24: Teenaged Girls - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #24 | May 24, 1996 24: Teenaged Girls Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 24 集 | 1996 年 5 月 24 日 24：十几岁的女孩 注：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass All right, now this moment from the life of a teenage girl in these United States.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 好吧，现在是美国一个十几岁女孩的生活的这一刻。
School has just let out.
学校刚刚放学。
Perfect spring day.
完美的春天。
Kara and her boyfriend, Jeremy, come outside, and he jumps on her back.
卡拉和她的男朋友杰里米来到外面，他跳到了她的背上。
Get off me.
从我身上下来。
Jeremy, come on.
杰里米，来吧。
You're hurting my back.
你弄痛了我的背。
When I recorded this, I'd been doing documentary radio stories on Kara and her friends for two years.
当我录制这段视频时，我已经做了两年关于卡拉和她的朋友们的纪录片广播故事。
So it was natural that at this point, Kara would just turn to me and say--
所以很自然地，在这一点上，卡拉会转向我说——
Ira, kick his butt.
艾拉，踢他的屁股。
Get away from me.
离我远点。
You're too violent.
你太暴力了。
Jeremy, stop.
杰里米，停下来。
Well, today on our program, the lives of teenage girls.
好吧，今天我们的节目是少女的生活。
From WBEZ Chicago, you're listening to This American Life.
在 WBEZ 芝加哥，您正在收听《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass, back for another week, to kick your butt.
我是艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass），又回来一周了，来踢你们的屁股。
Not really.
并不真地。
Back for another week documenting everyday stories of these United States using all the tools of radio storytelling-- documentaries, monologues, overheard conversations, found tapes, anything we can think of.
又一周，我们用广播讲故事的所有工具来记录这些美国人的日常故事——纪录片、独白、无意中听到的对话、发现的磁带，以及我们能想到的任何东西。
And to consider the question of what it's like to be a teenager in America today, consider this incident between Kara and Jeremy and their friends.
要考虑当今美国的青少年是什么样子的问题，请考虑卡拉和杰里米以及他们的朋友之间的这件事。
They had just come outside after a rehearsal for a school play that Kara is putting together based on the writings of Henry Rollins.
他们刚刚排练完卡拉正在根据亨利·罗林斯的著作编排的学校戏剧来到外面。
And if you don't know his work, Henry Rollins is a pop star.
如果您不了解亨利·罗林斯的作品，他是一位流行歌星。
He plays this sort of testosterone-loaded post-punk rock.
他演奏的是这种充满睾丸激素的后朋克摇滚乐。
And at the time of this recording, he was Kara's favorite writer.
在录音时，他是卡拉最喜欢的作家。
So, Kara, do you have a favorite piece in the Rollins show?
那么，卡拉，罗林斯秀中你有最喜欢的作品吗？
She pulls out the papers that comprise the show's script, and she reads to me.
她拿出构成节目剧本的文件，然后读给我听。
And I should say here that Rollins and our 18-year-old teenager get rather graphic here in a way that might not be suitable for younger listeners.
我应该在这里说，罗林斯和我们 18 岁的少年在这里变得相当生动，但可能不适合年轻听众。
Rollins, in this poem, says that guys are basically scum.
罗林斯在这首诗中说，男人基本上都是败类。
Basically just scum.
基本上就是渣渣。
His vision is very unambiguous.
他的愿景非常明确。
They're scum.
他们就是人渣。
And he gives heartfelt advice to all women who he addresses as "ladies."
他向所有被他称为“女士”的女性提供衷心的建议。
"If you want equality to men, it's not going to come to you in the mail or in your sleep.
“如果你想要男女平等，它不会在邮件中或在你睡梦中降临到你身上。
You're going to have to take it, grab hold of it, wrench it out of their hairy-fisted grasp.
你必须接受它，抓住它，把它从他们毛茸茸的拳头手中夺走。
What I'm getting to is this-- go to the gunsmiths, get a 0.357 magnum with a long barrel.
我要做的是——去枪械制造商那里，买一把带长枪管的 0.357 马格南手枪。
Load it.
加载它。
Put in your bag.
放进你的包里。
Go on with your life.
继续你的生活。
OK, it's just another day.
好吧，这只是又一天。
You're walking down the street.
你正走在街上。
You pass this gas station.
你经过这个加油站。
Some gas station attendant is standing there, glaring at you, checking you out, smiling at you.
一些加油站服务员站在那里，瞪着你，检查你，对你微笑。
This ugly, greasy, stupid guy comes over to you and blocks your way as you try to walk down the street.
当你试图沿着街道行走时，这个丑陋、油腻、愚蠢的家伙向你走过来并挡住了你的路。
He breathes on you and says, hey, baby, looky here, seven inches.
他对着你呼吸说，嘿，宝贝，看这里，七英寸。
You pull out the gun, stick the barrel in his face, and scream, I've got eight mother [BLEEP], I've got eight.
你拔出枪，把枪管抵在他脸上，然后尖叫，我有八个，妈妈[哔]，我有八个。
There.
在那里。
Now you're speaking in terms he can must surely identify with.
现在你用他肯定能认同的语言说话。
You're not only equal.
你们不仅是平等的。
You dominate.
你占主导地位。
Believe me, it's come to this.
相信我，事情已经到了这一步。
Take advantage of their weakness.
利用他们的弱点。
They take advantage of yours.
他们利用你的优势。
You're entitled."
你有权利。”
The guys in the group all look at each other.
一群人都面面相觑。
Finally, Kara's boyfriend, Jeremy, says, "There's nothing wrong with a guy looking at you and thinking how good you look." Kara tells him that isn't the point.
最后，卡拉的男朋友杰里米说：“一个男人看着你并认为你看起来有多好看并没有什么错。”卡拉告诉他这不是重点。
No. They say things.
不，他们会说事。
They'll follow you.
他们会跟着你。
They'll come up to you, and they'll talk to you like this.
他们会向你走来，他们会这样和你说话。
And they'll make sure that they do that, that their pelvis is pushing against you here.
他们会确保他们这样做，他们的骨盆在这里推着你。
I have never, ever seen anybody do that, though.
不过，我从来没有见过有人这样做。
Kara tells him a story about some guy who was staring at her in a pool hall.
卡拉给他讲了一个关于一个男人在台球厅里盯着她看的故事。
So when I was leaving, he went-- he came up real close to me.
所以当我离开时，他走了——他离我非常近。
He's like, "Bye." I turned around, and I was like, "I hate rude men!" I screamed it, and then the entire pool hall was like-- and I was like--
他就像是，“再见。”我转过身来，心想：“我讨厌粗鲁的人！”我尖叫起来，然后整个台球厅就像——而我就像——
Man.
伙计。
You guys are rough.
你们真是粗暴啊
I'm never saying bye to a girl again in my life.
我这辈子再也不会和一个女孩说再见了。
Mary's boyfriend, Aaron, has joined the conversation.
玛丽的男朋友亚伦加入了谈话。
"So how should we treat girls?" He asks.
“那我们应该怎样对待女孩子呢？”他问道。
"If we like a girl, how do we let her know without offending her?"
“如果我们喜欢一个女孩，怎样才能让她知道而不冒犯她呢？”
Right.
正确的。
That's why I'm asking how should we do it.
这就是为什么我要问我们应该如何做。
And sometimes we don't know.
有时我们不知道。
And sometimes we don't know.
有时我们不知道。
Don't look at women like they're pieces of meat.
别把女人当成一块肉一样看待。
Because they're not.
因为他们不是。
But what if they're dressed like that and want to be looked at like that?
但如果他们穿成那样并且希望被人看成那样怎么办？
There's always that instinct in the guy.
这家伙身上总是有这种本能。
And if he sees something he really likes, he's going to look at it.
如果他看到他真正喜欢的东西，他就会去看。
If you would see a guy that you really like and really think is hot, you don't sit here--
如果你想见到一个你真正喜欢并且真的认为很性感的人，你就不会坐在这里——
[INTERPOSING VOICES] Aaron Wait, wait, wait.
[插话]亚伦等等，等等，等等。
Listen to me.
听我说。
Listen to me.
听我说。
Listen to me.
听我说。
One, two, microphone check.
一、二、麦克风检查。
Wait, listen.
等等，听着。
You're going to say, if a guy walks by that has a real nice butt that you like, you're not going to be like, damn.
你会说，如果一个男人走过，他有一个你喜欢的漂亮屁股，你不会说，该死的。
They talk about this for 20 minutes.
他们讨论了这个问题 20 分钟。
The boys ask over and over, what should we do?
男孩们一遍又一遍地问，我们该怎么办？
What do you want us to do?
你想让我们做什么？
How should we act?
我们应该如何行动？
And over and over, the girls name a few simple rules that anyone could follow if they pay attention.
女孩们一遍又一遍地列举了一些简单的规则，只要他们注意，任何人都可以遵循。
One, do not invade a girl's personal space.
第一，不要侵犯女孩的私人空间。
Two, don't say anything rude.
第二，不要说粗鲁的话。
Aaron says that certain things are only seen as rude if the girl doesn't like you.
亚伦说，只有当女孩不喜欢你时，某些事情才会被视为粗鲁。
If she thinks you're cute, then they're OK.
如果她认为你很可爱，那就没问题。
Say if I was real-- if I was good looking, and I was sitting there staring at you, and if I was all--
说如果我是真实的——如果我长得好看，而且我坐在那里盯着你，如果我是全部——
But how does he know that?
但他怎么知道呢？
If I was a dork, maybe I think I'm looking.
如果我是个傻瓜，也许我认为我在寻找。
What if we're just at the staring stage?
如果我们还处于起步阶段怎么办？
No, no. Because if you don't know somebody, you've got to go by their--
不，不。因为如果你不认识某人，你就必须按照他们的——
What's striking is that there are certain moments when it actually seems like the boys really do want to know how they should act.
引人注目的是，在某些时刻，男孩们似乎确实想知道自己应该如何行事。
They really want to know.
他们真的很想知道。
And in those moments it's clear that this conversation could only happen in high school.
在那些时刻，很明显这种对话只能发生在高中。
After high school, everyone's opinion about these questions is pretty much set.
高中毕业后，每个人对这些问题的看法就基本确定了。
But in high school, sometimes there's still a feeling that everything's up for grabs.
但在高中，有时仍然会有一种一切都可以争夺的感觉。
So you can tell your boyfriend not to be a jerk, and he might actually listen.
所以你可以告诉你的男朋友不要混蛋，他可能真的会听。
That's a good side of everything being up for grabs.
这是一切都可以争夺的好的一面。
There's also a bad side.
也有不好的一面。
With everything up for grabs, it's hard to know how you're supposed to act.
一切都可供争夺，很难知道自己应该如何行动。
Which brings us to today's program.
这就引出了今天的节目。
Our program today is made up of three stories about teenage girls who have to decide how they're going to act in situations where the ground rules are unclear and very malleable.
我们今天的节目由三个关于十几岁女孩的故事组成，她们必须决定在基本规则不明确且可塑性很大的情况下如何行动。
Act One of our program, Jo Carol Pierce bends the rules in a small town in Texas.
我们节目的第一幕，乔·卡罗尔·皮尔斯在德克萨斯州的一个小镇上打破了规则。
Act Two, Chicago writer Rennie Sparks struggles without rules in suburban America, somewhere.
第二幕，芝加哥作家雷尼·斯帕克斯在美国郊区的某个地方，在没有规则的情况下挣扎。
Act Three, a man tries to lay down rules for a girl.
第三幕，一个男人试图为一个女孩制定规则。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One: Texas Girl Ira Glass Act One, Texas Girl.
第一幕：德克萨斯女孩 艾拉·格拉斯 第一幕，德克萨斯女孩。
Jo Carol Pierce is this performer from Austin, Texas, who just put out her first album at the age of 51, squarely outside of the teenager category.
乔·卡罗尔·皮尔斯 (Jo Carol Pierce) 是一位来自德克萨斯州奥斯汀的表演者，她在 51 岁时刚刚发行了她的第一张专辑，完全不属于青少年类别。
But she talks about her teenage years in the record.
但她在记录中谈到了自己的青少年时期。
And she's working this really unusual style on this record.
她在这张专辑中采用了这种非常不寻常的风格。
The CD is called Bad Girls Upset By the Truth.
这张 CD 的名字是《Bad Girls Unset By the Truth》。
I have it here.
我这里有。
And over the course of the record, she tells this funny, emotional story punctuated periodically by songs she's written.
在录制过程中，她讲述了这个有趣而感人的故事，并定期穿插着她写的歌曲。
It's a version of American musical theater, one of the most American cultural forms.
这是美国音乐剧的一个版本，是最具美国文化的形式之一。
It's a kind of American musical theater that no one is bothering with, except for her.
这是一种美国音乐剧，除了她之外没有人会打扰。
And it's the kind of CD that is not going to get much radio air play anywhere, and so we thought that we would begin today's show by playing you just a chunk of this record, a couple songs and some of the story.
这种 CD 不会在任何地方得到太多的广播播放，所以我们认为我们将通过播放这张唱片的一部分、几首歌曲和一些故事来开始今天的节目。
And the story that she tells on the record begins with a suicide attempt, a teenager's suicide attempt.
她所记录的故事是从一次自杀企图开始的，一个青少年的自杀企图。
In real life, Jo Carol says that she thought about suicide well into her 30s, and she also worked at a suicide hotline.
在现实生活中，乔·卡罗尔说，她在 30 多岁的时候就想过自杀，而且她还在自杀热线工作。
And the suicide on the record comes during a fight with her boyfriend.
记录在案的自杀事件是在她与男友争吵期间发生的。
Me and my boyfriend were driving around the loop, and we were having a terrible fight.
我和我男朋友开车绕环路行驶，我们发生了一场可怕的争吵。
I remember that he called me a son of a bitch.
我记得他骂我是王八蛋。
And that confused me, so I opened the passenger door and flung myself into traffic.
这让我很困惑，所以我打开乘客门，冲进车流。
First, I was hit by a pink Coupe de Ville, knocked me into the path of an out of state semi and just squished me flat into that burning asphalt.
首先，我被一辆粉红色的 Coupe de Ville 撞到，把我撞到了一辆州外半挂车的路上，然后把我压扁在燃烧的柏油路上。
But after I had committed suicide, I started seeing things in a whole new light.
但在我自杀后，我开始以全新的眼光看待事物。
I noticed what a cute boy my boyfriend was.
我注意到我的男朋友是一个多么可爱的男孩。
Couldn't understand why I'd been calling him a decorated rat only moments before my fatal plunge.
不明白为什么我在我坠楼前不久还称他为装饰老鼠。
I took his hand.
我握住他的手。
It was chaffed and slightly smaller than mine.
它被擦伤了，比我的略小。
We went home, and I made him some biscuits and gravy from scratch, because I really wanted to.
我们回家后，我从头开始给他做了一些饼干和肉汁，因为我真的很想这么做。
It's good to commit suicide when there's something you just can't figure out.
当你无法弄清楚某些事情时，自杀是件好事。
Like when I hit high school and I found out you're a bitch if you don't and a whore if you do.
就像我上高中的时候，我发现如果你不这样做，你就是个婊子；如果你这样做，你就是个妓女。
Commit suicide when you've got a burning question that no one can answer for you.
当你遇到一个没有人能为你解答的紧迫问题时，就自杀吧。
Mine was, what are these boys for, and what am I supposed to do with them?
我的想法是，这些男孩有什么用，我该怎么处理他们？
Don't get upset about the war in the Middle East.
不要对中东战争感到不安。
Do something.
做点什么。
Kill yourself.
自杀吧。
It's good to commit suicide over small things that other people might neglect, like grocery shopping.
为了其他人可能忽视的小事而自杀是件好事，比如去杂货店购物。
I can't imagine walking into that ATB without first committing suicide.
我无法想象走进那个 ATB 而不先自杀。
Think about it.
想一想。
Commit suicide first thing in the morning.
早上第一件事就是自杀。
And that way, you feel better all day.
这样，你一整天都会感觉更好。
Do it your first day on a new job, and the next day you can call in dead.
在新工作的第一天就这样做，第二天你就可以打电话说死了。
Do it early in a love affair and just get it over with.
在恋爱初期就这样做，然后就结束了。
That's why me and the boys are going to commit suicide right now.
这就是为什么我和孩子们现在要自杀。
We hope that you will join us.
我们希望您能加入我们。
Just start getting really pitiful and morose, and in the third verse, we will slit our wrists.
开始变得非常可怜和忧郁，在第三节中，我们将割腕。
The main story of Bad Girls Upset By the Truth is this man, or this series of men, actually, who appear in Jo Carol's life.
《坏女孩因真相而烦恼》的主要故事是这个男人，或者实际上是这一系列男人，他们出现在乔·卡罗尔的生活中。
She calls them Secret Dans.
她称他们为“秘密丹”。
And she falls for them, sleeps with them, and it's a lot of them.
她爱上他们，和他们上床，而且他们有很多。
More, in fact, than anyone around her thinks is proper.
事实上，这比她周围任何人认为合适的都要多。
I got in a world of trouble going from Secret Dan to Secret Dan.
从“秘密丹”到“秘密丹”的过程中，我遇到了麻烦。
I got a bad reputation in my peer group.
我在同龄人中的名声很差。
Lots of my friends were getting married, and when they did, they would just drop me flat.
我的很多朋友都结婚了，当他们结婚的时候，他们只会让我失望。
And my friends that weren't real mad at me were real worried about me.
我的朋友们并没有真正生我的气，而是真正担心我。
And everybody was discouraging me from falling in love.
每个人都阻止我坠入爱河。
They said, Jo Carol, why don't you do something you're good at?
他们说，乔·卡罗尔，你为什么不做一些你擅长的事情呢？
So I tried to explain to them why I had to do these very upsetting things.
所以我试图向他们解释为什么我必须做这些非常令人沮丧的事情。
I said, look, the reason that I cannot pass up a single Secret Dan is that each one of them is just another side of Jesus.
我说，你看，我之所以不能放过任何一个秘丹，是因为它们每一个都只是耶稣的另一面。
And I know that because every time I kiss another one, I can feel Jesus right through his skin.
我知道这一点，因为每次我亲吻另一个人时，我都能透过他的皮肤感受到耶稣。
And I need to know Jesus fully.
我需要完全认识耶稣。
Jesus in a brown leather jacket.
穿着棕色皮夹克的耶稣。
Or the kind of thuggy Jesus with the hooded eyes like Robert Mitchum.
或者是像罗伯特·米彻姆那样眼睛被蒙住的暴徒耶稣。
Or the Jesus you want to make biscuits for.
或者你想为耶稣做饼干。
Or the Jesus you want to wrestle with.
或者是你想与之摔跤的耶稣。
Or the Catholic Jesus.
或者天主教耶稣。
Or the Jesus who's so good in bed you think he's Catholic, but really he's not.
或者是耶稣，他的床上功夫太好了，你以为他是天主教徒，但实际上他不是。
There was even a Yankee Jesus.
甚至还有一个洋基耶稣。
And my friends said, nuh-uh.
我的朋友们说，嗯。
But I could tell my friends were upset by the truth, because they'd go off in small groups and whisper.
但我看得出来，我的朋友们对事实感到不安，因为他们会三五成群地走开，窃窃私语。
And every once in a while I would hear this phrase, "mental hospital." And it made me nervous, so I got married.
每隔一段时间我就会听到“精神病院”这个词。这让我很紧张，所以我结婚了。
And when my husband slipped that golden wedding ring on my finger, it was the first time I'd ever strayed off of that spiritual path that Jesus had set out for me so specifically years before.
当我的丈夫把那枚金色结婚戒指戴在我的手指上时，这是我第一次偏离了耶稣多年前为我特别指定的灵性道路。
It was back in high school.
那是在高中的时候。
One sunny night I was out jumping bar ditches in my parents' car when it overheated and stalled and left me stranded out there on the Idalou highway.
一个阳光明媚的夜晚，我开着父母的车出去跳酒吧沟渠，突然车子过热熄火，我被困在了伊达卢高速公路上。
I didn't know what I was going to do until this darling boy named Joey came along in his shiny truck, and he fixed my car on the spot.
我不知道我要做什么，直到这个名叫乔伊的可爱男孩开着他闪亮的卡车出现，他当场修好了我的车。
And then he witnessed to me about Jesus.
然后他向我见证了耶稣。
It was his Highway Witness for Jesus Program.
这是他的耶稣公路见证计划。
And he was so darling that I just went to church with him that night.
他是如此可爱，那天晚上我就和他一起去了教堂。
I liked sitting next to him so much, and before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed his hand.
我非常喜欢坐在他旁边，在我意识到自己在做什么之前，我抓住了他的手。
He jerked and turned pale, but he did not get up and move.
他猛地一抖，脸色苍白，但没有站起来动弹。
His heart was beating just like a hammer in the palm of his hand, and it was pounding home the sermon about the burning bush and the tongues of flame like never before.
他的心像手掌上的锤子一样跳动，以前所未有的方式敲击着关于燃烧的灌木丛和火舌的布道。
And I knew I had to keep that beat forever and ever.
我知道我必须永远保持这种节奏。
And then we watched the preacher baptize Naomi [?
然后我们看到牧师为内奥米施洗[？
Stutler.
斯图特勒。
?] And maybe it was the way her back arched when he pulled her up out of the water, or maybe it was the way that white robe clung to her body that inspired me to the point that I knew Jesus in my heart for the very first time, because he said something right in my ear.
？]也许是他把她从水里拉上来时她弓起的背，或者是那件白袍紧贴在她身上的方式启发了我，让我第一次在心里认识了耶稣，因为他在我耳边说了一些正确的话。
He said, "Don't you ever even worry about keeping that beat.
他说：“你根本不用担心保持节奏。
You just let that beat keep you." I pretty much knew what was going to happen with the boys if I let that beat keep me, and I wasn't all that surprised that Jesus wanted me to go all the way.
你只要让那个节拍留住你就可以了。”我几乎知道如果我让这种节奏保留我，孩子们会发生什么，而且我对耶稣希望我一路走下去并不感到惊讶。
Because, after all, he did.
因为，毕竟他做到了。
I took my first step on my new spiritual path that evening after church when I suggested to Joey that we park at a prairie dog camp and discuss Jesus a little further.
那天晚上教堂结束后，当我向乔伊建议我们把车停在草原土拨鼠营地并进一步讨论耶稣时，我在新的精神道路上迈出了第一步。
Later on, Joey was real disappointed in himself for what happened out there, but I wasn't.
后来，乔伊对外面发生的事情感到非常失望，但我却没有。
My new spiritual path was just like walking on cloud nine.
我的新精神之路就像走在云九上一样。
I didn't hear from Joey for quite a while, but I didn't think anything about it.
我已经有一段时间没有收到乔伊的消息了，但我也没有多想。
Because I had asked my question, what are these boys for, and what am I supposed to do with them in the plural.
因为我问了我的问题，这些男孩是做什么用的，以及我应该用复数形式对他们做什么。
And it had been answered in the plural.
并且已经以复数形式回答了。
And so I was real busy.
所以我真的很忙。
But one evening Joey threw pebbles at my window, and I sneaked out behind the playhouse to meet him.
但有一天晚上，乔伊向我的窗户扔了鹅卵石，我就偷偷溜到剧场后面去见他。
And I found out why I had not heard from him was he had been saving up to buy me something very special.
我发现为什么我没有收到他的消息，因为他一直在攒钱给我买一些非常特别的东西。
But unfortunately, the day he got it out of layaway was the very--
但不幸的是，他从分期付款中取出它的那一天正是——
Jo Carol, I heard you drove through the [?
乔·卡罗尔，我听说你开车穿过[？
Hidey-Ho ?] take-out window naked today after school.
Hidey-Ho ？] 今天放学后在外卖橱窗里裸体。
Oh god, I am so relieved.
天哪，我松了口气。
I was afraid I had made that whole thing up in my head and was turning out to be crazy like Mama.
我担心这整件事都是我在脑子里编造出来的，结果我也像妈妈一样疯了。
Because, see, what happened was I drove up, Buddy [?
因为，看，我开车过去发生了什么事，巴迪[？
Grays ?] gives me my change and my chili dog.
格雷斯？]给了我零钱和我的辣椒狗。
And I just sit there waiting for something to happen.
我只是坐在那里等待事情发生。
And finally I say, "Buddy." He says, "What?" He says, "Hi." He says, "Hi." And I drove off feeling like I wasn't even in this world.
最后我说：“伙计。”他说：“什么？”他说：“嗨。”他说：“嗨。”我开车离开时感觉自己根本就不在这个世界上。
I am so relieved somebody besides me thinks that happened.
除了我之外还有人认为这件事发生了，我感到很欣慰。
Well, if you're bored, there's plenty of constructive things you could do.
好吧，如果你感到无聊，你可以做很多有建设性的事情。
You could raise a sheep or some chickens for the FFA.
您可以为 FFA 饲养一只羊或一些鸡。
Or join the UFO Watch or go with me on the Highway Witness Program.
或者加入 UFO Watch 或跟我一起参加高速公路见证计划。
Now, wait, Joey.
现在，等等，乔伊。
What did I ever do to you?
我对你做了什么？
You went out with Gary [?
你和加里出去了[?
Cooney ?] tonight.
库尼？]今晚。
Yeah?
是的？
Joey After he took Martha Lynn [?
乔伊在带走玛莎·林恩之后[？
Searsey ?] home?
西尔西？] 回家？
Yeah?
是的？
Joey You ruined my life in my senior year.
乔伊，你毁了我高三的生活。
Oh, Joey, I am just sick I ruined your senior year.
哦，乔伊，我只是生病了，我毁了你的高年级。
But how did I do it exactly?
但我到底是怎么做到的呢？
I worked all my spare time to buy you this ring.
我用我所有的空闲时间给你买了这枚戒指。
Oh, Joey, that is so pretty.
哦，乔伊，那太漂亮了。
Bless your heart, it really is.
祝福你的心，确实如此。
It was my college education.
这是我的大学教育。
Jo Carol Pierce Look how it sparkles almost like a genuine diamond.
乔·卡罗尔·皮尔斯 瞧，它闪闪发光，几乎像一颗真正的钻石。
If I wore this, people might think it was really real.
如果我穿这个，人们可能会认为这是真的。
And that's when he took it from me.
就在那时，他从我手中夺走了它。
And he pulled it across the glass of the playhouse window, leaving a very deep scratch there.
他把它拉过剧场窗户的玻璃，在那里留下了很深的划痕。
[SINGING] This diamond is really real, Joey.
[唱歌] 这颗钻石真的是真的，乔伊。
[SINGING] Do you think I'd buy you a rhinestone?
[唱歌] 你认为我会给你买一块莱茵石吗？
[SINGING] Oh, Joey, how did it come to this?
[唱歌]哦，乔伊，怎么会变成这样？
I'm so depressed.
我好郁闷啊
Well, Jo Carol, why do you think they even call it premarital sex?
好吧，乔·卡罗尔，你认为他们为什么称之为婚前性行为？
What are you going to call it if you don't get married afterwards?
如果以后不结婚你会叫什么？
Oh, you could call it a whole lot of things.
哦，你可以称之为很多东西。
Like if you're trying to be--
就像如果你想成为——
Oh, I don't want to hear.
哦，我不想听。
[SINGING] I should have gone the way I came, like a flicker in her flame.
[歌唱] 我应该按来时的路走，就像她火焰中的闪烁。
Left her there remembering how my diamond scratched her window pane.
让她留在那里回忆我的钻石是如何划伤她的窗玻璃的。
Should have gone the way I came, in the darkness, in the rain.
应该沿着我来时的路走，在黑暗中，在雨中。
In the morning all that would remain is my scratch upon her window pane.
到了早上，只剩下我在她窗玻璃上的抓痕。
[SINGING] I'm so flattered, I can't tell you.
[唱歌] 我很受宠若惊，我无法告诉你。
But Jesus has another plan for me.
但耶稣对我有另一个计划。
And, Joey, it'll be better for you, too.
而且，乔伊，这对你也有好处。
Some day you're gonna thank me for all the girls you would have missed and never kissed if I said yes.
有一天，你会感谢我，因为如果我答应了，你会错过所有那些你可能永远不会亲吻的女孩。
Jo Carol, you're only worried about all the boys you want to kiss and mess around with.
乔·卡罗尔，你只担心所有你想亲吻和玩耍的男孩。
Well, that too, yes.
嗯，那也是，是的。
Joey [SINGING] I should have gone the way I came, like a flicker in her flame, and left her there remembering how my diamond scratched her window pane.
乔伊（唱歌）我应该像她火焰中的闪烁一样走我来的路，然后让她留在那里，记住我的钻石是如何划伤她的窗玻璃的。
Should have gone the way I came, in the darkness in the rain, in the morning all that would remain is my scratch upon her window pane.
应该按来时的路走，在雨中的黑暗中，在早晨，留下的只是我在她窗玻璃上的划痕。
[SINGING] So it really has to be goodbye?
[唱歌] 所以真的要告别了吗？
[SINGING] I don't know what else I could do.
[唱歌]我不知道我还能做什么。
[SINGING] One more time to remember me by?
[唱歌] 还有一次记住我吗？
Don't worry.
不用担心。
[SINGING] I'll remember you.
[唱歌]我会记住你的。
[SINGING] One more time so I'll remember, too.
[唱歌]再来一次，这样我也会记住。
No. I don't want to.
不，我不想。
Jo Carol Pierce Joey, do you take me for a fool?
乔·卡罗尔·皮尔斯·乔伊，你把我当傻子吗？
I know you do.
我知道你会的。
[SINGING] I should have gone the way I came, like a flicker in her flame, and left her there remembering how my diamond scratched her window pane.
[唱歌] 我应该像她火焰中的闪烁一样，按原路走，然后让她留在那里，记住我的钻石是如何划伤她的窗玻璃的。
Should've gone the way I came, in the darkness, in the rain.
应该沿着我来时的路走，在黑暗中，在雨中。
In the morning all that would remain is my scratch upon her window pane.
到了早上，只剩下我在她窗玻璃上的抓痕。
Jo Carol, if you keep on like this, who will every marry you?
乔·卡罗尔，如果你再这样下去，谁会嫁给你呢？
Act Two, Suburban Girl.
第二幕，郊区女孩。
Well, you're listening to This American Life, where each week we take a theme and invite a variety of writers and performers and artists of various sorts to tackle the theme.
好吧，你正在听《This American Life》，每周我们都会选择一个主题，并邀请各种各样的作家、表演者和艺术家来解决这个主题。
This week our theme is teenage girls.
本周我们的主题是少女。
And our next story is by Rennie Sparks, a Chicago writer and musician.
我们的下一个故事是由芝加哥作家兼音乐家雷尼·斯帕克斯讲述的。
Her band, The Handsome Family, does the musical scoring under the story.
她的乐队 The Handsome Family 为故事配乐。
This story is about a girl who is struggling in a situation where some rules-- there was a friendship, how you act with your best friend-- those rules are strict and completely binding.
这个故事讲述的是一个女孩在某种规则中挣扎的故事——有一段友谊，你如何与最好的朋友相处——这些规则是严格且完全具有约束力的。
But all the other rules in the girl's life are totally in the air.
但女孩生活中的所有其他规则都完全悬而未决。
And in the world she's in, she actually never worries about whether she's being good.
而在她所处的世界里，她实际上从不担心自己是否表现出色。
Instead, she has other worries.
相反，她还有其他的担忧。
Dawn and me eat scrambled eggs with tall glasses of tomato juice for dinner because we're on a diet.
道恩和我晚餐吃炒鸡蛋和大杯番茄汁，因为我们正在节食。
Dawn knows how to throw up, so she eats toast and butter, too.
道恩知道如何呕吐，所以她也吃吐司和黄油。
But my fingers go so far down my throat, and still nothing comes up.
但我的手指伸进喉咙那么远，还是什么也没有出现。
I'm a fat cow.
我是一头肥牛。
Dawn and me are best friends.
黎明和我是最好的朋友。
I sleep over at her house now ever since my stepfather called me a pig for eating all his cocktail onions.
自从我的继父因为我吃了他所有的鸡尾酒洋葱而骂我是猪之后，我就在她家过夜。
I'm waiting for my mom to call and beg me to come back home, but it's been almost two weeks now.
我在等妈妈打电话求我回家，但现在已经快两周了。
I'm wondering if maybe their phone is broken.
我想知道他们的手机是否坏了。
Sometimes my mom spaces on time.
有时我妈妈准时。
She drinks a lot of green Hi-C with vodka in it.
她喝了很多加了伏特加的绿色 Hi-C。
I've seen her sit down with a drink in the morning just as Oprah is coming on, and then it's like next thing she knows, Hard Copy is coming on and my stepdad is walking in the door, screaming because he can't smell any dinner.
我见过她早上坐下来喝一杯，就在奥普拉上台的时候，然后她知道的下一件事，《硬拷贝》即将播出，我的继父走进门，尖叫着，因为他闻不到任何晚餐的味道。
But I'm over at Dawn's house now.
但我现在已经到了黎明家了。
We share a single bed with the quilted pink covers.
我们共用一张单人床，床上铺着粉红色的绗缝床罩。
We stay up late smoking cigarettes, talking about love with the ashtray balanced between us on the sheets.
我们熬夜抽烟，把烟灰缸平衡在床单上谈论爱情。
Dawn loves guys who give long, wet kisses that make her eyes roll up in her head.
多恩喜欢那些给予长长的湿吻的男人，这让她的眼睛在头上翻起。
I love bites that last like red splashes on my neck for weeks, so that everyone knows I've been going at it.
我喜欢像脖子上的红色斑点一样持续数周的叮咬，这样每个人都知道我一直在努力。
Dawn and me both agree, though-- mostly, we just want to fall in love.
不过，多恩和我都同意——大多数情况下，我们只是想坠入爱河。
Tonight we're going to the mall to fall in love.
今晚我们要去商场谈恋爱。
Dawn's mom is divorced, and Dawn gets to call her Lorraine instead of Mom.
道恩的妈妈离婚了，道恩开始称呼她洛林而不是妈妈。
We smoke Lorraine's Marlboro Lights at the kitchen table with a green ashtray.
我们在厨房的桌子上用绿色烟灰缸抽洛林万宝路淡味香烟。
Lorraine is in the shower with her loofah pad and her pineapple-smelling shampoo, getting ready to go out with an optometrist she met at work.
洛林正在洗澡，拿着丝瓜络垫和菠萝味的洗发水，准备和她在工作中遇到的验光师出去。
Lorraine works behind the counter at the U-Haul center on Motor Parkway, and she gets to wear this tight, orange dress that says U-Haul on it.
洛林 (Lorraine) 在 Motor Parkway 的 U-Haul 中心柜台后面工作，她可以穿上这件上面印有 U-Haul 字样的橙色紧身连衣裙。
She meets a lot of men because of that dress, not to mention that any guy who gets divorced ends up at U-Haul sooner or later with a sad look on his face.
她因为那件衣服认识了很多男人，更不用说任何一个离婚的男人迟早都会带着悲伤的表情来到U-Haul。
Lorraine comes out of the shower and models new underwear for us.
洛林洗完澡出来，为我们做新内衣模特。
Her hair is slicked back, wet and shiny.
她的头发光滑地向后梳着，湿漉漉的，有光泽。
The underwear is red lace, with a fishnet heart cut out in the center, so you can see Lorraine's hair down there.
内衣是红色蕾丝的，中间有一个鱼网心，所以你可以看到洛林下面的头发。
And it's sort of dirty blond, even though Lorraine's hair on top is jet black.
尽管洛林头顶的头发是乌黑的，但它的金发有点肮脏。
There's a long, purple scar up Lorraine's stomach from where they pulled Dawn out, but Lorraine's stomach is flat and tight like a boy's.
洛林的肚子上有一条长长的紫色伤疤，就是他们把道恩拉出来的地方，但洛林的肚子又平又紧，就像男孩的肚子一样。
She must know how to throw up, too.
她一定也知道如何呕吐。
"Ta-da," Lorraine says.
“哒哒，”洛林说。
"You look fox, Lorraine," Dawn says.
“洛林，你看起来像狐狸，”道恩说。
"Yeah," I say.
“是的，”我说。
"No doubt."
“无疑。”
The optometrist pulls up in a Chrysler, a dark blue car with brown interior.
验光师开着一辆克莱斯勒汽车停了下来，这是一辆深蓝色、棕色内饰的汽车。
I'm thinking, loser, but Lorraine runs out of the kitchen, shoving her earrings in, smoothing down a red satin dress she bought at Shoes and Things for $20.
我在想，失败者，但洛林跑出了厨房，把耳环塞进去，抚平她在 Shoes and Things 花 20 美元买的一条红色缎子连衣裙。
She's blushing and pursing her lips to smooth her lip stick down and breathing fast as she let's the optometrist inside.
当她让验光师进来时，她脸红了，撅起嘴唇抹平了唇棒，呼吸急促。
He looks bewildered, unprepared to be stepping into a woman's house.
他看起来很困惑，对走进一个女人的房子毫无准备。
"Dawn," Lorraine says in her giggle voice that is saved for men only, "I'll be home late, or not at all." Dawn rolls her eyes.
“天亮了，”洛林用她那只适合男人的咯咯的声音说道，“我会很晚才回家，或者根本不回家。”黎明翻了个白眼。
"Watch it now, young lady," "OK," Dawn mumbles.
“现在看吧，年轻的女士，”“好吧，”Dawn 咕哝道。
"I'll feed the fish."
“我去喂鱼。”
"OK, Lorraine," the optometrist says nervously." "Seafood OK?" Lorraine just giggles and takes his arm.
“好吧，洛林，”验光师紧张地说。““海鲜可以吗？”洛林只是咯咯地笑着，握住了他的手臂。
They head out to the car and drive away, and I want to cry, thinking of that skanking old guy with his hands all over Lorraine's perfect, tight body.
他们走向汽车并开走了，我想哭，想到那个肮脏的老家伙，双手抚摸着洛林完美、紧致的身体。
But then I remember Dawn and me are on our own now.
但后来我想起道恩和我现在只能靠我们自己了。
We sit down at the kitchen table and light cigarettes and drink half a glass each of Lorraine's pink Zinfandel wine, because more than that she notices.
我们坐在厨房的桌子旁，点燃香烟，每人喝半杯洛林的粉红仙粉黛葡萄酒，因为她注意到的不仅仅是这些。
"Man," Dawn says, "I can't wait to get a place of my own.
“伙计，”道恩说，“我迫不及待地想找到一个属于自己的地方。
All I'm going to have in the fridge in pink Zinfandel and powdered doughnuts and 7-Up.
我冰箱里的所有东西都是粉红仙粉黛、甜甜圈粉和 7-Up 的。
Dawn loves powdered doughnuts because they're the easiest thing in the world to throw up.
道恩喜欢吃甜甜圈粉，因为它们是世界上最容易呕吐的东西。
Tonight we're off to the mall to hunt for babes.
今晚我们要去商场寻找美女。
Dawn says if she falls in love at the mall, she'll go out to the pit.
道恩说如果她在商场谈恋爱，她就会去坑里。
"And leave me hanging by the fountain," I scream.
“然后让我挂在喷泉边，”我尖叫道。
"No," she says, plugging in her crimping iron.
“不，”她一边说，一边插上压接钳。
"There'll be a babe for you, too.
“你也会有一个宝贝。
We'll find two babes and fall in love and make them take us to the pit."
我们会找到两个宝贝并坠入爱河，然后让她们带我们去坑里。”
Dawn's going to be a stewardess when she graduates high school, or work at the U-Haul with Lorraine.
高中毕业后，道恩将成为一名空姐，或者与洛林一起在 U-Haul 工作。
I'm going to Wilfred Beauty Academy to learn acrylic nails.
我要去威尔弗雷德美容学院学习丙烯酸指甲。
When I get out of Wilfred, no one will call me a fat cow.
当我离开威尔弗雷德之后，就没有人会说我是肥牛了。
They'll call me a nail stylist.
他们会称我为美甲师。
I have a new makeup stick in dark coral pink.
我有一支新的深珊瑚粉色化妆棒。
I put it on above my eyes like I saw in Beauty Digest.
我把它放在眼睛上方，就像我在《美容文摘》中看到的那样。
Dawn puts it on her cheeks and outlines her lips in burnt sienna.
多恩把它涂在脸颊上，并用烧焦的赭石色勾勒出她的嘴唇。
She rubs a stick of musk behind her ears and under her arms, filling the room with the smell of a jungle.
她在耳后和腋下擦了一根麝香，让房间里充满了丛林的气味。
We lie flat on the bed next to each other to zip our jeans.
我们并肩平躺在床上，拉上牛仔裤的拉链。
When I stand up, there's a role of fat over the waistband, so I borrow a loose sweater from Dawn, something with draw strings at the bottom.
当我站起来时，腰带上有脂肪的作用，所以我向Dawn借了一件宽松的毛衣，底部有拉绳的东西。
Dawn is straight and thin and wears padded bras that make tiny puff breasts under her shirts.
道恩身材又直又瘦，穿着带衬垫的胸罩，衬衣下的乳房显得很小。
I wish I could throw up like her.
我希望我能像她一样呕吐。
We each swallow four of Lorraine's Dexatrims and two of her No-Dozs and then fluff our hair out so we look like wild animals.
我们每人吞下四颗洛林的Dexatrims和两颗No-Dozs，然后把我们的头发弄松，让我们看起来像野生动物。
We only take one each of Lorraine's Valiums, because those she counts.
我们每人只服用一粒洛林的安定药，因为她很重视这些。
The cab lets us off at Sears.
出租车让我们在西尔斯下车。
We go in through the luggage department and straight into the bathroom.
我们通过行李部进去，直接进了浴室。
Dawn doesn't like the way her hair turned out, so she wets it in the sink and kneels under the hand dryer, on knee on the tile floor to do it over.
道恩不喜欢她的头发现在的样子，所以她在水槽里弄湿了头发，然后跪在干手器下，跪在瓷砖地板上重新梳理一遍。
I look at myself in the mirror.
我看着镜子里的自己。
My hair and nails are perfect.
我的头发和指甲都很完美。
I know how to copy the looks.
我知道如何复制外观。
But my cheeks are full and red, not hollow and sharp like Dawn's.
但我的脸颊又饱满又红，不像多恩的脸颊凹陷又尖锐。
Tomorrow I'll eat nothing but tuna fish and water.
明天我只吃金枪鱼和水。
We walk out to the benches around the fountain and spot Carol and Gail.
我们走到喷泉周围的长凳上，发现了卡罗尔和盖尔。
Even from two stores down, I can see Carol's lost weight, and I'm instantly jealous.
即使隔着两家商店，我也能看到卡罗尔的体重减轻了，我立刻就嫉妒了。
She was always a pudge like me.
她一直都是像我一样的哈巴狗。
Then she had to go to the clinic for an abortion, and she threw up for two days after the anesthetic.
然后她不得不去诊所堕胎，麻醉后她吐了两天。
It makes me wonder why no one sells anesthetic to fat people for a diet.
这让我想知道为什么没有人向肥胖者出售麻醉剂来减肥。
I guess it's against the law, but still it isn't fair.
我想这是违法的，但仍然不公平。
Two weeks before Carol went to the clinic, she said, "Janine, walk with me to the deli." So I walked with her to the deli and got a ham sandwich with only a little mayo and even pulled the crusts off and threw them away.
卡罗尔去诊所前两周，她说：“珍妮，跟我一起去熟食店吧。”于是我和她一起走到熟食店，买了一个火腿三明治，只加了一点蛋黄酱，甚至把面包皮撕下来扔掉了。
Carol got change for the phone.
卡罗尔找了零钱换手机。
She called the clinic and said she got raped and wanted the morning after pill.
她打电话给诊所，说她被强奸了，想要服用事后避孕药。
This wasn't true.
这不是真的。
Carol told me about the moment down in the pit when Scott Malone had finally got off her, and she had to squat and search for a full minute before she found the rubber.
卡罗尔告诉我，当斯科特·马龙终于从她身上下来时，在坑里的那一刻，她不得不蹲下寻找整整一分钟才找到橡胶。
It didn't matter, anyway, because the clinic said she had to tell the police first if she got raped.
无论如何，这并不重要，因为诊所规定，如果她被强奸，她必须先告诉警察。
So Carol hung up and fell against gallon jars of pickled cauliflower, crying her eyes out.
于是卡罗尔挂断了电话，倒在一加仑的腌花椰菜罐上，哭得眼睛都肿了。
But when I tried to put my arm around her, she said, "You smell like ham, Janine," and pushed me away.
但当我试图用手臂搂住她时，她说：“珍妮，你闻起来像火腿。”然后把我推开了。
I don't care.
我不在乎。
Dawn is my best friend, anyway.
无论如何，黎明是我最好的朋友。
Dawn and me and Carol and Gail are sitting in front of the fountain waiting for babes.
黎明、我、卡罗尔和盖尔坐在喷泉前等待宝贝们。
Gail is beautiful and goes out with Joey Cosmo, who has a roll bar in his truck and wild blond hair like a rock star.
盖尔很漂亮，和乔伊·科斯莫 (Joey Cosmo) 约会，乔伊·科斯莫 (Joey Cosmo) 的卡车上装有防滚架，金发像摇滚明星一样狂野。
But he's at some truck show in Garden City tonight, so Gail is a free agent.
但他今晚要去花园城参加一些卡车展，所以盖尔是自由球员。
I never told anyone, but I have a secret about Joey Cosmo.
我从未告诉过任何人，但我有一个关于乔伊·科斯莫的秘密。
Once I walked by Sheer Impact, and I saw Joey sitting under a dryer with perm rods in his hair.
有一次我走过 Sheer Impact，我看到乔伊坐在吹风机下，头发上插着烫发棒。
It made we want him even more, seeing him with the plastic sheet over him, the white towel around his neck, and blue and yellow perm rods covering his head like a helmet.
看到他身上盖着塑料布，脖子上围着白毛巾，头上戴着像头盔一样的蓝色和黄色烫发棒，这让我们更加想要他。
Any guy who thinks he ought to try and look good, even if he's a babe already, has got to be sort of sweet.
任何认为自己应该努力让自己看起来不错的人，即使他已经是个婴儿了，也必须是有点可爱的。
I wouldn't cheat on him just because he went to a truck show without me, but I'm not beautiful like Gail, and the rules are different.
我不会因为他没有带我去参加卡车展就欺骗他，但我不像盖尔那么漂亮，而且规则也不同。
Tonight Gail has done her eyes in blue liner.
今晚盖尔画了蓝色眼线。
Her hair is soft blond that curls at her shoulder, and she's long and thin in pink cords and a black sweater that shows a beige bra under her arm when she lifts a hand to flip her hair back.
她的头发是柔软的金色，卷曲在肩上，她又长又细，粉色的发绳和黑色的毛衣，当她抬起手把头发向后翻时，腋下露出米色的胸罩。
It's hard to believe we're both girls.
很难相信我们都是女孩。
I've never come close to looking anything like her.
我从来没有长得像她。
"What's up?" She says, throwing her cigarette into the fountain.
“这是怎么回事？”她一边说，一边把香烟扔进喷泉里。
There's a hiss as flame hits water.
火焰碰到水时发出嘶嘶声。
"Nothing," Dawn says.
“没什么，”多恩说。
"How you feeling?" I ask Carol.
“你感觉怎么样？”我问卡罗尔。
She gives me a look.
她看了我一眼。
"I'm staying at Gail's." "Janine's staying at my house," Dawn says.
“我住在盖尔家。” “珍妮住在我家，”道恩说。
"How come?" Gail asks, suddenly interested, thinking something's up like I'm pregnant or something.
“怎么会？”盖尔突然感兴趣了，问道，她以为发生了什么事，比如我怀孕了之类的。
"My stepfather's a skank," I say quickly, feeling a moment's pride being the center of attention.
“我的继父是个卑鄙小人。”我很快说道，感觉自己瞬间成为了众人关注的焦点。
"They're all skanks," Gail says.
“他们都是贱人，”盖尔说。
"My stepfather stole 10 bucks from my purse last week." Dawn's elbow sinks into my side.
“上周我继父从我的钱包里偷了 10 美元。”黎明的手肘陷入了我的身边。
"Babes," she whispers.
“宝贝们，”她低声说道。
And there they are.
他们就在那里。
Janine and Dawn make their move for the babes in a minute when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，珍妮和道恩立即为宝贝们采取行动。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
Rennie Sparks's story "Skanks" continues.
雷尼·斯帕克斯的故事“臭鼬”仍在继续。
A little reminder that some scenes and language in this story might not be suitable for younger listeners.
提醒一下，这个故事中的某些场景和语言可能不适合年轻的听众。
Dawn, Janine, and their friends, if you recall, are sitting on the bench by the fountain in the mall.
如果你还记得的话，道恩、珍妮和他们的朋友正坐在商场喷泉边的长凳上。
Three guys turning the corner from Monkey Ward's.
三个家伙从 Monkey Ward 的拐角处拐过。
We lean back with our toes stretched out in high heels.
我们向后靠，穿着高跟鞋伸展脚趾。
I can feel the water spray against my back, but I don't move.
我能感觉到水喷在我的背上，但我一动不动。
The waist of my jeans is like an iron band.
我牛仔裤的腰部就像一条铁带。
I can hardly breathe.
我几乎无法呼吸。
Dawn stands.
黎明站立。
"Janine, let's go." "We just sat down," I say.
“珍妮，我们走吧。” “我们刚刚坐下来，”我说。
"Look at that babe in the red leather," Dawn says.
“看看那个穿着红色皮革的宝贝，”道恩说。
"He's checking me out." "Can't we just sit here a while?" I say.
“他在打探我。” “我们就不能在这里坐一会儿吗？”我说。
"Janine, do you want to be a fat cow all your life?" Dawn says.
“珍妮，你想当一辈子的肥牛吗？”黎明说。
"The blond one isn't bad.
“金发女郎也不错。
He's got long hair.
他有长头发。
Let's go."
我们走吧。”
We go after the babes.
我们去追那些辣妹。
They strut around the corner of Camera Hut with long, pink combs sticking out of their back pockets.
他们在相机小屋的拐角处大摇大摆地走着，背后的口袋里插着粉色的长梳子。
Dawn's right.
黎明是对的。
I have to do something with my life.
我必须用我的生命做点什么。
We follow them down the north corridor of the mall.
我们跟着他们沿着商场的北走廊走下去。
I watch the babe in the red leather.
我看着那个穿着红色皮革的宝贝。
His thin hips jut back and forth in tight black denims.
他瘦弱的臀部穿着紧身黑色牛仔裤来回突出。
I feel myself slow and heavy at Dawn's side.
在黎明身边，我感到自己缓慢而沉重。
They go into Orange Julius, and Dawn clicks fast on high heels behind them.
他们进入了橙色朱利叶斯，黎明在他们身后快速踩着高跟鞋。
The two bomber jackets buy chili dogs, but the red leather buys fries.
两件飞行员夹克买辣椒热狗，但红色皮革买薯条。
He turns as he squirts ketchup, and he has these unbelievable sea-green eyes.
他一边喷番茄酱一边转过身来，他有一双令人难以置信的海绿色眼睛。
I feel a butterfly come alive in my stomach, and I could almost collapse with the feel of it coming over me.
我感觉到一只蝴蝶在我的肚子里活了过来，当它向我袭来的感觉时，我几乎要崩溃了。
But I force myself to look at the blond one, like Dawn wants, even though he's ugly.
但我强迫自己看那个金发女郎，就像黎明想要的那样，尽管他很丑。
"What's up?" The babe asks, staring down at the floor.
“这是怎么回事？”宝贝低头看着地板问道。
He smiles, and I see his teeth are white and clean like a commercial.
他笑了，我看到他的牙齿又白又干净，就像广告里的一样。
He has dyed black hair with brown roots.
他把头发染成了黑色，发根是棕色的。
"Nothing," Dawn says, moving in.
“没什么，”多恩说着走了进去。
I try and give the blond one a look, but he's worse close up.
我试着看一下金发女郎，但近距离看他的情况更糟。
His hair is long but hangs flat against the sides of his face, and his body is round and square like Barney Rubble.
他的头发很长，但平垂在脸的两侧，他的身体像巴尼·瓦砾一样又圆又方。
I feel myself rolling loose, bursting against my jeans, and I can see from his face that I'm just as unappealing to him.
我感觉自己在翻滚，在牛仔裤上爆裂，从他的脸上我可以看出我对他同样没有吸引力。
I manage a weak smile.
我勉强挤出一丝虚弱的微笑。
They slide into a booth with their food, throwing fries at each other across the table.
他们带着食物溜进一个摊位，隔着桌子互相扔薯条。
We order cheese fries and sit across from them.
我们点了芝士薯条，坐在他们对面。
We suck cheese off the fries and then put them back on the plate, waiting.
我们从薯条上吸干奶酪，然后将它们放回盘子上，等待。
I suck only five fries.
我只吸了五份薯条。
Dawn sucks down practically the whole plate.
黎明几乎吸走了整个盘子。
She can.
她可以。
She's already thrown up twice since breakfast.
早餐后她已经吐了两次了。
Finally the babe finishes his food and looks across the table at Dawn.
最后，宝贝吃完了他的食物，看着桌子对面的黎明。
"Hey," the babe says.
“嘿，”宝贝说。
"Hey," Dawn says.
“嘿，”多恩说。
"What's up?" he says.
“这是怎么回事？”他说。
"Nothing," she says.
“没什么，”她说。
"You want to hang out?" "Sure," she says.
“你想出去玩吗？” “当然，”她说。
"I'm Dawn.
“我是黎明。
This is Janine." "Hey," he says, looking my way for the briefest moment.
这是珍妮。” “嘿，”他说，短暂地朝我这边看了一眼。
He's a definite babe.
他绝对是个宝贝。
Tall and thin with hollow cheeks and a square chin.
又高又瘦，脸颊凹陷，下巴方正。
"Listen," Dawn says, leaning in towards the babe.
“听着，”多恩说着，向婴儿倾身过来。
She gives a look-- perfect, all eyes and lips.
她给人一种完美的感觉，眼睛和嘴唇都很完美。
"Janine was checking out your friend," she whispers.
“珍妮正在检查你的朋友，”她低声说道。
"The blond guy.
“那个金发家伙。
She's in love with him or something." "That's Stevie," the babe says.
她爱上了他或者别的什么。” “那是史蒂维，”宝贝说。
"He's cool."
“他很酷。”
The babe stands, pressing his hips into the edge of the table.
宝贝站起来，把臀部压在桌子边缘。
Dawn's fingers stroke the tabletop.
黎明的手指抚摸着桌面。
Her nails, hard pink shells, click against the tabletop.
她的指甲，坚硬的粉色贝壳，敲击着桌面。
"Cool," she whispers.
“酷，”她低声说道。
She stands, brushing against the babe as she pulls out of the booth.
她站起来，从隔间里出来时，擦着婴儿的身子。
There's the sizzle of fabric against fabric.
布料与布料之间发出嘶嘶声。
"We'll meet you by Macy's," she says, and struts fast out of Orange Julius, heading back towards the Sears bathroom.
“我们会在梅西百货等你。”她说着，快步走出橙色朱利叶斯店，朝西尔斯的浴室走去。
I follow, running to keep up.
我跟着，跑着跟上。
In the bathroom I open my eyes as wide as possible, feeling tears building up at the edge of my mascara.
在浴室里，我尽可能地睁大眼睛，感觉到泪水在睫毛膏的边缘积聚。
"I can't believe you, Dawn." My voice is heavy and scratched.
“我不敢相信你，黎明。”我的声音沉重而沙哑。
"Telling that guy I was hot for his skank friend." "He's all right," Dawn says, putting on lip gloss with a fingertip.
“告诉那个家伙我对他的臭朋友很感兴趣。” “他没事，”多恩一边说，一边用指尖涂上唇彩。
"He has long hair.
“他有一头长发。
What's with you?" "I don't want to hang with him is all." I press my index fingers to the corner of my eyes.
你怎么了？” “我不想和他在一起，仅此而已。”我用食指按着眼角。
The tips of my fingers are black with mascara and tears.
我的指尖因睫毛膏和泪水而变黑。
There's a noise at the back of my throat that wants to come out, but I know Dawn will be mad if I let it.
我喉咙里有一种声音想要发出来，但我知道如果我放出来，黎明会生气的。
My stomach feels huge.
我感觉肚子很大。
The thought of that skanky Barney Rubble out there makes me want to puke, though he's no worse than some of the others I've had to put up with.
一想到外面那个肮脏的巴尼瓦砾就让我想吐，尽管他并不比我不得不忍受的其他人更糟糕。
It's no coincidence that every babe Dawn finds has a skanky-looking best friend along with him.
道恩发现的每个宝贝都有一个长相卑鄙的好朋友，这并非巧合。
That's what people see when they look at Dawn and me.
这就是人们在看到黎明和我时所看到的。
I've noticed how beautiful people like to have a skank friend to hang out with.
我注意到漂亮的人多么喜欢有一个卑鄙的朋友一起出去玩。
It makes them look even better.
这让他们看起来更好。
"Oh, man," Dawn says.
“哦，伙计，”多恩说。
"Are you my best friend, or what?" "You know I am." My voice cracks in half.
“你是我最好的朋友还是什么？” “你知道我是。”我的声音哽住了一半。
Carefully I wipe away the black tear running down my cheek with a twist of Kleenex.
我小心翼翼地用纸巾擦去从脸颊流下的黑色泪水。
"I just don't want to be with that guy," I tell her.
“我只是不想和那个家伙在一起，”我告诉她。
"He's a skank, and you know it."
“他是个卑鄙小人，你也知道这一点。”
A lady comes into the bathroom carrying a shopping bag.
一位女士提着购物袋走进浴室。
She goes into a stall.
她走进一个摊位。
Dawn turns the hand dryer on so we can talk privately.
黎明打开干手器，这样我们就可以私下交谈了。
"Look," Dawn whispers.
“看，”黎明低声说道。
"If you're my best friend, you'll do this for me.
“如果你是我最好的朋友，你就会为我做这件事。
Because I'll tell you one thing for sure-- only my best friend can sleep over at my house tonight." I stand there weeping.
因为我可以肯定地告诉你一件事——今晚只有我最好的朋友可以在我家过夜。”我站在那里哭泣。
It takes forever to get my breath.
我需要很长时间才能呼吸。
"Janine," Dawn says finally, tiring of my crap, "fix your face and let's go." I get out my compact and brush powder across my cheekbones, and then redo my mascara and eyeliner.
“珍妮，”道恩厌倦了我的废话，终于说道，“把你的脸收拾好，我们走吧。”我拿出粉饼，在颧骨上刷上散粉，然后重涂睫毛膏和眼线。
I work quickly, knowing Dawn will leave me behind if I don't hurry.
我工作得很快，因为我知道如果我不快点，黎明就会把我抛在后面。
A woman comes in with a little boy, chocolate ice cream smeared down his cheeks.
一个女人带着一个小男孩走了进来，他的脸颊上涂满了巧克力冰淇淋。
She lifts him up to the sink and wets a tissue to wipe his face.
她把他抱到水槽边，弄湿纸巾擦他的脸。
I want to go away with her.
我想和她一起走。
I want to be a child again.
我想再次成为一个孩子。
"Look," Dawn says, leaning into me, her voice softer now.
“听着，”多恩说，靠在我身上，她的声音现在更柔和了。
"You don't have to do anything.
“你不必做任何事。
I just don't want to be alone with the guy the first time.
我只是不想第一次和这个家伙单独相处。
We'll stick together, I promise.
我们会团结在一起，我保证。
And later when we get home, we'll eat some eggs or something.
稍后当我们回到家时，我们会吃一些鸡蛋或其他东西。
OK?"
好吗？”
I nod my head.
我点点头。
My face is glowing again in the mirror.
镜子里我的脸再次容光焕发。
I open my eyes wide, testing my mascara.
我睁大眼睛，测试我的睫毛膏。
A toilet flushes, and the woman with the shopping bag comes out, washes up, looks at herself in the mirror.
厕所冲水，提着购物袋的女人出来，洗漱完毕，看着镜子里的自己。
She slides her lips together, evening out her lipstick.
她抿起嘴唇，抹掉口红。
She's pretty for an old lady.
对于一个老太太来说，她很漂亮。
She must be at least 40.
她至少应该有 40 岁了。
It's depressing to think about all the years I'll have to worry about my makeup and my hair before I get old enough that no one cares.
想到在我老到没有人关心之前，我将不得不担心我的化妆和头发，这真是令人沮丧。
We leave the bathroom, head to Macy's, and there they are, waiting for us by the exit.
我们离开卫生间，前往梅西百货，他们就在出口处等我们。
The babe sees us and pulls a wig crooked on a mannequin to show off.
宝贝看到我们，就把一顶假发歪在人体模型上炫耀。
I smile.
我微笑。
My skin is tight with layers of powder, but underneath it I can feel my face swollen from crying.
我的皮肤被一层层的粉紧紧包裹着，但在粉底下我能感觉到我的脸因哭而肿胀。
"Hey, what's up?" The babe says.
“嘿，怎么了？”宝贝说道。
"This is my buddy.
“这是我的朋友。
Stevie.
史蒂维.
He's cool." "Hi," I say.
他很酷。” “嗨，”我说。
I bend my lips up into something like a smile.
我把嘴唇弯成一个微笑的样子。
Dawn is giggling with her hand over her mouth.
黎明用手捂着嘴咯咯地笑。
"What's up?" Stevie says.
“这是怎么回事？”史蒂维说。
His eyes are crooked and small.
他的眼睛又弯又小。
We head out to the parking lot.
我们出发前往停车场。
It's dark out.
外面天黑了。
Headlights reflect off cars as we walk out to the strip of grass that separates the highway from Macy's parking lot.
当我们走到分隔高速公路和梅西百货停车场的草地时，车头灯反射在汽车上。
Thick, green bushes are planted in a row that lead out to the entrance and exit signs that separate the lanes of traffic in and out of Macy's.
茂密的绿色灌木丛种植成一排，通向入口和出口标志，将进出梅西百货的车道分开。
Dawn and me lean against the enter sign.
黎明和我靠在输入标志上。
Stevie and the babe stand across from us.
史蒂维和宝贝站在我们对面。
The babe has a pint of Southern Comfort.
宝贝喝了一品脱南方舒适啤酒。
He passes it around.
他把它传递出去。
A wind is blowing, drying the sweat under my arms.
一阵风吹过，吹干了我腋下的汗水。
"So," the babe says, finally, "what's up?" "I'm cold," Dawn says.
“那么，”宝贝最后说道，“怎么了？” “我很冷，”黎明说。
"Here," he says.
“在这里，”他说。
He takes off his leather, wraps it around her, leaving his arm on her shoulder.
他脱下皮革，将她包裹起来，将手臂放在她的肩膀上。
Suddenly they're going at it.
突然他们就开始这么做了。
She falls against the enter sign with a bang, and I move away quickly as he presses into her with his hips and chest.
她砰地一声跌倒在输入标志上，当他用臀部和胸部压向她时，我迅速走开。
I look at Stevie and past him at the cars streaming by on the highway.
我看着史蒂夫，又越过他看着高速公路上川流不息的汽车。
He makes a noise in his throat and spits on the grass.
他喉咙里发出声音，并向草地上吐口水。
"What's up?" he says.
“这是怎么回事？”他说。
"Nothing," I say, looking down.
“没什么，”我低着头说道。
He put his arm around me.
他用手臂搂住我。
The babe has a hand up Dawn's shirt.
宝贝把手伸到了多恩的衬衫上。
I catch a corner of her bra under his cupped hand.
我在他的手下抓住了她胸罩的一角。
Stevie's hand curls around my shoulder slowly.
史蒂夫的手慢慢地搂住我的肩膀。
I can tell he thinks I won't notice.
我看得出来他认为我不会注意到。
The babe breaks away from Dawn a moment and says, "time to hit the pit?" Dawn looks at me.
宝贝从黎明身边挣脱了一会儿，说道：“是时候下坑了吗？”黎明看着我。
"Come on, Janine." I shake my head.
“来吧，珍妮。”我摇摇头。
She puckers her lips.
她撅起嘴唇。
We go behind the exit sign.
我们走到出口标志后面。
She's sweaty, her makeup rising like a film over her face.
她满头大汗，脸上的妆像一层薄膜一样升起。
"Janine you want a place to sleep tonight?" Her voice is thick, breathless.
“珍妮，你今晚想找个地方睡觉吗？”她的声音浑厚，气喘吁吁。
It's dark enough out that I just let my mascara run with a flood of tears.
外面太黑了，我只是让睫毛膏流下眼泪。
I know Dawn can see, but she just flips her hair and steps back away from me, talking loud so the guys can hear.
我知道多恩能看见，但她只是甩动头发，从我身边退开，大声说话，以便其他人能听到。
"You think you can do better?" she says.
“你认为你可以做得更好吗？”她说。
I look at her.
我看着她。
Even in the wind from the cars and the sweat on her face, she's still something I'll never be.
即使在汽车的风和她脸上的汗水中，她仍然是我永远不会成为的人。
From the tiny points of her shoulders to the long swoop of her legs, down to her ankles, like glass balanced on high heels.
从她肩膀的细小点到她修长的双腿，一直到她的脚踝，就像高跟鞋上的玻璃一样平衡。
I give in.
我屈服了。
We cross the highway and take the path down to the woods we call the pit.
我们穿过高速公路，沿着小路来到我们称之为坑的树林。
It's just dug up land from where they took the dirt to make the cement for the mall a million years ago.
它只是从一百万年前他们为购物中心制造水泥而取土的地方挖出来的。
Thin pine trees planted along the highway have grown tall to block out the streetlights, and below, sticker bushes divide the pit into narrow pathways and openings where people hang in the dark to fool around or do drugs or hide from the cops.
高速公路沿线种植的细松树已经长得很高，遮住了路灯，下面的贴纸灌木丛将坑分成狭窄的通道和开口，人们在黑暗中闲逛、吸毒或躲避警察。
Stevie has a hand on my ass.
史蒂夫把手放在我的屁股上。
He whispers in my ear, "You got at nice body, OK?" The babe and Dawn have disappeared into the woods.
他在我耳边低语：“你的身体很好，好吗？”宝贝和黎明已经消失在树林里了。
I call her name, but she won't answer.
我叫她的名字，但她不回答。
From up the hill I hear a truck shifting gears, a horn.
从山上我听到一辆卡车换档和喇叭声。
Some guy screams, "Dildo." Stevie says, "Shh, relax."
有人尖叫道：“假阳具。”史蒂夫说：“嘘，放松点。”
We walk further into the pit, passing the dark outlines of couples against trees or rolling slowly in the dirt.
我们进一步向坑中走去，经过树上情侣的黑色轮廓，或者在泥土中缓慢地滚动。
We find a clearing with an overturned shopping cart, and Stevie sits.
我们找到了一块空地，里面有一辆翻倒的购物车，史蒂夫坐下来。
I go to sit next to him, but he grabs my head tight over my ears so that everything sounds like an ocean.
我走到他旁边坐下，但他紧紧抓住我的头捂住耳朵，让一切听起来都像大海一样。
And behind the roar I hear him whispering, "I love you.
在咆哮声背后，我听到他低声说：“我爱你。
Yeah, I really love you, OK?" Pushing me down to my knees, pushing my face into his zipper.
是的，我真的很爱你，可以吗？”他把我推倒在地，把我的脸塞进他的拉链里。
And then there's the smell of him, gagging me through his jeans.
然后就是他的气味，透过他的牛仔裤让我窒息。
I've been in this position before, lots of times, because of Dawn and other girls who were once my best friend.
我以前曾多次处于这个位置，因为黎明和其他女孩曾经是我最好的朋友。
And lots of times when I thought maybe a guy might really like me.
很多时候我想也许一个男人可能真的喜欢我。
I know I'm supposed to go numb, just open my mouth and let it happen, and then wait for Dawn to call me to go home.
我知道我应该变得麻木，只要张开嘴，让它发生，然后等待黎明叫我回家。
But this time I can't seem to.
但这次我似乎不能了。
This time there's no pretending that I'm doing it for Dawn or for myself or for any reason at all.
这一次，我不再假装我这样做是为了黎明、为了我自己或出于任何原因。
Because this time I can see suddenly that Dawn is getting tired of me.
因为这一次我突然发现黎明已经厌倦了我。
Even if I play this right with Stevie, my days are numbered as her best friend.
即使我和史蒂维相处得很好，我作为她最好的朋友的日子也屈指可数了。
I open my eyes.
我睁开眼睛。
After a moment, the gold thread along the zipper of his jeans appears.
过了一会儿，牛仔裤拉链上的金线出现了。
Tears are running into my mouth.
眼泪流进我的嘴里。
My M up is shot.
我的M上被枪杀了。
I try.
我尝试一下。
I try so hard for Dawn, for my best friend.
为了黎明，为了我最好的朋友，我如此努力。
I try to keep my face pressed against his zipper, but I can't.
我试图将脸贴在他的拉链上，但我做不到。
And when his hand comes down and unbuttons his jeans, I pull away and stand up.
当他的手放下来解开牛仔裤的纽扣时，我抽身站了起来。
"You're a skank," I hear myself say.
“你是个混蛋，”我听到自己说。
"Hey," he says.
“嘿，”他说。
"Come on, help me out here.
“来吧，帮我离开这里。
You can't leave me like this.
你不能就这样离开我。
It's killing me, OK?"
这简直要了我的命，好吗？”
I call for Dawn, but she still won't answer, so I turn and start back up toward the road.
我呼唤黎明，但她仍然不回应，所以我转身开始走回大路。
"Hey," Stevie yells after me.
“嘿，”史蒂维在我身后喊道。
"You on the rag or something?" "I'm leaving, Dawn," I yell one last time.
“你在抹布上还是什么？” “我要走了，黎明。”我最后一次喊道。
I know if I walk back to the mall, I'll be doing something awful.
我知道如果我走回商场，我会做一些可怕的事情。
I know as soon as I step out of these woods, I won't have a best friend anymore.
我知道一旦我走出这片树林，我就不再有最好的朋友了。
"Oh, get lost, fat girl," Stevie yells from behind me.
“哦，滚开，胖女孩，”史蒂维在我身后喊道。
Then after a moment he adds, "It's your loss, OK?" I start to run.
过了一会儿，他补充道：“这是你的损失，好吗？”我开始奔跑。
I run up out of the woods and across the highway and through the lines of parked cars and into Macy's.
我跑出树林，穿过高速公路，穿过停放的汽车队列，进入梅西百货。
I run through lingerie and pantyhose and piles of scarves.
我翻阅内衣、连裤袜和成堆的围巾。
I run to the center of the mall where I stop, with a burning cramp squeezing my side, feeling my fat stomach covered in sweat under Dawn's borrowed sweater.
我跑到购物中心的中心，在那里停下来，一阵灼烧般的痉挛挤压着我的身体，感觉我肥硕的肚子被道恩借来的毛衣覆盖着汗水。
I stand there panting, my face aching with dried tears.
我站在那里气喘吁吁，脸上因干涸的泪水而疼痛。
No one seems to notice me.
似乎没有人注意到我。
The benches by the fountain are empty, and something tells me if I've lost Dawn, I've lost Gail and Carol, too.
喷泉边的长凳是空的，我感觉如果我失去了黎明，我也失去了盖尔和卡罗尔。
I've lost all the girls that sit at Dawn's lunch table at school.
我失去了学校里黎明午餐桌上所有的女孩。
I'm all alone, and I have nowhere to sleep tonight.
我孤身一人，今晚无处可眠。
I go into Anthony's and buy three slices with pepperoni with the last of my money.
我走进安东尼店，用最后的钱买了三片意大利辣香肠。
I eat as fast as I can, with warm grease dripping down my neck.
我尽可能快地吃东西，温热的油脂从我的脖子上滴下来。
My throat burns with swallowing so fast.
我的喉咙因吞咽速度太快而灼痛。
Inside the Sears bathroom there are two girls at the sink.
西尔斯浴室里有两个女孩在水槽边。
I don't know them.
我不认识他们。
One girl has her head back, and the other is French braiding her hair.
一个女孩把头向后仰，另一个女孩正在编法式辫子。
Best friends.
最好的朋友。
When they see me, one of them reaches up, turns on the hand dryer to shut me out.
当他们看到我时，其中一个人伸手打开干手器，把我拒之门外。
I go into a stall and lean over the bowl, one hand holding onto the toilet paper roll.
我走进一个隔间，靠在碗上，一只手握住卫生纸卷。
The other hand turns into a knife.
另一只手变成了一把刀。
I stick it down into my throat until my stomach starts to shake and my mouth gags open, and the pizza rushes back up me and down, splashing into the bowl.
我把它塞进喉咙里，直到我的胃开始颤抖，嘴巴张开，披萨又从我身上涌上来，溅到碗里。
The hand dryer clicks off.
干手器发出咔嗒声关闭。
One of the girls says, "Lisa should never wear yellow.
其中一个女孩说：“丽莎不应该穿黄色衣服。
Have you noticed that?
你注意到了吗？
She looks like a frog in yellow.
她看起来像一只黄色的青蛙。
It's weird."
这很奇怪。”
I lean against the wall of the stall, my head against the coat hook.
我靠在隔间的墙上，头靠在衣帽钩上。
My stomach feels thin and flat, empty.
我的胃感觉又薄又平，空空如也。
I let out a deep breath of air, and just for that one moment, between letting air out and filling myself up again, I feel beautiful, like a puzzle piece sliding in to fit.
我深深地吸了一口气，就在那一刻，在呼出空气和再次填满自己之间，我感觉很美丽，就像一块拼图滑入合适的位置。
But then it's gone, and I flush the toilet and come out.
但后来它就消失了，我冲了马桶就出来了。
"Skanks" was by Rennie Sparks.
《Skanks》是雷尼·斯帕克斯的作品。
Music was by The Handsome Family.
音乐由英俊家族演唱。
[MUSIC - "I ENJOY BEING A GIRL"]
[音乐-“我喜欢做一个女孩”]
Act Three, Good Girl.
第三幕，好女孩。
Well, our program today about teenage girls comes to a close with this last story from radio producer Greg Whitehead, who lives in Massachusetts.
好吧，我们今天关于少女的节目以居住在马萨诸塞州的广播制作人格雷格·怀特海德的最后一个故事结束。
This story is called "This Mindless Thing." Again, some content in this story may not be suitable for younger listeners.
这个故事的名字叫《这无意识的事》。同样，这个故事中的某些内容可能不适合年轻听众。
I was 13, and he was 15.
那年我13岁，他15岁。
And we were going to go to the movies.
我们打算去看电影。
We went to the Blue Star shopping center on Route 22 to see Live or Let Die.
我们去22号公路的蓝星购物中心看Live or Let Die。
And I think his mother drove us.
我想他妈妈开车送我们去。
And we sat in the movie next to each other, and he didn't make a move.
而我们在电影里坐在一起，他没有动作。
And nothing happened.
但什么也没发生。
And then his father came and picked us up and drove us back to his house.
然后他的父亲来接我们并开车送我们回他家。
So he said, "Do you want to come up to my room?" And as we went into his room, he closed the door and said, "We're not allowed to lock our doors in my house." So otherwise he would have locked the door.
于是他说道：“你想去我的房间吗？”当我们走进他的房间时，他关上门并说：“我们不可以在我的房子里锁门。”所以不然他就会锁门了。
This is really hard.
这真的很难。
So I don't know.
所以我不知道。
He roamed around and was showing me stuff, and I was just being sort of polite.
他四处闲逛，向我展示东西，我只是出于礼貌。
And showing me all his toys and junk and silly things that he had, and then proceeded to make the moves, make the big moves on me.
他向我展示了他所有的玩具、垃圾和愚蠢的东西，然后开始做出动作，对我做出大动作。
And I was just very innocent.
我只是很无辜。
And he was very aggressive and just started kissing me and then just said, "Take off your shirt."
他非常咄咄逼人，刚开始吻我，然后就说：“脱掉你的衬衫。”
And so I'm sitting there thinking, well, the door is unlocked.
所以我坐在那里想，好吧，门没锁。
And he said, "Well, you know--" And he had a little sister who was pestering us.
他说，“嗯，你知道——”他有一个小妹妹一直缠着我们。
So eventually I said, [UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE] And he's like, "Oh, no." And asks me do I want to see it.
所以最终我说，[难以理解的短语]他说，“哦，不。”并问我想不想看。
I did.
我做到了。
And of course, I want to see it.
当然，我想看看。
I mean, I want to know what it looks like.
我的意思是，我想知道它是什么样子的。
But at the same time, I feel like I'm in this incredibly ominous-- this is a dangerous situation.
但与此同时，我感觉自己正处于一种极其不祥的境地——这是一个危险的境地。
It's pornographic.
这是色情的。
Now I know how much of a little girl I was.
现在我知道我当时是多么的小女孩了。
I was just 13.
我当时才13岁。
I mean, 13 is young.
我的意思是，13岁还年轻。
But there it was, it was this mindless thing.
但事情就是这样，这就是无意识的事情。
And I thought, well [UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE] --I want to see it jump, this is what I have to do.
我想，好吧[难以理解的短语]——我想看到它跳跃，这就是我必须做的。
So yeah, so he whips it out.
所以是的，所以他把它拿出来了。
And we both sit and we look at it.
我们都坐下来看着它。
And he says, "Well, do you want to touch it?"
他说：“那么，你想摸一下吗？”
And I didn't want to, but I did to get to a safe place.
我不想这么做，但为了到达一个安全的地方，我还是这么做了。
It was just horrible and dirty.
这真是太可怕了而且肮脏。
More dirty than anything I've ever done since, even trying to be dirty.
比我从那以后做过的任何事都更肮脏，甚至试图变得肮脏。
It was clinical, and I felt like I was being experimented upon.
这是临床性的，我感觉自己正在接受实验。
And the worst thing was that I was so passive.
最糟糕的是我是如此被动。
And I did what I was told, because I was a good girl.
我按照别人告诉我的去做，因为我是一个好女孩。
It was like a game to him.
这对他来说就像一场游戏。
Now that I'm older, now that I think about it, it was a game.
现在我长大了，现在想起来，那是一场游戏。
It wasn't playful.
这并不好玩。
It was a very sophisticated game.
这是一场非常复杂的游戏。
It was a game.
这是一场游戏。
And it wasn't loving to coerce someone or to seduce someone-- or to seduce a little girl.
它并不喜欢强迫某人或引诱某人——或者引诱一个小女孩。
It was as if he were 40.
就好像他已经40岁了。
So here was this mindless thing.
这就是这个无意识的事情。
And he would look at me and think that I had been curious.
他会看着我，认为我很好奇。
"Want to see it jump?" So he could make it move.
“想看它跳吗？”这样他就可以让它动起来。
And flop around all by itself.
并自行翻滚。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] --mindless thing, but it has a mind of its own and a body of its own.
[插话]——无意识的东西，但它有自己的思想和自己的身体。
It sort of moved around.
它有点移动。
And I was just appalled.
我只是感到震惊。
I had no idea that this was what happened, that you could make it move all by itself, without touching it.
我不知道发生了什么事，你可以让它自己移动，而不用碰它。
And that it just stood up, stood straight up.
它刚刚站起来，笔直地站着。
It was like his little ventriloquist dummy that he could make talk to me.
就像他的口技小假人一样，他可以和我说话。
It wasn't playful.
这并不好玩。
It wasn't erotic.
这不是色情。
It wasn't loving.
那不是爱。
We put our clothes back on.
我们又穿上衣服。
My mother came and picked us up.
我妈妈来接我们了。
And I walked outside on his nice suburban lawn.
我走到他漂亮的郊区草坪上。
I just wanted to get out of there.
我只是想离开那里。
And his mother was there, and my mother was talking to his mother.
他的母亲也在场，我的母亲正在和他的母亲说话。
And I stared at our mothers.
我盯着我们的母亲。
[INTERPOSING VOICES] If they knew what had been going on.
[插话]如果他们知道发生了什么事就好了。
I just wanted to get out of there, to get to a safe place.
我只想离开那里，去一个安全的地方。
But then I knew I could never tell anyone what had happened.
但后来我知道我永远不能告诉任何人发生了什么事。
So I could never be in a safe place.
所以我永远不可能处于安全的地方。
[MUSIC - "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS" BY MAURICE CHEVALIER]
[音乐 - 莫里斯·谢瓦利埃的《感谢小女孩的天堂》]
Could we have chosen a more creepy song than this one to put at this place in our program?
我们是否可以选择一首比这首更令人毛骨悚然的歌曲放在我们节目的这个地方？
I do not think so.
我不这么认为。
Anyway, our program was produced today by Nancy Updike and by myself, with Peter Clowney, Alix Spiegel, and Dolores Wilber.
不管怎样，我们今天的节目是由南希·厄普代克和我本人、彼得·克劳尼、阿利克斯·斯皮格尔和多洛雷斯·威尔伯共同制作的。
Contributing editors, Paul Tough, Jack Hitt, and the fabulous Margy Rochlin.
特约编辑 Paul Tough、Jack Hitt 和出色的 Margy Rochlin。
Musical help with today's show from Chicago DJ John Connors and from the mysterious and elusive Rumpty Rattles.
芝加哥 DJ John Connors 和神秘而难以捉摸的 Rumpty Rattles 为今天的演出提供了音乐帮助。
Original musical scoring under Rennie Sparks' story by The Handsome Family.
The Handsome Family 根据雷尼·斯帕克斯的故事创作的原创音乐配乐。
If you'd like a copy of this program, it only costs $10.
如果您想要该程序的副本，只需花费 10 美元。
That's 10.
那是 10。
You can call us at WBEZ to get one.
您可以致电 WBEZ 获取一份。
312-832-3380.
312-832-3380。
That's 312-832-3380.
那是 312-832-3380。
Or you can email us.
或者您可以给我们发电子邮件。
All emails get answered.
所有电子邮件都会得到回复。
Eventually.
最终。
The address, [email protected] .
地址，[电子邮件受保护]。
[FUNDING CREDITS] WBEZ management oversight by Torey Malatia.
[资金来源] WBEZ 管理由 Torey Malatia 监督。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Time to hit the pit?
是时候入坑了吗？
Ira Glass You bet.
艾拉·格拉斯 你敢打赌。
We'll be back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。