点。”然后一声嘟嘟声说道：“是我，莱恩。
I don't know what the hell we're going to do here."
我不知道我们到底要在这里做什么。”
And finally this-- which we had to play over a few times to understand.
最后，我们必须玩几次才能理解。
"Kate, you're a comedienne, for Christ's sake.
“凯特，天哪，你是个喜剧演员。
If you go out to drinks with Steve Martin, you can-- you can write that off.
如果你和史蒂夫·马丁出去喝酒，你可以——你可以把它撇掉。
That sort of crap, that's legit." Kate, who had never met Steve Martin, stared at the answering machine for some time.
这种废话，是合法的。”凯特从未见过史蒂夫·马丁，她盯着答录机看了一会儿。
Eventually, she looked up at me and said, "We can't ever go to Len again."
最后，她抬头看着我说：“我们再也不能去莱恩了。”
The next year, I went to Len again.
第二年，我又去了莱恩。
I know it doesn't make any sense.
我知道这没有任何意义。
I knew it even then.
我当时就知道了。
But the thing was he saved us a ton of money.
但问题是他为我们节省了很多钱。
And while he did it in a way that was not technically legal, he made it all seem perfectly justified.
虽然他以一种技术上不合法的方式做到了这一点，但他让这一切看起来完全合理。
When I went to pick up our return and paused for a moment over some figures that were utterly fictional, Len scoffed at me.
当我去取回车并在一些完全虚构的人物面前停顿片刻时，莱恩嘲笑了我。
"Look," he said.
“看，”他说。
"They want to screw you.
“他们想搞砸你。
And I'll lie up the "waz" to make sure you don't get screwed.
我会把“waz”撒谎，以确保你不会被搞砸。
[BLEEP] them.
[哔]他们。
That's how you have to think about these things."
这就是你必须思考这些事情的方式。”
It was more than just the money, though.
不过，这不仅仅是钱的问题。
There was something-- I don't know-- kind of cool about having a tax preparer who couldn't have had less regard for the government's rules.
我不知道，拥有一位对政府规则毫不尊重的报税员是一件很酷的事情。
Len did the taxes of artists and writers and actors.
莱恩负责为艺术家、作家和演员纳税。
And the thing he valued about them had nothing to do with their money.
他看重他们的东西与他们的钱无关。
At a time when a few of my friends had become suddenly, inexplicably rich, just sitting in Len's shambles of an office, looking at his albums and books, at the paintings and sculptures he'd accepted from clients in lieu of actual payment, it made me feel like I was a part of this creative community.
当我的几个朋友突然变得莫名其妙地富有时，只是坐在莱恩的一间破烂的办公室里，看着他的相册和书籍，看着他从客户那里接受的绘画和雕塑，而不是实际付款，这让我感觉自己是这个创意社区的一部分。
It was about 10:00 in the morning when I saw Len, a week before the filing deadline.
我见到 Len 的时候是上午 10:00 左右，距离提交截止日期还有一周。
And he was chain-smoking Parliaments and drinking scotch from a stainless steel tumbler.
他还不停地抽烟，喝着不锈钢水杯里的苏格兰威士忌。
His desk was covered with manila folders, dozens of them.
他的办公桌上堆满了马尼拉文件夹，有几十个。
They were coffee ringed and cigarette stained, his calculations scratched across them in a tiny, illegible hand.
它们被咖啡圈环绕，沾满香烟污迹，他的计算用一只难以辨认的小手在上面写着。
There was a drum kit in the corner of the room piled high with even more folders.
房间的角落里有一个架子鼓，里面堆满了更多的文件夹。
And next to Len's desk on a metal cart was a computer that looked like it had just come out of the box.
莱恩办公桌旁边的金属推车上放着一台电脑，看起来就像刚从盒子里拿出来一样。
"They told me this freaking program would make it easier," Len said.
“他们告诉我这个奇怪的程序会让事情变得更容易，”莱恩说。
"But I don't know what the hell." He looked exhausted and distracted.
“但我不知道到底是什么。”他看上去疲惫不堪，心烦意乱。
"There's this kid they keep sending over to help me out, but everything he says just confuses me more."
“他们不断派出一个孩子来帮助我，但他所说的一切都让我更加困惑。”
He slouched in his chair and rubbed his fists in tight circles around his eyes, then gave his head a little shake.
他无精打采地坐在椅子上，用拳头在眼睛周围紧紧地打圈，然后轻轻摇了摇头。
"Ah, crap," he said.
“啊，糟糕，”他说。
"Your old lady's a kick in the pants.
“你的老太太真是个脾气暴躁的人。
She's a funny chick.
她是一个有趣的小妞。
I'm sorry she's not here." He started to chuckle, but the chuckle turned into a coughing fit.
很遗憾她不在。”他开始咯咯地笑，但笑声变成了咳嗽。
And Len hacked away for a solid half a minute, waving me off with one hand and resting his forehead on the edge of his desk.
莱恩花了整整半分钟的时间，用一只手挥手让我离开，并将额头靠在桌子边缘。
Eventually, a tremendously thin and wrinkled woman appeared in the door.
最终，一个极其瘦弱、满脸皱纹的女人出现在门口。
"You OK, Lenny?" she asked.
“你还好吗，莱尼？”她问道。
He lifted his head.
他抬起头。
"Yeah, good," he said.
“是的，很好，”他说。
And the blood began to slowly retreat from his face.
而他脸上的血色也开始慢慢退去。
The woman handed him a handkerchief.
女人递给他一块手帕。
And Len pulled a wad of crumpled bills out of his breast pocket.
莱从胸前的口袋里掏出一叠皱巴巴的钞票。
"Go buy us some steaks," he said.
“去给我们买一些牛排吧，”他说。
"Wine too if there's anything left over." Then he looked at me and smiled.
“如果还有剩下的话，还有酒。”然后他看着我微笑。
"My ex," he said, "she's helping me out of a jam here."
“我的前任，”他说，“她正在帮助我摆脱这里的困境。”
I nodded and held on to my folder filled with another year's bad news.
我点点头，手里拿着我的文件夹，里面装满了又一年的坏消息。
I said something about how great it was that they could still work together, he and his ex, especially under the gun like this.
我说了一些关于他和他的前任，他们仍然可以一起工作是多么好的事情，尤其是在这样的枪口下。
"Yeah, we've been through it," he said.
“是的，我们已经经历过了，”他说。
And then he went on to tell me about how the two of them went on this trip to Puerto Rico years ago, shortly after they were married.
然后他继续告诉我，他们两人几年前结婚后不久就去波多黎各旅行了。
"We drank rum drinks and sat around burning our asses off all week.
“我们喝着朗姆酒，坐在那里，整个星期都在焦躁不安。
It was great.
太棒了。
On the last day, we barely had two nickels to rub together.
最后一天，我们几乎没有两分钱可以摩擦。
So this is what we did.
这就是我们所做的。
We went down to the pool for a few last drinks-- you know, just left all our crap in our room, right?
我们去泳池喝了最后几杯饮料——你知道，我们把所有的垃圾都留在了房间里，对吧？
Then caught a cab to the airport and got on the plane with nothing but our towels and sandals."
然后打了一辆出租车去机场，除了毛巾和凉鞋，什么也没带就上了飞机。”
He started laughing again, hard.
他又开始大笑，笑得很厉害。
And I braced myself for another coughing fit, but it didn't come.
我做好了再次咳嗽的准备，但它没有出现。
"Ah, Christ," he said.
“啊，上帝啊，”他说。
"Those were good days.
“那是美好的日子。
You could do stuff like that back then." I just sat there trying to take in what that meant.
那时你可以做那样的事情。”我只是坐在那里试图理解这意味着什么。
30 years ago, you could check into a hotel in Puerto Rico for a week, then not pay and leave all your belongings in your room, then go to the airport in your swim trunks and fly back to New York City?
30年前，你可以在波多黎各的一家酒店住上一周，然后不用付钱，把所有物品留在房间里，然后穿着泳裤去机场，飞回纽约市？
While I considered this, Len pulled himself upright and surveyed the mess on his desk.
当我思考这个问题时，莱恩直起身子，审视着桌上乱七八糟的东西。
He let out a long, dramatic sigh and said, "Ah, crap.
他长长地叹了一口气，说道：“啊，糟糕。
There's no use putting it off any longer, right?
再拖延也没有用了，对吧？
Let's have the mess." I thought of my wife, the funny chick, back home in Brooklyn.
让我们来处理一下混乱吧。”我想起了我的妻子，那个有趣的小妞，回到了布鲁克林的家。
She was really tired of us being jackasses about money, and I couldn't believe that she'd look kindly on this scene.
她真的厌倦了我们在金钱问题上的愚蠢，我不敢相信她在这一幕上会表现得和蔼可亲。
"I don't know, Len," I said.
“我不知道，莱恩，”我说。
"It looks like you have your hands full this year.
“看来你今年忙得不可开交。
Why don't I take all this to someone else this time?" "Just give me the freaking folder," Len said.
这次我为什么不把这一切都交给别人呢？” “把那个该死的文件夹给我吧，”莱恩说。
I started to make an excuse.
我开始找借口。
But before I could get anything out of my mouth, Len heaved himself out of his chair and fell across the width of his desk.
但还没等我把话从嘴里说出来，莱恩就从椅子上站起来，摔倒在桌子的宽度上。
He grabbed my folder with one of his hands, and I watched his face go crimson.
他用一只手抓住了我的文件夹，我看着他的脸涨得通红。
"Come on," he said.
“来吧，”他说。
"I need this." I let go.
“我需要这个。”我放手了。
Len fell back into his chair with my folder in his hands and closed his eyes.
莱恩倒在椅子上，手里拿着我的文件夹，闭上了眼睛。
I knew I shouldn't leave it at this.
我知道我不应该就此罢休。
That I needed to stand up, and maybe get a little mean and self-righteous, and tell him to give me my folder, and then walk out of there.
我需要站起来，也许变得有点卑鄙和自以为是，告诉他把我的文件夹给我，然后走出那里。
But I couldn't.
但我不能。
I'd like to believe that it was out of some sort of compassion.
我愿意相信这是出于某种同情心。
That I was looking at a broken man and choosing not to break him further.
我看着一个破碎的人，却选择不再进一步伤害他。
And maybe that was part of it.
也许这就是其中的一部分。
But it also had something to do with my own private disgrace at how little money I had and at how badly I managed it.
但这也与我个人的耻辱有关，因为我的钱是那么少，而且我的管理又是多么糟糕。
It felt to me like it was just a facet of something larger and more troublesome, an inability to take much of anything very seriously.
在我看来，这只是更大、更麻烦的事情的一个方面，无法认真对待任何事情。
Without Len, I'd have to show that folder to someone else who'd probably look down on me.
如果没有莱恩，我就必须向其他可能看不起我的人展示该文件夹。
Len was less my accountant than the guardian of my shame.
莱恩与其说是我的会计师，不如说是我耻辱的守护者。
And in that respect, I still needed his services.
在这方面，我仍然需要他的服务。
So I said OK, and walked out and waited for the elevator.
我说好，然后就出去等电梯了。
When it arrived, Len's ex-wife stepped off with their steaks and wine.
当它到达时，莱恩的前妻端着牛排和葡萄酒走了下来。
We smiled at each other, embarrassed.
我们相视一笑，都有些尴尬。
And she said, he'll be better next year.
她说，明年他会更好。
This one's a toughie.
这是一个硬汉。
Len never called us to sign our return.
莱恩从未打电话给我们签署报税表。
I assumed he'd filed for an extension.
我以为他已经申请延期了。
And I called him a few times and left messages trying to find out, though I didn't try very hard.
我给他打了几次电话并留言试图找出答案，尽管我并没有很努力。
Several months later, we received a letter telling us that Len had died in April, days before the filing deadline.
几个月后，我们收到一封信，告诉我们莱恩已于四月去世，距离提交截止日期还有几天。
I called the accountant who'd sent the letter.
我给寄这封信的会计师打了电话。
And he told me they had taken over a bunch of Len's clients.
他告诉我他们已经接管了莱恩的一批客户。
Our return had never been filed, he said.
他说，我们的申报表从未提交过。
My wife and I owed a lot of money.
我和我的妻子欠了很多钱。
He'd do what he could to explain the circumstances, but there were going to be some fines and penalties to pay.
他会尽其所能地解释情况，但需要支付一些罚款和罚金。
I understood that, right?
我明白了，对吧？
I thanked him, and hung up, and called the IRS.
我谢过他，然后挂断电话，给国税局打电话。
"I know I should have done something," I found myself admitting to a woman who repeatedly insisted that I and no one else was responsible for my taxes.
“我知道我应该做点什么，”我发现自己向一位女士承认，她一再坚称我和其他人都应对我的纳税负责。
I know I should have taken care of it differently.
我知道我应该以不同的方式处理它。
And then I thought of the bulk of Len's body on top of his desk, the wad of bills he handed to his ex-wife, the thousands of dollars we owed that we couldn't possibly pay.
然后我想到了莱恩办公桌上的大部分尸体，他递给前妻的一叠账单，以及我们可能无法支付的数千美元。
I imagined that figure circled in marker, sitting on the pile in Len's office after he died.
我想象着那个用记号笔圈起来的人影，在莱恩死后坐在他办公室的一堆东西上。
"Can you tell me?" I asked her because I genuinely wanted to know.
“你能告诉我吗？”我问她是因为我真的想知道。
"Can you tell me how someone else would have handled this?"
“你能告诉我如果是其他人会怎么处理这件事吗？”
Joel Lovell, he's no longer a freelancer.
乔尔·洛弗尔（Joel Lovell），他不再是自由职业者了。
Now he's the executive editor at Pineapple Street Media.
现在他是菠萝街媒体的执行编辑。
Coming up, can garbage be a force for justice?
接下来，垃圾能否成为正义的力量？
That's in a minute on Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.
芝加哥公共广播电台稍后将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Every week on our program, of course, we choose some theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's show, "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time," we've arrived at Act Three of our show.
今天的节目“当时看来是个好主意”，我们已经到了节目的第三幕。
Act Three, Bad Morning America.
第三幕，《糟糕的美国早晨》。
But every so often it actually happens-- the idea that seems so good at the time actually is.
但这种情况时常发生——当时看起来很好的想法实际上确实如此。
Kind of.
有点儿。
Which brings us to Davy Rothbart's story.
这给我们带来了戴维·罗斯巴特的故事。
Davy's been on our show before.
戴维以前参加过我们的节目。
He's the creator of Found Magazine, where he publishes notes and scraps of paper and pictures just kind of randomly discovered by people on the street or wherever.
他是《发现》杂志的创始人，他在杂志上发表人们在街上或任何地方随机发现的笔记、纸片和图片。
A couple years ago, Davy was promoting a book based on the same material.
几年前，戴维正在宣传一本基于相同材料的书。
He was on this book tour that went to 136 cities.
他参加了这次巡回售书活动，足迹遍及 136 个城市。
And in a lot of these cities, he did the local morning TV shows.
在许多这样的城市，他制作了当地的早间电视节目。
This story he's about to tell was recorded in front of a live audience.
他即将讲述的这个故事是在现场观众面前录制的。
Some of the names of cities and people have been changed.
一些城市和人名已更改。
Early on in the tour, I took these gigs pretty seriously.
在巡演的早期，我非常认真地对待这些演出。
But by the third week of the trip, I was starting to wonder who exactly, if anyone, was watching the local news at 7:00 AM.
但到了旅行的第三周，我开始想知道究竟是谁（如果有人的话）在上午 7:00 观看当地新闻。
Also, while a couple of the hosts of these shows were real cool and genuinely excited about the book, most of them didn't get the whole idea behind it.
此外，虽然这些节目的一些主持人非常酷并且对这本书感到由衷的兴奋，但他们中的大多数人并没有理解这本书背后的全部想法。
For some reason, this only increased their chipper-ness.
出于某种原因，这只会增加他们的活力。
"Those pants are so fun," they'd say, looking me up and down.
“那些裤子真有趣，”他们会说，上下打量着我。
"Plaid pants.
“格子裤。
You're fun, huh?"
你很有趣吧？”
The one thing that kept me excited about these morning TV gigs was getting to meet and hang out with my other fellow guests.
让我对这些早间电视演出感到兴奋的一件事是能够与其他客人见面并一起出去玩。
These were local chefs with recipes of the week, mayoral candidates, a team of Irish dancers, a kid with an 80-pound pumpkin.
这些人包括掌握本周食谱的当地厨师、市长候选人、爱尔兰舞者团队、拿着 80 磅重南瓜的孩子。
On Fox 45's Good Morning Baltimore I did my little song and dance, and then the anchor asked me to stay on her couch while she brought out the next guest, Baltimore's best mom, an 87-year-old woman named Darnelda Cole.
在 Fox 45 的《早安巴尔的摩》节目中，我唱了一首小歌，跳了一小段舞蹈，然后主播让我留在她的沙发上，她带出了下一位嘉宾，巴尔的摩最好的妈妈，一位 87 岁的女士，名叫达内尔达·科尔 (Darnelda Cole)。
She sat next to me on the couch.
她坐在我旁边的沙发上。
And on the far side of her sat her 50-year-old son Dice.
在她的另一边坐着她50岁的儿子戴斯。
Darnelda had no idea why she'd been asked to come on TV.
达内尔达不知道为什么她被邀请上电视。
They'd plotted this as a surprise.
他们策划这件事是为了出人意料。
The anchor asked Dice Cole to read the letter he'd written.
主播请戴斯·科尔读一下他写的信。
Darnelda grew weepy.
达内尔达哭了。
At last, the anchor declared Darnelda Baltimore's Best Mom and produced an oversized plaque from somewhere and presented it to her, at which point Darnelda fell sobbing into my arms.
最后，主播宣称达内尔达是巴尔的摩最好的妈妈，并从某处拿出一块超大牌匾送给她，这时达内尔达倒在我怀里抽泣。
I gave her a wild bear hug, caught up in the moment.
我给了她一个疯狂的拥抱，沉浸在这一刻。
A moment later, the anchorwoman joined our embrace.
过了一会儿，女主播加入了我们的怀抱。
Dice, meanwhile, had lit up a cigarette, which an alarmed producer raced over and doused with a splash of sparkling water.
与此同时，戴斯点燃了一支香烟，一位惊慌失措的制片人跑过去，泼了点苏打水。
Darnelda took this in and began hollering at her son and whacking him with her new plaque.
达内尔达明白了这一点，开始对她的儿子大喊大叫，并用她的新牌匾殴打他。
"Dice, you can't smoke in here.
“戴斯，你不能在这里抽烟。
This is TV we're making.
这是我们正在制作的电视。
Put that damn thing out."
把那该死的东西拿出来。”
There were other high points.
还有其他的亮点。
And by high points, I mean low points for the stations and their guests.
我所说的高点是指车站及其客人的低点。
In Cleveland, two city parks employees showed off an injured hawk and falcon they'd rescued.
在克利夫兰，两名城市公园工作人员展示了他们救出的一只受伤的鹰和猎鹰。
Then the falcon got loose and started flapping about, peeing on everything.
然后猎鹰挣脱了束缚，开始拍打翅膀，在所有东西上撒尿。
The anchors had to forge on through the local news and sports and weather while the falcon continued to dive-bomb them, rationing its urine so it could drip a few drops on them with every sortie.
主播们必须继续报道当地的新闻、体育和天气，而猎鹰则继续俯冲轰炸他们，定量分配尿液，这样每次出击都能在他们身上滴几滴。
It was [BLEEP] amazing.
真是[哔]太棒了。
In Chicago, a young soccer champ demonstrating his fancy moves booted a ball off the wall of the set, knocking it over backwards-- revealing the fact that we were not actually in the host's living room, as it might appear, but in the middle of a big, dank, concrete hangar.
在芝加哥，一位年轻的足球冠军展示了他的奇特动作，将一个球踢出了场地的墙壁，将球向后撞倒——这表明我们实际上并不像看上去那样在主人的客厅里，而是在一个又大又湿的混凝土机库中间。
In Phoenix, I was sandwiched on air between Cedric the Entertainer and the governor of Arizona.
在凤凰城，我被夹在艺人塞德里克和亚利桑那州州长之间。
Cedric came on right before me, dropped a couple F-bombs, and then sheepishly left, telling his chaperone, "I didn't mean to say that [BLEEP].
塞德里克就在我面前出现，扔了几句脏话，然后羞涩地离开了，告诉他的监护人，“我不是故意这么说的[BLEEP]。
It just came out, I swear to God."
它刚刚出来，我向上帝发誓。”
I was traveling with my little brother in a van I'd bought off eBay.
我和我的弟弟开着一辆从 eBay 买的面包车旅行。
Often, we would do a Found event in one city, take turns driving all night to the next one, and get to the TV station parking lot around 4:00 AM.
通常，我们会在一个城市举办一场 Found 活动，然后轮流开车通宵前往下一个城市，并在凌晨 4:00 左右到达电视台停车场。
I could get a couple hours of sleep before it was time for me to unfold myself, "plomp" inside all rumpled and bleary-eyed, and do my thing for 90 seconds on air.
我可以睡几个小时，然后就可以舒展自己，“扑通扑通”地睡着，在电视上做我自己的事情 90 秒。
In the wee hours, security guards in the station lots would poke flashlights in our van windows and roust us.
凌晨时分，车站的保安人员会用手电筒戳我们的车窗来叫醒我们。
And I'd explain that I was going to be a guest on the morning show.
我会解释说我将成为早间节目的嘉宾。
And they'd disappear for 20 minutes to check into it, then come back and wake us again to tell us that things had checked out and everything was cool.
他们会消失 20 分钟检查情况，然后回来再次叫醒我们，告诉我们事情已经检查完毕，一切都很好。
In Seattle, after a young security guard played this game with us, I asked him if I could come inside to use the john.
在西雅图，一位年轻的保安和我们玩了这个游戏后，我问他我是否可以进去使用厕所。
We ended up talking for a while.
我们聊了一会儿。
His name was Pico.
他的名字叫皮科。
It turned out that the station was moving soon to brand-new, larger digs and that Pico was going to be replaced by an automatic gate with a swipe card.
事实证明，车站很快就会搬到全新的、更大的地方，Pico 也将被带有刷卡的自动门所取代。
Pico asked why I was going to be on the morning show.
皮科问我为什么要参加早间节目。
And I explained to him the Found book, all notes and letters and photos that folks around the country had found and sent in to us, little scraps that gave a glimpse into the lives of strangers.
我向他解释了《发现》一书，里面有全国各地的人们发现并寄给我们的所有笔记、信件和照片，这些小碎片让我们得以一睹陌生人的生活。
Pico got excited.
皮科很兴奋。
He told me that earlier that very same night, he'd been sifting through boxes that were being tossed out before the station's big move.
他告诉我，就在当天晚上早些时候，他一直在筛选车站大搬迁之前扔掉的盒子。
And he'd found a bunch of racy notes written by the morning show's old, dour anchorman to a young camerawoman.
他还发现了早间节目那位年长、阴沉的主持人写给一位年轻女摄影师的一堆生动的笔记。
Pico and I, we galloped out back to the dumpsters and mucked about until we found the stack of steamy pages.
皮科和我，跑回垃圾箱，翻来覆去，直到找到那叠湿漉漉的书页。
"You should read some of these on the show," Pico cried.
“你应该在节目中读一些这些内容，”皮科喊道。
I thought this could be a terrible idea.
我认为这可能是一个糟糕的主意。
But Pico was vehement.
但皮科却很激烈。
"This guy's a class-A [BLEEP]," he said.
“这家伙是 A 级 [BLEEP]，”他说。
"I'm telling you.
“我告诉你。
He got a janitor fired for throwing out his lucky tie that he left on the bathroom floor.
一名清洁工因为把他留在浴室地板上的幸运领带扔掉而被解雇。
She had worked here eight years."
她在这里工作了八年。”
Three hours later, we were on the air.
三个小时后，我们就开始直播了。
And the anchorman was turning to me with a grumpy look.
主持人正用一种脾气暴躁的眼神转向我。
"So tell me about this book.
“那么跟我说说这本书吧。
You collect trash, is that it?
你收集垃圾，是吗？
You like trash, trashy trash?
你喜欢垃圾，垃圾垃圾吗？
One person's treasures, another's treasure."
一个人的宝藏，另一个人的宝藏。”
He might very well have been drunk at 7:15 in the morning.
早上7点15分他很可能已经喝醉了。
"Yes, sir," I said.
“是的，先生，”我说。
"People are finding this stuff all over the country, all over the world really, and sending it in to us.
“人们在全国各地、甚至全世界都找到了这些东西，然后将其发送给我们。
It's amazing how powerfully you can get a sense of someone just from a little ripped piece of paper you pick up off the grass-- like this one, for example.
令人惊奇的是，仅仅从草地上捡起一张撕破的小纸片，你就能如此强烈地了解一个人——比如这张纸。
Seems like it's a guy who's trying to woo a girl by describing what he'd like to do with her breasts."
看起来这是一个男人试图通过描述他想对女孩的胸部做什么来吸引女孩。”
I held his note up high and read it out loud.
我高高举起他的纸条，大声读出来。
"Stacy, you've got a rack on you.
“史黛西，你身上有一个架子。
Now that's a pair.
现在这是一对。
I will [BLEEP] and [BLEEP] on them.
我会对它们[BLEEP]和[BLEEP]。
Quit playing hard to get." What an expression that fellow had on his face.
别再玩欲擒故纵的游戏了。”那家伙脸上的表情是怎样的。
For a moment, his mouth, his nostrils, his eyes, and each eyebrow seemed to burst with separate looks of stunned confusion, outrage, remorse, and panic.
一时间，他的嘴、鼻孔、眼睛、眉毛，似乎都迸发出了错愕、困惑、愤怒、悔恨和惊慌的表情。
Then, in an instant, he recovered-- a true professional.
然后，刹那间，他恢复了——一个真正的专业人士。
And he asked me, "So did you bring any other kinds of notes?" I had to admit, Pico was right-- great idea.
他问我：“那么你还带了其他类型的笔记吗？”我不得不承认，皮科是对的——好主意。
Back in the lobby, Pico stood with two janitors by a big TV set.
回到大厅，皮科和两名看门人站在一台大电视机旁边。
And as I walked out into the bright, blurry morning sun, they applauded and whistled and called after me, "Good job, man.
当我走进明亮、模糊的早晨阳光时，他们鼓掌、吹口哨，在我身后喊道：“干得好，伙计。
Good job."
干得好。”
Davy Rothbart, he's the creator of Found Magazine.
Davy Rothbart，他是《Found》杂志的创始人。
And he writes essays and books.
他还写论文和书籍。
You can find his work at myheartisanidiotbook.com.
您可以在 myheartisanidiotbook.com 上找到他的作品。
Act Four: Function Of The Heart Ira Glass Act Four, Function of the Heart.
第四幕：心脏的功能 Ira Glass 第四幕，心脏的功能。
When you're a kid and you're frustrated with something in your life, your strategies are kind of limited for how you can fix what's wrong.
当你还是个孩子的时候，当你对生活中的某些事情感到沮丧时，你的解决问题的策略就会受到限制。
When Elspeth was a kid, she saw an opening.
当艾紫培还是个孩子的时候，她看到了一个机会。
She got an idea.
她想到了一个主意。
And she got results.
她得到了结果。
She definitely got results.
她肯定得到了结果。
Mainly, she wanted to get closer to her dad, who was a doctor.
主要是，她想与身为医生的父亲更加亲近。
She says what she knew about him already was mostly, well, he worked in a hospital with a lot of old men.
她说她对他的了解主要是，嗯，他在一家医院和很多老人一起工作。
It was always a relationship where I was always just desperate for attention and for knowledge of him.
在这种关系中，我总是渴望得到他的关注和了解。
I wanted to know what he was like, what he did, what he was interested in.
我想知道他是什么样的人，他做什么，他对什么感兴趣。
And he was extremely un-forthcoming on every front.
而且他在各方面都极其不乐于助人。
So I would ask him things like, where are you going?
所以我会问他类似这样的问题：你要去哪里？
And he would say, out.
他会说，出去。
And I would say, out where?
我会说，在哪里？
And he would say, just out.
他会说，刚出去。
And it would turn into that kind of incredibly frustrating word game, which he would-- he would sort of treat it as though this was playful fun.
这会变成一种令人难以置信的令人沮丧的文字游戏，他会——他会把它当作一种好玩的乐趣。
And I just remember by the end of it, I was just enraged.
我只记得最后，我很生气。
Was he actually around?
他真的在附近吗？
Like would he be home at night?
比如他晚上会在家吗？
Yeah.
是的。
He was home.
他在家。
But it was important to him to have quiet.
但保持安静对他来说很重要。
So when he'd come home, he would want quiet.
所以当他回到家时，他想要安静。
And of course we were-- we would scream with enthusiasm that he would be there.
当然，我们会热情地尖叫他会在那里。
And he would be clearly kind of affronted with all the noise.
他显然会对所有的噪音感到冒犯。
So I was 11 sort of at the height of, I would say, desperation to get something from him.
所以我 11 岁的时候，我想说，最渴望从他那里得到一些东西。
And this was a thing that was set up by the Unitarian Church.
这是一神论教会设立的。
Parents would come in, and they would teach a little class in their specialty.
家长们会进来，他们会教授一些他们专业的课程。
And so my dad had volunteered.
所以我爸爸自愿的。
Being a doctor, he was going to give a class on the function of the heart.
作为一名医生，他要开设有关心脏功能的课程。
It was going to be on the function of the heart.
这将取决于心脏的功能。
And so I, of course, decided I was going to sign up for my dad's course.
所以我当然决定报名参加我父亲的课程。
Because I really wanted to finally figure out what he did.
因为我真的很想最终弄清楚他做了什么。
So one of my good friends, Ruthie, also signed up.
我的一位好朋友露西也报名了。
So there were the two of us.
于是就有了我们两个人。
And so he had gone out, and he had bought this at a butcher-- he'd gone to a butcher and brought this massive, raw, bloody cow heart in to demonstrate the function of the heart.
于是他就出去了，他在一家屠夫那里买了这个——他去了一家屠夫那里，把这颗巨大的、生的、血淋淋的牛心脏带了进来，以展示心脏的功能。
So the class begins and you see this bloody heart.
所以课程开始了，你看到了这颗该死的心。
And automatically, are you horrified to start because you thought it would be something else?
自然而然地，你会因为认为这会是别的东西而害怕开始吗？
Oh, no, no. I was quite riveted.
哦，不，不。我非常着迷。
No, very cool-looking, and actually genuinely interested in the topic as well.
不，看起来很酷，而且实际上也对这个话题真正感兴趣。
And so he had sliced open the heart, and he opened it up.
所以他切开了心脏，他打开了它。
And we went through the various functions of the heart.
我们了解了心脏的各种功能。
And then he would ask questions.
然后他会问问题。
And there are two of us in the class.
而且班上有我们两个人。
And even so, I raised my hand every time.
即便如此，我每次还是举手。
And I don't just raise my hand.
我不只是举手。
I raise my hand like, uh, uh, uh.
我举起手，嗯嗯嗯。
"It's me.
“是我。
I know the answer.
我知道答案。
I have this.
我有这个。
This is the question.
这就是问题所在。
This is the question." Yeah.
这就是问题所在。”是的。
And then he would pause.
然后他会停顿一下。
And Ruth would be sitting there quite quietly, and then he would ask what my question would be.
露丝会安静地坐在那里，然后他会问我的问题是什么。
And then I would ask the question.
然后我会问这个问题。
And then he would explain and go into a long, long explanation.
然后他会解释，并进行很长很长的解释。
And he's a very quiet man.
而且他是一个非常安静的人。
He's a very, very quiet person, not used to speaking.
他是一个非常非常安静的人，不习惯说话。
So the explanations would go on for quite some time.
所以解释会持续相当长一段时间。
And then he would ask another question.
然后他会问另一个问题。
And I would again raise my hand-- and not just raise it, but pump it.
我会再次举起手——不仅仅是举起，而是挥动。
I would pump my arm.
我会抽动我的手臂。
And so the whole class was just me dominating the classroom over Ruthie, my very dear friend who was the soul of discretion throughout-- very subtle, kind of acute reading of the room dynamic, I would say, for an 11-year-old.
因此，整个班级只有我在课堂上占据主导地位，露丝是我非常亲爱的朋友，她自始至终都是谨慎的灵魂——我想说，对于一个 11 岁的孩子来说，她对房间动态的解读非常微妙、敏锐。
Stayed right out of it.
置身事外。
And that was the class.
这就是班级。
And after that class, I felt great.
在那堂课之后，我感觉很棒。
I loved it.
我喜欢它。
I felt like I'd had this great class with my dad.
我觉得我和爸爸一起上了这堂很棒的课。
That he saw your smart questions, and that he actually answered your questions, and gave you the attention.
他看到了你的聪明问题，并且他实际上回答了你的问题，并给予了你关注。
That's right.
这是正确的。
And that I finally had some evidence about what it was that he actually did.
我终于有了一些证据证明他到底做了什么。
It was a great moment.
这是一个伟大的时刻。
And I felt afterwards like I'd really kind of finally connected with my dad.
后来我觉得我终于和父亲建立了联系。
Just the poetry of it, of you in this classroom, this formal setting, with your dad-- and your best friend there for protection, basically-- and a bloody heart cut open, sitting there in between you.
这就是它的诗意，你在这个教室里，在这个正式的环境中，有你的父亲——基本上还有你最好的朋友在那里提供保护——还有一颗血淋淋的心被切开，坐在你们之间。
No. It's quite the tableau, yeah.
不，这确实是一个画面，是的。
But then, a couple of days later, my mother took me aside.
但几天后，妈妈把我拉到一边。
And she sort of raised the issue about how important it was to be a quiet person.
她提出了做一个安静的人有多么重要的问题。
You don't want to be the loud person.
你不想成为大声喧哗的人。
This was the message.
这就是消息。
You don't want to be the loud person.
你不想成为大声喧哗的人。
You want to be the quiet person.
你想成为一个安静的人。
And by the time she's saying that, I know exactly what she's telling me.
当她这么说的时候，我完全知道她在告诉我什么。
I had offended the sensibilities of my father, who would prefer that I was like Ruthie, the quiet person in the classroom.
我冒犯了父亲的感情，他希望我像露丝一样，在教室里安静的人。
So here I thought that I was doing the right thing.
所以在这里我认为我做的是正确的事情。
And then what I learned, after the fact, was that I had been loud and vulgar somehow and that I should have just shut up and been the quiet person.
事后我了解到，我不知何故大声粗俗，我应该闭嘴，做一个安静的人。
So you must've been completely mortified.
所以你一定已经彻底羞愧了。
I felt like a fool, I think, afterwards in some sense, that I had been so deluded, that I had gotten it so profoundly wrong.
我觉得自己像个傻瓜，后来从某种意义上说，我被欺骗了，我完全错了。
And so was it helpful that your mom gave you this information?
那么你妈妈给你的这些信息有帮助吗？
Or was it not so helpful in retrospect?
或者回想起来并没有那么有帮助？
It was helpful, but not in the sense that it was intended to be helpful.
它很有帮助，但并不是说它本来就是有帮助的。
What my mother was telling me was to become quiet.
我妈妈告诉我的是要保持安静。
And I just never did.
而我只是从来没有这样做过。
And so that advice was not helpful.
所以这个建议没有帮助。
But knowing that I should be quiet was helpful.
但知道我应该保持安静是有帮助的。
Because I knew that my dad was wrong.
因为我知道我爸爸错了。
And I knew-- I knew-- that my behavior was completely acceptable and, in fact, was a good thing.
我知道——我知道——我的行为是完全可以接受的，事实上，这是一件好事。
And that was a moment when I realized, I have to kind of strategize around this relationship in a way that a child shouldn't have to.
就在那一刻，我意识到，我必须以一种孩子不应该采取的方式围绕这种关系制定策略。
I've got to be more crafty about this in order to get through this childhood thing.
为了解决这个童年的问题，我必须更加狡猾。
I mean it's funny because the thing you're describing is this moment of a kid understanding that their parents really don't have it together all the time and are doing the wrong thing.
我的意思是这很有趣，因为你所描述的事情是一个孩子理解他们的父母实际上并没有一直在一起并且做错了事情的时刻。
And everybody has gone through that moment with their parents at some point.
每个人都曾在某个时刻与父母一起经历过那一刻。
And in a way, that's an amazing thing to have happen at 11.
从某种程度上来说，11 点发生的事情真是太神奇了。
Yeah.
是的。
And I did finally get to the point where I accepted the fact that I'm never going to be the quiet person.
我终于接受了这样一个事实：我永远不会成为一个安静的人。
I'm always going to be an enthusiastic person who, if I have a great question, I will pump my arm.
我永远是一个热情的人，如果我有一个很好的问题，我会挥动我的手臂。
And I will continue to offend him for the duration.
在此期间我将继续冒犯他。
And then, of course, I took up the trumpet, which is the world's loudest, most vulgar instrument-- at 11, now that I think of it.
然后，当然，我在11岁时拿起了小号，这是世界上最响亮、最粗俗的乐器——现在我想起来了。
So very shortly after this, I took up the trumpet.
不久之后，我拿起了小号。
I thought, what is the loudest possible instrument I could choose?
我想，我能选择的最响亮的乐器是什么？
So yeah, no, I went right for the trumpet.
所以是的，不，我直接选择了小号。
Elspeth Carruthers, she's executive director for the Neubauer Collegium for Society and Culture at the University of Chicago.
埃尔斯佩斯·卡拉瑟斯 (Elspeth Carruthers) 是芝加哥大学纽鲍尔社会与文化学院的执行董事。
Since we first broadcast this story, Elspeth's dad has died.
自从我们第一次播出这个故事以来，艾紫培的父亲就去世了。
He was 83.
他83岁了。
Credits Ira Glass Our program was produced today by Amy O'Leary and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Diane Cook, Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig, Chris Swetala, and Lisa Pollak.
图片来源 Ira Glass 我们今天的节目由艾米·奥利里 (Amy O'Leary) 和我本人、亚历克斯·布隆伯格 (Alex Blumberg)、黛安·库克 (Diane Cook)、简·费尔特斯 (Jane Feltes)、莎拉·科尼格 (Sarah Koenig)、克里斯·斯韦塔拉 (Chris Swetala) 和丽莎·波拉克 (Lisa Pollak) 共同制作。
Our senior producer for today's show is Julie Snyder.
我们今天节目的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Production help from Alvin Melathe and Matt Tierney.
Alvin Melathe 和 Matt Tierney 提供制作帮助。
Music help from Jessica Hopper.
杰西卡·霍珀的音乐帮助。
Paul Bacon, the policeman who I talked to at the beginning of the program, is no longer a policeman.
节目开始时与我交谈的保罗·培根不再是警察了。
He's written a book about his experience as a cop.
他写了一本关于他作为警察经历的书。
It's called Bad Cop, New York's Least Likely Police Officer Tells All.
这就是《坏警察，纽约最不可能的警察讲述一切》。
Information at paulbacon.com.
信息请访问 paulbacon.com。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange.
《美国生活》由公共广播电台 PRX 发行。
Special thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia, who swears that thing he said to me about the way I look in the new shirt I bought-- he swears it's all a misunderstanding.
一如既往，特别感谢我们项目的联合创始人托里·马拉蒂亚 (Torey Malatia) 先生，他发誓他对我说的关于我买的新衬衫的样子——他发誓这完全是一场误会。
"I didn't mean to say that [BLEEP].
“我不是故意这么说的[BLEEP]。
It just came out, I swear to God."
它刚刚出来，我向上帝发誓。”
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
This American Life This American Life 与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。