283: Remember Me - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #283 | October 26, 2012 283: Remember Me Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 283 集 | 2012 年 10 月 26 日 283：记住我 注意：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago it's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International.
序言 Ira Glass 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥，这就是美国生活，由国际公共广播电台发行。
This is going to take a while because there's so many pictures.
这将需要一段时间，因为有太多照片。
Yeah, he definitely defeated the system a little bit here.
是的，他确实在这里稍微击败了系统。
Laura Mayer's the editor in chief of her high school yearbook, and she's noticed that last year's book had a problem.
劳拉·梅耶尔 (Laura Mayer) 是她高中年鉴的主编，她注意到去年的年鉴有问题。
In a lot of the club pictures, there's one kid who appears over and over and over, too many times to actually be in all the clubs.
在很多俱乐部照片中，有一个孩子一遍又一遍地出现，次数太多，以至于实际上不可能出现在所有俱乐部中。
I think he probably did this all in one day.
我想他可能在一天之内就完成了这一切。
Let me take a look.
让我看一下。
I know he's in In the Mood for Food Club, which their slogan is we love to cook and eat.
我知道他在“花样美食俱乐部”，他们的口号是“我们喜欢做饭和吃饭”。
He's in Military History Club.
他在军事历史俱乐部。
He's in Lawn Sports Club.
他在草坪运动俱乐部。
He's in Out of the Box Club, which is-- do you need to know what that club is?
他在“开箱即用俱乐部”，你需要知道那个俱乐部是什么吗？
I don't need to know, but now I'm sort of wondering what that is.
我不需要知道，但现在我有点想知道那是什么。
Sort of wondering.
有点想知道。
Well, they go on these excursions that are not inside the box, but out of the box.
好吧，他们进行的这些旅行不是在盒子里，而是在盒子外。
And the box, in this case, is the school building?
在这种情况下，这个盒子是教学楼吗？
Yeah, I guess.
是的，我想。
It was sort of like thinking, you know?
这有点像思考，你知道吗？
I wonder what one of those excursions would be?
我想知道其中的一次旅行会是什么？
Well, I know that they went to see a Led Zeppelin laser show, Turkish belly dancing, and they visited a corn maze.
嗯，我知道他们去看了齐柏林飞艇激光表演、土耳其肚皮舞，还参观了玉米迷宫。
So it's actually a really popular club.
所以它实际上是一个非常受欢迎的俱乐部。
He's in that picture.
他就在那张照片里。
I would think the laser show would actually still be in the box.
我认为激光表演实际上仍然在盒子里。
Yeah, I know.
是的，我知道。
I'm pretty sure belly dancing and corn maze, I think nobody would dispute those are outside the box.
我很确定肚皮舞和玉米迷宫，我想没有人会质疑这些是在盒子之外的。
Yeah.
是的。
I guess that is sort of leaning towards being inside the box.
我想这有点倾向于在盒子里。
He's in Photo Club.
他在摄影俱乐部。
Now is he doing anything in these pictures?
现在他在这些照片中做了什么吗？
Does he look like he's somebody pulling a prank?
他看起来像个恶作剧的人吗？
In some of them, he does.
在其中一些方面，他做到了。
In the two-- the ones I just looked at, the Lawn Sports and Military History Club, he looks like he's pulling a prank.
在我刚刚看到的两个草坪运动和军事历史俱乐部中，他看起来像是在恶作剧。
A interesting grin on his face.
他的脸上挂着有趣的笑容。
But in the In the Mood for Food, it seems like he's being a little bit more smooth about being in the picture.
但在《花样年华》中，他似乎在画面中显得更加流畅了。
What's he look like?
他长什么样？
Laura Mayer He's got very curly hair.
劳拉·梅耶尔 他的头发很卷。
I actually know his name.
我其实知道他的名字。
What's his name?
他叫什么名字？
Laura Mayer Sam Melnic.
劳拉·梅耶尔 山姆·梅尔尼克。
Sam Melnic?
萨姆·梅尔尼克？
Laura Mayer Yeah.
劳拉·梅耶尔 是的。
I know of him, but I don't know him.
我知道他，但我不认识他。
I think my brother might know him actually.
我想我哥哥可能真的认识他。
In the back of the yearbook is an index listing all of the students and then sending you to the pages with their pictures.
年鉴的背面有一个索引，列出了所有学生，然后将您带到带有他们照片的页面。
And at Laura's school, if you have so many photos that your listing in the index takes three lines, people notice.
在劳拉的学校，如果您有太多照片，以至于索引中的列表需要三行，人们就会注意到。
You know you've made it when you've got three lines, I'd say.
我想说，当你写出三行字时，你就知道你已经成功了。
Well, definitely.
嗯，当然。
Because your name sticks out and it's like you've accomplished something, I think.
我想，因为你的名字很引人注目，就好像你已经完成了一些事情。
I mean, it's a joke, but I think a lot of people take it a little more seriously than-- yeah, someone like Sam Melnic, he may--
我的意思是，这是一个笑话，但我认为很多人都比——是的，像萨姆·梅尔尼克这样的人，他可能——更认真地对待它——
Yeah, I'm flipping through the back.
是的，我正在翻背面。
Melnic.
梅尔尼克.
Oh, he has three lines.
哦，他有三行。
Wow, he has a lot.
哇，他有很多。
He has 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 entries, and that's huge.
他有 1、2、3、4、5、6、7、8、9、10、11、12、13、14 个条目，数量巨大。
I mean, I have like nine, and I'm one of the editors.
我的意思是，我有大约九个，而且我是编辑之一。
So I can respect that him getting 14 by like bucking the system.
所以我可以尊重他通过对抗体制而获得 14 分。
That might be the most, one of the most out of anyone in the book.
这可能是书中最多的，最出乎意料的之一。
It's got to be.
一定是这样。
I don't know, it just seemed funny at the time.
我不知道，只是当时觉得很搞笑。
You know, me and my friend decided to get in as many pictures as possible.
你知道，我和我的朋友决定拍摄尽可能多的照片。
America, meet Sam Melnic.
美国，认识萨姆·梅尔尼克。
He says it wasn't just the talking his way into all those photos that was satisfying.
他说，令人满足的不仅仅是在所有这些照片中用自己的方式说话。
I felt more of a sense of accomplishment when I opened the yearbook and I saw the numbers.
当我打开年鉴看到这些数字时，我更有成就感。
Did you actually go to your friends and say, check this out?
你真的去找你的朋友说，看看这个吗？
Yeah.
是的。
And I said, hey, look, I have-- like you have like a 10 number, or something, and I like the most in the yearbook.
我说，嘿，看，我有——就像你有一个 10 号之类的，我最喜欢年鉴中的数字。
Did you actually have the most photos in the yearbook?
你真的是年鉴中照片最多的人吗？
Actually, I think there's actually two people with the same name who had more than me.
事实上，我认为实际上有两个同名的人比我拥有更多。
But I think I had the most.
但我想我拥有的最多。
I mean, you just walk into photos.
我的意思是，你只是走进照片。
Anyone can do it if you put your mind to it.
只要你用心，任何人都可以做到。
If this were a romantic comedy, if this were a movie right now, you guys would end up in love.
如果这是一部浪漫喜剧，如果这是一部电影，你们最终会相爱的。
But also, you'd be arch rivals for a while because you'd be trying to keep him out of the yearbook.
而且，你们会在一段时间内成为主要竞争对手，因为你们会试图将他排除在年鉴之外。
Exactly.
确切地。
He'd be like the yearbook nemesis, but then something would happen.
他就像年鉴上的克星，但随后就会发生一些事情。
There'd be an epiphany or something, like over a template, and that's how it would work.
会有顿悟之类的东西，比如通过模板，这就是它的工作原理。
Yeah, and then that would be the turning point in the story.
是的，然后那将是故事的转折点。
I can see that.
我看得出来。
Now, of course, Sam Melnic doesn't give a damn if the yearbook is accurate.
当然，现在萨姆·梅尔尼克根本不在乎年鉴是否准确。
If it's actually a history of their senior class for decades to come.
如果这真的是他们高年级学生未来几十年的历史的话。
But what's interesting is that Laura isn't too bothered about his prank, either.
但有趣的是，劳拉也不太在意他的恶作剧。
Is this kind of thing got out of hand, she says, sure, that would be bad.
如果这种事情失控的话，她说，当然，那会很糟糕。
But one or two kids jumping into some pictures and doing it so effectively?
但是一两个孩子跳进一些图片并做得如此有效？
Yeah, I respect that.
是的，我尊重这一点。
I think that type of thing adds to the charm of the yearbook.
我认为这种事情增加了年鉴的魅力。
It tells a little story.
它讲述了一个小故事。
Laura Mayer Yeah, it has a story.
劳拉·梅耶尔 是的，它有一个故事。
It adds character to the book, I think.
我认为它为这本书增添了特色。
I think it was funny, personally.
我个人认为这很有趣。
I don't know how the other editors would feel, but I appreciate it.
我不知道其他编辑会作何感想，但我很感激。
Now I bring all this up because I have a thing or two that I need to say to you about Benjamin Franklin.
现在我提出这一切是因为我需要对你们说一两件事关于本杰明·富兰克林。
One of our contributing editors, Jack Hitt, has a little obsession with Franklin.
我们的特约编辑之一杰克·希特（Jack Hitt）对富兰克林有一点痴迷。
He reads all those Franklin biographies that keep coming out.
他读了所有不断出版的富兰克林传记。
And he's interested in how Franklin has this kind of cheerful disregard for the truth in certain situations.
他对富兰克林如何在某些情况下如此乐于无视真相感兴趣。
There are certain situations where Franklin-- one of the people who through his writing and his action defined what it is to be an American, after all-- where Franklin happily jumped into club photos where he didn't belong in the high school yearbook.
在某些情况下，富兰克林——毕竟，他是通过他的写作和行动定义了美国人的定义之一——富兰克林高兴地跳入俱乐部照片，而他不属于高中年鉴。
If you know what I mean.
如果你明白我的意思。
Here's jack.
这是杰克。
Probably the most famous image we have of Franklin is him standing out in an oncoming thunderstorm flying a kite with a key on a string and I don't think it's true.
我们对富兰克林最著名的印象可能是他站在即将到来的雷雨中，放着挂着钥匙的风筝，但我认为这不是真的。
In fact, a lot of people don't think it's true.
事实上，很多人并不认为这是真的。
A biographer named Tom Tucker tried to replicate the experiment for a book called Bolt of Fate , and he failed.
一位名叫汤姆·塔克的传记作家试图在一本名为《命运之箭》的书中复制这个实验，但他失败了。
A bolt of lightning hitting the kite could have actually killed Franklin.
一道闪电击中风筝实际上可能会杀死富兰克林。
And most telling of all, in the 1750s, when all this was supposed to have happened, this experiment was supposed to have taken place, Franklin wrote that a kind of experiment sort of like this might be possible, but he never wrote anything saying that he'd actually done it.
最有说服力的是，在 1750 年代，当这一切都应该发生时，这个实验应该已经发生，富兰克林写道，类似这样的实验可能是可能的，但他从未写过任何东西说他实际上已经做过了。
If you had actually proved your own theory, don't you think you might have run around and said, hey, it's true.
如果你真的证明了自己的理论，你不认为你可能会跑来跑去说，嘿，这是真的。
I'm right.
我是对的。
No, he didn't tell anybody.
不，他没有告诉任何人。
We only know about the kite story decades later.
几十年后我们才知道风筝的故事。
He didn't write about it at the time.
他当时没有写这件事。
And when he did write about it, it's really vague.
当他写下这件事时，它真的很模糊。
He doesn't tell us where he was or who was there except that his son was there.
他没有告诉我们他在哪里或谁在那里，除了他的儿子在那里。
So I think what happened was, many years later, when Franklin's looking back over his life, he's got your bifocals and the Franklin stove, and he's got the insurance company thing.
所以我认为发生的事情是，很多年后，当富兰克林回顾他的一生时，他有了你的双光眼镜和富兰克林炉子，而且他有了保险公司的东西。
But then his real great sort of scientific contribution to the world is electricity.
但他对世界真正伟大的科学贡献是电力。
But the problem with electricity is that it didn't make a great story.
但电力的问题在于它并没有成为一个伟大的故事。
Franklin had had a theory that lightning was a kind of electricity, and he encouraged experimenters to stick metal rods in the air to get hit by lightning, which guys in various countries did and actually proved him right.
富兰克林有一个理论，认为闪电是一种电，他鼓励实验者将金属棒插在空中以被闪电击中，不同国家的人都这么做了，而且事实证明他是对的。
Which, like I say, kind of prosaic.
正如我所说，这有点平淡无奇。
Not sexy.
不性感。
But he knew that creating an image like him flying a kite was going to last a lot longer in people's minds than guys standing next to steel rods sticking up in the air.
但他知道，创造出像他放风筝这样的形象，比站在空中的钢棒旁边的人在人们心目中的停留时间要长得多。
Yeah.
是的。
Jack Hitt And it did.
杰克·希特 确实如此。
If you ask any child who Ben Franklin was, they will tell you the kite story.
如果你问任何孩子本·富兰克林是谁，他们会告诉你风筝的故事。
One thing that's so crazy that the idea that he made all of this up is that this was not somebody who needed to pad his resume for history.
有一件事是如此疯狂，以至于他编造了这一切，因为他不需要为历史填充自己的简历。
He was Benjamin Franklin.
他就是本杰明·富兰克林。
He edited Thomas Jefferson.
他编辑了托马斯·杰斐逊。
He wrote the line, "We hold these truths to be self-evident." He created the postal system.
他写道：“我们认为这些真理是不言而喻的。”他创建了邮政系统。
He invented stuff.
他发明了东西。
He created an American style of writing.
他创造了美国的写作风格。
He convinced France to fund the Revolutionary War, without which we would not be a country.
他说服法国资助独立战争，没有它我们就不会成为一个国家。
If Benjamin Franklin felt the need to pretty things up a little bit for his legacy, why wouldn't Sam Melnic?
如果本杰明·富兰克林觉得有必要为他的遗产做一些美化，那么萨姆·梅尔尼克为什么不呢？
Which brings us to the subject of today's program.
这就引出了我们今天节目的主题。
Today on our radio show, we bring you stories of people trying to control how they're going to be remembered.
今天，在我们的广播节目中，我们为您带来人们试图控制自己被记住的方式的故事。
People who invent their own kite and key stories.
发明自己的风筝和关键故事的人。
People who run into the club pictures for clubs that they're not part of.
人们偶然看到自己不属于的俱乐部的俱乐部照片。
And in most of our stories, I have to say, it turns out it's not so easy to control how people are going to see you years from now.
我不得不说，在我们的大多数故事中，事实证明，控制几年后人们如何看待你并不那么容易。
It doesn't go too well.
进展不太顺利。
Act one of our show, "Thinking Inside the Box," in which someone has a message for an audience of exactly one and plots carefully how to get her to receive that message.
我们的节目之一“盒子里的思考”，其中某人向恰好一个观众传达了一条信息，并仔细策划了如何让她接收该信息。
Act two, "Where's Walter?" Starlee Kine has the story of a haunted Ramada in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, and the man who haunts it and how he's remembered.
第二幕“沃尔特在哪里？”斯塔莉·凯恩讲述了威斯康星州丰迪拉克一家闹鬼的华美达酒店的故事，以及闹鬼的人以及他如何被人们铭记的故事。
Act three, "Giving Up the Ghosts." Shalom Auslander explains why he decided to stop remembering the dead, even though his job actually required him to remember.
第三幕“放弃鬼魂”。沙洛姆·奥斯兰德解释了为什么他决定不再纪念死者，尽管他的工作实际上要求他记住。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act one, "Thinking Inside the Box." David Wilcox has this story about what it is that people remember.
第一幕，“框内思考”。大卫·威尔科克斯有一个关于人们记忆的故事。
My sister Jenny's five favorite songs are all looped, back to back to back, on a 90-minute cassette that has been dubbed so many times now most of the singing sounds like a chipmunk buried beneath a mud slide.
我姐姐珍妮最喜欢的五首歌曲都在一个 90 分钟的磁带上背靠背循环播放，这盘磁带已经被配音了很多次，现在大部分歌声听起来就像一只埋在泥石流下面的花栗鼠。
It starts off with Jenny's favorites song, "The Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Houston.
它以珍妮最喜欢的歌曲惠特尼·休斯顿的《The Greatest Love of All》开始。
Jenny fell in love with it at the height of its popularity 20 years ago.
珍妮在 20 年前它最流行的时候就爱上了它。
And in the years since then, not a day has gone by when she hasn't listened to it.
从那以后的几年里，她没有一天不听这首歌。
Billy Joel's, "The Longest Time" follows, along with two songs from the movie The Jungle Book recorded directly off the TV.
接下来是比利·乔尔的《最长的时间》，以及直接从电视录制的电影《奇幻森林》中的两首歌曲。
It is, unequivocally, the worst mix tape of all time.
毫无疑问，这是有史以来最糟糕的混音带。
And lest you think I'm exaggerating, please consider the most recent addition to the tape recorded by Carly Simon in 1986.
以免您认为我夸大其词，请考虑一下卡莉·西蒙 (Carly Simon) 1986 年录制的磁带中最新添加的内容。
I defy you to make it through this song in its entirety even once, let alone the thousands of times the members of my family have.
我不敢让你完整地听完这首歌，哪怕一次，更不用说我的家人已经听过数千遍了。
[MUSIC- "ITSY BITSY SPIDER" BY CARLY SIMON]
[音乐-卡莉·西蒙的《ITSY BITSY SPIDER》]
This is the sort of music SWAT teams bring out as a last resort during a hostage standoff.
这是特警队在人质对峙期间作为最后手段发出的音乐。
And, strangely enough, it's also how my sister makes it from one day to the next.
而且，奇怪的是，这也是我姐姐日复一日的生活方式。
How could somebody listen to this every single day?
怎么会有人每天都听这个？
You would have to be mentally retarded.
你一定是个弱智。
Which, it turns out, my sister is.
事实证明，我的妹妹就是这样的。
I know how that sounds.
我知道这听起来怎么样。
I know it's bad to use the R word.
我知道使用 R 这个词不好。
But in 1970 when Jenny was born, she was simply, as my parents were informed shortly after her birth, retarded.
但 1970 年珍妮出生时，正如我父母在她出生后不久得知的那样，她只是弱智。
The official diagnosis was severe and profound, which meant she would never learn to walk, talk, feed, bathe, or dress herself.
官方的诊断是严重而深刻的，这意味着她永远无法学会自己走路、说话、吃饭、洗澡或穿衣。
And the doctors recommended, as they often did back then, that she be sent to live in a state institution.
医生们建议，正如他们当时经常做的那样，将她送往公立机构居住。
But my parents kept her at home, and while my dad worked, my mom dedicated the rest of her life to teaching Jenny everything she'd never be able to do.
但我的父母把她留在家里，当我父亲工作时，我妈妈用她的余生教珍妮所有她永远无法做到的事情。
Today, Jenny's capable of far more than anyone could have predicted.
如今，珍妮的能力远远超出了任何人的预期。
By that, I mean she can walk, talk, swim, use a fork, recognize colors, and recite the alphabet, if you help her along.
我的意思是，如果你帮助她的话，她可以走路、说话、游泳、使用叉子、识别颜色和背诵字母表。
She went to the same high school I did and even has a job doing light assembly at an assisted living facility.
她和我上的是同一所高中，甚至在辅助生活设施里找到了一份组装灯光的工作。
But at the same time, she's little more than a four-year-old.
但与此同时，她还只是一个四岁的孩子。
Life for Jenny is exactly like life for a toddler, filled with simple pleasures, structured around a set routine in which any day, like the day before, is a good day.
珍妮的生活就像一个幼儿的生活一样，充满了简单的快乐，围绕着既定的例行公事构建，其中任何一天，就像前一天一样，都是美好的一天。
Which brings me back to the mix tape.
这让我回到了混音带。
When you meet Jenny, it's one of the first things you find out about.
当你见到珍妮时，这是你首先发现的事情之一。
When she's not listening to it, she's talking about it.
当她不听的时候，她就在谈论它。
She carries it around for hours in anticipation and she's sure you want to listen to it with her.
她带着它带着它几个小时，她确信你想和她一起听。
She even used to follow people around the house with it blaring from a Fisher-Price cassette recorder.
她甚至常常用费雪盒式录音机的声音跟踪房子周围的人。
There have been other fixations throughout Jenny's life, though none as significant as the tape.
珍妮的一生中还有其他一些迷恋，但没有一个像磁带那样重要。
There was the old Monkeys TV show, a British cartoon called Danger Mouse , videotapes of Cinderella, and, of course, The Jungle Book .
有老猴子电视节目、英国动画片《神勇小白鼠》、灰姑娘的录像带，当然还有《奇幻森林》。
And you wouldn't believe how excited this stuff makes her.
你不会相信这些东西让她如此兴奋。
She literally squeals every time it comes on.
每当它响起时，她都会尖叫。
It's so genuine and sweet that you can't help but be excited for her.
它是如此真诚和甜蜜，让你情不自禁地为她感到兴奋。
It makes you want to give her the next thing she feels this way about.
这会让你想要给她下一件她有这种感觉的东西。
At one time a few years ago, my mom actually made Jenny a video.
几年前的一次，我妈妈实际上给珍妮制作了一个视频。
My parents didn't have a camcorder, so she asked a neighbor to come over to the house and shoot it.
我父母没有摄像机，所以她请邻居来家里拍摄。
And on the video, my mom gives a tour of Jenny's favorite things.
在视频中，我妈妈带大家参观了珍妮最喜欢的东西。
This is the best thing we ever did.
这是我们做过的最好的事情。
Because she can put the video in by herself.
因为她可以自己把视频放进去。
And it will start and play through and rewind and eject and turn off and she doesn't have to do anything.
它会开始播放、倒带、弹出和关闭，而她不需要做任何事情。
I haven't had to watch Jungle Book in a year and a half.
我已经一年半没看过《奇幻森林》了。
Which, you have no idea.
哪个，你不知道。
Two years before my mom made this, she was diagnosed with lung cancer.
在我妈妈做这个的两年前，她被诊断出患有肺癌。
By the time they discovered it, it had spread to her lymph nodes, which meant all she could do was start chemotherapy and hope for the best.
当他们发现它时，它已经扩散到她的淋巴结，这意味着她所能做的就是开始化疗并祈祷最好的结果。
Remission came and went.
缓解来了又去。
The cancer spread to her brain, then to her bones.
癌症扩散到她的大脑，然后扩散到她的骨头。
By the time this was recorded, she had begun hospice care and was coming to terms with the inevitable.
当记录下来时，她已经开始接受临终关怀，并接受不可避免的事情。
I'll show you her costumes.
我给你看看她的服装。
I think I'm going to take a marker and mark stuff as to whether it's work, play, dress-up.
我想我会拿一个记号笔标记一些东西，比如工作、娱乐、装扮。
Death isn't something you can explain to Jenny.
死亡不是你可以向珍妮解释的事情。
All she knows is that you're gone, and once you're no longer a part of her day to day, her memory fades.
她只知道你已经走了，一旦你不再是她日常生活的一部分，她的记忆就会消失。
My mom used to have this running joke that when she was finally gone, Jenny wouldn't even notice.
我妈妈经常开玩笑说，当她最终离开时，珍妮甚至都没有注意到。
But at the same time, it wasn't a joke.
但与此同时，这并不是一个玩笑。
So she made this tape hoping it would be the sort of thing Jenny would watch every evening after dinner on the TV in her bedroom.
所以她制作了这盘磁带，希望珍妮每天晚上吃完晚饭后在卧室的电视上看这盘录像带。
The one that starts, plays through, rewinds, and ejects without her having to do anything.
无需她做任何事情即可开始、播放、倒带和弹出的游戏。
My mom spent a lot of time planning this tape, but you wouldn't know that from watching it.
我妈妈花了很多时间准备这盘磁带，但你不会通过观看它知道这一点。
She seems nervous and unsure of what to say, like someone had just pulled a camera out on the spot and told her to start talking.
她看起来很紧张，不知道该说什么，就像有人刚刚当场拿出相机让她开始说话一样。
Parts of it are completely inaudible.
其中的某些部分是完全听不见的。
There are these choppy cuts where the tape starts and stops.
磁带开始和停止的地方都有这些断断续续的切口。
And because of the chemo, she barely even looks like herself.
由于化疗，她看起来几乎不像她自己了。
She's wearing a wig, her body doesn't look healthy, her voice doesn't even sound that much like her.
她戴着假发，身体看起来不太健康，连声音听起来都不像她。
If you listen closely, you can hear her try to catch her breath, winded from just walking around the house.
如果你仔细听，你会听到她试图喘口气，因为在房子里走来走去而气喘吁吁。
Her dress up stuff's in here.
她的装扮物品都在这里。
She's got a flapper.
她有一个挡板。
How about this for hotsy-totsy?
对于辣妹来说，这个怎么样？
She looks so cute in it.
她在里面看起来很可爱。
And her cheerleader stuff.
还有她的啦啦队长的东西。
She's all fixed up.
她一切都安排好了。
Billy will have to figure out what to do with it.
比利必须弄清楚如何处理它。
But he will.
但他会的。
Most of it's just like this, shots of closets and bedrooms, a tape of my mom not saying what she's really feeling to someone who can't understand it anyway.
大部分都是这样的，壁橱和卧室的照片，我妈妈的录音带，没有向一个无论如何也无法理解的人说出她真正的感受。
Instead, she explains Jenny's daily routine to the neighbor who's behind the camera.
相反，她向镜头后面的邻居解释珍妮的日常生活。
Then at the end there's an edit and suddenly, she's sitting on my sister's bed, finally talking directly into the camera, directly to Jenny.
然后在最后进行剪辑，突然，她坐在我姐姐的床上，最后直接对着镜头说话，直接对着珍妮。
It's one of those moments people go over in their heads a million times, the last thing you might ever say to someone you love.
这是人们在脑海中回想一百万次的时刻之一，这是你对你所爱的人说的最后一句话。
Where every word is supposed to be eloquent and moving and memorable.
每句话都应该是雄辩的、感人的、令人难忘的。
But, with someone like Jenny, you do exactly what my mom did.
但是，对于像珍妮这样的人，你所做的正是我妈妈所做的。
You keep it simple and you tell her what she can understand.
你保持简单，告诉她她能理解的内容。
This is your room.
这是你的房间。
You know you're supposed to make your bed up here every morning.
你知道你每天早上都应该在这里整理床铺。
And that's not going to change.
这不会改变。
You can come up here and watch a video as long as you don't do it 24 hours a day.
只要不是24小时都可以到这里来看视频。
Maybe Daddy will get you a boombox all your very own if you'll be good and not want to listen to it all the time.
如果你表现得好并且不想一直听的话，也许爸爸会给你买一台属于你自己的音箱。
But you have to do other things.
但你必须做其他事情。
You have to help Daddy around the house and that kind of thing.
你必须帮助爸爸做家务之类的。
And that's the moment, the one moment where she says what she's feeling.
这就是她说出自己感受的那一刻。
"You have to help Daddy around the house." She's going to be gone and it's just going to be my sister and my dad, and she doesn't know what they're going to do without her.
“你必须帮助爸爸做家务。”她将会离开，只剩下我姐姐和我爸爸，她不知道没有她他们会做什么。
This was my mom's way of telling Jenny that she wasn't abandoning her.
这是我妈妈告诉珍妮她不会抛弃她的方式。
A way to be there on demand, whenever she was needed.
无论何时需要她，她都能随叫随到。
A few weeks after the funeral, my dad put this video on.
葬礼几周后，我爸爸放了这段视频。
Jenny didn't even watch it through to the end.
珍妮甚至没有看到最后。
Soon, it wound up at the bottom of a drawer, sandwiched between The Muppets and Barney the dinosaur, who my sister also once loved, and now has forgotten.
很快，它就被放在抽屉的底部，夹在布偶和恐龙巴尼之间，我姐姐也曾经爱过它，但现在已经忘记了。
And while it's sad to think that she doesn't want to see it, it's a comfort to know she doesn't need to.
虽然想到她不想看到这件事令人难过，但知道她不需要看到它又让人感到安慰。
She doesn't need to hear her voice or remember her face.
她不需要听到她的声音或记住她的脸。
She doesn't wonder where our mom is or when she's coming back.
她不知道我们的妈妈在哪里，也不知道她什么时候回来。
It's as though Mom never existed.
就好像妈妈从来没有存在过一样。
And while I'm sure that would break my mom's heart, I'm also sure she would want, as she always did, whatever was best for Jenny.
虽然我确信这会让我妈妈心碎，但我也确信她会像往常一样想要一切对珍妮最好的东西。
Even if that means she's forgotten.
即使这意味着她被遗忘了。
That's the weird advantage to being Jenny.
这就是珍妮的奇怪优势。
The bigger the change, the less she understands it, and the more she concentrates on what stays the same.
变化越大，她的理解就越少，她就越专注于保持不变的事情。
While the rest of us struggle with memories, she simply forgets.
当我们其他人都在与记忆作斗争时，她只是忘记了。
If only we were all so lucky.
如果我们都这么幸运就好了。
David Wilcox is a Texan living in Chicago.
大卫·威尔科克斯 (David Wilcox) 是居住在芝加哥的德克萨斯人。
There's an organization that's recording people to preserve their voices and stories for their children and generations to come.
有一个组织正在录制人们的声音，为他们的孩子和子孙后代保留他们的声音和故事。
It's called StoryCorps.
它的名字叫StoryCorps。
They have an audio booth in Grand Central Station in New York City.
他们在纽约市中央车站设有一个音频亭。
They're building others around the country.
他们正在全国各地建造其他建筑。
From time to time, you can hear some of the stories and voices they've gathered on public radio.
有时，您可以在公共广播中听到他们收集的一些故事和声音。
Here are two stories that they recorded in New York.
这是他们在纽约录制的两个故事。
The first one is this guy who has thought quite a bit about what he's going to be remembered for.
第一个是这个人，他对自己将因什么而被人们铭记进行了很多思考。
The second is a bus driver who has never forgotten one of his customers.
第二个是一位公交车司机，他从未忘记过他的一位顾客。
Everybody got something in their life that they're good at.
每个人在生活中都有自己擅长的事情。
This is what I do good, I eat.
这就是我做的好事，我吃。
I was always a bigger eater than most people in my family.
我总是比家里的大多数人吃得更多。
And about five years ago, there was an ad in the paper for a matzoh ball contest.
大约五年前，报纸上刊登了一则无酵球比赛的广告。
I went down to the contest, I broke a record.
我参加了比赛，打破了一项记录。
I ate 10 matzoh balls, half-pounders the size of baseballs, in 2 minutes, 50 seconds.
我在 2 分 50 秒内吃了 10 个无酵饼，半磅重，相当于棒球的大小。
No one ever ate more than 10.
没有人吃过超过10个。
And I went on to the finals and I won.
我进入了决赛并获胜。
And Mayor Giuliani gave me the trophy.
朱利安尼市长给了我奖杯。
And the announcer said, let's hear it for Don Lerman and Rudy Giuliani.
播音员说，让我们听听唐·勒曼和鲁迪·朱利安尼的声音。
And we're both shaking hands like the president and the vice president-elect.
我们都像总统和候任副总统一样握手。
That was the first trophy, the matzoh ball trophy, ever in my life.
那是我人生中的第一个奖杯，无酵球奖杯。
I always wanted to be famous.
我一直想出名。
I always wanted to be president, or a big lawyer, or a doctor or something, and it just never happened.
我一直想当总统，或者是一名大律师，或者是一名医生什么的，但它从来没有发生过。
I had a couple of day-old bread stores.
我有几家刚开业几天的面包店。
That was my business.
那是我的事。
I worked 80 hours a week, 7 days a week.
我每周工作 7 天，每周工作 80 小时。
I just thought the parade would pass me by until eating.
我只是以为游行队伍会从我身边经过直到吃饭。
My father never lived to see me famous and he always thought I was a loser.
我父亲没能活着看到我出名，他一直认为我是一个失败者。
I wish he was alive to see that I'm a somebody.
我希望他还活着，看到我是个大人物。
I remember one woman, in particular, a senior, who had gotten on my bus and she seemed completely lost.
我记得有一位女士，特别是一位高年级学生，上了我的公交车，她似乎完全迷路了。
I could see she was confused.
我看得出来她很困惑。
I don't know whether it was an illness, but she looked so beautiful for a hot summer day to have her fur on.
我不知道这是不是一种病，但在炎热的夏天，她穿上皮毛看起来真是太漂亮了。
So I said, are you OK?
所以我说，你还好吗？
She said, oh, I'm fine.
她说，哦，我很好。
I'm fine, but I don't know a restaurant.
我很好，但我不知道有什么餐馆。
I'm meeting my friends.
我正在和我的朋友们见面。
I said, you sit on the bus.
我说，你坐公交车吧。
I'll run in and I'll check each restaurant.
我会跑进去检查每家餐厅。
The very, very last one on the left, I said, it's got to be this one.
我说，左边最后一个，一定是这个。
So I said stay here, sweetie, it's nice and cool in here.
所以我说呆在这里，亲爱的，这里又好又凉。
I went in and I said, there's a lady in the bus and she's not sure the restaurant.
我进去后说，公共汽车上有一位女士，她不确定是哪家餐厅。
And I saw a whole bunch of other seniors there and they said, oh, it's probably her.
我在那里看到了一大群其他高年级学生，他们说，哦，可能就是她。
So I ran back to the bus.
于是我跑回公共汽车。
I said, oh, sweetie, your restaurant is right here.
我说，哦，亲爱的，你的餐厅就在这里。
And I said, no, no, don't move.
我说，不，不，别动。
And I grabbed her hand.
我抓住了她的手。
I remember my right hand grabbed her right hand.
我记得我的右手抓住了她的右手。
I wanted to make her feel special, like it was a limousine.
我想让她感觉很特别，就像这是一辆豪华轿车一样。
It's a bus.
这是一辆公共汽车。
She said she felt like Cinderella.
她说她感觉自己像灰姑娘。
And she said, I've been diagnosed with cancer.
她说，我被诊断出患有癌症。
And today is the best day of my life.
今天是我一生中最美好的一天。
Just because I helped her off the bus.
只是因为我扶她下了车。
And I never forgot that woman.
我永远不会忘记那个女人。
Ronald Ruiz, a New York City bus driver on the City Island Line in the Bronx.
罗纳德·鲁伊斯 (Ronald Ruiz) 是纽约市布朗克斯区城市岛线上的一名公交车司机。
Before him was Don "Moses" Lerman, who's a competitive eater.
在他之前的是唐·“摩西”·勒曼，他是一位竞争性的食客。
He attends big events on the International Federation of Competitive Eating Circuit.
他参加国际竞技饮食联合会联合会的大型活动。
Our next story is a story of a man trying to control his legacy using all the normal means that a person can, and pretty much failing pretty completely.
我们的下一个故事是一个男人试图使用一个人可以使用的所有正常手段来控制他的遗产的故事，但几乎完全失败了。
It's a story that Starlee Kine kind of stumbled into by accident.
这是斯塔莉·凯恩偶然发现的一个故事。
Not long ago, I had to go to Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, for work.
不久前，我要去威斯康星州丰迪拉克工作。
So I went online and found one of those sites that booked hotels.
于是我上网找到了一个预订酒店的网站。
This was a typical review for the Fond du Lac Holiday Inn.
这是对丰迪拉克假日酒店的典型评论。
"If you want a nice vacation, but don't want to spend gobs of money, this is a place for you.
“如果你想要度过一个愉快的假期，但又不想花很多钱，那么这里就是适合你的地方。
Friendly staff, nice pool, great continental breakfast.
友好的工作人员，漂亮的游泳池，美味的欧陆式早餐。
The only problem was the elevator was a little slow.
唯一的问题是电梯有点慢。
Oh well."
哦，好吧。”
And this was the typical review for the Fond du Lac Ramada Hotel.
这是对丰迪拉克华美达酒店的典型评论。
"Service was great.
“服务很棒。
The good was good.
好的就是好的。
They're redoing their bar and it looks awesome.
他们正在重新装修他们的酒吧，看起来棒极了。
Only problem was that something sat down on my bed while I was sleeping.
唯一的问题是我睡觉时有东西坐在我的床上。
And I was alone.
而我独自一人。
I felt a hand resting on my chest.
我感觉到一只手放在我的胸口上。
It felt like my mother used to do when she would try to calm me down at night.
这感觉就像我母亲在晚上试图让我平静下来时所做的那样。
It brought back a pleasant memory, but if left me a bit on edge after that."
它给我带来了一段愉快的回忆，但在那之后却让我有点紧张。”
How could I pass up a recommendation like that?
我怎么能拒绝这样的推荐呢？
So tell me about the ghost.
那么请告诉我有关鬼魂的事情。
Woman He's Walter.
女人 他是沃尔特。
He's Walter.
他是沃尔特。
Woman He's Walter.
女人 他是沃尔特。
He's the ghost that likes to haunt us.
他是一个喜欢缠着我们的鬼魂。
Have you seen Walter?
你见过沃尔特吗？
Woman I haven't seen Walter, but I've felt him around here.
女人 我没见过沃尔特，但我感觉到他就在这儿。
Yeah?
是的？
What's that feel like?
那是什么感觉？
Woman Scary.
女人可怕。
Yeah, it's like a tingle up your back.
是的，就像你的后背发麻一样。
The Ramada Hotel is in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, right off of Highway 41.
Ramada Hotel 酒店位于威斯康星州丰迪拉克 (Fond du Lac)，毗邻 41 号高速公路。
And Walter is the ghost of the hotel's original owner, Walter Schroeder.
而沃尔特则是酒店原主人沃尔特·施罗德的鬼魂。
Almost all of the staff, most of them teenage girls, have had firsthand experiences with Walter.
几乎所有员工，其中大多数是十几岁的女孩，都与沃尔特有过亲身经历。
The staff keeps a log of every last door rattle or crashed drinking glass or glowing light attributed to him.
工作人员会记录下由他造成的每一次门的嘎嘎声、玻璃杯的碎裂或发光的灯光。
The biggest entry by far is what happened in room 717.
迄今为止最大的记录是717房间发生的事情。
It's a classic.
这是一个经典。
Here's Becky, the girl who works the weekend shift.
这是贝基，周末轮班的女孩。
What happened in room 717?
717房间发生了什么？
Becky Oh, that one.
贝基 噢，就是那个。
OK.
好的。
I guess there's a guest that called down about a complaint coming from one of the rooms that they could hear screaming for help.
我猜有一位客人打电话来投诉来自其中一个房间的投诉，他们可以听到尖叫声求救。
And at the time, Emily, who was the desk manager, was working.
当时，担任前台经理的艾米丽正在工作。
And she followed procedure, had maintenance go up there and check.
她遵循程序，让维护人员去那里检查。
And maintenance went up there and they went to 717 and the door was shaking, like someone from the inside was kicking it and pounding it and screaming for help.
维修人员去了那里，他们去了 717，门在摇晃，就像里面有人踢门、敲打门、尖叫着求救。
And they keys would not work to get into the door.
而且他们的钥匙无法进门。
And then, all of a sudden, it stopped.
然后，突然间，它停了下来。
And he went into the room and there was nothing there.
他走进房间，发现里面什么也没有。
He told Emily that the room was empty.
他告诉艾米丽房间是空的。
There was nobody in the closets.
壁橱里没有人。
He said from the force of the kicking on the doors, there should have been marks on the doors.
他说，从门上踢的力度来看，门上应该有痕迹。
But there was nothing.
但什么也没有。
I'm getting the goosebumps.
我起鸡皮疙瘩了。
There are long lists on the internet of hotels that try to lure guests in with promises of paranormal activity.
互联网上有很多酒店试图以超自然活动的承诺来吸引客人。
That talk more about their ghosts than they do their room rates.
他们谈论的更多是他们的鬼魂，而不是他们的房价。
But the Ramada in Fond du Lac has a refreshingly non-exploitative relationship to its ghost.
但丰迪拉克的华美达酒店与其幽灵有着令人耳目一新的非剥削关系。
Its bar is not called the House of Spirits, its restaurant isn't called the Haunted Hamburger.
它的酒吧不叫“House of Spirits”，它的餐厅也不叫“闹鬼的汉堡”。
They don't sell, "My grandmother went to Fond du Lac and lived to tell about it" t-shirts in the gift shop.
礼品店里不卖“我的祖母去了丰迪拉克并活着讲述这件事”的 T 恤。
In fact, it doesn't even have a gift shop.
事实上，它甚至没有礼品店。
Nope.
没有。
No, the only way you'll find out about Walter is if he chooses to make his presence known to you by say, pulling your hair, or switching the channels on your TV.
不，您了解沃尔特的唯一方法是他选择通过拉扯您的头发或切换电视频道等方式让您知道他的存在。
The hotel says his favorite is C-SPAN.
酒店说他最喜欢的是C-SPAN。
And according to the staff, as far as types of ghosts go, Walter's more of the annoying variety than the scary.
据工作人员介绍，就鬼魂的类型而言，沃尔特更多的是令人讨厌的鬼魂，而不是可怕的鬼魂。
His lot in the afterlife is to get blamed whenever anything goes wrong.
他在来世的命运就是每当出现任何问题时都会受到指责。
He's basically a scape ghost.
他基本上是一个景观幽灵。
Well, one time me and a coworker were counting the money and all of a sudden it disappeared.
嗯，有一次我和一位同事正在数钱，突然钱消失了。
And we counted it several times over and over repeatedly and it wasn't there anymore.
我们反复数了好几遍，它已经不在那儿了。
And then all of a sudden it showed up.
然后突然它出现了。
Yeah.
是的。
Man 1 I came on my shift and I opened the till.
男士 1 我来值班，打开收银台。
I put my money in.
我把钱放进去。
I made one transaction all night.
我整个晚上都做了一笔交易。
When I went to cash out, it was short-- do you remember what it was?
当我去兑现时，时间很短——你还记得那是什么吗？
$5.
5 美元。
Man 1 Yeah, it was short like $5 and some odd change.
男士 1 是的，它很短，只有 5 美元，还有一些奇怪的零钱。
And it was really strange because nobody else had gone in the till.
这真的很奇怪，因为没有其他人进入收银台。
And it was just simply gone.
它就这样消失了。
The computer, it beeps.
电脑，嘟嘟响。
It just beeps all the time and then I just tell it to shut up because I think it's Walter.
它一直发出嘟嘟声，然后我就叫它闭嘴，因为我认为是沃尔特。
I think he took a picture of me one time, me and another girl I was working with.
我想他有一次给我拍了一张照片，我和另一个和我一起工作的女孩。
We saw just a flash from the balcony.
我们只看到阳台上有一道闪光。
We didn't know what happened.
我们不知道发生了什么。
What would Walter want to do with a picture of you?
沃尔特想用你的照片做什么？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I just tell him to go away because he bugs me.
我只是告诉他走开，因为他烦我。
I spent a total of five nights at the Ramada and didn't really feel a presence, as much as I tried.
我在华美达酒店一共住了五个晚上，尽管我尝试了很多次，但并没有真正感受到这里的存在。
I wandered the halls whispering Walter's name.
我在大厅里徘徊，低声念叨着沃尔特的名字。
I took Polaroids in hopes of capturing a spirit waving from inside the vending machine.
我拿着宝丽来相机，希望捕捉到自动售货机内挥舞的灵魂。
I found the spookiest, most clearly hauntable place in the hotel, the locked ball room, and pressed my nose against its glass doors trying to spot the ghost inside.
我找到了酒店里最诡异、最明显闹鬼的地方——上锁的舞厅，我把鼻子贴在玻璃门上，试图找出里面的鬼魂。
The closest I came was the night I fell asleep with the TV on.
最接近的一次是我开着电视睡着的那晚。
When I went to bed it was on one channel, and then when I awoke the next morning, it was on another.
当我睡觉时，它在一个频道上播放，然后当我第二天早上醒来时，它在另一个频道上播放。
Not C-SPAN though, but the Bible channel.
不是 C-SPAN，而是圣经频道。
Other hotel ghosts usually stick around because they've been wronged in some way, or met an untimely death.
其他酒店鬼魂通常会留下来，因为他们受到了某种冤屈，或者英年早逝。
At the Holiday Inn in Buffalo, a little girl ghost named Tonya burnt to death in a house that once stood there.
在布法罗的假日酒店，一个名叫托尼娅的小女孩鬼魂在曾经矗立在那里的房子里被烧死。
Now she's always jumping on the hotel beds.
现在她总是在酒店的床上跳来跳去。
In New Mexico, a beautiful young maid named Rebecca was killed by a jealous lumberjack.
在新墨西哥州，一位名叫丽贝卡的年轻美丽女仆被嫉妒的伐木工人杀害。
And now her ghost likes to talk on the telephone in the governor's suite.
现在她的鬼魂喜欢在州长套房里打电话。
At the Golden North Hotel in Alabama, Mary lies waiting for eternity for a husband to return from his gold rushing expedition.
在阿拉巴马州的金北酒店，玛丽躺在那里，等待着丈夫从淘金探险归来。
And all the ghosts who haunt the Queen Mary Hotel in California were victims of accidental drownings.
而出没于加州玛丽皇后酒店的所有鬼魂都是意外溺水的受害者。
Except for the cook, whose food was so bad, he was murdered.
除了厨师，他的食物太难吃了，其他人都被谋杀了。
But the odd thing about Walter is that he doesn't even have a motive.
但沃尔特的奇怪之处在于他甚至没有动机。
In fact, I was shocked that no one on staff was even the least bit curious about why Walter would have stuck around.
事实上，令我震惊的是，工作人员中没有人对沃尔特为何留下来有丝毫好奇。
So why do you think Walter would choose this hotel?
那么您认为沃尔特为什么会选择这家酒店呢？
I have no idea.
我不知道。
Woman 2 I really don't know.
女人2我真的不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道。
Starlee Kine What could a man have done in his life that was so horrible, so wrong, so unbearably tragic that he'd be condemned to wander for eternity the halls of a Ramada hotel?
斯塔利·凯恩：一个人一生中到底做了什么事情，如此可怕、如此错误、如此令人难以忍受的悲剧，以至于他会被判处永远在华美达酒店的大厅里徘徊？
I decided to try to find out on my own, which meant doing some research.
我决定尝试自己找出答案，这意味着要做一些研究。
Before there was Walter the ghost, there was Walter the man.
在幽灵沃尔特出现之前，就有了人沃尔特。
And before there was a Ramada, there was a Retlaw, which is what the hotel was called when Walter originally owned it.
在华美达酒店 (Ramada) 出现之前，曾有一家瑞特劳酒店 (Retlaw)，这就是沃尔特最初拥有这家酒店时的名称。
Retlaw is Walter backwards.
Retlaw 是 Walter 的倒退。
Retlaw.
雷特劳。
It's just so ridiculously creepy, so redrum, that it's hard to not suspect that Walter had this whole ghost thing planned all along.
这实在是太可笑、令人毛骨悚然、太雷人了，以至于很难不怀疑沃尔特一直在计划这整件事。
The Retlaw Hotel opened in 1923.
瑞特劳酒店 (Retlaw Hotel) 于 1923 年开业。
Apparently there wasn't a lot to write about those days because the town newspaper devoted 22 pages to the hotel's opening.
显然，那些日子没有太多可写的，因为镇上的报纸用了 22 个版面来报道酒店的开业。
One article took up a full page describing the cigar case in the lobby, the second longest cigar case in the entire state.
一篇文章用了整整一页的篇幅描述了大厅里的雪茄盒，这是全州第二长的雪茄盒。
The Retlaw was a class act.
《Retlaw》是一项集体行动。
The rooms had chenille carpeting, velvet drapes, and furniture carved out of mahogany wood.
房间里铺着雪尼尔地毯、天鹅绒窗帘和红木雕刻的家具。
There were even special rooms for traveling salesmen with panels that folded down from the wall to display their wares.
甚至还有专门为旅行推销员准备的房间，房间里的面板可以从墙上折下来展示他们的商品。
There was a big party to celebrate the opening.
为了庆祝开业，举办了一场盛大的聚会。
In between all the dancing, 250 guests feasted on breast of milk-fed chicken, petit fours, and strangely, Saltines.
在所有舞蹈之间，250 名宾客享用了牛奶喂养的鸡胸肉、小蛋糕，还有奇怪的咸饼干。
Walter Schroeder made a toast: "Tonight I present the people of Fond du Lac with as fine a hotel as it is possible to build."
沃尔特·施罗德 (Walter Schroeder) 举杯祝酒：“今晚，我向丰迪拉克 (Fond du Lac) 人民展示了一座尽可能精美的酒店。”
Which, in itself, might be another clue.
这本身可能是另一个线索。
Whoever talks like that except at the ironic speech leading up to the big fire or the sinking of the sturdiest ship ever built?
除了导致大火或有史以来最坚固的船只沉没的讽刺演讲之外，谁会这样说话？
It's like the hotel version of, honey, I love you so much and there's something really special I've been meaning to ask you.
这就像酒店版的“亲爱的，我非常爱你，而且我一直想问你一些非常特别的事情”。
Oh, never mind, you've got a flight to catch.
哦，没关系，你还有航班要赶。
It can wait.
它可以等待。
Walter Schroeder was a man of accomplishment.
沃尔特·施罗德是一位有成就的人。
At 14, he got a job as a reporter for his local newspaper.
14 岁时，他找到了一份当地报纸记者的工作。
At 16, he started his own paper.
16岁时，他开始发表自己的论文。
At 21, he formed what would become the largest insurance agency in the state.
21 岁时，他成立了该州最大的保险机构。
By 24, his name had already appeared in the book, Notable Men of Wisconsin.
24 岁时，他的名字已经出现在《威斯康星名人》一书中。
And by the time he was 30, he was considered one of the most successful hotel operators the state had ever known.
当他 30 岁时，他被认为是该州有史以来最成功的酒店经营者之一。
The more I learned about Walter the man, the less Walter the ghost made sense.
我对沃尔特这个人了解得越多，沃尔特这个幽灵就越没有道理。
Especially after I spoke with Gary Simic, the head of the library named after Walter, at the Milwaukee School of Engineering.
尤其是在我与密尔沃基工程学院以沃尔特命名的图书馆馆长加里·西米克(Gary Simic)交谈之后。
Every morning for the last 17 years, Gary's been greeted by Walter's portrait opposite the front door.
过去 17 年来，每天早晨，迎接加里的都是前门对面沃尔特的肖像。
He says Walter looks like somebody's good-natured uncle.
他说沃尔特看起来像某人的好脾气叔叔。
From what we know about Walter, he was very nice man.
据我们对沃尔特的了解，他是一个非常好的人。
Very generous, very charitable man.
非常慷慨，非常慈善的人。
He was a man that liked people.
他是一个喜欢与人交往的人。
He was famous for his dinner parties that he held at the Schroeder Hotel, the old Schroeder Hotel in Milwaukee.
他因在施罗德酒店（密尔沃基的老施罗德酒店）举办的晚宴而闻名。
I remember in the archives seeing a picture of him at one of these dinner parties.
我记得在档案中看到过他在其中一次晚宴上的照片。
And, you know, people are laughing and he was a very gracious host.
而且，你知道，人们在笑，他是一位非常亲切的主人。
Seemed to enjoy people.
似乎很享受人们。
When Walter died, a foundation was started to distribute his many millions of dollars throughout Wisconsin.
沃尔特去世后，成立了一个基金会，将他的数百万美元分配给整个威斯康星州。
So now there's all these places that have Walter's name on them.
所以现在所有这些地方都以沃尔特的名字命名。
There's the Walter Schroeder Health Complex at Marquette University.
马凯特大学有沃尔特·施罗德健康中心。
There's the Walter Schroeder Intensive Care Unit at St. Mary's Hospital.
圣玛丽医院设有沃尔特·施罗德重症监护室。
There's even a Walter Schroeder student dormitory.
甚至还有沃尔特·施罗德的学生宿舍。
In addition to that, four of Walter Schroeder's seven hotels are still standing.
除此之外，沃尔特·施罗德 (Walter Schroeder) 的七家酒店中有四家仍然矗立。
Besides the Ramada, there's The Astor, The Wisconsin, and The Hotel Schroeder, Walter's favorite.
除了华美达酒店外，还有阿斯特酒店 (The Astor)、威斯康星酒店 (The Wisconsin) 和沃尔特最喜欢的施罗德酒店 (The Hotel Schroeder)。
Which raises the question, why would Walter have chosen to spend his death tromping around a hotel that wasn't even his top choice in life?
这就提出了一个问题，为什么沃尔特会选择在一家甚至不是他一生中的首选的酒店里度过他的死亡呢？
So I made some calls.
所以我打了一些电话。
I started with the Walter Schroeder wing of a YMCA in Brown Deer, Wisconsin.
我从威斯康星州棕鹿市基督教青年会的沃尔特·施罗德分部开始。
Front Desk, [UNINTELLIGIBLE] speaking.
前台，[无法听懂]说话。
How may I help you?
我可以怎样帮助您？
Hi, is this the Walter Schroeder Aquatic Center?
您好，这是沃尔特·施罗德水上运动中心吗？
I have a question to ask you.
我有个问题想问你。
It might sound a little unusual.
这听起来可能有点不寻常。
Are you aware that the ghost of Walter Schroeder is haunting the Ramada Inn in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin?
您是否知道沃尔特·施罗德的鬼魂出没于威斯康星州丰迪拉克的华美达酒店？
Well, OK.
好吧，好吧。
Off the record, but whatever.
不公开，但无论如何。
You can use what you want.
你可以使用你想要的。
They say he haunts here.
他们说他经常出没在这里。
They do?
他们这样做吗？
They do not.
他们没有。
Ymca Worker I swear to you they say that.
基督教青年会工人 我向你发誓他们是这么说的。
There's a guy who actually quit because he was freaked out.
有一个人实际上因为害怕而辞职了。
It's like an ongoing scary thing with the camp kids too.
对于营地里的孩子们来说，这也是一件持续不断的可怕事情。
Yep.
是的。
Starlee Kine Next I called the Scottish Rite Masonic Lodge in Milwaukee.
接下来，我给密尔沃基的苏格兰礼拜共济会小屋打了电话。
Walter was a proud mason for 30 years.
30 年来，沃尔特 (Walter) 一直是一位自豪的泥瓦匠。
When he died, they honored Walter's memory by naming a lounge after him, Walter's Lounge.
当他去世后，他们以他的名字命名了一个休息室“沃尔特休息室”以纪念他。
Dick, the custodian, answered the phone.
保管员迪克接了电话。
Hello, Scottish Rite.
你好，苏格兰仪式。
Starlee Kine Is this the Mason's Lodge in Milwaukee?
Starlee Kine 这是密尔沃基的梅森旅馆吗？
Yes.
是的。
Starlee Kine And you guys have a Walter Schroeder Lounge, right?
Starlee Kine 你们有一个 Walter Schroeder Lounge，对吧？
Did you know that Walter Schroeder's ghost is actually haunting the Ramada Inn in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin?
您是否知道沃尔特·施罗德的鬼魂实际上出没于威斯康星州丰迪拉克的华美达酒店？
Is that right?
是这样吗？
Well, I'm custodial here and I'm the guy that can tell you the noises I hear at night, I don't know.
好吧，我是这里的看守，我是那个可以告诉你我晚上听到的噪音的人，我不知道。
What's the Walter Schroeder Lounge like?
沃尔特·施罗德休息室怎么样？
Well, the Walter Schroeder Lounge has got three large chandeliers in it.
沃尔特·施罗德休息室里有三盏大吊灯。
It has a baby grand piano in it.
里面有一架小型三角钢琴。
Wow.
哇。
Did Walter play piano?
沃尔特弹钢琴吗？
Dick Well, that's the thing.
迪克 嗯，就是这样。
I'll tell you now, I've heard the piano play and no one's been in here.
我现在告诉你，我听到过钢琴演奏，但没人来过这里。
It's Walter?
是沃尔特?
Dick That's Walter.
迪克 那是沃尔特。
Part of him is here all the time.
他的一部分一直都在这里。
Poor Walter.
可怜的沃尔特。
In life, he was this great guy.
在生活中，他是一个很棒的人。
He built empires and hosted grand parties and gave away tons of money to organizations he believed in.
他建立了帝国，举办了盛大的聚会，并向他所信任的组织捐赠了大量资金。
But in death, according to the people all up and down the state of Wisconsin, he spends his days knocking glasses off shelves, and scaring little children at the pool, playing the piano, and swiping small bills from cash registers, and taking flash photographs of unsuspecting teenage girls.
但据威斯康星州上下的人们说，在他死后，他整天都在敲掉架子上的眼镜、在游泳池里吓唬小孩子、弹钢琴、从收银机上刷小额钞票、用闪光灯给毫无戒心的少女拍照。
Gary Simic at the Walter Schroeder Library has his work cut out for him, preserving Walter's memory.
沃尔特·施罗德图书馆的加里·西米克 (Gary Simic) 为他做好了工作，保存沃尔特的记忆。
We try to keep it alive.
我们努力让它保持活力。
When we do our teaching and our bibliographic and library instruction, we always mention who he was and why he was important.
当我们进行教学、书目和图书馆指导时，我们总是提到他是谁以及他为什么重要。
So how does it make you feel that for a lot of people in Fond du Lac, Walter Schroeder is nothing more than-- he's just a ghost?
那么，对于丰迪拉克的许多人来说，沃尔特·施罗德只不过是——他只是一个幽灵，你怎么会觉得呢？
Well, I feel bad about that.
嗯，我对此感到难过。
I think they need to know a little bit more about Walter.
我认为他们需要更多地了解沃尔特。
He was a nice guy and this has been my place.
他是一个好人，这就是我的地方。
And if not for him, we wouldn't be here.
如果没有他，我们就不会在这里。
So this is how it goes.
事情就是这样。
You live your life perfectly, and then you die.
你过着完美的生活，然后你就死了。
And no matter what, your fate is out of your hands.
不管怎样，你的命运是不由你掌控的。
If you're lucky, your legacy will carry on.
如果你幸运的话，你的遗产将会继续下去。
If you're like Walter, you'll get blamed for the mildly bad behavior of every ghost in the state of Wisconsin.
如果你像沃尔特一样，你就会因为威斯康星州每个鬼魂的轻微不良行为而受到指责。
What is so unfair about the whole thing is that every time Walter gets blamed, wrongly, for flushing a toilet in the middle of the night, or switching the TV to say, live coverage of the Senate Finance Committee, the real Walter is being remembered and forgotten at the same time.
整件事的不公平之处在于，每当沃尔特因为半夜冲厕所，或者把电视切换到参议院财政委员会的现场报道而受到错误的指责时，真正的沃尔特就会同时被记住和遗忘。
Starlee Kine.
斯塔莉·凯恩.
Coming up, whose heart doesn't break for a freezer full of Espteins?
快来吧，谁的心不会因为冰箱里装满了埃斯普斯坦而心碎呢？
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life , I'm Ira Glass.
这就是美国生活，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, stories of people and how they're remembered.
今天在我们的节目中，讲述人们的故事以及他们如何被铭记。
Mostly how they're remembered incorrectly.
主要是他们如何被错误地记住。
Before we start act three of our program, we have two more little stories from the StoryCorps project, a project devoted to preserving people's memories.
在我们开始第三幕之前，我们还有来自 StoryCorps 项目的两个小故事，该项目致力于保存人们的记忆。
Both of these are reunions of a sort captured on tape.
这两件事都是在磁带上捕捉到的某种团聚。
The first one is between two men who spent their childhoods together at a psychiatric hospital and recently united at the StoryCorps recording booth after 40 years.
第一个故事发生在两个男人之间，他们在精神病院一起度过了童年，40 年后最近在 StoryCorps 录音室重逢。
The second one is kind of self-explanatory.
第二个是不言自明的。
I'm seeing you after 40 years, and I'm seeing fear in you.
40年后我再次见到你，我在你身上看到了恐惧。
And let me ask you a very important question, do you feel institutionalized?
让我问你一个非常重要的问题，你觉得自己被制度化了吗？
No. Ralph Tremonte Because I'd like you to come out of that shell, man.
不，拉尔夫·特雷蒙特（Ralph Tremonte），因为我希望你能从那个外壳中走出来，伙计。
Because you're not free in that shell.
因为你在那个壳里并不自由。
And I want you to be free.
我希望你自由。
I'm free.
我有空了。
I do what I want now.
我现在做我想做的事。
But the only thing is--
但唯一的事情是——
But you're still scared.
但你还是害怕。
Donald Weiss No I'm not.
唐纳德·韦斯 不，我不是。
Yes you are.
是的，你是。
And I want to tell you something else.
我还想告诉你一些别的事情。
Don't stop having interest in women.
不要停止对女人的兴趣。
You're a free man and you should feel that maybe you could pick up a lady or meet a lady.
你是一个自由的人，你应该觉得也许你可以认识一位女士或遇见一位女士。
I have one.
我有一个。
Ralph Tremonte That's great.
拉尔夫·特里蒙特 太棒了。
Her name is Marion.
她的名字叫玛丽昂。
Ralph Tremonte And another thing.
拉尔夫·特里蒙特 还有另一件事。
What you should do is make your home more comfortable to live in.
你应该做的就是让你的家住得更舒服。
Get yourself a CD player, listen to some music.
给自己买一个CD播放器，听听音乐。
Don't stay in that shell.
不要留在那个壳里。
Do you do a lot of reading?
你读书很多吗？
Yes.
是的。
Dirty novels.
肮脏的小说。
Ralph Tremonte Well, dirty novels is all right.
拉尔夫·特里蒙特 好吧，色情小说没关系。
That's not against the law.
这并不违法。
That's why they sell them, Donald.
这就是他们卖掉它们的原因，唐纳德。
You're not allowing yourself to exercise your freedom, man, and that's what I want you to do, man.
你不允许自己行使你的自由，伙计，而这正是我希望你做的，伙计。
Because that'll make me real happy and you'll be able to come out of that shell, man.
因为那会让我真正高兴，你就能摆脱那个外壳，伙计。
Because I really don't want you in that shell for the rest of your life.
因为我真的不想让你一辈子都在那个壳里。
That's the way I feel about it, man.
这就是我的感受，伙计。
Go ahead, Donald, I want to hear you.
继续吧，唐纳德，我想听听你的声音。
I haven't seen you in 40 years.
我已经四十年没见过你了。
That fear in that darn, lousy hospital is still in my system.
那家该死的、糟糕的医院里的恐惧仍然存在于我的脑海里。
Yeah, well you're never going to get rid of that.
是的，你永远无法摆脱它。
But guess what?
但你猜怎么着？
I might get rid of it.
我可能会摆脱它。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE] is gone.
[无法辨认]消失了。
The memory is always going to be there.
记忆永远都会在那里。
But guess what?
但你猜怎么着？
You don't have to live it for the rest of your life.
你不必一辈子都过着这样的生活。
I used to bite my fingers about [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
我曾经为[无法理解]而咬手指。
Donald, they don't have that many hospitals to put anybody in no more.
唐纳德，他们没有那么多医院可以容纳更多的人。
I know.
我知道。
Ralph Tremonte We're not living in that era anymore.
拉尔夫·特里蒙特：我们不再生活在那个时代了。
That era is dead.
那个时代已经死了。
You're free, man.
你自由了，伙计。
You don't have to take that.
你不必接受这个。
Am I right, Donald?
我说得对吗，唐纳德？
Right.
正确的。
Ralph Tremonte Say it loud and clear.
拉尔夫·特雷蒙特 (Ralph Tremonte) 大声而清晰地说。
Right, 100%.
对的，100%。
Brad Skow Can you tell me about the day I was born?
Brad Skow 你能告诉我我出生的那一天吗？
The doctor took you away quickly because they had asked if I wanted to hold you.
医生很快就把你带走了，因为他们问我要不要抱你。
And I said, no, because I was afraid if I held you I wouldn't be able to give you up.
我说，不，因为我害怕如果我抱着你，我就无法放弃你。
So they took you away crying and that was all I saw.
所以他们哭着把你带走了，这就是我所看到的。
And they didn't put me in the maternity ward because they were afraid that would be too hard for me.
他们没有把我送进产房，因为他们担心这对我来说太难了。
They just put me in the women's ward.
他们只是把我送进了女子病房。
And I remember one of the nurses coming up after you were born and I was crying a lot.
我记得你出生后一位护士过来，我哭了很多。
And she just came up and she just talked to me for a really long time.
她就过来和我聊了很长时间。
And she said, you know, it's going to be OK.
她说，你知道，一切都会好起来的。
It just takes time.
只是需要时间。
And it took, I don't know, about five years before I stopped thinking about you every day and crying to just thinking about you every week.
我不知道，大约花了五年时间，我才不再每天都想着你，也不再每周都因为想着你而哭泣。
To the point where it only happened about once a month, but it still made me sad.
甚至每个月只发生一次，但这仍然让我难过。
So I have one more question, and it's the big one you've been waiting for.
我还有一个问题，也是您一直在等待的大问题。
You now know having lived through it what the consequences of choosing to give me up are, so knowing what you know now, would you do it again?
你现在已经经历过，知道选择放弃我的后果是什么，所以知道你现在所知道的，你会再这样做吗？
Well, of course knowing what I know now I wouldn't do it again.
嗯，当然知道我现在所知道的，我不会再这样做了。
I remember I used to talk to you a lot when I was pregnant and explain the whole situation, why I had to do this.
我记得我怀孕时曾经和你聊过很多次，向你解释整个情况，为什么我必须这样做。
That I wasn't ready to be a mother.
我还没有准备好成为一名母亲。
I didn't have a father for you.
我没有你的父亲。
I was really sure of myself, I remember that.
我真的对自己很有信心，我记得这一点。
That this was the best decision.
认为这是最好的决定。
But now I wouldn't even think about it because the separation and the loss is just way too hard.
但现在我什至不会去想它，因为分离和失去实在太痛苦了。
I mean, we have a relationship now and it's great.
我的意思是，我们现在已经建立了关系，而且非常棒。
You've sort of become part of the family, but I missed 20 years.
你已经成为这个家庭的一部分了，但我却错过了20年。
And you can't ever get that back.
而且你永远无法收回它。
Mary Lou Maher and her son Brad Skow.
玛丽·卢·马赫和她的儿子布拉德·斯科。
She was a college freshman, just 17, when she found out she was pregnant.
当她发现自己怀孕时，她还是一名大学新生，年仅 17 岁。
Before her were Ralph Tremonte and Donald Weiss.
在她之前的是拉尔夫·特里蒙特和唐纳德·韦斯。
Thanks to Sarah Kramer and the staff of StoryCorps.
感谢 Sarah Kramer 和 StoryCorps 的工作人员。
Their website, storycorps.net.
他们的网站是storycorps.net。
Which brings us to act three, "Giving Up the Ghosts."
接下来我们进入第三幕“放弃鬼魂”。
We've been talking about how people are remembered all hour long, and of course, some people don't want to remember the dead at all.
我们一直在谈论人们是如何被记住的，当然，有些人根本不想记住死者。
They turn their backs.
他们转过身去。
Shalom Auslander has this story from the years after he left yeshiva, the Jewish religious school, where he was raised.
沙洛姆·奥斯兰德（Shalom Auslander）在离开他长大的犹太宗教学校 yeshiva 后的几年里讲述了这个故事。
ON a good week, you might get two or three dead bodies.
天气好的时候，你可能会看到两到三具尸体。
Then there were the weeks where it seemed not a single goddamn person would die.
接下来的几个星期，似乎没有一个该死的人会死。
Impatient, I would phone a man named Mati.
我不耐烦地给一个名叫马蒂的人打电话。
Mati was the dispatcher.
马蒂是调度员。
Anything, I would ask?
我想问一下，有什么事吗？
Nothing, Mati would say.
没什么，马蒂会说。
Did I beep you?
我给你发出嘟嘟声了吗？
When somebody died, their family would call Mati.
当有人去世时，他们的家人会打电话给马蒂。
And Mati would call me.
马蒂会给我打电话。
I was a watcher, a [UNINTELLIGIBLE] in Hebrew.
我是一个观察者，希伯来语中的一个[无法辨认]。
According to Jewish belief, the soul departs the body at the time of death but sort of hangs out until the body is buried.
根据犹太人的信仰，灵魂在死亡时离开身体，但会一直徘徊直到尸体被埋葬。
This can be a terribly distressing time for the soul, what with all the not having a body and that being invisible and the floating around.
对于灵魂来说，这可能是一段非常痛苦的时期，因为没有身体，身体是看不见的，漂浮在周围。
Therefore, the rabbis decreed, from the moment of death to the moment of burial, the body of the deceased must never be left alone.
因此，拉比们规定，从死亡的那一刻到下葬的那一刻，死者的尸体绝对不能被单独留下。
Traditionally, a member of the family would sit with the body.
传统上，家庭成员会坐在遗体旁边。
But if nobody in the family wanted to sit with a cold, dead body in the cold, dark basement of a cold, empty funeral home, the family called Mati.
但如果家里没有人愿意和一具冰冷的尸体一起坐在寒冷、空荡荡的殡仪馆寒冷、黑暗的地下室里，家人就会打电话给马蒂。
And Mati called me.
马蒂给我打电话。
Flushing Meadows Memorial, Jewel Avenue, Schwartz.
法拉盛梅多斯纪念馆，宝石大道，施瓦茨。
Oceanside Memorial, 2111 Atlantic Avenue, Finkel.
欧申赛德纪念馆，2111 大西洋大道，芬克尔。
Riverdale Hebrew Home, Riverside and 268th Street, Dweck.
Riverdale希伯来之家，位于Riverside和268街，Dweck。
The ancient rabbis tell us that being a watcher is a wonderful mitzvah, or good deed, for which the almighty blessed be he and the world to come will abundantly reward us.
古代拉比告诉我们，成为一名守望者是一项美妙的成人礼，即善行，全能的上帝和未来的世界将为此给予我们丰厚的回报。
That was all well and good, but Mati paid $85 a night, cash, and that was all the reward I needed.
一切都很好，但 Mati 每晚支付 85 美元现金，这就是我所需要的全部奖励。
I was 19 years old, living away from home for the first time.
那年我19岁，第一次离开家。
I had spent my entire life in yeshivas, raised like a veal in the orthodox skinner box of God.
我一生都在犹太学校度过，就像上帝正统剥皮箱里的小牛肉一样。
And though I certainly looked the part with my black pants, white button-down shirt, and black wide-brimmed fedora, lately I had been feeling less and less Jerusalem and more and more Gomorrah.
虽然我穿着黑色裤子、白色系扣衬衫和黑色宽边软呢帽，看起来确实很适合这个角色，但最近我越来越感觉不到耶路撒冷，而越来越感觉蛾摩拉。
In the beginning, I could count on two jobs a week.
一开始，我每周可以做两份工作。
Three if I was lucky.
如果我幸运的话，三个。
Friday nights paid double, almost $200.
周五晚上的工资是双倍的，差不多200美元。
But you had to show up Friday evening and stay until after Sabbath ended late on Saturday night.
但你必须在周五晚上出现并一直呆到周六晚上安息日结束后。
That was a long time to spend with a dead body, even for me.
与尸体相处的时间很长，即使对我来说也是如此。
But $200 was $200 and I was no idiot.
但 200 美元就是 200 美元，我不是白痴。
I was saving up for a 1982 Ford Mustang convertible.
我正在攒钱买一辆 1982 款福特野马敞篷车。
It was surprisingly pleasant work.
这是令人惊讶的愉快的工作。
The dead were my kind of people.
死者是我的同类。
Bring a pillow said Mati the first time he called, and a tehillim.
马蒂第一次打电话时说，带一个枕头和一个泰希林。
Tehillim is Hebrew for the book of psalms.
Tehillim 是希伯来语，意为《诗篇》。
And a snack, he added.
他补充道，还有一份小吃。
Whatever you want, said Mati.
无论你想要什么，马蒂说。
Like what, potato chips?
比如什么，薯片？
Potato chips are fine.
薯片还是不错的
Can I bring a sandwich?
我可以带三明治吗？
Tuna?
金枪鱼？
There was a pause while Mati considered the theological implications.
马蒂思考神学含义时停顿了一下。
You can bring a sandwich, Mati decreed.
你可以带一个三明治，马蒂规定。
Cue Gardens Funeral, Jewel Avenue, Bernstein.
伯恩斯坦宝石大道的提示花园葬礼。
My first job.
我的第一份工作。
Mati told me to be there no later than 7 o'clock in the evening our I wouldn't be able to get in.
Mati 告诉我最迟要在晚上 7 点之前到达那里，否则我就无法进去了。
The security guard would have an envelope for me with $85 and in it and he would show me to the body.
保安会给我一个信封，里面有 85 美元，他会带我去看尸体。
I'd never been in a funeral home before.
我以前从未去过殡仪馆。
The main floor was lavishly decorated, Victorian style furniture, heavy, golden drapery, Italian marble.
主层装饰华丽，维多利亚风格的家具，厚重的金色窗帘，意大利大理石。
The guard led me across the lobby to a steel door in the back.
警卫领着我穿过大厅，来到后面的一扇钢门前。
We made our way down the bare wooden stairs to the basement where they kept the bodies, and I remember the old adage about never looking inside the kitchen of your favorite restaurant.
我们沿着光秃秃的木楼梯走到地下室，那里存放着尸体，我记得一句古老的格言：永远不要看你最喜欢的餐厅的厨房里面。
There was no drapery and there was no marble.
没有窗帘，也没有大理石。
There were a lot of rusty pipes and a noisy boiler and a dangerously overloaded fuse box.
有很多生锈的管道、吵闹的锅炉和危险的超载保险丝盒。
The only furniture, aside from some spare hospital gurneys, was a battered old metal folding chair.
除了一些备用的医院轮床之外，唯一的家具是一把破旧的金属折叠椅。
There you go, said the guard.
就这样吧，守卫说。
There's a toilet at the end of the hall.
大厅的尽头有一个厕所。
I'm here for Bernstein, I said.
我是为了伯恩斯坦而来的，我说。
Is there a Bernstein here?
这里有伯恩斯坦吗？
He pointed to the large stainless steel door of a commercial refrigerator.
他指着商用冰箱的不锈钢大门。
Bernstein, he said.
伯恩斯坦，他说。
I'll be here another 15 minutes if you need anything.
如果您需要什么，我会再待 15 分钟。
I opened my backpack and took out a bottle of purple Gatorade and my book of psalms.
我打开背包，拿出一瓶紫色佳得乐和我的诗篇。
Blessed is he who goes in the path of their-- oh, brother.
走他们的道路的人是有福的——哦，兄弟。
It seemed a bit to be given Bernstein that sort of advice.
伯恩斯坦给出这样的建议似乎有点不妥。
I don't know about you, Bernstein, I said, but I'm beat.
我不了解你，伯恩斯坦，我说，但我已经被打败了。
I laid down on the gurney, put on my Walkman, smoked half a joint, and tried to sleep.
我躺在轮床上，戴上随身听，抽了半根烟，试图睡觉。
I was pretty sure there was no such thing as a soul.
我很确定不存在灵魂这样的东西。
And even if there were, I was pretty sure that a glassy-eyed teenage pothead munching his way through a bag of Doritos Cool Ranch tortilla chips wasn't going to offer it a whole heap of consolation.
即使有，我也很确定，一个眼神呆滞的青少年瘾君子咀嚼一袋多力多滋酷牧场玉米片也不会给它带来一大堆安慰。
Business was good.
生意很好。
I enjoyed the independence.
我很享受独立。
I made my own hours.
我自己安排时间。
No meetings, no small talk.
没有会议，没有闲聊。
It was just me, my sandwich, a small bag of marijuana, a pack of smokes, Guns and Roses "Appetite for Destruction," and some dead guy in a big steel fridge.
只有我，我的三明治，一小袋大麻，一包烟，枪与玫瑰“毁灭的欲望”，还有一个大钢冰箱里的一些死人。
Unfortunately, Jewish law stated that a watcher is only permitted to watch one body at a time.
不幸的是，犹太法律规定，观察者一次只能观察一具尸体。
If there was only one body in the funeral home, it was clear which body I was watching and there was no need for me to see it.
如果殡仪馆里只有一具尸体，那么我在看哪具尸体就很清楚了，我没有必要去看它。
Occasionally, though, the fridge was packed floor to ceiling, which meant I was required to open the door and make actual eye contact with the body I was meant to be watching.
不过，有时候，冰箱从地板到天花板都塞得满满的，这意味着我需要打开门，与我本来要观察的身体进行真正的眼神交流。
Like most things biblical, this was a less than foolproof method that led to a certain amount of confusion.
与圣经中的大多数事物一样，这种方法不太万无一失，会导致一定程度的混乱。
One night I was told to watch an Epstein.
一天晚上，我被告知要看一部爱泼斯坦的作品。
Inside the fridge I found three of them, a David Epstein, a Gerald Epstein, and a Motia Epstein.
在冰箱里我发现了三个，一个是大卫·爱泼斯坦，一个是杰拉德·爱泼斯坦，一个是莫蒂亚·爱泼斯坦。
I caught the funeral director just before he left for the night.
就在葬礼承办人离开过夜之前，我遇见了他。
Yep, he said, we got us a whole load of Epsteins.
是的，他说，我们买了一大堆爱泼斯坦的作品。
We stepped inside the fridge.
我们走进冰箱。
Which Epstein is mine?
哪个爱泼斯坦是我的？
I asked.
我问。
Which Epstein in mine, he repeated as he checked their tags.
我的就是爱泼斯坦，他在检查标签时重复道。
As if it were some sort of deep, existential question mankind has pondered since time began.
仿佛这是人类自古以来就一直在思考的某种深刻的、存在的问题。
Which Epstein is mine?
哪个爱泼斯坦是我的？
How will I find my Epstein?
我怎样才能找到我的爱泼斯坦？
He suggested I cover my bases and take a good, solid look at each of the Epsteins.
他建议我保护好自己的基础，仔细、扎实地审视每一位爱泼斯坦夫妇。
Can't go wrong that way, he said.
他说，这样就不会出错。
Really?
真的吗？
I asked.
我问。
You sure that's kosher?
你确定那是犹太洁食吗？
Kosher with me, he said.
和我一起犹太洁食，他说。
A ghoulish economics developed.
残酷的经济发展起来了。
All that dying was making me a nice living.
所有的死亡都让我过上了美好的生活。
One dead paid my AmEx bill.
一名死者支付了我的美国运通账单。
Three deads covered my share of the rent.
三个死者支付了我应得的房租。
A weekend job covered me for weed and food, and soon I was done for the month.
周末的工作涵盖了我的杂草和食物，很快我就完成了这个月的工作。
Every dead after that was just gravy.
此后的每一个死者都只是肉汁。
Two deads got me some new Air Jordans, three deads was a new TV.
两个死者给了我一些新的Air Jordans，三个死者给了我一台新电视。
If Mati could have guaranteed me a solid extra dead a week, I would have ordered HBO.
如果马蒂能保证我一周能多死几个人，我就会订 HBO。
But I was no fool.
但我并不傻。
I was saving up for a 1982 Ford Mustang convertible.
我正在攒钱买一辆 1982 款福特野马敞篷车。
Death didn't bother me.
死亡并没有困扰我。
I'd never personally known anybody that died, but after 19 years in orthodox yeshiva, I was pretty familiar with death.
我个人从来不认识任何死去的人，但在正统犹太学院呆了 19 年之后，我对死亡已经相当熟悉了。
The Jewish holidays all seemed to involve someone killing us, someone trying to kill us, or our praying to God so that he doesn't kill us himself.
犹太节日似乎都涉及有人杀了我们，有人试图杀我们，或者我们向上帝祈祷，以免他亲手杀了我们。
Jewish history was the same.
犹太历史也是如此。
If the Babylonians weren't trying to kill us, it was the Romans.
如果不是巴比伦人想杀死我们，那就是罗马人。
If it wasn't the Romans, it was the Spanish.
如果不是罗马人，那就是西班牙人了。
And if it wasn't the Spanish, it was the Germans.
如果不是西班牙人，那就是德国人。
Every Holocaust Remembrance Day, we were led into the school auditorium to watch hours and hours of newsreel footage of concentration camps and gas chambers.
每个大屠杀纪念日，我们都会被带到学校礼堂，观看数小时的集中营和毒气室的新闻短片。
So graphic was the footage that we needed special permission forms signed by our parents.
这些镜头如此生动，我们需要父母签署的特别许可表格。
This was never a problem for me.
这对我来说从来都不是问题。
My mother lived for death.
我的母亲为死亡而生。
Nothing made her happier than sadness.
没有什么比悲伤更让她高兴的了。
Nothing made her more joyful than melancholy.
没有什么比忧郁更让她高兴的了。
She worked as a medical assistant for a local pediatrician and the tragedies she witnessed there were at least as much a perk as the dental coverage.
她曾担任当地儿科医生的医疗助理，她在那里目睹的悲剧至少与牙科保险一样多。
A boy came into the office today, she would say at dinner.
今天有一个男孩来到办公室，她在晚餐时会说。
Hepatitis.
肝炎。
She would pause to take a long, slow sip of her soup.
她会停下来，慢慢地喝一口汤。
C, she would add.
C，她会补充道。
My father would pound the table with his fist.
我父亲会用拳头敲桌子。
Do we have to listen to this crap every goddamn meal, he would bark, taking his plate into the kitchen to finish eating.
难道我们每顿该死的饭菜都要听这些废话吗？他会一边叫着，一边端着盘子走进厨房吃完饭。
Indeed, we did.
确实，我们做到了。
It's a death sentence, she would say once he'd left.
一旦他离开，她就会说，这就是死刑。
Kid doesn't have a chance.
孩子没有机会了
Lung infections, genetic disease, spinal meningitis.
肺部感染、遗传病、脊髓膜炎。
I ate as quickly as I could hoping to get through dessert before the gastrointestinal disorders.
我尽可能快地吃东西，希望能在胃肠道疾病发生之前吃完甜点。
I had a brother who died years before I was born.
我有一个兄弟，他在我出生前几年就去世了。
His name was Jeffy.
他的名字叫杰菲。
Between Jeffy and my relatives who died in the Holocaust, my mother had more pictures of the dead on our walls than she had of the living.
在杰菲和我在大屠杀中死去的亲戚之间，我母亲在我们的墙上挂着的死者的照片比生者的照片还要多。
By the time I was nine years old, my father drank heavily and physically abused my older brother.
当我九岁的时候，我的父亲酗酒并虐待我的哥哥。
My brother hated my mother and resented me.
我哥哥讨厌我的母亲，也怨恨我。
My mother loathed my brother and doted on me and my sister.
我的母亲厌恶我的兄弟，却溺爱我和妹妹。
My sister hated my brother and defended my mother.
我的姐姐恨我的哥哥并维护我的母亲。
I envied my brother and pitied my mother.
我羡慕我的哥哥，可怜我的母亲。
And my father hated us all.
我父亲恨我们所有人。
All of this, the family story goes, because Jeffy died.
据家族故事记载，这一切都是因为杰菲去世了。
You should never know the pain of losing a child, my mother said to me.
“你永远不应该知道失去孩子的痛苦，”我母亲对我说。
Between my mother and my rabbis, death wasn't the worst thing I could imagine.
在我的母亲和我的拉比看来，死亡并不是我能想象的最糟糕的事情。
In fact, by the time I was 19, I couldn't care less about it.
事实上，当我19岁的时候，我已经不在乎这些了。
A few months after I started, Mati hired a second watcher.
我开始工作几个月后，马蒂聘请了第二位观察员。
Business was good, Mati was branching out, expanding to meet customer demand.
生意很好，Mati 开始拓展业务，以满足客户的需求。
And I didn't like it.
我不喜欢它。
The new watcher's name was David.
新守望者的名字叫大卫。
David was Mati's cousin, and I was convinced he was receiving preferential treatment.
大卫是马蒂的表弟，我确信他受到了优待。
He was given nearly every weekend job, the $200 types.
几乎每个周末他都会得到一份价值 200 美元的工作。
And I was pretty sure he getting first pick of the midweek gigs as well.
我很确定他也会优先选择周中的演出。
Impatient, I phoned Mati.
我不耐烦地给马蒂打电话。
Anything?
任何事物？
I would ask.
我会问。
Nothing, Mati would say.
没什么，马蒂会说。
Did I beep you?
我给你发出嘟嘟声了吗？
No, I would say, just checking.
不，我想说，只是检查一下。
I'll beep you, he would say.
他会说，我会给你发蜂鸣声。
The third watcher Mati hired was named Schmoa.
马蒂雇用的第三位观察员名叫施莫阿。
Schmoa was an ultra-orthodox yeshiva student who knew Mati from synagogue and cynically pretended that the money didn't matter to him.
施莫阿是一名极端正统的犹太学院学生，他在犹太教堂里认识马蒂，并愤世嫉俗地假装钱对他来说并不重要。
I need the mitzvahs, he would say to Mati, clapping his hands with righteous glee.
我需要成人礼，他会对马蒂说，并带着正义的喜悦拍着手。
Listen, rabbi, I thought, back of the line.
听着，拉比，我想，在队伍后面。
You've got the rest of your life to earn rewards for the next world.
你有余生为下一个世界赢得奖励。
I'm trying to buy a car in this one.
我正想买一辆这样的车。
Pretty soon I was down to one lousy dead every two or three weeks.
很快，我的死亡人数就减少到每两三周就会死一个人。
Impatient, I phoned Mati.
我不耐烦地给马蒂打电话。
Anything?
任何事物？
I asked.
我问。
Nothing, Mati said.
没什么，马蒂说。
Did I beep you?
我给你发出嘟嘟声了吗？
Nothing?
没有什么？
I asked.
我问。
Nobody's died in the past three weeks in all of Brooklyn and Queens?
过去三周布鲁克林和皇后区没有人死亡？
Blessed is he who heals the sick, said Mati.
马蒂说，治愈病人的人是有福的。
Oh, bullshit, I said, and slammed down the phone.
哦，胡说，我说，然后摔断了电话。
Goddamn death was all about who you know.
该死的死亡与你认识的人有关。
Mati never beeped me again.
马蒂再也没有给我发出嘟嘟声。
And frankly, I didn't want him to.
坦白说，我不想让他这么做。
I'd had almost a whole month off from death.
我离死亡还有将近一个月的时间。
No funeral homes, no refrigerators.
没有殡仪馆，没有冰箱。
No suffering of any kind when my mother called to tell me that my grandmother had passed away.
当我母亲打电话告诉我祖母去世时，我没有遭受任何痛苦。
She's at the Zion Gate Memorial Home, she said.
她说，她在锡安门纪念馆。
You know where it is.
你知道它在哪里。
My mother had been proud of my watching career and had been said to hear of its sudden demise.
我母亲一直为我的观看生涯感到自豪，据说也听说了我的观看生涯的突然终止。
She was like a Yankee fan that knew someone who worked for the team.
她就像一个认识为球队工作的人的洋基队球迷。
She'd known someone on the inside of sorrow, her favorite sport.
她认识一个内心悲伤的人，这是她最喜欢的运动。
I know where it is, I said.
我知道它在哪里，我说。
She blew her nose into the phone and sighed deeply.
她对着电话擤了擤鼻涕，深深地叹了口气。
So unexpected, she said.
太出乎意料了，她说。
That's the hardest part.
这是最难的部分。
My grandmother had died from Alzheimer's, a disease she'd had for well over seven years.
我的祖母死于阿尔茨海默氏症，她患这种病已有七年多了。
I got to Zion Gate, walked heavily down the stairs, threw my bag on a nearby gurney, and dropped into my old seat on the metal folding chair beside the fridge.
我到达锡安门，沉重地走下楼梯，把包扔到附近的轮床上，然后坐到冰箱旁边金属折叠椅上的旧座位上。
I didn't know my grandmother well.
我不太了解我的祖母。
The disease had killed her mind years before it finally came back for her body.
这种疾病在几年前就已经夺走了她的思想，但最终又回到了她的身体上。
But I had some fond memories of her from my childhood.
但我从小就对她有一些美好的回忆。
Memories I desperately ran through my mind, trying for once to feel something, anything for the dead body inside that fridge.
我拼命地回忆着我的脑海，试图对冰箱里的尸体有任何感觉。
I remembered how when I was young she would bring us Rice Krispy treats that she made with real Fluffernutter, which everyone knows isn't kosher.
我记得当我年轻的时候，她会给我们带来她用真正的 Fluffernutter 制作的脆米花，每个人都知道这不是犹太洁食。
They're just kids, she would say to my mother.
他们只是孩子，她会对我母亲说。
And when my mother's back was turned, she'd put her finger over her lips to keep us quiet and silently hand us boxes of non-kosher Chiclets chewing gum.
当我母亲转过身去时，她会把手指放在嘴唇上让我们保持安静，然后默默地递给我们几盒不符合犹太洁食的巧克力口香糖。
But it was no use.
但没有用。
I didn't know her that well and I sat there fuming, picturing my mother upstairs, the belle of the misery ball.
我不太了解她，我坐在那里，气愤地想象着我的母亲在楼上，她是痛苦舞会上的美女。
Should be sighing and hugging and reciting Yiddish aphorisms about the inescapable brutality of our wretched lives.
应该叹息、拥抱、背诵意第绪语格言，讲述我们悲惨生活中不可避免的残酷。
I felt like Al Pacino in that mafia movie.
我感觉就像那部黑手党电影中的阿尔·帕西诺。
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
正当我以为我已经出去的时候，他们却把我拉了回来。
I opened my Gatorade, took a few hits off a joint, put on my Walkman and tried to get some sleep.
我打开佳得乐，喝了几口烟，戴上随身听，想睡一会儿。
It was already 11:00 PM and I had to be at my new job at the hardware store early the next morning.
已经是晚上 11:00 了，第二天一早我就要去五金店上班了。
Let the rest of them mourn.
让其余的人哀悼吧。
I was saving up for a 1982 Ford Mustang convertible.
我正在攒钱买一辆 1982 款福特野马敞篷车。
Shalom Auslander.
沙洛姆·奥斯兰德.
His book, Foreskin's Lament , was a 2007 New York Times Notable Book of the Year.
他的著作《包皮的哀歌》被《纽约时报》评为 2007 年年度杰出图书。
It has just come out in paperback.
它刚刚出版了平装本。
[MUSIC - "LIVE AND LET DIE" BY GUNS 'N' ROSES.
[音乐 - Guns 'N' Roses 的“LIVE AND LET DIE”。
Our program was produced by Sarah Koenig and myself, with Alex Blumberg, Diane Cook, Wendy Dorr, Jane Feltes, and Lisa Pollak.
我们的节目由 Sarah Koenig 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Diane Cook、Wendy Dorr、Jane Feltes 和 Lisa Pollak 共同制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Our protection manager is Seth Lind.
我们的保护经理是 Seth Lind。
Adrianne Mathiowetz runs our website.
阿德琳娜·马修韦茨 (Adrianne Mathiowetz) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Todd Bachmann, Kevin Clark, Thea Chaloner, and Andy Dixon.
托德·巴赫曼、凯文·克拉克、西娅·查洛纳和安迪·迪克森为制作提供了帮助。
StoryCorps funders include the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, National Public Radio, the Ford Foundation and the Open Society Institute.
StoryCorps 的资助者包括公共广播公司、国家公共广播电台、福特基金会和开放社会研究所。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, where right now you can get tickets to our live movie event.
[鸣谢] 我们的网站，您现在可以在其中获取我们现场电影活动的门票。
That's right, we are doing our radio show in front of a live audience and beaming it to movie theaters all over the country.
没错，我们正在现场观众面前制作广播节目，并将其传送到全国各地的电影院。
You can see us one night, April 23, one night only.
您可以在 4 月 23 日晚上与我们见面，仅限一晚。
For tickets, www.thisamericanlife.org.
如需门票，请访问 www.thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our program by our boss Mr. Torey Malatia, who describes what it is like for him running our radio station.
我们的老板 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行 WBEZ 管理监督，他描述了他经营我们广播电台的情况。
It was just me, my sandwich, pack of smokes, Guns and Roses "Appetite for Destruction," and a small bag of marijuana.
只有我、我的三明治、一包烟、枪与玫瑰“毁灭的欲望”和一小袋大麻。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with my stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周我会带着《美国生活》的故事回来。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。