23: Drama Bug - This American Life
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00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #23 | May 10, 1996 23: Drama Bug Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 23 集 | 1996 年 5 月 10 日 23：戏剧 Bug 注意：《This American Life》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass Sure, back when they were freshmen, Kim and Tiffany and Laura were starstruck when they saw the older kids who took the leads in all the high school plays.
序言 Ira Glass 当然，当金姆、蒂芙尼和劳拉还是新生时，当他们看到年长的孩子在所有高中戏剧中担任主角时，他们都被明星迷住了。
There was Sean Bayer, who played Fagin in Oliver.
肖恩·拜尔（Sean Bayer）在《奥利弗》中饰演费金。
There was Kathy Ferraro, who played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and actually hugged Tiffany, who was then just a chorus member, during the big scene when says goodbye to Munchkinland.
还有在《绿野仙踪》中饰演多萝西的凯西·费拉罗 (Kathy Ferraro) 在告别芒奇金兰 (Munchkinland) 的大场面中，还拥抱了当时还只是合唱团成员的蒂芙尼 (Tiffany)。
There was Robin S.
有罗宾·S.
Clark, who was just a freshman like them.
克拉克，和他们一样只是一年级新生。
Robin S.
罗宾·S。
Clark has been the lead in Cabaret and Singing in the Rain .
克拉克曾在《歌舞表演》和《雨中曲》中担任主角。
And when I first met her and I saw her in Cabaret , I was like, oh my god.
当我第一次见到她并在歌舞表演中看到她时，我就想，天哪。
I can't believe she's a freshman.
我不敢相信她是一年级学生。
My god, she's so good.
天哪，她太好了。
And then I had her in a few of my classes and we got to know each other.
然后我让她参加了我的几节课，我们就互相认识了。
And I wouldn't say that we're best friends or anything.
我不会说我们是最好的朋友之类的。
But I know her.
但我认识她。
I had Human Behavior with her.
我和她一起进行了《人类行为》。
And we were in the same group or whatever, and it was just like, oh, she's in my group.
我们在同一个小组或其他什么的，就像，哦，她在我的小组。
Yeah!
是的！
These days, Tiffany, Laura, and Kim are upperclassmen at Oak Park and River Forest High School, just outside Chicago.
如今，蒂芙尼、劳拉和金是芝加哥郊外奥克帕克和河森林高中的高年级学生。
Now they get the lead roles in the school plays.
现在他们在学校戏剧中担任主角。
Now Kim would never be thrown by one girl who she remembers.
现在，金再也不会被她记忆中的任何一个女孩抛弃了。
And oh wow, she was just the lead in 42nd Street and Anything Goes .
哦，哇，她只是《42 街》和《万事如意》中的主角。
Yeah.
是的。
I really got starstruck with her too.
我也真的被她迷住了。
But she was not very nice.
但她不是很好。
And I thought she was so cool.
我觉得她很酷。
And then the times that I'd meet her, she would just totally blow me off like I wasn't even important.
然后当我见到她的时候，她就会彻底抛弃我，好像我根本不重要一样。
And that just really hurt.
这真的很伤人。
That just really knocked me down.
那真的让我很沮丧。
But you know, Oak Park and River Forest is a big school.
但你知道，橡树园和河森林是一所大学校。
And in reality, most students do not get knocked down if the lead from 42nd Street ices them.
事实上，如果 42 街的铅冰冻住了大多数学生，他们不会被击倒。
Most students at Oak Park couldn't care less.
奥克帕克的大多数学生根本不在乎。
Drama is uncool.
戏剧不酷。
Drama is to be ignored.
戏剧是可以忽略的。
But at Oak Park, as in high schools all across Chicago-land, all across our great Midwest, hundreds of miles within the sound of my voice right now, as I speak to you from Chicago, in every high school there's a small cadre of students, and they're in all the plays.
但在橡树园，就像整个芝加哥地区的高中一样，整个伟大的中西部，在我的声音数百英里之内，正如我在芝加哥对你们讲话一样，每所高中都有一小群学生，他们出现在所有的戏剧中。
They can discuss at length which show was Melky Boyle's best one.
他们可以详细讨论哪一场演出是梅尔基·博伊尔最好的一场。
They're the ones who notice the newspaper clipping, taped up in the nurse's office, about Robin S.
他们注意到贴在护士办公室里的关于罗宾·S·肯尼迪的剪报。
Clark, who's now in college.
克拉克，现在正在上大学。
But it said, "Robin S.
但它说：“罗宾·S.
Clark, the new funny girl."
克拉克，新的有趣的女孩。”
Oh my god.
我的天啊。
Drama Student And I was just like, [GASP], I know her.
戏剧学生 我当时想，[喘息]，我认识她。
I know her.
我认识她。
Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it is This American Life .
嗯，来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的节目是《This American Life》。
I'm Ira Glass back for another week, documenting everyday stories of these United States.
我是艾拉·格拉斯，又回来一周了，记录这些美国的日常故事。
Today's show is about the drama bug, people who get it.
今天的节目是关于戏剧错误的，那些明白它的人。
Act One, David Sedaris tells his mom that he wants to be an actor.
第一幕，大卫·塞达里斯告诉他的妈妈他想成为一名演员。
Act Two, a month of rehearsals for a real high school play outside Chicago.
第二幕，为芝加哥郊外的一场真正的高中戏剧进行为期一个月的排练。
Act Three, dying for Shakespeare.
第三幕，为莎士比亚而死。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One.
第一幕。
David Sedaris is the author of Barrel Fever and of many plays, including most recently, One Woman Shoe in New York City.
大卫·塞达里斯（David Sedaris）是《桶热》（Barrel Fever）和许多戏剧的作者，包括最近的《纽约市的一个女人的鞋子》（One Woman Shoe in New York City）。
His plays get critical acclaim in the New York Times and elsewhere.
他的戏剧在《纽约时报》和其他地方受到好评。
He is a Morning Edition commentator.
他是早间版评论员。
And it was this story of his that he's about to read for us, this story about getting the drama bug, that gave us the idea to do an entire program on the drama bug.
他即将为我们读的正是他的这个故事，这个关于戏剧错误的故事，让我们产生了制作一个关于戏剧错误的整个程序的想法。
We're going to divide up this story into two parts.
我们将把这个故事分为两部分。
Here's the first.
这是第一个。
The man was sent to our school in order to inspire us.
这个人被派到我们学校是为了激励我们。
And personally speaking, I thought he did an excellent job.
就我个人而言，我认为他做得非常出色。
After introducing himself in a relaxed and casual manner, he started towards the back of the room, only to be stopped midway by what we came to know as "the invisible wall," that transparent barrier realized only by mimes, drug addicts, and certain varieties of rapid cycling psychotics.
在以一种轻松随意的方式自我介绍后，他开始走向房间的后面，却被我们后来称为“隐形墙”的东西拦住了，那道透明的屏障只有哑剧演员、吸毒者和某些快速循环精神病患者才能实现。
I sat enthralled as he righted himself and began investigating the imaginary wall with his open palms, running his hands over the hard, smooth surface in hopes of finding a way out.
我着迷地坐着，看着他站直身子，开始用张开的手掌观察想象中的墙壁，双手抚过坚硬光滑的表面，希望找到出路。
Moments later he was tugging an invisible rope, then struggling in the face of a violent, fantastic wind.
过了一会儿，他拉着一根看不见的绳子，然后在狂风中挣扎。
You know you're living in a small town when you can reach the ninth grade without ever having seen a mime.
当你上九年级却从未看过默剧时，你就知道自己生活在一个小镇上。
As far as I was concerned, this man was a prophet, a genius, a pioneer in the field of entertainment.
在我看来，这个人是一位先知，一位天才，一位娱乐领域的先驱。
And here he was in Raleigh, North Carolina.
他现在在北卡罗来纳州的罗利。
It was a riot the way he imitated the teacher, turning down the corners of his mouth and rifling through his imaginary purse in search of gum and aspirin.
他模仿老师的方式真是一场骚乱，他弯下嘴角，在想象中的钱包里翻找口香糖和阿司匹林。
Was this guy funny or what?
这家伙是有趣还是什么？
I went home and demonstrated the invisible wall for my infant brother, who pounded at the very real wall beside his bed, shrieking and wailing in disgust.
我回到家，向我的小弟弟演示了隐形墙，他敲打着床边真实的墙壁，厌恶地尖叫和哀号。
When my mother asked what I'd done to provoke him, I threw up my hands in mock innocence, before lowering them to retrieve the imaginary baby which lay fussing at my feet.
当我母亲问我做了什么激怒了他时，我假装无辜地举起双手，然后放下双手去抱住在我脚边大惊小怪的想象中的婴儿。
I patted the back of my little ghost in order to induce gas and was investigating its soiled diaper when I noticed my mother's face assume an expression she reserved for unspeakable horror.
我拍拍我的小鬼魂的背，以引出气体，并正在检查它弄脏的尿布，这时我注意到我母亲的脸上露出了一种她为无法形容的恐惧而保留的表情。
I had seen this look only twice before-- once when she was caught in the path of a charging, rabid pig and once again when I told her I wanted a peach-colored velveteen blazer with matching slacks.
我以前只见过这种表情两次——一次是当她被一头狂暴的猪冲锋时拦住时，还有一次是当我告诉她我想要一件桃色的平绒西装外套和配套的休闲裤时。
"I don't know who put you up to this," she said, "But I'll kill you myself before I watch you grow up to be a clown.
“我不知道是谁让你这么做的，”她说，“但在我看着你长大成为一个小丑之前，我会亲手杀了你。
You want to diaper a baby?
你想给婴儿换尿布吗？
Make yourself useful and wipe up the genuine article." She handed me my brother before turning to leave the room.
让自己变得有用，把正品擦掉。”她把弟弟递给我，然后转身离开房间。
Because I respected her opinion, I did as I was told, ending my career in mime with a whimper, rather than the silent bang I had hoped for.
因为我尊重她的意见，所以我按照她的吩咐做了，以一声呜咽结束了我的哑剧生涯，而不是我所希望的无声巨响。
The visiting actor returned to the classroom a few months later, removing his topcoat to reveal a black body stocking worn with a putty-colored neck brace, the result of a recent automobile accident.
几个月后，这位来访的演员回到了教室，脱掉了他的大衣，露出了一件黑色连体袜，上面戴着油灰色的颈托，这是最近一场车祸的结果。
This afternoon's task was to introduce us to the works of William Shakespeare.
今天下午的任务是向我们介绍莎士比亚的作品。
And once again, I was completely captivated by his charm and skill.
我再一次完全被他的魅力和技巧迷住了。
When the words became confusing, you needed only pay attention to the actor's face and hands to know that this particular character was not just angry, but vengeful.
当言语变得混乱时，你只需要注意演员的脸和手就知道这个特定的角色不仅是愤怒的，而且是复仇的。
I loved the undercurrent of hostility that lay beneath the surface of this deceptively beautiful language.
我喜欢这种看似美丽的语言表面下隐藏的敌意暗流。
It seemed a shame that people no longer spoke this way.
人们不再这样说话似乎很遗憾。
And I undertook a campaign to reintroduce Elizabethan English to the citizens of Raleigh.
我发起了一场运动，向罗利市民重新介绍伊丽莎白时代的英语。
"Perchance, fair lady, thou dost think me unduly vexed at the sorrowful state of thine quarters," I said to my mother as I ran the vacuum over the living room carpet she was inherently too lazy to bother with.
“也许，美丽的女士，您认为我对您住处的悲惨状况感到过分烦恼，”我一边用吸尘器扫过客厅的地毯，一边对母亲说，她本来就懒得理会。
"These foul specks, the evidence of life itself, have sullied not only thine shag-tempered mat, but also thine character.
“这些肮脏的斑点，生命本身的证据，不仅玷污了你的粗毛垫子，也玷污了你的品格。
Be ye mad, woman?
女人，你生气了吗？
Were it a crime to neglect thine dwellings, you, my feeble-spirited mistress, would hang from the tallest venerable tree in penitence for your shameful ways.
如果疏忽你的住所是一种犯罪行为，你，我那意志薄弱的女主人，就会被吊在最高的古老树上，为你的可耻行为忏悔。
Be there not linens to both launder and iron free of turbulence?
难道没有亚麻布可以在没有湍流的情况下洗涤和熨烫吗？
See ye not the porcelain plates and hearty mugs waiting to be washed clean of evidence?
你们没有看到那些等待被清洗干净的瓷盘和丰盛的杯子吗？
Get thee to thine work, damnable lady, and quickly, before the products of thine very loins raise their collected fists in a spirit born of rage and indignation, forcibly coaxing the last breath from the foul chamber of thine vain and upright throat.
快去干你的活吧，该死的女士，快点，在你的腰部产物因愤怒和义愤而举起拳头之前，强行从你虚荣而直立的喉咙的肮脏腔室中挤出最后一口气。
Go now, wastrel, and get to it."
现在就去吧，废物，开始吧。”
This time my mother, a high school dropout, was caught off guard.
这一次，我高中辍学的母亲措手不及。
Members of her immediate family had done time in some serious mental institutions.
她的直系亲属曾在一些严重的精神病院待过一段时间。
And something suggested I might be next.
有件事表明我可能是下一个。
I could tell by the state of my room that she spent the next day searching my dresser for drugs.
从我房间的状况我可以看出，她第二天就在我的梳妆台上搜寻毒品。
The clothes I took pride in neatly folding were crammed tight into the doors with no regard for color or category.
我以折叠整齐而自豪的衣服被紧紧地塞进门里，不考虑颜色或类别。
I smelled the evidence of cigarettes and noticed the coffee rings left on my desk.
我闻到了香烟的味道，并注意到桌上留下的咖啡圈。
I loved my mother dearly.
我非常爱我的母亲。
But mess with mine drawers, and ye have just made thineself an enemy.
但如果你乱动我的抽屉，你就等于把自己变成了敌人。
Tying a feather to the shaft of my ballpoint pen, I quilled her a letter.
我把一根羽毛绑在圆珠笔杆上，给她写了一封信。
"The thing that ye search for so desperately resideth not in mine well-ordered chambers, but in the questionable content of thine own character." I slipped the note into her purse, folded twice and sealed with wax from the candles I now used to light my room.
“你如此拼命寻找的东西并不存在于我井然有序的房间里，而是存在于你自己性格中可疑的内容中。”我把这张纸条塞进她的钱包，折叠两次，并用我现在用来照亮房间的蜡烛的蜡密封。
I took to brooding, refusing to let up until I received a copy of Shakespeare's collected plays.
我开始沉思，直到收到一本莎士比亚戏剧集为止。
Reading them, though, just didn't provide the kick I'd hoped for.
然而，阅读它们并没有给我带来我所希望的刺激。
I found it more enjoyable to simply carry the book from room to room, occasionally skimming for fun words I might toss into my ever-fragrant vocabulary.
我发现简单地把这本书从一个房间带到另一个房间，偶尔浏览一下有趣的单词，我可能会扔进我永远芬芳的词汇中，这更有趣。
The dinner hour became either unbearable or excruciatingly, depending on my mood.
晚餐时间要么变得难以忍受，要么变得难以忍受，这取决于我的心情。
"Me thinks, kind sir, most gentle lady, fellow siblings all, that this barnyard fowl be most tasty and succulent, having simmered in its own sweet juices for such a time as it might take the sun to pass, rosy and full-fingered, across the plum-colored sky for the course of a twilight hour.
“我认为，仁慈的先生，最温柔的女士，各位兄弟姐妹，这种稗鸡是最美味和多汁的，它在自己的甜汁中炖了一段时间，可能需要太阳经过，玫瑰色和饱满的手指，在梅子色的天空上度过一个黄昏的时间。
'Tis crisp yet juicy, this plump bird, satisfied in the company of such finely roasted neighbors.
这只肥美的鸟又脆又多汁，与如此精心烤制的邻居在一起感到满意。
Hear me out, fine relations, and heed my words.
亲爱的朋友们，请听我说完，并留意我的话。
For me thinks it adventurous, and fanciful too, to saddle mine fork with both foul and carrot at the exact same time, the twin juices blending together in a delicate harmony which doth cajole and enliven the tongue in a spirit of unbridled merriment.
对我来说，在我的叉子上同时放上腐肉和胡萝卜，这既冒险又奇特，两种汁液以一种微妙的和谐方式混合在一起，以一种无拘无束的欢乐精神哄骗和活跃舌头。
What say ye, fine father, sisters, and infant brother too, that we raise our flagons high in celebration of this hearty feast, prepared lovingly and with tender grace by this dutiful woman we have the good fortune to address as our wife, wench, or mother?"
亲爱的父亲、姐妹们，还有尚在襁褓中的弟弟，我们高高举起酒壶来庆祝这场由这位我们有幸称呼为我们的妻子、少女或母亲的孝顺女人精心准备的丰盛盛宴，你们怎么说？”
My enthusiasm knew no limits.
我的热情没有极限。
And as a result, it quickly reached the point where my mother literally begged me to wait in the car while she stepped into the bank or the grocery store.
结果，事情很快就发展到了这样的地步：我母亲在走进银行或杂货店时，恳求我在车里等。
I was at the orthodontist's office, placing a pox upon the practice of dentistry, when the visiting actor returned to our classroom.
当来访的演员回到我们的教室时，我正在正牙医生的办公室里给牙科诊所涂痘。
"You missed it, my friend Lois said, the man was so indescribably powerful that I was practically crying.
“你错过了，我的朋友路易斯说，这个人是如此强大，以至于我几乎哭了。
That's how brilliant he was.
那是他多么的辉煌。
I can't describe it any better than that," she placed her chain in her hand and stared out the window into the parking lot.
我无法比这更好地描述它了。”她把链子放在手里，凝视着窗外的停车场。
"There's absolutely nothing left for me to say about it, nothing.
“对此我绝对没什么可说的，没什么可说的。
I could try to explain his realness, but you'd never be able to understand it."
我可以尝试解释他的真实性，但你永远无法理解。”
Lois and I had been friends for six months when our relationship suddenly took on a competitive edge.
路易斯和我已经做了六个月的朋友，后来我们的关系突然变得更具竞争优势。
I'd never cared who made better grades or had the most spending money.
我从来不关心谁成绩更好或者花钱最多。
We each had our strengths.
我们每个人都有自己的长处。
The important thing was to honor one another for the thing they did best.
重要的是要互相尊重他们做得最好的事情。
Lois complained better than I did.
路易斯的抱怨比我更好。
And I respected her for that.
我因此尊重她。
Her grotesque excess of self-confidence allowed her to march into school wearing a rust-colored Afro wig.
她怪诞的过度自信让她戴着铁锈色的非洲式假发走进学校。
And I stood behind her 100%.
我百分百支持她。
She had more records than I did.
她的记录比我多。
And because she was a year older, she also knew how to drive a car and did so as if she were rushing to a fire.
而且因为比她大一岁，她也知道如何开车，而且开车就像冲向火场一样。
Fine, I thought, good for her.
好吧，我想，这对她有好处。
I was genuinely happy for Lois until she questioned my ability to understand the visiting actor.
我真的为路易斯感到高兴，直到她质疑我理解这位来访演员的能力。
I was the one who identified his brilliance in the first place.
我是第一个发现他才华的人。
Me, not her.
我，不是她。
Sure, she'd been there beside me in the classroom, but she didn't even realize that was an invisible wall until I told her.
当然，她在教室里就在我旁边，但直到我告诉她，她才意识到那是一堵看不见的墙。
When he'd come in with his Shakespeare, she'd been just like the rest of them, laughing at his neck brace and rolling her eyes at the tangerine-sized lump in his tights.
当他带着莎士比亚进来时，她和其他人一样，嘲笑他的颈托，对他紧身衣上橘子大小的肿块翻白眼。
Now she was telling me that I couldn't understand him?
现在她却告诉我我无法理解他？
Me think not.
我认为不是。
"Honestly woman," I said to my mother on our way to the dry cleaner, "To think that this low-lying worm might speak to me of greatness as though it were a thing invisible to mine eyes is more than I can bear.
“老实说，女人，”我在去干洗店的路上对母亲说，“想到这条低洼的蠕虫可能对我诉说着伟大，就好像它是我眼睛看不见的东西一样，这让我无法忍受。
Her words doth strike mine heart with the force of a punishing blow, leaving me both stunned and highly vexed too.
她的话给我的心带来了沉重的打击，让我既震惊又恼火。
Hear me though, for I shall bide my time quietly and with cunning, striking back at the very hour she doth least expect it.
不过请听我说，因为我会静静地、狡猾地等待时机，在她最意想不到的时候反击。
Such an affront shall not go unchallenged.
这种侮辱不应受到质疑。
Of that you may rest assured, gentle mother.
对此，您可以放心，温柔的母亲。
My vengeance will hold the sweet taste of the ripest berry.
我的复仇将保留最成熟浆果的甜味。
And I shall savor it slowly and with gusto."
我会慢慢地、津津有味地品味它。”
"You'll get over it," my mother said.
“你会克服的，”我妈妈说。
"Give it a few weeks and the whole thing will blow over."
“再过几周，整个事情就会过去。”
This would become her answer to everything.
这将成为她对一切的答案。
She'd done some asking around and concluded that I'd been bitten by what her sister called, the drama bug.
她四处询问后得出的结论是，我被她姐姐所说的“戏剧迷”所困扰。
My mother was convinced that this was just a phase like all the others.
我母亲确信这只是一个阶段，就像其他阶段一样。
A few weeks of prancing and I'd drop show business just like I had the guitar and my private detective agency.
经过几个星期的腾跃，我就放弃了演艺事业，就像我拥有了吉他和私人侦探社一样。
I hated having my life's ambition reduced to the level of a common cold.
我讨厌我的人生抱负沦为普通感冒的程度。
This wasn't a bug but a full-fledged virus.
这不是一个错误，而是一个成熟的病毒。
It might lay low for a year or two, but this little germ would never go away.
它可能会隐藏一两年，但这个小细菌永远不会消失。
It had nothing to do with talent.
这与天赋无关。
Rejection wouldn't weaken it and no amount of success could ever satisfy it.
拒绝不会削弱它，再多的成功也无法满足它。
The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals, and plump women who wear their hair in bangs.
犹太人、同性恋者和留刘海的丰满女性对戏剧的痴迷最为强烈。
These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention.
这些人出于某种原因极度渴望关注。
I would later learn that it's a bad idea to gather more than two of these people in an enclosed area for any amount of time.
后来我了解到，将两个以上的人聚集在一个封闭的区域中无论时间长短都是一个坏主意。
"Stage" is not an actual place but rather a state of mind related to one's whereabouts during the time you're not asleep.
“舞台”不是一个实际的地方，而是一种与你不睡觉时的所在位置有关的心态。
"Audience" defines anyone pausing long enough for you to interrupt.
“观众”定义了任何停顿足够长的时间让你打断的人。
We were a string of light bulbs left burning 24 hours a day.
我们是一串24小时亮着的灯泡。
And as a result, our exhausted public soon stopped wondering what all the fuss was about.
结果，我们筋疲力尽的公众很快就不再想知道这些大惊小怪的原因是什么。
[MUSIC- "BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE" BY CYBILL SHEPHERD]
[音乐-“复习你的莎士比亚”，作者：CYBILL SHEPHERD]
David Sedaris' story of getting the drama bug will continue later in our program after another story documenting everyday life in these United States.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 的戏剧迷故事将在我们的节目稍后继续讲述，另一个记录美国日常生活的故事。
This recording, by the way, is Cybill Shepherd, 1974, an album called, Cybill Does it to Cole Porter.
顺便说一句，这张唱片是 Cybill Shepherd，1974 年的专辑，名为 CybillDoesittoColePorter。
Act Two.
第二幕。
"Lost in Yonkers." There are only 13 rehearsals left for the Oak Park and River Forest High School production of Neil Simon's play, Lost in Yonkers .
“迷失在扬克斯。” Oak Park 和 River Forest 高中制作的尼尔·西蒙 (Neil Simon) 的戏剧《迷失在扬克斯》(Lost in Yonkers) 只剩下 13 次排练了。
And still people do not know their lines.
但人们仍然不知道他们的台词。
Maybe he's a thief too, mama.
也许他也是个小偷，妈妈。
But at least he loved me enough to want to help me.
但至少他足够爱我，愿意帮助我。
Yeah, we're alive but that's all we are.
是的，我们还活着，但这就是我们的全部。
Aaron and Rose are the lucky ones.
亚伦和罗斯是幸运者。
To play grandma, Tiffany Moore uses this metal cane during rehearsals.
为了扮演奶奶，蒂芙尼·摩尔在排练时使用了这根金属手杖。
And it's become this all-purpose prop that she uses for expressing her moods, waving it around in the air, pointing it at people.
它已经成为她用来表达情绪的万能道具，在空中挥舞它，将它指向人们。
At this point, she slams it against the ground.
就在这时，她把它重重地摔在了地上。
The assistant director, the stage manager, and the director, Mr. Simon, sit in the audience with scripts in hand and feed lines.
副导演、舞台监督和导演西蒙先生坐在观众席上，手里拿着剧本和线路。
Not that hard a line.
这条线没那么难。
No, don't say that.
不，别这么说。
Please god.
请上帝。
Don't say that to me, Bella.
别对我这么说，贝拉。
No, don't say that to me.
不，别对我这么说。
Please god.
请上帝。
Don't say that to me, Bella.
别对我这么说，贝拉。
I'm sorry, Mama.
对不起，妈妈。
I didn't mean to hurt you.
我无意伤害你。
Yes you do.
是的，你知道。
Ira Glass Actually, the show's not in bad shape.
Ira Glass 事实上，这部剧的状况还不错。
The actors are mastering their accents, blocking, basic characters, they're all down.
演员们正在掌握他们的口音、阻塞、基本角色，他们都很沮丧。
Tiffany's on stage with Laura Lopardo and both of them are old pros, veterans of seven other high school plays.
蒂芙尼和劳拉·洛帕多一起登台，两人都是老职业选手，是另外七部高中戏剧的老手。
Laura plays Bella, a slightly retarded 35-year-old woman.
劳拉（Laura）扮演贝拉（Bella），一位 35 岁的轻度智障女性。
Laura is one of the strongest performers in this cast.
劳拉是这个演员阵容中表现最出色的演员之一。
She's very soulful.
她很有灵魂。
But she's also Mr. Simon's biggest worry.
但她也是西蒙先生最担心的。
When he critiques the actors at the end of each rehearsal, he mostly tells the other actors to watch their accents or try some little moment a little differently.
当他在每次排练结束时批评演员时，他大多会告诉其他演员注意他们的口音或尝试一些不同的小时刻。
But at rehearsal after rehearsal he has the same criticism for Laura.
但在一次又一次的排练中，他对劳拉也提出了同样的批评。
Her character is still not there, he says.
他说，她的性格仍然不存在。
It just-- it just-- she's just still too smart.
只是——只是——她还是太聪明了。
You're too smart and she's coming out too smart.
你太聪明了，她也太聪明了。
There needs to be more of--
还需要更多——
I try to think about it.
我试着想一想。
It's easier when I say [UNINTELLIGIBLE PHRASE], lines like that are a little more easier.
当我说[难以理解的短语]时，这样的台词更容易一些。
Right, exactly.
对，完全正确。
That sort of represents her level.
这足以代表她的水平。
But then when it's the whole, I'm not crying.
但当一切都结束时，我没有哭。
That's so hard.
那太难了。
I don't really know how to work in stupidity.
我真的不知道如何愚蠢地工作。
Play it more childlike all the way through, Mr. Simon tells Laura, and those moments will come.
西蒙先生告诉劳拉，从始至终都要像孩子一样玩耍，那些时刻将会到来。
So your first line, for instance, Jay?
那么你的第一句话，例如，杰伊？
It's me, Aunt Bella, can I come in?
是我，贝拉阿姨，我可以进来吗？
Guess who forgot how to open the door?
猜猜谁忘了怎么开门？
I forgot my key.
我忘记带钥匙了。
Let us in.
让我们进去。
Hey, Charlie.
嘿，查理。
Come on, let us in.
来吧，让我们进去。
Thank you.
谢谢你。
Bye, you guys.
再见，你们。
Let me in.
让我进去。
You're a goof.
你是个傻瓜。
School is officially closed.
学校正式关闭。
But finally, someone comes to open up the door for the cast of Lost in Yonkers.
但最终，有人为《迷失扬克斯》的演员们打开了大门。
They rehearse three times over spring break and two times the weekend before the show.
他们在春假期间排练了三次，在演出前的周末排练了两次。
And although it is a gorgeous spring day outside, everyone shows up in the dimly lit school hallway.
尽管外面是一个春光明媚的日子，但每个人都出现在灯光昏暗的学校走廊里。
And they seem happy about it.
他们似乎对此很高兴。
You have to look-- Cast Member 3 Look at this.
你必须看看——演员3 看看这个。
--To understand the pulp in this orange juice.
--了解橙汁中的果肉。
Check out the rim of my glass.
看看我的玻璃杯边缘。
Look at this.
看看这个。
Ira Glass Mr. Simon bought of the wrong kind of orange juice for his cast this particular day.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 西蒙先生在这一天为他的演员买了错误的橙汁。
And Laura and Tiffany are teasing him about that.
劳拉和蒂芙尼正在以此取笑他。
The cast has been together for five weeks.
演员们已经在一起五个星期了。
And they're getting so familiar with each other that they're beginning to function as a kind of hilarious, dysfunctional family.
他们彼此变得如此熟悉，以至于他们开始像一个搞笑的、功能失调的家庭一样运作。
You don't understand that-- you know orange juice really has pulp.
你不明白这一点——你知道橙汁确实有果肉。
Not this much.
没这么多。
Cast Member 2 It is slime.
演员2 是史莱姆。
Before rehearsal can begin there have to be, of course, announcements.
当然，在排练开始之前，必须有公告。
Katie has ordered Lost in Yonkers t-shirts for the cast.
凯蒂为演员们订购了《迷失扬克斯》T 恤。
T-shirts from the various plays that they've been in seem to make up a significant part of the daily high school wardrobe of this cast.
他们出演过的各种戏剧中的 T 恤似乎构成了这个演员们日常高中服装的重要组成部分。
And don't stiff me on this.
别在这件事上逼我。
Because I don't want to put $15 in for people who say they're going to buy a t-shirt.
因为我不想为那些说要买一件 T 恤的人投入 15 美元。
There will not be-- if you do not leave your $15.
如果你不留下 15 美元，就不会有。
When do you need it?
你什么时候需要它？
Tuesday at the latest?
最迟周二？
Monday.
周一。
Adult Monday at the latest.
最迟周一为成人。
This is not a bank.
这不是银行。
This is not a bank, that's right.
这不是银行，没错。
This is actually a little joke.
这其实是一个小玩笑。
"This is not a bank," is a line from the play.
剧中的台词是“这不是银行”。
As the cast spends more and more time together, they're starting to form their own little subculture full of references to the play and jokes that only they get.
随着演员们在一起的时间越来越多，他们开始形成自己的小亚文化，其中充满了只有他们才能听到的戏剧和笑话。
The Lost in Yonkers actors can get a laugh out of each other simply by saying the phrase, General Erwin Rommel, or, who was the friend?
《迷失在扬克斯》的演员们只需说一句“欧文·隆美尔将军”，或者“谁是朋友？”就能让彼此开怀大笑。
Who was the friend?
谁是朋友？
Ira Glass And, touchingly, it's hard for them not to use these phrases out in their regular lives as well with people who don't know that these are lines from the play.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 令人感动的是，他们很难不在日常生活中使用这些短语，也很难对那些不知道这些是剧中台词的人使用。
They don't know that these are jokes.
他们不知道这些都是笑话。
That when I yell at my mom these days I use lines from the show.
这些天当我对妈妈大喊大叫时，我会使用节目中的台词。
We were talking about my grandma and I go, Grandma's crazy, mom.
我们正在谈论我的奶奶，我说，奶奶疯了，妈妈。
Where did that horse fall, on her head?
那匹马掉在哪里了，落在她的头上？
I was quoting the show.
我引用的是节目。
It's getting really scary.
真的变得很可怕。
And if all this just makes the drama kids seem like obnoxious weirdos, well you try reciting the same text over and over, three hours a day, for five weeks.
如果这一切只是让戏剧孩子看起来像令人讨厌的怪人，那么你可以尝试一遍又一遍地背诵相同的课文，每天三小时，持续五周。
And see if it isn't running through your head all the time, laying in wait for some conversational gap into which it can drive its powerful force.
看看它是否一直在你的脑海中运行，等待一些对话间隙，以驱动其强大的力量。
At one point, Kim got the idea that they should all go out to eat together at a restaurant in character.
有一次，金突然想到，他们应该一起出去一家餐厅吃饭。
As Tiffany explains, they did drive together in one car, piling into somebody's tiny compact whatever, asked for a table for seven for the Kurnitz family, which is their name in the play.
正如蒂芙尼解释的那样，他们确实一起开一辆车，挤进某人的小型紧凑型车里，为库尼茨一家（他们在剧中的名字）要了一张七人桌。
But then they kind of lost their nerve.
但后来他们有点失去了勇气。
They didn't really play the characters.
他们并没有真正扮演角色。
Instead we just did our accents when we ordered the food.
相反，我们点菜时只是用了我们的口音。
And the waitress kind of looked at us funny.
女服务员有点滑稽地看着我们。
And that was about it.
就是这样。
She didn't really care.
她并不在乎。
But we all thought it was funny.
但我们都觉得这很有趣。
We all thought we were really pretty funny.
我们都觉得我们真的很有趣。
The youngest members of the cast are Ben Myers and Max Stewart.
演员中最年轻的成员是本·迈尔斯和马克斯·斯图尔特。
They're freshmen.
他们是新生。
Though, Max is quick to tell you, if you should ask him, that he's been in lots of plays, drama club shows in grade school, stretching all the way back to his role as Joseph in his first grade Christmas pageant.
不过，如果你问马克斯，他很快就会告诉你，他在小学时参加过很多戏剧、戏剧俱乐部演出，一直追溯到一年级圣诞节选美比赛中扮演约瑟夫的角色。
And then I went to junior high.
然后我就上了初中。
And they have a much more elaborate, much more professional program at the junior high.
他们在初中有更详细、更专业的课程。
And I did a whole bunch of shows there.
我在那里做了很多演出。
I got kind of discouraged after I didn't make West Side Story .
没拍《西区故事》后我有点灰心。
But I just bounced right back and went to the next audition.
但我很快就恢复过来并参加了下一次试镜。
Max, when you talk about this, you sound like such an old pro.
麦克斯，当你谈论这个的时候，你听起来就像一个老专业人士。
Well, I don't want to sound like I've been in the business for that long.
好吧，我不想听起来像是我已经从事这个行业那么久了。
But it's been a few-- it's been a few years.
但已经过去了几年了。
I've seen a lot.
我见过很多。
I've done a lot.
我已经做了很多。
But I've still got a long way to go.
但我还有很长的路要走。
I actually-- I don't like to get all cocky and toot my own horn here, but I did just-- I got asked by someone to understudy for a role at The Village Players theatre, which I was very, very honored to do.
事实上，我不喜欢在这里趾高气扬，自吹自擂，但我只是——有人邀请我在乡村演员剧院替补一个角色，我非常非常荣幸能这么做。
It was really a lot of fun.
这真的很有趣。
The Village Players.
乡村玩家。
Sure, they're not a real professional company.
当然，他们不是真正的专业公司。
Sure, they're out in the suburbs, they're not down in the city.
当然，他们在郊区，不在城市里。
Sure, they're all volunteers.
当然，他们都是志愿者。
But they're adults.
但他们都是成年人了。
Not many boys go out for drama at Oak Park and River Forest high school.
在 Oak Park 和 River Forest 高中，没有多少男孩会出去看戏剧。
And directors often have trouble filling the male roles.
导演们常常很难填补男性角色。
And part of being in high school drama means putting up with friends who do not look too kindly on the entire endeavor.
参加高中戏剧的一部分意味着要忍受那些对整个努力看起来不太友善的朋友。
I think a lot of guys-- almost all the guys see it is a real wussy thing to do, maybe.
我想很多人——几乎所有的人都认为这可能是一件真正愚蠢的事情。
You know what I mean?
你知道我的意思？
Have you felt that, Max?
麦克斯，你有这种感觉吗？
That people are like that?
人就是这样的吗？
Like Ben said, they think it's a wussy thing because they think theater is one step away from like ballet.
就像本说的那样，他们认为这是一件很糟糕的事情，因为他们认为戏剧与芭蕾舞只有一步之遥。
There's a terrible stereotype about all guys in theatre are gay.
人们对剧院里的所有男人都是同性恋有一种可怕的刻板印象。
And it's just-- it's awful because--
这只是——这太可怕了，因为——
Because we're not gay.
因为我们不是同性恋。
Ira Glass An awkward silence falls amongst the three of us for a moment.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 我们三个人之间陷入了一阵尴尬的沉默。
Ben seems to know that what they've just said is a little strange, maybe a little offensive, because he makes a noise as if he's about to say something else.
本似乎知道他们刚才说的话有点奇怪，也许有点冒犯，因为他发出了声音，好像他要说别的事情。
Then he looks at Max, looks down, rocks in place moment, and decides that he's not going to say anything.
然后他看着麦克斯，低下头，在原地摇晃了一下，然后决定什么也不说。
This show, it's definitely probably the smallest part I've ever had.
这个节目，这绝对可能是我看过的最小的部分。
So it's a lot of waiting around, which can be difficult, and just kind of watching everybody else and wishing that I was up there with them.
所以我需要等待很多时间，这可能很困难，我只是看着其他人，希望我能和他们在一起。
Kim Plostina plays Aunt Gertie in the show.
金·普洛斯蒂娜在剧中扮演格蒂阿姨。
It's a small role, but the kind of small character part that can steal entire scenes.
虽然是个小角色，但却是那种可以抢走整个场景的小角色。
Kim wants to be an actress.
金想成为一名演员。
And, while most of the cast is considering acting and theater as one option for their lives, Kim is certain.
而且，虽然大多数演员都考虑将表演和戏剧作为他们生活的一种选择，但金很确定。
But she suffers from a handicap that the others do not.
但她有其他人没有的障碍。
Her father is a professional actor.
她的父亲是一名职业演员。
He does a lot of college industrial films.
他拍了很多大学工业电影。
Actually, he discourages me from it because he doesn't want me to get hurt, is his reason.
事实上，他不鼓励我这样做，因为他不想让我受伤，这是他的原因。
But if anything, that's just harder.
但如果有什么不同的话，那就是更难了。
Because then I always feel like I have to prove myself to him too.
因为那时我总觉得我也必须向他证明自己。
I really wish he'd encourage me since it's kind of hypocritical since he does the same thing.
我真的希望他能鼓励我，因为他也做了同样的事情，这有点虚伪。
Oh yeah.
哦，是的。
Oh he's definitely had a hard time at it.
噢，他确实经历了一段艰难的时期。
Especially since a couple of his friends have made it big time, and then he hasn't.
尤其是他的几个朋友已经取得了巨大的成功，而他却没有。
So that's hard for him to watch.
所以他很难看。
Years ago, at the Shady Lane Theater in Marengo, Illinois, her father was in shows with a young David Hasselhoff.
几年前，在伊利诺伊州马伦戈的谢迪莱恩剧院，她的父亲与年轻的大卫·哈塞尔霍夫一起演出。
And seeing his daughter fall in love with the theater-- it must be a kind of ordeal for him, the kind of test that every parent dreads.
而看到女儿爱上戏剧——这对他来说一定是一种考验，是每个父母都害怕的考验。
Should he discourage her in the thing she loves if it worries him so?
如果她让他担心的话，他应该阻止她做她喜欢的事情吗？
But lately, Kim says, he's gone through a big change.
但金说，最近他经历了很大的变化。
He told her that he's going to introduce her to an agent.
他告诉她，他要把她介绍给一位经纪人。
He's going to help her get auditions.
他要帮助她参加试镜。
And then, my dad has said to me that he's been watching me on stage and sometimes tears come to his eyes.
然后，我爸爸对我说，他一直在舞台上看着我，有时他的眼睛里会流泪。
Just for him to say that, and since he always is discouraging me.
只是为了他才这么说，而且他总是在劝阻我。
For him to tell me that, it means a lot.
他告诉我这件事，意义重大。
Tell me where.
告诉我在哪里。
Cast Member 9 Well, you have a problem.
演员 9 好吧，你有一个问题。
I know I have a problem.
我知道我有问题。
I'm trying to solve it.
我正在努力解决它。
And I'd appreciate any help you might give me from standing back there.
我很感激你站在后面能给我的任何帮助。
Six days before opening night, they run the play for the first time on the stage with the beginnings of a set, chairs representing where furniture will go.
开幕之夜前六天，他们首次在舞台上演出该剧，并以布景开头，椅子代表家具的去向。
And there is a problem, there seems to be no way to put a table and sofabed on the stage and still have room for entrances and exits.
还有一个问题，似乎没有办法在舞台上放置桌子和沙发床，同时仍然有入口和出口的空间。
So the cast converges on stage.
于是演员们就聚集在舞台上。
OK, I'm as tall as my arms are, right?
好吧，我的手臂和我一样高，对吗？
And I know I'm exactly as tall as--
我知道我的身高和--
No, I need somebody that's the largest person that's going to be on this bed.
不，我需要一个能睡在这张床上的最大的人。
OK, lay on the floor.
好吧，躺在地板上。
Put your head under the chair.
把头放在椅子下面。
At this point, a surreal scene gets even more surreal.
至此，超现实的场景变得更加超现实。
For the next eight minutes, Jeff lays on the floor, his head under a chair, as six people walk around him arguing.
在接下来的八分钟里，杰夫躺在地板上，头枕在椅子下，六个人围着他争论。
He is placid.
他很平静。
He is happy.
他很高兴。
He is the consummate professional.
他是完美的专业人士。
And this is part of why you do theater in high school.
这也是你在高中做戏剧的部分原因。
It's not just the place where you can get applause and approval.
这不仅仅是您可以获得掌声和认可的地方。
As Tiffany says, this is the most intense problem solving, the most serious, concentrated work that she does in high school.
正如蒂芙尼所说，这是她在高中期间解决问题最激烈、最认真、最集中的工作。
But for example, do things happen in class that are as intense as that little discussion in your real classes?
但是，例如，课堂上发生的事情是否像真实课堂上的小讨论一样激烈？
No, never.
不，从来没有。
The most debated thing that ever has happened in any of my classes is whether or not everyone did the homework or not.
在我的任何课堂上发生过的最有争议的事情是每个人是否都做了作业。
It's just so much more intense because it's a thinking and a physical thing and you just do it.
它只是更加激烈，因为它是一种思考和身体上的事情，而你只是去做。
And you do it over and over and over again until it's perfected.
然后你一遍又一遍地做，直到完美为止。
Trixie, can you hear me?
特里克西，你能听到我说话吗？
I've been giving warrants.
我一直在发出搜查令。
He gave you a warrant.
他给了你搜查令。
Sound Crew Guy I'm not hearing you.
音响人员我听不到你说话。
In the sound closet are the crew guys, the techies, who run the lights and the sound and build the set and handle the props.
音响室里有工作人员、技术人员，他们负责灯光和音响、搭建布景和处理道具。
Anybody who's ever done theater anywhere will tell you about the ancient rivalry between cast and crew.
任何曾经在任何地方做过戏剧的人都会告诉你演员和工作人员之间古老的竞争。
There are 45 crew members for three theaters at Oak Park and River Forest High School.
Oak Park 和 River Forest 高中的三个剧院共有 45 名工作人员。
And they constitute kind of a permanent government.
他们构成了一种永久政府。
Actors come and go.
演员来了又走。
Shows come and go.
表演来来去去。
But crew members, they're there every week.
但是船员们，他们每周都在那里。
And frankly, it can be a little irritating to them that the actors think that they're all that, when the crew really runs the show.
坦率地说，当剧组真正掌控这部剧时，演员们却认为自己就是这样，这可能会让他们有点恼火。
At this school, they all have special hall passes.
在这所学校，他们都有特殊的大厅通行证。
They all answer to a teacher that they all refer to simply as, "Boss." They all insist that you spell crew, C-R-U-E, as in Motley Crue.
他们都向一位老师简单地称呼为“老板”。他们都坚持要拼写成“crew”，C-R-U-E，就像《Motley Crue》中那样。
And don't forget that umlaut.
并且不要忘记那个元音变音。
Senior Jon Huber has done 57 shows.
高年级乔恩·胡贝尔 (Jon Huber) 已演出 57 场。
Everything on crue is tradition.
克鲁伊尔的一切都是传统。
Everything.
一切。
In our yearbook pictures we have pictures of our arms crossed right over left with a cut-out of a dinosaur and a stand-up light.
在我们的年鉴照片中，我们有双臂交叉在左上方的照片，上面有恐龙的剪影和立式灯。
And the dinosaur's name is Ralph.
恐龙的名字叫拉尔夫。
And the stand-up light's named Stanley.
立灯的名字是斯坦利。
And we have literally turned around and walked out of pictures for our yearbook because they said we couldn't have it.
我们实际上已经转身并放弃了我们年鉴的照片，因为他们说我们不能拥有它。
Jon says there's a lot of prejudice against crew.
乔恩说，对船员有很多偏见。
Some teachers think that they're slackers, and smokers, and drug users.
一些老师认为他们是懒鬼、吸烟者和吸毒者。
People don't notice the charity work crew does.
人们没有注意到慈善工作人员的注意。
People haven't noticed that so many more girls are now on crew.
人们没有注意到现在剧组里有这么多女孩。
Though that does threaten some crew traditions.
尽管这确实威胁到了一些船员的传统。
Some of the problems that we've had is female crew members have coddled some of the younger-classmen.
我们遇到的一些问题是女船员溺爱一些低年级的同学。
And usually it's been our intent to kind of rule with an iron fist.
通常我们的意图是用铁拳进行统治。
Do you think there's anything positive about the way the girls want to do it?
你认为女孩们这样做有什么积极的意义吗？
Oh yeah.
哦，是的。
They work a whole lot more than we do.
他们的工作量比我们多得多。
At that point, he turned back to his own work.
那时，他又回到了自己的工作上。
Cues were being missed and opening night was just a few nights away.
线索被错过了，距离开幕之夜只有几个晚上了。
We arrive there in a minute when our program continues.
当我们的节目继续进行时，我们将在一分钟内到达那里。
It's This American Life .
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Our story about the Oak Park and River Forest High School production of Lost in Yonkers continues with opening night.
我们关于橡树园和河林高中制作的《迷失扬克斯》的故事将在开幕之夜继续进行。
Aahhh.
啊啊。
Yeah I know.
是的，我知道。
My hands are sweating.
我的手出汗了。
Minutes before the curtain rises, Laura is still being made up.
幕布升起前几分钟，劳拉仍在化妆。
She's sick with what turns out later to be pnemonia.
她得了肺炎，后来证明是肺炎。
Mr. Simon has given her another set of pep talks about making her character childlike and not too smart.
西蒙先生给了她另一组鼓舞人心的演讲，让她的性格变得孩子气，但不要太聪明。
She shivers and runs to the stage.
她颤抖着跑到舞台上。
No opening night is complete without some kind of small crisis.
如果没有某种小危机，开幕之夜就不完整。
For Lost in Yonkers , it involves a form-fitting, sleeveless t-shirt that Jeff is supposed to wear on stage.
对于《迷失扬克斯》来说，杰夫应该在舞台上穿着一件合身的无袖 T 恤。
Jeff, get used to the idea.
杰夫，习惯这个想法。
You're wearing it.
你正戴着它。
You're wearing the dego tee.
你穿着 dego T 恤。
You have to.
你必须这样做。
I can't, come on.
我不能，来吧。
Mr. Simon You have to.
西蒙先生 你必须这样做。
It's tighter than hell.
比地狱还要紧。
Mr. Simon I don't care.
西蒙先生 我不在乎。
You have to.
你必须这样做。
There are two types of actors, the kind who'd love nothing more than to reveal more of their own bodies on stage and the kind who can get a little self-conscious.
演员有两种类型，一种只想在舞台上更多地展示自己的身体，另一种则有点不自在。
Jeff is squarely in that second camp.
杰夫完全属于第二个阵营。
He thinks he's too big for a tight t-shirt.
他认为自己太大了，不适合穿紧身 T 恤。
And on the side of the dressing room, he sits, muttering bitterly that wearing the t-shirt will hurt his performance.
而他坐在更衣室的一侧，痛苦地嘀咕着穿这件T恤会影响他的表现。
Everyone goes backstage.
大家都到后台去了。
It's all shadows and darkness and the dim, blue work lights.
到处都是阴影、黑暗和昏暗的蓝色工作灯。
For six weeks, they've planned for this moment and practiced for it and wondered about it.
六周以来，他们一直在为这一刻进行计划、练习并思考。
And now, for the first time, they get to see if they were right about what would make sense to the audience.
现在，他们第一次看到自己的观点是否对观众有意义。
And early in the first scene, it happens.
在第一个场景的早期，它就发生了。
They get their first laugh.
他们第一次笑。
A few scenes later, Jeff, who's playing a small-time Jewish gangster, is supposed to strip to his sleeveless t-shirt.
几个场景之后，扮演一个犹太小帮派的杰夫应该脱掉衣服，只剩下无袖 T 恤。
He unbuttons his outer shirt, revealing the tight t-shirt underneath.
他解开外衣扣子，露出里面的紧身T恤。
And there he stops.
然后他停了下来。
He never takes off his outer shirt.
他从不脱掉外衣。
His character, Uncle Louie, simply decides to climb in bed wearing a dress shirt.
他的角色，路易叔叔，只是决定穿着衬衫爬上床。
Backstage, I catch up with him.
在后台，我追上了他。
Mr. Simon is going to kill me but-- that's not a Louie-like thing to do.
西蒙先生会杀了我，但是——这不是路易会做的事。
But you know what?
但你知道吗？
I don't think anybody out there really cares and is paying that much attention to me wearing a dress shirt when I go to bed.
我认为没有人真正关心和关注我睡觉时穿着衬衫的情况。
If it makes me do better, I'm going to do it.
如果这能让我做得更好，我就会去做。
During intermission, Mr. Simon came backstage and congratulated all the actors.
中场休息时，西蒙先生来到后台向所有演员表示祝贺。
And he told Jeff that he looked ridiculous.
他告诉杰夫他看起来很可笑。
Still, Jeff got more laughs than anyone in the cast.
尽管如此，杰夫比演员中的任何人都获得了更多的笑声。
And Mr. Simon resolved to get him a looser-fitting t-shirt for future performances.
西蒙先生决定给他买一件宽松一点的 T 恤，以备将来表演之用。
Opening night, by any measure, was a wildly successful night of theater.
无论如何，开幕之夜都是一个非常成功的戏剧之夜。
They all got laughs.
他们都笑了。
Everyone kept their accents.
每个人都保留着自己的口音。
Everyone remembered their lines.
每个人都记住了自己的台词。
And while everyone was good, Laura, Tiffany, and Jeff were stand-outs.
虽然每个人都很好，但劳拉、蒂芙尼和杰夫表现出色。
Bella, sweatheart, don't go to that movie anymore.
贝拉，心肝宝贝，别再去看那部电影了。
And don't see that fella again.
并且不要再见到那个家伙了。
He may be very nice.
他可能很好。
But he sounds like he's got a lot of wacky ideas.
但他听起来好像有很多古怪的想法。
Do you know what I mean, sweetheart?
你知道我的意思吗，亲爱的？
Jay, Arty, you said you'd support me.
Jay、Arty，你们说过会支持我的。
You said you'd back me up.
你说过你会支持我的。
You promised.
你答应了。
Back you up with what?
用什么来支持你？
The restaurant?
餐厅？
The money?
钱？
Is that what this guy is after?
这就是这个家伙所追求的吗？
He wants more than that.
他想要的还不止这些。
Jeff What could possibly be more than that, Bella?
杰夫 还有什么比这更重要的呢，贝拉？
Me.
我。
He loves me.
他爱我。
He wants to marry me.
他想娶我。
I want to marry him.
我想嫁给他。
I want to have his children.
我想要他的孩子。
I want my own babies.
我想要自己的孩子。
Jesus Christ.
耶稣基督。
Ira Glass During the big dramatic scenes between Laura and Tiffany, it was just like Mr. Simon predicted.
艾拉·格拉斯（Ira Glass） 在劳拉（Laura）和蒂芙尼（Tiffany）之间的戏剧性大场面中，正如西蒙先生所预测的那样。
You could hear a pin drop.
你可以听到一根针掉落的声音。
The audience was that quiet.
观众席上一片安静。
And after the last scene, after the bows, they run from the dressing room, up some stairs, through a door, and out into the lobby where their friends and families are.
在最后一个场景之后，鞠躬之后，他们从更衣室跑出来，爬上楼梯，穿过一扇门，来到他们的朋友和家人所在的大厅。
You were so good.
你真是太好了。
Ira Glass Mr. Simon found them all.
艾拉·格拉斯·西蒙先生全部找到了。
He told them the show went just as he'd dreamt of.
他告诉他们演出正如他所梦想的那样进行。
And when he spotted Laura, he hugged her.
当他发现劳拉时，他拥抱了她。
Well-- oh my god-- I don't know what to say to you.
好吧——天哪——我不知道该对你说什么。
You were so fabulous.
你真是太棒了。
That scene with you and Mama was-- you blew me away.
你和妈妈的那一幕——你让我震惊。
Every moment tonight was perfect.
今晚的每一刻都是完美的。
It was the best you've ever been.
这是你经历过的最好的一次。
I mean, I was crying through half of it.
我是说，我看了一半都哭了。
I'm so grateful.
我很感激。
You have come so far.
你已经走了这么远。
It really was-- it really was.
确实如此——确实如此。
And while they stood in the lobby, a pair of young girls, someone's sisters, ran up to the different performers, thrilled, starstruck.
当他们站在大厅里时，一对年轻女孩，某人的姐妹，跑到不同的表演者面前，兴奋不已，心潮澎湃。
They said a few words and ran off, nervous and excited.
他们说了几句话就跑开了，既紧张又兴奋。
[MUSIC- "SHOWTIME" BY SAMMY DAVIS, JR.]
[音乐-小萨米·戴维斯的“SHOWTIME”]
It's This American Life , our special drama bug edition.
这是《This American Life》，我们的特别戏剧 bug 版本。
And now we continue our dramatic little presentation with David Sedaris, the second half of his story.
现在我们继续与大卫·塞达里斯进行戏剧性的小演讲，这是他的故事的后半部分。
I had the drama bug and Lois had a car.
我喜欢戏剧，而路易斯有一辆车。
This being the case, I quickly forgave her when informed that the visiting actor had scheduled a production of Hamlet set to take place at the amphitheatre of the Raleigh Rose Garden.
既然如此，当我得知来访的演员已安排在罗利玫瑰园的圆形剧场上演《哈姆雷特》时，我很快就原谅了她。
He, himself, would direct and play the title role.
他本人将执导并扮演主角。
But the other parts were up for grabs.
但其他部分还有待争夺。
We went to the audition, and, because we were the youngest, Lois and I were assigned the roles of the traveling players Hamlet uses to bate his Uncle Claudius.
我们去试镜，因为我们是最小的，路易斯和我被分配扮演哈姆雷特用来痛骂他的叔叔克劳迪斯的旅行演员的角色。
It wasn't the part I was hoping for, but I accepted it with a quiet dignity.
这不是我所希望的，但我以一种平静的尊严接受了它。
I still had a few speeches and planned to use them to the best of my ability, outshining the other actors who were all much older than I.
我还有几场演讲，打算尽我所能，超越其他比我年长很多的演员。
They were in their 20s and 30s and carried years of experience in such long-running outdoor dramas as The Lost Colony and Tender is the Lamb .
他们年龄在20多岁和30多岁之间，拥有多年拍摄《失落的殖民地》和《温柔的羔羊》等户外长剧的经验。
These were professionals and I hoped to benefit from their experience, sitting literally at their feet as the director paced the lip of the stage, addressing his clenched fist as, "poor Yorick."
这些都是专业人士，我希望能从他们的经验中受益，当导演在舞台边缘踱步时，我坐在他们的脚边，用紧握的拳头称呼“可怜的约里克”。
I worshipped these people.
我崇拜这些人。
Lois slept with them.
路易斯和他们一起睡。
By the second week of rehearsal, she had taken up with Laertes, who she claimed had a real way with the sword.
排练的第二周，她开始与莱尔提斯交往，她声称莱尔提斯拥有真正的剑术。
Unlike me, she was embraced by the older crowd, attending late-night keg parties with Polonius and Ophelia, driving to the lake with the director while Gertrude and Rosenkrantz made out in the backseat.
与我不同的是，她受到了年长人群的拥抱，与波洛尼尔斯和奥菲莉亚一起参加深夜的酒桶派对，与导演一起开车去湖边，而格特鲁德和罗森克兰茨在后座上亲热。
The killer was that Lois was nowhere near as committed as I was.
致命的是路易斯远没有我那么忠诚。
Her drama bug was the equivalent of a 24-hour-flu.
她对戏剧的痴迷相当于24小时的流感。
Yet there she was, swimming naked with the director himself, while I practiced lines alone in my room.
然而她却在那里，和导演本人一起裸泳，而我则独自在房间里练习台词。
As traveling players, it was decided that we would make our entrance tumbling onto the stage.
作为巡回演出的选手，我们决定以跌跌撞撞的方式登上舞台。
When Lois complained that the grass was irritating her skin, the director examined the wee pimples on her back and decided that, rather than tumbling, the players would enter skipping.
当路易斯抱怨草刺激了她的皮肤时，导演检查了她背上的小疙瘩，并决定球员们不要翻滚，而是要跳绳。
I had practiced my tumble until my brain lost its mooring and could be heard rattling in my skull.
我一直在练习翻滚，直到我的大脑失去了固定，可以听到我的头骨嘎嘎作响。
And now, on the basis of one complaint, we were skipping.
现在，由于一项投诉，我们就逃课了。
He'd already cut out all of my speeches, leaving me with one line, "Aye, my Lord." While the other actors strolled the rose gardens memorizing their vengeful soliloquies, I skipped back and forth across the parking lot whispering, "Aye, my Lord.
他已经删掉了我所有的演讲，只留下一句话：“是的，我的主。”当其他演员在玫瑰园里漫步，背诵他们复仇的独白时，我在停车场上来回跳跃，低声说道：“是的，我的主。
Aye, my Lord." Lois felt silly skipping and spoke to the director, who praised her instincts and announced that henceforth, the players would enter walking.
是的，我的主。”路易斯觉得跳绳很傻，于是对导演说道，导演称赞了她的直觉，并宣布从今往后，选手们将进入步行状态。
The less I had to do, the more my fellow actors used me as a personal slave.
我要做的事情越少，我的同伴们就越把我当作私人奴隶。
I would have been happy to help them run lines.
我很乐意帮助他们运行线路。
But instead, they wanted me to polish their crowns or trot out to the car and search the floorboards for their dagger.
但相反，他们希望我擦亮他们的王冠，或者小跑到车上，在地板上搜寻他们的匕首。
"Looking for something to do?
“找点事做吗？
You can help Dugan glow tape the stage," the director said.
你可以帮助杜根在舞台上发光，”导演说。
"You can chase the spiders out of the dressing room, or better yet, run to the store.
“你可以把蜘蛛赶出更衣室，或者更好的是，跑到商店。
Who wants drinks?"
谁要饮料？”
Not only did Lois lay in the shade doing nothing, but she was the first one to hand me a $20 bill when placing an order for a $0.30 candy bar.
路易斯不仅躺在树荫下无所事事，而且在我订购 0.30 美元的糖果时，她是第一个递给我 20 美元的人。
During rehearsal breaks, she huddled with the actors while I was off anchoring ladders for one of the technicians.
排练休息期间，当我为一名技术人员固定梯子时，她和演员们挤在一起。
When it came time for our big scene, Lois recited her lines as if she were reading the words from the surface of some distant billboard.
当我们的大场面到来时，露易丝背诵她的台词，就好像她正在阅读远处广告牌表面的文字一样。
She squinted and paused between syllables, punctuating each word with a question mark.
她眯着眼睛，在音节之间停顿，在每个单词上加上问号。
If the director had a problem with her performance, he kept it to himself.
如果导演对她的表演有意见，他也不会告诉她。
I, on the other hand-- I needed to remove the sweater from around my neck, walk slower, and drop the accent.
另一方面，我——我需要脱掉脖子上的毛衣，放慢脚步，放下口音。
It might have been easier to accept the criticism had he spread it around a little, but that seemed unlikely.
如果他把批评传播开来一点，也许会更容易接受批评，但这似乎不太可能。
She could enter the stage with a slice of pizza in one hand and a Dr. Pepper in the other and that was fine, Lois, just great.
她可以一手拿着一片披萨，另一只手拿着胡椒博士上台，这很好，路易斯，太棒了。
By this point, I was finding my own way home from rehearsal.
此时，我已经排练结束，自己找到回家的路了。
Lois couldn't give me a ride if she was always rushing off to some party or restaurant with, what she referred to as, "the gang from Elsinore." I would wave them off and wait in the parking lot for one of my parents to drive me home.
如果洛伊丝总是和她所说的“来自埃尔西诺的帮派”一起赶去某个聚会或餐馆，她就不能载我一程。我会挥手让他们走开，然后在停车场等我的父母之一开车送我回家。
"The thing to remember," my mother said, "Is that 10 years from now, you could wake up underneath one of these people and have no idea you'd ever even seen them before.
“要记住的一件事，”我母亲说，“十年后，你可能会在这些人的下面醒来，却不知道自己以前见过他们。
Time passes.
时间流逝。
You'll see.
你会看到的。
Enough liquor and people can forget anything.
酒喝多了，人就会忘记一切。
Don't let it get to you.
别让它影响到你。
If nothing else, it's taught you to skim the change while buying their drinks."
如果不出意外的话，它教会了你在购买他们的饮料时要略过零钱。”
I didn't appreciate her casual attitude.
我不欣赏她随意的态度。
But the business with the change was insightful.
但这种变化带来的业务是富有洞察力的。
My mother had the vengeful part down.
我母亲把复仇的部分放下了。
It was the craft of acting I thought she knew nothing about.
我以为她对表演技巧一无所知。
We were in dress rehearsal when the director approached Lois in regards to a production he had planned for the fall.
当导演就他计划于秋季拍摄的一部作品与路易斯接洽时，我们正在进行彩排。
This was to be a musical based on the lives of roving gypsies, and he had her in mind for the role of a lusty bandit.
这是一部以流浪吉普赛人的生活为基础的音乐剧，他想让她扮演一个精力旺盛的强盗角色。
Lois couldn't sing.
路易斯不会唱歌。
Everybody knew that.
每个人都知道这一点。
Neither could she act or play the tambourine.
她既不会表演，也不会敲手鼓。
I watched the man kneel down in the grass and literally beg her to accept the part.
我看着那个男人跪在草地上，恳求她接受这个角色。
When I expressed an interest, he suggested I might enjoy working behind the scenes in some backstage capacity.
当我表达兴趣时，他建议我可能喜欢在幕后以某种后台身份工作。
He meant for me to hang lights or lug scenery, to turn into one of those guys with low-riding pants and a belt burdened with wrenches and thick roles of gaffer's tape.
他的意思是让我挂灯或拖布景，变成那些穿着低裤、腰带上挂着扳手和厚厚的灯光师胶带的家伙。
Anyone thinking I might be trusted with electrical wiring had to be a complete idiot.
任何认为我可以信任电线的人一定是个十足的白痴。
And that's what this man was.
而这个男人就是这样的人。
I looked at him clearly then, noticing how his tights made a mockery of his slack calves and dumpy little basket.
我当时清楚地看着他，注意到他的紧身衣是如何嘲笑他松弛的小腿和矮胖的小篮子的。
If he was such a big, stinking deal, what was he doing in Raleigh, North Carolina?
如果他是一个如此大而臭的交易，他在北卡罗来纳州罗利做什么？
His blow-dried hair, the Cuban-heeled shoes and rainbow-striped suspenders-- it was all a sham.
他吹干的头发、古巴高跟鞋和彩虹条纹背带——这一切都是假的。
Why wear tights with suspenders when their only redeeming feature was that they promised to stay up on their own?
当吊带裤袜唯一的可取之处就是保证自己能熬夜时，为什么要穿吊带裤袜呢？
And acting?
还有演技？
The man performed as though everyone around him sported a shrimp-sized hearing aid clamped to their ear.
这个男人的表现就好像他周围的每个人都把一个虾大小的助听器夹在耳朵上。
He shouted his lines, grinning like a jack-o-lantern and flailing his hands as if he were fighting off gnats.
他大声喊着台词，笑得像个南瓜灯，挥舞着双手，好像在驱赶蚊子。
His was a form of acting that never fails to embarrass me.
他的表演方式总是让我感到尴尬。
It's the same feeling I get when watching someone hawk a vegetable slicer or deliver a singing telegram.
当我看到有人兜售蔬菜切片机或发出唱歌的电报时，我也有同样的感觉。
You know it's supposed to sound convincing.
你知道这听起来应该很有说服力。
But you can't get beyond the sad fact that this person actually thinks he's bringing some joy into your life.
但你无法摆脱一个悲伤的事实：这个人实际上认为他正在给你的生活带来一些欢乐。
Somewhere he's got a mother sifting through a shoe box of mimeographed playbills, pouring herself another drink and wondering when her son is going to come to his senses and swallow some drain cleaner.
在某个地方，一位母亲正在翻阅一盒油印的剧单，给自己倒了一杯饮料，想着她的儿子什么时候才能清醒过来，吞下一些下水道清洁剂。
I saw Hamlet for the man he was and, in the process, saw myself as a sort of sad sack Yorick who would blindly follow along behind him.
我看到了哈姆雷特的真实面目，在这个过程中，我把自己看作是一个悲伤的约里克，盲目地跟在他身后。
My parents attended the opening night performance.
我的父母参加了开幕之夜的表演。
Following my, "Aye, my Lord," I laid on the grass as Lois poured a false vile of poison into my ear.
当我说“是的，我的主”之后，我躺在草地上，路易斯将一种虚假的恶毒毒液倒入我的耳朵里。
As I lay dying, I opened my eyes enough to see my father sleeping, my mother stretched out beside him fighting off the moths who, along with a few dozen humans, had been attracted by the bright light.
当我弥留之际，我睁开眼睛，看到父亲正在睡觉，母亲躺在他身边，与被明亮的光线吸引的飞蛾和几十个人一起搏斗。
There was a cast party afterwards, but I didn't go.
后来有一个演员聚会，但我没有去。
I changed my clothes in the dressing room where the actors stood congratulating one another.
我在更衣室里换了衣服，演员们站在那里相互祝贺。
Horatio asked me to run to the store for some cigarettes and I pocketed his money, promising to return with lightning speed.
霍雷肖让我跑去商店买点烟，我把他的钱装进口袋，并承诺以闪电般的速度回来。
"You were the best in the whole show," my mother said, stopping for frozen pizza on her way home.
“你是整场演出中最棒的，”我母亲一边说，一边在回家的路上停下来吃冷冻披萨。
"I mean it.
“我是说真的。
You walked onto that stage and all eyes went right for you." It occurred to me then that my mother was a better actor than I could ever hope to be.
你走上舞台，所有的目光都投向你。”那时我突然意识到，我的母亲是一位比我想象的更好的演员。
Acting is different than posing or pretending.
表演不同于摆姿势或假装。
When done well, it bears a striking resemblance to lying.
如果做得好，它与撒谎有着惊人的相似之处。
I didn't envy my mother's skill.
我并不羡慕妈妈的手艺。
Neither did I contradict her.
我也没有反驳她。
That's how convincing she was.
这就是她的说服力。
It seemed best, sitting beside her with a frozen pizza thawing on my lap, to simply sit back and learn.
坐在她旁边，腿上放着一块解冻的冷冻披萨，似乎是最好的方式，只是坐下来学习。
David Sedaris lives in New York City.
大卫·塞达里斯住在纽约市。
He's the author of Barrel Fever .
他是《桶热》一书的作者。
"Drama Bug" is from an upcoming book.
“戏剧错误”来自一本即将出版的书。
[MUSIC- "THE MAN WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH" BY ANTHONY NEWLEY]
[音乐-安东尼·纽利的《让你发笑的男人》]
I know this song is just getting better and better.
我知道这首歌越来越好。
But we don't have time to play the whole thing, and we have to spin head towards the end so you can hear this.
但我们没有时间演奏整个曲子，我们必须把头转向最后，这样你才能听到这个。
This is just too good.
这太好了。
Hold on.
坚持，稍等。
Here we go.
开始了。
Again just spinning ahead on our little tape machine so you can hear the end of this.
再次在我们的小磁带机上旋转，这样你就可以听到这首歌的结尾。
Here we go.
开始了。
[MUSIC- "THE MAN WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH" BY ANTHONY NEWLEY]
[音乐-安东尼·纽利的《让你发笑的男人》]
The song stylings of Mr. Anthony Newley here on This American Life .
安东尼·纽利先生在《This American Life》中的歌曲风格。
Act Three, "From the Audience Seats." OK, so you mean to go to the theater.
第三幕，“从观众席上”。好吧，所以你想去剧院。
That was so Baltimore, the way I just said that.
巴尔的摩就是这样，我刚才就是这么说的。
OK, so you know you want to go to the movies.
好的，所以你知道你想去看电影。
So you mean to go to the theater-- I'm from Baltimore so the accent creeps out sometimes-- so you mean to go to the theater.
所以你想去剧院——我来自巴尔的摩，所以口音有时会蔓延——所以你想去剧院。
But it's so much trouble.
但实在是太麻烦了。
And it's so much time.
而且时间还很多。
And tickets are expensive, and you have to pay the sitter, and there's parking, and yeah, yeah, yeah.
而且门票很贵，你还得付钱给保姆，而且还有停车位，是的，是的，是的。
Mark O'Brien faces obstacles even more harsh than this to attend the theater.
马克·奥布莱恩 (Mark O'Brien) 去剧院面临着比这更严峻的障碍。
Because he had polio when he was a kid, he's in an iron lung.
因为他小时候得过小儿麻痹症，所以他得了铁肺。
He can come out of the iron lung for a limited amount of time, though, and for a while-- as unlikely as this sounds-- he would use that time to go to plays.
不过，他能从铁肺中出来的时间有限，而且有一段时间——尽管这听起来不太可能——他会利用这段时间去看戏。
We offer this little piece of writing as an extreme example of what some people will go through, as audience, when they get the drama bug.
我们提供这篇小文章作为一个极端的例子，说明一些人作为观众，当他们迷上戏剧时会经历什么。
The first time I attended a performance of the Berkeley Shakespeare Festival, they did Hamlet in the round.
我第一次参加伯克利莎士比亚戏剧节的演出时，他们全面演出了《哈姆雷特》。
It began when a man pushed a wheelbarrow on stage, [UNINTELLIGIBLE] through a trap door that trundled down a ramp three feet from me.
故事开始于一名男子在舞台上推着一辆独轮手推车，[无法辨认]穿过活板门，活板门从距离我三英尺的坡道上滚下来。
The guards ran onstage dressed in Green Beret uniforms.
警卫们穿着绿色贝雷帽制服跑上舞台。
I was hooked.
我被迷住了。
After that, I went to every performance I could.
在那之后，我尽可能地去看了所有的演出。
The festival allowed a friend in for free.
节日允许一位朋友免费参加。
So every summer, I rented vans equipped with wheelchair lifts to take us to the park.
所以每年夏天，我都会租一辆配有轮椅升降机的面包车带我们去公园。
The season's tickets cost more than $100, expensive for someone living on SSI.
整个赛季的门票价格超过 100 美元，对于靠 SSI 生活的人来说太贵了。
But as a friend told me, culture is what we live for, the reason we put up with bills, smog, and [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
但正如一位朋友告诉我的那样，文化是我们赖以生存的原因，也是我们忍受账单、烟雾和[难以理解]的原因。
The stage, surrounded by tall trees, faced a natural amphitheatre.
舞台周围环绕着高大的树木，面向一个天然的圆形剧场。
I sat right next to the elevated stage [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
我坐在高架舞台旁边[无法辨认]。
One of the light stands.
其中一盏灯矗立着。
One year, I bought two tickets for each performance.
有一年，我每场演出买了两张票。
During a night performance of Coriolanus , the actor, the lead, dressed like a 20th century admiral, tore off his epaulets and hurled them offstage, nearly hitting me.
在《科利奥兰纳斯》的一场夜间演出中，男演员、男主角穿着像 20 世纪的海军上将，撕下他的肩章并把它们扔到舞台外，差点砸到我。
The following week, the actor approached me before showtime.
接下来的一周，这位演员在演出前找到了我。
"I'm surprised you're back," he said, "I thought I might've killed you with those epaulets." I was so excited to meet him that I forgot to ask for his autograph.
“我很惊讶你回来了，”他说，“我以为我可能用那些肩章杀了你。”我很高兴见到他，以至于忘记了要他的签名。
Every performance was exciting because it was live and things might go wrong.
每场表演都令人兴奋，因为它是现场表演，可能会出现问题。
Things seldom went wrong, but still there was always that chance.
事情很少出错，但这种机会仍然存在。
You [UNINTELLIGIBLE] that advantage from the deadly perfect land of movies and television.
你[无法理解]从电影和电视的完美之地中获得了优势。
I love seeing the same actor take on different roles.
我喜欢看到同一个演员扮演不同的角色。
One actor, who imitated Johnny Carson, who played the clown, Touchstone, for As You Like It -- the following week he was Richard II, the tyrannical, blustering king who becomes more eloquent, more human, after he's overthrown and imprisoned.
一位演员模仿了约翰尼·卡森（Johnny Carson），他在《皆大欢喜》中扮演小丑塔奇斯通（Touchstone）——接下来的一周，他扮演理查德二世（Richard II），这位暴虐、咆哮的国王，在被推翻和监禁后变得更加雄辩、更加人性化。
After many years in the park, the Berkeley Shakespeare Festival moved to a new amphitheatre in the suburbs.
在公园举办多年后，伯克利莎士比亚节搬到了郊区的一个新圆形剧场。
The stage area is half a mile from the entrance.
舞台区距入口半英里。
When we reached our seats, I saw there wasn't a speck of shade.
当我们到达座位时，我发现没有一点阴影。
At 4:00 in the afternoon, it was well over 80.
下午4:00，已经80多了。
We often suffer for the things we love.
我们经常为自己所爱的事物而受苦。
This could be as true of Shakespeare as anything else.
对于莎士比亚来说，这可能和其他任何事情一样真实。
As an English major accustomed to the five-word sentences and flat inflections of Californians, I found Shakespeare's heightened sense of language intoxicating.
作为一个习惯了加州人的五字句子和平淡语调的英语专业学生，我发现莎士比亚高度的语言感令人陶醉。
It's not just the thees and thous.
这不仅仅是这些和千。
It's the metaphors, the jokes, the rhythms of the poetry and the jostling, bubbling, prose.
这是隐喻、笑话、诗歌的节奏以及争吵、冒泡的散文。
So I thought I would suffer gladly for these pleasures.
所以我想我会很乐意为这些快乐而受苦。
I stayed in that blast furnace of language too long.
我在语言的熔炉里呆得太久了。
The heat made me so weak that I couldn't drink any water.
天气太热了，我很虚弱，连水都喝不了。
I became ill and had to be hospitalized.
我生病了，不得不住院。
In the hospital, I clapped [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
在医院里，我鼓掌[无法辨认]。
I turned blue whenever the iron lung was off for more than three minutes.
每当铁肺关闭超过三分钟时，我就会脸色发青。
My doctor thought I would die.
我的医生认为我会死。
It took me six weeks to become well enough to leave the hospital.
我花了六周的时间才康复出院。
I told people I nearly became the first person to die from Shakespeare.
我告诉人们我差点成为第一个死于莎士比亚的人。
It could be worse.
情况可能会更糟。
Abraham Lincoln died from a lousy comedy.
亚伯拉罕·林肯死于一场糟糕的喜剧。
Mike O'Brien lives in Berkeley, California.
迈克·奥布莱恩住在加利福尼亚州伯克利。
He's a writer and poet, author of a book of poems called Breathing .
他是一位作家和诗人，着有一本诗集《呼吸》。
His email address, Marko-- that's M-A-R-K-O-- @well.com.
他的电子邮件地址 Marko——即 M-A-R-K-O——@well.com。
I noticed my mother's face assume an expression she reserved for unspeakable horror.
我注意到母亲的脸上呈现出一种她为无法形容的恐惧而保留的表情。
I had seen this look only twice before.
这种表情我以前只见过两次。
Once when she was caught in the path of a charging, rabid pig and once again when I told her I wanted a peach-colored velveteen blazer with matching slacks.
有一次，她在一只疯狂的猪冲锋的路上被抓住，还有一次，我告诉她我想要一件桃色的平绒西装外套和配套的休闲裤。
Back next week with more stories of This American Life.
下周我们将带来更多《美国生活》的故事。
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。