245: Allure of the Mean Friend - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #245 | July 25, 2025 245: Allure of the Mean Friend Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 245 集 | 2025 年 7 月 25 日 245：《卑鄙朋友的诱惑》 注：《美国生活》是为耳朵而生，旨在被聆听。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue: Prologue Ira Glass In a way, the story is always the same-- There was this kid.
序言：序言 Ira Glass 在某种程度上，故事总是一样的——有一个孩子。
She was mean.
她很刻薄。
She was popular.
她很受欢迎。
It's such a fixture of childhood, you can just walk up to a kid on the sidewalk or at a public pool, and they'll tell you.
这是童年的常态，你只要走到人行道上或公共泳池边的孩子面前，他们就会告诉你。
The popularest is this girl.
最受欢迎的是这个女孩。
She's in my grade.
她和我同年级。
She's really mean.
她真的很卑鄙。
And she has a lot of friends.
她有很多朋友。
I wanted to play with her, and then she had no friends, so she said, yeah.
我想和她一起玩，然后她没有朋友，所以她说，是的。
The other day, I wanted to play with her again, and her friends were there, and she said, get lost.
有一天，我想再和她一起玩，她的朋友们都在那里，她说，滚吧。
Sometimes she-- she be being mean to my sister, and I don't like that.
有时她对我妹妹很刻薄，我不喜欢这样。
She always telling somebody what they can and can't do.
她总是告诉别人他们能做什么和不能做什么。
She act like she the boss of people.
她表现得就像是人们的老大一样。
She real bossy.
她真是霸道。
She thinks she got the rhythm and the gear.
她认为她掌握了节奏和装备。
I'm mostly the popular one in my class, but I have a lot of other popular friends.
我是班上最受欢迎的一个，但我还有很多其他受欢迎的朋友。
This boy in my class, he liked me.
我们班的这个男孩，他喜欢我。
And every time he would come by me, I would tell him to get out of my way.
每次他经过我身边时，我都会告诉他别挡我的路。
Everybody says that he's the nerdiest boy in our class.
每个人都说他是我们班最书呆子的男孩。
He'll start bothering me and my friends, and I'll tell him to leave us alone.
他会开始打扰我和我的朋友，我会告诉他别打扰我们。
My friends even tell him, don't even look at her.
我的朋友甚至告诉他，别看她。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Ira Glass I talked to a high school sophomore about all this, Lillie Allison, 15, in Woods Hole, Massachusetts.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 我与一位来自马萨诸塞州伍兹霍尔市的 15 岁高中二年级生莉莉·艾利森 (Lillie Allison) 谈论了这一切。
And she said, in high school, anyway, it's kind of like the laws of nature.
她说，在高中，无论如何，这有点像自然法则。
Someone always will end up on top.
总会有人最终站在顶端。
Because there's always going to be the girls who are the most popular, that the guys look at the most and that get the friends because they're so pretty.
因为总有一些女孩是最受欢迎的，是男人们最看重的，并且因为她们很漂亮而交到朋友的。
There's always going to be those girls.
总会有那些女孩。
Hmm.
唔。
Lillie Allison And I think once people get the idea that they have that power, they're going to use it.
莉莉·艾利森：我认为一旦人们意识到他们拥有这种力量，他们就会使用它。
And they know that they can be mean to people and still be loved by everyone.
他们知道，他们可以对人很刻薄，但仍然受到每个人的喜爱。
You have nothing to lose, so why don't you go ahead and be mean to everybody that's not as good as you?
你没有什么可失去的，所以你为什么不继续对那些不如你的人表现出刻薄呢？
In Lillie's class, the girls like that, the popular ones, had been her best friends.
在莉莉的班级里，这样的女孩子，受欢迎的女孩，都是她最好的朋友。
When I became friends with them, it was in seventh grade, and there was none of that.
当我和他们成为朋友时，那是在七年级，当时什么都没有。
It was before the superlatives and before there was a most attractive.
那是在最高级之前，也是在最有吸引力之前。
Right.
正确的。
Lillie Allison And I'll admit, I was one of those girls until the first time they kicked me out of their little group.
莉莉·艾利森 我承认，在她们第一次把我踢出她们的小团体之前，我就是那些女孩中的一员。
And then I saw how it really is.
然后我看到了它的真实情况。
That's what we were.
我们就是这样。
We were the Four Blondes.
我们是四个金发女郎。
And what was it like to be one of those girls?
成为这些女孩中的一员感觉如何？
It was fun, you know?
这很有趣，你知道吗？
I mean, the attention is kind of fun.
我的意思是，这种关注很有趣。
Look at them looking at us.
看看他们看着我们。
And it's fun.
这很有趣。
It makes you feel powerful.
它让你感觉自己很强大。
I mean, part of being one of the Four Blondes is that everybody does the same thing, shaves their legs every day, has a perfect matching outfit.
我的意思是，作为“四金发女郎”之一，每个人都做同样的事情，每天刮腿毛，拥有完美搭配的服装。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Yeah.
是的。
Lillie Allison Makeup always has to be perfect-- not too much, not too little.
Lillie Allison 的化妆品始终必须完美——不能太多，也不能太少。
Suck up to the teachers.
向老师拍马屁。
Like, I remember I went two weeks without wearing a skirt, and one of them called me and was like, you have to wear a skirt tomorrow.
就像，我记得我有两个星期没有穿裙子，其中一个打电话给我，说，你明天必须穿裙子。
You've worn pants too many days in a row.
你连续穿裤子太多天了。
And if you don't fit that, then you get kicked out for a little while.
如果你不符合这一点，那么你就会被踢出一段时间。
Lillie got kicked out at the beginning of the summer.
莉莉在夏初被赶了出去。
She made a mistake.
她犯了一个错误。
She didn't do what the other girls wanted at some party.
在某些聚会上她没有做其他女孩想要的事。
So they called her up to kick her out.
于是他们打电话给她，要把她赶出去。
One of them is like-- she's the mean one.
其中之一就像——她是最卑鄙的那个。
It's kind of like the Spice Girls.
这有点像辣妹组合。
We all have our own little identity.
我们都有自己的小身份。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Yeah.
是的。
Lillie Allison There was the tough one, the cute one, the smart one.
莉莉·艾利森（Lillie Allison）：有坚强的，有可爱的，有聪明的。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
And the mean one.
还有那个卑鄙的。
Lillie Allison Yeah.
莉莉·艾利森 是的。
And so when we all got in this fight, they called me up, and they put the mean one on the phone.
因此，当我们都陷入这场战斗时，他们给我打电话，并让卑鄙的人接电话。
They'd tell her what to say.
他们会告诉她该说什么。
She'd say it to me, then put me on hold, figure out what else they wanted her to say, and then say it.
她会对我说，然后让我等待，弄清楚他们还想让她说些什么，然后说出来。
Wait.
等待。
They put you on hold, so you just sit there and hold, waiting for them to come up with the next mean thing?
他们让你等待，所以你就坐在那里等他们想出下一个卑鄙的办法？
That's right.
这是正确的。
And they didn't even realize how mean it was.
他们甚至没有意识到这是多么卑鄙。
Of course it doesn't always end in high school.
当然，这并不总是在高中结束。
And this isn't just about teenage girls.
这不仅仅涉及十几岁的女孩。
There are popular bullies in business and in politics-- and very successful ones in politics.
在商界和政界都有受欢迎的恶霸——在政界也有非常成功的恶霸。
Our movies and TV shows are full of them.
我们的电影和电视节目中充满了这样的场景。
There's an entire industry of gangster rap.
黑帮说唱有一个完整的产业。
Today on our show, the allure of the mean friend and what is so alluring about them in the first place, explained.
今天，在我们的节目中，我们首先解释了卑鄙朋友的魅力以及他们的魅力所在。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, distributed by Public Radio International.
这是来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Our show today in four acts.
我们今天的演出分四幕。
Act One, Return to the Scene of the Crime.
第一幕，回到犯罪现场。
In that act, Jonathan Goldstein interrogates the girls, now grown up, who terrorized him and his classmates years ago in school, and finds that they can be just as scary as ever.
在那一幕中，乔纳森·戈尔茨坦审问了现在已经长大的女孩们，她们几年前在学校里恐吓过他和他的同学，并发现她们和以前一样可怕。
Act Two, Does Niceness Pay?
第二幕，善良有回报吗？
In that act, we conduct a little scientific experiment on tape, with hidden microphones, about whether niceness can triumph and be rewarded in a normal business setting, a setting that will surely be familiar to you.
在那一幕中，我们用隐藏的麦克风在磁带上进行了一个小科学实验，看看善良是否可以在正常的商业环境中获胜并获得回报，这种环境肯定是你所熟悉的。
Act Three, And What's Going On With You?
第三幕，你怎么了？
A case study in every word out of a friend's mouth meaning its exact opposite.
一个案例研究，从朋友嘴里说出的每一个词都意味着完全相反的意思。
Act Four, Keeping it in the Family.
第四幕，将其保留在家庭中。
In that act, Bernard Cooper's amazing story about the bill that he got from his own father for, well, the entire cost of his childhood.
在那一幕中，伯纳德·库珀讲述了他从自己父亲那里得到的账单的惊人故事，这笔账单是他童年的全部费用。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, Return to the Scene of the Crime.
第一幕，回到犯罪现场。
It wasn't hard for Jonathan Goldstein to find the girl who terrorized him in high school.
对乔纳森·戈德斯坦来说，找到高中时恐吓他的女孩并不难。
Up until a year ago, they were roommates.
直到一年前，他们还是室友。
Sometimes, when I'm talking with my friend Jackie Cohen, I will suddenly stop and just look at her.
有时，当我和我的朋友杰基·科恩谈话时，我会突然停下来，只是看着她。
I look at her as though I have only just then realized who it is I am sitting there talking with.
我看着她，好像我才意识到我坐在那里和谁说话。
Jackie Cohen, I will say, shaking my head in disbelief.
杰基·科恩，我会说，难以置信地摇着头。
Jackie Cohen.
杰基·科恩。
For you see, Jackie Cohen was the meanest, most popular girl in our junior high, a shepherd among sheep.
你看，杰基·科恩是我们初中里最卑鄙、最受欢迎的女孩，是羊群中的牧羊人。
Nowadays, Jackie Cohen and I are friends, good friends.
如今，杰基·科恩和我是朋友，好朋友。
In fact, for two years, we were roommates, during which time she was a very nurturing figure in my life, cooking for me, taking care of the bills, and doing most, if not all, of the cleaning.
事实上，我们做了两年室友，在那段时间里，她在我的生活中是一个非常有教养的人，为我做饭，照顾账单，并承担大部分（如果不是全部）清洁工作。
My domestic role was confined to stuff like drinking Jim Beam and keeping her up past her bedtime with my impression of Robert De Niro and Edith Bunker doing the lobster scene from Annie Hall.
我的家庭角色仅限于喝吉姆宾酒，让她熬夜，让我印象深刻的是罗伯特·德尼罗和伊迪丝·邦克在《安妮·霍尔》中扮演龙虾场景。
"Alvy, a lobster crawled into my purse."
“阿尔维，一只龙虾爬进了我的钱包。”
Just the same, sometimes when I feel like it, I can see her through the eyes of my grade 7 self.
同样，有时当我愿意的时候，我可以通过七年级的自己的眼睛看到她。
And when I do that and say the words "Jackie Cohen," it is as though it is no longer just the name of the woman before me, but a name for something famous, like a soft drink or a rock band.
当我这样做并说出“杰基·科恩”这个词时，就好像它不再只是我面前这个女人的名字，而是某个著名事物的名字，比如软饮料或摇滚乐队。
If I could go back in time and tell the young Jonathan Goldstein that one day he would be friends with the most popular girl at Western Laval Junior High, that young Jonathan Goldstein, taking in the utter absurdity of such a proposition, would laugh convulsively until his nose produced mucus and his eyeglasses needed adjusting.
如果我能回到过去，告诉年轻的乔纳森·戈德斯坦，有一天他会和西拉瓦尔初中最受欢迎的女孩成为朋友，年轻的乔纳森·戈德斯坦在意识到这一提议的荒谬性后，会抽搐地笑，直到他的鼻子流出粘液，他的眼镜需要调整。
Let me explain to you the power that was Jackie Cohen's.
让我向你解释一下杰基·科恩的力量。
So great was her authority that in grade 7, my best friend, Robert Ceolic, wore a three-piece suit to school with the intention of asking her out for souvlaki.
她的权威如此之大，以至于在七年级时，我最好的朋友罗伯特·西奥里克（Robert Ceolic）穿着三件套西装去学校，打算约她出去吃烤肉串。
I'll never forget the exhilarated look on his face as he ran back to our locker bank to tell me that, while Jackie Cohen had turned him down, she did say that they could be "hi, bye" friends.
我永远不会忘记当他跑回我们的储物柜库告诉我，虽然杰基·科恩拒绝了他，但她确实说他们可以成为“嗨，再见”朋友时，他脸上兴奋的表情。
This meant that when they saw each other in the halls, they could nod to each other, hi and bye.
这意味着当他们在大厅里见到对方时，他们可以互相点头，打招呼，再见。
Robert loosened his necktie like a middle-aged ad exec who had just closed an important account.
罗伯特松开了领带，就像一个刚刚关闭了一个重要账户的中年广告主管一样。
Another thing was that Jackie Cohen didn't like bad smells.
另一件事是杰基·科恩不喜欢难闻的气味。
She liked nice smells, like perfumed fancy erasers or freshly mimeographed sheets of paper.
她喜欢好闻的气味，比如带有香味的精美橡皮擦或新油印的纸。
So if someone's smell was not to her taste, she would leave a note on their desk.
因此，如果某人的气味不合她的口味，她会在他们的桌子上留下一张纸条。
The note would read, "You smell.
纸条上写着：“你闻起来有味道。
Use deodorant." Jackie Cohen would call it being honest.
使用除臭剂。”杰基·科恩称其为诚实。
Jackie Cohen was also the only 13-year-old girl in school who could actually pull off a successful withering look.
杰基·科恩 (Jackie Cohen) 也是学校里唯一一位能够成功打造出枯萎造型的 13 岁女孩。
There was a month where I sat behind her, and one time during a French dictation, I was seized with an uncontrollable attack of coughing.
有一个月，我坐在她身后，有一次在听法语时，我突然无法控制地咳嗽。
It would later be diagnosed as a whooping cough that would leave me in bed for a week with a fever of 103.
后来我被诊断为百日咳，发烧到 103 度，卧床一周。
But at that moment, it was nothing more, nothing less, than a nuisance to Jackie.
但在那一刻，这对杰基来说无异于一种滋扰。
She let me know this by whipping her head around, her straight brown hair lashing about like a thousand throwing stars, and witheringly looking me straight in the eye.
她转过头来让我知道这一点，她的棕色直发像一千颗流星一样甩动着，并且直视着我的眼睛。
Jackie turned back around, and I grit my teeth, vowing not to allow a single cough to escape my mouth.
杰基转过身来，我咬紧牙关，发誓不让任何咳嗽逸出嘴里。
My eyes tearing, I clenched my fists, and I trembled.
我的眼睛流着泪，我握紧了拳头，浑身发抖。
I knew, objectively speaking, that Jackie Cohen's [NON-ENGLISH] was more important than my own health.
客观地说，我知道杰基·科恩的[非英语]比我自己的健康更重要。
I knew that.
我知道这一点。
The teacher, finally seeing my condition, sent me out to get some water.
老师终于看到了我的情况，就让我出去拿水了。
At the fountain, just as I was about to drink, my knees buckled, and I began to throw up.
到了喷泉边，正当我要喝水的时候，我的膝盖一软，开始呕吐。
I wasn't the kind of kid who vomited much, and the experience felt very personal, sort of like crying in your underwear.
我不是那种经常呕吐的孩子，这种经历感觉非常个人化，有点像穿着内衣哭泣。
The special ed teacher in the room next to the bathroom came out and walked me back to my class.
浴室旁边房间里的特殊教育老师走了出来，送我回教室。
Jackie, who sat beside the door, as was the wanton responsibility of the most popular, let me in.
坐在门边的杰基，就像是最受欢迎的肆意负责的人一样，让我进去了。
Seeing me, she gave me this look-- not the withering look I had grown accustomed to, but another look, a look then, until then, I'd only seen on the face of adults.
看到我，她给了我这样的表情——不是我已经习惯的那种枯萎的表情，而是另一种表情，那时的表情，在那之前，我只在成年人的脸上看到过。
It was a look of profound pity.
那是一种深深的怜悯之色。
I saw in that look a sorrow for everything she had ever put me through, and for years, I held that look close to my heart.
我从她的表情中看到了对她让我经历的一切的悲伤，多年来，我一直把这种表情放在心上。
Jackie had really good hair.
杰基的头发真的很好。
Jonathan Goldstein This is Marie-Claude.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 这是玛丽·克劳德。
She was Jackie's best friend all through school, and they're still best friends now.
她是杰基整个学校最好的朋友，现在他们仍然是最好的朋友。
Very good hair.
非常好的头发。
Nicely layered, kind of feathered.
层次分明，有羽毛感。
And she had a special technique.
而且她有一种特殊的技术。
Well, first of all, she always walked around with a comb in her back pocket that stuck out for all to see.
嗯，首先，她走路时总是在后面的口袋里放着一把梳子，让所有人都能看到。
And we'd go to the bathroom.
我们会去洗手间。
A big part of the day, of course, was going to the bathroom.
当然，一天的大部分时间都是去洗手间。
And she had a special technique.
而且她有一种特殊的技术。
She'd bend her head over.
她会低下头。
She'd count 1, 2, 3, and then take her two index fingers and say, flip, and flip her hair back.
她会数1、2、3，然后用两个食指说，翻转，然后将头发向后翻转。
And then it would fall.
然后它就会掉下来。
The feathers would all fall beautifully in place.
羽毛会全部漂亮地落在适当的位置。
What was Jackie Cohen's allure?
杰基科恩的魅力是什么？
Did people like her despite the fact that she was mean?
尽管她很刻薄，人们还是喜欢她吗？
Or did they like her because she was so mean?
或者他们喜欢她是因为她太刻薄了？
I think it was a bit of both.
我认为两者兼而有之。
Because when you were with her, you felt really alive.
因为当你和她在一起的时候，你会感觉自己真的活着。
And she was so fun, and she was so full of life, so it was great being with her.
她很有趣，而且充满活力，所以和她在一起真是太好了。
But then before you knew it, you were on the outs.
但在你意识到之前，你就已经出局了。
She was looking for a certain quality, and if you didn't have it, you got kicked out.
她正在寻找某种品质，如果你没有这种品质，你就会被赶出去。
So it was also maybe the fun excitement of never knowing when your turn was going to come to be on the outs.
所以这也可能是一种有趣的兴奋，因为永远不知道什么时候轮到你出局。
And you were always trying to do your best to stay on the inside.
而你总是尽力留在里面。
So it was pretty exciting.
所以这非常令人兴奋。
Did she ever-- I mean, did my name ever come up in junior high?
她有没有——我的意思是，我的名字在初中时出现过吗？
Did she ever mention my name?
她有没有提过我的名字？
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
I remember a time.
我记得有一次。
You were new to school.
你是新来的学校。
You were the new kid, and I wanted to go over to talk to you.
你是新来的，我想过去和你谈谈。
And Jackie said, no, don't go talk to him, Marie.
杰基说，不，别去跟他说话，玛丽。
Don't talk to him.
别和他说话。
He looks dirty.
他看起来很脏。
She thought I looked dirty?
她觉得我看起来很脏吗？
Marie-Claude Yeah, she did.
玛丽-克洛德 是的，她做到了。
Yeah, that you looked dirty.
是的，你看起来很脏。
You were the dirty-looking new kid.
你是那个看上去脏兮兮的新来的孩子。
OK, first of all, the new kid.
好吧，首先是新来的孩子。
The party Marie-Claude is referring to is in grade 6.
玛丽-克劳德所指的聚会是六年级的。
I had been going to that school since grade 3.
我从三年级起就去那所学校了。
I was in the same school as them, evidently completely unnoticed, for three years-- and second of all, dirty.
我和他们在同一所学校，显然完全不被人注意，三年了——其次，肮脏。
Although my boyhood toilette was second to none, and although I was facially hairless, for some strange reason, I gave off the distinct impression of having a 5 o'clock shadow all over my body.
虽然我小时候的梳妆打扮是首屈一指的，虽然我脸上没有毛发，但出于某种奇怪的原因，我给人的感觉是全身有一个五点钟的阴影。
So I decided to confront the slanderous accusations at their source.
所以我决定从根源上正视这些诽谤性的指控。
Ladies and gentlemen, Jackie Cohen.
女士们先生们，杰基·科恩。
Jackie Cohen.
杰基·科恩.
Jackie Cohen Jon, please don't tell me the whole interview is going to be like this.
杰基·科恩·乔恩，请不要告诉我整个采访会是这样的。
I asked Jackie Cohen if she remembered calling me dirty and new to Marie-Claude, and she said she did.
我问杰基·科恩是否记得曾说过我是玛丽·克劳德的新人、肮脏的人，她说记得。
I then asked her to repeat the very line to me, right to my face.
然后我让她当着我的面向我重复这句话。
You know what I said.
你知道我说什么。
Jonathan Goldstein Come on.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 来吧。
Why don't you say it?
你为什么不说呢？
Jonathan Goldstein All right.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 好的。
I will.
我会。
All right, fine.
好吧，好吧。
Jonathan Goldstein [LAUGHS]
乔纳森·戈德斯坦[笑]
[LAUGHS] Jonathan Goldstein You said, don't talk to him because he's dirty.
[笑] 乔纳森·戈德斯坦 你说过，不要和他说话，因为他很脏。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Jonathan Goldstein Well, maybe I was dirty.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 好吧，也许我很脏。
You were.
你是。
And you still are.
而你仍然如此。
Jonathan Goldstein Jackie Cohen and I spent a very combative hour talking, during which time she would not admit to any actual meanness.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦杰基·科恩和我花了一个非常好斗的时间交谈，在此期间她不承认有任何真正的卑鄙行为。
The furthest she would go in making any kind of concession was in acknowledging that back then, she, quote, "took care of business"-- a whole lot of business.
她所做出的任何让步，最多就是承认当时，用她的话说，“照顾了生意”——一大堆生意。
Listen, no one's on trial, OK?
听着，没有人受审，好吗？
We're here, just two friends chatting.
我们在这里，只有两个朋友在聊天。
[LAUGHS] Jonathan Goldstein No, Jackie Cohen did not think she was mean in school.
[笑]乔纳森·戈德斯坦 不，杰基·科恩并不认为她在学校很刻薄。
Take the whole story of Robert Ceolic asking her out in junior high.
以初中时罗伯特·西奥里克约她出去的整个故事为例。
You know, Mr. Hi, Bye.
你知道，先生。嗨，再见。
And she stood firmly behind her actions.
她坚定地支持自己的行为。
Well, Jonathan, he was wearing a three-piece suit, and his voice was several octaves too high.
嗯，乔纳森，他穿着三件套，声音高了好几个八度。
What am I going to say to the guy?
我要对那个家伙说什么？
Yes?
是的？
And-- and not only did I tell him no, but I left him with his dignity.
而且——我不仅拒绝了他，而且还保留了他的尊严。
I actually had him thinking that we had a good thing going.
我实际上让他认为我们进展顺利。
We were going to be "hi, bye" friends.
我们将成为“嗨，再见”的朋友。
So what you're saying is that-- you're defending it.
所以你的意思是——你在捍卫它。
You're saying it was actually-- it's a nice thing that you did.
你是说这实际上是你所做的一件好事。
It was very nice.
非常好。
Wasn't he very happy when he came into the room?
他进房间的时候不是很高兴吗？
He was happy, but I mean, he didn't know any better.
他很高兴，但我的意思是，他不知道更多。
Exactly.
确切地。
You want me to go on a date with that guy?
你想让我和那个家伙约会吗？
Feel the way that laugh shivers you down to your toes?
感觉到笑声让你浑身发抖吗？
The way it taunts as it entices?
它如何嘲讽和诱惑？
That is the effect of a popular mean girl's laughter.
这就是流行的刻薄女孩的笑声的效果。
The truth is that Jackie Cohen is no longer a popular mean girl at all.
事实上，杰基·科恩根本不再是一个受欢迎的刻薄女孩。
She's actually a doctor who works with the homeless.
她实际上是一名为无家可归者服务的医生。
She's a really good person.
她真是一个好人。
But I still can't help relating to her as though the old Jackie Cohen is still somewhere buried inside of her.
但我仍然情不自禁地与她产生联系，就好像旧的杰基·科恩仍然埋藏在她内心的某个地方。
Let me ask you this.
让我问你这个。
What happens to the mean girl?
那个卑鄙的女孩会怎样？
Is the mean always there?
平均值总是存在吗？
Jackie Cohen Jon, these questions are boring, man.
杰基·科恩·乔恩，这些问题很无聊，伙计。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Oh, you don't like that one.
哦，你不喜欢那个。
That's OK.
没关系。
OK.
好的。
OK, let's do a little bit of role-playing, shall we?
好吧，让我们来玩一下角色扮演，好吗？
OK?
好的？
You're going to be the grade 8 Jackie Cohen, and I'm going to be the grade 8 Jonathan Goldstein, OK?
你将成为八年级的杰基·科恩，我将成为八年级的乔纳森·戈德斯坦，好吗？
And I'm in the Western Laval Junior High Radio Club.
我是西拉瓦尔初中无线电俱乐部的成员。
[LAUGHS] Jonathan Goldstein And I'm sitting down to interview you.
[笑] 乔纳森·戈德斯坦 我正坐下来采访你。
All right?
好的？
OK, here we go.
好的，我们开始吧。
[LAUGHS] OK, yeah.
[笑]好吧，是的。
Jonathan Goldstein Um, Jackie?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 嗯，杰基？
Yeah?
是的？
Jonathan Goldstein Can I have a bit of your time to interview you?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 我可以抽出一点时间采访一下您吗？
I'm busy.
我很忙。
Jonathan Goldstein But you're just--
乔纳森·戈德斯坦但你只是——
But thank you.
但谢谢你。
Jonathan Goldstein But you're just leaning against the locker.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦：但是你只是靠在储物柜上。
You're not--
你不是——
But thank you, Jonathan.
但谢谢你，乔纳森。
I'm really not interested.
我实在没兴趣。
No, you see, you wouldn't even be that polite.
不，你看，你甚至不会那么有礼貌。
You're right.
你说得对。
Honestly, I would have laughed and walked away.
老实说，我会笑着走开。
You see, this was the Jackie Cohen that I never got to talk to anymore.
你看，这就是我再也没有机会与之交谈的杰基·科恩。
She's never like this.
她从来不是这样的。
I mean, sure, she's always eager to let me know when someone in the room smells better than me, and she's quick to point out that my pasty white gut jiggles when I play air guitar.
我的意思是，当然，当房间里有人闻起来比我好时，她总是渴望让我知道，而且她很快指出，当我弹空气吉他时，我那苍白的肠子会摇晃。
But it always feels like a mere taste of the greatness that once was.
但总感觉只是尝到了曾经的伟大。
So we continued to parry and thrust our way along.
于是我们继续招架，继续前行。
Is this over yet?
这已经结束了吗？
Jonathan Goldstein And eventually, the subject came around to Jackie's older sister, Maureen.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 最终，这个话题转到了杰基的姐姐莫琳身上。
Now, let me just explain to you Maureen.
现在，让我向你解释一下莫琳。
As mean and popular as Jackie Cohen was, Maureen Cohen was more mean and more popular.
与杰基·科恩一样刻薄、受欢迎，莫琳·科恩则更刻薄、更受欢迎。
Well, my sister definitely taught me some of the tricks of the trade by being very, very, very cruel with me and very bossy and very demanding.
嗯，我姐姐确实教会了我一些这个行业的技巧，她对我非常、非常、非常残酷，而且非常专横、要求很高。
She would say that, really, she was doing me a big favor, because without her, I would never have made it in this world, that I was just such a boring, nice little kid.
她会说，真的，她帮了我一个大忙，因为没有她，我永远不会在这个世界上取得成功，我只是一个无聊而可爱的小孩子。
And she added a lot of spice to my life.
她给我的生活增添了很多情趣。
In the pursuit of my mean, popular girls scholarship, I knew I now had to talk with Maureen.
为了追求我卑鄙、受欢迎的女孩奖学金，我知道我现在必须和莫琳谈谈。
I was not in the same city as her, so I asked my friend Joshua Carpatty if he would be good enough to go to her house and hold a mic to her while we talked on the phone.
我和她不在同一个城市，所以我问我的朋友约书亚·卡帕蒂是否愿意去她家，在我们打电话时对她拿着麦克风。
Josh has been scared of Maureen for years, and here he was sitting with her in her living room, while her seven-year-old played on the floor at their feet.
乔什多年来一直害怕莫琳，现在他和她一起坐在她的客厅里，而她七岁的孩子在他们脚下的地板上玩耍。
As Maureen provided a rare behind-the-scenes glimpse of her thoughts and actions, Josh sat just a few inches from her, a microphone gripped in his sweaty, nervous hand.
当莫琳难得一睹她的想法和行为的幕后花絮时，乔什坐在离她只有几英寸的地方，出汗、紧张的手中握着麦克风。
And as I talked with her, Maureen acknowledged that she had been mean in high school.
当我和莫琳交谈时，她承认她在高中时很刻薄。
She made no bones about it.
她对此毫不掩饰。
And to her, there was nothing to regret.
而对于她来说，也没有什么可后悔的。
It was high school, and that's just how people acted.
那是高中，人们就是这么做的。
So what, you have this image of me of being really mean all the time?
那又怎么样，你对我的印象是一直都很刻薄吗？
But in an alluring way.
但以一种诱人的方式。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
People crave it somehow.
人们以某种方式渴望它。
Obviously, it works.
显然，它有效。
Well, some people like to be abused.
好吧，有些人喜欢被虐待。
And you just tap into it, you know?
你只需点击它，你知道吗？
Right.
正确的。
And then you satisfy that craving that they're not even entirely aware of.
然后你就满足了他们甚至没有完全意识到的渴望。
That's right.
这是正确的。
Jonathan Goldstein Well, how do you detect that?
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 那么，你是如何发现这一点的呢？
I don't know.
我不知道。
You talk to someone, and you just feel whether or not you can play with them or not.
你和某人交谈，你只是感觉你是否可以和他们一起玩。
Like, I think Josh loves the fact that I pay that kind of attention to him.
就像，我认为乔什喜欢我对他的这种关注。
Josh, the young man who's holding the microphone for you right now?
乔什，那个正在为你拿着麦克风的年轻人？
Yeah, who's so scared, he won't even look at me.
是啊，谁这么害怕，连看都不看我一眼。
At this point, I started to get worried for Joshua.
这时，我开始为约书亚担心。
He had been reluctant even to go to Maureen's house, so I knew that at that point, as Maureen spoke his name, he was a shaky, disoriented mess.
他甚至不愿意去莫琳家，所以我知道，当莫琳说出他的名字时，他浑身颤抖，迷失了方向。
Can you ask Josh if he's nervous with you right now?
你能问问乔什现在对你是否感到紧张吗？
Josh, are you nervous around me right now?
乔什，你现在在我身边紧张吗？
He doesn't want to answer because I'm here.
他不想回答，因为我在这儿。
Can you just put him on the phone for one second so I can ask him?
你可以让他接电话一秒钟，以便我可以问他吗？
Yeah.
是的。
Here, hold on.
在这里，坚持住。
He wants to ask you a question.
他想问你一个问题。
Can you talk-- are you afraid to talk in front of her?
你能说话吗——你害怕在她面前说话吗？
You know.
你知道。
Jonathan Goldstein You're afraid.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦：你害怕了。
Just say yes if you're afraid.
如果你害怕就说“是”。
Yes.
是的。
Jonathan Goldstein OK.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 好的。
Has she got you on your guard?
她让你警惕起来了吗？
Yeah, sure.
是的，当然。
Yeah, yeah.
是啊是啊。
Jonathan Goldstein When I was finished speaking with Maureen, I called Josh up on his cell phone, and he talked with me from his car.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦（Jonathan Goldstein）：当我与莫林交谈完毕后，我用手机给乔什打了电话，他在车里与我交谈。
It's so [BLEEP] hot in this car.
这辆车里太热了。
I'm telling you, man, you should be paying me extra.
我告诉你，伙计，你应该额外付钱给我。
I got to tell you, it a little intimidating.
我得告诉你，这有点吓人。
There's a certain type of woman, usually either Jackie or related to Jackie, that really-- they know how to put me in my place.
有某种类型的女人，通常是杰基或与杰基有亲戚关系的女人，她们真的知道如何把我放在我的位置上。
So when she says that there are some people who crave to be abused, you would be one of those people?
那么当她说有些人渴望被虐待时，你会是其中之一吗？
She was looking directly at me when she said that.
她说这句话时直视着我。
She was looking directly at me, and she was pointing at me with her index finger.
她直视着我，并用食指指着我。
Not a lot of mystery there.
那里没有太多神秘之处。
But why this allure?
但为什么有这样的吸引力呢？
Why are we so drawn to these mean girls?
为什么我们对这些卑鄙的女孩如此着迷？
Because they know.
因为他们知道。
They look at you, and they know.
他们看着你，他们就知道了。
Other women who are nice or who are too timid, they try to pretend that you're not who you are, which is garbage.
其他友善或太胆怯的女人会试图假装你不是原来的你，这是垃圾。
But someone like Maureen and Jackie, they look right at you and say, I know you're garbage.
但像莫琳和杰基这样的人，他们会直视你并说，我知道你是垃圾。
You know you're garbage.
你知道你是垃圾。
Why pretend, you know?
为什么要假装，你知道吗？
I'm never going with you.
我永远不会和你一起走。
I'm marrying the dentist.
我要嫁给牙医了
I'm not even going to look at you.
我什至都不会看你一眼。
And you're going to come over to my house, which is the biggest house I've ever seen in my entire [BLEEP] life.
你要去我家，这是我一生中见过的最大的房子。
And you're going to say, you see this garbage?
你会说，你看到这些垃圾了吗？
This is what a real man provides for me.
这就是一个真正的男人为我提供的。
You come here and you tape me for your stupid friend's radio show, and then you get the hell out, while I pick up my children, whom I got through having sex with my dentist husband in my big [BLEEP] house.
你来到这里，为你愚蠢朋友的广播节目录下我的录像，然后你滚蛋，而我则去接我的孩子们，他们是我在我的大[BLEEP]房子里和我的牙医丈夫发生性关系而得到的。
Now get the [BLEEP] out, garbage.
现在把[BLEEP]拿出来，垃圾。
Out!
出去！
Well, I mean, with you, she thinks of you as a harmless eccentric, like a 90-year-old English guy puttering about in his garden.
嗯，我的意思是，和你在一起，她认为你是一个无害的怪人，就像一个在花园里闲逛的 90 岁英国老人。
Me, she sees like an unwelcome dog turd that somebody's trekked in from outside.
我，在她看来就像是有人从外面跋涉进来的不受欢迎的狗屎。
And it hurts me.
这让我很受伤。
It really hurts me.
这真的让我很痛苦。
I mean, I think it would be too strong to say that I love Maureen, but I love Maureen.
我的意思是，我认为说我爱莫琳有点过分，但我爱莫琳。
[LAUGHS] Josh Carpatty I-- yeah.
[笑]乔什·卡帕蒂我——是的。
Want equals fear.
想要等于恐惧。
Look, Jon, I'm not a sociologist.
听着，乔恩，我不是社会学家。
I don't know what's going on.
我不知道发生了什么事。
I'm a piece of garbage to her, and it makes me want to just crawl up next to her like a flea on a tick on a tick on a dog.
我对她来说就是一块垃圾，这让我想像跳蚤粘在狗身上的蜱虫上一样爬到她身边。
You know?
你知道？
I just want some of that good, good blood, even if it's my own blood.
我只是想要一些非常好的血液，即使是我自己的血液。
What about when Jackie said that saying that you could be "hi, bye" friends is actually a nice thing?
当杰基说说你们可以成为“嗨，再见”朋友实际上是一件好事时怎么样？
What did you think of that?
你对此有何看法？
To that guy who asked her out.
致那个约她出去的男人。
"Hi, bye" friends?
“嗨，再见”朋友们？
You know what "hi, bye" friends really means?
你知道“嗨，再见”朋友的真正含义是什么吗？
It means that when that guy went home later that night and hanged himself, that's the sound the rope made.
这意味着当那个人那天晚上晚些时候回家并上吊自杀时，这就是绳子发出的声音。
Hi, bye, hi, bye, hi, bye, hi, bye.
嗨，再见，嗨，再见，嗨，再见，嗨，再见。
Jackie Cohen.
杰基·科恩.
Jackie Cohen.
杰基·科恩.
Do you miss that person that was able to do those kinds of things?
你想念那个能够做到这些事情的人吗？
[SIGHS] No, but I think you do.
[叹气]不，但我想你是这样的。
I think you miss the mean Jackie Cohen.
我想你想念卑鄙的杰基·科恩。
I think you really do.
我认为你确实如此。
You inquire about her a lot.
你经常询问她的情况。
I think you do.
我想你会的。
Is the sky that unleashes a bolt of lightning into the forehead of a friendly woodsman mean?
天空向友善的樵夫的额头发出一道闪电，这是否意味着卑鄙？
Is it mean of the ravenous lion to devour the frightened zebra?
饥饿的狮子吃掉受惊的斑马是卑鄙的吗？
As the first terrible bites sink into his legs and stomach, does the zebra look into the lion's eyes as though to say, why are you doing this to me, friend?
当斑马第一口可怕的咬伤陷入腿和胃时，斑马是否会看着狮子的眼睛，仿佛在说，朋友，你为什么要这样对我？
And why, by my very nature, have I demanded it?
出于我的本性，我为何要求这样做？
When I bring all this up with Jackie, I realize that only the zebra would do a story like this.
当我向杰基提起这一切时，我意识到只有斑马才会讲这样的故事。
The lion could care less.
狮子不在乎。
Jonathan Goldstein is a contributing editor to our program and host of Wiretap on CBC Radio One, and also available now on some public radio stations in this country.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 是我们节目的特约编辑，也是 CBC Radio One 节目《Wiretap》的主持人，现在该节目也可在该国的一些公共广播电台收听。
Act 2, Does Niceness Pay?
第二幕，善良有回报吗？
OK, sure.
好的，当然。
Niceness might not get you the most friends in high school.
友善可能不会让你在高中获得最多的朋友。
Niceness might not help your career in the NFL, or on the trading floor of the New York Stock Exchange, or in any super-competitive line of work.
友善可能对你在 NFL、纽约证券交易所交易大厅或任何竞争超级激烈的工作领域的职业生涯没有帮助。
But you would think that there might be a place for it somewhere, like, for instance, waitressing.
但你可能会认为某个地方可能有它的用武之地，例如，女服务员。
The whole point of the job is to help somebody else.
这项工作的全部意义就是帮助别人。
Well, consider this story.
好吧，考虑一下这个故事。
A waitress in Chicago named Troy Morris was working a Friday night shift with another waitress, Amy Rigali.
芝加哥的一位名叫特洛伊·莫里斯的女服务员正在与另一位女服务员艾米·里加利一起上周五夜班。
Here's Troy.
这里是特洛伊。
I worked with her Friday night, and she was almost in tears because the tips, just for the last week, have been horrible, horrible, horrible.
周五晚上我和她一起工作，她几乎哭了，因为上周的小费太可怕了，太可怕了，太可怕了。
She's getting less than 15%.
她的得票率还不到15%。
And so she couldn't stop thinking about it.
所以她无法停止思考这个问题。
And just every check, she'd look at it and just be like, I can't believe it.
每一张支票，她都会看着它，然后说，我简直不敢相信。
And she's just like, I can't do this anymore.
她就像，我不能再这样做了。
Look at it.
看看它。
People hate me.
人们讨厌我。
This is Amy.
这是艾米。
Amy Rigali I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
艾米·里加利我不知道我做错了什么。
I'm trying so hard to do everything perfect.
我很努力地把每件事都做到完美。
And all of these people are tipping me below.
所有这些人都在给我小费。
It made no sense.
这毫无意义。
She'd been there for years, longer than anybody, knew the menu better, gave very quick service.
她已经在那里很多年了，比任何人都长，更了解菜单，提供非常快捷的服务。
And on the niceness scale, here's the word Troy uses to describe Amy.
在友善程度方面，这是特洛伊用来形容艾米的词。
Super helpful.
超级有帮助。
She's the sweetest person and smiles and is patient and caring.
她是最可爱的人，笑容满面，很有耐心，很有爱心。
On Sunday, Amy worked again.
周日，艾米又开始工作了。
And this time, Amy says, her attitude was different.
艾米说，这一次她的态度有所不同。
I definitely went into it with this attitude of giving up, just like, I wash my hands of this.
我绝对是以这种放弃的态度进入的，就像我不再这样做一样。
I'm just going to serve them and walk away.
我只是去服务他们然后走开。
Because I was so frustrated.
因为我很沮丧。
They were great.
他们很棒。
They were, a lot of them, over 20% It was wild.
他们中的很多人，超过 20% 都是野生的。
And I came in, because we switch shifts.
我进来了，因为我们换班了。
Like, she's getting off when I'm coming on.
就像，当我上场时她就下车了。
And she's just totally beaming, really happy.
她真的很开心，非常开心。
I made great tips.
我提出了很好的建议。
She's like, I can't believe it.
她说，我简直不敢相信。
Now I know what to do.
现在我知道该怎么做了。
[LAUGHS]
[笑]
Yeah.
是的。
Just not care.
只是不在乎。
Ira Glass We can actually quantify exactly how much niceness was costing Amy.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）：我们实际上可以准确地量化艾米因友善而付出的代价。
The difference between 15% tips and 20% tips works out to around $50 per shift.
每班 15% 的小费和 20% 的小费之间的差额约为 50 美元。
Is it possible that any waitress could make more money by being less nice?
有没有可能某个女服务员通过不那么友善来赚更多的钱？
We decided to do a little experiment to find out.
我们决定做一个小实验来找出答案。
We would wire two waitresses with hidden microphones and then have them be super nice to half their tables and cool, aloof, with the other half.
我们会给两名女服务员配备隐藏式麦克风，然后让她们对一半的桌子超级友善，而对另一半则冷漠、冷漠。
They'd give equally good service to both tables.
他们会为两张桌子提供同样优质的服务。
[RESTAURANT CHATTER] We did our experiment in the restaurant where Troy and Amy work, Lula Cafe in Chicago's Logan Square.
[餐厅闲聊] 我们在特洛伊和艾米工作的餐厅（位于芝加哥洛根广场的卢拉咖啡馆）进行了实验。
It's the kind of place that everybody always wants to have in their neighborhood-- small, wonderful food that is also very cheap.
这是每个人都想在自己的社区里拥有的那种地方——小而美味的食物而且非常便宜。
Half the entrees cost $6 or so.
一半的主菜花费 6 美元左右。
There's Moroccan couscous.
还有摩洛哥蒸粗麦粉。
There's vegetarian sushi.
有素食寿司。
There are lots of carefully made sandwiches.
有很多精心制作的三明治。
And then there's this whole menu of higher-end specials every day, so it's possible to drop $20 on a grilled sea bass or organically raised lamb.
而且每天都有全套高端特色菜，所以花 20 美元就可以买一份烤鲈鱼或有机饲养的羊肉。
Amy had no interest in being wired for sound, but Troy was game.
艾米对声音没有兴趣，但特洛伊很感兴趣。
Like most of the staff, she's young-looking.
和大多数员工一样，她看上去很年轻。
She wore a neon zebra skirt and calf-high boots to work.
她穿着霓虹斑马裙和长筒靴去上班。
Her arms were bare so you could see her tattoos.
她的手臂裸露着，所以你可以看到她的纹身。
OK, that is really good.
好的，那真的很好。
It's a little bit of a lighter, brighter flavor.
它的味道有点清淡、明亮。
Here she is with one of the tables that she's being nice to, table number 4, warning them off a glass of wine that she thinks won't go with her meal.
在这里，她和她很友善的一张桌子（4 号桌）在一起，警告他们不要喝一杯她认为不适合用餐的葡萄酒。
So just so you know, it's a little bit on the sweet side.
所以你知道，这有点甜蜜的一面。
You want something fuller?
你想要更充实的东西吗？
Is that what you're thinking?
你是这么想的吗？
In two minutes, Troy has their whole story.
两分钟内，特洛伊就讲述了整个故事。
They're visiting from out of town.
他们是从外地来的。
They seem to be falling in love.
他们似乎正在坠入爱河。
And they found this very non-touristy, out-of-the-way place through careful research.
经过仔细研究，他们发现了这个非常不适合旅游、偏僻的地方。
She praises them on their homework.
她表扬他们的作业。
Good job, you guys.
干得好，你们。
Ira Glass Nice is her usual style as a waitress.
Ira Glass Nice是她作为女服务员的一贯风格。
She recommends specials.
她推荐特价菜。
She chats.
她聊天。
She's a sweetheart.
她是个甜心。
Being aloof took a little more effort for her.
保持冷漠对她来说需要付出更多的努力。
So table 2 that just sat down, normally, I would have already talked to them, but I'm making them wait a little while.
所以刚刚坐下的2号桌，通常情况下，我已经和他们谈过了，但我让他们等了一会儿。
When she finally goes to table 2, which has three serious-looking people in their 40s, she doesn't ask them how they are or if they have any questions about the menu.
当她最终走到 2 号桌时，那里坐着三个 40 多岁、表情严肃的人，她没有问他们过得怎么样，也没有问他们对菜单是否有任何疑问。
She doesn't recommend the sturgeon, which is her favorite, or anything else.
她不推荐她最喜欢的鲟鱼，也不推荐其他任何东西。
These are her first and practically only words to table 2.
这是她对表 2 说的第一句话，也是实际上唯一的一句话。
When they ask her to recommend a wine, she swallows and tells them--
当他们请她推荐一款酒时，她咽了口口水告诉他们——
You know what?
你知道吗？
All those red wines will go good with what you're getting, [CHUCKLES] quite honestly.
所有这些红酒都会与你所得到的相配，[笑]老实说。
And then there was the guy sitting at the bar alone, noticeably good-looking, reading The New York Times.
然后有一个人独自坐在酒吧里，看上去很英俊，正在读《纽约时报》。
Troy gave me the rundown.
特洛伊给了我概要。
He's a regular guy that always sits there.
他是一个总是坐在那里的普通人。
He orders a lot, and he never tips great.
他点的菜很多，但从来不给小费。
He always tips just exactly 15%.
他总是只给 15% 的小费。
Perfect for the experiment.
非常适合实验。
Usually, Troy liked talking with him.
平时，特洛伊很喜欢和他说话。
If she played it aloof, would her tip go up?
如果她冷漠行事，她的小费会增加吗？
She walked over, and he asked her what she was up to these days.
她走过去，他问她这些天在忙什么。
Oh, you know, working.
哦，你知道，工作。
Ira Glass Did you change your hair, he said.
艾拉·格拉斯，你换头发了吗，他说。
Is it different?
有什么不同吗？
Maybe I washed it.
也许是我洗过的吧。
Ira Glass And so hours pass.
艾拉·格拉斯 几个小时过去了。
People finish their meals.
人们吃完饭。
And when Troy starts collecting their money, the early results all seem to point in one direction.
当特洛伊开始收钱时，早期的结果似乎都指向一个方向。
Take table 2, the table she barely spoke with.
以 2 号桌为例，她几乎不说话。
Troy handed me their check.
特洛伊把他们的支票递给了我。
How does it look?
看起来怎么样？
Ira Glass OK, doing a little math here, table 2, 17.6% is what they tipped.
Ira Glass 好的，在这里做一下数学计算，表 2，17.6% 就是他们的小费。
Oh, really?
哦真的吗？
And I wasn't nice to them at all.
而且我对他们一点也不友善。
And yet-- Troy Morris They tipped over 15%, which is good.
然而—— Troy Morris 他们的小费超过了 15%，这很好。
I can't wait to see what table 5 tipped.
我迫不及待地想看看表 5 倾斜了什么。
Let me look.
让我看看。
Table 5 was the hardest table by far, very demanding.
表 5 是迄今为止最难的表，要求非常高。
And she was very attentive.
而且她非常细心。
Check this out.
看看这个。
Ira Glass OK, table 5, you were sucking up to.
Ira Glass 好吧，5号桌，你拍马屁了。
I've never--
我从来没有——
I was so nice to them.
我对他们很好。
Ira Glass I've never seen-- crazy.
我从未见过艾拉·格拉斯——疯狂。
I got them to-go food.
我给他们买了外带食物。
I picked out their wine.
我挑选了他们的酒。
I helped them--
我帮助了他们——
It was a lot.
这是很多。
Troy Morris --figure out what food they wanted.
特洛伊·莫里斯——弄清楚他们想要什么食物。
And look, it was $84, and I got $13 tip.
你看，价格是 84 美元，我得到了 13 美元的小费。
And I was so nice to them.
我对他们很好。
And they were the most demanding.
他们的要求是最高的。
And I spent the most time with them than anybody.
我和他们在一起的时间比任何人都多。
But the biggest revelation of the night came when Troy retrieved the check from that guy who was sitting at the bar.
但当特洛伊从坐在酒吧的那个人那里取回支票时，当晚最大的启示出现了。
I can't believe this.
我简直不敢相信这一点。
Look at this.
看看这个。
OK, remember the guy who I said, I'm always nice to him, but he always tips the minimal.
好吧，记住我说过的那个人，我总是对他很好，但他总是给很少的小费。
He tipped 20%.
他给了20%的小费。
I was mean to him for the first time.
我第一次对他这么刻薄。
Look at-- can you believe that?
看看——你能相信吗？
Wow.
哇。
He tips $5-- Troy Morris Over 20% never.
他给小费 5 美元——特洛伊·莫里斯 (Troy Morris) 超过 20% 的人从来不给小费。
That's never happened.
那从来没有发生过。
And it totally-- I can't believe it.
这完全是——我简直不敢相信。
That's hilarious.
太搞笑了。
But that's really disturbing.
但这确实令人不安。
I have to be mean to him now, more.
我现在必须对他更加刻薄。
By the end of the first night, it seemed pretty clear.
第一个晚上结束时，情况似乎已经很清楚了。
Aloofness pays.
冷漠是有代价的。
But then when I came back a second night and hooked up a second waitress with a hidden wireless microphone, I got very different results.
但第二天晚上，当我回来并用隐藏的无线麦克风连接第二位女服务员时，我得到了截然不同的结果。
The second waitress, Callie Roach, is 23 with super-short hair.
第二位女服务员卡莉·罗奇(Callie Roach)今年23岁，留着超短发。
She laughs that a local restaurant reviewer referred to her in the paper as a "waif-tress."
她笑着说，当地一家餐馆的评论员在报纸上称她为“流浪儿”。
And on her night, everyone tipped 20% or even a touch more.
在她当晚，每个人都给了 20% 甚至更多的小费。
That was true of the regulars who she was aloof to.
对于她冷漠的常客来说也是如此。
It was true of the man who Callie doted on who was taking his grown daughter out to dinner.
凯莉宠爱的那个男人带着他已经成年的女儿出去吃饭，情况就是如此。
It was true of the couple who Callie joked around with about their difficult-to-open bottle of wine.
凯莉和他们开玩笑说他们的酒瓶很难打开，这对夫妇就是这样。
After the struggle.
奋斗之后。
Callie Roach Yeah.
卡莉·罗奇 是的。
I've got little hand hickeys.
我手上有小吻痕。
I'm like, geez, this--
我就像，天啊，这个——
Even the other waitress working on Wednesday, Natalie, who does not have an aloof bone in her body, was getting 20% and more from every table.
即使是周三工作的另一位女服务员娜塔莉（Natalie），她身上并没有冷漠的骨头，她从每张桌子上得到的都是 20% 甚至更多。
And the more I talked to Callie and Troy and Amy and the rest of the staff, the more everyone agreed.
我和卡莉、特洛伊、艾米以及其他员工谈得越多，大家就越同意。
The majority of their customers are just set in their ways.
他们的大多数客户只是按照他们的方式行事。
They'll give whatever they always give in any restaurant like this to any server.
他们会把在任何一家餐馆里给的东西都给任何服务员。
Sure, you get a handful of customers like the guy Troy waited on at the bar who you can nudge this way or that through force of personality.
当然，你会遇到一些像特洛伊在酒吧侍候的那个人那样的顾客，你可以通过个性的力量这样或那样地推动他们。
But it's just a few tables every shift.
但每班只有几张桌子。
And that's all Troy and I were seeing that first night.
这就是特洛伊和我第一个晚上所看到的一切。
This is Natalie.
这是娜塔莉。
50% of the people will tip exactly the same, whether they get great service or-- they might tip a little less for lousy service.
50% 的人会给予完全相同的小费，无论他们得到优质的服务，还是因为糟糕的服务而少付一点小费。
But most people, they tip what they're going to tip.
但大多数人都会给他们想要给的小费。
Or I've noticed a lot of people just look at the first two numbers on the check and double it or round down.
或者我注意到很多人只是看支票上的前两个数字，然后将其加倍或四舍五入。
There's a pattern.
有一个模式。
And people tip the same.
人们也一样给小费。
I think, generally, if you're not chatty and overly nice, you'll still get the same tip.
我认为，一般来说，如果你不太健谈并且过于友善，你仍然会得到同样的小费。
Here's Callie.
这是卡莉。
Callie Roach You can just tell that people are going to tip you 18% because they got their food when they wanted it.
Callie Roach 您可以看出人们会给您 18% 的小费，因为他们在需要时得到了食物。
And it doesn't matter how much you're giggling and inquisitive.
无论你有多少咯咯笑声和好奇心，都没有关系。
Like Sundays, Sundays, I usually get tipped $4 or $5 every table.
像星期天一样，星期天，我每桌通常会得到 4 或 5 美元的小费。
Doesn't matter what I do.
我做什么都没关系。
Because of this, she says, she has a policy-- and she's only half-joking as she says this-- that she tries to limit the number of times that she smiles at customers or shows her approval to exactly two times.
她说，正因为如此，她有一个政策——她这么说只是半开玩笑——她尽量将对顾客微笑或表示认可的次数限制在两次。
Two times.
两次。
First time, when they place their order.
第一次，当他们下订单时。
She always tells them what a very fine choice they made, and then she smiles.
她总是告诉他们他们做出了多么明智的选择，然后她微笑着。
And then, at the end of the meal, she drops off the check, and she smiles a second time, as if to say, you see?
然后，在用餐结束时，她放下支票，再次微笑，好像在说，你明白了吗？
I do like you.
我确实喜欢你。
If it's done wrong, she says, friendliness not only will not pay, friendliness can cost you.
她说，如果做得不对，友善不仅不会带来回报，而且会让你付出代价。
Because if you're nice and enjoying yourself, they don't need to make you feel any better.
因为如果你很友善并且很享受，他们就不需要让你感觉更好。
They already think you're having a good time.
他们已经认为你玩得很开心了。
That's my theory, is they already think you're having a good time.
这是我的理论，他们已经认为你玩得很开心了。
Why are they going to tip you for having fun, you know?
为什么他们会给你小费，你知道吗？
If you're like-- if you're doing it just to get through it, they know that you're working.
如果你只是为了度过难关而这样做，他们就知道你在工作。
Troy and Amy have also decided that niceness has its limits.
特洛伊和艾米也认为善良也是有限度的。
For the first time in their years of waitressing, because of these discussions, in the last two weeks, they have both stopped knocking themselves out, running around for their most demanding tables.
由于这些讨论，在过去的两周里，她们俩第一次不再为自己最挑剔的餐桌而奔波劳累，这是她们当服务员多年以来的第一次。
They're efficient.
他们很有效率。
They're pleasant.
他们很令人愉快。
But that's it.
但仅此而已。
This is what they've learned.
这就是他们学到的。
It's not that aloofness pays.
这并不是冷漠的代价。
It's that niceness doesn't pay.
这就是善良没有回报。
Thanks to the owners of the Lula Cafe.
感谢卢拉咖啡馆的老板。
That first waitress, Troy Morris, and one of the owners of the cafe, Lea Tshields, were in the band Tallulah.
第一位女服务员 Troy Morris 和咖啡馆的老板之一 Lea Tshields 都是 Tallulah 乐队的成员。
This song is from the band's album, Step Into the Stars.
这首歌收录于乐队专辑《步入星星》中。
Coming up, if you seem so nice, why do I feel so bad?
来吧，如果你看起来那么好，为什么我感觉这么糟糕？
And more.
还有更多。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International, when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme, bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，为您带来关于该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, the allure of the mean friend.
今天的节目，小气朋友的诱惑。
What is it about?
这是关于什么的？
We've arrived at Act Three of our show.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Act Three, And What's Going On With You?
第三幕，你怎么了？
We have this from Mike Albo.
我们从迈克·阿尔博那里得到了这个。
You're here early.
你来得早啊
Oh, my god, do you have my scarf?
天哪，你有我的围巾吗？
Did you bring it?
你带来了吗？
No, that's OK.
不，没关系。
No, it's just that I got it in India when I was there, and it's just this really beautiful thing.
不，只是我在印度的时候得到了它，而且它真的很漂亮。
And I really treasure it.
我真的很珍惜它。
It's just really important to me.
这对我来说真的很重要。
It's not like the cheaply-made Barneys co-op stuff that you buy.
它不像你买的廉价巴尼斯合作公寓的东西。
I don't mean "you buy." I mean "you buy." Oh, I wish you would have remembered.
我的意思不是“你买”。我的意思是“你买”。哦，我希望你能记得。
No, that's OK.
不，没关系。
You're so flaky.
你真是太浮躁了
Are you sick?
你生病了吗？
You look sort of tired.
你看起来有点累了。
Is there something wrong?
有什么问题吗？
Oh, you went out drinking last night?
哦，你昨晚出去喝酒了？
It's so great how you can still do that.
你还能做到这一点真是太棒了。
You're so crazy.
你太疯狂了。
Did you throw up?
你吐了吗？
Oh, no, I just smelled throw up for a second.
哦，不，我只是闻到了呕吐物的味道。
OK, so I didn't want you to hear this from someone else, but I just made $2 million.
好吧，我不想让你从别人嘴里听到这个消息，但我刚刚赚了 200 万美元。
Yeah, so I'm pretty happy about it.
是的，所以我对此感到非常高兴。
My agent's pretty happy about it.
我的经纪人对此非常高兴。
It's just really lucky because with the recession, it's like I made my money before the apocalypse, and I'll be able to live comfortably.
这真的很幸运，因为随着经济衰退，我就像在世界末日之前赚了钱一样，我将能够过上舒适的生活。
It's just sort of locked in.
它只是有点被锁定了。
And I can't tell you about the details of the deal, but if you could just do me a huge, huge favor and just don't mention it to anyone.
我无法告诉你这笔交易的细节，但如果你能帮我一个很大很大的忙，不要向任何人提及。
I know you have a problem being discreet.
我知道你在谨慎方面有问题。
Oh, order something?
哦，订点东西吗？
Oh, no. No, I'm not drinking anymore.
哦，不。不，我不再喝酒了。
Oh, no. Go ahead.
哦，不。前进。
Have fun.
玩得开心。
I'm just not drinking anymore.
我只是不再喝酒了。
I just realized there's a little bit more to life.
我刚刚意识到生活还有更多意义。
But go ahead.
但继续吧。
Have fun.
玩得开心。
You're so crazy.
你太疯狂了。
So what's up with you?
那你怎么了？
Oh my god, when was the last time I saw you?
天哪，我最后一次见到你是什么时候？
I am totally hanging out with Tobey Maguire and Reese and Ryan and David Blaine.
我完全和托比·马奎尔、里斯、瑞安和大卫·布莱恩一起闲逛。
[CHUCKLES] We jokingly call it the Millionaires' Club.
[笑]我们开玩笑地称之为百万富翁俱乐部。
Oh, you know that children's book I wrote really fast for no reason, It's a Funny Sunny Day?
哦，你知道我无缘无故写得很快的儿童读物《这是一个有趣的阳光灿烂的日子》吗？
Well, I just found out it's selling like crazy and can barely stay on the shelves.
嗯，我刚刚发现它卖得很疯狂，几乎无法留在货架上。
And I got another voiceover gig.
我又得到了另一场配音演出。
It's weird.
很奇怪。
They just like my voice.
他们只是喜欢我的声音。
I don't even have to leave home.
我什至不必离开家。
I just call it in.
我只是打电话进去。
Oh, no, it's-- I just sort of fell into it.
哦，不，是——我只是陷入了其中。
You should try it.
你应该尝试一下。
But it's really hard to get into.
但真的很难进去。
But you should try it.
但你应该尝试一下。
You're looking for a place?
您在找地方吗？
Good luck.
祝你好运。
God, it's so hard to find a good place right now.
天哪，现在找个好地方太难了。
This guy called me and begged me to take his beautiful 4,000-square-foot loft space.
这个家伙打电话给我，恳求我占用他 4,000 平方英尺的漂亮阁楼空间。
It's $300, but he's actually paying me to live there forever.
虽然是 300 美元，但他实际上付钱让我永远住在那里。
So what's going on with you?
那你怎么了？
I think your body looks good.
我觉得你的身体看起来不错。
It's normal.
这很正常。
It's a normal body.
这是一个正常的身体。
Really?
真的吗？
Well, that's too bad.
嗯，那太糟糕了。
Well, I just feel like you need a little bit more confidence in yourself.
嗯，我只是觉得你需要对自己更有信心一点。
I feel like I'm a direct person.
我感觉我是一个很直接的人。
I say what I feel.
我说我的感受。
You're more-- you're more-- I don't know what you are.
你更多——你更多——我不知道你是什么。
But I have to say, I don't know how you do it.
但我不得不说，我不知道你是怎么做到的。
I'm so glad I'm not single.
我很高兴我不是单身。
It looks so hard.
看起来好难啊。
Oh, yeah.
哦，是的。
Yeah, I just ran into Carl.
是的，我刚刚遇到了卡尔。
No. He looks good.
不，他看起来不错。
He's good.
他很好。
He's good.
他很好。
Yeah, he says he hasn't talked to you.
是啊，他说他还没跟你说过话。
No. He seems like he's moving forward.
不，他似乎正在向前迈进。
I mean, you guys broke up, and he's just sort of moving on with his life.
我的意思是，你们分手了，而他只是继续他的生活。
He's in this really good relationship right now, and they just bought this huge, beautiful place upstate and they're fixing it up together.
他现在的关系非常好，他们刚刚在北部买下了这个巨大而美丽的地方，并且正在一起修复它。
We just had a really good time talking.
我们聊得很开心。
And you know what?
你知道吗？
He's been working out.
他一直在锻炼。
His body looks amazing.
他的身体看起来棒极了。
When you and Carl were going out, I never really understood why you liked him.
当你和卡尔约会时，我一直不明白你为什么喜欢他。
But now I totally do.
但现在我完全明白了。
So nothing's going on with you?
所以你没什么事吧？
[LAUGHS] No, I'm sorry.
[笑]不，我很抱歉。
I'm just remembering a funny joke that Carl told me.
我只是想起卡尔告诉我的一个有趣的笑话。
What?
什么？
No, I'm listening.
不，我在听。
An excerpt from Mike Albo's short story, "The Underminer." Mike Albo also has a longer work, a book called The Underminer that he co-wrote with Virginia Heffernan.
迈克·阿尔博的短篇小说《潜伏者》的节选。迈克·阿尔博（Mike Albo）还有一本较长的作品，他与弗吉尼亚·赫弗南（Virginia Heffernan）合着的一本名为《潜伏者》（The Underminer）的书。
Act Four, Keeping it in the Family.
第四幕，将其保留在家庭中。
Of course you can evade a mean friend.
当然，你可以逃避一个卑鄙的朋友。
A mean relative, however, is forever.
然而，卑鄙的亲戚却是永远的。
This next story is an excerpt from a much longer work by Bernard Cooper.
下一个故事摘自伯纳德·库珀的一部更长的作品。
This story follows Cooper's father as he eventually goes to a psychiatric hospital.
这个故事讲述了库珀的父亲最终被送往精神病院的故事。
But what happens in this part of the story takes place a while before that.
但故事的这一部分发生的事情发生在这之前一段时间。
The actor Josh Hamilton read it for us.
演员乔什·汉密尔顿为我们朗读了这首歌。
When I was 28 years old, my father sent me a bill for his paternal services.
当我 28 岁的时候，我父亲寄给我一张父亲服务账单。
Typed on his law firm's onion skin stationery, the bill itemized the money he'd spent on me over my lifetime.
账单是在他律师事务所的洋葱皮信纸上打印的，逐项列出了我一生中他在我身上花的钱。
Since he hadn't kept tabs on the exact amounts he'd doled out over the years, expenditures were rounded off to the nearest dollar and labeled food, clothing, tuition, and incidentals.
由于他没有记录多年来自己发放的确切金额，因此支出四舍五入到最接近的美元，并贴上食物、衣服、学费和杂费的标签。
Beneath the tally, in the firm but detached language common to his profession, he demanded that I pay him back.
在计数之下，他用他职业中常见的坚定但超然的语言要求我还钱。
The total was somewhere in the neighborhood of $2 million, an especially hefty sum in 1978.
总金额约为 200 万美元，这在 1978 年是一个特别大的数字。
I remember being impressed by the amount.
我记得对这个数额印象深刻。
What an expensive life I'd lived.
我过着多么昂贵的生活啊。
I was shocked and insulted, too, of course, not only because my father had made such a calculation, but because my life could be added up or reduced to a single figure.
当然，我也感到震惊和侮辱，不仅因为我父亲做了这样的计算，而且因为我的生命可以加起来或减到一个数字。
To see your existence in the form of a bill gives all your loves and fears and struggles the cumulative tumult of being human about as much poignancy as a check for a cup of coffee.
看到你的存在以一张账单的形式出现，你所有的爱、恐惧和挣扎都与人类累积的骚动一样，就像一杯咖啡的支票一样令人心酸。
It read, "Your obligations to your father, the party of the first part, are considerable.
上面写着：“你对你的父亲，即第一部分的一方，负有相当大的义务。
And the only way to impress upon you, the party of the second part, the necessity of compensating him for the fiscal burdens he bore on your behalf is to make his sacrifices evident in the form of the following, recorded herein as a legal and binding document.
让你（第二部分的一方）印象深刻的是，有必要补偿他为你承担的财政负担，就是以以下形式表明他的牺牲，并在此记录为具有法律约束力的文件。
Should you fail to make payment in full, this matter will result in actions for which I advise you to hire counsel."
如果您未能全额付款，这件事将导致采取行动，我建议您聘请律师。”
I double-checked his signature.
我仔细检查了他的签名。
It was his, all right, the letters rich with loops and convolutions.
好吧，这是他的字母，充满了循环和回旋。
Go ahead, I thought.
继续吧，我想。
Let him dun me.
让他催我。
See if I pay.
看看我是否付钱。
No parent in his right mind asks his child to reimburse him for that child's life.
没有一个头脑正常的父母会要求他的孩子偿还他孩子的生命。
I didn't ask to be born, I thought melodramatically.
我并没有要求出生，我戏剧性地想。
Besides, had I known I'd be charged for my boyhood, I might have eaten fewer snacks, been easier on my shoes, more frugal with my allowance.
此外，如果我知道我的童年会被收费，我可能会少吃零食，穿鞋更舒服，零用钱更节俭。
I couldn't help but dream up a doozy of a counterclaim, its itemizations even more preposterous than my father's.
我情不自禁地想出了一个愚蠢的反诉，其细节比我父亲的还要荒谬。
Chronic insecurity-- $90,000.
长期缺乏安全感——90,000美元。
Narcissistic wound-- $75,000.
自恋创伤——75,000美元。
Oedipal complex-- $7,000.
恋母情结——7000美元。
Since, of course, these damages were psychological in nature, it was both difficult and whimsical to assign them a monetary value.
当然，由于这些损害本质上是心理损害，因此给它们赋予货币价值既困难又异想天开。
But the punitive spirit of this counterclaim was gratifying, for a while, at least.
但这种反诉的惩罚精神至少在一段时间内是令人满意的。
Then the whole petty endeavor depressed me, and I thought, is this what we are to each other-- a flurry of demands that can't be met, hurts for which there's no restitution?
然后，这一切琐碎的努力让我感到沮丧，我想，这就是我们对彼此的意义吗——一连串无法满足的要求，无法弥补的伤害？
During the restless days and nights that followed, I couldn't settle on a convincing or comprehensible reason to explain why my father had sent me the bill, though I suspected the catalyst might have had something to do with his offer a few months earlier to buy me a new car.
在接下来的不安的日日夜夜里，我无法找到一个令人信服或可以理解的理由来解释为什么父亲给我寄了账单，尽管我怀疑这个催化剂可能与他几个月前提出给我买一辆新车有关。
He'd made the offer on a day I'd come to visit him at his Spanish house in Hollywood, the house in which I'd grown up.
他向我提出了这个邀请，那天我去他在好莱坞的西班牙房子里看望他，那是我长大的房子。
As I pulled into the driveway, he was busy watering birds of paradise in his front yard, sturdy orange flowers that he'd cultivated, to his constant astonishment, from a bed of drab gravel.
当我把车开进车道时，他正忙着给前院的天堂鸟浇水，这些花朵是他在土褐色砾石床上培育的坚固的橙色花朵，令他不断感到惊讶。
Back then, I drove a Fiat whose paint had oxidized to the overall color and texture of rust.
当时，我开的是一辆菲亚特，它的油漆已经氧化，整体颜色和纹理都生锈了。
The car sputtered as I shifted into park, and the sagging tailpipe, which I'd had to bind to the car's undercarriage with electrical tape, coughed a cloud of noxious exhaust.
当我进入停车位时，汽车发出噼啪声，我不得不用电工胶带将下垂的排气管绑在汽车的底盘上，喷出一团有毒的废气。
Just a year after I purchased the car with money from a small inheritance left me by my mother, it fell apart with an almost vengeful rapidity.
就在我用母亲留给我的一小笔遗产买下这辆车一年后，它就以几乎是报复性的速度崩溃了。
The vinyl upholstery of the bucket seats began to rub off on passengers' hands and thighs in sticky black patches.
桶形座椅的乙烯基内饰开始在乘客的手和大腿上留下粘稠的黑色斑点。
Soon, the seats were nothing but lumps of raw foam, and even those were crumbling like sponge cake.
很快，座椅就变成了一堆生泡沫，甚至连那些也像海绵蛋糕一样碎裂了。
One of the rear windows no longer rolled up, the pane trapped within the door.
其中一扇后窗不再卷起，玻璃卡在门内。
On cold nights, a stray dog made the backseat its home, leaving behind a legion of fleas to feast on my ankles as I drove around town.
在寒冷的夜晚，一只流浪狗在后座安了家，当我开车在城里转悠时，留下一大群跳蚤来吃我的脚踝。
It was humiliating to be seen inside the car, especially in Los Angeles.
被人看到在车里是一种耻辱，尤其是在洛杉矶。
When idling at a stoplight beside a purring sports car with rear stabilizers, anodized hubcaps, and a leather interior, I had to force myself to remember that an automobile does not a man make, and that I was a writer who placed a higher value on words than on material possessions, which is to say that I cultivated a hollow sense of superiority around new cars.
当我在红绿灯处怠速行驶，旁边是一辆带有后稳定器、阳极氧化轮毂盖和皮革内饰的跑车时，我不得不强迫自己记住，汽车不是人制造的，而且我是一个更看重文字而不是物质财富的作家，也就是说，我对新车培养了一种空洞的优越感。
My father sauntered toward the Fiat as I got out, peeking through the perpetually open window, despite my attempt to block his view.
当我下车时，父亲慢悠悠地朝菲亚特走去，尽管我试图挡住他的视线，但他还是透过永远开着的车窗往里看。
Stocky and balding in a state of continual agitation, my father was also capable of a tenderness that seemed to light him from within, and that stirred me like daybreak stirs a bird.
我的父亲身材矮胖，秃顶，处于持续激动的状态，但他也有一种温柔，似乎从内心照亮了他，这让我兴奋不已，就像黎明惊动小鸟一样。
"Hey," he said.
“嘿，”他说。
"Looks like you could use a new set of wheels."
“看起来你可以使用一套新的轮子。”
"I can't afford a new car," I told him.
“我买不起新车，”我告诉他。
I distinctly recall facing my father, his gardening clothes stained with grass and darkened by perspiration, and shaping my tone so that I sounded neither pitiful-- "I'm too poor"-- or petulant-- "I'll never be able to buy a new car."
我清楚地记得，我面对着父亲，他的园艺衣服沾满了青草，因汗水而变黑，我调整了语气，让我听起来既不可怜——“我太穷了”——也不任性——“我永远买不起新车。”
Before I knew it, my father and I were ensconced in his white El Dorado, gliding with the frictionless speed of a dream toward a Toyota dealership in West Covina, whose ads he'd seen on TV.
在我意识到这一点之前，我和父亲已经坐进了他的白色埃尔多拉多，以梦想般的无摩擦速度滑向西科维纳的一家丰田经销店，他在电视上看到过这家店的广告。
He pointed a stubby finger at his chest.
他用一根粗短的手指指着自己的胸口。
"Let me handle this," he said.
“让我来处理这件事，”他说。
"I've bought plenty of cars in my life, and I know how to deal with these bastards.
“我这辈子买了很多辆车，我知道如何对付这些混蛋。
You watch.
你看。
I'll beat them at their own game.
我会在他们自己的游戏中击败他们。
They won't know what hit them."
他们不会知道是什么击中了他们。”
On one hand, Dad's braggadocio made me feel invincible, as though I were in the company of a seasoned pro.
一方面，爸爸的吹牛让我感觉自己所向无敌，就好像我和一位经验丰富的职业选手在一起一样。
On the other hand, it relegated me to the role of admiring onlooker and suggested that I was too incompetent and naive to buy my own car, which was entirely true.
另一方面，它把我贬低为欣赏旁观者的角色，并暗示我太无能和天真，无法购买自己的汽车，这是完全正确的。
I floundered when it came to the treacherous etiquette of negotiating a major sale, a feat which required, it seemed to me, a keen mistrust of one's fellow men, coupled with a barely sublimated bloodlust.
当谈到一笔大买卖的谈判中的危险礼仪时，我陷入了困境，在我看来，这项壮举需要对同胞的强烈不信任，再加上几乎没有升华的嗜血欲望。
As far as I was concerned, getting gypped out of a few bucks was simply a built-in fee for avoiding confrontations with strangers.
就我而言，被骗几块钱只是为了避免与陌生人发生冲突而支付的内置费用。
I'd watched my father often enough to know that such transactions excited him into what can only be described as a rapture of antagonism.
我经常观察我的父亲，知道这样的交易会让他兴奋不已，只能用对抗的狂喜来形容。
He didn't mind yelling threats and pounding desks and generally hurling himself bodily into the arena of commerce.
他不介意大声威胁、敲打桌子，甚至全身心地投入商业领域。
Still, if a new car required me to be embarrassed by his aggression, bring on the blushing.
不过，如果一辆新车需要我因他的攻击性而感到尴尬，那就让我脸红吧。
And so I let myself relax into the plush bucket seat, cradled and safe as the caddy whizzed past slower traffic, huge and unassailable, as regal as a motorized mansion.
于是，我让自己在豪华的桶形座椅上放松下来，当球童呼啸而过缓慢的车流时，它既巨大又无懈可击，就像一座机动豪宅一样富丽堂皇。
As we walked across the asphalt lot of the Toyota dealership, triangular plastic pendants rippled and snapped in the breeze.
当我们走过丰田经销店的沥青地段时，三角形的塑料吊坠在微风中荡漾并折断。
I thanked Dad in advance and told him that I didn't need white walls and air conditioner or a radio.
我提前感谢了爸爸，并告诉他我不需要白墙、空调或收音机。
Basic transportation would be just fine.
基本交通就可以了。
He nodded and forged ahead, his stride martial, his shoulders squared.
他点点头，大步向前，肩膀挺直。
Secretly, I hoped my modest expectations might endear me to him even more.
私下里，我希望我的谦虚期望能让他更喜欢我。
Maybe he'd close the deal that very day, before his mood changed, before I said something that would inadvertently set him off, before he said "crap" or "bastard" to the dealer.
也许他会在那天就完成交易，在他的情绪发生变化之前，在我无意中说出一些会激怒他的话之前，在他对经销商说“废话”或“混蛋”之前。
My excitement was indistinguishable from panic.
我的兴奋与恐慌难以区分。
I wanted a beautiful new Toyota more desperately with every step.
我每前进一步都更加渴望拥有一辆漂亮的新丰田。
I wanted an end to the self-consciousness I felt on the road, an end to the shameful sense that the thunderous rumbling and rank exhaust were coming from my person, rather than my car.
我想要结束在路上感受到的自我意识，结束那种可耻的感觉，即雷鸣般的隆隆声和恶臭的废气来自我自己，而不是我的车。
The showroom felt bracingly cool after the heat of West Covina.
经过西科维纳的炎热天气后，陈列室感觉凉爽宜人。
Highlights glittered in the flawless paint jobs of the display models.
展示模型完美无瑕的喷漆工作中闪闪发光。
In the center of the room, a sleek new convertible turned around and around on an enormous platform, as if swooning to the muzak.
在房间的中央，一辆时尚的新型敞篷车在一个巨大的平台上转了一圈又一圈，仿佛陶醉在背景音乐中。
The second we entered, salespeople, sensing prey, rose from their desks and converged.
我们一进去，销售人员就察觉到了猎物，纷纷从办公桌上站起来，聚集到一起。
It occurred to me that we would be the prize for the fastest walker, the one whose handshake or hail greeting reached us first.
我突然想到，我们将成为步行速度最快的人的奖品，第一个向我们握手或问候的人。
The victor was a skinny man whose snug black suit lent him an eel-like iridescence.
胜利者是一个瘦骨嶙峋的男人，他穿着舒适的黑色西装，身上呈现出鳗鱼般的虹彩。
Or perhaps I was just seeing him as my father might-- slippery, unctuous, not to be trusted.
或者也许我只是像我父亲一样看待他——狡猾、油滑、不值得信任。
Dad shifted his weight to meet the man's gaze, his posture erect.
爸爸改变了身体重心，直视着那个男人的目光，他的姿势挺直。
He kicked a tire as if to gauge through his knowing toes the vehicle's overall quality.
他踢了踢轮胎，仿佛要通过他熟悉的脚趾来衡量车辆的整体质量。
He squinted at the sticker price.
他眯着眼睛看着标价。
"John," said my father, reading the salesman's name tag, "Firstly, I'm an attorney.
“约翰，”我父亲读着推销员的名牌说道，“首先，我是一名律师。
Secondly, when it comes to cars, I'm not some idiot off the street.
其次，说到汽车，我可不是街上的白痴。
A cousin of mine is fleet manager of a Cadillac dealership in San Bernardino"-- a complete fabrication, as far as I know.
我的一个表弟是圣贝纳迪诺一家凯迪拉克经销店的车队经理”——据我所知，这完全是捏造的。
"If we cut through the crap, you just might make yourself a sale.
“如果我们消除这些废话，你可能就会把自己卖掉。
My son here-- I'm buying the boy a car-- doesn't need any bells or whistles."
我的儿子在这里——我要给他买一辆车——不需要任何花里胡哨的东西。”
"I'm Bernard," I said to the salesman.
“我是伯纳德，”我对推销员说。
He shook my hand without taking his eyes off my father.
他握着我的手，目光没有离开我父亲。
"Well, Mister--" "Cooper.
“好吧，先生——” “库珀。
Edward, attorney at law." "I gotta hand it to you, Mr. Cooper.
爱德华，律师。” “我得把它交给你，库珀先生。
It's nice to meet a customer who knows what he wants and comes prepared to do business.
很高兴见到一位知道自己想要什么并做好开展业务准备的客户。
Makes my job a whole lot easier." My father shot me a sidelong glance, as if to say, watch and learn.
让我的工作变得更加轻松。”父亲斜瞟了我一眼，好像在说，看，学。
"I'm going to make this painless," said the salesman.
“我会让这一切变得轻松，”推销员说。
He spun on his heel and walked toward the glass door that led to the lot.
他转身朝通向停车场的玻璃门走去。
We followed him outside to a veritable poppy field of new Corollas, till we reached a red two-door that John claimed was the least expensive automobile on the lot.
我们跟着他到了外面一片名副其实的新卡罗拉罂粟田，直到我们到达一辆红色的两门汽车，约翰声称这是停车场上最便宜的汽车。
"This is the cheapest?" asked my father.
“这个是最便宜的吗？”我父亲问道。
Though it pains me to do so, I must add that my father's gold Star of David had loosed itself from the mid interior of his shirt to glint conspicuously in the afternoon light, the sight of which, given my father's unabashed haggling, caused a chord of shame to vibrate inside me.
虽然这样做让我很痛苦，但我必须补充一点，我父亲的金色大卫之星已经从他衬衫的中间脱落，在午后的阳光下闪闪发光，考虑到我父亲毫不掩饰的讨价还价，这一景象让我内心产生了羞耻的心弦。
I felt compelled to explain to the salesman how my father had worked hard for everything he owned.
我觉得有必要向推销员解释我的父亲是如何努力工作才拥有他所拥有的一切。
He was a hoarder, a scrimper, a seeker of bargains who could never take his solvency for granted.
他是一个囤积者，一个吝啬鬼，一个讨价还价的人，他永远不会认为自己的偿债能力是理所当然的。
And in this respect, he was like thousands of people who'd grown up poor and endured the Depression, Jewish or not.
在这方面，他就像成千上万出身贫穷、经历过大萧条的人一样，无论是不是犹太人。
But that was a lot to explain to a salesman, especially on the cusp of a deal that would change my life.
但要向推销员解释这一点有很多，尤其是在一笔将改变我生活的交易即将到来的时候。
And to put it bluntly, if my father was conforming to the cliché of the cheap Jew, I was that cliché as beneficiary.
坦白地说，如果我的父亲符合廉价犹太人的陈词滥调，那么我就是那种陈词滥调的受益者。
I peered at the car, feigning disinterest.
我假装不感兴趣地看着那辆车。
Quite a performance, considering how I coveted that little red Corolla.
考虑到我对那辆红色小花冠的垂涎欲滴，这真是一个不错的表现。
"Mr. Cooper," said the salesman, "I know a shrewd man when I see one, and I'm going to do something that could put my job on the line.
“库珀先生，”推销员说，“我一看到他就知道他是个精明的人，我要做一些可能危及我工作的事情。
But before I tell you what it is, Mr. Cooper, I want you to promise that you won't say a word to my boss." I'd once heard that repeating a person's name is a way to make them feel important, to win them over.
但在我告诉你这是什么之前，库珀先生，我希望你保证不会对我的老板说任何一句话。”我曾经听说，重复一个人的名字是让他们感觉自己很重要、赢得他们支持的一种方式。
And John, it seemed, had heard the same.
约翰似乎也听到了同样的话。
"Mr. Cooper, I'm going to let you drive out of here for a mere $200 over the factory price.
“库珀先生，我愿意以比出厂价高出 200 美元的价格让你开车离开这里。
I'm going to scratch my commission on this.
我将取消我的佣金。
Frankly, I need the sales points more than I need the money.
坦白说，比起钱，我更需要销售点。
And if we can lock up this deal pronto, it'll be worth my while, and, of course, worth yours." Here, metabolism obscures memory.
如果我们能很快锁定这笔交易，那么我的付出就值得了，当然，你的付出也值得。”在这里，新陈代谢掩盖了记忆。
My heart was running on all cylinders.
我的心全速运转。
My mouth went dry.
我的口干舌燥。
"You've got to be [BLEEP] me, John," said my father, "I know you can give it to me under factory.
“约翰，你必须是我，”我父亲说，“我知道你可以在工厂把它交给我。
I'm not paying a penny more than factory, period." "As I said, Mr. Cooper, I don't mind giving up my commission, but I can't lose money on the deal.
我不会比工厂多付一分钱，就这样。” “正如我所说，库珀先生，我不介意放弃我的佣金，但我不能在这笔交易中赔钱。
I'm giving you the best price you're going to find in LA County, in the state of California."
我给你的是在加利福尼亚州洛杉矶县能找到的最优惠的价格。”
Other customers were milling uncomfortably close to my Corolla, trying out driver's seats, adjusting rear view mirrors.
其他顾客不舒服地靠近我的卡罗拉，尝试驾驶员座椅，调整后视镜。
I wanted to turn to my father and blurt, why would he lie?
我想转向父亲脱口而出，他为什么要撒谎？
"I'm not buying it," my father said sternly.
“我不买。”父亲严厉地说。
It took me a second to realize he meant the dealer's story, not the car itself.
我花了一秒钟才意识到他指的是经销商的故事，而不是汽车本身。
"I know how this game is played, and I'll play along up to a point, but we've reached that point.
“我知道这个游戏是怎么玩的，我会配合玩到一定程度，但我们已经到了那个点。
So let's see what kind of deal you can give me." "Shop around if you don't believe me, Mr. Cooper.
那么让我们看看你能给我什么样的交易。” “如果你不相信我，就货比三家，库珀先生。
Then come on back.
然后回来吧。
The offer still stands.
该优惠仍然有效。
Better act quickly, though, because this baby isn't going to stay on the lot much longer."
不过，最好快点行动，因为这个孩子不会在停车场待太久了。”
"I guess you didn't hear me," said my father.
“我想你没有听到我的声音，”父亲说。
"Look at me, Mr. Cooper.
“看着我，库珀先生。
I have no reason to lead you on." My father gave John the once over, then turned to me.
我没有理由引导你。”我父亲打量了约翰一眼，然后转向我。
"Let's go," he said.
“我们走吧，”他说。
"We're taking our business elsewhere."
“我们正在把业务转移到其他地方。”
Before we took a step, the salesman curtly thanked my father and walked away.
在我们迈出一步之前，推销员简短地向我父亲道了谢，然后就走开了。
The two of us waited a moment with the tacit understanding that his retreat might have been a strategy to provoke my father into giving chase.
我们两个默契地等了一会儿，他的撤退可能是为了激怒我父亲追赶的策略。
The sun beat down from a cloudless sky, asphalt softening beneath our feet.
太阳从万里无云的天空照下来，沥青在我们脚下软化。
"I think he's basically an honest man," I mumbled.
“我认为他基本上是一个诚实的人，”我咕哝道。
"Honest, my ass." My father looked at me with something like pity.
“老实说，我的屁股。”父亲用一种怜悯的眼神看着我。
I'd never catch on, would forever remain a sucker, a rube.
我永远不会明白，永远是个傻瓜，一个乡巴佬。
Muzak faintly wafted from the showroom as the salesman swung the door open and walked inside.
当推销员打开门走进去时，陈列室里隐约传来穆扎克的声音。
"Well," Dad announced, "show's over." And we trudged across the lot toward his Caddy.
“好了，”爸爸宣布，“演出结束了。”我们费力地穿过空地，朝他的球童走去。
The drive back to Los Angeles took a good 40 minutes.
开车返回洛杉矶足足花了40分钟。
My father still fumed from the encounter with the salesman, his ears and neck flushed with blood.
我父亲仍然因为与推销员的遭遇而气愤不已，他的耳朵和脖子都被血染红了。
Dad insisted that the deal was far from over.
爸爸坚称这笔交易还远没有结束。
"The guy's playing hardball, but you watch.
“这家伙态度强硬，但你要看着。
The phone will be ringing when we get back to the house.
当我们回到家时电话就会响。
It'll be him.
将会是他。
And he'll say--" My father launched into an imitation of John, cooing, Mr. Cooper this and Mr. Cooper that.
他会说——”我父亲开始模仿约翰，咕咕地叫着，库珀先生这个，库珀先生那个。
My father promised that when the call finally came, John would apologize for being too hasty and lower the price.
我父亲承诺，当电话最终打来时，约翰会为太仓促而道歉并降低价格。
I'd have my car before I knew it.
在我知道之前我就拥有了我的车。
One day passed.
一天过去了。
Two.
二。
Three.
三。
Each day, I called my father on various transparent pretexts and attempted to find out whether he had heard anything from the salesman.
每天，我都会以各种明显的借口给父亲打电话，试图了解他是否从推销员那里听到了任何消息。
On the fourth day, I steeled myself and asked him outright.
第四天，我硬着头皮，直截了当地问了他。
"Keep your pants on," grumbled my father.
“把裤子穿上，”父亲抱怨道。
"I said he'd call, didn't I?"
“我说过他会打电话的，不是吗？”
By the end of the week, however, my pants were sagging.
然而，到了周末，我的裤子就下垂了。
The car had probably been sold.
车可能已经卖掉了。
In the meantime, I'd researched the prices at other Toyota dealerships around town and discovered that John's offer was the best of the bunch.
与此同时，我研究了镇上其他丰田经销商的价格，发现约翰的报价是最好的。
And so I called my father in a last-ditch effort to own the car.
于是我打电话给我父亲，为拥有这辆车做最后的努力。
"Dad," I said, "I've done some comparative pricing." "So?" "I think we should go for the Corolla before it's sold.
“爸爸，”我说，“我做了一些比较定价。” “所以？” “我认为我们应该在卡罗拉售出之前购买它。
And if it's a matter of not wanting to pay more than the factory price-- and who can blame you?-- I'd be happy to contribute the extra $200 myself."
如果是不想支付超过出厂价的费用——谁能责怪你呢？——我很乐意自己多付 200 美元。”
The proposal had about it the pleasing hue of teamwork, and I wished I'd thought of it days ago.
这个提案带有令人愉悦的团队合作色彩，我希望我几天前就想到了它。
"It's not about the $200," shouted my father.
“这不是 200 美元的问题，”我父亲喊道。
"It's a waiting game.
“这是一场等待的游戏。
He's holding out, so I'll come running back and throw my money at him.
他坚持不懈，所以我会跑回来把钱扔给他。
If you can't sit tight for a while, if you have to have everything you want right when you want it, you might as well forget the whole damn thing." Before he hung up, he said, "And don't pester me anymore.
如果你不能暂时坐稳，如果你必须在你想要的时候得到你想要的一切，那么你还不如忘记这该死的事情。”挂断电话前，他说道：“别再纠缠我了。”
I'll call you when the car is ready."
等车准备好了我就给你打电话。”
The bill arrived after a month of silence.
经过一个月的沉寂后，该法案终于到来。
By then, I'd given up on the car, resigned to drive the Fiat until it broke down completely or until I could afford to make payments on a new car, whichever came first.
到那时，我已经放弃了这辆车，辞职去开菲亚特，直到它完全抛锚，或者直到我有能力支付一辆新车的费用，以先到者为准。
I suspected my father might brood about our day at the dealership, but I wasn't prepared for the extremity of his reaction, if, in fact, the bill was a reaction.
我怀疑父亲可能会为我们在经销店的一天而苦恼，但我并没有准备好面对他的极端反应，如果事实上账单是一种反应的话。
Whenever I tried to make a connection, the machinery of cause and effect began to break down.
每当我试图建立联系时，因果机制就开始崩溃。
Perhaps, in the intervening month, my father had become more offended by my offer to supplement the cost of the car, thinking I'd implied he couldn't afford it, couldn't pull off the deal on his own.
也许，在接下来的一个月里，我父亲对我提出的补充汽车费用的提议感到更加生气，认为我暗示他买不起，无法独自完成这笔交易。
Who was I, he must have wondered, to offer him money?
他一定想知道，我是谁，竟敢给他钱？
And yet, even taking into account the full force of my father's volatility, it seemed unlikely that my offer of $200 would result in him suing me for $2 million.
然而，即使考虑到我父亲反复无常的全部力量，我提出的 200 美元似乎也不太可能导致他起诉我索要 200 万美元。
As the days wore on, my longing for the car grew dimmer, while my father's, no doubt, deepened-- my plan should have worked, that car should be ours-- thrusting him back to the deprivation he knew as a boy.
随着时间的推移，我对汽车的渴望越来越淡，而我父亲的渴望无疑加深了——我的计划应该成功，那辆车应该是我们的——把他推回到他小时候所经历的匮乏之中。
The salesman's refusal to call must have undermined his notion of how the world worked, how bargains were struck by men like himself, men possessed of wile and nerve.
推销员拒绝打电话肯定破坏了他对世界如何运作的看法，以及像他这样具有狡猾和勇气的人如何讨价还价的观念。
What had happened, or failed to happen, defined his every paternal assurance, his promise that the phone would ring, the salesman buckle, the car become mine.
发生的事情，或者没有发生的事情，定义了他每一个父亲般的保证，他承诺电话会响，推销员扣上安全带，汽车归我所有。
How humiliated he must have been to know that I awaited his call.
当他知道我在等他的电话时，他一定感到多么羞辱。
That he'd ask me to wait must have made it worse.
他让我等一下肯定让事情变得更糟。
My father's refusal to be in the wrong meant that I'd have to wait forever.
我父亲拒绝承认自己有错，这意味着我必须永远等待。
20 years have passed since I opened that bill, and for most of those years, I'd taken it for granted that at some point during our afternoon in West Covina, my father had given the dealer his telephone number.
自从我打开那张账单以来，已经过去了 20 年，在这些年的大部分时间里，我理所当然地认为，在我们下午在西科维纳的某个时刻，我父亲给了经销商他的电话号码。
But I've sifted through that trip a dozen times, squinting against the glare of new cars, breathing the icy air of the showroom.
但我已经把那次旅行仔细浏览了十几次，在新车的眩光下眯着眼睛，呼吸着陈列室冰冷的空气。
And I can't recall my father handing over one of his business cards or filling out a form of any sort.
我不记得父亲递过一张名片或填写过任何形式的表格。
Even if my father had been right after all, the salesman wouldn't have known where to reach him, what number to call.
即使我父亲最终是对的，推销员也不知道去哪里联系他，拨打什么电话号码。
Josh Hamilton reading an excerpt from a story by Bernard Cooper, which first appeared in the LA Weekly and is now part of the book The Bill From My Father.
乔什·汉密尔顿（Josh Hamilton）阅读伯纳德·库珀（Bernard Cooper）故事的摘录，该故事最初出现在《洛杉矶周刊》上，现在是《我父亲的比尔》一书的一部分。
Credits Ira Glass Special thanks today to Adrian LeBlanc, [?
感谢 Ira Glass 今天特别感谢 Adrian LeBlanc，[？
Karen Thomas, ?] and Jay Allison.
凯伦·托马斯，？]和杰伊·艾利森。
Our website, thisamericanlife.org.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia.
一如既往地感谢我们项目的联合创始人 Torey Malatia 先生。
Whenever I send anybody over to record him, he says--
每当我派人过来给他录音时，他都会说——
You come here and you tape me for your stupid friend's radio show, and then you get the hell out.
你来这里，给我录下你愚蠢朋友的广播节目，然后你就滚蛋了。
I'm Ira Glass, back next week with more stories of This American Life.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，下周回来，带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
Announcer PRI, Public Radio International.
国际公共广播电台 PRI 播音员。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。