28: Detectives - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #28 | August 17, 2007 28: Detectives Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 28 集 | 2007 年 8 月 17 日 28：侦探 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass From WBEZ Chicago and Public Radio International, it's This American Life.
序言 来自 WBEZ 芝加哥和国际公共广播电台的 Ira Glass，这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
This is my detective book.
这是我的侦探书。
I would go to the library and get all these books out on the FBI, take notes, learn words.
我会去图书馆拿出所有关于联邦调查局的书，做笔记，学习单词。
So this book, just to describe it, it's an old, loose-leaf notebook with 1960s-era flowers all over it and stickers all over the cover.
所以这本书，简单来说，它是一本旧的活页笔记本，上面布满了 20 世纪 60 年代的花朵，封面上也贴满了贴纸。
Really tacky stickers.
真的很俗气的贴纸。
Ira Glass How many of us today have had a moment where we entertained that dream of being a private eye, of being Kojak or Columbo or Rockford or-- there are just so many.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 今天，我们中有多少人曾有过这样的时刻：我们曾梦想成为一名私家侦探，成为科贾克 (Kojak)、科伦坡 (Columbo) 或罗克福德 (Rockford)，或者——这样的人太多了。
Well, I'm Ira Glass.
嗯，我是艾拉·格拉斯。
And, of course, every week on this program we bring you a variety of stories documenting every day life in these United States.
当然，每周我们都会在这个节目中为您带来各种记录美国日常生活的故事。
And on today's program, we're going to hear a number of stories about people who want to be detectives, adults and children.
在今天的节目中，我们将听到许多关于想成为侦探的人的故事，无论是成人还是儿童。
And we'll begin with one of the purest expressions of this desire you could possibly find.
我们将从您可能找到的这种愿望的最纯粹的表达之一开始。
And that is a child's handmade detective notebook.
那是一本孩子手工制作的侦探笔记本。
Andrea DeFotis brought it in.
安德里亚·德福蒂斯（Andrea DeFotis）带来了它。
And one of the things that's interesting about it-- and I think this is probably a typical problem for many armchair, wannabe detectives-- is that it records her desire to gather clues and solve cases.
其中有趣的事情之一——我认为这可能是许多纸上谈兵、想成为侦探的典型问题——是它记录了她收集线索和破案的愿望。
But sadly for her, she was leading a life where there were really not that many cases to be solved.
但对她来说可悲的是，她过着没有那么多案件需要解决的生活。
OK, here's "Mystery Update File, June 6, 1981." How old were you?
好的，这是“神秘更新文件，1981 年 6 月 6 日”。你当时几岁？
11.
11.
Ira Glass You were 11.
艾拉·格拉斯 你当时 11 岁。
OK, "June 6, 1981, 4:33 PM.
好的，“1981 年 6 月 6 日下午 4:33。
No new mysteries.
没有新的谜团。
How depressing." Next entry, "June 7, 1981, 5:34 PM.
多么令人沮丧啊。”下一篇文章“1981 年 6 月 7 日下午 5:34。
No new mysteries.
没有新的谜团。
June 8, 1981, 6:07 PM.
1981 年 6 月 8 日下午 6:07。
No new mysteries." This goes on.
没有新的谜团。”这样的情况还在继续。
But I change the words to make myself feel better.
但我改变了措辞，让自己感觉好一点。
"No new cases."
“没有新病例。”
"No new cases." OK.
“没有新病例。”好的。
The book is divided up into sections with names like Solved, Unsolved, though if you look inside it, you cannot tell the difference.
这本书分为几个部分，名称分别为“已解决”、“未解决”，但如果你仔细看一下里面的内容，你无法分辨出其中的区别。
The things inside Solved and the unsolved stuff, they're exactly the same.
已解决的东西和未解决的东西，是一模一样的。
There's a section on how to secretly code messages.
有一节介绍如何秘密编码消息。
There's the record of a successful case where Andrea found her sister's necklace, a very tough case.
有一个成功的案例记录，安德里亚找到了她姐姐的项链，这是一个非常棘手的案例。
It was on the ground, behind a bureau.
它在地面上，在一个柜子后面。
There are pamphlets on the FBI on subjects like fingerprints, a pamphlet called How You Can Help the FBI Stop Embezzlement and Fraud.
联邦调查局有一些关于指纹等主题的小册子，名为《如何帮助联邦调查局制止贪污和欺诈》的小册子。
There's a vocabulary section, something that many adult detectives really don't spend enough time with, I think.
我认为，有一个词汇部分，许多成年侦探确实没有花足够的时间。
The vocabulary section has tough words and phrases in it like "Treasury Enforcement School."
词汇部分有一些难懂的单词和短语，比如“Treasury Enforcement School”。
Officially, at some point, I had a club with my friend, Tammy.
正式地，在某个时候，我和我的朋友塔米组建了一个俱乐部。
And so this is the Q and A of qualifications for Tammy.
这就是 Tammy 资格的问答。
Qualifications if she could get in the club?
她有资格进入俱乐部吗？
I guess to be sneaky, or to be a detective or part of the FBI club, something like that.
我想是为了偷偷摸摸，或者成为一名侦探或联邦调查局俱乐部的一员，类似的事情。
The first question is "Do you know who Agatha Christie is?" Her answer was, "I have heard of her." Number two, "Do you know who Donald J.
第一个问题是“你知道阿加莎·克里斯蒂是谁吗？”她的回答是：“我听说过她。”第二，“你知道唐纳德·J.
Sobol is?" Answer, "No way."
索博尔是吗？”回答：“不可能。”
I don't either.
我也不。
Andrea Defotis Neither do I.
安德里亚·迪福蒂斯 我也没有。
But I knew in 1981.
但我在 1981 年就知道了。
But I don't know now.
但我现在不知道。
Number three, "Do you think you are sneaky?" Answer is yes.
第三，“你觉得你很狡猾吗？”答案是肯定的。
Why?
为什么？
"Well, I sneak snacks.
“嗯，我偷偷吃零食。
And spying is fun, but I'm too tall for it."
间谍活动很有趣，但我太高了。”
"Do you know what the four types of fingerprints are?
“你知道指纹有哪四种吗？
Do you have a magnifying glass?
你有放大镜吗？
Do you have talcum powder?
你有滑石粉吗？
Do you ever look at wanted posters?
你看过通缉海报吗？
Do you ever read Alfred Hitchcock mysteries?"
你读过阿尔弗雷德·希区柯克悬疑小说吗？”
And then there was scoring.
然后就是得分。
And the tie-breaking question-- I guess she needed it, yeah, because she tied-- "What are the three things you should take on a mystery?"
还有打破平局的问题——我想她需要这个，是的，因为她打平了——“你应该在神秘事件中采取哪三件事？”
What are the three things you should take on a mystery?
神秘事件中你应该采取哪三件事？
Well, of course, Ira, it's a flashlight, a compass, and a magnifying glass.
嗯，当然，艾拉，它是手电筒、指南针和放大镜。
And at age 11, Andrea DeFotis wrote to the FBI and got an application to become a special agent.
11 岁时，安德里亚·德福蒂斯 (Andrea DeFotis) 写信给 FBI，并获得了成为一名特工的申请。
She's still got it in the notebook.
她还把它记在笔记本上。
It's 11 pages long.
它有 11 页长。
It asks if you've ever had an alias.
它询问您是否曾经有过别名。
11-year-old Andrea wrote, "Yes, Peanut," her nickname at the time.
11 岁的安德里亚 (Andrea) 写道：“是的，花生”，这是她当时的昵称。
Employment history for the 11-year-old Andrea-- "None." "Are you interested in the fingerprint examiner position in Washington, DC?" 11-year-old Andrea says, "Yes."
11 岁的 Andrea 的工作经历——“没有”。 “您对华盛顿特区的指纹检查员职位感兴趣吗？” 11 岁的安德里亚说：“是的。”
"Are you willing to proceed to Washington, DC, or any other duty station at your own expense?" 11-year-old Andrea says, "Yes." References-- Anne Fotzikis, turns out to be her godmother.
“您愿意自费前往华盛顿特区或任何其他工作地点吗？” 11 岁的安德里亚说：“是的。”参考文献——安妮·福齐基斯 (Anne Fotzikis) 原来是她的教母。
The application asks, "Number of years acquainted?" Andrea writes, "11."
申请表询问：“认识多少年了？”安德里亚写道：“11。”
I thought that I would be a great FBI agent because I had 20-20 vision.
我认为我会成为一名出色的联邦调查局特工，因为我有 20-20 的视力。
And I read that that was one of the things you needed.
我读到那是你需要的东西之一。
Right.
正确的。
And I don't know if I still have 20-20 vision, but I did.
我不知道我是否还有 20-20 的视力，但我做到了。
But then I read-- I got really depressed.
但后来我读到——我真的很沮丧。
In fact, here it is, quotes from The Story of the Secret Service.
事实上，这就是《特勤局的故事》中的引述。
"A man who wants to join the Secret Service must be between 23 and 30 years old, at least five feet eight, and not over six feet two in height."
“想要加入特勤局的男性必须年龄在 23 岁到 30 岁之间，身高至少 5 英尺 8 英寸，身高不超过 6 英尺 2 英寸。”
Must be a man?
一定是个男人吗？
Andrea Defotis Yeah.
安德里亚·迪福蒂斯 是的。
And then I got upset because I realized I wasn't going to probably be tall enough.
然后我很沮丧，因为我意识到我可能不够高。
But listen to this--
但听听这个——
And you're not a man, not to put too fine a point on it.
而且你也不是个男人，别说得太过分。
What is it about this dream of being a g-man, a detective, a spook, a sleuth, a private eye?
成为一名特工、一名侦探、一名间谍、一名侦探、一名私家侦探的梦想是什么呢？
Fill in your own-- there's so many words for this.
填写你自己的——有很多词可以表达这一点。
It's like Eskimos having so many words for the word snow.
就像爱斯基摩人有很多词来形容雪这个词一样。
Well, today on our program, the dream of being a private eye, and how that dream measures up to reality.
好吧，今天我们的节目是关于成为私家侦探的梦想，以及这个梦想如何实现。
Act One, Wannabes.
第一幕，崇拜者。
Writer David Sedaris tells the story of two armchair detectives in his own family, and how they handle a crime wave that occurs right under their own roof, in their own home.
作家大卫·塞达里斯讲述了他自己家里的两名纸上谈兵侦探的故事，以及他们如何应对发生在自己屋檐下、自己家中的犯罪浪潮。
Act Two, Real World.
第二幕，现实世界。
I go on a stakeout, me, with a real private eye, right here in Chicago, in a location so profoundly sinister that I cannot even disclose it to you on our program.
我以真正的私家侦探的身份，在芝加哥进行了一次监视，地点非常险恶，我什至无法在我们的节目中向你们透露。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
[MUSIC PLAYING - "RAYMOND CHANDLER EVENING" BY ROBYN HITCHCOCK]
[音乐播放 - 罗宾·希区柯克的《雷蒙德·钱德勒之夜》]
Act One, Wannabe.
第一幕，想要的人。
Detectives are just one of those things, like amnesia, or asteroids hitting earth, or talking animals, or seven-year-olds with the wisdom of adults, one of those things that just seems to occur a lot more in the movies then they ever do in real life.
侦探只是其中之一，就像失忆症、小行星撞击地球、会说话的动物、具有成年人智慧的七岁孩子，这些事情在电影中出现的次数似乎比在现实生活中要多得多。
But I suppose so many things fall into that category.
但我想很多事情都属于这一类。
Why detective stories, though?
为什么是侦探小说呢？
Somebody once said-- and I would agree with this-- that every good story is a detective story, meaning every good story in any genre raises some big question at the beginning, some thing that we want to find out.
有人曾经说过——我同意这一点——每一个好故事都是侦探故事，这意味着任何类型的每一个好故事在一开始都会提出一些大问题，一些我们想要找出的东西。
And then the process of the story, the reason why we keep reading or watching is that we just want to know.
然后故事的过程，我们之所以继续读或看，是因为我们只是想知道。
We want to know what is going to happen.
我们想知道会发生什么。
What is the thing?
到底是怎么回事？
We want the answer.
我们想要答案。
Mysteries are just the purest form of this.
神秘只是其中最纯粹的形式。
They offer the satisfaction of this kind of story in the purest possible way.
他们以最纯粹的方式提供这种故事的满足感。
The question couldn't be clearer.
这个问题再清楚不过了。
There's a crime.
有犯罪行为。
Who did it?
谁干的？
And by the end, all is revealed.
到最后，一切都揭晓了。
Light is shed.
光被洒落。
We know the answer.
我们知道答案。
So they're hard to resist.
所以他们很难抗拒。
The problem, of course, is if you see so many detective stories, if you read so many, see so many TV shows, that you start believing that you can actually do what the fictional characters in the shows are able to do.
当然，问题是，如果你看了这么多的侦探故事，如果你读了这么多，看了这么多的电视节目，你就会开始相信你实际上可以做到节目中虚构人物能够做到的事情。
We have this story from writer David Sedaris about his own family.
我们从作家大卫·塞达里斯那里得到了这个关于他自己家庭的故事。
My mother had a thing for detectives, be they old, blind, or paralyzed from the waist down, she just couldn't get enough.
我母亲喜欢侦探，无论他们年老、失明，还是腰部以下瘫痪，她就是无法满足。
My older sister shared her interest.
我姐姐也有同样的兴趣。
Detective worship became something they practiced together, swapping plot lines the way other mothers and daughters exchanged recipes or grooming tips.
侦探崇拜成了她们一起练习的事情，就像其他母女交换食谱或美容秘诀一样交换情节。
One television program would end and the next one begin, filling our house with the constant din of gunfire and squealing tires.
一个电视节目结束，下一个节目开始，我们的房子里充满了持续不断的枪声和轮胎的尖叫声。
Downstairs, the obese detective would collect his breath on the bow of the drug lord's pleasure craft, while up in the kitchen, his elderly colleague hurled himself over a low brick wall in pursuit of the baby-faced serial killer.
在楼下，这位肥胖的侦探会在毒枭的游艇的船头屏住呼吸，而在厨房里，他年长的同事则从一堵矮砖墙上跳下去，追捕娃娃脸的连环杀手。
"How's your case coming?" my mother would shout during commercial breaks.
“你的案子进展如何了？”我妈妈会在广告时段大喊大叫。
Cupping her hands to the side of her mouth, Lisa would yell, "Tubby's still tracking down leads, but I'm betting it's the Chinesey guy with the eye patch and the ponytail."
丽莎将双手放在嘴边，大喊道：“塔比仍在追踪线索，但我敢打赌，一定是那个戴着眼罩、扎着马尾辫的中国人。”
Theirs was a world of obvious suspects.
他们的世界充满了明显的嫌疑人。
Looking for the axe murderer?
寻找斧头凶手？
Try the emotionally disturbed lumberjack loitering near the tool shed behind the victim's house.
试试情绪失常的伐木工在受害者房子后面的工具棚附近闲逛的情况。
Who kidnapped the guidance counselor?
谁绑架了辅导员？
Perhaps it's a 30-year-old 10th grader with a gym bag full of bloody rope.
也许是一名 30 岁的十年级学生，他的健身包里装满了血淋淋的绳子。
It was no wonder these cases were solved so quickly.
难怪这些案件这么快就破案了。
Every clue was italicized with a burst of surging trumpets.
每一条线索都伴随着阵阵澎湃的喇叭声。
And under questioning, the suspects snapped like toothpicks, buckling in less time than it took to soft boil an egg.
在审讯中，嫌疑人像牙签一样折断，折断的时间比煮鸡蛋还要短。
"You want to know who set fire to the skate ranch?
“你想知道是谁放火烧了滑板牧场吗？
All right, it was me.
好吧，是我。
You satisfied now?
现在你满意了吗？
That's right, me.
没错，我。
I did it, me.
我做到了，我。
Give me a pair of skates and a book of matches, and I'll burn this whole town down.
给我一双溜冰鞋和一盒火柴，我就会烧毁整个城镇。
Do you hear me?"
你听到我说话了吗？”
It's easy to solve a case where none of the suspects were capable of telling a decent lie.
如果没有一个嫌疑人能够说出像样的谎言，那么破案就很容易了。
It seemed that anyone could solve a murder, just so long as they had a telephone, a few hours of spare time, and a wet bar.
似乎任何人都可以侦破谋杀案，只要有一部电话、几个小时的空闲时间和一个酒吧。
My mother had all three ingredients.
我母亲拥有这三种成分。
The more suspects she identified over the course of a season, the more confident she became.
在一个赛季中，她发现的嫌疑人越多，她就越有信心。
Together, she and my sister would comb the local newspaper, speculating on each reported crime.
她和我姐姐一起查阅当地报纸，对每起报道的犯罪事件进行推测。
"We know that the girl was held at knifepoint on the second floor of her house," Lisa said, tapping a pencil against her forehead.
“我们知道这个女孩在她家的二楼被刀指着，”丽莎说，用铅笔敲着她的额头。
"So probably, the person who robbed her was not in a wheelchair."
“所以很可能，抢劫她的人并不坐在轮椅上。”
"I'd say that's a pretty safe assumption," my mother answered.
“我想说这是一个相当安全的假设，”我母亲回答道。
"While you're at it, I think we might as well eliminate anyone confined to an iron lung.
“当你这样做时，我认为我们不妨消灭任何被限制在铁肺里的人。
Listen, Sherlock, you're going at it all wrong.
听着，夏洛克，你完全错了。
The guy broke in, held her at knifepoint, and made off with $300 in cash, right?" "And a clock radio," Lisa said.
那家伙破门而入，用刀指着她，然后抢走了 300 美元现金，对吗？” “还有一个时钟收音机，”丽莎说。
"$300 and a clock radio."
“300 美元和一台时钟收音机。”
"Forget the clock radio," my mother said.
“忘掉时钟收音机吧，”我妈妈说。
"The important thing is that he used a knife.
“重要的是他使用了一把刀。
All right now, what kind of a person uses a knife?" Lisa guessed that it might have been a chef.
那么，什么样的人会用刀呢？”丽莎猜测这可能是一位厨师。
"Maybe she was at a restaurant, and the cook noticed she had a lot of money in her pocketbook."
“也许她在一家餐馆，厨师注意到她的钱包里有很多钱。”
"Right," my mother said, "because that's what cooks do, isn't it?
“对啊，”我妈妈说，“因为厨师就是这么做的，不是吗？
They crawl around the dining room floor, looking through purses, while the food sits in the kitchen, cooking itself.
他们在餐厅的地板上爬来爬去，翻看钱包，而食物则放在厨房里，自行烹饪。
Come on now, think.
现在来吧，想一想。
Who uses a knife to commit a crime?
谁用刀犯罪？
In a world of guns, what kind of person would use a knife?
在枪的世界里，什么样的人会用刀？
Give up?
放弃？
It's just two little words, drug addict.
就两个字，吸毒者。
It's just that simple.
就是这么简单。
A professional thief would use a gun.
职业小偷会使用枪。
But even a second-hand gun costs money.
但即使是二手枪也要花钱。
A drug addict can't afford a gun.
吸毒者买不起枪。
They need all their money for their dope and smack, the hard stuff.
他们需要所有的钱来购买毒品和毒品，这些硬东西。
These dopers have a habit to feed every minute of every day, which means they're always on the lookout for their next mark.
这些服用兴奋剂的人有每天每时每刻都在进食的习惯，这意味着他们总是在寻找下一个目标。
This was a heroin addict who followed the girl home from the bank, parked his car around the corner, broke into the house, and robbed her at knifepoint."
这是一名海洛因瘾君子，他从银行跟踪女孩回家，将车停在拐角处，闯入房屋，用刀胁迫她抢劫。”
"If he can't afford a gun, what's he doing with a car?" Lisa asked, "And what about the clock radio?" "Screw the damn clock radio," my mother said.
“如果他买不起枪，那他要车做什么呢？”丽莎问道：“那么时钟收音机呢？” “去他妈的该死的时钟收音机，”我母亲说。
"And as for the car, it was stolen.
“至于汽车，它是被偷的。
He took it last Thursday from that couple on Pamlico.
上周四，他从帕姆利科岛上的那对夫妇那里得到了它。
You saw the report in the paper, the brand new Ford Mustang, remember?
你看到报纸上的报道了，全新的福特野马，还记得吗？
You thought it'd been stolen by gypsies.
你以为它被吉普赛人偷走了。
And I said we don't even have gypsies in this part of the country.
我说我们这个地区甚至没有吉普赛人。
I said the car had been taken by a dope addict who'd use it for a couple of burglaries before selling it to a chop shop.
我说这辆车被一个吸毒者拿走了，他用它进行了几次入室盗窃，然后把它卖给了一家排骨店。
Bingo, there you have it."
宾果，给你了。”
She crushed her cigarette and used the butt to trawl an X through the residue at the bottom of her blackened ashtray, her way of pronouncing that this particular case was closed.
她压碎了香烟，用烟蒂在黑色烟灰缸底部的残留物上画了一个“X”，这是她宣布这个特殊案件已经结案的方式。
"What's next on our roster?"
“我们名单上的下一个是什么？”
Vandalism at 318 Poole Road, breaking and entering at the Five Points Pharmacy, a hit and run traffic accident in the parking lot of Swain Steakhouse.
普尔路 318 号的破坏行为、五点药房的闯入事件、Swain Steakhouse 停车场的肇事逃逸交通事故。
It was always the work of a drug addict or a former police officer, a renegade, a rogue.
这总是吸毒者或前警察、叛徒、流氓的作品。
To hear my mother talk, you'd think the sunny, manicured streets of suburban Raleigh were crawling with heroin addicts, the needles poking through the sleeves of their tattered police uniforms.
听我母亲说话，你可能会认为罗利郊区阳光明媚、修剪整齐的街道上挤满了海洛因成瘾者，针头从他们破烂的警察制服的袖子里戳出来。
It embarrassed me to hear her use phrases like "copping a fix" and "pusherman." "I have to go now," she'd say to the grocery clerk.
听到她使用“解决问题”和“推动者”等短语，我感到很尴尬。 “我现在得走了，”她对杂货店店员说。
"My mother-in-law's back at the house, jonesing for her lunch." "I beg your pardon?" they'd say, "Come again?" Only on network television did people talk this way.
“我婆婆回来了，正在准备吃午饭。” “请再说一遍？”他们会说：“再来一次？”只有在网络电视上，人们才这样说话。
"I call the TV," they'd say.
“我给电视打电话，”他们会说。
It didn't matter what you were watching when my mother or sister laid claim to one of the televisions.
当我的母亲或姐姐占有其中一台电视机时，无论你在看什么，都没关系。
You surrendered it the same way cars gave up the road at the sight of an advancing ambulance.
你放弃了它，就像汽车看到救护车前进时放弃道路一样。
I couldn't bear the detective shows but made it a point to regularly check in with The Fugitive.
我无法忍受侦探节目，但还是定期观看《逃亡者》。
This was the story of Dr. Richard Kimble, a man on the run.
这是理查德·金布尔博士的故事，他是一名逃亡者。
Falsely accused of a crime he did not commit, we were told in the opening credits that "he changed his name and his identity." The notion of identity was illustrated by a can of shoe polish sitting on what appeared to be the scuffed surface of a motel dresser.
被错误地指控他没有犯下的罪行，我们在片头字幕中被告知“他改变了自己的名字和身份”。身份的概念通过放在汽车旅馆梳妆台磨损表面上的一罐鞋油来说明。
This had me stumped for months.
这让我困惑了好几个月。
"What?" I asked.
“什么？”我问。
"Would nobody recognize him with freshly shined shoes?
“穿着刚擦得锃亮的鞋子，没人会认出他吗？
Did he use it to blacken his face?
他用它来黑脸吗？
I don't get it." "His hair, stupid," my sister Lisa said.
我不明白。” “他的头发，愚蠢，”我姐姐丽莎说。
"He used it to dye his hair."
“他用它来染头发。”
Lisa liked The Fugitive because, she said, "He's easy on the eyes." The way she saw it, Dr. Kimble needed only two things, a one-armed suspect and the love of a good woman.
丽莎喜欢《逃亡者》，她说，因为“他很赏心悦目。”在她看来，金布尔博士只需要两件事，一个独臂嫌疑犯和一个好女人的爱。
She failed to understand that despite his brooding good looks, a man of his nature could never be happy.
她不明白，尽管他有着忧郁的英俊外表，但像他这样的人永远不可能幸福。
Unlike her nightly lineup of swinging gumshoes, the Fugitive had both a soul and a memory, and would remain a haunted man long after his wife's true killer had been brought to justice.
与她每晚摇摆不定的刑警阵容不同，逃亡者既有灵魂又有记忆，在杀害妻子的真正凶手被绳之以法很久之后，他仍将是一个闹鬼的人。
Most programs discouraged you from concentrating on the hero's dark inner workings.
大多数节目都会阻止你关注英雄黑暗的内心运作。
If the girlfriend was gunned down at her makeup table, you knew there'd be another one next week to replace her, no questions asked.
如果女朋友在化妆桌上被枪杀，你就知道下周就会有另一个人来代替她，毫无疑问。
The Fugitive had no fancy convertible or stylish wet bar.
逃亡者没有华丽的敞篷车或时尚的吧台。
He was cut from a different cloth, my kind of cloth, the itchy kind.
他是用不同的布剪下来的，我的那种布，发痒的那种。
Lisa wouldn't know a sensitive loner if he crawled into her lap with a fistful of daisies.
如果丽莎抱着一把雏菊爬到她的腿上，她就不会认识一个敏感的孤独者。
And it annoyed me when she labeled The Fugitive as "my kind of show."
当她将《逃亡者》标记为“我喜欢的节目”时，我很恼火。
It was one thing to sit in front of the television, second-guessing a third-rate detective program, but quite another to solve a real case.
坐在电视机前对三流侦探节目进行事后猜测是一回事，但解决一个真实的案件却是另一回事。
We were well into our summer reruns when our household was shaken by a series of very real crimes no TV detective could ever hope to crack.
当我们的夏季重播即将开始时，我们的家庭被一系列非常真实的犯罪事件所震撼，电视侦探根本无法破解。
Someone in our family had taken to wiping their ass on the bath towels.
我们家里有人开始用浴巾擦屁股。
What made this exceptionally disturbing was that all of our towels were fudge-colored.
令人特别不安的是我们所有的毛巾都是软糖色的。
You'd be drying your hair when too late, you'd notice an unmistakable odor on your hands, head, and face.
当你吹干头发时已经太晚了，你会注意到你的手、头和脸上有明显的气味。
If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that one might go from day to day without finding stool samples in their hair.
如果不出意外的话，郊区的生活可能会让人们日复一日地在头发中找不到粪便样本。
This sudden turn of events tested our resolve to the core, leaving us to wonder who we were and where we, as a people, had gone wrong.
这突如其来的事态转变从根本上考验了我们的决心，让我们想知道我们是谁，作为一个民族，我们在哪里出了问题。
Soul searching aside, it also called for plenty of hot water, gallons of shampoo, steel wool, industrial scrub brushes, and blocks of harsh, deodorizing soap.
除了自我反省之外，还需要大量的热水、几加仑的洗发水、钢丝绒、工业用刷子和刺激性的除臭肥皂块。
The criminal hit all three bathrooms, pausing just long enough to convince the rest of us that it was finally safe to let our guard down.
犯罪分子袭击了所有三间浴室，停顿了足够长的时间，让我们其他人相信终于可以安全地放松警惕了。
I might spend 20 minutes carefully sniffing the towel, only to discover that this time, they'd used to washcloth.
我可能会花20分钟仔细地闻毛巾，结果发现这一次，他们用的是毛巾。
"Well," my mother said, thumbing through the newspaper one Sunday morning, "the person doing this is one sick individual.
“好吧，”我母亲在一个周日的早上翻阅报纸说道，“做这件事的人是一个病人。
That much we know for certain." "And they eat corn," Lisa said, patting her head with a T-shirt.
我们确信这一点。” “他们吃玉米，”丽莎一边说，一边用一件 T 恤拍拍自己的头。
The most recent victim, she had washed her hair so many times it now resembled the wiry, synthetic mane of a troll doll.
作为最近的受害者，她洗了很多次头发，现在头发就像巨魔娃娃的人造鬃毛。
Everyone had their theories, but no one had any hard evidence.
每个人都有自己的理论，但没有人有确凿的证据。
Discounting my parents, that still left six children and my grandmother, all possible suspects.
除去我的父母，仍然剩下六个孩子和我的祖母，所有可能的嫌疑人。
I eliminated myself.
我淘汰了我自己。
And because the towels were carefully folded, I excused my brother, who, to this day, cannot manage such a complex activity.
由于毛巾被仔细地折叠起来，我原谅了我的兄弟，他至今仍无法完成如此复杂的活动。
It must smart to use a towel for such a delicate purpose.
使用毛巾来达到如此微妙的目的一定很聪明。
And I watched as my family took their seats at the table, waiting for someone to cry out or flinch.
我看着我的家人坐在桌旁，等待有人哭泣或退缩。
But nothing came of it.
但没有任何结果。
My mother and sister had always thought themselves so wily and smart.
我的母亲和姐姐一直认为自己很狡猾、很聪明。
But when pressed for a suspect, they said only that this case was beneath them.
但当被问及嫌疑人时，他们只说这起案件不属于他们的范围。
If someone were to be murdered or kidnapped, they'd rise to the occasion and finger the guilty party within an hour.
如果有人被谋杀或绑架，他们会在一个小时内挺身而出并找出有罪者。
This particular case, however, fell under the category of aggravated mischief, and was therefore unworthy of their professional attention.
然而，这个特殊案件属于严重恶作剧的范畴，因此不值得他们的专业关注。
Whoever it was would listen to their conscience and confess sooner or later.
不管是谁，迟早都会听从自己的良心，认罪的。
And in the meantime, my mother would stock the linen closet with white towels.
与此同时，我母亲会在亚麻壁橱里塞满白毛巾。
Case closed.
案件结案。
Later that month, someone went through my father's top drawer, stealing a knee sock packed with 112 liberty silver dollars.
那个月晚些时候，有人翻遍了我父亲最上面的抽屉，偷走了一只装满 112 枚自由银元的及膝袜。
I knew my father's drawers as well as I knew my own.
我了解我父亲的抽屉就像了解我自己的一样。
Everyone did.
每个人都这么做了。
That was how you occupied your time when you had the house to yourself.
当你独享房子时，你就是这样打发时间的。
You rifled through my father's drawers before moving on to his second hiding place in the shed.
你翻遍了我父亲的抽屉，然后前往他在棚屋里的第二个藏身之处。
I had seen and counted these coins many times.
我曾多次看过并数过这些硬币。
We all had.
我们都有过。
But who would go so far as to steal them?
但谁会去偷它们呢？
My father gathered us together in the dining room and listened as we each took turns denying any involvement.
我父亲把我们聚集在餐厅里，听我们轮流否认与此事有任何关系。
"Dollars come in silver?
“美元是白银的？
I never knew that.
我从来不知道这一点。
Does the government issue them in a knee sock, or was that your idea?"
是政府把它们装在及膝袜里发放的，还是你的主意？”
"OK," my father said.
“好吧，”我父亲说。
"all right.
“好吧。
I understand now.
我现在明白了。
Nobody took my coins.
没有人拿走我的硬币。
I guess they just got tired of living cooped up in that dresser and decided to roll out the door and spend themselves on candy and magazines.
我猜他们只是厌倦了被关在梳妆台里的生活，决定滚出家门，把自己花在糖果和杂志上。
That's what happened, isn't it?
这就是发生的事情，不是吗？
Oh, they're probably out there as we speak, having themselves a grand old time, aren't they?"
哦，我们说话的时候他们可能就在那里，正在享受一段美好的时光，不是吗？”
His voice visited its highest register, and he rubbed his hands together as if he were considering a tray of rich desserts.
他的声音达到了最高音，他搓着手，仿佛正在考虑一盘丰盛的甜点。
"Free at last.
“终于自由了。
Free at last, with their whole lives ahead of them.
终于自由了，他们的一生就在前方。
Can't you just feel the excitement?
难道你就不能感受一下兴奋吗？
Doesn't it make you just want to throw up your hands and scream?"
这难道不会让你想举起双手尖叫吗？”
He lowered his voice to deliver a series of ultimatums I didn't quite catch.
他压低声音发出了一系列我没听清的最后通牒。
My mind was snagged on the thought of those jubilant silver dollars, raucous and dizzy with their first feelings of independence.
我的思绪被那些欢欣鼓舞的银元所吸引，它们因第一次独立的感觉而喧闹而眩晕。
I pictured them splitting into groups and traveling by night to avoid any excess attention.
我想象他们分成几组，在夜间行进，以避免引起过多的关注。
It might prove difficult to roll over grass and leaves, so I imagined them huddled in the carport, deciding it best to stick to the roads and sidewalks.
在草地和树叶上打滚可能很困难，所以我想象他们挤在车库里，决定最好坚持走在道路和人行道上。
The thought of it made me laugh.
一想到这个我就笑了。
And when I did, my father said, "You think this is funny?
当我这么做的时候，我父亲说：“你觉得这很有趣吗？
You're getting a chuckle out of this, are you?
听到这里你会觉得好笑，是吗？
I'm glad you find it so amusing.
我很高兴你觉得这很有趣。
Let's see how funny it is when I search your room, funny guy."
让我们看看我搜查你的房间时有多好笑，有趣的家伙。”
On television, a search warrant guaranteed that your home would be trashed.
在电视上，搜查令保证你的家将被毁掉。
And this was no different.
这也不例外。
Mine was the only clean room in the entire house.
我的房间是整个房子里唯一干净的房间。
This was my shrine, my temple, and I watched in horror as my drawers were emptied and my closets brutally divorced of order.
这是我的神殿，我的寺庙，我惊恐地看着我的抽屉被空了，我的壁橱被残酷地破坏了秩序。
While searching my desk, he came across a gold-plated mechanical pencil my father recognized as his own.
在搜查我的桌子时，他发现了一支镀金自动铅笔，我父亲认出这是他自己的。
It had once occupied the same drawer as his coins.
它曾经和他的硬币放在同一个抽屉里。
And I admitted that, yes, I had taken the pencil.
我承认，是的，我拿走了铅笔。
But I hadn't really stolen it.
但我并没有真正偷它。
There was a big difference between the two.
两者之间存在很大差异。
You steal things that you covet, while you take things the original owner is incapable of appreciating.
你偷了你觊觎的东西，而你却拿走了原主人无法欣赏的东西。
The pencil had spoken to me of its neglect, and I 'd offered to put it to good use.
铅笔向我讲述了它的疏忽，我提出好好利用它。
Taking is just borrowing without the formality.
拿走只是借用，没有手续。
I'd planned on returning it once it ran out of lead.
我本来打算在铅用完后将其归还。
What was the big deal?
有什么大不了的？
The moment my father and his pencil were reunited, I became the prime suspect, tried and convicted on circumstantial evidence.
当我父亲和他的铅笔重聚的那一刻，我就成了头号嫌疑人，根据间接证据受到审判并被定罪。
There was nothing I could say to change his mind.
我无话可说来改变他的想法。
Falsely convicted of a crime I didn't commit, there was only one thing I could do.
被误判了一项我没有犯下的罪行，我只能做一件事。
The shoe polish was kept in the linen closet.
鞋油存放在亚麻壁橱里。
I chose black.
我选择了黑色。
The Fugitive's hair always looked perfectly natural.
逃亡者的头发看起来总是那么自然。
It blew in the breeze created by oncoming trucks as he stood beside the lonesome road, bidding farewell to a town unable to appreciate his unique gifts.
当他站在孤独的路边，告别了一个无法欣赏他独特天赋的小镇时，迎面而来的卡车带来的微风吹过。
My natural hair looked pretty much the same way.
我的自然头发看起来几乎一样。
But once the polish dried, my hair hardened into a stiff, unified mass that covered my head like a helmet.
但一旦指甲油干了，我的头发就硬化成一团僵硬、统一的东西，像头盔一样覆盖着我的头。
I went to bed and found my sheets and pillow smudged and ruined.
我上床睡觉，发现我的床单和枕头都被弄脏了，而且被毁了。
My face and arms were bruised-looking, and everything stank with the rigid, military odor of a buffing rag.
我的脸和手臂看起来都瘀青了，所有的东西都散发着抛光抹布的僵硬的军用气味。
It was no wonder the Fugitive was a loner.
难怪逃亡者是一个孤独的人。
I liked the sheen and color of my new hair, but found I needed to slick it back in order to maintain a clean forehead.
我喜欢新头发的光泽和颜色，但发现我需要把它向后梳，以保持额头干净。
This hair of mine was bulletproof.
我的这头发是防弹的。
Perhaps that's what the Fugitive saw in it.
也许这就是逃亡者所看到的。
You could've pounded my head with a golf club, and I wouldn't have felt a thing.
你可能用高尔夫球杆敲打我的头，但我却毫无感觉。
I carried my soiled sheets into the woods, knowing that from here on out, things were going to be different.
我拿着脏床单走进树林，知道从现在开始，事情将会有所不同。
I had crossed over the edge, and there was no turning back.
我已经跨过了界限，没有回头路了。
Having changed my identity, my next step was to find the real thief and clear my name.
改变身份后，我的下一步就是找到真正的小偷并洗清自己的罪名。
My mother and sister were fond of saying, "The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime." This was a bit of dime store wisdom picked up from one of their television programs, but I thought it might be worth a try.
我的母亲和姐姐总爱说：“罪犯总是会回到犯罪现场。”这是从他们的一个电视节目中学到的一点小知识，但我认为这可能值得一试。
It was certainly true of whoever was wiping their ass on the towels.
对于用毛巾擦屁股的人来说确实如此。
But then again, they had no choice.
但话又说回来，他们别无选择。
The bathroom was where we kept our toilet.
浴室是我们放置厕所的地方。
And even if the criminal had changed their ways, they'd still need to use the john.
即使罪犯改变了他们的方式，他们仍然需要使用厕所。
Aside from the silver dollars, my father's drawers were home to several pocket watches, a pair of cuff links shaped like dice, tie clips, fine cigarette lighters, and a deck of playing cards picturing an assortment of confident women wearing nothing but tool belts.
除了银元之外，我父亲的抽屉里还放着几块怀表、一对骰子形状的袖扣、领带夹、精致的打火机，以及一副扑克牌，上面画着一群自信的女人，除了工具腰带外什么也没穿。
Figuring the thief had good reason to return for more, I undertook a stakeout.
我认为小偷有充分的理由回来索取更多东西，于是我进行了监视。
My father's closet had shuttered, louvred doors which afforded a view of the entire room.
我父亲的衣柜关着百叶窗门，可以看到整个房间。
I took my place, waiting a full hour before my mother entered the room, shouting, "I don't give a tinker's damn what they do on Mount Olympus.
我在自己的位置上等了整整一个小时，母亲才走进房间，大声喊道：“我根本不在乎他们在奥林匹斯山上做什么。
In this house, you don't boil a $7 steak." My intuition told me that she was talking to my grandmother.
在这个房子里，你不会煮 7 美元的牛排。”我的直觉告诉我她正在和我的祖母说话。
Slamming the door behind her, she took a seat on the edge of the unmade bed.
她关上门，在凌乱的床边坐下。
She stared down at her bare feet and then, as if she expected them to apologize for some trouble they'd recently caused, said, "Well, what have you got to say for yourselves?"
她低头盯着自己的光脚，然后，仿佛希望他们为最近造成的一些麻烦道歉，说道：“好吧，你们有什么要说的吗？”
She picked at her toenail for a moment before crossing the room to fetch a bottle of glossy polish from the top of the dresser.
她抠了一会儿脚趾甲，然后穿过房间，从梳妆台上取了一瓶光亮的指甲油。
This was a new shade, the color of putty.
这是一种新的色调，油灰的颜色。
Rather than highlighting the nails, it caused them to disappear into the surrounding flesh, creating a look both freakish and popular.
它没有突出指甲，而是让它们消失在周围的肉中，创造出一种既怪异又流行的外观。
I'd never understood why anyone bothered painting their toenails, especially my mother, whose crusty, misshapen talons resembled the shattered, nugget-sized Fritos found huddled in the bottom of a bag.
我从来不明白为什么有人费心去涂脚趾甲，尤其是我的母亲，她那坚硬、畸形的爪子就像是在袋子底部发现的破碎的、金块大小的炸薯条。
She stood before the mirror, shaking the bottle and frowning at the sight of her brittle, frosted hair, arranged into a listless style she referred to as "the devil's stomping grounds." I watched then as she rummaged through her closet, returning with a tall, plastic box secured with the sort of latches you might find on a suitcase.
她站在镜子前，摇晃着瓶子，皱着眉头看着自己脆弱的磨砂头发，她把头发整理成无精打采的样子，她称之为“魔鬼的踩踏地”。然后我看着她翻遍衣柜，回来时带着一个高高的塑料盒子，盒子上有你可能在手提箱上找到的那种插销。
I'd been through my father's closet thousands of times, but never my mother's.
我已经去过我父亲的衣柜数千次了，但从来没有去过我母亲的。
"If I have something of value, this is the last place I'd put it," she'd say.
“如果我有什么有价值的东西，这是我最后放的地方，”她说。
"The goddamn moths don't even want what I've got." My father's closets offered clues to his inner life.
“该死的飞蛾根本不想要我拥有的东西。”我父亲的衣柜为了解他的内心生活提供了线索。
I enjoyed uncovering what I thought to be his secrets, but felt it best to honor my mother's privacy, not out of respect so much as fear.
我很高兴揭露我认为是他的秘密，但我觉得最好尊重我母亲的隐私，与其说是出于尊重，不如说是出于恐惧。
I didn't want any possible handcuffs or hooded leather mask interfering with the notion that this woman was first and foremost my mother.
我不想让任何可能的手铐或连帽皮革面具干扰这个女人首先是我母亲的观念。
She carried the box to her dresser and unfastened the latches, lifting the lid to reveal a pale Styrofoam head supporting a sandy blonde wig, the hair sculpted into a series of cresting waves.
她把盒子拿到梳妆台前，打开门闩，掀开盖子，露出一个苍白的聚苯乙烯泡沫头，上面支撑着一顶沙金色假发，头发被雕刻成一系列波峰。
This was a magnificent crown of hair, so perfect it might have been styled by God himself on one of those off days he was feeling creative, rather than vengeful.
这是一顶华丽的发冠，如此完美，仿佛是上帝亲自在某个休息日设计的，他感到富有创造力，而不是复仇。
After carefully removing the pins, my mother placed the wig upon her head and studied herself in the mirror.
小心翼翼地取下别针后，母亲把假发戴在头上，对着镜子打量自己。
She nodded her head this way and that, but the curls, defying all laws of nature, held their position.
她左右点头，但卷发却无视一切自然法则，保持着原来的位置。
I knew the feeling, except that my rigid hairstyle was by this time basically cemented to my scalp.
我知道这种感觉，只是我僵硬的发型此时基本上已经粘在了我的头皮上。
Fumes from the shoe polish were making me nauseous, and I had begun to perspire, the inky sweat running down my forehead and staining my shirt.
鞋油的气味让我感到恶心，我开始出汗，漆黑的汗水顺着我的额头流下来，弄脏了我的衬衫。
"What do you say to that, missy?" my mother asked herself.
“小姐，你对此有何看法？”我母亲问自己。
She applied a coat of lipstick and brought her face close to the mirror, cocking her had and arching her eyebrows in a series of expressions that conveyed everything from heartfelt concern to full-throttle rage.
她涂了一层口红，把脸靠近镜子，翘起眉毛，用一系列的表情表达了从发自内心的关心到全力以赴的愤怒。
Then she stepped away from the mirror, re-introducing herself slowly, as if her reflection were a guest she were meeting for the first time.
然后她离开镜子，慢慢地重新介绍自己，仿佛她的倒影是她第一次见到的客人。
"What do you say we paint those toenails?" she asked.
“你说我们画脚趾甲怎么样？”她问道。
"Now?" she answered.
“现在？”她回答道。
"Sure," she said.
“当然，”她说。
"Have a seat.
“坐吧。
It won't take but a minute.
不需要一分钟。
What's you're hurry?
你着什么急？
Sit down, for christ's sake.
看在上帝的份上，坐下吧。
They can get along without you for half an hour.
他们可以在没有你的情况下相处半个小时。
Sit."
坐吧。”
My mother sat and opened the jar of polish.
我母亲坐下来打开抛光罐。
"This is a new shade we call strained chicken," she said.
“这是一种新的颜色，我们称之为应变鸡，”她说。
"All the girls are just crazy about it." I watched as she parted her toes and set to work, pausing every now and then to regard herself in the mirror.
“所有的女孩都为之疯狂。”我看着她分开脚趾开始工作，时不时地停下来看看镜子里的自己。
"Pretty, isn't it?" she said.
“很漂亮，不是吗？”她说。
"You'll probably want to wear it with a sandal.
“您可能会想将它与凉鞋一起穿着。
That's what I'd do, a sandal or an open-toed boot, whatever feels right for you.
这就是我会做的，凉鞋或露趾靴子，只要你觉得合适就行。
This is a good color for those quiet times when your weekend guests have finally passed out, and you've got the pup tent all to yourself.
对于那些安静的时刻来说，这是一个很好的颜色，当你的周末客人终于昏倒时，你就拥有了一个属于你自己的小狗帐篷。
I'm assuming from the shape of these feet that you do a lot of hiking, am I right?
从这些脚的形状我推测您经常徒步旅行，对吗？
No?
没有？
My mistake.
我的错误。
Ever walk over hot coals to earn yourself a little extra pocket money?
你曾经走过热煤来为自己赚点额外的零花钱吗？
I thought so.
我也是这么想的。
Well, you just sit back and relax.
好吧，你只需坐下来放松一下。
I'm not here to judge."
我不是来评判的。”
She finished her right foot and held it out for inspection.
她完成了右脚并伸出来检查。
"The good thing about this color is that it's forgiving.
“这种颜色的好处是它很宽容。
A little on the nail, a little on the toe, a little on the carpet, and everybody's happy."
指甲上一点，脚趾上一点，地毯上一点，每个人都很高兴。”
When the left foot was finished, she tossed the polish onto her dresser and fashioned a mound out of pillows, something so high that she could lie on her back without crushing her wig.
左脚完成后，她把指甲油扔到梳妆台上，并用枕头堆了一个堆，堆得足够高，这样她就可以仰面躺着而不会压坏假发。
It looked uncomfortable, but she seemed used to it.
虽然看起来很不舒服，但她似乎已经习惯了。
Spreading out her arms and legs, she closed her eyes and reclined as best she could.
她张开双臂和双腿，闭上眼睛，尽可能地向后倾斜。
The unmade bed, the clothing and empty cigarette packets littering the floor, the room resembled a crime scene.
床铺没有整理好，衣服和空烟盒散落在地板上，房间就像一个犯罪现场。
Televised stake outs tend to condense the hours of monotonous waiting into a single moment of truth.
电视转播的监视往往会将单调的等待时间浓缩为一个关键时刻。
The detective arrives just in time to overhear the ransom instructions or watch the jewel thief study blueprints to the bank.
侦探及时赶到，无意中听到了赎金指示，或者看到珠宝窃贼研究了银行的蓝图。
I stood for an hour with a headful of shoe polish, a fugitive, watching my chatty, harried nail stylist of a mother asleep in her wig.
我满头鞋油站了一个小时，像一个逃亡者，看着我那喋喋不休、忙碌的美甲师，一位戴着假发睡着的母亲。
I waited and waited for something to reveal itself.
我等啊等，等待着什么事情显露出来。
After she'd and left the room, I crept downstairs and washed my hair three times, taking care to rinse the tub with Comet and destroy my soiled shirt.
她离开房间后，我蹑手蹑脚地下楼，洗了三遍头发，小心地用彗星冲洗浴缸，并毁掉了我弄脏的衬衫。
At the sound of my father's footsteps coming through the front door, I darted into my bedroom, slapping my face and examining the glow on the darkened window.
听到父亲的脚步声从前门进来，我冲进卧室，拍着脸，检查黑暗窗户上的光芒。
I wanted to be apple-cheeked, fresh and innocent when he rounded up the usual suspects, gathering us together in the dining room to solve the most troubling mystery of all.
当他围捕通常的嫌疑人，将我们聚集在餐厅以解决最令人不安的谜团时，我想表现得脸颊红润，新鲜而天真。
Who smeared his shirts and jackets with shoe polish?
谁把他的衬衫和夹克弄脏了鞋油？
I take my seat beside the same people who had stolen the coins and wiped themselves on the towels and say, "Did you say nail polish or shoe polish?
我坐在那些偷了硬币并用毛巾擦拭自己的人旁边，说道：“你说的是指甲油还是鞋油？
On your suits?
在你的西装上吗？
Today?
今天？
No, sorry.
不，抱歉。
I wouldn't know anything about that."
我对此一无所知。”
David Sedaris.
大卫·塞达里斯。
That story, "True Detective," is in his book, Naked.
这个故事“真正的侦探”出现在他的书《裸体》中。
His latest book is Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.
他的最新著作是《用灯芯绒和牛仔布装扮你的家人》。
[MUSIC PLAYING - "PUSHERMAN" BY CURTIS MAYFIELD]
[音乐播放 - 柯蒂斯·梅菲尔德的《PUSHERMAN》]
Coming up, speeding through a car chase, sitting through surveillance, that all happens during two days I spent with a real private eye.
出现，加速通过汽车追逐，坐在监视中，这一切都发生在我与真正的私家侦探一起度过的两天内。
That's in a minute from Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week, of course, we choose a theme, bring you a variety of different stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们都会选择一个主题，为您带来有关该主题的各种不同的故事。
Today's program, Detectives, wannabe detectives, real detectives, and the difference between the two.
今天的节目，侦探，想成为侦探的人，真正的侦探，以及两者之间的区别。
Act Two, The Real World.
第二幕，现实世界。
You know, a reporters isn't supposed to go out on a story with big, preconceived ideas.
你知道，记者不应该带着宏大的、先入为主的想法去报道新闻。
And so I'm just going to admit up front that when I had the chance to go out with a real life private eye, this is what I expected.
所以我首先要承认，当我有机会与现实生活中的私家侦探一起出去时，这就是我所期望的。
I expected that contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, real detective work was going to turn out to be mundane, dull, long hours, not terribly glamorous.
我原以为，与你在电视和电影中看到的相反，真正的侦探工作将会是平凡、沉闷、长时间的，而不是非常迷人的。
And in fact, the first day I spent with detective Jonathan Rosenberg of Tower Investigations here in Chicago, I was not disappointed.
事实上，在我与芝加哥塔楼调查公司的侦探乔纳森·罗森伯格一起度过的第一天，我并没有感到失望。
When I arrived at his office, he was statementizing.
当我到达他的办公室时，他正在发表声明。
That was the word he used, statementizing, meaning typing up statements from witnesses he'd interviewed.
这是他用的词，陈述，意思是打印他采访过的证人的陈述。
Example.
例子。
"OK.
“好的。
So the Mazda, the black Mazda had a green light?" That was the investigator.
那么马自达，黑色的马自达有绿灯吗？”那是调查员。
The witness answered, "A green light, correct." Investigator, "Do you know how fast the fire engine was traveling?" Witness, "Oh god, I have no idea, but it was 40 miles or maybe more." Investigator, "OK.
目击者回答：“绿灯，正确。”调查员：“你知道消防车开得多快吗？”目击者：“天哪，我不知道，但有 40 英里，甚至更长。”调查员：“好的。
Do you know how fast the black vehicle was traveling?"
你知道那辆黑色汽车行驶的速度有多快吗？”
Not exactly The Rockford Files.
不完全是《罗克福德档案》。
Later, we drove out to an accident scene, where Jonathan took pictures and looked for witnesses, but didn't find anybody useful, which was unsurprising, really, because the accident had happened six weeks before.
后来，我们开车去了一个事故现场，乔纳森在那里拍了照片并寻找目击者，但没有找到任何有用的人，这并不奇怪，真的，因为事故发生在六周前。
Also, Jonathan went to the federal courthouse to run background checks on the computers there.
此外，乔纳森还前往联邦法院对那里的计算机进行背景调查。
Jonathan says he wasn't one of those kids who read detective books and stories about g-men and dreamed of being a private eye.
乔纳森说，他不是那种读侦探小说和男警故事并梦想成为私家侦探的孩子。
I find generally, those people, one, they're totally disappointed what the profession really entails.
我发现一般来说，这些人，一，他们对这个职业的真正含义感到非常失望。
It's a lot more work.
还有很多工作要做。
It's a lot less exciting as it's portrayed.
它并不像所描绘的那样令人兴奋。
In fact, Jonathan got into detective work by accident.
事实上，乔纳森进入侦探工作纯属偶然。
His father was a lawyer.
他的父亲是一名律师。
And from the time Jonathan was 19, he'd go out for his dad, take pictures to use as evidence, track people down so they could be served legal papers.
从乔纳森 19 岁起，他就出去寻找他的父亲，拍照作为证据，追踪人们，以便向他们提供法律文件。
And from there, it wasn't much of a leap to a real job as a detective.
从那时起，成为一名真正的侦探并没有太大的飞跃。
Now he's 29, dressed for work in a black T-shirt and jeans, his hair starting to thin, but just long enough to be pulled into a little ponytail.
现在他 29 岁了，穿着黑色 T 恤和牛仔裤上班，头发开始稀疏，但长度刚好可以扎成一个小马尾辫。
A steady supply of Newport Lights and Diet Cherry Cokes gets him through the day.
稳定供应的纽波特啤酒和健怡樱桃可乐让他度过这一天。
And unlike the hard-boiled detectives that you see in the movies, Jonathan Rosenberg is strikingly uncynical.
与你在电影中看到的冷酷侦探不同，乔纳森·罗森伯格非常愤世嫉俗。
The main impression that you get when you meet him is a decent, level-headed guy, someone who'll talk straight with you, treat you fairly.
当你见到他时，你给你的主要印象是一个正派、头脑冷静的人，一个会直接与你交谈、公平对待你的人。
It's an impression that comes in handy in his line of work.
这种印象在他的工作中派上了用场。
Day two.
第二天。
The first thing you have to do before you go on surveillance, Jonathan tells me, is fill up the gas tank.
乔纳森告诉我，在进行监视之前，你要做的第一件事就是给油箱加满油。
You don't know how far you're going to have to drive tailing people.
你不知道你要赶着追随者走多远。
About 40% of Jonathan's business is surveillance work on domestic cases, people who think their spouses are cheating on them.
乔纳森大约 40% 的业务是对家庭案件进行监视工作，这些案件是那些认为自己的配偶出轨的人。
The rest of his work is accident investigations, tracking people down, serving them legal papers, and then various insurance and unemployment fraud cases.
他的其余工作是事故调查、追踪人员、向他们提供法律文件，然后处理各种保险和失业欺诈案件。
Today's client is a husband who's become suspicious of his wife and was willing to put up $50 an hour, plus expenses, to have her followed, 10 hours paid upfront.
今天的客户是一位丈夫，他对妻子产生了怀疑，并愿意每小时支付 50 美元，外加其他费用，让她接受跟踪，并预付 10 个小时。
She's been going out a lot, with excuses that don't seem plausible.
她出去了很多次，借口似乎不太合理。
She's out on weekends.
她周末出去。
She leaves early on weekends.
周末她很早就离开。
She started dressing a little bit sexier, you could say, when she's going to work.
可以说，当她去上班时，她开始穿得更性感一点。
That's usually a signal.
这通常是一个信号。
Also, if they start losing weight, if they had a weight problem, or if they start working out a lot.
此外，如果他们开始减肥，如果他们有体重问题，或者如果他们开始大量锻炼。
Today, she's supposed to be going out after work with her girlfriends from her job.
今天，她下班后应该和闺蜜出去玩。
We're going to wait by the store where she works and follow her to see if that's were she goes.
我们会在她工作的商店旁边等她，然后跟踪她，看看她是否去了那里。
This is what we're going to do.
这就是我们要做的。
When I first get there is I'm going to look for the vehicle that the client described to me that his wife drives.
当我第一次到达那里时，我会寻找客户向我描述的他妻子驾驶的车辆。
Now, did he give you her picture or something?
现在，他有给你她的照片什么的吗？
Do you know what she looks like?
你知道她长什么样吗？
I have to admit here that when I saw the photo, I was completely floored.
我必须承认，当我看到这张照片时，我完全惊呆了。
Somehow, based on a thousand detective stories, I'd assumed that these would be middle-aged people, mature people, in a marriage that had gone stale over years.
不知何故，根据一千个侦探故事，我假设这些人都是中年人，成熟的人，婚姻多年来已经变得陈旧。
But the woman in this photo was 25 years old, beamingly happy, a suburban girl on vacation in Disneyland or someplace like that.
但这张照片中的女人 25 岁，笑容满面，是一个在迪士尼乐园或类似地方度假的郊区女孩。
And suddenly, it hit me, looking at this picture, the human tragedy of what was about to happen.
突然，看着这张照片，我突然意识到即将发生的人类悲剧。
If she were cheating on her husband, and we caught her, one way or another, her life was about to turn completely upside down, starting tonight.
如果她背叛了她的丈夫，而我们以某种方式抓住了她，那么从今晚开始，她的生活将彻底颠覆。
OK, now the trick here is looking for the vehicle.
好的，现在这里的技巧是寻找车辆。
We circle the store where she works.
我们绕着她工作的商店转了一圈。
And we find her car easily enough.
我们很容易找到她的车。
It's out back.
已经出来了。
But finding out where we should go turns out to be surprisingly tricky.
但事实证明，找出我们应该去哪里是非常棘手的。
We can't just park in the alley, because she'll see us.
我们不能把车停在巷子里，因为她会看到我们。
So we have to park at one end of the alley.
所以我们必须把车停在巷子的一端。
But then which end?
但那又是哪一个结局呢？
If we choose the south end and she drives north, she could lose us.
如果我们选择南端而她向北行驶，她可能会失去我们。
And then there's the fact that we need to see her without her noticing us.
事实上，我们需要在她不注意到我们的情况下见到她。
Fortunately, the client chooses that moment to call on Jonathan's cellular phone.
幸运的是，客户选择了那个时刻拨打乔纳森的手机。
Uh-huh?
嗯？
OK, so you're saying that she'll probably be heading south is her normal-- OK.
好吧，所以你是说她可能会往南走，这是她的常态——好吧。
All right, sir.
好吧，先生。
OK.
好的。
You're welcome.
不客气。
Bye.
再见。
We find one position.
我们找到一个位置。
But then a truck blocks our view.
但随后一辆卡车挡住了我们的视线。
We move two more times.
我们又搬了两次家。
Who ever thought that this would be this complicated?
谁曾想到事情会如此复杂？
Also, it's boring.
而且，这很无聊。
I smoke one of Jonathan's Newport Lights simply to stay awake.
我吸一支乔纳森纽波特香烟只是为了保持清醒。
Jonathan watches in his rear view mirror for the woman.
乔纳森从后视镜中观察那个女人。
He takes notes on the case.
他对案件做了笔记。
I take notes on him.
我记下他的笔记。
And sitting in a car like this, in a way, it's just like you've seen in those cop buddy movies.
坐在这样的车里，在某种程度上，就像你在那些警察伙伴电影中看到的那样。
You really do start to talk about everything.
你真的开始谈论一切。
Scarface, I didn't see Scarface.
疤面煞星，我没看到疤面煞星。
Was Scarface that good?
疤面煞星有那么好吗？
All I heard about Scarface was it's just real violent, right?
我所听到的关于《疤面煞星》的一切就是它真的很暴力，对吧？
That's all I heard was it was just real violent.
我所听到的就是这真的很暴力。
Yeah, it's real violent, but the story was really good, I thought.
是的，这确实很暴力，但我认为这个故事真的很棒。
And the acting was excellent.
表演非常出色。
I just thought it was a really well-made movie.
我只是觉得这是一部制作精良的电影。
So you know what they call a Big Mac in France?
那么你知道法国人所说的巨无霸是什么吗？
The Royale with cheese is what threw me.
皇家奶酪让我很震惊。
I ordered one just to see what it was.
我订购了一个只是想看看它是什么。
What was it?
那是什么？
Jonathan Rosenberg It's just a quarter-pounder.
乔纳森·罗森伯格：这只是四分之一磅重。
I was disappointed.
我很失望。
I thought it was something different that's not in the States.
我认为这是美国所没有的不同东西。
A half hour passes, and another half hour.
半个小时过去了，又是半个小时。
Someone who might have been the woman comes out, smokes a cigarette, goes back in, later, comes out again, goes back in again.
一个可能是那个女人的人出来了，抽了一支烟，又进去了，稍后，又出来了，又进去了。
If this woman was having an affair, she was in no hurry to get to the affair.
如果这个女人有外遇，她并不急于去处理这件事。
Or possibly, the woman who we were waiting for left long ago through the front door of the shop, which we cannot see.
又或许，我们等待的那位女士早已从我们看不到的商店前门离开了。
Anyway, finally, after all the boredom, something happens.
无论如何，在所有的无聊之后，终于发生了一些事情。
OK.
好的。
That's our vehicle.
那是我们的车。
And it looks like it's coming this way.
而且看起来好像是朝这边过来的。
We spin around to follow her car, and we tail her for 15 minutes.
我们转身跟踪她的车，跟踪了她 15 分钟。
Often, we are driving directly behind her, sometimes on nearly deserted streets.
通常，我们直接跟在她后面开车，有时是在几乎空无一人的街道上。
And still, she does not seem to notice, which Jonathan says is typical.
尽管如此，她似乎并没有注意到，乔纳森说这是典型的情况。
And if this sounds incredible to you, OK, try this test.
如果这对你来说难以置信，那么，尝试一下这个测试。
If you are hearing the sound of my voice in an automobile right now, let me ask you-- now don't look in your rear view mirror-- let me just ask you, what kind of car is behind you?
如果你现在在汽车里听到我的声音，让我问你——现在不要看后视镜——让我问你，你后面是什么车？
And how long has it been there?
它已经存在多久了？
No one pays attention to stuff like this.
没有人关注这样的事情。
[PHONE RINGING] Jonathan Rosenberg Hello?
[电话铃声] 乔纳森·罗森伯格 你好？
OK.
好的。
Your wife has just left about 10 minutes ago.
你的妻子大约 10 分钟前刚刚离开。
We're in pursuit right now.
我们现在正在追击。
Finally, she pulls into a strip mall.
最后，她把车开进了一家露天购物中心。
She parks.
她停车。
We park a little down the way.
我们把车停在路边不远的地方。
Jonathan opens up a map, so we don't look so suspicious sitting there, though of course, with cameras and tape recorders, we are the most suspicious-looking car imaginable.
乔纳森打开了一张地图，所以我们坐在那儿看起来并不那么可疑，当然，有了相机和录音机，我们是可以想象到的最可疑的汽车。
Then he pulls out binoculars, which only helps the whole effect.
然后他拿出双筒望远镜，这只会有助于整体效果。
And sitting there, suddenly, I realize I have no idea what is about to happen.
坐在那里，突然，我意识到我不知道将要发生什么。
The woman is sitting in front of a store like the same kind of store she works for.
这位女士坐在一家商店前面，就像她工作的同一家商店一样。
So, I think, perhaps it is possible she is going to be meeting friends who she knows from her job.
所以，我认为，也许她会遇到她在工作中认识的朋友。
On the other hand, all the women back at her job left separately in separate cars at separate times.
另一方面，所有回到工作岗位的女性都在不同的时间分别乘坐不同的汽车离开。
So could they really be going out together?
那么他们真的可以一起出去吗？
Why were we at this strip mall?
我们为什么来到这个购物中心？
Where were we headed next?
接下来我们要去哪里？
In most jobs, you know pretty much what is going to happen when you arrive at work that morning.
在大多数工作中，当你早上上班时，你几乎知道会发生什么。
And it occurred to me at that moment that for Jonathan, that is simply not true.
那一刻我突然意识到，对于乔纳森来说，这根本不是真的。
I got to tell you, you're blowing the premise for my story.
我必须告诉你，你破坏了我故事的前提。
I was going to come out with you.
我本来想和你一起出去的。
I was going to say, well, this private investigative work, you think it's really glamorous and really interesting if you see it on TV and the movies.
我想说，嗯，这部私家侦探作品，如果你在电视和电影上看到它，你会觉得它非常迷人，非常有趣。
But really, if you hang around with the guys, it's kind of boring.
但说实话，如果你和这些家伙混在一起，那就有点无聊了。
But now, I'm out with you, and I think I'm wrong.
但现在，我和你在一起了，我想我错了。
It is actually pretty interesting.
这实际上很有趣。
It is.
这是。
But when you're comparing it to Magnum, P.
但当你将它与 Magnum 进行比较时，P.
I.
我。
or Simon & Simon, it really doesn't compare to that kind of excitement.
或者Simon & Simon，确实比不上那种兴奋。
And at that moment, the car we're following pulls out, and we pursue.
就在那时，我们跟随的车开走了，我们追赶。
And then she does something kind of strange, actually.
然后她实际上做了一些奇怪的事情。
She pulls into an alley.
她把车开进一条小巷。
And she waits.
她等待着。
She went straight down the alley, right?
她径直朝小巷走去，对吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Do you think she's trying to lose us?
你认为她是想失去我们吗？
Well, actually I don't know.
嗯，其实我不知道。
Ira Glass We can't follow her without her noticing.
艾拉·格拉斯：我们不能在她不注意的情况下跟踪她。
So we circle the block.
所以我们绕着街区转一圈。
She backs up, then drives back into the alley.
她倒车，然后把车开回小巷。
Then she circles the block.
然后她绕着街区转了一圈。
And finally we solve the mystery of what she's doing.
最后我们解开了她所做之事的谜团。
Jonathan, the trained detective, is the one who figures this out.
乔纳森是一位训练有素的侦探，他解决了这个问题。
She is not on to us.
她不喜欢我们。
She's looking for a parking space.
她正在寻找停车位。
She gets out of the car, heads into a restaurant.
她下了车，走进一家餐厅。
It's a big, cheap, family-style restaurant.
这是一家又大又便宜的家庭式餐厅。
You know something, I don't think that she's having an affair.
你知道吗，我不认为她有外遇。
And I tell you why.
我告诉你原因。
It's because if you were having an affair with somebody, you would not go to this particular restaurant.
这是因为如果你和某人有外遇，你就不会去这家特定的餐厅。
It's just not romantic enough.
只是还不够浪漫。
Right.
正确的。
Ira Glass If you were out really for sex with somebody, and you've only got a couple hours, you're not going to go here.
Ira Glass：如果你真的出去和某人发生性关系，而你只有几个小时的时间，你就不会来这里。
That's true.
这是真的。
Ira Glass But looked at another way, maybe she is going to be meet a guy here, quickly, where no one would suspect them.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）但从另一个角度来看，也许她很快就会在这里遇到一个男人，没有人会怀疑他们。
I feel like I keep just going back and forth on whether I think that she's seeing somebody.
我觉得我一直在思考她是否在和某人约会。
Are you doing that, too, or are you--
你也这样做吗，还是你——
Well, no. I'm just-- Ira Glass You're neutral.
嗯，不。我只是—— Ira Glass 你是中立的。
I'm just trying to find out the information and report it.
我只是想了解一下信息并报告一下。
Yeah, I know.
是的，我知道。
But from moment to moment, don't you feel like you decide, "Yes, she must be.
但时不时地，你是否会觉得自己在决定：“是的，她一定是。
No, no, she can't be.
不，不，她不可能。
Yes, she must be.
是的，她一定是。
No, she can't be"?
不，她不可能是”？
See, this is the clinch.
瞧，这就是紧要关头。
This is the clinch right now.
这就是现在的关键。
Because we know what we're here to find out is inside there.
因为我们知道我们来这里是为了找出里面的东西。
And I know the answer's inside, so why start guessing?
我知道答案就在里面，那为什么还要开始猜测呢？
I could just walk inside and tell you what the answer is.
我可以走进去告诉你答案是什么。
And so we head into the restaurant.
于是我们就走进了餐厅。
Jonathan leaves his cameras and his notepads in the car.
乔纳森把他的相机和记事本留在车里。
I leave my tape recorder.
我留下了我的录音机。
Jonathan says we'd be too conspicuous with that stuff.
乔纳森说我们用那些东西太显眼了。
And when we walk in, we're pretty much convinced that she is meeting girlfriends from work, just like she told her husband.
当我们走进去时，我们非常确信她正在和工作中的女朋友见面，就像她告诉她丈夫的那样。
So we go in.
所以我们进去。
And we spot her right away in a booth with a man.
我们立刻就发现她和一个男人在一个隔间里。
The way the restaurant is laid out, we can sit at the bar with our back to the couple and then watch everything they do in this big, plate glass mirror that's behind the bar.
餐厅的布局方式是，我们可以坐在吧台背对这对夫妇，然后通过吧台后面的大平板玻璃镜子观看他们所做的一切。
They don't serve Cherry Diet Coke at this bar.
他们在这家酒吧不提供樱桃健怡可乐。
So Jonathan orders a regular Diet Coke.
所以乔纳森点了一杯普通的健怡可乐。
And we sit there.
我们坐在那里。
His cell phone rings.
他的手机响了。
And it's the woman's husband.
而且还是那个女人的丈夫。
Jonathan gives him the news this way.
乔纳森就这样把消息告诉了他。
He says, very quietly, "Apparently, your suspicions were correct." The husband gets angry, which Jonathan says is unusual.
他非常平静地说：“看来你的怀疑是正确的。”丈夫生气了，乔纳森说这很不寻常。
For some reason, men in this situation, when they get this news, usually cry.
出于某种原因，处于这种情况的男人在得知这个消息时通常会哭泣。
Women get angry, in Jonathan's experience.
根据乔纳森的经验，女人会生气。
I watch the couple in the mirror.
我看着镜子里的这对情侣。
She's telling the guy a story, gesturing with her hands.
她正在给那个家伙讲故事，并用手做手势。
He laughs.
他笑了。
And I think, "You have no idea what's about to hit you."
我想，“你不知道什么会袭击你。”
I watch.
我看着。
Someday, that woman's going to look back on this night.
总有一天，那个女人会回想起这个夜晚。
And she'll think, "So when I drove to the restaurant, when I was driving there, I was being followed.
她会想，“所以当我开车去餐厅时，当我开车去那里时，我被跟踪了。
When we sat talking that night, we were being watched.
那天晚上，当我们坐下来聊天时，有人在监视我们。
And I didn't know."
我不知道。”
She'll try to picture it, put it together in her mind.
她会试着想象它，把它放在脑子里。
Where was the detective?
侦探在哪里？
Where did he wait?
他在哪里等呢？
Where did he sit?
他坐在哪里？
What did he see her do?
他看到她做了什么？
In the mirror, Jonathan and I watch the woman get a call on her cellular phone.
在镜子里，乔纳森和我看到那个女人用手机接到电话。
And she pulls back a little bit from the man who she's with and withdraw into herself a little bit, talks on the phone.
她从和她在一起的男人身边退了一点，退缩了一点，在电话里交谈。
And we wonder, is that her husband?
我们想知道，那是她的丈夫吗？
Is he just messing with her?
他只是在玩弄她吗？
She talks and hangs up.
她说完就挂断电话。
30 seconds later, Jonathan's cell phone rings.
30秒后，乔纳森的手机响了。
It was him.
是他。
He was messing with her.
他在逗她。
He's like, "So, are you out with the girls?
他说：“那么，你和女孩们出去了吗？
Uh-huh.
嗯嗯。
Where are you guys.
你们在哪里。
Yeah, who's there?
是啊，谁在那儿？
What are you guys talking about?" "That lying bitch," he said to Jonathan.
你们在说什么？” “那个撒谎的母狗，”他对乔纳森说。
For some reason, it's hard at this moment to feel much sympathy for him.
出于某种原因，此时此刻很难对他产生太多同情。
I have to tell you about the strangest thing about this entire scene.
我必须告诉你整个场景中最奇怪的事情。
And that is that there's no sex vibe between these two people.
那就是这两个人之间没有性氛围。
In fact, the man is shoveling food in his mouth with a kind of circular motion of his hand that is the least sexy thing possible.
事实上，这个男人正在用他的手以一种打圈的方式将食物铲进嘴里，这是最不性感的事情。
It's just crude.
这只是粗糙的。
You watch him, and you think, "She is not going to bed with you, if you're going to eat like that." And in fact, when they come out of the restaurant, they go their separate ways without even a kiss, without a hug.
你看着他，你会想：“如果你要那样吃，她就不会和你一起睡觉。”事实上，当他们走出餐厅时，他们就分道扬镳了，甚至没有一个吻，没有一个拥抱。
Jonathan snaps a few pictures of them outside.
乔纳森在外面给他们拍了几张照片。
Is that him?
是他吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Ira Glass We follow the guy home, get his license plate numbers, get his address.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 我们跟踪这个人回家，获取他的车牌号码，获取他的地址。
It's an unusual case, because 90% of the time, Jonathan says, when somebody suspects the spouse of having an affair, the detective catches them the first time out.
乔纳森说，这是一个不寻常的案例，因为 90% 的情况下，当有人怀疑配偶有外遇时，侦探会第一时间抓住他们。
This case, he's not very sure what's going on.
这个案子，他也不太清楚到底是怎么回事。
He follows the woman for five more days, over $1,000 worth of surveillance, before finally, he catches her actually going home with the guy.
他又跟踪了这名女子五天，花费了超过 1,000 美元的监视费用，最后他发现她真的和那家伙一起回家了。
In the car, later, I ask him if his job ever gives him the creeps, following people around, secretly watching them in these vulnerable moments, photographing them and videotaping them, gathering evidence that will probably destroy their marriages.
后来在车上，我问他，他的工作是否让他感到毛骨悚然，跟踪周围的人，在他们脆弱的时刻偷偷观察他们，给他们拍照、录像，收集可能会毁掉他们婚姻的证据。
Well, that's always upsetting.
嗯，这总是令人不安。
You never really want to see that happen to people.
你永远不想看到这种事发生在人们身上。
But if it came to be that way, it did.
但如果事情真的是这样的话，那就是这样了。
It was through no fault of my own.
这并不是我自己的错。
And these people made their decision to partake in the activities they chose to partake.
这些人决定参加他们选择参加的活动。
And if they're not being faithful to each other, then maybe they really shouldn't be married.
如果他们对彼此不忠诚，那么也许他们真的不应该结婚。
It's that old saying.
这就是那句老话。
It's better to find out now than later.
现在发现比以后发现要好。
[PHONE RINGS] Jonathan Rosenberg Hello?
[电话铃声] 乔纳森·罗森伯格 你好？
I should be home about 9:30, 10 o'clock.
我应该在 9 点 30 分、10 点左右到家。
But if I'll be home later, I'll call you.
但如果我稍后回家，我会给你打电话。
OK.
好的。
Love you, too.
我也爱你。
Bye.
再见。
That's the wife.
那是妻子。
Jonathan's actually a newlywed.
乔纳森实际上是一位新婚夫妇。
He's been married for only eight months.
他结婚才八个月。
And he says, yes, having this job has affected his view of marriage.
他说，是的，这份工作影响了他对婚姻的看法。
How can it not?
怎么可能不呢？
You're more careful about it, because you see it.
你会更加小心，因为你看到了。
But it really hasn't affected me in a negative way with my relationship with my wife.
但这确实没有对我和妻子的关系产生负面影响。
You were saying when we were inside that you guys joke about it, in fact.
事实上，当我们在里面时，你说你们开玩笑。
Oh yeah, we do, we do.
哦，是的，我们愿意，我们愿意。
If I ask her, "What time are you going to be home?" And then she'll be like, "Well, I'm not going to tell you.
如果我问她：“你什么时候回家？”然后她会说：“好吧，我不会告诉你。
I got to go meet my boyfriend." And we're like, "All right.
我得去见我男朋友了。”我们就像，“好吧。
That's all right.
没关系。
I'll find it out anyways.
无论如何我都会找出来的。
I know it anyways, you don't need to tell me." Like I have a surveillance or a tail on her at that minute anyways.
反正我都知道，你不用告诉我。”无论如何，就像我在那一刻有监视或跟踪她一样。
But we have a really good relationship.
但我们的关系非常好。
As for me, for the next few days after the surveillance, I had this experience I have never had in my life.
而我呢，在被监控之后的几天里，我有了这辈子从未有过的经历。
I was completely suspicious of everyone.
我对每个人都充满了怀疑。
At one point, I was waiting for somebody outside a McDonald's.
有一次，我在麦当劳外面等人。
And a guy in a black Corolla zooms in, just tears into the parking lot, tears around the curve, pulls into a space.
一个开着黑色卡罗拉的家伙拉近镜头，冲进停车场，绕过弯道，驶入一个停车位。
And I don't know why, I felt like, "OK.
我不知道为什么，我觉得，“好吧。
I better start taking notes." I have them, right here.
我最好开始记笔记。”我有它们，就在这里。
"Man wore sunglasses, has crew cut.
“男子戴着墨镜，留着平头。
Loud music blares from car.
车里传来响亮的音乐声。
Jumps out, beefy guy, gives me suspicious look.
跳出来，强壮的家伙，给了我可疑的眼神。
I give him suspicious look." And then below here, on the notes, I have his license plate number, just in case.
我用怀疑的眼神看着他。”然后在下面的笔记上，我有他的车牌号，以防万一。
Well, our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and myself, Julie Snyder, Alix Spiegel, Peter Clowney, and Dolores Wilber.
嗯，我们今天的节目是由南希·厄普代克和我、朱莉·斯奈德、阿利克斯·斯皮格尔、彼得·克劳尼和多洛雷斯·威尔伯制作的。
Our senior editor for this particular show, Paul Tough, with contributing editors Jack Hitt, Margy Rochlin, and Consigliere Sarah Vowell.
本期节目的高级编辑 Paul Tough 以及特约编辑 Jack Hitt、Margy Rochlin 和 Consigliere Sarah Vowell。
Shiow-Jiau Yung runs our website.
Shiow-Jiau Yung 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Todd Bachmann, Jane Feltes, Seth Lind, and Vija Navarro.
Todd Bachmann、Jane Feltes、Seth Lind 和 Vija Navarro 为制作提供帮助。
Original musical scoring for David Sedaris's story by Michael Zerang.
迈克尔·泽朗 (Michael Zerang) 为大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 的故事创作的原创音乐。
He played that music with Fred Lonberg-Holm.
他与 Fred Lonberg-Holm 一起演奏了这首音乐。
Mary Gaffney recorded the music here in the WBEZ studios.
Mary Gaffney 在 WBEZ 录音室录制了音乐。
Music help elsewhere in the program by Mr. John Connors and [?
约翰·康纳斯先生和 [？
Terry West.
特里·韦斯特.
?]
？]
We are informed that Donald Sobol is the guy who wrote Encyclopedia Brown.
我们得知唐纳德·索博尔是《布朗百科全书》的作者。
Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org, where you can get all of our weekly action-packed shows in podcast form, or you can listen to old programs online.
我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中以播客形式获取我们所有每周精彩的节目，也可以在线收听旧节目。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] Ira Glass WBEZ management oversight for our show by Mr. Torey Malatia, who has something he wants to say to the Sedaris family.
[资金来源] Ira Glass WBEZ 管理人员 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的节目进行了监督，他有话想对 Sedaris 家族说。
He's been carrying this around for years.
多年来他一直带着这个。
It's just been killing him.
这简直就是要了他的命。
All right, it was me.
好吧，是我。
You satisfied now?
现在你满意了吗？
That's right, me.
没错，我。
I did it, me.
我做到了，我。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。