264: Special Treatment - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #264 | May 7, 2004 264: Special Treatment Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 264 集 | 2004 年 5 月 7 日 264：特殊处理 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Everyone in the family agrees.
序言 Ira Glass 家里的每个人都同意。
Edie's the youngest, and so she gets more attention.
伊迪是最小的，所以她得到了更多的关注。
She gets more stuff.
她得到了更多的东西。
Ayla, her 15-year-old sister, puts it this way.
她 15 岁的妹妹艾拉 (Ayla) 是这样说的。
She's spoiled.
她被宠坏了。
For her birthday last year, she got a scooter, you know, one of those high-tech things, and then I got a CD.
去年她生日时，她得到了一辆踏板车，你知道，这是一种高科技产品，然后我得到了一张 CD。
And my parents were like, yeah, well, you know, you'll be getting a car soon.
我的父母说，是的，好吧，你知道，你很快就会拥有一辆车。
But she'll get a car sometime, too, and-- yeah.
但她有时也会买一辆车，而且——是的。
Even Edie sees it this way.
就连伊迪也这么认为。
One of our producers, Jane Feltes, is their cousin, and Jane got this out of the 10-year-old under tough, tough questioning.
我们的制片人之一简·费尔特斯 (Jane Feltes) 是他们的表弟，简在严厉的质问下从这个 10 岁的孩子那里得到了这个。
You or your sister, who gets treated better?
你和你的妹妹，谁受到更好的待遇？
Ayla.
艾拉。
Jane Feltes But who gets a worse punishment?
Jane Feltes 但谁受到的惩罚更严重呢？
Ayla.
艾拉。
Kathy Edie gets more attention.
凯西·伊迪受到更多关注。
Edie gets more stuff, but she gets smaller stuff.
伊迪得到的东西更多，但她得到的东西更小。
This is Kathy, their mom.
这是凯西，他们的妈妈。
Kathy Well, you want to treat them exactly the same, but that's hard to do because they're so different.
凯西：嗯，你想以完全相同的方式对待他们，但这很难做到，因为他们是如此不同。
Every kid is different, and with my two kids, they are totally opposite of each other.
每个孩子都是不同的，对于我的两个孩子来说，他们是完全相反的。
I mean, you do try to be fair, but you do treat them different.
我的意思是，你确实试图公平，但你确实以不同的方式对待他们。
And you know, that's just the way it is.
你知道，事情就是这样。
I don't know how else to say it.
我不知道还能怎么说。
You know, you don't really hear a positive word about favoritism very often.
你知道，你并不经常听到关于偏袒的积极言论。
Most of us think that parents are supposed to treat all their kids exactly the same.
我们大多数人都认为父母应该一视同仁地对待所有的孩子。
But the fact is, sometimes it just doesn't matter.
但事实是，有时这并不重要。
I think what we're finding is what's more important than equal treatment is kids' perceptions about what they're getting.
我认为我们发现比平等待遇更重要的是孩子们对他们所得到的东西的看法。
That's Amanda Kowal.
那是阿曼达·科瓦尔。
She co-authored a study of 300 kids in 135 families, where they asked everyone in the families questions like, is one child favored over the other?
她与人合着了一项针对 135 个家庭的 300 个孩子的研究，他们向家庭中的每个人询问了一些问题，例如，一个孩子是否比另一个孩子更受青睐？
Who gets praised more?
谁更受称赞？
Who are the parents stricter with?
父母对谁更严厉？
And OK, let's just start with the big news first, America.
好吧，让我们先从大新闻开始，美国。
We are not giving equal treatment to our kids.
我们没有给予我们的孩子平等的待遇。
Very few kids actually said their parents were exactly equal in every aspect.
很少有孩子真正说他们的父母在各个方面都是完全平等的。
Out of 300?
满分300？
Amanda Kowal Out of about 300 that said, in every instance it was exactly equal.
阿曼达·科瓦尔 (Amanda Kowal) 在大约 300 人中，每一次的情况都完全相等。
And all the others said-- Amanda Kowal Most kids were able to think of a way that their parents did treat them differently.
其他人都说——阿曼达·科瓦尔 大多数孩子都能想出父母对待他们不同的方式。
But here's the other news flash.
但这是另一则新闻快报。
Most kids didn't care.
大多数孩子并不关心。
70%-- 70, seven, zero, 70% of the time-- when a kid said they or their sibling got praised more or punished more or whatever, they said it pretty much made sense to them.
70%——70%、7%、0%、70%——当一个孩子说他们或他们的兄弟姐妹受到更多的表扬或更多的惩罚或其他什么时，他们说这对他们来说很有意义。
It pretty much seemed fair.
这看起来很公平。
Most kids think differential treatment is fair, whether or not they're benefiting or their siblings are benefiting.
大多数孩子认为差别待遇是公平的，无论他们自己或他们的兄弟姐妹是否受益。
I think one of the most compelling reasons was when they felt that their sibling needed differential treatment or that they did.
我认为最令人信服的原因之一是当他们觉得他们的兄弟姐妹需要差别待遇或者他们确实需要差别待遇时。
For example, one child said that his sibling didn't have very many friends, and he felt very sorry for him.
例如，一个孩子说他的兄弟姐妹没有很多朋友，他感到很对不起他。
So it made a lot of sense to him that his parents would spend more time with this sibling.
因此，他的父母花更多时间陪伴这个兄弟姐妹对他来说很有意义。
If one child is older than another, he may have more chores.
如果一个孩子比另一个孩子大，他可能会承担更多的家务。
He may have a later curfew.
他可能会推迟宵禁。
He may also be punished more, potentially, because he has the ability to maybe get into more dangerous situations.
他也可能受到更多的惩罚，因为他有能力陷入更危险的境地。
She's driving now, so mom may punish her more when she makes mistakes or gets in trouble because she's more worried about her.
她现在开车了，所以当她犯错或遇到麻烦时，妈妈可能会更严厉地惩罚她，因为她更担心她。
So it's important that it's fair.
所以公平很重要。
It's not important that it's equal.
是否相等并不重要。
Exactly.
确切地。
And I guess the basis of it is that each child feels they're getting what they need and what they want.
我想其基础是每个孩子都觉得他们得到了他们需要的和他们想要的。
Which brings us back to Edie and her big sister Ayla.
这让我们回到了伊迪和她的姐姐艾拉。
Ayla says it doesn't matter to her that she gets in trouble more and that Edie gets more stuff.
艾拉说，她遇到更多麻烦以及伊迪得到更多东西对她来说并不重要。
Ayla's got band and band camp and choir.
艾拉有乐队、乐队营和合唱团。
She loves school.
她热爱学校。
She loves reading.
她喜欢读书。
Edie needs more attention from their parents, Ayla says.
艾拉说，伊迪需要父母更多的关注。
So she can have it.
这样她就可以拥有了。
Like most of the kids in that study, Ayla understands why the two of them are treated differently.
和该研究中的大多数孩子一样，艾拉理解为什么他们两个受到不同的对待。
And she is fine with it.
她对此很满意。
Well, I don't want them to treat us exactly the same or anything because everybody's different.
好吧，我不希望他们对我们一视同仁，因为每个人都是不同的。
And I understand the whole age difference thing.
我理解整个年龄差异的事情。
I'm at that age where you gotta watch out, I guess.
我想我已经到了这个年纪了，你必须要小心。
Just troublemaker teenagers.
只是一群惹事生非的青少年。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
Today in our program, in defense of special treatment here in the land of the free, the place where all men are created equal, and all kids.
今天，在我们的节目中，捍卫自由之地的特殊待遇，在这里，所有男人和所有孩子都生而平等。
We have stories of when some people should be treated more equally than others.
我们有这样的故事：某些人应该比其他人受到更平等的对待。
Our show in four acts today.
我们今天的演出有四幕。
Act One, Lunchtime with the King of Ketchup.
第一幕，与番茄酱之王共进午餐。
In that act, Jonathan Goldstein stands up for one man's right to be treated differently than you have ever been treated by waiters, store owners, and takeout delivery guys of every race, creed, and religion.
在该法案中，乔纳森·戈德斯坦（Jonathan Goldstein）捍卫了一个人受到不同种族、不同信仰和宗教的服务员、店主和外卖送货员所受到的不同对待的权利。
Act Two, Except for that One Problem, It's Perfect.
第二幕，除了那个问题，很完美。
In that act, we hear the story of a woman who is solving something that has plagued prisons for years.
在那一幕中，我们听到了一位女性正在解决困扰监狱多年的问题的故事。
And the only thing wrong with her solution is prison guards hate it.
她的解决方案唯一的问题是狱警讨厌它。
Act Three, Mommy's Psychic Helper.
第三幕，妈妈的心灵帮手。
One woman gives special treatment to her two kids based on a horoscope given to them at birth.
一名妇女根据她的两个孩子出生时的星座给予特殊对待。
Act Four, The Way to a Boy's Heart Is Through His Stomach.
第四幕，抓住男孩的心是通过他的胃。
In that act, a nine-year-old who never eats, and what that does to everyone around him.
在那一幕中，一个从不吃东西的九岁孩子，以及这对他周围的每个人的影响。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Lunchtime With The King Of Ketchup.
第一幕，与番茄酱之王的午餐时间。
And now the story of a man with a simple mission in life, to give a little special treatment to a group of people whose contribution to society is often overlooked, the men and women of the food service industry, who, when they meet this guy, tend to give him a little special treatment in return.
现在的故事是一个男人的人生使命很简单，他要给一群对社会的贡献经常被忽视的人一点特殊的待遇，餐饮服务行业的男男女女，当他们遇到这个人时，往往会给予他一点特殊的待遇作为回报。
Jonathan Goldstein tells the tale.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦讲述了这个故事。
Howard Chackowicz and I have been friends since we were kids, and so I can say with great authority that almost every day for the past 10 years, Howard Chackowicz has either dined out or ordered in at least one of his meals.
霍华德·查科维奇和我从小就是朋友，所以我可以很有权威地说，过去 10 年里，霍华德·查科维奇几乎每天都在外面吃饭，或者至少点了一顿饭。
Sometimes when Howard isn't sure what he's in the mood for, he'll lift an empty hand up to his mouth and pretend that he's eating.
有时，当霍华德不确定自己想吃什么时，他会举起一只空手放在嘴边，假装自己正在吃东西。
He stares straight ahead, trying to figure out if he likes the taste of the imaginary food he is shoving into his mouth.
他直视前方，试图弄清楚自己是否喜欢塞进嘴里的想象中的食物的味道。
Sometimes his hand is holding a hamburger, sometimes a fork wrapped in spaghetti, and other times, he's double-fisting either end of an invisible pork rib.
有时他的手拿着一个汉堡包，有时是一把裹着意大利面的叉子，还有的时候，他用双拳握住一根看不见的排骨的两端。
Howard's always loved restaurants.
霍华德一直很喜欢餐馆。
He was raised in a Jewish Eastern European household, where the very idea of a restaurant was a ridiculous piece of decadence, something for Cossacks and cocaine addicts who enjoyed flushing their money down the toilet.
他在东欧的一个犹太家庭长大，在那里，开餐馆的想法本身就是一种荒唐可笑的颓废行为，对于喜欢把钱冲进马桶的哥萨克和可卡因成瘾者来说是这样的。
Restaurants had a transgressive allure, and as soon as Howard was old enough, he started sneaking away to them after school or sometimes on weekends while the whole family was still asleep.
餐馆有一种越轨的诱惑力，霍华德一长大，他就开始在放学后或有时在周末全家人都还在睡觉时偷偷溜去餐馆。
In fact, Howard was the very first person I've ever dined out with alone without any family.
事实上，霍华德是我第一个在没有家人陪伴的情况下单独出去吃饭的人。
We were 12 years old, and we ate at Atomics Pizzeria, a place just down the street from us.
那年我们 12 岁，我们在 Atomics Pizzeria 吃饭，那家店就在我们的街对面。
It was owned by a crotchety, old Greek man named Costa, who served ridiculously large portions of food.
它的主人是一位脾气暴躁的希腊老人，名叫科斯塔，他提供的食物份量大得离谱。
We'd get a plate of fries the size of a dead Shetland pony, but right alongside of it, Costa would place one measly packet of ketchup.
我们会得到一盘像死去的设得兰小马那么大的薯条，但在旁边，科斯塔会放一小包番茄酱。
When we asked for more, he looked at us like we had just asked for more blood from his mother's still-beating heart.
当我们要求更多时，他看着我们，就像我们刚刚向他母亲仍在跳动的心脏索要更多的血液一样。
Whereas I learned to ration, eating 400 to 500 French fries with a bottle-cap-sized dollop, Howard learned how to talk to Costa, how to win him over, how to make him see that giving us more ketchup was just the right thing to do.
我学会了配给，用瓶盖大小的一块吃 400 到 500 份炸薯条，霍华德学会了如何与科斯塔交谈，如何赢得他的支持，如何让他明白给我们更多的番茄酱是正确的做法。
Along the way, Howard learned how to say in Greek, "Thank you, kind sir.
一路上，霍华德学会了如何用希腊语说：“谢谢您，善良的先生。
Bless you for the ketchup," as well as the excellent [SPEAKING GREEK], "Here's many years to your ketchup."
祝福你的番茄酱，”以及出色的[说希腊语]，“你的番茄酱已经很多年了。”
Ever since way back then, Howard has had a very special rapport with the men and women of the food service industry, and he has worked very hard over the years to cultivate this relationship.
从那时起，霍华德就与食品服务行业的男男女女建立了非常特殊的关系，多年来他一直努力培养这种关系。
This is my neighborhood here.
这是我这里的邻居。
I've been to every single restaurant in this neighborhood several times, so I feel like I can comment on every restaurant.
我已经去过这个街区的每家餐厅好几次了，所以我觉得我可以对每家餐厅发表评论。
A couple of weeks ago, Howard took me on a walking tour of the best places to eat in his neighborhood.
几周前，霍华德带我步行参观了他附近最好的餐厅。
I've walked into bakeries with Howard where the young girls and old men alike who worked there have dropped their doughnut tongs to cry out with joy, Howard!
我和霍华德一起走进面包店，在那里工作的年轻女孩和老人都放下甜甜圈钳，高兴地喊道，霍华德！
I've watched him get moved to the front of the line outside restaurants in Chinatown.
我见过他在唐人街的餐馆外排到队伍的前面。
When he's relating to a waiter or a delivery man, all that Howard sees is one person giving another person food.
当霍华德与服务员或送货员打交道时，他看到的只是一个人给另一个人送食物。
He talks to them as though they're friends, brothers even.
他和他们交谈就像他们是朋友，甚至兄弟一样。
His servers are able to sense his purity of vision, and they bestow on him in every exchange some little bit of special treatment.
他的服务器能够感受到他视野的纯净，每次交流都会给予他一点特殊的待遇。
Let me show you a ghost here.
让我给你看一下这里的鬼魂。
On the corner, there was a place called-- I'm not sure what that was.
在拐角处，有一个地方叫——我不知道那是什么。
That used to called Le Defi, which is "The Challenge," and that was a really great place.
那曾经被称为 Le Defi，意思是“挑战”，那真是一个很棒的地方。
And then they closed, and they moved right across the street, and they had $1.99 spaghetti meal.
然后他们关门了，他们就搬到了街对面，他们吃了 1.99 美元的意大利面。
I would go there every day, and I brought a lot of friends.
我每天都会去那里，而且还带了很多朋友。
But it got to the point where, when I came in, I was actually able to serve myself.
但当我进来时，我实际上已经能够为自己服务了。
That's how close we got.
我们就这样接近了。
We'd go in.
我们就进去了。
They'd greet me, and they wouldn't even get up.
他们会跟我打招呼，但他们甚至都没有起身。
I would go, and I would pour myself coffee, and I would actually serve other people coffee.
我会去，我会给自己倒咖啡，我也会为其他人提供咖啡。
I'd say,"More coffee, sir?" At first, it was a novelty.
我会说：“先生，再来点咖啡吗？”起初，这很新鲜。
Then they got very used it.
然后他们就非常习惯了。
They actually liked it.
他们实际上很喜欢它。
The other funny thing is, too, one time they actually let me make toast and stuff there, so make some of my food.
另一件有趣的事情是，有一次他们真的让我在那里做吐司和其他东西，所以做一些我的食物。
That's actually a true story.
这实际上是一个真实的故事。
Like, you wanna go in here?
比如说，你想进去吗？
This is my friend.
这是我的朋友。
This is my friend Tino.
这是我的朋友蒂诺。
This is Chez Vito.
这是维托之家。
It's a great butcher shop, an Italian butcher shop.
这是一家很棒的肉店，一家意大利肉店。
Howard takes me inside and makes the rounds, saying hi to everyone, even craning his head into the kitchen in the back so as not to snub a soul.
霍华德带我进去巡视，向每个人打招呼，甚至把头伸进后面的厨房，以免冷落任何一个人。
Hello.
你好。
Jonathan Goldstein When he's done, he stops at the cash to buy a few things, and the owner throws a small box of cookies into his bag.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦（Jonathan Goldstein）完成后，他停下来买了一些东西，店主将一小盒饼干扔进了他的包里。
He says they're on the house.
他说他们在房子里。
All right, what just happened is that Tino's given me a free box of Lazzaroni Saronno, which I've never even had before.
好吧，刚刚发生的事情是 Tino 给了我一盒免费的 Lazzaroni Saronno，这是我以前从未喝过的。
So Tino's saying that I'm nice, but he is the nicest.
所以蒂诺说我很好，但他是最好的。
These guys are the nicest, and that's why I say Chez Vito's the best butcher shop.
这些人是最好的，这就是为什么我说 Chez Vito 是最好的肉店。
I haven't gotten free cookies from a bakery since I was maybe eight years old, and that probably wasn't achieved without the use of fake tears.
从我八岁起，我就没有从面包店得到免费的饼干了，如果不使用假眼泪，这可能是不可能实现的。
It pays to be Howard.
成为霍华德是值得的。
He always gets a little something extra.
他总是能得到一些额外的东西。
In fact, Howard is such a beloved figure in the neighborhood that whenever our friend Tucker goes in to get takeout from Sarah's, a local Middle Eastern restaurant, he'll tell whoever is serving him that, in fact, the food was not for him, but that he was picking it up for Howard.
事实上，霍华德在附近是一位深受爱戴的人物，每当我们的朋友塔克去当地一家中东餐厅莎拉餐厅买外卖时，他都会告诉为他服务的人，事实上，食物不是给他的，而是他为霍华德买的。
This earned him portions that were almost twice as large as what he'd normally get.
这为他赢得了几乎是平时两倍的份量。
"Howard, he is the best man," his server would say, as he piled food onto his plate.
“霍华德，他是最好的人，”当他把食物堆到盘子里时，服务员会说。
"You are so lucky to have a friend like Howard." Indeed, he was.
“有霍华德这样的朋友，你真是太幸运了。”确实，他是。
But the funny thing is that Howard is so doted upon when he eats in restaurants that sometimes it makes it difficult for him to just sit back and enjoy his meal.
但有趣的是，霍华德在餐馆吃饭时非常受宠，有时让他很难坐下来享受美食。
He feels he has to balance things out, and so he dotes right back.
他觉得自己必须平衡一切，所以他马上回报以宠爱。
Because of that, it can be hard to carry on a conversation with him.
因此，与他进行对话可能很困难。
His eyes will nervously scan the restaurant for any way he can be of help to the waiting staff.
他的眼睛会紧张地扫视餐厅，寻找能为服务员提供帮助的方法。
Howard's ears can detect the muted clink of cutlery falling to the carpet from clear across the room.
霍华德的耳朵可以听到房间另一端餐具掉落到地毯上的静音叮当声。
And when he does, he'll do a kind of concerned gym-coach trot over to the mishandled piece of silverware and pluck it up off the floor.
当他这样做时，他会像体操教练一样担心地小跑到那件处理不当的银器面前，把它从地板上捡起来。
So as much as Howard loves restaurants, when he really wants to relax, he'll get home delivery.
因此，尽管霍华德很喜欢餐馆，但当他真正想放松时，他会选择送货上门。
And since it was nearing lunch time, rather than step into one of the many restaurants we were passing, Howard ushered us back in the direction of his house to dial out for our grub.
由于已接近午餐时间，霍华德没有走进我们路过的众多餐馆之一，而是带我们回到他家的方向，出去买食物。
At his place, he pulled open his top kitchen drawer, and I saw the many choices that lay before us.
在他的住处，他打开厨房最上面的抽屉，我看到摆在我们面前的许多选择。
I wouldn't say that's 400.
我不会说是400。
I'd love to count it.
我很想数一下。
I'd say if this handful is about 10-- 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70--
我会说如果这一把大约是10——10、20、30、40、50、60、70——
As much as restaurant owners and waiters love Howard, it's delivery men who really, really love him.
尽管餐馆老板和服务员都很喜欢霍华德，但送货员也非常非常喜欢他。
I mean, who among us even knows their delivery man's name?
我的意思是，我们当中谁知道送货员的名字？
Howard knows their names and the names of their wives and children.
霍华德知道他们的名字以及他们妻子和孩子的名字。
When they come to his door, he invites them in and offers them water.
当他们来到他家门口时，他邀请他们进来并给他们提供水。
And in return, they'll actually call Howard later on to see if his meal was to his liking, that it was warm enough, that there was enough ketchup.
作为回报，他们稍后会打电话给霍华德，看看他的饭菜是否合他的胃口，是否足够温暖，是否有足够的番茄酱。
190, 200-- this is very embarrassing-- 210, 220, 230, about 250 menus in here.
190、200——这很尴尬——210、220、230、大约250个菜单在这里。
There are some doubles, for sure, or even multiple copies, but only of restaurants I order from all the time.
当然，有一些双份，甚至多份，但仅限于我一直点的餐厅。
We decide to order from Howard's favorite restaurant, a souvlaki place called The Greek Village.
我们决定从霍华德最喜欢的餐厅——一家名为“希腊村”的烤肉店点餐。
I'm going to take a Number 10, the two-gyro pita.
我要选 10 号，即两陀螺皮塔饼。
And I think that's it.
我想就是这样。
Thanks, have a nice day.
谢谢，祝你有美好的一天。
While we wait for the food, Howard waves me over and opens his kitchen cupboard to reveal physical proof of his good standing with the service industry.
当我们等待食物时，霍华德向我招手，打开他的厨房橱柜，展示他在服务行业良好信誉的实物证据。
Here we go.
开始了。
These are all bags of ketchup, salt, soy sauce.
这些都是一袋袋番茄酱、盐、酱油。
And this is all from takeout?
而且这都是外卖的？
Howard Chackowicz Yeah.
霍华德·查科维奇 是的。
And these are like big bags full of nothing but ketchup?
这些就像大袋子，除了番茄酱什么都没有？
Ah, there's some soy sauce.
啊，还有酱油呢。
Jonathan Goldstein So gone are the days where you had to wheedle out a single packet out of Costa's hands for your French fries?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 必须从科斯塔手中骗取一包炸薯条的日子已经一去不复返了吗？
It's true that I have so much now, you know.
确实，我现在拥有这么多，你知道。
I have so many packets here.
我这里有很多包。
But no matter how many packets I amass, it will never catch up to what I missed as a child: ketchup.
但无论我收集了多少包，它都永远赶不上我小时候错过的东西：番茄酱。
[KNOCK ON THE DOOR] Jonathan Goldstein Then, with vaudeville timing, our delivery arrives.
[敲门]乔纳森·戈德斯坦 然后，随着歌舞杂耍的时间，我们的货到了。
Hey, Shamir!
嘿，沙米尔！
Jonathan Goldstein Howard greets the delivery man like an old friend he hasn't seen in quite some time.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦·霍华德像一位许久未见的老朋友一样向送货员打招呼。
Thanks so much, man.
非常感谢，伙计。
Shamir Your friend, he's a beautiful man.
沙米尔 你的朋友，他是一个美丽的男人。
He's such a nice man, I'm telling you.
我告诉你，他是个好人。
I didn't get you in trouble, though, right?
不过我并没有给你带来麻烦，对吧？
The best customer in Montreal I have.
我在蒙特利尔拥有的最好的客户。
Each time I come, he give me apple.
每次我来，他都会给我苹果。
He give me a juice.
他给我一杯果汁。
He give me everything.
他给了我一切。
When I order in, like most people, I figure these guys want out of my house as badly as a bird that's accidentally flown in down the chimney, and I assist in their passage, usually having the exact change with a tip all ready for them at the door.
当我点餐时，像大多数人一样，我认为这些人就像一只不小心从烟囱飞进来的小鸟一样急切地想离开我的房子，我会协助他们通过，通常会在门口为他们准备好零钱和小费。
But at Howard's house, delivery men stay a long time.
但在霍华德家里，送货员却待了很长时间。
They seem to want to.
他们似乎想要这么做。
Yeah, so Marvin's not working there any more?
是啊，所以马文不再在那里工作了？
No, because I think he find some other job.
不，因为我认为他找到了其他工作。
Oh, OK, OK.
哦，好吧，好吧。
Actually, I feel so bad.
事实上，我感觉很糟糕。
When I call, I want to ask for Shamir.
当我打电话时，我想找沙米尔。
I feel like, well, we don't know who you're going to get.
我觉得，好吧，我们不知道你会找谁。
I know, but I don't want to get you in trouble.
我知道，但我不想给你带来麻烦。
After about 10 minutes of this, I just want to eat.
大约10分钟后，我只想吃饭。
I find myself eyeing the bag of souvlaki lying on the floor like a campground bear.
我发现自己像一只露营地的熊一样盯着地上的一袋烤肉串。
I realize then that I'm just not made of the same stuff as Howard.
然后我意识到我和霍华德不是同一类人。
And I never will be.
我永远不会。
I can't offer you something?
我不能给你一些东西吗？
Shamir No. Thank you very much.
沙米尔 不，非常感谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
So thank you--
所以谢谢你——
Thank you so much, Shamir.
非常感谢你，沙米尔。
I thank you, man.
我谢谢你，伙计。
I thank you, Howard.
我谢谢你，霍华德。
Howard Chackowicz Thank you for your kindness.
霍华德·查科维奇 谢谢你的好意。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Howard Chackowicz You're the best.
霍华德·查科维奇 你是最棒的。
It's the best restaurant with the best guy.
这是最好的餐厅，有最好的人。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Howard Chackowicz Yeah, you're very kind.
Howard Chackowicz 是的，你非常友善。
Thank you for your time today, Shamir.
感谢您今天抽出时间，沙米尔。
See you later, man.
稍后见，伙计。
Thanks, Shamir.
谢谢，沙米尔。
He's such a good guy.
他真是个好人。
When we finally sit down to eat, I can't even get Howard to admit that he's doing anything so special with guys like Shamir.
当我们最终坐下来吃饭时，我什至无法让霍华德承认他正在与像沙米尔这样的人一起做一些如此特别的事情。
We go back and forth on this.
我们在这个问题上反复讨论。
Yeah, because, I mean, most people won't go to the extent that you do, which is why you have guys that work the telephone coming by your house to meet you.
是的，因为，我的意思是，大多数人不会达到你那样的程度，这就是为什么你会有打电话的人到你家来见你。
That probably doesn't happen that often.
这种情况可能不会经常发生。
Well, I really believe I don't really do anything.
好吧，我真的相信我什么也没做。
I'm nice to them.
我对他们很好。
But, I mean, just empirically, you have to see at this point that you're getting responded to differently than most people, so there must be something different, no?
但是，我的意思是，仅凭经验，你必须看到此时你得到的反应与大多数人不同，所以一定有不同的东西，不是吗？
You know, if someone's going to come to my door more than a few times and they know my face and they're saying how are you, I'm going to start treating that person like a human being.
你知道，如果有人多次来我家门口，他们认得我的脸，并且说你好吗，我会开始像对待人一样对待那个人。
And most people I think are probably rude to them.
我认为大多数人可能对他们很粗鲁。
Like, most people that I know give delivery men a buck, and I think that they have a harder job than a waiter or a waitress, because here's a guy who takes your food, gets into a car, risks his life, goes into traffic--
就像，我认识的大多数人都给送货员一块钱，我认为他们的工作比服务员更辛苦，因为这个人会拿走你的食物，上车，冒着生命危险，陷入交通堵塞——
Oh, you know, he's driving a car, you know?
哦，你知道，他正在开车，你知道吗？
Howard's worked all kinds of food service jobs himself, as a waiter, a bus boy, a short order cook.
霍华德本人从事过各种餐饮服务工作，包括服务员、公交车服务员、快餐厨师。
And he says that, as a result, he absolutely loathes the feeling of being served.
他说，因此，他绝对讨厌被服务的感觉。
There's something that just feels embarrassing and unnatural about it.
这让人感觉很尴尬和不自然。
But it even goes further than that.
但它甚至比这更进一步。
In his interactions with the service industry, he's looking for a particular feeling, a kind of cozy moment where he can palpably sense that the waiter has forgotten that he is a waiter and that they are both simply relating as human beings.
在与服务行业的互动中，他正在寻找一种特殊的感觉，一种舒适的时刻，他可以明显感觉到服务员已经忘记了他是一名服务员，而他们只是作为人而相处。
And then, once he knows this, once he knows they're both getting along and everyone's happy, he can move on.
然后，一旦他知道这一点，一旦他知道他们相处融洽并且每个人都很高兴，他就可以继续前进。
He isn't looking for anything else from them.
他并没有从他们身上寻找任何其他东西。
His motives are pure that way.
他的动机就很纯粹。
But these kinds of special moments don't come without strings attached, and sometimes Howard gets into trouble.
但这些特殊时刻并不是没有附加条件的，有时霍华德也会遇到麻烦。
Earlier in the day, during our walking tour, there was one place we didn't stop into, a little convenience store around the corner.
当天早些时候，在我们徒步旅行期间，有一个地方我们没有停下来，那就是拐角处的一家小便利店。
Howard became uncharacteristically somber and quiet as we walked by the storefront window.
当我们走过店面橱窗时，霍华德变得一反常态地忧郁而安静。
The owners, a Greek woman in her 60s named Vula, and her older sister, used to be pretty friendly with him.
店主是一位 60 多岁的希腊妇女，名叫 Vula，她和她的姐姐过去对他非常友好。
Sometimes Vula wouldn't charge him the tax on his chocolate bar, and on occasion, she'd have him sit behind the counter with her on a plastic milk crate.
有时，乌拉不会向他的巧克力棒征税，有时，她会让他和她一起坐在柜台后面的塑料牛奶箱上。
It wasn't much, but it was still more than what the other customers got, and it made Howard feel special.
虽然不多，但仍然比其他顾客得到的要多，这让霍华德感到很特别。
But then, at a certain point, things started to get more intense.
但后来，到了某个时刻，事情开始变得更加激烈。
There had been several holdups there by knife point, gunpoint, and I felt really bad for them.
那里发生过几次持刀、枪口的抢劫，我为他们感到非常难过。
I'd see them really shook up.
我看到他们真的很震惊。
And they're kind of tough ladies, but they're alone.
她们都是坚强的女士，但她们很孤独。
And I told them, I said, if you ever need anything, if there's any trouble or something, I'm just around the corner.
我告诉他们，我说，如果你们需要任何东西，如果有任何麻烦或什么事情，我就在拐角处。
You give me a call.
你给我打电话。
And I really meant it like in case of emergency or, you know, just that there'd be someone they can call, like some kind of community-- some kind of effort at community.
我的意思是在紧急情况下，或者，你知道，只是他们可以打电话给某个人，比如某种社区——某种社区的努力。
But she would call every day.
但她每天都会打电话。
She would call him for all kinds of reasons, to have him come by and fix things or to run errands for her, and he would try his best to be accommodating.
她会因为各种各样的原因给他打电话，让他过来修理东西或者帮她跑腿，而他会尽力表现得通融。
She'd even call him just to chat.
她甚至会给他打电话只是为了聊天。
Even though all of this was more than Howard could shoulder, he was reluctant to put an end to it.
尽管这一切超出了霍华德的承受能力，但他却不愿意结束。
It was only after the calls got later into the night at 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning that Howard's friends started insisting he tell her that enough was enough.
直到深夜凌晨 1:00 和凌晨 2:00 接到电话后，霍华德的朋友才开始坚持让他告诉她，够了够了。
And against his better judgment, he did so.
他违背了自己更好的判断，还是这么做了。
Howard wonders if it was right to give her his number in the first place.
霍华德想知道一开始把他的电话号码给她是否正确。
I made that offer, assuming that it would be understood that there's a cutoff point.
我提出这个提议，假设人们会理解有一个截止点。
But to another person, you know, that offer is a real genuine offer.
但对于另一个人来说，你知道，这个报价是真正的报价。
If I need help, I'm going to call you.
如果我需要帮助，我会打电话给你。
And she did.
她做到了。
And maybe she's the one that's right.
也许她是正确的人。
So it's ironic that just being nice to someone actually had the adverse effect, the opposite effect, and it ended up being like a disaster, and now two people are not even friendly with each other.
所以讽刺的是，仅仅对某人好实际上会产生不利的影响，相反的效果，最终就像一场灾难，现在两个人甚至彼此都不友好。
There have been other disasters for Howard, disasters where he was the one who went a little too far.
对于霍华德来说，还有其他的灾难，在这些灾难中，他做得有点太过分了。
Like, there's the time he became so consumed with helping this neighborhood Chinese restaurant that, without being asked, he took it upon himself to draw pamphlets for the place.
比如，有一次，他非常热衷于帮助附近的一家中餐馆，以至于在没有人要求的情况下，他自己为这个地方画了小册子。
The owner accepted Howard's flyers but never circulated them.
店主接受了霍华德的传单，但从未分发过。
Later, the owner picked a screaming fight with Howard over an order, and Howard never went back.
后来，店主为了一份订单与霍华德大吵了一架，霍华德再也没有回去。
And then there was the time he brought in beautiful framed photos of Lebanon to his favorite Lebanese restaurant so they could be reminded of home, but the photos were never hung up nor were they ever referred to again.
有一次，他把美丽的黎巴嫩照片带到他最喜欢的黎巴嫩餐厅，这样他们就可以想起家乡，但这些照片从未被挂起来，也没有被再次提及。
But for Howard, those things don't matter, and I know that he'd probably even do them all again.
但对于霍华德来说，这些事情并不重要，而且我知道他甚至可能会再做一次。
There are so many other moments that make his good intentions feel repaid in full.
还有很多其他时刻让他的善意得到了充分的回报。
Some of his favorites are when delivery men he knows pass him by in their cars as he's walking down the street.
他最喜欢的一些场景是，当他走在街上时，他认识的送货员开着车从他身边经过。
It shocks him out of his reverie when they honk their horns in a quick, affectionate burst.
当他们快速而充满感情地鸣响喇叭时，他从沉思中惊醒。
For a brief moment, it feels like a reassuring slap on the back.
有那么一瞬间，感觉就像是背上被拍了一巴掌，让人安心。
Howard thinks to himself that they're the best, and it fills him with so much gratitude that if he had a pear or a peach in his coat pocket, he would wave them over and give it to them.
霍华德心想，他们是最好的，他心里充满了感激之情，如果他的外套口袋里有梨子或桃子，他就会把它们挥过去送给他们。
Jonathan Goldstein is currently writing his own version of the Bible.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦目前正在撰写他自己的圣经版本。
He is the host of a new upcoming series on CBC Radio called Wiretap.
他是 CBC 广播电台即将推出的新系列节目《Wiretap》的主持人。
[MUSIC - "MAKE ME SMILE (COME UP AND SEE ME)" BY STEVE HARLEY & COCKNEY REBEL]
[音乐 - “让我微笑（上来看看我）”，作者：Steve Harley 和 COCKNEY REBEL]
Act Two, Except For That One Problem, It Is Perfect.
第二幕，除了那一个问题，很完美。
Prisons operate on the idea that if inmates don't control themselves they get consequences, punishments.
监狱的运作理念是，如果囚犯不控制自己，他们就会受到后果和惩罚。
So what do you do with inmates who don't understand consequences, whose emotions take over?
那么，对于那些不明白后果、情绪占主导地位的囚犯，你该怎么办呢？
Well, there's this thing called Borderline Personality Disorder.
嗯，有一种叫做边缘性人格障碍的东西。
People with this disorder are ruled by their emotions.
患有这种疾病的人受情绪控制。
They are hypersensitive.
他们非常敏感。
They demand attention.
他们需要关注。
They mutilate themselves.
他们自残。
They attempt suicide.
他们试图自杀。
And in prison, they end up spending a lot of time in isolation cells.
在监狱里，他们最终在隔离牢房里度过了很多时间。
They require a lot of time from guards and medical personnel.
他们需要警卫和医务人员投入大量时间。
They clog the system.
他们堵塞了系统。
They cost millions of dollars.
它们花费了数百万美元。
They are a huge management problem.
它们是一个巨大的管理问题。
Medication doesn't work on this disorder, and psychoanalysis only makes them worse.
药物治疗对这种疾病无效，精神分析只会让情况变得更糟。
They're too unstable.
他们太不稳定了。
There is a new program to deal with them, and it's getting some results.
有一个新的计划来应对这些问题，并且正在取得一些成果。
But unfortunately, it goes against some of the basic rules of prison life.
但不幸的是，这违反了监狱生活的一些基本规则。
In particular, it goes against the rule that everybody in prison should get treated the same.
特别是，它违反了监狱中的每个人都应受到同等待遇的规则。
Gregory Warner went to Springfield, Missouri, to check out the program, to the oldest and largest prison hospital in the country.
格雷戈里·华纳（Gregory Warner）前往密苏里州斯普林菲尔德，前往该国最古老、最大的监狱医院检查该计划。
It's more prison than hospital, the United States Medical Center for Federal Prisoners.
美国联邦囚犯医疗中心与其说是医院，不如说是监狱。
It was built in 1933, back when they were still designing prisons to look like fortresses.
它建于 1933 年，当时他们还在设计看起来像堡垒的监狱。
It stands alone in a huge field like something that should be approached on horseback.
它孤零零地矗立在一片广阔的田野里，就像某种应该骑马接近的东西。
Inside are some of the more advanced medical services for inmates in the country: a dialysis unit, a cancer ward.
里面有一些为该国囚犯提供的更先进的医疗服务：透析室、癌症病房。
But there's still a feel of the prison stockade: bars, guard stations, a wheelchair-accessible chow hall.
但监狱栅栏的感觉仍然存在：酒吧、警卫站、可供轮椅通行的食堂。
Another building houses the mental health ward.
另一栋大楼设有心理健康病房。
A few people in Springfield, even the guy who rented my car at the airport, warned me about running into Hannibal Lecter here.
斯普林菲尔德的一些人，甚至是在机场租我车的那个人，都警告我不要在这里遇到汉尼拔·莱克特。
But inside the prison, the mention of Hannibal gets only an embarrassed shrug.
但在监狱里，只要提到汉尼拔，人们就会尴尬地耸耸肩。
The controversial inmates are on the third floor in the unlocked unit for inmates with Borderline Personality Disorder, some of the most problematic inmates in the entire federal prison system.
这些有争议的囚犯位于三楼未上锁的边缘型人格障碍囚犯牢房中，他们是整个联邦监狱系统中问题最严重的囚犯之一。
The unit is surprisingly calm, given these guys' histories.
考虑到这些人的历史，这个单位出人意料地平静。
Unless there's a therapy group in session, we find the men clustered around card tables or reading, or just pacing down the narrow corridor.
除非有治疗小组在进行治疗，否则我们会发现这些人聚集在牌桌旁或阅读，或者只是在狭窄的走廊上踱步。
The whole unit is one L-shaped hallway with brooms and cells off of that.
整个单元是一个L形的走廊，走廊上有扫帚和牢房。
This is where I find Randy Nielsen, 45 years old, he's been in for bank robbery since he was 19.
我在这里找到了兰迪·尼尔森 (Randy Nielsen)，他今年 45 岁，从 19 岁起就开始抢劫银行。
He's tall with graying hair and shining gray eyes.
他身材高大，头发花白，灰色的眼睛闪闪发亮。
The scars on his arms actually overlap, new scars on top of old ones, from all the times he's tried to hurt himself.
他手臂上的伤疤实际上是重叠的，新伤疤叠在旧伤疤上，这是他每次试图伤害自己造成的。
I never knew what was wrong with me.
我从来不知道自己出了什么问题。
And I really thought I was crazy because I would have crying fits in the middle of-- in a chow hall or walking, and somebody would be talking, and then all of a sudden, I'd just start screaming and pulling my hair and beating my face until they sedated me.
我真的以为我疯了，因为我会在食堂或走路的时候突然哭起来，有人在说话，然后突然间，我就会开始尖叫，拉扯我的头发，打我的脸，直到他们给我注射镇静剂。
And why do you think you were doing that?
你认为你为什么要这么做？
I got attention.
我引起了注意。
And they had to deal with me.
他们必须对付我。
One way or the other, they had to deal with me.
不管怎样，他们必须对付我。
They've learned that that's the only reason and the only way that people will listen to them, is if everything is a crisis.
他们了解到，如果一切都陷入危机，这是人们倾听他们意见的唯一原因和唯一方式。
Keith Smith is a treatment specialist who works with Nielsen and the other guys on this unit.
基思·史密斯 (Keith Smith) 是一位治疗专家，与尼尔森和该部门的其他人员一起工作。
Every headache that he might get, that's a tumor.
他可能出现的每一次头痛都是肿瘤。
Every ache and pain, that's a broken joint or cancer or something horrible.
每一次疼痛，都是关节骨折、癌症或其他可怕的事情。
He needs very expensive tests.
他需要非常昂贵的测试。
He needs them right now.
他现在需要他们。
So today, you might go through a huge ordeal to get him seen for one thing, and you think it's passed.
所以今天，你可能会经历一场巨大的考验，让他看到一件事，而你认为这已经过去了。
And then the next day, it's something totally different.
然后第二天，情况就完全不同了。
Same crisis, new ailment.
同样的危机，新的疾病。
What makes people with Borderline Personality Disorder so difficult to deal with is they can be incredibly hostile and manipulative, and at the same time, phenomenally needy.
边缘性人格障碍患者之所以如此难以相处，是因为他们可能具有令人难以置信的敌意和控制欲，同时又非常需要帮助。
They crave attention and approval.
他们渴望得到关注和认可。
They can't deal with people, but they can't bear to be alone, and they fear being abandoned.
他们不会与人打交道，但又无法忍受孤独，害怕被抛弃。
And the littlest things can throw them into a crisis, someone not saying hello in the hallway, or not getting the right amount of food.
最微小的事情都可能让他们陷入危机，有人在走廊里没有打招呼，或者没有得到适量的食物。
And once they're upset, they're uncontrollable.
而且一旦情绪激动，他们就会无法控制。
They'll mutilate themselves if they don't get their way.
如果他们不按自己的意愿行事，他们就会自残。
They'll threaten suicide, and they'll mean it for as long as the crisis lasts.
他们会威胁要自杀，而且只要危机持续，他们就会这么做。
In prison, they start fights and sew drama.
在监狱里，他们开始打架，上演戏剧性的场面。
They attempt suicide, and then sue the prison for rescuing them.
他们试图自杀，然后起诉监狱营救他们。
Generally, prison has two ways of dealing with these inmates.
一般来说，监狱有两种处理这些囚犯的方式。
They can transfer them to a new facility with the idea that a change of scenery might change the behavior, a temporary solution that works often enough there's even an unofficial term for it: diesel therapy.
他们可以将他们转移到一个新的设施，想法是改变环境可能会改变他们的行为，这是一种经常有效的临时解决方案，甚至有一个非正式的术语：柴油疗法。
Or they could use punishment to deter the behavior: solitary confinement.
或者他们可以使用惩罚来阻止这种行为：单独监禁。
The hole, it's called.
洞，名曰洞。
But diesel therapy is expensive and only works temporarily.
但柴油疗法价格昂贵，而且只能暂时发挥作用。
And the hole for borderlines can often exacerbate the symptoms.
边界线的缺失往往会加剧症状。
Mostly, prisons don't know what to do.
大多数情况下，监狱不知道该怎么办。
They are exhausting.
他们很累。
They are difficult.
他们很难。
They wear you out.
他们让你疲惫不堪。
This is psychologist Georgina Ashlock.
这是心理学家乔治娜·阿什洛克。
Two years ago, the Federal Bureau of Prisons hired her to launch the experimental program here in Springfield to stop borderline inmates from mutilating themselves or attempting suicide.
两年前，联邦监狱局聘请她在斯普林菲尔德启动实验计划，以阻止边缘囚犯自残或企图自杀。
It's a daunting task.
这是一项艰巨的任务。
She didn't have much competition landing the job.
她获得这份工作的竞争并不激烈。
Only one other psychologist in the entire Bureau of Prisons applied for it.
整个监狱局只有一名心理学家提出了申请。
Why would anybody be motivated to want to take on one or two, let alone 48, individuals who are at high risk of killing themselves or mutilating themselves and who absolutely wear you out day to day as you try to facilitate change?
为什么有人会愿意与一两个人较量，更不用说 48 个人了，他们很有自杀或自残的风险，而且在你试图推动变革的过程中，他们日复一日地让你疲惫不堪？
So the experimental program that Dr. Ashlock started uses a treatment called DBT: Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
因此，阿什洛克博士启动的实验计划使用了一种称为 DBT 的治疗方法：辩证行为疗法。
DBT was developed in the '90s, and it's still the only treatment that's ever shown to work on borderlines.
DBT 于 20 世纪 90 年代开发，至今仍是唯一被证明对边缘有效的治疗方法。
What it is, it tries to stop borderline behavior by teaching them techniques to deal with emotions, skills like breathing deeply to relax, or keeping an emotion diary to gain self-awareness.
它的本质是，它试图通过教他们处理情绪的技巧来阻止边缘行为，比如深呼吸以放松，或写情绪日记以获得自我意识。
Because mostly this disorder is diagnosed in women, a lot of the skills are specific to women, like taking a bubble bath or painting your nails.
因为这种疾病大多是在女性中诊断出来的，所以很多技能都是女性特有的，比如洗泡泡浴或涂指甲油。
The worksheets had to be modified for men, of course, and Ashlock said modified further for men in prison.
当然，工作表必须针对男性进行修改，阿什洛克表示，还需要针对监狱中的男性进行进一步修改。
You cannot say drive in the countryside and look at the leaves, the autumn leaves, or go see a movie, or even one of the suggestions on one of the handouts is something like you can sit in the lobby of a hotel, you know, maybe a historic hotel or building or something and look at the surroundings.
你不能说在乡村开车看树叶、秋天的落叶，或者去看电影，甚至其中一份讲义上的建议之一是你可以坐在酒店的大堂，你知道，也许是一家历史悠久的酒店或建筑或其他什么地方，看看周围的环境。
So adapting, helping them discover what they do have access to, that's a challenge.
因此，适应并帮助他们发现他们可以获得什么，这是一个挑战。
What prisoners do have access to are things like photos ripped from magazines of puppies or beaches to focus on.
囚犯可以接触到的东西是从杂志上撕下的小狗或海滩的照片，以供关注。
They have rubber bands to snap on their wrists when they feel like cutting.
当他们想要割伤时，他们会用橡皮筋绑在手腕上。
And they also have the distraction of the weight room.
而且他们还有举重室的干扰。
DBT also teaches interpersonal skills, like how to ask a nurse for aspirin.
DBT 还教授人际交往技巧，例如如何向护士要阿司匹林。
A lot of these guys have no idea.
这些人很多都不知道。
They'll demand aspirin, and the nurse will tell them to wait, and then they'll start screaming, and the whole situation just escalates.
他们会要求服用阿司匹林，护士会让他们等待，然后他们就会开始尖叫，整个情况就会升级。
They don't get the aspirin, and they get thrown in the hall for making a scene.
他们没有得到阿司匹林，还因为大吵大闹而被扔到大厅里。
So DBT has all this worksheets on how to break the interaction down, like how badly do I want to aspirin?
DBT 有所有关于如何打破互动的工作表，比如我有多想吃阿司匹林？
Does the nurse have any aspirin?
护士有阿司匹林吗？
Is she really busy?
她真的很忙吗？
Or is she in a giving mood?
或者她有奉献的心情吗？
And what's the body language of someone in a giving mood?
处于奉献心情的人的肢体语言是什么？
DBT is like a Berlitz guide to dealing with the world.
DBT 就像一本贝立兹应对世界的指南。
As basic as all this seems, Ashlock says these are skills that these guys never learned, in large part because of abusive childhoods.
阿什洛克说，尽管这一切看起来很基础，但这些人从未学到过这些技能，很大程度上是因为童年受虐待。
And all these little skills add up.
所有这些小技能加起来。
You learn how to ask for aspirin, people see you as a nice person.
你学会了如何索取阿司匹林，人们认为你是一个好人。
Your personality begins to change.
你的性格开始改变。
Even the big things can start shifting, like one's ability to empathize with others.
即使是大事也会开始发生变化，比如一个人同情他人的能力。
But sometimes that can cause more problems in prison, where being a nice guy can be seen as a sign of weakness.
但有时这可能会在监狱中引起更多问题，在监狱里，做一个好人可能会被视为软弱的表现。
Acting reasonably can be difficult or even dangerous.
合理行事可能很困难，甚至很危险。
It's hard to live in this environment and actually go by these rules.
生活在这种环境中并真正遵守这些规则是很困难的。
But you want to because you're actually trying to better yourself.
但你想要这样做，因为你实际上是在努力让自己变得更好。
This is Edwin Torres.
这是埃德温·托雷斯。
He's 33 and has served two years of a 20-year sentence for drug dealing.
他今年 33 岁，因毒品交易被判 20 年徒刑，已服刑两年。
Can you give me an example of a time when you faced that pressure?
你能举一个你面临这种压力的例子吗？
Sure.
当然。
I had a problem not too long ago, actually.
事实上，不久前我遇到了一个问题。
I was arguing with a guy in recreation.
我在娱乐中与一个人争论。
I came back to the unit because I was so mad.
我回到单位是因为我太生气了。
Normally, I would have just fought with the guy right there.
通常情况下，我会直接和那个人打架。
But I was so mad and I'm thinking about the program, so I just walked away from the guy while we were arguing.
但我太生气了，我正在考虑这个计划，所以在我们争论的时候我就离开了那个人。
I just said-- you know, I just walked away, didn't even say nothing to him.
我只是说——你知道，我就走开了，甚至什么也没对他说。
I walked all the way back to the unit, sat in the unit for, like, three or four minutes.
我一路走回单位，在单位里坐了大概三四分钟。
And then I decided, you know what?
然后我决定，你知道吗？
I'm going to go back.
我要回去了。
Whatever happens happens.
无论发生什么都会发生。
And I'm fighting myself all the way down the hallway.
我在走廊里一路与自己作斗争。
And then I didn't even get back to recreation.
然后我什至没有回去娱乐。
By the time I'm halfway there, I see my buddies coming.
走到一半的时候，我看到我的朋友们来了。
And they're like, you know what?
他们就像，你知道吗？
It ain't worth it.
这不值得。
He ain't worth it.
他不值得。
Remember, you can't make decisions in an emotional mind and just-- and I was, like, you know what?
请记住，你不能在情绪化的情况下做出决定，而我当时的反应是，你知道吗？
It actually made me happy.
这实际上让我很高兴。
I started laughing.
我开始笑。
I'm like, man, guys, thanks a lot for you guys being here.
我想，伙计们，非常感谢你们来到这里。
You really helped me out.
你真的帮了我大忙。
The inmates throw these terms around.
囚犯们到处乱说这些术语。
Emotional mind, which refers to an excited emotional state, versus wise mind, which is more balanced.
情绪心，指的是兴奋的情绪状态，而智慧心，则更平衡。
A lot of DBT jargon derives from Eastern philosophy.
许多 DBT 术语都源自东方哲学。
Here's C.J., a 31-year-old inmate.
这是 C.J.，一名 31 岁的囚犯。
You know, they got a skill here called radical acceptance.
你知道，他们在这里有一项技能，叫做彻底接受。
You've just got to accept what the situation is.
你必须接受现状。
I'm in prison.
我在监狱里。
These cops have their job.
这些警察有他们的工作。
The other inmates are going to do what they're going to do.
其他囚犯也会做他们要做的事。
Because I let little things just work me up.
因为我让小事让我兴奋。
But if I can just look at the thing and laugh and say, wow, that's not a big deal at all, man, then I just radically accept the situation.
但如果我能看着这件事然后笑着说，哇，这根本不是什么大不了的事，伙计，那么我就会从根本上接受这种情况。
I know I can't change it.
我知道我无法改变它。
It's just the way it is.
事情就是这样。
And then it just passes for the moment.
然后就暂时过去了。
My interview with C.J.
我对 C.J. 的采访
had been rescheduled at the last minute.
在最后一刻被重新安排。
And in the past, he told me that would have spun him out of control, ruined his whole day.
在过去，他告诉我这会让他失去控制，毁掉他的一整天。
This time, he knew what to do.
这一次，他知道该怎么做了。
He went back to his cell and did the things he knew would calm himself down.
他回到自己的牢房，做了一些他知道能让自己平静下来的事情。
He made coffee.
他煮了咖啡。
He changed his shoes.
他换了鞋子。
He used his skills.
他运用了他的技能。
The DBT program's only two years old, and most of the success is anecdotal, but the initial statistics are promising.
DBT 项目只有两年的历史，大部分的成功都只是传闻，但初步的统计数据是有希望的。
Out of 21 inmates who finished at least half the program, suicide attempts are down by 94%.
在完成至少一半计划的 21 名囚犯中，自杀未遂率下降了 94%。
And the same inmates are spending 73% less time in the hole.
同样的囚犯在地洞里呆的时间减少了 73%。
And this is after they leave the program or they go to a new prison.
这是在他们离开该计划或前往新监狱之后。
But that doesn't mean all the prison staff is happy with the program, because the operative word in Dialectical Behavior Therapy is behavior.
但这并不意味着所有监狱工作人员都对该计划感到满意，因为辩证行为疗法中的关键词是行为。
And for it to work, the therapists have to be involved in deciding how misbehavior is punished.
为了让它发挥作用，治疗师必须参与决定如何惩罚不当行为。
And this brings them directly in conflict with the guards, who traditionally have control over that.
这使他们与传统上拥有控制权的警卫发生直接冲突。
So DBT has set off a turf war between the corrections staff and the therapists.
因此，DBT在惩教人员和治疗师之间引发了一场地盘争夺战。
For instance, sending prisoners to the hole is one of the main tools the corrections staff has as a form of punishment.
例如，将囚犯送进监狱是惩教人员作为惩罚形式的主要工具之一。
But under DBT, Dr. Ashlock can actually take an inmate out of a hole.
但在 DBT 下，阿什洛克博士实际上可以将囚犯带出洞。
That's a pretty big deal.
这是一件大事。
And she also allows the inmates to voluntarily place themselves in the hole if they feel like it's the only way they can get control of themselves.
如果囚犯觉得这是他们控制自己的唯一方法，她还允许囚犯自愿将自己放入洞中。
Instead of acting out to get there, they can just go, like taking a sick day for work.
他们不必假装去那里，而是可以直接走，就像请病假去上班一样。
Guards hate all this special treatment.
守卫讨厌所有这些特殊待遇。
Dr. Ashlock tells me this story about an inmate who attempted suicide.
阿什洛克博士给我讲了一个关于一名试图自杀的囚犯的故事。
Normal procedure is that the prison guards would strip him and place him in a suicide cell.
正常程序是狱警会把他脱光衣服，然后把他关进自杀牢房。
But Dr. Ashlock spoke to him and decided that the suicide cell wasn't the best place for him.
但阿什洛克博士与他交谈后认为自杀室并不是他最好的地方。
Well, it was very obvious with talking with him that the crisis had passed.
嗯，通过与他交谈，很明显危机已经过去了。
So I made a decision clinically that he could return to the semi-locked unit.
所以我冷静地做出决定，让他回到半封闭的单位。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
You would have thought that we had taken the guy out for a steak dinner and bought him a plane ticket home.
你可能会以为我们带他出去吃牛排晚餐并给他买了一张回家的机票。
I mean, the institution went crazy.
我的意思是，这个机构疯了。
And they were calling the union, saying just what a stupid decision that was, and that I rewarded his behavior, and that it wasn't safe, and that he should have been, at the minimum, punished by being placed in a stripped cell overnight.
他们打电话给工会，说这是一个多么愚蠢的决定，我奖励了他的行为，而且这不安全，而且他至少应该受到惩罚，被关在一个被剥夺了的牢房里过夜。
It was completely ridiculous, and it was just so destructive to the whole treatment milieu that I ultimately had to ship the inmate out.
这完全是荒谬的，而且它对整个治疗环境具有如此大的破坏性，以至于我最终不得不将囚犯送出去。
I mean, it was over.
我的意思是，一切都结束了。
It was just over.
事情刚刚结束。
There was so much controversy, so much heated emotion about it that it was impossible to even keep the inmate there and continue to work together.
争议如此之多，情绪如此激烈，甚至不可能将囚犯留在那里并继续一起工作。
Many of these guys are here for being manipulative criminals, master manipulators.
这些人中的许多人是因为成为操纵罪犯、操纵大师而来到这里的。
Larry Caudle has been a corrections officer at Springfield for 13 years and was president of the guards' union when the DBT program was introduced.
拉里·考德尔 (Larry Caudle) 在斯普林菲尔德担任惩教官已有 13 年，在 DBT 计划推出时担任警卫工会主席。
He says in prison you have to be suspicious of everything to protect your own safety, and you're trained to resist inmates who want to manipulate you.
他说，在监狱里，你必须对一切都保持怀疑，以保护自己的安全，并且你接受过训练，可以抵抗那些想要操纵你的囚犯。
A lot of them have learned that sometimes if you can't get what you want by verbalizing a problem, stick a pencil in your arm.
他们中的很多人都知道，有时如果你无法通过语言表达问题得到你想要的东西，那就在手臂上放一支铅笔。
Somebody's going to listen.
有人会听。
Throw a fit.
抛出一个配合。
Scream, cuss, carry on like a little kid.
尖叫，咒骂，继续像个小孩子一样。
Threaten to kill somebody.
威胁要杀人。
Somebody will listen to you.
有人会听你的。
That's how a lot of staff view it, that people come here, they get out of a penitentiary where they have problems.
这就是很多工作人员的看法，人们来到这里，从有问题的监狱里出来。
They play the game for a year.
他们玩这个游戏一年了。
And a lot of times, if they're really successful, they eventually get their custody level downgraded, and they go to a little bit less restrictive, a less dangerous place.
很多时候，如果他们真的成功了，他们最终会降低监管级别，然后去一个限制较少、危险较小的地方。
And a lot of staff feel like that they're just manipulating the system.
许多员工感觉他们只是在操纵系统。
It all just looks wrong, one officer told me.
一位警官告诉我，这一切看起来都是错误的。
Even the idea of calling inmates "patients" sends some guards into a cussing fit.
甚至称囚犯为“病人”的想法也会让一些狱警大骂起来。
They're not there to help cure anyone.
他们不是来帮助治愈任何人的。
They're there to keep control.
他们在那里是为了保持控制。
The prison anticipated trouble from officers even before the DBT program started.
监狱甚至在 DBT 项目开始之前就预计到官员会遇到麻烦。
So they launched a Hearts and Minds campaign to convince officers that DBT would help them control inmates.
因此，他们发起了一场“心灵与思想”运动，让官员相信 DBT 可以帮助他们控制囚犯。
There was a DBT role-play at the annual staff training, but the message wasn't getting through.
年度员工培训中进行了 DBT 角色扮演，但信息并未传达出去。
The officers asked Dr. Ashlock if the inmates would get flowered curtains and pizza parties.
官员们询问阿什洛克博士，囚犯是否愿意享受鲜花窗帘和披萨派对。
They told another therapist to expect gladiator battles and daily rapes.
他们告诉另一位治疗师要做好角斗士战斗和日常强奸的准备。
So then the prison set up a special website with a thing called an Ask-It Basket, where Dr. Ashlock would field anonymous questions to dispel the various rumors, but that just led to more hostility.
于是监狱设立了一个专门的网站，里面有一个叫做“询问篮”的东西，阿什洛克博士会在上面提出匿名问题，以消除各种谣言，但这只会导致更多的敌意。
Officers basically accused Ashlock of tossing out misbehavior reports to make the program look good and said the program was just a cozy hideout for inmates to go masturbate.
官员们基本上指责阿什洛克为了让该项目看起来不错而抛出不当行为报告，并表示该项目只是囚犯自慰的一个舒适的藏身处。
The Ask-It Basket was shut down after two weeks.
两周后，“询问篮”被关闭。
Keith Smith has seen both sides of this argument.
基思·史密斯（Keith Smith）看到了这场争论的两面。
He was an officer in the prison, and then he became a treatment specialist in the DBT program.
他曾是一名监狱官员，后来成为 DBT 项目的治疗专家。
And ever since he took the job, his best officer friends won't talk to him.
自从他接手这份工作以来，他最好的军官朋友就不再和他说话了。
They stopped going bowling with him on Friday nights, and their families don't get together anymore.
他们周五晚上不再和他一起打保龄球，他们的家人也不再聚在一起。
A lot of officers see you as either you're with the officers or you're with the inmates.
许多警官将你视为要么与警官站在一起，要么与囚犯站在一起。
So if you take any kind of a position where you're not directly, absolutely against the inmate, you're for them.
因此，如果你采取任何不直接、绝对反对囚犯的立场，你就是支持他们的。
And that means giving them special favors or being soft on them, not calling them on their incidents or not writing incident reports, things of that nature, letting them get away with things that you shouldn't.
这意味着给予他们特殊的照顾或对他们软弱，不向他们通报事件或不写事件报告，诸如此类的事情，让他们做你不应该做的事情。
Dr. Ashlock doesn't see what the big deal is.
阿什洛克博士不明白有什么大不了的。
She thinks officers should be in favor of a program that helps them handle these inmates, that leads to fewer outbursts and less violence.
她认为警察应该支持一项帮助他们处理这些囚犯的计划，从而减少爆发和暴力。
She says what the officers don't understand is that by giving these prisoners special treatment, by bending the rules for them, she's not giving into their manipulation, she's trying to stop it.
她说，警察们不明白的是，通过给予这些囚犯特殊待遇，通过改变他们的规则，她并不是屈服于他们的操纵，而是试图阻止这种行为。
She tells the story of an inmate who swallowed a piece of razor blade and was sent to the hole.
她讲述了一个囚犯吞下一片剃须刀刀片并被送到洞里的故事。
And then she discovered that he did that so he could avoid guys he owed gambling debts to.
然后她发现他这样做是为了避免欠赌债的人。
I immediately took him out of lockup.
我立刻把他从看守所里带了出来。
Same kind of thing.
同样的事情。
Backlash, people appalled.
反响强烈，人们心惊胆战。
Oh, she's rewarding his behavior, and she's not doing what she said she was going to do in the program.
哦，她正在奖励他的行为，但她并没有按照她在节目中所说的去做。
But they did not understand that that was what the inmate wanted, was to hide in lockup.
但他们不明白，这就是囚犯想要的，就是躲进看守所。
And we came in and said you're coming out.
我们进来并说你要出来。
We brought him to my office and said you're going to figure out who you owe and how much you owe.
我们把他带到我的办公室，说你要弄清楚你欠谁以及欠多少钱。
You're going to go meet with those inmates on the compound.
你要去会见监狱里的那些囚犯。
You're going to work out a plan for repayment.
你将制定一个还款计划。
You're going to face your situation that you created.
你将面对你所创造的处境。
Now, did that inmate stop racking up debts?
现在，那个犯人不再欠债了吗？
No, because this is a very long pattern of behavior for him.
不，因为这对他来说是一个很长的行为模式。
However, we certainly took away his motivation to use self-harm to avoid that responsibility.
然而，我们当然剥夺了他利用自残来逃避责任的动机。
So to me, it seems like a very simple solution.
所以对我来说，这似乎是一个非常简单的解决方案。
The problem is, when a prisoner mutilates himself or tries to kill himself, the guards see it one way, the therapists see it another.
问题是，当一名囚犯自残或试图自杀时，看守是一种看法，而治疗师却是另一种看法。
There's a jail in Kentucky that reportedly uses something officers call the fingernail test to tell the difference between a real suicide attempt and a manipulative one.
据报道，肯塔基州的一所监狱使用一种被官员称为指甲测试的方法来区分真正的自杀企图和操纵性自杀。
The officer basically uses his fingernail to measure if the wound is deep enough to be a real suicide.
警官基本上用指甲来测量伤口是否足够深，是否是真正的自杀。
That's a pretty gross example, but it's an issue that every prison struggles with it and that's at the heart of this disagreement.
这是一个相当粗俗的例子，但这是每个监狱都在努力解决的问题，也是这场分歧的核心。
No one wants a suicide on their watch, but no one wants to be sucker either.
没有人愿意在自己的任期内自杀，但也没有人愿意成为傻瓜。
Gregory Warner lives in New York.
格雷戈里·华纳住在纽约。
Coming up, mommy knows best, but sometimes she needs the power that comes with cassette tape.
妈妈最清楚，但有时她需要盒式磁带带来的力量。
That's in a minute, from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
稍后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, Special Treatment.
今天的节目，特殊待遇。
We have stories about the pros and cons of not treating everyone the same.
我们有关于不一视同仁的利弊的故事。
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, Mommy's Psychic Helper.
第三幕，妈妈的心灵帮手。
When Aimee and Andrew were babies in Southern California, their Vietnamese mom got their horoscopes done by a fortune teller, and had them recorded onto a cassette tape.
当艾米和安德鲁还是南加州的婴儿时，他们的越南妈妈让算命先生给他们算了星座，并将其录制到盒式磁带上。
She did?
她做到了？
Aimee Phan Uh-huh.
艾米·潘 嗯嗯。
At one point, she had three jobs, and it was really stressful for her.
她一度身兼三份工作，压力确实很大。
And we would be upstairs going to bed, getting ready for bed, and she would sit in the living room, and she would listen to the tape sometimes.
我们会上楼去睡觉，准备睡觉，她会坐在客厅里，有时会听磁带。
And if we would go downstairs, sometimes I would hear her listening to the tape, just her sitting, usually lying down.
如果我们下楼，有时我会听到她在听磁带，只是坐着，通常是躺着。
[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE] Aimee Phan It became a part of our everyday for her to talk about these tapes whenever she would be talking about our personalities.
[说越南语] Aimee Phan 每当她谈论我们的个性时，她都会谈论这些磁带，这已经成为我们日常生活的一部分。
But since Andrew and I can't understand Vietnamese very well, it was just this voice.
但由于安德鲁和我不太懂越南语，所以就只有这个声音。
It was just this deep voice, very somber voice.
就是这个低沉的声音，非常阴沉的声音。
[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE] Aimee Phan The fortune's content would change with her attitude sometimes.
[说越南语] Aimee Phan 命运的内容有时会随着她的态度而改变。
What parts of the fortune would happen in what mood?
在什么样的心情下，财富的哪些部分会发生？
Well, when she was in a good mood, when she was happy, she would talk about how the fortune said how smart and clever I was, and how independent I was going to be, and how much I'd travel.
好吧，当她心情好的时候，当她高兴的时候，她会谈论命运如何告诉我我是多么聪明，我将变得多么独立，以及我将去旅行多少。
And whenever the credit card bills would come in and my mom would find out how much she thought I was spending, she would say how much money I wasted, and how the fortune had warned her that I was going to be a money waster, and if I wasn't careful, I would be broke for the rest of my life.
每当信用卡帐单出现时，我妈妈就会知道她认为我花了多少钱，她会说我浪费了多少钱，以及财富如何警告她我将成为一个浪费钱的人，如果我不小心，我的余生就会破产。
And even now-- I haven't lived at home for eight years-- even now when the bills come home, my dad will say that she still blames me.
即使现在——我已经八年没在家住了——即使现在当账单寄回家时，我爸爸也会说她仍然责怪我。
Never.
绝不。
Ira Glass Wait.
艾拉·格拉斯等等。
And she still gets the credit card bill, and then she goes, like, that Aimee?
她仍然收到信用卡账单，然后她就说，那个艾米？
Right.
正确的。
I think I was actually really sensible about money, but I did feel this guilt every month.
我觉得我对钱其实很理智，但每个月我都感到愧疚。
So basically, all your life, you've been haunted by this idea that you're really terrible with money and you're spending too much money.
所以基本上，在你的一生中，你一直被这样的想法所困扰：你真的很不花钱，而且你花了太多钱。
Can I just run something from the fortune by you?
我可以从你的财富中拿点东西吗？
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass So we had a translator translate this, and we have some recordings of her, and then some parts of this I'm just going to read to you.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：所以我们请了一位翻译来翻译这个，我们有她的一些录音，然后我将读给你们听其中的某些部分。
OK.
好的。
Ira Glass It says right here, talking about characteristics, you are loquacious and disgruntled, which will cause you back pain.
Ira Glass 就在这里说，说到特点，你多嘴、心怀不满，这会让你背痛。
You will be a good treasurer-- which I think means good with money-- and quickly become a wealthy person.
你将成为一名优秀的财务主管——我认为这意味着善于理财——并很快成为一个富有的人。
And then here's the translator.
然后这是翻译。
[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE] Translator The five years after 49, she will be very rich.
[说越南语] 翻译 49岁后的五年，她将非常富有。
Oh my gosh!
天哪！
So all the money stuff isn't in there.
所以所有的钱都不在里面。
Like, it doesn't say I'm going to waste money.
就像，它并没有说我会浪费钱。
I've never heard that fortune.
我从来没有听说过这样的财富。
Maybe she was scared to tell me that.
也许她害怕告诉我这些。
OK, Aimee.
好的，艾米。
I have another clip of tape of the translator to play you.
我还有另一段翻译录音带给你听。
I hope you're ready for this.
我希望你已经准备好。
The reason why I laughed is that she will be very chubby in these years.
我之所以笑，是因为这些年她会变得很胖。
What years?
几年了？
Translator She must be on diet because too fat.
翻译 她一定是在节食，因为太胖了。
Oh my God!
我的天啊！
See, this is the thing.
看吧，就是这个事情。
My mom's always warning me about being chubby, too.
我妈妈也总是警告我不要胖。
She is?
她是？
Aimee Phan And I'm not chubby!
Aimee Phan 而且我不胖！
I'm not chubby.
我并不胖。
And the thing in Vietnamese culture is you're always putting more food on people's plates, right?
越南文化中的事情是你总是在人们的盘子里放更多的食物，对吗？
This is the thing.
就是这样。
You have to eat more.
你必须多吃点。
You have to eat more.
你必须多吃点。
It's like the custom.
这就像习俗一样。
She stopped doing that and that really hurt me.
她不再这样做了，这真的伤害了我。
But Andrew's never had a problem with his weight.
但安德鲁的体重从来没有问题。
He never looks bad.
他看上去从来不坏。
He never has to be watched over for that kind of stuff.
他从来不需要因为这种事情而受到监视。
Wait.
等待。
Are you saying that you actually believe in the fortune?
你是说你真的相信命运吗？
Honestly, I don't know.
老实说，我不知道。
Sometimes I wonder if that horoscope didn't exist I would maybe be different.
有时我想，如果那个星座不存在，我也许会有所不同。
I wouldn't have problems with money.
我不会有钱的问题。
I wouldn't have problems with work and in making decisions in my life.
我不会在工作和生活决策方面遇到问题。
I know Andrew's horoscope said he was going to be very hard-working.
我知道安德鲁的星象表明他会非常努力工作。
He was going to be like Confucius, very slow and steady, and work very hard for his life, and he would have a good life.
他要像孔子一样，缓慢而稳定，为自己的生活努力工作，他会过上美好的生活。
And part of me was kind of jealous of that, the fact that his fate seemed to be happier than mine.
我内心有些嫉妒，因为他的命运似乎比我的幸福。
Aimee Phan has just missed four student loan payments.
艾米·潘 (Aimee Phan) 刚刚错过了四笔学生贷款付款。
Her brother Andrew is in medical school, as his horoscope predicted.
正如他的星象所预测的那样，她的兄弟安德鲁正在医学院就读。
Aimee has a book of short stories called We Should Never Meet.
艾米有一本短篇小说集，名叫《我们永远不应该见面》。
That will be published by St. Martin's Press in September.
该书将于九月由圣马丁出版社出版。
Act Four, The Way to a Boy's Heart is Through His Stomach.
第四幕，抓住男孩的心就是抓住他的胃。
Lisa Carver's son was born with a rare chromosomal disorder, and one of the things that it does to him is that his throat does not function properly.
丽莎·卡弗的儿子出生时患有一种罕见的染色体疾病，这种疾病对他造成的影响之一就是他的喉咙无法正常运作。
The biggest problem it causes is this: he can't eat at all.
它造成的最大问题是：他根本吃不下东西。
He has to be fed in a special way.
必须以特殊的方式喂养他。
And that's just where his special treatment begins.
这就是他的特殊待遇的开始。
His name's Wolfgang.
他的名字叫沃尔夫冈。
He's nine and a half.
他九岁半了。
Here's Lisa.
这是丽莎。
At first, they hoped that eventually he would eat, and so they wanted him to know how to eat, and they wanted the sensory experience of eating to stimulate talking.
起初，他们希望他最终能吃东西，所以他们希望他知道如何吃东西，他们希望通过吃东西的感官体验来刺激说话。
And so he would have tastes of different foods in really small amounts, all different kinds of foods, and he just loved all food.
所以他会少量地品尝不同的食物，所有不同种类的食物，而且他喜欢所有的食物。
He never rejected any kind of food.
他从不拒绝任何一种食物。
but he kept on getting pneumonias, and so we did a swallow study where they let him swallow something and take an x-ray of his throat, and they saw that a small amount of every bite, just maybe 1/10 of it, was going down into his lungs because his epiglottis wasn't closing correctly or fully over the part of the esophagus that goes to the lungs.
但他不断得肺炎，所以我们做了一项吞咽研究，他们让他吞下一些东西，并对他的喉咙进行 X 光检查，他们发现每咬一口都有少量（可能只有 1/10）进入他的肺部，因为他的会厌没有正确或完全闭合食道通向肺部的部分。
Now he eats nothing, and he drinks nothing.
现在他什么也不吃，也不喝。
Every once in awhile, when there's a holiday, he'll chew on some stuff for fun and social pleasure, and then he'll spit it out into a napkin.
每隔一段时间，当有假期时，他会为了好玩和社交乐趣而咀嚼一些东西，然后他会把它吐到餐巾纸上。
So he's NPO.
所以他是NPO。
That means nothing by mouth.
嘴上说的没有任何意义。
I don't know what it actually stands for, but that's for life.
我不知道它到底代表什么，但这就是生命。
I think it was harder on him when he was having tastes of things because it would get him all excited.
我认为当他品尝事物时，这对他来说会更困难，因为这会让他感到兴奋。
And now that he doesn't have anything, he's more accepting, but it just doesn't die.
而现在他什么都没有了，他就更能接受了，但就是不死不休。
It's like he still remembers what things taste like.
好像他还记得东西的味道。
And people eat all the time.
人们一直在吃东西。
I never realized how much people eat until I had a kid who couldn't eat, who was looking at me eat.
我从来没有意识到人们吃了多少，直到我有一个不能吃东西的孩子，他看着我吃东西。
But he wants it all the time, and it's all around, always.
但他一直想要它，而且它总是在身边。
It's always there.
它总是在那里。
You are about to hear the sound of every child but one at the elementary school down the road having lunch.
你将听到除了路边小学里的一个孩子以外的所有孩子正在吃午饭的声音。
The school that he's at now, they've always been just really caring about Wolf.
他现在就读的学校，他们一直都很关心沃尔夫。
When there's a birthday party, they have toys and stickers and games without the usual cupcakes and food creations.
当有生日聚会时，他们有玩具、贴纸和游戏，没有通常的纸杯蛋糕和食品创作。
And when they made gingerbread houses for Christmas, they didn't use gingerbread and marshmallows and jelly beans.
当他们为圣诞节制作姜饼屋时，他们没有使用姜饼、棉花糖和软糖。
They used art materials that looked like those things.
他们使用看起来像那些东西的艺术材料。
And now we're on our way down the hall to where the one child has his lunch.
现在我们正沿着大厅前往那个孩子吃午餐的地方。
And at lunch, when all the kids go down to the cafeteria, Wolf goes to his own private decorated cafeteria, which is in the health office.
午餐时，当所有的孩子都去自助餐厅时，沃尔夫去了他自己装饰的私人自助餐厅，该餐厅位于卫生办公室。
When it's time for Wolf to have a meal, he lifts up his shirt, and there's his little plastic G-tube, which is about three inches to the left of his belly button.
当 Wolf 吃饭的时候，他掀起衬衫，看到他的小塑料 G 形管，距离他的肚脐左侧大约三英寸。
And it's like a little plastic valve with a button on it or a snap, sort of like your gas tank has that little cover.
它就像一个小塑料阀门，上面有一个按钮或一个按扣，有点像你的油箱有那个小盖子。
And you take the cover off, and somebody puts the long skinny tube into the little hole, and pours the food down the long skinny tube.
然后你把盖子打开，有人把细长的管子放进小洞里，然后把食物倒进细长的管子里。
And it's sort of a creamy color, and it goes down like that, and his meal is done.
它是一种奶油色，就这样下去，他的饭就做好了。
OK.
好的。
Good, good.
好，好。
Lisa Carver This room where Wolf eats is decorated with all the things that Wolf loves, mainly caterpillars and aliens.
丽莎·卡弗 狼吃饭的这个房间装饰着狼喜欢的所有东西，主要是毛毛虫和外星人。
There's a couple stuffed animals bought especially for him, his little companions.
有几只毛绒动物是专门为他买的，他的小伙伴们。
And I just found out, doing this story, that they built this room especially for Wolfgang.
我在写这个故事时才发现，他们专门为沃尔夫冈建造了这个房间。
They had it built this summer.
他们今年夏天建造了它。
They had workers come in and build the structure.
他们让工人进来建造结构。
I mean, we know what school budgets are like.
我的意思是，我们知道学校预算是什么样的。
Can you imagine?
你能想象吗？
They would never say anything, but can you imagine the battles that went on, with people saying-- you know, there had to be somebody on the staff saying, why should this one kid get $7,000 of our budget when think about if that money were to go to something on the playground so that all the kids could learn unicycling?
他们永远不会说什么，但你能想象持续进行的战斗吗？人们说——你知道，工作人员中一定有人说，为什么这个孩子要从我们的预算中拿出 7,000 美元，想想如果这笔钱用于操场上的一些事情，以便所有的孩子都可以学习独轮车？
There could be 100 unicyclers out there or there could be one kid whose meal time is a little bit more pleasurable and private.
那里可能有 100 名独轮车骑手，也可能有一个孩子的用餐时间更加愉快和私密。
And I used to be a libertarian and a bit of an elitist, which I never recognized until I had a child with special needs.
我曾经是一个自由主义者，还有一点精英主义者，直到我有了一个有特殊需要的孩子后我才意识到这一点。
And I don't know how I would have voted.
我不知道我会如何投票。
I might have voted for the majority.
我可能会投票给大多数人。
I might have voted for the unicyclers, thinking where's the bigger benefit with this $7,000?
我可能会投票给独轮车骑手，心想这 7,000 美元的更大好处在哪里？
Now, I think that this boy, who is not doing so well on several fronts, deserves to not just survive his school day, but to actually thrive and have a wonderful day, even if that means a lot of effort.
现在，我认为这个在几个方面表现不佳的男孩不仅应该度过他的学校生活，而且应该真正茁壮成长并度过美好的一天，即使这意味着需要付出很多努力。
And what's amazing is that everybody seems to feel this way about Wolf once they meet him.
令人惊奇的是，每个人一旦见到沃尔夫，似乎都会有这样的感觉。
Every single person that's around Wolf tries to come up with some different creative solution to a dilemma that's not their own.
沃尔夫周围的每个人都试图想出一些不同的创造性解决方案来解决不属于他们自己的困境。
And it's not just school.
这不仅仅是学校。
His friend Sarah, who lives next door, is constantly exerting all this extra effort to be his friend, and she's only 11.
他住在隔壁的朋友莎拉（Sarah）不断地付出所有额外的努力来成为他的朋友，而她只有 11 岁。
When the ice cream truck comes, what do you do?
当冰淇淋车来的时候，你会做什么？
We usually just go and give him some ice or something.
我们通常只是去给他一些冰块什么的。
Then we put a little bit of food coloring in it so he can eat ice and I can eat the ice cream so we can actually have something, too.
然后我们在里面放一点食用色素，这样他就可以吃冰，我可以吃冰淇淋，这样我们实际上也可以吃点东西。
How do you feel when Wolf is watching you eat your ice cream?
当狼看着你吃冰淇淋时，你有什么感觉？
I think it's kind of not OK because he doesn't get to have ice cream.
我认为这有点不对，因为他没有机会吃冰淇淋。
So it's not that easy for him, yeah.
所以这对他来说并不容易，是的。
I was watching TV the other day, and I saw this Fox News guy talking about the school budget in Massachusetts and how this judge just gave all this extra money-- three times as much money-- to the schools, and that a huge chunk of it was going to special needs.
有一天我在看电视，我看到福克斯新闻的一个人谈论马萨诸塞州的学校预算，以及这位法官如何将所有这些额外的钱——三倍的钱——给学校，其中很大一部分将用于特殊需要。
And his gripe with it was basically that we've already been pouring all this money into special needs, and where has it gotten us?
他对此的抱怨基本上是我们已经将所有这些钱投入到特殊需求中，但它给我们带来了什么？
Has it made them normal?
这让他们变得正常了吗？
No.
不。
There are stragglers, and there are shooting stars, and that's just the way it is.
有掉队者，也有流星，事情就是这样。
That's being realistic.
这就是现实。
But how can you go on thinking that way when you put it in terms of an actual boy's life?
但当你把它放在一个实际男孩的生活中时，你怎么能继续这样思考呢？
How can you say to him, because you can't eat normally, you would cost too much and it's inconvenient to the staff and the other children, so you can't come in.
你怎么能对他说，因为你不能正常吃饭，花费太多，而且对工作人员和其他孩子来说都不方便，所以你不能进来。
Last year, I was trying to get Wolf into overnight summer camp for the first time, and he was denied due to his G tube.
去年，我第一次试图让Wolf参加过夜夏令营，但他因G管而被拒绝。
Can you imagine if a kid was not allowed to go to camp because he has a wheelchair?
你能想象如果一个孩子因为坐轮椅而不被允许去露营吗？
But I think not eating is just so unusual that people don't know what to think.
但我认为不吃东西太不寻常了，以至于人们不知道该怎么想。
So they're forced to be creative, and that's not always easy, especially in a group setting when you have all these other people to think about, too: campers, staffers, the campers' parents.
因此，他们被迫发挥创造力，而这并不总是那么容易，尤其是在集体环境中，当你还要考虑所有其他人时：营员、工作人员、营员的父母。
So I ended up threatening to sue the camp for discrimination, and suddenly, they got over their discomfort.
所以我最终威胁要起诉该营地的歧视，突然间，他们克服了不适。
And once they met Wolf, they saw that he's a little boy, and he's not this scary proposition and a drag on their time.
一旦他们遇到了沃尔夫，他们就发现他是一个小男孩，他并不是一个可怕的提议，也不是拖累他们时间的人。
So they were all very kind and wonderful to him, and Wolf had a wonderful time.
所以他们都对他非常友善和友善，沃尔夫度过了一段美好的时光。
He had to gather around the campfire and see other kids eating marshmallows, but that matters so little against the fact that he now has memories of gathering around the campfire.
他不得不聚集在篝火周围，看到其他孩子在吃棉花糖，但这与他现在有聚集在篝火周围的记忆相比并不重要。
Sometimes Wolf says-- while he's watching other people eat-- I'm happy for you that you get to taste that.
有时，沃尔夫在看着其他人吃饭时会说，我为你感到高兴，因为你能尝到它的味道。
It must be so good, which, of course, I translate to I am so filled with sadness and longing, but thanks for inviting me anyway.
它一定很好，当然，我翻译成我充满了悲伤和渴望，但无论如何还是谢谢你邀请我。
It's worth it.
这是值得的。
Well, our program was produced today by Diane Cook and myself with Alex Blumberg, Wendy Dorr, Jane Feltes, Sarah Koenig and Lisa Pollak.
好吧，我们今天的节目是由黛安·库克和我本人以及亚历克斯·布伦伯格、温迪·多尔、简·费尔特斯、莎拉·科尼格和丽莎·波拉克制作的。
Our senior producer is Julie Snyder.
我们的高级制片人是朱莉·斯奈德。
Elizabeth Meister runs our website with production help from Todd Bachmann, Will [?
伊丽莎白·梅斯特 (Elizabeth Meister) 在托德·巴赫曼 (Todd Bachmann)、威尔 [?
Reichel ?] and Kelsey Dilts.
赖切尔？]和凯尔西迪尔茨。
This is Kelsey's last day with the program, which means that it is a terrible day for all of us.
这是凯尔西参与该计划的最后一天，这意味着这对我们所有人来说都是可怕的一天。
We wish her the very best.
我们祝她一切顺利。
[ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS] Our website, www.thisamericanlife.org, where you can listen to our programs for free or buy CDs of them.
[鸣谢] 我们的网站 www.thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中免费收听我们的节目或购买其中的 CD。
You know, you can download audio of our program at audible.com/thisamericanlife, where they have public radio programs, best-selling books, even The New York Times, all at audible.com.
您知道，您可以在 audible.com/thisamericanlife 下载我们节目的音频，那里有公共广播节目、畅销书，甚至《纽约时报》，都在 audible.com 上。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia, who installed a new suggestion box here at WBEZ with a stack of paper forms, and some pencils, and these instructions:
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理监督由 Torey Malatia 负责，他在 WBEZ 设立了一个新意见箱，里面有一堆纸质表格和一些铅笔，以及以下说明：
If you can't get what you want by verbalizing a problem, stick a pencil in your arm.
如果你无法通过语言表达问题来得到你想要的东西，那就在你的手臂上放一支铅笔。
Somebody's going to listen.
有人会听。
Throw a fit.
抛出一个配合。
Scream, cuss, carry on like a little kid.
尖叫，咒骂，继续像个小孩子一样。
Threaten to kill somebody.
威胁要杀人。
Somebody will listen to you.
有人会听你的。
Management tips from the greats.
来自伟人的管理秘诀。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。