225: Home Movies - This American Life
You are using an outdated browser.
您正在使用过时的浏览器。
Please upgrade your browser or activate Google Chrome Frame to improve your experience.
请升级您的浏览器或激活 Google Chrome 浏览器内嵌框架以改善您的体验。
Sign up for a free Life Partners trial, and you can watch the video “A Night of Stories and Improv.”
注册免费试用《Life Partners》，您可以观看视频“故事与即兴表演之夜”。
00:00 00:00 Transcript Share This American Life Life Partners How to Listen Episodes Recommended About Overview Staff Announcements Fellowships Jobs Music Make Radio On The Road FAQ Submissions Merch Contact Us Our Other Shows Merch Follow Us Life Partners Subscribe to our newsletter Full episode Toggle Audio and Transcript Sync Transcript | Episode #225 | December 4, 2015 225: Home Movies Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard.
00:00 00:00 文字记录 分享此 美国生活 生活伙伴 如何收听 剧集 推荐 关于 概述 员工公告 奖学金 工作 音乐 在路上制作电台 常见问题解答 提交 商品 联系我们 我们的其他节目 商品 关注我们 生活伙伴 订阅我们的时事通讯 整集 切换音频和文字记录同步 文字记录 | 内容第 225 集 | 2015 年 12 月 4 日 225：家庭电影 注意：《美国生活》是为耳朵而制作的，旨在让人们听到。
If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page.
如果可以的话，我们强烈建议您收听音频，其中包括页面上没有的情感和重点。
Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors.
文字记录是使用语音识别软件和人工转录员结合生成的，可能包含错误。
Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print.
请在印刷版引用前检查相应的音频。
Prologue Ira Glass OK, you know the rules.
序言 艾拉·格拉斯 好吧，你知道规则的。
No smoking in here.
这里禁止吸烟。
Cell phones off.
手机关机。
No talking during the show.
演出期间不许说话。
Ready?
准备好？
OK, let's roll the film.
好吧，让我们把电影卷起来吧。
This is a home movie, and it looks like any other home movie.
这是一部家庭电影，看起来和其他家庭电影没什么两样。
People at a summer resort.
人们在避暑胜地。
White cottages with screened-in porches and red roofs.
带有屏蔽门廊和红色屋顶的白色小屋。
There's a woman with an 18-month-old girl running around.
有一个女人带着一个 18 个月大的女孩跑来跑去。
There I am.
我就在那里。
Aren't I cute?
我不可爱吗？
Look at that.
看看那个。
Chubby.
胖乎乎的。
Some things just don't change.
有些事情就是不会改变。
Kathy Alexander is the 18-month-old in the film, now all grown up.
凯西·亚历山大是影片中 18 个月大的孩子，现在已经长大了。
What interests her in this film is the woman.
她在这部电影中感兴趣的是女人。
Kathy is adopted, and she thinks that this woman, whose name she does not know, might be her real mother.
凯西是被收养的，她认为这个不知道名字的女人可能是她的亲生母亲。
The woman's face is mostly obscured because they're in the shade.
女人的脸大部分都被遮住了，因为他们在阴影中。
It's fuzzy.
很模糊。
The film's old, and Kathy strains to see the resemblance.
这部电影很老了，凯西费尽心思想看出其中的相似之处。
Oh, here she is.
哦，她在这里。
See, almost right in here, you could see her face.
看，就在这里，你几乎可以看到她的脸。
And if I could just get that lightened-- some point right here-- see, what happens is, it's lighter, and again, there's my profile.
如果我能把它变得更轻——就在这里的某个点——看，会发生什么，它变得更轻，而且，这就是我的个人资料。
And then right here, this right here, is my posture.
然后就在这里，就在这里，就是我的姿势。
Just looking at that looks like I'm looking at myself on one of my other home videos.
光看这个就好像我在看我的其他家庭视频中的自己。
And here-- if you could take a look, if I can even just show you that thigh.
在这里——如果你能看一下，如果我什至可以给你看那条大腿。
I mean, nobody's got thighs like that.
我的意思是，没有人有那样的大腿。
Those are mine.
那些是我的。
That's a hereditary feature because I could see my daughter has, just like I did.
这是一种遗传特征，因为我可以看到我女儿也有这种特征，就像我一样。
She watches this minute of film over and over.
她一遍又一遍地观看这一分钟的电影。
She gives copies of it to friends the way that other people hand out pictures of their kids.
她把它的副本送给朋友，就像其他人分发孩子的照片一样。
It's one of the most important things she owns.
这是她拥有的最重要的东西之一。
But to look at it, you'd never know because all home movies look alike.
但看看它，你永远不会知道，因为所有的家庭电影看起来都很相似。
When they mean anything, it's small and it's private.
当它们有意义时，它很小而且是私人的。
The pictures themselves don't tell much.
图片本身并不能说明什么。
You know what I'm talking about.
你知道我在说什么。
Birthday parties, weddings, rites of passage.
生日聚会、婚礼、成人仪式。
First steps.
第一步。
Babies in bassinets.
摇篮里的婴儿。
Alan Berliner spent six years of his life going around finding old home movies and watching them and collecting them and finally condensing them into this amazing film that he called Family Album.
艾伦·柏林纳（Alan Berliner）花了六年的时间寻找老家庭电影，观看并收集它们，最后将它们浓缩成这部令人惊叹的电影，他称之为《家庭相册》。
There's invariably the baby that they put on the back of the family dog.
他们总是把婴儿放在家里的狗背上。
That's a standard shot?
这就是标准镜头？
You've seen that a lot?
你见过很多这样的事吗？
I've seen several of that.
我见过好几个这样的。
Yes.
是的。
The beach is also big, big.
海滩也很大很大。
Big.
大的。
Alan Berliner Big time beach.
艾伦·柏林 (Alan Berliner) 伟大的海滩。
Summer beach.
夏季海滩。
The beach figures bigger into our home movies than into our lives.
海滩在我们的家庭电影中的作用比在我们生活中的作用更大。
Yeah, I would say.
是的，我会说。
Swimming is a big thing that Earthlings do, according to home movies.
根据家庭电影的说法，游泳是地球人的一项大事。
Life on earth is a life of leisure without struggle that, again, mostly takes place in the summer, in the water, at beaches, or around pools.
地球上的生活是一种没有挣扎的休闲生活，这种生活大多发生在夏天，在水中、在海滩或在游泳池周围。
Home movies are also primarily about children.
家庭电影也主要是关于儿童的。
Perhaps 60%, 70% percent of home movies contain images of children, I would say up to about the age of 12 or so.
也许 60%、70% 的家庭电影都包含儿童的图像，我想说最多是 12 岁左右。
And then it stops.
然后它就停止了。
In fact, I've seen many, many collections of home movies, and they'll be-- for argument's sake, imagine a girl named Adrian.
事实上，我看过很多很多家庭电影集，为了论证起见，想象一下一个名叫阿德里安的女孩。
The cans will be labeled, "Adrian, Age 1," "Adrian, Age 2," "Age 3," "Age 4." And at about age 11 or 12, it stops.
这些罐头将贴上“阿德里安，1 岁”、“阿德里安，2 岁”、“3 岁”、“4 岁”标签。大约在 11 或 12 岁的时候，这种情况就会停止。
There's no more Adrian until, perhaps, she gets married.
也许在她结婚之前，就再也没有阿德里安了。
And that's because puberty happens, adolescence happens, and you suddenly have a kind of tension within the family in terms of the relation between parent and child.
那是因为青春期发生了，青春期发生了，你突然在家庭中父母和孩子之间的关系变得紧张。
So when there are kids in the films, they're cute and they're little and they're happy.
因此，当电影中出现孩子时，他们很可爱，他们很小，而且很快乐。
All the time.
一直以来。
All the time.
一直以来。
Ira Glass Home movies are a family's way of preserving, forever, the thought, we were a nice family.
艾拉·格拉斯之家电影是一个家庭永远保存我们是一个美好家庭的想法的方式。
We loved each other.
我们彼此相爱。
Any feeling, any fact, about the family besides that fact, generally does not make it into the films.
除此之外，关于家庭的任何感觉、任何事实，通常不会出现在电影中。
And that's as true, Alan Berliner says, of the black and white films that he's watched from the 1920s as the videos taken last month at his niece's birthday party.
艾伦·柏林纳 (Alan Berliner) 表示，他从 1920 年代开始观看的黑白电影与上个月在他侄女的生日聚会上拍摄的视频都是如此。
Because all the images in everybody's home movies are the same, because the pictures are all the same, all the meaning comes from things that are not in the pictures, which makes them, I have to say, the perfect subject for a radio show.
因为每个人的家庭电影中的所有图像都是相同的，因为图片都是相同的，所以所有的意义都来自图片中没有的东西，这使得它们，我不得不说，成为广播节目的完美主题。
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life , distributed by Public Radio International.
来自芝加哥 WBEZ 的《This American Life》，由国际公共广播电台发行。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Today on our program, Home Movies, what they say in spite of themselves.
今天在我们的节目《家庭电影》中，他们不由自主地说了什么。
We bring you five movies for radio in five acts, including stories from David Sedaris and Jonathan Goldstein, a look at the cinematic output of 12-year-old auteurs, and what the producers of America's Funniest Home Videos know about America that you don't.
我们为您带来五幕五幕广播电影，包括大卫·塞达里斯和乔纳森·戈德斯坦的故事、12 岁导演的电影作品一览，以及《美国最有趣的家庭视频》的制作人对美国的了解。
Stay with us.
留在我们身边。
Act One, The Big Night.
第一幕，盛大的夜晚。
We thought that we should begin today's program with one of the classic, typical kinds of home movies, a video of a holiday meal, a family meal.
我们认为我们应该以经典、典型的家庭电影、节日大餐、家庭聚餐的视频来开始今天的节目。
All the relatives sitting around the table.
所有的亲戚都围坐在桌子旁。
I'm sure that you have seen these at some point from Thanksgivings or Christmases.
我确信您在感恩节或圣诞节的某个时候见过这些。
There are not many videos from the Jewish New Year dinner, Rosh Hashanah, a big family event, one of the big Jewish holidays, partly because Jewish law prohibits using a video camera or any other machine on that holy day.
犹太新年晚餐、犹太新年这一大型家庭活动、犹太节日之一的视频并不多，部分原因是犹太法律禁止在该圣日使用摄像机或任何其他机器。
That did not stop Jonathan Goldstein's family from filming one.
但这并没有阻止乔纳森·戈德斯坦的家人拍摄一部影片。
When I was a teenager, the Rosh Hashanah tape was the first thing I'd show any new girlfriend.
当我十几岁的时候，犹太新年磁带是我给新女友看的第一件事。
It was a primer on my family that I felt they would need to see in order to best understand me.
这是我家人的入门读物，我觉得他们需要看看才能最好地了解我。
In showing them the tape, it was like I wanted to make them understand that no matter how messed up I was, all things considered, I really could have been a lot worse.
在向他们展示录像带时，就像我想让他们明白，无论我有多混乱，考虑到所有因素，我真的可能会更糟。
It's been about 10 years since I've looked at the tape.
自从我看录像带以来，已经过去了大约 10 年。
Are you filming me?
你在拍我吗？
Jonathan Goldstein Yeah.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 是的。
The night begins with a feeling of expectation, everyone preparing for the big night.
夜晚在一种期待的感觉中开始，每个人都在为这个重要的夜晚做准备。
My mother clears stacks of laundry off the dining room table.
我妈妈清理了餐桌上成堆的衣服。
With a great show of ceremony, she and my father moved the plastic-covered red velvet couch away from the wall and pull out the extra dining room table leaves from behind it.
她和我父亲表现得很隆重，把塑料覆盖的红色天鹅绒沙发从墙上移开，并从沙发后面拉出了多余的餐桌叶子。
We'd only use the table twice a year.
我们每年只使用这张桌子两次。
Later in the evening, people start to arrive.
傍晚时分，人们开始陆续抵达。
When I'd show this to girlfriends, I would freeze-frame on each of the cast and explain a bit about them.
当我把这个给女朋友看时，我会定格每个演员并解释一下他们。
This is my uncle Lou, I'd say.
我想说，这是我的叔叔卢。
On the night of his mother's death, he ate an entire brisket, so great was his grief.
在他母亲去世的那天晚上，他吃了一整块牛胸肉，他的悲痛如此之大。
Hi, kid.
嗨，孩子。
Say hi.
打个招呼吧。
Mother Don't give me a close-up because my eyes are too ugly for close-ups.
妈妈不要给我特写，因为我的眼睛太丑了，拍不了特写。
Placing the camera up to my eye and squinting into it like that felt good, the way it covered up my face like a mask and stuffed the whole Yiddish circus of my family into a tidy, manageable, little frame that I could fade in and out at will.
把相机放在我的眼前，眯着眼睛看，感觉很好，它像面具一样遮住我的脸，把我家的整个意第绪语马戏团塞进一个整洁、易于管理的小框架里，我可以随意淡入淡出。
That camera has everything on it, everything.
那台相机上有一切，一切。
Has it got a stand too?
也有立场吗？
Father You named the one thing it doesn't have.
父亲，你命名了它没有的一件事。
Early on in the night, I filmed my mother in the kitchen.
深夜早些时候，我在厨房里拍摄了妈妈的照片。
[SINGING] Jonathan Goldstein She dances around and sings for the camera while preparing dinner.
[唱歌] 乔纳森·戈德斯坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 她在准备晚餐时一边跳舞一边对着镜头唱歌。
My grandmother walks in at one point and asks her where the Kleenex is, and my mother tells her to use toilet paper.
我的祖母有一次走进来，问她面巾纸在哪里，我的母亲告诉她使用卫生纸。
In our house, whether you were blowing your nose, mopping up spilled pea soup, or bandaging a head injury, it was toilet paper.
在我们家，无论是擤鼻涕、擦掉打翻的豌豆汤，还是包扎头部受伤的地方，都是卫生纸。
As a kid, I was embarrassed by this.
作为一个孩子，我对此感到尴尬。
Toilet paper.
卫生纸。
It sounded so personal.
听起来很个性化。
And pulling it out of my lunch bag to use as a napkin in the high school cafeteria brought just enough of my family bathroom to the table to make those around me lose their appetite.
把它从我的午餐袋里拿出来用作高中食堂的餐巾，把我家里的浴室带到桌子上，让我周围的人失去胃口。
My mother singing and dancing around the house was another point of embarrassment for me as a kid.
我母亲在房子里唱歌跳舞，这对我小时候来说是另一个尴尬的事情。
I felt like watching her sing "Let's Get Physical" while cooking pancakes was a mild form of child abuse.
我觉得看她一边做煎饼一边唱《让我们锻炼身体》是一种轻微的虐待儿童行为。
Watching her now on the tape, I realize she was singing, not because she was crazy, but because she was actually happy.
现在看着她的录音带，我意识到她在唱歌，不是因为她疯了，而是因为她真的很高兴。
Both her parents were still alive, so she'd let herself act like someone's little kid sometimes.
她的父母都还活着，所以她有时会让自己表现得像某人的小孩子。
I haven't seen her sing like that in years.
我已经很多年没有见过她这样唱歌了。
The presence of the video camera puts my great-aunt Simi in a time capsule-y kind of mood.
摄像机的出现让我的姨婆西米陷入了一种时间胶囊般的情绪。
She decides to tell this story about her son for posterity, so my father helps her shout the table down.
她决定把这个关于她儿子的故事告诉子孙后代，所以我父亲帮她把桌子喊倒了。
Let Simi talk.
让西米说吧。
Aunt Simi When Jeffrey was four years old, we went downtown.
西米姨妈 杰弗里四岁时，我们去了市中心。
And we were caught in the rain waiting for the bus.
我们在等公共汽车时淋着雨。
So there was a Reichmann's store on St. Lawrence and St. Catherine, with a little hallway, so we went in to wait.
圣劳伦斯和圣凯瑟琳有一家赖希曼商店，有一个小走廊，所以我们进去等待。
And there was a display in the windows of lady's lingerie and everything.
橱窗里陈列着女士内衣之类的东西。
He looks in the window, and there's men and women shielding themselves from the rain.
他向窗外望去，看到男人和女人正在避雨。
"Mommy, what's that?"
“妈妈，那是什么？”
I take a look, and I give his hand a jerk.
我看了一眼，猛地拉了一下他的手。
I say, "Nothing." "Oh, you know.
我说：“没什么。” “哦，你知道。
You know.
你知道。
You have it in your drawer." Guess what it was?
你的抽屉里有它。”猜猜那是什么？
A pair of falsies.
一对假货。
Oh, is that something else?
哦，那还有别的事吗？
Jonathan Goldstein When I was a teenager, right here is where I'd pause the tape.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦（Jonathan Goldstein） 当我十几岁的时候，我就在这里暂停磁带。
I would freeze-frame the image of my great-aunt Simi, mouth open, just about to pop in an olive.
我会定格我姑婆西米的形象，她张着嘴，正要插入一颗橄榄。
With that as my backdrop, I would tell the story of how, when I was a child, Simi would command me to pinch her buttocks.
以此为背景，我会讲述我小时候西米如何命令我捏她屁股的故事。
"You can't pinch it," she'd cry, "and that is because it is too tight.
“你捏不到它，”她哭着说，“那是因为它太紧了。
Go ahead." "Keep trying.
继续吧。” “继续努力。
Keep trying," she'd continue, her face all clenched like a fist, all determined to make her buttocks as hard as a cantaloupe.
继续努力，”她继续说道，她的脸像拳头一样紧握，决心让她的臀部像哈密瓜一样坚硬。
In her slippery, skin-tight polyester slacks, trying to get a piece of my aunt's ass was as elusive as pinching a helium-filled balloon.
穿着光滑、紧身的聚酯纤维休闲裤，想要从我姨妈的屁股上割下一块就像捏一个充满氦气的气球一样难以捉摸。
Now, watching the tape with friends a half-generation later, I'm not going to lie to you, that story still kills.
现在，半代人之后，我和朋友们一起看录像带，我不会对你撒谎，那个故事仍然令人震惊。
Incidentally, I should also say that Simi was the first person who ever really felt me up.
顺便说一句，我还应该说西米是第一个真正感受到我的人。
Bored at my uncle Harry's Shiva house, she decided to check and see what was in the front pockets of my pants.
她在我叔叔哈利的湿婆屋里感到无聊，决定检查一下我裤子前面的口袋里有什么。
She uncovered gum wrappers, old movie stubs, and a surprising amount of toilet paper, which she emptied out onto the kitchen table in three glorious scoops that I later referred to as my real bar mitzvah.
她发现了口香糖包装纸、老电影残渣和数量惊人的卫生纸，她把这些卫生纸分成三勺，倒在厨房的桌子上，我后来将其称为我真正的成人礼。
Who made this marble cake?
谁制作了这个大理石蛋糕？
Mother Steve and Lisa's brother-in-law's [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
史蒂夫母亲和丽莎的姐夫的[无法辨认]。
This is excellent.
这太棒了。
Jonathan Goldstein I should probably also tell you that the entire Rosh Hashanah meal is consumed in 15 minutes flat.
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦（Jonathan Goldstein） 我也许还应该告诉您，整个犹太新年餐在 15 分钟内就吃完。
I mean the whole thing, the gefilte fish entree, the salad, the handmade coleslaw, the bean and barley soup, and the main course.
我指的是所有的东西，主菜是鱼丸，沙拉，手工凉拌卷心菜，豆子和大麦汤，还有主菜。
15 minutes.
15分钟。
I remember the TV was on in the basement, and Jeopardy had just started.
我记得地下室的电视开着，危险边缘刚刚开始。
By the time it was Double Jeopardy, we were eating dessert.
当双重危险时，我们正在吃甜点。
But then, paradoxically, dessert was something that lingered on and on.
但矛盾的是，甜点却一直挥之不去。
What are these?
这些是什么？
Moon cookies?
月饼？
Who made these moon cookies?
这些月饼是谁做的？
They're out of this world.
他们已经脱离了这个世界。
My grandfather ate dessert alone in the basement, so he could watch baseball.
我祖父独自在地下室吃甜点，这样他就可以看棒球比赛。
My grandfather was of the mind that no one up there listened to him anyway, so he pretty much stopped trying.
我祖父认为无论如何没人听他的，所以他几乎不再尝试了。
He spoke through his actions, random outrageous incomprehensible actions.
他通过他的行动来说话，随意的、令人难以理解的行为。
Like if he was tired and wanted you to get out of his house, he would come out wearing just his boxer shorts and sit right down beside you on the couch.
就像如果他累了并想让你离开他的房子一样，他会只穿着平角短裤出来，坐在你旁边的沙发上。
You would collect your things, and you would leave.
你会收拾好东西，然后离开。
This next part of the tape, of him and me in the basement, I never made jokes about.
磁带的下一部分，他和我在地下室，我从来没有开玩笑过。
I was so embarrassed by my inability to make simple man-to-man chitchat with my grandfather that when screening the tape I would often just fast-forward through the whole scene because it pained me so.
我因无法与祖父进行简单的面对面交谈而感到非常尴尬，以至于在放映录像带时我常常会快进整个场景，因为这让我很痛苦。
It was just around the whole Pete Rose gambling scandal.
这与整个皮特·罗斯赌博丑闻有关。
They showed him on the cover of Time, crying.
他们在《时代》杂志的封面上展示了他哭泣的样子。
Well, whatever it is.
好吧，不管是什么。
I'm sure he's very disappointed actually.
我确信他实际上非常失望。
This is what most of our conversations were like at the time.
当时我们大部分的谈话都是这样的。
He would stare at the TV, and I would get all sweaty, trying my hardest to talk about anything I could think of that had to do with sports.
他会盯着电视，而我会满头大汗，尽我最大的努力谈论我能想到的与体育有关的任何事情。
Since I never watched them, nor did I play them, my talk revolved around the girlier aspects of sports, the scandals, the exorbitant pay raises, the poem I might have seen Muhammad Ali recite on The Mike Douglas Show.
因为我从来没有看过它们，也没有玩过它们，所以我的谈话围绕着体育运动中女性化的方面、丑闻、过高的加薪，以及我可能在迈克·道格拉斯秀上看到穆罕默德·阿里背诵的那首诗。
And all the while, my grandfather just sat there.
自始至终，我的祖父都坐在那里。
He was a legend.
他是一个传奇。
Grandfather Hall-of-Famer.
祖父名人堂成员。
Well, they can't omit him from that.
好吧，他们不能把他排除在外。
That's up to the critics, I think.
我认为这取决于批评者。
I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.
我不知道我到底在说什么。
Watching the video all these years later, actually 13 years after my grandfather's death, I realize in retrospect that this was around the time he was diagnosed with leukemia.
这么多年后，实际上是我祖父去世13年后，我再看这个视频，我回想起来，这正是他被诊断出患有白血病的时候。
No wonder he didn't want to talk.
难怪他不想说话。
No wonder he went to the basement.
难怪他会去地下室。
At the time, except for my grandmother, he had told no one.
当时，除了我的祖母之外，他没有告诉任何人。
Those kinds of personal things weren't ever talked about in the open.
这类私人事情从来没有公开谈论过。
When we all got together, we argued about where the best place to buy a roast chicken was or what was on TV.
当我们聚在一起时，我们争论哪里买烤鸡最好，或者电视上播放什么。
Well, did you see her today, Oprah, about them?
好吧，奥普拉，你今天见到她了吗？
No, they don't get big.
不，他们不会变大。
Male Relative 2 This guy had a big one, and that guy has a small one.
男亲戚2 这个家伙大的，那个家伙小的。
No one gets to finish a story.
没有人能够完成一个故事。
Conversation is like this verbal game of murderball, back and forth, everybody shouting over everybody else, nobody really listening to anybody.
谈话就像一场谋杀球的语言游戏，来来回回，每个人都在大声喊叫，没有人真正倾听任何人的声音。
But it goes further than even that.
但它的意义远不止于此。
Here's my mother and her aunt Simi sitting side by side on the living room couch with my grandmother, all of them kind of staring off into space after the huge dinner.
这是我的母亲和她的阿姨西米，与我的祖母并排坐在客厅的沙发上，在丰盛的晚餐后，他们所有人都盯着太空。
Then suddenly, apropos to nothing, one of them starts singing "White Christmas." Then the other one, as though sitting on a different couch in a different universe, as if the thought had just arrived from out of the blue, pipes up with the exact same song, never looking at the other, never acknowledging she's there.
然后突然间，无缘无故地，其中一个人开始唱“白色圣诞节”。然后另一个人，仿佛坐在不同宇宙的不同沙发上，仿佛这个想法是突然冒出来的，用同样的歌曲吹奏着，从不看对方，从不承认她在那里。
[SINGING] I'm dreaming of a white Christmas--
[歌唱] 我梦想着一个白色的圣诞节——
[SINGING] I'm dreaming of a white Christmas--
[歌唱] 我梦想着一个白色的圣诞节——
[SINGING] --just like the ones we used to know.
[唱歌]——就像我们以前认识的那样。
[SINGING] --I used to know.
[歌唱]——我以前就知道。
Jonathan Goldstein Let's not even get into the fact that, one, they're singing a Christmas carol in the middle of September, and two, it also happens to be the holiest night on the Jewish calendar.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦（Jonathan Goldstein）：我们甚至不必考虑这样一个事实：一，他们在九月中旬唱圣诞颂歌，二，这也恰好是犹太日历上最神圣的夜晚。
What all this chaos leads to, the logical climax in consequence of the entire evening, is when, in the middle of dinner, my father gets it into his head that right now, at that very instant, he was going to fix the loose knob on the front door.
所有这些混乱导致了整个晚上的逻辑高潮，就是在晚餐中间，我父亲突然想到，就在此时此刻，他要去修理前门上松动的旋钮。
The doorknob had been loose for years at this point, and why he decided to fix it just then, to this day, he cannot say.
门把手此时已经松动多年，而他为什么决定在那时修复它，直到今天，他也说不出来。
So my father goes downstairs into the garage to get his toolbox, which, to be fair, isn't actually a literal toolbox, but a plastic lunch pail which contains a wrench, a pair of rusty pliers, a plastic 12-inch ruler, and a screwdriver.
于是我父亲下楼到车库去拿他的工具箱，公平地说，它实际上并不是一个真正的工具箱，而是一个塑料午餐桶，里面有一把扳手、一把生锈的钳子、一把塑料 12 英寸尺子和一把螺丝刀。
The camera casually pans past a wall of neatly-stacked spare toilet paper on the garage shelves.
镜头随意地扫过车库架子上一堵整齐堆放的备用卫生纸。
My uncle Lou decides to help.
我叔叔卢决定帮忙。
These screwdrivers are [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
这些螺丝刀[难以理解]。
No, that isn't the one I want.
不，那不是我想要的。
Well, tighten the thing here.
好吧，把这里的东西拧紧。
Jonathan Goldstein Now, let me make this as clear as I can.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦 现在，让我尽可能清楚地说明这一点。
When my father and Lou first started working on the doorknob, the time code in the corner of the video screen reads 6:27.
当我父亲和卢第一次开始修理门把手时，视频屏幕一角的时间代码显示为 6:27。
They would only finish two and a half hours later, and almost all of which time my father spent on his knees turning the doorknob screw around and around, for the most part, in the same continuous direction.
两个半小时后他们才完成，几乎所有的时间我父亲都跪着转动门把手螺丝，大部分时间都是在同一个连续的方向上。
Just a minute.
请等一下。
Uncle Lou He's taking pictures with the thing.
楼河叔叔正在和那个东西拍照。
I'm going to go down and get-- Johnny, please, excuse me.
我要下去找——约翰尼，请原谅。
The other guests sing more songs, try on clothes, exchange recipes, take third and fourth helpings of dessert.
其他客人唱更多的歌曲，试穿衣服，交换食谱，吃第三份和第四份甜点。
And through all of it, my dad turning and turning like a Jewish Lady Macbeth, one who's abandoned murder for home repair.
在这一切过程中，我父亲像犹太麦克白夫人一样转来转去，一个为了修理房屋而放弃谋杀的人。
At some point, people start to funnel out the door to go home.
在某些时候，人们开始涌出家门回家。
Lou, good night.
卢，晚安。
Female Relative 4 Good night.
女亲戚4 晚安。
They shuffle around his kneeling body and say goodbye, like none of this is at all strange.
他们绕着他跪着的身体慢慢走来，道别，好像这一切一点也不奇怪。
My father does not look up, still hypnotized by the turning of the screw.
我父亲没有抬头，仍然被螺丝的转动所催眠。
When I try to tear him away from the job, he tells me he can't help it.
当我试图让他放弃这份工作时，他告诉我他无能为力。
It's an emergency.
是紧急状况。
Is that turning?
那是转弯吗？
That's OK.
没关系。
That's turning.
这就是转折。
So I thought this was the end of the whole thing.
所以我想这就是整个事情的结局了。
But having not seen the tape in over 10 years, I've forgotten that I also videoed the second night of Rosh Hashanah.
但我已经十多年没有看过这段录像了，我忘记了我还录制了犹太新年的第二天晚上。
So I keep watching, and then I see something that I have absolutely no memory of whatsoever.
所以我继续看，然后我看到了一些我完全不记得的东西。
Sitting at the dining room table, sandwiched between my sister and grandmother, is this entire British family.
坐在餐桌旁，夹在姐姐和祖母之间的是整个英国家庭。
I brush it, and I put in big, big rollers.
我刷它，然后放入很大很大的滚筒。
There's an older Englishman, well-groomed and proper, sitting there sipping wine and actually sporting an ascot.
有一个年长的英国人，穿着整齐，举止得体，坐在那里喝着酒，实际上还戴着马甲。
There's his wife, an animated woman who chain smokes Virginia Slims, and their daughter, a woman who actually tells anecdotes about current events and expresses genuine interest in my video making.
他的妻子是一位充满活力的女人，她连续抽弗吉尼亚斯利姆烟，还有他们的女儿，她会讲述时事轶事，并对我的视频制作表现出真正的兴趣。
Well, I know my father, what he did was he had a lot of eight-millimeter old movies from where I was growing up.
嗯，我了解我的父亲，他所做的就是他有很多我长大的地方的八毫米老电影。
It's like they wandered off the set of a different home movie and into ours.
就像他们从另一部家庭电影的片场走进我们的片场一样。
And the strangest part of the whole thing is that everyone's acting like nothing unusual is going on.
整件事中最奇怪的部分是每个人都表现得好像没有什么异常的事情发生一样。
Do you drink tea or coffee?
你喝茶还是咖啡？
Jonathan Goldstein Tea.
乔纳森·戈德斯坦茶。
As well as drinking tea, we drink amaretto, and everyone is bumming cigarettes off the old British woman.
除了喝茶，我们还喝苦杏酒，每个人都在抽烟。
All of a sudden, we're all having a grand time.
突然间，我们都玩得很开心。
Even my grandfather is.
甚至我的祖父也是。
Instead of sitting in the basement, he's asking genial questions like:
他没有坐在地下室，而是提出了一些友善的问题，例如：
It turns out the British family were my Uncle Melvin's in-laws, who were in from out of town.
原来英国一家人是我叔叔梅尔文的姻亲，他们是从外地来的。
The evening plays out like that old Disney movie, Song of the South .
夜晚的气氛就像迪士尼的老电影《南方之歌》一样。
The British are what appear to be real normal people, and my family are like the cartoon bluebirds fluttering around them, trying in earnest to keep them entertained.
英国人看起来是真正的普通人，而我的家人就像卡通蓝知更鸟在他们周围振翅飞翔，认真地努力让他们开心。
I use one [?
我用一个[?
schmuck ?] per week.
笨蛋？]每周。
Last year, I used to use 10 a day.
去年我每天用10个。
I don't remember filming this, but I'm certain I identified with the normal people, not with the cartoon birds.
我不记得拍摄过这个，但我确信我认同普通人，而不是卡通鸟。
I remember looking through the camera at my family and feeling like I was a million miles away, like I was looking into the large end of a telescope.
我记得通过相机看着我的家人，感觉就像在一百万英里之外，就像我正在观察望远镜的大端一样。
It made me feel like less a part of them, like more of just an observer.
这让我感觉自己不再是他们的一部分，而更像是一个观察者。
But then there's one moment near the end of the night, where I hand the video camera over to my grandmother, a total old-country technophobe, so she could film me.
但在晚上快结束的时候，我把摄像机交给了我的祖母，她是一个彻底的老国家技术恐惧者，这样她就可以拍摄我了。
Now you're filming me, right now.
现在你正在拍摄我，现在。
You see?
你看？
I have to close-- Jonathan Goldstein And when you want to stop it, you press the red button again.
我必须关闭——乔纳森·戈德斯坦 当你想停止它时，你再次按下红色按钮。
And there I am, moving around with my tapered pants, jelly bracelets, and long moussed-up '80s hair, which, in retrospect, actually looked a lot like my mother's perm.
我就在那里，带着锥形裤、果冻手镯和 80 年代的长发走来走去，回想起来，这实际上很像我母亲的烫发。
Watching the video, I see the way my grandfather gritted his teeth when he stretched, or how he did this thing with his shoulders when he drank something that was too hot, and it's just the way I do it.
观看视频时，我看到祖父在伸展身体时咬紧牙关的方式，或者当他喝了太热的东西时他如何用肩膀做这件事，而这就是我做的方式。
Here I am, comparing wrist size with my father.
我在这里和我父亲比较手腕的尺寸。
Look at this.
看看这个。
It runs in the family maybe.
也许是家族遗传吧。
Oh, no, you've got a very thick wrist.
哦，不，你的手腕很粗。
That's a thick wrist.
这手腕好粗啊
I think on Mommy's side of the family, we have thin wrists.
我认为妈妈这边的家人，我们的手腕都很细。
I told you, I've got very thin wrists.
我告诉过你，我的手腕很细。
Posed against the British family or any other family since, there's no question as to what family I belong to.
与英国家庭或任何其他家庭相比，毫无疑问我属于哪个家庭。
He's funny, Jackie Mason.
他很有趣，杰基·梅森。
I'm not nuts about the show though.
不过我对这个节目并不着迷。
Me neither.
我也不。
I got news for you.
我有消息要告诉你。
Father But he's not Jackie Mason.
父亲 但他不是杰基·梅森。
I don't like him and-- Father Jackie Mason is--
我不喜欢他，而且——杰基·梅森神父是——
Jonathan Goldstein is the host of the radio show Wiretap on the CBC and the author of the book Ladies And Gentlemen, The Bible!
乔纳森·戈尔茨坦 (Jonathan Goldstein) 是加拿大广播公司 (CBC) 广播节目《窃听》(Wiretap) 的主持人，也是《女士们先生们，圣经》一书的作者。
[MUSIC - "YOU TALK TO MUCH" BY RUN-DMC]
[音乐 - RUN-DMC 的《你说得很多》]
Act Two, The Kids Stay In The Picture.
第二幕，孩子们留在画面中。
If children ran Hollywood, what sort of films would they make?
如果孩子们掌管好莱坞，他们会拍什么类型的电影？
Well, because of video cameras, we can actually answer that question.
好吧，由于有了摄像机，我们实际上可以回答这个问题。
There are 11-year-old auteurs.
有11岁的导演。
When he was a little kid, Darren Stein organized the kids on a little suburban cul-de-sac where he lived in Encino, California to make movies.
当达伦·斯坦还是个小孩子的时候，他就组织孩子们在他居住的加利福尼亚州恩西诺郊区的一条小死胡同里拍电影。
They made dozens of films.
他们制作了数十部电影。
They shot all the time, over the course of years.
多年来，他们一直在射击。
Darren says that he remembers wanting to get control of the video camera and make a movie from the moment that his dad first brought a camera home.
达伦说，他记得从他父亲第一次把摄像机带回家的那一刻起，他就想控制摄像机并拍一部电影。
He was seven years old, and he quickly invented a film for everyone to do.
他七岁那年，很快就发明了一部电影供大家观看。
It was called Crazy News.
它被称为疯狂新闻。
And it was basically a newscast that was supposed to be crazy.
这基本上是一个应该很疯狂的新闻广播。
And my dad was filming it, because at the time, I was seven or eight years old.
我爸爸正在拍摄它，因为当时我七八岁。
So I wasn't allowed, nor could I probably hold the camera.
所以我不被允许，我也不能拿着相机。
Yeah.
是的。
We're in the den of the house.
我们在房子的书房里。
We're sitting on the couches.
我们坐在沙发上。
I had my neighborhood kids in a thing.
我让邻居的孩子们参与其中。
It was me, and my next-door neighbor, Justin Satinover, and his sister, Lisa Satinover.
这是我、我的隔壁邻居贾斯汀·萨蒂诺弗和他的妹妹丽莎·萨蒂诺弗。
My brother, Evan.
我的兄弟，埃文。
Evan was probably five.
埃文大概五岁。
He's three years younger than me.
他比我小三岁。
He's this tiny little kid wearing a little Batman shirt.
他是一个穿着蝙蝠侠小衬衫的小孩子。
And it begins with the camera on my brother, and he says:
镜头从我哥哥身上开始，他说：
Stop.
停下来。
Stop.
停止。
Darren Stein And first of all, Evan couldn't get his line right, so that took seven or eight times, which was incredibly frustrating to me.
达伦·斯坦（Darren Stein）首先，埃文（Evan）无法正确表达自己的台词，因此花了七八次，这对我来说非常令人沮丧。
Because I was very serious about these things.
因为我对这些事情非常认真。
[GIGGLING] Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
[咯咯笑]你们好，女士们先生们。
This-- I forgot.
这个——我忘了。
I was so frustrated.
我很沮丧。
Young Darren Stein Forget it.
年轻的达伦斯坦 算了。
Stop it.
停止吧。
Now say it, Evan.
现在说吧，埃文。
Young Darren Stein No. I don't want this, daddy.
年轻的达伦·斯坦因 不。我不想要这个，爸爸。
Hello, everybody.
大家好。
This is Crazy News.
这是疯狂的新闻。
And now weather.
现在天气。
And then it goes to me.
然后它就交给我了。
And finally, I'm thrilled because I get to talk.
最后，我很兴奋，因为我可以说话了。
Hello, my name is Darren Stein from Crazy News.
大家好，我是《疯狂新闻》的达伦·斯坦因。
Now, in Arizona, it is so cold, it is snowing.
现在，亚利桑那州下雪了，天气很冷。
Can you believe that?
你能相信吗？
It's hot in Arizona.
亚利桑那州很热。
So I was going on and on And I was saying this and that, and then the camera drifts away from me to this girl, Lisa.
所以我一直在说啊说啊，然后镜头从我身上移到了这个女孩身上，丽莎。
And she's sort of staring at the camera, looking at herself on TV, happy in that moment to have it on her.
她有点盯着镜头，看着电视上的自己，在那一刻她很高兴能戴上它。
And I just flipped out because it wasn't the way I had planned it.
我只是发疯了，因为这不是我计划的方式。
I'm not doing it.
我不做。
Forget it, God dang it.
算了，天哪。
No. Darren Stein I should have said the weather and the camera stayed on me for my whole spiel.
不，达伦·斯坦（Darren Stein），我应该说天气和摄像机在我的整个演讲中都在我身上。
And then I would have announced either Lisa or Justin, and the camera would have gone to them.
然后我会宣布丽莎或贾斯汀，然后镜头就会转向他们。
And Justin would do sports, and Lisa would do entertainment, like a real newscast.
贾斯汀会做运动，丽莎会做娱乐，比如真正的新闻广播。
When you watch this as an adult, whose side are you on?
当你作为一个成年人看到这一切时，你站在哪一边？
Because I have to say, everybody else in the room is just trying to have fun, and there you are, baby Cecil B.
因为我不得不说，房间里的其他人只是想玩得开心，而你就是，宝贝塞西尔 B。
DeMille.
德米尔.
I feel bad for my parents, more than anything.
我对我的父母感到难过，这比什么都重要。
And the other kids.
还有其他孩子。
A little embarrassing too.
也有点尴尬。
So at some point, you actually get your hands on the movie camera, when you're 10 or 11.
所以在某个时候，当你 10 岁或 11 岁的时候，你就会真正接触到电影摄影机。
And you start filming all the time, right?
然后你就一直开始拍摄，对吧？
Yeah, just filming stuff.
是的，只是拍一些东西。
When my parents would go out, we were trapped on this cul-de-sac in the hills of Encino.
当我父母外出时，我们被困在恩西诺山上的这条死胡同里。
So we were sort of shipwrecked up there.
所以我们在那里遇到了船难。
And we had nothing else to do.
我们也无事可做。
It was sort of like, what do we do now?
有点像，我们现在该怎么办？
Let's make a movie.
我们拍一部电影吧。
Mark Entous's backyard was this big, verdant, green lawn.
马克·恩图斯的后院就是这片大而青翠的草坪。
And we'd go back there for the jungle films or for the adventure, Indiana Jones -type movies.
我们会回到那里看丛林电影或冒险片，印第安纳琼斯类型的电影。
Michael's house-- or in front of it, there was this canyon that was really dry.
迈克尔的房子——或者说在它的前面，有一条非常干燥的峡谷。
So we'd use that for the Vietnam movies.
所以我们会用它来拍摄越南电影。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
Ira Glass They did a Holocaust film when he was 11.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 11 岁时，他们拍摄了一部大屠杀电影。
They did a film about the day after a nuclear war.
他们制作了一部关于核战争后第二天的电影。
In these early films, the high concepts were just excuses so that the main characters can run around and try to kill each other.
在这些早期的电影中，高深的概念只是借口，让主角们可以到处乱跑，试图互相残杀。
There are a lot of gratuitous ninja moves.
有很多无端的忍者动作。
There's the prerequisite ketchup-as-gore.
这是番茄酱作为戈尔的先决条件。
Because Darren was three years older than anybody on the street, it was easy for him to call the shots.
因为达伦比街上任何人都大三岁，所以他很容易发号施令。
This is Adam Schell, who lived on the cul-de-sac and appears in lots of the movies.
这是亚当·谢尔（Adam Schell），他住在死胡同里，出现在很多电影中。
Darren was always the one that everybody looked up to.
达伦一直是每个人都尊敬的人。
Basically, whatever Darren said, went.
基本上，达伦说什么就说什么。
Action.
行动。
Camera rolling.
相机滚动。
Cut.
切。
Ira Glass And what would it mean to be in one of these films?
Ira Glass 出演这些电影意味着什么？
What would it mean to get a big part in one of these films?
在其中一部电影中担任重要角色意味着什么？
To me, it was the world.
对我来说，那就是世界。
To me, it meant everything.
对我来说，这意味着一切。
It was the most exciting, the most cool thing that we did as kids.
这是我们小时候做过的最令人兴奋、最酷的事情。
And would kids vie for parts in the films?
孩子们会争夺电影中的角色吗？
Totally.
完全。
I would actually offer the part to one kid, and then decide I didn't want him anymore, offer it to somebody else, and create little dramas behind the scenes.
我实际上会把这个角色提供给一个孩子，然后决定不再需要他，将其提供给其他人，并在幕后创作小戏剧。
As we got older, I think when Darren was in high school and he made a couple of films through his high school drama program, there was more of an auditioning process.
随着我们年龄的增长，我想当达伦在高中时，他通过高中戏剧项目拍了几部电影，有更多的试镜过程。
The first film he made there was Song From Below .
他在那里拍摄的第一部电影是《地下之歌》。
I remember auditioning for that.
我记得我曾为此试镜。
And I remember Darren giving me the part for that film.
我记得达伦给了我那部电影的角色。
And I remember I just felt so cool.
我记得我感觉很酷。
And then I remember when he took it away from me, and he gave it to Michael.
然后我记得他把它从我手中拿走，然后交给了迈克尔。
And I don't remember what his reasoning for it was.
我不记得他这样做的理由是什么。
In fact, I think he didn't have a specific reasoning.
事实上，我认为他并没有具体的理由。
I think he was just like, oh, I'm just going to take it away from you and give it to Michael because I can.
我想他只是想，哦，我要把它从你手中夺走，交给迈克尔，因为我可以。
And I remember going home and sitting on my bed and crying.
我记得回家后坐在床上哭泣。
It was just utter, crushing defeat.
这简直就是彻底的惨败。
You know what it's like, though?
但你知道那是什么样子吗？
It's like, a little kid decides to become a director.
就像，一个小孩子决定成为一名导演。
And then, not only do they have films to show for it, but their personality becomes like a movie director gone power crazy.
然后，他们不仅有电影可以展示，而且他们的个性也变得像一个疯狂的电影导演。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah, absolutely.
是的，绝对是。
And it was a total miniature Hollywood.
这完全就是一个微型的好莱坞。
That's what it was like on our street.
我们街上的情况就是这样。
And Darren loved that power, and he maintained it the entire time.
达伦热爱这种力量，并且一直保持着这种力量。
And he had the power to make you a star, and he had the power to crush you.
他有能力让你成为明星，也有能力碾压你。
And the fact that we wanted it so bad, as well--
事实上我们也非常想要它——
Exactly.
正是如此。
It's just like the real Hollywood.
这就像真正的好莱坞一样。
When you look back on that, do you feel a little embarrassed?
当你回想起来的时候，你是否感到有些尴尬？
I feel totally embarrassed about that.
我对此感到非常尴尬。
It was just, I guess, my way of controlling the situation and having fun.
我想，这只是我控制局势和享受乐趣的方式。
And kids are cruel.
而且孩子们很残忍。
It was part of that power thing.
这是权力的一部分。
As soon as that camera came out, everybody just crumbled in front of it and did whatever Darren behind the camera ordered us to do.
摄像机一出来，每个人都在它面前崩溃了，做摄像机后面的达伦命令我们做的事情。
There's some really intense videos that we made as kids.
我们小时候制作了一些非常激烈的视频。
What are you thinking about?
你在想什么？
Adam Schell Well, I mean, I think there's some-- like the Gay as a Whistle film, for example, where Darren puts Allen, who is now openly gay, but at the time, Allen probably knew somewhere in his head, but he wasn't admitting it to the world.
亚当·谢尔：嗯，我的意思是，我认为有一些——例如《口哨的同性恋》电影，达伦把艾伦放在其中，他现在是公开的同性恋，但当时，艾伦可能在他的头脑中知道某个地方，但他没有向世界承认这一点。
And Darren sees this thing in Allen, and maybe it's because they had some sort of underlying communication between the two of them.
达伦在艾伦身上看到了这一点，也许是因为他们两人之间有某种潜在的沟通。
But he takes that, and he makes a movie about it, and he exploits this thing about Allen that he didn't want anybody in the world to know.
但他接受了这一点，他拍了一部关于它的电影，他利用了艾伦的这一点，他不想让世界上任何人知道。
I think I was 12 years old when I made that film.
我想我拍那部电影时才 12 岁。
Gay as a Whistle is about a gay guy who has a coin in this little jewelry case.
《Gay as a Whistle》讲述了一个同性恋者在这个小珠宝盒里放了一枚硬币的故事。
And when he shows you the coin, you turn gay basically.
当他向你展示硬币时，你基本上就变成了同性恋。
And this is back in the '80s when aerobics was big, and so our moms all wore leotards.
那是在 80 年代，当时有氧运动很盛行，所以我们的妈妈们都穿着紧身衣。
And I thought, how cool would it be to put Allen in a leotard?
我想，让艾伦穿上紧身衣该有多酷？
Right.
正确的。
So he's wearing this leotard with lip marks all over it.
所以他穿着这件带有唇印的紧身衣。
Exactly.
确切地。
And the film starts out with him sitting in a rocking chair, looking very gay, rocking back and forth.
电影一开始，他坐在摇椅上，看起来很快乐，前后摇晃着。
And the camera is right on him.
而且摄像机正对着他。
And he turns in to the camera and goes, "Hi, my name is Ramon.
他转向镜头说道：“嗨，我的名字是拉蒙。
And I've got a little secret for you.
我有一个小秘密要告诉你。
I'm as gay as a whistle."
我就像口哨一样快乐。”
Hi, my name is Ramon.
嗨，我叫拉蒙。
And I've got a little secret for you.
我有一个小秘密要告诉你。
I'm as gay as a whistle.
我就像口哨一样快乐。
I've got this coin here that will make anyone gay when they look at it.
我这里有一枚硬币，任何人看到它都会变得同性恋。
Here comes the football team.
足球队来了。
And basically, we have the football team coming up, and the baseball coach coming up.
基本上，我们有橄榄球队和棒球教练。
And at first, they see the gay guy, and they're like, ew, it's the gay guy.
一开始，他们看到那个同性恋者，他们就想，呃，这就是那个同性恋者。
Let's beat him up.
我们来打败他吧。
And then he opens the coin.
然后他打开硬币。
And they're like, "Ooh, I'm gay."
他们就像，“哦，我是同性恋。”
Oh, it's the gay guy.
噢，是那个同性恋者。
Shouldn't we beat him up?
我们不应该打他吗？
Yeah, come on.
是的，来吧。
Allen Wait.
艾伦等等。
Look at my coin.
看看我的硬币。
Oh my God.
我的天啊。
Roses, bouquets, flowers.
玫瑰，花束，鲜花。
Oh, my God.
我的天啊。
Roses.
玫瑰。
One of the things I think is so funny about Gay as a Whistle is that as soon as the boys are turned into gay, the way that they express it is that they yell the words, "Roses."
我认为《同性恋作为口哨》最有趣的一件事是，一旦男孩们变成同性恋，他们表达的方式就是大喊“玫瑰”。
And did you feel like the film was about you?
你觉得这部电影是关于你的吗？
Or was it even that conscious?
或者它甚至有那么有意识吗？
It was not that conscious.
它没有那么有意识。
Ira Glass Did you think of yourself as gay back then?
Ira Glass 你当时认为自己是同性恋吗？
No, I wouldn't admit that I was.
不，我不会承认我是。
But I think I knew I was.
但我想我知道我是。
But I would never, ever admit it to anyone.
但我永远不会向任何人承认这一点。
Is this the end of the world?
这是世界末日吗？
What would happen if this happened to the president?
如果这种事发生在总统身上会怎样？
Will the world turn out gay?
世界会变成同性恋吗？
Stay tuned next week when Darren Stein Productions present:
请继续关注下周 Darren Stein Productions 的演出：
What weird about it is that it's simultaneously gay-loving and homophobic at the same time.
奇怪的是，它同时热爱同性恋和仇视同性恋。
Well, because that's how kids are.
嗯，因为孩子就是这样。
I think that's how young gay kids are because you love yourself, but you hate yourself at the same time.
我认为年轻的同性恋孩子就是这样，因为你爱自己，但同时又恨自己。
What better way not to be gay than to make fun of them and to demonize them?
还有什么比取笑和妖魔化同性恋更好的方式来避免成为同性恋呢？
I remember-- it's actually funny.
我记得——这实际上很有趣。
If you watch it, at the very end, Evan and I come up.
如果你看的话，在最后，埃文和我出现了。
We're on the football team.
我们是足球队的一员。
And Allen turns us gay with the thing, and then we skip off together.
艾伦用这件事让我们变得快乐，然后我们一起跳走了。
And I remember you see me grab Evan and hug him.
我记得你看到我抓住埃文并拥抱他。
And I remember everybody else teasing me about that constantly, being like, oh, you must be gay because look what you did there.
我记得其他人不断地取笑我，就像，哦，你一定是同性恋，因为看看你在那里做了什么。
Look what you did.
看看你做了什么。
And to me, I was like, I'm playing the part.
对我来说，我就像，我正在扮演这个角色。
That's what I was supposed to do.
这就是我应该做的。
I am an actor.
我是一名演员。
Adam Schell Exactly.
亚当·谢尔 没错。
I'm an actor.
我是一名演员。
I'm playing the part.
我正在扮演这个角色。
I'm getting into this role.
我正在进入这个角色。
And I don't think there was ever a moment when somebody wasn't being picked on, whether it was Michael, me, Evan, Mark.
我认为任何时候都会有人被欺负，无论是迈克尔、我、埃文还是马克。
I noticed you don't list Darren in that little list.
我注意到你没有把达伦列在那个小名单里。
Darren was never picked on.
达伦从来没有被欺负过。
Darren was always the one doing the picking.
达伦总是负责挑选的人。
Because if he started picking on somebody else, then he was safe.
因为如果他开始欺负别人，那么他就安全了。
You also made a musical called I Have No Friends .
你还制作了一部音乐剧《我没有朋友》。
Yeah.
是的。
I went to an all boys junior high/high school.
我上的是一所男子初中/高中。
And these kids just did not know what to make of me.
这些孩子就是不知道该怎么看待我。
And I got made fun of a lot.
我也被很多人取笑。
And you had no friends?
而你却没有朋友？
Darren Stein You have to understand something.
达伦·斯坦 你必须明白一些事情。
When I was in sixth grade at this public school, I was president of my class.
当我在这所公立学校读六年级时，我担任班长。
I was just used to being really loved by people and popular.
我只是习惯了被人们真正喜爱和受欢迎。
And so suddenly, I wasn't anymore.
突然之间，我不再是了。
Right, and everybody hit adolescence.
是的，每个人都会进入青春期。
And you're the gay-seeming kid.
而你就是那个看起来是同性恋的孩子。
Yeah, and I was completely gay and awkward and chunky and acne, and it was the whole-- and so the street was completely my escape from that all.
是的，我完全是个同性恋，笨拙，矮胖，长着粉刺，这就是全部——所以这条街完全是我逃离这一切的地方。
It was my insulated world where I called the shots.
这是我的孤立世界，我发号施令。
But I Have No Friends was never consciously about me when I made that.
但当我创作《我没有朋友》时，从来没有有意识地关注过我。
[SINGING] I have no friends.
[唱歌]我没有朋友。
Every day at school I sit alone at lunch.
每天在学校我都独自坐着吃午饭。
I have no friends.
我没有朋友。
Darren didn't have friends.
达伦没有朋友。
I think, as long as I can remember, Darren maybe had three or four friends throughout most of high school and junior high.
我想，从我记事起，达伦在高中和初中的大部分时间里可能有三四个朋友。
Outside the group, you mean.
你是说，在团体之外。
Adam Schell Yeah, outside the group.
Adam Schell 是的，在团体之外。
[SINGING] I have no friends.
[唱歌]我没有朋友。
I have no friends.
我没有朋友。
You've, as an adult, made two feature films, one called Jawbreaker, one called Sparkler.
作为一个成年人，你拍了两部故事片，一部叫《Jawbreaker》，一部叫《Sparkler》。
Did you feel that you had more freedom to express yourself when you were 11 and 12 making movies?
当你11岁和12岁拍电影时，你是否觉得自己有更多的自由来表达自己？
Unquestionably.
毫无疑问。
When you're a kid, it comes straight from your id onto the film.
当你还是个孩子的时候，它会直接从你的身份进入电影。
Darren Stein and Adam Schell have collected their own movies and created a documentary about them called Put the Camera On Me .
达伦·斯坦因和亚当·谢尔收集了他们自己的电影，并制作了一部关于他们的纪录片，名为《把相机放在我身上》。
It's available on DVD.
它有 DVD 版本。
Coming up, when America just leaves the camera running, what does it see?
接下来，当美国让摄像机保持运转时，它会看到什么？
And a Hollywood teen movie plot comes to a home movie.
好莱坞青少年电影的情节也出现在家庭电影中。
That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio and Public Radio International when our program continues.
一分钟后，芝加哥公共广播电台和国际公共广播电台将继续我们的节目。
It's This American Life.
这就是美国生活。
I'm Ira Glass.
我是艾拉·格拉斯。
Each week on our program, of course, we choose some theme and bring you a variety of different kinds of stories on that theme.
当然，每周我们的节目都会选择一些主题，并为您带来有关该主题的各种不同类型的故事。
Today's program, home movies and the stories they tell, intentionally and unintentionally.
今天的节目，家庭电影和他们有意无意地讲述的故事。
We've arrived at Act Three of our program.
我们已经到了节目的第三幕了。
Back when home movies were actually movies, real movies on real film, they were expensive to make.
当家庭电影实际上还是电影、真正的胶片上的真正的电影时，它们的制作成本很高。
The cameras were hard to use.
相机很难使用。
You actually had to know how to work a camera pretty well.
实际上，您必须非常了解如何使用相机。
You'd run out of film in just three minutes.
胶卷在三分钟之内就用完了。
So most people really did restrict themselves to filming celebrations, babies, and vacations.
所以大多数人确实限制自己只拍摄庆祝活动、婴儿和假期。
But now that video cameras and videotape are so cheap, relatively speaking, people just leave the camera running for hours.
但相对而言，现在摄像机和录像带如此便宜，人们只是让摄像机运行几个小时。
And nobody knows this better than the producers of America's Funniest Home Videos, which has an archive of half a million video clips.
没有人比美国最有趣的家庭视频的制作人更了解这一点，该视频拥有 50 万个视频剪辑的档案。
Todd Thicke is the co-executive producer of the show.
托德·西克是该剧的联合执行制片人。
Trace Beaulieu and Mike Palleschi have been writers on the program.
Trace Beaulieu 和 Mike Palleschi 是该节目的编剧。
They each watch hundreds of home video clips each week.
他们每人每周观看数百个家庭视频片段。
They say that they have seen video where people just set up a tripod and film themselves watching TV.
他们说，他们看过视频，人们只是架起三脚架，拍摄自己看电视的样子。
They have no idea why.
他们不知道为什么。
A lot of kids on stage.
舞台上有很多孩子。
Mike Palleschi People golfing because they want to get their swing down.
迈克·帕莱斯奇 人们打高尔夫球是因为他们想要降低挥杆速度。
So that's why we have a million people losing their drivers.
这就是为什么我们有一百万人失去了司机。
And we also see a Little League baseball game.
我们还观看了少年棒球联盟比赛。
We get a lot of the kid walking off the field saying, I gotta go pee, Mommy, and stuff like that.
很多孩子离开球场时都会说，妈妈，我要去尿尿，诸如此类的话。
Then kids sleeping on toilets.
然后孩子们睡在厕所上。
Parents universally think their child sleeping on the toilet is funny.
父母普遍认为他们的孩子睡在马桶上很有趣。
And when somebody has a video of, for example-- I've seen videos on the show of somebody trying to change a lightbulb and then a mishap happening.
例如，当有人播放一段视频时，我在节目中看到有人试图更换灯泡，然后发生了意外。
How do you explain the fact that they're filming the changing of a light bulb?
你如何解释他们正在拍摄灯泡变化的事实？
They don't lead very interesting lives?
他们的生活不是很有趣吗？
That's a highlight?
这就是亮点？
Trace, why did they tape themselves changing a lightbulb?
Trace，为什么他们要把自己换灯泡的过程用胶带粘住？
Because they don't have kids and their cat is boring.
因为他们没有孩子，而且他们的猫很无聊。
And they got a camera.
他们有一台相机。
Ira Glass And is it your impression that there are a lot of people out there filming all the time?
Ira Glass：你的印象是一直有很多人在外面拍摄吗？
I think that that is fairly prevalent out there.
我认为这在外面相当普遍。
I think if people have cameras, they're shooting stuff.
我认为如果人们有相机，他们就会拍摄东西。
We sometimes say, what are they shooting here?
我们有时会问，他们在这里拍什么？
What did they have the camera set up for?
他们设置相机的目的是什么？
Sometimes we've seen people videotaping their sheetrocking.
有时我们看到人们录下他们的石膏板。
It's like, why are they taping this?
就像，他们为什么要录制这个？
And then someone will fall through a ceiling.
然后有人会从天花板上掉下来。
But you see one, and you go, OK, that's an anomaly.
但你看到一个，然后你就会想，好吧，这是一个异常现象。
And then you see 20 guys taping themselves sheetrocking.
然后你会看到 20 个家伙用胶带把自己贴在石膏板上。
I think you tape what you got.
我想你把你得到的东西录了下来。
If that's your life and that's what you do-- if you're Cameron Diaz, you're at a premier.
如果这就是你的生活，这就是你所做的——如果你是卡梅隆·迪亚兹，那么你就处于巅峰。
And if you're sheetrocking--
如果你正在玩石膏板——
There was a guy, yesterday, pulling his cactus out alongside of the pool.
昨天，有一个人把他的仙人掌从泳池边拔了出来。
And then he fell into the pool.
然后他就掉进了水池里。
We thought, did he set that up?
我们想，这是他安排的吗？
Set up.
设置。
Mike Palleschi Or did they really say, we've got to go film Dad taking the cactus out?
迈克·帕莱斯基（Mike Palleschi） 或者他们真的说过，我们必须去拍摄爸爸把仙人掌拿出来的电影吗？
It was a set up.
这是一个设局。
We can spot the setups all the time.
我们随时都能发现这些设置。
Aha.
啊哈。
Now, that's very interesting.
现在，这非常有趣。
What's the tip off that it's a set up?
这是一个设置的提示是什么？
What are the tricks?
有什么技巧呢？
How can you tell?
你怎么知道？
Camera placement is a big tip off.
相机的放置是一个很大的提示。
They have the shot.
他们有机会。
Normally, they don't get the shot.
通常情况下，他们不会被击中。
The camera's moving around, and they miss the birthday cake burning someone.
镜头四处移动，他们错过了烧焦某人的生日蛋糕。
Yeah.
是的。
Usually when the moment happens, when you're taping something and something happens, you drop the camera, just for a split second or something, or you take your eye off it, and the shot jerks away.
通常，当这个时刻发生时，当你正在录制某些东西并且发生了一些事情时，你会放下相机，只是一瞬间或其他什么，或者你将你的眼睛从它身上移开，镜头就会猛然消失。
But if you hold that shot steady, there was no surprise to you.
但如果你保持稳定的射击，你就不会感到惊讶。
I think it's an involuntary reaction.
我认为这是一种不自觉的反应。
But not enough to help anyone.
但还不足以帮助任何人。
Does everybody's family seem the same, when you watch one of these videos after another?
当您观看这些视频一个又一个时，每个人的家庭是否看起来都一样？
Yes and no. I mean, you see at the weddings when they pass the camera around and the microphone, and people say things into the camera, we find rich, poor, black, or white, there's always the person who puts the microphone up to their ear like a telephone.
是和不是。我的意思是，你在婚礼上看到，当他们传递摄像机和麦克风时，人们对着摄像机说话，我们发现富人、穷人、黑人或白人，总是有人把麦克风像电话一样放在耳边。
Or we had an old lady take the microphone and said, I'll have the chicken.
或者我们让一位老太太拿着麦克风说，我要鸡肉。
It seems like, no matter what you are, there's always that person at your wedding.
似乎无论你是什么样的人，你的婚礼上总会有那个人。
Who will make that joke.
谁会开这种玩笑。
Mike Palleschi And every wedding has that one guy who really can't dance.
Mike Palleschi 每场婚礼都会有一个不会跳舞的人。
But around the kitchen and the den when they're hanging out with the kids playing on the floor, everybody seems like, it's a nice country out there.
但当他们和孩子们在地板上玩耍时，在厨房和书房周围，每个人似乎都觉得，这是一个美好的国家。
Doesn't most of it seem-- in people's homes?
难道大部分不是在人们家里吗？
I don't.
我不知道。
But I did just get engaged.
但我确实刚刚订婚。
And I've seen more weddings, I think, than anybody.
我想，我见过的婚礼比任何人都多。
And my fiance couldn't understand why I was so nervous.
我的未婚夫不明白我为什么这么紧张。
And I had to explain to her, well, after two years of watching people catch on fire, throw up at the altar, pass out, and all these horrible things, people letting the doves go, and they poop on the bride, I was little squeamish about a wedding in general.
我必须向她解释，嗯，两年来看着人们着火，在祭坛上呕吐，昏倒，以及所有这些可怕的事情，人们放走了鸽子，它们在新娘身上拉屎，我对一般的婚礼有点拘谨。
Right.
正确的。
A wedding just seems like a series of possible accidents waiting to happen.
一场婚礼似乎就像是一系列可能发生的事故。
Well, I've learned you don't to have open flame near the veils.
嗯，我知道你不要在面纱附近使用明火。
The father's pants.
父亲的裤子。
Mike Palleschi Yes, all the old men must have their belts securely fastened around their waists.
Mike Palleschi 是的，所有老人都必须将腰带牢牢地系在腰间。
And no comedy at the altar.
祭坛上没有喜剧。
We've seen a lot of guys who-- oh, I can't find the ring.
我们见过很多人——哦，我找不到戒指。
And then the UPS guy will run in the front.
然后 UPS 的人就会跑在前面。
They've made the most special moment of their life into a Lucy skit.
他们把一生中最特别的时刻变成了露西的短剧。
Mike Palleschi, Todd Thicke, and Trace Beaulieu of America's Funniest Home Videos .
美国最有趣的家庭视频的迈克·帕莱斯基、托德·西克和特雷斯·博利厄。
You can watch that TV show on the ABC television network Sunday nights at 7:00, 6:00 Central.
您可以在 ABC 电视网每周日晚上 7:00、6:00 Central 观看该电视节目。
That was such an official-sounding thing to say on the radio.
这句话在广播中听起来很官方。
I've never said anything like that in my life.
我一生中从未说过这样的话。
Well, Act Four.
好吧，第四幕。
The Cinema Of Upward Mobility.
向上流动的电影院。
The plot line of a home movie is usually more home than movie.
家庭电影的情节通常比电影更家庭。
These are not usually, as you may gather, the most cinematic stories being told.
正如您可能会想到的那样，这些通常不是最有电影感的故事。
When she was a teenager, Susan Burton tried to do something that you see many teenagers attempt in teen movies, and she actually pulled it off.
当她十几岁的时候，苏珊·伯顿尝试做一些你在青少年电影中看到的许多青少年尝试的事情，而她实际上成功了。
As luck would have it, the effort was caught on video, and we offer it here as a kind of alternative to the Hollywood version of the story.
幸运的是，这一努力被记录在视频中，我们在这里提供它作为好莱坞版本故事的替代方案。
Her family's videos, I should say, begin inauspiciously enough.
我应该说，她家人的视频一开始就很不吉利。
My dad videotaped a lot of things, all the typical stuff.
我爸爸录下了很多东西，都是典型的东西。
My little sister Betsy's preschool dance recital.
我妹妹贝特西的学前舞蹈表演。
My solo in the fourth grade spring choral concert.
我在四年级春季合唱音乐会上的独奏。
[SINGING] The hills are alive with the sound of music.
[歌声] 音乐声让群山充满生机。
Birthday dinners.
生日晚餐。
Father [SINGING] Happy birthday dear Susan.
父亲[唱歌]生日快乐亲爱的苏珊。
Happy birthday to you.
祝你生日快乐。
Holidays like Easter Sunday, when we hunted for eggs the Bunny hid on the first floor of our house.
像复活节这样的假期，当我们寻找鸡蛋时，兔子就躲在我们房子的一楼。
I found one in the bathroom.
我在浴室里找到了一个。
You know what?
你知道吗？
I found one in the bathroom.
我在浴室里找到了一个。
I just wanted to make sure you found an egg.
我只是想确保你找到了鸡蛋
I found an egg.
我发现了一个鸡蛋。
Until two weeks ago, I hadn't watched these videos for years.
直到两周前，我已经很多年没有看过这些视频了。
When I put them in the VCR, I couldn't believe that the world could exist like this again, that it could just pop up like a stage set, my parents still married, all of us together in our old house.
当我把它们放进录像机时，我不敢相信世界会再次像这样存在，它会像舞台布景一样突然出现，我的父母仍然结婚，我们所有人都在一起在我们的老房子里。
OK, why don't you guys all get next to Daddy?
好吧，你们为什么不都到爸爸身边去呢？
It's probably not good for me to be out in the dark, is it?
在黑暗中呆在外面对我来说可能不太好，是吗？
No, it's fine.
不，没关系。
Susan Burton When I was little and planning on becoming famous, I always used to imagine that my house would be turned into a museum of my life, an exact reproduction of my seat at the dining room table, the order of the dolls in a row on my cedar chest, the Ramona book marked at the place I'd stopped before going to bed.
苏珊·伯顿（Susan Burton） 当我还很小，打算成名时，我总是幻想我的房子会变成我生活的博物馆，一模一样的复制品，我在餐桌上的座位，我雪松柜上一排排的娃娃的顺序，雷蒙娜书在我睡觉前停过的地方标记。
Having these videos is like buying a ticket and opening our yellow front door and taking the tour.
拥有这些视频就像买票并打开我们的黄色前门并进行游览。
When so much of your childhood is documented, there are going to be moments you wish had been left out.
当你的童年经历被记录下来时，有些时刻你会希望被忽略。
For me, that moment is an entire era, middle school.
对我来说，那一刻就是整个时代，中学。
It begins with a hike up Baxter Mountain.
首先是徒步登上巴克斯特山。
OK, you guys ready for another Baxter Mountain trip?
好的，你们准备好再次进行巴克斯特山之旅了吗？
Every summer, my mom, my dad, Betsy, and I climbed Baxter together.
每年夏天，我的妈妈、爸爸、贝特西和我都会一起攀爬巴克斯特。
Baxter's a good hike for children.
巴克斯特对于孩子们来说是一次很好的徒步旅行。
It's 1.1 miles.
1.1 英里。
Susan Burton In this video, Betsy's seven years old.
苏珊·伯顿 (Susan Burton) 在这段视频中，贝特西七岁。
She's adorable.
她很可爱。
She skips up the trail.
她跳过小路。
She searches the trees for the soft, white semicircles of fungus we break off and take home as souvenirs of the hike.
她在树上寻找柔软的白色半圆形真菌，我们把它们折下来带回家作为徒步旅行的纪念品。
She throws up her tiny arms and beams at my father with giant, brown eyes.
她举起她的小手臂，用棕色的大眼睛微笑地看着我父亲。
She pipes up with little observations about nature.
她对自然的观察很少。
Oh, these are roots.
哦，这些是根。
They go down into the ground.
他们深入地下。
Let me see if I can find the taproot.
让我看看能否找到主根。
What is it called, Betsy?
它叫什么名字，贝特西？
Betsy Burton The taproot.
贝特西·伯顿 主根。
When the camera pans to me, it's a different story.
当镜头转向我时，情况就不同了。
Allow me to describe myself.
请允许我描述一下我自己。
I'm 11, almost 12.
我11岁了，快12岁了。
I'm wearing a rubber snake around my neck.
我脖子上戴着一条橡胶蛇。
My t-shirt has a row of teddy bears across the front.
我的 T 恤正面有一排泰迪熊。
Each bear holds a balloon with a letter on it, and together they spell the word "stickers." It is difficult to see my eyes, which are masked by enormous round glasses.
每只熊都拿着一个上面有字母的气球，他们一起拼出“贴纸”这个词。我的眼睛被巨大的圆形眼镜遮住，很难看清。
I look like an owl, like something from science.
我看起来像一只猫头鹰，就像来自科学的东西。
I look like what I was at the time, which is a nerd.
我看起来就像当时的我一样，是个书呆子。
I regale my family with nuggets from my repository of random nerd facts.
我用我的随机书呆子事实库中的金块来招待我的家人。
When my sister wonders if there are killer bees on Baxter Mountain, I'm ready with the answer.
当我姐姐想知道巴克斯特山上是否有杀人蜂时，我已经准备好了答案。
Not last summer, but the summer before, I checked out a book at the library.
不是去年夏天，而是前年夏天，我在图书馆借了一本书。
And it was all about these killer bees who were killing people.
这一切都是关于这些杀人蜂杀人的。
And then when I got back home to Grand Rapids, I read a story in the paper, and it said that there's killer bees in South America, and they should be coming up here in about five years or something.
然后当我回到大急流城的家时，我在报纸上读到一篇报道，上面说南美洲有杀人蜂，大约五年后它们就会来到这里。
And then it was 1983.
然后是 1983 年。
So they should be coming up about 1988.
所以他们应该在 1988 年左右出现。
Not long after the hike up Baxter, I started seventh grade at a new school in my Michigan hometown, Central Middle School.
爬上巴克斯特后不久，我在密歇根家乡的一所新学校中央中学开始了七年级。
I'd gone to my old school since I was three and loved it, and now that I was at Central Middle, I missed it like crazy.
我从三岁起就去了我原来的学校，并且很喜欢它，现在我在中央中学，我疯狂地想念它。
Longings for it would well up inside me every Thursday night, when the "Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name" song played before Cheers.
每个星期四晚上，当“有时你想去每个人都知道你名字的地方”这首歌在干杯之前播放时，我内心都会涌起对它的渴望。
But it wasn't long before everybody knew my name at Central Middle.
但没过多久，中央中学的每个人都知道了我的名字。
Around Halloween, we received our first report cards in homeroom.
万圣节前后，我们在班主任室收到了第一张成绩单。
My homeroom teacher was Mr. Bixler.
我的班主任是比克斯勒先生。
He taught earth science and had a fondness for puns.
他教授地球科学，并且喜欢双关语。
He liked to add fake names to the attendance slip, like Eileen Dover or Justin Case.
他喜欢在考勤单上添加假名字，比如艾琳·多佛（Eileen Dover）或贾斯汀·凯斯（Justin Case）。
Mr. Bixler shuffled through the pile of report cards on his desk.
比克斯勒先生翻阅着办公桌上的一堆成绩单。
Suddenly he held one up to the light, as if verifying its authenticity.
突然，他把一张举到灯光下，似乎在验证它的真实性。
"Susie Burton," he said.
“苏西·伯顿，”他说。
"Five A's and two A pluses."
“五个 A 和两个 A 加号。”
The boy in our homeroom with Tourette's Syndrome let out a series of profanities and yelps.
我们班上那个患有抽动秽语综合症的男孩发出了一系列脏话和叫喊。
I wanted to flee, but my desk was surrounded.
我想逃跑，但我的办公桌被包围了。
Kids were actually coming over to see my report card.
孩子们实际上过来查看我的成绩单。
"She even got an A in gym," one boy exclaimed.
“她甚至在体育课上得了A，”一个男孩惊呼道。
I'd gotten off on the wrong foot at Central Middle.
我在中环中学的表现就很糟糕。
I had blind enthusiasm for spelling bees, book bowls, and science olympiads.
我对拼字比赛、读书碗和科学奥林匹克有着盲目的热情。
I was the only girl in architectural drafting.
我是建筑绘图中唯一的女孩。
My other elective was called brain teasers.
我的另一门选修课叫做脑筋急转弯。
I did the wrong things, and I looked the wrong way too.
我做错了事，我也看错了方向。
I had a short curly perm that hadn't come out the way it was supposed to, braces on my top and bottom teeth, and weird clothes like culottes.
我烫了一个短卷发，但效果并不理想，上牙和下牙都戴着牙套，穿着裙裤等奇怪的衣服。
Everyone else at my school wore jeans and Reeboks.
我学校的其他人都穿着牛仔裤和锐步鞋。
I wasn't allowed to wear either.
我也不让穿。
I'd had one pair of jeans in my life.
我一生中就拥有过一条牛仔裤。
I was permitted to get them for a school play.
我被允许带它们去学校演出。
It was a one-act about a Michael Jackson concert, authored by a sixth grader at my old school.
这是一部关于迈克尔·杰克逊演唱会的独幕剧，由我原来学校的一名六年级学生创作。
At the store, my mother pulled out dark blue Lee jeans with pinstripes.
在商店里，妈妈拿出深蓝色的 Lee 细条纹牛仔裤。
She said that my father might like this pair.
她说我父亲可能会喜欢这双。
They resembled business suit pants.
它们类似于西装裤。
My parents didn't understand.
我的父母不理解。
My father said that the boys in architectural drafting teased me because they liked me, all 27 of them.
我父亲说建筑制图的男孩们因为喜欢我而取笑我，他们一共 27 个。
My mother said middle school didn't matter, that college was where you met your real friends.
我妈妈说中学并不重要，大学才是你遇到真正朋友的地方。
I needed to improve.
我需要改进。
I needed a manual.
我需要一本手册。
So I got a subscription to Seventeen magazine.
所以我订阅了《十七》杂志。
Seventeen gave advice on a lot of things, like fresh face makeup that would let me shine through, and what I should do if I was better looking than my best friend.
十七给了我很多建议，比如让我焕发光彩的清新面部妆容，以及如果我比我最好的朋友更好看我应该怎么做。
But before I could apply any of it at Central Middle, my parents got divorced.
但在我能在中央中学申请任何这些之前，我的父母就离婚了。
My grandfather said it was because we all read at the dinner table.
我祖父说这是因为我们都在饭桌上读书。
I disagreed, but it didn't matter.
我不同意，但这并不重要。
We were selling our house, and my mom and Betsy and I were moving to Boulder, Colorado.
我们正在卖掉我们的房子，我妈妈、贝特西和我要搬到科罗拉多州博尔德。
My mother told me that she liked the idea of the west, of the frontier, of going there to make a fresh start.
我母亲告诉我，她喜欢西部、边疆，喜欢去那里重新开始。
I liked the idea too.
我也喜欢这个主意。
In the west, I would be popular.
在西方，我会很受欢迎。
I would reinvent myself.
我会重塑自己。
Nobody would know that back in Michigan, I'd been a nerd.
没有人会知道，在密歇根时，我曾是个书呆子。
And best yet, I would attend Fairview High School, where a junior named Holly had just won the Seventeen cover model contest.
最棒的是，我能就读锦绣高中，那里一位名叫霍莉的三年级学生刚刚赢得了十七岁封面模特大赛的冠军。
I had the issue upstairs in my room, carefully filed in a little library of teendom.
我把这本杂志放在楼上的房间里，仔细地归档在青少年的一个小图书馆里。
By now, I'd been a student of popularity for two years.
到现在为止，我已经成为受欢迎的学生两年了。
I did this with the intensity and seriousness with which I'd learned the migratory patterns of the killer bee.
我以学习杀人蜂迁徙模式时的强度和认真态度做到了这一点。
I had cassettes full of songs I'd taped off the radio.
我有一盒磁带，里面装满了我从收音机里录下来的歌曲。
I'd accumulated the right clothes.
我已经积累了合适的衣服。
I applied the scientific method to wardrobe selection.
我运用科学的方法来选择衣柜。
I typed up a list of my outfits on the Macintosh and posted it inside my closet.
我在麦金塔电脑上输入了我的服装清单，并将其贴在我的衣柜里。
The list only applied to weekdays, and I did not deviate from the order.
该列表仅适用于工作日，我并没有偏离顺序。
There were 16 outfits, so that there would always be an irregular beat built in, so that I wouldn't always wear Benetton rugby shirt on Mondays or the Guess overalls on Tuesday.
有 16 套服装，因此总会有内置的不规则节拍，这样我就不会总是在周一穿贝纳通橄榄球衬衫或在周二穿 Guess 工装裤。
The amazing thing is, the plan worked.
令人惊奇的是，计划奏效了。
We moved.
我们搬家了。
I was popular.
我很受欢迎。
It was the fresh start any nerd dreams of.
这是任何书呆子都梦想的新开始。
It was better than any article that had ever been in Seventeen.
这比《十七》中曾经发表过的任何文章都要好。
I had a group of friends.
我有一群朋友。
We all sat together every day at lunch on our jean jackets in a circle in the front courtyard.
每天午餐时，我们都穿着牛仔夹克，在前院围成一圈。
We French braided each other's hair.
我们法国人互相编辫子。
We traded clothes.
我们交换衣服。
We had slumber parties.
我们举办了睡衣派对。
On weekdays, we'd often ride bikes until just before dark.
工作日，我们经常骑自行车直到天黑前。
One time, we were riding to the grocery store to get ingredients for chocolate chip cookies, and my shoe fell off in the crosswalk.
有一次，我们骑车去杂货店买巧克力饼干的原料，我的鞋子在人行横道上掉了下来。
It became a famous story.
这成为了一个著名的故事。
There was a famous story about me.
关于我，有一个著名的故事。
The littlest things, things that probably didn't matter to anyone else, made me so happy.
最微小的事情，可能对其他人来说无关紧要的事情，让我如此高兴。
I saved any note anyone ever wrote to me in class.
我保存了课堂上任何人写给我的任何便条。
There was a girl in the house behind me named Shannon, and one night, we yelled to each other from our windows before we turned off our lights and went to bed.
我身后的房子里有一个叫香农的女孩，有一天晚上，我们在窗户上互相大喊大叫，然后关灯上床睡觉。
It had only happened that once, but I thought about it a lot.
虽然只发生过一次，但我却想了很多。
It was like something from a movie, like a dream life.
这就像电影里的场景，就像梦想的生活。
And there's video documentation of this too.
还有这方面的视频文档。
Susie?
苏西？
Hi.
你好。
What should we do?
我们应该做什么？
This is me on the telephone in Colorado.
这是我在科罗拉多州打电话。
Well, I don't know.
嗯，我不知道。
I heard a lot of people were going there, but remember what happened last night?
我听说很多人都去那里，但还记得昨晚发生了什么吗？
OK, well, should we do that?
好吧，我们应该这样做吗？
Well, I don't know.
嗯，我不知道。
OK, it's only, like, 7:30.
好吧，现在才 7:30。
So why don't we wait until, like, 8:00?
那么我们为什么不等到 8:00 呢？
And then we'll figure out something, OK?
然后我们会想出一些办法，好吗？
OK, should I call Lisa?
好吧，我应该给丽莎打电话吗？
In this video, I have long, straight, shiny blond hair.
在这段视频中，我有一头又长又直、闪亮的金发。
I have lip gloss, contact lenses, and perfect braceless teeth.
我有唇彩、隐形眼镜和完美的无牙套牙齿。
I talk on the phone so much my mother has subscribed to call waiting.
我经常打电话，我妈妈已经订阅了呼叫等待服务。
And then-- hold on a sec.
然后——等一下。
Hello?
你好？
Hello?
你好？
Oh, gosh, my call waiting signal just messed up.
哦，天哪，我的呼叫等待信号出了问题。
OK, but anyway, you can come over, and we'll braid my hair.
好吧，不过无论如何，你可以过来，我们给我编辫子。
OK?
好的？
And then we'll go down to Pearl Street, OK?
然后我们就去珍珠街，好吗？
OK, bye.
好的，再见。
The rules of being popular seemed easy to me.
对我来说，受欢迎的规则似乎很容易。
Anybody could have done it.
任何人都可以做到。
The main ones were, smile a lot.
主要的是，经常微笑。
Wear good clothes.
穿好衣服。
Giggle.
傻笑。
Be a little ditzy.
有点头晕。
I started remembering to forget my lunch.
我开始记得忘记吃午饭了。
But the main number one rule of being popular was, don't let anyone know you're smart.
但受欢迎的首要规则是，不要让任何人知道你很聪明。
On US Government quizzes, I answered questions wrong on purpose.
在美国政府测验中，我故意答错问题。
But the notes we passed in language arts provided me with a real opportunity to shine.
但我们在语言艺术中通过的笔记为我提供了真正的发光机会。
If my friend Joanna wrote, "Antigone sucks, and it's so cold.
如果我的朋友乔安娜写道：“安提戈涅很糟糕，而且太冷了。
I wish we didn't have to walk home today," I would write back, "I know.
我希望我们今天不必步行回家，”我会写道，“我知道。
I should of worn a sweater today." But I would spell "should've" like "should" and then the word "of," instead of the contraction for "should have." I'd continue, "Ms. C is totally on the rag today.
我今天应该穿一件毛衣。”但我会把“shouldve”拼写成“should”，然后拼写“of”，而不是“should have”的缩写。我会继续说，“C 女士今天彻底崩溃了。
She's bothering me alot." That's "alot," spelled as one word, no space.
她让我很烦恼。”这是“alot”，拼写为一个单词，没有空格。
Things were happening so naturally that I could almost convince myself that my life had always been this way.
事情发生得如此自然，我几乎可以说服自己，我的生活一直都是这样。
One Saturday night, a group of us went to see the movie, Can't Buy Me Love.
一个星期六的晚上，我们一群人去看电影《买不到我的爱》。
The movie's about a nerd who decides that his senior year of high school, he's going to become popular at last.
这部电影讲述了一个书呆子决定在高中最后一年，他终于要受欢迎的故事。
He pays the most beautiful girl in school to go out with him.
他付钱请学校里最漂亮的女孩和他出去。
It didn't even cross my mind to identify with the nerd.
我什至没有想到要认同这个书呆子。
I was in so deep that I identified with the pretty blonde cheerleader.
我陷得太深了，以至于我认同了那个漂亮的金发啦啦队长。
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
人生的日子就像沙漏里的沙子一样。
I'm Susan Burton and
我是苏珊·伯顿
Betsy Burton.
贝齐·伯顿。
Susan Burton And these are
苏珊·伯顿 这些是
The days of our lives.
我们一生的日子。
Susan Burton These last two weeks, watching video of myself from those days, I saw something that wasn't clear to me at the time.
苏珊·伯顿（Susan Burton） 在过去的两周里，我观看了自己当时的视频，我看到了一些当时我不太清楚的东西。
Here's a tape Betsy and I made for our dad for Father's Day, two years after we moved to Boulder.
这是贝特西和我在搬到博尔德两年后为父亲节制作的磁带。
We just wanted to make this video for you for Father's Day because we didn't want to get you a book, because we always do that.
我们只是想在父亲节为您制作这段视频，因为我们不想给您买一本书，因为我们总是这样做。
And this way you can look at us whenever you want to.
这样您就可以随时查看我们。
I look exactly right, studiously plain hair, silver bracelets, pretty clothes.
我看起来一模一样，朴素的头发，银手镯，漂亮的衣服。
But I'm still a nerd.
但我仍然是一个书呆子。
Here I am, explaining the music of the young people to my dad.
我在这里向我爸爸解释年轻人的音乐。
And then, oh, Depeche Mode.
然后，哦，Depeche Mode。
Here's some Depeche Mode.
这是一些 Depeche 模式。
I can't resist translating the name of the band.
我无法抗拒翻译乐队的名字。
Depeche means "hurried." Mode means "fashion." Hurried fashion.
Depeche 的意思是“匆忙”。 Mode的意思是“时尚”。匆忙的时尚。
Or dispatch fashion.
或者派遣时尚。
Yeah, it's dispatch.
是的，就是派遣。
Because it's not sous depeche.
因为这不是sous depeche。
In this video, what I see now is how hard I'm trying.
在这个视频中，我现在看到的是我有多么努力。
I've blowdried my hair and matched my socks to my shorts, even though it's a summer morning and we're just staying home.
我吹干了头发，把袜子和短裤搭配起来，尽管这是一个夏天的早晨，我们只是待在家里。
I'm sarcastic in a way I know is meant to mimic two of my friends from school.
我知道我的讽刺是为了模仿我学校里的两个朋友。
I make a show of talking about driver's permits, even though I was terrified of the day I'd eventually get behind the wheel.
我装模作样地谈论驾驶许可证，尽管我很害怕有一天我最终会开车。
The popular girl is in this video.
这位受欢迎的女孩就在这个视频中。
There's proof that she exists.
有证据证明她存在。
But it's clear that the killer bee girl is right inside her.
但很明显，杀人蜂女孩就在她体内。
OK, I think that'll end my instructional video.
好的，我想我的教学视频就到此结束。
As you can see, [UNINTELLIGIBLE] are better.
正如您所看到的，[无法理解] 更好。
I didn't change that much.
我没有改变那么多。
Ira Glass Susan Burton is a writer in New York City.
艾拉·格拉斯 (Ira Glass) 苏珊·伯顿 (Susan Burton) 是纽约市的一名作家。
[MUSIC - "NEW LIFE" BY DEPECHE MODE]
[音乐 - DEPECHE MODE 的“新生活”]
Act Five, Just Shoot Me.
第五幕，开枪打死我。
We end our program today with this story from David Sedaris, a story asking the simple question, why even bother to make home movies?
我们今天以大卫·塞达里斯的故事结束我们今天的节目，这个故事提出了一个简单的问题：为什么还要费心去制作家庭电影？
It was the day before Thanksgiving, and my mother and I were at the Raleigh airport waiting for my sister Gretchen to return from Rhode Island.
那是感恩节的前一天，我和妈妈在罗利机场等待姐姐格雷琴从罗德岛回来。
You could still smoke then, and so we sat beside the ashtray, passing the time as the plane rolled up to the gate.
那时你仍然可以抽烟，所以我们坐在烟灰缸旁边，在飞机驶向登机口时打发时间。
A young woman took a seat not far away, and when she pulled a camcorder from her knapsack, my mother groaned and prodded me with her elbow.
一位年轻女子在不远处坐下，当她从背包里拿出摄像机时，我母亲呻吟着，用肘部戳了我一下。
"Oh, God, here we go."
“噢，上帝，我们来了。”
The camera was new and sleek, and as she aimed it towards a doorway, my mother covered the side of her face.
相机又新又时尚，当她把它对准门口时，我母亲遮住了她的脸。
"They shouldn't allow people to walk around with things like that," she said.
“他们不应该允许人们带着这样的东西走来走去，”她说。
"I mean, really.
“我的意思是，真的。
There should be a law." Had the young woman been carrying a loaded rifle, my mother might have brushed it off.
应该有一条法律。”如果这位年轻女子携带的是一把上了膛的步枪，我母亲可能会不予理睬。
But she hated having her picture taken.
但她讨厌别人给她拍照。
"Whoever she's waiting for might have it coming, but what about us poor nobodies caught in the crossfire?
“无论她在等谁，都可能会到来，但我们这些陷入交火的可怜的无名小卒呢？
I don't want to be in some stranger's piss-poor movie," she said.
我不想出现在一些陌生人的烂电影中，”她说。
"I don't even want to be in my own."
“我什至不想成为我自己的人。”
The young woman overheard and looked our way with an expression reading, "Who would want to videotape you?" I smiled, and she left her seat to stand against a column.
年轻女子无意中听到了，用一种表情看着我们，“谁想给你录像？”我微笑着，她离开座位，靠着一根柱子站着。
"Why do people need to get everything on film?" my mother asked.
“为什么人们需要把一切都拍成电影？”我妈妈问。
"Are they that afraid they're going to forget something?
“他们就这么害怕自己会忘记什么吗？
And why do it here?
为什么要在这里做呢？
Can't it at least wait for the parking lot?" The exit door opened, and passengers stepped out into the terminal.
至少等一下停车场不行吗？”出口门打开，乘客走进航站楼。
The young woman started filming, and my mother scowled as complete strangers waved into the camera.
年轻女子开始拍摄，当完全陌生的人向镜头挥手时，我母亲皱起眉头。
We were well out of range, but still she kept her hand to the side of her face, looking as though she were talking about the person seated next to her.
我们已经远远超出了我们的范围，但她仍然把手放在脸的一侧，看起来好像在谈论坐在她旁边的人。
"Now, this is just ridiculous," she said.
“现在看来，这太荒谬了，”她说。
"I mean, what?
“我的意思是，什么？
Do you honestly think anyone's going to watch a thing like this?
你真的认为有人会看这样的事情吗？
What's the point in making a movie when all anyone is doing is stepping off a damn airplane?
当所有人所做的一切都是从一架该死的飞机上走下来时，拍电影还有什么意义呢？
It's not like it hasn't been done.
这并不是说还没有完成。
It's not like there are any surprises here, so why bother with the $800 camera?"
这里并没有什么惊喜，为什么还要花 800 美元的相机呢？”
My sister Gretchen stepped into the terminal and wondered why her mother was covering her face.
我的妹妹格雷琴走进航站楼，想知道为什么她的母亲遮住了脸。
"Do you have a toothache?" she asked.
“你牙痛吗？”她问道。
"Did somebody slap you?"
“有人打你了吗？”
There were more video cameras awaiting us at the baggage claim.
行李领取处还有更多摄像机在等着我们。
A grown man filmed a toddler pounding against the side of a suitcase.
一名成年男子拍摄了一名幼儿敲打手提箱侧面的镜头。
A teenage boy shot his father hoisting a golf bag.
一名十几岁的男孩开枪射杀了举起高尔夫球袋的父亲。
"I've got to get out of here," my mother said.
“我必须离开这里，”妈妈说。
And then she went outside to wait in the car.
然后她就到外面去车里等着。
Once, while at the beach, my father borrowed a movie camera and spent the afternoon following us around.
有一次，在海滩上，父亲借了一台电影摄影机，花了一个下午跟着我们到处转。
We were young then and excited by the thought of watching ourselves projected onto a bed sheet.
那时我们还年轻，一想到看到自己被投射到床单上就兴奋不已。
He shot us swimming and eating and piling on top of our mother who had tried in vain to escape.
他拍摄了我们游泳、吃东西、堆在我们试图逃跑但徒劳的母亲身上的镜头。
"This is going to be good," he said.
“这会很好，”他说。
"Come on, now.
“来吧，现在。
Pin her down, so I can get a good shot of her face."
把她按住，这样我就能拍到她脸部的好照片。”
My sister Lisa would later suggest that there had been no film in the camera, but I don't think our father had it in him to be that cruel.
我姐姐丽莎后来表示相机里没有胶卷，但我认为我们的父亲没有那么残忍。
Most likely, he set it aside, meaning to have it developed, but never quite finding the time.
最有可能的是，他把它放在一边，打算让它发展起来，但一直没有抽出时间。
Either that or our mother got to it first.
要么是我们的母亲先发现的。
She was good at destroying film.
她擅长毁胶卷。
After she died, we took turns holding her various belongings to our noses.
她死后，我们轮流把她的各种物品放在鼻子前。
Mom's coat, Mom's washcloth, Mom's pillow.
妈妈的外套，妈妈的毛巾，妈妈的枕头。
This is what people do when they're left with such paltry iconography.
这就是人们在留下如此微不足道的图像时所做的事情。
They smell things, continuing long after the scent has faded, and it feels silly to stand in the living room sniffing your mother's hairbrush.
它们会闻到一些东西，在气味消失后很长时间仍会持续，站在客厅里闻妈妈的梳子感觉很傻。
She'd been dead for three years when my aunt sent a home movie she'd transferred to videotape.
当我姨妈寄来一部她转录成录像带的家庭电影时，她已经去世三年了。
This was film shot in the mid-'70s, when she and my uncle had gone with our parents to the Virgin Islands.
这是 70 年代中期拍摄的电影，当时她和我叔叔随父母去了维尔京群岛。
My sisters and I put the tape into the VCR and watched as my father silently pleaded with a locked door.
我和姐姐们把录像带放进录像机，看着父亲默默地恳求锁上门。
We witnessed our aunt and uncle strolling white beaches and merrily waving from the deck of a boat.
我们目睹了姨妈和姨父在白色的海滩上漫步，在船的甲板上快乐地挥手致意。
It wasn't until the end that we finally saw our mother and then only briefly.
直到最后，我们才终于见到了母亲，但只是短暂地见到了她。
Whoever shot the footage had caught her unaware, walking out the door of a restaurant and slowly moving into the sun.
无论是谁拍摄了这段视频，她都没有意识到，当时她正在走出一家餐厅的大门，慢慢地走向阳光。
It was such a small thing, our mother snapping shut her purse and putting one foot in front of the other, but it seemed to us like a miracle, like the way the movies must have seemed when they were very first invented.
这是一件很小的事情，我们的母亲啪地关上钱包，把一只脚放在另一只脚前面，但对我们来说，这似乎是一个奇迹，就像电影第一次被发明时的样子一样。
On seeing the camera, she covered her eyes and ran back inside.
看到镜头后，她捂住眼睛跑回屋里。
"Get lost," we imagined her saying.
“滚吧，”我们想象她说。
But this was the beauty of video.
但这就是视频的魅力所在。
Our mother retreated into the restaurant, and, against her better wishes, we hit the rewind button, drawing her back out.
我们的母亲退回到餐厅，我们违背了她的意愿，按下了倒带按钮，将她拉了出来。
She was ours now.
她现在是我们的了。
And we sat there for hours, none of us speaking except to say, "Do it again."
我们坐在那里几个小时，除了说“再做一次”之外，没有人说话。
David Sedaris is the author of several books.
大卫·塞达里斯 (David Sedaris) 是多本书的作者。
His most recent is When You Are Engulfed in Flames.
他的最新作品是《当你被火焰吞没时》。
[MUSIC - "PEOPLE TAKE PICTURES OF EACH OTHER" BY THE KINKS]
[音乐 - THE KINKS 的“人们互相拍照”]
Our website, thisamericanlife.org, where you can download our podcast or listen to any of our old shows for free.
我们的网站 thisamericanlife.org，您可以在其中免费下载我们的播客或收听我们的任何旧节目。
Also, we have all kinds of merch in our online store.
此外，我们的网上商店有各种商品。
This American Life is distributed by Public Radio International.
《美国生活》由国际公共广播电台发行。
WBEZ management oversight for our show by Torey Malatia, whose original idea for This American Life could be described this way.
WBEZ 的管理监督由 Torey Malatia 负责，他对《This American Life》的最初想法可以这样描述。
It was called Crazy News, and it was basically a newscast that was supposed to be crazy.
它被称为“疯狂新闻”，基本上是一个被认为是疯狂的新闻广播。
Stay tuned next week when Darren Stein Productions present:
请继续关注下周 Darren Stein Productions 的演出：
This American Life is produced in collaboration with WBEZ Chicago and delivered to stations by PRX The Public Radio Exchange.
《This American Life》与 WBEZ Chicago 合作制作，并由 PRX 公共广播电台传送到各电台。