288: Not What I Meant - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #288 | September 1, 2006 288: Not What I Meant Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 288 集 | 2006 年 9 月 1 日 288：不是我的意思 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Jonathan's a movie reviewer for a weekly newspaper in Chicago.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯·乔纳森是芝加哥一家周报的电影评论员。
And one day he got a kind of mysterious letter.
有一天，他收到了一封神秘的信。
First off, it was unsigned.
首先，它没有签名。
And it was an anonymous love letter typed with an old fashioned kind of typewriter that's like where the letters are part black and part read because it's like stuck in the ribbon between the two.
这是一封用老式打字机打出的匿名情书，字母部分是黑色的，部分是已读的，因为它就像卡在两者之间的丝带中一样。
Right.
正确的。
I remember those.
我记得那些。
Jonathan Rosenbaum And as I recall, there wasn't any return address of any kind.
乔纳森·罗森鲍姆（Jonathan Rosenbaum）：我记得，没有任何类型的回信地址。
Now you have in your hand a copy of the text of the letter.
现在您手中已有这封信的正文副本。
Could I ask you to read it?
我可以请你读一下吗？
Yeah, OK.
是的，好的。
"Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
“亲爱的，你知道我有多爱你吗？
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
我还没迈出一步就已经爱上了。
Did I trip?
我绊倒了吗？
Did I stumble?
我绊倒了吗？
Lose my balance?
失去平衡？
Graze my knee?
擦伤我的膝盖？
Graze my heart?
掠过我的心吗？
You were all wrong for me and I know it, but I can no longer care for my thoughts unless they're thoughts of you."
你对我来说都是错的，我知道这一点，但我不再关心我的想法，除非它们是关于你的。”
And so, what did you think?
那么，你觉得怎么样？
Jonathan Rosenbaum Well, I thought, I do get all kinds of both friendly and extremely sometimes unfriendly letters from readers.
乔纳森·罗森鲍姆 嗯，我想，我确实收到了来自读者的各种各样的来信，既有友好的，也有有时极其不友好的。
And it was not something I brooded over, but I didn't throw the letter away.
我并没有考虑这件事，但我并没有扔掉这封信。
In a way, I kind of felt a little flattered and curious about who might have written it.
在某种程度上，我有点受宠若惊，也很好奇是谁写的。
And pleased.
并很高兴。
So then, a few weeks later, Jonathan goes to a screening of a new film, a foreign director's first American movie, with Kate Capshaw and Ellen DeGeneres.
几周后，乔纳森去看了一部新电影的放映，这是外国导演与凯特·卡普肖和艾伦·德杰尼勒斯主演的第一部美国电影。
And he's sitting there in the theater and there on the screen somebody picks up and reads a letter.
他坐在剧院里，屏幕上有人拿起并读一封信。
Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
亲爱的，你知道我有多爱你吗？
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
我还没迈出一步就已经爱上了。
Did I trip?
我绊倒了吗？
Did I stumble?
我绊倒了吗？
Lose my balance?
失去平衡？
Graze my knee?
擦伤我的膝盖？
Graze my heart?
掠过我的心吗？
And then it became clear that what I was sent was a promotional device by the studio, DreamWorks, as a cutesy way of sort of screwing around with my head and the heads of other critics in order to promote their movie.
然后很明显，我收到的是梦工厂工作室的宣传工具，作为一种可爱的方式来玩弄我和其他评论家的头脑，以宣传他们的电影。
I felt like throwing up.
我感觉想吐。
In a way, like the indignity of it, you know what I mean?
在某种程度上，就像它的侮辱一样，你明白我的意思吗？
You're having this little fond feeling and then just, oh, it's for a marketing campaign.
你有一种小小的喜欢的感觉，然后只是，哦，这是为了一场营销活动。
And in a way, see what the feeling was about was, oh my God, I've got to meet this person.
在某种程度上，看看那种感觉是什么，天哪，我必须见见这个人。
It's so exciting.
太令人兴奋了。
There was a little excitement to it.
心里有一点兴奋。
But I also, in other words, was not absolutely sure it was real.
但换句话说，我也不能完全确定它是真的。
I wanted it to be real.
我希望它是真实的。
And I felt that in a sense that because you're being tricked almost into kind of like you're having your flattery stroked with something like a love letter, I found it particularly insidious.
我觉得从某种意义上说，因为你几乎被欺骗了，就像你用情书之类的东西来抚慰你一样，我发现它特别阴险。
What's interesting about all this is that the movie itself was called The Love Letter.
有趣的是，这部电影本身被称为《情书》。
And in the movie, one person after another picks up this anonymous letter and each person thinks that it's meant for them.
在电影中，一个又一个的人拿起这封匿名信，每个人都认为这是写给他们的。
And then, each person in the movie, starts eyeing people, seeing them in this whole new light as they wonder, is this the person who sent me the letter?
然后，电影中的每个人都开始注视人们，以全新的眼光看待他们，他们想知道，这就是给我寄信的人吗？
The point is, I guess, the letter, through its sheer vagueness, can mean what anyone wants it to mean.
我想，重点是，这封信尽管十分模糊，却可以表达任何人想要表达的意思。
That is, as long as the meaning involves love and them.
也就是说，只要意义涉及爱和他们。
It's specifically designed to do that within the movie, so I guess that it becomes an extension of that, I guess, to do that to the critics.
它是专门为在电影中做到这一点而设计的，所以我想它成为了这一点的延伸，我想，是为了向影评人做到这一点。
So in that sense, they're trying to prove a point, I guess you could say.
所以从这个意义上说，他们试图证明一个观点，我想你可以说。
But then when I discovered that it was a publicity stunt, it really made me feel idiotic and embarrassed.
但后来当我发现这是一个宣传噱头时，着实让我觉得自己很白痴，很尴尬。
And you know, it was not a good feeling.
你知道，这不是一种好感觉。
What's amazing is how often this happens when there's no prank involved.
令人惊奇的是，在没有恶作剧的情况下，这种情况经常发生。
How often something is said or done that gets completely misinterpreted because somebody adds their own assumptions to it.
由于有人添加了自己的假设，所说或所做的事情经常被完全误解。
Well, today on our radio show, we have three stories like that.
嗯，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们有三个这样的故事。
In the first, the stakes are frighteningly high.
首先，风险高得可怕。
A series of misunderstandings that can ruin someone's life.
一系列的误解可能会毁掉一个人的一生。
In the second, an act we're calling Cat Got Your Tongue, David Sedaris discusses gossip.
在我们称之为“猫舌头”的第二幕中，大卫·塞达里斯讨论了八卦。
In our third act, Romance Languages, is about unavoidable misunderstandings in two of the things that people care about most: sports and love.
在我们的第三幕《浪漫语言》中，讲述的是人们最关心的两件事中不可避免的误解：运动和爱情。
From WBEZ Chicago it's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International, I'm Ira Glass.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》由国际公共广播电台发行，我是 Ira Glass。
It's our Not What I Meant show.
这是我们的“Not What I Meand”节目。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
This is a story of a huge, rolling growing misunderstanding, the kind where one wrong assumption piles up against another and another and another.
这是一个关于一个巨大的、不断增长的误解的故事，在这种误解中，一个错误的假设与另一个错误的假设相互叠加。
And when it begins, Shaheen is an ordinary American citizen.
当故事开始时，沙欣是一名普通的美国公民。
By the time it's done, he's come to the attention of the Defense Department at the very highest levels.
当一切完成时，他已经引起了国防部最高层的注意。
And possibly also, the President of the United States.
也可能是美国总统。
It begins with what Shaheen and his girlfriend, Molly, call, the incident.
事情始于沙欣和他的女朋友莫莉所说的事件。
Shaheen is an American, but he was born in Afghanistan.
沙欣是美国人，但他出生在阿富汗。
And he worked there for a while in his 20s.
他20多岁的时候就在那里工作过一段时间。
And in Tajikistan doing humanitarian aid work.
并在塔吉克斯坦开展人道主义援助工作。
He ran a project setting up emergency housing, for instance, for refugees after the Taliban fell.
例如，他负责一个为塔利班垮台后的难民建立紧急住房的项目。
Gabrielle Galanek talked to Molly and Shaheen about what happened next, when Shaheen returned to the United States.
加布里埃尔·加拉内克 (Gabrielle Galanek) 与莫莉和沙欣谈论了沙欣回到美国后发生的事情。
He came home to Santa Fe in 2002 and tried to figure out what to do next.
2002 年，他回到圣达菲的家中，试图弄清楚下一步该做什么。
He began applying to graduate schools, hooked up with his old friends, and he was a little bored in looking for something to do.
他开始申请研究生院，和他的老朋友交往，他对找事做感到有点无聊。
And without telling anyone, he decided to do a little art project, just for fun.
在没有告诉任何人的情况下，他决定做一个小艺术项目，只是为了好玩。
To stencil these figures on the sidewalk of Santa Fe.
将这些人物印在圣达菲的人行道上。
They looked like skinny alien creatures, sort of like frog men.
他们看起来就像瘦骨嶙峋的外星生物，有点像青蛙人。
The stencil was a plastic toy he found in his sister's yard and just laid on the sidewalk and spray painted around.
这个模板是他在姐姐院子里发现的一个塑料玩具，放在人行道上并在周围喷漆。
And the idea was to have these proliferate sort of somewhat magically.
我们的想法是让这些物质以某种神奇的方式扩散。
It just was going to be this fun, random thing that started sprouting up, the frog men.
青蛙人这个有趣、随机的事情开始萌芽。
That's really all it was for me.
这就是我的全部。
At the time, Molly had just started going out with Shaheen and she'd seen the frog men and had her suspicions.
当时，莫莉刚刚开始和沙欣约会，她看到了青蛙人并产生了怀疑。
I didn't know that he was doing it.
我不知道他在这么做。
But then I guess once or twice we were walking around the city and one of these frogs was on the sidewalk.
但后来我想有一两次我们在城市里散步时，其中一只青蛙就在人行道上。
And I just started to walk by it.
我刚刚开始走过它。
Shaheen goes, hey, what's that?
沙欣走了过来，嘿，那是什么？
And he did it in this way that I was like, uh-huh, this is the thing.
他这样做的方式让我觉得，嗯，就是这样。
But then I tried to accuse him of it and he just denied it.
但后来我试图指责他，他却否认了。
The night of the incident began as an utterly normal Sunday night.
事件发生当晚是一个完全正常的周日晚上。
We decided that we've been dating for like two weeks or so, and we're ready to have a party where Shaheen's going to meet some of my friends.
我们决定约会两周左右，我们准备举办一个聚会，沙欣将在会上与我的一些朋友见面。
And so we decided to have this dinner.
所以我们决定吃这顿晚餐。
And I had heard from other friends that Shaheen is like this great cook and that he makes this great chicken curry.
我从其他朋友那里听说沙欣就像一位伟大的厨师，他做的咖喱鸡很棒。
So Shaheen calls me up and he's like, OK, I'm going to bring over the chicken.
所以沙欣打电话给我，他说，好吧，我要把鸡带过来。
I want you to have these things and then he's like, do you have a good knife at your house?
我希望你拥有这些东西，然后他说，你家里有一把好刀吗？
And I was like, you know, I don't really have a good knife.
我当时想，你知道，我真的没有一把好刀。
And he's like, you know what?
他就像，你知道吗？
My stepfather has got really nice knives and I'll just bring one over.
我继父有一把非常好的刀，我就带一把过来。
And so at the end of the night-- Shaheen had been staying over at my house occasionally and I just assumed he was going to stay at my house.
所以到了晚上，沙欣偶尔会在我家过夜，我只是以为他会住在我家。
It was like 12 o'clock at night or something.
那时大概是晚上12点左右。
He's like, I've got to go.
他说，我得走了。
You know, I'm going to go.
你知道，我要去。
And I was like, you're going to leave now?
我当时想，你现在要走了吗？
Now?
现在？
And he's like, yeah, I've got to go.
他说，是的，我得走了。
Yeah, I have to go.
是的，我得走了。
Got to go to work early tomorrow morning.
明天一早还得去上班。
And I was like, OK, cool.
我当时想，好吧，酷。
That's fine.
没关系。
See you later.
稍后见。
And I kind of felt a little shafted, like, what's going on?
我有点感到有点被刺痛，就像，发生了什么事？
What's going on was that Shaheen was feeling euphoric.
所发生的事情是沙欣感到欣喜若狂。
They had a great night and he decided he was ready to reveal his secret identity to Molly by spray painting some frog men on her block along the route she walks every day.
他们度过了一个美好的夜晚，他决定准备向莫莉透露他的秘密身份，在她每天行走的路线上喷漆一些青蛙人。
So he puts on his rubber gloves and gets out his spray paint.
于是他戴上橡胶手套，拿出喷漆。
And so I put four or five of these on the ground.
所以我把四五个这样的东西放在地上。
And I want to go do one more and I see two cars are speeding up the street.
我想再去一次，我看到两辆车在街上加速。
They were just moving.
他们只是在移动。
You could hear the motors, they were accelerating.
你可以听到马达的声音，它们正在加速。
And as I see them, I dropped my materials there and I get up and I just continue walking down the street.
当我看到他们时，我把材料扔在那里，然后站起来，继续沿着街道走。
And sure enough, as the cars pull up I see it's like a Blazer police car and another squad car.
果然，当汽车停下来时，我看到它就像一辆 Blazer 警车和另一辆警车。
They've shined the lights on me and I stop and they say, how you doing, sir?
他们把灯照在我身上，我停下来，他们说，你好吗，先生？
And I say, fine.
我说，好吧。
They say, where you coming from?
他们说，你从哪里来？
Where's your car?
你的车在哪里？
I say, my car's down the street.
我说，我的车就在街上。
And they say, OK, well, why isn't your car at your girlfriend's house?
他们说，好吧，那为什么你的车不在你女朋友家里呢？
And I said, well.
我说，好吧。
Where's your girlfriend's house?
你女朋友的家在哪里？
And I said, uh.
我说，呃。
I just pointed because I didn't know her address at this point.
我只是指出，因为此时我不知道她的地址。
And so my story's already falling apart.
所以我的故事已经分崩离析了。
And this whole time I have these rubber gloves on my hands.
一直以来我手上都戴着橡胶手套。
They asked me, what about the gloves?
他们问我，手套怎么样？
What about the gloves?
手套呢？
They say.
他们说。
And I said, well, my friends and I have been painting at my girlfriend's house.
我说，好吧，我和我的朋友一直在我女朋友家里画画。
We paint.
我们画画。
So they don't like this story and it's already coming apart.
所以他们不喜欢这个故事，而且这个故事已经分崩离析了。
And they asked me if they can search the car.
他们问我是否可以搜查汽车。
I was taking this law course in community college to get into school and the whole idea of having some sort of civil rights was something that I thought I'd want to try and test out.
我在社区大学学习法律课程以进入学校，我想尝试和测试拥有某种公民权利的整个想法。
And I said, no, you can't search my car.
我说，不，你不能搜查我的车。
And that took the whole confrontation up to the next step.
这使得整个对抗进入了下一步。
The guys cuffed me.
那帮人给我戴上手铐。
They said, if you want to play hardball, you want to play tough, we'll play tough with you.
他们说，如果你想采取强硬态度，你想采取强硬态度，我们就会对你采取强硬态度。
And that was it.
就是这样。
They held me there for about five minutes, got on their radio, came back and said, you're under arrest.
他们把我扣在那里大约五分钟，然后打开无线电，回来说，你被捕了。
And so I tried to kind of speak with them.
所以我尝试与他们交谈。
You know, what's the deal?
你知道，这是怎么回事？
Why am I under arrest here?
为什么我会被逮捕在这里？
What's happening?
发生什么事了？
And I finally get out of the officer, well, we got a call from a woman who says you were in her yard and her dogs were barking and that you ran away.
我终于摆脱了警察，好吧，我们接到一个女人的电话，她说你在她的院子里，她的狗在吠叫，你逃跑了。
And I said, I'm sorry officer, I have no idea what you're talking about.
我说，对不起，警官，我不知道你在说什么。
I was in no yard.
我不在院子里。
I heard no dogs barking.
我没有听到狗叫。
I've been in this neighborhood for a little while walking around.
我在这附近逛了一段时间。
There was nothing.
什么也没有。
And he says, oh yeah, so where have you've been?
他说，哦，是的，那你去哪儿了？
And I was faced with this sort of decision of whether I should reveal and sort of start coming clean or not.
我面临着是否应该透露并开始坦白的决定。
And I chose the former and I said, well, look, I'm not a prowler.
我选择了前者，我说，好吧，听着，我不是一个徘徊者。
In fact, if you want to know what I'm doing, I've been painting on the sidewalk.
事实上，如果你想知道我在做什么，我一直在人行道上画画。
And if you want to know where my stuff is, if you see right there on the corner there in front of the car there's a big blue mailbox and you'll find that there is several spray cans and a stencil.
如果你想知道我的东西在哪里，如果你看到车前的拐角处有一个蓝色的大邮箱，你会发现有几个喷雾罐和一个模板。
And that's what I've been using.
这就是我一直在使用的。
If you go around this block you'll find that those are there as well.
如果你绕过这个街区，你会发现那些也在那里。
So I could see this guy shaking his head, just being like, who is this dumb kid in the back of the car.
所以我可以看到这个人摇着头，就像，车后座的这个傻孩子是谁。
And he told me, he said, you don't need to say that.
他告诉我，他说，你不需要这么说。
That wasn't very smart for you to say.
你这么说不太聪明。
After a few hours another guy comes.
几个小时后，另一个人来了。
And he invites me into his car, which is an unmarked Marquis kind of a car.
他邀请我坐进他的车，那是一辆没有标记的侯爵车。
And he puts me in the back and I get introduced to Chris Warner.
他把我放在后面，然后我被介绍给克里斯·华纳。
And he says, special agent-- I believe he was a special agent-- Chris Warner from the FBI.
他说，特工——我相信他是一名特工——联邦调查局的克里斯·华纳。
And he says, would you like some heat?
他说，你想要一些热气吗？
You know, turns the heat on.
你知道，打开暖气。
Like some music?
喜欢一些音乐？
And he puts on some soft rock or something.
他放了一些软摇滚之类的东西。
And I'm just like, what is going on here?
我就想，这是怎么回事？
So I can now get a good look at my car.
所以我现在可以好好看看我的车了。
And what's going on there is both doors-- it's a three door car.
两扇门都有——这是一辆三门车。
Both doors are open.
两扇门都开着。
The back is open.
背面是开放的。
And all the stuff is being pulled out of it.
所有的东西都被从里面拉出来。
And there are four or five policemen there.
那里有四五个警察。
And all these cars have their lights pointed at the car.
所有这些汽车的灯都指向汽车。
The whole neighborhood is lit up from these flashing lights.
整个街区都被这些闪烁的灯光照亮。
And I see people taking stuff out, like very surgically and putting them into these Ziploc bags.
我看到人们像外科手术一样取出东西并将它们放入这些密封袋中。
And then what I see is that they have assembled what I vaguely make out is a collage and they're showing it around to each other.
然后我看到的是，他们已经组装了我隐约看到的拼贴画，并且正在互相展示。
Photos?
照片？
Shaheen Photos from my car.
Shaheen 我车上的照片。
And then it starts dawning on me that the photos that they're looking at were a set of photos that have just been floating around in the back of my car, a little group of photos that I took when I finished-- when I did the last trip to Afghanistan.
然后我开始意识到，他们正在看的照片是一组刚刚漂浮在我车后座上的照片，是我上次去阿富汗时拍的一组照片。
It was an office relocation from Tajikistan to Shambe to Kabul.
这是办公室从塔吉克斯坦搬迁到尚贝再到喀布尔。
I hired a bunch of these like Russian truck driver in Tajikistan.
我雇佣了一群这样的人，比如塔吉克斯坦的俄罗斯卡车司机。
We loaded all the equipment up from our office.
我们从办公室装载了所有设备。
And this is the first time these guys have been in Afghanistan, so it was this exuberant period for us.
这是这些人第一次来到阿富汗，所以这对我们来说是一个充满活力的时期。
And when we got to Kabul, we also went to a place called Chicken Street, which is a street that has woodwork and old artisan stuff and Russian stuff and just guns, old, British guns, Kalashnikovs.
当我们到达喀布尔时，我们还去了一个叫鸡街的地方，这条街有木制品、旧工匠的东西和俄罗斯的东西，只有枪，旧的英国枪，卡拉什尼科夫冲锋枪。
And we went into one of these stores with a bunch of guns in it, and my program coordinator wanted to put all this Afghan stuff on and dress like a Mujahideen and take photos.
我们走进其中一家商店，里面放着一堆枪，我的项目协调员想穿上所有这些阿富汗物品，穿得像圣战者并拍照。
And he did it with a truck driver.
他和一名卡车司机一起做了这件事。
And you know, they're totally vacation shots.
你知道，它们完全是度假照片。
If you had been in Disneyland you would have done the same thing.
如果你去过迪士尼乐园，你也会做同样的事情。
And so they got all donned up in this stuff, these sort of hats and these-- what do you call them?
所以他们都穿上了这些东西，这些帽子和这些——你叫它们什么？
Straps of bullets, shoulders, and guns, and they took this series of photos.
子弹带、肩膀、枪，他们拍了这一系列的照片。
And then it began to dawn on me that there was a whole new level to this investigation that's all of a sudden-- that I'm seeing this new level now.
然后我开始意识到，这项调查突然达到了一个全新的水平——我现在看到了这个新的水平。
And it was like, oh, wow.
就像，哦，哇。
The painting thing began to fade and I began to realize that there's all this other stuff in my car.
油漆的东西开始褪色，我开始意识到我的车里还有所有其他的东西。
I had ministry of foreign affairs.
我曾担任外交部。
When you're in Tajikistan you have to have special certification to be there from the government and there are these little cards.
当您在塔吉克斯坦时，您必须获得政府的特殊证明才能到达那里，并且有这些小卡片。
I had a few of those in my wallet.
我钱包里有一些。
And my passport, it's an old passport that I've just been using for quite a while.
还有我的护照，是一本我刚刚使用了一段时间的旧护照。
And it's really an incriminating one if you don't know what I was doing, or why, or what kind of business I was in.
如果你不知道我在做什么、为什么做、或者我从事什么样的行业，那确实是有罪的。
And if you thumbed through this passport, I mean, there are visas from Tajikistan, several visas in Turkey.
如果你翻阅这本护照，我的意思是，有来自塔吉克斯坦的签证，还有几个来自土耳其的签证。
This attachment, there's a visa from Kazakhstan, Kabul International Airport, Republic of Korea, Islamic Republic of Pakistan.
这个附件是来自哈萨克斯坦、喀布尔国际机场、韩国、巴基斯坦伊斯兰共和国的签证。
They pull out the knife, my chicken knife.
他们拔出刀，我的鸡刀。
It's this big, German chef's knife.
这是一把大德国厨师刀。
And they're pulling this thing out and I see them handing it around to each other.
他们把这个东西拿出来，我看到他们互相把它递给对方。
I just see like every check on their book.
我只是看到他们书上的每张支票。
It's like, you know, check, check, every suspicious thing that could possibly have been there, was.
就像，你知道，检查，检查，所有可能存在的可疑事物都存在。
They take Shaheen to the police precinct and usher him into a special interrogation room.
他们将沙欣带到警察局，并把他带进一个特殊的审讯室。
In the room are two other FBI agents.
房间里还有另外两名联邦调查局特工。
There's one FBI agent who looks completely disheveled.
一名联邦调查局特工看上去衣衫不整。
He has a tie on, but his collar is all stuck up on one end and it's up on the back.
他打着领带，但领子的一端全部竖起来，而且翻到了后面。
And his hair is disheveled and his shirt's coming out.
他的头发乱糟糟的，衬衫也露出来了。
These poor guys, these FBI guys have been called up from Albuquerque, which is an hour away.
这些可怜的家伙，这些联邦调查局的家伙是从阿尔伯克基打电话过来的，距离这里只有一个小时的路程。
Then they sort of the began the questions and about two minutes into it, the door knocks and a gentleman walks in.
然后他们开始提问，大约两分钟后，门被敲响，一位绅士走了进来。
And everybody stands up.
每个人都站起来。
And this guy's dressed very well, short hair.
而且这家伙穿得很好，短发。
He's got a nice black suit on, black shoes.
他穿着一套漂亮的黑色西装，黑色的鞋子。
I mean, good to go.
我的意思是，很好。
And he introduces himself as Brian of the Secret Service.
他介绍自己是特勤局的布莱恩。
And they all shake his hand, shake his hand, shake his hand.
他们都握着他的手，握着他的手，握着他的手。
He looks at me, I'm kind of dumbfounded.
他看着我，我有点傻眼了。
He's like, you know, this is the guy who's brought us in here.
他就像，你知道，就是这个人把我们带到这里的。
He finds a seat in the corner of the room behind everybody.
他在每个人后面的房间角落找到了一个座位。
He sits down, opens up his little notebook, crosses his legs and says, don't mind me, guys.
他坐下来，打开他的小笔记本，盘起双腿说，别介意我，伙计们。
Go ahead.
前进。
And the questions.
还有问题。
Then they start asking these questions.
然后他们开始问这些问题。
And one of the first questions they ask is about Molly.
他们问的第一个问题就是关于莫莉的。
They want to know where she lives.
他们想知道她住在哪里。
And I don't even really know where she lives.
我什至都不知道她住在哪里。
You knew where I lived.
你知道我住在哪里。
Shaheen I knew where you lived, but I couldn't give the street address and the number.
沙欣，我知道你住在哪里，但我无法提供街道地址和电话号码。
I described to them where she lives and one of the officers, this FBI guy say, I think I got it.
我向他们描述了她住的地方，其中一名联邦调查局人员说，我想我明白了。
I'm going to go down there.
我要去那里。
Suddenly, I wake up and I just-- I wake up to the sound of like someone pounding on my door.
突然，我醒了，我只是听到有人敲门的声音。
Like, pound, pound, pound.
就像，磅，磅，磅。
And I'm freaking out.
我吓坏了。
I'm really, really nervous and I'm shaking really hard, like something's going on.
我真的非常非常紧张，浑身颤抖得厉害，就像发生了什么事情一样。
And this guy yells, FBI.
这家伙大喊，FBI。
And he put a badge against the window.
他在窗户上贴了一枚徽章。
They basically say, we want to ask you a few questions about tonight.
他们基本上是说，我们想问你一些关于今晚的问题。
What happened?
发生了什么？
We know you had a party and we need to know who was here.
我们知道您举办了聚会，我们需要知道谁来了。
And I said, oh, my friends from work and my boyfriend.
我说，哦，我的工作朋友和我的男朋友。
Who is your boyfriend?
你男朋友是谁？
And I told them his name.
我告诉他们他的名字。
What's his last name?
他姓什么？
And I said, I don't know.
我说，我不知道。
I don't know his last name at this point.
目前我还不知道他的姓氏。
And they're kind of like, you don't know your boyfriend's last name?
他们有点像，你不知道你男朋友的姓氏？
And I'm like, OK, he's not my boyfriend.
我想，好吧，他不是我的男朋友。
How much do you know about this guy?
你对这个人了解多少？
What do you know about him?
你对他了解多少？
And they just launch into this series of questions.
他们只是提出这一系列问题。
Has he ever touched your computer?
他碰过你的电脑吗？
And I'm like, well, I just got a new computer actually and yes.
我想，好吧，我实际上刚刚买了一台新电脑，是的。
I'm thinking in my head, yes, he's touched my computer.
我心里想，是的，他动了我的电脑。
Like he helped me program it.
就像他帮我编程一样。
And he helped me put the software on it.
他帮我安装了软件。
And I'm like, yeah, I mean, we use my computer all the time was my answer to the question.
我想，是的，我的意思是，我们一直使用我的电脑，这就是我对这个问题的回答。
He's like, has he ever used your computer alone?
他问，他曾经单独使用过你的电脑吗？
And I was like, no, I don't think so.
我当时想，不，我不这么认为。
No?
不？
And then, do you know if he likes flight simulator games?
然后，你知道他是否喜欢飞行模拟器游戏吗？
Is he obsessive about planes?
他对飞机有痴迷吗？
And the funny thing is that Shaheen really loves planes and he had told me a little bit about that.
有趣的是，沙欣真的很喜欢飞机，他告诉了我一些关于这方面的事情。
And I was like, I really don't know.
我当时想，我真的不知道。
I just don't know.
我只是不知道。
I'm sorry, I don't know.
抱歉，我不知道。
They asked me if I had been intimate with him.
他们问我是否和他很亲密。
And I said, are you asking me if I've slept with him or not?
我说，你是在问我有没有和他睡过吗？
And I kind of felt like, is the FBI wondering if I'm using protection or something?
我有点想，联邦调查局是否想知道我是否使用了保护措施或其他什么？
And then they start asking the same questions over and over and try to get me to slip up.
然后他们开始一遍又一遍地问同样的问题，并试图让我犯错。
And also, I've only been dating him for two weeks and I don't really know that much about him.
而且，我只和他约会了两周，我对他并不是很了解。
And in the back of my head I'm going, oh my God.
我的脑海里浮现出，天哪。
Maybe I am dating a terrorist.
也许我正在和一个恐怖分子约会。
You don't know.
你不知道。
Like I said, I never outright lied, but I skirted the truth 20 times in my conversation with the FBI and I don't know why.
就像我说的，我从来没有公然撒谎，但我在与 FBI 的谈话中 20 次回避了事实，我不知道为什么。
I just believed him.
我只是相信他。
That's what's really bizarre about the situation.
这就是情况真正奇怪的地方。
To some extent, maybe that's dangerous.
在某种程度上，这也许是危险的。
I could have just said, I don't know this guy.
我本可以说，我不认识这个人。
I'm not involved.
我没有参与。
But I put myself right in there when I made the decision to try to show them who I thought he was.
但当我决定尝试向他们展示我认为的他是谁时，我就把自己摆在了那里。
And to do that against sort of the grain of maybe what I should have done.
这样做可能违背了我应该做的事情。
You know, it's really hard to know.
你知道，这真的很难知道。
And finally, they left and it's Monday morning and my alarm is ringing as they're walking out the door.
最后，他们离开了，那是周一早上，当他们走出门时，我的闹钟响了。
I have to go to work and go to school and I don't know what to do.
我必须上班、上学，但我不知道该怎么办。
And I keep asking them again and again, where is he?
我不断地问他们，他在哪里？
Where have you taken him?
你带他去哪儿了？
They won't give me any information except he's arrested and he's in jail.
他们不会给我任何信息，除非他被捕入狱。
And I need to calm down, so I get out of the house and I start walking around.
我需要冷静下来，所以我走出家门，开始四处走动。
And there's all these new frogs, like all around my walk.
到处都是这些新青蛙，就像我散步的地方一样。
And that moment I'm like, OK, I know it's him.
那一刻我想，好吧，我知道是他。
Back at the station, Chris from the FBI and Brian from the Secret Service, and the other investigators keep questioning Shaheen.
回到警局，联邦调查局的克里斯和特勤局的布莱恩以及其他调查员不断审问沙欣。
They ask if they can search his house.
他们询问是否可以搜查他的房子。
He asked what would happen if he said no. They tell him they can get a warrant out of DC in 10 minutes.
他问如果他拒绝会发生什么。他们告诉他，他们可以在 10 分钟内拿到华盛顿特区的搜查令。
He agrees to the search.
他同意搜寻。
They tell him they want to check out his car one more time before they go.
他们告诉他，他们想在出发前再检查一次他的车。
So we're sitting in this big SUV in the impound lot and I'm looking at my car.
所以我们坐在扣押场的这辆大型SUV 里，我正在看我的车。
And Chris abruptly interrupts our conversation and turns to speak with Brian.
克里斯突然打断了我们的谈话，转而与布莱恩交谈。
And there's some murmuring going on.
还有一些窃窃私语正在发生。
And Chris leans back over to me and in his hand he has this flyer.
克里斯向后靠向我，手里拿着这张传单。
And Chris says, so what do we have here?
克里斯说，那么我们这里有什么呢？
And he folds opens this flyer and the flyer is-- the feeling in Santa Fe around Iraq was that we should not have gone to war with Iraq and that America's war with Iraq was something that was being aggressively pushed by a small group of people within the administration.
他折叠打开这张传单，传单上写着——伊拉克周围圣达菲的感觉是，我们不应该与伊拉克开战，而美国与伊拉克的战争是政府内部一小群人积极推动的。
And that one of the central figures in that group was Donald Rumsfeld.
该组织的核心人物之一是唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德。
Donald Rumsfeld has a house in Taos, New Mexico.
唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德在新墨西哥州陶斯有一所房子。
And this is the first time I had heard of it.
这是我第一次听说。
I actually was just riding my bike downtown and somebody handed me this flyer.
事实上，我当时正在市中心骑自行车，有人递给我这张传单。
I had gotten on my bike and I briefly looked at it and I nowhere to put it, so I just threw it in my backpack.
我骑上自行车，看了一眼，没地方放，就扔进背包里了。
And the flyer ended up in the back of my car.
传单最终停在了我的车后座上。
And so they said, what do we have here?
所以他们说，我们这里有什么？
Well, it was a picture of Donald Rumsfeld's head, a real picture of his head.
嗯，这是唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德的头像，是他头像的真实照片。
I believe it was in a pile of skulls.
我相信它在一堆头骨里。
And it was something like, crimes against humanity.
这就像反人类罪。
Don't go to Iraq.
别去伊拉克。
You know, stuff like this.
你知道，类似这样的事情。
And there's going to be a protest staged at his house.
他家将举行抗议活动。
When this thing opened up and I looked at it, I swallowed hard and I was like, yes, this is kind of-- this doesn't look good.
当这个东西打开时，我看着它，我艰难地吞咽了一口，我想，是的，这有点——这看起来不太好。
And I can see how this doesn't look good.
我可以看出这看起来不太好。
But come on, guys.
但是来吧，伙计们。
I mean, is it against the law to have a flyer?
我的意思是，持有传单违法吗？
And they're like, no, it's totally your right.
他们说，不，这完全是你的权利。
And they said, well, what do you think about Donald Rumsfeld?
他们说，好吧，你觉得唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德怎么样？
Brian said this.
布莱恩这样说。
What would you do if you met Donald Rumsfeld?
如果你遇到唐纳德拉姆斯菲尔德你会怎么做？
And I said, I'd question him.
我说，我会质问他。
What kind of questions?
什么样的问题？
Then they started getting into this line of questioning of, would you want to hurt him?
然后他们开始问这样的问题：你想伤害他吗？
Or do you have any violent inclinations towards him?
或者你对他有任何暴力倾向吗？
And I was like, whoa, guys.
我当时想，哇，伙计们。
Chill out.
冷静下来。
They're baiting me.
他们在引诱我。
I'm beginning to get aggravated in this situation.
在这种情况下我开始变得更加恼怒。
I'm like, I don't agree with Donald Rumsfeld.
我想，我不同意唐纳德拉姆斯菲尔德的观点。
I strongly disagree with him.
我强烈不同意他的观点。
And they're saying, well, what do you know?
他们说，好吧，你知道什么？
What do you know about Donald Rumsfeld?
您对唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德了解多少？
And I'm saying, not much.
我想说的是，不多。
And then, something does come up.
然后，确实出现了一些事情。
I know that his daughter-- they both perk up.
我知道他的女儿——他们俩都精神抖擞。
I know that his daughter lives in Santa Fe and his granddaughter goes to school here.
我知道他的女儿住在圣达菲，他的孙女在这里上学。
So I said that and I said-- And both Brian and Chris, they're like, and what else?
所以我这么说了，我说——布莱恩和克里斯，他们就像，还有什么？
What else do you know about her?
关于她你还知道什么？
And I was like, well, nothing else guys.
我当时想，好吧，没有别的事了，伙计们。
And they are just digging what I'm saying.
他们只是在挖掘我所说的内容。
They're like, Donald Rumsfeld, uh huh.
他们就像，唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德，嗯。
His daughter, uh huh, his granddaughter uh huh.
他女儿啊呵呵，他孙女啊呵呵。
OK.
好的。
They head to Shaheen's place, where they confiscate his computer, his CD and DVD collections, and various papers that are lying around.
他们前往沙欣的住处，没收了他的电脑、他收藏的 CD 和 DVD 以及散落在各处的各种文件。
They say they'll be in touch and turn him over to Santa Fe police, who take him straight to jail.
他们说他们会联系他并将他移交给圣达菲警方，后者将直接将他送进监狱。
He's there about 10 hours before he's finally sprung.
他在大约10个小时后才终于跳出来。
Molly's there waiting for him.
莫莉在那里等他。
The FBI still has all Shaheen's stuff and they start going through it, calling him to the office to talk about what they're finding.
联邦调查局仍然保留着沙欣的所有资料，他们开始仔细检查，并把他叫到办公室谈论他们的发现。
They're especially curious about emails they've read on his computer, emails about money transfers of thousands of dollars from an account in Dubai.
他们对在他的电脑上读到的电子邮件特别好奇，这些电子邮件涉及从迪拜的一个账户转出数千美元的资金。
These take him a while to explain.
这些需要他花一些时间来解释。
He has to make them understand how aid organizations do their work.
他必须让他们了解援助组织如何开展工作。
How you get cash into a country like Afghanistan, where there are no banks.
如何将现金存入像阿富汗这样没有银行的国家。
Meanwhile, Molly's getting checked out as well.
与此同时，莫莉也接受了检查。
One day, two investigators show up at her fourth grade classroom and after some questioning, take her out to her car.
有一天，两名调查员出现在她四年级的教室里，经过一番询问后，带她上了车。
There's a bumper sticker on the back of my car that said-- I think it said, "It's not unpatriotic to disagree." And I sort of tried to explain that to them.
我的车后面有一个保险杠贴纸，上面写着——我想它说的是，“不同意并不是不爱国。”我试图向他们解释这一点。
I said, no, really, what this is saying is that I believe in democracy.
我说，不，真的，这说明我相信民主。
I believe in the ideals this country is set up on.
我相信这个国家建立的理想。
They kind of shook their heads and wrote down the exact language of the bumper sticker and there was a little www dot something com.
他们摇摇头，写下了保险杠贴纸的确切语言，其中有一个小 www 点什么 com。
You know, go to this website.
你就知道，去这个网站吧。
They wrote all this information down and he said that they would be checking it out.
他们写下了所有这些信息，他说他们会检查一下。
And then they sort of said, well, I guess that's everything.
然后他们说，好吧，我想这就是全部了。
You can go now.
你现在可以走了。
As the weeks passed, Shaheen's story is checking out.
几周过去了，沙欣的故事正在得到证实。
And after a while, Chris is calling Shaheen in just to chat.
过了一会儿，克里斯打电话给沙欣来聊天。
We got to a certain point where we had developed a relationship, Chris and I, I think.
我想，克里斯和我已经发展到了某种关系。
I mean, I would be interested to hear his side of the story.
我的意思是，我有兴趣听听他的故事。
But we were at a point where I felt comfortable talking and so did Chris.
但我们正处于一个可以轻松交谈的阶段，克里斯也是如此。
And we discussed all sorts of things, like politics and government.
我们讨论了各种各样的事情，比如政治和政府。
And I think that the FBI may have felt that I had information that may have been useful to them in some regard.
我认为联邦调查局可能认为我掌握的信息在某些方面可能对他们有用。
And they said that outright during one encounter.
他们在一次会面中直接说了这句话。
I was asked whether or not I would be interested in being paid.
有人问我是否有兴趣获得报酬。
I was told that there are some people who had money who may be able to pay me for some information that I may be able to provide.
有人告诉我，有些有钱的人可能会付钱给我，以获取我可能提供的一些信息。
And they asked if I would be interested in doing that.
他们问我是否有兴趣这样做。
In all frankness, I thought they were just joking.
坦白说，我以为他们只是在开玩笑。
And I couldn't really conceive in what capacity I would work in.
我真的无法想象我将以什么身份工作。
But it was clear that they saw something in me that I didn't see in myself.
但很明显，他们在我身上看到了一些我自己没有看到的东西。
I was asked, do you want to go to Afghanistan?
有人问我，你想去阿富汗吗？
You know, let's go to Afghanistan together was the way that it was phrased.
你知道，它的措辞是“让我们一起去阿富汗”。
And I said, are you kidding?
我说，你在开玩笑吗？
And in my manner, sort of as a joke I said, you're going to have to grow a beard if you want to go to Afghanistan.
以我的方式，就像我开玩笑说的，如果你想去阿富汗，你就必须留胡子。
And the officer looked me straight in the face and said, give me a week.
警官直视着我的脸说，给我一个星期的时间。
I think they thought that I may have known about people, about groups of people, who had intentions.
我认为他们认为我可能了解一些有意图的人、一群人。
I mean, I think they thought that I could give them a key to al-Qaeda, or somebody involved with it.
我的意思是，我认为他们认为我可以给他们一把了解基地组织或参与该组织的人的钥匙。
I mean, they were at war.
我的意思是，他们当时正处于战争状态。
And this is what they told me, you know, Shaheen, we're at war here.
这就是他们告诉我的，你知道，沙欣，我们这里正处于战争状态。
And we need to really use everything at our disposal.
我们需要真正利用我们所能掌握的一切。
I had the feeling from them of like, you're really at a loss.
我从他们那里得到的感觉是，你真的不知所措。
You don't speak the language.
你不会说这种语言。
All the agents that I looked at were pretty much home boys.
我见过的所有经纪人几乎都是居家男孩。
To the point where I walked into Chris's office and I may be wrong on this, but I could have swore that I saw a book about etiquette in the Muslim world.
当我走进克里斯的办公室时，我可能是错的，但我可以发誓我看到了一本关于穆斯林世界礼仪的书。
And I don't take myself to be representative of the Muslim world.
我不认为自己是穆斯林世界的代表。
I'm not religious at all.
我根本不信教。
But I think for people who don't really know how to interact or who are with it, I am.
但我认为对于那些并不真正知道如何互动或与之相处的人来说，我是。
So those are the circumstances around which it seemed like they were looking for more information.
因此，在这些情况下，他们似乎正在寻找更多信息。
That changed as they got to know me better and they realized, you know what?
随着他们对我更加了解，情况发生了变化，他们意识到，你知道吗？
This guy's as dumb as he looks and as ignorant as he looks.
这家伙看上去就像是个傻瓜，看上去就像是个无知的家伙。
Once that was clear to them, then the trajectory of our discussion sort of shifted back into let's get to the bottom of this.
一旦他们清楚了这一点，我们讨论的轨迹就又回到了让我们追根溯源。
This period of me going into the FBI office and talking about my life and this sort of relationship that developed lasted for about three and a half months.
我进入FBI办公室谈论我的生活和这种发展起来的关系的这段时间持续了大约三个半月。
And the fact that everything that I'm saying, frankly, just totally checks out.
事实上，坦率地说，我所说的一切都完全正确。
There's nothing they can get on me.
他们拿我没办法。
Except the painting.
除了绘画。
When we sit down he asks me.
当我们坐下来时，他问我。
Every time I was going in there to sit with him he'd ask me, so what about the painting?
每次我去那里和他坐在一起，他都会问我，那么这幅画呢？
Can you tell me a bit more about the painting?
你能告诉我更多关于这幅画的信息吗？
We found another one in this neighborhood.
我们在附近又发现了一个。
So you were all over the city?
那么你走遍了整个城市吗？
And what were you doing in this neighborhood?
你在这附近做什么？
And he would say, I am going to tell you something that you really shouldn't know.
他会说，我要告诉你一些你不应该知道的事情。
I think this case has reached Donald Rumsfeld's desk.
我想这个案子已经到了唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德的办公桌上。
And I really wouldn't be surprised to hear the President saw it.
如果总统看到它，我真的不会感到惊讶。
You need to understand, Shaheen, that this case is really-- they want me to close the book on this, or to close the case I believe is what he said.
沙欣，你需要明白，这个案子确实是——他们希望我结束这本书，或者结束这个案子，我相信这就是他所说的。
What he meant was they really want me to find something that's incriminating in your case.
他的意思是他们真的希望我找到一些与你的案子有关的东西。
And you need to understand that.
你需要明白这一点。
Chris tells Shaheen that the higher ups in Washington will probably be convinced to drop the investigation if he takes a lie detector test.
克里斯告诉沙欣，如果他接受测谎仪测试，华盛顿的高层可能会被说服放弃调查。
In the beginning, he's not sure but he finally agrees and brings Molly along on the day of the polygraph.
一开始他还不确定，但最终他同意了，并在测谎当天带着莫莉一起去。
And I sat in the office with the FBI agent that led the investigation.
我和领导调查的联邦调查局特工坐在办公室里。
And then I felt like I couldn't ask him anything.
然后我觉得我不能问他任何事情。
I felt like if he was going to talk to me then he was going to talk to me.
我觉得如果他要跟我说话，那么他就会跟我说话。
And I had a newspaper on my lap and I sort of was pretending to read it, but feeling nervous about what was going on in the other room.
我腿上放着一份报纸，我假装在读它，但对另一个房间里发生的事情感到紧张。
And finally, he looks over and he says, so are you guys going anywhere for Christmas?
最后，他看了过来，说道，那么你们要去哪儿过圣诞节吗？
And I said, well, I think the two of us are going to go to Boston where my family is and I don't celebrate Christmas.
我说，好吧，我想我们两个要去波士顿，我的家人在那里，但我不庆祝圣诞节。
And he sort of perked up and he looked at me and he said, what do you celebrate then?
他有点精神起来，看着我说，那你庆祝什么？
And I said, well, I celebrate Hanukkah.
我说，好吧，我庆祝光明节。
And this huge smile just erupted on his face.
而这个巨大的笑容就在他的脸上爆发了。
He started chuckling.
他开始咯咯笑。
And I said, is that funny?
我说，这有趣吗？
He said, it's just the perfect ending to this case.
他说，这就是这个案子的完美结局。
Another reason to close this case.
结案的另一个原因。
Our big terrorist, our big Afghan terrorist would-be Muslim has this nice Jewish girlfriend from Boston.
我们的大恐怖分子，我们的阿富汗大恐怖分子潜在的穆斯林有一个来自波士顿的漂亮犹太女友。
So the polygraph's done and that's sort of the end of that chapter is what I'm thinking.
所以测谎仪已经完成了，我想这章就结束了。
And now I have to defend myself against this in Sante Fe city court.
现在我必须在圣菲市法院为自己辩护。
Remember, he's still got two misdemeanor charges from the first night: prowling and destroying public property with the painting he was doing everywhere, the painting of the frog men.
请记住，从第一晚开始，他仍然受到两项轻罪指控：带着他到处画的画，即青蛙人的画，潜行并破坏公共财产。
He doesn't have money for a lawyer, so he gets a copy of the police records with the idea that he could go talk to the woman whose dog barked that night, the woman who made the initial phone call to the police.
他没有钱请律师，所以他拿到了一份警方记录的副本，并想到他可以去和那天晚上狗叫的那个女人谈谈，也就是那个最初给警察打电话的女人。
Maybe he could get her to drop the prowling charge.
也许他可以让她放弃潜行指控。
He heads out to find her house.
他出去寻找她的家。
And so I'm cruising around the neighborhood with these records in hand.
所以我手里拿着这些记录在附近巡游。
And I'm in the same neighborhood where those marks are.
我就在那些标记所在的同一个街区。
And I see the address here and I end up at this little house at the end of this little dirt road.
我看到了这里的地址，最后我来到了这条小土路尽头的这座小房子。
It's kind of a Spanish style, Colonial style, Adobe house.
这是一种西班牙风格、殖民风格、土坯房。
Kind of a sprawling little home.
有点像一个宽敞的小房子。
A sprawling large home, actually.
实际上是一座宽敞的大房子。
And I go walk into the gate and there's a big dog at the door.
我走进大门，门口有一只大狗。
It's a large, white dog that is initially kind of aggressive.
这是一只白色的大狗，最初具有攻击性。
And I'm thinking, how am I going to get through this?
我在想，我该如何度过这个难关？
There are two big SUVs in the driveway.
车道上有两辆大型SUV。
And I kind of gesture to the dog.
我对狗做了个手势。
And the dog comes up to me very friendly.
那只狗非常友好地向我走来。
And so I pat the dog and I throw the dog a stick.
于是我拍拍狗，然后扔给狗一根棍子。
And that's it, we were friends from there.
就是这样，我们是那里的朋友。
I'm like, all right, great.
我想，好吧，太棒了。
So I walk into the front yard of this area and I'm looking in through these sliding glass doors.
所以我走进这个区域的前院，透过这些滑动玻璃门往里看。
I'm looking into a beautiful kitchen.
我正在寻找一个漂亮的厨房。
And nobody is there.
那里没有人。
And I knock on the glass.
我敲了敲玻璃。
To this point I haven't looked at who this person is.
到目前为止我还没有看清楚这个人是谁。
And so I finally look down on the record just as I'm glancing through it.
于是，当我浏览记录时，我终于低头看了一眼。
And I look on and there is this victim information and I see the address.
我看着，有受害者信息，我看到了地址。
You know, she's a woman.
你知道，她是个女人。
She's white.
她是白人。
She's 145 pounds.
她体重 145 磅。
She's non-Hispanic.
她不是西班牙裔。
Here's her social security number.
这是她的社会安全号码。
She's 5 foot 6, born in 1956.
她身高 5 英尺 6 英寸，出生于 1956 年。
And I go and knock on the door.
我去敲门。
And I knock on the door and I look at the name and it says Rumsfeld, Valerie.
我敲了敲门，看到名字，上面写着拉姆斯菲尔德，瓦莱丽。
And I [BLEEP] myself.
我自己也[发出哔哔声]。
I literally have a little spasm right there.
我确实有一点痉挛。
Valerie Rumsfeld.
瓦莱丽·拉姆斯菲尔德。
In that moment, it just hits me like a brick.
那一刻，它就像一块砖头击中了我。
All the pieces begin to come together.
所有的碎片开始组合在一起。
I understand why-- [SNAP] the painting.
我明白为什么——[猛拍]这幅画。
I get it.
我得到它。
This painting was to them, like some sort of terrorist scheme.
这幅画对他们来说就像某种恐怖计划。
It was targeting the neighborhood for an aerial bombardment or something.
它的目标是对附近地区进行空中轰炸或其他什么。
Who knows what it was?
谁知道那是什么？
You know, some private method of communication between terrorists or something.
你知道，恐怖分子之间的某种私人通讯方式之类的。
It all comes together.
这一切都结合在一起。
It's the painting.
就是那幅画。
And so that realization dawns on me and I look at the dog all of a sudden in a new light and I think, oh my God.
于是我突然意识到了这一点，我突然以一种新的眼光看待这只狗，我想，天啊。
This is the dog that Donald Rumsfeld probably takes to Taos with him and plays fetch with.
唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德可能会带着这只狗去陶斯玩玩接球游戏。
And I get these quivers in my hand.
我手里拿着这些箭袋。
I'm thinking, I just pet the dog that Donald Rumsfeld pets.
我在想，我只是抚摸唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德抚摸的狗。
And this dog jumps up on Donald Rumsfeld's lap late in the night when they're sitting smoking a cigar and watching the game.
深夜，当他们坐在一边抽着雪茄看比赛时，这只狗跳到了唐纳德·拉姆斯菲尔德的腿上。
It's just this eerie, eerie feeling comes over me.
只是这种怪异、怪异的感觉笼罩着我。
And I'm way too close for comfort all of a sudden.
我突然离得太近了，让我感到不舒服。
I just feel like I've really stepped into a dangerous situation.
我只觉得自己真的陷入了危险的境地。
And I take a step back and I'm looking up on the roof and I see these antennas that are sprouting out from a pile of snow right by the chimney.
我后退一步，抬头看着屋顶，看到这些天线从烟囱旁边的一堆雪中长出来。
And all of a sudden I kind of get a second feeling of ooziness, which is I'm probably being watched.
突然之间，我有了第二次浑浊的感觉，这就是我可能正在被监视。
And I walk off and get into my car and immediately call Chris.
我走开，钻进车里，立即打电话给克里斯。
I say, Chris, you're not going to believe this, but I'm here looking at the offense report and I'm looking at the person who lodged that complaint and it says Valerie Rumsfeld.
我说，克里斯，你不会相信这一点，但我正在看进攻报告，我正在看提出投诉的人，上面写着瓦莱丽·拉姆斯菲尔德。
And he's like, now, do you understand why we were so suspicious about you?
他说，现在你明白为什么我们对你如此怀疑了吗？
I'm like, yes, I finally understand.
我想，是的，我终于明白了。
I can't believe this.
我简直不敢相信这一点。
I can't believe this.
我简直不敢相信这一点。
And I said, yeah, I'm here right here outside of her driveway.
我说，是的，我就在她车道外面。
And I'm going to go speak with her.
我要去和她谈谈。
And he says, you're what?
他说，你是什么？
And I said, well, I'm here.
我说，好吧，我在这儿。
I want to go speak with her.
我想去和她谈谈。
And he says, Shaheen, get out of the driveway now.
他说，沙欣，现在就离开车道。
Take your car, drive immediately.
拿起你的车，立即开车。
Leave that neighborhood.
离开那个街区。
And he's like, call me when you're done.
他说，你完成后给我打电话。
And I was like, I don't know what the problem is with this guy.
我当时想，我不知道这个人有什么问题。
I get in my car, I move out of there, I call him up again.
我钻进车里，离开那里，再次给他打电话。
And he's like, what the hell are you doing there, first of all?
他说，首先你到底在那里做什么？
He says, take my advice.
他说，听听我的建议吧。
Don't ever, ever go in that neighborhood.
永远、永远不要去那个街区。
Don't speak to Valerie.
别和瓦莱丽说话。
Don't try and find her.
不要试图找到她。
Don't go to her house.
别去她家。
Don't mention her name.
别提她的名字。
You need to stay as far away from this person as possible.
你需要尽可能远离这个人。
Your case is bad enough.
你的情况已经够糟糕的了。
So he just said, you know, listen, man.
所以他只是说，你知道，听着，伙计。
I'm sorry this has happened.
很抱歉发生了这样的事。
This for me was one of the worst cases of wrong time, wrong place, doing the wrong thing, all the wrong circumstances, and you got hung for it.
对我来说，这是最糟糕的情况之一，因为错误的时间、错误的地点、做错误的事、所有错误的情况，而你却因此而被绞死。
Everything fit the profile.
一切都符合轮廓。
Everything.
一切。
If you had been a bit less forthcoming, anything could have happened.
如果你不那么坦诚一点，任何事情都可能发生。
But by just totally, literally bending over, I saved myself.
但通过完全的、字面上的弯腰，我救了自己。
Shaheen did have to go to court for the prowling charge, which got dropped for lack of evidence, and the spray painting.
沙欣确实不得不因潜行指控和喷漆而上法庭，该指控因缺乏证据而被撤销。
For that, he got sentenced to 48 hours of community service.
为此，他被判处 48 小时社区服务。
He fulfilled it by wrapping Christmas presents at the local Salvation Army.
他通过在当地救世军包装圣诞礼物来实现这一目标。
I've heard that Chris calls this a success story.
我听说克里斯称这是一个成功的故事。
And I think that in many ways, it can be looked at as a success story.
我认为从很多方面来说，它都可以被视为一个成功的故事。
The FBI's role in it was really to clear my name, in a sense.
从某种意义上说，联邦调查局在其中的作用实际上是为了洗清我的罪名。
But even though the FBI cleared him, that happened after his name was already circulated to other agencies, which still have him on terrorist watch lists.
但尽管联邦调查局清除了他的罪名，但这种情况发生在他的名字已经传给其他机构之后，这些机构仍然将他列入恐怖分子观察名单。
And it's not clear how to get off.
而且目前还不清楚如何下车。
He still gets stopped at the airport.
他仍然在机场被拦截。
One time I was coming back from a trip in Brazil and they got us at the immigration check, at the passport area.
有一次我从巴西旅行回来，他们在护照区的移民检查处找到了我们。
And they said, we got him, four or five police officers.
他们说，我们抓到了他，四五个警察。
And they led me off into a special room.
他们带我走进一个特别的房间。
And I was at a desk and an officer was there sort of-- he printed something out about my case that he was going to go to give to another officer.
我坐在一张办公桌前，一名警官在那里——他打印了一些关于我的案件的信息，他打算将其交给另一名警官。
And the printout-- it's one of these old sort of dot matrix printers and [PRINTER NOISE] The paper comes up and it said, suspected international terrorist.
打印输出——这是一种老式的点阵打印机，[打印机噪音]报纸出现了，上面写着，涉嫌国际恐怖分子。
And then it was just like, holy cow.
然后就像，天哪。
And I've been stopped by customs, federal customs agents in Miami as well.
我也被迈阿密的海关和联邦海关人员拦住了。
That was a long eight-hour ordeal where they had to call up the FBI.
这是一次漫长的八小时的磨难，他们不得不打电话给联邦调查局。
So those are the sorts of things that I'm worried about.
这些都是我担心的事情。
Shaheen says he's more careful about everything now.
沙欣说他现在对一切都更加小心。
He avoids certain topics on the phone or in email.
他在电话或电子邮件中回避某些话题。
He didn't go with friends to protest at the Republican Convention because he was afraid of getting stopped by the police.
他没有和朋友一起去共和党大会抗议，因为他害怕被警察拦住。
He feels like he could get sucked into another misunderstanding and maybe not find his way out.
他觉得自己可能会陷入另一个误会，并且可能找不到出路。
Lots of people don't.
很多人不这么认为。
Like Molly says, if you're spray painting one minute and thrown on a watch list of international terrorists the next, you tend to stop taking chances.
就像莫莉说的那样，如果你前一分钟还在喷漆，下一分钟就被列入国际恐怖分子的观察名单，你往往会停止冒险。
Gabrielle Galanek recently graduated with her master's from Columbia University in New York.
加布里埃尔·加拉内克 (Gabrielle Galanek) 最近从纽约哥伦比亚大学获得硕士学位。
[MUSIC- "FROGGY WENT A'COURTIN" BY MARK WEAKLAND]
[音乐-马克·威克兰的《FROGGY WENT A'COURTIN》]
Coming up, David Sedaris explains why baboons and cats don't get together and chat more often.
接下来，大卫·塞达里斯解释了为什么狒狒和猫不经常聚在一起聊天。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Not What I Meant, stories of misunderstandings, and how they happen, and where they can lead that you might not expect.
今天的节目，不是我的意思，关于误解的故事，以及它们是如何发生的，以及它们会导致你意想不到的结果。
We've arrived at act two of our program.
我们已经进入了计划的第二幕。
Act two, Cat Got Your Tongue.
第二幕，猫舌头了。
David Sedaris has this story of misunderstanding in a very common kind of work situation.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 讲述了一个在非常常见的工作情境中发生误解的故事。
This is one of a series of fables that he's been writing lately.
这是他最近写的一系列寓言之一。
He was recorded on stage at UCLA's Royce Hall in a recent talk there.
他最近在加州大学洛杉矶分校罗伊斯大厅的一次演讲中被录制在舞台上。
The cat had a party to attend and went to the baboon to get herself groomed.
猫要参加一个聚会，就去狒狒那里梳洗打扮。
What kind of party?
什么样的聚会？
The baboon asked.
狒狒问道。
And she massaged the cat's neck in order to relax her, the way she did with all her customers.
她按摩猫的脖子，让她放松，就像她对待所有顾客一样。
Will there be food?
会有食物吗？
The baboon asked.
狒狒问道。
Something, the cat sighed.
有什么事，猫叹了口气。
I just don't know what.
我只是不知道是什么。
Of course, it's hard, the baboon said.
当然，这很难，狒狒说。
Everybody eating different things.
每个人吃的东西都不一样。
You got one who likes leaves and another that can't stand the sight of them.
一个人喜欢树叶，另一个人则无法忍受看到树叶。
Folks has gotten so picky nowadays I just lay out some peanuts and figure they either eat them or they don't.
现在人们变得如此挑剔，我只是摆了一些花生，然后想他们要么吃，要么不吃。
Now, I wouldn't like a peanut, the cat said.
现在，我不想要花生了，猫说。
Not at all.
一点也不。
Well, I guess you just have drinks then.
好吧，我猜你只是喝了点酒。
The trick is knowing when to stop.
诀窍是知道何时停止。
That's never been a problem for me, the cat boasted.
“这对我来说从来都不是问题，”猫夸口道。
I drink until I'm full and then I push myself away from the table.
我喝到饱为止，然后我把自己从桌子上推开。
Always have.
一直都有。
Well, you got some sense then, not like some of them around here.
好吧，那么你就有点理智了，不像这里的一些人。
The baboon picked a flea from the cat's head and stuck it gingerly between her teeth.
狒狒从猫的头上捡起一只跳蚤，小心翼翼地把它塞进猫的牙齿里。
Take this wedding I went to last Saturday, I think it was, a couple of marsh rabbits got married.
就拿我上周六去参加的这场婚礼来说吧，我想是一对沼泽兔子结婚了。
You probably heard about it.
你可能听说过它。
The cat nodded.
猫点点头。
Now I like a church service, but this was one of those write your own vows sorts of things.
现在我喜欢教堂礼拜，但这是那些写下自己的誓言之类的事情之一。
Neither of them never picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they're poets, right?
他们一生中都没有提过笔，但突然之间他们就成了诗人，对吧？
Like that's all it takes is being in love.
就像这就是所需要的只是相爱。
My husband and I wrote our own vows, the cat said, defensively.
“我和丈夫写下了我们自己的誓言，”猫辩解地说。
Sure you did, but you probably had something to say, not like these marsh rabbits carrying on that their love was like a tender sapling or some damn thing.
当然你说过，但你可能有话要说，不像这些沼泽兔子那样继续说他们的爱就像一棵嫩树苗或一些该死的东西。
And all the while, they had this squirrel off to the side, plucking at a harp I think it was.
一直以来，他们都让这只松鼠在旁边弹奏竖琴，我想那是竖琴。
I had a harp player at my wedding, the cat said.
“我的婚礼上有一位竖琴演奏家，”猫说。
And it was lovely.
这很可爱。
I bet it was, but you probably hired a professional, someone who could really play.
我敢打赌是的，但你可能雇佣了一位专业人士，一个真正会玩的人。
This squirrel, I don't think she'd ever taken a lesson in her life.
这只松鼠，我想她这辈子从来没有吸取过教训。
Just clawed at those strings, almost like she's mad at them.
只是用爪子抓着那些绳子，就像她对它们很生气一样。
Well, I'm sure she tried her best, the cat said.
好吧，我确信她已经尽力了，猫说。
The baboon nodded and smiled, the way one must in the service industry.
狒狒点点头，微笑着，这是服务行业必须有的样子。
She'd planned to tell a story about a drunken marsh rabbit, the brother of the groom at last week's wedding, but there was no point in it now.
她本来打算讲一个关于上周婚礼上新郎的弟弟一只醉酒的沼泽兔的故事，但现在已经没有意义了。
Not with this client anyway.
反正不是这个客户。
Whatever she said, the cat disagreed with.
不管她说什么，猫都不同意。
And unless she found a patch of common ground, she was sure to lose her tip.
除非她找到共同点，否则她肯定会失去小费。
You know, she said cleaning a scab off the cat's neck, I hate dogs.
你知道，她在清理猫脖子上的痂时说，我讨厌狗。
Simply cannot stand them.
根本无法忍受他们。
What makes you bring that up?
是什么让你提出这个问题的？
The cat asked.
猫问道。
Just thinking.
只是想。
Some kind of Spaniel walked in yesterday asking for a shampoo and I sent him packing.
昨天有一只西班牙猎犬走进来要洗发水，我就让他打包了。
I said, I don't care how much money you have, I'm not making conversation with anyone who licks his own ass.
我说，我不管你有多少钱，我都不会和那些自吹自擂的人说话。
And the moment she said it, she realized her mistake.
而当她说出这句话的那一刻，她就意识到了自己的错误。
Now what's wrong with that?
现在有什么问题吗？
The cat said.
猫说道。
It's good to have a clean anus.
肛门干净是件好事。
Why, I lick mine at least five times a day.
为什么，我每天至少舔我的五次。
And I admire you for it, the baboon said.
我为此钦佩你，狒狒说。
But you're not a dog.
但你不是狗。
Meaning?
意义？
On a cat it's classy, the baboon said.
狒狒说，对于猫来说，这是优雅的。
There's a grace to it.
这是有恩典的。
But a dog, you know the way they hunker over, legs going every which way.
但是对于狗来说，你知道它们蹲着的样子，腿向各个方向伸展。
Well, yes, the cat said.
嗯，是的，猫说。
I suppose you have a point.
我想你说得有道理。
Then they slobber and drool all over everything, and what they don't get wet they chew to pieces.
然后它们会流口水、流口水，弄得到处都是，没有弄湿的东西就会被嚼成碎片。
That they do, the cat chuckled.
他们确实这么做了，猫咯咯地笑着。
And the baboon relaxed and searched her memory for a slanderous dog story.
狒狒放松下来，在她的记忆中寻找诽谤性的狗故事。
The collie, the German shepherd, the spaniel she claimed to have turned away, they were all good friends of hers and faithful clients.
牧羊犬、德国牧羊犬、她声称已经拒绝的西班牙猎犬，它们都是她的好朋友和忠实客户。
But what would it hurt to pretend otherwise and draw that fine line between licking ass and simply kissing it?
但如果假装不这样，在舔屁股和亲吻之间划清界限，又有什么坏处呢？
David Sedaris is the author of several books, including Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and a collection of short stories by other people that he curated called Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 是多本书的作者，其中包括《给家人穿上灯芯绒和牛仔布》，以及由他策划的其他人的短篇小说集《在大力神雕像前玩耍的孩子们》。
Act three, Romance Languages.
第三幕，浪漫语言。
This is a story of misunderstandings as a force for good in the world.
这是一个关于世界上正义力量的误解的故事。
Ben was studying abroad in Florence, Italy, and was frustrated because although there were lots of American students around, it was hard for him to meet and talk and get to know Italians.
本在意大利佛罗伦萨留学，他很沮丧，因为虽然周围有很多美国学生，但他很难见到意大利人、交谈并了解意大利人。
Then one day he sees a flyer, an Italian basketball team is looking for an American to coach them.
然后有一天，他看到一张传单，一支意大利篮球队正在寻找一名美国人来指导他们。
Ben figures, he coached basketball at Jewish summer camp, right?
本算了，他在犹太夏令营里当过篮球教练，对吧？
He played lots of basketball, right?
他打了很多篮球，对吗？
He could do that.
他可以做到这一点。
He's an American.
他是美国人。
So he answers the ad.
于是他回复了广告。
I'd been there, this is probably two and a half months into speaking Italian.
我去过那里，这可能已经是我说意大利语两个半月了。
So really, just like a rudimentary, functional Italian.
真的，就像一个基本的、实用的意大利人一样。
Right.
正确的。
Ben Karlin So I go meet with this guy, Lorenzo, and this guy Luka.
本·卡林（Ben Karlin） 所以我去见洛伦佐（Lorenzo）和卢卡（Luka）。
And we meet in this cafe and I sit down.
我们在这家咖啡馆见面，我坐下来。
It's kind of that weird, it's not quite an interview, it's not quite friends meeting.
这有点奇怪，这不完全是一次采访，也不完全是朋友聚会。
And I start telling them about my experience coaching basketball in the states.
我开始告诉他们我在美国执教篮球的经历。
And they just started looking at me with his quizzical look on their face.
他们开始用疑惑的表情看着我。
And I think it's because my Italian is so bad that I'm probably not explaining myself very well.
我认为这是因为我的意大利语太糟糕了，我可能无法很好地解释自己。
And they basically say, what are you talking about?
他们基本上会说，你在说什么？
We're looking for a football coach.
我们正在寻找一名足球教练。
That is like the moment where I kind of-- it's the kind of like that nexus where optimism becomes delusion.
这就像我的那一刻——这就像乐观变成了错觉的那种联系。
Where I probably should have just said, well, I'd love to help you out guys, but I can't do it.
我可能应该说，好吧，我很乐意帮助你们，但我做不到。
I don't know anything about football.
我对足球一无所知。
But instead I kind of did a slow nod and said, yeah, I think I could do that.
但相反，我慢慢地点了点头，说，是的，我想我可以做到。
Yeah, football.
是的，足球。
Yeah, that's great.
是的，那太好了。
No football.
没有足球。
And I should just point out that my mom would not-- there were two things my mom would not let me do when I was a kid, and there was the same reason for both.
我应该指出的是，我妈妈不会——当我还是个孩子的时候，有两件事我妈妈不让我做，而且两者的原因是一样的。
She would not let me be a Cub Scout and she would not let me play Pop Warner football.
她不会让我成为童子军，也不会让我踢波普华纳足球。
And the reason for both was that she called them Hitler Youth.
两者的原因是她称他们为希特勒青年团。
That is hard line.
这是强硬路线。
Ben Karlin She just did not want me to participate in those types of things.
本·卡林 她只是不想让我参与那些类型的事情。
She literally like raised the specter of the brown shirts.
她真的很喜欢提起棕色衬衫的幽灵。
My mom still had enough of that kind of Jewish immigrant thing going on where she just didn't think Jews did things like Cub Scouts, and Boy Scouts, and camped, and all that stuff.
我妈妈仍然受够了那种犹太移民的事情，她只是不认为犹太人会做童子军、童子军、露营之类的事情。
So anyway, the guys from the team invite Ben to come to their next practice.
不管怎样，队里的人邀请本参加他们的下一次训练。
And Ben, perhaps sensing the disaster that's about to take place, Ben has the presence of mind to ask his friend, Aaron, to come with him.
而本，也许是感觉到了灾难即将发生，他沉着地邀请他的朋友亚伦一起去。
Aaron had not only played football, but he played football in high school under Mouse Davis, the former college coach who's best known as the architect of something called the run-and-shoot offense.
亚伦不仅踢过橄榄球，还在高中时在前大学教练老鼠·戴维斯 (Mouse Davis) 的带领下踢过橄榄球，后者以跑投进攻的缔造者而闻名。
So together one day they take a long ride out to the industrial outskirts of the city to the football field.
因此有一天，他们一起长途骑行到城市的工业郊区去足球场。
And there is the football team, the Florence Renegades they are called.
还有一支足球队，他们被称为“佛罗伦萨叛徒”。
And the ages of the players are probably 19 to 40.
而球员的年龄大概在19岁到40岁之间。
I think the oldest guy was 40.
我认为最年长的人已经40岁了。
And it was definitely like a rag-tag outfit, but they could still kick our ass.
这绝对就像一套破烂的衣服，但他们仍然可以踢我们的屁股。
So we'd kind of decided the first thing we need to do is to split up the team into offense and defense.
所以我们决定我们要做的第一件事就是将球队分为进攻和防守。
He's going to go take the offense and run them through a series of drills, and I'll take the defense.
他将负责进攻并让他们进行一系列的训练，而我将负责防守。
It was kind of at this moment where I realized I just don't know exactly what I'm going to do with these people because if you ask me well, what's a football drill?
就在那一刻，我意识到我只是不知道我要对这些人做什么，因为如果你问我，什么是足球训练？
Like I really wouldn't know.
好像我真的不知道一样。
I guess like hitting the tackling dummy is a drill.
我想，击中抢断假人就像是一次训练。
But I don't know what that's called.
但我不知道那叫什么。
I guess it's called hitting the tackling dummy.
我想这就是所谓的“击中抢断假人”。
And you only know that because you've seen that in the movies?
你只知道这一点是因为你在电影中看过吗？
I've seen that in The Longest Yard.
我在《最长的院子》里见过这个。
They hit the dummy quite hard.
他们对假人的打击非常重。
So I take the defense over to their part of the field and I say, OK, well, why don't you do your warm ups, do some drills, and I'll just kind of observe.
所以我把防守带到他们的区域，然后我说，好吧，好吧，你为什么不做一下热身，做一些练习，然后我就观察一下。
And I know that in this situation it's appropriate for me to stand there with my arms folded and watch.
我知道在这种情况下，我抱臂站在那里观看是合适的。
So that's what I knew I was going to do.
这就是我知道我要做的事情。
So they line up, probably about-- and again, my Italian is really quite limited.
所以他们排队，可能是关于——再说一次，我的意大利语真的很有限。
They line up and there's about maybe a dozen or 10 people on the defense.
他们排成一排，大约有十几到十个人在防守。
They line up facing the defensive captain, and the defensive captain starts screaming at them.
他们面对防守队长排成一排，防守队长开始对他们尖叫。
Die Jew, die Jew, die Jew.
死犹太人，死犹太人，死犹太人。
And they all start running in place and diving onto the ground.
他们都开始原地奔跑并跳到地面上。
Die Jew?
死犹太人？
Ben Karlin Die Jew.
本·卡林《犹太人》。
And I just stood there watching them scream this over and over again, probably like 50 times.
我只是站在那里看着他们一遍又一遍地尖叫，大概有 50 次。
And is there a part of you where like your blood is running a little cold?
你身上的某个部分是否感觉你的血液有点冷？
Well, I don't feel threatened or anything like that.
嗯，我没有感到受到威胁或类似的感觉。
But I definitely feel like, what is going on here?
但我确实觉得，这里发生了什么事？
Is this like some thing that I've just like kind of run up against the wall of like this is like what it's like in another country?
这是否就像我在另一个国家遇到的事情一样？
And you know, I grew up in a town that was 20% Jewish, so maybe I didn't experience this, but this is what the rest of the world is like.
你知道，我在一个 20% 是犹太人的小镇长大，所以也许我没有经历过这一点，但这就是世界其他地方的样子。
Is there somewhere in your mind the thought that they are messing with you?
你脑子里有没有觉得他们在惹你生气？
That they've totally sussed out this situation, they know you don't know what you're doing, and they're just screwing with you now?
他们已经完全弄清楚了这种情况，他们知道你不知道自己在做什么，而他们现在只是在玩弄你？
No, I didn't think that for a minute.
不，我一分钟都没这么想。
I thought two things.
我想到了两件事。
One, I thought-- I hoped that that is Italian.
一，我想——我希望那是意大利语。
That is the Italian language.
那就是意大利语。
It just happens to have a coincidental kind of feel to it to someone who speaks English, let alone a Jewish American.
对于说英语的人来说，这恰好有一种巧合的感觉，更不用说犹太裔美国人了。
And the other thing I thought was maybe there's this language of sports that people use to motivate each other and maybe this is the thing that Italians do to get pumped up and get psyched.
我想到的另一件事是，也许人们用这种体育语言来互相激励，也许这就是意大利人为了振奋和兴奋而做的事情。
I doubted it, but because a lot of times when you see a Japanese t-shirt that has a misquoted American phrase or something like that?
我对此表示怀疑，但因为很多时候你看到一件日本 T 恤上有错误引用的美国短语或类似的东西？
So I thought maybe they didn't realize that this is a terrible thing to say.
所以我想也许他们没有意识到这是一件可怕的事情。
They just think it's kind of cute.
他们只是觉得这有点可爱。
And so I go back over to Aaron and his Italian is about as good as mine, maybe a little better.
所以我回到亚伦，他的意大利语和我的一样好，也许更好一点。
And I'm like, hey, man, does die Jew mean something?
我想，嘿，伙计，“死犹太人”有什么意义吗？
Because they were just screaming that like you wouldn't believe.
因为他们只是尖叫得让人难以置信。
And they thought by the way, that we were talking football strategy.
顺便说一句，他们认为我们正在谈论足球策略。
And instead, we're just trying to figure out what they were saying.
相反，我们只是想弄清楚他们在说什么。
And then we kind of realize like die means you get in Italian.
然后我们意识到“die”在意大利语中意味着“你得到了”。
And Jew means down.
犹太人的意思是“下”。
So what they were really saying was get down, get down, get down.
所以他们真正想说的是下来，下来，下来。
And we kind of stumbled upon figuring that out together.
我们偶然发现了这一点。
And we're like, oh man, that's good.
我们就像，天哪，这很好。
Listen, I'm glad we figured that out, but I'm not coaching this football team.
听着，我很高兴我们明白了这一点，但我不是这支足球队的教练。
Sorry.
对不起。
So he quit.
所以他退出了。
His friend Aaron took over the team and the great thing about a language barrier is Ben never, ever had to say, I don't know anything about football.
他的朋友亚伦接管了球队，语言障碍的好处是本从来没有说过，我对足球一无所知。
He never had to say, I have no business here and I had no business here from the start.
他从来不必说，我在这里没有事，从一开始我就没有事。
The lack of the ability to truly communicate on a one to one basis, really served me very well in this situation.
在这种情况下，缺乏真正一对一沟通的能力确实对我很有帮助。
Because you could always write things off to misunderstanding.
因为你总是可以因为误解而将事情一笔勾销。
And in this situation, it worked very well because it kind of allowed everyone to kind of exit the situation with pride and dignity intact.
在这种情况下，它的效果非常好，因为它让每个人都能带着完整的自豪感和尊严退出这种情况。
God, what a shame we don't have that in our daily lives.
天哪，我们在日常生活中没有这样的事真是太遗憾了。
I know.
我知道。
Well, I got to tell you, I have an Italian girlfriend.
好吧，我得告诉你，我有一个意大利女朋友。
She speaks English quite well because she's been here many years now.
她英语说得很好，因为她在这里已经很多年了。
But especially at the beginning, there were many, many, many, misunderstandings.
但尤其是一开始，有很多很多很多的误会。
And during the courting process especially, she was not nearly as interested in me as I was in her.
尤其是在求爱过程中，她对我的兴趣远不如我对她的兴趣。
And I made just blunder after blunder with the Italian language trying to be cute and charming.
我在意大利语上犯了一个又一个错误，试图变得可爱和迷人。
And probably the worst one-- oh man-- was Christmas.
也许最糟糕的一个——天哪——是圣诞节。
It was our first Christmas.
这是我们的第一个圣诞节。
And I wanted to get her something really nice, so I got her a spa package type of thing, like a nice day of like massage and a facial and just like a whole kind of day at this spa here in New York.
我想给她买一些非常好的东西，所以我给她买了水疗套餐之类的东西，比如按摩和面部护理等美好的一天，就像在纽约的水疗中心度过一整天一样。
And we always had this kind of like cutesy, spar-y kind of dynamic between us where I would say-- what I thought I was saying was, oh, you're so bad.
我们之间总是有一种可爱、冷漠的动态，我会说——我想我想说的是，哦，你太糟糕了。
Not like naughty.
不像顽皮的。
It's not like that, but it's just like there are words in Italian that don't quite translate exactly over to English.
事实并非如此，但就像意大利语中的某些单词不能完全翻译成英语一样。
But from what I understood, I was saying, like, oh, you're so bad.
但根据我的理解，我是在说，哦，你太糟糕了。
It's like saying you're mean, but not saying you're mean.
这就像说你卑鄙，但不说你卑鄙。
So I thought on the little card I would write that phrase, which Merry Christmas, Buon Natale.
所以我想在小卡片上写下这句话，圣诞快乐，Buon Natale。
[SPEAKING ITALIAN].
[说意大利语]。
And so what I thought I was writing was Merry Christmas, but you're still bad.
所以我以为我写的是圣诞快乐，但你还是很糟糕。
As it turns out, however, what I really wrote was Merry Christmas, but you're still ugly.
然而事实证明，我真正写的是圣诞快乐，但你还是丑陋。
So I'm giving her this spa package for like a facial and everything like that.
所以我给她提供了这个水疗套餐，比如面部护理之类的。
And I'm telling her, like listen, you need to do some work, sister.
我告诉她，听着，你需要做一些工作，姐妹。
And in the first moment that she opens the card, did she try to pass it off, or did she instantly say to you--
在她打开卡片的第一刻，她是否试图将其冒充，或者她是否立即对你说——
Immediately on her face.
立刻就到了她的脸上。
Immediately.
立即地。
And it was just one of those like, what?
这只是其中之一，什么？
What?
什么？
No.
不。
But they resolve it, pretty easily and for exactly the same reason that things resolved with the football team so simply.
但他们很容易就解决了这个问题，而且原因与足球队的问题如此简单地解决了完全相同。
They just chalked it up to a force beyond their control.
他们只是将其归因于他们无法控制的力量。
The bullying force that is the nouns and verbs and adjectives of somebody else's language, which in a relationship Ben says, can actually lead people to smoother sailing through the misunderstandings that happen between any two people.
本说，在一段关系中，别人语言中的名词、动词和形容词所带来的欺凌力量实际上可以让人们更顺利地克服任何两个人之间发生的误解。
Whenever there's a miscommunication, you always have to allow for the possibility that that's not really what they meant, it's just you're running up against the limitations of language.
每当出现沟通不畅时，你总是必须考虑到这样一种可能性：这并不是他们真正的意思，只是你遇到了语言的限制。
It kind of gives you a grace that you have to kind of give someone the benefit of the doubt.
这给了你一种恩典，你必须给予某人无罪推论。
And it's actually a really nice thing.
这实际上是一件非常好的事情。
Ben Karlin is executive producer at The Daily Show and The Colbert Report and a co-author of the book America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy in Action, which comes out in paperback later this month.
本·卡林是《每日秀》和《科尔伯特报告》的执行制片人，也是《美国：公民行动民主指南》一书的合著者，该书将于本月晚些时候推出平装本。
Well, our program was produced today by Lisa Pollak and myself, with S Diane Cook, Wendy Dorr, Jane Feltes and Sarah Koenig.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由 Lisa Pollak 和我本人以及 S Diane Cook、Wendy Dorr、Jane Feltes 和 Sarah Koenig 制作的。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Elizabeth Meister runs our website.
伊丽莎白·梅斯特 (Elizabeth Meister) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Todd Bachmann, Kevin Clark, Laura Bello, Seth Lind, Sativa January, and Cathy Hoang.
Todd Bachmann、Kevin Clark、Laura Bello、Seth Lind、Sativa January 和 Cathy Hoang 为制作提供了帮助。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Ira Glass Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our programs for absolutely free, or buy CDs of them.
[致谢] Ira Glass 我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中完全免费收听我们的节目，或购买这些节目的 CD。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] Ira Glass WBEZ management oversight for our program by Mr. Torey Malatia, who has a message for all the people who have been sitting in their cars in front of their houses waiting till the end of this show.
[资金来源] Ira Glass WBEZ 管理部门由 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行监督，他向所有坐在自家门前的车里等待节目结束的人们传达了一条信息。
Get out of the driveway now.
现在离开车道。
Ira Glass I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of this American life.
Ira Glass 我是 Ira Glass，下周回来，带来更多有关美国生活的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。