244: MacGyver - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #244 | August 15, 2003 244: MacGyver Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 244 集 | 2003 年 8 月 15 日 244：MacGyver 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass I came to the whole MacGyver thing kind of late.
序言 Ira Glass 我对 MacGyver 的事情了解得有点晚了。
I never saw the TV show.
我从来没有看过电视节目。
In fact, I heard of MacGyver because he kept showing up in rap lyrics.
事实上，我听说 MacGyver 是因为他不断出现在说唱歌词中。
MacGyver, of course, is the guy who fought bad guys, but never used a gun.
当然，MacGyver 是与坏人战斗的人，但从未使用过枪。
He used his scientific knowledge.
他运用了他的科学知识。
He used sheer inventiveness to get himself out of scrapes.
他凭借纯粹的创造力使自己摆脱了困境。
The show's been off the air for years, but he still shows up in dozens of songs.
该节目已停播多年，但他仍然出现在数十首歌曲中。
[MUSIC - SAMPLES OF MACGYVER REFERENCES IN HIP HOP SONGS]
[音乐 - 嘻哈歌曲中引用 MACGYVER 的示例]
MacGyver would turn a hot water bottle into a tear gas dispenser, or roll up a map to turn it into an impromptu dart gun, or mix an antidote to poison from common ingredients found at his local shopping mall, or escape from evildoers using only a bobby pin or piece of gum, notoriously, or the wrapper from the gum, in some diabolically clever way.
麦基弗会把热水瓶变成催泪瓦斯发射器，或者卷起一张地图，把它变成一把即兴的飞镖枪，或者用当地购物中心常见的成分混合解毒剂，或者只用一根发夹或一块口香糖（臭名昭著），或者用口香糖的包装纸，以某种邪恶而聪明的方式逃离邪恶的人。
In real life, most of us never get to be that clever.
在现实生活中，我们大多数人永远不会那么聪明。
In real life, even when there's a situation like, for instance, the largest power outage in US history, it's the professionals who have to jury rig new wiring routes, to figure out how to keep hospitals and emergency services going.
在现实生活中，即使出现美国历史上最大规模的停电等情况，专业人士也必须临时搭建新的布线路线，以弄清楚如何让医院和紧急服务保持运转。
It's the professionals who have to be brilliantly ingenious.
专业人士必须具有出色的独创性。
Let's see, ingenuity.
来看看，巧夺天工。
I am chewing gum right now just in case I might need to use it on something.
我现在正在嚼口香糖，以防万一我可能需要用它来做某件事。
When I reached our contributing editor, Sarah Vowell, in blacked-out New York this Thursday night, she was reading by candlelight.
本周四晚上，当我在漆黑一片的纽约找到我们的特约编辑莎拉·沃威尔时，她正在烛光下读书。
She'd managed to boil water on a gas stove.
她设法用煤气炉烧水。
But that was about all the MacGyver-like ingenuity her situation seemed to call for.
但这就是她的处境所需要的麦盖佛般的聪明才智。
Yeah.
是的。
I mean, I have the gum, and I have the situation.
我的意思是，我有口香糖，我也有这种情况。
And so far, everything's fine.
到目前为止，一切都很好。
Well, no, let's just think for a second.
好吧，不，让我们想一想。
There must be something you can do with that gum.
你一定可以用那块口香糖做点什么。
Um-- well, I guess if there was some kind of windstorm, I could latch one of the candles down with it, you know?
嗯——好吧，我想如果有某种暴风雨，我可以用它来挡住其中一根蜡烛，你知道吗？
I'm trying to wrench any little ounce of drama out of this for you that I can, but--
我正在尽我所能地为你从这件事中扯出一点点戏剧性，但是——
But there is no drama.
但没有戏剧性。
Sarah Vowell I wish I could tell you something, and then you could put that Mission: Impossible music underneath me, and it would sound really super exciting, but--
莎拉·沃威尔（Sarah Vowell）我希望我能告诉你一些事情，然后你可以把《碟中谍》的音乐放在我的下面，这听起来真的超级令人兴奋，但是——
No, look.
不，你看。
Hold on.
坚持，稍等。
I'll put that music under you right now.
我现在就把音乐放在你下面。
I am going to take a bath, and light a candle!
我要去洗澡，点蜡烛！
Yeah, and then I might go to bed early.
是的，然后我可能会早点睡觉。
I bet that line sounds really good with the Mission: Impossible music underneath.
我敢打赌，这句话配上《碟中谍》的音乐，听起来一定很棒。
I might even take a Benadryl!
我什至可能会服用苯那君！
Ingenious problem solving adventures.
巧妙解决问题的冒险。
We almost never get them in our daily lives.
我们在日常生活中几乎从未遇到过它们。
And so today on our radio program we have searched, and we have found not one, not two, not three, but four real-life situations, real-life MacGyver solutions.
因此，今天在我们的广播节目中，我们进行了搜索，我们发现了不是一个、不是两个、不是三个，而是四个现实生活中的情况、现实生活中的 MacGyver 解决方案。
Cases cracked by ordinary people like you and me.
像你我这样的普通人破获的案件。
You know, this is completely the wrong music.
你知道，这完全是错误的音乐。
Just hold on for a second.
请稍等一下。
One story takes place in prison.
有一个故事发生在监狱里。
One involves a very low-budget movie.
其中一个涉及一部非常低成本的电影。
One solves a problem that most of us have had at one time or another in love.
其中一个解决了我们大多数人在爱情中曾经或另一次遇到的问题。
And one, our first act, is the true story of a potential personal crisis averted in an instant.
我们的第一幕是关于瞬间避免潜在个人危机的真实故事。
It is This American Life from Public Radio International and WBEZ Chicago.
这是国际公共广播电台和芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One.
第一幕。
Bolt of Lightning, Pro and Con.
闪电，优点和缺点。
When Chuck Klosterman was 20 years old, a junior at the University of North Dakota, when he had his very first girlfriend, she was 29.
当查克·克洛斯特曼 (Chuck Klosterman) 20 岁时，他还是北达科他大学的一名大三学生，他有了第一个女朋友时，她才 29 岁。
An adult.
一个成年人。
He was very young.
他还很年轻。
And Valentine's Day arrived.
情人节到了。
The day that he came up with a MacGyver-like solution, in an instant, in a flash.
有一天，他在一瞬间想出了一个类似 MacGyver 的解决方案。
Here was the situation.
情况是这样的。
Somehow I was not aware that adults gave presents at Valentine's Day.
不知怎的，我不知道大人在情人节送礼物。
Like, I only thought children did that, they gave cards to each other, you know?
就像，我只以为孩子们会这样做，他们互相赠送卡片，你知道吗？
Right.
正确的。
At elementary school, there's swapping cards.
小学时有交换卡片的活动。
Yeah.
是的。
It didn't seem possible to me that adult people gave presents at Valentine's Day.
在我看来，成年人在情人节送礼物是不可能的。
I'm not sure how I managed to get to be 20 and be unaware of this, but that was sort of the situation.
我不知道我是如何做到20岁了却没有意识到这一点，但情况就是这样。
And we went to the movie Groundhog Day on Valentine's Day.
情人节那天我们去看了电影《土拨鼠之日》。
And I was still living in a dormitory.
而且我还住在宿舍里。
So we went back to my dorm room, OK?
所以我们就回宿舍了，好吗？
And we're hanging out there, and all of a sudden, she gives me all these presents.
我们在那里闲逛，突然，她给了我所有这些礼物。
She gives me, like, a Soul Asylum album, and a copy of the book Go, Dog.
她给了我一张《灵魂庇护》专辑和一本《Go, Dog》这本书。
Go!, which I must have mentioned was my favorite book when I was five or something.
我一定提到过，这是我五岁时最喜欢的书。
There were all these sort of really kind of thoughtful gifts, and a whole bunch of them.
这里有很多非常贴心的礼物。
And she'd obviously put a great deal of effort into the thought behind giving me these things.
显然，她在给我这些东西的背后付出了很大的努力。
And is your feeling of the noose sort of slowly tightening around your neck rising with each present?
随着每件礼物的出现，你脖子上的套索是否会慢慢收紧？
Yeah.
是的。
I'm sort of kind of paralyzed by fear now, because I realize that she has an expectation that I am going to reciprocate this somehow.
我现在有点被恐惧吓呆了，因为我意识到她期望我会以某种方式回报她。
And I guess I just didn't feel comfortable saying I didn't know that you were supposed to do this.
我想我只是不愿意说我不知道你应该这样做。
So I tried to remain as cool as possible, and I started walking toward my closet.
所以我尽量保持冷静，然后开始走向我的衣柜。
OK?
好的？
And as I was walking toward my closet, I kept kind of stalling for time, saying things like, you know, I really didn't know what to get.
当我走向衣柜时，我一直在拖延时间，说一些诸如“你知道，我真的不知道该买什么”之类的话。
I didn't want to buy a gift that everybody would buy.
我不想买每个人都会买的礼物。
I wanted to get you something very creative.
我想给你一些非常有创意的东西。
I want it to be a reflection of our relationship.
我希望它能反映我们的关系。
I'm just sort of coming up with all these different ways to sort of describe how not only do I have, like, a really wonderful gift-- something really cool-- but it's going to be metaphorical for basically our entire relationship.
我只是想出所有这些不同的方式来描述我不仅拥有一份非常美妙的礼物——一些非常酷的礼物——而且它基本上可以隐喻我们的整个关系。
But there's nothing in the closet.
但衣柜里什么也没有。
I have nothing in there.
我里面什么都没有。
It's just my clothes.
这只是我的衣服。
I don't know what I'd like-- and I don't really know what I'm doing now.
我不知道我想要什么——我也不知道我现在在做什么。
Because I'm walking toward it, and I'm kind of slowly playing with the handle of the closet, and I'm just giving every indication that something is in there.
因为我正朝它走去，我慢慢地摆弄着壁橱的把手，我只是给出每一个迹象表明里面有东西。
But there's nothing in there.
但里面什么也没有。
So I thought, maybe something will evolve in my closet.
所以我想，也许我的衣橱里会发生一些变化。
My shoes will become like a microwave or something, you know?
我的鞋子会变得像微波炉什么的，你知道吗？
But I begin opening this closet, and I look inside it.
但我开始打开这个壁橱，看看里面。
Of course to see nothing.
当然是看不到任何东西。
Remember, nothing is in here.
请记住，这里什么也没有。
But I just see all my clothes lined up.
但我只看到我所有的衣服都排成一排。
And what I see is my high school football jacket.
我看到的是我的高中橄榄球夹克。
OK?
好的？
And this is not like a letterman's jacket.
这不像莱特曼的夹克。
This is just like a windbreaker-- you know, my name, Chuck, over the heart would be, like where the heart of the jacket is, with my number 18 underneath it.
这就像一件风衣——你知道，我的名字，Chuck，在心形上方，就像夹克的心形位置，下面是我的 18 号。
You know?
你知道？
I see this, right?
我看到这个了，对吗？
And this thought just suddenly dawned on me, really quickly.
我突然想到了这个想法，真的很快。
So I turn to this woman and I say, well, here's the deal.
所以我转向这个女人，我说，好吧，事情就是这样。
You know, I never had a girlfriend all through high school, and I used to be very envious of all my friends who would give their football jackets to their girlfriends.
你知道，我整个高中都没交过女朋友，我曾经很羡慕我所有的朋友都会把足球夹克送给女朋友。
And I kind of created this whole sort of narrative about how this had been a huge struggle through high school of not being able to give my football jackets to anyone.
我创造了这样一个完整的故事，讲述了高中时期如何无法将我的足球夹克送给任何人是一场巨大的斗争。
Which in truth, I never struggled with.
事实上，我从未为此挣扎过。
I always thought those guys were idiots.
我一直以为那些家伙都是白痴。
So then I said, I think it would be really awesome if you would accept this high school football jacket of mine.
然后我说，如果你能接受我的这件高中橄榄球夹克，那就太好了。
And she started crying.
她开始哭泣。
And she just loved this jacket.
她很喜欢这件夹克。
I mean, she seemed to think it was really nice, and really sweet, and generally very much unlike me.
我的意思是，她似乎认为这真的很好，很甜蜜，而且总的来说很不像我。
Afterwards, what would you feel when you would see her in the jacket?
后来，当你看到她穿着夹克时，你会有什么感觉？
Would you feel good, or would you feel--
你会感觉良好，还是会感觉——
No, no. I felt-- not really.
不，不。我感觉——不是真的。
Ira Glass Every single time she wore it.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）每次她佩戴它时。
Yeah.
是的。
And she wore it all the time.
而且她一直戴着它。
And I always thought to myself, she really, really likes this jacket.
我一直在想，她真的非常喜欢这件夹克。
She must really, really like the experience of getting it, and therefore, she must really, really like me.
她一定非常非常喜欢得到它的经历，因此，她一定非常非常喜欢我。
And yet, I couldn't really look at that jacket without being reminded that this is based on a complete fabrication.
然而，当我真正看到那件夹克时，我就会想起它是完全制作而成的。
Because I really view this as the most diabolical thing I've ever done, mostly because the end result was somebody being happy about it.
因为我真的认为这是我做过的最邪恶的事情，主要是因为最终结果是有人对此感到高兴。
Like, I would almost have less guilt over something terrible I did that caused someone to feel terrible.
就像，我几乎不会因为自己做了一些可怕的事情而让别人感觉很糟糕而感到内疚。
I'm mostly bothered by the fact that I did this terrible thing, and it made someone happy.
我最烦恼的是我做了这件可怕的事情，而这却让某人高兴。
In my mind, it would be so much better if this relationship had ended with her cheating on me or something.
在我看来，如果这段关系以她欺骗我或其他什么方式结束，那就好多了。
I would feel so much better about it if she had, at any point in our relationship, did anything negative to me.
如果她在我们关系的任何时候对我做了任何负面的事情，我会感觉好多了。
But she never did.
但她从来没有这样做过。
Well, you don't know.
好吧，你不知道。
Maybe she's got a story like this too.
也许她也有这样的故事。
Maybe she's-- [?
也许她是——[？
when you told ?] her-- she could be, oh yeah, well, really?
当你告诉她的时候？]她——她可能是，哦，是的，好吧，真的吗？
Well, there's this is one thing I've ever told you.
嗯，这是我曾经告诉过你的一件事。
Oh, man, I hope so.
哦，伙计，我希望如此。
Man, I hope that she cheated on me with 10 guys.
伙计，我希望她和 10 个男人一起欺骗了我。
I would feel so much better about this.
我对此感觉好多了。
Like, while wearing the jacket, you know?
就像，穿着夹克时，你知道吗？
Chuck Klosterman is the amazing writer behind Fargo Rock City and, more recently, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto.
查克·克洛斯特曼（Chuck Klosterman）是《法戈摇滚城》（Fargo Rock City）和最近的《性、毒品和可可泡芙：低文化宣言》（Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto）的杰出作家。
Act Two.
第二幕。
Files in Cakes, Ha!
蛋糕里的文件，哈！
OK.
好的。
Here's a situation where resources are scarce and people have to be inventive with what they have-- prison.
这是一种资源稀缺的情况，人们必须创造性地利用他们所拥有的东西——监狱。
There's this incredible book of prisoners' inventions called, straightforwardly enough, Prisoners' Inventions, by a California inmate who goes by the pseudonym Angelo.
有一本关于囚犯发明的令人难以置信的书，直截了当地称为《囚犯的发明》，作者是一位化名安杰洛的加州囚犯。
In the book, there are descriptions of the inventions that he and his cellmates, or cellies, have made, and these intricate, schematic drawings of devices to make cottage cheese and yogurt, tattoo guns, wake-up alarms, dice-- all of these items considered contraband, subject to confiscation by authorities.
书中描述了他和他的狱友或狱友所做的发明，以及制作干酪和酸奶的设备、纹身枪、叫醒警报器、骰子的复杂示意图——所有这些物品都被视为违禁品，会被当局没收。
An actor, Felix Solis, reads some excerpts.
演员菲利克斯·索利斯 (Felix Solis) 朗读了一些摘录。
Modesty curtain.
谦虚的窗帘。
Because of the close quarters, modesty is one of the first casualties of prison life.
由于囚室距离很近，谦虚是监狱生活中最先受到伤害的因素之一。
My cellie, R, however, created this modesty curtain for when we use the toilet.
然而，我的牢房 R 为我们上厕所时制作了这个遮羞窗帘。
It's just a simple amenity, a reminder, if you will, that some privacy and dignity is still possible.
这只是一个简单的设施，提醒您，如果您愿意的话，一些隐私和尊严仍然是可能的。
The curtain is a half sheet suspended from a tightly strung, triple-woven line.
窗帘是半片，悬挂在一条紧密串起的三重编织线上。
The sliding hangers are strings of paperclips attached to the sheet through small holes.
滑动衣架是一串回形针，通过小孔固定在床单上。
The wall mounts are made from wooden dominoes and paperclips, and fastened to the wall with contact cement.
壁挂支架由木制多米诺骨牌和回形针制成，并用接触水泥固定在墙上。
Although the cops are notorious for confiscating inmate creations and many saw this curtain, none ever touched it, though a few ordered it taken down over the years.
尽管警察因没收囚犯的创作而臭名昭著，而且许多人都看到了这块窗帘，但没有人碰过它，尽管多年来有一些人下令将其拆除。
We never did take it down, and they never pursued the issue.
我们从未将其撤下，他们也从未追究过这个问题。
Ironically, it was a wimpy cellie that I eventually had who finally took it down, supposedly because of cops' warnings to do so.
具有讽刺意味的是，我最终把它拿下来的是一个懦弱的手机，据说是因为警察警告我这样做。
I think the truth of the matter was that he wanted all the paperclips for his own knick knack project.
我认为事情的真相是他想要他自己的小摆设项目的所有回形针。
Wall socket cigarette lighter.
墙壁插座点烟器。
I would estimate that a good 60% of inmates smoke.
我估计有 60% 的囚犯吸烟。
Because of national anti-smoking campaigns, a major problem for smokers in prison has been the elimination of matches and cigarette lighters to discourage in-cell smoking.
由于全国范围内的反吸烟运动，监狱中吸烟者面临的一个主要问题是消除火柴和打火机以阻止牢房内吸烟。
Variations of materials and methods are possible, but usually, a paperclip and a piece of pencil lead are inserted into the slits in one of the cell's wall sockets.
材料和方法可能有所不同，但通常是将回形针和一根铅笔芯插入电池墙上插座的狭缝中。
To achieve a light, a second piece of pencil graphite is used to make a quick bridge between the two terminals, forming a short circuit.
为了实现发光，需要使用第二块铅笔石墨在两个端子之间建立快速桥接，形成短路。
At the same time, a piece of combustible material, like a toilet paper wick with fluffed up ends, is also brought close, and hopefully will catch fire from the momentary explosion of fire and heat.
与此同时，一块可燃材料，比如末端蓬松的卫生纸芯，也被拉近，希望能因瞬间的火焰和热量爆炸而着火。
And there you have a light for your cigarette.
那里有一盏香烟灯。
Caution.
警告。
When inserting the paperclip or pencil lead into the wall socket, don't accidentally ground yourself by brushing against the cell's stainless steel toilet or sink.
将回形针或铅笔芯插入墙壁插座时，请勿因刷到牢房的不锈钢马桶或水槽而意外接地。
Toilet paper mache cup.
卫生纸杯。
We usually get a small packet of state Kool-Aid in our lunches each day.
我们每天的午餐通常会得到一小包国家酷爱饮料。
I like to save up the packets so that I can occasionally indulge in a large cup instead of just a small one every day.
我喜欢把小包存起来，这样我就可以偶尔喝一大杯而不是每天只喝一小杯。
This led to a problem the first time I found myself in administrative segregation, since for security reasons, only small paper coffee cups were issued for use there.
当我第一次发现自己处于行政隔离状态时，这导致了一个问题，因为出于安全原因，只发放了小纸咖啡杯供在那里使用。
Besides being too small, these cups tended to start leaking at the seams by about the fourth day of use.
除了太小之外，这些杯子在使用的第四天左右往往会在接缝处开始泄漏。
And with prison being the way it is, new cups could be obtained only once a week on a one-for-one basis.
而且在监狱里，新杯子每周只能买一次，而且是一对一的。
To get another, you have to turn in the old one.
要获得另一份，您必须上交旧的。
Well, after stewing on this problem for a while, I came up with what I perceived as a crackpot solution, which after long hesitation, I decided to try out.
好吧，在对这个问题思考了一段时间之后，我想出了一个我认为是疯狂的解决方案，经过长时间的犹豫，我决定尝试一下。
To my surprise, it worked well, though it was a bitch to make, plus it used up a lot of toilet paper.
令我惊讶的是，它效果很好，尽管制作起来很麻烦，而且还用了很多卫生纸。
Using wet toilet paper, I formed a large paper mache cup around the fist of one hand.
我用湿卫生纸，在一只手的拳头周围形成了一个大纸杯。
A really awkward piece of work, and very thick.
一部非常尴尬的作品，而且非常厚。
Then I took the largest piece of Saran wrap that our lunch bread came in and inserted it inside the cup, leaving the excess sticking over the edge.
然后我拿起午餐面包中最大的一块保鲜膜，将其插入杯子内，将多余的部分粘在边缘上。
Note that to prevent leakage, the plastic inside must be an unbroken sheet, so the result is a mess to look at, with lots of folds and wrinkles.
请注意，为了防止泄漏，里面的塑料必须是完整的片材，因此结果看起来很乱，有很多折叠和皱纹。
And after allowing the whole thing to dry and harden for a few hours, it was ready for use.
让整个东西干燥并硬化几个小时后，就可以使用了。
To thwart possible confiscation, I put a large black dot on the bottom of the cup the size of the toilet paper roll core, and took to keeping the disguised cup in the new recessed toilet paper holder on the sink.
为了阻止可能的没收，我在杯子底部放了一个大黑点，大小与卫生纸卷芯一样，并把伪装的杯子放在水槽上新的嵌入式卫生纸架中。
A deception that worked so well that for all I know, the cup could still be in that cell, as I accidentally left it behind when I moved on.
这种欺骗非常有效，据我所知，杯子可能仍然在那个牢房里，因为我在继续前进时不小心把它落在了后面。
Excerpts from the book Prisoners' Inventions by a prisoner who goes by the name Angelo.
摘自一位名叫安吉洛的囚犯所著的《囚犯的发明》一书。
It was read for us by Felix Solis, produced with the help of Jonathan Menjivar.
该书由菲利克斯·索利斯 (Felix Solis) 为我们朗读，并在乔纳森·门吉瓦 (Jonathan Menjivar) 的帮助下制作。
Copies available at the whitewalls.org.
副本可在whitewalls.org 上获取。
Act Three.
第三幕。
This is one of those schemes that falls into the category, sure, it sounds crazy, but it might just be crazy enough to work.
这是属于该类别的方案之一，当然，这听起来很疯狂，但它可能只是疯狂到足以起作用。
It all begins simply enough.
一切的开始都很简单。
A man dreams of making a movie.
一个男人梦想拍一部电影。
He comes to Boston to film it.
他来到波士顿拍摄这部电影。
It's 1988.
现在是 1988 年。
His name-- David Rudder.
他的名字——大卫·鲁德。
We couldn't get him to come on the radio, but we did get Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote about what happened in GQ magazine.
我们没能让他出现在广播中，但我们找到了伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特，她在《GQ》杂志上报道了所发生的事情。
David Rudder is a first-time filmmaker.
大卫·鲁德 (David Rudder) 是首次担任电影制片人。
He's a producer from a place called Rudder Productions, David Rudder Movie Productions.
他是 Rudder Productions 的制片人，David Rudder Movie Productions。
And he's doing a very low-budget, a $1.3 million movie called The Knockdown, which is a romantic comedy about a historic preservationist trying to save an endangered building with the help of a buxom young architect.
他正在制作一部预算非常低、耗资 130 万美元的电影，名为《The Knockdown》，这是一部浪漫喜剧，讲述了一位历史保护主义者在一位丰满的年轻建筑师的帮助下试图拯救一座濒临灭绝的建筑的故事。
So he is going to be shooting this movie in Boston, and he needs somebody to produce it.
所以他将在波士顿拍摄这部电影，他需要有人来制作它。
Before long, Rudder is interviewing a guy named George Moffly for the job.
不久之后，鲁德正在面试一位名叫乔治·莫夫利的人来应聘这份工作。
Moffly is 27.
莫夫莱27岁了。
He's made some low-budget commercials for a weight loss clinic and a dog racing track.
他为减肥诊所和赛狗场制作了一些低成本广告。
He's worked on the crew of exactly one Hollywood film called Vampire's Kiss with Nicholas Cage.
他曾与尼古拉斯·凯奇一起为一部好莱坞电影《吸血鬼之吻》的剧组工作过。
And from the very start, Moffly says, the whole thing seemed a little odd.
莫夫利说，从一开始，整件事就显得有点奇怪。
They've sent me the script.
他们已经把剧本发给我了。
It's the worst thing I've ever read in my life.
这是我一生中读过的最糟糕的东西。
I just can't believe it.
我简直不敢相信。
I can't believe anything could be that bad.
我不敢相信事情会变得那么糟糕。
But I didn't care.
但我不在乎。
I wanted to do the movie.
我想拍电影。
I'd set my mind to it.
我就下定决心了。
I wanted to produce a film.
我想制作一部电影。
So whatever it takes.
所以无论需要什么。
What kind of impression did this David Rudder make on you when you first met him?
当你第一次见到大卫·鲁德（David Rudder）时，他给你留下了什么样的印象？
We were in a tiny little hotel room with a double bed and just enough room for two chairs, and I was sitting on a chair, practically touching knees with this guy who just, quite honestly, seemed improbable.
我们住在一个很小的酒店房间里，里面有一张双人床，空间只够放两把椅子，我坐在椅子上，几乎和这个家伙膝盖碰在一起，老实说，这个家伙看起来不太可能。
David Rudder makes a kind of shocking impression on George.
大卫·鲁德给乔治留下了令人震惊的印象。
He's an intimidating guy.
他是一个令人生畏的家伙。
He's about six-four, blond, kind of Aryan, square-jawed, very serious.
他大约六四岁，金发，雅利安人，方下巴，非常严肃。
He was in a suit.
他穿着西装。
He just didn't seem to know anything about film.
他似乎对电影一无所知。
And I had wondered, I said, well, this is really great.
我想知道，我说，嗯，这真的很棒。
So you're doing a film called The Knockdown.
所以你正在拍一部叫做《The Knockdown》的电影。
And he was extremely evasive about any concrete details.
他对任何具体细节都极其回避。
Who wrote it?
谁写的？
A guy.
一个家伙。
OK.
好的。
Well, who's the DP?
那么，DP 是谁？
Hmm.
唔。
And literally, hmm.
从字面上看，嗯。
Not even anything after that.
之后甚至什么都没有。
Just hmm.
只是嗯。
They sit down to the interview, and it immediately takes a peculiar turn.
他们坐下来接受采访，事情立即发生了奇怪的转变。
What happens is that David Rudder starts saying to George, have you ever dealt with the Teamsters?
大卫·鲁德开始对乔治说，你和卡车司机打过交道吗？
You know, in all the movies and commercials that you've worked on, have you ever had to deal with the Teamsters?
您知道，在您参与制作的所有电影和广告中，您是否曾与卡车司机打过交道？
And the phrase "dealing with the Teamsters" is kind of a wink-wink, nudge-nudge code for, have you ever had to bribe the Teamsters?
“与卡车司机打交道”这句话有点像眨眼、轻推的代码，意思是，你曾经不得不贿赂过卡车司机吗？
Which is something that generally you did have to do at that time if you were making a movie in Boston.
如果你在波士顿拍电影，那通常是你当时必须做的事情。
And they ask me, have I ever bribed up the Teamsters?
他们问我，我贿赂过卡车司机吗？
And I answer truthfully, yes, I have.
我如实回答，是的，我有。
And then they ask me, have you ever bribed the Boston teamsters?
然后他们问我，你曾经贿赂过波士顿车队的队员吗？
And I answered truthfully, yeah, uh huh.
我也如实回答，嗯嗯。
Then Rudder asked me, have you ever bribed Jimmy Moar or Billy Winn?
然后鲁德问我，你曾经贿赂过吉米·莫尔或比利·温恩吗？
Now, I knew both of those guys, but the answer was no, I had not.
现在，我认识这两个人，但答案是否定的，我不认识。
And I thought, you know what?
我想，你知道吗？
I want a job.
我想要一份工作。
I want this job.
我想要这份工作。
I want to be a producer.
我想成为一名制片人。
So I said, sure, all the time.
所以我说，当然，一直都是。
You know?
你知道？
As you've probably figured out by now, this is no ordinary movie.
您现在可能已经意识到，这不是一部普通的电影。
In fact, the movie is just a front for a scheme that is either ingeniously smart or really, really dumb, depending on your point of view.
事实上，这部电影只是一个计划的幌子，这个计划要么非常聪明，要么非常非常愚蠢，这取决于你的观点。
David Rudder, in fact, is not David Rudder.
事实上，大卫·鲁德并不是大卫·鲁德。
He is FBI Special Agent Garland Schweickhardt.
他是联邦调查局特工加兰·施韦克哈特。
Schweickhardt, for years, has been a pencil-pusher at the FBI, a bureaucrat.
多年来，施韦克哈特一直是联邦调查局的一名推笔人，一名官僚。
But he's come up with this idea for a sting operation.
但他想出了这个诱捕行动的想法。
Catch the Teamsters, and prove that they're in bed with the mob.
抓住卡车司机，并证明他们与暴徒同床共枕。
Back when this is happening, back in the late '80s, the Teamsters and the Patriarca crime family seem to be working hand in glove on a lot of things.
当这种情况发生时，也就是 80 年代末，卡车司机和 Patriarca 犯罪家族似乎在很多事情上密切合作。
And they'd been shaking down every movie and film production that had come to Boston and demanding that more teamsters are hired than necessary, threatening the Feds, dumping peoples' trucks in the river, giving money to the mob, and the FBI wanted to catch them at this.
他们一直在勒索来到波士顿的每一部电影和电影制作，并要求雇用更多的卡车司机，威胁联邦调查局，将人们的卡车扔进河里，向暴徒提供资金，联邦调查局想抓住他们。
David Rudder, or Special Agent Schweickhardt, had he done undercover work before?
大卫·鲁德（David Rudder），或者特工施韦克哈特（Schweickhardt），他以前做过卧底工作吗？
He had never done any undercover work before.
他以前从未做过任何卧底工作。
And this was what he saw as his big career opportunity to be an FBI guy like you see in the movies.
他认为这对他来说是一个巨大的职业机会，成为一名联邦调查局人员，就像你在电影中看到的那样。
He went to the FBI's big crime undercover bureau and managed to convince them to give him $20, $25, $30,000 to start this project.
他去了联邦调查局的大型犯罪卧底局，并设法说服他们给他 20 美元、25 美元、30,000 美元来启动这个项目。
And then he went to film school for a semester at UCLA.
然后他在加州大学洛杉矶分校电影学院学习了一个学期。
Studied in one film class.
学习了一门电影课程。
Learned a lot about the business from that.
从中学到了很多关于业务的知识。
Went to Paramount Pictures, asked them if they had a dud script that they were never going to use.
去了派拉蒙影业，询问他们是否有一个永远不会使用的无用剧本。
They handed him this turkey of a script called The Knockdown.
他们给了他一个名为《击倒》的火鸡剧本。
And he was selling himself as a guy who was doing an investment for some friends.
他把自己推销为一个为一些朋友做投资的人。
And this is a kind of lark.
这是一种百灵鸟。
It's an investment project for a small group of dentists in the Alexandria, Virginia, area.
这是弗吉尼亚州亚历山大地区一小群牙医的投资项目。
How early on does Rudder send George to go and talk to the Teamsters?
鲁德多久派乔治去和卡车司机谈谈？
It's the first thing he has George do in his job as his producer.
这是他作为制片人让乔治做的第一件事。
He says to George, go to Jimmy Moar.
他对乔治说，去找吉米·莫尔吧。
See what you can do in terms of cutting a deal.
看看你能做些什么来达成交易。
So I was given marching orders to go meet with Jimmy Moar.
所以我接到命令去见吉米·莫尔。
And the Teamster hall is this red brick, generic, '50s, early '60s building underneath three overpasses.
卡车司机大厅是一座 50 年代、60 年代初的红砖通用建筑，位于三座立交桥下方。
I'm led into the hall through a series of buzzers.
我通过一系列蜂鸣器被带入大厅。
Go to a really dim, fake-paneled office where Jimmy Moar is, and he says, so what can I do for you, George?
走进吉米·莫尔所在的一间非常昏暗、镶着假镶板的办公室，他说，乔治，我能为你做什么？
He introduces himself.
他自我介绍。
He says, I'm here representing David Rudder.
他说，我在这里代表大卫·鲁德。
We're making a small film.
我们正在拍一部小电影。
We only have $1.3 million.
我们只有 130 万美元。
The budget is laid out like this.
预算是这样安排的。
We can only afford to hire seven teamsters.
我们只能雇佣七名卡车司机。
And Jimmy Moar, who is this tough, tough scary guy, says, no. You're going to hire 19.
吉米·莫尔（Jimmy Moar）这个坚强、可怕的家伙说，不。您将雇用 19 名员工。
And he wouldn't even come down to like 18.
他甚至不会降到18岁。
He said, well, you know what?
他说，好吧，你知道吗？
19 is our offer.
19 是我们的报价。
That's what we're going to do it for.
这就是我们要做的。
19 is ridiculous.
19 太可笑了。
It would be half the crew of this entire movie.
这将是整部电影的一半工作人员。
There would be no reason in the world they would need this many people.
他们根本没有理由需要这么多人。
And George, who's a tough guy in his own right, he got sort of angry about this.
乔治本身就是一个硬汉，他对此感到有点生气。
And the first thing he did was offer him a deal.
他做的第一件事就是向他提出一笔交易。
He said, look.
他说，你看。
Can we work out something?
我们可以解决一些问题吗？
Basically said, can I buy you off?
基本上就是说，我可以收买你吗？
Jimmy Moar said he wasn't interested in that.
吉米·莫尔说他对此不感兴趣。
He said, you hire 19 of my guys or you can forget about it, and you can take your [BLEEP] movie to Toronto.
他说，你雇佣了我的 19 个人，否则你就可以忘记这件事了，你可以把你的 [BLEEP] 电影带到多伦多。
And I said, you know what?
我说，你知道吗？
[BLEEP] you.
[哔]你。
Tell you what.
告诉你什么。
We're just not going to use any Teamsters.
我们只是不会使用任何卡车司机。
Why don't we do this?
我们为什么不这样做呢？
Why don't I not hire any Teamsters, I take the money that I saved, I hire a bunch of Pinkerton guards with guns, and I order them around the set to shoot to kill any union disruption that might happen while we're doing this movie.
为什么我不雇佣任何卡车司机，我拿着我存下来的钱，雇佣了一群带枪的平克顿警卫，我命令他们在片场周围开枪，以消灭我们拍这部电影时可能发生的任何工会破坏。
Which was when he offered to break my legs.
就在那时，他提出要打断我的腿。
I'm told to get out of his [BLEEP] office, or he's going to, you know, tear me from limb to limb and throw me in the river.
我被告知要离开他的办公室，否则他就会，你知道，把我撕成碎片，然后把我扔进河里。
So that was the end of that negotiation.
谈判就这样结束了。
It didn't go very well.
进展不太顺利。
And from the FBI point of view, that is not what they wanted to happen.
从联邦调查局的角度来看，这不是他们想要发生的事情。
They wanted the bribe to go down.
他们希望减少贿赂。
From the FBI point of view, it was a total wash.
从联邦调查局的角度来看，这完全是一次洗牌。
I mean, Jimmy Moar wouldn't even talk about taking a bribe.
我的意思是，吉米·莫尔甚至不会谈论受贿的事。
So I have to call David Rudder, and I tell him, look I'm a failure.
所以我必须打电话给大卫·鲁德，我告诉他，看我是个失败者。
I haven't been able to do it.
我还没能做到。
So Rudder, aka Special Agent Garland Schweickhardt, goes back to his bosses at the Los Angeles bureau and says we can't get anywhere with this.
因此，鲁德（又名特工加兰·施韦克哈特）回到洛杉矶分局的老板那里，说我们在这件事上没有任何进展。
It's not working.
它不起作用。
Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.
也许这不是一个好主意。
And the sting operation is canceled.
并且刺痛操作被取消。
And shortly thereafter, I get a phone call saying that the dentists have pulled out.
不久之后，我接到电话说牙医已经退出了。
Months go by.
几个月过去了。
Everybody goes back to their regular lives.
每个人都回到正常的生活。
And then the dentists get a lucky break.
然后牙医就得到了幸运的突破。
A small-time mafia-related thug named Robert Franchi strolls into the FBI office one day and announces that he wants to turn state's evidence and help them nab members of the Patriarca crime family.
有一天，一位名叫罗伯特·弗兰奇 (Robert Franchi) 的黑手党小流氓走进联邦调查局办公室，宣布他想转变国家证据，帮助他们抓捕帕特里亚卡犯罪家族的成员。
His motives aren't altruistic, mind you.
请注意，他的动机并不是无私的。
He doesn't want to rid the world of organized crime.
他不想让世界摆脱有组织的犯罪。
He simply owes some gambling debts to a guy, and that guy has gone out and threatened Franchi's mother.
他只是欠了一个人一些赌债，而那个人出去威胁了弗兰奇的母亲。
His mother.
他的母亲。
And this comes to the attention of Garland Schweickhardt, who still has this dream of this sting operation.
这引起了加兰·施韦克哈特的注意，他仍然梦想着这次诱捕行动。
And he realizes, this is somebody he could actually use.
他意识到，这是他真正可以利用的人。
And he's going to have Robert Franchi approach the Patriarca crime family and say, I've got this friend, he's making a low budget movie in Boston, he doesn't have enough money to deal with the Teamsters.
他会让罗伯特·弗兰奇接近帕特里亚卡犯罪家族并说，我有这个朋友，他正在波士顿制作一部低成本电影，他没有足够的钱来对付卡车司机。
He'd be willing to pay off anybody he has to pay off to save some money on the other end, can you pull some strings with the Teamsters and see if you can help them out.
他愿意付钱给任何他必须付钱的人，以便在另一端省点钱，你能和卡车司机们牵线搭桥，看看你是否能帮助他们。
And now that this is happening, they need to make the movie again.
现在这种情况发生了，他们需要重新制作这部电影。
I actually had moved to New York.
我实际上已经搬到了纽约。
I'd left Boston.
我离开了波士顿。
And I was the location manager on a film called The Ambulance with Eric Roberts.
我和埃里克·罗伯茨一起担任一部名为《救护车》的电影的外景经理。
And one day, I'm in the production office and the phone rings, and David Rudder is on the phone, and asks me if I'd be interested in working for him again.
有一天，我在制作办公室，电话响了，大卫·鲁德接电话，问我是否有兴趣再次为他工作。
And it wasn't until after I hung up the phone, I thought, how did he get this number?
直到挂断电话后，我才想，他是怎么得到这个号码的？
That's weird.
这很奇怪。
Which was something that, over the course of the next year and a half, would happen a lot.
在接下来的一年半的时间里，这种情况会发生很多次。
I'm delighted.
我很高兴。
I mean, I'm flying to LA.
我是说，我要飞往洛杉矶。
Had you ever been flown anywhere on business?
您曾经因公事飞往任何地方吗？
No. Ira Glass Does he meet you at the airport?
不，艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass）他会在机场接你吗？
Yeah.
是的。
David pulls up in a gold Rolls Royce.
大卫开着一辆金色劳斯莱斯停了下来。
I'm just like, I can't believe it.
我简直不敢相信。
I mean, this guy's for real.
我的意思是，这家伙是真的。
It's just this real Hollywood moment.
这就是真正的好莱坞时刻。
Of course he doesn't know, or have any way of knowing, that the bronze Rolls Royce actually used to belong to a major drug kingpin, that it's seized federal property, and that David is borrowing it just for the day to impress George and make it look like he's a real Hollywood guy.
当然，他不知道，或者没有办法知道，这辆青铜劳斯莱斯实际上曾经属于一个大毒枭，它被没收了联邦财产，大卫借用它只是为了给乔治留下深刻印象，让他看起来像一个真正的好莱坞人。
So they continue driving through Hollywood, and they get to this very nondescript office building, and there's a parking space there that says, Reserved for David Rudder Productions.
于是他们继续开车穿过好莱坞，到达了这座非常不起眼的办公楼，那里有一个停车位，上面写着“为大卫·鲁德制作公司保留”。
They go up into the elevator, and George starts to feel this sinking feeling that maybe this guy isn't such a big shot, because the office building is filled with nothing but medical practices and biopsy labs.
他们走进电梯，乔治开始感到一种沉闷的感觉，也许这个家伙并不是一个大人物，因为办公楼里除了医疗诊所和活检实验室什么都没有。
And it's just not the kind of place you would think that a Hollywood guy would have an office.
这并不是你认为好莱坞明星会拥有办公室的地方。
And once he opens the door to his office, this skanky orange-carpeted weird place, it's got posters all over the walls of movies that David Rudder clearly did not produce.
当他打开办公室的门时，这个铺着橙色地毯的怪异地方，墙上贴满了显然不是大卫·鲁德制作的电影海报。
You know, like Biloxi Blues and Clan of the Cave Bear.
你知道，比如比洛克西布鲁斯和穴熊氏族。
And then he brings me into his office, which is nothing.
然后他把我带进他的办公室，没什么。
There are no papers.
没有文件。
There was no sign.
没有任何迹象。
There are no pictures of his wife.
没有他妻子的照片。
There was no anything.
什么也没有。
No computer?
没有电脑？
George Moffly No computer, nothing personal.
乔治·莫弗利 没有电脑，没有什么私人的。
Just an empty desk and a filing cabinet.
只有一张空桌子和一个文件柜。
Still, it's not like anybody else is offering George a producing job and a producing credit in a movie, so he says yes-- on one condition.
尽管如此，这并不像其他人向乔治提供一份制作工作和电影制作的荣誉，所以他答应了——有一个条件。
He insists that they get a better script.
他坚持要求他们得到更好的剧本。
So first they tried to get somebody to rewrite The Knockdown for $5,000, and then, when that fails--
所以首先他们试图找人以 5,000 美元重写《击倒》，然后，当失败时——
He says to David Rudder, look.
他对大卫·鲁德说，看。
You know, if you want to make a movie that's going to work, it's not going to be this movie.
你知道，如果你想拍一部能成功的电影，那它就不是这部电影。
And why don't you give me $20,000 and send me out there to find a script that's actually decent so that we can get good actors in it, so that we can get good people to work on it, and so that we can make some money on it later.
你为什么不给我 20,000 美元，让我去那里找一个真正不错的剧本，这样我们就可以找到好的演员，这样我们就可以找到好的人来制作它，这样我们以后就可以赚一些钱。
And he convinces him to cough up another $20,000 of US taxpayer money to go buy a new movie script for this scam movie that the FBI's making.
他说服他再拿出 2 万美元美国纳税人的钱去为 FBI 制作的这部诈骗电影购买新的电影剧本。
It's amazing.
太棒了。
Because from the FBI's point of view, this movie is still never going to be made.
因为从联邦调查局的角度来看，这部电影仍然永远不会被制作。
Right.
正确的。
But at this moment, this is where the story turns.
但此时此刻，故事却出现了转折。
Because at this moment, David Rudder starts to have an ulterior motive, which is that he really wants to make a movie.
因为此时此刻，大卫·鲁德开始有了不可告人的目的，那就是他真的想拍一部电影。
You know, he's been hanging around this business for about a year now.
你知道，他在这行干了大约一年了。
He's interested.
他有兴趣。
He thinks it's exciting.
他认为这很令人兴奋。
It's glamorous.
它很迷人。
And in the back of his mind, he's thinking, you know, we might actually film this thing.
在他的内心深处，他在想，你知道，我们可能真的会拍摄这件事。
And he seals the deal by shaking George's hand and saying, "Let's make a movie we can be proud of." And you know what?
他与乔治握手并说道：“让我们制作一部我们可以引以为豪的电影吧。”你知道吗？
He meant it.
他是认真的。
He really wanted to at that point.
那时他真的很想这么做。
Why?
为什么？
What was his vision of how this could go?
他对此事的进展有何看法？
Like, what was going to happen if they made this into a movie?
比如，如果他们把这个拍成电影会发生什么？
Well, the vision that he had was bigger than what he had admitted to the FBI.
嗯，他的愿景比他向联邦调查局承认的还要宏大。
What he had started thinking, as he was understanding more about the movie-making business was, you know, we could continue doing this in other states.
随着他对电影制作业务有了更多的了解，他开始思考的是，我们可以继续在其他州这样做。
And what he thought was, you take the initial seed money that the FBI gave him, you actually make the film, you sell the film, you sell it to HBO, you sell it to the airlines, you put it in some festivals, you make some money off it, it goes to video.
他的想法是，你拿着联邦调查局给他的最初种子资金，你实际上制作电影，你卖电影，你把它卖给HBO，你把它卖给航空公司，你把它放在一些电影节上，你从中赚到一些钱，它就用于视频。
With those profits, you go to another state like Nevada, where they also have this same problem with the Teamsters and the mob, and you make another fake movie.
有了这些利润，你可以去另一个州，比如内华达州，那里的卡车司机和暴徒也有同样的问题，你就可以制作另一部假电影。
And then you take the profits from that and you go to California to do it again.
然后你从中获利，然后你去加利福尼亚再做一次。
And he had this vision that he was going to become, like, a studio executive in the studio system.
他有这样的愿景：他将成为工作室系统中的工作室主管。
He was going to use profits from one film to make another film, and each time he was doing it, he was going to bring down the mob in another state.
他打算用一部电影的利润来制作另一部电影，每次他这样做，他都会打倒另一个州的暴徒。
He's excited about casting.
他对选角感到很兴奋。
He starts fantasizing about the kind of people that we can get in the part.
他开始幻想我们可以让什么样的人来扮演这个角色。
Academy Awards.
奥斯卡金像奖。
He mentions that a few times.
他多次提到这一点。
Wow.
哇。
George Moffly He's really-- I'll tell you something.
乔治·莫弗利：他真的——我要告诉你一件事。
He is excited about being a producer.
他对成为一名制片人感到很兴奋。
When George is talking to him about the movie, does he ask him, like, well, do you have any name actors attached to this?
当乔治和他谈论这部电影时，他会问他，比如，你有没有与此相关的知名演员？
Does he ask him the basic questions?
他会问他一些基本问题吗？
He does.
他做到了。
One of the reasons that George is so excited about doing the movie is that he's told that Brian Dennehy is really interested in being in it, and so is Rebecca De Mornay.
乔治对拍摄这部电影如此兴奋的原因之一是，他被告知布莱恩·丹内利（Brian Dennehy）非常有兴趣出演这部电影，丽贝卡·德莫妮（Rebecca De Mornay）也是如此。
As it turns out later, of course, that's a complete fiction.
当然，后来事实证明，这完全是虚构的。
Although I would love to know how they come up with those two names out of--
虽然我很想知道他们是如何想出这两个名字的——
I know.
我知道。
They seem so random.
他们看起来很随意。
Elizabeth Gilbert --everybody, they're so specific.
伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特——大家，他们都很具体。
But no, Dennehy is perfect in a way.
但不，丹尼希在某种程度上是完美的。
Because you've heard of him, but you just don't think he'd be that hard to get.
因为你听说过他，但你只是不认为他那么难得到。
And Rebecca De Mornay, by 1989, wasn't doing a lot of work.
到 1989 年，丽贝卡·德·莫妮 (Rebecca De Mornay) 并没有做太多工作。
You know, she might have considered it.
你知道，她可能已经考虑过了。
Really, you think actually, we could get her on the phone.
真的，你认为实际上，我们可以给她打电话。
In a way, it's brilliant.
从某种程度上来说，它非常出色。
It's perfect.
太完美了。
That part of it is actually like perfectly well thought through.
这部分实际上是经过深思熟虑的。
So while all of this is happening, meanwhile, Rudder is working the mob connection, and he's meeting more mobsters.
因此，在这一切发生的同时，鲁德正在与黑帮建立联系，他正在遇到更多的黑帮。
And just talk about how the monsters are reacting to the idea of this movie coming to town.
谈谈怪物们对这部电影来到镇上的想法有何反应。
Well, you know, this is the sparkle of show business.
嗯，你知道，这就是演艺界的闪光点。
The mobsters get really into the idea of being part of this movie.
黑帮们真的很想成为这部电影的一部分。
Franchi starts bringing David Rudder around.
弗兰奇开始带大卫·鲁德过来。
He has some dinners on Raymond Patriarca's yacht.
他在雷蒙德·帕特里亚卡的游艇上吃了一些晚餐。
He meets some people.
他遇见了一些人。
As the production moves forward, a host of bizarre people start coming in to account.
随着制作的推进，一群奇怪的人开始介入。
One of them in particular is this kid who's real handsome in an early days Travolta kind of way, Italian Stallion sort of thing going on, named Frankie Salemme Jr. He's a tough guy, he's a little mob runner, but he's also really into show business, and he's taken a few acting classes in this life.
其中一个特别是这个孩子，他早期非常英俊，有点特拉沃尔塔的风格，意大利种马的风格，名叫小弗兰基·萨勒姆。他是一个硬汉，他是一个小黑帮跑者，但他也很热衷于演艺界，而且他这辈子上了一些表演课。
And so Raymond Patriarca says to David Rudder, you know what, I want to help out with this movie as much as I can.
雷蒙德·帕特里亚卡 (Raymond Patriarca) 对大卫·鲁德 (David Rudder) 说，你知道吗，我想尽我所能为这部电影提供帮助。
Maybe you can use my speedboat.
也许你可以使用我的快艇。
We could put my speedboat in the movie.
我们可以把我的快艇放进电影里。
It would be really cool to see my speedboat in a real movie.
如果能在真实的电影中看到我的快艇那就太酷了。
And I think you should hire Frankie here to be the speedboat driver for the movie role.
我认为你应该聘请弗兰基作为电影角色的快艇司机。
So suddenly the movie's got a speedboat and a speedboat driver in it.
所以电影里突然出现了一艘快艇和一个快艇司机。
But all these guys just want to be part of the picture.
但所有这些人都只是想成为其中的一部分。
While all this is going on, George finds another script-- using $20,000 of your and my tax money-- and they start to hire a crew, build sets, scout locations, to film the movie in Providence.
当这一切发生时，乔治找到了另一个剧本——用了你我的税款中的 20,000 美元——他们开始雇佣剧组人员、搭建布景、勘察地点，以便在普罗维登斯拍摄这部电影。
But weird things keep happening.
但奇怪的事情不断发生。
I get a call from Rudder.
我接到鲁德打来的电话。
I've got a crew, and I have to pay them every week.
我有一个工作人员，我每周都得付钱给他们。
And I say, I need a check.
我说，我需要一张支票。
I've set up a bank account, or we need to set up a bank account.
我已经开设了一个银行账户，或者我们需要开设一个银行账户。
So he flies in.
于是他飞了进去。
And rather than pay with a check, he has a suitcase, which we take to the bank.
他没有用支票付款，而是有一个手提箱，我们将其带到银行。
And then he asks the bank guy, what's the maximum I can deposit without reporting to the Feds?
然后他问银行工作人员，在不向美联储报告的情况下我可以存入的最高金额是多少？
The guy says-- I think it was $10,000.
那个人说——我想是 10,000 美元。
So Rutter opens the suitcase and there is-- I don't how many tens of thousands of dollars in that suitcase.
于是鲁特打开手提箱，里面有——我不知道手提箱里有多少万美元。
Which he then counts out, whatever, $9,000, and hands to the bank guy, who is as dumbfounded as I am.
然后他数了数，无论如何，9,000 美元，然后递给银行工作人员，他和我一样目瞪口呆。
Schweickhardt works for the federal government.
施韦克哈特为联邦政府工作。
Like, what kind of undercover man is he that he doesn't know, well, if you deposit more than $10,000, it shows up in reporting?
比如，他是个什么样的卧底人，他不知道，好吧，如果你存入超过 10,000 美元，就会出现在报告中？
Like, I know that just from watching TV.
就像，我只是通过看电视才知道这一点。
So much of this is so sloppy.
这一切都太草率了。
When I interviewed Schweickhardt years later, when I was working on the story, I said to him, you know, what was the deal with not wanting the IRS to know about it?
几年后，当我采访施韦克哈特时，当我正在撰写这个故事时，我对他说，你知道，不想让国税局知道这件事是怎么回事？
He said, you know what?
他说，你知道吗？
It's just so much paperwork once you get the IRS involved.
一旦你让国税局介入，文书工作就这么多了。
And I thought, he's just like the rest of us.
我想，他就像我们其他人一样。
David Rudder is convincing enough to the mob guys, though.
不过，大卫·鲁德对于黑帮来说已经足够令人信服了。
The movie looks real to them.
这部电影对他们来说看起来很真实。
And pretty soon, the sting goes down, just as planned.
很快，刺痛就消失了，正如计划的那样。
The FBI records Rudder paying $25,000 in cash to the mobsters as a fee for making their movie, without 19 Teamsters working on it.
FBI 记录显示，鲁德向黑帮支付了 25,000 美元现金作为制作电影的费用，而这部电影没有 19 名卡车司机参与制作。
And at that point, the FBI has what it needs to make its case in court.
到那时，联邦调查局就拥有了在法庭上陈述案件所需的一切。
In theory, they should shut the film production down the next day, because there's no purpose now.
理论上来说，他们应该在第二天就停止电影制作，因为现在已经没有任何目的了。
But they don't shut it down, because Rudder really wants to make his movie.
但他们并没有关闭它，因为鲁德真的很想拍他的电影。
How serious does it get?
情况有多严重？
Do they start auditioning actors?
他们开始试镜演员吗？
Like, are there name actors who are showing up for this?
比如，有知名演员出现吗？
Apparently there are.
显然是有的。
Apparently Bebe Neuwirth comes in for a reading, and there was somebody else-- oh, John Lithgow comes in for a reading.
显然，贝比·诺沃斯 (Bebe Neuwirth) 进来读书，还有其他人——哦，约翰·利思戈 (John Lithgow) 进来读书。
They're auditioning people for extras.
他们正在试镜群众演员。
They're bringing in this whole parade of actors, day after day.
他们日复一日地引进了大批演员。
At this point Robert the Neck-- Robert Franchi, who is the key to this whole operation, who is the mob informant-- starts to be the only person in this whole story who has a crisis of conscience.
此时，罗伯特·脖子——罗伯特·弗兰奇，整个行动的关键，黑帮线人——开始成为整个故事中唯一有良心危机的人。
Because he's watching, as he would describe it later, these really idealistic young kids come in and audition for what they think is a real movie.
因为他正在观看，正如他稍后描述的那样，这些非常理想主义的年轻孩子进来试镜他们认为是一部真正的电影。
And he feels like there's something really wrong about that, you know?
他觉得这确实有些不对劲，你知道吗？
He knows that it's not a real movie.
他知道这不是一部真正的电影。
He knows that the FBI is behind it.
他知道FBI是幕后黑手。
He knows it's probably never going to get made.
他知道这可能永远不会实现。
And he's a standup guy.
他是一个站立的人。
He just feels like-- he's the same guy who was going to kill somebody for threatening his mother, you know?
他只是觉得——他就是那个因为威胁他母亲而要杀掉一个人的人，你知道吗？
He just, he's got values.
他只是，他有价值观。
The other thing that happens around this time is that George starts to get in some run-ins.
这段时间发生的另一件事是乔治开始发生一些争执。
George is a really scrappy little guy.
乔治是一个非常斗志旺盛的小家伙。
He starts to get in some run-ins with these mob guys who are hanging around the movie set.
他开始与这些在电影片场闲逛的黑帮发生冲突。
And he had hired his little sister to work as a production assistant on this film, and Frankie Salemme Jr. keeps hitting on her, and she's scared of him, because he's a really scary, thuggish guy, and he won't leave her alone.
他雇佣了他的妹妹作为这部电影的制作助理，小弗兰基·萨勒姆不断地勾引她，她很害怕他，因为他是一个非常可怕、凶残的家伙，他不会丢下她不管。
So George goes to his sister's defense, as both an older brother and a movie producer, and takes Salemme aside and says--
于是乔治以哥哥和电影制片人的身份为妹妹辩护，并把塞勒姆拉到一边说——
If you look at my sister again, if you touch my sister again, if you touch anybody on the set, look at anybody on the set, I'm going to slap you with a sexual harassment suit that's going to make your head spin around.
如果你再看我的妹妹，如果你再碰我的妹妹，如果你碰了片场的任何人，看看片场的任何人，我就会用性骚扰诉讼打你一巴掌，这会让你头晕目眩。
Which is when he told me, you know, you don't know who I [BLEEP] am.
就在那时他告诉我，你知道，你不知道我[BLEEP]是谁。
You don't know who my [BLEEP] father is.
你不知道我的[BLEEP]父亲是谁。
You know, I'm going to [BLEEP] kill you.
你知道，我会[哔]杀了你。
For this family, that's not just a colorful expression.
对于这个家庭来说，这不仅仅是一个丰富多彩的表达。
That's actually like a way of life.
这实际上就像一种生活方式。
You know?
你知道？
That's actually a statement of intent.
这实际上是一个意向声明。
That's a contract, right there.
那是一份合同，就在那里。
They will find you-- fresh kills.
他们会找到你——新鲜的猎物。
You know?
你知道？
And so he sort of almost tries to make good on it one night.
因此，他几乎想在某个晚上实现这一目标。
George doesn't find this out until years later, when the whole story comes out.
直到多年后，当整个故事真相大白时，乔治才发现这一点。
George is doing some work in his hotel room, drawing up budgets, and Frankie Salemme comes upstairs with the intention-- he would admit later-- of throwing him out a window and killing him.
乔治正在他的酒店房间里做一些工作，制定预算，弗兰基·萨勒姆上楼的目的是——他后来承认——把他扔出窗外并杀死他。
And he is stopped in the hallway by our hero, Robert the Neck.
他在走廊里被我们的英雄罗伯特·脖子拦住了。
Robert Franchi, the mob informant, tackles him in the hallway and talks him out of it and says, why don't you cool down, it's not that big a deal, he's just a punk, you don't want anything to do with it, and sends him on his way.
黑帮线人罗伯特·弗兰奇在走廊里拦住了他，劝他别再这样了，并说，你为什么不冷静下来，这没什么大不了的，他只是个小混混，你不想和这件事有任何关系，然后就打发他走了。
So Robert the Neck is turning out to be the sort of moral center of this whole event.
因此，“脖子罗伯特”成为整个事件的道德中心。
So at what point do they finally pull the plug?
那么他们什么时候最终会终止呢？
They pull the plug two weeks before they're supposed to go into production.
他们在计划投入生产前两周就停止了生产。
And what happens is that somebody at the Justice Department is reviewing case files for undercover work for the FBI and discovers that the FBI is about to make a film in New England starring real actors in order to entrap the mob.
发生的事情是，司法部的某人正在审查联邦调查局卧底工作的案件档案，发现联邦调查局即将在新英格兰拍摄一部由真人演员主演的电影，以诱捕暴徒。
And they pull the plug on it within an hour.
他们在一小时内拔掉了插头。
You know, they've made a series of frantic phone calls saying, whose idea is this?
你知道，他们已经打了一系列疯狂的电话，询问这是谁的主意？
This is an incredibly bad idea.
这是一个极其糟糕的主意。
We could all get sued, at the very least.
至少我们都可能被起诉。
And some people could get killed.
有些人可能会被杀。
Some of these innocent people who've been put in between the teamsters, the FBI, and the mob.
其中一些无辜的人被夹在卡车司机、联邦调查局和暴徒之间。
This is a very dangerous thing to involve citizens with.
让公民参与其中是一件非常危险的事情。
And Schweickhardt fights for it with his life.
施韦克哈特为此付出了生命的代价。
And one of the things that he's told by the FBI is that the Justice Department feels that it could be an embarrassment to the federal government to find out that taxpayer money had been used to make a crappy low-budget movie.
联邦调查局告诉他的一件事是，司法部认为，如果联邦政府发现纳税人的钱被用来制作一部蹩脚的低成本电影，这可能会让联邦政府感到尴尬。
At which point Schweickhardt says, but it's going to be a really good movie.
施韦克哈特此时说道，但这将是一部非常好的电影。
Aww.
哇。
Elizabeth Gilbert You know?
伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特 你知道吗？
Like he's so hurt that they would think that he wasn't going to make a really good movie.
就像他受伤了一样，他们会认为他不会拍出一部真正的好电影。
He's like, it's not anything that anybody would be embarrassed about.
他说，这不是什么让人感到尴尬的事情。
It's going to be a really, really good movie script.
这将是一个非常非常好的电影剧本。
It's a great script.
这是一个很棒的剧本。
This argument does not carry the day with the United States Justice Department.
这一论点并没有得到美国司法部的支持。
Rudder has to call George and tell him that the dentists have pulled out again.
鲁德不得不打电话给乔治，告诉他牙医又撤了。
George is crushed.
乔治崩溃了。
Rudder is crushed.
舵被压坏了。
Everybody on the film gets fired.
电影中的每个人都被解雇了。
A year and a half passes before George Moffly finally gets told what it was all about, when the Justice Department contacts him and asks him to testify to a secret grand jury about the movie.
一年半过去了，乔治·莫夫利终于被告知事情的真相，司法部联系了他，要求他就这部电影向秘密大陪审团作证。
He declines that invitation.
他拒绝了这个邀请。
Being lied to for two years, working on a fake movie, and nearly getting thrown out of a window made him feel like he'd served the country enough already.
被骗了两年，拍了一部假电影，差点被扔出窗外，这些让他觉得自己已经为国家服务够多了。
The Justice Department does OK in court.
司法部在法庭上做得很好。
Not great.
不太好。
Only one guy goes to prison.
只有一个人入狱。
But the whole case scares the Teamsters and the mob in New England enough that in the end, despite everything that was wrong-headed and ill-conceived about Garland Schweickhardt's original plan, it actually achieves what it set out to do.
但整个案件让卡车司机和新英格兰的暴徒们感到足够害怕，尽管加兰·施韦克哈特最初的计划有很多错误和考虑不周的地方，但最终它实际上实现了它的初衷。
The mob and the Teamsters stopped shaking down film crews in New England.
暴徒和卡车司机不再勒索新英格兰的电影摄制组。
So maybe the plan wasn't so crazy, though it might have been smart to change a few of the details.
所以也许这个计划并没有那么疯狂，尽管改变一些细节可能是明智的。
Coming up.
即将到来。
Girl meets boy, girl loses boy, girl concocts far-fetched but weirdly possibly effective MacGyver-like scheme concerning boy.
女孩遇见了男孩，女孩失去了男孩，女孩针对男孩制定了牵强但可能有效的麦盖弗式计划。
In a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
距离芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台一分钟后，我们的节目仍在继续。
Act Four: A Girl's Guide To Mending The Unmendable Ira Glass It's This American Life.
第四幕：修复无法修复的艾拉·格拉斯的女孩指南 这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today's program, ingenious MacGyver-like schemes, real ones.
今天的节目，巧妙的类似MacGyver的方案，真实的。
Some of them, like this next one, invented by people like you and me.
其中一些，比如下一个，是由像你我这样的人发明的。
We are at Act Four of our program.
我们的计划已进入第四幕。
Act Four.
第四幕。
A Girl's Guide to Mending the Unmendable.
女孩治愈无法治愈的指南。
Susan Burton tells the story.
苏珊·伯顿讲述了这个故事。
The summer I graduated from high school, I had a boyfriend who now, years later, I think of as a creep.
我高中毕业那年夏天，我有了一个男朋友，多年后的今天，我认为他是个怪人。
Since he had my husband's name, I won't call him that.
因为他跟我丈夫的名字一样，所以我不会那样称呼他。
Instead I'll call him what I called him later, which is Shane.
相反，我会用我后来对他的称呼来称呼他，那就是谢恩。
Shane was my friend Lisa's older brother.
谢恩是我朋友丽莎的哥哥。
I was 17, and he was 23.
那年我17岁，他23岁。
Shane was the only person I'd ever been friends with who had been alive in the 1960s.
谢恩是我唯一一个生活在 20 世纪 60 年代的朋友。
Of course, he'd only been a toddler, but that wasn't the way I thought about it.
当然，他只是个蹒跚学步的孩子，但我不是这么想的。
Shane was so old that he'd been alive in history.
谢恩已经那么老了，他已经活在历史之中了。
Shane was also the first person I knew who'd been engaged.
谢恩也是我认识的第一个订婚的人。
The girl he'd been engaged to was named Kathy.
他订婚的女孩名叫凯西。
They lived together during college, but then she ran off with the manager of Wild Oats, the local health food store.
他们在大学期间住在一起，但后来她与当地保健食品商店野燕麦的经理私奔。
It sounded to me like Kathy was a hippie.
在我看来，凯西是个嬉皮士。
I worked at a health food store too, but my health food store was called Alfalfa's, and it was the type of place where there was less hummus and more pate.
我也在保健品店工作过，不过我的保健品店叫紫花苜蓿店，是那种鹰嘴豆泥少，肉酱多的地方。
There were a lot of Colorado moms in Volvos.
沃尔沃里有很多科罗拉多妈妈。
I would watch them as they wrote checks.
我会看着他们写支票。
They had big diamond engagement rings from earlier that they now had to figure out how to coordinate with the turquoise jewelry they'd discovered when they moved to the West later in life.
他们早些时候拥有大钻石订婚戒指，现在必须弄清楚如何与他们后来搬到西方时发现的绿松石珠宝相搭配。
One lady, every time she came in, bought lobster salad and leaned in to tell me, "Dear, you wear turquoise very well." I would smile.
一位女士每次进来都会买龙虾沙拉，然后倾身告诉我：“亲爱的，你穿绿松石色的衣服真好看。”我会微笑。
I loved everything about Alfalfa's.
我喜欢苜蓿的一切。
I loved imagining the lives of the people in my line.
我喜欢想象我这一行人的生活。
I would talk to them about their groceries.
我会和他们谈论他们的杂货。
"What do you think of that soy cheese pizza?" I would say.
“你觉得那个大豆奶酪披萨怎么样？”我会说。
Or, "I really like those Rice Dream moon pies."
或者，“我真的很喜欢那些米梦月饼。”
One morning that summer I looked up and Shane was in my line.
那年夏天的一天早上，我抬头一看，谢恩就在我的队伍里。
It was the first time we'd been together, by ourselves, without his sister.
这是我们第一次单独在一起，没有他妹妹的陪伴。
He was holding a single can of all-natural dog food.
他手里拿着一罐纯天然狗粮。
"I ran out of food for the dogs," he said.
“我没有给狗吃的食物了，”他说。
Instead of putting the can on the counter, like most people did, he put it right into my hand.
他没有像大多数人那样把罐子放在柜台上，而是直接放在我手里。
And then it started.
然后事情就开始了。
Shane was the best boyfriend I'd ever had.
谢恩是我有过的最好的男朋友。
I felt so grown up, walking across the lawn to his two-story condo, wearing lipstick and cowboy boots.
涂着口红、穿着牛仔靴，穿过草坪走向他的两层公寓，我感觉自己长大了。
He would be there inside, reading a book on the couch with his two dogs.
他会在里面和他的两只狗一起在沙发上看书。
He'd jump up and kiss me and open me a beer, which he could buy at Liquor Mart himself.
他会跳起来亲吻我，然后给我开一瓶啤酒，他可以自己在酒市场买。
We'd sit and talk, and every so often, he'd go to the bookshelf, and soon I'd have a whole stack in front of me.
我们会坐下来聊天，他时不时地会走到书架前，很快我面前就会有一大堆书。
There were so many books he wanted me to read, and movies he wanted me to see.
他想让我读很多书，让我看很多电影。
It was like a project to cram it all in.
这就像一个将所有内容都塞进去的项目。
I'd ride my bike home from Alfalfa's at night and he'd surprise me.
晚上我从紫花苜蓿家骑自行车回家，他会给我带来惊喜。
Be there outside my house in his car, the windows down, playing, very softly, one of my favorite songs.
在我家外面，开着他的车，车窗摇下，非常轻柔地播放着我最喜欢的歌曲之一。
I'd get in the car and we'd start driving, and he'd look over at me in the passenger seat and tell me the thing I was doing with my thumbs was a known sign of genius.
我上了车，我们开始开车，他会看着坐在乘客座位上的我，告诉我，我用拇指做的事情是众所周知的天才标志。
He thought I would be the one in of my class to become famous first.
他认为我会是班里第一个出名的人。
Soon it was time for me to go to college and for Shane to go back to his job teaching at a junior high.
很快我就该上大学了，肖恩也该回去初中教书了。
Before I left, Shane wrote me a poem and give me a silver barrette from one of the Native American jewelry stores.
在我离开之前，谢恩给我写了一首诗，并送给我一个来自美洲原住民珠宝店的银发夹。
Flying across the plains in August, fingering the barrette in my hair, I decided I would miss Shane, but not in a terminal, serious, sad girl way.
八月飞过平原，抚摸着头发上的发夹，我决定我会想念肖恩，但不是以一种最终的、严肃的、悲伤的女孩的方式。
It had been a perfect summer.
那是一个完美的夏天。
Then I was at school.
然后我在学校。
It was the last year before email really took off, and everyone still wrote letters.
那是电子邮件真正流行起来的最后一年，每个人仍然写信。
I had good letters.
我有很好的信。
Once Shane drew a cartoon of his dogs over the flap.
有一次，谢恩在门襟上画了一幅他的狗的漫画。
"The boys say hi!" Another time he wrote, "As soon as I sealed this, I felt like writing more." And one time he wrote, "I love you very much."
“孩子们打招呼！”另一次，他写道：“当我把这封信封好后，我就想写更多。”有一次他写道：“我非常爱你。”
I thought about this a lot.
我想了很多。
We'd never said it to each other in real life, but now I didn't know.
我们在现实生活中从未对彼此说过这句话，但现在我不知道了。
I wondered.
我想知道。
I thought that maybe I had underestimated my feelings for Shane.
我想也许我低估了我对谢恩的感情。
Instead of thinking of him less, I was thinking of him more.
我非但没有少想他，反而更多地想他。
Unfortunately, his letters decreased in direct proportion to my thoughts.
不幸的是，他的来信与我的想法成正比地减少。
Worst, in his last notes, he'd begun to mention a first-grade teacher named Tina.
最糟糕的是，在他最后的笔记中，他开始提到一位名叫蒂娜的一年级老师。
One night I brought the cordless phone up to my top bunk and I called him.
一天晚上，我把无绳电话拿到我的上铺，给他打了电话。
He said, "Well, I have some good news.
他说：“好吧，我有一些好消息。
I'm getting married, to Tina, the first-grade teacher." And that was when I knew-- I loved Shane.
我要和一年级老师蒂娜结婚了。”就在那时我知道——我爱肖恩。
Back home in Boulder for the summer, I couldn't get Shane out of my head.
夏天回到博尔德的家后，我一直无法忘记肖恩。
Wearing a skirt, I would ride my muddy mountain bike fast up Arapahoe Road, which I knew he had to drive on a lot, hoping he would see me.
我穿着裙子，骑着泥泞的山地自行车沿着阿拉帕霍路快速行驶，我知道他必须经常开车，希望他能看到我。
I thought the skirt plus the mud made me look wild and pretty at the same time.
我觉得裙子加上泥土让我看起来既狂野又漂亮。
At night, I'd tilt my halogen bike light upward so that it would cast a mysterious glow upon my face.
晚上，我会将卤素自行车灯向上倾斜，这样它就会在我的脸上投射出神秘的光芒。
I'd lean forward, peddling furiously.
我会向前倾身，拼命地叫卖。
Drive by, Shane, I'd think.
我想，谢恩，开车过去吧。
Drive by and see me.
开车过来见我。
Sometimes in this fantasy, it was Tina who would notice.
有时在这个幻想中，蒂娜会注意到。
"Look at that girl on her bike," she'd say.
“看看那个骑自行车的女孩，”她说。
"Look at how fast she's going.
“看看她走得多快。
And she's so pretty." And Shane would glance away from the road, and it would be me.
而且她非常漂亮。”肖恩会把目光从路上移开，那就是我。
There would be a silence as he turned back to the wheel, him deciding.
当他转回方向盘，做出决定时，周围一片寂静。
They'd slow down at the light.
他们会在红绿灯处放慢速度。
He'd get in the left lane, turn on his blinker.
他会进入左侧车道，打开方向灯。
"That's Susan," he'd finally say.
“那是苏珊，”他最后说道。
"That's Susan?" Tina would say, whipping around just in time to catch me flying over a hill, my hair the lightest thing in the dark night.
“那是苏珊？”蒂娜会这么说，她猛地转过身来，正好赶上我飞越一座小山，我的头发是黑夜中最浅的东西。
And then they would drive back to his parents' house, Shane filled with regret, Tina feeling inadequate.
然后他们会开车回到他父母家，谢恩充满遗憾，蒂娜则感到自己不够好。
And the next day, while Tina was out, he'd be overcome.
第二天，当蒂娜不在的时候，他就会被征服。
He would come to buy a can of dog food at Alfalfa's.
他会来紫花苜蓿店买一罐狗粮。
This summer, not even Alfalfa's was fun.
今年夏天，就连紫花苜蓿也不好玩。
The new darling of the front end was a high school sophomore whose father kissed her goodbye outside the automatic doors each morning.
前端的新宠是一名高中二年级学生，她的父亲每天早上都会在自动门外与她吻别。
The woman who had been so impressed with my ability to wear turquoise seemed not to recognize me when I rang up her lobster salad.
当我给那位女士的龙虾沙拉打电话时，她对我穿绿松石色的能力印象深刻，但她似乎没有认出我。
I'd stand there in my apron, frowning over products that had once delighted me, like Frookies, and dreaming of the day Shane would stop by.
我会穿着围裙站在那里，皱起眉头看着那些曾经让我高兴的产品，比如 Frookies，并梦想着有一天 Shane 会过来。
But it never, ever happened.
但它从未发生过。
He never even came in for just one look.
他从来没有进来看过一眼。
I'd become a completely different girl.
我会变成一个完全不同的女孩。
Less shiny, less charming, less likely to become famous.
不那么闪亮，不那么迷人，更不可能出名。
One day I resolved to get over Shane before the wedding.
有一天，我决定在婚礼前克服谢恩。
It seemed important not to think about him once he was married.
一旦他结婚了，就不要再去想他，这似乎很重要。
Pathetic, but wrong too, in a way that was possibly actionable.
可悲的是，但从某种可能可行的角度来看也是错误的。
The problem was I had no idea how to go about it.
问题是我不知道该怎么做。
The one bright spot in my summer was my fiction writing workshop.
我夏天的一个亮点是我的小说写作研讨会。
I'd signed up for a class at the University of Colorado that met two evenings a week.
我报名参加了科罗拉多大学的一个课程，每周有两个晚上。
One evening I rode home thinking about my story, "Sunday Morning." "Sunday Morning" was told in the voice of a 12-year-old girl whose parents were on the verge of divorce.
一天晚上，我骑车回家，想着我的故事“周日早晨”。 《周日早晨》的讲述者是一位 12 岁女孩，她的父母正处于离婚边缘。
Like every story I'd ever written, it was based on a real-life experience.
就像我写过的每个故事一样，它是基于现实生活的经历。
In one part of the story, I said that the house was always cold, because the father didn't like to waste money on the heating bill.
在故事的一部分中，我说房子总是很冷，因为父亲不喜欢在取暖费上浪费钱。
In another part, I mentioned a photograph of girls in matching dresses at the country club.
在另一部分中，我提到了一张在乡村俱乐部穿着相配衣服的女孩的照片。
These were just regular old details from my childhood, but the class had seized on them.
这些只是我童年时常见的旧细节，但班级抓住了它们。
They thought the country club symbolized an earlier, golden era, and the cold house meant that now the money was gone, and soon the family would be too.
他们认为乡村俱乐部象征着更早的黄金时代，而寒冷的房子意味着现在钱已经没了，很快这个家庭也会消失。
Now, swooping down the bike path, I considered whether, in addition to not getting along, my parents had been losing money.
现在，沿着自行车道猛冲过去，我开始思考，除了不和睦之外，我的父母是否还一直在赔钱。
It wasn't a point I had intended to make, but it was right there in the details for the class to discover.
这不是我本来想表达的观点，但它就在细节中供全班同学发现。
They could see things about your life that you couldn't.
他们可以看到你生活中你看不到的事情。
They could tell you things about your own world that you haven't realized.
他们可以告诉你一些你尚未意识到的关于你自己的世界的事情。
And that's when I got the idea.
就在那时我有了这个想法。
I would write the exact story of my relationship with Shane, the lost, magic summer, him set to marry Tina, the way I couldn't get over him now.
我会写下我和肖恩的关系的确切故事，那个迷失的、神奇的夏天，他即将与蒂娜结婚，我现在无法忘记他。
I would introduce the class to me, the static protagonist, and they would tell me how to act.
我会向班级介绍我这个静态的主角，他们会告诉我如何表演。
They would not only tell me how to get over Shane.
他们不仅会告诉我如何克服谢恩。
They would tell me why it had all happened, what it all meant.
他们会告诉我这一切为什么会发生，这一切意味着什么。
I would tell them my own story, and they would explain it to me.
我会告诉他们我自己的故事，他们会向我解释。
The next morning, during my shift at Alfalfa's, I sipped from a giant glass of hot tea with soy milk and planned out the story.
第二天早上，在紫花苜蓿公司值班期间，我喝了一大杯加豆奶的热茶，并计划了这个故事。
The action would take place on the day of the wedding.
该行动将在婚礼当天进行。
It would be a race against the clock scenario.
这将是一场与时间赛跑的场景。
The protagonist would have 24 hours to get over her ex-boyfriend.
主角有24小时的时间来忘记她的前男友。
This struck me as an elegant conceit, and also an efficient one.
我觉得这是一个优雅的想法，也是一个有效的想法。
If I woke up on the day of the wedding and wasn't yet over Shane, I wouldn't have to sweat.
如果我在婚礼当天醒来并且还没有结束Shane，我就不必出汗了。
Thanks to the class, I'd have a 24-hour cure.
多亏了这门课，我才能得到24小时的治愈。
That evening, I sat at the computer.
那天晚上，我坐在电脑前。
"On the day of the wedding, I worked a double shift," I wrote.
“婚礼当天，我轮班工作，”我写道。
"I punched in prices off cans of tuna and pints of Ben and Jerry's, weighed bags of peaches and by-the-pound salads from the salad bar, scooped change out of my drawer and counted it into customers' hands."
“我打出了金枪鱼罐头和本杰瑞啤酒罐头的价格，称了沙拉吧里一袋袋桃子和按磅沙拉的重量，从抽屉里拿出零钱，数到顾客手中。”
I sat back and considered my opening.
我坐下来考虑我的开口。
This was the right idea, but I wanted to change it slightly.
这是正确的想法，但我想稍微改变一下。
I didn't want all the details to be exactly, exactly like my life.
我不希望所有的细节都和我的生活一模一样。
I copied the old version into a new document and began again.
我将旧版本复制到新文档中并重新开始。
"On the day of the wedding, I worked a double shift.
“婚礼当天，我实行两班倒。
In 14 hours, I made 39 goat cheese and bagel sandwiches, wrapped 106 lunch boats in tight Saran wrap, and sliced through 16 different 10-inch cakes on the course of waiting on at least 357 customers.
在 14 小时内，我做了 39 个山羊奶酪和百吉饼三明治，用紧紧的保鲜膜包裹了 106 个午餐船，并在等待至少 357 名顾客的过程中切了 16 个不同的 10 英寸蛋糕。
I was counting to keep my mind off of some other things."
我正在数数，让自己的注意力从其他事情上转移开。”
I sat back.
我坐了回去。
There, I thought, satisfied.
就这样，我心满意足地想。
As long as I switch myself from the front end to the deli department, nobody will know this is me.
只要我从前端转到熟食部，没人会知道这是我。
I called the story "Waiting." Like the girl behind the deli counter, I would be stationed in the classroom, waiting to be delivered a satisfying end.
我把这个故事称为“等待”。就像熟食店柜台后面的女孩一样，我会驻扎在教室里，等待着一个令人满意的结局。
That evening I pedaled to class at race-day speed, full of anticipation.
那天晚上，我满怀期待地以比赛当天的速度骑着自行车去上课。
The class was a mix of undergrads and people a few years out of school, like a guy who rode the free trolley from coffeehouse to coffeehouse all day and an aerobics instructor with tan, very shiny legs.
班级里既有本科生，也有刚毕业几年的人，比如一个整天乘坐免费电车从一家咖啡馆到另一家咖啡馆的人，还有一位双腿晒得黝黑、闪闪发亮的健美操教练。
Then there was our teacher, George.
然后是我们的老师乔治。
"Let's start with 'Waiting,'" George said, as we sat down in class.
“让我们从‘等待’开始，”当我们在课堂上坐下时，乔治说道。
This was it.
就是这样。
I readied myself for the wise and luminous insights of my classmates.
我做好了接受同学们睿智而明亮的见解的准备。
"OK.
“好的。
Just starting with the first paragraph," said the aerobics instructor, "I highly doubt someone would count everything like that."
从第一段开始，”健美操教练说，“我非常怀疑有人会这样计算一切。”
"Yeah, but the girl.
“是啊，但是那个女孩。
What's her name?" a red-headed Southerner jumped in.
她叫什么名字？”一个红头发的南方人跳了进来。
"Katie?" He looked around the room for confirmation.
“凯蒂？”他环视房间以求确认。
"She says in the very next sentence, 'I was counting to keep my mind off of some other things.' It's not like she does it every day."
“她在下一句话中说道，‘我在数数是为了让我的注意力从其他事情上转移开。’她又不是每天都这么做。”
"I guess I just don't think it's very realistic that somebody could remember all that in their head," the aerobics instructor said.
“我想我只是认为有人能在脑子里记住所有这些是不太现实的，”健美操教练说。
"Maybe she was writing it down as she went along," somebody suggested.
“也许她一边写一边写下来，”有人建议道。
There were nods.
大家点头。
I returned the nod.
我也点头回应。
I leaned over the paper and made my first note.
我俯身在纸上做了我的第一个笔记。
"Counting," I wrote, followed by a question mark.
“数，”我写道，后面加上了一个问号。
Small potatoes, small potatoes, I thought.
小土豆，小土豆，我想。
Bring it on.
来吧。
What else?
还有什么？
"I was wondering where she went off to college," someone said.
“我想知道她去哪里上大学，”有人说。
"I mean, it's back East, but where?" Murmurs of agreement.
“我的意思是，它又回到了东方，但是在哪里呢？”低声表示同意。
"Where she went off to college," I dutifully wrote.
“她上大学的地方，”我尽职尽责地写道。
This was not going according to plan.
这并没有按计划进行。
Come on.
快点。
How should she should get over him?
她该如何摆脱他呢？
"Wait, wait, wait," said the aerobics instructor.
“等等，等等，等等，”健美操教练说。
"About the bride.
“关于新娘。
Or actually the wife.
或者实际上是妻子。
I thought it was weird how Katie never even thought about the wife, you know?
我觉得很奇怪，凯蒂从来没有想到过妻子，你知道吗？
She never even wondered what she was like."
她甚至从来没有想过自己是什么样的。”
I had to hand it to the aerobics instructor.
我不得不把它交给健美操教练。
Sometimes she would come out with something really sharp.
有时她会拿出一些非常尖锐的东西。
"Why didn't she think about the wife?" I wrote, with a big, filled-in arrow next to the note.
“她为什么不为妻子着想呢？”我在注释旁边写了一个大的实心箭头。
Why didn't I ever think about Tina, I wondered.
我想知道为什么我从来没有想过蒂娜。
"I guess also I didn't really have a sense of Shane," someone added.
“我想我也对肖恩没有真正的感觉，”有人补充道。
"I mean, it says he's a teacher and stuff like that, but I mean more about why he got married so quick." "Why Shane got married so quick," I noted.
“我的意思是，上面说他是一名老师之类的，但我的意思更多的是关于他为什么这么快结婚。” “为什么肖恩这么快就结婚了，”我指出。
I was starting to see that there might be a problem.
我开始意识到可能有问题。
The class had some of the same questions about the characters that I did.
全班同学对我提出的角色提出了一些相同的问题。
"Let's talk about Katie's feelings for Shane," the teacher said.
“我们来谈谈凯蒂对肖恩的感情，”老师说。
OK.
好的。
Now we're getting somewhere, I thought.
我想，现在我们已经取得进展了。
"There was this one part that I thought was pretty telling," said one of the older students, "where she says-- on page three, midway down the page." There was the sound of people flipping.
“我认为有一个部分非常有说服力，”一位年纪较大的学生说，“她在第三页中间的位置说。”传来人翻身的声音。
"I don't think I loved Shane until he told me he was getting married."
“在肖恩告诉我他要结婚之前，我认为我并不爱他。”
"Exactly," George nodded.
“没错，”乔治点点头。
"But I think it's getting buried in there.
“但我认为它被埋在那里了。
You might want to make it bigger," he said, addressing me directly, "or earlier.
你可能想把它做得更大，”他直接对我说，“或者更早一些。
"But you wouldn't want to make that too much the point," someone said, "because obviously she was having a really hard time getting over him.
“但你不想过分强调这一点，”有人说，“因为显然她很难忘记他。
I mean, she did feel something for him."
我的意思是，她确实对他有感觉。”
"Well, I think that's an interesting question," George said, tipping back in his chair.
“嗯，我认为这是一个有趣的问题，”乔治说，靠在椅子上。
"What are Katie's true feelings?
“凯蒂的真实感受是什么？
Is this is a story about social status, or is this a story about true love?" I didn't like the way the question was framed.
这是一个关于社会地位的故事，还是一个关于真爱的故事？”我不喜欢这个问题的提出方式。
"Social," the aerobics instructor said.
“社交，”健美操教练说。
"Definitely social.
“绝对是社交。
It seemed like she liked having an older boyfriend." Where was this in my story?
她似乎喜欢有一个年长的男朋友。”这在我的故事中在哪里？
But everyone was nodding.
但大家都在点头。
Encouraged, the aerobics instructor added, "I mean, if they'd been in love, it would have clicked when they were still together."
受到鼓励的健美操教练补充道，“我的意思是，如果他们相爱，那么当他们还在一起的时候就会一拍即合。”
No!
不！
I felt everything slump inside me.
我感觉我内心的一切都崩溃了。
As everyone bobbed their heads in agreement, that Shane and I hadn't been in love, I looked very intently at my paper.
当每个人都点头同意我和谢恩没有恋爱时，我非常专注地看着我的论文。
"Why didn't anything click?" I wrote.
“为什么没有任何响动？”我写的。
Then I couldn't write the rest of it, so I just made a long dash.
然后我就写不下去了，所以我就长长地划了一下。
"Maybe she's going through something more than just Shane," somebody suggested.
“也许她正在经历的不仅仅是肖恩，”有人建议道。
I perked up a little.
我精神抖擞一点。
This was definitely possible.
这绝对是可能的。
"But there's not enough in here to give us a sense of what that other thing she's going through might be," said George.
“但是这里还不足以让我们了解她正在经历的其他事情可能是什么，”乔治说。
"We don't know much about Katie.
“我们对凯蒂了解不多。
She went off to college.
她去上大学了。
She enjoys mountain biking.
她喜欢山地自行车。
But aside from that, who is she?"
但除此之外，她是谁？”
She's me, I thought.
她就是我，我想。
Look over here!
看这里！
Blonde hair, green skirt, far corner.
金发，绿裙，远角。
The class was silent.
课堂上一片寂静。
Then George turned his entire body and looked me straight in the eye.
然后乔治转动了整个身体，直视着我的眼睛。
Oh God, I thought.
天哪，我想。
They know.
他们知道。
"Susan, you might need to do a little pre-writing about Katie.
“苏珊，你可能需要预先写一些关于凯蒂的内容。
Get a sense of who she is.
了解一下她是谁。
Figure her out a little more." Yes.
多了解一下她。”是的。
I nodded vigorously, as if I, too, was hoping to unlock the mysteries of this girl I'd created.
我用力地点点头，仿佛我也希望解开这个我创造的女孩的谜团。
"OK.
“好的。
Well, we should really move on to the next one," said George.
好吧，我们真的应该继续下一个，”乔治说。
"Susan, I guess my final comment would be that the story needs an end.
“苏珊，我想我的最后评论是这个故事需要结束。
But it develops well.
但发展得很好。
Nice job," he said.
干得好，”他说。
I sat there blankly.
我茫然地坐在那里。
The story needs an end?
故事需要结局吗？
I thought.
我想。
No duh, it needs an end.
不，呃，它需要一个结束。
We are gathered together today to figure out the end.
今天我们聚集在一起，找出结局。
The story needing an end is the whole reason we are here.
故事需要一个结局，这就是我们来到这里的全部原因。
And now we just started talking about some other person's work.
现在我们刚刚开始谈论其他人的工作。
I sat very still and looked around the bright room, all of us at the desks in a big circle.
我一动不动地坐着，环顾明亮的房间，我们所有人都坐在办公桌前围成一个大圈。
Nothing had happened.
什么也没发生。
I was still the same.
我还是一样。
Except for now I'd tried this, and it seemed like I had no more chances.
只是现在我已经尝试过了，而且似乎我没有更多的机会了。
I rode my bike home slowly.
我骑着自行车慢慢回家。
It made me feel lonely, thinking of the way they'd talked about my life.
想到他们谈论我的生活的方式，这让我感到孤独。
It was so in general.
总的来说就是这样。
None of them knew that they were talking about a real girl in the world.
他们谁都不知道他们正在谈论世界上一个真正的女孩。
Then, as the days went by, I felt better.
然后，随着日子一天天过去，我感觉好多了。
The class had acted like my story wasn't so unusual.
全班同学表现得好像我的故事并不罕见。
Just some old thing with an ex-boyfriend.
只是和前男友的一些旧事。
It made the whole thing feel smaller, like less of an emergency.
这让整个事情变得更小了，就像不那么紧急了。
Dozens of girls now riding their mountain bikes through these very foothills had dated boys and been hurt.
现在，数十名骑着山地自行车穿过这些山麓的女孩曾与男孩约会并受到伤害。
It was something that people had heard of, something that happened all the time.
这是人们都听说过的事情，也是经常发生的事情。
It was a known thing that made people sad.
这是一件众所周知的事情，让人感到悲伤。
Now I rode my bike along Arapahoe Road at the speed of a regular girl, wearing regular clothes, like shorts, and pointing my bike light in the regular direction, straight ahead.
现在，我以普通女孩的速度沿着阿拉帕霍路骑自行车，穿着短裤等普通衣服，并将自行车灯指向正常方向，笔直向前。
For a while I still thought about Shane, and then suddenly, I didn't think about him at all.
有一段时间我还想着谢恩，然后突然之间，我就完全不想他了。
Except on every birthday, when I would think, I'm still not as old as he was.
除了每一个生日的时候，我都会想，我还没有他那么老。
And then I was 23, and that was it.
然后我就23岁了，就这样了。
I didn't think about him anymore.
我不再想他了。
Susan Burton from New York.
来自纽约的苏珊·伯顿。
Credits Ira Glass Well you can download audio of our program at audible.com/thisamericanlife, where they have public radio programs, bestselling books, even the New York Times, all at audible.com.
感谢 Ira Glass 嗯，您可以在 audible.com/thisamericanlife 下载我们节目的音频，那里有公共广播节目、畅销书，甚至纽约时报，所有这些都在 audible.com 上。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 监督。
I only agreed to host This American Life because he promised me years ago--
我同意主持《美国生活》只是因为他多年前就向我承诺过——
Brian Dennehy is really interested in being in it, and so is Rebecca De Mornay.
布莱恩·丹内利 (Brian Dennehy) 非常有兴趣参与其中，丽贝卡·德·莫妮 (Rebecca De Mornay) 也是如此。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。