268: My Experimental Phase - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #268 | June 17, 2005 268: My Experimental Phase Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 268 集 | 2005 年 6 月 17 日 268：我的实验阶段 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
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如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass How exactly is it that a person who is not gay comes to believe, really believe, that they are gay for two years?
序言 Ira Glass 一个非同性恋者到底是如何在两年内相信、真正相信自己是同性恋的？
Well, one of the contributing editors to this very radio program, Nancy Updike, had that experience herself.
嗯，这个广播节目的特约编辑之一南希·厄普代克（Nancy Updike）自己就有过这样的经历。
And she says, she did not just turn itself into any kind of gay person, no, no no. In her case, it was total, complete, full-hearted unambiguous commitment.
她说，她并没有把自己变成任何一种同性恋者，不，不，不。对她来说，这是完全、完整、全心全意、明确的承诺。
Completely completely and utterly.
完全完全、彻底。
I worked at a gay newspaper.
我在一家同性恋报纸工作。
I only hung out with gay people.
我只和同性恋者一起出去玩。
In my spare time, I read about gay history.
在业余时间，我阅读有关同性恋的历史。
I dressed like a dyke.
我穿得像个堤坝。
You know me now as kind of a femmy person.
你现在知道我是一个女性化的人。
Yeah.
是的。
I cut my hair short.
我把头发剪短了。
And I didn't wear any makeup.
而且我没有化妆。
And I sort of dressed to hide my body.
我穿衣服是为了隐藏我的身体。
I had male friends that I called Mary.
我有一些男性朋友，我称之为玛丽。
And so was there any kind of limit to your gayness?
那么你的同性恋有什么限制吗？
Yeah.
是的。
The limit was that I really kind of couldn't bring myself to actually sleep with women.
限制是我真的无法让自己真正和女人睡觉。
So that's seems like that would be kind of a problem.
所以这似乎是一个问题。
It was.
是的。
It was.
是的。
I mean, at the time, it was sort of like, well, I'm in this difficult transition.
我的意思是，当时，有点像，嗯，我正处于这个艰难的转变之中。
And I'm sure I'm just about to do that.
我确信我即将这么做。
You know, it's like, yeah, yeah, I'll get to that.
你知道，就像是，是的，是的，我会做到这一点。
You know, it was like a loose end I hadn't tied up yet.
你知道，这就像我还没有打结的一个松散的结局。
It's like that squeaky door to the shed.
就像棚屋那扇吱吱作响的门。
You keep meaning to fix it.
你一直想解决它。
And every weekend it's like, I guess I forgot to fix the squeaky door.
每个周末就像，我想我忘了修理吱吱作响的门。
I mean, I just didn't want to.
我的意思是，我只是不想这么做。
I just didn't want to.
我只是不想。
So how does somebody who feels that way come to think that they're gay in the first place?
那么，有这种感觉的人最初是如何认为自己是同性恋的呢？
When Nancy had just gotten out of college, she moved into the city.
南希大学刚毕业，就搬到了城里。
Her parents were going through a bitter divorce.
她的父母正在经历痛苦的离婚。
All her college relationships with boys had been disasters.
她在大学期间与男孩的所有关系都是灾难。
That's how it felt at the time anyway.
无论如何，当时的感觉就是这样。
I was really unhappy.
我真的很不高兴。
And I felt that this must be the explanation.
我觉得这一定是解释。
I can't make these relationships work.
我无法让这些关系发挥作用。
They seem so awful.
他们看起来太可怕了。
Part of what was awful is that I never trusted them.
可怕的是我从不相信他们。
All my close friends are women.
我所有的亲密朋友都是女性。
And I love my women friends.
我爱我的女性朋友。
And it just seemed like sort of a short leap to like well, maybe I'm in love.
似乎只是很短的一段时间就喜欢上了，也许我恋爱了。
Maybe that's what's going on.
也许这就是正在发生的事情。
Maybe that's the problem.
也许这就是问题所在。
Right, you had heard stories about people like you where their relationships hadn't worked out and they were unhappy all the time.
是的，你听说过像你这样的人的故事，他们的人际关系不顺利，而且一直不快乐。
And it turns out they were gay.
事实证明他们是同性恋。
That was the problem.
这就是问题所在。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
And it's like a snowball rolling downhill.
这就像一个雪球从山上滚下来。
Once you get the ball started you start to accumulate evidence in your mind that that's in fact the case.
一旦你开始行动，你就会开始在脑海中积累证据，证明事实确实如此。
Remember that little friend you had in fourth grade, well maybe you loved her.
还记得你四年级时的那个小朋友吗，也许你爱她。
You guys were so close.
你们曾经如此亲密。
And maybe the fact that you like to wear pants, well that's part of it.
也许你喜欢穿裤子，这就是其中的一部分。
You were a little butch.
你本来就是个小混蛋。
You liked to wear pants in high school when other girls liked to wear skirts.
高中时你喜欢穿裤子，而其他女孩喜欢穿裙子。
You really start to-- or at least I did-- really start to sort of put everything together to make that the story.
你真的开始——或者至少我是——真正开始把所有的东西放在一起，让这个故事成为故事。
Because I really, really, really wanted to believe this story.
因为我真的真的真的很想相信这个故事。
Do you remember the first step you took?
你还记得你迈出的第一步吗？
Oh, well the very first step was probably breaking up with my boyfriend.
哦，好吧，第一步可能就是和我男朋友分手。
But the step after that, I joined a lesbian feminist reading group.
但在那之后，我加入了一个女同性恋女权主义阅读小组。
And it was just like history, herstory, and humanity, and huwomanity.
这就像历史、她的故事、人性和女性气质一样。
I mean, I knew at the time this is not helping me.
我的意思是，我当时就知道这对我没有帮助。
So for two years, this is how it went.
就这样，两年了，就这样过去了。
Nancy was a reporter for the Philadelphia Gay News.
南希是《费城同性恋新闻》的记者。
She thought of herself as gay.
她认为自己是同性恋。
Gay men and women would talk about how they grew up feeling like they were so different from their families, biding their time until they could leave home and be themselves.
男同性恋者和女同性恋者会谈论他们在成长过程中如何感觉自己与家人如此不同，等待时机，直到他们可以离开家并做自己。
And Nancy felt like that was her story too.
南希觉得这也是她的故事。
It had her story, except for the gay part.
它有她的故事，除了同性恋部分。
Nancy had never wanted to marry or have kids.
南希从未想过结婚或生孩子。
And she loved that now she was surrounded by people who didn't want to marry or have kids.
她喜欢现在周围都是不想结婚或生孩子的人。
After a while, she did start to go out with a woman.
过了一段时间，她确实开始和女人出去了。
But it was awkward and it was terrible.
但这很尴尬而且很可怕。
And reality started to set in.
现实开始显现。
Little things would happen that would make her question what she was doing.
一些小事情的发生会让她质疑自己在做什么。
One day one of her coworkers, a gay man, was heading out of the office for lunch.
有一天，她的一位同性恋同事正走出办公室去吃午饭。
He came up behind me and he started rubbing my back, giving me a shoulder rub.
他走到我身后，开始揉我的背，揉我的肩膀。
It was kind of like the plug in the socket.
这有点像插座中的插头。
It was just electric.
这只是电动的。
It was the first time I had been touched on my skin by a man in a couple of years.
这是几年来我第一次被男人触摸我的皮肤。
In my head, I was just like Nancy, you've got to give this up.
在我看来，我就像南希一样，你必须放弃这个。
Within a week, she started going around to people she knew.
一周之内，她开始去找她认识的人。
She'd already come out as a homosexual to family and to friends, which is a tough thing for anybody to do.
她已经向家人和朋友公开自己是同性恋，这对任何人来说都是一件很难的事情。
And now, incredibly, she had to come out again as straight, which is even harder because she was so embarrassed.
现在，令人难以置信的是，她必须再次以异性恋的身份出柜，这更加困难，因为她感到非常尴尬。
And it was hard not being part of a group anymore.
不再成为一个团体的一部分是很难的。
I felt so sad to leave that.
离开那个我感到很难过。
I felt alone.
我感到孤独。
I felt like, you know, I'm really on my own.
我觉得，你知道，我真的只能靠自己了。
From WBEZ Chicago, It's This American Life distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《It's This American Life》由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, My Experimental Phase, stories of people who are very unhappy who decide to become somebody different, and love being somebody different, and then have to choose whether to go back to being the person they once were.
今天在我们的节目“我的实验阶段”中，讲述了一些非常不快乐的人决定成为不同的人，并且喜欢成为不同的人，然后必须选择是否回到原来的人的故事。
Act One of our program, Funny, You Don't Look Jewish.
我们节目的第一幕，有趣，你看起来不像犹太人。
In that act, a man who's living essentially like a very devout, 19th century Polish villager, jumps forward two centuries, starts watching TV, and changes very, very fast.
在那一幕中，一个本质上像一个非常虔诚的 19 世纪波兰村民一样生活的人，跳进了两个世纪，开始看电视，变化非常非常快。
Act Two, Miami Vices.
第二幕，迈阿密恶习。
In that act, a middle school students switches schools and tries out an entirely new personality.
在那一幕中，一名中学生转学并尝试全新的性格。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, That's Funny, You Don't Look Jewish.
第一幕，这很有趣，你看起来不像犹太人。
This story takes place in Williamsburg, a neighborhood in Brooklyn where different worlds collide, or at least wearily orbit around each other.
这个故事发生在威廉斯堡，布鲁克林的一个街区，不同的世界在这里碰撞，或者至少疲倦地相互围绕。
There's hipster Williamsburg, which is filled with galleries, and studios, and restaurants, and night spots, and lots of aspiring artists and musicians.
这里有时髦的威廉斯堡，那里遍布画廊、工作室、餐馆和夜总会，还有许多有抱负的艺术家和音乐家。
And then there's Hasidic Williamsburg, which is pretty much stuck in the 19th century.
然后是哈西德威廉斯堡，它几乎停留在 19 世纪。
You've probably at least seen pictures of the Hasids at one point or another.
您可能至少曾经看过哈西德家族的照片。
These are the religious Jews who shun just about everything modern.
这些虔诚的犹太人几乎回避一切现代事物。
The women all wear long dresses, most of them wear wigs.
妇女们都穿着长裙，大多数都戴着假发。
All the men wear identical black suits, white shirts, black hats, and they have that hair thing, you may have noticed, something called payes, the long curls that fall near their sideburns down their face in front of the ears.
所有的男人都穿着相同的黑色西装、白色衬衫、黑色帽子，你可能已经注意到，他们都有一种叫做发髻的头发，长长的卷发落在他们的鬓角附近，一直垂到耳朵前面。
These two Williamsburgs don't interact much.
这两个威廉斯堡并没有太多互动。
They hardly even acknowledge each other except on very rare occasions.
除了极少数情况外，他们甚至几乎不承认对方。
David Segal is a staff writer and the former rock critic at the Washington Post.
大卫·西格尔是《华盛顿邮报》的特约撰稿人和前摇滚评论家。
And he tells the story of one of those occasions.
他讲述了其中一次的故事。
It's hard to imagine this about a group of people living one subway stop from Manhattan.
很难想象一群人住在距离曼哈顿一站地铁的地方。
But the Hasids of Williamsburg know next to nothing about the world outside their enclave.
但威廉斯堡的哈西德家族对他们飞地之外的世界几乎一无所知。
And that's the way they want it.
这就是他们想要的方式。
The bible, they say, tells them to keep separate from everyone else, to build boundaries that are as thick as possible.
他们说，圣经告诉他们要与其他人保持距离，建立尽可能厚的界限。
Their outfits are meant to set them apart.
他们的服装旨在让他们与众不同。
And then there's the language barrier.
还有语言障碍。
Though nearly all of these people are born and raised here in the US, Yiddish is the only language most of them truly know.
尽管几乎所有这些人都在美国出生和长大，但意第绪语是他们大多数人真正懂得的唯一语言。
None of us know English.
我们没人懂英语。
We don't talk English at home.
我们在家不说英语。
We study English class one hour a day.
我们每天学习一小时的英语课。
This is Chaim.
这是查姆。
He didn't want us to mention his last name, for good reasons as you'll find out later.
他不想让我们提及他的姓氏，这是有充分理由的，稍后你会发现。
Boys and girls are completely divided.
男孩和女孩是完全分开的。
There's no movies.
没有电影。
We don't know anything about the world.
我们对这个世界一无所知。
We don't know any celebrities.
我们不认识任何名人。
Had you heard of MTV?
你听说过MTV吗？
Chaim Not even close.
Chaim 还差得很远。
We didn't even know radio.
我们甚至不知道广播。
We never heard radio, not even AM.
我们从来没有听过广播，甚至没有听过中波广播。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
So if someone had mentioned the Rolling Stones, or U2, or other rock bands, you would not have recognized those names?
那么，如果有人提到滚石乐队、U2 或其他摇滚乐队，您不会认出这些名字吗？
Rolling Stones, I would think it's something that injured somebody.
滚石乐队，我认为这是伤害某人的事情。
I wouldn't know what Rolling Stones mean.
我不知道滚石乐队是什么意思。
At the time this story begins, one night, years ago, Chaim is 20 and single, which in the Hasidic community, is a problem.
在这个故事开始时，几年前的一个晚上，哈伊姆 20 岁，单身，这在哈西德派社区中是一个问题。
The problem though, has a highly ritualized solution.
不过，这个问题有一个高度仪式化的解决方案。
Through matchmakers, the groom-to-be is sent on what sounds more like a job interview than a date.
通过媒人，准新郎被派去参加听起来更像是一次工作面试而不是约会。
The guy meets the father of the potential bride and he peppers the young man with questions.
那家伙见到了潜在新娘的父亲，并向年轻人提出了很多问题。
If the father likes the answers, the guy meets the daughter.
如果父亲喜欢这个答案，那家伙就会去见女儿。
And after a brief meeting or two, the pair decide whether to marry.
经过一两次简短的会面后，两人决定是否结婚。
Well, Chaim has been on a few these outings.
哈伊姆参加过几次这样的郊游。
And he kept flunking the father interview.
他在父亲的面试中总是不及格。
On the night in quesiton, his would have been father-in-law asked Chaim if he would stay in school, in yeshiva and study full time.
在询问的那天晚上，他的岳父问哈伊姆是否愿意留在犹太学校全日制学习。
It would be prestigious having a scholar in the family.
家里有一个学者，那是很有威望的。
But Chaim had told him the truth, that yeshiva didn't interest him much.
但哈伊姆告诉了他真相，他对犹太学院不太感兴趣。
When he was rejected, not for the first time, his family thought he'd screwed up again.
当他被拒绝时，这不是第一次，他的家人认为他又搞砸了。
When I got home, everybody was telling me, why didn't you tell them at least that you would?
当我回到家时，每个人都告诉我，你为什么不至少告诉他们你会这么做？
Then you don't have to do it.
那么你就不必这样做。
Everybody was on me.
每个人都在我身上。
And I was not very happy because most of us go at the age of 18, 19, 20, 21.
我不太高兴，因为我们大多数人都是在 18、19、20、21 岁的时候去的。
Most of my friends were married already.
我的大多数朋友都已经结婚了。
Some of them had kids.
他们中的一些人已经有了孩子。
I felt like the blame was on me why I am not married or something like that.
我觉得这一切都怪在我身上，为什么我没有结婚或者类似的事情。
Now to understand what happens next, you have to know that Chaim was the Hasidic version of a rebellious teen.
现在要了解接下来会发生什么，你必须知道哈伊姆是哈西德派的叛逆青少年。
He snuck away to watch an American movie or two, and had recently become a baseball fan.
他偷偷去看了一两部美国电影，最近还成了一名棒球迷。
And on a few occasions when he felt especially hassled by his family, he headed to a bar for a beer, which is what he did this evening.
有几次，当他感到家人特别困扰时，他就会去酒吧喝啤酒，今晚他就是这么做的。
A local bar, called the Right Bank where a man named Billy Campion happened to be performing.
当地一家名为“Right Bank”的酒吧恰好有一位名叫比利·坎皮恩 (Billy Campion) 的男子在那里表演。
Billy was jumping up and down on the bar like a gorilla in a cage bellowing at the top of his lungs playing a guitar.
比利在吧台上跳来跳去，就像一只关在笼子里的大猩猩，弹着吉他，大声吼叫。
Chaim watched and he was amazed.
柴姆看着，他感到很惊讶。
It was just loose.
它只是松动了。
It was just, you know, fly.
这只是，你知道，飞翔。
Everything was rocking.
一切都在摇晃。
He was performing while he was jumping on chairs and throwing all kinds of stuff.
他一边表演一边跳椅子、扔各种东西。
It was cool to see how somebody was so free.
看到有人如此自由真是太酷了。
And that's exactly what I wanted.
这正是我想要的。
I was so tight at that time.
我当时好紧张啊。
I wanted to get loose a little bit.
我想放松一下。
So during the break, I see this very tall, Hasidic guy sitting at the bar, smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer, and watching the baseball game.
所以在休息期间，我看到这个很高的哈西德派家伙坐在酒吧里，抽烟，喝啤酒，看棒球比赛。
This is Billy Campion, known to the world and indie music fans as Vic Thrill.
这是比利·坎皮恩 (Billy Campion)，他被全世界和独立音乐迷称为“维克·斯瑞尔”(Vic Thrill)。
On the night that he was pogoing on the bar, Billy lived a few blocks and several centuries away from Chaim in the other Williamsburg.
比利在酒吧玩游戏的那天晚上，他住在另一个威廉斯堡，距离查姆只有几个街区和几个世纪。
Billy wears space glasses and secondhand tuxedos, and his hair is spot dyed a different color every couple weeks.
比利戴着太空眼镜，穿着二手燕尾服，他的头发每隔几周就会染成不同的颜色。
But he's one of these guys who greets everyone on his block by name, from other scenesters, to cashiers who worked for bodegas.
但他是这样的人之一，他会叫出街区里每个人的名字，从其他场景演员到在酒窖工作的收银员。
So it's bugged him for years that there's this huge population in his neighborhood, the Hasids, whom he knew nothing about and never spoke to.
因此多年来，他一直困扰着他的邻居哈西德家族的庞大人口，而他对他们一无所知，也从未与他们交谈过。
And a few weeks prior to the show at the Right Bank, he decided to do something about it.
在右岸演出前几周，他决定对此做点什么。
I actually asked God if he would introduce me to a Hasidic Jew that wouldn't mind showing me about the culture.
我实际上问上帝是否会将我介绍给一个不介意向我展示其文化的哈西德派犹太人。
I wanted to relate, you know what I mean, to people who seemed so different.
我想与那些看起来如此不同的人建立联系，你知道我的意思。
Yeah.
是的。
I was standing in my place looking out my window.
我站在自己的位置上看着窗外。
It faces south towards the Hasidic community.
它朝南面向哈西德派社区。
And I thought to myself, well, I need to bounce it off a satellite, you know what I mean, to get it over the top of the neighborhood.
我心想，好吧，我需要将它从卫星上反射回来，你知道我的意思，让它飞过附近的顶部。
I figured I had to come in from above to get in there.
我想我必须从上面进来才能进去。
The night at the bar, though, Billy wasn't really thinking about any of that.
然而，在酒吧的那个晚上，比利并没有真正考虑这些。
He just spotted Chaim and introduced himself.
他刚刚发现了 Chaim 并做了自我介绍。
So I started talking to him.
所以我开始和他说话。
And I didn't realize this is a godsend yet, you know.
我还没有意识到这是天赐之物，你知道。
And I was like, how's it going?
我当时想，怎么样？
He's like hey, nice music.
他就像嘿，美妙的音乐。
And I was like, thanks a lot man.
我当时想，非常感谢，伙计。
I was like, you really liked it?
我当时想，你真的喜欢它吗？
I was surprised, you know?
我很惊讶，你知道吗？
I used to also make music, so you know, Hasidic songs.
我以前也制作音乐，所以你知道，哈西德派歌曲。
So when I saw Billy that night, I felt like OK, now I have a connection.
所以当我那天晚上看到比利时，我感觉很好，现在我有了联系。
There was never a Hasid that ever became a rocker.
从来没有一个哈西德成为摇滚歌手。
I was like, I have a recording studio up the street.
我当时想，我在街上有一个录音室。
I would love to have you by some time, you know, if you really want to get these recordings down in a quality way.
如果你真的想以高质量的方式录制这些录音，我很乐意有一天能见到你。
And he's like, oh, maybe I'll take you up on it.
他说，哦，也许我会接受你。
So I gave him my phone number and I forgot about it.
所以我给了他我的电话号码，然后我就忘记了。
My fans didn't really show, I didn't feel, appreciation from my songs.
我的歌迷并没有真正表现出，我也没有感受到，对我的歌曲的欣赏。
My father never gives me a compliment.
我的父亲从来没有称赞过我。
He doesn't even know how to take one.
他甚至不知道如何接受。
He's a very nice guy, my father.
我的父亲，他是一个非常好的人。
But he just doesn't know how to give a compliment.
但他就是不知道如何赞美。
So when I had somebody that I was able to talk to, you know, I was totally for it, for him.
所以当我有一个可以交谈的人时，你知道，我完全支持他。
And the first chance that I had to come to the studio, I snuck in here I was here.
当我第一次有机会来到工作室时，我就偷偷溜进了这里。
I got a phone call one day.
有一天我接到一个电话。
He said yeah, hello.
他说是的，你好。
And I was like, hi.
我当时想，嗨。
He was like, this is Chaim.
他说，这是查姆。
We met down at the bar the other night.
那天晚上我们在酒吧见面。
I wanted to come check out your studio.
我想去看看你的工作室。
So I was like, I would love that.
所以我想，我会喜欢的。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
And he came here and next thing you know, he didn't leave for a year and a half.
他来到这里，接下来你知道，他一年半都没有离开。
The here that Billy's talking about is a converted industrial garage, which served as the apartment, recording studio, prop warehouse, and party headquarters for Billy and a group of his friends.
比利所说的这里是一个由工业车库改建而成的，这里是比利和他的一群朋友的公寓、录音室、道具仓库和派对总部。
They called it the Vic Thrill Salon.
他们称之为维克刺激沙龙。
It's here that Vic Thrill's musical debut, CE-5 was recorded.
Vic Thrill 的音乐首张专辑《CE-5》就是在这里录制的。
And if I can editorialize for a moment, it's really superb, one of the best albums of 2003.
如果我可以稍微评论一下的话，它真的很棒，是 2003 年最好的专辑之一。
Sci-fi pop with lots of hooks, deadpan humor.
科幻流行音乐，充满魅力，面无表情的幽默。
Like Devo, but a little more raw.
与 Devo 类似，但更原始一些。
[VIC THRILL MUSIC PLAYING] The Vic Thrill's Salon is sort of a thrift store version of Andy Warhol's factory.
[VIC THRILL 音乐播放] Vic Thrill 沙龙有点像安迪·沃霍尔工厂的旧货店版本。
In any given moment, musicians with names like Trance Pop Loops or Saturn Missile could be jamming on the couch.
在任何特定时刻，诸如 Trance Pop Loops 或 Saturn Missile 等名字的音乐家都可能在沙发上即兴演奏。
People's with video cameras came and went.
带着摄像机的人来了又走。
Rock and roll manager named Mary Mayhem who dealt cocaine from her purse was a regular.
一位名叫玛丽·梅赫姆（Mary Mayhem）的摇滚乐经理从她的钱包里贩卖可卡因，是这里的常客。
Into this chaos walked Chaim wearing a buttoned up black suit and a rabbinical beard.
哈伊姆走进了这片混乱之中，他穿着一套扣紧的黑色西装，留着拉比式的胡子。
If he'd been searching for the polar opposite of his Hasidic life, he couldn't have done better.
如果他一直在寻找与哈西德派生活截然相反的东西，他不可能做得更好。
But what intrigued him the most, was something found in about just any den in the US.
但最让他感兴趣的是在美国任何一个巢穴中都能发现的东西。
It was the television.
是电视。
He watched everything, everything from like cheesy Aaron Spelling shows to like five straight hours of MTV.
他什么都看，从俗气的 Aaron Spelling 节目到连续五个小时的 MTV。
I would be able stay there about five hours or more.
我可以在那里呆大约五个小时或更长时间。
I would sit here.
我会坐在这里。
I was a heavy smoker.
我是个烟鬼。
I was there for hours just watching, soaking in television.
我在那里呆了几个小时，只是看电视，沉浸在电视中。
His favorite channel, of all the channels he watched, was MTV because of the years he'd spent writing songs in his spare time.
在他观看的所有频道中，他最喜欢的频道是 MTV，因为多年来他在业余时间写歌。
His stuff was mostly biblical prayers set to melodies he made up, sort of like this, his rendering, in Hebrew, of the 23rd Psalm.
他的作品主要是根据他创作的旋律进行的圣经祈祷，有点像他用希伯来语翻译的第 23 篇诗篇。
[CHAIM SINGING] MTV caused Chaim to give up the Old Testament as a muse and starting writing pop in English.
[CHAIM SINGING] MTV 使 Chaim 放弃了以《旧约》为缪斯，开始用英语创作流行音乐。
But the guy was the cultural equivalent of an unfrozen caveman.
但这个家伙在文化上相当于一个未冻住的穴居人。
Everything was new.
一切都是新的。
Nothing had context.
没有什么是有背景的。
You take someone like that and expose him to daily and lethal doses of music television, something strange is bound to happen.
你让这样的人每天都接触致命剂量的音乐电视，一定会发生奇怪的事情。
He would not differentiate between Britney Spears and Eminem.
他不会区分布兰妮·斯皮尔斯和阿姆。
He just thought music.
他只想到音乐。
Like that's good.
就这样就好了。
That's not good.
那不好。
I like that.
我喜欢这样。
I don't like that.
我不喜欢这样。
He didn't yet know anything about genres or what kind of demographic is into that.
他还不知道什么是流派，也不知道该流派属于哪类人群。
He just didn't care.
他只是不在乎。
So he was writing music that went from like very sensitive love songs about the show Pacific Blue .
所以他正在创作一些音乐，这些音乐来自于关于电视剧《太平洋蓝色》的非常敏感的情歌。
[SINGING] Midnight blue, you're so sweet when you come true.
[SINGING] 午夜蓝，当你成真时你是如此甜蜜。
Pacific Blue.
太平洋蓝。
I had this one song.
我有这一首歌。
It goes like this.
事情是这样的。
[SINGING] When I wrap my arms around you I feel your heartbeat.
[唱歌] 当我用双臂拥抱你时，我感觉到你的心跳。
It's a time bomb to explode.
这是一颗随时会爆炸的定时炸弹。
Love is the ammunition.
爱是弹药。
Sparkle, sparkle, beautiful eyes.
闪闪发光，闪闪发光，美丽的眼睛。
Twinkle, twinkle beautiful lips.
闪烁，闪烁美丽的嘴唇。
Warm me, warm me, beautiful body.
温暖我，温暖我，美丽的身体。
Oh you're such a hottie.
哦，你真是个辣妹。
The meal is being served, but you know what's being observed.
饭菜正在上桌，但你知道正在观察什么。
A little touching under the table, whoa, who needs cable?
桌子底下有点触动，哇，谁需要电缆？
And a lot of the stuff doesn't make sense like Welcome to the Millennium .
很多东西都没有意义，比如《欢迎来到千禧年》。
[SINGING] And heals our wounds.
[唱歌] 治愈我们的伤口。
A happiness, I never pretend.
幸福，我从不假装。
The problem was that my lyrics, usually when I did write, because my vocabulary was so small and my English was so poor, it was funny.
问题是我的歌词，通常是在我写的时候，因为我的词汇量很小，而且我的英语很差，所以很有趣。
Like any kid who discovers music for the first time, this guy was blossoming at such an incredible rate of creativity, the most prolific being you've ever seen your life.
就像任何第一次发现音乐的孩子一样，这个家伙的创造力以令人难以置信的速度绽放，这是你一生中见过的最多产的人。
And he's saying to me, he's like, you know, I'm on my way to Yeshiva and I'm singing these melodies on the sidewalk.
他对我说，他就像，你知道，我正在去 Yeshiva 的路上，我在人行道上唱着这些旋律。
And I have these melodies.
我有这些旋律。
And I have these good verbal ideas.
我有这些好的口头想法。
But I go into Yeshiva and I start the class and I forget them And I just need a way to remember these things.
但我进入 Yeshiva 并开始上课，然后我忘记了它们，我只需要一种方法来记住这些事情。
So I said, well, it would be good if you had like a portable cassette player or something like that.
所以我说，好吧，如果你有一个便携式录音机或类似的东西就好了。
But he wasn't going to have one anytime soon.
但他不会很快拥有一个。
And his allowance is small.
而且他的津贴很少。
So I was like, you know what I do in a jam, I call my answering machine.
所以我想，你知道我在堵塞时做什么，我打电话给我的答录机。
And he heard that, man, and that was the solution right there.
他听到了，伙计，这就是解决方案。
And he was like, oh, that's a good idea.
他说，哦，这是个好主意。
Well I find that he doesn't have an answering machine.
我发现他没有答录机。
But, of course, I do.
但是，我当然愿意。
[SINGING] Got no time, got no time to do it.
[唱歌] 没有时间，没有时间这样做。
Got no time, got no time, got no time to do it.
没时间，没时间，没时间。
It got to the point where I couldn't even check my own messages anymore because he was filling my answering machine with new song ideas from pay phones all over the city.
到了我什至无法再查看自己的消息的地步，因为他正在我的答录机中塞满来自全城公用电话的新歌曲创意。
Here's trucks whizzing by in the background.
卡车在背景中呼啸而过。
This guy is like [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
这家伙就像[无法理解]。
That's the keyboard line for the second verse of Midnight Blue .
这是《Midnight Blue》第二节的键盘线。
And then he hangs up the phone.
然后他挂断了电话。
[SINGING] She comes from nowhere.
[唱歌]她不知从何而来。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE].
[难以理解的短语]。
I had become aggravated by him.
我被他激怒了。
Because he was coming around every day for no less than six hours a day and watching TV.
因为他每天至少要呆六个小时看电视。
I said, if I didn't have a TV, would you be coming over here?
我说，如果我没有电视，你会过来吗？
Is it my friendship that you're totally looking for or are you looking to watch some tube here.
您完全在寻找我的友谊，还是想在这里观看一些视频。
All right, all right, I've got to admit it.
好吧好吧，我不得不承认。
A TV, I'm addicted.
看电视我就上瘾了
I'm definitely addicted to the television and I need to do something about it.
我确实对电视上瘾了，我需要对此做点什么。
And he had been pestering me to write music with him.
他一直缠着我和他一起写音乐。
And I kept putting him off and putting him off.
我一直在拖延他。
This guy's a pain in the ass, whatever.
不管怎样，这家伙真是个让人头疼的家伙。
And then it dawned on me.
然后我恍然大悟。
That's when I said, I was like, this is the moment.
就在那时我说，我想，就是现在了。
Yes, I'll definitely write some music with you.
是的，我一定会和你一起写一些音乐。
And I wanted to make it as easy as I could on myself.
我想让自己尽可能轻松地做到这一点。
I just grabbed my guitar.
我刚刚拿起我的吉他。
I said, sing some of those lines to me there.
我说，在那里唱一些歌词给我听。
Welcome to the Millennium was the first song that we ever wrote together.
欢迎来到千禧年是我们一起写的第一首歌。
And I said, sing the first verse to me.
我说，给我唱第一节。
So he's like, OK, here's the first verse.
所以他说，好吧，这是第一节。
The verse is: [SINGING] Here comes the night.
这首诗是： [歌唱] 夜晚来临了。
There is no lights.
没有灯。
It's so dark it looks like the end.
天太黑了，看起来就像是结局一样。
A cold wind blows.
一阵冷风吹来。
A scary noise.
可怕的声音。
A situation I'd never pretend.
这是我永远不会假装的情况。
So I was like, OK, that's the first verse.
所以我想，好吧，这是第一节。
So is that, [SINGING WITH GUITAR] Here comes the night.
所以，[用吉他唱歌] 夜晚来临了。
There is no light.
没有光。
It looks like the sun came down to earth.
看起来就像太阳落到了地球上。
So I just like put chords like directly to the vocal line.
所以我喜欢直接把和弦放在声线上。
And this is like how I proceeded from that point on.
这就是我从那时起的做法。
[SINGING WITH GUITAR] A cold wind blows.
[用吉他唱歌] 冷风吹来。
A scary noise.
可怕的声音。
A situation, I'd never pretend.
这种情况，我绝不会假装。
Welcome to the Millennium.
欢迎来到千禧年。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE] for the Millennium.
[难以理解的短语]千禧年。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE]
[难以理解的短语]
So that's what was happening.
这就是发生的事情。
And then finally I had to start booking shows.
最后我不得不开始预订演出。
The first gig that I got him, the first gig was at this place Joe's Pub, which is like a high profile joint.
我给他带来的第一场演出，第一场演出是在 Joe's Pub 这个地方，那是一个高调的酒吧。
It's like what I would consider to be like a double velvet rope affair.
这就像我认为的双层天鹅绒绳事件。
I mean, you have to be somebody to get into the place.
我的意思是，你必须成为某个人才能进入这个地方。
I mean there's like James Iha, the guitarist from Smashing Pumpkins, standing on line with some kind of supermodel.
我的意思是，像《Smashing Pumpkins》乐队的吉他手 James Iha 一样，与某种超模站在同一行。
These are the kind of people that are standing on line to get in.
这些人都是排队等候入场的人。
On the night the performance, Vic and the band headed onstage in their regular, outlandish gear.
演出当晚，维克和乐队穿着他们常规的、古怪的装备走上舞台。
Chaim is dressed in traditional Hasid clothes, black pants, white shirt, yarmulke.
哈伊姆穿着传统的哈西德服装、黑裤子、白衬衫、戴着圆顶小帽。
He was introduced at the craziest Jew since Goldberg, the professional wrestling star.
他被介绍为自职业摔跤明星戈德堡以来最疯狂的犹太人。
I felt like that scene in Young Frankenstein .
我感觉就像《少年弗兰肯斯坦》中的那个场景。
Ladies and gentlemen, the monster.
女士们先生们，怪物。
And then this guy comes out on stage.
然后这个人就出现在舞台上。
That's what it was like.
事情就是这样。
He came out on stage.
他走上舞台。
People were just like, what the hell is this?
人们就像，这到底是什么？
His performance was like a mixture between Eminem or Snoop Dogg, you know like pointing in people's faces, just the most demonstrative hand gestures you've ever seen in your life.
他的表演就像阿姆（Eminem）或史努比狗狗（Snoop Dogg）的混合体，你知道就像指着人们的脸，只是你一生中见过的最具表现力的手势。
And then throwing kicks up in the air like a Hasidic wedding.
然后像哈西德派婚礼一样向空中踢球。
He's mixing like this Jewish dancing with what he's seen on MTV.
他将犹太舞蹈与他在 MTV 上看到的舞蹈融为一体。
And it was so over the top.
这太夸张了。
At first people were like a dog that had just been shown a card trick.
起初，人们就像一只刚刚被耍了纸牌戏法的狗。
Like people were baffled.
就像人们感到困惑一样。
And then all of a sudden, I was like, ladies and gentlemen, this is a real Hasidic man.
然后突然间，我想，女士们先生们，这是一个真正的哈西德派男人。
And then the place just out of their seats hit the dance floor and went ballistic.
然后，刚离开座位的人就冲进了舞池，爆发了。
They loved it.
他们喜欢它。
They flipped.
他们翻转了。
And he became like an instant star.
他立刻就像明星一样。
He was like this underground star.
他就像这个地下明星。
Coming up, putting the Sabbath back into Black Sabbath.
即将到来，将安息日重新纳入黑色安息日。
The life of an underground Hasidic glam rock star, that's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续时，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将讲述一位地下哈西德派华丽摇滚明星的生活。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来关于该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, My Experimental Phase, stories of people who take on a new identity as a lark and then start to face some serious choices.
今天的节目《我的实验阶段》讲述了人们像百灵鸟一样接受新身份，然后开始面临一些严肃选择的故事。
David Segal's story about Chaim continues.
大卫·西格尔关于柴姆的故事仍在继续。
A warning that they mentioned the existence of sex in a general way in what's about to follow.
警告他们在接下来的内容中以笼统的方式提到了性的存在。
The story at this point, by day, Chaim was a typical young Hasid living with his parents.
故事发生在这一点上，白天，哈伊姆是一个典型的年轻哈西德人，与父母住在一起。
By night, he was on the rock scene, the underground rock scene.
到了晚上，他就在摇滚现场，地下摇滚现场。
Here's David
这是大卫
A typical day went like this.
典型的一天就这样过去了。
He'd get up in the morning, tell his mom and dad he was going to yeshiva, cut class, and head to Billy's.
他早上起床，告诉爸爸妈妈他要去犹太学院，逃课，然后去比利家。
He'd watch TV, eat, talk, hang out, watch more TV, go home for dinner.
他会看电视、吃饭、聊天、闲逛、看更多电视，然后回家吃晚饭。
Then on nights when he was performing, he'd head out again, this time with his concert outfit tucked into a bag.
然后，在他表演的夜晚，他会再次出门，这次将他的音乐会服装塞进包里。
He was really getting into the costumery of what we were doing.
他真的很了解我们正在做的事情。
So the only costumery he had was Purim clothes, which is, you know, the Jewish Halloween basically.
所以他唯一的服装是普珥节服装，你知道，基本上就是犹太万圣节。
They get all dressed up.
他们都盛装打扮。
And so he had all of his Purim clothes.
所以他拥有了所有的普珥节服装。
So that became his gig outfits, like this gold sequined cape with gold tinsel.
这就是他的演出服装，比如这件带有金色金属丝的金色亮片斗篷。
This big almost like Hebrew Flavor Flav style necklace.
这条大几乎像希伯来风味 Flav 风格的项链。
It was like superman style.
这就像超人风格。
He would show up Hasidic with a little bag or something like that.
他会带着一个小包或类似的东西出现在哈西迪克面前。
And then he would go into the bathroom and just transform.
然后他会走进浴室，变身。
He said to me, I need a name.
他对我说，我需要一个名字。
You guys got a name.
你们有名字了
You're Vic Thrill, you got Saturn Missile.
你是维克·斯瑞尔，你有土星导弹。
Everybody needs a name.
每个人都需要一个名字。
So I was thinking about maybe I should have one.
所以我在想也许我应该拥有一个。
I said, that's cool.
我说，那太好了。
Have you thought of anything.
你有没有想到什么。
I thought of a couple.
我想到了一对。
I got this one.
我得到了这个。
I got this one that sounds kind of cool.
我得到了这个听起来很酷的东西。
I was like, what's that?
我当时想，那是什么？
He says, Curly Oxide.
他说，卷曲氧化物。
Curly Oxide.
卷曲氧化物。
It came in to me.
它来到了我的身边。
You know I have payes, curls, curly.
你知道我有头发、卷发、卷发。
And then I wanted something like edgy.
然后我想要一些前卫的东西。
From what I've seen, the culture of music has to be some sort of a little edgy.
据我所知，音乐文化一定是有点前卫的。
Oxide came into me.
氧化物进入了我的体内。
I don't know why.
我不知道为什么。
So, Curly Oxide.
所以，卷曲氧化物。
And I go, that's great.
我就走了，那太好了。
I played down my reaction.
我淡化了自己的反应。
That's great, man.
太好了，伙计。
That's great.
那太棒了。
Why is it great?
为什么它很棒？
He was like already suspicious.
他就像已经开始怀疑了。
Hasids are suspicious, man.
哈西德很可疑，伙计。
They look right through you.
他们看穿你。
Why is that great?
为什么这么棒？
He said, what does it mean?
他说，这是什么意思？
Well curly, you know.
好吧，卷发，你知道。
Yeah, I know what curly means.
是的，我知道卷发是什么意思。
I got the payes.
我收到了工资。
What about oxide?
氧化物呢？
Oxide, oxide is rust.
氧化物，氧化物就是铁锈。
It's like on metal.
就像在金属上一样。
If you leave it out in the rain, it turns orange.
如果你把它放在雨中，它会变成橙色。
I don't know if I like that.
我不知道我是否喜欢这样。
Oxide is oxidation.
氧化物就是氧化。
It's about something undergoing change, a transformation from one thing into another thing.
它是关于事物正在发生变化，从一种事物转变为另一种事物。
I like that.
我喜欢这样。
I like the sound of that.
我喜欢那个声音。
Because I'm undergoing a transformation.
因为我正在经历转变。
I am undergoing a transformation into Curly Oxide.
我正在经历向卷曲氧化物的转变。
[CURLY OXIDE MUSIC PLAYING] David Segal So then you began performing pretty regularly with him?
[CURLY OXIDE 音乐播放] David Segal 那么你开始经常和他一起表演？
Did he get a reputation?
他获得了声誉吗？
Did people find out about him?
人们发现他了吗？
Oh yeah, yeah.
哦，是的，是的。
He would perform then regularly down at the Right Bank.
然后他会定期在右岸表演。
And then we would have him come up and play for the bigger Vic Thrill shows, Mercury Lounge, Bowery Ballroom, the WestBeth Theater when that was still around.
然后我们会让他上来为更大的 Vic Thrill 演出、Mercury Lounge、Bowery Ballroom、WestBeth Theatre（当这些演出还在时）演出。
And people loved it.
人们喜欢它。
[CURLY OXIDE MUSIC PLAYING] David Segal This is Curly Oxide on a typical night at the Right Bank in a video recorded for the Vic Thrill Salon.
[CURLY OXIDE 音乐播放] David Segal 这是 Curly Oxide 在右岸一个典型的夜晚为 Vic Thrill Salon 录制的视频。
The Right Bank is a cramped little club without a stage.
右岸是一个狭窄的小俱乐部，没有舞台。
The crowd gawks and dances.
人群目瞪口呆，手舞足蹈。
And Curly holds the microphone with both hands like someone's going to try to steal it from him.
卷毛用双手握住麦克风，就像有人会试图从他手中偷走麦克风一样。
On nights like this, women occasionally threw their underwear at him.
在这样的夜晚，偶尔会有女人向他扔内裤。
He had a song at a club jukebox.
他在俱乐部点唱机里唱了一首歌。
He'd become a local phenomenon.
他已经成为当地的现象级人物。
He stood out and at the same time began to fit in.
他脱颖而出，同时开始融入。
I witnessed an accelerated adolescence with this guy.
我和这个家伙一起见证了青春期的加速。
In the course of a year and a half, I watched the guy go from 13 to 20 years old.
一年半的时间里，我看着他从13岁变成了20岁。
Deep inside a lot of people have, I would call, the beast of within.
很多人的内心深处都有，我称之为内心的野兽。
When you see sometimes people get drunk [UNINTELLIGIBLE], there's a moment that now they can be what they really want to be and nobody will accuse them of being that image.
当你看到有时人们喝醉时[难以理解]，有那么一刻，他们现在可以成为他们真正想成为的人，没有人会指责他们是那样的形象。
They would just do it.
他们只会这么做。
They would just be like crazy and throwing stuff.
他们会疯狂地扔东西。
I would be insane.
我会疯掉的。
I would like doing certain sounds and stuff and dancing.
我想做一些声音和舞蹈。
I felt like doing whatever I intend on doing and nobody can stop me, and being appreciated for it.
我想做任何我想做的事情，没有人可以阻止我，并因此而受到赞赏。
Was it satisfying?
满意吗？
Chaim Absolutely.
柴姆 绝对。
Hell yeah.
是啊。
He inspired everybody.
他激励了所有人。
He lit a fire under everybody's ass in this place.
他在这个地方每个人的屁股下点燃了一把火。
He was so unafraid.
他是那么无所畏惧。
And I think you envied that.
我想你很羡慕这一点。
He hadn't been told yet that he was going too far in any way.
到目前为止，他还没有被告知他在任何方面都走得太远了。
And I think that a lot of people over the course of their lives, if you started at 13 years old, you may have been burned by some extremes here and there.
我认为很多人在他们的一生中，如果你从13岁开始，你可能会被一些极端的情况所困扰。
And he hadn't been.
但他没有。
And these are all little horses that we fail to get back on when we've been hurt.
这些都是我们受伤后无法重新骑上的小马。
And he hadn't experienced that yet.
而他还没有经历过这种事。
And it definitely caused me to get back on some horses and not be so embarrassed and self conscious about the way I performed.
这确实让我重新站起来，不再对自己的表现感到尴尬和难为情。
But the life of a Hasidic rocker has some built-in complications.
但哈西德派摇滚歌手的生活有一些内在的复杂性。
Chaim dreamed about singing Welcome to the Millennium for a crowd of millions in Times Square on New Year's Eve of 2000.
哈伊姆梦想在 2000 年除夕夜为时代广场上的数百万人演唱《欢迎来到千禧年》。
But he dropped that plan when he realized the date fell on the Sabbath when work was out of the question.
但当他意识到日期恰逢安息日，无法工作时，他就放弃了这个计划。
For a while, for more than a year in fact, he nurtured Curly Oxide.
有一段时间，实际上是一年多的时间，他培育了卷曲氧化物。
But he was a Hasid too.
但他也是哈西德派。
And he knew he couldn't be both people for very long.
他知道他不可能同时做两个人太久。
He began dropping hints to his parents about his secret life.
他开始向父母暗示他的秘密生活。
And he got sloppy about concealing the evidence of his alter ego.
他也草率地隐瞒了他另一个自我的证据。
His mother found lyrics in English that he left lying around.
他的母亲发现了他散落在各处的英文歌词。
His father found a fan letter in the pocket of his pants.
他的父亲在他的裤子口袋里发现了一封粉丝的信。
Plus he was coming home later and later, 3:00, 4:00, 5:00 in the morning.
而且他回家的时间越来越晚，凌晨 3:00、4:00、5:00。
Sometimes his parents would be up waiting for him, distraught.
有时他的父母会心烦意乱地起来等他。
My parents were like, you're killing me.
我的父母说，你要杀了我。
You make me have a heart attack.
你让我心脏病发作。
It's not good for you.
这对你不好。
You're going to regret it.
你会后悔的。
They tried to talk because they knew they couldn't go on in a strict way.
他们试图交谈，因为他们知道他们不能以严格的方式继续下去。
Because they knew that any strict thing then do, I'm out.
因为他们知道，如果再做任何严格的事情，我就会出局。
My dad wouldn't say anything.
我爸爸不会说什么。
I would just dump myself into the bed.
我只想把自己扔到床上。
It would bother me.
这会让我很烦恼。
What am I doing.
我在做什么呢。
I would try to turn them off against those feelings.
我会试着让他们抵制这些感觉。
[UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE].
[难以理解的短语]。
I started to actually get phone calls here.
我开始在这里接到电话。
I had caller ID and I saw his last name on it.
我有来电显示，我在上面看到了他的姓氏。
And he was here.
他就在这里。
And I was like, wow.
我当时想，哇。
I guess it's just started.
我想一切才刚刚开始。
Because I've seen Hasids go down to the Right Bank and pull Hasids out of there saying, you shouldn't be in there.
因为我看到哈西德派走到右岸，把哈西德派从那里拉出来，说，你不应该在那里。
And then argue with the people in there, non-Hasidic people arguing on behalf of the guy who was in there.
然后与那里的人争论，非哈西德派人士代表那里的人争论。
And they say, you stay out of this.
他们说，你别插手这件事。
Stay out of this.
远离此事。
This is none of your business.
这不关你的事。
And I felt like, uh oh, this is about to happen with me.
我感觉，哦，这即将发生在我身上。
Chaim's parents never confronted Vic.
哈伊姆的父母从未与维克对质过。
But they weren't about to lose their son without a fight.
但他们不会不战而屈人之兵。
They began a massive hunt to find Chaim a wife as quickly as possible.
他们开始大规模寻找，尽快为哈伊姆找到一位妻子。
They called everyone they knew, took recommendations from relatives.
他们给所有认识的人打电话，听取亲戚的推荐。
They networked with matchmakers.
他们与媒人建立了联系。
But Chaim was inching further and further away.
但查姆却离他越来越远。
He'd saved up some money.
他存了一些钱。
He was taking bartending classes.
他正在参加调酒课程。
He had an exit strategy.
他有一个退出策略。
Basically, the race was under way.
基本上，比赛已经开始了。
His parents were trying to find him a wife before he actually left into the secular world for good.
在他真正离开俗世之前，他的父母试图给他找个妻子。
Oddly enough, the secular world seemed to be rooting for his parents.
奇怪的是，世俗世界似乎都在支持他的父母。
The one point he was going to cut the curls.
他要剪掉卷发的那一点。
He told me, he wanted to move in with me and he wanted to cut the curls.
他告诉我，他想搬来和我一起住，他想剪掉卷发。
Jokingly, but with serious undertones, I said, if you cut the curls you're out of the band.
我开玩笑地说，但语气很严肃，如果你剪掉卷发，你就被排除在乐队之外。
I was like, I'm telling you man, if you cut the curls, we have no act.
我当时想，我告诉你，伙计，如果你剪掉卷发，我们就没有行动了。
That's what I'm saying to you.
这就是我要对你说的。
Do you know what I'm saying?
你知道我在说什么吗？
As the managerial type, as the music business type, the talent manager, I was mainly worried that the act was going to lose its luster if he became like us, and that it was going to turn to bad music.
作为管理类型，作为音乐业务类型，人才经理，我主要担心如果他变得像我们一样，这个表演就会失去光彩，并且会变成糟糕的音乐。
And the innocence, I think another big thing is that the innocence would be lost.
至于纯真，我认为另一件大事是纯真将会消失。
And the innocence is where he was creating from.
纯真正是他创作的源泉。
I just didn't want him to cross over entirely.
我只是不想让他完全穿越。
I didn't want to be responsible for that.
我不想为此负责。
I could have gotten him on Howard Stern.
我本可以让他出演霍华德·斯特恩。
Stern would have eaten that up.
斯特恩会把它吃掉的。
Part of me, like a selfish part of me, would have liked to have seen that.
我的一部分，就像我自私的一部分一样，希望看到这一点。
Stardom, of being a character, he was a prime candidate for that.
作为明星，作为一个角色，他是一个主要的候选人。
But I didn't want to.
但我不想。
I've heard that if a Hasid decides to cut the curls and leave the sect, I think they sit shiva actually.
我听说如果哈西德派决定剪掉卷发并离开教派，我认为他们实际上是湿婆神。
I think the parents sit shiva as if he's dead.
我认为湿婆的父母坐着，就好像他死了一样。
So I didn't want to be the arch enemy of his family.
所以我不想成为他家人的死敌。
Chaim, as it happens, had reservations of his own about abandoning the Hasidic world.
碰巧的是，哈伊姆对于放弃哈西德派世界也持保留态度。
I was very torn.
我很伤心。
I was just torn.
我只是被撕裂了。
All along I knew that what I was doing was not in line with my upbringing, with the Hasidic way, with the Torah way of life.
我一直都知道我所做的事情不符合我的成长经历、哈西德派的方式、托拉的生活方式。
So I knew that I wasn't doing something right.
所以我知道我没有做正确的事情。
But I liked it.
但我喜欢它。
And I felt that I was accepted.
我觉得我被接受了。
So I had these two paths.
所以我有这两条路。
And I said, I can't choose.
我说，我无法选择。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I love both.
我两个都喜欢。
As he said at one time, my parents are desperately trying to find me a wife.
正如他有一次所说，我的父母正在拼命地想给我找个妻子。
And I really want a record deal.
我真的很想要一份唱片合约。
But if they find me a wife first or if I get a record deal, it's God's will.
但如果他们先给我找个妻子，或者我得到唱片合约，那就是上帝的旨意。
And I'm going to do that.
我就要这么做。
A record deal or a wife.
唱片合约或妻子。
If Chaim thought the choice was in the hand's of the Lord, he'd underestimated his mother, who called him one night while Chaim was in Manhattan getting ready for a show.
如果哈伊姆认为选择权掌握在上帝手中，那么他就低估了他的母亲，一天晚上，当哈伊姆在曼哈顿准备一场演出时，母亲给他打电话。
A certain young lady would be at a certain wedding that evening, she told them.
她告诉他们，那天晚上一位年轻女士将参加一场婚礼。
Maybe Chaim could swing by and take a look.
也许哈伊姆可以过来看看。
At first he said no, and begged offed with a few excuses.
起初他拒绝了，并找了一些借口请求离开。
But his mother then sounded so sad.
但他的母亲听起来很悲伤。
He felt a wave of guilt and reconsidered.
他感到一阵愧疚，重新考虑了一下。
Chaim changed back into his Hasidic clothes and went to the wedding, where he eventually got a quick glance at this young lady from a distance in a parking lot.
哈伊姆换回哈西德派的衣服去参加婚礼，最终他在停车场远远地瞥了一眼这位年轻的女士。
Chaim was not impressed.
柴姆没有留下深刻的印象。
I was like, for this they made me again come.
我想，为此他们让我再次来到这里。
OK, another bust.
好吧，又一个半身像。
So I went home.
于是我回家了。
I said, for this?
我说，为了这个？
Next time before you send me somewhere get information on what we're talking about.
下次你送我去某个地方之前先了解一下我们正在谈论的内容。
So I went back down to the basement.
于是我又回到了地下室。
I got back dressed.
我穿好衣服回来了。
And I went to perform that night until 4 o'clock in the morning.
那天晚上我就去表演到凌晨四点。
But the girl felt differently.
但女孩却有不同的感觉。
It turned out that she liked him.
原来她喜欢他。
And that softened him just a little, enough to get Chaim to agree to a date, a Hasidic date in her living room surrounded by family.
这让他稍微软化了一点，足以让哈伊姆同意约会，在她的客厅里与家人一起进行哈西德派约会。
My parents were sitting in the kitchen and there was no door.
我的父母坐在厨房里，没有门。
And I felt totally uncomfortable.
我感到完全不舒服。
They were talking about for maybe 45 minutes.
他们谈论了大约 45 分钟。
Right.
正确的。
There's not too much to converse.
没有太多可聊的。
You went to the yeshiva.
你去了犹太学院。
And when do you want the kids?
你什么时候想要孩子？
And what do you want your kids to go to the yeshiva, and to which yeshiva?
您希望您的孩子去哪所犹太学院？去哪所犹太学院？
Because there's like all kinds of yeshivas and stuff.
因为那里有各种各样的犹太学校之类的东西。
I wasn't crazy over it.
我并没有为此疯狂。
Because I was in a totally different world at that time.
因为那时我处于一个完全不同的世界。
Obviously I was Curly Oxide.
显然我是卷曲氧化物。
And all of a sudden I'm put on back into this other personality.
突然之间，我又变回了另一种性格。
I was totally two different persons.
我完全是两个不同的人。
The matchmaker goes in and talks to my mother and says, they want to finish it, tell me the girl wants me.
媒婆进去跟我妈妈说，他们想完成这件事，告诉我那个女孩想要我。
That was it.
就是这样。
I'm married.
我已结婚。
I have two beautiful children.
我有两个漂亮的孩子。
Now wait a second, wait a second.
现在等一下，等一下。
Let's back up.
让我们备份一下。
It was that quick?
有那么快吗？
Yeah.
是的。
We spoke Saturday night.
我们星期六晚上聊过。
And we became engaged.
我们订婚了。
There was an engagement party the next day.
第二天有一个订婚派对。
They were indeed married three months later.
三个月后，他们果然结婚了。
This might sound incredibly fast, but in the Hasidic tradition no one marries for love.
这听起来可能快得令人难以置信，但在哈西德传统中，没有人是为了爱情而结婚的。
That comes later hopefully.
希望稍后会出现。
And Chaim had spent far more energy dreaming about the Billboard Charts than about being a husband, even in the back of his mind that a day of surrender was probably inevitable.
哈伊姆花了更多的精力梦想广告牌排行榜，而不是成为一名丈夫，即使在他内心深处，投降的一天可能是不可避免的。
And that it meant returning fully to the fold.
这意味着完全回归。
No more rock star, no more carousing, the end of the beast within.
不再有摇滚明星，不再狂欢，内心野兽的终结。
But you knew that you were killing Curly Oxide at that moment you agreed to get married?
但你知道在你同意结婚的那一刻你正在杀死卷发氧化物吗？
I knew that this character is going down, yeah.
我知道这个角色正在走向衰落，是的。
We knew that it was just like a show.
我们知道这就像一场表演。
We knew that the show is going to be up.
我们知道演出即将结束。
And then there's going to be time to close it.
然后就会有时间关闭它。
Were you sad that that show's going to be over?
这部剧就要结束了，你感到难过吗？
I can put myself back in the moment, and I didn't think-- because my whole life can tumbling, because these two years, it was like so shaky.
我可以让自己回到当下，我没有想到——因为我的整个人生都会翻滚，因为这两年，它就像是那么摇摇欲坠。
All of a sudden, OK, I came back.
突然，好吧，我回来了。
They're like, oh, you you are normal.
他们就像，哦，你很正常。
You are getting married like everybody else.
你和其他人一样要结婚了。
And I couldn't think.
我无法思考。
I didn't even realize what was happening.
我什至没有意识到发生了什么。
Billy, for his part, was kind of relieved too.
就比利而言，他也松了口气。
And now having chaperoned Chaim through his world, he wanted at last to get a glimpse at Chaim's, which would be tricky.
现在，他已经陪伴着哈伊姆穿越了他的世界，他最终想看一眼哈伊姆的世界，但这将是一件棘手的事情。
You know, the toughest part of the whole thing was that he wasn't going to be able to invite me to the wedding.
你知道，整件事中最困难的部分是他无法邀请我参加婚礼。
Because non-Hasidics are not allowed at the wedding?
因为非哈西德派教徒不允许参加婚礼？
Absolutely not.
绝对不是。
But we found a solution to that.
但我们找到了解决方案。
We found a loophole to that soon enough, which was he hired Cass, Chris Cassidy, who was our videographer at the Vic Thrill's Salon, to film his wedding with me as the assistant.
我们很快就发现了一个漏洞，那就是他聘请了卡斯克里斯·卡西迪（Chris Cassidy）来拍摄他的婚礼，我是他的助理，克里斯·卡西迪是我们在维克刺激沙龙的摄影师。
At the time, I had a green mohawk which I had to stuff under a hat.
当时，我留着绿色的莫西干发型，必须把它塞在帽子下面。
A yarmulke would not have concealed this thing.
圆顶小帽不会隐瞒这件事。
So we went in there and we shot the wedding.
所以我们就进去拍摄了婚礼。
And the wedding, that was really like the third stage on the divine gift of his friendship was to witness a Hasidic wedding.
婚礼，就像他友谊的神圣礼物的第三阶段，是见证哈西德派婚礼。
It was like nothing I had ever seen in my life, the fact that we got to see them married under the tent.
我们看到他们在帐篷下结婚，这是我一生中从未见过的事情。
It just seemed like such an ancient ceremony too, the ritual of it with her walking around him and the constant prayer that was going on.
这似乎也是一个古老的仪式，她围着他走，不断地祈祷。
I really felt like the love for these two, and how important it was that everybody gather around them and pray all together.
我真的感受到了对这两个人的爱，每个人都聚集在他们周围并一起祈祷是多么重要。
And then going into the building to watch them run down the hallway.
然后走进大楼，看着他们沿着走廊奔跑。
And he's smiling.
他在微笑。
And I'm like, this is my old buddy man, he's smiling at me.
我想，这是我的老朋友，他正在对我微笑。
I didn't realize that this was the turning point.
我没有意识到这是一个转折点。
They turned off into a room.
他们拐进一个房间。
And that's where they go to consummate the marriage.
这就是他们去完善婚姻的地方。
A small room, I think, with a bed in it.
我想，这是一个小房间，里面有一张床。
And everybody just eats out in the hall, out in the dining hall, which has a partition down the middle of it.
每个人都在大厅、餐厅吃饭，餐厅中间有一个隔断。
And the men are on one side and the women are on the other side.
男人在一侧，女人在另一侧。
So we had to leave the hall at that point when they had gone to the room.
因此，当他们去房间时，我们不得不离开大厅。
And we were invited back in when they were being carried out on the chairs.
当他们被抬到椅子上时，我们被邀请回来。
And they placed down in their separate rooms there.
他们在那里各自的房间里住了下来。
And they have to dance with everybody in the room.
他们必须和房间里的每个人一起跳舞。
He danced with hundreds of guys.
他和数百名男子一起跳舞。
I mean, it's incredible, the energy that you have to put out on your wedding night if you're Hasidic is just incredible.
我的意思是，这太不可思议了，如果你是哈西德派，你在新婚之夜必须付出的精力简直令人难以置信。
Now his father had suspected something of me.
现在他父亲对我产生了怀疑。
Because a few of the Hasidic guys at the wedding had winked at me and come up and elbowed me.
因为婚礼上的几个哈西德派家伙向我眨了眨眼，然后上前用肘击了我。
They knew me from the legend of Curly Oxide.
他们是从卷曲氧化物的传说中认识我的。
Several of them had gone down to the Right Bank because his song was on the jukebox.
他们中的一些人已经去了右岸，因为点唱机上有他的歌。
They heard about that.
他们听说了这件事。
And so this guy was like a legend in his neighborhood.
所以这个家伙就像是他附近的一个传奇人物。
And they were coming up to me.
他们向我走来。
And I think the father saw some of this going on.
我认为父亲看到了其中的一些情况。
And he would give me what I call the skunk eye every once in a while.
他时不时就会给我看我所谓的“臭鼬眼”。
He gave me like this hairy eyeball.
他给了我这个毛茸茸的眼球。
And I zoomed in on him every time he'd do that.
每次他这么做的时候我都会放大他的镜头。
So I had this up close footage of the hairy eyeball from his father.
所以我近距离拍摄了他父亲毛茸茸的眼球的镜头。
It was incredible.
这太不可思议了。
At the very end of the whole thing, I walked up to him.
整个事情结束时，我走到他身边。
Because everybody was shaking his hand at that point.
因为当时每个人都在握手。
And Cass shook his hand.
卡斯握了握手。
And I walk up and I shook his hand like a total stranger.
我走上前，像陌生人一样握着他的手。
And we had zero energy transferred between us in the old way.
我们之间以旧方式传输的能量为零。
You know, we really blocked it off.
你知道，我们真的封锁了它。
Congratulations man, she seems like a beautiful bride.
恭喜你，伙计，她看起来像个美丽的新娘。
And that was it.
就是这样。
And we had a big laugh boy, afterwards though when he showed up here.
后来当他出现在这里时，我们都笑得很开心。
I mean we laughed for like half an hour over this whole thing.
我的意思是我们为这整件事笑了大约半个小时。
Years after that half hour laugh, Billy Campion is touring at Vic Thrill playing shows around New York and throughout Europe.
在那场半小时的笑声多年后，比利·坎皮恩 (Billy Campion) 正在 Vic Thrill 巡回演出，在纽约和整个欧洲进行演出。
If you ever catch his act, you'll witness a guy as antic as anyone you'll ever see on stage.
如果你看过他的表演，你就会看到一个和你在舞台上见过的人一样滑稽的人。
Pager on vibrate is how one observer put it.
一位观察家这样评价振动寻呼机。
The unembarrassable style owes a little something to Curly Oxide.
这种毫不尴尬的风格有点归功于 Curly Oxide。
In the months after the wedding, every once in awhile, Billy and Chaim would get together just to catch up.
婚礼后的几个月里，比利和柴姆时不时地聚在一起聊聊天。
But almost immediately, Chaim and his family moved an hour upstate.
但几乎立刻，哈伊姆和他的家人就搬到了北部一小时的地方。
Now he doesn't see Billy much.
现在他很少见到比利了。
In part he relocated to avoid the temptations of his old ways.
他搬迁的部分原因是为了避免旧方式的诱惑。
Then again, he doesn't sound like a man on the verge of a back slide.
话又说回来，他听起来并不像是一个濒临倒退的人。
I didn't even want to think of missing it, because I'm missing it.
我什至不想去想念它，因为我正在想念它。
Meaning I'm not there, so why even go there to feel missing it.
意思是我不在那里，那为什么还要去那里感到想念呢。
You blank out.
你一片空白。
You try.
你试试。
You blank yourself out.
你把自己放空了。
I mean, I know that I can't have.
我的意思是，我知道我不能拥有。
But you know what I would like over there.
但你知道我想要在那里做什么。
And I like my life now.
我喜欢我现在的生活。
And I would lose everything going back.
如果回去的话我会失去一切。
There's too much to lose.
失去的东西太多了。
And I know that I can't have it.
我知道我不能拥有它。
So I wouldn't even touch that.
所以我什至不会碰那个。
Does your wife know that you had this other life as Curly Oxide.
你的妻子知道你曾经以“卷曲氧化物”的身份过着另一种生活吗？
Yes, she actually does.
是的，她确实这么做了。
I told him.
我告诉他。
I actually regret telling it.
我其实很后悔说出这件事。
Because let me tell you, if don't know if you guys are married.
因为让我告诉你，如果不知道你们是否结婚了。
But anybody that is married, do not tell you wife your past, especially your troubled past, I mean the stuff that you did, your mischief past.
但是任何已婚的人，不要告诉你的妻子你的过去，尤其是你麻烦的过去，我的意思是你所做的事情，你恶作剧的过去。
I asked Chaim, would he tell his son if the boy announced one day if he wanted to sing in a rock band.
我问查姆，如果有一天他的儿子宣布他想在一支摇滚乐队中唱歌，他会告诉他吗？
Chaim almost frowned.
柴姆几乎皱起了眉头。
I'd tell him to sing something traditional, he said, and songs that are Yiddish.
他说，我会让他唱一些传统的歌曲，以及意第绪语的歌曲。
As for Curly Oxide, there's hardly a trace of his career anywhere.
至于 Curly Oxide，几乎找不到他职业生涯的痕迹。
He never released a CD.
他从未发行过 CD。
And last year the Right Bank closed.
去年右岸关闭了。
And that unplugged the only jukebox in the world where you could hear his music.
然后拔掉了世界上唯一一个可以听到他的音乐的点唱机。
David Segal is a staff writer for the Washington Post .
大卫·西格尔是《华盛顿邮报》的特约撰稿人。
He also has a website, www.jewsrock.org.
他还有一个网站：www.jewsrock.org。
[MUSIC - "CE-5" BY VIC THRILL]
[音乐 - VIC THRILL 的“CE-5”]
Act Two, Miami Vices.
第二幕，迈阿密恶习。
This next story was recorded as a live stage show in Los Angeles called Mortified, in which everyday people stand up on stage and read from their own teenage diaries.
下一个故事是在洛杉矶录制的一场名为“Mortified”的现场舞台表演，其中每天的人们都站在舞台上阅读自己的青少年日记。
One person took the stage one night with Sascha Rothchild.
一天晚上，一个人与萨沙·罗斯柴尔德一起登上舞台。
A quick warning for sensitive listeners, that she mentions all kinds of fooling around with teenage boys in what follows.
对敏感听众的一个快速警告是，她在下文中提到了与十几岁男孩的各种鬼混行为。
Hi everybody.
大家好。
My name is Sascha.
我叫萨沙。
And to give you a little background, I grew up in a very upper class, Jewish household in Miami Beach.
给你一些背景知识，我在迈阿密海滩的一个非常上层的犹太家庭长大。
And I went to elementary school.
我上小学了。
For elementary school, I went to private school.
小学时，我去了私立学校。
And I hated it because the kids were really mean to me.
我讨厌这样，因为孩子们对我真的很刻薄。
So I really wanted to go to public school for junior high, and my parents let me.
所以我很想去公立学校读初中，我的父母也同意了。
And this is what happened when I went to public school.
这就是我上公立学校时发生的事情。
And I'm 13 here.
我在这里13岁。
A lot happened today.
今天发生了很多事。
I made out five times with Jose Pola.
我和何塞·波拉亲热过五次。
He said, I kiss like a rich girl.
他说，我吻得像个富家女。
He had the longest tongue.
他有最长的舌头。
I really like his best friend, Carlos.
我真的很喜欢他最好的朋友卡洛斯。
I think Carlos likes me.
我觉得卡洛斯喜欢我。
Jose and I are just good friends.
何塞和我只是好朋友。
But we fool around because we think each other is hot.
但我们却互相闲聊，因为我们觉得对方很性感。
I'm reading The Diary of Anne Frank.
我正在读《安妮·弗兰克日记》。
It really means a lot to me.
这对我来说真的意义重大。
First of all, I'm Jewish and that means a lot to me.
首先，我是犹太人，这对我来说意义重大。
Also, I recently got you and started writing in you.
另外，我最近得到了你并开始写你的文章。
The Diary of Anne Frank has really inspired me.
安妮·弗兰克的日记确实给了我很大的启发。
Anyway, Carlos and I finally made out.
不管怎样，卡洛斯和我终于和好了。
Jessica is being a bitch.
杰西卡就是个婊子。
After I was with Carlos, I spent some time with Tyrone, Treyant and Tyrell.
和卡洛斯在一起之后，我和蒂龙、特雷安特和泰瑞尔一起度过了一段时间。
I love them.
我爱他们。
I like black boys much more than white boys.
比起白人男孩，我更喜欢黑人男孩。
They're more fun.
他们更有趣。
It gets worse.
情况变得更糟。
So much has happened.
发生了这么多事情。
I went to a big party at Gira's house.
我去吉拉家参加了一个大型聚会。
The party was awesome.
聚会棒极了。
I got completely drunk and started talking to these older guys who had beer.
我喝得酩酊大醉，开始和这些喝啤酒的老家伙说话。
They gave me a lot.
他们给了我很多。
The older guys liked me and they wanted my phone number.
年长的人喜欢我，他们想要我的电话号码。
I gave it to them.
我把它给了他们。
I'm worried though.
不过我很担心。
I'm turning into a bad girl.
我正在变成一个坏女孩。
My grades are dropping, I'm drinking a lot, I'm lying, et cetera.
我的成绩在下降，我喝了很多酒，我撒谎等等。
I don't want to tell Diego and Shane I'm only 13, but I also don't want to get raped or anything.
我不想告诉迭戈和肖恩我只有 13 岁，但我也不想被强奸或其他什么。
I don't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办。
I think I'm going to lose my virginity very soon.
我想我很快就会失去童贞。
The scary thing is is that I'm having so much fun.
可怕的是我玩得很开心。
So many guys like me.
这么多男人喜欢我。
I'm so [BLEEP] popular.
我太受欢迎了。
My mind and body are 17, but I'm only 13.
我的思想和身体都17岁，但我只有13岁。
P.S.
附：
I have grown so much inside in the past few months.
在过去的几个月里，我的内心成长了很多。
Hey, what's up or down?
嘿，什么是上升或下降？
I put the arrows up or down.
我将箭头向上或向下。
Well, things are totally up with me.
好吧，事情完全由我决定。
Helder and I are going out.
赫尔德和我要出去。
I like him so much.
我非常喜欢他。
He's so cool, nice, funny, caring, sensitive, and [BLEEP] fine.
他很酷、很好、很有趣、很有爱心、很敏感，而且[BLEEP]很好。
He has such a nice body.
他有这么好的身体。
In the movie, Helder and I made out a lot and we went to second over the shirt.
在电影中，赫尔德和我亲热了很多次，我们在球衣上获得了第二名。
It wasn't a big deal.
这没什么大不了的。
Later dude.
后来老兄。
I wrote later dude literally.
我后来写了老兄的字面意思。
OK, a lot happened.
好吧，发生了很多事情。
First of all, Helder and I broke up yesterday.
首先，赫尔德和我昨天分手了。
I dumped him, in parentheses.
我把他甩了，括号里。
The day after we went out, and went to his house and we were in bed naked together.
第二天我们出去，去了他家，我们赤身裸体地躺在床上。
Don't ask me how that happened.
不要问我这是怎么发生的。
I wouldn't sleep with him and I think he got mad.
我不会和他一起睡，我想他生气了。
Since then, it seemed all Helder wanted was to have sex with me.
从那时起，赫尔德似乎只想和我发生性关系。
I broke up with him six days after we went out.
我们出去六天后我就和他分手了。
Aye, literally aye-- because I'm hanging out with Cubans-- so I'm trying to understand how to speak Spanish.
是的，字面上是的——因为我和古巴人一起出去玩——所以我试图了解如何说西班牙语。
Well a lot of [BLEEP] [BLEEP] has happened.
嗯，发生了很多[BLEEP] [BLEEP]。
I have been getting drunk and stoned everyday.
我每天都喝得醉醺醺的。
Also, Diego and I broke up.
另外，迭戈和我分手了。
I didn't mind that he was a drug dealer, but it just wasn't working out anyway.
我并不介意他是个毒贩，但无论如何这都是行不通的。
Anna and I aren't friends anymore.
安娜和我不再是朋友了。
Cricket and I are very good friends.
我和蟋蟀是很好的朋友。
And last but not least I'm going out with Antonio.
最后但并非最不重要的一点是我要和安东尼奥约会。
We have been together for nine days.
我们已经在一起九天了。
I really like him.
我真的很喜欢他。
I'm planning on sleeping with him.
我正打算和他一起睡呢。
Oh, and I tried cocaine.
哦，我尝试了可卡因。
It's the coolest [BLEEP] thing on earth.
这是地球上最酷的[BLEEP]事情。
I think I'm addicted.
我想我上瘾了。
Oh well.
那好吧。
And the downfall continues.
而且衰落还在继续。
Antonio and I got into our first big fight last night.
昨晚，安东尼奥和我第一次大吵一架。
What a temper!
脾气多大啊！
We made up though.
不过我们和好了。
I like the way he makes me feel.
我喜欢他给我的感觉。
I'm the woman and should be kept in my place.
我是女人，应该留在我的位置上。
Of course he is a Cuban.
当然，他是古巴人。
Well, I got to go change my tampon.
好吧，我得去换卫生棉条了。
At least I'm not pregnant yet.
至少我还没有怀孕。
What's up, yo-- literally in the diary, what's up yo?
怎么了，哟——字面意思是日记里的，你怎么了？
I have done flake five times today.
我今天已经做了五次薄片了。
For those of you who don't know, flake is a pseudonym for cocaine if you're not cool.
对于那些不知道的人来说，如果你不酷的话，“薄片”是可卡因的化名。
I have done flake five times today.
我今天已经做了五次薄片了。
I loved all of them.
我喜欢他们所有人。
I'm not doing any more, for now at least.
至少现在我不会再做任何事了。
I like it too much.
我太喜欢了。
The high is worth the low.
高的值得低的。
I'm also trying to stop smoking pot.
我也在努力戒烟。
I'm getting really burnt.
我真的快被烧焦了。
Instead I'm smoking cigarettes and shoplifting.
相反，我抽烟和入店行窃。
I love it.
我喜欢它。
I get such a head rush.
我感到很头晕。
Today I stole three pairs of underwear, one bra, and two shirts.
今天我偷了三件内衣、一件胸罩和两件衬衫。
It was too easy.
这太容易了。
We're nearing the end.
我们已经接近尾声了。
Oh my god.
我的天啊。
It has to stop.
它必须停止。
It all has to stop.
这一切都必须停止。
I'm going to change my life around.
我要改变我的生活。
I snorted two huge bumps and then I came down hard, real hard.
我猛地吸了两口气，然后重重地摔了下来，真的重重的。
The high isn't worth the low anymore.
高的已经不值得低的了。
I have to stop hanging out with these people.
我必须停止和这些人在一起。
I'm going to [BLEEP] up my life.
我要[BLEEP]提升我的生活。
I'm scared, really scared.
我很害怕，真的很害怕。
OK, this is a month later.
好吧，这是一个月后的事了。
Hi, I'm still alive and not pregnant yet.
你好，我还活着，还没有怀孕。
I broke up with Antonio and I'm going to NA.
我和安东尼奥分手了，我要去北美了。
I've been off cocaine and pot since October 2.
自 10 月 2 日起我就不再吸食可卡因和大麻了。
I'm doing really good.
我做得真的很好。
I'm still having fun without totally going crazy.
我仍然很开心，没有完全发疯。
I think I'm going to sleep with Jason.
我想我要和杰森一起睡。
I really want to because he's so hot and he thinks I'm hot.
我真的很想，因为他太性感了，而且他也认为我很性感。
so many people do.
很多人都这样做。
I'm so popular and scandalous.
我是如此受欢迎和可耻。
I'm leaving out so many details that I hope I don't forget.
我遗漏了很多细节，希望我不会忘记。
But my hand would hurt if I wrote them all down.
但如果我把它们全部写下来，我的手会受伤。
It's time for a new diary, but this one will always be most memorable.
是时候写一本新日记了，但这一篇永远是最难忘的。
Later dude.
后来老兄。
[APPLAUSE] Ira Glass Sascha Rothchild is still not pregnant.
[掌声] Ira Glass Sascha Rothchild 仍未怀孕。
She graduated from high school drug free and with honors.
她以优异的成绩从高中毕业，没有吸毒。
She's now married, a writer living in Los Angeles.
她现已结婚，是一名住在洛杉矶的作家。
She was recorded at a show called Mortified.
她在一个名为 Mortified 的节目中被录制。
Thanks to David Nadelberg who runs the show.
感谢主持该节目的大卫·纳德伯格。
More info at www.getmortified.com.
更多信息请访问 www.getmortified.com。
Credits Ira Glass Our program was produced today by Jane Feltes and myself with Alex Blumberg, Diane Cook, Sarah Koenig, and Lisa Pollak.
图片来源：Ira Glass 我们的节目今天由 Jane Feltes 和我本人以及 Alex Blumberg、Diane Cook、Sarah Koenig 和 Lisa Pollak 制作。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Elizabeth Meister runs our website.
伊丽莎白·梅斯特 (Elizabeth Meister) 负责运营我们的网站。
Production help from Todd Bachmann and Will [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
托德·巴赫曼 (Todd Bachmann) 和威尔 (Will) 为制作提供帮助 [难以理解]。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
[致谢]《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight for our program by Mr. Torey Malatia who can be heard at bars all over Chicago walking up to young people and saying--
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理部门由 Torey Malatia 先生对我们的项目进行监督，在芝加哥各地的酒吧里都能听到他走到年轻人面前说——
I have a recording studio up the street.
我在街上有一个录音室。
I would love to have you by some time if you really want to get these recordings down, you know what I mean, in a quality way?
如果您真的想以高质量的方式录制这些录音，我很乐意在某个时间与您会面，您知道我的意思吗？
Hey, worked on me.
嘿，对我有用。
Back next week with more quality recordings of This American Life .
下周将带着更多高质量的《This American Life》录音回归。
[MUSIC] Announcer PRI, Public Radio International.
[音乐] 国际公共广播电台 PRI 播音员。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。